#there is The Guilt but she doesn't actually feel bad at all which brings More Guilt but she's still never been so free in years so ummmmmm

[kaolincrush]

i don't think about my fo4 sole survivors much bc the game is what it is so they're not full ocs to me but that post going around made me think. madeleine's first thought when she wakes up with no baby to deal with is "thank god" and that's an Interesting Time for her. she would go 4 months at minimum without looking for him lmao

[yamujiburo]

Here's an arc I thought about doing but won't do because, it'd be a bit too sad and also it's too similar to the Turing Point Arc I already did and also it would be long. But I'll write it here for you angst enjoyers. This ended up being longer than I thought.

Despite getting the "okay" from Ash to date Jessie, Delia still worries that she's not doing the right thing or being a bad mom. Up until now she'd convinced herself that she had the right to be selfish for once after knowing only sacrifice and putting herself last.

Jessie and Ash, while not as antagonistic towards each other, still go at it. A Pikachu zap here, an angry "twerp" being uttered there. The guilt settles in for Delia and figures that it's best to just cut things off before things potentially get worse or before she gets too attached to Jessie. Her son comes first after all. That's what she signed up for when becoming a parent.

She sits Jessie down, eyes watery (it's the first time Jessie's ever seen Delia come close to crying). Delia says she thinks they should end things. Jessie is stunned but accepts it quickly. She sucks it up in the moment, puts a resigned smile on her face and tells Delia she'll leave immediately and not to worry about her. Delia's also broken up about it but promised herself she'd never cry over a goodbye and she wasn't gonna start now.

Jessie goes to James and Meowth's place greeted similarly to this, lightly teasing her about blowing it with Delia, and she breaks down sobbing. Oops it's real this time. James and Meowth do everything in their power to make her feel better. They let her know that things like this happen and they're ready to go wherever she wants to go (knowing that it'd likely be to painful for her to stay in Pallet). As much as she wants to leave, she doesn't want James and Meowth to lose the good thing they have going. She's not in the right headspace to make any decisions so she'll get to it later.

Ash returns home after doing a little training at Oak's lab. He notices Jessie's not around and asks his mom where she is. Delia is about to tell him but can't quite bring herself to say the truth out loud yet. She simply says "I don't know". Ash looks disappointed. "Aw man, I wanted to see if she wanted to battle. She makes a good battle buddy for all of my newer, baby Pokémon." Delia perks up that this. As quickly as he came, he leaves again to go train his Pokémon.

Later, Delia approaches Ash, asking him if he really meant that what he said about Jessie being a good battle partner. He gives her an enthusiastic "yeah!" and tells her that it's been nice having another battle ready trainer around since there's not many in Pallet. Delia starts to pry a little more. "I thought you and Jessie didn't get along?" Ash is confused, and tells Delia they get along great! "Jessie doesn't steal anymore! And she's getting better at battling which is cool." Delia brings up that she's head them argue before. "Oh... well I guess that's just how we are. I'd be weirded out if she was suddenly too nice to me all the time. Jessie's actually a lot like Misty. But taller!" This gives Delia a lot to think about but what's done is done and it's no use pressing on. It's easier this way.

The next morning Delia's getting ready for work. She must not have noticed that she was acting weird but Ash picks up on it. "What's wrong mom?" Delia's shocked he noticed (he's not usually this perceptive). She tells him it's nothing and that she just slept bad. "Hm. But Jessie says that when you're upset you get really quiet and intense." Delia notices that she was pretty intensely mixing the pancake batter. "Jessie told you that?" Ash nods. "Hey speaking of, where is Jessie? Haven't seen her since yesterday." Delia stops mixing and tells Ash that she and Jessie aren't together anymore. Ash is confused and upset at the idea of Jessie doing something that would hurt his mom enough for them to break up. Delia lets him know that Jessie didn't do anything like that and that them breaking up was just for the best. But Ash questions this, pointing out that he's never seen Delia as happy as she was when Jessie was there and also how Delia looks really sad now. Delia can't argue with that but then tells him that it's complicated. Ash, to Delia's surprise, looks a bit disappointed. He's bummed he wasn't able to say goodbye first and asks if she thinks Jessie would still be willing to come by and train with him sometimes. Delia asks him once more if he was really okay with her and Jessie dating. "Yeah I thought I said that already? Jessie's pretty cool when she's not being evil. And she really likes Pokémon which is a plus!" Such simple criteria. Delia's now worried that she might've made a mistake. She finishes making breakfast and heads to work.

At the restaurant she's met by James. She can feel an awkwardness hanging in the air. She knows that James knows. Before she can say anything James tells Delia thank you for employing him and helping him, Meowth and Jessie get back on their feet but that he's going to quit working at the restaurant and that they'll likely be leaving Pallet soon. Delia's heart sinks. There's now a ticking clock and she has to decide what she wants to do SOON. She asks James where Jessie is. James hesitantly tells her that she's at his and Meowth's place. Delia pleads with James to work the restaurant for one more day at least and to cover this shift. She has to go talk to Jessie. He agrees, hoping that this is a good thing.

Delia runs to James and Meowth's place. She knocks on the door upon arrival and waits. It takes a moment but she hears the door unlock. Jessie opens the door, disheveled, tears and snot all over her face, draped in a blanket. Jessie notices it's Delia and, frightened, slams the door. Delia's stunned for a moment and goes to knock on the door again but before she can the door opens. This time Jessie's tears are gone, her hair's fixed and she ditched the blanket. "Oh hey, Delia! What brings you here?" Delia can't help but be charmed. But this is serious. She shakes it off and asks if they could talk. Jessie invites her in. They get to the couch and Jessie starts frantically cleaning up all the crumpled tissues and dirty dishes off the ground. "Heh I caught a cold yesterday. A one day cold. I'm fine now." Delia doesn't call out the obvious lie and gets straight to the point.

She tells Jessie that she's worried she made a mistake. She made a panicked decision that she was hoping would protect Ash and her future self. But now realizes that she was afraid of the idea that she'd made a selfish decision by dating her. It was a selfish decision but that didn't mean it was a bad one. She was the happiest she'd been, Jessie and Ash were learning to get along and were getting along much better than she'd though. She acknowledges that Jessie has been there for Ash in a way that she can't quite be and is also grateful to her for managing to keep Ash home a little longer. She asks if Jessie would be willing to take her back (despite the distress she caused). Jessie starts sobbing with happy tears. She tearfully says she'll try even harder to get along with Ash and be a better person. Delia reassures her that she's doing just fine.

They kiss passionately but then realize it's weird that they're making out in James in Meowth's place and say they'll continue later. Delia tells Jessie to head back home and that Ash is looking forward to battling with her (and she also needs to let James and Meowth not to quit their jobs).

The end~

[slutforleeminho]

heyy, i love your work, i was wondering if you could write a fic based on the song ‘the other woman’ by lana del rey where the reader is the other woman. you could do it about any member :)

this is my first ever request since i’ve been on this app so i hope i did it right 😭

The other Woman • Hwang Hyunjin

thank you so much! i’m so happy that your first ask was on my acc! i hope you like it<3

warnings: suggestive(no explicit smut), arguing, infidelity, toxic relationship, plot twist at the end;)

"I have to go, beautiful." Hyunjin leaned down to kiss your forehead after pulling his pants up and buttoning them. He placed his hand on the side of your face, gently caressing your cheek with his thumb. "She'll get suspicious if I stay any longer."

This was normal for you, yours and Hyunjin's little routine. He'd take you out to dinner and treat you like a princess, paying for your meals and anything else you could possibly want. Holding your hand and taking you places you've only dreamed of going, then he'd take you home --your home-- and he'd fuck you like there was no tomorrow. And then he'd leave to do the same things with his wife.

You never understood why he pursued you the way he did when he had someone at home to take care of, but you didn't care enough to bring it up. Why would you? You have everything a young woman could ever want; a young, handsome, rich man who gives you anything you want. But only a few times a week. It's okay though, that just gives you plenty of time to do things that you enjoy like reading and going to museums and admiring the beautiful pieces of art that you wished you could just shove in your bag and take home with you.

"Okay," You said with a tired smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Actually, I meant to tell you, I won't be able to come over tomorrow. Apparently, Violet has a family reunion, and she wants me to accompany her." He stated as he pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed his bag from the chair in the corner of your room.

Violet. Such a pretty name for such a lucky woman.

"Oh." Was all you replied with.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, of course not, these things happen," You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into as soon as you entered this relationship, if it can even be called that. "Just text me when you can. let me know when you want to meet up."

"Of course." He smiled.

He kissed you deeply before he left that night, almost making you forget that he had someone at home waiting for him, and you would be left here, cold and alone.

That text that he promised didnt come until a week later.

"I miss the way you feel wrapped around me." Was all that the message contained. You liked to imagine he was talking about your warm embrace, but you knew that wasn't true. He just wanted to feel an unfamiliar body underneath his.

You weren't sure how you ended up like this. When you first met Hyunjin he was sweet and caring, attentively listened to you while you complained about your bad day at work and massaged away all the soreness in your muscles. You can't remember the last time he's taken you out to dinner or bought you flowers. Now you were just his escape from his nagging wife.

You put up with the constant shame and guilt you felt for being with someone who already had their someone, because you thought that maybe his love for you would grow and that maybe someday Hyunjin would realize that you're the one he wants to spend every waking moment with and not someone else. But as your love for him grew your patience shrunk until one day you snapped.

Hyunjin was collecting his things after he had finished what he came here for, which was to get his dick wet and nothing more. "I won't see you again after tonight."

Hyunjin stopped in his tracks and stared at you with wide eyes. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean I deserve more than this. I deserve to have someone's full attention and all of their heart." You held yourself together, determined not to cry Infront of him. He doesn't deserve your tears.

"Baby, what are you even talking about?" He knelt down in front of you and placed his hand on your shaking knees. "Of course, I love you."

"No, you don't," You shook your head. "You love my body, you love having someone at your disposal, someone you can use only for your own pleasure. If you loved me even in the slightest there wouldn't be another woman getting the treatment that I crave so fucking much." All the emotion you've kept stuffed away finally revealed itself in the form of a single tear running down your cheek.

It was silent for a long time before Hyunjin spoke. "I'll leave her." You snapped your head up so fast that it hurt. "If that's what you want than I'll do it." The way he worded it as if it was your choice whether his marriage ended or not made you sick to your stomach, but you couldn't deny that you felt a flutter of hope in your chest that maybe this didn't have to end after all. But you're smarter than that. He says this now, but he doesn't mean it, and even if he did you wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that a woman who did nothing wrong was out there most likely crying herself to sleep while your warm and safe in the love of her life's arms.

"No, be with her. I'll be okay." That was a complete lie but even after everything he's done, you still don't want him to worry about you.

"Please don't do this to me. I love you and I want to be with you. He held on to your legs tighter.

"Funny, isn't that what you told her when you vowed in front of God and everyone that your love for her would be eternal." His mouth snapped shut and his hands left your legs before he stood. He leaned down and before you could register what was happening his lips were on yours. You immediately reciprocated, leaning forward and pressing yourself closer into him. He was so intoxicating, the way his tongue glided with yours so smoothly had you in a trance; you snapped out of it when he placed his right knee on the bed beside you and started pushing you backwards. "No!" you shoved him away. He stumbled backwards but regained his balance quickly. "I'm not doing this with you, Hyunjin. I can't do this anymore, its wrong."

"Since when do you have morals?" His voice was louder this time, he was pissed.

"I've always had them, but I put them aside because I love you!" It was your turn to stand up and look him square in the face. "But the longer we do this the more I realize that this isn't love, its obsession and its toxic. You never loved me Hyunjin you were curious about infidelity, and I was an easy target because my standards were so fucking low that I actually settled for you."

"Fuck this, I don't have to sit here and listen to you degrade me like this." He grabbed his bag and left, but not without slamming the door behind him.

~

The past month has been hell. After laying in your bed for an entire week you decided to pack up all of Hyunjins things and throw them out, the smell of him that was radiating off of them was making you sick to your stomach every time you walked in the room. And then you went to the mall to treat yourself to a new outfit, you wanted something that didn't have any memories of him attached to it. A trip to your favorite coffee shop followed after that. you hadn't been her in a while and you missed the smell of fresh espresso as you walked in the door.

After getting yourself your favorite -a butter pecan macchiato and a small triple chocolate brownie (they were out of doughnuts)- You sat in the best spot in the entire shop, in a little booth in the corner right next to the window, where you could watch the leaves that had no color left in them fall to the ground only to get trampled over by the passing pedestrians. The leaves reminded you a lot of yourself in a way, but you hoped you never had to fall again.

"Hi," a voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You turned to find yourself looking up at a very handsome young man. His hair was blonde, and it came down to his shoulders. he had an apron on, and a big smile plastered across his face, little freckles decorated his cheeks. "I saw you bought one of the brownies, it's a new recipe I tried, and I wanted to ask if you enjoyed it."

"Oh," You blinked up at him. "Um yeah it's really good, maybe my new favorite."

"Oh, thank god," He let out a sigh of relief. "I was worried that it wouldn't be any good. See a couple of the ingredients I use were sold out, so I had to substitute-" He stooped in the middle of his sentence. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I tend to do that a lot."

"No, it's okay," You huffed out a laugh. He was so cute. "Now I'm curious about what ingredients were sold out." You joked.

He smiled widely at you and stretched his hand out. "I'm Felix."

You hesitated but took his hand anyway. "Nice to meet you, Felix."

PART TWO HERE

THANK YOUUU ALL FOR A THOUSAND FOLLOWERS I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO FEEL 😭

taglist: @katsukis1wife @sungprotector @seung-mine @favieee @soephiphanymain @z4hir @minnieslover @kjr-army @caitlyn98s @bangchansbae @fawnpeaks @yumiblogs

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | #53

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mature content

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 18.4k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

It's fascinating how even after getting back to the front of Jungkook's car and a few minutes of riding back to the house, you can still feel the remains of the faintest – yet very noticeable – tingle from your previous orgasm. Jungkook – who remains to have that captivating orgasm glow or it's just your mind playing tricks on you – has put an end to your thirst, or at least that's what you thought for a short period of time. That's until you find yourself glancing his way while the aftermath of a great orgasm buzzes through your body.

If you weren't suspiciously coming back later than the actual ride is supposed to take, you wouldn't resist a possible round two. You can't believe yourself. This is not really like you. You never were driven by lust and pleasure before – at least not to this amount. Jungkook does wonders, not only to your body but to your mind as you often find yourself rethinking... well, yourself.

It's hard to explain, but it's like he brings out another person in you. Someone you never knew existed, at least not to this extent. You know the pleasure he gives you and the undeniable attraction is the reason why you're still doing this. It feels too fucking good to let go.

Before the unwanted thoughts start to invade your mind, the content feeling of being properly fucked just a few minutes ago is replaced by guilt. Not only Jungkook's father questions you of your later arrival, even though you're about ten minutes late, it's Haru and the sight of her that makes you feel bad for allowing yourself a few minutes of – absolutely perfect and irreplaceable – pleasure.

It's some time past nine in the evening, clouds no longer visible as they're replaced by the faintest stars that are sprinkled across the night sky. The garden is fully set up with beautiful outdoor lights, probably the only thing keeping Haru from falling asleep. She looks tired, Taehyung would surely call her wasted if that was possible. She's completely dozing off and though Jungkook's father (or anyone else) doesn't scold you for your arrival, because there's no reason for it, you understand his granddaughter is what sparked his curiosity.

Jungkook lies effortlessly. The lie rolls off his tongue almost skilfully as he blames the traffic and more customers in the grocery store than usual.

No one pays attention to it though, luckily for you, and they go back to their previous conversation. Mr. Jeon rushes to grill the sausages for his only granddaughter, Haru seemingly coming back to life as she assists him with her small hands.

"You really don't know how to act." Jungkook comments, handing you a can of beer which you gladly take, even though you weren't planning on drinking.

"What are you talking about?" you ask, opening the can followed with a hissing sound.

"Guilt is written all over your face, a way to look suspicious." he snorts, your mouth falling open in disbelief while you're being called out.

"Not everyone can lie so easily," you raise your brow at him, finding him cockily shrugging at his good acting skills. "Poor Haru, she's been waiting for the food and we took our time."

"That was us taking our time?" he snorts, raising his brow this time at you as you sheepishly offer him a doubtful shrug. "We both know that's not true. Besides, she was eating like an hour ago, she's not hungry, just greedy."

"Jungkook!" you exclaim, holding back a laugh at his completely honest expression while he shows no big deal of what he has just said.

"What, it's true!" he laughs, "I'm not gonna rush back to the house for some fucking sausages." he mutters mockingly so only you can hear, the beer almost coming out of your nose after you decide to take a sip right as he says it.

You laugh together, not being able to hold it back while you're trying to cover your mouth at least.

"Come on, you two! Join us!" Sona calls out to you, interrupting the moment between you two as she waves you over.

"You're living with Jungkook at the moment, right?"

It's something they all must've known at some point, though this is the first time anyone addresses it besides Mrs. Jeon's phone call you remember very freshly.

"Ah, yes." you grin, a little embarrassed for some reason.

Perhaps it's just you and your issue with not wanting to look incapable or like a burden. It's a whole another chapter to be talking about it in front of Jungkook's family. Though they've never given you a reason to feel embarrassed or weird about anything, you do find yourself tensing a little at the topic. Calm down, Y/N. They're just having a normal conversation with you.

After Sona's question, you offer them a brief explanation of what actually happened and force you to make this decision. They all seem understanding, making no big deal of you staying at Jungkook's place – even though you know there's no reason why they would make a big deal out of it. At the end of the day, it's Jungkook's business and not theirs. You do feel way better when they actually encourage you for your decision, assuring you that you've done the right thing.

"... I don't understand how someone can do that to the person they rent their place to." Mrs. Jeon scoffs a little, the rest of the family members nodding along her words as they silently agree.

"It's unfortunate really," Jungwon agrees, "But this can happen unfortunately."

"You mentioned something about finding a new place?" Sona asks curiously and you nod, a spark of hope crossing over your features as you nod with a smile.

"Yes!" you respond, "Well I haven't been there to see it yet, but the apartment looks good. Actually I texted the owner and I'm still waiting for him to get back to me, it seems like many people are interested in it. That's just my guess though."

"Well, we're gonna hope you get your own home soon." Mrs. Jeon smiles kindly at you. "Nothing's better than having your own place."

"Thank you." you smile kindly at her, appreciating the honesty and kindness.

Jungkook remains silent, at least was busy talking to his dad on the side for most of the time, but he's standing right next to you.

It got a little chilly and though you have one of Jungkook's hoodies on, you feel the warmth radiating off his body and you wish you could just snuggle closer to him to feel even warmer. Plus, you're getting tired even though it's not that late and cuddling always seems like a good option.

Sona and Jungwon say their goodbye's shortly after, poor Haru already falling asleep in her father's arms as he carries her to their car. You help Jungkook's parents to clean up and after the little nudge from Jungkook telling you to go wash up first, you listen to him. He must've noticed your tiredness and you smile at him appreciatively.

The shower feels nice and even though you would prefer taking a long bath, you stick to your shower routine rather quickly not to take up the bathroom for too long. Mr. Jeon takes his turn after the bathroom is free, offering you a tired yet warm smile before he scurries to their bedroom.

You lay on Jungkook's bed with the night lamp on, scrolling through your social media for a couple of minutes until you don't hear any other footsteps. Jungkook didn't come upstairs to wash up and you wonder what's taking him so long. After realizing you didn't bring a bottle of water to the bedroom, you sigh and make your way downstairs.

On your way down, you notice the lights are on in the living room and what sounds like soft sobs reach your ears. You halt your steps, breath hitching when you glance around the corner to find Jungkook's mom whose shoulders quiver as she cries to his shoulder. You mentally gasp at the sad sight, wondering what the hell happened.

Jungkook doesn't notice you at first, too busy hugging his mother with one hand as he gently caresses her arm.

"It's okay, mom." he mutters, voice slightly high while he can't bear the sight of his mother crying.

You don't mean to stick around, feeling like you're interrupting their moment for sure. However, just when you're about to forget the water and retrieve back to the room, Jungkook notices you. He sees the confusion, yet worry on your face while he sends a soft, but broken smile in return. You fight the urge to go there and be there for him, but you know now it's not the right time and you have to put your worry aside.

It doesn't make sense, at least not until Mrs. Jeon sniffles and says into Jungkook's shoulder;

"How could she do that to you?"

You swear your heart drops the moment she speaks, Jungkook's eyes staying on yours while he raises his brows in a silent empathy.

"You went through that all alone?"

Her voice cracks and Jungkook presses his lips together to prevent himself from breaking down. He looks composed though, and strong because no matter what his mother is going through right now after finding out what her son went through, he came to terms with it. He experienced heartbreak, pain and loss, but he's moving on and it doesn't hurt like it used to.

It doesn't make it easier to see his mother's understandable reaction though.

"Shh, I'm okay mom. I'm okay." he assures her, voice slightly breaking as he hugs her closer, placing his cheek against the top of her head as she continues to cry for him.

Deciding you shouldn't stick around, you offer Jungkook a tiny and sad smile before you quickly make your way upstairs.

When the room is swallowed in darkness and you stare into the ceiling, you keep replaying the scene you've just seen. You wonder if she's okay. If Jungkook is too. He seemed fine. He looked mostly sad because of his mother crying which is understandable. Their bond is strong.

It's clear what Jungkook revealed to his mother and though you're not sure how much he told her, you know it had to be heartbreaking to hear it. She loves her sons deeply, and to know Jungkook really had a hard time and she didn't know, wasn't there for him, is enough to be heartbreaking for any mother.

Jungkook never specifically said he won't tell her. But he might've hinted on not wanting to, fearing her reaction and for mostly, hurting her with the truth. In a way, he was protecting her from it.

There are continuous footsteps and sounds of movements outside of the room, soon replaced by door closing and shower running. You keep tossing in the bed, wondering whether you should go downstairs and check on Jungkook once the whole house quiets down.

You don't really want to come out as nosy and if Jungkook wanted to let you know, he would already stop by. Not going to lie, you are curious to know what he told her even though it's obvious. But you're mostly worried.

Sighing in annoyance to yourself, you get out of the bed as your feet pad against the floor. Just as you're reaching for the door handle, it suddenly gets pushed open before you can even touch it, causing you to almost shit yourself.

"Shit!"

"Heard that one before."

"Oh my god," you touch your forehead to rub it a few times as Jungkook sneaks inside the room, the amusement once again present in his voice as he silently laughs at your reaction. "You scared me."

"Where were you going?" he asks, ignoring your statement as you both make your way to the bed. At least you do and Jungkook follows.

"To check on you," you answer. "But I didn't know if I should. I told myself you would come here if you wanted to talk."

"I came." he says gently, getting under the covers with you but you decide not to comment on it.

You lay on your back, back staring at your ceiling as you stay in utter silence. Jungkook lays on his side, turned to you while his fingertips start to draw random patterns on your exposed arm. You gulp, close to shivering from how nice it feels.

"I told her," he says quietly.

You lick your dry lips, humming in return. "What did you tell her?"

Jungkook knows you know what the topic of their conversation was. He hears it in your voice. And he's aware of you asking what exactly he told her. So he simply says;

"Everything."

"Everything as in...?" you trail off and Jungkook chuckles at how careful you appear to be.

"Yes, everything."

That's all you need to know.

"How do you feel?"

"Surprisingly, okay." he says, surprised by himself. "I thought I would feel awful after telling her what I've been through, especially since she asked you and obviously had her doubts. You know I don't want to bother her, not even when it comes to me." he whispers as he explains.

You nod understandably.

"It wasn't easy to see her breaking down in front of me. I don't like to see people I care about cry. It's one of the reasons why I don't share my personal struggles."

"I know, that's awfully touching and annoying for us." you joke quietly, causing him to quietly laugh.

"But she's okay. I think she mostly cried because I didn't tell her sooner. But I think she would cry either way, no matter the time." he chuckles a little sadly.

"Why did you tell her? I thought you didn't want them to know."

"To be honest, I was planning it. I don't really need them looking at me differently, or to pity me from a distance even though I'm aware they all care extremely about me. I just want to be the same Jungkook for them, you know what I mean?"

You nod.

"But when you were talking with Sona, mom and dad, even Jungwon... asked me about Kiko and as you know, I only told them we broke up because our relationship wasn't what it was. They just asked about her, and couldn't possibly understand what must've happened for us to break things off. And I get it, I do. They saw our relationship from the front row as some might say, she was practically our family,"

He takes a breath.

"From what I understood, they thought we're on good terms and I don't know... I guess I felt sick of hiding it from them. It felt right to tell them at that time, so I started with mom. Coincidentally, she asked about how I'm doing and all that, it was just a great opportunity to tell her."

"I'm happy for you, Kook. I mean, I don't know if that's the right thing to say but I hope you feel better after telling them." you tell him gently as the caressing of his fingers stops for a second.

"I'm not sure if I feel better, I can't really define it. I just feel like I don't have this burden on my chest, you know?"

"Well, as long as you don't regret telling her, I think it's a good thing you feel this way."

"I don't regret it. I'm gonna tell Jungwon tomorrow, I'm supposed to meet him before we return back home. I asked mom to tell dad, I don't really want to go through that all over again but I'm sure my dad won't cry his eyes out for me. He's a tough guy."

You know what he means.

His father might not have a reaction like his wife had, but it's still going to be painful for him to hear Jungkook's story.

You yawn, turning onto your side to face Jungkook as he retrieves his hand, chuckling at the evident tiredness.

"Shit, I don't know why I'm so tired. I woke up the last out of everyone." you scold yourself, much to Jungkook's amusement.

"I took a number on you, huh?"

You roll your eyes, not really denying it because that has definitely something to do with it.

"Are you gonna sleep here?" you yawn again, cuddling to your pillow as Junkook snorts.

"Of course, this is my bedroom."

With your closed eyes, you smile tiredly. "Your mom–"

"My mom won't do anything," he interrupts you, "What she doesn't know won't kill her."

You snort, "You're unbelievable."

"So are you, baby." he muses, "Now go to sleep."

You let out a laugh, ignoring the flattering of your heart from the usual and dearing pet name, allowing yourself to fall asleep in Jungkook's close and comfortable proximity.

"So... what do you think?"

Jungkook awaited this question, so once you turn around with an excitement plastered all over your face, it's no surprise. You've been practically glowing the moment you crossed the doorstep. To be honest, he's sure you've been impressed as soon as you got out of the car and saw the neighborhood.

You've been back from Busan for three days when the owner of the apartment you're interested in finally gave you the date to go there and have a look. Of course he agreed when you asked him if he's going to accompany you. He promised you he'll be there for you. And so he is.

The building is unique and so is the apartment itself. The owner told you you could bring your own furniture since there's no bed, couch or anything you were forced to sell because of what happened with the other apartment. It doesn't bother you for sure, he's sure of it because he knows you're excited to furniture it again. You're also excited to have a place of your own, even if it's still a rented apartment but unfortunately, you can't afford to get a mortgage nor do you want to do that at the moment.

Jungkook knows all about your plans, you've talked about them a few times.

So when he sees happiness, hope and excitement – there is no reason why he should lie to you.

"It's great. I love it." he smiles and you almost squeal in another excitement but you're trying to contain it.

The owner seems to be nice – in his forties – living nearby with his wife and kids. He loves this apartment so much that he didn't want to hire any real estate agent. He could've easily avoided any other responsibility but it looks like he cares about who's going to live in his apartment. He even tells you – amongst telling you every important information about the apartment – how this was the first apartment he was able to buy. He lived here with his girlfriend who's now his wife.

"It's small enough for four of us, so we had to move out when my wife got pregnant but trust me. If we all could fit here, we would be living here." He told you which made both of you chuckle.

"I would say this place is wonderful for a young couple." Mr. Hwang – as he introduced himself to you – butts in while your eyes widen.

"Oh no, we're not–this apartment is just for me." you explain, Jungkook looking around completely unfazed by the assumption. Don't people always assume something?

"Oh, I'm sorry!" He's quick to apologize.

He had no way to know it's only for you. Well, you did contact him about being interested but you never really shared information about you being the only one who would live there. And to be completely clear, you came here with Jungkook which wouldn't have to mean anything at all – but his assumption isn't this huge mistake.

Still, you find your cheeks getting warm as you assure him it's alright.

Mr. Hwang excuses himself when his phone starts to ring and he leaves you both standing in the middle of the living room.

"Why do people always have to assume whenever a woman is seen with a man, they have to automatically date?" you hiss once he's away.

You turn to Jungkook who looks at you with big eyes, before they narrow into thin slits as he laughs at your showing annoyance.

"Doesn't that bother you?"

Jungkook cracks a grin, "I don't care what people think." he shrugs causing you to groan.

In reality, Jungkook understands your frustration and it's not like you're overly frustrated because of it. Observant and maybe a tad annoyed is the right definition.

"Stop with the sour face."

His brows shoot up as he looks at you confusingly. "What sour face?"

"You really don't want me to move out?" you ask him with a grin, slowly making your way in his direction as the teasing begins and Jungkook is aware of it. Which is why he responds with a roll of his doe eyes.

"I'm happy you found your place."

"That's not what I'm talking about," you point out, giggling when he narrows his eyes at you in annoyance. "Would you really want me to take up your office? Come on, we both know it wasn't ideal."

"I like having you as my roommate," he informs and then cracks a grin, "Even if you take up my office space."

You nudge him in his chest causing him to laugh. You bicker a little, especially by trying to pinch or grab one another. That's until Mr. Hwang comes back, apologizing again for having to take the call. It causes you to act like proper adults instead of kids bickering with each other.

When he asks the important question, you share a look with Jungkook and despite his previous words, he encourages you with a smile and soft nod which makes you look excitedly at Mr. Hwang.

"Yes. I'd love to live here."

The next few days are hectic.

Not only are you about to move into your new apartment, there is loads of stuff to be bought and ordered. Jungkook helps you every step of the way, even driving you to all the furniture shops your mind comes up with. Not mentioning he's the one carrying the heavy things and disassembling your bed.

You feel bad though.

As per usual, he assures you it's okay and he's happy to help. You both know you have no one else who would do this much for you. Jimin and Taehyung would try but – do they even know how to disassemble a single bed? They would probably mess around the whole time.

All of this happened fast.

Mr. Hwang told you you could move in right after the contract has been signed and you paid the deposit. You wouldn't want to waste any more time than it's necessary. So you started ordering the furniture pieces you need, having them delivered to your new address. Everything should arrive tomorrow and today happens to be your last day living in Jungkook's apartment.

Despite your excitement and anticipation of decorating your new home, you do feel sad gathering all your things and packing them back to the boxes that were never thrown away.

Jungkook isn't the only one who got used to having a roommate.

If it was anyone else, you're not sure if you would feel comfortable with them. With Jungkook, everything is different and even if this was for the time being, you felt comfortable and his place felt like home to you.

Not going to lie. You will miss his amazing bathtub and shower.

"You can come take a bath anytime you want."

That's what he told you and brought a smile to your faces.

"Should we do anything special? Celebrate?" Jungkook asks as he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Hm, what do you have in mind?"

It's already evening – too late to make any big celebrations. Do you even feel like celebrating? You've both been back to working, even Jimin and Taehyung have been busy with their jobs.

"Take-away and maybe a glass of wine?" he suggests, not really having much to offer considering the time. None of you are in the mood to get dressed up and go out.

After a whole day of working and then packing as soon as you've gotten home – to Jungkook's place – going out is out of the question.

So take-away and a glass of wine it is.

You both clean up, wiping all the sweat from the entire day. While you're in a shower, Jungkook orders food after checking with you and even though you've agreed – you're still touched to see your favorite food which happens to be Korean food from a local restaurant. It's the one that's slightly pricey but worth every penny.

You talk, mostly about tomorrow's plans since you have to wake up early to get to your new place where the new furniture will be delivered. Jimin and Taehyung are supposed to come too to help, which you appreciate. They wouldn't take any of your words for a "no", insisting on helping you. Well, you didn't protest too much. Four people do more work than just two – you're sure Jungkook is the one who's got the most work.

The wine tastes nice and you're on your second glass when you feel your face getting a nice warm temperature. It suddenly makes you oddly sad to be sitting in Jungkook's kitchen, almost like saying goodbye which is ridiculous.

Jimin was right.

You're bad with changes.

You never denied it.

And this is one of them. You know you will bounce back once you're alone, but now having Jungkook close and thinking you won't be waking up every morning knowing there's someone else there, feels sad.

You also know how fortunate you're when it comes to finding this apartment. And for it to be only yours. Most people have to have a roommate, if not more than one. This opportunity feels like a sign for the universe and you should be joyful about it. You are. But you will miss this.

Once you're done, teeth brushed and tucked in Jungkook's bed, there's something unspoken lingering in the air as you both lay in the room with lights off. With your bed already ready to be taken to your new place tomorrow, Jungkook's bed seems like the best option for you and who are you not to use this opportunity. You hate to admit how much you enjoy simply being next to him, a nice feeling before you will have your bed all to yourself and you'll be left alone.

A couple of minutes of constant staring at the ceiling slowly turns to shifting, you sigh as you rub your face. On the other side of the bed, Jungkook turns to face you as the thin sheets rustle around him. You thought he fell asleep by now.

"Are you okay?" he chuckles, causing you to do the same when you realize you haven't been very subtle at showing your lack of exhaustion.

The thing is that you're tired, especially from the wine but somehow you can't fall asleep. It's nothing unusual since it happened to you quite a few times.

"Are you nervous about the moving process?" Jungkook asks softly as you turn to your side to properly face him, a hand tucked beneath your cheek as you give him a sigh.

"No. Not really, I'm excited." you admit, "I just can't seem to be tired enough."

"You know... I'm proud of you. I don't think I've told you that these days." Jungkook says as your brows shoot up in a silent surprise.

"Proud of me?" you breathe out a chuckle.

"Mhm," he hums, "I know you felt like a nuisance which is far from the truth, I know you hate relying on someone else but look at you. You've found yourself a new place, you've got a good job and you're doing good."

Your heart warms up at his thoughtful and caring words. They feel like the greatest balm onto your beating heart. To hear someone is proud of you – you don't get to hear that often – is something that makes you nearly emotional and you hold back any tears that might come out.

It's not Jungkook's intention to make you cry or him wanting to turn into a sappy person in the middle of the night. He's warm and caring when it's needed but he doesn't say this kind of stuff often either. So it makes you cherish this moment even more.

"Thank you." you whisper softly, smiling at Jungkook who you're not sure can even see you.

A gentle sound comes out of his mouth, the one who tells you he has smiled back.

A sudden urge to pee interrupts the moment though and you groan, informing Jungkook about having to use the bathroom. He laughs while you make your way to the bathroom. Once you're done, Jungkook seems to be still fully awake which isn't much of a surprise. You didn't expect him to be asleep in two minutes – which you wouldn't put past him too much.

You lay back on the bed, adjusting your pillow before your head falls back onto the soft material.

Not even five minutes later, you groan once again rather loudly, slapping your arms at your sides as Jungkook cackles silently. Standing up, you make your way to the kitchen when you turn on the dim lightning. Opening the fridge, you take out the cold bottle of wine that you and Jungkook haven't finished. You pour yourself a glass of wine, hoping for it to tire you some more.

Sipping on the wine, you try not to think about how depressing you must look like – mentally laughing at the image. You've got no thoughts, just simply enjoying the taste of wine and your last night at this place.

A sound of soft footsteps follows and a moment after, Jungkook joins you in the kitchen with squinted eyes as he scans you and the glass of wine in your hand. "You okay?" He cracks a grin as you silently giggle and nod.

Are you? You're not sure because of the lack of clothing he's wearing. You swear you could stare at those abs all day.

"Just can't sleep."

"And wine is going to help?" He grins, wrapping his fingers around your hand as he tilts the glass in his direction as he takes a sip. Lips in a straight line for a second, he tastes the flavor on his lips while his eyes flicker to yours, waiting for your answer.

Too preoccupied with staring at him, you realize you haven't responded as you avert your gaze and crack another grin. "Should it not?"

He leans against the counter, arms crossing over his chest and biceps bulging, you choose to take a sip to distract yourself. But trying to distract yourself in Jungkook's presence is almost impossible, especially when he opens that dirty mouth of his.

"I could've tired you out in a much more sophisticated way."

The wine almost gets through your nose and with a hand over your mouth, you're trying not to choke as Jungkook shoots you a pleased smirk.

He might've caught you off guard, but you can't deny what could possibly be a verbal act of teasing, does to you. Your body heats up at his suggestion and instead of scolding him, you decide to play his own game. That's what the two of you do, right? Tease each other until you properly act on it. You wouldn't mind that outcome to be honest.

"You could've. I don't know why you didn't suggest it while we were in bed." you hum, turning to him a little as you swirl the goldish liquid in your glass.

Jungkook's eyes spark with mischief and amusement, tongue poking his cheek. "I don't need a bed for that though."

One point for him.

"Hm, really?" you muse, biting your lower lip as you finish the glass and place it back on the counter.

Stepping closer to him, you're face to face as you confidently place your palms over his buffed exposed chest. The skin is warm and soft, edging you to feel him up until you have enough. Controlling yourself, you focus on his eyes instead while something rolls in the pit of your stomach. Palms giving him soft caressing, staying solely on his chest, you mimic his tiny smirk.

"So you could ruin me?" You recall what he told you.

The truth is, you haven't forgotten and you've caught yourself thinking about it too many times. What are Jungkook's boundaries? What does he want to do to your body? Perhaps if this was any other man, you wouldn't be so adamant on finding out. But you trust Jungkook with every fiber in your body, there's nothing but curiosity, excitement and lust.

Something flickers in his gaze, a recognition of his once said words as he stares you down amusingly.

"I know what you're doing."

"Hm, what am I doing?" you ask, playfully glancing at him once again as you catch yourself staring at his chest, where your hands caress it.

"You little minx, you know." he chuckles, "You're trying to provoke me."

"Oh, I do?" you feign innocence, chuckling at yourself right after while you and Jungkook share a knowing look.

This constant teasing and provoking is what makes your body heat up. It's hard not to squeeze your legs together as a wave of arousal washes through you.

Jungkook leans down, hands on your lower back as he squeezes your sides, inching his face closer to yours. His nose touches yours and you're embarrassed how quickly you're prepared for the kiss. But the kiss never happens and Jungkook decides to play with you for a while, nudging his nose against yours before he opens his dirty mouth again.

"You horny?"

Groaning and ignoring his laugh, you slap his chest and take a step back. "You just ruined it."

He laughs louder, rubbing his nose before he catches you before you can walk away, turning you with your back facing him. He presses you against him, your ass touching his crotch while he squeezes your hips once again.

"What's ruined can be fixed."

And then he delivers a soft kiss to your jaw.

"That's very debatable." you breathe out, turning around as much as you enjoyed his lips on your skin.

Wanting to gain at least some kind of dominance, you press him harder into the counter as you raise your brow at him in challenge. A tiny smirk comes to your lips. Your hands no longer stay on his chest, making way down to his abs that flex under your touch and you let out a breathy chuckle. Jungkook's watching you, cocking his brow at you when you glance at him. He's waiting for your next step and deciding you want to make him react, you cup his groin as your thumb caresses the head hidden beneath his boxers.

He wasn't expecting you to do that, therefore he flinches at the sudden and straight-forward touch and your lips curve in a silent win.

"What? You think you're the only one with tricks up their sleeve?" you tease, his doe eyes narrowing as he licks his lips.

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and you feel your walls of short-lived dominance and power falling down. Especially when he flickers gently your chin with his index finger.

"Not at all."

"So?" You raise your brow in impatience again.

"So, what?"

You roll your eyes while he tries to hide a smile. "I'm starting to think you're all talk, Jeon."

His brows shoot up before he nods with his lips pursed in a mocking manner.

"Yeah, you are. Talking about ruining me, then saying I'm not ready. Whatever that means... and then you don't do any–what the hell?"

Tucking his arms behind your thighs, in one swift movement you're thrown over Jungkook's shoulder. He tries to stabilize you through your yelps and once you're safe, he starts walking to his bedroom.

A rush of excitement overcomes your body and just when you giggle, a slap is delivered onto your ass which shuts you up.

Before you can say anything, Jungkook kicks the bedroom door ajar and sets you onto his bed.

"You want me to ruin you?" he asks, standing at the end of the bed as he stares down at you and your disheveled appearance due to your shock.

Walking to his nightstand, he turns off his night lamp and you get a perfect view of his darkened eyes.

"Isn't that what I asked for?" you breathe out, not hiding how breathy you got all of a sudden. The adrenaline and lust do their job.

"I will ruin you until you cry." It sounds like a promise.

"You sound confident." you comment, smirking as he frowns before he hovers over you.

Not responding, he starts kissing your jaw slowly continuing down your neck as he tugs on your oversized shirt but he doesn't urge you to take it off. Nor he says anything once he pulls away, giving you a subtle smirk before he plops on his back in the middle of the bed. He lowers down onto the soft pillows.

"Come here."

You sit up, confused and curious, and make your way towards him as he ushers you to get on his lap. You do, trying not to stare at the slowly growing bulge between his thighs while he licks his lips.

"Sit on my face."

"Pardon?"

He laughs silently, making himself even more comfortable with your weight on him. "Sit on my face."

You know what that means. Despite not trying it before, you're not a clueless person to these things. You just can't believe you're actually hearing him say it.

"I know it's cliché to say this but... wouldn't I suffocate you? Because I'm not sure if I can hold myself up for too—"

"Y/N, baby," he sighs, "Just fucking come sit on my face."

"Okay." you repeat, releasing a nervous chuckle as you stare down at your shirt.

"Take it off. All of it." he prompts you and you listen.

His eyes never leave your figure, watching silently the entire time you undress right in front of him. He eyes you up and down as if you were the finest meal, even though he has seen you naked more than any of the men you've been before. Men – if they can be called that.

It's one of the things why it works so well between you and him. He makes you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. There might be times when you're nervous, wondering what he's thinking about you or your body, though he never gave you even a reason to question him about that. Jungkook might be great at hiding a lot of things, but voicing how much he likes sex with you is not one of them. You both aren't hiding this obvious fact.

He stares at your hardened nipples, before he watches you take off your underwear and toss it on the floor. And then with the slightest smirk, he motions for you to get closer to him and finally sit on his face.

You're impossibly wet, but rather than feel embarrassed about it, you get this boost of confidence and dominance once you hover over Jungkook. He grabs you by the back of your thighs, moving your heat right in front of his face as he takes in the sight. Licking his lips, he briefly tells you to grab onto the headboard.

His hot breath fans you between your thighs and you shudder, your hands grabbing the wooden headboard before he pushes you down onto his face. You gasp, both from the shock and indescribable feeling of Jungkook's mouth on you. His nose pokes your clit, tongue gathering the wetness before his mouth starts to move.

You're trying to hold yourself up, somewhere in the back of your mind still thinking about not wanting to physically hurt him but as soon as you move even an inch from his face, he growls and pushes you down.

"Holy shit."

Jungkook's mouth is preoccupied, therefore there is no time for any verbal reactions but even then, he hums pleasantly against you and you swear you hear him moaning in the middle of it.

Back arching and body moving on its own, you start grinding against his face while your knuckles turn white from how hard you're gripping the black wood. Apart from this being a completely new sensation and experience for you, you would give Jungkook the highest rate there could be. Losing a track of time and focusing on the pleasure, you inform him of being close to reaching an awesome orgasm that could easily tire you out.

Your body tenses, barely comprehending what's happening around you or even outside of this apartment, you're waiting for the sudden snap of the knot that's sitting in the pit of your stomach.

But as easily the hunt for orgasm has come, it leaves even quicker once Jungkook stops moving his mouth and pushes you up. Your face is curled in mortification, worried you might've suffocated him and the fit of scolding is on tip of your tongue once you quickly check on him.

However – despite his heavy breathing – you're met with his glistening face and mouth curved in satisfaction. "You're not cumming that easily, baby."

You get off him, staring wide-eyed with an open mouth, you stutter over your words. Is he seriously in the mood to deny your orgasm? You wanted to play but this is now what you had in mind. But before any complaints could make it into the thick air, Jungkook sits up and wipes his face with your shirt that's been laying on the edge of his bed. He tosses it on the ground, focusing on you once again as he grabs you by the back of your neck and kisses you harshly.

Annoyance comes and goes as soon as you feel his soft pillows, tasting yourself on his tongue. He hums into the kiss, detaching your lips despite your whines.

Leaning his forehead against yours, you're too close to kiss him again. As if he could read your mind, he chuckles raspily as he gently shakes his head.

"Jeon, just fuck me." you whine, pouting at him which makes him laugh again.

"I will," he promises, gently giving a rub to your chin with his thumb. "Do we need a condom?"

He asked what?

Surprised, you pull away slightly to stare at his face to make sure you heard him right, but the same question lingers in his dark awaiting eyes.

"You heard me right," he assures you, chuckling again as he can't help but find you both funny and cute. "Do we need a condom?"

You don't realize what weight his question holds, though it's pretty simple. He's asking you if you want to act upon your desire now. The one that's been on your mind for what seems like forever. Maybe now it's not the right time to be thinking how much you appreciate him asking you beforehand, even though it's a bare minimum you would discuss anyway. But still, he's waiting for your answer and the call is completely up to you. You're the one holding power.

Knowing you could easily say no for whatever reason, Jungkook has definitely a pack of condoms hidden somewhere. He's letting you know he's fine with either.

"Are you sure?" you ask silently, trying to shake yourself out of the shock as he gives you a gentle smile that almost melts your heart.

"I am," he confirms, "Are you?"

This being the last night you actually live together, it does seem like a nice way to say goodbye to you being roomies, a way to celebrate it perhaps. Or it's just your stupid thoughts but whatever it is, you've known your answer right after he asked it. All the possible arguments with yourself or annoying overthinking is pushed aside.

"We don't need it." you confirm this time, ignoring how excited you're getting by the thought.

"Then lay back for me."

You do, staring at the ceiling for a second before you watch him make his way out of the room. Confused and baffled, you mentally sigh in relief once he comes back not even a minute after, showing you the sex toy in his hand.

"Why?" you ask simply, giggling when he tosses it next to you and hover over you with a toothy grin.

"You'll see."

Opening your mouth to complain, he shuts you up with his own mouth as he gives you a few very needed kisses as he pulls away. You rank your hands down his chest and to the hem of his boxers, pouting a little.

"I wanted to have my own fun with you." you shamelessly admit, making him laugh.

"Some next time, yeah?"

"But why?" you whine, rubbing him through his underwear just to find him fully hard.

"Oh, you're impatient, aren't you?" you tease and he rolls his eyes, poking you in your rib as you giggle.

"That might be the reason. But I also need you to be fully present. You can choke on my cock some other time."

You choke on your spit, slapping his bicep as he hides his face in the crook of your neck to hide his smile. He gently bites you there, a low hum making it out of your mouth. Despite his words, you still sneak your hand under his boxers and give him a few pumps. He lets out a breathy chuckle, looking down at you through lust filled eyes.

"You just can't help yourself, can you?" he chuckles.

"Nope."

The smile on your face doesn't last long, how can it when in one swift motion, Jungkook turns you over and harshly puts your ass up, hands gripping the soft flesh. His breath fans over the side of your face before his lips brush against your ear. "Is this how you want it?"

Honestly, you don't care in what position he puts you in. As long as he finally fucks you.

"Yeah. Just please, do something." you whine a little, perching your ass up much to his amusement.

He palms your ass. "Last chance, Y/N." Jungkook reminds you, causing you to lift your face up as you glance at him.

Blowing out a slow breath, you crack a tiny grin. "You want me to change my mind?" you tease, but raise your brow while you wait for his answer.

"Just reminding you because there's no going back."

The only reason he's reminding you of this is because of you. At the beginning, you had a hard time admitting out loud you want him like this. Most people probably don't take this seriously just as much as you do. You've been unsure from the start, though the excitement and curiosity has been piqued. You're responsible, always took precautionary measures – both of you did – because you're not in a position to risk anything. Jungkook and you don't sleep with other people, that's the whole point of you hooking up together in the first place. But you both still made sure you were safe.

But now you're about to take that part of safety away. It makes you a little paranoid, considering Jungkook's previous situation but it's not fair to compare it to that. That's what has been stopping you from fully saying fuck it and just do it. But you want to do exactly that.

Why is this even a big deal?

People have unprotected sex all the time. You and Jungkook know each other, and trust each other. He's not a stranger. You'll do this one time and you're done. You'll quench your curiosity, excitement and thirst – everything will go back to normal.

You're done overthinking this. This is what you want. What you both want.

And Jungkook is still here, making sure he won't possibly ruin things. He wants to check in with you, even now when you're seconds from pinning him to the mattress and doing things your own way.

"I know," you whisper. "I don't want to go back. I won't."

He studies your face for a second longer, leaning toward you as he presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder blade. You shiver, arching your ass as it brushes over his length making him chuckle at your anticipation.

"Alright, let's do this. Let me ruin you."

"I'm all yours." you comment amusingly, facing forward as Jungkook lets out a soft laugh.

Fuck, this is really happening. Your heart is racing when you hear Jungkook taking off his boxers, going back to his previous position that is behind you. The mattress dips under his weight and knees, hands gripping your ass as he spreads your cheek apart. Cool air hits you between your thighs, your core aching for him and only him. Fuck, you've never wanted him inside you this much.

"You're dripping baby." he says as the tip of his fingers touches your wetness, rubbing you up and down which makes you let out a shameless whimper.

"Don't comment on that, it's embarrassing." you manage to choke out, cheek pressed back against the sheets while your breathing quickens up.

Jungkook breathes out another chuckle, "I find it hot."

He retrieves his fingers, something you only feel and ready to whine again, you're interrupted when you hear a humming sound coming from his lips as he licks his fingers off. Holy shit. There's no time to look back, to see the devouring sight that's stolen from you because of your position. All is forgotten when the long awaiting friction suddenly comes, the head of his cock poking your clit as he smears your wetness there. You're a fucking mess. 

Embarrassed to admit this, you're already close to cumming and he has barely done anything. You're not kidding, you're going crazy because of this.

One hand on your hip to hold you in place and get a good grip on you, his other hand is wrapped around his cock as he aligns it with your hole. Holding your breath, your whole body tingles with anticipation and excitement. And then finally. The head of his cock presses against your opening, sinking inside you as your wet and warm walls stretch around him. Since you haven't been stretched before this, the pressure brings the greatest pain and pleasure at the same time and holy fuck, it feels like you're in an entire different universe. You feel every inch of him, everything you haven't felt before because of the stupid barrier in form of condoms. And even knowing that he's still pushing himself inside you, you know it's going to be freaking hard to go back to condoms.

Whole body shuddering, you let out a low, almost inaudible moan into the sheets, gripping them in your fists as Jungkook finally fills you to the brim. Oh my god.

"Mhm, fuck." he mutters behind you, his cock twitching inside you.

The completely new feeling comes rushing down on you as your whole body crumbles down, walls clenching around his thick and hard length as you shamelessly grind and let go. This has never happened to you before, the realization not hitting you until you calm down from your high.

"Holy fuck. Did you just cum?" Jungkook asks in awe, hands gripping your ass even tighter.

Fuck, you really did. 

It's more than clear to him. He could never mistake your orgasm for something else. But rather than tease you about it, he finds it hot and has a hard time controlling himself.

His cock is nestled deep inside you, still stretching your walls and despite your previous orgasm, your thirst is not fully quenched.

"Fuck." you moan into the sheets.

"You're so fucking hot. I might bust my nut." The idea of him doing it, filling you up feels so forbidden and dirty. The feeling that it brings is unexplainable.

He feels you clenching around him, arousal coating his entire cock and it makes him wonder. "Fuck, does that idea excite you?"

You're even dirtier than he thought. You never fail to amaze him.

He knows he can't expect any sort of response from you, your body calling to him and he decides to listen to it, delivering you the pleasure he promised he would. So with one swift movement, he pulls out enough for the head of his cock to stay inside you as he thrusts back inside. You can't speak, no words escaping you to tell him how fucking good that feels but he knows it. He sees how your body reacts, he feels it.

He groans, tilting his head back as he starts snapping his hips into yours, fucking you just like he promised. His lower abdomen hits your ass cheeks as the sounds of your skin meeting fill up the air. It's nothing you've ever imagined or dreamed of. This is way better. Breaths coming out as moans, you swallow hard when you catch yourself almost salivating at the sensation and friction.

There are no words exchanged, both of you barely able to speak as keeps his pace and hits all the right spots. You feel him almost in your stomach, the dominance of his thrusts bringing you pain and pleasure.

You're close to losing it. You nearly do but then Jungkook halts all his thrusts, pulling out before he puts you onto your back.

He has never seen you so fucked out already. But your eyes are on him, surprised at the sudden change but the lust filled in them is unmistakable. He's glad he left the lights turned on, or else he wouldn't be able to admire what a pretty sight you are.

The same thing goes for you. Jungkook is driven by the lust, his entire face glowing as he traces his tattooed hand over your chest. Taking you by your thighs, he pulls you closer to him – fast and harshly – spreading your legs as he aligns with your opening again.

You both stare at each other, Jungkook dropping his eyes between your bodies for a second before he pushes in. His eyes stay on you, your own fighting to close as the same and most addicting pleasure rushes through your entire body. But you force and keep them open, both of you moaning as he fills you up. The angle is different this time, his cock pressing onto the opposite side of you and you swear if you pressed on your stomach, you would be able to feel him.

However, you don't dare to move. You're too scared to cum again and you're not sure for how long you can go before your body shuts down.

He grips you by the back of your thighs, keeping his hands there as he starts fucking you again. He watches you with dark and lust filled eyes, biting onto his lower lip harshly when you grip the sheets beside you, turning your knuckles white. With each thrust he makes, your breasts bounce, his eyes shifting between them and your own eyes before he averts his gaze to your bodies meeting.

He's watching the way he disappears inside you, his entire cock glistening with your wetness as it drips down your ass and his balls while your clit is swollen and nipples perked up. Holy fuck.

"You like it?" he asks, finding his voice that comes out way raspier than you both expect. "You like feeling my cock like this, huh?"

"Mhm, yes, fuck." you moan, shutting your eyes in pleasure as your mouth stays open.

You're left gasping, no other words leaving your mouth when he pulls out, just to press your thighs together and angling your legs to the left, as they stay pressed against the mattress before he enters you. The change of the new position makes you see stars, your teeth biting into your lower lip harshly as he's rougher this time. He's hovering over you, hands beside your body as your body shakes with pleasure.

It's safe to say you're in a complete another world right now. The amount of pleasure you're experiencing right now – you've never had that before and it feels so fucking good that it has your eyes water. You can't even make out what you're saying, every word coming out as a moan or gasp instead. But you're not loud. You're not screaming your lungs out, informing all the neighbors about your doings even though Jungkook could care less about that.

Instead, the sounds you make are soft and almost innocent like, it makes Jungkook go feral because you're anything but innocent in this moment. You're so fucked out, completely swallowed by the lust and approaching orgasm. You feel like a fucking trophy. Any guy having a woman in their bed acting like this would feel like the king of the world.

He grips the side of your face, your eyes slowly opening as you share a look. You get even tighter, Jungkook's hips halting for a second before he continues the same pace. Hand lowering to your neck, you grip his wrist and prompt him to wrap his hand around it. That's exactly what he did. You can't remember when was the last time he had his hand around your neck, the memories of it are almost faded as he gently applies pressure.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He's careful, you know he is and he never squeezes your neck to the point you would have trouble breathing. Yet his hand feels heavy and it has your eyes rolling back. I'm close, you want to say but fail miserably.

Despite Jungkook's roughness, he's still delicate in other matters because he knows. He's watching you the entire time, listening to your body and your orgasm approaching doesn't go unnoticed by him.

"Cum around my cock, baby." And that's all you need for you to let go, not even five seconds after he says it that your whole body tenses before the knot snaps inside you.

He hisses, feeling you clenching around him uncontrollably as he keeps his pace until he's forced to slow down and eventually stops once he sees you overstimulated. Pulling out, his cock slaps against his stomach, red and angry.

You open your eyes, finding Jungkook watching you as you give him a lazy smile. "I'm in heaven."

A rumble of laughter leaves his mouth, leaving you giggling as well as he brushes a few strands of your hair off your face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fucking great," you hum, catching the cocky and pleased smirk he gives you. "Give me a minute."

He leans on his knees, trying to ignore his cock screaming for attention as your eyes shamelessly stare at it. "You sure?"

"You wanted to ruin me, no?" you joke, Jungkook's lips twitching as he cocks his head to the side.

"Aren't you ruined?"

To be honest, what state you're in is not what he had in mind. There is still more he's got prepared for you, but he wouldn't want to push you past your boundaries. You already look like you're fucked out, but considering you're cracking a grin and talking to him seems like you're doing fine, still high from the mindblowing orgasm.

"'m fine. You can ruin me some more." you grin again lazily, making your legs more comfortable as you stretch them right in front of him. In your defense, it's not about flashing him but not wanting to have a cramp from the position he had you in.

But you still enjoy the way his eyes avert down between your swollen cunt, a cum mixed with your arousal dripping out of your hole. He makes you feel sexy. Especially when he looks up, meeting your gaze as you give him a sheepish smile, not embarrassed by what he sees. Because it's all thanks to him.

"Come here." you tell him, motioning with your finger to come closer as he arches a brow.

He hovers over you, silently watching as you wrap your hand around his neck while the other brushes over his chest. And then you say with the silent and most delicate voice; "Kiss me."

"You want to kiss?" he amusingly asks, pecking your lips even though a peck wasn't what you had in mind and he knows it. Teasing sh–

But he kisses you again, this time his tongue brushing against yours as he fully devours your mouth. "Have to get into the mood." you inform him between the kisses, using the moment for you to catch a breath.

"Mhm, you're no longer in the mood?" he hums against your lips as you giggle.

His hard cock brushes against your entrance and you have to control yourself from whimpering. You're all hot again, definitely not done for tonight but you're still very sensitive.

Jungkook's breath fans over your jaw, teeth nibbling onto your jaw as he says in a low tone. "We can arrange that."

Just when you think he's about to kiss you, he shoots you a smirk as he inches down, eyes still locked with yours. It's until he focuses on the swollen mess between your thighs and gives a gentle kiss to your clit. You gasp, flinching from the sensation as he looks up from between your legs to check your reaction.

"Think you can take it?"

Can you? 

You're not sure what possesses you, you know you're still sensitive down there and need a little bit of time to recover but you nod, spreading your legs even more, inviting him to continue. And god, he does. He has no mercy on you, attaching his mouth onto your cunt as he starts eating you out.

He grabs you by your thighs, mumbling a deep; "Stop running."

Not even a minute later, the complete lust comes back and there's no trace of overstimulation as you grind against his mouth that's been doing wonders. Your hands are uncontrollable, gripping and tugging onto Jungkook's hair as he growls into your center, listening to your pleas.

"I can't. I can't. I need you inside me." you plead between your moans, two orgasms already overcame which can't be said about Jungkook, who has put your pleasure first.

That's not fair, you think. Besides, you want him inside you again.

Jungkook pulls out with his chin completely drenched in your wetness, the sight making you gulp. He wipes it with the back of his hand, smearing some of it onto the sheets as he straightens up, pumping his cock slowly with his eyes set on you.

You rest onto your elbows, lifting yourself while you watch him jerking himself off. You just can't seem to pull your eyes away.

"Are you gonna spread yourself out for me or you just want to watch?" he smirks.

Ignoring his cocky attitude, you can't even react as you gulp down the saliva that gathered in your mouth. You sit up, shifting your eyes to his gaze as you turn around and get back on all fours.

"Fuck," You hear behind you. "You're the death of me."

Proudly smirking, you throw him a pleased and cocky look across your shoulder. "You love staring at my backside that much?" you tease.

Both of you know it's you who loves this position. Both of you do actually, but this time it's you who does it automatically.

One of the rare times you get to tease him and actually feel like you're doing a good job, is when Jungkook shamelessly shows his admiration or whatever it is. He's not ashamed to compliment you or show how much he loves fucking you. But it's this never ending game between you two, one you always lose because Jungkook is one step ahead of you. Whenever you feel like you've won, he does a checkmate.

Just like now.

He slaps your asscheek, chest brushing against your back as he hovers over your ear and says with the lustful voice full of desire. "Shame I can't see your pretty face though."

Your body grows hot at that, cheeks flaming hot at the blunt compliment that makes you clench around nothing. This is the time where you've no idea whether he says this kind of stuff to make you all hot, to fluster you or because he really means it. Whatever he's doing, it's working and you're practically willing to do anything for him at this moment.

You haven't had many sex partners in your life to begin with, but none of them had such a dirty mouth and power to say such things to you. Damn, some time ago you never even knew this was your kind of thing. Jungkook has taught you so much, but most importantly you learned much about yourself thanks to him. Maybe he's not even realizing it but you are.

There's no beating around the bush, no more talking as Jungkook guides his hard cock to your opening and slowly enters you again. He lets out a pleased sigh, followed by a silent moan from you as your walls welcome him again. The sensation feels like the first time all over again. Someone would think you got used to it, this being the second time Jungkook enters you with no protection and barrier between you, but no. You can't get used to it, meaning it feels just as amazing when he entered you like this the first time.

One hand on your hip to hold you in place, he gives your asscheek a rough squeeze as he moves his other hand up and grabs you by the back of your neck. He gives you no warning this time, though maintains his gentle manner when he starts thrusting into you. You writhe beneath him in pleasure, moaning his name and pleas as he picks up the pace and makes your body grow even hotter.

Beads of sweat coats your skin, your mouth open in an absolute pleasure and desire. He keeps holding you down, getting needier and rougher with his thrusts while you can't even think straight. When you thought your eyes were watering before, it's even more intense now as your tears start pricking your eyes. He lets go off your neck, delivering your ass a proper slap and you lift yourself up, gripping the sheets beneath you as tears stream down your cheeks.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." you cry out. You've never heard yourself to be this desperate before. Let alone for a man. Sex does wonders. Jungkook does wonders.

"Fuck, look at me." he says, ushering to meet his gaze as you barely angle your face to look at him.

He leans what seems like toward you but you're mistaken when shortly after, you hear a familiar buzzing and before your fucked out mind can comprehend what he's doing, he's pressing the sex toy against your clit. A new wave and uncontrollable pleasure washes over you, leaving you sobbing loudly while Jungkook curses behind you. His eyes are shut, head leaned back as you get a clear sight of a line of sweat trailing down his neck and chest. He opens those dark lust filled eyes, your eyes meeting again and that's the final end for you.

He has officially ruined you. 

You've never cum harder, your body on fire and trembling as your walls squeeze him repeatedly as you squirt all over yourself. Jungkook audibly curses again, growling when your orgasm dies down and you have barely any strength to hold yourself up. It all happens quickly as he pulls out of you, gets you on your back as you stare at him through teary and exhausted eyes. He jerks off quickly, throwing his head back and cums with the deepest moan, spilling all over your stomach and chest.

Both of you sweaty and chests heaving rapidly, Jungkook hangs his head low as he looks at you through his fringe falling onto his eyes, some of the strands sticking to his forehead and face.

It's hard to describe exactly what you're feeling. Your heartbeat is in your ears, your chest hurts from how you're trying to catch a breath and amongst this all, you feel like you're ten seconds from passing out.

Even through his harsh breathing and his own need to calm down, he gets closer to you and cups your face. "Are you with me, baby?"

Baby? What's he thinking? He has already ruined you, there's no need for more.

You give him a brief nod, your eyes closing.

"Shit."

Why does he sound so alarmed? 

"Look at me baby."

You do. You're aware of what he's saying, you're not literally passing out but your body needs a minute or two to recover. You just can't seem to properly react.

You're met with concerned eyes as Jungkook squeezes your cheeks to get a proper look at you. You lick your lips, letting out a tired and amused chuckle. "Thought you killed me? You're not gonna get rid of me so easily." you say completely exhausted, sounding like you could be high or wasted.

He only stares, a beat of silence before his whole face and body relaxes as he lets out a sigh and chuckle of relief. Still, he lets his eyes linger all over your face as he watches you. You crack a smile, wiping your forehead with the back of your head as he brushes your hair off your sweaty forehead.

"You squirted all over me." he teases lightly.

"You came all over my stomach. We're even." you joke, getting a warmed sound laugh from him.

"You cried." he comments, wiping your cheeks. "It was hot."

"You ruined me." you comment back with a tired chuckle.

"You wanted to get ruined."

"Hm, I did." you hum.

He cracks a smile. "I'll bring you water, alright? I'll be right back and wipe the mess off you."

"Mhm." You close your eyes again, feeling like you can breathe again as Jungkook rushes out of the room to get you the water.

He comes back not even a minute after with a glass and a towel, ushering to sit down and drink the whole glass. You do as he watches you every second, barely blinking. Rolling your eyes, he does the same before he starts wiping his cum from your stomach and chest. He moves to between your thighs shortly after, cursing under his breath when he sees how swollen you are. You start wincing as soon as he starts.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he apologizes quickly, wincing as if it hurt him too when the overstimulation is too uncomfortable.

He goes away to toss the towel to the laundry basket and comes back shortly after wearing shorts, finding you sitting on the edge of his bed. It makes him laugh at how innocent you look, despite you're still completely naked.

"I'm going to shower." you announce before he gives you a dubious look.

"Will you manage by yourself?"

"Yeah." you tell him, standing up too abruptly which makes you stumble.

He quickly moves to catch you, biting back a laugh when you're about to take a step and wince. You shoot him a glare, silently telling him it's his fault. The soreness you currently feel between your legs is making it hard to walk. You're so sore already, wondering how the hell you're going to walk and function properly tomorrow.

Jungkook lets you go, leaving you to wash yourself as you embarrassingly limp to the bathroom. When you're in the shower, palms against the warm and wet tiles, you replay everything that has happened. You can't believe you and Jungkook did this. You bite your lips to prevent yourself from squealing, washing away all the sweat and body fluids off your body.

In the midst of it, Jungkook knocks on the door and brings you clothes, leaving after he checks on you.

After Jungkook's turn to wash himself, he joins you in the bed where you're dozing off. "So, what are you sayin'? Did you like it?"

"Honestly?" you ask, nibbling on your bottom lip as Jungkook hums. You chuckle at yourself as you admit; "It's gonna be hard to use condoms again."

Why the hell did you just say that? You mentally scold yourself. Now you sound like you don't want protected sex. Perhaps you're overreacting because Jungkook never sounds like you assume things will be different. You both know it's responsible for you to use them again. It was never spoken but it's clear this was one time thing.

"And how are you feeling?"

"So fucking sore," you complain, whining. "I won't be able to move in tomorrow! This has been your plan all along, right? Admit it." you joke, making him laugh.

"You got me."

You both laugh, tiredly and lazily until your laugh dies down. "Kook?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think, um... how to say it?"

"Just say it."

Argh! This thought crossed your mind while you were showering. You feel content. You're not exactly paranoid and surprisingly, you're not freaking out over having sex without a condom. You're happy and you wouldn't change your decision. You regret nothing.

Fumbling with your fingers on top of the freshly changed sheets, you bite the inside of your cheek.

"Do you think maybe I should buy a morning after pill? Just in case..."

Jungkook stays silent but gives his answer seconds after. "If it makes you feel better," he says lightly.

You're on birth control, you haven't missed your pills and you have no knowledge if you can still take a morning after pill. Groaning, you reach for your phone and start doing your research in the middle of the night.

"Okay. It says here there's no need since I'm on the pill." you inform, not even sure if Jungkook is awake before he hums tiredly in return. You roll your eyes at him. "Yah!" you whisper harshly.

"Relax. I didn't even cum inside you."

"Okay but there's always a chance!" you exclaim as Jungkook sighs.

"That would have to be a fucking luck, that's all I'm saying." he mutters into his pillow, turning with his back to you. Men.

He had luck in that department, you think. He was surely having sex with her more often, unprotected for sure and you're also sure he finished inside her most of the time. Argh, why the fuck are you thinking about this and their sex life?

Groaning at yourself, you lock your phone and place it back onto the nightstand. It's better to finally surrender to exhaustion, hoping you'll at least get a good sleep despite the throb and soreness between your legs. Everything's going to be just fine.

"Oh shit! This place is actually nice!"

Looking at Taehyung in a silent offense, you snort at his huge grin as he looks around your new place. Boxes are everywhere and most of your things don't have their own place, but it looks pretty good either way – especially if Taehyung says it with an impressed look while Jimin joins him.

"I know, right? Come on guys, I will show you around."

"Where's Jungkook?" Jimin asks as Taehyung snaps his head in his direction.

"In the bedroom, assembling my bed again." you laugh, feeling actually bad for him to do that again since it's not that long when he did it at his own place.

Taehyung laughs, though it sounds forced which makes you narrow your eyes at him as you silently question him. "Why are you so awkward?"

"Come on, let's go." Jimin says, placing his hand on your back as he leads you further down the apartment.

You glance confusingly at them before shaking your head. What's wrong with them? They meet Jungkook after you give them a quick tour and shortly after, they help you unpack some of your stuff. Taehyung and Jimin stay in the living room while you keep hopping between them and Jungkook who is soon done with your bed. You order three pizzas for all of you, a nice gesture as a 'thank you' that they decided to help you because you couldn't do it without them. They're a huge help.

Although, Jimin is surprisingly quiet and when you went to check on them earlier, you found him and Taehyung bickering. If that's what it was but they quickly went silent once they spotted you.

You're not sure if Jungkook has noticed it but he hasn't said anything so far, quietly munching on the pizza with pouty lips and big eyes. You steal glances at Jimin who barely says anything and Taehyung is surprisingly quiet too, even though he tries to break the silence with awkward small talk or jokes which aren't like him.

"What's with you?" you ask, interrupting Taehyung in the midst of his 'casual joking' as he shuts his mouth and puts it into a straight line before he sighs.

The empty boxes of pizzas are gone, ready to be thrown out once there will be more boxes to take outside. You bought beer for all of you as well, wanting to have a mini-party with them at your new place.

Jimin's eyes don't look too different and his face doesn't say much which makes you question his unusual behavior. You're clearly missing out something and even Jungkook studies Jimin with scrunched brows.

"You're being suspiciously quiet today." you voice out your thoughts, seeing Jimin giving you a look – one that confirms your assumptions.

"You guys are quiet today too." he points out and you make a weird face because he doesn't make any sense.

"We've been literally talking almost every minute." you chuckle, giving him a weird look.

"Yet you never mentioned you guys are hooking up again." he bluntly calls you and Jungkook out, noticing the edge in his voice as you feel your stomach drop. For a second, you're assured you've heard him wrong and you must be hallucinating.

You awkwardly choke on your spit, glancing at Jungkook who's simply staring at Jimin but you see surprise in his eyes too, though his reaction is more subtle and controlled which can't be said about you. Jimin leans against the couch, lifting a brow at the both of you as you look at Taehyung whose face is burning with guilt. And you don't need any more answers because you give Taehyung an unimpressed look.

"It happened! I'm sorry guys!" he quickly exclaims, shooting his arms all over the place. "I got drunk and somehow–"

"Somehow you managed to tell him about this." you deadpan and Jimin sighs next to Taehyung.

"Don't get angry at him," Jimin says calmly, "Why didn't you guys tell me?"

You press your lips together, feeling bad for not telling him sooner but in fact, there weren't many opportunities. You didn't want to tell him such a private matter like "Oh, and by the way me and Jungkook are hooking up" – not that he has to know in the first place. But being friends with them for years now, you learned that you guys tell each other many things.

"We wanted to." Jungkook butts in, saving you from having to explain yourself through guilt. He sounds casual – not making it a big deal and you appreciate that. Jungkook has always been better at these things. You let your emotions get the best of you.

"And to be fair, Taehyung only knows by an accident." he adds, pointing out some important facts as Taehyung snorts.

"Yeah, found them in the kitchen with Jungkook's hands all over Y/N's ass." he snorts again and you shoot him a glare while Jimin scrunches his nose.

"I waited the whole day for you guys to tell me," Jimin says, "It's not like I'm mad at you for not telling me. But do you guys think it's a good idea?"

"Huh?" you blurt out as Jimin scowls.

"You are seriously hooking up?"

"Isn't that what we are talking about?" Jungkook mutters while Jimin shoots him a glare.

"You guys are gonna ruin your friendship." Jimin informs. Your mouth hangs open while Jungkook scoffs at Jimin's sharp words while Taehyung gives Jimin an offended look as if those words were aimed at him.

"Jimin–"

"No, they need to hear this. You've been best friends for years, the thing you did before was fucking stupid but this? You're choosing to just sleep with each other? You're seriously willing to risk your friendship for sex?"

Jimin words are sharp but they hold a truth to them as well. It's everything you're afraid of too but you convinced yourself this is just a period of time where you have fun. You and Jungkook made sure it's pretty chill and casual. And just like with your friendship, not many people fully understand you.

Jimin isn't particularly rude or sounds angry, he's just blunt and serious which is enough of a shock to you. He's always been soft spoken, even if honest, and you know he means well. Despite his words, his eyes remain somehow gentle even if there's a pinch of seriousness.

And you're left with no words leaving your mouth, taken aback, wishing that you could react somehow. But right now, it feels like a slap to your face from Jimin.

"I don't see how it's any of your business, Jimin-ah." Jungkook says, stealing a glance at your distraught face.

"Of course it's not. But you two are being reckless, so I'm just reminding you."

"So they fuck, and what?" Taehyung deadpans, "Let them have their fun."

"Taehyung-ah, excuse me but the only thing you know about relationships is fun. That is if that even can be considered as something related to a relationship."

"Yah, fuck you!" Taehyung exclaims and you would snicker at that under different circumstances for sure. "You suddenly got a girlfriend and you think you're a master of relationships? Just let them be. It's their decision and stop scaring them."

"I'm not scaring them," Jimin shakes his head with a chuckle before he looks up at you, his features softening as his eyes keep jumping between you and Jungkook. "Guys, I just think you need to hear this. And to be honest, I'm shocked to know you've been doing this for god knows how long. I thought you're smarter than that but you're fucking risking and that's the end of it."

"We have it under control." Jungkook informs him.

"Yeah, don't let those words bite you in the ass later." Jimin reminds him with a whistle which makes Jungkook frown and you stare at the two of them.

"Can we stop?" you speak up, slapping your knees in the process as you gain their attention.

"Y/N," Jimin says softly, inching closer to you as you stare at him with big and sad eyes. "You guys are totally entitled to do whatever you want. I just don't want you guys to ruin your friendship with this. I've thought your friendship is precious and special, not this special."

Your cheeks heat up. "And it is special." you whisper.

It's clear that Jimin doesn't approve any of this and you're aware that he is right. There are many risks you took – both of you – but in the end, you want to do this and you don't want to overthink it.

"You and Jungkook know the best, so I'm not gonna butt into this any more than I already have. I just want you guys to be reasonable and smart."

"Well, thank you for your input but we got it." Jungkook clasps his hands together and you crack a grin as the atmosphere loosens up a little.

"Yeah, they got it. Let them fuck." Taehyung shrugs and all of you burst into laughter.

"Can we not talk about this? Or make a big deal out of it? Me and Jungkook are fine, still best friends, right?" you say, looking at Jungkook who leans back and nods in your direction.

"Yeah, besties for life." He sends everyone a 'peace' sign as Jimin laughs while shaking his head.

"Right," Jimin nods, "Just don't hurt each other, okay?"

"I would never." Jungkook says immediately and you can only agree.

Jimin opens his mouth as if he's about to say something but then he closes it, changing his mind at the last minute. "Alright, you guys know what you're doing." he ends the topic with a simple sentence and all of you leave it at that.

"Okay, those two fuck each other, shocking. But we still haven't met your girlfriend. What is even her name? Does she exist?" Taehyung cocks his brow at Jimin who suddenly turns a little shy, grinning as he licks his bottom lip.

"She exists," he laughs, "Her name is Rin." he answers casually.

"Wait? Where is she from?"

"Japan."

"Oh my fucking god!" Taehyung rolls his eyes. "Let's pray she is nothing like Kiko then."

Your hand is over your mouth immediately while Jungkook frowns at him and Jimin looks offended.

"How did you meet her anyway?" But Taehyung remains unbothered as always, waving his hand as Jimin clears his throat.

"In a club?" Jimin asks as if it's not obvious. "We weren't spending our free time on other places too much." He reminds him as Taehyung utters 'True'.

"Wait," Taehyung suddenly stops. "Is she the girl you fucked a few months ago? The cute Japanese?"

Jimin's face reddens and all of you get an answer as Jungkook smirks, trying to hide it by tracing his fingers over his lips.

"Taehyung-ah."

"Look at you, getting all shy. I think I'm gonna be sick."

All of you burst into laughter, well excluding Jimin who pokes his elbow into Taehyung's side.

"Well, I think it's cute." you butt in, trying to save Jimin in this situation but all you get is a snicker from Taehyung in return.

"What's cute about it? He fucked the girl once and now he's dating her."

"Hey! You find love in all places."

"Yeah, yeah," he waves you off. "I heard Japanese females are loud and whiny in bed. Is that true?" he asks straight-forwardly and shamelessly stares at Jimin and Jungkook.

"Haven't you fucked a Japanese woman?" Jungkook asks instead, arching his brow as Taehyung rubs his chin in a deep thought.

"Yeah, I might've. The one or two I fucked were, so that's why I'm asking. Are all of them like that?"

The man has no shame.

"Taehyung." you mutter his name, scrunching your nose at the topic as he defensively looks at you.

"What? Are you whiny and loud too?"

You gasp, slapping his shoulder before Jungkook speaks up; "She can be."

It's the fact he says it with the utmost confidence and pride, your entire face feeling like it's on fire as you scold him loudly.

"Ew, I really don't want to hear about my two friends fucking. Thanks." Jimin mutters in disgust as Taehyung grins.

"You all are getting too soft." Taehyung comments, still with a grin as you roll your eyes.

"And you're getting too annoying, nosy–"

"Alright I get it, I get it." Taehyung shuts you up with his palm over your mouth. You lick his skin, expecting him to pull away but it's like he awaited you to do it because he doesn't pull away.

He grins instead and says; "Mhmm, more." He fakes a moan before he starts laughing like a maniac when you start slapping his arm, his hand eventually letting go off your mouth.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Taehyung suddenly jumps to his feet, giving you a curled smirk before he walks to his bag. "I brought you, uh, think of this as a housewarming gift."

"I didn't know we were bringing anything." Jimin mutters, pouting a little as he sheepishly scratches the back of his head while Jungkook frowns as well.

"You guys don't have to–what the fuck?!" you exclaim, your mouth hanging open as Taehyung turns around with a pair of pink and fluffy handcuffs, twirling them on his index finger.

It's an understatement that all of you stare at him as he comes up to you with a smirk and tosses the handcuffs into your lap as you stare at the object as if you have never seen it before. You never held one in your hands, that's for sure.

"Don't worry, they're new. Not used." Taehyung assures you, plopping on his previous spot as you glance at Jungkook who stares with big eyes at the handcuffs, just as surprised as all of you, before he relaxes and leans back into the chair.

"Wow, thank you for your thoughtfulness." you mutter dryly as Taehyung snorts.

You tuck your index over the opening, letting the handcuffs hang in the air as you inspect it. Tilting your brow at Taehyung, you give him a questioning look as he grins and shrugs.

"Just wanted to give you something fun."

"Yeah, and what's more fun than a pair of handcuffs?" you beam sarcastically as Taehyung grins even more.

"Right? A proper Taehyung gift!"

"I've got no words." Jimin mutters while you place the handcuffs next to you as Jungkook suddenly reaches for them.

Staring with an open mouth, you watch him twirl it in his hands as he shoots you a grin. "Thanks Taehyung, they'll come handy."

You ignore how much your body buzzes with a newfound excitement, rather focusing on the noise Jimin makes. A noise of disgust and annoyance as his whole face scrunches in one.

Deciding it's better to redirect the attention to somewhere else, you stand up and usher them to help you with the remaining boxes as they grunt but obey. That's why they're here after all. To help you.

Jimin and Taehyung start bickering, Jimin scolding him for even thinking of buying you such a thing and considering you know what he thinks of your arrangement with Jungkook, he surely voiced his opinion about it to Taehyung too.

Jungkook is the only one who's still sitting on his previous spot, now that the guys went to your bedroom it leaves you two alone. You catch the handcuffs from Jungkook's hands, trying not to melt at how lustful he looks with his legs spread and lap looking inviting.

"I will take this." you tell him, sounding tempted and teasing as Jungkook watches you with the biggest smirk on his lips.

"Be my guest."

You hear behind you as Jungkook follows you in your tracks and you give yourself a few deep breaths before you have to face your friends, and most importantly Jungkook, again.

Your friends leave late at night, apart from Jungkook who kindly decides to help you organize your small kitchen. Of course, Taehyung couldn't help but tease you on his way out, not forgetting to yell "Have fun" as Jimin cringed and tugged him out of your place. He didn't forget to imply Jungkook is staying at your place tonight either.

Despite your friend's teasing, he's still planning to go back home.

"You know, don't listen to Taehyung. You can still stay the night, it's late anyway." you speak not even a minute after they're gone, putting the cutlery to its designed storage box in your top cupboard.

It's not that big of a problem for him to get home. His car is parked in front of your building and the drive to his home is not even that long. On another note, you've been organizing and moving furniture all day until you decide to have a little hang-outs in between, which mostly consisted of you pouring the guys drinks and eating some snacks. It's a simple idea, one you're not against and from the looks of it, Jungkook is not either.

He still decided to stay a bit longer, helping you with your kitchen so you can start using it tomorrow morning with no problem. "I thought you wanted to get rid of me."

The teasing tone of his voice makes you crack a tired chuckle, giving him a short glance before you get back to your task.

"It's impossible to get rid of you, Jeon Jungkook." you joke, "I kinda like having you in my life though."

"Is that so?" he hums, cocking his brow teasingly.

"Mhm." you laugh, shutting the cupboard as you move onto the next one below where the rest of the kitchen tools will be.

He finishes placing plates in one of the cupboards, moving onto mugs and glasses where you assigned their place.

"Listen," he starts, clearing his throat. "About what Jimin said... are you okay?"

Besides moving into your new place being the top event of today, Jimin finding out and then giving you a lecture was big enough of an event itself. It's not something that is easily forgotten and even after that conversation was over, it still lingered at the back of your mind as you mildly felt embarrassed. You've never had that. You never felt embarrassed to do your own thing with Jungkook, no matter what anyone else would say.

Taehyung is the most supportive friend when it comes to this. Perhaps it has something to do with his own choice of lifestyle, but it doesn't matter. He still gets it. Sure, Jimin never intended to make you feel embarrassed and he's pretty much clueless about your inner feelings his words brought in you. His words still made more damage than you want to admit.

Glancing at Jungkook, you find his concerned eyes on you, the same ones you were staring at yesterday when you had a memorable moment together.

"It's just... he was a little harsh with his words and I wanted to check on you."

You know what he means. It's exactly what you were thinking about just a moment ago. Jimin is a reasonable friend. Incredibly caring too. Whereas Taehyung is up for any fun and loves freedom, supports freedom. Both of them are right in their own ways, you don't deny that.

"That was expected of him," you give him a forced chuckle, one that Jungkook easily detects and makes his brows furrow. But it's not something to worry about and you make sure to let him know. "I get what his point was."

"Yeah, I think we all gathered that." Jungkook mutters, making you snort.

"But what about you? Are you okay?"

"I can handle Jimin anytime." he answers, grinning while he makes you laugh.

Jungkook handles most things better than you. He's far more collected and doesn't let too much stuff get to him. Even though Jimin rooted some sort of doubts inside your head, you and Jungkook know the best how things truly are between you.

"Are you staying the night?" you ask, changing the topic after coming to the conclusion that you have no interest in overthinking this any longer.

Jungkook brings you peace and the trust between you is stronger than anything else.

"Do you want me to?" he teases.

Groaning, you throw your head back. "You really want me to say it, huh?"

"Hm, maybe."

Rolling your eyes at him, you purse your lips. "You're free to stay here. It's late anyway."

Jungkook lips twitch in amusement, though he doesn't comment on you purposely not saying it. "Fine. But I gotta wake up early."

"Early for what?"

"Gym."

"Oh my god. For real?" He really wants to wake up early for a gym?

He doesn't look offended by your lack of excitement for his healthy and active life-style at all. Rather than that, he finds it funny.

"Yeah. And then I've got one afternoon photoshoot to do."

"Okay, then we should go to bed. I can finish this tomorrow." you tell him, shutting the cupboards. He doesn't protest, both of you simultaneously letting out a yawn which makes you both laugh again.

It's been a long day and after taking a shower with Jungkook joining you in your bed shortly after, you fall asleep in a matter of seconds. You don't tell him but you're truly thankful for not only his help but his presence too. Whatever the reason behind him staying is, you're glad you're not your first night here alone and you have him by your side. Even when he's not there when you wake up, leaving you a note beside your bed.

"Gonna miss you roomie. Enjoy your new place and see you soon. – Kook"

The next time you see your friends is a few days after you've moved into your new place. The constant back and forth between trying to plan the camping trip in the group chat has caused you enough headaches throughout the week. It's not only up to you, Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung, but also their other friends that are coming too. No one expected for this to be easy but finding the right date, so everyone could go, has been the toughest task of the week.

Luckily, in the end everyone agreed on a date which happens to be the next weekend. You've had enough time to make your place fully liveable, decorated it to your wishes while your bank account is close to being empty. That's if you don't count the small savings you managed to not touch for your friend's vacation that is yet to be discussed. You're already scared.

The four of you are about to discuss further details that don't involve the rest of the group as much. It would be logical of you to go all together in one car – and that's how you thought it would be.

"Namjoon and Hoseok are bringing tents. And there's gonna be two rented caravans for some to sleep in. So I agree with Y/N, we should all go in one car. It saves money." Jimin says after your logical suggestion, which you didn't even think is up to debate because it just makes sense.

"Makes sense. Honestly, I don't care as long as I don't have to drive." Taehyung says, already munching on the chips which Jungkook has tossed him a second ago, because the guy was too lazy to get it for himself at his own place.

You've decided to meet up at Taehyung's place since it was the closest. All of you have to go to work tomorrow, so there's no time to hang out like you usually do. You only met up to figure out the entire trip, so you don't panic right before you have to leave. Plus, Taehyung is terrible at replying to messages and so is Jimin sometimes.

"About that," Jungkook starts, scratching the back of his head as he earns everyone's attention. "I sort of invited Ester too."

He did what? 

The silence that follows seems like it lasts cruelly long, but it's only you because even though the guys seem surprised by the news, they show no problem with that. Though that can't be said about you because you're staring dumbfoundedly at Jungkook, wondering if you heard him right.

"Great!"

"Why did you do that?"

You and Jimin say at the same time, Taehyung slowly putting more chips into his mouth as he stares at the three of you. Jungkook frowns confusingly, shrugging his shoulders as if not understanding why are you questioning him which makes your annoyance bubble even more.

"It sort of came out."

Sort of... You can't with this guy. The little scoff you let out is enough to give him away your thoughts.

"Isn't that so random though? It's a friend's trip. No one knows her besides you."

Not that you have anything against Ester. She's a nice girl and she never gave you a reason not to like her, but Jungkook's random invitation to a trip full of friends is just totally out of the blue and doesn't make sense. Even guys seemed surprised by it, but they decided not to comment on it.

"Then they'll get to know her."

It's Jungkook's bluntness and the look he's giving you that pisses you off and you have to hold yourself from springing off the couch.

"I don't see any problem–"

You don't let Jimin finish, completely ignoring him. "You've known her for five minutes."

That makes Jungkook's brow lift up. "And?"

"Why would you invite someone on this trip?" you exclaim, trying to grasp the meaning of this.

The last camping trip was your first one with all of them. And you've been friends with him, Jimin and Taehyung for years. Obviously, you were familiar with Hoseok and Jin but still, you knew each other before you were invited. The exact thing happened on New Year's Eve.

It might not be a big deal of him inviting her, but it doesn't make sense considering it's last minute and you're leaving in a few days. The amount of tents and caravans are already taken care of.

"I invited you."

That makes you gasp, "I'm your best friend!"

"Guys–" Jimin tries again but Jungkook shrugs again.

"She's my friend too."

Okay, that makes your blood boil. Is he really comparing you and Ester? You've no idea how this even escalated to this but you can't seem to calm down, even as Jimin tries to butt in while Taehyung tries to hide an amused grin.

"Where is she going to sleep anyway?" Taehyung speaks up, earning a "Thank you Taehyung" glance but of course the idiot has to ruin it. "I mean, she could share the tent with me." he adds cheekily which makes Jungkook scoff while you scrunch your nose in disgust.

"I will sort that out. I can always ask Namjoon if he has another tent, I'm sure he mentioned he has more than two or he can ask someone. You girls can share the tent."

You haven't really spoken about who shares a tent with who, but you kind of expected it to be like last time. Maya is also coming so she's going to share the tent with Namjoon, obviously. Then there's Jin who is going without Jia since she's pregnant and doesn't want to join this time, so he would share either the tent or caravan with Hoseok. Jimin and Taehyung shared the tent together and so did you and Jungkook.

Not to get things mixed up, you don't really care who you're sharing the sleeping space with. But the fact he's expecting you to share it with Ester because he decided to invite her all of a sudden just calls for a conflict. It's the audacity he's showing that makes you open your mouth in pure disbelief as you stare at Jungkook with a proper what the fuck written on yur face.

Also, not even Jimin decided to invite his girlfriend. His freaking girlfriend that would make a bigger sense to come since she's actually close to someone out of all people.

He sighs, "It came up. She wanted to make plans with me on that very weekend, we talked about it and it just came up."

"So you felt bad for her, so you invited her?" you question, arching your brow as Jungkook frowns.

"No," he says with the same frown, emphasizing the word. "Jimin wanted me to invite her somewhere a long time ago. Guys seem to be okay with it and the only person who seems to have a problem with it is you."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh shit." Taehyung mutters, straightening himself.

This whole situation is giving you a major whiplash. You and Jungkook barely argue, that can be seen even on Jimin's and Taehyung's faces as they look genuinely shocked by the exchange between you and Jungkook. You were fine.

You were texting and even Face-Timing a few times since you haven't had the chance to see him in person since you moved in. You were literally joking just minutes ago. And you know you are the one who has voiced your confusion, but you're not going to keep your mouth shut when you're genuinely baffled over this news.

"I don't see any problem here, seriously."

It's the tone he uses that makes you too stunned to speak. He's looking at you as if you were the enemy here and that kind of stings. He's here talking to you like this, looking at you like this for a girl he barely knows and that's when you know what triggers your anger and annoyance even more. You can barely remember times where Jungkook would be strict with you. The past few months have been the greatest months in your friendship, and you're not talking about the sex. You joked, teased each other, laughed... but now it's like you don't recognize you and him.

It's not that serious, just a change of opinions. But at this moment, you can't just keep your mouth shut and move on.

You're jealous. Jealous that he's here ready to argue with you over a girl who's apparently his friend. He makes you feel like you're the idiot here and you don't know, maybe you are but you don't like how he's acting.

"It's last minute, Kook..." Jimin starts, giving you a side-glance. He's looking at you as if you're about to jump and attack Jungkook. "But I'm sure it can be arranged. Girls can share the tent, sorry Tae but I'm not sure Ester would be happy to share it with you. We don't want to traumatize her."

He tries to joke, laughing awkwardly while still giving you the side-glance while your frown turns only deeper. Even Taehyung laughs and tries to fake disappointment from Jimin's words.

"I'm not sharing a tent with her." you stubbornly scoff, Jungkook glaring the hell out of you and you're ten seconds from showing him your middle finger.

"You're being difficult. I don't know what's your problem with her, but she's a nice girl. You met her."

"Share the tent with her then. Since she's your friend." You know you're being childish, you even sound like it and you ignore everyone's eyes on you which makes you uncomfortable.

"I don't know if that's appropriate. Her sharing it with a girl is more appropriate."

You know he's got a point. But still, stubborn as you are, you fold your arms over your chest and give him a sweet smile. "Should've thought about it before you invited her."

"Okaaaay, guys. There's no need to–"

"You're so selfish right now." Jungkook comments and you gasp.

"Kook, seriously." Taehyung mutters but you see red.

"I'm selfish? You invite your friend and I'm selfish because I don't want to share the tent with her? Since when is she my problem? You invited her, you deal with it, Jeon." You're raising your voice, though Jungkook doesn't look phased one bit as he scoffs and looks away, clenching his jaw.

"Fine. I will buy her a fucking tent if that's what it takes." Don't forget to fuck her in it. Wait, where did that come from?

"I thought it's a friend's trip too. I mean, I don't really mind if someone invites a plus one. I get both sides." Taehyung tries to reason.

Jungkook lets out a sigh. "I wasn't planning on inviting her but it happened. I don't see any big deal in this."

Oh my god, you're done.

"Okay, then I'm inviting Yoongi." you say with an attitude, Jungkook's head snapping to yours including Taehyung and Jimin.

You do regret saying it as soon as it leaves your mouth. Why Yoongi out of all people? What did you think? But you don't back away. There's no way you will embarrass yourself even more than you already have.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're being childish." Jungkook scoffs. Yes, you're petty and what?

"What? I thought we are allowed to invite friends."

"He is not even your friend."

"How would you know?" you bite back.

"Oh come on!"

"Alright, calm down you two." Jimin frowns, looking genuinely concerned despite his frown.

"No, I'm starting to like this." Taehyung says with a smirk, looking excited to witness this as you frown at him.

You stand up, straightening your pants as you give a look to all your friends. "Yoongi is coming too."

"You don't even like him. Seriously, this is ridiculous." Jungkook can't help but speak up again.

You don't argue with him on that. Sure, Yoongi gets on your nerves most of the time but you don't not like him.

"Just invite who you want and be done with this." Jimin sighs, rubbing his forehead.

"No, she just did that on purpose!" Jungkook exclaims, causing you to scoff.

"Mind your business, Jeon and better go figure out where your friend is sleeping." you remark.

Deep down you do feel bad because of Ester. She has done nothing wrong to you or to anyone you know. You don't want her to think you don't like her and you do hope whatever happened here won't reach her. God, you really hope Jungkook won't snitch on you. He wouldn't, right? 

"Wait, where are you going? How are we gonna sort out the cars then?" Taehyung calls out to you when you're on your way out.

You linger between the entrance of the living room and entrance hall, shrugging.

"We're gonna have to go with two cars anyway. So much for saving." he adds, grumbling.

"I don't know, I'll just go with Yoongi. Let me know how you arranged it. I'm going, I'm tired."

Taehyung's place starts to feel suffocating and you rush to put your shoes on, bidding them a sore goodbye as you get into your car.

You're a fucking idiot. You smack your head against the headrest, closing your eyes as you rub your forehead furiously instead, not wanting to smudge your make-up.

Great. You cannot show without Yoongi. You argued with Jungkook and let the most stupid idea come out of your mouth because of... because of what exactly? Annoyance? Anger? Jealousy?

All of the above most likely.

But the aftermath of your argument in front of Jimin and Taehyung is not the only thing that causes you another headache.

The thing is...

How the fuck will you convince him to go?

[achaotichuman]

Acotar Rant

I actually think Elain being selfish and manipulative is a very interesting character flaw for her. It clashes with what she tries to project which is an image of perfection, loveliness and kindness.

Thing is, she isn't inherently kind. She isn't merciful or innocent. She killed a man with zero hesitation. We have no idea how she even got across the fucking battlefield, you don't think she struggled to get there??? She purposefully set out to murder a man and it didn't so much as affect her later from what we can see. She doesn't show mercy.

When people talk about Elain killing Hybern, no one ever brings up how fucking out of character that would be for her in their version of her. Just, so many people are like "Elain should get credit tooo!!!!" and then their version of Elain is the perfect, kind flower girl who can do no wrong. Like, no, if you want her to get credit you have to acknowledge that was pretty cold-blooded, and its perfectly in character for canon.

Consider how Feyre reacted to killing Hybern soldiers in Summer. She vomited her guts up and felt guilt even though they were the enemy. Elain doesn't so much as bat an eyelash.

She is selfish. Compare her actions to Nesta's throughout the entirety of ACOWAR, Nesta is out there trying to help purely out of the kindness of her heart, and Elain fucks off, because she doesn't want to.

She lets everyone baby her, she packs Nesta's things and doesn't utter a single word when the IC locks her up, even though Nesta would have taken a knife to Rhysand's throat if he dared do the same to Elain.

And its not that she feels threatened by the IC, and this evident for when she cries and says 'Nesta isn't trying' and allows herself to their manipulative device to force Nesta into scrying.

Elain is not stupid, that's quite obvious. She's shown herself to be observant and intelligent, so I doubt she was unaware of the NC using her. She knew, and she actively allows it.

I use the wording 'she lets', because I think for Elain. Instead of having the same rhetoric of her being a defenseless child who cannot think for herself, she actively has to work against bad habits and built in tendencies.

She clearly WANTS to express an image of perfection and kindness, even though her natural inclination seems to skew to the negative.

To have a perfect character is to not have a character at all. There's no growth or journey, and for Elain, she'll always side with the person that's most likely to give her the outcome she wants the most.

She wants to be left alone? She lets the IC baby her.

She wants nothing to do with Lucien? She sticks by Feyre (who routinely sees her and Azriel as a better couple.)

Now I don't think she is a mastermind or actively working for an evil cause, I just think she is naturally drawn to selfish desires even at the expense of others.

And this would make her so so interesting. She's not perfect, the projection of her image is by design, it's not the 'real' Elain, she's a bit shitty. It makes her more *human*, it makes her less of a cardboard cut out. Now we have actually have a path of growth laid out. It involves deciding between continuing down a line of chasing fleeting happiness and materialistic desires drawn out but the former future she had promised as a human, or actively working towards being the person she truly aspires to be. That truly kind and gentle soul.

Elain has a very empty character, and I will tell you that it was a choice to make her like that. It makes her so much easier for SJM to write, because she is malleable, SJM can turn her into anything she pleases later on. So, my arguing that Elain is inherently selfish is mute because despite the actual actions of Elain's character, SJM will not reflect on them as foreshadowing, Elain is like this because making her do anything of value would deprive SJM of her writing freedom while writing her. Because she would actually have to stick to whats already been set up, even a little.

What I actually think will happen, is Elain will be Rhysand 2.0

She'll do things that are inherently bad, but get away with them because 'shes perfect and can do no wrong.' Thats how SJM writes, and she'll either make Lucien a shitty person along with it, or make Lucien Elain's bitch who will simply become an empty character to slap beside Elain.

Anyway, regardless of potential, Elain will be like the rest of the lot. She has to be to fit in with SJM's brand.

This is not an incredibly deep dive into my thoughts on Elain. I have a lot more, but this is a pretty good generalization of them all. If SJM is not a coward, she will make Elain selfish and have her recognize that.

She lets everyone baby her

I would also like to reinforce, I use the word 'lets' here because Elain does not fight against the constant infantalisation even though it's clear as day, because she wants the image of being perfect. And I can go on and on about how thats probably the result of her childhood and being the middle sibling often comes with trying to get the attention of your parental figure when usually it will be cast on the eldest and youngest. But y'all ask if you want that deep dive.

Kaaaaaay bye

[thousandyearphantombunker]

The Owl House Critical Post, scroll away now I don't know if I am being too harsh in this post but I wrote it anyway so if you don't wanna read something potentially upsetting this is a warning (to those who decide to read please tell me if I'm being too harsh)

I remember initially hating how the show handled its villains, they all felt like jokes, they never felt like threats or like they provided a meaningful challenges for the main cast, they never had any real depth or complexity. but i bit my tongue, I was told that I was basically a dumbass for complaining that Bump openly breaks a law that's supposed to be punishable by death so that Luz could fulfill her witchy fantasy and that he wasn't arrested. the show could've had him make the multiclass student thing be something underground- boom it lets luz live out her fantasy but doesn't ignore what was established about the setting and creates potential stakes if these underground classes ever got discovered! That already made me angry but the cult thing is what I wanted to complain about- i only had basic ass knowledge about cults and TOH fails at portraying that crap, most people in the EC can just quit and do so in a way that makes it feel like they're just quitting a job, it doesn't feel like they fear losing their friends or sense belonging and community, they don't feel like they're anything but jokes. Leaving a cult is scary, often times cults will send their followers into the real world and set them up to have bad experiences so they'll come running back, they'll hire thugs to scare them into staying or position them in away so that they suffer (sending them out without money or the skills to survive), they humiliate those who begin to ask questions so that they stay in line. guilt tripping, putting members against each other, cutting off contact with the rest of the world! The show only adds the whole 'forced to fight on a mountain' thing for flavor! Everytime it brings up actual stuff cults do it feels like it's more for flavor than actually writing this topic with sensitivity- look at how they treat Lilith! Imo It feels like the show insulting people for ever trusting belos, treating them like they're braindead and could've just realized fairly easily that he was evil. It's the most egregious with hunter who was basically fucking born into the EC. the show is also pretty black and white, which is curious for a show that gets praise for its portrayal of religious trauma. You think the show would be more grey. I did deeper research into cults and just got SO tired of people talking about how good the show was at conveying such a heavy topic. The titan reveal also doesn't help- Luz is told by an all powerful deity that she is the chosen one basically and is told that old man is evil and needs to go down- isn't that the same justification that belos uses for his actions- not saying belos should've gotten redemption or forgiveness but this feels wrong. He deserved to die don't get me wrong but using this justification feels gross. What's even worse is that the titan made Philip's life harder on purpose- ah yeah that brainwashed cult victim would totally change his mind especially if you make his life harder- yeah I would've preferred if belos was depicted in a flashback just having a bad time on the boiling isles and cherry picked those bad experiences to justify his actions. Also I hate that the show just writes belos off as greedy and glory seeking when it could've conveyed a message about how people can get absolutely get warped by religious dogma. I do wonder though if I'm being too harsh because TOH is for kids and I was told it would be hard to portray this stuff in a way kids could understand. I can come up with ways to make the breaking the law openly thing less egregious but I am struggling to think of ways the show could have handled the cult thing, I am aware that maybe I'm accidentally saying stuff that is kind of bad faith but this is my truth. I feel like TOH wasn't good at villains and it sure as hell didn't write cults well

[hellaversity]

I see so many people say that Blitzø doesn't feel any guilt or remorse for robbing Verosika in the past, that he willingly goes out of his way to publicly humiliate her for no reason, and that he doesn't take any accountability for his past actions, and it baffles me to no end.

There are many bad HB takes that make me say "Are we watching the same show?" but this is the one i've been wanting to talk about lately.

Blitzø never denies or corrects what Verosika says about him. He says "Goddammit w**re, you will NOT let that go!" Implying that he DID do it. His bad trip in Truth Seekers shows her not only angry at him for pushing people away when they try to get close to him, but he doesn't retaliate. He doesn't even respond. He just has a look of regret on his face when she calls him out.

That broken heart on her cheek, which mind you, looks like a normal undamaged heart in reality, is an indication that Blitzø KNOWS he broke her heart. All he tries to do is run away from her instead of making excuses or trying to defend himself. Deep down, Blitzø DOES feel bad about hurting Verosika.

When she talks shit about him in Ozzie's, again, he doesn't even say anything. He looks guilty and ashamed of what he did to her.

And for the record, Verosika doesn't come off much better than Blitzø for not moving on and subjecting him to public humiliation at every chance she can get to the point of assaulting his employees just for being associated with him. Moxxie didn't deserve to be gangbanged against his will. He had nothing to do with Blitzø and Verosika's breakup.

She also didn't have to willingly steal their only parking space left and spray paint on their logo. It's not like she didn't know her ex was working there. She did that on purpose. Nobody forced her to summon a gaint sea monster on Earth. She did that on her own accord.

To people who say that Blitzø subjects Verosika to public humiliation just as much as she does to him, no, he really doesn't. In Spring Broken, he didn't even know that it was her who stole his only parking space available for him until she stepped out of her car. He was just mad that ANYONE would have the nerve to purposefully take his only place left to park his car. It's not like he yelled at her just for being there. He didn't even say anything to her in Ozzie's until she joined Fizz and Ozzie in on their roasting song. He was actively trying to avoid her and almost forgot she was even there up to that moment. The only time he publicly humilates her is when he gets her arrested on Earth, and even that was done out of revenge for sexually harassing Moxxie.

The only thing you could really count as Blitzø "not taking accountability" for stealing Verosika's car, spending her credit card on horse riding lessons and breaking her heart is that he hasn't really apologized for it yet. But just because he hasn't apologized, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's proud of hurting her or that he doesn't feel any remorse for it.

Verosika also needs to get over it already, because it's been YEARS since they broke up and not letting Blitzø forget about it isn't doing any good for her mental health. And no, it's not victim-blaming to say so. Brandon Rogers said that Verosika was just as responsible for their relationship ending on bad terms as Blitzø was and that she wasn't a flawless girlfriend any more than he was a flawless boyfriend. I haven't actually seen the source for this, but I can imagine that once it becomes undeniable evidence that Verosika wasn't a completely blameless saint and that Blitzø was also possibly hurt by her just like she was by him, her stans will NOT take it very well at all.

Also, if either of them isn't taking responsibility or being held accountable for their actions, it's Verosika. I haven't seen her bring up anything she might've did to Blitzø in the past (the only reason he doesn't is because he's clearly moved on and she hasn't) nor I have seen her feel any remorse for what she did to Moxxie. It's totally possible that the reason for that is because she knows that as a rich and famous musician, she'll get off scot free and her in-universe fans will take her side no matter what. Not because she "did nothing wrong".

I wonder how many people would absolve Verosika of her own actions if she were a man and Blitzø was a woman. Imagine a man who was still bitter at an ex-girlfriend for something shitty she did years ago back when they dated, sexually assaulted one of her employees just to upset her, and bragged about how passionate of a lover he was in bed while she "did no reciprocating" just to publicly humiliate her because he won't let go of the past even if she already has. Or, imagine an ugly poor woman doing the same instead of a beautiful celebrity with big boobs. I'm pretty sure only THEN would people realize that Verosika isn't exactly as innocent as people make her out to be....

This is the look of regret in Blitzø's bad trip that I mentioned earlier. You CAN'T tell me that he doesn't look guilty here.

[mvmnbnv]

Am i blind for not seeing how Caitlyn manipulated Vi? I keep seeing this take and I don’t understand it. She hurt Vi in an inexcusable manner, both physically and emotionally by making classist implications in her anger…

But manipulation? If Caitlyn wanted to manipulate/ guilt-trip Vi into joining the enforcers or killing Jinx all she had to do was say “I had the shot” to Vi instead of her father. But she didn’t bring up the dinner at all or oil & water for that matter. In fact not only did she not blame Vi (initially) or guilt-trip her; Caitlyn blamed herself: “My arrogance led me to take on more than i could handle and she paid the price”. That’s something someone like Vi who always blames herself and takes responsibility for everything really needed to hear so i was happy with it.

I think Caitlyn’s intentions were genuinely good throughout the first episode, both regarding Vi & the undercity but she still had the same flaws from season 1: thinking the enforcers are the ‘good guys’ here and there are just a few bad apples among them (i bet she probs thinks the ones who killed Vi’s parents were just bad apples lol) ; approaching some matters in an insensitive, entitled manner (springing the badge on Vi instead of having a conversation with her first about the reasons why she thinks it’s the best recourse… well at least she apologized for that ig)

I already feel like they pushed Caitvi in a terrible direction that’s hard to come back from in a satisfying way… i think if people willfully misinterpret ALL of Cait’s actions in the worst possible light you guys really won’t be happy w the ending bc there’s a point a relationship really can’t come back from in a healthy way. I doubt even now if it can…

I haven't used the word manipulative just yet because it's a pretty touchy thing with a specific meaning, but apparently you can be manipulative without knowing. She plays on vis emotions a lot, telling her wearing a badge is how she can show that she doesn't support jinx, which just isn't true. She doesn't need to wear one to show that. I'm not gonna blatantly say it's outright manipulative but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth nonetheless. And just blatantly enlisting vi after she explicitly said no and explained her trauma around enforcers is just...bleh. maybe distasteful more than manipulative but regardless it's just icky.

And yeah a lot of people think they're doing right but are actually just awful..."interpreting her actions in the worst possible light". How else am I supposed to interpret what she's done? She undid a ventilation system that gave the undercity clean air, she enlists vi after she said no, saying its easy to hate zaunites, is ready to get jinx even at the cost of a childs life, ffs she hits vi and leaves her there, it's bad, some of it downright corrupt. Apologizing to vi for springing the badge on her doesn't negate her bigoted attitude toward her and the entire undercity, it's not vis job to prove anything to her, especially if it ultimately means letting anyone get hurt at the cost of getting jinx. She sees vi as her possible example of what people of the undercity could be, and even that's fucked up, because once vi doesn't do things the way she wants she thinks she's "no different" than jinx or any other zaunite. I don't think they could have a healthy relationship with all this. I don't even want vi around her after all that tbh. I know it's gonna happen tho so I'll just see what they decide to do

[zukosdualdao]

something i was thinking about regarding the parallels of aang and zuko accidentally burning toph and katara, respectively, is the similarity in their reactions in the immediate aftermath, but the way their reactions diverge afterward, re: apologies.

Aang tosses it into the air and spreads his arms out. For a second, he has a smile on his face, but it vanishes as he accidentally burns Katara's hands. Katara shrieks in pain. Aang: Katara! I'm so sorry! Sokka comes running to Katara's side. Sokka: [Concerned.] Katara, what's wrong? [Angrily.] What did you do?! Aang: It was an accident! I was, uh... Katara, I'm so-- Sokka furiously tackles Aang. Sokka: [Enraged.] I told you we shouldn't mess around with this! Look what you did! You burned my sister! [Katara runs away.]

Zuko: Who's there? Stay back! [Whips fire.] Toph: It's me! [Throws up an earth shield, but steps back into Zuko's fire blast.] Ow! You burned my feet! Zuko: I'm sorry, it was a mistake! [Comes toward her, but she begins to crawl away.] Toph: Get away from me! [As Toph crawls away, she grabs the earth under her and throws it backward at Zuko.] Zuko: Let me help you! [Dodges another rock.] I'm sorry! [Tries to grab her.] Toph: Get off me, get off me! [Brings up some earth which sends Zuko flying back.]

both of them try to immediately apologize as soon as they realize what they've done, and while that's understandable and they both do feel genuine remorse, the kinds of apologies being made in these contexts are inherently a little selfish. an apology should be for the other person, and neither katara or toph is in a place to process it, as both are in immediate pain and both are panicking. aang and zuko also both try to repeat the apology - aang only doesn't get all the way through his because sokka tackles him and interrupts - in the moment when it's become very clear that it's not going to be appropriate or helpful at the time.

where i think they diverge, though, is that while aang continues to feel remorse, he doesn't offer another apology now that tensions have lowered and she might be in a better place to receive it. instead, it becomes about his own guilt, and katara having to comfort him, telling him it doesn't matter because she was able to heal herself.

Katara enters the cottage to find Aang sulking. Aang: Jeong Jeong tried to tell me that I wasn't ready. I wouldn't listen. I'm never going to firebend again. Katara: You'll have to eventually. Aang: No, never again. Katara: It's okay, Aang. I'm healed.

he also learns the wrong lesson from it. and to be clear, i'm not criticizing that as a writing choice - i think it's very realistic. but instead of resolving to do better in the future and learn discipline, he declares his intent to avoid firebending instead of committing to the responsibility of controlling it. (which, as katara rightly points out, is just not going to work.)

whereas, despite his lapse in wallowing in his own guilt - why am i so bad at being good? - by the next day, zuko is able to apologize to toph in a setting where tensions are lower and she's better able to process it, as her feet might not be completely healed but are healing and she's in significantly less pain and a clearer mindset. he gives the explanation of it being an accident without excusing it, instead affirming that he knows he has a responsibility to be more careful and resolving to do better.

Zuko: [To Toph.] I'm sorry for what I did to you. [Bows to her.] It was an accident. Fire can be dangerous and wild, so as a firebender, I need to be more careful and control my bending, so I don't hurt people unintentionally.

i think the reason zuko is able to work past this and not keep wallowing in shame and guilt is because part of his journey has been learning (with help from iroh) that the guilt and shame he was made to feel for his 'wrongdoings' in ozai's eyes never actually helped anything, and he has finally started to internalize that. so he's able to say "i did a wrong thing and i'm sorry and i will do better" without either trying to completely justify himself or debasing himself, and that's powerful and important.

[just-a-creep-babe]

Graveyard Shift - Part 2

Eyeless Jack x Reader

Part 1

Commissioned once more by anonymous; thank you so much, I hope you enjoy! ❣❤

Requests are closed but commissions are open!

Masterlist: x

“I’m going to make you mine.”

The demon’s touch is soft, feather-light as he traces over her features

(Y/n) swallows thickly

She squeezes her eyes shut, almost as if to will it all away—will him away—because this whole thing just feels too surreal to actually be happening

But then she hears him chuckling, and when she reopens her eyes, he’s still there, leering down menacingly at her, and she feels just as nauseous as ever

Her eyes flicker back to the open door behind him, and she silently prays that someone will come to her rescue

“Aww,” he hums condescendingly, the sound low and gravelly, and the fingers at her face suddenly dig into her cheeks, squeezing at the flesh of her face, and with his newfound leverage, he yanks her gaze back up to him

She whimpers, sounding just as pathetic as a weak little prey before a predator

“How cute—you’re looking for a way out of this, aren’t you?~”

He wags his free hand in front of her like he’s disciplining a new puppy

“Tsk tsk tsk,” he clicks his tongue disapprovingly, “you’re not going anywhere, little morsel~ Not until you help me get what I want”

He moves back, and the extra bit of space between them brings a wave of relief over her

“I need certain things from you. And you’re going to get them for me because you don’t want to cause any trouble—isn’t that right, morsel?”

Eyes widening from the thinly-veiled threat, she nods

Her heart's beating loudly in her chest as her mind races with dozens of possibilities regarding what he might possibly want from her

Swallowing back her nerves, she tries to put on a brave front as she tentatively asks, “What… what do you want?”

He tilts his head, humming a sound that resembles a purr

“Supplies,” he finally says, “you’re going to get me some supplies”

She doesn't want to go through with it

Christ, she just got this job, and now she's going to jeopardize it by stealing?

She knows she shouldn't go through with it; she should explain what's going on to security, get the man arrested once and for all, and finally be done with this whole mess

But the man's threat resonates in her head as she considers telling someone, and she figures it's only a few pill bottles—surely that's not too bad, right?

Surely, no one will notice they're missing, not with the sheer amount of backups they have, and if she just gives him what he wants, he'll leave her alone, and she won't have to worry about any of this crap anymore either way... right?

Truth be told, she barely finds any comfort trying to convince herself, but she's too terrified to not do what the man wants

His threat had been coy, almost playful, and he hadn't delved into any specifics, but that somehow only made it even more terrifying

She doesn't want to find out what he'd do if things went awry

Because even despite the uptick in security after last week, he still found his way back in

Which means he clearly knows what he's doing, and he's clearly not worried about getting caught

She shouldn't be doing this, but ultimately, what choice does she really have?

Guilt settles in the pit of her stomach as she makes her way through the hospital, subtly going in and out of the supply rooms to take the drugs he'd neatly listed on a hand-written note for her

Her pockets are half full of stolen meds when she passes behind the desk for security

One of the guards is seated at the desk, his back turned towards her, and though he's facing the rows of security cameras, it's obvious he's not paying too much attention to what's happening

(Y/n) pauses

She looks around the empty halls, then hesitates

Now's her chance, she realizes

It isn't too late to confess everything—tell him there's the same intruder waiting in the same room as last time; he's come back and he wants to take more resources—and he seems dangerous

With a deep, steadying breath, she nods to herself

It's the right thing to do, she decides

She takes the first few steps, but then she suddenly stops dead in her tracks again

This time, her stomach drops as a realization dawns on her

She's being watched

The hairs at the back of her neck stand stiff in an uncomfortably familiar sensation as her senses go on high-alert

She takes another look around, and that's when she notices it; an imposing silhouette, dressed in all black with those uncanny two voids peering out from a blue mask, stares down at her from the very end of the hallway

Even from a distance, she can see him cock his head to the side, like he knows what she’s planning

He raises a finger and wags it back and forth, slowly shaking his head at her

Up ahead, the guard's chair squeaks, and her attention is snapped back toward the desk

Heart pounding, she's worried the guard’s about to confront her, but all he's done is lean back into his seat

He doesn't even seem to know or care that she's behind him

She looks back down the hall, expecting to see the menacing figure come closer, but the hallway's empty

He's completely disappeared, almost like he was never there to begin with

She releases a shaky breath she didn’t realize she was holding in

Something isn't right with that man, she realizes

Beyond whatever's wrong with his eyes, even just in the way he moves—so deathly silent and with such precise muscle control—it's almost like he isn't entirely human

It sounds impossible when she thinks it, but beyond the grasps of rationality clouding her judgment, her gut instinct remains solid and unmoving, unrelenting

She nervously bites at her lip, still gazing down the empty hallway

And then she shakes her head, trying her best to dismiss the feeling

She just wants to get this shift over with already

She ends up bringing everything he'd asked for back to the "Employees Only" room

At the sight of her return, Jack can't help the satisfied grin from curling at his lips

That’s right, he thinks; he knew he picked the right person for the job

She looks nervous and timid and wonderfully fearful as she pulls everything out to present him with her findings

“This is… this is everything,” she mumbles

When Jack reaches out to take the supplies, their fingers touch, and she releases a quiet, barely audible gasp of surprise at the contact

He tilts his head to the side

Curiosity and intrigue have his fingertips lingering over her skin for a brief second longer than usual

Her skin is so soft, so pretty

He wonders how the rest of her body would feel beneath his touch

“Good girl,” he murmurs

Guilt flashes on her face at his praise, and she looks down in shame

He doesn't really know why, but he gets the sudden and intense urge to tilt her face up and kiss her

“What’re you—what’re you going to do with it?” she asks, her soft, hesitant voice interrupting his thoughts

“Mmh... that’s none of your business now, is it, morsel?~”

(Y/n) wants to forget about it

She wants to forget about him, about the things she stole for him, about the security guard being useless and not keeping an eye out—really, she just wants to forget about the whole thing entirely

And she almost does end up forgetting about it over the next few weeks

She represses the memory, just like she did the first time she encountered him, and Jack watches as she goes about her life like normal

Her routine is easy enough to follow; she wakes up, does her chores, spends some time relaxing or enjoying her hobbies, and then she sometimes spends a few more minutes chatting with friends or family before finally heading off to work

When she comes back, she almost immediately goes to bed after eating and showering, and then she rinses and repeats

At first, he keeps an eye on her to make sure she won't report him to the police—things always get so unnecessarily complicated when the authorities get involved—but then he realizes he just enjoys watching over her

She seems content with the way things are going in her life, and part of Jack envies her for that

He can't help but think that could've been him if he hadn't gotten involved with the wrong people

The more he watches her, the more invested he gradually becomes

It's almost like he's living vicariously through her at first, but as more time passes, he can almost imagine himself living alongside her

He imagines doing the little things with her; making breakfast before she wakes up, sharing that first morning kiss over coffee, leaving for work together

He imagines her making a lunch for him—making him a real lunch with human food instead of human as food—and leaving a small love note inside his bag

It doesn’t take long for his intrigue to transform into a full-blown obsession

It becomes part of his routine to watch her, and before he knows it, he can hardly take his metaphorical eyes off of her

His obsession triggers his demonic instincts, and he very quickly becomes very protective of her

A month or two is all it takes for him to grow restless

He’s always watching her, but it just isn’t enough anymore

He wants more

He craves more

More than anything else, he decides that, at the very least, he wants her to know he’s there

Whether it be her fear or passion, he doesn't care which—he just wants her attention

He starts off with small things that clue her in on his presence; he displaces her keys before she leaves for work, he moves her towels around while she’s in the shower, he steals some of her clothes from the hamper

It makes him chuckle to himself when he sees her frustration—she’s cute when she’s upset

He makes sure it becomes undeniable that he’s there

But even though she knows she’s being stalked, it’s like she makes an active effort to ignore it—to act like he doesn’t exist

It has him scoffing to himself

Does she really think she can just will him away as if he’s nothing?

The more she tries to push it all away, trying to dismiss it as an accident or a lapse in memory, the more impatient he becomes

The more aggravated he becomes

And that’s when he starts leaving her gifts at her doorstep

The first time she sees the roses waiting at her front door, she’s flattered

She gingerly picks them up, looking around the neighbourhood with a shy, flustered smile on her face

Cute, he thinks, that’s one way she’s guaranteed to acknowledge him

And so the flowers quickly become a semi-regular occurrence

Roses, tulips, sunflowers—big, lavish bouquets of expensive flowers pop up for her to collect and put in a vase at the centre of her kitchen

He starts leaving small love notes alongside the flowers, and she seems to enjoy those too

She tells her friends and family about her secret admirer, even mentioning it to her coworker

It pleases him to hear it

He wants everyone to know someone has their eye on her—she’s basically already taken

But ultimately, it’s like some people can’t take the hint

Jack watches, seething, as some still get too close for comfort to her

The love notes develop a threatening undertone, and it’s subtle at first, but Jack realizes he likes the faint glimpses of fear in her eyes as she reads through them

He shouldn’t play with his food, for lack of a better term, but she’s just so fun to mess around with~

The more terrified and restless she becomes, the more enamoured he is with her

The threatening love notes sometimes come stained with red smears, the flowers have their heads chopped off—Jack does anything he can to keep her attention focused on him and him alone

When she eventually calls the authorities to investigate, he’s none too pleased

He pauses his gift-giving for a few weeks, but the next time he leaves something, he makes sure it leaves an impression

And the way she gasps when she sees it tells him he’s wonderfully successful at making it known he’s unhappy

It’s a quiet Saturday night at the hospital, and (y/n) is going about business as usual, when she suddenly gives an excuse to her coworker to go to that same “Employees Only” room

Jack tilts his head, watching curiously from his hiding spot

She‘s come to avoid that room, and this is definitely out of her usual routine, which piques his interest

He follows her at a distance down the hall, watches as she scans her card, enters the room, then walks in

Jack lingers at the edges of the doorway, staying close enough to watch, but still remaining out of sight

With her back towards the door, she seems to take a deep breath, and then she speaks

"I know you're there. Come out and face me already"

[tomwambsmilk]

"[Shiv's pregnancy] was always something that Jesse had discussed in the writers' room, and so once we decided to bring it into the narrative it added a completely different take, I guess, on some of the scenes... I think Shiv's got some pretty complicated feelings about becoming a mother. She's, in some ways, feigning indifference because, again, it's one of those things that's almost too hard to face and Shiv doesn't like dealing with emotions. It's easier to repress things. I think there's a competitiveness in there against her feelings with her own mother and her desire to better her own mother's maternal qualities - but a fear that she probably won't be able to do that. [And] a fear and a frustration that all the things that she's been working towards and aiming towards she may not now be able to achieve because she will be a mother as well as a businesswoman, and how do these two things coalesce in her life? I think that she hasn't really considered that as a path for her life, and so it's quite a shock....

Especially with the conversation about the viability of the pregnancy, I think for her, in a way, it would have been easier if there was something wrong so that she could have a reason to terminate and not feel guilt. But, with nothing wrong, there's no reason to not continue. So it's a complex - hoping for the worst in a strange sort of unfazed way.... [She doesn't tell Tom because] it's too complicated, I think. It changes too much, there's too much going on - her father just died, there's so many business machinations happening, that to then bring Tom into it in a familial sense would confuse it again. She doesn't know how she feels about it herself. In a way she, I think, would prefer to decide what her own feelings were about this before she has Tom's feelings muddying the waters...

Shiv as a parent - I can't really imagine her with a little baby at all! And in some ways - she probably won't have it with her a lot. She would have nannies and she would - the premise of Shiv becoming a mother is fascinating to me... Definitely what Shiv would be contemplating is 'in what ways is this going to hold me back, not propel me forward'. Which is pretty - like, as a standard of society, that's the thought we go to first, and presume is what she would be thinking. Yes, that's right for the character, for Shiv, but also - a human being growing another human being entirely from scratch is an extraordinary feat no matter what. That's the powerful one! That's the strong one! That's the one that manages to get it out of their body and manages to then feed it from the things they make in their own body. Women are extraordinary! And yet those are the very things that we use to... yeah! Yeah! To hold them back! It's wild!" - Sarah Snook on HBO's Succession Podcast: "Honeymoon States"

"We wanted to slowly reveal [Shiv's pregnancy] because we're not one of those shows (as I'm sure you can tell) that wants to immediately just, like, stuff all the drama and immediately grab you by the lapels and go, "Keep watching! Keep watching!" We kind of like to move more slowly than that. And there's obviously so much going on in these first three episodes - particularly the third - and we thought it was a rather nice reveal, actually, for her to have this phone call with the doctor at the top of Four, I'll say because I think Shiv has been a bit in denial about it up until this point as well. She's broken up from her husband essentially, they've separated, and she's discovered that she's pregnant, and I think she's had mixed feelings about that... The way I always think of it is - it wasn't bad news, exactly, but it was the worst possible time. What I love about that performance as well as the writing is - it's not something you see very often, and I think it's very truthful, which is: this is a very complicated situation for her, where it's the fact that she's pregnant with her husband who she's separated from the child, and she isn't even particularly sure that she 100% wants to go through that. It's now all on her. And I think that's a big part of what she's feeling which is - 'oh, I guess that's good news, but in a way, as awful as it is to say, it would have been easier to hear the other'." - Lucy Prebble on HBO's Succession Podcast: "Honeymoon States"

[gffa]

If the batfamily were in the gffa, which ones of them do you think would have been jedis? How quickly do you think they would have joined the nascent rebellion?

Absolutely NONE of them would have been Jedi, I say with all fondness towards the Batfam, but they are emotional hot messes, every single one of them, and to be a Jedi you literally have to have your emotional shit together, that's straight up how the Force works. You cannot act out of anger or fear without slinking towards the dark side, the Force will throw all that right back in your face, and I don't think there's a single Batfam member that doesn't consistently act out of a place of anger. Bruce - My guy can't even keep it together without a psychic energy field in his brain that resonates with his emotional well-being, he would fall to the dark side inside a month. I love him, but he already thinks he has things under control in his brain that he very much does not, he is the definition of being created by fear of loss and the anger that results from it. Dick - My Blorbo may be the definition of hope and light in the DC universe, the most trusted hero right after Superman, but he absolutely has anger issues that he just kind of ignores. Psychics in the DC universe have tried to invade his mind and come out like, "Jesus fuck why is that guy's mind so terrifying!?" because, while Dick chooses kindness and love, he was also forged in anger at the injustices in the world. Jason - Sweet babygirl doesn't even know what he wants, I tend to see Jason as often times deeply contradictory because I'm not sure he knows how he feels about things, does he want to be part of his family or does he want to walk away from them, he wants their love, but he can't tolerate their love, he thinks everyone expects the worst from him and is angry ahead of time, because he's so deeply insecure about his place in the world and in his family, and the injustices of his life are ones that still haunt him, the Joker killing him and still getting to run around would drive him into anger, fear, and despair just as much as anyone. Tim - My guy is ready to tell anyone and everyone to fuck the fuck off at the drop of a hat, that he's often times the one trying to pull everyone back together, but he also is still haunted by the death of his parents, he's still unsure of his relationship with Bruce at times, when things get back and he loses a little too much in his life, he starts pushing people away, he pushed Dick and Steph away while Bruce was dead, he obsessed over bringing Kon back as a way to cope, rather than actually letting go of his hurts, that guy seems fairly even keel sometimes, but, no, he's a hot mess who would have the Force throwing all that back in his face, too. Damian - Baby bat is so insecure in a lot of ways, because he doesn't always know how to relate to his father, he doesn't know how to be a complement to Bruce the way the other Robins did, they're both brooders, they're both the kind who wear their anger on their sleeves, and have a core fear of loss that would have the dark side hissing in their ears. Barbara - In some ways, Babs is more emotionally stable than the others, but in other ways, she is JUST as unhinged as they are, her fury at the Joker is still lingering all around her heart, she still explodes in anger when something pisses her off, she's still a little afraid of commitment because she's scared to open herself up, she still has to deal with her spinal implant not being perfect, Babs probably has a stronger sense of what her problems are, but it's not like she does anything about them half the time. Cassandra - I think she still feels too much guilt about her past, even if none of it was her fault, but that she can't let go of that pain, and it's not just "bad" anger/fear that draws you to the dark side, it's also "good" anger/fear that lures you there, too. And Cass deals with a lot of that and, while I think she'd probably have the best chance of any of them at making it as a Jedi, she does still have a lot of issues that the Force would be throwing back in her face.

Stephanie - I'd give her the second best chance, she at least sometimes recognizes her fears and says, yeah, I'm afraid, I'm just not going to let it stop me. Steph has as much anger and need to punch the world as any of them do, but I think she might have a chance at changing up her thought patterns enough to make it. Duke - Hmm, I'm not sure I've read enough with Duke yet to tell what his underlying issues are and how much he's dealt with them. He seems fairly stable and willing to back off when he needs to, but in general, if you're a Bat, you've probably got some real anger to work on. Kate - Everything I've read of Kate is definitely "wants to punch things in the face" or "feels torn up about her relationships with people" and that she's not really interested in not being those things. Alfred - It depends on how you view him, I guess. If you see him as someone who has made peace with the lives his family has chosen and willing to understand that they are who they are, then I could see Alfred as a Jedi. But if you lean into the idea of a British Stiff Upper Lip where he just doesn't talk about the anguish he goes through seeing his family get hurt night after night, knowing he can't stop them, then no he would be a terrible Jedi. In short: THEY WOULD ALL SUCK AS JEDI, but they would definitely have started their own Rebel cell even before Bail and Mon and Leia started connecting the various individual groups together!

[icedragonlizard]

My interpretation for Hyness after HiAD, as well as his dynamics with Kirby and all the dream friends

In my verse, Hyness became very slothful after he was freed from the Jamba Heart's influence. He doesn't do much with his life afterwards, and is basically the equivalent of an old man in retirement.

The reason why he's become so slothful is because he's incredibly overwhelmed and worn down by the combination of all the stress that he went under during his corrupted phase and all the guilt that he bears over his actions.

Even though he's exceptionally grateful to Kirby and the star allies team for rescuing him and the Mage Sisters at the end of HiAD, he's not exactly a happy person. If anything, he's actually a little miserable by virtue of all the stress and guilt he has over everything that happened. He does not feel good about any of it. He definitely has some relief that the bad stuff is done, but he's really messed up by all the regret he has over it.

He went through a bunch of pain and suffering while he was corrupted, enough to where it's been having some long-term lingering even after he's better. And he feels awful about what he did to the Mage Sisters. He hurt them really bad, didn't he? It haunts him that he sacrificed them to Void Termina. One of them is still unbreakably devoted to him, but the other two have hang-ups. They're all ultimately a reunited family, but their relationship just simply isn't the same as it once was. They have some complications even after they've been saved in HiAD.

All of these complexities have led to Hyness becoming inactive and lethargic. After being purified, he spends about 95% of his time at his home in the Jambandran Base. He's just chilling out at home and taking it easy. He's basically having a permanent mental break. The Mage Sisters love to commonly go out, have fun and cause chaos, and their dad is just relaxing at home while they do that.

And because Hyness spends the vast majority of his time at home, most of the dream friends very seldom see him after HiAD. The only times they see him post-HiAD is when the Mage Sisters take him with them for a Popstar vacation once every blue moon (and I mean literally once every blue moon). That does happen, and it's why I say 95% as opposed to 100% for Hyness staying home, but most of the Mage Sisters' visits to Popstar and other planets are done without bringing him with them.

This is the reason why Hyness is not in the list of characters that are present in my Google Doc for Kirby Character Dynamics. He barely has much of anything to do with a good chunk of them by virtue of rarely seeing them post-HiAD. That being said, however, I will post his dynamics with Kirby and all the dream friends in this post further down below. Again, many of them very seldom see him. There are exceptions, however. You'll see which ones see him more often than others.

Hyness acts very nice and polite to people that visit the Jambandran Base. However, he can get stressed out easily and is still capable of talking at a million miles an hour if he resorts to starting a rant, so probably not a good idea to set him off. One of the dream friends has ended up causing him to do it once, though.

And now, finally, to his dynamics with a lot of the Kirby cast. Let's start with his daughters.

Zan Partizanne: Zan, being the Mage Sister that's the most devoted to Hyness, is also the most forgiving one. She doesn't hold his actions against him at all, really. She's literally just happy to have him back. It warms his heart. He feels like he doesn't deserve his daughters anymore, but it makes him touched to see that Zan is still unwaveringly indebted to him. She acts as his main caretaker, and thus she's the least outgoing of the Mage Sisters, because she stays home more often than the other two do as she takes more care of Hyness than they do.

Flamberge: This is rather complicated. Flamberge has many hang-ups with Hyness. Early on after HiAD, she was actually pretty uncomfortable around him and didn't have a lot of trust in him. She openly expressed this discomfort to him, and there were even a few instances where she angrily yelled at him because of the baggage over the things he did. However, things do get better later on. They eventually make amends. Flamberge does still care about Hyness as she slowly warms up to him again, but what happened has permanently affected her feelings about him. He completely understands and just feels absolutely horrible about it.

Francisca: Like Flamberge, Francisca also has hang-ups with Hyness, as she was also uncomfortable around him early on after HiAD. Although she hasn't been nearly as argumentative, nor as she ever yelled at him as her fiery sister did that for her, but she still made her hang-ups with him clear. That being said, they do make amends later on. Francisca is more or less on the same stance as her fiery sister when it comes to her feelings about Hyness, as she still cares about him but it's more complicated than before. He understands and doesn't blame her. He's heartbroken that he hurt her.

*Despite the hang-ups that Francisca and Flamberge have with Hyness, there are still moments where they hug him. There's also just some serious baggage involved, as his actions have permanently changed things.

To see Hyness' dynamics with Kirby and all the other dream friends in my verse, click on the 'Keep reading' tag down below. This post is already getting very long as is, so I'm gonna put a tag for you to click on in order to read the rest of it.

Hyness, in a general sense, has gratitude for everyone in the star allies team for saving him, although some of them still have uneasy opinions about him. Honestly, they were more happy about saving the Mage Sisters than they were about saving him.

Here's how he interacts with them individually:

Kirby: Kirby forgives every villain that stops their evil deeds, and Hyness is no exception. The pink puff is very happy to have saved his life and purified him back to his regular self. He considers Hyness to be a friend. And just like Kirby does with all of his friends, he visits him at the Jambandran Base on occasion. Hyness has unbridled gratitude for Kirby. Part of him feels like he didn't really deserve to be saved, but it makes him so emotional that this little guy went out of his way to save him anyways. Quite frankly, Kirby has made Hyness cry happy tears over this more than once. He can't thank him enough. He's hugely indebted to Kirby as a result.

King Dedede: One of the many star allies members that Hyness seldom crosses paths with after HiAD. During the rare instances they do meet, their interactions are polite, but Hyness makes Dedede very uncomfortable deep down. Watching the Mage Sisters get rag-dolled hit way too close to home for Dedede, as it reminded him that he could've done similar things to his waddle dees if Kirby didn't humble him. He's glad that Hyness is purified now, but he can't shake off the discomfort. He wishes him well, though, and vice versa.

Meta Knight: Meta Knight feels discomfort about Hyness for similar reasons as Dedede. He'd never treat his crewmates like what Hyness did to the Mage Sisters. Meta Knight doesn't often express being horrified, but he did so over the things Hyness did in his corruption. After HiAD, these two very seldom see each other, although they do mutually wish each other well.

Bandana Waddle Dee: Another one that Hyness very rarely sees after HiAD, and so there's not much of a relationship between these two. Bandee was terrified of Hyness back in his evil phase, and although he's glad the man is better now, he'd still prefer to keep a distance. Not much else to say here, really.

Magolor: One of the dream friends that Hyness actually sees sometimes outside of his super rare Popstar vacations! This is because Magolor, by virtue of being decent friends with the Mage Sisters, sometimes visits the Jambandran Base. He and Hyness get along very well, enough to even consider each other to be friends. They have informative talks about the Ancients, as well as ancient technology. Hyness thinks that Magolor is a bright-minded and humorous young man, always appreciating his company. Magolor thinks he's an interesting individual and forgives him for what he did.

Marx: Like Magolor, Marx also sometimes shows up at the Jambandran Base due to being good friends with the Mage Sisters, and thus he crosses paths with Hyness more often than many of the other dream friends do. He likes Hyness. They had some not-so-positive interactions early on after HiAD, though, when at one point Marx tried to provoke Hyness into performing another super-fast rant, to which Hyness then snapped and attacked him. They got along better after that, though. Nowadays, Marx just says things to make Hyness laugh. Hyness likes Marx and doesn't grudge about that one instance.

Taranza: Taranza is another one that visits the Jambandran Base sometimes because he's good friends with the Mage Sisters, and so he actually sees Hyness at not an infrequent rate! They're on good and amiable terms. It helps that Taranza is close friends with Zan, and considering his devotion to Sectonia is of similar levels to Zan's devotion of Hyness, Taranza can effectively see Sectonia in him. It makes him sympathize with him and is glad to see he's purified. Hyness really likes Taranza and thinks he's a nice young man.

Susie: Like the three right above her, Susie also sometimes visits the Jambandran Base because she's a close friend of the Mage Sisters, meaning that Hyness sees her more often than many other dream friends. They get along well, although Susie quietly felt awkward around him at first because she's very close friends with Francisca and they both have daddy issues. Susie stays out of the Jamba family's drama, though, and her awkwardness about Hyness reduces once Francisca works things out with him. Hyness likes Susie and is pleased that she's friends with his daughters, especially his icy one.

Gooey: Gooey generally stays in Popstar, and thus it's seldom for him and Hyness to see each other after HiAD. However, during the rare instances where they do meet, they actually get along very well. Gooey is very forgiving like Kirby is, and he likes Hyness! Hyness respects Gooey a lot after learning about his origins. He thinks he's a very sweet and fascinating little guy. He wishes he could see him more often than he does. Gooey would also like that.

Rick & Kine & Coo: They also generally stay in Popstar, and so they rarely ever see Hyness after HiAD. And while they're not grudge-holders, they still feel pretty uneasy about him after witnessing the things he did in front of them and the rest of the star allies team. They're glad he's at least better now and wish him the best, but yeah they barely have a relationship with him at all.

Daroach: Daroach actually visits the Jambandran Base on occasion, and so he and Hyness see each other every once in a while at least. They get along pretty well. Daroach steals from the Jambandran Base, but that doesn't actually upset Hyness. It would, but the Mage Sisters are actually thrilled when Daroach robs the place, because they enjoy chasing after him for it, and they like him. Hyness acknowledges they're all just having fun, and so he likes Daroach. Daroach likes him back and forgives him for what he did.

Adeleine: Adeleine rarely ever sees Hyness after HiAD, and honestly she's not bothered by that. She thought he was really scary during his corrupted phase, and although she's relieved that he's now better, she still considers him to be unnerving. She has no ill-will towards him, though. Not really much else to say for this one.

Ribbon: Another one that Hyness seldom sees after HiAD. That being said, Ribbon doesn't actually mind him now that he's purified, as she's generally braver than Adeleine. The rare instances where she and Hyness interact are generally amiable. There's still not much of a relationship here, though, due to how rarely they meet.

Dark Meta Knight: Even though DMK does have a friendship with Flamberge, he never visits the Jambandran Base as he's not up to travelling all the way there, and thus he and Hyness barely ever see each other again after HiAD. And honestly, DMK doesn't give a crud about Hyness, so he's not upset to hardly ever encounter him.

Nago, ChuChu, Pitch and Shadow Kirby have all also met Hyness during one of his once-every-blue-moon Popstar vacations. Can't say there's much going on there, really. They were all spooked when they learned he was the big villain during the adventure that Kirby and all the star allies partook in, and are glad he's not evil anymore, but other than that they hardly ever see him. Although Nago did let Hyness pet him during their first meet.

Hyness did go with the Mage Sisters to a vacation in the New World because he was curious to check out it, and so he did meet Elfilin, but not much there either aside from Elfilin thinking he's scary. Elfilin is not a fan of the Mage Sisters as he thinks they're scary, and their dad isn't any less scary. They almost never interact after their first meet, though. Doesn't help that Elfilin was informed by some of the dream friends about the events of Star Allies, freaking him the heck out upon learning about Hyness' actions.

That's basically it for this post. As you can see, a lot of the dream friends barely see Hyness again after he's been purified, and truthfully he's still rather controversial in the general opinion of the team. They were all utterly horrified by what he did in his evil phase, and although they're all ultimately glad he's better now, many of them still have uneasy opinions about him.

Thanks for reading if you did.

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | 19

❥𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; In order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires - he calls it a mutual help

❥𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: jungkook x reader

❥𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: fake dating au, smut, fluff, angst, slow burn

❥𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: explicit language, dirty talk, oral sex (f.), usage of s*xtoy, unprotected s., multiple orgasms, overstimulation

❥𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 18.4k+

⇠ prev. | next ⇢

a/n: originally #53

It's fascinating how even after getting back to the front of Jungkook's car and a few minutes of riding back to the house, you can still feel the remains of the faintest – yet very noticeable – tingle from your previous orgasm. Jungkook – who remains to have that captivating orgasm glow or it's just your mind playing tricks on you – has put an end to your thirst, or at least that's what you thought for a short period of time. That's until you find yourself glancing his way while the aftermath of a great orgasm buzzes through your body.

If you weren't suspiciously coming back later than the actual ride is supposed to take, you wouldn't resist a possible round two. You can't believe yourself. This is not really like you. You never were driven by lust and pleasure before – at least not to this amount. Jungkook does wonders, not only to your body but to your mind as you often find yourself rethinking... well, yourself.

It's hard to explain, but it's like he brings out another person in you. Someone you never knew existed, at least not to this extent. You know the pleasure he gives you and the undeniable attraction is the reason why you're still doing this. It feels too fucking good to let go.

Before the unwanted thoughts start to invade your mind, the content feeling of being properly fucked just a few minutes ago is replaced by guilt. Not only Jungkook's father questions you of your later arrival, even though you're about ten minutes late, it's Haru and the sight of her that makes you feel bad for allowing yourself a few minutes of – absolutely perfect and irreplaceable – pleasure.

It's some time past nine in the evening, clouds no longer visible as they're replaced by the faintest stars that are sprinkled across the night sky. The garden is fully set up with beautiful outdoor lights, probably the only thing keeping Haru from falling asleep. She looks tired, Taehyung would surely call her wasted if that was possible. She's completely dozing off and though Jungkook's father (or anyone else) doesn't scold you for your arrival, because there's no reason for it, you understand his granddaughter is what sparked his curiosity.

Jungkook lies effortlessly. The lie rolls off his tongue almost skilfully as he blames the traffic and more customers in the grocery store than usual.

No one pays attention to it though, luckily for you, and they go back to their previous conversation. Mr. Jeon rushes to grill the sausages for his only granddaughter, Haru seemingly coming back to life as she assists him with her small hands.

"You really don't know how to act." Jungkook comments, handing you a can of beer which you gladly take, even though you weren't planning on drinking.

"What are you talking about?" you ask, opening the can followed with a hissing sound.

"Guilt is written all over your face, a way to look suspicious." he snorts, your mouth falling open in disbelief while you're being called out.

"Not everyone can lie so easily," you raise your brow at him, finding him cockily shrugging at his good acting skills. "Poor Haru, she's been waiting for the food and we took our time."

"That was us taking our time?" he snorts, raising his brow this time at you as you sheepishly offer him a doubtful shrug. "We both know that's not true. Besides, she was eating like an hour ago, she's not hungry, just greedy."

"Jungkook!" you exclaim, holding back a laugh at his completely honest expression while he shows no big deal of what he has just said.

"What, it's true!" he laughs, "I'm not gonna rush back to the house for some fucking sausages." he mutters mockingly so only you can hear, the beer almost coming out of your nose after you decide to take a sip right as he says it.

You laugh together, not being able to hold it back while you're trying to cover your mouth at least.

"Come on, you two! Join us!" Sona calls out to you, interrupting the moment between you two as she waves you over.

"You're living with Jungkook at the moment, right?"

It's something they all must've known at some point, though this is the first time anyone addresses it besides Mrs. Jeon's phone call you remember very freshly.

"Ah, yes." you grin, a little embarrassed for some reason.

Perhaps it's just you and your issue with not wanting to look incapable or like a burden. It's a whole another chapter to be talking about it in front of Jungkook's family. Though they've never given you a reason to feel embarrassed or weird about anything, you do find yourself tensing a little at the topic. Calm down, Y/N. They're just having a normal conversation with you.

After Sona's question, you offer them a brief explanation of what actually happened and force you to make this decision. They all seem understanding, making no big deal of you staying at Jungkook's place – even though you know there's no reason why they would make a big deal out of it. At the end of the day, it's Jungkook's business and not theirs. You do feel way better when they actually encourage you for your decision, assuring you that you've done the right thing.

"... I don't understand how someone can do that to the person they rent their place to." Mrs. Jeon scoffs a little, the rest of the family members nodding along her words as they silently agree.

"It's unfortunate really," Jungwon agrees, "But this can happen unfortunately."

"You mentioned something about finding a new place?" Sona asks curiously and you nod, a spark of hope crossing over your features as you nod with a smile.

"Yes!" you respond, "Well I haven't been there to see it yet, but the apartment looks good. Actually I texted the owner and I'm still waiting for him to get back to me, it seems like many people are interested in it. That's just my guess though."

"Well, we're gonna hope you get your own home soon." Mrs. Jeon smiles kindly at you. "Nothing's better than having your own place."

"Thank you." you smile kindly at her, appreciating the honesty and kindness.

Jungkook remains silent, at least was busy talking to his dad on the side for most of the time, but he's standing right next to you.

It got a little chilly and though you have one of Jungkook's hoodies on, you feel the warmth radiating off his body and you wish you could just snuggle closer to him to feel even warmer. Plus, you're getting tired even though it's not that late and cuddling always seems like a good option.

Sona and Jungwon say their goodbye's shortly after, poor Haru already falling asleep in her father's arms as he carries her to their car. You help Jungkook's parents to clean up and after the little nudge from Jungkook telling you to go wash up first, you listen to him. He must've noticed your tiredness and you smile at him appreciatively.

The shower feels nice and even though you would prefer taking a long bath, you stick to your shower routine rather quickly not to take up the bathroom for too long. Mr. Jeon takes his turn after the bathroom is free, offering you a tired yet warm smile before he scurries to their bedroom.

You lay on Jungkook's bed with the night lamp on, scrolling through your social media for a couple of minutes until you don't hear any other footsteps. Jungkook didn't come upstairs to wash up and you wonder what's taking him so long. After realizing you didn't bring a bottle of water to the bedroom, you sigh and make your way downstairs.

On your way down, you notice the lights are on in the living room and what sounds like soft sobs reach your ears. You halt your steps, breath hitching when you glance around the corner to find Jungkook's mom whose shoulders quiver as she cries to his shoulder. You mentally gasp at the sad sight, wondering what the hell happened.

Jungkook doesn't notice you at first, too busy hugging his mother with one hand as he gently caresses her arm.

"It's okay, mom." he mutters, voice slightly high while he can't bear the sight of his mother crying.

You don't mean to stick around, feeling like you're interrupting their moment for sure. However, just when you're about to forget the water and retrieve back to the room, Jungkook notices you. He sees the confusion, yet worry on your face while he sends a soft, but broken smile in return. You fight the urge to go there and be there for him, but you know now it's not the right time and you have to put your worry aside.

It doesn't make sense, at least not until Mrs. Jeon sniffles and says into Jungkook's shoulder;

"How could she do that to you?"

You swear your heart drops the moment she speaks, Jungkook's eyes staying on yours while he raises his brows in a silent empathy.

"You went through that all alone?"

Her voice cracks and Jungkook presses his lips together to prevent himself from breaking down. He looks composed though, and strong because no matter what his mother is going through right now after finding out what her son went through, he came to terms with it. He experienced heartbreak, pain and loss, but he's moving on and it doesn't hurt like it used to.

It doesn't make it easier to see his mother's understandable reaction though.

"Shh, I'm okay mom. I'm okay." he assures her, voice slightly breaking as he hugs her closer, placing his cheek against the top of her head as she continues to cry for him.

Deciding you shouldn't stick around, you offer Jungkook a tiny and sad smile before you quickly make your way upstairs.

When the room is swallowed in darkness and you stare into the ceiling, you keep replaying the scene you've just seen. You wonder if she's okay. If Jungkook is too. He seemed fine. He looked mostly sad because of his mother crying which is understandable. Their bond is strong.

It's clear what Jungkook revealed to his mother and though you're not sure how much he told her, you know it had to be heartbreaking to hear it. She loves her sons deeply, and to know Jungkook really had a hard time and she didn't know, wasn't there for him, is enough to be heartbreaking for any mother.

Jungkook never specifically said he won't tell her. But he might've hinted on not wanting to, fearing her reaction and for mostly, hurting her with the truth. In a way, he was protecting her from it.

There are continuous footsteps and sounds of movements outside of the room, soon replaced by door closing and shower running. You keep tossing in the bed, wondering whether you should go downstairs and check on Jungkook once the whole house quiets down.

You don't really want to come out as nosy and if Jungkook wanted to let you know, he would already stop by. Not going to lie, you are curious to know what he told her even though it's obvious. But you're mostly worried.

Sighing in annoyance to yourself, you get out of the bed as your feet pad against the floor. Just as you're reaching for the door handle, it suddenly gets pushed open before you can even touch it, causing you to almost shit yourself.

"Shit!"

"Heard that one before."

"Oh my god," you touch your forehead to rub it a few times as Jungkook sneaks inside the room, the amusement once again present in his voice as he silently laughs at your reaction. "You scared me."

"Where were you going?" he asks, ignoring your statement as you both make your way to the bed. At least you do and Jungkook follows.

"To check on you," you answer. "But I didn't know if I should. I told myself you would come here if you wanted to talk."

"I came." he says gently, getting under the covers with you but you decide not to comment on it.

You lay on your back, back staring at your ceiling as you stay in utter silence. Jungkook lays on his side, turned to you while his fingertips start to draw random patterns on your exposed arm. You gulp, close to shivering from how nice it feels.

"I told her," he says quietly.

You lick your dry lips, humming in return. "What did you tell her?"

Jungkook knows you know what the topic of their conversation was. He hears it in your voice. And he's aware of you asking what exactly he told her. So he simply says;

"Everything."

"Everything as in...?" you trail off and Jungkook chuckles at how careful you appear to be.

"Yes, everything."

That's all you need to know.

"How do you feel?"

"Surprisingly, okay." he says, surprised by himself. "I thought I would feel awful after telling her what I've been through, especially since she asked you and obviously had her doubts. You know I don't want to bother her, not even when it comes to me." he whispers as he explains.

You nod understandably.

"It wasn't easy to see her breaking down in front of me. I don't like to see people I care about cry. It's one of the reasons why I don't share my personal struggles."

"I know, that's awfully touching and annoying for us." you joke quietly, causing him to quietly laugh.

"But she's okay. I think she mostly cried because I didn't tell her sooner. But I think she would cry either way, no matter the time." he chuckles a little sadly.

"Why did you tell her? I thought you didn't want them to know."

"To be honest, I was planning it. I don't really need them looking at me differently, or to pity me from a distance even though I'm aware they all care extremely about me. I just want to be the same Jungkook for them, you know what I mean?"

You nod.

"But when you were talking with Sona, mom and dad, even Jungwon... asked me about Kiko and as you know, I only told them we broke up because our relationship wasn't what it was. They just asked about her, and couldn't possibly understand what must've happened for us to break things off. And I get it, I do. They saw our relationship from the front row as some might say, she was practically our family,"

He takes a breath.

"From what I understood, they thought we're on good terms and I don't know... I guess I felt sick of hiding it from them. It felt right to tell them at that time, so I started with mom. Coincidentally, she asked about how I'm doing and all that, it was just a great opportunity to tell her."

"I'm happy for you, Kook. I mean, I don't know if that's the right thing to say but I hope you feel better after telling them." you tell him gently as the caressing of his fingers stops for a second.

"I'm not sure if I feel better, I can't really define it. I just feel like I don't have this burden on my chest, you know?"

"Well, as long as you don't regret telling her, I think it's a good thing you feel this way."

"I don't regret it. I'm gonna tell Jungwon tomorrow, I'm supposed to meet him before we return back home. I asked mom to tell dad, I don't really want to go through that all over again but I'm sure my dad won't cry his eyes out for me. He's a tough guy."

You know what he means.

His father might not have a reaction like his wife had, but it's still going to be painful for him to hear Jungkook's story.

You yawn, turning onto your side to face Jungkook as he retrieves his hand, chuckling at the evident tiredness.

"Shit, I don't know why I'm so tired. I woke up the last out of everyone." you scold yourself, much to Jungkook's amusement.

"I took a number on you, huh?"

You roll your eyes, not really denying it because that has definitely something to do with it.

"Are you gonna sleep here?" you yawn again, cuddling to your pillow as Junkook snorts.

"Of course, this is my bedroom."

With your closed eyes, you smile tiredly. "Your mom–"

"My mom won't do anything," he interrupts you, "What she doesn't know won't kill her."

You snort, "You're unbelievable."

"So are you, baby." he muses, "Now go to sleep."

You let out a laugh, ignoring the flattering of your heart from the usual and dearing pet name, allowing yourself to fall asleep in Jungkook's close and comfortable proximity.

"So... what do you think?"

Jungkook awaited this question, so once you turn around with an excitement plastered all over your face, it's no surprise. You've been practically glowing the moment you crossed the doorstep. To be honest, he's sure you've been impressed as soon as you got out of the car and saw the neighborhood.

You've been back from Busan for three days when the owner of the apartment you're interested in finally gave you the date to go there and have a look. Of course he agreed when you asked him if he's going to accompany you. He promised you he'll be there for you. And so he is.

The building is unique and so is the apartment itself. The owner told you you could bring your own furniture since there's no bed, couch or anything you were forced to sell because of what happened with the other apartment. It doesn't bother you for sure, he's sure of it because he knows you're excited to furniture it again. You're also excited to have a place of your own, even if it's still a rented apartment but unfortunately, you can't afford to get a mortgage nor do you want to do that at the moment.

Jungkook knows all about your plans, you've talked about them a few times.

So when he sees happiness, hope and excitement – there is no reason why he should lie to you.

"It's great. I love it." he smiles and you almost squeal in another excitement but you're trying to contain it.

The owner seems to be nice – in his forties – living nearby with his wife and kids. He loves this apartment so much that he didn't want to hire any real estate agent. He could've easily avoided any other responsibility but it looks like he cares about who's going to live in his apartment. He even tells you – amongst telling you every important information about the apartment – how this was the first apartment he was able to buy. He lived here with his girlfriend who's now his wife.

"It's small enough for four of us, so we had to move out when my wife got pregnant but trust me. If we all could fit here, we would be living here." He told you which made both of you chuckle.

"I would say this place is wonderful for a young couple." Mr. Hwang – as he introduced himself to you – butts in while your eyes widen.

"Oh no, we're not–this apartment is just for me." you explain, Jungkook looking around completely unfazed by the assumption. Don't people always assume something?

"Oh, I'm sorry!" He's quick to apologize.

He had no way to know it's only for you. Well, you did contact him about being interested but you never really shared information about you being the only one who would live there. And to be completely clear, you came here with Jungkook which wouldn't have to mean anything at all – but his assumption isn't this huge mistake.

Still, you find your cheeks getting warm as you assure him it's alright.

Mr. Hwang excuses himself when his phone starts to ring and he leaves you both standing in the middle of the living room.

"Why do people always have to assume whenever a woman is seen with a man, they have to automatically date?" you hiss once he's away.

You turn to Jungkook who looks at you with big eyes, before they narrow into thin slits as he laughs at your showing annoyance.

"Doesn't that bother you?"

Jungkook cracks a grin, "I don't care what people think." he shrugs causing you to groan.

In reality, Jungkook understands your frustration and it's not like you're overly frustrated because of it. Observant and maybe a tad annoyed is the right definition.

"Stop with the sour face."

His brows shoot up as he looks at you confusingly. "What sour face?"

"You really don't want me to move out?" you ask him with a grin, slowly making your way in his direction as the teasing begins and Jungkook is aware of it. Which is why he responds with a roll of his doe eyes.

"I'm happy you found your place."

"That's not what I'm talking about," you point out, giggling when he narrows his eyes at you in annoyance. "Would you really want me to take up your office? Come on, we both know it wasn't ideal."

"I like having you as my roommate," he informs and then cracks a grin, "Even if you take up my office space."

You nudge him in his chest causing him to laugh. You bicker a little, especially by trying to pinch or grab one another. That's until Mr. Hwang comes back, apologizing again for having to take the call. It causes you to act like proper adults instead of kids bickering with each other.

When he asks the important question, you share a look with Jungkook and despite his previous words, he encourages you with a smile and soft nod which makes you look excitedly at Mr. Hwang.

"Yes. I'd love to live here."

The next few days are hectic.

Not only are you about to move into your new apartment, there is loads of stuff to be bought and ordered. Jungkook helps you every step of the way, even driving you to all the furniture shops your mind comes up with. Not mentioning he's the one carrying the heavy things and disassembling your bed.

You feel bad though.

As per usual, he assures you it's okay and he's happy to help. You both know you have no one else who would do this much for you. Jimin and Taehyung would try but – do they even know how to disassemble a single bed? They would probably mess around the whole time.

All of this happened fast.

Mr. Hwang told you you could move in right after the contract has been signed and you paid the deposit. You wouldn't want to waste any more time than it's necessary. So you started ordering the furniture pieces you need, having them delivered to your new address. Everything should arrive tomorrow and today happens to be your last day living in Jungkook's apartment.

Despite your excitement and anticipation of decorating your new home, you do feel sad gathering all your things and packing them back to the boxes that were never thrown away.

Jungkook isn't the only one who got used to having a roommate.

If it was anyone else, you're not sure if you would feel comfortable with them. With Jungkook, everything is different and even if this was for the time being, you felt comfortable and his place felt like home to you.

Not going to lie. You will miss his amazing bathtub and shower.

"You can come take a bath anytime you want."

That's what he told you and brought a smile to your faces.

"Should we do anything special? Celebrate?" Jungkook asks as he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Hm, what do you have in mind?"

It's already evening – too late to make any big celebrations. Do you even feel like celebrating? You've both been back to working, even Jimin and Taehyung have been busy with their jobs.

"Take-away and maybe a glass of wine?" he suggests, not really having much to offer considering the time. None of you are in the mood to get dressed up and go out.

After a whole day of working and then packing as soon as you've gotten home – to Jungkook's place – going out is out of the question.

So take-away and a glass of wine it is.

You both clean up, wiping all the sweat from the entire day. While you're in a shower, Jungkook orders food after checking with you and even though you've agreed – you're still touched to see your favorite food which happens to be Korean food from a local restaurant. It's the one that's slightly pricey but worth every penny.

You talk, mostly about tomorrow's plans since you have to wake up early to get to your new place where the new furniture will be delivered. Jimin and Taehyung are supposed to come too to help, which you appreciate. They wouldn't take any of your words for a "no", insisting on helping you. Well, you didn't protest too much. Four people do more work than just two – you're sure Jungkook is the one who's got the most work.

The wine tastes nice and you're on your second glass when you feel your face getting a nice warm temperature. It suddenly makes you oddly sad to be sitting in Jungkook's kitchen, almost like saying goodbye which is ridiculous.

Jimin was right.

You're bad with changes.

You never denied it.

And this is one of them. You know you will bounce back once you're alone, but now having Jungkook close and thinking you won't be waking up every morning knowing there's someone else there, feels sad.

You also know how fortunate you're when it comes to finding this apartment. And for it to be only yours. Most people have to have a roommate, if not more than one. This opportunity feels like a sign for the universe and you should be joyful about it. You are. But you will miss this.

Once you're done, teeth brushed and tucked in Jungkook's bed, there's something unspoken lingering in the air as you both lay in the room with lights off. With your bed already ready to be taken to your new place tomorrow, Jungkook's bed seems like the best option for you and who are you not to use this opportunity. You hate to admit how much you enjoy simply being next to him, a nice feeling before you will have your bed all to yourself and you'll be left alone.

A couple of minutes of constant staring at the ceiling slowly turns to shifting, you sigh as you rub your face. On the other side of the bed, Jungkook turns to face you as the thin sheets rustle around him. You thought he fell asleep by now.

"Are you okay?" he chuckles, causing you to do the same when you realize you haven't been very subtle at showing your lack of exhaustion.

The thing is that you're tired, especially from the wine but somehow you can't fall asleep. It's nothing unusual since it happened to you quite a few times.

"Are you nervous about the moving process?" Jungkook asks softly as you turn to your side to properly face him, a hand tucked beneath your cheek as you give him a sigh.

"No. Not really, I'm excited." you admit, "I just can't seem to be tired enough."

"You know... I'm proud of you. I don't think I've told you that these days." Jungkook says as your brows shoot up in a silent surprise.

"Proud of me?" you breathe out a chuckle.

"Mhm," he hums, "I know you felt like a nuisance which is far from the truth, I know you hate relying on someone else but look at you. You've found yourself a new place, you've got a good job and you're doing good."

Your heart warms up at his thoughtful and caring words. They feel like the greatest balm onto your beating heart. To hear someone is proud of you – you don't get to hear that often – is something that makes you nearly emotional and you hold back any tears that might come out.

It's not Jungkook's intention to make you cry or him wanting to turn into a sappy person in the middle of the night. He's warm and caring when it's needed but he doesn't say this kind of stuff often either. So it makes you cherish this moment even more.

"Thank you." you whisper softly, smiling at Jungkook who you're not sure can even see you.

A gentle sound comes out of his mouth, the one who tells you he has smiled back.

A sudden urge to pee interrupts the moment though and you groan, informing Jungkook about having to use the bathroom. He laughs while you make your way to the bathroom. Once you're done, Jungkook seems to be still fully awake which isn't much of a surprise. You didn't expect him to be asleep in two minutes – which you wouldn't put past him too much.

You lay back on the bed, adjusting your pillow before your head falls back onto the soft material.

Not even five minutes later, you groan once again rather loudly, slapping your arms at your sides as Jungkook cackles silently. Standing up, you make your way to the kitchen when you turn on the dim lightning. Opening the fridge, you take out the cold bottle of wine that you and Jungkook haven't finished. You pour yourself a glass of wine, hoping for it to tire you some more.

Sipping on the wine, you try not to think about how depressing you must look like – mentally laughing at the image. You've got no thoughts, just simply enjoying the taste of wine and your last night at this place.

A sound of soft footsteps follows and a moment after, Jungkook joins you in the kitchen with squinted eyes as he scans you and the glass of wine in your hand. "You okay?" He cracks a grin as you silently giggle and nod.

Are you? You're not sure because of the lack of clothing he's wearing. You swear you could stare at those abs all day.

"Just can't sleep."

"And wine is going to help?" He grins, wrapping his fingers around your hand as he tilts the glass in his direction as he takes a sip. Lips in a straight line for a second, he tastes the flavor on his lips while his eyes flicker to yours, waiting for your answer.

Too preoccupied with staring at him, you realize you haven't responded as you avert your gaze and crack another grin. "Should it not?"

He leans against the counter, arms crossing over his chest and biceps bulging, you choose to take a sip to distract yourself. But trying to distract yourself in Jungkook's presence is almost impossible, especially when he opens that dirty mouth of his.

"I could've tired you out in a much more sophisticated way."

The wine almost gets through your nose and with a hand over your mouth, you're trying not to choke as Jungkook shoots you a pleased smirk.

He might've caught you off guard, but you can't deny what could possibly be a verbal act of teasing, does to you. Your body heats up at his suggestion and instead of scolding him, you decide to play his own game. That's what the two of you do, right? Tease each other until you properly act on it. You wouldn't mind that outcome to be honest.

"You could've. I don't know why you didn't suggest it while we were in bed." you hum, turning to him a little as you swirl the goldish liquid in your glass.

Jungkook's eyes spark with mischief and amusement, tongue poking his cheek. "I don't need a bed for that though."

One point for him.

"Hm, really?" you muse, biting your lower lip as you finish the glass and place it back on the counter.

Stepping closer to him, you're face to face as you confidently place your palms over his buffed exposed chest. The skin is warm and soft, edging you to feel him up until you have enough. Controlling yourself, you focus on his eyes instead while something rolls in the pit of your stomach. Palms giving him soft caressing, staying solely on his chest, you mimic his tiny smirk.

"So you could ruin me?" You recall what he told you.

The truth is, you haven't forgotten and you've caught yourself thinking about it too many times. What are Jungkook's boundaries? What does he want to do to your body? Perhaps if this was any other man, you wouldn't be so adamant on finding out. But you trust Jungkook with every fiber in your body, there's nothing but curiosity, excitement and lust.

Something flickers in his gaze, a recognition of his once said words as he stares you down amusingly.

"I know what you're doing."

"Hm, what am I doing?" you ask, playfully glancing at him once again as you catch yourself staring at his chest, where your hands caress it.

"You little minx, you know." he chuckles, "You're trying to provoke me."

"Oh, I do?" you feign innocence, chuckling at yourself right after while you and Jungkook share a knowing look.

This constant teasing and provoking is what makes your body heat up. It's hard not to squeeze your legs together as a wave of arousal washes through you.

Jungkook leans down, hands on your lower back as he squeezes your sides, inching his face closer to yours. His nose touches yours and you're embarrassed how quickly you're prepared for the kiss. But the kiss never happens and Jungkook decides to play with you for a while, nudging his nose against yours before he opens his dirty mouth again.

"You horny?"

Groaning and ignoring his laugh, you slap his chest and take a step back. "You just ruined it."

He laughs louder, rubbing his nose before he catches you before you can walk away, turning you with your back facing him. He presses you against him, your ass touching his crotch while he squeezes your hips once again.

"What's ruined can be fixed."

And then he delivers a soft kiss to your jaw.

"That's very debatable." you breathe out, turning around as much as you enjoyed his lips on your skin.

Wanting to gain at least some kind of dominance, you press him harder into the counter as you raise your brow at him in challenge. A tiny smirk comes to your lips. Your hands no longer stay on his chest, making way down to his abs that flex under your touch and you let out a breathy chuckle. Jungkook's watching you, cocking his brow at you when you glance at him. He's waiting for your next step and deciding you want to make him react, you cup his groin as your thumb caresses the head hidden beneath his boxers.

He wasn't expecting you to do that, therefore he flinches at the sudden and straight-forward touch and your lips curve in a silent win.

"What? You think you're the only one with tricks up their sleeve?" you tease, his doe eyes narrowing as he licks his lips.

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and you feel your walls of short-lived dominance and power falling down. Especially when he flickers gently your chin with his index finger.

"Not at all."

"So?" You raise your brow in impatience again.

"So, what?"

You roll your eyes while he tries to hide a smile. "I'm starting to think you're all talk, Jeon."

His brows shoot up before he nods with his lips pursed in a mocking manner.

"Yeah, you are. Talking about ruining me, then saying I'm not ready. Whatever that means... and then you don't do any–what the hell?"

Tucking his arms behind your thighs, in one swift movement you're thrown over Jungkook's shoulder. He tries to stabilize you through your yelps and once you're safe, he starts walking to his bedroom.

A rush of excitement overcomes your body and just when you giggle, a slap is delivered onto your ass which shuts you up.

Before you can say anything, Jungkook kicks the bedroom door ajar and sets you onto his bed.

"You want me to ruin you?" he asks, standing at the end of the bed as he stares down at you and your disheveled appearance due to your shock.

Walking to his nightstand, he turns off his night lamp and you get a perfect view of his darkened eyes. 

"Isn't that what I asked for?" you breathe out, not hiding how breathy you got all of a sudden. The adrenaline and lust do their job.

"I will ruin you until you cry." It sounds like a promise.

"You sound confident." you comment, smirking as he frowns before he hovers over you.

Not responding, he starts kissing your jaw slowly continuing down your neck as he tugs on your oversized shirt but he doesn't urge you to take it off. Nor he says anything once he pulls away, giving you a subtle smirk before he plops on his back in the middle of the bed. He lowers down onto the soft pillows.

"Come here."

You sit up, confused and curious, and make your way towards him as he ushers you to get on his lap. You do, trying not to stare at the slowly growing bulge between his thighs while he licks his lips.

"Sit on my face."

"Pardon?"

He laughs silently, making himself even more comfortable with your weight on him. "Sit on my face."

You know what that means. Despite not trying it before, you're not a clueless person to these things. You just can't believe you're actually hearing him say it.

"I know it's cliché to say this but... wouldn't I suffocate you? Because I'm not sure if I can hold myself up for too—"

"Y/N, baby," he sighs, "Just fucking come sit on my face."

"Okay." you repeat, releasing a nervous chuckle as you stare down at your shirt.

"Take it off. All of it." he prompts you and you listen.

His eyes never leave your figure, watching silently the entire time you undress right in front of him. He eyes you up and down as if you were the finest meal, even though he has seen you naked more than any of the men you've been before. Men – if they can be called that.

It's one of the things why it works so well between you and him. He makes you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. There might be times when you're nervous, wondering what he's thinking about you or your body, though he never gave you even a reason to question him about that. Jungkook might be great at hiding a lot of things, but voicing how much he likes sex with you is not one of them. You both aren't hiding this obvious fact.

He stares at your hardened nipples, before he watches you take off your underwear and toss it on the floor. And then with the slightest smirk, he motions for you to get closer to him and finally sit on his face.

You're impossibly wet, but rather than feel embarrassed about it, you get this boost of confidence and dominance once you hover over Jungkook. He grabs you by the back of your thighs, moving your heat right in front of his face as he takes in the sight. Licking his lips, he briefly tells you to grab onto the headboard.

His hot breath fans you between your thighs and you shudder, your hands grabbing the wooden headboard before he pushes you down onto his face. You gasp, both from the shock and indescribable feeling of Jungkook's mouth on you. His nose pokes your clit, tongue gathering the wetness before his mouth starts to move.

You're trying to hold yourself up, somewhere in the back of your mind still thinking about not wanting to physically hurt him but as soon as you move even an inch from his face, he growls and pushes you down.

"Holy shit."

Jungkook's mouth is preoccupied, therefore there is no time for any verbal reactions but even then, he hums pleasantly against you and you swear you hear him moaning in the middle of it.

Back arching and body moving on its own, you start grinding against his face while your knuckles turn white from how hard you're gripping the black wood. Apart from this being a completely new sensation and experience for you, you would give Jungkook the highest rate there could be. Losing a track of time and focusing on the pleasure, you inform him of being close to reaching an awesome orgasm that could easily tire you out.

Your body tenses, barely comprehending what's happening around you or even outside of this apartment, you're waiting for the sudden snap of the knot that's sitting in the pit of your stomach.

But as easily the hunt for orgasm has come, it leaves even quicker once Jungkook stops moving his mouth and pushes you up. Your face is curled in mortification, worried you might've suffocated him and the fit of scolding is on tip of your tongue once you quickly check on him.

However – despite his heavy breathing – you're met with his glistening face and mouth curved in satisfaction. "You're not cumming that easily, baby."

You get off him, staring wide-eyed with an open mouth, you stutter over your words. Is he seriously in the mood to deny your orgasm? You wanted to play but this is now what you had in mind. But before any complaints could make it into the thick air, Jungkook sits up and wipes his face with your shirt that's been laying on the edge of his bed. He tosses it on the ground, focusing on you once again as he grabs you by the back of your neck and kisses you harshly.

Annoyance comes and goes as soon as you feel his soft pillows, tasting yourself on his tongue. He hums into the kiss, detaching your lips despite your whines.

Leaning his forehead against yours, you're too close to kiss him again. As if he could read your mind, he chuckles raspily as he gently shakes his head.

"Jeon, just fuck me." you whine, pouting at him which makes him laugh again.

"I will," he promises, gently giving a rub to your chin with his thumb. "Do we need a condom?"

He asked what?

Surprised, you pull away slightly to stare at his face to make sure you heard him right, but the same question lingers in his dark awaiting eyes.

"You heard me right," he assures you, chuckling again as he can't help but find you both funny and cute. "Do we need a condom?"

You don't realize what weight his question holds, though it's pretty simple. He's asking you if you want to act upon your desire now. The one that's been on your mind for what seems like forever. Maybe now it's not the right time to be thinking how much you appreciate him asking you beforehand, even though it's a bare minimum you would discuss anyway. But still, he's waiting for your answer and the call is completely up to you. You're the one holding power.

Knowing you could easily say no for whatever reason, Jungkook has definitely a pack of condoms hidden somewhere. He's letting you know he's fine with either.

"Are you sure?" you ask silently, trying to shake yourself out of the shock as he gives you a gentle smile that almost melts your heart.

"I am," he confirms, "Are you?"

This being the last night you actually live together, it does seem like a nice way to say goodbye to you being roomies, a way to celebrate it perhaps. Or it's just your stupid thoughts but whatever it is, you've known your answer right after he asked it. All the possible arguments with yourself or annoying overthinking is pushed aside.

"We don't need it." you confirm this time, ignoring how excited you're getting by the thought.

"Then lay back for me."

You do, staring at the ceiling for a second before you watch him make his way out of the room. Confused and baffled, you mentally sigh in relief once he comes back not even a minute after, showing you the sex toy in his hand.

"Why?" you ask simply, giggling when he tosses it next to you and hover over you with a toothy grin.

"You'll see."

Opening your mouth to complain, he shuts you up with his own mouth as he gives you a few very needed kisses as he pulls away. You rank your hands down his chest and to the hem of his boxers, pouting a little.

"I wanted to have my own fun with you." you shamelessly admit, making him laugh.

"Some next time, yeah?"

"But why?" you whine, rubbing him through his underwear just to find him fully hard.

"Oh, you're impatient, aren't you?" you tease and he rolls his eyes, poking you in your rib as you giggle.

"That might be the reason. But I also need you to be fully present. You can choke on my cock some other time."

You choke on your spit, slapping his bicep as he hides his face in the crook of your neck to hide his smile. He gently bites you there, a low hum making it out of your mouth. Despite his words, you still sneak your hand under his boxers and give him a few pumps. He lets out a breathy chuckle, looking down at you through lust filled eyes.

"You just can't help yourself, can you?" he chuckles.

"Nope."

The smile on your face doesn't last long, how can it when in one swift motion, Jungkook turns you over and harshly puts your ass up, hands gripping the soft flesh. His breath fans over the side of your face before his lips brush against your ear. "Is this how you want it?"

Honestly, you don't care in what position he puts you in. As long as he finally fucks you.

"Yeah. Just please, do something." you whine a little, perching your ass up much to his amusement.

He palms your ass. "Last chance, Y/N." Jungkook reminds you, causing you to lift your face up as you glance at him.

Blowing out a slow breath, you crack a tiny grin. "You want me to change my mind?" you tease, but raise your brow while you wait for his answer.

"Just reminding you because there's no going back."

The only reason he's reminding you of this is because of you. At the beginning, you had a hard time admitting out loud you want him like this. Most people probably don't take this seriously just as much as you do. You've been unsure from the start, though the excitement and curiosity has been piqued. You're responsible, always took precautionary measures – both of you did – because you're not in a position to risk anything. Jungkook and you don't sleep with other people, that's the whole point of you hooking up together in the first place. But you both still made sure you were safe.

But now you're about to take that part of safety away. It makes you a little paranoid, considering Jungkook's previous situation but it's not fair to compare it to that. That's what has been stopping you from fully saying fuck it and just do it. But you want to do exactly that.

Why is this even a big deal?

People have unprotected sex all the time. You and Jungkook know each other, and trust each other. He's not a stranger. You'll do this one time and you're done. You'll quench your curiosity, excitement and thirst – everything will go back to normal.

You're done overthinking this. This is what you want. What you both want.

And Jungkook is still here, making sure he won't possibly ruin things. He wants to check in with you, even now when you're seconds from pinning him to the mattress and doing things your own way.

"I know," you whisper. "I don't want to go back. I won't."

He studies your face for a second longer, leaning toward you as he presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder blade. You shiver, arching your ass as it brushes over his length making him chuckle at your anticipation.

"Alright, let's do this. Let me ruin you."

"I'm all yours." you comment amusingly, facing forward as Jungkook lets out a soft laugh.

Fuck, this is really happening. Your heart is racing when you hear Jungkook taking off his boxers, going back to his previous position that is behind you. The mattress dips under his weight and knees, hands gripping your ass as he spreads your cheek apart. Cool air hits you between your thighs, your core aching for him and only him. Fuck, you've never wanted him inside you this much.

"You're dripping baby." he says as the tip of his fingers touches your wetness, rubbing you up and down which makes you let out a shameless whimper.

"Don't comment on that, it's embarrassing." you manage to choke out, cheek pressed back against the sheets while your breathing quickens up.

Jungkook breathes out another chuckle, "I find it hot."

He retrieves his fingers, something you only feel and ready to whine again, you're interrupted when you hear a humming sound coming from his lips as he licks his fingers off. Holy shit. There's no time to look back, to see the devouring sight that's stolen from you because of your position. All is forgotten when the long awaiting friction suddenly comes, the head of his cock poking your clit as he smears your wetness there. You're a fucking mess. 

Embarrassed to admit this, you're already close to cumming and he has barely done anything. You're not kidding, you're going crazy because of this.

One hand on your hip to hold you in place and get a good grip on you, his other hand is wrapped around his cock as he aligns it with your hole. Holding your breath, your whole body tingles with anticipation and excitement. And then finally. The head of his cock presses against your opening, sinking inside you as your wet and warm walls stretch around him. Since you haven't been stretched before this, the pressure brings the greatest pain and pleasure at the same time and holy fuck, it feels like you're in an entire different universe. You feel every inch of him, everything you haven't felt before because of the stupid barrier in form of condoms. And even knowing that he's still pushing himself inside you, you know it's going to be freaking hard to go back to condoms.

Whole body shuddering, you let out a low, almost inaudible moan into the sheets, gripping them in your fists as Jungkook finally fills you to the brim. Oh my god.

"Mhm, fuck." he mutters behind you, his cock twitching inside you.

The completely new feeling comes rushing down on you as your whole body crumbles down, walls clenching around his thick and hard length as you shamelessly grind and let go. This has never happened to you before, the realization not hitting you until you calm down from your high.

"Holy fuck. Did you just cum?" Jungkook asks in awe, hands gripping your ass even tighter.

Fuck, you really did. 

It's more than clear to him. He could never mistake your orgasm for something else. But rather than tease you about it, he finds it hot and has a hard time controlling himself.

His cock is nestled deep inside you, still stretching your walls and despite your previous orgasm, your thirst is not fully quenched.

"Fuck." you moan into the sheets.

"You're so fucking hot. I might bust my nut." The idea of him doing it, filling you up feels so forbidden and dirty. The feeling that it brings is unexplainable.

He feels you clenching around him, arousal coating his entire cock and it makes him wonder. "Fuck, does that idea excite you?"

You're even dirtier than he thought. You never fail to amaze him.

He knows he can't expect any sort of response from you, your body calling to him and he decides to listen to it, delivering you the pleasure he promised he would. So with one swift movement, he pulls out enough for the head of his cock to stay inside you as he thrusts back inside. You can't speak, no words escaping you to tell him how fucking good that feels but he knows it. He sees how your body reacts, he feels it.

He groans, tilting his head back as he starts snapping his hips into yours, fucking you just like he promised. His lower abdomen hits your ass cheeks as the sounds of your skin meeting fill up the air. It's nothing you've ever imagined or dreamed of. This is way better. Breaths coming out as moans, you swallow hard when you catch yourself almost salivating at the sensation and friction.

There are no words exchanged, both of you barely able to speak as keeps his pace and hits all the right spots. You feel him almost in your stomach, the dominance of his thrusts bringing you pain and pleasure.

You're close to losing it. You nearly do but then Jungkook halts all his thrusts, pulling out before he puts you onto your back.

He has never seen you so fucked out already. But your eyes are on him, surprised at the sudden change but the lust filled in them is unmistakable. He's glad he left the lights turned on, or else he wouldn't be able to admire what a pretty sight you are.

The same thing goes for you. Jungkook is driven by the lust, his entire face glowing as he traces his tattooed hand over your chest. Taking you by your thighs, he pulls you closer to him – fast and harshly – spreading your legs as he aligns with your opening again.

You both stare at each other, Jungkook dropping his eyes between your bodies for a second before he pushes in. His eyes stay on you, your own fighting to close as the same and most addicting pleasure rushes through your entire body. But you force and keep them open, both of you moaning as he fills you up. The angle is different this time, his cock pressing onto the opposite side of you and you swear if you pressed on your stomach, you would be able to feel him.

However, you don't dare to move. You're too scared to cum again and you're not sure for how long you can go before your body shuts down.

He grips you by the back of your thighs, keeping his hands there as he starts fucking you again. He watches you with dark and lust filled eyes, biting onto his lower lip harshly when you grip the sheets beside you, turning your knuckles white. With each thrust he makes, your breasts bounce, his eyes shifting between them and your own eyes before he averts his gaze to your bodies meeting.

He's watching the way he disappears inside you, his entire cock glistening with your wetness as it drips down your ass and his balls while your clit is swollen and nipples perked up. Holy fuck.

"You like it?" he asks, finding his voice that comes out way raspier than you both expect. "You like feeling my cock like this, huh?"

"Mhm, yes, fuck." you moan, shutting your eyes in pleasure as your mouth stays open.

You're left gasping, no other words leaving your mouth when he pulls out, just to press your thighs together and angling your legs to the left, as they stay pressed against the mattress before he enters you. The change of the new position makes you see stars, your teeth biting into your lower lip harshly as he's rougher this time. He's hovering over you, hands beside your body as your body shakes with pleasure.

It's safe to say you're in a complete another world right now. The amount of pleasure you're experiencing right now – you've never had that before and it feels so fucking good that it has your eyes water. You can't even make out what you're saying, every word coming out as a moan or gasp instead. But you're not loud. You're not screaming your lungs out, informing all the neighbors about your doings even though Jungkook could care less about that.

Instead, the sounds you make are soft and almost innocent like, it makes Jungkook go feral because you're anything but innocent in this moment. You're so fucked out, completely swallowed by the lust and approaching orgasm. You feel like a fucking trophy. Any guy having a woman in their bed acting like this would feel like the king of the world.

He grips the side of your face, your eyes slowly opening as you share a look. You get even tighter, Jungkook's hips halting for a second before he continues the same pace. Hand lowering to your neck, you grip his wrist and prompt him to wrap his hand around it. That's exactly what he did. You can't remember when was the last time he had his hand around your neck, the memories of it are almost faded as he gently applies pressure.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He's careful, you know he is and he never squeezes your neck to the point you would have trouble breathing. Yet his hand feels heavy and it has your eyes rolling back. I'm close, you want to say but fail miserably.

Despite Jungkook's roughness, he's still delicate in other matters because he knows. He's watching you the entire time, listening to your body and your orgasm approaching doesn't go unnoticed by him.

"Cum around my cock, baby." And that's all you need for you to let go, not even five seconds after he says it that your whole body tenses before the knot snaps inside you.

He hisses, feeling you clenching around him uncontrollably as he keeps his pace until he's forced to slow down and eventually stops once he sees you overstimulated. Pulling out, his cock slaps against his stomach, red and angry.

You open your eyes, finding Jungkook watching you as you give him a lazy smile. "I'm in heaven."

A rumble of laughter leaves his mouth, leaving you giggling as well as he brushes a few strands of your hair off your face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fucking great," you hum, catching the cocky and pleased smirk he gives you. "Give me a minute."

He leans on his knees, trying to ignore his cock screaming for attention as your eyes shamelessly stare at it. "You sure?"

"You wanted to ruin me, no?" you joke, Jungkook's lips twitching as he cocks his head to the side.

"Aren't you ruined?"

To be honest, what state you're in is not what he had in mind. There is still more he's got prepared for you, but he wouldn't want to push you past your boundaries. You already look like you're fucked out, but considering you're cracking a grin and talking to him seems like you're doing fine, still high from the mindblowing orgasm.

"'m fine. You can ruin me some more." you grin again lazily, making your legs more comfortable as you stretch them right in front of him. In your defense, it's not about flashing him but not wanting to have a cramp from the position he had you in.

But you still enjoy the way his eyes avert down between your swollen cunt, a cum mixed with your arousal dripping out of your hole. He makes you feel sexy. Especially when he looks up, meeting your gaze as you give him a sheepish smile, not embarrassed by what he sees. Because it's all thanks to him.

"Come here." you tell him, motioning with your finger to come closer as he arches a brow.

He hovers over you, silently watching as you wrap your hand around his neck while the other brushes over his chest. And then you say with the silent and most delicate voice; "Kiss me."

"You want to kiss?" he amusingly asks, pecking your lips even though a peck wasn't what you had in mind and he knows it. Teasing sh–

But he kisses you again, this time his tongue brushing against yours as he fully devours your mouth. "Have to get into the mood." you inform him between the kisses, using the moment for you to catch a breath.

"Mhm, you're no longer in the mood?" he hums against your lips as you giggle.

His hard cock brushes against your entrance and you have to control yourself from whimpering. You're all hot again, definitely not done for tonight but you're still very sensitive.

Jungkook's breath fans over your jaw, teeth nibbling onto your jaw as he says in a low tone. "We can arrange that."

Just when you think he's about to kiss you, he shoots you a smirk as he inches down, eyes still locked with yours. It's until he focuses on the swollen mess between your thighs and gives a gentle kiss to your clit. You gasp, flinching from the sensation as he looks up from between your legs to check your reaction.

"Think you can take it?"

Can you? 

You're not sure what possesses you, you know you're still sensitive down there and need a little bit of time to recover but you nod, spreading your legs even more, inviting him to continue. And god, he does. He has no mercy on you, attaching his mouth onto your cunt as he starts eating you out.

He grabs you by your thighs, mumbling a deep; "Stop running."

Not even a minute later, the complete lust comes back and there's no trace of overstimulation as you grind against his mouth that's been doing wonders. Your hands are uncontrollable, gripping and tugging onto Jungkook's hair as he growls into your center, listening to your pleas.

"I can't. I can't. I need you inside me." you plead between your moans, two orgasms already overcame which can't be said about Jungkook, who has put your pleasure first.

That's not fair, you think. Besides, you want him inside you again.

Jungkook pulls out with his chin completely drenched in your wetness, the sight making you gulp. He wipes it with the back of his hand, smearing some of it onto the sheets as he straightens up, pumping his cock slowly with his eyes set on you.

You rest onto your elbows, lifting yourself while you watch him jerking himself off. You just can't seem to pull your eyes away.

"Are you gonna spread yourself out for me or you just want to watch?" he smirks.

Ignoring his cocky attitude, you can't even react as you gulp down the saliva that gathered in your mouth. You sit up, shifting your eyes to his gaze as you turn around and get back on all fours.

"Fuck," You hear behind you. "You're the death of me."

Proudly smirking, you throw him a pleased and cocky look across your shoulder. "You love staring at my backside that much?" you tease.

Both of you know it's you who loves this position. Both of you do actually, but this time it's you who does it automatically.

One of the rare times you get to tease him and actually feel like you're doing a good job, is when Jungkook shamelessly shows his admiration or whatever it is. He's not ashamed to compliment you or show how much he loves fucking you. But it's this never ending game between you two, one you always lose because Jungkook is one step ahead of you. Whenever you feel like you've won, he does a checkmate.

Just like now.

He slaps your asscheek, chest brushing against your back as he hovers over your ear and says with the lustful voice full of desire. "Shame I can't see your pretty face though."

Your body grows hot at that, cheeks flaming hot at the blunt compliment that makes you clench around nothing. This is the time where you've no idea whether he says this kind of stuff to make you all hot, to fluster you or because he really means it. Whatever he's doing, it's working and you're practically willing to do anything for him at this moment.

You haven't had many sex partners in your life to begin with, but none of them had such a dirty mouth and power to say such things to you. Damn, some time ago you never even knew this was your kind of thing. Jungkook has taught you so much, but most importantly you learned much about yourself thanks to him. Maybe he's not even realizing it but you are.

There's no beating around the bush, no more talking as Jungkook guides his hard cock to your opening and slowly enters you again. He lets out a pleased sigh, followed by a silent moan from you as your walls welcome him again. The sensation feels like the first time all over again. Someone would think you got used to it, this being the second time Jungkook enters you with no protection and barrier between you, but no. You can't get used to it, meaning it feels just as amazing when he entered you like this the first time.

One hand on your hip to hold you in place, he gives your asscheek a rough squeeze as he moves his other hand up and grabs you by the back of your neck. He gives you no warning this time, though maintains his gentle manner when he starts thrusting into you. You writhe beneath him in pleasure, moaning his name and pleas as he picks up the pace and makes your body grow even hotter.

Beads of sweat coats your skin, your mouth open in an absolute pleasure and desire. He keeps holding you down, getting needier and rougher with his thrusts while you can't even think straight. When you thought your eyes were watering before, it's even more intense now as your tears start pricking your eyes. He lets go off your neck, delivering your ass a proper slap and you lift yourself up, gripping the sheets beneath you as tears stream down your cheeks.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." you cry out. You've never heard yourself to be this desperate before. Let alone for a man. Sex does wonders. Jungkook does wonders.

"Fuck, look at me." he says, ushering to meet his gaze as you barely angle your face to look at him.

He leans what seems like toward you but you're mistaken when shortly after, you hear a familiar buzzing and before your fucked out mind can comprehend what he's doing, he's pressing the sex toy against your clit. A new wave and uncontrollable pleasure washes over you, leaving you sobbing loudly while Jungkook curses behind you. His eyes are shut, head leaned back as you get a clear sight of a line of sweat trailing down his neck and chest. He opens those dark lust filled eyes, your eyes meeting again and that's the final end for you.

He has officially ruined you. 

You've never cum harder, your body on fire and trembling as your walls squeeze him repeatedly as you squirt all over yourself. Jungkook audibly curses again, growling when your orgasm dies down and you have barely any strength to hold yourself up. It all happens quickly as he pulls out of you, gets you on your back as you stare at him through teary and exhausted eyes. He jerks off quickly, throwing his head back and cums with the deepest moan, spilling all over your stomach and chest.

Both of you sweaty and chests heaving rapidly, Jungkook hangs his head low as he looks at you through his fringe falling onto his eyes, some of the strands sticking to his forehead and face.

It's hard to describe exactly what you're feeling. Your heartbeat is in your ears, your chest hurts from how you're trying to catch a breath and amongst this all, you feel like you're ten seconds from passing out.

Even through his harsh breathing and his own need to calm down, he gets closer to you and cups your face. "Are you with me, baby?"

Baby? What's he thinking? He has already ruined you, there's no need for more.

You give him a brief nod, your eyes closing.

"Shit."

Why does he sound so alarmed? 

"Look at me baby."

You do. You're aware of what he's saying, you're not literally passing out but your body needs a minute or two to recover. You just can't seem to properly react.

You're met with concerned eyes as Jungkook squeezes your cheeks to get a proper look at you. You lick your lips, letting out a tired and amused chuckle. "Thought you killed me? You're not gonna get rid of me so easily." you say completely exhausted, sounding like you could be high or wasted.

He only stares, a beat of silence before his whole face and body relaxes as he lets out a sigh and chuckle of relief. Still, he lets his eyes linger all over your face as he watches you. You crack a smile, wiping your forehead with the back of your head as he brushes your hair off your sweaty forehead.

"You squirted all over me." he teases lightly.

"You came all over my stomach. We're even." you joke, getting a warmed sound laugh from him.

"You cried." he comments, wiping your cheeks. "It was hot."

"You ruined me." you comment back with a tired chuckle.

"You wanted to get ruined."

"Hm, I did." you hum.

He cracks a smile. "I'll bring you water, alright? I'll be right back and wipe the mess off you."

"Mhm." You close your eyes again, feeling like you can breathe again as Jungkook rushes out of the room to get you the water.

He comes back not even a minute after with a glass and a towel, ushering to sit down and drink the whole glass. You do as he watches you every second, barely blinking. Rolling your eyes, he does the same before he starts wiping his cum from your stomach and chest. He moves to between your thighs shortly after, cursing under his breath when he sees how swollen you are. You start wincing as soon as he starts.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he apologizes quickly, wincing as if it hurt him too when the overstimulation is too uncomfortable.

He goes away to toss the towel to the laundry basket and comes back shortly after wearing shorts, finding you sitting on the edge of his bed. It makes him laugh at how innocent you look, despite you're still completely naked.

"I'm going to shower." you announce before he gives you a dubious look.

"Will you manage by yourself?"

"Yeah." you tell him, standing up too abruptly which makes you stumble.

He quickly moves to catch you, biting back a laugh when you're about to take a step and wince. You shoot him a glare, silently telling him it's his fault. The soreness you currently feel between your legs is making it hard to walk. You're so sore already, wondering how the hell you're going to walk and function properly tomorrow.

Jungkook lets you go, leaving you to wash yourself as you embarrassingly limp to the bathroom. When you're in the shower, palms against the warm and wet tiles, you replay everything that has happened. You can't believe you and Jungkook did this. You bite your lips to prevent yourself from squealing, washing away all the sweat and body fluids off your body.

In the midst of it, Jungkook knocks on the door and brings you clothes, leaving after he checks on you.

After Jungkook's turn to wash himself, he joins you in the bed where you're dozing off. "So, what are you sayin'? Did you like it?"

"Honestly?" you ask, nibbling on your bottom lip as Jungkook hums. You chuckle at yourself as you admit; "It's gonna be hard to use condoms again."

Why the hell did you just say that? You mentally scold yourself. Now you sound like you don't want protected sex. Perhaps you're overreacting because Jungkook never sounds like you assume things will be different. You both know it's responsible for you to use them again. It was never spoken but it's clear this was one time thing.

"And how are you feeling?"

"So fucking sore," you complain, whining. "I won't be able to move in tomorrow! This has been your plan all along, right? Admit it." you joke, making him laugh.

"You got me."

You both laugh, tiredly and lazily until your laugh dies down. "Kook?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think, um... how to say it?"

"Just say it."

Argh! This thought crossed your mind while you were showering. You feel content. You're not exactly paranoid and surprisingly, you're not freaking out over having sex without condom. You're happy and you wouldn't change your decision. You regret nothing.

Fumbling with your fingers on top of the freshly changed sheets, you bite the inside of your cheek.

"Do you think maybe I should buy a morning after pill? Just in case..."

Jungkook stays silent but gives his answer seconds after. "If it makes you feel better," he says lightly.

You're on birth control, you haven't missed your pills and you have no knowledge if you can still take a morning after pill. Groaning, you reach for your phone and start doing your research in the middle of the night.

"Okay. It says here there's no need since I'm on the pill." you inform, not even sure if Jungkook is awake before he hums tiredly in return. You roll your eyes at him. "Yah!" you whisper harshly.

"Relax. I didn't even cum inside you."

"Okay but there's always a chance!" you exclaim as Jungkook sighs.

"That would have to be a fucking luck, that's all I'm saying." he mutters into his pillow, turning with his back to you. Men.

He had luck in that department, you think. He was surely having sex with her more often, unprotected for sure and you're also sure he finished inside her most of the time. Argh, why the fuck are you thinking about this and their sex life?

Groaning at yourself, you lock your phone and place it back onto the nightstand. It's better to finally surrender to exhaustion, hoping you'll at least get a good sleep despite the throb and soreness between your legs. Everything's going to be just fine.

"Oh shit! This place is actually nice!"

Looking at Taehyung in a silent offense, you snort at his huge grin as he looks around your new place. Boxes are everywhere and most of your things don't have their own place, but it looks pretty good either way – especially if Taehyung says it with an impressed look while Jimin joins him.

"I know, right? Come on guys, I will show you around."

"Where's Jungkook?" Jimin asks as Taehyung snaps his head in his direction.

"In the bedroom, assembling my bed again." you laugh, feeling actually bad for him to do that again since it's not that long when he did it at his own place.

Taehyung laughs, though it sounds forced which makes you narrow your eyes at him as you silently question him. "Why are you so awkward?"

"Come on, let's go." Jimin says, placing his hand on your back as he leads you further down the apartment.

You glance confusingly at them before shaking your head. What's wrong with them? They meet Jungkook after you give them a quick tour and shortly after, they help you unpack some of your stuff. Taehyung and Jimin stay in the living room while you keep hopping between them and Jungkook who is soon done with your bed. You order three pizzas for all of you, a nice gesture as a 'thank you' that they decided to help you because you couldn't do it without them. They're a huge help.

Although, Jimin is surprisingly quiet and when you went to check on them earlier, you found him and Taehyung bickering. If that's what it was but they quickly went silent once they spotted you.

You're not sure if Jungkook has noticed it but he hasn't said anything so far, quietly munching on the pizza with pouty lips and big eyes. You steal glances at Jimin who barely says anything and Taehyung is surprisingly quiet too, even though he tries to break the silence with awkward small talk or jokes which aren't like him.

"What's with you?" you ask, interrupting Taehyung in the midst of his 'casual joking' as he shuts his mouth and puts it into a straight line before he sighs.

The empty boxes of pizzas are gone, ready to be thrown out once there will be more boxes to take outside. You bought beer for all of you as well, wanting to have a mini-party with them at your new place.

Jimin's eyes don't look too different and his face doesn't say much which makes you question his unusual behavior. You're clearly missing out something and even Jungkook studies Jimin with scrunched brows.

"You're being suspiciously quiet today." you voice out your thoughts, seeing Jimin giving you a look – one that confirms your assumptions.

"You guys are quiet today too." he points out and you make a weird face because he doesn't make any sense.

"We've been literally talking almost every minute." you chuckle, giving him a weird look.

"Yet you never mentioned you guys are hooking up again." he bluntly calls you and Jungkook out, noticing the edge in his voice as you feel your stomach drop. For a second, you're assured you've heard him wrong and you must be hallucinating.

You awkwardly choke on your spit, glancing at Jungkook who's simply staring at Jimin but you see surprise in his eyes too, though his reaction is more subtle and controlled which can't be said about you. Jimin leans against the couch, lifting a brow at the both of you as you look at Taehyung whose face is burning with guilt. And you don't need any more answers because you give Taehyung an unimpressed look.

"It happened! I'm sorry guys!" he quickly exclaims, shooting his arms all over the place. "I got drunk and somehow–"

"Somehow you managed to tell him about this." you deadpan and Jimin sighs next to Taehyung.

"Don't get angry at him," Jimin says calmly, "Why didn't you guys tell me?"

You press your lips together, feeling bad for not telling him sooner but in fact, there weren't many opportunities. You didn't want to tell him such a private matter like "Oh, and by the way me and Jungkook are hooking up" – not that he has to know in the first place. But being friends with them for years now, you learned that you guys tell each other many things.

"We wanted to." Jungkook butts in, saving you from having to explain yourself through guilt. He sounds casual – not making it a big deal and you appreciate that. Jungkook has always been better at these things. You let your emotions get the best of you.

"And to be fair, Taehyung only knows by an accident." he adds, pointing out some important facts as Taehyung snorts.

"Yeah, found them in the kitchen with Jungkook's hands all over Y/N's ass." he snorts again and you shoot him a glare while Jimin scrunches his nose.

"I waited the whole day for you guys to tell me," Jimin says, "It's not like I'm mad at you for not telling me. But do you guys think it's a good idea?"

"Huh?" you blurt out as Jimin scowls.

"You are seriously hooking up?"

"Isn't that what we are talking about?" Jungkook mutters while Jimin shoots him a glare.

"You guys are gonna ruin your friendship." Jimin informs. Your mouth hangs open while Jungkook scoffs at Jimin's sharp words while Taehyung gives Jimin an offended look as if those words were aimed at him.

"Jimin–"

"No, they need to hear this. You've been best friends for years, the thing you did before was fucking stupid but this? You're choosing to just sleep with each other? You're seriously willing to risk your friendship for sex?"

Jimin words are sharp but they hold a truth to them as well. It's everything you're afraid of too but you convinced yourself this is just a period of time where you have fun. You and Jungkook made sure it's pretty chill and casual. And just like with your friendship, not many people fully understand you.

Jimin isn't particularly rude or sounds angry, he's just blunt and serious which is enough of a shock to you. He's always been soft spoken, even if honest, and you know he means well. Despite his words, his eyes remain somehow gentle even if there's a pinch of seriousness.

And you're left with no words leaving your mouth, taken aback, wishing that you could react somehow. But right now, it feels like a slap to your face from Jimin.

"I don't see how it's any of your business, Jimin-ah." Jungkook says, stealing a glance at your distraught face.

"Of course it's not. But you two are being reckless, so I'm just reminding you."

"So they fuck, and what?" Taehyung deadpans, "Let them have their fun."

"Taehyung-ah, excuse me but the only thing you know about relationships is fun. That is if that even can be considered as something related to a relationship."

"Yah, fuck you!" Taehyung exclaims and you would snicker at that under different circumstances for sure. "You suddenly got a girlfriend and you think you're a master of relationships? Just let them be. It's their decision and stop scaring them."

"I'm not scaring them," Jimin shakes his head with a chuckle before he looks up at you, his features softening as his eyes keep jumping between you and Jungkook. "Guys, I just think you need to hear this. And to be honest, I'm shocked to know you've been doing this for god knows how long. I thought you're smarter than that but you're fucking risking and that's the end of it."

"We have it under control." Jungkook informs him.

"Yeah, don't let those words bite you in the ass later." Jimin reminds him with a whistle which makes Jungkook frown and you stare at the two of them.

"Can we stop?" you speak up, slapping your knees in the process as you gain their attention.

"Y/N," Jimin says softly, inching closer to you as you stare at him with big and sad eyes. "You guys are totally entitled to do whatever you want. I just don't want you guys to ruin your friendship with this. I've thought your friendship is precious and special, not this special."

Your cheeks heat up. "And it is special." you whisper.

It's clear that Jimin doesn't approve any of this and you're aware that he is right. There are many risks you took – both of you – but in the end, you want to do this and you don't want to overthink it.

"You and Jungkook know the best, so I'm not gonna butt into this any more than I already have. I just want you guys to be reasonable and smart."

"Well, thank you for your input but we got it." Jungkook clasps his hands together and you crack a grin as the atmosphere loosens up a little.

"Yeah, they got it. Let them fuck." Taehyung shrugs and all of you burst into laughter.

"Can we not talk about this? Or make a big deal out of it? Me and Jungkook are fine, still best friends, right?" you say, looking at Jungkook who leans back and nods in your direction.

"Yeah, besties for life." He sends everyone a 'peace' sign as Jimin laughs while shaking his head.

"Right," Jimin nods, "Just don't hurt each other, okay?"

"I would never." Jungkook says immediately and you can only agree.

Jimin opens his mouth as if he's about to say something but then he closes it, changing his mind at the last minute. "Alright, you guys know what you're doing." he ends the topic with a simple sentence and all of you leave it at that.

"Okay, those two fuck each other, shocking. But we still haven't met your girlfriend. What is even her name? Does she exist?" Taehyung cocks his brow at Jimin who suddenly turns a little shy, grinning as he licks his bottom lip.

"She exists," he laughs, "Her name is Rin." he answers casually.

"Wait? Where is she from?"

"Japan."

"Oh my fucking god!" Taehyung rolls his eyes. "Let's pray she is nothing like Kiko then."

Your hand is over your mouth immediately while Jungkook frowns at him and Jimin looks offended.

"How did you meet her anyway?" But Taehyung remains unbothered as always, waving his hand as Jimin clears his throat.

"In a club?" Jimin asks as if it's not obvious. "We weren't spending our free time on other places too much." He reminds him as Taehyung utters 'True'.

"Wait," Taehyung suddenly stops. "Is she the girl you fucked a few months ago? The cute Japanese?"

Jimin's face reddens and all of you get an answer as Jungkook smirks, trying to hide it by tracing his fingers over his lips.

"Taehyung-ah."

"Look at you, getting all shy. I think I'm gonna be sick."

All of you burst into laughter, well excluding Jimin who pokes his elbow into Taehyung's side.

"Well, I think it's cute." you butt in, trying to save Jimin in this situation but all you get is a snicker from Taehyung in return.

"What's cute about it? He fucked the girl once and now he's dating her."

"Hey! You find love in all places."

"Yeah, yeah," he waves you off. "I heard Japanese females are loud and whiny in bed. Is that true?" he asks straight-forwardly and shamelessly stares at Jimin and Jungkook.

"Haven't you fucked a Japanese woman?" Jungkook asks instead, arching his brow as Taehyung rubs his chin in a deep thought.

"Yeah, I might've. The one or two I fucked were, so that's why I'm asking. Are all of them like that?"

The man has no shame.

"Taehyung." you mutter his name, scrunching your nose at the topic as he defensively looks at you.

"What? Are you whiny and loud too?"

You gasp, slapping his shoulder before Jungkook speaks up; "She can be."

It's the fact he says it with the utmost confidence and pride, your entire face feeling like it's on fire as you scold him loudly.

"Ew, I really don't want to hear about my two friends fucking. Thanks." Jimin mutters in disgust as Taehyung grins.

"You all are getting too soft." Taehyung comments, still with a grin as you roll your eyes.

"And you're getting too annoying, nosy–"

"Alright I get it, I get it." Taehyung shuts you up with his palm over your mouth. You lick his skin, expecting him to pull away but it's like he awaited you to do it because he doesn't pull away.

He grins instead and says; "Mhmm, more." He fakes a moan before he starts laughing like a maniac when you start slapping his arm, his hand eventually letting go off your mouth.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Taehyung suddenly jumps to his feet, giving you a curled smirk before he walks to his bag. "I brought you, uh, think of this as a housewarming gift."

"I didn't know we were bringing anything." Jimin mutters, pouting a little as he sheepishly scratches the back of his head while Jungkook frowns as well.

"You guys don't have to–what the fuck?!" you exclaim, your mouth hanging open as Taehyung turns around with a pair of pink and fluffy handcuffs, twirling them on his index finger.

It's an understatement that all of you stare at him as he comes up to you with a smirk and tosses the handcuffs into your lap as you stare at the object as if you have never seen it before. You never held one in your hands, that's for sure.

"Don't worry, they're new. Not used." Taehyung assures you, plopping on his previous spot as you glance at Jungkook who stares with big eyes at the handcuffs, just as surprised as all of you, before he relaxes and leans back into the chair.

"Wow, thank you for your thoughtfulness." you mutter dryly as Taehyung snorts.

You tuck your index over the opening, letting the handcuffs hang in the air as you inspect it. Tilting your brow at Taehyung, you give him a questioning look as he grins and shrugs.

"Just wanted to give you something fun."

"Yeah, and what's more fun than a pair of handcuffs?" you beam sarcastically as Taehyung grins even more.

"Right? A proper Taehyung gift!"

"I've got no words." Jimin mutters while you place the handcuffs next to you as Jungkook suddenly reaches for them.

Staring with an open mouth, you watch him twirl it in his hands as he shoots you a grin. "Thanks Taehyung, they'll come handy."

You ignore how much your body buzzes with a newfound excitement, rather focusing on the noise Jimin makes. A noise of disgust and annoyance as his whole face scrunches in one.

Deciding it's better to redirect the attention to somewhere else, you stand up and usher them to help you with the remaining boxes as they grunt but obey. That's why they're here after all. To help you.

Jimin and Taehyung start bickering, Jimin scolding him for even thinking of buying you such a thing and considering you know what he thinks of your arrangement with Jungkook, he surely voiced his opinion about it to Taehyung too.

Jungkook is the only one who's still sitting on his previous spot, now that the guys went to your bedroom it leaves you two alone. You catch the handcuffs from Jungkook's hands, trying not to melt at how lustful he looks with his legs spread and lap looking inviting.

"I will take this." you tell him, sounding tempted and teasing as Jungkook watches you with the biggest smirk on his lips.

"Be my guest."

You hear behind you as Jungkook follows you in your tracks and you give yourself a few deep breaths before you have to face your friends, and most importantly Jungkook, again.

Your friends leave late at night, apart from Jungkook who kindly decides to help you organize your small kitchen. Of course, Taehyung couldn't help but tease you on his way out, not forgetting to yell "Have fun" as Jimin cringed and tugged him out of your place. He didn't forget to imply Jungkook is staying at your place tonight either.

Despite your friend's teasing, he's still planning to go back home.

"You know, don't listen to Taehyung. You can still stay the night, it's late anyway." you speak not even a minute after they're gone, putting the cutlery to its designed storage box in your top cupboard.

It's not that big of a problem for him to get home. His car is parked in front of your building and the drive to his home is not even that long. On another note, you've been organizing and moving furniture all day until you decide to have a little hang-outs in between, which mostly consisted of you pouring the guys drinks and eating some snacks. It's a simple idea, one you're not against and from the looks of it, Jungkook is not either.

He still decided to stay a bit longer, helping you with your kitchen so you can start using it tomorrow morning with no problem. "I thought you wanted to get rid of me."

The teasing tone of his voice makes you crack a tired chuckle, giving him a short glance before you get back to your task.

"It's impossible to get rid of you, Jeon Jungkook." you joke, "I kinda like having you in my life though."

"Is that so?" he hums, cocking his brow teasingly.

"Mhm." you laugh, shutting the cupboard as you move onto the next one below where the rest of the kitchen tools will be.

He finishes placing plates in one of the cupboards, moving onto mugs and glasses where you assigned their place.

"Listen," he starts, clearing his throat. "About what Jimin said... are you okay?"

Besides moving into your new place being the top event of today, Jimin finding out and then giving you a lecture was big enough of an event itself. It's not something that is easily forgotten and even after that conversation was over, it still lingered at the back of your mind as you mildly felt embarrassed. You've never had that. You never felt embarrassed to do your own thing with Jungkook, no matter what anyone else would say.

Taehyung is the most supportive friend when it comes to this. Perhaps it has something to do with his own choice of lifestyle, but it doesn't matter. He still gets it. Sure, Jimin never intended to make you feel embarrassed and he's pretty much clueless about your inner feelings his words brought in you. His words still made more damage than you want to admit.

Glancing at Jungkook, you find his concerned eyes on you, the same ones you were staring at yesterday when you had a memorable moment together.

"It's just... he was a little harsh with his words and I wanted to check on you."

You know what he means. It's exactly what you were thinking about just a moment ago. Jimin is a reasonable friend. Incredibly caring too. Whereas Taehyung is up for any fun and loves freedom, supports freedom. Both of them are right in their own ways, you don't deny that.

"That was expected of him," you give him a forced chuckle, one that Jungkook easily detects and makes his brows furrow. But it's not something to worry about and you make sure to let him know. "I get what his point was."

"Yeah, I think we all gathered that." Jungkook mutters, making you snort.

"But what about you? Are you okay?"

"I can handle Jimin anytime." he answers, grinning while he makes you laugh.

Jungkook handles most things better than you. He's far more collected and doesn't let too much stuff get to him. Even though Jimin rooted some sort of doubts inside your head, you and Jungkook know the best how things truly are between you.

"Are you staying the night?" you ask, changing the topic after coming to the conclusion that you have no interest in overthinking this any longer.

Jungkook brings you peace and the trust between you is stronger than anything else.

"Do you want me to?" he teases.

Groaning, you throw your head back. "You really want me to say it, huh?"

"Hm, maybe."

Rolling your eyes at him, you purse your lips. "You're free to stay here. It's late anyway."

Jungkook lips twitch in amusement, though he doesn't comment on you purposely not saying it. "Fine. But I gotta wake up early."

"Early for what?"

"Gym."

"Oh my god. For real?" He really wants to wake up early for a gym?

He doesn't look offended by your lack of excitement for his healthy and active life-style at all. Rather than that, he finds it funny.

"Yeah. And then I've got one afternoon photoshoot to do."

"Okay, then we should go to bed. I can finish this tomorrow." you tell him, shutting the cupboards. He doesn't protest, both of you simultaneously letting out a yawn which makes you both laugh again.

It's been a long day and after taking a shower with Jungkook joining you in your bed shortly after, you fall asleep in a matter of seconds. You don't tell him but you're truly thankful for not only his help but his presence too. Whatever the reason behind him staying is, you're glad you're not your first night here alone and you have him by your side. Even when he's not there when you wake up, leaving you a note beside your bed.

"Gonna miss you roomie. Enjoy your new place and see you soon. – Kook"

The next time you see your friends is a few days after you've moved into your new place. The constant back and forth between trying to plan the camping trip in the group chat has caused you enough headaches throughout the week. It's not only up to you, Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung, but also their other friends that are coming too. No one expected for this to be easy but finding the right date, so everyone could go, has been the toughest task of the week.

Luckily, in the end everyone agreed on a date which happens to be the next weekend. You've had enough time to make your place fully liveable, decorated it to your wishes while your bank account is close to being empty. That's if you don't count the small savings you managed to not touch for your friend's vacation that is yet to be discussed. You're already scared.

The four of you are about to discuss further details that don't involve the rest of the group as much. It would be logical of you to go all together in one car – and that's how you thought it would be.

"Namjoon and Hoseok are bringing tents. And there's gonna be two rented caravans for some to sleep in. So I agree with Y/N, we should all go in one car. It saves money." Jimin says after your logical suggestion, which you didn't even think is up to debate because it just makes sense.

"Makes sense. Honestly, I don't care as long as I don't have to drive." Taehyung says, already munching on the chips which Jungkook has tossed him a second ago, because the guy was too lazy to get it for himself at his own place.

You've decided to meet up at Taehyung's place since it was the closest. All of you have to go to work tomorrow, so there's no time to hang out like you usually do. You only met up to figure out the entire trip, so you don't panic right before you have to leave. Plus, Taehyung is terrible at replying to messages and so is Jimin sometimes.

"About that," Jungkook starts, scratching the back of his head as he earns everyone's attention. "I sort of invited Ester too."

He did what? 

The silence that follows seems like it lasts cruelly long, but it's only you because even though the guys seem surprised by the news, they show no problem with that. Though that can't be said about you because you're staring dumbfoundedly at Jungkook, wondering if you heard him right.

"Great!"

"Why did you do that?"

You and Jimin say at the same time, Taehyung slowly putting more chips into his mouth as he stares at the three of you. Jungkook frowns confusingly, shrugging his shoulders as if not understanding why are you questioning him which makes your annoyance bubble even more.

"It sort of came out."

Sort of... You can't with this guy. The little scoff you let out is enough to give him away your thoughts.

"Isn't that so random though? It's a friend's trip. No one knows her besides you."

Not that you have anything against Ester. She's a nice girl and she never gave you a reason not to like her, but Jungkook's random invitation to a trip full of friends is just totally out of the blue and doesn't make sense. Even guys seemed surprised by it, but they decided not to comment on it.

"Then they'll get to know her."

It's Jungkook's bluntness and the look he's giving you that pisses you off and you have to hold yourself from springing off the couch.

"I don't see any problem–"

You don't let Jimin finish, completely ignoring him. "You've known her for five minutes."

That makes Jungkook's brow lift up. "And?"

"Why would you invite someone on this trip?" you exclaim, trying to grasp the meaning of this.

The last camping trip was your first one with all of them. And you've been friends with him, Jimin and Taehyung for years. Obviously, you were familiar with Hoseok and Jin but still, you knew each other before you were invited. The exact thing happened on New Year's Eve.

It might not be a big deal of him inviting her, but it doesn't make sense considering it's last minute and you're leaving in a few days. The amount of tents and caravans are already taken care of.

"I invited you."

That makes you gasp, "I'm your best friend!"

"Guys–" Jimin tries again but Jungkook shrugs again.

"She's my friend too."

Okay, that makes your blood boil. Is he really comparing you and Ester? You've no idea how this even escalated to this but you can't seem to calm down, even as Jimin tries to butt in while Taehyung tries to hide an amused grin.

"Where is she going to sleep anyway?" Taehyung speaks up, earning a "Thank you Taehyung" glance but of course the idiot has to ruin it. "I mean, she could share the tent with me." he adds cheekily which makes Jungkook scoff while you scrunch your nose in disgust.

"I will sort that out. I can always ask Namjoon if he has another tent, I'm sure he mentioned he has more than two or he can ask someone. You girls can share the tent."

You haven't really spoken about who shares a tent with who, but you kind of expected it to be like last time. Maya is also coming so she's going to share the tent with Namjoon, obviously. Then there's Jin who is going without Jia since she's pregnant and doesn't want to join this time, so he would share either the tent or caravan with Hoseok. Jimin and Taehyung shared the tent together and so did you and Jungkook.

Not to get things mixed up, you don't really care who you're sharing the sleeping space with. But the fact he's expecting you to share it with Ester because he decided to invite her all of a sudden just calls for a conflict. It's the audacity he's showing that makes you open your mouth in pure disbelief as you stare at Jungkook with a proper what the fuck written on yur face.

Also, not even Jimin decided to invite his girlfriend. His freaking girlfriend that would make a bigger sense to come since she's actually close to someone out of all people.

He sighs, "It came up. She wanted to make plans with me on that very weekend, we talked about it and it just came up."

"So you felt bad for her, so you invited her?" you question, arching your brow as Jungkook frowns.

"No," he says with the same frown, emphasizing the word. "Jimin wanted me to invite her somewhere a long time ago. Guys seem to be okay with it and the only person who seems to have a problem with it is you."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh shit." Taehyung mutters, straightening himself.

This whole situation is giving you a major whiplash. You and Jungkook barely argue, that can be seen even on Jimin's and Taehyung's faces as they look genuinely shocked by the exchange between you and Jungkook. You were fine.

You were texting and even Face-Timing a few times since you haven't had the chance to see him in person since you moved in. You were literally joking just minutes ago. And you know you are the one who has voiced your confusion, but you're not going to keep your mouth shut when you're genuinely baffled over this news.

"I don't see any problem here, seriously."

It's the tone he uses that makes you too stunned to speak. He's looking at you as if you were the enemy here and that kind of stings. He's here talking to you like this, looking at you like this for a girl he barely knows and that's when you know what triggers your anger and annoyance even more. You can barely remember times where Jungkook would be strict with you. The past few months have been the greatest months in your friendship, and you're not talking about the sex. You joked, teased each other, laughed... but now it's like you don't recognize you and him.

It's not that serious, just a change of opinions. But at this moment, you can't just keep your mouth shut and move on.

You're jealous. Jealous that he's here ready to argue with you over a girl who's apparently his friend. He makes you feel like you're the idiot here and you don't know, maybe you are but you don't like how he's acting.

"It's last minute, Kook..." Jimin starts, giving you a side-glance. He's looking at you as if you're about to jump and attack Jungkook. "But I'm sure it can be arranged. Girls can share the tent, sorry Tae but I'm not sure Ester would be happy to share it with you. We don't want to traumatize her."

He tries to joke, laughing awkwardly while still giving you the side-glance while your frown turns only deeper. Even Taehyung laughs and tries to fake disappointment from Jimin's words.

"I'm not sharing a tent with her." you stubbornly scoff, Jungkook glaring the hell out of you and you're ten seconds from showing him your middle finger.

"You're being difficult. I don't know what's your problem with her, but she's a nice girl. You met her."

"Share the tent with her then. Since she's your friend." You know you're being childish, you even sound like it and you ignore everyone's eyes on you which makes you uncomfortable.

"I don't know if that's appropriate. Her sharing it with a girl is more appropriate."

You know he's got a point. But still, stubborn as you are, you fold your arms over your chest and give him a sweet smile. "Should've thought about it before you invited her."

"Okaaaay, guys. There's no need to–"

"You're so selfish right now." Jungkook comments and you gasp.

"Kook, seriously." Taehyung mutters but you see red.

"I'm selfish? You invite your friend and I'm selfish because I don't want to share the tent with her? Since when is she my problem? You invited her, you deal with it, Jeon." You're raising your voice, though Jungkook doesn't look phased one bit as he scoffs and looks away, clenching his jaw.

"Fine. I will buy her a fucking tent if that's what it takes." Don't forget to fuck her in it. Wait, where did that come from?

"I thought it's a friend's trip too. I mean, I don't really mind if someone invites a plus one. I get both sides." Taehyung tries to reason.

Jungkook lets out a sigh. "I wasn't planning on inviting her but it happened. I don't see any big deal in this."

Oh my god, you're done.

"Okay, then I'm inviting Yoongi." you say with an attitude, Jungkook's head snapping to yours including Taehyung and Jimin.

You do regret saying it as soon as it leaves your mouth. Why Yoongi out of all people? What did you think? But you don't back away. There's no way you will embarrass yourself even more than you already have.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're being childish." Jungkook scoffs. Yes, you're petty and what?

"What? I thought we are allowed to invite friends."

"He is not even your friend."

"How would you know?" you bite back.

"Oh come on!"

"Alright, calm down you two." Jimin frowns, looking genuinely concerned despite his frown.

"No, I'm starting to like this." Taehyung says with a smirk, looking excited to witness this as you frown at him.

You stand up, straightening your pants as you give a look to all your friends. "Yoongi is coming too."

"You don't even like him. Seriously, this is ridiculous." Jungkook can't help but speak up again.

You don't argue with him on that. Sure, Yoongi gets on your nerves most of the time but you don't not like him.

"Just invite who you want and be done with this." Jimin sighs, rubbing his forehead.

"No, she just did that on purpose!" Jungkook exclaims, causing you to scoff.

"Mind your business, Jeon and better go figure out where your friend is sleeping." you remark.

Deep down you do feel bad because of Ester. She has done nothing wrong to you or to anyone you know. You don't want her to think you don't like her and you do hope whatever happened here won't reach her. God, you really hope Jungkook won't snitch on you. He wouldn't, right? 

"Wait, where are you going? How are we gonna sort out the cars then?" Taehyung calls out to you when you're on your way out.

You linger between the entrance of the living room and entrance hall, shrugging.

"We're gonna have to go with two cars anyway. So much for saving." he adds, grumbling.

"I don't know, I'll just go with Yoongi. Let me know how you arranged it. I'm going, I'm tired."

Taehyung's place starts to feel suffocating and you rush to put your shoes on, bidding them a sore goodbye as you get into your car.

You're a fucking idiot. You smack your head against the headrest, closing your eyes as you rub your forehead furiously instead, not wanting to smudge your make-up.

Great. You cannot show without Yoongi. You argued with Jungkook and let the most stupid idea come out of your mouth because of... because of what exactly? Annoyance? Anger? Jealousy?

All of the above most likely.

But the aftermath of your argument in front of Jimin and Taehyung is not the only thing that causes you another headache.

The thing is...

How the fuck will you convince him to go?

[maxphilippa]

Nickel's sense of guilt and fear of change. [Character/II S3 Episode 14 Analysis, part 1/?]

Today, the longest episode of Invitational has dropped, and I have many thoughts of it as well. Might do more posts analyzing the events that ocurred as of now in canon, but I would like to talk about the heaviest part in the lore and how most people are not getting it completely (in my opinion), and that being: Nickel's current point of view of Balloon and his relationship with Suitcase and BB.

We all know that Nickel's actions hurted the Grand alliance, but what happened in the episode is that they showed how apparently, Nickel doesn't get exactly that things were completely fucked up.

In the episode, he mainly focuses on the good memories he had with BB and Suitcase, and doesn't even seem to hate Suitcase either, unlike what most people thought (me included to an extent, though I did see him being hurt mostly with their relationship and what happened in s2), but.

Nickel doesn't realize that he actually fucked up with them a lot, and that's the main issue.

Like, sure. He knows that stuff were messy at points but that's all he says. He mainly focuses on the good moments he had with them, maybe that's a product of him growing once he got eliminated and came to terms with himself that "well yeah there was a bit complicated shit but we still had fun together", but deep down he feels a sort of... guilt? Regarding Suitcase.

But even then, Balloon scolds him for trying to erase the times where Nickel made all of them feel bad. Hell! Even then Balloon recognizes that Nickel hurted Baseball deeply! And he says how Suitcase was the only one who had enough courage to stand up for her! Because hey! Nickel did use the same treatment that he used with Suitcase on Baseball! But the difference is that BaseBall kept making excuses for him!

The person who Nickel has been, alongside Baseball, "ignoring" of some sorts, has been Suitcase.

But here's the thing as well: Nickel doesn't know how to make things better again.

Nickel doesn't understand... feelings and complex emotions to put it shortly. He's afraid of change, and the way he just ignores the bad stuff that happened and tries to say that it's the only way that things can work, is... somewhat sad. Nickel doesn't understand a lot of stuff. He probably thinks that, at the end of the day, those were just little conflicts and that there was more good than bad.

But... that would mean he would also be running away from his consciousness over what Suitcase told him.

About how none of what they had was real.

He doesn't realize the damage he has done because hey. As much as you all like to think that Nickel didn't have his reasons to be a dick towards Balloon, he did. He actually did. He even mentions it in this episode, that if Balloon didn't try to manipulate everyone just as S1 started, maybe things would be different.

Nickel SAW and KNOWS Balloon's by his awful actions, and he wanted to protect BaseBall and Suitcase from him, since he thinks that Balloon CAN'T be trust-worthy after everything he did in S1.

That's why he was so aggressive as well towards Balloon. Yes, he cared for BaseBall, but he also cared for Suitcase deeply. The thing is that Suitcase was Balloon's friend, and Nickel can't bring himself to think that someone who he saw being such an awful person, could possibly be targetting someone who he cares about as well. So that's why he tried to push Balloon away for so long. He tried to keep his relationship with Suitcase and BB, he even says it in S2 when Suitcase confesses that she voted for him.

But of course, this is even more complicated. Both Nickel and Balloon fucked up, but Nickel fucked up for a longer time. Balloon was actually changing, and Nickel did only take the protective stance when this was happening. Which like, Nickel was right on that. He had his reasons to NOT trust Balloon. The problem is that he couldn't accept that Balloon was changing, and that he wasn't realizing that his actions were hurting both BB and Suitcase.

What I think that people don't get, or what hurts me the most, is the fact that Nickel is in denial. But it's merely the fact that when he hears Suitcase's voice, he doesn't get angry or mad, or even panics, no.

He's just... shocked.

What are you supposed to tell someone who went through hell, thanks to you, even if you tried to protect her from whom you thought was bad? What are you supposed to tell the friend who you tried to protect and instead hurted them in awful ways?

What are you even supposed to do in that situation?

It's not only that, but the fact that he didn't even think twice when walking towards her, didn't even question if she was truly Suitcase. Like, he immediately went on and tried to explain himself to her-

He completely forgot about everything because he wanted to talk to her and, I do think that he feels guilty for what he did, but he can't put it to words/can't understand it completely after all- but his first instict after seeing Suitcase is to talk to her about it.

He wants to explain himself to her- maybe even apologize, but he doesn't know how.

The thing is that Nickel is smart. With logical stuff, not feelings, according to Adam himself. And that fucks it all up for him.

Nickel can't handle change.

Suitcase can understand change.

Balloon is always changing.

And BaseBall can't keep up with it.

And that shows it here.

Nickel is a complicated character. Guilt is eating him constantly but he lacks emotional intelligence. He can accept that stuff went wrong, but seem doesn't understand what or why they did go wrong.

He regrets what he did to Suitcase most likely judging from his behaviour the mere second he saw her, but he can't tell why exactly. Same thing as Nickel probably realizing that he keeps on messing up the more he clings into that mentality. He tries to move on from the past, but he can't. He even says it. There's no way to make things feel better as of now, so that's why he pretends.

But there is a way.

He just... needs to talk it out with Suitcase and Balloon.

That being said, thank you for reading this.

[swampgallows]

.

complaining here because i dont want to burden my friends but still want to collect validation in the form of little pixel hearts

my moms mental state has gotten so much worse and as a result her hoarding is becoming even worse and even more impossible to tolerate. i have tried to have more sympathy about it and to help her with it, sitting with her while she sorts "a box a day" or even just "one thing a day". ive gently recommended she get a new therapist but all she did was change her horse on the SSRI carousel and start smoking weed. i've linked her articles and books and videos, and when she doesnt look at any of them i try to relay to her in conversation what i learned from them when she bemoans "why am i like this?". none of it matters. she just complains that it's "too overwhelming" and she "can't help it" even though she refuses any help at all.

i know it is a mental disorder. i know it is overwhelming. i know it causes her physical pain to get rid of things and at the same time cripples her with guilt to keep it all. but as of right now all we're trying to get her to do is just rearrange the things so that they aren't turning our house into a fucking obstacle course, and she pushes back on that too. like she doesn't want to even organize the piles AS THEY ARE and condense them because she'd rather be "actually throwing things away and putting things away like a human being!"—the thing that she very specifically CANNOT do.

and if we consolidate it on our own? hooooly christ. she goes on a fucking rampage, slamming doors, screaming/sobbing, throwing shit (her shit. it's all her shit). because it's HER stuff and WE touched it and she feels guilty about all her stuff. she STILL talks about when my sister tidied the spice cabinet, convinced that "she threw everything away!" and that was years ago. (my sister is a different kind of insane and probably DID throw a bunch of shit away, but either way all it did was give my mom ammunition for the rest of her life to never do anything.)

this is long enough already so all i can say is that im disappointed in myself for losing more of my tolerance and sympathy. like at this point the only reason i care is because i have to fucking live here since i havent been able to stay employed or move out yet and my mental health is also incredibly bad. but also my mom's becoming much more intolerant and hateful as a human being, which makes me less inclined to keep trying. like she deliberately brings up incendiary topics (usually politics), whips herself up into a cyclone of hatred (every '-ism' you can think of) while preemptively apologizing for things that she thinks that we think about the politics that she "doesn't like talking about" despite blatantly shifting the conversation to bring them up, then devolves into histrionic crying or yelling at us for something she has imagined. this is almost every day. i know she's my mom so im trying but christ alive