#laurance angst

[dilly-dahlia]

Longing for Skies of Blue

pairing: Laurance x fem!Reader

content: mcd seasons 1/2, fluff, angst, bittersweet ending

summary: Laurance Zvahl was your one true love—your Irene given soulmate. But when your one true love goes missing for over a decade, you decide it's best to move on. After you've settled into your new life, though, Laurance returns, and now you're left to grapple with the fact that your lover is not dead.

word count: 9.3k

masterlist

The cold of the wedding band was a stark contrast to the hand that put it on his finger. Your hand was warm, soft. Laurance found himself tangling his fingers with yours, holding onto the comfort and joy of the moment.

He hoped—prayed—that one day the wedding band would be a comfort, too.

“Irene has brought these two souls together. It is with her guidance that the couple standing before us has found the courage to hold each other no matter what comes their way.”

Laurance did the same to you. He picked the silver band from its box and put it on your finger with care. Your gaze had been lowered to watch the action, but when you lifted it there was a smile caressing your features that was brighter than any sun or blessing Laurance had ever seen.

He couldn’t help but give you one of his own, and he intertwined your fingers in a way to hold you closer.

“Legend says that Irene split her soul to give her lover eternal life, so he could stand by her side no matter the cost. We have no proof of this, however it is evident that the relationship shared between Laurance and Y/n is one that has been blessed by the Divine. One that will withstand the trials fate may have in store for them.”

A chuckle left your lips as your lover tried—and failed—to tear the silk fabric on the table in two. His eyes flicked to yours and he found himself laughing as well, complying when you gently took the fabric from his hands.

“Turn it,” you said, and when you did Laurance found it to be much easier to rip the white fabric. Together, the two of you tore it into two pieces. As your lord kept talking, you tied the ends together before handing it to her.

“Let this silk represent the strings of fate that connect these two.” Laurance took your hands in his, his thumbs rubbing soft circles across your knuckles as Lady Aphmau looped the fabric around your joined hands. “This silk will serve as Irene’s blessing on this marriage. It is with this tie that the people of Phoenix Drop . . . the people of Phoenix Drop . . .”

Aphmau stuttered, laughing to herself as she struggled to tie the fabric around yours and Laurance’s hands. She wasn’t new to her duties as lord, but she had never officiated a marriage before. Tying the knot in the way she had been shown was proving to be more difficult than she imagined.

Another laugh slipped past your lips as Garroth approached the altar. He was without his armor and helmet, a rare sight to see. Garroth reached out to guide Aphmau’s hands, effortlessly tying the knot and joining yours and Laurance’s hands.

Aphmau mumbled a brief thanks to him before clearing her throat and continuing. “As I was saying. It is with this tie that the people of Phoenix Drop wish you a happy, prosperous marriage. May Lady Irene take favor with your love and never let you go hungry. May you face minimal hardship, and may your union bring about the hope of joy in the lives of many.”

Aphmau draped another fabric—this one sheer and light blue, the color of the village—over your hands. Laurance’s hands stilled against yours. Instead, he held onto you with a steadfast grip, his hold on you unrelenting and sturdy.

“With the power that has been trusted in me as Lord of Phoenix Drop, I bind this marriage. Laurance Zvahl of Meteli, do you swear to promise yourself to your wife? Do you swear to hold her throughout life, no matter the difficulty you may face?”

Laurance smiled at you, his celestine gaze unwavering. “I do.”

Aphmau repeated the vows to you, turning her head to face you. There was a smile on her face as she spoke to you, asking if you would promise yourself to the conditions marriage posed.

You nodded, uttering a breathless, almost disbelieving, “I do.”

Aphmau bowed her head and took a step back. “Then I, Lady Aphmau of Phoenix Drop, give you my blessing. You may share your first kiss as husband and wife.”

Lotus petals—the flower of Irene—were thrown in the air. The sound of cheers and clapping were drowned out as Laurance kissed you with an unbridled passion and excitement you’d never seen him show before. He slipped his hand out of the knot, out from under the sheer fabric, to reach up and cup your face.

“You’re beautiful,” he mumbled into the kiss, hardly giving you a moment to breathe before his lips were pressed against yours again.

The day was cloudless and you were the picture of perfection against the cerulean sky. Laurance could think of no better atmosphere to get married under, and he hoped the rest of your marriage would bring about the same feeling he felt that day.

He refused to leave your side during the following celebration. He watched his sister and father welcome you into their family with open arms. Cadenza kissed your cheeks and Hayden placed a crown of white lilies on your head—an old tradition in the village of Meteli. Laurance smiled at the sight, pressing a brief kiss to your temple.

“And this is for you,” Cadrnza said once Hayden had gone. She handed you the box she had been holding.

“What is it?” you asked. It was tied with a green ribbon, and you held the end of it between two fingers, poised to open it.

Cadenza gently set her hands on yours, stopping you. “A little surprise for later.”

She winked at you and your eyes widened in embarrassment. You spared a glance to Laurance and found that his cheeks were red, though you weren’t able to look at him long.

Laurance cleared his throat. “Cadenza, that’s hardly appropriate.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Laurance,” Cadenza scolded. She rolled her eyes, pushing her long hair behind her shoulder. “My little brother just got married. Am I not allowed to gift him and his wife something they’d both enjoy?”

“Oh,” you squeaked, surprised. Your face heated and you reached up to push the neckline of your dress away from your body in a sad attempt to cool down. “Well . . . Regardless of what it is, we thank you, Cadenza.”

She gave you a warm smile and nodded. She placed an arm over your shoulders and pulled you in for a brief embrace. “Of course. I’m glad you’re the one Laurance chose.” She lowered her voice, whispering in your ear, “Between you and me, though, I don’t quite understand why you chose him, but-“

“Cadenza!” You couldn’t help but chuckle at Laurance’s short outburst. He reached over to playfully swat at his sister, but she effortlessly dodged.

“I’m only saying! Honestly, it’s a wonder you even got married considering how flirtatious you were with every girl you came across.” She scoffed. You could tell she had started getting hot under the sun because she began fanning herself with her hand. “Although, it doesn’t surprise me that Y/n is the one you chose. Irene, you never shut up about her. Every day he’d come home going on about-“

“That’s enough.”

Cadenza laughed, rolling her eyes before leaving you and Laurance alone. She left with the excuse that she was taking too much of your time, but from the way she gave you a wink as she walked away you assumed she’d be back.

Laurance wrapped his hand in yours, bringing it to his lips and leaving a soft kiss against your fingertips. “Ignore her,” he said. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“So she was lying when she said you never shut up about me?” you teased, giving Laurance’s hand a squeeze. His cheeks turned pink, and he softly shook his head.

“I will neither confirm nor deny.” You chuckled as Laurance kissed your palm. “All you need to know is that I’ve been smitten with you for quite a while.”

“Oh, I’m sure.”

Laurance led you to a table where you dropped Cadenza’s gift off among he many others placed there. After, you found Lady Aphmau and thanked her for performing your ceremony. She apologized for messing up the knot, but you quickly reassured her by saying that it would only make you and Laurance stronger.

And for a fleeting moment of time, a period that would seem like seconds as the world moved forth, everything was perfect.

—

Laurance’s hands were not soft. They were calloused and the tips of his fingers had hardened from his years spent wielding a sword. Despite that, he brushed his hands against your body like you were a precious statue—one that would break if he applied too much pressure. Despite his rough hands, he took care in making sure to touch you gently.

“I love you,” he mumbled against your lips. You hummed in response, your fingers tangling in his hair. “I’m glad to have you as my wife. I must be the luckiest man in the world to have been able to charm a beauty like you.”

You smiled, pulling away just enough to look into his eyes. They were partially closed, clouded with the love and desire he held for you. That look was always there, but it was even more evident now that the two of you were alone.

You admired him. The slight bump in his nose, the curve of his lips. The way his hair was soft beneath your touch. The way his hands were wrapped around your waist, holding you as close as you could possibly be.

“You should let your hair grow,” you said after a moment. Laurance’s lips turned up.

“Yeah?  You think I should do that?”

His touch—his always gentle touch—travelled up your spine. It was hardly there, making you shiver beneath the brush of his hands.

You nodded. “I liked when you had long hair.”

“You liked when it was orange?”

You huffed in amusement. You played with the strands of his hair, your hands not once faltering in their actions. “Maybe not orange. But I did like when you had long hair.”

Laurance hummed, and he leaned forward to kiss you again. He mumbled an agreement against your lips as he slowly lowered you to the neatly made bed. As his hands traced your figure—slowly and deliberately, as if he was memorizing your form—you relished in the feel of his warm body against yours. You took in every tingle his movement sent up your spine.

You circled back to the brief conversation from earlier. You needed to know if he felt the same toward you for as long as you had. “Cadenza said you never stopped talking about me.”

“I’d prefer it if we kept my sister’s name out of our bedroom,” your husband joked. He smiled down at you, his gaze flitting between the features of your face. “But she wasn’t lying. I do talk about you a lot.”

You couldn’t help but smile, the warmth of the moment enveloping you like a much needed embrace. “You are so in love with me,” you teased.

Laurance rolled his eyes. “And you are just as in love with me, so you can’t say anything.”

He kissed you before you could say anything else. His lips pressed against yours with such desire that you didn’t know what else to do but kiss him back. Again he traced your figure with his hands, his touch and hold filled with such softness you felt like melting.

Laurance pulled away. Just enough to say, “I’d like to see the lace Cadenza gave you.”

You chuckled against his mouth. Your eyes fluttered open and you gently pressed on his chest, pushing him far enough that you could properly look at him. “How do you even know it’s lace? Did you already look, Laurance Zvahl?”

“Why else would she have been so secretive about it?” he replied. He was still smiling. Irene, you loved that smile. “Is it a crime to want to see my wife in lace?”

You playfully scoffed. “Oh, Laurance, you are an insufferable man.”

He huffed in amusement, brushing his lips against yours once more wirh a featherlight touch. “Clearly I’m not insufferable enough. You married me.”

“That I did.” Laurance grabbed your hand, lifting it to his lips to press kisses to your fingers. “And I would do it again.”

He smiled, pressing your palm against his cheek. “Good.”

The two of you stayed like that for a moment. Your hand against Laurance’s face, grounding him. Reminding him that he retained his humanity despite what he had faced in the Nether. His pinky brushed against the band on your wedding finger, and his gaze flitted down to stare at it.

“I’ll get you a nicer one,” he said, noticing that the band had already begun to withstand scratches over months of using your hands. “Something made of more durable silver. Or gold. Diamond, if you want. I’ll get you anything.”

“I don’t care if the ring is paper, my love, so long as you stay beside me.”

Laurance smiled. He couldn’t help it, really. Any time he was with you his heart was filled with insurmountable amounts of joy. A happiness he couldn’t explain, and he found that he wanted to do nothing except hold you close and shower you with all the love he had.

His touch was gentle, as it always was. It stayed gentle, and he took great care in making sure you felt safe. He handled you like a priceless item and whispered praises in your ear, relishing in the way you held him in return.

“I love you,” he breathed. He peppered brief kisses across your face, your neck, your shoulders. Wherever Laurance could reach, he would kiss.

You felt like the luckiest person alive.

“I love you, too.”

—

The embrace you held Laurance in lasted so long that you were the only one left to board the ship. You weren’t entirely sure where it was going, but you had volunteered your help in taking care of the children that went.

Laurance had found you before you went. He’d grabbed into your hand and pulled you close while the ship was being loaded. Now, Zoey was standing at the ramp with Levin in her arms as she waited for you.

After a while, Laurance pressed his lips against your hair. He didn’t even kiss you, he just . . . stayed there.

“Please be safe,” he whispered to you. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“I should be saying that to you. You’re the one going off to fight.”

“I know, but . . .” Laurance took your hands in his and pulled away enough to look at you. He rubbed soft circles across your knuckles with his thumbs. “We’ve only been married four months and already we have to deal with something like this.”

You lightly exhaled, pulling your hands from his to cup his face. “I know, but this isn’t something we can’t handle. I will be safe with Zoey and the others, and I know you’ll come back to me soon enough. My husband is one of the best, after all.”

Laurance chuckled at your playful boasting. He leaned forward to brush a kiss against your lips and for that moment nothing else existed. There was no threat of looming war, no high priest intimidating your village, no worry of the inevitable death that would fall upon many families. For a fleeting second, the world was at peace simply because Laurance held you in his arms.

“This will pass and we’ll look back on this as a brief moment in our lives,” Laurance mumbled against your lips. He rested his forehead against yours, basking in your being. “Wait for me?”

You smiled. “I will. I’ll wait for you as long as it takes.”

“Y/n!” Dale called. You looked back to see him standing over the rail of the boat, urging you to board. “Come on! We have to go!”

You gave him a nod, turning back to Laurance. You smiled at him, leaning forward to kiss him again. One that was more sure. It sealed the promise that you would wait for him.

“Come back safe to me.”

“I will.”

You pecked his lips once more before reluctantly pulling away. Before you did, you gave his hand a firm squeeze.

Laurance watched you run up to the boat and up the ramp. He watched Dale push the ramp away and untie the roped holding the boat to the shore. You stood behind the rail, smiling at Laurance. You gave him a wave, which he returned.

He watched the boat until it was out of sight. Then, Laurance stepped away from the beach.

—

Fifteen years.

That fact hit Laurance differently each time he thought about it. Although, seeing what Meteli had grown into—what his sister rebuilt from the ashes with the help of their father—was the hardest hitting rock yet. He had spent all this time away—all that time that only seemed like minutes to him.

And where were you? Levin hadn’t said anything about you. Neither did Malachi. Dante barely uttered your name and avoided Laurance’s gaze the first time he asked. Dante acted like Laurance hadn’t even spoken any other time you were brought up. Donna had mumbled something about you that he couldn’t quite make out and was too nervous to ask her to repeat. And Cadenza, your best friend, hadn’t spoken a word of your being.

Were you dead? Laurance promised his time away from you would only seem like a fleeting moment on the beach. He promised it would be just a second of borrowed time until everything returned to normal and you were in his arms again. But since so much time had passed . . .

Where were you?

Laurance walked by Aphmau’s side, hand poised above the hilt of his sword, ready to strike at a moment’s notice. Aphmau was talking to Cadenza, though Laurance wasn’t sure what about. He was almost positive he was meant to be listening, but he couldn’t bring himself to. His mind was racing, panicking in the absence of you. You hadn’t been in Phoenix Drop. Cadenza hadn’t said anything about you so he assumed you weren’t in New Meteli, either. Bright Port wasn’t too far. And there was always Scaleswind . . .

It felt like a weight was lifted from his chest when he heard Cadenza say your name. He became even lighter when she said you were living in New Meteli.

Laurance walked with a pep in his step after learning that. It might have been his imagination, but the journey to New Meteli felt quicker than it had been going. He was glad for that. Laurance had always hated traveling.

“Alright,” Cadenza began. In her arms she carried a basket of fresh fruit, going around and offering some to Aphmau and her friends, along with the guards of New Meteli. “Since all of you will be staying for a couple days, we’ll need to figure out sleep arrangements. I can probably take a few people here. Zack, is the guard quarters open at all?”

“I’m afraid not. If they had come any other week then it might, but with the new recruits from the guard academy the guard quarters is filled,” the black-haired guard, Zack, said. Laurance assumed he was the head guard.

Cadenza pressed her lips together, humming to herself as she thought. “Y/n’s still in Bright Port . . .”

“I believe she comes back today,” the blond one said. He was clearly younger than the other two Cadenza had called to her house, and his voice was softer. More timid.

Laurance perked up at your name, and so did Cadenza.

“Does she? Okay, that works out fine, then.” She murmured to herself for a moment. Something about you owning an inn that Laurance and his companions could stay in. “Vincent, will you wait at the gate for her? Oh, and tell her that she has a visitor.”

Vincent bowed his head. “Of course, Lady Cadenza.”

Laurance was glad when Vincent left. He no longer felt that suffocating thickness of air, but he now worried about you. He was afraid that Vincent—no matter how in control he said he was—would become a Shadow Knight and slice your head from your body.

But, he reminded himself, you had been living here for some time. There was no doubt you had been around Vincent, and if Cadenza still spoke your name then it meant he hadn’t killed you. Laurance calmed himself, loosening the hand he had unintentionally clenched.

Everything else that was said went in one ear and out the other. Laurance heard the words exchanged between Aphmau and his sister, but he couldn’t quite pin any sort of meaning to them. And when you followed Vincent through the door, every other sound seemed to dissipate in the air.

Laurance gaped. He almost couldn’t believe it was you. Your eyes were tired, your hair pulled out of your face with a bonnet. Your dress seemed worn and was faded, like it had gone through more uses and washes than it was made for. The sleeves were pulled above your elbows and you wiped your hands on the fabric wrapped around your waist. You looked nothing like the clean, proper girl Laurance had made his wife. Like Cadenza, you had made yourself into a more practical person as the years passed.

However, it was still you. The shape of your eyes was familiar and they still shone as brightly as the sun, despite the circles beneath them. The curve of your lips still made Laurance’s own curl up, and he let out a soft breath of relief.

Your gaze flicked to him. Your expression froze, smile slowly fading. Laurance feared for a moment that you weren’t happy to see him, but he realized it was only shock when you softly gasped and lifted a hand to your lips.

“Laurance?”

—

“Please can we move to Bright Port?“

You chuckled, glancing back at your son. You lifted a hand to protect your eyes from the blazing sun. Your ring sparkled in the light. “Enzo, we are not moving to Bright Port.”

“Why not?” Lorenzo groaned. He leaned back against the wall of the wagon. “There’s way more stuff to do and there’s actually kids my age there. Plus, with that many people, business will be better.”

You rolled your eyes, readjusting your daughter in your arms and turning yourself in the seat so you could face Lorenzo more clearly. “We can’t just up and move, darling. Carlos would have too much to take care of with the inn. Besides, Cadenza is in Meteli. She loves seeing you.”

Lorenzo groaned. “Yeah, but I’ve barely been able to see her since grandpa died.”

“Lady Cadenza has just been busy with adjusting to her duties as lord,” your husband cut in. His hold on the reigns didn’t falter and he kept his eyes on the road ahead, but Lorenzo turned his gaze to him. “Once she gets used to it she’ll want to see you again.”

Lorenzo groaned again. “But she’s been lord for almost two years now.”

“Hey,” you scolded. The gate of Meteli came into view, and you thanked Irene that you only had a couple more minutes. “Being a lord is hard work. Your aunt is still working on rebuilding the village to work in her favor and she’s facing a lot of societal pressure on top of that. Besides, your birthday is coming up. You can bet she’ll want to see you then.”

Lorenzo sighed, slouching down where he sat. It was clear there was more he wanted to say, but the wagon was closing in on Meteli and the conversation would go unresolved anyway. You softly exhaled, reaching back as best as you could to take his hand and squeeze it in comfort.

“We’ll talk more about this later, okay? Maybe you can convince me and Carlos to move.”

Lorenzo gave you a tight lipped smile and dropped the subject. You turned back so you were facing forward, adjusting your baby in your arms accordingly.

“How’s Maureen doing?” Carlos asked, his gaze flicking to you for a moment before turning back.

“She’s slept most of the way. I think the movement helps her,” you mused, brushing your thumb across your daughter’s brow bone. “I remember when Lorenzo was this small. He wouldn’t sleep for anything.” You smiled fondly, glancing back at your son. He had taken to picking at his nails and didn’t look up.

You softly hummed, your fond smile turning into something more bittersweet. As Lorenzo grew, he only looked more and more like his father. It was something that sent a sharp pang through your heart every time you looked at him and realized he was growing into his features. 

“Lady Y/n!” Your head turned at the sound of your name. Carlos pulled the wagon to a stop in front of Meteli’s gate, where Vincent stood. You furrowed your brows in confusion, leaning forward to hear him better. “Lord Cadenza has requested your presence.”

“Really?” She hardly ever called for you if she thought you were on a trip or recovering from one. The last time she summoned you had been two years ago after a brief trip to Phoenix Drop. It had been to tell you and Lorenzo that Hayden was dead. “What for?”

Vincent shrugged. “We recently welcomed a group and she was wondering if you had any space in your inn. She also said there was someone you’d be interested in seeing.”

Now you were even more confused. You stared at Vincent for a moment, mouth slightly agape, before shaking your head and regathering your thoughts. “Of course. She wants to see me right now?” Vincent nodded. You sighed, turning to your husband. “I guess I’ll see you. Get settled at home and then meet me at Cadenza’s house, ‘kay?”

Carlos nodded. He leaned forward to brush a kiss against your temple and take Maureen from your arms. You turned to bid Lorenzo a brief farewell before Vincent helped you down. Once the two of you had gotten out of the way, Carlos urged the horses pulling the wagon forward.

“Did she say who I’d be interested in?” you questioned, walking by Vincent’s side.

He shook his head. “She didn’t say who, but I think it’s someone you used to know.”

You hummed. You ran through a list of people in your head, but you couldn’t think of anyone that would want to see you. You had just come back from visiting a friend in Bright Port. You had seen the residents of Phoenix Drop not too long ago. Nicole often exchanged letters with you to keep track with each other’s lives, and anyone else you could think of wasn’t someone you had built a relationship with before.

So who was it?

You were laughing at something Vincent had said as he pushed open Cadenza’s front door. Your laughter rang like a bell throughout the foyer and living room as you stepped inside and swept your gaze over the room.

And then your eyes caught sight of familiar faces—ones you hadn’t seen in over a decade. Your laughter and smile slowly died as your gaze ran over Aphmau. And then Katelyn, and Emmalyn. And then . . .

You softly gasped, lifting your hand to your mouth. You couldn’t believe your eyes. Right there—right in front of you—stood the husband you thought had been dead. Right in front of your eyes was the man that made you feel alive and in love all those years ago.

And he looked exactly the same as he did when you departed at the docks of Phoenix Drop. You must have been dreaming. No one could look so . . . unchanged after fifteen years of living.

“Laurance?” Your voice was breathless, his name coming out as a disbelieving whisper from your lips. You stood frozen, not knowing whether to jump for joy or back away from something that was so obviously not real.

Laurance stood. He nudged Cadenza, who had been talking with Aphmau, out of the way and was in front of you in a moment. His hands were on your arms, almost like he was making sure you were real. You found it ironic, since he was the one that had disappeared for fifteen years.

His lips were on yours before you could even form a coherent thought. He held you like he had been waiting. All the while you still had a hard time knowing if he was real. You heard Cadenza gasp and softly curse to herself.

You stayed frozen, not knowing what to do. Not knowing whether to kiss him back or stay still as a statue. Whether to push him away or bring him closer. The back of your neck burned, and you found yourself choosing to pull away for a breath of air.

Neither of you said a word. You spent a moment just looking at each other, taking each other in. Tears sprung to your eyes and you took a strangled breath. You cover your mouth to muffle it and take in the moment further, sure that you were dreaming.

That’s when Laurance saw it—the golden band embellished with a circle diamond on your finger. His gaze hardened, and once again it hit him that you hadn’t seen him for fifteen years, no matter how short that time felt for him.

Laurance could only afford to buy you a silver ring—one that easily dented and scratched—but during that time away you had found someone that could get you better. Someone that could provide you with stability and wealth.

You had lived what seemed to be an entire lifetime without him.

“Are you real?” you found yourself whispering, slowly lowering your hand. Your voice came out quiet, scared, almost. Like the dream would shatter if you acknowledged its illusion.

Laurance found it in himself to nod. “I am. I’m here, Y/n.”

“Oh, my Irene,” you gasped, covering your mouth again. You still couldn’t believe it. You had dreamed of the moment you would be able to hold Laurance in your arms again. You dreamed of the moment you would be able to sit with your old lover and tell him everything that had happened. The moment you would spill all of your grievances and regrets to him. The stolen moment where you told him he had a son.

Tears slipped from your eyes, falling in hot streaks down your cheeks. You didn’t know what to do. You had imagined your reunion over and over, hundreds of times before. You rehearsed what you would say, guessed what Laurance would say, but now that the unbelievable moment was staring you in the face, you didn’t know what to do.

“Thank you, Vincent.” You hardly processed the sound of your husband’s voice ushering Lorenzo into Cadenza’s house. Standing there, barely a foot across from Laurance, made the rest of the world disappear in the same way it did fifteen years ago on your wedding day. The rest of the world disappeared the same way it did that day on the beach, the last time you saw him.

“Mom, are you okay?” Lorenzo placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, pulling you out of your astonished stupor. You softly gasped again, turning to face your son. The spitting image of his father.

You managed to softly nod, your gaze flicking between him and Laurance. You still found it hard to believe. You could walk to the grave you had given Laurance, and yet here he was. You never imagined you’d be able to see him standing next to his son.

You cleared your throat, nodding more surely. “I’m fine,” you said with a hoarse voice. “Fine. Uhm, Carlos.”

Your husband stepped forward. He held Maureen in his arms, but the moment you held your arms out for her, he handed his daughter over. He stayed close, however, and wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

“I’m right here,” he whispered, only loud enough for you to hear it. You nodded, unable to meet his gaze as you held Maureen close. There was no doubt that he recognized Laurance. You and Cadenza had both shown Carlos pictures of him. You’d both told him about the man you thought had been dead.

You swallowed the pit in your throat. “This is Carlos,” you said, nodding slightly to the man next to you. “My . . . husband.”

You struggled to say that last word. It felt weird to say, even though it never had been before. The entire situation felt surreal, and the way everyone else in the room seemed to be closely watching the interaction didn’t help.

You watched Laurance’s mood change. It was evident in the way his eyes dulled and his brows pulled together by just a fraction. Despite that, Laurance played nice and held his hand out for Carlos to shake.

After the two shook hands and exchanged pleasantries in meeting, you motioned to the baby in your arms. “This is my daughter, Maureen.” Laurance smiled at her, the same one you had fallen in love with years ago. Finally, you lifted your hand and placed it on your son’s shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. You took a breath, your voice softening as you spoke. “And this is Lorenzo, my son. Lorenzo, this is Laurance.”

Realization flashed across both of their faces. Laurance’s gaze flitted all across your son’s face, recognizing the bump in his nose, the curve of his lips, the line of his brows, the shape of his eyes. Even Lorenzo’s hair and eye color was a near copy to what Laurance had seen countless times in the mirror.

Lorenzo’s head turned to face you so fast you were almost surprised his neck didn’t snap. His brows were pulled together, bunching in the exact same way Laurance’s did. “You told me he was dead,” he said.

“I thought he was,” you whispered. Carlos hadn’t said another word, but the weight of his arms across your shoulders served as a way to ground you. Even if you felt like you were going to shatter any moment.

“Lorenzo, how old are you?” Laurance asked. The crease in your son’s brow smoothed as he looked at Laurance. The action nearly sends you down a spiral.

“Fourteen,” he replied. “I turn fifteen in three weeks.”

Laurance’s eyes slightly widened. His gaze flicked to you, his celestine eyes seeming to search in the depths of your heart for any sort of information. “Is he . . . ?”

You nod, suddenly feeling very overwhelmed. Seeing your son and former lover standing together was something you never thought you’d experience. Not only was it like you were seeing double with how identical they looked, but for the past fifteen years you had grappled with the fact that one of them was dead.

You opened your mouth to speak, but a soft cry fell from your lips instead. It was completely involuntary, and the small action made you realize that you couldn’t handle whatever was happening, dream or not.

“I can’t do this.” You had whispered it to yourself, but Carlos heard your comment and in response softly squeezed your shoulder. The weight of his arm fell away and he reached for your daughter without being asked.

“Go outside and take a moment to breathe and clear your mind. I’ve got Maureen, my love,” he told you. You didn’t move for a moment, marvelling in the fact that your husband somehow knew what you needed. You sniffed, softly nodding before turning and leaving Cadenza’s house.

For a long moment, you paced up and down the steps to Cadenza’s front door, trying to get control of your breathing and stop yourself from crying. You realized that wasn’t happening, though, and sat yourself on the bottom step. You pulled your knees to your chest and wrapped your arms around them, laying your head against your crossed arms and allowing yourself to cry.

You hardly heard the door open and close behind you. It wasn’t long until you felt someone sit beside you and place a gentle hand in the middle of your back, rubbing small circles as a way to comfort you. When you looked up to see who it was, Cadenza offered you a soft smile.

“Are you alright?” she asked, her voice hushed. You lifted your head and used the heels of your hands to wipe at your tear stained cheeks.

“Of course not,” you bluntly replied. Despite yourself, you laughed. A headache was starting to form behind your eyes, so you closed them and began rubbing your temples to soothe it. “Cadenza, this isn’t real. It can’t be. He- Laurance is dead. He’s been dead for fifteen years, I- How is he here?”

“I know,” your friend said. She wrapped her arm around your shoulders properly, pulling you closer so she could embrace you. “He came into Meteli with Aphmau and everyone else a few hours ago. He and Aphmau explained that they got stuck in the Irene dimension.”

You scoffed, opening your eyes and facing her. “The Irene dimension? Seriously, Cadenza? I’m supposed to believe that he was not only in another dimension, but that he was in a dimension that not even the most knowledgeable scholars of Irene believe is a real place?”

Cadenza pressed her lips into a line. “I still don’t fully believe it myself. But, it makes sense, doesn’t it? All those theorists say a minute there is a year in our world . . . Besides, it’s what everyone that went missing is saying, so maybe it isn’t so unbelievable.”

“Well it’s ridiculous.” But was it really? Both you and Laurance had been devout followers of Irene. On more than one occasion the two of you had entertained conversations about sanctuaries she created for herself—ones where she could rest without the hassle of mortals. She was a Divine Warrior, and Enki did know how to create other worlds.

You considered the fact that Laurance was in this other dimension. “If . . . If I had known he were still alive I would have waited.” Even though you promised him all those years ago that you would.

Cadenza didn’t need you to elaborate. She knew that you would have waited for him to come back, no matter how long it took. In response to your comment, she huffed. “And waste the time you spent building the life you have now?”

“It would have been different if I had known that Laurance was alive.”

“Even so, there would have been no telling how long you would have been waiting,” Cadenza stated. “You would have spent fifteen years being miserable and missing him? You would give up everything you remade for yourself? Your husband, your children.”

Cadenza’s words hit you. She was right, as much as you didn’t want to admit it.

“You are who you are because Laurance was dead,” she continued. You stared off at the village paths, watching citizens walk along the road. They were accompanied by children or pets or lovers, and something about it reminded you that everyone lived their own life. “Lorenzo is who he is because his father was dead. You cannot let yourself dwell on what could have been, Y/n, because there is no way we could know how waiting for him would have turned out.”

She stopped talking, allowing you a moment to stew in her words. After a minute, you sighed and closed your eyes again.

You wished with all your being that you could have waited for him. You wished that life had gone just a little differently, that one small thing would be changed in the past. Where would that put you now? Surely you’d still be happy with Laurance and your child.

But Cadenza was right. Dwelling on what ifs wouldn’t help anyone, and the realization made your eyes burn.

“I don’t know what to do,” you whispered, your voice cracking as you fought another wave of tears.

Cadenza squeezed your shoulder again. “Just do your best. That’s all you can do.”

You gave her a soft nod, letting out a heavy breath. 

You and Cadenza sat together on the bottom step leading to her house for what might have been hours. Neither of you spoke. Neither of you needed to. You both knew that you simply needed to be together in that moment because reflecting on it, what had she been thinking when she saw that she hadn’t lost all the family she’d ever known? She had you and Lorenzo, of course, but you couldn’t replace Laurance and Hayden and Joh and you knew that.

You wrapped your own arm around Cadenza’s shoulder and rested your heads against each other. You had always been each other’s support. She was there for you throughout both of your pregnancies. You had been there for her during the death of both her fathers. Together, the two of your mourned the loss of Laurance.

And you would continue to support each other, no matter what happened.

—

Hours later, long after the sun had set and you had recuperated with Laurance and your family, you found yourself basking in the soft breeze in a meadow on the outskirts of New Meteli beneath the stars.

Laurance had told you everything. He started with the war, explaining how he watched you sail off with Zoey and the other women and children of Phoenix Drop. He said he had been completely unaware that you were pregnant, just as you had been.

He went on to detail Garroth’s betrayal and how it led them to the Irene dimension. He told you about the battle and how Zoey rescued them. When he shared that they had to leave Garroth behind in order to prevent Zane from also leaving, you teared up. Laurance told you that he and the group that went had been trying to figure out how to get him back.

After that, you had gone home for a bit. The six of them followed your family to the inn and settled in their respective rooms. Lorenzo turned in after tucking Maureen into bed, which left you and Carlos.

You told him everything from that day. When you told him that Laurance had kissed you and that you had considered kissing him back, Carlos didn’t blame you. He said that if Mary Ann suddenly came back to life, then he likely would have done the same. You had smiled and kissed his cheek, saying you were thankful he understood your situation.

“I love you, Carlos,” you had told him. He had pulled you into an embrace and planted a kiss on your temple.

“I know you do,” he had said, rubbing your arm. “I love you, too, but I also know what it’s like to lose a spouse.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“I could never be. Not for something like this.”

Now, you sat in a meadow. Your eyes were closed and you welcomed the chill of the breeze around you. You didn’t know how long you had been sitting there, but it had been long enough for you to mostly clear your mind and regather yourself.

“I thought I’d find you here.” You opened your eyes and turned your head. Laurance approached you, his old armour shimmering under the moonlight. “You always did like contemplating in nature’s company. Especially beneath the stars.”

You couldn’t help but let a small smile grace your lips as Laurance settled himself beside you. “I guess no matter how much time passes, some things don’t change.”

He hummed. The moment reminded you of your first couple rendezvous with him. The ones where you were aware of each other’s feelings but too shy to act on any of them.

Laurance blew out a breath. “So.”

“So.”

Laurance chuckled, looking up at the stars. “How have the past fifteen years been?”

You softly shook your head, glancing down at where your hands were intwined in your lap. You picked at your cuticles as you spoke. “Good, I suppose. I had Lorenzo. I stayed with Dante for a bit in Phoenix Drop before deciding to help Cadenza and Hayden rebuild. After a while I met Carlos. We got married, had a daughter . . . You know.”

Laurance hummed again. He kept his stare trained on the sky, tracing the constellations he knew. “Carlos . . . Is he good to you?”

You nodded. “The best. He grounds me when I go too high, makes me breakfast every morning. He treats Lorenzo like his own son.” You smiled fondly, finally looking up to Laurance. “He’s a lot like you, actually.”

“A hopeless romantic and flirt?” You laughed, but nodded all the same. Laurance brought himself to meet your gaze and a smile graced his features. “Wow, you really do have a type.”

“Oh.” You reached forward to playfully smack him in the shoulder, and suddenly you were reminded of why you had fallen in love with Laurance in the first place.. He was so easy to talk to. It didn’t take much for you to be charmed by him and the two of you never had a dull moment. You playfully rolled your eyes. “He’s a lot like me, too, so it isn’t just that.”

“How so?”

You shrugged. “We’re in the same boat. His wife succumbed to an illness eight years ago. Her name was Mary Ann. It was actually why he came to New Meteli in the first place. He had been living in Borobos with Mary Ann and her family, but once she died he decided to come back to his own family.” You looked back down at your hands, picking at your nails again. “It’s actually how we started talking. I told him I knew how he felt and told him about you. He told me about Mary Ann, and we just kinda . . . went from there.”

“But you’re happy with him?” There was a lightness to Laurance’s voice. It almost seemed as if he hoped your answer was no so he could swoop in and save you.

You nodded, looking up to meet his gaze. “I am.”

Laurance pressed his lips together and didn’t say anything else. The two of you spent a moment in silence, just looking at each other. You looked at the man you had lost so long ago and Laurance admired the woman you had become.

“What’s Lorenzo like?” he asked after a long moment.

You smiled, pushing hair out of your face and pulling it over your shoulder. “Surprisingly a lot like his father,” you teased. A breath of amusement fell from your lips. “He’s incredibly restless, always wanting to help others. He says he wants to become a guard.”

Laurance’s lips curled up. “Just like his dad.”

You laughed, tears pricking at your eyes. You reached up to wipe them away before they had a chance to fall. “Yes, just like his dad.” Another moment of silence passed. The breath you took broke it. “You’ll be proud of him.”

“I’m sure.” Laurance noticed the tears building on your waterline and reached forward to brush his thumb against your cheek. After a fleeting touch, you pulled back and turned your head away. Defeated, Laurance let his hand drop. “What’s your daughter’s name?” he asked after a tense second.

“Maureen,” you replied. “We named her after Mary Ann since Carlos didn’t have a kid with her. And because Lorenzo is named after you.”

“He is?” You nodded. “Why?”

You let out a heavy breath, looking back down at your lap. “I was scared that if he ended up looking like me then you’d be gone forever.”

Laurance softly laughed to himself, trying to make light of the situation. “Well, he’s the spitting image of me.” The comment made you laugh as well. “Honestly, I looked at him and thought I was looking in a mirror.”

“I know,” you laughed. “I’m glad he does. It’s a reminder that you’ve been with me all these years.” You sniffed, shaking your head and looking up at the sky. The tears burned in your eyes more persistently, and you hoped that looking up would stop you from crying. “Oh, I was so mad when he came out with blue eyes and brown hair. He looked nothing like me, and when he was born I thought you had just . . . left me. I didn’t want Lorenzo to be a painful reminder of that.”

“And yet, you named him after me?”

You waved him off. “Don’t question what I was thinking. I was pregnant.”

The two of you laughed. For a moment, you were taken back to when you first met. The easy conversation and laughs, the way Laurance could pull any response from you that he wanted despite how nervous you made him

When your laughter died you sniffed, wiping your eyes and turning to look at him. “It’s really nice to see you again, Laurance.”

And just like that you were crying. You tried not to—you really did—but the bizarreness of the entire situation made you unable to hold anything back. Laurance reached forward and you let him pull you into his arms. It was an embrace you had missed for fifteen years. One you never thought you’d feel again so you let yourself be pulled in the moment. You let yourself, for just that moment, pretend that Laurance hadn’t been gone for fifteen years. You let yourself pretend that the two of you had stayed together, that you had waited for him. For a moment, you imagined what that life might have been like.

“I love you,” Laurance,” you softly said once you were able to catch a full breath. His arms tightened around you and he hid his face in the top of your head. “There will always be some part of my heart that belongs to you for the rest of my life. But I’m not the same person as I was. I’ve grown and have come to accept that you died, and . . .”

You trailed off. Now you knew he wasn’t dead. You knew seeing him wasn’t just another dream. You knew that, if you really wanted to, you could take him back as your husband. But . . . You didn’t want that. You were happy with Carlos. You understood each other and had helped each other grieve. Maybe if you hadn’t married Carlos, if you had stuck by your promise and just waited for Laurance, you’d have taken him back. But nothing could replace the relationship you had built with Carlos.

“I can’t be with you again,” you said. It was hard to say, especially when Laurance held you in his arms. “And it’s not because-”

“It’s alright.” You were almost thankful Laurance cut you off because you weren’t sure what you were going to say. “I understand. You thought I was dead, and before that you thought I’d deserted you. I don’t blame you for moving on.”

You nodded against him, letting go of the breath that had been caught in your throat. It felt as if a weight had been lifted from your shoulders.

“I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you,” you said. It wasn’t something you felt guilty about, but you still felt that you owed Laurance that apology.

“Don’t be. You had no way of knowing I would come back. Or when, for that matter. I would rather you move on than spend fifteen years being miserable and lonely while waiting for me.”

You hummed, a faint smile painting itself on your lips. “That’s what Cadenza told me after Dante’s daughter was born.”

Laurance laughed, the sound giving you the same feeling as hearing the birds chirping on the first day of spring. “Cadenza was right. Maybe it’s because she’s my sister.” You laughed, finally pulling yourself out of Laurance’s embrace so he could see the way you teasingly rolled your eyes. As you reached up to dry your cheeks, Laurance caught sight of your golden ring and a wistful smile found itself on his face. “Are you really happy with Carlos?”

You nodded. “I am, Laurance. I’m so happy with him.”

“Then don’t worry about us.” He reached up to give your shoulder a comforting squeeze. “As long as you’re happy with Carlos and he treats you right, then our time has passed. You’ve moved on from me, and it’s clear you don’t love me in the same way you did.”

You smiled at him. “Thank you for making this easier.”

“It would be cruel of me to make it more difficult. I know it’s already hard seeing me again.” You nodded in response. This time the silence that enveloped the two of you was comfortable. There was a new air of resolve and you no longer felt any pressure. “My only request is that you and Carlos let me spend time with Lorenzo. I know he also thought I was dead, but . . . I’d like to be a father to him.”

You laughed, finding it ridiculous that Laurance thought you would take that away from him. “Of course I will, Laurance. I was actually thinking about letting him go back to Phoenix Drop with you, if that’s alright.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You could show him all the places that are important to you. Tell him what they mean.”

Laurance smiled. This time, he looked like he was about to cry. He lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck and nodded. “That would be nice.”

Maybe in another timeline you were still happily married to Laurance. Maybe the two of you were still in Phoenix Drop, living happily with Lorenzo and a happy girl named Mona and another boy named Daniel. The two of you would be living in a house built on the shore with the help of Lady Aphmau and Garroth and Dante and whoever else had decided to pitch in. Every day Laurance would go off to fulfill his duties as second in command and every day he would come home and greet you with a kiss. The two of you would spend dinner with your children every day.

He would hold you just as gently as he always had. You’d laugh against each other’s lips and every night he would hold you close in his arms. The two of you would age together and watch your children grow, living life in the same way you had.

But that wasn’t in this lifetime. In this lifetime, you had mourned the loss of Laurance and healed from it. Part of you would always belong to him, as you had said, but it was no longer the right time for your love. You had grown into a different person, one you weren’t sure Laurance would like the same way he did.

You were okay with that. Your love had run its course and it was time to grow apart. You would stay in each other’s life, but no longer would your fates be entangled as it was years ago.

Sometimes, when the day was cloudless and the sky was cerulean, Laurance would look up and wonder what that life would be like. He would yearn for a life where he hadn’t disappeared for fifteen years and sometimes he would beg the Divine to give him back the lost time. They never answered, and Laurance was left feeling like a fool for wishing for something that was so far out of his reach.

But as time passed, he would long for those dreamlike days less and less. He would learn to grow with you not as a lover, but as a companion. It would take a long time, but Laurance would find happiness in the days that had become his reality. He would eventually find it in himself to feel content, even if this was far from what he wanted.

No matter how much time passed, though—no matter how at peace he felt with the life he was living—some part of Laurance would always long for skies of blue.

this idea came to me as I was listening to “Daydream” by Elliot James Reay and i literally rushed to write it

also sorry that this is so long I got excited while writing it :( i hope you guys enjoyed though and that you aren’t too sad anywayssssss

TAGGING: @mellozhi @garrothswiferealnotfake @lilfarquad if you’d like to be added to the mcd or laurance taglist (or any other one) comment or DM to let me know!!

[cinnamontoastcroonch]

angst for the people:

do you think laurance ever noticed dante’s slight resemblance of gene despite not knowing their relation?

did he ever find himself with his breath stolen from him as he saw gene in his peripheral, only to realize it was actually dante?

did he ever wake from a nightmare, decide to take a breather, and nearly draw his sword when he bumps into dante? (he apologized profusely, how could he have ever made that mistake)

[xerith-42]

I know I said Laurance was a failed Icarus but what if he's also the ship of Theseus?

So many people use different magic and weird relic powers on him, and there's all the realm traveling, losing his eye or something, getting his vision partially replaced. Some healing spells do some things and some fail completely.

So many people have patched him up whenever he's started falling apart. Is he even the same person he once was?

Can he even recognize the reflection staring back at him anymore?

[fruitcakebro]

angst,

angst laur.

What if he was there when his father was assassinated?

What if he was there, the newest member of the guard, a son beside his proud father...

And a moment too late to stop the blow that murdered Joh?

What if he saw the light leave his father's eyes, every moment conscious that he'd failed him?

What if he spent the rest of his life wondering what would have happened if he'd been a moment faster? If he hadn't been weak?

What if he could never look Hayden or Cadenza in the eyes again without feeling like he'd betrayed them?

[cinnamontoastcroonch]

OH MY FUCKING GOD IM ABOUT TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK THIS IS EVERYTHING

DAY SEVEN: IN ANOTHER LIFE

or the world in which laurance succumbs

[laurzvahll]

wanted to post something but Im still busy and haven’t drawn much so here old art of River , my mystreet insert/oc LOL (featuring @ootttteerr ‘s insert Akira)

they’re supposed to look like Sol I think I mentioned before that it’s a fun joke that they’re twins in different universes

[demisofphoenixdrop]

Cadenza is a strong leader after the time skip. She has to be. She's spent her whole life grieving.

She was orphaned as a child. Before she was even a person, she had to witness all she knew go up in flames. Her fathers took her in and raised her with her adoptive brother - her best friend.

And then one of her fathers dies. Tragically. He's murdered in cold blood. The scene is gory and she can do nothing about it. Her brother feels responsible for it.

But she pulls through. She has to. Life goes on.

Suddenly, she's cursed. She's kidnapped. She's whisked away to hell for reasons she doesn't understand, and her brother comes to save her.

And he doesn't come back with her.

It's her fault.

But by the grace of whatever cruel god is out there, he comes back. His body is broken and his soul is crushed, but her brother is home.

And then her other dad dies. And she mourns. All she has is her brother-

But no. Her father is fine. For now. He survives the war. Her best friend doesn't.

Laurance dies, this time for good. He disappears, along with the woman who helped her learn to live her own life, and a handful of other leaders. So, she goes to pick up the pieces. She helps her father run new Meteli until he passes too.

And now she's alone. Her parents are dead. Her brother is dead.

Until he isn't.

He comes back AGAIN. She grieved for fifteen years just for him to turn up like a ghost, looking exactly how he did when he died the second time.

Cadenza has a terrible relationship with death. She's seen it everywhere, but she can't seem to believe it. Sometimes she lays awake at night, wondering when her family will come home to her.

[cinnamontoastcroonch]

he’s pissed & needs to be kissed.

once i saw somebody on a diff platform say that the sk’s hair floats slightly when transformed & i really liked that idea so i tried to emulate it

whoever is on the other end of his lil dagger is in for it

[cinnamontoastcroonch]

before laurance realizes that he is genes brother, he can’t help but put together how similar they look, despite the difference in hair color. this troubles him. he values dante as a brother once they become familiar. he doesn’t want to associate him with that man, with what he did to laurance in the nether.

when this fact is revealed, laurance does not see dante any differently. he could never be upset with somebody for their relations. dante, though, doesn’t know what to do with himself. he had noticed that odd way in which laurance would look towards him sometimes. how he would look the other way, nearly skittishly if they held eye contact for too long. so odd for his usual confidence. but before then, he hadn’t known of what gene had put him through. he hadn’t known what it was about him that would shake laurance when they crossed paths in their individual bouts of sleeplessness—until now.

he despised himself for a while. he hated that his face resurfaced so many memories that laurance wished to keep at bay. sure, he never knew laurance before he was turned, but he was sure that whatever his brother had done was responsible for that uncharacteristic flicker of terror that infected laurance’s gaze from time to time.

dante looks like gene

just softer

but he looks like gene

thats why he dyes his hair

[lyraofthestarsss]

Do you think Laurance saw his Aphmau covered in these black and purple void burns after failing to open the Irene Dimension portal and he remembered the other Aphmau

Do you think since there was no magic in Void Paradox and there was no easy cure, that she would be like this until she died?

Do you think he was scared that she wouldn’t wake up again? That the void burns had already covered too much of her body?

Do you think he was afraid that if she did wake up, she wouldn’t be herself? Like how the other Aphmau woke up with black eyes and inhuman strength, trying to strangle him in his most vulnerable moments?

[dryya-doesnt]

Brothers: born from the same roots yet branching out so differently

Trying to get consistent portraits for the brothers I hope they look related… I mean compared to how I draw Laurance. Same face syndrome begone… I have an inconsistent art style.

[propertyofrjl]

As someone who is currently rewatching all of Aphmau's series and has major brain rot over the Aphverse, i am desperate to find a fic where some of the mystreet people get somehow transported to the MCD universe. BECAUSE IMAGINE THE ANGST POTENTIAL IF MYSTREET!ZANE WAS IN THIS GROUP OMG.

MCD!Garroth having to see what he could have had with his own brother if things were different is breaking my heart.

OH OH OH BUT ALSO

Right imagine this little mystreet group is also when they're teenagers, smol little Zane being transported to a world where pretty much everyone despises him because MCD!Zane is the embodiment of evil.

Like, maybe little Aphmau and Zane get separated from the others and end up in Phoenix drop, they manage to make it to the town square where Molly is coming back from praying to Irene, and she sees Zane, the man who hurt her precious baby and used dark magic on their town. Molly then runs to alert whichever guard she can find (it just so happens that Laurence, Garroth and Dante are all leaving the guard tower for their respective patrols at that moment)

These men run to the town square, fearing the place they are sworn to protect is under attack by one of the most dangerous tyrants of their time, and they come to find not only Zane (who's looking around with a sour look on his face, and albeit a little smaller than Garroth remembers) but also the woman they spend their lives protecting (and two of said party are definitely, totally, not in love with her...)

And when i say they're teenagers, i mean the first season of PDH vibes, so Zane and Aphmau with these squeaky voices and no social skills, and Aphmau has spent most of her time looking around in awe up until that point because OH MY IRENE ZANE IT'S JUST LIKE MY GAME!!!

Laurence moves first, rushing over he knocks Zane to the ground harshly before yanking Aphmau away, to which she screams because this tall, scar covered, very scary looking version of her friend (or maybe crush depending on when in PHD this happens) has picked her up far too easily for her liking and she's worried about Zane.

Then Garroth and Dante move in, and suddenly Zane is being looked down upon by his big brother with such a look of disgust and hatred that has never happened before. Garroth loves Zane. Sure they disagree and fight every now and then, they're brothers, but Zane knows Garroth loves him and would keep him safe, and even though he wouldn't admit it, Zane loves his brother too. But the scary and hate filled man standing above him does not make Zane feel safe, and a flush of fear runs through him, followed by watery eyes and embarrassment because why is he feeling so weak and despised by one of the only men in his life who's provided a steady stream of love (unlike his dad)

And when Zane pulls his shaking hands up in surrender, with this wounded animal look upon his face, MCD!Garroth almost has to double take, because not even as children has he ever seen Zane look at him with such fear, the only man who'd ever brought fear upon Zane's face was their father, and maybe that gives Garroth his own little internal crisis because he's tried so hard to be nothing like dear old dad.

BUT ALSO, LETS PICTURE THIS

The rest of the group (let's say...Laurence, KC and Garroth) show up, and they try to find a way home without the help of the villagers of Phoenix drop, only to be attacked and have Zane kidnapped by people MCD!Zane has royally pissed off. The little group run back to Phoenix drop for help, and all the MCD lot just can't seem to understand why these little versions of themselves/their friends want to help Zane of all people so badly. It takes the Garroths having a full on row over it and Mystreet!Aph breaking down in tears to get people to help (because how can Laurence and Garroth watch a small version of the woman they love sob and not do something to try and help?) and obvi Lord Aphmau was on board the moment they asked and was going to do it alone before her Guards through out their protests and Little Garroth decided to cuss out MCD!Garroth for "abandoning his baby brother" (which is where the fight started)

...

Maybe I should write this myself...

Anyway, that's where my brain has gotten me today.

[cinnamontoastcroonch]

oh my god i cannot afford to cry rn

give me more

I kept thinking about making Laurence have some kind of magic like a phoenix where he can come back after dying even if his body is destroyed and just got the idea that after the rebellion he starts to lose his ability to feel anything in relation to death.

You can only die so many times before the concept stops having any meaning to you and it doesn’t help that he feels everything every time. He feels it when his body’s torn apart, he feels it when it puts itself back together. Rising from the ashes isn’t nearly as grand as people make it out to be.

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA oh its hurts THATS SO COOL

i have this headcanon that : shadow knights cant die/put their souls at peace until shad/shadow lord is dead and defeated. and when shad falls, zenix and vylad's lives begin to wither away and die after an hour or so and its sooo sad. they become/feel human again in that short time and can feel love and sadness and passion again one last time.

however laurance never truly died nor became immortal, so laurance's body just weakens significantly until he's bedridden and he lives a comfy life w most of his friends around for a few more years </3

at least once shad is dead all the lost shadow knight souls can be passed through judgement and gifted w reincarnation :D

[chackyxyooj]

A Single Dance

Where he can do nothing to stop the distance growing between you.

╭──────────.★..─╮

Description: Laurance still loves you, but he can’t deny how his love has changed. || Hurt/No Comfort, Angst.

Pairing: MS!Laurance X Reader

WC: 1.7k

CW: Angst without a happy ending.

AN: Of this mini-series, this one is my favourite.

SMLS Masterlist

╰─..★.──────────╯

You look so happy out there on the dance floor. You, surrounded by dazzling lights and buzzing people, seem to shine way brighter than you have all day. Maybe even all week. And where is Laurance but the seat of his chair left to watch you as you dance the night away. He’s supposed to be your date, your boyfriend, but he can only notice how much happier you are without him hovering over your shoulder.

Tonight is your last outing before the two of you officially break things off. Nothing like a wedding to rub salt into the wound of an incoming breakup. Though it would’ve been better to end things earlier, you and Laurance decided to put it off. If not for the sake of your own hearts, then for the sake of your mutual friends. The last thing either of you wanted was to make your friends tread on eggshells the entire night. That being said, the only ones walking on eggshells tonight are Laurance and yourself. Truth be told, it’s been like this for a while.

It’s been said that the majority of highschool couples will break up within a year of dating. Not all of them, obviously, but there’s a reason why the term ‘highschool sweethearts’ is such a Romantic idea.

Laurance was sure that you and him would be the exception to that rule. I mean, it helped that a lot of your mutual friends also thought the same way. They were always talking about how you and Laurance make such a cute couple. How you and Laurance have a spark that they only see in young couples. And for a while, they’d be right.

Laurance’s love for you was like a fire. It was hot and bright, and most definitely obvious. He was never afraid to convey his feelings with his flowery words and overzealous actions. If he ever had the urge to show you how much he loved you then he would. Laurance would go to the ends of the earth and back if only to prove his love for you; even if that meant leaving you behind in the process. But that’s just how things were for him - always getting swept up in the Romance of it all until you carefully call him back.

You’ve always been a softer person than Laurance. You prefer to show your love through soft spoken words and gentle touches. For every ballad that Laurance sings at the top of his lungs, you prefer to write down the melody and tuck it away for safekeeping. You’ll always know just where to find it if you’re ever in the mood to listen, and you’ll keep it that way for you and him alone.

Laurance had always found that part of you charming, and you’ve always admired Laurance for his undying passions for the ones he loves, but not all admiration is weighed equally.

He’s never wanted to blame you for the way you made him feel, for the way he wanted you to make him feel, but there have been times in Laurance’s life where your gentle love feels like nothing at all. When compared to the blazing light of his own desires, your expressions of love seemed to fall short. Or perhaps it was the heat of Laurance’s burning desires that smothered the words you wanted to say.

Either way, it was only a matter of time before Laurance’s acquaintances picked up on your apparent lack of romantic gestures toward himself - and it wasn’t too long before Laurance’s grand gestures were questioned by acquaintances of yours.

Laurance knows that the words of simple acquaintances shouldn’t have affected him as much as they did, but those fleeting comments did more than he realised.

His declarations of love and bold affirmations slowly began to dwindle. Of course someone like you would take notice of such a change, but Laurance didn’t want to make you uncomfortable anymore. He decided that he should love you the same way you loved him. That should be enough. That should be all he needs! But he was wrong.

If only he had asked you sooner. If only you had told him first. If Laurance had known how much you loved him and his bold declarations then maybe the boy wouldn’t have been so ashamed about loving you the way he wanted to. But alas, he held back.

And now you stand across the room - apart from Laurance as you dance the night away.

Laurance loved you, but no matter how much he may have loved you, the love you share is no longer the same as what it once was. There’s no one to blame for such a thing, and even if there was, that wouldn’t undo the distance that sits between you and Laurance.

Your eyes beckon Laurance from his seat and beg him to come to the dance floor, but Laurance can’t bring himself to stand. How could he when he knows that things will change after tonight?

How can Laurance bring himself to stand at your side when he knows his things are packed away in boxes? How can Laurance bring himself to listen to your breathy laughter and quiet remarks when tonight is the last night he’ll get to call you his?

How could Laurance ever stand by your side when he didn’t even comfort you after he broke your heart?

Laurance loved you. He loved you so much that pulling away like this is akin to twisting a knife into his own stomach, but he doesn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved. You deserve to be loved by someone who will express their love for you undoubtedly and without hesitation. Even if he was that person at one point, Laurance knows he isn’t that person anymore.

“Laurance? Are you there?” Your voice rings clear in Laurance’s ears.

The boy can feel his body stiffen at the sound of his name when it falls from your lips. “W-what’s happening?”

“It’s a slow song. We should dance together.”

“M-me? I’m good! I’m just, you know… I’m not a big fan of dancing.” He doesn’t lift his gaze from the floor. Not when he can see your shoes right in front of him. Not when you’d be able to see right through his lies.

You release a sigh before leaning down and reaching for Laurance’s hands. The boy hardly has a chance to protest before you’ve pulled him from his chair and onto the edge of the dance floor. You don’t force him to look at you and you don’t force him to smile. All you do is guide his hands to your hips. Your love is gentle like that.

“It seemed like you were having fun earlier.” Laurance comments.

You shrug to yourself, giving a short hum as you shift beneath Laurance’s hands. “It was lively.”

“Lively, huh?” Laurance chuckles to himself, doing his best to mask the guilt that swirls in his stomach. “Are you sure I should be here? Wouldn’t it be better if I was still off to the side?”

“I don’t think the table needs you right now.”

“And you do?”

Laurance’s dry chuckle slows at your silence. For as gentle as you are, your answer is loud and clear - almost painstakingly so. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Laurance briefly runs a hand through his hair.

“O-oh.”

“But if you want to go then you can.”

“No! No, that’s okay.”

I want to stay here with you. They’re the words Laurance wants to tell you, but they’re also the words he refuses to speak. Not that there’s any need for him to say them when he’s already dancing with you; when you’re already holding him in your arms.

Would it make Laurance a bad person if he leaned forward and rested his head on your shoulder? What was he saying, of course it would make him a bad person. At the very least it’d make him selfish.

Laurance was the one to bring up the break up in the first place. He was the one who broke your heart. He’s not allowed to do something so blatantly romantic when he was the one who tore it all away in the first place. But oh, how he wishes he could be so heartless. To be so cruel that he would indulge in his own desires after all the pain he put you through. To-

“Stop.” Your voice commands Laurance’s attention while avoiding the attention of everyone else around. “You’re spiraling.”

“What? No I’m not.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not lying!”

“Then what’s with that look on your face?”

Laurance opens his mouth to reply but no words form. You’ve always been really good at noticing the little things. It’s part of the reason why he loved…no, why he loves you. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“But I do.” Your reply is quiet - something meant for only Laurance to hear. “You’re having second thoughts, aren’t you?”

“S-second thoughts?”

“About us. About where to go after today. How things will change after tonight. You’re thinking about everything but what’s happening right now.” You wordlessly guide Laurance’s head so that it rests against your body. “Worry about tomorrow when it arrives. Even if things are different tomorrow, tonight I’m yours, and tonight you’re mine. That’s all that matters, right?”

You’ve always been a softer person than Laurance. You prefer to show your love through soft spoken words and gentle touches. Even when you know how things will turn out, it never persuades you to treat him any differently. It’s part of the reason why Laurance so helplessly loves you, and why he knows he can’t covet you for himself.

But just as you asked, Laurance clears his mind of all his thoughts and worries. Just for now, Laurance will lean into the feeling of your body against his. Just for tonight Laurance will let himself be selfish and give in to his whims just because he knows he still can.

When all is said and done, Laurance knows that this is the last time he’ll get to hold you this way.

[kurithedweeb]

Garrance who are in love but also very aware that they both hold the second place medal of each others' devotion. Their Lord will always come before their lover. She will always hold the greatest parts of their hearts, always carry the greatest pieces of their souls with her, and neither one of them will ever be able to bear asking for them back. She will never love them the way they love her. But they still have each other, even if they can't give the other all their love, and maybe the jagged edges of where the pieces their Lord carries split off from the rest of them can fit together like a puzzle. Maybe together they can be enough.

[laurancezvahlslefteyebrow]

The real reason Aphmau can’t love them back

Keep in mind this is referring to my rewrite <3

The “them” in question is Garroth and Laurance

Garroth is the descendent and incarnation of Esmund the Protector: an admirer and great friend of Irene/Aphmau’s.

Laurance is the incarnation of Xavier the admirer: guardian, friend, and lover of Irene/Aphmau.

She loved them both dearly, they, along with the rest of the Divine Warriors meant the world to her.

But, in order to seal Shad away for good, she had the use the life forces of the warriors, killing them. And although Xavier was not a Divine Warrior, he was still lost in the final battle.

Esmund and the others were essentially incinerated, there were no bodies to tend to. But Xavier wasn’t.

The blast wounded him, more than Irene herself could heal. All she could do was sit with him, hold him. Until he could hurt no longer.

Some years after, she’s unable to move on. She can’t. It was her fault. She still tries to help people, but she’s so tired. And so, she locks herself away for 900 odd years.

When she returns without memories, it’s a fresh start for her. But each time she encounters a Divine’s incarnation, she can feel it. She doesn’t know what it is exactly that she’s feeling, only an overwhelming sense of trust and love.

And she feels it strongest with Garroth and Laurance. She assumes purely that this is due to them being her guards.

But along with those feelings and trust and love, comes a pit in her stomach. A sense of guilt. A sense of doom.

She can’t help but feel like she’s only hurting them by letting them get so close. She can’t love them, not the way she wants to. The way they want her to.

Because that’s how they get hurt. That’s what gets them killed. Again.