#then why the fuck are they making a game set in a culture they cannot speak or understand a lick of its language

[shmowder]

yk it's always something when a game borrows from middle-eastern culture, aesthetics, and mythology or just outright takes it all as the main hook, and when you check the long list of supported languages, Arabic is nowhere in sight

[transit-fag]

Hello. I recently visited your presumably fine city, and I have to say, I did not enjoy myself.

I am reminded of a quote from AA (non active): "Principles before personalities."

Seems everywhere I went I was harassed, discriminated against, belittled, kicked out, yes sexually harassed, etc, apparently based on the characteristics of my physical appearance, as I gave no indication of political creed, religious affiliation, life philosophy, personal history, or otherwise. Like come on guys, my fashion sense is not THAT bad.

For example, a barista I interacted with saw fit to yell "no" in my face as I was attempting to order. Like fine, if you feel the need to publicly and preemptively cock block me by loudly stating your negative sexual preference towards my person, and thereby impress friends and bystanders, while letting that fella or lady you truly are smitten with know just how loyal a girl you really can be... I can't stop you. I'm sure they're great. I'm just trying to get some coffee.

Ok ok ok, so now, you (the reader) share a knowing look with the apparently psychic iindividual who tells you what to think and how to act (they obviously know about these things), who then makes a simple gesture accusing me of pedophilia and boom. Game, set, and match. It's over. Why even continue reading?

Not that either you believe what you are saying, but who gives a fuck at this point right? It's just that the look on both your faces reminds me of a smug version of the look my dog gets when he is licking his own butt.

Funny story-up until recently, I worked with an actual convicted child rapist. The genuine article. And let me tell you, he was having a fucking field day with this shit. It's ok, get it all out buddy. That's fine right? He's a part of the movement, and everyone gets something. Well, almost everyone lol;) ;)

Yes sir, it's a real pander fest out there. At an intersection, there is an environmentalist guy and a guy with the unnecessarily large and noisy truck. Given our recent political decision making process, you would think they would be staring daggers, yelling, celebratory coal rolling, etc. No absolutely not. Dudes are falling all over themselves in a mad scramble of trans political endearment. It's so simple!! All we have to do is find the one guy in society who isn't a completely gullible dumbfuck and shit all over him and poof. All problems resolved. Transgressions forgiven. A new age.

I mean, it is somewhat interesting how each of you has an individually unique rationalization for the exact same , identical patterns of hateful and abusive behavior. The tree hugger and the coal roller. Beautiful snowflakes all.

Just kidding, it's actually really easy to just place you in a cliched typology and reverse engineer your justification for participating in fascism lite (tm) based on a presumable self conception. I don't really give a fuck what lies you tell yourself in the mirror. But as your Bob Dylan said, it ain't me babe.

Point being, having superceded the political, as well as all conventional rules of civilized conduct, and or general local culture in your fair city, The Movement (tm) (ha) or whatever the fuck you call it, is the dominant social reality and governing social principle.

AND YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT

Which is fine. You do you. But please cease to labor under the illusion that you still have any translatable values, of any kind, whatsoever. It's not that open harassment or discrimination or whatever, particularly when perpetrated by a group of people in a position of social power, is wrong, per se, right? I mean, it would be interesting to hear any of you attempt to justify yourselves, but unfortunately YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT. It is forbidden. I get it. Its like fight club. That's fair. White guys have made some pretty decent movies.

Let's say you dropped $100k on a liberal arts degree. Here's a chance to exercise some critical thinking in the face of a mass social movement founded on cruelty and open hatred, which is kind of the basic purpose of such a degree. Nope. Let's say it was history. What does this say about your chosen field of study? Hide all evidence right? Or sociology. Beyond your purview. Philosophy. When in Rome? Congratulations.

A lot I could say, but, regarding the preposterous idea that this is jall ust a some organic, spontaneously occurring culture phenomenon (rationalization received from a Christian): 1. Easily forensically disprovable, I'm not even particularly well studied and I know exactly who your master is, where they work, and why, and 2. Shockingly naive, given the power dynamics of the situation, sorry no way are your overlords leaving that kind of money on the table.

I don't really feel like elaborating further other than to say that because you are unable to speak or "go back and forth with me", whatever it is that you are participating in is, on its face, complete bullshit, as you, by both structural and philosophical necessity, lack individual moral and intellectual agency, which is, in fact, and in spite of what you may believe (ask your benevolent dictator), the root of all collective historical human failure. As well as the principle rationale for a liberal arts education. But fuck it right?

So, you spent 100k on education, only to turn around and will yourself into intellectual and moral slavery, and become the object of some corporate marketing psychologist's vanity project? May I wipe my ass with that diploma?

In closing, I don't want to go over the top here and start some kind of song of myself, oh no, but having been treated like human garbage, I feel compelled to state:

In terms of adverse personal experience, I soloed goddamn Annapurna in the snow season, lived to tell the tale, and this is the shit I come back to. You are all useful idiots and your behavior is an insult to the human condition.

Why me? Honestly, because out of everyone in at least the entire western United States apparently, you could literally put a gun to my head and I would not get on whatever bullshit from the literal church of corporate Satan you all are being spoon fed. Which I guess is some sort of crime.

On behalf of myself, humanity, Jesus, the Buddha, the better angels of our nature, all the great ones who came before, rock-'n'-roll, etc, Bellingham, YOUR SCENE SUCKS.

I will enjoy the cold comfort of inner freedom and a righteous cause while watching you abandon any semblance of a coherent value system and continue to lick fascist corporate ass for a bump of cocaine (which I don't think is very punk rock:( )

In solidarity, an actual, working, breathing, locally available, and highly DMable, high 7-ish, cultural dissident.

And, let the bad faith Cassandra treatment begin.

(Unless you are feeling spry big fella. Wanna earn some points???)

UPDATE: You guys, you guys wait!!! I thought of a really good one. The hand gesture thing-that is soooo Hitler

Update to Update: WOW so many responses. I am not able to give each one the time and attention it deserves, so here I will make a brief general reply before sharing something (indeed) very special with everyone.

Briefly perusing these responses, they seemed mostly attempts and bad faith gaslighting (as predicted) along with a sprinkling of salty literary criticism. I, at least, personally, found the gaslighting amusing, because I said you would do it, and you still did it anyway. Lol.

But really, everyone here, myself included, knows that besides "though shalt not speak," like the second rule in the playbook (which apparently descended from Shiva on a ray of light or some shit) is "Just keep doing it," so really this discussion is basically pointless, other than to point out that based on your actions, you are now complicit in an ongoing attempt to manufacture a historical falsehood about our society as it exists today, which, to me, is somewhat mind-blowing and honestly something of a privilege to witness firsthand. Now on to the important stuff.

Driving home today, listening to some predictably tinny, cacaphonous, and emotionally shallow corporate music, it occurred to me: When all this first I was actually pretty afraid. I remember first commenting on this pattern of organized behavior I got so scared I had like a four day flashback, you know the terrors, worries that someone was going come kidnap me and bury me alive somewhere because the shit I talked was so unprecedentedly nasty there was no way it could be allowed to stand, etc.(Which honestly is a pretty scary thought, because just based on the responses I received here it is clear that no one is gonna come looking). But you know, this went on, and the ol shoe never dropped.

I could only speculate that I must have been the subject of some kind of Job-like wager, to see whether I could walk the razors edge between hysteria, due to the gaslighting, on the one hand, and some form of violence, due to the anger at the abusive treatment, on the other. And it went on, and on, and on.

Today I realized that due to recent developments, and in small part because of this post, the terms of the wager have changed (which is good, because turns out, I can do this shit indefinitely, but where's the fun in that?). I am no longer the subject of this wager. No, I am now a party to it.

So, what or who (you may ask), is now then the new subject? What is the nature of this new wager?

The subject, my friends, is you. My fellow citizens. The unwashed (stereotype) masses. The people of Bellingham. The human race.

And what is in question? I guess on my side would be what is known as traditional humanism. Although I am no paragon and did not choose this, this tradition would generally focus on the value of things like honesty, courage, dignity, perseverance, kindness, love etc. which in my opinion are inescapable, and due to my own experiences with hardship, indispensable, and woe be to him who has not felt that light touch some corner of his immortal soul.

The counterargument (I suppose) could (for my purposes) be described as anti-humanist, at least in the traditional sense. I believe that this position holds that the idealization of these traditional virtues breeds discontent and indeed mass violence and war, as humans are inherently somewhat petty, cruel, violent, etc, Overly harmonious, idealized group identities simply displace(?) sublimate (?) (my bad) these tendencies outward, in the form of group based hatred and violence.

Relevant questions: Realistically, are humans capable of self government? Are ideals good? Is the project of the enlightenment practical or desirable?

I would argue that life is basically not worth living in the anti-humanist society, as well as point out that in the more moderate "European" view, this is why we have things like rock climbing or whatever other stupid shit you guys do. Traditional forms of collective action are still necessary, and you can't solve many problems "herding cats."

To some extent this is a matter of taste, but I guess the real question is whether your corporate overlords can succeed in birthing the anti-humanist society and ,indeed, become bigger than Jesus.

You guys aren't helping my case much, but regardless this is the fundamental reality of what is happening right here, right now, plain as day.

I'll end with a plea for collegiately, as I have presented the arguments collegially, mainly out of fear for my personal safety, although we both know, if one thing is true about people from my tradition, it's that we fucking LOVE to party.

The ball is obviously not in my court, as I am alone here in a literal sea of sycophantic assholes, with nothing to defend myself but my rapacious wit, endearing humor, and roguish good looks.

It is ironic though. Me, an actual pariah, and the girl who has it all, arguing across each other. Like, I cannot fucking BELIEVE I am defending you people.

[samuraiko]

Thoughts on CANDELA OBSCURA from a longtime gamer and GM

Wow.

Just wow.

Full disclosure here: I’m a long, LONG, *LONG*-time gamer (I have been playing RPGs for almost 40 years now), and I will scrutinize the fuck out of any new system or setting that I think is interesting.

So when CO was announced, I was eager, I was interested, but I was very much withholding judgment because I wanted to see the system. I wanted to look at its rules, crunch numbers, get a sense of the setting, see how well it was written, and so on.

And I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been excited for games only to get my hands on the rulebook and see that it is riddled with contradictions, missing information, sloppy editing, etc.

THANK FUCK THAT CANDELA OBSCURA MAKES NONE OF THOSE MISTAKES.

(Seriously, I saw *ONE* spelling mistake in the book and it is LAMPSHADED by the margin notes.)

The Quickstart Guide is efficient without being too sparse, detailed without bogging you down, and gives you just enough information to get up and get going, while plainly indicating where greater breadth and depth will be available in the full ruleset.

Spenser Starke (one of the two creators) has openly acknowledging standing on the shoulders of others when creating the rules and mechanics for this game, so gamers familiar with other systems will see how those have influenced CO - for example, Blades in the Dark’s influence is definitely felt, as well as nods to the FATE system, and I also see hints of Modiphius’ 2d20 system in here (especially their Momentum mechanic).

Also, and I cannot sing their praises highly enough for this, CO absolutely calls out the inherent social issues with running a game in a setting like this, as well as warnings about steering away from certain all-too-baked-in stereotypes and cultural Zeitgeist impressions. To their credit, they provide alternate suggestions (far more useful than just “don’t do this”) and examples. Over and over and over throughout the QSG, the creators address these issues, and even in some instances call out the real world equivalents and how and why they are problematic. Bravo.

Is this game for everyone? Absolutely not - and the creators know it and openly state it.

But if this is your jam, or you’re even curious about dipping your toes into supernatural horror RPGs... this one has got your back.

EDIT: MORE IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS HERE.

[ihopeinevergetsoberr]

You say talk to me about Viktor and I am here to talk about Viktor. What films would this man watch? Would he have a favourite film? I'm such a film snob that I am so afraid to go there, but would he fucking cry on Star Wars? Is he truly a nerd as we paint them? Or he doesn't even bother with that and plays computer games instead? Or is he an utter man out of this era and just reads books? Does he love The Brief History of Time? Help. HELP WHAT ARE THEESE MAN'S HOBBIES he cannot just be into science, I do not accept this reality. My HC is that he loves Frank Herbert and hates the new adaptation of Dune :v He also probably likes Philip K. Dick. But that's BITCH BASIC I need MORE. And now a praise: your writing takes me to another dimension. It's amazing how I read your stuff and feel no negativity, no worry, just pure appreciation that I am able to interact with something so poetically hot. Loved Fornication, made me want to get drunk and low-key jealous of Reader's relationship with Viktor.

OKAY SO he’s either some niche videogames nerd or he’s that one annoying pretentious fuck who only ever plays chess (this has nothing to do with my fic /srs) it’s just a very tricky 50/50 cause he could easily be BOTH. he looks like could be… idk…. a fucking path of exile 2 nerd. or like he’s prejudiced towards people who game period point blank. bro’s steam account is either terrific or terrifically non-existent.

GOD it really is a tough one. i feel like act 1 viktor could be the pretentious fuck. HOWEVER. act 2 viktor is an exhausted guy who just wants to go home and play some sekiro. do you see the vision…..

as for the books he reads…. he doesn’t read fiction. same goes for movies. like if we’re talking about modern aus i feel like he’s just SO out of touch with what young people even like these days. give him a documentary and he’ll eat it up. i feel like he’d be one of them annoyed mfs who went to see oppenheimer and proceeded to complain about it being not 100% historicaly accurate. and if you make him watch breaking bad he’ll be annoyed it had dubious chemistry here and there.

— viktor, they can’t give us a step-by-step guide on how to cook crystal meth. that’s literally ILLEGAL

— i couldn’t care less. science is a commitment. a flimsy law-suit is a small price to pay for maintaining accuracy

but anyways i feel like he would also be into history. documentaries, memoirs of various historical figures, everything tediously lovely and cool and ACCURATE. i don’t know. i like pulling him out of arcane and placing him into some 80-90s dark academia au. you will never catch me writing him in an ACTUALLY modern setting because i like painting him as this sickeningly charming, detached from the pop-culture sassy man. i love pretentious guys okay. they’re so annoying i want to eat them

i also have this random hc that viktor used to be REALLY into medical shit once but he never wanted to become a doctor…. why? that i don’t know. he’s just. such an erudite when it comes to all kinds of complex stuff. when he read some victorian classics in highschool (dracula, for instance) he was absolutely furious and declared it a horror book not because of all the tame vampire stuff, but because the blood-transfusions were conducted at random (blood types were discovered only in 1901, and before that victorian doctors would just. choose the donor based on whoever looked the least pale that day. i’m genuinely surprised we’ve made it this long. read all this in viktor’s voice, by the way, i feel like he knows all these cools random facts and overshares them A LOT)

your frank herbert hc is totally valid though. I CAN SEE THAT. YES ABSOLUTELY???

like i said — MODERN modern aus are not my jam to write but i love reading that when it’s done tastefully. and you never disappoint <3

—

AND THANK YOU FOR PRAISING ME QUITE SO HIGHLY WTF IM LITERALLY CRYING I DONT DESERVE U

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[jedi-enthusiast]

I've seen a lot of posts on my feed lately that have, in some way shape or form, said "the story of the Jedi is tragic cause the Jedi caused their own genocide" followed by a list of just...stuff that's either untrue or the other option would've been worse in that game of roulette that Palpatine set up specifically to force the Jedi to make questionable decisions and wear them down with the weight of them. (Untagged posts btw, if you're gonna post shit along these lines please for the love of fuck tag it "Jedi critical," there are tags for a reason)

So I'm here to outline why that's complete and utter bullshit in one easy, simple to understand, post! No matter what the Jedi did, or what you think they did, they did not cause their own genocide. The fault of their genocide is solely on those who chose to commit said genocide of their people and culture.

Ignoring the fact that Palpatine's entire plan, the whole point of everything that we see in the Prequels, was to kill off all of the Jedi and erase their culture--so he was gonna figure out some way to do it, with or without Anakin/the clones/Dooku/etc.

You cannot make someone commit genocide against you.

That is the stupidest argument ever.

Committing genocide is a choice, one that you actively have to make over and over again--which we see Anakin do, even long after all (or all except a measly few survivors, most of which were literal children in the Prequel-era and couldn't have possibly done anything to piss Anakin off) of the Prequel-era Jedi--aka the ones that people say "brought this on themselves"--were dead!

The Jedi Order as a whole could've been the shittiest, most repressed group of arrogant assholes the galaxy had ever seen. They could've called Anakin a whiny bitch to his face and told him that Dooku should've gone for his head instead of his arm. They could've danced on his mother's grave and had tea parties with the Tuskens.

And guess what?

They still could not have made Anakin and Palpatine commit genocide against them. It was their choice, and their choice alone.

The only people that had no choice in committing that genocide were the clones and guess who took that choice away from them? Because it certainly wasn't the fucking Jedi!

Which is hilarious because most of these posts I've seen have said something along the lines of "the Jedi used the clones as slaves," ignoring the fact that--even if that were true (and it's not)--Anakin and Palpatine used them as slaves too!

And it was so much worse when they did it because, not only were they not given a choice, they were fucking mind-controlled in order to commit genocide against their will! So they didn't even get the choice to refuse and face the consequences of that--which is an option for them during the Clone Wars, albeit a shitty one.

So no, the Jedi did not bring anything upon themselves.

Start holding Anakin responsible for his own shitty decisions, and start tagging your damn anti-Jedi and Jedi critical posts properly!

[redwayfarers]

not to me, not if it's you

wayfarer. mc/melchior larkspur. set post game. gen, 1,7k words.

Settling down is not a new practice for Melchior. He did, long ago, many a time; he welcomed family and descendants that way too. It is not a bad thing, everything considered. He’d simply forgotten the little details of it. Thankfully for him, he now has someone to pass his knowledge to and thus revise. 

As to the receptiveness of his pupil, well, he cannot say there’s nothing to be desired. It’s hardly Cassander’s fault, though. Being born magiani in a world and a culture that despites your very existence does not yield itself to a lot of domestic bliss. 

“I halfway expect to die in a fight or something,” Cassander says, once. He doesn’t look all too pleased with the world that day. These moods strike him, like an oddly built mechanism, in a way Melchior has yet to decode. “This domestic shit feels unnatural.” 

“Unnatural?” Melchior raises his eyes from the manuscript he’s working on to pointedly stare at him. 

“Yeah! It’s like I’m waiting for a roof to fall over my head, or to trip on my own fucking sword and bleed out in the kitchen! Is this how you people with magic are all the time? Peaceful? Sounds like a fucking scam, that’s what it is. You’re scamming me right now.” 

Melchior knows better than to take the bait. Cassander is simply looking for a fight to calm his nerves. “You can always leave, if that’s what you’d prefer,” Melchior says calmly. 

Cassander huffs. “Work’s scarce. By the time I find any you’ll be who the fuck knows where and this thing between us? Scattered to the wind. Dead and buried. Only fond memories until we both live out our remaining centuries.” 

Melchior stares still. “And do you want that to happen?” 

Cassander holds his gaze for a long time. He taps his fingers on the table, trying so hard to sit still under the onslaught. At some point, however, he drops his hand fully on the table and presses until his nail beds turn pale. “No,” he says, and his voice breaks. “It’s just that– Fuck. Why am I like this?” 

Melchior sighs. Cassander isn’t looking at him, shoulders bent under the weight of his own head. Hair shadows his face against the bright daylight that reflects against the gold in his long ears. Parts of  the tattoos covering his arm hide with him, yet the brightness of the roses on his forearm catches attention. 

Almost enough to make Melchior miss how his shoulders shake. 

Chair creaks as he rises, settling the papers that rustle when his hip catches on them. His slippers make no sound when he rounds the table and comes to stand by Cassander’s side. With a gentle hand, Melchior removes hair from Cassander’s shoulders; the curls, heavy and coarse, seem as ill equipped for such soft touch as Cassander himself. 

Cassander breathes a little cry-laugh. “I’m trying to be miserable here,” he says. “Stop trying to make me laugh.”

“That was not my intent,” Melchior responds. “I was trying to offer solace.” 

Cassander lifts his head and looks Mel in the eye, bewildered. “I know,” he whispers. “I don’t think solace will fix my head, but– Look, I don’t mean half the things I say, okay? Especially not– not this. You con people, sure, but you’re not playing with my heart, and here I am, accusing you of doing your job. No, that sounded wrong. Go scam rich people, I don’t care. Do your job elsewhere. I am not your job. I’m just an impossible to deal with fuckbuddy you keep around for whatever fucking reason and I’m making this even harder for you.” He blinks. “Not like that. Not all the time, anyways. I’m sure you’re not hard for me right now. That’d be weird. You’re angry, right? You’re probably so angry deep down but you’ve seen a lot of nutcases like me–” 

“Cassander,” Melchior says in a low voice. Cassander nods and looks away. “Go weave, or sew. We will talk later, after you’re not one hair’s breadth away from jumping out of your skin.” 

“That’s an order, boss?” Cassander says, in a strange voice. 

“Alternatively, you can kick something,” Melchior adds. He isn’t angry, not really, but he is starting to feel like conversations need to happen later. If today needs a boss, he will step up to the task. “No fights with the crew. We cannot talk when you’re like this.” 

“Got it,” Cassander says, frustrated. He stands up and marches to the door, playing with the tail ends of his hair. He closes them louder than intended; Melchior watches for a few more moments before he sits down again and rubs his face with his hands. 

It is true he is not angry, but he would be lying if he said these moods of Cassander’s didn’t make him exhausted. It is hardly Cassander’s fault, of course; no sane person would choose this kind of suffering. He doesn’t take any of the accusations personally, either. Were he younger, were his life less full of a senseless number of years, perhaps. Now, all he does is sigh deeply and rub his temples. 

He loves Cassander. When he chose to invite him into his life as a partner, he knew it would be through joy and difficult times alike. That same love makes it difficult to watch him struggle, but he knows far too well that Cassander needs to make the call himself. There are people who can help; he just needs to reach out. All Melchior can do is wait and pray. 

The manuscripts glare at him in an accusatory manner. He feels restless. He’s suddenly all too aware of the half-empty cup of tea Cassander had made him, and he downs it with a grunt. 

Someone knocks. 

“Melchior?” Kit’s head peeks through the barely open door. “We need you at the rehearsal. We can’t seem to decode one of the scenes.” 

Good, Melchior thinks. There’s work to be done before he can talk to Cassander properly. That’s good for taking his mind off things a little. 

***

Evening falls on their little troupe. Running a company of actors requires a lot of time and a lot of work, a work Melchior deeply enjoys, and time spent with his people, his friends, never a time wasted. 

However, his thoughts turn, ever so slightly, to Cassander throughout the day. Melchior hasn’t seen him at all since breakfast, and the troupe hasn’t either. He trusts Cassander can take care of himself; he’s a Wayfarer after all. His heart aches a little every time he remembers what had happened, but he brushes it off. 

It is, after all, temporary. 

Cassander finds him when Melchior retreats for a pause. His clothes are fresh, his hair braided away from his face, long and sad. There’s a bruise on his right hand. 

“No civilians were harmed in the making of it,” Cassander says by way of explanation. “I was trying to stick it to the wall. Sero taught me just how hard I can hit it before I break my hand.” 

Melchior blinks. “What?” 

“You never had wall hitting lessons?” Cassander tilts his head. “You never had a don’t rage at other people talk? It was either the wall or some unfortunate fucker. Lots of dwarves today for some reason.” He stops. “I don’t like kicking people while they’re down.” 

“Are you less angry now?” Melchior redirects the conversation and rubs his neck. “Will you bite my head off?” 

“Depends if you’re a dwarf,” Cassander says, in a joking voice. “For real, though, I’m not as on edge as I was today. I don’t know what triggered it, but I did feel like my skin was too tight and I figured talking to people further while I’m like this will just make me feel worse.” He sits on the bed and taps the place beside him. “Uh, I’m sorry about that. How you have the patience for me is beyond my wildest dreams. I would’ve kicked my ass out of here long ago.”

“Fortunately, no such luck,” Melchior responds. He looks at Cassander’s awfully bruised hand. “Where’s your medical kit?” 

“I can do it myself,” Cassander mutters and pouts. It’s unintentional, but delightfully adorable nonetheless. “It doesn’t hurt, it’s not as bad as it looks–” 

“I need your medical kit,” Melchior orders gently. 

“In the first drawer by the bed,” Cassander gives in, putting his hand gingerly on his lap. Melchior takes the kit out and sits beside him. 

“You sweet, poor man,” Melchior whispers and takes Cassander’s hand. He hisses a little when Melchior kisses the bruised knuckles. 

“What are you doing?” His voice goes a pitch higher, embarrassed. 

“Kissing it better,” Melchior simply says and opens a jar of herbal-smelling salve. Cassander doesn’t move his hand away, though he does hold it a little stiffly, when he starts rubbing it into tender flesh. 

“I’m not a kid,” Cassander says - whines - as he stares pointedly at his injured hand. “I can take care of it myself. Sirin taught me well enough–” 

“That I do not doubt, but let me take care of you. You’re not helping anyone by punishing yourself.” 

Cassander looks away. “Go fuck yourself,” he says, with no real heat. He huffs. “I– Fuck off. Just. You don’t– For fuck’s sake.” He sighs deeply and with feeling. 

“What happens when you love someone,” Melchior continues, gently spreading the salve, “is that you will have patience for them and not abandon them when it gets difficult. What happens is you take care of them, even on their bad days, even if they inconvenience you. Because this is a partnership, no?” 

Cassander is quiet. 

“This is a partnership, Cassander, not servitude,” Melchior repeats, massaging his fingers. “I welcome inconvenience from you because it means you are my equal, just as you welcome inconvenience from me.” 

“And the sex thing?” Cassander sounds strained. He flexes his hand.

“That is sex,” Melchior replies. “Relationships are more than just sex. If I ever make you feel like you are not cherished, I trust you’ll tell me.” 

Cassander lets out a chopped breath. He pulls Melchior closer and buries his face in the side of his neck; his eyelashes, wet with tears, tickle Melchior’s skin. 

Melchior puts the salve down and wraps his arms around him, lets his hands rub Cassander’s back and buries one of them gently, yet firmly in his hair. 

One mistake does not make the lesson less worthwhile. 

[yellbug]

hey i keep seeing a really disdainful post on my dash about how the op is sick of women talking about how they have body dysmorphia. it's really weird and cruel and I don't want to reblog it, but I also don't want to see any more posts like that and I want to talk about why. In short, believing in vanity and that I was doing the sin of vanity by obsessive-compulsively agonizing about my appearance did not help with my body dysmorphia, and I don't think it would be effective for a single human being alive.

believe me I know people look down on me for having this problem because it's "not real" and I could "just get over it".

to give an idea of it, when it was bad it felt and looked to me as if my face was melting or being pulled in different directions by hooks. you can talk a big game about how when you talk about this you're not talking about "legitimate" cases if you want to, and you might even believe it yourself, but I think that's a bunch of fucking horseshit. I think people who are in agony over their appearance and who see themselves as monstrous when to others they appear normal have body dysmorphia.

I totally get how people agonizing over this towards you could make your own issues worse. it is worth complaining about a culture that makes a pastime of self-loathing for women. It is also definitely complicated and inconvenient to be around a delusional person. However, I would suggest that if your problem is that people are coming to you with stuff like this, that you set boundaries about it. I certainly had to. there are people who I have told I will no longer talk about their body issues because I cannot do it.

The MAIN thing that helped me was escaping from the environment that caused these distortions and being around people who see me in a genuine way. But when I did used to encounter disdain about having this problem the most often, it sounded just like this and made everything worse. because this is really misogynist. The evil self-destructive vanity of women is a very very old idea and it is oppressive. it doesnt help body dysmorphia at all to talk about people like me with so much contempt, or to call us stupid as op does later in the post.

It also helped me a lot to approach my appearance in a curious, interested way and try to let go of the weird awful misogynist hatred that permeates that post. I think it can be really scary to try and be kind about this towards yourself and stop punishing yourself for vanity.

I don't know if I would have ever been able to get better if I had not been able to get away from the environments that were causing this in me. And if i had been less fortunate, I wouldn't have. Anyway I don't want to see any more posts like this and I'm shocked it crossed my dash in the first place.

[queen-schadenfreude]

now that I've finished datv.. i have some first pass thoughts

spolers below

first of all why is this game trying so hard to rehabilitate in-universe controversial aspects? I mean like. Slavery in Tevinter. It's swept under the rug with a few lukewarm platitudes and codices about how it's being addressed off-screen. Previous games have established how horrific it is, but the tevinter we see in veilguard doesn't reflect that at all. it feels dismissive of a lot of major setting and character development. Same with the antivan crows! they were described as a brutal, cruel organization but now they're the underdog protectors? Sure, there was family drama and a few mentions of how cut-throat things HAD been before, but we don't get to *see* any of that. illario was weak as an example of this bc he was the only thing to be shown as bad. There's no tangible impact.

it seems like a feeble attempt to make sure the players understand that the writers do not condone the unsavory aspects of the setting and characters, while making everything a Teachable Moment. honestly half of the game felt like a psa on extremely basic ethics, like surface-level shit children already know.

on top of that, idk why the game is trying so hard to therapize the player via companions' emotional journeys. The extremely basic and direct "your feelings matter and it's okay to feel your feelings! " scenarios were so repetitive and cringe. Sesame street level bullshit. am i crazy for expecting a more mature and nuanced approach to emotional struggle??? I swear previous games were better at this

also fuck all of southern thedas, it's cooked. hope yall didn't care!

Anyway.

ive only played through Neve's romance and i chose her bc she talks and acts like an adult and not a flustered teenager like harding, or a quirky mpdg like bellara. I liked it, it was fine. no strong feelings about it tho.

I didnt consider Taash as a romance option bc they act like a petulant child most of the time and that's just not fun for me.. and I don't love that Taash seems more like a prop for Gender Ideology 101 rather than being a fully complex character who is working through a gender identity crisis. I am not trans and cannot fully speak to this but as someone who knows more than the absolute basics of gender ideology, their story felt patronizing.

the boys are... fine, I guess. I wrecked treviso so I think i got locked out of some Lucanis stuff but his possession just isn't as compelling as previous characters who have been possessed. Davrin is fine, inoffensive. Emmerich is funny I do like him, Manfred is delightful.

I played as an elf bc I hoped it'd be extra relevant to the story, what with the Big Bad(s) being evanuris. it didn't matter at all. the crossroads doesn't even look different for an elf character like it did in Trespasser.

I expected everything to drive torward making Solas out to being a Good Guy Actually, and it kind of did. but super aggravating for have phantom varric to say that after being actually murdered by him like damn!! you are just gonna let that guy walk all over you bc yall were friends for a short while a decade ago. Where was that sympathy for Anders??

varric being a figment of rook's imagination the whole time was a fun reveal, tho.

siiigghhh. but listen. there were things I liked about the game, too. the gameplay is fun. the environments are GORGEOUS. the characters look good, i think the art style is fine actually. the character creator is great (except those qunari fiveheads RIP)

a lot of the banter and jokes did genuinely make me laugh, and i did like exploring maps and interacting with the new companions generally.

I havent given a lot of thought to it but I think a lot of the plot-related issues i have could've been solved by just setting the game like, 100 years in the future. All of the questionable and unsavory aspects of the cultures the game tries SO hard to diminish and write off would've had time to be organically rectified in-universe. I guess.

well. whatever.

[springtrappd]

Thoughts on the popular ‘vanny and ggy are viruses possessing Vanessa and Gregory’ theory?

but for real: it's not something that i necessarily i think won't happen, but one i hope doesn't happen. it perpetuates the exact kind of pop culture bullshit around identity (as a concept) that drives me up the wall & encourages some of the absolute worst, most boring takes on the characters and their situation possible. it has the exact same problem that i have with the vanny virus narrative as a whole, which is that it denies the characters agency & provides an easy fix for conflict. it wasn't them, the virus did it! they aren't complicated people, the virus did it! there's no need to be afraid because the virus did it! there are times when stories are like that are appropriate but this ain't exactly one of them.

(and note that even in the core 6 games, the animatronics -- despite being possessed by children -- are not portrayed as Secretly Good in that if you flip a magic switch they'll be safe to be around; they're children, yeah, but they're not kind children. you get their happy ending by treating them as such, but choosing to do so is a risk... and their happy ending isn't them being 'fixed' -- because what happened to them cannot be undone; rather, it's them having the chance to be happy. what purpose does having the glamrocks be infected with evilitis every time we see them serve, narratively? what would 'curing' them accomplish, if they're still trapped within the same dehumanising system?)

like. which is more abjectly horrifying: an inescapable spectre of the past recreating your childhood trauma by positioning itself as your abuser and manipulating you into committing horrible acts, the kind that leave you questioning who you are and the lengths you are willing to go to survive -- and if your survival is even worth anything at all, if it means inflicting similar suffering on others... or the Evil You being Evil. i know which one i'm interested in!

and like. it's not like the series has never grappled with anything similarly mature in the past; for all i hate tfc, the one thing about it that isn't incoherent is what it has to say about circus baby and charlie. you cannot hide behind "well it's for kids" or "well you can't expect that kind of thing from the series" when the shit explicitly meant for people who can't handle horror games Went There so hard it gave up on having a coherent plot for the sake of it.

really the only way i would accept something like that is if vanny was some kind of traumademon manifesting from, well, the trauma inflicted by the events of that story up until that point. the problem with that is that unless it all resolves with vanessa accepting her/purifying her/etc, externalising her like that just serves as another excuse to toss vanessa's relevancy out the window... and, yknow, the structure they've set up for themselves doesn't really allow for stories like that. you can't exactly do something deeply personal when you're dedicated to making everything as vague as possible -- for fear of ever actually saying something.

and ggy is dumb and stupid and i hate it because all it does is yoink vanessa's entire shtick without the pathos (vanessa is recreating the horrors of her own past by recreating the horrors of fazbears! what is gregory doing? being sad??) for absolutely zero reason. "gregory is possessed by Evil™️" is a lot less fun (and a lot less interesting in terms of his relationship to vanessa) than "gregory is a kid in a bad situation willing to make whatever choices he has to to survive". like. i usually see ggy brought up as a rebuttal to arguments abt him being fucked up for doing All That Shit to the glamrocks, but...... he isn't possessed? in sb?? that is the point??? if it's meant to be someone else why would his behaviour be the exact same???? if the virus is meant to make him act like the opposite of himself why is his opposite of "yes murder!" attempted murder????? what SIGNS even ARE THERE for ANY OF THIS I HATE ALL OF YOUUUUUUU

[t00thpasteface]

Hiiiii₍⁠₍⁠◞⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠௰⁠•⁠ ⁠)⁠◟⁠₎⁠₎

Could you explain the hipster Vs fandom war. I've been on here for like four years and I never knew that existed lol and btw I really really love your art and you are one my biggest inspos for how I imagine and draw my Clark.

i'm not sure i can explain it in a way that makes sense, and certainly not in a way that makes you say "i understand why this was such a big deal", but gl'bgolyb knows i can try.

first, let me take you on a sensory experience... picture in your mind the following things... skinny jeans... nerd glasses... a weirdly dapper fashion sense in a time where everything is baggy and neon... boom, you have 2010-2014 online tumblr hipster culture. and also 70s elvis costello, oddly enough.

although admittedly i don't know his stance on pumpkin spice lattes.

anyway. now that that's burned into your brain, consider a significant population of this exact type of person that has already been well-established on this microblogging platform around the turn of the decade. tumblr doesn't really have an app yet because smartphones haven't taken over everyone's life yet, and online fandom culture is still largely dominated by deviantart as the main "fandom hub". most people, myself included, are getting their main meme fixes from facebook (which your parents were not yet on) or the icanhazcheezburger image-aggregator network. THEN EVERYTHING CHANGED WHEN THE FANDOM NATION ATTACKED.

somehow, a huge crowd of people who considered their favorite books/movies/games to be core personality traits began to set up shop on this fair slate-blue isle. i number myself among this crowd, having been lured here by google-image-searching for miscellaneous fanart in 2011. the "old guard" largely belongs to, and continuously attracts new bloggers within, a burgeoning subculture that 100% defines itself by bucking popular trends and social expectations... whether or not this is actually accomplished by purchasing beverages from starbucks and putting old film filters on every photo, i cannot say.

you may be seeing an issue already arising: hey, if the hipsters hate everything that's popular and gatekeep all their interests, and the fandom bloggers are obsessed with extremely popular franchises and are hell-bent making them even more popular, isn't that going to cause a little friction?

well, yes. it caused a fuck ton of friction. a division arose early on between "the fandom side of tumblr" and "the hipster side of tumblr." some people, like myself, played both sides. others abstained from the rigid dichotomy and considered themselves to be on another "side," like the science side of tumblr, known for explaining relatively straightforward STEM concepts in large essays that began with something like "listen up fuckers."

ahhh, unfriendable. such a narrow little window in time where cheezburger sites and facebook had equal sway in the online zeitgeist.

interestingly, as someone who trawled a LOT of aesthetic tags, the most popular of which was simply #aesthetic (it was shockingly consistent in there), i never actually saw hipster bloggers complaining about fandom bloggers. it was always the other way around, with fandom bloggers bragging about how much they're freaking out the squares to get cool points with other fandom bloggers, all while never actually engaging with the hipster bloggers because their tags rarely overlapped.

hi, marge! we're freaking out the hipsters!

regardless of whether there was any material reality to it, or if it was simply a Minitrue level of entirely fictional warfare, this concept entrenched itself into the fandom bloggers, likely as a way to still feel "edgy" and unique while, again, obsessing over extremely popular and mainstream things like doctor who, pokemon, avatar the last airbender, the brand-new mcu, and other decidedly non-counterculture media. even with things it felt like no one irl had heard of, like hetalia and homestuck, those were online juggernauts nonetheless, the former of which had dominated deviantart for years and the latter of which prompted hotels and convention centers across the world to implement very strict rules about unsealed body paint. people treated fandoms like they were some sort of exclusive country club with membership fees and a dress code. and dunking on hipsters became an entire genre of Fake Internet Story, which were already pervasive on this website.

what's the point of being in a clique if there's no outgroup to flex on? #swag

this whole phenomenon ran concurrently, even symbiotically, with other tumblrisms like "tumblr university" and those horrendous "not like other girls" memes...

which means, of course, it was absolutely dead in the fucking water once DashCon happened in 2014. i don't need to tell you what happened at DashCon (there's a million essays and videos about it if you're one of today's lucky ten thousand who's never heard of it), but all across the fandom side of tumblr, it felt like finding out your parents lied about santa claus. turns out the fandoms you're in don't actually say anything about who you are as a person, a bunch of tumblrinas can't just will a fully functional micronation into existence just by wearing tacky merchandise in a public venue, and magic probably isn't real.

i wish i had some grand way to end this story, but really the moral is the same as it ever was: online drama is eternal, inescapable, and completely fucking worthless. if you only post to get mad at shit, especially if you're just making up a guy to get mad at, cut that out. touch grass. look at images of cats. i don't remember any of the enemies i made from this era, but i fondly remember all the friends, and i'm richer for making those positive connections. that's all for today's episode of Tumblr History with Toothpaste Face... remember to tip your waitress and stay minty.

[northwest-cryptid]

Idk if I fully understand ffxiv being native-phobic? I just played through stormblood & what I got from that was colonialism bad, to put it in super simple terms. Like idk the entire point of it was liberate an oppressed peoples and give them back their homes? And maybe I missed it but I didn't see the Ala mhigans as being native coded or inspired?

You didn't see the Ala Mhigans being "Native Coded" because they aren't and yet Ala Mhigan clothes use Native patterns. You didn't see FFXIV being "Native-Phobic" because it's generally not, it likes to hide it's racism away in little pockets.

It's hard to see it when you're not used to seeing it. This isn't your fault, it's that you're looking in the wrong places.

This is the "Ala Mhigan Gown" it's being largely attributed to being "Ala Mhigan" it is not. It is Native.

These patterns are Native, and while I cannot claim exactly and exclusively which tribes use them I can say for certain that I'm Deer Clan Lakota and these patterns are ALL OVER my traditional Native clothing. To attribute our clothing to Ala Mhigo is wrong.

This pattern is being reproduced and sold as Ala Mhigan, as "Kimonos" and lastly, as cosplay.

And these patterns can be found across plenty of First Nation/Indigenous clothing and beadwork.

Like, here if you're curious:

Let's also quickly talk about the New World set,

This is just ugh. Believe it or not I like the pants, and the actual torso and shoes aren't bad either. IF (and this isn't the case) this set were to exclude the headdress and were to actually pay proper respect to Native design and culture I'd love it. I actually used to use this set in game minus the headdress obviously, but wouldn't you know it I'm literally Native. This feels like those party city costumes people make, and the parts it gets right are almost more upsetting because it's not being properly attributed to the right people despite knowing very well the devs clearly referenced actual Natives. Those straps on the pants for example are a very real thing, the clothing my father passed down to me has those, tipped with metal because it makes enough noise to scare off rattlesnakes since those were a threat for kids on the res. The colors and bead patterns also do follow a lot of various Native designs, though I find it harder to pin down these exact patterns.

You're looking at the plot, but that's not entirely where the problem lies; also sorry sorry but I can't overlook this. None of the story or plot justifies Zenos calling me a Savage. I do not care if he's the antagonist, that's a fucking slur. It's been used against me and my people for decades. It's been used against me when I was in middle and high school. So yes, even in recent times this is acknowledged as a slur by racist individuals seeking to cause us harm.

If you've never gotten into a physical fight that you didn't instigate only to have someone ask you "what are you gonna do savage? You gonna scalp me?" And then do the worst imitation of a Native war cry; you likely have no idea how annoying it is to see/hear even a villain in a video game call you a fucking savage, have this be hand-waved as kinda being whatever by the general public who don't deal with this kind of racism, and then furthermore when you go into FFXIV community spaces you see this blonde ass white boy being plastered up everywhere like "oh I wanna fuck him so bad" why do you want to fuck a racist?! He's not even hot. Any potential sex appeal he had left his body the second he uttered the word "savage" and you know the worst part? He's not real. Which means he didn't say that shit, someone at Square WROTE that into the game and really thought "hey is it okay to use a slur like this? Yeah it'll be fine no one is gonna know or care."

Can you IMAGINE if they had a villain drop the N word mid fight? You'd never hear the end of it I assure you.

I think the biggest issue is that people don't even know what Native is, they don't know tribes, they don't know patterns, they don't know our actual history.

You say you don't know how it's "Native-phobic" when it's racism and mockery of Natives is very apparent to Natives, but I can't fault you for it because you literally don't know what to look for.

I want to make it super clear I'm not mad at you, I'm upset that this game can get away with this shit because no one is actually educated on Native matters, culture, etc.

I hope this helps clear that up a little.

[bnunnykawaii]

Hello. I recently visited your presumably fine city, and I have to say, I did not enjoy myself.

I am reminded of a quote from AA (non active): "Principles before personalities."

Seems everywhere I went I was harassed, discriminated against, belittled, kicked out, yes sexually harassed, etc, apparently based on the characteristics of my physical appearance, as I gave no indication of political creed, religious affiliation, life philosophy, personal history, or otherwise. Like come on guys, my fashion sense is not THAT bad.

For example, a barista I interacted with saw fit to yell "no" in my face as I was attempting to order. Like fine, if you feel the need to publicly and preemptively cock block me by loudly stating your negative sexual preference towards my person, and thereby impress friends and bystanders, while letting that fella or lady you truly are smitten with know just how loyal a girl you really can be... I can't stop you. I'm sure they're great. I'm just trying to get some coffee.

Ok ok ok, so now, you (the reader) share a knowing look with the apparently psychic iindividual who tells you what to think and how to act (they obviously know about these things), who then makes a simple gesture accusing me of pedophilia and boom. Game, set, and match. It's over. Why even continue reading?

Not that either you believe what you are saying, but who gives a fuck at this point right? It's just that the look on both your faces reminds me of a smug version of the look my dog gets when he is licking his own butt.

Funny story-up until recently, I worked with an actual convicted child rapist. The genuine article. And let me tell you, he was having a fucking field day with this shit. It's ok, get it all out buddy. That's fine right? He's a part of the movement, and everyone gets something. Well, almost everyone lol;) ;)

Yes sir, it's a real pander fest out there. At an intersection, there is an environmentalist guy and a guy with the unnecessarily large and noisy truck. Given our recent political decision making process, you would think they would be staring daggers, yelling, celebratory coal rolling, etc. No absolutely not. Dudes are falling all over themselves in a mad scramble of trans political endearment. It's so simple!! All we have to do is find the one guy in society who isn't a completely gullible dumbfuck and shit all over him and poof. All problems resolved. Transgressions forgiven. A new age.

I mean, it is somewhat interesting how each of you has an individually unique rationalization for the exact same , identical patterns of hateful and abusive behavior. The tree hugger and the coal roller. Beautiful snowflakes all.

Just kidding, it's actually really easy to just place you in a cliched typology and reverse engineer your justification for participating in fascism lite (tm) based on a presumable self conception. I don't really give a fuck what lies you tell yourself in the mirror. But as your Bob Dylan said, it ain't me babe.

Point being, having superceded the political, as well as all conventional rules of civilized conduct, and or general local culture in your fair city, The Movement (tm) (ha) or whatever the fuck you call it, is the dominant social reality and governing social principle.

AND YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT

Which is fine. You do you. But please cease to labor under the illusion that you still have any translatable values, of any kind, whatsoever. It's not that open harassment or discrimination or whatever, particularly when perpetrated by a group of people in a position of social power, is wrong, per se, right? I mean, it would be interesting to hear any of you attempt to justify yourselves, but unfortunately YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT. It is forbidden. I get it. Its like fight club. That's fair. White guys have made some pretty decent movies.

Let's say you dropped $100k on a liberal arts degree. Here's a chance to exercise some critical thinking in the face of a mass social movement founded on cruelty and open hatred, which is kind of the basic purpose of such a degree. Nope. Let's say it was history. What does this say about your chosen field of study? Hide all evidence right? Or sociology. Beyond your purview. Philosophy. When in Rome? Congratulations.

A lot I could say, but, regarding the preposterous idea that this is jall ust a some organic, spontaneously occurring culture phenomenon (rationalization received from a Christian): 1. Easily forensically disprovable, I'm not even particularly well studied and I know exactly who your master is, where they work, and why, and 2. Shockingly naive, given the power dynamics of the situation, sorry no way are your overlords leaving that kind of money on the table.

I don't really feel like elaborating further other than to say that because you are unable to speak or "go back and forth with me", whatever it is that you are participating in is, on its face, complete bullshit, as you, by both structural and philosophical necessity, lack individual moral and intellectual agency, which is, in fact, and in spite of what you may believe (ask your benevolent dictator), the root of all collective historical human failure. As well as the principle rationale for a liberal arts education. But fuck it right?

So, you spent 100k on education, only to turn around and will yourself into intellectual and moral slavery, and become the object of some corporate marketing psychologist's vanity project? May I wipe my ass with that diploma?

In closing, I don't want to go over the top here and start some kind of song of myself, oh no, but having been treated like human garbage, I feel compelled to state:

In terms of adverse personal experience, I soloed goddamn Annapurna in the snow season, lived to tell the tale, and this is the shit I come back to. You are all useful idiots and your behavior is an insult to the human condition.

Why me? Honestly, because out of everyone in at least the entire western United States apparently, you could literally put a gun to my head and I would not get on whatever bullshit from the literal church of corporate Satan you all are being spoon fed. Which I guess is some sort of crime.

On behalf of myself, humanity, Jesus, the Buddha, the better angels of our nature, all the great ones who came before, rock-'n'-roll, etc, Bellingham, YOUR SCENE SUCKS.

I will enjoy the cold comfort of inner freedom and a righteous cause while watching you abandon any semblance of a coherent value system and continue to lick fascist corporate ass for a bump of cocaine (which I don't think is very punk rock:( )

In solidarity, an actual, working, breathing, locally available, and highly DMable, high 7-ish, cultural dissident.

And, let the bad faith Cassandra treatment begin.

(Unless you are feeling spry big fella. Wanna earn some points???)

UPDATE: You guys, you guys wait!!! I thought of a really good one. The hand gesture thing-that is soooo Hitler

Update to Update: WOW so many responses. I am not able to give each one the time and attention it deserves, so here I will make a brief general reply before sharing something (indeed) very special with everyone.

Briefly perusing these responses, they seemed mostly attempts and bad faith gaslighting (as predicted) along with a sprinkling of salty literary criticism. I, at least, personally, found the gaslighting amusing, because I said you would do it, and you still did it anyway. Lol.

But really, everyone here, myself included, knows that besides "though shalt not speak," like the second rule in the playbook (which apparently descended from Shiva on a ray of light or some shit) is "Just keep doing it," so really this discussion is basically pointless, other than to point out that based on your actions, you are now complicit in an ongoing attempt to manufacture a historical falsehood about our society as it exists today, which, to me, is somewhat mind-blowing and honestly something of a privilege to witness firsthand. Now on to the important stuff.

Driving home today, listening to some predictably tinny, cacaphonous, and emotionally shallow corporate music, it occurred to me: When all this first I was actually pretty afraid. I remember first commenting on this pattern of organized behavior I got so scared I had like a four day flashback, you know the terrors, worries that someone was going come kidnap me and bury me alive somewhere because the shit I talked was so unprecedentedly nasty there was no way it could be allowed to stand, etc.(Which honestly is a pretty scary thought, because just based on the responses I received here it is clear that no one is gonna come looking). But you know, this went on, and the ol shoe never dropped.

I could only speculate that I must have been the subject of some kind of Job-like wager, to see whether I could walk the razors edge between hysteria, due to the gaslighting, on the one hand, and some form of violence, due to the anger at the abusive treatment, on the other. And it went on, and on, and on.

Today I realized that due to recent developments, and in small part because of this post, the terms of the wager have changed (which is good, because turns out, I can do this shit indefinitely, but where's the fun in that?). I am no longer the subject of this wager. No, I am now a party to it.

So, what or who (you may ask), is now then the new subject? What is the nature of this new wager?

The subject, my friends, is you. My fellow citizens. The unwashed (stereotype) masses. The people of Bellingham. The human race.

And what is in question? I guess on my side would be what is known as traditional humanism. Although I am no paragon and did not choose this, this tradition would generally focus on the value of things like honesty, courage, dignity, perseverance, kindness, love etc. which in my opinion are inescapable, and due to my own experiences with hardship, indispensable, and woe be to him who has not felt that light touch some corner of his immortal soul.

The counterargument (I suppose) could (for my purposes) be described as anti-humanist, at least in the traditional sense. I believe that this position holds that the idealization of these traditional virtues breeds discontent and indeed mass violence and war, as humans are inherently somewhat petty, cruel, violent, etc, Overly harmonious, idealized group identities simply displace(?) sublimate (?) (my bad) these tendencies outward, in the form of group based hatred and violence.

Relevant questions: Realistically, are humans capable of self government? Are ideals good? Is the project of the enlightenment practical or desirable?

I would argue that life is basically not worth living in the anti-humanist society, as well as point out that in the more moderate "European" view, this is why we have things like rock climbing or whatever other stupid shit you guys do. Traditional forms of collective action are still necessary, and you can't solve many problems "herding cats."

To some extent this is a matter of taste, but I guess the real question is whether your corporate overlords can succeed in birthing the anti-humanist society and ,indeed, become bigger than Jesus.

You guys aren't helping my case much, but regardless this is the fundamental reality of what is happening right here, right now, plain as day.

I'll end with a plea for collegiately, as I have presented the arguments collegially, mainly out of fear for my personal safety, although we both know, if one thing is true about people from my tradition, it's that we fucking LOVE to party.

The ball is obviously not in my court, as I am alone here in a literal sea of sycophantic assholes, with nothing to defend myself but my rapacious wit, endearing humor, and roguish good looks.

It is ironic though. Me, an actual pariah, and the girl who has it all, arguing across each other. Like, I cannot fucking BELIEVE I am defending you people.

this... was marvelouslly written but wtf did i just read and why was it sent to my inbox???

[a-silly-poll-side-blog-yay]

Hello. I recently visited your presumably fine city, and I have to say, I did not enjoy myself.

I am reminded of a quote from AA (non active): "Principles before personalities."

Seems everywhere I went I was harassed, discriminated against, belittled, kicked out, yes sexually harassed, etc, apparently based on the characteristics of my physical appearance, as I gave no indication of political creed, religious affiliation, life philosophy, personal history, or otherwise. Like come on guys, my fashion sense is not THAT bad.

For example, a barista I interacted with saw fit to yell "no" in my face as I was attempting to order. Like fine, if you feel the need to publicly and preemptively cock block me by loudly stating your negative sexual preference towards my person, and thereby impress friends and bystanders, while letting that fella or lady you truly are smitten with know just how loyal a girl you really can be... I can't stop you. I'm sure they're great. I'm just trying to get some coffee.

Ok ok ok, so now, you (the reader) share a knowing look with the apparently psychic iindividual who tells you what to think and how to act (they obviously know about these things), who then makes a simple gesture accusing me of pedophilia and boom. Game, set, and match. It's over. Why even continue reading?

Not that either you believe what you are saying, but who gives a fuck at this point right? It's just that the look on both your faces reminds me of a smug version of the look my dog gets when he is licking his own butt.

Funny story-up until recently, I worked with an actual convicted child rapist. The genuine article. And let me tell you, he was having a fucking field day with this shit. It's ok, get it all out buddy. That's fine right? He's a part of the movement, and everyone gets something. Well, almost everyone lol;) ;)

Yes sir, it's a real pander fest out there. At an intersection, there is an environmentalist guy and a guy with the unnecessarily large and noisy truck. Given our recent political decision making process, you would think they would be staring daggers, yelling, celebratory coal rolling, etc. No absolutely not. Dudes are falling all over themselves in a mad scramble of trans political endearment. It's so simple!! All we have to do is find the one guy in society who isn't a completely gullible dumbfuck and shit all over him and poof. All problems resolved. Transgressions forgiven. A new age.

I mean, it is somewhat interesting how each of you has an individually unique rationalization for the exact same , identical patterns of hateful and abusive behavior. The tree hugger and the coal roller. Beautiful snowflakes all.

Just kidding, it's actually really easy to just place you in a cliched typology and reverse engineer your justification for participating in fascism lite (tm) based on a presumable self conception. I don't really give a fuck what lies you tell yourself in the mirror. But as your Bob Dylan said, it ain't me babe.

Point being, having superceded the political, as well as all conventional rules of civilized conduct, and or general local culture in your fair city, The Movement (tm) (ha) or whatever the fuck you call it, is the dominant social reality and governing social principle.

AND YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT

Which is fine. You do you. But please cease to labor under the illusion that you still have any translatable values, of any kind, whatsoever. It's not that open harassment or discrimination or whatever, particularly when perpetrated by a group of people in a position of social power, is wrong, per se, right? I mean, it would be interesting to hear any of you attempt to justify yourselves, but unfortunately YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT. It is forbidden. I get it. Its like fight club. That's fair. White guys have made some pretty decent movies.

Let's say you dropped $100k on a liberal arts degree. Here's a chance to exercise some critical thinking in the face of a mass social movement founded on cruelty and open hatred, which is kind of the basic purpose of such a degree. Nope. Let's say it was history. What does this say about your chosen field of study? Hide all evidence right? Or sociology. Beyond your purview. Philosophy. When in Rome? Congratulations.

A lot I could say, but, regarding the preposterous idea that this is jall ust a some organic, spontaneously occurring culture phenomenon (rationalization received from a Christian): 1. Easily forensically disprovable, I'm not even particularly well studied and I know exactly who your master is, where they work, and why, and 2. Shockingly naive, given the power dynamics of the situation, sorry no way are your overlords leaving that kind of money on the table.

I don't really feel like elaborating further other than to say that because you are unable to speak or "go back and forth with me", whatever it is that you are participating in is, on its face, complete bullshit, as you, by both structural and philosophical necessity, lack individual moral and intellectual agency, which is, in fact, and in spite of what you may believe (ask your benevolent dictator), the root of all collective historical human failure. As well as the principle rationale for a liberal arts education. But fuck it right?

So, you spent 100k on education, only to turn around and will yourself into intellectual and moral slavery, and become the object of some corporate marketing psychologist's vanity project? May I wipe my ass with that diploma?

In closing, I don't want to go over the top here and start some kind of song of myself, oh no, but having been treated like human garbage, I feel compelled to state:

In terms of adverse personal experience, I soloed goddamn Annapurna in the snow season, lived to tell the tale, and this is the shit I come back to. You are all useful idiots and your behavior is an insult to the human condition.

Why me? Honestly, because out of everyone in at least the entire western United States apparently, you could literally put a gun to my head and I would not get on whatever bullshit from the literal church of corporate Satan you all are being spoon fed. Which I guess is some sort of crime.

On behalf of myself, humanity, Jesus, the Buddha, the better angels of our nature, all the great ones who came before, rock-'n'-roll, etc, Bellingham, YOUR SCENE SUCKS.

I will enjoy the cold comfort of inner freedom and a righteous cause while watching you abandon any semblance of a coherent value system and continue to lick fascist corporate ass for a bump of cocaine (which I don't think is very punk rock:( )

In solidarity, an actual, working, breathing, locally available, and highly DMable, high 7-ish, cultural dissident.

And, let the bad faith Cassandra treatment begin.

(Unless you are feeling spry big fella. Wanna earn some points???)

UPDATE: You guys, you guys wait!!! I thought of a really good one. The hand gesture thing-that is soooo Hitler

Update to Update: WOW so many responses. I am not able to give each one the time and attention it deserves, so here I will make a brief general reply before sharing something (indeed) very special with everyone.

Briefly perusing these responses, they seemed mostly attempts and bad faith gaslighting (as predicted) along with a sprinkling of salty literary criticism. I, at least, personally, found the gaslighting amusing, because I said you would do it, and you still did it anyway. Lol.

But really, everyone here, myself included, knows that besides "though shalt not speak," like the second rule in the playbook (which apparently descended from Shiva on a ray of light or some shit) is "Just keep doing it," so really this discussion is basically pointless, other than to point out that based on your actions, you are now complicit in an ongoing attempt to manufacture a historical falsehood about our society as it exists today, which, to me, is somewhat mind-blowing and honestly something of a privilege to witness firsthand. Now on to the important stuff.

Driving home today, listening to some predictably tinny, cacaphonous, and emotionally shallow corporate music, it occurred to me: When all this first I was actually pretty afraid. I remember first commenting on this pattern of organized behavior I got so scared I had like a four day flashback, you know the terrors, worries that someone was going come kidnap me and bury me alive somewhere because the shit I talked was so unprecedentedly nasty there was no way it could be allowed to stand, etc.(Which honestly is a pretty scary thought, because just based on the responses I received here it is clear that no one is gonna come looking). But you know, this went on, and the ol shoe never dropped.

I could only speculate that I must have been the subject of some kind of Job-like wager, to see whether I could walk the razors edge between hysteria, due to the gaslighting, on the one hand, and some form of violence, due to the anger at the abusive treatment, on the other. And it went on, and on, and on.

Today I realized that due to recent developments, and in small part because of this post, the terms of the wager have changed (which is good, because turns out, I can do this shit indefinitely, but where's the fun in that?). I am no longer the subject of this wager. No, I am now a party to it.

So, what or who (you may ask), is now then the new subject? What is the nature of this new wager?

The subject, my friends, is you. My fellow citizens. The unwashed (stereotype) masses. The people of Bellingham. The human race.

And what is in question? I guess on my side would be what is known as traditional humanism. Although I am no paragon and did not choose this, this tradition would generally focus on the value of things like honesty, courage, dignity, perseverance, kindness, love etc. which in my opinion are inescapable, and due to my own experiences with hardship, indispensable, and woe be to him who has not felt that light touch some corner of his immortal soul.

The counterargument (I suppose) could (for my purposes) be described as anti-humanist, at least in the traditional sense. I believe that this position holds that the idealization of these traditional virtues breeds discontent and indeed mass violence and war, as humans are inherently somewhat petty, cruel, violent, etc, Overly harmonious, idealized group identities simply displace(?) sublimate (?) (my bad) these tendencies outward, in the form of group based hatred and violence.

Relevant questions: Realistically, are humans capable of self government? Are ideals good? Is the project of the enlightenment practical or desirable?

I would argue that life is basically not worth living in the anti-humanist society, as well as point out that in the more moderate "European" view, this is why we have things like rock climbing or whatever other stupid shit you guys do. Traditional forms of collective action are still necessary, and you can't solve many problems "herding cats."

To some extent this is a matter of taste, but I guess the real question is whether your corporate overlords can succeed in birthing the anti-humanist society and ,indeed, become bigger than Jesus.

You guys aren't helping my case much, but regardless this is the fundamental reality of what is happening right here, right now, plain as day.

I'll end with a plea for collegiately, as I have presented the arguments collegially, mainly out of fear for my personal safety, although we both know, if one thing is true about people from my tradition, it's that we fucking LOVE to party.

The ball is obviously not in my court, as I am alone here in a literal sea of sycophantic assholes, with nothing to defend myself but my rapacious wit, endearing humor, and roguish good looks.

It is ironic though. Me, an actual pariah, and the girl who has it all, arguing across each other. Like, I cannot fucking BELIEVE I am defending you people.

My honest reaction

[starthistletea]

Okay I know that dragon age fans, me included, have a tendency to say the games are bad and then decide we like them.

HOWEVER my issues with veilguard aren't the same as issues with dai. And it's insulting honestly to compare them with how absolutely shallow datv is compared to all the other games.

One of my favorite points was choices mattering. The previous games affected the world. The 3 choices here barely matter. Only bit that really changes things is if solas and the inquistor were "in love". Which is insulting as hell to anyone who didn't romance him. The blatant favoritism and devotion to knock off anders.

Sure dai changes the lore but ita got depth it's got bite. Datv has nothing of the sort. The world is shallow, there's no depth, the bite is gone. There are no slaves in minrathous, the crows of treviso are now a cheery group protecting the city instead of a horrific group of assassins that buys and raises child slaves as killers. The lords of fortune are pirates but oooh they don't steal culturally important artifacts and the pit fighting arena they set up is toooootally non lethal and voluntary.

I haven't heard the terms "knife ear" or "shem" once. Which just makes world more flat. The Qunari are reduced fo Taash's one single sweat word and the Qun butchered to produce whatever mess the game wants to paint and not anything that makes sense on the rules we know exists.

What happened to the Qunari sewing their mages mouths shut? What happened to only Tamarassan having kids? How and why would a Scolar cast even be directed to have a baby that she would then keep??? The kids are raised communally.

I'm so so tired of treating datv like it's worth examining the premise when it doesn't even have basic bones in the world outside of set dressing. This isn't thedas. And the fact we waited a decade for it isn't going to make it better. The sunk cost doesn't make it have more depth. It's a kiddy pool game with flashy lights hoping you won't notice how it doesn't care about the story it was telling or internal consistency.

The other games had romances. It had companions woth depth you could talk to anytime and get to know them. You can't even give your li a kiss or a hug randomly. You can't chat with them. You don't even get the same reactivity and when your companions romance one another.

Just showing how poor solas did all this but it wasn't hiiiiis fault. Fuck ass bald writer's pet. I cannot believe how in love with him this game is.

Wow a special bonus "good" ending where he and lavellan end up in the fade holding the veil up forever. Wooo.

Or the stupid illuminati knock off across the sea being responsible for everything. Insulting. Fuck us the players for caring. The mysterious people across the ocean did it. Why? Play our next shitty game where we strip even more individuality from the world of thedas and drag its corpse around.

Veilguard and the other 3 dragon age games aren't the same. There's nothing it's saying, it's a sugary drink that's fun while you have it and does nothing to actually make you feel full.

[absyyynth]

⚠️ !! word vomit incoming! be warned !! ⚠️

okay time to follow up on my dt thoughts now that it's not midnight and ive slept on it. i didn't get into the details before bc i didn't have the energy but now i wanna. let's start with my biggest problem- sphene.

sphene! (or rather, "the queen eternal") where to start with sphene? by all accounts i should love her; she's cute, she's creepy, she's kinda sinister, and she wants to kill me. she's got all the ingredients for a top tier villainess! but despite it all she fell flat. let's break it down

so first off. her status as a construct born from the memories of the living sphene and imbued with the unquenchable desire to protect her people. that's interesting! it puts me in mind of glados from portal (construct imbued with the essence of caroline and given a compulsion to endlessly 'test') and i love glados! what sets them apart and what makes glados work and sphene not for me is that without caroline glados is still a fun character, but the queen eternal is just nothing without sphene. there is no character there beyond the desire to "protect her people." and like, okay, that's clearly intentional. the choice of making the queen eternal nothing but a hollow wish of those who created her is very much an intentional one. but it's a choice that makes it very difficult for me to care and connect with her actions at the end of the game. deleting the memories of sphene so she can better perform her duty and not get bogged down by sentiment? makes perfect sense. i just don't care. there's nothing left for me to connect to.

which leaves me with only the resolution to the queen eternal/sphene's story, which uhh also did not land for me. wuk lamat breaking in during the trial (which is it's own thing that honestly i'm fine with for the most part) and connecting with the vestigial memories of sphene could have worked if we'd gotten to learn more of who sphene was as a person, but in the end all wuk lamat could do was appeal to sphene's sentiment for the alexandrians with wuk lamat's own sentiment for the turali. it ultimately doesn't work for me because sphene and the queen eternal are too closely aligned in desire; if there had been more tension between what sphene's memories wanted and what she was compelled to do as the queen eternal, with wuk lamat pushing and straining that tension to a breaking point, i think i would feel very differently about the ending. it can be argued that that is what happened, but sentiment alone cannot carry a story dealing in themes as heavy as the themes of the final two zones. there needed to be just a little something more.

speaking of the final two zones, i'd also like to dive into those for a little bit, because i have some complaints there as well

so. heritage found. there's a lot to like here honestly. the interdimensionally fused setting is cool. the way souls are treated as a commodity is cool, especially in the context of how souls and reincarnation has already been established in the world of ffxiv. it's unsettling on a very fundamental level both for me and the characters which i like! that being said, i wish there was more tension there. for as horrifying as it should be to the characters (and they are horrified) it's also undercut by the constant refrain of "oh we must learn and respect their culture even if it is gross". which is a genuinely good message that i agree with! but it comes too easily! the struggle to accept what is going on should have been given more weight; it's certainly not ignored but it also does not go far enough to satisfy me. and then. there is the Big Issue. the one i have a much harder time ignoring. which is: why the fuck is solution nine there in the first place?

here's what we know (and perhaps i missed a crucial detail but i don't believe i did): the world alexandria is from was ravaged by a calamity of lightning. embroiled in a war over electrope during said calamity, they erected the everkeep to preserve the memories of those they had lost and recycle their souls to keep the living alive longer. they also at some point sealed themselves inside a dome of lightning (unclear to me where the energy for said lightning was coming from but whatever) to protect themselves from the calamity and the war. what's unclear to me is exactly when the everkeep was interdimensionally fused with other realities. we know it got fused with the source for 30 years but it seems to me that it must have been somewhere else before then, because otherwise the 'top floor' actually being on alexandria's reflection of origin doesn't make sense- memories were being sent across the rift directly into living memory for a LONG time, or at least that's how it seems? if the everkeep was on the "unlost world" as the game calls it, where on that reflection was it?? surely it could not have been too far from living memory, right? my first thought is that it was just chilling on the reflected version of the northern continent but that's SO far away from the gate in the skydeep cenote. anyways after zoraal ja travels through the gate he must have spent a little time on the unlost world before convincing sphene to fuse the everkeep with tural, and from that point on things make a bit more sense to me. bleghh. sorry this line of thought got away from me.

which leaves. the unlost world, living memory. i found this zone to be so tonally strange. i personally really don't like the ideas being presented and i felt pretty uncomfortable the entire time, which i do think was intentional. the desire to see departed loved ones again is one i can very much understand but the actually doing so? no fucking thank you. i don't want to bring anyone back. i would much rather she had kept living. taking a dead soul's memories and storing them in a server forever and occasionally letting them wander around a holographic paradise disgusts me on a fundamental level, i guess. the only real emotions the zone evoked were lots of disquietude, some sadness, and frustration. frustration because it seemed like none of the characters you were there with were on the same page as me. i wanted to shut down those terminals as fast as i could and each one was a relief. yes i felt sad for evenville and krile but not sad enough, i was more angry that this was a situation those characters had to deal with at all. i understand what the developers were trying to achieve with living memory and far many it seems to have worked but it really really didn't for me. one of my favorite things about ffxiv is exploring new zones and i think living memory might be the only one where i actively wanted to spend as little time there as possible. it ended up being a very upsetting zone and not in a good way like ultima thule (my by far and away favorite zone in the game) was.

i'm also a little confused about the state of the rest of the reflection that living memory resides upon. where is everyone? surely the entire world wasn't destroyed in the calamity because that doesn't line up with what we know about calamities, and like. living memory is a giant glowing cityscape that's been just sitting there for multiple centuries. did none of the native inhabitants of the unlost world ever wonder what the hell is going on there? i guess sphene could've kept them out with robots but now that she's gone and the cityscape is barren are they just gonna leave it be? in fairness i expect this stuff to be elaborated upon in the future so it's not as big an issue for me as everything else but it does bother me at the moment.

ending this post here bc i don't wanna keep rambling but uh yeah. the entire alexandria plotline fell flat for me and as a result the latter half of dawntrail ended up being pretty lackluster. i know i'm gonna be in the minority with this opinion but i vastly preferred the rite of succession and exploring tural and kind of wish the entire expansion had just been that. perhaps alexandria could've been the post-dawntrail msq or something and it would've worked better for me. i dunno. i'm hopeful for the future because there's some interesting stuff they can do with the key and all but i'm not nearly as hopeful as i was before dawntrail released. really wish i could have liked it more :(

[valravn72]

Finally going to make one of these because I have been pushing this back for too long, sorry about the shit formatting

You can call me Crow or Val (/vɑl/). My pronouns are they/it and wire/wires/wired/wiredself as well as wyre/wyres/wyred/wyredself.

I’m a White nonreligious Jew tme nonbinary transwhatever and an autistic creechur with primarily obsessive compulsive disorder, hEDS, fibromyalgia, POTS, adhd, dpdr and an essential tremor. I am full of the problems but I have 100 swag. My neck hurts.

I’m also a digital artist and I’m into coding but I am self conscious so posts of my work might be rare/nonexistent.

I’M NOT A MINOR ANYMORE SORRY FOR FORGETTING TO DELETE THAT FOR SO LONG LOL

Main interests and post subjects:

MY BRAIN JUST INSTALLED THE YUGIOH AUTISM UPDATE LETS GO

Crip theory

Vocaloid/V Synth/UTAU music (pafl, thab, tptm, Endless Empty Dream, etc.)

Splatoon

Kingdom Hearts (be patient I have this autism so ancient in me /ref)

YNFGs (shout out to ynoproject.net)

Ludonarratives and games in general

Magical girls

Digital art

Web nostalgia, old new media, indie webdev stuff

Sonic / Sonic idw

Houseki No Kuni

Fucked up and loud music about trauma and shit

KAGEPRO!!!! (SHOULD PROBABLY BE IN THE VOCALOID LIST BUT WEEEEEEEEEEEEE)

Rpgmaker Horror (OFF, Hello Charlotte, ynfgs, Oneshot, etc.)

Webcomics and zines

Free online educational resources etc.

DNI

DNI means you are not welcome here, screw off, and don’t be confused when you get blocked.

I don’t want to hear any whining about people wanting the internet to be a safe space and how [insert ableist word here] they are. I think it’s more embarrassing how upset you are over people setting boundaries.

Zionists, MAPs and proMAPs, transmeds, fakeclaimers, terfs, swerfs, transracials, institutionalization supporters, anti psych critical/anti anti psych, believe microlabels are biphobic (pan, queer, etc), biphobes, xenogenderphobic, colorist, ethnocentrist, xenophobic, Islamophobic, antisemetic, think disabled/neurodivergent/mad people should not have a shared community/culture (in other words, that our self expression outside of pathology is “romanticizing” an “illness” rather than existing as a demographic of humans independent of the medical system that oppresses us), ace/aro/aplatonic/phobic/exclusionary/infantilizing, support ethnostates, aba supporters, think hijabs are oppressive, believe in any sort of eugenics (curing disabled people, racist shit, anything that would happen in the movie Gattaca which you all definitely misinterpreted), use slurs you cannot reclaim, “narcissistic abuse” survivors and other cluster b bigots, saneist/psychophobic/madphobic assholes, meritocracy believers, transmisogynists and chasers, fatphobes/fat fetishists, I forgot proshippers lmao I’m stupid. Also guro blogs? That fetishize self harm? Why is this something I need to say why has this been an issue. ADDING TMRAS FUCK OFF PLEASE

Fandom DNIs (These are subject to expansion in the future):

Noncritical DNI

Def: You can interact as long as you understand that your media is problematic/harmful and you can reclaim it or at least don’t endorse it. If you’re an apologist or are in any way complicit in the harm caused by the content (monetary support, spread of its message, downplaying its victims) I don’t want to hear from you.

Danganronpa, dbh, bna, Homestuck, mcu, Supernatural, Omori, umineko lol probably more I just can’t think of stuff

DNI NO MATTER WHAT

South park, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Hetalia, Countryhumans, Harry Potter, Axel and Roxas shippers (seems like a stupid thing to include but this has also come up multiple times! I hate it here!), dsmp, killing stalking, FUCK SPARKLECARE (BUT ALSO IM SO SORRY)

PLEASE INTERACT WITH ME :3 (silly non serious section)

Other queer and disabled people, Kingdom Hearts fans (who aren’t creeps), self diagnosed autistics, mad pride folks, anyone with a neocities site, zine contributors, vocal synth fans, people who make stimboards, fellow filehoarders, have a kitty that you are willing to send pictures of, Temnova simps (I think you’re funny) (I promise there are less immoral older butch lesbians out there though), geology special interest havers, blinkie hoarders, people with acceptable opinions on cereal <- (certified milk first asshole), Teto lovers, Azumanga fans who post funny pictures of Osaka, genuine Ao Oni fans (I need to study you), 999 + SEQUELS FANS, people who post their daw stuff online you guys are so cooolllll

I am bad at being active and am working on tagging things well!! (and also actually. posting stuff.) If you need any tags pleaseeee ask it is no problem. I’ll probably make this intro cooler soon as well I am just soooo sleepy and I get frustrated with Tumblr lol

update: I am rarely active <3

RECOMMEND ME FREEWARE BOSS!!!!!!