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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 2 years ago

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Is It Really That Bad?

I feel this film needs absolutely no introduction.

Look, I get it. You’ve seen everyone and their mother talk trash about this movie since it dropped in 1999. You’ve seen every single show in the universe take cracks at this film, you’ve seen all the parodies and mockery of it in movies, you may have even seen that movie Fanboys. Maybe you’ve even watched some massive YouTube review of the movie. The point is, this movie has been done to death.

But this series is about covering poorly received and infamous movies to see if their reputation is deserved, and I’d be remiss to ignore this film. And hey, these days the film has gotten something of a reappraisal by younger generations and older fans alike! After 20 years of scorn, a combination of the poorly received episodes VIII and IX, other works like The Clone Wars building off of and fleshing out the themes, Lego making really fun levels based off this movie for its Star Wars games, and Weird Al dropping one of the best songs of his career based entirely around recapping this film, a lot of people have come around to saying they unironically like this film. Even as early as 2008, the film made it on to Empire magazine’s list of the 500 greatest films of all time, scoring higher than Tim Burton’s Batman, Unbreakable, Full Metal Jacket, Halloween, The Crow, and Enter The Dragon (not by a huge margin though since it only got to 449). So there’s something there to love, right?

Well, let’s find out as I ask the question everyone else has already asked a million times before: Is The Phantom Menace really that bad?

THE GOOD

Let’s get the obvious stuff out of the way: The action and John Williams’ score.

The prequel trilogy really shines in how absolutely bonkers it makes lightsaber battles. Sure, one could argue the original trilogy made them more realistic, like actual swordfights… But I don’t want realism in this series about magical alien samurai monks using telekinesis and fighting armies of clones and robots. I want to see someone do a million backflips and then slice a dude in half with their laser sword. This film delivers heartily on that front, especially in the epic final duel between Maul, Qui-Gon, and Obi-Wan.

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Speaking of which, Darth Maul is a highlight of this film despite barely doing or saying anything. A lot of it is his striking visual design, which is actually toned down from the original concepts. It makes him look cool, creepy, and mysterious, always a good look for any Star Wars character. Ray Park doesn’t get to show off Maul’s dialogue much, but he certainly shows off his battle prowess with a bunch of sick flips and the iconic dual-bladed lightsaber. This appearance here served as an excellent foundation for the guy, because The Clone Wars would take him from an iconic but underutilized character to perhaps one of the greatest villains in the series.

And then the score. Oh lord, the score! Has Williams ever missed, even once? This movie has some really fantastic music, stuff like the celebration music at the end of the film, but it’s quite obvious that the standout is “Duel of the Fates,” one of the best pieces of music in any Star Wars film.

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A lot of the characters introduced here are pretty fun and great additions to the universe. Natalie Portman is actually pretty solid as Padme; Liam Neeson’s Qui-Gon is just such an aggro dick it’s hard not to love him and his underhanded ways; Boss Nass is an amusing yet underutilized gungan played by BRIAN BLESSED of all people, once more adding his trademark ham to a campy sci-fi movie inspired by Flash Gordon; Mace Windu drops in for a brief appearance to set him up for better ones down the road; and that Chancellor Palpatine guy is really cool, I hope we get to see more of him!

Then we have the pod race which, while a bit overly long, is a lot of fun and features some crazy vehicular madness, and there’s the practical effects, the creative design of the aliens and monsters, and there’s the practical effects and costumes mixed together with the CGI.... When this movie is fun, it’s a lot of fun, and when this movie is putting in the effort by god is it putting in the effort.

Oh yeah, and E.T.’s species has a cameo. No wonder he seemed to recognize Yoda in his movie.

THE BAD

Have you guys ever wanted a cool laser sword sci-fi epic to be constantly interrupted by long, boring scenes of trade negotiations, council meetings, and bureaucracy? Well boy oh boy will you love this film! There are so many stupid, dull, tedious scenes where characters are just talking about this boring trade embargo plotline, one that can’t even be ignored because it’s driving the whole plot. And sure, it leads to some really cool action scenes, but you’ve gotta sit through boring galactic council political bullshit to get to them.

This film is also the one that establishes the Jedi as a bunch of out of touch assholes. Every scene with the Jedi council (and especially if you have to look at the weird ugly Yoda puppet this film gave us before it was mercifully replaced with CGI) has the Jedi acting as a bunch of obstructive assholes who seem to go out of their way to be dicks to a literal child. Add onto this that this film reveals the Jedi essentially train kids to be child soldiers, yeah, no, maybe these guys did deserve Order 66 after all.

There is the writing, but it’s really not too strange for Star Wars to have clunky writing. The issue here is said writing is in service to really banal plots, and when the movie is getting good dialogue is usually not the thing making the scenes good. These things here may not seem like a lot when it comes to problems especially when I was praising this film so much, but the few problems are spread far and wide across this two hour movie.

THE UGLY

As you may have noticed, I didn’t mention two of the film’s most hated aspects above: Jar Jar and Anakin. There is a good reason for that.

Literally every mean thing you can imagine has already been lobbed at Ahmed Best and Jake Lloyd, and quite frankly I’m not keen on contributing to that. Anything negative I could say has already been said, and at this point it doesn’t even matter. Jake Lloyd was bullied over his performance to the point where he hated the franchise for years, and Ahmed Best nearly killed himself over the sheer blistering hatred Jar Jar received. Do I think Jar Jar is funny? Do I think Lloyd was a good actor? Does it even fucking matter at all when people harassed them to such lengths that it traumatized them?

I’ll be honest: I’m not a huge fan of Jar Jar’s antics. But they really aren’t the worst thing in this movie, and he’s not even remotely the most annoying Star Wars character. We now have people like Hux, the Knights of Ren, Snoke, Clone Palpatine, Holdo… The sequel trilogy was a buffet of characters that are infinitely worse than Jar Jar. And as is often the case, The Clone Wars went a long way towards making him a good character.

As for Lloyd, he was an actual fucking child. He was being directed by an absolute dork who wrote the goofiest dialogue imaginable for him, was there ever even a chance? A “bad” child performance is never the fault of a child, I feel; it’s the fault of a director who doesn’t bother to guide them. I’m a George Lucas apologist most of the time, but he absolutely let Lloyd down here.

Oh, and I guess I should address the other element in the room: Watto.

This guy has often come under fire as a huge negative Jewish caricature. I… don’t necessarily see it. Upon rewatching I was expecting something on the lines of the goblins in Harry Potter, but I don’t know. I think a lot of it comes from mishearing his accent; if you listen to it, he actually has some sort of weird, vague Italian accent as opposed to that stereotypical old Jewish man voice. I guess if anything, Watto is a negative stereotype of Italians, though he is far less of a hate crime than casting Chris Pratt as Mario.

...Okay, and one more thing: Midichlorians. People have this weird idea that they cause the force. The movie literally states their presence is just an indication of a proclivity towards the force. It’s basically the Star Wars version of Pokerus. This was such a stupid thing for people to get mad about, but 90% of the hate for this film is just getting mad at stupid things anyway.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

The answer to this question was always going to be pretty obvious: No. Absolutely not. The sheer vitriolic backlash to this film was built off the bizarre emotional attachment adults in the 90s had to a campy sci-fi series from the 70s and 80s; the toxicity of the fandom meant there was never any doubt that upon revisiting this film I’d find the hatred overblown. And really, we’ve had over twenty years of other Star Wars stories now, a lot of them building off the foundation this laid to give us great stories in their own rights. As I mentioned above, Darth Maul, this film’s awesome yet underutilized villain, has gone on to become one of the franchise’s most iconic characters thanks to The Clone Wars. There are great ideas here in this film, but it took other people to polish them and make them shine.

The real question is, even if the backlash is overblown… is the film actually good at all? And that’s a complicated question. This film has a lot of serious, glaring flaws, but at its heart it’s still the fun, campy sci-fi series we all know and love. When this film gets good, it gets really good, but when it’s bad it’s downright boring and even a little cringey. But being a bit cringey is just an important building block of Star Wars, so in my eyes, it gets a pass in that regard.

For my part, I like it. It is far, far away from my favorite Star Wars film, but I like it more than two of the sequel trilogy at least. I think whether anyone else likes it really boils down to how much corny, campy dialogue and boring bureaucratic drama one is able to tolerate. Regardless, I think that 6.5 is a perfect score for this film. It definitely reflects the mellowing public opinion towards it, and shows that it’s not really that bad after all. It’s just not exactly great, either.

But hey… This song more than justifies this movie existing:

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If nothing else, you can watch this instead of the movie for your Machete Order marathon and all you’ll miss is some great action and music mixed into boring bureaucracy. Whether that’s worth it or not is up to you!

#Is it really that bad #IIRTB #review #movie review #Star Wars #The Phantom Menace #George Lucas #Sci-fi #Disney

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neon-lights-stardust-nights · 2 years ago

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5am asks (for batman?) ⏰ ⛪ ❤️ 🌧️? -@wegotaselfshipperere

So, turns out I'm sleepy and overheated and a little woozy because I'm probably sick? Whoopsy. At least it's probably just the same 24 hour virus my husband had. So, thank you everyone sending these: I need low effort entertainment.

Also ah--I don't think I ever gave that QPR ship a tag... Which is silly of me... That or you meant F/Os from batman in general. There's like four emojis there so I am going to divy this up into all four of those because there ARE four including Bruce! Genius.

I'm so sorry if this makes no sense, I am ill.

[meme]

⏰ Somehow, through magic, time travel, worm holes, or maybe just as a non cannon idea, you meet your F/O when they were a little kid. 8-12 ish range. What are they like? How do you interact with them? + Riddler

Honestly, the best part of this prompt is just that Kronos could unironically meet baby Edward if fae ever managed to take faers technology further.

Edward, like most Batman characters, had an… Interesting childhood. I always imagine he was a really quiet kid, swallowing loud and dramatic behavior for his own survival. So it'd be a really stark contrast to see him making himself small. It'd probably remind Kronos a lot of faerself.

I imagine fae would just try to give him a good day to remember in the future (even if that might be weird since they're also on again/off again dating. Not in a bad way, they just keep forgetting to actually make it official, and then Strange happened, and he's not keen on sharing, and--) Take him out for ice cream or something else. Kronos isn't exactly good with kids, but fae would try.

He'd probably start infodumping about stuff he likes, and even if it's the most boring shit on Earth to faer: fae is at least going to pretend to listen. Eddie needs this. Kronos isn't going to make faerself yet another adult who persecuted him over this shit.

Maybe fae'd give him a little pocket watch "to remember me by." It has single charges of faers temporary time stopping. What fucked timeline splits off this decision will go unknown to the Kronos returning to the universe fae came from, but needless to say: there is a Riddler who was inspired by that mysterious man with the pocket watch and goatee…

⛪ Is your F/O particularly religious? If so, which group and how dedicated are they? + Scarecrow

Crane isn't RELIGIOUS persay. I like Crane's who grew up religious, who knew the fear of god before they knew the fear they loved to inflict. I think even as a kid though, he didn't internalize all of it. Some of it stuck around in adulthood though, the parts he did actually buy into.

It mostly results in him being superstitious. The specific flavor of religion was Catholic. He's not a "masturbating makes you go blind," Catholic, but he is a "gets 666 coincidentally on something and immediately tries to get out of whatever it was for" kind of superstitious.

I don't have a lot to say about this one, despite my reblogging blasphemy and priest kink shit earlier. I have religious trauma and fetishes, not like. Religion www.

❤ What type of relationship do you and your F/O have? Are you prank buddies? An old married couple? What is your self ship dynamic? + Strange

Once they're properly established and used to each other? It honestly feels like they both have each other on leashes, to be honest. I think from the outside it just looks like Strange is reeling in Kronos. In actuality, fae is also reeling him in too.

Kronos is a little, overconfident gremlin of a man. Strange would lobotomize someone for sillies if left alone. He's just way fucking smarter about it. Kronos is a jealous patient though, which is usually the reeling in part. "What do you MEAN you aren't committing attrocious experiments on me specifically?"

Kronos does need to be reeled in too though. Fae would be recklessly villainous if not for Strange. I mean like Powerpuff Girls level nonsense. Kronos is gonna get faerself tossed in Arkham, and while Strange wouldn't be 100% against the control over faer that would give him, he doesn't want to make an enemy of himself in faers eyes on accident! So he basically works as faers villain manager.

So yeah, they are like. Two over excited cats on leashes, but they're holding the leashes.

🌧 Not everything is perfect… So one day everything just seems to go wrong. Nothing is working out like you thought it would and people are rude. You come home angry and tired and however else a bad day makes you feel. How would your F/O comfort you, or make your day a little brighter? + Bruce

Honestly? If fae had a terrible no-good day? It'd be very easy to just lavish faer in luxuries.

Kronos is a buyable man, but also a cheap man. Bruce is aware of this. The rich playboy thing comes in handy taking faer out on the town too! Oh? Everything is going wrong? Well there's some gormet burger place down in west Gotham!

Though again: Kronos is a cheap man. Bruce probably wouldn't be caught dead in a McDonalds otherwise, but fae wanted it. It's all food and bathbombs, forcing in him with faer. It's a kind of control over the day he can extend without furthering any anxiety fae may be suffering from. Kronos hates being asked "what do you want" when fae's anxious and awful--the anxiety just gives faer a freeze response. So he takes the lead of "let's get food" and waits for faer to go "burgers? Burgers please?"

It's a little bit of baby steps, but he's alright with doing it. If a day was that awful, there's no need to make it worse.

#asks #wegotaselfshipperere #okay I guess he needs a tag now ummmm #fear and love #tangled web #riddle me this #I cannot think of a clever batman tag my head is full of fog #timeless bats #THERE!

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outoftheframework · 4 years ago

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my proposal for tropes we as a fandom should adopt in all fanworks going forward: Duke Thomas edition

So every fandom has tropes and characterization quirks that have been generally accepted into fanon and, like, maybe? they were originally based on some obscure comic panel from the 80s or something but it doesn’t really matter because we’re all just,,, cool with it? Like for example- in the dc comics fandom, an art piece could show 3 of the bats that look virtually identical except one of them is holding a box of cereal so that one is obviously Dick Grayson. . . Y’know?

Anyway, these things usually come up naturally I guess but I’ve been here a while and it’s finally time to put my foot down. It’s high time for Duke Thomas to be more in fanon than “the sane one.” Because he might be the relatively new guy but he is certainly fears no gods or laws of the land just as much as the other bats, lemme tell ya.

TL;DR here are character quirks (”canon-based” or otherwise) that we should all really latch onto seriously I’m begging y’all to make at least one of these happen-

Duke “Habitually Jumping Out of Moving Vehicles” Thomas

This one’s actually based in canon y’all; Duke did indeed yeet himself out of the back of a cop car and off of a bridge (in We Are... Robin). Normalize Duke’s wearing knee and elbow pads as Signal because jumping out of a car turns out relatively fine once and then suddenly Batman’s rooftop disappearing act seems mellow compared to the amount of times Gordon has whipped his head around to see a now Signal-less backseat.

Like, he’s going 60 mph?? And he didn’t even hear the door open?? and tHE DOORS ARE STILL LOCKED??

Imagine this leaking into civilian life and Bruce waking up to a blurry photo of Duke mid-escape from a limousine on the front page of the Gotham Gazette.

(more under cut)

Duke “Puzzles are my Passion” Thomas

Duke is ~canonically~ very skilled at both solving and concocting riddles (as a child during that time where The Riddler just,,, controlled Gotham, he worked non-stop on riddles, trying to make the perfect one). Please y’all- let Duke solve puzzles. Have the other bats ask him for help after 36 hours straight of brooding over some brainteaser that Duke works out within the half-hour. He texts a picture of the solution scribbled out on loose leaf in the margins of his pre-calc homework because this boy shows his work.

My guy is a word-cross FIEND. A mind-sweeper speed-runner. That guy who mails into the Gazette to correct a solution in the “fun & games” section and also ps that photo is not of me I am simply a polite young man who is much too busy writing into the paper in the year 2021 to jump out of limos-

I also would love to see this integrated into the type of cases he investigates / runs into on his daytime patrol. Like, obviously the criminal activity is going to dramatically differ before and after sundown, but that doesn’t make Duke’s work any easier or less important. It’s a different skillset; he has to work differently. Instead of jumping into fights, halting mob meetings, saving civilians in dark allies, etc. Duke has to sort through all of the moving pieces before they all converge into something catastrophic.

It’s a known fact that criminal organizations in Gotham make and execute a lot of behind-the-scenes plans during the day specifically not to run into the bats. And Duke knows and monitors this shit all by himself; his work is crucial to logistics and information gathering for the bats as a whole. Now criminals have like, a 2 hour gap between bat-shifts to try and get stuff done. But Duke would 100% set traps on timers or lead them on this pre-set convoluted goose chase to distract them until the night bats come out and to let himself enjoy the whole thing playing out on the news while he finishes homework that’s due at midnight.

Duke “I Know a Guy” Thomas

So in going off of the basic concept for the “We Are. . . Robin” run in combination to his general likability, Duke has a lot of friends all around Gotham. Okay, sure, he doesn’t have a Super best friend or a Speedster on speed dial, but he does know this guy who details cars up on West 35th and will tell them all about the new mods on Black Mask’s transport vans if they come through the third floor window and bring takeout.

Bruce and Tim will be waiting for the facial recognition software to identify at least a partial match off of security cam footage when Duke pulls into the cave, takes one look at the screen, and says “Oh, that’s <insert name, address, abridged life story, and known associates here>.” This also brings in the opportunity for Duke to have some sort of perfect recall for faces, voices, names, etc. which I think could be a really cool element for his position as the batfamily member who has a lot more personal interaction with the people of Gotham.

I’m also into the idea of a lot of people knowing/telling stories about Duke. Not to reference the Chuck Norris meme but almost like the Chuck Norris meme lmao. Think about Jason mentioning his brother to someone and she replies, “Duke Thomas? Like that Duke Thomas? The one who swam across the harbor because he said it’d be faster than the subway and it actually was?” These stories have varying levels of truth to them but Duke will never confirm nor deny when he gets random calls from family members yelling “you dID WHAT”

So those are my top three, and the following is a little speed-round of headcanons :)

Duke has a super expressive face. Like when he’s relaxed around family, you can tell exactly what he’s thinking and how he’s feeling by his visual reactions to things

Duke rotates through picking up new and revisiting old hobbies at a pretty rapid pace. Some hobbies include: bullet journaling, origami, viola, cello, synth, conversational basics in multiple languages, up-cycling and embroidering clothes

Duke has a really fucking adorable smile. He can’t help it. He’ll try to grin sarcastically or smug to be annoying but his smile just cannot be anything other than endearing. He also has a very specific booming laugh that’s an absolute treasure to hear, because it’s the most genuinely happy thing ever.

Duke unironically enjoys Signal by Twice even though the first time he heard it was after Steph had set it as his morning alarm.

So.

Come and get your food, I guess.

Feel free to add on if you’d like! I’d love to see anything you guys write/draw/etc. based on anything from here if you feel compelled to do so!

Stay safe and be well :)

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chocolateteapotsvis · 3 years ago

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Why I Love Tales of the Dark Multiverse: Dark Nights Metal

After a discussion with @finalfrontierpioneer about old posts about skeleton!Barry and floating hand!Hal, it came to my attention that the original one buried how much I unironically love Tales of the Dark Multiverse: Dark Nights Metal. So I’m here now, over a year after the comic came out, to correct that oversight and share one of my points of pure joy in 2021.

So, whether you've only ever seen a couple of panels or are well aware of the weirdness of this comic, here’s 2.5k words and a bunch of pictures on the journey, WTFery, and heart that is Tales of the Dark Multiverse: Dark Nights Metal.

This is going to discuss a lot of what went on in Tales of the Dark Multiverse: Dark Nights Metal, so spoilers for pretty much everything in that comic. Other spoilers from Infinite Crisis, Flashpoint, their Dark Multiverse counterparts, and from Dark Knights Metal. Content warning for discussions of major character death. It wouldn't be a Dark Multiverse Tale without offing most of the characters.

We’re also about to get a little salty with the context, so hold on tight.

I’m going to start this off by admitting that I wasn't having much fun with the Dark Multiverse stuff. If you're not familiar, the basic concept is that in the Dark Multiverse the heroes don't dramatically show up to save the day and instead, things take a dark turn. In practice, it was a bunch of single issue stories showing how various big DC events went differently in the Dark Multiverse. I love seeing familiar stories reimagined, so I was totally on board.

Now, I didn’t read all of them (I’m not strong enough for that), but of those I did read, “dark” pretty much meant a version where the bad guy won. Full stop. Oh, hey, in this world Blue Beetle shot Maxwell Lord, turned evil, and then just won Infinite Crisis. Oh look, Barry fried himself trying to get his powers back in Flashpoint, and then the Reverse Flash just made his own evil Justice League. So I go into a story hoping to see Thawne struggle with his identity now that the guy he’s built his entire life around is dead, and instead he doesn’t care and gets what might be the happiest ending he could hope for.

I know. Most of that’s on me for expecting something like that. I had the exact same problem with the Marvel What Ifs years ago. It’s why I write fanfiction. Whatever.

And credit where it's due, the Blackest Night one was pretty fun.

But then, like the mythical Ouroboros, the event devoured its own tail in Tales of the Dark Multiverse: Dark Nights Metal.

What happened in Dark Nights Metal? IDFK. I know it started all the Dark Multiverse silliness, and has something to do with a Darkseid baby?

Luckily this comic gives you just enough so that you don’t need to FK either. Basically, the heroes make some snazzy armor to go fight some invading evil god, but instead of protecting them, it corrupts them. Batman turns into the bad guy’s horcrux or whatever so he can take over. They turn the world into hellscape.

Now, this story doesn’t bother showing us any of that, which personally I think is one of its greatest strengths. Instead of spending precious page time showing the audience how we got here, it starts here. The bad stuff already happened. We’re at the end. We get enough hints to fill in what went on in between, and the rest of the page time is devoted to the final stand of the Justice League of this world.

Our hero for this story is Duke Thomas, who’s been running through the worlds of the Dark Multiverse trying to save even one. But because the Dark Multiverse universally sucks, he wasn’t able to, and is back home on the final living world.

Now, I didn’t know anything about Duke Thomas going into this. He introduces himself as Batman’s final sidekick, and is a metahuman with the power to look into the past, which I personally think is just a fucking fantastic match for a post-apocalypse story.

The state of the world, now, and then

Anyway, after being introduced to the fate of the world, we see what’s become of half the Justice League.

BatDragon’s adorable little jester hat, Medusa!Diana’s sense of propriety, Demon!Clark and his Demon!cowlick, Hal’s, um, nontraditional idea of dragons, and AquaSnake. Teeny tiny Duke included for scale

Why are they dragons? Uh…

There might be an explanation in Dark Nights Metal, but I sure as hell don’t know what it is. But I’m also trash for fantasy elements, so I’ll take my dragons where I can get them.

Anyway, the dragons don't like that Duke's here, and attack! Things aren't going well, and he's about to be eaten by Clark's stomach mouth, but then... Duke’s saved by Manbun!Nightwing, wielding the Parall-axe.

Bwaaaaaaawooooooowww!

Where is the line between awesome and stupid? It’s highly subjective, but personally I thoroughly enjoy things that somehow manage to be both. Pacific Rim’s one of my favorite movies. Is it logical to build giant robots that run off of intense interpersonal connections to punch giant monsters in the face? No. Is it awesome anyway? Hell yes.

And tone is important too. Would I be able to accept the Parall-axe, or a guitar pick with the Nightwing logo, or AquaSnake in a story that was telling me to take it 100% seriously? Probably not. But I'm totally here for it in this.

Now, if you think all of this is the stupidest thing you’ve ever seen, that’s fair. You might want to just stop now, because things continue in this mix of awesome, bizarre, and poignant for the rest of the comic. But I encourage you to put aside your preconceived notions of what a Justice League comic should be, because if you’re willing to meet this comic where it lives, it’s a really fun ride.

Also, if you’re a Halbarry shipper, you should definitely stick around.

Anyway, Dick and Duke run away. Dick’s just here to survive, and doesn’t want to hear Duke’s talk about taking a stand. Duke’s not giving up, though, so he tracks Dick back to the shattered remains of the fallen Watchtower and the remnants of the Justice League.

Tales of the Dark Multiverse: The Apocalypse Collection (Clockwise from the top: Hawkman, Flash, Duke, Hawkgirl, and Detective Chimp/Red Tornado)

Now, these designs are pretty unusual, but I really dig them, especially Detective Chimp and Barry’s. Kendra’s and Dick’s are more traditional Mad Max style apocalypse wear, with the Dark Nights Metal twist of the spiky metal accessories and personal touches like the symbol on Nightwing’s pauldron or Kendra’s clawed boots, ankh, and MC Hammer pants. Hell, I usually hate Hawkman, but him fighting through the call of an evil god because of how much he loves Kendra is really sweet.

Bobo’s clearly jerry rigged what’s left of Red Tornado into a suit. I can so easily see a scenario where the last of the Justice League was trying to hold off the dragons, or one of the world’s other corrupted denizens, while some survivors escaped. Red Tornado’s smashed to bits. Bobo’s back is broken. The others are barely able to get them out of there alive.

And Barry the skeleton. I love the visual hints with the ring that looks like it’s mainlining Speed Force into him. I was actually reminded of Red Racer, a Multiverse Flash who ran 1,000 years in a couple minutes so that his team could save the universe, and all that was left after he finished was his skeleton (Superman (2016) #16). Now, that story didn’t really justify killing Red Racer, which is a whole other can of worms, but in a world were half the Justice League has been corrupted into unstoppable dragons and they’re down to 4 heroes for the whole world?

So he’s running and running, trying to hold things together, knowing that it’s not enough and seeing the toll it’s taking on his body. He comes up with a way to connect with the Speed Force to keep going, even as his body continues to deteriorate. Maybe he even has an idea what happened to the rest of the League, but can’t do anything to help them, because then he’d die and lose the chance to save anyone else. And even through the personal cost he’s paid, the continuous losses they’ve suffered, and a world that continually get bleaker and bleaker, he’s still the one in their group holding on to hope that things will get better.

Or maybe I’m totally wrong, and it’s whatever explanation you came up with (which I’d love to hear!)

To me, the designs make the world feel lived in, which is something that's really important when you’re dropped in at the end of the action. If they’d tried to tell the story of how things got to this point in a single issue, it would have felt rushed and unsatisfying, but instead they chose to leave that up to the audience, trusting that their imaginations can fill in the blanks.

Anyway, Duke gives them a speech about how they can take down the dragons. It doesn’t go over great.

But he keeps trying. They know the end is coming for this world, so why not go down swinging?

The Justice League, then and now. Dick now wears baggy jeans to hammer home to the audience what’s been lost in this nightmare world

They use Duke’s power sparingly, again, in my opinion, to the comic’s benefit. It's just been the stuff I've been including in the recap because they're the important beats.

Anyway, the Batman Who Laughs is hamming it up over at the Hall of Justice. They burninate his ass, then raid the Hall for weapons for the final battle, including a Joker dragon, because why not?

The final showdown. Convenient mood lighting is a feature of Earth-Metal

And now the panels that you’re probably familiar with. Not going to lie, when I was first reading this, I had to stop and reread this page because I didn’t quite believe what I just read. I started this comic thinking it would be the disappointing end to an event that, to me, had been a slog to get through. And while I got on board for a cool apocalypse story a couple pages in, I hadn’t dared to dream it would also include Halbarry content, even if it's between a skeleton Barry and a disembodied hand Hal. I could barely believe it when there it was, right in front of my eyes.

It’s like that scene at the end of a romance movie when the romantic leads lock eyes and just fucking launch themselves at each other

So, a year later, the context for this scene. The sides are facing off for the final battle. Barry is faced with what has become of his friends, the people he founded the Justice League with, and worked with for years to make a better world. All that is gone now, but there’s still hope that something in this world can be saved.

But despite the roar of the dragons, the lightning splitting the red skies, the deep sadness at seeing his friends corrupted into dark reflections of themselves, Barry’s immediately drawn to that familiar green light. He doesn’t have eyes, but can see it clear as day.

Maybe it’s knowing that a Green Lantern’s ring leaves to find a replacement on the Lantern’s death. Maybe it's the knowledge that Hal’s heart and will and indomitable spirit have always fueled his constructs, and that, in that way, this one is no different. Or maybe Barry just knows that, even scarred as they both are by this world, that Hal’s waiting for him and will answer when he calls.

So Barry runs, before the two sides can even reach each other. He knows what he has to do, for his own sake and for Hal's. He runs, as fast as he can go, fast enough that he leaves behind the portal connecting him to the speed force.

He calls, and Hal answers. Instead of attacking, Hal creates a path.

Barry runs through the construct, surrounded one last time by the strength of Hal’s will. He can feel what’s left of his body breaking down around him, bones pulling loose from their joints with no ligaments to hold them, the bones themselves disintegrating from friction and movement and heat.

But then he sees Hal’s hand. It’s his right hand, his ring hand. Of course that’s what it would be, the part of him that would house Hal’s spirit. He reaches out.

Bones snap, and the Speed Force he’s carried with him no longer sustaining him. But that doesn't matter. Barry’s hand closes around Hal’s. His consciousness starts to slip away as Hal’s construct crumbles around them. If he still had lips to smile, he’d smile now, because they’re together again.

Both of them, saved.

Okay, that turned into fanfiction there. But honestly, this might be some of the most blatantly Halbarry published content I've seen. I wasn’t kidding when I said I thought it was a beautiful moment, though I also stand by this all looking fucking weird even with the context. But I also find it hilarious that Barry doesn’t even wait for the final battle splash page to wrap up before charging straight at Hal.

Anyway, back to the fight.

Diana and Arthur get taken out with a little less fanfare. Would it have been nice to give them an emotional send off too? Yes. It would have been a bit tougher with their current JL line up, but I can totally empathize with the WW or Aquaman fans who wanted more. It’s how I feel in a lot of team books with GL and the Flash too.

Instead the WW and Aquaman fights focus on the pair of heroes fighting them. It was still really sweet for Bobo and Red Tornado, who have been bickering the entire comic, embracing each other in the end, and Hawkman and Hawkgirl going out together almost made me feel like Hawkgirl didn’t get horribly screwed by being stuck with Carter forever in this universe.

That’s part of what stood out to me so much about the Hal and Barry send off; they’re not usually the Justice League members who get that kind of moment outside of say, Blackest Night, where they were essentially the main characters. Usually that kind of attention is reserved for Bats and Supes, so the unexpected sentiment was really appreciated.

RIP MedusDiana and AquaSnake

Sorry, still can’t take AquaSnake seriously.

Clark and Dick’s showdown gets a full page, compared to everyone else, who got half a page each. That part’s par for the course.

The rest of the issue is Duke Thomas’s showdown with BarBATos. Subtle, I know.

I love that the dragon’s wearing pants. Whatever brand he and the Hulk shop with, it’s clearly working for them

Anyway, Duke has some great final lines in this last bit, turns the situation around into a really cool power up, and we get our first and only hero of the Dark Multiverse. I’ll let you guys read that part for yourselves. This post is already long enough.

Is it bizarre? Does it make sense in any larger continuity? Why are there dragons, anyway? I’d argue that none of that matters, and that it’s okay to tell a story that doesn’t worry about any of that. Because it succeeds in creating a world, in presenting interesting ideas and places to take its characters, and gives us characters to root for and who we want to succeed.

And yeah, it’s still a darker story of a world at its end, and almost everyone dies, but it’s also a story about hope, and fighting against the odds, and of pulling through. It's about taking a shit situation and turning it into something awesome. In other words, a superhero story. And I love everything about it.

Well, okay, some of the art’s a little strange. But overall, solid win in my books.

#halbarry #comic recommendations #with a pinch of salt #Okay 2.2k words of comic recommendation and 300 words of halbarry fic #not sorry AquaSnake #totally didn't forget about this in my drafts for a couple months #Tales of the Dark Multiverse #Dark Nights Metal #Tales of the Dark Multiverse: Dark Nights Metal

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brw · 2 years ago

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Thanks for the sending an asks for the ship meme! Now it's my turn, here you go: Steve Rogers/Hank Pym for the ship ask.

big spoon/little spoon: honestly Hank likes to big spoon even if he's much smaller & skinnier, it looks slightly ridiculous when he does but Steve spooning is like. too much. Steve is a very large man.

favorite non-sexual activity: I think they both like to watch baseball together or read together, Steve reads fantasy & Hank reads either science related journals or some Batman comics

who uses all the hot water: neither of them really, both of them were raised poor so they're very conscious of the scarcity of hot water, and neither of them seem the type to take long showers.

most trivial thing they fight over: Steve leaving his shield in stupid positions, Hank ahs definitely slipped at least twice, and Hank inviting bugs in & not getting them to leave.

who does most of the cleaning: Steve, Hank can clean but only does when he's like. properly medicated & hydrated which is very rarely otherwise he just forgets or is too stressed to get started on it.

what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: Hank probably, he watches more TV I think than Steve

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat's not working: hmm....... I mean obviously normally it's not a problem but I think Hank, both of them have a grit your teeth and just deal with it mentality but Hank has a lower threshold for that

who steals the blankets: Hank , he's a restless sleeper & Steve sleeps like the dead.

who leaves their stuff around: honestly Steve I think... he's more likely dropping everything & running out to save the day, that said Hank does accidentally shrink things & forget about them a lot so he does it a lot too.

who remembers to buy the milk: Steve, Hank only really remembers stuff like very specific brands of cereal one of his many kids prefers but forgets you eat cereal with milk while Steve approaches the supermarket with the same determination & strategy of a battlefield

who remembers anniversaries: Steve more often , Hank has probably forgotten his own birthday

Who cooks normally? Hank, Steve grew up under ration times&the Great Depression & it fucking shows.

How often do they fight? Not all that often, but often enough, I think generally they're both understanding of each other but I think Steve struggles to understand why Hank can't do certain things or struggles to do them at times while I think sometimes Steve's practicality towards everything grates on Hank if he's already in a bad mood.

What do they do when they're away from each other? Hank does science and talks to insects, Steve gives inspirational speeches to anyone in near vicinity & continues his endless task of getting into modern day media.

Nicknames for each other? Cap, obviously, is a big one, I think Hank would also call Steve sweetheart and would like, call him doll once as a joke but starts unironically calling him that too which Steve hates just a little, I don't think Steve calls Hank a lot of nicknames but he might call him baby when he's stressed out.

Who is more likely to pay for dinner? Hank I think, Steve doesn't remember to bring a credit card at all.

What would they get each other for gifts? Steve tries really hard to give stuff that Hank actually likes, like spends takes quietly conversing with Jan & Victor Mancha & everyone who's close with Hank to figure out what he likes to get him, which Hank appreciates. Hank probably like. manages to track down a piece of lost media from the 30s & 40s which Steve wasn't even into that much but the amount of dedication & determination it takes for that stuff does touch Steve emotionally quite a bit.

Who kissed who first? You know, I'm not sure. I think I'll go with Hank, like in an impulsive spur of the moment & Steve was into it.

Who made the first move? Steve I think , generally, Hank would very easily break his own heart by not talking about his own feelings ever.

Who remembers things? Steve , I mean canonically has the photographic memory

Who started the relationship? I think Steve kind of started the whole dating thing but in terms of like, defining their relationship, I think that was Hank.

Who cusses more? Hank absolutely swears so often. Steve wants to but rarely allows himself to.

What would they do if the other was hurt? I mean to a point both of them are pretty used to the other getting beaten, so mostly hanging out with each other at the hospital & making sure they're okay & have everything they want :)

Domestic ship ask prompt

#tysm for asking!!!#esteicy-blog #shieldant #hank pym #steve rogers #ask games} answers

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batarangsoundsdumb · 4 years ago

Text

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

#this is only like half of it #but at least you can get like a few answers #yanno fuck it #bataranswers #ask #asks #anon

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write-like-wright · 3 years ago

Note

u asked for requests so im here to comply😳could you maybe do a ”should you date them” with the defense attorneys in the series?? or just generally some other characters?? bc the prosecutor one added like 20 years to my lifespan lmao. hope u have a great day!!

I'm so glad you liked it!!! Here's the sequel, just for you <33

Original post here

Should you date them: Ace Attorney defense lawyers edition

Phoenix Wright

yes, you really should

probably one of the best, if not the best, boyfriends in the series

wanna get married? husband material

wanna have kids? father material

has a tendency to casually adopt children actually, could be an issue at some point

worships you

you know how some guys brag about how they'd die for you?

Nick would unironically die for you

may even come close a few times but I'm pretty sure he's canonically invincible (eating poisoned glass and falling off a burning bridge, who?? tis' but a scratch!)

massive gossip

gets home after an investigation and immediately starts like "you won't believe what I found out about Gumshoe today"

somehow surprisingly mature and good at keeping secrets in spite of everything

has a lot of really cool friends!!! and larry

have you seen those shoulders tho?? mans built like a dorito, smashing through massive wooden doors n stuff

biggest monthly expense is hair gel

claims his hair is natural but you know better

don't be the big spoon, he will poke your eyes out

can somewhat read your mind tho? a bit off-putting but ok

marry him before Edgeworth someone else does

Mia Fey

hell yeah, dude

cool, calm, collected

has literal superpowers

successful business owner at 27!!! unironical #girlboss

went from being a lame rookie to a literal legend with her own practice and an apprentice in, like, three years

she's so smart, I fear her

has the fashion sense of a female character drawn by a cis man... oh, wait

god help whoever tries to hurt you

will literally kick their ass to hell

family-oriented

believes in second chances

took phoenix under her wing after everything, mia has the patience of a saint honestly

drops cool oneliners in everyday speech like a marvel character

curve lovers rejoice

doesn't mind being called dorky nicknames

major wife material

Diego Armando/Godot

I already covered him in my prosecutors list,, literally did not occur to me to split Diego and Godot into two lists

but to sum up, if I had to choose between the two, I'd go for Diego

i like my men like i like my coffee - tall, dark and bitter

^^ eats up pickup lines like those

Apollo Justice

Polly is such a sweet babey boy, please be nice to him

short king

low on confidence, makes up for it by being loud

*voice cracking* HE'S FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!

your neighbours will hate him

such a pushover, will do anything you ask of him

sensitive boy, not afraid to cry

pretends not to be dorky - is very dorky

consumes nerdy media almost exclusively (canonically a Whovian! but Capcom can't say that)

bikes everywhere and is apparently good with a hula hoop

Polly got cake is what I'm saying

have you seen his cool street style clothes?? sk8er boi

very grounded, literally

might play around and hold your hand for comfort

won't come to visit you if you live on a high floor, sorry

cat dad!!! cat pics!!! yes!!!

about 7 different tragic backstories

new secret family member drops every week

stares at you when you speak sometimes

is he jealous of Klavier?? does he have a crush on him??? who knows but it's funny watching them interact

bicon

spends way too much time on his hair

someone please date him, he deserves some love

Athena Cykes

holy childhood trauma batman

been through a lot

total empath

if you're sad, she's sad

can kinda read your mind... why is this such a common thing in AA games?? I like my privacy

super energetic

will drag you to the gym, take you on hikes, practice wrestling moves on you...

you will always be sore but also in the best shape of your life

has minus 25 chill

incapable of keeping secrets from you

her weird goth convict uncle threatens you every once in a while

she promises he means it in a friendly way

loves europop

way too accomplished for her age, everyone in this game is so smart, help

i feel like she'd enjoy theme parks idk

date her, she's baby and she needs some TLC

Kristoph Gavin

he's scary

thinks he's better than you

thinks he's better than everyone

has the audacity to wear white shoes with a blue suit??? are you going to prom????? sir????

obsessed with phoenix wright to an alarming degree

perfectly manicured nails!

the kind of guy who warns you never to go into his basement

nice on the outside but it's all fake

deeply rooted issues even he's unaware of

if you like drillbit hair consider Klavier instead

Ryunosuke Naruhodo

world's biggest baby

secretly a bitch

loves to clown on people

fake it till you make it

has no clue what he's doing most of the time

very determined in spite of that

everyone loves him

so many cool friends

cries at the thought of your bare ankles

physically incapable of walking by a shop and not buying something he doesn't need

"look, i got you a gift!!" "awh, how sweet! ...what is it?" "i don't know, i'll ask Mr Sholmes when he gets home!"

good with his tongue

may be somewhat trapped in the closet

has literally zero chill

remember when he just casually chased armed robbers??

must be a family trait

Iris interrogates you about your intentions with her brother

she has a gun

you have no privacy at his place

Sholmes crashes your dates

his bromance with Kazuma sometimes drops the "b"

becomes ultra cool eventually

hop into that time machine and date Ryu's ass, but be prepared to deal with period-appropriate homoeroticism and misogyny lol

Extra little shout out to Kazuma Asogi for that one time where he was a defense lawyer for, like, an hour and a half and somehow managed to cram 50 of the horniest one-liners in the game in that very limited time. Date him.

#ace attorney #the great ace attorney #gyakuten saiban #dai gyakuten saiban #phoenix wright #mia fey #diego armando #apollo justice #athena cykes #kristoph gavin #ryunosuke naruhodo #is that everyone?#hope you like this kajfkjkanjkang #aa ramblings #headcanons #request

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sanchoyo · 3 years ago

Text

danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)

#sanchoyorambles #danny phantom #dp thoughts

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thanagariansnarebeast · 4 years ago

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Top 15 villains: Part 1

I’ve been meaning to do this list for a while, but kept getting distracted. Villains are very different for me to rank compared to the heroes; heroes I ranked based on personality and morality; but villains I’m ranking on personality, entertainment, and relationship to hero. After all, villains by nature are almost always the antagonists, and they play off of the hero; so that factor is important. Most of them see themselves as the heroes of their own story in some way, but I would definitely not call any of these characters heroic. Some of these characters have different versions of them over the decades, but I’ll talk about my favorite versions of them.

15. Ozymandias

“ My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair! “ That quote does quite nicely define this character, someone who did a monstrous act to try to save the world. I have already featured him on my fallen heroes list, because for most of his life he was a hero; the terrible thing that he did was really surprising to me when I first read it; and I did feel his betrayal. He’s lonely, calm, and extremely intelligent; and you can really tell that he understands that what he did was awful. You might be thinking “Does doing one terrible thing really make you a villain?” and I would argue that yes it does. He didn’t like doing what he had to do, but he doesn’t consider it a mistake, he would do it again if he felt that he had to. Also spoiler for this list, he’s the only one that isn’t a main DC or Marvel villain, I think him being on this list for only being in one book ever really speaks to how interesting he is and how fucking good the Watchmen comic is. I refuse to read the DC Watchmen stuff, so it is possible he shows up in that; but I don’t like how DC keeps unironically using characters meant as a take down of the genre itself. (The HBO Watchmen series is fantastic though, I highly recommend).

14. Deathstroke

Deathstroke seems to be thought of by a lot of people as mainly a Batman villain, and while I think he is a great villain for Batman; I think he’s better as a Teen Titans villain. Some of the plans and tactics he uses to fight them are absolutely brutal. The Judas Contract is one of the best Titans stories, and he is the mastermind behind all of it; he really knows how to twist the knife. Some writers make him more of an anti-hero, but I think he is far better when he is using his intimidating physical prowess, cunning, and ruthless intelligence to do everything he can do destroy a hero.

13. The Anti-Monitor

“Worlds lived, worlds died. Nothing will ever be the same.“ Holy shit is this guy bad news; Thanos and Darkseid showing up is enough for you to understand that the world might be about to end; but this guy destroys entire realities. He is the big bad for one of my favorite comic book stories, and the consequences of his actions shaped the DC multiverse for decades, and his actions sill can be felt to this day. The first villain on this list that is just pure, absolute evil, he is responsible for the deaths of countless DC universes, as well as Supergirl and the Flash. DC really likes bringing dead characters back to life, building off of (and sometimes ruining) the legacy of characters, but they almost never do it with Anti-Monitor; because he’s such a cataclysmic threat that there is not a lot of stories you can even have with him. The CW did a great job with the Crisis on Infinite Earths adaptation they did, though they didn’t really make Anti-Monitor look as intimidating as I would have liked, and they didn’t make him nearly as big as he should be.

12. Kingpin

The kingpin of crime does live up to his name; not all crime in New York is his doing, but much of it is. He is a fantastic villain, and one who really seems to enjoy what he does. He’s just fun to watch and is so good as an antagonist for Daredevil and Spider-Man. His size makes him seem slow and intimidating, but his body is all muscle; and he has come close to crushing Spider-Man to death. When I was very young I was first exposed to him on the fantastic show Spider-Man: The Animated Series, and he’s been one of my favorites ever sense. Vincent D’Onofrio absolutely blew me away with his portrayal of this character in the Daredevil Netflix series, and I really hope we get to see him again in the MCU.

11. Brainiac

Another villain that is a massive threat, Brainiac has had many different incarnations in the comics, but his incredible intelligence is his defining trait. Another cold, calculating villain, he collects cities full of people because to him; they have to be preserved and studied. The idea of being shrunken down and living in an isolated world just to amuse an alien robot is a pretty scary concept. Superman is his main adversary, but many times it takes the entire Justice League (And sometimes some of the more helpful villains) to take him down. He has such a perverse logic to him that I really enjoy, and when he someday shows up in a film I really hope they do him justice.

10. Mr. Freeze

Doctor Victor Fries is one of the most sympathetic villains on this list, he really just wants to save his wife. Batman: The Animated Series wrote that origin story for him, and its stuck ever sense. There is a deep and beautiful tragedy to the character, and you completely understand why he is doing what he is doing, even if you personally wouldn’t go that far. His character makes you think “How far would I go to help the person I love most in the world?” and any villain that makes you introspective about yourself is a great character. His ice theme and very distinct look really makes it fun to see how different artists design him. He’s one of Batman’s more popular villains, and Batman has some of the best villains in comics. He makes Batman question himself and his motivations, because he doesn’t really want to hurt anyone; he just wants to survive and cure his wife, and if no one ever got in his way he would probably do exactly that. His story is a tragedy of circumstances, but his inability to go about getting what he wants in any other way, and his uncaring attitude for most other people definitely makes him a villain.

9. Doomsday

This character really is the polar (pun intended) opposite of the last character on this list. Doomsday is a big, unstoppable killing machine; and he defeated most of the Justice League with one hand tied behind his back. He is just such a raw, brutal character that I love seeing him show up. This thing has the power to come back to life, unable to be hurt by what killed it before; and spent decades wiping out entire planets before it came to Earth. His biggest and scariest feat is literally beating Superman to death! His best story was his first one, but every time he shows up and Superman fights him, in the back of his mind he has to be thinking “This thing killed me before, and its stronger now.” which is just absolutely terrifying. His striking visual design and brutal nature are always enjoyable, and he was one of my favorite characters to play as in Injustice: Gods Among Us.

#My lists #top 15 #villains #Marvel #DC #comics

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nokomiss · 4 years ago

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4, 8, 20, & 25? since I went on that spree of commenting on your batfam fics on a03 the other night lmaoo sorry about that

Omg that was you?? You have NOTHING to apologize for, that made my NIGHT. I kept giddily opening my inbox and seeing which story you hit next and rereading the comments and hoping you’d be my best friend. ♥ (i am notoriously slow at replying to comments so they’re going to happen just. slowly. i cherish them i promise.)

Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

This is actually a super hard one for me to answer because I hate rereading my own stuff. But i’m going to go with this part of to brighten up even your darkest knight:

Steph knew Batman had a file on her father. He was a criminal, after all. Batman had arrested him a dozen times. But while she’d added stuff to the file on the computer and sometimes went online to add embarrassing and true facts to his wiki page, she’d never looked at Batman’s paper files on him.

Because I laughed a lot at the idea of Cluemaster’s DCU wiki page including stuff like leaves wet towels on the floor and once wore a Miami Vice crop top unironically on his list of crimes.

Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

Yes and no! I tend to write the fics I want to read desperately -- like pure self-indulgence, the stuff I want to roll around in. Usually when I do tackle a longer fic it’s because I’ve come to the conclusion that no one else is going to write this very specific idea that I want to read, and unfortunately I have to do it myself. But I also love to read the kinds of fics I don’t have much desire to write myself -- like epic, intricately plotted things, or long, involved AUs, or really all sorts of things. (If a fic is super well written, I can and will read almost anything.)

Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Okay so here’s something! In my baby Steph fic, she is essentially babysat by a waitress named Cathy who is very clearly Catherine Todd, and in my headcanon for Steph and Jason when I write, there’s always that connection between them. I haven’t given in to the urge to write it out yet -- it’s developed more in my mind, where that wasn’t an isolated incident but happened a couple times, and maybe once or twice they even met, even though they haven’t thought about it in years or connected that kid they vaguely knew with this person they now fight crime with sometimes, and eventually one of them finds an old picture of their childhood selves together (and were totally fighting) and it’s this totally improbable connection that makes perfect sense because their lives were so mirrored, they’re so close in age, and their parents could so easily have crossed paths. If Tim and Dick could meet at the circus then by golly Jason and Steph could have, too. It’s very similar to the thing I did with the friendship bracelet fic where Bruce and baby Steph had interacted, so clearly that’s a thing I like doing. Like, most of my Batman fics so far have been one shots so they don’t really all mesh together but sometimes I mentally tie bits and pieces of them together.

What part of writing is the most fun?

Oh easily when you hit a pocket of inspiration and the story feels like it’s just APPEARING on the screen. That sweet spot when you don’t struggle for words, when everything clicks, when getting from point A to point B is effortless and when you reread it it makes you grin at the screen. Or, alternatively, when you’ve struggle to bridge two parts of a scene (I tend to skip over transitions or parts of scenes i struggle with to write the part that’s easier, then go back and bridge it later so that I don’t lose momentum) and you come back the next day and think, “OH! That’s where this needs to be discussed!” and it fixes everything. That’s the most fun.

Also, getting comments/seeing people’s reaction to the story you’ve crafted. Like, it’s work and you think through every word choice and then you just HOPE that someone will share the bits they liked best with you, or tell you they liked it, or kudos it. The sweet, sweet validation after. ♥

#my writing #deadtedkord

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elareine · 5 years ago

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Misperceptions

Rating: Teen Warnings: Swearing Relationships: Dick Grayson/Damian Wayne, Tim Drake/Jason Todd (side), Dick Grayson & Jason Todd Tags: Brotherly Bonding, Future Fic, 5+1 Things, Pining, Misunderstandings, Jealousy, Fluff, Guilt, Family AO3: /21199679 Companion to Reasons to be jealous.

Five times Dick was jealous of Tim and Jason’s relationship, and the one time he wasn’t.

One

Dick couldn’t tell you how he ended up here.

Jason didn’t even work with him all that often. They usually stuck to clearly demarcated lines in their cases. The last attempted homicide between them might’ve been a while back by now; that didn’t mean Dick was necessarily comfortable around him, and he refused to apologize for that.

This time, there had been no way to avoid cooperation. Considering everything, it had gone okay. Two human traffickers were behind bars that hadn’t been before, so Dick considered it a win. After the arrests, Jason had suggested a drink, and Dick, not wanting to reject him without reason, had taken him up on it. One or two beers, and then they’d head home.

One beer had turned into fruity cocktails had turned into tequila straight from the bottle. Maybe it was their competitive nature that wouldn’t allow them to back down when the other ordered something, maybe it was the stress of the past few days slash years, but Jason was basically spread all over the booth now, Dick comfortably nestled into the corner beside him, their shoulders touching as they passed the bottle back and forth.

“So, little wing, are you seeing anyone? Or is there a hot chick waiting for the Red Hood in every city by now?” he settled on. That was what a big brother was supposed to ask, right? Never mind that he had to look up at Jason as he said it. He’d never asked Damian that question—but that was a bad thought, and bad thoughts deserved tequila.

Dick took another sip.

“Nah.” Jason took the bottle from him and examined it critically. “Goddammit, Dick, are you trying to kill yourself? How much of this did you drink?”

He was one to talk, slurring as he was. Dick graciously overlooked that fact, insisting: “What do you mean, nah? There’s gotta be someone.”

“Well, yeah, Tim.”

Jason grimaced at his own words, though Dick wasn’t sure why. His head felt slow and fuzzy. “What does Tim have to do with this conversation?”

“I’m in love with him, dickhead.” Jason snorted. “Hah. Dickhead. That’s never not funny.”

Dick had heard that joke about a million times before; he was drunk enough to chuckle anyways.

“How long?” he asked when he’d calmed down. Kinda embarrassing, him not noticing his little brothers dating. Urgh. Phrasing it like that made it sound weird.

Jason shrugged. “Dunno. Years.”

Funny that he was so blasé about that. Dick had pegged him to be the type to remember anniversaries to the minute. Not like Tim really cared about that stuff, though, so it was probably fine.

Now that Dick thought about it, they were sweet to and about each other all the time. Fighting crime together counted as, like, a prime dating activity in vigilante circles. Dick remembered all the times Tim had mentioned he was grabbing breakfast or dinner with Jason.

And it made total sense. Tim was the main reason Jason had calmed down considerably in the killing department, and Jason had been loyal to Tim whatever happened, arguing his side every time, even with Damian. Dick didn’t know how he hadn’t noticed it before. They were so obviously a couple.

It was unfair, he thought mutinously. Jason and Tim had just seemed to click from the beginning. They were clearly made for each other.

“What the fuck are you talking about. Are you forgetting what I did when I first met him?”

Jason’s voice was both incredulous and ashamed, but Dick wasn’t paying any attention, his thoughts going down a path they had traveled, many times before. Only this time, he spoke them out loud. “You two are so… I just—I just want Damian to—”

And then, to his utter humiliation, Dick broke down in tears.

Fucking tequila.

He didn’t remember anything that happened after that. That was probably a blessing.

Two

Jason was in his late twenties now. It had been almost ten years since he’d returned to Gotham. Dick got drunk with him less than a week ago. Talking to him shouldn’t feel like making polite small talk with a stranger, but it did.

“Yeah, I tend to turn the heater up, too,” Jason was saying, sounding bored with himself. He’d been tapping away on his phone for most of the day. “Tim likes it a bit chilly, though, so I’m getting used to it.”

Dick didn’t take his eyes off the target as he sighed. If only the man would do anything more exciting than sit in an office all day. He mournfully remembered the Mafiosi of his youth, all of which would rather have been caught dead (and in many cases were) than sit in front of a computer all day.

Jason’s phone buzzed again. His brother didn’t even bother to apologize before grabbing it to reply.

“Tim?” Dick finally asked, more to start the conversation again than because he had any doubts.

Jason hummed in agreement. “He needs important mission intel.”

Dick rolled his eyes. “He’s bored at work, isn’t he?”

“So am I.”

“Oh, excuse me, is my company that terrible?” Call him a hypocrite, Dick still felt insulted.

“No, but trying not to talk about the elephant in the room is. You know. Our little tequila evening.”

…Dick had really hoped they could just keep ignoring that. Jesus Christ, go right for the sore spot, won’t you, Jason? Dick had never regretted the bluntness his family was famous for more than at this moment. Well, there had been that time Steph had described ‘pegging’ to Damian after he, being twelve, had asked why Dick was walking so funny after visiting his then-girlfriend… and the time Bruce had given him The Talk again after noticing he was interested in boys… and the time Babs had—okay, maybe this wasn’t even top five, because there had also been that time where—

Jason’s voice interrupted that thought process, which was probably for the best. “I’m not gonna tell anyone.”

Dick searched his face. Jason looked calm, open, a little bit hopeful—as if he was willing Dick to trust his word.

“Okay, cards on the table, I don’t actually remember what I told you,” Dick finally admitted. “So, uh, please describe the elephant to me.”

Jason hesitated. “Oh. I could forget about it, too, if you like.”

“No,” Dick decided, though he did consider it. Still, he was curious now. And surely it couldn’t be that bad? He couldn’t have been drunk enough to— He couldn’t have been. “Tell me.”

Jason’s phone buzzed. This time, he ignored it, still looking strangely hesitant. “You told me that you’re in love with Damian.”

Dick stopped breathing.

Literally; the ringing in his ears grew louder and louder until he felt hands on his shoulders, shaking him. “Dick. Dick! It’s fine. You’re fine. No one else knows.”

Dick took a gulp of breath, then another, forcing out: “Don’t tell him.” Then: “Don’t tell Bruce.”

“Never,” Jason promised. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Dick wasn’t so sure about that, but—what choice did he have? Weirdly enough, it was that thought that calmed him down. There was nothing he could change about it now. All that was left was running damage control.

At least Jason had waited until they were alone to bring it up and hadn’t told anyone else. That had to count for something, hadn’t it?

“I haven’t—I never told anyone.” He’d barely admitted it to himself.

“I know.” Jason’s smile was sheepish, but there. “You, uh, made me promise the same thing about fifteen times already.”

Dick groaned, embarrassment finally setting in. “God, I’m so sorry. Fucking tequila.”

“Tell me about it. My head hurt for a whole two days after.”

The target chose that moment to move, and they both moved into instant alert—but it was only to the bathroom. Once the man was typing away at his desk again, they relaxed, and Jason finally answered Tim’s texts.

Then he leaned back on his hands casually and peered at Dick. “So. Damian, huh?”

Dick seriously considered ignoring him, but—it might feel… nice. To talk about it with someone. Even if it was Jason.

“Yeah. I know you two don’t—” Dick gestured with clasped hands.

“Hey, no, Damian and I, we’re good,” Jason reassured him. “Tried to kill each other a few times, laid down some ground rules about how to not insult people the other person cares about, and voila, no assassination threats in months now.”

Something in Dick wanted to protest. Damian was so much more than threats of violence, always had been, and it annoyed Dick to no end that people still held his upbringing against him.

Then he realized how ridiculous he would sound saying that to Jason of all people, and instead settled on: “So you just don’t talk about Bruce and Tim at all?”

Jason shrugged. “Pretty much.”

“Huh.” That sounded exhausting, but who was Dick to judge?

“Gotta say I’m a bit surprised, though. Didn’t think you’d go for him.”

Dick tensed, expecting any of the reasons he told himself at night—Damian was too young, too vulnerable, too much his brother—

Jason continued, grinning: “He’s not even a redhead.”

Dick threw his com at Jason’s head, but he was laughing.

Three

Dick unironically loved it whenever a group of bats gathered to work a case (or an Arkham breakout, as it might be.) Sure, there was a lot of bickering happening, but wasn’t that what family was about?

Honestly, it was even better without Bruce. Less tightly run, more fun. Seeing Damian in Bruce’s cowl instead was still weird, though. It wasn’t like Dick himself hadn’t donned it plenty of times. Hell, even Jason had done it once or twice, which had been one hell of a trip for everyone involved.

All of which was a good thing—Damian should have more than being Bruce’s mirror image. Dick was so proud of the way he’d grown into himself, had taken on his own vigilante identity.

However, it was a reminder that the child he had helped socialize, the Robin to his Batman, had, indeed, grown into a man. A man that didn’t smile often, to be sure; one that still liked to keep the world at bay, that trusted few, showed his heart to even fewer.

Something sharp dug into his side. “Earth to Nightwing, Earth to Nightwing.”

Dick started. Fuck. He’d been staring at Damian again, hadn’t he?

With a grateful smile, he elbowed Jason right back. “It’s called thinking, ever tried it?”

“Not your particular kind, no.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I occasionally suspect there are fluffy clouds moving behind these eyes and nothing more.”

“Aww, Little Hoodling,” Dick sang, sliding his arm around Jason in a deceptively friendly move, “one day, you’ll be a real boy, too.” Then he moved—or tried to.

It was like trying to flip a car.

Dick tried again. Sure, there was little leverage like this, but he’d been able to flip Damian (who wasn’t that much lighter than Jason, and just as tall) the other day without much effort; why was this so much more difficult?

But Jason didn’t move. “Bit heavier than you remembered, Nightwing?”

Dick made a show of sticking out his lower lip to cover how startled he was. Had it really been that long since he’d been roughhousing with Jason? He could swear it had been a thousand times, but… apparently not.

Dick couldn’t regret getting away from Bruce back then. It had been necessary. But he was glad they now had a chance to move on as a family.

Okay, maybe some people would be a bit more worried about the dozens or so homicidal criminals heading their way disrupting any reconciliations. Dick never had been one of these people. Tim and Jason fought together like a well-oiled machine. As for him and Damian…

Well. They were the best, weren’t they?

Coming back to the cave, high on adrenaline and full of cravings for Alfred’s cookies, had always been one of the best parts of the job for Dick. Add in the all-too-rare opportunity to spend some quality time with Damian… the night, or morning, was looking up.

Jason, God bless him, headed right for the showers. Tim, however, lingered, looking ready to set up camp at his workstation.

“Why are you here and not in the shower?” Dick waved a hand in the direction Jason had disappeared to. It wasn’t meant to imply anything dirty, except it was.

“I need to write a mission report,” Tim protested, true to his little workaholic form. Dick would’ve expected that to lessen a bit now that he was getting some. Though now that he considered it, Jason was a workaholic, too.

“We can do that, right, little D?” Dick smiled at Damian, who grumbled but acquiesced. “Go ahead and have an early night, dude. You look beat.”

“Uh. Thanks.”

“Let’s get this over with,” Damian said, already sitting down and spreading maps on the table. Dick, not wanting to annoy him further when he’d basically forced Damian to stay for the rest of the night, made haste to join him.

When they’d gathered the full picture of the events of the night, he frowned. “What I can’t figure out is: Where did they get those supplies from? There does not seem to be a single origin point.”

“Hmm.” Damian was chewing on a pen again. It was adorable. “Flyover?”

“No planes detected.” Dick rechecked the flight radars.

“Plenty of people know how to hide from our equipment. You said it yourself: Someone paid a lot of money to stir up this much trouble.”

“We would’ve noticed the packages, though.”

Damian nodded, conceding the point. “Water?”

“The river is meant to be well-guarded…” Dick’s voice trailed off, and they both sighed at the same time.

“We should go over the guard postings; check for suspicious activity.”

Engrossed as he way with their discussion, Dick barely noticed Tim and Jason leaving, only calling a cursory ‘Take care!’ after them before Damian demanded his attention again. Eventually, they had to begin writing their reports, though, and Dick concentrated on his laptop to do so. The silence was comfortable, and time flew by.

Damian silently vanished at some point, returning some minutes later with a plate of cookies and two mugs full of steaming hot chocolate. It smelled heavenly.

Dick smiled up at him as he took the mug—his favorite superman one, he noted. “Thank you.”

Damian didn’t smile back, but there was a slant to his mouth that told Dick he was pleased. When the other sat down again, he did so right next to Dick on the bench, their thighs touching. “Show me the surveillance video again.”

“Of course.”

Dick was pretty sure Damian had it on his computer, but maybe not. Not like he was going to deny the opportunity to be this close to Damian. Bruce was away, after all. And even if he checked the surveillance footage from the cave, what was there to see? It wasn’t like he was doing anything untoward, Dick told himself. He just took a little more comfort from being close to Damian than he did when it was any of his other siblings, that was all.

Their heads were bent over the video for almost an hour; neither broke focus up until a new figure entered the cave.

“Morning, Duke.” Dick waved at the newcomer.

“Hi, guys. How was the breakout?”

“Fine. We handled it.” Damian seemed annoyed. Dick didn’t know why; he’d been fine until just now, and he and Duke usually got along well in their own way.

Duke seemed unfazed, merely looking around. “Where’re the reds?”

“They’re fine,” Dick reassured him. “Just headed out already.”

“Let me guess.” Duke’s voice was dry. “They’re feeding each other waffles.”

“I think it’s pancakes today.” Damian matched him in tone, and Dick chuckled.

“Let them have some fun, eh? At least Tim gets fed this way.”

“Too. Much. Flirting.” Duke shook his head and moved to the back of the cave, presumably getting ready for his shift.

When Dick looked up, Damian was staring at him in a way Dick had never seen before. He felt himself flush, wanted to ask—but Duke returned with his uniform and a question about the new batarangs, Damian looked away, and the moment passed.

Four

“If he’s coming to Wayne functions now, we might as well make Jason officially a part of the family again.”

Dick did his best to smile at Tim reassuringly, unsure if this was Tim’s way of floating the idea of Jason being reintroduced to the public as his boyfriend. Playing it safe, he pointed out: “Bruce doesn’t know how to ask, and he thinks Jason will say no.”

“He might not.”

Of course he wouldn’t, not if Tim asked him to. Jason was so whipped. Dick wasn’t kidding himself: If Tim hadn’t been complaining for weeks about having to attend this event, Jason wouldn’t be here. He was even making nice with some socialites to give Tim a break, for God’sGod’s sake.

Dick let his gaze wander over to where he’d last spotted Jason and flinched when he saw that Damian had joined him.

Their youngest had been late; out on a call as Flamebird. Dick was sure it had been important and all that, but he didn’t think it warranted him being deprived of this sight for so long.

If Dick liked seeing him in the batsuit, Damian in formal wear was… The dramatic lines of Damian’s suit, a close approximation of the styles his maternal family favored, made him look like royalty.

The people around him seemed to think so, too. There was a woman at Damian’s elbow, laughing and touching his shoulder whenever he spoke. The man across from him couldn’t tear his gaze away, either, visibly undressing Damian in his mind.

Dick kind of wanted to punch him. Or better, yet: Go over and show them that Damian was supposed to be his, mark him and dishevel him and have him look at no one else; let him do the same to show that Dick belonged to Damian in return.

His hands went to his own throat without any conscious input, pressing into bruises that weren’t there. For cover, he loosened his tie, clearing his throat as if to force himself to breathe normally.

When he dragged his thoughts back to his own conversation, he saw that Tim, too, was staring at the group with hunger in his face. For a second, he felt an unexpected kinship with his brother, the urge to share what was plaguing him growing strong—but no.

He just couldn’t.

“Well, you would know better than anyone else,” he absently pointed out the obvious instead.

“I know that if he keeps throwing Damian to the wolves like that, he won’t live long enough to answer Bruce.”

Dick laughed. “Aww, you know Damian only means his death threats 30% of the time these days. Still, I’ll go rescue him. Coming?”

Tim waved him off, and as Dick advanced on the group, he noticed Jason peeling off. Well, about time. Jason had left Tim’s side for a whole twenty minutes already, surely a new record. Dick had no idea how those two thought they were being subtle.

Even before he began to speak, he felt Damian looking at him.

All attention was welcome to Dick, but being the focus of Damian’s… It was like no one else existed to him but Dick, and Dick craved that feeling more than anything in the world. Damian, he knew, judged everything and everyone. Being regarded like that and still found worthy was headier than any wine.

Buoyed by the feeling, he turned his best smile at the group: “Excuse me, ladies, gentlemen, but I need to steal Damian away from you for a few minutes. Our host has been asking for him.”

Damian nodded gravely, turning to leave immediately. There was a fleeting touch to Dick’s elbow that spoke of thanks for extracting him from the situation.

He himself stayed for some minutes before making his own excuses, vaguely ambling back towards the buffet. It never hurt to look drunker than any of them would allow themselves to be at this kind of event.

The sound of laughter drew his eyes to the dance floor.

Jason and Tim were dancing. If Dick tilted his head at a thirty-two-degree angle and squinted just so, he could call it a quickstep. They looked ridiculous; two very-grown men, twirling each other like they were delicate princesses and giggling the entire time.

And yet.

There was a bitter taste in the back of his throat. He’s never been someone to hide his love. If Damian were his, he’d want to proclaim it openly and proudly, just like Jason and Tim were doing now.

They never could. Even if, by some miracle, Damian returned his feelings, they were siblings in the eyes of the world. There was no coming back from that.

“They’re making a spectacle of themselves.”

Dick shivered. He hadn’t noticed Damian coming up behind him. Now the warmth against his back and Damian’s low whisper against his ear were unmistakable.

Damian had grown so tall, almost towering over Dick; tall enough that he could rest his chin on the top of Dick’s head, and for one long moment Dick thought he might do precisely that, pull Dick into him by the hips and envelop him so fully—

But Damian cleared his throat and stepped back. Dick swayed on his feet, shame and arousal burning in his stomach in equal measure.

Immediately, Damian’s hand was on his elbow, steadying him with care most would not suspect him capable of. Dick leaned into it gratefully before he knew what he was doing.

Christ. He needed to get out of there.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m not feeling so well,” Dick blurted out, immediately wincing at how obvious a lie it was.

Incredibly, though, Damian let him get away with it. He merely looked over to Jason and Tim, and nodded as if he understood; though what it was he understood, Dick didn’t know. “Do you require assistance? I will call Pennyworth, let him know you are coming.”

Great, and now Dick felt terrible for making Damian worry.

“No, it’s fine.” He smiled, hoping it was convincing. “I just need to get some rest, I think.”

“Take the night off,” Damian ordered. “We will cover for you at the office.”

There was nothing for Dick to do but agree. Maybe a night off would help him get his shit together. Ever since he confided in Jason and found out about his relationship with Tim, his mood had gotten worse. A good night of sleep could only improve things.

Impossible as it was, he felt Damian’s gaze on him all the way home.

Five

“Damian is back,” Tim told them through the coms. “Everything is set up for tomorrow.”

“Alright. Get some sleep, babybird.”

Jason’s voice was so soft. Something in Dick ached, listening to it.

That was the one good thing to come out of this mess: being privileged to see this side of Jason. Dick had to admit to himself that he hadn’t let himself see it before.

Still, he wouldn’t be Jason’s older brother if he didn’t tease him: “Getting all sappy on me, are you?”

“Excuse me?”

The genuine confusion on Jason’s face was hilarious. “Babybird.”

“Oh, that.” Jason tried to shrug it off. “Just a nickname.”

“You’re so sweet.”

Jason grumbled to himself. “Watch yourself, or next time I’ll let you act the loving couple with Damian.”

Images rose unbidden in Dick’s mind. Damian smiling down at him, pulling him into his arms at the reception, pressing a kiss into his neck… And then later, Damian shirtless, looming over Dick, caging him in, looking for all the world as if he wanted to devour him…

Dick swallowed. Maybe Jason had a point.

They got ready for bed in comfortable silence. At least it wasn’t awkward being half-naked around the other anymore. Dick was pretty sure there was a gun taped underneath Jason’s nightstand, but at least he was polite enough to hide it.

They slid under the covers, though neither of them turned off the string of fairy lights that were probably supposed to add to the romantic atmosphere. As it was, lovers staying up all night was exactly the image they wanted to create, so it served their purpose.

Still neither of them slept, too alert to their surroundings. Dick was content to just lie here, maybe doze off a bit, until morning came.

Then Jason inhaled and rolled over to his side. “No, you know what, I’m gonna ask. Why are you not hitting on the brat again?”

Dumbfounded, Dick sputtered: “Because—reasons!”

“What reasons?”

Jason sounded genuinely curious, and it felt like the kind of thing you shared with your brother, or maybe, a friend. The thought lifted Dick up enough to finally voice the thoughts in his head every night.

“He’s a lot younger than me.”

“Always knew you would turn into a cougar,” Jason teased, but there was nothing mean about it. “Seriously, Damian knows his own mind. He’s not underage, or even close to it. Somehow I don’t think you were attracted to him when he was a teen.”

Dick thought of Damian as a particularly gangly teenager and grimaced. “No.”

“Let me guess—realized one day that he’s a man now and boom, there were all these feelings?”

Dick smiled at him. “Was it like that for you and Tim?”

“Not really. I always saw him as an equal, even when I shouldn’t have,” Jason admitted.

Dick sometimes forgot that Jason was only four years older than Tim. When he’d come back from the dead, he’d been a grown man to Dick (and, he suspected, Bruce,) not a nineteen-year-old. Trying to kill everyone and start a criminal empire did that to you.

“You both got over that, though.”

“Yeah, I guess we did.” Was that a blush spreading over Jason’s cheeks?

It was funny. For all that he was encouraging Dick to open up to him, Jason didn’t seem all that used to talking about his own feelings.

“Anyway,” Jason deflected, “I know you fucked people much older than you, so that’s not the only reason. Neither are the murderous in-laws, though they frankly should be. So what’s holding you back?”

“He’s my brother. I know Bruce wanted me to be his brother.”

Jason considered the point. “Are you actually morally concerned, or is it mostly about not wanting to fail in Bruce’s eyes?”

“The latter,” Dick admitted. It was difficult to explain. He considered both Jason and Tim his brothers, yet ne he wasn’t bothered by them dating at all. With Damian, there was a strong feeling of loyalty, similar to that of a family member, but the love itself had changed. And theirs was a peculiar family, anyway. Roy had often joked that dating another vigilante was a little incestuous because of how small a group they were. Maybe it was no wonder that shit was all getting mixed up in his head.

So that was… fine. Weird, but fine. Dick could rationalize that to himself. But failing Bruce? Even after all these years, all those arguments, the thought still made him physically recoil.

Jason pinched the bridge of his nose. “I cannot believe I am saying this, but: There’s nothing you could do that would make that man love you any less.”

And Dick could see that hurt to admit, the ‘unlike me’ unspoken but present, so he joked weakly: “Oh, please, we all know Duke’s his favorite.”

Jason looked grateful, but he persisted: “I mean it, though. Why do you regard Damian as more Bruce’s son than the rest of you? Don’t tell me it’s the blood thing, because we both know that’s utter bullshit.”

Dick didn’t have an answer for that.

“You know there’s an easy way to settle this, right?” Jason asks when Dick didn’t speak. Throwing the blanket off, he got up and rooted through his suitcase. Dick watched as he pulled out his laptop and declared: “We’ll just call Bruce.”

Dick sat up in alarm. “You’re going to bother Bruce in the middle of a JL mission to ask about—this?”

Jason shrugged, though he couldn’t fool Dick. His neck muscles were tense. “Damian’s gonna kill me tomorrow anyway; I have nothing to lose.”

“Why would Damian kill you?” Dick felt very lost.

“No reason, Dickiebird, no reason.”

Dick decided to ignore that, and Jason’s amused tone, to focus on the important thing here. “We can’t call Bruce. He’s on another planet, and anyway, there’s no need—”

“Look, you want me to talk to him? I could ask him.”

Dick couldn’t think of a single less subtle thing for them to do. Bruce would know Dick was listening right away, and if not, as soon as he checked their mission log when he returned.

Maybe that was Jason’s point, though. Was he really going to keep hiding this?

Dick took a deep breath. “I’ll call.”

When Jason slid the laptop over to him, he looked almost proud.

It seemed like ages until the connection was set up. Finally, Batman’s familiar cowl appeared on the screen.

“Nightwing,” Bruce’s voice was crackly with static, but the concern was audible. “What happened?”

“Nothing bad,” Dick reassured him. “I hope. Just. Do you have a sec?”

Bruce looked torn. Dick saw Jason twitch and guessed he was tempted to interfere, to tell Bruce this was important. Pity that neither of them could be sure if that would help or hinder.

In the end, Bruce nodded.

It was, perhaps, a good thing Bruce seemed to be pressed for time. There was no way for Dick to prevaricate; he had to come straight out with it: “I think I’m in love with Damian.”

And then he held his breath as he waited for Bruce to lecture him.

Bruce didn’t miss a beat. “I trust you and have no reason to doubt your choice in partners. I trust Damian to know what he wants, too. Please don’t hold back on my account.” He paused. “Just… don’t tell me any details.”

It was a terrible joke, but Dick laughed nonetheless.

He couldn’t be sure, but there was a sound in the background that sounded like an explosion. Bruce looked away from the screen for a moment. “I have to go. Be safe.”

“Thank you,” Dick told him, sincerely.

Bruce shook his head. “Not for that.” The connection closed.

The room was quiet as Dick tried to digest the fact that one of his top ten fears (after, you know, everyone dying) had been laid to rest in the span of five minutes, just like that. What did you even say?

“That went better than expected,” he finally settled on. “Thank you.”

Jason shrugged. “Yeah, look, there are a few trauma points he can’t deal with it—” he pointed at himself, then shaped a gun with his fingers, “but he’s a detective. He knew and had plenty of time to chew it over. That speech was practiced to hell and back. You probably just released him from the misery of wondering how the fuck to bring it up with you.”

Dick chuckled. If it sounded a bit wet still, neither of them mentioned it.

“Also—I like the kid, I do,” Jason said, “but we’re all glad if he doesn’t end up with a civilian.”

It felt different, seeing Damian now that Dick was allowing himself to hope, to want. He had no idea if Damian would even be receptive, had never allowed himself to consider the notion before. When they all met in the cave after the mission had ended, Dick let himself smile at Damian openly, full of delight at being able to do so without wondering what would be caught on camera.

Damian didn’t smile back. He grabbed Dick by the arm, scowling, and told him: “We’re leaving.”

“What about the—” Jason began to ask, but Damian was already dragging Dick away.

Resistance seemed futile. He shot an apologetic glance at Jason, who waved him off, looking way too amused.

It was only when they were alone that Damian let go of Dick, glaring daggers at him and the world, but not speaking. Dick patiently waited him out. Damian would tell him what was eating him, or he wouldn’t. No prodding in the world would speed up the process.

“Why Todd,” Damian finally demanded to know.

Dick frowned. Apparently, Jason’s statement about him and Damian getting along hadn’t been truthful. Well, after all that Jason had done for him last night, and the weeks before that, he wasn’t going to just let Damian question his place. “He has proven himself an able and trustworthy partner on these missions.”

“I’m not talking about the mission,” Damian hissed.

“Then what—”

But now that he had begun, Damian wouldn’t stop talking. “I don’t understand. You were looking at me, and I thought maybe—finally—but then there was Todd, and I don’t want you to be in love with him. He’s going hurt you. What does he have that I don’t? Tell me and I will change it.”

Oh. Oh.

“Damian,” Dick couldn’t help but smile as he reached out to touch Damian’s arm, “I’m not in love with Jason. He’s with Tim.”

Dick hadn’t realized how tense Damian had been until that tension left him to be replaced with hope: “You’re not in love with Todd?”

“I’m not.”

Damian’s other hand rose to cover Dick’s. “Then—”

“Yes.” Dick knew his feelings must have been written all over his face. He didn’t care. “Yes.”

Damian made a sound like a sob and bend down to kiss him.

Dick’s plan: Test the waters. See if Damian was interested at all. Maybe start some slow romancing if there was hope.

Dick’s reality: He was swept away by the force of Damian’s kiss. It was unpracticed, to be sure, but there could be no doubts about the feelings behind it. Damian’s hand on his cheek spoke of devotion, his teeth on Dick’s lip of passion, and his eyes were on Dick’s the whole time, never once looking away.

It was being devoured, and Dick loved it.

And One Time He Wasn’t

Unsurprisingly, Dick didn’t get to do much work that day. Or the next. When they finally emerged from their rooms to debrief with Tim and Jason, he was feeling stiff and bruised in the best of ways. To his surprise, Damian pulled him close as they walked, his hand heavy on Dick’s hip. Dick melted into him, pulling him close in turn.

Now that he had it, Dick didn’t know how he could have denied the two of them this feeling for so long.

Thus tightly wound, they entered the cave—and stopped. It took a second for the image to sink in: Jason was sitting in Tim’s lap, their fingers linked in front of his stomach.

Like so many things with those two, it should’ve been funny—Tim was by no means tiny, but he was considerably smaller than Jason. Instead, it looked right.

Jason grinned at him. “So. We’re together now.”

Dick, still high on the events of the last day, said: “Oh, how nice.” Then: “Wait, you weren’t before?”

Tim groaned and hid his face in Jason’s back, only the red of his ears still visible. Jason, however, didn’t look embarrassed at all, just distinctly unimpressed. “Dick. Are you telling me these two geniuses thought the two of us were dating, while you thought I was already dating Tim?”

Dick blinked. “Tim thought that too?”

“That’s it,” Jason said, “I’m revoking your detective licenses. All of you.”

#elareine writes #damidick #jaytim #all credit for jason sitting in tim's lap goes to scott who comes up with the best things

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knifeonmars · 5 years ago

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Capsule Reviews - May 2020 - The Cape Stuff

I read a lot of comics in May. Here’s what I thought of some of the superhero and superhero-adjacent comics I read.

Arms of the Octopus

A nostalgia pick, the collection of several annual issues containing a crossover between Superior Spider-Man, The Invincible Hulk, and the All-New X-Men. It is an artifact of a very specific and bizarre time in Marvel Comics, when Doc Ock was Spider-Man, the Hulk worked for SHIELD, and the original five teen X-Men were stranded in their own future. For a pure, relatively straightforward crossover romp, it's quite enjoyable. Spider-Man is a jerk, the Hulk fights a robot, the X-Men are befuddled by the present, all of the major beats for that particular moment in the Marvel Universe are there, and it's got some really great art. Jake Wyatt, during his regrettably short-lived stint with Marvel and the great Kris Anka unfortunately overshadow the other contributors, but it's all very good, if not the most accessible comic.

Maxwell's Demons

I came to Maxwell's Demons having heard a lot of critical buzz and with my expectations set rather high. I did not care for this book at all. Ambitious is the best word for this series, and that's not a bad thing. It's got ideas, about the craft, about the genre, about philosophy in general. It never quite manages to carry things off though; it's not as smart as it wants to be, and the high-minded ideas are never incorporated in particularly elegant ways. Three of the story's five chapters are essentially extended monologues in which the main character rambles on about some glorified shower thought for 20-plus pages. The first and second chapters are the exceptions to this pattern, and are quite solid as far as pointedly derivative superhero riffs go, even if the second chapter's riff on "What if Miracleman #17 was significantly less intelligent" is more than a little shameless in its lack of originality. The fourth chapter, by contrast, is the nadir of the series, easily the most embarrassing Manic Pixie Dream Girl tripe I've seen played straight in literal years. I'm reminded a lot of Translucid, another superhero pastiche, which essentially sought to do for Batman what Maxwell's Demons seeks to do for Lex Luthor. I warmed to Translucid significantly on my second read and I wonder if the same will end up being true for Maxwell's Demons, but I find that Translucid simply did a better job of incorporating original ideas and stating its themes in ways less stupefyingly clunky than Maxwell's Demon's ever manages. I hate to call a book pretentious, especially an ambitious one, but at present that's how I feel about this book.

Twilight

Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and Howard Chaykin's Watchmen-for-mid-century-space-heroes epic. It's good. Fabulous art, some really interesting ideas and a great premise. It's also more than a little Chaykin-y, with most of the male characters having fraught but amiable relationships with their much-too-good-for-them-and-they-both-know-it ex-wives. It has this particular brand of low grade misogyny that idealizes women but in doing so denies them interiority and, ultimately, humanity. Leaving that aside, though it is a major point to leave aside, it’s story of humanity rotting over eons of immortality, mad space gods, and humanity’s proclivity towards colonialism and genocide, it's great. It’s not an altogether pleasant book, it can be nasty and strange, in ways both intentional and unintentional, but it’s original and engaging and decidedly well made. Something of an overlooked classic of that era’s DC output.

Green Lantern: Earth One

Literally the only one of DC's Earth One graphic novels that's worth a damn. Where most of the other Earth One books choose to start things off in a world resembling our own, Green Lantern starts off in a scifi future resembling something along the lines of Ad Astra or The Expanse, with Earth controlled by an only alluded to totalitarian government, humanity colonizing and mining the solar system, and Hal Jordan as a spacefaring roughneck who dreads the prospect of returning to Earth. Earth One is the rare Green Lantern story that manages to make Earth as interesting as the rest of the universe. The bulk of the action leaves this behind to focus on unearth the lost legacy of the Green Lanterns and refits their mythology in a clean way which will be unsurprising for anyone with a passing familiarity with the original comics but is still satisfying ad fresh. Fabulous art, fun take on the mythology, I'm left both wanting more and being satisfied with what we got.

Spider-Man: Life Story

In a just world, Chip Zdarksy, one of Marvel’s best writers these days, would be writing both Spider-Man and Fantastic Four, instead of having been relegated to shortlived spinoffs. Because life just isn’t fair sometimes, instead he was given this admittedly ambitious project, his all-encompassing take on the Spider-Man story as played out in real time. In the end it’s bold and engaging, but more than a little clipped in execution. Each issue is a snippet of Peter Parker's life as we catch up to him in a new decade so readers only get a quick glimpse of the action and are left to fill in the substantial gaps by drawing on our knowledge of continuity. The obvious comparison is John Byrne's Superman/Batman: Generations, but where that story really only took the broad strokes of those characters' continuity into account in writing its decades spanning story, Spider-Man: Life Story is dedicated to the remixing of Spider-Man's publishing canon. So it can’t just take an archetypal view of Spider-Man and play that out to its logical conclusion, instead it’s stuck trying to incorporate version of prominent Spider-Man stories like Kraven's Last Hunt, Venom, and Civil War. The result means that there’s a ton of exposition in each issue, and frequent use of shorthand to gloss over things which have happened since the previous issue, and it never manages to explore the series’ original ideas in detail. Also, I'll die mad that Michel Fiffe, the genius behind COPRA and one of my favorite cartoonists, public pitched basically this exact story a year or so before this project was announced, and even if Marvel didn't actually steal the idea, I'll forever pine for Fiffe's take on this premise.

Star Wars: The Crimson Empire Saga

Long before the Disney's take on Star Wars, with their codified takes on the mythology and careful curation of the franchise, there was the old Star Wars Expanded Universe, where seemingly anyone could tell any story they wanted using the mythology of Star Wars. While it resulted in some good stuff, like Timothy Zahn's fondly remembered Thrawn books, the vast majority of it was workmanlike or even bad. Crimson Empire falls firmly into the category of bad, a dumber than dirt story about an extremely cool space guy and his code of honor. It's the kind of story where multiple characters say "He's just one man!" right before or right after seeing their legion of anonymous flunkies getting demolished by the hero. It's got an inexplicable and bad love story. In the three miniseries collected here it spends about two pages total dealing with the idea that maybe, just maybe, the fact that it's main character is dedicated to the lost honor of Emperor Palpatine, a space fascist, maybe his code of honor is completely fucked. Of those three miniseries, only the first story is anywhere near something that could be called good. I wouldn’t called Crimson Empire utterly abysmal, but it’s not unironically good. If the name Kyle Katarn means anything to you, you might get something out of this as a nostalgia trip, but otherwise it has no redeeming qualities.

Deathstroke: Legacy

The first of the New 52 Deathstroke stories, which was never well regarded until Christopher Priest took it over with Deathstroke: Rebirth, I was driven to read this by a conceptual fondness for this era's Deathstroke basically looking and acting like an action figure. Through that lens, it's quite enjoyable. It's not as obviously in on the joke in the way that the classic Taskmaster: Unthinkable is, but it's over the top, has fun designs and baddies, and Joe Bennett (years before his career best heights in Immortal Hulk) provides consistently good art. As a pure action comic, it's good.

Wolverine MAX: Permanent Rage

Here's the thing about Wolverine: There are very few good Wolverine solo stories. Wolverine is a genuinely good character, but most of his solo stories are dumb action affairs, and there's literally never been a Wolverine comic that's even halfway as good as the Logan movie. Permanent Rage, the first storyline from the Wolverine MAX series though, is actually pretty decent. It plays out a lot like you might imagine a Wolverine movie made around 2004, with no superheroes, a Japanese setting that allows for some distracting orientalism, unrelenting violence, and a noir-inspired storyline. The present day storyline is all well and good, not great, but solid and relatively low-key, but what makes the book is the presence of Sabretooth as the main villain. His relationship with Wolverine, fleshed out through flashbacks drawn by some really talented artists, is probably one of the best takes on that relationship that Marvel has ever put out. The casting of Wolverine and Sabretooth as two lonely immortals, bound together by hate and the knowledge that they are each other's only true companions, absolutely makes this book. Is it great? No, but it's got enough interesting things going on that fans of dark superheroes stories would probably find something to enjoy. Subsequent volumes of Wolverine MAX moved even further from the character’s superhero trappings and supporting characters, which is a pity, but this one remains readable and enjoyable on its own.

Marshal Law Omnibus

A collection all of the non-licensed and non-text-only Marshal Law stories. It's weird, it's punk, it's violent, it's sick of superheroes but self-aware about it own silliness in a way that Garth Ennis' work like The Boys has never been (Incidentally, the fifth story contained here, Super Babylon, is just every self-righteous complaint Ennis made about superheroes in The Boys but presented with a modicum of good humor). It's quite fun as a mean-spirited anti-superhero romp, but anyone who is particularly invested in the moral rectitude of, like, the Flash, might find it an unpleasant read so I would advise avoiding it if that's you. It's also not perfect, even for what it is: it's approach to sex work and kink is very dated, it relies on sexual violence a little too much, and by the time you get to the final story, Secret Tribunal, it's come to revel in its previously ironic fascist and misogynist imagery and characters just a little too much. The third installment, Kingdom of the Blind, is for my money, the strongest of the lot, featuring both the most straightforward premise and the most incisive satire the collection has to offer.

#capsule reviews #words

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