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He was surprised to see Andromeda sitting next to him, even more so when she started talking. As of late, it seemed that Sirius Black wasn't very popular amongst family and friends so it was nice to have his cousin talking to him, although a part of him warned him that it could end in disaster.

"Technically, I said everything which means, inanimate objects. Like this book." He scrunched up his nose, looking at the large volume a if its existence offended him. "Well, I usually ask Remus for help with this kind of thing but..." But since we're in a weird place, asking for help would be weird and I'm tired of weird. "...I thought I'd give it a go. I regret the decision.What brings you here, Andie?"

Library ↫ September 17 ↬ Evening

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Library ↫ September 17 ↬ Evening

Sirius was drained. Honestly, he felt like crawling under the bed and not coming out for a couple of days but that was not how life worked and he had to keep on going with his normal life, doing normal things. A terribly long paper for history of magic was one of those normal things and he was tired of looking through books.

"This is so fucking stupid." He grumbled, closing the book he had in front of him when, after hours of reading, the sentences stopped making sense. "I hate everything."

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He wasn't sure why he expected those simple words to be enough, he wasn't sure why he hoped that with that things would be okay again. Maybe it was his need for the words of that son to be true: Love is all you need. But it as bullshit. Love didn't fix anything, love wasn't enough.

He loved his mother, he turned her back on him. Same with his father. He loved Remus and it hadn't been enough to make things better. He loved Regulus and yet he was giving him that terribly cold stare that remind him too much of Walburga before hitting him for saying something out of turn that he, unconsciously, lifted his arm to protect himself from the possible blow. But it didn't came. Instead, Regulus walked away, making him wish that he had gotten punched in the stomach instead.

He sighed deeply, picking his jacket from the floor, making the spell vanish, eyes on the floor as he walked away. He could've chased his brother but he was drained. Sirius was so done with people being angry at him, so done with feeling like everything he did was wrong. But there wasn't much he could do, except keep going.

Stairwell | September 16 | Morning

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Sirius felt a wave of relieve hit him once his brother's breathing went back to normal. He had been dealing with this kinds of attacks for a while now and he had gotten better at reacting to them but they were still nerve wrecking situations.

He sighed softly, pulling his hand away from his brother's face, frowning lightly at the question. The first answer that came to his mind was: because you are my brother. But it didn't seem right. Not only because Regulus would probably think of him as a hypocrite since the rest of his family wasn't very dear to him. The only exceptions were Regulus, Andromeda and, surprisingly enough, Narcissa. Those three Black's were still family to him, even if he wasn't sure if he was family to them. "Because I love you, Reg." He answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and for him, it was. Simple as that. 

Stairwell | September 16 | Morning

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Sirius watched his brother carefully, pushing away his worry and the fear that this attacks always ave him. He had to stay calm for Regulus so all the negative feelings were buried deep down so no one could see them.

He remembered the first time he watched Regulus had one of his attacks, he was clueless as of what to do, scared of what might happen but more scared of telling his parents, certain that they'd make it worse. He had done the only thing that he could think about: he hugged his brother, he promised that things would be okay, tried to sound sure and calm even when he was terrified. Since then he had improved, learned how to act when his brother as like this, he learned how to help him, taught himself to control his emotions.

"Don't be. There's nothing to be sorry for." He assured after shaking his head a little, offering a reassuring smile. "I know you hate it but you don't have to be sorry. Just focus on breathing,okay? In...And out." He breathed at the same rhythm as his brother. Slowly, he took his jacket off and placed it around the younger boys shoulders, then placed his hand on the boy's face again. "Feeling better, Reg?"

Stairwell | September 16 | Morning

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He knew what was happening. He knew all too well. He had seen his brother go through this before, he had been one to calm him down and make things better. How much had things changed in such a little period of time. Just a summer and he was the cause of one of this attacks. But he couldn't focus on that, he could just keep on running behind his brother. His self hatred could wait until he was on his own.  

Sirius turned the corner and found Regulus, struggling to breath. He was quick to take his want out, throw and spell that would give them some privacy before he placed himself in front of his brother, cupping his face with both hands carefully, as if he was dealing with glass and if he wasn't gentle Regulus could break.

"Hey..." He said, his voice soft despite his racing heartbeat and the burning sensation in his lungs after running so much. He had to stay calm for his brother. "Reg? Look at me, yes?" He brushed his thumbs along the younger boy's cheeks, his silver eyes focused on his brother's. Desperate, scared. He offered a reassuring smile. "Listen to my voice. Focus on my voice, Reg. It's going to be okay. I'm here for you. Right here, right now. I'll take care of you, little bro." He promised. "Just focus on my voice, breathe. I got you."

Stairwell | September 16 | Morning

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Sirius smiled brightly. This was what he had been needing for so long. His summer had been such a mes and his life in general seemed to be chaotic a of late and just knowing that maybe, just maybe there would be a moment to relax and pretend everything was perfectly fine and normal was something he had been craving for a long time. Remus had always been one to make him feel better, no matter what and even now, without knowing, he was making him feel like things would eventually be just fine.

"Oh, I'm sure Marls will be delighted to join in! And if she is in, she'll convince Mary." He smiled and turned to look at Remus just in time to see his eyes glowing bright gold, making his heart skip a beat. He swallowed thickly and his eyes went to the other's lips. Don't. You can't. You'll fuck it all up. And for once he listened to reason, he didn't kiss Remus, instead he looked down, just hooking his pinky finger to Remus', hoping that the little contact was okay. "I promise I'll make sure everyone has fun and um...Stuff."

Courtyard ✶ September 12【Evening】

It was amazing how Sirius had the power to leave him speechless with even the tiniest of actions. Just at his touch and his lips on his cheek, Remus was breathless and his eyes were glazing over, his brain practically shutting down. He wanted to push him over and snog him senseless right then and there for anyone to see. Obviously he wouldn’t since they had already done such a thing and he was in his right mind this time, but still the temptation was very strong especially with talk of skinny dipping even if he had seen Sirius naked a million times over the years. Things were different now, right?

"Uhm… Yeah, other people. Right," he mumbled, trying to shake increasingly inappropriate thoughts out of his head. He swallowed thickly to try and make himself sound like he wasn’t completely dehydrated and gave a quick nod. "I’ll, uh, talk to Mary and Marlene, convince them to join in. It’ll be… uhm.. It’s gonna be really great. It’s the perfect idea.” Remus did the best he could to show his appreciation for the idea without showing how he really felt, but it was so difficult with Sirius that he couldn’t stop himself from brushing his scarred knuckles along his knee as his eyes flashed the bright gold of the wolf’s for a moment, even if he was still trying to do as he said he would in the lake.

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Sirius stayed silent. He was so done with the year and it had just begun. He wanted to go back to the Potter's, he wanted to not think about anything at all, he wanted to sleep through the day without anything bothering him, he wanted to forget about the mess his life was at the moment, even if it was just for a little while. But he couldn't do that, vacation were over and he had to deal with his screwed up life weather he wanted or not.

He sighed softly, there was nothing else to do or say and the silence was making him feel uneasy. He turned hie head to look at his brother, say goodbye but the other boy had gotten up fast and he was leaving before Sirius had a chance to say anything.

The older brother felt a mixture of hurt and worry as he watched his brother running away. Regulus wasn't good with confrontation, Sirius knew that but running away like that just didn't seem...Right. He quickly got up and run towards the younger boy, certain that something was wrong. "Reg!" He called as he started to catch up. "Wait, Reg!"

Courtyard | September 16 | Morning

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Sirius froze, his heart sinking into his stomach like a heavy rock. He should't have come to talk to Regulus, he should've left when he had the chance but he was naive enough to believe that maybe, just maybe things could go well between himself and his brother. After so many years, Sirius still had that damn defect when it came to his family. He always hoped. Hoped that his mother wouldn't hit him, ��hoped that his father wouldn't yell at him, hoped that her mother would be nicer to his little brother. It was in vein and every time he was left down it just hurt way too much. Still, he had hoped his brother would at least give him the benefit of the doubt. He was wrong and that bloody hurt.

He swallowed thickly, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat as he waited for Regulus to say what he had already heard from his mother, from his father. You're a disgrace, you're a disappointment. You're not a real Black. I hate you. But nothing came. Just a tense silence, heavy and awkward.

"You don't?" He whispered, clearing his throat to try to make his voice sound like usual instead of shaky. At least his mother had taught him that. How not to show emotions, how not to be, in her words: weak. He smiled. "That's good, Regulus. Don't spare me a though. It'll be better for you if you don't even mention my name again."

Courtyard | September 16 | Morning

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When he felt Regulus hand on his sleeve, stopping him from leaving, he felt  rather surprised. Pleasantly so but surprised nevertheless. At his brother's words, he had to bit his lower lip not to let out a bitter laugh, knowing too well that his brother wouldn't like that and he wouldn't ruin the chance he was being given to actually have a conversation with the younger Black.  

So he sighed softly, turned his head to look at the other. "Moth--- " He stopped himself as the painful reminder of his face being burnt out of the family tree and his mother all but disowning him came to his mind. "Walburga is constantly mad at me." He said instead, sitting down next to his brother again. He then wondered what story had Walburga told Regulus about the whole thing. Probably one here he ended up as the villain. Sirius was sure their mother had told Reg that he had run away without caring. Part of him was grateful for that since the real story was painful and he didn't want anyone to know it. Hell, he hadn't even told James about the whole thing.

He bit his lower lip for a moment, his silver gaze on the sky above them. There were clouds in the sky, it would probably rain. Lately days were always like this one...Grey. "Are you mad at me too?" He finally asked, his eyes still on the clouds.

Courtyard | September 16 | Morning

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C'mon. Look at me. Just a little glance. I'm content with just a quick look, please. C'mon, Reg don't ignore me. But having hopes was completely useless, Regulus didn't look at him. Sirius felt a knot in his throat and he looked away, pulling his knees to his chest. He was such a terrible human being. First he hurt Remus, then his brother,  he had even slammed a door in Peter's nose. He was screwing up so bad and it seemed that he made things worst when trying to make them better.

"You could always draw different kinds of brows. Different expressions with a marker or s'thing." He tried to joke but his tone was quiet, almost as if he didn't ant Regulus to hear him.

He bit his lower lip when the other asked a question and then shrugged, gaze on the other students in the courtyard. "Nothin'. Just thought I'd say hello..." He said with a soft sigh. "Wanted to...I dunno." What was he even thinking? Trying to make conversation with his brother was useless. Regulus didn't even want to see him. "I'll leave you alone." He said, getting up.

Courtyard | September 16 | Morning

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Okay, fine. He deserved the coldness of the greeting, he deserved being ignored but that didn't mean it hurt less. First Remus, now Regulus. Peter is Merlin knows where and James is ignoring me for quidditch. Bloody fantastic. He sighed softly and sat down next to his brother in silence, unsure of hat else to do or what to say.

The silence settled between them, it was tense and it felt awkward, the kind of silence that made Sirius want to rip his hair off and he loved his hair. He squeezed his brain, trying to figure out what to say as he looked at the other people in the courtyard. A couple of kids were practising spells, setting things on fire more often than not. "Merlin..." He said with a light chuckle as he turned his head to look at his younger brother. "I hope you have more practice than those twats, I don't want you to end up eyebrow-less for making something explode."  And yes, that was the lamest thing he could say to try and start a conversation but he hoped it would be enough for Regulus to stop ignoring him.

Courtyard | September 16 | Morning

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Walking through the castle on his own was making Sirius feel terribly bored. James was too busy trying to figure out how to make the quidditch try outs happen sooner, Peter was nowhere to be found and he was keeping his promise of not going near Remus unless the other boy asked him to do so.

In his boredom, the dark haired boy decided to go outside, breathe some fresh air and distract himself by the lake or talking to some of the other friends he had besides the marauders. His feet lead him to the courtyard and his gaze ended up in his brother. He was sitting all by himself and it made Sirius froze. How long had it been since he talked to him? Did he received the letters he wrote during summer or did her mother burned them before they could reach him? Part of him told him that the second one was more plausible since he never got an answer. He also wondered  what his mother had told Regulus about his departure. She probably made him look like the bad guy.

After a moment debating what he should do, Sirius decided to walk closer to his brother. He wasn't sure what he was going to do or say. He wasn't even sure if Regulus would even want to see him. But before he could regret his decision, he was right in front of his little brother. Sirius bit his lower lip for a moment before crouching down so he was at eye level with the other boy. What was he supposed to say now? "Um...Hey."

Courtyard | September 16 | Morning

It was a crisp morning. The sun’s rays were seeping through the vines outlining the courtyard as it crept towards noon. Regulus sat scrunched up on the ground, his knees pulled up to his chest, his back against the wall of the castle, nose-deep in the latest issue of Which Broomstick?.

The article comparing the Cleansweep Five to the Comet 2000 was not as compelling as he had hoped. It failed to hold his attention against the clenching anxiety that grew in his stomach. He tapped his wand against the pages of the magazine and it turned transparent.

Through it, he watched the groups of friends milling about in the courtyard, gossiping and practicing their transfiguration (which sometimes didn’t end up in a ball of flames). His jaw clenched, his lips sealed into a small frown. How long had it been since he had spoken to another human? Seven, eight hours? This solitude was starting to get embarrassing.

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He looked at Remus, wanting to see how he would react at his idea. A smile spread across his lips and he shook his head. "I'm not lying to you. Lily Ophelia Evans as the one that came up with the idea." And it was true, Lily had the idea. She hadn't exactly agreed to do it but those were just minor details. Sirius would find a way to convince the red head to loosen up a little and enjoy some good fun with alcohol and little clothing. "Nope, my brain is still with me. The same good ol' Sirius here." He added, tapping his temple with a finger, grinning as he did so.

He then awaited to see if Remus would agree to his crazy idea, grinning brightly. "Exactly! Is all a brilliant plan!" He chuckled and for a moment it seemed that things were just back to how they were before, as if they had never grow apart. He ruffled Remus' hair and without thinking, as most of the things Sirius did, he kissed the boy's cheek. "It'll be fun, I promise. You'll have to help me gather some people, me and James will get drinks and some food. We can even sneak to Honeydukes for a treat or two! I'm sure Peter will be happy to help. It'll be nice distraction for everyone, don't you think, love?" He asked, all excitement and little thinking.

Courtyard ✶ September 12【Evening】

Remus immediately arched an eyebrow in suspicion, unable to believe any idea Lily would come up with to distract James would be all that bad. All she really needed to do was stand in front of him and smile and that would probably keep him floating on cloud nine for weeks. But when he actually heard the idea both eyebrows shot up in shock. “No way, you’re lying to me,” he mumbled with a shake of his head as he turned his body to fully face him, bony knee brushing against his leg as he tucked it up under himself. “Evans as in Lily Evans? Proposing skinny dipping? Did you two switch brains or something?”

After a low chuckle he managed to give the idea some thought and couldn’t help a grin from spreading across his face, his smile slightly more crooked than he already had been with the new scars crossing his face. “I honestly cannot find a valid argument against all of these things, especially if Lils is into it. What more can a bloke ask for? I mean, you know I’m a sucker for every single one of those things,” he commented, a slight blush tinting his pale cheeks at just the thought of their own encounter in the lake and what could happen with a little more intoxication and less clothes on their side.

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rj-moonylupin:

Remus arched an eyebrow and turned to look at him properly. “What is this I hear? Sirius Black turning down pranks and being thoughtful of authority’s well being?” He reached out to touch his forehead with a fake look of concern on his face. “Are you ill? You must be ‘cause this is simply unheard of!” Without thinking he moved to tuck a strand of dark hair that was in his face behind his ear and then immediately he pulled his hand back to rest in his lap. Could you be any more of a girl, Lupin?! he thought with an inner groan. Picking at his already painfully short nails in his lap, he tried to make it seem like he wasn’t internally screaming at himself and was perfectly fine and normal.

"Do I really wanna know what you’re thinking of distracting him with?" He asked with an audible groan this time. “‘Cause it already sounds suspicious, and I’m guessing will still cause at least me, probably Lily and your cousin stress.” To be honest, he was sure they all probably welcomed the distraction of the boys throwing a party or drinking or whatever devious plan Sirius was hatching. At least they wouldn’t be worrying about what evil was clearly lurking just outside the walls of the castle.

Sirius rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed although there was a hint of smile in his lips. "Yeah, I know. It's a miracle, the asshole being nice." He chuckled, unconsciously leaning into Remus' touch, sighing happily. But then the touch was gone and he couldn't help the soft whine that escaped his lips. He immediately cleared his throat and looked somewhere else instead of at his friend.

"What? Oh...Evans gave me an idea." He started, a mischievous grin appearing in his lips. "It might cause you all a little bit of stress...If I manage to convince you....How does skinny dipping in the lake sound, hmm?" He chuckled wiggling his eyebrows. "We can have a few drinks, a smoke or two, maybe even roast marshmallows and then...Boom! Into the water. What do you say?"

Courtyard ✶ September 12【Evening】

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Sirius was glad to see Remus laughing. He knew that the other boy had the tendency of creating storms in glasses of water and while little fights like the one he had with Peter were completely normal and totally valid, Remus would probably feel terribly guilty about the whole thing when there was really no need. Peter was the most understanding of them all and Sirius was sure that their friend knew Remus hadn't been rude on purpose.  

"Oi! Why me?" He turned to look at Remus, chuckling softly. "Oh no, we ill keep it the pranks down. The other day I saw Andee and she looked like she could use a break." Usually, Sirius didn't care much about such things but from what he could gather from rumours and the Head Girl doing her best to avoid the subject, he was almost certain than just a fight. He wouldn've asked Remus about it but since they hardly a each other, he didn't have the chance. "But I suppose I can distract him with something else."

Courtyard ✶ September 12【Evening】

Remus nodded slowly, wanting to roll his eyes at himself for being so stupid to even think anything could be wrong between himself and Peter. Things had just been so strange and stressful so early in the year he just simply wasn’t thinking straight. It was never a good thing when his thoughts were this jumbled this soon. “Yeah, you’re right. Dunno what I was even thinking,” he mumbled under his breath as he rubbed the back of his neck once again. Immediately he began to feel terrible, the shift so quick he didn’t even realize it, for worrying about their friendship at all but mostly for the way he treated Peter. Thankfully Sirius still knew how to distract the darker thoughts from creeping in before he even knew they were coming in himself.

With a light chuckle he turned to look at Sirius and dramatically roll his eyes. “He was already a whiny, annoying drama queen, I don’t even want to imagine what he’ll turn into now.” While he knew it really wasn’t a subject matter to joke about, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to let out a little steam since he could hardly talk about what was really going on. Usually his best friends would be the first people to know information that wasn’t supposed to be shared, but this was entirely different. He had no idea how to approach any of this and as much as he felt they had a right to know this was completely new territory. “I nominate you to keep him distracted with pranks while I keep Lily on the other side of the castle ‘til this all blows over so he doesn’t tempt her more with wanting to murder him.”

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"Come on, Evans! You need to go skinny dipping at least once before you die and hat better way to do it than with your friends and alcohol in your system?" He said, poking her cheek. "Yeah, I don't see you as a romantic heroine either....You're more of the badass type, really. But since we're not in a romantic novel and two best friends aren't fighting for your love...You should totally give James a chance."

Great Hall ✶ September 14th【Breakfast】