#there may be a replacement tho? somewhere

[pjsk-headcanons]

I like to think that at some point, Mafuyu loved psychological horror. Was obsessed with it. Anything scary with a deep meaning about depression,bullying, or worse.

I'm projecting because I relate heavily to her and one thing about how I am is psychology, whether it be in horror media or not, attracts me, but always the darker aspects about psychology. So I like to think it'd be fitting for Mafuyu

-🫀 anon if it's not taken

‎

[pure-smut]

Hello :)

May I ask you for an eating out session with Togame Jou, Yamato Endo and Hayato Suo?

coming undone.

featuring: Togame Jo x f!reader, Hayato Suo x f!reader

contains: established relationships, cunnilingus (ofc), orgasm denial/control from Suo, dom!Suo, aftercare

note: all characters are aged up to 21+!

MDNI | 18+ content

word count: 2.3k

masterlist

a/n: ty for this request!! unfortunately i haven't read the manga so i don't think i'd do Endo justice bc i don't know him that well (he has got some SERIOUS drip tho ngl) but i hope you enjoy Togame and Suo!!

Togame Jo

Your day has been shit.

You trudge through your front door, dropping your bags and jacket on the floor and trudge over to your bed, falling face down onto it with a groan. It’s not even 7pm but you’re ready to go to sleep and hope that when you wake up tomorrow, you never have to put up with a single customer again.

You know you should get undressed but your body aches from standing for a full ten-hour shift and you’re so emotionally drained, you just want to rot where you’ve landed.

“Who do I need to fight?” Togame’s voice floats from somewhere behind you. He’s only half-joking.

You sigh in response, not even having the energy to vent.

Togame’s hand smooths across your back, feeling your stress knots. He gives a sympathetic tut. He hates seeing you like this, hates that you hate your job but there’s no other jobs going. Every time you tell him about another shitty customer, he has to physically restrain himself from tracking them down.

“What do you need, baby?” he asks, his deep voice soft.

“Just want to lie here,” you mumble into the bed covers. “Feel like shit.”

Togame looks over you, feeling your sore limbs and he desperately wants to smooth the stress from your brows, wash the worries from your mind. He knows what to do.

With easy strength, Togame moves you up the bed, gently turning you onto your back. You let him, flopping over with another heavy sigh.

“Sorry,” you mumble. “I’m not good company right now.”

��You see me complaining?” Togame grins down at you.

The corner of your mouth upticks despite yourself. You fling an arm over your eyes, sitting in easy silence for a few minutes. It’s not long before you feel the mattress shift beneath you as Togame pushes his body between your legs, leaning over you. You feel his lips on your cheek before moving down to your neck, pressing soft kisses.

You don’t move, letting Togame lick a lazy stripe across your collarbone.

“How about I make you feel better, hmm?” he hums in your ear.

Just from Togame kissing your neck, you know you’re already wet, but you really don’t have the energy to do anything right now. You pull away your arm from your eyes.

“I’m sorry, Jo,” you tell him. “I’m too tired. I don’t think I can cum tonight.”

Togame thumbs your bottom lip, easy smile on his face.

“You don’t need to do a thing,” he says. “And there’s no pressure to cum, okay? I just wanna kiss your pretty little pussy for a bit.”

You feel your lips tugging into a smile.

“Okay,” you relent, with a playful roll of your eyes. “Go ahead.”

“Thanks, baby.” Togame grins. “Always so good to me.”

He pushes up your dress to your waist before lying down on his stomach between your legs. He doesn’t take off your panties, not yet. Togame likes to take his time, especially with the things he enjoys most.

Togame sucks small bruises into your inner thigh, replacing the marks he’d left a few days ago. Your legs are lazily laid out, not enough energy to even pull them back for him but Togame doesn’t mind. He slings them over his shoulders, your calves resting on his solid back.

You feel his hot breath on your clothed pussy just before the heat becomes solid, his tongue pressed against the thin fabric. Togame brushes his tongue up and down your panties, just on the other side of your clit, the warmth of him teasingly sweet. Togame loves feeling you get wet through your panties, loves knowing he can make you soak them through. He presses wet kisses against the fabric, tasting you more and more as your body responds.

You lie there, sighing softly, enjoying the feel of Togame’s mouth even through your panties.

Needing to taste more of you, Togame eventually hooks his fingers under the hem and tugs them down, repositioning so he can move them down your legs. They’re not even fully off, still dangling around one of your ankles when he returns to your dripping pussy.

Togame presses his mouth flush to your mound, his tongue dipping between your folds. He moans into your pussy as he finds a well of your slick, lapping his tongue in and out of your hole for more.

“Mmm,” you moan lightly, your eyes closing. You’re motionless, no energy left in you as Togame lazily makes out with your pussy.

His strong nose nudges your clit as he pushes his tongue deeper inside you and your hips buck on instinct. Togame pulls back to suck on your lips before licking his way back up to your swollen bud.

He could spend forever between your legs. He’s not even trying to make you cum, too lost in exploring you with his tongue, in mapping and memorising every inch of you. He latches his lips around your clit as he flicks his tongue over it and you make your first real moan of the night.

Togame smiles against you. He’ll never get bored of hearing you make that sound. But he knows you’re tired and sore. He knows you’re not in the mood for anything rough or fast or hard. And he’s more than happy with that – this is always more his pace.

Togame laps at your hole again, gathering more of your arousal on his tongue before returning to your clit. You move only slightly, only enough energy to whimper, your fingers barely grasping the bed sheets. Togame continues his languid strokes of his tongue, resting his temple on your thigh as he sucks slowly on your clit.

You can feel your orgasm building, your body responding to Togame even when you’re too tired to lift your arms. Togame can feel it too, in the slight quiver of your thighs.

In the quiet evening of your shared bed, amongst your low whimpers and his lazy moans, Togame makes you come undone against his tongue. It’s not the kind of orgasm that seizes you, that makes you see white and curves your spine. It’s the slow kind. One that sends ripples of pleasure right through to your fingertips, that coats your boyfriend’s mouth and chin in your juices.

Togame rises up, not bothering to wipe his face, but by the time he crawls up to kiss you, you’ve already fallen asleep.

Hayato Suo

You’re lying bent over the bed, your wrists bound in front of you and tied to the headboard. Suo hums as he ties your ankles to the feet of the bed, making sure the binds are snug but not too tight. He takes his time, knowing the anticipation is killing you, and that’s half the punishment.

When Suo’s done, he presses a soft kiss to the back of your thigh – making you jolt – before rising to his feet. He cocks his head, raking his eyes over you with a smile.

You look so pretty like this, all splayed out for him, not an inch of you he can’t see or touch. He has to resist the urge to smooth his hand over your skin, to stop himself touching you just yet.

“You’ve been bad,” he says, his voice light but there’s a hard edge to it. Just the sound of his voice makes you shudder.

“Y-yes, sir,” you manage to stammer out. “I’m sorry.”

Suo chuckles darkly.

“Yes,” he muses. “You will be.”

You close your eyes, goosebumps springing along your exposed skin.

You had been teasing Suo all day when you were both out with your friends – your hand just slightly too high on his thigh, bending over slightly too long in front of him, your kisses slightly too lingering. You couldn’t help yourself. Suo’s always so in control, so sharp-eyed he’s one step ahead of you. Seeing him struggle to keep his composure as you teased the life out of him was just too damn satisfying.

And now you’re paying for it.

Suo trails his fingers in a featherlight touch across the back of your thigh. You squirm under his touch, desperate for more, and Suo tuts at you.

“You’re going to stay still and behave,” he instructs. “Understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.”

There’s a long pause. You swallow, not able to see what he’s doing. It’s thrilling and a little scary at the same time but you trust Suo more than anything. You wait, almost patiently.

You bite down a squeal as you suddenly feel Suo’s tongue on your pussy. He licks a long, deep stripe from your clit to your hole before sliding his tongue inside you. You whimper lightly, keeping as still as possible like he told you too.

Suo pulls your cheeks apart to give him better access, fucking your tight hole with his tongue. You feel him hot and wet inside you, rubbing against the nerves at your entrance to make your thighs quiver involuntarily. You desperately want to move, to push your hips back against his face, but Suo has you tied down firmly. All you can do is lie there as he slides his thick tongue in and out of you.

By the time Suo moves down to your clit, he finds it dripping with your arousal and throbbing under his touch. Even the lightest lick is enough to make you gasp, your legs pulling against the restraints as your thighs clench.

Suo listens to you, to your moans and the way your body moves, keeping his strokes focused on your clit. His hands move to the flesh of your ass, grasping you firmly as he sucks on the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Can I – ah – can I cum, please, sir?” you whimper against the bed sheets, your orgasm impending and coming quicker than your lust-addled brain can process.

“No.”

Suo pulls back, your pleasure quickly replaced with frustration.

With what little movement you could make, you sink back onto the bed. Suo continues to touch you, stroking your back and the sensitive spot on the back of your thighs, but he doesn’t lick you again. Not yet.

When you don’t complain, instead remaining silent - albeit a bit pouty - on the bed, Suo smiles and squeezes your ass.

“Good girl,” he praises.

Suo returns to your hole to flick his tongue over it, gathering your slick. Your taste is addictive and Suo has to fight not to get lost in the moment, not to close his eyes and give you exactly what you want. But you’ve been teasing him, almost making him lose control, and he can’t have you getting away with that.

You start to stir again under him as he eats your sensitive pussy. Suo sucks on your lips, slides his tongue in your hole and licks fat stripes between your folds. He teases you, licking you deliciously but never going where you really need him to.

Your clit throbs with need, Suo assaulting you with pleasure without bringing you to the apex. It’s only when your juices are dripping down his chin and you’re half-sobbing on the bed that he moves down to your clit again.

You make an almost feral moan as he latches around your swollen bud, his soft, hot tongue stroking against it in the way he knows drives you crazy. Suo uses his thumbs to pry your lips apart, gently freeing your clit from its hood. He carefully laps at it, so exposed and sensitive that even the lightest lick is enough to makes your thighs shake.

“F-fuck…” you breathe raggedly. “I’m… oh, fuck… C-can I please – ah – please cum, sir?”

The desperate plea in your voice makes Suo smile. Still, he pulls back and says, “No.”

You bury your face in the sheets to stop from screaming. Your pussy aches, even the air on your lips enough to make sparks of pleasure run through you.

Suo stands and slides two fingers inside your sopping pussy. You moan and try to buck your hips, held down by the restraints. Suo slowly pistons them in and out of you but he doesn’t curve his fingers, doesn’t seek out the bundle of nerves inside you that he knows will make you cum. He’s just keeping you going, keeping your pleasure sustained without taking you over the brink.

“P-please, sir,” you sob. “Please, I need to cum.”

Suo hums thoughtfully.

“You are begging very nicely,” he allows, fondness in his voice. “Have I punished you enough?”

You try to speak but Suo’s fingers are addling your brain, making it hard to think. You desperately nod instead.

“Are you sorry?”

���M’sorry,” you moan. “Won’t… do it – uhn – again. Promise!”

"Then you can cum, sweetheart."

Suo withdraws his fingers, leaving you feeling empty, but it’s soon replaced by his tongue. You moan, long and low with satisfaction as he softly sucks on your clit again. You’re so oversensitive that any stimulation would have done but the feel of Suo’s deft tongue is enough for an orgasm to rip through you.

You cry out, half-sobbing, as pleasure wracks your body. If you weren’t tied to the bed, your legs would collapse from under you. You fist the bed sheet so hard your knuckles turn pale, a seemingly endless tidal wave running through your body. By the time your orgasm starts to fade, you’re breathing hard against the sheets, sweat coating your body, your throat hoarse from moaning.

Suo unties your restraints, pressing kisses against your skin as he does so. When you’re finally free, he scoops you easily into his arms before sitting on the bed, his back against the headboard and you over his lap. He strokes soothingly down your back and legs as you curl up against him, his heartbeat against your cheek.

“You feel okay, my love?” he asks, voice soft.

“Mhm.” You give a small nod. “M’okay.”

“You were such a good girl,” he assures you, pressing gentle kisses against your forehead and temple. “I love you so much.”

You snuggle up tighter against his chest.

“I love you too.”

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[probablyreadinsmut]

Fallin'

18+ ONLY - MDNI.

(Formerly Good Graces)

Please note: The images used above do not reflect readers skin colour or her description. You are the main character in this fic.

Joel Miller X Afab!Reader

Set Pre and Post Apocalypse

Summary:

Reader is Joel's neighbour, a mid to late twenties pastry chef, who finds herself running on fumes. You're married to your high-school sweetheart Matt and for the longest time you were happy.

The loss of his job a few months prior changed him and before you knew it, the man you'd married didn't exist anymore. Replaced by a volatile stranger, it was him, but it wasn't him.

Joel Miller finds himself at the centre of it all and when the world ends, the trouble for him, doesn't end with it.

Warnings/Tags for this fic: Verbal abuse, Porn mentioned, Angst, Language, Alcohol abuse, Death, Canon Typical Violence, Original Characters, Smut, PIV Sex (Unprotected, wrap it before you tap it), Fingering, Oral (M&F receiving), Pregnancy scare, Angst, Cheating (readers husband is a dick tho).No use of y/n. No physical descriptions of reader, no height, weight, skin colour, eye colour, no mention of hair type, length or colour. Reader has a vagina and breasts. Pussy pronouns used. Terrible knowledge of various American states - I'm British and relying on Google maps haha. It would also explain why you'll see things spelled differently such as, 'Neighbour'. Use of pet names e.g : Sweetheart, Darlin, sweetpea etc.

Warnings for this chapter: Swearing, alcohol mentioned, Verbal abuse. Probably poor proof reading so my apologies if I make a mistake somewhere.

Tagging my mutuals, if you'd rather I didn't please lmk <3

@almostempty (this is me grovelling for forgiveness bc I know you've already read part of this 🥲) @cheekychaos28 @itwasntimethatdidit40 @lovely-vamp-princess @morallyinept

The Fic is named after this absolute tune of a song

I'll stop yappin' now. This is a rewrite so thoughts welcome <3

Word Count: 4.2k

Next Chapter

Chapter One - Sometimes I love you, sometimes you make me blue.

April 12th 2003.

It's truly has been hell today. Lunch service was a fucking nightmare, the chefs all seemed to be in a shit mood as it was, so when the front of house started sending through order after order, the ticket machine working overtime to print them, you absolutely knew you were going to be hearing that thing in your sleep for days now. It could only get worse from there and it did. Despite being a pastry chef they'd asked you to jump on the line to help, which usually you wouldn't mind, but today the dessert orders were coming through thick and fast aswell, but hey, you're a people pleaser so you tried to do both and how'd that work out for you? Terribly that's how.

You misread tickets. "Hey table 8 asked for no radishes! Get your shit together over there!". You over cooked the cake you had in the oven, finding it dense and dry when you finally got off the line.

There was so much more as well, but it had all become a stressful blur, going into what you like to call 'Survival mode' for the rest of your shift. 

You were just having a bad day. That was the mantra that was going around and around in your head. 

///

By the time you get out of work at 7 and start to drive home, you're exhausted and tense, gripping the steering wheel so tight on the way home your knuckles turn white. Not even listening to your favourite CD is helping. 

Alicia Keys soulful voice still fills the car. By now you'd be singing along unrestrained, belting out the lyrics to Fallin' but right now it may as well all be white noise to you. 

Why? Because you know what you're going home to. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch the glint of the gold wedding band sitting on your ring finger as a constant reminder that you're not about to go home to an empty, quiet house. You won't just be able to slip into a hot bath and self medicate with that unopened bottle of wine in the fridge. But, oh how you wish you could.

Matt. You were married right out of high school, he was your first everything and you couldn't see yourself wanting to spend the rest of your life without him. These days though.

You always knew marriage wouldn't be plain sailing but you were only prepared for the obvious things like how to keep your marriage alive, how to adjust to becoming parents someday, what you would do if one of you ever got sick. But when he'd lost his job a few months back, nothing could have possibly prepared you for the dramatic shift that would come with it. The drinking, the way he spoke to you now, like you were a piece of shit on the bottom of his shoe.

You didn't recognise this man. He wasn't your Matty anymore.

///

It's about 7.45 by the time you pull up onto the driveway, the cul de-sac is quiet, save for a few kids riding their bikes up and down the street, it's almost dark but the street lamps provide enough light and you weren't a parent so who were you to judge? The street is a pretty safe one, away from the busier main roads that lead into the city anyway. 

Killing the engine, a heavy sigh leaves you as the car falls into silence. A quick glance in the mirror shows the bags under your eyes and your hair flat on your head from being under your skullcap all day. You could just stay in the car a little longer, but honestly? That's just delaying the inevitable.

As you get out, there's a squeek of bike tyres behind you and a soft voice calling out your name, formally of course, she's clearly been raised to 'respect her elders' it's sweet the way you've seen her interact with the Adlers across the street, Sarah's a good kid. You almost don't hear her in your daze but on the third time just as she's about to speak again "Mrs--".

You spin around to face her, plastering a smile on your face, dead on your feet from working a 10 hour shift but the idea of going inside and facing Matt after a day like today isn't a prospect you're keen on anyway. "Oh hey Sarah, sorry I'm just in a world of my own tonight!"

Sarah's a bright kid, she had to grow up quickly in a way after her mom left, she's seen her dad on his worst days, adopting a sixth sense on how to know when somethings wrong, but she also knows when it's best not to pry too much, even if right now 'Is everything okay?' is on the tip of her tongue, she won't ask.

"Thats okay, my dad spaces out too sometimes after a long day" It's a relief to you honestly, the last thing you want is to try and explain all your adult problems to a twelve year old, you couldn't even if you tried. "I've been meaning to say thank you for giving me that brownie recipe, Uncle Tommy loved them, said I should be a baker when I'm older" She beams proudly, soft brown eyes crinkling at the corners. 

It's almost impossible not to smile back, your own lips turning upwards into a warm smile, a genuine one for the first time today. "Well you're very welcome and hey, I could always use an extra set of-"

You're interrupted by your own front door swinging open, Matt stepping out onto the porch, hands on hips as he barks your name. Your smile vanishing just as quickly as it had appeared. 

Something Sarah doesn't fail to notice. 

"The hell are you still doing out here? I heard you pull up nearly 20 minutes ago." He's exaggerating, it's barely any time at all, but this is what he does. It's what manipulation does to a person. 

He notices Sarah over your shoulder and his tone immediately changes, like a chameleon changing colours to blend in with its surroundings. It makes your skin crawl because you know him, the real him. The subtle swaying suggests he's been drinking already, for how long though? You don't know. What you do know is that the second you step foot inside, that's when he'll drop the facade. The look in his icy blue eyes tells you enough to know that. You'd wonder what you've done to upset him this time, but it would be pointless.

"Oh hey Sarah, sorry didn't see ya there!" He calls out to her in an overly sweet tone with a raise of his hand, Sarah gives him a small barely there smile in return. 

"That's okay, I'd better get going anyway, my dad doesn't like me staying out too long after dark. See you around." you turn your head in her direction just as she's about to get back on her bike and there's an expression you've never seen before from her specifically. Pity. As a child of divorce herself, she knows when something isn't right.

You watch for a moment longer as she rides her bike back across the street. 

Joel's slightly beaten pick up truck parked on the driveway gives you a small sense of relief that at least she's not going home to an empty house tonight. He's a contractor, you knew that much from what Sarah had mentioned about him in passing before and for some reason you'd stored away that little nugget of information about him. 

You've noticed that sometimes he works late into the night. That 1am 'I need to hydrate now or I'm surely going to wither away' trip to the kitchen has made it so you've witnessed his late home arrivals through the kitchen window many times, practically dragging himself out of the cab, ready to collapse into an exhausted heap. 

You had to admire that though, doing it all by himself. Sometimes you think about going it alone too, more so these days. 

A stern call of your name behind you snaps you out of your thoughts and back to reality. Matt. 

"I'm coming." Even if he clocked the resignation in your voice, he wouldnt care anyway. You follow him inside the house and the day you just wanted to end, wouldn't be over yet. 

///

As Sarah opens the backdoor into the kitchen she registers two things. One, the radio is on, the familiar twang of Johnny Cash filling the kitchen, but the second thing? Snoring. Just over the radio she can hear snoring and it brings a small smirk to her face as she rounds the corner, crouching down to untie her converse and neatly tuck them away on the shoe rack. 

"Dad?"

With a jolt, Joel is awake, back aching from falling asleep hunched over the dining table, blueprints for the next big job sticking to his cheek for a second before he prys it off, wiping the back of his sleeve over his mouth, he'd been drooling. Yikes.

Taking a moment to straighten himself out and blink away the fatigue before he responds "Uh... Yeah, in here darlin!" 

"You fell asleep didn't you?" It's always embarrassing for him when she catches him like this, knowing that the teasing about how old he is will go on for days now. "It's barely 8pm and you're falling asleep at the table, sorry dad but I think it's time I start picking up nursing home brochures!"

"I'm only thirty-five, you little shit." it's a reply full of mirth, she's the light of his life and she knows it. He rubs a hand over his tired face, realising he needs to shave soon as the stubble scratches across his skin.  "How was your bike ride? The gears still sticking at all? I can take a look again if you need me to."

"Nah, s'okay now thanks." The fidget of Sarah's hands and the twist of her lips as she sits down at the across the table tells him somethings wrong.

"Sweetpea? Everythin' okay over there?" he can't help the way his dark eyes fill with concern as he looks at his baby girl, wondering if the neighbour kids were assholes to her, or if something happened at school today, something is playing on her mind. 

"Well, yes and no. I'm okay personally but-- You know the lady across the street? She gave me the recipe for those brownies Uncle Tommy loved?" Her tone makes him wonder where she's going with this, nodding his head once, prompting her to continue.

"I- I think somethings wrong with her, dad. I was talking to her outside her house just now and everything was fine until her husband came out and- I don't know, I saw the look on her face and I heard the way he spoke to her when he thought I wasn't there and the way he switched up when he realised I was. Something didn't feel right."

///

Little did Joel Miller know, this would be where his trouble would all start.

///

It had been a couple of weeks since that night at the dining table when Sarah told him about the neighbour. Joel had tried not to get involved, he really had. But what Sarah had told him just keeps playing over and over in his mind. 

"Darlin' no ones marriage is perfect, they're probably goin' through some shit right now, pretty sure her husband lost his job a few months back, hardly ever see him leave the house these days" he'd told her with a sigh. Joel did notice these things, the cul de-sac was small and from what he knew about the couple across the street, which was very little at this point, was that she was a pastry chef and he worked in IT. His car was hardly ever on the driveway before, now? It barely moves.

"No dad... You didn't hear the way he spoke to her, you didn't see her face when he came out, it was like someone flipped a switch. She looked so--" There's a pause as she tries to find the right word. "Dejected".

///

April 29th, 2003.

It's early in the morning when you're sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, pounding head propped up in your hand as you're going through the overdue bills spread out across it, unable to sleep thinking about everything. These days that's literal. The clock on the stove reads 5.25am. 

The big red lettering seems to deepen the splitting headache, feeling like someone's taking an axe to your head right now.  'OVERDUE - DO NOT IGNORE.' 

Hard to ignore that. Not that you're trying, but right now you're doing the math to try and work out what you can cut back on to be able to pay these things off and at every turn you're always short for something. Maybe you can pick up some extra shifts at the restaurant... Or become a part time stripper, they make good money, right? 

A heavy sigh leaves you as you scrub a hand down your face, picking up the steaming cup of herbal tea next to you, lifting it to your lips. "You'd better solve all my problems" you're pretty sure you're going insane mumbling that to an inanimate object but seeing the words 'Stress relieving' on the box in the supermarket, may have given you false hope. 

It's not until a couple of hours later that you realise how long you've been sat at the counter for, hearing heavy footsteps descending the creaky wooden stairs, another thing that needs to be fixed, more money you don't have right now. 

Immediately you feel yourself tense up, he's up early today, you think to yourself. These days you never really see Matt before 11am. Not since he was laid off a few months back, the company was downsizing, moving out of Texas altogether infact, so his only choices were to either take severance or travel out of state for work, something that even with his salary and yours, it wouldn't have been affordable. 

He took the first option. The severance pay hadn't lasted long at all, you'd lived a comfortable life before that but the second you knew he was losing his job you did the responsible thing and gave up the things that weren't necessary. Gym membership, jogging was free anyway. The once a month manicure, it didn't cost a lot but you could live without it. You started grocery shopping at a cheaper supermarket and found that actually you were being ripped off the whole time before anyway, everything was great quality and budget friendly, silver linings and all that. 

And then there was your morning coffee, from your favourite little family run coffee place just around the corner from work. You missed it and the warm greetings you'd get going in there, they knew you by name and now? Ugh.

The shitty instant coffee at work just wasn't the same but at least it was free.

But it's what you have to do, right? As a responsible adult. 

Well, try telling that to your husband. Despite him being the one who's lost his job, he's not sacrificed much. The cigarettes, but you tell yourself that's justifiable, they help with stress relief. He still goes out to the bar once a week to meet up with his old high school buddies, they clearly didn't know how far his drinking habit has gone, or maybe they did and they were encouraging it. You hoped not.

Most recently he's taken up another hobby, one you're not particularly fond of in all honesty but of course, you can't say anything. Mail order porn. 

You have nothing against porn, it's part of most people's sex lives and these days it's natural with the rise of the Internet, there are websites for these things now which is actually kind of crazy to think about. When you were a teenager, there was one particular channel on the family TV that if you angled the ariel just right you were pretty sure you could see tits. Or maybe that was an ass? It was too fuzzy to tell.

Still, seeing that charge on the credit card statement was a shocker. You went over old statements to make sure you weren't imagining things and nope, you weren't, it was a new charge, a new subscription. $49.99 a month for mail order porn, a website called 'Bangforyourbuck.com'. A double innuendo, tasteful. 

That kind of pissed you off, yes he'd been the one to lose his job and yes he was stressed but you were stressed too. You're the one keeping everything afloat these days, paying all the bills on one Salary, cutting back on things. Meanwhile he's adding to both your stress and the monthly outgoings. The thought of saying anything about it though? That would be like offering yourself up to a firing squad.

And god forbid one of you gets sick now, he was the one with the good insurance. That's long gone.

A gruff "Hey" pulls you out of your thoughts as he rounds the corner and you force a smile. 

"Morning sweetie. You're up early" You find yourself watching your tone a lot these days, constantly walking on eggshells. Even what you just said 'You're up early' you made sure you didn't say it in a way that sounded too surprised to see him this side of the morning, incase he took offence. 

He yanks open the refrigerator and grabs a carton of orange juice from the door, twisting the cap off before he takes a large gulp straight from the source. You hate that, oh my god you hate that so much. You want to yell 'Get a fucking glass!' but you don't, you can't. 

"Yeah. I've got a thing today" very cryptic. When does he ever have a 'thing' these days? "What are you doing?" he asks as he comes to stand behind you, peering over your shoulder at the overdue bills, just looming there. Gone are the days when this would have sent a little thrill up your spine at the prospect of being bent over the same counter for a quickie before you both part ways and go to work with matching smiles on your faces. Now it just makes you go cold, waiting for the next thing to set him off. 

"I couldn't sleep so, just trying to figure out where we can cut back a little. I uh. I was thinking, actually-"

"Were you? That's rare." First jab of the day, you know it's meant as an insult, there's no banter behind it. 

"Uh yeah. Actually. W-what about if...Since you don't need your car right now for work we sell it and you can borrow mi--" 

"Are you fucking insane?" Here we go. He takes a small step back from you, enough for you to turn in your seat to face him, shoulders slumped, eyes cast down into your lap, like a child about to be scolded. "No, no fucking way are we selling my car, I wouldn't be seen dead in that shit heap you drive around. Besides, I'll need it soon anyway, I've got a job interview today, that's why I'm up, gotta get into the city for 9.30. Gotta make a good impression, wouldn't do that if I showed up in what you drive"

"That's great honey..." You muster up false enthusiasm from somewhere, plastering a sweet smile on your face as you look at him, the man you were so in love with once, you fell in love with everything about him, you loved to run your fingers through his hair, you loved the way it curled when it was damp, you loved how lost in his icy blue you could get and how dark they could go when the two of you would be intimate. Now? Nothing.

There's nothing as you look at him, a few short months changed the way you saw him. He wasn't like this before, you could have missed some sighs maybe? No, you're pretty sure he was perfect. Wasn't he? He only drank socially before, now he needs no excuse for it.

"Yeah it is, as for this?" He gestures to the bills on the counter behind you. "Figure it the fuck out, that's your job. Use a fucking calculator if your dumbass can't work it out." You hate the way your eyes mist up and you know he sees it, he just doesn't care. "I need to go shower and get ready" He mumbles, stalking back out of the kitchen, leaving you alone, silently crying as you turn back to face the bills, big red letter staring back at you. 'OVERDUE - DO NOT IGNORE.'

///

Standing on the driveway a little before 9am, you're waving him off as he's pulling away to go to his interview. God you hope he gets it, for multiple reasons. 

As you're watching his car disappear around the corner, your neighbour across the street is rounding it in his truck, probably back from taking his daughter to school.

You never see any women coming and going surprisingly, Joel is a handsome guy, you might be married but you're not blind, after all. You thought he'd at least be dating, but maybe he's too busy for it, being a single dad, doing the work he does with all the long hours. Still, he seems like a nice guy, but you thought your husband was a nice guy too, so maybe you're just a shitty judge of character these days. 

It's not until he's getting out of his truck that you realise you're day dreaming again, snapping yourself out of it, about to head back inside when-

"Mornin'." He calls from across the street and you almost think he's talking to someone else but when he says your name and starts to cross the street? Oh, he is talking to you. This is new. 

"Uh hi? How's things?" Be less awkward, Matts not here, he won't see you out here talking to him. You know he doesn't like Joel, you're pretty sure it's a petty male jealousy thing. Matt is good looking of course, you thought he was the hottest man on the planet at one point. But Joel's taller, he's got that dark and brooding thing going on, he works with his hands, he's a little older than you but it seems like he's reaching that mid thirties sweetspot. Oh my god stop mentally ogling the neighbour. Christ it's been a while since you got laid hasnt it? 

He stops at your mailbox, resting his palm flat against it, dressed in dusty work boots, dark washed denim jeans that fit just right, a navy blue and white flannel on with buttons undone and a dark grey tee underneath. "Yeah, yeah things are good. Sarah made those brownies again last week, you know, with the recipe you gave her?" That little grin of his is dangerous, making him more handsome than he already is, but you can't help the way you smile back because of it. 

"Oh yeah? And what's the verdict?" 

"Like a little slice of heaven. I'd eat that for breakfast, lunch and dinner if she'd let me." 

That draws a genuine chuckle from you, he's never heard your laugh before, but honestly? He finds himself wanting to hear it more and he can't even tell if it's for selfish reasons or not.

"So uh" he starts, shifting awkwardly on his feet, wondering how the fuck you're supposed to bring this up? He can't just outright ask if you're having marital problems. He doesn't know you and you don't know him, after all. "Matt is it? That's your husband, right?" 

You try to hide the way your expression falls at the mention of his name, a weak smile on your face, but your body language gives it all away, the subtle gulp, the awkward shift of your feet, the way you cross your arms as if it were a barrier over your already broken heart. 

"Yeah?" 

"You and Matt. The two of you doing okay?" 

"Why wouldn't we be?" You start to get defensive slightly, even if you don't mean to. 

"Listen--" he takes a small step closer, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. "I'm not tryin' to stick my nose in where its not wanted but Sarah thought somethin' was off when she saw you a couple weeks ago and Jimmy-" Jimmy Cooper, the guy with the loud ass dog a few doors down from you "-Well he thought he heard yellin' a few nights ago and--"

A scoff leaves you before you can even think about it."So what? We argue, married couples argue. It's normal, it doesn't warrent being gossiped about!" Where is this fire when your husbands talking to you like shit? You know the' argument' in question, it was just him yelling at you for an hour straight because he has misplaced something, you can't even remember what now because your brain was too fried from being at work all day, coming home to your living room basically being tipped upside down as he's on a rampage looking for it. It hadn't even occurred to you until later on that night, after you'd finished putting the living room back together that the window had been open and that perhaps the entire fucking state had heard everything. 

"Darlin', Jimmy wasn't gossiping trust me, I don't listen to idle gossip anyways, he was genuinely concerned, I'm genuinely concerned. The things he said he heard--" There's that same look, the one you saw on Sarah's face a few weeks back, pity. 

"I'm sorry but I missed the part where my marriage is any of your fucking business" You snap, wondering where the hell this woman is hiding. "Thanks for the 'concern' but I don't need it. Have a good day Joel." You say hotly, turning on your heel to head back inside, the door slamming a little harder than you intended behind you. 

"God dammit" Joel mutters, running a hand through his dark waves in exasperation. 

And then he clocks it, the trash can on your driveway, separate to general household waste, lid slightly askew. Full to the brim with empty beer bottles.

///

This wasn't going to be something he could just leave alone, was it? 

[whosthere54]

Ok ok ok Royal au Royal au ararararah

now to yap about my Royal au cause I’m normal. (Longer post- I just infodump about my AU basically-)

So what I have in drafts is all mainly brothers or prison duo centric, as if you know my fics I usually write from Icarus’s perspective on things. The main ships I would be focusing on are ghaae, nightingstar, Wolftross, and then prison duo- but I have cameos of all of the cannon ships of course. I’m gonna kind of just go through and explain roles of my main guys tho- so hope you like this as a sort of starting summary? I guess?

Icarus is the crown prince of the gilded kingdom. Basically the other full representative of the overworld who’s not Fable. Basically, they are heir to the throne, have to maintain a public image, help Fable out with royal duties and pretty much prepare to be the next monarch to ensure a smooth transition if “mortal king Fable” passes away. (He can’t die- I’ll get to that maybe- but yknow. God.)

I’ll talk about Isla and things later in this post, so I won’t mention it now- but yeah. Icarus is the only heir to the gilded kingdom.

Centross is Icarus’s bodyguard (yes I’m going down that road for the prison duo content. I’m so unpredictable /silly/sarc/lh) Royal guard? Close enough probably. Which- idk if I have to get into what he does. I think you can assume. Protection stuff. He was a former assassin, having used to work with Enderian. I’m doing a cliche maybe- but- yknow- he was sent to kill Icarus, ended up unable to do so… so now he’s a bodyguard for them instead of going back to Enderian. (There’s probably a promise of mutual protection somewhere- I’m sure Icarus would not have let Fable give them a bodyguard before then, and when he did they’d make it everyone’s problem- instead wanting to prove they could protect themself. There’s something there. Yeah.)

Wolftross is yes a thing, I think they were probably together for a while- maybe not long after he first became a royal guard. At Icarus’s request, he can visit Fenris whenever he wants probably. Easton replaces him when he’s gone (even after he became blind- at Icarus’s request he will continue that role. They trust him- and he’s capable.)

In the one thing I wrote, I gave him end features as well. I’m moreso debating on that- but I think it’d be a cool thing as a byproduct of being one of Enderian’s closest advisors and trusted assasin. Or- I give them to him later when he gets to be god. He gets them at some point- for me.

Rae is the crown prince of the end kingdom- full representative of the end that is not Enderian. I’d think she gives him more freedom than Icarus gets from fable, her being the end mother she is. She did have the same I guess cruel past that she does in cannon- I’m trying to figure out how I’m translating s1 into this AU still, and maybe you’ll get a oneshot of that eventually. Atleast the prison arc- of course. He left the gilded kingdom (either with Isla, or later on his own I have drafts for. But- probably with Isla) and lived with Isla for a bit- she runs for help from soul and things like in cannon and she helps hide them for a bit. Though- Isla ends up having Rae stay with Enderian. She probably stays as long as she can without compermising Rae’s safety, but maybe gets caught by Fable eventually.

Fenris is Rae’s bodyguard. He is a former general for the Nether’s army, just like in cannon. (I have to rewatch some of his lore before confidently talking about how he gets to become Rae’s bodyguard, so I’m sorry I won’t have too much info at the moment <3)

He becomes Rae’s bodyguard later- Enderian probably heard of his reputation as “the wolf” and hired him. (May try to include the wolf arc- but am again, trying to figure out how to integrate it.)

Now- basic plot summary? Something of the sort? Yeah. Some random details too cause I have no one train of thought ever and am just writing whatever I think of down. /lh

So for some backstory- Islas story is basically the same as in lore. But it changes for that bit after Rae was born just to adhere to the different circumstances Royal AU brings to the table. So, Rae grows a bit before Isla takes him and runs in this AU- he’s older, couldn’t tell you how old (age is a lie/silly/j) but just. A child. She notices how he’s being treated by Fable, takes him and leaves. She doesn’t take Icarus. There’s a lot of consideration for that fact- of course there is. Their her child. But- they’re not close, Fable makes sure of that. They spend most of their time with him, and their his heir after all. Their disappearance would be the worst to explain. So she doesn’t take them with her.

She takes Rae, and over the course of a few years- stays in a sort of safe house like in cannon, learns the things she does there, goes to soul for help, all that stuff. But she ends up taking Rae to Enderian, he becomes crown prince. She stays with them until it compromises Rae’s safety. Fable finds her, she doesn’t give away that she’d stayed with Enderian and that stays secret for a long time. Fable finds her, messes with her memories and things (he’s messed with Icarus’s too at this point- probably erasing Rae entirely) end she goes into a coma. He locks her away, Icarus doesn’t even know she’s here- and ends up having no memories of her anyways. Only fable knows where she’s locked away. Some tower in the castle sleeping beauty style probably.

Rae grows up in the end kingdom, Icarus grows up in the overworld.

Rae meets Caspian in the end prison- advocating for his freedom and things. He gets him a place in the end kingdom, and they get together at a peaceful festival in the overworld. That is an annual festival- Rae meets aax and takes her there too. He and Cas talk- and probably end up asking Aax out there too- making a whole day out of it probably. It’s a tradition for them, after all.

Aax lives with Cas, and Rae stays with them on weekends? Mayhaps? Something like that. He’s allowed to visit them whenever.

I like to think maybe Cas helps Athena and Bruin run the bakery on occasion. Bed and breakfast. Idk. Rae is definelty still the taste tester on Aax safe foods. And also a waiter on opening day for multiple reasons- one, it’s funny- two, yknow. Royal press. Media(?) purposes. Yknow what I mean hopefully.

Also- end kingdom I think had parts in the overworld and end? Like- overworld has the stronghold portal as the center and then made a kingdom around that, and then there’s an end part of the kingdom. This was probably a result of a peace treaty Isla had led years before between the realms after the war. Because badass mother deserves it. But to explain that- yeah. I think the Nether doesn’t- but has a trading hub spreading through portals and things. Yknow. Just not kingdom- I think the overworld is still more cold to people from the nether so. No kingdom. But portals can be made anywhere instead of having just one like the end, so that makes sense.

Gilded kingdom is just the biggest kingdom in the overworld areas we know- as Fable is the god of creation. I just have cool ideas for kingdom designs. May build them in Minecraft actually who knows- (if I do I will in fact post the pictures)

The Aether kingdom was a thing for souls and stuff as it was in cannon, but fell the same way. Alerion and Will live peacefully in one of the overworld kingdoms living normal lives away from everything, as they deserve.

A lot of the fable characters probably lives in the overworld, and just travel between realms.

Athena’s house probably has an area like his lab, where half is in the overworld and half is in the nether. If not, maybe their bed and breakfast- or atleast she has some nether bakery locations maybe with nether specific treats! Cause I think they deserve it and I just think it’d be cool.

Will has a cartographers shop in his village- like a cartographer villager type thing.

Rae has his archives he runs in his kingdom, there are two- one in the overworld part and one in the nether.

Starbarks definelty exists, does Fenris cannonly in this AU run all of the businesses he runs in actual cannon? Probably not. Do they exist? Probably.

Ven works as a close advisor for Fable, and Ari is hired as a knight or general of a sort for fable. Maybe more like a spy. Cat scratch records exist probably.

The world sisters do exist, most likely- (logistically if this was like a alternate “fable raises Icarus AU” they probably wouldn’t but I can do what I want and I say they’re here cause I love them- /silly)

Addie- Addie idk- maybe they work on like a night shift for the archives? Or like as an intern.

Ulysses- idk where to put Ulysses. Oh you silly fish man you. I will incorporate all the telchin stuff, definetly, I think just think of the cannon lore for that one.

Also- Quixis is there somewhere. Probably not in the same way for plot- but gotta include them in every au somehow /silly

Yeah. Royal AU. I’m eepy so I shut up- but hope you like my rambling ig idk-

I didn’t realize y’all enjoyed this au that much- I appreciate all the excitement about it /gen tehe <3

[yurislotusgarden]

Relationship hc's

ʚїɞ Nakahara Chuuya x Gn!Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ Dazai's version

ʚїɞ word count: 1425

ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just pure fluff, pet names are used, reader’s gender is not specified in any way

ཐིཋྀ I love this man

ཐིཋྀ Anyway

ཐིཋྀ We all know he would be a gentleman to you <3

ཐིཋྀ Whether you live together or not, there's always a bouquet of your favorite flowers in a vase somewhere. Once they show even a small sign of dying he replaces them

ཐིཋྀ You still aren't sure how he knows about the flowers starting to wilt even when he's in another part of Japan or even another fucking country

ཐིཋྀ This man does both fancy and casual types of dates. Prefers fancy ones tho

ཐིཋྀ "Why have so much money and not use it to spoil the shit out of the love of my life?" <--- Chuuya wanting to spoil the fuck out of you all the time

ཐིཋྀ You probably live together after quite a short amount of time, like less than 8 months kind of short

ཐིཋྀ He's just so worried about your safety :(

ཐིཋྀ Both generally and because of his position as an executive

ཐིཋྀ You don't mind tho, don't lie to yourself

ཐིཋྀ Protective. Not overprotective but it's definitely up there on the scale. Kinda justified though

ཐིཋྀ Possessive mf

ཐིཋྀ Again, you don't mind as it's not to the point of being controlling and shit

ཐིཋྀ If you're in the PM, he still worries, just a little less since he knows you can take care of yourself

ཐིཋྀ If you're not an executive, you work under him for sure. Chuuya requested a change (if you weren't under him from the start) as soon as he realized this funny feeling he gets around you is love <3

ཐིཋྀ You know Dazai. No questions asked or doubt

ཐིཋྀ I saw around some time ago that someone wrote that Dazai breaks into wherever Chuuya lives. I’m sure it ain’t canon so just saying I very much hc him doing that

ཐིཋྀ You can see what I’m getting at, you probably met because of Dazai breaking into your guys' place😭

ཐིཋྀ Imagine you're cooking or something and hear someone in the house (Dazai doesn't try to hide he's there since he thinks Chuuya's home because of the light in the kitchen), thinking it's Chuuya you go to greet him before realizing  it's not him but someone else-

ཐིཋྀ "Who are you and why are you here?"

ཐིཋྀ "Those should be my questions asshole!"

ཐིཋྀ "The fuck you mean?"

ཐིཋྀ "I live here? You literally broke into my house!"

ཐིཋྀ "You live here? But it's the slugs house isn't it? Did I break into the wrong place???" He knows he didn't

ཐིཋྀ "Wait 'slugs'-"

ཐིཋྀ You totally didn't realize who Dazai is because of that nickname, nope. Chuuya didn't complain about a mackerel at all no-

ཐིཋྀ That was literally yall's first convo

ཐིཋྀ Dazai standing like he should be there, and you standing there with a gun pointed at him (that you have from Chuuya because he has weapons all over the house just in case anyway. That one was in the kitchen)

ཐིཋྀ You guys proceeded to talk like you guys knew each other for years until the ginger came home and flipped the fuck out at the sight

ཐིཋྀ He thought you would have a peaceful life by not knowing the stack of bandages

ཐིཋྀ And to the gingers' chagrin, you and the brunette ended up being good friends

ཐིཋྀAs to who knows about yall depends on who you are

ཐིཋྀ If you're in the PM, most if not all will know at some point

ཐིཋྀ Mori would probably not do anything about it as long as it doesn't affect your guys' performance on missions

ཐིཋྀ If you're a civilian, the people who know about you are the people he's the closest to and Mori somehow finds out

ཐིཋྀ Kouyou adores you if you share at least some interests and you don't mind being friends with mafiosos (basically not judging them just because of their work)

ཐིཋྀ You guys drink tea together. Even if you don't like tea, she managed to find one that you like

ཐིཋྀ Even if you don't share interests, she will have nothing against you as long as you ain't hurting Chuuya

ཐིཋྀ Akutagawa siblings know for sure, you basically adopted them LMAO

ཐིཋྀ You and Gin go shopping together, sometimes tugging Ryu around against his will with yall

ཐིཋྀ I mentioned Mori, he at first didn't care if the relationship didn't change anything and Chuuya was as efficient as normally

ཐིཋྀ But Elise met you in the city by accident and decided she likes you and deemed you her friend, so Moto “asked” you to play with her from time to time

ཐིཋྀ Goodluck if you're a low-energy person

ཐིཋྀ If you're in the PM and Elise wants to Play with you, you are for sure a little bit safer around Mori

ཐིཋྀ He doesn't want to deal with her whining and throwing a tantrum if he doesn't have to, so if you not being killed will make Elise happy, he won't do it

ཐིཋྀ Going back to the topic

ཐིཋྀ Rides on his motorcycle with you holding him tightly from behind right?

ཐིཋྀ Mf rides faster than necessary just because he likes it when you squeeze his waist because you think you will fall off

ཐིཋྀ He won't let you but oh well

ཐིཋྀ Similar to Dazai, man has got a grip of steel, so good luck getting up from his lap, cuddling, or in the morning if he won't want you to. We all know he ain’t weak, not in the slightest

ཐིཋྀ Would teach you self-defense if you don't already know it. He for sure doesn’t complain at having to do that, the view he gets is quite pretty y’know? You can say the same about your view :)

ཐིཋྀ This is purely a hc of mine but he would teach you French if you will ask him!!!

ཐིཋྀ Yes I'm one of those who hc that Chuuya either generally knows French due to Kouyou teaching him and Dazai, or he has some French genetics and wanted to just learn it either way taught by Kouyou LMAO

ཐིཋྀ Hope you aren’t weak to French because he can and will flirt with you in it <3

ཐིཋྀ If you are tho, knees? Weak. Nonexistent. Goodbye.

ཐིཋྀ Mister here will use it to his advantage. He knows what he’s doing and he ain’t stopping

ཐིཋྀ If you know a language he doesn't, he will gladly learn it just to speak in it with you. Especially if you're a foreigner, he certainly will learn your native tongue at one point. But, if you know a language he doesn't just because you wanted to know it, he learns it anyway

ཐིཋྀ Another way to shit-talk people without their knowledge <33

“I'm so lucky to be dating your pretty ass”

“I don't understand, doll. Say it in a language I can understand.”

“No, I don't think so, pretty boy”

“Are you cussing me out or something?”

ཐིཋྀ ^You talking to Chuuya in your language before he knew it to confuse him

ཐིཋྀ He was indeed confused

ཐིཋྀ Speaking of hc’s, heterochromia Chuuya <3

ཐིཋྀ You love his eyes, one blue and one brown. You fluster him because of just staring at his eyes and at him generally

ཐིཋྀ He lets you play with his hair, style, and all

ཐིཋྀ It's so soft you considered stealing his hair stuff when you first run your hands through it

ཐིཋྀ He wouldn't mind, wouldn't even try to stop you. Would probably encourage it actually

ཐིཋྀ It's playing into his possessiveness 

ཐིཋྀ This man has style, we know that. He also happens to have a big closet with his clothes :)

ཐིཋྀ Want a Chuuya-looking puddle on the floor? Wear. His. Clothes.

ཐིཋྀ The ginger will literally die if he comes home to you wearing his clothes. Anything. Wear anything and you will spot a wild Chuuya puddle in its natural habitat the floor

ཐིཋྀ AND IF YOU ASK HIM IF YOU CAN WEAR HIS STUFF WHILE EMBARRASSED???

ཐིཋྀ You make him want to sob :(

ཐིཋྀ Happily of course

ཐིཋྀ Use his shower stuff like shampoo and walk around in his clothes

ཐིཋྀ It does things to him

ཐིཋྀ Both fluffy and unholy thoughts are in this man's head if you’re just wearing his stuff

“Doll, you can’t do this to me.”

“Huh?”

ཐིཋྀ You’re either genuinely confused by his words or playing with him

ཐིཋྀ It ends the same anyways :) 

ཐིཋྀ “Take my card and go crazy, love.”

ཐིཋྀ ^Chuuya on any occasion

ཐིཋྀ If he could he would spend his money on you, he would but you always stop him

ཐིཋྀ Therefore that’s Chuuya on any occasion because he has an excuse for it

ཐིཋྀ Price tag? What’s that?

ཐིཋྀ It doesn’t exist in his eyes, you are worth every single penny in his wallet <3

ཐིཋྀ You guys have spa days at home

ཐིཋྀ Share skin care routines if you can

Notes, comments, reblogs and anything else is greatly appreciated

[omgshiftercat]

BG3 Blogging: Could this guy be a vampire? Nah, he's just a cat.

Now that I'm playing as Karlach rather than Astarion, WOW that vampire cannot help dropping hints by the dozen about what he is. The rest of the group must be thinking, "If this guy weren't walking around in direct sunlight, I'd swear he's a vampire."

The vibe:

During my Origin Astarion run, back at the crashed nautiloid I was like, "Ooh, I have a bite attack? CHOMP!" and that triggered the reveal dialogue with Shadowheart. No waiting around.

🐇: Part of the Vampiric Drama Compulsion includes dropping hints that you are a vampire.

Though there's also this: Astarion: Have you ever heard of a vampire lord named Cazador? Wyll: Not ringing any bells. Gale: Head of the Szarr family. Nasty piece of work, if the histories are to be believed. Astarion: (quietly) They likely are.

(Note: some dialogue might not be word-perfect, since I'm often going from memory.)

Now musing on how much of that "drop broad hints that you are a bloodsucker" thing is Vampire Drama Instinct and how much might have developed as a covert attempt to alert someone, anyone, about what he is without going against the Purple Man levels of control that a master vampire has over their spawn. "No, master, I have no idea how the monster hunters figured out that I'm a spawn and therefore there must be a vampire lord in the city somewhere!"

This explains why the boar carcass is still in the middle of the road: he only has 8 strength.

My friend 🦀 explained he'd been playing a wizard Tav with the attitude of, "I've had a very bad month. Everyone gets ONE chance. Threaten me at your peril," which meant that a few key NPCs got immediately nuked by fire spells... including Astarion. (Lae'zel lived, partly due to what was almost certainly the Dream Guardian's direct interference.)

Me: Just think of him as a cat who somehow acquired elven form and passed the Baldur's Gate bar exam. 🦀: 😆👍!

...I mean. It's not just that he's so frequently drawn as a cat. Or that he approves of showing proper deference to His Majesty, and disapproves of telling Tara not to eat pigeons. As a cat owner, I can confirm that "tries very hard to seem cool and dignified, but in fact has zero chill and is prone to comical overreaction" is a frequent feline trait.

(Also, if you pass your Perception check, you don't even have to do the thing where you calm the hissy cat by not pulling away when he sticks his claws into you.)

And yeah... people (including me) go on about this, but it's worth it to treat Astarion like a half-feral cat in need of proper socialization (and the occasional spritz with a holy water bottle) because the acting and dialogue for his story is So. Damn. Amazing.

A friend who hadn't yet seen Avatar: the Last Airbender got tired of hearing all the fan-babble about Zuko.

I think a lot of us feel kind of starved for redemption stories that are actually well-written? Like, so often we get heel-face turns that just feel very sudden and unearned (looking at you, Kylo Ren). And, well, I have a lot of bad feelings about the way "forgiveness" is so often presented as 1. compulsory and 2. more important than, if not an outright replacement for, accountability.

For a long time, it looked like they were going to do one of those sudden HFTs with Catra in She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, and I was actually glad that they kept her a baddie for so long! When they finally had her change sides, she'd had to hit rock bottom, and I got the impression that her progress wasn't completely finished at the end of the series.

So much media doesn't want to address stuff like, "extended trauma may turn someone into more of a prickly asshole than a smol bean", "someone on the path to rehabilitation may sometimes backslide", and "sometimes the best you'll get from a character is 'morally grey'."

[skinscals]

I've struggled with binging my whole life. Now I've managed to lose almost 21lbs and more is coming off. I'd like to share some things I've used when I'm feeling like binging!

1. I WANT TO BINGE

It causes me legit anxiety when I get the urge to eat. Sometimes it's something specific, sometimes it can be moldy bread I have already. But if you feel like you want the food RN, think that you can always go and get it. Just, wait 10 minutes, if you really need it, it's okay, you can always go out and buy it. The food ain't gonna disappear anywhere. This mindset brings me kind of peace.

If you're feeling hungry but you've just eaten, drink water. Also remember to take your vitamins and supplements. If you have huge deficiency on those things your body may start sending hunger cues. If you lack vitamins, your body craves sugar etc.

2. I ALREADY STARTED BINGING

And you can stop it! You've already had a taste, right? You want to keep binging because you know how awesome it tastes. Brush your teeth and get the flavors out of your mouth! It helps! I use this all the time! I already started on my chocolate cake, I brush the taste off! It's the taste that keeps us wanting more!

3. I BINGED...

It feels like it's the end of the world... You hate yourself, so you decide that now on you start restricting even more, right? Please dont. Hold yourself accountable but do not punish yourself. If you binge, you probably have some mental issues you cope with food. Thinking about your binge too much creates panic and stress and self hatred, which causes you to binge again. Don't put any more mental load on yourself.

WHAT CAN I DO TO PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING?!

Take it from someone, who has struggled with this their whole life!

- Don't restrict too much. The cycle between binging and restricting will never end...

- When you eat, instead of focusing on how low cal it is, focus on will it make you full? If you eat 200 low cal stuff, and it won't make you full, you'll binge another 1000kcal in one sitting. Instead, focus on protein and nutrients and, Will this make me full? If it doesn't, they're stupid empty calories you ate for, uhm, for fun. If it does, you ate something to survive and keep your engine running. Be clever!

- If you use food as a coping mechanism or as a reward or anything, I feel you. This one's tricky, because coping mechanisms are important and you can't really take them away once they're learned. It's hard, and we may replace them with something more harmful and dangerous. Try things. Personally I find going on walks very effective. I listen Ed stuff or my favorite songs. If I feel very shitty, I may run until I can't breathe. And every time I feel better when I come home. I still use food sometimes, but now I have another option as well. Please, try things!

- if you crave something very specific let's say, chocolate, instead of forbidding it from yourself, buy a little bar of chocolate. Maybe even every day (count it's calories tho!) If you forbid something from yourself, you'll want it even more. And, guess what, binge on it. Which is better, one 200kcal bar of chocolate or 1200kcal chocolate bar? Between the two bad choices, pick the one that's less bad.

- Find replacement foods. If you crave chocolate for example, find something similar but healthier. I use protein bars. They're filling and chocolate! I won't be craving more after 1 or 2 and it's still better than eating the whole 1200kcal bar!

- Learn to love yourself now. Or even like. If that's too hard, please have even some respect for yourself. It's been studied that If you get negative encouragement, you'll probably fail but if you get positive encouragement you'll more likely succeed in what you're doing!

- Write your feelings and goals down somewhere and come back to them when you feel like binging!

- Remember that you're not perfect. If you have binging problem, you will binge in the future. But as you learn on the way, you'll binge less and less and one day you'll notice, that the last time you relapsed was 6 months ago. It's a journey as well. Learn from it.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask anything! I hope these would help even one person. You got this.

Stay safe, love life and focus on your goals! 💕 You're amazing and you deserve to live happily!

[josnhoes]

Hi Hun! I know it's been a while since I sent an ask, but reading your knak au stuff has got it stuck in my head now too. Do you have any headcanons for Halsin from BG3 with knak reader? Thank you so much in advance! 😘

I'm sorry this took so long to get to bestie ilu tho

Warnings: mentions of dead animals/ animal death in tones of getting food and natural causes. Hints of yandere but it's mostly over protective papa bear activity.

Halsin started out feeling uncomfortable having such a small child with the group. But at the same time he doesn't really have a say on who is in the party at all. At least you seemed okay with everything.

It took a month for that uncomfortable feeling to go away and be replaced with a need to have you close. He was a worry wort. While he did think it was important kids be kids and learn of dangers naturally; that protective instinct he had was in overdrive. Somewhere in that month he had gotten attached, and now his lectures of nature being a good teacher for a child he gave to a few over protective druids felt hollow. He finally understood the whole 'you'll know when you have one of your own' was actually an ancient curse. Because he understood now.

It didn't help his heart that despite being well meaning and kind, you thrived in chaos and making it. Luckily the chaos you make is playful...mostly. He doesn't *blame* you for your curiosity, but please stop experimenting with your magic so much.

Luckily the stress wasn't constant, as fit as he was much more stress and he may just pass away. He said as much once to the group and you burst into tears because you didn't want him to die.

He felt so guilty making you cry he really did. Enough that he let you 'guard' him from danger for a full week. You playing mother hen to him during that time was adorable and helped his attachment grow.

Unbeknownst to Halsin you knew what you were doing post tear fit and that his comment was a joke. Yes you were playing around being the mother hen and such; but those tears had been real from a build up of stress and the thought of one of your party dying was just too much. (Bonus the time Gale mentioned blowing himself up as an option you forbade it and promised you'd knock him out if he tried)

Halsin takes pride in teaching you how to survive. While he doesn't plan on leaving you alone in the wild, it was better safe then sorry. Plus he couldn't help but imagine when all was said and done the two of you moving into the grove;so it was imperative you knew those skills.

He takes you hunting often. Each trip is spent learning. From gathering, survival, and actually hunting. His archery is rusty since usually he hunts as a bear... so Astarion had to step in at the beginning to teach.

You asked him why you couldn't just magic at them. And that lead to a full debate on what counts as an act of nature. Because apparently you had to hunt fairly to preserve the balance..but also magic was *natural* and nature gave you the gift so shouldn't you using it be nature's will? Animals didn't complain of the unfairness in predators and that was natural advantages so you should be fine.

He did *not* enjoy that talk. It left him questioning a few too many things. Not to mention seeing you all fired up got the camp interested. More opinions were added and you had a defense squad. Eventually just to get out of the topic he claimed magic killed meat tasted funny. Which you were ready to accept until *Gale* interjected with the fact that wasn't always true and that magics left unique flavors based on type. Suddenly you were insistent again and needed to taste the magic. So another attempted to dissuade you began. A side which he was alone on.

Speaking of magic Halsin was terrified by the amount of power you had. How differently your magic worked, and the debate on if you could learn the magic here with out danger. But that was only because he wanted to teach you to become a druid. He wouldn't force it on you but he would make a strong argument for it though. That argument being if you learn you can talk to cats and become an animal. What kid doesn't want to be some form of animal? It's a very strong argument.

Yes he knows being a druid is far more then that, but you could learn the details after you started learning. Halsin knew that was a bit messed up but he was allowed to be selfish a little right? Besides you'd only benefit from the knowledge.

He hasn't seriously brought it up yet only dropping hints and seeing your reactions. Spoiler you don't want to follow what's basically a religion but still wanted to be an animal. So you hijinks-ed and got the ability.

He loves spending time with you as animals. One time you both went out as bears to learn to navigate as an animals. Your small cub form nearly made him coo. Best night of his life emotionally. Him and his child out enjoying nature with no worries living like the animals.

You are his kid and while he won't force you to call him dad or anything but he's going to look after you. Besides wasn't this entire group a just an odd pack anyway? Practically family.

Halsin basically is co-parenting with Astarion and Gale at this point. The others are more aunts, and uncles; with a big brother (Wyll) included in the mess.

[noroi1000]

"Have you ever thought about children ?" huh 🌚 that was a lil freaky of you gojo but honestly i feel like reader doesn't necessarily dislike kids ( except the bratty n disrespectful ones ) and she wouldn't mind having them either even tho she's not very enthusiastic about having kids but author-chan we deserve a smut continuation of this you can't just leave us or gojo being needy af hanging like that 🥺

I don't love him, but I want to be with him 4

A/n: I wrote this yesterday, but I want to go sleep, sorry. Don't be angry if you wait for this long.

Words: over 2k

Warnings: smut (masturbation, sex toys, porn watching, breeding)

"Have you ever thought about children?"

Yes…

You started thinking about it…

He is your husband after all…

Even if the baby might be the result of love or chance, you thought about it.

So the fact that you will have children will not be a coincidence.

Because you already thought about it…

And it is also not possible that your children, if you ever have them, will be the result of your love.

You don't love him…

You're happy with him, but you don't love him…

Even if he said he fell in love with you…

You still have the feeling that one day your happiness with him may end…

So all you thought about was that if you had a family with him, maybe your happiness would last a lot longer.

If he asked about children, maybe you have a chance that when you have a child with him, you can smile a lot longer.

You don't want him to replace you. That's why you're desperate not to be lonely. You liked him and life with him. And even though it's the mafia, you liked his behavior which is more childish…

If you had had a child with him, you would have had him as your husband for much longer…

As you walked down the sidewalk with your small shopping bag, you looked around.

And it happened everything that often happens in movies or books…

You turned your head to see a baby shop…

Out of curiosity, you went inside.

Maybe you can convince yourself of this…

You saw a few people inside.

Pregnant woman with a man browsing strollers and cots.

And also another couple, but already with a pram who are looking at baby clothes.

You went in there with no baby either in the stroller or inside you.

You've seen those tiny clothes and stuff. It looked lovely.

Maybe a baby would be a good idea after all…

You don't have to worry about whether you can live. Satoru runs a powerful mafia. His money is so much that you could have it all.

You will also get support from Him… All you would have to do is go to bed with him (even though you do it anyway, sometimes more and sometimes less).

In order for you to have a child, all you have to do is get pregnant.

And you don't have to worry about anything.

Looking at the things in the store for a while, you left and headed home. Ijichi took you where you wanted.

You wanted to talk to Satoru…

You want to have a child to make your happiness last much longer…

You adjusted your skirt as you got out of the black car. Standing on the sidewalk in the square in front of the house, you thanked him and went home.

You didn't have to open the heavy front door with a key, which means Satoru is home.

Maybe he had some house meeting or something.

He would often come home early if he had such matters.

Maybe now too?

Especially since you know he had to go somewhere today. You don't know exactly where, but it was probably important anyway.

Most likely something related to your father and brother's company.

You silently walked into the kitchen, which is connected by a walkway to the dining room, and placed your bag on the kitchen island.

You wanted to surprise Satoru, and you bought something for him.

You couldn't get crepe to take it to the car and not get anything dirty, so you bought him a custard pie.

Your husband will eat anything.

At the sight of what looks delicious, he always drools.

You put a plastic box on the counter, and thought any noise would lure it in. At least that's what you hoped.

But he didn't show up.

And since there was no one in the living room, maybe he had gone to sleep?

Or takes a shower.

You walked quietly to your bedroom.

He wasn't there.

The bed was made.

That was weird…

Since he wasn't at the fridge or in the living room, his ass should be in the bedroom and sleeping.

Yeah… Your husband is like a cat…

The last place he could have visited was the bathroom.

Or he went down to the basement where like everyone who's rich there's a pool table…

Even if he doesn't play often, he will go there with Suguru sometimes. When they're bored.

Since they don't go to clubs, he's become a homebody.

So Geto began to be glad that he didn't have to follow him and watch women running around them…

They are both homeowners.

You shuffled your house flip flops to the bathroom.

You listened, and you didn't hear the water running from the shower.

And also when you grabbed the handle, the door was open.

You knocked briefly. You hoped he'd answer, if he's there…

He might as well be sitting on the toilet…

No response.

So maybe he wasn't there.

You pushed the door open and stepped inside, looking around the large bathroom.

Her eyes widened at what you saw in the shower.

You walked closer and opened the glass door, which steamed slightly. Even though there was no hot water coming from the ceiling. There was no water at all.

It was steaming from his breath.

Eyes directed forward, slightly narrowed. As he stared at a small black screen that could be attached to the wall with suction cups.

Wireless headphones in his ears.

Mouth open, sweat running down his face. Wet white hair, combed back.

Even if you were standing there, he didn't notice you. He continued what he was doing.

You looked at the screen on the glass pane.

He was watching porn while masturbating…

And not just any porn…

This is something that any rich man who is a pervert and has nothing to do with money would do.

This is a recording from your bedroom when he fucked you…

Didn't even know there were cameras…

The image was close, and you wondered how much professional cameras that would record in such high resolution must have cost. Still close.

He was really bored and set up cameras in the house to have porn videos of you guys fucking.

You noticed another video was playing.

Wondering how much he has…

You heard him moan as he closed his eyes.

You looked at his sweaty body.

His right hand clenched into a fist while his left was placed on the toy between his legs.

His thumb clicked some button on it as he moaned again.

Who would have thought your husband would watch porn and put his cock in a toy that spins around his length and sucks him.

You don't mind him because he's literally watching you fuck.

Looking at this scene in front of you, here you felt yourself starting to get wet.

Hearing his next moans, you saw his back arch slightly and his muscles begin to tremble slightly.

You knew he was coming soon.

Your eyes widened as you heard him say your name.

You walked over to him and suddenly pulled one earphone out of his ear.

He opened his eyes and looked in your direction.

His eyes widened as he turned off the toy quickly, but for me to cover his hard cock with something, he left it inside.

He was panting with a slight blush, and his thigh muscles sometimes quivered as he began to speak.

"(y/n-n)… W-what are you doing here? How long have you been home?" He asked.

"I just got back. I was looking for you. I didn't expect that when I enter the bathroom, I will see a toy sucking your dick. Am I supposed to be jelaous?" You asked ironically.

"…" he turned his head.

He was a bit ashamed.

But the thought of you catching him turned him on a bit…

"I can't see that as a bad thing since you're watching porn with us…" you muttered crossing your arms over your chest.

You tried to ignore the feeling of wetness between your legs.

"How many of these videos do you have?"

"… well…Enough to spend a lot of time masturbating…" he laughed.

"Do you record all our sex?"

"Nope… I set up the cam two weeks ago…" The smile remained on his face. "I'm sorry… But I really want to cum…"

"Are those my panties?" You asked pointing to the underwear lying on the floor next to his leg…

"Yup."

Suddenly you saw his thumb pressing a button on the toy, and the center began to slowly swirl around its shaft.

"I wanted to shoot it with cum…" he laughed biting his lip. "Don't be angry okay? I would never betray you… And if you like to watch me masturbate… Haah… I won't stop my wife from doing it…"

You took off your slippers and stepped into the shower, reaching for your underwear.

You took it away, making him grunt that sounded like he was asking "why?".

Suddenly you grabbed a toy on his cock and clicked the same button as him. Turning off the toy.

He let out a dissatisfied moan, but only because he wanted to come already. You could have done it. He's frustrated, but he's not pissed at you for it.

"(y/n)… I want to cum…" he purred looking at you with puppy eyes. For you to just turn on the toy and let him come.

It was more of a joke because he won't beg. Even though he wants to cum, he thought there was a chance that you would find him cute and let the toy milk his cock.

Contrary to his plan, you pulled his hard, throbbing cock from inside and put the toy on the bench next to you.

(Hell yeah, he has a comfy bench in the shower where he can sit with those long legs)

He looked at you questioningly, and suddenly you took your panties off, sitting on his lap.

You grabbed its base, directing the quivering tip into your hole.

The moisture that covered his entire length through lube and your wetness allowed him to slide inside with a wet sound.

You pulled it out for a moment to adjust yourself, and collapsed on top of it again, biting your lip as it filled you.

You sat fully on top of him and rocked your hips a few times.

"Fuck yeah… Your pussy is so much better than any toy…" he cursed as he pushed his hips towards yours, as his sensitive cock was surrounded by hot, soft walls that sucked him in.

You jumped on top of him a few times with little grunts as your hand began to massage his balls.

Until suddenly you felt the heat melting inside of you.

"Aaaaaah…." he moaned long, keeping your hips on him. "Yeah… I'll buy you a pill, okay?"

He closed his eyes, feeling his cum swim around his cock between your tight walls.

"You don't have to."

"Huh?"

He looked at you questioningly.

"You don't have to buy me pills. What happens, it will happens…"

"So you want to be pregnant?"

"I can be… I wouldn't mind… To finally have a child with you…" You turned your head to the side.

"Fine~." he grunted happily, and suddenly pulled you off his cock.

As you stood next to him, you grabbed your panties that were lying next to you.

And he suddenly grabbed your skirt and pulled it down, completely off your legs.

He also grabbed your top clothes and underwear, and within minutes you were standing in front of him, naked.

You were pulled onto his lap, this time with your back to his chest.

"Wha-?"

"It may not be long, but I can fuck you. If I can pack my sperm inside you, I want to do it at least one more time." He said pressing his tip into you again. You know he's about to be fully hard again. "Also, this week's video of me fucking my cum in your pussy started."

He turned off his headphones and put it down, turning up the volume.

The first thing you heard was moans.

You looked at the screen blushing to see the full picture of your body with your pussy covered in cum from top to bottom.

So that's why he put the blindfold on you at that moment…

So you don't see him walking around with a cam…

As you watched as the camera lowered to direct the footage between your legs, you felt his entire length twitch inside you.

You saw on the screen how his tip enters your filled hole and starts fucking you.

There were grunts and moans throughout the bathroom, as well as the sound of wet skin slapping against skin, in the recording.

It wasn't long before the live sounds joined in as his hips began to hit you fast.

His fingers found their way to your clitoris, and you felt your fluids drain out of you, soaking your entire ass.

Your thighs trembled as he tightened on his post-orgasmic length. As your body trembled against him, he began to fill you with cum again.

Until suddenly he grabbed his base, and he pulled himself out of you.

He lifted your hips quickly, and using his cum on your skin, pushed the tip into your ass, allowing himself to listen to your surprised moans. Especially when your ass was filled with hot liquid that spread over every inch of your insides.

Rubbing the tip of it against your thigh, he headed inside you, preventing his seed from getting out of your vagina.

When he panted on his chest, you don't focus on the screen in front of you.

You focused more on his hand that was placed on your lower abdomen as he spoke.

"My baby will be here soon ~."

[kana7o]

My entry for the sith obikin event!! The prompt was Same age raised as a sith AU!! tho in here they weren't so much 'raised' as sith, but fell on their own?

had many Thoughts with my wife for this prompt, so here's a summary!! I hope I can expand more on this in the future hhhHHH

Same age raised as a sith AU!!!

Quigon bringing his new 13yo padawan Obi-wan to the trade negotiations and etc. They are still basically strangers at this point and they don't mesh well. When Qui-gon finds Anakin, he has every intention to replace Obi-wan with him. But then Darth Maul happens and delivers a fatal blow. Obi-wan manages to kill him still, but Qui-gon's last words to Obi-wan are not to promise to train the boy, but instead he tells him that he knows he used the dark side to kill Maul, and that he'll never be a Jedi.

Obi-wan is devastated, but wanting to still honor his master, he brings Anakin to Coruscant, he may not have Qui-gon as his master, but he is The Chosen one, so surely someone will train him.

He was wrong.

The council sends both of them away to the Agri corps, but their transport gets attacked (by pirates or smth), they survive, but theyre stranded somewhere unfamiliar with only the clothes on their back.

Obi-wan begrudges Anakin for being the one Qui-gon wanted, but he puts his feelings away for now and looks after him, feeling responsible for his fate in a way. He promises he will try to get him back to Tattooine and his mother.

Anakin already feels somewhat betrayed and hurt by the Jedi, being tossed away despite what Qui-gon said. He feels that the only good Jedi is Obi-wan, who protects him and promises to take him home. (Even tho sometimes he is cold to him)

It takes many years of them just trying to survive and save enough money for a transport to take them to the outer rim to tattooine,  Obi-wan teaching Anakin basic saber training that he barely understands himself. He tries to teach him how to use the force, tho it is more difficult for him. He becomes naturally jealous when it comes so easily to Anakin. Anakin thinking he's done something wrong, or is a bad student when Obi-wan suddenly becomes mad at him.

Eventually they make it back to Tattooine,  but by the time they get there, its already too late to save Shmi. They bury her together. Obi-wan, feeling like he has nothing to do with Anakin after bringing him back home, disappears in the night.

He starts making his way towards a bar maybe, vaguely thinking of what to do with his life now, when he's accosted by some criminals. He's about to take them out himself when they're suddenly  brutally cut down by a familiar lightsaber. Anakin with bright yellow, crazed eyes looks at Obi-wan and tells him that he's the only one Anakin has left, and he won't let anyone hurt him.

-----

THIS KIND OF GOT AWAY FROM ME BUT TO TIE UP WITH MY DRAWINGS, its basically Obi-wan trying to be a 'good Jedi', for Anakin, who's fallen into hero worshipping him, and will do anything to protect his view of his 'purity'. He becomes a Sith to protect Obi-wan.

Obi-wan feels extremely guilty about this despite his complicated feelings towards Anakin, Anakin is also the only one who believes in and loves him. So he tries to be a good jedi for him, even tho it haunts him that Qui-go said he would never be one.

In the end, Obi-wan Falls, trying to protect Anakin. Anakin is devastated, he feels like his life is a Lie, or maybe he failed in protecting Obi-wan, and that he wouldn't have Fallen if only he'd been Better.

Good End is where they finally have a Talk about expectations, what the Jedi and Sith mean to them, etc etc and they smooch and save the galaxy one way or the other, the end :)

Bad End is where Anakin takes out Obi-wan's yellow eyes because he reasons that if his eyes aren't yellow, or there at all, he can't be a Sith then :) Obi-wan now can only rely on Anakin to protect him. Obi-wan still punishes Anakin by making him wear a muzzle, like the guard dog he is :)) They save(?) the galaxy one way or the other, the end :)))

[asfodelle]

Hello, hello, here's the first scene of the one-shot I've been writing the last few months. It's about a 'He Tian is involved in the mob and returns occasionally tho feelings never leave' situationship neither can walk out of, Mo is a boxer, there's a touch of religious themes, made myself cry writing it, it's a blast.

1. May 5th 7:12 p.m. - Bell

Before leaving the car, He Tian lets out a long sigh, blowing smoke. He should probably get to praying.

The door snaps shut, echoing in the small street he parked in. Past the intersection he hears kids chatting, going home for dinner maybe. He Tian takes a second to watch himself in the reflection of his tinted windows. He readjusts the collar of his shirt, brushes his pants wrinkled from the long hours of driving, throws his hair backwards and the damp air soon gets him to fold his sleeves up. He doesn’t look so bad, he thinks. Tired. He rubs his face with both hands to bring back some color to his cheeks, then under his eyes as if he could dim the blue tint that’s been settling there, but it doesn’t have very conclusive results. He starts walking.

The entrance of the old warehouse is slightly different from the last time he’s seen it. It looks more welcoming, but it might just be a trick of the light. The peach clouds of the spring evening just paint a nicer ambiance than the grey winter sky did, last January. The gates have been adorned by new tags that have been sprayed on top of the old faded ones and there are flyers encouraging people to join the Sunday mass down the street glued all over, though they don’t reach very high. He Tian imagines a troop of old women roaming the streets, spreading the holy word but his little game of guesswork doesn’t help him relax one bit. 

He gets in front of the door, a smaller entrance within the large sealed gate that used to let trucks in and out of the warehouse. He grips the handle for a second, takes a long inhale and gets in. His eyes slowly adjust to the dimmer lighting but he quickly notes that, contrary to its facade, the inside of the place hasn’t changed much since the last time he saw it. Between high walls of concrete and sheets of metal lie mismatched sets of equipment. Barbells, slick black punching bags, discolored benches of various sorts, a couple old bikes in the back, punch mitts forgotten over a pile of cardboards. A few training boxing rings give shape to the room, the space between them gives the illusion of corridors. The walls are covered in overlapping posters, the grey disrupted by layers on layers of paint and graffitis that even cover the high windows. They let small rays of tinted light in like the stained glass of a church, though the candles are replaced by tens of flickering LEDs lights. There are a few people here and there, busy with dumbbells or talking in their little spot but the room is so wide they can’t be heard. Stairs crawl by the walls leading to more rooms and places He Tian had never been to. Music resonates, low and muffled from a speaker somewhere in a corner.

In the middle of the room stands another ring, a bright red one standing higher than the rest, with white thick cords. When He Tian sees him, he’s sat there, on the side of the wooden platform the red ring rests on. He's listening attentively to a trio of teenagers, leaning backwards on his hands. 

Guan Shan had taken a liking to boxing in high school. A good outlet, he said, one that taught him to measure his emotions. It stuck through the years and he’s been great at it. Then he started giving advice to newcomers, to give some of spare time to help young blood he saw himself in and slowly it transformed into actual lessons and training sessions he holds after work. These kids have been coming here for a couple years now, He Tian remembers them. They are reenacting punches and kicks, arguing and giggling over different combinations and they turn to their coach for approval whenever they get a new idea. He nods along and fixes their posture a couple times, something soft in his eyes. He looks beautiful. Toned and pale as ever, the bare skin of his chest clashes with the black shorts and the tattoos that spangle his body. He Tian stands close to the entrance, leaning cross-armed, his shoulder against a pillar and keeps on watching over him though he struggles to truly appreciate the contrast of colors due to the fifth character in the scene.

A guy he doesn’t know is sitting close to Guan Shan, too close. His hair is an ugly shade of bleached blond and he keeps looking at Guan Shan whenever he speaks with big dumb eyes, mouth agape and enamored. He looks young, but maybe He Tian only feels so much older than his age. He looks stupid.

He Tian hasn’t moved but Guan Shan suddenly lifts his head and catches him right away, as if he’d known all along where he was hiding. The way his eyes widen for a second betray his surprise however but he quickly regains control over his face. It seems like he excuses himself from his little group, the blonde argues something, he wants to follow but he’s brushed away by a dismissing hand.

Guan Shan glances back to He Tian’s shadowy corner and starts moving towards the closed rooms in the back of the building, grabbing a few boxes on the way. He Tian traces behind him with a confident walk and ignores how all of his body stiffens with apprehension, every single muscle a little too tight. Guan Shan enters the room first and He Tian follows a few seconds after. He closes the door behind them. The handle creaks and his hands are sweaty.

It’s not quite messy in here, but the little office room is packed. The desk is covered with stacks of papers, cardboard boxes are neatly piled up in the back of the room; some are already opened and uncover the gloves, the tapes and bandages they hold. The window is open too, letting in the noise of the city. Guan Shan sets the boxes he carried over on top of one of the piles and gets to fumbling in his bag, almost turning his back to the door where He Tian stands.

« Hi. » he tries, and braces himself for what’s coming. 

« You know it’s fucking weird creeping in corners like this? »

He Tian pinches his lips in a thin line.

« Why are you here? » Guan Shan asks then, still busying himself in his bag. He doesn’t sound angry, just a little cold, maybe annoyed at the disturbance.

« I’ve got some business to handle in town. »

« I thought you were abroad until September. » Guan Shan muses, finding the shirt he seemed to be looking after, a large black one. He Tian follows his hands and notices he has splatters of white and red paint over his forearms, his short nails are stained too.

« The schedule is never really steady. » 

Guan Shan scoffs. He Tian know that’s a first warning but he can’t help but focus on the way his muscles jolt, on the way they flex as he flips the shirt over. He tries to not lose his eyes on the curve of his biceps. It’s a struggle. 

« I negotiated a little. » He adds « Took over Cheng’s spot. »

Little negotiations that involved a precarious alliance, three weeks of tailing for intel and a couple of threats. It was worth it.

Carefully, He Tian moves away from the door, closer to Guan Shan. He probably shouldn’t, definitely shouldn’t yet he lifts a hand and reaches out to touch his bare back. Guan Shan freezes.

« I wanted to see you. » he explains, voice low as his knuckles trace the bumps of Guan Shan’s spine. It’s daring. It might earn him a hook but the pull is magnetic.

As their routine dictates, they hadn’t parted in very good terms the last time and for that, coming back to him is always a gamble. A game of Russian roulette even and quite a dangerous version of it; one where he never even knew how many bullets were hidden in the cylinder, each of them taking a different shape. At times He Tian had handled days of scowling looks and a soft kiss that had left him bleeding out, he had received sharp words from petty fights without wincing but just the weight of Guan Shan’s rehearsed indifference could pierce his lungs and leave him breathless. He will take the hits, he does not care. It’s a game they’ve played for years now and as long as the other still accepts to pull the trigger on him, he’d take anything. After all, He Tian is the one who bound the gun to his hand in the first place.

A punch never lands this time. Guan Shan sighs, his shoulders drop then he turns around and throws his arms around He Tian’s neck, knocking the air out of him all the same. He Tian holds back tightly, and finally breathes out, his fingertips digging into hot freckled skin.

« I missed you. » He Tian whispers. What a fucking understatement. 

The arms around his neck tighten in response, only for a brief second before they hear loud noise by the door. Their embrace ends as quick as it started, Guan Shan stepping back and turning to put on the shirt he had discarded a second ago. He glares at the door, expecting it to open at any moment but thankfully, the people outside only pass by. 

« I’m training the kids all evening, and there’s a party at eleven, but I don’t think it’ll stay long. » Guan Shan says when the room has quieted down enough. 

« I’ll pick you up then. »

Guan Shan nods. That should be He Tian’s cue to leave, he has a couple things to settle tonight anyway but the other looks as if he’s pondering over something. He Tian catches how amber eyes roam over his face, for a brief moment they even settle on his mouth, but then return to the door. 

« Get lost. » he tells He Tian, tilting his head towards the door but there’s no bite into it.

When He Tian gets back to the car, his cheeks hurt. In the tinted window, his smile might look shy but it’s wider than it’s been in the last four months.

[burningupp]

for the celebration could you do stray kids reactions to idol!reader’s comeback changing to a darker concept? thank you!!

i combined these bc they were similar, hope that's ok <3

i loved writing this tbh, it was really fun. i hope you enjoy all of them!

pairing: f!idol!reader x skz

warnings: most of these are a lil suggestive, nothing explicit tho, female reader

wc: 3.8k

Chan

When the two of you first got together, you decided that you would keep comeback concepts as a surprise. While there was no avoiding hearing the songs from somewhere since you trained in the same building, it was a fun game for you to try to figure out what performances would be like. It also helped the two of you talk about things other than work, because honestly, it’s hard to be an idol sometimes; a break where it’s just the two of you, no discussions of fans or the industry, are the best moments you have.

You are generally a very bubbly person; he usually compares your personality to an explosion of color and flowers, and he has yet to talk to someone who disagrees. This is why his jaw drops as soon as he sees you get up on stage for the performance. You’re wearing a black dress, your makeup is pretty dark and defines your features in a way he’s not used to. That said, you look amazing.

The way you move on stage surprises him infinitely more. Gone are the cute bounces you usually perform, replaced with body rolls and slow, sensual movements. He thanks whatever coincidence led to him being backstage during your performance, because he’s certain that he wouldn’t have been able to control his expression even if he tried. He’s just so in love with you, and you’re showing him new things about his favorite person on the planet - how is he supposed to not look at you with all the love in the world?

As soon as you come backstage, he envelops you in the tightest hug he possibly can give you. You giggle at the show of affection, squeezing him right back. He releases you sooner than he would like, because even though there are no cameras around, some staff members have been known to talk.

“Did you like it?” you ask sweetly, and the change from your stage persona back to your usual self is a shock to Chan’s system - a welcome one, though, because you’re the one he loves.

“I absolutely loved it, darling,” he tells you softly, interlacing his fingers with yours. “It was so different! I didn’t know you could act like that.”

“Mm, there are many things you don’t know about me yet,” you tease.

It makes Chan’s heart skip a beat; he can’t wait for the day he finally knows every single thing about you.

Minho

Minho being a music show MC is both a blessing and a curse. He loves meeting people, he loves getting to see so many great performances, and he loves the fact that when your group has a comeback, he sees you more often than ever. Usually, your concepts are so cute and lovely he can’t help but smile, which is fine - he’s supposed to smile for the camera, anyway. The curse only strikes now, when he has to interview you before your performance looking like an absolute vixen.

“Wow, you guys look incredible,” his co-host tells your group, and you all smile and bow at the compliment.

The way you’re smiling is messing with his head, because how in the world is he supposed to connect your usual sweet personality with the way you’re dressed? You look like a maneater, and while he can’t say he’s complaining in general, it’s definitely not easy for him to resist looking like he wants to devour you. Maybe because he does.

“Your concepts are usually very refreshing and innocent,” Minho begins. He has to follow the script, afterall. “This concept of yours is kind of surprising.”

The leader of your group smiles brightly. “Yes, it is a bit of a difference, but we all enjoy it a lot, I think.”

As soon as your boyfriend hears your laugh, he struggles ten times as much to not look at you. He can’t help it, you’re like a magnet to him. He may not be very touchy in public, but if there’s anything that describes him, it’s that he’s completely obsessed with you. The two of you are the only ones who know, but he doesn’t mind that much, and he doesn’t think you do either.

The interview is over, and he’s relieved at first, but then he sees you dance and he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to keep going. You’re a great dancer, you always have been, but he’s never seen you dance like this and it’s absolutely destroying him. Fuel is added to the fire roaring inside him when some loser a guy calls out how much he loves you from the crowd.

Minho needs you to know how much he loves seeing you like that. After the show he tells you with words, but he also shows you with his actions. He can’t bring himself to detach from you for even a second, and his compliments for your dancing are endless. He’s not usually that vocal about it, but he knows this concept has been worrying you for a while, and he will give his girl what she needs; not doing so isn’t an option in his world.

Changbin

Changbin has alarms set on his phone for every single piece of material that will be released as part of your promotions. Needless to say, the first concept photo he sees makes him absolutely lose his mind. He calls you immediately, and prays to whatever higher power who might be listening that you will pick up. His efforts aren’t in vain, it seems, as you pick up on the fourth ring.

“Baby, hi–”

“You cannot  be serious,” he immediately yells in his loud-ass voice. You pull the phone away from you, stretching it as far away as possible to avoid hearing loss. “How the hell am I supposed to survive this comeback?! You could have at least warned a guy, oh my god.”

You listen to him rant for a few minutes, giggling every so often and attempting to get a word in. You fail, obviously. After a while, though, he starts to calm down. He’s breathing heavily, which makes you laugh even more despite your cheeks and sides already hurting from laughing so much.

“Baby,” you start, and he sighs deeply but doesn’t interrupt you again, so you continue. “Hi. I missed you. I hope you’re having a good day. Thank you for the compliments, my love, I’m really glad you enjoyed the image!”

Upon hearing your words, Changbin doesn’t know what to do. He’s still overwhelmed with your concept photos, the dark and sultry look something he won’t soon forget, but then you’re so sweet and lovely it makes his head spin. He just sputters for a second, and you gently remind him to breathe through an airy laugh. He heeds your advice.

“Sweetheart,” he says slowly once he’s composed himself.

“Yes?”

“I love you. I love you so much. Please make time to come see me today? I might even skip the gym, as long as it gives me more time with you.”

The crazy part is that he’s so serious when he says it. Did he skip going to the gym when Jeongin asked him to help him build furniture? No. Did he skip the gym to help Yongbok show his childhood friend around Seoul? No, he joined them late and the two of them got lost. Would he skip going to the gym simply so he could hug you and hide his face in your neck for a few hours? Abso-fucking-lutely.

“Binnie, that’s so sweet,” you coo, and he can imagine your wide, glassy eyes, so thankful to him for offering such a thing. He melts without even seeing it. “I was thinking I could join you though? I know you don’t like missing it.”

And if it takes him another 15 minutes to screw his head on straight because he can’t possibly love you any more than he already does, you don’t mention it; because you’re perfect for him.

Hyunjin

Hyunjin knows that he is being filmed by fans, and that’s most likely the only reason he hasn’t sprinted onto the stage to kiss you senseless yet. Emphasis on yet, because he honestly can’t guarantee that it won’t happen. Chan is keeping an eye on him, though, so he considers himself likely to be stopped before he traumatizes his members and shocks the entire world.

You’re dancing so well, and your voice is so sultry, and your makeup is absolutely perfect. What is a man supposed to do? He can’t look at you too much, he can’t look too impressed or interested, but if he doesn’t do something he’s sure he will explode. Minho, that little shit, is grinning at him and wriggling his eyebrows. He knows this is hard for his younger friend, just as it would be for him if his girlfriend did something like that.

All of the boys are cheering, wowing, and making an absolute spectacle over the performance; after all, it’s very on brand for them to enjoy performances in this way. It also helps mask some of Hyunjin’s fascination, but he’s aware he needs to be careful. Your groups are openly friends, so he can get away with a lot, and he couldn’t be more grateful. He’s so sure there would be dating rumors sooner or later, because damn does he suck at acting unbothered, but he can’t bring himself to care. He’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it.

In the bridge of the song, you are in the center. Hyunjin has never been more captivated than right now, watching you slide slowly onto your knees on the floor, legs spread wide so it looks like you’re straddling an invisible figure beneath you. Just that would have been enough, but the way your voice is so husky and sensual makes him gulp out loud. He spirals further when you send a wink into the audience, and while its target is very ambiguous, he knows it’s for him.

He hears his members gasp and cheer, yelling about how you’re tearing it up, but he barely registers it even though he agrees fully. His ears are ringing, his hands trembling, and he’s actually sweating. What the fuck was happening?!

After the show, both groups meet up to grab dinner together. You decided to keep the makeup on, and Hyunjin doesn’t know whether he should be cursing or thanking you for your decision. You look so beautiful, but he is quite literally unable to function around you when you look like that. The complete dichotomy of your personality to the stage concept puts the nail in the coffin for him.

“Please,” he whispers in your ear as soon as you are a small distance away from the others. “Please let’s leave. Let’s go home.”

“Needy, are we?” you chuckle teasingly, but you don’t disagree. “We can go home. I don’t have the stage outfit though, sorry.” You wink.

Even the thought of your short skirt makes him groan in absolute despair. He’s so fucking lucky to have you.

Jisung

Jisung is live on YouTube when someone in the chat finally mentions your group’s comeback and the music video. He says he hasn’t had time to watch it yet, which obviously prompts every single person watching to spam him, asking him to react to the video live. All according to his plan.

Except maybe it wasn’t a very good plan. He had been avoiding all the spoilers, going so far as refusing to see you for the week leading up to the release date just to not accidentally hear you hum something and ruin the experience for him. The staff sitting behind the camera makes sure to send him a warning look before he starts the video, and he sends them a reassuring one in return.

He shouldn’t have been so overly confident, because wow. You look absolutely lethal, and his mouth waters without his permission. He tries his best to keep his expression at a solid mildly entertained level, but it’s so hard to not explode into cheers and yells - especially whenever you come onto the screen. He keeps his outbursts as minimal as possible, only exclaiming in the first chorus and the bridge. Not too suspicious, considering his usual reactions to performances.

The regret sets in even deeper when the video is over and he realizes that he can’t watch it over and over again. He puts on a brave face and gets through the rest of the livestream, chatting with fans and telling funny anecdotes from the dorms. He doesn’t think anyone suspects anything, and when the staff member tells him he did well after the live ends he decides to not worry about it.

He finally pulls up the video again, and admires it in its entirety once more before going through specifically your parts. The song is sexy, painfully so, and he doesn’t know how to act around you after this. His normally cute, somewhat shy girlfriend is staring into the camera as if she’s going to eat it alive, and it’s doing things to him.

It’s less than half an hour after the live ended when you send him a text, teasing him about his reaction to the video. Others don’t know him that well, but you? You can tell at a single glance that he has no idea how to feel about your appearance in the video. It’s kind of fun to have him be the shy one for once, but you tell yourself you won’t torture him too much.

As soon as your text reaches him, your poor boyfriend is scrambling to call you as fast as he can; he can’t wait to absolutely gush about the video, even though it most likely will consist of incoherent rambling for the most part. It also probably won’t help with how desperate he is to see you, but he can’t bring himself to care right now.

“That was fast,” you chuckle on the other end as soon as you pick up. “You okay?”

“It’s so good!” Jisung yells without an ounce of shame. “I literally- you- I’ve never seen you like this before, and that’s an atrocity. It’s not fair that everyone else gets to see you like that, too!”

You hear the whine in his voice and giggle a little - you make sure your schedule is free so he can come see you later tonight.

Felix

You had hinted to Felix that the comeback was going to be very different to what you and your group usually did, but this? Completely unexpected.

You looked so fierce with your eye makeup dark and heavy, your lips stained a dark red. He almost couldn’t recognize you on stage, but of course he did - you were the love of his life, after all. He absolutely loved the song, he loved getting to see you confidently complete the choreography with a smug smile on your face.

The only problem, really, was the fact that he was watching your comeback from the dorms. He wanted to get his hands on you, crush you in the tightest hug and tell you how fucking amazing you are and how well you’re doing, but he can’t. Stupid schedules. On the upside, since no fans or cameras are around to see him, he’s free to lose his mind as much as he pleases. And boy, is he.

He watches the video fifteen times in a row. Seungmin comes out of his room to check what the hell Felix is even watching, only to laugh mockingly when he spots the poor man’s girlfriend looking like the complete opposite of what she usually does, in a very good way of course. He decides he can’t blame him and just pats him on the shoulder reassuringly. Felix hasn’t closed his mouth since the first time he saw you on the stage.

love of my life: did you watch it?

Fuck, he forgot to text you. He wanted to, he had planned to, but the shock of the performance still hadn’t left him. He gripped his phone tightly, hands shaking and fingers refusing to cooperate as he attempted to reply.

sunshine <3: of course I did! baby that was amazing, oh my god!

He knew you wouldn’t be able to call him right then, too much probably going on backstage for you to be able to have a private conversation, but he wanted to hear your voice so badly. He somehow couldn’t connect you, his sweet and loving girlfriend, with the absolute minx that he just saw on stage. God, how he loved it.

Seungmin

“Hey Min,” you grin at Seungmin as you enter his dorm. He smiles and hugs you tight in greeting. “Did you see the broadcast?”

“I did,” he hums back, letting you go and smiling softly again. “You did amazing.”

“Thank you,” you smile back.

You can’t help but feel a tad bit disappointed, though. Seungmin never really lets on to what he’s feeling, as evidenced by whatever kind of relationship limbo you’re currently in. Do you guys kiss, cuddle, and do more explicit things together? Yes, very often. Has he asked you to be his girlfriend? No. You would do it instead, but you don’t actually know how he feels about you - kissing and all seems to interest him, but he’s never outright told you whether he likes you or not.

You had kind of been hoping that this new, very different concept for your comeback would have somehow flipped a switch. You had never been so heavily made up for a stage, never worn lipstick so dark or clothes so tight and revealing. You had wanted some kind of reaction, at least, but you didn’t even get that. Oh well. At least he had invited you over, so that’s good, you suppose.

“I figured maybe we could watch a movie together? You must be tired,” Seungmin says, breaking you out of your thoughts. “You can even pick.”

You fake gasp, your hands pressing against your chest in reverent surprise. “Me? THE Kim Seungmin will allow me to pick the movie? Why I just-”

He shuts you up with a kiss and you giggle. He smiles, too. Then he pulls you into his room by your hand, and closes the door behind you. You plop onto his bed and sigh, completely exhausted by the day. You expect to feel his weight join you on the bed, but when you don’t you open your eyes and look at the boy frozen by the door of his room.

“What?” you frown, concerned that you did something wrong.

“Uh, nothing,” he mumbles. He’s frozen for a few more seconds, and then he seems to change his mind. “Actually…” He can’t hold it in anymore. Not after that performance. Not when you look like an angel spread out on his bed. His heart hasn’t stopped racing since he saw you perform, and his head is just filled with eternal screaming.

“Yes?”

“Please be my girlfriend?” he finally asks. It’s not until then you pick up on the slight tinge of red on his cheeks, the way his breathing is quicker, and the slight tremble of his hands. “I- I wanted to ask better than this, nicer than this, but I just- the performance-”

You smile at him softly, which further cements your place in his heart, and get up from the bed to stand in front of him. You place a gentle hand against his chest, looking into his eyes before you nod. This was perfect enough for you.

Jeongin

how to stop sweating because someone is attractive

am I having a heart attack

am I in love with my best friend

This isn’t even half of what Jeongin’s been googling for the past fifteen minutes. The last one does make him pause, though; he didn’t even know he felt that way about you. Or maybe he did, and he just didn’t want to admit it to himself. You’re older than him, and somehow it has always felt so wrong to him, like he won’t be enough for you even if he were to try.

That’s why you’re so mean for doing this to him. How dare you just walk on stage in leather pants and a tight top with a plunging neckline, your face made up with the sultriest makeup he thinks he’s ever seen, and just expect him to live with that? For him to live with the knowledge of how sexy you can look? How sexy you could look for him if only he had the balls to finally ask you out?

And let’s not even talk about the new vocal techniques you were trying out. Your husky voice singing the deeper notes absolutely messed with his head. There was also a part in the song with your heavy breathing and he is sure he’s having a heart attack. Suddenly he’s revisiting the list of symptoms of a heart attack.

And then you’re calling him, and he’s yelping out loud as the picture he has on your contact pops up on his screen. The sweet, innocent look that you usually have, barely any makeup on your face and a cute yellow sundress on. Briefly, he feels like he’s dying even more because how in the world are you beautiful no matter what you wear? How do you even do it?

He finally takes a deep breath and answers the phone, trying to sound as normal as he can even when he feels like he’s perpetually short of breath.

“Hey noona,” he answers lightly, and he can see you smile prettily in his mind’s eye. He’s fucked.

“Hi Innie!” you respond happily. “Did you see the music video?”

“I did,” he responds, shutting his eyes tightly to try and block out the image of you in the video. It doesn’t work. It kind of makes it a more prominent image, actually.

“What did you think?” you ask, and your bubbly personality is giving him whiplash.

He spends a second or two trying to compose himself before he starts talking about how much he likes the song, how good you all look (emphasis on all, because he doesn’t think he could handle it if you decided to tease him for finding you beautiful) and your cool new vocal technique that he is trying his hardest not to think about.

“That’s a relief,” you laugh airily, sounding like you actually were worried about his opinion. His chest clenches. “It’s so different, I was worried I wasn’t doing good.”

He wills his heart to stop beating so stupidly fast while he tells you how there’s no need to be concerned about that. He also finally makes up his mind to ask you out some day soon, if for no other reason than maybe finally getting his heart to finally calm down around you.

a/n: i'm so sorry this took me so long, but i hope you all enjoy it nonetheless <3 school will be calming down significantly for me starting end of march, so pls be patient with me until then!

[thedeviljudges]

this scene tho. i want to primarily focus on sunah, but i'd be remiss if i didn't mention yohan underestimating sunah and her greed. just before this scene he asks her where isaac's necklace is, and she says she's keeping it somewhere safe (...not) in case someone takes it from her. yohan fuels her ego by asking if her there's anyone who could, but even yohan's praise isn't enough for sunah now, having felt betrayed by the one person she felt understood her.

which leads into a couple of different things. first, while yohan does understand sunah to an extent, he fails to understand her greed (as mentioned above) and what fuels it. the audience gets to see it, but from his pov, she's merely trying to obtain power but not why.

and this is sunah's downfall because she also doesn't understand yohan's motivation. she didn't understand it the first time he turned her down, and here, while it finally clicks that yohan is doing this to 'take out the trash,' she asks him why, and of course, he'd never answer that it's all for his brother. she just thinks he's taking out another corrupt government, and she doesn't see the point because they'd just be replaced - this also lends a very interesting pov because sunah doesn't see herself as part of that trash. if they were to 'rule' together, wouldn't that be replacing the current form of government with sunah and yohan: another failure of government?

i have no point to make here other than the fact that sunah truly doesn't see yohan as a person, but a shiny object she can collect and use. sunah was never on yohan's radar. so, they'd be psuedo-partners because of this clip above; one wrong move and sunah would turn, and yohan's not even thinking about them as a possibility because none of this was about them or her to begin with.

all this to say, there may be fundamental things we understand about people, but at their core, do we really truly know them or our desires and the way we want to see them get in the way of truly knowing someone, their motivations and who you can trust? i think this leads into personas and all of that, who we show ourselves to be vs the image people have of us. that's not entirely the rabbit hole i want to go down, but just to note that sunah's downfall was inevitable because yohan really was the vice she couldn't give up nor understand.

[that-birdy-chick]

Hawaii five 0 s8 commentary:

Part 1.

ep 1 x s8

- five 0 really do love introducing female characters in bikinis, or were they trying to make it even more obvious that tani is the new kono replacement?

- aww Danny asking Steve to be his partner in the whole restaurant thing is very sweet

- the torch is back again? Kinda thought his story was complete after the prison break with Adam, didn't he have this whole speech about being better of in prison?

- okay Steve worrying about tani being reckless and her not taking any of his shit and Danny being all "see, now you know how I feel all the time" is very funny

- oh so now you realize going into the middle of a raging wild fire was a bad idea, who would have thought?

- damn Danny is so used to Steve's bullshit he doesn't even fight it anymore

- they- he's taking the entire house? He's taking the entire house

- wow they're making it very very obvious that tani is supposed to be the new kono, okay

- omg so call me nuts but why does the whole restaurant thing feel like a weird metaphor for Steve and danny setteling down together? They talk like their gonna marry- I feel like I'm hallucinating

ep 2

- I may be a cat person but that is one cute dog- and he has such a nice owner and - oh no I know how this is gonna go

- nononono don't hurt the doggo! IS HE GONNA BE OKAY?!

- don't show me this fucking junior guy I need to know if the dog is okay!

- Steve what do you mean, you've never been married? You and danny have been basically married for at least 5 years now. And since when are you uncomfortable talking about Steve's feelings Danny?? what are you two talking about??

- yes finally someone goes looking for the poor puppy! Oh no the poor baby's hurt 🥺Tho I'm a little confused I thought Danny was the dog person? Why is Steve suddenly so invested and not danny? Did the powers that be forget the whole Mr. Pickles thing?

- people how am I supposed to care about the plot if I don't know if the dog is gonna make it!

- poor eddie is such a good boy, I would literally die for him 🥺 he's gonna be okay! oh thank goodness

- "I thought you were a cat person " (thank you Danny!)

"I guess he grew on me"

Steve why you looking at Danny while saying that? Don't tell me the dog is supposed to be a parallel to him

-god damn it, pets mourning their lost owners always gets me :'(

ep 3

- I swear the whole restaurant thing feels like Steve and danny planning their wedding-

Kamekona did not just pull out a mcdanno shirt -

I can't with this show anymore

- eyyyy bootleg James bond is back! And steve is talking about "our" retirement plan? Just make them an official married couple already!

- come on Harry, you don't gotta roast their restaurant idea like that especially after they agreed to let you tagalong

- I love how mcdanno exchange judging looks whenever Harry trys to sweet talk someone, true couple goals right there

- man the whole police-violence-played-for-laughs-thing especially against poc really didn't age well

- okay so 10 bucks harry's the secret bad guy

- eww no don't flirt with tani harry, that's just weird! I swear what is it with Hollywood and old men hitting on girls that aren't even half their age

- Damn Harry really just went and called Steve and danny out for for being in love and unable to live without each other and they didn't deny anything

- okay nvm Harry isn't the bad guy it's just some random dude who lost a kid, and apparently Harry lost someone important to him?

- naww they boys are cooking for them- aaand fighting - oh man, this could have been such a nice little gesture, why you gotta ruin it for a joke? I mean I know their probably just setting up the restaurant idea failing which- I'm kinda sad about because it could have been an actual nice retirement thing to end the show on somewhere down the line, but I guess not

ep 4

- I love how Lou talks to steve like he's making an investment without asking his husband (which let's be real he definitely is)

- the use of the term "partner" is becoming more and more ambiguous by the second

- rip toast he was a nice dude, at least before he became loaded

- naww not Steve being all smug about Danny calling Hawaii home

- no kamekona! don't hurt him🥺

- better call your son dude you don't fuck with Steve's family

- kamekona really did a fuck tone of good ever since he made it out of prison, it's really nice that he finally gets some recognition for that

- so junior is homeless? Really explains a lot of stuff about why he's so desperate to be five 0

-aww and steve adopts him right away and tani too, the man really does collect strays like Pokémon

ep 5

- aw grace brought Steve a pumpkin for Halloween? guess she's growing up to be a Halloween lover just like her dad

- so 10 min in and already Alicia triggered Steve's mommy-issues

-Alicia honey, Steve has like five adopted children already and is a pretty intense dude maybe it be good to have someone else take care of your deeply traumatized daughter if this doesn't go well?

- tani:"so there's this hot demi-god"

"top or bottom?" Danny asking the important question

- love me some good folklore inspired murders

- so the clay maxwell thing still isn't over? poor Lou hasn't the guy has put him through enough?

- I love that their bringing eddie along everywhere now, he's the best new addition to the team <3

- so love that Danny is also along for them search of the killer but isn't that kind of a bad idea with his busted arm?

-huh tani and junior are clicking fast guess there's a romance about to happen

- hey and Lou is finally getting closure for the dian thing, that's great!

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Is this a safe space? I got some whining to do.

Not just about the landlady and about how we're gonna be homeless again in a month. No, I got a bone to pick with Dave and I need to vent.

So... how did he fuck up this time, many of you may wonder?

1.) Christmas.

Dave didn't want a turkey or any of the usual Christmas dinner stuff we have. It's literally only the 2nd day a year where we have any of that shit, but he whined about not wanting to do extra work like at Thanksgiving... where he did no work at all. I literally sat in the kitchen with mom for hours. It was hot af, and tiring. In the end, he had to wash a couple plates but that was it. I'm the one who had to go back and forth fetching things, washing and re-washing pots and pans so mom could use them for something new, and stirring shit cuz she couldn't move.

He demanded seafood and stuffed shells for Christmas. Mom told him that shit would be too expensive for people like us. Besides, she would get paid on Dec 22nd, which meant it would be too late to get anything like that as shit would be cleared out. He had the money to get the stuff he wanted early, but decided Food Stamps should pay for most of it first and waited until Christmas Eve. Well, guess what?! Money finally comes in, he waits around, and when he finally goes shopping... there's barely anything left.

He had to buy frozen stuffed shells which were a bit cheaper than making them homemade, but they ended up being disgusting and no one liked the filling which tasted rancid af. So, he left them on the counter for like 10 hours and never touched them. Then bitched cuz no one, not even him, ate them and they sat out all night and had to be thrown out. He managed to get some kind of mini shrimp platter which was basically 28-30 small shrimp around a small container of cocktail sauce. Finally, he had to spend his own actually money to go to some small seafood shop somewhere and get some clams which were expensive as well. We each got like 6 of the world's smallest ass clams ever.

Basically, there was nothing of actual substance for dinner and we all ate mom's pasta salad which was gone in a single sitting.

Then, he wanted pumpkin pie, lemon meringue pie, and some other pie. Mom told him she wasn't making him jack shit cuz he's the only one who likes pumpkin pie in this house, and she made him one just for him at Thanksgiving... and his ass never ate any of it. In fact, he claimed it made him sick(which was him hiding the fact that he'd gotten himself fast food earlier that day, when he knows grease and oil on french fries make him sick). Bethy narked on him wasting money on Thanksgiving Day when we were already making dinner, and he stuck to his claims and ended up leaving that pie to sit in the fridge on the top shelf and never touched it. He got himself fast food a couple days later and... got sick again. And mom was like, "Let me guess... the ice cream made you sick so now you won't need to touch it and the rest of us can have it?" And he threw a fit.

Dave had to buy his precious pie for himself... And refused to fucking read direction so guess what? He left it in too long and burned it. Mom had placed a special order for quick delivery and got the rest of us different pies to share so everyone would get something for dessert. They just ended up being mostly whipped cream and a slight hint of flavor and were lame af tho. I was especially mad cuz she informed everyone of who got what and Dave literally went right behind everyone's backs and took like a quarter of each of the other pies in one sitting and left his burnt as one on the table for days.

2.) Landlady's Possessions

Some may recall me mentioning how in our first 2 weeks here, Dave managed to break the tempered glass stove top and tried to hide it? Well, not only has he not replaced that after finally coming clean about it and claiming it would be and easy replacement to handle, but he also broke the handle to the landlady's washer/dryer set, and the faucet in the bathroom sink which is why we haven't been able to wash our hands there this whole time. We've gotten use the shower to the kitchen sink if cleanliness is truly so important.

Mom ended up having to place the dryer handle the other night. Dave still won't mention the stove top though. He claims he can fix the faucet but won't acknowledge how if he doesn't fix the stove top, he's not getting the last month's rent and security back(which would be about $2,600). The house will NOT be as it was when he moved it because of HIM and that WILL be $2,600 down the drain. So, despite all that bitching, he's doing nothing as per usual.

3.) Waste

He's still wasting food. The first point should have gotten that across pretty well but it goes beyond.

I made pasta 2 nights ago. We had alfredo sauce, and I had some cans of chicken I was hiding away for a just such an occasion to spruce it up, yk? It took like half an hour, but it was done right as they walked in the door at 6 PM. I got mom and I some food, Bethy got her own food, and then we ate.

His ass never ate dinner. In fact, he got on the phone to whoever the fuck to bitch about how tired he was of not getting to eat full meals. Rigatoni in chicken and alfredo sauce was sitting in a massive pot int he kitchen, and his ass wouldn't touch it. Same as usual. There was enough for him but when I went out, he didn't touch it even after hours, so I had to put it away.

He never puts the food away, no matter who makes it. I often go into the kitchen at midnight to find all of dinner left everywhere. Much has gone to waste even because he won't fucking help.

So today, mom was supposed to make stuffed peppers. She got all the shit for it, but Dave suddenly whines and bitches, like he's never had them before and doesn't know how they're made, "What's in them?" Mom explains slowly cuz he's that fucking dumb. "I don't want tomato sauce, I'll get heartburn!" "We've always had them that way, and you've always had heartburn, yet you never complained before." "Well, I don't want it now! I'm fucking tired of tomato sauce!"

We haven't had tomato sauce in over a month cuz he specifically won't buy it unless Bethy is there to put it in the cart. He demands mom uses alfredo sauce in the stuffed peppers instead... and it was awful. I've never needed so much salt in my life. Dave lost the garlic powder so much of the flavor was missing, and rice covered in alfredo sauce is NOT good. I was very displeased. Once again, we do shit to cater to Dave and once again, it ends up being a failure cuz guess what? He didn't fucking eat any. There were enough for everyone to have at least 2 with 2 left over. There are 6 remaining. I ate 2 with extra rice on the side, mom had 1, and Bethy had 1. Dave didn't even eat them... cuz he ended up not liking them even when mom told him it wasn't going to end up well.

All that bitching and forcing us to change how we usually do things, only to not only NOT eat the thing that was made to his specifications, but then he spent the night bitching about being hungry when his ass could make spaghetti and alfredo sauce for himself if he was so desperate for food. We have ground beef and ground turkey. Canned chicken. Mac n' cheese. Different types of soup. He was not starving or going without, he was just lazy. After all that talking, he did nothing at all.

4.) Not reading the lease.

Withholding details of the lease from us and not bothering to read it clearly and now acting like he did nothing wrong the entire time.

~.O.~

The one thing Dave isn't at fault for, is the landlady's behavior.

This house has a separate garage that wasn't part of the lease. She's not having it slightly remodeled, and her ex-husband is adding an electric garage door. He had to come in and check the breaker with his electrician friend and they were mumbling to each other about her plans. She DOESN'T want to move in, she wants to rent out the house and garage together for a higher price.

I'm so mad I am practically fuming.

We're getting hit by everything, and to have this news dumped on us right before Christmas has just soured the holidays entirely. We've already begun packing our things, but we have no plan on where to go and nowhere to even put our stuff again. We have 6 weeks left and I'm just so tired.

[GFM] [Ko-Fi]

[hard-deck-confessions]

I See You - Chapter 1

Pairing: Hangman x Phoenix

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: enemies to lovers (not yet tho), slow burn, slight swearing, for sure some military inaccuracies, third person POV

Summary: Phoenix hates Hangman's guts. But she cares about her friends more, and Hangman is making her best friend miserable. About a month ago, Hangman started picking on Bob again. No one knows why he started his jeering up again, but Phoenix is willing to pay anything to make it stop. But what happens when that price is a date? And what happens when it turns out that Jake Seresin actually isn't the worst company?

A/N: I had the idea for this fic after I saw a fanfic quote prompt somewhere: "I brought you a juice." (I can't find the user it was from, but if you do please let me know so I can credit them!) From there I wrote a cute little Hangman x reader incorrect Top Gun quote post, but I realized it was such a Hangman x Phoenix interaction so Jabber and I collaborated over some ideas and this baby was born!

This story is written fully in 3rd person, so omnipotent narrator who reads the other characters minds occasionally, but it takes place mostly from Phoenix’s POV.

Also I may have completely made up correction sensors, but they’re based off whatever targeting system that malfunctions during the “mission” in the movie. They never get mentioned again, please leave them alone. They are sensitive and valid.

Chapter Song(s): Mean, NO, CHOKE

****

"That’s a kill!" Bob’s excited voice came crackling through the radio in the Daggers’ break room.

The room erupted with cheers. No one had been able to down Hangman in this week’s exercises on targeting without the correction sensors so far, but Bob’s quick thinking and steady hand had finally done it. Hangman’s gloating would be replaced by cheers of Bob’s name that day in the lockers. A welcome reprieve.

Back in the air, Phoenix was pumping her fists in the air and flipping off an unknowing Hangman. "Suck it, Bagman! We got your butt good!" the aviator called through the radio. "That’s how we do it over here with the smoothest duo in the Daggers! Great job, Bob! MVP of the exercise for sure.”

The shy backseater blushed lightly beneath his oxygen mask. He still got flustered over the smallest compliments, no matter how many times his supportive squad mates clapped him on the back or clasped his shoulders singing his praises. He stumbled over his words as he squinted against the sun in his eyes, making getting the words out even harder, "I, uh, you—you basically lined up the shot for me, Phoenix, I just pressed the button."

"Nah, that was all you, Bob. Don’t sell yourself short." Phoenix insisted proudly.

"No, please do sell yourself short, Baby," Hangman interjected with a laugh, the cockiness and resentment were practically dripping from his voice, even through the radio.

"Please go screw yourself, Bagman," Phoenix spat back. "Ignore him, Bob, you did amazing."

"It’s okay, Phoenix; he’s just joking." Bob said, always trying to keep the peace, especially between Phoenix and Hangman. Bob was getting pretty good at standing up for himself, but the two of them always seemed to be at each other’s throats and Bob found that he was usually, unintentionally, the reason.

"I wasn’t, actually," Hangman quipped again.

Phoenix’s blood was about to boil; if it wasn’t likely to get both her and Bob a court martial, she’d dive on the cocky blond's plane just to give him a good scare. Instead, she settled for some "playful" verbal abuse.

"Bagman, everything everyone says behind your back is true."

"Was that meant to hurt my feelings, Phoenix?"

"I swear the only reason they let you fly solo is because your WSO would purposely sabotage you both just to get some damn peace."

"Oh, really? That the best you got?" Hangman taunted.

The breezy jovial feeling that had filled the air of the jet just moments before had gone stale, and instead a thick layer of smog-like anger had fallen over the aircraft cockpit. The temperature within had surely gone up by at least a few degrees with all the red hot words flying from Phoenix's mouth into her mic.

Bob's cheeks glowed to a flaming red as he listened to the two pilots bickering, entire body tense, helpless to remove himself from the mid-air argument, just waiting for the right moment to interject. He’d been in this situation many times before—he knew the drill. But that didn't make him any less uncomfortable. "Okay, c’mon, guys—" he began timidly, yet a level of assertion still came through in his voice.

"Great work, aviators!" Mav’s voice came like a shock over the radio, squashing the argument before it could manage to turn physical. No student had died on Mav's watch so far, and he wasn't looking to change that any time soon. Especially because 'purposeful collision due to mid-flight training disagreement' would not go over well on an accident report. "Let’s get these birds back on the ground. It’s quitin' time!"

--

Steam filled the empty locker room. Phoenix breathed deeply as she stepped out of the shower. She always felt like she had gained a new life after her shower at the end of each day; the amount of sweat produced under those flight suits was ungodly. She also liked to imagine that the boiling water was washing away all the boys’ BS that she had gone through that day. She loved, almost, all of them—though she’d never tell them that—but being the only girl on a team of men, Navy men, was rough. She was sure at least two of them truly were raised in a barn, and she knew Bob and Rooster were the only ones who even knew what the word "filter" meant.

She thought on her boys fondly, unable to hold back her smile, as she toweled off her hair behind the emotional privacy of the her locker door. She'd never dare show this side to them. This was still the military, after all, and she was still a woman. No matter how many times she proved herself tougher than the men around her, her and soft emotions were not allowed to coexist without ridicule. Wiping the condensation off of the mirror, she looked at her own face in the tinny glass, it had been hardened over her time in the Navy, and it reminded her of the look of rage on Hangman’s as they clambered back into the hanger. She laughed lightly. That was without a doubt the best thing she’d seen in weeks. She wished she could’ve had it photographed so she could look at it when she was having a bad day.

She didn’t truly hate the cocky pilot, but she had been nearing the line between it and mere distaste with his recent antics. After their first mission together, it had seemed like all grudges between any of the Daggers had been squashed; Hangman and Bob had been fully civil up until a couple weeks ago when Hangman decided to make the younger pilot his verbal target practice. Everyone had noticed the shift, but no one could tell exactly what triggered it. Bob had finally started to stand up for himself in the past couple days, which Phoenix was thankful for because any time anyone else said anything to Hangman, the treatment just got worse. It needed to end, and soon. Phoenix was ready to string Hangman up, but she knew acting out would only risk getting both her and Bob disciplined. She didn’t know what she was going to do. But she was sure as hell going to do something.

She finished getting ready to head home and slung her backpack over her shoulder. She tossed her hair into a loose bun as she walked out of the lockers, preparing to face the scorching heat already constantly present even this early into the California summer. Fanboy intercepted her in the hall outside the locker rooms. His face immediately told her that whatever he was about to say wasn’t another corny joke about his favorite tv series.

"There’s something you should know," he said.

--

"BAGMAN!"

Lt. Jake "Hangman" Seresin might not have finished at the very top of his classes, but he was smart enough to know that that yell could only mean one thing: he was about to get the chew out of a lifetime from one Lt. Natasha "Phoenix" Trace. He pulled his signature toothpick out of his mouth before turning on his heel to see the livid brunette storming down the hall, fire ablaze in her eyes.

If anyone else had been in the vicinity, they would've sworn they felt the temperature shift.

"What the hell, Hangman?" Phoenix barked, shoving a hand roughly into his chest, and sending the unprepared man stumbling back a couple steps with an unsophisticated mix between a "WOAH!" and "HEY!"

"What do you mean ‘what the hell'?" Hangman shot back, gathering himself and stepping forward, squaring his broad shoulders towards her. "You can't just attack a man without telling him what he did to provoke it."

Phoenix's face was now inches from his. Hangman could feel the rage on the heat of her breath.

"Watch me," she said, her voice dripping with venom. "Don't even start that crap with me. You know full well what you did."

"Humor me." Hangman said with the same tone he would have used in a casual conversation with a friend, which this situation very much was not.

There was finger in his face. He pretended there wasn't, looking past it directly into Phoenix's face.

"I am so fed up with your immature little grudge against, Bob."

"I didn't know I ever had one."

Hangman's tone was aloof, and it drove Phoenix crazy. How could he be such a prick? All she wanted to do was punch him in the jaw. She didn’t know why she always felt like she was about to explode with Hangman, no one else made it so difficult for her to keep her emotions in check, but she held it together—this time. She wasn't going to make herself any promises for the future.

"You two were supposed to be cool after the mission, I thought you had agreed to lay off him! I don't know who you think you are, but Bob is just as, if not more, qualified as any of us to be here. And you know it! But your fragile little ego just can't take that he's smarter than you, can it?" She practically spat the last words, ensuring they hit Hangman square in the face.

Phoenix saw his eyes soften for just a second and knew that she'd hit a nerve, but his expression didn’t change. He just continued to look at her with that same stupid, smug expression he always wore.

"And I have laid off him. He's not my concern any longer." He shrugged, popped the toothpick he'd been holding back into his mouth, and started to turn away. Phoenix forcefully grabbed his arm.

Her grip was stronger than Hangman assumed it would be.

"Really? 'Cause that's not what it looked like to Fanboy when he saw you corner him in the lockers after that last flying exercise. He said you looked ready to throttle Bob before he stepped in. That's low, even for you. We got you fair and square in that exercise. If you don't want to lose, try not making stupid mistakes. And one more thing," Phoenix said, leaning into Hangman's face, fists clenched so tightly at her sides they were pure red. "If you ever try taking your sore loss out on Bob again, we will be having a very different conversation that will not be much of a conversation at all."

"Is that a threat, Trace?" Hangman said coolly, a smirk on his face.

"It's a promise," Phoenix snapped, pushing past him forcefully, her shoulder smacking into his.

Hangman dropped his head and laughed, his tongue twirling the toothpick in his mouth. Head still lowered, he called after the receding footsteps, "Wow, I didn't know you had a heart, but since you clearly care so much about him, I'll leave Bob alone."

The footsteps stopped. Hangman turned to face them, shaking his head lightly.

"But it's gonna cost you."

Phoenix cocked one eyebrow in an ‘I knew this was coming' fashion.

"Really?" She said, crossing her arms over her chest, taking a step closer.

"Really." Hangman shot back joyfully, also taking a step closer. He was clearly enjoying this.

"Fine. I'll bite. What's your price?"

"Go on a date with me."

Phoenix scoffed, staring at him agape as if she hadn't heard him correctly or refused to believe he'd actually said what she thought he said.

"That's the worst joke you've ever made, Bagman, and you've made a lot of bad jokes." She scoffed again as she turned and continued toward the exit.

"Maybe because it wasn't a joke." There wasn't a drop of sarcasm in his voice.

"You’ve got to be kidding me," said Phoenix, turning back to him again.

"You want me to leave Bob alone? That's my price. One date, and we'll never have this issue again. I promise." He held up three fingers in a "scouts honor" kind of way.

"You’re insufferable, Bagman," Phoenix said. With that, she turned and walked down the hallway, silently fuming.