#there is no 'our' anything bc you never pay for shit and you never help me clean shit so no

[angerofangels]

Conversation I have with my roommate almost every day

Them: "hey you have something I want but dont have or cant afford. Can I have it? "

Me: "Um ok but Ill let you use it to be nice but it should be on my terms bc its my thing." Or "No I really dont want to just give you my things especially because I've been unemployed for a month and am living off my savings"

Them: "Ok whatever nevermind then >:(. If its not gonna happen exactly how I want it to I'm gonna pout about it."

[itneverendshere]

Bartender reader :) reader and Rafe get in a fight and it’s a big one (while they are living together) and reader needs some space and decides to sleep on the couch/guest bedroom but Rafe completely forgets about the fight once he realizes what she’s doing and puts his foot down “you can be mad but you’re still sleeping in this bed” kinda deal?

i feel like their fights never last bc they can't be away from each other that long and bc they're just too disgustingly in love🙂‍↔️ thank you for the request!🤎

i would never do you wrong- r.c

pairing: rafe x pogue!reader (bartender!reader universe) warnings: a little angst at first, but happy ending obviously.

You were sitting on the edge of the bed, your hands gripping your phone a little too tight. The conversation you had been having for the past hour felt like running headfirst into a brick wall—no, arguing with a brick wall.

“I don’t see why this is such a big deal,” Rafe groaned, like a toddler, running a hand through his messy hair. “You’ve been working nonstop. You deserve a break.”

“A break?” You scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. “Baby, I just got promoted. I can’t take time off like that.”

“You’re acting like this job will disappear if you take a week off. I’ve already planned the trip, I’ve already talked to Ward. You don’t even have to worry about money—”

“That’s not the point!” You cut him off, standing now, your body vibrating with frustration. “You don’t get it! This promotion means everything to me. I worked my ass off for it. And now you’re telling me to throw that away for a vacation?

“I’m not telling you to throw anything away, baby. God, you make it sound like I’m asking you to quit.” Rafe crossed his arms, his brow furrowed, and looked at you like you were the unreasonable one, like you'd just insulted him. “It’s just one week. We can afford to relax.”

“Yeah and what about the wedding? If we’re gonna pay for it, we gotta save up.”

He let out an incredulous laugh, his head shaking like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You do remember I’m rich, right?”

You blinked, stunned. “Seriously? That’s your solution? Just throw money at it?”

He sighed, rubbing his temples. “That’s not what I meant.��I can pay for the wedding,” he interrupted, stopping in his tracks. “You’re forgetting I have more than enough money to take care of both of us.”

You closed your eyes for a second, breathing deeply. “I don’t want you to pay for it all.” You were pacing now, “It sounds like you think we can just forget about budgeting and responsibilities because you’ve got a trust fund.”

Rafe threw his hands up, exasperated. “I’m just saying we can afford to take some time for ourselves. You don’t need to stress over every little thing.”

You stopped in your tracks, turning sharply to face him. “I’m not ‘stressing over every little thing,’ Rafe. I’m being realistic. We have a wedding to plan. We’ve got bills. I’ve got my career to think about. And no, I don’t want your dad’s money involved in any of that.”

“We have an entire year to save up,” He stared at you, a steely glint in his eyes. “So what? You’re just gonna run yourself into the ground? Burn out completely?” 

Your jaw clenched as you swallowed the lump in your throat. “I’m doing what I need to do. I’ve always done that.”

“And I’ve always been here to help you. But it’s like you don’t even want it.”

“That’s not what this is about,” you argued, stepping closer to him now. “I don’t want to be dependent on that money. I don’t want us to start our marriage with me feeling like I’m just along for the ride.”

Rafe’s face hardened, his lips pressing into a thin, flat line. “So what? You think I’m trying to make you feel small? Like you can’t handle your shit?”

“No. I just want to build something with you. With you, Rafe, not because of Ward’s money.”

He looked away as he pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, the muscle moving under his skin as he swallowed whatever hot-headed thing you knew he felt like saying. Then, with a frustrated exhale, he said, “It’s not like I wanted to rely on him either. But I’m trying to make things easier for us.”

“And I appreciate that, I do.” You sighed, taking a breath. “But this promotion... it’s my chance to prove myself. I want to know that I earned everything we have. Not that it came from someone else’s checkbook.”

Rafe’s eyes moved to yours, and you could see the tension still there. He slowly let out a long breath. The air hissed softly between his teeth as his chest fell, shoulders sagging “You’re so fucking stubborn.”

“I learned from the best,” you shot back, crossing your arms.

He let out a bitter chuckle, it didn’t hold any joy. “I’m not trying to control everything. I just want to make sure we have time for us before everything else gets in the way.”

You nodded, “I know. But you can’t just expect me to drop everything and go on vacation because you’ve already decided it.”

“I thought you’d want to spend time with me,” he argued, “I’m trying to make time for us, and you’re treating it like it’s a problem.”

You sighed for what it felt like the millionth time that night, rubbing your temples. “It’s not that, baby. I want to be with you. You know that. But I can’t ignore everything else that’s going on.”

He was silent for a moment, his eyes scanning your face like he was trying to find the right thing to say. Finally, he muttered, “Fine. If you don’t want to take the time off, then don’t.”

You blinked at him, taken aback. “That’s not what I meant.”

“You’re making it seem like I’m asking for something ridiculous.”

You scoffed, frustration taking over again.

“Because to me, it is ridiculous! You don’t get it. You don’t have to think about whether you can afford to take time off, but I do. You’ve never had to think about that stuff.”

His face tightened, jaw clenching as he stared at you like he was trying to stay calm. “And that’s why I’m telling you, you don’t have to worry about it. I’ve got us covered. You’re acting like I’m trying to sabotage your career.”

“You’re not listening to me! This promotion isn’t just a paycheck, it’s everything I’ve worked for. I’ve spent years proving I’m good enough, and now you’re asking me to step back like it’s no big deal.”

Rafe crossed his arms, his posture stiff, defensive. “I’m asking for one week. One. Fucking. Week. You act like the world’s gonna end if you take some time for yourself.”

“Because for me, it doesn’t stop! You don’t understand what it’s like—”

He cut you off again, you hated when he did it. “Don’t. Don’t stand there and tell me I don’t understand. You think I don’t get what it’s like to have shit on the line? I’ve been under pressure my whole life.”

You flinched at his words, your eyes narrowing. “This is different. I’ve always had to make sure I could take care of myself.”

His laugh was bitter, almost sarcastic. “Is that what you think this is? You’re my fiancé.”

You frowned, feeling the hurt in his words, but you couldn’t let it go. “I just don’t want to feel like I’m in your shadow, like I’m always gonna be ‘Rafe’s wife’ instead of my own person.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” He ran a hand through his hair, pacing now. “It’s not like that. You know it’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like?” you snapped, the words spilling out before you could stop them. “Because every time we talk about this, you make it sound like money is the solution to everything. Like we can just throw cash at our problems and they’ll disappear.”

He stopped pacing, turning to face you, his expression darkening. “Because it fucking helps, okay?”

You pinched your eyes closed, “I’m just trying to make sure I don’t lose myself in all of this.”

He let out a harsh breath, his shoulders tense. “Lose yourself? You think I’m trying to take that from you?”

“No,” you whispered, wiping at your eyes. “But it feels like you don’t get why this is so important to me.”

“Are you serious right now?” he cut you off. “You know what, do whatever you want. I’ll just cancel the trip.”

“Rafe—”

“Forget it,” he said, already turning away, heading for the door. “Goodnight.”

He didn't even slam the door.

You sat down on the bed, your head in your hands, trying to calm down. You glance at your phone, thinking about texting him, apologizing maybe. But you weren’t ready for that yet. You needed space. You needed to breathe. You needed to get out of your own head, even just for a little while. You couldn’t stand being in the same room after that argument.

Without thinking much more about it, you grabbed your pillow and the spare blanket from the closet, making your way toward the living bedroom. The couch in there wasn’t as comfortable or as big, but it would give you the distance you needed for the time being. You were pulling back the covers when you heard your bedroom door creak open. You didn’t have to turn around to know it was him. 

He couldn't stay away longer than five minutes.

“Really?” His voice was low, almost disbelieving. “You’re gonna sleep in here?”

You stayed facing the bed, not turning to look at him. “I can’t do this right now.”

There was a pause, and then you heard him step closer. “No. That’s not how we’re doing this.”

You frowned, glancing back at him over your shoulder. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you can be pissed at me. You can need space, fine. But you’re not sleeping in here.” His voice was firm, and when you finally turned to look at him, his blue eyes were locked on yours, unwavering.

“Rafe—”

“I’m serious, baby." He moved closer, gently pulling the blanket from your hands. “You’re mad. I get it. But you’re still sleeping in our bed.”

You shook your head, trying to push the blanket back toward him. “I just—”

“No.” His voice softened, but he was still insistent. “I’m not letting you run away from me. We’ll deal with it. But we’re not doing this. You’re not sleeping alone.”

You looked at him and saw the same tiredness, the same frustration, in his face. He held your gaze for a moment longer before reaching out, and taking your hand in his.

“Come on. You belong in our bed.”

There was no fight left in you as you let him pull you back down the hall, back into the warmth of your shared space. As you settled beside him, Rafe reached over, his hand finding yours under the blankets, he traced small, absent patterns on the back of your hand, like you weren’t fighting just ten minutes ago.

He sighed, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “You don’t have to prove anything to me. I already know you’re capable of handling anything.”

“It’s not about proving it to you,” you admitted, “It’s about proving it to myself. I need to know that no matter what happens—good or bad—I’ve earned it. That I deserve it.”

Rafe was quiet for a couple seconds, his eyes stuck on the ceiling. Then, his grip on your hand tightened slightly,  “I hate this,” he muttered finally.

You turned your head to look at him, “Hate what?”

“This.” He gestured between the two of you with his free hand. “Fighting like this. Making you feel like I’m pulling you in two different directions. Like you have to choose.”

You blinked, caught off guard. “You’re not making me choose. I just, I want to build something for myself.”

He let out a sharp breath, shaking his head.

“You think I don’t get that? You think I’m just some spoiled asshole who’s never had to work for anything?” He rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow to look at you more directly. “But I do get it. That’s why I’m trying so hard to be what you need me to be.”

Your heart twisted at the look on his face. He reached up, brushing a stray lock of hair away from your face.

“Every time I look at you,” he murmured, his gaze softening, “I see everything you’ve done to get here. Everything you’ve pushed through. And it kills me, because I feel like I’ve just been dead weight. You spent months holding me together when I was falling apart. I could barely get out of bed some days baby, and you were there, making sure I was eating, making sure I was taking my meds, making sure I didn’t—I know how much you gave up for me.”

“Baby, stop,” you mumbled, the hurt in your chest almost unbearable. It hadn't been easy, but you didn't regret a single thing, wouldn't change anything. You'd do it all over again if you had to.

“No.” His voice was firm, “I hate that I put you through that. That I made you carry all that weight when you should’ve been focusing on yourself, your career. Hell, I wasn’t even there for you when you got promoted, because I was too busy trying to keep my shit together. And now I want to make up for that.”

You reached up, cupping his cheek, feeling the way his jaw unclenched under your touch. “You don’t have to make up for anything. You were going through something, and I wanted to be there for you.”

“I know you did,” he said softly, “But that’s why I’m doing this. I’m trying to be the guy you deserve—the guy who makes things easier for you, who makes you feel like you can breathe again.” He shook his head, teasing just a little, “But every time I try, it feels like I’m just reminding you of all the ways I’ve let you down.”

You blinked back the sudden tears. “You haven’t let me down. I need to find a balance. Between us and—” You gestured vaguely around you, trying to explain everything you were feeling. “And everything else.”

“I get that,” he murmured, leaning in closer until his forehead rested against yours. “But I also need you to let me in. Let me help you. Not because I want to throw money at it, but because I love you, and I want to see you happy. Not burnt out and exhausted.”

His voice broke a little on the last word, and you felt your initial stubbornness crumbling. “I know,” You squeezed your eyes shut, “I know. I just don’t want to lose everything I’ve been working for. I don’t want to get so wrapped up in us that I forget who I am outside of this.”

Rafe let out a shaky breath, his fingers brushing along your jaw.

“You’re not going to lose yourself, okay? Not with me. You’re always going to be you. Even when you’re stressed and stubborn and driving me up the wall.” His lips quirked in a small, sad smile. “I’ll still be here. I just want to have a little time with you before life pulls us in a million directions again.”

You leaned into him, pressing your face against his chest, breathing in the familiar scent of him. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close, his chin resting on top of your head. It wasn’t that you didn’t want his help. You just needed to do this one thing for youself. You moved closer to him, resting your head against his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered earnestly, “I didn’t mean to make it sound like I don’t want to spend time with you. I do. It’s just hard to balance everything.”

You didn’t want to fight anymore. You wanted to figure it out. You wanted to compromise, because that's what you two always did.

“I’ll take the time off,” You felt him move beside you, his eyes on you now, curious but cautious. “But… I need a little time. Can we plan the trip for a couple of months from now? Once things settle down with work?”

He pulled back just enough to look down at you, his eyes searching your face. “You’d do that?”

You nodded, lifting your head. “I know I’ve been all over the place about this, but I get that we need time together. I just can’t drop everything right now. But in two months, I’ll be ready. We can go wherever you want.”

A slow smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He shifted onto his side, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “You mean it?”

“I mean it,” you said, smiling back at him. “We’ll go. No work emails, no distractions. Just us.”

He let out a breath he’d been holding, his fingers tracing along your jaw. “Two months, huh?”

You looked up at him, rolling your eyes lightly. “Yes, two months. And I’m going to hold that ‘no work emails’ rule, for you too.”

He chuckled, his lips curving into a genuine smile this time. “I figured.”

You swat at his chest lightly. “I’m serious. I want this trip to be for us. I need it to be something that we’re both looking forward to—not just you dragging me away because you think I’m overworking.”

“I know. I promise when we do go, it’ll be perfect. Wherever you want. No distractions.”

“Good,” you whispered, resting your head back on his shoulder. You listened to the rhythm of his heartbeat, feeling the rise and fall of his chest. This was the peace after the storm, the moment when everything felt like it was falling into place again.

Rafe’s hand gently traced patterns on your arm, and he pressed a soft kiss to your head, “I’m proud of you. For everything. The promotion, the way you’ve been handling all of this. I’m proud to call you mine.”

Your heart squeezed at his words, and you tilted your head up to meet his gaze. “Thank you, baby,” you murmured. “That means more to me than you know.”

He smiled, “Just don’t ever think you have to choose between me and your dreams, okay? I want you to have it all. I want us to have it all.”

You nodded, the last of your resistance melting away. “I know. And I want us to have it all, too. Together.”

His arms tightened around you, pulling you closer, “Good,” he murmured, his breath warm against your hair. “’Cause I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”

[naturesapphic]

hey can u do a alcina x reader fic where she neglects the reader bc she’s too busy working but with a happy ending?

Ignored

Alcina dimitrescu x fem!reader

Warnings: angst with happy ending, neglectful alcina, cussing, hurt/comfort fic

Alcina has been in her study all this week and hasn’t been paying me any attention. The only kind of attention that I get is when it’s bedtime and we get into our bed together and she kisses me goodnight. That is all she does. I’m getting touch and attention starved over here and it seems like she doesn’t shove two shits.

I know this week she’s been working a lot on her wine business and has been getting stressed about it but I wish she would just take a break and I could help or take care of her. I hate seeing her so worried and stressed and I can’t do anything to help.

I went into our shared room/her office and noticed her still working. I sighed and walked over to her to see if she’s almost done so we can go to bed together. You lightly tapped her on her arm and she huffed in annoyance as she looked down at you. “What do you want?” She harshly said to you. “Cant you see that I am working?” She added. You sighed again which caused her to Scoff. “I just wanted to see if you can go to bed with me alci. I miss you and we haven’t been in the same bed in a while. Even if you do go, you never cuddle me or kiss me goodnight anymore.” You said sadly.

Alci groaned and slammed her hands on her table. “You are so pathetic! Always clinging to me and asking for attention when I’m trying to fucking work! Leave me alone you attention seeking whore!” She yelled at you which made your heart break in two. You didn’t hear the rest as you fled out the door and to the quest room a floor down.

Alci didn’t process what happened until a few minutes later and she felt awful. She put her head in her hands and cried softly, knowing she broke you, knowing this, she’s broken too.

She didn’t want to wait to come after you but she knew that both of y’all needed to wait until morning to give each other some space.

~ the next morning ~

You cried yourself to sleep that night and didn’t get much of it either. Your head was replaying what alci said to you over and over. Maybe she was right. Maybe you are too clingy and a attention seeking whore. You whimpered again as the memories keep flooding back in. You heard the door creak open and it revealed your lover looking awful. Which was very unlike alci since she always makes sure that she looks her very best at all times.

She came over to you and bent down to your level and started sobbing and spilling out apology after apology. You looked at her sadly even though she hurt your tremendously, you still hated to see her so upset. “I-I’m so s-sorry d-draga. I-I was so s-stressed and t-tired that I took I-it o-out on y-you and that wasn’t r-right of m-me a-and I-I’m so so sorry darling!” She sobbed into the sheets of the bed.

You gently petted the top of her head and leant down to kiss it. “I understand that you were stressed and tired but that’s not an excuse for what you did to me…that really really hurt me alci…”. You said sadly. She looked up at you with her makeup smeared and ruined. “No no it’s not an excuse at all and I’ll do anything to make it up to you baby. I promise.” She said gently as she took your small hands into her big ones.

You knew she never meant what she had said and never will. She just needs to work on how she reacts to when she’s sad and angry because it always ends up with someone getting hurt and that not fair. She understood this and agreed to getting help, not just for her but for this relationship that she has with you as well because you are her draga and she will always love you.

A/n: two posts in one day?! A miracle lmao but I hope y’all enjoyed! Remember to stay hydrated and rest! I love you all.

[kirarifutari]

enhypen as fast food workers (enhypen ot7.)

GENRE .. !? enhypen ot7 headcanons i guess... pureee crack, comedy

WARNINGS .. !? not proof read, swearing, for shits and giggles don't take anything to heart lol

WC ..?! approx 852

NOTES.. ?! okay pls blame @dazed-hee for putting this thought into my head and helping me w this... i cannot believe i sat my ass down and wrote this,, yes i just got off work ... anyway i hope u enjoy this goofy little piece pls like + reblog to support!!

heeseung

actually does his job properly LOLLL

he's so good at it asw he is never ever stressed 😭😭 he never complains either he just gets shit done ?? like you'll be on shift w him and magically you don't have to do anything ever bc somehow he has it under control…?

all the customers love him asw LMAO he's the type to remember regulars 🙏

god sent everyone needs a heeseung to work with, he's even nice to the rude customers but is not afraid to be a little passive aggressive bitch 🤧

he never talks badly about anyone so no one ever shit talks him?? but if you ask him ab drama he'd be like “not naming any names but…” 😭

jay

he is exactly like heeseung except when is jay ever NOT stressed

he is internally crying every five seconds over something and every time a customer complains about something you can see the light in his eyes die little by little 💀💀

he doesn't even care what anyone else is doing he's just so caught up in doing his job he doesn't realise that he's doing everything himself…  more utc!

if you catch him on a good day tho you can hear him make fun of customer orders 😭 “who the fuck orders 3 hamburgers past the age of three years old…”

let's you do whatever you want bc hes too busy dealing w the emerging grey hairs 🙏

jake

the best person to work your shift w for a good time hands downnn

he's so funny he will make you cackle every five seconds,, you'll be taking a drive thru order and you'd be trying so fucking hard not to laugh into the mic 😭 he will fr start SINGING in ur ear goodbye

super friendly w customers and will literally start a conversation ab the most random things ?? “bro did you just order this family box?? you eating that yourself? that's crazy, mad respect” 💀

dawg does everything all at once, making burgers, taking orders, handing out food, changing the bins ??? yet somehow he's the one goofing off the most ? 

sunghoon

doesn't know how he landed the job tbh… everyone expected him to be unemployed the rest of his life 🔥

HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO COUNT CHANGE W CASH 😭 bro tries his hardest but is always fumbling around fr,, our maths legend

the type to be like “hm? i can't hear you” “what did you say? “yeah just gimme a minute” he is TOO CHILL he's so unserious ab this job he clocks on and does nothing half the time 🙏 he'll say he'll do what you ask him too but... you both know he won't xoxox

somehow he's still one of the managers favourites and gets good shifts every week… 

if a customer yells at him he'd be like “yeah give me a second” and then just gets someone else to deal with it LMFAO 💀

sunoo

THE BIGGEST SHIT TALKER having a shift w him is so good, he somehow knows everything that's going on w everyone ??? fills you in w all the gossip fr.

he's rly bubbly w all the nice customers and is one of the nicer employees to work with but if ur on his bad side … 💀💀💀

like if you annoy him as a customer he will hand you order wordlessly and look you up and down HE DOESNT CAREEE BROOO 😭

if anyone ever blames him for doing something wrong on shift he literally will just be like “that wasn't me tho 😄😄” biggest liar and everyone knows it but no one cares cus we all love him 🫶

sunoo will definitely be the type to buy you food on his break or give you free stuff when you clock off 😭

jungwon

would be the biggest gas lighter LMFAO

“oh you ordered a double big mac and not a regular? yeah on our register it's gone through as regular so i don't know what you want me to do, you can pay for another one tho!” 💀💀💀💀

bro gives so much sass to rude customers he does NOT gaf, he does it all w a smile on his face too like “sorry about that but we can't do anything to fix it 😊” 

he’d be so chill w his co workers asw, he would really care if everyone's messing around but somehow w him on shift everything goes oddly smoothly… 

working w him is so fucking funny cus he will never take no for an answer w a customer he will keep pushing until they LEAVE 😭

niki

LMFAOOO okay this kid fucking hates his job LOL

will spit in a customers drink because he can 🙏 he will not take shit from anyone and he knows no one will fire him bc they're understaffed 😚

plays the best music and always has kitchen speaker aux !!!

if you ask him to remake a burger or help you with something he'll either give you a blank stare or a “no, i won't.” and then do it for you anyway 👊👊 he is such a little menace but he doesn't care 

w annoying ass customers he will literally start arguing w them STOP

would go viral on tiktok cus some customer was filming him being rude but everyone would be siding w him bc niki is always in the right godbless.

[ma3mae]

Don't be so annoyed, love!

Summary: He's so annoying sometimes but it's ok because you love him 😭 (HC w/ Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo)

Genre: Crack, fluff, lowkey suggestive themes

Warnings: 🗿 we ignoring the red flags bc we can. also mentions of farting bc dazai 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿

A/N: u cant tell me that they wouldnt do any of these things ok 💀also kunikida's got a small drabble out of nowhere but im always wildin when it comes to him 😭😭😭😭😭

Dazai Osamu

u cant tell me that as soon as hes rly comfortable in ur relationship that he WOULD NOT be ashamed of just farting outta nowhere honestly 💀

Like yall r just chilling on the couch, watching smth and he just lets it all out bc why should he hold himself back 🗿

Hes at home 🗿

But bro's lucky he doesnt smell but 🗿🗿🗿🗿 wheres the warning from him

u give him the side eye and hes like "What? Are you perhaps ashamed of human nature, bella?" like ok we'll leave him alone but he ruined the emotional moment of the movie yall were watching 😭😭😭

Is also the type to prob leave his socks and clothes lying around

It got better over time but he still sometimes does it bc old habits die hard i guess 🧍

once got so bad you just collected all of his clothes and put them infront of the door so he'd have no choice but to pick all of that up and do it himself 💀

would try to talk his way out of it in the beginning but also felt kinda bad after the relationship got more and more serious

So now hes a good bf/ husband and does it himself 🤩 (with the occasional sock under the couch 💀)

drinking habits would take a bit longer to be fully gone, he'd learn to regulate it over time

He's learned to warn you tho when he thinks that a rly shitty day might hit him bc work and more

sometimes you take the day off and do something together to take his mind off of it

Sometimes you're at work and a "im home" text without hearts will come and you know whats wrong

would feel more comfortable over time letting you take care of him

will definitely show you his appreciation for you the next days in one way or the other 🤩💅

talking about living together, yall would often have to sit down to talk about his spendings bc our man cant save for ANYTHING

Used to often come home with little things like "Look, this reminded me of you!" and it's a plushie of a cat or something

Started off cute and small but got dramatic like him really fast

ngl he came home with a expensive necklace u liked when the both of u went shopping but u didnt buy it bc.. she expensive...

like he was charming as always with his "Tada! Guess what I've got you?~ 😋" ".... Not the necklace...? 😧" "🤩 How did you guess that right, bella??" "😨😨"

THIS man right here wouldnt even hesitate to just right out fking steal shit for you if u want it bc thats how much Power u got over him he'd never admit that tho sksks... OK maybe in bed...

he'd def either blackmail or bribe chuuya into helping him with stealing

probably even has access to his bank account and you'd only realize that when he'd stand infront of your door, asking where that "f*cking b*stard" is

you'd legit have to mediate their convo or else the whole building you live in would be gone immediately skks 💀

Chuuya likes u so he wouldnt make yall pay for it bc he knows that dazai's nearly broke 24/7 and u dont deserve to pay for his fault 💅

it would be enough to destroy his pride to make him obey chuuya for like 2 weeks or sum cue evil cackling from said red head

queen of Gaslightining nr. 1 😭 sometimes its for the dumbest arguments tho like why its okay to smack your lips while eating 😭

"I don't know it's just really noisy and kinda annoying for me?" "But Bella, that shows just how tasty your food is or are going to deny that fact and say that I should not show my appreciation for it? What if for me personally it's a sign of a good meal?" "Yeah but doesnt need to be that for me. Also you can show your appreciation for it in other ways like just simply saying its delicious?"

"But actions speak louder than words, my love." "YEAH, well then what do you want then???"

Its just a whole shit show and would (lmao it WILL) end in him giving you just shameless bedroom eyes and well you know whats gonna be after dinner lmaooo 🤡😭

Also also i do believe that hes not the best cook at first but hes a real fast learner so it prob would only take him a week of consuming cooking videos and reading books and BOOM

"Samu, is this a 3 course meal you're cooking because that's a LOT of ingredients in the kitchen." "Sssh just sit down, wash yourself up and enjoy the evening, my love! I'll call you when I'm done 💕"

Manages to somehow still give you some snacks and drinks in between the cooking 😭 with some sneaked in kisses on your shoulder or lips 😏

If you go and hug him from behind, he'll be MELTING

Like nuzzling your face into his back while wrapping your arms around his torso, you feel the slight rumble in his chest as he chuckles at your cute action 😭

"If you want to eat something then you should take a break from being so cute, you know? Don't want the food to go bad from maybe getting a bit distracted if you stay here for a bit longer." "Ew, are you implying you'd start something infront of our food??"

"... Well, I can just have a whole meal by myself but you'd be left hungry so it's your choice 😋"

🗿 the way he doesnt need long to be turned on is alwaya amazing to u but thats just how whipped he is and bro is a whole snack himself so WHOS complaining 😋💅

food's is guaranteed to taste heavenly but if he knows youve got time, then he'd make excuses to taste your cooking like

"Samu, it's been a while since I've gotten to taste your cooking." "Aww, was it that delicious for you? Hmm but I actually prefer your cooking!"

Time for some cooking and baking lessons together, eoow 💅 with the occasional make out session because the sauce found it's way on your lips and he just had to clean it up with his 😭😋

honestly despite all of some of the difficulties, dazai would never fail in making you feel loved in his own way even tho u gotta peel back some layers 🗿

At the end of the day, his bear hugs and many kisses are smth u love to come back home to after work

also doesnt say it but would def be a house husband for u 🤩 with the occasional "whoops gotta go and do smth quick" text and he comes home at like midnight skks bc the agency needs his cute ass 😋 but dw dinner's ready and house chores have been done so enjoy ur evening after work, zurlie 💅

dont kill me for this but id give him a 7.5/10 😭

Obsessed with him and i love him but it would prob be really really exhausting to get him to FULLY trust you and its honestly understandable

Also he kinda makes me feel like i'd have to walk on eggshells around him because you often dont really know what hes thinking 😭😭

could smile at u while thinking "why u so ugly" 😭😭

also bro is so smooth, its scary like he'd prob make us forget immediately that hes trying to find out everything about us(why he sounding like a stalker 😨😨 wouldnt want him to be MY stalker 😨😨 or would I?? 🤩) MY DELULU BRAIN 👹

Doppo Kunikida

😨 Cleaning maniac

personification of the verse "I can COOk, i can CLEAN" (i know its "dont" instead of can but we all know hes like perfect house husband material... maybe a bit too perfect 💀💀💀👹)

If u forgot a cup on the dinner table, he'd legit take the cup, put it in ur hand and be like "why did u leave it there if u r not using it"

WILL def rant about why u shouldnt do it

Honestly huge nagging mom vibes 💀💀

At the beginning of moving in together, he'd just clean everything without a word whatsoever

Like you wanna help around the house too? NUH UH, he already finished everything up.

Vaccuming the house? Done

Swiping? Lmao be sure to not arrive at home after work around that time bc u gotta stand at the door and WAIT until the floor is dried 💀😭

Dishes have been done like at 5 in the fucking morning 💀👹

Bro thankfully doesn't wash clothes that often (gotta be careful of the water bill 😭) but there r days where he legit throws his clothes nearly everyday bc the worse the mission the more blood yk 🗿🗿

U had to legit drag his ass to the couch to talk to him bc he gonn be deep clean the house if someone doesnt stop him

"Kuni, you literally don't need to do EVERYTHING by yourself! I'm also here to help and frankly, it feels like you're my maid sometimes 😞" " Don't worry. Everything fits perfectly in my time plan and since you sometimes work overtime, it's better if I do a bit more of it."

... "🗿 You are legit saving this city from being destroyed so often and I just sit in the office, bro 🤡" "I understand your argument but I have seen the way you look tired so often so let me take a bit of your burden"

He knows how to make us go "🥺"

The argument prob went on for an hour until yall settled on making a plan on who does what on which days and if someone's gotta work overtime or sum then the other takes a bit of it over and so on

So in the end its alrighty 🎉

Groceries and so on are never a problem except it sometiems turns out like going shopping with your mom because...

"Omg Kuni, look!!" *holds up cute decoration* "We could put this on our dinner table! Isn't it cute 🥺??"

Bro just takes it from you and looks at the price. Legit gives you the 🤨 look

"That's 937,32 Yen (around 6€) 🤨🤨. For a tiny statue of a dog? We could find it somewhere way cheaper." "🥺 But it's a limited edition and it reminds me of you bc its got the same fur color 🥺. It's even got ur glasses on 🥺"

Bro will say no but the day after you spot the dog on the table 🤡

Yall lying in bed together and cuddle so give him a peck on the lips while killing him with your cute ass smile (U MURDERER 🗿🗿)

"What was that for?" "Hmmm, well I just noticed that said statue magically appeared on our table. You think it was a cute long haired fairy with glasses and a grumpy look 😋? "

He tries really hard to deadpan at you but the corner of his lips still tug upwards as he pinches your nose

"Well, sometimes its not so bad to buy a little extra, I guess."

If theres a market nearby with some really good deals then you'd either be dragged together with him or he'd come home after work with tons of bags

Always surprises you in how good he is at negotiating about the price

Sometimes you gotta stop him from arguing with some of the shop keepers because some decided to sell some items way too overpriced 🗿🗿🗿

you once found him stay up all night researching about reasonable prices for veggies... 😨

and cue to yall standing in the morning infront of said shop keeper getting absolutely destroyed in an argument by your man.. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Well guess who even got some extra free stufd because kuni terrified the shit out of him 😋

"Thank you for your hard work in harvesting and selling us these delicious vegetables. My wife is quite a fan of them." Your husband said as he put the money into the shop keepers shaky hands, face red in embarassement as he squeezed out a "It's nothing." between his teeth. His face paled at the words "We'll see each other next Monday. Until then have a great week." leaving your man's mouth as he gave him a friendly smile before taking your hand and going to the next stall,only for you to sheepishly wave goodbye to the shop keeper before going with your husband.

"Well, you gave him quite the scare back there." You said as you felt him squeeze your hand a bit tighter, the bustling of the array of people only increasing by minutes. "Someone had to correct his ways. It would help his sales but only if he's willing to take that advice seriously." he simply answered as he looked at the contents of the bag, counting the ingredients left to purchase.

"Well atleast we got ourselves more than we needed so we can go home and call it a day." "Who are you?" Chuckling at your surprised face out of the corner of his eyes, he continued to make his way towards the end of the market, to finally reach your car.

"I thought over your words and I do believe it would be nice to" laze around together "for once in a while. Everything in the house has already been done, so maybe we could try out that one series you've been talking about. The reviews seem to be quite positive about it."

He just lets a breathy laugh escape his lips at your squeal while you begin to rant on why its gonna be so good watching it and

UUUUGGHHGH 😭😭😭😭 GIVE ME KUNIKIDAAAAAAAGHHHHHH 😭😭😭🤡🤡👹👹👹

honestly there are like no real red flags like his red flags are disguised green flags and yall can legit work through it easily

The only thing would be his tendency to overwork himself and it could lead to an argument but never a real fight because hes pretty easy to reason with

Like even when hes stubborn, he'll STILL listen to your words because the many good things about him that he'd always make sure to take your words seriously 🗿🗿

which sometimes makes it tempting to tease him bc we can lowkey understand why dazai easily tells him the most outrageous shit and your man just casually writes it down in his notebook 😭

"That damn idiot managed to fool me again by telling me that aliens have been among us (AMOGUS 👹) and that the goverment has been hiding it from us for decades." "I thought you already knew about that tho?"

"What" "What?"

"Wait so they're real?"

Cue to him showing him a video (that dazai sent to you a week ago just for this moment 😭)

Lmao dont tease him too much tho but dw, he cant stay mad at you at all lmao 😋💅

Honestly a 8.5/10 bc his nagging scares me 💀😭

Edogawa Ranpo

"Greatest Detective" more like "Queen of Gaslightining" 👹👹

Everyone knows hes way too obsessed with sweets but how the hell is his teeth actually still existing 🗿🗿

ngl i believe fukuzawa would prob sometimes just randomly ask him if he brushed his teeth bc he lowkey lowkey raised him ok 🤡

Ranpo is all nice like "yup, i did." but when u ask him, hes a whole b*tch about it

"Hah??? Why would you ask me that?? Do you really believe that I'd be so dumb to forget about brushing my teeth? If i can solve the most difficult cases then why would you assume that brushing my teeth might something that I'd forget, huuuhh??"

His gaslightining used to work at the beginning of ur relationship but sooner or later its not hard to notice his patterns 🗿

Like yas ok, he could just put up a whole ass strategy in how to not get u to notice that he didnt brush em at all but bro

Hes too lazy

And hes a sucker for attention 😩 like he might be "annoyed" if u nag at him bc of smth but he absolutely loves it bc its just one of his many ways to get ur attention without him having to actively get up and get it for himself 🤡🤡🤡🤡

Hes a huge clown but i love him 😭

Dazai tends to forget his socks or smth lying on the floor but THIS mf right here just doesnt rly care 😭

Like that was the first thing u noticed when u entered his apartment 🤡

Its not right out messy on a disgusting degree, its more like theres tons of trinkets n shit from cases or just random candy wrap hidden under the couch 💀💀💀

The epitome of "I can do it tomorrow" bc bro doesnt forget, he just IGNORES that he has to do it 😭

might take a while to actually get him to yk do smth around the house

used to prob only sleep and shower at his apartment and thats it💀

But when hes whipped then hes whipped and hed actually try his best to help around the house

Key word "try" 🤡

Like its often tbh accompanied by "okay, ill do it but only if i get smth"

A MANCHILD, I SAY 👹👹👹👹

But there are days when he legit deep cleans everything by himself bc either you had a bad day or yall had a fight 👹👹

still would whip out the "now gimme something, please 😋" if yall cuddle after a fight and he cleaned and tidied everything up for his love 🤩

doesnt always have to be candy yk HEUEHEUEHEUUE 👹👹👹👹👹

also its not a surprise but dont let him near the kitchen

HE COULD

HE RLY COULD COOK SO WELL

Like he had only cooked for ONE time and it was like a fever dream

Bc u legit had a fever and he cooked chicken soup but uhm 🗿

he cooked it so good??? Like veggies n meat cut and cooked up nicely?

Broth kicking in real hard?

Like? "What the hell? I thought you couldn't cook??"

Bro is about to put that spoon fr away 💀

"I'm not so heartless to let you starve and I definitely wont be giving you some cheap soup either. I just looked it up on the internet and followed the instructions so you gotta get well soon because I miss your cooking 🤩🤩"

Are we flattered?? Gurl, maybe but he'd def know if we tried to make ourselves be sick to taste his cooking again

Bro only offers to help when it comes to baking 😪😮‍💨😮‍💨

His only help is licking the dough or chocolate outta the bowl or smth 😀

would sneak in many kisses tho bc he likes u and sweet stuff is just sugar overload for him and he loves it 🤩

I think one of the important factors for him in a relationship is that fukuzawa approves of you? Since he does value his opinion over his own intellect

Like bro trusted him when it came to Fukichi and other ppl 💀

fukuzawa could legit go "aliens r evil" and ranpo would be like "ok everyone, aliens are evil!!!!" 🗿🗿🗿

honesrly i dont think why there would be a reason for fukuzawa not to accept you (if there is one then time to take 100 steps back and reflect on urself 💀)

He'd prob be impressed on how u even fell in love with him bc.. its ranpo💀

petty, clingy, can be manipulative ( but never with ill intentions), would legit prank ur ass bc he can, impatient and quickly bored af

But hes attentive, kind, can be patient when it comes down to it, empathetic (depends sksks) (also thank u fukuzawa for kinda ramming that into his head 🤩), affectionate in his own way (a sucker for physical touch but would NEVER right out admit it 🗿) and so much more honestly

there arent any real red flags tbh (might come as a surprise for some ppl)

Maybe maybe he'd obviously have a bit of difficulty fully opening up and i do believe there might be times where he once or twice legit deducted what ur feelings r for him bc hes used to being careful around people and especially bc in case someonw could randomly target the agency

Or is some kinda criminal in general

But honestly when hes learned to trust you then you know youve got yourself someone loyal 💅 and i mean FR loyal

personal favorite hc and honestly prob canon since we've already seen it : he'd not be ashamed to throw hands at someone when he thinks you're being insulted or harassed

And with hands i mean exposing them to 100% until they are pissing their pants and begging him to leave them alone 🤩🤩🤩

Also also, gives me off a similar vibe to dazai with the "maybe having to walk on eggshells" around them but ranpo doesnt make you feel as watched tbh as dazai which would kinda make it easier to talk to

but bro isnt as smooth as him so whOOP 💀💀

Overall iconic and a solid 8/10 🤩🤩🤩💕💕💕

The random ratings i gave them LMAO 💀💀💀 hope u like em 🗿

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The C person's dark side

Behind that innocent face, there's a woman who maybe subconsciously, or maybe not so subconsciously, manipulates situations to get what she wants.

Of course, this doesn't diminish Carmy's free will, as I mentioned here. But that's the whole point, she doesn't really respect his free will, she manipulates it or maneuvers around it, she tries to, in some way, control it and cries when she can't. She got her own 💔 in the process but she will continue doing it even now that she knows better, because it's in her nature. It's IC for her.

So we will unfortunately and surely see a lot more of that this upcoming S3. Claire's dark side will be out in the open, this time perhaps it will be more explicit and not so subtle. I'm not sure how it will be played out bc I gave up on trying to figure Storer out, I just let him be and trust him as much as I can, which is not much at this point, tbh...

But back to Claire, that is my main problem with her, not only because in IRL I hate manipulative people, even if they do it unconsciously, even when I know that someone who resorts to manipulations, especially emotional manipulation tactics, is someone deeply insecure and it's usually not their fault, as insecurities are typically rooted in early childhood and you can't hold a child responsible for anything or sometimes are linked to unsolved trauma, which clearly, you can't blame on the person either. But, here's the catch: I'm a person too, hi, hello! I have issues too, etc, and I don't manipulate shit! I respect people's free will to a fault even if it fucking kills me, and usually it does as a matter of fact. But I suck it up and move on like a pro, I just bounce back and heal without trying to manipulate anyone into acting the way I wish they fucking did. And I certainly don't take it out on others. I go to therapy, blow steam up at the gym till I have to pop painkillers to keep functioning, I skip town for a few days and re-connect with nature, I write FF, I journal, I read, I go to my BBF's house, and cry while she feeds me foods I don't even know how to cook, I swim, I walk my dogs, and lay on the floor with them till I feel better and when none of that works, I occasionally go back to boxing, I try not to bc it's not healthy for me. But I NEVER FUCK WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S FREE WILL, I DON'T CONDONE THAT BEHAVIOUR IN OTHERS IRL AND I HATE THAT MY FAVEST TV SHOW GOT RUINED WITH A CHARACTER LIKE THAT, I DON'T WANNA WATCH THAT. I mean, I will, sure, bc IK Sydcarmy is endgame, but I don't wanna.

Claire embodies everything I hate in people, everything I run away from IRL, her character represents all I think is toxic and should be avoided at all costs, all I consider ethically wrong in the most basic aspects of life because what makes us humans is our freedom and IK this sounds dramatic 🙄 but I believe that who doesn't respect our freedom, free will, etc, is trying to rob us from our humanity, sometimes inadvertently, which I think might be her case most of the time, but some other times they do it on purpose. They know what they are doing and do it anyway, they are willing to outsource and pay others to help them, etc. They know they are trying to force an outcome, which in business might be OK, seeing as at work we may find ourselves in these kinda situations more often than not and we don't really have a choice as to whether we put up with them or not, especially if we work in certain industries, however, we are NOT our jobs! When it comes to human relationships this M.O. goes against my whole belief system. Can't do it. Nope. It's not fair and fairness is where I draw the fucking line!!!

And no, I'm not a Sydcarmy soldier because of that, but yes, I'm ALSO a Sydcarmy soldier bc of that, for sure!

But on a deeper level, and this is actually what I hate the most here: I'm mad at Storer, whom I learned to love and hate in equal measure by now. You'll see, he allowed this character to happen. Either he created it or signed off on it if one of his other writers wrote Claire into existence. WHY!?!?! THERE WERE OTHER WAYS TO DO THIS, CHRIS!

I previously mentioned how shady Claire's behavior was from the beginning and how it probably wouldn't have been tolerated or woulda been flagged as a clear 🚩if a man woulda acted that way with a woman. I go over it in my response/rb to this comprehensive (just the way I like it) post by @damnikindadontcare

So summing up, I don't hate C, I hate Storer and what Claire represents. I hate that I will have to continue putting up with her and her dark side for who knows how many more eps, and every time I look at her all of this goes through my head, it kills the whole watching experience for me but if this is the price I have to pay to see Sydcarmy unfold and Claire eventually walk into the sunset defeated and not getting her way, I will pay it. Fuck it!

YOU WON STORER, NOW GIVE ME WHAT I WANT AND NO ONE GETS HURT (it's a song, not a threat, relax).

[an-au-blog]

that holiday zs is coming along WAY too different than the first draft, so imma just post those initial 4k on here bc i just really dont wanna scrap them completely (the intro is kinda the same as the actual fic im posting on ao3 but yk...)

enjoy :))

(this is the actual posted one btw https://archiveofourown.org/works/61647757/chapters/157594045)

The winter months were approaching like a persistent storm, knocking on the doorstep. As vicious as both weather and time, the invites and passive-aggressive messages started again.

It was always "you have to come home for the holidays" and "if you don't come, father will be disappointed," but Sanji hated every family gathering. The fact that he was contractually obligated to go to at least one was disgusting. And even more so that Judge pulled his strings to push him into going to this Christmas party.

Just before he was about to leave his phone, adamant not to answer his sister's texts, her name was displayed again. She was calling him.

Shit... he couldn't ignore her now...

Taking a deep breath, he braced himself. "Hey, Reiju."

"Hello, Sanji." Her greeting sounded as cold as ever.

"I know what you're calling for."

"You do?" Even questions sounded closer to statements out of her lips.

"Yeah, and I'm sure you already know my answer. Did Judge put you up to this?" He never liked getting angry at her, it was not her fault, but he couldn't hide the way he felt.

"Sanji," her voice softened just a tad. "I'm sorry that our father moved the dates for the charity event, there was no way he could have known you wouldn't be in town."

"Don't lie to me. That man planned it, I know him." Sanji was itching for a cigarette. His hands trembled in fury as he opened the box and pulled one out. "He knows I wouldn't be caught dead on more than one Vinsmoke social money-parade! That charity event was the only thing I could stand by willingly and he knew that." He lit his smoke and inhaled the thick scent of it, calming. "And don't call him that, he is no father of mine. I can't recall one time where he acted like one."

"There are two years until the contract is over, please don't do anything to anger him... I don't think he actually wants to see you go."

Sanji couldn't help the sharp and humorless laugh escaping him. "As soon as my restaurant is "payed off" I can promise you, he won't be seeing any of me. It's actually funny to me how his greatest failure is his most qualified employee." 

"Sanji..."

"Whatever, I'm going." He put out his cigarette. "Not like I have any choice." The man grumbled.

"Oh, and one more thing." She paused a bit, perhaps waiting for an answer but continued before Sanji did. "It would be wise to bring a date."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She didn't sound teasing or happy. "Just... trust me. And make it convincing."

The line went dead.

Well she never stopped being ominous

Lighting up a second cigarette, Sanji thought on what she said. Perhaps, she was right, if he took someone it could be more tolerable.

But then the problem was, who?

He couldn't take any lady, he wouldn't dare to put a woman through that torture. And it wasn't like he had a lot of friends either. Between helping at the restaurant and slaving away at the Germa company, he didn't have much time to socialize.

He needed someone who would piss off his family and would not be put off by them. He couldn't take any of the cooks... There was Luffy, but Sanji was sure he would try to kill them on sight and as satisfying as that sounded, he couldn't risk anything so close to the finish line.

After an agitatingly long consideration, Sanji took out his phone. Downloading the most popular dating app, he created a profile.

Name:

He furrowed his brows. Considering how this should be approached. Fuck it.

Name: Mr. Prince

Age: 21

Bio: I'm not here to date, I need a fake boyfriend for my annoying Christmas party. If you can hold your own and want a free meal hmu.

He considered not putting a photo, as he wasn't sure if anyone would recognize him from Judge's PR stunts. Sanji opted to taking a picture of his hand holding a cigarette. It might look edgy, it might look suspicious, but he had hit rock bottom a while ago and he was not above pulling out a pickaxe/sledgehammer. //idk which one i should put or do i put smth at all v smsl da e kato "he hit rock bottom but hes ready to go lower"

He scrolled through a couple of profiles, accepting all of them with very little ones he didn't swipe to accept, killing time until it was time yo go to the restaurant.

.

Not even ten minutes into the shift, Sanji had to turn his phone's sound and vibrations off. The constant buzzing was more irritating than Carne's unstoppable blabbering. 

Sanji's smoke break could not have come faster.

With a cigarette in hand, he held his phone in the other. Honestly, he didn't know what to expect... Dick pic, dick pic, a comment about his "slim fingers wrapped around-", alright this was disheartening. He lingered on a profile that looked a bit too suspicious - no photo of the person's face, wasn't in a single frame, just a beautiful orange cat. But reading the bio of the person, Sanji decided to keep on looking, he might be too polite for his family's prodding. 

There was another man. He looked, and Sanji was putting this lightly, like a criminal... Or a homeless criminal. Maybe he could give it a shot. He read the man's message.

Gin: I'm down if you're down ;)

Sanji knew better than to be hopeful, but giving it a shot, he typed out and clicked send.

Mr. Prince: down for what?

The ping sounded with the response of the man and it almost made Sanji's cigarette fall on the ground. He had never clicked the block button faster. What a creep.

Checking a few other profiles, he had started to get pissed off. He didn't have much more time left and he was on his third sig, one last profile and he would stop for now. His fingers were going to freeze and he was starting to worry it would snow soon. 

Zoro: will there be booze

Sanji clicked his tongue and if he wasn't searching for someone impudent, he would have blocked him just to be petty. But that was probably a good sign. Scrolling though the man's profile told him a few things. Firstly he put his full legal name, so he was either naïve or didn't care much. He hoped it was the ladder. God how he hoped. Zoro, apparently, was well built and even though it said nothing, from the few pictures, Sanji could tell that he did some kind of martial arts. If he was guessing correctly, that would be a safe bet as to where he had gotten all those scars as well, including the one on his face. And that was the other thing: he only had two pictures and both of them were clearly taken by other people. The first one was of him at a bar with two other men, the backs of their heads only visible. It was quite cinematic, enough to make Sanji a bit suspicious if it wasn't just some screenshot from an indie film or something. The second picture was of him in front of a ramen shop, he was laughing at something off screen in a relaxed manner that both exuded confidence and filled Sanji with an ache for the social life he would usually never mourn. 

Going back to the chat, he didn't give himself much time to think of a response. 

"EGGPLANT! GET YOUR ASS BACK IN HERE!" Zeff's voice echoed.

Typing out a quick response, he pocketed his phone.

"Yeah, yeah, you old geezer! Can the restaurant not burn down every time I look away?" Sanji snapped back.

Zeff laughed. "You've always been funny, little eggplant."

Sanji could hear Patty and Carne snickering. "You- " He could feel his face burning. "Stop calling me that!" Hissing out. "And you two back there better stop laughing, I am the sous-chef, I can fire you!"

"Nah, you won't." Patty smirked.

"You'll always be my little eggplant." Zeff said with a far too fond smile. Damn it old man, how could Sanji stay angry at him?

With a tisk, He rolled up his sleeves again and went back to work.

.

By the end of his shift, he felt as exhausted as ever. The cook hadn't even noticed when he reached his apartment, or his room for that matter. 

He took out his phone to set up another alarm, unsure if he would be able to wake up after his usual two.

Shit. He forgot he texted that guy.

He opened the chat.

Zoro: will there be booze

Mr. Prince: yeah, if you suffer through at least half of it

Zoro: if you dont wanna go so bad just dont

Zoro: also i hope you know ur acc looks like a bot

Zoro: still not sure its not

Damn it, he forgot to answer... At that point it was probably too late for Zoro to answer, but he had to answer now, if he didn't want to leave if for the morning in fear of forgetting again.

Mr Prince: sorry, I just got off work

Zoro: u deff don't sound like a bot atm

Mr Prince: I'm not? a bot??

Zoro: haha even ur responses look like a bot

Zoro: aight, was fun mr botman

Zoro: bye now

Mr Prince: WAIT!!!

Mr Prince: STUPID MARIMO HEAD COME BACK HERE

Mr Prince: FUCK YOUUUU

Mr Prince: GOD YOU RE SUCH A PRICK

Sanji was gripping his phone with anger. He couldn't believe this man was able to annoy him this much with so little words. If his brothers and father had anything in common with him, he would be able to get out of any conversation as long as he stuck with this man. It was a double edged sword, sure, but then again, he wouldn't have to deal with his family. He would chose any stranger over them.

He typed it something, just to delete it again. And again. Again... Damn it, the guy probably already blocked him. Or unmatched him, in any case, it wasn't like anything he wrote from then on would matter. he wouldn't see it.

Mr Prince: sorry

Before Sanji could close his phone, he saw the three dots that indicated the other was typing.

Zoro: damn ur so desperate for me

Sanji could feel his head heat up from anger and... Fuck this guy! What an asshole!

Mr Prince: I take it back.

Mr Prince: Go fuck yourself.

Zoro: no thanks

Zoro: s why i got this app

Mr Prince: ?

Zoro: idc abt relationships but being taken out and getting a good hookup after is easy here

Zoro: whatever tho

Zoro: were u srs abt the alcohol party

Mr Prince: yes

Zoro: cool

Zoro: when and where

Sanji could have gotten whiplash at how fast the conversation switched its tune, but nonetheless, he was too tired to get angrier. Needing this to end, he huffed a sigh and responded.

Mr Prince: It would be best if we meet and talk it out in person

Zoro: k

Mr Prince: Do you know Camie's Cafe? If you are free, we can go this Thursday at around 10.

Zoro: sure

Zoro: damn ur basic

Zoro: coffee date and superslims

Zoro: cant wait to see what ur hipsterass wears

Mr Prince: I am one second away from kicking your face in

Zoro: id like to see u try

Zoro: never been challenged by a failed pinterest collage

Zoro: ig theres a first for everything

The cook knew that answering would only rile him up more and encourage the man, so he ignored him instead. To make sure that he didn't put all his hopes on this overgrown house plant, he went back to looking though his other matches. Pitifully little serious ones. Half asleep he barely managed to go though them before passing out in his work clothes.

.

Thursday had come far too fast.

The snow was piling up and the little sparkling lights were being hung from traffic lights and leafless trees. Sanji looked at his phone - he was five minutes early. 

He fidgeted with his gloves before entering, nervous. 

The little bell on the top of the door rung, only making his anxiety spike even more. He scanned the tabled and felt himself able to breathe again when he didn't see the person he needed to meet. Going up to the counter, Sanji flashed a bright smile at the barista.

"Camie, my lovely flower!" He sighed theatrically. "How are you, this fine morning?" 

"Oh! Hey, Sanji, I'm doing great. Hopefully, you are too!" The girl behind the counter gave him a friendly smile.

"Ah, well, I'm great! Never been better! Even though I fear that now that I saw you, my day has reached it's peak." 

She laughed. "You say the silliest things."

His smile felt a bit less fake. Having to make a pretty lady laugh always made him feel a bit better. t least he could improve someone else's day...

"Hey, Casanova." A rude voice said behind him. "Are you gonna order or just take up the line space?" 

Sanji turned around to see some guy. He was muscular and with an ugly scowl hiding behind glasses. The man was still wearing his winter hat but had his jacket unzipped and had nothing but a tank top with a low cut underneath. 

"Eyes up here, dartbrow." He snarled.

Sanji looked behind the man, to see that there was no one else waiting. "You can shove your shitty attitude and the rest of the non-existing line up yours, cave man."

"Caveman?" He raised an eyebrow.

Damn, he looked familiar. "Yeah, one who talks big shit and wastes all my time picking fights with random people, like a prick."

"By the time it took you to flirt and throw meaning less blabber at me, you both of us would have gotten our drinks and been out of here."

"Whatever. I don't have time for idiots today." He turned to Camie, who in turn had been using the time of their bickering to make his usual drink. Bless her heart, women really were angels sent from above.

"Thank you, love." He smiled at her, leaving a big tip and the money for his order. Sitting down on a table for two, he took out his phone to text this Zoro guy. He must have been running late, because there was no one in line after the other guy and it was already five past ten.

Mr Prince: Did you arrive?

A familiar ping was heard from next to the counter. Sanji did not look up, as he saw the three dots indicating that Zoro was typing.

Zoro: Yeah

Zoro: ordering something and sitting down

Zoro: some poppas stick figure was holding up the line

Sanji froze on the spot. He was afraid to look up, but not too fond of reading the next message either. Shit... could it be? Did he actually have that much of bad luck?

Zoro: r u here btw

Zoro: ???

With great reluctance, Sanji looked up to the spot at the counter where the man was standing. He was now looking straight at him. Expression blank, just... staring.

He had taken off his glasses and hat, revealing the short green hair that was so prominent in the pictures on his profile. He looked so different when he wasn't smiling and wearing glasses or maybe it was just that Sanji had the talent to make his own life miserable...

The man typed out something on his phone, breaking eye-contact for a mere second, hitting send just to look Sanji in the eye when his phone pinged. A feral grin split his face as he approached Sanji's table.

The cook glanced down to see the notification saying "i think i c u" and cursed himself a bit.

"So what was the plan, exactly..." Zoro crossed his arms, making Sanji's eyes dart to his chest. And now that he was looking, really looking, the man was... handsome to say the least. He had a sharp jaw, he was toned and his chest was wide and muscly, squished like that it almost resembled breasts... 

"What, is this a hook up thing or are you actually a scam artist..." Zoro said again, drawing Sanji out of his daze. He was no longer smiling, genuinely pissed off.

The cook's eyes involuntarily darted to the man's chest once more, double, triple take, because damn he was big when he had his arms crossed like that.

"You got a problem with eye-contact there, buddy?" Zoro snarled once more,

If Sanji didn't feel like he had a nosebleed coming along just from looking at him, he would have jumped at the chance to fight him. But bleeding before the fight was far too humiliating. "S- sorry. It's had to- give me a second." He covered his nose and mouth with his hand and looked at anything and everything that wasn't in Zoro's direction. "It's not a "hook up thing", I actually need a fake date..." Sanji kept on looking away.

When he got no response, he dared to look at the man in front of him again. With great displeasure, he found he was giving him the most disbelieving and annoyed look known to man kind.

"Hey!" Sanji shouted. "What the hell is that look for!"

The brute rolled his eye. "This all seems like too much trouble. Why shouldn't I just leave?"

"Because you're here in the first place and if I'm right, your not the type to fo things half-assed."

Zoro smirked.

"And uh..." Sanji looked away. "It's in two days and I don't have time to look for anyone else."

Zoro's smirk disappeared. "Before I give you a yes or no, I need to see your hand."

"What!?" Sanji squeeked. Shrinking into himself as heads started tiring to them.

"Hand." Zoro extended his palm in expectation.

"This is so demeaning." Sanji sighed. He gave his left hand letting the mosshead take it. The cook wasn't sure what he expected but it wasn't to have his hand held with warm hands being turned this way and that. Despite the unhappy look on the man's face, Zoro was... surprisingly gentle.

"No."

"No?" Sanji echoed.

"The other one." He looked at the cook with such determination that it was hard to say anything in response. Speechless, Sanji placed his other hand into thw gentle, rough hands. He watched Zoro look at his hand, running his finger over the knuckle of his thumb. A small smile, barely noticeable to anyone who wasn't staring at Zoro, appeared on his face. It was such a faint thing and yet it softened the man's face, suddenly, the beautiful man in those pictures was in front of Sanji.

"Okay." Zoro hummed. He looked up at the cook again.

He was still holding Sanji's hand.

"Okay, what?" The blond pulled his hand away, regretting the loss of the other's warmth immediately. His face felt hot.

"I'll do it. Your family thing."

"Oh? Great!" Sanji beamed. "I prepared a little... uh... thing." He took out a piece of paper. "Before that, I just want to say we should probably put down some boundaries. Whatever you do is fine if it'll help with the convincing. Please do tour best not to get into any physical altercations..."

"They've said I look aggressive but-"

"No, no. It's... well, my brothers are kind of assholes to put it lightly. I really don't give a fuck how you treat them, but leave my sister out of it."

Despite the fact that Zoro's lack of reaction, Sanji decided to continue.

"I took out a few questions to make this more believable. So if we can memorize a few facts about each other-"

"What?" Zoro shot his eye to the blond.

"What."

"You want me to study for this thing? Why would I want to deal with shitty people and-"

"I'll pay you."

Zoro's eyebrow twitched ever the slightest. But Sanji knew. He was interested. Or at least that was what Sanji hoped it was.

"I can pay you if you survive at least two hours at the party. And if you don't fuck anything up for me and convince them well enough of course."

.

Zoro hummed. If it was enough to cover his debt to the witch... Damn it. He was going to do it in anyway, but this was a very welcome bonus.

"How much are we talking?" Zoro asked.

"You sound like a loan shark."

The green haired man almost chuckled at the irony.

"I'm kind of in a tight spot, myself... so how does a thousand berry sound?"

"A thousand?" Zoro raised an eyebrow.

The blond looked at him with slight disappointment at himself. "No? How about two thousand?"

Damn... Zoro never considered this guy could be rich. "And the free booze?"

"Of course."

Zoro did a half-nod. He reached over and grabbed the paper from the man's hands. "Okay, let's get this over with." He put on his glasses and squinted for a moment as he was reading. "These are some of the dumbest questions I've- what is this?" He looked up at Curlybrows with a mocking smile. "What is this, some kind of "need to know basis to know my lover" questionnaire?" He cleared his throat and started reading. "Number three - Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? Oh. Or this one -" He pointed at the list as if the other could see what he was showing. "The eighth one: Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common." He laughed. "We just met."

The blond's face became a bright red. 

"Oh my God, it is..."

The blond snatched the list out of the green-haired man's hands and stood up. With angry and hurried movements he got dressed and left the building.

Ah. Fuck.

Zoro left his things and ran out after the man. "Hey, wait." He tried but the other seemed to ignore him. He realized he had no idea what the other other person's name was. "Prince!" He yelled, a few meters away. 

The snow was starting to pile up, lightly raining and falling on his bare shoulders. It was starting to sting a little, not that it bothered him.

"Prince, wait! Curlybrows, hold on, I'm sorry, okay-" Zoro put a hand on the other's shoulder.

In a flash of movement, unknown how, when or from where, Zoro felt something conecting with his jaw. Painful and unexpected. Zoro stumbled back, if it was him just an year ago, he would have fallen flat on his ass, whatever- whatever hit him-

He looked at the blond man in front of him - leg held in the air and a mean look.

"Fuck off!"

If it weren't all hanging on a thread, Zoro would have tried sparing with the man, but not the place or time... "Curly, look, we're not gonna get to know each other from a morning of twenty-one questions." He dusted himself off, standing up.

The silence he got as an answer was enough to make him continue.

"Clear a day and find a less crowded place and I'll tell you what you want to know." The blond opened his mouth to speakbugot cut off. "What you want to know. Not some pop quiz."

Curlybrows sealed his mouth into a thin line and huffed. "Fine." He shuffled a bit before continuing. "Go back inside before you freez to death."

"I'm fine." Zoro rolled his eye.

"Sure." A sarcastic snarl.

.

It was almost a year ago.

Zoro was used to going to Luffy's crazy parties, it was a best friend's duty to make sure he didn't break his skull. For some reason, that new year's eve party, Luffy had decided to invite everyone he knows.

It was a mess to say the least.

Zoro lost Luffy in the sea of people within the first hour. He wasn't too worried though, because as far as he heard, he was somewhere with Usopp and that man had as much self-preservation as Luffy had energy. He was at least sure that they weren't going to have to call a hospital this time.

A bit into the night, he remembered a firy ginger-haired girl who bet that she could out-drink him. She introduced herself as Nami, monopolizing the bar area. To her credit - she already seemed a bit buzzed, so when he won, he wasn't too surprised. True, it was her girlfriend, who had called it quits, but it wasn't like she would have lasted much longer anyway.

Zoro had never been a light weight, but the girl had some backbone on her and had him swaying a bit near the end of their drink-off.

He wasn't drunk. No. He could remember almost everything from that night and he had full control of his body. It was just that his brain to mouth filter was even shorter and his reactions seemed slightly slower.

Nonetheless, it was fine.

It was more than fine because that night was about to become the most amazing night in his life.

Umsure of where he was going, Zoro walked around the house, looking for Luffy. There was no sight of him in the past hour or so and it starting to worry the man.

He stood in the midst of one of the larger rooms, looking around. He felt someone bump into him. By the time he had to turn around and see who it was, Zoro barely managed to dodge a knee to his stomach.

There was a blond man in front of him, the most vibrant blue eyes and soft-looking lips, redness in his cheeks and a heaviness in his eyelids - he was clearly drunk. And yet, the blond looked ready to murder him. What a sight.

"Watch where're goin'... " The man slurred his speech.

Zoro didn't have the time to say anything before someone else bumped into them, causing the fall of a plate that Zoro hadn't noticed im the other's hands.

The blond looked down at the fallen food, his eyes quickly becoming red and wet with unshed tears. "Who's gonna eat my cooking now?" He sniffled. " 's all y'ur fault!" He poked at Zoro.

Not minding the comment, Zoro grabbed the plate and knelt down and started collecting the dropped food off the ground. It looked like some kind of pastrie. One of it was stepped on, chocolate spilling from it's side.

When Zoro stood up again, he pretended not to notice that he was being tracked by the bright blue eyes. The blond man reached out to take the plate but stopped when he saw Zoro grabbing a handfull of the pasties and starting to eat them. Not leaving one on the plate, Zoro expected to get scolded for eating dirty food, or maybe the man was drunk enough to get mad for having his food eaten.

But no, he was just watching the other with wide eyes.

"I wanna kiss you..." The blond said, barely above a whisper.

And since his body seemed to move faster than his brain, "You're beautiful" was all Zoro could say in response.

"I'm really tired." After a small pause. "How was it?"

"Delicious. I hate chocolate." Before the blond could comprehend thw comment, Zoro continued. "You made those?"

"Yeah." He nodded. Adorable. " 'm a chef!"

"No wonder you're Luffy's friend." Zoro laughed.

"Imma get my own rest'rant soon!" His eyes sparked. " 's gonna be big an' blue, an' we'll never leave anyone hungry."

Zoro raised an eyebrow, apparently an indication for the other to continue. Small side steps out of the way of one or another person had them somehow on one of the couches. The blond leaning in, enthusiastically talking about cooking with a passion that filled Zoro with warmth he hadn't felt in a while. Even though the drowsiness and fatigue of the night, the man carried on with the intricacies of each dish, product or cooking utensil.

Half-asleep on Zoro's chest, still talking, letting the green-haired man pay with his right hand. Commiting to memory every little cut and mole - like the one on his thumb, or the little calluses on his fingers from holding a knife for hours on end.

When he looked out to see there was snow piling, he couldn't care for it much. He'd never felt warmer.

In the morning, Zoro had gotten up to roam about the house in search of something to drink. One of the things he regretted most. The next thing he knew, he was coming back to an empty couch and Luffy - stuffing his face with eggs that smelled far too amazing to be made by him.

"Luffy, where did the blond cook go?"

Still chewing, Luffy grinned. " 'oro! 'Anji 'e't 'or 'ork."

He left for work?

Zoro had been resigned to the thought of never seeing him again. All until he saw a familiar looking hand on an app he hadn't used in months. But it couldn't be him, right? That would be too good to be true.

[hexofvex]

Sleepless Night || Kamisato Ayato x Gender Neutral! Reader

Premise: Concerned by your husband's horrendous schedule, you have a late night talk with him.

CW: angst with comfort (bcs can I write anything else)

Total WC: 801 words

A/N: dropping in with some Ayato simp material before I go missing bcs of college again </3. Also I can't title my works for shit lmao

──────────────────

You'd lost count of the hours.

Two? Three? Four? You'd been tossing and turning all night, practicing different exercises to fall asleep, all in vain. The emptiness next to you was awfully heavy, together with the silence caused by the sound of only your breathing in the room.

Of course, falling asleep by yourself wasn't uncommon. And It's not as if it ever bothered you; you understood the burden of being the Yashiro Commissioner and knew why Ayato was working so hard. And yet every night, you would be awoken by the the shuffling of your husband as he laid down next to you, before falling back asleep.

Tonight was the third night in a row when that wasn't the case.

You haven't had the time to speak with him about it. Even worse, you barely saw him around these days.

With a heavy sigh, you threw your blanket aside and stepped out of bed. Slowly and as silently as you could, you made your way to Ayato's office, attempting to not alert any servants. You opened the sliding door, silghtly cringing at the loud sound of it.

"You're not sleeping?" You heard your husband's voice greeting you.

"You're not either, darling." You retorted. "I know you're not sleeping too well usually but this is a bit too much isn't it?" As you stepped closer to him, you noticed his tired eyes and disheveled hair. Small details, unnoticeable from afar, but details that told you he wasn't in his element. Despite his hectic work schedule, Ayato would never fail in looking perfectly composed. It made his current condition all the more worrying.

You sat down at the other side of his desk, throwing a stray look over his papers. As always, the wooden surface was so covered in documents and letters you could barely even see spots of it anymore. "Are you alright? Has anything happened that requires these extra hours?"

"You know, I've heard some very interesting things."

You blinked with a slight furrow of your brow. It was an obvious change of subject, a bit sloppy (which you would blame on his sleep deprived state), but you took the bait, curious of what he was referring to.

"What things exactly?"

"Certain rumours," came the reply. "About you and Thoma."

You scoffed. Of course, why were you surprised? You, a member of a less wealthy and influent clan. Thoma, a percieved outsider, because of his heritage. The more closed minded people had made their dislike for the two of you crystal clear, so something of that nature was to be expected. "Our enemies will say anything to discredit us. But you haven't payed attention to any of that nonsense, I trust?"

"Certainly." Ayato put down his brush, finally looking you in the eye. "You are among my most trusted people. A measly piece of gossip isn't enough to shake my faith in the two of you. But it has made me think."

You placed an elbow on the desk, inching closer. "I'm not sure I follow."

"Perhaps it has been my own neglect of you that has weakened our image and allowed for these rumours to come into being."

Oh you could see it now.

"You're working now so you could free up time? No, no-"

"I have a duty to this family, [Name]."

"So do I!" You reached over the desk and held his hands. "I can help you."

Ayato sighed. "The work I do is far more dangerous than what you and Ayaka do, [Name]."

"I know. But, my love, ever since we got married I only took over the cultural affairs with Ayaka. Your burden is the same. That's not how it should be, and you know that."

"And it is yours, and her safety that I must preserve. And not just the two of you, but every person that is in my care. It's a heavy burden, but it must be done."

"It must," you said, gently brushing your thumbs over his hands. "But you're not alone anymore. You're no longer young, alone, having to protect your family and stabilise a declining clan. You're allowed to let us help."

You husband closed his eyes and looked away, tightning his grip around your fingers. "I wished you'd never have to see me in a situation like this, my dear."

You left out a soft laugh. "You've seen much worse from me. If I'm allowed to be vulnerable then so are you. Lean on me, plese."

Silence.

"Ayato."

"Alright. I can attempt to."

You grinned. "Good."

Perhaps it'll turn out to be harder than you expected. But looking in your husband's lavander eyes, obscured by stray strands of light blue hair, you found it impossible to resists the incentive to do anything in your power to protect him.

[star-on-a-beach]

Okay um. I really don't like doing this, like, ever

But

Tw for vent post, Bc idk, maybe it'll help if I talk about this where it'll be seen and not on a vent blog where I know no one sees it

So it's pretty obvious that pretty much everything right now is in kind of a shit state and I'm really at the end of my line trying to be optimistic about it. Presidential election, rp, guard, college, art, writing, all of this shit, even stuff I'm supposed to enjoy, makes me want to fucking shatter a rock because I don't want to do anything anymore other than scroll through social media on my phone which, I've probably developed an addiction, and of course that makes me feel even fucking worse bc I told myself I'd never get addicted and look at where I am now

So many things I'm unhappy with are really kind of tying back to me and I'm so angry at everything but especially myself now, but theres nothing I feel like I can do about it but try and break it all down I guess?

There's shit going on with color guard and, other than the friends I've made within it and the actual performances, I don't fucking enjoy it anymore because our coach is apparently super fucking shitty and a liar and unfair and argumentative and never sticks with the drill she writes and doesn't give us the resources to put it together correctly, WHEHN SHES LITERALLY OUR COACH AND THATS HER JOB, IVE TRIED SO HARD TO STAY KIND TO HER BUT WITH EVERYONE AROUND ME TALKING SHIT AND TALKING ABOUT WHAT A BAD PERSON SHE IS IM STARTING TO DO IT TOO AND I HATE IT

And then obviously there's the actual schoolwork that needs to get done, I thought I had not one, not two, but 3 FUCKING ESSAYS DUE ON THE 11TH, WHICH WERE ASSIGNED TO US ON WEDNESDAY, AND EACH HAD TO BE 700 WORDS LONG. Granted it doesn't actually have to be like that but teachers are talking about finals now and I'm going to have SO many essays for that and I have a whole debate too. I'm tired and sick of waking up at ridiculously different times for classes and not being able to have a goddamn nap bc I'm either working, procrastinating with the screens addiction again, or I don't have enough time because god knows I can't take power naps for SHIT, and I'm not fucking paying for coffee in this economy

I can't even relax how I normally want to because I'm so tired from everything, too. Writing big things for TAOCC or drawing feels like a chore, and then I feel obligated to draw others characters or I want to actually do so but I have no energy for it, and I can't get my art to look how I want it to perspective-wise, no matter how many tutorials I look at, and it never ends up the way I want and I haven't even finished TAOCCTOBER or Memoryquest, both of which I feel shitty for, because then they're both more things that I'm giving up on, and I give up on so much shit so easily unless I'm being pushed over and over and over and over, although rn I really wanna just say to hell with it and kill both of them entirely

And with taocc as a whole, I don't even know where to begin. I mentioned in my earlier post that I'm struggling to be assertive and actually say what I want with RP, which results in me feeling really unsatisfied with it a lot. I feel like people aren't interested in my characters and I need to be the one trying to build the characters' connections by asking questions, which. I love when other characters ask mine questions, because so much would be revealed if PEOPLE JUST ASKED. I know you guys don't mean it in this way but I feel like I'm trying to push all of this out, but I barely get anything back except for maybe one question or comment or smth, but it feels like the characters aren't interested in my characters' pasts, and that means the mods aren't either. Which, is really no fault of yours, whether you are or not, it's my fault because I can't bring myself to get off my high horse and actually say "hey, are you willing to have your characters ask about mine?" because I have the firm mentality of "if they wanted to, they would", and I'm trying to make other characters feel important while also craving mine to feel important, but the moment they do, I wonder if I'm taking the main-character roles too much and I need to even it out so I immediately divert the attention back to yours and feel shitty about it. Once again, this is no one's fault but mine, and this is partially why my relationship with my last rp partner, aka my ex bsf, ended, because I wasn't assertive enough and kept wondering if I was hogging the spotlight any time focus did switch to my characters which just isn't enjoyable for anyone. So I'm angry and terrified that these patterns which are repeating are going to lead to a similar outcome.

It isn't even just that though, I just really hate how I write as a whole rn. I used to be so poetic and good with words but now they read difficult unless I'm writing a great wall of text, and my characters aren't acting the way I want to, partially because I'm trying to morph them to get along more with other characters and diminish their flaws so they're liked by others, but it just takes away from who they were originally and I hate that as well. It's easy to get caught up in the heat of the rp but for fucks sake I expect myself to be a better writer than this.... and I haven't even gotten around to fixing the fucked-up-with-a-side-of-cheddar timelines, which have been NAGGING at my mind for FUCK KNOWS HOW LONG, but once again, I don't even want to do anything anymore and I get mad bc the only things I wanna do are just self indulgent shit and like hell I'm asking for that from anyone (see, that's part of the problem, right there.)

I think the only thing I hate more than not being assertive with rp is the fact that I'm an adult among you all. Yes, being 18 now while the majority of you are minors is a massive fucking deal to me, and I'm realizing why exactly adults generally avoid friendships like this, because I'm constantly worried about being a good example to you all. I have to have the good advice, I have to be available, I have to be good with assertiveness and boundaries, hell part of the reason I try and avoid venting so much is because you all do not fucking need to have that burden. Every time I do something like this post I immediately think "these are kids and I'm an adult, it's kids trying to help an adult who should not be saying this stuff or laying this burden on them", as if I'm some kind of weirdo. I really try my damndest to not be one of those adults who dumps all their problems on adolescents in order to feel better about their own shitty life, I don't want to be the adult who their younger friends are comforting all the time and have that burden on them (yes, I am completely aware this post contradicts that, and yes, I am very ashamed but I feel Im at rock bottom and you guys deserve to know (but don't deserve the burden of it)). I don't feel like the example I want to be to you guys, I'm incredibly dense, and half the time, I feel like an oblivious idiot for the simplest fucking things in rp even when no one says anything that implies any of you guys think that. I get so annoyed as well, and that's another part I especially hate, it's that I get annoyed with the smallest things so damn easily, whether it's someone saying something random in call and breaking silence, or someone talking about a subject after we've moved on, or a rant that's gone on for a really long time. All of those are ridiculous things to be annoyed by, and I'm completely aware of that. I'm not proud of it whatsoever. It might also be the weather, but I'm so, so, so annoyed by so many tiny, insignificant things nowadays that it's ridiculous, and I've snapped on call a few times which I feel horrible about. I'm trying so hard to be a good, strong role model for all of you, because that's what you deserve and I want to be like that for you. But, both here and in real life, my own idiocy and density and emotions make me feel like I'm never going to escape being a dense, emotional, spacy child who keeps trying to catch up. And as an adult, I'm really, really, really upset that I feel like this because once again, you guys are the minors, not me. I'm not saying you guys should feel like that (I really hope not, no one should feel like that), but it feels even worse since I'm trying to be the adult for you guys to look up to, but I'm looking up to all of you instead. And then, even worse, I get jealous. Not of the bad shit you guys go through, but like. Insignificant things. Art styles, friends, activities, actually having your family around. I really hate myself for being jealous of that and always comparing and trying to match it since it's completely hypocritical of me otherwise.

I'm closing up this vent, but tw for some darker themes in the next paragraph

I'm really just kind of sick of life as a whole. I'm done being an adult, to hell with this, just let me be the younger friend again so I don't have to see myself as an old baby. I'm tired of all of this and the dark jokes I make, they're horrible, but they're becoming more common and I think about the content of them a lot. I'm so tired of this shit and feeling like this and I'm mad and ashamed that I'm making this post because of everything I said above. I'm so done with everything. To hell with this country, to hell with my future, to hell with drawing and writing and trying to put stuff out. At the time of writing this I'm crying, because I'm really really missing my dad. I want to hug him and be with him. I want my family overall to be okay. I want to feel happy and content with myself and my life like back in summer. I'm so sorry for having to say all this but it's the truth and, again, this is my last resort for trying to feel better because hell knows I don't have the initiative to make an appointment and talk to a therapist on campus. Ik this will go away later but ffs i don't know if I can wait until later.

Ok, heavy vent part is over

I've said a lot so I'm ending it here. If you choose to ignore this, that's fine. I'd appreciate some kind of acknowlegement, tbh, whether it's a like or a comment or something, or just a kind word (whatever you do, please don't just put *hug* and leave it at that, hugs dont really feel like they have much more meaning at this point). It feels ridiculous to ask you for comfort especially after kinda dumping all of this here for you guys to see but I might as well try ig. Idk, I'm gonna just try and not delete this out of shame.

I hope you all know that I love you guys so, so, so, so much. This community has brought me so much joy and leaving is the last thing I'd ever dream of unless I had to. I hope you guys don't mind me doing this too much. Logically Ik you probably don't but, really, none of what I just vented about is based in logic regardless.

Thank you for reading, whether it was skimming or fully reading it. Kind words are appreciated but obviously not forced and I love you guys so much. Goodnight ❤️

[estarion]

MUN & MUSE AS ROOMIES PT I.

　WHOSE ROOM IS TIDIER ? hhhhhh. i'm not a dirty bitch, nor is he. but he's somewhat disorganised, even though all his things are beautiful and aesthetic and shit ? idk, the more i think of it the more we might be as messy / clean as each other 　WHO PAYS THE BILLS ? he'd wait for it to magically get done ( by me ) 　WHO COOKS THE MEALS ? imagine him cooking for someone. loool, me. and he'll tell me it stinks 😞 while he gorges on something's blood 😞😞 in front of my salad 😞😞😞 　WHO DOES LAUNDRY ? we'd each do our own sdlfksdlfksdf i don't think i could dare going near his things 　WHO KILLS THE SPIDERS ? i don't go out of my way to kill these things unless they're big and juicy and have set up shop in a zone that is mine . . . i feel he'd be similar. neither of us would have the patience to capture and release, sadly. 　DO YOU GET ALONG ? yes, but it's all bc of my efforts ～ 💅 　WHAT'S SHOPPING FOR ESSENTIALS LIKE ? he wouldn't help with groceries for a reason like 'that's on u, girl'. i'd have to run shared space decor ideas by him before committing to anything tho bc if i selected smth 'bad' he'd never stop bitching and i'd have to return it and get what he says is better :x we'd both do a lot of online shopping and impulse buying !!!!! 　DO YOU PARTAKE IN HOBBIES TOGETHER ? i'd get him into video games fosho, easy werk. he'd prolly get way competitive and be insufferable and toxic and make me regret it. mhhh. we could watch tv together eheh . . . but he'd wanna see nonstop gore and action and i'd be like :(((((( !!! i guess we could find common ground with horror / drama ! 　DO YOU HAVE HOUSE PARTIES ? he would want to but i'd be against it. lmao. HE'D THROW ONE ANYWAY and i'd stay in my fckin room. then give him the cold shoulder for a while. he'd surprise me by drying my laundry or smth for me to apologise :') but never actually apologise SDLFKdslfkSLFDKSFD

[heartfucksmouth]

so my mil def overheard my meltdown yesterday and she's been quiet and meek and I can tell she had been emotional. before she left for work this morning she mentioned it and said if she can do anything to help me be happy living here she'll do it. but like... you wont?? how you act 99% of the time makes me unhappy and uncomfortable and like I'm being judged??

my mom said maybe it's good bc she needs the reminder... but it's exhausting bc my mil needs a reminder every 2 months to stop being a miserable asshole bc she's insecure af (and super trashy conservative White Woman) and it's not my goddamn job to be her mirror or her life coach or whatever the fuck this is

I don't *want* to dislike her, I don't want the stereotypical shitty mil relationship, I don't want to be uncooperative or hard to live with, but I also can't deny the feeling she gives me in my gut. Shea a fucking asshole and she doesn't even know it (or denies it bc she can't confront herself) and like. if she's spent 50 years this way, I'm not holding my breath that she'll change.

she's everything I despise.

she's racist, sexist, ableist, hypocritical, she's inauthentic always, fragile af, she lives her life in fear and speaks incredibly confidently about things she knows nothing about,

shes a hoarder of toilet paper among other things, shes a terrible cook and thinks salting food will give you a heart attack and she cooks meat while it isnt completely thawed so its dry af, she complains about everything and does nothing to change it,

shes self employed and has no financial plan for retirement besides relying on her husband (and son?). she charges us ridiculous rent so we'll never save up and leave, she yells and swears at her dog for doing dog things and uses intimidation to make him behave, she refuses to clean her house "unless someone pays" bc shes a house cleaner for other people,

she moves my shit and we essentially dont have evidence that we exist in the house except in our room (me and myles would have to bring our shower stuff into the bathroom every time until i bought a shower caddy and hung it up without asking), she once threw away myles toothbrush bc she "was sick of looking at it," if anything is wrong or broken or missing its ALWAYS myles fault, she expects myles to bring in the groceries every day even if its one bag,

she'll do all the dishes but leave aidans bottles for me to do, she insists aidan will die if he doesnt wear socks, she sits him in front of the tv and leaves him there, she lets him cry and tells him hes fine while refusing to pick him up to comfort him, she only knows how to make him fall asleep with a bottle and once hes asleep she puts him down, but she's pro-life and tried to use Aidan being born as further proof supporting her belief ..

she's a Trump supporter. STILL. I should have just lead with that. I could go on for a while longer but I'm exhausted.

idk. idk what to do. I'm just going the way I did with my dad and trying to feel nothing for her. I get that she's human and flawed and has her own shit and she's fucked up and insecure but like. I don't care? I don't want to cater to it or live with it or expose my child to it. I feel guilt for it, but I'm not going sacrifice myself to make others comfortable anymore.

I really hate this.

[octoagent-ray]

oh my goodness gracious me

guess who just finished playing the Redwall mobile game "the lost legends of redwall"

I'm specifically coming on here bc nobody is talking about it and it's got some of my favourite characters ever, probably because it's a game and you can feel a lot more in tune with the characters or something yadda yadda

anyways I just went through such an emotional roller-coaster with the last story specifically. for some context it's another version of the "escape the gloomer" Redwall mobile game. I have so much emotional attachment towards the main otter Gillig I literally can't stop thinking about him, I used to play escape the gloomer all the time but I never got to finish it because you have to pay to play most of the game- but literally as soon as I saw "Gillig" in the description for the story I was like "WAIT A MINUTE YOU MEAN MY BOY?? MY SWEET ANGEL WHO CAN DO NO WRONG???!"

I love this stupid little otter so much

But anyways here's spoilers so if you were planning on playing this pls scroll past

The ending literally shook me to my core

Do you understand how many times I died trying to succeed in this mission 😭 I swear I was sat debating over which option would get me in the least trouble at every decision. And can I just say for a moment how much shit Gillig went through, attacked by snakes, cats, insane water rats and probably more?! And I also want to say that Skipper calls him KID. HE'S ONLY A WEAN, I know that media does that where they say kid just because one person is older, and it's not always because the person is an actual child. But I can't think of anything that hinted towards how old this little guy is (obvi ik that its an older time period and all the other characters were probably incredibly young when fighting huge searats and stuff *stares directly at Matthias* but let me cook)

All of the gloomer fight scenes had me SWEATING. every scene had me on the edge of my seat. Especially in the final battle where they're fighting underwater and the gloomer bites to bone in Gillig's shoulder and he states that it goes numb and he can't feel it. I was so worried for him the whole time.

AND THEN AT THE END SKIPPER JUST PULL HIM TO THE SIDE AND BASICALLY SAYS HE WENT THROUGH ALL OF THAT FOR NOTHING. My jaw dropped so fast like bro is not serious rn, but I forgive Skipper because he didn't know the bloody gloomer lived and he said he wouldn't have sent him down there if he'd known.

Also Skipper is such a good leader man I love him, AND THE WHOLE STORY WAS BASICALLY GILLIG TRYING TO MAKE SKIPPER PROUD. When Skipper said he was proud at the end I was Joyous, I'm proud of him too Skipper.

Sorry 4 the long post I can't help myself sometimes 😔💔

Shout out to Gloria for carrying our ass across the finish line and basically carrying the entire plot. ❤️❤️❤️

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: The Boss Baby: Family Business

So would you believe me if I told you this movie is better than the first Boss Baby? I mean it's not... much better, but still, improvements were made here. Let's talk about them.

We jump foward to a now adult Tim, who has fallen out of touch with his brother Ted (the original Boss Baby) and struggles to connect with his daughter Tabitha. He soon discovers his baby Tina is on assignment from BabyCorp to stop a new villain intent on wiping out all parents. Tina gives both Ted and Tim a formula to make them both young again, recruiting their help on this mission and roping them into all sorts of Mischief ala the first movie but... like I said, marginally better.

So yeah, once again, very silly plot for a very silly movie. And yet... I don't know, it feels more... genuine than the first one did? Like it leans less on the obvious "oh look at funee baby in suit talking like a businessman" (though there is still plenty of that) and leans more on character interactions and I gotta respect that. Especially since it actually gives me a reason to care about Ted and Tim this time around, actually strengthening their bond and reflecting on how they weren't there for each other growing up like they promised they would be, and how they're given a second chance to change that now. Idk, just some pretty nice thematic stuff in there, along with Tim learning to be a better dad to his kids along the way (daddy issues in Dreamworks movies, they never stop, I Swear).

The characters here are... ok. Better than they were in the first movie, I mean fuck, the titual Boss Baby is toned down a lot and is honestly one of the least painful parts of this. Tim is also better, mostly bc he's actually an adult here so he's not your annoying kid stereotype like he was before. Tina is... kind of annoying, being the source of all of the "business baby" jokes and she grates on the nerves every now and then. Tabitha is ok though, getting some good development alongside Tim. Then we have our villain, Armstrong, who is... surprisingly funny? Like he isn't the funniest dreamworks baddie by any means, but he was certainly watchable. Hell, you could kind of say that for this movie as a whole, really.

The humor here is a little better, striking surprisingly a little more mature than last time (featuring an insane joke about agnostics like what the fuck Dreamworks I never would have thought you'd ever reference religion again after Prince of Egypt holy shit). The emotional beats also hit just a touch more, feeling a good degree less forced than the first movie's. And yet for everything this movie does well, I think its biggest problem is it drags on for far too long, just meandering with scenes that don't need to be anywhere near as long as they are, into a movie with a longer runtime than it probably should have had. It gets... tiring, after a while, and you get to the point where you just want the damn thing to end.

The animation here is really nothing special, basically looking identical to the first movie's, though I will say a few of the imagination sequences were sort of eye catching here. The music is also pretty simplistic but there were a few diagetic songs that I thought were... ok enough. Pretty unoffensive in that reguard, though of course, the pop songs just couldn't keep their nose out of this movie either.

Like I said, its far from being anything resembling good, but fuck, I watched Spirit Untamed last night and this was better than that and it was also better than the first movie, so that's gotta count for something. Even then though, it doesn't count for... that much.

Overall Rating: 4/10

Verdict: Pay tribute to the Greatest Dreamworks Character Ever: The Agnostic Kid

Previous Review (Spirit Untamed)

Next Review (The Bad Guys)

[his-tamine]

life update :3 (a little vent-y)

sooo, been over 200 days since the house caught fire and we had to move. obviously, a lot of stuff's been happening. can't go into deep details for fear of someone I don't want to find this, finding this, but I'll say this much: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've very rarely mentioned family on here (for obvious reasons - this account is NOT made for that lol) but here goes. tw for pretty heavy topics: mentions of abuse, father issues, health issues, transphobia & financial issues. I turned 18 Feb 21st, literally just almost 2 months before the damn house caught fire. Meanwhile, my brother's still a minor. MEANING, I narrowly escaped the custody battle my mom & dad are in. But unfortunately, he's still stuck in the middle of it. :( My pops was not really the nicest person to me when I was a kid -

whooping my ass whenever I did anything wrong, no matter how minor the offense was.

Telling me that he loved God more than he loved me, because "You're God's gift to me. God is the one who gave you to me in the first place," when I was four.

Telling me that if I didn't start being ok with receiving physical affection from family - which he knew made me uncomfortable - I was "going to grow up to be a S3R1AL K1LL3R" (yes he said that.)

Telling me that "God doesn't make mistakes," and that he "made me into a beautiful young woman for a reason" after I came out to him personally at 14 - big mistake 0/10 stars, would never do again. You get the idea. And those are the tame examples I could think of. So, I finally cut him off. As soon as my mom, brother, & I were in our new place, I blocked his number and haven't talked to him since. I was sick of him not respecting my boundaries, and repeatedly demonstrating that he thought of me as nothing more than a possession. Tired of him making me feel crazy all the time too. But now he's fucking with my mom & brother. Intentionally not paying child support till the last minute possible - & then making it in as small of payments at a time as he possibly can (yes he can afford it btw.) Trying to force my brother to go over to his place, even when my brother does NOT want to - which has begun giving my brother psychological issues & issues with school, mirroring the ones I used to struggle with bc of that bastard. My mom is juggling all sorts of things, & I really at least wanna try to help financially by getting a job, but I can't yet because: she says that I'm only 18, & shouldn't have to get a job to help out (I disagree.) I don't have an ID bc she wants me to wait on my legal name change - which costs a pretty decent chunk of change - reason is bc she "wants me to have as easy an early adulthood life as possible" (love her.) AND, I haven't actually graduated - No, I dipped in 11th bc school was hell (not exaggerating,) & instead just decided to pursue a GED, that I haven't been able to work towards bc of the shit show that is life in midwestern america. So I've been very depressed, exhausted, & hopeless. The least I can do is clean up our house while she's at work, & get this - some days I don't even have the physical energy to do THAT! I do not know what the hell is wrong with my body currently, but it absolutely sucks. & I'm really tired of just taking up space all the time. She's dealing with health issues too, & I'm always worried ab her. Idk what the hell to do, but something's gotta give. Everybody needs a fucking break. I keep trying to shoo away all the dark thoughts, push myself as often as possible, & keep my fingers crossed, but jfc... Sorry just needed to yell into the void for a sec. I'll live, I'm sure - I've survived worse. Sometimes things just suck. But I like to think that someday they won't. :,)

[gordiita]

do you actually like ur husband & if u don’t can u not leave him ??

hey sorry i didn't get to this yet i was making dinner when u sent it last night and i dont get much time to myself.

so like. im not sure what depth of honesty you're expecting so i dont know how to answer this actually. its complicated, on both accounts.

i was a completely different person when i decided to move here 3 years ago. i was seeking adventure and boy did i get it! but my frontal lobe was underdeveloped, i was desperate to be loved, had nothing to lose, and of course i was in love with him. i still am, somehow.

i think it's moreso that he literally wants nothing to do with me. he is not attracted to me. he puts a pillow between us at night. i genuinely think he doesn't like me or love me. he likes having me around to make his life more comfortable - feeding him, doing household chores, listening to his rants. aside from paying our rent he doesn't help me with anything and he's not interested in me as a person. there's zero affection, he refuses to do things with me or really do anything outside of his strict personal routine (99% sure he has undiagnosed autism but he refuses to accept this) and yeah if anyone was curious he does hit me sometimes im not joking about that. that's life!!

i should stop myself ahead of this tangent bc i could go on. he has his share of flaws and annoying habits but i'm not certainly perfect either. i just wish he was nicer to the woman he claims to love.

in regards to taking action to dissolve this (dumping his sorry ass) i'm not dissing your level of maturity here when i say im guessing you've never been married. 'leaving' is reeeally not that simple, logistically or emotionally. it'd be way easier if we were just dating but marriage is a binding legal contract. again i dont mean to sound condescending it's just more complicated than many would assume.

plus, as you may or may not know, i immigrated from the US to australia to be with him. might sound unwise but at first it wasn't, i saved up plenty of money to fund my move and establish myself here, i did everything the right way, and i'm still waiting on immigration to process my visa after nearly 3 years. that's not really something you can just hit undo on. it's not like i just moved across town into his place, i moved across the literal planet.

financially i have nothing to my name and he doesn't have much more. the economy is really bad here. i did get a job but i havent started getting paid yet, even when i do it's only one shift a week. he, in combination with mental illness, has isolated me from having a support system. i have no friends, no confidence, no safe haven. my family can’t help. (1. they dont have much themselves 2. they’ve done enough already 3. my mom is my closest family member and she thinks he’s an angel so that’s not happening.)

money (or lack thereof) is definitely a factor but even if i had it i can't just up and break my lease on our apartment. we also have a cat who is like our child and i really do not want to leave her. cats do indeed have feelings and form close bonds with their people and i couldn't break her little heart like that.

plus australia’s divorce laws are utter bullshit!!! you have to be officially separated and living separately for a whole year in order to file for divorce. not to mention well he’s basically threatened to either end himself or live out the rest of his life wallowing in misery if i ever leave him. i can’t have that on my back. i’m fucked. basically i’m fucked!!!

ultimately it is what it is. i just wish he would like beat the shit out of me once and for all so that i had undeniable physical evidence. i mean, he does that, but not in a way that anyone would notice. even if he did... i don't leave the house enough to anyone to notice/care.

i've kinda given up on having a fulfilling relationship or expecting better from him. instead i'm trying to seek happiness through self initiated means. hobbies and stuff. self-improvement.

the hardest part is knowing that i want a family - most who do start by my age - but he would make a terrible father, and the longer i wait, the less time i have to find anyone else who would be a decent parent. torturous position to be in. but i got myself here didn't i.

[that-punk-adam]

I wish there was a better way of just…. [vague hand gestures]

Housing. Is such a pain. To get and maintain.

Rent. You never own it. $1.4k a MONTH for a poorly designed and maintained closet with NO amenities included in that rent. A single person cannot afford to live alone anymore because I guess we decided to not start burning shit down once $7.20 is a federal minimum that isn’t sustaining whatsoever. It can pay a phone bill and feed you some days. Car insurance, gasoline, maintenance on a car, food, water, gas (utility), electric. You’re super lucky if you’re going to get 3k a month after taxes.

I had to hunt online for housing. I had to apply to places, average $25-50, to get denied at most because husband doesn’t have a job because he wasn’t living in the city full time. You need a car to go ANYWHERE in this fucking country. Car = insurance, payment, gasoline, maintenance. $500? $600? $800? On top of rent + bills. On a single income just a tad over 2.3k after taxes. We didn’t have a vehicle for a while and when we asked (begged) my in-laws (his sister + her wife) for help with a car, they had to drive to Kentucky for the cheapest thing they could find bc there was no way in hell for me to save anything. Nothing at all. After the online nonsense we had to wake up as early as possible for him to drive to these locations, all 20+ minutes away from each other, on a crunched schedule, on what would be considered a ‘last moments notice’. If I was on a 9-5 schedule there would have been zero hope of ever getting out of my parents house short of running away because the modern world only runs between 9a to 6p.

Finally, a paid off car. In-laws back into it and bust the radiator to hell. Totaled. No car. We didn’t even get the insurance and title switched over. They were going not even 5 miles and killed it. Now on our own we won’t ever have a car unless he can work (????) and we manage to have no accidents or try to enjoy life too much.

I was 2 minutes late today after waiting on a ride that took almost 15 minutes to get to the unit we finally managed to get. The second driver got to my workplace as fast as he could but it was still 2 minutes too late. The apartment hunting made me late repeatedly. We almost had a roommate and I had to be late for that too. I was so sick I couldn’t even be awake 2 times in the span of 2 months and I’m convinced it was a nasty variant of covid. Testing isn’t accurate anymore and those tests cost $20/each, not (100%) covered by insurance, and you ‘should’ use at least 4 tests over the span of 3 days.

Y’all. I have only been in the work force for 4 ish years and I am ready to retire. If I loose this position I’m not even going to attempt to look for anything else. I’m going to leave society and if I die then oh well. The concept of being born for the purpose of working until you die is the most cruel and unethical thing I could ever do to another human being. I love my hypothetical children so much that they will never exist. I love my hypothetical children that I will do everything in my power to make sure they are never conceived. There is nothing worst then to be born into this form of slavery and to never to be able to opt out of it except for death.