#there is /nothing/ in the films to suggest this

[fangdokja]

They’re not heroes. They’re your tormentors, and you’ll love every second of it.

❤︎ Synopsis. Four men, each consumed by a darkness that binds them to you, will stop at nothing to claim your soul. In their world, love is a twisted cage, and you’re the captive—lost in a nightmare where escape is impossible and desire is the cruelest torment.

♡ Book. Forbidden Fruits: Intimate Obsessions, Unhinged Desires.

♡ Pairing. Yandere! Mr. Reca x Fem. Reader, Yandere! Mydei x Fem. Reader, Yandere! Anaxa x Fem. Reader, Yandere! Phainon x Fem. Reader

♡ Headcanons. The Game of Surrender - Part 2

♡ Word Count. 4,707

♡ TW. dom + top + older + slightly sadistic yandere, general non-con + manipulation, suggestive themes, psychological + mental conditioning, fear play, emotional manipulation and abuse, hints at rough play and sex, psychological + emotional trauma, isolation, monitoring, lack of boundaries, non-con kissing and/or touching, forced relationship, BDSM, manipulation of circumstances, threats, Stockholm Syndrome

♡ Note. This was made before the official releases of characters, so be warned that some information may be inaccurate once additional lore comes out.

♡ A/N. Not me not knowing fully who these characters are. So... not sure if I did this right hahaha. It's too early to judge the unreleased characters but oh well. And, I did put this into my usual style... idk adjskaskd Take this like a brief hypothesis, I suppose. I am thinking on getting back to Genshin and HSR... maybe. Probably not though. Idk. Anyways, I personally thought I cooked with this. Just not sure with personalities askadsdakldsm

♡ Mr. Reca.

"Every thought you have, every breath you take, is a scene in my film—my masterpiece. And don't worry, darling, I'll make sure you never forget your lines. Not even when you're screaming them in your sleep."

The universe had always been a canvas to him—a vast, writhing tapestry of chaos and order, the kind of unpredictable beauty that Mr. Reca found utterly magnetic. He had always been a collector of moments, a Memokeeper who consumed emotions, gestures, and unguarded thoughts with the same fervor a drowning man gulps air.

But you—oh, you—you were not just another fleeting spark in the vast night of existence.

You were an anomaly, a glitch in the dreamscape, a hauntingly real smear of imperfection across his perfectly constructed illusions. And so, he watched you, studied you, devoured the fragile lines of your every expression. It wasn’t obsession, not at first. It was curiosity, a scientist’s hunger for understanding. But curiosity, as it often does, rotted into something far darker.

It began subtly. At first, you didn’t even realize you were his subject. The assistant frog—so innocuous, its mechanical chirps like a child’s toy—hovered too long in your presence. That thing recorded the barest twitch of your lips, the dilation of your pupils when you dreamt, the cadence of your breath when you were lost in thought.

He played those recordings back again and again, crafting you into the centerpiece of his mind’s latest film, a work of art that no audience but him would ever see. Each flicker of your gaze, each half-whispered syllable, was dissected with a surgeon’s precision and woven into the dream bubble of his fantasies.

You had not agreed to this, of course. You would not have, had you known. But consent had never mattered much to Mr. Reca, not when reality itself could be edited, overwritten, and reshaped to suit his narrative.

He didn’t fall in love with you in the way mortals understood love.

No, it was something far more grotesque. You were not his equal. You were not even human, not to him.

You were a role to be perfected, an actress bound to his script. And he—he was the director, the puppeteer pulling the strings of your existence with a touch so light, so surgical, that you didn’t notice your autonomy dissolving until it was too late.

He didn’t approach you like an ordinary man. Ordinary men didn’t cloak their words in riddles, their intentions in shadows.

“Your dreams are fascinating,” he said once, his tone light but his eyes dark, predatory. “I could make a masterpiece from them. Would you let me?”

His gaze burned into you, not with affection, but with hunger—the kind of hunger that consumes, destroys, leaves nothing but ash in its wake.

When you hesitated, when you stammered out a polite refusal, his smile curved sharp and cruel. “Ah, but do you really have a choice?”

You didn’t, of course.

The dream bubbles began soon after. Vivid, horrifyingly real landscapes where you were no longer yourself but a marionette dancing to his whims.

The first time you woke screaming, trembling from the phantom pain of dream wounds, he was there. He shouldn’t have been—your door had been locked—but there he was, sitting on the edge of your bed with his head tilted and that damned frog-camera clutched in his gloved hands.

“Fascinating,” he murmured, as if you were a specimen under glass. “You feel it, don’t you? The fear, the thrill, the pain. Tell me, how does it taste?”

In bed, he is not a lover. He is a creator, and you are his medium.

His touch is clinical at first, cold and calculated, his gloved fingers trailing down your spine as if mapping the curve of your body for a sculpture he plans to carve later.

But there is heat beneath that coldness, a violent, consuming fire that erupts when he lets himself indulge. He does not make love. He takes. He presses you into the mattress as if trying to merge you with it, his weight oppressive, suffocating. His hands grip your wrists too tightly, leaving bruises like the ink stains of his artistry. His breath is hot against your ear, his voice a low murmur that mixes poetry with threats, promises with lies.

“Do you feel it?” he whispers, his tone too calm for the frenzy of his movements. “The way your body betrays you? The way it obeys me, even when your mind doesn’t want to?”

His teeth graze the shell of your ear, and the sharp pain that follows is not accidental. “I could keep you here forever,” he says, his voice thick with sadistic delight. “Inside the dream, inside me. Would you even know the difference? Would you even care?”

You would care, of course.

You fight him, or at least you try. But he’s relentless, unyielding, a force of nature that smothers your resistance with sheer willpower. He doesn’t let you hide from him, not even in the sanctuary of your own mind.

His powers as a Memokeeper ensure that every thought, every secret, every fleeting desire you’ve ever tried to bury is laid bare before him. He uses them against you, weaving them into the narrative of his control.

“You want this,” he says, his voice a velvet knife. “You want me. Your body knows it, even if your mind refuses to admit it.”

His lips trail down your throat, his teeth leaving marks that will linger for days, physical proof of his dominance. “And when I’m done with you, when there’s nothing left of you but what I’ve created, you’ll thank me. You’ll beg me to keep you.”

The horror of it all is that he doesn’t just break you physically. He breaks your mind, piece by fragile piece, until you can no longer tell where the dream ends and reality begins. His dream bubbles seep into your waking hours, twisting your perception until even the memories of your resistance feel like fabrications.

He tells you that you’re his muse, his masterpiece, his greatest work. And despite the revulsion, the terror, some part of you begins to believe him.

Because how could someone so brilliant, so meticulous, be wrong?

And yet, in the darkest corners of your mind, you know the truth.

You are not his muse.

You are his victim, a living doll trapped in the nightmare of his creation.

But no one will ever hear your screams.

He’s made sure of that.

After all, reality itself is just another film to him, and he’s already written your final scene.

♡ Mydei.

"You belong to me, just as I am bound to this blood-soaked fate. No one will ever take you from me, not in this life, not in the next. I’ll carve my name into your soul, and you’ll learn to love it, even if it takes a thousand deaths."

It begins as a hum in the back of his throat, a low vibration that settles into his chest like the resonance of a beast stirring in its lair. He watches you, not from afar, but from the corner of your vision, where his shadow seems to stretch and curve unnaturally—always larger, always darker than the dim light allows. His gaze is not mere sight; it’s weight, pressure, suffocation. He sees the tremor in your fingers as you pour water into a glass. He catalogues the way your breaths hitch when his footsteps echo closer, closer still.

And when he speaks, his voice is a razor dragged slowly, deliberately, across raw nerves. “You’re trembling,” he says, though there’s no concern in his tone.

It’s an observation, clinical yet laced with something sharper, something akin to hunger.

He doesn’t touch you yet, but the proximity is suffocating—his presence a noose tightening with every passing second. His breath brushes your ear as he leans closer. “Are you afraid of me?”

You flinch but say nothing, and he chuckles. It’s low and guttural, almost amused, but there’s an edge of cruelty there, a promise that he’ll savor every inch of your fear.

He feeds on it, you realize, and the thought sends a chill racing down your spine. “You should be,” he murmurs, the words dripping like venom. “Fear keeps you alive… but not from me. Never from me.”

He lies, of course.

The predator in him is far too obvious, a wolf cloaked in something barely resembling humanity. He doesn’t see you as prey to consume in haste.

No, he sees you as a possession—a rare, precious thing to break slowly, to shatter and rebuild in his image. He thrives on control, on the knowledge that every shiver, every gasp, every cry is something he owns, something he’s dragged out of you inch by agonizing inch.

When he finally touches you, it’s with the precision of a surgeon dissecting his subject. Fingers glide over your skin like scalpels, drawing phantom lines where his teeth will follow, where his hands will linger. There’s no tenderness in the way he grips your wrist, the bruising force of his palm a warning, a declaration.

He doesn’t need to speak for you to understand: you’re his.

The room is suffused with a kind of tension that seems alive, thrumming in the air like an electrical charge waiting to snap. His lips curl into something that might resemble a smile if not for the sheer malice in it.

“You can fight,” he says, voice as smooth and cold as glass, “but we both know how this ends.”

And then he moves, swift as a predator pouncing, pinning you against the unyielding surface of the wall.

The impact drives the air from your lungs, and before you can catch your breath, he’s there—everywhere. The heat of his body seeps into yours, the solidity of him a cage that leaves no room for escape. His hands are firm, unrelenting, roaming with a kind of obsessive thoroughness that feels both maddening and humiliating. He maps every inch of your body as if it’s a territory to be conquered, claimed.

The words he whispers into your ear are sharp, biting things, designed to slice through your defenses. “Do you know how easy it would be?” he breathes, his voice a silken thread woven with danger.

“To tear you apart. To ruin you so thoroughly you wouldn’t even recognize yourself. And you’d thank me for it, wouldn’t you? By the time I’m done, you won’t want to remember what it felt like to be whole without me.”

His grip tightens, and you can feel the latent strength in his hands, the power that could snap bone without effort.

And yet he doesn’t.

Not yet.

He revels in the anticipation, in the way your body reacts—fear mingled with something darker, something you refuse to name. The way your breath catches, the way your pulse races beneath his fingers… it’s a symphony to him, a melody of submission he’s determined to conduct to its crescendo.

When he finally takes you, it’s not an act of love—it’s an act of dominance, of ownership.

His movements are deliberate, almost cruel in their precision, each thrust a reminder of who holds the reins. He doesn’t allow you to close your eyes, doesn’t let you escape into the safety of darkness.

No, he demands your gaze, demands that you see him, that you acknowledge the monster who has reduced you to this trembling, gasping wreck. And when you do—when your eyes meet his, wide and glassy with tears—he smiles. Not with joy, but with triumph, with the satisfaction of a hunter who has cornered his prey.

His words during these moments are a mix of degradation and adoration, a twisted litany that leaves no doubt of his intentions. “You’re mine,” he growls against your skin, the heat of his breath searing like a brand. “Every breath, every scream, every drop of blood in your veins—it all belongs to me.”

And yet, even as he tears you apart, there’s an undeniable allure in his madness, a magnetic pull that keeps you rooted to the spot even as every instinct screams at you to run.

Because beneath the cruelty, beneath the overwhelming force of his obsession, there’s a flicker of something more—a need so desperate it borders on pathetic, a craving for connection that he can’t voice but demands nonetheless.

When it’s over, he doesn’t release you.

His arms remain locked around you, a vice that refuses to loosen. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his breath ragged, his body still trembling with the aftermath.

And in that moment, you realize the truth of it: he doesn’t break you because he hates you. He breaks you because he loves you, because the thought of you existing without him is unbearable.

But love, for him, is not soft or kind. It is a blade, honed to a deadly edge, and he wields it without mercy.

“You’ll stay,” he whispers, and it’s not a question.

It’s a command, a promise, a threat.

“You’ll stay because there’s nowhere else for you to go. No one else who could ever understand you the way I do. And if you try to leave…” His voice trails off, but the unspoken consequence hangs heavy in the air, a silent vow etched in blood.

You nod, because what else can you do?

And as he tightens his hold on you, his lips brushing against your temple in a mockery of a kiss, you feel the full weight of your reality settle over you.

There is no escape. There never was.

And in the dark recesses of your mind, a small, terrified part of you wonders if you’ll ever want to leave at all.

♡ Anaxa.

"You think you can escape my mind, but you're already tangled in my thoughts—your every breath, every movement, is an echo of me. You belong to me, and I will never let you forget that."

The air around him was always cold, as if reality itself recoiled in his presence, drawing its warmth into the void of his indifference. Anaxa moved like an unfinished thought, fragmented, deliberate, yet ever disquieting.

You felt his shadow linger before you saw him, a chilling weight that settled on your skin like frost, sinking into the marrow of your bones. His eyes—one bared to the world, the other concealed beneath the eyepatch—were an unforgiving tapestry of contradictions: icy intellect simmering beneath the calm veneer, an endless labyrinth of thoughts that spiraled toward madness.

He whispered your name like a sacrament and a curse. Each syllable, spoken in that low, velvety cadence of his, seemed to unravel you, a knife peeling back every layer of resolve.

"You think knowledge can shield you," he murmured one night, his breath as cold and intimate as the edge of a scalpel. "But even wisdom has limits. I’ve seen them. I’ve transcended them." He would circle you like a predator savoring the hunt, his movements calculated, his proximity suffocating.

Anaxa was not a man who shattered the soul through brute force.

No, his torment was subtle—a slow dismantling, piece by piece, until you became something unrecognizable to even yourself.

You didn’t notice how he had claimed your life until it was too late. The quiet manipulation seeped in like poison—so gradual, so insidious, you mistook it for safety. Every book you touched, every whisper of thought you dared to express, every step you took outside the prison he called your sanctuary…all of it traced back to him. You'd look up from a page of text only to find him leaning in the doorway, a slight smile curling his lips, the sort that spoke of secrets too profound and too damning to voice.

"You have such a beautiful mind," he'd say, his gloved fingers brushing the side of your neck in a touch that was almost reverent.

"It’s wasted on anyone else. They’ll never understand you—not like I do." The words were honeyed, dripping with a sincerity so intoxicating you almost believed it.

Almost.

Until you noticed the way his gaze lingered on your trembling hands, on the ink smudges on your skin, on the way you recoiled yet stayed rooted in place. He liked the way fear made you fragile, and though you hated him for it, you hated yourself more for the flicker of thrill that bloomed in your chest.

Anaxa didn’t need chains to hold you down; his words alone were shackles. His intelligence was a web, intricate and all-encompassing, and you were the fly ensnared at its center.

"I don’t want to hurt you," he whispered once, late into the night when the room was too quiet and his voice was too close. "But I will, if it’s the only way to make you stay."

And you knew he meant it—not as a threat, but as a promise, a truth spoken with the same certainty as an immutable law of the universe.

The moments of intimacy—if one could call them that—were no less haunting.

His touch was clinical, precise, like a scientist studying a fragile specimen. He knew where to press, where to hold, where to carve into your soul with a calculated cruelty that left you yearning and dreading in equal measure.

His lips on your skin felt like frostbite, burning cold yet addictively sharp. His hands, those hands that wielded intellect like a blade, seemed to map every inch of you with the precision of a scholar dissecting sacred scripture.

"You’re beautiful," he would say, the words an oxymoron of tenderness and possession.

"Beautiful because you’re broken. Broken because you’re mine." He traced the curve of your throat with a gloved fingertip, lingering on the places where your pulse betrayed your terror.

His gaze bore into you, unrelenting, as though he could peel back the layers of flesh and bone to reach the essence of you. "Do you know what the Titans whispered to me in my dreams?" he asked once, his voice a mix of wonder and madness.

"They said I’d find divinity in ruin. And here you are."

The nights were the worst.

In the darkness, you felt him even when you didn’t see him.

The weight of his presence pressed against you, suffocating, inescapable. His words would echo in your mind, winding through your thoughts like a parasite. He’d appear at your bedside, his figure shrouded in the dim glow of moonlight.

"You should sleep," he’d murmur, though his tone carried no warmth. "You’ll need your strength. Tomorrow, we’ll unravel the secrets of the cosmos. Together."

And though you tried to resist, you found yourself clinging to the edges of his words, desperate for the clarity he promised, even as it led you deeper into his labyrinth.

When he finally claimed you, it was an act of calculated brutality disguised as love.

Every kiss felt like a conquest, every caress a branding. He whispered to you like a poet reciting his magnum opus, his voice soft yet unyielding, every syllable carrying the weight of his obsession.

"You belong to me," he said, his lips brushing against your ear as his hands pinned you beneath him. "Not just your body. Your mind. Your soul. Everything. No one else is worthy—not even you."

And as his touch became more demanding, more consuming, you realized that he wasn’t just unraveling you. He was recreating you, piece by piece, reshaping you into something that existed solely for him.

And though every fiber of your being screamed in defiance, a small, treacherous part of you wondered if this was love—or if it was something far darker, something that transcended the bounds of human understanding.

"You’ll never leave me," he said, his voice a blend of certainty and desperation as his lips ghosted over your trembling skin.

"Even if you try, even if you run…I’ll always find you. You’re the only constant in my chaos, the only light in my darkness. And I will burn the stars themselves before I let that light fade."

And so, you lay there in the cold embrace of his obsession, trapped between terror and desire, caught in the orbit of a man who would dismantle the heavens just to keep you by his side.

♡ Phainon.

"Every strike I make, every victory I win—it’s all for you. So don't be afraid when you see the blood. It's just a little sacrifice to remind you: you're mine, and I will burn this world to the ground before I let you go."

The moments he craves most are the quiet ones when the two of you are entirely alone, but tonight, silence isn’t kind.

It’s oppressive, weighted by the looming presence of the man before you—the Deliverer, the Nameless Hero, a man who wears the name Phainon like an armor of light.

Yet beneath that golden radiance, a storm of obsession churns, relentless and unyielding.

He stands over you, the faint luminescence of his ichor-stained veins pulsing faintly in the dim, cold air of the temple chamber. You can feel his gaze before you see it—heavy, glinting with something raw and unspeakable.

His voice, when it finally breaks the silence, is soft but unshakable, carrying the weight of a promise that makes your blood run cold.

“You don’t understand, do you? You’ve never understood.” A smile curls at the edge of his lips, serene yet terrifying. “I don’t want to save the world, not anymore. I want to save you. Every step I’ve taken, every blow I’ve struck, has always been for you.”

His claymore rests at his side, its edge gleaming faintly with an unsettling crimson, dried remnants of the battle from earlier still clinging to the blade.

He hasn’t cleaned it.

He hasn’t even sheathed it.

The weapon is as much a part of him as the air he breathes.

You can’t help but wonder if the blood that stains it belongs to someone you knew, someone who once stood too close to you for his liking.

He takes a step closer, the sound of his boots against the stone floor echoing like the toll of a funeral bell.

You back away instinctively, but there’s no escape.

His pace is slow, deliberate. He knows exactly how far he needs to push you before your resolve shatters.

“Run if you want to,” he murmurs, his tone almost gentle. “I won’t stop you. But you’ll come back. You always do.”

There’s no malice in his words, only certainty—a chilling, inescapable truth that wraps around your throat like a noose.

His hands are stained too.

Not visibly, not this time, but you can feel it in the way he reaches for you.

Fingers meant for wielding destruction now hover over your cheek, trembling slightly with restraint.

You flinch, and the flicker of hurt that crosses his face is almost human—almost.

“You’re afraid of me,” he whispers, his breath brushing against your ear as he leans closer.

“And I... I hate that. I hate that you make me this way. But I hate it even more when you’re far from me.”

When his lips press against yours, it isn’t a kiss—it’s a conquest.

His desperation seeps into you like venom, intoxicating and suffocating all at once. He tastes like metal and fury, his ichor burning faintly where his tongue grazes yours. His touch isn’t tender; it’s possessive, frantic, like he’s trying to carve his existence into your very bones.

His hand tangles in your hair, tugging hard enough to make you gasp, and the sound only seems to spur him on. “You’re mine,” he growls against your lips, his voice dropping to a low, dangerous timbre. “Say it.”

You don’t.

You can’t.

And that’s when his patience snaps.

His grip tightens, dragging you against him until there’s no space left between your bodies. The heat of him is overwhelming, a furnace of ichor and madness that threatens to consume you whole. His other hand presses against the small of your back, forcing you to arch into him as he lowers his head to your neck.

His breath is hot against your skin, and when he speaks again, it’s a guttural rasp that makes your stomach twist. “You don’t understand how far I’d go for you. What I’d destroy. Who I’d become.”

He sinks his teeth into the curve of your shoulder, not enough to break the skin but enough to leave a mark—a brand, a reminder of his claim. You cry out, and he exhales sharply, almost like he’s savoring the sound.

“That’s it,” he murmurs, his voice dripping with satisfaction. “That’s the truth of it, isn’t it? You’ll scream for me, cry for me... but you’ll never leave.”

And he’s right, isn’t he?

Because even now, as fear and anger coil in your chest like a viper, you can’t bring yourself to push him away.

His presence is suffocating, his obsession terrifying—but there’s something about the way he looks at you, like you’re the sun in a world of endless night, that makes it impossible to resist him entirely.

It’s sick.

It’s wrong.

But it’s real.

Phainon knows it too.

He knows you better than you know yourself, and that knowledge is his greatest weapon.

He wields it with precision, unraveling you piece by piece until there’s nothing left but the parts of you that belong to him.

“You’ll stay,” he whispers, his lips ghosting over your collarbone. “You’ll always stay. Because no one else can have you. Not the Titans, not the Trailblazer... not even yourself.”

When he finally pulls away, his eyes lock onto yours, glowing faintly with the golden ichor that courses through his veins. There’s something hauntingly beautiful about him in this moment, a tragic god draped in shadows. He tilts his head, studying you like a puzzle he’s just solved.

“You’re mine,” he says again, softer this time. “And I’m yours. Whether you like it or not.”

And you believe him.

────────────

If you want to be added or removed from the tag list, just comment on the MASTERLIST of Forbidden Fruits (FF): Intimate Obsessions, Unhinged Desires. Thank you.

General TAG LIST of “Forbidden Fruits”: @uniquecutie-puffs , @belovedoftheanemoarchon , @tnsophiaonly , @mokingbrd78k , @cooldeermagazine , @mimitk , @xileonaaaa , @acacia-koi , @purple-obsidian , @waterfal-ling , @jjune-07 , @jsprien213 , @crimson-kisses , @tinandabin , @sashakittycloud , @songbirdgardensworld , @monamuskay

———

❤︎ Fang Dokja's Books.

♡ Book 1. A Heart Devoured (AHD): A Dark Yandere Anthology ♡ Book 2. 🔞Forbidden Fruits (FF): Intimate Obsessions, Unhinged Desires. ♡ Book 3. World Ablaze (WA) : For You, I'd Burn the World. ♡ Book 4. Whispers in the Dark (WITD): Subtle Devotion, Lingering Shadows.

[anixvl]

WHAT ONCE WAS || NI-KI

pairing: idol!niki x actress!reader

synopsis: Years after your long-term relationship break up, you catch a glimpse of your ex on the news. But, he’s an upcoming star in a korean boy band group. Preparing for their upcoming music video, you're selected as the female lead. Will seeing each other after so long hender your hard-earned founded careers?

genre: old lovers to strangers to lovers, SUGGESTIVEE AFFFF, AU famous, use of irl famous people & films, kinda slow burn?

warnings: angst, suggestive, altered roles in films

wc: 7.5K

The lights of the studio were blinding, but you smiled through it, the practiced grace of an actress trained to charm cameras. It became second-nature to you, after years of blood, sweat, and tears. Many, tears.

Your undeniable hard work.

Across from you, the interviewer leaned in, her voice light but sharp, the way all seasoned hosts wrapped their punches in cunning enthusiasm. It was the 6th interview in the last 2 weeks, and every last one implemented the same topic. It was exhausting.

“You’ve worked with so many big names recently,” she said, her pen poised over her notepad.

“But I have to ask—there’s been a lot of talk about you and Ni-ki of Enhypen. Any truth to the rumors?”

There it was.

The repetitive, infuriating, question you've dreaded.

Your breath hitched, but you didn’t flinch. On the surface, the question was about your recent collaboration on the upcoming music video. Beneath it, though, was the unspoken truth you've spent years burying, desperately trying to forget.

To obliterate, completely.

Ni-ki wasn’t just a co-star or the idol dominating global charts. No, you both knew he was far from that.

You swallowed, pushing away all insistent memories you've forgotten you had. You laughed softly, the kind that said nice try without confirming anything.

“Ni-ki is an incredible talent,” you smiled, leaning back in your chair, “It was an honor to work with him and the boys.”

The interviewer smiled knowingly, “Some would say there’s more to the story. Any comment on the chemistry fans noticed between you two—both on and off-screen?”

you looked away, just for a heartbeat, as the memories rushed back.

Late-night walks in the quiet streets of the home-town you both grew up in, whispered dreams of making it big, and the final, shattering silence that left you both broken.

You smiled again, the professional mask slipping back into place.

“The chemistry,” you said, “is all part of the performance.”

You knew what it meant to be an actress, a global sensation, at that. You had dealt with hate, rumors, and scandals many times during your career. None of it was new to you, not that any of it was bigger than your fan base and public admiration towards you. You had billboards, luxury brand partnership, and magazines on your success and beauty. You're doing extraordinarily well. Romantic rumors between you and your co-stars wasn't new, fans love to group together actors with "chemistry." Not that it was bothersome, your publicity teams used this as advertisement to boost the views for your films, they even encouraged to subtly feed into your fans delusion. It was harmless.

4 years ago, you were nothing but a girl with passionate dreams. With huge dreams to be an actress, a star. If it wasn't for the profound heartbreak you went through back then, you wouldn't have had the courage to leave your small home-town without looking back once. As the years went by, you worked hard and gained recognition like wildfire. Not only were you talented but also undeniably beautiful, big roles were given to you insistently. You were incredibly grateful, to all your fans and support staff, so you worked evermore harder on your acting and events. It was all you felt you had after leaving your home-town, alone. You couldn't let them down, it was your motivation to be better. It was a testament of your hard work, that you could be someone in this world despite of your poor past. Or the betrayals.

A month ago, you were incredibly busy with your demanding schedule. After finally wrapping up Lovely Runner and only a few events left to attend, you had time to breathe. You barely had time to yourself, let alone to watch the news or care about the media. Not if it wasn't PR or about your work. That was, until you absentmindedly decided to turn on the channel news on a random Saturday night. Why would you do that? Out of all days, too. The only time you had to yourself, the only time you decide to indulge yourself with the media, you come face-to-face with the last person you ever thought you'd see again.

Your ex.

Only, he's not there as your ex but as an upcoming kpop idol.

Your heart drops at the sound of his name said by the reporter and his face up-close on the screen. Yes, its undoubtly him. You stop in your tracks, facing the screen of your echoing tv, in the living room of your penthouse. Suddenly, the cup of tea slips from your unresponsive hands and shatters onto the floor. Your assistant rushes out to you, her eyes widening in concern.

"y/n, are you okay? What happened?" She asks, pulling you away from the mess.

You stammer, "I'm...yeah, I'm fine. I-I don't know what...what happened. It must've slipped."

You manage to snap out of the trance, helping your assitant, Kate, clean up the mess. Your eyes frequently find the TV screen, attentively listening to the content. You feel as if a cold sweat has overcame you, you feel nauseous, the shock draining the color from your face.

Get a fucking grip, y/n. What difference does it make now that you know he's doing well? So what if he's a star? You're doing your own thing now, you wont ever cross paths with him. Let it go.

You take a final deep breath, turning off the TV and pushing back the memory of his face on the news.

You were sure you weren't going to see him again, after all, you're an actress. When will a busy actress like you ever meet with a busy idol?

The red carpet glistened under the camera flashes, a sea of faces cheering as you stepped out of the car, your gown flowing like liquid starlight. This was supposed to be your moment—a night to celebrate your tenth major acting award nomination. The big, luxurious, successful ten.

But then you heard it: a name called out by fans down the carpet, echoing like a forgotten melody. His name. Your heart stalled as you turned toward the commotion, and there he was, stepping onto the same carpet from a sleek black van, surrounded by his group members. The world knew him as the rising star of Enhypen, the global sensation boy band.

But to you, he was just Ni-ki—the boy who had once held your heart.

The crowd roared as the lights dimmed, the announcer’s voice booming through the grand stadium. The biggest night in entertainment had brought out the stars, and you were seated front and center, right where the cameras loved you most. Your stylist’s work was flawless—an elegant gown shimmering like stardust, paired with a smile that was as breathtaking and admirable as your reputation.

“And the award for Best International Collaboration goes to…”

The host's pause stretched endlessly, and you leaned back, feigning nonchalance for the cameras. But as soon as the name was announced, the room erupted in cheers.

“Enhypen, featuring Selena Grace!”

You clapped politely, your smile widening for the benefit of the cameras.

Of course, they’d win. Enhypen was unstoppable, and their song XO—an international smash—had cemented their status as global icons. Niki's face flashed on the massive screens as he and his bandmates stood, their tailored suits gleaming under the stage lights.

You kept your eyes onto the big displaying screens, your hands folded neatly in your lap as Jungwon signaled him to deliver the speech. He nods, stepping towards the mic.

“Thank you to the fans,” he began with a charming smile, his voice alluring and low.

“This wouldn’t have been possible without your love and support," He extends his hand out to signal at someone in the crowd, "And, of course, to Selena Grace, who brought magic to this project.”

The camera cut to Selena, seated just a few rows behind you, blowing him a kiss. Your smile faltered, just for a second. You quickly regain your composure, just in case the camera unexpectedly lands on you. You don't want to create unnecessary content for people to delude.

As the applause died down and the show moved on, you braced yourself for your category. Fame had taught you the art of composure, but tonight, you felt like you were unraveling. You wanted nothing than to go home and enjoy your peace.

The announcer’s voice rang through the stadium, cutting through the applause like a beacon.

“And the award for Best Actress in a Leading Role goes to… Y/n L/n!”

The room erupted into cheers and applause, the sound crashing over you like a wave. You felt the cameras zoom in, capturing every detail—the way you pressed your hands to your chest in mock surprise, the graceful way you rose to your feet, the dazzling smile that lit up you face. All of it was calculated, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t real.

As you made your way to the stage, your co-star Byeon Woo-seok in your latest drama Lovely Runner, helped the train of your gown that trailed behind you like liquid gold up the small case of stairs in courteously. But you knew it was also partly just a publicity stunt to feed into the fans who shipped you both together. The audience went louder at this, the host's smiling at the scene before them. It was a sweet gesture. He placed his hand on your lower back, protectively to ensure you could safely walk up the stage. Once safely on the stage, you exchange polite short talk and he rushes back to his seat. The cameras switch back to the crowd, It caught a flicker of movement in the audience.

Niki. He was clapping, his expression unreadable. For a fleeting moment, you locked eyes with him through the big screen. It was as if no time had passed, as if you were back in those quiet moments when it was just you and him in your small home-town.

Then the moment was gone, you quickly looked away and you were back in the spotlight.

The statuette was heavier than you expected as you accepted it, its shiny surface cool against your fingers. The host handed you the microphone, and you turned to face the audience—a sea of faces, cameras, and adoration.

“Wow,” you began, your voice steady and sweet despite the pounding of your heart.

“This… this is truly an honor. Acting has been my dream for as long as I can remember, and to be standing here once again tonight feels like a dream come true," you laugh, softly.

Polite laughter rippled through the room. You continued, your tone warm and heartfelt, the kind of sincerity that always won over the public. Like your last nine awards.

“There are so many people I need to thank—my director, my incredible cast," you smile as the camera cuts to your handsome co-star, "Woo-seok, thank you so much for being such a wonderful partner."

He smiles sheepishly, shaking his head.

"My team who works tirelessly behind the scenes, and, of course, my fans. You’ve made this journey possible, and I’m so grateful for your unwavering support," You continued.

The applause swelled again, and you smiled, letting it wash over you. But as you glanced out at the audience, your eyes land onto the big screen which found Niki once more. This time, his gaze was steady, his expression softer. For a split second, you faltered. Your attention shifts back to the mic.

“And to everyone out there chasing their dreams,” you added, your voice catching slightly, “never give up. You never know how far they’ll take you.”

The audience cheered as you stepped back from the microphone. Your heart was still racing as you made your way offstage, clutching the award like a lifeline.

When the award show was over, you lingered around, talking and socializing with other actors and idols. You spoke to some reporters and did quick interviews.

Kate stayed behind you, following you as you made your way through the crowd. Your smile lit up at the sight of Woo-seok waving you over. As you made your way, the view became clearer. Your eyes land on Woo-seok's company, Enhypen. Your smile faltered a bit. You stand next to Woo-seok as you exchange polite greetings with Enhypen.

“You were amazing up there," Jay said, flashing you a polite smile.

you return the smile, humbly denying.

"That was all you guys, congratulations on the new album," you beamed.

“That speech," Niki speaks up, "it reminded me of someone I used to know.”

The voice made your breath get stuck in your throat for a moment. Turning to face him, you found Niki standing, his hands tucked casually into the pockets of his tailored suit. It's the first time you've seen him since the incident.

your eyes flicker and before you knew it, your mind spoke for itself, “People change.”

“Some things don’t," His response is quick, as if he knew what you were going to say. His gaze lingered, heavy with unspoken words.

You both look into each other's eyes fiercely. Thankfully, Jake changes the topic, starting lively conversation between Woo-seok and the boys. Niki and I stay quiet for a bit, the tension unbearably suffocating. You shake it off, jumping back into conversation with them, completely disregarding NIki. Great, now they will start to suspect. Could this get any worse for you?

Soon after, their director comes over to you. You greet him as he showers you in humble compliments.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something," he said, looking back and forth between you and Enhypen.

you tilt your head, actively listening.

“Our team’s planning a music video for Enhypen's next single. A big one. And I have someone specific in mind for the lead," he explains.

You look over at the boys, nodding your head cheerfully, "Is that so? That's really great, I'll be rooting for you guys!"

"Actually, Y/n..." Sunoo trails off, exchanging looks with the other members.

“Let me guess,” you said, “Selena Grace?”

“No,” Niki stepped closer, his voice lowering, “You.”

Your eyes widen in surprise, you whip your head toward the director for clarification. You've faced countless directors, producers, and critics, but this? This was different. You've never been in a music video, let alone for a famous Korean boy band.

“Really? Me? You think that’s a good idea?” you asked, your voice laced with denial yet gratitude.

The director smiled, nodding.

"We think you're perfect for the role," he turned to the boys, "don't we?"

You turn to face them, still in disbelief. Kate starts typing in her phone, probably sending off the information to your manager.

Niki holds a unreadable expression, “I think it’s the best idea.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, confused at his weird behaviour. You would think that after what happened the last time you both saw each other, your interactions would be vastly different. Yet, It's alarmingly peaceful, with a hint of passive-aggressive.

He smiled faintly, the kind that used to make your heart race.

That following week, news on your collaboration spread like wildfire, it became the most spoken topic and the shooting hasn't even finished. Papparazzi's followed and increased, appearing at your meetings sites with Enhypen. It was a global anticipation, your biggest project of all.

On the first official day of shooting, the set buzzed with energy as Enhypen arrived. Niki's bandmates were larger-than-life in person, their charisma radiating like a collective force field.

And, oh, so handsome.

They stood in a group, laughing and joking as if they hadn’t just stepped off a whirlwind tour.

The sun blazed high over the set, casting golden light across the sprawling outdoor location. The production team buzzed like a hive, cameras and lighting rigs being adjusted, assistants darting between trailers, and the director shouting final instructions. Amid the chaos, you sat in the makeup chair, staring at your reflection.

The makeup artist added the finishing touches, but your nerves weren’t about your appearance. Today was the first day of filming Enhypen's music video—and the first time you'd be working with Niki as professionals since your lives diverged. You hated it, utterly despised him and the thought of being around him another second longer. But you knew it wasn't fair for the rest of the nice crew, after all, it was just this and nothing more. You wouldn’t even need to really interact with him, right? Just endure it a little longer...

“Y/n L/n!” Jay called out, his voice warm and playful. You smoothed the soft fabric of the ethereal dress the costume team had chosen for you as you stepped out. All eyes seemed to follow, the weight of your “dream girl” reputation trailing like a shadow. The staff helped you out of the trailer, staying careful with your dress. You waved, cheerfully, greeting them.

Jungwon gave you a polite bow, “Thank you for agreeing to work with us. The fans are already calling this the collaboration of the year.”

“No pressure, right?” you joked, earning a few chuckles.

Behind him, the remaining members hung back slightly, though their smiles were welcoming. It was clear they all shared an easy camaraderie, the kind that came from years of working, traveling, and growing together.

As you filled your bottle with water, you could feel Niki's gaze, though he hadn’t said a word.

“Don’t be shy,” Heeseung chimed in, clearly relishing the opportunity to engage, “We were just talking about our most embarrassing moments on stage. Do you have one?”

you turned, tilting your head slightly in thought, “Embarrassing moments? Hmm…”

“There was one time during a premiere when I tripped on my dress. Right in front of a live audience and the cameras," you shook your head, recalling the embarrassment at just the thought.

Sunghoon gasped theatrically, “The dream girl… tripped?”

“It happens,” you said with a shrug, laughing.

“But I recovered gracefully, if I do say so myself," you boasted, playfully.

“Of course you did,” Sunoo said, flashing a sweet smile.

“You’re Y/n L/n. You probably made it look like part of the act," Jake joked.

The room burst into laughter, and you couldn’t help but feel a little at ease.

Niki finally spoke, his voice cutting through the lighthearted chatter, “You’ve always been good at making things look effortless.”

The tone of his compliment was subtle, but the room seemed to sense the shift. The laughter died down, and for a moment, the air between you both felt suffocating.

Jay, ever the mediator, clapped his hands together, “Well, since we’re all here, should we teach y/n some choreography from the song?”

you raised an eyebrow, laughing nervously, “Oh no, I’m not a dancer.”

Sunghoon smirked, “You’re an actress. You can pretend to be one.”

Before you could protest, Sunoo was pulling you closer to them, “It’s easy! Just the chorus—Niki, show her.”

Niki shifted reluctantly, but there was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. He positioned himself beside you, demonstrating a smooth trail with his arms followed by a quick footwork sequence.

“Like this,” he said, his voice quieter now.

you tried to mimic the movement, fumbling awkwardly. The group erupted into laughter, Jake doubling over onto Sunghoon dramatically.

“Okay, okay, I get it,” you said, throwing your hands up in surrender, “Stick to acting for me.”

Niki chuckled softly, his smile genuine, “You weren’t that bad.”

you met his gaze, and for a moment, you felt your breath get stuck in your throat. You quickly looked away, suppressing your thoughts.

“I swear i’m not this bad at dancing,” you defended, playfully, “it just went a little too fast for me to catch on to.”

As the crew finalized the next setup, the director approached, clapping his hands, “Alright, everyone! Let’s get the group shot lined up. Y/n, you’ll be center stage with the guys circling you. We want this to feel like a dream sequence—intense, almost otherworldly.”

you moved to your positions, and you found yourself surrounded by the seven of them. Each carried a distinct presence: Sunghoons quiet confidence, Jake’s playful energy, Heeseungs brooding intensity, Sunoo’s charming warmth, Jungwons calm concentration, Jay’s cool collectiveness, and Niki… well, Niki was Niki: Reserved.

“Alright, everyone, eyes on y/n,” the director called, “This is about the connection. She’s the muse, the untouchable figure you’re drawn to. Feel the tension.”

As the music swelled and the cameras rolled, the guys slipped effortlessly into their roles. You executed your simple choreography gracefully, focusing. Their gazes were piercing, their movements fluid, creating an aura that felt both surreal and magnetic.

But it was Niki’s gaze that unsettled you the most. His eyes locked onto yours, carrying an intensity that blurred the line between performance and reality.

“Cut!” the director called, sounding thrilled, “That was perfect. Let’s reset for the close-ups.”

As the crew adjusted the lighting, Jay leaned in conspiratorially, “You’re a natural at this.”

“Ever thought about switching careers? We could use a eighth member,” Sunoo smiled.

“Only if you want your fans to riot,” you teased.

The group laughed, but Niki stayed quiet, his focus still on you. It made you uncomfortable, catching his gazes frequently. You couldn’t think straight, and it frustrated you.

“Alright, alright,” the director interrupted, “Let’s keep this energy going.”

As you moved back into position, you caught Niki watching you again. This time, his expression was softer, almost unreadable.

“Ready?” he asked, his voice low enough that only you could hear.

“Always,” you replied, meeting his gaze head-on. You look away, giving him the cold shoulder.

After your small break, as you approached the director, he clapped his hands together.

“Perfect timing! Niki, y/n, let’s go over the first solo scene,” he instructed.

You falter for a moment.

You have a solo scene with Niki? Could the universe hate you even more?

you gathered around the monitor as he explained the setup. The concept was intimate: Niki, a mysterious figure, would catch glimpses of you in a dream-like world, your connection growing through fleeting encounters. The chemistry between you would carry the narrative.

“Chemistry,” you thought, biting back a wry smile. That wouldn’t be a problem. If anything, the challenge was hiding it.

The first shot involved you walking barefoot through a field, the breeze catching the hem of your dress, while Niki watched from a distance. Simple enough.

“Positions, everyone!” the assistant director called.

you took your mark, feeling the cool grass beneath your feet, and glanced at Niki. He stood at his mark, hands in his pockets, his gaze fixed on you. The look in his eyes sent a ripple through you—curiosity, recognition, and something deeper that he didn’t try to hide.

“Action!”

Your eyes flickered as you snapped back into reality. The world around you fell silent as you moved through the scene, every step slow and deliberate. Niki’s presence loomed at the edge of your awareness, his gaze a constant weight. You glanced back over your shoulder as directed, and your eyes met.

Time seemed to slow.

For a moment, it wasn’t the camera capturing you but the past pulling you back to a place you both tried to leave behind.

“Cut!” the director called, breaking the trance.

He clapped enthusiastically, “That was beautiful. Perfect connection. Let’s reset for the next shot.”

you exhaled, only then realizing you’ve been holding your breath. Niki approached as the crew adjusted the setup.

“You’re good at this,” he said quietly, his voice low enough that only you could hear.

Yet it felt sarcastic to you. It irked you.

“Took a lot of hard work and many sacrifices,” you replied, keeping your tone neutral.

His eyes narrowed, his lips twitching into a faint smile, but his eyes searched yours as if trying to read what you weren’t saying.

The next scene involved you standing closer, your hands nearly touching but never quite meeting. The director called it a “moment of almost,” the kind of shot that fans would replay endlessly.

As you both stood there, your hands hovering inches apart, the tension between you both became palpable.

“Action!”

you turned toward him, your character’s longing meant to be subtle yet undeniable. But as your eyes met, the emotions spilling from him felt too real. For a second, you wondered if Niki was acting at all—or if he, like you, were still caught in the echoes of what you used to be.

Of what once was.

The final day of shooting had been grueling, but the wrap party was in full swing. The studio’s rooftop terrace glittered with string lights and a panoramic view of the city skyline. Cast, crew, and industry insiders mingled, laughing and toasting to the success of the project. You were tired of keeping a front for the reporters and photographers. Being close to Niki, feeling his touch on your skin, his gaze on yours—it was all too overwhelming. Moreover, it didn’t make anything better that fans and media shipped you both together after the music video was released. Countless of interviews included him, you felt as if all your hard work was underestimated because of Niki. As if your boost in popularity was mostly because of him. It irritated you.

You worked hard for this. You made it out for yourself. No thanks to him. All you wanted was to be as far as you could from him.

You leaned against the railing, a glass of champagne in hand, but your mind was elsewhere. The past few weeks had been a whirlwind of emotions. Working with Niki had stirred up everything you’ve buried—the longing, the heartbreak, the unresolved tension. And tonight, it felt like it was all teetering on the edge of spilling over. You were so fed up. The pretentious act, the subtle messages, the mixed signals. Everything.

“You’re quiet tonight.”

His voice came from behind you, gentle and steady. You didn’t have to turn to know it was Niki.

You exhaled slowly, irritated, “Just tired.”

He stepped closer, the warmth of his presence cutting through the cool night air.

“Tired, or avoiding me?”

you turn around to face him, “What are you talking about?”

His expression was calm, but his eyes spoke many messages. He shoves his hands in his pockets, sighing.

“You’ve been distant. Since that scene last week, you’ve barely looked at me, let alone talked to me. Why?” he urged, his expression holding a look of longing.

you roll your eyes, the frustration bubbling up, “I’m just doing my job. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to be doing?”

He shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips, “Don’t do that. Don’t pretend this is just work. I know you felt it—every moment we’ve had together on set, it wasn’t just acting. And you’re running from it.”

your chest tightened, his words hitting too close to the truth than you like. You set your glass down on the railing, your hands trembling.

“What do you want me to say? That I feel something? That being around you again makes me question everything I’ve tried to move past?”

“Yes,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. Your eyebrows furrow.

“Because it’s the same for me. I tried to move on, y/n, but you… you’re everywhere. And now, working with you, it’s like every wall I built is crumbling.”

you stared at him, the weight of his confession crashing into you.

You scoffed, annoyed and in disbelief at his audacity. This isn’t how the story went in your book. No.

“You left, Niki! You chose this life, this path. You can’t just show yourself in front of me after not hearing from you for years and expect me to pretend like everything is fine,” you fumed, tears clouding your vision.

His jaw tightened, “I looked for you! I came back to our hometown, I…I searched for you everywhere. But it was too late. They told me you were gone. I didn’t know where to look for you, y/n...”

Your eyes flickered in shock. Your heart dropped. He looked for you? Why didn’t you know any of this? No one ever told you that he came back for you…but still, to act like this after leaving in the first place is uncalled for. What difference does it make, right? But why is your heart beating so fast? Why is your body longing for his touch?

He steps closer to you, “I was so stupid for leaving you alone in the first place, I know. I got caught up with my schedule and training that I couldn’t even sleep, let alone text. Training was intense and immersive at the company, we weren’t allowed to communicate. By the time they were more lenient with communicating, i left you so many messages and calls. Why didn’t you answer?”

You blink, slowly taking in the information, “I had changed my number. After being ghosted by my own boyfriend, seeing you be all successful on your own and feeling like you forgot about me, hurt me. It’s when I started my acting career.”

He shook his head, “I could never abandon you, it wasn’t on purpose, y/n. I thought about you every single second. You were my motivation. I thought once i was successful enough, i’d be able to find you quicker. That you’d come find me.”

“You just decided for both of us, and I was supposed to be okay with it? Do you know what it felt like to see you fade away without a word? I was worried sick for you! I didn’t know where to find you or reach you. I even worried that you were dead! Just like that, without even officially ending it, the relationship we had built was gone in an instant. How could you do this to me?” you bit your lip, holding back the urge to cry.

The silence that followed was deafening. His shoulders slumped slightly, the fight draining out of him, “I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to hurt you. But I see now that I hurt you more than anything else ever could. And I regret it so much.”

you crossed your arms, trying to keep a calm and collected composure despite the burning feeling in your throat from trying not to cry, “You did.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the sounds of the party fading into the background.

Then, softly, he said, “I don’t want to hurt you again, y/n. But I don’t know how to stop feeling this way.”

you shook your head, tears threatening to spill, “You don’t get to say that now, Niki. You don’t get to just… come back into my life and make me feel like this all over again. Not after years of loving you—waiting for you.”

He softly flinched, his expression softening. He reached for your hand, but you pulled away, stepping back.

“I can’t do this,” you whispered, your voice breaking, “I can’t go through this again.”

You turned on your heel, heading towards the exit. You quickly get pulled back by Niki, whose grip is desperate onto your wrist.

“Don’t go,” he pleaded, “please.”

“Niki, let go of me—”

“I love you.”

Your eyes widen slightly at his abrupt words. Your body loosens, forgetting to resist. Your eyes meet, his touch on your skin tingles.

“What are you saying?” You managed to say, your eyes looking into his for truth.

“I love you, y/n. I never stopped loving you,” he confessed, looking down at you in yearning.

“Don’t do this,” You pleaded, shaking your head softly as tears prickle at the corner of your eyes.

You didn’t know how much you could take, and all of this was just too sudden. Like salt on the wound.

And then, Jay barges through the doors of the rooftop.

“Niki, they need you,” he said, looking back and forth between you both.

You quickly turn away, hiding your teary expression. Before he could say anything, You quickly make your way past Jay and out the doors. As you push your way through the crowd, you feel your heart breaking further and further you walk away from him.

The echoes of the rooftop confrontation lingered long after you left the party. You replayed Niki’s words in your head, over and over, until they became a loop of emotions you couldn’t escape.

For the next few days, you threw yourself into work, avoiding every call, text, and notification. Niki hadn’t reached out directly, but articles about the music video were everywhere, the internet buzzing with speculation about your "chemistry." Fans had pieced together theories and speculations about you both. It was alarming.

When your phone buzzed with a new text from your manager, you hesitated before reading it.

"Director wants you on set tomorrow. Enhypen is doing some last-minute pickups for the video, and they want you in the final scene. Non-negotiable."

You stared at the message, your stomach knotting. Facing Niki again felt impossible, but walking away now would mean letting your emotions derail your hard earned career—a line you weren’t willing to cross.

The final scene was simple: Niki and I standing together, framed by soft lighting, as the camera panned out to symbolize resolution. When you arrived, Niki was already there, surrounded by makeup team. He looked up as you entered, his expression a mix of hesitation and relief.

“Y/n,” he said, standing.

you nodded curtly, keeping your distance, “Let’s just get this over with.”

The director wasted no time, positioning you both side by side under the glow of a massive artificial sunset. The scene required you to face each other, your hands almost touching as if the unspoken tension between you had finally resolved.

“Alright, action!”

you moved into position, your eyes meeting under the soft light. Your breath caught as Niki’s hand hovered close to yours, the warmth of his presence seeping through the small space between you. The scene was supposed to be quiet, but as the camera rolled, Niki broke the silence. His voice was barely audible, meant only for you.

“I meant what I said the other night,” he whispered, his eyes searching yours.

You tensed, your carefully maintained composure cracking.

“Niki…”

“No, listen,” he continued, his voice steady but full of emotion.

“I’ve spent every day since I left regretting it. I thought I was doing what was best for us, but I was a coward. I was afraid of being no one, so I worked tirelessly to debut. I wanted to be someone for you. To get us both out of that small town. But i was too careless and forgot what all of this was for. Who all of this was for… you were the only thing keeping me grounded,” he said.

Tears welled in your eyes, but you couldn’t respond. The director called, “Cut!” but neither of you moved. Niki’s hand finally closed the gap, his fingers brushing yours.

“Please, y/n. Just tell me if there’s still a chance. I’ll fight for it—I’ll fight for us—if you want me to,” he begged, squeezing your hand.

Your throat tightened as his words sank in, “Do you think it’s that easy? That we can just pick up where we left off?”

“No,” he admitted, his voice raw, “But I’ll do whatever it takes to make it right.”

The crew watched you both curiously as you stood there, the tension palpable even off-camera. Finally, you stepped back, breaking the moment.

“I need time,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

Niki nodded, though the pain in his eyes was evident, “I’ll wait.”

Back in your apartment that night, you sat alone in the dim light of your living room, replaying every word he’d said. Part of you wanted to believe him, to take the leap and trust that you both could find your way back to each other. But another part of you was terrified. Of being hurt again.

Weeks after that, you continued to replay those moments with Niki. Although shooting was wrapped up and the music video was out, you still felt stuck. You hadn’t reached out to him, you hesitated every time, afraid of what could happen if you decide to let him back in. But you knew, deep down, you were running away from what you truly felt.

Love.

You ardently and most irrevocably, loved Niki.

You stared at his name on your phone for the millionth time this month. Your thumb hovering over the call button before you sighed and put the phone down. You just didn’t have the courage to do it. Just as you were about to head to the kitchen for coffee, there was a knock at the door. You froze, your heart racing.

Yes, you just knew.

when you opened the door, there he was. Niki, standing in the hallway, looking like he hadn’t slept. His hair was a mess, his outfit still impeccable, but his eyes—those eyes that always seemed to see through you—were unwavering.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, your voice weaker than you intended.

“I couldn’t leave things like that,” he said, his voice low but steady. “Please, I just needed to see you.”

You hesitated, every part of you screaming to slam the door and protect what was left of your fragile heart. But something in his expression stopped you.

“Five minutes,” you said, stepping aside.

He walked in, his movements careful, as though afraid of pushing you further away. You stayed near the door, arms crossed, your defenses firmly in place.

“I know I hurt you,” he began, his hands clenching at his sides. “And I’ve been trying to figure out the right way to say this, but there isn’t one. I’ve been missing you, missing you like crazy.”

His words hung in the air, heavy with sincerity.

“You don’t know what it was like for me, Niki. Watching you rise, seeing your face everywhere while I was trying to forget—do you have any idea how that felt?”

“I do,” he said softly, “Because I was watching you too. Every movie, every headline—you were everywhere, y/n. And every time, I thought, ‘She’s better off without me.’ But now…”

He paused, his voice breaking slightly, “Now I know I was wrong. I don’t want to just be a memory in your life. I want to be part of it again.”

The vulnerability in his voice shattered something in you.

He took a step closer, his gaze never leaving yours,“let me prove it to you. Whatever it takes, I’ll do it. Just… don’t shut me out, y/n. Not again. I don’t want to lose you when i just got you back.”

“I can’t promise anything,” you said finally.

He holds you by your arms, looking down at you tenderly.

He nodded, a small, hopeful smile tugging at his lips. “That’s enough.”

You both stare at eachother in silence, the tension growing heavier and heavier. Your eyes glance down at his lips and then up at his eyes. And before you both knew it, you were drawing closer and closer to each other.

He kisses you, softly and tenderly. For a second, you’re stunned but quickly close your eyes in relief as you kiss him back. He lets out a soft, relieved, sigh as he moves his hands from your arms to cup your face. He deepened the kiss, savoring every taste of you. He starts to push forward, causing you to move backward until your back hits the wall. The kiss is yearnful, desperate, and so messy. Feelings you didn’t know you had emerged from you. Finally, you both pull away to catch your breath.

“I missed this,” he exhaled, both of your faces just mere inches away.

Both your foreheads rested against each other. You closed your eyes, catching your breath.

“Me too…” your breath hitched as his fingers found their way under your shirt.

He captures your lips once again, slowly yet hungrily. He picks you up, you wrap your legs around his torso and your arms around his neck. He leads you blindly to the bedroom, laying you on top of the bed. He positions himself between your legs as he towers over you, using his arms to support his weight. He doesn’t break the kiss as his hands trail all over your body. Feeling every inch of you, remembering, noting every feature of your trembling body. He breaks the kiss to leave a trail of wet kisses on your neck, his free hand sliding under your shirt. He feels your bare skin under his touch, he grips onto your waist. You let out a shaky exhale.

“Niki…”

"Y/n,” he murmured, his tone a mix of desperation and restraint, “I can’t do this halfway with you. If I continue kissing you—touching you like this—I won’t be able to stop.”

You swallow, hard. After a moment of hesitation, you nod. He captures your lips once again, this time slowly, meaningfully, and passionately. As if he was promising so many things in one kiss. He drags his arm down your legs, slowly pulling down your shorts alongside.

His touch became more insistent as he worshipped you with a fervor that left you breathless. Whispering and groaning sweet names and phrases to you like an alluring consolation. Time seemed to blur as you both gave yourselves over to each other, the years of longing and heartbreak dissolving in the heat of the moment.

For the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself feel—completely, unapologetically, and without restraint. Niki made you forget everything but him, his touch grounding you while his kisses sent you soaring. And as the night stretched on, the walls you'd so carefully built around your heart began to crumble, leaving nothing but the raw, undeniable truth of what you've both been fighting all along: you were meant to find your way back to each other.

By the time the music awards came, your relationship with Niki had soared. Private, but not secret. For the better of your careers, for now at least.

The thunderous applause echoed through the arena as Enhypen's name lit up the massive screen behind the stage. They had just won the biggest award of the night—Song of the Year. Fans screamed, the cameras panned across the cheering crowd, and the members of Enhypen rose to their feet, hugging each other before heading up to the stage.

You sat in the audience, clapping politely, doing your best to remain composed despite the swell of pride bubbling in your chest. You avoided the cameras, knowing full well they’d zoom in on you if you looked too emotional. Niki caught your eye as he walked by, his smile quick and fleeting, but it was enough to make your heart stutter.

The group gathered on stage, their presence commanding as the arena quieted for their speech. Jungwon took the mic first, thanking their team, their fans, and their families. The other members chimed in, their voices laced with gratitude and joy.

Then the mic was passed to Niki.

“Wow,” he started, his deep voice carrying over the crowd. “This is… unbelievable. I don’t think there’s a word big enough to describe what this moment feels like.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about this moment,” he continued, his voice steady but laced with something deeper—something vulnerable.

“When we started, we never imagined we’d make it this far. There were so many times we doubted ourselves, so many nights we wondered if we were good enough. But we had each other, and we had you—our fans—to remind us to keep going.”

The crowd roared again, but Niki wasn’t done. His hand tightened on the mic, and his eyes scanned the audience, stopping for a beat when they landed on you. Your breath hitched.

“And there’s one more person I need to thank,” he said, his tone softening.

“Someone who believed in me even before I believed in myself. Someone who’s been an inspiration, a muse, a best friend, and…” He hesitated, a small, almost nervous smile tugging at his lips, “The love of my life.”

Gasps and cheers rippled through the crowd. The cameras swiveled immediately to you, who froze in your seat, your cheeks flushing under the bright lights. Your eyes widen a bit. The crowd cheered lowly at the sight of your beautiful appearance.

Niki's voice grew steadier, more certain, “Y/n, I know this might be the last thing you want right now, but I can’t go up here and pretend you’re not the reason I’ve made it this far. You’ve challenged me, supported me, and even when things were hard, you never stopped being my light.”

“I’ve spent so long trying to prove that I’m worthy of standing next to you. And now, I’m standing here tonight, on this stage, with this award, and I want the world to know that it’s because of you. Thank you, Y/n.”

Tears pricked your eyes as the entire arena seemed to dissolve into chaos. Fans screamed, the cameras fixated on you, and Enhypen's members exchanged wide-eyed looks with one another.

Your gaze locked with Niki's, and despite the noise, the flashing lights, and the million eyes on you both, it felt like you were the only two people in the room.

Niki stepped back from the mic as the crowd continued to roar, his lips curling into a soft smile meant only for you.

You flashed a pretty smile, a chuckle following after. Maybe it was the shock, maybe it was how thoughtful this was, or simply you just loved him so much that nothing else mattered.

The night ended with fans buzzing, headlines exploding, and Enhypen securing their place as not just award winners but as the center of one of the most iconic love declarations in recent history.

[i-dared-myself]

Heads

Hyunjin x reader

Requested ‘sequal’ of this.

In which your hopeless romantic blunders come to an end

18+

After another terrible date, you stumble into your apartment. You barely manage to kick your shoes off before you sink to the floor and cry.

Is there really no one decent out there? Why do your dates feel the need to point out your flaws? Why are they all such assholes?

You dump your purse next to the door, along with your jacket. It’s future-you’s problem, and future-you is going to call now-you a bitch.

You remove your makeup, and return to your living room. Turning on a stupid romantic film is what you need right now, so you do it.

You gather your pyjamas and bring them to your living room, peeking at the television. The love interest has the protagonist in his arms, and this is what you need in your life.

But alas, you only attract morons, apparently.

“I could offer you a deal.”

You whip around, shrieking in alarm. The man grimaces, covering his ears with his hands.

“Who the fuck are you?” you demand. Your eyes flick to the kitchen, where your knives are (obviously) located.

“Hyunjin.” He offers you a small bow, lips tugging up at the corners. His dark red hair falls around his face before he tucks it back, eyes glinting. “Love god, at your service.”

You stare at him in disbelief. “Really? Prove it.”

He seems taken aback, and frowns slightly. “Prove it? How?”

“I dunno.” You shrug and take a miniature step to the kitchen. “You’re the love god.”

Hyunjin rolls his tongue against the inside of his cheek, considering your words for a moment. “I don’t need this contract.”

“Contract? Are the you devil or a love god?” You snort and shake your head. As you feign amusement, you continue to shuffle backwards.

Hyunjin entwines his fingers behind his back, cocking his head. “I’ve been called both. And I don’t think I need to prove myself to you. You’re the one who’s lonely and unloved.”

You wince. “Harsh. Okay fine, what do you have for me?”

He chuckles, gliding forwards until his chest is a hair’s width away from yours. If you take a deep breath they would brush together.

“I can give you undying affection and passion unlike anything in those… tasteless movies.” Hyunjin flashes the television a look of disdain before returning his attention to you. He lifts a hand to lean it on the wall next to your head, leaning even closer. “What do you say?”

You swallow thickly. What he’s suggesting is everything you’ve ever wanted.

“And what do I have to do in exchange?” You gaze up, right into his eyes. They’re half-lidded and his eyelashes frame his gorgeous eyes.

“Nothing.” Hyunjin smiles wryly. His other hand is brought up to gently caress your cheek. “Just a small, teeny-tiny, little thing.”

“What is it?” 

His lips part to speak, and you barely hear the words coming out of his mouth. But you do. And they cut through the haze in your head.

“You have to play a bit of a game with me,” he simply says. “Doesn’t that seem like fun? Then you can have your happily ever after.”

“What kind of game?” you ask him warily as he spins around and drapes himself across your couch. The knife is forgotten and the only thing at the forefront of your focus is what he could give you.

“We flip a coin. If it’s tails, you get your true love. If it’s heads, you die.” Hyunjin looks smug and pleased with himself. He holds a hand up, and a coin gleams between two elegant fingers.

“I… die?” you repeat. Suddenly this doesn’t seem like such a good idea. 

“Well, there’s a chance you’ll survive.” His expression shifts and he looks away. He’s still toying with the coin. “Anyone I kiss dies. It’s ironic, considering who I am. The only one that can survive, is-“

“Death,” you finish. “Love-hate relationship with them? I get it.”

Hyunjin blinks. “What? No. Don’t interrupt me, either.”

“Sorry,” you mutter, not wanting to risk his wrath. Does he only kill people by kissing them? Or does he also stab them? Either way, you don’t want it.

“The only one who can survive is my true love.” Hyunjin curls his fingers to get you to approach, patting the couch next to him. “Ready?”

You hesitantly sit, watching as he flips the coin. It lands on the table and you both peer down at it.

“Heads,” Hyunjin croons, slowly raising his gaze to yours. He scoots closer to you as your heart sinks.

“Get it over with.” You sigh and cast a hateful look at the coin.

Hyunjin’s hand comes to the back of your head, cradling it gently. He pulls you closer to him, his grip firm and his lips soft as they lower to yours.

You kiss him back, because why not? You have nothing to lose at this point.

His head moves and his lips part. You accept his tongue slipping into your mouth as he guides you down until your back hits the couch cushions.

Then he’s hovering above you, eyes wide. You’re waiting for the inevitable end. The last thing you’ll see is his stupidly pretty face, and you can’t be mad about it.

“You’re not dead,” he observes.

“You’re smarter than you look,” you tease, mind reeling with what this means.

If you’re not dead, and he’s surprised at this fact…

“I’ve looked for you for so long,” Hyunjin whispers and buries his face against your neck. His teeth graze the skin there. “Can I fuck you, please?”

Your breath hitches. “What?”

“Please?” he begs. “I’ll make it so no other man can pleasure you. None of those shitty men will make you happy like I can.”

You hum. Maybe this a little hasty, but you’re just glad you’re not dead.

“Words, pretty girl.” Hyunjin lifts you into his arms.

“Yes, you can fuck me,” you tell him. Then you’re being dumped on a bed of smooth sheets. “What the-“

“This is my room.” He gestures around to your surroundings. There are paintings hanging on the walls and big windows that overlook… clouds? 

“Okay then,” is all you can say. 

Hyunjin grins and snaps his fingers, and then suddenly your clothes are gone. His have been removed as well, and he crawls across the bed to stare down at you.

“No other men are like me,” he promises silkily. A finger is plunged into you, quickly followed by another. You fist the sheets at the stretch, feeling him scissor them out.

“Please.” You grind down on his hand. “Please, Hyunjin!”

He coos and runs his hands through your hair. “Oh, you’re not cumming until I say.”

“Why?” You gasp as his fingers in your hair tighten and wrench your head up. “Hyunjin!”

“Face down, ass up, pretty girl.” Hyunjin manipulates you into the position he wants. He sighs heavily and tosses his head back. “Fuck, you’re so perfect.”

You moan as he enters you, squeezing around him. You claw at the sheets as he rolls his hips experimentally. “Just-“

He shushes you as he thrusts. Strands of his hair stick to his face. “Gonna marry you and everything.”

You squirm back against him. “Y-Yeah?”

“Mhm.” Hyunjin reaches down to circle your clit. “I’ll fill you up anytime you want. You’ll be like this every day, just for me.”

“Just for you,” you agree. You can feel yourself flutter around him as he continues muttering. You’re getting closer and closer.

Hyunjin forces your back into an arch, at just the angle he wants. This way, his thrusts hit the spot that makes your eyes roll back, and you’re babbling out pleas to cum. 

“I wanna see that face as you cum.” He presses harder to your clit, grinding hard against you. “I bet it’s just as pretty as the rest of you.”

Your mouth falls open as you fall over the edge. He works you through it, thrusts stuttering until he spills deep inside you.

Hyunjin pulls out, smiling at you gently. His hair frames his face as sweat shines on his body. “I’ll clean you up, then get you some water.”

You blink dazedly. “Sure. And cuddles.”

He stretches out, waving a hand to form robes on the both of you. “Anything you want, pretty girl.”

Tagslist:

@velvetmoonlght

[anghraine]

Sometimes I think about looking for SW content and then the first thing I see is "Padmé isn't really Leia's mother because of Breha" which is just ?????? in terms of the Lucas films.

Like, Padmé did nothing that would lead Leia to reject her. Dying is not a renunciation of her motherhood. When Leia is asked by Luke (who invariably identifies their birth parents as his parents) about her "real mother," Leia doesn't correct him but simply responds with a description of Padmé that, contextually, could only come from impressions via the Force that she mistakes as vague memories. Luke does not share these impressions; there is a special tie between Leia and Padmé. There's nothing wrong or improbable about Leia having feelings about that.

Breha is also Leia's mother, but this does not require Leia to reject Padmé nor make it probable for her to do so. And the conversation about Padmé in ROTJ just does not suggest a rejection from Leia at all.

I suspect that Padmé is basically being packaged in with Anakin, whom Leia has very good reasons to reject. But Padmé is not Anakin. Leia does not have to relate to them in the same ways and it doesn't seem at all likely from ROTJ that she does.

[shopwitchvamp]

Can't stop thinking about wanting to make a video game :[ Don't know how to make a video game :[[ Could I find the time and strength needed to learn? Perhaps. But something will have to give in return :\

[batemanofficial]

"jeff goldblum's vocals in wicked have audible AI tuning artifacts!! that's reprehensible!!" um. first of all that's autotune. pretty standard. and second of all that's not....that's just word salad. yes there is a lot of technology in cinematic post production that operates via machine learning but like. thats just how the tech works. it's not evil because you slapped an "AI" label on it. hiring some poor sap to tune jeff goldblum's raw vocal tracks like he's hatsune miku would not only be incredibly cost-ineffective but it would also be way worse in terms of energy consumption by the machines doing the tuning. not to mention that it would drive the audio editor insane. i think you guys just want to participate in a moral panic if you want my honest opinion

[mariocki]

Parasite (1982)

"That thing on your stomach..."

"A new strain of parasite. I deserve it, in a way. I created it."

"For the Merchants? Why?"

"I thought for the government. They're so mixed up with the Merchants now, they work for one another. This 'thing', as you call it, is growing. It's dormant now but it will soon grow larger... and kill me."

[void-tiger]

Trying to keep a lid on it but. Yeah. Literally don’t know what’s it like to NOT be platonically neglected IRL my whole damn life, only that I know this One Person doesn’t deserve to be at the epicenter of it anymore than I deserved to have been at the epicenter of theirs a year ago now.

…why am I like this. Why are we like this.

[gracebethartacc]

considering possiblyyyyy including the rest of the 7 teens in the rewrite in some capacity but like not as ashas friends but not as background characters either bc I wanna keep them as a group to some extent but not like acquaintances yk?? If that makes sense? my idea is maybe they can also work in the castle like dahlia does bc iirc shes the only one who directly works there but everyone else just kinda either bummed around or helped her out but that was kinda it?? So I’m considering maybe I could make them work in other parts of the castle so like I said they can be considered a group/collective bc they work in the same place but don’t actually hang out or anything ? But yeah idk shrugs it’s felt a bit odd for me to straight up have them not in it at all bc making them just bg characters feels weird bc aforementioned Simon and dahlia being ashas friends would be kinda out of place/pointless reference wise if you didn’t have all the dwarfs together in some form or fashion

so uhhhhh reason I’m making this post at all is bc I’d love to have any suggestions for like their jobs or thing they do etc

also yes this is just an excuse to include bazima bc I love her but won’t fit in the current group dynamic /hj

[flags-planes-and-fire]

Hey! I know you know a lot about the uruguayan accident in los andes so I wanted to ask.... I've heard the survivors hated the film Alive!, and I've also seen pictures of some of them on the set of the movie. What have they said about it?

The only responses I'm aware of (from the suvivors anyway) are that of Carlitos, Nando and Roberto, and I'm paraphrasing heavily here.

Nando actually worked on the film, and Carlitos was also on set for a little bit (There's a video of him talking to Bruce Ramsey), so I think their response was a mixed bag.

Similar situation with Canessa, I can't find the quote but he did talk about Alive! in his book, it was a little vauge but he seemed extremely neutral about it.

There have been many discussion, especially on Facebook regarding how the suvivors and the families of the dead felt about the film, and the feeling ranges from neutral to negative as far as I've seen.

Most of what I know comes from this documentary: Alive : A Survivors Documentary & Making Of

I know that a lot of the families of the deceased didn't approve for the use of their names, look at Vicent Spano's role for example, in the film he is called "Antonio", although if we're looking at reality, their captains' name was Marcelo Perez.

People like Numa's and Arturo's name's were also changed if my memory is correct.

I wish I could give you more information! But I really don't know, if I ever find out more I'll come back edit this post with the relevant information.

Again, sorry I couldn't really answer the question, your guess is probably as good as mine, thank you so much! x

[chiisana-lion]

get me out of here (final year group project meeting)

[patrocles]

sorting LB reviews from low to high on past lives to feel extremely validated about how incredibly boring and disappointing it was

[ambreiiigns]

Youve talked about some extreme movies youve watched and you say youre unaffected a lot but whats something that really messed with you up? Is there anything? What would you suggest to me as I have high tollerance too but would like to watch something heavy as a challenge :]

for what concerns suggestions i feel like it depends on what gets to you ? like it might be more psychological or it might be more body horror etc idk yk but. i really don't mean to be pretentious but. i can't think of anything that REALLY fucked w me ? like. i bring up melancholia 2011 dir lars von trier often it Did kinda get to me a bit it did give me a bit of depression for a sec it's very underrated in the sea of lars von trier movies that get the Disturbing reputation i find it more effective than ANYTHING else tbh the only other thing that maybe kinda comes close is antichrist but not as much.

martyrs 2008 is also Really something and it's def one of the better movies out of all the big deal Disturbing Movies you hear abt

if gore gets to you Do try the guinea pig series they slap

terrifier 2 has a scene that made me Flinch ! i've never flinched since. it's a good fun movie that i'd rec regardless but like. That scene. i think it's gotten pretty famous. it's not like fucks you up type BUT it's hard for me to flinch and i flinched so i thot i'd mention it xx

in the same vein. since tis the season. black christmas 1974 GOOD movie NOT traumatizing but the phone calls are a bit fucky and it Did give me can't-sleep anxiety Once really weird

ummm possession 1981 And audition 1999 same vibes they know how to make you uneasy and uncomfy

hhhghhgyggh i don't fuckinnnnn knowwww my man i don't get Affected i'll just be fine abt whatever i don't KNOWWWW like i guess just watch salò i don't KNOW!!!!

[cakebatteronabrickwall]

The four movie adaptations of Adler-Olsen's Department Q series genuinely have no right to be that good. I go back and watch them like once a year even though crime thrillers are absolutely not my thing. But the characters, writing and athmosphere are insane. Some of the most stomach turning, heartbreaking stories out there. Like, True Detective wishes it was Department Q.

[autisticlee]

spent hours looking for local groups/clubs/classes and there's nothing that fits all my needed criteria. not a single one. don't have energy or executive functioning or social skills to make my own group. only choice is to give up.

need to accept its impossible to make friends irl as am autistic adult. hasn't been possible in the last 12+ years since I dropped out of school. wasn't even possible while IN school despite how hard I tried!!! won't magically become possible because I sit here alone in my tiny dark room for years hoping that will change.

[haileys-out2]

I’ve been told to make this caption from one of my photos (yes this is me in the photo). I have no control over any of this, I’ve been told what tags to use and how long the post is to be pinned to the top of my page. 😥

The post is up for three months (until June 8) and I am scared about how long I’ll get!!

P-p-please be nice. I d-d-don’t want my life ruined!! 😭😭😭

Update. If this post hits 100 REBLOGS I have to get a larger plug and dildo.

Update 2. You are all mean (specially @count-alta with your 20-odd reblogs)😤😭😭 I now have to get a larger plug and dildo. If it gets to 300 REBLOGS then I have to make a Discord server to show that I am in fact wearing the cage and plug 😭😭😭😭 this is getting both out of control and expensive

Update 3. It hasn’t even been a week. 😢😢 I’ve been instructed to add note milestones. I’ve only been given a couple for now but more will be added if any of you suggest something my dominant likes.

Update 4. I’m back from a brief hiatus from Tumblr while I settled into a new job, and I discovered that this post really took off. I now have to make discord (coming soon) and I’ve been given a new Reblog MILESTONE. If this post reaches 500 Reblogs I will have to start HRT. If it hits 1000 Reblogs then I have to find a man to fuck me on camera 😭😭😭😭. Please be nice.

Update 5: whelp it’s done. My Discord server is live

1500 notes: I have to keep myself hairless from the nose down.

1700 notes: Make an Amazon Wishlist and add 100 toys and clothes for anyone to buy. Anyone who buys them will get a free show with what they bought

1800 notes: my hair must be grown out

2000 notes: I have to resume my BambiSleeps regimen

2500 notes: Practice deepthroating the current sized dildo twice a week

2750 notes: I now have listen to Bambi sleeps every morning, afternoon and night on my days off

3000 notes: Sit on a 7-inch dildo 2 times a week for 30 min

3250 notes: I have to start using she/her pronouns

3500 notes: I have start wearing a bra everyday

3750 notes: Use a large plug now

4000 notes: I have to start an OF (ManyVids and webcamming as well once I find a better living arrangement)

4250: I have to film myself suck cock

4500 notes: i can only ever cum from anal

5000 notes: I can only wear androgynous clothing. Nothing overtly masculine

5100 notes: Sit on an 8-inch dildo 3 times a week for 30 min

5400 notes: Listen to Bambisleep hypno every time I do anal

6000 notes: edge with a Hitachi magic wand for 30 once a week

6500 notes: start using a ball gag whenever I do anal

7100 notes: Once a week I have to film myself anal training and share it to the discord channel

8000 notes: Sit on a 9-inch dildo 4 times a week for 30 min

8500 notes: I must listen to ALL hypno that is sent to me

9000 notes: The Hitachi edging session becomes twice a week

12300 notes: Clicker train myself to get horny to the thought of cock

13200 notes: Use an XL plug now

13500 notes: Only use 10-inch toys from now on sit on it 6 times a week for 30 min, once a week use a 12+ inch toy

15000 notes: I have to get either bottom surgery or an orchiectomy

20000 notes: I have to be spit roasted

25000 notes: I have to be the center of a Blow Bang

32500 notes: I have to be the center of a Gangbang 😳😳😳