#there is no person on earth less likely to be a cop

[convictsinterim]

Jason is a cycle breaker, in that he is not a "Good" one but he is cognizant of it and also someone who does direct action about it. Not only is he someone actively aware of the cyclical and never-ending pileup of bodies in the attempts to uphold the emotionally invested rule of one man—he confronts the selfishness surrounding that decision and how it's affected so many people, especially him personally.

Dick does recognize some of the tells of manipulation and of imbalance in his relationship with Bruce, but he does not connect the physical abuse/domestic abuse he sees as a cop in Blüdhaven to the physical abuse Bruce doles out to him. He doesn't connect that he's being emotionally abused, the psychological stranglehold Bruce has on him, the paranoia that spawns out of that.

Bruce never even has to be around for Dick to be burdened by what his father thinks of him—the pater familias. Jason, though? Jason stepped out of that cage and is dancing outside of it. The shackles that bind Dick have always been unlocked. All Dick has to do is step outside the cage. It's why Jason triggered Dick so much in New Earth and why Dick was so antagonistic towards him, mean and even seemingly apathetic.

Seeing someone freely express their loud and turbulent displeasure, list their grievances and not back down to bury the hatchet, gnash their teeth and demand something more and something better incenses someone like Dick. Dick has argued, he has fought, he has yelled, but of it all and at the end of the day he will still go back to Bruce. Jason though? He cannot lie down. He will bite the hand that beats every single time, and strike at the eyes that watch. Jason can forgive, he can move on—it's literally all he wanted to do—but he couldn't without proper answers and he couldn't just 'move on' when Bruce continued making the same mistake ad nauseam with no change. Jason cannot be complacent.

Additionally, from Dick and Jason's shared kinship, Jason can get at the CORE of why Dick is so complacent, where other's maybe cannot. Jason knows it because Dick doesn't want to lose yet another parent. Jason would know, because he's lost all fucking four of his. One after the other, after the other, after the other. Dick holds onto things with his teeth, too, after all.

Dick is someone suffocated under the black tar Bruce has buried him into. Jason crawled out of the tar. He's still poisoned, but he's making it work!

This is why forcing Dick to interact more with Jason is like catnip to me xD

Jason's own cognizance and awareness as a whole is why crashing Jason into a character like Dick, someone great at self-delusion, is literally the most interesting thing you could do relationship wise—especially romantically.

Jason poses such a narrative and internal challenge for characters, he makes character arcs essentially requisite! He makes plots spin by stepping onto center stage. That is how a long term in-character Jason works. He forces change in some capacity, he addresses complacence. (It's why DC wasn't able to keep him up and full strength, he got diluted into… puddle sludge, mostly through Prime Earth and less so through Daniels and Morrison. Because even with Morrison, Jason still had more fucking teeth.)

Needless to say, transformative fiction also disrupts the status quo so push it in that direction of transformation—of change! I love challenging characters, ESPECIALLY basket-cases, and making them actually change or evolve as people and exploring them in ways that otherwise wouldn't ever get published.

Jason really does far more for Dick's character than Dick does for Jason's, when speaking from a developmental point of view. Speaking from a personal view, I do not want Dick to die beholden to the Batman and his black hole ego that leeches Dicks sanity away from him at every turn.

What Dick offers to Jason is this: loyalty once earned, respect, trust, and genuine unconditional love. A chance to be accepted by someone he really respects and looked up to, a chance to help someone help themself, a chance to foundationally have a profound effect on someone and that effect be positive!

What Jason offers to Dick is this: everything aforementioned, and freedom. Genuine freedom, under no pretenses or expectations that need to be met. There's no 'failing' to meet a quota, there's no forcing Dick into roles he doesn't want but will take anyway because Dick cannot easily say no. And great exposure therapy to help Dick stop pathologizing/moralizing every single one of his actions against a nonexistent jury filled with Batmen.

And so I offer to you, an incredibly complicated and interesting endeavour with many conquests!

actually can any dickjay shippers explain to me what the appeal is. i want to understand your vision please

[thewitchinthecherrytree]

COP!!! You make BLORBO a COP!! Writer make BLORBO a PIG!!! oh! OH!!! JAIL!!! JAIL for writer for 1000 years!!!!!

[lord-squiggletits]

Like I'm not one of those story "critics" who will nitpick the smallest inconsistency and call it a plot hole that ruins the whole story. I'm okay with inconsistencies and even the occasional plot hole if it ends up producing a story that's interesting, gripping, and brings up interesting things.

The problem is that suspension of disbelief only stretches so far. And secondly, stuff like character drama and themes are only as strong as the plot that supports them. If the plot is full of contrivances, plot holes, and really stupid things that make it feel like the author is just forcing something to happen to move the story along, then the themes and character drama become much less convincing.

[casscainmainly]

Why Duke Thomas Should Be A Dick Grayson Hater

Dick and Duke is such an underrated and underexplored relationship. Here is my pitch for why Duke should be a Dick Grayson hater.

1. The Rooftop Thing

Reason number one and the start of Duke's grudge should be the rooftop incident in Robin War. Dick, as part of his plan or whatever, leads Duke to a roof and abandons him to the cops.

LOOK AT DICK'S SMUG FACE. Tell me you wouldn't hold a grudge too if this was the FIRST major interaction you had with him?? Duke should use this against him at any possible opportunity.

2. ACAB

From We Are Robin #2. Once Duke finds out Dick used to be a cop, it's OVER for him.

3. Jason and Damian

Duke is quite close with Jason and Damian (in my head, particularly Damian - that's his LITTLE BROTHER). Anyway, these two are obsessed with Dick. You have Jason, with his miles-long brother issues that puts Dick on a pedestal, and you have Damian, who thinks Dick is the best person on Earth who can do no wrong. They would talk Duke's ears off about him. Duke would HATE IT.

4. Robin

This panel from Night of the Monster Men sums up quite nicely the difference in the way Dick and Duke approach vigilantism. Duke is the 'idealised' Robin, whose Robin-ing isn't contingent on Batman; Dick is more or less too tied up in Bruce. I think, because the Robin identity means a lot to Duke, having the original Robin be like this would irk Duke a LOT.

5. Tom Taylor

SPOILERS FOR CURRENT NIGHTWING RUN: in Nightwing #116, Dick gets framed for murder and Babs tells him to reveal he's Nightwing to clear him of suspicion. She says Bruce suggested it, and recounts everyone who agreed:

Hm. Is someone missing here? Oh yeah: DUKE. TT probably just forgot Duke, but where's the fun in that? Instead, if Duke is a Dick Grayson hater, you have the funniest scene imaginable. Everyone gathered in the Batcave, laying down their identities for Dick, and Duke is like 'I don't give a damn. He can rot in jail.' and peaces out.

BONUS points if he does this to get back at Dick for reason number 1.

6. Parallels

Duke's origin deliberately mirrors Bruce's, but that means it mirrors Dick's as well. Duke and Dick parallels go insane: they both had loving families, lost both parents at once, were in the foster system (varyingly for Dick but for the purposes of this post I'm gonna include it), were wards/not adopted by Bruce initially, have a huge reverence for family, have a thing about heights, view Robin as separate from Batman, forged their own identities, etc.

Tell me this page doesn't slap:

Anyway Duke would HATE this too. He'd be so annoyed that the person he has the most in common with is Dick, and that would fuel his Dick Grayson haterism.

Dick, on the other hand, has no hard feelings towards Duke. Duke would be glowering at him from the corner of the room and Dick would meet his gaze and be like 'ah Duke is so cute' and smile back. This would make Duke 10000x angrier.

Anyway that's my ideal Dick and Duke dynamic, feel free to add or modify or disagree with anything!!

[leonstoenailunderhisbed]

My Friend, the Zombie

Summary: Leon is a zombie and reader finds him slumped in a dark alleyway. But unbeknownst to reader… he’s a needy zombie?

Warning: smut. mentions of blood and periods. cunnilingis.

A/N: sorry I haven’t posted any ff but I’ve been fighting my university nonstop😒 anyways, I didn’t know whether to turn this into a smut or a fluff but I ended up going with smut because I’m horny.

Leon S. Kennedy. A well known agent in the DSO, former rookie cop turned into a government weapon. He’s built this reputation around him that made him become respectable around his colleagues. No one would’ve guess that the Leon Kennedy would soon come to an end.

-

Months passed after the outbreak happening in the city. You were out with your friends hanging out at some Target parking lot when all of a sudden, a group of undead rose from the nearby forest just on the other side of the road.

Sometimes you wondered how you ended up in this mess. Now you were roaming the streets with your backpack full of looted items and your combat knife that you stole from the body of a military soldier you stumbled upon. Why was this happening to you? You wondered and wondered but you never came to an answer.

The town was dead. A literal ghost town—well—zombie town to be exact. Somehow, you’ve managed to survive this long. Of course life wasn’t simple. You ate less to conserve as much food as possible for the next day. You haven’t taken a shower since the power had gone out. But that was the least of your concerns. It wasn’t like you were going to bump into someone at this point in life.

You almost believed you were the only human left on earth.

Dumpster diving became a hobby for you. The amount of things people used to throw away were too precious to leave in the dumpsters.

“Jackpot,” you muttered under your breath when you stumbled upon a dark alleyway with three dumpsters. It wasn’t New York but you almost convinced yourself it was.

Your footsteps were quiet against the wet concrete under your boots. It had been raining nonstop the past following days, storms were rampant and almost everything was destroyed.

As you rummaged through the dumpster, there was groaning from the corner of the alley. Your movements still as you looked up from the trash and towards the direction where the sound came from.

You weren’t a rookie when it came to killing zombies. Surviving meant killing so it was natural that you unsheathed your combat knife and held it at the ready firmly in your hand as you took cautious steps.

It was dark, maybe a little too dark for your liking but it wasn’t like anything you haven’t experienced before.

“Hungry…” you heard someone say. It was the voice of a man, deep and guttural. At first, you thought it might’ve been a human so you quickly put your knife away and ran towards the person.

But as you got closer, you saw you were completely wrong. There against the wall sat a man who had been bitten and infected. Your heart hammered inside your chest as you looked down at him slumped figure.

His skin was pale and his veins were dark blue and black. His eyes were bloodshot red but you can still see the blue in them. His blonde hair was disbelieved, it seemed as if he had been fighting. His clothes were bloodied and there was blood around the walls and floor.

Questions and concerns circled around your mind as you looked around him. He looked weak but he also looked like he was ready to pounce on you at any minute.

“Hungry…” he said again, this time his voice becoming raspier and hoarser than before. It amazed you how this infected man still had the ability to communicate with words. Most zombies you’ve encountered were mindless monsters ready to eat humans as if it was their last dinner.

“You can talk?” You asked the man, looking down at him with an analytical eye. The man looked up at you and a groaned scoff escaped from his bloodied lips.

He cocked his head to the side, his direction being pointed towards the body of a zombie whose legs had been cut off. It didn’t worry you though. That zombie couldn’t even move, it just snarled at you both.

“Here,” you fished into your pockets and retrieved a granola bar. Great, dinner for you was gone now. The man eyed you for a minute longer before he slowly brought his hand out and took the bar from you.

He unwrapped it and almost immediately munched on the snack. He hummed and closed his eyes as he felt some food finally enter his system, he finished the bar rather quickly. But it wasn’t enough to satisfy his hunger.

You, as unimpressed as you were, couldn’t help but notice his attire. He looked like some kind of character that was like an agent or something. His black shirt had rips and it was stained with blood. His cargo pants contained holsters for what you assumed were guns and knives but he didn’t have them.

“What happened to you?” You asked as you sat in front of him. He raised an eyebrow at you, almost perplexed at why you even sat in front of him while he was still very clearly infected.

He didn’t answer to your question, he was still wary of you but there was a certain gaze in his eyes.

Hunger.

His eyes remained on your neck but then he stood up and took slow and staggering steps towards you.

“You smell…” he started. So he can talk. He just chooses not to. He narrowed his eyes at you as he tried to put your scent into words.

And then, without warning, he quickly pulled your wrists and pressed your body against his. He stuffed his face on your neck and took a heavy sniff on your skin, he groaned as the scent infiltrated his nose.

“Smells good,” he whispered. He dragged his tongue around the pulse point of your neck. You tried to fight him but something told you that he wasn’t all that dangerous. He seemed human. A little too human.

He pulled back and gave your body a once over, something else caught his nose. His nose flared as his eyes narrowed at you.

“Blood,” he whispered as he eyes you suspiciously, ���you’re bleeding…” I croaked out in a raspy voice. You looked at him confused.

Bleeding? You clearly weren’t injured so what—oh.

He could smell that you were bleeding from your period. You mentally cursed yourself, is that why that hoard of zombies were following you earlier today? No wonder.

He took a step towards you, almost as if wanted to smell you again. But this time, you didn’t fight it. You were almost amused as to see what he was going to do.

At first, you thought he was going to lunge at you and bite you. But it took you by surprise when all of a sudden, he leaned down and grabbed your ankles. He then pulled on them, causing you to fall on your back. You looked at him perplexed, was this a new of attacking someone?

“I want to taste,” he voiced in a hoarse tone. His voice was deeper and almost needy. He wanted—no, he needed to taste you.

He was a starved man and you were the perfect oasis he could feast on. He got on his knees and settled between your legs but he didn’t do anything yet.

He may be infected but he was still a gentleman.

“Please,” he begged as he looked at you with pleading eyes. His mouth was watering, he could practically taste the metallic blood on his tongue and it was driving his primal instincts crazy.

“Please let me taste you,” he whispered again as his hands traveled along your thighs. You were almost tempted to say no and kill him on the spot. But he was handsome and he seemed smart. Maybe you’d keep him for your journeys.

With a slight nod of your head, he didn’t waste time on taking off your pants and panties in one swift motion.

His tongue darted out and he licked his lips upon seeing the sight of your bloody cunt in front of him. It was like a buffet for him. He slowly eased himself further on the floor as his face neared your entrance. The strong coppery smell of your blood made him act like a whole different man.

He went from needy and pleading to one that wasted no time in ravaging you. He traced his tongue along the slit of your entrance, tasting your blood that had caused his body to shiver. He groaned a guttural groan and waiting no time in darting his tongue inside your cunt to lap at the blood, making sure to suck and clean you off.

You were shocked but when you felt his tongue, the sensation made you throw your head back and grip his hair tightly in your hand. You pulled his head closer as he continued his ministrations with his tongue. He flicked and licked everywhere he could.

His hands gripped at your hips as your moans filled the air and it was enough for him to just keep going. For a moment, all he could think about was quenching his devilish hunger. To finally be able to feast on such sweet and addictive blood was like a miracle.

He knew you were getting aroused and although this was something new for you, you couldn’t help but feel attracted to it. To this.

You’ve only ever heard of men eating women out on their period but to actually experience it made you feel blessed. Maybe not all men were bad. But was he even considered a human? You didn’t know and you didn’t care. His mouth on your cunt felt good.

Slick and blood dripped down his face and for a moment you wondered if he could breathe. He hasn’t pulled back at all to catch his breath, he was a possessed man. Starved and munching on you.

The coil in your stomach started to stretch as he kept eating you as if you were a five star restaurant. He didn’t stop, he only went faster. His lips were firmly pressed against your cunt as his tongue swirled inside you, licking and tasting each ounce of blood that came from within you.

“I’m gonna—“ you said as you gripped his hair tightly. He only grunted in response and dragged his tongue along your slit until he found your clit, he flicked it with his tongue before he sucked on it. But the smell of blood was intoxicating and he couldn’t help but dive back into your bloody pussy.

He felt your walls pulsate and around him as you grinded your hips along his face. He didn’t fight against you, in fact, he encouraged you.

Your body arched as you came around his face and he licked off any remnant of blood and cum that came out of you.

He looked up at you as he watched your chest heave up and down from coming down from your high. His lips pressed one final kiss on your cunt before he pulled back and wiped the juices off his face with the back of his hand—before he licked the back of his hand.

“You taste even better than I imagined,” he whispered and stood up. He took your clothes from the floor and held them to you.

He watched as you got dressed but he didn’t attack. For a zombie, he seemed rather nice and friendly. For now at least.

“Let’s make a deal,” you said after you caught your breath, “You help me and in return I’ll let you do this again.”

His eyes narrowed in suspicious. It seemed like a good deal. Almost too good, “How do I know you won’t lie?”

“You’ll just have to trust me,” you said as you smirked at him and patted his cheek, “Come now. We’ve got places to explore and loot.”

As you began to walk ahead, he couldn’t help but scoff at your assertive nature. He thought you were crazy for wanting him to join you but he also couldn’t pass the chance of eating out your blood again. So, he followed behind you.

“By the way,” you started as he walked next to you, “You didn’t answer my question. What happened to you and how can you talk?”

He looked at you with a raised brow and a smirk, “I got the vaccine years ago but I still got ambushed.”

“Okay… but how do I also know you won’t do that to me?” You asked with skepticism.

He maintained that smug smirk on his and he stopped walking as he stared down at you, “You’ll just have to trust me.”

He began to walk ahead as you remained shocked, he just gave you your own words. A dry scoff escaped your lips and you quickly ran behind him.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

[boopshoops]

TWST OC INTRODUCTION - TCOAV

Salem Lee - The Profane and the Sacred

Name: Salem Lee

Nicknames: Maybell, Ichthys

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Bi-Sapiosexual

Birthday: June 29 (Cancer)

Age: 19 in canon TWST age, 21 in TCOAV AU

Height: 5'3 or 159cm

Voice Claim(s): Carolina Ravassa

Twisted from: ;)

Unique Magic: "The Witches' Sabbath" The witches' sabbath was once described as a nocturnal gathering to perform rituals for demons, now it is used by Salem to call upon others for aid. Using her familiar, Eugene, some of the surrounding nature can be pulled towards his body, morphing into what is essentially a black hole. Once absorbing enough material, Eugene can transform into a pitch black beacon. This solely alerts other magic users in a twenty-five mile radius to her location, and those who are around the beacon during its activation receive is a significant boost in power, along with less blot accumulation. However, the spell cannot be activated while she and Eugene are separated.

Grade: N/A

Job: Waitress (with hairdressing and baking commissions as a side)

Hobbies: Writing, baking, cooking, tarot reading, good old-fashioned reading, magic study.

Likes: Chocolate Pave, anything chocolate really, spring, summer, herbology, mycology, witchcore, goth music/style, lunar science.

Dislikes: Improper self care, being dismissed or ignored, nutella, mainstream sns, the dark, a messy environment, too much free time.

Fears: Losing loved ones due to negligence, being ghosted, not being taken seriously by those she loves, heights.

Summary: Moon fae, known for maturing similarly to humans and forgoing excellence in magic to trade for even longer life spans, are rare. Even rarer, however, are those like Salem, who work tirelessly to reclaim their magic in a magicless land. The results of her efforts? A sputtering, gooey, feline familiar with a tendency to absorb anything and everything.

Despite her typically serious and down to earth personality, this has landed her in trouble a good handful of times. She's no stranger to chaos, or the cops for that matter, but despite all of this, she is a gentle old soul with an endless capacity for care. She believes magic is the perfect means to keep her friends and family out of trouble. "No magic" seems like a stupid law in comparison when it could keep them all happy, healthy, and safe.

This belief does come with more downsides than simply breaking the law, though, as her abilities are quite... limited. While Salem has an unending passion for the craft, she also tends to overestimate herself. With her main focus being on fortune-telling and clairvoyance, she will often find herself extremely paranoid by the little things, given the (more than likely) chance her predictions are incorrect. Even with how much this may drive herself and her close ones crazy, she is, in the end, just trying her best.

Character Playlist - Outfit Inspiration - Moon Fae Info Post (TBD)

Author's Note: Salem has been around for awhile- though I never quite use her as often as I should. It felt like everytime I tried to insert her into some new AU, something would come up :P Anywho, She is a rather neutral character. She doesn't care a bunch about morality as long as it follows her own code- which, hey, I guess explains how she could end up with and be exes with Yuu Shi. Aftermath of doomed yuri? ya. Unfortunately she has not been transported outside of Dusk Summit like my other characters, so it will be awhile until there is more content with her. bUT i still wanna do more with her rather than just have her be "Yuu's ex."

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

All Funk, No Punk - Still Hobart Brown

Gold chains instead of silver spikes. Gator shoes in place of thrifted boots. And an afro bigger than Hobie's -

Spider-Funk is Hobart Brown - Earth 831

Hobie Brown maybe Artie's chiller, rougher, and louder self - but somehow, they get on like a cop car on fire (or whatever the saying is).

And Artie Brown maybe Hobie's cockier, flirtier, and flashier self - but they just tell people they're twins.

Or at the very least - they call each other 'brotha' and 'bruv' all the time.

When people ask about the accent thing - you know, Artie being American, they say 'Ever seen The Parent Trap?'

[A LONG ASS post - Below is Artie's Origins, Fighting Style, Relationship to Hobie, and how he got recruited - All About the Brown Bros! Artie & Hobie, FunkPunk!]

It's Hobie 2 - Electric Bugaloo!

And just when Miguel thought he could only stomach one of them.

Though he calls himself the older brother, being born over a decade earlier, Artie is Hobie's less mature, more materialistic, but just as kind variant.

He's a pacifist instead of an anarchist - Full of Soul instead of bursting with Rock.

And he still hates cops.

Origins:

When Artie was drafted for the Vietnam War in 1969 - the first thing he did was burn his draft card. Then he joined the Black Liberation Army.

He wasn't the only one - Artie was part of the almost half a million draftees to do so.

And then President Osborn was elected.

To fill the gap in enlistment, Osborn came up with a solution.

V.E.N.O.M - A highly toxic, unfeelingly aggressive, and wildly bloodthirsty symbiote. A solution to the protests and draft dodgers.

Engineered by Oscorp - if you didn't induct yourself as a soldier, the V.E.N.O.M would make you one. And suddenly his friends were disappearing one by one.

A subtle but sudden-onset disease, the V.E.N.O.M variant was nearly undetectable, very persuasive, and incredibly effective.

More primal than animalistic, the symbiote's function didn't raise one's bloodlust, - instead it lowered, and at worse cancelled, your empathy. The symbiote subtly normalized dehumanization - attacking neurons in the cerebral cortex to destroy one's capability of empathy, compassion, and at times - recognizing faces. Able to follow commands without a second thought - the perfect soldier. Convincing the host of necessary order and their own biological superiority, over the course of 72 hours the host would lose their ability to recognize the people around them as anything other than sub-human. In 138, V.E.N.O.M turns you into an animal. In 831, V.E.N.O.M turns everyone around you into an animal.

It could make anyone into an unfeeling, unrelenting soldier - no guns needed.

The best of them got sent overseas to the War - and the rest, he turned on the people, hunting down all those who dared to dodge their call.

While on tour in DC, Artie was bitten by a radioactive spider, as he attempted to burn draft papers at a government facility.

He burned the papers. Plus he got some sick powers out of it. Plus Plus he gets to beat up The National Guard on a weekly basis. Ain't that a score.

And Hobie may hate the name Spider-Punk (or so he says), but Artie loves being Spider-Funk.

He calls them Funk & Punk. Hobie calls them that too, but like in a cool ironic way.

Artie & Hobie:

Personality:

Hobie knows that Artie is going through his 'Pavitr Phase', so he cuts him some slack. Artie's only been Funk for a year and some change.

He's got more Ws than Ls, so he's always one to be a bit cocky and reckless - though never at anyone's expense.

He's more talkative than Hobie - and WAY more flirty than Hobie, ready to wink at anyone willing to stare.

Like Hobie, Artie has his own groupies. And the pair on campus do get stares (and whispers. and giggles); Two 6'5 dudes with enough hair to cause an eclipse, walking around in loud ass boots, they're sure to draw attention.

Something Artie loves.

Artie considers himself a Ladies' Man. And a Man's Man. And what gender you have to offer really. (He's still a 'Hobie' - he doesn't discriminate)

He's got a waterbed in his boathouse, shag carpets, and wine at the ready. He loves sweet-talking people, and showering them in compliments. Whereas Hobie's love language is Physical Touch, Artie's is Words of Affirmation.

But all Hobie has to do is open his mouth and Be British and suddenly Artie's date is swooning and he's like 'Brotha, I'mma need you to shut the hell up for a second right quick.'

If you hang out with them, get ready for Hobie hanging off your shoulder, while Artie is in your ear complimenting your outfit.

Fighting:

Artie's fighting style is a lot more fluid than Hobie's with a lot of martial arts involved - similar to blaxploitation movies of the era.

Hobie thinks he looks bloody ridiculous meanwhile Artie is like 'if dem damn jeans weren't so tight maybe you could get like me and have some flair in your fight, my man.'

He also has an INCREDIBLY MEAN backhand.

Ideology:

The two of them are fairly close, hanging out with each other a lot. Though the two of them are fairly different. Artie is far more pacifist than Hobie, but that doesn't mean he's above violence.

He's just not one to talk about it, or threaten it. He's more of the 'let people talk - don't start none, won't be none'. Camp - and he'll almost never throw the first punch. Though he absolutely considers intimidation, selling hard drugs, and fucking with the general population 'starting some'.

Their ideology may clash heads everyone once in a while, but they hardly ever fight. At all. Instead, they have frequently heated, in-depth debates.

Artie may not be as radical or educated on things as Hobie, plus Hobie has ten years of extra history to pull from, but the two of them do it often, and it keeps them spry.

The only problem is, they get so into it, it SO HARD to understand what they're saying. Accents, slang, cutting each other off, roping other people into the conversation to back them up. It's WILD.

Artie is a lot more materialistic than Hobie. Not as critical of capitalism, Artie likes to game it rather than complain about it.

Unlike Hobie, Artie LOVES the finer things in life, and spoiling those around him. He likes gold over silver, and wears more rings than spikes.

He's a bit full of himself, and he carries a rag in his pocket to whip blood off his nice white boots. Something Hobie wouldn't be caught DEAD doing.

And Hobie clowns him for it everytime. Artie doesn't care. 'True playas never play sloppy.'

But how can he afford all of this? Well,

He's not as uhh,..honest as Hobie. But he has a heart of gold (get it?). And he never lies just to lie - if he's doing it, it's probably for work, or to Miguel, because he does not respect Miguel.

Artie be stealing. He's a master at sleight of hand. If it's a big corporation, it's free game. He never steals money - but to put it concisely: He's a smooth mfer.

He likes gold - he thinks it looks nice. But he knows for a fact that the worth of it is completely manufactured my human and capitalism, and that it's literally just a pretty metal.

He knows that paying hundreds for a chain or gold is exploitative, especially when it's stolen to begin with. So to him, it's justifiable, gimmie.

He also does it mostly for fun, a magic trick - in the same way Hobie makes stuff 'disappear' while talking to Miles, and doing hand tricks.

Artie does that, but more often, and more skillfully.

He doesn't do it all the time, but the first time he did it in front of Hobie - snatching Hobie's homemade watch of his wrist - Hobie was genuinely surprised.

Mostly he does it to make things disappear from your hand, parts he finds lying around, and playing pranks on people like Miguel. Generally, just being a lil shit.

He's a sweet-talker and a big steppa.

Unlike Hobie, Artie knows better than you force his way in. Artie slides in. He can talk them in to anywhere.

He'll pretend to be someone else, pretend to know someone else, steal passes and key cards to get in, and try to attack from the shadows when he can.

In battle, Spider-Punk is the louder, chattier, more immature one. And Spider-Funk is the chiller, sarcastic one.

Like twins, the two of them have their own in-jokes, and they hang at each other's places all the goddamn time. Though they live in different universes and decades, Artie & Hobie are kinda a package deal.

They may not always be together - they both got their own shit to do and they're not actually brothers - but if you hang with one, it's only a matter of time before you meet the other.

"Why is your brother American?" "Divorce." - "Adoption." ........ "Adoption." - "Divorce." "One of you or the both of you are lying."

Diane & Artie & Annie -

[This section is about my main OC Disco-Spider Diane, and her variant Annie P. Disco-Spider is Hobie's....something and they are happily....a something]

Every Hobart needs his Diane, and Artie is no different.

Artie & Diane:

And like usual, it all starts at the beginning.

Diane was the one to recruit Artie - because of course she was. And Lyla had told her two things: He was a guitarist, and his name was Artie. That's all she needed to know.

Lyla wanted it to be a surprise.

She snuck back stage to his show, brushed off the nearly palpable feeling of deja vu in the air, broke into his dressing room, and then tried to flirt him into joining the Society. Easy peasy.

Diane is a very oblivious woman. They spoke for nearly 10 minutes - and Artie decided to hear her out. He sat down on the couch in his dressing room, pulled back his hair and-

Diane goes -

"Hobie??? Is that you?! Oh my goodddd, you look so cute! Your hair!! Hobarrrrt - Why you ain't say nothing, had me standing here doing all this."

Speech completely forgotten. Mind you, she still hasn't explained anything. Diane is destined to freak out every Hobart she meets.

Artie is starting to think he should stop flirting with weird ass groupies that break into his dressing room.

Diane takes out her watch, the watch he doesn't know she has. She pulls up Lyla, the AI he doesn't know she has. And Diane asks her -

"Lyla! Does Artie stand for-" "It does!" "Oh my god!!! That makes this SO much easier! You're soo sweet, awww!!" "You know I saw the mission and thought of you-" "Am I on drugs right now?"

Needless to say - Diane's recruitment was successful.

Diane and Artie actually get on well, really well. Like weirdly well.

Artie and Diane are both extroverted, flirty, and a bit full of themselves. They're expressive, and more into their hair than they're willing to admit. They're perfect for each other - and people notice.

And Diane finds it a TAD BIT WEIRD

I mean, the differences between her and Hobie is what Diane loves about them - they're like sugar and spice, PB and J.

Sometimes Artie and Diane may accidentally finish each other's sentences - and Diane will be like 'Hey don't do that :)'. Other times, Artie will playfully be like 'Why are you standing so close to me, mama?' Just to piss her off.

Of course, Diane thinks he's 'cute'. But not Hobie Cute. And unfortunately, he 'speaks American'.

Besides, Hobie is the only Hobart for her.

Artie is definitely into Diane, but more in the 'she's a catch I would go for' kinda way. He did hit on her a couple times early on in their situation - but once she made it clear that she was 'seeing Hobie', he took the hint.

There's no jealously there - Hobarts are incapable of it. In fact, he's kinda proud the only other guy who could pull the hot girl is ..another him.

Now, Artie is a lot more like a big brother, kinda like the ones Diane grew up with in the Panther's house.

He's protective of her, in a 'Be mean to her and I'll deliver an ass whoppin on a plate' way. He thinks she's cute in the way a platonic sense, and finds her groupie mode to be as amusing as it is adorable.

It's ironic though that his ACTUAL girlfriend is - well, Diane's Opposite.

Artie & Annie:

[This section is shorter, and will be longer in Annie's post]

Diane Pastors is Annie P. is Mod-Spider.

Artie's girlfriend, Annie is the farthest thing from Diane while somehow still being just as big of a diva.

An avid feminism campaigner and modern woman, she would never be caught DEAD hanging off of Artie like that. And she can't stomach Diane all that much.

Hobie, Annie HATES. And not in a coy way. She thinks he's obnoxious - she calls him a poseur. She thinks he's a scrub.

Her & Artie are in a committed relationship - officially boyfriend and girlfriend. And instead of Annie, Artie is the one who wears her name on a chain.

Just like Diane and Hobie, Annie and Artie have a musical duo - called ModFunk.

We're almost done I PROMISE.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Random Details:

Artie's design is an inverted version of Hobie's, but it's also inspired heavily by Jimi Hendrix, mainly this photo on the left.

Right is an example of Artie's Style. His universe has a paint-marker aesthetic, a lot more colorful and soft than Hobie's, with dripping paint and splatters, but it tones down a lot - like Gwen's.

Artie plays Soul, Jazz, and Funk.

He has a band with his version of Daredevil, Felicia Hardy, and Captain Anarchy.

Artie has killed cops - and soldiers before. But he doesn't see it as a big deal. He hates cops, but he doesn't focus on it. He doesn't discriminate. Ass Whoopin's for everybody.

He DOES pull his hair back, his face isn't covered all the time. Maybe 80% of the time.

He can get around with Spidey Sense, so he doesn't care much - he loves his fro and is always picking it out.

He Pavitr are like best friends. Pavi and The Brown Twins get LOUD AS HELL when all together.

Gwen thinks he's an absolute goofball - So Artie tries his best to make her laugh. She seems like she needs it.

When not on stage and in battle, he prefers to play an acoustic guitar, which Hobie doesn't like playing. His acoustic is also blue.

Him and Hobie can play on each other's guitars, but it sounds very trippy, and VERY VERY weird, abnormally so.

If their heads are covered, or hair done like each other's, they can seamlessly pass as each other.

Hobie SUCKS at an American accent - but somehow, he can mimic Artie's perfectly.

It's the same for Artie - sucks at British, but can speak like Hobie.

He loves chocolate candy bars, Hobie likes fruity candy.

They do write songs together and go to each others shows, though they don't ever really perform together.

They wrestle A LOT

Artie is a genius as well, and they work on mechanics together, Artie is great at math specifically.

He and Hobie do each others hair care and help oil each other's scalps.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So uh.....that's Artie :) The guy

If you made it this far THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ENTERTAINING ME - Artie platonically gives you a red rose.

ALSO TELL ME Why I tried to draw him like Jimi Hendrix But he looking like the Jackson 5 IM SO SORRY YALL

Here's OG Hobie as a thank you! Just imagine two Hobarts standing on either side of you both tall and with big hair and touchy and talkative as fuck Diane is living the DREAM let your OCs be happy

Bye.

[the-badger-mole]

What is your NUMBER ONE headcannon for each person in the Gaang (Katara, Zuko, Aang, Toph, Sokka, Suki [and Appa and Momo if you feel so inclined])

Katara: After the war, she goes back to the NWT to train with Yugoda and becomes a master healer as well as a master of the NWT fighting style. From there, she goes back to the Foggy Swamp Tribe and masters their bending style, too. With the help of Sokka, Zuko, and (in some headcanons) Hama, she also rediscovers SWT waterbending and not only masters it, but teaches it to the new benders in the SWT. By the time she leaves the SWT, there has been a school established where all bending styles are available for study. She's one of the few who actually has mastered them all, though.

Sokka: He is eager to return home after the war. He throws himself into infrastructure and policy revamps, and he almost singlehandedly staves off the soft colonization attempts of the NWT. Under his efforts, the SWT rebuilds and reestablishes parts of its culture that had been lost during the war. With the discovery of oil on SWT land, he is also instrumental in establishing eco minded extraction techniques, and in trade ties with the rest of the world (although he is very much helped by his sister's deep ties with the Fire Lord). It's a surprise to no one when he's chosen to lead the SWT after Hakoda retires.

Toph: She does not become a cop. Instead, she goes back home and takes over the Earth Rumble, taking it from an underground even to a world wide phenomenon. She eventually allows benders of other elements to join, and the Earth Rumble becomes pro bending. She does also establish a metal bending school. In the end, she is wealthier than her parents, but because she couldn't really care less about money, she keeps enough to live at the standard she wants, and gives the rest away to causes that interest her...like the guy who wanted to set the record for the biggest bao bun ever, and needed funding for an oven big enough to cook it. She also establishes a halfway house for runaway teens.

Zuko: During his tenure as Fire Lord, he establishes a robust social services program that includes subsidized healthcare, education, and housing for the lowest income families. Under his reign, the Fire Nation becomes home to some of the earliest pioneers of mental health. At his wife's advice, he also makes paid maternity leave standard across the nation, and includes several programs to help single parents stay afloat. Taking inspiration from the SWT, Zuko makes some changes to how his advisory staff is selected. Instead of choosing from among the nobility, Zuko has the different provinces elect a representative to speak on their behalf. A lot of the nobles hate this, blaming his wife's influence, but the people adore their monarchs and despite their best efforts, there's little the nobles can do except start campaigning in their home provinces. It's not a perfect system, but it does open the door for the Fire Nation to end the monarchy within a couple of generations.

Suki: She continues to lead the Kyoshi Warriors for a few years after the war. She also helps train troops around the world as they pivot from active war service to more local work. She helps establish something like the coast guards for several different countries. Eventually she retires from that to help her husband run the SWT. She and Sokka make a wonderful team as he handles the domestic policies and she handles foreign affairs. She often jokes with her sister in law, Fire Lady Katara that they ended up with the same job.

Aang: I'll go with my most optimistic headcanon for him. He's an okay Avatar. Not great. Not the worst. After the war, he tries to take part in rebuilding efforts around the world, but he finds his help isn't needed much. He turns his attention back to salvaging what's left of the Air Nomad legacy, and discovers that there are actually airbenders still around. A few of them are even interested in learning to live like the Air Nomads. Many of them aren't, though, and after learning how to actually use their powers, they go off and do their own thing. To Aang's shock and dismay, eating meat has no effect on the strength of their bending, He does learn to deal with it and enjoy his time with the air benders who embrace the Air Nomad culture. He does go on to have kids, and he still favors the benders over the nonbenders. Ultimately, his legacy as Avatar boils down to taking Ozai's bending, and that's it.

[grapebritain]

Pretty much everything Shawn does can be pinpointed back to his childhood, and it's sad too see because most of his toxic traits could have been mended if his parents just had a bit of stability, or just where a little less controlling when he was younger.

His relationship with henry for example is one of the most obvious pointers to why Shawn is the way he is.

Shawn HATES losing, he hates not being on top and he hates not being the centre of attention. Even though some of this is ego, a lot of this is to do with self worth issues as well which is why he gets so irritable when people 'beat' him.

One time this behaviour really stuck out to me like a sore thumb was an episode or two after "from earth to starbucks". In the episode itself , shawn helps lassie with his mental health. he gets it so he feels as though he can solve cases again, and as a result of his confidence boast Lassiter really DOES start solving cases on his own much better than he was before. Evethough Shawn clearly was happy for him at first, and does care a whole lot about Lassiter than he would say out loud, a few episodes after when Lassie starts getting TOO good, Shawn starts acting pretty toxic about him and competitive. Which is a little paradoxical when originally he wanted him to be better, and do better than he was before. I'm pretty sure he does anyway cuz i remember watched a few eps after being like "why is he doing that, i thought he wanted him to do better?".

Regardless, Shawn starts getting hostile to people "better" than him because his dad basically engraved into him that if you are anything other than a winner , you are a loser and you see this all the way from episode 1. When shawn wants cake, he has to get all the hats in the room perfect otherwise he won't get anything. This same thing comes up again when he goes to his dad much older now to ask for help. he has to "win" the hat game in order to get anything out of his father. No matter if his dad had good intentions or not with it, mostly only rewarding shawn when he wins and being so intense about being 'the perfect cop' MADE shawn hate being anything other than the top of the top. the best of the best. Especially when it came to police work.

It's why he gets hostile over any form of competition, and even gets more hostile when people in his life show more interest in anyone but him. He does it with Jules, he does it with Lassiter, and i think he may even do it to gus at some stage. Jules it was her boyfriends, because he viewed himself as the 'best' to be with her. He was on top, so he should be the one to be her boyfriend right..? Then with Lassiter, there are two guys that are somewhat similar to shawn,are good at police work and Lassie clearly admires a lot which makes Shawn pretty heated and sulky that Lassie is no longer looking to him. With gus he got annoyed because Lassiter started spending time with him and 'took away' his best friend from him when be believed gus was HIS friend, not Lassies.

life doesn't work as black and white as 'winner and loser' .People don't have to be the 'best of the best 'to 'earn' love and appreciation, which seems to confuse and aggravate Shawn. It sort of makes him insecure. If people like them more, they...must be better than him because the 'best' are only deserving of appreciation. Well, in his eyes anyway. I think some part of him knows thats insanity as he only has this mentality with his own self worth, but because it was programmed into him at such a young age, it isn't something he can easily brush aside.

To him, having someone be admired more than him, to be 'better' than him for even a second basically diminished his value as a person and makes him less deserving. That and he still feels as though hes the best so people should be looking at him (bro has a HUGE ego). A lot of his anger issues have roots in insecurity , especially this one, and i think it's why for a comedy show there is something so....almost tragic about Shawn despite all the jokes and references he makes.

[acquired-stardust]

Game Spotlight #15: Policenauts (1996)

Ash finds herself firmly back in the Kojimaverse as she talks about the 1996 Sega Saturn version of Policenauts for Acquired-Stardust's first spotlight of our second year. Disappointing followup or misunderstood masterpiece? And just what is a "sexy adventure" anyway? Come read along as we answer all these questions and more!

Oh, Hideo Kojima. When last we covered his work in written form on the blog it was almost a year ago in the form of a spotlight on 1994's Sega CD port of Snatcher (which you can read by clicking here). If it wasn't already abundantly clear let me state the obvious: I'm a huge fan of the man and his work. I think he's one of gaming's top creative geniuses alongside the likes of Yasumi Matsuno, Fumito Ueda and Yoko Taro. But you could be forgiven for not sharing that feeling when looking at Policenauts on a surface level or by taking common talking points about it at face value.

Policenauts is something of a black sheep in the Kojima portfolio that is often maligned by people for being 'Snatcher but worse'. It has a similar fish out of water setup taking place in a near-future science fiction world. Its lead character, the womanizing Jonathan Ingram, has a similar relationship with a former lover to Snatcher's Gillian Seed and even looks a bit like him, a point that is alluded to in the game itself as part of a meta cameo (one of several callbacks and references to Snatcher). The sexuality and its use for attempts at comedy can be obnoxious and over the top. Some of the themes of Policenauts are also retreads of themes Snatcher deals with, which can certainly dip into feeling like they were less effective this time around. What's more, the game is far more linear and on-rails than Snatcher, presenting far fewer opportunities to tinker with it and discover much in the way of hidden easter eggs or cleverly placed extras. Some of its later developments feel a little bit like 'a hat on a hat' and not entirely necessary. Its featured romance is very forced and odd (though ultimately executed extremely well). These things are all true.

Be that as it may, make no mistake about it: Policenauts is a fantastic experience that is, like its lead character, a fascinating time capsule from a long gone era. Following a similar blueprint to Snatcher's usage of various sci-fi media (most notably Blade Runner), Policenauts is heavily patterned after the Lethal Weapon franchise, and uses the familiarity one may have with its buddy cop formula to get its foot in the door before subverting your expectations as it deviates into its own original work rather quickly.

Opening after an accident in combination policeman-astronaut (the titular Policenauts) Jonathan Ingram's testing of a high tech mech suit during a spacewalk outside of the space colony Beyond Coast that sends him adrift in space for 25 years while cryogenically frozen, Jonathan picks up where he left off by becoming a private investigator of meager success in Earth's Old LA. Finding himself a stranger in a world he is 25 years removed from and stricken with severe cosmophobia from his ordeal. Jonathan's former wife has moved on and remarried. His four fellow policenauts have settled into comfortable lives on space colony Beyond Coast as something of heroes and celebrities. Forced to overcome his cosmophobia when a very personal case sends him once more to Beyond Coast, Jonathan reunites with his best friend and former fellow policenaut Ed Brown (himself still a cop on the aforementioned space colony) to unravel a conspiracy.

It's often said that Jonathan is a very unlikable character, but I find the opposite to be true. There is a solemness, sadness and resilience to him that comes across very well, being inherently at odds with a time that did not stop and life that moved on without him. Much is also made, as previously noted, of his womanizing, and I'd like to address that talking point by first pointing out that much like Snatcher, the vast majority (in fact all but one or two instances) of the sexuality of the game is entirely optional and serves as a bit of meta humor. Jonathan's inability to control himself is a direct result of his literal inability to control himself as he is at the complete mercy of the player, who can decide to pester multiple female characters to with zero benefit. Just as well, Policenauts lands firmly in the genre of something I like to call 'Sexy Adventure', a term borrowed from a song featured in the iconic Lupin III franchise that contains works you might be familiar with such as Space Dandy, City Hunter, Dirty Pair and indeed Lupin III.

Several tropes of the genre include a strong sense of Japanese sensuality and horniness, action sequences involving guns and cars, romance, large scale conspiracies and characters who are masters of their particular fields to an absurd degree. Jonathan's womanizing, something almost exclusively indulged in as optional behavior by the player, is certainly less than Arsene Lupin III for example, but coming to terms with the horniness of this micro-genre is imperative if you hope to enjoy anything it has to offer. Just as well, Policenauts' original release platform before being ported to the Sega Saturn was the PC98 which (along with the earlier PC88) was known for a frankly overwhelming amount of pornographic hentai games. To a large extent this was very much the norm for games on the platform and the time, and while nothing in Policenauts borders on pornographic, the sexuality of it is to be expected.

Policenauts doubles down on a distinguishing feature of Snatcher in its thorough worldbuilding, and is perhaps the key area that the game shines in most especially when compared to Snatcher. Containing an in-game encyclopedia that is always accessible at the touch of a button, it is dauntingly dense and features countless clickable entries detailing many aspects of life, culture and science in the Policenauts universe, often dipping into heavy doses of hard science with surprisingly detailed explanations behind even mundane parts of everyday life on Beyond Coast, such as biodegradable plastics, a problem which Kojima envisioned solved by 2040. I was a bit taken aback by given the foresight of the plastics issue given our own real-world news cycles being dominated by topics like microplastics in recent years.

The level of real science involved in the encyclopedia is rewarding for those of us who like to devour every bit of information we can get our hands on and can pick out the real from the fictional and it helps make Beyond Coast feel all the more real. The sci-fi Japanifornia that is Beyond Coast is almost a character unto itself to an even further extent than Snatcher's setting of Neo Kobe and remains in my book one of the most fleshed out and believable settings in all of gaming. Furthermore the knowledge Hideo Kojima has in a time before the level of availability and access to information we have in the current internet age is hugely impressive.

Overwhelming density is a recurring aspect of the game which may make or break your enjoyment of it. For a game that is less interactive than Snatcher it is somehow more dense, intimidatingly so if you are willing to indulge in its encyclopedia and really study the universe that Kojima created. The player is also able to examine a shocking number of elements of backgrounds and get multiple optional lines of dialogue about them, although as previously noted Policenauts offers much less in the way of diversion and distraction, and is significantly more linear.

Some of the core themes and strengths of Policenauts are similar to Snatcher, and while not all of them are as well executed this time around, a number of them exceed Snatcher. The importance of family, as well as different utilizations of it, is highlighted through the game. For Jonathan it is a trauma. A source of obligation and a constant reminder of not belonging in the world. Fellow former policenauts Ed Brown and Joseph Sadaoki Tokugawa are also used to explore these themes, with Ed's family keeping him grounded after personal and professional tragedy leaves him similarly traumatized and Tokugawa's lineage is a guiding beacon, instilling in him an ambition that sees his rise to the head of the Tokugawa Corporation, which has become large enough in the 25 years Jonathan spent in cryo sleep that it's said to quite literally own outer space. Ed's scenes with his family are perhaps the emotional core of the game and are shockingly well done for a game that features slapping a woman's breasts in an attempt to swat a mosquito.

Further themes explored are the way that the past becomes the future, and how easily it is manipulated by bad actors with agendas when few people who lived through it are around to contradict those agendas and narratives. Policenauts also plays into real history in its utilization of time as a story theme with its character names, often referencing real Sengoku-era Japanese family clans.

It is a fascinating predictor for some of the subjects explored through some of Kojima's later works. The toll that time takes on individuals is is also a constant fixture of the story. Pioneering heroes become broken down and traumatized. Corruption will slowly trickle in if you allow it to in ways that a past self would've stood against. One's life can always change in the future for both better and worse in ways that the present self could never have foreseen.

Jonathan contrasts Snatcher's Gillian Seed masterfully in this particular regard as a man who is a literal manifestation of the past, confronting his former comrades and the state of the world head-on as a reminder of the bright ideals that guided mankind to space to begin with. Also of particular note, without delving too much into spoiler territory, is the remarkable way that Jonathan trusts the corrupting factor of time to help Ed's son Marc given all the damage Jon has seen it do to those around him as well as the world itself.

Although there is a genuine tension to the game as well as a real feeling of both being and interacting with important in-universe figures, the conclusion of the game is a bit lackluster and sudden. Policenauts' plot is largely intentionally predictable, only containing a few twists you might not expect. The game's romance, previously noted as being a bit inexplicable, is ultimately resolved very satisfyingly and in a way that reinforces some prominent themes of the game.

Just as well the game takes criticism of Snatcher (and adventure games as well as visual novels as a whole) a little unevenly. It is far more linear than Snatcher, but features significantly more combat sections that see the player shoot an ungodly number of bullets and drop a frankly impossibly comedic amount of enemies by the end of the game. They are unnecessary and detract from the experience a bit, but understandable over-correctons to criticism of the traditional Japanese adventure game genre as well as Snatcher in particular.

As an aside, Policenauts features one of the most clever inclusions of a sound test mode that allows you to listen to various tracks from the game including its haunting opening theme "End of the Dark" as well as the fantastic "One Night in Neo Kobe" that was featured in the opening of Snatcher.

Policenauts is an uneven experience that in some ways reflects common trappings of its time while also looking forward to humanity's future. It asks some very pertinent questions about humanity's ability to conquer big issues if we are so unable to conquer the worst aspects of ourselves. Its usage of time and the trauma it can inflict on even the best of us can be rather sobering to see, and Jonathan's hope for Ed's son in the face of that is rather inspiring.

In some ways it reacts too strongly to criticism of adventure games as whole as well as Snatcher in particular by creating a lighter, more predictable and linear experience with more lightgun gameplay segments that detract from the overall package. Its sexuality and hamfisted comedy that comes part and parcel with the sexy adventure micro-genre can be a pain point, and it can be off putting in its density if you allow it to be. In some ways it is inferior to Snatcher, which makes an incredible case for the necessity of actually playing a good adventure game rather than just watching it that Policenauts sadly does not live up to.

But despite it all Policenauts is every bit as clever as Snatcher and in some ways it is just as strong, if not even stronger, a predictor of Hideo Kojima's future runaway success with Metal Gear Solid. Its highs may often not reach the peaks that Snatcher does, but even its valleys remain far higher than most games you could spend your time on and it remains a constant influence on some of the most popular indie game standouts like VA-11 Hall-A, 2064: Read Only Memories and Mullet Mad Jack.

If you have an interest in the works of Hideo Kojima, traditional Japanese style adventure games or the sexy adventure micro-genre, a vacation to Beyond Coast might be just the thing for you.

A gem hidden among the stones, Policenauts is undoubtedly stardust.

-- Ash

[wilcze-kudly]

After reading your post in regards to Toph being a cop — in your opinion, what do you think she should’ve become if she didn’t become a cop?

Honestly, part of me doesn't even think Toph should become anything lol. Or at least, not at once. She deserves to have the freedom she wanted so much, so I'd honestly just want to see her travelling and experiencing the worldz doing whatever the hell she wants.

Something I've been thinking about way too much ehen it comes to Toph is how she didn't really set out to change the world/defeat Ozai, like the rest of the Gaang. Of course, I don't think she was apathetic towards their cause, but we can't forget that her main motivation was to free herself from her parents.

Which she achieved by travelling with the Gaang, making friends while also hrowing as a person. I truly believe that even in canon, those were the best years in Toph's life, which may be why she chose to live in the same swamp that set Aang on his journey to her.

So when the Gaang managed to defeat Ozai and the Fire Nation, it was a new start for Aang, Katara, Sokka and Zuko. But for Toph it was kind of the death of the freedom and companionship she loved from their travels.

After the war, the Gaang became political figures which sucks for Toph because a) she hates politics and b) it sets more restraints in how she operates. People know her as the Avatar's friend and so the underground fighters she used to run with see her as a lawbringer.

So I could see Toph trying to make bending battles more legal and accepted. Hell, I like the idea of her being heavily engaged in probending, if not helping develop it.

I like the idea of Toph never getting tied down to a profession, though.

It won't be the same with her not always being able to have the Gaang at her side, but I think she might enjoy going solo for a bit. I can see her as a risk taker and daredevil, always trying to find another challenge, be it by dealing with a bunch of bandits or climbing a tall mountain.

The members of the Gaang would probably occasionally tag along with her, particularly Aang when he gets that Nomad itch and she'd visit them frequently.

As she grows older she might become more accustomed to her new influence and role in the post war world, but I can't ever really see her engaging in politics on the level that Aang Katara, Sokka and Zuko would.

But I can see her trying to rebuild Earthbender culture and particularly try to bring Earthbending back to the finesse and artistry it had before the Fire Nation.

This ties back to the idea that due to the Fire Nation's constant invasion onto the Earth Kingdom, earthbending stopped being treated with the respect it used to have as a bending form. As Fire Nationals would see Earth Kingdom citizens as inferior and by extent, their bending arts. Plus rounding up all benders and locking them away wouldn't really create a space for techniques to be passed down. Additionally, Earthbenders themselves would probably have to prioritise combat based bending rather than the more artistic cultural aspects of it. Hence Earthbending being a sort of less refined or spiritual 'throw rock really hard'

While Toph doesn't have much of a regard for tradition, I think she still feels strongly about her ties to the Earth Kingdom and with timez I could see her wanting to bring Earthebender culture into the future. It could start with her pushing to relearn older techniques that were lost to time, and perhaps trying to retrieve artifacts stolen by the Fire Nation. (INDIANA JONES TOPH- *gets shot*)

Also, throughout the series we see her seem to develop an interest in non combative bending. So it would be interesting to see her try to revive artistry in earthbending, particularly sculpting. I think it would be kinda cute, since it would be the first time she would be able to engage with art without someone having to describe it for her.

Like look at how many statues of herself she made it's fucking adorable. Look at her gooo!

So I could see her following some artistic hobbies as well, maybe trying to restore old Earth Kingdom monuments and scupltures. Since I think seismic sense could help her with archeological endeavours etc, like it did with the library.

I don't know if Toph could enjoy one singular vocation, due to her constant need for challenge and stimulation, so I think travelling the world and looking for various adventures and jobs would be the best fit. Since even if she's passionate about something, she can get burnt out if things get too repetitive, as we see with her metalbending academy.

Essentially, I think she should become the dragonborn from Skyrim.

[3liza]

i think the answer to the medical question you see asked a lot about various trending medical conditions like fibromyalgia, autism, and hypermobility, "why does everyone suddenly have this disorder, this seems fake" is that they just arent that rare and conceptualizing them as "rare disorders" was a simple mistake at the time they were defined. and thinking of them as "disorders" is kind of a misnomer, they definitely cause distress in normal modern contexts but they're perfectly suited to all kinds of other situations, situations i've been in! situations where i was the only person able to ignore hunger or hyperfocus on a time-limited task or make rational and calm decisions while being shot at by cops at a protest because my nervous system is a little different.

at the risk of getting essentialist/evopsych for a minute, there are a LOT of evolutionary reasons 5-20% of the population being for lack of a better term, minmaxed for various tasks, is beneficial. yeah my joints are unstable but i also can climb trees, fit into very small areas like a cat, fold up comfortably in a plane seat, etc. my gastroparesis is constant torture but i also only have to eat as much and as often as your average ball python, and i dont starve to death on a caloric intake that would kill anyone with a normal metabolism. it's really easy to imagine scenarios in the history of humanity where famine or other crises were more survivable because my family had "special abilities" that were a pain in the ass during normal times. creaky knees and the occasional hip subluxation was probably a small price to pay for being able to squeeze through a small gap at the right time, survive hunger and cold, eat less than everyone else, or whatever. people with lipidema are, i think, well-represented in the "venus figurine" record and would have lots of advantages in the circumstances in which they lived.

it's a cold take, social species have always had specialization and labor sorting mechanisms, i just have calmed down a lot in my own brain by internalizing the idea that yeah maybe its harder for me to tolerate going to school than a child without autism, but im better at other stuff than they are, and when we're all in the Human Troop together we are both very useful to each other. which is cool.

you dont even have to do anything to bring value to your family, you can just be there. in general, humans have always taken care of our sick and injured and disabled. anyone who has ever been happy to see someone knows why. i mean we kill each other a lot too but that's also just part of being an animal on planet earth. im just thinking out loud idk.

[just7frogsinapeoplesuit]

Finished reading Harrow the Ninth last week! It was a lot smoother than the previous book, and another fun read. Thoughts (spoiler free):

- This may be the only book I've ever read where 2nd person narration didn't make me want to pull my hair out, because it's the only time I've seen it done for a clear reason! The narration switching between chapters helps set a discordant tone and creates mystery in a unique way, and the bit where it switches to first person for just a few words 3/4 of the way through the book hits like a truck.

- Continuing to love how puzzley this series is. Piecing together stories from scraps is soo fun and satisfying. The pacing at which we receive information is (again) perfect and (again) we never get the entire picture so there's always something extra during a reveal.

- I felt this in Gideon but it's more relevant now: 10,000 years is way too long a timescale for the setting and characters, and the absurdity of it makes it feel less real. It should be 1,000 years maximum given how little it seems humanity has evolved since the resurrection, and nearly every length of time stated by a lyctor should be about 1/10 of what it is. The single reason I would accept for it really being 10k years is if it's a setup for an "over 9000" joke which, to be fair, is extremely plausible.

- Every new character has a name that's 3 syllables or less! I could actually remember who everyone was!

- It's even clearer in this book how unique and complex the characters' relationships are. I don't often encounter series where I genuinely couldn't give a concise answer for how anyone feels about anyone else. I'm so glad there's more.

- The one alien planet with substantial life we encounter is almost exactly like earth, down to Harrow assuming there are mammals and annelids. Unless these planets were purposely set up with Earth flora/fauna (despite being supposedly almost inaccessible) this feels like a cop-out to not have to make up alien biology and frankly it was disappointing. Really hoping this was done for a reason.

- Having a narrator we know is unreliable adds so much depth to the mystery of the story, especially the 3rd person segments. I said this before but I really wish more people wrote from the perspective of deeply flawed or ignorant characters.

- The visuals are detailed and often stunning, but sometimes they're just redundant. We do not need to be reminded what the lyctor robes look like every time someone is wearing one, I am going to assume they are still the same two pages later. The constant focus on the color of people's eyes could be considered an exception since it's a very plot-relevant detail, but even that was a little much at times.

- The lyctors and God read like an office drama where everyone involved is an objectively shitty person and I enjoyed every moment of it.

- I thought I was prepared to encounter none pizza with left beef. I was not prepared to encounter none pizza with left beef.

- The prose has been smoothed out a lot. The voice feels consistent even across chapters (and even near the end!), and the number of unnecessarily long and/or obscure words is slightly less but still got irritating at times. Muir definitely has a handful of favorites she overuses, namely:

Tessellate: Fair for the setting but unnecessary when telling us the wallpaper has a pattern

Scintillating: We see synonyms for this maybe once, it's used every single time something sparkles or is shiny

Deliquesce: Again great for the setting, but again it is used every single time something is melty (and a few times metaphorically). She even uses it to describe a soggy biscuit once. I don't know how to express just how much biscuits cannot deliquesce without going on an unhinged rant about the mechanics of rot.

- There are also still instances of clear thesaurus overuse, such as fog being described as "lubricious". I am assuming this was because in context it's supposed to be contrasting cold weather and that's a listed antonym for "frigid" but explicitly in a metaphorical sense. Did Muir know she was telling us the fog was horny? I want to believe there was some hidden joke but I couldn't find one, and it's far from the only time a college-level vocab word is used instead of a simpler synonym in a context that just doesn't quite work (because it adds connotations that don't make sense).

- On the other end of vocab things, there are a few obscure words she uses only once that are so vividly relevant to the setting it's almost weird they never come back. "Flense", for example, is probably the most necromancy-friendly 19th century word imaginable and using it metaphorically is a brilliant choice, but Muir has given priority to other less grotesque (but higher in syllable count) 19th century words and it only appears a single time. Yes, my irritation is showing. Unnecessary syllables irritate me.

- None pizza with left beef aside, my personal favorite meme was the Miette reference, but "wake me up inside" was a close second.

- Overall, similar in enjoyment to Gideon but easier to read. Excited to start Nona when I get the chance!

(Gideon the Ninth review here)

[hollowsart]

Guy Gardner: Green Lantern!

Finally finished my redesign and ref sheet for this guy !!

I'm leaving the PL design cuz it slaps and also it's funny and I wanna make it canon that he got that ring at some point and had to deal with that for awhile. (he made it work. had fun)

he had an experience once with a red ring and he hated every minute of it. he's always running from it.

Anyways, he gives me cowboy and punk vibes.

miscellaneous info: (sorry if anything sounds repetitive)

--

Had a terrible upbringing, was not the favored child, often told he was a disgrace and compared often to his brother, really messed with his mental health and self perception.

Rebelled a lot in spite of his father. mother did nothing to help him, only one good point in high eyes is that at least she didn't hurt him. He doesn't have a great relationship with his family and has a bit of loathing towards his brother He has since become estranged from his family by choice.

Further rebellion lead to him living a more punk life, going against his father, a cop. He's living how he feels comfortable and free without the expectations from his family. Anything that would get a rise out of his dad? Oh, he's gonna do it. He's grown out of it, but sometimes the habits die hard Hard to give up, hard to move on.

Guy struggled to keep a job for years, finding and taking whatever he could. The last job he had before he was found by Abin Sur's ring was as a teacher for a local school. He was about to be fired and needed a new job anyway. He was happy to take it and escape his earth life for a little while. A further rebellion against his family, he'll claim, but really it was an escape from his miserable life at the time.

As a result of his constant search for a job, he's gained a lot of experience and knowledge with a wide array of things, such as swimming, coaching, cooking, mechanics, engineering, mending, dancing-- He's not a professional at any of these, he's quite rusty with some of them, but he's still very capable if these skills are ever needed.

With the ring, Guy finally found a job that he was good at, successful. It was one he didn't fumble catastrophically. He loves the GL corps and will do whatever he can to keep it, it's a place he feels accepted and liked. even if his personality and attitude may be a little hard to digest and tolerate for some. He's very passionate and cares a lot despite how stubborn and brash he may act.

The GL corps is really all Guy has. He puts a lot of his devotion into it. it's the only consistently positive things in his life. It's the one thing he would never run from. He would honestly defend the corps with his life, taking the oath to heart. His word is his bond and he values it.

Often gets into fights, is usually the one who starts it whether he intended to or not. He does finish them, at least.... well. If possible, he tries to. Albeit.. not in the best of ways. He still has a lot to learn.

Guy overcompensates his fears and worries, his anxieties with an overconfident and boastful, loud and abrasive attitude. His more vulnerable side is one that less than 5 people have ever seen and know of. He'd rather people see him as a dirtbag than as any less than a man. His dad instilled a lot of negativity towards himself from a young age. Feeling inferior. Anything goes wrong? Guy is bottling that up and taking it out on training dummies and letting it out in his room with a drink or two.

[evermorethecrow]

asking really nicely so you can properly explain? please? pretty please? with a cherry on top? 🛐

SIGHHHHHHHH

fine because you were nice

Every evermore au summarised PROPERLY

1) Yuuko au-

Chuuya gets a kid at 14 and has to deal with it

2) Cryptid au-

Chuuya nakahara died in 1935, came back and is now murderous and evil (and a giant ram sometimes)

3) High school au-

Chuuya nakahara is a 15 year old who wants to be completely erased from memory when he dies, simultaneously he wants to fight with everything to keep living (it doesnt work)

4) Vampire au-

Chuuya was born (wrong) into an aristocratic heavily established vampire family with a lot of not so great traditions. after escaping from them the third time he looses it a little bit and decides to now dedicate his life to murdering them all off, as well as anyone who gets in the way. hes aproached by mori ougai the head of a powerful vampire slaying organisation and joins to help his plans. i also gave him a gun

5) God au-

born as the god of luck and fortune chuuya is stolen by humans and placed in a shrine to bring insane luck to the earth. then shit hits the fan. Now hes stuck as the god of curses (and bad luck) and cant walk around without hell breaking loose

6) Plant shop au-

Chuuya nakahara ends up at a police station at 14 and meets murase (as well as some other cops). Chuuya is going to be given a death sentence but after some less than legal talk with his supervisors murase can remove it completely. the only condition is rehabilitating chuuya back into society, which proves a harder task than thought considering a few extra issues that went down in his past.

7) College(idol) au-

At 15 chuuya nakahara is the lead of a world famous pop idol group. Shifty treatment from his manager makes chuuya decide to quit, however on while preforming his last show something technical goes wrong, the stage explodes, the other members got away safe but chuuya was hospitalised. the world assumes him dead and since he contract is over he decides to keep it that way, content with living his life like a normal person now. until hes in collage and it turns out his new roomate was the biggest fan of him and his old group. chaos ensues

8) Sky casino chuuya au-

After hardly a year in the sheep chuuya is found by fyodor and placed inside the sky casino for safe keeping. now at 16 hes very good at his job and very bad at being tollerant of annoying house guests from the port mafia

9) DOA au-

15 goes wrong, chuuya gets hit a lot harder by the sheep and he ends up at fyodors doorstep (through less than natural circumstances). hes been working for the doa since. Dazai and him re-meet at 22 after hes captured by the port mafia. it goes intrestingly.

10) Scene kid au- a fun au where everyone in the show wears some kind of alt fashion (also theres like the worlds impending and quickeningly near end looming over everyone but that doesnt matter)

11) God+Vampire slayer au-

Chuuya is the (born human) reincarnatation of the god/lord of the wild in an era where vampire-like zombies run wild. he meets a boy who turned into a vampire but somehow remained concious and is now working with him and a shifty doctor to blast gore everywhere try and find a cure

12) Ability swap au

Chuuya has no longer human instead of Tainted but keeps his singularity, dazai has flawless but keeps being anything but. They have eachother. (that could be enough)

13) No Yuuko au-

Yuuko (that kid who chuuya got) never actually MEETS chuuya and instead through a long path of events ends up in the custody of a 20 year old dazai. what could possibly go wrong

14) college au 2 eletric boogaloo-

Chuuya nakahara grows up strict catholic and ends up a single parent in some lousey apartment trying to ballence class and like not killing his child. also his roomate is an annoying bastard who wont shut up

15) Nun Au-

Chuuya's raised in a cult and then joins the mafia.

16) Pokemon au Red-

All the bsd charecters live in the world of pokemon. chuuyas a gym leader and secretly a team rocket executive following his bosses order to prevent some kid finding mew

17) Pokemon au Blue-

Pokemon exist in the bsd verse! Canon except they all have pokemon to fight with and chuuya may or may not be spiritually connected to a lucario

18) Demon ability au-

Instead of tainted sorrow chuuya has an ability reminiscent of kouyou and kyoukas. (hes still got that singularity unfortunatly but this time its in a huge fucking demon?) his role in the pm changes acordingly

19) Mermaid au- chuuya's a mermaid happily enjoying life on land. Dazai is a mermaid hellbent on dragging chuuya back to the ocean

20) Circus au-

when chuuya joins the port mafia hes placed under lippmanns command instead of kouyou's. unfortunatly its not that easy and the port mafia's fronting as a circus. now chuuyas got to learn how to use rope.

21) Elise au-

On his deathbed mori manages to transfer his ability to chuuya. hes now living through elise. it goes as well as you'd expect now the mafias being run by an 11 year old

22) Chuuya stays with the sheep au-

self explanitory, dazai's plan fails and chuuya never ends up leaving the sheep. then 15 rolls around and verlaine disposes of them. chuuya travels around with verlaine until hes eventually rescued by the flags

23) Ada au-

chuuya moves to the ada after stormbringer. he works with yosano in the infirmary.

24) Demon/Coffee shop au-

Ex-fighting ring demon chuuya runs a coffee shop and tries to be evil (hes bad at it)

25) Chuuya is inside my laptop au-

Dazai finds a beat up laptop on the floor one day and being the cheap person he is decides to take it. the only issue is theres someone (something?) living inside it (its chuuya)

26) Dragon au-

Chuuya nakahara is one of the last dragons of his kind. dazai wants a pet dog but gets something more exotic instead

27) Nyan bungou stray nekos au- nyan neko sugar girls but bsd derailed and i dont know how to explain this now

29) Botw au-

chuuya's a gerudo who isnt that good at fitting in, dazai's a zora next in line for the throne whos bad at everything. together they make a wildfire look like a beach holiday

Honarable mentions

Danganrompa au (Only existed so i could execute chuuya)

Vocaloid/Utauloid au (canon except they have vocasynth voices)

Evermore's chuuyai farm and factory

[walker-extended-universe]

John's Boys, Chapter 1

Relationship(s): Bonham Walker & John Winchester, Abeline Walker/Bonham Walker, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester

Tags/Warnings: Abandonment, Angst, Heavy Angst, Family Dynamics, Crossover, Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence

Summary:

After John learns the truth of what happened in the nursery that night, he can't just sit by while a monster like that roams the earth. But, he knows he can't drag his boys on a cross-country revenge trip with him. So, he calls on an old friend for a small favor. Bonham knew from the start that this wouldn't be a temporary thing. Too often, he's seen his old army friends that "just need some time" go off the deep end and never return. But he also knows that someone needs to look after John's boys if the worst happens. So he agrees to a small favor.

Written for @angstober Day 21: Abandoned

A/N: Yes this is another Walker/Supernatural crossover that has both too much and not enough thought behind it why do you ask :)))))))

Taglist: @theladywyn, @ihavepointysticks, @klaatu51, @itsjessiegirl1, @neptunium134

--------------------------

If there was one thing Bonham had learned from his time in the Marines, it was that nine times out of ten, if you got a call from an Old Army Buddy, it was usually a bad sign.

The only thing that was worse: they showed up at your front door without calling first.

When he saw John Winchester’s impala in the drive leading up to the main house, Bonham told Abby not to worry about it and that he’d handle it. It’s not that he thought John was a bad person; far from it. The man had saved his bacon more than a few times overseas. But showing up like this, out of the blue, without so much as a letter between them in years, could only mean something bad was coming.

He’d heard things through the grapevine about other members of their troop. Men disappearing to their old friends’ apartments without a note to their wives. Men leaving suicide notes in voicemails that their families wouldn’t hear until months later. Men just disappearing and relying on their friends to keep the secret.

When Bonham saw the carseats in the back of the car, his stomach dropped. This couldn’t be anything good.

“She’s dead, Bonham.” John told him. “She’s dead. The house is gone. And I can’t- I can’t just sit here when the bastard that killed her is still out there.”

“I know.” He didn’t imagine he'd be thinking differently if Abby had been taken from him like that. “But you’ve got two boys to look after. You need to think about them.”

“I’m trying to think about them,” John insisted. “I can’t- I can’t let them live in a world with that monster in it.”

“I know, John. But you gotta let the cops do their jobs. That’s what we pay taxes for. Just- You can stay here if you need a place but-”

“But I gotta get back on my feet?” John chuckled darkly. “I can’t, Bon. I-I can’t. The things I’ve seen, the things I know…. I can’t just let it go, I can’t. But…..” he sighed. “But I know I can’t bring the boys down with me.”

“John-”

“You don’t have to say yes. I’ve got other people I can ask-”

“John, you need help.”

“Why the hell do you think I’m here?!” John snapped. “I need- I need them to be safe. But I need to handle this myself and I can’t- I can’t take them with me. They don’t deserve to get pulled into this mess.”

“They don’t deserve their father to abandon them either.”

“I’m not abandoning them!” John started pacing. “I just- I need time. I know what I’m doing, I just need time. A year, maybe less. Hopefully less.”

Bonham let him get the energy out.

He shouldn’t agree to this. John needed help, not a revenge mission. Maybe he should agree on the condition John went to a therapist instead of a gun shop.

But John wouldn’t agree with it. And that wasn’t the only person he had to talk to, and he knew what Abby would say.

“Let me run it by my wife,” he said eventually. “Why don’t you bring the boys inside and we can talk?”

John’s shoulders relaxed. “Alright. Just give me a minute.”

—-----------

“Are we really thinking about this?” Abby asked him quietly. They’d retreated to the kitchen to talk while John watched his boys in the living room.

“I don’t agree with it either, Abby, but I don’t know what he’ll do if we don’t. Those boys need a home and if John won’t give it to them….”

Abby sighed. “I know, Bon, but we just had a boy ourselves in case you forgot and this hasn’t exactly been our best year….” She nervously twisted a dish towel in her hand and needlessly cleaned the counter. “How long did he say? A year?”

“He’s gonna aim for less than that but yes. But Abby….” He put a hand on her shoulder. “We have to be ready for it to be longer than that.”

She sighed and leaned into him. “I want to say yes. You know that.”

“I know.” Bonham kissed the top of his head. “If you think we can handle it, I can go buy another crib today.”

She tilted her head up for a kiss. “...Tell him we can do it. For one year. After that, he’s on his own.”

Bonham kissed her softly. “Alright. Make me a list of things we need for them and we can be set up in time for dinner.”

Abby hummed. “Find out what Dean’s favorite is and see if John will join us, would you?”

“Of course.”

—----------------

“But why do we have to stay here? Why can’t I go with you? I can help!”

John stared at his oldest son. How was he supposed to explain this to someone who wasn’t even old enough for kindergarten yet? “Dean…. This is something I have to do alone. And I need you to look after Sammy until I’m done.”

Dean swallowed hard and nodded tearfully. “O-Okay. When’re you gonna be done?”

John didn’t have an answer, so he made up one. “I’ll be back in time for your next birthday, okay? Be good for Bonham and Abby and look after Sammy for me, okay?”

Dean nodded and rubbed his eyes. “Okay. I-I can do that.” He bit his lip, then threw himself at John’s leg in a hug. “Come back soon, okay?”

“I will,” John lied. “Be good, okay?”

Dean nodded furiously, still not letting go of him. “I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you too, Dean. I love you too.”

John hugged him one last time, then got back in his car and drove away, leaving his sons in the rearview mirror.

He just needed to kill this demon. Once the demon was dead, they could be a safe, happy family again.

He wasn’t abandoning them, he just needed time.