#there are gay people in my head 25/7

[y0urnewhyperfixation]

doomed but silly yuri while i work on a ruby animatic

[planetary]

25 SHOCKING TRUTHS ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TV SHOWS😱

1. POKEMON - ash is in a coma and the show is he's dreaming

2. RUGRATS - the babies are on drugs

3. edd edd eddy - they died in 1962 (tuberculosis)

4. scoopy doo - theyre on drugs too and the dog cant really talk :(

5. rugrats - angela is in a coma and the show is her dream

6. spongbob - songebob is in a coma and the show is his dream

7. spongebob - spongebob and his friends are the christian hell sins

8. spoinegbob - squidward is heroin?

9. COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG - it was real it was all real none of that was a dream or a nightmare everything you remember is real

10. rugarts - angela is on drugs and all the other ones are dead

11. jimmy neutraon - jimmy is weird because he is gay

12. fairly oddparsnts - timmy is in a coma and the show is his dream

13. spongebob - sandy is taxidermy

14. higgly town heroes - higgly town is all cannibals and they eat other people and thats why they do that . how could they do that..? my heroes..

15. max & ruby - they are bunny rabbits and thast because thrre was. an apocalypse and max is a real human little boy but there was an apocalypse and his parents died and he's with ruby but he got hit on the head with a steel pipe because of the apocalypse so now he's in a coma and the show is his dream

16. disney aladdin movie - the tiger head cave is really really scary

17. danny phantom died - this one really happened they tell you in the theme song and you can see it happen in blood and gorey detail if you watch that one scary episode that only comes on at 3am. does anyone else remember that episode

18. dora the explorer - dora is on crack

19. faaiely odd parents - the fairies are drugs and timmy takes drugs and maybe goes into a coma for this reason and maybe has a dream that they're his magic fairies

20. caillou - hes bald. this theoru explains that cailiu has no hair because he is bald. and perhaps his parents are nice to him because he is bald. this could also explain why he has no hair (because hes bald)

21. courage the cowarsly dog - courage is a dog and he's in a coma and

22. the magic schoolbus - its magic because the bus was on drugs and then it blew up (becasue it was high) and they all went to purgatory and clones took their place

23. tom and jerry - tom should have been allowed to cook and eat that baby chick. and its fucked up that the show didnt allow him to. me and my friends watched it and we were all clapping and cheering for him to cook and eat it and we were so excited but of course the writers pussied out and didnt let him do it

24. finding nemo - that thing in the beginning didnt even happen but the dad made that story up so people would feel bad for him

25. sponegbob - in the latest season patrick says "Ok boomer!" to mermaid man and barancle boy

CHILDHOOD = RUINED 😫

[cheesecakeislazy]

JEFF THE KILLER HEADCANONS BECAUSE FUCK YOU! (Jk I love you and hope your life is great)

1. Him and BeN are besties for life, ride or die, would suck the poison out of each others dicks (not gay though)

2. Jeff has eye drops on him 24/7 so he doesn’t go fucking blind

3. Jeff has anger issues, one moment he’s chill as fuck and then EJ told him something that pisses him off- and now there’s a stab wound in Toby, a hole in the wall, and an angry Slenderman.

4. Jeff is totally straight. He totally thinks boobs are awesome. And totally only boobs. (He’s bisexual and swears on god he’s straight.)

5. He wakes up at 2 pm because he hates being awake in the mornings

6. He’s a metal head. He blasts music from his room so loud you can hear it across the mansion (slender mansion AU)

7. His deep gravely ass voice is perfect for metal songs

8. He likes to paint his nails black, and black only any other color is fucking gay

9. His vocabulary is 90% cuss words

10. He rarely showers. Ironically the gamer showers more often than him. Jeff prefers to be a stinky son of a bitch (take that fangirls)

11. He makes up for it with his dental hygiene (kinda) he brushes them twice a day and they look perfect (mostly)

12. He has extra sharp canines

13. He named his knife “Knifu” aka his knife waifu

14. The knife has been used so much that it constantly reeks of bleach and blood; it has permanent blood stains on it

15. Jeff bites his nails pretty often

16. Jeff isn’t good with throwing knives- he also isn’t that good at stabbing…

17. Jeff literally just stabs and stabs until he thinks his victim is dead, he doesn’t know any major artery’s (did I spell that right?)

18. Jeff is dyslexic

19. Jeff is horrible at math but refuses to admit it

20. Jeff wears eyeliner but refuses to admit it

21. He secretly loves the color pink but refuses to admit it (see a pattern here yet?)

22. Jeff is super sensitive to light due to the fact he doesn’t have any eyelids

23. He wears black gloves because he has burn marks on his hands and hates it when people look at them (fingerless gloves as his fingers aren’t burnt)

24. Jeff really wants tattoos and piercings but can’t get any due to his skin being extremely sensitive and fragile

25. Jeff hates the sun, it hurts his eyes and skin

26. Jeff likes going to playgrounds at night because 1. Fucking swings are awesome and 2. Creepy

27. Fucker is 5’11 and constantly calls BeN a midget

28. Jeff had a small crush on Toby for a while and lowkey has a small crush on BeN but…

29. Jeff is highkey downbad for EJ (it’s one-sided)

30. If Jeff ever tried to cook, he would burn everything

31. Jeff is fucking terrified of fire

32. Sometimes Ben likes to scare Jeff shitless by lighting a small fire inside Bens hands infront of Jeff

33. Sometimes Jeff throws Ben inside a kiddy pool and watches him panic about drowning (he is fully above the water)

34. Despite the fact Jeff and Ben both fuck with each other and their fears, they do it in tame ways to ensure the other doesn’t actually have a panic attack of any kind

35. Jeff lives in sweatpants, jeans are for losers and shorts are gay

36. T-shirts and hoodies, Jeff literally does not own a single sweater, long sleeve, or tank top.

37. His favorite T-shirt says “Fuck me in my ass (but not in a gay way)”

38. His second favorite says “Emo metal loving slut”

39. Both and almost all of his t-shirts are black with either white or red/pink writing

40. It is Jeff’s goal to have every photo taken of him (with permission) to have him flipping off the camera

41. Jeff watches South Park but thinks Family guy is stupid

42. He tries really hard to get on Liu/Sully’s good side but his anger issues usually get in the way

43. Jeff and Nina are actually really good friends that lowkey view each other as family

44. Jeff and Nina love to piss each other off constantly (Ben will prank whoever he is asked to)

45. Jeff has tried to kill Jane quite a few times, and Jane is constantly trying to kill him

46. Jeff personally isn’t into weed but he doesn’t judge BeN for being a stoner lowkey

47. Jeff is a virgin but he wouldn’t be nervous at all about having sex

48. Jeff is a kinky bastard

49. Jeff likes a good bowl of strawberry ice cream

50. Jeff likes banana smoothies

51. Jeff owns a few Nirvana T-shirts

[alphajocklover]

So I’m a gay guy in my early 30s but I find that I’m more attracted to mature men like in their 50s. There’s a guy I want to ask out by he’s a big muscle daddy in his 50s and that’s all he says he’s interested in. Do you think you could help me become the perfect mature hairy muscle man that he wants to marry?

Clive was literally everything you had ever wanted. Handsome, distinguished, muscular, he was exactly your type physically. A muscle Daddy. Having him as your roommate was driving you insane with lust. But your feelings for him were so much more than just physical, so much more than just lust. In the short time you had known Clive you had fallen head over heels in love with him. Everything about him made you weak in the knees, from the small habits he had, like slightly pulling on his silver beard when thinking, to the big things he did, like how considerate and caring he always was. Most people would feel awkward about having a roommate so much younger than they are, but he had always treated you like a friend and an equal. You wanted him more than anything. But… you knew he’d never love you back.

Clive was 25 years older than you, literally old enough to be your actual daddy, and he was well aware of the age difference. He never treated you like a kid, but he was a big believer in keeping sexual relationships within his own generation. If he was attracted to you, you knew he’d never act on it because he didn’t wanna be a creep. He always dated people closer to him in age, and seemed to have similar taste to you. All of his boyfriends were muscular, hairy, older gentleman. Muscle daddies. In other words, the opposite of you. You were, for lack of better words, a twink. You had tried to gain muscle, tried to grow more hair, even tried gaining weight, but you were one of those rare people who couldn’t put on weight instead of not being able to keep it off. So, you suffered in silence, the object of your affection so close but far, constantly pining. It was humiliating, and made you feel like some sort of pathetic schoolgirl, but… you couldn’t do anything to change the situation. You couldn’t change your feelings, you couldn’t change your body, you couldn’t even afford to move. You were stuck.

And then… you saw the ring. You don’t know how it happened. You can’t even remember why you walked past that jewelry store on your way to work. Usually you took a more direct route. But that day you walked past that new jewelry store, your eyes caught on something in the window. A simple diamond engagement ring. It wasn’t anything special. You shouldn’t have stopped and gone into the store. But you did. You shouldn’t have bought the shockingly cheap but beautiful ring. But you did. You shouldn’t have skipped work and headed back to your apartment to set up. But you did. And as you did, you changed. When you walked up the 7 floors to your apartment, you began to gain muscle slowly. A ridiculous amount of muscle, going from twink to twunk to jock to certified beef. When you entered the apartment and prepared a special bottle of wine you didn’t remember having before to (hopefully) celebrate, you gained a respectable smattering of hair all over your body, though the hair on your head seemed to shorten and fall away. As you ordered a beautiful bouquet of flowers and changed into an expensive suit you shouldn’t have been able to afford rent for a night but now remembered buying, you grew older, your hair becoming peppery and your muscles becoming thicker and more solid. By the time Clive opened the door, there you were: an older muscle daddy in a handsome suit, on one knee with love is your eyes.

Obviously Clive said yes. Afterall, you had been dating for 3 years now, living together for 2, and were perfect together. You were both head over heels for each other, in a good place financially (mainly due to your very well paying job as an executive), and you were ready for the next step. Before the wine you had bought was even half gone, Clive was stripping off your suit as you grinned happily. Clive was everything you had ever wanted. Well, almost. You had never expected to end up with someone younger than you, since you usually dated older men, but it was only a 2 year age difference, and it turned out you kind of liked being the older guy for once.

**Hey there! My first muscle daddy story. I usually write about jocks but I never turn down a challenge and like expanding my horizons. I hope I did a good job! I hope you enjoy it, and feel free to send me more story suggestions.**

[missmielyhoran]

After this Harry deleted story I was wondering if you would make an Instagram where he posts a picture of him and y/n together and then deletes it. Y/n can be someone outside the media, like she can be a student, she goes to college

Thank you for requesting! I hope this was good enough♡

A/N- Here, the timeline of things are how I made them to be

Face Claim- Victoria Pedretti

A/N- I want Victoria Pedretti to step on me like full-on chomp on me with 7-inch platform heels

*****

Liked by Harryfan2, Harryfan1, Harryfan4 and 702,999 others

HSupdates Harry just posted and deleted this story

View all comments.

Harryfan1 He has a girlfriend?!!?

Harryfan2 What do you mean Harry has a girlfriend who he's looking for house with?

Harryfan3 Istg I will run off the cliff I'm driving rn

Harryfan4 He meant to post it on his close friends😭there are so many stories we have not seen

Harryfan1 I will give my first born to be in his close friends

On twitter-

Yourclassmate The girl Harry posted on his story is my classmate in college. We go to the same classes, and her name is Y/N.

5.6k Likes, 198 Quote retweets, 765 retweets, 865 Comments

Harryfan4 She won't accept my request😭

Harryfan2 Stop it guys!! She had a private account for reason

Harryfan1 People do anything for bunch of likes. I hope your pillow is warm on both sides

Harryfan3 She's so pretty omg🥲

Liked by Yourmom, Annetwist, Yourbestfriend and 25 others

Yourinstagram Should have posted this instead babe

View all comments.

Yourbestfriend I told you he's a dumbass but no you were in love

harrystyles I thought we were friends :(

Yourinstagram stop being mean to him!

Yourbestfriend tell me him to stop being a dumbass

harrystyles I'm sorry babe

Yourinstagram I will smack you in head if you say sorry one more time

harrystyles what about the girl?

Yourinstagram blocked that bitch and will see what dean does with my complaint🤷🏻‍♀️

Liked by Harryfan2, Harryfan1, Randomuser and 1,456,999 others

Harryfan3 Y/N accidentally accepted my follow requests and look at these pics!

View all comments.

Harryfan2 Alexa tell me the definition of privacy

Harryfan1 She was the girl on yatch all those years back???

Harryfan3 That's LHH how long have they been dating?

Harryfan4 the pic of them kissing🥺

*****

On twitter-

harryfan2 You guys are the reason Y/N had to delete her Instagram account, and then you ask why Harry keeps his relationships private.

1.5k Likes, 478 Comments, 734 Retweets, 212 Quote retweets

Harryfan2 I feel bad for her :(

Harryfan4 I just know Harry is mad at us.

Harryfan3 I feel like a child who just disappointed their father

*****

A week later-

Liked by Harryfan4, Harryfan2, Harryfan1 and 987,025 others

DailyNews 'As it was' singer, Harry Styles has just bought a house in LA with his long-time girlfriend. Our sources have found that the couple have been in a relationship for almost 6 years. It's also rumored that the couple have gotten engaged and are getting married soon

View all comments.

Harryfan1 He hid his relationship for 6 years??!

Harryfan2 You're telling me all those mystery woman were just one?

Harryfan4 Damn he's good

Harryfan3 I mean he hid it for a reason...look what happened when it came out

Liked by Harryfan1, Harryfan3, Harryfan2 and 917,441 others

Harryfan4 Look at Y/N when Harry was accepting his grammy😭

View all comments.

Harryfan1 This called me single in 3000 languages

Harryfan3 I want someone who looks at me the way Y/N and Harry look at each other

Harryfan2 The matching suit had me on floor😩Y/N in suit was gay panic at finest

Liked by Annetwist, Yourinstagram, Harryfan2 and 8,617,464 others

harrystyles Grammys, February 2023

View all comments.

Harryfan1 People died🫠

Annetwist Proud of you baby❤️

Harryfan3 the saga for Harry being shirtless on grammys goes on

Yourinstagram So proud of you H!!!💕

Liked by harrystyles

harrystyles wouldn't have done it without you my muse❤️

*****

Please Like, Comment and Reblog!

You can talk to me here♡

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED!

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

My Top 10 list

Favorite Daddy Sex Scandals: Part III

Whether rumored or proven fact, these are a few of my favorite Daddy Sex Scandals.

10. Rex Ryan Foot Fetish

Back in 2010 with the New York Jets are on the verge of making the playoffs, but the focus was off the field as coach Rex Ryan is being asked whether his wife, Michelle, posted foot-fetish videos on the Internet. Ryan never denied report that shows a number of videos of a woman who looks very much like his wife showing off her feet while a cameraman -- who sounds like Ryan -- talks to the woman. Years later, he would admit his love of feet.

Sure, this is mild compared to others on this list, but I like Rex. And I can respect a man who loves his wife… and feet.

9. Tampongate

If there’s a scandal you think of in association with Charles, it’s probably this one. This situation involved Charles, a six-minute phone call and some racy banter between the then Prince of Wales and his mistress, in which he expressed a desire to be reincarnated as Camilla’s Tampax. While Charles was newly separated from Princess Diana at the time the story was published in 1992, the call was recorded five years earlier when he was still very much married, and Camilla was still Mrs. Andrew Parker Bowles. Tampongate tanked Charles’ popularity and Camilla a target for scathing press attention. It’s also thought to have accelerated his divorce.

This proves my theory, no matter what you say about Camilla's looks, her pussy is grrreat.

8. Seventh-term U.S. Congressman Caught Cheating

Republican U.S. Rep. Jeff Duncan said he will not run for an eighth term in his solidly Republican South Carolina district. Probably because his reputation for conservative family values was diminished last year when his wife filed for divorce, saying the congressman left her and was having a sexual relationship with a lobbyist. She said he had been unfaithful before during their 35-year marriage. Apparently, Duncan plans to marry said DC DC lobbyist with whom he's currently living with. SCANDALOUS.

Well… he did look like he would/could be into fuckery.

I just wish it was with me.

7. Sweden’s Carl XVI Gustaf

In 2010, a book on King Carl XVI Gustaf’s private life alleged he was a philanderer and a regular at sex clubs hosted by infamous Mafia boss, Mille Markovic in the earlier years of his reign having had numerous affairs with younger women. He had a secret love affair in the 1990s with Camilla Henemark, a Nigerian-Swedish pop singer and he visited exclusive strip clubs during foreign visits; in Atlanta during the 1996 Olympics (spending two hours in a room alone with a stripper) and in Slovakia in 2008. And after one big dinner ­celebrating a successful elk hunt, he is said to have enjoyed sex with two women at the same time. Claims he never denied.

OK, now I want to fuck him more.

6. Ex-Senator Accused of Sexual Misconduct

David Boren was a governor, a three term United States Senator and the president of the University of Oklahoma. He resigned from his last post after a sexual-misconduct investigation. Even more accusations spanning decades, through Boren's time as a US Senator and Governor which describe he allegedly sexually harassed male aides during his time in Washington. During his campaign for Senate in 1978, he was accused of being gay. Boren denied this, swearing on a family Bible at a news conference that he was not gay or bisexual. He's married. But… where there's smoke, there's fire.

Now sexually harassing people is wrong, but if Boren was sexually harassing me. I’d think I’d hit the jackpot. What? I had a thing for him back when he was a senator. Don’t judge me.

5. Bobby Petrino Motorcycle Scandal

Back in in 2011, the then-51-year-old, Arkansas Razorbacks head coach, Bobby Petrino, a married father of four, had maintained an inappropriate relationship with Dorrell, who was 25 years old at the time, for a "significant" period of time. At one point, Long said, Petrino had given Dorrell a $20,000 gift. All this came out after his now-infamous motorcycle crash in 2011, amid the scandal that led to his firing as the Razorbacks’ head coach. Sadly, the only way I’d catch his interest is if I was woman, blonde, a former volleyball player and into riding motorcycles.

Wait a minute, I can dye my hair, I did play volleyball recreationally and I did ride a motorcycle a few times. Now lets see if I can get him to like dick.

WHAT. I can dream.

4. The Prince and The Sex Offender

Accusations including the association with convicted sex offenders Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, the groping of a woman’s breast and underage sex with a then 17 year old Virginia Giuffre. Throw in he’s an entitled, arrogant asshole and the 72 teddy bears on the bed thing. He had to be stripped of his military and royal titles, resigned from public duties and is living in recluse with his ex Fergie. Andrew has denied any wrongdoing, including in his settlement with Giuffre in 2022. It was a fall from grace for the 64-year-old, who was once second in line to the throne.

3. Bonneville Pegged

Downton Abbey star Hugh Bonneville allegedly hired renowned prostitute and ex-Big Brother star Helen Wood and took out a court injunction to keep it a secret. But Wood broke the cardinal rule of prostitution when she outed Bonneville back in 2012. She also said he was an was a disgusting kisser. He kissed like a virgin and told how she asked the man if he wanted her to use a sex toy on him and that he “eagerly agreed”.

After hearing this, I'll never look at Hugh or his ass in the same way again.

2. The Kraft Day Spa Scandal

In February 2019, Robert Kraft, the billionaire owner of the New England Patriots was charged with soliciting a prostitute. Kraft proves a theory of mine that if a man who was married for a long time (over 45 years) and loses his wife by divorce or in this case, death. Would go crazy for some new strange. He’s fucking a twenty something model/wanna be actress, getting hand jobs at cheap massage parlors and hanging around rappers. Strippers/groupies anyone. And included in all that, I bet he experimenting in man on man sex. You can’t tell me he hasn’t had his dick sucked by a man. By now he's settled down in his marriage to new wife, 32 years his junior.

I ain't mad at him. I'm just mad they didn't release the tape of him in the massage parlors.

1. The King and The Servant

Not to be confused with 'Cash for Titles' scandals, but both involve His Majesty and his former palace valet, Michael Fawcett, one of his closest advisers. Charles has been dogged by gay rumors for decades ever since his marriage to Princess Diana hit the rocks. It’s well known that throughout his 15-year marriage to Di, Charles was carrying on with the wife of one of his close friends, Camilla Parker-Bowles, whom he ultimately wed in 2005. But allegedly, a former palace servant claimed to have seen then Prince Charles and Fawcett having sex when he brought the monarch his breakfast. Hell, even Di had her doubts about the Prince’s sexuality when she heard about the allegations.

Looks like all the proof to these claims has disappeared (lost tape recording of these claims) or died (the servant and Diana ). Do I think it's true. Lets just say, Charles looks the type to experiment.

Why is it #1? It has spawned many a fanfiction featuring His Majesty.

[oubliette-odette]

The Reluctance of Love Pt. 32

Another beautiful day to talk about gay boys fighting for love, amiright?

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31 Content Warnings: violence, light torture All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.

Pain and panic mixed with elation as Selhar half carried me down the steps. 

Lordhovid could only mean one thing. Drunrag was alive somewhere. He was alive. We were once again being pulled back to one another. I only hoped that Gaius meant what he said that help would be waiting for me at the Soaring Elk. 

My head was hanging, my vision blurred by the sweat that slipped into my eyes. I had no idea where we were, my feet were only as useful as keeping me from falling, but not much else and I could hear Selhar’s grunts as he hoisted me up again. 

“I’m…” I grunted. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.” Selhar snapped. “We’re almost there.”

I licked my lips and tasted salt. My clothes felt heavy and damp on me. I couldn’t help but wonder what Drunrag was going through. Was he safe? Was he able to get to me or was he as helpless as I was?

Selhar’s hold on me went slack and I heard him knock on a door. I lifted my head and saw that we were standing in front of a door on what seemed like a quiet street. 

Moments passed slowly and I gasped for another breath as a wave of heat washed over me.

The door finally opened after what felt like a long time, but only by a small crack.

“Who sent you here?” The voice was low and guarded, but not unkind.

Selhar cleared his throat. “Uh…Gaius Gideon said we could come here if we needed help. My brother…something’s wrong with him. Can you help us?”

The door opened more and I looked up again and locked eyes with bright green eyes, surrounded by a soft, grassy green skin. 

“You’re the Duke’s sons?” They asked, their voice suddenly peaked in interest. “Please, come in, boys.”

As the door opened, we both paused as we saw standing before us was a tall woman with wild auburn curls and the softest shade of green skin. Two small fangs peaked just a bit from her bottom lip. She wavered and placed her hands on her round belly, as she backed away from the door.

We stumbled into the house and were welcomed into a room that smelled like herbs and fresh bread. We both stopped and looked around in awe. The room was large and spacious and had tables situated all around to seat many people. There was a fireplace - something I was quite averse to at that moment - with comfortable soft seats around it. A set of stairs led up to another level and looking up I could see a balcony surrounding the perimeter of the room and doors along the walls.

“What is this place?” Selhar asked. 

The door closed quickly behind us and the woman gingerly walked over to us. “This is the Soaring Elk. It’s a safe home for strangers to Berdusk.” She gestured at one of the tables. “Take a seat and let me look at the young lord.”

Selhar made one final grunt before dragging me to the bench at the table and I leaned back and took a gulp of air. 

“Tell me your names.” She said, looking between us both. 

“I’m Selhar, the middle son.” Selhar placed a hand on his chest.

“Which means you must be Altan.” She said gravely. “I know what ails you then.”

I blinked up at her bright, open eyes. “You’re…”

She smiled shyly, “I’m Del. Gaius Gideon is my husband.”

We both found ourselves with our jaws on the ground before our eyes drifted to her belly. She caught the shift and smiled meekly, there was a twinkle in her eye. Never in all my years did I think Gaius Gideon - the stiff, ever vigilant, always-following-the-rules Gaius Gideion - would be a married man or that his spouse would be an orc woman who looks like the embodiment of spring or even that he would even know how to have a child. The entire idea was preposterous. For the briefest of moments, I believe I forgot that I was experiencing lordhovid.

Del Gideon exuded a warmth that was immediately safe and she reached towards me with an open hand, “May I?” She asked. 

Up close, she smelled like marigolds, and her hands were gentle as she pressed them against my forehead. I took a sharp intake of breath as the heat of her skin burned onto mine. She whispered her apologies before pulling back and looking into my eyes, studying me closely. “You know what this is?” She asked.

I nodded, “Lordhovid.”

Her smile was one of understanding. The horrifying thought that perhaps she and Gaius Gideon had experienced this same thing struck me.

Selhar glanced between the both of us, confusion passing over his face.

“These symptoms are worse than normal.” She said, “I’m not sure my herbs will be enough to sate the fever, but perhaps it will help a little. Selhar, would you kindly follow me into the kitchen?”

Selhar sprung to his feet and eagerly followed her back. I noticed the way his eyes were caught on her. If I hadn’t been going through my own personal crisis, I think I too would have been caught by her beauty. Instead, I hung my head back and sighed. 

Minutes later, Del and Selhar returned with a tray carrying various jars, bowls, and a kettle with warm water.

“This will be unpleasant at first,” She said. “But the herbs must be drunk as a tea.”

I groaned, “No more heat.”

She sighed. “I wish I could do that for you, my lord. Selhar, hold this for me.” She handed my brother a small tea cup and proceeded to measure out various herbs from the jars into the cup. She worked quickly and not a single leaf spilled over the edge of the spoon without her knowledge. She then poured the steaming kettle over top and placed a saucer over top. “We’ll let it steep, but you should drink all of it once it’s ready.” She said. 

“What is lordhovid?” Selhar asked in the silence of waiting.

I couldn’t meet his eyes as Del explained the burning lust between Drunrag and I - the connection that kept us always yearning for one another. 

“Will he be this way forever?” Selhar asked, panicked.

Del shook her head, “Once the bond is made, lordhovid fades.”

“How is the bond made?”

Del hesitated, “It requires…physical intimacy.”

Selhar snapped his attention to me, eyes wide. ‘You haven’t slept with him already?”

I shook my head, exasperated at the timing of this conversation. “We didn’t exactly have the time.”

“You ran away for five days!”

“Drunrag’s…anxious.” I said.

Selhar groaned. “I can’t believe we have to deal with this because the two of you are prudes.” He buried his head in his hands and groaned.

“I’m the one suffering right now.” I said.

Del had the decency to say nothing, but her amusement was clear to anyone who looked. She passed me the teacup and gently coaxed me to bring it to my lips.

The water was positively scorching as it fell into my mouth. I flinched at how the hot liquid flowed like lava, but swallowed the contents as quickly as I could. I fell back, heaving and shaking.

“That’s good. You did well. You should feel the heat recede in a few minutes.”

Selhar watched me closely and Del quietly worked at cleaning up the tray and taking it back to the kitchen. Slowly, I felt my body finally slow and stop shaking and I could start to breathe normally. The heat didn’t leave, it felt like a fever from an illness, but it was bearable. I let out a relieved sigh.

“Better?” Del asked, returning. 

I nodded. “My thanks to you.”

She shook her head, “It’s nothing for friends of Gaius. He speaks very highly of you boys.” She settled down with a new tray, this time with sliced bread and two bowls of stew. “I presume the two of you are hungry?”

Selhar nodded and Del served us both the food. I at first felt reluctant to eat more hot food, but Del’s encouraging smile assured me I wouldn’t suffer this time. There was residual pain from the tea, but over time the warm stew settled in my stomach.

“So, I presume something must have happened to bring you here?” She asked, eyebrows raised.

We both nodded. “My father took things too far.”

She nodded. “Gaius has been waiting for him to make a false move. He was grateful to the both of you for warning him of Duke Hilmar’s plans before he could be caught.”

“Where is he?” I asked. 

“I believe he’s looking for aid to stop the Duke.” Her smile softened, ‘And I believe he was hoping he would find your raebukan while out there.”

“Okay, now what does that mean?” Selhar asked. 

“It means mate.” I said this time. 

“Oh.” he said. “Makes sense.”

“I can still feel him.” I said, placing a hand on my chest. “He’s still out there.”

Del’s eyes widened. “You can sense him?” 

I nodded, “Is that not normal?”

“It’s not unheard of, but it’s certainly not common.” She said, “From what my mother told me, those who can sense their raebukan even across great distances are those who possess the purest, strongest bond. It’s a union chosen by Gruumsh.” She shook her head.

“I can’t imagine the God of the Orcs would choose me to be Drunrag’s soulmate.” I said with a grim laugh. 

“Perhaps…but I’ve never been one to understand any god, really.” she said with a shrug.

“Del.” I said. “Do you know how I might find Commander Gideon? I need him to help me find Drunrag. I can’t do it alone.”

She shook her head, “No, you can’t. If you expect to travel, you’ll need to bring some of the tea with you. It only lasts about six hours.”

I sighed. Complications. Always complications.

She rose, “You’re lucky that I have no other guests right now. Get some rest and we’ll set off in the morning to find Gaius and Drunrag.”

“What?” Selhar and I both exclaimed.

She smiled brightly. “Do you think my pregnancy makes me unable to travel?” she laughed and pointed to her fangs. "Half-orc. Remember? I can take a few bumps.”

Neither of us said anything more. We finished our food and obediently followed Del up the stairs to a room with beds prepared. Del assured me she’d be back with more tea before the morning. 

I laid back on the soft bed. There were many questions unanswered, but something finally felt right leaving the Great Hall and finally going out and looking for Drunrag. Perhaps Selhar was right that we created more problems by waiting to consummate our union, but I couldn’t help but think it was to our benefit that we waited. I could feel him, which meant that I could find him.

Want to be updated on new chapters? DM me to be added to the tag list!

@eltrolodecadadia

@sizzlinghideoutcoffee

@carjis

[skibasyndrome]

Finally making a pinned post, hope I do this right

my name is Simon, you can call me that or skibasyndrome or any variation of either that you can think of

25-y/o university student with a passion for literature and languages and everything surrounding that (hmu, I will talk about it for hours)

me and tumblr go way back (like... 2012 way back), but it's only through my very recent discovery of Young Royals (August 2023) that I decided to get back into online fan spaces after a long break (best decision ever btw)

I'm gay and a trans man

I mostly just write fics (or talk about writing)

Feel free to reach out and talk to me about anything and everything, I love talking to people :)

things to note about this blog

I will simp about Omar Rudberg. Sorry, I'm just too gay for whatever it is he is doing 24/7

there's almost always a party in my tags because that's where I go to voice my opinions or just be... emotionally affected by things

hope you like Young Royals, because there's rarely anything else on here these days

personal posts are tagged "simon.out."

should go without saying but fuck right off with any -isms or -phobias

See my Young Royals fics below the cut (or at skibasyndrome on ao3)

It seems a place for us to dream (T, 1.8 k)

Or: The things going through Wilhelm's head during that S3 snippet.

You crave the Applause / Yet hate the Attention (E, chaptered, 4/4, 22.3 k)

Or: How Wilhelm realizes that maybe, if you squint a little, he might have a praise kink.

But I'm a vampire smile, you'll meet a sticky end (E, 4.1 k)

Or: Simon's vampire-esque makeup is really doing things to Wilhelm that he didn't expect. A Halloween fic.

In This Together (T, 3.5 k)

Or: Wilhelm tries — and fails — to surprise Simon with hot chocolate. Simon doesn't mind. Contribution to Wilmon Secret Santa 2023.

It's in the water, baby (E, 4.9 k)

Or: A sweet and spicy story sponsored by the infamous Lake Still (TM) s3 promo pic.

Never Letting You Go (E, 5.7 k)

Or: The infamous Hallway Smut (TM) Scene as briefly seen in the S3 trailer and (re)imagined by me. There's light angst, sex, and so many feelings.

Lavender Haze (E, 13.3 k)

Or: Wilhelm spots the most gorgeous man in a nightclub. He's wearing a lavender shirt that makes Wilhelm's head spin and imagination run wild. And a smile that does things to his heart he's not quite sure what to make of yet.

All this shit is new to me (E, chaptered, 3/?, 24 k)

Or: After meeting and hooking up with Simon at a club, Wille needs to figure out what exactly that means for them (or whether there even is a "them" to figure out). A sequel to Lavender Haze.

Wille's Month 2024:

Day 1 (Sandwich): Vegan butter, two slices of Gouda, a few slices of cucumber (G, 1.6 k) Day 8 (Wedding/Engagement): Roots of Love (T, 1.2 k) Day 9 (Riding): Close, Closer (E, 1.3 k) Day 25 (Hands): Got my Hands all over You (E, 7.1 k)

Simon's Month 2024:

Day 2 (Food): I could eat that boy for lunch (M, 7.9 k) (co-written with @iwouldnevergetintofanfic & @pagegirlintraining) Day 14 (Senses): Kyss mig med dinä röda läppar (or, affectionately: the cherry fic) (T, 3.4 k)

Flash The Camera, You're A Star! (T, 10.1 k) (co-written with @pagegirlintraining)

Or: the one where Wille is an even bigger simp than usual and Simon can’t quite stay mad at him.

(ca.)-5-sentence-ficlets

Or: people send me a sentence, I write 5 or more sentences to turn it into a ficlet. wild variety of stories ranging from dark to fluffy to (slightly) steamy (always open for these types of prompts)

YR Kinktober 2024 (Masterpost here)

Day 1: Sit back and watch (I'm gonna dance for you) (masturbation & spit) “Have you never thought about it?” he asks, and Simon is about to chide him for avoiding a question with a follow-up-question, but Wille is pushing on. “I’m just curious,” he says, pointedly casual about it (Simon doesn’t buy it, Wille seldom feels ‘just’ anything, he’s a thinker, that man, sometimes to a fault). “I’ve never seen you do it.” And, as if he’s sensing the protest that’s about to come out of Simon’s mouth: “Without me fucking you, I mean.”

Day 2: Sharpen your teeth, sink into me (marks & biting) “Please,” is all he can muster, eyes squeezed shut against the threat of tears, of overwhelm, of having everything he tried to hold in come spilling out. Not now, he thinks, not yet. He needs more, needs Simon’s mouth and hands and body to coax the raw emotion out of him. Needs to feel it all before he can truly let go. Fingers digging into the skin of Simon’s back, into the straining muscles of his shoulder blades, he swallows again, forces his voice to form the words, broken fragments scattered for Simon to put back together. “Simon,” he breathes. ”Need you, please.”

Day 3: In silence, I'm yours (sound/staying quiet, hands & 69) “Shit,” he whispers, moves to pull away, but is stopped. Simon’s fingers quickly wrap around his wrist, keep it in place, keep it right there, right where it’s firmly pressed over Simon’s mouth. Wille just looks at his palm, then into Simon’s eyes. They’re wide, staring back up at Wille, glinting dangerously. And, for a moment, neither of them moves. It’s Simon who makes the first move, who now, after all, tugs Wille’s palm away from his face. His eyes are still intently boring into Wille’s and, god, Wille feels himself twitch inside of Simon at the sudden charge of the air around them. “Wanna try to make me?” Simon whispers, almost breathless now.

Day 4: Love the shape of your mouth (and the back of your head) (makeup, praise kink, oral sex, deepthroating and light dacryphilia) “You can’t keep saying that,” is all she says as she drops her head down and onto Simon’s stomach. He hears her let out a frustrated little noise into the fabric of his dress shirt, and he laughs, pointedly ignoring the way her proximity to his crotch is making him feel. She's laughing, too, that same carefree laugh that Simon’s been thinking about all evening. He puts a hand on the back of her head, stroking over her hair for a moment. “I mean it, though, Wille” he says, because he’s not going to let her deflect again. “You look stunning.”

[myrmica]

2, 7, 25 for princezam? for me pretty please? :D

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

such a hard question to answer because i am very fond of him. i think just like. the way he functions as a character in season 4 where the audience is constantly positioned inside of his head, with startlingly few breaks in continuity because of how often he streams and how little he hides from the audience. and how this plays into/amplifies all of his problems, and stands to contrast him from other characters... vitalasy especially whose pov feels very different. Also his attachment to lifesteal itself and his ideal of it and his relationship with irrational belief and the way he short circuits when asked to acknowledge or confront it. Also the way frustration works for him emotionally. Also i love his stupid little face

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

HMMMMM... so much variety in character design he's versatile and people do all kinds of things with it so it's exciting whenever a new zam pops up. you could create a taxonomy of zams. different species are evolving. my second answer is the relentless gay shipping

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

it was april 1st 2022 and i had just heard the name "clownpierce" for the first time, because ivorycello mentioned him on a livestream. so i click on youtube.com/clownpierce and watch the video you know the video clownpierce branzycraft gay thing whatever. princezam is there, sort of, but he slides off of my brain entirely. absolutely net zero impact. nothing positive nothing negative. he is a yellow speck on the ground to me. a year later the first season 4 vod i see is deliverance and i hear vitalasy yell "Zam doesn't care about me. Zam cares about YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" at subz while subz tries to fucking suicide parent trap these dudes back together. thus, by technicality, my first impression of princezam was "🏳️‍🌈?"

Now well now he's my favorite character ever

[conniesrockstargf]

Rant of 9/27/23

Y'know one of the best things about being 19 is? The limbo of leaving the teens to being a starter adult.

It's the age where people 25+ constantly tell you that you're too young for A, too young to feel B, too young to know about C. It's so demeaning and invalidating.

I'll say, that as a girl who worked 3 jobs in her first semester of college, freshly 18, I'm fucking exhausted. I'm the oldest daughter of my family (which is a whole cause for therapy in its fucking self) which means that I've spent literally my whole life up to now, taking care of family. When i was 3, my grandmother kicked me and my 3 month old little brother out of her residence because she got into a spat with my mom. Even before that i was taking care of my younger siblings. When on family vacations, i am involuntarily designated babysitter (for children and (drunk) adults).

I work two jobs. One in a hospital kitchen, full time and the other as a barista part time. I am constantly on my feet for 7+ hours a day, tending to people who could care less about me.

When i was 16, i almost committed suicide in my bathroom. Still haven't been to therapy. 🩷

As a person having been through the bulllshit of life, it's really fucking frustrating when "older" adults try to disqualify my experiences because I'm young. Age has nothing to do with it! We all experience things differently and at different times, but that doesn't mean that anyone's journey is invalid.

I am a black, queer girl. I've got ENOUGH problems 😭. I don't need some millennials and oldheads in my face trying to tell me that I can't be tired or feel overwhelmed.

If i have every right to be grateful then i have every right to fucking complain. If i say I'm tired, I'm tired. If i say my feet fucking hurt, they hurt. If i say that i like Hello Kitty, i fucking like Hello Kitty. These older generations need to get through their heads that this generation is still human. Regardless of any technological advances or any other bs that our species comes up with, at the end of the day, nothing can make us more or less of a human than the next person. We have been beaten down by society forcing heteronormative, gender-biased, and eurocentric stereotypes and roles on us, which only hinder the true experience of being a human. We're surviving instead of living. It's truly a cruel world.

We're on a floating rock in the middle of fucking space and you're trying to argue about work ethic?! Please stfu.

Just enjoy the time that you have here and spread kindness. I don't understand why we can't do this 😞😭.

THIS PLACE FUCKING BLOWS 👎🏾

^^^ i do make them for fun, so if you wanna send an idea for any, my asks are always open.

I'll do anything I'm familiar with,

; tv shows, movies, characters, music, art, fashion, etc.

[big-meows]

ty @bobtheacorn for the tag!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25 written/cowritten, 1 I provided illustrations for

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

161,862 give or take! I subtracted the contents of This is How We Grow by @partly-cloudyskies which I only drew for, but not the self indulgent OC project cowritten with @jofngve, even though they did most of the writing

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently: Twisted Wonderland; Historically: Ducktales, Infinity Train, Luca, Outer Wilds, Trolls World Tour, Zelda, Vtubers. Some of those are only one-offs because I said the thing I needed to say and moved on.

4. Top five fics by kudos?

God Only Knows (Luca) @ 1380

Something to do with my hands (Infinity Train) @ 945

Anthem for the Motel Tamarack (Infinity Train) @ 550

Albireo (Infinity Train) @ 526

Stand By Me (Ducktales) @ 488

Wild to me that the rymin series is so far up there? I was not in IF fandom for very long before the community soured and I bailed BUT I shant complain, those were good boys and I liked the time I spent with them (HASHTAG RENEW INFINITY TRAIN)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try. Like, especially if someone took the time to write a lot, I try to engage to at least say thank you, because it makes ME really happy when an author responds to MY comments (and assures me I didnt just stick my foot in my mouth or overstep a line or something lol) I have a lot of anxiety about leaving comments because I followed a writer in the Zootopia fandom who was REALLY vocal about how she hated certain comments or commentary, typo corrections or "I've never read this kind of au BUT..." comments and I got REAL in my head about comment etiquette for a LONG time. BUT! Comments and feedback are so vital to me so I try to comment and respond to comments so everyone feels seen and maybe we can make a connection? My Luca fandom friend group is still going strong because we were so incredibly aggressive about supporting one another.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The Apex of a Bad Decision. It's a canon-compliant Outer Wilds, fic, so. :,)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of the rest of them! I'm squishy!!! But I think the most obviously and deliberately triumphant one is God Only Knows.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't think I've gotten hate on a fic since I posted Wilbur Robinson self-cest to Livejournal in 2007, when WHY IS THIS GAY was a common response to slashfic. I've gotten plenty of hate for having an online presence while shipping kids or teenagers, but not on the fic itself (that I can recall!)

9. Do you write smut?

Sure! Not often. It's always a character exploration and I know how that sounds but I promise its true! It's always about being open and vulnerable and baring souls and loving and taking care of someone who needs to be loved and taken care of. I don't think I've ever written genuinely horny smut, not that I'd know because I dont really get horny. People (antis) have this idea that everyone is writing smut with one hand down their pants and that we're "getting off" on it and are perhaps ignorant to the fact that sex is not inherently a base filthy thing, its emotional and vulnerable and full of feelings and teenagers have those feelings too and writing about teens having those feelings does not mean I am inherently jerking it to teenagers fucking. Im EMOTIONALLY jerking it to teenagers having BIG FEELINGS. that's different.

10. Craziest crossover?

I've never written a crossover! FUCK I forgot the mystery teens summer. There was a specific summer (*googles* August 2012!) when gravity falls was at it's peak and Paranorman had just come out and tumblr as a hivemind decided Norman Babcock, the Pines twins, Raz Aquato (Psychonauts) and some other kids from various supernatural media needed to meet and hang out, like a much briefer superwholock or rise of the frozen tangled dragons. the big ship at the time was Dipper/Norman. I mightve done a quick ficlet posted to tumblr in that time frame. When summer ended, the phenom ended abruptly exactly as if we had all left summer camp and gone back home.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nnnnot to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had plenty of requests! I don't know if they've ever finished/gone through with it, though. I'd be a hypocrite if i wasnt in favor of it, considering how much time I spend screenshotting jamikali doujin and feeding it through google translate lmao

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I didn't think I ever would, but the time jo and I spent doing OC stuff together was a delight, though tbf they did most of the heavy lifting. I don't know if I would do it again...I feel like the OC stuff worked because we built it from the ground up but idk if I could do a fandom thing the same way, what if we had slightly different opinions on a blorbo and I had to COMPROMISE? idk man

14. All time favourite ship?

ohhhhhhhh idk if i can answer that. Whatever I love in the moment is is my otp. The rest simmer on the backburner but whatever the mental illness deems is the priority is the only thing I could ever conceive of loving this much. I think Weblena might have done the most brain damage to me. I wrote the most fic for it, I made the most art for it, I was team weblena for more years than anything else, I endured the most shit for them without giving up. But at this exact moment in time I'm like "those were very nice girls and i loved them very much and I know they made me insane for literal years but surely they dont compare to the truly unhinged mania i feel for sexy anime schoolboy jafar and sexy anime schoolboy sultan of agrabah" (it is the same level of mania, actually)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

idek if i want to finish it but I had a few sunfish (iykyk) drafts kicking around that could have been good. Its a good ship imo and I wanted to get into the whole "I know I've kind of adopted you as my surrogate dad but what if that was a hasty decision and we kissed instead" angle but then I developed a severe case of cringe avoidance and I wont be doing anymore vtuber fic lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm told I do good at characterization which is a relief because when I write I feel like the first stage of any "galaxy brain" meme where I'm thinking in only two dimensions orz Also! Its very flattering but whenever I create an OC to fill a necessary role in a fic people really seem to enjoy them.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action... The boring but necessary filler that gets you from point a to point b.... I can only write in 2nd person and i know I KNOW everyone fucking hates it and people wont even TOUCH 2ndPOV but it flows so EASILY when i dont have to stop and juggle pronouns or even names!!! i feel more thoroughly seated in the POV character's head! it lubricates the process and sometimes I think i only ever get anything done ever because i write in 2ndPOV im sorry!!! Im sorry but I wont change!! its more important that I get the demons out than it is that you read my fic.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Sparingly and with Purpose! (<<Bob I'm stealing your answer) (i realize your name is not actually bob but I've been calling you bob in my head for years now sorry) I used italian vocab occasionally in Luca fic because it's used heavily in the movie to create a sense of unfamiliarity for the boys who were trying to integrate themselves into human society but didn't understand most things they encountered. It's soooooo bad when done wrong, though. I'll never shut up about the jamikali fic i opened that had Jamil call Kalim habibi in the first paragraph, I almost threw my phone across the room. Like first of all they don't do that in the source material, any arabic used is very clearly in the context of an "old/ancient language" that no one is speaking on the daily and second of all he would not fucking say that!!!!!

19. First fandom you wrote in?

The Sonic 2 fanfic i tried to write back in 1993 is between me and the lisa frank notebook kept under my bed. My first published-on-the-internet fic was the aforementioned Wilbur Robinson (Meet the Robinsons) self-cest. I went back to ff.net to see if it was still there and if I could rewrite it (it would rule in 2ndPOV actually) but..........its gone. Either it got purged or I purged it myself during the ducktales cyberbullying fiasco. First fandom of current era fic writing was Ducktales. (thank you ducktales for all youve done for me)

20. Favourite fic you've written?

God Only Knows is probably the best thing I've ever written, but picking apart the world building in Outer Wilds for Apex was really fun and rewarding and when I get feedback on it its always (crying emoji) (crying emoji) (sad face emoji) (skull emoji) which is ALSO fun and rewarding but in a totally different way.

tagging @jofngve @partly-cloudyskies and uhhhh anyone else if they wanna!

[iwantjobs]

7/10/2024: Look, Trang cracked a smile even though she's smelly because it's the end of a hot day but never dirty (for none of my body parts touches the dirt or food or bathroom crap; and my female places abd armpits are washed with little water and plain soap 3 times a day because the eging body stinks of death as we age. My hands are always lightly washed with soap and water when I have to pull out my nose boogers and touch the saliva of my mouth when brushing teeth. My hands always washed after touching the female parts to clean. I hate me not washing their hands after touching their male parts to pee. I hate men not wiping their ass after number two and have poop stuck on their undies. Nasty vile man. My teeth are always brushed, flossed, and tongue scrapped but the breath of an aging human coupled with depression stinks very often so I am ok never to kiss again. Moreover, ethnic people, people with melanin, and even white people with some thingy color do stinks more so we have to work extremely hard to maintain our stench. However light skin people might stink less, they tend to take advantage of their light smelliness and get them self in forty places like throw bags and jackets onto the bathroom floor of the library, jump onto their beds with their slippers and outside shoes, they put their dry clean clothes on the floor of their room, sit on the streets floor, etc. So diseases like. Nasty) and about to jump into shower. It's all because of the stretching on my arms,shoulders, neck, and head using my paws and hooks to grab onto chairs, sewing machine, corners of coffee table, and leaning my neck against them as if I have 5 physical therapists grabbing on top legs, arms, and head to stretch. Now the pain of the tightness of depression is reduced by 25% and things feels lighter as I walk. OK, I'll be off away from the Internet to stretch to see if it works to prepare me to write the Palestinian lawsuit reply on 7/22. See me back a few days after that if you want to see the power of my way of stretching, the crippled on your back way. See ya alligators. Trang's thinking at 51.23 years old. Oh no, smiling causes wrinkles and it looks stupid on old people and all people if done too much so Ill go back to my blank mental face again.also, for fear Tumblr might shut down because its going broke, I have shifted some of my content to X because it's not too gay and it suddenly allows me to use my email address to open a new account instead of my phone number lole before. Tumblr will be my website that is my main work: philosophy.

[granvarones]

The first time I heard the euro-pop sensation Aqua’s Barbie Girl was in the summer of 1997, at a party We The People organized in Clementon Park, New Jersey. The DJ was mixing bona fide house hits with contemporary jams. I remember this so vividly because I watched someone do “hand performance” to the song that was a newly minted hit. This was also one of those moments that I definitely knew I was gay because I felt like Barbie Girl was composed for LGBTQ folks; not sure how I came to that conclusion, but it just felt gay. I was 13 years old, journeying through puberty and trying to understand myself, but I recognized the subtle ways queer culture could be found in pop music. And now, more than 25 years since I first heard Barbie Girl, it remains a song that resonates and reminds me of what is remembered, who has gone, and the richness of their lives.

We The People was an AIDS service organization in Philadelphia, serving the most vulnerable HIV positive community, and my mother Melody E. Beverly worked there. Most of the organization’s service population was Black and brown people, people who inject drugs, and housing-insecure people with an AIDS diagnosis. It had a brick-and-mortar building at the corner of Broad and Lombard Street. Now a Taqueria with its own controversial history, at the end of the 1990s, it held precious work of caring for the community, with housing units atop, with an industrial-style kitchen. I remember this because I loved volunteering with building residents, preparing and cooking meals. I also had a thing for the biscuits that were often there.

On a hot day in the summer of ‘97, my mother and I arrived to begin boarding a bus to head over to the party at Clementon Park, which also included barbeque. While waiting to board the bus, I overheard Curtis speaking to a Black man who seemed exhausted if he had been taking AZT. This was a year after HAART was established as a standard for HIV care, and people were taking what we now know to be toxic medicine to manage their HIV. The introduction of highly active antiretroviral therapy, or combination therapy, would mean that people who had been living with HIV could live longer lives. I always think about that moment of Curtis checking in with a community member about his health when navigating my own care. I still appreciate the way it was normalized as a communal approach to medicine adherence. Curtis was my mother’s supervisor. He was a charismatic Black gay man with a bald head. Curtis was the sweetest and most sincere person. He was also a drag performer, I had seen him perform for a holiday party and was in awe of him.

Aqua, a Danish musical group, released their single Barbie Girl in April 1997, from their debut album Aquarium that was released in March of the same year. The track has a synth-pop-house vibe to it, with bubblegum vocals from lead singer Lene, who plays Barbie in the music video for the song. René, another band member, plays Ken, in a campy and hilarious capture of a Barbie world; it does a beautiful job of both bringing humanity to a plastic doll and making the cringey nature of American consumerism visible in a funny way. This is ironic, because during a 2017 interview for Nylon Lene disclaims its politics and sexist overtones by stating that “it was kind of making fun of the Pamela Anderson kind-of girl” and says the song is “super-innocent.” To me, Barbie Girl now appears to be making a statement about bodily autonomy and misogyny. With the incessant lyric, “I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world.” This song makes me think about people who lived with HIV, like Curtis, who were living full and flourishing lives at a tender and promising point in the ongoing AIDS crisis.

Barbie Girl topped global charts and was part of a musical era that included the resurgence of unapologetic bubblegum pop music, led in part by the Spice Girls’ Wannabe, a year earlier. Barbie Girl peaked at number 7 on the US Billboard Hot 100.

Now the song has a new life in the context of Barbie, the anticipated movie featuring Margot Robbie as the title character original Barbie. Barbie World, a rap track by Nicki Minaj & Ice Spice for the Barbie soundtrack, samples Barbie Girl in a perfect way. I’m most certain Barbie Girl will have a second life on TikTok and a new generation will be embraced by the gummy-gayness of late nineties music, and remember that there were people who existed then, plagued by an epidemic that rendered their stories untold. They too are Barbie Girls, even in their afterworlds, they paved the way for us to live fantastically in the skin we’re in.

Signed, a Barbie Girl from the nineties.

I’m always yours Xx

Abdul-Aily Muhammad ( @mxabdulaliy )

They/Them/Thiers

gran varones Mentor

Philadelphia, PA

[noa-ciharu]

I've seen your Fuuma supremacy post on birb app (and love it!) and as a fellow Fuuma appreciator I'd like to ask you for gathering twelve reasons to why Fuuma is great / should be appreciated more~ uwu 👉👈

Hohoho that's an interesting one. Honestly it's a bit hard to put into words why certain character is underappreciated cuz it's hard to pinpoint what makes ppl get attached to character in the first place. But I'll try my best :D

1) honestly his early X self. He's so kind and gentle to Kotori and Kamui, very protective brother and friend. Also how soft he and Kamui are back then 🥺 and touchy feely with one another

2) speaking of early X Fuuma, just look at how gay he was for Kamui from the very start

Who the hell thinks of their friends in this shojo typical style??? With sakura petals and sparkles to the boot?? Good boy Fuuma was so head over heels for Kamui, it was adorable 😭♥️ good bf material

3) oke so onto his more complex and intriguing late X self: the enigma of what precisely happened. I've seen some people are discouraged by permanent hiatus and lack of elaboration just what happened to Fuuma. And while yes, I too would prefer if we had answered, mystery and head-scratchers are intriguing to me. I love to speculate, to analyze the possibilities with what we've been given so far. Which brings me to the next point:

4) there's more to late X Fuuma than it meets the eye. It's easy to dismiss him as sadistic without a cause villian (as he's portrayed in X anime sadly) but in manga that's far from the case. Like take this scene for example:

It's true he's ruthless in fulfilling people's wishes and doing bad deeds but look at his expression. That's not face of a man who's too delighted by causing mayhem, in fact looks more saddened by the fact too many people lose sight of themselves in process of caring for their loved ones

5) his more childish/bratty side

This scene in Ebisu before the destruction in vol4 for example. It was equally adorable and sinister given you know who Fuuma is but his kindness did seem genuine. Similar mischief can be seen in his interactions with Seishirou, Kakyou to some degree and sometimes when interacting with other Dragons

6) wish seeing ability and his general omnipotence. I love how he appears like personification of Judgment arcana (just taken on a darker meaning), how he can see deep inside person's heart and see what wishes dwell there. And how he delivers judgement by making those wishes reality. Tbh, I'm not trying to justify Fuuma's actions here but characters around him really do have fucked up wishes (ahem, Subaru, ahem Nataku) - X is basically a story about messed up people in messed up situations. In some lighert X AU he would have severed as a Santa claus or something but alas, X is far from light story

7) simply, these ambiguous lines

Fuuma is judging others on their lack of self awareness 25/8. Add scene with Karen and that "if killing others is wrong then why do we lose sight of what's truly important" line. As well as many more. Honestly maybe it's just me, but there's something ♥️ about characters that are 'above others' but still have a weakness/vulnerability that's tying them back to same humans they're supposed to be above (in Fuuma's case that's obviously his connection to Kamui). In X it's wishes that give characters sense of humanity and will to live and Fuuma himself isn't above wishing; his wish is connected to Kamui one way or another

8) how to not mention his homoerotic courtship battles with Kamui? Iconic honestly. Where else would you get this type of content that's not a BL manga

All shonen battles can go home these are only type that matter

9) oke so since since we're getting shallow for a bit: HE'S HOT AF ♥️🔥 I mean look at those evil smirks

10) I can't find a panel rn but at one point when Kamui said his wish is to bring old Fuuma back current Fuuma's eyes widened and that's the first and last time in series he appeared genuinely shocked. Which leads me to obviously question: why? Does it shock him Kamui wants other Fuuma back? Is Kamui wanting old Fuuma back somehow contradicting Fuuma's own wish (like if only way old Fuuma can come back is if Kamui were to die and Fuuma's wish is for Kamui to live)? I want to know what his wish is 🥺 I'm torn between him wanting Kamui to acknowledge his new self and wanting Kamui to start appreciating himself and wanting to live no matter what. Maybe it's both of those, maybe those wishes are connected somehow 🤔 either way it's that head-scratcher of what precisely late X Fuuma wished for that's intriguing. Maybe it's connected to old Fuuma's wish to protect Kamui but why hurt him so much then??

I need coffee for this

11) honestly, all the softer conflicting expressions he has, especially when Kamui is in question. Like this one for example

So soft and torn 🥺 Imma go cry why so emotional 😭😭😭 obvs this isn't the only instance, manga is filled with those subtle scenes where he's talking to Kamui or thinking about him with rather conflicting yearning expressions

Which bring me to the last one:

12) this scene. Prediction, whatever you call it. I need to know what will happen 😭😭😭

Look. Fuuma is one of my fave characters so it's only natural I want to see him suffer. I need him to break down cuz of something Kamui did, or even cuz of his death. I want him to be crushed under weight of his emotions and angst 🥺🙏 Wish master who can grant anyone's wish yet there's noone to grant him his own now that Kamui is no longer alive. So my point here is that Fuuma and generally whole late X setting is perfect angst material

All in all, I guess it's Fuuma's complexity that made him one of my faves. There's way more to him than it meets the eye

[atuats-sidechick]

5. Guilty pleasures?

7. Celebrity crush?

8. How many languages do you know?

25. What's a controversial opinion you have?

28. What is something you are sure you'd NEVER do?

Bonusss 🕺🕺: choose one question from the full list you want to anwser

asdfghjkl so many! thank you <3

5. Well, Tumblr and fandom for sure. I used to be obsessed with RPDR (a normal amount, no live shows, no hating on social, no harassment), but I guess I'm over it now. Hmnn I don't know if food counts, but I definitely have sushi way too often.

7. Never had one, BUT I did see a woman who looked just like Judith Butler once and I went crazy. I knew it wasn't her though, so I don't know if it counts.

8. I'd say I'm fluent in Portuguese and English. I can read French literature and philosophy and I've watched some philosophy lectures in French and kept up with the content. But if you put a gun to my head I cannot speak French. I can read internet Spanish, but it's only because it's so close to Portuguese. And that's it. I've tried learning German three times and simply gave up. I've taken Latin and Greek too but... just no.

25. I don't know if this is controversial on Tumblr (the gay, found family website), but I firmly believe that if your family doesn't respect you, you owe them nothing. I'm lucky to be very close with my parents and one of my aunts, but I've cut out basically everybody else and I'm quite happy about it.

28. I'm sure there are more serious answers to this, but HANG GLIDING. I used to take my dog to a beach where people do it daily and I could never.

17. Embarrassing memory: I was awarded a prize at uni and when I went to get it, I stumbled and fell on the stage. Love that for me.

[nerdygaymormon]

Hi!

I'm a closeted heterosexual uranic demisexual she/they demigirlflux (a lot of labels, sorry) who is an active member of the church, and I just wanted to say that I appreciate you existing as a middle ground between queer people and mormons!

My parents are highly anti-LBGTQ+, which is why I'm still closeted, however I have been more open online bc I feel it's easier to be understood, but unfortunately I could almost never find any Christians of any kind who were queer, which meant I felt a bit torn about whether or not I was right to be queer.

I have never been able to find stuff about being anything but transgender in the Gospel Library and places like that, so I'm just rolling with it and hoping that I'm not making a huge mistake.

I have also had a lot of internalised queerphobia because of my parents and their active stance of 'all gays should burn and the other transsexuals should too', especially since they have threatened to kick me out and disown me should they find i'm anything but cishet.

Basically, I'm just happy to find someone who I hope I could talk to since we're both mormon and queer in some way shape or form.

Feel free to talk to me if you want!

~ Katsura

I'm sorry that your parents have such strong anti-LGBTQ+ views, I know that makes things stressful for you.

As far as finding things in the Gospel Library on queer topics, you'll find same-sex attraction (lesbian, gay & bi) and transgender. The church doesn't seem to be aware that there's any other identities out there.

For learning about queer topics, Tumblr is a good place to land, it's the queerest place on the internet with 25% of users identifying as LGBTQ. It's been the place where a some of queer identities were labeled and defined, and where several Pride flags were created.

Internalized queerphobia is rough. We heard all those rejecting messages and internalized them, and now that we understand ourselves to be queer those messages in our head are rejecting us. While you're in the closet, the advice I have is to find other queer people to hang around, even if it's online. Queer members especially will get you in a way others don't. If you aren't on the Queerstake Discord, message me and I'll get you an invite

And when you hear a rejecting message, push back against it. You may not be able to speak up against the messages, but at least in your head say something positive.

Another way you can affirm yourself is get a few things in Pride flags. The Uranic, Demisexual, and the Demigirlflux Pride flags are beautiful and most people will not recognize what they are. You could get 3 bracelets, one for each with those colors, or little pins of those flags to have mixed in with other pins on your backpack.

One thing we learn at church is to "liken the scriptures unto ourselves." I try to look at the scriptures with my queer eyes and it makes a difference, I can find principles and lessons for me, basically queerifying the scriptures. I sometimes make posts about them. Here's a link to several and you can choose to read them if you want:

Genesis 16 - Hagar : We may still be required to deal with difficult situations, but we have a God who hears us, a God who knows us

1 Samuel 16:7 - The Lord Looketh on the Heart : Gender & orientation are matters of the heart and God knows us for who we are

Galatians 3:28 - Ye Are All One in Christ Jesus : The scriptures say that all our diversity is welcome by Christ

2 Nephi 26:33 - All are Alike Unto God : When will the Church embrace all people?

Moses 6:31 - Enoch doesn’t See Himself as God Does : When queer people accept ourselves it opens 1000 doors of possibility

Katsura, feel free to DM me whenever you want

-David