#there ARE ways to make it interesting and keep it relevant
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an angels guide: january media recommendations
hey angels, here are my favourite media pieces for what can feel like the rainiest, dreariest month (sorry january…). in order to cheer myself up and beat the end of winter blues here are some of my most beloved pieces of media!
books
my year of rest and relaxation, ottessa moshfegh - for those days when you also feel the desire to sleep for as long as you can.
murder on the orient express, agatha christie - i love a cozy wintery murder mystery!! especially by agatha.
before the coffee gets cold, toshikazu kawaguchi - i read this when im craving connection (and also a good cup of coffee).
small things like these, claire keegan- beautiful religious imagery, gorgeous setting full of intriguing characters. historically relevant.
poems
sonnet 97: how like a winter hath my absence been, shakespeare - i love the sonnet form and this poem encapsulates that winter feeling for me, the fertility and feminine images are so so interesting.
the snow fairy, claude mckay - may be my favourite poem that ive found this year! definitely going to check out some more of her work.
white eyes, mary oliver - nature and mary oliver go together like a cute mug and hot chocolate, total perfection!
dust of snow, robert frost - short and sweet, gives me winter chills!!
films
the holdovers - christmas film maybe, but still relevant and lovely for miserable januaries!
the lion, the witch and the wardrobe - one of my childhood favourites, this film is so cozy and comforting, just what is tvneeded.
notting hill - unrealistic and silly? 100% but it’s still so funny and cute, helps me stay optimistic and hopeful in the winter.
the shining - some days i go a little stir crazy and need some old horror to snap me out of it!
albums
diamonds & rust, joan baez - this album is so beautiful and a fairly new discovery for me, im still letting it sink in. my favourites probably blue sky!
blue, joni mitchell - my perfect winter album. listen to river. always makes me cry.
bury me at make out creek, mitski - some days you just have to sink into those winter blues. i love the last words of a shooting star.
evermore, taylor swift - an underrated taylor album! my go to from november till at least march. marjorie is hitting so hard right now and im not fully sure why!
we’ve made it this far through winter angels! we can make it a little further. stay cozy, safe and most importantly keep romanticising your days in even the little ways.
love, m.
#girlblogging#girlhood#becoming that girl#just girly things#it girl#glow up#it girl energy#that girl#clean girl#pink pilates princess#hello january#january#mixed media
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12 or 35 for the Rook story time prompts!
Thanks so much for this! Gonna go with 12: Rook making a new friend. In my head, this takes place after The Smuggled Relic Case and before Sea of Blood. If anyone else wants to send me asks, the post is here! And if you’re interested in reading more about my Rook, that’s here!
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Neve comes to her room a little after they've returned from Minrathous, once she's sent Teia a letter and is anxiously awaiting a reply. "Everything alright in here?"
Violetta looks up from the knife she's sharpening. "Perfectly fine. And you?"
"Me? No issues here. Just figured I'd check in. The Treviso return seems to have you on edge."
Oh, right. Most people don't habitually sharpen knives. It probably looks like she's plotting someone's imminent murder. "This is just how I pass the time," she clarifies.
"That tracks." Neve steps inside, false leg clinking against the stone floor. "But even so, you've been away from home for six months. Anyone else would be overjoyed to return, and do it as soon as possible. You decided we'd start with Minrathous, a city you clearly despise. I'm wondering why."
Violetta puts down her knife and whetstone, looking up at the ceiling, trying to find the best ways to phrase it as Neve sits down on the couch next to her. "I didn't exactly leave on the best of terms," she settles on. "I don't care to discuss it further."
"Understood," Neve says.
That's not the answer Violetta had been expecting. She'd been anticipating further prying, more than anything. "The detective is just leaving it at that?"
A shrug. "I'm a detective, not a busybody. I don't see why I would need to know the details of your departure from Treviso. If it becomes relevant, will you tell me?"
"I will." It likely won't become relevant, but if it does, it wouldn't do to leave Neve in the dark.
"Well, that settles it, then." Neve smiles. "Until that happens, you can keep your secrets, Vi. Can I call you Vi?"
That's not a nickname she's ever really had. The existence of Viago made that a fairly impractical option, so once she got old enough that people bothered to remember her name, it was always Violetta, the whole name.
She likes the sound of Vi, though. It sounds casual, affectionate, caring. Coming out of Neve's mouth, it sounds right.
"Feel free to."
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#datv#dav#rook#rook de riva#ask meme#oc ask game#rook ask game#violetta de riva#neve gallus
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The thing I have wondered since Sinsmas is how is that Blitzø seems to have an ability to unconsciously create fire? Why there were so many shots in Sinsmas about Blitzø doing that? Or the thing about him going to work because he is afraid of burning the house?
Is red fire, not the green one, does it mean anything ?
For example Asmodeus can produce blue fire, Octavia purple fire, and Blitzø red fire related to wrath.
He is shown to be very good at cooking and taking care of everything, but at the same time, he has the risk of suddenly put things on fire?
I think that they might have hidden abilities… but those abilities were silenced somehow for someone in hell to take care of the basic things they do: make the food, service to other hellborns in general, etc…
Also, hellhounds are relevant in this debate, because we see how they are not as prevented to be powerfull, but still, a lot of them are almost sold like pets or slaves.
They are also in the bottom of Hell’s hierarchy and then having powers and being kinda stronger doesn’t prevent hell from exploiting them. At the same time, they are the ones that are more coerced and violated, even more than imps, because they were used for services that demanded them to be strong (being guards of Hell).
So, Idk, I think it would be kinda interesting to see if imps that are born from wrath and are trained to be fighters are the ones that are kept with less powers, somehow, to prevent them from being a menace. They keep a culture when they expressing violence towards each other is accepted (sometimes in a joyful way or to bond), so they don’t direct that towards others that are also stronger than them anyways?
If they find a way to reach those powers and start a rebellion? I don’t know if this is the way that will happen; but still is an interesting possibility. If they start a rebellion as they are rn I think they would need to use another strategy and not just plain combat.
Also, I don’t think that imp’s abilities necessarily need to be for them to transform in an epic gigantic dragon or something like that. It could be just them having the same characteristics but them able to reach some sort of power up. So, they would be like the same, just stronger and less vulnerable to damage.
I refuse to believe that imps don't have magical ability
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Picky but.. when watching a docco/docco style video, while it can be interesting to hear about how you ended up in contact with certain relevant people, or how there were plans to contact people that fell through, or that you couldn't get in contact with them... I hate when the filmmaker harps on and on about their 'investigative' process and try to dramatise it.
Sorry but. I don't really want a 15-20+ min detour of you lamenting over trying to get in contact with certain people when all that's happened is you sent an email and didn't get a reply.
#not gonna single out any particular vid but I'm reminded as I watch a docco style vid on YouTube about niche/lost anime#and i hate it every time. it's a self insertion of the filmmaker trying to make their efforts shown or signalling for attention and shit#and i get it!! there's a lot that goes unappreciated and unnoticed when you're making videos and such#but if you're presenting your videos in a documentary style that's one thing.. calling yourself a documentarian is another#it's amateurish and uninteresting!!! it's a complete detour and distraction when you're talking about yourself in this way#like.. sigh. nuance. i know I've personally enjoyed some doccos/docco style where we hear about the process as they present it#there ARE ways to make it interesting and keep it relevant#but when you're essentially whining that all your cursory Google searches and 'deep dives' into people's LinkedIn's and IMDb pages#isn't yeilding the response you want... SHUT UP PLEEEAAAASSSSEEEE#this is the kind of detail that makes it look amateurish (imo) and is probably making it harder for you to get in contact lol#ANYONE can go looking through a person's online presence. ANYONE can find an email or a phone number and try to get in contact#your whole thing as a docco maker is to do that work and curate it in an interesting and informative way so i don't have to lollll#like i know I'm being picky. there's plenty of awesome videos on YouTube made by YouTubers who have put effort in#but there's such a difference between the standard of professionalism and ethics when you're doing it on YouTube#it's not the only thing that frustrates me BUT it's one of the key things i notice that's indicative of the docco not being of quality#for what i want to view it for#it's especially frustrating to me when the topic is genuinely interesting and i want to see how you present it to me but you're wasting time#when you go on and on about yourself!!#there was one yt docco covering an artist and their body of work that i thought was interesting! but#they were already getting on my nerves even tho i stuck it out for a few hours... AND THEN THEY JUST TALKED ABOUT THEMSELVES#FOR LIKE HALF AN HOUR AND I COULDN'T TAKE IT. I DON'T WANNA HEAR YOU COMPARE YOUR AMATEURISH SHIT TO THIS ARTIST#save it for the back end or an after credits or in some section that's for people who want to hear about you#don't grind the pacing of the docco to a halt cause you're desperate for attention and recognition. you're ruining the docco lol#also yes I'm aware that this is harsh coming from someone who's not even made a docco of any sorts but#if i do get into making it i expect this kind of feedback if i go awry and these are the standards I'll be holding myself to#WHERE ARE THE STANDARDS IN THE YT DOCCO SCENE!? there are a few great creators but there's so much shit#to me i think it overall grates cause like. it's not always being made with the intent to share.. it's made to get clout#and that's a philosophy i just disagree with#anyway wherever. pretentious film bro rant quota filled. i dont wanna hear about how 'difficult' it was waiting for an email that never came#rads talks
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ngl I might get crucified for this but I think the dunmeshi yuri/yaoi discourse was stupid and misrepresenting the ao3 factoids. as of today the most written for mlm ship is labru with 69 (nice) and the next most popular has less then half that at 31. meanwhile farcille has 125 out of the 154 F/F ships in the tag. it is by FAR the most popular ship, with the next two most written about sapphic ships being marcille/izutsumi (9) and kiki/namari (4) and also a couple of x readers? so farcille dominates by far
it seems to me that what's going on is that several mlm ships are in rotation in terms of popularity whereas farcille dominates as the singularly popular wlw ship.
and this doesnt mean that the issues people were bringing up about the general lack of sapphic content and the way fandom treats female characters aren't valid, but idk man when farcille fanart is cropping up daily and getting thousands of notes and has about twice more the amount of fics that the most popular mlm ship on ao3 has its like. I dont think this is really a fandom that proves that point.
I would like to see some more variation in smaller wlw pairs to make up the difference though! I dont think I see any tade/izutsumi fics and we need to change that they could be so cute.
#keeping this bit in a tags bc its a bit spicier but even without farcille actually being by far the most written about ship I dont think#dunmeshi is the best work to make this argument with bc while its got great female characters the main cast is still 3/4 and then 3/5 male#characters when izutsumi comes and she's not very shippable on account of being 17. I wouldn't sit there scratching my head as to why peopl#are writing about the multiple very relevant male characters as if its some mystery. and again farcille is still by far the no 1 ship rn#I hope that more people getting into the manga will lead to greater spreads of interest in the various minor characters bc there are many#very cool ones esp the [REDACTED BIRD NAME] are very prime for cooking up yuri. I just wanna gather up people who are passionate about#sapphic works and talk about ideas and spread the creativity and discussion I want there to be more wlw stuff and I think the only way that#gonna happen is by spreading that passion and love and encouraging other sapphic creators and enjoyers#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon
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fundamentally disinterested in the recurring discourse about kevin's drinking that aims to a) make it his Specific Problem To Focus On And Overcome when it is a crutch and coping mechanism to get him through a Much Bigger Problem (emotional fallout he can't square with by himself, culture shock, trauma, loss of his extremely wildly co-dependent relationship w riko, losing the structure of the nest, mourning a future he was meant to have, processing a grave injustice, anger and fear and desperate grief, all of which is his Actual Specific Fox Problem) while he builds himself back up, and b) thinks that even if it is a problem (more on that later), it's the foxes' problem to deal with.
like. it's just not.
yeah, he doesn't drink until he meets them. they gave him that habit, and in traditional terms, they're (the monsters specifically) a 'bad influence'. but these are the foxes. this is kevin day, son of exy, whose meteor is crashing spectacularly through no fault of his own. there are no traditional terms to be found here. the framework for it literally doesn't exist. neil comes into the foxes with more conventional expectations—appalled at the athletes' substance use, his horror at matt's trip to columbia, his steadfast and early repeated stance that none of the foxes should let andrew treat them the way he does, and certainly not nicky—and tends to engage with them less as the series goes on and he folds himself into the foxes. the thing about the foxes is that they've all been in pits deeper than they are tall. and some of them got a helping hand on the way—erik, andrew's extreme intervention methods, stephanie walker—and wymack was always waiting for them on the other side, ready to throw down a rope, but all the foxes dragged themselves out of their own holes. often not alone, often not without assistance, but at the end of the day, they have to do it.
there's that line neil has about aaron in that scene that got deleted when the timeline shifted around, when he thinks about how aaron got this far in life on his own, surviving on willpower and sheer desperation. that applies to aaron in a way that's a little more acute than some of the rest of them—boy who doesn't let the foxes in bc of andrew, boy who doesn't let nicky in bc he doesn't know how, boy made of flinching and seeking an escape and grieving the one who hurt him—but is broadly true for the foxes en masse.
this isn't to say the foxes can't help each other, but it's not their job. it just isn't. they'll keep kevin alive, keep him safe, keep him flanked and contained within their ranks. they'll fight tooth and nail in this battle with him, fight to get him to that championship game, fight to get that trophy in his hands. but that's all they've agreed to. that's all they're responsible for, in this covenant they've made with him. he says they can make this happen, and they're going to get him to that final game, but it's up to him what state he's in when he gets there.
like. they're foxes. they've been triaging their whole lives. they hate each other and they hate everyone else more. they're the kids with their backs up against the wall. half of them are addicts. i don't think kevin is comparable, personally; he's getting through a horrific situation with a coping mechanism. that's not the same thing as battling yourself to stop using. but that's not really the point of this. what i'm getting at here is that to the foxes, it's easy math: kevin who can lean on vodka and andrew and wymack and the foxes to stay upright when he's not ready to stand on his own two feet is still a kevin who is standing. a kevin with one less piece of scaffolding to lean on is a kevin who falls over, a kevin at risk of complete collapse, a kevin one phone call away from running back to the master, a kevin one crucial loss away from not ever making it back to himself at all. they're triaging. this is low on the totem pole of things they have the room to care about. they very much have bigger problems, both individually and even just kevin-related. if alcohol makes seeing the boy he knew best in the world and moved in tandem with his whole life and who destroyed their entire legacy and his entire life in one move — if alcohol makes facing that boy easier to stomach, then, fuck, why would they take that away? they're foxes. they've all got their demons. this is what kevin needs this year and a half to let him face his, that's all. they can understand that. it doesn't have to be pretty, as long as it keeps him in the fight. that's the priority.
i think there's absolutely space to explore this in fic and art and fandom in a way that maybe does explore it as a Problem, both that it's an active problem for kevin & that it's something to explore other foxes helping him with (there's a t&n fic that i've been gnawing at the bit to read for months that seems poised to explore this premise, and that's super up my alley)! i just think we're in different territory when we're talking about the series—and its characters and dynamics—in a conversational rather than transformational way, and end up talking about this like the foxes are responsible for kevin's choices. i love kevin day. i read these back at the start of 2015 & he's so dear to me that loving him was the blueprint for how i feel abt kageyama. but it's been pretty weird to see how the conversation has been translating Loving Kevin Day into... thinking the foxes are doing wrong by him with respect to this in actual canon. like that's just not how it operates there
#kevin day#aftg#aftg is a sports anime story that's mostly about survival. it's no surprise they're all aiming to Get Through This Year‚ first and foremost#personally i don't think kevin is an alcoholic. that's a specific term that means something that i don't think means kevin.#i understand why people apply it to him with the way it's used colloquially a lot but like. that doesn't make it true#but i'm also not particularly interested in hashing that out and litigating it#i've seen people with more specific and relevant Personal experience than me try that and it fell on deaf ears#so i don't particularly care to waste my breath there. that's not the main point of this anyway#i am saying that i don't think kevin's drinking is the Capital P Problem but mostly i'm saying even if it is. that's not the foxes' issue#like in the most basic truth sense. it just isn't. you can wish they did or think friends should or whatever but like.#you have to remember who they are. they're not the trojans. they're not the gangsey. they're foxes.#they wanted to mutiny against kevin within twelve hours of him opening his mouth but they still voted to keep him. ykwim.#they're not here to hold his hand but they will keep him intact.#like. they're gonna get him to the championship game. he promises them that and they promise in turn to show up and get there.#but they're only in charge of making it there. it's entirely up to him what state he's in when he gets there.#this isn't to say that they wouldn't care; it's that the foxes have been triaging their entire fucking lives.#kevin with alcohol in his hand is a kevin who can stand up on the court and face riko instead of giving up. it's a shield.#absolutely there's an argument that it's not healthy but like. Cs get degrees. if this gets him through‚ then it gets him through.#alcohol tw#alcoholism ment //#substance abuse ment //
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#if Jack/Franco swap happens (it will it’s only a matter of when)#I think teams are really about to shoot themselves in the foot with all this business#because to a point you’ve had the ‘it’s cutthroat sport’ people winning who is loudest war#but idk I think thr tide is turning already and I think sentiment on this is going to change#and it’s possible people get fed up#and you can’t keep relying on the in house F1 PR machine (Netflix) to dramatize it in such a way that adds to the lore and unhinged nature#of the sport#we’ve been through this now many time … and now far to many in the last handful of years#idk I think it’s going to hit a breaking point#I just think there’s something interesting in the shift to fan service in so many of these teams#and how much that engagement is relied upon for relevance for teams and the sport as a whole#and in this era of formula 1 those lines blurring a bit more make this kind of stuff less and less palatable
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Regarding your cerebrocrustacean headcanons mentioned in the previous ask: they very well could be somewhat canon given how, when asked if Albedo and Dr. Psychobos would be willing to work together, Derrick J. Wyatt responded with "Psychobos seems like a total team up slut, he'll team up with any villain any time" (his words, not mine).
Which he likely meant in the sense of "Psychobos is so power-hungry he'll team up with anyone in order to get ahead", but with your headcanons and the fact he never talks much about his personal life in mind, you could alternatively interpret it as "Psychobos is so desperately lonely he'll accept anyone he has even the slightest similarity with into his clique, even members of a species he's violently xenophobic towards" (probably to cope with/serve as a rebound for his mancrush Azmuth friendzoning him /lh /hj).
Now all of this is making me realize that it was a massive missed opportunity in Omniverse to not have Psychobos' demeanor do a complete 180 around the people he works with compared to everyone else (whether sincere or a thinly-veiled manipulation tactic) if not solely for a few jokes. Especially him acting like an affectionate father figure towards Malware (whether he likes it or not) solely so he can rub it in Azmuth's face that "I'm a FAR more attentive and caring parental figure towards your creation than YOU ever were, and I use the term loosely".
WHAT DO YOU MEAN DJW SAID 'TEAM UP SLUT' HAHAH WHAT!? dear god it's true it's on the wiki what the fuck what the fuck assdfjhghsdlfkgfkl-!
I mean, look at his already canon group; Khyber, allegedly the greatest huntsman in the galaxy, teaming up with Dr Psychobos to make a little watch that can sample (specifically predatory) animals; and Malware, a technology absorbing mutant mechamorph, working with the cybernetically enhanced (also listed as a mutant???) cerebrocrustacean in order to make said watch- if liking the concept of animals and incorporating machines as part of oneself is enough to get into Dr Psychobos' clique well, he's certainly stretched what that means far enough to at least snag two others into his initial team up. Same can't be said for Attea and the incurseans which seems to be more of a sponsor type relationship, and Maltruant commissioned him to repair his body but violated the trade agreement so whether or not Psychobos would do business with the incurseans again, he's already squarely sequestered Maltruant in the outest of out-groups :P
Hah, the 'Dr Psychobos adopting Malware specifically to stick it to Azmuth' bit reminded me of a signing-the-adoption-papers version of the 'I throw my used car batteries in the ocean' thing- something along the lines of; [psychobos voice] "You are the most calamitous individual I have had the pleasure of meeting, and I use the term loosely." [malware voice, threateningly] "I have devoured and absorbed the specs of the Omnitrix." [psychobos signing adoption papers] [malware, experiencing the affects of cerebrocrustacean in-grouping and having no frame of reference on how to deal with it] "What the fuck is happening-"
#ask#anonymous#dr psychobos#malware#malware ben 10#cerebrocrustacean#khyber is mentioned technically but like he's just there for clique demonstration#ben 10#heartbreaking: the worst person you know included you in his in-group and loves and respects you just because you shared one interest#i will draw this it's a visceral image it's just that it's not now because i am exhausted :P#does psychobos having an in-group suddenly make him a good person- no#does psychobos having an in-group that does not care about what species is in it make him a good person- also no#he's a jerk which severe xenophobia and like the encephalonus IV equivalent of like- sigmund freud#but also not freud because freud is a fraud that only became the father of psychology because psychologists around the world disavowed him#but like- an infamous figure which controversial opinions but ultimately- being so well known he is the face of the collective#that collective being cerebrocrustaceans as a whole because god damn it why did dr psychobos have to go for ben 10? for fucking azmuth!?#even assholes have in-groups it's kinda how assholes spread (well they can spread in other ways but that's not relevant to the current topi#i would be nice though if the allegedly greatest huntsman and the chronically unloved mutant experienced cerebrocrustacean in-group respect#khyber would be off-put as a solo one-man show (well there's also zed but he doesn't even gender her right let alone treat her well)#malware would be so inexperienced with interactions even slightly positive he'd kinda mostly be too stunned to do anything but stand silent#dr psychobos as per usual talks and talks as if bouncing back against a wall (because really he might as well be)#but so long as his treatment towards his in-group keeps them around longer (with the bonus of not getting stabbed in the back hopefully)#then far be it from he to complain whenever his fellows come back with their parts of his little pet project
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Regarding the whole "Fandom Is An Escape, so why should I have to care this much about misogyny/racism/ableism/transphobia/etc." thing. Idk about the rest of you, but it gets kind of hard for me to "escape" when I keep seeing people say the same vile things about characters who share aspects of my identity that I hear all the time in real life.
#gotta say: it doesn't make me feel any better getting ignored/disparaged on account of my gender irl and then seeing every fictional woman#also get ignored/disparaged when there is no material difference between her and popular male characters other than her gender#how do I escape from irl misogyny if y'all keep willfully ignoring and flinging gendered insults at 99% (<-lowball estimate) of#female characters? how do I put aside the ableism I face in real life when y'all discuss disabled/mentally ill characters in the most#absolutely out-of-pocket way? how do I forget about biphobia when the 'arguments' you make 'for fun' about bisexual characters#in fiction sound EXACTLY the same as the things people say about my bisexuality outside of the internet/fan culture?#and then obviously this gets compounded if you are trying to even simply EXIST in fandom as a poc or a trans person or an intersection of#any or all these varying identities/life experiences#like yes caring about fictional characters is not the same as caring about real people OBVIOUSLY I can't BELIEVE I have to keep clarifying#that. and at the same time!! because multiple things can be true at the same time!!!! engaging in behavior that enforces pre-ingrained#societal biases and prejudices!!!!!!!! does not help dismantle those biases and prejudices!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in a real-world way that DOES#involve caring about actual people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it's also. interesting. when people go on & on about how some newest show about thin cis white (male) gays is So Important & Revolutionary#So We Must Do Everything To Keep It Relevant And Visible and then act this way about women/poc/trans people/disabled people/fat people#in media. so like. you DO agree that seeing a variety of life experiences represented in fiction is beneficial. you DO believe in the#value of depicting marginalized people. interesting that that only seems to apply to a VERY narrow and specific category of marginalization#(ugh remember when I talked about this and someone called me a straight person good times)
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I really wish that the final boss of twewy neo was Kubo himself, not the bird noise. The bird was cool, but I feel like there is definitely an issue with power balancing here. If they had just had Kubo be the final boss, we would have an idea of what a more average angels (albeit downtuned) power level is. Plus it would show that you can actually defeat an angel, even if it is a team effort (with some of the strongest players around). How is someone supposed to kill a composer if you can't even defeat an angel of a lower rank? Did Joshua (if he was even born human) catch the previous composer by surprise or kill them in a game similar to what Neku went through? I do wanna see it happen in a future game, if/when that happens.
I'm just tired of seeing angels having such a huge power gap from reapers and players. Especially when they have enough power to just fix the whole plot of the game whenever they want, but choose not to do so (looking at you, Joshua).
#twewy neo#twewy neo spoilers#i like haz more as a character than kubo but I just dont really care about him. at least kubo was plot relevant#only showed up for a short section and in the secret reports#if I had it my way I would combine the two characters#make kubos personality a little more interesting and less annoying#have the phoenix be his noise form while still keeping him the executor not the composer#his noise plot fails so he absorbs them all or whatever after being weakened heavily by the souls fighting back#neo has too many characters i just dont care as much im sorry#anyway im really passionate about this
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once again stressed as hell because i have the opportunity to apply for a job and i feel like i HAVE to take it despite the fact that i really dont want it and also feel like it wouldnt necessarily even be the best move in terms of career… but like. Fatal American Desire To Seize Every Financial Opportunity At The Expense Of My Own Well-being.
#i know i dont want to be a public librarian. if i work in public libraries long term i want to work behind the scenes in some way#it makes so much more sense for me to keep my little no-hours minimum wage job for now and look for something ACTUALLY relevant to my career#interests either an internship or job or something#ugh. i am so susceptible to anxiety over feeling like im missing an oportunity#even when its not something i actually want#i have done all the thinking and rationalizing and it makes so much more sense to focus on school and figure out where i actually want to be#in the LIS world and make those connections than to get a more stressful job in part of it that isnt in the career path i actually want to#go down anyways. and even if i change my mind and DO want to go into public libraries eventually this opportunity will be back soon enough#they hire for this position at least once a year#ecdysing
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the amount of time I spend on tumblr dot com has given me quite the set of standards when it comes to artworks on the theme of 'Trans Angel', and actual museums are failing to meet those standards quite spectacularly.
#news from the cupola#if you don't want to hear a lot of inane whining stop reading this post Here.#today once again I saw this particular sculpture entitled exactly that. it is the most unpleasant thing I have ever beheld.#it is relevant that it is a sculpture about the transamerica pyramid and not about Transgender things. but I do keep forgetting that.#so many errors were made in the construction of this fucking thing. I have seen it maybe thrice at this point and it has not grown on me#in the slightest. and I know that the conversation about Good Art and what makes Good Art is certainly fraught.#but by my lights whatever this is this isn't good art#maybe it's partially that this thing is displayed among some really wild examples of Just What Can Be Done With Clay#it's surrounded by hundreds of years' worth of technical mastery and it fails to be anything of note except bad to see!#clunky sculpting! ugly glazing! forms that are difficult to parse but also not very interesting once you do see them!#and why in the goddamn does it have the twitter logo sculpted all over it. what is Happening.#everything else by this artist in this exhibit is also not great in similar ways?#it's not even bad in a way that's interesting! it's just. not good!#it all feels like they're trying far too hard to make Art That Means Something and missing by a mile#also. no one calls the transamerica pyramid that. You Say The Whole Name. or you just point at it and say 'that one'
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was going through my blog trying to track down an old post i made talking abt my feelings on jolene and it was. much longer than i remembered it being. and haha yeah i still agree with it. i need to fucking. sort out my feelings on that character and that subplot
#like. its just been A Thing where once i thought abt it too hard it was just Wow i hate this actually#its not entirely like a visceral discomfort but its a sort of like. its unpleasant to think abt this for too long#like??? the easiest way for me to explain it is that normally its fine like ok a pursuer antagonist character to add lil backstory#but the moment you toss in the implication that she still has romantic feelings for him it jumps up to WOW THIS IS UNCOMFORTABLE#for me. for me. like just all of it? and some fan stuff that influenced it like. bad jokes and uncomfy phrasing that leans to linebeck bein#like an unwilling participant or ‘giving in’ like fan stuff also REALLY hasnt helped so i just. yknow avoid it#salty talks#might delete later but i didnt delete the og so whatever#like she is absolutely just. badly written. shes a joke and poorly written and its just. there and there are implications#it does just come down to. shes badly written and the way linebeck reacts to all of it doesnt help#like when i worry abt like. coming off as sexist. its like nah shes just fucking badly written#casca is a similar kind of character as someone aggressive to her love interest and lashing out at him despite having feelings#but shes like. well written. and guts reciprocates. and you like. see them communicate and grow closer#here youre just given a disastrous fucking aftermath where communication is completely broken down#and while the aggressive party still has feelings the other party actively wants to just not engage with it and actively doesnt care#cuz like. he literally does not bring her up or allude to her outside of her being immediately relevant i cannt see him being interested#GOD. i just need to write all this out i keep justifying myself with it i need to. get it out#im narrowing down. something. for how i think their backstory together goes with it being a lot of miscommunication and it just being like#a bad situation anyways with their last actual encounter being a violent one and its like yeah no that was a trainwreck#i know its a fucking like. comedic(????) subplot in a lighthearted childrens game#but it has Vibes to me and that game does have some darker vibes to it we all know that#and it just. i dont like her. i dont. i remember i used to be like. alright with her. and then i thought on it too much#casca addendum ig. shes objectively not like. well well written. but all things considered. shes pretty good#like im p sure she was made to suffer to make guts feel bad but. she does happen to be a kickass character in the midst of that
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I’m going to sound like a filthy british bastard by saying this but one of the things I think turns me away from this heavily fandomized tumblrification of the american revolution is genuinely the lack of british perspectives. I obviously don’t fault tumblr for this being the case (it goes without saying that it is a far deeper issue than just that… cough cough american nationalism and exceptionalism and the effect that has on the media) but in spaces like this there really just isn’t… any nuance at all to this conflict which was so undeniably nuanced in so many ways. it’s all about gay founding fathers and cool spies which. I understand the appeal but at a certain point I’m genuinely not sure how much of it we can call history
#one of the reasons I don’t have qualms with amrev reenactment is because it was almost entirely a political conflict#you can make arguments for both sides#which is part of why I reenact british#but beyond my general interest in british military history that I don’t see here#amrev tumblr is just a standing testament to the way historical media has been americanized#I don’t particularly associate myself with either side of the war because of this nuance#I don’t feel like any of us are really in a relevant position#but it’s much deeper than ‘british bad america freedom’ etc etc#either way#daily reminder that i am a redcoat bastard#if only because it represents another perspective on this deeply nuanced period of history#there is way more to talk about here but I can’t keep doing it in the tags#amrev#I feel like I’m just the daily killjoy in the amrev tag sorry lmao#historyposting#this is your captain speaking#historyroasting#awi
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okokokok you know what. the lesbian label fits me best specifically because i hate romance & falling in love i think all that shit's stupid. The only thing thats worth it in life is having a tension filled two-little-girls-on-the-playground-pretending-to-be-horses level intensity friendship where basically no words or outside concepts exist beside the deep fascination and kinship you have with another human being & its a friendship to the outside world but on the inside its an unspeakable understanding of self & other with no limits or boundaries as to the aspects that are concealed and revealed and the kind of intimacy that is possible & the only rule is having fun and keeping up the synchronicity thats vibrating between your two spirits. Sorry if that makes me sound like a cringe hippe but genuinely people who are like i wanna fall in looooove im like your desires are lame & small and i pity you. Romance-love is inferior to playground bff friendship-love in every way but we live in a society that does everything to hide this fact from people....why.....
#& i don't mean a sexless friendship i really mean all types of intimacy are possible. but they're not EXPECTED theres no script#sex happens if it feels relevant & interesting but otherwise why would it#& this kind of thing genuinely does go beyond gender its just that men are usually incapable of letting this happen#its what i have with my gf by the way we're best frieeends but also i want to know a lot of people this way#except almost no one gets it...its my burden in this life to try to make people understand#when you turn an intense friendship into a romantic rship you lose something invaluable and then its gone forever#not because you've added sex into it cause you can in fact do that. its just people don't know how. its a careful & difficult process#you have to remain present & not lose yourself in a movie script that tells you what to do & how to be. instead you have to keep being#yourself & only doing things that arise naturally. people have no trouble doing it until they get self conscious & then its impossible#do you see my life burden
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Issue 69 (nice) is very good and very fun :]
#ramblings#idw sonic spoilers#i knew the phantom rider was gonna be sonic#didn't expect sonic tails and amy to be disqualified first tho#but it makes things more interesting#having to work with eggman to get sonic back in the race in some way#and figure out what's going on behind the scenes#i like it! i like how they're handling this sort of non-mystery#where the readers know what's going on but the characters don't#so we get a cool spectacle out of them figuring it out while racing and stuff#also ppl are already arguing abt lanolin being kind of a bitch#as if that wasn't an already established character flaw lmao#i think her not caring so much abt the ppl around her (or at least not showing it) makes her more interesting to read abt#and i like the drama#now this isn't related to the issue itself but now i kinda don't know how i'm gonna tackle this arc in my rp blog#i think i'm gonna wait until all the issues are out so there's not a month's wait for events that happen in the span of a few days#but like. idk if i wanna have livewire actually participating or just watching#also i can feel myself losing steam running the blog again#like it's stopped getting any attention and the same thing that happened before is happening again#so like. idk if i should keep going with it at all?#idk idk anyways that's not relevant to the issue. it was good i liked it and can't wait to see where the arc goes 👍
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