#there is a reason i usually stop being friends with the women in my life who did that or are doing that

[ikjun]

i actually think giving up your hobbies, even something as “trivial” as fandom or fandom spaces on social media, to only study or go to work and spend time with your boyfriend a disturbing lifestyle that is normalised way too often (and more for women than for men, who usually preserve their hobbies and fandom spaces) and i don’t think it’s a sign of maturing or being more of an adult. i honestly think it’s rather embarrassing.

[8housevenus]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ placements that feel like a fairytale ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

🧚pisces venus - "i've walked with you once upon a dream," such an exceptional place for venus and a very good lover. thoughtful and remembers little things about somebody. gives even when they have nothing. venus is exalted here, which strengthens the power of venus. rosed-colored glasses, natural lovers. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚neptune in 1st/2nd/7th/9th - 1st/ dreamy appearance, "i wish i could look like you," "i don't know if i wanna be you or be with you," wins people over, sometimes unaware of their influence, stands out in a room full of people. 2nd/ "you sound so sweet," delicate voices, gives the best compliments or receives unique compliments, gets money for no reason or gives money for no reason, very questionable kind of person but it is a likable feature about them. 7th/ unpredictable in love, "tag you're it," loves the chase and the longevity of a new/fresh relationship. people wish they could be with you or have had dreams/thoughts of pursuing you. sometimes people might drop many hints but never say. 9th/ super underrated, people feel elevated in your energy, you bring out a new lens to others, your ability to change and only get better overtime seems super unreal. the type to go mia and then randomly appear in a fancy italian restaurant with 1 million dollars and a rich spouse. they think it and it is, very big planners and attractive to the outside. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚sun in 5th/7th - 5th/ their love is their passion, and their self-expression is one that is bold and unique. this is your "entertainer," placement, understands the role they play in this life. courageous in their love and give an experience that one will never have again. 7th/ people-person, revolves around being open-minded and naturally attracting friends, partners, and even some enemies. a very commendable individual. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚libra/taurus rising - the symbols of beauty and allurance. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚cancer sun - exudes a tender warmth to others. "wifey material, mom friend, therapist," has probably heard it all. cancer sun has seen the vulnerability of everybody they have met, there's a strong trust here and their strength is undeniable. think of fairy godmother. has an emotional depth that allows others to easily fall for them. double points if it is a man with a cancer sun; women will admire this difference about you from other men. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚libra moon - pretty when you cry, everyone stops to hear you talk, such a mediating and magnetic energy, wears their heart on their sleeve and can empathize very well with others they have nothing in common with. all about fairness and equity, wants to be the peacekeeper in most situations. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚venus in 11th/2nd/7th - 11h/ friends will admire you and pick up on your aesthetic and can even try to "become" the same way. you make people feel really good and you are inspiring. 2nd/ you are well kept and seem orderly. soft voice, soft appearance, and loves to smother themselves and others with little gestures. 7th/ ideal partner placement, looking for love in everything they do, has very good connections and dazzles their flirt onto everybody they meet. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚personal planets in 4, 7, 12, 16, 19, 24, 27 degrees - these are libra, cancer, and pisces degrees, can amplify these placements by sprinkling on some of these signs qualities. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚neptune conjunct/ trine sun - dreamy-esque, can't keep you off my mind, is it love is it lust? naturally charming and independent. knows how they make others feel, giving others a sense of hope that makes them cling on forever. usually, the favorite boy or girl for somebody. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚venus conjunct moon/neptune - awareness to what relationships might require, or what other people want out of you. knows how to express themselves properly, can be sweet/seductive one minute, then manipulative/moody the next. likes to change up their style for their partner; very intimate and puts their partner's needs first. will be super feminine for their loved one. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚midheaven conjunt/trine/sextile neptune or venus - enhanced beauty in the public eye. people want to be around you and there's maybe some type of distance between you and your lovers- which makes relationships so much more intriguing. "i've got my eye on you." these people love makeup, jewelry, skin care, anything to appear ideal. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚virgo midheaven - seen as a damsel in distress sometimes; but they are elegant and reserved. they are the ones that people usually rely on and open up to the fastest. their fairytale qualities come from how they act rather than how they speak. they will make sure you are covered and will attract you with their practicality and realness. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚virgo venus - has a purified perception of love, very service oriented and even shy. they are slow and steady in terms of love language, however a virgo venus will always make sure their partner only gets the best. they want to make everything perfect for their significant other, which makes the virgo venus placement seem so admirable. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚cancer venus - soft, sweet, and giving. full of the feminine and embodies the nurturer archetype. magnetic to the opposite sex; babe magnet, and usually wear pastel colors or colors that are bright. they don't like to make themselves unknown to the idea of love. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚moon/neptune in 5th - has such a childlike approach to the world, very full of nostalgia and is deep-rooted in being memorable for others. oftentimes moon in 5th has a dramatized identity about themselves, which gives the fairytale vibes because it can feel almost surreal. neptune can also have this affect, neptune 5th might always get "i wish you were here," or "where's so and so," very memorable and such sweet and delicate impressions to the public. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚sun in 9th - would take their partners through all kinds of experiences, the kind of people to take you higher and change your mind-set on various subjects. very underrated placement and i find it quite fairy-tale like due to the fact that there's always some form of expansion for these individuals and you can see and feel their inner glow when they are in new environments. usually, can have foreigners or various kinds of people fall for them, they quite literally shine in new horizons. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

thank you for reading <3

[f1ora1f1owerswrites]

packing it up

–hi! this is officially my first tumblr fic, i thought of this when listening to “packing it up” by gracie abrams (i’m actually so obsessed with that song) and thought it really fit jake. i would love some feedback if you stop by for a read :-) warnings: jake seresin x reader. straight fluff. maybe slight angst if you really squint and tilt your head. she/her pronouns used. no use of y/n. probably grammatical errors :/.

Summary: Jake Seresin had always been the kind of guy who kept everyone at arm’s length, no matter how cocky or confident he came off as. He’d learned the hard way that getting too close meant eventually getting hurt. But when you walked into his life, everything changed. Maybe it was fate, maybe it was timing, but one thing was certain: you happened when he needed it the most.

Jake “Hangman” Seresin had always been fine on his own. Hell, he preferred it that way. He had his wings, his crew, and the endless rush of being a Top Gun pilot. It wasn’t that he didn’t want something more—it was just that life had a way of showing him that when things were going right, something was bound to go wrong.

So he kept his distance. He kept things casual, whether it was with women or friends. There was no need to get too attached when it always ended leaving him with nothing but disappointment.

But then you happened.

Jake didn’t believe in fate, not really. He’d always chalked up the little moments in life to coincidence, never willing to put too much stock into anything that couldn’t be explained by logic and reason. But the first time he saw you, that stubborn, independent look in your eyes as you stood sticking out like a sore thumb at the Hard Deck, he knew something had shifted.

You weren’t like the others. You didn’t need to impress anyone, didn’t care about what others thought of you. You were grounded, real. And that had unsettled him more than he cared to admit. You made him question everything he thought he knew about himself.

It had started slowly. “Accidentally” running into you on his way to the jukebox to play the same song for the third time that night (really just to be near you and the girlfriend you were with), the way you didn’t let him get away with his usual one-liners when he offered to buy you a drink. At first, Jake tried to keep it friendly, and nothing more. You were a civilian. His lifestyle was chaotic, unpredictable. He couldn’t promise you anything, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to pretend he could.

But every time you smiled, every time your eyes sparkled with something that wasn’t pity or curiosity, he felt his walls crumble just a little more. You didn’t need him to be perfect. You didn’t want him to fix his shit or his cocky behavior. You just wanted him.

And that scared the hell out of him.

It was a week before he was set out for a month-long mission. He had spent nights staring at the ceiling of his room, wondering what it would feel like to be somewhere stable, maybe even back in Texas. To be somewhere that didn’t cause the slightest of fear to bubble up. To be with someone who didn’t see him as just a flight suit or a handsome pilot.

That was when you called.

He picked up on the first ring, having a specific ringtone just for you, but he swore to himself that it was just a friendly thing to do. Nothing more.

“I was thinking about you,” you said, your voice familiar and warm, like a comfort he hadn’t realized he needed. “I thought maybe… you could come by? If you have the time before you leave?”

Jake hesitated. The thing with you was that you didn’t make demands. You didn’t chase. But he could hear it in your voice—an uncertainty that he’s never gotten from you. It made him pause.

And for the first time in months, Jake felt like he wasn’t running from something. He was running toward it.

He showed up, not because you asked, but because he needed to know what it felt like to have someone who cared. Someone who saw him for who he was underneath the persona he sometimes had a hard time losing.

That night, you had sat by the sand close to the Hard Deck. A place that had become common ground for the two of you. The air was cool, a slight breeze blanketing the two of you. Jake had never felt more at peace, and it terrified him. You were sitting so close, your shoulders brushing, but you weren’t rushing him. You didn’t pressure him to talk about the things he didn’t want to, and you didn’t pry into the past he so carefully guarded.

It wasn’t until you laughed at something he said—genuine and unforced—that something inside him broke. The walls. The distance. The shields he’d carried for so long.

“I wasn’t looking for anything,” Jake admitted suddenly, his voice low. “I didn’t want anything. I thought I was better off alone.”

You tilted your head, looking at him with those understanding, yet curious, eyes. ���And now?”

“Now,” Jake whispered, his heart racing for reasons he couldn’t explain, “I don’t think I want to be alone anymore.”

Things changed after that night. It wasn’t instant; it was slow, careful, like testing the water before jumping in. He wasn’t used to that. Jake didn’t do vulnerability, and you didn’t demand it. But with every conversation, every shared moment, you both let your guard down just a little more.

There were nights when Jake would wake up in the middle of the night, startled, only to find you lying next to him, breathing softly, looking so peaceful that it almost felt like a dream. It was new for him, having someone so close to him, a feeling that he wasn’t sure he was ready for. One that he found himself craving all the same.

One night, as the sun dipped low in the sky, the two of you found yourselves at the Hard Deck, one of the rare nights that the rest of the Dagger Squad wasn’t accompanying the two of you. It was quieter than usual.

Jake looked over at you, your laughter filling the space between the songs. There was a moment of stillness, a pause where he realized just how much he needed this. He needed you.

He was so damn close to packing it up and walking away from everything just to protect himself from the mess he was making, but then… you happened.

“I swear I wasn’t looking for someone,” Jake muttered under his breath, and you tilted your head, giving him that soft smile that made everything feel right.

“I wasn’t either,” you replied, taking his hand in yours, your fingers lacing together with a familiarity that made his chest ache.

“I’m glad we found each other anyway,” Jake said, his voice thick with the emotion he couldn’t quite put into words.

You leaned in closer, resting your head on his shoulder as the warmth of the bar surrounded you both. For once, Jake didn’t feel the need to run. He didn’t need to pretend. You were right there with him, steady and real, and that was enough.

“I hope we get everything we could ask for,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the hum of the room. “Even if it’s just… this. Right here.”

Jake smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I think we’re already there.”

And for the first time in a long time, Jake Seresin felt like he was finally home.

i hope you loved reading this as much as I loved writing it! it was a bit tricky for me at first, but I think I really love the way it came out! feedback always appreciated!

[nmakii]

How about yandere! Alastor (human) with a reader who ran away from him... Reader and Alastor are married out of obligation (because of the decade), but what no one counted on was that Alastor really fell in love and was obsessed with his wife, but the reader didn't ...because of work and his secret (that he killed people and devoured them) Alastor hardly spent time with the reader.. Reader then began to fall in love and have a secret relationship, without Alastor knowing.. . So even though reader didn't want to hurt Alastor, since she saw him as a friend (more than her husband), reader ran away with her lover and passion... Leaving behind a very angry Alastor... (reader doesn't know what Alastor It's true)... What would happen?

NO ONE’S BETTER THAN I AM

— the feeling of a fresh love— oh, how wonderful. you only wished that man would have been alastor, just so that he wouldn’t have hunt your true love.

— hey pals 🔥🔥!! i took manipulation tactics from my social studies class and mother gothel, did i do well? HAHAHA :]

being married to alastor, the radio show host is quite the sensation in your town. you grew to be quite a local celebrity, many women even attempting to befriend you to get closer with your husband.

although, because of your marriage, many assumed you were a woman of many talents and high intelligence. but, unfortunately… it appears as if you have the perfect life; beautiful home, wonderful husband, a comfortable life— and, while most of it is true, it is still very far from the truth. the sad truth of it all was that this was a marriage of convenience

it was the only thing that made sense. you and alastor were close in age, you were both still single, you refused to marry a man as old as your father, alastor simply wished to rid himself of the many women throwing themselves at him, and you were already quite close to him since your parents were close, it was the best-case scenario.

when both of your parents had learned of the news, that alastor proposed to you, they were more than delighted. alastor’s mom immediately welcomed you into the family as one of her own, and alastor had grown to be fond of your father.

in front of cameras and watching eyes, alastor played the role of a loving husband well; keeping you safe with an arm wrapped around your waist, giving you his coat in cold weather, and speaking nothing but lovely worship in your name.

you played the ‘doting wife’ role surprisingly well too. the only thing that was different was alastor didn’t stop the act when you were behind closed doors.

‘what if someone is spying on us, hm? they may reveal our little secret to the media!’ that was his excuse. and your reason to let him kiss you, hold you against his chest, and even join you as you bathe occasionally. it always felt weird though. to you, alastor was nothing more than a friend, even something like a brother. doing all these intimate and romantic things with him, it felt wrong.

and even despite all the intimacy, you still felt lonely. here in your large house, you felt lonely; cooking a dinner for two, eating as one, and always having to leave the pot simmering over the stove, so that it’s still warm for your husband. warm for him up until midnight, when he’d usually come home— sometimes even returning home later…

and, on these late nights, you’d remain sleepless. what could he be doing? his radio broadcast only lasts up until 9 in the night. could he possibly be engaging with a mistress of sorts? doing all kinds of scandalous things before returning to your bed, bringing your back close to his chest and resting his face on the nape of your neck.

although it was unlikely… considering how you always wake up to a love letter from alastor in place of where he should be in your bed, but nonetheless, it didn’t stop those thoughts.

eventually, life began to grow boring… chores day and night before going to sleep again— it was just a boring cycle that filled your life with despair and simply just making you miserable.

that is, until you met eugene. quite the handsome man, he may even be a model! you ran into him when he was in a luxury shop, inspecting various items for purchase.

his fuzzy eyebrows, his big brown eyes, and his charming and gorgeous american smile— it’s hard not to fall for such a man.

it started off so innocent; just meeting him to shop together, then it escalated into lunch together, and then that night…

alastor brought you to a club he frequented, and just by coincidence, eugene had been there with some of his high school friends. under the influence of alcohol, alastor had climbed up the stage and danced along. laughing at your silly husband, you pointed him out to eugene as well.

and, in that moment he turned you around and kissed you. you tensed, fearing the sudden infidelity; how media would cover this kind of news for months. oh wait… everyone’s wasted, aren’t they..?

your breath heaved in fear, eyes darting to your husband, not even glancing at you— that was when you melted into his kiss.

after that night, the two of you had made an agreement to rendezvous every now and then at your house while alastor was still busy as ever at ‘work’.

and as these meetings with eugene became more and more frequent, the two of you may have… fallen in love. despite that, you still felt guilty; cheating on your husband who has done nothing but be a gentle and loving provider, how could you repay him like this?

but, then again, it is simply a marriage of convenience… alastor doesn’t love you, he couldn’t possibly… the two of you are best friends! so, if you told him, would he mind?

still, you couldn’t possibly risk it. this isn’t a relationship that will last long if the two of you keep it a secret, you have to find a solution soon.

“run away with me.”

“what?! are you insane?!?” you frowned at your lover. “you need to get away from him, and you’re too scared to tell him, aren’t you? it’s the perfect solution.” he argued back.

“alastor… won’t accept it that easily… he’ll probably try to hunt us down, then take me back…” your nose scrunched in fear at the thought. “isn’t it worth the risk, my love?” he took your hand in his, placing a gentle kiss on your fingers. “ah, f…fine…”

a week later, that was when you decided to leave. you packed a suitcase filled with your belongings. honestly, it was not much. most of the things in the house were bought by alastor before he had married you.

you were just about to leave, your lover right outside the door with a getaway car, prepared to leave your life in new orleans behind when your husbands voice stopped you.

“going somewhere, my love?”

“alastor! w-what are you doing up?” you jumped, turning around to face him. “i’d like to ask the same thing, my sweet darling. why do you have a suitcase and a car waiting for you?” he grinned wide, tilting his head.

“ah— i was gonna go out of state for a surprise for you…” you lied, breath shaky. “were you now? was this surprise that i’d never see my beautiful wife ever again?” he scoffed, walking over to you and grabbing you by your chin.

“did you think i’d really be so ignorant as to not know when my own wife is sneaking out? especially to meet other men…” he raised an eyebrow. “alastor! t-this isn’t what you think it is…” you frowned, tears building up in your eyes.

“oh, my dear, how pretty you look when you cry…” he smiled, taking a finger to wipe your tears and putting his finger against his tongue. “fine then, leave your loving and sweet husband behind… just know that— i’ve already corrupted you for any other man to enjoy. no one will love a divorcee, will they?” he moved his hand to cup your cheek, gentle despite his harsh words.

“i’ll let you have your fun, darling. soon enough, you’ll realize that there is no man who can love you better than i can.” he pulled his hand away from you, moving to your hips and leaving a lasting kiss on your lips.

unlike how he usually is, this kiss was harsh, possessive, and brutal. so devoid of any love, it was a pure, unadulterated obsession.

“i know what is best for you, darling. i’ll see you home very soon.”

[uselesseaweedbrain]

Supercorptober - 15. Scotch

A strong smell of scotch permeates the air, and the usually put together CEO is slumped over her tabletop, head falling on her shoulder from exhaustion, eyes damp, her flawless black mane falling in messy strands of jet around her face.

“Lena?!”

“Hey. What news from the front?” Lena asks in a disinterested tone that Kara has never heard her use with her.

“Nothing yet.”

Lena tips her glass once again, wetting her lips with alcohol before looking up at Kara despondently.

“You know- you’re terrible at hiding things from me.”

Guilt lodges into Kara’s throat, and her confession is so low that Lena doesn’t even pick up on it. 

“Heh”, she mutters. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

Kara takes in a deep breath, her lungs tight as Lena stays silent. 

“I came to let you know that I’m not done. Not by a long shot. Until we know for sure, I will turn over every rock, and-“

Lena lifts a tired hand, her eyes welling with tears again. “Just- Just stop.”

Lena Luthor sounds miserable and defeated. Kara reels.

“You’re one of the strongest women I know, Lena! Why aren’t you fighting?”

“Because I did it! I did it.”

There’s finality in Lena’s tone, and Kara bristles.

Lena is so ready to believe in her own guilt, so ready to take the blame upon herself like a familiar blanket-

“There’s still a chance it wasn’t you.“

Lena is looking at her now, her blue-green dilated pupils fixed on Kara, and Kara can’t look away.  

“I know that you believe that everything is good, and kind, and that is one of the things that I love about you- but- that’s not the real world.”

Kara chuckles darkly - it’s funny that Lena thinks she knows her so well, when she couldn’t be further from the truth.

“You’re wrong.”

Lena scoffs.

“No- about- about me. You’re wrong. Believing in good, in kindness- it’s a fight, Lena, and if you think this comes naturally to me, you’re wrong, because-“

Lena’s gaze is still, on her, expectant, but Kara is frozen.

“Because I-“

Words burn like acid in her throat.

“Because I’m the one to blame”, she breathes out. 

Lena’s eyes widen even further. “No, Kara, I won’t let you do that. Stop. Just-”

Kara ignores the interruption, barreling on before she loses her nerve, before she goes back to being scared and silent and hiding while her friend bares her soul to her.

"When I pressed that button, and sent Mon El away- I didn't really hesitate. His life against countless others’, the decision was so clear-“

Kara pauses and fleers bitterly.

"Then Kal came, and said, full of awe and admiration" - Kara almost spits the last words out - " Kal said I was stronger than him."

A wet chuckle.

"He said if he'd been in my place, and it had been the woman he loved instead of Mon-El- he wouldn't have been able to do it."

“Kara, you- you didn't press the button. Supergirl did. I saw her."

An exhale. Then:

"Yeah."

Lena's face crumbles, and Kara buries her nails into her palm.

"That moment- that's when I realised how selfish I was. How self-important I could be, deluding myself into thinking I was a hero, while I had never had to wager what really mattered. Because, the truth is- the sole reason I could press that button was that it was only Mon-El. If it had been Alex- or if it had been-"

Kara cuts herself off.

"I wouldn't have been able to do it. And I don't think I deserve any praise for throwing Mon-El's life away, for scaling people's value in my head, or for playing God when I can barely decide my own fate."

"So, if anyone should be held accountable? It's me, Lena. And if we have to deal with the consequences of you saving everyone, again, and getting none of the credit and all of the blame- this time, we will shoulder that burden. Together.”

Tears are running freely over Lena's cheeks, and Kara reaches out hesitantly, Lena instinctively inclining her head towards Kara's extended palm.

Lena shivers when Kara's warm fingertips stroke her cheek, closes her eyes as Kara wipes her tears with her thumb and moves her hand to the mess of raven hair.

Lena's loose mane is smooth, like silk, and Kara's fingers scratch her scalp gently, rhythmically, erasing her frown and the downturn of her lips and a chunk of the guilt on her shoulders. 

Kara's other hand joins the first, massaging the crown of Lena's head, and Lena doesn't seem on the verge of breaking anymore.

Lena, who always holds all the power, Lena, who won't bow or beg even Supergirl, Lena, over-independent and self-assured, Lena, has surrendered to Kara's touch.

The veil has lifted, and Lena looks so young and so innocent and oh, has no one ever cared for her that way?

"Let me take you to bed", Kara whispers, gathering Lena in her arms gingerly, as if she's made of glass - solid and sturdy until it is hit too hard, and cracks and falls apart, all at once.

Lena's head lolls against her chest and presses against her clavicle, her loose strands tickling Kara's neck, and Kara breathes in a strange mix of scotch and Lena's perfume, hears the oh so familiar heartbeat, feels the feather-light weight of something precious in her arms, and- after all the destruction that they've wrought- is it unfair that Kara can suddenly breathe?

[genderqueerdykes]

I was reading through your replies to the lesbian who was explaining why they hated cis men, and I found you replies really insightful and well put. I've often had trouble articulating *why* man hating queer people is so frustrating and upsetting to me. I'd also love to add another point from my percpective to the conversation:

I've almost exclusively been sexually assaulted by women. The only time a man has ever done something that could be considered sexual assault to me was a situation I wouldn't consider sexual assault (more just, he did things in sex that I wasn't into and didn't like, felt more of a case of 'having bad, poorly communicated sex/kink' than anything else). I've also been told by people that I was quote unquote "lucky" for being sexually assaulted/harassed by a girl in my dorm room when I was fifteen (maybe sixteen? bad at time) because it wasn't a man. The worst transphobia, abuse and harassment I've been through has been from women. My ex was femme enby who was kinda man hating and they fucked me up badly. I still love women, as a queer sapphic who adores the people in my life rn women are still wonderful, but they aren't safer than men. In several ways I actually feel safer stuck alone in a room or at a bus stop at night with a man than a women. The fact people make spaces that are supposed to be queer but deeply hostile to men is so infurating bc they act like everyone has a right to 'be cautious of men because of bad experiences' and make spaces less open to queer men but no one would ever say that about my bad experiences with women. (and no I'm not usually in women's only spaces, the reason I've never been SAed by a man is not bc I'm not around men, I'm around men plenty)

Feel free to not answer ask if its too much, have a lovely day and thank you for talking about intersex issues, about the way gender essentialism and fear of men hurts people. I appreciate your blog greatly.

i really appreciate you sending this, thank you. i really cannot stop myself from talking about how man hating is fucking everything up because this experience is so important and it's being completely erased

i'm sorry you've gone through all of that. that's a lot to deal with, and it's an experience that doesn't deserve to be erased. pushing the thought that women are inherently safe to be around puts women who are assholes into a situation they're allowed to be mean as fuck to everyone else because "oh i'm traumatized from patriarchy". we all are. you're not special.

i have also been abused by women as well. my mom, sister, other family members, friends and exes have all abused me. i talk about it a lot, but one of the worst times in my life is when i lived in a queer punk house. i really thought it would be accepting, i thought i had found my people. there were a lot of trans girls who lived and stayed there and i got to know a lot of them because they found me cute.

whenever they would find out i'm also a trans man as well as genderqueer, these girls would clamor over each other to misgender me. i was ridiculed for not having a penis, being told that that's what makes a man a man. these girls would also brag about how they hated twinks, gay and bisexual men. they were proud to hate men, even the queer ones around them. there were so many pieces of trans art and things like estrogen bottles everywhere, but nothing transmasculine at all. even though transmascs showed up there often

it sucks that other queer people can sometimes be one of the most transphobic people you know. people have to start caring about how this affects people. women are not inherently safe to be around. men aren't inherently going to hurt you. we have to grow up past this mindset

[08melancholie]

I'm writing a Micah fic and I'm not satisfied with how I write him 💀 you have any tips?

This is a great question, and I can definitely find a few tips you can go off of that I usually memorise before I go ahead and write him. So first; lets section it off into five parts.

1. Micah's usual nature.

2. Behaviour I.—In camp.

3. Behaviour II.—Missions/outings.

4. Behaviour III. —Valu(able)s.

5. Language/the actual writing.

I'll go through every section and give you my tips and information that fits. Hopefully this helps your writing!

Most important highlighted/summarised in colour of section<3

1. Micah's usual nature.

First, let's break down Micah's character; he presents himself in a very cold, closed-off manner. He isn't that much of a helpful character, nor is he very social. In fact, Micah seems very asocial to me. You'll rarely find him socialising with camp members if he's sober, the only exception being when he drinks, where you'll find around 3-4 camp interactions (Javier, John, Bill, Arthur,...) in the game. He might come up to Arthur for a normal conversation a few times, but they mostly end in mockery or some sort of self-gain. You won't find Micah doing (re)quests for people, seeing as he's very focused on himself—excluding errands for Dutch since he's his boss. While on the topic of his nature in camp, lets continue this in "2. Behaviour I.—In camp".

2. Behaviour I.—In camp.

If he's actually found talking to fellow camp members that aren't Dutch, Micah enjoys antagonising any and all characters in the game. He throws crude comments and jokes people's way in his free time—which he clearly has a lot of, considering he doesn't ever do chores in camp, as confirmed in an interaction with Arthur where Micah says he "buys the clothes, not washes them". He also looks for ways to get under people's skin a lot. As for the women, there's quite a few interactions of him catcalling and harassing them, plain simple. He doesn't seem to care about being called a creep for it by Arthur either, as thats just entertainment for him.

3. Behaviour II.—Missions/outings.

Micah is very confident in how he works. He knows he's a great shot and one of Dutch's best gunmen, that much is sure to me. If he's doing better than Arthur, for example in "A Short Walk in a Pretty Town", he'll comment on it, saying "You're getting sloppy, Morgan." to him if he fails to get all four people in the gun store. You need to write him as such; keep his confidence in his abilities, and his subtle blood-thirst as well. Micah is much ruthless and somewhat of a brute, not to forget unforgiving and uncaring of his victims; killing Maddy, Norman's wife for.. little to no reason, as far as we know, or the little girl when you play as John later on in the game and are told so by Cleet in Strawberry. While on topic of Strawberry; massacring an entire town over two guns—another point that emphasises his self-worth. He killed and had Arthur kill off an entire town, despite much protest and complaints from Arthur about this choice. And yet he still didn't think much of that choice of action, laughing about it to Arthur after they stopped getting chased. Again—uncaring, ruthless, self-centred.

4. Behaviour III.—Valu(able)s.

This part is mostly useful for the start of a fic, since valu(able)s can change by the end of the story, and especially if you're writing a fix-it fic. We'll start with valuables, since Micah's are very simple; he values two things in his life over everything; his two custom-made DAs (Double Action revolvers) and his horse Baylock. We know he cares a lot about his guns, from the fact that he risked shooting up an entire town just to get them back when it would have been very simple to buy another set—this can be used to write an unhealthy attachment, or show vulnerability with risk of losing said weapons. Baylock is also pretty self-explanatory; he cares a lot about that horse, and IMO, he sees it as its best friend. With that, there's also one more thing that tethers between valuables and values; he doesn't want a future like many, a wife or family and stable life—those are mostly out of interest to Micah. His most important wish, at least Chapter 1—Chapter 6, is the future he wants for himself—a strong gang; "five to six strong men",as he says. This is his main goal in the game, and it'll be very valuable to him at the start. Then, come the values, and like many in 1899, he'll be very old-school; he wouldn't want women in his ideal vision of a gang, obviously. Micah sees them as beneath him and as too weak for the life—which is much obvious in the game... If you're writing a fanfic with F!Reader that's got the attitude of Sadie, I wouldn't instant make him jump for that type of woman. Micah expresses he's more into feminine women anyhow, so that's also important to remember when writing Micah/Reader fics.

5. Language/the actual writing.

Now, the way Micah speaks. He's very obviously and shamelessly open about how he talks—like I mentioned in the second section with the women; he'll openly harass them, uncaring of being reprimanded by Arthur for it. He's very vulgar and direct, so you won't see him hold back too often. Can't forget this part, of course—Micah has an accent like many characters, and I like to emphasise that by changing up the way some things are spelled; "you" turns into "'ya", "and" into "an'" and such, little changes that let the reader know how they should be reading the words said by the character, especially good if someone doesn't yet know who Micah is and your fic is their first impression, they can immediately assume an accent.

As a tip here, I'm gonna try and put a few grammatical details I usually keep in mind when writing my texts.

Verbs I.: if it ends in "-ing", leave out the 'g' and add an ' at the end.

For example: "Well, safe to say she's changin' her ways."

Verbs II.: If they don't end with "-ing", like with words that aren't in the present for example (and irregular verbs), I look for ways to change them which I then memorise for the future.

For example I.: "It just burns a little, 's all." —> "is"

For example II.: "She's just wen' and gone!" —> "went"

"You, you're, your": The change here is very obvious, and the only warning I have is for for using "you're" and "your"; the change is the same, so if you have both in one sentence, only change one.

For example I.: "But he said 'ya didn't like the gift?"

For example II.: "How?! I know yer supposed to be gone!"

For example III.: "You know yer left shoelace is undone?"

These are a few of my tips, and I'm hoping that they'll be helpful to you—and anyone else that is looking to write Micah. Thank you for the lovely ask, and as always, good luck! <3

friend wanted to be tagged: @angel-w1ngsss

[f1ghtsoftly]

my head is scrambled but in Kate Manne’s “The Logic Of Misogyny” she put to words something I always, always knew was true.

Most of the time Men don’t hurt women for no reason, they punish women who assert themselves/their personhood. Misogynistic violence is a punishment, it’s a form of conditioning to get women to behave submissively towards men. To punish women for existing in public without male protection. To punish women for daring to think her intellect, athletic or artistic achievement could come before her sex.

I don’t present super femme anymore or hang around men outside my family basically ever-but when I did I was frequently targeted for sexual assault, usually by men who were frustrated they were attracted to me but couldn’t have me. They felt like I was taunting them-but asserting my right to exist as someone they were attracted to/without any sort of male protection or a male protection that didn’t involve sexual favors/submission. That wasn’t an accident, I’m sure if I meekly cowered behind a big boyfriend, I’m sure if I stayed inside, I’m sure if I didn’t assert myself as extraverted, intelligent, funny or charismatic those men would have left me alone-but that would have meant hiding myself from the world, hiding myself from other women and to me that was a bigger loss than a ‘lil danger. I made choices as a young person that I knew with certainty would bring me in closer proximity to men who wanted to hurt me, I decided that living a freer life was better than living a safe one. I don’t necessarily regret my assessment of patriarchy, I am sad that the price you pay for being an independent woman (in a social sense) in public is assault. I don’t blame women who think their safety is more important than making a statement. I’m sad for us both. I’m grateful I was able to find feminist communities because victimization isn’t just something casual you can shake off, even if it feels like men constantly target you/women in general.

Assault doesn’t just roll of your back either. It hurts. In the moment and for years afterwards it hurts. It’s always senseless. Always dehumanizing to the extreme. Always enraging. Always profoundly violating. Always a shock. I struggle to reconcile what I know about rape with what I know about people. I know people can be cruel, unthinking, insecure. I don’t know how someone can plot the rape of a friend or a stranger who has done nothing to deserve it. I don’t know how men can secretly tape their lovers, manipulate a young woman into sex she doesn’t want or do any of the things men do consistently or routinely. I don’t know how a boy could look at the face of his too drunk friend and go “this is my opportunity to have my way with her” instead of putting her to bed. Carelessness, thoughtless is easy to imagine. Conscious cruelty is not. Men know what they do and they either don’t care or like it.

I’m crying in a park in my Dad’s pickup truck. “There are worse things than this, you didn’t die-you’re alive” He says “this wasn’t your fault, I just want to keep you safe and what happened to you isn’t something I can control even though I wish I could”. “I’d feel better if you lived in Austin, because their self defense laws are better, there are lots of gay people there too”

He makes me laugh. I won’t move to Texas. He’s right, it’s not my fault, and helping me get better at self defense helps him feel like he can do something and while self defense does help-it’s not a perfect strategy. The misogynist’s prerogative is to snuff out the life force of the woman he interacts with, the only way to stop him from trying to do that is to become apart of the living dead. Even then, he’ll get your corpse.

There are worse things than rape in this life. A woman alive is better than a woman dead. I guess, but what life is it when constantly forced to battle for your right to live? When at a moments notice you can be filled from the inside out with death. Rotted from your insides out. I wish New York would let me have a gun. I wish I could make men afraid and polite in my presence the way I feel afraid and polite in theirs. I’m so tired of this.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Major Blog Update: Inbox Cleared, Life Updates, a big thank you and More!

First of all the big one:

The deed is done...The Inbox is dead.

Long live the inbox.

To get a fresh start, I've deleted the current inbox of all my asks.

The inbox memes, the nightmares...they're finally over...

ANYWAYS, feel free to send in any request you may have as per usual, just figured I clear that damn thing finally out considering I've had asks that are three years old in there.

Right now I'm really getting into Honkai: Star Rail since Natlan kinda killed my enjoyment of Genshin, but those gals I will still love and write for (I mean, I'm sure as heck not changing the blog url) so don't feel discouraged if you came to this blog because of my Genshin content. And of course my other fandoms are still good to rock and roll!

One last thing before the cut:

I want to thank EVERY ONE of you for following this blog and sticking around with my goofy ah for so long.

I genuinely get excited to read any message or request you put under my posts or inbox, whether it be feedback or joking around! And I know we have the memes going on about me being drowned, please know I do genuinely take the time to look at every single one that comes in everyday, even if I didn't say anything or respond. And it means the world to me that ya'll like my writing enough to continue asking of me.

You all are the reason I even put the effort I do in this blog for so many years, from my newer followers to those who have followed me since my first blog. I could not ask for a better group than ya'll.

From the bottom of my heart, thanks, and let's have a great year together!

ANYWHO: For those who care enough, this is what's been going on with me for the last few months.

Work:

As for why I've been absent for a while: simply put because I work a retail job. Thankfully nothing too bad, it's just normal scheduling and it IS work I very much enjoy and get paid relatively well. My love for writing is still very strong as is my simping, so no worries, I don't plan on going anywhere.

I DO greatly apologize for making everyone wait for literally ANYTHING, doubly so if you had an ask I didn't get to yet. I wanted to honestly save everything into my drafts, but alas I could only choose some select ones.

You're more than welcome to send it back in, and since things have calmed down I SHOULD be getting to them a lot faster.

Genshin:

In regards to what I said earlier about Genshin: Natlan kind of killed any enjoyment I had playing, characters were REALLY unappealing to me, it made my friends stop playing so therefore I stopped as well as that was the major reason I still had it installed. I don't really plan on adding anyone from Natlan or anyone else from that game in the future, so apologies if you were looking forward to that from me specifically.

Star Rail has been filling the hole in my heart and honestly? I have a lot more writing freedom writing the gals from there, but again, don't feel afraid to send me any genshin request! I still simp for my Mondstadt women after all.

Other things I've been doing/Ideas for the blog:

I've also been playing games (and getting distracted) with my irl friends and trying to catch up on my hobbies to prevent myself from burning out, Minecraft has been a big thing lately for me again: specifically Pixelmon LMAO.

For 2025 though, I plan to at least post an imagine once a week starting next week since things are still settling down and I have to get my work schedule.

I might also start posting (Eventually) my personal writing projects here to get feedback and possibly go to AO3 to post my crossover series since Tumblr isn't really the place to be doing so (Chief among them my FE3H AU: House Isekai), or if demand is high enough I'll post it here.

Oh, and with this major update I have once again updated my banner, not that it's really important, just that I put a good amount of effort in it, more than you'd think for how simple it is. I also want to see if anyone even gets my reference LMAO

Once this post goes live, I plan to add a few new characters, starting with the Commander from Girls' Frontline but we'll see how it goes.

I think that's all I got for right now, so see ya soon guys!

- Chris

[anymoon19]

how they met

I brought you a story that I made a while ago and I really wanted to share, I hope you like it and my requests are open

⸻⸻⸻꧁❤❤❤❤꧂⸺⸺⸺⸺

I saw that Vi always felt something for you, even if she couldn't name what it was. Whether it was wanting to get your attention, finding excuses to touch you, or even hugging you for no reason.

But when she saw two women together, romantically speaking, she realized it was the same way you treated each other. The affection, the attention, and the looks. That's when Vi realized she was hopelessly in love with you.

Vi wasn't usually affectionate, only with Vander or Powder, and that was just because they were family.

You met when she was 15 years old, and since then, you never parted ways. You always found her beautiful, that rough and authoritative demeanor always attracted you, and over time, Vi began to notice it too.

That's when the flirting started, initially simple compliments, hands on shoulders or hips. But it evolved, what used to be a simple hand on the hip turned into a constant hand on your waist or the back pocket of your pants, the innocent compliments turned into increasingly bold and direct pick-up lines, the light hugs turned into long minutes of her holding you in her arms or keeping you close.

At first, it intimidated you because, even though you liked her, Vi was still intimidating and brave, and you weren't used to that kind of attention.

Even though Vi was sure of her own feelings, she wasn't sure about yours, heck, she didn't even know if you liked women. She decided to observe you, spend more time with you, even if sometimes Powder got in the way a bit.

A few weeks before that night, Vi had confessed her feelings to you, she couldn't stand not having you to herself anymore and decided to take a chance.

It was perfect, your relationship had never been better, the kisses you shared, the hugs you gave, and the love you felt were out of this world. Vi had never felt anything so intense in her life, and being with you like that seemed like a dream she never wanted to wake up from.

When everything went wrong, all your friends died, and Vi had disappeared, your world fell apart. You had begged her so much to forget that, and now you had lost her, your heart was shattered, and seeing what Powder was becoming only made the situation worse. In one of the attempts to make Powder, now Jinx, return to normal, you almost ended up dead from a fit of your former friend. Taking shelter with Ekko in his base, you decided to focus on caring for the wounded and warriors instead of going on missions.

Eight years had passed, and even while distracting yourself, you still found yourself thinking about Vi. What you felt for her you would never feel for anyone else, and the thought that you never would again bothered you. You often speculated where she could be. Unlike the others, her body was never found. The thought that she might have escaped and left you bothered your subconscious, but you quickly corrected yourself. Vi would never abandon you, never abandon Powder. But as each day, week, month, and year passed, that thought solidified in your mind, making you wish she had died in the accident rather than thinking she had left you.

However, when you saw her, standing right in front of you next to a Piltover officer, your world stopped. She was taller than you remembered and more muscular too. Aside from the new tattoos and haircut, she was the same Vi you remembered. Your body started trembling when she turned to you and froze in place, those beautiful blue eyes looking at you with guilt and longing, making the hurt in your chest grow.

You slowly approached, afraid she might disappear with a simple breath. Vi stood there, immobilized, waiting for some action or move from you. As you got close enough, you slapped her face, making her head turn to the side, and her cheek turned red.

"Why did you do this? Why did you abandon us?" Tears were falling from your eyes as you spoke those words, cutting your throat like glass and burning your insides with anger and resentment.

"I didn't abandon you," she whispered, finally looking into your eyes, letting her own tears form.

This reaction was far from what Vi expected from you, not due to your gentle and loving nature, of course. She didn't expect everything to go back to how it was before, but still, she thought at least you would welcome her with the love you once had.

"Lies!" you shouted with tears streaming down your face, "You left, you left me..." covering your face, "Why did you do this?"

Your words broke Vi's heart. Seeing you like this was like a stab in the chest. "I didn't want to leave, but I couldn't stop it..." she allowed herself to cry, making everyone around look shocked. "They caught me, S/n, they threw me in prison for the theft we committed before all this happened." Vi approached, lifting your face to her. "Not a single day went by without me dreaming of coming back home, back to you, thinking that when I finally had you, everything was taken from me."

The anger dissipated, giving way to a painful longing. You collapsed into Vi's arms, crying loudly against her chest, feeling her arms tighten around you. All the pain, longing, and nostalgia were in that hug. Your sobs were muffled by Vi's jacket as she hid her face in your hair, the tears streaming silently down her face as she tightened her embrace to the point of pain.

"I'm so sorry," Vi whispered repeatedly in your ear, sobbing quietly while holding you in her arms.

You stayed like that for a while, not knowing if it was hours or minutes, just wanting to stay in each other's arms and try to make up for the time that was taken from you.

When you separated, Caitlyn approached to check if you were okay. She introduced herself and explained her relationship with Vi and was happy to meet you.

It was difficult, but you both managed to establish yourselves. After all, your love had never faded, and the time you spent apart only intensified that feeling. It wasn't perfect, because nothing is perfect, but you loved each other and were willing to make the relationship work.

[deesseshesca]

PAC 18+: How can you spice up your sex life with your s/o?

Now let's bring it up a notch...

Good evening, pretty souls, today I'm diving under the cover of y'all relationship to keep up with your panties/boxer.

FLASH SALE

For the next 2 weeks all readings on my ko-fi is 20$, only 

Rules and Disclaimer 

I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is sent with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else. 

MINOR DON'T INTERACT WITH THIS POST 

MINOR DON’T READ THIS POST 

TW: Sexual abuse, DV

Basing myself on the legal age in my country which is 18 

PILE 1 

4 wands, 5 swords, 3 swords, 9 swords, ‘’I’m going through a lot right now, I need some space & time to gather my thoughts !’’ 

Mutual masturbation 

Edging 

Overstimulation

💌 Your partner don't feel appreciated enough in the bedroom. They feel like u are comparing them to your past lovers. If not, they feel like they don't compare. On your side you are tired of their toxic behavior. They are not toxic is just that they are stuck in bad habits. Which is stopping y'all from evolving as a couple. You are not satisfy emotionally, they are not satisfy physically. Anyway Pile 1, if you need any advice on how to deal with situation, you can always book a reading on my Ko-fi, link down below. Especially now that they are on sales for only 20$. (Link at the end of the post)

Much love, Shesca

PILE 2 

2 pentacles, 2 swords, 4 wands, 5 wands, ‘’I look at my phone everyday hoping I would see a message from you’’ 

Cuddlefuck 

No foreplay 

Voyeurism  

Femdom 

💌I think your partner is usually the one in control. Y'all usually have some hardcore sex or even BDSM. There's a clear difference between a sub and dom energy down to even the look. One of y'all is real petite. You are probably part of the itty bitty community or you dick may be on the smaller side. Y'all are very delicate and graceful being. While he is all tall and buff or she is very curvy and way taller than u. If you initiate with a bratty attitude instead of being your docile self, is going to fire up the spark between y'all. Are y'all going camping trip or on a trip abroad with friend ? You should run your hand up and down his dick while y'all look at a movie in the living room, if they are a women, maybe play with their tits. Or when y'all back in the tent, you should initiate something knowing damm well is hella risky. It's going to excited them and finally give them a reason to do all the punishments they dream to apply on u. Since u been a good girl/boy (is not me...is them ), they only fantasy is about punishing you. Anyway if you guys need any advice how to make it happen, you can always book a reading on my Ko-fi, especially now that's only 20$ (Link at the end of the post)

Much love, Shesca

PILE 3 

Judgment, 5 swords, Page wands, 8 cups 

Check in : Babes, I'm sorry for the fuck up things you been through. You guys have a lot of sexual trauma. You spend your whole in poverty until you made the decision to become an escort or stripper. Which only added to the trauma. Some of y'all been in abusive relationship or all you life you felt like the only way someone will stay with you would be for sex. So you felt obligated to give some. But now you are in healthy relationship. The life you have now is a complete 360 of your past. Stay at home wife in the sunburn, spending most of your weekend supporting your kids hobbies. Nobody would even the guess how hard it was for you to get this peaceful life.

Dirty talk 

Nudist Event 

Power play 

💌 Now girl/boy... what's going ? Why are only serving same old missionary with the men/women you love. I can feel how deeply you love them. So you are completely comfortable around them. Yet no split on dick or feasting on the clit. No crazy lingerie. No lap dancing. No nothing. I don't know much about life but I think when u are married you can defiantly match the freak. Talk nasty to him/her, giving him/her a VIP experience and they will go crazy. Send them nasty pic, girl/boy you have all the power to spice things up. Anyway Pile 3, if you need help on tapping back into your sexual self in more healthy manner, you can always book a reading on my Ko-fi for only 20$.(Link at the end of the post)

Much love, Shesca.

7 wands, Page cups, 9 wands, 7 cups,’’Karmic partner interference’’, ‘’I’m ready to come clean ! I can’t lose you again !’’ 

Food 

Jealousy/possessiveness

Communication 

💌 You are married to someone you don't know anymore. If you know One tree hill (the best TV show in the word), y'all make me think of Quinn and her relationship with her ex-husband David. They were a time, the person on your side was loving and emotionally available. Now he is crazy about profit and barely spend time in the same room as you. Than there's him/her. They know they can treat u better than your husband/wife and is pissing them off the way things are . They dream of licking wiped cream of your nipple, ever since they saw in that sundress at the pool party or when you do your daily run with no shirt on. Anyways Pile 4, I know you are going to figure it all out but if you want insight from your spiritual team regarding this whole mess, you always book a ready on my Ko-fi. Especially now, they are only 20$. (Link at the end of the post)

Much love, Shesca.

[goddessofwaifus]

Honestly, how shinichiro managed to worm his way into my heart still surprises me...

He deserves love too! Nobody is "normal" by any standard so how does such a cute weirdo like him get rejected 20 times?! Whatever if none of the girls who rejected him want him, I guess that means no competition for being his one and only 😏 This one is for my shinichiro lovers!!! He may be a loser but he can get a w while being a lovable dork. If takemichi can get bitches, then it shouldn't be out of the question that the same can apply for Shin!

Premise- You're walking in the usual crowded halls and there you bump into the boy who every girl gossips about at school. He's weird, he doesn't know how to talk to women, he's been rejected 20 times... Wait what? How does that happen?!

The only real thing I should note for this little fic is that you and Wakasa are familiar with one another. The relationship can be familial or platonic. Might give some background in a follow up part if anyone is interested in exploring that aspect in detail. Reader,as usual,is gender neutral for inclusion of all who read.

Lose to win

Shinichiro Sano x Reader

How many dates would you go on with this guy? Honest answer for the shinichiro simps out there, I know you're out there!

Personally, I'd go on however many dates he wants. If none of those girls want him, I'll take him myself 🙄 their loss

Honestly school is shit. Especially when you're the subject of gossip and your friends have better luck with pulling than you. That was the case for Shinichiro Sano. Poor guy had been rejected 20 times, he was about ready to give up and just fully dedicate himself to the gang life with his love for bikes. Walking down the hall with him were his friends Wakasa Imaushi, Takeomi Akashi, and Keizo Arashi (Benkei).

"Honestly Shin, I'm starting to worry about ya bud. You are just woman repellant, I feel so sorry for you."

"Maybe his charisma just doesn't work on girls? You really need to stop letting your intrusive thoughts win, man... Girls avoid you like the plague and I don't need you scarin' off the bad bitch I snagged this week..."

"You'll find someone eventually. Girls are picky. If it doesn't work out, who knows? Maybe datin' ain't it for you. If not, you got us! We can go out and kick some ass! Cheer up man!"

Shinichiro gave a small smile to Benkei 's attempt to lighten the mood. He gave a frown to Waka and Takeomi, feeling the white-haired boy give him a light punch to his arm with a chuckle. Some friends they are, he joked until he felt an impact with his chest that prompted him to stop with his friends pausing as well. You had bumped into him on your way to class and bowed your head, embarrassed for getting in his way.

"Sorry... I wasn't watching where I was going. I didn't mean to bump into you! I'll get out of your way... Sorry for the inconvenience. I'll-"

"No no you're fine! This hallway is pretty crowded so it was inevitable for this to happen."

Shinichiro laughed, rubbing the back of his neck while his friends looked down at you. You were going to move aside and continue your trip to your classroom when Wakasa spoke to you.

"Yo y/n, before we let you go off to class, I got a question for ya. You got a type?"

The question was completely out of left field so it flustered you a bit. What kind of question was that? Wakasa is prone to asking odd questions, sometimes to perform his own personal social experiments among other students or simply for his own personal reasons. Maybe to try and see what kind of person they are? You'll never know, Waka has always been aloof and a bit mysterious in your time of knowing him. You shrug and figure maybe this was a test of his, so you'll bite.

"In partners? I guess it doesn't really matter as long as they're not an absolute dickhead or douchebag just looking for some ass. I can't stand people like that..."

You trailed off as you had glanced up at Shinichiro who looked like he wanted to be swallowed up by the floor beneath him. You slowly put the pieces together as you remembered overhearing girls giggling and laughing or gagging in over exaggerated disgust about some boy named Shinichiro who had supposedly asked them out, but they either blew him off or he somehow screwed up his chance by saying something weird that creeped them out/ turned them off from pursuing anything with semblance to a date. You then glanced over to Wakasa as you were now curious to see where he was going with the question now answered.

"You've probably heard around the hallways, but this guy has had an unlucky streak with the ladies. Unlike everyone else, you're one of the nice ones here on campus. You can probably see where I'm going with this."

You nodded, looking back at the embarrassed delinquent busying his gaze with the floor to avoid looking at his friend who was smirking slightly at the response. A gentle tilt of the chin upwards was almost enough to put the boy into cardiac arrest as he instinctively swallowed against your hold. His charcoal eyes meet your (e/c) ones in hesitation,you can see the anxiety building behind them. He watched your lips as you spoke your next words, his ears at attention.

"Shinichiro Sano. 20 rejections? What did you do to scare them off?"

"Too honest and open."

"Speaks before he thinks."

"Being himself is apparently the worst advice to give him..."

You weren't expecting the three boys to list every fuck up the guy made for every girl he potentially had interest in. You almost felt bad for his string of bad luck, but you figured Waka chose you for the most obvious reason.

You didn't have the best track record with dating either. Although you don't like to admit it, you can sympathize with the guy. Girls, as a joke or genuinely, have warned/told you not to get involved with Shinichiro. Social suicide they said, you'll never be able to eat with the little friends or acquaintances you have due to associating with the weirdo, he's not worth it, and so many other disheartening things they spewed from their mouths.

Who were they to tell you not to give the guy a chance? Half of the girls spouting that crap are either dating his friends, fucking with them, or haven't gone out with the guy and are simply regurgitating what everyone else is saying so they don't get the side-eyed by the ones who started spreading the information around. Some say he's bad in bed, others say he's not loyal, one girl said she couldn't stand the smell of smoke from his cigarettes, another said he's impulsive, and so on. They all had something to say about him, never positive things. You would decide, not them. You had a mind of your own and you could tell a person's intentions based on their behavior.

So what if he's bad in bed? Sex ain't everything in a relationship after all.

Most of the girls couldn't say anything about being unfaithful to their lovers when the hypocrisy in their words couldn't have been any louder.

You honestly couldn't say anything about the cigarette smell, but he should quit while his lungs are still healthy and taking in oxygen as they should. The smell is an easy fix, just spritz cologne lightly and it should overpower the nicotine. Some girls don't mind the smell or taste.

As for the impulsive part, that comes with being a teenager. Hormones play a part as well as other factors. You were a bit impulsive yourself so maybe every now and then you say something wild or out of turn that would have the class eyeing you like hawks and wishing you could vanish right then and there in the moment. Perfectly natural for both men, women, and those in between. Nothing new, nothing bad.

Half of the things they listed weren't heinous or anything worth slandering his name for. If not to put these stupid rumors to rest, then just to satisfy your buzzing questions and learn more about the boy who supposedly repels girls away instead of attracting. You don't know what the fuss is about, he's a good looking guy and from the times you've passed by him and his friends, he's a pretty chill and easygoing person. He's never caused trouble, his grades are decent, has no problem with making friends, and you wouldn't assume he's the type of guy who goes around beating up other students to assert his dominance and show off his strength. Shinichiro Sano seems like your average guy who might,one day, work as a mechanic.

"You're L/n-san, right? Y/N? Y-you don't have to if you don't want to... I wouldn't want to waste your time or bring down your reputation by asking you out. I'd only cause problems for you and the guilt would eat at me..."

"What are you talking about? What reputation? I'm not losing anything from going out with you. If anything, I think I wanna be the first girl to ask you out for a date~ If that's alright with you."

You stopped his train of thought right then and there, a smile he swore took the breath from his lungs and made his heart thump hard enough to nearly trigger a panic in him. You asking him ,out of all the guys at school, on a date? He swears up and down his face has never been so hot and red like a cherry tomato before. The smugness of his best friends couldn't have been so loud and visible to the raven-haired delinquent.

It's a big deal because, while you aren't picky about who you date and go out with, you still have standards and on top of that, major trust issues as a result of relationships that have crashed and burned for many reasons you don't want to think about or remember right now.

"Is it cool if I join you guys for lunch period? For once, I don't wanna eat by myself like I usually do. Maybe I can also get to know the gossip topic himself better so I have a better read of him. I have a fairly good idea of who he is,but I wanna hear it from his mouth for myself."

"Y-yeah! It's perfectly fine for you to hang with us! T-the more the merrier right?"

He can't get any cuter or be more of a dork, you thought to yourself with a soft smile. The boys walked you to class and you breezed through most of the lectures with ease. Before you can even squeeze in a little nap, it's lunchtime and unlucky for you, you completely forgot to make yourself lunch this morning before you took off towards the school grounds. You sighed in disappointment,trudging to the roof as you also didn't have enough money for even a little snack to suffice. All you brought with you on the way up was your sketchbook for doodling while you ate, but maybe today was looking up for you.

"Hey. You made it...Did you forget to make yourself lunch before you went to bed again last night?"

The look on your face gave Wakasa his answer, he chuckled as Shinichiro had been telling Benkei that he was saving the extra bento he made to hopefully give to someone (preferably someone who was a good cook) as a taste tester for his cooking. Ever since his little brother and sister started teasing him about being a bad cook, he had become determined to improve his culinary skills in the kitchen to get his rotten little siblings off his back and prove he was a good cook. The lunch he made tasted fine to him, however a second opinion was needed due to his taste being an "unreliable source" to his siblings and grandfather. No more takeout, he would learn to cook for them. Plus, it makes good practice.

"Alright, what idea kept you up this time? I'm assumin' ya jotted it down in your handy sketchbook so let me have a look and see."

While Benkei was distracted by whatever you had stayed up late to work on instead of getting your precious sleep, Takeomi saw the extra lunch Shinichiro made as a perfect opening for the two of you. He nudged their leader and nodded his head over to you to signal him into seizing the golden opportunity to learn more about you. The messy haired bundle of nerves that was Shinichiro gave a subtle nod to his friend's encouragement, sighing deeply as Wakasa sat on one side of you and Benkei sat by Takeomi. You and Shinichiro were sat in the middle as the five of you sat against the fence walls along the school rooftop, Waka seeming to get the same idea that Takeomi had when he remembered the extra bento his friend was holding onto.

"Uh hey Y/n? So I've gotten into cooking recently on account of wanting to get better at it for my lil siblings and grandpa. S-since you forgot to make lunch for today, I figured maybe you could try the extra one I made and have that if you like it. If it's cool with you, I wanna see what you were working on last night too in exchange. If you're not cool with that, I'll still give you the lunch either way!"

You nodded, a bit nervous about showing him the doodles and pieces you scribbled away in the confines of your sketchbook, but you figured it wouldn't hurt for him to see. You didn't think you were the best artist and admittedly didn't think you were good at cooking to really be a good judge of taste testing. Wakasa would shut down any and all belittling of your skills, be your number one cheerleader, and encourage you to pursue your hobby. If you didn't think you were the best cook, shut up. How dare you call his friend a bad cook? He should have you cook something for him and he'll judge it for himself.

Shinichiro traded you the lunch for your sketchbook under the single condition that he didn't laugh and make fun of what you worked on until 2 in the morning before finally falling asleep upon satisfaction of your finished product. Let it be known that you rarely show anyone your work on account of being laughed at and/or bullied for the subject matter of your pieces. You were an anime fan, you liked to watch anime at night and often imagined scenarios between you and your favorite characters from the media, if inspiration struck (more often than not as you're getting ready to go to bed) you would draw said idea in your sketchbook, erasing and redrawing line after line until it looked exactly like your daydream or was close enough to it.

Watching with held breath as the charcoal eyes of Shin glided across the page where your latest piece from the night before sat. He admired each line you drew, the expressions, poses, no space on the filled canvas was left untouched by the observant eyesight of the gang leader. You were so worried about what he thought about your artwork that you hadn't touched the lunch he gave to you. What did he think of the doodles you made? Was he gonna laugh at you too? So many questions flow into your mind, filling your stomach with dread and slowly regretting handing over your sketches.

"I recognize this character! I've seen the anime before, but I can't remember the name. God... What's it called? Oh! A/n (Anime/name)! It was really good!"

"You've seen that anime? Y-you watch anime? I didn't think you were the type to be into that."

"Well, I remember reading the manga for it and thinking 'what's the anime like?' so I watched it and I got invested! This art is really cool! I like the way you drew them, is this your character in the anime? They look really nice."

You smiled, nodding as Shinichiro didn't need you to tell him what was what. He did notice you hadn't touched the lunch he made yet, he looked through the other pages before he was satisfied with taking in your work and committing it to his memory.

Eventually, you opened the bento and found delicious food inside,wafting to your nostrils and making you salivate from the aroma. Shinichiro watched you drool over what he cooked this morning,pride blooming in his chest at the sense of accomplishment but he needed to know if you would eat it. He needed you to take a bite and give him your thoughts on how it came out. Now you were the one being observed closely with bated breath by Shinichiro as you thanked him for the food, bringing a portion up to your lips taking a bite of what you grabbed. The flavor made you tear up with a smile, chewing thoughtfully to savor the taste in your mouth.

You won't forget the looks on their faces as Wakasa cackled from the range of emotion in his friends in response to what you said about Shinichiro and his food. Shinichiro was redder than a strawberry and trying to cover his face, Benkei nearly spit out his food from how wild your response to the food was, and Takeomi was just as flabbergasted if not in utter disbelief at what came out of your mouth. Once Wakasa could breathe somewhat and finally wipe the laugh tears from his lavender eyes, all the snow haired boy had to say was:

"I told you you weren't the only one who blurts out weird shit on impulse! I tooold you!!!"

You hadn't even realized what you said until you saw Shin turn into a tomato with his coal eyes wide open in shock and other things in the mix. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't flattered by the comment on his cooking. It meant he was improving and his practice was starting to pay off. Did you really love what he cooked that much? If so, he'd make a personal note to try and cook more for you in the future. Maybe he could even taste your cooking one day if the date was still gonna happen and it went well. The date was still on and you'd make sure it was fun for the both of you. This date would be the best one that you and Shinichiro had ever been on.

"Ready to go?"

You gave Shinichiro a nod, looking forward to how this date would pan out. Even if the date didn't go well, you would give him the opportunity to take you on another one to make up for it. The two of you had fun riding around together, watching the world pass by as you were behind him on the bike. He'd check on you every few minutes to make sure you were okay, slow down if he felt you were nervous about the speed he was going, he was very accommodating and that alone made the afternoon all the more enjoyable for you.

Shinichiro took you to the movie theater, you had tickets but wouldn't tell him what movie you were seeing. You wanted it to be a surprise,and you had good seats in the back with a perfect view of the screen as long as no one blocked it in the middle row. You two had all kinds of snacks and the best part about this theater was the security doing their job to ensure the watchers had a good time which meant they made sure everyone turned off their phones or put them on silent. If they didn't, well they would "mysteriously lose signal" on their phones and would be forced to go outside to get better reception. If they brought noisy kids, quiet them down or leave. If you stepped out of the viewing room for any other reason besides going to the bathroom or getting more snacks for the movie, you weren't allowed back inside to avoid disrupting the movie for everyone else.

If the adults who were disregarding the viewing room rules of turning off their phones brought kids, the children would have to leave with the parents or whomever the adult in attendance was. They were serious about their jobs and they too respect the rules of the viewing rooms. You had gotten mildly annoyed because as the movie was getting good, that's when the wailing of upset babies, ringing phones, and loud talking began.

Unbeknownst to either of you, Wakasa happened to be in the watch room with the two of you, acting as the discreet wing man once he spotted you both on the way in. Waka did his part and helped jam the signals of any moviegoers who were on the phone when they shouldn't have been. Many complaints followed by irritated teens and adults alike exited the theater to get better reception to their dropped calls or messages they couldn't send, falling into the trap of being kicked out via signal jammers. If they came with kids, the kids would be escorted to their families to avoid the risk of leaving them unsupervised. It's not like they would be allowed to come back inside once they were out anyway.

With the amount of noise now back at acceptable levels, you could hear the movie and enjoy your large shared bucket of popcorn that you got for the two of you to share. Although you both weren't focused on the movie, moreso on one another as you both softly conversed in the back row while munching on your snacks and sipping your respective drinks. Really, you two were using the time to get better acquainted with one another by learning about your common interests and what lives you two lived. By the time you two noticed the movie was nearly over, you felt kinda bad for not watching it because you didn't know what the movie was about.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding when Shinichiro admitted he wasn't really focused either. He'd already seen the movie several times so it didn't really matter, but he still had a great time with you and that's all that really mattered at the end of the day. The movie could have been absolute garbage and he'd much rather talk with you than watch it because he really liked you. You'll admit that,on some level, part of you is happy that other girls aren't attracted to Shinichiro and think they're out of his league. Because you aren't too sure you'd have been able to compete otherwise if there had been anyone else that was interested. If it were up to you, you'd keep this handsome,dorky sweetheart of a boy all to yourself and Shinichiro wouldn't mind it. If this is what being loved feels like, then he's all yours and how can he refuse someone as sweet as you if you ever suggested being his one and only lover? He can't and he won't.

I hope I did Shinichiro justice 👉👈 Same with Wakasa and the other boys too, they haven't been animated yet but with how they act in the manga, I assume they're a couple of bros that fuck around and tease their leader about his failing love life. They might shit on him for it but hey, they aren't your friends if they don't at least try to help set you up with someone they think you have a shot with or try to cheer you up if you've been rejected back to back. Bros roast each other but they've got each other's backs when they need it.

[ravenelyx]

Arranged Heartbreak - Sebastian Sallow

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x Fem! Reader

Words: 15k

Warnings: angst, fluff, courting, pining, cute but also very sad, Sebastian is so in love it's ridiculous,

Summary: "He felt a sudden urge to lean in, to kiss her and show her that all this courtesy and proper behaviour meant nothing to him. He just wanted her. He just wanted to be hers." Falling in love had never been easy. Falling in love with an upper-class muggle-born? A recipe for assured heartbreak.

A/N: In a way, self-indulgent (if ykyk). English is not my first language, so I apologise for any mistake. The perfumes described are also based on real perfumes (Miss Dior, Trussardi, Tom Ford - Beau De Jour)

Masterlist

you can find the whole fic also here on A03

Act I

The first time Sebastian met her, they were in their fifth-year.

She was new: a transfer student from Italy with foreign relatives, at least from her father’s side. The circumstances weren’t quite favourable, though, as the reason for their first meeting was Sebastian being a good friend after Ominis wronged her, and trying to mend the ties between the two of them.

When Sebastian dared to ask his friend what the reason for their disagreement was, the blond only blushed in embarrassment, before uttering two simple words that made his breath hitch. “Women’s rights.”

"I'm sure I can charm my way in as always," Sebastian replied confidently after the blond expressed his own doubts. "Just tell me where you think we can find this Miss ____."

“I think I know where she spends her time when not in the Common Room,” Ominis said grimly, as he began to lead his friend through the corridors. “Thank you, Sebastian, but I must warn you… she’s very stubborn. You might not be able to convince her so easily.”

"Anything for you my friend." Sebastian smiled, completely ignoring the last statement, and followed Ominis around as the blond, he realised after a few minutes, led him towards the Library. He smiled despite himself as they entered the familiar place and started scanning for anyone whom he didn't recognise.

As they turned a corner, he stopped abruptly. At the end of the aisle stood a girl pacing back and forth with a tome in her hands, frowning slightly as she read through the pages.

Sebastian immediately noticed the typical Mediterranean features, such as the curve of her hips that appeared from time to time as her robes swung around her body with each step, her olive-toned but flawless skin, and her big, deep eyes adorned with long, thick lashes.

He felt his breath catch at the elegance with which she moved, not exactly confident per se, no — on the contrary, the way her shoulders slumped a little and her legs stayed close together with each step showed a complete lack of the usual poise purebloods usually had. She moved like a Muggle, but her steps held a commensurate regality to her family's supposed high esteem, and the way her head ducked slightly toward the book told him that she had been prepared for more in life than holding a profession in the wizarding world.

"That's Miss ____? If only you could see her… you would've fallen to your knees during the argument." Sebastian leaned in to whisper to Ominis: his tone was definitely teasing but there was some wonder in it.

Ominis nudged his arm, letting out a bashful laugh. “I can easily sense it as well.”

Sebastian looked down at him, and at the wand glowing red in his hands. It never failed to fascinate him.

“You better keep your wits about you. She nearly bit my head off and no matter how many times I tried to retort, she always seemed one step ahead.” The Gaunt boy sighed and then gave the brunet a small knowing smile. “I think she's already got you wrapped around her finger though. You can't blame me for not falling for her, I never did have that much of a thing for romance.”

"Is that so?" Sebastian teased him, stealing glances at the girl and noticing the way her bottom lip slightly disappeared under her top one every once in a while. "Well, I'll go get your forgiveness and perhaps..." He trailed off with a slight smirk, now taking a long, not-so-subtle look. "Your blessing as well?"

“I’m no priest.” Ominis let out a small laugh. “She’s really got a hold on you, hasn’t she? I can only wish you my best of luck. And if all else fails, you have my blessing to give up.”

"Oh, really? Always glad to know I can count on you.” Sebastian rolled his eyes and nudged his arm. “Watch me, then."

He fixed his collar and took a deep breath, before approaching the girl. "Hello, are you Miss ____?"

The girl looked up from her book, surprised. "That's me, how can I help you?"

She stared him up and down, her eyes piercing through him, whether willingly or not, he couldn’t tell.

“I’m Sebastian Sallow.” He greeted. “I’m a friend of Ominis, I’m sure you’ve met before. He had mentioned you as a transfer student from Italy. Beauxbatons, I suppose?”

“Ominis, you said?” She repeated, her tone laced with a hint of annoyance. She discarded his question and her eyes narrowed. "Came to mock as well, have you then?"

"Certainly not," he said, trying to maintain a friendly cadence in his voice. "I'm here on his behalf in fact. He has, well, in his own words, done you a great disservice, and I'm here to ask for your forgiveness, should you be willing to hear it.”

She quirked an eyebrow at that, and he suddenly was all too aware of his own breathing. He continued nonetheless.

"You must excuse his manners, his views can be... rather narrow-minded, as you can see. And not of his own volition." He paused for a moment, trying not to take his eyes off hers. That would not look very assertive in a situation like that. "If you want to hear me out, I mean. I can understand if you don’t think he's worth your time."

"I see he is so contrite that he had to send you to atone for his mistakes instead of fixing them on his own." She said sarcastically. "Me and Ominis Gaunt have nothing to do with each other, he had made his stances pretty clear and our conversation ended hours ago."

Her tone was full of distaste and he bit his lower lip, trying not to grimace. "That's fair," he sighed slowly. "I wouldn’t do anything differently in your position, frankly. I will not force you to do anything, Miss ____, I know how valuable a person's time is. Just know that Ominis does feel remorse, even though he may not show it at the moment. He just needs time."

"I don't believe in apologies, Mr Sallow. I believe in actions." She said sternly. "And in cowardice."

His heart gave a slight jump at the weight of her words, and he definitely should have defended his best friend's honour better, but as a breach of trust, he felt a small smile creep onto his face.

"You know, I like you, Miss ____," he admitted, surprised at himself. "You're not afraid to tell people the truth. And I agree with you: Words mean nothing if they aren't followed by actions. I can assure you that Ominis is ready to show his remorse. You need only tell me what you'd like him to do, and I'm sure he'll comply."

"Mr. Sallow, I appreciate your willingness to help your friend," she said tersely. "But the offended shouldn't be the one to tell the offender how to make amends."

Damn, Ominis wasn't lying, the boy thought to himself.

"Good point." He admitted with a small smile. "You're right, he should be the one to prove his sincerity. If he can't think of anything himself, then he's just showing he doesn't mean it."

She nodded in agreement, not letting her guard down. “Is that all, or is there something else?”

"Do you think you can forgive him if he finds a way to make reparations?” He asked, more out of curiosity than anything else. He was actually impressed with how the girl handled the whole situation, especially because he had to stifle a snarky remark to Ominis himself after the latter had told him about their conversation word for word. He had expected her to be a bit more spiteful, given she was the offended party here.

"If he demonstrates that he has truly changed his mind and shows it with his actions, not words, then yes... I'm willing to forgive him."

"You are very reasonable. Most people would not be willing to forgive so easily, if at all," he admitted, and his voice was full of genuine admiration. He glanced around, his eyes falling on her book, and the corners of his eyes wrinkled slightly.

“Well, it’s no use holding grudges when they’re repentable. It’s neither wise, nor reasonable, as you mentioned. Would that mean I’m both those things?”

"Oh, it definitely does. After all, it takes one to know one," he answered with a hint of arrogance in his voice. "You're a rare gem, you know that, Miss ____?"

She gave him a small, almost contemptuous smile. "Flattery won't make me forgive him faster, Mr Sallow, I hope you know that." She closed the book and put it back on the shelf.

"I did not expect it would," he replied with a smile of his own. "But I did not lie. You're a very sharp young woman. You know how the world works, and you're not afraid to speak your mind. That's a rare thing and it's what makes you so... unique."

“Unique, you say?” She flashed her eyebrows, amused.

"You're like a lighting bolt through the fog that lights up what's hidden in the middle. I envy that."

She raised an eyebrow slightly as his attempt to a simile. "Lightning cannot travel through the fog. It will disperse in it through the water droplets.”.

“Alright, keep your scientific knowledge above me.” He rolled his eyes, unable to ignore the heat rising to his cheeks at his failure. She shook her head slightly.

“Everyone should learn how to live in this world, and many people are afraid to speak their truth in fear of judgement from others. I don't believe we should annul ourselves to fit in with other people." Her fingers lightly touched the covers of the books resting on the shelves. He followed the motion.

"Unless..." She gave a small smile. "It can benefit us."

"You're quite the philosopher too, aren't you?" He couldn't help but grin. "A better philosopher than I am a poet, I can see. 'Know thyself', as that old Greek philosopher said. Your ancestors must've passed down such a trait, I can't imagine anyone with Italian ancestry has anything but deep thinkers within them."

“You mean Socrates?” She commented, amused. "I guess that's a trait only someone with a romantic background can have. As seen by your poetry.”

He turned his head away for a moment with a dampened smile. “We do also have some exceptional poets, though, don’t we? Even Muggle poets aren’t that bad.” 

“Ah, yes. I love me some Shakespeare," she said with a hint of irony a small smirk playing on her lips.

“I think Chaucher is pretty good, as well. He wrote some classics, too. I loved the Canterbury Tales,” he retorted, tilting his head slightly as he looked at her, awaiting. Sebastian found himself wanting to impress her. Why, he had no idea.

“I prefer the Decameron,” and there was her prompt answer as she gave him a playful grin.

His heart skipped a beat.

“I see what you’re doing there.” He smiled impishly. “Can’t blame you, though I haven't gotten around to reading it yet.”

“Then I suppose you should start at the source," the girl shrugged, tapping over the hard book covers.

He glanced at her delicate hand and the repetitive movement, enchanted, then turned back to her. “You read a lot of books, don't you?”

“Enough to keep up-to-date.”

He couldn't help but chuckle, feeling a little more seen than his comfort usually allowed him to be. "Is that where you get your sharp wit from?”

“I prefer to think of it as an innate ability, but I suppose a few more fancy words to expand my lexicon won’t hurt.”

“Fancy words, eh? What for?"

“You can accomplish much more with an adequate parlance in certain situations than with all the gold in the world," she explained toughtfully, her voice clear and proud and a little teasing. There was the philosopher again.

“Ah, I see. Is that what you’re doing now?” He couldn't help but ask, not tearing his eyes off hers. And her eyes were particularly enchanting, he noted, with various flecks of colour gleaming in the soft warm light of the Library toarches. And perhaps—

“Am I charming you, Mr Sallow?” She interrupted his thoughts and he dearly hoped no unwanted extra pigment made its way through his cheeks.

“I want to trust that my spirit is stronger than that.” He cleared his throat. “So, that’s what you meant by benefiting from other people?”

“Sometimes we need to pave our own way to reach a point, other times it's better to... steal a ride from someone?”

"Very wisely said," he replied with a little laugh. "So, how would you... steal a ride?" He continued thoughtfully. "I see no other way than to be true to oneself. If your goal is to reach a point, wouldn't it be better to forge your own path rather than take someone's? At the risk of sounding arrogant myself."

"If a path is already paved and it's the shortest way to your goal, it would be a pity not to use it." She looked up at him. "To be true to oneself doesn't mean to be hubristic, Mr Sallow."

"I admit you have a point. If one wants to get to a destination as soon and with as little effort as possible, the path of least resistance is the best, but at the same time, aren't we meant to overcome adversity and find our own path? I find that much more rewarding than simply following in someone else's footsteps."

"For example, your friend Ominis sending you to beg for his forgiveness instead of doing it himself?"

He couldn't help but chuckle softly at that. "You're quite the sharp one, Miss ____. It’s becoming rather impressive."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise and he gave her a small smile in return.

"I suppose I'm the hypocrite here, aren't I?"

"Quite," she smiled as well. "But you should go back to him, he seems quite on edge in that corner." Her face fell at the sight of the other boy. "Anything else I can help you with?"

"You really have me cornered," he said, his eyebrows raising in amusement. "I'm beginning to realise I'm not nearly as clever as I think I am — or maybe it's just that you are cleverer. In any case, you're quite the conversationalist." His eyes crinkled at her. "I have nothing more to ask right now. Except..." He took a small step forward. "Would you like to meet sometime… and talk some more?"

"Now who's the blunt one, Mr Sallow?" Despite that, she gave him a small nod. "But sure, I suppose I don't hate the idea."

"I'm glad. You seem like someone I would like to keep as a friend."

"Ah, so it's a mere question of convenience," she said teasingly. "Tell your friend Ominis that he has to work harder for my forgiveness, but I suppose you haven't made his mistakes, yet, so I can accept the idea, Mr Sallow."

He scoffed playfully at that, before saying: "You can call me Sebastian…”

“Can I now?” She flashed her eyebrows at him and shook her head. “I suppose the Wizarding World works differently. All right, Sebastian it is.”

He frowned a little, noticing she didn’t reciprocate his courtesy to use her first name. “Good. And for what it's worth, having you for a friend wouldn't just be for my convenience," he said, amused. "So?"

"I suppose I can grant you that privilege." The corner of her lips raised slightly in a teasing grin. "Now I'll leave you to your friend, it seems like you two have a lot to talk about."

He laughed softly, his eyes following her as she walked past him. "Privilege, is it? You make it sound like charity."

In that moment, he realised he liked being teased by her: it never felt mean-spirited, and he found himself hoping that encounter would only be the first of many.

"Wait!" He called after her a moment later. "One last question, if that's alright?"

She stopped, a bit surprised, and turned around. "What is it?"

"You mentioned earlier my friend Ominis should have a way of making reparations if he was serious about forgiveness. I wouldn't want to impose," he asked, "but could you at least tell me where he stands?"

She looked at him for a second, before sending him a charming smile.

"He stands on the edge of a cliff," she simply said, before turning around again and leaving the Library.

And he knew he was done for when he felt an amused smile pull at his lips as he watched her go.

Act II

The first time Sebastian truly realised his feelings for her was during their sixth year.

He sat in the dorm with Ominis, the latter immersed in yet another book about feminism: the only books he had read since the disagreement. Not that he had much choice, because as soon as Sebastian noticed the pages running short in the blond’s alabaster hand, he would go and fetch him yet another book from the same section.

“Do it for me.” The brunet always said, and Ominis had no idea what exactly that did for him.

Nor did he know if the world-weary sighs coming from his fellow Slytherin were directed to how slowly he was reading this last book, or to something else entirely.

“What’s got your wand in a knot?” He finally asked, putting his own red-glowing-and-not-in-a-knot wand down and closing the book.

“Nothing.” Said the other boy nonchalantly, as if his suspires hadn’t become gradually louder in an attempt to annoy the blond enough to make him pay attention to him.

“Is it her?”

Ah, of course he knew.

“No.”

But Ominis knew exactly what he was getting at, and frankly was done with his antics, so he decided to ignore him again.

Sebastian’s eye twitched at the silence. His hands began fidgeting the more the other boy didn’t indulge him, and, despite his efforts to stay in control, in the end he gave up.

“Fine. Yes.” He yielded, groaning loudly and letting his hands thump on the mattress for good measure. “It’s her.”

“What about it?” The Gaunt boy asked tiredly, expecting Sebastian to go on a tangent on how she had bested him at Defence Against the Dark Arts again.

But Sebastian’s mind was far too preoccupied to care about his reputation as the best duellist in school.

“I want to court her.”

Ominis stopped in his tracks, his pearly eyes widening as his friend’s words sank in.

"You... You want to court her?" he asked, his heart skipping a beat.

Of course, he knew the Sallow boy had shown some… softness around the new student. And that he seemed to think of her with higher regard than others. But never would he have imagined the words ‘Sebastian Sallow’ and ‘courting’ in the same sentence — unless he thought of him as best-man for his sister Anne. Despite the brunet’s pleasantries and quips about the new student, Ominis had always taken them as what he thought they were: jokes.

But now there he was, choking on his breath as Sebastian confessed his true intentions with the girl he apparently had been really crushing on during that last year.

Still, no matter the seemingly distressed state of his friend, he couldn’t help but tease him as good mates usually do.

"After seeing how you two interact with each other, she'd chew you up and spit you out, and then she'd curse you for not having done a better job. Still, I suppose it's the thought that counts.” He gave the brunet a small smile. “I won't dissuade you from pursuing her... just maybe think twice before you do, alright?"

"Well... thank you, it's good to know you have my back." Sebastian scoffed sarcastically. "Are you sure you're not trying to dissuade me from having her so you could woo her yourself? I thought I had your blessing.”

Ominis couldn't help but give an amused laugh at his statement. "Not even I can play that dirty, Sebastian. If that's what you want, I won't stop you; I'm just warning you not to set your heart on it if you can't handle the rejection. Not only is she beautiful, in your words, but she is clever and quick-witted, too: not an easy combination to seek the hand of."

“If my attempts at romancing her are anything like your attempts at getting her forgiveness, then I’ll surely be sporting that rejection soon.” Sebastian sighed loudly once more. “What should I do? Should I buy her flowers? Chocolate?”

“Flowers usually do the trick,” Ominis replied thoughtfully. “Perhaps you could get her something sweet as well.”

"But... But what are her favourite flowers? Or worse, what if she doesn't like flowers, or chocolate for that matter? What if she prefers white chocolate and I get her milk chocolate?" Sebastian was clearly starting to panic, and Ominis’ lungs couldn’t help but replicate those weary sighs, too.

"Does anyone really dislike flowers?" Ominis asked rhetorically. "I'm sure even if they're not her favourite, it'll show you're putting in effort.”

Sebastian nodded, listening intently and basically hanging on Ominis’ lips as if the blond was about to reveal to him the universal secret of auspicious courtship.

“As for the chocolate, I'm sure she'll forgive a little mistake: just pick the best you can afford and you'll do just fine. But," Ominis added, a smile returning to his face, "you should try to get to know her tastes a little better first, before you bring her any kind of gift. Have you not learnt anything during all this time you have been friends?"

“We don’t usually talk about flowers.” Sebastian replied indignantly.

“Right, right. You’re more keen on blasting each other to pieces in a duel. Both mental and physical.”

Sebastian smiled fondly.

“Or, to be precise, she blasts you.” Ominis added, amused.

Sebastian’s smile disappeared.

“You’re no help at all.” He turned away from him on the bed and sighed deeply again. "All right, so: tomorrow, I'll approach her after Potions, and ask her if she wants to go to Hogsmeade… Or perhaps I can partner up with her during the lesson?"

"You really are desperate to get her attention, aren't you? Well, both seem like good plans. The latter has the extra benefit of giving you more time to spend with her with no room for unwise wand usage,” Ominis laughed, “and might make more of an impression when the Hogsmeade visit comes around."

-

The next day, Sebastian managed to sit next to her and get partnered up with her to brew the Wit-Sharpening Potion.

"Use a knife to cut off two pieces of Ginger Root and add to the cauldron until the potion turns green, then add Armadillo Bile. Sebastian, could you cut the root while I get the Armadillo Bile?" She asked him, arranging the ingredients on their worktable.

"Sure thing," Sebastian replied, his heart beginning to pound a little. “Is that what you drink everyday to keep your wits about?” He joked with her as he picked up the knife.

“Oh, yes. Perhaps you should try it. The bile sure adds to the taste.”

He made a face as he added the Ginger Root. “I'd rather be daft, then.”

She laughed and moved back next to him. As she got closer, he couldn't help but notice her scent: it was flowery, intoxicating, and he realised for the first time how beautiful his friend really was.

"Is it me," he asked, his voice a little unsure, "or do you smell like... Lily-of-the-Valley? What's that perfume you're wearing?"

"Oh," she was a bit taken aback. "It's Centifolia Rose, but it does have some lily notes. I brew the perfume myself. Do you like it?"

"You... You made it yourself? That's impressive, truly," he said in awe, a wide smile breaking on his face as he blushed slightly. "It's an amazing scent. It's hard to describe: it's like a spring garden, full of blooming flowers. I like it very much."

He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before choking on his spit as the foul smell of the potion mingled with the fragrance.

She laughed as he began to cough. “Yes, the perfect spring garden.”

“Oh, stop. I was trying to compliment you.” He nudged her arm as he cleared his throat from the fumes, before speaking again. "It must be very time-consuming, though. How did you learn to do such a thing?"

"Thank you, Sebastian, that's really kind." She said, adding the bile. "I always found wizard perfumes to be a bit too strong for my taste, while high-quality muggle perfumes are a bit too expensive, so I decided to learn by myself." The potion turned blue just like the instructions said. "I used Centifolia Rose as the main ingredient. Then I embroidered it with Lily-of-the-Valley notes, apricot, Peony, and Iris."

"It's all really feminine," he said softly, the blush still colouring his cheeks. "It really suits you. You're certainly very skilled, and I have to say: that's a very impressive knowledge of ingredients and aromas to combine. I could barely distinguish the scent of Lily-of-the-Valley, let alone the others, but I'm sure that's part of your charms as a witch, is it not?"

He sent her a small glance, quirking an eyebrow, and she shook her head mirthfully.

"And as someone who knows so much about scents, how do I smell like to you, would you say?" He continued, never tearing his eyes away from the girl.

She hesitated for a second at his request, and looked up at his excited face before giving in and leaning closer to his neck. Sebastian's heart skipped a beat, a small smile gracing his lips as his breathing hitched slightly.

"Lavender and Cedarwood..." She paused, leaning a bit closer. "And a tinge of Rosemary."

“That's... lovely." He said, his voice barely a whisper as he still felt the heat of her breath on his skin. The world seemed to still around them, and even his heartbeat fell silent to his ears at her proximity.

"It's a lovely scent indeed," she agreed. "I've never made a man's fragrance before..."

“You haven’t?” He asked, shocked. “Not even for your close family?”

She shook her head. “My father isn’t fond of perfumes himself: he prefers to only use soap.”

She then smiled, a hint of pride in her eyes. "I've made another I really like, though — almost as much as this one. I mainly used Italian tangerine and neroli. Then I combined lavender with jasmine and white dahlia, and at the base, violet and patchouli essential oil. I feel combining fruit and flowers really brings out the best of it, especially when adding essential oil to really consolidate the perfume itself. I gifted it to Poppy earlier this year.”

“You have to let me smell that." He said with a smile. “Your skills never cease to impress me. How do you even know how to combine all the ingredients perfectly?”

“It’s an art, and it took me a long time to master.” She admitted, blushing slightly at his compliments. “I guess that's why I'm good at Potions."

With a last stir, the potion turned a perfect, bright orange.

"That's incredible." Sebastian’s eyes widened, taken aback as he stared at the cauldron.

"You are an exquisite perfumer: in fact, I think you must be one of the best in the world." He broke into an elated giggle as he sang his friend’s praises. "And an excellent potioneer as well!"

"I wouldn't go that far… But perhaps I could make you a perfume, too. Not that yours is bad…” She quickly added, averting her eyes. "I could actually use those same ingredients and make something out of it, if you're alright with it."

At her mere suggestion, his heart began to race, and the sudden rush of blood left his cheeks feeling hot to the touch.

"I— that'd be wonderful," he said, struggling to find the words to express himself. "I would be honoured to have it. You're a very special person, you know that?"

She smiled. "We're friends after all, Sebastian, are we not?"

He nodded with a grateful smile, and while Professor Sharp collected their phial, she began muttering in Italian about the best ingredients for his perfume.

“Lavanda e rosmarino… e muschio, forse?”

His blush only spread as he heard her speak in her native language. It sounded like she was singing: Her voice was soft, melodic as the vowels seemed to flow with each other beautifully. Sebastian had never heard spoken Italian before: Sure, he had found it in books sometimes, even attempted to read it, but never had he had the pleasure to hear it. Until now, as he was shamelessly staring at her with his mouth agape.

"Friends," he repeated, his voice soft and his heart racing, his blush ever-so-present on his cheeks as she kept muttering under her breath, "but maybe, one day, we could be… more than that?"

But she didn't seem to hear that last part as she began to put her stuff away and smiled brightly at him. "I think I'll have it ready for next week, how does that sound?"

He snapped out of his trance as he met her eyes. "That sounds perfect. Thank you, truly”.

No amount of words could describe what he was feeling, as he watched her move in that elegant poise he noticed the first day, as he saw the small smile dancing on her lips and the excited glint in her eyes, as he noticed her hands trembling a bit when she grasped her book. All he knew was that he was falling, falling deep, falling at each word she said, at each gesture.

And he didn’t mind it at all.

"Then consider it my gift to you." She gave him a wave before exiting the classroom.

Sebastian smiled back, letting his eyes linger on her figure until she disappeared from his sight.

Then his heart jumped in excitement and he could hardly contain himself as he walked — ran — to Ominis.

"Did you see... well, hear what she said? Our conversation? That went well, right?" Sebastian said, laughing to himself in disbelief, his heart pounding in his chest as he lightly bounced on his feet like a kid with a new toy. "Do you think she really wants to make me a perfume? That is… insane. Wonderful. It’s like having her, only bottled up and carried with me forever."

“Hold on now,” Ominis shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips, “You really do have more than a crush, don’t you?”

“Well, obviously. I had already told you about my intentions.” Sebastian rolled his eyes, but no matter what, he couldn’t shake the smile off his lips, not the elation coursing through his veins.

"I can positively say that I've never seen you like this." Ominis said, tilting his head. "But you must have made a really good impression to receive a gift like that."

"Shall I take that as a hint I can court her? Maybe ask her to Hogsmeade next week?"

"That's not a hint, that's an order," the blond teased him, and Sebastian began to bounce on his feet again, unable to stay still.

"Should I ask if I can call her by her first name? I mean, she calls me 'Sebastian' after all, and it's been almost a year since we've become friends… don't you think it's time?"

"I don't know about asking for a first name basis: after all, different cultures require different approaches." Ominis said thoughtfully. "Do you know what flower you'll ask her out with? I remember reading that Muggles tend to communicate their romantic intentions using the language of flowers. No one wants to show up to a date empty-handed, right? Though I suppose with her skills as a perfumer, she may be the exception when it comes to flowers in general."

"I... I don't know..." Sebastian's eyes moved around, seemingly searching in his brain for an answer. "She said the main ingredient of her perfume is centifolia rose, so perhaps I could go for that... but she also mentioned lily of the valley, which is the first flower I mentioned when smelling her perfume, which could be more of a hint related to us both…"

Ominis nodded and went to answer, but was interrupted before he could even take a breath.

"Maybe a whole bouquet?" Sebastian's eyes began to shine. "With all the flowers she mentioned and then some?"

"That sounds very thoughtful. It would mean an awful lot to her I'm sure." The blond smiled at his friend. "Are you nervous?"

"Yes..." Sebastian replied, taking a deep breath.

"It'll be fine. Just be yourself."

-

Almost an entire week had passed after that conversation and Sebastian was absolutely stressing out. He had asked her to go to Hogsmeade that weekend as planned and, to his surprise and elation, she had accepted.

The day of Sebastian's planned date had finally arrived and he was turning in front of the mirror, sporting a nicer garb than usual. While the brunet was always well-kept, the green sack coat and his matching grey vest were something very unordinary for the rather casual sixth year.

"Ready to win her heart?" Ominis asked, leaning against the wall as Sebastian huffed and grunted. "You're going to make a great impression, and swipe her off her feet."

Sebastian blushed deeply as he took the bouquet he had prepared for her. His heart was racing: what if he made a fool of himself? What if she doesn't feel the same? What if the bouquet is too much?

"What if she doesn't like it?" Ominis teased his friend, as if reading his mind. "Don't you worry. You've put a lot of thought into your gift and she will definitely notice. You also bought a new dress just for her. Any woman in the world would be lucky to be on your arm today, and I assure you she'll feel the same."

Sebastian nodded, still nervous but feeling a bit better at his friend's words. Ominis could be a tease sometimes, but he knew when Sebastian wasn't in the mood to be poked fun on and only needed genuine encouragement. And that was one of those days.

"Wish me luck." He said as he left the Common Room and headed for the tree near the lake. His hands were sweating in anticipation and anxiety as he held the bouquet close to his chest.

And then he saw a figure approach him and his heart jumped in his throat.

To say that the girl looked stunning would be like telling the sun it shines. An euphemism of the highest ungraciousness.

She wore a lilac bell skirt which delicately hugged her hips, and tucked in was a matching bodice with small gigot sleeves laced with white embroidered frills and ruffles. She wore no gloves, nor a hat, as he knew Muggle women liked to do. Her hair was tied in a seemingly messy up-do — which Sebastian knew actually took a long time to achieve, as he had seen Anne spend hours in front of her vanity mirror attempting to recreate that same hairstyle for future occasions — with small curls framing her face near her ears.

He felt like a wreck, his nerves burning all over his body, but he was at least composed enough to greet her with more than a flustered smile and an awkward cough.

"M-Miss ____..." He said, bowing gallantly at the waist. "You look... exquisite. I must be the one to feel lucky today, to be in your company."

She blushed deeply, chuckling a bit at his exaggerated greeting. "You also look… very elegant today, Sebastian."

His stomach seemed to flip and he averted his eyes, which then fell on the small box in her hands. "Might I carry that for you?"

She smiled, handing him the gift. "You can carry it... because it's yours."

Her eyes twinkled with both pride for her job and perturbation at his reaction. She had carefully wrapped the gift in a velvet green foulard: the small bottle was transparent, with a green top ribboned in silver lace, the colours of Slytherin. "I had promised I'd make you a perfume, and there it is."

She watched as he opened it, twisting her hands at the centre of her hips.

When the wrapping came off fully, his jaw dropped.

"This..." He whispered, running his fingers over the bottle. "This is wonderful. Thank you. Do you mind if I try it on right now? You know me, I could never resist a new, lovely scent."

"Of course, it's made just for that after all." She smiled. "Now you can look dashing and smell good all the same."

"Well, I'd like to think that my dashing-ness is a natural feature, but I'm all for smelling good as well."

He opened the bottle carefully, and sprayed the perfume on his wrists. Immediately, he smelled the Lavender, and an earthy, homely scent. Something that actually reminded him of Feldcroft, of the summer days he spent with Anne and Ominis, when the latter visited to get away from his family. It smelled like home, and it came from her.

"This is... incredible. How do you do it?" His eyes were wide in pure delight, and his expression showed nothing but admiration for her skills as a perfumer — and for the care she had put in a gift for him.

She grinned at his reaction and averted her eyes. "It's a fougère fragrance. I used Lavender as the main ingredient: it's very popular among men's perfume and it's the first thing I noticed in Potions class... then I laced it with herbs such as Rosemary, Basil and Oakmoss, and I tied it all together with Cedarwood. It's a very earthy scent..."

"That's all a little beyond my expertise," Sebastian admitted sheepishly, his cheeks tinged red. "But it really is quite amazing; you're very talented, I can't stress that enough. I'm so grateful that you made this for me.

"I must do something to repay you some day. Are there any scents you like? I know this shop in Hogsmeade which sells amazing essential oil. Anne used to go there all the time."

“Aromatica, you mean? It’s one of my favourites.” She smiled. "I have a vast collection already, but thank you..." She stepped closer and gently grabbed the small bottle from his hands. "May I?"

His mouth went dry and it seemed like his breath had completed its journey long before its usual end. He nodded, swallowing loudly. “Of course, Miss ____.”

She lightly sprayed the perfume on the curve of his neck, and his heart raced, and his skin felt warm, and her smile felt like a gentle caress, and her eyes…

He felt an overwhelming urge to be even closer to her.

"Please, you can use my first name, and..." She looked up into his eyes. "How about that bouquet you're hiding behind you as a 'payback', hmm?”

A blush crept across his face. Her first name. She had granted him the permission to use her first name. He smiled widely, his heart doing all sorts of somersaults in his chest.

"I'd be delighted to, if you'd like me to call you that." He laughed quietly, and stepped closer, finally revealing the bouquet with a sweep of his hand. "For you."

Her smile widened and, as she saw the bouquet, her eyes did too. She seemed to be at loss for words and his hands trembled in anticipation at her reaction. She took the bouquet carefully. "You... This... There's every flower I've mentioned for my perfumes... how did you remember all of them?" She looked up at Sebastian in wonder. "This is beautiful, Sebastian, thank you." She smiled up at him, her eyes twinkling with gratitude.

"It's nothing at all, the flowers are too beautiful not to remember them," he said, grinning from ear to ear at her reaction. "And they all have such unique meanings. I’ve read a bit about the ‘language of flowers’ Muggles use. They’re very special. Like you."

She linked her arm with his as they began walking to Hogsmeade. "I’m special? How so?"

"Well, you're very intelligent and articulate, not to mention very beautiful, I must say," he said, grinning sheepishly.

"You're also really kind, and I've never met someone so... I can't really describe it, but when you look at me... well, you make me feel special, and I..." He took a deep breath, his hand opening and closing nervously at his side as he forced the words out. "I— I think I feel something for you."

She smiled and averted her eyes, and Sebastian could see her cheeks redden. His heart tugged and he bit his lip to contain his own excitement. Maybe it wasn't a mistake.

"So... The walk to Hogsmeade, the flowers, the compliments and your confession... Sebastian, is this courting, perhaps?" She teased him.

"I... yes. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and…" He blushed slightly at the feeling of her hand on his arm, and a small giggle escaped him. But then his eyes lit up as he registered her light tone. "Does that mean... you'll allow me to court you?"

"I... I do, yes."

She pulled his arm even closer, and a wide grin spread across his face. His hands were trembling, and he tried to suppress the overwhelming urge to pull her into his arms. "Well then... Would you like to have dinner with me tonight, in Hogsmeade?"

She looked up at him in wonder. "That would be nice, yes."

They walked together for a bit, enjoying the sound of nature around them, the occasional carriages and the forest creatures which sometimes peeked curiously through the trees, before she finally spoke. "I… I don't know much about 'wizard courtship' and how different it is from Muggle one. For instance, if we were Muggles, I would need to be chaperoned. I couldn't have been walking with you and you alone."

"Really? You're not allowed to have private conversations without supervision?" He asked, his eyes wide in surprise. "What happens if you don't obey and have a private conversation? Do you get 'chastised' or something? Tell me more."

"People would consider me unworthy of respect, and think I’m doing... inappropriate things, thus ruining my chances for marriage," she rolled her eyes. "That's why I'm so adamant about women's roles and feminism, and it's the reason I got so angry after Ominis' statements."

Oh.

"Hmm... that is a strange custom I must say, it seems very... restrictive. It makes me sad to think people would see you as anything besides a wonderful, independent young lady." He said thoughtfully. "What would they think if they saw us walking together now? I'm holding your arm, and our conversation is certainly private. Does that mean we're already courting in the eyes of the Muggle world, no dinner nor flowers required?" 

"If they just saw us walking, they would think we're already engaged, or that we're related." She gave him a faint smile. "If they were to find out we aren't, we would both be 'thrown onto the streets', as they say."

She paused for a moment, taking in her surroundings. "It is also unethical for a man to be interested in a woman unless he was wealthy enough to marry her on a predictable date.”

"That means men must be rich before they can court you?" Sebastian asked, as if the idea were ridiculous. "That can't be how a union is meant to happen — that’s absurd. The heart knows where it wants to go, regardless of matters as insignificant as social standing and wealth. Isn't that what matters the most?"

"Usually, the middle class has more... freedom. They can marry for love, although the father of the woman has to approve of the man first. Most upper class, instead, are bound by arranged marriages, although there are some exceptions." She sighed, squeezing his arm closer. "And yes, no woman can go out with a man without a married woman or perhaps a brother following them. There's also no concept of dating, Sebastian, and the mere use of a first name could be misleading people into thinking you're my fiancé."

"Oh... So, a woman is not considered independent? What would happen if she were to act without her father's permission, does the law punish her somehow, or is it just a social custom?" The light dawned on Sebastian's face. "And, if the father approves of her marrying someone, how is that very different from arranged marriage? Do women not have a choice?"

"The woman has a choice to refuse, yes, but the price sometimes is worse than the marriage itself: disappointment from your parents, ostracization, repression, some even end up in… well… abuse..."

"Abuse?" Sebastian paled, his voice louder than he intended it to be. "In a marriage? That is cruelty, or madness... How is such a thing even legal anywhere? It is despicable."

“I’m telling you this, because… well…” She sighed. "My parents ought to know nothing about this, about us, until we either stop seeing each other or you decide to marry me... I'm sorry, Sebastian."

His breath caught, but he nodded nonetheless, reassuringly. “I won’t tell a soul.”

"The wizarding world is more lenient, is it not? And I'm a witch. Muggle-born or not, I'm a witch and I plan to live in this world."She looked up at him with a determined but hopeful spark, and took a trembling breath.. "I won't go back to that, I won't be thrown into an arranged marriage, I want to be free, I..."

"You're right, of course you are," he said, gently squeezing her arm. "You aren't alone. If... if anything happens, I'm here for you. Even as a friend, I promise I won't let it come to that. I would do whatever I can to make you happy, whether that means getting you away from Muggle society or something else... I just want you to feel safe."

She smiled up at him and unlinked their arms, only to wrap hers around his neck, pulling him into a hug. Sebastian was taken aback, his breath catching in his throat, but then wrapped his arms securely around her as well, as her warm body pressed against his, his mind still racing. She smelled like the flowers he had gifted her, and that hug felt like his own personal paradise.

"You're special, you know that? Thank you, Sebastian. Only..." She pulled away to look at him. "Don't even think about doing something drastic should it ever come to that point, like marrying me or something. Your freedom is yours."

"M-marry you?" He stuttered, the idea slowly forming in his mind at her words. Could that… Would that be a solution? "I didn't even think about it... why would... Is... is that what you want? I don't want... I just want to do what makes you happy."

She smiled reassuringly. "I don't want that, Sebastian. I want to do things the... wizarding way, if so to speak." She sighed. "I want to keep being your friend, to know you properly, to maybe… fall in love."

A wave of relief flooded him at her answer. He was ready to throw caution to the wind and throw everything away if he thought it would make her happy, but she didn't. He felt a smile play at his lips and he hugged her again.

"That's... exactly what I want, too," he said, kissing her forehead lightly. "I could never do any less."

She smiled, closing her eyes briefly. "You know what else isn't appropriate in the Muggle world?" She teased. "That hug and you kissing my forehead."

She let out a brief giggle and Sebastian smirked back at her. The sound of her chuckle was so sweet and carefree; he couldn't help but enjoy it... as much as he enjoyed her.

"My, my, I'm being so improper," he said, amused. "That was almost scandalous, wasn't it?"

"Very scandalous. You should just hold my arm while we walk, with a married woman following us everywhere to ensure we don't overstep." She smiled, teasing him back. "I'm certainly not allowed to call you Sebastian or hug you and get the chance to smell that beautiful perfume I made for you and that, by the way, mixes really well with your skin."

Sebastian chuckled as she spoke, his heart jumping for the umpteenth time. He had to make sure not to have a heart attack by the end of the day.

He felt a sudden urge to lean in, to kiss her and show her that all this courtesy and proper behaviour meant nothing to him. He just wanted her. He just wanted to be hers.

He pushed the thought away, but the idea still lingered at the back of his mind; it still sent waves of heat flowing throughout his veins, and his ears burnt red with the prospect of it. We are in public, Sebastian. He reminded himself.

He had never kissed anyone, and, judging by her words, neither had she, and he wanted their first kiss to be special, romantic and beautiful. Not in the middle of a street: That would be shameful, and he could never live that down.

"So," she stepped away, linking their arms again. "About that dinner you were speaking of..."

"Oh, of course!" He said, realising his mind must have drifted for a moment. "Perhaps the Three Broomsticks? I'm not sure what kind of food they serve, but it is the most renomated place in Hogsmeade after all."

He looked down at her and smiled, glad for the distraction — not that those thoughts about her had gone away.

"Is a place like that proper for courtship, or shall I find a more... suitable restaurant?" He laughed lightly, “it doesn't really matter to me, so long as I get to sit next to you."

"If it's comfortable, then it's appropriate to me." She smiled. "And the Three Broomsticks sounds nice, thank you."

He smiled down at her fondly. “Shall we go?"

She nodded and they walked together, enjoying the chat and the evening.

-

Ominis waited patiently in the comfortable silence of the dorms, another book in his hands as he waited for his friend to return, and after a few hours, Sebastian did indeed return.

The blond heard him as soon as he stepped on the stairs, his strides loud and excited as he skipped over to the entrance.

"Ominis!" His friend yelled, opening the door loudly, and the Gaunt boy couldn't help but grin excitedly.

"What is it?"

The smile on Sebastian's face was radiant, and his eyes lit up when he spoke. And he told his friend everything.

"That was..." The brunet paused for a moment at a loss for words. "It was wonderful. The food was nice, and we sat and talked, sharing jokes and I made her laugh! More than once! It was just... perfect. We spent all our time discussing our favourite subjects, our ideas on things, our fears, our aspirations. There was even some hand holding."

"Hand holding?" Ominis asked, surprised.

Sebastian blushed and nodded. "Yes... I know it's not usually proper, but... we even hugged, and I kissed her forehead, and she told me everything about Muggle courtship, and..."

"Kissed her forehead, Sebastian, you rascal, you—" Ominis' jaw dropped as he stared up in his friend’s direction in awe. "You... you kissed her, Sebastian?" He said in a breathless chuckle. Sebastian blushed profusely.

"Not— Not on the lips, of course."

"Yes, of course..." Ominis said with a smirk, his voice warm with amusement. "But, still... That is wonderful. I can literally hear the joy in your voice. I'm so happy for you, Sebastian, but seriously: try to refrain yourself."

He shook his head and pretended to tut, but despite his playful banter, he sounded almost like a proud father. "How does she feel about you? Is she as... intrigued?"

Sebastian blushed even more.

"I-I think so... She initiated the hug." He paused pondering.

"And, in a way, we talked about marriage," he suddenly added, unable to stop himself, "but not in the way you think."

"Marriage?" Sebastian's revelation made Ominis blink in surprise, and his brows furrowed. "In what way, then, if I may ask? I don't want to make any false assumptions."

"She... She told me about Muggle culture," Sebastian said, his tone now serious. "And the role of women in it, and it was so… oppressive, Ominis. She talked about women not being allowed outside without a chaperone, about how 'dating' doesn't exist and men and women can only meet in the prospect of a future arrangement, and… How... How her parents ought to know nothing about our encounters, because she is upper class, and..." He trailed off, his chest suddenly feeling too heavy. "That's why she was so unwilling to forgive you after the comment you had made."

"O-Oh..." The blond said, his voice sombre and guilty as he remembered his old conversation with the girl. "Is there no one who could help her? Nothing we can do?"

"That's when we talked about marriage..." Sebastian whispered. "I said I'd do anything... anything to ensure she won't have to be... sold to someone who doesn't deserve her."

Ominis was quiet for a long moment. He felt his stomach turn as he pictured her being trapped in a loveless marriage, a marriage of convenience to please her parents rather than for her own sake.

"Would you..." He whispered, his heart beating faster and faster in his chest. "Would you marry her, Sebastian? Just to protect her?"

"I..." The brunet choked on his words and gulped, his mouth dry. "I... If it means she will be fine...

"But… But she understood, and she told me not to. That my freedom is just as valuable, and… She told me she wants it to be natural, to fall in love, maybe even with me, but her family… she's upper class, after all." He repeated.

Ominis felt his heart sink. "If her parents get their way… they’ll sell her to an aristocrat for their own benefit, and she'll be forced to spend a miserable, loveless life...”

Sebastian didn't answer. Instead, he put his head in his hands, his eyes burning in their sockets with unspilled tears.

"I'll keep her here," he whispered. "In the wizarding world, where she doesn't... doesn't have to..."

Ominis immediately heard the sniffles in his voice, and slowly stood up to sit next to his friend. He spoke delicately, weighing each word. He knew Sebastian must feel so helpless, broken, not only because it was clear that, after spending the last year being best friends with the girl, his feelings had mutated into something more than a crush, but because she was still extremely important to him, love or not.

"That's not the way it has to be," The blond said. "There must... there must be a way to fix this."

Sebastian shook his head but didn't trust himself to speak. He leaned into Ominis embrace and real tears started to fall from his eyes.

There was no solution, nothing to do. There were only two choices: leaving her to her fate or alienating her from the Muggle society and her whole family. Ominis didn’t say a word more, letting his friend cry on his shoulder. The injustice left him feeling sick.

"I promise to you," he said, his tone warm, calm and soothing, "there will be a way. Maybe not immediately... but we will figure something out."

Sebastian spent the whole night tossing and turning and crying, and the next day, he awoke with sticky eyes and a swollen face — not to mention the heavy feeling in his chest. But he'd have to put on a brave face for her, he'd see her in class, that much was certain, and he couldn't show her that her condition made him suffer.

And for a while he did. For a few months, he was able to smile and laugh with her, to take walks with her as she fed the Thestrals. He was in awe every time: people hated those creatures, and even he, the first time, was on edge when she took him into the forest. But that was only one more beautiful trait he would sell his soul to have near him.

And as time went on, he started feeling hopeful. They were nearing the end of the school year, not to mention their legal age in the Wizarding World. The age where they would finally be allowed to use a wand at their discretion outside of school. The age when she could finally be free.

Act III

The first time Sebastian got his heart broken was at the beginning of their seventh year.

He had spent the last few weeks counting the days until her birthday. It was still months away, but that did not stop his heart from leaping with excitement at the prospect of her turning seventeen. Of her freedom.

And she was too perfect not to be free.

He had come to that conclusion that summer when he had invited her to stay in Feldcroft.

Of course, it was Anne who had to meet with her father to make sure no injudicious business was going on. It seemed the Sallow twin had enough of a silver tongue to convince an entire aristocratic Muggle family to let her daughter stay in their house. Adequate parlance, he recalled.

Sebastian had spent that week basking in the presence of the object of his affection in his very home. He made sure she did not have to lift a finger while he hosted her at his place, but as usual, she got her way most of the time,and was constantly out and about doing something to help around.

Most of the time, however, she stayed with Anne.

She had made Anne a simple perfume as well, using flowers from the meadow around the farm, not to mention the wide range of essential oils the brunette had bought from Aromatica in the weeks prior to the girl's visit.

The house never smelled better.

Sebastian would walk in after a day of helping around and studying new spells to find the two girls engrossed in an activity here and there.

She taught Anne Muggle embroidery. She had sewn her a small handkerchief. She had braided her hair with flowers.

It was not difficult for him to imagine a whole life that way.

That week was his personal idyll, and he wanted to believe it his near future as well.

When she left, he had to spend some time getting used to her absence, and that was nothing short of agonising, especially throwing his twin's teasing into the mix, but one thing gave him more hope than anything else: the fact that, perhaps, he might not have to get used to her absence in his home.

When he returned to Hogwarts for his seventh year, he made sure to spend every appropriate moment with her. They studied together, he let her play with his hair, they duelled — and she won, again and again, as she always did — and talked. They talked. A lot. But not as much as he imagined. Because Sebastian Sallow was always imagining lately.

Every time he looked at her, he imagined.

He imagined a ring of white gold on her finger, engraved with their initials. He imagined her telling him that yes, she wanted to marry him, her neck adorned with those embroidered white frills that weren't seen contrasting lilac that time. He imagined her in his arms, telling him with her beautiful, radiant smile that she loved him. He imagined and imagined until his brain was too small to fit any further, and he didn't want it to be just a fantasy anymore.

But with it came the nightmares, seeping through the empty spaces of bliss in his mind, plaguing most of his nights, when he felt his heart tearing in his chest.

That night was one such.

Sebastian had spent it tossing and turning and breaking out in a cold sweat as he saw her being ripped away from him. As he saw her say yes to another, albeit behind empty eyes and hollow words. As he saw the complacent smiles of her parents as she brought even more wealth into the family.

“No!” He awoke with a jolt for what seemed to be the hundredth time that month and looked around desperately, as if asserting that, once again, it was only a nightmare. That she was still there. That she could still be his.

Ominis was awake already, and looking in his direction with the same concerned expression he grew accustomed to lately.

“I’m okay. Just a nightmare.” Sebastian quickly got ready, not bothering to do his tie properly or wear his perfume. And that, he never forgot.

-

When he reached the Great Hall, he couldn’t help but search for her in the crowd of students. He needed to see that she was still with them. Still safe.

“Sebastian.”

He turned around with a jolt and she jumped slightly in surprise.

“Are you alright?” She asked, examining his exhausted face.

“Of… Of course.” He replied, rather unconvincingly, but he hoped she wouldn't ask any more questions. The last thing he wanted was to worry her any further. So he diverted the conversation. “How about you?”

She shrugged, holding up a piece of neatly folded parchment. “Post.” She simply said. “I’ll read it later.”

He nodded, his lips dry and an uneasy feeling in his chest. Post this early?

“I’ll see you later, all right? I’m starving.” She waved and turned in the direction of her table.

“Wait, who… Is it from Anne?” He stopped her, holding onto a glimmer of hope. Maybe he was reading too much into it and it was only his twin reaching out to greet her and ask her if she would spend Christmas with them in Feldcroft. His sister could do with some more company after all.

“My father, actually.” She turned the letter in her hands.

He swallowed thickly, that glimmer going out as soon as it ignited. He forced the words out. “You— You don’t think it’s about… that, right?” He asked in a feeble voice, choking on his words.

She narrowed her eyes a bit, just as she did the first time they met. “Is that why you look so… dishevelled today?” She tilted her head. “I don’t want to worry you, Sebastian. Promise me you won’t think about it anymore.”

He faltered, and it took a while for his neck to move in what biasedly resembled a nod, for which he appeared totally unconvincing. She sighed deeply and averted her eyes before walking away.

Sebastian's gaze followed her figure and his breath quickened. For some reason, he was panicking, more than usual.

“Why is your breathing ragged? Is it because of the nightmare?” Ominis asked, furrowing his brows.

“Yes… Probably.” He replied, not taking his eyes off the girl.

He tried not to let his mind wander too much, taking a deep breath and following Ominis to the table — not that he was hungry anymore. In fact, the mere sight of food made the pit of his stomach close painfully.

Sebastian spent a few minutes staring at his eggs, before he ran his hands through his hair desperately. His eyes searched for her at her House table, then in the crowd of students leaving and entering the Great Hall, but her figure had vanished before his eyes in a heartbeat. His face fell.

"She... She's not there anymore." He whispered to Ominis. "What if this... ruins my chances? What if I broke her trust? What if, now that she knows I'm worried sick, she won't ever want to see me again to spare me?"

Ominis' breath caught in his throat at Sebastian's words, but he forced himself to calm down, to give Sebastian a pillar to lay on as his mind already braced itself for the worst.

"I'm sure... I'm sure that if you explain yourself, she'll understand." He tried to comfort his friend.

Sebastian didn't say anything and instead stood up abruptly to go find her. He needed to find her. There had to be a solution, anything he could do for her while also not showing that her condition made him suffer. He didn't want to lose her, neither her friendship nor her future to some aristocrat. He wanted to court her, to be with her, to openly love her.

-

After about half an hour of searching — with the help of various ghosts, students and the infamous Revelio Spell — Sebastian found her alone, reading at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, seemingly oblivious to her surroundings. She seemed to have found some small nook hidden from view that no other students seemed to know about. Sebastian would go as far as saying she had made it herself.

He stopped at the entrance of it and leaned against the compact dirt and rocks on the side, staring at her thoughtfully for a while.

Just the sight of her made him feel better.

A slight smile spread across his face as he watched her hold her book carefully. No one could have the heart to hurt her, he thought. How could anyone possibly do such a thing?

Sebastian studied her for a while, not wishing to make any sudden moves and scare her. After a few minutes, though, he stepped forward, walking slowly, silently, until he was no more than a few steps from her, and finally spoke.

"Hello," he said quietly, a small smile on his face as he took a seat next to her. She looked at him, a bit startled, but did not try to move away from him like he feared she would.

"Sorry about this morning," he looked at her apologetically, his tone holding a hint of awkwardness. "Can we... talk, for a minute or two?"

"How did you find me? This place is pretty hidden..."

"How did I find you?" He said, a slight chuckle escaping his lips. "You know me. I know every hidden place in this school and around. Being sneaky is part of my genetic makeup."

The thought was intended as humour, but she didn't smile at his joke, and he realised his attempt fell flat. His smirk disappeared, replaced with an apologetic small smile.

"But you are right. You are not that easy to find..." He let out a breath, looking out over the Forbidden Forest. She didn't answer.

"So, I have to ask..." He whispered, his voice soft, his body tense like a chord as he tried to diffuse the awkwardness. "What are you reading? Something good?"

She looked down to her book as if reading the title for the first time. "Little Women... It's a muggle book"

"Hm. And what's it about?" he asked, his head cocked to the side curiously.

"It talks about four sisters growing up and struggling with their place in society as women." She sighed. "Quite fitting..."

"Ah…" He nodded thoughtfully, feeling the familiar anxiety rising once again at her words. "Would you say it's a good read? Are you enjoying it?"

She handed him the book musingly. "I've read it more than once, you can read it if you want."

Sebastian took it, hesitantly, and ran his hand over the well-worn pages as he looked down at it. It was clear the book must have been quite old. He slowly opened it, examining the faded print on the edge of the cover, feeling the old paper beneath his fingers. When he read, he always did so with care, turning pages one at a time, as if he feared they would tear his hands. He began to read, the gentle rustling of the pages quickly mingling with the light rustling of the leaves in the breeze. It was a pleasing and comforting sound.

She stayed quiet, staring blankly at the ground as he silently read. Her mind felt empty, and it was like her whole body was melting. She wasn't all there, that much was clear. It was like her usual self was trapped somewhere far deep in her brain with no way out. Sebastian immediately noticed the way she seemed to almost ‘fade’ as he read next to her, and a familiar sense of concern rose up in him. He wanted to reach out to her, to do something to take every pain away from her, to take her in his arms or hold her hand. However, he forced himself to resist: he would wait, for now, for her to speak, if and when she wished to.

He finished the chapter, closing the book carefully and returning it to her with a small smile. "I have to say, that's very well written. I was completely hooked."

She nodded. "You can borrow it, if you wish..."

Her voice was monotone, with no emotions in it. It lacked the usual cadence and musicality, her usual modulation. It sounded empty, and it hurt him to hear her like this — it scared him, in a sense. Something wasn't right, that was clear. 

He wanted to say something, to help, but he didn't know what the problem was, and thus he didn't know what to do. And so he stayed quiet, deciding to go a different route. His voice lightened a little, trying to sound more cheerful: maybe that would make it better?

"How many books do you have? I'd certainly be willing to lend you some… or… or I could borrow some as well, if you’ll have me."

"I have plenty." She whispered. Her eyes shifted around aimlessly as she played with her bracelet, seemingly grounding herself to reality, to the conversation, to his presence.

"You have plenty?" He repeated, a small, reassuring smile dancing on his lips. "Well, you did mention you were quite the avid reader. You are my best friend after all, aren't you? And there aren't many things that I enjoy more than reading... and good company, of course." He paused for a second, his eyes flickered towards the girl, and then away. "Which do you like more? The reading or the company?”

But at that point, Sebastian was basically talking to himself. She had stopped playing with the bracelet, losing her hold on reality in the meantime. She was trapped in her mind, far away. And she didn't answer.

He looked over at her lack of response and a chill washed over him as he looked at her. What is happening? He thought, panic rising in his chest, his heart beating fast. He stayed frozen in his place for long, painful seconds, his mind racing, before he reached out slowly, taking her hand in his.

"Okay, talk to me." he whispered. "Tell me what’s wrong."

She didn't move, nor registered the feeling of his hand in hers, but she heard herself speak, like it came from far away. "You're not wearing the cologne," she said slowly. "The one I brewed for you."

The sound of her voice, so soft and hollow, was heart-wrenching. When she spoke, it was as if a cold hand had gripped his heart, clutching it tightly. And the emptiness of her voice nearly undid him entirely.

He let out a small laugh: sad and hysterical, like the voice of a man whose life was crumbling apart. He felt as if her pain was his pain, and he just wanted to make her feel better.

"No," he said quietly, "not today."

But as he saw her sombre expression, his heart sank even more, and he felt the need to quickly add: "I still have it. It's my most prized possession… I've just forgotten this morning because… Well, I was in a rush, sort of. Forgive me."

She only nodded, her eyes casting downwards. She felt so tired, like her body was on edge and too calm at the same time. Like part of her wanted to jump out of her skin and leave. Leave that place. Leave everything behind.

"Can I ask?" He asked quietly, reaching out to touch her cheek lightly and turn her head towards him. "What... happened? What has come over you? You weren't like this an hour ago."

He looked directly into her eyes, trying to see beyond the nothingness of her gaze towards her true feelings, the feelings she was trying so hard to keep buried, but her vacant eyes broke his heart. "It's scaring me. Please..."

She blinked a few times, thinking, before she slowly reached into her bag and took the letter she had received that morning, handing it to him. The letter was wrinkled and there were a few dried tears smudging the paper.

"I'm officially off the market." She said emptily.

A sudden wave of realisation hit him, stopping his heart on the spot as he took the letter with shaky hands. A horrified look spread across his face. No. Please no.

"Wh-What?" He whispered, trying to control his voice, so that he wouldn’t break into a sob right there and then. It was like one of his nightmares. One of those bad dreams that kept him up since the start of the school year. It couldn't be real. It couldn't be happening. It had to be just another delusion.

"Your father... your father…" He took a deep, strained breath. "Why?"

"I'm his only daughter," she said blankly. "I knew it would happen sooner or later. I just wish I could have found a solution before it did." She looked at him, her eyes still unfocused. "I'm sorry, Sebastian. It seems like I won't have the choice to love you after all."

Those words cut directly through his chest. The shock of those words, the sudden burst of panic as he saw his greatest torment take shape right before his eyes: it felt like he had been punched directly in the heart, like someone had reached through his flesh and snatched the throbbing muscle fresh out of him.

"No," he whispered, a sob escaping him without his control. "Please... please..." 

He grabbed her, unable to hold back for another second, and pulled her into a tight hug, holding her close as he felt his heart break, its sharp pieces sticking in his lungs with each tear.

"You can't mean that." He sobbed, his voice breaking. "You can't."

She rested her head on his shoulder, as he cried. Slowly, she hugged him back. She had already shed all her tears, so the only thing she could do was let him do the same.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I really liked you… I need you to know that."

He wanted to be strong. He wanted to be there for her, to comfort her, to be the shoulder she could cry on. But in the end, the hopelessness he had been feeling every night became more real to him, and her body was warm against his.

And he broke.

His body trembled as he kept her close, wishing that, maybe, if he held her close enough she would be safe forever.

He cried for a while, his face buried against her shoulder, his body wrecked by sobs. And with each of them, the pieces of his heart ripped at his dreams, the white gold decaying before his very eyes, and her arms wrapped softly around him only compounded the pain he felt.

"You can't…" He whispered in her neck, almost deliriously. "You can't leave me."

When he finally stopped crying, he looked down at her. She didn't look like the girl he knew. The usual light in her face had gone, replaced with pure hollowness, and his heart broke all over again. "It's... it's alright," he whispered earnestly, wiping his tears. "I— I understand."

She nodded, cupping his cheek in her hand and wiping his tears. "Keep that book for me, okay?" She whispered, resigned. "I think... soon enough… I'll be made to leave Hogwarts, too, and… and perhaps the country as well."

He closed his eyes, the last remaining drops falling from his eyes and onto her palm. Leave Hogwarts. Leave the life she had known all these years.

Leave him.

The thought of not seeing her at all ever again made his stomach twist excruciatingly.

"Of course," he said earnestly, his voice soft and gentle in the silence that followed. He kissed her forehead, like it was the most precious thing he had ever known and rested his own on that same spot right after.

"I'll look after it. I promise." He smiled sadly, looking at her. "I'll keep it safe with me, alright? In my room. And if you..." He was unable to finish the sentence, the thought of her leaving too much to bear. Another small sob made its way past his lips and he felt his eyes well up again. "If you ever need anything... you know you can come to me, right? No matter where you are, you can still come to me…"

She nodded and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "Tell Ominis I forgive him, okay? It doesn't do well to hold grudges. And..." She paused. "Sebastian... promise me you'll wear that cologne."

Her proximity, her nearness to him, caused a fluttering feeling in his chest, like at least two of the thousand pieces of his heart found their way to each other again.

"Of course. I..." He said, his voice cracking. "Don't... don't be silly..." He tightened his arms around her in a hug, tears rising in his eyes once again. "I'll wear the cologne, alright? For you. I promise."

"Good. I worked an awful lot to make it for you." She let out a soft chuckle. "Thank you for inviting me to your house this summer. I really wished it could have been you... if anything."

There was a constant, painful weight in his chest, and a burning feeling in his throat, a lump so big it seemed to reach his lungs, too. He tried to swallow that pain back down, not wanting to burden her with his own feelings anymore, and let out a heavy sigh. "I wish it could have been me too."

The words had only just left his mouth when his breath caught in his chest. He hadn't meant to say that. Not like this. "I— I mean..."

"I know." She smiled, taking a big breath. "If we were older, maybe… I could've stayed here… away from those traditions, away from… a man I don't love."

There was a stab in his heart again as he rested his chin on her shoulder, and suddenly nothing mattered to him anymore. Nor her father, nor the Muggle world, nor the very concept of society. All that mattered was her, and the ring he was going to buy for her one day. "I won't let you do that," he said resolutely. "I don't care about your stupid traditions. I won't let you go."

"Sebastian. I… I'm still sixteen. I don't have a choice."

"Then I'll make one for you. You said it yourself: steal that ride, remember?" He said, caressing her cheek. "If a path is already paved, you should use it. I'll pave that path for you. I'll give you the life you deserve. I'm— I'm— I'll find a way."

And he swore he saw the gears in her brain turning behind her beautiful eyes. "If by any chance I don't leave Hogwarts…" she bit her lip. "I'll have to begin my courtship now, yes, but by tradition, I can't be wedded until I'm at least twenty-one."

A glimmer of hope made its way through the cracks of his nightmare. If she could delay her marriage, they could still get away. Make a life in this world. Be free.

"Maybe I can ask Ominis to talk Professor Black into it. You know their families share ties," he said.

"I'm a Muggle-born. Neither the Gaunts nor Headmaster Black would care, I— I'm not important to them."

"That doesn't matter." He interjected, both his hands now on her cheeks. "You're important to me. You're so much more than blood or… or tradition. I don't care if your whole family hates me, I don't care if the whole muggle world hates me. I'll find a way. I'll do anything to make you happy."

Her eyes widened in wonder. "For… For me? You can't do that, Sebastian, you—"

"I can and I will." He said, raising his voice slightly. "I'll do whatever must be done. I will protect you. I will find a way to keep you here. I refuse to let them take you away from me."

She leaned into his touch and closed her eyes. Finally, she started to cry as she covered his hand on her cheek with her own.

"I… I can't thank you enough, Sebastian I…" She gave him a small, quivering smile. "Never had someone cared so much about me…"

His heart fluttered and he caressed her cheek with his thumb. "You deserve it. You are special, remember? And I will do everything to keep you safe here with me."

"Seb…" She whispered, her eyes darting on his face. "I am in emotional distress, and yes, I feel gratitude towards you, immense gratitude… But I want you to know that it's not these feelings that are driving me to do what I want to do right now…" She paused, biting her lip. "And it's a very inappropriate thing by muggle standards."

His heart jumped again, hitting that lump that still lingered in his throat.

"What is?" He whispered, his eyes looking at every inch of her face.

"This."

And with that she kissed him. Gently. Hesitantly. It was all so sudden: her sweet lips on his, the warmth of her body and the soft intimacy of her, and whatever romance book he'd read, it was nothing compared to how it felt.

There were no fireworks. His heart was not pounding. It felt right. It felt like he had done it a thousand times and would do it a thousand more.

Her lips melded perfectly with his as his arms found their way around her waist and pulled her closer. He tangled his fingers in her hair and smelled the lily of the valley, and tasted her tears on her lips, and tasted his own along. She wrapped her arms around his neck and it was so slow and loving and passionate that he felt his limbs melt around her. He held her in his arms and kissed her again and again, as if he could never let her go. He could stay there forever, just like that, in that warm embrace where he felt at home.

The thought came like a shock of lightning in his stomach. He felt his arms hold her tighter, his voice soften the slightest bit. "I love you." He whispered.

She looked into his eyes, and he counted every speck of colour in them, one more beautiful than the other.

“You do?” She asked, her lips ghosting his, their breaths mingling. “You… love me?”

"I know I do," he breathed. “I would feel lost, incomplete without you. I want to wake up next to you every morning; I want to hear your voice, see your smile everyday and be the reason for it; I want to share my life with you. I... I want to give my life for you... for us." His words were soft, sweet, honest. "Yes, I love you."

“You… You really mean that?” She looked stunned, before averting her eyes. “I… I don’t want you to lose your freedom. I don’t want to be the reason you’re unhappy.”

“I could never be unhappy with you.” He whispered, caressing her cheek, and kissed her again.

“If… If you meant all that, and…” She paused, the weight of her words crushing her lungs. “You’ve only shown kindness to me… You’ve bought me flowers, you invited me to your house and… you said you wanted to court me… Do you still want that?”

His heart fluttered, and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He probably looked like a lovestruck idiot, but he didn’t care. Because the only thing that mattered right now was her. And how sweet she was, and how tender her words were, and how perfectly she fit in his arms.

“I don’t want to just court you,” he whispered, holding her face in his palm. “I want to marry you. I… I want you to be my wife. I have for a while now.”

His voice trembled in anticipation and fear, and his breath hitched when he saw the most gorgeous smile break on her beautiful face.

“T-Then… if my father approves… and he calls off this arrangement in favour of yours…” She said, her voice quivering, and he kissed her cheekbone reassuringly. “I’ll be honoured to become completely yours when the time comes.”

And there it was once more, the feeling that it must be a dream, that it couldn't be real. He must have fallen asleep during Ancient Runes again. His cheeks stretched into the widest grin, his chest hurt and the burn spread to his arms, which tightened around her as if wanting to melt her body into his.

“Do you…Really?” He whispered breathlessly, his eyes wide not to miss any detail of her face, in fear that, if he got distracted even just a second, she would fleet away.

“I love you, and I want to marry you, too.”

And he kissed her again, holding her like she was his very lifeline. And that time, he didn't taste tears or lips. He tasted her, everything she was and everything she would be with him, and he tasted his devotion, his affection as it found its way to her heart and made its home in that small nook just as he did in the much bigger one they were in, and he tasted hers doing the same, slowly grabbing the pieces scattered in his chest and using them to build its home again. And he kissed her until there was no air left. And he would happily give up his lungs as long as he still had her lips. Because the only thing he needed to breathe was her.

"And if not?" His voice trembled as his mouth reluctantly left its place. "If your father doesn't approve, will you still marry me? Would you run away with me? What would happen to us?"

"I would get thrown out of the muggle world…" She said, and he could feel a crack of uncertainty in her eyes, but then she licked her lips, and felt him, and everything he was for her. "But… I still have the wizarding world… our world. And I'll be yours until it crumbles."

"Then I'll make sure it's everlasting. I'll hold its weight in my hands if I have to."

"The only thing I want you to hold is me." She smiled and kissed the tip of his nose.

He let out a shaky breath.

"My companion for life." His voice trembled. "Each time I looked at you, I could only imagine what it would be like to have you as mine, how perfect our life could be and… and when you visited this summer and I saw you in my home, with Anne… I…"

She looked into his eyes reassuringly, and that was all Sebastian needed. She knew.

"I won't let anyone take you away from me." His arms tightened around her. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She gave him a small peck. "I'll write to my father, and… you probably will have to meet him soon."

"I will. I'll do anything in my power to make him say yes. And then… we can be one."

"And if he doesn't…" She smiled and he saw that astute spark that he loved so much. "You and I could threaten him with magic. He's scared of it, like all muggles."

"We could, couldn't we?" He smirked, his eyelids lowering slightly as he looked at her. "We could give him a taste of what your real home taught us."

She chuckled. "We still have the Trace, though, so it would be unwise to really try anything, or my real home will oust me before he can."

"We do have the Trace." He smiled wickedly. "But he doesn't have to know that."

She hugged him again and rested her head on his shoulder. "And if he tries to take me away once I'm seventeen, I'll modify his memories."

His breath caught, and frankly he should've been more concerned with her devil-may-care attitude on such a delicate matter… but he couldn't find it in his heart. He loved the idea just as much.

"That's my girl." He chuckled lowly and turned his head to kiss her forehead. "I knew you'd find the perfect way to deal with this."

He ran his hand on her arms as she cuddled in his lap, and then spoke again softly: "Would you really? Use it against your father, I mean."

"He doesn't deserve respect. He doesn't deserve to be called a father. All my life, he has treated me like a future investment, so I'll show no mercy, just as he did while raising me." She lifted her head and pecked his lips. "Especially if it means I can be with you after."

"Soon, he'll see the consequences of his foolishness." He muttered, his voice softer. "For now, you're mine to hold, to love, and to cherish, and that won't change."

"Stay with me for a bit," she breathed out, "here where no one can find us. We can read together, we can… skip classes?"

"Yes," he whispered tenderly. "Skip classes. Skip whatever you want."

He leaned down and kissed her again, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"All this kissing… it would be considered very inappropriate according to my family, but…" She pressed her lips on his again. "We're not in that stupid society, so we can do anything we want."

He laughed against her lips, and felt her breath on his chin, and cheeks, and nose, and everywhere it mattered. "Exactly. There's no one here who can tell us what to do… what to be. So… kiss me more, please?"

She smiled and did just that, pressing all her relief and joy against his soft flesh.

"Sebastian, I do want to marry you, but… I also want to experience what you pureblood wizards call 'dating', so…" Her nose bumped his tenderly. "Date me?"

He drew in a sharp breath, and his hands trembled around her.

"Yes," he choked on his breath. "Yes. A thousand times yes."

"Then I'll have to get Anne's blessing."

He rolled his eyes. "Anne loves you more than she loves me, I promise you."

He pretended to sulk and she giggled.

"Well, then she'll be happy I'll have her surname soon."

His jaw fell open as he stared at her, his chest filled with butterflies. He wanted to answer properly, to say something sweet, or witty, or tender, but he could only manage a choked sound at the back of his throat. She smiled and his breath hitched.

"Mrs. Sallow, is it?"

And if at least one name in that entire forsaken world had to sound perfect, that would be it. And she was perfect. And maybe, just maybe, he could be perfect with her.

[py-dreamer]

Oh! It's Mac(aroni)-learns-the-consequences-for his-actions o'clock!: the AU

To my marshiemallows who saw my other post, no this isn't the part two I was talking about

(it's coming dw! ...I am going to roast those fics over a pit like a rotisserie chicken...)

but this is some more Ma-caca slander so if you're into that...

"get in loser we're going to yell into some all hearing (but terrible at listening) ears"

(DISCLAIMER: I do enjoy Macaque as a character, he is well written in the show imo

This is a call-out to those who think he's just a victim and excuse his crimes in the show, in lore and make him the "uwu soft boi who needs to be protected at all cost who everyone loves including all of Wukong's subjects apparently"

and make Wukong the "selfish narcissist who's a lazy good for nothing, a monster who killed Mac for funsies then cried for centuries afterward without his waifu, doesn't deserve anything good, everyone hates him for good reason, he kills puppies on a daily bas-"

yea you get the point)

I know there're some AUs where there's an artifact that can change time or transport you into a different dimension

Yea so y'know what, let Macaque get his hands on one of them, mid battle with the monkie kids.

They tell him to calm down and give the artifact back but Mac gets pissy about an earlier conversation with Wukong.

About how he made a shrine to honor his pilgrim brothers and Mac gets mad.

He tells Wukong that it's been centuries since they've died so why doesn't he let them go and Wukong of course gets pissed too.

Then Mac-aroni bursts at him why there was nothing for the brotherhood or DBK when he sealed him or when he died

He adds some extra insults for flavor then leaves (as usual) without giving the monkey king to give his perspective and cuss him out

Back to the present, Mac decides to alter the timeline just a wee bit...

"Tang Sanzang was killed by the six eared Macaque during their first encounter"

Then we see this new world...but it's not all happy like Macaque hoped

First off, the journey was to retrieve holy scriptures from India which would help to cleanse the east apparently. But it was also because of the journey a lot of corruption was stopped (eg slow cart kingdom with its policy on Buddhism, kingdom of women and the demon guarding the abortion spring, the demon who overthrew the black river god, kidnappings in general)

So yea if it was cut short, a lot of that corruption would still be in power.

With most of the human population being overtaken by humans or corrupt kings or busy being eaten or courtnapped, yea society could not evolve. It stays mostly stagnant, so a lot of technology hasn't been invented yet and most humans (particularly lower class) are doing worse for wear.

But it wasn't his fault; it was the society and humans for being to weak to upturn itself.

Mac sees them, doesn't really care and goes off to find Wukong because hey, he's curious

However he finds the Camel Ridge trio instead and we know what kinda happened in that town.

The surrounding area is dry and barren because all the life is being sucked out of it. Heck, its probably even more arid cause the trio's reign has lasted for centuries.

They all welcome Macaque with open arms asking him where he's been and they haven't heard of him since the monk's murder.

The trio thank Mac since they heard how the monk had Wukong on a leash and how he was no more than a guard dog and they were worried that he'd make the monkey king reign his wrath on the city if they ever crossed and without him, the journey never continued and there was no encounter

He's disturbed by the friends he once loathed and fought welcoming him with open arms and owed their success to his actions.

But it wasn't his fault for their corruption, it was their city and their choices, someway or another karma will get them probably...maybe...

Since without the journey, the brotherhood never would've ended up in the ink scrolls

"Its a shame Wukong and Brother Bull can't join us"

Mac asks what they mean and where DBK was.

He learns the demon bull family were in mourning.

You see, without the pilgrims and more importantly, Sanzang and Wukong present, the sealing of the samahdi fire probably wouldn't have went the same.

They couldn't find anyone available who'd survive the flames so DBK, PIF and Nezha had to try it themselves...and were sadly unsucessful

The infant's power caused mass destruction, many deaths, injured both his parents greatly...

...and ultimately led the child to an early grave.

Leaving the clan and couple devastated for years to come.

But it still wasn't his fault: it was just due to unfortunate circumstances!

Macaque, disturbed by this leaves without saying goodbye, goes to flower fruit mountain to check on its status. Since without having to continue the journey, surely the monkey king would be basking in the sun with his subjects happily gorging themselves on fruit-

Only he comes back to a total wasteland.

As a consequence of letting the monk be killed and failing his chance at redemption, heaven punished Sun Wukong and he was never seen again (much to Mac's surprise).

But not only that, it seemed the gods took their rage out on Flower fruit mountain as well. This was the 2nd time it was burned but now they made sure to finish the job, every last tree engulfed in flames.

Without the monkey king coming back to save them, all the inhabitants were at risk of the burning and any left who fled to the mainland were captured and sold, starved or hunted and eaten. There were no survivors.

Upset by his discovery, Macaque was filled with rage at the king. How dare he not take care of their home, he failed as a friend but now as a king too. So he snuck into heaven to find out his location to find answers and yell at him.

It wasn't his fault their home was destroyed. That was Wukong's duty as king! He failed his subjects and he must pay

A tear filled Macaque snuffs through heaven's files as even he couldn't find the location of Sun Wukong's prison.

He learns that Nezha after failing to seal the fire, got terribly burned in the process probably crippling him and causing mass destruction to many nearby towns and minor gods had been cast out of heaven.

Some of the guilt started weighing in on him but he put that aside, because of course it wasn't his fault; the god was just too weak and shouldn't have stuck his nose into other's business.

And finally, the main course we've all been waiting for: confronting Wukong.

He's back under 5 phases mountain but this time with many more locks and security cautions. Macaque learns nobody had heard from the king in a 1000 years.

He finds the king and screams at him that it was his fault how FFM was now a desolate dessert devoid of life.

But to his surprise, the king laughs.

The king laughs maniacally, practically howling with laughter but with crazed eyes like a madman.

"I assume you'll blame me for 'abandoning' you too?"

He rips into Macaque about how they always swore to stay by each others side but the moment things get ugly Mac will always save his skin. And asks where was he for him through all this.

Not during the battle vs heaven.

Not during his trials.

Not during his imprisonment.

Not when he asked him to go back and leave the pilgrims alone.

Not when heaven pointed fingers at him that the monk's murder was his fault.

Not when FFM was destroyed and Wukong didn't learn until some heavenly officials told him years later as they fed him metal pellets and molten iron.

Even now, the only reason he came was to complain.

(I imagine a lil conversation to go like this:

Macaque: They abused you! They didn't free you!!

Wukong: WELL NEITHER DID YOU!!!!

Macaque:...

Wukong:...neither did you...)

Then Mac decides to ask what the pilgrims did afterward and bet they all ran off too...how wrong he was

(Macaque: Then where are your 'pilgrim' brothers now? Why aren't they here to help you the-

Wukong: they're gone

Macaque: what..?

Wukong: They're gone...They're gone...gone...DID YOU NOT HEAR ME? ARE YOU DEAF? I SAID THEY'RE GONE!!!

Macaque: but how...

Wukong: after you fled the scene, the heavenly officials came to detain me....hahahah...I was caught in that diamond snare again and Ao Lie jumped in to defend me.

Macaque: but I thought...

Wukong: I was so distraught, I couldn't do anything...They said that it was also their fault master was dead so they'd better stay quiet if they wanted to lessen their sentence....hahahah...I watched them all die one by one Macaque...

Macaque:...

Wukong:...they all defended me...even the goddamn pig... And do you know where that lead them? They all died...Liu'er...they're dead...I WATCHED MY BROTHERS DIE IN FRONT OF ME FOR DEFENDING ME...I DID NOTHING LIU'ER...DO YOU KNOW WHERE AZURE AND THE OTHERS ARE NOW? I'M SURE THEY'RE PARTYING AND LEAVING ME TO ROT. MEANWHILE MY BROTHERS GAVE THEIR LIVES FOR A USELESS MONKEY. I COULDN'T EVEN PROTECT MY SUBJECTS...OR SANZANG...THE GREAT SAGE EQUAL TO HEAVEN CAN'T EVEN PROTECT A SINGLE HUMAN...ALL THAT TIME, TRAINING, USELESS!! SO SURE...BLAME ME ALL YOU WANT BECAUSE I DESERVE IT AT THIS POINT!!!! COME ON!!!!

Macaque: God, you've really gone mad...)

I want this man to meet his inner demons or someone able to slap him around to just really remind him of the consequences to his actions maybe some ink scroll action.

Just basically:

And maybe if I'm feeling nice we get a happy ending, Mac reverses the spell or something and perhaps says something nice to Wukong for once.

If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions on how the timeline would change, do tell I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

@furornocturna might be reminding Mac-adoodledoo of his crimes to the monkie kids in the present but I'm taking him for a roadtrip to the past

(or other present...time travel is complicated y'all)

(Again I recommend 'Fractured pieces make a mosaic' on Ao3.

I shall call them my partner in crime for Mac-caca bullying if they shall so let me have the honors...also @nightmarebunnyking...they also do good slander

No I will not stop advertising their work. Cause it's good outside of the slander, Wukong is very affectionate, we love that for him and MK collects dads like pokemon cards

also kinda want opinions on more ole'Mac-doodle had denial. E I E I O

I propose we gather in a circle and beat him with a stick

...pls interact its 1 am rn)

Also fun fact this is my 2001st post so uhh...yay..?

[wordsbymae]

WarTrophy! Reader x Warlord

With a post-apocalyptic twist. I was gonna do the usual medieval style thing for the warlord, but I got inspired by Mad Max: Thunder Dome (An amazing movie), to do post apocalyptic sorta thing. Any way hope you enjoy!

TW: Gn!reader, Verbal and somewhat physical SA, grubby and sleezy male characters. Reader is from a well looked after community, therefore when the Warlord and his raiders come to town, chaos erupts. Violence, murder, battle and raiding, reader given fem pet names but no gender described. In my mind this is canonically set in Australia, because I am Australian and also mad max is set in Australia and also post-apocalyptic fiction just makes sense when set in Australia. Also reader has nickname blue

They came in the night. No warning, no threat along the horizon. Just pure violence coming to reek havoc in the moonless night. You were awoken to the sounds of screaming, cries burning at your ears. Jumping to your feet you rushed to your window, over looking the community of survivors and refuges. Death was everywhere. The town was alight with flames, the warning siren howling over the sound of shrieks and bellows of fear. You stood in shock and incomprehension for a moment, the shacks, houses and huts were being ransacked by men dressed in camouflaged uniforms. Men and women who tried to defend their homes were being cut down where they stood, or dragged away by their hair. Children were left to fend for themselves, some crying amongst the flames, watching their parents being slaughtered. Loud banging broke you from the spell you were under, someone was trying to break down your door.

"Open up!" A man yelled, continuing to try to kick the scrap metal that made your door. It wouldn't take long, it was barely put together. A split second decision was made in your mind. You couldn't stay where you were, you couldn't even stop to make a plan, or grab anything of use. You had to run, and quickly. Still in your sleepwear, you raced through your house, opening your back down with a grunt, just as your front door was slammed open. You rushed into the back alley, stunned by the destruction laid waste upon your town. You turned your back on your friends, family, community and rushed into the darkness of the buildings, leaving your town to burn.

This town was never truly meant to be a town. Before the Collapse it had been a nothing more than a water treatment plant. In the days and weeks after the collapse, people began flocking to its promise of water. Somehow ever after the loss of electricity, the plant still held thousands of litres of water, making it a refuge for all those who survived the end of the world.

You had been one of the very first to arrive, you had been fortunate to arrive with your parents and a few members of your extended family. You and your family practically built this town, saved this community. There was a reason why people knew who you were, why they moved out of the way as you walked past. It was your family this town was named after, your blood that raised it from ash.

And yet here you were, hiding in the shadows. Running for your life. Granted, there wasn't much you could do. The town lived in peace for so long that only the town militia were tasked with defence. Over the years, bullets, and gunpowder, became in short supply, leaving the hunks of metal once called guns useless. Most were melted down to make melee weapons, are fashioned into more primitive form of muskets. In many ways your town turned back into the past to strive for a better future. Most things were run on steam or water powered. Limited supply of gunpowder was made using items traded with other surviving communities. People turned back to the ways of their fore parents, hunting and farming. Life was good. Until it wasn't.

You came to a sudden halt, quickly hiding behind wooden boxes against the wall. The masked, camouflaged men ran past, yelling orders to one another. You grimaced as you saw a selective few were armed with guns. Pre-collapse guns. Either they were just for show, or someone very smart and determined figured out how to make them work in a time such as these. Most, however, had musket-like weapons and machetes and knives. At least you knew if it came down to it, there was a chance that you just had to be quicker than your assailant rather than having to dodge a bullet to survive.

After they run past, you quickened towards the wooden wall that encircled your town. In some places it was reinforced with steel and rock, but it would take decades to finally make a proper defensive structure. As the child of the founding family, you knew exactly what you were looking for. Once, when the wall was still being erected, and nothing but a metal fence separated you and the raiders of the new world, you had found a hole in the fence. Big enough that you and your childhood friend had been able to sneak out of town into the great unknown. Even when they began to reinforce it with wood and steel, you made sure the hole was still uncoverable.

You landed on your knees in front of where you remembered the hole to be. Footsteps were hurrying towards you. Raiders, friends or terrified civilians, you did not know. You focused purely on pushing the scrap of metal from covering the hole, leaning down, you pushed with all your might the large rock you had shimmed into place last time you had snuck out. It had been years since you had down so, it was just before Red had left, there was no need to sneak out anymore if he wasn't there to follow. You crawled through the hole, end in sight. The hole feeling much smaller than it did as a child. You knew your family would make it out. They would have to, right? So would friends and comrades. They were smart. Like you. They knew when to abandon ship.

If there had been a warning then of course you would have stayed, till the very end. Your task for the community was Peacemaker, a diplomate of this new crazed world. You were quite good at it too. Negotiation and diplomacy your strongest skills. If they had given warning, maybe you could reason with them, maybe no one had to have died. But raiders that come in the dark of night, killing all they willed , were not the sort of combatant you stayed around to reason with. Your task was to live, to survive, then to come back and rebuild. Always rebuild, as your parents had done all those years ago.

The metal of the broken fence dug into your hips, bringing forth a hiss of pain from your lips. You pushed through the pain, cursing as the metal dug deeper and deeper. With one last gasp, you heaved your hips through the fence, feeling the metal rip at the fabric of your clothes. Just as you were about to get up, run straight for the safety of the wilderness, a harsh grip landed on your ankle. Before even a thought could pass through your mind. You were dragged back, with force, through the hole. You screamed and kicked. Hands digging into the ground, fingers and nails desperately trying to find a hold in the soft dirt. You were flipped over. A man leering down at you.

"Ain't you a pretty thing, aye?" he sneered, his mouth opening in a wicked smile, showcasing missing and yellowed teeth. You scrunched your face in disgust, both at the sight in front of you and his hand gripping tighter onto your ankle. You were about to use your free leg to give him a swift kick, but the sight of a large hunting knife in his hand made you pause. He followed your gaze to it.

"Aw don't worry love, I'm not gonna use this thing on you, long as ya don't make a fuss." His smile grew, showcasing more blacked and cracked teeth. His face was a red blotchy colour, sweat dripped from his forehead, his weak chin wobbled as he spoke. In the fire light you could see the red veins of his eyes.

You tested his grip on you, trying to catch him unaware. Instead it backfired, resulting in him sitting on top of you, letting your ankle go.

"You be good for me sweets and I'll try to be as gentle as I can yeah?" he chuckled, your blood running cold. This man wanted something from you and there was no reason in the world that would stop him. You cannot reason with an evil man. You began to shriek, preferring him to killing you now than to suffer the injustice of his touch.

"Nobodies coming to save ya darl', Best ya get used to being on your back for me, it's gonna be real familiar by the time I get tired of you. Make me cum enough and I might just keep you" he leaned down against you, tongue licking up along your cheek. You began to trash harder, screaming. Begging. Praying. For anything, for anyone to came save you. He laughed at your misery, lifting him self back up to undo his belt.

"You ready for me to make you my whor-" a gargle where words should follow. You watched in shock as a knife was plunged in the back of his skull. Blood splattered down on you, your mouth open wide in fear and relief. You scrambled back as the evil man fell forward. You backed up against the wall, you could feel the wind blowing through the hole, your escape route still open. You started to make a mad dash for the opening, not thinking or even able to process what had happened, only focusing on what might have happened, what that man was intent on doing.

In a sick sense of Deja vu, you were once ripped from the opening. You were a bundle of feet and hands punching and kicking in all directions, your voice was hoarse from screaming bloody murder. A strong set of arms pulled you against them, and you fought like hell to be free.

"It's alright blue, its alright" came a familiar and calming voice. Only one person called you that in favour of your real name. You opened your eyes, there he was. Alive, breathing and surrounded by masked, camouflaged men.

"Red?" you whispered, not daring to shatter this illusion that he was still alive, that he had found his way back to you. You must be going mad. That evil man must have killed you, or you died in the smoke and flames burning your town. You blinked, pinched yourself. Even reached a hand to touch his face.

"It's me blue" he smiled, a perfect, lovely smile. Just as you remembered.

The men behind him shifted, causing you to panic, you grabbed red's hand and tried to run. You weren't gonna lose him again.

Instead of running into the fray once more, you were pulled back to red's arms.

"Red! We have to go! They'll kill us, please!" You begged, eyes looking into his warm brown ones. He places his hands on your arms, essentially trapping you were you stood.

"Red?" you questioned, why wasn't he worried, why weren't the men descending on you both with knifes raised. What was going on?

The fires had begun to die down, the screaming and crying was replaced with whispers of fear and a few sobs cried into the night. The warning siren slowed down to a halt.

"Red?" you whispered, not a question but a plea.

'Please still be the boy I knew before'

He looked down into your eyes, a sigh making its way pasted his lips.

He turns to his men.

"Bring all the prisoners to the town centre, no one is to harm the survivors unless I deem so. That includes coercing or forcing yourselves onto anyone. Understand?" he orders. His men giving a quick nod and salute before turning into the dying lights of the fire.

"No" you exclaim.

No, no, no, no, no

You shake your head, tears threatening to fall.

"You are one of them?" you gasp. The boy you knew as a child, the boy you had come to love, the boy who disappeared into the night, on a night eerily similar to this, returned as a raider, a killer, a monster.

A gives you a slight smirk, hands gripping you tighter.

"I'm not just one of them blue, I command them, I rule them" he boasts. A wicked gleam in his eyes.

"Traitor" you hiss. "You fucking monster! You absolute fucking bastard!"

Your anger overwhelmed whatever love you still had for him. Curled fists began attacking him, aiming for the face, when that wasn't enough to quell your fury, you tried scratching out his eyes. A pain seared across your face, you became unbalanced and fell on the very man who had threatened you a mere minute ago. Red had slapped you, caused you pain. One might argue you deserved it, lashing out like that. Most would say that's fucking irrelevant since he caused the destruction and violent occupation of your town.

"C'mon blue, you really gonna act out? I was being so nice too. Saved you from this fucker didn't I? Could've just let him have you" he pouted, head tilting to watch you try standing back up, giving the man's body a small kick while doing so. You balked at the sight of the evil man, his eyes still unnerving, even more so that he is dead, the movement of Red's kick, gave you the sick impression he was still alive.

A dangerous idea spread into your mind. The hunting knife lay unclaimed next to you. Red was unarmed as far as you could tell. You clasped the knife in a hurry, but before being able to take a slash or even stand up, Red's boot came crushing down onto your wrist. You squealed in pain, releasing the knife in a instant. His free boot kicked the knife away.

"Is that anyway to welcome home an old mate?" he tsked, "I know its been a few years, but come on blue, really? This? Trying to take me out with a knife?"

"What the fuck Red" you gasped, boot still crushing your wrist. "What the hell is going on, raiding? Seriously? this town was your home! How could you turn on us like that. How-how could you turn on me?" Pain, both physical and emotional rushed through your voice, once more tears began to spring, from the pain or the torment of knowing that your best friend was responsible for the death of dozens in your community.

"C'mon Blue! It ain't personal. Just the business of surviving. You think it brings me joy to burn this place to the ground? I mean to be honest it kinda does, but you know that story. But we don't have time to talk about that, right now you and I have a speech to get to." he grins, dark and cold. No way this is the curly haired kid you knew as a child. Red back then could barely kick a toad than massacre innocent civilians.

You let out a sigh of relief as he removes his boot. Only to let out a yelp in surprise as you are thrown over his shoulder.

"Let me go!" you cry, wiggling and worming in his hold.

"Not yet love! Got places to see and people to humiliate" his deranged laugh filled the silent streets you called home.

Before you only were able to see the destruction from a window still, or when you were at the edges of the fight. But now, now you saw everything. You watched in sorrow as you passed the bakery, still blazing alone, as the houses and shakes next to it had been pulled down. The school had been ransacked, pages and books lining the street in silent array. Childs' drawings danced lifelessly across the ground in the breeze.

Without even seeing where he was taking you, you knew where you were going. The town centre. A magnificent fig tree, alone in its splendour made for quite the impressive centre piece of the town. Speeches, weddings, announcements, birthdays and funerals were all held under its comforting branches. It calmed you to still see it still standing. Leaves fell with a hush down from its branches, as if it was crying watching the town that loved it go up in smoke.

You could hear your townspeople's whispers of fear and confusion as the watched you be carried into line of sight. You could see most of the towns population was still alive. The small group of men who were spared were pushed to one side, guarded heavily, despite being made up of elders, young boys, and a few injured men. The cluster of women and children were larger. You could see your friends and family in both groups. All accounted for, thank goodness. You were placed onto the ground and given to two guards, both quickly clasping onto your arms like their lives depended on it. You were off to the side, as Red sauntered his way to front and centre. He always loved being the centre of attention.

"Good people! How's it going?" he exclaimed, arms open wide and a smile gracing his lips. You could see confusion, vague recognition and just plain hatred line people's faces. More importantly you saw your parents both looking at you in absolute despair. You gave them a short smile and a nod, taking a deep breath when they followed suit.

Red began to speak again.

"Some of you may remember me, other's may not. I was one of you once, another member of this pathetic, weak society. You have no strength, despite your numbers. No courage or skill in warfare. Just a load of farmers, tradesmen and women. If this was any other town I would slaughter you all" he grins as if he is discussing a lovely day spent at the beach. Whispers become murmurs. Murmurs become barely contained talks of a massacre, of your towns soon extinction. You began to take shallower, faster breaths.

"Alright, calm down everyone. Maybe we need to work on our listening skills, aye? Now, let's put on our listening caps everyone. I said if you were any other town. Lucky for you bastards I actually like you guys! I had a good run here. Made some lovely mates" a pointed look thrown in your direction. "And was pretty well looked after, well until, you know. So in honour of the good times I had here. I have a compromise for you all." He clasps his hands together, and teeters back and froth from his toes to his heels.

"My men and I have already killed a whole bunch of ya, so how bout we move on from that, aye? You guys are gonna have to boost your numbers after my little stunt, and who better than the very people who massacred your friends and family!" looks of bitter disgust flow across the crowd.

"Yikes, bit of a tough crowd yeah. Alright look, the fellas and I used to have a pretty good place. But the waters run dry and also we're getting up in years, and so we're looking for a place to settle down. To have people to settle down with. So yeah we killed a whole bunch of your men, but hey! We're here to replace that gap. Maybe even help you guys with the whole defence side of things. I mean were those soldier fellas of yours even trained? They were easier to kill than a dead roo!" he barks out a laugh, his men following suit.

'What the fuck is wrong with him' you thought. Clearly years in the bush led to insanity.

"Oh! Before I forget" he stares in your direction, slowly making his way over. You squirm under his gaze uncomfortably. "If you little shits try any sort of rebellion or some shit like that. I'll slit their pretty little throat."

In a moment he brings a knife close to your throat. You reach your chin up, desperate to remove the icy sensation away from you. You look at where his eyes are directed, straight towards your mother, then slowly transferred to your father. Without their approval, any hope of rebellion or uprising is dashed. You are the perfect hostage.

"Great! Glad we could have this chat. So go have a good ole' sleep. Got a whole day of cleaning up to do tomorrow!" he beams, pulling the knife away just as quickly as he produced it. He turns his back on the towns people, grabbing your arm from one of the guards. You are dragged past the fig tree towards the council hall, located within the old water treatment plant. It is then you see how truly outnumbered you were. Nearly over a hundred men, all masked and camouflaged, line the water treatment plant, even with the men who were killed, there was no way your town could have fought them off.

You pulled back from Red, trying to get him to release his grasp.

"What is it blue? Thought you'd be happier to see your childhood mate"

"Fuck you, you dog" you spit, anger clear as day.

Red halts, and turns to you.

"Don't make me hurt you again."

It wasn't what he said, more so than how he said it. He's eyes lost their humanity, his features fell into sudden darkness, the hairs on the back of your neck stood up. You were looking into the eyes of an evil man.

You gave a quick nod, hoping he would lose interest.

"Good!" he cheers, and goes back into dragging you up the steps to the plant.

"Ya know I've never had a war trophy before" he mumbles

"Pardon?" confusion across your face turning into disgust

"You, your a war trophy." he deadpans as if its the simplest thing in the world to understand.

"I'm not a trophy" you grumble

"Cause you are, pretty enough, and you really think I'm ever gonna let you outta my sight again Blue? I've been dreaming about this day for years."

You carefully gazed up at him, his grasp on you had begun to soften.

He notices your confusion, or want for an explanation at the very least.

"You really think I would attack this place for water? Or for my men's retirement plan? Nah, blue. I burnt this town down for you, and I'd do it ten times over if you just asked."

It is then you are reminded of the skinny, lanky boy you made friends with as a child. Your mother used to laugh and call him your dog, when your father said it, he said it with annoyance. It was true, Red followed you around like a pup, always doing what you wanted and when. You didn't like remembering the day he left, mainly cause he was practically run out of town. It just took a slip of your tongue, it was an accident after all. You were a child, and didn't realise that sometimes words were dangerous. You didn't realise how much Red took your words to heart, or how much he cared to.

' Red, sometimes I just wish...'

'What blue? Tell me, I'll make it true'

'Well I just wish he was dead!'

You knew Red was being perfectly honest when he said he would burn this town down if you asked. He had already tried before.

I don't know about the ending or if reader is really a war trophy but the words came and i just put them down.

[sennenrings]

my (perhaps controversial) marauders sexuality headcanons

remus: I think remus is bi if only to cover for his canon feels for tonks. It probably takes him a long time to come to terms with the fact that he likes men because he so obviously likes women and you clearly can't like both, but once he discovers what bisexuality is he's cool with it. And I think he has a preference for men. Man or woman though, you have to come onto him. I can't see remus putting himself out there at all, any kind of relationship he has is set up by james.

sirius: sirius is gay and I truly believe that. His gay awakening was James but he kinda brushes that off as just really close friendship. And I think it is just really close friendship, he doesn't have any sexual feelings for James. So he'll date and sleep with a lot of women, always wondering why it doesn't feel right. But eventually he'll figure out that he's gay, have a pep talk with James, and then go back to his usual charming, confident self. He definitely wouldn't flaunt it, it's still the 70s, but he would be out to his friends and at some point stops publicly dating women.

in the case of wolfstar I prefer it when remus is the one having a sexuality crisis. I appreciate when it's sirius but I just think out of the two of them, sirius would be more confident in his sexuality.

james: he's straight to me im so sorry. HOWEVER he doesn't think it's gay to kiss the homies so they were kissing in that dorm room ALL the time. He would also cuddle with everyone after the full moon, it's their tradition. But anyway I think he really is only attracted to women and he's very secure in his masculinity.

peter: he's also straight to me but he DOES think it's gay to kiss the homies and he would be homophobic about it for a week until james and sirius peer pressured him and told him it wasn't actually gay. And during the post full moon cuddling he prefers to stay as a rat because that definitely means it isn't gay. But sometimes he'll cuddle in his human form just for fun. He definitely gets less homophobic over the years. Unlike james though he isn't as secure in his masculinity so when they're around other people he really tries to make himself seem as straight as possible.

lily: I don't really see her as anything but straight. But she would have very close relationships with her female friends. I also think that she would be open to trying anything once and would have sex with a woman and come out of it being like "that was fun but I'm definitely straight"

marlene: she is a mega lesbian. I think her awakening would be her dorm mates gossiping about how hot sirius is and marlene is totally repulsed. She would still date exactly one man before she actually came to terms with it though. After that, I think marlene is a deeply private person, and it's harder for women to be gay, so I don't think she's as confident in her sexuality as someone like sirius.

mary: I think she's bi with a preference for women. But I think she would repress that side of her for a number of reasons and would exclusively date men until she's like, 24 or something. Mary wouldn't let the repression affect her friendships with women though and I think she would feel closer to her friends than to any man.

regulus: I pretty much exclusively see him as straight. If he was bi or gay I think he would repress that side of himself because he knows that he has to carry on the Black family name and make an heir. If he had lived long enough I think he would have married some random pure blood woman, whoever he thought would appease his family. To think more positively, I think regulus could genuinely develop a good friendship with a nice (probably Slytherin) girl and be fine with marrying her and have a decently fulfilling life.