#there are a bunch of essays in here

[chirpsythismorning]

source

[clandestine-j]

can we not use the Tommy tag when we’re just making post about he’s a stepping stone for buddy?

Tommy deserves better

[purpurussy]

hi. once you mentioned your thoughts on the take that phil stayed in the closet for dan. could you share it again with the class again. sorry

⚠️ Dan and Phil DNI⚠️

dsfhjjkl I fear I'm not well-educated enough on the lore to have an accurate take. and it's really the notion that he "went back in the closet" for dan that bothers me. but I'll try to explain how I see it and people can feel free to link me to the vitally important receipts that I'm missing here which change the whole narrative lmao

the thing is I don't think it was 100% because of dan. i do think phil would have come out sooner if dan had been in a better headspace with everything, but imo it's not entirely accurate to say that phil would have been out and proud on youtube the entire time otherwise because as far as I can tell, he wasn't ever in that position 😭 would an out and proud man have made snokoplasm.

I think phil was referring to himself as bi on myspace but so was dan back in the day. and I think id'ing as bi in a setting where you don't expect that many people to see it beyond your personal network is a very different kettle of fish from being completely vulnerable and honest about your identity as a full-on celebrity. Phil has also told anecdotes that make me feel like he had 1 foot in the closet and 1 foot out in some ways (eg auditioning for big brother and then being terrified that they'd post his audition tape bc he said he was gay and then instantly regretted it, getting outed to his family by a friend when he was in college and having an awful time with that whole situation) and I certainly haven't seen anything that would lead me to believe he was ever really out as gay (and proud) on youtube at any point before 2019. Phil has also alluded to experiencing internalized homophobia/feeling like there was something wrong with him for being gay, and I feel like people gloss over that since it wasn't as severe as Dan's experiences.

so I don't think it's entirely accurate to say phil "went back in the closet" for dan firstly because I don't think he was ever fully out of the closet until 2019. he was certainly not out and proud with 0 caveats. like he never said it with his whole chest until coty.

then there's the fact that there can be real-world consequences to coming out which can be hard to predict or manage. things are a little different now but I can imagine it would have been tough trying to do a risk-benefit analysis of coming out when they were working with the BBC, trying to get things like world tours and book deals off the ground, and also I think they were probably not hugely financially secure back then (especially very early on/around the time they moved to London). like this is pure conjecture, but I can imagine it could have been tough to come out as gay, not knowing if you'd be inadvertently tanking a career opportunity because oh never mind we already have an openly gay radio presenter on this show and we don't need 2 more, or oh no don't do that because then we'll have to cancel the shows in Russia and Malaysia or whatever ykwim? (I assumed this was also part of the reason why dan had a breakdown about wanting to come out before II started but again that's based on nothing lmao)

now that I'm thinking about nick grimshaw coming out as gay in 2012 and co-hosting the radio show with them I feel like I'm connecting some dots but again this is just me yapping. I remember finding out he was gay back then and I vaguely remember people posting about feeling "betrayed" or being otherwise homophobic towards him but I can't remember whether the general reaction was positive or negative at the time. I also feel like there's something to be said for the fact that a lot of actors/people in situations like this feel like they're competing against other members of their marginalized community, because they can't both be hired for 2 different important roles because there can only be 1 token gay/poc or whatever. anyway food for thought I guess

I also think it's easy to assume Phil was just chilling the entire time since he plays his cards a lot closer to his chest than Dan. he doesn't like to talk about stuff like this as openly as dan and i think that results in us focusing a lot more on Dan's experiences (which makes sense since that's the information we have to work with, but still). he's hinted that it was rough for him to deal with the speculation about them and their relationship back in the day as well, and while I'm the last person to encourage people to start self-flagellating for the demon era, I do think it's worth considering that it can't have been easy for Phil either (I mean it was his face and words in the v-day video. I would have probably been institutionalized if that happened to me I'm just saying. the factors that led to dans no homo era can't have been easy for Phil to deal with either)

point is I think there were a lot of factors that kept them both in the closet. I do agree of course that Phil would've come out sooner if it weren't for dan needing to work through his issues before he was ready to come out (Phil has certainly said as much) but I don't think it's the only reason. I think it was certainly a show of the trust and respect he has for dan that he waited for Dan to be ready in the end, but I also think it's inaccurate when people talk as though dan singlehandedly kept Phil in no homo jail for 10 years and he would've been out and proud the entire time if Dan hadn't had a mountain of trauma and internalized homophobia to work through before he was ready to come out (which as dan himself has said, may have been a lot sooner than 2019, but there were other factors that kept him from being able to do that first)

[tricoufamily]

visiting the hometown

(want everyone to know this edit came to me in a dream and i changed the lore just to do it)

[blueteller]

Cale and Impostor Syndrome

From discord, sent by @Jalffy22's dad, who apparently used Chatgpt… to diagnose Cale with Impostor Syndrome?? As well as my own thoughts on analysis on it.

Cale Henituse is a character from the popular Korean web novel series "Trash of the Count's Family" written by Yoo Ryeo Han. Impostor syndrome can be explained in the context of Cale Henituse and his journey within the story. Cale Henituse, as a character, experiences various aspects of Impostor Syndrome: Comparing Himself to Others: Throughout the story, Cale Henituse often finds himself comparing his abilities to those of other characters, especially his closest allies and mentors. This self-comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy, especially when he believes he falls short in comparison to powerful figures like Alberu Crossman or Raon Miru. Downplaying His Achievements: Despite his significant accomplishments, Cale often downplays his own achievements. He might attribute his successes to luck or the help of others, rather than acknowledging his own talents and efforts. Fear of Being Unmasked: Cale's reluctance to reveal his true identity as the "Trash of the Count's Family" can be seen as a manifestation of impostor syndrome. He fears being exposed as a fraud, even though he consistently takes on important roles and responsibilities within the story. Reluctance to Seek Help: Cale often hesitates to seek assistance or advice from others, even when he faces challenging situations. This hesitancy may stem from a belief that he should be able to handle everything on his own, contributing to his impostor syndrome. Setting Unrealistic Standards: Cale frequently sets high and often unrealistic standards for himself, striving for perfection in his decisions and actions. This tendency can lead to stress and burnout as he constantly pushes himself to be better. In the context of Cale Henituse and his experiences, here's how you can relate impostor syndrome to your passion for "Trash of the Count's Family" or to your own experiences: Recognize Your Achievements: Just as Cale should acknowledge his accomplishments, you should recognize and celebrate your own successes and contributions in your passion. Understand that your engagement and dedication are valuable. Embrace Learning: Accept that it's okay not to know everything about the story or the characters. "Trash of the Count's Family" is filled with intricate plotlines and characters, and it's natural to learn and grow along the way. Seek Support: Connect with other fans of the series who share your passion. Engaging with fellow enthusiasts can help you gain a deeper understanding of the story and characters, and it can provide valuable support. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. It's perfectly normal to have limitations and areas where you may not have all the answers or insights. Self-compassion can go a long way in alleviating feelings of impostor syndrome. Set Realistic Goals: Define achievable goals within your passion that align with your knowledge and interests. This will help you enjoy your journey while gradually building your expertise. Remember that impostor syndrome can affect anyone, even fictional characters like Cale Henituse. By recognizing your own worth and embracing your passion for "Trash of the Count's Family," you can overcome impostor syndrome and fully enjoy your involvement in the fandom.

***

Now, with the AI stuff out of the way… (Man it really feels like reading a medical textbook doesn't it? You can tell it was written by an AI…) Let's discuss what our dear AI told us about Impostor Syndrome, and how Cale is overcoming it throughout the story.

That aspect can be easily overlooked, even though Cale clearly experiences character growth as time goes on. Sure, it's snail-paced and it can be frustrating at times – but you can blame it all on the trauma. A 36-year-old man with a list of traumas long enough to fill a restaurant menu sure deserves to be given some slack for being a bit slow on the "healing" process.

Comparing Himself to Others vs Embracing Learning

Unlike what AI stated, Cale really doesn't compare himself to others all that much – at least not directly.

Cale is not the type to say, "I am a much worse person than Choi Han." Cale is the type to say, "My past is nothing interesting to talk about, really. Now Choi Han, he's such an admirable guy. He managed to stay a good guy despite all the hardships he suffered through. Might have been that good family influence he got in his childhood." Now, unless we know the information that Cale is ommitting here ��� the abuse at the hands of his uncle and a terrible childhood overall – we wouldn't know that by all this, Cale is actually saying "Choi Han is a better person than me, might have been because he was raised right and I wasn't." Thing is, I don't believe even Cale himself realizes that's what he's doing. He would probably deny it, if someone tried to confront him about him.

It is true, however, that Cale often insults himself, while praising others at the same time, in quite the hypocritical fashion. If Cale saves someone, he's doing it "because of self-serving reasons". If someone else saves someone, in his eyes, they're a good person. You can clearly see the pattern here.

However, the "embracing learning" comes in where Cale starts raising children, and they pick up his mannerisms and behaviour. Most of the time, Cale stays completely oblivious to his own influence. "Where did they learn that?" he asks, hilariously, while it's extremely obvious to the readers exactly where they learned it: YOU, CALE!!!

But Cale learns. He watches his children grow, he watches his allies grow, and he feels proud. He's accepting his role in their life as someone they deeply care about. Someone they wish to protect. He starts avoiding injuries for their sake. And sure, he still has those dumb moments of "Well I didn't even cough blood this time, do I really deserves this reward?", it doesn't change the fact that he's getting better at this. At being appreciated. …Worshipped? Heck no, he'll run as fast as he can in the opposite way. Appreciated by his family? He's getting better. Where he used to deny the kids head pats in the beginning, now he pets them all the time. He eats Raon's apple pie not just out of hunger, but because it's from his son, and it makes him feel better because of the connection. Slowly, he's leaving self-deprecation behind and embrances his family. It's incredibly heartwarming and sweet to watch 💖

Downplaying His Achievements vs Recognizing His Achievements

Yet another snail-paced progress we can observe, but it does exist nonetheless. Cale downplays his achievements mostly as a self-defense machenism. Taking that much responsibility on himself is SCARY. He said so himself right at the start of the novel: "Kim Rok Soo knew that the responsiblity for the lives of people is a very scary thing". …Funny how he keeps taking the initiative then, isn't it?? But despite all his denial, Cale isn't stupid. He knows exactly how much his actions changed the world; the scale of it is frightening. Nevertheless, he dismisses it all for the sake of his dream – becoming a slacker. He does not want the fame of a hero who saved everyone. He wants to rest!!! But, yet again, his family enters the picture here. Cale doesn't need to be the hero for them to love him. They are grateful for all he has done for them, but it's not a fanatical worship; it's love, thankfulness, appreciation. By the end of Part 1, Cale admits to Alberu and Eruhaben's faces that "he finally starts considering his own life a bit precious". That is a very big moment! It might seem like the lightest of concessions, but it's a huge step for someone like Cale!! See, he's growing!!! 👏

Fear of Being Unmasked vs Practicing Self-Compassion

Best example I can think of is when Cale's identity as Kim Rok Soo is revealed to Choi Han, and later on Raon and even Alberu. Cale did fear his identity being exposed, and for a good reason. You'd think that Choi Han being Korean himself would make things easier – but actually, it would only make things harder. Choi Han doesn't come from the same Korea as Kim Rok Soo. A lot has changed since he was on Earth. Cale revealing the monster apocalypse would involve a lot of vunerability. He also valued Choi Han's good opinion greaty, I think. Cale read the story of him and concluded that Choi Han was a "good guy". He respects him. No matter what he claims, Cale doesn't want Choi Han to think badly of him. In the Indignity Test, there was a moment where Cale reflected how much he did not want to get by the younger Choi Han or Raon – not because of the physical pain, but because of the emotional pain involved. He would feel incredibly shamed if Choi Han or Raon hated him. Because he cares about them both. So. Much.

And then, there's the Alberu reveal. It's surprisingly sincere. Alberu offers Cale the chance to explain himself, and promises to listen to everything without judgement. Cale is visibly shaken by the promise, but he believes him. It was such a precious scene!! That's where the self-compassion comes in. Cale is learning to be a bit kinder on himself than in the past. He's starting to trust his allies with vulnerability. When Cale uses Instant, he tells Raon how he's someone who can never forget and asks him to "not be like him". Because Cale's life is full of sacrifice and suffering, and he doesn't WANT others to be like him. But after that incident, he promises Raon to avoid hurting himself as much as possible when he captures the White Star with Embrace. His self-care is directly linked to his compassion towards his family, but it's there! It exists! Way to go, Cale!! 👏 (…Just don't stab yourself again, lol. I get that it was special circumstances, but still.)

Reluctance to Seek Help vs Seeking Support

Cale is such a paradox in this aspect. On one hand, he's a strategist – asking for help is his JOB. He wouldn't be able to achieve all he has if he never requested help. He asks people to do tasks for him all the time. On the other hand… whenever things go wrong, he's the one to handle the repercussions. Cale is the one to make the sacrifice whenever something unexpected happens.

For Cale, this is such a delicate balance. He wants to make sure everyone is always safe. He never allows them to face mortal danger without making a plan to let them all survive it. The time in the Empire, when the White Star used the Sky Attribute for the first time, Cale yells at everyone to run while he himself rushes towards danger. While it's very hypocritical, it's directily linked to his sense of responsibility for others. On the other hand, once everyone refuses to leave, we can see how excellent their teamwork is. And who taught them that?? Cale, of course!

It isn't that Cale doesn't ask for help. It's that whenever the scales tip and his group is in danger, he will do anything to light up their weight by taking it on his own shoulders. And like I said – it's an extremely delicate balance to walk. Like spider silk thin rope. One wrong step, and Cale could fall. Still… I think Cale is gaining experience in this as well, and so are his allies. They get stronger, and they understand Cale better. They're able to handle dangers without him being involved. It's a positive direction to grow for all of them, even if Cale is constantly unlucky enough to get himself into trouble like this… over and over and over 😅

Setting Unrealistic Standards vs Realistic Goals

Cale has one of the most simple, yet the most unrealistic dream ever imaginable. "To be a slacker". Which, if taken literally, would be the easiest thing. Just sit around, enjoy your wealth and do no work. Simple, right?

…Except, Cale's version of "slacker life" involves making sure the ENTIRE FREAKING UNIVERSE IS AT PEACE. 🤣🤣🤣 "So that no one bothers him or his family." That's… a bit difficult, isn't it??

So, Cale's dream is completely unrealistic, yet with the speed he's going at it, he might actually achieve it. Way to go, you madlad. Respect!!

However, with the help of Lee Soo Hyuk, aka. Sui Khan, Cale has another goal. Which is much more down-to-earth. Creating a farm in the Forest of Darkness. And tending to it with his family. That's… such a sweet ambition. I really hope they can make it. No – I'm sure they will, eventually. One of the "glimpses of the future" we got in the story was the fact that On and Hong's red mist would sometimes linger around the Forest of Darkness, as a sign of the Molan family's legacy. So the kittens will definitely live there in the future, and naturally, so will Cale. Personally, I can't wait 😁

…So yeah, that's all I got to say about Cale's Impostor Syndrome. Got any more thoughts on it? Let me know!

[fossilizedhysterics]

angel Ɛ✦3

[geodebiome]

i think hannibal lecter's (tv show version) relationship with god is so cool to think about. love this fucked up little cannibal and how he keeps challenging god to show his face for once. will you speak to me if i turn this man into a cherry blossom tree?

[ferahntics]

Giratina rant

So replaying Platinum and I picked up Legends: Arceus again, and I am in the mood to blabble about Giratina for a bit.

Spoiler warning for those who haven’t played Legends: Arceus - highly recommend it if you want more insight into Sinnoh’s lore. (I’d suggest playing DPPt first to get a feel for Gen 4, Arceus is much more enjoyable if you can pick up on the references!) Or just - spoilers for gen 4 all around, the movies, the games, you name it KJSHG

And this got dangerously long, and will most likely not make any sense skjgh get your tinfoil hats on.

So, the biggest thing about it, is that it was banished for its violence, right. So, it outright states it’s got a very destructive nature. I mean, in PLA it flat-out tore a rift in space-time to strike down Arceus, making some form of pact with Volo during the process, and it didn’t hold back in its fight against the player, either. It being violent is not a secret.

But then I think of the events of Platinum - when it interfered with Cyrus, and more specifically Cynthia’s text in Masters - where she believes Giratina to be a kind soul. Not to mention Laventon’s theory after you catch Giratina, where he states it was no match for the player - and chose to defend the world afterwards, rather than continue to destroy it.

And that makes me think - why would a creature that people see it as the definition of darkness and malice - do acts that are the opposite? Quite a few of these are in the Pokemon movies where it appears - when it helped Ash battle Zero, and help him escape the Reverse World. Or earlier in the movie, where it allowed Pikachu to sit on its horns (crown??) and even Shaymin, who was mortally scared of Giratina, grew fond of it. Not to mention it was surrounded by many Pokemon during the movie - this makes me think that, not only did they know how important Giratina’s duty is in the other world, but they feel okay enough to approach the bloody thing. If this legendary creature really was as violent as researchers describe it - or myths - then I doubt those Pokemon would be willing to step close at all.

Now, does this exactly redeem any past violent actions? Honestly I’d argue no, the damage was done - time doesn’t heal everything, and I imagine after the stories of Giratina being passed down for generations, Giratina might as well be a symbol of destruction, and few people might be willing to see its good sides. (Its certainly got the right appearance of a demon alright, the Asmodeus of Pokemon LOL)

I think its more a case of. Its heart is in the right place, but the way Giratina goes about it is where it gets conflicting. So, I imagine, in general its got a dangerously short fuse - that much was established in the dex entries. But I kind of imagine it to have a very black and white way of thinking. So, instead of seeing things that have both good and bad things - it views them as ‘you’re not a threat’ or ‘you are a minimal threat - but still a threat, and I’m not taking any chances with you’ and more often than not resorts to violent actions.

Heck, in the Sky Warrior movie, Giratina was pretty aggressive with Shaymin, even though it meant no harm and just wanted to break Dialga’s timeloop - it certainly went about it the violent way and tried to trigger it through fear.

You could argue Cyrus’ fate was a merciful one. Forever trapped in a universe with no other living being aside from him and its deity. No real sound, no sunlight, no... nothing. Like being trapped in a completely hollow terrain. His life was spared, but then the idea of being stuck in a completely different world that’s so huge, yet to hollow, is haunting to think about.

Would I call Giratina evil - definitely not. Its not a pure creature either, not by a long-shot. Its very heavily flawed and chaos follows it everywhere, it might as well be the embodiment of it. But after the events of PLA, we see it show many generous acts - if we take the movie (Giratina and the Sky Warrior) - it was very violent starting off, but after Shaymin healed it, and Ash fought alongside it - it stuck with it. It doesn’t forget kind actions. And it remembered that in the Arceus and the Jewel of Life movie, where it finally dropped its grudge with Dialga.

I think its a deity with a very rigid line of thinking, either you’re a threat or you’re not. It’s fully capable of forgiving (Dialga and Palkia after the Rise of Darkrai movie) even when it was hell-bent on fighting them, Dialga especially.

This entire post is me really stretching things like this is Mr Fantastic from the fantastic four, but - listen. I like to imagine Giratina to be a very complicated deity to understand. I don’t think it’s the pure manifestation of evil with no redeeming qualities, but I don’t think it’s a flawless, pure being either. It’s in that chaotic center - so really - I think Giratina, after PLA, does have good intentions, and does want to defend the world - but the way it goes about it is morally questionable, because, as we all know, it is violent by nature.

Now, put on a second tinfoil hat on top of the first one.

And that is what most likely earned its banishment - and that’s what might have caused it to become increasingly violent. Anger is an emotion that often comes out to defend you when you feel like you’re faced with injustice and don’t deserve this. Whatever it was, Giratina might’ve thought the destruction it caused at some point was justified or the lesser evil, done for the greater good.

Arceus didn’t see the devastation as justified at all, and thus banished one of the members of the creation trio. And Giratina became furious - because it thought it did good - it went to drastic lengths to do good. And is now being punished for what it thought was an act of sacrifice to protect the world. (what exactly this ‘destruction event’ was, idk, but if it deserves banishment it had to be nasty - you have pokemon that dissolve others with acid and drink their juices or kidnap children and those weren’t banished JKSHGD) 

So this form of ‘injustice’ from Giratina’s POV, might’ve caused it to become vengeful, and increasingly more violent - and this might’ve been what led to its pact with Volo to destroy Arceus, and cause the events of PLA. Giratina, at the time, didn’t think it deserved this punishment. Perhaps only after the player in PLA defeated it, both at the Temple of Sinnoh and in Turnback Cave - it might’ve started considering that perhaps - perhaps - it was a suitable punishment after all.

And perhaps, after... maybe decades - centuries, even - of fury, grief, hatred and isolation, it did in fact, earn the title of ‘renegade’ and it was better off in its own universe - only allowed to interact with the real world under very specific circumstances. (Mostly when some form of ‘glitch’ happens between dimensions, either because of Cyrus, or Volo).

It’s a very chaotic being, both in terms of its actions and in terms of understanding it, and Giratina is aware of it - and I imagine it often struggles to understand itself.

[bleue-flora]

fuck cwilbur hes the reason for majority of cdream being screwed over

I’m not sure I’d say majority, for a few reasons. For starters a lot of things go wrong with Dream, after Wilbur’s death. So ya his influence is left and the country he started and the idea that Dream is a tyrant has spread like wildfire, but while those are huge pieces I’m not sure Wilbur himself can take the majority of the blame here. Prison destroyed Dream and Wilbur wasn’t even around for that. Again, I’d like to point out too that the disc wars happened before Wilbur and on Dream’s discussion with Tommy in the finale he talks specifically about the start of those wars not Wilbur and L’manberg. The fact that Dream did so much spiraling when Wilbur is gone just makes me think that he was a piece, a big piece but not a majority. How can he be when he was missing for so much of Dream’s downfall. Wilbur may be gasoline thrown onto the fire, but I don’t think he started it. His words and manipulation would not have worked if Tommy’s hate and fear of Dream didn’t already exist, if people didn’t already kinda dislike and mistrust him.

Sure Wilbur took his image, but Tommy took his attachments, the revival book took his morality, Sapnap and George took his heart, Tubbo took his life, Sam took his humanity, Quackity took his physical prowess, Pandora’s Vault took his hope, leaving him with nothing but broken pieces of longing, fear, pain, his hell in box and Punz.

Wilbur is but a part of the puzzle, an important part, perhaps the border, but to blame the majority of Dream’s downfall on Wilbur I think is giving him more credit that he deserves…

[sonknuxadow]

just got a blazed sonadow post on my dash that was actually such a jumpscare

[kirbyswarpstar]

thinking about them again...

[purgemarchlockdown]

The temptation to vague about something in the milgram-confessions blog because its something thats bothered me for Actual Years about certain fandoms vs letting it go because when it is brought up its actually done somewhat tastefully and reasonably which makes me happy and this anon probably didnt mean it in the incredibly bad faith way I keep on seeing it be repeated so really Im getting upset over nothing.

[lightbulb-warning]

this is getting ridiculous there's so much stuff i wanna draw i need to clone myself immediately

[hide-your-bugs-away]

i had a dream last night that there was an alternate cut of the NME Poll Winner's Concert (1965) that captured different angles of the bands performing and the Animals' portion of the show was an unchanging, straightforward shot of the whole band and i could see each and every moment Alan looked up at Eric (no jump cuts required) 😔🙏

[danielnelsen]

anyway ive combed through all the ability trees now so i will take some time to think about it all and report back with my thoughts at some point. no idea when

[the-witchs-cafe]

Submissions are open!! Submissions are open, everyone!!