#then years later shows up at your window and throws you in his trunk and asks you to help him with his problems
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wraithsoutlaws · 2 years ago
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I'm curious. Is there anything about Dagger that you haven't really gotten the chance to tell a lot of people but would really like to share? Anyways, just wanted to let you know I always enjoy having Dagger on my dashboard and that he's a fun an interesting character :). Hope you have a nice day!
hey!!! thank you so much this made me so happy!! i'm really glad you like him ahhH. i know you sent this a few days back and i'm so sorry it took me so long, ive been dealing with Brain Won't Work disease but i am always happy to talk about him and this really means a lot to me <3
hm okay so some time after things go bad between him and Maelstrom (and the Wraiths) he isolates for a while, in a pretty bad/paranoid state. he's essentially hunted by Wraiths, with a reward for his capture and it ends with him being run into the NCPD instead. he gets arrested but winds up in a psychiatric hospital where he goes to therapy and gets much needed help :) except he hates it, and part of his therapy is watching BD's, harmless ones that allow him to feel all the emotions he's repressed his whole life, like genuine happiness but also grief. Hes very miserable despite having a certain rapport with his therapist. He eventually plots a mass escape, releases all the patients, kills a lot of people in the process, then forces his therapist to watch the XBD's he'd made in the past (where he kills people :)) as revenge. years later, he'll go back to that therapist (abducts him) and seek genuine help so it's actually a nice story :)
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ninii-winchester · 5 months ago
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Unveiled Sorrows (Part 6)
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Pairings : Dean Winchester X Reader, Sam Winchester X Reader (platonic), Dean Winchester X Lisa Braden (mentioned)
Word count: 4.4k
Warnings : angst, so much angst grab your tissues pls, spoilers s1-s6, violence, language, mentions of Djinn. Sam has his soul.
A/n : This series follows canon plot line but some scenes might happen differently or be completely changed. Check the warnings for each part before continuing.
I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.
Sam had been acting strange for the past two days and it wasn't sitting right with Y/n or Bobby. He was anxious, paranoid and jumpy. He acted like someone was out to get to him. And then suddenly Y/n started acting strange too. It was as if the two of them had been going crazy, which scared Bobby and Samuel. Truth is, someone was actually after the two.
"Bobby I swear there was a werewolf in the yard." Y/n panicked holding Adeline to her chest.
"Have you gone mad? Werewolves appear on full moon and at night. It's the middle of the day." Bobby replied throwing his hands in the air.
"Sammy cmon you have to believe me." She turned to her best friend. Sam stood still with his arms crossed against his chest. A knock on the door was heard and Y/n jumped in her place clutching Adeline even more firmly. Sam went to see and came back with Samuel, Christian trailing behind him.
"Anything?" Bobby asked Samuel.
"You two ever run into a Djinn?" Christian asked Sam and Y/n. Sam raised his brow at the question.
"Yeah, a few years back. He took Dean, we had to kill it." Y/n replied flatly.
"It's Djinns that are after you two. Didn't know why they were but now it makes sense. They're here for revenge." Samuel told them.
"Wait what?" Y/n asked. "Why haven't they attacked out front."
"It's easier. The things you two are seeing aren't real. It's them messing around with your heads. And soon enough you two will go insane and kill yourself." Samuel explained.
"What?" The two exclaimed.
"Well luckily for you, we have found an antidote." Christian said showing them a syringe filled with white liquid. "But we have to kill them before they come for you again."
"I'll have it first. Can't be too sure until we've tried." Sam says looking at his grandfather.
"Sammy no." Y/n stopped him.
"Y/n, respectfully. Shut up." Sam replied and then nodded towards Christian who injected him with the liquid.
"Do you feel anything Sam?" Bobby asked.
Suddenly, y/n screamed. Bobby immediately took Adeline from her arms as she backed up against the wall. her breathing laboured as she saw Azaezel in front of her. Her eyes widened, she knew it wasn't real and it was the Djinns doing but she couldn't help but choke as 'Azaezel' grabbed her by her neck. She felt herself being thrown towards a heap of books. The men watched as she was slammed against the window, the glass shattered with loud noise, she groaned at the impact.
"We can't wait Sam, she'll kill herself." Samuel said getting worried.
Sam nodded and Christian went to tranquillise her but she resisted, Sam grabbed her tightly and Christian stabbed y/n with the needle, injecting the liquid and right then she stopped moving completely. A few seconds later she opened her eyes and Sam sighed in relief. The two looked at each other when realisation dawned upon them.
"DEAN."
Dean hadn’t slept well since the night he saw her. She was plaguing his mind whether he was awake or asleep. Every time he would close his eyes he'd see her face, hear her voice. Now it's gotten to the point where he sees her when he's awake. It's like he's hallucinating. Then the appearance of the claw marks all over the neighbourhood. He assumed she might be here to hunt whatever is out here but he hasn't heard of a single death in the area. Not even a missing person's report.
He ought to check. He went to the garage of the house he shares with Lisa. He opened the trunk of the Impala and grabbed his gun. He felt a presence behind him and felt someone throwing him against the garage wall. He watched as Azaezel walked closer to him. Blood trickled down Dean's forehead.
"This isn't possible, i killed you. I shot you with the Colt." Dean said.
"Did you Dean? You might have but you didn't succeed. You can't ever do anything right Dean. You let Sam die. You couldn't save him. Your precious Y/n oh i wonder how she's doing." Dean growled as he heard him say her name. Azaezel grabbed Dean and bashed his head against the wall. The next thing he knew, everything thing went black.
When Dean came back to consciousness, he blinked slowly trying to adjust his eyes to the lighting. He gasped when he saw Sam sitting in front of me.
"Sam?" Dean asked sitting up.
"Yeah it's me." Sam said cutting his arm with a silver knife, showing Dean that he's in-fact Sam. Dean stood up and pulled Sam in a tight hug. "I expected a lot more scepticism." Sam joked as he hugged him back.
"How?" Dean questioned looking at Sam, still not believing he's here.
"I don't know." Sam shrugged. "I've researched for weeks i have no clue how i am back."
"Weeks? How long have you been back?"
"Almost a year, now!"
"You've been back for a year and you didn't come to me? What are you doing here now?" Dean snapped.
"Dean I wanted you to be happy and i knew you were happy here so I didn't bother you. You've always wanted all this." Sam replied.
"I only wanted my brother, alive." Dean replied pacing the room. "What have you been doing all this time?"
"Hunting!"
"With other people?"
"They're...more like family." Sam replied. "Look, I didn't want to come here but I had to, the things you were seeing weren't real. It was the Djinns, they came after us and I knew it was a matter of time they came after you." Sam explained.
"Us?" Dean questioned.
"Y/n and I." Sam replied. Dean stayed silent.
"So she's your only family now? You've been hunting with her?" Dean said with an edge to his voice.
"No Dean, y/n doesn't hunt and I'm not talking about her."
"Don't lie to me Sam, I saw her a few days back, heard her talking about a Vampire hunt."
"That was the only hunt she went on over the past year." Sam replied.
"Where've you been living? Bet its with this family of yours?"
"You might want to come with me."
Sam took Dean to the place where Samuel and the Campbell's lived. Gemma, Will, Gwen, Christian and Mark introduced themselves to Dean. He recognised Gemma and Will from the bar.
"Campbells as in..." Dean trailed off looking at Sam, not mentioning the fact that's met Will and Gemma.
"Mom's relatives." Sam confirmed.
"Dean." A voice called out and he turned to see his grandfather who was supposed to be dead. He looked like he had seen a ghost which is ironic considering he hunted them.
"Samuel?" Dean said walking towards him. The older man pulled his grandson in his embrace. Dean's face showed pure confusion.
"Whatever pulled Sam up, pulled me down as well. Who or why, we don't know." Samuel told Dean. And the latter nodded in understanding.
The group of hunters was now discussing their plan of action to defeat the Djinns. Dean clearly stated that he has no intention of coming back to the business, he just wants to keep Lisa and Ben. Speaking of,
"Lisa and Ben!" Dean exclaimed. "Sam you have to take me home, those Djinns know where I live, they could harm them." Sam nodded in understanding and took Dean back to his house.
Dean rushed the house and called out for Lisa. When he got no answer he grew anxious, he ran all over the house trying to find them. The front door opened and Lisa and Ben walked in. Dean immediately pulled them in his embrace sighing in relief.
Sam's jaw clenched as he watched Dean place a kiss on their heads. The way he was caring for Lisa and her kid like his own, oblivious to the fact that he has a biological daughter who deserves the same affection and love from her father.
"We need to get them out of here and somewhere safe." Dean said looking at Sam.
"Yeah we'll get them to-"
"Bobby's." Dean interrupted Sam.
"Dean, I don't think that's a good idea. We'll get them to Samuel's."
"Sam no offence but I don't trust anyone else except you and Bobby. And we're going to Bobby's, that's final." Dean stated leaving no room for argument.
It was a rare occurrence when Y/n was happy, like genuinely happy and today was one of those days. She's been trying for while to get Adeline to sit up on her own without any back support or falling back. And today the little baby sat on her own for a few seconda before plopping back on heap of pillows behind her.
"Bobby did you see that?" Y/  asked excitedly, a huge smile gracing her lips. The old man nodded, his expressions mirroring her own. "I can't wait for Sam to come home and see this. He's going to be ecstatic." She smiled.
Y/n thought had she asked for something else she would've gotten because the moment she said that, she heard the sound of Sam's car's horn thrice. He always did that, it was their secret code of sorts. Y/n picked up Adeline from where she was laying and excitedly made her way towards the front door, she heard the car door slam shut more than once indicating Sam brought company.
"See baby Uncle Sammy is hom-" She opened the door and her words got stuck inside as saw the company Sam brought.
Her gaze moved from Sam to Dean and then stopped on Lisa and Ben. None of them spoke a word. Dean's eyes dropped to the little baby in Y/n's arms and his heart dropped to the deepest pit of his stomach. He felt like couldn't breath. The baby looked like an exact copy of him.
"You promised, Winchester." Y/n's gaze turned to Sam who at least looked apologetic but she felt betrayed. She moved her arm behind her back and retrieved her gun from the back of her jeans.
"Y/n look i can explain.." Sam stuttered and she turn the safety off, of the gun. "Wait you can't shoot, Adeline's ears are sensitive." Sam said holding his hands in the air.
Sam's words broke Dean out of his trance, Adeline's ears. Adeline. Adeline. Adeline. It kept ringing in his ears when it clicked. Thats she name she told him at the bar.
"That's why I have a silencer on my gun." And with she shot Sam in the arm. He groaned as the bullet pierced him. Lisa and Ben flinched and Dean rushed to his brother's side still not believing she actually shot him. "I wish I had it in me to put a bullet in your head." She told Sam before turning her attention to the other two people.
"Hi Lisa. How've you been?" She said.  "Hey Ben, remember me?" She smiled at the boy.
"I'm good." Lisa said even more shaken up at this point.
"You're y/n. You saved me from that monster." Ben said happily.
"I sure did." She wrapped her other arm which was not holding Adeline around Ben's shoulder. "You've grown, kiddo." She told him bringing him inside, Lisa followed behind.
Dean helped Sam inside as all of them settled into the main room. Bobby looked at Dean and froze but then jumped into action as he saw Sam's profusely bleeding arm.
"What happened to him?" He asked Dean and Dean eyed Y/n. His gaze again settled on the child in her arms.
"Uh I had it coming." Sam groaned as Bobby cleaned his wound and patched him up.
An awkward silence fell into the room as nobody knew what to say. And Y/n took it upon herself to break the tension.
"I'm assuming we were right about the Djinn? Him going after Dean." She asked and Sam nodded.
"Yeah i barely reached there in time." He grunted sitting in the desk chair. "We had to bring them to somewhere safe and this is safest place we know." Sam looked at Y/n hoping she'd understand why he brought them here. He added 'we' hoping she'd know it wasn't his decision.
"Alright, since we've got no leads on the Djinns at the moment its safe to say you'll be here for a while." Y/n said to Lisa. "I think we've got enough rooms."
Bobby told the group he'd get Lisa and Ben to help settle in and show them to their room, he felt like the tension in the air would suffocate him to death so he opted out. Y/n cradled the little girl who was on the verge of falling asleep. She made her way to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of beer with some painkillers. Dean couldn't keep his eyes off of her or the baby. He followed her every moment and watched as she handed the pills and beer to Sam.
"I'm glad you know you had it coming." She patted his good arm. He chuckled shaking his head. "I'll arrange some food." Y/n said leaving the room. She laid Adeline in the crib in her room and made her way into the kitchen.
Sam avoided looking at Dean and the older Winchester was shooting glares at his brother. Dean was angry, sad, disappointed and heartbroken. He finds out that his brother has been alive for a whole year and he apparently has a daughter too. He couldn't take it any longer and rushed out the back door to clear his head. Sam followed behind him.
"Dean wait." He called out.
"She's mine, isn't she?" Dean stopped and turned to face Sam who looked away. "Dammit Sam answer me."
"Yeah." Sam replied.
"And you've known all this time?"
"I did but-"
"But what Sammy?" Dean yelled. "What could you possibly say to make it better? My brother who I thought was dead has been here the whole time, and now i find that I have a daughter, who I had no idea existed until this day?" Tears were pooling in Dean's eyes and he didn't care at this point.
"I told you Dean I didn't want to ruin what you have. And as for Addy," Sam sighed. "I didn't even know it happened between you two. Y/n said it happened once and it was mistake."
"She said what?" Dean recoiled. "It wasn't a mistake and it certainly didn't happen only once." He growled, now his grief turning into anger.
"What?" Sam exclaimed.
"Why didn't you tell me Sam? I could've had what I so desperately wanted." Dean cried, hurt that his brother kept such a huge secret from him.
"She made me promise not to tell you." Sam confessed.
"Why?"
"I don't know, when I came back she asked her if I met you and I told her I did see you but you were with Lisa and I didn't want to ruin that. When she told me she was pregnant and it's yours I told her to tell you but she told me that you deserve to have a normal life with the woman you love and not some...." Sam paused not whether to continue or not.
"Some what Sam?"
"Some good lay and..a child made out of it." Sam whispered lowly, he wasn't even sure if Dean heard him. This broke Dean's heart and he wasn't sure if he could ever piece it back together.
"That woman is a not some good lay, she's the love of my life, Sam. I was pathetically in love with her. I still am." Dean said with his head in his hands.
"You told her the world doesn't revolves around her."
"I know what I said, damn it. I just wanted her to be safe. I knew she wouldn't have left had I not told her all that. I thought if our plan was to fail, at-least she'd be away from all this. She'd be safe. And if it went well, I would go back to her, tell her everything and keep her safe with me until my last breath. But you made me promise. I kept my promise and I left and I never looked back." Dean breathed heavily.
"Dean... I had no idea. I am so sorry. I wish I hadn't... God this is all my fault, I have to make this right." Sam blamed himself and that's the last thing Dean wanted.
"It's not your fault Sam. You just wanted to die in peace." Dean made a failed attempt to ease the tension.
Y/n was in the kitchen when she heard someone clear their throat. She turned to see Lisa standing in the doorway.
"I hope Ben like sandwiches, I don't know much cooking." She said as she placed the ingredients on the counter.
"He likes them.." Lisa said joining to help her with the preparations.
"I can see why he loves you." Y/n said as she watched Lisa work effortlessly and still look amazing.
"Yeah but he's in love with you." She replied without looking at her.
"Rubbish." Y/n waved her off with her hand. "I think you're still tired from the long drive."
"It's the truth. I've lived with Dean for a year now, you're his waking thought and his dream." Lisa said softly. "I think i know more about you than you know yourself." The woman added with a smile.
"Don't you love him?" Y/n bit her lip. Her asking this question was showing a sign that she still cared about Dean as much as she shouldn't.
"He's a dear friend." Lisa replied vaguely. Loud footsteps were heard as Ben entered the kitchen looking for his mom.
Sam and Dean came back inside and Dean locked eyes with y/n for the first time since he came here. He wants to hate her for keeping his daughter a secret from him but one look at her and he's a puddle, willing to do anything she wants him to do.
"We need to talk." Dean said to y/n.
"I believe there is nothing to talk." Y/n replied without wavering.
"Its your choice, you talk to me while I'm asking nicely or I drag you out, because we're talking either way." Dean said keeping eye contact.
"You watch how you speak to me, Winchester. My gun still has five bullets." She replied. She knew she had to have this conversation at any point in her life, she was hoping she had more time. She let out a loud sigh before speaking, "Ben, honey can you go up and watch Adeline for me?" She asked the eleven year old boy. And he nodded happily running upstairs.
"Now you talk." Y/n ordered Dean, who turned around and walked to the main room. She rolled her eyes and followed him. "I don't have time for your bullshit so if you could get on with it before Adeline wakes up, I'd appreciate it." She snapped as he kept his back to her.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He turned to her, his face red.
"Tell you what?"
"About our daughter! Don't act dumb."
"She's my daughter." Y/n sneered. Sam and Lisa watched from the side. "Why do you even care? You didn't care a year ago."
"I.. how can you even say that. She's my daughter too. You had no right to keep her from me."
"Yeah right." Y/n scoffed. "What did you want to me do, Dean? After you pushed me away time and time again. Did you expect me to get on my knees and beg you to stay?" She said raising her voice. "You left. You left when I needed you the most." She felt a lump forming in her throat and she knew the waterworks were on the way. "You left me at the cemetery without a word. How do you think it made me feel?"
"I'm sorry i left, had you told me about Adeline I would've never..-"
"I don't need your pity, Dean. Nor does my daughter." She yelled. "You had a choice. And you left." She felt a tear drop down her cheek as much as she hated to cry in-front of him she couldn't hold it in.
At that moment Dean hated himself. He never knew he could be this weak. He watched Y/n look so broken, exhausted. It was as if sadness has etched itself on her face permanently.
"Cas told me I was pregnant when we got back from Carthage." Dean's eyes widened as the revelation. "That's why I asked to sit out when you guys decided to hit the road. I thought I'd tell you when you'd come back. But when you did you said awful things to me, Dean. It broke my heart." She gasped taking in a deep breath as cried. "I knew it was a hard time for us with everything happening. When I arrived at Detroit I thought maybe, just maybe things could be different but..." She didn't continue, everyone knows what happened in Detroit.
"I'm sorry, you have to believe me when I say I would've stayed.." Dean's eyes watered.
"Sorry doesn't cut it, Dean. I was scared, every night I was scared for my daughter's life because I didn't have the luxury to sleep peacefully and pretend that's nothing out there. Even the rustling of leaves would wake me up at night." She cried.
"I wish i could turn back time, i would do it a heartbeat. You know that." He cried. He knows he doesn't have the right to feel bad about himself but he couldn't help it.
"I'd do it too. If i could turn back time I'd do it and never associate myself with you."
"You don't mean that." Dean whispered, his voice almost begging her to take it back.
"I do." She looked him in the eye, even though her vision was blurred. "Even for a second if we forget that Addy exists, you left me when I needed you the most. My best friend jumped into the pit and I felt like my heart had been ripped out from my chest." She was now full on sobbing. "I needed you. I knew nobody could've understood what I felt except you. I dug the ground with my hands until my fingers bled hoping the cage was still there and Sam would come out." She cried holding her hand to her heart as if it pained her physically. "I just wanted you to hold me tell me it'd be alright. We'll figure something out like we always do."
If anyone of them wasn't crying before they were now. They hadn't realised she'd been through so much pain. She's suffered and she was carrying a child. She held on for so long. Lisa's heart ached for the sobbing woman in front of her.
"Y/n." Sam spoke having enough. He needs to clear this out. He can't watch them fight knowing it wasn't any of their fault but his'. "It's my fault."
"Sammy." Dean warned sternly.
"No Dean. It was my fault. Let me do this." Sam replied.
"What do you mean?" Y/n asked looking at Sam.
"After you left I asked Dean to promise that he won't find you. I told him to go live with Lisa." Sam stated.
"Why would you even say that?" She whispered.
"Because i knew if you two had been with each other you'd just find a way to bring me back. Even worse make deals with demons or shit." Sam said holding his head down. "It wasn't his fault y/n, if I'd known he loved you i would've never asked him to leave."
"Dean doesn't love anyone but you." Y/n scoffed and that irked Dean. He could listen to her say the worst things about him but doubting his love for her wasn't something he'd take queitly. He took a few steps towards her and grabbed her arm making her look at him.
"Why're you talking about me as if I'm not here? And how dare you say that?" He growled. "How dare you say I don't love you. You're the only woman I've ever been in love with." He said pulling her closer.
"Some way you've got to show it." She scoffed pulling her arm away. "Alright I agree Sam was in the wrong but you don't get to put the blame on him completely. You took the easy way out."
"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" Dean asked, his face contorted in anger.
"Oh please, don't be so naive now." She gritted her teeth. "You're acting like you didn't have a choice."
"I didn't..- " Dean started but she interrupted him.
"You were Michael's vessel Dean, you were destined to be a part of that war. You fought tooth and nail, you told the literal angels to shove it up their ass, that you'd never say yes. YOU FOUGHT DESTINY AND YOU'RE SAYING YOU DIDN’T HAVE A CHOICE?" She yelled having enough of his excuses.
Dean knew she was right. There was nothing she said that wasn't true. But he had been scared. Whoever he gets close to gets hurt. He never wanted any of this to happen. If only he had manned up and told everyone how he felt, alot this could've been avoided.
Y/n felt betrayed. Not only by Dean but Sam as well. All her life the only people she considered her family, betrayed her in every way possible. She wondered has she been naive or they were just too good at using people? If Dean loved her as much as he said he did, then why didn't he stay. Heavy footsteps and loud cries filled y/n's ears.
"Y/n, she woke up and started crying." Ben said carrying little Adeline to her mother.
"Thank you for looking after her, sweetheart." She said wiping her tears and taking her baby into her arms. Adeline stopped crying once she was in her mother's arms.
"Are you okay?" Ben asked, oblivious to the tension in the room, standing beside his mother.
"I'm okay." She replied. "Just realised I spent my whole life loving and caring for the Winchesters only to be betrayed by them." She whispered lowly that only the adults could comprehend. She held Adeline up and looked at her face. "I'll have to wait for yours too, it's only a matter of time you do. After all you're a Winchester too." She smiled sadly, breaking Sam and Dean's heart along with her own.
Tags:
@spnfamily-j2 @galway-girlatwork @deangirl96 @queensilber
@s0urw00lf @monkey-d-hoshizora98 @deans-baby-momma @fullbelieverheart @hobby27
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imaginejamesandsirius · 11 months ago
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Heyyy! here’s a prompt: James and Sirius are tired of constantly turning people down and watching their food for Amortentia or any variation of it so they decide to pretend to be gay and in love. Please make them get together for real in the end :)))
((Note: This fic was written by starlitmusings our newest author! It's ~9k, so you can read below, or on her AO3))
Early morning light filters through the thin curtains of the sixth-year boys’ dormitory, bathing the room with a soft golden hue. James, whose bed is closest to the window, stretches lazily and looks over to the sleeping boy curled next to him.
“Pads,” he whispers. There’s a stray lock of hair falling across his friend’s face, and James has the strange but familiar urge to tuck it in behind his ear and—
And what? Ruin the relationship you have with the most important person in your life?  James dispels the thought with the ease of someone who’s had to do it many times before. “Pads,” he says again, giving him a gentle push. “Wake up, we’ll be late. The others will hog the loo if we don’t get up first.”
Sirius stirs, feels the light on the exposed parts of his body, and promptly locks his legs around James. He blindly finds the crook of James’ neck and buries his face into it with a mumbled, “Don’t want to. ‘M comfy.”
James resists the urge to laugh and instead jams a finger into his shoulder. 
“Ow! Bloody hell, you fucking traitor,” Sirius yelps as he pulls away from James. He sits up slowly and stretches with a yawn, and James finds his gaze drawn to the way the light hits the hard, Quidditch-toned planes of Sirius’ bare chest and arms. 
“I can’t skive off of classes anymore, Sirius, you know that. Besides, you need time to get your hair care routine in or you’ll be a brat all day,” James replies once he wills his eyes to look anywhere but his half-naked friend. The friend that’s half-naked on his bed, his brain promptly supplies, and James mentally kicks himself for the thought.
“Stupid Dumbledore and his stupid decision to make you the stupid Head Boy,” Sirius grumbles. “And I don’t even have a bloody hair care routine, Jamie, you should know that the generational inbreeding took care of that.”
James laughs, trying not to show just how much he agrees with Sirius’ words and heads over to the bathroom with Sirius hot on his heels despite his muttered complaints. Not five minutes, later, Remus and Peter are barging in and kicking them out for taking too long, and James throws Sirius a smug I-told-you-so grin. Sirius rolls his eyes. 
As they’re pulling on their uniforms, Sirius approaches James with an uncharacteristic hesitation. “Prongs,” he begins. “We’re mates, right?”
James nods. “Obviously.” 
“I was thinking, we always share a bed, right?” 
“Right,” James says slowly, unsure of where this is heading.
“And are constantly with each other and want to be near each other, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“So I was thinking—” he’s cut off by the bathroom door slamming open and Remus coming out.
“Morning,” he greets them. “Have you seen my sweater? The one with—”
“In my trunk,” James interrupts. Remus pulls it out with a triumphant grin and pecks James on the cheek. “I need to leave a little early to talk to Minnie about my last essay,” he says as he rushes out the door. “See you at breakfast.” 
There’s silence for a minute before Peter rushes out similarly to Remus just had. Finally free of their dormmates, James turns to Sirius with a raised eyebrow. Go on.  
“Y’know how there’s a Hogsmeade weekend coming up?”
“Sure, so?”
“Well, I was thinking that I’d rather not be accosted by a bunch of people asking for a date when we’re not interested. So let’s pretend we’re dating.”
James blinks, stares, and blinks again. “Come again?”
Sirius sighs, his fingers fiddling with the hems of his sleeves. James thinks he sees the beginning of a light blush on his cheeks, but he also thinks Sirius just said he wants to date him so his mental facilities were clearly malfunctioning. Until Sirius repeats, more slowly this time, “Let’s pretend we’re dating.”
He had heard Sirius loud and clear the first time, but he still can't believe what he’s hearing. He’s not nearly awake or caffeinated enough to handle the love of his life asking him out. Never mind that Sirius wants it to be fake, whatever that means. 
“Um,” he starts. “Wait, what exactly do you—”
“Oh, for Merlin’s sake, Jamie,” Sirius says exasperatedly. “I want you to pretend to be my boyfriend to stop random people from confessing to me. Last week a bloke sent a dwarf to sing me a poem about how he’s going to drink a potion to spontaneously create himself a vagina so I can put babies in him. Like, what the fuck, no thank you.”
“You…didn’t tell me that,” James says, wide-eyed with a mixture of horror and awe. Before he can filter his words — though Merlin knows is his brain is capable of that now — he blurts out, “I’ll do it, obviously, but why me?”
“You know what everyone says, we’re basically a married couple already. Nobody else can make it convincing enough. You’re the best candidate.”
“And Remus can’t because…?”
“You know he’s got his eyes on Regulus.” Sirius scrunches his nose and makes a disgusted sound. “Which is, like, wrong on so many levels I wouldn’t even know where to begin."
James lets out a stangled laugh. “Okay, I get it. But why me, and you know, not someone you actually want to ask out?”
“If I wanted to ask someone out, I wouldn’t be having this problem, now would I?” Sirius retorts. “Besides, you were complaining after Potions the other day about how you caught some girls sneaking Amortentia to slip into our drinks. I was thinking, this way we both benefit and it’s not as awkward as it would be with a stranger.”
This was starting to sound like a horrible idea, but James knew he was going to go through with it regardless as soon as Sirius made his offer. “We’ll need a cover story if we want to get anyone to believe us.”
Sirius nods, pulling James behind him and they make their way down to the Great Hall. “That’s easy since most people think we’re dating already. Let’s just say that we fancied each other for years. It all came to a head this summer when I moved in with you. We’ve actually been dating since summer but we’re only making it official now.”
James hums as he thinks it over. “And Moony and Pete don’t know about this?”
Sirius waves his hand in a careless gesture. “Eh. We’ll tell them the real reason later.” He eyes James carefully, then laces their fingers together. “The rumours will start faster this way,” he says by way of explanation, and James prays on all the gods he doesn’t believe in that Sirius doesn’t notice his racing heartbeat. 
As predicted, whispers and curious glances towards the pair begin as soon as they enter the Great Hall. Sirius turns to James with a gleeful grin and pulls on his hand to press a kiss on his knuckles. There are some squeals and James thinks he sees a third-year pass out, and he’d be lying if he weren’t close to doing the same. 
“What the fuck, you guys,” Remus hisses to them as they sit down. “We were gone for less than ten minutes!”
“We’ll have you know, our darling, precious Moonbeam,” says Sirius, “that James and I are very efficient. Would’ve been a shame if it took longer than that to declare our undying love to each other.”
Remus scoffs. “Would’ve been normal, you mean, considering that your love is neither undying nor existent.”
“How dare you. We are disgustingly in love, I’ll have you know,” Sirius counters, and wraps an arm around James pointedly. James flushes and turns away from Remus’ knowing gaze.
This was going to be a long week.
It doesn’t take long before everyone in Hogwarts is aware of the relationship status of the school’s two most desired students. Most of the upper years congratulate them as they collect their bet winnings and comment on how good they look together, and one fifth-year shyly tells them that their bravery to come out helped them come out to their friends too. 
In hindsight, James realizes that coming out wasn’t even a factor in his decision to fake a relationship. It’s never been a secret that he was bisexual, but it makes sense that a lot of people are surprised since he never publicly announced it. He expects to feel somewhat uneasy, but it’s surprisingly easy to fall into a pattern with his best friend. Sirius was right in that there are hardly any differences in their relationship now that they’re dating — apart from random pecks and hand-holding, which never fail to make James’ stomach explode with butterflies. 
Later that week, when all the sixth-year Gryffindors are lounging on the sofas nearest to the fire, Lily looks at them cheekily. “You boys are remembering to use protection, right?” she asks with a grin. James sputters and throws a pillow at her. Sirius just laughs and reassures her that, yes, darling, of course we are.
James wishes what Sirius said was true. He mostly wishes that he wasn’t in love with his best friend and that he had never agreed to this stupid plan. While he had always pined from afar before, it was much harder to hide his feelings when the object of his desires was now so close.  
“This is the place?” Regulus asks doubtfully, eyeing two little girls in pigtails eating a cloud of pink fluff near the entryway. “The Muggle — uh, park for amusement?”
Remus bounces in excitement, eyes lit up. “Yes! I’m so glad you all agreed to come. This place has been one of my favourite places since I was young.” 
Regulus’ eyes soften as he reaches over to fix his boyfriend’s scarf. “Then I’m glad you brought me here.”
Sirius mimes gagging as the new couple rolls their eyes. James grins and nudges Sirius. 
“ You’re the one who agreed to have a double date instead of eating through our Honeydukes stash together,” he reminds him. 
Sirius huffs. “You can’t expect to resist Reg when he does those eyes on me! And Remus joining in? I was doomed from the start.”
“Says the one who’s actually a dog,” Regulus deadpans. “You of all people should be immune to puppy eyes.”
“I think becoming an Animagus made me less immune, actually,” Sirius muses. “It’s probably to prepare if I ever become a puppy dad.”
Regulus blanches while James and Remus crack up. “I wouldn’t be surprised,” Remus says, laughing. “Remember that lady at the park near Lils’ place with the poodle?”
James bends over with laughter while Sirius shoves them both. “I hate you two! You promised you wouldn’t!”
“Wait, no, I need to know this,” Regulus is grinning evilly, the look worthy of a Black. “Tell me more?”
Remus takes his hand. “With pleasure.”
Sirius puts his nose in the air and huffs again. “That’s my cue to take my leave. James, come with?”
“You look like Mum like that,” Regulus tells him. When Sirius glares at him, he laughs. “That makes the resemblance even better.” Sirius rolls his eyes and turns to James.
“Yeah, okay, but it’s your fault if we get lost,” James replies. He takes a map and bids the other two goodbye, promising to meet them near the food court at lunch. 
“I won’t get lost. I have you, remember?” Sirius says. James raises an eyebrow.
“That would be romantic, but I’m hardly any better than you at navigating this place.”
“At least we’ll have fun?”
“Why are you saying that like a question?”
“My most sincerest apologies. We’ll most definitely have fun!”
“Better.”
“Idiot.”
“Hey, at least I’m your idiot now.”  
Sirius looks over at him with an unreadable expression. “This is fake, Prongs.”
James feels his throat tighten. “Yeah, I know,” he says and tries to ignore the unpleasant clench of his stomach. He thinks he’s successful, but Sirius’ keen gaze seems to read right through the act.
The music playing on a loop as they pass the Tunnel O’ Love overlaps chaotically with excited yells and sounds of carnival games, and sweet, fatty smells mingle with the pine in the air. Sirius leads James along a curling path to a blue-and-gold ticket booth near the entrance, proudly pulling out a stack of Muggle money Remus had given him. 
“I’ll get us two tickets, while you can figure out where you want to go first,” he tells James and hands over a map from the ticket booth. James eyes his arse appreciatively while he flirts with the ticket woman, but quickly averts his gaze when she looks at him knowingly.
James stares at the colourful piece of paper, trying to figure out how to read it. “Does the — uh, does the House of Mirrors sound okay?”
“What, you want to get lost for real? Relying on me, who’s never spoken to a Muggle in my life, to navigate a Muggle wonderland isn’t doing enough for you?”
James shoves him and has to resist a grin when Sirius barks out his laughter. “I’m joking! That sounds fine,” Sirius says, now holding two tickets and a business card with a hastily scrawled number on it. “I’d love to start the day staring at myself from all angles. And you, of course. You’re pretty easy on the eyes.”
“Aww, did my darling Padfoot just say I’m good-looking?” James teases. Sirius rolls his eyes but he can’t hide the smile on his face. 
“Stop fishing for compliments. You know you are."
James’ face flushes. He doesn’t respond while he buys them both churros, some Muggle sweet that tastes like heaven. It’s sweet on his tongue and it helps to distract him a little from the cooler October winds and the sight Sirius makes. He tries not to notice how Sirius moves closer to him for warmth when a large gust hits them, but he can’t ignore the warmth that fills him when he does.
“Is this it?” Sirius asks after a long but comfortable silence. He eyes the pink archway over the entrance of the House of Mirrors distrustfully. 
James nods, face illuminated by the neon lights crisscrossing over the room. “You want to see who can make it out first?”
“Oh, you’re on.” Sirius doesn’t wait a second before taking off to the right. James laughs and takes a left. 
The sound of people hustling through the maze fades as James takes a few steps in. He meets an expected pane of glass and turns right into a new room framed with arches of light. Starting to become more purposeful with his turns, and trying to recall the map of the maze from the entrance, he changes directions but is met with glass. He tries again, with no success.
He’s trying to stay calm, but eventually, the fact that he’s lost and alone and stuck in a glass maze in a Muggle park with no Sirius around starts to become unnerving. His pulse quickens, and he tells himself to keep moving. 
Another glass wall. Keep moving. 
He spins left. Keep moving. 
He’s about to turn right — keep moving — but he slams into someone as he rounds the corner. “Shit,” they gasp, clutching their neck. “Are you okay?”
James nods. He’s feeling a bit dazed so it takes him a moment to realize. “Wait, Sirius? Oh bloody fuck, did I bite you?”
The other person — Sirius — sputters out a laugh. “James? Yeah, you did. It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt.”
“Sirius. I have blood on my teeth, and I don’t think it’s mine.”
Sirius winces. “Yeah, well, I’ve dealt with worse than a bitten collarbone.”
“If it helps, I don’t have rabies.”
“Why would that help? And also, you might have rabies as Prongs.”
A pensive look crosses James’ face. “Wait, you think? Oh shit, let me take a look.”
Sirius stills, then shrugs James’ hand off his shoulder. “I said I’m fine.”
“And I said, let me see.” Without waiting for Sirius’ response, James steps closer to inspect the teeth marks. This close, he can smell Sirius’ peppermint toothpaste and their shared shampoo and something warm and a little earthy, and he can see how the glow of Sirius’ skin under the fluorescent lighting gives him an almost alien-like look. James swallows and wills his blood back up. His best friend’s bleeding, and he’s getting a hard-on. What the fuck?
He distracts himself with healing the small cuts. “There. Good as new,” he says and steps back quickly, only for Sirius to grab his wrist. His grey eyes are dark, reflecting the pink and blue lights overhead. 
“Prongs,” he murmurs. “If you want to—” 
“Yeah,” James breathes out, voice ragged and low. “Anything you want.”
Sirius lets his hand trail up James’ arm, pushing up the sleeve of his sweatshirt and leaving goosebumps in his wake. There’s a split second of hesitation before he’s leaning in, and then James can’t think of anything other than Sirius, his best friend and better half, who smells edible and tastes like the churros they were having earlier and who’s doing something with his tongue that has James gasping and pushing Sirus back against the glass. There’s a crash nearby and some people laughing and they’re springing apart, eyes wide and dark. 
“Why haven’t we been doing this forever?” Sirius breathes. “Fuck, Prongs. That was…”
“Yeah,” James agrees, but he’s unsure what he’s agreeing to. “Wait, what?”
“We should’ve been doing this all along,” Sirius repeats. “I mean, we are dating.”
“Fake,” James automatically says. He thinks he sees disappointment flash across Sirius’ features, but puts it to a trick of the light. 
“Right. Let’s get out of here, yeah? The others will be wondering where we are.”
“Okay,” James says quietly. He’s feeling somewhat off-centre from the kiss and the conversation afterwards, so he leans against Sirius and smiles when he lets him take his hand. 
They seem to walk for hours, and James could swear they went past the same benches a few times, but it feels much easier with Sirius by his side. As soon as the thought forms, as though he can read his mind, Sirius turns to James and gives him a breathtaking smile. “I like it better when you’re with me,” he says softly. 
James stills, heart racing. Between the kiss and now this, he’s feeling rather shaky. “Me too,” he replies quickly, then notices the intensity of the noise here. There’s a barely visible gap between two mirrors facing out, and James grins. 
“Guess what?”
“What?”
“I win,” James says with a laugh, slipping between the glass panes and out into the open air. Sirius comes following, hot on his heels, and whirls to face James. 
“That’s not fair! We were having a moment and I was distracted!”
“Nobody told you to get all sappy on me,” James retorts. “As the winner, I choose the next place we go to.”
“You chose this place too,” Sirius grumbles, but begrudgingly gives James the win. 
“I want to go there.” James points to a large open canopy, under which there seem to be millions of children. “Please?”
“I’m not playing against babies, ” Sirius says. “There’s no way.”
“Your loss. Watch me then, you sore loser.” James grins when Sirius flips him the bird.
“Wait, no, look! Isn’t that Remus?”
James looks around and brightens when he sees him. “Yes! Oh wow, I’m actually hungry. Race you!”
Sirius shakes his head in disbelief then runs off to catch up. 
After lunch, when their stomachs are full of burgers and what Remus calls funnel cakes, James insists on playing until he wins a huge dog plush. He spends the Muggle equivalent of 20 galleons and is about to try again when Remus grabs him by the arm to drag him away. He’s whining and struggling against him when Regulus comes over. 
“Reggie! Tell your boyfriend to let me go!”
Regulus turns to Sirius. “Is this about that toy?”
“I need to win that for Sirius! Think of my dignity, I can’t let toddlers win games that I can’t!”
Sirius pulls James against him. “I don’t need a mediocre representation of my beautiful Animagus form, love. It’s fine if they win.”
“No,” James gasps. “Not you too!”
“It’s not your fault you’re bad at kid games,” Regulus teases. 
“Oi, these machines are rigged against us magical folk anyways,” Sirius consoles, ruffling James’ hair. The three of them have to physically drag his thrashing body away a minute later when a kid no older than four comes up to the machine right after them and manages to win the plush in one go.
“Wha—how in the world—can I steal it from him?”
Remus raises an eyebrow. “You’re not stealing a toy from a four-year-old, James, what happened to your morals?”
“I lost it with my dignity!”
Regulus laughs. “Close your mouth, James, flies are gonna go in.”
“But—But my Padfoot plushie—”
“How dare you insinuate that that crappy fabric monstrosity is me. ”
James sniffles. “It was beautiful. It would’ve kept me so warm at night.”
“What am I for?”
“Your feet are too cold,” James says miserably. “I wanted that!”
Sirius purses his lips. “For that, I’m not sleeping with you tonight.”
James blinks. “You don’t mean that. I can’t get my plushie, and now I won’t get Siri snuggles?”
Regulus and Remus crack up, and Sirius shakes his head with an amused huff. James pouts the entire way home.
“Uh, Sirius? What are you doing?” James asks, surprised to see Sirius waiting for him outside detention. “You’re supposed to be at dinner.”
“I was waiting for you to finish,” Sirius says, smoothing down nonexistent dust from the dark Muggle jeans he’s wearing. “Come on, we’re going out.”
“What?”
“I’m treating you to dinner. Being a proper boyfriend and all that.”
James blinks. “We’re not proper boyfriends.”
Sirius glances up. “Do you want to be?”
What. James has no idea how to respond to that so he busies himself with transfiguring his robes to something more casual. He lets himself get dragged to the Three Broomsticks where they have shepherd’s pie, drink too much Butterbeer, and call it dinner. Between the good food and good company, James can’t bring himself to complain, even though Sirius is acting a lot weirder than usual.
“I was thinking,” Sirius begins. The two of them are curled around each other on a sofa in front of the fire, watching Remus and Regulus play Exploding Snap. It’s a Friday night, and they’re pushing off their homework to Sunday.
“Oh no,” James groans theatrically. “Last time you said that, we had to start dating!”
Sirius shoves him. “Oh, fuck off.” Then, noticing others looking their way with confused glances, Sirius raises his voice. “Yes, and how good did the idea come out to be?”
James catches his drift. “Yeah, it was one of your better ideas for sure.” He leans down to kiss him without thinking and freezes when he realizes what he just did. They’re both still for a second before Sirius flips them over and snogs him so thoroughly that James thinks he probably won’t get the taste of him out for a week.
Regulus throws a cushion at them. “Get a room, you insufferable wankers.”
Sirius flips him off. “Remember that when you’re sucking Moony’s face off, you tosser.”
Remus winces. “Why are you so crude?”
Sirius ignores him, turning back to James. “So I was thinking, we should go see your parents this weekend.”
“Like right now?” James asks, bewildered. 
“Our relationship has been the talk of the school for a few weeks now. I think they’d appreciate hearing it from us before they get it from someone else.”
James sits up quickly, nearly knocking Sirius over. “Fuck, I did not think this would go so far.”
“Why, are you ashamed of me?”
“No! I just don’t want to, you know, lie to my parents about dating my best friend. Who’s basically their son? Is that incest?”
“It doesn’t have to be a lie,” Sirius says quietly. “And ew, what the hell, Prongs, why would this be incest!” 
James stares at him. “Why do you keep saying that when you’re the one who came up with the whole fake part of this?”
Sirius looks away. “Never mind. Do you want to go now? Because Minnie’s probably still awake. We could use her Floo.”
James stares for a moment longer. “Um, okay.”
He heads toward the portrait hole, missing the worried look Remus and Regulus shoot toward Sirius. 
“James! Sirius! What a surprise, I missed you both so much!” Euphemia says happily as she grabs them in a tight hug. “You’ve already grown so much and it’s only been a few months!”
James smiles as he leans down to kiss her head, tension leaving his shoulders at her embrace. “We missed you too, Mum. Where’s Dad?”
“In the office, I presume. Oh, come here, you,” she pulls Sirius over to kiss his cheeks. Sirius smiles, cheeks turning pink, and squeezes her back just as hard.
“What’s this?” Fleamont asks as he walks over. “Well, would you look at that, my sons finally remembered they have parents!”
James watches as Sirius stiffens with a flush before relaxing with a brilliant smile. “I’m sorry I haven’t been keeping in touch as much as I want to. We’re so busy with school.”
Fleamont laughs. “I’m just messing with you.” He grabs James into a headlock, which James resists for half a minute before giving up. Pressing a kiss on his son’s forehead, he turns to Sirius and greets him the same way.
“I can’t say I’m unhappy with this surprise, but why so sudden? I wasn’t expecting either of you two.” Euphemia pulls them over to the living room and calls their house-elf to prepare something for them to eat, despite their insistence of having already eaten dinner.
There’s a few minutes of tense silence. “Well, it’s just that—” James tries to begin, but gets interrupted by the house-elf returning with tea and biscuits.
“We’re dating,” Sirius blurts out. He’s watching Euphemia and Fleamont with a steady glance, face betraying nothing. James stares at him, wishing he could vanish into thin air. He’s gotten used to introducing themselves as boyfriends to the people at school, so it shouldn’t sound so foreign, but in front of his parents, he feels stripped bare. 
Fleamont sets down his teacup and Euphemia pauses. James watches tentatively as their expressions morph into one of surprise before shifting to joy. Fleamont’s smile twitches and Euphemia’s eyes glitter merrily. 
“I can’t say we didn’t expect this,” Euphemia says, tea all but forgotten as she leans forward to take their hands in hers. “When did this start?”
“Over the summer, but we didn’t know how to tell you,” Sirius replies once he realizes that James has lost all ability to function. “We made it official a little bit into the school year.”
Fleamont grins. “No wonder you were so eager to get away this year.”
Sirius laughs. James wants to die. “I can’t help it. I just want James all to myself, even when he’s right next to me.”
Euphemia coos. “I can’t believe Sirius is the first boyfriend you brought home for us to meet, James. You’re getting all grown up, aren’t you?” she says, pinching his cheeks and James pulls away in embarrassment. 
There’s a part of him that wants to confess and tell them that they’re not actually a couple and it was just a silly mistake, but he can’t bring himself to. Not when they’re both looking at them so excited about their relationship. He knows it will hurt them more if — when — they inevitably call this off, but for now, he selfishly doesn’t want to ruin the moment.
James thinks he should feel more guilty about lying to his friends and family about being in a relationship. But strangely, he doesn’t.
Maybe it’s because no matter how much he tries to deny it, the truth isn’t too far off from the lies that he’s telling them.
Later, he comes into the kitchen to help his mum put away the tea. She leans against him when he hugs her from behind and rests her hands on his. They’re wrinkled and rough from age and labour, but they’re just as familiar as James remembered.
Euphemia lets out a deep breath. “I worry for you two sometimes.” 
James frowns. “Why? We’re doing fine, both Sirius and I.”
She closes her eyes and James feels his throat pinch. She looks so fragile in his arms. “Both of you always put each other before yourselves,” she says. “Even if it comes at the cost of your own happiness. I worry that there will be a time where you both think you’re doing what will benefit the other, but will only cause a divide between you two.”
James hums into her hair. “You don’t need to worry about that, Mum. Sirius and I share a brain cell, remember? Nothing can divide us.” 
She laughs and he leans down to kiss her quickly when he hears her whisper, “Jamie, I’m going to tell him this too because you’re both my boys. I love you both to pieces, but if he dares to hurt you, dump him. You deserve only the best.”
He can’t help but laugh, but he feels hollow. Who could be better than Sirius? And why would they want me when my best friend doesn’t?
On Monday morning, James is called into Dumbledore’s office for a Head meeting. As he walks alongside Lily, she gently nudges him to face her.
“I’m so happy for you, James,” she tells him seriously. “Am I a little miffed that you got with Sirius right when we started getting along? A little. But you two are so perfect for each other, it’s hard to be anything but happy for you.”
James tilts his head in confusion. “What do you mean? We’ve always been close, so this is hardly any different from what we were like before.”
She smiles and shakes her head. “Yes, but since you two started dating, both of you seem, I don’t know, lighter.”
“We’ve always been happy together. Even as friends.” James fights the urge to say that they’re still just friends.
“Mhm, sure, but you were less attached.” At James’ disbelieving laugh, she amends, “Like, you two would be together, but both of you obviously wanted more. And now you have that, so you two look less lonely.”
James says nothing. She nudges him again and makes a face, and they both start giggling. It would’ve been so easy to be in love with Lily, James thinks, as he watches her dimples come out as she laughs. Her red hair falls in waves behind her, and James wishes he still wanted to wrap his hands in it as he once did. 
“What if… what if I told you that we’re not in a real relationship?” he asks quietly. As soon as it’s out, he wishes he could take it back.
Lily’s eyes narrow. “I don’t think I heard you correctly.”
“We did this so people wouldn’t make a big deal of asking us out to Hogmeade,” James says in a rush. “We’re just pretending to be dating. We’re not anything more than best mates.”
“Are you?”
“Am I what?”
“Are you just pretending to like him?”
James squirms. He feels exposed under Lily’s sharp gaze. “Yes.”
“Really.” Lily’s tone is flat and gives no indication as to what she thinks, but James hears her disbelief loud and clear. He’s just grateful that she masked her surprise well.
“Okay, so maybe I like him a tiny bit more than I let on,” James admits. 
Lily nods. “So obviously, I’m right. So? When are you telling him?”
James makes an indignant squawk. “Why would I risk ruining our friendship like that?”
Lily purses her lips. “How are you so sure that your friendship with him will be ruined? Last I checked, you could kill his entire family and he’d still worship the ground you walk on.”
“He hates his family, save for Regulus. And I’d never kill Regulus so that’s hardly saying anything.”
Lily makes a frustrated noise. “James. Even before this fake dating ruse, neither of you can fall asleep unless you’re cuddling each other. You’re constantly talking to him or about him. If either of you are ever separated, you have a mirror to talk through for the few minutes that you’re not joined at the hip. How much more oblivious can any two people get?”
James huffs. “That’s only because Sirius is comfy and interesting and brilliant and funny and gorgeous and understands me more than anyone else.”
When Lily says nothing, he looks over and sees her staring at him in a McGonagall-esque manner. “Okay,” he concedes. “So maybe I fancy him a lot, and maybe he likes me back. Emphasis on the maybe. If I confess, and he doesn’t feel the same, what then?”
“Then blame it on me. To save you from your misery, I’ll marry you and we’ll have seven babies and start our own Quidditch team,” Lily says, deadpan. James laughs and puts his arm around her.
“Sounds like a plan,” he tells her happily. “I’ll be the best, most doting husband and father ever.”
She smiles indulgently and hugs him back.
Winter holidays come around quickly. Regulus had come by during the day with Remus but they’ve long since gone. To pass the time, James and Sirius nick some Firewhisky stashed in Fleamont’s study and are passing the bottle between them when James decides to ruin his night. 
“Why did you choose to fake a relationship with me when you could’ve gotten into a real one with someone you fancy?” he blurts out. His brain-mouth filter is fuzzy after having too much to drink. 
“I like spending time with you,” Sirius replies matter-of-factly, as though nothing could be more obvious. “Why hang out with some stupid stranger when I could be with you?”
“Not what I meant.” Sirius looks so pretty, James thinks, staring at the pink flush starting to spread across his cheeks as he drinks more alcohol. They were sitting cross-legged on the floor of James’ bedroom when they first took out the bottle, but now they’ve manoeuvred so that their legs are intertwined and they’re heavily leaning on each other.
James can see the flutter of Sirius’ dark eyelashes whenever he turns to face him. Moonlight illuminates his face from the gap between the curtains, turning his eyes silver. His bottom lip is redder than the top from biting down on it. It’s soft and plump and seems to be beckoning James near. 
A siren’s call. That’s what Sirius was — a siren. Tantalizing, perfect, untouchable. Dangerous to get too close to.
“I’m tired of people wanting to have a part of me without taking the time and effort to understand me. They don’t even know me — I mean, they think they do, but all they see is the popular Hogwarts heartthrob, the rule-breaker and prankster. The black sheep of the Black family.” Sirius’ eyes are glassy from the whiskey, but his gaze seems sad and far away for an entirely different reason.
“That’s not true. I see you,” James says, watching Sirius blink up at him. It feels awfully domestic to be sitting here, away from everyone in just their ugly comfort clothes and baggy sweats. Sirius has a flower clip stuck to his hair that’s nearly slipping off of his bangs and all of his earrings have been put away for the night. They’re just them, and James wants to take a picture to capture it forever.
“But that’s ‘cause you’re you, Jamie. I couldn’t keep a part of myself away from you even if I tried.”
“Not the part of yourself that’s saved for your future special person.”
“You’re my special person, Jamie. There’s no one else.” Sirius waves a hand in front of James’ face and James intertwines their hands together instinctively, mindlessly rubbing circles into the back of Sirius’ hands with his thumb. He drops his bottle to trace over his knuckles with his other hand and presses a kiss onto each raised bone. Sirius’ breath hitches.
“You don’t want me like that, Pads.” James has no idea why he says that. He wants to remain in this ignorant bubble they created in his room for a little longer before Sirius inevitably rejects him. There’s a strange tension filling the air and James feels like he’s drowning. The only anchor he has is the weight of Sirius’ hand in his, but that’s not enough, not when Sirius doesn’t feel the same way, not when James wants more than what Sirius can give, not when James is so fucking greedy he’ll take everything Sirius offers and still beg for more. 
He doesn’t realize that they’re both holding their breaths. All of his attention is focused on the warm, reassuring weight of Sirius’ hand in his, the fingers long and thin and callused from Quidditch. James’ hands are slightly larger and wrap around Sirius’ like two puzzle pieces fit together, just like the two of them. Golden brown on paler white, a work of art.
Like a moth to a flame, James scoots over to Sirius. The small rational part of his mind screams at him to pull away before he hurts himself and Sirius and their beautiful, wonderful relationship. It may be the Firewhiskey or it may be the months of pining, but all rationale flies out the window when Sirius beams at him, wide and unburdened and brighter than his namesake, so fucking perfect it hurts.
“You’re wrong, Prongs,” Sirius whispers. Their faces are inches away from each other. James can’t help but trace lines down the side of his jaw, feeling the 5 o'clock shadow there.  “You’re so wrong, bloody hell, I don’t know what I’d even do without you. Burn the world down to get you back, probably, or become the next Dark Lord. I’d do it all, for you.” 
James stills. He can feel Sirius’ breath fan across his face and can almost hear his racing heartbeat. Or maybe that’s his own. His head is spinning, and everything is starting to feel too real. He needs space, needs to get away before he does something he’ll regret.
He pulls away from Sirius, dropping his hand and pushing to his feet. He swallows down the lump in his throat and tries to ignore the way Sirius flinches, a look of hurt marring his face. James is about to reach again, apology at the tip of his tongue, but he reminds himself that it’s for their own good. 
Sirius is drunk, after all, and it won’t mean anything come morning. It hasn’t meant anything so far, and if he makes one mistake, everything they take for granted could come crashing down. Best to stop it before it’s too late.
“It’s getting late,” James forces out. It takes almost all of his effort to plaster an unaffected smile on his face. His hands clench at his sides, longing for Sirius’ warmth. “We should go to bed.”
He stumbles into the loo to wash his face, knees shaking so much that he knocks into the edge of his bed. He refuses to turn around, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to keep himself from giving in upon seeing the expression on Sirius’ face. He promised himself years ago that he would never be the cause of Sirius’ misery, and doing this to both of them makes him feel like the biggest arse in the world.
When he returns, Sirius is on their bed, curled into himself on the very edge. James wants to reach out to hold him close and whisper sweet nothings into his ear to take away his discomfort, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He falls into a restless sleep, wishing for the millionth time that he was a better man. Maybe then he wouldn’t make so many mistakes.
Before long, classes start again. Amidst piling assignments, Quidditch practice, Head duties, and career planning meetings with McGonagall, James barely has time to spend time alone with Sirius. Since that drunken night at home, Sirius has stopped squeezing into his bed every night, leaving James alone with the dark, a strangely cold bed, and racing thoughts.  James doesn’t know whether to consider it a blessing or a curse. If anything, the distance only makes him think about Sirius more. 
If James had any self-control, he’d stop himself from remembering how Sirius had looked that night. But the past few months of stolen kisses and lingering touches had crumbled any control James had over his thoughts, and he often found himself imagining how Sirius’ flushing skin and loose tongue. The slope of his neck as he leaned against him. The cold, gentle slide of his fingers across James’ bare thighs. The painful avoidance in the following days, the awkward silences and betrayed glances. 
It’s that last memory that forces James to face his reality and bury his overwhelming feelings in the recesses of his mind. He knows he wears his heart on his sleeve, that he laughs effortlessly, cries easily, and cares fiercely. But another part of him knows that to keep Sirius from being scared away by the intensity of his love, he must hide those parts of himself. And so he keeps a distance and ignores Sirius’ flinches and sad eyes. 
He’s doing loops over the Quidditch field the afternoon of his birthday, trying to calm his emotions. He’d been ecstatic when he woke up to a surprise birthday breakfast in the common room with students from all houses and his parents calling over the Floo, but that excitement had been damped when he realized Sirius wasn’t there. It wasn’t uncommon lately for Sirius to slip away in the mornings before James woke up, but he’d been hoping to settle the tension between them to enjoy his birthday with his favourite person.
He looks down when a Hufflepuff third-year calls his name from the sidelines. She’s holding a large gift bag and waving to get his attention.
“Sirius told me to give this to you,” the younger girl says while handing him the bag. “I don’t know why he couldn’t just give it to you himself when he saw you this morning. Something about not being able to give it to you because he has some modelling gig. Since when does Sirius model?”
“He doesn’t,” James replies, bewildered. “Why did he say that?”
The girl shrugs. “Don’t ask me. You’re the only one who can make sense of the stuff he says.” With that, she goes back to the castle, leaving James alone.
Inside the bag is a box of Honeydukes’ chocolates — an assortment of hibiscus raspberry and cardamom orange, which meant Sirius had taken the time to custom-order James’ favourite seasonal flavours. James feels a pleasant warmth pooling in his gut, touched at Sirius’ thoughtfulness despite the past few weeks of strained friendship. 
There’s another larger box with a red ribbon wrapped around it. James gasps when he sees what’s in it, before laughing in disbelief. 
It’s a large, black dog plushie wearing a leather jacket and holding a wand. 
There’s a note attached to the ribbon and James instantly recognizes Sirius’ neat, small handwriting. It reads,
Happy birthday Jamie! You may be of age now but know that I am still older and that if you don’t continue to treat me as a respected elder, I will make you regret it. But I guess I’d rather you treat me as a child than have to endure this distance you’ve put between us. It was that night during the hols, wasn’t it? I freaked you out with my feelings. I knew I should’ve kept my distance, but you should’ve seen yourself. Moonlit and dark-lidded and, as usual, breathtaking.  
Anyway, I love you despite your idiotic tendencies to push people away when you think you’re not good enough for them or whatever bullshit your mind spews out. (I can imagine your raised eyebrow as you call me a hypocrite, but let me have this.) Hope we can go back to normal sooner rather than later; it feels strange to not have you with me constantly. 
Xx Your favourite Marauder, Padfoot 
James’ gut churns while his mind scrambles to make sense of the words. Sirius had feelings? For him? He loved him? All this time, he was trying to protect his heart by distancing himself, but he never considered if Sirius had meant what he had said that night. The proof was right there.
And yet, it felt too good to be true.
The dorm is empty when James comes in, but the map is conveniently on Remus’ nightstand. Taking it with him, he finds Sirius seated in a window of an empty corridor on the third floor, resting his elbows on his knees and looking outside. He turns when he hears footsteps. His grey eyes widen for a fraction of a second when he sees James, before setting into a resigned expression.
“Modeling gig?” is the first thing that comes out of James’ mouth. “What the hell, Sirius.”
“Why are you here?” Sirius asks quietly. He looks withdrawn and guarded, and the look sends a pang through James’ chest. 
“I got your note.” James sits next to Sirius on the small seat and purses his lips when Sirius immediately pulls his feet close to himself. “I didn’t know—”
“It doesn’t matter, James,” Sirius bites back. His eyes, blank just moments before, is not bright with anger and hurt. His hands tremble where he’s clutching his knees, and he pauses to glare at them for a moment before continuing. “I know where I stand. You made it plenty clear. I just wanted to get it out of the way so I wouldn’t have to deal with this… this whole uncertainty when it comes to you. I know I won’t get what I want, and you know this too, so can we just pretend we talked about everything we needed to talk about and go back to normal?”
“What if I don’t want to go back to normal?” James retorts. He’s starting to feel a little angry himself. 
In an instant, Sirius deflates, eyes looking lost once again. “I don’t — I don’t understand. I know I messed up, but I didn’t think — I mean, is it such a bad thing for me to love you? I’d change it if I could, but somehow, my heart’s not getting the message.”
Shit, James thinks. He never wanted to make Sirius feel like he was at fault when it was James who ruined everything by catching feelings and panicking as soon as he realised them. 
Taking the silence for a response, Sirius sighs. “Look, I’m sorry it’s making you uncomfortable. Believe me, I’m doing everything I can to stop myself from feeling this way. Just — don’t push me away. If this is about that stupid deal, you can call it off. Dae other people. You’ve done more than enough for me. I honestly wouldn’t blame you if you want it to end.”
“Don’t stop,” James blurts out. “Don’t stop feeling everything you just said.”
“What?”
“It’s just that — I don’t want to pretend anymore.” Words spill out before James can think, and he’s hoping somehow Sirius will be able to understand what he’s trying to get at. “I don’t want to fake a relationship with you, because it’s getting too much.”
Sirius inhales sharply and nods, a little frantic. “Okay, yeah, okay. Totally. I understand. We don’t have to do this anymore. Consider yourself back on the market.”
“That’s not what I meant.” James can feel the frustration simmering under his skin. Unconsciously, his hands reach to grasp at the closest part of Sirius — his ankles — and he uses them to pull Sirius closer. A distant memory flickers into his mind of the night when they had last sat like this, legs intertwined. Mouths millimetres apart, cheeks flushed, breath hot and heavy. 
“I kept a distance from you because I was scared you wouldn’t feel the same way,” James says quietly. “I didn’t want to hurt you or myself, but I guess I failed anyway.”
“Why wouldn’t I feel the same way? Wait, how do you feel—”
“I’m in love with you, okay?” James says. It comes out louder than he meant for it to. There’s shocked silence on Sirius’ end as James’ words hang between them. James takes a deep breath. 
“I’ve been in love with you since fifth year,” he continues at a normal volume. “Lily and I had that Transfiguration project and I learned throughout that I don’t see her as anything more than a friend. The flirting had become a habit by then, I think, so I didn’t see it until we had to work together. It’s nothing like the way we click with each other. So yeah, I guess I love you. Too. Holy shit, you love me back, Si.”
Sirius laughs, a breathless little thing before his lips are on James’ and the rest of the world fades. Before, when Sirius had kissed him, James had felt like he was drowning, so wrapped in the scent and feel of his best friend that the emotions were overwhelming. Now, with the knowledge that his feelings were reciprocated, he feels like he’s floating, safe in Sirius’ embrace.
“I dreamed about this for ages,” Sirius murmurs as he sits back. “That’s the whole reason I started this whole fake dating thing. I didn’t think I’d have much luck asking you out properly, so I pulled this to, ah, test the waters, if you will.”
James snickers. “So all of this was what, a free trial?”
“Yes,” Sirius murmurs against his neck. James’ breathing hitches. “And I’m feeling very satisfied with the service thus far. But I can’t leave a fair review without testing out all the features. It wouldn’t be right.”
“Oh — ah, fuck — what did you have in mind?” James can’t think, can’t breathe, can’t do anything but pant as Sirius works his fingers into his hair and pulls, kissing him hard the whole time. When Sirius trails a hand down to cup James’ arse through his trousers, James feels his heart stop. 
There’s a wicked grin on Sirius’ face. “Now that I’ve tasted you up here, I kind of want to taste you down there too. See if the tastes match. Or something. I don’t know, I just want to blow you right now.”
James squeaks. “Like, right here? Aren’t we going too fast?”
Sirius sombers. “Jamie,” he whispers. “I’ve been wanting you since we were thirteen. If anything, I think we’re going too slow. But if you’re not ready, I can wait. I’ve waited four years for you, and I will wait four million more if that’s what you want.”
James nods quickly. “I want you too. So much. I’ve been going crazy these past few months trying not to jump into your lap and snog you senseless.”
Sirius smiles. It’s a soft, little thing, and James knows it’s meant only for him. “What’s keeping you now?”
James ducks his head with a blush. “I — can we go to our dorms first?”
“Oh, Prongs,” Sirius says with a shake of his head. “One day I’ll introduce you to the high of doing this in public.”
“You’re such an exhibitionist. No wonder you’re starting a modelling gig,” James chides as he links their hands together. It’s such an endearing sight that he can’t help but lift Sirius’ hands to his mouth and shower his fingers and knuckles with kisses. Sirius’ steps stutter and James looks up, delighted. 
“I was put on the spot,” Sirius says defensively. “I didn’t expect her to start asking questions. I just wanted her to give it to you, not interrogate me.”
“You could’ve just given it to me yourself, like a normal person.”
“We’re anything but normal. Anyway, I was too nervous about your reaction.”
“Touché. Still, it would’ve been loads better coming from you.”
“Then allow me to make it up to you.” Sirius tugs on James’ hand until he stops. He reaches up to frame James’ face as he gently presses their lips together. James isn’t sure how much time passes before they pull apart. As they lean their foreheads on each other, Sirius’ lips quirk. 
“Happy birthday, Jamie. I love you.”
James smiles and tucks in a strand of hair coming loose from Sirius’ bun. “I love you too.”
38 notes · View notes
iceeericeee · 1 year ago
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To anyone who has not seen Psych:
The answer and the stories behind the answers are underneath the cut (please don’t look until you’ve voted)
Dug a hole in the backyard looking for oil:
They wanted to find oil and get rich. That's pretty much it.
Lied to his new teacher that his uncle was actually his dad:
It was parent career day (or something like that), and Shawn thought it would be a better idea to bring his cool uncle over than his lame dad. So his uncle gave this whole story about how his job was looking for buried treasure (they did actually find it later in the episode). But Shawn's dad busted them when he showed up anyway.
Tried to sneak away from the school group on a field trip to ride a dolphin:
Shawn and Gus hid on the school bus while the rest of the class left to go and take a tour around the aquarium. When they coast was clear, they left the bus, and were both immediately caught by his dad.
(Accidentally) started a myth about a girl who killed herself and is now a ghost:
(This ones longer than the others) Shawn and Gus had just finished trick or treating around the neighborhood, and they had gotten into the back of Shawn's dad's police car so they could take their candy to the station and have it checked for razor blades (btw this came out in 2006). So they were both stuck in the car when Shawn's dad had to go and stop a girl from jumping out of the window at the Asylum. Shawn almost saw her fall, but Gus covered his eyes at the last second. When he opened them, she wasn't in the window anymore. Years pass, and they find out from his dad that he had actually managed to save her, and she never jumped out. Gus and Shawn had just made up a story that eventually became an urban legend.
Threw a tennis ball into an ostrich enclosure, and the ostrich ate it:
THIS one is the wrong one. Shawn didn't throw it, it was a girl in his class who threw it at him, and it just so happened to land in the ostrich enclosure. She had thrown it at him because he had been making fun of her.
Kicked one of the taillights out of his dad’s car:
His dad wanted to make sure he could get out of any hostage situation, and they were practicing how to get out of the trunk of a car. And the first thing he told him he wanted to do, was to find the taillight, and kick it out, so you could see your surroundings.
Got a bunch of gift certificates and a bike for being the 1 millionth customer:
Shawn, Gus, and Shawn's dad had all gone to the grocery store so the two of them could get some candy. And he almost didn't get the prize, because he wanted Gus to go first so he could use his leftover money to pay for his candy. But then he got the prize, and used his first gift certificate to buy a shit ton of candy.
Won multiple games of poker against a group of cops:
Shawn is incredibly good at reading people, thanks to his photographic memory and ability to notice small details. And because of this, he was able to tell when his dad's coworkers were bluffing, and when they were telling the truth. He even went as far as to (correctly) guess what kind of cards they had.
47 notes · View notes
tyuninthemirror · 2 years ago
Text
— better man: c.yj
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— pairing: college!yeonjun x fem!reader — genre: fluff-ish, angst-ish — word count: 5018 — disclaimers: university au, reader is soobin's older sister, mentions of food, alcohol, marijuana, smoking and hints of sex. they party here and there. kinda enemies to friends. — synopsis: everything yeonjun ever thought was good suddenly meant nothing because he found something better. — series masterlist
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— author's note: slowburn fanfic, it's kinda painful to watch, you've been warned. lmaaaao. debating on whether or not i should write end up here or valentine next. 🤔 (edited 7/22/2024)
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"Y/N!" Yeonjun watched from the kitchen window as Soobin dashed across their shared lawn, engulfing you in a hug as you exited the cab.
"Hey, Binnie," you returned the hug, squeezing the taller boy. He helps you get your bags from the cab's trunk and shows you into the house.
"Hey, guys! Y/N's here," Soobin hollered as you got to the entrance. Three boys stepped down the stairs, while another appeared from what you assumed was the kitchen - he had an apron tied around his waist.
"Hello, my name is Y/N, Soobin's older sister," you introduced. "Thanks for allowing me to stay for two weeks."
A chorus of "nice to meet yous" rang through the room. After some small talk with the boys, Soobin led you to his room.
Soobin explained that the seniors had planned a spring break trip, leaving only the younger fraternity members behind at the house.
"Oh, and by the way," he added, "Yeonjun's throwing a party tonight. I thought I'd give you a heads up."
"A party? Looks like I'm in for some local fun," you replied with a playful smile. As a year older than Soobin, you had chosen to study in Japan after high school, making it difficult to spend time with your brother. But this year, during your third year of college, you both decided to spend spring break on his campus.
"If you're not up for it, we can skip the party and go out for dinner instead," Soobin suggested as he unzipped your luggage. He knew parties weren't really your thing.
"Don't worry about me," you assured him, pinching his cheek teasingly. "I want to see you in your natural habitat. You must be breaking hearts everywhere."
Soobin groaned and playfully swatted your hand away. "If I were to break hearts everywhere, you'd probably break my bones."
"You know our parents raised you better than that," you quipped back.
"Yes, yes, I know," Soobin replied with an eye roll. "But that's more Yeonjun's area of expertise."
"Well, as long as he's not out here trying to break yours, that's his problem."
By the time you had finished unpacking in Soobin's room, it was close to 4 pm. While he was in the bathroom taking a shower, he asked you to check if there was anything to eat in the kitchen.
"Sorry to interrupt," you quickly apologize when you see Yeonjun slicing up some limes in the kitchen.
"No worries," he says with a grin.
"Are you getting ready for the party tonight?" you ask, glancing at the assortment of alcoholic drinks on the table.
"Yeah, I made some jello shots earlier. Just finishing up with some garnishes," Yeonjun replies, continuing to chop. You nod in understanding as you walk behind him towards the fridge.
"Do you mind if I check out the fridge?" you inquire, gesturing towards the large gray door.
"Go ahead."
As you open the refrigerator door, a stale odor hits your nose and makes your face crinkle. Looking inside, all you see is a tray of eggs, half a liter of milk, and some wilting carrots begging to be used.
"Are you looking for something to eat?" Yeonjun asks as you close the door. "We don't really cook at home, but we have pizza coming in about two hours."
"I don't think Soobin can wait that long," you mutter, leaning against the counter. You pause, considering what you could make with the ingredients in the fridge. "Do you mind if I cook something?"
Half an hour later, you hear one of the boys shout, "I SMELL FOOD! IS THE PIZZA HERE?" followed by heavy thumping sounds that indicate someone running down the stairs. Kai appears in the kitchen a few seconds later.
"Sorry Kai, no pizza here. Just egg rolls," you chuckle as you cut the rolled-up eggs into bite-sized pieces and arrange them on a tray.
Yeonjun has been watching your every move since you started cooking.
"Is that for us?" the younger boy asks excitedly.
"Go away, Kai. It's for Soobin," Yeonjun shoos him away.
"Don't be mean," you scold, lightly jabbing Yeonjun's side with your elbow. "This is obviously for you too, Kai."
"I thought you were making food for Soobin?" Yeonjun asks, puzzled as you take six forks from the dish rack.
"How is Soobin supposed to eat a dozen eggs worth of egg rolls, Yeonjun?"
"Wow, there's food!" Taehyun exclaims as he comes downstairs when Yeonjun calls the rest of the guys to come eat.
"It's not much, but it's probably a good idea to have something in our stomachs before we start drinking," you explain. You can't help but smile as you watch the boys eagerly dig in.
"This is better than cheap pizza," Beomgyu cries, stuffing another piece into his mouth.
"Thanks, Y/N," said Soobin with the cutest grin. You knew Soobin was lying when he said he wasn't out here breaking people's hearts.
It was almost 2 am, but the party was still in full swing. Yeonjun had an arm around Yeri as he smoked a cigarette on the front porch with his other friends. He figured the other guys had probably locked themselves in Beomgyu's room playing games by now.
"Hey, who's that chick in white?" San's voice rang out in the room, his head turning to point at a figure clad in white entering the living room. "Never seen her on campus before."
Yeonjun's eyes followed his gaze and rested on you as you carried on a conversation with Yuqi from journalism in the other room, oblivious to the attention being drawn towards you
"That's Soobin's sister, Y/N."
"Fuck, Soobin never mentioned having such a hot sister," he muttered under his breath, causing Yeonjun's eyebrow to twitch irritably. He knew how much your brother looked up to you and hearing someone objectify you like this didn't sit well with him.
"I think she's pretty too," Mingi chimed in with a laugh, trying to diffuse the tension.
"But seriously, did Soobin ever mention her?" San continued, ignoring Yeonjun's disapproving look.
"That's not cool, man," Yeonjun finally spoke up, shaking his head at San's remarks.
"You're kidding, right? You said the same thing about Wooyoung's cousin last week," San retorted with a scoff. Yeonjun fell silent at that, knowing that he was right.
"I don't think she's that attractive," Yeri interjected, breaking the awkward pause. She was annoyed by their fixation on an unfamiliar girl. "Besides, she's a nobody. Let's go play beer pong or something."
As Yeonjun opened his eyes, he groaned, the alcohol he had consumed not settling well. He looks over to his left and notices Yeri's bare back. Dehydrated and hungover, he puts on some clothes before heading downstairs.
"Hey, that's not nice," Yeonjun hears someone in the kitchen say.
Scratching his head, he walks towards the kitchen, only to be nearly knocked over by someone he recognizes as one of Yeri's friends dashing out of the kitchen and the front door.
"What was that about?" he asked when he realized it was you in the kitchen. The two bags of groceries sitting on their somewhat dirty counter caught his eye.
"Good morning to you, too," you said, laughing at Yeonjun's bed hair and puffy face. "A friend of yours was trying to sneak off with the unopened whisky bottles."
"No wonder we always run out of alcohol," he mumbled. You washed your hands and watched as Yeonjun searched through cabinets for something. His shoulders sag, and he frowns at you as he holds up an empty box of aspirin.
"Luck is on your side. I picked up a box and some Gatorade," you said as you rummaged through your groceries. "Could you bring some up for Soobin and the others while I make some food? I think they are pretty hungover too."
After passing around aspirin and drinks, Yeonjun returned to his room to find an empty bed. Yeri must have left while he was downstairs, not that he cared.
Yeonjun quickly showered before heading back downstairs to see Soobin and Taehyun setting the table, the aroma of soybean stew filling the house.
"It's time to eat," you announced, bringing out a pot of stew as Huening Kai and Beomgyu followed with bowls of rice and side dishes. There was a strange feeling in the pit of Yeonjun's stomach. They had never really had a proper meal after a night of drinking; usually, he would just drink more to fight off the hangover symptoms.
"You know you don't have to do this, right?" you heard Yeonjun’s voice behind you as you swept up the cigarette buds littering the front door.
Turning around, you saw him standing with his arms crossed and a disapproving look on his face. You could tell he had been watching you while you did chores around the house, and it was starting to annoy him.
"What do you mean?" you asked as you continued sweeping. Yeonjun watched as you gathered the cigarette buds he and his friends had thrown on the floor the night before.
"I thought you were supposed to be on vacation," he said, gesturing towards the scattered cigarette buds. "But here you are, making it seem like Soobin asked you to come here and clean up after us."
His tone was accusatory and it made your eye twitch slightly in irritation. "Yeonjun, I'm just trying to help out," you replied, continuing to sweep as quickly as possible.
"But why? It's not your responsibility," he persisted.
You paused, leaning on the broom and facing Yeonjun directly. "First of all," you coughed and straightened up. "Cleaning is therapeutic for me. And secondly," you continued, meeting his gaze firmly. "I don't appreciate the insinuation that I'm just here to be your maid or something. I'm enjoying my time here with all of you. I'm sorry if I offended you by cleaning up while I'm a guest here. I'll stop after I finish sweeping these up. Cigarettes are gross."
With that, you resumed sweeping, clearing away the last of the cigarette buds from the floor.
"Guys, let's go," Yeonjun called out to the group, lacing up his sneakers. San was hosting a party at his house, and everyone was invited. San was hosting a party at his house and everyone was invited. The boys decided to go, except for you and Soobin who chose to spend the evening at home.
It had been three days since you arrived, and there was still a tense silence between you and Yeonjun after that altercation on the front porch.
"Coming," Beomgyu said as he scrambled to put on his shoes, Taehyun followed closely behind with equal enthusiasm.
"Where is Kai?" Yeonjun inquired, noticing the absence of their youngest member.
"He decided to stay home and play Ticket to Ride with Soobin and Y/N," Taehyun responded nonchalantly.
Yeonjun scoffed, "Lame, staying home for a board game."
"Hey, I was tempted too," Beomgyu admitted. "I'm only coming because I heard Sieun will be at the party."
"And I'm only going because Kai refused to let me be the yellow train car," Taehyun revealed.
"Weirdos," Yeonjun mumbled under his breath, but still unconsciously glanced up the stairs to see if anyone else would join them.
You slowly open your eyes, but all you can see is pitch-black darkness. You check the time on your phone; it's almost 5 am. You turn to your right and see Soobin sleeping peacefully, then glance down to see Huening Kai sprawled out on the floor, hugging a giant plushie.
The three of you had ordered fried chicken and shared a few cans of beer while playing Ticket to Ride before settling in to watch the Avengers before bed. Halfway through the movie, Huening Kai fell asleep, and you didn't have the heart to disturb him.
Carefully sliding out of Soobin's bed so as not to wake him, you quietly make your way past Huening Kai's scattered limbs and head downstairs for a glass of water from the kitchen. As you reach the bottom of the stairs, you try to suppress laughter at the sight of Beomgyu dozing off on the three-seater sofa with Taehyun lying on top of him and one shoe missing. You turn towards the entrance and see Yeonjun sound asleep with his back against the front door.
"It seems like no one made it to their beds," you chuckle to yourself. After finishing your glass of water, you set out some aspirin and a pitcher of water on the coffee table for everyone to take in the morning.
"I'm never drinking again," Beomgyu groaned from the living room sofa when they finally woke up sometime later in the day. "Why didn't you make me stay, Kai?"
"I tried!" Huening Kai defended from across the room.
"Maybe don't drink so much next time," you laugh.
The next few days passed relatively quickly. Soobin took you to a night market near campus one day, and you all went on a hike the next.
You and Yeonjun were on better terms. Soobin and the others knew about the slight tension but chose not to ask.
Despite the awkwardness with Yeonjun, the six of you had gotten closer, even talking about their plans after college and the jobs they wanted to get. There was even a day you spent a couple of hours teaching the boys how to cook.
"I can't believe you're leaving in a week," Soobin grumbled. "I won't be able to see you again until Christmas."
"You could always move to Japan with me," you joked as the six of you ate take-out Chinese food at the dining room table.
"How do you want to spend your last week?" Taehyun asked eagerly, eyes shining with anticipation. Yeonjun's ears perked up, curiosity piqued by the question.
"I'm not sure," you mumbled. "To be honest, I'm chill."
"I heard Hyunjin and his friends are throwing a party tonight.
Anyone up for it?" Beomgyu suggested. "Or maybe we've had enough excitement?"
"Is Hyunjin the blond guy who came with the guy named Felix?" you asked, trying to recall the people you met the night before. "I think Yuqi introduced me to them."
"That's the one," Beomgyu confirmed. "I believe Yuqi will be there tonight. too."
"All right, let's go!"
Yeonjun stood quietly in the corner of the room, his thoughts drifting as he watched you and Yuqi move about the house. The dull thud of music filled his ears, but he was more focused on the two of you. Beside him, Yeri chattered on about something, but he found himself lost in his own thoughts.
Fifth. Yeonjun watched as a fifth guy approached you that night, and it turned out to be Changbin from computer engineering, one of Hyunjin's friends. He frowned as you managed to get Changbin to stop hitting on you and walk away. That was the fifth time you turned someone away that night.
He scanned the room, looking for Soobin, wondering why he wasn't with you to fend off these unwanted suitors.
"Yeonjun? Are you listening?" Yeri groaned in frustration at the boy's lack of response.
"Huh?" Yeonjun replied absentmindedly, finally tearing his gaze away from you. Yeri followed his line of sight and rolled her eyes before storming off.
Feeling restless, Yeonjun decided to head to the kitchen for a drink. As he entered, he spotted Soobin grabbing a beer.
"Hey," Soobin said, nodding to acknowledge Yeonjun's presence.
"Hey, where have you been?"
"Just hanging out in the backyard," Soobin replied nonchalantly, taking a sip of his drink.
Yeonjun couldn't help but blurt out his frustrations about all the guys hitting on you tonight.
"Don't worry about it, she can handle herself," Soobin chuckled, "How about you? I'm surprised you and Yeri haven't gone upstairs yet."
"Didn't feel like it," Yeonjun shrugged as he poured Jack Daniels into his cup before topping it off with Coke.
"Binnie," you cried as you entered the kitchen and noticed the second figure in the room. "Hey, Yeonjun."
"What's the matter?" Soobin asked.
"I'm a little bored; do any of you want to get some ice cream down the road?"
That's how you and Yeonjun ended up three blocks down the road at 11 pm for ice cream.
Soobin initially wanted to join, but when a girl named Tzuyu invited him to play beer pong, he quickly changed his mind and urged you to leave without him.
"Was the party really that boring?" Yeonjun asked as the two of you sat outside the ice cream shop, enjoying your sweet treats.
"Not really, Yuqi was leaving, and I didn't really want to talk to anyone else," you admitted with a small smile. "Thanks for coming along, though. And sorry for dragging you away from the party."
"Don't worry about it," he said, shrugging it off.
"I know it's early, but if it's okay with you, I might head back first," you said as you finished your ice cream. "I know my way back. Just let Soobin know I went home first. I kinda wanna binge some of the new episodes of Brooklyn 99."
Yeonjun paused for a moment. The party tonight wasn't really doing it for him, and he knew it. Maybe because he wasn't drunk yet? He could go back and catch up with Yeri, but that didn't sound like much fun.
"Actually, I'll head back with you if you don't mind rewatching older episodes," Yeonjun grinned. "I'm still watching season two."
It was the first time he had left a party sober since starting college, but being with you seemed like a much better option than staying at the dull party.
"Has anyone seen Yeonjun?" Beomgyu asked as he walked into the living room where Soobin, Taehyun, and Huening Kai sat watching Spiderman: No Way Home.
"Probably in his room or in my room bingeing Brooklyn 99 with Y/N. They've been at it for two days," Soobin answered, eyes never leaving the screen.
"San's been asking where Yeonjun is. Apparently, he missed their house party last night. He even left Hyunjin's party early the other night," Beomgyu added, plopping himself on an empty seat to join their movie marathon. "They thought he left with Yeri, but she was playing strip poker with the other guys."
"Shh, we're trying to watch the movie peacefully," Taehyun hushed.
"Besides, isn't that a good thing? You always complain about how much alcohol he consumes," Soobin continued. "And he only smokes around San's group."
"That's true," Beomgyu sighed.
"Guys, shut up," Taehyun groaned.
Soobin wasn't stupid - he'd like you and Yeonjun to believe he was oblivious, but he wasn't.
Although Soobin and Yeonjun didn't always hang out with the same people, Yeonjun was one of his closest friends, and you were his sister.
Did he mind that you were spending more time with Yeonjun than with him? Just a tad. Was he opposed to it? Not at all.
He thought back to the mornings when Yeonjun would come home from a night out, hungover and drunk, or to the times when he would find Yeonjun high as a kite after spending time with Yeri. Both were a twice a week occurrences, but Yeonjun hadn't been to a party or hung out with San and the others in 3 days.
Soobin had always known his sister was a bit old-fashioned. She wasn't a killjoy or anything, but she did have some more traditional morals and virtues, like when she told him off when he said he wanted to try vaping. She responded, "Why? Because all of your friends are? Would you rather spend your money on food or on air that could harm your health?"
Who would have guessed that someone like his sister could have such a positive impact on Yeonjun?
Soobin knew he had to be supportive whether your relationship with Yeonjun was platonic or blooming into something.
How?
By making you both spend more time together.
"Are they for real?" Yeonjun groaned, scanning the grocery list. "Do they think you're a cooking machine or something?"
You chuckled at Yeonjun's exasperation as the two of you strolled to the nearby grocery store. Earlier, the rest of the boys had left it up to Yeonjun to help with dinner plans, since Soobin had insisted on your cooking. As a result, you were now on a shopping trip with Yeonjun to gather ingredients while the others unvolunteered themselves.
"It's fine," you assured Yeonjun as you reviewed the list. "I enjoy cooking, and there's no one for me to cook for in Japan anyway."
The mention of Japan made Yeonjun go quiet. He and the other boys had grown used to having you around, so talking about your departure felt strange. In recent days, however, you and Yeonjun had been getting along better. Despite your initial impression of him as loud and outgoing, different from yourself and Soobin, you found his personality endearing. And he, too, had come to understand you better over time. He initially saw you as standoffish and judgmental but eventually realized that taking care of others was just your way of showing love.
You and Yeonjun arrive at the supermarket, and you walk ahead while Yeonjun follows behind, pushing the shopping cart.
"Do you know where the flour is?" you asked Yeonjun, but before he could respond, someone called out his name. Yeonjun turned around to see San and Mingi standing at the far end of the aisle.
"Where've you been hiding, Choi Yeonjun?" San asked playfully.
"Clearly busy," added Mingi as he noticed your presence. “Hi!”
"Hi there," you greeted them politely with a small smile. "I'm Y/N."
"I'm San," said San as he reached out to shake your hand. "Nice to meet you."
"Likewise," you replied with a tight-lipped smile, noticing a faint scent of cigarette smoke on his clothes that made you feel slightly queasy. You also couldn't help but notice Yeonjun tensing up in the presence of these two boys.
"Wanna go smoke outside?" Mingi asked, gesturing towards the exit.
"Nah, man, we're already late for dinner," Yeonjun responded, motioning for you to continue walking as he turned back to face them.
"We're having a party at our place later, you should come!" San called out after your retreating figures.
The rest of your time in the store was spent in awkward silence without either of you making any small talk, which made you feel uneasy. You wondered why Yeonjun was being so quiet. Did he not want to be seen with you?
"So… do you smoke too?" you asked as you both walked back home, thinking back to your earlier encounter and attempting to start a conversation.
"Yeah, I do. So what?" snapped Yeonjun, catching you off guard with his abrupt response. You had only asked a simple question and didn't expect such a defensive reaction from him.
"I was just curious-"
"What? Are you going to judge me now? Call me disgusting for smoking?" Yeonjun snickered angrily before you could finish your sentence, causing you to freeze in your tracks, hurt by his tone of voice.
"Listen here, jerk, I've never judged you or anyone else!" you spat out. "Just because I don't personally like smoking doesn't mean I'm going to judge others who do! What's wrong with you?"
Yeonjun stood there looking perplexed by your sudden outburst while innocent bystanders hurried past the scene, not wanting to get involved.
"Get your head out of your ass," you spat as you storm pass Yeonjun, eager to get home as soon as possible.
To say Soobin felt guilty would be an understatement. He couldn't fathom what could have happened for the two of you to leave the house in such high spirits and then return without saying a word to each other.
When Yeonjun entered his room, he slammed the door so loudly that the others flinched.
As you hear his door slam, you mutter, "Very mature," under your breath.
That evening, only five people joined for dinner. The food was almost finished cooking when Taehyun informed you that Yeonjun had already left for San's party. You were shocked and confused by the turn of events. It hurt you when you couldn't understand why Yeonjun was angry with you.
The next few days were the same, with you and Yeonjun completely ignoring each other's presence. This was worse than when you first arrived, Soobin thought.
Yeonjun had been going to parties every night for three nights in a row, returning home completely intoxicated and once having the cops take him home.
"Is everything okay?" Soobin was finally able to ask one day while alone in the kitchen with Yeonjun.
Yeonjun looked at his friend as he poured milk into his cornflakes. "What do you mean?"
"You don't look…" Soobin began, unsure of the appropriate words to describe Yeonjun's state. "Well?"
Soobin observed Yeonjun's face, he couldn't help but notice the puffiness around his eyes and the sunken appearance of his cheeks. His bloodshot eyes revealed that he had either been up all night or not getting enough rest.
"Yes, I'm fine," Yeonjun responded through clenched teeth.
"All right," Soobin chuckled nervously. "I'm dropping Y/N off at the airport with Yuqi in a few hours. Let me know if you want me to bring-"
"Is Y/N leaving today?" Yeonjun asked in a panic. His own worries had consumed him so much that he had lost track of time and forgotten about your limited time together.
"Yeah, tonight at 6."
Yeonjun's mind was a battleground of self-torment. He had been meaning to approach you for the last few days, but each time he chickened out, his courage evaporating like mist in the morning sun. Instead, he found himself standing at San's front door, thinking 'I can do it tomorrow'.
He hated it. He hated how time seemed to drag on during these parties, and how alcohol and cigarettes were his only escape from the overwhelming thoughts in his mind. But he hated it all - the hangovers, the smell of smoke on his fingers, and most of all, the way he had snapped at you that night.
He couldn't understand why he lashed out like that; he didn't even enjoy smoking, he only did it to fit in with San and the others. He could have explained this all to you afterwards, so why didn't he? Was it his pride stopping him from opening up? Or was it because he didn't want you to see a different side of him? Did he fear your judgment or rejection if you knew about his struggles with peer pressure? None of it mattered now, as you were leaving and his last memory of you would be him yelling.
"Y/N! Yuqi is here!" Yeonjun hears Beomgyu yell from his closed room. A few seconds later, he hears the door to Soobin's room open, followed by your luggage wheel rolling towards the stairs.
"It's now or never," he mumbled as he stood up and prepared to face you.
While you said your goodbyes, Soobin and Yuqi were sorting through your luggage in her car. You and Yuqi formed a good friendship over the last few days, even making plans together.
"I'm going to miss you all a lot," you frown as Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Huening Kai stand in front of you, bidding you farewell. You can't help but be bothered by the lack of presence of a particular boy.
One by one, you draw them into a hug. Having a few more little brothers for a few weeks was nice.
"Aww, don't be too upset," Taehyun consoled. "We'll see you in a-"
"Y/N!" you heard Yeonjun's voice call out, cutting Taehyun off. You turn around to see him rushing out the front door. "I need to talk to you."
The three younger boys take it as their cue, bidding you farewell one last time before heading back inside.
"I was beginning to think you were avoiding me," you chuckled, though your laughter sounded strained and forced. Yeonjun couldn't help but let out a genuine laugh at your attempt to lighten the mood.
"I'm sorry," Yeonjun finally spoke, his voice heavy with guilt. "I've been rude and unfair to you."
You waved a hand dismissively. "Hey, you don't have to explain yourself. I'm sure I said something that upset you at some point."
"Quite the opposite," Yeonjun mumbled under his breath, his eyes downcast. "I've been more mad at myself than anything else."
Confusion filled your mind as you tried to make sense of his words. "What are you on about?"
"I just don't want you to think badly of me, okay?" Yeonjun blurted out, his voice tinged with desperation. "I didn't want you to think less of me."
Your heart softened as you saw the vulnerability in his eyes.
"Yeonjun," you said with a soft smile, reaching out to take his shaking hands in yours. "I would never think badly of you. Plus, a lesser man wouldn't have admitted this to me. You need to give yourself a bit more credit."
A relieved sigh escaped Yeonjun's lips upon hearing your response. Of course, you would say something so reassuring. Despite being the same age as him, you always seemed so much more mature and understanding.
"Y/N, we've got to get going!!!" Yuqi yells from her car. "You'll see everyone in a year!"
"A year?" Yeonjun muttered, surprised by Yuqi's words.
"Yeah, Yuqi somehow convinced me to take my master's here because we're both in the same degree," you laughed. "Besides, did you think you'd be able to get rid of me so easily?"
Yeonjun joins in on your laughter and pulls you in for a warm hug. In that moment, he couldn't help but feel a tinge of regret for the past few days.
"I promise I'll be a better man when we meet again."
A small smile plays on your lips, "I'll be holding onto that promise. See you soon, Choi Yeonjun."
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omegaremix · 2 months ago
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Lindenhurst.
I lived in Brentwood for much of my timeline; mostly at my childhood home and later moved down the road not too far away post-Stony Brook. The latter move was a result of me refusing to move down to Myrtle Beach with my parents. I never had any desire to leave New York State and I never had enough of visiting New York City. Around the time, the economy plundered. I went broke and applied for the first job opportunity that was open in order to survive. I had no idea that place would ruin me. For most of the time at the second Brentwood residency, I wasn’t feeling 100% because of constant targeting of management and their crony co-workers. It took me a while to get back on track and eventually whatever I lost I gained back and more. I discovered a few key artists that made me see the light. I got back into broadcasting with a new radio show, and I finally re-united with Cath- whom I haven’t seen in a few years due to her addiction and sordid history.
But, some things turn sour that’s not your fault. Ma’ commits suicide and your dad ends up moving back in with you. You end up working two jobs without a day-off in near vicinity. Cath-’s #1 dies of a heroin overdose and she cuts off all ties from you with absolutely no reason given. Your unemployed gamer landlord doesn’t put in his fair share of rent and utilities, so you end up with no internet and you’re literally freezing because there’s no running heat or hot water for all of winter. Of all the major events going on, that final one had my bro- take notice. He was living with his lady and their first-born in Lindenhurst. He felt so bad learning I was living with no utilities that he not only offered me to move in with him to Lindenhurst but also into a new house. I shouldn’t say ‘offered’. He told me so. Sure. I wasn’t complaining.
I had about a week to pack up all the loose ends and was told to take out all my records, discs, cassettes, VHS tapes, and DVDs from the drawers and throw them in giant bins. Him and his friends managed to lift all the furniture up out of the old Brentwood residency and into the new one in Lindenhurst. It was my duty to take some of the smaller boxes of personals to stuff in the trunk, back seat, and passengers’ seat of my car.
I’d be leaving behind the un-mopped dingy floors, the eventual basement floods, and the other disused soot-ridden rooms which the former random inhabitants lived in. One ‘neighbor’ who lived in the adjacent room from me came home on the weekends totally wasted that he collapsed face first on the floor as soon as he walked in. He almost caused a house fire by forgetting the bag of popcorn he was cooking in the microwave. And the best one – get ready for this - was when a fully nude lady almost walked into my room. It was his prostitute looking for him. Jesus Fucking Christ.
I went to work and was told by my bro- that everything would be moved in the same day, so just come to the new house in Lindenhurst. I had no idea how good I had it. My new room was up on the second floor and triple the size of my previous one. Carpeted floors. Windows that faced the peeking sun. Low-flying passenger jets. A wider, larger closet space, and a pair of smaller doors revealing an attic for storage. Plus, being in Lindenhurst meant that three record stores were in near vicinity: West Babylon’s Looney Tunes, Amityville’s High Fidelity, and Massapequa’s Infinity Records. Lindenhurst had quickly become a favorite place to live in.
I arrived from work on a sunny 70* Sunday. June 1st to be exact. Most of what I kept from my childhood home and the previous residency came with me to Lindenhurst such as a gumball machine, my gramma’s Lafayette LR-810 receiver, and a massive Philips 24” CRT TV that would paralyze anyone attempting to lift it. All of it was there and a few boxes of my audio / video library. I wasn’t interested in unpacking. Not just yet. Our wi-fi network was set-up. That was the most important thing to me. I haven’t had consistent wi-fi in six months. The first thing I looked up was to see how Cath- was doing despite her taking everything we had and throwing out the trash as if it was nothing. Good news: she’s started a new life solo in Arizona and has been clean for one month.
The first finds to mark my new stay in Lindenhurst? Someone had posted Pharmakon’s “Xia Xinfeng” where her murderous screams break through a fully-running frigidly cold hum. I was sold instantly. The vinyl-finds groups lead me to Mass Production and Peter Brown; soul-jazz and pop respectively. I stuck with the L.I.E.S. label after fully enjoying Ron Morelli’s solos for a quite a while, all released through Dominick Fernow’s Hospital Productions. His label compilation, Music For Shut-Ins, supplied Samantha’s Vacation, Svengalisghost, and Legowelt. Omar Souleyman started gaining a name for himself in the states. Experiencing “Kell Il Banat Inkhatban (All The Girls Are Engaged)“ is truly something. I never heard keyboards go that crazy. Then we have WUSB’s own Alice, dee-jay of Nightmare Aquarium. Without her, I wouldn’t have known who Ariel Pink and William Onyeabor were. I credit her for introducing me to the magically sublime Black Marble.
Nary did I have a day off during that Summer I moved in. I could only count four…maybe six total. The electronics place finally gave me full time, double-dealing between that and part-time at the Italian market. The only stand-out moment I had during the hotter months was getting lost somewhere in the sunny woodsy section of Mastic looking for Nicole’s residency which I did find an hour late. Nowadays, one listen to A Different Arrangement instantly takes me back to those June Sundays.
Autumn came. The days were getting cooler and darker. Driving past Argyle Pond coming home from work became a staple memory with synthwave vibes of “Fright Night” from Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti forever attached to it. Hospital Productions gave me another artist to savor in the Italian-based Ninos Du Brasil  with their dying-hot exotic techno sounds. Suicideyear would be distinct to the season and to Lindenhurst alone which makes their sound personal in my book. Another neighborhood memory, Dual Action’s “NC-17 Drive In”, is forever intertwined to the Autumn soul. Our WUSB hip-hop dee-jay Dr. Ceus played me SpaceGhostPurrp’s “Mystical Maze” adding another bookmark in this asterisk time. Mono/Poly’s “Alpha Omega”, Lussuria’s “Mondo Narcotico” and “Keys To Unlock Paradise (Roman Showers)” from American Babylon,Function & Vatican Shadow’s Games Have Rules, the obscure Axxa/Abraxas’ “Waiting Daze”, and selections from The Bug’s Angels & Devils left their imprints on another feel-good season at Lindenhurst.
Before I knew it, my streak of 83 straight days of work was finally broken a few days before Thanksgiving. I came to visit the market for my hours to see that I was written out of the grid. Week after week it became a normal occurrence. I’ve been giving them my other hours in time without fail but now no more results. No discussion, no rhyme or reason why. I was let go without any notice. It was a blessing, however. A soft end to six years of non-stop belittling, boys-club behavior, and endless soul-torturing has finally been put down to die.
Winter was where things started to get fucked for discoveries; like the ‘parenthesis’ in an equation. My ex- Yenny is leaving for Lima and she’s asked me to house-sit for her in Hauppauge. A two-week stay meant all music discoveries default there. A residency inside a residency. Before and after, XXYYXX’s only full-length and two finds from the Ze label Xmas Record, Suicide’s “Hey Lord” and Alan Vega’s “No More Christmas Blues” are embedded in those frosty, chilly Winter days back in Lindy-. The latter two would be put on pause as I walked a couple of blocks to the bagel place for a heavy baked breaded breakfast.
Then came a March announcement from my bro-: we’re moving to Ronkonkoma. This was unexpected. He was excited to start a new point in his life. His lady was expecting their second child and wanted something even nicer than what we have. There was no issue with where we lived. I had none and truly wanted to stay longer. But, what my bro- was selling us on that we’d upgrade from the slightly crowded residential streets, noise-polluting airplanes, and highways across every direction for a gentler, calmer, at-peace setting of historical context, well-manicured lawns, trails, veteran’s parks, and a 4.5 square-mile scenic lake. To me, Ronkonkoma was Record Stop on Portion Road, punk luminary Jimi LaLumia’s Record Connection on Hawkins Road, and what used to be Lakeside’s bar where I’d go for some small-scale but breakout-violent local hardcore shows. Other than LaLumia, none are still standing. It’s a new decade now; far away from the community-college shows and record-buying jaunts from the Stony Brook era. We had up until May 1st   to get everything together. The Lindenhurst finds dwindled down to nothing, and all the discoveries found that Spring ended up at the current residency we’re at now. It was time to say goodbye to my old furniture: the twin-sized bed, the old bookshelves, dressers, drawers, the gumball machine, and the Lafayette that was losing its functionality. We left all the small stuff in front of the gate and left the furniture behind. Goodbye Lindenhurst and hello Ronkonkoma.
**********
I can tell you that my very first experience in the new neighborhood was delightful and exotic. We were only a few blocks away from the new house. My dad had me pull up to our neighborhood 7-11 for his daily coffee. I grab a pack of Hostess chocolate cupcakes and behind the counter I see the perfect ginger. Bright long copper hair, brown eyes, freckles, and all of pale skin. Jackpot. She was a sight to be seen.
There was a line of five people in front of us with two registers open. Dad was more than ready to sip his coffee but was getting restless as the scalding hot was wearing off. Lucky for me, the young Indian kid took care of him. I put my Hostess on the counter for the ginger to ring up. She was quiet, expressionless. Tired, bored, introverted? Who knows. Who cares. She made quick work of my purchase and I was two more cupcakes happier. The day was off to a great start. I didn’t believe people like her existed.
She was my very first memory at the new neighborhood. I still remember her to this very day. There’s some faces you never forget.
Pharmakon “Xia Xinfeng”
Mass Production “Slow Bump”
Atari Teenage Riot “Modern Liars”
Peter Brown “For Your Love”
Black Marble A Different Arrangement
Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti “Schnitzel Boogie”
Purling Hiss “Don’t Even Try It”
Omar Souleyman “Kell Il Banat Inkhatban (All The Girls Are Engaged)“
Poly Styrene (as Mari Elliott) “Silly Billy”
L.I.E.S. label Music For Shut-Ins (2013)
Carbonas “September Gurls”
Predator “Honest Man”
Run The Jewels “Blockbuster Night Pt. 1”
Arca “Thievery”
Broadcast “Goodbye Girls”
Ariel Pink “Put Your Number In My Phone”
Ninos Du Brasil “Pandiero Sinchinsa”
NeruvianDOOM “Disastrous”
Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments “Please Hear My Plea”
Suicideyear “Hope Building A”
Hussy, The “EZ-PZ”
Carbonas “Frothing At The Mouth”
Krewe Of 77 “Three’s A Crowd”
Ekoplekz “Robert Rental”
Wara From The NBHD “Squeal (Peel Off)”
Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti “Fright Night (Never More)”
Mono/Poly “Alpha & Omega”
Casket Girls, The “Chemical Dizzy”
Bug, The “Void”
Suicideyear “Rememberance”
Standish / Carlyon “2 5 1 1”
Vereker “Rosite”
Ninos Du Brazil “Tuppelo”
SpaceGhostPurrp “Mystikal Maze”
Dual Action “NC-17 Drive In”
Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments ”Turntable Battlefield”
Bug, The “Swarm”
Suicideyear “I Don’t Care About Death Because I Smoke”
Travis Porter “Do A Trick” (Suicideyear RMX)
Ninos Du Brasil “Rebanho Espetacular”
Lussuria “Mondo Narcotico”
Function & Vatican Shadow Games Have Rules
Axxa/Abraxas “Waiting Daze”
Lussuria “Keys To Unlock Paradise (Roman Showers)”
Blossom Dearie “Sunday Afternoon”
XXYYXX “Witching Hour”
Alan Vega “No More Christmas Blues”
Suicide “Hey Lord”
XXYYXX “Fields”
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omegaplus · 2 years ago
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Lindenhurst.
I lived in Brentwood for much of my timeline; mostly at my childhood home and later moved down the road not too far away post-Stony Brook. The latter move was a result of me refusing to move down to Myrtle Beach with my parents. I never had any desire to leave New York State and I never had enough of visiting New York City. Around the time, the economy plundered. I went broke and applied for the first job opportunity that was open in order to survive. I had no idea that place would ruin me. For most of the time at the second Brentwood residency, I wasn’t feeling 100% because of constant targeting of management and their crony co-workers. It took me a while to get back on track and eventually whatever I lost I gained back and more. I discovered a few key artists that made me see the light. I got back into broadcasting with a new radio show, and I finally re-united with Cath- whom I haven’t seen in a few years due to her addiction and sordid history.
But, some things turn sour that’s not your fault. Ma’ commits suicide and your dad ends up moving back in with you. You end up working two jobs without a day-off in near vicinity. Cath-’s #1 dies of a heroin overdose and she cuts off all ties from you with absolutely no reason given. Your unemployed gamer landlord doesn’t put in his fair share of rent and utilities, so you end up with no internet and you’re literally freezing because there’s no running heat or hot water for all of winter. Of all the major events going on, that final one had my bro- take notice. He was living with his lady and their first-born in Lindenhurst. He felt so bad learning I was living with no utilities that he not only offered me to move in with him to Lindenhurst but also into a new house. I shouldn’t say ‘offered’. He told me so. Sure. I wasn’t complaining.
I had about a week to pack up all the loose ends and was told to take out all my records, discs, cassettes, VHS tapes, and DVDs from the drawers and throw them in giant bins. Him and his friends managed to lift all the furniture up out of the old Brentwood residency and into the new one in Lindenhurst. It was my duty to take some of the smaller boxes of personals to stuff in the trunk, back seat, and passengers' seat of my car.
I’d be leaving behind the un-mopped dingy floors, the eventual basement floods, and the other disused soot-ridden rooms which the former random inhabitants lived in. One ‘neighbor’ who lived in the adjacent room from me came home on the weekends totally wasted that he collapsed face first on the floor as soon as he walked in. He almost caused a house fire by forgetting the bag of popcorn he was cooking in the microwave. And the best one – get ready for this - was when a fully nude lady almost walked into my room. It was his prostitute looking for him. Jesus Fucking Christ.
I went to work and was told by my bro- that everything would be moved in the same day, so just come to the new house in Lindenhurst. I had no idea how good I had it. My new room was up on the second floor and triple the size of my previous one. Carpeted floors. Windows that faced the peeking sun. Low-flying passenger jets. A wider, larger closet space, and a pair of smaller doors revealing an attic for storage. Plus, being in Lindenhurst meant that three record stores were in near vicinity: West Babylon’s Looney Tunes, Amityville’s High Fidelity, and Massapequa’s Infinity Records. Lindenhurst had quickly become a favorite place to live in.
I arrived from work on a sunny 70* Sunday. June 1st to be exact. Most of what I kept from my childhood home and the previous residency came with me to Lindenhurst such as a gumball machine, my gramma’s Lafayette LR-810 receiver, and a massive Philips 24” CRT TV that would paralyze anyone attempting to lift it. All of it was there and a few boxes of my audio / video library. I wasn’t interested in unpacking. Not just yet. Our wi-fi network was set-up. That was the most important thing to me. I haven’t had consistent wi-fi in six months. The first thing I looked up was to see how Cath- was doing despite her taking everything we had and throwing out the trash as if it was nothing. Good news: she’s started a new life solo in Arizona and has been clean for one month.
The first finds to mark my new stay in Lindenhurst? Someone had posted Pharmakon’s “Xia Xinfeng” where her murderous screams break through a fully-running frigidly cold hum. I was sold instantly. The vinyl-finds groups lead me to Mass Production and Peter Brown; soul-jazz and pop respectively. I stuck with the L.I.E.S. label after fully enjoying Ron Morelli’s solos for a quite a while, all released through Dominick Fernow’s Hospital Productions. His label compilation, Music For Shut-Ins, supplied Samantha’s Vacation, Svengalisghost, and Legowelt. Omar Souleyman started gaining a name for himself in the states. Experiencing “Kell Il Banat Inkhatban (All The Girls Are Engaged)“ is truly something. I never heard keyboards go that crazy. Then we have WUSB’s own Alice, dee-jay of Nightmare Aquarium. Without her, I wouldn’t have known who Ariel Pink and William Onyeabor were. I credit her for introducing me to the magically sublime Black Marble.
Nary did I have a day off during that Summer I moved in. I could only count four…maybe six total. The electronics place finally gave me full time, double-dealing between that and part-time at the Italian market. The only stand-out moment I had during the hotter months was getting lost somewhere in the sunny woodsy section of Mastic looking for Nicole’s residency which I did find an hour late. Nowadays, one listen to A Different Arrangement instantly takes me back to those June Sundays.
Autumn came. The days were getting cooler and darker. Driving past Argyle Pond coming home from work became a staple memory with synthwave vibes of “Fright Night” from Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti forever attached to it. Hospital Productions gave me another artist to savor in the Italian-based Ninos Du Brasil  with their dying-hot exotic techno sounds. Suicideyear would be distinct to the season and to Lindenhurst alone which makes their sound personal in my book. Another neighborhood memory, Dual Action’s “NC-17 Drive In”, is forever intertwined to the Autumn soul. Our WUSB hip-hop dee-jay Dr. Ceus played me SpaceGhostPurrp’s “Mystical Maze” adding another bookmark in this asterisk time. Mono/Poly’s “Alpha Omega”, Lussuria’s “Mondo Narcotico” and “Keys To Unlock Paradise (Roman Showers)” from American Babylon, Function & Vatican Shadow’s Games Have Rules, the obscure Axxa/Abraxas’ “Waiting Daze”, and selections from The Bug’s Angels & Devils left their imprints on another feel-good season at Lindenhurst.
Before I knew it, my streak of 83 straight days of work was finally broken a few days before Thanksgiving. I came to visit the market for my hours to see that I was written out of the grid. Week after week it became a normal occurrence. I’ve been giving them my other hours in time without fail but now no more results. No discussion, no rhyme or reason why. I was let go without any notice. It was a blessing, however. A soft end to six years of non-stop belittling, boys-club behavior, and endless soul-torturing has finally been put down to die.
Winter was where things started to get fucked for discoveries; like the ‘parenthesis’ in an equation. My ex- Yenny is leaving for Lima and she’s asked me to house-sit for her in Hauppauge. A two-week stay meant all music discoveries default there. A residency inside a residency. Before and after, XXYYXX’s only full-length and two finds from the Ze label Xmas Record, Suicide’s “Hey Lord” and Alan Vega’s “No More Christmas Blues” are embedded in those frosty, chilly Winter days back in Lindy-. The latter two would be put on pause as I walked a couple of blocks to the bagel place for a heavy baked breaded breakfast.
Then came a March announcement from my bro-: we’re moving to Ronkonkoma. This was unexpected. He was excited to start a new point in his life. His lady was expecting their second child and wanted something even nicer than what we have. There was no issue with where we lived. I had none and truly wanted to stay longer. But, what my bro- was selling us on that we’d upgrade from the slightly crowded residential streets, noise-polluting airplanes, and highways across every direction for a gentler, calmer, at-peace setting of historical context, well-manicured lawns, trails, veteran’s parks, and a 4.5 square-mile scenic lake. To me, Ronkonkoma was Record Stop on Portion Road, punk luminary Jimi LaLumia’s Record Connection on Hawkins Road, and what used to be Lakeside’s bar where I’d go for some small-scale but breakout-violent local hardcore shows. Other than LaLumia, none are still standing. It’s a new decade now; far away from the community-college shows and record-buying jaunts from the Stony Brook era. We had up until May 1st   to get everything together. The Lindenhurst finds dwindled down to nothing, and all the discoveries found that Spring ended up at the current residency we’re at now. It was time to say goodbye to my old furniture: the twin-sized bed, the old bookshelves, dressers, drawers, the gumball machine, and the Lafayette that was losing its functionality. We left all the small stuff in front of the gate and left the furniture behind. Goodbye Lindenhurst and hello Ronkonkoma.
**********
I can tell you that my very first experience in the new neighborhood was delightful and exotic. We were only a few blocks away from the new house. My dad had me pull up to our neighborhood 7-11 for his daily coffee. I grab a pack of Hostess chocolate cupcakes and behind the counter I see the perfect ginger. Bright long copper hair, brown eyes, freckles, and all of pale skin. Jackpot. She was a sight to be seen.
There was a line of five people in front of us with two registers open. Dad was more than ready to sip his coffee but was getting restless as the scalding hot was wearing off. Lucky for me, the young Indian kid took care of him. I put my Hostess on the counter for the ginger to ring up. She was quiet, expressionless. Tired, bored, introverted? Who knows. Who cares. She made quick work of my purchase and I was two more cupcakes happier. The day was off to a great start. I didn’t believe people like her existed.
She was my very first memory at the new neighborhood. I still remember her to this very day. There’s some faces you never forget.
Pharmakon “Xia Xinfeng”
Mass Production “Slow Bump”
Atari Teenage Riot “Modern Liars”
Peter Brown “For Your Love”
Black Marble A Different Arrangement
Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti “Schnitzel Boogie”
Purling Hiss “Don’t Even Try It”
Omar Souleyman “Kell Il Banat Inkhatban (All The Girls Are Engaged)“
Poly Styrene (as Mari Elliott) “Silly Billy”
L.I.E.S. label Music For Shut-Ins (2013)
Carbonas “September Gurls”
Predator “Honest Man”
Run The Jewels “Blockbuster Night Pt. 1”
Arca “Thievery”
Broadcast “Goodbye Girls”
Ariel Pink “Put Your Number In My Phone”
Ninos Du Brasil “Pandiero Sinchinsa”
NeruvianDOOM “Disastrous”
Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments “Please Hear My Plea”
Suicideyear “Hope Building A”
Hussy, The “EZ-PZ”
Carbonas “Frothing At The Mouth”
Krewe Of 77 “Three’s A Crowd”
Ekoplekz “Robert Rental”
Wara From The NBHD “Squeal (Peel Off)”
Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti “Fright Night (Never More)”
Mono/Poly “Alpha & Omega”
Casket Girls, The “Chemical Dizzy”
Bug, The “Void”
Suicideyear “Rememberance”
Standish / Carlyon “2 5 1 1”
Vereker “Rosite”
Ninos Du Brazil “Tuppelo”
SpaceGhostPurrp “Mystikal Maze”
Dual Action “NC-17 Drive In”
Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments ”Turntable Battlefield”
Bug, The “Swarm”
Suicideyear “I Don’t Care About Death Because I Smoke”
Travis Porter “Do A Trick” (Suicideyear RMX)
Ninos Du Brasil “Rebanho Espetacular”
Lussuria “Mondo Narcotico”
Function & Vatican Shadow Games Have Rules
Axxa/Abraxas “Waiting Daze”
Lussuria “Keys To Unlock Paradise (Roman Showers)”
Blossom Dearie “Sunday Afternoon”
XXYYXX “Witching Hour”
Alan Vega “No More Christmas Blues”
Suicide “Hey Lord”
XXYYXX “Fields”
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dracofancier · 2 years ago
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Growing Flame - Part 1 // Draco Malfoy x OC
Summary: Danielle Rudd was born to former Quidditch stars Cassius and Amelia Rudd. Both descended from very old wizarding families, which represent the old values. Values that Dany herself don't really represents. She coulnd't make it any more clear, as when she was sorted into Gryffindor in her first year at Hogwarts. Not a really pleasant thing, when your family is all Slytherin. Only Slytherin.
Warnings: A bit of language
A/N: Well hello. This is actually a really really old story, I've written a few years ago and now gets an overall revision. The original pairing was Cassius Warrington x OC / later DM x OC but I changed it to only DM x OC. Little info: English is not my first language, so excuse any grammar or word mistakes!
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August 17, 1994 - Rudd Mansion, Falmouth, Cornwall
Summer... Lazing around, doing nothing, lying in the sun. What more could you want?
I lie comfortably in the sun in our garden and read a book. My long blonde hair is tied back in a high ponytail. The water of the pool glistens, and nothing can disturb the peace. Or so I thought.
Suddenly I hear laughter coming towards me. I sit up and look towards the house. Does it have to be? The reason for the noise is my brother and his airheads of friends. They throw a quaffle at each other at a loud volume and come in my direction. I put the book down, annoyed. Suddenly I notice that I am lying here dressed only in a bathing suit, so I quickly grab my dress and put it on. I don't want to give the boys an extra reason to stare at me.
However, the boys run past me without even noticing me much. I recognise Blaise Zabini, Gregory Goyle, and cousin Theo Nott. Who else?
Zac, my twin brother, stops beside me for a moment. "Well, sis... Studying hard?" he teases me and then jumps into the water in front of me so that not only me but all my clothes get wet. "HA-HA," I say ironically and at least try to save my book.
"You read voluntarily in the summer holidays?" someone behind me asks me critically. I turn around in surprise, not expecting anyone else to be there, and spot Draco Malfoy in front of me, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. My breath catches in my throat for a moment. The way he's standing there, just in his swimming trunks, showing off his well-toned body. You never see him like this. I stare at him.
"Hey," I manage after what feels like an eternity and smile at him. A crooked grin appears on his face. It doesn't fit his usually arrogant manner at all. "Hey." he returns, and I have to pull myself together. The sun is reflected in his beautiful grey eyes, and his gleaming white teeth smile at me. "I uh- You okay?" I ask after what seems like an eternity, like a stupid chicken. What the hell is wrong with me?
"Hey Draco!" my twin brother calls from the water before Draco can answer me, and all the magic fades. It's like my brother is bringing us back to reality. "Stop flirting with my sister and get in the water already!" Flirting? Was he flirting with me? Draco gives me another glance before taking an elegant dive into the water.
And that was my cue. I get up, gather my things and make my way into the house. I open the heavy wooden door and step inside. Luckily, my parents have renovated the house, which is quite bright and modern compared to the homes of other pureblood families, thanks to my mother. I can hear her humming from the drawing room.
I continue up the stairs to the first floor, where, among other things, my room is. On the way to my room, I pass my father's study. I've slowly gotten used to the fact that he doesn't treat me like he did before Hogwarts. Ever since it came out that I didn't come to Slytherin, but to Gryffindor, I'm not worth as much to him as it seems.
Once in my room, I throw my things on the floor and lie on the bed. I stare at the ceiling for a while until something on the branch outside my window caption. My bed is enormous, and you could melt in it; it's so comfortable.
"Moon!" I say quickly and let my little owl into the room. "How long have you been sitting there? I was outside, my little one," I say to him and stroke his head gently. My little owl looks at me in confusion. He is not exactly the brightest. "What have you got for me?" I ask him and take the letter from him, which is tied around his foot. Moon then flies straight to his cage and pokes around in the grains. I shake my head and turn my attention to the letter.
Dear Dany
As you have probably noticed, the Quidditch World Cup is taking place in England this year.
Have I noticed? When you have two former professional Quidditch players as parents, it is the number one topic of conversation in our household. My brother gets to go with my father. I wasn't asked, of course.
Dad was able to get tickets and asked if we wanted to go too. Harry and Hermione are going too. Please come along. That would be so great. If you can and want to, we'll meet at the Burrow at about 6 pm on Sunday.
I look forward to seeing you.
Love to you Ginny
They have tickets? That's incredible. And they want to take me? Wait a minute... Sunday? It's Sunday. Where has Moon been that he's only just arrived?
I look at my little oddball, who has already fallen asleep. I roll my eyes for a moment and then jump up.
"Mum!" I shout from the room. I run down the stairs and into the lounge. "Mum!" I call out again. "What is it, little one?" my mother asks me. "The Weasleys have invited me to go to the World Cup with them," I babble. "What?" my mother asks me in surprise. I hold out the letter to her, and she reads through it.
"May I? Please, please, please," I beg, and mum looks at me skeptically. "With the Weasleys?" she asks slightly dismissively. "Mum! It's the Quidditch World Cup! It was last in England thirty years ago! Please!" I say again firmly, and it works. Mum makes a thoughtful face. "Hmm... All right, fine by me," she says and puts the letter on the table. "Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! I detach myself from her and run out. "I'm going to the Burrow today, Mom," I shout over my shoulder and run straight into my father. He looks at me grimly.
"What's going on here?" he snaps at me, but my mother draws his attention. "Your daughter is going to the Quidditch World Cup, my love," she says, glancing at me briefly before giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. That's the sign I should leave. I sneak backward out of the room and run back up the stairs. Ginny knows Moon, and I assume she assumes he didn't fly straight to me. Answering Ginny now would be pointless, especially I don't think I can wake Moon yet. I'll just go there.
I quickly pack up all my things. I assume that Ginny meant for us to all get to the Hogwarts Express together after the World Cup.
"Well, are you ready yet?" asks my mother, who is suddenly standing in the doorway. "Almost," I say curtly, throwing the last of my things into my suitcase and closing it. However, I have to sit on the suitcase to be able to close it. The shopping trip to Paris with my mother has thus borne its fruit. "You can't take the suitcase like that," my mother says, taking out her magic wand. She points it at my suitcase and Moon's cage. "Reducio," she says, and things magically shrink.
"Thanks, Mum," I say and smile at her. "It's all right, angel." Then she looks at her watch and back at me. "You have to go," she says, and we walk down to the entrance hall. There is our big fireplace. I hug my mother tightly and then break away from her. "I'll miss you," I say, and a tear steals into my eye. "I'll miss you too, angel. I'll see you at the platform and Christmas at the latest," she hugs me again.
I take my downsized suitcase and Moon's cage and stand in the fireplace. Then I grab a handful of flea powder and say, "BURROW!" I throw the powder at my feet. Immediately I am surrounded by the Green Flames and standing in the burrow.
Draco's POV: Dripping wet, we enter the Rudds' house. The fact that I still saw Dany made my day. Of course, I would never admit that.
Mrs. Rudd is already waiting for us in the house. "Hello, everyone. How was it outside?" she asks us, friendly. "Excellent, Mrs. Rudd. A really nice cool down," Miles answers her politely. "Are you staying for dinner?" she then asks. Unfortunately, Theo, Goyle, and Miles have to decline as their parents expect them.
"Blaise? Draco? What about you guys?" she turns to us. "I'd love to, Amelia, that's very nice," I answer her politely, and Blaise also agrees happily. "Very well. Then why don't you go upstairs and put on something dry? I will order the house elves to prepare something," she says and disappears into the kitchen.
Miles, Goyle, and Theo say goodbye to us and disappear home via the flea network. Blaise, Zac, and I go to his room and change. I take a quick look at Dany's locked room door. I spot a Gryffindor banner on the door, which makes me shake my head. She must have put it up with some insoluble glue to annoy her father.
I wonder what she's doing right now.
We change, and downstairs Amelia and Cassius are already waiting for us at the dining table. I am disappointed to see that the table is only set for five. Zac must have noticed that too. "Where is Dany?" he asks his mother, giving his father a skeptical look. The latter, however, ignores the whole thing. "She's with friends. She left about an hour ago." I give Zac a knowing look. "Surely not to those Weasleys?" he asks dismissively. I hear Mr. Rudd huff out angrily at the name. Amelia gives him a stern look.
"She's been invited by them to the World Cup. She'll be returning to Hogwarts straight from there too."
Danielle is at the World Cup? Then I can see her again tomorrow. A tiny spark of joy ignites in my belly. Even though she'll be there with the Weasley scum, and I'm sure she'll be there with Saint Potter and the Mudblood Granger. Anyway. I will hopefully see her.
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djarinbarnes · 4 years ago
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Silent Night - Bucky Barnes
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THIS IS A DARK FIC. IF YOU’RE UNDER 18, PLEASE DNI.
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Author: Dina
Word Count: roughly 15k
Pairing: Dark!Bucky Barnes x innocent(?)!female reader
Warnings: dark!bucky, dark!fic, 18+, loss of virginity, dubcon, noncon (to be safe), smut, age gap (18 and 36), pwp, unprotected sex, male masturbation, abuse of power, anal sex, somnophilia, anal play, toys, drugging, forced oral, spitting, slapping, slight bondage... a whole lot of things.
Summary: Bucky has always put his best friend’s daughter first. She’s like the niece he never had. He’s recently become more and more infatuated with her, and when he sees a window of opportunity, he decides to act upon it.
A/N: Well damn, here it is! This is a long one 😇 Some of you have read this before, but now it has been rewritten and finished ♡
For Kaley, Sab, Gracie and Nahema. I wouldn’t have finished this without you ♡
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Dear diary.
This is the story of how I really lost my virginity. I know that no one is going to see this, but I figured writing about it would make it seem better. Easier.
It’s something I’ve been reluctant to share with anybody until now. A lot of things have happened since I wrote to you last. You’ve heard about this man before.
He’s been my father’s best friend for years. Since they were boys. Best man at my parent’s wedding, there in the waiting room the day I was born, present at every birthday party since then. Giving me presents, treating me with so much love.
Uncle Bucky, as he’d come to be named in our family, had watched me grow up and I was his princess. The niece he never had. He showered me with everything a little girl could wish for. We had secrets. It was just something that was shared between the two of us.
But once I turned eighteen, something changed in Bucky. His fondness of me turned into an obsession. I felt it like a pendulum changing its magnetic attraction point. Every time he was over at our house, he would become distracted.
I’ve known all along what made him distracted. It was something I reveled in. But he knew he couldn’t do anything while my dad was around. So, he came up with a plan to get me alone.
Friday, 3:21pm
Going away with Bucky for the weekend as a graduation present seemed like everything she had hoped for. She would finally be free from her parents, even if it was only a weekend. She made her way around her room cheerily, throwing some random pieces of clothing along with her bathing suit, a towel and some toiletries into her bag, feeling her stomach jump slightly.
When Bucky had given her a weekend getaway to his lake house as a graduation present last week, she had been overjoyed. Finally, she had the chance to feel a little bit alive, since her parents hadn’t let her celebrate graduation with her classmates.
A gift from your favorite uncle! Had been scrawled into the card in Bucky's messy handwriting. She just knew he’d been standing at the florists, greasy hands stuffed in his pockets, nervously buying 18 red roses for her. Bucky had always made sure she had everything. He was her dad's coolest friend, and he would spoil her as much as he could.
It hadn't taken a lot of persuasion from her side to let her parents agree to hang out with Bucky for a weekend. He'd babysat her before when she was younger, but it was different now that she’d turned 18. The rules they had set were minimum, but they were there. No drinking, no nothing they wouldn’t do. A little more loose than usual, but she appreciated it, nonetheless.
Her parents, Steve and Peggy, had grown uptight over the last few years, and everything was about keeping her safe and keeping boys away from her. There was always an excuse as to why she couldn’t go to a party or why she couldn’t go on a date with Peter, the guy she had been studying with at school.
Peter was a good kid; she knew that much. He never tried anything with her, and always held back when she would flirt with him during their study sessions at the library. Even that one time she’d tried to hold his hand, he’d shrugged her off and excused himself for the day.
She never figured out why he didn’t want her affection, but she found out soon after, when she saw him kiss his best friend just after the graduation ceremony. It’d hurt – a lot – but she figured it was for the better. A day didn’t even pass before she was laughing at her obliviousness.
This year, when she’d finally turned 18, she’d hoped that everything would settle down with her parents and they’d loosen the restraints on her, but she was wrong. Apparently now, there was even more reason for keeping her home and away from boys. She figured they were afraid of her getting knocked up or something along the lines of that.
The only man she’d see on a regular basis out of school was Uncle Bucky. He and her father would always be working on their motorcycles in front of the garage, and she would watch them from her window on the first floor. She’d found her window to be a great place to keep an eye on them – on him.
She knew that Bucky worked out a lot and put a lot of effort into looking good on a daily basis, but there was just something captivating about him when his hands were covered in grease, strands of his hair falling from the half bun at the back of his head, the sweat glistening on his skin in the sun. He was attractive. And very much so.
If he was only ten years younger and not her father’s best friend, she would’ve been more than interested in him. Well, she was interested… But she knew that her father wouldn’t ever allow something like it, let alone… No. It just wasn’t happening.
Detaching herself from her train off thoughts and zipping up her weekend bag, she heard a car honk from the driveway. She made her way over to the window and a smile spread across her face as she saw Bucky’s sleek, black convertible pull up. She hurried over to her bag, making sure she had everything before nearly jumping down the stairs to get out of the house.
“Bye dad! Bye mom!” she yelled just as she pushed open the door, making her way to Bucky who was now leaning against the hood of his car. When he noticed her approaching, he pushed his body off the hood and opened his arms for her, letting her run into his warm embrace with a giggle. A muttered hi was shared between the two of them before he pulled away, walking around the hood to open the car door for her.
Giving her bag to Bucky before he shut the passenger door made her stomach flutter slightly. She hears the trunk opening and closing, and when he slides into the driver’s seat beside her and pulls out of the driveway, he's already telling jokes and making her laugh.
It was gonna be a fun weekend, she expected that much. She had great plans.
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Friday, 4:02pm
Arriving at his lake house had her eyes widening. It was like a whole new house. There had been added an extension to the main house since she was here last summer, and the front porch had been painted white. Bucky parked the car, and she threw open the door of the car, getting out in one fluid motion.
"Wow! This is amazing Bucky!" she smiled at him as they both ventured up the stairs to his front porch. Bucky unlocked the door and they both stepped into the house. She’s taken aback once again.
"This is so much neater than the last time I was here!"
The whole place has been fully renovated, and there's newer, modern furniture complimenting the freshly painted walls. She admires the giant painting on the furthest wall and remembers the unfinished canvas that had been sitting untouched in one of her parent’s rooms last year.
“He finished it.” She smiled and stepped closer to it, admiring the thick, colorful paint strokes upon the black background. She heard Bucky’s footsteps behind her, trailing back through his house.
"Check out the view." She hears Bucky's voice from somewhere in the kitchen. She places her bag on one of the chairs in the living room, walking over to the glass sliding doors that lead out to the back garden, and she bursts out into a smile.
The lake you once had to walk through trees to get to, is now visible from where she’s standing. The belt of trees has been cut down, and the trunks has been dug up. She could see further than ever. She could even see the water supply tower that showed where the city began. If she squinted, she could see her parents’ backyard.
"This is incredible! I wish we lived here," she sighed and turned to find Bucky standing in the doorway. If she’d known of the way Bucky’s heart had thumped in his chest at her revelation, her smile would fall immediately. She internally begged to whomever, that Bucky hadn’t noticed her say we. Instead, he spoke up about something else.
"You still have to see the new amenities." A smile tugged on Bucky's lips.
"What amenities?" He knew she’d love what he’d installed for her, and only her. She’d talked about it for weeks on end the past five summers, and during the winter he’d finally found the time and materials to fulfill her dreams.
"The pool." his eyes glinted with something near mischief. Her eyes widened along with her smile.
"You have a pool? That's amazing!" Just the reaction he’d hoped for. He loved it when she lit up like fairy lights, her eyes filling with glee. It made his heartbeat faster in his chest.
"Did you bring your suit?" she didn't know if she heard it right, but it seemed that his voice had dropped an octave. She nodded as she grabbed her bikini out of her bag, making her way to the newly renovated bathroom to change.
Bucky watched her as she with a giggle made her way through his house, her arms wrapped around her form to shield her nakedness from the older man, who subtly tried to not look at her. “You’re not joining me?” her innocent voice filled his ears and he shut his eyes tightly before turning just a bit away from her.
“No, I’ve got some things to do. Maybe later.” His eyes quickly came up as he heard the sliding door open, watching her ass as she made her way from the patio door to the point where she descended the built-in stairs into the newly built pool.
He felt his cock twitch in his pants, the sight of her in her skimpy purple bikini was making the blood flow to his cock at an undeniable speed. He watched as her shoulders shuddered before she dived under water, her perky ass just caressing the surface from below.
He clenched his jaw before turning on his heel, the image of her half naked body burned into his retina. He needed to get it out of his system, and he needed to do it fast. He knew that there was no way he would ever forget what he had just seen, but either way he had to do something about the situation in his pants.
Making his way into the bathroom nearest the pool, he quickly unbuckled his pants and shoved both them and his underwear down to his thighs. His cock sprung free, slapping against his stomach, hard and proud and he spat into his hand before gripping it tightly, letting out a strangled groan.
"Fuck yes, god you're such a fucking tease..." his head rolled back as he moved his hand, keeping a tight grip around the shaft, imagining her lithe body taking his cock, all of his cock. “Bet you know what you’re doing to me. Bet you know how I feel about you.” His last words were followed by a groan.
The veins pulsated beneath his fingers as he let his head fall forward and he opened his eyes, watching as he fucked into his hand. He saw her body before him, drenched in the cool water of the pool, goosebumps rising on her skin, and he let out another strangled groan, god, he was so close.
It was unlike any time he’d ever jerked off to the vision of her. It was intensified – by powers he didn’t know where from. Maybe it was from her being close. So close he could reach out and claim her as his – just like he’d always wanted to.
He felt the well-known tightening in this scrotum, this time so powerful they drove tears to his eyes. God – he wanted her so badly it hurt. Yet, he had to restrain himself for the time being, he thought, as the movements of his hand picking up speed and he sucked in a breath just as he felt the surge of euphoria overcome him, and-
"Oh my god, Bucky I'm so sorry!"
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Friday, 4:43pm
The air that hits her when she emerges from the water is cold. She’s shivering as she throws her arms around herself, making her way up the stairs and inside the house.
She has no idea where Bucky went, so light on her toes, arms trying to warm her torso, she makes her way to the nearest bathroom to take a warm shower. Her teeth are clattering, her frame littered with goosebumps as she trod lightly through the slightly warmer house.
She stops on one foot when she hears a sound, a sound that resembles a moan an awful lot. It can’t be. She approaches the half-open door cautiously, thinking her next move over at least a thousand times before she finally gives in and pushes the door open wider, making her halt completely.
There, in all his glory is Bucky, touching himself for whomever may have walked in to see. That whomever being her. She lets out a shriek before turning her back to him. “Oh my god, Bucky I’m so sorry!” She squeezes her eyes shut tightly, the embarrassment warming up her body quickly as she hears a rustling of clothes behind her.
She silently prays that he isn’t mad at her for walking in on such an intimate moment for him. It lit something inside of her, though, seeing him all hot and bothered for her. Everything that she’s ever imagined about him was definitely an understatement. She hears his footsteps behind her and soon after the heat radiating off his chest against her back, before he speaks up.
“Don’t worry about it,” His voice is so deep she can barely recognize it. “The bathroom is all yours.”
She locks eyes with him as he walks past her, his pupils blown wide like she’s never seen them before. She wraps her arms tighter around herself, trying to cover up from his prying eyes. She nods her head slightly before turning on her heel, walking into the bathroom.
She makes sure the door is locked behind her before she strips herself of her bikini, making sure to hang them to dry on the small, heated towel rack, before finding a towel under the sink where he usually keeps them.
The shower she takes is as long as it usually would take, only now her thoughts are occupied with flashes of Bucky touching himself. Why was he touching himself? Her mind wanders to who the reason could be. She knew he’d had a girlfriend named Natasha once – she was beautiful and had lips like the fullest, reddest cherry – she looked like every man’s wet dream.
She also knew from photos that he’d had a long-time girlfriend in high school through college named Dot – brunette and curvy and with the prettiest facial features she’d ever laid her eyes upon – all the women she had known Bucky to date were so beautiful, he could only think of either them or some hot porn stars he’d probably seen online.
But why now while she was here? Her eyes rolled back as she let out a whimper, her fingers gliding between her smooth, velvet lips, the vision of his hand gliding along the smooth skin of his cock letting her imagination run wild.
Her eyes went wide when she realized what she was doing, and she quickly retracted her fingers from where she now felt a certain warmth spread. She let out a deep sigh as she rested her head against the wall of the shower, the warm water still cascading down her back, heating her freezing limbs.
She finished her shower reluctantly before drying herself off, groaning inwardly as she realized she’d forgotten to bring clean panties and even clean clothes with her to the bathroom in the furry of awkward seconds between her and Bucky. She went over the possibilities she had in her head before searching the bathroom, letting out a small yes! when she found one of Bucky’s clean shirts in one of the small cabinets.
Thinking he didn’t mind, she slipped it over her head and vowed to herself to apologize to him when she saw him next. The shirt felt way too comfortable than it should have, and it instantly warmed her torso, before she pulled it down as far as it would go, just below the apex of her thighs.
She let out a sigh before unlocking the door, listening for a few second to hear where Bucky was located in the house. She heard the washing machine click open and she closed her eyes with another sigh, leaving the safe perimeters where she wouldn’t face embarrassment.
Tiptoeing through the hallway, she made her way into the living room to locate her bag. It felt so wrong to walk around Bucky’s house sin panties. She hears steel clashing in the laundry room, startling her. She lets out a small huff of air before pulling out a pair of lace panties from her bag, before sliding them on under the long shirt.
She’s shuffling through her bag when she’s once again startled by Bucky, this time by his voice.
“You’re wearing my shirt.” She whips around quickly with a small yelp, lace bra and t-shirt in hand. Her eyes widen as she realizes what she’s holding, quickly swinging her hands behind her back to hide the garments. He sees them, though, and it relights his fire even more vigorously than before.
“Shit, Bucky.” She lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding as she relaxed under his intense stare. “I’m sorry, I’d forgotten to bring clean clothes with me to the bathroom. I’ll go change right now.” she turns back to her bag to find a pair of pants, laying the garments already in her hand on the couch.
She tenses when she feels a body behind her; a set of hands sliding up her hips, thumbs tracing the outline of her panties over the fabric of her-Bucky’s shirt. She knows his eyes are watching her like a vulture, taking in her legs extending from where his shirt stops, surely imagining what’s hidden underneath. Her breaths come out shaky and she gulps down the lump that has formed in her throat before her eyes flutter closed.
His nose finds its way into her hair, inhaling deeply before exhaling again, his fingers now venturing under the shirt she’s wearing. She feels some kind of warmth spreading where his fingertips graze her skin, just over the fabric of her panties resting on her hip. It’s like his fingers are fire and her hips are timbers – only waiting to be alighted.
“You know…” his voice is still low, just as it was when she encountered him in the bathroom. “I’ve been having a hard time ignoring the looks you’ve sent me.” His fingers slide smoothly from her hip to the middle of her abdomen, slowly tracing small, imaginary circles on her stomach. She shudders under his touch as it brings warmth into her core, and she’s biting her lip to keep a whimper from escaping them.
Bucky was right. She couldn’t deny that she was attracted to him. Who wouldn’t be? He was handsome, funny and so undeniably nice. She wasn’t sure that the attraction she’d felt towards Bucky for the past few years was reciprocated. She was definitely sure now, that his fingertips we’re playing with the hem of her panties.
“Bucky…” Her eyes flutter open as her hand clasps over his, halting his movements from traveling further south. She turns in his arms, facing him, finally taking in his lust blown eyes, his parted lips and the light blush adorning his cheeks. He looks angelic. Young. It makes her heart leap in her chest.
“Tell me you don’t feel it. Tell me this isn’t just something I’m imagining.” His half-lidded eyes search hers in an attempt to ground himself. His right arm comes around her middle to pull her closer, her hands coming up to lay against his chest. She feels the arousal radiating off him. Warmth, and a little further south, hardness.
“Tell me you don’t want me, and I’ll stop.” His face nears hers, and she feels her heart hammering in her chest. Her breath hitches in her throat when she feels his lips caress hers gently. Just a small graze of soft skin against soft skin, his stubble tickling her chin and his hand tightening its hold on her shirt.
It’s cliché to say that she feels fireworks as his lips grazes hers – maybe from the fact that she’s closer to any man other than her father for the first time, or that she’s just been kissed for the first time. The whole thing is making her head spin, and in that moment, she knows what she has to do.
“We can’t. Not yet,” She breathes out, letting her eyes flutter shut. She feels his warm breath fanning over her lips, the arm around her waist going slack and a deep sigh emitting from Bucky’s throat. He was just about to pull away from her when she grips his shirt in her hands.
“I’m sorry Bucky. I just… You’re my dad’s best friend. I could never look him in the eyes again if we…” she trails off, the embarrassment overcoming her. She looks up at him, eyes glossy from the whirlwind of feelings clashing inside of her. “I’ve never… He’s so strict. I’m sorry if I led you on in any way. I’m not used to male attention.”
Bucky lets out a heartless laugh, taking a step back and brushing her hands off him as if their encounter had never happened. His actions confuse her. He surely must have seen the emotional turmoil she just went through?
“You want burger for dinner? I bought this sauce that’s great with the minced beef.” He turns on his heel and leaves the room without saying anything else. Her brows furrows at his behavior. What the fuck just happened? He leaves her dumbfounded in the living room, her confused eyes following his back until he disappears behind a wall.
In the kitchen, Bucky has pulled out everything he needed to make dinner. His jaw tightens as he goes over her refusal yet again. She’s never what? was his first thought. Then all the pieces clicked when she’d said the next sentence. I’m not used to male attention.
Of course, he knew that she had never been with a guy, let alone a man. Her father told him more than enough, and it made a sinister smile spread along his face, as another branch in his plans takes form.
He will get what he wants.
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Friday, 6:32pm
She had expected dinner to be an awkward affair. For her it certainly was – but it seemed like nothing had happened just a few hours before on Bucky’s account. He appeared completely unfazed by his previous actions, and it made her shudder, sitting across from him, picking at her burger. She hears his cutlery hit the plate and her eyes shoot up, seeing the empty plate where his burger had been resting less than five minutes prior.
“So, I’m thinking we have some things to talk about.” His voice startles her, since they had eaten in almost complete silence, the only sound during dinner was the cutlery and chewing.
“What things?” she felt nervous as the words left her mouth, letting her gaze fall back to the burger on her plate. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know. She’d been cooped up in his study since their encounter in the living room, not ready to face him until she had to.
“Firstly, what happened in the bathroom.” Her eyes shot up, his eyes looking directly into hers. Her mouth falls open, before closing again. She feels the blush creeping up into her cheeks. “I find it only fair that you’ve seen me masturbate, and I you, seeing that you did touch yourself in the shower.”
Her eyes widen impossibly more, a lump forming in her throat as she took in his words. “You… You watched me?” She blinked before her eyes sought to her burger yet again, the embarrassment becoming too much. How he had noticed her, was a mystery. Surely, she’d heard him leave, but she hadn’t heard him return. Maybe she was caught up in her thoughts… But she was quiet. Wasn’t she? Was there something he wasn’t-
“I heard you through the door, darling. You’re very loud. You know that, right?” She lets out a shaky breath before standing from her seat, backing a few steps from the table, into the living room. She watches as Bucky rises from his seat as well, following her as she tried to make the space bigger between the two of them.
Bucky looks at her longingly. He had to admit she looked breathtaking, even though she was scared and angry. There was a slight twinkle in her eye though, one of which could be a hope to escape whatever he had in store for her. It dawned on Bucky, that she probably had no idea what he had planned to do to her, and he smirked when her eyes darted around, not being able to focus on anything.
“What is you want from me, Bucky?” Her voice was shaking when she finally spoke. He shook his head with a slight laugh. She must have known by now. He basically told her everything in the living room. Confessed his feelings for her. Admitting without words.
“Oh baby… You’re still so innocent.” Her back hit the wall of his living room, her breath hitching in her throat. He came impossibly closer, caging her up against the wall. “Come on now… We tried this the easy way. Give into me.”
His hand tangled in her hair before he buried his nose in it, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo. With a hand tightly fisting her hair, the other found its way under her shirt. She let out a sob as she felt the cup give into Bucky’s pull, the soft flesh of her breast spilling out of the cup.
“Bucky please…” She tried to reason, trying to turn away from his grasp. She felt his hand leave her hair to hold her throat as the hand under her shirt it made its way down her torso, popping the button of her pants.
She froze as his fingers slid into her panties, her eyes widening in surprise. It surprised her that the hold on her neck had the effect on her it did – it scared her as well.
“What are you- no!” she cried out as she felt one of his fingers burying itself into her entrance. Another digit joined the first shortly after, making her gasp. Bucky had her trapped, and he enjoyed it. His hand left her throat and found her cheek, stroking a fallen tear away lovingly while he pushed his fingers deeper into her, his thumb grazing her clit roughly.
“I’ll make you feel good. I promise, baby.” His fingers picked up the pace as she felt a coil tighten in her stomach. She tried to fight the pleasure that was forced upon her, the tears falling from her eyes freely by now. She felt the coil snap, and with a cry she came around Bucky’s fingers reluctantly. Her cunt clenching around his fingers felt like heaven, and at that moment, he was sure this was what heaven felt like.
“Such a good girl. You like that, huh baby?” His breath fanned over her face, the air coming off as cold on her drying cheeks. She shook her head with a sob, sucking in a breath through her nose, even though she desperately wanted to agree.
She felt Bucky retract his fingers from her panties, bringing them to his lips before sucking them into his mouth. Watching his fingers covered in her slick disappearing between his lips made her heart hammer impossibly harder in her chest.
“So goddamn sweet. Like honey, darling. You’re just hiding this sweet pussy, huh?” His filthy words take her aback, and her mouth falls open in shock. She doesn’t know what to say. Baffled, she barely feels when he lifts her by the thighs, carrying her into his bedroom, where he throws her on the bed. As her back collides with his soft covers, she’s finally pulled out of the trance.
“Bucky…” her voice is quivering as his hands tug her pants down her legs, goosebumps rising as she feels his stubble against her thighs, her calves, her feet. His lips trace their way up the inside of her legs, her eyes widening again as she realizes what he’s doing now.
“Bucky, please, don’t!” she whimpers, but to no avail. Bucky buries his nose into her mound, inhaling her scent, just as the words leave her mouth. She whimpers when she realized it feels good, even though it shouldn’t.
“Such a lovely girl… Such a lovely pussy…” His words unsettle her, making her stomach twist. She tries to push at his head with her hands, whining as she feels his teeth nip at her clit. He can feel her panicking underneath him, and it makes him smile.
She feels the fabric tighten against her skin before she hears it tear, and shortly after his mouth latches onto her clit. She silently sobs out, arms and legs thrashing about. His hands push up her legs, at the same time collecting her hands in his, tightening his hold on her. She feels the ability to move becoming harder, and she sobs again out as his tongue flicks her clit harshly.
“Stay still, darling… Or this will get worse.” Her eyes widen as she takes in his words. Worse? What could be worse than this? She was unable to kick him, unable to slap him. She was unable to push him away, unable to stop him from invading her body.
In her haze, she barely registers her climax building before it hits her, making her cry out as ecstasy takes over her body. The muscles in her legs tighten around him, her whole body shaking from the earth-shattering orgasm unlike anything she’s ever felt before. Her mind is in a haze so deep, she could barely tell right from wrong anymore.
Having Bucky in between her legs felt so right, like the two of them fit together as puzzle pieces. At the same time, she knew it was wrong – so wrong. She felt herself thrash around from her oversensitivity; her mind completely detached from her body. Her gaze fell to where Bucky was placed between her legs, and she let out a moan at how sinful he appeared, his pupils blown wide, and a wide grin plastered on his face.
She shivered at the feral look in his eyes as he peppered kisses up her stomach, pushing up her shirt and pulling down her bra, sucking one of her nipples into his mouth. She let out a wanton moan, for a short moment forgetting the situation. His lip around her perked nipples is making her pussy gush with want. She watches as he pulls his shirt over his head, baring his muscular torso to her prying eyes.
“Gonna make you feel so good, baby.” He breathes out against her skin, goosebumps rising on her skin where his breath had hit. “You’re not gonna want any other man than me when I’m done with you.” She feels his hands working in between her legs, her senses kicking in when she realizes his hands are working on unbuttoning his pants.
Tears start streaming down her face again, her head thrashing around, whimpers leaving her mouth as fear takes over her body for real. Her hands come to rest against his shoulders, trying to push him away. “Bucky, please…” she whimpers, trying to restrain him from taking her most sacred possession from her, but to no avail.
With one swift thrust he pushes inside of her. She shuts her eyes tightly, the pain unimaginable. There’s a soaring pain in between her legs, with Bucky’s cock stretching her ever so painfully. She realizes he’s stopped moving, letting her body adjust to him as her walls pulsed around his throbbing member. Whimpers are leaving her mouth, short puffs of breaths landing against the skin of his pectoral muscle.
Bucky smirks triumphantly down at her. Knowing he had been her first stirred something inside him. A sob escaped her as she started to cry audibly, his hands sliding down her sides to grasp her hips in his hands. He locks her legs around his waist, driving himself deeper into her, his thrusts hard and pace increasing. He watches her face through half-lidded eyes, soft groans falling from his lips.
Her walls were milking him, her body begging for him to come. He buries his face into the crook of her shoulder as his thrusts picks up the pace further, uncontrollable and with no rhythm at all. He’s thrusting into her most sensitive spot, earning a few moans from her lips before she’s coming undone around him, her body trembling as her walls convulsed around Bucky’s cock, tears streaming down her cheeks. She feels Bucky burying himself deeply inside her before he’s coming right after her with a load groan.
His hair is tickling her nose – she can smell his scent – pine, fresh air, Bucky. It suddenly felt alright. A sense of calm washes over her, the sense of familiarity making her relax slightly. As she feels him shift on top of her, her mind goes back into freeze mode, her eyes widening as he lifts his torso off hers. The two of them were still connected.
Bucky found her scent intoxicating, and he knew she weren’t done yet. He wasn’t done yet. Her expression turned into fear, unlike anything Bucky had seen before. “Baby, don’t look at me like that…” His voice was sulky, as if he didn’t deserve to attend to her fear.
“We’re nowhere near done yet.”
Fear surged through her body as the words fell from his lips. She didn’t want this. Not again. She wanted to cry and scream for him to stop. She had spilled so many tears already, and her screaming had left her throat dry and hoarse.
“Please Bucky…” Her body was tired, and she was emotionally drained. He shifted on top of her, his hands grasping her ankles and flipping her over before lifting her hips, bringing her to her hands and knees. He got on his knees behind her, just as she pushed her face into the bedsheets, letting out a sob as his hands brushed their way up the skin of her back.
“God you’re so delicate. Like a petal of the most exquisite rose.” She felt his breath on her butt cheeks. She let out a sob, realizing how close he actually was to her most private area. She felt his teeth bite into her left cheek and heard him let out a hum of appreciation.
“So good for me, huh baby?” The sob she let out just seconds before had escalated into full on crying – only lacking tears since she was so tired. She’s begging him to let her go, to stop for now, but she knew he wouldn’t listen. She felt his hands grab at her waist roughly, positioning himself and plunging back inside of her used cunt.
It didn’t even sound like she was screaming. Maybe all it was, was a weak screech and she quickly gave up, letting him have his way with her overly sensitive body. She was still wet – her come and his mixing together inside of her. Bucky used it as makeshift lube, sliding into her easily. Her hands turned into fists as she realized his hold on her hips would make it impossible for her to wiggle away from him.
A soft yelp left her lips as the newfound position made his thrusts seem impossibly deeper. She could hear Bucky hum behind her, compliment her as he took her, letting her know how pleased he was to finally have her. She tried to cancel out the sound of their bodies meeting – wet and slick sounds of his cock plunging its way deeply inside of her, and she gasped as she felt him get rougher again.
He slammed into her, groaning for her to follow him, to come with him, making her cry out. Bucky hit her cervix repeatedly, painfully, again and again until she came a fourth time, her body pulling and clenching around him, begging him to let go, and he came yet again with a loud groan.
He stroked her back lovingly as he almost collapsed against her back, her legs quivering underneath the weight of their bodies. It took Bucky a while to remove himself from her, but when he did, he didn’t hesitate to clean her up thoroughly, making sure she was perfect for him.
“Come on darling, roll over for me.” Bucky commanded, and she simply let out a deep breath and moaned. She couldn’t do it. She didn’t have the strength and the will anymore. All she wanted to do was to hide away from the world. From Bucky.
“Roll over for me.” He said again, this time punctuating all four words, rolling his eyes as she let out a whine in protest. He ended up grabbing her waist and turning her over himself, laying her down before laying down himself and pulling her into his arms.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” his hands slid down the curve of her waist, fingers drawing imaginary circles on her hipbone. She let out a huff before hiding her face in his neck, feeling her eyes wet with tears yet again. They slid down her cheek and landed in the crevice of his collarbone, pooling among droplets of sweat from their sex.
“You did so good, darling. I’m so proud of you.” A wracked sob left her at his words. She felt him bury his nose into her hair, his lips peppering kisses onto her scalp as he softly shushed her, his arms gently rocking her as he let her cry.
“It’s all gonna be okay darling, I’ll take care of you.” With that, she fell into a dreamless slumber.
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Saturday, 9:21am
Bucky watched her as the soft morning sun peeked through his curtains, which wasn’t drawn the whole way. Her eyelashes laid softly against her rosy cheeks; her eyelids still puffy from the crying she did last night. His eyes studied her face calmly before traveling down her naked, uncovered body, his head propped up on his arm, his temple laying against his fist.
His eyes fell on her breasts, admiring her perked nipples and the small stretchmarks pointing to the rosy bud. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, his fingers reaching out to graze the soft skin under her breast. His hand made its way down the curve of her waist, pushing down the covers laying against her skin.
As her navel was revealed, Bucky felt his cock twitch. Images from last night of her body underneath him filled his mind, how good she felt around his cock, how deliciously sinful her moans had filled his ears, how fucking good her slick tasted on his tongue… He was definitely in deep.
How she managed to calm herself down after more than two hours of crying and sobbing through what he had forced upon her, to now look more peaceful and beautiful as ever blew his mind. Her eyelids fluttered before she shifted slightly, her hand coming up to rub at her eyes.
He didn’t fight the want to stroke at her hair, so that’s what he did. He lifted his hand and pushed a strand behind her ear, his thumb stroking her cheekbone afterwards. To Bucky’s surprise she leaned into his touch, a small smile tugging at her lips.
It dawned on him that she, at this moment, wasn’t awake enough to remember what had transpired last night. She stretched her arms in front of her, hands landing against Bucky’s shoulder and pectoral muscles, and her eyes fluttered open quickly as she withdrew her hands hurriedly.
“Bucky?” her voice quivered before her bottom lip started wobbling – her face twisting with realization. Her eyes widened at her undressed state, not fully covered by the covers, and she yanked the fabric up to cover her breasts while sitting up slightly.
“Morning beautiful.” He watched as her muscles tensed before she relaxed slightly. Her lips move on their own accord as she whispers out a morning. “How are you feeling?” His hand came out to grasp hers, and she lets him take it.
“A little bit sore…” his thumb grazes over the back of her hand and she watches it as it slides over the skin, tracing the path of the veins trailing underneath the flesh. “I uh…” She bites her lip as she twists her hand in his, grasping his hands in hers.
“Mhm, what is it darling? Don’t go being all shy on me now” He watched her hand in his, feeling his heart jump slightly, feeling some sort of domestication by looking at her. The words that left her mouth shortly after took him by surprise.
“Can I see it?” she sucked her lip back between her teeth before she let out a giggle. “Your cock?”
Bucky’s mouth fell open at her choice of words before he let the covers slide down his body slowly, revealing his semi-hard cock to her. The sight of it made her inhale sharply, taking in the size of it. She realized she had barely seen it the previous day in the bathroom, since it looked even bigger now. Was that really inside of her last night? Bucky felt a smile tug on his lips as he watched her face, contorted in admiration.
“You can touch it… Come on, I’ll show you how.” He watches as she bites her lip, before the hand that was holding hers tugged her hand down to his cock. She shifts closer to him as her fingers graze over the length of his cock, before gripping the base softly, nimble fingers wrapping around his girth.
His cock is heavy and warm in her hand, pulsing beneath her fingers. It somehow makes her mouth water, and she feels a sudden urge to do more than just jerk Bucky off. She doesn’t give into the temptation though, deciding that this should be enough for now. She hears Bucky suck in a breath as he watches her.
“Just like that, move your hand up and down slowly, maybe tighten your grip a little bit… when you get to the head…” She did as he told her, watching as her fingers pulls the foreskin down, before coming back up to the head of his cock. Her head whips around as she hears a groan leave his lips.
His eyes were hooded, watching her movements, eyes scanning over her body, before coming up to her face. “God you’re beautiful…” She tightened her hand further, quickening her movements. She looked into his eyes and held his gaze as she pumped his cock. There was something in his eyes – she couldn’t quite place what she saw. She watched as his brows furrowed, his eyes fluttering closed, his breath coming out heavier and another groan spilling from his lips.
She twisted her head just as she felt his cock tense in her hand, watching the way white ropes of cum landing against the skin of his stomach, some pooling into his bellybutton, along with another strangled groan falling from his lips. Her lips tugged into a smile, his hand coming up to grasp the back of her neck, pulling her into a deep, heavy kiss.
She felt the same feeling as she did just under a day earlier, when he had kissed her in the living room. Sparks flying, undeniably. As her lips parted from his, he smiled. His eyes scanned over her reddened cheeks before trailing over her lips, pulling back from her to give her space.
“What would you like for breakfast, baby?” The words were softly spoken, and she smiled as he sat up slightly, awaiting your answer. She shrugged her shoulders lightly, not really sure if she was in the mood to eat something. Her stomach was still a bit uneasy from the events of yesterday, but she managed to get out the word smoothie, along with her best doe-eyes.
After Bucky rolled out of bed and left his bedroom to clean himself up and make her breakfast, she let out a celebratory sigh and fell back against one of his pillows. She hoped that her efforts in seeming interested in his actions would help, so he wouldn’t force her into things she didn’t want.
She leaned over the edge of the bed and grabbed the discarded shirt, pulling it over her head. She quietly padded over to her bag, pulling the whole bag into her arms and walking to the bathroom, before locking herself in. She stepped into the shower stall, turning the water on and twisting the handle, feeling the water getting warmer and warmer, up until the point where it was scalding her skin.
She whimpered before fully submerging herself underneath the searing water, scrubbing the insides of her thighs violently until she felt the skin grow sore and sensitive. She sobbed out as her fingers came into contact with her sensitive folds, washing away the remains of what Bucky had done to her the night before.
Just as she thought of him, she felt her heart drop in her chest when she heard a knock on the bathroom door. She hadn’t even heard him approaching, and now he was just outside the door. She silently begged that he wouldn’t speak or ask her for anything, but it seemed like luck wasn’t on her side today either.
“Baby, breakfast’s ready.” She felt the goosebumps of disgust run down her back, even though the water was still burning her skin. Just the sound of his voice made her uncomfortable, made her guts turn uncomfortably in her stomach, which made her regret once again ever coming here with him in the first place.
“Baby?” He knocked again, making her heart clench in her chest before she answered him quietly that she was almost done, before she turned off the water, rubbing her body roughly with one of the towels laid out in one of the cabinets.
“Just a second.” She took a look in the mirror and gasped as she noticed the bruises littering her neck, arms, stomach, thighs. She had no idea how she was going to hide them from her parents. She scrambled through her bag, pulling out as many covering pieces of clothing she could possibly muster before covering up her body.
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Saturday, 10:08am
When she entered the kitchen, the delicious smell of pancakes filled her nostrils and she sighed in content. She took in the table – Bucky had placed all of her favorite fruits in separate bowls and made her a smoothie. The pancakes were even chocolate chip. She felt both agitated and sure of herself, until the second she sat down.
“So, I was really your first, huh?” Was the first question that left Bucky, a smirk plastered on his face. She felt the redness fill her cheeks before she nodded, not really wanting to engage in a conversation with him. She grabbed a handful of blueberries, stuffing them into her mouth and chewing on the sweet fruits.
“You know… The way your body reacted to how I fucked you… How you moaned… Cried out my name… How your tight pussy strangled my cock…” Bucky smirked as he grabbed his cup of coffee, bringing it to his lips before blowing on the surface, gently. “Could get used to that.”
She felt her heart pick up its pace in her chest, hammering against her ribcage as she sat stiff with her hands in her lap, too embarrassed to look at him. She fought her embarrassment though and looked up to where he was sitting through her lashes – he was exploring his molars with his tongue with his eyebrow cocked, watching her. Smug son of a bitch.
“You shouldn’t be so nervous, darling. Dig in! I made everything you asked for while you were hiding in my bathroom. You could at least appreciate the effort.”
Her eyes shot down, not wanting to meet his. The tone in his voice made her shiver. She reluctantly reached out and grabbed the smoothie off the table, bringing the straw to her lips before sucking the sweet fluid into her mouth. The taste of strawberry and blackberry lingered on her tastebuds, along with a tangy flavor she had trouble placing. She looked up at Bucky again.
“Bucky… I think I would like to go home today.” She shivered as she thought about what happened last night. What could happen again. She feared it would. She took another sip of the smoothie followed by another, and placed it on the table, truly hoping Bucky would give in and let her go.
She was wrong.
His smile was wide as he watched her drink more than half of the smoothie, just waiting for the triazolam to take its toll on her nervous system. He knew the pills for his incurable insomnia would come in handy someday, and he mentally high fived himself as he noticed her getting groggier.
“This should solve your sleeping problem, Mr. Barnes. I wouldn’t normally advise for this, but if you’re in need of a faster effect, crush them into some water and ingest it shortly before going to bed.”
And that was exactly what Bucky had done when making her smoothie. The remains of the white powder in the porcelain mortar resting in the sink was the only evidence of his scheme at this point. He had everything planned – down to the last detail. Everything he had to do by the time she would wake up from her pill-induced sleep.
“You know, darling, there’s so much I want to show you. To teach you.” Bucky slowly got out of his chair, picking a few fruits from the bowls, before chucking them into his mouth. “That’s why I need you to stay here, with me. Until we die.”
“Bucky, I… what’s happening?” she looked up at him with fearful eyes, her sight blurring Bucky into a blob of dark and fair tones before returning back to being clear as day. “I’m scared. Please.”
“You’re gonna sleep for a little bit,” he crouched down beside her chair and her eyes widened as her brain caught up with what her ears were hearing. “But I’ll make sure to take good care of you while you’re sleeping, I promise.” She felt his hand wipe a stray piece of hair from her face, pushing it behind her ear before he placed a kiss on her cheek.
Everything went black before her eyes, and her head landed heavily in Bucky’s hands. He watched as her eyes rolled around in her head, unable to focus on anything before finally falling closed, a sigh escaping her lips.
Bucky lifted her out of the chair gently, admiring her soft features before walking her to his bedroom. Her soft breathing was warm against his neck as he held her in his arms, one of the only things letting her know she was still sentient. He laid her on the bed carefully before beginning to rid her of all the clothes she had hidden herself in.
“Oh, you silly girl… Trying to hide from me. Trying to get me to let you go…” he carefully tugged down her jeans, throwing them on the floor. He lifted her leg off the bed, placing a kiss on top of her foot. His eyes follow the length of her legs, all the way up her body. Her beautiful body. “I’ll never let you go. You’re mine now.”
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Saturday, ?
She let out a small groan before turning on to her back – or so she thought. Her eyes flew open before she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes – or tried to. She groggily looked up at her hand and let out a gasp when she found it fixated to the bedpost. She whipped her head around and found the other fastened likewise, letting out a tiny whimper.
She clenched her fists, giving the restraints another tug but to no avail. She lifted her head slightly, looking around, and let out another whimper when she noticed she was in Bucky’s bedroom yet again. She shivered when she heard his voice, coming from behind her.
“So, you’re finally awake. Took you long enough, darling.” she gasped when she felt his fingers slide through her folds and into her wet cunt. It felt different than the last time he did it, though. Like something was in the way. It felt good, though.
“You know, it’s actually quite impressive how the human body reacts to arousing touch. I’ve been toying with your clit for more than an hour, drawing a few orgasms from you and you’re still just as responsive… So, I wanted to try something new.”
She gasped when she felt his fingers swirl themselves inside her and then against the back of her tight cunt. Her eyes widened as her mind suddenly cleared itself enough for her to feel the expansion of her tight ring of muscle. She struggled to move her legs, giving up when she realized they were tied to the foot of the bed, spread wide.
“For someone who was a virgin in both holes just yesterday, I have to say I’m impressed. It’s like your pussy was made for my cock… I can’t wait to fuck this tight ass of yours… To see if it’s just as good as your cunt.”
Her eyes widened as she felt his hand leave the warmth of her pussy, swirling around the gem of the butt plug seated snugly within her tight rim. She gasped loudly when she felt Bucky slowly retracting the plug, not letting the widest part pass the rim before pushing the plug back in. She let out a wanton moan as it fell back into place.
“I’m gonna fuck your pussy while this plug is filling you up, and then I’m gonna fuck your tight ass…” She heard Bucky slide down the mattress before his lips found her soaking cunt, emitting a loud moan from her. Her mind was still hazy from her slumber, she struggled with finding the words for a few moments. “Yeah, you like that?”
“Bucky…” she whimpered weakly as a surge of pleasure shot through her veins. “Please don’t, Buck…” She had trouble focusing on anything, she wasn’t sure where Bucky’s lips lingered anymore. She registered the rip of a foil packet, and just after, she felt the thickness of Bucky’s cock filling her slick pussy to the limit.
“Fuck, that’s a good girl…” Bucky moans loudly as he bottoms out, the pressure from the plug in her ass straining against his cock. He leans down and peppers a string of kisses on her cheek, admiring her as her mouth hung open, short puffs of breaths pushing their way past her plump lips.
Her eyes are shut tightly, her eyebrows drawing a thin line between pleasure and pain. As of that moment, he can’t tell which is which. Tears are slowly framing her eyes, though still not giving the emotion away.
“Oh my god,” she breathes, and Bucky bites his lips to restrain himself, but the intoxicating way her pussy grasps his cock tightly, the sweet pink gem resting just above his cock has his mind spiraling into pleasure. He grabs her hips and thrusts into her harshly, pushing the tears out of her eyes and the cries out of her mouth with every thrust.
His hips slam against hers within a few thrusts, and it’s making her see stars. His cock is grazing her most sensitive places with every thrust, and everything seems to blacken before her eyes as hot floods shoot through her veins, her orgasm so intense her whole body is shaking.
She herself doesn’t know whether it was in pleasure or in pain either, but it was definitely something in between. She had never felt a feeling so indescribably enormous; she had never felt so full. She whimpered when Bucky pulled himself out of her, eyes widening as she came back to herself, feeling the plug being retracted slowly.
“I can’t hold back darling, fuck you make it so hard…” she gasped when the plug slid out easily, whimpering as she felt liquid smear against her fluttering, sensitive ring of muscle, the coolness slithering down between her sensitive lips, staining the mattress below her.
She bites her lip harshly as she feels the tip of Bucky’s cock prod against her tightening rim. It was a whole other feeling than the plug. Where the plug was cold and somewhat hard, Bucky’s cock was warm, wide and rigid. She clenches her jaw as his cock breaches her, the sting unlike anything she had ever felt before.
“Come on baby, let me hear you…” Bucky gritted through his teeth, just beside her ear. She clenches her jaw even tighter, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of letting him hear the effect he had on her. The breaths she sucked in through her nose were uneven and ragged, the pain caused by his cock almost unbearable.
“Fucking relax, baby… You’re just making it harder for yourself…” She didn’t know how deep he was inside of her and she didn’t wanna know either. She had never felt dirtier than she did in this exact moment, and she shut her eyes tightly, wishing herself invisible. She felt his hands grasp a butt cheek each, before spreading them apart, thrusting his hips, slowly entering her deeper.
“That’s it baby…” she whined as she felt his hips still against hers, his pelvis resting snugly between her spread cheeks. His mouth found her ear and she whimpered as the next words that left his lips sunk in. “Such a good slut for me, taking all of my cock in her tight ass…”
His hand moved around her hip, squeezing itself between her body and the mattress, sliding down in between her legs where her soaking pussy had been abandoned. His fingers swirled around the bundle of nerves, the small jolts of his thrusts mixing with the pleasure from his fingers pushing her over the edge.
She let out a scream as she came around his cock, her ass gripping him tighter than he had ever felt before in his life. Out of all the women he had ever fucked, she was by far the tightest he had ever experienced. Her whole body shook beneath him, hands tightly fisting the bedsheets as her ass strangled his cock, begging for him to release his seed within.
Bucky’s cock felt so massive as she tried to come down from her startling high, the jolts of her body seemingly calming down slightly. “Bucky please… You’re too big, I can’t…” she cried out as her oversensitivity took over, trying to push the foreign intrusion out. His movements stung against her sore ring of muscle, making her wail further.
Bucky ignored her pleas and pushed his hips tighter against hers before retracting himself halfway, pushing in again. He groaned into her ear as he fucked her ass, showing her no mercy as he searched for his own release. He cursed out as he found the angle unable to grant him what he so desperately longed for.
He untied her right leg first, followed by the left before bringing her knees under her body, to fuck her in his favorite position. She whined as he pulled out of her ass completely, before leaning down to lick a firm stripe through her folds. She didn’t know how he managed to make her feel as dirty as he did, but it was amplified even further when he spat at her ass.
He cursed behind her at the sight of her, and shortly after she felt another wet dollop of lube slither between her cheeks. He easily slid his cock back into her ass, sighing out as her warmth once again engulfed his cock completely. He was never, ever going to let her go. Not when she could make him feel like this by just fucking her.
His release came just as quickly as she had hoped. Within three more strokes, he buried himself to the hilt, bit her earlobe harshly and spilled himself into the condom. She felt the pulsing of the convulsions in his cock more prominently in her ass, and she distracted herself from the pain by counting every spurt of his cum that landed within the latex with every jerk of his cock.
“Good girl.” He whispered as he gripped around his cock, securing the condom before pulling out of her, slowly. She whimpered as he left her body, and he groaned at the sight of her ring of muscle fluttering and contracting around nothing.
Bucky slid off the bed after pulling the condom off, tying the end and left for the bathroom. She felt a tear escape her eye as she pushed her legs back to lie flat before lifting her head, turning it to look in the direction of the bathroom. Bucky emerged with a damp towel, in all his naked glory, walking over to her with a victorious smirk.
“You did so good my darling… Such a good obedient girl for her daddy.” He talked sweet nonsense as he cleaned between her legs. She hissed as the damp cloth came in contact with her swollen ass, and again when he swiped it between her folds, gathering her slick. “Have you changed your mind yet, darling? Or do I need to teach you another lesson?”
She looked up at him with wide eyes, sucking her lip in between her teeth. “Changed my mind about what?”
She felt a hard slap on her butt. “Don’t play dumb, baby. It’s not a good look on you. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” She whimpers as his hand grazes along the angry, red protrusion of the skin where his hand had landed.
“Please, I want to go home Bucky.” She whimpered, closing her eyes as she felt the tears flow freely from her eyes. She felt another harsh slap against har already sensitive skin, then another.
“Wrong answer.”
“Bucky you can’t keep me locked up here forever!” She cried out, tugging on the restraints again, with what little power she had left after what he had just put her through, and the grogginess from the drugs, still in her system. Bucky leaned all the way into her ear, whispering out yet another sinister thing, that made her whole body crumble in fear.
“If that’s what it takes.”
He left her then, only pulling the sheet over her ass to cover her private parts. She didn’t know how long she spent in his bed, tied up like some animal. She could hear him somewhere in the house, humming along to some tune playing on the radio, which she couldn’t make out.
She was getting cold, falling asleep sporadically along with goosebumps rising on her skin as silent tears slid down her cheeks into the pillow. She felt exposed and used. Used by a man she trusted with her life. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. She imagined that she could’ve been wrapped up in her comforter at home, watching some boring Netflix series instead of laying tied up here.
She felt scared. Even more scared than she’d felt just after Bucky had violated her for the first time. She’d never felt so helpless before, and it made her even more scared of what Bucky would do to her if he got the chance. It was getting dark out, and she knew that it would either improve or deteriorate her chances of escaping. She didn’t know where to escape to, though.
She knew she had to get out of his house as soon as possible. She knew she had to get in contact with her parents somehow, despite the fact that she didn’t want to anymore. She didn’t know where her phone had ended up in all of this mess, but she knew Bucky usually slept with his by the bed. Either she could wait for that opportunity, or she could try to escape.
She wiggled her toes slightly, trying to get some of the blood down there again. She twisted her knees slightly, trying to pull them up under her again. She thanked the heavens that she was flexible when she managed to pull her right knee up under her, followed by the other.
She slowly rose to her knees, sitting back on her ass. She looked towards the door, cracked open slightly. The faint smell of something cooking filled her nostrils and she heard her stomach rumbling. She had no recollection of when she last had something to eat.
It was this morning, that much she knew. But she didn’t know what time it was by now. How long she’d been out, how long he’d been in the bedroom with her, how long she’d been laying there alone.
She took in the expert knots that had her hands tied to the headboard, reminding her that her dad and Bucky had served in the military together, and that they both had some knowledge about rope and knots. They’d even taught her some, so she could easily make out which one he’d tied her up with.
The double constrictor knot tied twice on both her wrists made her eyes fill with tears yet again. There was no way she would be able to pull the knots open with her teeth. Yet she found herself trying. And… on top of that, she really needed to pee.
She examined the knot before slowly making out the placement of the ends and where they were cut off. She reached forward and trapped one loop in between her teeth, pulling slightly. She sighed happily when she felt it give in, and she pulled one end through easily. Way too easily.
She repeated the action one more time, pulling the end over and through on the other side, one knot coming completely undone. She nodded at herself when the first rope fell to the pillow under her, making everything seem a little bit easier.
Three more to go.
She prayed that Bucky didn’t make an appearance, otherwise she’d be fucked. She leaned forward and examined the next knot on the same wrist, leaning forward when she located the end of it.
She winced when the ropes on the wrist she wasn’t working on tugged the rash on her skin even deeper. She needed to get out of there, and she needed to get out of there now. Panic settled in her stomach when she heard footsteps from somewhere in the house, tears spilling out of her eyes yet again.
“Come on, come on…” the knot finally gave in and she breathed out in relief, grinning slightly when her fingers started loosening the knots on her other wrist. She was so close to freeing her wrist, so close to relief from emptying her bladder… So close to escaping from Bucky.
“Baby…” She instantly freezes when she hears his voice from the door. “What are you doing?” She lets out a breath, feeling the tears re-wetting the paths on her cheeks that had dried earlier. Her cheeks redden, embarrassed that he’s caught her.
“Bucky, I…” she starts, turning her head slowly to look at him. He’s standing in the doorway with a tray of food for her, for them. How had she not noticed the amazing smell filling the room much earlier? How long had he even been standing there? She was so caught up in escaping she hadn’t even heard him.
She’s not sure whether the words that leave her mouth are just plain stupid or smart. Either way, his eyes soften just a bit when she speaks. “I just really have to pee.” She watches as he puts down the tray on his bedside table before he leans forward, loosening the remaining knots.
“Why didn’t you just call for me, baby? I would’ve come and helped you so you wouldn’t tear your lips like that.” His thumb grazes her lip, making her wince slightly. She hadn’t noticed the skin being mangled from the roughness of the rope. “Jesus baby, you look awful.”
She winces again when his fingers glide over her cheekbone, before they help her loosen the last knots around her wrists. She slides off the bed with a whimpering thank you, her legs slightly unstable as she staggers her way to the bathroom. She shuts the door softly before finally getting the relief she’s been craving.
Once finished, she tries for the small window in the bathroom. She knows she isn’t going to fit through, but she’s trying anyway. The window doesn’t budge, even when all laches are off and clattering against the glass. She knows Bucky can hear her from the bedroom, but at this point she doesn’t care.
“Come on. Dinner is ready.” His voice is just on the other side of the door, letting her know just how close he was. By the looks of it, there was no way she was ever going to be left alone again. Her foot slipped from her getting dizzy when she stepped on the bathmat to wash her hands, causing her to let out a yelp.
The door was yanked open just as she steadied herself against the marble countertop, catching Bucky’s eyes in the mirror when she looked up. Traces of nervousness swirled in his eyes, and she wondered why. “Jesus, I thought you hurt yourself, baby.”
He watched her every move as she washed her hands, dried them off before throwing them around her body, shielding her still naked body from him. He observed the way goosebumps littered her arms and legs, making his heart clench in his chest. He swiftly manhandled her into a t-shirt, before handing her a pair of panties.
He watched as she slid them on weakly, before grabbing her hand and leading her back to the bed. “Come on,” he spoke softly, as he sat her down and placed the tray in front of her, urging her to eat by bringing a forkful of food to her lips. “You need your strength.” She squeezed her lips together, not fully trusting him with her food since the incident this morning.
“Don’t worry.” He grabbed her hand, his thumb sliding over the soft skin, “It’s just food this time. No drugs.” She looked up at him doe-eyed, desperately trying to just have him leave her. She purses her lips again. “I trust you, baby.”
“I’m not hungry.” She whispered out, pulling her hand from his gently before scooting back just a bit on the bed, to get further away from him. Her stomach grumbled in that moment, letting him know how much of a lie that was. She was starving.
He grabs her jaw, forcing her lips apart before shoving the food in between them. “You eat when I tell you to eat.” He’s somewhat grumpy, it’s easy to see. There’s a glint remorse in his eyes, but she doesn’t believe that he regrets anything he’s put her through. She chews languidly, all while her eyes are trained on her hands in her lap.
“Am I going to have to force feed you, or will you eat on your own accord? Because I don’t care what you choose.” She looks up at him and watches as he scoops another dollop of food onto the fork, bringing it to her lips. She carefully swallows the food already in her mouth before opening up for him to feed her. “Good girl.”
It continues like that, with Bucky taking a few bites in between feeding her. It makes her calm to see him eat from the same portion of food as her, letting her know that he was telling the truth when he made her eat the first bite. No drugs.
He brings the straw resting in a glass of water to her lips after setting the plate back on the tray. She eyes his hands, inspecting the glass intensely. He sighs and rolls his eyes yet understanding her actions. He knows she’s afraid of him, he knows she doesn’t trust her right now.
He brings the straw to his own lips and sucks the cold fluid into his mouth before swallowing, letting her know that the water was safe to ingest as well. She exhales slowly before taking the glass from him, emptying it in one go. She was truly thirsty.
“What time is it?” she tries softly, afraid that Bucky thought she didn’t need to know, since he had no plans of ever letting her go. She’s looking for any sign indicating that he’s carrying his phone. He eyes her for a while, his eyes squinting for just a moment. She looked breathtaking as she sat there, fiddling her fingers.
“Why do you want to know?” She knew it. He’s still watching her, trying to look through her, into her head to figure out what she’s thinking. She tries her best to appear unfazed, just wanting him to tell her the goddamn time.
She feels lost in a whole new way, with the conception of time stripped from her as well. It makes her uneasy on a whole other level. “I just… Wanna know if it’s time for dessert.” She whispers, still afraid to say much. She waits for his reaction anxiously, another wave of uneasiness overcoming her.
Bucky laughs. He actually laughs at her. She furrows her brows as she watches his shoulders shake with every puff of laughter. “You don’t need to know the time…” he has a hard time getting the words out through his laughter, yet he speaks again shortly after.  “Desserts,” he smiles as he turns his head toward her, eyes taking in her serious expression. He smiles warmly at her. “What do you want for dessert?”
“You tell me the time; I tell you what I want for dessert.” He raises his eyebrow at her demand, not really expecting it. She doesn’t know where the surge of confidence came from. She just wanted to know the damn time. Somewhere deep within her, she’s still wondering if he is going to let her go the following day.
“Feisty now, aren’t you?” He jokingly says, well knowing she was, still is, afraid of him. He bites the inside of his cheek, contemplating her offer before he slowly draws out his phone before showing her the time. 9:21pm. So, she had been tied up in his bedroom the whole day. She watched as he pushed it back into his pocket, away from her prying eyes.
“So, darling… You wanted dessert?” he turns back to her and she has shuffled closer to him in the midst of his lack of attention. Her hand reaches out to caress his cheek, startling him. She smiles softly, she doesn’t even know why.
In one way, she wanted to get out of his house as soon as humanly possible but… She found herself not wanting to. Her thoughts were conflicting within her head, confusing her even more than previously. Maybe she just had to play pretend for now, and he would let her go tomorrow?
She found herself slowly losing herself within her thoughts. She had so many conflicting ones, her mind in a flurry about which ones to focus on. Everything came to her while admiring him through her lashes. Every emotion she’s ever felt for him, every memory she had with him. “Yeah. I want you.”
Without words she rises, initiating the contact between them herself. She didn’t know how or why, but she found herself reaching out for his hand. It felt a little alien, but good, nonetheless. It was clear to her that he was taken aback by her actions. She silently straddles his thighs, her ass resting on his knees as she pushes him back to lay against the bed. “I want to do this on my own.” she starts while pulling the shirt over her head.
“You took the choice from me yesterday, and I don’t think that’s fair. Do you?” the sudden surge of confidence in her takes him aback, and he’s laying motionlessly against the mattress, just watching her undress herself on top of him.
He watches as her hands slide over her breasts and down her stomach, teasing him slightly as she snaps the elastic band of her panties against the skin on her hip. She feels him harden underneath her within second of the fabric leaving her torso, and she revels in it.
She was deeply in love with Bucky Barnes. No matter how he wronged her, abused her, used her - she loves him. Maybe she was delusional but having him underneath her set her nerves on fire. She had finally gotten what she wanted.
There was nothing standing in the way of her and Bucky’s relationship anymore. She wasn’t afraid anymore. She was going to give into him, and she was going to enjoy it.
All it had taken, was one small flaw in Bucky’s plan. He’d let it slip, and he wasn’t even aware of it.
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Saturday, 03:22am
Opening the messages app on his phone, she quickly searches through the different messages before opening the one with her dad. She knew exactly who she had to call for help. Yet she found something that made her blood turn to ice in her veins. Or, it felt like that, at least.
She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Slowly, the tears started burning in her eyes, making her vision blurry. The light from his phone blinded her slightly, and she found herself wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, a sob getting stuck in her throat. She just couldn’t believe it.
Right there, on his phone, was a conversation between him and her dad. Her own dad. Her stomach turned as she read through the messages, chest heaving as she tried to calm her erratic breaths.
Steve: You got her calmed yet?
Bucky: No, still squirming and crying. Hoping that she’ll calm down soon.
Bucky: Jesus, she got some lungs on her. I can’t wait to do everything I’ve planned to do to her tomorrow.
Steve: Good. Ruin her. Make sure she doesn’t get away. We need that money.
Bucky: If not, I’ll do what’s necessary. Even though I really don’t want to. You know how I feel about her.
Steve: I couldn’t care less. She isn’t mine anyways.
Her brows furrowed as she read one of the last messages over and over again. What the hell did he mean that I wasn’t his? She felt a strong hand clasp around the wrist of her hand that held the phone in it, forcing a small scream past her lips. She hadn’t even heard Bucky wake up.
“What are you doing?” His eyes were dark and hooded. They were also full of sleep, and she knew he was happy she was still in bed next to him, else she would’ve fallen off the bed. She looked at him through the blue light of the phone, trying to come up with a quick lie to throw him off in his sleepy haze.
“I was just looking at the time.” she tried carefully, the flow of tears drying out slowly. She was shocked, to say the least, but she wouldn’t let him know that she knew... “I usually wake up at night and I always try to track my sleeping pattern…” she had no idea what to say.
She couldn’t believe what she had just read. What did her dad mean? She isn’t mine anyways… The message kept resonating in her head. He huffed and grabbed the phone, turning away from her and resuming his slumber.
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Saturday, 9:23pm
She crawled off his lap, standing over him as she undid his pants with quick movements. He lifted his hips to aid her in taking them off, his mind still trying to catch up to what was happening. His boxers followed soon after, his naked glory exposed to her yet again, only this time it was different.
Her hand grasps his cock, giving it a few tugs before she’s closing her lips around the head. He stutters out a moan intertwined with her name, his hands flying into her hair to ground himself. Where the sudden urge to have her lips around his cock was fulfilled, he still didn’t know what she was doing.
All he knew was that it felt heavenly. Her mouth was warm and inviting, her cheeks feeling warm and velvety as she hollowed them against his length. She sucked more than half of his cock into her mouth, causing a deep groan to spill from his lips.
Her hand wrapped around what she couldn’t fit in her mouth, and she slowly stroked his shaft while swirling her tongue around the enlarged head of his cock. She felt his hand tighten in her hair, a string of groans falling from his lips.
The hand that wasn’t wrapped around him pushed the panties off her hips languidly and she slowly rose to her feet, still bent over with her lips around his cock. She releases him with a pop, fluttering kisses along his toned abdomen and up his chest before she straddles his hips, gliding the wetness between her legs over the length of him.
His hands find her hips, both his thumbs rubbing circles into her hips, his head thrown back in pleasure. This pleasure is so different than it’s been previously, it’s so full of emotion for him and possibly also from her. It feels tremendously different from all the other times. His head shifts forward and admires her with hooded eyes before they flutter closed.
When she finally sinks down onto his cock with a strained expression, he feels everything shift within him. It’s like the whole orbit of the world changes. She’s struggling with his size, whimpering as she slowly sinks further down onto him. She falls forward, her hands landing just beside his face and he groans out, his eyes slowly reopening to look at her on top of him.
Her cheeks are flushed pink, her eyes prickling with tears and her bottom lip tugged in between her teeth, desperately trying to accommodate to his size. She’s shifting just a little bit, trying to ease the pain between her hips.
Her hand slid under his neck and grasped the short hairs there, closely followed by her lips meeting his. Her hips grinds over his, their lips gliding over each other’s messily, their tongues dancing together. Her soft pants mixed with his, his hands sliding up to rest on her lower back, guiding her gently.
“Oh, Bucky…” she whispers, and he isn’t sure whether or not he’s dreaming. It feels surreal that she’s moaning his name,it makes him twitch inside of her to finally hear his name spill from her lips that way. Hearing her moan his name combined with the tightness of her heat pushes him further and further towards his impending orgasm.
Her walls clench around him and she whimpers ever so sweetly. He knows she’s close. She just needs the final push. She’s still grinding her hips against his, so he angles them slightly for her clit to rub over his pelvic bone.
It doesn’t take more than a few strokes for her orgasm to overtake her, blinding her vision with black spots and making every hair on her body rise. It feels amazing this time around - with herself being in charge of her pleasure.
He’s close - so close - but if there’s one thing he doesn’t want to do right now, it’s to do something she doesn’t want to, however ambivalent that sounds. He restrains himself or tries to. Her hips are still drawing circles over his, and it’s driving him crazy.
“Cum in me,” she whispers in her haze, and she feels his hands tighten on her hips, his pants filling her ears as he empties his load inside of her. She feels at it trickles down around his length still embedded in her heat as she collapses on top of him, laying her head on his chest.
She slowly comes down from euphoria, relaxing into his arms coming around her to rub over her back. Everything slowly comes back to her, settling within her body. The lovestruck haze she has been in for the past half hour, is slowly coming to an end.
She slowly removes herself from on top of him, his seed trailing down her legs as she makes her way to the bathroom to clean herself. He finds her under the shower, quietly entering the stall behind her. She’s caught up in her thoughts, just standing under the stream of water with her arms wrapped around herself.
“I know what you saw last night. I didn’t want you to find out the way you did. We were supposed to be happy together. Live happily, and you would forget everything about everyone. Just you and me, here.” His body was barely against her back before he was pulling her trembling body back into his arms. She hadn’t even realized she was shaking until then.
“You didn’t want me to find out what, exactly?” She tried softly, jaw trembling uncomfortably at the other things he had said. “How are we ever to live happily?” She didn’t know what Bucky expected of her. There was just something she couldn’t imagine. She turned in his arms, looking up at him.
“You’re going to have to promise me that you won’t react poorly to what I’m about to tell you.” Bucky tried carefully, and she felt everything fall apart in the seconds following the words leaving his mouth. How could she not react to anything? “I shouldn’t be the one telling you this, but…”
Tell her what?! Just two days prior she’d been living contently with her parents, and here, a mere 46 hours later… Everything had changed. She watched his face as he searched for the words, his thoughts conflicting visibly in his face.
“Steve… He isn’t your father.” Bucky started, and she felt her heart fall further into her chest. That hurt. “Your mother had someone else around the time you were conceived. Steve has taken a paternity test, and it’s true.” She felt the tears rise to her eyes yet again mixing with the water from the shower, both from the betrayal of Bucky but also from her parents.
“This has all been set up so Steve can claim you as dead. To get money from the insurance company.” He hides his face with his hand, visibly upset that everything has fallen apart. Everything has certainly not worked out the way it was supposed to. “But I’ve changed my mind. I can’t do this to you.”
“But you’ve already done it...” She whispered, before taking his hand in hers. “What changed?” She cradled his face in her other hand, watching him intently as he rubs his hand over his face. It leaves red marks in its wake, letting her know just how hard he’s rubbing the skin.
“We need to make sure he doesn’t get that money” Bucky grabs her face with his hands in an instant, his eyes searching hers intensely. He thinks over her question, licking his lips before he answers.
“Nothing changed. Even though I wanted this to start with, I never even considered getting rid of you. I want you to know that I’ve never looked at you wrongly before you were legal. I couldn’t bring myself to it, even though I knew you weren’t Steve’s. I never ever wanted to hurt you. Because I love you.”
She sighs and for a short while closes her eyes. A few seconds pass where he’s just watching her.
Then one side of her lips tug up into a smirk, before she’s looking at him with a mischievous look in her eyes. They both know what they have to do.
Then she speaks, instantly letting him know that everything is settled between the two of them.
“I love you. Let’s do it.”
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hangovercurse · 4 years ago
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Home Sweet Home
You bring Colson to your hometown for the first time.
Request: “Can you write a Colson imagine where you take him back to your hometown to meet your family and friends and he’s nervous everyone will hate him but everyone ends up loving him? And maybe include a run in with some girls from high school that are jealous 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️”
Colson Baker x Reader
Warnings: Cursing
A/N: I try to be as inclusive as possible in my fics but its hard when writing about families in this capacity, so I just went with the most generic family model possible. Also, my family is very unusual so I don’t really know how families interact… oop
Word Count: 2979
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“Will you stop freaking out, you’re making me nervous.” You placed a soft hand on the shaking leg of your boyfriend. “And they’re my family.”
He let out a sigh, the shaking stopping momentarily as he pulled you as close to him as possible in the back of your Uber. “What if your parents hate me?”  
Taking a deep breath, you assured him again, “my parents are not going to hate you. We’ve been over this; they’re going to love you.”
“Your dad is going to take one look at me and punch me in the face.” Colson said, a pout on his face.
You let out a chuckle, “he is not. And even if he does, you can take a punch.”
Despite your laughter, Colson remained stoic, “I’m serious Y/N, dads hate me. I look like everything you’d want your daughter to avoid.”
A sigh left your lips at his admittance of insecurity. “Babe listen to me, please. My parents are going to love you because I love you. And if they don’t then tough shit because you’re not going anywhere.”
He nodded, but you could still see the worry behind his eyes. “I just really want them to like me. They’re important to you, so they’re important to me.”
You smiled at the comment, heart fluttering. “I’m in love with you.”
He looked at you deeply, a smile falling onto his lips, “and I’m in love with you, princess.” His lips pressed a small kiss against the crown of your head and rested there until the car pulled up to your childhood home. You felt your boyfriend tense up beside you, so you reached for his arm that was around your middle, rubbing soft shapes through the sleeves.
“I’m gonna be right next to you the whole night.” You told him as you moved to open the door, breathing in the refreshing air. LA was lovely, but it was nice to be able to breathe properly in your hometown.
Colson grabbed your bags out of the trunk, even though you insisted you could help. “Go say hi to your family, babe. I got it.”
You pressed a small kiss to his cheek, whispering a small “see you inside” before rushing to the familiar front door. Years of memories lie beyond its wood, memories you were excited to relive.
Knowing your family would keep it unlocked for you, you turned the knob and pushed the door open. The smell of your family’s cooking filled your nose, and immediately members of your family found you.
“Y/N!” Your younger cousins screamed, racing over to you to hug you. The last time you’d seen them they were 5 and 7, now they were 8 and 10.
“You guys have gotten so big! Did you drink some sort of magic potion or something?” You asked, a smile on your face.
Your mom had told you that she and your father would be cooking, but you didn’t think they’d invited your entire family. Although, you should have assumed they would given how close your family was.
Once your cousins let go of you, you turned around to see Colson waving off the Uber driver and making his way to the door. You turned to your younger cousins once he got close enough for them to see him. “Guys, this is my boyfriend, Colson.” They gave small waves as you introduced them to Colson, who gave them a big smile.
“C’mon, babe. I’ll show you to our room.” You grabbed one of the bags from his hand, much to his dismay, and led him through the house. After you had moved to LA, your parents had turned your bedroom into the guest room, but some of the decorations from your younger years had remained on the walls.
Colson looked around the room, smiling as he thought of younger you growing up in here. “Is this a Bowie vinyl?” He asked, motioning to the vinyl record on the wall as he set your bags onto the bed.
You nodded, smiling wide. “Yep, got it for my 15th birthday. Signed and everything.” Your boyfriend nodded in appreciation as his eyes moved around the room. You wrapped your arms around his middle, cuddling into his chest. You could feel his heart pounding in his chest from how nervous he was. “You’re not gonna freak out and run off on me, are you?” You asked, a light humor in your voice.
Colson let out a dry chuckle, “no, I’ll be okay.” He mumbled, squeezing you closer to him. “But what if  we just stayed in here forever?”
You slapped his chest playfully, “c’mon loser, you’re coming to meet my family whether you like it or not.” You grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the door.
“Yes ma’am.” He saluted with his free hand, making you giggle.
You made your way into the kitchen where your mom was standing with your aunts and sister. Her eyes lit up when she saw you, “you made it!” She came over and gave you a tight hug, “How was the flight?” She asked.
“It was fine, we slept most of the way.” You smiled before turning to Colson. “Mom, this is Colson, you’ve met him over facetime a couple times now, remember?”
She smiled moving to pull him into a hug. He had a shocked look on his face but reciprocated the hug. You mouthed “sorry” to him, giggling silently. He just smiled and shook his head, letting you know he was okay.
“Of course, I remember! She talks about you all the time.” You blushed as Colson smiled proudly. “You’re much taller in person.” Your mom noted, making you and Colson chuckle.
“Yeah, I get that a lot.”
Your sister cleared her throat, grabbing your attention, “right! Colson, this is my sister and my aunts.”
They each introduced themselves politely. You told them you were going to go outside to find your dad and brothers. Before you left your sister pulled you to the side and whispered in your ear, “okay, I knew LA was full of hot guys, but how’d you manage to pull that?”
You laughed out loud, “Y/S/N! That’s so mean!”
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” She laughed, but then whispered again, “but seriously, god damn.”
You rolled your eyes, “next time I’ll bring you one back.” She giggled, nodding in encouragement.
You took Colson’s hand, ignoring his quizzical look, and led him to your backyard. “That wasn’t too bad, right?” You checked in on him.
He sighed, “no, but moms are never bad. If moms don’t like you, they’ll say it in secret. Dads will say it to your face.”
“My mom loved you, and so will my dad. Just trust me.” You smiled, squeezing his hand.
You found your dad sitting on a lawn chair with your grandparents. Your brothers were throwing a football around with some of your older cousins and uncles. You greeted the three in lawn chairs, your dad standing up to give you a hug.
“Hey, Y/N/N. How are you?” Your dad asked.
“I’m good! Glad to be home!” You smiled.
Your grandpa grunted, “you should never leave, then.”
You chuckled, leaning down to give both him and your grandma hugs. “You’ll be so sick of me in three days, you’ll be begging me to leave.”
Once you stood up straight, you motioned to Colson, “This is my boyfriend, Colson. You’ve kind of met him before, Dad.”
Your dad reached out his arm for Colson to shake, earning him a strong nod. “Strong grip. I like him.” Your dad looked towards you. You could tell he didn’t remember meeting Colson on facetime, but you hadn’t expected him to.
“Grandpa, you’ll like this. Colson knows all four members of Motley Crue.” You smiled, winking at your boyfriend.
The older man looked impressed, “really? I was a roadie on the Theatre of Pain tour.”
Colson nodded, a smile on his face. “I played Tommy Lee in their biopic and then, uh, we recorded a song together.” You grinned proudly as the two talked about their experiences with the band.
Your dad put a hand on your shoulder, shaking you lightly, “You happy?” He whispered.
You turned to look at him, “yeah. He’s a good guy, trust me.”
Your dad nodded, “oh, I can tell. Just wanted to make sure.” You thanked him, watching your boyfriend interact with your family. “Now you gotta introduce him to your brothers.” He chuckled at your sigh.
“Do I have permission to punch them if they act like assholes?” You asked, only kind of joking.
Your dad pushed you towards the lawn, “I see nothing.” You smile, grabbing Colson’s hand and leading him away from your grandpa once they’d finished their conversation.
“Okay, so I knew you were freaking out about my parents, so I didn’t want to freak you out even more.” You started, causing a panic look to cross Colson’s face. “My brothers are…” you searched for the words, “assholes. But like, loveable assholes. But they’re probably gonna give you shit, but it’s out of love. But I have no problem hitting them if you want me to.” You smiled.
He raised an eyebrow, “normally I’d say that’s my job but I feel like it’d be easier for your family to forgive you than me.” You laughed, pulling him to the guys and introducing him.
It turns out, your brothers actually really liked Colson, which was somehow worse than them hating him. Because it meant that they stole him from you. When you went back inside to talk more with your mom, your brothers demanded Colson stay outside with them. He seemed happy, so you let him stay, excited that your family was taking to him so well.
An hour later, dinner was almost ready, so your brothers started to set up the folding tables outside, which Colson gladly helped with. You were helping your mom finish up the last of the food, watching your best friend and soulmate through the window with adoration. He was helping your younger cousin put the tablecloth on the table, the scene reminding you of the time Casie and him took you out for a picnic on your birthday. You couldn’t wait to bring her here.
“You chose a good one.” Your grandma commented from behind you, making you jump a little bit. Once you registered her words, you blushed, mumbling out a thank you. “I can tell he really loves you. A granny can always tell.”
You smiled, “I really love him, too.” You turned back to check on him, catching his eye. He sent you a bright grin, making your grandma pat you on the shoulder before walking back to your mom to help her.
The rest of the night was magical, Colson by your side the entire time. Eventually most of your family left, leaving you and Colson to go to bed. You cuddled into his side, a smile on both of your faces. “They all love you, y’know?”
He hummed in response, squeezing your waist. “I love you.”
You chuckled, “you’re so fucking cheesy.”
 The next day you were determined to take Colson on a tour of your town, starting with the skate park you spent almost every day at in high school. “We would’ve been best friends when we were kids.” He said as you dragged him through the park.
“We’re best friends now.” You chuckled, pausing to press a kiss to his lips.
He hummed, “I think we’re a little more than best friends but okay.” You rolled your eyes, pulling him further into the park until you spotted a familiar face.
“Little Benny?” You asked, your face lighting up. The younger guy’s eyes widened, running up to you.
“Y/N?” he asked, pulling you in for a hug.
You chuckled, “You were like, 12 the last time I saw you, what the hell?”
The man laughed along with you, “well you were the one who ran off to LA miss big-time producer.”
You smiled, realizing he had probably checked up on you. Benny was about 7 years younger than you and had looked up to you almost his whole life. Seeing him so grown up was a strange experience for you.
You noticed him glancing to Colson, his eyes going wide. “You’re-“
You laughed, “Benny this is Colson, my boyfriend. Also known as-“
“Machine Gun Kelly!” The younger boy exclaimed, making Colson chuckle.
He reached out his hand, which Benny gladly shook, “nice to meet you, man.”
“Kells, this is Benny, my friend from high school. I taught him how to skate.”
“More like your protégé.” A female voice said. Behind Benny came Deanie, another girl his age you had taught. Benny’s arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her into him.
You smiled at the two, knowing Benny had liked her since he was in middle school. “Hi Deanie.” You said, the girl smiling back at you. “This is Colson, my boyfriend.”
“Are you gonna skate?” She asked, eyes going wide.
You sighed, shaking your head, “sorry, guys. Maybe later, I’m just showing Colson around the town right now.”
Deanie and Benny both pouted, “damn, she goes off to Hollywood and forgets all about us.” Benny joked, making you all laugh.
You grabbed Colson’s hand, “We’ll see you guys later!” You waved, pulling the man away from the couple.
“It was nice to meet you!” He said, making you smile. “You seriously taught him how to skate?”
You nodded as you continued your trek to the diner you used to work at. “Yep, I taught most of the kids how to skate, although I guess they’re all his age now.”
Colson grinned, “so you’re, like, a legend here.” He commented, but you shook your head, laughing.
“No, I was a loser.”
“Not to those two, you’re not.” He said, swinging your intertwined hands. You rolled your eyes but didn’t say anything further.
You finally arrived at the small diner you used to work at. About 50 feet away from the door, Colson’s phone buzzed. “Shit, Slim’s calling.”
“Take it, I’ll grab a table and you can meet me inside.” He smiled thankfully, answering the call as you walked inside.
You immediately spotted Wesley, the cook you’d known since you were 16, through the order window. The smell of the diner was familiar, and for a moment you felt like you were walking in for a shift. You leaned against the bar, “Hey, Wes!” You called, drawing the cook’s eye.
“Little miss Y/N! Is that really you?” You smiled at the old man.
“It sure is! How’s the diner?”
“I’m still here, aren’t I?” You giggled at his response. Wes had opened the diner in the 90’s and swore he’d burn with the building.
You grabbed a booth in the corner, just in case there happened to be any peering eyes in your small town.
Unfortunately, your table was in Liza’s section, a girl who’d hated you since you were kids. You found it quite funny that she was still working at the diner after all this time, silently thankful that you’d gotten out of the town.
She scowled when she saw you but walked over anyways. “What happened? Strike out in Hollywood and now you’re back here trying to get your job back?”
Her voice was just as annoying as it had always been. “Or did your rich sugar daddy dump your ass and now you’re home begging for money?”
You wanted nothing more than to slap the smirk off her face, but you refrained. “Actually-“ You started, but you got cut off by your boyfriend.
“You have a sugar daddy and didn’t tell me about it? Babe I would’ve helped you scam him for so much more.” He smiled, sitting across from you, and grabbing your hand that was resting on the table.
Upon realizing who was sitting across from you, Liza stiffened. “You’re-“
“Y/N’s boyfriend, nice to meet you.” He smiled, an evil glint in his eyes.
“Machine Gun Kelly!” Liza said, her squeaky voice making you cringe.
“I prefer Colson, but yeah.” He sighed, looking back over to see your annoyed expression.
Liza looked between the two of you, a look at disgust on her face. “Seriously? Why the hell are you going out with her? You could do so much better.”
Your mouth dropped open in shock at her blunt rudeness. Colson’s jaw clenched as he spoke, “what, like you?”
The girl shrugged, not catching the sarcasm that dripped from his voice. “I’m just saying, I don’t know what she’s told you but she’s a talentless bitch whose probably only dating you for money or fame, or both.”
Luckily, Wes came out to the front of the house to greet Colson, stopping him from punching a girl in the middle of the restaurant. “Nice to meet you, man. I’m Wes, owner, cook, and the best boss Y/N has ever had.” Colson shook his hand, still glaring at Liza.
“Yep.” You agreed with the man. Your voice was soft to calm Colson down, which worked a little bit.
Colson shot the man a grin, “nice to meet you, Wes. Y/N talks about this place all the time.”
The look of pride on Wes’s face was unforgettable. “Well, if you two need anything, just let me know.”
Colson looked towards Liza, annoyance returning to his features, “do you think we could get a new waiter?”
You almost laughed seeing the look of shock on her features, but Wes happily obliged, handing your table over to a newer waitress. Liza had steam coming out of her ears, but you ignored her.
“Thank you.” You muttered. “She’s hated me since we were kids.”
He rolled his eyes, “Yeah I could tell. Couldn’t have her talking shit like that.” He squeezed your hand, “now, what’s good here?”
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lilxberry · 3 years ago
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Getaway B-Day B.J. - Montgomery ‘Monty’ De La Cruz*
Requested By: @vintagemac94
Thank you so much I don’t mind the wait it’s totally cool🌸. I was thinking Monty x Oc (female) Oc goes out of her way to plan a super romantic getaway for Monty’s birthday to make him feel extra special since he never had that growing up due to his childhood.
 P.s I’m not opposed to smut just saying lol🤷🏻‍♀️but I’m giving you complete creative freedom to decide whether you want to add that or not it’s your choice😘.
I didn’t do a full smutty thing but I feel like it works better like this. I hope this is what you were looking for and I apologise if it hadn’t met what you had wanted.
Also, it wasn’t really an OC since I don’t really write them. I even plan on editing works what I have written as OC’s to reader inserts, just to make things more inclusive for everyone. There wasn’t detailed descriptions of appearance within this and I certainly hadn’t added a scenario where the readers name would be said but I just thought I would clear up that it indeed wasn’t an x OC
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Warnings: Language. Semi SMUT (since it was only a blowie *wink wonk*). Alludes to SMUT. A singular mention of Bryce (I mean, c’mon).
Words: 2,983
Pairings: Montgomery ‘Monty’ De La Cruz x reader (female reader)
_______________
The sun casts a warm glow, bathing the room in a soft morning orange hue, illuminating your sleeping boyfriends’ figure, highlighting those sharp features that just seem so much softer as he rests. Short, relaxed puffs of air pass through his parted lips and his chest rises and falls in a calm even manner.
A smile works its way on to your face as you admire Monty in such peace and serenity. You bring your small, dainty hand up and run it along his face, gently brushing over his cheek, jaw and bottom lip that’s pouted. Slowly working along his brows and forehead, a soft grunt forces your smile to widen uncontrollably.
His eyes flutter open, his lashes kissing his cheeks each time. With much difficulty, he manages to keep one eye lazily open, gazing at you as he squints at the light that seems all too bright for someone who is only just rousing from their slumber.
A dazed smile forms across his own lips and his chest rumbles with a chuckle. “Morning,” he grumbled, voiced still laced with sleep causing his tone to be deeper. You bit your plump bottom lip just thinking of how you could listen to that voice all day.
“Good morning, birthday boy,” you cheerily replied. His chest vibrated with a chuckle once more before closing his eye and wrapping him arm around your waist, pulling you in closer and pushing his face into your hair, placing a soft kiss to the top of your head.
You hummed in contentment as you buried your face within his chest, enjoying the warmth radiating from his body. You stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, legs entangled for many more minutes before deciding to finally starting your weekend surprise for your boyfriend.
“Monty,” you cooed softly. “We gotta get up.”
Monty groaned in protest, tighten his hold on you causing you to chuckle at his childish antics. “C’mon baby, we gotta go.”
With an overdramatic huff, he released his hold on you and turned to lie on his back, throwing his left arm over his face, covering his eyes. “I thought it was my birthday. Why do we have to get out of bed, baby?” You could practically already hear the remark he’s about to say that will no doubt be accompanied by a smirk. “I know plenty of reasons to stay put.”
You shook your head and chuckled as you slapped his chest playfully. “You are insatiable.” Clambering out of bed, you already miss the warmth it provided as you made your way into the bathroom, adding an extra sway to your hips, knowing full well Monty was watching you.
“Get up or we’re going to be late for what I have planned,” you called out to him from the bathroom as you tore your, more specifically Monty’s, t-shirt off, leaving you in nothing but your underwear. Before he could retort back or ask what on Earth you had planned, you speak once more. “We still have time to shower though, if you’d like to join me,” you sung out in a sweet melody.
You heard him throw the sheets off of his body, some fumbling around, a loud thump which was followed by him cursing ‘fuck’ and rushed footsteps, causing you to giggle. He arrived in the bathroom faster than a greyhound whippet and was hasty in slamming the door shut and locking it behind him.
_______________
“How didn’t I notice a load of my clothes were missing?” Monty hollered from where he was loading up the two bags you had packed for the weekend into the trunk. His face was absolutely comical, full of confusion yet showing that he had actually been quite impressed.
You shook your head as you checked over once more that you had everything on you before closing and locking the front door to your house. “Because the only things you ever actually care to take notice of are butts, boobs, booze and baseball,” came your snarky remark.
Closing the trunk, he turned to you with the most innocent looking expression he could muster and begins to take tantalisingly slow steps towards you where he eventually places his hands upon your hips. “Only your butt and boobs though, babe.”
You snorted and pushed at his chest, walking around him to climb into the drivers’ seat of the blue Toyota Camry. Before you could place your behind on to the comfortable car seat, you heard a resounding ‘SMACK’ and felt a stinging sensation on your left ass cheek.
“OW!” you shouted, only resulting in Monty throwing his head back in hysterics as he rounds the car to get inside himself. You shake your head although the small smile that dances across your lips in enough to give away that you were anything but upset with him.
Closing the door once fully sat down, you pull your seatbelt over your torso and secure it before placing the keys into the ignition and turning to start the car. Monty had already made himself quite comfortable with the window fully rolled down and the Bluetooth of the car connect to his phone where he scrolls through his Spotify, debating which of the many songs will be blasted through the speakers first.
Releasing the handbrake and pushing down on the acceleration, you begin the 3-hour long drive to your destination where you’ll spend 3 blissful days away with your boyfriend.
_______________
About 2 minutes away from your destination, you had told Monty to close his eyes and to keep them as so until you said. Driving along, you could feel how the road had changed from smooth tarmac to a more coarse, natural trail.
Passing the final cluster of trees and emerging to right in front of where you had booked for you and Monty for the weekend, you slowed to a stop, pulling up the handbrake and turning the keys, removing them from the ignition.
“Psst, you can open them now,” your teasing whisper caused his eyes to shoot open, only for them to widen a moment later at what sat a few feet in front of you both.
A beautiful, modern wooden lodge surrounded by dense woods. It was surprisingly large, even for something that was described as small. The tenant you had rented it off had claimed that everything in and surrounding the gorgeous, homely location was at your dispense and can be used however you see fit, including the shimmering, clear lake that was a simple 9 minute walk from the lodge itself.
“I, uh, I don’t understand.” You could see the confusion on his features and his gaze alternated between you and the getaway home.
“It’s ours for the weekend, baby. Do you like it?” You bit your lip in anticipation, desperately wanting him to be happy with what you had done for him.
He nodded as he searched for words, stuttering. “I-I don’t…Why?”
“I wanted to treat you on your birthday. Plus, I get a whole weekend with you to myself so, I suppose I also treated myself.” Your smile was just as breath-taking as the lodge, he thought. In a blink of an eye, he leaned over the centre console and crashed his lips to yours, causing you to hum in appreciation.
“God, I love you,” he breathlessly whispered.
“Good, ‘cause I love you, too.”
_______________
You both were now unpacking, putting clothes away for the weekend and what food you had packed was now stored within the kitchen and large pantry along with whatever food was left for you to utilise from the tenant.
Seeing as you had been together for a solid 2 and a half years, you knew that Monty had a lack of attention and affection when it had involved not only his everyday life, but his birthday. Of course, his friends such as Bryce always had insisted on throwing him parties, massive ragers with an unsavoury amount of alcohol and an abundance of people in attendance.
But this year, you wanted it to be more meaningful, more special. You wanted your boyfriend to truly understand how important he is to you and how much you love him, although, nothing could ever actually amount to how much you do love him.
Plus, you promised Bryce and the others that they could have him for the whole weekend after, which Bryce had surprisingly agreed to quickly.
As you were folding away the last item of clothing, you felt arms snake around your waist from behind causing you to jump ever so slightly before relaxing in your boyfriends embrace. He chuckled as he buried his nose into the crook of your neck, occasionally pecking your shoulder with soft kisses.
“I never thought I’d say this but,” he started, lowering his voice to a playfully seductive whisper as he brought his lips up beside your ear. “You make doing laundry look so fucking sexy.”
You laughed as you placed the now folded t-shirt into the draw and push it close before turning whilst still in his hold, raising your hands to place them against his broad, chiselled, sun-kissed chest that’s hidden beneath a dark grey t-shirt. “Oh yeah? Just wait ‘til you see me make the bed.”
He chuckled once more, the deep sound exciting you more than it should before pulling you flush against his towering form and slowly melding his lips against yours, the speaker you had connected to earlier that was within the room quietly continues playing your music from one of your many playlists on Spotify.
Unsurprisingly, the kiss had quickly become deep and more needy. You right hand stayed firm planted upon his pec, nails slightly digging into his flesh causing him to his. You left hand had travelled upwards and began to run through his hair, tugging on it slightly as your nails occasionally rake over his scalp in a satisfying motion.
Him, on the other hand, hand allowed him to wander down over your hips, caressing the small of your back and finally finish at your round behind, firmly grasping and kneading at it, forcing you to moan wantonly which was muffled by his mouth on yours.
Your heads tilt in opposite directions, allowing the kiss to be deepened. A firm, harsh slap to your right cheek made you gasp, Monty taking that as the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue in, swirling it around yours, resulting in more moans to emit from you.
In a quick motion, Monty lowered his hands down to the back of your thighs, swiftly raising you up, your legs quickly wrapping around his waist as he walks forward, eventually setting you down atop the mahogany draws.
Separating from the kiss for a brief moment, he swiftly removed your top, leaving you in just your shorts and lace trimmed bra, your mounds now on display. Monty quick you a few more quick kisses before trailing his lips across your jaw and down to your neck, sucking at biting harshly as the soft skin that’s showcased, lapping up the areas after once satisfied with the marks he’s left, soothing the ache slightly.
Moments pass by where he continues his assault on your neck which is now littered with fresh love bites, the bright red marks that will soon transform into deep purple bruising. Once again, he moves further down and begins to ravage the mounds of flesh that isn’t covered by your bra, repeating the same actions he had done to your neck. Making quick work of unclipping your bra, the material shifts from covering your breasts, straps sliding down your arms, exposing your perked nipples to the chilled air.
Mouth forming an O shape, moans carelessly escape you, your eyes shut tight, and head thrown back. You tug at the hem of his t-shirt, signifying that you want it gone. He quickly complies, detaching himself from you again to pull it up and over his body, haphazardly throwing it to the side. You used that time separated to allow the bra to completely slip off of your arms and let it fall to the ground.
He moves back to reconnect his lips to yours, his hips rutting against your own as his hands explore every inch of exposed skin. Your left hand is back within his hair, tugging roughly as your right claws down his back causing him to groan.
Your violent, passionate, lustful kiss finally ended and all you could do was breath heavily, chest heaving, as were his. “Bed,” you rasped out. Monty, needing no further prompts, yanked you up with brute strength and dragging you over to the comfier set of furniture within the room.
Before reaching the freshly made bed, you pulled at his arm, turning him to face you before kissing him roughly once more, one hand grasping his cock through his jeans as the other begins to work on his belt and zipper. Walking him backwards, the back of his knees soon meets the edge of the mattress, forcing his to fall back and land on his back.
Just as he was about to sit up, you pushed him backwards whilst you tutted at him with a seductive, playful smirk. “Now, now, birthday boy. Time for another present.”
His eyes clouded over with lust, his eyes became lidded, and a primal groan erupted from him. Popping the buttons of your shorts, you hooked your thumbs into the waistband and began to glide the material over your hips, bum, and thighs at an antagonising pace. Once lowered enough, you release them and allow them to pool at the floor around your feet, leaving you in nothing but the lace trimmed underwear that matched your bra.
You step towards him, leaving your shorts forgotten on the floor behind you and lower yourself to your knees between his spread, jean clad legs. You slide your hands along the expanse of his thighs, dragging your nails to withdraw another groan from him. Finally reaching the waistband of his own bottoms, you grip and tug feverously, Monty lifting his lips to assist you in removing both his jeans and boxers in one swift motion.
The moment his hardened dick sprang free from its confinements and slapped against his lower stomach, he sighed in relief, his eyes fluttering close as he falls back on to the bed, legs still hung over the edge.
Grasping it within your smaller, smooth hand, you give it a few gentle tugs before kitten licking the swollen head of his cock. Monty raises himself to lean back on his elbows and observe you, breathing slightly ragged, sheets loosely balled up in his fists.
Feeling you’ve teased him quite enough, you slowly begin to take him in your mouth, inch by inch until you reach the base of his cock, the tip of your nose touching his pubic area. He grunts as you pull away, only to take him all once again. And again. You repeat the action at a steady pace as one hand rests atop his thigh for stability and the other occasionally grasping his balls for added stimulation before slowly building up momentum, his dick sliding in and out of your warm, wet mouth and hitting the back of your throat.
“That’s it, baby,” he lustfully growls as one hand comes up to fist your hair in his firm grip. You hum around his length in appreciation, sending a pleasurable vibration to his dick causing him to buck up into your mouth and tighten his grip on the sheets beside him. “Fuck.”
All too soon, your pace becomes unrelenting, chasing after his climax with vigour, eager to make him cum. Sinful sounds come from where his dick slides in and out pass your lips, your saliva coating his cock.
At this point, Monty’s heavily breathing and constantly groaning and grunting in pleasure, his hips jerking upwards, forcing you to take as much of him as you can. A few more thrusts into your sweet mouth nearly does the trick, but it’s the moment that his eyes lock with your own with your lips wrapped around him perfectly, taking him so well that finally pushes him over the edge, falling back against the mattress as his body tenses and his hips continue to thrust upwards.
You continue to suck, drawing out his orgasm and milking him dry, sending him into a state of pure euphoria. You finally release his slowly softening dick with a satisfying pop, wiping the small amount of saliva and cum that had escaped and dribbled down your chin away.
Crawling up, you straddle his hips and lay your body atop of his, giving him sweet, tender kisses along the underside of his jaw. His eyes is still closed as he finally comes down from his climax, regulating his breathing once more. “How’re you feeling baby?”
“Fucking amazing,” he breathlessly replies, cracking open his eyes slightly and giving you a lazy grin as he looks up to you now that you’ve lifted yourself to look at his flushed face.
You smile down at him, bringing your one hand up to cup his cheek and caress his cheekbone with your thumb. “Good,” you whisper against his lips before planting a slow, love filled kiss to them.
He seemed to have quickly regained his stamina during the short amount of time you both laid there as he quickly ensnares you with his arms around your waist. You look down towards him with a raised eyebrow and he grins wolfishly. “Time for my next present, baby.”
With that, he flips the two of you over eliciting a squeal of excitement and anticipation from, him now hovering over you. He nips at your neck and growls deeply causing girlish giggles to escape from you. And to think, that was only within the first hour of your weekend getaway for Montys’ birthday.
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I haven’t written for 13RW in so long
It feels even crazier that I had a request for it lmao
There isn’t much to say on this honestly
I just went with the flow, even if that flow be a bit choppy, yanno
Also, this is like the 4th request I’ve posted in the last 3 days and I’m absolutely shocked
If you’d like to be added to a taglist lemme know
Anywho, I hope you enjoyed
As always, constructive criticism and requests are welcomed and greatly appreciated :D
126 notes · View notes
hanniiesuckle17 · 4 years ago
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All I Want For Christmas
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A/n: so this started off as a blurb......then i got carried away.......so.......happy christmas everyoneeeee also HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO MY SECRET SANTA GIFT PARTNER !!!!!! (also this is not thoroughly edited I'm soso sorry )
For: @hansoulmin  HAPPY CHRISTMAS BABY!!! I was your secret santa! I hope you like it! 
Tag List: @ashisparanoid @mini-meanhoe @leggomylino @hanstagrams @desertofdessert​ @hoes4hoseok​ @yangomangos​ @jeonqqin​ @geminirules​ @crscendoforsung​ @mrsunshine999​ @jisungsjheekies​ @hannie-squirrel00​ @cotccotc​ @kodzu-ken​ @konenichi​ @yangs-jeongin​ @strykiss​ @skzwriternet​
Warnings: cussing, lots of sexual tension maybe...idk
Word Count: 5.4k
Summary: Minho and Y/n have never gotten along for reasons unknown to anyone. After circumstances arose, Y/n is stuck with Minho driving him up to the cabin the boys rented. It seems that things go terribly wrong at every turn as Y/n is kept from her long desired Christmas vacation. Will she be able to change Minho’s mind about Christmas....and possibly his view on her? 
Genre: Christmas au, enemies to lovers au, fluff, romance, slice of life au, forced to share bed trope, Fem reader
Out of all people, the universe seemed to only choose you to throw misfortune on. You were nice. Some might even call you kind and selfless! You were by all means a good person! So why? Why out of all the eight other people going on this vacation did you have to stay behind a day and drive Satan’s spawn up to the cabin?
Lee Minho was a grown man of twenty two years. He should be able to drive himself! Also what was his deal? The rest of the boys had cleared their schedule for a week and a half of Christmas vacation.What was so important he had to delay your winter getaway as well?
The frigid winter wind bit at your skin, latching onto the soon disappearing warmth. You rolled your eyes watching the coat clad form of Minho come down the stairs of the entertainment building at a painstakingly slow pace. You had no clue why, but ever since you met, Minho had been nothing but cross and hateful towards you, and it seemed like he had no intention of changing. 
“Y/n.” Minho said coldy, tossing his duffel bag into my arms. 
“Satan.”
‘Clever.”
Deciding to be the bigger person, you securely placed his bag along with yours in the trunk and walked over the the driver’s side. The door slammed shut as Minho sunk into the passenger seat. “This is going to be a long ride,” you mumbled. 
An hour into journey and your prediction was already coming true. The two of you sat in awkward uncomfortable silence. Minho stared out the window seemingly unphased by the unwieldy tension. “Should I turn on some music?” You asked, reaching for the radio.
“No. It will just make things uncomfortable.”
You scoffed, retracting your hand. “I don’t see how it can get more uncomfortable than this.” Minho rolled his eyes turning to look at you. 
“It will be annoying for me when you start singing along to the radio and I have to tell you how utterly shit your voice is.” There was no hiding the scowl on your face. Your grip tightened on the steering wheel. Only five and half more hours with this asshole. 
You sighed, glancing over at the man in your car. He was messing around on his phone, completely ignoring you. It was like the conversation you had only a few seconds ago had never happened. “Look. I know you hate me and you definitely aren’t my favorite person either.” No response came from Minho. He simply rolled his eyes. “What was so important that you had to delay my Christmas vacation? Don’t you like Christmas? What possibly would be worth setting back such an amazing holiday?”
Hearing no response you looked over at Minho in question. He was looking out the window with a rather pointed scowl. “Not everyone loves Christmas.”
“What? Everyone loves Christmas! Christmas is the best time of the year!”
“Well, not me. I don’t like Christmas.”
“WHAT?!”
You turned to him eyes wide. “Hey! Eyes on the road!” Minho grabbed the steering wheel and jerked the car back into the right lane. “What’s so wrong about not liking Christmas?” Light snow flurries began to fall on the windshield. “Christmas is just another stupid holiday. There’s nothing special about it. Plus it’s cold.”
“Maybe you really are satan....” You mumbled under your breath. 
“What was that?”
“Nothing.....I just can’t believe you hate Christmas...”
Two painful hours later you were driving your impossible passenger down a long stretch of snow filled road. The windshield wipers screeched as they pushed snow off the glass. The storm had really picked up as you drove further out of the city. The roads were icy and you did your best to keep your old run down car from drifting. 
“How much longer?” Minho sighed, resting his head on the cool glass. 
“Quite a bit-” BANG!
Suddenly, it was much harder to control your car. You felt a rumble in the back wheels. Minho shot up in his seat. “Wait- what the fuck is going on?” Easing your foot off the gas, you pulled over onto the side of the empty road. 
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no!” Hitting your steering wheel, you tried to hold back your frustration. Tears pricked at your eyes, begging to spill over. There was no way you were going to cry in front of Lee Minho. Couldn’t one thing go your way this year? As if this wasn’t bad enough, a loud bang came from your engine and smoke started spilling from the hood. “Fuck...” 
Defeated, you let your head fall onto the wheel. A long continuous blast came from the car horn. Minho grimaced, covering his ears. “Can you like....stop?” You turned to look at him. Feeling even more dejected under his gaze you lifted your head, ceasing the blaring noise. 
Taking a moment to gather your emotions, you blew out a shaky breath. “Just....stay in the car, I guess. Not like you’re gonna help anyway.”
Jerking open the car door, you stepped out onto the snowy road. Deciding to look at the hopefully less damaged part of your car, you wrapped your coat further around your body and walked to the back of your car. Just like you thought, the rear left tire was completely blown out. 
“I knew my car was shit, but I thought it was going to last at least another two years.”
Now it was time to face the music, or rather the smoke. Snow falling at a fast pace, you shuffled through the cold and around to the front of your car. Raising the hood more smoke rose into the winter air. Looking around you saw it was getting darker. You had told Chan you and Minho would be at the cabin the boys rented by dinner time. It was already six o’clock.
A quick glance under the hood was enough to tell that this car was going no where. Brain trying to solve the prediciment you somehow ended up in, you crouched down and attempted to come up with a way out of the situation. So deep in thought, you didn’t even hear the sound of the passenger door opening and closing. 
“I’m assuming you can’t fix this.”
Looking up you saw Minho standing over you. His hands were stuffed into his coat pockets and white snow flurries floated onto Minho’s dark brown hair. “Do you just assume I’m useless at everything?” Minho rolled his eyes. The man turned around and opened the trunk. He returned with your bag as well as his. 
“Come on.” Not even casting a glance your way, Minho tossed your bag at your kneeling figure. The momentum sent you falling onto your butt, the wet cold snow immediately seeping through the one warm layer you were wearing. 
“Where the fuck are you going?”
“There’s a hotel a couple miles away.” Minho said holding up his phone. 
Pushing yourself off the ground you grabbed the bag and hurried to catch up with the sulky hateful man who was already walking further into the snowfall. “Are you serious?” You questioned, trying not to slip on ice. “Hey- Minho! What the fuck, dude?” 
“Come on, idiot. Keep up.”
“Minho! Wait up!”
The sky was almost pitch black by the time the two of you made it to the hotel. Whether it was from the snow clouds or time you weren’t sure. Minho had not bothered to wait for you. He was already through the sliding doors of the building before you had reached the hotel’s driveway. “Selfish jerk.” You mumbled, dragging your bag through the rising snow. 
You did your best not collapse as you were embraced by the warm heating in the hotel lobby. Minho was brushing the show from his hair as he confidently approached the front desk. The clerk greeted him with a friendly smile. 
“Hi. We need two rooms please.”
Her smile faltered a little bit. “I’m so sorry, sir.” She wrung her hands together, keeping that hospitality smile on her face. “With the snowstorm, almost every room is booked.” Minho sighed, casting an annoyed glare your way. 
“Are you sure?” 
After catching your breath, you joined the singer at the desk. The lady typed away on her computer. Looking over, you could see red boxes by all the rooms she scrolled through. “I’m so sorry, sir. But all but one of our rooms is booked.”
“We’ll take it.” You jumped in, eager to have any relief from the storm outside. 
She smiled and Minho grumbled something under his breath. “Okay then. Here is the key to our Honeymoon Suite. It’s on the fourth floor at the end of the hall.” There was no stopping the blush flooding your cheeks.
“H-honeymoon suite....?”
“Yes. It’s our last room.” 
Minho snatched the key card from the woman’s hands. “You’ve already said we’ll take it. Stop blubbering and get your stuff.” Grabbing his duffel, Minho began walking towards the elevator with no intention of waiting for you. 
The concierge looked at you with pity. “You’re boyfriend isn’t the nicest...is he?” 
With a scoff you replied, “Believe me, Minho is not my boyfriend.”
Rushing through the lobby, you squeezed through the elevator doors just as they were closing. Minho remained silent as you both rode up to the fourth floor. Your wet feet against the plush carpet was the only sound to be heard as you walked to the end of the hall. 
Before he could slide the keycard, Minho scowled at the heart engraved on the door. The happy beep and green light prompted him to push into the room. His scowl deepened as he flicked on the lights. 
Even with the lights turned on, the room was cast in a warm dim glow. There was only one bed, shaped like a huge heart with rose petals strewn across the duvet. Your eyes widened seeing a tall metal poll in one corner of the room, red light shining down on it. Subsequently a similar color grew on your cheeks. The whole room was lavishly decorated and had several interesting adult objects lying about.
“This is.....”
“What? You can’t handle a little atmosphere, Y/n?” Minho taunted with a smirk. He tossed his bag onto a chair, seeming to enjoy your embarrassed state. 
You sat on the bed only to jump up and scream feeling it move beneath you. “It vibrates?! What the fuck! Who makes a bed that vibrates?!” Minho chuckled, possibly the first time you had ever seen him give anything remotely close to a genuine smile. 
“Not kinky are you, Y/n?” 
You froze. Your hands gripped tightly onto your bag and you pulled it higher to cover your chest in embarrassment. “Regardless, there is no way I’m sleeping on that thing.” He shrugged and flopped onto the bed, rose petals flying into the air. He looked rather comfortable, completely unphased by his surroundings. 
“Suit yourself.”
Cautiously, you sat on the plush couch holding your bag like a teddy bear. This was certainly not how you imagined your Christmas. You were so looking forward to spending Christmas with your friends. Decorating the tree. Sitting by the fire in the rented cabin. Eggnog with slightly too much rum. Giving gifts you spent way too much of your paycheck on. Now you were stuck in some hotel sex dungeon with the devil spawn. What a Happy Christmas it was turning out to be. 
After getting used to the room, you showered and changed clothes to leave Minho to do the same. While he cleaned up, you phoned a nearby auto-shop and asked them to tow your car in and fix it. Finally able to resolve the stressful phone call, you let your head fall into your hands. Minho exited the bathroom rubbing his hair with a towel. 
Just as you were about to tell him the only slightly good news, the lights shut off. Both of you looked around in confusion. “Minho, did you do this? Is this some kind of prank? Cause, I’m not afraid of the dark.” He shook his head and grabbed his phone from off the dresser, using it as a flashlight. 
It was then you noticed that the room was getting colder by the second. Rubbing your arms, you shuffled over to your bag and grabbed a cardigan. A knock sounded at the door. Sighing, Minho answered it.
“Ah- Mr. Lee! We are so sorry about the inconvenience. It seems the powerlines have frozen over and the hotel has lost all electricity.” A man wearing a bellhop uniform said. Hearing the news, you came to stand next to him. “We are doing our best to get our generator up and running. It seems our heating system is also down.”
“How do you expect us to stay like this?” Minho asked with a cold stare. The man shrunk under his gaze. 
Slapping Minho’s shoulder you pushed him aside. “Stop being a grinch. Thank you so much for letting us know.” The man nodded and pulled a blanket from a nearby cart. You flinched awak from his cold hands as he passed it to you. The poor thing. He must be freezing walking around the halls in his uniform. 
“Here. This extra blanket will help. The hotel will also discount your stay.”
“No, take the blanket. We’ll be fine. You need it more than us. Thank you for doing such hard work!” The man smiled and thanked you profusely before you closed the door. Turning, you found Minho looking at you strangely. “What?”
He looked you up and down before scoffing and turning away. “You’re just so nice to everybody. You’re so gullible.” 
“Gullible?” You couldn’t believe him. “I’m not gullible. It’s called being nice. Have a little Christmas spirit will you.”
He rolled his eyes, dragging a hand through his damp hair. “I already told you. Keep all that Christmas bullshit to yourself. It’s all just an excuse for the tinsel and ornament industry to make money off losers like you.” 
There was no convincing him otherwise, so you simply watched as he pushed back the covers of the bed and climbed in. “Fine. Be a grinch or a Scrooge or a Hans Gruber for all I care.”
“Hans Gruber?” Minho questioned, head popping up in the dark. 
“Die Hard is a Christmas movie too, okay?”
You were shocked to hear a chuckle come from the big heart shaped bed. Sure, you must be imagining things, you took down a rather thin blanket from the closet and headed to your spot on the couch. Your barefeet flinched at every step on the cold hardwood floor. Curling up into a ball on the sofa, helped your body temperature rise a little bit, but you still froze with the tiny blanket you used. Eventually, you fell into a cold restless sleep. 
You awoke to some shuffling in the room. Assuming Minho was getting up to get a glass of water or something you tried to go back to sleep. But, you were puzzled as you heard his footsteps come closer to the sofa. Unsure what he was doing, you pretended to be asleep, wrapping the blanket more around your shivering body. 
“I’m only doing this cause I can’t sleep with all that teeth chattering,” Minho whispered under his breath. “It’s not like I care...” 
Suddenly you felt his long fingers gently reach out for your ankle. Still pretending to be asleep you resisted the urge to flinch away. Brows furrowed and eyes still closed, you tried to figure out what he was doing. Minho tenderly pulled what you imagined to be a pair of his socks over your cold bare feet. Your breath hitched as his soft hands brushed over your skin. He was....being kind? 
Hearing movement, you shut your eyes tighter as Minho pushed himself off the ground. “That should be fine.....” He whispered. You waited, but didn’t hear him walk away. “Why am I even bothering...” Again it seemed like he stayed. After another moment of silence he shifted. 
Surprisingly, you felt his hands reach under your legs and behind your back. He lifted you into the air and pulled you into his chest, carrying you as if you were the most fragile thing he had ever touched. Minho moved across the room before gently placing you on the bed. The covers were pulled up to your chin and you felt him tuck in the fabric around your body. You were shocked to say the least. 
Surprising you further, Minho climbed into bed next to you. His arm cautiously wrapped around your stomach and pulled you flush against his warm chest. You were feeling very conflicted for many reasons. Deciding to test just what was going on, you turned around, eyes still closed, and hugged onto him tighter. You buried your face into his chest. He froze obviously contemplating what to do. 
Hesitantly, like his body was stuttering, he let his arms fall around you in an embrace. You found yourself....content. His scent was comforting. He smelled like amber and some sort of spice you couldn’t quite name. Just as you were about to fall asleep, Minho sighed and let his fingers tenderly stroke your hair.
“This doesn’t mean I like you....” He whispered. There was something in his voice that made you not believe his words. You didn’t have time to think about them, because you were soon lulled into a deep sleep. 
The next morning you woke up to soft white light streaming through the hotel curtains. Minho was still asleep next to you, fingers still tangled in your hair. The room around you was cold, but your body was nothing but warm in Minho’s arms. You smiled remembering Minho’s kind action last night. Not knowing how he would react you decided it might be best if you weren’t in the room when he woke up. 
Each time you moved, you were sure the man was bound to wake up. Finally you swung your legs over the side of the bed. You smiled, looking down and seeing his gray warm socks on your feet. Your eyes widened as realization passed through your mind. 
Did you like Minho?
Looking over at Minho’s sleeping face, you felt your hears start to beat faster. Grasping at your chest, you tried to still your literally beating heart. This was not a problem for now. Minho could wake up any second and you didn’t really want to confront these possible feelings with him awake. 
Sliding into a pair of the hotel slippers, you shuffled to the door, rubbing your arms to keep warm. Slipping the keycard into your cardigan pocket, you closed the door quietly so as not to wake up the sleeping singer just yet. 
“Oh- I am so sorry!” Someone said, bumping into you. 
“It’s fin-...Hey, I know you!” You turned to find the bellhop from the night before. “Has your shift not ended yet?” 
He shook his head, shoving his hands in his pockets. “The roads are icy, plus they have everyone staying because of the power situation.” He shrugged like it was no big deal. He seriously was a hard worker. “By the way, we got our back up generator working, but there seems to be something still wrong with the heater.” 
“Don’t worry about it! Minho and I were fine last night so I’m sure the other guests were as well.”
He chuckled. “You’re really nice. You’re like walking Christmas spirit.” You smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “Oh- the kitchen staff managed to scrap together our usual breakfast service downstairs. You should go check it out. It was nice talking to you, Mrs. Lee! Merry Christmas!”
“Oh- I’m not...” But it was too late. The bellhop was already swiftly moving down the hall. 
Deciding to move past the conversation, you headed downstairs to the breakfast buffet. The lobby was full of Christmas decorations; something you had missed last night in your urgent desire to get a room. It made you smile. A reminder that Christmas Eve was tomorrow. 
Following the delectable odor of breakfast food, you wandered into the buffet area and built two plates for you and Minho. Balancing the full platters of food like a professional circus performer, you journeyed back up to the room. By some feat, you opened the door and entered the still freezing room.
Minho sat up in bed, still looking half asleep. “I...I- uh... I brought breakfast. I wasn’t sure what you liked so-”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll eat anything warm right now.” 
Wearing a nervous smile, you sat down on the bed across from Minho and handed him a plate. The two of you ate in semi awkward silence, this time for a very different reason. “So-”
“About last night...” Minho started, rubbing the back of his neck. “I-...I-...you're teeth were chattering pretty loud and-”
You smiled, stopping his train of thought. You could practically see every word he had planned to say leave his brain. “You don’t have to say anything. Thank you, Minho.” The boy nodded, hair falling into his eyes as he looked down at the plate of food.
Another silence followed only slightly less awkward. “If you don’t mind me asking,” Minho’s head raised at your voice. “Why do you hate Christmas so much?” He sighed, shoving a sausage in his mouth and chewing on the savory food. 
“I just never really got the whole Christmas thing. My family never celebrated. Every time we try to get together for the holidays everything just seems to go wrong. Just like how things are going now.” He scoffed picking up another sausage.
“Okay...I can respect that. But...you’re hatred of Christmas seems to be more than that.”
Minho rolled his eyes. Contradicting his actions, he reached over and placed a piece of his toast on your plate. “It’s just....I don’t get it. Like, explain to me what is so great about Christmas.”
You set your plate down with a grin and ate the piece of toast Minho gave you. “I don’t know. I just get this warm feeling around Christmas time. I love seeing all the love that people share. There is just something about Christmas that brings people together. It’s beautiful everywhere and everything is just bright and happy.”
Minho smiled watching you talk. You rambled about all the things you loved about Christmas, from making snowmen to decorating the tree, to watching people unwrap their gifts. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but there was something about the way you spoke that made his stomach twist in knots. 
At some point you stopped talking and noticed the dazed look on his face. “Did you even listen to me?” You looked down at your lap, slightly disappointed. Not liking the frown on your face Minho quickly nodded his head.
“Yeah, of course.” 
Before he could remedy the tension he accidentally created, your phone rang pulling away your attention. Minho watched you get off the bed and walk away to answer the phone. Your back turned, he started beating himself up about not paying full attention to what you were saying. 
“So, Minho,” You said turning to face him. “That was the auto shop. They said we should be able to pick up the car tomorrow afternoon. Thankfully we’ll be able to see the boys on Christmas Eve!” 
Minho smiled, watching your face light up at the good news. “That’s great.”
After two nights in a hotel, you were finally pulling into the driveway of the rented cabin. It was gorgeous! The huge vaulted roof was covered in snow and the warm wood stood out against the blanketed white backdrop. “Minho,” You said slapping his arm to get his attention as you parked the car. “Look how pretty this is!”
He looked up from his phone, first looking at your bewildered grin, then the lodge in front of you. “Yeah,” You stared in wonder at the place you would be staying for the next week. “Really beautiful.” Turning you found Minho already looking back at you. For some reason, just the way he was looking at you had your stomach doing somersaults.
Pushing your hair behind your ear, you attempted to calm the heat on your cheeks. Both you and Minho awkwardly laughed and looked away from each other. Pressing your hands to your cheeks, you tried to pat away the blush like an idiot. 
“THEY’RE HERE!”
Suddenly, seven rambunctious boys stampeded out of the house and came bounding through the snow to your now fixed car. They pounded happily on the windows and had you not known them, the event would be absolutely terrifying. “Guys, let us out of the car!” Minho shouted with half a laugh. 
Eventually, you were dragged into the cabin by the idols and hugged until your faces turned blue. The inside was even more beautiful than the outside. Everything was made out of wood and there was practically a wall of huge windows overlooking the snow covered forest. 
“What took you guys so long?” Jisung asked hanging off your arm. 
You sighed, ruffling his fluffy hair. Minho watched with a pointed stare. “Well, my piece of junk car broke down and so Minho and I were stuck in a freezing hotel honeymoon suite. but, now we’re here and I cannot wait to start our Christmas vacation!”
“Woah, woah, woah, woah. Back up. Honeymoon suite?” Chan asked with raise brows, looking between Minho and you. The look stopped when Minho made a slice motion across his neck. “Well....um...guys I hate to break it to you, but there's only like 5 rooms and the rest of us have already paired off.”
The band collectively ‘oo-ed’ and started jokingly shoving Minho around. “Think you lovebirds can survive without biting off each other’s heads?” Jisung said jokingly. Obviously he was kidding, but you were blushing more in the last hour than probably ever in your life. 
Thankfully, Chan noticed your embarrassed state and ushered everyone away to let the two of you settle in. Christmas Eve with the rest of Stray Kids was quite possibly one of the greatest nights of your life. By the time everyone retired for the evening, it was almost midnight. Your room was smaller than the hotel suite but shared the commonality of having....one bed. 
While Minho was in the shower, you snuck downstairs to get a better look at the tree Hyunjin, Chan, and Jeongin had put up the other day. The lights twinkled on the real tree that was standing tall in the living room. A fire was raging in the fireplace. The glow of the flames reflected in the red, gold, white, and green ornaments. 
The tree reminded you of the one your parents used to put up when you were little. Feeling the urge to act childish you crawled on your hands and knees until you could lay down under the tree and look up into the lit branches. Resting your hands on your stomach, you smiled looking up at the shiny glass orbs. 
“Y/n?” Minho called out into the wide expanse that was more than an excuse for a living room. “You in here?” Turning your head, you watched his sock feet come down the stairs two at a time. 
“By the tree,”  Through the branches you watched him approach the large Christmas tree. 
Minho chuckled and kicked your leg lightly. “Whatcha doin’ down there, idiot? you look like the Wicked Witch of the East!” He soon regretted the comment as a swift kick was directed at his unprotected calf.  “Ow!” He exclaimed, rubbing his leg. “But, really, what are you doing down there?” 
“You never did this as a kid?” He shook his head. The strong smelling fronds obstructed most of his face from your view, but you could make out the glint of his round spectacles in the firelight. “Come here!” 
Letting out a sigh with an intention you couldn’t decipher, Minho got on all fours before crawling to lay next to you under the Christmas tree. His shoulder brushed up against yours, making your skin tingle. “What’s the point of this?” He whispered after a few moments of staring at the lights. 
Shrugging, you answered, “I don’t know. When I was little, my parents fought a lot. I used to walk down in the living room and lay under the tree. Sometimes I would pretend all the little lights were stars and I would wish for a Christmas miracle hoping maybe that this year they would stop fighting. Or at least fight a little less.” As you spoke, you watched the ornaments and colorful Christmas lights sparkle and twinkle. “Some years it worked. I really did get a Christmas miracle.”
“I think you were the Christmas miracle.” Minho said turning to look at you.
“I doubt that.”
“Well...you’ve made me not...not like...Christmas. I’d say that’s miracle quality.”
You laughed, reaching for his hand on instinct. His eyes widened, but the boy let you grasp onto his fingers. “Minho, you really aren’t so bad. I feel like maybe I just didn’t take the time to get to know you.” Minho grinned. You felt like it may have been the lights, but a rosy dust filled his cheeks. 
“Yeah, well....like I said. You’re my Christmas miracle.”
You were at a loss for words. Minho shifted his fingers to interlock with yours. “Can- can I kiss you?” He asked with baited breath and furrowed brows, eyes trained on your lips. If you weren’t sure of his feelings, you knew now. Fearing your voice would betray you with any attempt to speak, you nodded and looked through the glass lenses into his deep brown eyes. They were softer than you had once thought. 
Slowly leaning over Minho pressed his lips against yours. That warm feeling returned to your stomach and slowly traveled until you’re whole body felt like it was glowing. Minho kissed you under the twinkling colorful lights of the tree, earasing every other bad thought or thing he had ever said to you before. He pulled away as the grandfather clock in the hall struck twelve. 
“Merry Christmas, Minho.” You whispered, his lips still inches away from yours. 
“Merry Christmas, Y/n.”
“GOOD MORNING CHRISTMAS LOVEBIRDS!” Hyunjin screamed, bursting into the room you and Minho shared. He shrieked seeing the two of you, legs tangled together under the sheets. With sleepy eyes, Minho sat up and tossed the pillow you were using at the blonde’s head. 
“Minho! That was my pillow!” Groaning, he just laid back down and pulled you into his chest, letting you use his arm as a headrest. 
Chan pulled Hyunjin from the floor shaking his head at the drama queen. “In all serious, guys, Jisung, Felix, and Jeongin are very eager to start opening presents so get your butts downstairs.” Minho raised his arm to shoo his leader away. The door closed returning you to your original state of privacy. 
Minho kissed your forehead, snuggling back under the warm duvet with you. “You know this is the first Christmas morning I’ve been excited to wake up. This time I’m just excited to see you though.” 
“Never would have pegged you for the cheesy type, Lee Minho.”
He chuckled, leaning down and capturing your lips in a kiss. You were unable to keep the smile from creeping up your face. “We should get down stairs. The boys will be missing us.” 
“Fiiiiine.” He grumbled, pushing himself off the bed. Slowly, your body still waking up, you swung your legs over the side. Before your barefeet could touch the ground, Minho’s hand once again wrapped gently around your ankle. He smiled up at you, kindness in his dark brown eyes. Tenderly, his long fingers slid a warm pair of his socks over your feet. “My Christmas miracle can’t have cold feet, can she?”
Smirking at your blush, Minho took your hand and led you out of the cabin bedroom. You joined the rest of the boys around the tree, Jisung already tearing open a gift and Seungmin passing out presents. Minho found the last empty spot on the couch and pulled you into his lap. 
“You too seem pretty cozy,” Changbin stated, with a knowing look on his face. 
Completley oblivious to the conversation, Jisung chimed in. “So, Minho, did you finally figure out what you want for Christmas? Shopping for you was so hard!” Jisung groaned, holding his new gifted plushie in his arms. 
“I gues all I want for Christmas this year is Y/n.” Minho said with a smile. He leaned over and kissed your cheek, not afraid of any of the boys making fun of him apparently. 
“SO I SHOULD JUST RETURN THE $475 JACKET I BOUGHT YOU HUH?”
Masterlist
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embrassemoi · 3 years ago
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Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 34
Pairings: Sirius B, F!Reader, Remus L    Warnings: DARK THEMES, heavily implied domestic abuse (the Black family) A/n: I’m editing this in a restaurant rn. Nobody can say that I’m not committed! Anyway, if there’s more errors than usual, it’s bc I’m on mobile. Sorry!
【 Masterlist | Previous Chapter | ao3 】
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Chapter 34: Secrets of Our Souls
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Meet me at our place at midnight. Be careful. Make sure nobody follows you.  R.A.B
Y/N read the letter several times before folding it in half while her eyes glazed the crowd of students in the Great Hall in search of Regulus.
A no-show.
Since the start of the term, she’d been trying to get hold of Regulus but her attempts were futile. He was as finicky as a shadow, never staying still long enough for her to grasp, to spot.
Everything about his inconspicuous disappearance and the peculiar letter left her deeply unnerved. He'd even gone as far as using a different owl to respond to her letters; not the usual Black family owl.
In many ways, Regulus was mysterious; highly unusual — dare she say frightening.
“Oh!” Marlene exclaimed. “A secret admirer?”
“Give it back!” Y/N said indignantly as Marlene pried the letter from her hand, unfolding it. Before she could read the contents, Y/N nearly tackled it out of her grasp, snatching it back while Marlene pouted. “It’s private.”
Continuing to sulk, Dorcas smiled at Marlene. From between the sliver of space from under the wooden table and their bodies, she watched as Dorcas held Marlene’s hand; thumb grazing over her knuckles. Y/N eyed them questioningly.
“What are you not telling us?” Dorcas mused, leaning on the table with a sly smirk.
Marlene snapped her fingers. “Oi! Ginger snaps!”
Lily peered over, smile vanishing, placing her fork down. “Did you just call me a…?”
“Would you prefer traffic cone then?” Mary teased.
“I like Carrots more.” Dorcas added, shyly.
“Anyway, you two are pretty much attached,” Marlene said. Had she known better, she would have recognized Marlene’s tone for jealousy. "Who sent that letter?”
Lily shrugged but her face turned downwards at her uncomfortable body language. “She said it’s private. Leave it.”
The conversation ended at that.
Y/N felt a little nudge under the table and as she looked up, Lily’s head was tilted, conveying the silent question, ‘are you okay?’ She didn’t answer as a couple of first years bounced up to Marlene, tugging down on her sleeve. She turned to them, flicking her blond hair out of her face with a wide smile.
One first year was close to tears, another one standing on their tippy-toes to whisper something in her ear.
“Please can you come to the common room? It’s scary and I-I miss my dad!” One of the first years cried out.
Marlene cooed, hugging them lovingly. With a nod, she stood and pressed a kiss to the side of Dorcas’ cheek. She managed to make it seem like she was whispering in her ear before turning back to the group. “See you tossers later!”
Dorcas watched Marlene walk away. First years jumping, hanging off of her while Dorcas’ fingers grazed the spot on her face where she kissed her. She dazzled radiantly.
Before midnight, Y/N left her dorm, heading to the Marauder’s room and knocked on their door. She vaguely heard footsteps approaching before it opened.
She smiled before she could even register it. “Moony.”
He grinned widely. “Whiskers,” Remus said pleasantly, leaning against the door frame, his hair falling slightly over his eyes. “How may I help you?”
“Seeing you has already helped a lot.” She joked while Remus blushed madly. She laughed at his reaction. “I need to talk to Bambi.”
Remus had his eyebrows raised but opened the door wide and beckoned her in.
She noticed a bed pushed far to the left, isolated from the other beds. The curtains were almost nearly closed aside from the sliver that was still open. Black was there, book in hand with a few pieces of parchment laid surrounding him. He was already looking up at her.
They truly isolated Black from them in every way possible.
“Oh hey, Y/N.” Peter smiled before throwing her a small wrapped sweet her way. “Greetings!”
“Thanks, Pete!” She caught it. And dropped onto James’ bed. His glasses were strewn, laying on his bedside table as he flicked through his book.
“To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“Do you mind if I borrow your invisibility cloak tonight?”
James surprisingly didn’t push further as he simply went through his trunk and threw her the cloak, only asking that she would be careful with it.
She hopped out of the room, rushing out to the cold corridors and threw the cloak over her head. As she passed through various hallways, she finally opened the door to her and Regulus’ small hideout. A couple of candles were lit and the familiar Slytherin and Gryffindor blankets clashed together.
Huddled in the corner of the room on the couch, small and curled with his legs pressed against his chest and chin perched on his knees, Regulus was there, shaking.
She rushed up to him, keeping her hand visible and only touching him when he realized it was her. Consoling people was always a challenge in itself.
“What happened?”
Regulus’ voice was strained and tired. “C-can you hug me? Please?”
Her heart could have shattered as she roped him into a large, crushing hug. His aching sobs crashed through her chest. Y/N’s arms were tight around Regulus, his head face pressed against her shoulder and she could feel his tears seep through her shirt. Doing the best she could, she soothed him, petting his hair.
She couldn’t tell just how much time had passed until Regulus’ snuffles calmed down as he harshly wiped his tears. It was the first time she was able to truly get a close-up of how he looked.
To put it lightly, Regulus looked like shit.
Any of that regal, youthful glow of his diminished. And she realized it only faded whenever he went home. His skin was dull and grey, eyes sunken. Even his long hair was cut lopsidedly.
“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked.
“I… It’s…” Regulus trailed off, face full of worry and trouble. “It’s…”
“It’s okay,” she rubbed her hand up and down his shoulder. “You don’t have to tell me.”
But something caught her eye. Regulus’ trousers rode up in his shaking state. A large bandage was wrapped messily on his leg. The skin around the bandage was red and a few scars peaked out. But as soon as she realized, he had too and quickly pulled the fabric down.
“... What is that?” She asked softly. She didn’t know what it was, but something heavy sunk in her chest — the feeling of sickening, frightening dread.
He refused to answer.
“You have to get that checked out —”
“No!” Regulus shouted, complete panic filtering through his face.
“Whatever that is, it isn’t going to heal properly if we don’t.”
Regulus debated for a while and she saw the conflict on his face before relenting. “I’m embarrassed by it…”
She mustered up any kind of energy left and smiled. “I won’t judge you.” She managed to catch his eye and held it. She went over her options quickly.
1. Leave Regulus?
Option one was already tossed out the window. The weight of the situation was far too grave to continue to let it slide by again and again.
2. Press further?
But how?
3. Make him feel comfortable?
Bingo.
If he was ashamed by his scars, then maybe if she showed hers…
She turned to Regulus, lifting her sleeve. A scar ran across her forearm from Snape’s attack during the Quidditch match.
“I got this a couple of months ago in a nasty fight.” Then she pointed to the small scar on her leg from when she was dragged by Moony. "I got this from an accident."
But then, she sucked in a deep breath, mustering up all her bravery and courage, pushing down every bit of insecurity. She tugged down the collar of her shirt a bit, just enough to reveal the top of a much more faded scar that travelled down to her sternum. “And I got this from a heart surgery.”
She fixed her shirt to sit properly again. “I was born with a heart defect. It went undetected until my mom found me, hardly breathing and had to perform open-heart surgery on me. I was supposed to die but here I am. Healthy and alive and I haven’t had a problem since.”
Regulus looked up at her wide-eyed and his body became less stiff.
“I used to be so… ashamed of it. Maybe I still am, I never talk about it… Only you, my mom and someone at Ilvermorny knows. But my point is, I am more than my scars, and you are too.”
She swallowed her fear, now cursing herself and resolved to shut up. Waiting, she wondered that since she showed him the scars that perhaps he would too.
Regulus considered her, almost astonished, finally moving to pull up his trousers and peeling off his bandage, wincing while doing so.
It felt like a cold bucket of water was splashed all over her body. She desperately tried to keep her face blank as the overwhelming urge to cry while combating the wave of nausea hit her.
His skin was butchered — fiery red. They weren’t neat, like what a surgeon's scalpel would be like, but messy, crisscrossed and viciously deep. It had hardly healed and they were old enough to be a little over a week or two old. And undoubtedly painful.
Whoever did that to him was enraged, furious.
“Shit… Regulus… who did this?” She asked quietly, more to herself than him as he remained silent. She stood, commanding, “We need to get you fixed up.”
“It’s not that b —”
“Stop lying.”
“Just don’t take me to the hospital wing.”
Wanting to know more, she was too afraid that any more prying would result in Regulus completely shutting down and withholding more information. Instead, she picked up the invisibility cloak, threw it over him and wrapped an arm underneath Regulus' arms to help him walk out of the room.
She went to the only other place she knew she would be able to offer any resemblance of help.
Once reaching the Potions classroom, muttering Alohomora, Y/N helped Regulus sit down comfortably at one of the extra tables and immediately got to work. All sorts of magic went around as she grabbed an extra textbook and flipped to the Essence of Dittany page.
Shelves, jars and cabinets opened and closed on their own accord, all taking ingredients as they fell into a boiling cauldron.
“What are you doing?” Regulus questioned, nervously drumming his fingers on the table.
“Making you something.”
It was still between them. She didn’t know what to say, only what to do. Everything went through her mind like a step-by-step process, like a robot categorizing its own emotions.
Because what was the right response to something like this?
She stared at the bubbling cauldron, slowly stirring to avoid eye contact. “You don’t have to tell me but… you didn’t do this to yourself —”
“No,” Regulus said, calmly and steadily.
“Then… to the person — people who did… will they bother you again?”
“Probably not… I’ll be okay.”
It wasn’t the answer she was hoping for.
Once the potion was completed, she poured it inside an applicator and made sure to cast a quick cleaning spell. A soft blue glow emitted around his leg until disappearing. She looked up to him, fisting his shirt and shoved it inside his mouth. “I’m sorry, this is going to hurt.”
She took the applicator, pouring a couple drops onto his wound. A greenish smoke billowed around them as it bubbled on his skin. The skin was stitching itself back together and over his wound. Regulus moaned in pain, fist banging on the wooden table.
She finally pulled the cloth from his mouth once down and ran across the room to find more clean clothes to dab off the sweat from his face. Y/N thought for a second he was going to faint.
“I’m so sorry Reg… Sorry…”
He didn’t say anything for a while, only nodding in response meanwhile she monitored his condition. She gave him the wrapped candy that Peter gave her, hoping that it would help him regain some energy. She was beginning to grow worried that she might’ve brewed it incorrectly as her mind mulled over possible counter potions.
“I know… you said... you don’t talk to my brother much…” Regulus croaked out. She closed the book, rushing up to him. “But... you are in the same friend group… right?”
She chewed the inside of her cheek. A white lie wouldn’t hurt.
“Things changed. We’re friends. Why?”
There was a long pause. “Is he okay?”
A million questions went through her. Even if they were estranged, wouldn’t he know?
“He’s okay.” Lie. “He’s just been… stressed as of late.” True.
“Is he still staying with the Potter’s?”
“Yes.”
He smiled, eyelids drooping but everything about it told her something wasn’t right. “I’m glad.”
Regulus refused to let her help him walk back to the dungeons and left with his wound almost fully healed. And she was left with more questions than any answers as she slithered into bed.
What was he not telling her?
But then she thought about the summer with Matthew. Why had he been so surprised that she had been with a member of the Black family? Or how did he even know them? What was it about them that commanded so much respect and international recognition?
A couple of footsteps padded her way and Y/N felt her bed dip, a weight sliding beside her.
“Are you okay?” Lily whispered. “Been worried about you these past couple of days.”
“Yeah,” Y/N said, turning to the side to look at Lily through the night. “Jolly.”
“You sure? It can be our secret?”
She remained quiet and it gave Lily her answer. She turned onto her side before mumbling. “Feel free to stay tonight.” When she didn’t feel Lily leave, but she wiggled around to become comfortable, she sighed, forcing herself to sleep.
There was certainly far too much happening in her life at the moment for her to fully care about Lily’s bizarre and avoidant behaviour. She just wanted the next day to come.
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The next few days were uncomfortable and Y/N was beyond exhausted.
Breakfast was nothing more than her sipping on a glass of water, studying the Slytherin table, worried for Regulus.
Was he being bullied? Was he… no… the wound was a bit too old for it to have taken place at Hogwarts.
She spent most of the day in the library, simply reviewing her Herbology and Advanced Potions textbook.
Much to James’ dismay, all the free periods they had in sixth year were due to the overwhelming work and increased difficulty in lessons. Fortunately for Y/N, Potions was partially a free class and she never had to worry about it aside from the essays. It was far too easy.
During class, she would figure out new techniques, tricks, but to her dismay, Slughorn had really enjoyed how both she and Snape performed together and often paired them up during potions. She hated to admit it, but there was a reason why Snape was a favourite student of Slughorn. He had talent. Although, he was in a permanently vindictive mood around her which made him even more unbearable.
The tip of her eagle-feather quill moved across the pages of the textbook and she pulled back momentarily to review her book.
Nightshade… Powdered silver… Stewed Mandrakes… Slughorn had said it helped werewolves… What if Remus —
“Whiskers! There you are!” James said, strutting up. He sat down on the couch beside her, both tucked away in the corner of the library.
She gave a little wave of her fingers before closing her book. James suddenly became slightly dejected at her reaction. She couldn’t force herself to put on a show.
“Something wrong?”
Y/N felt like there were no answers to everything that had been happening recently. Only if Matthew was there.
But James was.
“I need to ask you something.”
His head swivelled around to see if anyone with prying ears was listening in before nodding.
“Could you tell me about the Black family?”
She had never seen James go so rigid. His cheek hallowed as he chewed the inside of his cheek and waited for her to elaborate.
“I know I don’t talk about it but Regulus is a friend of mine.” She didn’t miss the way James stiffened further at that. “And he’s… worrying me. He’s… god, I don’t know what to say.”
James threw up a silencing spell, encircling them. “It’s okay, go on.”
“Regulus’ leg was butchered. I think he’s being bullied or it’s darker than that.”
James’ skin, which was usually a warm, rich look, seemed as if it paled, almost giving him a gray appearance. “Did he say anything about his family?”
“No. But he never talks about them. Is that the reason why Black stays with you?”
“Even with the non-existent respect I have for Black, I feel like I can’t tell you much,” James said and she understood why. “But the Black family — they’re fucking insane. Their Pureblood mania is probably one of the worst I’ve ever seen.” James took a moment to look at her reaction after mentioning blood purity. “He has a reason to be scared of them.”
“So you’re telling me that his family… they hurt him?”
James looked down, the gravity of their conversation finally hitting him. He took off his round glasses, rubbing his temples. “I’m not sure. Maybe? It was probably another Slytherin. His parents… love him — I don’t see them laying a hand on him. He didn’t mention running away? Did he?”
“No.”
She heard James curse under his breath as he grabbed his hair out of habit. “I’ll talk to him.”
“About what? You can’t tell him I told you, he’ll —”
“Relax. I won’t. I’ll ask him to move in with me.”
Y/N felt like she could faint there and then. Everything in her body felt wobbly, weak as she grappled with the idea of Regulus and his home life. Then Black… did he also go through what Regulus has been through? The thought made her sick.
James’ voice tugged her back to reality. “Promise me something.” She waited for him to continue.
“I know Regulus is your friend and that he’s going through a rough time but…” James struggled with his words. “But… be careful around him. He’s not much of a threat but his family is. There’s a reason why Black lives with me; no matter how angry, how much I hate him, I would never let him go back there. To them.
“The war is approaching and they have eyes all on Regulus — watching everything he does.”
Goosebumps covered her entire body. Everything James said sounded more like an underlying threat of sorts. She wondered if that was the reason why he refused to be seen with her publicly. “Are you saying that he’s a Death Eater?”
“No,” James responded briskly. “But it’s not to say his parents won’t force him to. If you knew his family, you would understand —”
Both students snapped their heads up from the figure slowly approaching them as James eased off the silencing charm.
Professor Elway was there, holding a large leather-bound book and a stack of parchment, most likely essays she had to grade. She only gave a small nod to James before smiling widely at Y/N which caused James to mutter something vaguely familiar that sounded like ‘favouritism.’
“Ms. L/N! How wonderful to see you!” Elway was enlivened. “I was just thinking about you.”
“Oh! Erm — thank you?”
Elway laughed, “Your work has been incredible! I’m very impressed.”
She felt James nudge her under the table.
“Oh!” The professor exclaimed. “There’s a Duelling club session tonight I’m supervising. I’d love to see you there?”
“I’m sorry, but we have a paper due in Transfigurations.” James helped, cutting in for her. She felt herself relax into her chair.
In no time, Defence Against the Dark Arts became Y/N’s favourite class and duelling was incredibly fun, but all she wanted to do was sleep. Perhaps another time…
Professor Elway gave a little sigh but nodded her head. “Then I’ll see you next session! Have a good day, Ms. L/N and Mr..?”
“Potter.”
“My apologies, Mr. Potter. Have a fine day!”
While they watched her leave, both students were left with a similar deep, icy trepidation that clawed at their soul and a single question heavy in their hearts.
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【 Next Chapter 】
© gotkindabored 2021. Do not repost, translate or modify
100 notes · View notes
rainbowtransform · 4 years ago
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Neither Of Us Will Be Missed
Hello! This is a wip I’ve been trying to get done for a bit now! It’s Manhunt Dream and Dream SMP switch places, basically. :D. If you wanna read it on Ao3 it’s right here! This is the first chapter of three coming up, and I hope you guys enjoy it!
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Dream’s fingers twitch, and he grabs the final Ender Eye, examining it. He places it into the portal, hears the age old sound of a large door finally opening, and he takes a deep breath. They’re somewhere else, he thinks. His hunters are trapped somewhere else, they won’t be here until the dragon’s dead. (And then they’d Jump back to the beginning, to the not-dead dragon and the Hunters ready for another year of pursuit and tricks and they only grow smarter). 
(Dream doesn’t know why they’re all trapped in an endless cycle, but they killed him a few times, and he’d killed them, and he’d beaten the Dragon before. It never stopped, it always Jumped, and Dream never stopped running. And they never stopped chasing.)
But Dream takes a deep breath, and then jumps into the Portal.
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“Who’s Tommy?” A man in a pig mask asks him, and Dream’s immediate response is to back up just a few steps. He bumps into a cabinet, and hears a harsh breath and a finger (maybe) touching the back of his arms before Pig Mask⸺before Techno⸺takes a step forward. “Oh, that guy⸺”
Dream pulls out his axe and holds it up to Techno. “Who the fuck’s Tommy?” Dream asks, feeling dumb as Techno’s own expression changes into a look.
What the fuck are you talking about, Dream, he’s asking. Dream doesn’t respond with one of his own, instead opting to look around while keeping Techno in sight. There’s an Enderman sitting in a boat, there’s a cabinet behind Dream with someone inside it. There’s particles all around them and there’s deep gasps coming from that area, (invisibility); there’s chests next to the Enderman, Techno’s in front of Dream, and there’s windows all around him with two doors next to Techno. 
Dream holds the axe tighter, acknowledges how Techno doesn’t take his eyes off Dream’s hands and then. Just the slightest flicker to the cabinet behind him, Techno lunged forward and Dream bolts.
He manages to snag Techno’s cape, blue instead of his signature red, on his axe and Dream kicks open the doors and runs into the forest.
                                                          ***                                                                
Dream covers his tracks, swipes snow over his footprints and makes new, fresher ones going in tons of directions. He breaks twigs, and branches, overturns rocks and tries to pretend to rush through something. It’ll make it more believable, but it won’t hold Techno for long. When it’s done, Dream climbs into a tree and examines the inventory that’s been given to him. 
A stack and a half of steak, Netherite armor, Netherite weapons, some wood, sticks, half a stack of bread. Some iron, Enderpearls, no blaze powder, but Dream’s been given worse. He’s got a water bucket, too. And Techno’s cape, which he think he needs to put on a branch somewhere else. So, all he’s got to do is find a lava pool, and he’d be good enough for the Nether. This Hunter must be Techno (but how?) instead of his Normal ones. Dream has to be extra cautious about this. Even if the Jump resets, Dream still can get hurt, injured, and killed. 
Dream makes a little place for himself in the trees, splits half of a loaf and eats it quickly. He wraps up his arm, bleeding from the fight earlier. Dream watches as the moon rises, and knows that when dawn breaks tomorrow, he’ll be up and ready to go.
Nether tomorrow, find blaze rods, make Ender Eyes, find the End Portal, fight the Dragon.
It’s a plan. It’s a plan, and it’s Dream’s plan, but he knows that there’s going to be hiccups along the way. Techno won’t let himself go down this easy, nor will he ever actually let Dream go. Techno doesn’t rest easy, and Dream knows that the whispers of Technoblade never dies aren’t just whispers. 
Dream sets himself, takes a deep breath and settles down. He can go to sleep, can’t he? He’s safe for right now. 
(But Techno’s looking, Dream. You aren’t safe here.)
Dream climbs higher in the tree.
                                                          ***                                                                
“Where are you?” Fangs calls. “Come on, Mask. We’re not playing anymore.”
Dream holds his breath, refuses to move from his spot in the wall. The compass Fang keeps around his neck with string sticks on Dream’s skin. They’ve all got a Compass, and some of them keep it close to them (Flame keeps his in a gold chain, in the same place as Fang, while Cat and Bow keep theirs in their backpacks. They’re all back-ups, after all.)
But Dream got the compass. He stole Fang’s compass. And Fang’s alone, right now, so he can’t find Dream and if Dream doesn’t move, or make any sound he’d never find him. Fang clicks his tongue, and snarls. 
“When I find you,” he promises. “I’m taking the compass back.”
“Or next Jump,” Cat says and Dream hears a quiet thump as he jumps down and peers around. 
“Hey,” Fang says. “Do you mind if I borrow your compass?”
“I left mine at the Base,” Cat said. “George is brewing a bunch of potions, though. I guarantee if we go back right now, he’ll be done with them. We can come back and find him then.”
Fang hums. “I think he’ll be long gone by then.”
“But we’ll still have three more Compasses. And we’ll get yours back.”
Fang sighs. “Of course,” he says. “Where else is he going to go where we can’t follow?”
“That’s the Spirit,” Cat says. 
They walk away, and Dream breathes a sigh of relief.
                                                          ***                                                                
Dream wakes up an hour into the sunrise, and he bolts upward. There’s nothing there, just some clean fresh snow and Dream shivers. His hoodie’s designed to keep him warm in some rough temperatures but not in extreme cold like the fucking Arctic. On the bright side with the snow, his old tracks are now covered and Dream can go about running through the trees. 
Dream moves quickly, he slides down onto a lower branch and jumps to the other trees. He weighs skipping breakfast (the other half of the bread) before his hunger gets the better of him. He’s been doing Jumps since he was sixteen, and he has done his fair share of skipping plenty of meals and fainting (and, by result, failing the Jump) so he’s already decided to not do that. 
He eats the bread as he goes, and almost misses the branch. But he scrambled to grab a hold to the tree’s trunk with his (freezing) fingers, and he almost snarled. But Dream’s also learned when to be quiet and when to be bold. He holds onto Netherite things and (no doubt) Techno’s got them, too. The Jump’s all about being fair, and Dream with Netherite, even against Techno, is not fair.
Dream rights himself on the tree and takes a quick glance around again. Some snow is shaken off the trees where Dream had landed, but he shakes it off. By the time Techno comes looking in this area, Dream will already be far far away in the Nether. 
Dream folds his fingers into his armpit, trying to think for just a moment. While his fingers warm up again, he’s already planned for three encounters, two deaths, and a reset. 
He doesn’t want to walk through the snow, but with how the forest is growing thin, there’s no choice. He slips down, lands with a crunch sound and Dream stands. The snow’s basically covering his lower body right now and he tries to wipe it off before it melts into his jeans.
Dream takes off Techno’s cape and throws it over a high branch. That’ll at least confuse him for a second, if Techno’s smart (which he is) then Dream just bought himself about thirty seconds of escape time. 
He sets off to find a lava pool, or a warmer climate at least. Dream climbs over some hills, checking for a flash of pink or a glint of something before he continues onward. But there’s nothing except the endless Arctic and some blue dye that’s been scattered around. He’s brushing the snow off his shoulders, when he notices the purplish glint of a Portal just a couple paces away from him. 
Nether, Dream thinks. He’s got to find the Fortress, get some blaze rods and then get back to the same portal, in the same freakin’ Arctic. (But he can bring some lava with him, right? To keep him warm? It worked last time, when Bow and Flame were the only ones who were chasing him. 
Dream steps through the Portal, hoping that the bucket of water won’t evaporate in his pack, and he goes from a freezing temperature, to overwhelming heat
                                                          ***                                                                
He’s on a pathway, snaking its way toward something else, and Dream’s instantly wary. He’s shifting, ready to jump off the side of the pathway before he notices the huge lava pool that’s below him. 
“Okay,” he mutters. “Then I guess we’re following the path.” He holds onto the compass around his neck and darts forward. 
There’s a bunch of cobblestone and a wood bridge that’s just… it’ll burn too easy, Dream notes. But it also might help to keep Hunters off Dream’s trail. Dream pushes his way through and there’s another portal sitting right in the middle of this huge place. There’s a chest a couple steps away which Dream riffles through and ultimately thinks that it’s useless. 
And he looks at the portal, sticks a hand through it and then takes it back. He really should go find the Nether Fortress. But, the portal’s also ticking his curiosity and Puffy always told Dream that he’s never satisfied. 
And if this portal takes him to a different one, then he won’t have to go back to the Arctic! 
So, he steps through.
                                                          ***                                                                
Niki laughs and runs her fingers through Dream’s hair. “You’re just full of questions today, aren’t you duckling?”
Dream nods, and points at the bowl she’d been mixing. “What’s in it?” He questions again and Niki laughs. She’s almost twenty-one years old, and Mom and her have been together for almost a year now. 
“Oh, it’s just something really quick that I’m making.” Niki says, smiling. “Some jelly tarts, maybe a pie later on. Want to help?”
Dream nods eagerly, and there’s a brief moment of: what am I meant to do? Before Niki gives him a bowl and a whisk and shows him how to mix the ingredients without making a mess of himself and the kitchen. 
When Mom comes home from Foolish’s doctor appointment, there’s cooling pastries in the kitchen and two sleeping people on the couch.
                                                          ***                                                                
He’s standing on a town. That’s the only way he can explain it, and he’s staring across at this huge building. It’s red and stone bricks build on top of the water itself; and Dream takes a quick step forward, eyes dark. He wonders why, exactly, it’s there. 
(You can hide there, Dream. For a little bit. Techno won’t know you’re here.)
And so he breaks into a run, and slides into the house quickly and quietly. He takes a deep breath, and looks through the windows, his mask feeling plain in this colorful world. There’s a huge castle to the left of him, a quartz building to the right and right in front of him looks like a courthouse and another house that’s been abandoned. 
(Hide, hide, hide, hide, they’re here. Can’t you hear the heartbeat? Let’s go.)
Dream takes off, and he hears a quick shout behind him, but it doesn’t matter. He’s got to go, and he slides to the left and runs to the castle. It’s big enough for Dream to climb the tops of it and get away from whoever’s calling his name right now. 
The compass burns hot on Dream’s skin.
                                                          ***                                                                
“Mom.” Dream says, lips stiff. “Mom I didn’t do it, okay? Whatever they’re saying, I didn’t do it, Mom. Mom, please.” Dream’s sixteen.
He’s scared. He doesn’t know what he’d done to deserve this, but whatever it is, it’s apparently bad enough that a Hunter’s after him. Niki is holding onto Puffy’s hands, and Foolish is crying, he’s reaching for Dream. 
“‘Dream. Dream!” Foolish keeps saying, reaching for him. He wants to be hugged, and Puffy’s holding him back. 
“Duckling,” Puffy says, her eyes wet. “Dream.” 
And his head snaps to meet her eyes. She never calls him Dream. Niki guides Foolish further into the home, all the while he keeps looking back at Dream, and Puffy looks away, swallows, and then remeets her son’s eyes. “Dream,” she says again. “I can’t…. We can’t…”
“Mom,” Dream says again, voice breaking. “Mom, please. I didn’t, Mom.”
“No, Dream.” She says. “You’ve got a Hunter on your back. And with Foolish, we can’t. I’m sorry, duckling.”
And she closes the door, and Dream’s left with a chill right to his very bones.
“Mom,” he whispers. “Puffy…”
                                                          ***                                                                
And that’s the first face he sees once he’s climbed to the top of the castle. Puffy, looking at him with her mouth open, calling his name. His hands shake, and he takes a moment to drink her in. Her hair’s the same as always, and she’s wearing Netherite. That’s weird.
Only Hunters get Netherite. 
She’s not a…?
(She is, she is, she is. Stay away from me, stay away from me, stay away from me.)
                                                          ***                                                                
He takes a look at the others, too. There’s a boy with bandages all over his arms, a almost-naked guy walking with him, a creeper hybrid (Warden, stay away), and⸺Cat.
(He’s not alone, but he is alone. But everyone else had Netherite except the boy does that mean they’re all Hunters? Is the boy an apprentice?)
Dream feels a tear roll down his cheek. Puffy’s his mother, sue him. Doesn’t mean he can’t miss her. Why are there so many Hunters? He jerks forward, loses his balance just slightly, and hears the creeper call up a “be careful,” and Dream shrinks back and lets loose a hiss. 
The creeper hisses back and Dream bares his teeth. Cat doesn’t look like he really cares all that much, but he just calls a simple “Don’t fall. Remember what happened last time you tried to climb the castle?”
Dream says nothing back. Cat raised an eyebrow and waits, impatient and taps his foot. “You’re just not gonna say anything?” Cat calls again, and Dream edges toward the edge of the Castle’s back. 
“Dream?” Cat calls again, and Dream snaps his head over. 
“You don’t know my name,” he shouts finally. “You’ve never learned it. How did you find out?”
“Your name?” Cat calls. “Why wouldn’t I know it?”
“Duckling?” Puffy calls, looking worried. 
Of course, Dream thinks, glancing back to Puffy. Why wouldn’t he know his name? They’ve got his mother on their side. 
“Dream?” Is that⸺Bow? Flame?⸺“What’re you doing up there?”
Dream swallows. Five Hunters. God, he’s really in trouble isn’t he. 
He jumps.
                                                          ***                                                                
Dream is sixteen, and he’s on his own. He’s got one Hunter on his tail, and he’s killed the Hunter a million times. Dream’s been killed a million times, and he’s killed the Dragon a million times. Each time, it resets him with the Hunter to a different World and Dream doesn’t know why. 
He’s Captain Cara Puffy’s kid. He’s got to survive for his brother, and for his mothers. The crystal in his pocket hums warmly. At night, Dream takes it out and he knows that it honed into his Home World, and he wonders what’ll happen if he takes it home.
The Hunters would find him and his parents, wouldn’t they? They’d hurt his family, just to get to him. And isn’t that ironic? Dream hasn’t hurt anyone. 
He hasn’t. Dream doesn’t know where Wilbur and Tommy went, he doesn’t know how Technoblade managed to escape but he wasn’t involved. He wasn’t. 
Foolish comes to Dream’s mind. His birthday already passed and he’s what? Ten now? Maybe older, but Dream can’t quite remember what age he is, let alone his brother. (Age didn’t matter when he was sixteen and on his parents’ doorsteps, with a Hunter closing in on time; age didn’t matter when he was almost seventeen and threw himself off a cliff because that’s better than dying to a Hunter. Age doesn’t matter when you’re on the run.)
But that hasn’t happened yet. Right now, he’s still sixteen running from One Hunter.
                                                          ***                                                                
Dream rolls to a crouch, and takes off again. He’s got Technoblade, Cat, Bow, Flame, Puffy and the Warden after him. Dream keeps going, oblivious to his mother’s calls of his name and his nickname. He can't, he won’t go back. This is a trick, he thinks to himself and he looks over at the forest that’s beside him and the buildings thats in front of him.
He makes a rash decision, and runs into the woods.
148 notes · View notes
dearkusuo · 4 years ago
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Ch. 1 ☆ Last Christmas
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Synopsis: You were intent on avoiding your ex-boyfriend all of winter break, however, your mom and her best friend had other plans lined up for you.
Pairing: Saiki Kusuo x reader
Tags: college au, fluff, angst
Word Count: 2.7k
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m.list ▪︎▪︎▪︎ 1 ▪︎▪︎▪︎ 2
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Thick clouds painted the darkening sky a dull grey while streetlights began to glow over the horizon. The cold air bit the skin on your cheeks, tinting them a shade of red the moment you stepped out of the car you parked by the curb. Your fingers fumbled to button up the coat you wore as a chill ran down your frame. 
You opened up the trunk to take out your belongings stored inside, promptly closing it shut soon after. The siren of your vehicle went off once as you locked it up, and you trotted to your porch, suitcase trailing behind while you dragged it along. 
 Flashy decorations were displayed all over your front lawn, and colourful lights were strung on the tiles of your roof. You resignedly shook your head at the extravagant presentation. 
Your parents tended to be overly zealous when it came to Christmas decorations. You’ve known that for as long as you can remember, but it didn’t make you any less hesitant to see the setup they arranged for the interior. 
Your hand drifted over the doorbell, leaving it extended in the air for a long moment. You hoped they remembered that you no longer have a house key and got home from work early. The sound of the bell rang aloud as you pressed the buzzer.
You instinctively flinched back when the door flung open seconds later. Your mother let out a squeal, wrapping her arms around you in excitement while you returned the tight embrace, a small grin gracing your lips. She hastily pulled you inside when a gust of wind passed by, causing you both to shiver. The change of temperature warmed your frigid body.
 The living room was lavishly accentuated with festive ornaments, just as you thought. Silver tinsel outlined the furniture while a heavily adorned Christmas tree noticeably stood at a corner of the room. Red stockings and green holly wreaths hung on the wall and the smell of gingerbread filled your nostrils.
Your brows lifted in surprise when you spotted your next-door neighbour sitting comfortably on your couch.
“This is unexpected,” you uttered.
Your mother’s best friend, Mrs. Saiki, stood up and ambled her way to you. She took your palms in her grip and greeted you with a hello.
"How long has it been?" She wondered.
"About a year," you answered plainly, shifting your weight from one foot to the other.
She brought both her hands over her lips to cover up a gasp. "It’s been that long? You really should come home more often."
A deep hum left your throat as you courteously nodded along in agreement. You turned your attention to your mother with a puzzled look on your face when she lightly tapped your shoulder 
“Before you arrived just now, Kurumi and I were thinking that it would be a great idea for us to spend the holidays together, so we decided to have a small party on Christmas Eve,” she mentioned cheerfully.
You gave another nod and replied casually, “Alright.” The two women often spent time in each other’s presence, so it wasn't unusual for them to plan on spending Christmas together. It was probably just a get-together they were having with the rest of their friends. “You two have fun then.”
“Actually, it will just be both of our families attending,” your mother corrected.
Your tone dropped an octave lower, “Oh?”. The implication that you had to be present heavily dripped from her words. Were they really expecting you to tag along with them?
"We thought it would be a great idea since you don’t come home a lot, and all of us hardly see each other anymore."
“Kusuo just returned from college this morning, and even Kusuke is visiting for a while,” Mrs. Saiki blurted out excitedly.
"It'll be like old times," your mother added.
Like old times. When your families always spent time together. When you were together. 
It left a bitter taste in your mouth.
Your mother and her friend happily beamed at each other, oblivious of your deteriorating mood. The turn of events left you unwilling to participate in the conversation any longer.
"I gotta go unpack,” you announced. 
“Of course, you must’ve had a long day,” Mrs. Saiki exclaimed.
“It was nice seeing you again,” you conceded, keeping up a polite smile. She gave your hand a final pat before you retreated.
"Your dad is upstairs. You should go see him first," your mother suggested.
You mumbled an acknowledgement as you marched up the second floor with your luggage in tow. As was requested, you gave a quick greeting to your father before you entered your room.
The familiar space was left in a spotless and tidied condition that led you to believe that your parents regularly dusted and maintained it in your absence. Your bedsheet was neatly tucked in without a wrinkle to be seen, and your shelves were conveniently organized. Frantically, you went through your desk drawers to check if they had snooped through your personal belongings. 
You faltered once you opened the last compartment. The sight of a wrapped present left untouched caused you to momentarily pause in shock. Your handwriting was scribbled out in black sharpie on the gift wrap, addressing it to Saiki Kusuo. 
You never did get the chance to give it to him. Closing the drawer, you made a mental note to throw it out when you got the chance. 
 You looked out the window in musing. He must’ve known that you were coming back today. The dark, dull sky was tainted white by the snowflakes that began to descend to the ground.
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You padded down the stairs late in the morning. The smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the air. Your father sat on the couch, watching the broadcast that was showing on the TV.
"Hey," he said with a wave of his hand. He briefly looked at you before returning his attention to the news channel. You gave a simple greeting in return.
"I made plans to meet with Chiyo and Kokomi today. We're eating out, so I'll be back in a few hours," you explained, already halfway to the exit.
"Alright,” your father responded idly, keeping his eyes trained on the screen. “Your mom and I made plans with the neighbours as well. We might not be home by the time you get back."
"Got it," you called from outside the door frame. You made your way to your car, hopping on the driver’s seat and revving the engine to life with a twist of the ignition.
The drive took a little longer than it usually would have, as the weather from the previous night left a thin layer of ice covering the road. Fortuitously, you had snow tires installed on your automobile beforehand, ensuring that you made it to your destination safely.
Your friends were already occupying a booth by the time you arrived at the diner. They bombarded you with conversation the moment you sat down, anxious to know what you’ve been doing for the past few months. You apprehensively informed them of what your mother and her best friend had planned for Christmas Eve.
"That's not gonna end well," Kokomi remarked.
"Tell me about it. What were they thinking?" Chiyo griped. "You’d think they’d know how awkward it would be for you and Saiki since you two are, you know, exes."
"I don't think they care," you grumbled in a distressed tone.
You crossed your arms over your chest, brooding over the unwanted encounter that was sure to happen.
"So, what are you gonna do?" Kokomi asked.
You shrugged wearily before responding, "I’ll probably stay for a bit, then dip whenever I can." 
There was a high chance that you’d somehow get roped back into the party, but you currently didn’t have any other solutions to your dilemma. Anything was fine as long as you could spend as little time with him as possible.
A ruminating silence fell between the three of you.
“When did you guys break up again?” Chiyo inquired.
“Last year, on winter break. Around this time of the season.” 
You directed your focus on the plate of food you ordered as memories of the previous December flooded your mind. Your nose crinkled in concentration.
“It must’ve been hard for you guys to be in a long-distance relationship,” Chiyo pronounced with a long sigh.
The distance was never an issue for the two of you since he could teleport to your location anytime.
“Yeah,” you mumbled.
 Towards the end of the relationship, it felt like you were the only one who cared enough to keep things afloat. You gave it your all while he usually lacked the initiative to make an effort out of the limited time your college workload would allow.
But it’s not like everything was his fault. You had to admit that you often pushed past his comfort zone when he was content with just spending the day peacefully at home with you.
It was your dynamic that ultimately convinced you to break up with him. The two of you simply weren’t compatible together. 
You quietly chewed on your food as you listened to the carefree chatter of Kokomi and Chiyo.
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You parked the car by the curb of your house. Snowflakes fluttered to the ground once again as you stepped out of the driver’s seat. You hurriedly walked to your front door, eager to get out of the freezing weather. 
There was no response when you rang the buzzer.
You let out a frustrated groan as you remembered your dad saying no one would be home when you returned. They didn’t even bother to leave a spare key for you.
You pulled out your phone, scrolling through your contacts to seek temporary shelter from a friend. Chiyo would only pry into your love life again, and you didn’t like running into Kokomi's brother. 
At this point, your best option was to stay in a random store for the next couple of hours. Your teeth began to chatter as you walked back to the front gate, ready to start your car once again.
"Oh? Look who we have here."
Your head intuitively whipped around to the source of the voice. A man with pale blonde hair strode towards you. The headgear on his head strikingly stood out.
"Kusuke? What are you doing here?" you queried.
He cocked his head to one side at your bewildered gaze.
"Did nobody tell you I was visiting for a few weeks?” 
Your eyes widened in realization as you recalled the previous night when Mrs. Saiki passingly declared that her eldest son would be returning for the holidays.
“Are you locked out?" he probed, observing your shivering frame.
You nodded timidly, unconsciously pulling your coat tighter over your torso.
"Why don't you come stop by for a bit while you wait for your parents?"
You grimaced. Knowing Kusuo, he was probably at home, minding his own business, and an interruption from both you and his brother would only put him in a foul mood. Likewise, you’d rather avoid him if you could help it.
"No, that's fine. I'll just wait at a friend's house," you insisted, shaking your head in refusal. 
"But I'm guessing none of your friends are available."
You gritted your teeth. It was always difficult to break free from Kusuke’s snare. Judging by the smirk that crept on his face, he knew that his assumption was correct. Reluctantly, you let him usher you into the Saiki residence.
Kusuke offered you a cup of tea while you patiently sat on the couch. The heat it emanated warmed your numb fingers back to life. Your eyes roamed the living room that was decorated so extravagantly, it rivalled your own. At the back of your mind, you wondered if Kusuo had teleported someplace else while you remained in his house.
 Kusuke asked you simple questions about your college experience, people you met, and your part-time job. He was being polite enough that you almost felt bad for anticipating he'd ruin the moment by being his usual overbearing self.
"Are you seeing anyone at the moment?" Kusuke inquired.
There it is. 
You didn't see how that was any of his business. A short pause lingered between you two as you kept your mouth shut. You quirked an eyebrow up in bewilderment, waiting to see where he was getting at.
"Why don't you consider going out with me?" He grinned mischievously.
"That's a lame joke, even for you," you retorted.
"How can you be so sure that I'm joking?"
You scowled at him. Kusuke didn't like people. That was enough for you to believe that he was fooling around just to get a reaction out of you. 
'What do you think you're doing?' a familiar voice rang in your mind, provoking your muscles to tense up and your jaw to lock.
He appeared out of thin air. The sight of green lenses and antennae poking out of pink hair caused you to internally panic.
"Kusuo, I was just having a chat with our lovely neighbour here." Kusuke gestured to you.
'Seems like harassment to me,' Kusuo scoffed.
"Don't be like that. It’s not like I had any ulterior motives." Kusuke chuckled. He turned to you again and imparted with a smile, "Don't take anything I've said to heart. I was just teasing you."
You figured as much, but you still couldn't help the annoyed huff you let out. 
"Did you come down here because you were feeling left out? Do you wanna join in?" Kusuke asked his little brother in a disdaining tone.
Kusuo glared at the blonde man as he quipped, 'No. I’m here to tell you to be quiet. I can hear you from upstairs.' He shifted his attention to you. The blank expression on his face caused you to fidget under his gaze.
"I got locked out of my house, so Kusuke invited me to stay here while I wait for my parents to come home," you rambled, glancing down at your lap. Although he probably already knew that.
'I'll unlock the door for you.' 
Kusuo's footsteps lightly echoed off the wooden floor. You looked up after a few seconds to see him waiting expectantly for you by the exit.
Placing down the unfinished cup of tea on the coffee table, you scrambled up from the couch. You waved goodbye to Kusuke before following his younger brother outside, softly trudging on the snow beside him.
“You look well,” you commented.
Kusuo only gave you a curt nod, a strained silence following soon after.
What did you expect? He wouldn’t bother wasting time on small talk with his ex when he was already so eager to kick you out of his house.
Both of you halted when you reached your porch. The sound of a click went off as Kusuo's hand hovered over the lock.
“Thank you,” you politely murmured, letting out a sigh in gratitude. You brazenly stole a glance at him from the corner of your eye. Kusuo's lips were pressed into a thin line, and his eyes were downcast, as though he were contemplating deeply. You thought nothing of it, returning your gaze forward.
Twisting the knob, you pushed the door open and stepped inside your home. You turned your head over your shoulder to say a coy goodbye, but no words escaped your lips.
He leaned into you, stopping a few inches from your face. Your breath caught in your throat at the intense look he gave you. Your heart skipped a beat as your body ignored your brain’s protests telling you to move.
‘Are you doing alright?’ he mused.
You could only nod in reply.
‘I see.’ 
His brows furrowed the slightest bit as he pulled back. If you hadn’t known him for years, you might not have noticed the flickering emotion on his face. You turned your body around to get a better look at him. 
Was he worried for you? It was a possibility. The two of you left on a bad note after all, and Kusuo never liked hurting someone’s feelings. Even if he didn’t care for that person anymore.
‘That’s not the case.’
"Huh?"
He vanished before your sight, leaving you standing by the door frame. The cold air breezed into your home as you wondered what he meant.
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vs-redemption · 3 years ago
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happy 2 years cindy! i’m so happy i found you and your account 💛💛💛 can i please request cotton towel with my best boy bokuto? i’ve been going to the beach a lot this summer and i just know he’d be so sweet there :))))) happy 2 years!! 💛💛💛
Thanks for the request Laney! I was so excited to write this one. I had a sort of interesting idea, so I hope you don't mind it.
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Beach Getaway (Kotaro Bokuto x Reader)
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You had tried doing beach dates with Bokuto in the past, but it never really worked out the way you hoped. In your mind, you pictured a romantic scene with the two of you relaxing and enjoying each other’s company in the warmth of the summer sun. Your boyfriend couldn’t help himself though. He always ended up getting involved with anything and everything else going on around you. He just had to go over and play with the golden retriever running back and forth along the shore, ask the random stranger to show him their cool looking surfboard, interrogate the small child about the sandcastle they were working on, and of course, join the group playing beach volleyball to help even out the team with one less player. Bokuto was just super friendly like that.
Normally you didn’t mind his outgoing personality, but you did feel slightly disheartened when he announced that he’d planned a beach getaway for you both when the rare occasion suddenly popped up where you both had a free weekend. After driving for a while though, you find yourself confused when Bokuto pulls into a random driveway rather than a resort.
“What’s up Kou? Did you take a wrong turn?” You glance away from the window to look at your boyfriend who had a familiar look of barely contained excitement shining out of his big golden eyes.
“Nope!” His face splits into a grin and he tries to throw out his arms dramatically even though the space in the driver seat was much too small for his massive form. “I rented us a cabin on the beach!” He unbuckles his seatbelt and starts to hop out already, too energized to wait. “It’ll be just the two of us all weekend!” Your heart leaps in your chest at the news and now you’re the one scrambling out of the car, skipping up the sandy concrete walkway to observe the outside of the small house while Bokuto grabbed your bags out of the trunk.
“This is incredible! I had no idea you had this planned!” You push up onto your tip toes to press a kiss to his cheek as he slips the key into your hand so you can open up the cabin and explore. The inside was just big enough for the two of you with a bedroom, living room, kitchen, and bathroom. You do a quick tour of each room before hurrying out the back door onto a small wooden deck that led right out onto a beautiful stretch of private beach. You kick off your shoes and dart off across the sand, squeaking in surprise when Bokuto comes running after you to wrap his arms around you and lift you right off the ground to spin you around once.
“Are you happy?” he asks, his voice softer than usual with an overwhelming affection filling his eyes. “I wanted to surprise you.”
“Yes! I’m sohappy!” You put one arm around his waist after he puts you down and lean into his side, letting your eyes scan over the cool water lapping up the shoreline in lazy waves. “You’re the best!” You glance over at him again when you feel his lips press sweetly against your temple.
“Let’s hurry up and go put our swimsuits on then, babe!” He shoos you back toward the house with a mischievous chuckle. “We’ll unpack everything else later.” You nod your head, agreeing to the plan while taking his hand and heading quickly back toward the house, eager to spend a perfect weekend with the man you loved.
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