#therapy through words

[escaped-goat]

To the odd spirits who visit my blog, leave kind messages, or wander through like ghosts in the marsh:

Finding passions in life is hard and can even feel daunting or hopeless. But everyone has that hidden spark of flame that finds their heels someday.

When you want to look for the spark that keeps your spirit, that one bit of light that makes you come alive, look backward. Because you will never find the marks you make in the future; it hasn't happened yet.

Look at all of the doors you've opened, the windows you've passed, the hands you've shaken- what color comes away? What gift stains your fingers, coming away from your body like a poorly-contained painter's heart? Because I guarantee you when you look back, it will be entirely too obvious.

And I hope that when you find it, when you see it, you smile. You smile and you shake your head and you mumble, "Of course."

I wish that. I yearn for that. For everyone on this strange little rock spaceship we call home.

[howtomakeyousee]

[chaosgremlim]

I’ll be completely honestly. I will judge you based on how you view Lottie Mathews. If you watch Yellowjackets and go calling her “psycho” “crazy” and judge her abhorent and manipulative for literally just having symptoms of her psychosis while UNMEDICATED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING WILDERNESS, I won’t trust you for shit.

[socksracoon10]

look i am not a lando norris fan at all but for the lando fans pls have SOME decorum we're all stressed about the race coming up, we all have our favorite drivers that we want to win I get it, this is a crucial part of the race. At least on my views, i don't want Lando to crash or DNF like yeah it would help max but i wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy so at the same time stop wishing it for max, dont wish that for any driver imo because that's childish and rude on top of all this, lemme clarify max will NOT try to crash into lando on purpose (ive been seeing posts like that)... i fear people keep forgetting that max has matured a lot more than people give him credit for. He raced clean in Brazil, the worst he's done as of late was his classic pushing them off track limits move but any other driver would do the exact same thing at the moment in order to secure their championship. at the end of the day, it's so funny how a number of people that the drivers have never met will go on long rants to tear down another driver. I have my thoughts about lando, I get mad too and I say stuff not ONLINE where others can read. i think we all need to calm down keep our thoughts in our head and if your argument is "b-b-but other people are - but other people are doing it they're saying mean stuff!" THEN BE THE BETTER PERSON??? dont stoop to their level thats all i wanna say at the end of the day youre not their parents, youre not their gf/bf, youre not even an acquaintance... you are a person on tumblr... that they don't know... dont defend them to death, dont whine about them to death just watch the damn race, pray your driver does well and if they say or do something wrong accept that they did something wrong and move on with your life thats literally it ok im done ranting lol (i mightve gone crazy in the tags lol)

[grimreaperofroleplay]

I don't know about you but my bingo card for S3 of maws is just gonna be full of Clark suffering through the after affects of the black mercy shit because God let us see this boy vulnerable and in need of a therapy session, that's the least he deserves after the shit pack the writers put him through, It's also because I want to PHYSICALLY see this 6 something ft man BREAK INTO SOBS AFTER UNABLE TO SAVE SOMEONE BECAUSE GOD I NEED THAT, I NEED TO HIM NOT ABLE TO SAVE SOMEONE BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T WANT TO BE SAVED I WANT HIM TO SHATTER I WANT HIM TO CRY AND BREAK!! I WANT HIM TO SUFFER I WANT TO SEE HIM IN SUCH A FRAGILE STATE THAT SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A MISUNDERSTOOD WORD GETS TO HIM. I WANT HIM BROKEN.

Anyways

Thank you for coming to my pep talk^^

[bg-sparrow]

mcfly july 2024 || 🌲🌲 || day 24 Out in the Desert

Emmett wants to get better. 

Therapy helps. Medication helps more. But he’s not there yet.

He has no energy for sports. He refused insulin and electroshock.

But he’ll try the saxophone.

Trouble is, Emmett can barely hold a saxophone, let alone play one.

But he wants to get better.

He’s too embarrassed to play in his apartment; he left his window open the first night.

So, Emmett went out to the desert so no one could accuse him of strangling a dead goose.

“Hot Cross Buns?”

Emmett spins. “Dr. Oppenheimer.”

“You take requests?”

“If the request is ‘stop’, then yes.”

[onethousand825days]

hot chocolate and hotdogs please fix me

[socdfoe]

i couldn't choose which version is better🥀🥀🥀

[howtomakeyousee]

There was a light coming from the very bones of you, not of this world, but of the cosmos itself.

[liftingtheirspirits]

I often wish it wasn’t this way.

I wish at the bottom of the ache and torment there was a cloth hiding what’s left of the love that I once had.

It seems the deeper I go, the darker and more entangled the roots of my hatred and sadness.

Truly, deeply, I think those that are not like us can’t fathom the feeling of despair - when the fist falls and destroys the last bit of hope you held for safe keeping.

Often I find myself wondering if I’ll ever forgive my abuser, even now as I write.

A subtle expulsion of air leaves my lungs as a tear streams down my cheek and I think to myself -

No, I don’t think I will.

[floralcavern]

I realized that bottling up my emotions ain’t good for my mental health so I started keeping a journal and oh my gosh, no wonder journaling is recommended by therapists. This is fucking AWESOME.

[katetorias]

don’t think it should be a crazy take to understand that by definition systems are a collection of dissociated self states found in people with complex dissociative disorders (DID, OSDD, UDD, etc). that’s what the word system means in this context, and is the definition used in books and scientific literature about systems.

complex dissociative disorders are seen by years of research and testimony to be caused by childhood trauma. systems are a symptom of CDDs, meaning systems are caused by childhood trauma. a system is just one of the symptoms of having a complex dissociative disorder, and things like CPTSD, amnesia, dissociation, depersonalization/derealization, depression/suicidal tendencies are also symptoms.

systems are a symptom of a disorder that is caused by repeated childhood trauma. it’s a life saving defense mechanism our brains had to create to protect ourselves from the trauma. the brain dissociates to keep us from experiencing the traumatic events directly. that is why systems exist. that’s it.

it’s not an identity it’s just a symptom of a disorder. if that’s not what you’re experiencing then system just isn’t the right term

[fleshdyk3]

i wish so badly i could be one of those people that wear a billion gaudy rings all the time. however i bear the curse

[sadieshavingsex]

hi everyone. I think I have figured out the “real problem” in my life. I am really starting to understand myself, I think, in a new way. I understand how my entire concept of life fits well into the ideas of borderline personality disorder, codependency, fearful or anxious attachment, boundary issues, and more.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot this morning. Here is what I think is the root problem: i am literally, no hyperbole at all, clinically debilitated by my all-encompassing obsession with love.

What I mean by this is that I am so obsessed with finding a partner, attaching to a partner, stressing about a partner, discarding a partner, and starting the cycle over again that I feel I need some kind of clinical treatment, whether it’s inpatient our outpatient, whether it’s therapy or meds, or I need to join some kind of group like SLAA, whatever I can do to stop this uncontrollable issue that I have accidentally allowed to control my life for years.

I cannot stress enough that I am literally unable to experience life without these obsessions, and I see very little point in living without or outside of this cycle of romantic attachment. The advice to find a new hobby, see my friends more often, or take some time to relax by myself will never be enough—despite hanging out with people or working on a project, I will mentally be in a different place, wondering about my partner/crush or worrying about our relationship. The times are very few and far between when I am genuinely able to forget or not focus on this near-constant train of thought, and it usually happens when I am very busy or have a lot going on in some way. Even when I achieve this state, the moment that I am back to “normal” life with less demands or less concerted focus, the thoughts rush in again. And, much of the time when I am having these continuing obsessive thoughts, I genuinely believe that these thoughts are the most important thing I can focus on in my life, so I will sometimes have difficulty focusing on other stuff, participating in activities with others, or getting things done without these thoughts constantly playing in my mind.

I mean this in the most serious way possible. I am LITERALLY OBSESSED with romance and objects of affection. It sounds like I’m overexaggerating and I think that when I have become vaguely aware of this issue in the past and tried to tell people about it, it has generally been met with the assertion that I MUST be overexaggerating this in some way. And, if I’m not, then it is honestly something that seems super embarrassing to admit or talk about. But the truth is that I feel like I can’t overstate or overexaggerate the impact that this has on my life. I feel like it takes up every moment of my free time and then some, and it has ever since I was a child.

I know this issue essentially fits into all of these diagnoses and issues I’ve been experiencing and reading about, but I somehow feel that it transcends them as well. Like, THIS is the thing that makes normal aspects of life debilitating. THIS is the reason I let my boundaries fall by the wayside so easily. THIS is the reason I repeatedly find myself in situations that make no sense with what I’m actually trying to achieve. THIS is the problem. This singleminded uncontrollable OBSESSION with loving and being loved is INSANE. It is driving me actually nuts and running my life into the ground. It needs to be dealt with and it honestly cannot go on!!!!!!!!

Anyway. I feel encouraged by realizing that but I have no clue how to actually fix it. Thank you very much for reading lol.

[howtomakeyousee]