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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 3 years ago

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RESISTERE TENTATIONEM: CAPITULUM II

TĒCTUS: Covered, concealed, hidden, having been covered, hidden or concealed

Pairings: Damian Priest x Reader

Warnings: +18, mature content

Editor: @thenightmareismyreality

Tag: @ziasaph , @theworldofotps , @alyhull , @bellalutionn , @aerynscrichton , @serpantscorpio8497 , @ava-valerie , @omegasshyghuleh6661ghosts , @squirreledelman , @cazxcx , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @bayley-no-friends , @waywardwrestlewritingwaif , @sassymox

Notes: I would like to thank @letsgivethisonemoreshot , for not only being my partner in crime with this trilogy but also being one of the best friends someone could ever have 😘 This is fully written in Damian’s POV. If you’d like to check out my previous works, you can find them on my Masterlist

Want to hear a joke that’s really in poor taste? The Mother Superior of the famous Mary Magdalene Convent (isn’t that ironic) is being accused of hosting ‘parties’ to the oh so loving convent donors. And you know who isn’t invited to those parties? Jesus Christ. Because the Devil sure loves to be a part of them! Drugs, orgies, alcohol, prostitution, even black masses... you name it! Everything that is unholy happens in the so-called house of holiness, and if that isn’t a bad taste joke, I don’t know what is.

So here I am now, driving towards the Devil’s den: the Mary Magdalene convent for three torturous days of interviews. Out of all of the reporters from The New York Times, of course I was the one who drew the short straw and got assigned this article. Some people see this as a career changing opportunity... a blessing, but me? I see it as a fucking curse! I don’t like religion, I don’t like churches, I don’t like priests and I sure as hell don’t like nuns! Anything that has the word “holy” in it, I prefer to be as far away as I possibly can from. But today was not my lucky day….no, today was the day that I was going to be tested. The only thing I’m hoping for is to not fail.

I knocked on the convent’s door and a young lady answered me.

“Hi, good morning. I’m Damian Priest, reporter from The New York Times and I’m here for an interview with” I looked down at my notepad “Mrs. Y/N L/N? Whom I believe is the Mother Superior”

The young girl only nodded once and motioned for me to follow her, without saying a word.

I followed her in, mesmerized by the size of the convent, the whole place was fancy as fuck on the inside. Art pieces from famous painters were displayed on the walls, modern furniture, dim lights that made the place look cozy and inviting. *What a scam* I thought to myself. The young lady in front of me suddenly stopped walking and pointed towards the door in front of her before turning around and leaving.

Presuming that it was the Mother Superior’s office, I knocked on the door twice before someone told me to come in. You see, when they told me I was going to be interviewing the Mother Superior of a convent, the last thing I expected was for her to not only be beautiful, but young (considering I was under the impression that women in that position were around sixty years old). She was breathtaking to say the least! Soft features, her skin had an angelic glow to it and there was something in her eyes that trapped you in them...something you could not turn your gaze away from no matter how bad you wanted to.

“Mr. Priest, please sit down” She smiled

I nodded and sat on the chair in front of her desk

“Thank you for taking some time out of your busy schedule to speak with me, Mother Y/L/N-“

“Please, call me Y/N” Her sultry voice spoke

“Y/N” I tested the word on my lips and it sounded oddly pleasant

She smiled softly and...fuck she’s gorgeous! Her beauty was a painful and constant reminder of what you couldn’t have, couldn’t touch, couldn’t-“

“Mr. Priest?” She said softly

“Damian”

“Damian, would you like something to drink? Coffee, water, juice, tea perhaps?”

“No, I’m good. Thank you” I answered, while grabbing my notepad and a pen out of my backpack. Clearing my throat, I said “Can we get started with the pre-interview?”

“Of course” She smiled widely and reached for a cigarette pack on top of the table, which made me raise an eyebrow

“We all have our dirty little secrets, don’t we, Damian?” She asked, licking the cigarette filter before sucking it

*Am I going crazy?* I thought to myself

“Damian? Your first question is?” She giggled

“Ummm” I cleared my throat once again “Y/N, recently the convent was involved in a huge scandal involving drugs, prostitution, orgies and black masses. Would you like to clarify why an institution that’s deeply connected to the church is in the middle of something so profane?”

She grinned “God is in the most profane things, Damian. After all, the sinners are the ones who need Him the most, aren’t they?”

“I’m not sure if I follow-”

“You see” She took a long drag on her cigarette and walked towards me “God is our Lord and savior. He forgives us from our sins, grants us forgiveness to our most foul actions” She sat down on the chair beside me “If you steal from someone and repent; He’ll forgive you, kill someone and repent; He’ll save you, cheat on your wife with the hot, young next door neighbor and repent; He’ll brush it underneath the carpet and pretend it never happened” She shrugged “God doesn’t judge, Damian. He only forgives” She leaned forward on the arm of the chair, until she was uncomfortably close to me “So if the big boss himself doesn't judge anyone, then why should I?”

“And what does judgment have to do with drugs, orgies and sin?”

She smiled “How can God forgive you if you don’t sin, Damian?”

“And how can God forgive his so-called followers who incite others to sin, Y/N?”

“Incite others to sin?” She chuckled “Are you talking about the allegations, the donors or yourself?” She smirked

………………………………………………….......................

Since we’re so far from town I was informed that I would have to spend the night at the convent. They showed me my bedroom and it looked pretty fancy. King size bed, Egyptian sheets, expensive furniture. Everything was oddly normal, except for the weird dream I recalled having. I was at the convent, lost, calling for help because I somehow ended up locked in here. I was inside what looked like a large basement, the room was only lit by red lights, a faint smell of leather took over my nostrils as I heard someone moaning softly in my ear…a woman. And the weirdest thing was that I could’ve sworn I felt her breath against my ear. Needless to say I woke up with my dick as hard as a rock and had to spend a solid thirty minutes trying to get rid of a very painful boner, which did not leave me no matter how many times I came. Half hard and inside a convent...yeah, I’m definitely going to Hell!

“How did you sleep, Damian?” Was the first thing I was asked when I walked into the Mother Superior’s office in the morning. Something in her voice told me she knew exactly what I had done underneath the shower.

“Good”

“I bet you woke up feeling much better after a good night of rest, right?” She smiled devilishly and I just nodded

“Would you mind if we took a tour through the convent at some point?” I asked, quickly changing subjects

“Of course not! Let me know when you want one”

I nodded and began to ask my questions

“So, why do so many men keep coming and going from this convent? Seems like the place men shouldn’t be”

“The only men who come to the convent, Damian, are maintenance, the donors for the ‘thank you parties’ we host and now you” She smiled

“How do you get so many people to keep donating?”

“We don’t oblige anyone to do anything. People are still kind enough to see the work we do for those in need and they get touched by it. So God is the one who inspires them to donate, Damian. Not me”

“I’ve noticed a lot of fancy things here. Shouldn’t the money be going to something else?”

“The ‘fancy’ things you see are gifts from the donors. Things they felt in their hearts they should give us freely. We don’t buy things for the convent, apart from food. That’s one of the rules”

“Speaking of rules” I looked at her “Why are you smoking? Isn't that not allowed?”

“We don’t have rules against smoking here, Damian. The choice to do it or not is personal, but there are no rules for it. It’s not forbidden or a sin. Now, if you think nuns shouldn’t smoke, I suggest you pay a visit to the convents in Rome and give them a piece of your mind about their choices regarding health”

I chuckled at her comeback

“Why so cynical about our good intentions?” She licked her lips

“Because you don’t have any” I spat

“We live for helping those in need, Damian” She pointed towards my visible bulge

“Helping those in need, huh? And what do you get out of it?”

She walked towards me “Satisfaction in its purest form” She lifted one hand up and caressed my lower belly over my shirt “It’s incredible how much providing relief to others can trigger the biggest pleasure in our bodies...to see their eyes semi-closed in...relief is so rewarding to me”

I cleared my throat and shifted uncomfortably. “And just how needy do these people have to be?” I was speaking in financial terms of course

“Very needy” Her hand toyed with my jeans button “Some even have trouble sleeping due to their neediness, so you can see how a helping hand goes so well in this case...even the right mouth, you know to profess the Lord’s word”

“And just how many of these ‘charitable acts’ have you been involved with?” I felt my cock grow harder and harder

“Directly? Only when things get too hard, Damian” Her hand brushed against my hard bulge “That’s when I offer my help, so things can stop getting so hard and painful”

I gulped as I tried to shift away from her touch “So what, you just have all these other poor girls do your dirty work for you?” I try to keep my serious composure

“I’m not afraid of getting dirty, Damian. The girls do what they can, what they’re instructed to...but sometimes things get so hard that I have no other option but intervene” She pulled the fly of my jeans down “Then, once the seed of evil is finally spilled, things can go back to being soft again” She leaned in closer “Would you like a demonstration, Damian? I’m sure you have some kind of evil inside you that needs to be released” She asked with a sinister smile reaching her hand into the waistband of my boxer briefs

“I’m just here for work, Y/N, I have nothing to donate”

“Don’t worry about it. My girls will not be involved in this...it will be our little secret”

“I would like the tour now, please”

She smirked “Of course” and stepped away from me “This way” She went out the door as if nothing had happened

“Psycho bitch” I whispered to myself, as I pulled the fly of my jeans up and tied my hoodie around my waist to cover up the boner.

“This way we have the nuns bedrooms” She pointed towards a hallway “Kitchen, restrooms, archives, laundry room, storage for cleaning supplies, pantry” She explained each room, until we were outside “The patio, garden; where we cultivate flowers, fruits and vegetables, garage and the chapel is this way”

She walked towards a medium sized chapel in the middle of the garden, it looked like a regular chapel on the inside. It had an altar with a bible on it, a pulpit, a big cross, devotional statues of catholic saints, wooden benches and a confessional. Candles were lit up all over the place and everything looked normal. Scarily normal, until I noticed a few nuns who were sat on one of the benches staring at me with a weird look on their eyes

“Why are they looking at me like that?” I asked Y/N

“Like what?”

“Like, with...” I trailed off

“With desire?” She whispered in a mocking tone

I looked down at her speechless

“One could say that you’re a little too obsessed with the lust theme, Damian” She smiled “It’s all you can think about ever since you got here, dear. You should be careful” She licked her lips and pulled me by my hand towards her office again.

………………………........................................................

Later that night while I was trying to get some sleep, I began to hear some mumbling. Muffled voices kept saying something unintelligible and filling up the bedroom with mainly female voices. But one of the voices sounded too familiar to me...

I stood up from the bed and began to search in the room where those voices could be coming from, and as I almost gave up, I found it. A small hole of the size of a coin, in the concrete wall in front of my bed. Scooting closer to the wall, I knelt down and peeked through the hole, but weirdly enough, the room was pitch black. The mumbling started again and they soon became moans. Above all the moaning voices, one stood out to me. It was Y/N’s voice, she moaned softly while she said something I couldn’t quite understand. Her voice was filled with lust, her moans were pornographic and I could swear she was moaning my name. It both frightened and turned me on, so I did what any wise man would do. I returned to the bed, laid down and jerked off before falling into a deep slumber.

..................................................................................

“Wake up” Someone softly whispered in my ear

I quickly opened my eyes and my heart was beating at a frantic pace due to the fright.

A young girl was sitting down on my bed “Please, follow me” was all she said before standing up and leaving my room

I was so confused that I didn’t even bother to grab a t-shirt, so I just followed her down the hall barefoot and only with a pair of sweatpants on. Looking outside the hallway windows, I could see that the sky was still dark, which could only mean it was the late hours of morning.

She took me inside the laundry room and pressed a button underneath the folding clothes table. A door opened and a red light lit up the dark wooden stairs. I continued to follow her down the stairs, and we began to walk down a long hallway that looked more like a basement. The whole place had only red lights as the lighting source, so it took my eyes a while to get used to it.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked, but only received silence as a response

We walked for what felt like ten minutes until we reached a black wooden door with an iron door knocker. She knocked on the door four times and left.

“Is this a prank?” I asked myself, after five minutes of standing there alone. Suddenly the door opened, but I couldn’t see anything other than darkness ahead

“Hello?” I called from the doorway, but no one answered back

The thing that made me such a great reporter was my utter curiosity, and even with all my senses screaming ‘don’t go in there!’ I decided to listen to my curious side instead, and went into the room. As soon as I stepped a foot inside, the door behind me closed shut.

The room was pitch black and I stumbled across a few items. I placed my hand on top of what felt like a table so I could try to guide myself through the room, at least back to the door again so I could leave. When suddenly I felt several pairs of soft hands on my torso pulling me back.

“What the fuck?” I gasped in shock

But before I could make a move, my wrists and ankles were tied to a wooden surface and a red light turned on in the room

Five nuns were in front of me, staring silently at my body

“Leave” Someone said from behind me, and the nuns obeyed and left

“I would be lying if I said you weren’t a beautiful sight” Y/N said, and and walked in front of me

“You psycho bitch” I growled and pulled at the restraints “Let me go!”

She smiled “Oh Damian...You don’t want that!” Her nails softly scratched my lower belly “And neither do I”

“You’re sick! Let me go, you fucking-“

“Na ah” She slapped me across the face “I’m done playing these pretending games” She lit up a cigarette “Pretend you didn’t jerk off to my moans, pretending you don’t want to fuck me...that gets tiring” She dipped her hand inside my sweatpants and found my semi hard bulge “You’ve wanted to fuck me ever since you laid eyes on me” She giggled and I licked my dry lips

“Those sinful, filthy, thoughts you’ve had, Damian” She closed her fist around my erection “You wanted to know what we do here, right? We purge that demon out of you” And scooted closer until her lips brushed against my own with every word she spoke

“We send him away, so he can’t bother you anymore” She freed my cock from my pants and began to pump her hand up and down “We release you from the seed of evil”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I panted

Y/N knelt down in front of me and darted her tongue out, licking my slit “Give me the seed of evil, Damian” and gave an open mouth kiss on my tip “Feed me with it” Licked the underside of my shaft “Release yourself from what’s been bothering you ever since you got here” Darting her tongue out “Use me to purify your soul” And opened her mouth wider.

At such a sight I had no other option but to buck my hips forward…

And chase for my cleansing

If you’re comfortable with it, please let me know your thoughts on this? Feedbacks are always appreciated 🥰😘

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paula-of-christ · 3 years ago

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How was your trip to the convent? (If you previously posted about it, I can't find the posts.)

I haven't posted about it but now that I've been home for a month and a half, why don't I answer this ask lol.

So first off it was amazing, I am an Aspirant to the order now, and I am so so so blessed. I have gotten a mixed bag of support from my family, it's a hard one for them to accept but slowly they are becoming more and more accepting of it. I don't yet have a move-in date but fingers crossed that the day for me to become a Postulant will be Jan. 25th (2023), my favorite feast day!

I was nervous, barely able to eat the entire drive there! I drove nicely, and the scenes were beautiful. I mostly drove in silence, though I listened to "Called" by Fr. Casey Cole for half of it (10 hour drive ish, 5 hour audio book). I had tried to read the book a few years ago when I was an inquirer for the Daughters of St. Paul, but found it unrelateable at the time and now I realize it is because my calling wasn't with them as well as me not fully understanding the call to religious life. But, despite my nerves wracking me, as soon as I pulled up to the guest house where I would meet Sister, all of my fears and worries melted away. I sighed out and it felt like I had finally come home. I had no idea really what the sisters would be like, having never met a cloistered nun before. Most of the sisters I had met growing up didn't seem to be all that joyful (they were, meeting the same ones as I got older was different). And my experience with the Daughters of St. Paul was so.. not "wrong" but I was not fitting in. Even from that first day at Cor Iesu, I felt like I had taken my first breath of fresh air. It was as though I was a puzzle piece being slid into place after agonizingly checking every other possible spot. Cor Iesu, the Heart of Jesus, and of course, that is where I belong.

It was a very surreal experience to have Christ physically presence in every building. As of right now we have several buildings to live in around the property, since this property wasn't originally built as a monastery. But, every building has an Oratory, where we may go and Adore the Living God. I am still in awe of everything that was there. I had feared that some of the sisters wouldn't like me, or would object to my vocation, as I had experienced with my family and the FSP.

The monastery is out in the foothills of the Smokey Mountains. I don't currently live in an area with mountains but we do have some nice rolling hills and the beautiful Lake Michigan. However, when I say that the monastery is the most beautiful place I have ever seen I mean it. Every morning I would walk up the hill to get to the chapel after Matins and it was breathtaking. I would always have about 10-15 minutes that I could stay in the garden to watch the sun slowly trek above the mountains in the distance, though most of the time, everything but the immediate hilltop would be surrounded by mist and clouds. In this way, the sunlight would slowly start streaming through the mist to form little rainbows and streams of light that just barely touched the grass of the yard.

We would have Matins, Terce, and Benediction before Mass, and it was always done with the utmost care. The Office is chant-sung, in English, except for Compline on days we pray it after supper, and at that time we sing it. 13 of the most angelic voices, singing quietly together in praise to God. But most of all, the beautiful sound of silence as we all turn our minds and hearts to God once more in the Eucharist.

Having the day so structured and specific, having to ask permission for the little things, the silence. To most people that sounds like a world of stifled passions and boredom, but for me, it is the most free I have ever felt. It truly is heaven on Earth. I think I will finally get around to queueing up some of my stories from my time there, with names changed for the sake of anonymity of the sisters.

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prettyyoungandbored · 4 years ago

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Becoming Mrs. Wayne [The Dark Knight] Seven

Pairing: Christian Bale!Bruce Wayne x OC

Summary: Demetria Gallagher knew her cozy life would change the second she became engaged to Bruce Wayne. But what she doesn’t know is she’s getting more than what she agreed to. (I am trash at summaries.)

Warning: This chapter contains description of a heavy panic attack. Please read at your own risk.

Taglist: dragonballluver, disgraceful-marvel-trash, barikawho (Let me know if you want to be tagged in this!)

Author’s Note: A chunk of dialogue in this chapter comes from the movie and has been expanded on to fit the storyline.

“And when exactly is your mother planning to visit us?” Monsignor O’Malley inquired as he followed Demetria.

Demetria snapped a photo of the hallway before looking over her shoulder. “Most likely next month. Once I send her the photos , she’ll work on drafts and whenever she comes, we can all sit down and discuss how to go about the process.” She snapped her fingers. “You know what, I have her business card with me because she sometimes does work in Gotham City.”

She pulled out her wallet from her purse and handed Monsignor O’Malley the thing off white card. “She’ll be happy to answer any of your questions and or concerns.”

He smiled as he took the card. “This is awfully generous of you, Ms. Gallagher. We can’t tell you how grateful we are.”

“It’s the least I can do,” she waved her hand. “Both Bruce and I want to make sure you, the sisters, and the boys are taken care of with whatever you need.” She paused. “How are the boys doing?”

“They’re wonderful.”

“Oh good! I was actually wondering if I could go say ‘hi’ or-.”

“Unfortunately the boys are on a field trip with the sisters.”

Demetria nodded understandingly, trying to hide her disappointment. “Absolutely.” Then an idea hit her. “Do the nuns teach the boys?”

“Some do. We’ve been thinking about incorporating more schooling into the boys schedules, but we’re a little short staffed and not all the nuns feel comfortable teaching certain subjects.”

“I’d love to step in,” Demetria offered.

Monsignor O’Malley raised an eyebrow. “Oh? What is it you would teach?”

“I’m excellent at English. All levels. I was a TA my senior year of high school. I even minored in it in college.”

Monsignor O’Malley nodded his head, impressed. “Well, if it doesn’t interfere with your schedule-.”

“I don’t have one,” she laughed.

He chuckled. “Then I suppose it’s something we can try out. Are you free next week?”

Her eyes lit up. “Absolutely!’ I would love that!”

Before she could say more, the sound of her phone ringing cut her off. She gave Monsignor O’Malley an apologetic smile as she dug into her bag. “Excuse me one second.”

She glanced down to see it was a reminder that she had to start getting ready for the fundraiser.

“Please excuse me, but I’ve got to head out,” Demetria said. “Remember, if you have any questions, you have my number as well as my mom’s.”

“Of course. I also look forward to discussing you working here.”

“I do as well.”

The two shook hands and Demetria headed out of the orphanage.

She had taken Bruce’s Cadillac XLR, seeing as it was the only semi-low-key-looking car he owned and the only one she didn’t get anxious driving. She wished he had owned something a little less glamorous for trips like this, hating how it made her look, but it was what it was.

As she she opened the driver’s side door, she noticed a photographer snapping her from the distance. The two stared at each for a moment, acknowledging just what was going on. She exhaled softly, mentally reminding herself to keep it together.

Since her essay was published, the media outlets had backed off a bit. The Gotham Times were still insistent of doing a piece on her and published one on her, but it turned out to be a dud as no one close to her would speak to them with the exception of her former News Director and the Head Booker, her other boss. It also helped that a local mob boss was mysteriously killed and the news decided to fixate on that.

She gave him a quick, tired smile before she slid inside and closed the door, driving off.

===================================================

Back at the Wayne Penthouse, Bruce adjusted the cuffs of his pristine white dress shirt as he made his way down the stairs.

Alfred wrapped up his conversation with the party planners and turned his attention to Bruce.

“I think your fundraiser will be a great success,” Alfred remarked.

“Why do you think I want to hold a party for Harvey Dent?” Bruce questioned, almost annoyed at the thought of it.

“I assumed it was your usual reason for socializing beyond myself and the scum of Gotham’s underbelly to try to impress Miss Gallagher.”

“Very droll, very wrong,” Bruce responded, glancing up for a brief moment.

Alfred looked over his shoulder for a moment, noticing the party planners were not in the room. “Have you considered telling Miss Gallagher what it is you’re doing at night?” Alfred inquired in a voice low enough for Bruce to hear him.

Bruce glanced up. It wasn’t the first time this conversation came up between the two. “Soon.”

“Before or after you say ‘I do’?”

“When the time is right.”

“Perhaps she should truly know what she’s getting herself into.”

Bruce stopped in his tracks. “What are you implying, Alfred?”

“Miss Gallagher has given you every ounce of herself.”

“Who says I-.”

Bruce’s attention was caught by the low sound of the television. He looked over to find GCN airing what appeared to be a figure of Batman, hanging with a rope around it’s neck on a building. The lower third read “BATMAN DEAD?”

Demetria walked down the stairs and into the living room, tightening the belt on her cozy white bathrobe when she saw Bruce and Alfred staring at the tv. Curious, her eyes darted to the tv when she saw the lower third.

Her blood ran cold with disbelief and shock, heart dropping into her stomach.

The camera cut back to GCN anchor, Mike Engel.

“Be aware, the image is disturbing,” he warned.

The camera then cut to a man dressed in a cheap Batman getup, his plump cheeks spilling out of the cowl. He was sat on the floor of what looked like the back kitchen area of a butcher shop with a silver cart and a large pieces of animal meat hanging behind the victim. He had his hands tied behind them, his face lowered to the game.

“Tell them your name,” the camera man said in a menacing, sing-song voice.

“Brian Douglas,” the fake Batman answered weakly.

“Are you the real Batman?” There was a childish, teasing tone in the voice behind the camera to a point where it was menacing. It was almost as if whoever it was took immense pleasure in this man’s torture.

“No.” Brian was barely hanging on.

“No?” the voice repeated back, almost in a whine to mimic Brian’s pain.

“No.”

“No?” The voice giggled. An arm reached over and pulled the cowl off Brian. “Then why do you dress up like him?” The camera pulled back, the arm dangling the cowl in front of Brian. The voice laughed a stomach curdling “Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!”

“Because he’s a symbol...that we don't have to be afraid of scum like you,” Brian retorted with a slight bit of courage in his weak tone.

“Yeah. You do, Brian.” The hand grabbed the side of Brian’s face, the camera coming in close. “You really do.”

The hand pulled the top of Brian’s head as the man whimpered. The hand turned back and stroked Brian’s cheek. “Oh, shh shh shh.”

Demetria shook her head, her stomach growing weak. Bruce’s eyes fixated on the TV, his expression stone cold with eyes colored in disbelief.

“So,” the voice continued on, “you think the Batman's helped Gotham? Hmm?”

Brian didn’t respond.

“LOOK AT ME!”

The roaring voice caused Demetria to jump back, her hand slapping on her mouth.

The camera swung around to reveal the person behind the voice, the sight causing Demetria to yelp, “Jesus Christ!”

The red smeared smile was complimented by his chalk-white foundation and accentuated the long scars on the sides of his face. Two lazily painted black eyeshadow covered his eyes and he revealed his dark yellow teeth.

“You see, this is how crazy Batman's made Gotham. You want order in Gotham, Batman must take off his mask, and turn himself in.”

It was something behind the clown that Demetria recognized. A memory popped up in her mind, her jaw dropping at the realization.

“Oh, and everyday he doesn’t, people will die. Starting tonight. I’m a man of my word.”

As the camera switched around, the man let out a menacing cackle as Brian screamed in the background. Demetria, overcome with her realization and the man’s grim promise, hurried up the stairs, Bruce and Alfred watching her. Bruce turned off the television and glanced at Alfred who shot him a look. He gave the old man a nod, indicating the message was received.

In their bedroom, Demetria grabbed a notebook from her nightstand as well as a pen. She began writing hurriedly, her cursive handwriting slightly smudged from the pen. Upon finishing, she ripped the page from her notebook and folded it. She reached back into the drawer, grabbing an empty envelope and shoving the folded paper in there. She licked the envelope, sealing tightly with her fingers and placed it back into the drawer.

Just as she went to close the drawer, she heard the door unlock and grabbed her anti-anxiety meds.

Bruce entered the room.

“Everything ok?” he asked, gentle concern laced in his tone.

She waved her hand. “Yeah, yeah. Just that video was, uh, pretty overwhelming to watch. I’ll be fine in a few minutes.”

He eyed the pilll bottle in her hand. “You know you should probably put that in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.”

She chuckled. “You’re right. I’m just used to putting them in nightstand drawer. But considering we’re having a bunch of random people over, I guess you’re right.” She paused, a smirk playing on her lips. “Should I leave some viagra in a little bowl for our older guests trying to impress their much younger dates?”

He sat beside her on the bed, smirking at her. “I don’t have any because I don’t need it.”

She hummed, patting his leg. “I wouldn’t say that.”

He pulled her close, his breath hitting her lips. “Not funny.”

“Oh, but it is. It really is.”

She gave him a chaste kiss, nuzzling her nose against his. “You think maybe we should cancel this party? I mean, I don’t think it’s safe.”

“We’re going to be fine,” Bruce reassured.

She sighed, realizing there was no point in changing his mind. “Then I guess I better continue getting ready.”

He chuckled. “Well, don’t get too excited, sweetheart.”

“It’s just...” she stepped back, “I don’t know.” Her fingers toyed the robed belt. “I figured you’d cancel the party and we could spend the night in here...” She continued to move back toward the bathroom area, throwing off the robe to reveal her naked body to him. “And I’d let you do whatever you want to me. But since you won’t cancel it...” She shrugged. “Oh well.”

Bruce could feel his pants grow a little tight and he was ready to have her pay the price. His hungry eyes stayed on her, like a lion ready to pounce on it’s prey. “You get back here. Right. Now.”

She shook her head. “I have to get ready.” She pointed to the tent in his pants. “I suggest you take care of that situation before you leave this room.”

She grabbed the robe from the floor and closed the door behind her, locking it so Bruce wouldn’t try anything.

She exhaled and ran a hand through her damp hair. She wasn’t sure how long this party would last, but she had to make sure Batman got her letter.

==================================================

Bruce waited outside near the helicopter landing pad, his hands in his pockets. He watched as the navy blue sky took over the sunset, but once he turned his head, his breath was taken away by an even more beautiful sight.

Demetria walked out on to the helicopter landing pad, her black hair in an updo with long, curled strands of hair framing her face. Her navy blue gown was strapless with a subtle reverse sweetheart neckline, and hugged her small curves just right before flowing out on to the floor. Her makeup stayed on the subtle side with her eyeliner and mascara accentuating her warm, emerald green eyes and her Goldilocks lips were the perfect shade of pink.

“Is it too much?” she asked, stopping in her tracks. She put a hand on her stomach, feeling the knot inside tightening. Her face fell into a panic. “Oh shit, it is, isn’t it?”

He shook his head, his thumb grazing her cheek as he smiled at her adoringly. “You look incredible, sweetheart.”

Color filled her cheeks as her pink lips curved into a bashful smile. “You don’t look so bad yourself, Wayne.”

His lips gently crashed on to hers as he cradled the side of her face. For a moment, as they relished in their kiss, the world was still and time froze. Neither of them could remember the last time they shared such a moment, but they truly savored it while they still could.

Bruce pulled back, resting his forehead against hers, his lips hovering over hers. “For the record, you still owe me from before.”

She hummed against his lips. “I’ll take it into consideration.”

He smirked at her. “You’re lucky I like you. C’mon, let’s go.”

He took her hand in his, leading her onto the helicopter. The pilot helped her up first, Bruce following right after. As the two sat in the back, Demetria turned to him. “What’s the point of doing this again?”

He took her hand once again. “Grand entrances are fun. Plus, wait til’ you see the view from above.”

He felt her latch on to his arm as the sound of the choppers roared in. Soon enough, the helicopter began rising, the weight of the ground lifting. As it took off into Gotham City, Demetria watched the twinkling city below her.

As childish as it seemed, Demetria felt like Jasmine did on that magic carpet with Aladdin. Seeing Gotham from a bird’s eye view, the city looked beautiful and peaceful.

Bruce relished in watching his fiancé’s amazement, hoping he could make her feel this way for the rest of their lives.

She looked over at him. “You were right. This is incredible.”

She scooted closer to him, leaning back on his shoulder as she continued to look out the window. Bruce pressed a kiss to her temple, reaching his hand over to hers on her lap, clasping them.

Both stayed in the moment, wishing they could stay like this forever.

But once the helicopter scoured every inch part of Gotham, it was time to descend back onto the landing pad.

Bruce helped Demetria off the helicopter. Her eyes shifted to the once empty ballroom which was now filled with a large crowd inside staring at her. Her chest grew heavy, palms sweating.

“They’re staring at us,” she told Bruce.

He took her hand. “They see how you beautiful you look”. He gave it squeeze. “Remember, I’ve got you.”

She nodded and exhaled softly as the two made their way inside.

She followed him as the door opened to the gala room. All eyes stayed on them. She flashed a closed mouth smile at partygoers until her eyes met Harvey’s. It wasn’t until his familiar, warm smile that hers became more genuine and honest.

“Sorry we’re late,” Bruce announced. “Glad you started without us!” He let go of Demetria’s hand, clapping his together. “Where's Rachel?!”

Demetria eye’s turned to Rachel, who cringed slightly.

Bruce motioned to her. “Rachel Dawes- my oldest friend. When she told me she was dating Harvey Dent, I had one thing to say... ‘the guy from those god-awful campaign commercials? 'I Believe in Harvey Dent?' Nice slogan, Harvey.”

As the crowd chuckled, Demetria’s smile faltered even more. She was thrown off by the Bruce that was speaking. It was like the second his hand left hers, he’d become another man. He’d become like everyone else in the crowd - pompous and slightly arrogance.

He’s putting on a show for them, she thought to herself. This is not the real him.

“Certainly caught Rachel's attention,” Bruce went on. “But then I started paying attention to Harvey, and all he's been doing as our new D.A., and you know what? I believe in Harvey Dent. On his watch, Gotham can feel a little safer. A little more optimistic. But what he’s done for Gotham isn’t just the only good thing Harvey Dent has done.”

He then shifted his tone and his gaze, now looking at Demetria who’s heart dropped to her stomach.

“Harvey convinced his good friend from college, Demetria Gallagher, to move to Gotham,” Bruce continued, smiling at her. “It’s because of Harvey and Rachel that I was introduced to the love of my life.”

The crowd let out a collective “aw” as Demetria gave him a small smile.

“I spent years thinking I’d never find the ‘one’.” He turned back to the crowd. “I figured if I’m never gonna find her, why not have some fun? And I did.”

The crowd laughed. Demetria rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

“Then I ran into Rachel having a lunch with this beautiful woman and I couldn’t help myself. I asked her three times to have dinner with me.” Bruce shifted his attention to Demetria, taking her hand in his. “While I will never know who or what convinced you to say ‘yes’, all I know is that from the moment I left that dinner, I knew this witty, kind, beautiful woman was who I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Demetria, to say you are my heart and my soul is simply not enough. There will never be enough words or adjectives or uses of symbolism to describe how much you mean to me and how happy you make me. I love you more than anything.”

The crowd, once again, “awed” as he pecked Demetria’s cheek. He then grabbed two glasses of champagne off the server’s tray, handing one to Demetria. He then turned back to the crowd, raising his glass. “To-.”

“I just want to say something really quickly,” Demetria spoke up, putting a hand on Bruce’s shoulder. “If that’s, ok?”

Bruce smiled, her sudden burst of confidence bringing him pride. “By all means.”

She turned to the crowd. “You all know Harvey as your DA, but I know him as my confidant, my greatest friend, and above all, my family. He’s also my get out of jail free card, but that’s neither here nor there.”

Everyone laughed as Harvey shook his head. Demetria turned to her best friend, her smile fading a bit.

“Harvey, you’re selflessness and dedication to making Gotham City a safer one for its citizens is not just admirable, but also inspirational. You fight for the voiceless, the scared, and for those who want to make their home a better place. You’re one of the reasons Gotham has a brighter future.”

“So get out your checkbooks and let's make sure that he stays right where all of Gotham wants him,” Bruce toasted. “All except Gotham's criminals, of course. To the face of Gotham's bright future- Harvey Dent.”

Everyone toasted and took a sip of their champagne.

As the crowd went back to their party, Bruce turned to Demetria.

“I’m going to go outside for a bit,” he told her, pecking her cheek. “Make yourself comfortable.”

She opened her mouth to protest but it was too late - he’d wandered off. She sighed, wondering how he could he just leave her to fend for herself at their first gala together. She took a sip of her champagne, giving up and giving in to the situation at hand.

“You’re a very lucky woman,” an elderly woman marveled. “And quite adorable. I bet Martha would’ve loved you.”

“Thank you, that’s so kind,” Demetria remarked. “Were you a friend of hers?”

“We were both on the chair for many charities. Such a wonderful woman. If you’re interested, I would love to bring you aboard some of them and get you acquainted.”

“I would love that! I’m actually working with the boy’s home and helping them with renovations and whatnot.”

“How wonderful!”

“I’ve also expressed interest in helping them with schooling and whatnot.”

The gleam in the woman’s eyes softened. “Oh...really, now?”

“Yeah, I would love to do some teaching.”

“She’s going to do a fantastic job,” Harvey remarked, chiming in. He threw his hand around Demetria’s shoulders. “Those kids are going to be well looked after thanks to her.”

“I don’t doubt that,” the woman agreed before walking off.

Demetria turned to Harvey. “I think she realized I wasn’t one of them.”

“Who cares?” he shrugged. “But forgetting that, you’re seriously going to become a teacher?”

“I brought it up to Monsignor O’Malley about the possibility of teaching English. Besides, it would give me something to do that I actually like. You know, talking to them about novels and what it means to express yourself in your writing.”

“That’s fantastic!” Harvey remarked. “You would be perfect for that.”

“I hope so. How are you handling this...whatever it is?”

He sighed. “I’m...just here. How about you?”

“I wanna go into my bedroom and go under the covers and wait til’ everyone leaves.”

“Well for what it’s worth, you look beautiful tonight.”

“I’m working with what I’ve got.”

“Bruce is very lucky.”

“Yeah, he should be. But he decided to give up on the party.”

Harvey furrowed his eyebrows as Demetria motioned her head to the outside. He then turned his head, the two watching Bruce and Rachel engage in what appeared to be an intense conversation.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Demetria wondered aloud.

He quickly glanced over and took a look sip of his champagne. “Probably nothing.”

Her lips curved into a smirk as she eyed Harvey. “Don’t be jealous.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re getting defensive.”

“And you’re annoying me.”

“After that heartfelt speech I gave, that’s the thanks I get?”

“It was alright.”

She punched him in the shoulder, causing him to cringe. “Asshole. I gave a beautiful speech.”

He rubbed his shoulder. “Well, hopefully it will be just a nice ad one you’ll give at my wedding.”

Her eyes widened. “Shut the fuck up. You proposed to Rachel?”

“Not yet. I’m planning to.”

Her mouth hung open as she leaned in close. “Holy shit, dude! When?!”

“Well first there are some things I gotta-.”

“So you two are friends, yes?” another female guest inquired, cutting him off. Her arm was linked with a man who looked at least 20 years older than she did.

Harvey and Demetria turned to her. “We most certainly are,” Demetria agreed, pinching his cheek.

“So how long ago did you two date?” one man remarked, chuckling.

Harvey and Demetria’s eyes went wide.

“We never have,” Harvey answered.

The man elbowed Harvey, laughing. “Aw, c’mon son. It’s alright.”

“He’s basically my brother,” Demetria said.

The man shook his head as he and his concerned date turned away. Demetria and Harvey turned to each other.

“Oh my god these people suck,” she giggled to Harvey. “At least they’ll fund you.”

“Yeah, I could give a shit,” he retorted.

“Mind if I steal him for a bit?” Rachel asked, chiming in.

“By all means,” Demetria motioned.

Harvey and Rachel went off when Demetria noticed Bruce still standing outside. She made her way out.

“Doing ok there?”

Bruce turned to her, smiling. “So far, so good.”

“I love you but you’re not the best liar,” she chuckled, her fingers gently combing his hair. “Babe, if you want to leave, say the word and we’ll sneak out. We can go anywhere.”

“Tempting,” he remarked, smirking. “Where do you propose we go?”

She cocked her head back, shoulders shrugging. “Anywhere. We could literally get in a car and go anywhere we want.” She paused. “Anywhere you want.”

Bruce’s body turned to face her, giving her his full undivided attention. She set her glass down on the railing.

“While I think it’s sweet that you threw this for Harvey, I don’t want to be alone in a room with people I don’t know let alone give a shit about. I would rather be with you in the middle of nowhere where we don’t have to pretend we’re people that we’re not.”

His smile faltered, his eyes going to the ground. Demeteria shoulders tightened, fear creeping into her now uneasy stomach.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

“There’s something I have to tell you.”

She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “What did I do?”

He shook his head. “No, you did nothing wrong. It’s...” He sighed. “I never want to keep anything from you.”

“What have you been keeping from me?” she questioned, her voice low

He scanned the area as well as the inside of the ballroom. Realizing he wasn’t the safest, let alone most secure place, he leaned closer toward her. “I’ll go in the bedroom and grab a couple things. Go tell Alfred we’re heading out. We’ll meet at the elevator, alright?”

“Bruce-.”

He kissed her cheek and made his way inside. Bruce pushed through the crowd, fielding attempts of conversation from partygoers. She threw her hands up in defeat as an annoyed exhale left her mouth.

“At least we’re leaving,” she muttered under her breath.

========================================================

In their bedroom, Bruce grabbed a set of keys for one of the cars from his safe in their closet. Realizing it was probably best to bring her anxiety med, he went into the medicine cabinet only to find it wasn’t there.

He then remembered her saying she always kept it in the drawer in her nightside table.

Figuring she put it back, he went over to it and opened the drawer and there it was. When he pulled it out, he noticed an envelope underneath with ‘For Batman’ written on it.

He quickly glanced back at the door to make sure the door was closed. He then set down the bag and opened the envelope to find a handwritten letter.

My Night Friend ,

There’s something you need to know about that viral video of the copycat.

I recognize the kitchen in the video. It’s the Fatted Calf on East 28th. A guy I briefly saw in college worked there and I hung out with him in the kitchen while he was closing up the shop.

What people don’t know is that there’s a secret room. The guy told me the owner had it made to be used as a bomb shelter back in the day. It’s located right beside the freezer. If you can get into the boss’ office, there’s a special key inside a safe that can open the door. The Joker may be taking shelter in there.

Take what you will with this information. I hope it serves you well.

Sincerely,

Your Rooftop Friend

Bruce’s couldn’t believe what he was reading. His fiancé, the love of his life, was helping the Batman. The severity of the situation as well as time the huge piece of information made him realize he needed to get both of them out of the penthouse and into the Batcave. He could explain everything to her there.

Shoving the letter into the bag, he zipped it up and made his way to the door when something on the security camera screen made him stop.

It was The Joker followed by some henchmen.

He threw the bag in the closet hurriedly, closing the door, and made his way to the party. Seeing Harvey Dent close by talking to Rachel, he figured he’d had enough time to get Harvey to safety and then grab Demetria.

He came up behind Harvey, putting Harvey in a headlock as Rachel’s eyes widened in fear.

“What the hell are you doing?!” she exclaimed.

“They’re coming for him,” Bruce said, using his Batman voice. “Go grab her and get yourselves to safety.”

========================================================

Demetria spotted Alfred near the wall area. She made her way over, catching the old man’s attention.

“There you Miss Gallagher,” he greeted. “Are you having fun?”

“I feel like a zoo animal. I’ve had more people stare at me than actually talk to me. Anyway, Bruce and I are heading out.”

Alfred chuckled. “You and Master Wayne are a truly perfect fit.”

She eyed the room before leaning closer toward Alfred. “Alfred, he said he had something he’d been meaning to tell me. Any idea what it could be?”

Just then, the sound of a single gunshot silence the room. Everyone turned, including Demetria and Alfred, to see The Joker, the man from the video, enter the ballroom with his posse of men behind him wearing clown masks.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen,” he greeted in a sing-song voice.

His posse pointed guns at the crowd, a silent order to step back. The crowd formed a circle around The Joker.

Alfred, who was a few rows behind the crowd, stood in front of Demetria.

“Stay behind me,” he whispered to her.

She watched from behind his shoulder.

The sound of tray hitting the ground, broke the silence. The Joker looked back for a moment before turning back to the crowd.

“We are...tonight’s entertainment.” He grabbed a piece of shrimp from a table, stuffing it into his mouth. He looked around. “Only one question - where is Harvey Dent?”

He eyed around, pointing the gun at a group of women before ripping one of their glasses of champagne from their hands and taking a swig of it. He set back on the table and began questioning those he passed, occasionally grabbing at them.

“You know where Harvey is? Do you know who he is?”

He squeezed one guy’s cheek. “Do you know where Harvey is? I need to talk to him about something. Something little.”

He went up to an old white man. “You know I’ll settle for his loved ones.”

Meanwhile, Demetria felt someone grab her hand. She turned to find Rachel.

“We need to get you out of here,” Rachel whispered.

Demetria went to follow Rachel when she felt someone grab her hand.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going, sweetcheeks?” one of the masked men retorted.

He grabbed Demetria, despite her attempts to break free. Her heart rate quickened, stomach growing weak as the man pushed her in front of the crowd.

“Hey boss!” He called out. “It’s her!”

The Joker turned to her, his fixation on her making her blood run cold. She stood frozen and helpless. He got into her face. “So this is the future Mrs. Wayne. You’re also Harvey Dent’s best friend.”

He grabbed Demetria’s face, cradling it forcefully.

“Harvey is your best friend, isn’t he? Your buddy ol pal?” He let out a vicious cackle. “Possibly an old lover? An unrequited love? Either way, you’re somewhat of an asset to him.”

She moved her eyes, looking around as the crowd watched her in fear.

“C'mere, look at me.”

She whimpered, closing her eyes.

He tightened his grip on her hair “LOOK AT ME!”

She yelped, opening her eyes as tears filled to the brim.

“Please,” she begged, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Oh shh, shh, shh,” he hushed her teasingly. “Well you look upset.” He asked, pointing to scars on his mouth with his knife. “Is it these? Is it the scars? You wanna know how I got ‘em?”

She didn’t have time to answer, at least he didn’t bother to give her a chance to. She went to move her head when he grabbed her again. “Hey, look at me.”

She stopped moving, her eyes on him. “So, I had a wife, who was beautiful...like you, who tells me I worry too much, who tells me I oughta smile more, who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks.”

She squirmed when The Joker pulled her back. “One day they carve her face. And we got no money for surgeries. She can't take it. I just want to see her smile again. Hmm? I just wanted to let her know that I don't care about the scars. So, I stick a razor in my mouth and do this to myself. ”

She squeaked, frightened as he put the knife to his scars.

“And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves! Now I see the funny side. Now, I'm always smiling!”

He pulled her back, took the knife, and slashed her forearm, the sharp stinging, sensation causing her to let out a blood curdling scream. She collapsed onto the ground, blood spilling down her arm and onto the marble floor.

Demetria couldn’t move, her body frozen, mind unable to process what had just happened. She opened her mouth to speak, her chest stinging in pain and her head growing lightheaded as the Joker stepped on her bleeding arm.

“Please help me,” she begged in between her hyperventilating. “Please...I’m...I can’t...help!”

“Why doesn’t Harvey Dent come save his best friend?!” The Joker called out.

“Let her go!”

Rachel made her way. The Joker stomped on Demetria’s arm one last time.

Alfred rushed to her side. “Deep breaths, Miss,” he whispered. “Deep breaths.”

“Alfred...I’m gonna....don��t let me...”

“You’re going to be alright.”

“Step back!” one of the masked henchman ordered, pointing a gun at Alfred.

Alfred held up his hands stepping back from Demetria. The henchman walked away as Demetria continued to hyperventilate.

She was going to die in front of everyone. Her vision became blurry, her breath uncontrollable. She watched in what she thought would be her final moments Batman attack The Joker.

In and out of blackness, she heard glass shatter followed by footsteps.

Tears strolled down her face as she struggled to breathe, trying to hold on to whatever breath she had left, her body shivering. Alfred rushed to her once again.

“Don’t just stand there!” he cried out. “Someone call a bloody ambulance!”

He gave Demetria his hand, which she held onto tightly.

“Stay with me,” he told her. “Stay with me.”

But she wasn’t sure how long she could last. Between the chest pains and the pains from her wound and the light-headedness, she was barely holding on.

How badly she wanted to see Bruce....and how could he leave her like this?

__________________________________________________________________

Dress:

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#bruce wayne x oc #bruce wayne imagine #batman #batman imagine #batman fanfic #the dark knight #the dark knight fanfiction #the joker #christian bale #christian bale x reader #bruce wayne fanfiction #bale!batman

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dahniwitchoflight · 4 years ago

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KH: The Foreteller’s Animal Masks

This is half fun facts / half theory but basically it’s a list of which Sins/Foretellers are associated with which animals AND where the inspirations for the animal associations came from, since there’s actually a few different sources!

The first would be the Ancrene Wisse, which was a sort of field guidebook for Anchoresses (Female Abbesses/Monks/Nuns basically) containing rules of conduct and behavior

https://www.hermitary.com/articles/ancrene.html

This goes into many things that honestly have cool thematic ties with symbolism for stuff in Kingdom Hearts, which I could honestly make a whole post in it’s own for tbh, but for here were focusing on one passage:

“The wilderness is the solitary life of the anchoress's dwelling, for just as in the wilderness there are all the wild beasts, and they will not endure men coming near but flee when they hear them, so should anchorites, above all other women, be wild in this way, and then they will be desirable, above other women, to Our Lord.

In this wilderness are many evil beasts: the lion of pride, the snake of poisonous envy, the unicorn of anger, the bear of dead sloth, the fox of covetousness, the sow of gluttony, the scorpion with the tail of stinging lechery, that is, lust.”

So, we start out with a nice base for some of the Sin/Foretellers:

Ira - Wrath - Unicorn - Unicornis

Avaritia - Greed - Fox - Vulpes

Acedia - Sloth - Bear - Ursus

Invidia - Envy - Snake - Anguis

but then wait, here Gula/Gluttony is a Sow, a Pig, but in KH it’s a Leopard

As well as recently in KH, they’ve made it clear that Luxu/Luxuria is a Goat, not a Scorpion (As cool as a Scorpion would have been for Luxu’s emblem, but a bit too on the nose I suppose haha)

Well, interestingly enough, did you know that back when the 7 deadly sins was actually more like the 8 Evil Things once? And that they were also grouped into a Trio of their own?

(Despair as Tristitia being the 8th one, because it’s essentially the sin of falling to sorrow/sadness or giving up, of blinding yourself to other’s troubles and causing sorrow in return or being too sorrowful to act, later it was folded into Sloth as a lack of diligence)

But the 3 Major sin groupings was essentially the three Reasons that people would sin the deadly sins

Incontinence: Doing wrong because they couldn't help it. Or sinning from a lack of moderation or self-control.

Violence: Doing wrong because of anger, revenge or retaliation. Or sinning from by trying to force your will externally

Fraud/Corruption: Doing wrong on purpose in order to hurt other's. Or sinning from betrayal, lies and manipulation.

These three things form a sort of Unholy Trinity in opposition with the Divine trinity of Father-Son-Holy Spirit

And, very famously, Dante’s Inferno links these three groupings to three creatures from a famous bible verse describing the destruction of humanity via it's own nature:

Jeremiah 5:6 - “Therefore a lion from the forest shall slay them, and a wolf from the desert shall destroy them. A leopard is watching against their cities, every one who goes out of them shall be torn in pieces because their transgressions are many, their apostasies are great.”

A Lion, A Leopard and A Wolf.

Now based on Dante’s actual writing which grouping with which animal and which sins is often debated, but usually it’s roughly as follows:

Leopard of Incontinence: Gluttony, Greed, Luxuria (from Immoderation, Extravagance, Wastefulness)

Lion of Violence: Wrath, Pride (from Murder, Suicide, Squandering, Blasphemy)

Wolf of Fraud/Corruption: Envy, Sloth, Sorrow/Despair (Tristitia) (from Corruption, Thievery, Falsifier, Betrayal) (yeah... old timey people did indeed view what was essentially depression as a “willful” sin aka something people did on purpose to hurt themselves, like they drown in their sorrows willingly because of a refusal to heal themselves or as a willing corruption of their soul, nowadays if it existed would definitely be thought of a Leopard sin I’d think)

So here it’s very easy to see where Leopardos and Gula get tied together, because in KH the sin of Gluttony is lifted above the other’s in the group, which makes sense because being gluttonous for money is greed, being gluttonous for luxuries was Luxuria (or sex for lust)

And here also, the Sin of Pride/Superbia is again associated with the Lion as it is in the Ancrene Wisse (though it’s also associated with Wrath strongly as well, so no wonder MoM chose Ira to be the next leader after he was gone)

So in all likelihood, this means that the symbol of the Master of Masters is most likely a Lion of Pride, Superbia (and if he had his own union, it might be something like Leo or Panthera)

But honestly the biggest thing that definitely makes MoM the Lion of Pride is the passage in the Ancrene Wisse that elaborates upon the Lion of Pride, describing it as having “many cubs”:

“But the author continues the animal analogies, enumerating a classification of the sins. "The lion of pride has very many cubs," he states, and enumerates them: vainglory, indignation, hypocrisy, presumption, disobedience, loquacity, blasphemy, impatience, contumacy, contention, "airs and graces." “

Reminds me of both MoM’s many apprentices or Master Xehanort’s collection in the organization

Though the REAL reason is also because did you know when KH was still being thought of and designed, Nomura actually wanted to make Sora a Half-Lion Chainsaw Wielder and we all know Sora is secretly the MoM right lol

But anyway, that explains Gula being a Leopard

So then where did all this talk of Luxu being a Goat come from?

Well one reason could be that later on as the deadly sins got solidified as just the seven of them, and as their meanings changed from umbrella terms to more specific sins, their animal interpretations also started to differ:

Avarice/Greed = Toad/Frog

Invidia/Envy = Snake

Ira/Wrath = Lion

Acedia/Sloth = Snail

Gula/Gluttony = Pig

Luxuria/Lust = Goat

Superbia/Pride = Peacock

Also Ira with a Lion mask would be cool but can you imagine a Snail Aced or a Froggy Ava? lol

But it IS Cool to think that these “Modernized” animals could then become the emblems of the Union Leaders that inherited Ava’s legacy, since they are the newer versions of those Unions, obviously there’s no one to Inherit MoM’s legacy

But you could easily think of Ventus as the “Traitor” aka the scapeGoated 6th for the new group, leaving Frogs, Snakes, Lions, Snails and Pigs for the other five

(I wonder who I’d put with who... Ephemer, Skuld, Lauriam, Strelitzia and Brain... the only sin associated with Death would be Wrath (As Suicide) and the “Ira” position appears to be the one who inherits the leader, and it’s theorized Strelitzia was the circled name supposed to get the Book of Prophecies

So Strelitzia = Lion/Wrath

Ephemer and Ava always seemed to be the closest and he was the one who seemed to inherit her Legacy the most so he can get Frogs/Greed

Brain is similar to Gula in how they calmly investigate issues and try to uncover the truth and got extra information than the others, so Pigs/Gluttony for him

Lauriam was the poster boy for temptation into darkness, which is what Darkness was intended when his sister Strelitzia was killed, for him to be the first to fall to rage and grief, nice Aced parallel as the one everyone suspected of falling to darkness first so he gets Snails/Sloth, fitting for the flower elemental lol

and that leave Skuld and Invi which also makes sense as the parallel for the person who tries to intervene in conflicts and mediate for the group, so Skuld gets Snake/Envy

Neat!

But anyway back to Luxu, I think Luxu is represented by the Goat not just because of the above modern listings, but also because of the special place of evil that Christian religions tend to place on Goat itself

If the Lamb is the most common symbol of Jesus Christ, the Goat has always been a symbol of the Evil of Lucifer. Sheep and Goats, despite being so similar, have always been seen as this symbolic duo. Sheep and Lambs being submissive, complacent, docile, while Goats are crazy, willful, destructive and etc likely because since they are so close in nature, they are basically seen as the Good and Evil version of the same animal, a Goat is essentially a heretical false Lamb

They are very commonly associated with the Devil/Lucifer himself and goats have always gotten the short end of stick, all the way back to the old tradition of using goats as well, scape-goats literally. The practice of singling out a particular creature or person and placing all the sin and blame onto it, and then driving it away

Luxu is singled out from the group, likely given the role of “Traitor” amongst the six of them and then is forced into essentially exile to the future by MoM where he can do nothing but watch and wait, never able to interfere or meddle with anything

And this reasoning of the Goat fits Luxu above all others.

So there we have it, finally at the end:

Ira/Wrath - Unicorn/Unicornis

Avaritia/Greed - Fox/Vulpes

Acedia/Sloth - Bear/Ursus

Invidia/Envy - Snake/Anguis

Gula/Gluttony - Leopard/Leopardus

and if Luxu and MoM had union names, (which seem to be just be taken from the genus of the animal directly) they’d likely be:

Luxuria/Lust - Goat/Caprini

Superbia/Pride - Lion/Panthera

But I think the Most Interesting Thing to glean from all of this, is going back to the 3 Groupings for the 8 evil things, can you imagine if KH ever decides to give MoM a little backstory, and a figure based on the Wolf of Fraud/Corruption, emblem of Despair came into the picture somewhere?

Something that might look a little like this?

Hey that’s interesting, isn’t this the special secret boss Dark Hide from Aqua’s Fragmentary Passage? Y’know, that journey all about Aqua falling into the pits of Despair where she then ends up fighting The First Real Pureblood Heartless she ever faces in the Realm of Darkness? Something that Aqua felt was Willfully and Intentionally Stalking her through the depths, instead of mindlessly attacking her?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQGONhqs0mU

Isn’t that interesting how all of things, they give this boss the opportunity for the player to see through it’s eyes, something very unique, and how it initially appears as a formless Darkness

And isn’t Darkness itself, given a will and a personality, now a figure in KHUX Dark Road, that has specific ties to the MoM, as Luxu describes as being a fellow student and/or old friend of MoM?

Could the Will of Despair manifested from darkness come to be a secret 8th apprentice of MoM?

Who knows, but it’s interesting how that symbolism lines up isn’t it?

#KH #Kingdom Hearts #KHUX #KHUXDR #Darkness

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thejugheadparadox · 4 years ago

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ok i talked abt rossetti + elizabeth siddal’s self portrait as part of my art history final 2 years ago and i am dying to know about christina. please

CHRISTINA ROSSETTI!!! i honestly barely knew anything about the portrait before seeing that post i would love to know more. i am so fascinated by christina georgina rossetti born 1830 died 1894, so she’s like ridiculously quintessentially victorian, she basically never knew another monarch. when she was a child she was angry and had a lot of tantrums, her and her brother the painter one dante gabriel were know as the two storms whilst their others siblings maria and william were known as the two calms (suuch classic irritating twee victorian fake middle class art family shit but i find it faintly endearing). she dropped out of school at the age of 14 due to a religious breakdown, and never went back. during and after that she was really fixated on christianity especially anglo-catholicism and its very specific doctrines. she was REALLY into it in a way the rest of her family werent (except her sister who became a nun i guess). she’d been writing poetry since she was very young, cus she’s from this eccentric art dynasty they played writing games as kids and shit - her maternal uncle was john william polidori who wrote the first published vampire story and was lord byrons doctor if that rings any bells? that relation specifically is sooo interesting to me bc its about legacy and who you are remembered as and whether youre noticed and also maybe youre gay? yk. i love it.

ANYWAYS. she was so into religion that it stopped her getting married twice. she was engaged to the prb painter james collinson for a bit but broke it off bc he reverted to roman catholicism and she couldnt be doing w that shit. she later got engaged to charles cayley and also broke that off for religious reasons! Or At Least Thats What They Say. she also turned down a possible proposal (ppl dont know if he proposed and the whole affair is a guess) from john brett, which she wrote a fun mean poem about called no thank you john. anyway she never married and she pursued lots of Things but none of them really went anywhere, she wanted to be a nurse w florence nightingale in the crimean war but got rejected, she worked with “fallen women” in her 30s and 40s. shes not one of those tragic figures who never knew fame while they were alive tho, she was pretty successful and released multiple collections. she was publicly antifeminist and declined to sign petitions in support of womens suffrage but wrote this one unpublished poem called from the antique that explicitly expresses her dissatisfaction with her limited life as a woman.

she got ill lots, as is classic for old timey lady poets, like emily dickinson style. she got depressed lots and after her dad died her family didnt have much money. she wrote a lot about inadequacy, as a woman and as a person and most often as a servant of god (every fucking poem ends up about jesus i swear to god it gets annoying). her brother was more successful and her sister was more devout and she never seemed to get the things she wanted and she never really had any friends, especially female ones. almost every time she was published, it was by her brother, william michael, who also published her works en masse after she died, and we have explicit sources showing both her brothers would tell her not to publish poetry they deemed out of character or unwomanly. i dont mean to entirely demonise them as the Bad Guys of the story but i find it very.... interesting that when u look at her poetry that is available but not officially published there are both feminist poems and a couple of pieces that coiuld be interpreted as love poems towards women. there are (admittedly pretty unfounded as far as i can tell) theories that even more of them existed and were destroyed, but i should say we DO know that there are missing poems and destroyed scraps that pique ones interest i will say!

ive read her collected family letters and what stood out to me is HOW ridiculously fucking boring they are. i think theyre hiding something.. i am fascinated by all of it. she interests me. i have some kind of parasocial relationship with her and i feel like her work is SO easy to translate to modern day and what ppl our age are writing about like she wrote what is essentially lonely notes app poetry about religious guilt and sexual repression and hating herself like. god i sound like those ppl who say dantes inferno is fanfic but i think about it a lot and i think about her a lot and i would recommend a lot of her poetry... if anyone wants specific recs do ask. to me its a story about hiding and repression and wanting to be good. jesus christ okay u did not ask for this but youre getting it. you made me start thinking about her again this is on you.

#yeah i am sorry about THIS my god #ask #thorinlesbian #christina rossetti

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solrosan · 4 years ago

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TOG ficlet: anorexia mirabilis

cw: eating disorder

“Explain this to me again,” says Yusuf, “as if I’m an uneducated infidel.”

From across the table, Nicolo makes a face at his choice of words. Yusuf ignores it, because he’s absolutely at a loss about what Christian fuck-uppery is currently possessing Nicolo. Over the course of two months Nicolo has decreased his food intake to be nothing more than water and a piece of bread as large as his palm per day. It has taken Yusuf a while to realise that this is different from how Nicolo observes lent or how he himself observes Ramadan and is instead a form of mortification and attempt to repent.

Nicolo is wasting away in front of his eyes and he can’t get through to him.

Finally, and with a sigh, Nicolo caves. “In my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ's afflictions, for the--”

“If you quote the Bible at me one more time I will kill you, my heart. I’ve not forgotten how to.”

Nicolo falls silent.

“Nicolo,” Yusuf says, gentler, and leans forward. “Talk to me. Why are you doing this?”

After a moment, Nicolo says, “I don’t know any other way. All the normal ways… It hurts, but I heal too fast.”

“But why do it at all?”

"If you live a life of nature, you are marked out for death; if you morti--”

“Nicolo!”

"If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."

“Stop. Quoting. The Bible.”

“I don’t know what else to say.”

“I want you to tell me why you’re doing this.”

“I am.”

“No, you’re not. Not really. Why, if Jesus loves you, would he want you to hurt yourself?”

“He sacrificed himself for us. He suffered on the cross, for us, for me.”

“So that you wouldn’t have to! Please, please remember that Jesus loves you and he doesn’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“You’re an authority on Jesus now?”

“I’m an authority on loving you and know for a fact if someone loves you, they don’t want you to do this.”

Nicolo shakes his head. “The things I’ve done in his name…”

“...are not made better by this. Nothing in your life is made better by this and you can’t convince me your god thinks so.”

Nicolo gets up from the table and leaves for the bedroom. Yusuf stands as well, but stops himself from following. He needs to find a priest who can talk sense to his partner.

Some meta ramblings under the cut.

Okay, yes, so I always go here. Sorry about that.

Anyway yesterday I read about anorexia mirabilis, also known as inedia prodigiosa or fasting girls, a “religiously inspired” eating disorder prevalent among nuns and other religious women in medieval Europe as a form of mortification of the flesh to mimic Jesus suffering on the cross (or in some cases, to get out of marriages).

This made me think, what would a medieval Catholic immortal going through a crisis of faith do, seeing how the most common mortifications for men (physical punishment) would have no long lasting effects on him?

I’m not entirely sure Nicky would go down this road, but yeah since I always go down it in every fandom I had to explore it.

#kaysanova #Nicolo di Genova #Yusuf Al-Kaysani #the old guard #joenicky #tw: eating disorders #ed fics #tumblr fic

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bapyess1r · 5 years ago

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Head Over Heels

4. Head Over Heels

Joe’s POV

I stared at the Bob Marley lighter, twiddling it between my fingers. Now and then I’d look at the girl’s number and smile. I quite liked her. “Samira…” I read aloud as I ran my thumb across her number.

“Joe boy!” My friend Craig snapped his fingers in front of my face, yanking me out my trance. I looked up at his joyful, gap toothed smile and snickered as Mark slapped a heavy hand on me shoulder, letting out a deep, guttural laugh. After Mark and I left McMullen’s, we met up with another mate at another pub. This one was a bit more fun; cornhole, table tennis, giant chess, giant jenga. Of course we went! And I was having a great time until we sat down for a breather and I started thinking about Samira. “Mate, this girl has you whipped huh?” He asked.

When I thought about it, she kinda did have me spinning. I smiled thinking about her dark coily hair and her eyes and the shape of her lips when she cracked a smile. I felt the warm n’ fuzzies! It was not at all natural to my habits to be this whipped but she made me wanna get used to it.

“What was her name again, bruv?” Mark asked.

“Samira.” I said quite proudly. I deserved a fucking gold star for that one I tell ya!

“So! You got a girl’s number! Stop gawkin’ at the number and start drinkin’!” Craig chimed in, grabbing his beer and chugging easily. I smirked and picked up my own pint. I was so bolloxed that I could barely hold the glass up to begin with. But still I clinked glasses with my friends and down my entire beer in one sit.

“I’m ready fer liquor now- oi, waiter! Might I get… a bottle o’ whiskey, please.” I said, stopping a waitress as she skipped by. I had so many feelings about this. Not only did I get a girl’s number, I had real feelings for her. It’s worrying because…. “Who would like a bloke like me, eh?” I thought aloud again, staring into my glass.

“Mate, not this again-” Craig started up.

“Alright look bruv, do you like her?” Mark asked, shushing up our friend.

“Aye….”

“And you wanna see her again, yeah?”

“Yeah, I do, mate.”

“And you have her number?”

“For fucksake, mate, yes!”

“So then pick up the bloody phone and god damn call her!” He shouted, snapping his fingers in my face.

“Honestly, Joe, she wouldn’t have given you her number if she didn’t like ya.” Craig added. I took a long sigh and stared at my feet for a moment.

“I’ve gotta get super drunk fer that first, mate! She uh….. She’s very uh….”

“My god…. she makes you nervous-” I groaned and waved him off as the waitress arrived with my whiskey. Immediately, I twisted the cap and chugged a lot of it. “She does! She makes ya nervous!”

“Okay so what!? I’m gonna call her- I just…. I dunno what on earth I’m gonna say to her.” I sighed, shaking my head. The alcohol was starting to take effect and gravity seemed to almost defy me in every way.

“Just say you wanna do brekkie in the mornin’.” Craig said, gulping down the last of his pint. I nodded my head, sipping my whisky bottle like a soda.

“I’mna do it, mate….. I’ve gotta do it, innit?” I said, trying my best to work myself up to the challenge. I stood up to get my balance back and drunkenly hopped over the railing that closed us in. I grabbed my bottle and unlocked my phone as I walked down the street of the quiet town.

“Good luck, bruv!” Mark shouted making me laugh a bit.

I typed in the number from the back of the lighter and let my finger hover over the call button. I had to do it…. there was only but so many times I can meet someone and push them away. I had to try… With a deep breath and a swig of liquid courage, I called her. My heart raced as I anticipated hearing her voice on the other end.

“Hello?” The sudden click made my heart stop a moment and at the sound of her voice, my brain went blank. “Hellooo???”

“Oi! Is a….is this Samira?” I asked, snapping myself out of my drunken trance. Then I sighed. “Sorry, that was a um… a dumb question- of course it you. T-This is Joe. Ya smoked a joint wit me on the roof at the pub?” I suddenly started to babble absolute nonsense and I mentally kicked myself for it.

“I’m sorry who?” The voice said. My heart dropped.

“I-I um…...erm…. It’s- I’m soo sorry-”

“I’m fuckin’ with you.” She said with a light airy laugh. I gave a big audible dramatic sigh of relief and took a sip of whisky.

“Jesus! I’m so glad! I’m too drunk to cover me arse right about now…” I chuckled.

“You’re still drinking?” She asked.

“Okay, Judgy McJudgerson!” I joked.

“I’m not judging! I just….. I didn’t think you’d call.”

“Why on earth would I not?” I said sincerely, staring up at the star pierced night sky.

“I dunno…”

“I couldn’t stop t’inkin’ about ya since you left wit yer mates…. I hope that’s not creepy-”

“No! That’s um…. really nice of you. Honestly…” she sounded flattered on the other end and I smiled thinking about her smile.

“So um…. I’m callin’ because erm… I wanted to know if maybe you’d wanna have breakfast wit me tomorrow mornin’ or…. or lunch if you’re not a mornin’ person…. I’m not- but I’d still want to do breakfast… if you wanted to…” There I was, babbling again. “I could show you around town if you’d like….”

“Sure! That sounds nice, Joe.”

“Yeah? Nice! Then I….can pick you up?”

“Is 11 ok?”

“Brunch time! Sounds perfect…”

“I’ll send the address! I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah of course! And I’ll um….slow down on the drinkin’ then.” I said with a brief chuckle, taking another swig of whisky.

“Are you gonna be okay getting home?” She asked me as I spun around a few times in the street, walking aimlessly as I listened to her voice.

“I t’ink I’ll be alright, love, t’anks.” I laughed, stumbling a bit as I tripped over my feet.

“Hm…. okay. If you need anything let me know-”

“You’re so attentive…” I blurted out in a brief spurt of drunkenness. She gave a small goofy goober laugh and it made me grin from ear to ear as I walked down the street, not even noticing the pothole ahead. I stepped straight in it, losing my footing and stumbling straight into a nearby ditch with a slight holler, head over heels. I didn’t dare let go of my phone though.

“Joe? Joe?! You good over there?” I heard her say from the speaker. I pat my body down to make sure I was still in one piece and laid my head back down with laughter full of embarrassment.

“Yeah, lass, I’m still here. Hope nobody saw that.” I chuckled as I climbed out of the ditch.

“Are you okay?” She giggled.

“Just fine. I fell over but no mud. Just a spot of dirt…” I said looking down at my now completely dirty body. I dusted myself off and wiped my face with my sleeve.

“Alright well….. Honey is currently being annoying and tapping his watch. We’re supposed to be drunkenly watching a movie.” she chuckled.

“Sounds like a blast. I won’t keep ya… Goodnight, Samira.”

“I’ll see you in the morning, Joe.” she said in a rather sweet tone. And with that, she hung up. I punched in the air like an absolute idiot and ran back to my friends. I felt like a weight had been lifted.

“GUYS! GUYS! I’VE DONE IT! I’ve done it, I got a date!” I exclaimed and we began our night of celebration.

Samira’s POV

“Who the bloody hell was that? Callin’ at this hour?” Maura scowled, twisting her long brown hair into a messy bun. Brazil came into the living room from her shower followed by Jooheon just as Maura took a seat opposite me on the couch.

“That was Joe.” I said trying not to seem like I was nervous. The girls mewed cutely and Jooheon of course whined as he followed Brazil to the kitchen to fix himself a sandwich.

“AiYah! Does this guy have any respect for sleepy time hours?” He commented, wincing at the mention of Joe. Brazil rolled her eyes and smacked her lips, pushing his head with her freshly done nails.

“Boy, if you don’t leave that man alone!” She snapped.

“I just don’t want her to get hurt! It’s been a while but Javi’s still fresh. I wanna make sure you take your time, y’know- and we don’t even know this guy to begin with! Maura, back me up here, man! C’mon…” Jooheon replied defensively.

Maura responded in a laidback light, picking at her nails. “I don’t know, Honey. He seems like an alright feller to me. He was nice enough… and cute in like a…. Fashionable hobo kinda way-”

“There’s no way he’s not a hobo-” he retorted pointing at me. I scoffed.

“Jooheon, he is not a hobo!”

“He’s a fucking hobo.” He mumbled to Brazil before taking his sandwich to the dining table and she chuckled a bit at his paranoid nonsense.

“How was it talkin’ with him?” Maura asked. Jooheon groaned in the background but he was heavily ignored.

“He is so fucking funny! Like it should be a sin to be as funny as he is. And he’s very sweet. He’s got this romantic side to him from what I could tell over the phone… He’s just a dork and it’s precious as fuck-”

“Buuut?” Brazil added, pulling a box of tea from the cabinet.

“..... I’m not ready to trust anyone like that again yet.” It frightened me, falling in love again. I was with Javi for so long and I thought I grew as a person throughout our relationship. Unfortunately, I was a complete idiot the entire time. I’m still the same piece of trash I was in high school. I was anxious and I was tired. Mostly nervous about breakfast with Joe. I don’t even know what to say to him… He’s kinda intimidating but such a marshmallow at the same time. I couldn’t let myself get wrapped up in something serious.

“So let him know that and take it slow. You are the one in control of this experience.” She said, filling up her massive water bottle.

“And take it slow slow. Like waaay slow-” Jooheon interjected with a mouthful of sandwich.

“Christ, Honey! She’s not a nun!” Maura chuckled looking up from her phone. Once again, she and Jooheon began their bickering. If I didn’t know them, I’d mistake them for a married couple. It suddenly became too much and I stood with a stretch and a yawn.

“OKAY guys!” I shouted above them, causing them to quiet. “I’m going to sleep. I have a date in the morning…” With that, I briskly walked down the dark colored hardwood floor hallway into my room and shut my door, locking it behind me with a fierce need to be alone.

Author’s Note: I just wanna say I’m really sorry for the ridiculously long hiatus lol I haven’t been doing very well here and I’m trying my best to work on myself. Hopefully my brain block doesn’t last this long again and I can keep bringing you content! Please keep reading 💖

#joe gilgun fanfic #joe gilgun #proinsias cassidy x reader #proinsias cassidy #rudy wade x reader #rudy wade

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notnorrr · 5 years ago

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Spoilers

yesterday I saw the new dracula show on netflix, and i feel like i have a lot of things to say

Let's begin by saying that yes, i know the last episode wasn't what we all expected, but i don't think that it ruined the show. The very last scene (spoiler: dracula and zoe dead """in the sun""") reminds me A LOT of Hannibal's last scene. Hannibal: a show that i also LOVE. And i know that hannibal's last chapter was also a little bit weird, but it also didn't mess un completely with the series.

In case you don't follow me or in case you don't know, I'm a BIG sherlock bbc fan. And it is a show that was also very criticised because of the last season, a season that i loved too. I was SO HAPPY with the cinematic parallels™ between Sherlock and Dracula. I read some minutes ago a post that said something like "this show (dracula) was exactly what gatiss and moffat are. They did what they always do, the show was awesome. It was witty, funny, but also dark". I AGREE. It was gory. I love gore sm.

I believe that Dracula is a show that lets you see exactly what they (Mofftis) always do. It was awesome. I genuinely enjoyed a lot.

Ok, so, after expressing the LOVE i have for this production, I'm gonna go in order with the events that shook me the most. (I red Dracula by Bram Stoker years ago, so I don't remember a lot of canon stuff)

》 I read on an interview that people thought that Dracula and Jonathan had had sex... i never got it that way lol. I feel that they (the producers) decided to show it that way (yk when jonathan was dreaming with mina, his fiancee, but in reality he was being blood-drained by dracula) (also when sister agatha asks him explicitly if he had sex with the vampire) just for fun.

》 The fact that Dracula was so old in the beggining and after one (1) sip of blood he looked 25 years younger... boy i wanna know what kind of eternal life potion was that. Joke. Sorry, I'll continue.

》 WHAT THE HECK WERE ALL THOSE BOXES WITH VAMPIRES ON THE INSIDE???? I was shooketh and disgASTED

》 The baby vampire???

》 As i said before, the Cinematic Parallels between this show and sherlock HAD ME QUAKING. You know, I really felt at some moment, in the beggining, when Agatha was interrogating Jonathan, that she was John Watson. She was helping Jonathan to put all of the pieces together. She was helping him to built the story. I also felt that at the same time she was Sherlock. She was really smart and she was asking the right questions. She never tried to sound nice, she wanted answers. She also made fun of dracula and that shit was funny af. Anyways, this might be just an illusion because I'm completely blind by that show (sherlock) and i see it everywhere.

》 "I know a very good detective in England" I cried

》 DRACULA COMING OUT OF A WOLF WHILE OPENING HIM IN HALF. An aesthetic, honestly.

》 Sister Agatha was so smart and dumb at the same time... I mean, i completely adore her but she bullied dracula so bad i was afraid he would rip her in half at any minute. Still... witty af. We stan.

》 Agatha finally found God, even though she had been a nun for ages.

》 When I saw Anderson was the captain of the ship... yaaaaaassss

》 WHY THE HECK DID THEY NEED TO HAVE BOXES OF SOIL IN THAT SHIP????

》 I LOVED the scene where they (agatha and dracula) played chess.

》 Jesus Christ can you believe the AUDACITY??? Everyone on board realized there was a killer among them... there was this guy... really creepy... dark... never eats... his eyes turn red when he sees blood... no one believes, even for 1 second that maybe HE IS THE KILLER.

》 Piotr... sweetie I'm so sorry you didn't deserve to see all that shit

》 "A vampire's kiss is an opioid" well i've never done drugs but sign me tf up im sorry

》 I really enjoyed the 2nd chapter. It was so good to see dracula making conversation and being in contact with other people. I genuinely felt that dracula was some sort of moriarty villain (omg that sherlock shit again????yes). He was so funny, i genuinely feel that Claes deserved that role.

》 Ok so talking about the last chapter... when dracula comes out of the water at the beach and an helicopter flies over him... i had several war flashbacks i assure you.

》 So... Zoe (Agatha's descendant) had 123 years to catch him... and he escaped??????? While mocking them with that camera?????? Sorry but I had to laugh

》 The fact that he made himself so comfortable in the xxi century... same honestly. When he admired the sun on the telly i felt that.

Yes i know that all i say is same yass felt that and I'm so sorry i just can't help it

》 I feel that they did Lucy dirty. Yes, she was a bitch. A bitch who had gotten 3 marriage proposals on the same night. But she deserved better. I'm sorry I don't make the rules.

》 THE ENDING????? WTFFFFF i feel that it could have been so much better, and maybe so much more realistic; Dracula "died" willingly, he surrended. It was weird to say the least.

Anyways, feel free to tell me your opinion and to point out anything i might have forgotten about.

Ps: sorry if I can't make myself clear but english is not my first language

#dracula bbc #dracula netflix #dracula #mofftis

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theabominableblogger · 5 years ago

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My Reaction to “Birds of Prey“

*in best Roman Sionis impression* WHOOO!

Figured I might as well FINALLY watch it. On with the show!

*silently jams to the opening logos*

This animated intro is great.

*snorts at the little animation of how an egg gets fertilized*

Why is this animated Joker a different (and actually better) character design than what we got in Suicide Squad? Were we robbed of Letoker in full Joker suited glory? I think we were.

“Behind every successful man is a badass broad.” *points at screen in agreement*

I love Harley’s freaking rainbow apartment

The hyena!

This movie has the same amount of color saturation as “Pulp Fiction”

Freaking Bernie the Beaver is holding her tissues! We stan supportive friends!

*gasp* Cass!

This guy [Roman’s driver] looks an awful lot like Jon Hamm and that is never gonna go away

“It’s not a party without a little drama!” I love Ewan McGregor

*snorts in hilarity when Harley turns to address the audience about how much she doesn’t like Roman in front of Roman*

“Do give the Joker my [Roman] best.” Uhhh....

*jams the crap out to “Boss Bitch” by Doja Cat*

*laughs at Harley drunkenly giving relationship advice to a female bust in the club*

“Some people have the Eiffel Tower. Or Olive Garden.” Can we please hear the stories about Gotham’s Olive Garden?

Oh that shot [of Harley walking away from the Ace Chemicals explosion] is great

[Four Minutes Ago] *snorts in hilarity*

So far I actually really like Rosie Perez as Montoya.

Huntress!

*Huntress kills the mob people in the flashback* That was awesome. And the way Montoya steps back and forth to investigate the body is great.

“Harley Quinn just called open season on herself.” And oop.

God, seeing Ewan as Black Mask is really gonna throw me off but man this is gonna be a great performance.

*jaw drops in horror when Zsasz removes someone’s FACE*

JESUS CHRIST HOLY SHIT RATED “R” HUH?!?

“Is that a snot bubble?” Shit!

OHHHHH THAT SHOT OF ROMAN WITH THE MASK ON!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!

The SATURATION IN THIS MOVIE

Also the soundtrack and aesthetic in this movie is very... “Suicide Squad”-esque

Man that sandwich looks good

*jaw drops when Harley accidentally throws her sandwich into the road*

Also they de-saturated everything again hahaha

Oh my gosh that guy [”Happy”] is HUGE

[GRIEVANCE: COSMETIC VANDALISM] Yeah, that sounds about right

“Par-ley??” *snorts*

Her [Montoya’s] shirt....

Also why is she wearing that shirt at work?

This movie is giving me huge Tarantino vibes

Why does the actor that plays Montoya’s boss looks familiar?

Oh! He’s Rufus in “Supernatural.” Bobby’s kinda buddy!

“Ms. Montoya, we do have a dress code.” There we go.

They are really just going back and forth in the timeline to cover everything, aren’t they?

Harley’s using nonlethal rounds?

The action set pieces in this movie so far are awesome.

*says “Run, piggy, run!” along with Harley*

Of course Dinah is singing “This Is A Man’s World”

Also I’ve seen like a 20 second Twitter compilation of Roman saying the f-bomb and it’s glorious

“We could make our own family.” Oh snap.

WAIT THAT’S THE GUY WHOSE FACE ZSASZ REMOVED!

Does... Roman... like Dinah? Like... that? Or is this manipulation?

*chuckles when drunk Harley slides up next to Dinah at the bar*

*gets very uncomfortable at a guy trying to take advantage of a drunk Harley*

C’mon Dinah...

What’s the song playing here [when Dinah’s beating up the guys in the alley]?

Uh whatcha doing in the corner there, Zsasz?

“Oh sooongbirrddd?” Noo...

Did I just see a street sign that said “ANUS”?

So is Cass faking a broken wrist or does she actually have a broken wrist?

So far my favorite characters are Montoya and Dinah. Not gonna lie.

*has to muffle laughter when Roman does the mmkay hand sign*

“I mean, I like crossbows!” *giggles*

Holy shit, Zsasz is jealous of Dinah.

“Look at his little ears, the little haircut...” *insane giggling*

ZSASZ IS DYING IN THE BACK I LOVE THIS SONG

Dinah is clearly rethinking some life decisions while looking at that statue of Roman

*jams out to “Sway with Me” by GALAXRA*

*Cass robs Zsasz of the diamond* WHOOP!

*winces when Roman does acupuncture*

“SHE’s a chILDDD!!” *laughs*

ZSASZ

Ho shit that shot of Roman on top of the stairs looking down at Harley

“VOTED FOR BERNIE” HAHAHA

*Harley completely derails Roman’s villain monologue* THIS IS AMAZING

HE [Roman] GOT A BOWL OF POPCORN

*Zsasz licks Harley’s cheek* EEUUUGGGHHH!!

Did that goon just pull a tampon out of Harley’s pocket?

I’M SORRY CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE PICTURE OF NUDE ELEANOR ROOSEVELT?

*gasps when Roman backhands Harley across the face*

OH HERE WE GO

HOLY SHIT THIS IS GREAT

ROMAN IN THE STRIPED SUIT

THE CHOREOGRAPHY

WHY WAS IT SO SHORT I LOVED IT

Where is this cover at on the official soundtrack?!?

“I’ll give you ‘til midnight.” Hold on, hold on, what’s the timeline for this movie?

Harley’s just booking it in the background

Aaaand we’re back at the beginning!

Aaand there’s Harley!

Wait there’s about an hour left and we just now got to Harley meeting Cass?

CONFETTIIIII!!

Is she just using paint bombs on all the guards?

Harley, trying to enter the cells: I AM PRESSING. EVERY BUTTON. I CAN FIND.

Why would they put Cass in the cell block with all the adults?

OH HALSEY! COME THROUGH!

*Harley slides across the floor to knock a guy down* OHHHH!!!

Daniel Pemberton’s orchestral score for this movie is reminding me an awful lot of “Into the Spiderverse”

Is that Katana’s sword?!? How the hell did it get there?!?

WAIT SHE’S GONNA HUFF THE COCAINE?!?

Jesus, now THIS is Harley’s fighting style! Holy crap!

*gasps when Harley gets kicked back and knocks off a car door off its hinges*

*jaw drops* SHE JUST SET THAT DUDE’S BEARD ON FIRE

How does everyone seem to know where Harley is?

*Smash cut to Harley buying laxative for Dinah in the store* Hahahahahaha!

“I do not care that you’re [Cass] a kid.” Yeah, Harley, didn’t you uh... assist in the murder of Jason Todd in this universe? Hmmm???

Wait so how long ago have Harley and the Joker been together?

Doc calls Harley “lotus flower”!

Those are the nuns from the school in the beginning!

She is actually... talking to the beaver

“[Joker] Sounds like a dick.” I mean, yeah.

Also I just realized that Harley drew an actual dick in the Joker drawing’s mouth

HUNTRESS!

OH NOW WE’RE GETTING INTRODUCED TO HELENA!

*eyes widen in shock at the Bertenelli massacre*

*chuckles at the smash cut to Helena practicing in the mirror*

*Roman sees someone laughing in the club* Oh no.

“Get on the table.” Uh.

Oh no what is he doing?

“DANCE, ERICA!” Ohh. Shit.

“Take your dress off.” *jaw drops in horror*

God, I cannot watch this. Holy-

*has to avert eyes*

*Roman stops Dinah from leaving* NO.

“You soothe me, little bird.” AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

OK, I can take a breather now. Ohhhh my God...

They’re [Harley and Cass] really just having a girl’s night

BRUCE, NOOOOO!!!

“No one knew we were here except-” DOC SOLD THEM OUT!

“This next bit ain’t very pretty.” Oh boy.

“I [Roman] own this town. You have my protection.” Mmmmm... no?

Whoa this super dramatic cover of “Hit Me with Your Best Shot”

OH HE’S [Zsasz] GONNA SEE THE TEXT SHE [Dinah] SENT [to Montoya]!

*Roman starts to break down* Oh. Shit.

OH THIS MUSIC

*Roman puts the mask on* OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

OH THIS IS GREAT

Also of course Joker and Harley had a hideout in Amusement Mile

*winces when Montoya punches Harley right in the boob*

*Harley kicks Montoya out the window* Oh she dead

*gasps* Zsasz!

Man that sideways shot of him is terrifying!

OH FRICK NO

JESUS I DON’T LIKE THIS

So is it implied that Zsasz only kills women or what? I thought he was an equal opportunity killer?

“That’s why he [Roman] needs me [Zsasz] to look after him.” Dude.

...did they just kill Zsasz?

Everyone except Harley is pointing guns at each other and all I’m thinking of is that scene from “The Office”

*snorts in hilarity for Harley clapping for Helena completing her kill list*

Oh Roman just brought a whole freaking army

OHHHH HE’S GOT THE MASK

Oh this music *chef’s kiss*

Oh my God is Roman gonna find Zsasz’s body?

Oh that crane shot out of the lair and back outside? That’s some good shit. Cathy Yan, I see you.

“I [Helena] DON’T HAVE RAGE ISSUES!” DINAH’S FACE!

*Helena pounces on a goon in the slide down and kills him* Geez that’s awesome

This whole set is great

*Helena gives Cass her old toy truck* THIS MAKES ME SAD

Yeah when did Harley have time to put on her skates?

Some dude just gets shanked then leaps back up

That fight scene just went by real quick

*gasps when Roman shoots Montoya*

*jaw drops when Dinah does the Canary Cry*

*Harley gets sideswiped by one of Roman’s goons* Yeah no there’s like half a rib cage gone

*Harley works on overtaking one of Roman’s goons’ car* CRAZY TOWN BEEP BEEP!

*Harley backflips onto the top of Roman’s car* OHHHH!

Founders Pier... geez that looks great

Wait are those all Roman’s goons just lining the dock or are those just statues?

Oh they’re all statues. That’s creepy.

“exCUUSEE me?!?” *snorts in hilarity*

*jaw drops when Cass tucks a grenade in Roman’s coat and activates it*

*still shocked when he FREAKING EXPLODES*

I’M SORRY THEY JUST KILLED OFF BLACK MASK

*Cass finally goes to the bathroom* Finally!

“Does she always [Montoya] talk like the cop in a bad 80s movie?” *laughs*

Guys Helena is great

*laughs when Helena laughs at the fact that Harley stole Dinah’s car*

“They call themselves the Birds of Prey.” Yay! Lemme see them again!

Harley’s jacket has a bedazzled vagina on the back of it

Look at Cass with her jacket and sunglasses!

“Yeah, I made the kid my apprentice.” Yeah, that’s not gonna last long.

#the blogger reacts #dceu #birds of prey #harley quinn #ewan mcgregor #black mask #roman sionis #dinah lance #black canary #huntress #helena bertinelli #cassandra cain #renee montoya #victor zsasz #joker #daniel pemberton #bop #rosie perez

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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 5 years ago

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Favorite Playlist Meme

Rules: Put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs, then tag ten people. No skipping!

I was tagged by @laschatzi and @searchingwardrobes. Thanks ladies. I picked the first 10 songs that came up on my “thumbprint radio” channel on Pandora. Apparently, these are songs I either gave a thumbs up to or songs that are inspired by my thumbs up picks. They’re mostly instrumental-alone pieces or pieces in Latin, probably because I mostly listen to Pandora when I’m writing or otherwise working, and I find songs with words I can understand too distracting.

Mhysa (Ramin Djawadi)--from the Game of Thrones soundtrack. Lol, I didn’t watch GoT, but it has good music.

Porcelain (Helen Jane Long)--relaxing piano with an accompaniment of synthesized strings.

A Thousand Years (The Piano Guys)--lovely cover of the Christina Perry song for piano and cello.

100 Years (Lorie Line)--a piano and rhythm section cover of the Five for Fighting song.

Ne Irascaris, motet for 5 voices (William Byrd)--Going waaaaaaay back for this one. Renaissance motets were some of the most beautiful classical music ever written, IMO.

Miserere Mei Deus, motet for chorus (Gregorio Allegri)--See #5 above; same idea.

O Nomen Jesu, motet for 5 voices (Peter Philips)--See #5 and #6 above. Apparently Pandora thumbprint radio does not do a good job of shuffling.

O Magnum Mysterium (Tomas Luis de Victoria)--Again, Renaissance motet. I sang this one in college, and I would totally have my church choir sing it for Christmas some year if I didn’t think it would freak them out and intimidate them to death, lol.

Feria V in Coena Domini (Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina)--Now this is getting ridiculous, Pandora. My musical tastes are far more eclectic than this list seems to indicate. At least throw in some Mozart or something! (Not going to complain about something by Palestrina, though. He takes Renaissance motet beauty to a whole other level.)

Jesus Christ is Risen Today (traditional; sung by the Benedictines of Mary, Queen of Apostles)--These nuns have some of the purest, clearest voices I’ve ever heard.

Lol, so we go from Game of Thrones to nuns.

I’d tag people, but I think most people I’d tag have already done this, so if you haven’t (or want to do it again), consider yourself tagged!

#about me #tag games

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bartloki · 6 years ago

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chasing amy starters

all from kevin smith’s 1997 movie

I wish I was like these guys - getting stoned, talking all raw about chicks and fighting super villains.

I’ll trace a chalk line around your dead fucking body, you fuck!

He started it, fucking cock-knocker! He’s lucky I didn’t put my pen through his thorax!

We're keeping it real, and we're gonna get respect - by any means necessary.

Bitch, you almost made me laugh.

How do you manage to get away with this all the time? Shouldn't cops be busting your head open right about now?

When you say it, it sounds so sexy.

Look out, boys - this kitten has a whip.

I just wish I was the one who gets to shoot you.

Archie and Jughead were lovers.

Man, I feel a hate-crime coming on.

I want you to go down to the corner store and buy yourself a clue.

Shit like that's bound to happen when you make a kid wear a matching tie and slacks everyday.

I'm sure you can dry your eyes on all those fat checks you rake in.

I'm sorry, did I detect a note of bitter envy in there?

That car's seeing more action right now than it's seen in years.

You've gotta respect that kind of display of affection. It's crazy, rude, self-absorbed - but it's love.

You’ve got a weird thing for Canadian melodrama.

I've got a weird thing for girls who say 'aboot'.

We shared a moment. And in that moment, one thing was made abundantly clear: this girl loves me, my friend. Loves me.

There're a lot of chicks in this place.

Hey, hey, hey - you fucked up my cabbage-patch!

What a small fucking world.

Could’ve been worse - we could have not met at all.

Get up here and sing, bitch!

She is such a cunt!

I don't usually get all mushy in public.

I have to sit here and work up the desire to fuck you later.

I'm sure you don't love every girl you sleep with.

My mother brought me up to believe that if I can't do something right I shouldn't do it at all.

At least you blame yourself for your sexual inadequacies.

You gotta handle it like CNN and the Weather Channel - constant updates.

I'm sure the gay community appreciates your support.

Wait, wait, wait - you're still a virgin?

I move to have that remark stricken from the record, on account of it makes you come off as completely naive and infantile.

You've got like thirty books there! We're only there for two days!

Look at how slow you are. Christ, you move like a geriatric.

She's programming you.

You should just find some other way to express your anger is all I'm saying.

I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it.

I love you. Very simple, very truly.

You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person.

I know you think of me as just a friend and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider.

There isn't another soul on this fucking planet who's ever made me the person I am when I'm with you.

Even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of you and what you've meant to me.

Here's my comment: fuck you.

That was so unfair. You know how unfair that was.

Do you remember for a fucking second who I am?

I can't just get into a relationship with you without throwing my whole fucking world into upheaval!

I’m fucking gay! That’s who I am!

If this is a crush... then I don't know if I could take the real thing if it ever happens.

You looked weirded out back there.

That's my couch you were fucking on.

There's no 'we' here. You're going to have to go through this alone.

For you, this isn't about cool weird sex stuff, it's about love.

Everybody has an agenda. Everyone.

I see you've been taking notes. Historically, yes, that's true.

I'm not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one.

How seldom you meet that one person who gets you... it's so rare.

To cut oneself off from finding that person - to immediately half your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender... that just seemed stupid. So I didn't. And by leaving my options open, I was branded 'gay', which to me was no big deal - labels are labels, you know? They define what you do, not who you are, I guess.

You're not the right man. You're just the one.

I give a shit what people think.

That boy loves you in a way that he's not ready to deal with.

Do I detect a little inter-subculture cattiness?

See that guy there? He's the devil, you understand?

Men need to believe that they're Marco fucking Polo when it comes to sex - like they're the only ones who've ever explored new territory.

The world would be a better place if people would just accept that there's nothing new under the sun, and everything you can do with a person has probably been done long before you got there.

Since most of these people are rooting for the home team, I'm going to cheer for the visitors. I'm a big visitors fan.

I told you I was great at sporting events. Imagine what a bitch I could be if I knew what was going on?

That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? Isn't that what this little cross- examination of your's is about? Well try not to be so obvious about it next time, there are subtler ways of badgering a witness.

If you wanted some background information on me, all you had to do was ask - I'd have gladly volunteered it. You didn't have to play Hercules fucking Poirot!

Didn't you know? I'm the queen of urban legend.

Some of it I did out of stupidity, some of it I did out of what I thought was love, but - good or bad - they were my choices, and I'm not making apologies for them now - not to you or anyone!

I was an experimental girl, for Christ's sake!

Maybe you knew early on that your track was from point 'a' to 'b' - but unlike you I wasn't given a fucking map at birth, so I tried it all!

Can't you take some fucking comfort in that? You turned out to be all I was ever looking for - the missing piece in the big fucking puzzle.

I want us to be something that we can't.

Yo, look at this morose motherfucker here...

You big fucking softie.

I ain't playing. Tell me her name, Mysterio.

Why don't you shut up? Jesus! Always yap, yap, yapping all the time. Gives me a fucking headache.

What you don't know about me I can just about squeeze into the Grand fucking Canyon.

You and I hit a wall, because I don't know how to deal with... your past, I guess.

I'm only going to say it once: shut up.

You've had so much experience, had such a big life; and my life's been pretty small in comparison.

I know why you're having such a hard time and it's something that's been obvious forever, but I guess I just didn't acknowledge it.

You’re in love with me.

You're attracted to me. Just as, in a way, I'm attracted to you. I mean, it makes sense - we've been together so long, we have so much in common...

Just 'cause a guy's got a predilection toward dick jokes...

We've all got to have sex together.

We've been everything to each other but intimates. And now, we'll have been through that together too.

You know I need this. You know it'll help.

That time is over for me. I've been there. I've done it. And I didn't find what I was looking for in any of it.

Maybe I just love you too much. And I feel hurt and let down that you'd want to share me with anyone. Because I never wanted to share you.

I love you. I always will. Know that. But I'm not your fucking whore.

He’s yours again.

Well, keep up the good work, man. Love them dick jokes. Love 'em. See ya.

I finally had something personal to say.

I mean, it can get ugly. I just saw this nun in line call this small child a cunt-rag.

#rp meme #ask meme #sentence starters

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cowgirlbeepboops · 6 years ago

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rwby characters as dumb things my friends have said: pt 2

ruby: i don’t think duck, duck, goose usually ends in cannibalism, guys. weiss: crack cocaine is for the poor. we only snort the purest, freshest kind in this good household. blake: day eight of twenty-bi-teen... i have read a book. it was gay. i cried. i think this was the most emotionally distressing thing i’ve gone through. yang: jojo siwa could step on my face and i would thank her. jaune: whoever t-poses the longest can become my dominant. nora: mesothelioma is a pain kink. pyrrha: the back of my knees are so soft. would you like to stroke them? ren: i identify as nun-sexual, where the only love i feel is towards our lord and savior jesus christ, amen. sun: i passed my drug test with flying colors. mostly yellow. scarlet: you’re the yee to my haw. sage: my unhindered rage horrifies the gods themselves. neptune: it’s not gay if you’re crossdressing. summer: yes, everyone, let’s do an uncomfortable squat. taiyang: aww, yeah, i want THESE shoes when mowing season comes! raven: give me death, or give me death! buy one, get one free! qrow: i have the survival instinct of a squirrel on crack cocaine. penny: stop looking at crabs. crabs bother me. oscar: your opinion doesn’t matter, because my mom told me i’m beautiful!! ozpin: do my bidding, you piece of useless fish. salem: honestly, please run me over. watts: i am going to manufacture a giant, murderous, turtle like in the asdf movies. tyrian: wear white pants to show the blood of your enemies. cinder: just want you to know, legs don’t grow back. hazel: usually, i am very respectful, but fuck you. emerald: i’m going to drink all of my problems away- with water, because it’s important to be happy, healthy, and hydrated. mercury: i am going to eat an entire spoon. neo: if you yell at someone loud enough, they’ll interpret it as a swear. adam: MY LAPTOP JUST COMMITED THE SEPPUKU. torchwick: i definitely wouldn’t commit a crime- except for jaywalking, maybe

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scripted-dalliances · 6 years ago

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Rest In Peace: Chapter One

Title: Rest In Peace

Chapter: 1

Summary: A part of Faithless Fairy Tale, a more in depth look at how they brought Laura back to life. Appearance of old faces, creation of new ones and if you’re looking for canon, it left a long, long time ago. If you squint you might be able to see some pieces from the book.

A/n: This is less a labor of love and more like a violent attempt to get this beast of a story out of my head. I attempted to shave and shape it into something other people might be able to read and enjoy. Did I succeed? I honestly don’t know, this is what happens when I’m left to edit by myself. If it’s trash, I apologize.

“All you need is someone to believe. Really believe. And maybe a new story, right? A reinvention. A rebirth.” - Faithless Fairy Tale

Laura promises pretty things out of her wicked dead mouth, and to a degree he already believes them. Why wouldn't he, after watching her slay Grimnir with his own blade to save the likes of him?

Make no mistake, he's not deceived by her, he hasn't forgotten who she is. Mad Sweeney knows the mettle of Laura Moon, even minus the stolen war god’s blade and his lucky coin. He is not blinded by her one act of mercy to think she isn’t the same woman who crushed his balls in her palms like fucking walnuts.

Who huffed pesticide under hot tub tarps and crawled out of her own grave.

He is not stupid.

She is a bitch, she is a crass little thing, but there isn't enough strength in his bones to deny she inspires him. To anger. To stand against the tide. To lower himself right down to her level; to tussle in the mud of blasphemies, insults and filth. Everything about her, pulls and demands something of him. Whether good or bad, whether it is her's by right or not, he hands it over.

(He does it with hard hands, with spite and bitterness. With love.)

The sirens of old could sing their pretty little hearts out, but it's only Laura's voice calling him a pussy that could drive him overboard. The reason unclear; to prove her wrong, to chase her, or just so he could drown himself and be done with her.

Not even he knows.

(So of course he agrees.)

Mad Sweeney sighs deeply, a man condemned to be saved and hangs his head.

“Yeah, alright you mad bitch. Let's hear your theory.”

It takes work. Scratch that. It takes a whole fuck ton of work. Most of which starts with research, that Laura herself demands he be involved in.

The deal is this: She will pray to him, not the old fashion way mind you. With tiny offerings of milk and bread, sweetened by faith. Laura has grand plans, she'll write a book, she'll go on tours reading to kiddies and to anyone who listens.

She promises to sue General Mills for defamation of character if they let her.

She will do it until someone else proves to do it better, and then her part of the deal is done. Problem is she'll only do that if he helps brings her back to life in the first place. Properly this time, in her words. No half-assed plans or maybes.

(His part no surprise, is the difficult part)

Laura of course makes it even more complicated. Refuses to go into this blind, ignoring Mad Sweeney's advice that this will only slow them down. She needs faith, not answers to a bloody pop quiz.

Ostara does the best she can to help, giving them access to her many libraries filled to the brim with books on resurrection, from the gods that bestow it and several ones that involve the opposite. Nestled in many of them are testaments to her growing bitterness. Written in the margins with hot pink ink, little notes of what is a lie, what is a cop out and who took credit where none is due.

She is one of the kinder goddesses, there's more love in her heart than not, but the years of abandonment has made spite grow in her like weeds. Perhaps that's why she takes a liking to Laura's plight, she knows intimately what it's like to be buried and forgotten, to emerge from that grave and still stand. Maybe in the shadows instead of the light, but still there regardless.

Ostara does what many of the patrons of faith have done before, when the faith becomes dry and thin, she makes the best of it. After all, start asking for more than what is owed is what started a war, and she has seen what comes from that.

They all did.

Little Laura Moon, with a stolen blade and a heart made of stone. Who saw new gods and old, strong and weak alike and found them all lacking. It is in her, they have seen the true face of the faithless, the mortals who make or break them, and an end they can not escape.

Whether she knows it or not, Laura has become a judgment no god wishes to cross just yet, and that's perhaps another piece of the puzzle why Ostara gives them so much help. She never says as such, never says a single double-edge word to Laura or Sweeney, but still in rankles on him. The not knowing.

“This is more than what you owe me.” Sweeney tells Ostara, one afternoon when Laura has buried her head in some ancient tome -probably in a language she can't even understand- and isn't paying attention to him. It's not a secret that he's cashing in a favor from the goddess for just being here, but he feels like it's asking a lot. To lean on her good heart, her open doors and know that a storm will hit sooner or later.

(Grimnir might be dead, but the war is far from over. There are still the new gods, the old bitter ones and a whole bunch of fucking traps the old bastard set up in case of his end, that will have to be dealt with.)

“You stopped me from ruining what I loved most.” Ostara tells him, with a soft haunted look, “Too long I've been harboring this...resentment. We all have, but what for? The old days are just that. Old. Maybe I miss the power, but stealing spring is on par with a child throwing a tantrum for attention. That's not me. So, maybe I'll work a different angle, maybe it won't work.” She shrugs her delicate shoulders. “Either way, I'm going to do it as myself. I'm going to honor all that belief, from the first believers that made me a goddess, who were the first to pray to my name, from those who kept true even when the rest of the world didn't. I can't turn my back on those chapters of my story. Otherwise, who am I?

He doesn't have an answer, it's too soon to be a bastard and remind her of all the fears that drove her to Odin's side in the first place. The weakness, the abandonment and death. Was she ready for that? Were any of them? This isn't a job, there's no step below god, either you are or you aren't, and then you're gone from this world.

Sweeney looks over at Laura Moon, with her moldy flesh, stitched together with cheap glue, bits of metal and string like some sort of bastardized dollar store version of Frankenstein. With all ten of her nails cracked and peeling, the heavy stench of her rot that floats with every breeze; makes even his iron stomach clench and roll, how it lingers as a constant reminder of her late state of decomposition. As if it wasn't obvious when she constantly had to pull maggots out of her ears, mouth and nose.

Maybe Ostara has the right frame of mind.

To keep true to yourself or accept a true end.

There are worse things than death after all.

The weirdest part of all this, you know besides the slaying of Grimnir by a dead girl, of him playing fucking librarian and taking tea with the goddess of Spring while a storm builds; is watching Shadow Fucking Moon blush for Ostara.

It's so fucking weird that he can't even insult the bastard for it.

He'll just sit there silently, watching as the two canoodle -and there is no other words for it, because Shadow will be polite as a nun, and Ostara will just sit as close as she can with a beaming smile. They whisper and giggle like children do when they have a crush and Sweeney doesn't even know where to start with how fucked up any of this is.

It also is fucking awkward as shit for him, because it's not just him in the room when this happens. Laura is there too. Making it a test, a competition of strength of will between him and the bitch dead wife. Whoever had to leave the room first in disgust, lost.

He lost every god damn time.

Whatever happened to her heart when Shadow failed to believe in her over Grimnir (just for a second, for one painful second, but to the dead that’s forever), has either frozen it or broke it. She doesn't mope or cry, thank Christ above, but she doesn't act jealous either. She is hell bent on other things. Like bringing herself to life.

And testing him with her stupid theories.

He hates it as much as he delights in it.

“Kiss me. Ginger minge.” She demands, hands on rotted hips and dull eyes looking up into his, with absolute venom even as she attempts to flutter her lashes and smile up at him. Shit, she just might actually spit acid at this point if he dared comment about how terrifying she looks.

“Fuck off, no.” He tells her. He doesn't have a point to prove, he just doesn't want to do it.

Not like this.

He drops the book he was not so secretly not reading, and childishly kicks at a pile near her in his attempt to get away. Moving to a different room to keep a stupidly long table between them. Not that it would do much good. She still has his strength, all his luck, and she all she has to do is get one hand on him and he's a dead man. Ha.

“You said you wanted to test my theory!” She screeches like a banshee at his retreating back.

“That was before I knew it was fuckin' batty!” He shouts right back. “That was before you started acting all sweet -horrifying by the way, thought your brain had literally rotted out of your fucking ears! Acting all delicate and soft, telling me to kiss you. Jesus fuckin' Christ, no woman! NO!”

Laura chases him around the awkwardly large dining table, and he won't deny he smiles a bit, when her hip catches a sharp corner and curses at him like it's his fault.

“Well, excuse me for trying to be nice. I thought it would make this easier!”

“Well, you thought wrong, dead wife.”

It's at this, she snaps. Honest to god, snaps, and flings herself in his direction like a damned hellcat.

Sweeney attempts to run away, but she is small and quick, with hands like a fucking honey badger on crack. Her fingers claw into his shoulder, etching into the jean material like it was nothing but silk. Once she has him there, it's a losing battle, as she clings in with the rest of her body soon after.

They fight all the way down. He attempts to throw her off, but she digs her sharp knees into his ribs. Hard enough to bruise, right until she has him on his back, with her legs clutching down on his sides like steel clamps.

With no tenderness, her clammy hands are gripping his head, all the fingers braced to keep his skull still. Forcing him to look at her as she struggles to plant one on him.

“Let.Me.Kiss.You!” She growls, leaning in only to find him squirming more. She gets his nose, his beard and cheek, ghosting over each but never for long enough. “Are you going to turn into a fucking little toad or something? Christ, I am not asking for your virginity, princess. Just a damn kiss!”

Sweeney tilts his head, strains his neck and wiggles like a dying fish, calling her every name in the book and then some that aren't. He does it in English and Gaelic; all between his gritted teeth but none of it moves her. In the end she claws to keep his face down, digging her razor blade nails into the flesh of his cheeks until he screams.

“Fine! FUCK! I said fine, dead wife! DO IT!”

Laura releases her grip and glares down at him, gets close enough for him to gag slightly on the scent of death and decay that surrounds her -but she doesn't kiss him.

“First tell me why you are acting like such a prude over a single kiss.”

“Oh. Sweet mother of Christ above. Does it matter?”

Laura smirks, and proceeds to squeeze with her thighs around his middle. He screeches something foul, and is seconds away from feeling his guts burst like a fucking water balloon when she eases back. Planting her ass on his hips with no shame.

He will deny it until he is fucking blue in the face, but he likes her weight. Her strength. All wrapped up in a tiny package.

“Tell me or I will literally squeeze it out of you.”

“And they say romance is dead.”

Laura clenches, her face smug when a second later he is screaming once more.

(What he doesn’t know is that she likes when he screams, likes the way he bristles and burns, there is something beautiful in the way he strains so hard against her that the veins in his neck pop and pulse.)

“ALRIGHT YOU FUCKIN' MAD BITCH, I'LL SING. I'LL FUCKIN' SING. NOW STOP BEFORE I PISS MYSELF!”

Laura does, because ew.

Delighted in getting her way once more, she is content to wait for him to catch his breath. Merely tracking the beads of sweat on his brow and the way they trickle into his flaming red hair.

“…ah…fuck…” he pants. Licking his lips while looking away from her. Seemingly shutting his eyes in pain, more pain than he was mere seconds ago in. “I didn't want to kiss you…like this. With you making it all business and shady like, like it's a fuckin' handshake.”

“Oh.”

#rest in peace #madwife #mad wife #mad sweeney x laura moon #mad wife fic

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