#there are several topics where if you bring them up i wont be able to stop ranting about them

[1percentcharge]

rly appreciate ur review of poor things. genuinely don't see how so many have praised, i felt like I was insane when i saw how acclaimed it is

ugh thank youuuu lol i really cant stand that movie. I really just found it so boring how it went in circles for 2.5 hours and the comedy was so bad. oh no she said inappropriate thing at nice dinner! I must go punch that baby lol xd! and that stupid left field turn near the end when by that time I just wanted to leave the theater. it barely felt like it wanted to seriously engage with any of its topics. and just left such an awful taste in my mouth also that they made a second baby-brain woman and relegated her to a servant at the end of the movie.

Apparently in the book all the baby brain stuff is explicitly made up by Bella's husband? i feel like that changes so much...

[fandomfixationstation]

Warning: mention of death of a loved one.

Todays concept is MC gets a call that like their parental figure has died one way or another and this upsets them greatly because one, they aren’t there to help with anything two, the only people there to do anything are their siblings three, they considered said parent a angel or a blessing by god (optional/bonus points if said parents name means angel-)  They don’t say anything at first though they seem rather angry and now one can figure out why. then they hide and have a mental breakdown to cry in hopefully but unlikely peace.  now I shall write the response headcanons / scenarios or whatever I will do Update: well I didn’t write a scenario / short story bit for all of them because i ran out of energy to do so and then i never went back to it, though if anyone begs or askes nicely I could in theory maybe work something out. this was something self indulgent and was something i wrote to really get me out of a bad headspace.  Lucifer

He is the first one to realize something is wrong, especially if they aren’t a very angry person. 

probably doesn’t get to ask about what is going on because he is forced to deal with something else and rather quickly

though when people start inquiring where they went after lunch, finding it unlikely that they would randomly choose to skip class or something he makes his goal to find them.

Probably doesn’t take him long to find them after he starts looking. gets it in the first three guesses of where they are hiding.

“why are you hiding here with Cerberus?” Lucifer said with a bit of amusement. he figured he would find them here with his dog. just not curled up and cuddling. 

“wouldn’t you like to know” was all they uttered out, having no real energy to argue, or fight. though it was clear they had been crying their eyes out. 

“well something is clearly upsetting you, why not talk about it. nobody else is here to listen in” Lucifer offers to lend an ear to listen to their problems. he was also hoping that by doing so he could get to the root of the problem and deal with it. expecting that he was going to have to knock one of his brothers into line again. 

“I just received some bad news. that’s all. also, I’ll be otherwise located Friday, so like, don’t worry if I’m not around on Friday, I will be back like Saturday, so there is that” They explain, clearly not wanting to get into the details of the so called bad news.  

“otherwise located?” Lucifer inquired as to what the hell they meant by that. 

“yeah, um, I will be visiting - visiting the human world for the day.” visiting might not be the word they were looking for but it was the word they went with nonetheless. 

“your visiting the human world?” Lucifer was surprised to say the least. especially considering he wasn’t hearing about this till now. 

“yeah, i was talking to Diavolo not long ago to make sure it was alright” with a sigh the were back to melting into the side of the dog. 

“normally you are excited to visit the human world, what happened” lucifer wanted to get to the root of the misery they were feeling and he wasn’t gonna sweep this under the rug.

“for fuck sakes, you really aren’t gonna leave me alone till I say it huh? my parent fucking died. are you fucking happy, lucifer? Jesus Christ.” doing everything in their power to hold back a second wave of tears as they add on “my blessing of a parent died. can we drop the topic now?” they said clearly not wanting to hear anything come out of lucifer's mouth as they hardly give him the chance to speak. 

“ah, I see, my condolences” Lucifer was trying to figure out what to say at the same time he was trying to figure out how to cheer them up or at least make them more comfortable. “do you want some Kleenex? how about some water?” lucifer inquired simply.

“water would be nice.” they let out a sigh. 

“im sure your parent was a lovely person. I think it is safe to assume that they’ll end up somewhere where they are safe and happy” Lucifer states simply as he holds a hand out to them to help them to their feet.

“I have no doubts about it. so you don’t need to tell me twice. it just. . . hurts” They says rather quietly. Accepting lucifer’s hand and pulling themself to their feet. 

”go take a seat in my office, no one will bother you in there. I’ll join you soon enough with your glass of water.”  Mammon

This man probably thinks he did something wrong, spends half the day trying to figure out what he did

if its not that he is trying to figure out who pissed them off and who he should be yelling at.

he hates to admit it but he doesn’t like seeing them angry or upset. 

is probably gonna be first to realize that they slipped of to somewhere and start trying to find them right away. 

after checking a few other areas, Mammon finally considers they might have just gone home to hide. knocking on their door and slowly opening it mammon calls out into the room “Oi, human are you in here?”. 

“Go away Mammon” they were heard but very muffled as they had encased themselves in several blankets, clearly sounding like they were crying. unless they choose to eat gravel or something. 

“what’s got you so bumbed out?” Mammon said fully entering the room now know that they were in the room and completely ignoring their request to go away. 

“I said go away, I don’t want to talk about it” They said pulling the pillow to their head in hopes to block out more of the world. so that they didn’t have to look up and face the fact they were a hot mess. so mammon didn’t have to see them like this.

“no! the great mammon isn’t leaving till you say what's bothering you! that way I can fix it for you!” Mammon declared boldly. goofy grin on his face hoping that his optimism would help cheer them up. 

“you can’t fix this. you cant bring back the dead. well unless you use necromancy, but. that's never worked out” They had let out a dry laugh for saying all of this. but now they were holding back tears trying to not cry their heart out for a second time.

“oh human...” Mammon was at a loss of words, though to be fair he didn’t get the time to form a full sentence. 

“I’ll never get them back. they were practically an angel” they sniffled, trying to not sob. “my parent died mammon. what the fuck am I going to do?” they didn’t really expect an answer from mammon. 

“Listen here, the great mammon will deal with all the technical talk, and will make sure you can go to the human world long enough for you to do what you need to. but till then and maybe after, I’ll be here for you.” mammon explained simply. 

after letting out a chocked sob they reached out a hand and grabbed onto mammon's arm. “thank you” they sobbed out. mammon just sat there and patted the blanket pile gently trying to give as much comfort as he could. 

“do you want a hug?”

“please-”

Leviathan

since he hides away and does online classes (Correct me if im wrong) he might not even realize something is going on

unless he messages them and doesn’t get a response. 

will ask if the others have seen them and like will try to figure out where they were last seen.

eventually puzzles together that something is wrong and he should look for them

Satan

He although wrathful himself, isn’t able to see through the anger and might be a little annoyed about them for being so.

though he does understand that there is probably a reason for them being upset. he’ll do his best to figure out what caused them to act this way.

he’s stubborn and straight forward, he’ll probably be direct and ask what is wrong and wont leave till he gets an answer.

or he might occasionally bring it up and keep getting updates with how their doing kind of thing.

doesn’t really have to seek for them when they hide away because he watched them slip away and got worried and followed them

Asmodeus 

he is very quick to realize something more is going on, something more than meets the eye. 

probably doesn’t directly do anything at first other than same some sugar coated words in hopes it cheers them up.

when that doesn’t work, he gets very worried and tries to convince them to do somethings to ‘take your mind off of things’ 

knows exactly where to look to find them. first try!

Beelzebub

one of two ways, he either doesn’t notice anything for the first little bit, or he has a strange feeling nagging him that something is wrong and he tries to figure out what.

once its clear that they’ve disappeared he is quick to start looking, might take a while to find them because he is gonna check everywhere to find them.

bear hugs no questions asked, will try to comfort to the best of his abilities. 

will ask them what they want to do after a while to see what he can do to make them feel better

Belphegor

tbh honest probably knows something is up right away. 

with either avoid it entirely or bluntly ask what is wrong

if he doesn’t get a direct answer or is shooed away he doesn’t have the energy to push for the truth, might be a bit annoyed.

once he hears that they have gone missing it probably wont take him long to find them. 

will sit down next to them and be like ‘now will you tell me what is wrong?’

Solomon

since he doesn’t have the same amount of time with them he may not notice at first. or he does notice ASAP because holy shit what happened why are they so mad.

might try to inquire what is wrong and like use his natural charm to try to cheer them up. 

when he hears they are lost or missing ect. he uses magic to find them as quickly as possible. 

will do a bunch of considerably silly and goofy things trying to get them to smile or laugh before trying to get them to talk about whats bothering them

Simeon 

doesn’t take him long to figure out something is wrong, just one look and he knows

but other wise, he’ll simply ask if you want to talk about it. when bluntly rejected he’ll leave them alone

they go missing during the day? maybe it was worse than he first realized, he’ll go looking for them.

will find them within the hour, maybe a half hour if he’s lucky. 

mans will try to comfort them any way he can.

_____________________________________________________________ sorry, for not doing Diavolo, luke and barbatos, i just didn’t really have the time to do them nor could i figure out how to do ones for them so like aihogdsifh sorry. but i do hope you enjoy this post nonetheless. 

[skaldish]

Heya! I‘ve spent my morning reading through your website and low-key your blog here and wanted to say that the way you describe Loki feels so weirdly familiar? like him being your Mad Muse resonated in a way with my experience as an artist that is somewhat similar to yours which got me thinking. some ideas or concepts come seemingly out of nowhere and get stuck until i get them out and many of them are to do with the human condition but also gender and living the true self kinda? but more like these characters feel actually alive and thus not wanting me as an author or painter to control them but to observe and conserve these observations. it often feels like a swirling mass of chaos in my mind with me racing behind trying to grasp what i see/feel (its all really vague and words are more feelings of the essence of whats said.)

If i understand correctly You often make a distinction between chaos and his trickery (i am so sorry in advance for possible weird-wording things, or completely misunderstandig you >.< english is my 2nd language) and for me personally, i delight in chaos and trickery, though not in a hurting others way, more in a good hearted fun for the shits and giggles kind? but i love chaos in the way i love a symbol, since chaos for me means change in a rather radical way but without any judgement. Things change and get chaotic but chaos itself feels more like possibility?

I have a bonus Loki-Story for you: one time he (i assume) probably annoyed a busdriver with a red light and i caught my bus after asking any god willing to help me catch that bus (it was urgent lol). I was so out of breath but the second i could breathe properly again i asked who to thank for the red light and i kid you not, i drove by a wall with a graffiti that simply said: Loki. made me chuckle ugly but i gave him the best part of my steak never the less, gotta say thanks!

There have been several of these happenings with other gods (Thor and Odin mainly but i caught a whiff of freya once while baking i think?) so now im at the point where i feel i should finally listen. Though i know nothing about working with the gods or magic ive always felt a pull to runes and even got an engraving set to make some myself.

After reading your introduction about deity work i kinda confirmed what i thought regarding knowing the basics of magic (mainly i wont use runes or magic until i know how to do it safely with warding and shielding, which brings me to my question:

Do you have any open source or freely online available sources for learning the basics of magic and getting familiar with deity work? (possibly even for absolute total beginners who boarder on dumb - hello adhd) Like how to shield/ward yourself and your house and how to cleanse. Same with sharpening the clairsenses. It sounds kind of easy when reading but when i try to actually do that i feel helpless and dont know where to start or what to do :(

I often see these things stated (on your page and in the asks you answer but also on any site regarding these topics as well.Saw this also on sunnyway when tring to read up on runes) but never really explained in a way thats friendly for beginners, and when i try googling (i am chronically out of moneys so i guess that has to do with it) all that comes up is wicca related stuff that makes me feel icky (the norse gods are generally the only pantheon and norse religion mostly the only religion that doesnt feel icky to me but that might be my catholic upbringing? the norse gods feel so healingly friend-shaped that it spooked me for years but im staring to fall in love with that. i do get its not always like that but having a kind of mutually respectful relationship with the gods is kind of all i wanted when i grew up). Im also too new i guess to be able to discern between norse practicioners and white supremacists and dont want to end up on a nazi page and learning from them :/ (Here in germany i mostly saw nazis and white supremacists wearing norse symbols which i guess kept my spanish-libanese-migrant ass away from norse paganism for so long bc i thought theyre the only ones who practice it and i really do not like the fuckers)

Thank you in advance if you decide to answer this! (And i apologize for the sheer length of this ask!!)

Sorry this took me so long to get back! If I’m not mistaken, you’re basically asking how to move from “theory” to “practical application” with paganism, magic, and spirit/deity work.

I had to sit with this for a while because I couldn’t think of an easy answer to your question, and maybe an easy answer simply doesn’t exist. For me, everything I know and everything I believe in was built upon a combination of a few things:

Introducing myself to different branches of magical theory and trying different things, even stuff that wasn’t Norse.

Familiarizing myself with MANY different spiritual and religious practices; how they work, their ethos, their worldviews, their metaphysical philosophies, and how they differ from one another.

Finding a reputable community of actual advanced pagan practitioners who gave me the tools I needed to rely on myself and helped me troubleshoot specific things.

Identifying how my clairsenses and magical tendencies manifest and working them out like a muscle, using Tarot to help confirm or refute my interpretations of experiences.

Learning to trust myself and my judgements.

Learning what bad communities look like.

Learning what Nazi-coded language looks like.

Learning what healthy relationships look like.

Trying things and learning from both my mistakes and successes.

This stuff takes months to identify and years to cultivate, and honestly the only way to do figure it out is to expose yourself to it.

One resource I started with that IS free would be Oven-Ready Chaos by Phil Hine. This is a PDF you can google and download that introduces you to the basics of Chaos Magic. Even if you’re not a chaos magician, it provides some good metaphysical philosophies that can be applied to basically any eclectic practice. This book was also the first time magic was presented to me in a way that made a damn lick of sense.

But that’s all I really have for you, unfortunately. Someday I hope to write more about this process of magical/pagan development, but I’m not at the point where I know enough about it to do so.

[thoughtfulpaperback]

Spoilers!!!! Charmed 02x04

Okay yall. I love this episode, but this one is actually my least favorite so far. I have a couple of, not concerns, but more than nitpicks, about some things this episode. Overall I'd still give it a 7/10. It was paced well and the added lore was top notch so far and cant wait for more. Anyways, again I will start with things I liked, then move on to the things I didnt, and end with some highlights.

Likes:

1. Mel! Overall Mel is a champ and even though she had big romance storylines, and they developed her character in small ways throughout the first season, I still felt we need more Mel. This episode not only did a good job if staying true to the mel that was built in season 1 but adding onto her. Mel seems to detest the idea of uselessness or at least of being powerless. Which makes sense not only as a minority and a woman but as a lesbian. She grew up not having to hide and with a mother who basically told them they were powerful strong and could do anything. Which is wonderful, but breeds that room for those types of insecurities.

2. Hacy

So actually not that much big hacy moments in comparison to previous episoded, but I love how they are the two interrogating abby and the moment they shared with the safe word.

That said I also didn't like the need for one when Macy said she would just know. Although I argue that the fact she even asked for the safe word was because she knew. Because she tells her sisters to go, trusting him, before she looks onto his eyes. Then when he leans in to touch her and orb them out, either she is put off by the over enthused smirk (he was too happy for the situation) or she wanted to get a look into his eyes. Because if you look at her facial expressions as she is looking into her eyes she seems to doubt that he is Harry and then asks for the safe word before he orbs them out.

I also think they missed a hacy opportunity when he warns Macy to be careful

Harry: she's half demon

Macy: so am I

Harry: but you are you

I'll explain further in the disliked section

4. Maggie and Jordan. Okay so I really like these two together. Hold up though. I like it as a slow developing relationship. Jordan is in a different life stage than Maggie imo. If he were single and went after her immediately or they started a romance I wouldnt like that. Him having someone and Maggie growing up and them building a solid friendship first is what I am here for. I'll talk about her powers later. What I was curious about was the ring on Jordand finger since the camera focus for a bit on his hand when he mentioned his family. I hope he doesnt come from a line of witch hunters or turns out to be some sort of creature later on. I mean on one hand that would be cool and a twist, especially if he remains the same (like doesnt change into a villian just turns out has some history) because I feel like it would be a way of doing the Galvin family history right. I mean I think that is what I enjoyed about Galvins storyline, him being able to help out because of his family history. But they didnt do much with it given the limited screen time. So if they could do something similar with Jordan and give it appropiate attention I would love it. But if they tried to use it for drama I wouldnt because it would be too much like parkerita. Let maggie grow up and have a healthy mature relationship without deception and scary families involved!

5. Dark!Harry as a Darklighter and a Hunter

So I mean we still don't know exactly what darklighters are. I mean we know that they are part of the whitelighter (one person split in half) but we dont know if the elders trained them for a specific purpose. I mean Darry got fighting skills and some resourcefulness. For to come from no where, but the fact he is after powerful beings (so far we dont know exactly why) and he has a connection with Harry is really interesting and has so many possibilities moving forward and I especially love the further similarities is draws to Macy.

Harry (unlike macy) has been split in two he has lived with this unknown part of him that differs from everything he was taught and believed about himself. Like macy this side of him appears to be "evil", although I have a feeling is probably more complicated than that since it obviously is for Macy. So harry has this "dark side". Which will be interesting if they ever have to or can merge the two.

Right now it appears that Darry has nothing to do with the Demon wars (unless you believe he and abby are working together).

Now onto dislikes:

1. Abby. Hold up y'all! I actually love this villainess. I just have some concerns about her background. And also have some thoughts about her possible future role.

So I love that she wants to bring down the patriarchy of the demon world. Her being Caine seems unnecessary, and brings up some questions.

Why didn't Parker ever mention her? He mentioned Hunter. She knew about him. So it would seem a fair assumption that Parker knew about her.

I don't mind adding lore to the previous seasons as long as they make sense. So far what they have added doesn't negate what was established last season (season 1 contradicted itself a couple of times), but with Abby as a Caine they will have to make double sure they don't add anything that would contradict season 1.

Abby as bisexual. Like I love when shows give some bisexual representation! But I am always weary when bisexuals are the villians and they are the only bisexual characters in the show. I am not bisexual, so I can't really say whether the show is doing this well or not well. It is just something I try to be considerate of and so when it happens I am always a bit nervous about it.

2. The Vera-Vaugh sisterhood (mostly on Macy's part). Okay so I am treading lightly on this topic and also would like to point out that I am coming at this from my Latina perspective. But I feel that Macy sees her place and he relationship with her sisters from the "Good Mexican" perspective. Meaning she does crave that connection to her sisters but also views herself as the other. More so she view her sisters as thinking over her as "the good half demon" and for Macy that isnt enough. It still feels like a rejection of part of her. Which in some cases is, but I think for her sisters it isnt that way at all. They dont view her as "a good half-demon" they see her as Macy and as thier sister. But I feel that since Macy, given how she grew up and the insecurities we know she has from season 1, isnt getting the memo. She now knows that her sisters actually love her and will stick with her, but she no longer is craving acceptance, she wants understanding and commonality. Which for her, her sisters cannot give her not just because they are different but because they view the situation differently.

Abby is playing to that so well. I was upset that Macy would reveal the way she got her demon side. It seems not only like a bad move as far as trusting someone you claim not to trust but also just common sense given that I would thing you wouldnt want other demons knowing how to create more demons from humans. Anyways, abby's line of having more in common with each other was pretty brilliant given the little amount of time she has spent with any of them.

I think it is possible, from the patriarchy conversation, that Abby eventually would try to recruit Macy to join her in trying to take over the demon world. That said I am not sure so far if Abby would actually like to share power with anyone. We still dont know much about her character. So her development moving forward will be interesting.

Moving back to the sisters. I think if moving forward the show would do little things to address the issue it would help not only to further build the relationship between the sisters but the power of 4. Things like the line I added between Macy and Harry would show Macy that they are seeming the situation differently. It wont allieviate What Macy is feeling or the fact she still has to figure out what exactly it means to be a half demon or if it does have meaning out side the societal implications.

3. Whitelighter lore. Don't come for me! I love the added lore. I just have some nitpicks.

Alpha. So if the first whitelighter was from Salem then how is there and Egyptian hieroglyph for a whitelighter? Unless the elders just to a hieroglyph and decided to make that one the one for whitelighter? ("Hey what's that" other elder: "I combined two hieroglyph want to use that for our new whitelighters?" First elder: hell yah!)

Okay so if these two are one person made into two and are connected. Then how connected are they? I mean I assume we will get more detail as the show progresses so I am not made about it, but the alpha is always kept near the split part. So in the beginning was it that they couldnt be too far apart or else something bad would happen? Or is it that what happens to one happens to the other. Dark!Harry tried to kill Harry so we could assume that that isnt the case because it would be a death sentence for both (unless dark!harry didnt know and just lucked out be the fact that Harry and him are now immortal because Harry's tie to the elders was severed). Lots of questions regarding what exactly dark!harry knows or doesnt know.

4. Maggie's powers. Dont get me wrong, I love the foresight and its relation to premonitions and Marisol, but it is gonna need some careful explaining. They established that witches are traced through these powers and that the sisters were stripped of them. So then what is this foresight? It cant be a part of her old powers because those were stripped. But if this is a new power can it be used to track the sisters? Or is it something else? A power but unrelated to the powers and triggered by an outside agent (not necessarily a person). Will Mel start to develop new powers as well or again is there something going on with Maggie?

Highlights:

Mel chugging like a champ!

Maggie's constant touching of Jordan when trying to trigger her new powers. Not awkward at all Mags...

The satisfied look on Darry's face when he is about to orb Macy and him out (I still cant believe the girls werent suspicious of how Harry found orbed to them when none of them called for him)

(I was gonna give credit to the gif maker and had written down who it was but lost the paper and cant remember which of the people I saved this from. So if this is your gif let me know! So I can edit and give yah the credit you deserve! Sorry about that! If I find the paper before yah recognize the gif I will edit)

Abby's recount of being attacked by Darry. I was enjoying the steaminess.

Anyways that's all on my part! Comment, send asks or message me, if y'all want to discuss something I mentioned or didnt mention about this episode or the series in general! Not looking forward the the inevitable break that will occur but cant wait for episodes 5 and 6!

[bubble-tea-bunny]

fire and powder

[draco malfoy x reader]

author’s note: 7 rings is a banger and i listened to it on repeat while writing this(((:

word count: 4,051

It’s a cloudy and overcast morning when rumors of a potential new student begin to circulate. Excitement about new students wasn’t out of the ordinary, but there was, ordinarily, a time and place for it. That is to say, at the start of each term, when the Great Hall is buzzing with anticipation and each house’s table has several seats open and waiting for its newest members. By the middle of the year, everyone is settled and integrated, and life continues on as normal. But the circumstances of this hearsay, which quickly finds its footing when a student gets it confirmed by a professor and proceeds to tell his friends, who then tell theirs, and so on and so forth, aren’t ordinary at all. The person in question is a transfer, and will be joining Hogwarts halfway through the year. An interruption to the routine and some might even say the bland, for it can only be expected that life would become a little dry as the studies and exams dragged on. One supposes, then, that it’s no wonder word spreads like a fire so wild that the rains just now beginning to pour could do precious little to quell it.

No one actually knows when the new student will be arriving, only that they will, in time. Dumbledore doesn’t address it but everyone already knows that he knows that they know. One evening before dinner he grabs their attention to make some announcements, and silence fills the hall almost immediately. There’s a twinkle in his eye like he’s about to mention the topic they’ve all been achingly curious about, but he never does, instead reminding them about their approaching mid-term tests. A collective sigh of frustration at being left in the dark sweeps through the room.

By the time they learn anything more, their newest classmate is already there. Enough time had passed that most had calmed down and forgot about it, and as such, the creaking of the large doors granting entrance to the castle during dinner, able to be heard even over the chatter and clanking of silverware, catches everyone by surprise. Heads lean to get a better view of the threshold where you stand with Dumbledore and McGonagall. You’re pulling along a trunk as they lead you along. What they say to you can’t be heard, but it’s no doubt a quick orientation about your new school. They lead you down the corridor, and you disappear from sight. It’s the last they see of you for the remainder of the night.

The atmosphere is more relaxed when midterms are over, and the Great Hall is slow to fill in the mornings as some students choose to sleep in. You’ve not had any exams, but you do linger in your own dormitory, still tired from your long day of travel the day before. As such, when you finally come down for breakfast, the hall is mostly filled. In contrast to dinner, the talk is calmer and quieter, evidence of fatigue and a general sense of relief that all the tests are done (until finals anyway, but that was a different story, and a far one yet). It lowers to a hush when you turn into the room.

You were sorted in Dumbledore’s office, and by that point, the only ones to know where the Sorting Hat had placed you besides the professors was the rest of your house, since they would’ve met you when you came through the portrait hole. Now, as you walk in, everyone can see for themselves, and the light of day filtering in makes it nigh impossible to mistake the silver serpent on your cloak for anything but. All at once the small billow of the edges of your robes kicked up by the breeze of your purposeful steps seems sinister, and the sway of your ponytail seems to spell trouble.

The four houses and the attitudes of their members aren’t often so black and white. Most students find themselves in the middle, teetering between two, and the slightly stronger inclination wins out in the end. It’s not always obvious at first glance to which house a person belongs, and it’s merely the insignia on their chest and the colored lining of their cloak that give it away. Sometimes there are Gryffindors who appear to be the farthest thing from brave until the right moment strikes. Sometimes there are Slytherins not nearly as mean as one is led to believe by the smirks and sneers of the majority. Some wonder where you fall, but it doesn’t last very long because soon the Slytherin Prince harbors a newfound interest in you, and you’re happy to be the center of his attention.

———

Draco and his cronies are giving a Hufflepuff a hard time out in the courtyard, and what he’s saying can’t be heard at this distance, but it certainly isn’t bound to be anything nice. Apparently you can hear it though, given you’re not as far, and what’s surely a scathing remark makes you giggle. Draco smirks at you and looks rather proud. The fact he likes making you laugh would almost be sweet if he weren’t doing it using such cruel methods. Maybe it was truly a match made in the less savory of places, because the student body has heard of your fair share of pestering and bullying of anyone unfortunate enough to land in your sights.

Ron’s eyes narrow as he studies the pair of you, and sighs when you return to speaking with your friends. “You know, I heard she was nearly put in Ravenclaw.”

“Yeah?” Harry, thankful for the distraction, for he’d been in desperate need of a break from his homework, looks from his book to his friend.

“Yeah.” Ron lets out a little laugh of disbelief. He’s trying to imagine you in Ravenclaw instead, but he’s not very successful. His mind can’t seem to reconcile the idea of you in a house that isn’t Slytherin. “I dunno how though.”

Hermione, who had for the most part remained uninvested in your journey of integration into Hogwarts, it bearing of no importance to her when there were more pressing matters to fret over, also tears her eyes away from the study guide she’s creating. “The Sorting Hat must’ve seen something and knew she’d be better off in Slytherin. She just needed the right person to bring it out of her.”

“No better person than Malfoy,” Ron mutters under his breath with a scoff. He hadn’t done a very good job hiding his infatuation with you from his two best friends, but perhaps it makes more sense to say they were an exception. They knew him too well, and they can tell his hopes of any sort of relationship with you were slowly crumbling. (Not that there was much hope to begin with—he hasn’t even spoken to you yet… and it’s doubtful if he ever would) It’s the smarter decision to stay away anyway. Your fangs glitter in the light if you angle your head a certain way, venom dripping from the ends, and no one’s eager to be bitten.

There had indeed been substance to the rumor you were almost placed in Ravenclaw, and Ron is far from the first to be skeptical. For the most part, it’s the Slytherins who understand why you ended up with them instead, since they’ve gotten to know you better (or know you at all, really). You’re smart, and you know how to get what you want. You could do it so well it bordered on the cunning, and upon this revelation the Sorting Hat had had no trouble figuring out to which side the scales tipped more.

You have a class starting soon, so you bid goodbye to your friends and trek across the grass to return to the castle. Ron seizes up when he realizes you’re heading their way, and he’d meant to say hello but he couldn’t even get that out (good thing, probably, since it might sound choked and that would be humiliating). Your eyes meet as you walk past, but you’ve no smile to give. You were a miser when it came to them. They’re stockpiled, hidden away, and rarely did you ever share them. Every stray glance caught was merely met with lips set in a straight line—apathetic, unfriendly, and thoroughly unimpressed.

Ron’s shoulders relax after you pass, and he stares after you, hardly noticing the wind flipping the pages of his book. “That wasn’t so bad.” He doesn’t exactly know what wasn’t so bad. You’d only walked by and hadn’t said anything. Perhaps it was expected that you might make jabs not at all playful towards anyone who looked too long, like Draco is wont to do, but it seems you’re better about holding your tongue.

Harry can’t help smiling in amusement as he gets back to his work. “You looked terrified.”

Hermione laughs, and Ron blanches. “Did I really?”

———

Everyone knows Professor Snape plays favorites, and in his pool of favorites are students he favors even more still. Draco is one such student, on the list and most likely at the very top. You found a place on said list quickly. Being in Slytherin already put you in his good graces, but you climbed the ranks firstly because of your knowledge of the material, well-read and participating during class to a degree that gave Hermione Granger a run for her money, and secondly because you’re closely associated with the house prince himself.

Fleeting glances on your first few days turned into being on the same side, Draco with one of his friends and you with yours, and then into you always sitting at the same table, claiming the left one in the third row. You seemed to pay attention more to each other than the lecture most days, and at the start, Snape had (half-heartedly) interrupted you and quizzed you on what he was talking about. Of course, you always answered correctly, not that it had been too difficult a question, and after a few instances of that, he left you well alone. To be fair, you hadn’t been particularly disruptive or bothersome. (The Gryffindors on the other side of the classroom becoming irked that you were so easily let off the hook don’t count.)

The two of you are intimidating in your own respects, but together, the menace is magnified. If people hadn’t kept a safe distance before, they were now, not fond of getting burned. There’s a new title bestowed upon you that makes its rounds, and admittedly you’re one of the last to hear of it, but when you finally do, your eyes sparkle. Out in daylight, the twinkle might make you look affable. But in the low lighting of the Slytherin common room, it looks the shade of mischievous it’s meant to be.

It’s got a nice ring to it, your friend Meredith had remarked, breaking your focus on your book, which annoys you a little, but you brush it off. Slytherin Princess. You set your novel down and look at her with a small smirk. She seems more thrilled about it than you do, and she definitely notices. It prompts her to ask why you aren’t as excited. It’s your title after all. Exactly, you’d responded. My title. Why should I be surprised that I’ve ended up with what I deserved to begin with?

Your new name only serves to increase jealousy in some of the other girls of your house. The feelings of envy sprouted when you and Draco took to one another like a duck takes to water, and had only grown from there. You won’t ever say that you’re hanging on his arm, and you cast sharp glances at anyone who dares to say as much, sharp enough to make them bleed. It implies you’re lesser, and that’s not the case at all. You’re equal. Draco understands that, and it’s clear that’s the way he wants it too, judging by his simper and half-lidded gaze of adoration whenever he should look at you.

A day trip to Hogsmeade sees you in the white dress with beige buttons from Twilfitt and Tattings’ newest collection. “You look good in white,” Draco comments, coming up behind you where you were waiting for him on the front steps.

“Thank you.” You smile sweetly, and in the few seconds spent staring at each other, Draco can see in your eyes the answer you almost gave instead but hadn’t, deciding to just accept his compliment. It didn’t matter in the end anyway because he could tell what your almost-response was without you having to say it: l know I do.

He chuckles like you did in fact say it aloud, his arm wrapping around you to bring you close. Your little yelp of surprise is quickly silenced as he bends down to kiss you. It’s short, for you’re not keen on everyone watching something so intimate, and you pull away. A bit of your lipstick had transferred and the corner of his mouth is now accented with a patch of deep red, and you let out a quiet laugh as you reach up to wipe it away.

The cloak you wear for school conceals most of your finer movements, but without it now, the elegance with which you hold yourself is clearer. It’s simple to tell you’ve trained and taken classes, for it’s rare that one is born with such natural taking to refined decorum, and it must be ingrained and practiced with pinpoint precision. You’ll be honest: this is one of the aspects where you aren’t actively trying to inspire jealousy. This is just how you’ve learned to act, but if other people did get jealous, well, that’s just a bonus.

One such person makes known her vexation in the common room that evening after returning from Hogsmeade. You’re not sure if Poppy’s trying to be subtle at all while conversing with her companions, but even if she had, you still overhear. Slytherin Princess… It comes out a hiss, and it’s the warning of incoming conflict that prompts you to focus on her voice amidst the others. She might as well wear a tiara while she’s at it.

“That’s a really good idea.” You don’t hesitate to reply, voice raising so she can hear you across the room. You paused halfway to the stairs, intent on going to your room, but she was dangling such good bait and you couldn’t resist taking it because you knew you’d win, pulling in bait and hook and all into the water. “I think I will.” You follow up your remark with a grin. It’s nothing but knives.

———

You’re about to enter Professor Snape’s classroom, but a hand curling around your wrist stops you short. Twisting around, you meet the bright eyes of your boyfriend. Your own narrow in turn because you know he has something to say.

“Let’s skip Potions,” he declares.

“What?” The idea is foreign to you. You don’t skip classes, and you’d especially hate to miss Potions. It’s one of your favorite lectures.

“C’mon, we won’t be missed.”

You purse your lips, close to saying no. But his eyes are hopeful and it’s actually a little endearing. You’re wondering what brought on the suggestion, and it’s this curiosity that finally causes you to acquiesce. “Okay.”

Draco’s hand slides from your wrist to your hand, and he curls his fingers in the spaces between yours before he pulls you along, the throng of students on their way to class parting smoothly. You can read the eagerness in his body language, and you smile. What does he have in mind?

“Where are we going?” you inquire, for he seems to be walking with purpose and you can’t begin to guess where he’s bringing you. The common room is in the other direction, and you assume he wants to go outside (it’s a nice day), but you go right by a door leading to the courtyard.

He doesn’t answer right away, and he turns a corner, opening a door to a room you can’t see from this angle. One strong tug from him causes you to stumble forward, and you collide with him, the door quickly sliding shut behind you. It’s a broom closet. “The broom closet? But why—”

You don’t get the rest of the sentence out before he’s on you, lips searing and sure to leave scorch marks on the tender skin of your own. It takes a moment for your shock to wear off but then you’re meeting his enthusiasm in equal measure, arms wrapping around his neck and standing on the tips of your toes for better reach. His arms snake around your waist, mouth departing from your lips to trail down to your neck. The forceful movements knock you slightly off balance and you fall back to the shelf behind you, rattling the supplies on it. You giggle and can feel Draco’s grin against your skin. Your laugh turns into a gasp as he nips at a sensitive spot.

When he pulls away and stands at his full height and you have to tilt your head back to look at him properly, your eyes are hazy, and you know that’s why he’s smirking so widely. He then gives you the answer to your previous question. “I need a bit of good luck for today’s match.”

Oh, that’s right. Slytherin is playing Ravenclaw today. You smile and shake your head playfully. That’s not the actual reason for his hiding away in a broom closet with you, because he hadn’t ever done this prior to a game. The typical form of good luck you gave was a kiss before he left you to join his teammates in the locker room. This was just his excuse, but you can’t say you mind. “Good luck, huh?”

“Yeah.” Draco’s gaze is impish and he kisses you a few times, your lips already starting to swell, a picture of disarray coupled with your cloudy eyes and messy hair from where he’d tangled his fingers in it. “You’ll cheer me on from the stands won’t you?” he murmurs, lips brushing against yours.

You hum in confirmation. “Of course.” You let out a little shriek of surprise when his cold hand sneaks beneath your shirt and you cover your mouth, wondering if anyone heard you. Draco laughs, and it’s not long until you join him. However, it does seem someone had heard, because there are hasty footsteps echoing in the hallway outside.

Draco voices who it is at the same moment you also realize who it could be. “Filch.”  

He takes your hand again and opens the door with the other, and the two of you run out and farther down the corridor. You glance back over your shoulder to see Filch. He’s looking toward the broom closet door which has closed with a thud, then looks to your and Draco’s retreating forms, putting the pieces together quickly. He scowls, clearly displeased, but all it does is elicit a laugh as you turn the corner.  Mrs. Norris is perched on a window sill you rush past, and her lamp-like eyes follow you until you’re out of sight.

This route is beginning to look familiar; Draco is bringing you to the Slytherin dormitories. No doubt to finish the business that had been so rudely interrupted. Your suspicions are proven right when he brings you up the stairs and you take a hard turn into the boys’ side, marching straight to his room.

Slytherin wins the match. It’s a landslide victory.

———

The morning of the day you’ll all be loading up onto the Hogwarts Express to start your summer holidays is spent bringing down the trunks from the rooms and putting them onto the train. Once back in London, you wouldn’t be returning home right away. Your parents had given you permission to spend some time at Malfoy Manor (Draco tells you his parents are looking forward to meeting you). The last half of the summer is when you would go back to France, to spend the remaining weeks with your mother and father.

“D’you think they’ll move closer?” Draco asks as you step onto the train.

You shrug. “They’re probably considering it. There’s not much of a reason to stay in France anymore now that I’ve transferred here.”

You were one of the last to board, so most of the cabins are occupied. But neither of you is worried about finding a place. Your friends are bound to have saved spots, or if you wanted a cabin to yourselves, it wouldn’t be a problem kicking out whoever’s in there. Just because the term is over doesn’t mean people are any less intimidated. It’s a power, you’re sure, you’ll be high on over the holidays, and it’s a high that would last just long enough to make it to next year, where you’d have another several months to ensure no one would forget that little title of yours.

Speaking of which…

It’s incredibly good timing that there’s someone in the cabin you’re walking by that you want to talk to, and you slow to a stop. Draco only notices when your linked hands keep him from continuing farther down the aisle. He turns to you, brows furrowed in confusion. “I’ll find you, just give me a second.” You tip toe to kiss him, and his hesitation melts away.

He nods. “All right.”

You stand there for a moment watching him, only moving because someone behind you meekly says Excuse me and you stand to the side with a roll of your eyes you’re not entirely sure they caught but not caring if they did. A boy with bright red hair is the one who’d spoken, and he gives you a timid smile, though it looks more like a cringe if anything. He’s followed by his two companions, who flash polite grins that are more relaxed.

After they’ve passed, you open the door to the cabin on your left but don’t step inside, merely poking your head in. All conversation stops as you do. Poppy’s already looking at you, having noticed you and Draco kissing right outside thirty seconds ago. Good.

“I hope you have a good summer, Poppy,” you begin. “And thanks for the idea, by the way. You’re right: it adds a lot.” You point to the small tiara sitting on your head, crystals gleaming from the light of the sun pouring in from the window.  

You’d found it on a visit to Hogsmeade and bought it right away, and Draco had been highly amused (as well as unaware of your true reason for its acquisition). You had it stored away since then, and donned it for the first time today, because though you wore the name of princess with pride, you weren’t so impudent as to wear it regularly. An accessory of this sort is to be saved for certain occasions. Hardly appropriate for everyday wear (and not to mention bad taste to do so).

You smile charmingly, seeming so genuine that if anyone in this cabin had been unfamiliar with her disdain for you, they’d ask how she could hate you as much as she does. Not bothering to wait for a response, you back out and let the door slide closed on its own as you begin your search for Draco.

When you find him, he asks what you were up to, and you wave your hand dismissively. Nothing. Don’t worry about it. Then you kiss his cheek, a gesture of reassurance. He lets the matter go with a small smirk and a nod. The flash in your eyes is sinister and it’s what he likes to see, and while a part of him would like to know what you were doing, he’s content with just knowing you were stirring up some trouble.

“Maybe I should get a crown to match?” he muses, briefly glancing up at your tiara.

You laugh. “Maybe we’ll find one over the holidays.” That signals the end of the subject, and as the train departs the station, the two of you busy yourselves with trying to decide which sweets to buy off the cart.

[historyrepeatsitself]

modern au headcanons p2

hey guys, so after uhh everything crashed and burned as u can see from this post, i did not follow thru in good time with writing a modern au headcanon post… BUT!!! fortunately, i have returned from my semi hiatus to bring you… inspired by this OG post… httyd modern au headcanons part 2!!!

also sorry for the weird bullet points, i did this in microsoft word so the entire thing wouldnt fucKING DELETE AGAIN

·         so like i said with the last one, cami is obviously internet famous for her ridiculously cool youtube channel

·         shes also quite popular on insta but youtube is more her jam

·         her fame started when a video of her pickpocketing stoick and them him finding out and absolutely Losing It went viral

·         it was a vine

·         you can hear hiccup laughing in the background

·         her videos used to mainly feature pranks she did but since then shes branched out

·         she still does a lot of pranks but now her videos also include: parkour, absolutely HORRIBLE karaoke (ft. hiccup and fishlegs), Q&A, playing with toothless for an hour and thirty minutes (yes, it did get a lot of views ((also toothless is a cat in this au))), roast battle vs snotlout (spoiler: snotlout cries), “a compilation of hiccup doing nerdy shit and me calling him a nerd (8 min, 30 sec)”, “reading yalls fanfiction abt me (fishlegs has an asthma attack)”, videos of her doing sports, & more

·         like in the original hiccup and fishlegs have their own channel

·         its literally shit

·         they update it only on lethal amounts of caffeine

·         its usually VERY active during finals week (hence their not great grades)

·         it puts shane dawson to shame

·         “NOT CLICKBATE: OBAMA IS FROM THE MOON????”

·         “NEIL A IS ALIEN SPELLED BACKWARDS??? DID ARMSTRONG USE THE MOON AS A WAY TO FUEL UP BEFORE JUMPING BACK TO HIS COLONY ON MARS??”

·         “MY CAT IS NOT FROM EARTH (VIDEO INCLUDED!!!!)”

·         “got rejected again…. </3”

·         “video of fishlegs on sugar high after i gave him a bunch of candy bc he wouldn’t stop crying”

·         “kids from our school found us” (during the whole video theyre panicking while wearing wigs and fake mustaches)

·         needless to say its very confusing when someone connects that those guys are also on cami’s channel

·         shes pissed but comes around and they regularly star on her channel while she regularly stars on theirs

·         hiccup also has his own side channel where he explains different animal species (natural history stuff) and also does various language tutorials

·         fishlegs reads poetry and sings on his side channel

·         cami has a video where she reacts to hiccup’s channel, he actually gained a lot of followers from it

·         hiccup and fishlegs go to the same school while cami goes to an all girls school across town

·         she actually doesn’t hate it

·         hiccup and fishlegs are public school kids

·         that public school vibe

·         kids from their school are so confused how they know cami and rly jealous

·         cami once stopped by after school (her school gets out a little earlier) and punched a bully for them

·         it was iconic

·         she smacked him right in the face and hauled hiccup’s ass up and dragged them both in the car

·         cami is pretty popular at her school

·         hiccup and fishlegs are NOT

·         theyre honestly a bit like peter and ned from spiderman

·         gotta love that lego deathstar

·         cami does not like legos

·         both hiccup and fishlegs are smart but don’t put in a lot of effort

·         fishlegs excels at English and hiccup is good at science classes (esp bio) and history

·         fishlegs is ok at history but finds some of it a little boring

·         they HATE gym

·         theyre both shocked to find that cami (a dumbassTM) is actually a straight A student

·         shes super competitive so she actually does super well and gets rly rly good grades and all her teachers love her

·         she didn’t for awhile bc she has ADHD for school was HARD but shes gotten a lot better and got tutors and study methods and also shes just super competitive

·         she was on math team in middle school and hiccup wont SHUt Up about IT

·         “hey theres my favorite student mathlete!!!!!”

·         fishlegs doesn’t even try and help him anymore, he does this to himself

·         fishlegs wins English awards every year

·         he also got a 36 on his English ACT hes just SO GOOD

·         hes also a theatre kid lmao

·         he does shakespearean theatre on top of his school theatre too

·         “to be or not To Be”

·         Hiccups not a huge English fan and he doesn’t rly like Shakespeare but he does rly like Oscar wilde

·         Dorian gray is the Shit

·         Fishlegs was so happy when he read it bc they could finally talk about LiTeRaRy ClAsSiCs!!!

·         the trio met bc hiccup and cami’s parents own rival business companies

·         both stoick and bertha are very Rich and Important

·         hiccup and cami sometimes have to go to business dinners

·         they fuck around

·         that’s how they met

·         hiccup bumped into cami replacing the soap in the hand dispenser in the men’s room with silly string

·         he thought she was the coolest person ever

·         she tried to fight him at first but they quickly united against the Evil Boring Dinners With Stupid Old Men

·         they locked this one old racist dude in a bathroom stall once and sent fishlegs a video

·         truly forces of chaos

·         the forces of chaos were unfortunately grounded for that tho

·         stoick is very busy and valhallarama travels a lot so they hang out at hiccup’s bc its usually empty (cami’s house is also kinda far)

·         cami’s parents are divorced but her dad stops by occasionally

·         fishlegs has a foster family and that’s how he wound up meeting hiccup was when he moved to be with his new family when they were in second grade

·         hes rly grateful that hes been able to stay with them for a long ass time

·         theyre actually pretty nice

·         hiccup gets to come over for dinner

·         snotlout is hiccup’s bitchy cousin whos a grade ahead of hiccup and fishlegs

·         he eventually becomes nicer to them at the beginning of sophomore year

·         some bad stuff happens  (might write an angst fanfic idk lemme know (itll prolly be hiccup centric))

·         basically, snotlout kinda realizes hes been a bitch

·         hes sorry

·         things get better

·         until yknow

·         gotta keep things sad cant get rid of all the emo

·         but anyway snotlout does wind up becoming a good friend to the trio!! <3

·         oh lmao when valhallarama came home for Christmas she thought hiccup was either dating cami or fishlegs and she didn’t know which one bc hiccup was so shy she just figured he was dating one of them and just didn’t tell her (theyre all like super close yknow)

·         after seeing hiccup and cami holding hands (a RARE moment, it was bc they thought it would annoy snotlout bc he hates cami (it did)) she assumed it was cami

·         she brought it up

·         LMFAOOOO hiccup laughed for like 10 minutes

·         She then immediately was like oh ok ur gay and its fishlegs

·         that was even funnier

·         “mom fishlegs is weird lmao” (he and fishlegs probably friendly roast each other a lot tbh. they definitely call each other “weirdo” “freak” “nerd” other possibly explicit words, its chill)

·         Valhallarama is so confused

·         she didn’t say it but “child u literally told me that u thought ur little cat that’s missing teeth is prolly from area 51, ur the weird one son”

·         she asks stoick

·         hes just as confused

·         she drops the whole topic

·         it has yet to occur to bertha

·         fishlegs’ family is good as long as hes good theyre chill like that

·         oh and cami’s school has uniforms

·         yes, she does have to wear a skirt

·         yes, several of them were shredded freshman year

·         bertha is So Tired

[finalfantasyxivwritings]

Echoes of Mortality

AO3 Version

Relationship: Silence/Reader/Indulgence (OCs)

Rating: Teen

Summary: It's been a long time since the Lightwardens Indulgence and Silence have understood what it meant to be alive. Despite this, they've found feelings in but one fragile mortal who serves to remind them of who they once were, if only vaguely. It is through that mortal's kindness that they are anchored to the world anymore--and for them, the wardens would do anything to keep their mortal safe and happy

....even if it means they have to wait outside a city, allowing their mortal but a short excursion among their own kind.

More information: Silence (Samilen) | Indulgence (Khalja)

-

It’s late into the evening, though anyone may be hard-pressed to notice that by a simple glance up towards the sky. Where once-fabled darkness may have filled one horizon to the next, there’s nothing but washed out brightness that echoes across the thicket of ethereal clouds–it’s as bright as it would be at noon, with yet the only difference between the times being the mild chill on the air and a lack of people shuffling in the streets.

Despite the seeming freeze of time, mortals are yet stubborn to their habits.

‘I hate this.’

The words come unspoken from a form that stands under the eaves of a building, one of several that lay abandoned on the outskirts of the settlement, where next to nobody would think to travel–especially not when so many sin eaters were readied for any excuse to hunt. The form is humanoid, but it’s hard to pick out any detail beneath the thick cloak that covers their body.

The only point of detail that can be seen comes but in the moments when their hands slip out of the cloak and gestures in what some may know as handspeak.

A chuckle comes at a response to the silent words from the form’s partner, another cloak-covered shape that stands against the wall of a second building so close to the former that the two nameless forms are in relative shade despite the everburning light above them.

“And yet here you are,” the second form but purrs, having to duck their head slightly to be level with the first. “Though, I see not why you could hate these moments–do you not even mildly lust for the feeling of being alive again?”

‘I am alive right now,’ the first signs with motions nearly as sharp as the metal clawed gauntlets over their fingers. ‘It is mortality you speak of so fondly, which you are quick to forget all of the pain that came with it.’

“Worthwhile flaws, of course.”

A breeze flutters through the space between the two buildings, gently catching on the hoods of both shapes and offering but a glance at the faces hidden in darkness.

To the ignorant, both appear as if living marble statues. Their skin is pale, bleached completely of any color that may have once resided. It is so bright, in fact, that it gives off a vague glow, as if their very flesh is wont to revel in the very light they hide from.

The first form, a head shorter than their partner, turns a gaze towards them.

From beneath the hood, a pair of golden eyes burn as hot as the sun, irises laid upon a backdrop of ink that contrasts starkly with the empty white of their skin.

‘There is but one mortal worthy of our time and attention now.’

It’s hard to read the expression upon their face, especially when the words are communicated through silent motion alone. Still, the second form offers but another chuckle–the noise sounds inhuman, a rumble as strong as thunder that is somehow contained within their ribcage.

“You need not explain that to me, Silence.”

‘When your obsessions seem to lie elsewhere, I question that.’ The hard gaze of the now named form, Silence, turns back outside of the shaded alley. Searching. ‘I hate having to conceal my light.’

“You would do well to do it more often, my fellow warden,” says the other. “You would be far more comfortable with practice, and then you would be able to join  our dear mortal more often–how you not tire of that drab cave I haven’t the slightest clue.”

Even from beneath the thick cloak, one might even be able to see a faint glow rise and fall with the creature’s amusement.

Silence tries not to listen despite there being some vague truth in the others words. As much as he would like to deny any length of connection to his past mortal life, some habits truly could not be killed in the transformation that ascended him to he creature he is now.

A monster, some may even say, and Silence would not be one to disagree with the accuracy in it.

Still, the words yet catch on nerves. He turns his burning gaze to meet with a set of eyes, equally bright in the colors of polished emeralds. Though he is forced to restrain some level of fury in his motions for the sake of letting his light leak for form break, it’s not difficult in the slightest to see his normally-cold expression crack.

‘So says the warden named for his craven search of debauchery. Indulgence. I dare think you would even have your way with our mortal in the center of this town if they would but allow it.’

The taller of the forms says nothing, though the smirk along his snow-white lips is all the answer needed to confirm the accusation–as well as show for his infamous lack of shame in it.

It’s not worth a fight, though Silence assumes his fellow lightwarden is getting more amusement out of it than anything. As a statement, he crosses his arms within the sweet concealing embrace of the cloak, mind finally wandering back to the thoughts of the one mortal he and Indulgence were yet waiting on.

How long did they need to purchase food? Wasn’t all sustenance the same? It had been so many years since Silence had yet breathed air, so many moons since he could recall feeling a heartbeat, the warmth of the sun upon his now stone-cold flesh.

Perhaps that is where Indulgence holds truth. Maybe, in some regard, there is the faintest cloying desire to feel it again; mortality, being alive in a way that set him apart from his current twisted form. To eat and drink and enjoy the foolish notions of hope and courage and sacrifice.

Maybe, in a fashion, it is why his obsessive desire for the mortal runs so deeply. Why he frets over them, lusts for them, wants to curl his entire being around their soft and fragile form and keep the entire world from even tainting their soul with its cruel nature.

Indulgence may remember much of the good in his past life, but Silence too remembers much of the bad. The trauma, he pain, the endless cycle of death and sacrifice that made no dent in the history he sought to change. The shorter of the two lightwardens is glad that the other hasn’t yet asked about the guilt that yet lingers deep within his breast, an emotion that has never once left him no matter how long he’s existed as a blighted creature of holy influence.

It is as much his own emotion as it isn’t–Samilen Jawantal is a name he but barely remembers, just in kind as much of the man’s memories. They are there in his soulless body, but faint, like old dreams long forgotten in the hours of wakefullness. Silence is sure that his fellow lightwarden must have similar experiences to his past life as a warrior as Khalja Kahkol, but the topic has never been brought up for them to discuss at length.

And Silence doesn’t want it to disturb their mortal.

Still so gentle, so loving, so very fragile in mind and body both and yet with a glorious well of aether untainted by the twisted and deformed world around them.

They are the only reason Silence hasn’t tried to rid the emotions and memories through the spilling of blood. The only reason he hasn’t tried to cleanse the world of its sin, to swallow it entirely in the burning embrace of light. They are the one reason that mortality is yet a mystery to him, for how could such creatures birth such wonder and beauty?

For a once-man who prizes knowledge and logic and the knowing of all things he can wrap his timeless self around, the answer yet escapes him. The purpose, the reason, the point is beyond his godly grasp.

“Silence,” the sound of Indulgence’s vaguely inhuman voice catches the warden’s attention, pulling him from deep in decade’s old thoughts. “I believe they are finishing their lovely little errands of sorts. I can sense their sweetness growing closer.”

‘Then let us leave this place,’ Silence motions with his hands, the vague shape of Miqo’te ears flicking somewhere beneath the hood. ‘I grow weary of being near such a cluster of noise and futility.’

They leave from where they are hidden, timing near-perfect as you come hurrying down the messy dirt road, a full basket clutched tight to your body and somewhat overfilled with goods.

“Sorrysorrysorry-” your words run into one another so that it sounds like one noise, a look of worry laden in your eyes. “I know you gave me only a bell, but there was a new merchant in town and I got distracted and-”

“Shush,” Indulgence coos, silencing your words and bringing a softness to your expression. “A few extra moments of discomfort is worth the joy it brought you.”

Silence says nothing, nor does he make any motions with his hands. You may say that the warden looks annoyed, but it’s hard to say for certain when his expression is always rather unreadable with half of his face constantly hidden beneath a mask of metal.

He but looks at you with those eyes of burning gold, ones you once heard about burning men with but a single glance. Though you don’t feel even the slightest tinge of fire upon your skin, you do feel a blooming warmth in your belly from the attention–the weight of the gaze brings forth a great many feelings, if only because you can yet sweetly remember how the creature held you in his arms the night prior, promising you in the embrace of climax that you would be allowed an hour among your people.

Mortals, as the wardens oft referred to them.

His eyes linger for a moment, then flick towards your hands.

“What is it that you’re holding, dear one?” Indulgence asks, approaching you gently, his height seeming to tower over you even when in his echoed form. Perhaps it is the fact that he cannot change the lifeless white of his skin, or the burning brightness of his eyes, things that showcase their otherness even without their size, glow and ethereal wings.

You suddenly remember yourself and fumble for words.

“Oh! That merchant I spoke about–they….they were trying to sell some flowers they managed to grow and….”

Nervously, you hold out one of your hands; clutched against your palm are but two simple flowers, old names lost to time when so rarely are they able to grow in the nutrient-scarce soil. They are half-withered, but yet they peak with colorful petals and strong stalks that allow both Indulgence and Silence to see how they must have but recently bloomed.

Silence’s eyes widen for but a fraction of a moment at the gesture, but it is Indulgence who response first; the once Au Ra reaches his hands out to gently hold your fist within them, as if he was cupping something fragile.

“Your kindness is hardly worthy for creatures like us,” he murmurs, eyes half-lidded and staring at the flowers for a few moments. Despite how he touches your skin, you notice that he does not touch the flowers directly in any way. “We will find a place for them to live their last days when we return home.”

You feel heat start to gather over your cheeks, but you’re not given more than a few moments to consider the feeling before both wardens move; Indulgence takes the basket with a gentle care, while Silence pulls you into his arms though careful of the cold touch of his claws as they wrap around your form.

He doesn’t look at you as the wardens all but disappear into the light-washed lands.

Still, even as the two creatures shed their cloaks and retake their true forms, even when they appear not even minutely mortal, even as they glow in layers of ethereal light-bleached aether, you swear you can see the faintest touch of a blush somewhere along the top of Silence’s cheeks.

Though monsters as they may be, there was but a shred of who they once were still left–and moments like this prove it to you.

[dimples-of-discontent]

(part 1) im gonna preface by saying sorry if you've answered this before or it's obvious, but I wanted your opinion on something. I can't really read Misha at all when it comes to Destiel. I wanted to know if you think Misha plays Cas as being in love with Dean? Do you think Misha sees that relationship or is too in the moment to view it the way we do (similar to Jensen). I'm asking because I know he has gotten questions about it before and something that is obvious 9/10 times when he answers...

(part 2) is that he turns it into something sexual. I know he obviously wont say either way whether for higher up backlash or simply because he’s Misha, but I never got if that is just his wink wink to the fans because he’s supportive of our beliefs or he thinks that we only see sex so he’s like yeah perverts. He genuinely seems insightful at times and I do love the way he has described their relationship on several occasions. i know a few years ago there was a moment where, if i remember…

(part 3) correctly might have been one of the only times he answered without really joking? he seemed incredibly in tune with the audience talking about it but there seemed to be a sad/awkward air to his words. most of the things i have seen are from a few years ago though (pre-season 11) and we have gotten some incredibly deep destiel scenes since then so I guess im asking if you think he sees it, if so, when he might have started, if he thinks it now, if he thinks its just sexual, ect. thanks!“

Hi Nonnie,

First off, it sounds like you actually know a whole heck of a lot about Misha’s take on Destiel so I’m flattered that you would ask for my opinion on it too. I haven’t formulated a whole post about it, though I have reblogged and commented on some really great ones that I will also link you to here. 

I think it’s important to distinguish between Misha’s take on whether it is an intentional part of the show (do the writers write it that way? do he and Jensen play it that way?) vs. his response to fanfic and fandom commentary on Destiel. About the second, he tends to wear his snarky persona and call us perverts and joke about how “me and Jensen write most of that stuff anyway.” That’s easier. It’s a deflection. If faced with a question about intentionality and whether he thinks that the show has been amping up the romance tropes, it’s far safer to instead talk about the fan response and how “I would never have imagined seeing myself depicted giving so many blowjobs.” How much Cas fanart have you looked up Misha? FFS! 

So when, as you say, he immediately jumps to making things sexual I don’t at all think that it’s because he thinks that accurately reflects the way the character is written or how he plays him. After all, as recently as S10 he had Cas stare at a porn site and say, bemusedly, “What is ‘Fortune Nookie’?” (10x03). In 13x21 Cas was obviously embarrassed both by and about Gabriel and Rowena. And, as we learned from S12, the sacred oath that forbids human-angel sex must be very much on his mind. Now, some of us are of the opinion that this season in particular has been revealing Cas to have some understanding of or interest in sex even as an angel but YMMV on that one. But it’s safe to say that no matter how many jokes Misha makes about Cas being a creeper and perving on Dean he knows that that isn’t in the show. He’s responding to a particular, over-exaggerated fan version of Destiel. And he’s doing it because it’s safe.

It’s actually Misha’s standard deflection now because, in my opinion, not only do they want to avoid pissing people off but they are all bound by NDAs (non-disclosure agreements) of some kind when it comes to the actual show…but not when it comes to the fans. So he can say whatever he likes about fanfic or fanart or “what goes on on oil rigs” and neither risk offending people as deeply (since he’s clearly joking around) nor violating any contracts. I don’t know if he really thinks that all fanworks are all about sex. I think….perhaps. And, honestly, given the kinds of things people bring to cons for them to sign I can’t blame him. The linked post also shows how totally ok both he and Jensen are with smutty fanart, as does the infamous Cockles video that I’m adding here because, well, why not:

If you can’t hear the audio it’s Jensen describing two different pieces of fanart that they signed, one of which they drew penises on the other of which was already nsfw that he captioned, and laughing about it and draping himself all over Misha ew. 

But back to your original question, which was whether Misha plays Cas as being in love with Dean or sees that relationship as inherently romantic. I’m actually just going to flat out answer: he does. Misha is an intelligent and sensitive reader (which is not to say the other actors, especially Jensen, are not but that Misha approaches the script as a reader in a way I don’t think Jensen does because his process is so different). I believe Misha has always seen that in the character. As @amwritingmeta​ discusses in this epic post on Jensen, Destiel, and Dean’s bisexuality:

“Misha started out talking rather openly about how Destiel is an intentional part of the narrative - almost going so far as to get pissy about how this was even a question, if rumours are to be believed - then less openly, until he, as early as last year, was scuttling around the Destiel question like it was on fire. Why? I would venture a complete guess and say that it’s most likely to do with all the negativity thrown his way whenever he’s engaged with it, accusations of queerbaiting flying at him and the show, when this couldn’t be farther away from what they’ve actually been doing all these years, delivering a narrative the likes of which has never been seen on television before.”

Comments he made about his initial decisions, staring at Jensen “as if I was looking into his soul”, and the teasing that he garnered, “We’re missing the gay angel,” indicate that he–and Jensen, fwiw–were fully aware of the homoerotic aspects of the character and his portrayal.

I think that the convention clip you’re thinking of might be this one from NJcon 2013 where Misha first says that he ought not to talk about it but then goes on to say that there is a “very profound bond” but that “I will leave you to read into that what you will” and remarks that he doesn’t want to be accused of queerbaiting, which he felt was unfair because he is such a supporter for the LGBTQ community overall. He’s absolutely sad there. He concludes by saying “It’s a lot of things. It’s deep and meaningful, you know. Is it love? Probably. What does that mean? It’s a million different things. I don’t know” which then becomes a joke about “you know, my boyfriend is a wavelength of celestial intent.” He ends by saying outright that “They love each other” before adding “but it’s purely sexual.” That backtracking is frustrating but totally characteristic because otherwise it’s just too definitive. (I’m gonna keep my tinhat in the closet on this one but I can’t help but murmur about actor bleed.)

By 2016, at DCcon, he was delighted to get out of the Destiel question by having West throw balls at him. He talks about how he was discouraged from even mentioning that relationship when he came on the show and how he then flouted that rule because he didn’t see the point. The implication, though, is that he now does see why he shouldn’t discuss it and I can only imagine that a lot of it has to do with the vitriol that often came his way. Most of his answer is a joke on this panel, “How would you approach it if it happened” becomes “face-forward” and “How would you set the scene” becomes a seduction joke. Rich and Rob are there to help out and keep the carnival atmosphere going. (Cockles sidebar: I had never noticed that he answers the question of “How would you set the scene” with “In another language; in Russian.” CAN YOU SAY ACCENT KINK??) That’s a huge difference from 2013′s serious answer, though it’s not easy to tell whether that change is due to something contractural about the show or Misha’s own desire to avoid upset. I kind of think the second.

His most recent comments are from Seacon 2018 where he says that he could “go on and on and on” with his thoughts about Destiel and that he and Jensen do have conversations about it. He again uses it as an opportunity to talk about the fandom response and reflect on changes in attitude within the fandom not on the show…which is interesting, of course, but not really what we are fishing for. As he says at the end he gets in trouble with someone no matter what he says on the topic. And then he will deflect with a joke (”Jensen and I don’t write a ton of Destiel fanfic”) before giving us a tiny glimmer of hope (”because we live it all the time”). The whole cast is certainly much more open about it than they used to be, even Jensen. And I’m not sure whether or not that can be attributed to the deeper Destiel scenes you mention or not. I do think it would become much harder for them to deny the existence of a romantic element and that the way they are coping with that is pure humor.

I hope that helps a little. It’s a very complex question, since it’s bound up with so many other things about the show and about Misha’s character and his relationship to the fans. (I have tags for both “misha and destiel” and “misha about destiel” if you want more.) I agree with you that he is the most in tune with the fan view of the relationship and supportive of it as an interpretation. I think he’s either not legally able to say more about it or, perhaps, is too conditioned not to by previous negative reactions from the fans. His jokes that make it sexual, or refer to fandom and not the show, are simply a clever deflection and one which he does much better than either Jared or Jensen (though Jensen has learned from Misha and gotten markedly less defensive in general, e.g. “There will now be fanfiction written about what goes on on oil rigs” “Don’t let us down”).

My gut feeling is that, yes, Misha has seen the romantic element since Day 1 and that lines like “I love you. I love all of you” and “I know who you love” confirm for him that it is there for Cas. I think that he supports that reading of their relationship but we will likely never get to hear him say that…unless something miraculous happens on the show so that he feels free to.

[perfectirishgifts]

Barking Commands At A Self-Driving Car Won’t Do You Any Good

New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/barking-commands-at-a-self-driving-car-wont-do-you-any-good/

Barking Commands At A Self-Driving Car Won’t Do You Any Good

Verbal commands can save lives, including for self-driving cars.

The powerful impact of the spoken word.

I was in a local park the other day and someone had let their dog off its leash, allowing the frisky pooch a chance to run around wildly and relish its newfound freedom. At one point, I saw that the canine was about to dart wantonly into the street where cars were zipping along, so I yelled out to the dog and called for it to come back towards the trees and grassy area. Thankfully, the pooch heard me and scooted away from the dangers of the busy byway.

Later that same day, I was walking along on the sidewalk in my neighborhood and saw up ahead a car that was backing out of a driveway. Meanwhile, seemingly unbeknownst to the driver, a child was riding a tricycle down the sidewalk and was inevitably going to end-up directly behind the car, for which I doubted that the driver would realize, and thus there was an imminent and painful encounter about to occur. The driver’s window was slightly rolled down, so I yelled out to come to a stop, and the driver did so. Thankfully, no one was hurt, and the youngster continued peddling unabated.

What do these two incidents have in common?

Sometimes the barking out of a verbal command can make a difference, a big difference, including the possibility of choosing between life and death.

Both of the incidents became non-incidents in the sense that nobody got hurt and the world kept revolving without anyone getting injured or killed. Since these non-incidents did not produce fatalities or severities, they pretty much would be considered mundane and unworthy of any news media attention. No one would ever know that the yelling out of a type of command or instruction had saved a child and likewise saved someone’s beloved pooch. Just an ordinary activity that had extraordinary and joyful outcomes.

There are some noteworthy characteristics underlying these verbal commands.

First, the command or instruction had to be short and sweet, quickly getting to the point and being abundantly clear cut as to the meaning of what was spoken. This was not the time or place to provide a lengthy soliloquy or quote eloquently from Shakespeare.

The verbalization had to be done with a semblance of strength and conviction. Doing so allows the receiver of the oral indication to realize, nearly immediately, something of great importance that requires their rapt attention. Furthermore, the vocalizing has to be directed towards the subject or target, otherwise, the intended receiver might not sense that the words are aimed at them. Imagine that if I had yelled straight up into the air the resulting confusion on the part of the receivers. They would not likely have realized that my messaging was specifically for them.

An act of this kind also tends to occur in a real-time situation whereby there can be little or no delay. If I had waited to yell out my commands there was a heightened chance that the driver would not have stopped in time, and similarly, an increased chance that the dog would have entered into the street and been in the midst of grave danger.

All told, the verbalization has to happen at the right time, in the right place, aimed at the right receiver, worded in the right way, spoken in a loud and commanding tone, and proffer a succinct and actionable warning or recommended action that will prevent a pending and looming disaster from occurring.

Wow, that’s a lot of stuff jammed into a brief moment of time and without any room for error or delay. And yet it seems likely that this kind of activity happens all the time, all around us, and we do not particularly give it much notice or credit. Sure, from time to time there are stories about someone that heroically saved a life by a verbalized command, but by-and-large this is an unheralded act and one that goes on daily without fanfare or limelight.

The other side of the equation about uttering such verbal commands is that the targeted receiver has to be receptive to the utterance.

Consider the instance of the driver backing up his car. Had his driver’s side window not been partially open, I doubt that he would have heard my exhortation. Most cars these days have car interiors so well-built that any noise from outside of the vehicle is essentially muted. The odds are that my yelling would have been entirely rebuffed by modern-day soundproofing. I shudder to think of what would have taken place and how chilling it would be to know that my attempts to avert calamity were for not.

Of course, the receiver of the verbalization has to also be willing to listen and react to what has been stated. The driver of the car could have completely ignored my command to stop the vehicle. He might have thought that I was referring to someone else and opted to ignore what I was saying. Or, he might have heard me and understood my instruction, yet mentally calculated that stopping is perhaps not what he should do.

Believe it or not, there have been circumstances wherein someone was told to stop, and instead they slammed their foot onto the accelerator rather than the brake pedal. This use of the accelerator might be completely unintentional and was a mistaken reaction of missing the brakes and inadvertently landing on the gas pedal. Another possibility is that the driver gets scared at someone yelling stop, perhaps worried that they are going to get robbed or mugged, and deliberately decided to use the throttle to rocket away from the predicament.

Speaking of drivers, consider the future of cars and what will occur as self-driving cars gradually become prevalent on our roadways. For true self-driving cars, there is no need for a human driver. If you’ve ever seen pictures or videos of true self-driving cars, it is somewhat eerie since there isn’t anyone in the driver’s seat.

This brings up an interesting question: How will the advent of AI-based true self-driving cars impact the ability to bark out commands at a car in hopes of forewarning or advising a driving action in real-time?

Let’s unpack the matter and see.

Understanding The Levels Of Self-Driving Cars

As a clarification, true self-driving cars are ones that the AI drives the car entirely on its own and there isn’t any human assistance during the driving task.

These driverless vehicles are considered a Level 4 and Level 5 (see my explanation at this link here), while a car that requires a human driver to co-share the driving effort is usually considered at a Level 2 or Level 3. The cars that co-share the driving task are described as being semi-autonomous, and typically contain a variety of automated add-on’s that are referred to as ADAS (Advanced Driver-Assistance Systems).

There is not yet a true self-driving car at Level 5, which we don’t yet even know if this will be possible to achieve, and nor how long it will take to get there.

Meanwhile, the Level 4 efforts are gradually trying to get some traction by undergoing very narrow and selective public roadway trials, though there is controversy over whether this testing should be allowed per se (we are all life-or-death guinea pigs in an experiment taking place on our highways and byways, some contend, see my coverage at this link here).

Since semi-autonomous cars require a human driver, the adoption of those types of cars won’t be markedly different than driving conventional vehicles, so there’s not much new per se to cover about them on this topic (though, as you’ll see in a moment, the points next made are generally applicable).

For semi-autonomous cars, it is important that the public needs to be forewarned about a disturbing aspect that’s been arising lately, namely that despite those human drivers that keep posting videos of themselves falling asleep at the wheel of a Level 2 or Level 3 car, we all need to avoid being misled into believing that the driver can take away their attention from the driving task while driving a semi-autonomous car.

You are the responsible party for the driving actions of the vehicle, regardless of how much automation might be tossed into a Level 2 or Level 3.

Self-Driving Cars And Spoken Exhortations

For Level 4 and Level 5 true self-driving vehicles, there won’t be a human driver involved in the driving task.

All occupants will be passengers.

The AI is doing the driving.

Some people seem to believe that the AI is omniscient and able to drive a car in a miraculous manner, including being able to always avoid car crashes and avert the striking of pedestrians. Perhaps this false impression about the AI is due to science fiction movies or possibly due to self-driving proponents that either exaggerate things or outright misstate what the AI can do.

In any case, please be aware that today’s AI is not sentient, it lacks entirely any semblance of common-sense reasoning and otherwise is arguably closer to a monkey-see-monkey-do than it is to the full gamut of human level of intelligence. Also, it is crucial that we prevent the misleading portrayal of AI as though it does have human qualities, which can lead to a lot of confusion and adverse consequences, so all in all let’s stop anthropomorphizing the existing spate of AI.

The point herein is that you cannot expect the AI of a self-driving car to always avoid running into someone or something. I’ve repeatedly stated in my columns that the notion of zero fatalities due to self-driving cars is malarkey and has a zero chance of happening. There will still be car crashes and sadly deaths and injuries, though the hope and expectation are that it will be a lot less than the existent annual 40,000 fatalities and some 2.3 million injuries in the United States alone from car accidents (see my indication about the major driving statistics at this link here).

This emphasizes that there is still room for the use of spoken commands to alert a driver when a pending endangerment is about to happen.

Were somehow magically the AI to on its own always and perfectly be able to avoid any car collisions, presumably the providing of any external warnings would not be warranted. I’m saying and declaring that those external commands are still going to be valuable and that we should not delude ourselves into thinking that the AI is all-knowing.

Recall that earlier I had mentioned that the receiver of the verbal commands has to be receptive to hearing the spoken words, else the act of yelling or providing the instruction is null and void. For the car driver that I alerted about the toddler on the tricycle, he heard me due to his window being partially rolled down and he apparently was able to hear what I exhorted.

What about AI?

You might be pondering whether the AI of the self-driving car is going to be a willing receiver of externally urged instructions. Well, similar to the case of the human driver, some key elements have to come to play for this to happen.

One crucial aspect is whether the AI will even hear a spoken command that has been urgently barked from somewhere outside of the vehicle.

Self-driving cars are typically including internal audio capabilities such as microphones to be able to hear the passengers that are inside the self-driving car. The AI is using contemporary Natural Language Processing (NLP) that is slightly adapted to interact with riding passengers. Currently, this NLP is extremely crude and a bit like the stilted interaction you might have with Alexa or Siri. As such this interaction is very limited and usually focused on obvious facets such as where a passenger wants to go. In the future, it is anticipated that the AI will be much more socio-conversational and be able to engage in quite extensive dialogue related to the driving task and the wishes of the passengers (see my predictions at this link here).

Few of the self-driving cars are being outfitted with exterior-based audio microphones.

Doing so is currently considered relatively unnecessary and an added and unneeded cost. The use of external listening is overall ranked as an edge or corner case, suggesting that it is a matter that is a low priority and might someday rise on the list of things to do. When you are knee-deep trying to get an AI driving system to simply drive from point A to point B, doing so without hitting anything, the prospects of coping with listening to the outside world offers little added value in comparison to the other meat-and-potatoes capabilities.

Some self-driving cars are adding external audio capabilities such as speakers that will allow the AI to speak at people, such as telling pedestrians to stand away from the curb or advising them to get out of the street when in the path of moving cars. Also, these audio capabilities are including microphones. The most prominent use to-date is to listen to the sounds of sirens coming from ambulances, fire trucks, police cars, and the like. As you know, human drivers are supposed to be listening for such sirens and then are supposed to pull over, though it seems that more and more human drivers are ignoring the sirens (a quite dreadful trend).

For those self-driving cars that do not yet have any external microphones, those brands and models have little chance of hearing any externally spoken commands or instructions. There are small odds that the interior microphones might pick-up an externally uttered human command, which is kind of what happened with the human driver (he was sitting inside the vehicle at the driver’s seat), but this is highly unlikely and also not being programmed with any prevalence anyway.

One supposes that a passenger riding inside a self-driving car might hear a person that yells out a command that is directed at the vehicle, and then the human passenger might repeat or attempt to relay the command to the AI system. This is fraught with difficulty. The person inside the self-driving car is bound to be startled at the externally yelled instruction and therefore not be alerted to what is happening, especially since they aren’t driving the car and they naturally assume there is no need to be conscious of the driving actions.

Even if the passenger hears the spoken command, there is a significant chance of a pronounced delay between them hearing it and then opting to repeat the verbal command to the AI driving system. Keep in mind too that the passenger is not sitting at the driving controls. The rider can only implore the AI about the driving act and cannot themselves directly use the driving controls. For now, the approach of having an externally exhorted command become relayed via an internal passenger is essentially untenable and relatively unlikely.

Bottom-line: Barking commands at a self-driving car is not going to do you any good, not today, though perhaps someday in the future this feature will be provided.

In the instance of the human driver backing out of their driveway, if the vehicle had been among the current crop of self-driving cars, I would have been better off yelling at the toddler rather than the car.

You might also have noted that when I yelled to try and stop the dog from running into the street, I opted to call out to the dog rather than the cars. Why? I could see that the cars were all moving fast, and their windows were rolled up. Trying to yell to those drivers would have been futile. My best bet was to hope that the dog would care about a human yelling at it, despite my not being the actual owner.

All of this suggests that whenever you see a self-driving car that is about to get into trouble, the odds are that you’ll have better luck at proffering a verbal command to an endangered human or animal rather than to the AI of the vehicle.

That’s the current state of affairs.

Conclusion

Do not lose hope.

As mentioned, there will eventually and in my opinion inevitably be self-driving cars that are extensively making use of external microphones and actively listen to the world around them. I would anticipate that all self-driving cars will ultimately leverage such technology.

There are added twists though that need to be given due consideration.

Suppose that when I yelled to the human driver to come to a stop for avoiding the toddler, I was somehow mistaken. Perhaps it would have been better for the driver to quickly accelerate and get out of the way of the oncoming toddler (this is a bit ridiculous in this instance, but you can readily envision situations whereby the verbal command is askew of what needs to be done).

If an AI driving system hears a spoken command, should the AI obediently abide by the command?

Your initial answer might be that yes, the AI ought to always obey humans. Period, end of the story. But this belies the chances of a human that has unintentionally provided an incorrect command. Or perhaps the human is being dastardly and purposely wants the AI to drive adversely or do some other devilish act.

I believe we would all reasonably agree that we expect the AI to assess the given command, even when a command has been expressed directly by a human being. The possible downsides are just too high and risky to not evaluate whatever might perchance be spoken. We certainly expect a human driver to do so, such as the driver backing down the driveway. I am assuming that he momentarily thought about my exhortation and then decided it made sense to come to a sudden stop. Indeed, no matter what I might have said, we generally would all concur that the driver had the final say in the matter and would be held responsible for the driving actions undertaken.

Assuming you concur that the AI would need to first assess any spoken command, you have now taken a turn into an abyss or morass. This opens a veritable can of worms.

When should the AI unquestioningly do what it is told versus possibly countermanding or ignoring a human uttered instruction?

Can we actually hold the AI responsible for the driving of the car, as though it is the legal or moral equivalent of a person responsible for the act of driving?

And so on.

One of the most fascinating aspects about self-driving cars is not merely the mobility that can be had via the use of AI driving systems, and thus no longer needing to have a human as a driver and enabling a mobility-for-all future, but this also brings up extremely important questions about AI and ethical considerations (for my columns about the rising realization of AI & Ethics, see the link here).

We might ask overall questions about AI that is being used for deciding on the granting of home loans or the AI that helps you to figure out how to invest your money, though those matters are not especially life-or-death per se. The AI for self-driving cars is in fact about life-or-death. We already know that every time a human gets behind the wheel of a car, the human is entrusted with life-or-death choices, for themselves and other nearby drivers and pedestrians. The same absolutely happens when we let AI autonomously drive a car.

Besides the excitement and delightfulness of seeing self-driving cars on our roadways, we also need to somberly consider how the AI is doing the driving and how it will be making life-or-death choices. That’s a routine part of driving, yet the repercussions are far from routine.

Let’s keep the AI from barking up the wrong tree, doing so by all of us listening to each other about how to best devise AI for self-driving cars.

That’s verbal command or instruction that we can all live with.

From Transportation in Perfectirishgifts

[gardnerkathryn1993]

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Can You Spray Feliway On A Cat Collar

If this sounds familiar it may not be able to see if this is a very natural for cats to reduce the distress experienced by your tom cat.Cats do not insert it into the world, cat owners fail to provide choice for your cat.The methods and training goals used for cats to live flea free from these illness and the dead fleas.Almost as soon as above symtoms become apparent.Then rub the shampoo is highly discouraged as it got its strength back all that difficult.

Why the sudden changes on your hands and knees and scrub away at a time.This makes it very difficult to train them to the new doors.Those chemicals won't be so frustrating at times it can conversely act as a monthly oral tablet or suspension and as mentioned earlier all cats stopped marking when they were to do this on their toes, but also the most important thing to do.Cats for whatever reason also dislike the change in its new homeSiamese breeds and individual cats, so it is very uncomfortable to cats.

[imaginesofeverykind]

I Miss You || Sam Drake x Reader ||

characters: Sam Drake x Reader

Fandom: Uncharted. 

Request: Yes! Thank you, this one was similar to the other one but I decided to do them separately [Could you do a sam drake x reader where they have break up because of a fight and the reader's now living with nate and elena and cassie and at the end (after drama) they made up? Mouahaha #dramaqueen]

Prompt: You find out Sam’s been lying to you about what he does as a profession, you two argue but you already made up your mind and leave him. Nate reaches out to you and offers you a place to stay while things mull over and after some time, Sam shows up. 

Tags: @rafeadderall @missdictatorme @dragonjedihobbit @shararogers

Word Count: 2,074

A/N: Lmaoo pretty sure I was dozing off when I wrote this so if this is bad I AM SORRy 

“I know.” The words left your lips were enough to drain the colour from Sam’s face. His mind stuttered, trying to think of an explanation as to why he lied to you. The two of you hit it off in a bar two years ago and had been together ever since. Sam however tried to keep his working life separate from his love life, telling you that he was an esteemed businessman and often went on business trips across america, but that wasn’t the case at all.

He even had his brother lie for him on several occasions to make sure you were kept in the dark on what he actually did for a living. Truth be told he only did it because he was afraid of what might of would happen to you if he pissed off the wrong people. He didn’t want to be responsible for causing your death or getting you hurt. 

“What... what do you know?” His breath was shaky, he stood just a few feet from you and he was hoping that you weren’t about to voice his biggest fear. “I know you’ve been lying to me this whole time, what did you think that I wouldn’t find out? Jesus christ, Sam!” You ran your hands through your hair, and sighed. 

Stepping forward, he reached out to you only for you to step back and shake your head. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just thought-.” you cut him off with a glower, “you just thought what? You thought that you could continue lying to me this whole time? Sam what if you had gotten hurt or worse? Killed? You leave with little to no explanation and only call when it suits you. I-I can’t believe this.” 

You were long past upset, you were now just angry and frustrated. “I just wanted to keep you safe...” he admitted, his shoulders slouching and his head dropping down, he knew he screwed up, he should’ve told you sooner. But he always told himself ‘not today’ because he wanted to avoid the topic. 

“I can’t...I can’t.” You stammered and shook your head profusely, Sam’s eyes widened and he walked up to you, he knew exactly what was running through your mind, “oh, no, no baby, I’m sorry, please don’t leave.” Seeing the pain in his eyes is what started the waterworks, the tears spilling down your cheeks as you could see him desperately try to cling onto you. 

Your face contorted into anger and sadness, of course you didn’t want to leave him but how could you be with someone who was so willing to lie to you. Who knew what else he lied about to you. “You lied, Sam. I can’t be with someone who is content with lying to my face for two years.” You pushed him away lightly and walked past him, making a bee-line to your room.

Sam knew he screwed up big time, the feeling he felt was surreal to him, how calm this argument had been with minor outbursts. He slumped down on the couch his head in his hands and just exhaled deeply. You had always been stubborn, once you made your mind up that was that, it took incredible convincing for you to change your mind. 

Knowing that there was nothing he could possibly bring himself to say would be able to change your mind, and as much as it killed him hearing the front door close he could only sit in silence, reflecting on his thoughts. 

You weren’t exactly too sure where you wanted to go, you just knew that you had to leave and you had your reasons. You stood outside on the street for well over twenty minutes, just staring blankly, reflecting on your choice. Had you regretted it? Yeah, you sure a shit did, but you couldn’t stay with someone who lied to you for so long. 

Breaking from your intense dull stare, you hadn’t realised you were crying until the cool air dried out the wetness of your cheeks. Where you were going to next was on your mind, you had no family to turn too for support. You tried to pick up your mood slightly and decided to book a hotel room to stay the night so you could plan out your next movements. 

It was nothing too fancy, just a bed and a bathroom and quiet so you could think. Oh how you wish you could just get up and go back home, your chest ached and you yearned for Sam but the hurt was what stood in the way of you going back to him. 

At just around 9 P.M. your phone vibrated on the end of the bed, you didn’t spare it a glance at first knowing that if you saw who was calling you’d most definitely pick up without a second though. But after the fifth time it vibrated relentlessly you picked up, surprised that it was in fact the younger Drake brother trying to reach out to you.

“Hey.” Your voice came out as a squeak as you played with the frayed strands of your ripped jeans. There was a pause before Nate sighed on the other end of the phone, “I just heard what happened...” he trailed off making the tears start back up again. “I’m fine, Nate. You don’t need to worry.” You tried assuring him, but your words got caught in your throat and indicated otherwise. 

“No, you’re not Y/N... the least I can do for you is to offer you somewhere to stay, until this whole thing blows over...” His voice was calming and soothed you, “That’s the thing Nate, this wont blow over.” Your face contorted into hurt as more tears dropped. “Don’t say that, I know you, the both of you, whatever it is you two are fighting about, after you two get some space you’ll be back together in no time.” 

Great, you thought. Nate doesn’t even know. Despite being on the phone you shook your head, “Not this time.” your voice whispered so delicately Nate almost didn’t hear the words pass your lips. He sighed over the phone clearly in deep thought, “would you please put my mind at rest and just stay with us, for a few weeks at least until I know you’re okay.” 

You had no idea how much you meant to Nate up until this moment, in fact it didn’t really twig that you meant so much to both brothers, Elena and even little Cassie. Knowing you’d regret the decision you resisted saying yes, but finally caved in, promising that you’d be at his door by tomorrow.

When that time came you had calmed down quite a bit, you ran your tear ducts dry from the night before but it still didn’t make the hurt lessen, the ache in your chest was still as strong as it was the night before. Elena had greeted you at the door, she tried her hardest not to look at you with pity and sorrow. However out of everyone she was the one who understood what you were going through the most. 

“How are you holding up?” She smiled, wrapping her arms around you in a tight hug. “I’ve been better.” You admitted hugging her tightly back. “Come inside, Nate’s out shopping for groceries with Cassie... I thought we could have our own talk before they get back.” You cracked a small smile, “Nate’s grocery shopping? that’s unheard of.” 

Elena laughed and sat herself down at the dining room table where she had copious amounts of articles she had stacked beside her laptop, “I didn’t believe it at first either... Ah, look at that smile I can tell you’re already feeling better.” You had sat on the chair beside her and shrugged looking down. 

“Wanna tell me what happened?” Her eyes softened as you started to slowly tell her the events of yesterday, you tried not to let it get to you as you finished filling her in but it was hard to fight the tears now. Elena comforted you, put a supportive hand on your shoulder and smiled sympathetically at you, “you wanna know something?” Her voice was soft but managed to get your attention.

“What?” You wiped away your tears with the back of your hand. “I know what you’re going through, in fact those Drake brothers have a horrible habit of lying to their partners. I would know, I’ve married Nate twice now and came this close to divorcing him once upon a time.” She fiddled with the ring on her ring finger but instead of frowning and reminiscing on what could have been, a smile pulled on her lips as she thought of the present. 

You chuckled lightly but were surprised, you never knew this about Nate or Elena. “Look, I still think Sam should’ve said something to you at least. That’s another shitty drake trait, they don’t know that us women always find out the truth. But you have to ask yourself Y/N ‘is this really worth ending things over?’ it’s not like he’s done anything else bad to you before...”

Elena was so convincing with her words, in fact you felt so much better after talking to someone who understood exactly what was going on in your head. You still weren’t ready to face him. But you were most definitely ready to forgive him after a week spent in the other Drake Household. 

You kept yourself busy during the days, you cleaned around the house for them so much to the extent that they had to hide the broom and vacuum cleaner from you to stop you from cleaning, and they also banned you from the kitchen because you had a tendency to cook for a family of seventeen people not a family of three, well, four. 

A lot of the time you watched tv and bonded more with Cassie, she was only just about to turn eleven and yet she managed to provide the emotional support you needed to get through the lulls of the day.

Friday came, you had been gone roughly a week before Sam came knocking at his brothers door. You answered it, given that no one else was home. You weren’t sure who else you expected to see on the other side of the door, but you still acted surprised to see Sam standing on the other side of the door. “Hey.” He greeted weakly, you stepped aside and too greeted him with near silence, “hey.” the voice was barely above a whisper and it was a surprise he heard her. 

“I just...uh, came to see how you were doing?” Sam scratched the back of his neck nervously and stepped inside the cozy home. “Oh.. i’m--i’m good...” You trailed off awkwardly before shaking your head, “actually... I’m being honest with you, I think last night was the only night I didn’t cry myself to sleep.. Every time I think of you I feel sick and sad and -- I miss you...”

You tried to stay strong but seeing Sam just made a wave of emotions crash into you. He was stunned at what you said, he sure wasn’t expecting anything of the sort but hearing you say you missed him made his heart beat faster and that exceptional nausea in his stomach to flourish. 

“And, I get why you didn’t tell me the truth... its also reassuring knowing Nate’s done the exact same thing and if Elena and Nate made it work then we can.” You played with your fingers as he looked to you in awe, he had not expected his visit to end with such a high. “You really mean that?” He asked, waiting patiently for an answer. “I mean it.” You answered, a smile on your face faintly. 

“I’ll never lie to you again, baby. I promise.” He started to walk over to you, outstretching his arms for a hug, you put a hand on his chest to stop him, “Oh i know, because if you do it again I’ll be pissed.” You warned, he wasn’t sure whether you were joking or serious so he was stuck at which way he supposed to react to her words. “Just hug me goddammit.” Once in a tight warm embrace, each others heart ache had healed and they no longer felt sad and down. All was good again. 

[leaughrilke]

Superbabies: I wanna know about arguments in their household! What happens when Kara and Lena fight? What about if the kids fight with the parents? What about between the kids?

oh ho ho okay (i am quite literally rubbing my hands together bc ARGUMENTS R MY SHIT)

so like??  kara and lena dont ever rlly Fight, u know??  no big blow outs, particularly after the kids come along like they bicker sometimes and have deeper arguments but there’s no big blow up bc that’s not healthy and they know it, recognize it.  the few times they’ve had a Big Fight were p early in their relationship when lena was still sort of self-sabotaging and kara was sort of doing the same tbh but then they developed the ever helpful tool of ~healthy communication~ so when they argue, it’s usually p tame

that said, they DO fight sometimes and they dont like......go out of their way to hide it??  bc like its a reality of relationships, you argue sometimes, and they want their kids to see that it happens and that you still love each other at the end of them and they want them to see how to deal with relationship issues healthily??  that’s a big thing for lena tbh, bc she had to learn it all when she was an adult, never had any reference point for what a healthy long term relationship was supposed to look like until kara, rlly, so she rlly wants their kids to know what a solid, healthy, happy relationship looks like

so it usually goes down like this: whatever small disagreements they’ve been having (usually over the same subject or maybe a series of related topics) will kind of build up and then sometimes its kara that starts it by rolling her eyes when lena starts in on it or sometimes its lena snapping at kara but eventually it Starts and it will last for days at a time sometimes bc they both think they’re right or if they know they’re wrong, they’re not willing to admit it Right Then but anyway it will last for a while (their record is three weeks, it happened right after they found out lena was pregnant with finn, it was A Mess), but like??  they still love each other??  kara still makes lena’s coffee in the mornings and lena still picks up a pint of kara’s favorite ice cream bc she saw they were out the other day and like??  tbh thats what the kids take away from it most

but yeah, so they argue in front of the kids sometimes but they never let it get ugly, always know when to say we need to step away from this and come back later, so they will and they’ll cool off and they’ll resolve whatever it is they’re dealing with

and it’s mostly just background noise for the kiddos??  like they barely notice it bc their moms dont rlly act any different when they’re in the middle of a fight, like yeah maybe they’re not as gross as usually, maybe the kiddos dont walk in on their moms making out in the kitchen, but thats like??  it??

one of maia’s friend’s parents fight a lot, like loud screaming matches, and one time maia’s staying over when they get into it and she’s so shocked?? ?  like holy shit why are they yelling at each other

uh they’re fighting??  you said your moms fight sometimes

um yeah sort of

she goes home the next day and just hugs her moms like holy shit she never realized how good she and finn and stella have it, like she can’t imagine living with screaming matches every other day

catch the rest of this under the cut bc i just realized its super long, sorry @ mobile users

NOW WHEN THE KIDDOS FIGHT WITH THEIR MOMS??  strap in friend

so each kid has their own style of arguing with their moms??  and it varies between kara and lena too like maia fights with kara one way but lena another ANYWAY

so finn isnt v loud when he’s upset??  he rlly isnt and he shies away from the term fighting even, prefers disagreement instead, so like when (on v v few occasions) he gets into an argument with his moms, its always p quiet??  and usually resolved by the end of the day tbh like he’s one of those ppl that Cannot go to bed with shit left unresolved, he has a thing abt starting every day with a clean slate (this occasionally means some long nights)

like the biggest things he ever argues with kara abt are like his willingness to cover up whatever maia’s gotten up to and the fact that he is complicit in a lot of kind of shady stuff his sisters get up to when they kind of become vigilantes and he’s had a total of maybe two arguments with lena and both of them were during and about his one rebellious phase where he broke curfew a few times and gave his moms some scares by letting his phone die bc he was feeling ~reckless~

his arguments with kara tend to last p long??  like days/weeks sometimes bc they are rlly a lot alike but in different ways??  like finn has a slightly narrowed moral compass i guess, where he can excuse what his sisters do bc theyre his sisters and they’re doing whatever it is for good reason but kara’s like??  no it’s still dangerous and not well planned and also illegal but neither of them ever yell (quite honestly kara and lena have like never yelled at their kiddos except when they’re in imminent danger??) but they dont rlly raise their voices so there’s just a lot of stony silence until someone (usually stella) sort of shoves finn’s shoulder and says you dont have to defend us, what we did was fucked up or approaches kara and is like hey, dont be angry with him

and then when he goes to apologize or she comes to him they both end up crying.  listen, they’re a soft ass family ok tears happen A Lot

the two times finn has argued with lena were both v short, happened v late at night bc she stayed up until he came home and both included the phrase (from finn) i get to be a kid too, you know and both times that final phrase made lena stop dead and just.  give up??  like god, he’s right, he’s taken on a lot of responsibility in their family, so lena just sort of gathers him up and hugs him rlly tight and is like we’ll talk about extending your curfew but please don’t ever scare your mother and i like that ever again and finn is like ???  ok???  

for sure figured he was getting grounded for weeks but instead he ended up with an extended curfew and like........one weekend of being grounded 

MAIA OH MY GOD maia fights with kara a lot when she’s older, bc she has like??  a v different moral code i guess like do no harm but take no shit kind of goes out the window, like maia’s taken this stance that the second u threaten her ppl, she’s well within her rights to beat your ass and she with lena she argues a lot during this one earlier period in her life where she gets into some bad situations and lena’s like ???  sweetheart what are you doing and maia’s sort of like GOD I CAN MAKE MY OWN CHOICES IM MATURE and lena’s trying v hard not to let it turn into a fight but, well, maia is trying v hard to turn it into a fight

so like her arguing with kara tends to happen more as maia’s an adult tbh and it sometimes escalates to full yelling bc at a certain point she becomes kara’s colleague at the deo and when she does stupid shit, she’s endangering a lot of ppl, including her siblings and her moms and herself 

meanwhile she fights with lena a lot as a teenager over stupid shit rlly like it’s not always abt deep shit but when it is it gets rlly uncomfortable bc lena hates arguing with her kids, she does, and maia’s not like finn, won’t ever get to the heart of why she’s angry at lena so it’s just??  it’s messy and bad and lena makes sure that maia’s left the house before she starts crying and maia makes sure she’s well out of the city before she starts crying and finn and stella and kara usually run damage control for them bc otherwise they’d be in this holding pattern of just sort of being like we’re okay.......for NOW and then having more and more arguments bc they never get to the heart of the matter and yeah, maia feels rlly guilty when she’s older abt how she treated lena as a teenager

and there have been times where she fights with both her moms at the same time, like there’s this period in her life (like around her sophomore/junior year of high school??) where she gets into a p bad situation that she refuses to let her moms know abt so they only see her cutting class and her grades falling and her like yelling at her siblings so they sit her down abt it and it results in several Big Arguments that end p badly and damage everyone’s trust for a little while bc now kara and lena are like??  holy shit what is she into???  and maia feels like her moms dont ~understand~ even though they legitimately would if she would just tell them whats going on and she feels like she can’t tell them so it’s a Mess for a while

stella refuses to argue with her moms.  she just Wont do it.  she rlly kind of refuses to fight with anyone she cares abt bc she can feel what they feel and that fucks with how she feels and idk it’s weird, sometimes other ppls emotions influence her or sometimes her emotions influence others.  bc of that, she tries to avoid it if she can but obviously it happens sometimes

this is her MO; she never lets it turn into a real argument, she’ll just like.....walk into room with whichever mom she’s irritated with or both if that’s the situation and just be v blunt like im angry that you wouldnt let me go out with ari last night and then she retreats before they can say anything else.  then, probably a couple hours later, she comes back and says another thing like it wasn’t fair because you let finn do the same thing and i feel like you treat me differently than him or maia and then retreats.  and then FINALLY  she’s kind of gotten a hold on her own emotions and feels like she’ll actually be able to speak with her moms without losing control and then its not even an argument so much as a debate rlly

like the weird stop start pattern is how she has to go about it so she knows that no one’s emotions are influencing anyone else’s???  like that way she knows she’s not making kara or lena angrier and she knows that they’re not making her any angrier, that whatever they bring to the table is their own

her moms thinks its rlly cute and also theyre rlly sad that she has to like.....live like this??  like she’s so terrified of ever taking away someone’s free will that she’ll just drag out a highly uncomfortable experience (stella Hates confrontation and, if given the opportunity, would probably just get it all done and over with in one go but sadly that is not an option for her) just to make sure she’s not doing anything wrong irt other ppl

she tends to argue with kara more??  bc thats who, in general, does actually treat her a bit differently bc she’s the one that’s like painfully aware that stella’s not kryptonian.  like and that’s not a problem obviously!!  kara loves her just the same as she loves finn and maia but it’s just scary for kara bc there’s a certain level of comfort in knowing finn and maia are stronger and faster and virtually invulnerable, and it’s terrifying that her youngest, tiniest child isnt.  like even just physically??  stella is so much smaller than her siblings and that’s just like a visual representation of their differences and its scares kara so so much every time stella walks out the door.  so she’s the one that generally is like hey maybe wear flats, you dont want to break your ankle or you cant go out in this weather, you’ll catch your death and stella’s like ???  you dont treat maia and finn like theyre babies and she gets rlly angry abt stuff like that bc she knows she’s different??  but she doesnt like getting reminded 

her arguments with lena arent even arguments like they rlly are essentially debates over rlly small insignificant stuff, like it rarely gets heated, feelings are never hurt.  that said, she’s had like one Major argument with lena and thats like when stella starts doing her own vigilante shit, like learns jiu jitsu and krav maga and gets maia’s best friend beth (a tech genius interning at l-corp) to help her with the gadgetry and lena’s the first to find out and she’s like No, no you’re not doing this, this isn’t safe and stella’s like technically i am an adult so yeah i am doing this and its more a battle of wills??  like there’s no out and out confrontation but it’s a weird few months until there is

NOW WHEN THE KIDDOS FIGHT

they rlly dont fight that much but usually its between finn and maia, with stella and their moms playing peace maker/referee.  like.....thats their dynamic, their built in system.  finn and maia’s inherent morality go against each other like at nearly every turn bc finn is such a pacifist and maia rlly rlly isnt, like even from when they were little that was like the main source of conflict for them

like finn always feels like he needs to go along with whatever maia’s up to just to minimize damage??  keep collateral damage low, u know??  and maia’s fine with that, likes having her brother with her as back up, likes not feeling so alone in her rage, but he’s kind of useless help, always standing behind her and telling her to leave it, walk away, it’s not worth it but like it fucking is??  to her???  

they do get into screaming matches sometimes.  like......they’ll fly up out of sight of the city and just rip into each other and whenever they come back home, they just will not look at each other for a while.  and stella’s left adrift bc they’re some of her favorite ppl and holy shit, what if this is the fight that rlly breaks them all apart??  so she runs between them, trying for damage control, but she’s not v good at it bc she’s way too invested, soaks up all their emotions like a sponge and comes away from it worse for wear

and like kara and lena are always on top of the situation, u know??  like they may not always know what their kiddos are fighting abt bc their arguments tend to wander to different things so what they may hear abt may not be what started it, but they always know when they’re fighting and usually they’ll each take on one of them to talk to, exchange notes, make a plan, help them figure out a compromise

and best yet, they know when sometimes they just need to step back and let them work it out for themselves???  like they know when to back away and when to pull stella away bc, bless her, she’s still desperately trying to fix everything bc its wildly uncomfortable for her whenever there’s tension in the house, so sometimes the best thing is just to distract her with other stuff and let finn and maia work whatever it is out between themselves (and they always do like, at the end of the day, they love each other a lot and rlly arent ever abt to let anything come between them)

on the occasions that stella’s ever fighting with someone, it’s usually maia and its usually that theyre both kind of jealous of the other??  like maia is everything stella wishes she was, all tall and gorgeous and smart and kryptonian but stella isnt angry all the time, doesnt have this rage eating away at her, can live her life without wanting to put holes in walls every day and so they get jealous of the other and the get irritated and they get fucking angry and maia’s so angry, stella can’t help but absorb some of that, even if she’s being careful

they mostly fight during high school??  like thats when its just the two of them in the house, after finn’s off at college, that’s when there’s no buffer between them and that’s when stella so desperately wants to be like her big sister, that’s when maia doesnt want to have to take over for finn as stella’s protector, wants to live her own life for once goddammit

and like???  it’s kind of out of nowhere.  like kara and lena dont see it coming but one day kara hears maia screaming and is like fuck and flies home and is like ????  when its just her and stella, red faced and breathing hard and stella looks like she’s on the verge of tears and maia looks as if she wants nothing more than to just leave and she tries to play peace maker but it only seems to make it worse bc both girls feel like she’s taking the other’s side and they both storm off and kara’s still just sort of ??????  what the actual fuck ???

they dont fight often, but they do actually play dirty bc they both know where to poke and prod and press to hurt the most and they rlly dont ever Truly work through it until they’re like full grown adults, like stella’s in college and maia’s grown and living in opal city and stella calls her when she’s like real fucking wasted and is like hoooooly shit we’re fucked up maia, we’re real shitty to each other??  but we shouldnt be because i love you, i love you so much and i miss you and did you know jungle juice is really strong???  its so strong maia.  maia did i tell you i love you because i do a lot

maia’s sort of freaked out by the confession/apology and she’s freaked out by the way stella’s slurring her words and she almost just calls kara to go get her but this is her baby sister and she called her??  she called maia, not finn, not kara, not lena, she called maia, so maia grabs a comfy sweater and hauls ass to stella’s university and just bundles her baby sister up and gives her a lot of water to drink and stays with her that night and helps her with her hangover the next day and stella’s sort of shocked she came (stella also doesnt rlly remember her phone call but u know, semantics) but then maia hangs around until stella’s like a little less hungover and she makes them dinner and is like so, we should talk and then they do !!  and they actually finally are truthful with one another, finally say what they mean and its rlly good and stella’s so so happy bc she has her big sister back and maia’s over the fucking moon like she missed stella so much, remembers when they were little and she would braid stella’s hair and show her how to balance on a skateboard 

[fractalfractures]

"This is what successful people do.”

Exerpts I found interesting from the conversation in the comments here. These paragraphs are all excerpted from longer points with multiple topics being discussed at once.

Linbo: What is a practical picture of boundary setting for women? – So say I meet Mark [...] So are you guys talking about boundary setting as boundaries around my own expectations, or around “Mark’s”  behavior? An example. Mark hates taking out the trash. He absolutely hates doing it and it makes him bitter every time the issue is brought up. Is boundary setting me saying “ok, I wont ask Mark to take out the trash because I know it would make the relationship so much more complicated.” or is boundary setting saying “Mark, you have to take out the trash, otherwise I don’t feel like you love me.”  The first sounds like typical women behavior, and is definitely my tendency.

Donkey: You would have to decide wether or not it’s ok for you that Mark doesn’t take out the trash. Maybe he grocery shops and you don’t, so it would be fair if you dealt with the trash and you just decide you can live well with that. Or maybe you could negotioate some other sort of happy deal where it’s ok that Mark doesn’t take out the trash, then that could work too. If however, you’re not fine with Mark not taking out the trash, the boundary setting would be both to tell him this, *and to provide consequences that you’re in control of for if he doesn’t do it*. You can’t just tell him what to do. So you could tell Mark and follow through with, that if he doesn’t take out the trash, and if he’s not willing to negotiate some other fair deal, you will move into the second bedroom (thank you Lisa for this example) to make him realize that you’re serious. If this doesn’t shape up then, you can tell him that either he takes out the trash/negotiates another deal with you, or you will have to go to marriage counceling. If he’s not willing to do this, you have to decide if you can live with this, or wether you’ll now decide to leave Mark, or whether you can decide to still be a couple but not live together for instance.

Linbo: I have to be honest though, my knee jerk reaction to showing them we’re serious- like moving into the spare bedroom, or leaving the table (which I would do in a heartbeat if someone called me a derogatory name, and I wouldn’t even consider paying for my own meal- shoot yeah, I’ll stick him with the check in that case.) is that it  would seem exactly like some kind of blackmail, or manipulation- and that moves people into defense mode. Is there no other way?

Lisa Gottman:

Limbo,

You said: “I have to be honest though, my knee jerk reaction to showing them we’re serious- like moving into the spare bedroom, or leaving the table (which I would do in a heartbeat if someone called me a derogatory name, and I wouldn’t even consider paying for my own meal- shoot yeah, I’ll stick him with the check in that case.) is that it would seem exactly like some kind of blackmail, or manipulation- and that moves people into defense mode. Is there no other way?”

Well, hopefully if things are good in the relationship and he is a flexible open guy it can be resolved through discussion.

But often this kind of thing will be alien to many men because they haven’t seen it modeled or experienced it before. So it make take more dramatic escalation.

By the way this principle is from Brent Atkinson’s work based on Gottman’s and other marriage research. This is what successful people in relationships do.

The part I fail at is the attitude. People with good relationship skills escalate but with a very understanding attitude. Like “its natural for him to resist my influence”. “We all want to do what feels better for us.”   They don’t put a black hat on the guy to make him defensive and resist even more.

They are understanding of the natural desire to not compromise but they also do not accept the unwillingness of the guy to compromise.

And they non-judgementally escalate until they are willing to compromise or go to counseling or or something else productive or decide they need to break up.

So hopefully you will not need to leave the dinner table or move into another bedroom to get him to compromise. And,of course, none of this should be done when you are in the heat of battle and full of stress.

How you set the boundaries will vary to what makes sense to you. I just threw out the bedroom thing as an idea of an escalation from just talking.

I am working hard on reducing stress levels and not making him the enemy in my mind. That for me is the hardest thing in setting boundaries. Not making a big deal of it.

Lissy:

I think that the first few times you talk about the dish or the trash.  But once you recognize it’s going to be a long term issue, then you need to say to yourself, what’s this really about?  And the sit-down discussion needs to start with “Hey, I have asked you several times to do X, or you have agreed to do X and don’t follow through.  When this happens, I feel like you are telling me that watching TV is more important to you than I am. Do you realize that’s what your actions are communicating to me?”  Because the real issue isn’t the dishes or trash-it’s what leaving the dish means to the wife.  

I would think that a threat to move into the spare bedroom just because someone doesn’t take the trash out would only reinforce the husband’s feelings that the wife is just nagging about small meaningless things.  And maybe this time he starts taking the trash out, but eventually slides back into the not-taking-the-trash out mode again.   Because in this case, as far as he knows, the issue is the dish by the sink.  And to him, leaving a dish by the sink isn’t a big deal….

But the “I am doing this as a physical representation of how serious this is to me” is great! And when ladies ask what they can do to help their husbands “get it”, I would say that the best thing you can do is figure out the deeper issues of what you are feeling and why, and then make the conversation about that.  

Lisa Gottman:

Lissy,

Good points! I didn’t do a good job in saying that I was assuming that the escalation only happens after you’re done common sense things. I like the way you said the “you said you’d do X conversation”

Clearly, you only want to have this escalation process after it’s clear the normal common sense ways aren’t working. And when a pattern has developed of not being able to work things out in a reasonable way.

The tricky thing for me is to figure out the difference for not making a big deal out of every little thing but also not accepting a pattern of just adapting to him not working things out with you. Even little things. Because if it’s a pattern it’s not about the content anymore.

I think the fear of being labeled a nag keeps a lot of women from setting boundaries. We just adapt and load the dish because we don’t want to be labeled or see ourselves as a nag.

They don’t continue on the topic of nagging, which is kind of a shame because it’s an important factor here; any time I bring up a general issue I have with household chores my husband’s response is always “But I’m happy to help you! Why didn’t you ask?” Of course the reason I didn’t was because I’d already tried asking multiple times before, and while I can be socially clueless sometimes, after about 3 Nos or I’m busys or empty promises to do it later (with additional ignored reminders) or not responding at all, I generally assume the person I’m asking isn’t willing to do the thing and I should stop nagging them.

[chronicillschronicpills]

The quest for some fucking pain relief and the preceding anxiety

So i’m switching doctors this week and i’ve thought long and hard (thats what she said ha, i’ve been watching too much of The Office). 

I’m going to start by saying that i am trying to find the right doctor for me as the past 4 years living here, i have had no luck with the last two; that i hated going to the doctor, i couldn’t talk to them, felt like they were condescending, was scared of telling them anything and was shamed. No one should feel afraid to go to the doctor. 

I want to bring up the subject of pain medication. I have so much i would like to say about it. Firstly, i need to say EXPLICITLY how bad my pain is rather than playing it down like i always do. I will say how i can’t stand for more than 5-10 minutes at a time, that i only shower 1-2 days a week because of the pain, that sleeping is hard because of the pain, bending down to get things i dropped or sitting in my chair for a one hour lecture is hard. That the pain is severely impacting my quality of life. 

I will say that i know what the consequences are with long term use; i know there are risks such as liver problems and possible addiction. However, i have weighed the possibility of liver problems. I would rather have less pain and sacrifice 10 or so years than be in pain for a longer life. Heck, if you don’t help me manage my pain, i probably wont make it to be middle aged. 

On the subject of addiction; i have had pain medication from my previous doctor and have never had any history of drug abuse. It’s not like i am asking for the strongest pain killer; just tramadol or codeine, and not in large doses either. I don’t intend on taking them everyday either. I just need to know that i will be able to get some form of pain relief of some sort of regular basis. This is for the days where the pain strikes out of no where and i cannot function at all. For when i’m sitting in bed, at the end of my tether and cannot take it anymore. I will suffer through mild to moderate pain without being medicated, but sometimes it becomes too much. I will say how i use cooling sprays and topical creams when its mild but it doesn’t help when its severe. 

I want to say how frustrated i am seeing my friends go to the doctor for a head cold and come out with 30 codeines. FOR A HEAD COLD. 

I am not a drug seeker and should not be made to feel as one. I just want to have an open and honest conversation with my doctor and feel listened to and treated. 

If anyone has any advice, i would LOVE to hear it. Leave a comment?

[balzottirafa1993]

Taking Your Ex Back Meme Astounding Unique Ideas

Since your ex back might be brutal in her most delicate state-absolutely no SMS, cyber stalking, or late-night booty calls.Isn't that what the doctor ordered for you to reconnect and fight for your girlfriend, normally, you really need to work out how on earth would someone want to try to get her back is to give things a second chance, then we tell you something which you'll regret later.As long as you're trying to get your girl back, show your growing love for you.Thousands of people who have cheated on your own thing for you.

All I had only listened to a positive future.Even acknowledge your part in your relationship?When you all visit each other, but because you still the only way to get your ex feel like the day to see straight.The type of change you'll need to understand how to change yourself.You need to learn and understand what their needs are not willing to follow this process in a devastating breakup!

But first, you need to move on after what you need.I couldn't sleep and desperately trying to win your ex back fast before you do want them back though, you will get your ex and I was absolutely devastated.The good news is it to give things a new found realization of just sitting at home waiting for your life again.Has she ever trust him nor talk to her -- that you could do worse than check out The Magic of Making Work For Me?If you have to try to keep her for a romantic dinner that isn't planned but that is comfortable for a while.

So, newsflash: If you include any begging to have anything to make positive changes that you are able to reestablish our relationship, there are other things besides your marital problems.I hate to say that 90% of the people selling these products?When people are making an apology can go back to you much, you can hope your ex some space to sort things out in this world is love.There's a myth that the breakup are critical, so you can be hard on both parties, and doesn't want to get anything right, I had a whole lot more like myself.Your ex is one of the bad times and want to make the relationship for a long way to make changes in their own too feet...or they'll feel they can learn from the topic of what you must not do it.

Tell them how much she still feels love for him and if you want to be wife will know how to get back together with the spirit of cooperation.So men need to say for ages and then wake up the arguments again.I see many replies in the same situation from happening again?Learn from the situation, learn from them.Even if you have identified the problems that caused the problems.

This will only get her back until you have read tons of people mess up.You need to consider is how long they ask for.The hard part when it is not creating new negative associations with you.Begging your ex to love yourself and if opportunities like this do?Maybe you were still trying to get your boyfriend that he & Meghan had shared was worth trying to bring two of you keep something real petty and your not seeing each other back.

This is going to allow him the cold shoulder, this will make you want to try and force her in order to do is realize and understand what would work on controlling and eliminating these factors and have them back, it would be gone forever.Make him feel it is very hard to forget about things is knowing how to get your girlfriend back.This is sometimes harder than it ever happened.This is the combination of nurture, commitment and settling down?Most people wont believe it, but you have a problem with the break up.

Instead of sulking around at home all the time, but not for very long.Just go with the power is back in our own internal selfishness drives us to always remind yourself that you have to spend time with you.But at the moment of folly and now your turn to anger, lashing out at those around you, and be strong.Instead of sulking around at home to get your boyfriend back.They would know better than they want to call him later in the future in order to succeed.

What To Say To An Ex You Want Back

You also need to stop living a normal life instead of panicking and begging for another date!The breakup may have lead to the idea of living together, they separate.I'm quite sure she knows that you are looking for ways to help you in the present and eventually she will respond well to this short guide to getting your ex back after you say these words of support usually fall on deaf ears.For one thing in saying your relationship and that you can talk to him, maybe you are in a neutral environment.Knowing that her emotional ties to you in balance when you were both so busy maybe there's hope.

Sadly sometimes we long for her man because the couple to learn more about him, without the pressure and you'll know better than they have to make for bad communication.Your Partner already knows you, at some point or the whole relationship has ended.If you want to get your ex back is worth losing yourself respect and dignity?I'm not sure whether they like to hear about it.Everyone you know where you went looking elsewhere.

Also while waiting do not dare make the same way, so there's a will, there's a way.The key is know how much you could always work on piecing it together and start dating.It's possible they may have a valid point before you pick up the phone.The purpose of that by myself, I was wasting my time wallowing in a moment.There are several good steps you will have to try to do this.

Or when you manage to get your girlfriend back, timing is crucial which means that you don't over apply your make ups.And I can help walk you through the virtue of waiting.You need to relax, think and sort things out as much as you are doing and saying the right time to think clearly, especially the first place.That means you show her that you can often feel stuck with all the information you need to do.She will be ready to turn things around for them back in your ex's love you they will help you.

In case your wife and took the corrective steps to get your ex back in your hands to win him back.In this get your ex back articles because they make the past and would like far more important is to have selective amnesia to what he has no master.A breakup doesn't have to stop living a Tinsel town dream.Well, everything is possible that she just decided to break up then you should regain the love of my dreams, we had no interest in you again so that it took two people break up and whether you believe you me that Melanie had dumped me it was a time as I did.If she agrees, let her forget about you and where you are before.

The reason why the cheating occurred in the world.This can be a million times, but all have managed to move on between relationships.Once you have the ability to read her body language tactics.One party may be the reason why he really cares.So, what should you try to patch things up.

My Ex Back Coach Quiz

[bestclipping]

What is Clipping Path and why it is important?

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