#there is no such character in bsd canon nor in the canon of any other show in the history of the world chuuya is HIM

[garbagepapi]

I'm still on my fucking how did dazai realistically plan this agenda, because there is no way he thinks THAT far ahead, be so fucking for real right now.

"Hey babe, imma be locked away in a prison soon and this insane clown dude is going to make me and the russian rat man play a death game, so i need you to be a real one and come in vampire cosplay, pretend to be rat mans little bitch and then ill drown you but just for a bit but you then fake kill me, thnx boo."

Absolutely not, from this point on i'm team chuuya just decided to show up in vampire cosplay on his own volition and dazai just went "okay cool, that works ig" and played along accordingly.

[originalaccountname]

Do you have any thoughts or insights about tanizaki? We’ve known him for so long but I feel like I still know little to nothing about him 😭

That was the truth. He had made it this far in life because he was easily swayed by others. He went along with Kunikida’s scheme because he was asked to, and he was going to play the bomber because that was the role shoved onto him. Despite having a slightly bizarre skill, he wasn’t great in combat like the other agents, nor was he especially cunning. Tanizaki didn’t have any mortal enemies, nor did he have a dark past or any trauma. He was an ordinary guy. The only thing he really even wished for was his little sister’s happiness. - A Day at the Detective Agency (from The Untold Origins of the Detective Agency light novel)

Tanizaki sees himself as a pretty average guy, as someone without a notable past or fancy skills... and as a pushover. He doesn't really have convictions besides "Naomi" and goes along just about anything. But...

Tanizaki is the person who comes the closest to “evil” among all the Detective Agency employees. This is what I always tell everyone involved in this work. [...] [...] Tanizaki hit the enemy with the truck of a civilian who happened to pass by. By doing that, the truck would be completely destroyed and the driver would not be able to come out intact. But Tanizaki couldn’t care less about such things. Because for him, justice, morality or peace for the people, all come after his “sister”. - Asagiri, for the bsd expo (source and complete translation)

Tanizaki is canonically leaning on the "evil" side of bsd's grey morality. Since he has no bigger motivation than keeping Naomi safe, he'd do just about anything for her, no matter the price. He is in a good place, being at the Agency, where he is surrounded by people who do want to uphold great ideals and help others. However, he was also very quick to offer himself up as tribute to be transferred to the Port Mafia in Yosano's place. Again, he's a pushover at heart and lets himself drift around as the people around him see fit.

Naomi being his "sister" is probably a cover of some sort, since the book she's based on had exactly that (a scandalous marriage hidden behind a false, more familial relationship). Even our Naomi points out that she and Tanizaki look nothing alike (while groping him) and seems to make a show of their supposed relationship. There's no way they are actual blood siblings, and there definitely is a story behind that. There's also that book!Naomi was making her husband, who was obsessed with her, do whatever she pleased. It matches our Tanizaki's pushover nature and our Naomi's assertiveness, at least as inspiration.

That's about as much of an input we have of him at this time, but Kenji's backstory was just revealed, so surely Tanizaki's turn will come... his ability came from somewhere, he met Naomi somewhere, he got into the ADA someway/somehow... and even if it's ultimately not that eventful... well... characters can get their trauma during the story, instead of before...

[skreebs]

Thinking about the ableism toward Jouno in the BSD fandom and it genuinely pisses me off so badly I want to hit people. I’ll be perusing the tag and looking at stuff and then I’ll see some random pop ups for AO3 and get shit like this

Now I don’t 100% know the context of this screenshot, for all I know this fic could be about him before he lost his sight, but either way it got me thinking and thinking got me angry and being angry means i need to complain. Jouno is already pretty shit blind rep, I’ll be honest. He’s the basic stereotype of “blind character has super senses because they’re blind” but can we give blind people literally ANYTHING else??? jesus christ. I’m pissed how BSD writes his blindness so as per usual I had to attempt to fix all of that myself, but attempting to fix it and removing it entirely are NOT the same and one is VERY MUCH SO WORSE. Again, not talking about this fic specifically but other ones I’ve seen that do this, or those “Jouno if he could see” edits. Spoiler alert, blind people can open their eyes.

I dont know why BSD and every other piece of media is so adamant on not giving visually impaired and blind characters white canes and just giving them "super senses" to get around it. It’s incredibly stupid and abelist to portray stuff like this. Disabilities are not super powers and thank GOD they didnt make that his ability but they still gave him that aspect and I guess it can be excused with SOME lore stuff like maybe he got really good senses from his surgeries but it just sucks that it happened that way at all? And then they don't even touch on how horrible having incredibly hightened senses to the point you can HEAR blood would be?? can you imagine hearing everyone internal organs around you 24/7 EVERYDAY? No one talks about that at all. That would be so fucking overwhelming its genuinely insane. Jouno is such a dear character to me, but genuinely when I remember him in canon without any of my headcanon explinations it’s just really sad that all I can say about him as representation is "well.. it could be worse".

I know there’s going to be at least one person saying “theres good blind rep in other shows though!!” Yes! I know! I’m super glad about that! But ignoring the bad ones doesn’t help much. You need to point out the issues to get good results. Recently, and by recently I mean about 17 hours ago, I watched/listened to the first episode of Daredevil, once with audio descriptions, and then after I watched without AD and had captions. I’m super glad that things are more commonly getting AD—it’d be a bit pathetic if the show with a blind main character was not accessible to blind people—but even with Daredevil, Matt still falls a bit into this stereotype.

Don’t get me wrong, seeing a character with a white cane has me absolutely elated, but from the single episode I’ve seen and what I’ve heard, he apparently also has some sort of super senses, and I know in the first episode he can hear heartbeats. I think super senses as a power is fine, but it’s just the fact they always give it to the blind characters. I, myself, am not blind, nor am I really visually impaired, I just wear glasses. However, as someone with a special interest in disabilities and also as someone that is disabled in other ways, seeing disabled rep fall into stereotypes over and over just really bums me out sometimes.

I think Daredevil is great so far from this one episode, I’ll probably be looking at more of it, but that is definitely just one gripe I have with it. I think Charlie Cox putting a bunch of effort into the role with the method acting and talking to people in the blind community and just all of that is amazing, I love to see that in anything, it’s just urrghh that it’s so hard to find a blind character that doesn’t have some kind of insane superpower senses with things. It reminds me of when characters with autism are so frequently portrayed as geniuses or their autism is only acceptable if it helps the neurotypical cast with “gadgets” or something. I dunno. Hard to explain, it’s 11 at night and I’m tired. Just don’t be ableist in any fandom or in real life. I shouldn’t have to even point out why this shit is disgraceful.

[cios-correct-opinions]

@starrynightarchive

big ol tl;dr for anyone looking:

if ppl "not appreciating" female characters by creating content for them bc they don't want to bothers you that much? there's only one thing you can and should do:

MAKE YOUR OWN CONTENT OR APPRECIATION POSTS OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU THINK PEOPLE SHOULD DO INSTEAD AND STOP DEMANDING PEOPLE CHANGE THEIRS. IF YOUR FANDOM SPACE IS LACKING IN CONTENT YOU WANNA SEE? MAKE IT. DO IT. NOTHING'S STOPPING YOU EXCEPT YOURSELF.

but if you don't wanna do that and you don't wanna pay someone to, then stop complaining.

(note re: the discourse thing/me wanting to "start discourse": i only reblogged onto my "discourse" sideblog bc i didn't want this on my main blog. not bc i think it's automatically discourse. political stuff just goes over here now so i can keep the things more separated for my own sake)

op of the post blocked me but im genuinely baffled at this response

because how in the fuck did you gather ANY of that from me saying this

brother all i did was define what the word means. like i am so baffled as to how you decided that i was implying op was transphobic or some shit bc i absolutely was not!

nor was i trying to start discourse. i was literally just saying that, in my experience in the circles i'm in and the people i've seen, doing both is possible and they often do both. i'm not a huge fan of cis genderbends myself in any direction because if i'm gonna genderbend they're gonna be trans given that i am also trans

and then theres this that i said

which everyone seems to have completely ignored. bc that's the crux of this. it's not that they dislike the canon women it's that they want to take their blorbos they love the most and girl them because that's how fandom works. it's about self indulgence. fandom is supposed to be you doing what you love the most, and engaging with the characters you love the most, bc it's about fun

why are yall trying to force people to post abt characters they may not care for for a number of reasons? bc thats what this feels like. it feels like you want ppl to talk abt, post abt, write abt, draw abt, etc, characters they are not super passionate for, simply bc you believe they should, bc you think what they do in fandom is some kind of formula for their like, actual real world beliefs

i genuinely cannot stress enough to you guys that most peoples actions in fandom are almost entirely divorced from any political meaning. or at least, they were, until people started acting like that was a sin actually and that if you liked this character or if you liked too many male characters and not enough female ones that means youre secretly a misogynist who just hates women so much because you don't post about them all the time

most of my fandom blorboposting ends up being about a handful of any random assortment of characters because that's who my brain latches on to, but that doesn't say shit about my feelings about any other character. specifically in bsd, i mostly post and talk about literally two of the characters WAY more than the others bc they are my favorites. this includes ALL the other characters, just about. most of my fanworks are for them and will continue to be for them because they are my OTP and my top two in this series.

why is this important?

because someone genderbending a male character or multiple of them in order to see a CHARACTER THEY ALREADY THINK ABOUT 24/7 AND LIKE A LOT AND HAVE A DEEP ATTACHMENT TO, as a woman, does not mean they don't love and appreciate the canon women. holy shit. that's what i was criticizing in the original post.

also like. most of the ppl doing the genderbending i see are either women or like, somehow woman-aligned, or wlw/attracted to women in some way, etc. and most of them are making these genderbends bc theyre attracted to the canon character. it's self-indulgence it's ALMOST ALWAYS self-indulgence guys it's FANDOM that's what it's FOR you CANNOT FORCE SOMEONE TO CARE ABOUT A CHARACTER FOR ANY REASON AND STILL MAKE AN ETHICAL ARGUMENT OUT OF IT JFC

it wasn't meant to be discourse on my end either. i was trying to offer an alternate reason or perspective of approaching what op seemed to think was an issue given the wording of the post, by offering my personal experience. i also never said op was wrong, by the way, my expression of disbelief was also put alongside me going "maybe it's just the people i follow" because i tend to follow people who, when they do genderbends, are also avid fans of the canon women too, they just like the men they're genderbending more. hence why they're doing that.

this expectation within fandom that people must create content of female characters - or ANY characters - lest they be accused of despising them or not appreciating them is going to be the death of fandom and i'm so fucking serious. you CANNOT insist people spend their time making shit for FREE that they aren't 100% jazzed and excited about in FANDOM SPACES and then get mad when they don't do that and expect fandom to be something that continues for generations as it has in the past

and for the record seeing as how op reblogged with this which. where do i even start lmao. ik they've written me off as a woman-hating misogynist so i'm not expecting good faith arguments in response from them but, c'est la vie

[mania-sama]

Random ask, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in any media, like anime/manga, tv series, books, etc (can be canon or non-canon)? Feel free if you want to write the reasons or not of why you love them....

Thank you so much for sending in an ask! I would love to answer this question! I didn't go through every fandom I've been in, though I went through quite a few!!! Usually, there is only one ship I really love in a fandom that ends up being my favorite, but I like/love plenty of ships and don't limit myself to just one ship. I will say that when it comes to engaging with fandom and fanfiction, I tend to actually prefer platonic relationships, centered on found family and blood-related family than anything else.

Bungou Stray Dogs -> Shin Soukoku (Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi). I think most of this comes from the way they are quite literally yin and yang (my favorite symbol of all time) in almost every aspect. I firmly believe Asagiri is beating us over the head with a mallet saying "Look! Look what I did! Please look!" I'm under no impression that they will be canon, but BEAST gives me the hope that they can at least become friends, and that's testament enough to the development they go through. There is just so much there. I'm not an enemies to lovers person, but for them, I make the exception. There are so many parallels to draw between them, so much to look at and really dig into. I'm not delusional enough to say they wouldn't be toxic (all of the BSD ships except for, like, RanPoe, are toxic let's be real), but I am lenient enough to say that they can be good to each other in fanfics and decent friends in canon. Also, this applies to their BEAST counterparts, too. BEAST makes them better.

Jujutsu Kaisen -> ItaFushi (Fushiguro Megumi/Itadori Yuuji). There is a sort of trend I have with shipping, I think. I tend to like the second most popular ship, usually the younger generation of the most popular ship, which is arguably a form of torture in and of itself. JJK is not as bad as the BSD fandom is about the popularity difference, but it's still painful. Anyway, I think my love for this ship stems from the fact that Megumi has a big fat crush on Itadori and I will accept, under no circumstances, any other interpretations of his relationship with Itadori. Everything from the SatoSugu parallels (who are one handhold away from being canon let's be real), to their whole shtick being to save each other (physically and mentally), to Megumi literally describing Itadori as his type of person. Gender neutral. Even though it is so incredibly easy to use gendered terms in Japanese as it is in English. I feel like Gege is doing this on purpose because there is just no way he sees this as normal friend stuff. Recent chapters got me in a chokehold. I am SCARED. Besides all this, I think they just work very well together. They are also horribly tragic. Perfect combination.

Genshin Impact -> Xiaother (Aether/Xiao). I debated pretty heavily with myself here on what my true favorite is. I came to this conclusion mainly for one reason: Xiao. I love Aether, but I love Xiao. He is my favorite character, right next to Razor, so obviously he carries this ship. I also think that, of all of the implied relationships Genshin has supplied in plenty, Xiaother has had the most development. Every scene with them is better than the last, and the way that they make each other better is something I adore. And as for the ship being specifically Aether and not Lumine or nonspecific, it's because I chose Aether, so I'm more accustomed to using him as the traveler vessel rather than Lumine, but I'm honestly fine with either.

Identity V -> Elisop (Aesop Carl | Embalmer/Eli Clark | Seer). I haven't played this game in a hot minute for storage and laptop reasons, and I'm also not updated with the lore (nor was I entirely familiar with it from the beginning, outside of the MAIN main lore). But this ship and game were a huge part of my personal development, I think, and I do want to return to playing it in an honest effort eventually (I WANT MY ROBBIE RANK BACK). I think I perceive it differently than other people do, mainly because people oscillate between two sides of the Aesop Carl characterization spectrum. But there is something really fun in the idea that Eli, with his ability to see the future, thinks that he can somehow "fix" Aesop, under the impression that his and Getrude's relationship will never mend. And Aesop, who sees Eli and feels real love for the first time, finds that he doesn't know if he wants to kill and embalm Eli, or if he wants to indulge in this feeling called love. Toxic, probably. Their color schemes also match very well together (which is actually what led me to ship them in the first place, before fandom influence), and they are extremely compatible gameplay-wise.

Haikyuu -> IwaOi (Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru). If you told me two or so years ago that this was my favorite Haikyuu ship, I would have LAUGHED IN YOUR FACE. I hated Oikawa and didn't care much about Seijou. But then. But then. I went through a like. Month-long Haikyuu revival not too long ago and only read IwaOi fics because I came to this revelation. Oikawa is really goddamn relatable. I think we are all, in a sense, Oikawa, at one point or another. He is THE teenager. He is someone you can project every single one of your problems onto because his struggles with being untalented and unworthy are interchangeable with pretty much any self-worth conflict: internalized homophobia, eating disorders, socializing, etc. Iwaizumi can also provide these internal debates, but in a context with Oikawa makes it even better. Does Oikawa carry this ship for me? Yes. I don't care what you think I'm not here to defend myself.

Voltron: Legendary Defenders -> Klance (Keith Kogane/Lance McClain). Do NOT talk to me. They have ruined my life in pretty much every aspect. Also an exception to the not shipping thing because they are kinda the whole reason I even watched this show past season... three probably. I don't even wanna talk about them anymore because it'll just upset me. Just know that as far as the Sheith vs Klance debate goes, Sheithers are wrong for that after Keith called Shiro his brother. There. I added my fuel to the ever-burning garbage fire that is Voltron shipping. I may talk about Klance again in the future but for now I wanna leave my thoughts off here.

Merlin BBC -> Merthur (Arthur Pendragon/Merlin). Thank you Merthur fandom for teaching me what a good fic is supposed to taste like. They are kind of the epitome of the ships I tend to gravitate to: TRAGIC. The ending of Merlin is traumatizing and the fact that all of the cast pretty shipped it (as well as you can see the faint mouthing of the words "I love you" in the final death scene) is like. The first true healthy immersion into a ship I've ever had. I never obsessed over them too hard, I think, but Merlin is still my favorite live-action show, and Merthur is always well and true to my heart. They also got me introduced to the master/servant trope in terms of medieval times, and I had a very long affinity for it in fanfiction. I don't like it as much anymore, but I look upon that time with happiness rather than the usual slight embarrassment.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power -> Catradora (Adora/Catra). I also make an exception for enemies to lovers for them because they even added that extra-friendly step of friends to enemies to lovers. Genuinely, no show surprised me as much as She-Ra did. Shout out She-Ra for giving me the worst envy I've ever felt in my life. I want to rock a suit as well as Catra did in that one scene. Anyway, I loved their development. I know some people criticize it for being rushed towards the end, but I like the way they were able to forgive Catra so easily. They understood what it meant to be used and manipulated, what it meant to be unable to fight against oppressive forces. People are mad at compassion, even though that's the literal whole point of She-Ra. Whatever. They could never make me hate you Catradora.

Percy Jackson (all book series) -> Percabeth (Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson). The blueprint. That's it. That's all you gotta know. I don't read fics about them because there is nothing to improve upon. One of the best written series and best written romances of all time. It was basically everything Avatar: The Last Airbender failed to do with Kataang (sorry for ragging on them for a second but that's the only thing I didn't like about ATLA; the romances) failed to accomplish, with all the same in-depth and wonderful characters. Like, they are everything I aspire to have in a relationship. The way they are simply meant for each other and aren't rushed, but are always implied to have that cutesy young crushes until they finally got together. I love them. Ugh. Uncle Rick you win again.

Anyway, these were some of my favorite ships of all time!! Sorry, I blabbered a lot. Probably listed more ships than you meant to but I take whatever opportunity I can to talk about things I enjoy IN DEPTH. There were also a lot of M/M romances, which, I swear to God, just happened out that way. I love plenty of F/F and F/M relationships, they just rarely end up as my top favorite. DO NOT accuse me of anything because I WILL NOT hear it.

[wtowingedtragicobsidian]

Jedediah Leger ref

some concept sketches of my BSD oc. they were supposed to just be a character design exercise but then they overtook my life.

Name: Jedediah Leger

Allegiance: none (ex-Port Mafia, canon timeline will eventually give them ties with several organizations)

Occupations: for hire (usually as a killer but they will do anything) (while in the mafia: body disposal, morticians/doctors apprentice)

Gender: nonbinary (they/them)

Age: 26 (biologically stuck in 20)

Hight: 6ft (183 cm)

Skills: combat/killing experience, medical knowledge, singing

Likes: live music, poetry, bodies of water, killing, dead bodies(*in a medical fascination way, not necrophilia*), cats, whiskey, good quality items, Yokohama, knives, small talk, crossdressing, strawberry macaroons, coffee, Doc

Dislikes: morgues, hospitals, kids, tourists, the Port Mafia, Mori, Chuuya (they have some lingering resentment bc of trauma, Chuuya doesn't know who they are), churches, holidays, stray dogs, croissants

(tbh they feel indifferent to most things or mildly uncomfortable, even their likes are bittersweet)

Ability: Fear of God

~Conditional non combative ability~

Condition 1: “invitation” of some kind by the victim. Ex: eye contact, initiating conversation, physical contact

Condition 2: victim must have some kind of guilt/shame/paranoia. (Something that they are afraid of others finding out and/or of facing themselves)

Effects: if both conditions are meet Jedidiah can amplify those feelings to fear/guilt/terror accompanied by hallucinations of biblical proportion, generally inducing a brief psychotic break and/or catatonic state. (Only Jedidiah and the victim can see these delusions. The nature of hallucinations and aftereffects vary widely from person to person.)

The ability itself is primarily dangerous bc it leaves the victim prone/vulnerable, allowing an opening for attack. However, it’s also dangerous bc the voyeuristic nature of the delusions allows Jedidiah to deduce what the victim feels bad about and use that as blackmail. (As well as the emotional rattling being a victim of Fear of God is sure to give.)

Ability: The Undying Breath. This is an ability they have been under the effects of for 6 years (since they were 20). *NOT THEIR OWN ABILITY*

~The person’s body who is affected by the Undying Breath is trapped in an undead state, not dying, or decaying but no longer able to progress forward biologically. It can only be used on one person at a time ~

Under its effects they no longer need to eat, breathe, sleep (but they can choose to do so, it’s just no longer an automatic bodily demand, nor does neglect of it have any negative effects).

They also no longer age, heal, have a heartbeat, feel pain, feel things (tactile & temp, their psychology is not directly affected by the ability), taste/smell (expect if those senses accompany a delusion from Fear of God). *they can register pressure if it's significantly applied

Under this ability they cannot be killed, at least by conventional means. If their body is destroyed to unusability they will be “dead”. (dismemberment, burning, explosions, acid).

[theforestsongz]

MY THOUGHTS ON SOME POINTS OF BSD FANDOM DISCOURSE ON TIKTOK

BEFORE YOU READ: DON'T FUCKING CREATE GRAPHIC CONTENT (LIKE FANFICS OR ESPECIALLY DRAWINGS) OF CSA AND POST IT ONLINE. EVEN IF IT'S OF FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. DUH. I DON'T CONDONE THAT AND IT CAN BE USED TO ABUSE ACTUAL CHILDREN. IT ALSO DESENSITIZES YOU TO THIS HORRIBLE FORM OF VIOLENCE WHICH IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.

TW: discussions of CSA and its effects, physical abuse, psychological abuse

1. "Mori is/isn't a pedo!" in my opinion this doesn't really matter. I don't care if he is attracted to kids or "just" has an unusual fascination with underage girls. He is canonically shown systematically abusing children, making them commit crimes for him, enlisting them in the mafia etc. THIS IS NOT NORMAL FUCKING BEHAVIOR AND IS ABUSING HIS POWER OVER KIDS. God I can't believe I have to say that.

Also, the way he talks about girls *is* weird. Yes the original line is "I only protect those under 12", but there are more instances of his. odd fascination being mentioned, by Fukuzawa and himself, and people are definitely allowed to dislike him for this. I especially hate the "Elise calling him a pervert lolicon is a joke/teasing!" point because it hits home for me personally. I used to "joke" like that about my abuser since it was dangerous to tell her how I was really feeling

2. "Headcanons of Kyouya or Dazai having experienced SA in their port mafia days is disgusting!"

I disagree with this somewhat. Most of the time the people making these headcanons are children or teenagers in situations where they can't express emotions about their abuse in their actual life with a support system and therapist. Latching onto characters who already have a canonical history of (organized) abuse would make sense. I don't think SA should be this unspeakable thing especially in situations like this, since a good majority of OA victims are SA survivors.

There's also the fact both of them canonically have using their body as an instinct when they're in a situation where someone with power over them threatens to harm them or take away rights. This can be read as a fawn response.

With these points and the fact the work No Longer Human by the real author Dazai Osamu has undertones of betrayal trauma and CSA as well, I don't think it's strange as a hc at all. Creating glamorizing content and "silly" videos about this serious topic as well as any abuse for that matter is horrible, but survivors seeing themselves in certain behaviors Kyouka or Dazai or any other BSD character has and headcanoning accordingly isn't.

Now, with this I do have to say that I think it unwise to post these headcanons on public platforms. It shows things about your mental state that shouldn't be broadcasted online and it's unsafe. And like I said before, any glamorizing or fetishizing content will hurt both you and fellow survivors or otherwise vunerable people.

Most of the other current BSD discourse is people shaming each other for liking/disliking characters and I don't have much to say about that nor do I care. I just wanted to talk about these two points since they hit close to home for me as a traumatized person who sees themselves in a lot of Port Mafia characters and Atsushi (who I need to make a whole seperate post on cuz holy shit i love that boy/p)

[karmaisahumanbeing]

" I heard this app is pretty popular in Yokohama... So, uh, I'm here now?

Right, I guess I have to introduce myself! My name's Karma, and I used to work for the Port Mafia, but I got out of that work thanks to a kind stranger!

I hope to make some more friends in Yokohama now that I'm actually allowed to talk to people, heh.. "

// (info) OOC:

Alrighty, welcome to my first canon character rp blog! I also run @therestingplaceof and @himurasmenagerie and @assistantkoji !! I'm very excited to be introducing.. (drum roll).... Karma~!

Karma's blog is welcoming to any other bsd characters and ocs! everyone of any kind is welcome here!

I cannot find Karma's age for the life of me, nor any other information for that matter, so I've taken the liberty of declaring him ~18-19, using any pronouns other than "it", and alive, of course.

On the topic of his death, he remembers Fyodor "releasing" him, but assumes it was just a sleeping ability since he woke up hours later in bed. He doesn't know that he died, and if you tell him, he probably won't believe you without proof!

Ships are welcome, but I imagine Karma as someone who doesn't pick up hints very well. I also ask for the person flirting with him to be of age, of course. proshippers dni, thanks !!

also, no nsfw!! I am not comfortable with it!

more about karma?

thanks for reading all of that rambling,

signing off,

- Yin.

[asachuu]

(4/10)

Part 3: Fifteen

Content warning: major Fifteen light novel spoilers.

[List of all parts]

[Part 2]

This may be a far, far shorter section than you would expect from me as we don’t get too much to analyze in Fifteen, compared to Stormbringer later on. I will not be summarizing the entire novel, since I have stated before that I’m going into this assuming my readers have seen both books already. This is merely a summary of the most important things which occurred that I will be referencing/referring to in terms of Rimlaine as a ship itself, and also to bring up details that could have been missed along the way if the reader wasn’t focused on them.

I would also like to add an additional note before I begin— as for Fifteen, I am only talking about the events of the written novel, not the anime adaptation of it. I believe I make this explicitly clear everywhere when I say “novel”, but I’m aware some people still may think of those two as the same or similar to each other and don’t actually distinguish between the two, even when I directly state which piece of media it is. I need for it to be said before going to write about any canonical events, solely to avoid statements such as “I remember watching something else”, “when did that even happen”, etc., considering the anime could practically be interpreted as its own separate story. Additionally, this will also apply here if an anime adaptation for Stormbringer is released, as I can’t say I have any faith in a short, animated version’s ability to not cut out or twist extremely crucial or important details from such a long novel either to save space, budget or provide fanservice, just as it did in S3.

So then, what exactly do we establish in Fifteen?

Part 3.1: the fight and Arthur’s memories

Despite talking about this novel and a major part of Arthur’s character, I will not be going over the entire section where he gets introduced into the BSD universe, nor where he explains his initial recollection of events about the Arahabaki incident. Instead, I will skip right into the fight with Dazai and Chuuya. Why? Because, to put it simply, the former parts have absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand. As much as I could talk about them for a rather long time, they provide me with no information I could give out in terms of Arthur’s relation to Paul, which is the sole focus here.

Now, during the fight in the second half of the novel, we get to learn of Arthur’s true identity, as well as his purpose in Japan. His initial mission was to research “Arahabaki” and take it back to his home country alive, however his intent had changed significantly over time. He had no longer planned to take Chuuya, or rather, “Arahabaki” back alive, rather deciding to kill him— as we learn further on, this was not done due to a simple desire for violence, power or anything of this kind. In fact, that would go against his whole character, as it’s not only implied, but also outright stated by him he doesn’t truly want to go along with it and does certainly feel remorse for his actions…so then, what might his reasoning possibly be?

That reasoning was Chuuya’s memories. Eight years ago, when he was sent on this very mission, he wasn’t alone. Here, we learn of another character, one who supposedly accompanied him and worked with him, according to his vague recollections. Arthur had long since forgotten what happened to that person, whether he died or survived the Arahabaki explosion— all he remembered was the two being partners, even “best friends”, as he referred to him. Unsurprisingly, Arthur wished to know what happened to someone so important to him, especially after eight years of having no possibility of finding this out, and due to Chuuya/Arahabaki being present at the time of the two still being together, he believed he could retrieve his lost memories by taking in Chuuya’s ability, though unfortunately, that could only be done if Chuuya was killed. It wasn’t an act of anything other than simply a desperate wish to know what happened to an old friend of his, even if it now went against his actual mission. Despite his amnesia, desires and even his own orders, he still cared about his partner strongly enough to try and go through with his plan. That plan, however, failed.

Just as Arthur thought he succeeded in their altercation, with Chuuya seemingly not being able to fight back any longer after being heavily injured, he was fatally stabbed through by a scythe he used to pin the redhead to the ground. Instead of Chuuya’s ability itself, that was the action which made him remember the true events of his past. In his final moments, he states he was betrayed by his partner at the last minute, who is now revealed to be named Paul Verlaine. According to him, Paul had tried to kill him, and thus it’s implied he had to defend himself. In his recollection of events, he believes to be the one who ended his partner’s life, and while he does not explicitly state this himself, as I assume he wasn’t even able to, he hints at it. This part of Fifteen ends with Arthur passing away, thinking about Paul in his very last thoughts.

Part 3.2: Paul’s appearance

This is a part which many people are not aware of– Paul’s actual appearance in Fifteen after Arthur’s death, which was not even mentioned a single time in Fifteen’s animated rendition. It will most definitely be a very short summary, given it is a rather short part itself, yet it’s quite crucial to my points.

The section revolves around Paul getting into the Port Mafia’s office during nighttime. As he himself claims, it was to retrieve a document of “[his] best friend’s life”. One could even begin to think he did care about Arthur the same way he was clearly cared for by the latter just with that line alone, yet the rest of his dialogue entirely disproves this.

I could certainly point to his proclamation of Arthur’s memory being “interesting” due to him having mistakenly remembered ending Paul’s life, seemingly being amused by it with such wording, but there’s a far more glaring example of this that does not require any amount of analyzing whatsoever. Following this, he then goes on to thank Chuuya for killing his former partner on his behalf before stating he wishes to meet him. Even if one was to reach for rather far-fetched assumptions, there is no grief or regret expressed by him to be found at any point during this specific part, rather the opposite— this was supposedly what he wanted to see happen. The section ends with him disappearing into the night, confirming a sequel to the novel.

[Part 3.3]

[linklethehistorian]

Alright, so, first of all, before I say anything else, let’s get just two things perfectly straight, in no uncertain terms: while, as you will be reading very soon enough in the rest of the post, Cherish is indeed many things, what it is very decidedly and explicitly not is a case of the author’s personal projection, nor is it a story that is intended to be viewed through the lens of it being in any way about the author themself.

While I absolutely believe that both of these things are fine to do in a fic if one should wish to and that it can absolutely serve as a healthy way of processing past or present experiences and/or feelings, I do not want to leave room for anything of what I am about to share to be interpreted in such a way, as that is not what Cherish is, nor what I intend it to be.

Cherish is a story wholly and strictly about those who are in it, and the lore within it both as a whole and for individual character backgrounds is, wherever reasonably possible given all of the information available to us today, deeply rooted in either official canon (in regards to BSD and its characters) or historical fact (in regards to the real life Arthur Rimbaud) — with, of course, a few minor but very noticeable AU exceptions made surrounding the life of the latter, for the sake of the plot requiring it in order to function — and thus, while I do want to open up about some things to y’all, under no circumstances do I want the amount of careful and thorough research I have put into writing and portraying these things to simply be swept under the rug just because this new information might (very wrongly) inspire some people to assume it has anything to do with the characterization, character backgrounds, or the chosen themes of the story. It does not.

That being said, the reason why I chose this story to prioritize out of all of literal hundreds or thousands of other long pre-conceived tales I have to tell and the reason why I am so absolutely dedicated to and passionate about it — along with the obvious truth that I very simply just already do love it and all of the main characters and pairings within it — is partly because the subject matter is…in a lot of ways, also very close to my heart and personal to me.

I think I have expressed a few times in the past, at least in passing when discussing other matters and on a very surface level, that I myself am a victim of abuse, and while I don’t really want to go into that too deeply, I do want to make it known that Arthur (both versions in different ways, but especially the version that lived here in our world) and I share more than a few similarities in the things that we have had to go through, and, to an extent, the ways that we tend to cope with those matters.

If I were to list everything out here — if I were yet quite brave and bold enough to do that, which at this stage in my life, I am not certain that I am — you would see that they are all eerily similar, but I think even my saying this should clue you in to a lot of the possibilities, if you know much of what he endured.

And…it is especially that similarity and those personal life experiences and convictions of my own that drive me to pour so much of my soul into the writing of this fic, to express to all of you here and now that so much of those feelings I put into Cherish come not just from a place of canonical or historical accuracy, but also from the heart — from a deep, personal place that’s more than just “I’ve done my research on these concepts, but only from the outside looking in”; because a lot of the themes and emotions touched on in Cherish, the overarching storyline, and a lot of the questions that get asked and expressed are…extremely relatable to me especially at this particular point in my life, I take the portrayal of those very dark subjects that it covers more seriously than ever, and with a lot of personal thought, care, and understanding as a result.

I want people who maybe have been through similar — whether to my experiences or those portrayed therein — to be able to look at it and feel heard, seen, and understood, and to feel hope and comfort in it.

I don’t want to say much more on the subject, for the fear of giving away accidental spoilers, but…yes, while Cherish already existed in a time long prior to me being able to say I knowingly related to it, and it is not at all its reason for existing, nor the sole or even the primary reason why I adore it so, a lot of what I have to put into it while writing nevertheless comes from a very real, very raw, very honest, and extremely thoughtful place in my heart as someone who has not only done their research into someone else’s experiences and thoughts, but also has experienced many of the same firsthand — and the often lifelong struggles that can come with it, especially in the aftermath of escaping one’s such abusers.

Alright Cherish fans, I think it might be time for a little personal chat and confession time from your dear fic author, what do you think…?

(Don’t worry! It’s not any sort of bad news about the fic lol, it is still very much alive and in production.)

[graysongraysoff]

Fandom asks:

Jjk

Bsd

Batman

Cowboy beeboop

Stor wor

fandom ask meme!

(i have since been informed that jill would like me to do all evens for these so *CRACKS KNUCKLES*

jujutsu kaisen

2. which character do you look the most like?

uhhh, i guess probably maki?? girls with dark hair and glasses supremacy.

4. what is your favorite CANON ship?

satosugu yuta/rika :,)

6. when you first think of the fandom, what image comes to mind?

8. why did you join the fandom?

honestly i had just been watching a lot of anime over quarantine because one of my other friends had also been watching a lot of anime over quarantine, and i started with anime from when i was like in high school/college that i had wanted to check out but never did and then one day i was like "okay maybe i should watch like at least one current anime" and i picked jjk on a full whim and now it has quite literally taken over my life.

10. what song do you associate with a ship?

no i didn't make an entire 100-song playlist that is kinda jokey-jokey but also kinda serious full of songs i associate with a ship

the song "montage" by bares is a big satosugu song for me.

12. favorite hc for a ship, character, etc.

that megumi has been calling gojo "gojo-sensei" since he was six years old.

bungo stray dogs

2. which character do you look the most like?

hmmm probably like. ango???

4. what is your favorite CANON ship?

are there any?? canon ships in this??? if there are i must not be all that into them lol.

6. when you first think of the fandom, what image comes to mind?

i know i can't believe it's not canon either

8. why did you join the fandom?

because i have a bachelor's degree in english language and literature and i wanted to see f. scott fitzgerald with superpowers so fucking bad. (and for the record, i was not disappointed.)

10. what song do you associate with a ship?

again, there's no way jill and i made a whole playlist about this...

but "this is love" by air traffic controller is soukoku all the way down.

12. favorite hc for a ship, character, etc.

*clears throat and quotes my own fic*

When Dazai and Chuuya were kids in the Port Mafia there were only two times when certain acts of vulnerability were tacitly allowed between them: the week following one of Dazai’s suicide attempts and the week following a use of Corruption. They would patch each other up with neither a “please” nor a “thank you,” and while verbal jabs were still fair game they’d blunt the edges before hurling them. They’d each fall asleep wrapped in the other’s wiry limbs behind locks not even Mori could have cracked, and when the week was over they’d fall back into their old routines as if nothing had changed.

i understand that this is woobification i have terrible taste i will not improve that is a promise

batman

2. which character do you look the most like?

man idk. i'm just gonna go with helena bertinelli since we're both italian, lol.

4. what is your favorite CANON ship?

dickbabs!

6. when you first think of the fandom, what image comes to mind?

8. why did you join the fandom?

because i watched batman: the animated series as a toddler and imprinted on dick grayson.

10. what song do you associate with a ship?

"help me out" by maroon 5 and julia michaels is my dickbabs song.

12. favorite hc for a ship, character, etc.

dick grayson is a short king and all of his siblings are taller than him.

cowboy beepbeep

2. which character do you look the most like?

these just keep getting harder lol. i am not very well represented in the media i consume.

you know what? spike. fuck it.

4. what is your favorite CANON ship?

spike/julia oh my god

6. when you first think of the fandom, what image comes to mind?

answered!

8. why did you join the fandom?

answered!

10. what song do you associate with a ship?

you know what i don't actually have one of these right off the dome. a lot of soukoku songs could easily apply to spike/vicious but i won't cheat, lol.

honestly?? "just another girl" by the killers is a spike/julia mood.

12. favorite hc for a ship, character, etc.

answered!

stor wor

2. which character do you look the most like?

i have been told that i have the same "coloring" as jyn erso, whatever that means. this was in comparison to rey, as in "your coloring is more like jyn's than like rey's." they're both brunette white bitches though so idk. YOU decide, lol.

4. what is your favorite CANON ship?

*MEGAPHONE FEEDBACK* HAN/LEIA

6. when you first think of the fandom, what image comes to mind?

frankly,

8. why did you join the fandom?

i watched the phantom menace with my cousins while we were on a beach trip with my mom's side of the family and i decided that qui-gon jinn was my dad.

10. what song do you associate with a ship?

another one that i don't have a ready-made answer for! let us think.

this is an inside joke with me and jill but fuck it: "two birds" by regina spektor fits obikin better than That Other Ship People Keep Using It For

12. favorite hc for a ship, character, etc.

i truly cannot think of a single star wars headcanon i have........... any real estate star wars hcs may have taken up in my head has been replaced with star wars memes.....................

OH WAIT I KNOW it's that obi-wan can't sit like a normal person

[lowestechelonabomination]

hjjsdjdj all of them for bsd🥰🥰

1. which character do you relate to the most from your fandom?

Ango, but also Katai and Akutagawa. feel free to guess why

2. which character do you look the most like?

literally none of them. I'm just special like that. I do have extreme gender envy for Shibusawa though, which is probably at least somewhat tied to the fact that I've always thought long white/gray hair was really cool

3. what is your favorite ship?

I don't really actually ship any characters because aroace (I think I made a post roughly explaining what my opinion on ships as a whole is but I'm too lazy to dig it up), and also because I personally struggle to see how nearly any characters could genuinely have romantic feelings for other ones. like, I can read some more gen-like ship content and kinda agree with it, but I won't actually sit there shipping them. however, I do like sitting there and going "wow that's pretty gay". I just don't actually ship them. if that makes sense. so anyway, the only ship I can really see working out in a romantic way is higugin, for some reason

4. what is your favorite CANON ship?

there aren't any because BSD, so instead I'll go with one of my favorite platonic interactions: Chuuya and Akutagawa. I don't know why I like that particular friendship/mentorship so much. mom Chuuya in general is such a Concept. it's amazing

5. who is your favorite character (and maybe why?)

currently it's kinda a tie between Ango and Akutagawa, but Akutagawa is slowly being pushed aside because I have a gremlin brain that isn't very good at staying attached to things. I'll even let you in on a secret here: I'm not even really attached to BSD anymore, and haven't been for like a year at this point, I just find it really easy to consume content for because there are so many characters and it's ongoing. anyway, the reason Ango's my favorite is because I enjoy self projection. and as for Akutagawa...I don't know. I of course also gave him a healthy dose of projection, but I can't really remember what it was that drew me to him in the first place

6. when you first think of the fandom, what image comes to mind?

literally nothing, fandoms are intangible concepts

7. when did you join the fandom?

I wouldn't even really consider myself to be part of the fandom, I'm just an enjoyer who happens to also create content sometimes. also, how do you even join a fandom? it's not like it's a club you sign up for. is it even possible to pinpoint when you've joined a fandom? but I guess I have to answer the question somehow, so I'll say that I watched BSD in November/December 2021 after a friend told me to

8. WHY did you join the fandom???

having a bunch of characters and subplots makes it really easy to consume content for. that's it really

9. what is your favorite fanfic for the fandom?

I don't have a concrete favorite, so I'll just list off the first few I thought of:

Morning Light by FallenBrie

pretty much anything from advanced_fanatic, but specifically every tear-soaked whiskey memory blown away and Fukuzawa Yukichi's Home for Stray Dogs

A World Turned Sideways; must still continue on by Ranpo_Writer

Jealousy by Optical_Crown

nearly anything by CureIcy, if you're looking for found family fluff

and also my own fic, because self confidence is good sometimes, and this was so self indulgent that I still have brainrot for it

10. what song do you associate with a ship?

going to break the rules a little bit and instead tailor a response to you specifically, because I'm not the type to ship characters nor associate songs with them. you seem to really like soukoku and soft, sad songs, so IC3PEAK - КТО [WHO] would be a great choice

11. what song do you associate with a character (or 2)?

BONES - CtrlAltDelete (personally I prefer the proyectpure remix) can be applied to nearly any character. google the lyrics and see for yourself

12. favorite hc for a ship, character, etc.

I made a lot of headcanon posts in 2021 but I've suddenly forgotten all of them. anyway. uh. I don't have a favorite because I have so many. I literally wrote an 11k fic solely based on a headcanon I had. so I don't know, I can't really answer this. love assuming that characters are neurodivergent though

13. if you could be in the universe of the characters what would you do first?

besides leaving? ruining the DoA's plans I guess

[kaikaikitanmp3]

Excuse me while I toss a bunch of questions at you. I am all here for the rants.

How would you end BSD?

Would you change the ending of Death Note?

Unpopular opinion about Alois Trancy?

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

hey bestie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how dare you apologize for that >:( you know you’re my favourite ranter too!!

How would you end BSD?

lmao no idea. at this point it’s really hard to tell who’s gonna die and who’s not, i think the only person i know for sure will stay alive no matter what is atsushi (wack). i’d like to see fyozai ending each other though, it would be one of the most epic things ever, idk, i would not be at peace if one of them stays alive while the other has to perish. i also don’t quite see them both well and alive at the end of the whole thing. i’d like to see fukuchi destroyed, i want to see fedya laughing at his face and telling him he’s been used like any other person, it would satisfying yea. you know, it’s really hard to try and think “in-canon”, because my thoughts are clearly kind of different from asagiri’s, but yeah. imagine fyozai world domination though:):))):)))))):):)) jk jk (no)

idk i think we’ve talked about fyodor maybe not quite becoming a good man (god forbid) but perhaps landing a helping hand and getting to assist the ada buuut… i can’t say i imagine anyone or anything worse than him haha so idk what they would all fight against, unless it’s like…the apocalypse or something, with mighty gods and apostles involved, but i don’t think it would be quite in genre anyway. so yes, him and dazai destroying each other so the ada, the pm and the rest stay safe and stuff. being a martyr and being suicidal is the same thing, from one point of view, in the end. oh idk why but i really would like to see sigma finding his own purpose in life, i feel so bad for him. actually, no, i want everyone to be happy and safe and in therapy, but no, that would be quite an abominable decision. all that for a happy ending?? no, thank you. i would like to experience a lot of deaths and sacrifices. i think Q will die btw. i’m gonna cry like a baby, but that kid…and i mean it sincerely, but that kid gives off the strongest suicidal vibe, seriously. love them always forever.

oh well, what a mess of an answer. anyway, i don’t think i can answer that properly, i’m very biased bc i’ve read a shit ton of fanfics that were masterpieces, but i think youll understand me anyways. and how would you?? thoughts?? opinions??? please?????

Would you change the ending of Death Note?

no, never. i mean i hate light and i’m glad he’s dead, why would i. L’s death?? heartbreaking, but…no, let’s be real, it was good. it was excellent. it left light lost, confused and lonely, so fuck that little bitch and fuck his god complex.

i feel very sorry for misa, i don’t know if i would change the way she had to end, but that makes a lot of sense, too. no rem, no light, nothing but her shinigami eyes and most horrible memories. maybe it was for the best too, i wouldn’t want her to suffer any more than she already did.

god i WANT to say i’d change mello’s death, but it was top tier writing, too. a stupid death for a stupidly gorgeous boy, and in the end, it all went just like L had wanted: on their own, neither near nor mello couldve defeated light, but together…they could. and they did. mello knew exactly what was doing and what he signed up for, he knew he’d have to go after leaving takada like that, let’s not forget that he was one of the smartest people ever, just like L and near, and knowing this all…brings me peace, yea.

i have a lot of feelings towards ryuk too, i mean, if you look at that, he’s always been an outcast in the world of shinigamis, and the way he sat the after light’s death……he looked quite sad haha. now i’m not saying that he was attached to light, i don’t think light would be capable of awaking anything like that in someone like ryuk, he was not that kind of a person, not like misa; but i’d like to maybe see ryuk finding someone else to watch and to be amused by, he was quite lovable as a character. and to be compleeetely honest with you, i’ve alwYs been wondering about the whole shinigami situation in general, i mean yeah, they’re gods of death, but they looked quite pathetic in their realm. i wouldn’t be opposed to seeing how their story would progress, i remember thinking about it after my first death note rewatch… idk

would you??

Unpopular opinion about Alois Trancy?

alois📣did📣nothing📣wrong

my little meow meow🥺🥺

idk maybe he wasn’t one of the best written characters in the show, but he sure was one of the most interesting ones. you know how fascinated i am by him, you do. he didn’t deserve all that, fuck claude and his fake ass, hope he, uh…burns in hell?? for eternity?? idk i just hope he suffers a lot wherever he is

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

no, never. it would be a nice experience, but so far it’s been the other way around, there were so many ships i didn’t mind or kind of enjoyed before they got spoiled for me by, ah…unpleasant ppl

although… a few times i found myself starting to like a ship i used to be indifferent/didn’t know about after learning that ppl i didn’t like hated it. the enemy of my enemy, as they say..

[leonawriter]

I know the easy comparison is between Dazai and Chuuya, and Atsushi and Akutagawa - it’s the obvious one, right? But I just realised there’s comparisons and similarities to be made between two pairs in the story that I see as romantically involved (or with the potential to be) that I don’t see as often, or haven’t been thought of much.

Lucy and Chuuya have kinda similar stories, if you think about it. Knowing what we do about Chuuya’s induction into the mafia, at least, and how he connected with Dazai first, along with Lucy’s arc as we’re seeing it develop.

Lucy and Chuuya both were without a family of any sort, without any real sense of backup or support, until a certain group found them - in Chuuya’s case it was the Sheep, and in Lucy’s case it’s the Guild. 

In both cases, they get by. They’re desperate to prove themselves worthy to stay, because they feel alone. But at the same time, they feel cut off from those around them - Chuuya as Arahabaki, being the strongest, and his questioning of his own humanity and where he stood in the group, and Lucy with how she was among a group that mostly consisted of very rich people, and even those who’d never been rich without the Guild, like Steinbeck, had never been in her sort of situation. 

In both cases, to a certain extent, they feel the need to prove themselves worthy of staying by being useful to the group.

Which is where the other person comes in.

In Chuuya’s case, Dazai stirs things up and rocks the boat - I’ve seen people say that he manipulated the Sheep into believing Chuuya betrayed them, and I’ve seen other takes, but in the end I believe that it was a rotten situation for Chuuya, and if he’d stayed they would have betrayed him sooner or later anyway. Regardless of how he did it, Dazai saved Chuuya from a bad, emotionally manipulative situation.

In Lucy’s case, it’s Atsushi who comes along and forces her to do something that goes against her orders. He forces her hand in letting everyone go from her ability, knowing that it’s also forcing her to fail her mission, but she also has to choose between the mission and saving herself. She chooses to save herself, even though it means knowing she might lose her place in the Guild.

In both cases, there’s also a meeting where they choose who to go with. Where their loyalties lie. That Chuuya ends up in the mafia where he’s able to excel, and Lucy? Lucy ends up in Cafe Uzumaki where it might not be what she does best, but she’s still in a far more supportive atmosphere than back when she was in the Guild.

In both cases, someone comes by who, in one way or another, can understand them, and who they can relate to. They are in a group of people who are keeping them alive, but who aren’t their actual friends. They turn their back on that group, intentionally or not, because of there being a better place for them. 

Additionally... neither Dazai nor Atsushi are really all that good at identifying their own emotions. Similarly, Lucy and Chuuya are both comparatively more open with - or at least aware of - theirs, while pretending that they aren’t.

Chuuya says “I used Corruption because I trusted you” and throws things at Dazai as if to say “see? look how much I’m hurting. I’m hurting, and it’s all on you.” He threatens Dazai, while in the next breath saying he “can’t die in a place like this” and so on.

Lucy spends the entirety of Hererisu being angry at Atsushi for “forgetting to come look for her” until he’s able to say that he’d tried. She tells him that she’d come to work at Uzumaki to be able to see him again. But the moment he frustrates or embarrasses her, she’s back to being angry again.

It’s easier for both of them to throw up a shield made of anger and being prickly, because they’ve been hurting, and have been hurt, so many times before. For so long. They’re not just “tsundere,” that’s a defence mechanism - it’s just unfortunate that the people they’re interested in are both different types of bad at expressing themselves as well, from their own personal traumas.

Something I’d been saving, is that while all the earlier examples are manga canon, there’s also something in BSD Wan! which again draws parallels between these two/four characters. 

In one chapter, Chuuya had found a book that Kouyou had left lying around. He assumes it’s about gaining a win over a person, as in, getting the upper hand. Thing is, it’s more accurately “winning over” - as in, romantically. He runs into Dazai and starts, not realising it until later, to flirt just by being nice. [Note: this was super effective on Dazai and he has no idea how to deal with this. None. The only reason they go back to normal is that he starts pressing at Chuuya’s buttons to make him mad again.]

I bring this up, because a recent chapter has a similar thing happen - but with Atsushi and Lucy. In this case, both of them find magazines left lying around by their colleagues. Both of these magazines have tips for how to interact with girls (for Atsushi) and boys (for Lucy). Notably, of course, the one they try these “tips” out on is the other. 

Both times, it ends in disaster because no one really knows what they’re doing, and in Dazai’s case he could have had a polite conversation with Chuuya, but sabotaged the efforts (plus, Chuuya thought it was about “getting one over on” Dazai and not “learning how to get along”) and in the other case, Lucy was trying to get Atsushi to notice and say the right things, but... he kept saying things that were completely irrelevant. Or wrong. Because he’s got no experience in thinking about how to compliment people, or interact normally much at all.

(Okay, to be honest, the most interesting thing about that last one is that the author/s chose those four specifically to have that particular gag plot play out. To me it’s the biggest hint of them saying “these characters are trying to figure out how to say they like each other, but they don’t know how, and using someone else’s words doesn’t work. Plus, they’re just plain not ready yet.”)

At the very least, I feel like there’s a lot of potential for Lucy and Chuuya to get along because of how they’d be able to relate to each other.

[hamliet]

Messy, Perfect Redemption: Dazai

My least favorite trope in fiction is probably redemption via death. It just seldom works for the best possible story and more often than not comes across as an author wanting to take the easy way out with having now made the audience like the character, but not having to deal with the repercussions with their relationships with other characters and actual work of changing. Which honestly is also fair. Writing is hard.

But one of the things I love about Bungou Stray Dogs is how the entire story is basically Dazai’s redemption arc in all its disastrous messy glory. Redemption is hard, becoming a better person is exhausting and it doesn’t happen overnight. Despite an often cavalier attitude towards everyone around him, Dazai never loses sight of Odasaku’s last words to him.

"Listen. You told me that you might find a reason to live if you lived in a world of violence and bloodshed. You won't find it. You must know that already. Whether you're on the side who kills people or the side who saves people, nothing beyond what you would expect will appear. Nothing in this world can fill that lonely hole you have. You will wander the darkness for eternity. (...) Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, become a good man. Save the weak, and protect the orphans. Neither good nor evil means much to you, I know... but that'd make you at least a little bit better. (...) Of course I know. I know better than anyone. Because... I am your friend."

Leaving the mafia and deciding to save people from now on is a good step, but it’s a process, as we see. It’s choosing every day to save orphans, to protect the weak, and even after making the overall choice to become a better man, there are still plenty of struggles along the way. It’s what makes Dazai such a compelling, powerful and ultimately hopeful character for me.

I know Atsushi is often seen as representing Dazai’s second chance after Akutagawa, his redemption in a sense, and that’s not wrong at all. Atsushi is definitely a major, even the main, part of it, but in my opinion it’s not the whole of it. Dazai’s mentoring of Atsushi is a double-edged sword: on the one hand, it absolutely is a part of his redemption. He’s genuinely trying to do his best with Atsushi, and I do think he cares for him--clearly, he cares enough to let himself be captured by the mafia, even.

On the other hand, ignoring a kid you hurt for a kid you didn't is not redemption in and of itself when you could still do something about it. It’s not like Akutagawa has given up on Dazai in any way; he’s pretty desperate for Dazai’s acknowledgement even now.

If saving one requires you to abandon the other, are you really a better person for it ? Like, if you wanna save orphans, you kinda have to include the one who's literally begging you to save him and who is only in this bad place because of you.

If joining the agency would have redeemed Dazai, we wouldn’t have a story, though again I’m not minimizing the importance of this or the resonance of Dazai’s mentoring of Atsushi. But in joining the agency, Dazai left someone behind--more than one someones, actually. Dazai’s redemption is a process that will require him to face the harm he caused in the mafia and as much as possible, fix it. And he can’t fully redeem himself until he integrates with his shadow. Unlike Atsushi whose shadow is directly personified in Akutagawa, though, Dazai’s is in several other people (we could also consider Odasaku and Atsushi part of the anima), including Akutagawa, Chuuya, Dostoyevsky, and Mori.

Even the next time Dazai saves an orphan (Kyouka), we find out that a lot of the cruel ways Akutagawa trained her came from how Dazai trained him.

It’s a consequence coming back to Dazai that his mentee decides to save a child trapped in the mafia whom everyone wants to give up on, a child whose been through the same training he forced Akutagawa into (which I should remind you includes a canonical mock execution). The difficulties of saving Kyouka are probably exactly why Dazai took so long to make baby steps towards Akutagawa. But to his credit, while he’s not exactly compassionate with Kyouka while she’s imprisoned, Dazai does save her. If mentoring a kid on the verge of turning into a criminal is the first step to reconciling with his mafia self, then Dazai’s helping save Kyouka is the next one.

However, he doesn’t fully understand the cruelties of he did to Akutagawa, as shown in how he mocks him after his capture by repeating Akutagawa’s worst fears to him:

I know Dazai’s playing a long game with setting up Atsushi and Akutagawa’s partnership in shin soukoku, but the ends don’t always justify the means and that’s a lesson often shown to us in BSD (it’s in part the reason Dazai left the mafia; he couldn’t buy that Oda’s death was justifiable because it got rid of Mimic and got the Port Mafia their black ticket). This type of triggering really isn’t okay. Like I said here, Dazai is in part the cause of Atsushi and Akutagawa’s struggles to get along, and he should be part of reconciling that schism as well.

I know while some people are annoyed that fans call a person two years older than someone else their father figure, but the manga itself draws this comparison and codes Dazai/Atsushi and Dazai/Akutaqawa as a mentor/mentee relationship which is 99% of the time coded as parental in literature (and it definitely is here). Akutagawa literally draws the comparison himself between his relationship with Dazai and Atsushi’s with his abusive orphanage headmaster. Yes, Akutagawa’s making some logical jumps here (refusing to acknowledge that Dazai is just as much Atsushi’s mentor as his), but the manga wants us to make this comparison.

As Atsushi wasn’t able to reconcile his frustration and hurt towards the orphanage headmaster, he’ll probably do so through Akutagawa and through Dazai, because Atsushi’s view of Dazai is basically that he’s already redeemed and fantastic and justified in his choices--again, I know Atsushi complains about his irresponsibility sometimes, but it’s mostly played as a joke and isn’t a serious critique of just how he treated Akutagawa, despite Atsushi hating Akutagawa for how he treated Kyouka (take that train of thought a little further, Atsushi).

But onto Dazai’s other relationships. It’s telling that Dazai is at his most unrestrained and violent in the mafia when he partners with Chuuya, who despite being very restrained thanks to him being capable of uninhibited destruction that would lead to his own death without said restraint, knows who Dazai is and what he’s capable of from the very beginning (he’s so much as seen Dazai murder the orphans who comprise the Sheep even after promising Chuuya he wouldn't). Kunikida is Chuuya’s foil in that he works most closely with Dazai in the agency and is perpetually ready to strangle him, but Kunikida is also incredibly principled and restrained--yet he is significantly the only member of the agency who, prior to the Guild Arc, did not know Dazai used to be in the mafia.

Kunikida’s ideals including saving everyone if possible. Both Chuuya and Kunikida represent these two extremes of what Dazai is capable of--and yet notably both of them care about saving children and are in many ways more compassionate people than Dazai.

The one time we see Chuuya talk about killing a kid is with Q, who notably is introduced to us as another child with the soukoku partnership team-up.

Q, a child with half-dark hair and half-white hair (gee I wonder what that symbolizes) is a child made to curse the world and hate ever being born. Chuuya and Dazai team up to save him but contemplate killing him.

Dazai’s choice not to kill Q is stated to be to save himself, which is probably is, but it’s also symbolic of how Dazai’s saving other people is saving himself (and also ties back to another quote Odasaku liked to repeat from Natsume: “everyone exists to save themselves”).

But Chuuya’s motivation, as I wrote before, is because he’s grieved over the loss of his comrades. Chuuya really cares about people, including Dazai, and the fact that Dazai is actually going to far as to model Atsushi and Akutagawa’s team-up on his team-up with Chuuya pretty strongly implies Dazai doesn’t hate Chuuya as much as he says he does. To be able to truly leave the mafia, he has to make peace with those relationships there. It’s part of being honest with himself: like Atsushi, acknowledging the darker shadows, and like Akutagawa, acknowledging the better parts of him too.

At present, Dostoyevsky proves a perfect foil for Dazai, as @linkspooky has written here. They’re the same in a lot of ways, but Dostoyevsky has allowed nihilism and a god complex to completely consume him and is not trying to be human, whereas Dazai still tries to save people and was devastated by Oda’s death. Dostoyevsky’s ability, whatever it was, works by touching someone like Dazai’s, but since Dazai’s No Longer Human negates another’s abilities, Dazai is the only person on which Fyodor’s ability will not work, making them the perfect counters for each other.  Dostoyevsky is what Dazai could be if his feelings of alienation from human society (a prominent theme in the real life Dostoyevsky’s works) were taken to their utmost extreme, and so it’d be fitting for him to ultimately defeat Fyodor through the relationships he does have (including Atsushi and Akutagawa). 

To return to Odasaku, Odasaku is also kind of a warning to Dazai as much as he is a man Dazai wants to become like. When Odasaku lost the orphans under his care, he fell into complete despair and knowingly embarked on a suicide mission to do what Mori wanted him to. Still, Dazai tried to save him. He wasn’t able to save his life, but Odasaku’s death saved Dazai. Yet it’s potentially concerning that Mori used Odasaku’s human connections to engineer his downfall, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Mori uses Dazai’s to try to engineer his downfall later on (like, way, way on).

The difference is that Dazai is a good foil to Mori, too, in understanding what makes people tick and always thinking several moves ahead. Mori groomed Dazai from the age of like fourteen (or younger) to be his successor in the mafia, manipulating his suicidal tendencies and hopelessness to get what Mori wanted from him. It’s telling that the earliest we have of Dazai is him with Mori, in that Mori instead of caring for a suicidal patient decided to take him along to murder the mafia’s boss and induct him into the mafia thereby. The thing about Jungian stories is that there are often some Oedipal tendencies to them--like, for example, a character needs to overcome/break away from completely/kill their father.  I can see Dazai at some point having to overcome Mori and his influence to cement his arc, but that’s highly speculative (yet fits with Mori’s build up as a villain), so we’ll see.

[kikizoshi]

My (Rough) Thoughts on Shipping Self-Inserts With Canon Characters

Obviously, if you’ve read some of my newer works, you’ll know that I don’t mind OCs, and I feel similarly towards self-inserts. In fact, I’m in pretty high favour of them (good published authors have used themselves and their experiences as great inspiration many a time, and with much success--Dostoyevsky did so a lot!).

However...

With self-inserts, I find that shipping can be quite... problematic. 

I’d like to start with an experience of my own, a basic one, where I wrote a self-insert ship fic. It was... bad, but bad isn’t always indicative of the self-insert style. I remember the way I imagined it was myself in the story, interacting with the characters just like I would in my head, and how great it was to put it onto paper. I was invigorated, it gave me purpose, and I swore to write a new page every day. It was my first fanfiction, and I still enjoy reading it occasionally (even if no one else would).

But that piece isn’t my current ideal for writing, and there are several things I could’ve done to improve. Like, certain writing conventions served to tear me straight from a story, no matter how I tried to gloss over them in my mind.

Signifiers such as ‘(y/n),’ or ‘(h/c),’ ripped me right out of the screen and back into the room around me. Reading about how, “She looked up with her (e/c) eyes happily,” even if only for half a second, I lost my transfiction, and engagement stuttered as I knew I’d be ripped away again.

Strawmanning was another of these problems. The ‘bully’ characters weren’t anything more than a few cookie-cutter lines (not even stereotypes!), whereas the heroic me had the last word, expertly cutting through their paper-thin insults and winning for myself a glorious victory. Rather than highlight virtuous aspects of my character, however, this win only served to make my writing contrived, which goes with my next point.

Shipping myself with a character was perhaps my downfall. Now, don’t get me wrong, my beloved and I had some awesome dialogue about how we should use the honorific ‘-kun’ to make people think we were dating, but overall, neither of our characters were enhanced by each other. I was still my Holy self, the other character shared in my Light, and everyone else were unworthy heathens below.

So what could I have done differently, and what caused me to take such a self-indulgent turn?

To answer my second question, well, age was definitely a factor. I was ten, I believe, and not highly capable of self-reflection, something which is needed in spades in order to artfully insert oneself. I wanted an easy story, one where I could be with the character I wanted and never be in the wrong, and so that’s what happened, at the expense of both our characters (as I’ll elaborate on further down).

To answer the first, I’ll need to take a slightly deeper dive.

For signifiers, I believe why I used them is the key. There’s a difference between self-inserts and reader-inserts, although the two are often mixed, which makes sense (who’s to be the reader-insert if not oneself, or one’s close friend?).

My story was not a reader-insert, though, nor was it ever in my plans to share it, to make it accessible for a friend. (And not even for the purposes of this discussion will I share it with you now, perish the thought.) The only reason I’d thought to add in signifiers of personal traits, of which I knew very well, was imitation. I noticed that every other person on Quotev wrote their fanfictions that way, and so I followed suit. In hindsight, though, it would have been much better to just describe myself or, if preferred, just leave it vague.

I do believe, by the way, that the distinction between self-inserts and reader-inserts--or where we muddle the line--should be something kept in mind when writing. How do you know what’s in-character if you don’t know which character you’re writing about, after all?

For strawmanning, or making a ‘Mary Sue’ of myself, well, there’s a quick explanation. I loathe being wrong. Don’t you? And yet, it’s a real hinderance if I want to write myself into a story. I can’t stand being wrong, I fear it, but characters with no failings are, frankly, boring to follow.

So if they’re so boring, and I don’t want to be wrong, what can I do? Well, I could not write myself. Or, I could use that as a character flaw, and incorporate it into my writing. Maybe, instead of valiantly slicing through the bullies’ insults, my character could think that’s what they’ve done, while the narrator knows full well they’ve made an arse of themself.

And now... onto my main point as stated in my headline--shipping!

In order to ship myself with a character (let’s say Nikolai), I think, honestly, that a perfect storm is needed. 1) I’d need a deep understanding of Nikolai and 2) an extreme level of self-awareness so that 3) I can know whether or not being with Nikolai would be right for me.

Just because I like a character doesn’t mean that he’d automatically like me.

And in fact, I can say with certainty that, if Nikolai were to come to cross paths with me, he’d think nothing of me and forget me the next day. Such is the sort of realism that’s necessary, I think, if we’re not to mould the characters of our affection into someone entirely different, whom they fundamentally are not. If keeping Nikolai’s full personality is my genuine goal in writing, I cannot, therefore, ship myself with him, and I cannot write a self-insert fic about him loving me with any believability or integrity as a writer.

This isn’t to say that I can’t write a fic with both of us interacting, though. I could, of course, get unexpectedly trapped in a trash can, and there’d be nothing for him to do but generously help me out. The line there, however, is to not try to push him past his limits. If I truly respect him, then I wish for him to stay my truest version of him.

If I do wish to mould his character, however, then all that goes out the window. Suddenly, he’s whatever I want him to be, and we can go have a weekend getaway without complication... but I’d need to be careful. 

There’s a fine line between character interpretation and character butchering. Personally, respect is a massive part of my relationship with my character. If I don’t respect a character, I end up misrepresenting them, putting false words and actions in their mouths, and polluting the fic.

So what should I do if I want to mould them to like me (and I can’t change myself without actually changing myself in real life), but I don’t want to disrespect them?

Well, it’s actually pretty easy within Bungō Stray Dogs. In order to change a character, it’s important, I think, to keep some of their core values, and in BSD characters’ cases, the core themes of their namesakes.

(I’ll have to use Fyodor for this next example, by the way, since I cannot for the life of me come up with a situation that would grant me closeness to Nikolai.)

I’d never, ever make Fyodor choose me over his goals, for example (and in fact, very likely, he wouldn’t let me). However, there are still the quiet moments to think of. Were he perhaps a bit more like Alyosha (character from The Brothers Karamazov, by Dostoyevsky), more willing to make time for those he cares about, so long as we had known each other a long time prior, even if my intellect didn’t compare to his, loyal companionship and decent conversation over a good cup of tea is enough, I think, for a decent scene. (This takes some, though not all, inspiration from Dostoyevsky’s relationship with his second wife, as well as Alyosha’s relationship with his love interest.)

I believe the change should be in-keeping with his character, something slight, so that he remains the man I love and respect while still being able to be himself.

(Now, I’m also aware that I can’t come from a place of complete sincerity, since I don’t want to be with Fyodor, but the example still, I think, was necessary.)

To recap how I think I could do self-insert fiction better:

-I’d keep engagement in mind.

-I’d try to watch for unintentional perfection.

-If I don’t want to change a character, then I: evaluate if they’re right for me.

-If I do want to change a character, then I: keep them the truest form of themself at their core, and make only necessary in-character changes.

So... yeah, those are my rough thoughts. None of this is intended to be OC harassment, by the way, and the only fic I ever referred to here was my own. The itch just came, since I’ve been thinking about this for years, to flesh out my thoughts a bit. I hope anyone who managed to make it this far got something out of this, and thanks for reading <3