#then when he showed up for the meeting in ep 3 they all thought ‘MAN. well it was fun while it lasted.’

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Scandals, Face Offs & Disappointments, Oh my!

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Oct 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 6 of 12 - 3 tiny girls ragging on Jack was possibly the greatest opening sequence ever. Poor Jack. He is so not single anymore - so far as everyone around him is concerned. 

Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 5 of 15 - Sports day continues. We get a little backstory on the respective crushes on Noh. The jealousy between Phun & Earn is way more extreme in this version. I'm not mad about it. I love a claiming. Although it is so unfair of Phun to claim Noh when they agreed not to go there, AND he’s dating someone else. The byplay with Pete’s ex was fun. I wonder if we’re supposed to suss that Noh knows he’s gay in this version? 

I'm doing a face-off style watch along of this new version versus the original 2014-2015 version. Where I decide with each new ep which one wins. I will render a final judgement at the end. Frankly, I'm warming to this show way more than I thought I would give my extreme affection for the original.

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 7 of 12 - Oh it’s so cute that he just wants to officially move in. And the necklace claiming thing was darling. Mini boyfriend era. Min being a kept baby girl was kinda fun. The family thing was too sweet. Oh noes my man has been strangled! Oh good he’s okay. Stupid breakup “for the plot” moment, they could have easily been separated by baddies, we didn’t need to go through this. 

Fourever You (Thai Thurs YT) ep 3 of 16 - I don’t care how cute he is or how longing those beautiful eyes, ghosting is a pretty big offense. Especially high school first love. I’m glad Ter is being difficult about it. Still the backstory is getting frustratingly confusing. It seems increasingly convoluted (full of girls) and I’m not sure what happened. So I’m not sure if I should be on Hill’s side or Ter’s. I’m beginning to feel manipulated and I don’t like it. I still like the show, but not as much as I did last week. I’m on a roller coaster here. 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 11 of 12 - It remains odd, disjointed, but still modestly entertaining. Ozone using a well placed Phi for manipulation purposes made me happy. Random het wedding is random. 2 drunk horny sunshine babygurls was cute tho. 

Every You Every Me (Thai Mon Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - AKA Just one meet cute after another. Nice queer rep this time. It’s lovely, just not my style BL. 

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 10 fin - Okay so last week half the ep was eng subbed and this week only 3/4. Whatever. Please note my extreme annoyance with everything about this show will color my rating. As it should. Ready for a mini rant?

Conclusion

What to say about this damn show? It wasn’t what I wanted and I didn’t like it. I’m disappointed in myself for having expectations and in it for not living up to them. It starred August for fucks sake! How could they fuck it up so bad? I wanted it to be a Thai reinterpretation of the brilliance that was Addicted giving us the ending that we never got to have but the narrative deserved. I got a resounding nope. The side couple was messed with, rearranged, and then entirely dropped and forgotten. The main romance was weirdly obsessive without any physical payout or emotional resolution, as if this remake were the censored Chinese version. All characters acted irrationally most of the time, and from what I could tell there was no logic to the ending, which seemed to be to minors escaping to a beach, abandoning their schooling, families, and respective futures. It was a hot mess. Without being hot. 4/10 fatally flawed, do not bother

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - it's bad. I don't like it.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (Korea Thurs Gaga) eps 1-2 of 8 - High school student Do Hoe lives with his violent and brutal father who runs a Taekwondo gym in a rural area. Then cheerful Ju Young arrives who dreams of going to college for Taekwondo. Joy begins to fill Do Hoe's dark life. An unexpected incident forces them apart, they reunite over a decade years later.

Make no mistake this one is dark. And Korea can go many directions when it leans dark. So I’m not entirely sure what to expect. All the triggers: child abuse, corporal punishment, alcoholism, gambling, and a few other things. But also a fantastically awkward kiss. Oh this is VERY good. I’m enjoying it. Tumblr is officially losing its tiny mind about it. What can I say? This hellhole loves it some gritty dark angst with high romance and deep meaning. All hail the return of Queen Hwang Da Seul. 

My Damn Business (Korea Sat YT) eps 3 of 7 - He kinda is the worst boss ever. Now he’s turned into a drinking buddy whether baby likes it or not. I really feel for this kid. I do want more backstory on both of them. Why are they the way they are? All that said….. phenomenal kiss. Thanks boys. 

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 4 of ? - I do like the brothers relationship. Even though we know it’s gonna become romantic, it’s nice to see them all teasing and friendly. Meanwhile I’m getting a little exhausted by the bullying and I’m very much ready for the revenge narrative to continue.

Although I understand we have more of a spiral first, could we get on to some actual kissing soon? 

I'm shallow I just wanna see BV kiss the next boy. It's the BL world's version of Pokemon.

Our Golden Times (Hong Kong YT) 6 fin - Okay so this was the last ep! 

Summary

This was an odd disjointed little piece, but the most BL BL we’ve ever seen out of Hong Kong. The optics are good and it’s enjoyable for what it is, which is a circumspect, badly subbed, and slightly odd yet earnest reunion romance. I liked it more for what it could be, and for what it represented, than for what it actually was, but I still liked it.

7/10 recommended with reservations

I would like to nominate Our Golden Times @bengiyo as a candidate for the next "Girl you tried." Because it really did try hard to be the best little BL it could be under the circumstances.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - I do like all the couples, and in classic Taiwan style we’re ending ultra sappy (when they don’t fuck it up, and I don’t think this one will). Mei is the secret power behind the throne - as we all knew - love this for her, and us. 

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 5 of 10 eps - I'm falling beind because my subber is, but sort-of trying to keep up. I don’t know. Just Japan messing with us, I guess.

Eccentric Romance (Korea Weds Viki) eps 3-4 of 12 - It’s oddly erotic with all the gym stuff but also awkward and weird with the jelly plus suspicion. (Hi GeonU, another Thai/Korea BL for you? Is it a thing for you now? Could you recruit Jimin to the cause? I mean you go him into a reality competition. BL is right there. Waiting. Pretty please with a shirtless hottie on top?) Anygay, I keep thinking that this show would actually be better if the Thai character were just a Korean character and this was just a regular KBL. Although, it probably still wouldn’t be very good.

It's airing but...

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) 10 eps - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a café. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming:

10/21 Love in the Big City (Korea Mon Viki) ep 1 of - Okay, this is both a movie (already out) and a series. Neither one is likely BL and I can't imagine it will end happily. Here's your synopsis:

Cynical fun loving student Young pinballs from home, to class, to on night stands. He and Jaehee, his female besie and roommate, frequent nearby bars where they push away their worries about life, love, and money with soju and hookups.

Apparently this is causing a homophobic ruckus in SK right now. As is wont to happen when one puts a really big name in the gay lead and your country is, well, pretty damn homophobic. Brokeback mukbang anyone? (Oh yes I am aware I'm a turd, but I'm too old for this crap. I guess that makes me a coprolite.)

10/23 See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga Viki et al) 10 eps? - Zi Xiong, a third-generation heir, attempting to flee from taking over their family business, meets and falls in love with Shao Peng, who works as a hearing-impaired nurse. From the same production house as Kiseki Dear To Me in partnership with Shinehouse Theatre, funded by Taiwan’s BIGART + Japan's Rakuten (Viki). Show includes Lin Chia Yo (Be Loved in House: I Do). Director Chiang Ping Chen’s childhood experiences with his deaf uncle have inspired the drama.

10/27 Perfect 10 Liners (Thai Sun YouTube?) 24 eps! - New directing yet another university BL with engineers + their mentees. Based on a Jittirain novel. with a massive cast and massive run time. We will be watching this until APRIL of 2025!

ForceBook playing the same old characters = enemies to lovers tsunder/sunshine jock/nerd thing.

PerthChimonSanta are doing the cohabitation cool guy/dork trope.

JuniorMark are doing popular sunshine meets lonely sad boy (the only interesting pair IMHO).

Not sure if these will be interwoven (We Are style) or shorter stand alone runs-within-the-run of 8 eps each (Y-Destiny style).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

You just kissed his brains out, what do you think? (Eh, we all know the aniyo is coming. This uke is made of tsudere and 아니요 ) (Damn Business)

I know, it's not a good show, but just LOOK at his face.

And the uke drunken shenanigans was brilliant. Loved it. (Battle Writers)

I did LOVE the twist on Golf. (Love Sick 2024)

Joke coming for our hearts just like...... it's TOO MUCH. War is SO DAMN GOOD. (J&J)

Calling out the trope HDS?

Gah. So awkward.

(Both from LFTCOT)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

[gh0stsp1d3r]

ℳ𝒶𝓎𝒷𝒶𝓃𝓀𝓈 𝓈𝒾𝓈𝓉ℯ𝓇

Chapter 4- I love you.

Season 2, ep 3-4

Series masterlist

Summary- something is wrong with Rafe, no one will listen, except for you.

“Rafe I know you’re upset, I know you’re feeling bad. But you don’t have to, okay? I know you didn’t mean to hurt her. All right? They said they’ve checked all the hospitals, they checked the morgue. There’s been nothing. It’s good news, means she’s okay, all right? She’ll come back to us.”

“What if I’m not okay?” He spoke, trying his best to open up to his dad. It was always Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.

“What? I’m sorry.”

“I’m not okay.”

“You are. You’re okay, buddy.”

He shook his head, Ward didn’t get it. “No, dad, I’m not okay.”

“We’ll go back, get a good nights sleep. We’ll get a steak or soemthing. You’re gonna feel completely different in the morning, I know you will.”

Rafe put his face in hands, he wasn’t listening. “Dad, I thought I was okay, but I’m not.” His voice cracked and his eyes welled up with tears, he hid it from his dad.

“Get control of yourself.” Ward whispered.

“I just keep… I keep having these um… these thoughts in my head.” He stood up. “And I don’t know if I can control them. And I’m just… I’m afraid. I don’t know how much more of this shit i can take.” Rafe finally looked at his dad, who stood in front of him now.

The two talked over each other.

“I need you, okay? Not her. I need you, Kay?”

“I know, i know-“

“You’re not listening to me, I’m having a hard time,”

Ward hugged him, it was all fake affection. Just a show.

“You need to man up. Okay, look at me.” Wards hands went to the back of Rafe’s neck, making him look into his eyes. “Man up right now. Thank you.”

Rafe stared at him, he didn’t understand. He watched Ward lie to the cops, staring distantly.

He took out his phone with a deep breath, pulling up your contact. You were the only one he knew would listen.

He looked up at Ward who was walking back over to him now.

“Where you going, Rafe?” Ward asked when he turned around and began to walk away.

“On a walk, I’ll meet you at the house soon.” He mumbled.

“Rafe, it’s dark, you can’t-“

Rafe didn’t care, ignoring his father’s protests against it and putting the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” You mumbled out tiredly after a few rings.

“Hey. Sorry to wake you up.” He spoke, his voice making your eyes widen and sit up on the couch.

“No. No you’re fine. Uhm… how is it…?”

He chuckled quietly, shaking his head to himself and running a hand through his hair.

“Pretty bad.”

“Why?” You asked him, listening. You listened to him intently as he spoke, unlike his dad and the others.

“Uhm… Sarah and her boyfriend are alive.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah. It was uh… yeah. Anyways, they tried to get the gold from us and I just… I accidentally shot her.��� His voice was hoarse, he messed with the ring on his finger.

“Are you okay?”

His hands stopped, he froze for a moment. That was the first time he’d heard the words come out of anyone’s mouth.

“I… I don’t know. I just… I keep…” he paused, you could tell he was hesitating.

“You can tell me.”

“I keep having these, uh, thoughts… like, really, really bad ones.”

“About…?”

He swallowed. “Everything.”

“And I don’t think I’m okay. I think there’s something wrong with me.” His breathing was heavy.

“Rafe…”

“And no one will listen. Not my dad, not my friends, nobody. And all he tells me is to ‘man up’ but I can’t. I can’t do it anymore.” There was now tears falling down his face, he ran a hand over his face.

“I’m here. I’m here for you. Your dad is an asshole, he’s making you do his dirty work for him. You can’t keep doing it. It’s not good for you.”

“I know, I know. But I just want him to love me, I want him to-“

“You want him to see you. I know.”

“That’s all I want.”

It was silent for a little, his sobs being the only thing heard.

“I love you.” You told him after a while. It was the first time he’d heard the words in a long time, you’ve never said it to him and he’s never said it to you.

His crying had stopped, and he sniffled. “I love you too. I’m sorry for this.”

“It’s okay.”

“When I get back, can I come over?”

“Of course.” You told him, looking around the house. “It feels empty here.” You said with a laugh.

“He never showed up?”

“He got arrested, again. I know, shocking.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’m used to it by now.”

“Right…” he chuckled. “I’m sorry, again. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you.”

————————————

“Why did you make me walk all the way out here? What’s going on?”

“I have to tell you something.” Ward turned to Rose now. “Sarah… is alive. I saw her in Nassau with John B. Um… she was with people from the island, and they tried to take the gold from us on the road there. But it got ugly. She got shot. But he didn’t mean to, Rose.”

She was shocked, her mouth agape as she listened.

“He was just… he was aiming at John..”

“Who- who didn’t mean to?”

“Rafe.”

“Oh..”

“He didn’t mean to, though, honey, he was just…”

“Rafe shot Sarah? Is she okay?”

“I don’t know. I hope so, God.”

“Well, I told the police that Rafe was here when Peterkin was shot.”

“So? Yeah?”

“So? So if Sarah’s coming home and testifies and they believe her,”

“She’s not gonna do that-“

“It’ll come out that I lied under oath.”

“She’s not gonna do it!”

“Of course she would! Rafe just shot her!”

“Rose, she… he didn’t mean to!”

“Ward, Ward. Ward, there’s something wrong with him, okay? You’ve been ignoring it since he was ten but there is something wrong with Rafe. He hasn’t been home in almost 2 days-“

“Stop it, Rose, okay? Please. I’m asking you to stop.”

“You always told me to think three moves ahead. Well I’m thinking, and if you can’t keep Sarah from testifying, you’re gonna have to make a choice. Rafe or Sarah.”

“I can’t choose.”

“Well, if it comes down to it and you can’t make the decision, I will.” She turned to walk away.

——————

“Bro, the kick on a Glock 17, like I mean you… you load it up, you line it up. It’s like… yah!” Rafe fake a shot, knocking into a man who stared at him.

“Do you mind?” Bob asked him.

“Do I mind?” Rafe asked, leaning down against the bar.

“Yeah, I do mind, Bob. C’mon, take a shot with me… pussy.” He mumbled, pouring the drink onto the spot in front of him.

“Hey, what the hell are you doing?!” The man shouted, standing up and pushing Rafe.

“Take a seat, that’s what you need to do!” The man sat down and Rafe tried to fight him before Kelce pushed him away.

“Jesus Christ.” You mumbled, walking up to the two. You checked his location on his phone, and when you saw him out you knew exactly what he was doing.

“How’d you get here?” He slurred, turning to you with a furrowed eyebrow.

“I snuck in, what the fuck happened, Rafe?”

“Nobody’ll drink with me, man.”

Kelce interrupted.

“Sorry, but I swear to God, 20 minutes ago, I just saw John B and your sister, bro. They’re alive.”

“I’m trying to relax and you come over here and tell me this bullshit?”

“I know you’re trying to relax, bro. But I saw them buying beer at Geechies.”

“Freaking bullshit.”

“You wanna go see for yourself? I’m telling you, I saw them, go sober up, man.”

“Hey, put it on Cameron!” He shouted as the two of you walked away.

“I don’t think going to your dealer is going to help this shit, okay?” You told him when he spoke his plan.

“Go home, y/n.” He tried to wave you off, walking towards his bike.

“Rafe, I’m being serious.”

“You can help us or go home.”

You groaned in annoyance. You didn’t trust him driving in his drunken state. And someone had to hold him back in case things did get messy.

“I’m driving. I’m not trying to get us both killed.” You mumbled, getting on his bike.

“Yes ma’am.” He mumbled. Wrapping his arms around your body and leaning his head against your back.

——

Taglist:

@cassie0sstuff @rafesgiirl @fals3-g0d @tiaamberxx @callsignwidow

[thesunfyre4446]

I’m surprised to see so many people happy with the Sept scene, it’s complete illogical fan service.

They should’ve been clawing at each others faces. Instead you have Rhaenyra chuckling and joking “I’ve begun badly” girl, Vhagar made a mukkbang out of your son. A little bit of “Bitchy Alicent” peeked out towards Rhaenyra but still. Alicent knows Rhaenyra is a liar, the “On my mother’s memory” is a dig at that so why should Alicent believe at face value that Rhaenyra didn’t order Jaehaerys’s murder?

Rhaenyra also never apologizes about Jaehaerys, never expresses remorse or condolence. Her feelings last episode were more to do with it being bad publicity and less that a child her littlest sons ages was murdered. The whole thing is being treated like a one sided Rhaenicent fic where they wax on and on about Luke’s death and Alicent must repent for it every single day and twice on Sundays. While Jaehaerys is brushed over, that is if he’s even mentioned at all. His murder is never something that Rhaenyra needs to atone for. It’s never something Alicent or Helaena hold a grudge towards her for. All is forgiven.

That’s what the show is doing.

Not only that the Sept scene has ruined the potential of f Rhaenyra taking King’s landing. This meeting didn’t end badly, they didn’t throw insults or hands. Both just said they had no part in the murders of their son and grandson, both believed the other. Then Alicent let Rhaenyra go peacefully and Rhaenyra never intended on actually stabbing Alicent.

Alicent tells Rhaenyra that she meant it when she said she’d make a fine Queen- despite Rhaenyra never showing the potential to be a great ruler and Alicent deploring her for years because Rhaenyra’s lack of regard for duty usually led to Alicent having to fulfill them as well as her own and Viserys’s.

While Rhaenyra walks away from this reaffirmed with this thought that Alicent is still this pure soul and gentle heart- despite Rhaenyra accusing Alicent of hiding her true nature behind a cloak of righteousness and then saying “Now they see you as you are”. How do you go from getting sliced by Alicent to basically saying “Alicent is a sweetheart, she wouldn’t hurt a fly!”

Sure Aegon is about to almost die from injuries gotten in battle against the blacks and Rhaenyra will lose Jace and Viserys, that is going to impact both women but after this meeting of “It wasn’t me!” The other things can be explained away too, can’t they? Rhaenyra didn’t directly burn Aegon and Alicent isn’t the one who skewered Jace and kidnapped Viserys.

The build up of tension, rage, hate, resentment was just destroyed with this meeting. It doesn’t bode well for the Queen in chains/Half year reign/Maegor with teats storyline. We probably aren’t going to get one of the lines of all time, Alicent saying that her Grandson was an innocent child and Rhaenyra’s sons were “bastard blood shed at war” and Rhaenyra probably won’t even put Alicent in gold chains.

The entire war just seems pointless after this, these two started this way before Viserys died. With Driftmark or even long before that when Rhaenyra had Alicent’s father exiled from Kingslanding and Alicent wore that dress… but they don’t want to finish it anymore?? These women are about to sacrifice their whole families for this and neither of them want it. Now they realize how pointless it all was? How they could’ve co-existed in the same place?

Also, why have the writers seemingly forgotten about Alicent’s very valid fear for her children’s lives if Rhaenyra ascended? Her fears are being validated with each episode yet they’re hinging it all on the ramblings of a dying man while he was dope sick?? On Viserys’s ramblings why didn’t Alicent(the writers) remember the conversation Alicent and Viserys had by the fire in ep 3? The one where Viserys explicitly says “a male babe born to me wearing the conquerors crown” he’s describing his son Aegon. Could Alicent have not countered Rhaenyra’s “he meant the conqueror” with “No, years ago he told me the same thing”

After having the blame of her Grandson’s murder placed on her for having non dissociative sex for once in her life, yet again Alicent will be filled with guilt. This time at the thought that the entire war and its casualties are her fault because of a misunderstanding.

Free Alicent, Ryan Condals whipping boy.

I would honestly take Benioff and Weiss, at least the seasons where they had the material laid all out for them were good. Condal has a full story outline but is still fucking up right out of the gate.

(Sorry for the long rant)

anon you ate and left no crumbs. i truly have nothing to add.

up until ep 7 the show made sense. in ep 6 alicent tells aegon that if rhaenyra becomes queen him and his brother will be murdered. but by ep 8 she apparently doesn't give a fuck anymore?

[hughungrybear]

Lyrical essay in the On1y One series

The cicadas in that summer were more noisy than in any other year. The lush branches outside the classroom windows couldn't block the sunshine. The breeze blew through the treetops, and the sun shined brightly. They were so young.

from Episode 1: "He's NOT my brother"

He is like a tree, without happiness or sadness. A part of his body will be sleeping in the earth peacefully; a part will be dancing with the wind joyfully; a part will be providing green shade willingly; and a part will be bathing in the sunshine warmly. So quiet and so proud will he be that he won't have to depend on anyone, or search for anything. (Tian's note: Lyrical essays set the mood without being explicit, like placing an arm around his shoulder to subtly show I've already got him on my side.)

from Episode 2: "Getting close is just lips touching"

Deep into the night, all is silent. I don't know which cicada it is, but it suddenly lets out a long cry. Even though it's late summer, I feel a flutter like it's early spring.

from Episode 4: "The glamorous end of the century"

A young man's heart is unpredictable as June weather, heavy rain pouring and clouds overhead, feeling like it will never end. But when the rain stops, it's all bright again with the sun hanging up high.

From Episode 5: "Closed, as the wind rises..."

The gods take away people's fears. Young men's love is intense and passionate. At that moment, the sunset bathed the winding Tamsui River. Stained-glass windows were outlines in a golden hue, and the feather on the clasp had a glowing edge. Time, like this blessing, feels gentle and everlasting.

From Episode 7: "Belonging. Let's live in the dorm together"

A young man's heartbeat is a midsummer wasteland. It's endless and untamed. When the wind blows, the wild grass stretches out to the horizon.

From Episode 11: "Kissing is just two lips touching?"

Grief is boundless as the setting sun. Eastward I go, where wild winds run. Fallen blossoms turn to mud, nurturing spring's new buds.

From Episode 12: "Sprout. The growing pains of starting over"

Bonus not part of the lyrical writing (usually quoted from Wang, either at the beginning or end of the ep):

There are about seven billion people on Earth, if each person's average lifespan is 80 years, you may encounter 1,000 people per day, and you will meet about 292 million people all your life. The probability of two people meeting is 0.00417. If you like him, and he also likes you, you're the only one for each other. That probability is only 0.0000173...

(Tian on the mathematics of finding The On1y One)

In everyone's life, there will be the very moment, a special one on which your mind lingers. That's the most important memory in your life. Every time you think of it, you will have a special feeling in your heart.

(Wang on memories and special moments)

from Episode 1: "He's NOT my brother"

At that moment, I completely forgot what the English teacher had said about the difference between "up to you" and "down to you". It wasn't until later that I realised when Jiang Tian said those words, my world was already upside down. My world was turned upside down.

from Episode 3: "Actually, we can give it a try"

Venus and Mars are in a 180-degree opposition, creating a powerful and intense attraction. The impossible can be possible. A twist, and it's the glamorous end of the century.

from Episode 4: "The glamorous end of the century"

If there's only one person in the world who can understand you, he is the most important. I just know there's a time for everything. I should go a little wild while I'm young. After all, I'll have decades ahead to play it safe. What's the rush?

From Episode 6: "When will the schedule start?"

Isn't there a saying that when you can drop the pretense and comfortably share both troubles and joys, you'll become friends?

(Tian's thought while looking at Wang)

When I feel abandoned by the world and think nothing I do will make a difference, I forget that someone with no place to call home is still trying so hard for me and giving his all to protect me.

(Wang's thought on Tian while the latter is frantically looking for him)

From Episode 7: "Belonging. Let's live in the dorm together"

A girl's shyness is like a tender cherry under the sunlight...16- and 17-year-olds are like fruits in the morning sun, sparkling.

(Passages read by Wang from the Guide to Lyrical Writing)

It's like something straight out of the Guide to Lyrical Writing. All 16- and 17-year-olds are shining.

(Tian reminiscing as he finally empties his suitcase)

From Episode 8: "16- and 17-year-olds are shining"

The book says that 16- and 17-year-olds are shining. As summer wanes, some cicadas never escape the earth, trapped the whole season. Meanwhile, someone is stuck at midsummer's end, waiting for his one and only.

From Episode 9: "Exposing youth fearlessly"

It's precisely these movements and advancements that broke down walls. And because of these so-called boundaries, we get the chance to enter each other's worlds and understand one another. So, do you think I'm invading your world now, or are you invading mine?

From Episode 10: "Thief. Who is about to cross the line?"

[bengiyo]

Love Sea Ep 3 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Tongrak and Mut started to have sex on the beach, but then Rak rushed them back to the hotel so he could write his thoughts out for his novel. Mut was understandably frustrated and went to take a shower, which of course ended in sex (but Fort showed ass!). Rak became possessive of Mut, and once again tried to use his money to lock Mut down. We had a great moment of Rak checking in about how out they can be, and the two shared insights into their histories. We learned that Rak sees his work as an outlet to express himself, and that Mut has worked his ass off to earn his place in this community as a respected leader. We ended on some trauma flashbacks underwater for Rak involving his father who abandoned them, and a friend who may have been pregnant. Meanwhile, Vie had Mook come over to clean up her house and eat with her in a flirting ritual that seemed to work for both of them.

Aya is really pretty.

This weird issue with the italicized subtitles not displaying on the TV apps is driving me insane. Why do I have to pull up the episode in two places now??

It rains a lot in Thailand, so I like when they incorporate it into the shows.

Chapter 3: Where the Sky Touches the Sea

It's nice to see that Rak is able to talk nicely with a friend. He and Vie feel like they've known each other for a while, and know what each is going through. I'm curious how deep we'll get into this tabloid drama Vie is facing.

Is Kwan Rak's sister? What's going on with their dad that they're scared about him showing up around the granddaughter? I thought he was out of the picture?

Wondering what Mut must be feeling after not seeing Rak for a few days now after that incident.

Mm, Rak reverting to be as rude as possible like it'll scare Mut away.

At least he apologized after relaxing for a little bit. I hope he opens up about what's got him so stressed.

Oh fuck yeah give me the lore. Rak's messed up because his mom poured all her money into a man who didn't love her back, and his and his sister's names are messages to him.

Let's bond over family problems.

Oh, I'm kinda into this "Try it while you're on the island" proposal.

Are they trying to mirror that with this fake girlfriend proposal?

I'm not keen on playing in the sea at night, but they do kiss well.

Why is he in that bed with a towel on?

Mut baiting Rak into being the big spoon is sending me.

Unsurprised that Mut is a conservationist.

I like that Mut acknowledged Rak getting up early to see the community meeting.

Oh they have Ja playing an actor who shoves his costar away immediately. How fun.

This joke about the length of novel titles feels like they're alluding to people missing the point of the novel because title is too cumbersome.

"I'm not bi." She and Lom should meet.

Mut seemed real nervous about Rak seeing how modest his home is.

Wow, Mut's dad sounds cruel.

Okay but Rak was even more turned on by the idea that the neighbors would hear them.

The timeline is a bit vague here.

I feel like we got here a little fast, but I kinda like the way Mut is chasing this feeling with Rak he wasn't expecting to feel.

I really like Mook.

I'm looking forward to seeing how both of these guys' issues with their families play out. I feel like.we.mkssed some things this week that didn't translate into the adaptation smoothly, but I like the idea of Mut reaching for something he didn't think he could have, and a cynic like Rak being taken by that earnestness. Also amused by Mook likely having a crush on Vie while missing that Vie has been flirting this whole time. I wonder what our Mut Exposition Fairy will do next week.

[alonetimelover]

Fade To Black

pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

warnings: swearing, ep. 3 (yes, all that is happening here too), implied SA (nothing explicitly described), talk about suicide, angst, drugs consumption, feels

summary: YN loved Joel more than anyone ever. Joel was selfish and scared. They both made mistakes. They both said too much and not enough in different points in time. But it all led them to Bill's town and aftermath of what had happened, understanding something very important - love isn't always forever.

word count: ~ 7,3k

a/n: finally got over the fear of writing for joel... hope you like it x

part 2

“I love you, Joel,” she said, admiring his face - scarred, dirty and with wrinkles adoring his forehead and area over his eyes. 

There could be - there was - no one else that she could love more. No one after the whole world went to shit. Not her ex-fiancé that got infected the day of the outbreak, not her ex-boyfriend she shot after he was ready to hurt the child - Riley - she was taking care of in the QZ. Not her parents, who left her when she was five years old. Not any of her foster parents - there were more than 10 couples. She couldn’t really remember all of them. 

For years she had thought she wouldn’t be able to love anybody. And then she met Joel. And she fell in love. 

“You’re good, YN. I think Joel’d like you.”

“Don’t be stupid, Tess. I’m not good for your job, I’m a nurse not a fighter or smuggler. I can stitch you up after a bad run but there is nothing more for me to do on your escapades with him,” she answered, laughing quietly. 

“I think the opposite. Just try, he’s not gonna bite you, and if he tries I’ll deal with him.” Tess smiled. 

He didn’t bite her. From the moment he saw her, he deep down knew - she was going to change his life, him. The breeze of fresh air that she provided in the polluted world he’d been living in for over eight years. And the smile she greeted him with. The little twinkle in her eyes, saying more than her words, showing him her true self, the one she wasn’t yet ready to show.

She was going to change his life. 

And she did. 

“You’ve become soft, Miller,” said Robert on one of their meet-ups. No things to trade what annoyed Joel, putting him on the last strand of patience towards this excuse of a man. “That doll is making you weak.” 

Joel scoffed at him. ‘Piece of shit’, he thought. If not the thing Robert promised to trade over with him, he’d kill him on the spot. Or not. Two years ago he would demolish him, rip him. One year ago he’d disembowel him for all the shit he made pointing out. Now? Maybe if he said one more word about YN he would. 

“You’ve got my stuff?”

“I have something better. It-”

“I don’t need anythin’ better. I need my thing,” Joel pressed, standing up from the bench. “Either you give what I came here for or I’m leaving, no pills for you.”

“Pussy whip,” Robert scoffed, not being able to say another word, having his nose now broken. 

“My books, you have ‘em?” 

“What the fuck, Joel?! What the fuck!” Robert was cursing at the older Miller, trying to stop the bleeding. “You fucking dickhead, you fucker!”

Joel didn’t have time for this. It was already 5:50 and the time to walk home was much longer than 10 minutes. He was going to bribe guards once again for not following curfew. But most importantly, YN was waiting for him, probably - for sure - worried sick, he promised to be there at 5 at worst.

“You’ve got 10 seconds to bring me what’s mine.”

Robert, still cursing at Joel, trew all the books that YN had listed to Joel over the years. Her birthday was coming up, and it was the only thing that he came up with to surprise her with. Plus, a trip to Bill and Frank for a nice dinner that Frank had suggested last time. Maybe he would find some flowers along the way to give her as well. 

“Wasn’t that hard, was it?” 

YN remembered those birthdays being the best she ever had. Better than the one where she got her dream bike or she got accepted to medical school years before the outbreak happened. All the books she’d already read were one more time for her to enjoy, thanks to Joel. She finally had something to read to the kids she was looking after at the makeshift kindergarten she had founded. 

The trip to Bill and Frank, the flowers Joel picked up for her, made her forget about the pandemic. For the first time since 26th of September 2003 she forgot there was something called ‘pandemic’. Joel gave her one, normal day she didn’t know that she had craved so much. 

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

“Is it working?” Joel smirked, giving her yet another one of the field flowers he'd been picking up since they passed the hill, strolling towards Bill’s town.

“I’ll let you know sometime. It may be.”

“Glad to know I still have game,” he mumbled, looking around - always making sure they, she was protected and safe. 

“Does it feel strange to you? Giving flowers, celebrating?”

“A little. I’ve never thought I’d ever give flowers to a beautiful woman again. I’ve never thought I’d be able to feel anything ever again. Not after -” 

“It’s okay,” she stopped him, knowing that the topic he was referring to was taboo. There was no obligation for him to start talking about what changed him so much during the outbreak day. If he started he would feel too guilty to talk to her for the next two weeks - it already happened once. “Thank you for doing it, I appreciate it so much.”

“You’re my guardian angel, ya know?”

“And you’re mine.”

They were together for a year and a half when that conversation happened. Conversation that no one would believe could be held with Joel Miller. The monster, the killer, the smuggler and the QZ fear-inspiring man. Tess didn’t know this side of him, nor did Tommy. Joel reserved it for YN only, not knowing when and where. Not really knowing why. At least then he didn’t know that. 

She brought him peace he seeked since Sarah. Romantic and platonic love, he’d never felt before. Safeness, he thought, was required only from him and he didn’t have the right to feel it. 

It was all a mystery. Man that could kill another person for looking wrongly at him or her, was almost running around the field trying to choose the prettiest flowers. The duality of the man was surprising even for the said man. It was also scary. He felt he was going to lose one side for the other, and he couldn’t let that happen. He was not going to be able to keep her safe if he let himself slip. Then it would be someone hurting her, or him doing it. 

The sun above them was right at the zenith, burning their skins. The slight wind bringing a passing refreshment, made the leaves rustle. It was a beautiful day. 

“Thank you guys for letting us be here,” YN spoke to Bill and Frank. “It means so much to me, to us.”

“Oh, it’s no problem, YN. There is always one day during the year that you have your birthday, isn't there?” Frank smiled cheerfully, kicking Bill under the table. ‘Say something nice’ was what he said with his eyes. 

“Happy birthday, YN.”

And that was what he really meant. Because from all three of their usual visitors - YN, Tess and Joel, Bill liked YN the most. And it scared him. Somehow he felt the connection immediately, and after a year of knowing her - he thought of her as a daughter he’d never had. He slipped that once to Frank and it warmed his heart, because Frank felt the same. 

“Thank you. Thank you so much, I couldn’t ask for a better way to spend this day.”

“If you guys want,” Frank carefully looked at Bill, earning a surprising nod, “if you guys want, you can stay the night. Shower, sleep in an actually good bed, have a drink. It’s - it’s our gift to you, YN.”

… 

“We’ll talk over the radio, baby. I’ll visit whenever I can. I’ll find things to trade with Bill every week, I promise you. I won’t leave you. It’s not over,” Joel was repeating the same sentences over and over again for the last ten minutes. It was more to himself, saying he’d try and wouldn’t give up on them. 

“I know, Joel. I’m not afraid of that. I - I’ll just miss you, very, very much,” she answered with tears in her eyes. She didn’t know why she was crying. Bill’s town wasn’t much away from Boston, they had radio to talk over with. It wasn’t the end of their story. Or maybe subconsciously she felt it was going to be the slow end? “I love you, Joel.”

“I know.”

“Promise?”

“On my life.” 

“Joel! Are you listening to me? I’ve been asking you questions for the last ten minutes!” Ellie finally yelled at Joel, throwing him out of the daydream. Did it really happen the way he remembered it?

Hiking the same route he did with her, passing the field with their flowers, the plane and the little shop. Every step he took brought back memories. Especially that one. Those words had hunted him once. And they were doing it again. Rightfully so. He once again broke the promise to the person that meant to him the most. 

“Yeah, yeah. What was the question?” he said still not all present with Ellie. 

“I asked if they’re nice.”

“Frank is."

“And Bill?”

“He never liked me. Now he’s going to probably shoot me on the spot.”

Ellie stopped, “then why in the fuck are we going there? Do I need to remind you, I’m supposed to be delivered to some Firefly hospital? Joel?” She tried catching his attention, failing again. “Jesus Christ, we’re gonna die.”

“We’re not gonna die. I - I’ll just go up there without my gun, hands up and all that. It’ll be fine. You’re with me, it’s gonna keep me alive at least till I explain myself.”

“Why does Bill want to kill you?”

“I’m not a good man.”

“Yeah, no shit. Who is when the world falls apart?”

“You’d be surprised. There are people finding beauty and kindness even when the world goes to shit.”

“Stupid ones, for sure.”

“No,” he defended quickly. YN wasn’t stupid. If something, she was the smartest of them all. “Not stupid. Just good. There still are people like that.”

“So…that Frank?”

“Partially. He probably wants to kill me too, even though he once liked me. Or I thought so he did.”

“Is there someone else living there?”

“You ask a lot of goddamn questions, Ellie.” Joel had had enough. He already said too much. It’s going to hunt him in his sleep, as if he hadn’t had enough nightmares to deal with. 

“Yes, I do. But, it’s the most you’ve ever talked to me. I call it a win. And,” she longed, smirking at Joel’s grimace. “I know that there is someone else in that town.”

He left that sentence flying with the wind. Was YN still there? She must have been. She wouldn’t have left Frank and Bill alone. Especially if Frank’s health would go worse than it had already been for a few years. She wasn’t like that. She would most likely lay over the wire for them to walk over her carefully than leave all alone.

“Holy shit,” Ellie exclaimed upon seeing the town. “Those guys are geniuses!” 

Joel shook his head and opened the gate with the code that Bill had given him almost ten years ago. “Now listen, I’m giving you the rifle, and the pistol. You put it away, somewhere safe. Have a knife on you, I’ll too. Don’t stress over the words Bill or Frank say. Don’t attack them, on any condition. Understood?”

Ellie nodded her head. 

“Understood?” Joel repeated, this time more pushing.

“Understood.” 

Ellie did as Joel asked her to, and followed him two steps behind. It was crazy. The whole town was gated, flowers were blooming in their pots, flags waving at them with the wind and shop displays being tidy. It all looked like pandemic never reached this town, never touched this ground, infecting it. It was like the world in the early 2003. Or how she imagined it must have been before.

“Is that how towns looked before it all happened?”

“Some of them. It’s one of the nicest ones. There was a church nearby, clothing store, furniture one, too. You could find anything in minutes away from your home,” Joel answered frantically looking around. She must’ve been here. The flowers were taken care of, the lawns, trees and shops’ displays. It was all her, he knew it. 

“Which house is Frank’s?”

“The white one, with most flowers around it.”

“You see that no one has shot you, yet. Maybe, maybe you’re not that bad to them?”

“Get behind me.”

They were right in front of the house. It was all wrong suddenly. The doors were opened and the swing on the porch was broken. Flowers in the blue pot that YN painted for Frank were gone, the pot smashed with soil surrounding it. Looking to his right he saw two new beds of flowers, adoring the freshly mowed lawn. On the left, ground was overcropped, grass around it likely burnt. Something happened there and it made him sick to his stomach. 

He opened the fence slowly so as not to make it squeak. In no time he was on the porch, opening the door wider to get in. House smelled like oil paint and flowers, Joel recognised them as daffodils - YN’s favourite. With each step taken carefully, Ellie right behind him, he examined the space. It was clean. Too clean. 

“Bill? Frank?” He finally let the words spill into the void. 

“What the fuck?” Ellie said in awe.

Joel gave her a look, “stay here. Ya hear anything, you see anything -” he looked at the kitchen door, “yell.” 

“What if they’re gone?” Ellie prompted. 

‘There was no way,’ he thought, looking at the young girl. Bill and Frank were fine. YN was fine. He went into the kitchen not sparing Ellie another look. He needed to find them, he needed her. Walking towards their bedroom he repeated to himself that they all were fine. 

“Frank?” he called, knocking at the door, and trying to open it after a few seconds. Locked. 

Front door closed with a thud, making his heart skip a bit. 

“Ellie?” Joel asked not too loudly, as to not draw too much attention to himself. “Ellie?”

He moved to the dining room where he left her, not expecting the sight before his eyes. Ellie held against her with a knife pressed tightly to her neck, fear in her eyes mixing with tears. Hands trembling at her sides, where another knife was near her stomach. 

“Joel?” Ellie pleaded. 

“Told you to stay quiet, kid,” she pressed the knife closer to her artery, blood slowly covering the blade, shallow enough to not cause any damage beside fear. “Listen to me or your blood is covering this carpet.” 

She still hadn’t looked at him.

“YN,” Joel sighed, eyes big, looking at the woman who once shared life with him. “YN, baby-”

He took a step forward, “one more step, Miller and I’m sliding it across her neck. I’m warning you.”

“Leave her out of this, YN.”

“Don’t say my name. Don’t use it ever again. Ever. Again.” Her right hand, near Ellie’s neck, started noticeably trembling. 

“Ellie, it’s okay. She’s not going to hurt you,” Joel tried calming down the girl, whose cheeks were already staining with salty tears. Her expression telling Joel to do something. Help me, Joel. 

“You’re saying it like you know me.”

“I do know you. Point your knives at me, not her. She’s just a kid,” Joel almost cried. 

It wasn’t his YN. He knew it. She knew it. 

She let her guard down. Ignored the beeping of her alarm, informing her someone entered the town. She was too engrossed in picking up new flowers to arrange in the house. Thinking about how to change the pipe that was leaking under the bath, but also about the sink in the kitchen that must have gotten clogged over the last years that Bill didn’t have time to check it. Oh, how she wished he taught her more of his skills. 

Seeing a random girl standing in her home, made her survival mode fly over ten. Just a young girl but in this world everyone could be a possible danger, a distraction for more powerful people. So she did what Bill did teach her, sneak up, threaten and get the information. She didn’t get a chance to do the last thing. He, he interrupted her. The man she had thought she’d never see again. The man she wished she'd never see again. 

Just a little girl. Not older than Riley, maybe even younger. ‘A little girl, YN’ said a voice in her head. ‘Let go.’

She pushed Ellie away from her, making her stumble and fall on her knees near Joel. 

“Hey, hey, you’re okay,” he assured her, helping her stand up. “Get behind me, Ellie.”

What could he do more? Did he still know her as well as he did back then? She must have changed. She did. He did too. There was no way he could predict what would happen if he let his guard down for even a second. But wa she going to keep it up when she was right in front of him? Right there to touch, to hug.

“What are you doing here?” She asked finally, pointing her knives, as he asked, at him. 

“I need Bill’s help.”

She scoffed, “too bad. He won’t help you.” She shook her head with a dry laugh. If he truly knew her, the grimace on her face would tell him everything he needed to know. 

“I need to talk to him,” Joel pressed, trying to take a step forward. Knife flying down just milimetres away from his boot. “Okay, I understand.”

“Stay back, Joel. Or better - get the fuck out,” she spat. 

“Listen-”

“I won’t listen! Get out and don’t look back. You did that once already it can’t be that hard. Out!” She screamed at him, another knife flying towards his feet. “Get out, get out and go to whatever hole you crawled here from.”

Ellie started piecing everything together. She was the woman Tess briefly mentioned at the Fireflies building. ‘Get her to YN. Don’t look at me like that. Just take her. She may be done with you but she won’t let Ellie suffer. She’s too good. Take her to YN. Tell her…’ And then Tess whispered something to Joel, Ellie couldn’t hear. This woman, she must’ve been YN. Also the woman in Joel’s dreams. 

“YN, YN, YN,” Joel was repeating over and over again. 

“You’re mumbling in your sleep,” Ellie commented, noticing Joel sitting up on the worn-out couch. “Who’s YN?”

“Don’t you have better things to do?” Joel ignored his heart, skipping a beat. All those years and he still held on tight to her. 

“‘What am I supposed to do? I’m sure you’ll figure it out.’ is exactly what you said to me. Well surprise, listening to your mumbling was the best entertainment.” 

“Listen kid-” But Tess interrupted him. 

“Where’s Bill and Frank?” Ellie finally broke the sound of only heavy breathing. “Are they here?”

“Ellie, shut up,” Joel said through his teeth, scared that YN would break her composure and attack her next. 

At that moment he didn’t notice what Ellie did. YN looked at the old piano behind them, loving but hurt eyes gazing at the keys. It was the only thing in the house that was covered in dust, everything else was clean. But not the piano, and not the picture frame above it. A picture showing four people: Joel, YN and two men Ellie thought that must have been Bill and Frank. They all were hugging in there. YN and a slightly taller man smiling widely with Joel and the other guy sporting a hard look. Box of chocolates, half-opened lying next to the frame. One chocolate unwrapped, luring the flies. A vase with fresh daffodils next to it was the only cheerful thing there. 

Oh.

“Fuck,” she whispered with dispbelief, earing a hard look from Joel. “They’re dead.”

At that YN trembled. 

“What are the two of you doing awake at 6 a.m? I thought I’d get some sleep on Saturday,” YN laughed walking into the kitchen, where Bill was helping Frank eat his breakfast. “And you did food? Wow, I’m actually not mad.” 

Frank smiled at YN, loving her easy-going personality. Her love for life. 

“Surprise,” he said, after chewing the sausage. “What do you say we go shopping today?”

“Shopping?” She chuckled, choosing her own plate full of food. “Whose money are we paying for it with?” Absent-mindedly she reached for the cupboard with medicine, preparing Frank’s pills for the morning - the routine she’d been performing for more than four years now. “What’s the occasion?” 

“It’s my last day.”

“Fuck,” YN cursed as the box with pills fell to the ground. Speechless, she looked at Frank and then Bill.

“I’ve decided. Last day and no, don’t say anything yet,” Frank stopped already fumbling over words YN. “It’s settled. No taking backs. It’s my last day and I want to spend it with the both of you, with the people I love the most - my partner and our daughter. So please, will you go shopping with me?” 

“Frank, what? I - But - The pills, they, they’re working. You said you feel better, the back and legs don’t hurt as much as they did. You can hold the food better and - and the seizures stopped. You- you’re getting better,” YN was listing all the lies that Frank spilled on her over the last weeks. Hands still trying to pick up all the bottles and arrange them as they were. 

“Stop,” Bill said, clasping her hands in his. Somehow he was kneeling next to her, a soft look in his eyes. “Sit down with us, we’ll talk.” 

He led her to the chair she usually sat on, placed the food in front of her together with the tea from the herbs she grew in the garden. 

“Pills don’t help anymore, YN. They never did. I’m sorry that I’ve been lying to you but - I don’t know. I love seeing you happy after all that happened to you. And my ‘recovery’ was somehow bringing the smile on your face back. It - it was selfish of me. I know. I blame myself every day for it. And I am sorry.” Frank took a pause to dry the tears of his cheeks. “I want you to spend this day with me the way I want it to be. Nothing crazy. Please,” he almost begged. 

She just nodded her head. No way she would be able to speak for the next couple of hours. 

And she didn't. Silently she helped Frank and Bill choose the suits and a dress for herself. Next she went to the garden and picked the vegetables for dinner that Bill was about to make. ‘Something special’, he assured her with a little smile, quickly disappearing in the kitchen. She picked up the meat from the shed and a few fruits for the dessert. If it was going to be Frank’s last day, it needed to be eventful and near perfect. 

“What’s he cookin’?” YN asked Frank, fidgeting with the dress. It was the first time wearing something like it since 2003. It felt foreign. She spoke for the first time since the morning. 

“Wouldn’t tell me but it’s not the time to eat, yet. I have a request.” 

“Well, anything you want.”

“I - We want you to officiate our marriage. I know it’s illegal and it doesn’t fucking matter in this world but - I’ve always wanted to get married. It was my dream from way back. Can you?” Frank squeezed YN’s hand, as hard as he could (she didn't feel anything, Frank being that weak).

“Okay.”

It was perfect. It couldn’t be more perfect. Bill and Frank all suited up set together near the piano with YN standing before them with a terrible (Bill said so himself with a laugh) speech prepared. Tears, happy tears streaming down her face with each word spilling out of her mouth. Her friends - her dads - were doing what society even it its lowest wouldn’t allow them to do. But in a true Bill and Frank’s way they say ‘fuck it’ and live the way they want it. Even if it's only for a day. 

“You may kiss the bri- fuck - groom. You may kiss the groom.”

“I can be a bride,” Frank giggled, softly pecking Bill’s lips. “Always wanted to know how it would be to have a wedding and the ‘you may kiss the bride’ moment. Not bad, not bad.”

“I’m considering divorce,” grumbled Bill, but smirking nonetheless. 

“I’m not officiating that. That’s for sure.” 

And somehow after having a laugh about it, the air around them got heavier, thicker. The realisation of what was about to happen in the next three or so hours consumed them. Mostly YN. Frank wanted it more than anything else. Bill, well Bill like always was an enigma. 

“Is this what you cooked for him the first time?” YN asked, while they were eating the delicious dinner that Bill prepared. 

“It is. My best pig for a stranger.” Bill shook his head. 

“Love of your life,” Frank corrected. “You knew it back then. I know it.”

Bill just smiled, he did know it. As much as they argued through all the years they’d been together Frank indeed was the love of his life. 

YN was watching them, a tiny smile adoring her face. She hated it. She hated this day. More than the one when Joel left her. More than the one when he stopped radioing back. More than the one when she understood he hadn’t really loved her. But if she couldn’t experience the love she’d been seeing in front of her for herself, she was glad she was able to see Bill and Frank do. 

Bill came into the room with two bottles of wine. 

“I saved the rest of the one we drank that day,” Bill announced. “You don’t mind I share it with Frank, and I’ll unscrew the one you like?” 

“Not at all. All yours. I’m not particularly happy about drinking a century year old opened wine.”

“Nothing for me to fear. And you, love, are going to have a nurse just for yourself.” Frank smiled. 

Bill poured the wine into the glasses, no emotion on his face. Two glasses of red and one of white which was immediately placed in front of YN. Sitting back, Bill took a long breath, shaking his head from left to right. He pulled out the bag full of crushed pills from his shirt’s pocket. Not giving them a second glance, he put them in one of the wine glasses. Stirred it with a teaspoon and slided towards Frank. 

“Will it be enough?” Frank whispered. 

“YN measured. Enough to do the job painlessly.”

“You’ll just fall asleep like any other night. Just - just a little bit quicker and -” YN breathed shakily. “For a bit longer.”

With two hands on the glass, Frank looked at Bill with sorrow. But his eyes, his eyes were saying ‘don’t you be sad, it’s all going to be okay. We’ll be together again.’ Then he swung the glass, and drank the drugged wine to the last drop. Bill was watching him with care, slightly absent. 

When Frank’s glass hit the table, Bill mimicked his husband. Look, swing, drink, put down. Done. 

‘He did it,’ thought YN, looking frantically between the two lovers. She shouldn’t have been surprised, Bill couldn’t live without Frank. 

“Were there already pills in the bottle?” asked Frank, ignoring YN’s sobs across from him, paying attention only to Bill. 

“Enough to kill a horse. I - I trebled the dose YN told me to use.” Bill pointed at YN, looking quite sorry for not telling her his plan. “This isn’t a tragic suicide at the end of the play. I’m old. I’m satisfied. And you,” his voice started breaking. “You were my purpose.”

“I do not support this,” Frank sighed, eyeing Bill and his vulnerable state. “I should be furious. But from an objective point of view-” he reached for Bill’s hand - “it’s incredibly romantic.” 

And they laughed. They laughed because they were going to leave this fucked up world on their own terms. No one was going to take that away from them. They spent amazing years with each other, they loved  and hated each other at the same time. They were family. And no one could change that. 

“YN,” Frank sighed, looking at the woman he thought of as his own daughter. “YN, please look at us.”

She lifted her head, tear-stained cheeks coming into the view, red puffy eyes and trembling bottom lip. How could it be that she was losing the last people she loved?

“I have one more request.” 

YN just nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak.

“Will you play for us? For the last time?”

“Anything you want.”

Slowly all of them moved to the other room when the piano stood. YN helped Bill sit Frank down on the couch, fixing up the cushions to make him comfortable. When Bill sat next to his husband, hand squeezing his, fulfilled smiles on their faces. 

“Love will abide,” she started, a teary voice sounding not as good as she wished for. “Take things in stride.”

Bill placed his head on Frank’s shoulder, earning a loving kiss there. It felt like a full circle moment. They came back to the place where they’d started. This room, a piano and the song. The melody of the instrument, delicate and yearning, flying in the air like feathers. YN’s words slowly fading in the void, filling the emptiness that looked to welcome them into. Each second passing, pushing them forward towards the little speckle of light, getting closer and closer. Her beautiful voice accompanying them till the moment it seemed to be miles away.

“And I think I’m gonna miss you, for a long, long time.” She finished singing, not being able to say the last lines. The piano notes getting more silent with the song coming to an end. “I love you, dads.” 

With that beautiful ending of the song, they exhaled silently. Their joined hands touched the light, making it surround them with a warm feeling. ‘So that's how it feels.’

Later that night, when she composed herself, YN found Bill’s letter. He asked her to bury their bodies together in front of the house ‘so we’ll be able to protect you’, with flower beds over them ‘no crosses, it’s not gonna be a damn graveyard.’ So she did as he asked, and then one more. ‘Call Joel. Take him or shoot him, I trust your judgement.’

And late that night, she played the 80s on the radio, hoping he’d come. Maybe hearing the song they loved could bring him back to her. Maybe he still cared. ‘He’ll come. He must have loved you once.’ 

She waited days. Weeks. And months. 

He didn’t come. 

“YN, I’m so-”

“Oh, no. You can’t be saying it, for fuck’s sake! Fuck you, Joel! Fuck you!” she screamed, pointing a warning finger at him. “You fucking don’t deserve to say those words. They mean nothing. Nothing! You hear me? There is nothing for you to say to me! Nothing to say, to do, not even to think! I don’t want you to even think about me, about them. You don’t deserve it.” She spat the last sentence, standing straight. 

“Listen to me, please.”

“Listen to you? Listen to you?” She repeated with a scoff. “Jesus fucking Christ! You’re unbelievable. You want me to listen to you? That’s rich coming from you, Joel. You left me here, promised to radio, visit, remember. You broke each of the promises you made. Each of them!”

“You don’t know it. I never stopped thinking of you. I could never-”

“Stop talking.”

“I could never forget you, YN.”

“Stop.”

“I made mistakes and I am sorry for them. But- but I could never forget you. Never.”

“Fucking stop!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. She had had enough. He couldn’t come back to her life and try to be in it like years ago. “How many times did I play 80s for you?”

“YN-”

“How many times?” she pressed, taking a few steps forward, standing right in front of Joel. He stayed quiet. “Four times. I played them four times!” She nudged his chest four times, pushing him back at the end. 

“Hey!” Ellie yelled, but got silenced by Joel’s hand going up in the way of saying ‘it’s okay, I can handle it.’ 

The anger suddenly left her, being replaced with anguish and grief.

“Two weeks after you left me. Raiders came. Bill got shot. I- I got shot. I thought I was going to die, I thought it was the end and the only thing in my mind was you. I could only think about your damn face,” she stressed, now petting his chest. “Remember what you said when you left?”

He did remember now. It was hounding him in his dreams. Over and over again. Each night waking up with the same word on the mouth: promise. 

“Why are you leaving? Frank said you can stay, there’s enough space for both of us. We can start fresh. Right here, Joel. New beginning,” YN whispered to her partner, shaking hands straightening his flannel shirt. 

“I can’t. I can’t live this life. Not yet at least. I’m not good enough for it.”

“Not good enough? Joel, my love,” she sighed, pecking his cheek. “We’ve changed since all of this happened. You did, I did. This is our chance to come back to some state of what was before. Don’t you want it?”

“It can’t be like before, don’t you understand? It can’t be.” He shook his head. “It’s not for me.”

“So, you’re breaking up with me?”

“No,” he protested immediately. “Absolutely not.” Joel put his hands on her cheek, looking into her eyes for the first time since starting this conversation. “You’re my light at the end. You’re my present and future, yeah? I care about you and I need you. I- I just can’t be the man you want. I can’t stay here pretending like the world didn’t go to shit. I can’t. Tommy needs me. I don’t belong to this life anymore.”

“It sounds like a goodbye,” she sobbed. 

“It’s not.” He brushed the tears away. “It's ‘see you later’, yeah? I ain’t leaving you for good. I’ll come back in no time to visit, I’ll radio you. I- I traded some things for a book with Billboard’s Number 1 hits or some shit. I’ll know everything you want to say. Do you believe me?”

She nodded her head. “I do.”

“I’ll be back. Promise.”

Promise.

Promise.

Promise. 

“‘I’ll be back. Promise.’ You repeated that five times to me. ‘It’s okay.’ ‘I’ll be back.’ ‘In no time.’ I shouldn’t have been surprised after all the lies you’d told me, should I? It was just another one and little, naive YN believed the man because she was so in love with him,” YN scoffed. “Frank played the 80s for a week, waiting for you to come back. They were sure I wasn’t gonna make it. I still don’t know why I did.”

“Can I say something now?”

She ignored his question, “then Frank got worse. I radioed you, needing more pills to ease the pain. He was suffering so badly.”

That month when Frank needed to live without any medication was probably the worst for anybody in a household. He screamed from the spasms that didn’t give him a moment to shut an eye. He gritted his teeth when YN tried to massage his sore back that was slowly unnaturally contorting. Days after days he became weaker, pain getting harder to deal with. It was the first time he asked YN to use something on him to end it permanently. She knew she couldn’t do it so she ran. She ran in search for any medication that she thought could help with the condition that was slowly developing. 

After three days of travelling she stumbled upon a little town - Hardwick - where people weren’t as nice as she had thought they’d be. She traded what she had left on herself - family necklace, last portion of food, her boots and much more that she made herself forget about. The most important was - she got the pills. 

Barefoot and almost frozen to death she came back home. She didn’t let Bill take care of her frostbites, wounds those people had caused or a gash on her thigh that was still bleeding. She needed to help Frank. She portioned the pills by milligrams she loosely counted based on his weight and moved it to the box labelled as ‘Frank’s drugs’. 

“It’s going to be okay,” she said through her teeth clanking against each other. “It’s going to help you, Frank. You’re going to be okay. I’m sorry it took me so long. I am so sorry,” she cried. 

They helped. Not immediately, but they did. Slowly Frank regained the better part of his strength back and accepted the fact that he was going to need a wheelchair. But YN. She never was the same after what happened in Hardwick. 

“I got the pills. I got them for -” she paused, remembering the scenes from the shed she was thrown into, the screams, pain and disgust of her own body, making her want to throw up. “Doesn’t matter how. For the whole week I wasn’t here, Bill was playing 80s on the radio. Over and over, waiting for you to come back. He was desperate. Bill never was the one to ask for help and when the one time he was ready to do it - he got stood up.” 

Joel felt the guilt. For years he’d felt it. Today, it was just unusually real. After all, the biggest mistake and regret of his life needed to catch up with him. Looking at her red face, tear-stained cheeks and hollow gaze, he deep down knew there was no going back, no chance of going back to how things were years ago. 

“I understand that my apology means nothing to you. I -”

“The third time,” she began another story, now sitting at the table. “I just missed you. It was your birthday, it was Sarah’s memorial and I- I really needed to know if you were okay. I feared you were taking those fucking pills and swallowing them with scotch. I feared you were going to try it again. I feared for your life. I feared you were leaving for good. I played Fade To Black knowing that if you were listening you would show up. It was yours - Sarah and your - favourite song, the only one you agreed on staying on the radio. So when after a few days you didn’t come, I knew you were gone. Gone from the life we once shared.”

“You’re spending awfully long hours next to the window, sweetheart,” said Frank one afternoon. 

“Huh?”

“And with a head above the clouds, dreamers.” He shook his head teasingly. “What’s bothering you?”

She sighed, “I radioed him. I know, I know, I shouldn’t have.”

“It’s not that you shouldn’t have. By doing so you’re just letting him break you more, hurting you.”

“You think he’s doing it on purpose?” YN wondered. 

“I don’t know.”

“He probably forgot, right? It’s been, what? Almost two years. He must have.”

“It’s not that easy to forget you, YN. I don’t think it’s even possible to do so.” Frank smiled, moving closer to her, clasping her hands in his and giving them a chaste kiss. “Impossible, really.”

“Then why?”

“I really don’t know. I wish I could tell you, I wish that I had an answer that would make you happy, that would give you some kind of a confirmation, an all clear. But I don’t have it. I just know that I appreciate you so much, and Bill and I love you. I know it’s not the same, but just know -” he squeezed her hands once more. “You are not alone.”

Placing her head on Frank’s hands, shaking with sobs, she tried to forget the man she loved. 

“And I wasn’t supposed to contact you ever again. But then Bill’s last wish was partially doing it. And I did. And here you are. But what’s the funniest is - you’re not here because you heard that something happened here. That something went wrong. That possibly the worst happened. No,” she sleered. “No, you’re here only because you need something. Not because you wanted to see me, to see what must have happened. You’re here for your own benefit. And somehow I am not surprised, you’ve always been selfish.”

It hurt. Each word spilling from her lips hurt Joel. But he deserved it. He knew he deserved more, still surprised he wasn’t lying in the puddle of his own blood after having been shot by her. 

Did he have something to make her understand his absence? No. Like she said, he was selfish. And he was a coward. A coward because he realised that he actually still was capable of that feeling that consumes you whole. The one that gives you those butterflies, he’d never understood but could feel now. The one that makes you forget your name while looking at someone, stumbling over words, gettin hot and bothered just because of their look. 

He was capable of love. 

And it terrified him. 

So when he realised it, he did what he was best at - he ran, hid and tried to forget. Forget about anything associated with YN. And everything reminded him of her. The pillow, the only mug in the apartment, the folded rug, the dirty socks under the bed, the little sketch of Sarah that was so accurate he felt her disappointed eyes judging him. YN was everywhere. And he hated and loved it at the same time. Because if he had left her, the only thing he could still have was the memory. 

“I love you, Joel. I know you can’t say it, it’s okay. I just need you to know it. I do love you.” She used to say every few weeks, reassuring him. Making him believe that she wasn’t playing. She was genuine. 

“I fucking love you.” Said every time he made her see the stars and feel the goosebumps cover her nude body.

“I missed you, I’m sorry. I love you. You’re home.” Said whenever he came back after a run from outside the QZ.

“I love you.” Whispered every night, when she thought he didn’t hear her. But he did, each time. 

“I love you,” he said for the first time since they’d met thirteen years ago. His voice, although weak, never sounded more confident. 

YN looked up from the table, studying his face for a moment. ‘How much you’ve changed’ she thought. The silver hair, now almost covering half of his gorgeous locks. Wrinkles that he sported from the moment they’d met, now deeper - worry always present on his face. His lips, oh those soft pink lips, now chapped. But his eyes. His eyes were the same. Those brown irises reminding her of a hot chocolate she used to drink every night for comfort. Eyes that told her more than his words ever could. Eyes that lied to her so many times. 

“And I loved you, too, Joel. I really did.”

[vole-mon-amour]

3x08, part 2.

The first thing I notice? Jamie. :) That boy can't sit straight or stand still. <3 (Also Jan, heh.) And Jamie's so fond of Henry. Surprisingly good with kids, yeah, and it's wonderful that Jamie pays him so much attention while being Henry's fav player.

All the boys are smiling and cheering for the kid, this so incredibly wholesome. Even the ones that aren't exactly participating are still smiling. I love this show, man. I rewatched this moment at least 7 times. I would like to be Henry in that moment, please.

I also can't get over the "I got that all covered" line and the cut to the boys just being boys and having the time of their life out on the pitch with Henry. Perfect training & Rebecca being more than ok with that. :') I need gifs of this. I need a cut of this scene only so I can have it on my blog with the boys cheering. I love EVERYTHING about this moment.

Yeah, I'm definitely still in love with her. Queen. Also, the line of this ep so far, "getting engaged".

I know there's no other way to say it, but when characters are on a first name basis with each other instead of their usual nicknames, you know something is up.

WHAT?! I'm not the one who's dating Jack, so: she can go fuck herself. I absolutely hate how toxic they make her and her relationship with Keeley, but I also can't ignore all of this. What. the actual. fuck?????

Either call Rebecca and meet her after or visit Rebecca at work. Because this??? Ughhh. Rebecca would never. Screw it, I'm back on my bullshit. Keeley and Rebecca should have been dating basically from the beginning.

Not in the way I expected, but the tongue returns. He's such a dork & I love him. :') The fact that none of the boys comment on his shenanigans bc they're so used to him just being This Way. <3

A Lynx dealer, I'm screaming. :D Though I'm very happy to see Jamie and Colin interacting. "Smart boy." My heart is soft for this friendship. I need this to be connected with Colin's sexuality and Jamie making a statement as bisexual. If not in the show (shame), then as fanfiction.

Also, the tattoo isn't there, I'm sad.

!!! I like how they keep mentioning how awful The Sun is. Like, it's a thing & everyone knows that & i appreciate them doing that since s1.

Colin, sweetie... I understand why he does that, but I wish he wouldn't and didn't.

My boy gets it. <3 Though the part of "that's why I delete all photos from my phone". Babe, all this stuff is probably connected to iCloud or Google Drive, which is... yeah. Won't help you much. Also, your videos are still somehow on twitter. :D

People said "let us see Jamie's legs" and the creators obliged. Isn't he cold though? C'mon.

Listen.... the path they walked since s1? I can't get over it. The growth!! The character development!!

Boys will be boys. :')

Jamie Tartt, an art and interior design lover.

The fact that that line is cut to Jamie and Roy's reactions. My heart. When you're two men that still love your ex. I am very deep in my feelings here. There is SO much happening here, my goodness.

Jamie watching Roy walking away after he heard about that, and both being deep in their thoughts. This drives me crazy tbh. And Jamie's reaction, his love for Keeley. I'm !!!!! :(((((

I'm sure Isaac is gonna make things right if needed to and he's gonna be very protective over Colin if exposed, but the anxiety in this is real for Colin. I totally get it.

[lunchtimebedamned1997]

Cosplay WIP and Doodle Dump >:3

Haven't really been working on a bunch of digital art lately bc I've been busy working on cosplays and crying over Stolitz XD

But I thought I'd show you all what I've been working on since I'm really excited about it! <3 (So many updates :D)

Let's start with Helluva doodles!

I finally started drawing Blitzø and Fizzy-Frog! <3 Fizzy looks so much healthier in the newst ep I could CRY ohhh my goddd. And both Fizz and Blitzø look so dapper! Little cuties! Little cuties who are friends again! My heart!

Next up: Cosplay props!

We've got a lot of stuff for the Vees, and then a liiiitle bit of Angel Dust progress to show y'all!

Let's start with Vox since I only have one main thing I've made so far!

I had an old pair of headphones that stopped working, and I'd already worn them to costest Vox (since I'm not going for the TV screen approach) and so I thought I could give them a makeover! I decided to do the symbols from his silly little hat, and paint the microphone tip to resemble the little red bauble at the end of his antenna!

I just sanded the labels off, painted everything in acrylic and then sealed it with clear nail polish, pretty simple stuff, but I'm really pleased with the effect! And I think it will be a nice touch for the costume! <3

Now onto Valentino! I have the most stuff for him so far bc everything that wretched man owns is cool AF and I wanted to make, like, all of it XD

I started with the guns from 1x02 ala: "Which of these makes me look sexier ;3" since I thought they were both pretty iconic and I definitely want to film that little clip once my cosplays are ready to go hehe

(My reference Image ^)

This pink one is definitely my favorite, both in the show and based on how it came out in the end! I've only ever built one propgun before this for Jinx, so it was really fun to get back to it again! Lots of math and measurements, but luckily I'm a little racoon creature who hordes recycling like my life depends on it XD Even though he actually bedazzles another gun in the meeting room in 1x02, I was not about to make a third one in the span of two weeks, so I decided to just put it on one side of the pink, and I really love it tbh!

The gold and grey definitely looks a bit more... cardboard-y, but I'm okay with it tbh, I don't love the design of this one as much, so I probably won't be using it on it's own as often as the pink! But I still think it turned out well overall! Especially bc by the time I got to this one my exacto-blade was crapping out on me hardcore lmao

I also have two hand options ready for Valentino! I noticed that sometimes he has gold claws, and sometimes his hands are fully black, so I thought it would be good to have a couple options!

I went ahead and ordered some pleather gloves which I think work really well for him on their own, but then I also took some fake nails and layered them with gold acrylic paints and clear nail polish to make his 'actual' hands. I figured if I need a particular close-up for a shot it would be really cool to use black facepaint on my skin, and then have these nails stuck on! I just used eyelash glue to test out affixing them last night, and I think it actually worked super well!

Since the nails are pretty, well, claw-like I don't want them on all the time, but I still need them to stay when I'm moving around in costume, and I think the eyelash glue is kind of the perfect things for my at-home cosplay needs! I'd definitely want to do something stronger if I was going to a con in these, but yeah - XD I'm rambling, anyways -

Let's move onto Velvette!

I had an extra set of gold nails I'd made, that I was originally planning on attaching to the gloves (I did not like how that looked lmao) but I didn't want them to go to waste, so I used some of the little gems and do-dads that I had laying around to make them match one of the bra-tops I'm planning to use for Velvette! (Yes that sparkly orange and pink thing on the left is what I tried to match it to!)

I have a plethora of blank fake nails now, so I think it would be really fun to make a pair that matches each of Vel's outfits! I hyper-fixated on nail art for a couple years when I was a kid, so I'm really excited to play with those skillz again lmao - especially because I can use acrylic paint for these instead of nail polish which really cuts down on cost and expands my color ranges exponentially!

The last thing I have to show you for the Vee's specifically is the wigs I ordered for them! (I want to scream, I'm so excited!!!!)

(All of these are from Wig Is Fashion btw, notspon or anything I just have really loved their wigs so far! I really hope these three work well!)

Finally, my gloves for Angel and a couple of my colored lights for filming came in, so I just threw on one of the outfits I have ready for him, the wig I styled, and the gloves to get a feel for how it was coming along :3

I think I want to get different little shorts for this look (maybe pleather?) and figure out a couple other details to add in, because I feel like there is currently too much 'blank' space in the look. I'm sure that will be lessened by the makeup, set, etc. But I want to make sure the extra looks I have for characters still feel 'designed'/styled well, obvi.

Anyways! Lots of work to do, and I still need to buy a new sewing machine so i can make some of the actual outfits from the show, but it's all a process lmao

I'm planning a full-on Angel CMV atm, as well as a ton of other videos, but that's all a ways away lmao, I wanna really put effort into it which means time haha

I did already post some little Cherri, Angel, Vox and Charlie closet-costests to my TT if y'all are interested! I've also made Millie and Blitzø horns, but tbh I just can't be assed to get pictures of all of that rn XD if you look at the most recent (as of rn lmao) 'cosplay updates' vid that's up, you can see the horns, wigs etc that I didn't show in this post!

My main links are all right here if you want 'em: https://lunchtimebedamned.carrd.co/

And with that I'm going to go have brain-off time LMAO I've been working non-stop for weeks on this. I'm also sorry to anyone waiting for the Ch.4 update on The Space Between Us, this chapter is deciding to be very slow-going and difficult. IRL stuff is probably heavily contributing to that, but oh well. Know that I am working on it <3

[roseprincessarts]

Final Fantasy VII: Ever Crisis The First Soldier Episode 2 Theory and Prediction Discussion

Good evening Final Fantasy VII peepsters!

Welp, it's November. Today we are going to be discussing what's been in my head while playing FFVII Ever Crisis. Before we get started, this is probably my first theory and prediction to ever discuss. I've probably seen other theories that relates to the episode 2 of First Soldier, so I decided to do this in my own thoughts and my own words, and could agree what other theories could be true or not true. It all takes some patience to find out what will happen in the future in First Soldier! So the topic tonight is going to be about Final Fantasy VII: Ever Crisis: The First Soldier Episode 2 Theory! (also made a presentation art for future discussions :) )

I was going to do this before and after Halloween, but hadn't got the chance to finish up so I feel like this will be rushed lol. I had a blast yesterday for Halloween, though!

Oh! Before I forget, I must warn to each and every one of the FFVII fans that have never played Ever Crisis, and/or did but hadn't gotten into the second episode of First Soldier, Crisis Core, FFVII, etc., just to warn y'all that this will contain spoilers! Read this at your own risk! Or have an experience on EP 2! So beware of ghosts of spoilers! Ooooooooooo~ 👻

*clears throat* Well, with no further ado, let's get on with the discussion!

Episode 2 of Final Fantasy VII: The First Soldier

I have indeed finished The First Soldier episode 1 just before starting the second one. It was just before Halloween started. I really enjoyed the first episode! Really shows the past of Sephiroth! Young Sephiroth looks handsome as when he was a grown handsome man as well hehehehe <3. I really liked how they did Sephiroth as some sort of a 14-year-old hero before his fall into a psycho villain. It also shows who he was before the Nibelheim mission, what he really thought of his friends, which would be Glenn, Matt and Lucia, and what he had wanted other than a hero, but a normal ordinary life as other kids unlike him had. This also shows how he ended up being Shinra's golden SOLDIER (why I called that because he was the first one to even have incredible powers). However, we get to see more as we dive into more of Sephiroth's past. Let's begin!

Sephiroth and Angeal First Meeting

In episode 2 of First Soldier, we see how Sephiroth and Angeal met.

Angeal Hewley was introduced in Crisis Core as a SOLDIER with honor, pride and the most respected member, gifted with the iconic Buster Sword in the FFVII series before the real thing as a symbol of his family's honor. He is also the mentor of another character that was also important to the series is Zack Fair, another SOLDIER member that dreams of becoming a hero like Sephiroth.

Until learning about who he really is, Angeal dreamed of becoming human due to the fact that Dr. Hollander was responsible for the Jenova Project, or rather Project G to make him a perfect monster, as Genesis was a failure at this point, as well as Angeal claiming he has created his very own suffering.

Now, in ep 2 of The First Soldier, a young Angeal plans to leave to Midgar to join SOLDIER to honor his family before his stepfather’s death. He was to dispatch to Robio in Wutai, and boom! Angeal meets Sephiroth for the first time. Sephiroth appears to be pissy, and Angeal tries to cheer him up and lighten him up. Angeal looked handsome as a young fella ^^.

I think Sephiroth and Angeal would be going separate ways. However, what I think would happen is that they would bond later on. Plus, they were friends along with Genesis in Crisis Core.

Masamune Origins

Wondering how Sephiroth got the most iconic sword in FFVII history, and how it became a main thing? Wondered how he got the Masamune? Look no further! As most of the players were playing through all the sections, we now see a new character in the game named Masamune, based on a sword of its namesake.

Now, Masamune appears to be swordsmith of Robio, and he had the katana by his name. What my prediction or theory may be is there could be the possibility of Sephiroth obtaining the iconic Masamune in future chapters. Plus, Sephiroth's Nameless being sliced in half, I would how the aftermath might be ^^;

Well, this is going to be interesting and I'm actually looking forward to how Sephiroth obtains the Masamune from… well, Masamune (character) is going to go. Dark, climaxing, we won't know until future chapters!

Now, about the character Masamune of what I first saw him, he almost reminds me of the actor Christopher Lee lol. Also, I wondered how Sephiroth and Masamune would communicate or how they would have a bond, friendship, or even become enemies. We'll have to see on that one. This will become interesting to see!

Bachman

Bachman, or is another character that appears as a journalist for Shinra as he records Sephiroth and Angeal in action to have a detailed report.

I'd say he could be a documentary guy or something like that!

Well, to be honest, I am not sure if I have an interest about Bachman, but I'll have to see for myself what he could possibly do in future chapters. I thought he was just a minor character, but he could be important. We'll just have to sit back for more of his development as well.

Alissa Goldie

Hey, look! Another female character! Another feminine SOLDIER! Wow! Interesting!

*coughs*

Whoops. Gotten carried away there, am I not? Ahem… where was I? Ah, yes! Alissa Goldie, indeed!

Next subject to discuss in this FFVII theory is Alissa Goldie (it's a pretty name for her btw ^^).

Alissa Goldie is another female 2nd class SOLDIER appearing in this episode of First Soldier. She appeared as another missing SOLDIER I believe until found before Sephiroth and Angela's encounter with Masamune as some sort of upbeat kind of person, until she sassed Sephiroth for staring at her after meeting or seeing her.

Now, some people may be in shock when they see Alissa at first. Her character development intends to look identical to Sephiroth's birth mother Lucrecia.

Oh boy! This is going to be nerve wrecking, but here are the list of predictions of what I think will be happening with Alissa and Sephiroth.

Prediction 1: Prediction number 1 of what I am about to say is later on, I believe that what will happen in this episode 2 if that Alissa Goldie will turn out to be either an antagonist, maybe villain and/or a Jenova clone that will trigger Sephiroth’s mental disturbance. Well, we probably have seen clones in the FFVII original story. We'll probably find about this kind of prediction for Alissa’s character development

Prediction 2: This option of the prediction will indicate what I might also think if Alissa will be Lucrecia in disguise. Lucrecia is Sephiroth’s birth mother, as Hojo gives him the photo of her in episode 1 of TFS and claims her name is Jenova, who is actually a calamity from space that tried to destroy the planet but was pulled out of the 2000-year-old rock layer and experimented and was kept enclosed in the Nibel Reactor. We all have seen the Nibelheim Incident, presenting Sephiroth’s descent to madness and his death after his massacre in the village, when Cloud starts to be a real deal for the FFVII series, and Zack as well. In this prediction for First Soldier, I believe Alissa could be Lucrecia in actual see her son in person after what Hojo had done to him, and her. He does dream about his mother after couple of chapters, which warms my heart to see the moment is real mother and son ❤️

Prediction 3: This is probably the weirdest, obscure or awkward prediction, but could be shocking. This would have the Sephiroth fans to freak out over this, but in the third prediction, Alissa could be whether just an ordinary girl and/or to be (here I go) Sephiroth's love interest. Yes, awkward. However, Sephiroth is flustered by Alissa's facial identity to look like his mother. She also tells Angeal the world will change if Sephiroth continues to use his sword. This is the prediction I doubt that would happen. I could be wrong, but this has been in my head that I LITERALLY had been bragging to myself about. Spehiroth’s canon love interest? This would freak the Sephiroth fans out. Even me. Now, my apologies if it does freak you out, but it would be doubtful if Alissa could be a canon Sephiroth's love interest. I was hoping for prediction 2, but we'll sure better get some really good sleep with patience for future chapters to hope if either of the theories are true. This isn't to intend to freak those fans out on purpose. Just to explain which prediction could be true or not.

And that's it for tonight. Well, I hope you enjoy my theory, and this is my first time, so my apologies for the messy typo or not much ha ha ha!

Let's sit back and wait for future chapters to witness more of the story of Sephiroth, and Angeal as well! This could give me some ideas how my CC fanfic is going to go. Better get started (to myself) with it! I can do another discussion that relates to this if there's a new chapter coming. Plus, I'm getting better with catching up with Ever Crisis now! I do plan to do as much as possible so I can catch up to the stories! I was going to add more, but I might do another theory since I don't have time now. Plus, don't want it to make it too long anyway lol. I'll do more theory details later on!

And it's getting late so I hope you enjoy and have a good night! And now I need some sleep before turning into a zombie!

Have a wonderful day, my lovely rose petals!

RosePrincessArts, signing off! Good night!

Art ©RosePrincessArts (Used from Sketchbook app from iPad)

Final Fantasy VII, Ever Crisis, Crisis Core, The First Soldier and Characters belongs to Tetsuya Nomura and SQUARE ENIX

[invisiblegarters]

The Heart Killers Ep 3

I won't lie, I was planning to approach this episode with a lot of trepidation (and the tags with even more than that if what I thought was gonna happen happened, if I'm honest). but a soul who is far kinder than I think I would be eased my mind on the first thing. The second I'm still nervy about but well. I want gifs so I'll have to brave it at some point I'm sure.

But before that, let's get into this episode with bells on baby. Give me Fadel's tragic backstory and give it to me now.

Previously: Style was annoying af but also hot and we learned Fadel is not immune to that. Bison and Kant played more games and I was floored by how ruthless Kant actually was (and I haven't seen anything yet whee).

Now: Well we know this woman is evil because she's dressed in all red.

HI PEPPER. HI JJ I didn't know you were in this.

Oh she's really good at that dead eyed I will end your life stare. Good for her.

GIVE ONE OF THE Js A BL ALREADY.

Yeah you know what lady I don't believe you. Bison you little dumbass Fadel told you he'd ask. JFC kid.

Bison is literally the only one in that room who doesn't get that this woman is kind of the devil isn't he? How sheltered has Fadel kept him really? I do love a devious, evil woman though.

PFFFT Style babe please don't talk about who is the type to listen to heavy metal wearing that shirt.

"I can have a good time all by myself" Yeeeah you can.

Fadel if you actually follow him I will lose all hope for you.

One thing I will say, I think Style definitely is one of those people who can make himself fit in anywhere by sheer will.

There was a whole moment there when Fadel absolutely thought about choking him again lol but I don't think it was in the fun way that Style was looking for.

Wel that pool conversation was interesting. Both of them lying their asses off. And Bison absolutely did follow him there I'd bet money on it. I still don't think he really gets what's going on (or at least I hope not), but that meeting was too coincidental to be coincidental. Bison literally showed up to deliver that little warning and bounce. I really don't love the idea that he's hip to what Kant's pulling yet - it annoys me in a very specific way that all "oh this character is so smart and plays 4D chess in his sleep" stuff annoys me, but also, I just like it better if he starts falling before he really starts to wonder if Kant might be on to something. That he's going to choose to ignore the signs at some point feels like a given right now, but personally I'd prefer Bison a little naive for a bit (and it would fit with what happened earlier in the ep with Mother Lilly).

Then again, if Kant insists on meeting his Captain friend literally five seconds after chatting with Bison maybe he deserves Bison knowing the entire time. JFC dude this is almost as bad as you meeting the dude you paid to get a bowling ball dropped on his foot in a parking structure two seconds after Bison leaves your sight.

Can no one do these things right.

Oh Captain Christ followed him too. Man Kant is popular today.

Captain Christ doesn't give two shits if Style gets himself hurt lol he's only asking because he wants to know how much damage control he might have to do later. People keep talking about how Kant siccing Style on a literal murderer is wild and it totally is, but I do think that it is also a case of what Style doesn't know can't get him killed. I really don't think Kant wants or expects anything to actually happen, he just wants Style to distract Fadel for a bit so he can work on Bison. Hard to get in already, even harder with a scowling big brother dogging your every single move.

So Captain Christ and Kant have totally banged, yes? Bet it was really good but Kant felt a little (or a lot) dirty about it after (still went back for seconds though).

The way that Fadel isn't even trying to drive Style off anymore is kind of hilarious.

"You're not my type" says yet another liar.

So Style absolutely knows that Fadel wants to bang him like a screen door right? Yes, yes he does and he's gonna poke at it until Fadel explodes from frustration. He is so ridiculous.

Put the grandma glasses on Kant. Put them on.

He's not gonna put them on is he? All my dreams are now dust. Jojo you're on notice.

Hm. I'm going to have to think some about this before I really talk about it. All I'll say is Kant you fucking dumbass this is not the kind of thing you do when YOU don't trust someone 100% and I know you don't you loser.

Fadel babe Style is not gonna guess you're an assassin and even if he does it won't be seriously calm down.

OH MY GOD KANT STOP YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOUR GLASSES THEY'RE JUDGING YOU ALMOST AS HARD AS I AM.

Lol okay I know this is an unserious show but if one more person does some sort of shady shit right out in the open I'm gonna lose it.

And here it is. The tragic backstory, delivered by a smirking Pepper. Pepper I hate your bangs but I am kinda getting a kick out of how much enjoyment you're getting out of rubbing Fadel's mistakes in his face.

Or well. "Mistakes," I'm sure.

Oh no please not back to these two dumbasses I can't.

Bison baby he doesn't even know what a safe word is (unless he's putting that on so that he can make Bison explain it to him but I dunno he does seem to not get it) please put an end to this farce.

(spoiler: he is absolutely not going to put an end to this farce)

Here's the thing though. I don't actually think that Kant would hate this if it really were coming about organically? But one, right now it's a job that he's getting through, not something he actively wants. And two, he does not trust this man. Right now Kant is sailing through this with sheer balls and not much else. And it kind of makes me wince a little when we have Bison trying so hard to make sure it's consensual and that Kant's not pushing himself.

Hahaha now they aren't even safe from Fadel in Kant's tattoo parlor why is this so funny to me that man is everywhere. He sewed a tracker into the hems of Bison's pants didn't he.

Lie better Bison.

"Gimme a sec Bison I've gotta threaten your not boyfriend again I don't think he heard me the first time."

Kant is such a shit I swear.

Oh Fadel. I just love him so much.

Well Bison called this one. Good for him. Dark and brooding indeed.

Oh this should be fun. I would have thought that -

*Joong starts dancing, head empties*

Style: oh, he's hot.

Buddy where have you been.

Also ah, so Bison's drugging the secretary's drink then. Interesting tactic, that (but also low key cackling because well I know what's coming).

Style babe I like the way you think.

Hahaha of course he learned it from Magic Mike Jojo I love you you're back off notice for the glasses.

Actually though this is kind of perfect because to Style it would explain everything if Fadel just leaned into the host thing. Except he might want to show up again and that could turn into a problem. Oh no is Style actually trying to be helpful? Every time he stops being deliberately obnoxious it's pretty much always to be randomly earnest in a disarming sort of way, isn't it? And usually it's when he's trying to help someone, be it doing Kant a solid by telling Bison how down bad for him he is, helping out at the restaurant simply because they're busy and he's there, or offering to find a way to help Fadel out with his financial troubles (that he definitely does not have lol).

And now Fadel is going to kick all of these dude's asses.

What is with all the mouth close ups.

I don't believe for a second that Style didn't believe that Fadel was a host because he needed money. Style I'm liking you a lot right now and I don't think you're dumb but I do think you believe people when they tell you things...until they give you a reason not to, that is. Such as beating the everloving shit out of three dudes without breaking a sweat.

I say again, Kant is such a shit. Like he knows Fadel can kill him, he was genuinely worried he was gonna do something to him earlier, and he's still acting like a bit of a dick to the man's face. I swear, this dude is either great at compartmentalization or he has a death wish.

Or both.

You know, I'm gonna miss the running gag of Fadel interrupting these two every time they start to have a moment.

Oh no I am way too invested in Fadel because all I needed was the tiniest little flash of him being so happy with his past lover and I got all teary.

YES he's scared he doesn't TRUST you and he doesn't actually LIKE anything you've done so far.

Style. Style. Style what are you doing Style.

Jfc dude is nothing sacred.

Although to be fair, I don't think he knew what it was a support group for. But still, good god. Maybe back away graciously when you realize what you've walked into? Maybe? Don't' invent a dead dog story and fake sob about it these people are grieving holy shit Style.

Okay that bartender sucks what. Why would you make those drinks.

Oh look more drugs they really are made for each other.

Ha. You can just tell that Fadel thinks fucking Style is gonna get him out of his system. Ever look at a man and think wow honey you are so wrong that it's both hilarious and a little sad? Yeah.

Pffft Style that confidence is gonna get you in trouble.

And you know what? I'm not even mad about it. Play stupid games get a fist to the stomach and a knee to the groin.

Actually Bison has it better than the secretary at least he's not vomiting all over the place.

Oh Kant I see you. And so do the cameras.

Kant give him five minutes before you go snooping jesus.

...you know what I just realized. Bison's "prize" for winning the bet still assumed that Kant would be coming home with him. So there's that. But of course Kant would have still had to drug him because he doesn't want to go home with Bison for sex (kinky or otherwise). He wants to go home with Bison to get his snoop on.

The way that Bison pulled out those ropes was very funny, and when I paused it to laugh I got the best reaction face from Kant:

this is the face of a man who did not properly think this through. Dying. The question is though was Bison too drunk to clock it? Although...hm. Would it matter if he had? Maybe more on that later.

The music is hilarious what even.

"I have been waiting to have fun like this with someone for so long," he says. Yes honey we know you literally have your bed prepped for it even though you just said you've never taken anyone home (and unlike some of the other shit that comes out of his mouth, this I believe. Mostly because Fadel would do a murder).

Why is this cracking me up is it supposed to? It's First's fault entirely.

Because this is what Kant's mouth is saying: "I'm Kant. I'm a tattoo artist who loves adorable guys." What his eyeballs are saying is "I'm a fucking moron who is gonna get whipped to within an inch of his life and have to ask for more," and it shouldn't be funny, the underpinnings of why this is happening are absolutely NOT funny, but the music and the faces are taking it there. I'm kinda grateful tbh because it could have gone really dark instead and I kinda love this dark comedy tone the show has going on let's not ruin it.

Well Kant you said you liked being slapped.

He was totally enjoying himself at the end there. Getting into it big time. See the thing with him is he strikes me as the kind of guy who actually wouldn't mind trying something like this out in a normal setting, and he might even like it, but the problem here is that he doesn't feel like he's allowed to say where his limits are because due to what he has to do for Captain Christ, his limits have to go as far as Bison's. Even if he's not comfortable with it. And his limits might even be as far as Bison's! It just doesn't matter.

Add that to the fact that he knows damn good and well that the dude squirming in his lap and getting off on hurting him a little could easily kill him. Has killed. Will probably kill again while he takes his sweet ass time investigating. So he's unable to have real limits while dealing with a man he doesn't actually trust who could very well kill him if he slips up.

Fun.

...okay but did Fadel kill his ex lover because his mom told him he was a traitor or was working against them? That's how I'd write it but also I like angst and drama way way way too much.

This episode had a lot, and I have a lot of thoughts. and I don't now how coherent I will be in them but here we go I guess.

I like that everyone kind of sucks - I was worried that we'd have a situation where at least one of these guys is an innocent baby but we're not getting that at all. Even Style, arguably the most innocent of them all, is a jerk. This is fine and honestly kind of exactly what I want from this show. I'm invested in no one save Fadel but that makes it a lot easier to just enjoy what I'm getting.

Kant continues to fascinate me. I'm still so wary of what will happen to his character but man, right now I'm loving how ruthless he's being. I know I keep saying that but I don't even care this guy is a dick.

But also, this isn't his first rodeo, is it? While I'm utterly certain he's expendable to Captain Christ he's used him for dangerous jobs before and if all goes well here will probably continue to do so in future.

I really can't wait to see how he falls into his own trap. Just please bl jesus let him stay competent and ruthless. He can turn that ruthlessness in another direction, you know, he doesn't have to lose it just because he falls in love.

This was the first episode where I looked at Bison and went, "oh honey," which I was surprised by. It wasn't the drugging and it wasn't the tattoo shop stuff or even the stuff after the bar. Nope. What got me was his delighted little smile when Kant said he was helping him clean around the restaurant to prove himself to Fadel. That was the first time I looked at him and thought "oh this really is gonna hurt."

I truly don't know if I buy that he's actually given Kant his heart next ep - as I already said this was also the first ep that he did something that had my eyebrows going up a little so I'm side eyeing him a little right now - but he's definitely in this a little too deep. How could he help it though, when Kant's there working so hard at every turn to please him and trying to prove himself to his big brother and is even game to try this new kinky thing that is actually pretty important to him? And here is why I think that even if Bison clocked that Kant's apprehensive at best about this pain stuff, it might actually work in Kant's favor.

Because as far as we know, Bison doesn't know that Kant is basically being coerced into this whether he likes it or not, all it looks like from someone on the outside is him trying to please Bison. That's heady stuff, especially for someone who likes being in control as much as Bison does.

And I'm really starting to think that Fadel has kept Bison from knowing a LOT. Because some of the stuff he said with Mother Lilly was just jarring. I'd understand it if she coddled him but she doesn't, not really. And yet he's the only one who doesn't seem to understand to tread carefully with her. It's weird.

Which brings me to Fadel, literally the only character that I am emotionally invested in and who I am just so in love with I can barely handle it. Honestly though this tracks for me, since Kat was the only character I really cared about in 10 Things.

Joong is just playing him so well, he's killing me a little bit. He plays so stern but oh, there are already cracks aren't there. Mostly with Bison - it was only a matter of time before he cracked and let him have what he wanted, not because of Style but because he does want Bison to be happy, and as much has he chides him for being naive and trusting he has clearly worked hard to make it so that Bison can be that way. In spite of everything.

And this lover he used to have that he was going to leave everything for. I'm assuming he's dead or that he were disappeared by Mother Lilly, and there are different ways they could play this but my two favorites are as follows:

Mother Lilly lied about BF being some sort of traitor after either disposing of him herself OR she made Fadel do it/Fadel was so mad he went and did it himself.

He was actively working for someone, either a rival or even the police, and Fadel found out and disappeared him / told Mother Lilly and let her handle it. Or Mother Lilly was the one who told him.

Mother Lilly discovering (or "discovering") that BF was set to betray Fadel would go a long way towards explaining his devotion to the job and his unwillingness to go against her - he might not like it himself but maybe he feels like he owes her?

Also, number 2 would fit in with 10 Things and the Joey plot - Fadel warning Bison about Kant because he has been there before but also not telling Bison the real reason why and Bison just thinking he's being a paranoid weirdo. It wouldn't be a perfect 1:1 because Bianca was over Joey pretty fast lol but it'd be close enough, plus I kind of love that kind of parallel (except I guess in Bison's case loverboy accidentally does the job so well he actually falls in love. Also no killing of the Kant Bison he's too pretty to die).

Maybe we'll get fed a little more info next week, eh?

[becauseimanicequeen]

Rewatching Pit Babe (ep. 6-7) and the Colors

This is part of my Crazy-Ass End-of-Year Rewatch Challenge where I will rewatch some of my favorite shows, my least-favorite shows, and some shows in between.

I can't promise cohesive thoughts in these posts because it's the end of the year, I'm currently living in right-brain land 10+ hours per day, and I'm TIRED because the darkness of winter is coming. You've been warned.

My previous post: episodes 1-2, episode 3, episodes 4-5.

Also, since this is a rewatch, there are spoilers ahead.

Episode 6

We start this episode where we left off in the previous one, which means that Charlie still has that red detail on his racing overalls:

We've seen it before. But we've also seen him being loyal to Babe.

But, this bitch, though, with that red seat and line of the steering wheel:

He's switching sides faster than he can drive.

And when Dean chooses to accuse Alan of not valuing him after choosing Charlie to replace Babe in the team, Alan gets the most angry we've seen him so far:

This is the first time I've seen red on this man, but it's justified. Dean is being a spoiled brat and it will drive him to make idiot decisions.

Btw, is that red I see on Way's lighter?

The red on him is sneaky, but it is there.

Also, look at these moody brooders in black:

I wonder what a situationship or romantic relationship between these two would have been like. No, let's not go there.

Let's move on to Jeff instead. Here he is at the café and my hyper brain is wondering what the fuck to focus on:

The red title on the book/magazine and the red on his bag tattling about his past? The blue clothes that say something about his current loyalty? The yellow-ish/orange-ish cake that seems to follow him around (the color, not the cake, lol)? The pink drink and the pink light outside? And does that equal Alan's feelings in his attempt to get Jeff back with his Love Actually flashcard apology?

Anyway, they should just stop being idiots and hook up already! (I know they won't for a while longer, but can't a girl dream that the rewatch will be different? LOL!)

Also, I will defend Charlie until the end. I did it over on Twitter when the show was airing (before I had this tumblr) and I will do it now. But I have to admit that it's kind of annoying seeing that red follow him around!

Because all I see is Mr. Red's presence, and I don't like him.

And even though there's red in purple, look at that pretty purple-ish sky:

These boys are in love. Even Charlie, who is being secretive, came to X-Hunter to protect Babe because he thought that was the right thing to do. Isn't that a trait of a blue character through and through, though? Noble tendencies.

Either way, I love how the red and blue light appears in the frame when they're at Babe's special place and he asks Charlie to be his boyfriend.

And the way I fucking cackle every time Charlie brings up the whole children and Papa/Mama conversation.

(I needed a good laugh, so I watched that scene three times, lol.)

But, Sonic (even though he has some blue on the shirt under his jacket), what is up with the yellow?

No wonder Dean gets pissed.

The colors are all over the fucking place with these two!

And I'm saying this as a visual artist who reinvents myself ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME. It's a pain for my loved ones, and I feel sorry for them. So, this is my official apology to all the Deans in my life. I understand your pain. (But the only thing I won't change is how much I change.)

Anyway, moving on...

Babe comes out of the bar/diner with the blue light behind him.

And meets Jeff who has both the red on his bag and shirt mixed with the blue. After Babe apologizes for the behavior he displayed before he knew Charlie and Jeff were brothers, Jeff uses his power on Babe and freaks out.

His and Charlie's plan is about to take a sharp turn.

And, so is Babe and Charlie's relationship (very soon, at least) since the red is the big secret between them that will get exposed.

Unfortunately for Way, he's going to see exactly how upset Babe will get when Babe finds out about Charlie's red past.

It won't matter that he's crying in the blue...

Because Way has had a red past all along...

Babe will feel more betrayed by Way keeping his red past from him than he ever was for Charlie doing the same thing...

And, that's the end of the 6th episode. Let's move on to the next!

Episode 7

On the subject of Way and the red. I can't believe Babe accepted Way's red-flag tendencies...

Good friends don't make you feel that way, Babe.

Instead of crying in the blue at the end of the previous episode, Way is better off focusing on the man who doesn't care about his red past.

Mainly because Pete knows exactly who Way is and accepts him for who he is (red past and all). And because Pete has a red past of his own.

Even though he could hide that red strap of his watch under his blue jacket. What a sneaky (but pretty) man he is.

Anyway, let's move on to the truth about Charlie's past coming out. You know what I love about this, though? Charlie is sitting there in blue.

He's being loyal to Babe and X-Hunter right in front of Tony, who is finally drinking something red again (that greedy green was getting boring, lol).

And even though Babe is livid, which he has every right to be...

Charlie is loyal to Babe. He fucking showed up in front of his psycho adoptive father and flashed his loyalty left right and center.

He's even confronted in a blue room. But Babe is too angry to see the loyalty (understandable). Instead, he runs to Way who is keeping his own secrets about his affiliations with Tony.

But Charlie is persistent enough to seek Babe out and tell him the truth. And luckily for Charlie, Babe chooses to see Charlie's loyalty to him rather than the past connection with Tony.

Too bad for Way, though, who thought he and Babe were having dinner that night to celebrate that Babe was single again. But, showing up with a bouquet of red flowers tied together with a red ribbon...

I'm sorry, honey, but I can't see that as a gesture of love (usually associated with red). All I see are secrets, Tony, and Red Racing.

Bad choice of color, Way.

So, excuse Babe for standing you up.

He's busy riding Papa with that purple light shining in the background.

Babe is gone and won't go back. His purple phone says so.

But Sonic... What's with that fucking red?!

He is giving me a migraine!

That's the end of this episode, and my image limit. So, let's move on to another post!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Must you, Japan? has become Thank You, Japan

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

BL OLYMPICS! Week 3

This is my last week of passing out metals in various sporting events, as part of the weekly updates.

Aug 2024 Week 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Century of Love (Weds Gaga) eps 9-10fin - There were a lot more unnecessary dramatic speeches than there was practical medical aid being administered. Very extra, boys. I wonder how long it took them to get that "birds meet hug" shot? Meanwhile, great grandpa‘s attitude that he knows best in every way is thoroughly annoying, and yet absolutely appropriate to his age. My great gramps (RIP), had he had the body of a 20-year-old, would behave in exactly the same self-righteous know-it-all way. The doctor is great. I would like him to get his own romance please? What happens when you are the villain in someone else's reincarnation story? There's a whole fanfic there. And yes I cried. I am a sap for this kinda thing.

Final thoughts:

This is a great little show about a young man who fell in love with a pretty girl 100 years ago, and when she died in his arms, he was cursed to live until he could meet her reborn self. Only this time around, she’s reborn into the body of a man. I love it when Thailand gets all up in its own historical business and reincarnation and shizz. I like this pair (it’s not DaouOffroad’s fault I didn’t enjoy most of their first series.) Daou’s wushu is pretty snazzy and we got a fun meet cute. (Erm... Remeet cute? Meet cute 2.0?) Plus this is a very PRETTY show. Despite some ham handed comedy moments, this ultimately has more in common with something like I Feel You Linger in the Air meets First Love Again, then (as one might expect) Until We Meet Again or The Director Who Buys Me Dinner. The leads turned in great performances, although Daou outclassed everybody else on that screen. It’s a good story and a great BL. I’m not sure this is going in my rewatch rotation, but I can’t find any major faults with it beyond a certain level of camp that is sadly endemic to lackorns. Also I’m going to give it credit as the kind of BL that one could safely recommend to lovers of melodrama and historical romance, without having to qualify it as “good for a BL.” It was, to put it succinctly, simply a VERY ENJOYABLE show. 

Under those auspices I really can’t give it anything less than a 9/10. 

Bronze in Fencing

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 10 of 12 - It’s cute. They were cute. I enjoyed it a lot. I talk quite a bit about why they're using nai as a you pronoun here:

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 6 of 8 - Honestly the side couple is truly stellar in this show. I wasn’t sure about them at first but now I absolutely love them. Not sure how they are going to resolve such intense dislike (from JJ) by the end of the series. But I’m interested to see them try.

Meanwhile, there isn’t anything else airing right now that makes me laugh as much as the behind-the-scenes from this show. Highly recommended.

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 1-2 of 12 - Oh it is so much fun. I’m particularly delighted that our musician is a drummer and I don’t have to listen to him sing... I hope. I’ve been waiting for Big to lead a BL forever. I’m disposed to enjoy this. We can all be confident in one thing, the kisses are going to be great. I like the side couple too, very indulgent daddy. While I am disturbed by the tortoise in the tiny tank, I love the extrovert friendship group. They remind me of my own college crew. It is a cute premise, but I will need them to actually be together in the same room, looking longingly at each other a smooching within the next couple of episodes.

YouTube served me both episodes 1 & 2, and I don’t think it was meant to. So this may be next week's review as well.

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 6 of 12 - I wasn’t wild about this ep or where this show is going. But I enjoyed the language play. 

Gold in Linguistic Gymnastics

(my new favorite sport)

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - Wow. Sam admitted it just out loud like that! Right after a betrayal? Balls on that boy. Worked on Yo tho. Too well, actually. I wish Yo had made him suffer and dragged him over the coals for a while. But I guess Yo really really likes him back. Meanwhile, the GL side plot also moved quite rapidly. A lot happened in this episode.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 4 of 12 - Them ALL jumping into the water was totally ridiculous. It’s still a little slow, because it is a pulp, but I’m rather enjoying it.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 12fin - Almond and Latte were cute. The breakfast with the four of them was funny. I did laugh a lot. Almond getting "first time" advice from his two resident gay dads (or at least trying to) was super sweet. Also I got a lot of smiley kisses. Nice final ep.

Ultimately how do I feel about this show?

A story about 4 boys of differing personalities who end up living together and pair up, falling in love. Slow moving and waffling, with some artificially generated family drama makes this a classic Thai pulp except that in general it's a smiley kiss of a show. It had plenty of good qualities like great communication and sexual rep (including toys, first time, safe sex, and sexual identities). The heat levels were on point and well executed, and the performances were good. It’s just that the script and the directing were lackluster, rendering it ultimately forgettable. Still, fine on a rainy afternoon with some camomile tea or whatever. 7/10 

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 9 of 10 - I’m getting some sort of PTSD from this show, It is making me feel like I’m the problem. Trash watch

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) eps 1-2 of 8 - Anyone surprised by this jump in the standings? Yeah, probubly not. Anygay... this show is GREAT. Warped af but great. Lemme try to explain.

I actually said out loud during ep 1, "Well this is boundary pushing." By which I mean mine and everybody elses. But it’s Japan, *checks watch* it’s about time they turned out something edging into unpalatable and kinky. And because it’s Japan, I’m more forgiving than I would be were this show nested in the clumsy hands of say... Thailand. So actually this being me, and me being of questionable taste, I’m enjoying this show a lot.

You want me to list the ways? Sure.

Younger seme with grabby hands.

The younger one identified the elder gay as his personal property and it’s now: single motivation, on target, against all odds.

Uke cares about his work and not much else.

Seme cares about the uke and not much else.

Uke is gonna make this boy WORK for it.

That one particularly Japanese style of obsession that I actually adore.

Passes the sniff test!

I’m being reminded of that KBL Love Mate. Which I believe I enjoyed but no one else did. For exactly this set of tropes. Only Japan is better suited to handle them. For me this is a case of:

Must you,Japan? = Oh yes? Well, thank you very much, Japan.  

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 8 of 10 - enter the evil girl character. Yawn.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - It is what it is. 

It's airing but...

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 2 of 12 - I did not catch ep 2 before they took it down from USA YT. I don’t know why it’s down. Either they got a deal for distribution off YouTube or there’s some sort of scandal. Frankly, I wasn't particularly impressed with ep 1 so I’m not rabid to find wherever it’s gone or why. Still, perhaps someone will let us know the sitch in a comment? It's a me problem. I'm figuring it out.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun ????) 10 eps - OMG a uni student who looks too young and a... COP. GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. Why can't I find it? Do I have to go grey?

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) - A rich boy at uni suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I have a source, but I've decided to hold off and binge if it ends okay, since it's only 8 eps. I depend upon y'all to tell me if it's safe.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - it's your funeral (or, more likely, one of the main characters'). You can argue but... statistics. You know my feelings on this matter. MY BLOG, remember?

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!! (Yeah this is gonna sit here until then)

Next Week Looks Like This:

Ooo, nice spread.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming This Month!

8/12 First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) 12 eps - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan stars Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn tean. I can't wait. With thier powers combined!

8/13 Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues YT) 10 eps - supposedly Jinlo with air this on their YT channel. Stars August (Love Sick) so I'm excited despite Jinlo's poor reputation. From the trailer it looks like it's following the original pretty closely... just Thai style. GIMMEEEEE!!!!

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something.

8/22 The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) 12 eps - announced in 2023 this one has a high school set stepbrothers trope and is reputed to be high heat. From Taiwan! It's made for me. Based on a novel Mou Mou from the Your Name Engraved Herein folks, so it could go dark. Still, I'm very excited.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Linguistic flirting trope! One of my all time favorites. FANTASTIC. (I did keep hearing Gun yelling Papiiiiiii! in my head tho.)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

[stars-n-spice]

THOUGHTS ON S3 EP 04:

Spoilers under the cut!

Cannot promise that these thoughts are coherent/in order of the episode and its happenings-

Cannot get ENOUGH of the Crosshair and Omega dynamic; it's so sweet and fucking hilarious - they are so siblings

When the Captain guy called Cross her dad :(

Also Crosshair is a fucking natural at looking out after Omega (which shouldn't be surprising, he's a clone so he's got the paternal gene Jango seemed to pass down to all of them)

Couldn't get enough of Crosshair in this episode though

87% of this episode is just Crosshair folding his arms and that took me out

Also tell me why even with that toilet seat looking aaa Crosshair still looked fucking good in that disguise? Like,, I was giggling and twirling my hair every time he was on screen then came to the realization okay maybe I have a mask kink

Have I mentioned how much I love Omega and Crosshair?

Also have I mentioned how much I hate Hemlock??

Fuck when the Captain figured it out,, ugh,, I was so sure he was stupid like the rest of the Imperials tend to be

Ehehe when Crosshair clicked his tongue-

Shit man,, i'm loving Cross more and more FUCK

lmao all the British accents had me dead, felt like I was watching a DHMIS episode

"But my skills are being wasted" <- fUCK. That just,, ugh with his shaky hands,,, I know that's fucking him over oh my gods

When they freed all the animals I was so happy, fucking love when shows/movies have a scene like that

Cannot get over how flawlessly Crosshair and Omega work together, even if Crosshair complains about it and whatnot, it's like he never left and I just love that

Hemlock being so close on their tail is TERRIFYING man

Immediately started crying the second I realized we were getting a reunion in this episode

Crosshair dissuading Omega from meeting up with Hunter and Wrecker :(

THE FACT THAT OMEGA KEEPS SAYING LIKE "I need to get into contact with Hunter and Wrecker" and NEVER mentions Echo fucking HURTS

She knows he left :(

Okay but when they landed and saw the Marauder, fucking waterworks man

Then when the door stayed empty for a bit I got fucking scared, but then Wrecker came in and I was on the floor crying

The fact that we got a reunion so early in the season though SCARES ME man

I was afraid that Omega was going to be taken away for a 3rd time, but in front of Crosshair but now it seems like it's going to be in front of ALL of them again and that's going to make Hunter snap

THE REUNION HUGS :((

I cried so hard I nearly threw up

Had to physically force myself to stop crying because I did not want to throw up my breakfast of coffee

BUT THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER :(((( (more or less)

the fact that they didn't know the reunion reactions of Crosshair UGH

Not buying that Wrecker didn't immediately run up to hug him

Wrecker and Hunter both looked upset over seeing Crosshair and if they have a fight/argument in the next episode I'm fucking done

BUT THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER!!

I cannot wait to see Hunter and Wrecker's reactions to Batcher

These episodes leave me happy for like 3 minutes and then the dread and frustration creeps in

Man.

Good episode though. I love Crosshair and Omega.

[mxmajor]

Didn't you tell me to be the guy? "I didn't tell you to be an asshole."- Uncle Jimmy

And for Carmy, those are one in the same. And because the show has been so tight on his perspective as the protag, many viewers have joined on the perspective of seeing everyone but Carmy as an asshole even when they aren't (except NY Chef/David Fields, fuck that guy).

In previous seasons we see more of Carmy's interiority (his memories, his ideas, his intrusive thoughts, his vulnerable moments at the thing), but marginally, we are made aware of how his behavior is impacting those around him.

in season 3 , we get a nice long introspective opener in 3x01 that visually lays out the experiences, memories, and thought process carmy's attempting to synthesize into success to overcorrect after friends and family.

He also does all of this alone.

In the following episodes we see more of the real time misunderstandings and failed efforts to establish and reinforce bonds with ppl not immediately in carmy's kin circle.

At first glance, the faks are doing a lot screentime wise, but I think their presence and the window guys, and even Tina's story highlight the lack of reliability that could happen in Carmy's perspective in addition to how spot on he is abt what is fucked up around the beef/berzatto family.

They show us an affection, and familiarity, and warmth with each other in their sophomoric antics and bonds with each other. All of it looks unprofessional and silly, esp when richie is trying to do so many random things not to thwart Carmy but save some of the atmosphere that makes people want to be there. But we see that ppl in other BOH kitchens have that, which Richie knowss. Cause he's experienced it at the Beef and Ever, even if not all the time with the berzatto siblings.

But I feel vindicated abt the old posts I made abt Carmy being an asshole, not because I think he's bad or I want to see him fail, but because I think he can eventually be aware of himself in a positive way and maybe be better in season 4. but he has to own his shit.

Carmy's genius and youngest child syndrome can passively slide him into a role where he is just accepted as complicated and misunderstood. Carmy is Carmy, no one tells him no really. Syd and Richie are the ones that give him the most pushback (which he desperately needs to listen to). But he got nearly a million dollars to do as he wanted off of love and guilt.

he goes inside himself to figure things out, and waits to be noticed dand interpreted but does not assertive in way that helps him engage. He doesn't see clearly that the success, magic, and joy is in the shared experience (with his siblings, coworkers, supervisor, dating) because he has been in that odd man out role and believes he doesn't belong.

So many people think this is his dream and passion but he literally never says that. Most of his relationships happens through projections he doesn't really clear up because he is so focused on the negative projects he assumes ppl will know about him because of his family and past.

He also tends to make things about himself that are not about him. When it is his familiars, it explodes into something, When it is Sydney or the computer it deflates and gets redirected because no one is coming for him like he anxiously/insecurely believes they are.

Carmy: Is that a shot? Computer: I don't understand. Carmy: Are you giving me shit for not calling people back? Ep. 5, Children, 23:33

Why the hell would the Computer (who is a great organizational professional, i need to look into credentialing like his) take time in a serious meeting to take a dig at Carmy????

Sometimes it seems like he only has genuine convos with Syd & Marcus but I think that is because he sees/projects parts of his chef self in them. Moreso Marcus now than Syd, he doesn't want them to experience and make the same mistakes.

I wish he would have asked the chef's he worked under for advice (on camera, in script) but you know, Carmy does not talk, and we wouldn't have a show if he did everything right all of the time.

I think NY chef just eating "the yeah I did the fucked up stuff on purpose, you're welcome" turned everything on its side in Carmy's brain. But I also think he took that exchange well in comparison to his spirals in the past two season finales.

all the core islands and structures in his head he built and rebuilt around being a successful chef topple. Sitting with all of those actual chefs and listening to them are their kitchen experiences foils his belief that people only gain success through being assholes.

SN: Uncle Jimmy, how is Carmy supposed to know what being the man looks like in a non-asshole way if he never got to work with his brother and didn't have consistent male figures growing up? But also, nobody knows how fcked up NY Chef is outside of the industry so how would cicero know either.

Carmy needs to socialize outside of his immediate family that he grew up around. And actually fucking talk to people. Not just stare and say very heavy one liners related to his inner monologue that are narrowly connected to the present topic.

heeey @currymanganese here is a post with initial thoughtsss

[xf-cases-solved]

S2E4: Sleepless

Case: In Alex Krycek's first episode, our story begins, not with Alex Krycek (booo), but with a man's apartment starting on fire and the man calling 911, except when the fire department arrives, there is no fire, but there is a dead guy who we later learn died from believing he was burning to death. Weird! Cue credits.

As we wait for Alex Krycek to arrive, Mulder receives cryptic information under his door from an unknown source (tho I bet I know who the source is! X, my beloved...) leading him to the case of the imaginary fire. The problem is that another agent has also been assigned to the case... my friends, Alex Krycek, our favorite piece of shit rat bastard, has entered the mfing chat. (He stands right in front of Mulder as the tape Mulder's listening to goes, "I'm waitin' here like some kind of a bimbo," which I thought was extremely apt.)

While Mulder does his best to keep Alex Krycek out of the loop (and also bring Scully INTO the loop) more weird deaths happen. We are then formally introduced to X—Mulder's newest (and absolute best) informant, who fucking hates him and hates being his informant and who has extremely angry homoerotic energy with him every time they interact. (In my notes, that no one reads but myself, I have "X!!! X and Krycek in the same episode <3" written down, in case you were curious how I felt about that.)

Anyway, yada yada, turns out there was a secret experiment done on some military dudes in Vietnam, and they have not slept since. This apparently gives one of the dudes the power of the Force, as he's able to convince people that they're experiencing things that aren't really happening, such as burning to death. He has decided that he and the others he served with are all horrible sinners who committed war crimes and should die, so that's why he's going around murdering them with his mind (or something, I wasn't 100% clear on his motive).

Alex Krycek is on the case! (With Mulder ig.)

Mulder won't shake Alex Krycek's hand as he's waitin' there like some kind'a bimbo; Alex Krycek is ditched like someone's bad date; Scully meets Alex Krycek and is deeply unimpressed (and also won't shake his hand); Mulder warms up to Alex Krycek over the course of the episode, which is ofc very hilarious to anyone who has watched this show before; Alex Krycek mistakes a Bible for a gun (hate it when that happens); I have in my notes "they should make out" and I'm not sure if it's referring to Mulder and Alex Krycek or Mulder and X, but either way, I mean like, yeah; and it might be entirely possible that Alex Krycek... isn't quite who he says he is...👀 (He's bad. He's a bad guy. We all know he's a bad guy. But he's also bad at being a bad guy and also bad at everything else, and that's why he's my favorite forever and ever amen. 🙏)

Does someone die in the cold open: Yes, and it makes Scully very confused when she does the autopsy later

Does Mulder present a slideshow: No, and as I'm writing this I'm realizing how absolutely robbed we were of Mulder doing a slideshow for Krycek, wtf

Does the evidence survive the investigation: Lol, nah. Wonder who could have possibly stolen it...

Whodunit: Really, really, really bad insomnia

Convictions: They're all dead and also they have no evidence or files. Zip nada nothin', y'all

Did they solve it: Lol no. I mean, technically yes, they know what happened, but they have no proof of it at all and can't do an investigation into it. Ig I'll call it a "no, but" and give them experience points and let them add X to their inventory. And Krycek, but they don't want him there lol.

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: My three-legged cat, Krycek, and all the poor veterinarians who have no idea how to pronounce his name.

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 14 (streak broken. aw man, too bad someone stole all your evidence, whupsie. who could have done such a horrible thing 😔)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me": 6 

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 6

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8 ½ (dude was holding him at bible-point) 

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably Intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 14 (i'll say her very overt jealousy of krycek counts)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 5 (she does but i don't believe we actually see her doing it)

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 18 (once on the phone and once in person, and X is so mad about it too looool. bro literally says "i don't want to be here," like, buddy, you are there on your own accord! you are so salty and it's entirely your own doing! god i love him)

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2

Total Number of Times Someone Correctly Guesses a Password: 3 

Total Number of (Plot Relevant) Nosebleeds: 5

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 3

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 3 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 4 (i know someone said it, but idr who. i think it was krycek tho, talking to mulder)

Total Number of Times Someone Says "The Truth is Out There": 2 (X said "the truth is STILL out there" so almost there, but not quite)

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 9

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 1

Total Number of Lone Gunmen Sightings: 2

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 1!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 11½ (ok but i did still forget to pay attention to where the episode took place lol) 

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 5

[bengiyo]

Only Friends Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Boston played to win and achieved his goal of hooking up with Top again. Nick moved in with Sand and secretly recorded audio of Boston's hookup with Top. Boston convinced Top that Mew is lying about being a virgin and playing games with him and Ray. Mew is playing this virgin card too hard and is now losing. Ray continues to play hard for Sand, but threw him away to run to Mew. Cheum is the only one properly focused on their project. Yo is the only person in a stable relationship.

Yes, show. Remind us about how loudly Top was moaning in that car. He was present for that.

"Emergency Contact." Loving the names of these episodes.

I like the choice to use a 4:3 aspect ratio for the past sequence. Khaotung would have been just as beautiful in the 90s.

Man, I hated calls like this. You feel so powerless, but you feel like you have to do something when you think your friend is going to harm themselves.

Oof. We called that Ray has been like this for a while, and this was as sad as I thought his depression would be.

I feel bad for Mew. It couldn't have been easy to reject Ray when he's in a constant emotional spiral. You want to help your friend, but you also don't want to give him false hope.

Boston is such an ass for recording them. I get the curiosity and how it probably felt like a joke at the time, but he used it in such a malicious way.

Mew is unsubtle, but you end up being that way when you have a friend who's always intoxicated. They miss cues.

Mew needed to set that boundary with Ray. He can't get used to taking advantage of him like that.

We didn't get to see Mark and First work together much in Moonlight Chicken. I like the rapport they built for these characters. Sand is like, "Boston? Really?"

Okay this 80s style synth track sent me into orbit. I'm obsessed.

Top is good at this game they're playing.

Big bass drop on the question about the model plane.

It's interesting in this A-B shot with Ray begging Sand to let him spend the day with him that they put Sand center frame when we see his face, but he's almost offscreen when we see Ray. It feels like Ray is crowding him.

I hate that I'm getting used to Ray being drunk all the time.

I like that Sand can clearly state how he feels. Sucks that he knows he's falling for a problem.

Damn, Top destroyed Boston in that elevator, and not in a way Boston hoped for.

Top is still getting his on the side, but he's not messing around with Boston anymore. Mew really think he has this man on lock because he wants that virgin ass so bad.

Unsurprisingly, Nick is not afraid to go through this man's phone.

So, Boston gave a reasonable proscription against taking photos, but that only makes Nick more jealous because of the Top photos. Boston says Nick is always welcome, but that's dependent upon Nick being nice and lovely. He ain't ready for Nick.

He said, "It's Mr. Nick, if ya nasty."

Top is so fascinating. As soon as he understood what Nick wanted he took total control of that conversation, and he literally ends the meeting looking down on Nick.

So Top definitely fucked one of Sand's boyfriends. That beef felt specific and personal.

Thank you for confirming that, Sand.

Ray really came over here to piss with Mew after trying to snuggle back in with Sand. This man is a mess.

Yes, Mew, share your big secret that your friend still has a crush on you and you kissed once.

"I'm not an addict." Gurl.

Now, Mew. You already have an addict as a friend. Why would you even consider using transactional sex to encourage your would-be boyfriend to quit? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.

Top is rich. He does not care about the little hit he just threw away. It's a small price to pay for victory.

No penetration? Oh lord I'm about to get trampled by the disk horse.

"I only have you." Top is now winning.

Damn, I can't even really believe that Top actually cares about Mew's feelings.

Oh, Sand. You know, and yet he's just too charming. I get it.

Looks like we're setting up for the spiral next week.

TOP IS BACK TO LIVING UP TO HIS NAME! Incredible week for him. He decimated every single character he encountered.

Mew, you lost, baby; he played you.

Nick and Boston, both of your half-formed plans looked tired this week and you both need to retool.

Sand and Ray, you are the only two straightforward characters and I am so looking forward to the havoc you will wreak when you are finally pushed over the edge.

Sand, you in particular will be my champion; you keep telling everyone exactly who you are and they keep fucking with you. Let me know when you need your bat, king.