#then we started talking about how expensive everything is (bc i wanna move out) and how politicians dont care about the ppl n shit

[thestamp3d3]

dude who radicalized my dad why are we agreeing on politics rn

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: Pregnancy, adult topics, cheating

I didn’t think I’d get so jealous. But it’s my own fault I would say. 😕Nobody forced me to come here, where my ex and his (Ex) -fiancée lived together...

Nico: Sorry. But I put away almost everything that was possible. Her furnishings I can’t just let disappear overnight.

Me: What?... Um, no! I-... I don’t mind those furniture she bought or all that stuff. It looks great. Tbh, this is perfect! I just wonder, why didn’t it look like this in our apartment back then? I couldn’t even buy a new couch, without you starting to discuss with me. But you allowed her to change everything here.

Nico: Didn’t you listen to me a few mins ago? She bought all this shit here without my permission. I had no idea about it! I was playing soccer abroad. And you got a new couch back then. Just remember how many times I painted the walls for you. Hm?

Me: All this here looks pretty expensive, compared to our apartment. I kind of feel like she’s.... like Isabella.🤑

Nico: Isabella?... Hell, no! ..And she’s not wealthy like Isabella, if that’s what you wanted to know. Actually, she’s like.... you. Self-conscious, anxious, indecisive, a bit shy and.... sad. 🫤

Me: You must have a weakness for depressed women, ha?

Nico: You know what I meant. But she's not hooked, she has other serious..... issues. Just she’s not as cute and hot as you are to me.

Me: Yea, sure.... I just don’t understand why you moved in with her? I mean, you have a house! A pretty big one! An apartment was not really necessary. 🤨

Nico: Excuse me?.. Why would I live with my mother? You and P. also had plans to move together. Why is it allowed for you, but not for me?... Yes, he told me you chose him, when I visited him at his fucking college. So I had to move away, to avoid the two of you! But this here isn't her place. I was here before she and I got....well, serious.

Me: Sorry. I didn’t mean to. And I didn’t really choose Philip. I thought I had it, but.... no. I lied to him and myself. I always felt bad about you and he too! That’s why it was so easy for me to fall in love with Daniel. Frankly... I was glad that it was over with Philip. I didn’t want anything to do with you two, after I was with him abroad. 😒

Nico: That wasn't my fault, his ... Natasha bitch. I never did such a shit to you. But to be clear, I’m not blaming you for my own mistake! I’m sorry I asked you to sleep with him. I never admitted it, but.. the first time I saw you & him together,..... I wanted to kill P. ... Yea, now it’s out. I was jealous. Even though that damn thing was my fucking idea.🤷‍♂️

Me: And still, you insisted that I continue.......Hm? You know? But that spa-weekend was pretty nice. We should definitely repeat this. Just the two of us, of course!! Without Philip...... So sorry, N.

Nico: And I'm sorry for being crazy. I was so stupid to share you with Philip and pass between the two of us. I thought that would help you and I trusted P. Never thought he’d take you away from me. I was sure you would choose me if necessary.

Me: I chose you, but I couldn’t tell anyone. I didn't want to hurt P., so I went nuts and told my Dad.🤦‍♀️I told him the last 3 weeks alone with P. were hard. He locked me up not to relapse... and that you couldn't leave me alone, bcs I started using. I said all this to him... I wanted my Dad to get me out of that mess. Not really, I just didn't know what to do?...I was so unhappy bcs you had to go back to Italy. And at the same time afraid to lose P. But my crazy Dad sent you away, not Philip.

A bit later....

Nico: That movie sucks, babe. You really wanna keep watching this crap?... I’d rather continue with you.😏

Me: I gotta tell you something... Something serious. (🍼🤰 )

Nico: Daniel?? 🙄

Me: Agh, no... Anyway, let's talk later. I want you, too N.

Nico: From now on, you stay with me.

Me: She didn't even really move out here.... but I'd love to stay with you. 🩷

Nico: Then you stay, babe. No time to waste. I have so many plans for you. But most importantly, you divorce Daniel.

Me: This time, I’m not questioning what you’re up to.. I’ll do whatever you want. Besides, I have plans for you too. (😬🍼) And Daniel took off anyway. He doesn't want me.

Nico: His mistake, my gain. Such an moron!

And that's N.'s (ex-) fiancée. Stephanie.🤨 Don’t worry, she didn’t catch us in bed!!! But she was there! I didn’t see her myself the moment she came. I was sleeping. Nico was up. She came by to pick up her stuff, he thought. But she also wanted to talk to him and did not intend to leave. He didn’t tell her I was in his bedroom, he just asked her to leave. Nico told me she was crying and wearing... sleepwear?

He seemed worried and was somehow.... weird to me after she showed up at his place. I had the feeling, he didn’t want me anymore? 😞 All though a few hours ago, he wanted me to stay with him. He wanted me to move in with him. You know? However, I asked him to drive me home to my parents. I had to change & shower, so yea, he dropped me at my parent's house and said, that he would pick me up in 2 hours. I was so relieved that he wanted to come back. I was afraid to lose him a second time. Besides, I was pregnant. I mean, I haven’t taken a test yet, but I just knew it. Something changed in my body, I could literally feel it. It was like the last time I was pregnant. And btw, I told Nico what happened to me last year, about this whole annoying issue with my contraception. He reacted totally relaxed. He said, if I want a baby, he wouldn’t use protection. I really didn’t expect that!! 😲 I knew Nico never wanted to have children. At least not at this point. I was about to tell him, I was very likely pregnant, but I wanted to take a test first, to be absolutely sure!! I was so happy about N.’s composure on this subject. I already imagined our future with our Baby and all this. 🩵 Just as I mentioned before, the next morning, all this seemed to be in danger, bcs of that girl, Stephanie. 😓

Previous/ Next

[starjxsung]

hi bestie <3 how are you?

i finally got home on thursday night. i feel the same was about chicago tho. it was so so so pretty but so tiring. but i kinda wanna move there now bc i enjoyed it and it’s so different to what im used to here. my two extra days were super stressful but the weather was so nice and windy.

i’m so sorry that your flight was scary! i hate flying sm, mine had a lot of turbulence but i drink some ✨anxiety meds✨ and sleep through it all <3

it sucks so much that we couldn’t meet but fr skz was total insanity and im just glad to have survived it </3 lolla skz will live in my head rent free forever. skz being real was not in 2k24 bingo card and i also need tickets for their tour or i’ll cry. but the chicago trip was sooooo expensive for me bc i have no control and went to a kpop store and target and to museums and the aquarium 🙃 and my support system is the worst bc i was only going to buy the ate version and my bf was like “get i.n and changbin” and that’s how i ended up with i.n, changbin, han and felix (i have lino on the way too) and a maxed out credit card (: money comes back ig. and the worst part was literally that ateez performed in chicago this weekend and i didn’t even know like </333 i could’ve met teo sang my beloved if i had stayed for a few more days (delulu bc with what money?). my bf is all for ateez @ lolla ‘25 so we’ll see 🤞🏻

and the chappell crowd was insanely full (literally the biggest one in lolla history wtf) but not as crazy as skz tbh. i love her sm tho, she’s such a superstar. i’m so glad to have been able to see her too <3

and alas, my semester starts tomorrow (not ready at all, screaming & crying) so real world awaits and im so bedrotting rn bc why can’t i be beautiful and do ska’s makeup or something for a living </3

anyways ily angel, i hope all is so well. take care of yourself always!!

-🐈‍⬛

MY LOOOOOVE oh my gosh it’s been a minute since I’ve been on here properly!!! How are you!! How’s practicum!!!!! I was just talking about you earlier today bc my sister was complaining about her practicum and I offhandedly mentioned I knew someone else who was doing one and it just got me thinking about you and hoping everything was going well 🥹💓

Ugh the more time that passes, the more I miss Lolla 💔 it truly just felt so relaxing to be able to put everything behind me for a week and just be at a music festival and not have a care in the world except for skz. I totally feel you on wanting to move there too! I felt the exact same way after going to New York for the first time to see 3racha. It was just this gut feeling that I’m supposed to be here all the time and it felt so magical 😭 I can’t believe in a few weeks it’ll be a year since I saw 3racha in NY. Time passes by so quickly I hate it

GIRLLLL THE MONEYYY oh my god I was literally scared of how much money I spent after skz at lolla, I was fr buying so much kpop stuff when I came back and I’ve been collecting so many of Jisung’s pcs this era so I have to physically pry myself away from scrolling on Mercari 😭 I can’t help it he is just TOOOOO FINE…. Also not you just missing Ateez nooooo 💔💔 but now that you mention ateez at Lolla I can SO see that happening??? If they do headline and you get tickets we HAVEEE TO MEET 🤞👼 MANIFESTINGGGGG

I hope the semester’s been going well!!! I hope you haven’t been too stressed (although it seems like we’re all just going THRUUU IT 😭) I love you so so much and I’m sending you all the good vibes to make it through another semester. (Also side note Taemin & Onew new albums WHEWEEEEWKEKDKDKKD MY SHAWOL HEART IS SOOOO HAPPY)

[bi-disaster-yn]

Going Away to College

Pairing: rockstar!Billy Hargrove x fem!Reader

Summary: Billy is scared about his girlfriend leaving him on the road to go to college and can only express this to her through song. (Inspired by Going Away to College by Blink-182)

Or the one where Billy & Eddie live, become best friends and Billy joins Corroded Coffin which becomes super famous and he writes this song for you!

A/N: The Billy sending Max polaroids thing is inspired by the fact Dacre and his sister have twin owls for when he’s away so she feels close to him bc I thought that was fuckin cute.

Billy couldn’t contain you forever.

He knew it even when you told him that you’d come on the road with him as Corroded Coffin was taking off a couple of years ago. It wouldn’t be long before you needed your mind stretched. Sure, tour life was cool and it only improved as the band got more famous but you needed something more substantial.

By the end of two years, you decided it was time for you to get your shit together and finally go to college.

Billy was happy for you, of course. It wasn’t the end of the relationship. It’s just that he had went and chased his dream with your support, now it was time for you to go and chase yours. There were the usual promises of seeing each other on any weekends you could fly out to see him; spring, summer and winter breaks; and he would come back from tour or recording when the schedule permitted.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t terrified of not having you around. Eddie and the guys were fun but they always had their girlfriends with them. Billy was scared of getting lonely out on the road without you there to keep him warm at night.

Part of the enjoyment of touring the world was the making memories with you. Billy would take polaroids of you both at all of the world’s greatest landmarks and would write little notes on them. He sent the goofy ones to Max with postcards so she could feel close to you both and compiled a scrapbook of them all to show you when each tour was over.

He had kept the one of you both outside the Colosseum in Rome in his wallet because you were looking at each other and smiling in it. Rather than looking at the camera or the landmark with ancient prestigious history, you looked at each other with warmth and adoration. Without you, who was he going to share these moments with?

Still, he had to let you go.

He couldn’t get the words out to you about how he felt. It was funny; he could carve your name into his eye-wateringly expensive bass and be physically incapable of being anywhere near you without touching you. But talking to you to express his fear? Fuck, that was hard.

So, he did the only thing he knew how to do. He gathered a pen, a notepad and Eddie and sat down in a hotel room one day while you went sightseeing with Chrissy to write a song about his feelings.

Tonight was to be the night to premiere it, not only to the dedicated fans but to you. It was your last night on tour with them before leaving to start college.

To put it bluntly, Billy’s heart was in his stomach. Everything you did that day attracted his most stern fixation, savouring every moment of your presence before it was to be yanked away from him for months. Yet, he couldn’t find it in him to reveal this to you, despite your many attempts to get through to him.

“Are you sure there’s nothing wrong, baby?” You asked him sweetly as he took his traditional final smoke before the show.

“Positive, princess.” He replied shortly, exhaling an opaque cloud of smoke that almost hid his anxiety-ridden features. Almost.

“You know, if you wanna talk about me leaving, then we can…” You started but Billy cut you off.

“Later. We’ll talk about it later.” He abruptly said, giving you a quick kiss and responding to Eddie hollering at him to move his ass. He brushed past you to join his bandmates, leaving you feeling disheartened.

It was like he didn’t care; never acknowledging your leaving and hardly excited anymore when you brought it up. The closer your leaving date approached, the more apathetic your Billy became. It made you fear the worst, as though your leaving for college was accelerating the inevitable demise of yours and Billy’s relationship.

It was a cruel kick in the teeth when you considered having put your life on hold for 2 years while he rose to his full potential with the band and you merely coasted along. You were certain that Billy had become a better person than that, but maybe you were wrong. Exchanging late night after parties for all night cramming sessions seemed a good idea at the time. Now, the concept of losing Billy made this all seem so bittersweet.

Sighing, you decided to just have one last good night on tour before you had to kiss this life – and Billy – goodbye. You folded your arms and joined Chrissy at your usual spot at the side of the stage to cheer them on.

The concert proceeded as usual; with the same set-list they had every night for this leg of the tour. You could recite the order of songs in your sleep.

Something was different that night. While Eddie would turn every now and then to wink at Chrissy and the others would do the same for their girlfriends, Billy did anything but look at you. It created a thick sensation of bile in your throat as you contemplated that he might be out there scanning the crowd for your potential replacement as his bunk buddy.

Billy was stoic and unlike his usual show-off performer self. Usually him and Eddie exchanged banter on stage or the band would challenge him to prove his status as keg king mid-performance (which he would always do and continue to be note-perfect on the bass afterwards). He was different tonight; he needed to be focussed so that your song would be perfect.

Towards the end of the set, which usually came the fan-favourite song from the debut album, Eddie addressed the crowd.

“Alright Chicago! Because you guys are just the best crowd ever – and no, I don’t say that every night, I really do mean it – we decided to mix it up a bit!” Eddie began.

“You see, Billy here, you guys know Billy, right?” Eddie asked, gesturing over to his blonde bandmate who waved to the crowd currently going crazy for him. It wasn’t a secret to you or Chrissy that Billy and Eddie were the members most popular with the ladies.

“Yeah, Billy’s girlfriend goes off to college tomorrow! Isn’t that sad?” The crowd responded with an overwhelming ‘awwwww’ to Eddie, hung on his every word. You narrowed your eyebrows, only now becoming aware of Chrissie’s sniggering next to you, clearly in on something that you weren’t.

“So, he wrote her a song, and we want to play it for you!” Eddie exclaimed enthusiastically. “Oh! And he’s gonna sing it for you!”

The crowd went wild with excitement as Billy and Eddie exchanged places on stage so that he could be centre stage. Your heart was thumping so hard in your chest that you were scared it might escape and your throat was so dry you couldn’t form a single word.

Not that your brain was doing much better at forming thoughts. It was like being in autopilot, staring at your boyfriend ready to take the lead. Billy never sang in the band – despite his being very good at it, only Eddie had the confidence and showmanship for that role.

Billy had written you songs before which you had always appreciated but singing them was a different ball-game. Clearly, he was about to make a real statement. The whole thing was all very overwhelming and heart-warming and surreal all it once.

“This one is for you, babe.” Billy said in a gruff voice, looking at you for the first time all night. Chrissy grabbed your shoulders, shaking you slightly and squealing eagerly for you. It was the first time since Eddie’s announcement that you actually felt your body move. Feet planted to the spot, you stared at Billy as he turned round to start the song.

It started with a simple guitar melody before exploding into a full band effort with the drums and bass. And then Billy started to sing:

“Please take me by the hand It's so cold out tonight I'll put blankets on the bed I won't turn out the light, just Don't forget to think about me And I won't forget you "I'll write you once a week", she said”

Somewhere in the first verse, although you weren’t quite sure where, tears started to fall from your eyes which blurred your vision. Still, you held Billy in your eyeline, just grateful to find out that you were wrong earlier and in actual fact that boy did care so very much that you were leaving.

“Why does it feel the same to fall in love or break it off? And if young love is just a game, then I must have missed the kick-off Don't depend on me to ever follow through on Anything, but I'd go through hell for you, and

I haven't been this scared in a long time And I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me.”

Billy’s confidence only increased as the song progressed and when he turned round to see you crying but with the biggest smile on your face, he knew his message was coming across. Swelling inside your chest, your heart felt as though it was about to burst. You knew that if it did then the pieces would be etched with Billy’s name and your love would be evident for all to see.

He had borne his soul for you tonight on that stage and whilst you had been desperate to see this for weeks, it occurred to you that this might just be the way Billy knew how. It made you wonder how he was able to cope with all of this couped up inside him for so long but it was no matter, he was getting his catharsis now.

“I'll think about the times She kissed me after class, and She put up with my friends I acted like an ass, I'd Ditch my lecture to watch the girls play soccer Is my picture still hanging in her locker?

I haven't been this scared in a long time And I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful.”

During the instrumental bridge, Billy was quick to run off the stage with his bass slung by his side on its strap. Cupping your face in his big hands, he pulled you in for the most desperate but passionate kiss you two had ever shared. The tears still cascaded from your eyes but neither of you minded.

“I love you so fucking much, okay? Don’t you ever forget that.” He said to you when he finally pulled back, staring into your pretty crying eyes.

“I love you too.” You choked out.

“Okay, well, I gotta finish this song, I just needed you to know that. And, fuck! Promise me we’ll be okay? Like really promise it! We’re gonna survive this and we’re gonna be so happy, me and you. Right, princess?” Billy frantically asked, his nerves forcing his thoughts to come out all at once and unfiltered.

“We’re gonna be more than okay, baby.” You smiled widely at him and placed another soft peck on his lips with a giggle before pushing his chest away. “Now go! Finish this fucking beautiful song!”

Billy chuckled cheekily walking backwards out onto the stage and blowing you one last kiss which you caught with your hand. You kept it closed in your palm so that you might keep it forever.

Turning to the crowd with a victorious smile on his face, Billy got back into show-man mode and finished off his gorgeous love song.

“I haven't been this scared in a long time And I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful.”

[lunarticxenia]

Moon Signs Pt. 1

My take on moon signs based off people I know! Now personally, I tend to have more strong opinions on my favorite moon signs than favorite sun signs. I feel like moon signs really indicate more about a person’s personality than their sun sign, imo. It does rule emotions and behavior after all. With sun signs I struggle with picking favorites because I do genuinely have people I like of every zodiac sign. I just go by the number of people I like from each zodiac sign. Anyhoo, here’s my view on each moon sign! 

Note: These are p long bc I have such strong thoughts on moon signs so I’m splitting it into two parts. :) 

🍂 Aries Moon: Ahhh, my moon sign. I won’t be biased though, I promise. So Aries moons based off other people I know is that we low-key got anger issues LMAO. Every single Aries moon I’ve met besides myself has anger issues, with the exception of one person and she still gets irritated easily. Aries Moons are also extremely sensitive, and they tend to be overlooked for that since they’re fire signs. I’ve found that a lot of what they get angry about has to do with their feelings, if they feel they’ve been wronged this really can make them angry as they are super sensitive. They also get angry when they feel like people aren’t listening to them, as they take this very personally. I’ve also noticed that Aries moons are EXTREMELY honest, they will tell it how it is and they are extremely blunt. They don’t like to beat around the bush, and they are very direct with how they feel about something. Aries moons are also extremely passionate and spontaneous especially in relationships; they’re the ones who wanna kiss in the rain and ride horses into the sunset, that is if you can get them to settle down with you LMAO. Nah all jokes, they’re picky about who they want, but once they really fall for someone it’s very hard for them to let go. They’re also so competitive, they will play dirty. My grandpa used to let me win in checkers as a kid, my dad (who’s an Aries moon) NEVER let me win. He said me losing would help build character LMFAO. He just didn’t wanna lose.They also have strong personalities and can be SUPER impulsive. Also, if they wanna do something, they WILL do it. No one is gonna stop them. If they wanna go somewhere at 3am, they’re doing it. Sorry. You can’t stop them. LMAO. Aries moons also love to be in touch with their inner child, my dad is an Aries moon and bought himself an arcade machine out of nowhere LMAO. I also like to collect shells and watch Disney movies to remind me of my childhood. They also tend to change their views and opinions on things a lot, and mind you they have intense emotions about these things. So it can be hard to keep up w them. 

🍂 Taurus Moon: Taurus moons are just so calm, it’s scary LMAO. I know a few of them, and even if they’re anxious about something you can never tell. They always have this calm demeanor and just seem so unbothered by everything. Taurus moons also LOVE money and the finer things in life. The male Taurus moons I know work a lot just so they can have a lot of money. One of them literally said to me “Money talks” after explaining to me why they work 7 days a week, 12 hours a day doing two jobs. The crazy thing is, despite doing all that extra work, he just seemed so unbothered about it LMAO. The female Taurus moons I know tend to love really expensive clothes and dressing up. This Taurus moon I work with has such nice clothes and always dresses like she’s on a Vogue cover. Like I said, Taurus moons LOVE money and the finer things in life like expensive clothes. If they aren’t the types to dress up or be workaholics, they desire comfort. They would rather lay in bed and take hot bathes than be bothered to do all that extra stuff. They also might like to eat out at expensive restaurants, and are “foodies”. They also might be big lovers of music and have lots of different music tastes. Also, Taurus moons? STUBBORN. Good luck trying to get them to change their mind on something. Also, despite them wanting all the luxuries and comfort of life, they are SUPER grounded. They do not live in a dream world, they see life for what it is, and prefer to be on the ground than have their heads in the clouds. Also, Taurus moons, I’m sorry, but y’all can be lazy. I work with three of them, and they can be lazy. They will not do more than the bare minimum. Also, their anger is low-key scary. Especially since it can come out of nowhere since they’re calm all the time, you never know when they’re angry and if you catch them at the wrong time... well, rip. They also tend to be introverted- even if they’re social, you will not know anything about them unless you’re besties with them or related to them. Doesn’t matter how well you know them, they don’t air their dirty laundry and keep their private life private. Also one last thing, omg these people sing all the time. They love singing to themselves, every single one I’ve met does that LMAO. Anyway, love my Taurus moons. 

🍂 Gemini Moon: Gemini moons love to make people laugh LMAO and love to just sit down and have good talks with people. Their minds NEVER stop working. Good luck trying to get them to stop talking once they know you. They can and will talk about anything for hours. Now, I do admire that, but sometimes I just wanna relax and they won’t stop talking to me LMFAO. My dad’s girlfriend is a Gemini moon and at family gatherings she loves to dance around and try to get everyone else to dance. I find that Gemini moons are very active and love to move around, and try to get everyone to have fun. Definitely the life of the party. They’re super amusing and also love to tell jokes and funny stories. Now not all of them are extroverts especially if they have an earth sun sign. So that is something to consider. My cousin is a Gemini moon and tends to be more introverted, however, once she’s comfortable around someone and knows someone she’s super goofy and loves to make people laugh. Gemini moons also love to learn, they’re always teaching themselves about something. My cousin who’s a Gemini moon just randomly started teaching herself how to do sign language (she’s good at it also)! These people are also SUPER adaptable, they can get along with any kind of personality and can adapt to any situation. I’ve also noticed that they love to playfully roast people and annoy them LMAO. I have noticed that they struggle with reading the room, they tend to just continue to annoy someone and can take it too far, which can get kind of annoying. They’re also extremely curious and are always asking questions. They love to ask random questions without any context. It’s a quirk a lot of them have. Trying to tell a story to them can be frustrating because if you mention certain terms they’ll ask you what they mean LMFAO. My dad was telling a story about how he used surfing to explain physics concepts in class and his girlfriend asked what the concepts were and what they mean. Also, they’re really good at giving advice. These people would make great psychologists imo. This girl I used to talk to (who’s a Gemini moon) actually is becoming a psychologist, so there you go LMAO. 

🍂Cancer Moon: Oh Cancer moons...you guys are so sensitive. They feel everything and anything. I haven’t met a Cancer moon that isn’t an empath. They are extremely good at reading other people and sensing their motives. My mother is a Cancer moon, and she’s always been able to tell who’s toxic in my life. She doesn’t even have to meet them either, just based off of stories I tell her, she can pick it up right away. Now, everyone always says Cancer moons are super close with their family and that’s definitely not always the case. The Cancer moons I’ve met have actually had a lot of problems with their family. Now the thing that I’ve noticed with these placements is that despite how toxic their family is, they always stick by them. Even if they’re not close. So I wouldn’t say they’re all super close with their families, but they always stick up for them, which can be an issue if their family is toxic. Also, Cancer moons, SUPER MOODY. I’m sorry but like I’m a Cancer sun and they’re ten times more moody than I am LMFAO. I’ve always said they act more like the stereotypical Cancer than Cancer suns. Also, this is a super underrated placement for humor. Every Cancer moon I’ve met has been super funny. Also, a super underrated placement for anger issues. Everyone says oh yeah Aries moons have anger issues, like yes, BUT HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN CANCER MOON ANGER?! Y’all Taylor Swift is a Cancer moon and wrote a whole album about how fed up she was about the media mistreating her and the whole Kimye thing (rightfully so) but y’all see my point. They can and will fight you. They also tend to be introverted, even if they’re social, (which I rarely see), they would much rather keep to themselves. I’ve also noticed that they’re very nostalgic a lot. My Cancer moon ex used to just randomly go through childhood photos and would show them to me. They’re also EXTREMELY protective over people they love, they will KILL for the people they love. They also love to talk about their dream homes and interior decorating a lot? My Cancer moon ex was OBSESSED with coming up with his dream house and would literally draw out diagrams for me to see. My mother too, she wants to redecorate her apartment and was showing me all the potential furniture that was gonna be put in. Oh Cancer moons, LMAO. 

🍂 Leo Moon: Oh Leo moons. You guys can be so dramatic LMAO. Every Leo moon I’ve met is so dramatic; these are the types of people who get up and move around when telling a story and also do dramatic hand gestures. These are the types of people who post a black screen in middle school on Snapchat saying “Don’t hmu.” LMAO. My Leo moon friend gets so mad when I make that joke, but it’s so true. These people are also naturally super creative, the Leo moons I know love to decorate and draw. Even if they don’t do any outright creative hobbies, they have a creative streak to them. It’s weird though because despite them being very dramatic when it comes to them being angry, they struggle with expressing their personal problems to other people. (This however can be changed with other placements, but I’ve found this to be true in many cases). They don’t want people to think that they’re weak, so they put up a tough front to hide that they’re hurting. Also, Leo moons, are indeed the hype friends. My Leo moon friends gas up my Instagram posts so much. They’re also extremely loyal and don’t like to leave people out, they hate that kind of shit. They’re also extremely accepting of others, my Leo moon friend was the first person I came out to, and they accepted me right away. They also love to take pictures of EVERYTHING. Like when you go out with them, they will make you wait before eating your food so they can take video of your food together LMAO. They love to capture every moment, I personally find it very endearing. Also, a lot of people say Leo moons are super cocky. I don’t find this to be true. They can come off that way, but I’ve found they tend to actually be pretty insecure and they try to hide it by coming off as confident. I feel like Leo moons tend to put on a show a lot to hide how they truly feel, which makes it hard to get to know them. It makes me sad because they truly are such kind hearted people and all they want is to feel validation. I also found that they love to go above and beyond to make sure everyone else is happy and tend to put themselves last. I wish y’all didn’t do that, you deserve to be happy too. ;( 

🍂 Virgo Moon: Workaholics. That’s how I’m starting this LMAO. My friend is a Virgo moon and works her ass off. She goes above and beyond in school for starters. For this anatomy course we had together, she sent me a whole diagram she made of the human brain on Notability and it was so intricately made. She also works her ass off at her job and takes care of her siblings. I feel like this falls into Virgo placements putting others before themselves. Virgo moons are definitely the types to be like this. They want to make everyone happy and they want to feel useful so they do all these extra things to feel that way. Virgo moons are also super smart, and have the best study methods. Low-key jealous. They have this incredible drive and are always on top of things and have a routine. Also Virgo moons LOVE animals. My friend who’s a Virgo moon, works at a dog sitting business and has 6 pets at home. They LOVE animals. They also like honesty and bluntness; they will provide you with that as well. They don’t like beating around the bush or lying to make other people feel better. You wanna know if you look bad in a dress? Ask a Virgo moon, LMFAO. I’ve also found that they struggle with wanting to be perfect all the time, and struggle with anxiety. As I said, they want to be the best at everything, and this can be a big source of anxiety for them. These people also find themselves attracting people who they want to “fix”. They also give amazing advice and are super reliable. Also, last minute plans? They HATE them. Want a Virgo moon to hate you? Try making spontaneous plans with them LMAO. Virgo moons also have great memories; they’ll remember every little detail about you. Also Virgo moons are the types to take charge in a group project and run the whole thing because they don’t trust anyone. Virgo moons also always appear to be calm and collected, even though many of them frequently deal with anxiety a lot. Also, they’re low-key underrated for humor. They have a very dry and self-deprecating sense of humor LMAO. They also go above and beyond in relationships because they enjoy seeing the people they love being happy. 

Anyhoo, this wraps up part one!  Also these are just my opinions, so don’t get offended I tried to praise and drag all of them equally <3 

Part 2 here. 

[kakyoinryoko]

i have a  very specific and very stupid vision in my head for how kakyoin being there for part 4 would go which i will probably never write so instead i will make a very long post about it right now

the plot is largely identical but the differences start out w joseph calling kakyoin and being like “well there is probably another stand user in japan right now just so you know. in morioh. just so you are aware. okay. goodbye” but he forgets to mention anything about his illegitimate son or that jotaro will be there or anything he only talks about the possible evil stand user. and kakyoin is like “keh this is not my business. i have had enough of seeking out stand users. -_- also i will now be taking a little spring vacation in morioh but this is not related and i do not want to see any other stand users.”

so he goes there and arrives on the same day as jotaro and they are staying in the same hotel but they don’t meet at all. jotaro’s first meeting with josuke goes the same way, but kakyoin meets josuke at the convenience store that evening while it’s being robbed. he sends hierophant down the uhh storm drain thing that aqua necklace escapes through but he gets away so hierophant just comes back right away. but josuke sees that and kakyoin also saw crazy diamond obviously so as soon as josuke is done getting harassed by the police for confronting a guy holding a woman hostage and whatnot they link up and exchange the information they have abt what just happened, which is pretty minimal

and at this point the story relies on the fact that josuke does a really awful job of describing jotaro and kakyoin to each other so its like. “oh uhh yeah i basically JUST found out what stands are from my nephew. like earlier today. and also that i have a nephew. it’s been a little crazy” “i see. well, what’s the deal with him, then? you’re young, so he must be a little kid.” “oh nah my family’s kinda messed up. my sister who i’ve never met is actually way older than me and my nephew is like 30 or something” “oh. what’s he like?” “umm... tall? really tall... he has a hat. seems mostly well-meaning but kind of serious. and he’s a stand user” and kakyoin (instantly suspicious) is like “right... so what’s his stand like?” and josuke is like “uh... big... pink and blue. strong. it has.. hair? i think he can use it to teleport or something.” and kakyoin is like well star platinum can’t teleport and he’s purple so it’s no issue :+) bc he doesn’t know about the world or that splatinum has had a change in appearance.

and then when they’re on the phone in the morning josuke mentions to jotaro that he found another guy who he asked for help and jotaro is like “you can’t just trust random stand users josuke :/ what was he like” and josuke is like “oh he seemed fine though.... well kind of weird. like i trust him but he also seemed strange i can’t put my finger on it.” and jotaro (extremely tired) is like “and you’re sure you can trust this guy.” and josuke is like “yeah well he said he’s fought a lot of evil stand users before... and also that he can possess people like aqua necklace did except his stand is like.... made of snakes or something” (he only saw hierophant unraveled) and jotaro is like “sure. whats this guy look like i wanna know what i should be looking for if we ever run into each other” bc hes like umm okay well that stand sounds like. um. and josuke is like “i don’t know he’s just like, a guy. he was wearing a jacket and his hair was brown” and jotaro’s like “that’s all?” and josuke is like “yeah i guess”

so after these interactions kakyoin leaves the conversation like “well plenty of people are tall and wear hats. that stand certainly didn’t sound like star platinum so i have nothing to worry about.” and similarly jotaro is like “well josuke didn’t mention his facial scars or that his eyes are purple or that he’s a wheelchair user or anything so it definitely can’t be kakyoin.”

but then the morning that josuke’s grandfather dies he’s told them both to meet him at his house and jotaro gets there first and is the one to open the door when kakyoin arrives and they make eye contact and they’re both completely fucking horrified and an abba song starts playing in jotaro’s head (waterloo) and another different abba song starts playing in kakyoin’s head (mamma mia) but kakyoin is still extremely severely lethally pissed off at jotaro for ghosting him for a decade so most of the rest of the part that involves the two of them being in the same room is just extremely tense and awkward and every time jotaro very weakly tries to get kakyoin to open up to him again and rekindle their friendship kakyoin is like “i would say you’re a stupid son of a bitch but i would never insult holly-san like that just because you’re such an utter disappointment of a man. you are the worst person i’ve ever met and if you died i would laugh and clap. i can’t wait for you to go to hell. fuck you.” but then jotaro does almost die that one time and kakyoin does not laugh or clap :/

and well i guess eventually after that there’s some sort of reconciliation. and also at some point kakyoin runs out of funds for renting his own hotel room because he’s not being funded by the speedwagon foundation to do so and hotels are expensive so he just moves into jotaro’s room and forces him to sleep on the couch. you get the picture

also there’s a scene where josuke and okuyasu and yukako are all hanging out (Without Koichi) chatting at the outdoor seating of that cafe or something maybe. and josuke is like “man what is it with kakyoin-san and jotaro-san? kakyoin-san really hates him and i can’t figure out why” because neither of them thought to mention to josuke that their meeting at his house was not the first time they ever met, like, as far as any of the kids know they do not know each other from anywhere else. and yukako is like “well jotaro is divorced. so obviously kakyoin is his ex husband.” and okuyasu is like “what? no way.... jotaro-san was never married...” and josuke is like “yeah come on yukako where did you hear that from :/” and yukako is like “he is. he told koichi. he has a kid and everything. and the tension between him and kakyoin is obviously beyond that of two strangers who don’t get along. you boys really should be more observant about these things.” and they’re like “but jotaro-san isn’t gay.... right??” (they also still think they themselves are straight at this point) and yukako’s like “are you fucking serious” and it takes a while but eventually she does have them fully convinced that kakyoin and jotaro used to be married and are now divorced even though they never even actually dated

that’s it

[athys-obelia]

summary: no one's evil au lmfaooo but make it pt. 2

character/s: anastacius de alger obelia, claude de alger obelia, athanasia de alger obelia, jennette de alger obelia

and here's part 1 <3

oh my god okay. okay. so.

ana, claude, athy and jennette - they go on a LOT of vacations

claude complains every single time but anastacius pulls his trump card and sends athy and jettie BOTH after him

u think he's strong enough to say no after that? lmao jokes

and their vacations always go this way:

jennette: isn't this scenery just gorgeous, uncle

claude: indeed it is. and...quiet

jennette: ...too quiet

[cut to anastacius in the distance, fighting a bear as athy cheers him on]

athy + anastacius, hands down the most chaotic pairing yes i will not be taking criticism

they have tea in ana's palace everyday, just the two of them, they're so poised and picture perfect through the entire thing everyone thinks it's just the emperor giving profound advice to his heir

it's actually them deadass scheming,,, ana has no qualms discussing everything from court gossip to military tactics, both of which she's so on top of all the time

if anyone shit talks jennette or claude, this tea party is where their slow and agonizing demise is planned out to the dot

[true story - count sivan once made the fatal mistake of expressing his favour for athy as the next empress, dissing jennette by comparing her to athy sm which inevitably sparked a debate that ranked the princesses. a week after athy's sources informed her of the kindling behind this new debate, the count's sudden divorce became the talk of the town, and the man's business faced bankruptcy all of a sudden. the sivans still haven't recovered.)

athy n jennette were actually allowed to visit kiel in arlanta a few times, except it was too dark at their first arrival, postponing the meeting to the next morning

buttt then jettie can't sleep and she decides on a midnight snack run (their hotel doesn't really have the maids the palace does, but oh well. she's left the palace w lucas n athy plenty of times)

felix tags along btw, he knows this trip is important to the girls since they're leaving the palace without their Overprotective Papas™ for the first time and want some sense of independence, but... she's just so smol n he couldn't bear it if anything happens so he just shadows her

she totally knows he's there

n e ways so there's a juice place right beside their hotel which she aims for, but when jennette reaches it, it's closed

and out of nowhere, a voice addresses her - "hey you, do you come here a lot?" she nearly jumps out of her skin at the brunette, relaxing when she sees he's literally a kid around her age and not a murderer lmfaoo "me neither," he continues without waiting for her, pouting at the closed sign, before he asks for her name and whether she's new in arlanta

she confirms that yes, she's only visiting, and refuses to tell the stranger her name, still feeling strange at being addressed as 'you' for the first time (well, minus lucas, but he was like her brother and had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon, so)

he eyes her. "you're so weird. i've never seen a girl out so late before, and alone too. are you stupid?"

(felix has his sword out at this point)

she's flushing now and has no idea why she's still out here, but then this stranger kid apparently senses her mood and tells her the best ice cream store in arlanta is not too far away

(he also explains he knows someone who's starts doing weird things when she's hungry as well, and tries to defend that ice cream is actually a healthy midnight snack, "you can just take a healthy flavour like strawberry or mango, mangos are healthy,,right"💀️💀)

so jettie has travelled all the way from obelia, she loves her papa but he would have a heart attack if he found out she was ever awake this late?? yeah bc she's never getting this chance again, jennette accepts the offer

the stranger boy seems to be taking the whole "i'm not telling you my name," thing like a joke, and asks what he should call her since 'you' was getting boring

she goes with "lady j" and like a knight, the boy becomes "sir c"

(felix is on the verge of committing a crime - the princesses can only have one knight, after all)

they walk as the the boy navigates the streets in the dark, and she asks whether he's from the academy, seeing his uniform

"of course i am! you could probably tell bc i look so smart, right?"

she snorts. "yeah, that."

she also comes to know that this guy,,,well he might as well be a tourist? she's out here asking stuff like "oh where's the statue of lady alphia?" or "aren't we really close to the museum where they keep the first emperor's sword?" and he goes "lady do i look like your brochure?? but if you turn right from here there's a cool arcade and across the street from there is the best street food vendor you'll ever eat from."

well at least mans had his priorities straight 😌

"so can you take this off?" he asks, pointing towards her dress once they've neared the store

um???????? sir tf????????????

anyways jettie has been living with lucas n her dad farr too long to not take this the wrong way?? "...no?"

the boy raises an eyebrow "look, it looks like an expensive cloak but i promise i'll return it, alright? i gotta hide my uniform."

ohhhhhhh. 😳.

so she unfastens the cloak and because he's kinda just staring at it cluelessly (he can't even tie his shoelaces fight me), jennette sighs and moves the clothing over his shoulder, fastening it in place at his neck

he's literally a tomato when she looks back up and realises that yes, we are way too close rn

bc she's ana's daughter, jennette by default cannot function when she's flustered. so she kinda stumbles backwards like a fish out of water (years of princess training n etiquette? where art thou??) and 'sir c' has to grab her forearm so she doesn't bump into the pillar behind her smfh

the shopkeep is definitely suspicious of this pair that's definitely too young to be out so late, but chalks it down to his sleeplessness

they escape the store with the ice cream before the shopkeep can ask any questions, and 'sir c' escorts jennette back to her hotel. he climbs onto the roof of the building, helping her up as well

(felix wishes he had a magic stone to capture this moment, this is the first time he's seen jennette become such fast friends with someone)

she stands on the roof (it hurts her butt so she doesn't wanna sit)

"my sister would be so jealous right now," jennette murmurs, "she told me her ideal first date would be either a picnic or something like a moonlit walk. we're having like a moonlit picnic."

it's silent for a few seconds the boy speaks up, "is this a date?"

oh-

oh.

"i mean- i didn't- i don't- uh."

give her some time lmfao she's loading

"i don't really mind that," he tells her, and she thinks she might just walk off the roof in her embarrassment - who just says something like that?? "you're probably feeling really lucky right now, right?"

jennette: ✊😔

he does look pretty in the moonlight, she admits to herself, listening as he excitedly tells her about his siblings at home and how she should send an offering to the gods since they gave her the good fortune to be on a date with the most good looking one of all four of them

in turn, she tells him about how she spent her childhood away from her amazing dad and had gotten closer to him recently, about her sharp-witted uncle, her sister and friends

(the 'friends' section includes felix and he's melting)

she smiles - it's almost as if, at finding out he treasures his family just as much as she does, they've gotten a bit closer

and he tries to listen. jennette had guessed that his temperament was somewhat like her dad's - her dad didn't know how to listen, always making his opinion known before anything else, though she supposes as emperor he could do that

'sir c', on the other hand, tried his best, his blue eyes focused on her as he almost burst from the unsaid words he was holding back, trying to let her finish. the sight was an odd mix of sad and insanely adorable that she couldn't help but let him tell her about everything he couldn't hold in

sensing she could pass out from her exhaustion nearly half an hour later, and 'sir c' escorts her to her window and helps her sneak in bc "what sort of knight would i be otherwise?!"

(felix can't stop shaking the entire night)

the next morning, jennette's heart is pounding as kiel shows her, athy and felix across campus - the chance is low, but still...

"ezekiel!" comes a voice, and the four watch as a turquoise haired boy waves down the alpheus heir "are these the guests you mentioned?"

kiel introduces the trio to johannes vastia before asking, "where's cabel?"

"at the training grounds, he asked if you could bring everyone there so he could show them around there."

"... they're my guests though?"

athy is quick to befriend johannes (i mean she and his sister are practically the same person, so) and at the grounds, jennette's blood runs cold

(so does felix's)

the brunette doesn't notice her at first, arguing with johannes about something as kiel introduces him as cabel ernst

jennette is hyperventilating?? actually back up is this girl even breathing??

cabel ernst from kiel's letters? the 'loud and obnoxious cabel ernst', who gradually turned into 'my acquaintance cabel ernst', then 'hardworking, passionate cabel ernst', and finally 'my friend cabel'?

she'd actually rather admired this slow build of respect between her friend and the ernst boy, and had even expressed her interest to meet him

"this is the first daughter of his highness prince claude de alger obelia, princess athanasia-" cabel mock salutes the princess before his mouth forms an 'o' and he remembers to bow, "-and here's the emperor's only daughter, her highness princess je-"

andddd his eyes widen comically "-hey, lady, it's you?"

yeah jettie is on the brink of literal death - her entire face reddens as this...cabel, grins at her

she watches as he glances behind her, "and you're the guy who was following us - sup?"

felix flinches "...you knew...?"

cabel shrugs. "i mean you do kinda suck ass at the whole subtle thing."

"don't say it like that," jennette retorts, "felix was trying his best."

"princess 😭😭 you knew as well?"

"uhhhh no?"

athy + kiel in a corner: 👁️👄👁️

they watch as cabel's eyes widen all of a sudden and he just,,,runs away

...🐦...🐦...🐦...

yeah well anyway he comes rushing back a few minutes later, a piece of cloth in his hand "...*huff* here *huff*...you go."

athy totally flips out "jennette is that your CLOAK???!??"

"uhhhhh no?"

"um do you realise uncle would literally wage war at this."

and as if it would make everything better,

"i washed it," cabel offers with a grin

"you didn't," the vastia heir deadpans

"i mean, johan helped a little bit."

kiel smiles murderously at the pair. "johan, did you know cabel took the princess out?"

"wait, you're a PRINCESS??"

your honour they aren't very smart

so the group orders some coffee (milk for cabel smfh) to find out what happened, cabel mentions "date" and everything goes to shit again lmfao

kiel and felix scheme against poor cabel while athy n johan get over that stage pretty quick ("listen. MY sister will be living with ME after the marriage and if your friend wants to be with her he'll have to come with us to obelia." and johan's just like "fine by me ✌️😊") and start planning the wedding

cabel + jennette dip n sneak out of the academy again to get the juice they couldn't the night before bc shit is getting awkward here

on another note, our uncle cius' musical intelligence is actually very high - he can probably play more instruments than i can name tbh, but he feels most comfortable singing and i shit you not, this man has straight up an angel's voice

(didn't like singing in front of others coz he was secretly a nerd and only knew old love songs with deep lyrics, athy found out and educated him)

jennette tends to have nightmares often, most often regarding their family - she's seen her father murder her uncle for the throne, and vice versa, athy admitting her affections towards jennette were a front to get the position of crown princess, her uncle killing her to solidify athy's claim, etc - her family is her everything, so despite however many times these horrible scenes play before her, she's left sobbing uncontrollably

and on these nights, she leaves for her father's room, who holds her close and sings her to sleep

also lucas n jennette are like sibling duo# 1,,, jettie is an active lucathy shipper even though he denies it sm - like their dynamic is just peaceful walks in the gardens as she watches the plants n lucas shi talks the nobility and kiel

claude and athy have a thing for each other's sleeping on each other? idk it's weird

athy once fell asleep on the couch while reading with him, and claude moved her head onto his lap so she wouldn't be uncomfy sitting - well, she woke up to his hand absentmindedly raking through her hair and it was just so soothing that whenever she's tired and he's working or reading, she just plops her head on his lap and zzzz

and claude wondered what was up with that, so she proposed they switch roles and he felt so awkward trying to lay down in front of her lmao

obviously athy noticed and she just started reading, thinking he might be more comfortable if her attention isn't on him completely - she ended up reading out loud while playing with his collar and he just,,,passed out

also anastacius has definitely pulled jennette aside regarding the issue of his heir at some point - she had been hesitant at first before admitting she wouldn't like to be the empress at all

i know we'd all love to see empress!jettie and her sister duchess!athy ruling the court, but i really really really can't see her wanting the title?

so thus start athy's empress lessons, but holy shit her teacher is mean

like this man makes me want to bash his face in?? so he doesn't like the idea of athy becoming empress over jennette at all, all bc of both hers and claude's mothers being commoners

he has one of those long ass sticks that you use in presentation to point at stuff?? idk but basically mans has athy name every region, its lords and their vassals during their first lesson

the first time she gets one wrong, she's too shocked as the stick meets the delicate skin of her forearm to react

now the thing is, wmmap!athy would probably stand up against this bc her dad is the emperor and she's his only heir, but i imagine with anastacius' social nature he holds many parties / balls where she's probably heard claude's mom + diana slander and it wouldn't be unreasonable for her to be self conscious abt it (now she's the emperor's heir while jennette, 100% royal + noble blood, is right there which probably makes her feel even less legitimate)

so she endures it, the light marks on her arms as well as the taunts of his she's too smart to not understand - perhaps this is the price to be accepted in jennette's place?

and honestly, no one really notices until at breakfast a few weeks in, where jennette mentions how her dresses are still so modest when sleeveless dresses were more in fashion - ana is suspicious because athy is always on top of these things, societal trends and such, and claude is sus from the way she hesitates slightly in her answer, "i haven't had the time lately, i suppose"

the lesson after focuses on ettiquete since everyone knows she's good at politics and such already, but now tears of frustration are pooling in her eyes because what the hell?? this guy had made an opinion of her long before he even met her, so anything she did would be wrong in his eyes

he gives her a sinister smile, "tired, princess?"

"no," she insists, keeping her voice level. he's about to spout some other nonsense, when anastacius enters the room, taking a seat across from her

anastacius watches quietly as athy answers the teacher's questions in her "public" voice. he watches as her usually cheery disposition is replaced by something far more...dead, despite the front she puts on for him. he's soundless as she hesitates in her answers where she normally would've been louder, more confident. he stops watching in silence when his niece flinches at the sight of the stick

oh.

he interrupts her lesson, not missing the way she winces almost imperceptibly when he grabs ahold of her arm, announcing, "we're going."

he just- it's just that that was the moment he knew for sure - the sight of his niece emotionally disheveled for the first time reminds him too much of how his own brother had once been, and he'd... he'd promised he wouldn't let anyone hurt his family anymore

he ends up taking her to the port with some of his advisors to welcome some royal guests, insisting that she would learn better from experience rather than books - but the guest delegation gets so boring that he sneaks her out of the meeting n they end up in the streets

now athy has no idea where they are, but apparently her uncle does?? ana has his hand on her head as he navigates the streets of the capitol as if he comes here everyday, using magic to casually disguise the two of them

in the meantime?

felix is at the port trying to cover for them smfh, he makes up this huge story about how the great wise emperor wanted to familiarize his heir with the locals, understand her subjects, yada yada

back at the palace prince claude is currently dragging a man by his collar and only upon jennette's insistence does he throw him in prison rather than literally kill him

(jettie visits him later in prison to give the guy a piece of her mind, after felix's visit he's sporting a few noticable bruises and the prisoner is practically unrecognizable once lucas visits)

back to athy + ana, they end up stuffing themselves with some super good street food as anastacius confesses that yes, he has definitely been sneaking out of the palace ever since he was a lil kid

athy almost mentions that she, lucas n jettie sneak out too but that might give him a heart attack, so

"it's so pretty, uncle cius," she says, gesturing towards the necklace he holds up. once he's paid for it, anastacius fists the necklace, opening it to reveal the jewel pendant - now imbued with his magic and replaced with gold lettering of the word athanasia

and she realises that yes, that's what both him and her dad have called her all her life, haven't they?

"you're my heir, athanasia," he uncle tells her with a small smile, "i am proud of that."

getting teary, she tells him, "i'm really proud of you too, uncle cius," triggering a very flustered + blushy anastacius

this mans craves validation - not from the sycophantic nobility, or the obsequious concubines he'd dismissed all those years ago, but from the family he thought he'd neither have nor deserve

and just the acknowledgement is so large for athy - he wants her as his heir, not because she's his niece, but bc he trusts her to look after his hard work after him??? - yeah she's totally bawling her eyes out

anastacius magics her a handkerchief but my mans magic isn't that strong?? lmao he's used up so much by now that the 'handkerchief' turns out to be some scratchy tissues

awkward amirite

nope! athy laughs at that, offering him a sip of her drink as she magics another straw and a proper handkerchief lmfaoo

n e ways so when they return, everyone's shocked to learn that the crown heir, princess athanasia will actually be joining the official circles as anastacius' temporary aid - he doesn't wanna entrust her to anyone but family, and decides that the best way to learn is by his side

(she's so confused bc lucas doesn't normally bat an eyelash when she wears the prettiest gowns, but he deadass can't look her in the eyes when she's in her aid uniform - it's more like a suit than it is a dress)

yes lucas women in suits >>>>>

everyone is STUNNED when at dinner, claude proposes they leave on vacation??

anastacius is just not having it?? like no, this is not my brother, and he throws a grape at claude to check if it's a clone or sum (¿¿how does that work??)

anyays so he ain't no felix, ana's aim is ass and it hits jettie instead

mans nearly gets on his knees to apologise

long story short everyone preps for vacation, but by some aCCiDeNt claude n athy end up at a different destination than jettie n ana, when she suggests returning to the palace to regroup, mans deadass sulks

"so you wouldn't like to spend this time with your father, despite barely visiting my office for weeks?"

o-oh

so at their return, the nobility starts pestering everyone that the princesses aren't independent enough, yada yada idc so to quell this annoyance, to the girls' joy, they get to move into emerald palace together, while claude and ana stay in the ruby and main palaces respectively

literally emerald palace becomes such a cool place to be in since it's the residence of the only decent people in this family, the brothers spend hours going through the requests of maids who want to be transferred

it's such a busy time because of athy joining the court and jettie starting her studies as well - naturally, since she isn't becoming empress, she'll be getting the duchy claude + athy were to be given in the beginning

speaking of futures, jettie's interest in plants and cooking has definitely branched out into herbs

claude notices her tending to a small garden during his visit to athy and even gives her a few tips (he had been studying medical since he was a kid, and picked it up again when athy was born and the empire stablised somewhat)

this soon becomes a routinely thing, and he actually starts reading up on some herbs and even orders a few for her prospering garden

after a month of her learning from books, claude proposes adding a medic as one of her teachers, and turns out his hunch was right?? she's excelling at medicine and they keep it between themselves for the time being

it doesn't last long though, bc they're on a hunting trip when ana injures his leg

and !! this girl istg, she gets to cleaning and wrapping the wound without blinking an eye, as if it's the most natural thing ever, and claude is just smirking while athy and anastacius and literally everyone else: 🌟💞✨jettie✨💞🌟

literal tears coming out of anastacius' eyes "how come my daughter is smarter than me😭💅"

claude: that's not a very high standard, brother

anastacius: ✨suddenly i'm an only child✨

behold, the people in charge of running an empire everyone 👏👏👏

even though jennette is claude's (unofficial) student and athy is her uncle's heir, they both ask their dads to the debutante

yes athy does dance with lucas, anastacius sent him an invitation even though he wasn't a noble (he's an active match maker 😌) and nobody dared question the emperor's special guest

at the end of the night, kiel gives jettie a letter from arlanta - it's an invitation to the academy during holidays, from a certain brunette

when she brings up the subject, felix lets out a squeak and literally everyone goes silent 😭😭

athy n kiel are just out here DARING him to spill them beans

but anastacius takes on look at his excited lil kid and decides that yups, she's going to get everything she wants

a/n: i literally don't know how many parts this should have lmaoo but y'all made it this far!! thanks for reading i hope you liked it<3

[iceglade]

long thoughts i had while listening to dreams 🤓podcast🤓

obsessed with the idea of saving time like with the wayback machine and traveling to select saved/marked/preserved moments like that

get me in the ring coach i wanna talk to dream about it. gonna hit em with the "yeah we can but Should we" just to see what he does

im a big advocate for putting together an ethics committee cause we're only gonna need one More as time goes on and hardware/SOFTWARE advances.. especially software

cApItAlIsM LeAdS tO iNnOvAtIoN yeah when they want to empty the clouds before a big sports event, but the simultaneously dumbest and most important question here is whos gonna pay for using it where people Need it not that they Need that when there are simpler tech options to fix stuff like world hunger and global warming literally we could solve every single problem listed right NOWWWWW its just that NOBDOY WANTS TO FUCKING PAY FOR ITTT CAPITALISM IS SO GOOOOOOD .. OBVIOUS SARCASM ...

hes talking about technically everything being useless except for your brain.. yeah dream the only reason thats the case is we dont understand how the brain works. if we understand how the brain works we wont even need the biomass there too

im allowed to say dreams dumb because im smarter than him and i also love all these topics

"DIE EARLY I DONT CARE"

hfjgj hes just wow'ed by the possibilities open to us huh... hes also totally stuck at step 1 bc chat is so so miserably stupid

well. having muscles and spending the energy to move around helps regulate our system. its like when you go onto space and 0 gravity ..

i mean yeah you can drug yourself with endorphins too. is that as valid a way to live as any?

why do we need all this? it CAN be made but there are so many more things to consider than just innovation innovation innovation fast fast fast. a genuine question to consider is, when does convenience start cutting out things that can't be calculated? but yknow what AI struggling with soft sciences is like the whole big question right now so im gonna move on

"METEORITES"

that seems so painful to have to crack open meteorites to fulfill future water demands. why cant we just maintain the cycles instead? i mean like yeah i can think "ai does the math automated controlled detonation system" but thats doing too much. i'd just occams razor that bitch. earth has its own system why do we have to make our own less efficient system other than just to just be able to say we did it. like its cool but inefficient you might as well program your grocery delivery bot to perform a musical number before it lets you touch your food. its dumb

climate change fixing, actually i was on tiktok and someone made a video about how they fixed the acid rain from the 60s i think. which was deincentivizing companies by putting a cap on pollution levels, giving them buyable passes, allowing them to buy them from Each Other, and then making it more monetarily profitable to invest in green energy and sell off their pollution passes. like. thats FUNNY. and that WORKED.

trueeee change and development takes time but it also takes money. time for the people below, money for the people above 🤓🥸

i personally want horses to come back.

like yas i hate gas cars

bring back the horse

its true that prices lower as tech gets less and less expensive to make and mass produced, all ethics on THAT topic aside, but this makes me think of going to the store and seeing massive, beautiful tvs that would have been thousands in 2010, selling for 400 just sitting on the floor. the opulence of this fucking era occasionally hits me when im in a grocery store surrounded by food just sitting there...

empathy huh.. off topic tangent, but i'm a firm believer in that hereditary inherited trauma/genetic memories, i completely believe thats an actual thing, and when i have to think about humanity i think about how we're all beings made up of layers upon layers of ideas that Worked. if it didnt Work we would not have Been here. thats how evolution works, yeah? if we were to program a robot to feel empathy and to have consciousness, would we follow that same process to have it generate its humanity? how else would we create consciousness? or maybe we could follow the octopus format of having multiple computation centers that communicate.. is that any less or any more valid a form of consciousness than anything else ... i wonder what dream would say on these topic. and yet ALL OF THIS is totally moot once ai develop to think faster and bigger than us because i cant

i think ai would have as many limits as humans do. its a hardware vs software situation just like everything else

i wanna be like "living as a robot is just another way to live, chase your happiness" but do i really wanna get into the social when dreams already moved on in the podcast okay

ROBOT REPRODUCTION.. ELIMINATE BABIES ENTIRELY .. though i agree, there's still developing to do even if you could download worldly knowledge and experience directly into a newborn's head.

oh he circled back around to it, but i also really appreciate having the option to do it even if i dont. or to Not do it even if i Do. just on principle. but that's MY view on the world

life purpose and meaning huh ...

i like that dream optimistic, though. its one of the things that makes him matter so much to me.

the people who are causing climate change can be MADE to care, though. it's possible.

well. asking this question to the universe but do we really have to hit rock bottom before anything gets done? why does everything have to be a tragedy? cant we just solve the problem before its the World End? why does it always have to be this way?

i hope dream is enjoying his ice 🥺

i agree. humans are cockroach-like. we really are the biggest threat to ourselves.

disaster events always gets everyones priorities in order. but i really wish it didnt have to be so dire for that to occur. why does this always have to be the case

OH HERE WE GO AGAIN. GHOSTS ARE SCIENCE

THATS THE PROBLEM DREAM BELIEVES IN HEART BUT HE DOESNT BELIEVE IN SPIRIT. "they could. anything's technically possible i dont think my view is the only right view but based on my worldview i dont believe in ghosts because theres no evidence pointing to it whatsoever so i dont have any reason to believe it" YOU'LL SEE. YOU'LL ALL SEE

"so whats up" nothin much man whats up with you

the fucking word hunt sounds im crying

okay post over thanks for reading guys

put me in the ring coach id love to talk with you!!!!!!

[astorytotellyourfriends]

ok ok ok ok here we go

for peterpatter: 3, 12, 13, 26

for lukebobby but! you have to answer with only fall out boy songs and you can't use miss missing you bc i already did: 7, 8, 9, 10, 20, 22, 27

and just for funsies: 5

you said you wanted me to torture you, i hope this isn't too much lol <3

YESSSS I'M SO PUMPED FOR THIS LET'S GOOOO

peterpatter

3: A song that reminds you of summertime

OH OH OH WITH YOU AROUND BY YELLOWCARD!!!! my fave song of theirs possibly ever, it's so bouncy and it's so summery and so very our two fave himbos 🥺

12: A song from your preteen years

ohhhhhh if we're going preteen then it's you're my number one by s club 7 bc it's a BOP and so very much about one-sided/oblivious love it kills me!

13: One of your favorite 80’s songs

oh no my heart! time after time by cyndi lauper thank u goodbye i'm gonna go cry

26: A song that makes you want to fall in love

is it cheating to use a song i'm using in the mountain man au? oh well i don't care i'm using surrender by birdy bc it's so wistful and heartbreaking and i just wanna roll around on the floor and cry.

lukebobby feat fall out boy

7: A song to drive to

OHHHHH my songs know what you did in the dark bc imagine these two idiots barreling down the road with this BLASTING and singing their hearts out!!!

8: A song about drugs or alcohol

UGH I'M TORN so i'm picking two ok i've got the mighty fall and novocaine. honestly putting these two together is HEARTBREAKING because it starts with falling in love with someone but not knowing how fucked up they are and then once you realize it, it's way too late.

9: A song that makes you happy

i'm sorry who's happy when listening to fall out boy??? pls. for this i'm going with one of my fave songs, favorite record. it makes me so happy!! it's just so full of joy and HOPE and LOVE............. and now i'm emo. don't talk to me.

10: A song that makes you sad

all of them. especially golden.

20: A song that has many meanings to you

oooohhhhh heaven's gate. honestly this could be from either one's point of view and it's equally devastating. like!! luke thinking he's not good enough for bobby and doing EVERYTHING he can to make himself good enough!!! or bobby knowing he's bad for luke but always going back because he just can't NOT be with luke!!! my heart hurts, jay why are you doing this to me???

22: A song that moves you forward

young volcanoes. c'mon make it easy, say i never mattered - run it up the flagpole. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

27: A song that breaks your heart

ALL OF THEM WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND??? specifically wilson (expensive mistakes) bc there's nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody but you. 💔💔💔💔💔💔

just for funsies

5: A song that needs to be played LOUD

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

[robert-de-niro-only-fans]

The Lesser of Two Evils

Jimmy Conway x Paulie's Daughter Reader

Just felt like writing for Jimmy... Also bc I like @yesbelladoesstuff 's man more than my own apparently 😂😝

TW: mentions of crime, mention of age gap, implied smut

Word Count: 3k

After four long years full of hard work and missing your family, college was finally over! You hadn't gone far for college, and you visited as possible, but the work load of college doesn't always allow for that. For Paulie, it was important that you get a degree, even if you didn't have a "real" job after college; he just knew you were too smart, and you knew it would make him so proud that his little girl finished college.

You moved home on a Thursday after finals and took Friday to just spend time with your dad and the rest of your immediate family, before the rest of your "family" came over for the big party on Saturday. This included Tommy, Henry, and Jimmy and all the various "uncles" your dad did business with. It was a closed circle of people.

You had been home for holidays and summers in between semesters, but towards the end of college, you really started to realize that you weren't in the loop like you used to be. Tommy had really grown into a well-respected mobster, and you respected that they may make him within the next few years. He was still hot headed as ever though. As for Henry, it seemed like he tried to hold off as long as he could, as he had always had a huge crush on you, and everyone, including Paulie, had placed bets on when you two would get together. But he had started going out with this girl named Karen. You had only met her a few times, but you had heard that she kept Henry on the straight and narrow. Good for her.

Jimmy hadn't had too much change in his life during your years at college, except that he had too younger mobsters to help him on his various jobs. He made a lot more money because of them! You never thought when you went to college that you would find yourself missing Jimmy as much as you did; of course, you had always been close with him just like you were with Tommy and Henry, but there was just something about him. He was always very cool, and his jokes were few and far between but hilarious when he told them. He had always been protective over you in a way the other two weren't, you guessed because he was older, but he also let you get away with stuff your dad would've had a heart attack over. Hell, Jimmy encouraged bad behavior.

And that's where you found yourself early Saturday afternoon: fighting off thoughts of Jimmy, and a little nervous to see him because of it.

The table is all set, covered in a black table cloth, with gold and silver decorations everywhere to celebrate your graduation. A few dishes full of your favorite foods are set out, and more will arrive as the family does.

As the family pours in, the table fills with dishes and becomes surrounded by people you've known practically your whole life. You are handed envelopes full of cash, each one thicker than the last. That's how you did presents in this business.

You wondered where the boys were... It's unusual that they didn't show up first.

After a while, Henry arrives with Karen and they greet you with the usual hugs and kisses on the cheek; you can tell Karen is still getting used to greeting people like this. "Glad you have you home, (Y/N)! Congrats!" Henry exclaims. Rather than money, they gift you with a beautiful set of jewelry. You knew Karen was good for Henry, and now you know she has good taste.

"Oooh, there she is!" Jimmy yells as he's coming in the door. Tommy and Jimmy show up right after Henry and Karen. They were likely all hanging out before coming over, but you had to wonder why they didn't just take the same car. Tommy hands you a stack of cash, like he was taught to do, giving you kisses on your cheeks and a sincere congrats for graduating. Before you can really finish up your conversation with Tommy, Jimmy is scooping you up into his arms and twirling you around playfully, earning a squeal from you. "Atta girl! We knew you could do it!" He lets you down gently and pulls you in for a proper hug. "Congratulations, (Y/N). You know everyone here is so proud of you."

As you move back into the dining room and living room to rejoin the party and visit with everyone, Jimmy's hand lingers on you: your shoulder blades, the small of your back, wrapped lightly around your hip. He had always been a bit handsy with you; it's just how you two were with one another, but today it's affecting you more than usual.

Jimmy is wrapped up in a conversation about something he's been bootlegging with one of the uncles, so you turn to him to say, "Hey Jimmy, in gonna go sit with my dad at the table, 'cause I think we're eating soon. I'll save you a seat next to me, if you want it."

"Okay, sweetie, I'll be there in a little while."

You walk away taking a deep breath to try and clear your mind. Had you always felt this way about Jimmy or had something changed?

You say next to your dad and leaned your head on his shoulder.

"Hey there, girlie! You enjoying the party? Everything okay?"

"Yeah I'm okay. It's good seeing everyone again, and knowing that I get to stay home for good this time."

Paulie puts his arms around you, squeezing you tight. He always gave the best hugs! "I'm so happy you're back home. It's been pretty lonely without my girl here... Now I'm gonna have to beat off guys with a stick to keep you here," he lets out a chuckle.

"Oh, Dad, I'm not going anywhere, and you know that. Besides, Henry went and got a girlfriend, so there goes my only shot at a boyfriend."

"Now, you know Henry wasn't your only option. What about Tommy?"

You both look across the room to see Tommy flirting with someone's daughter...

"Ehhh, no," you and your dad say in unison before having a big laugh together.

"Is this seat taken?"

You look over your shoulder to see Jimmy standing behind the chair next to you, "Reserved for you."

"Oh, good!" Jimmy takes a moment to say hello to Paulie before sitting down next to you.

Paulie stands up to announce that it's time to eat, but first he makes a small speech to let everyone know how proud he is of you for finishing college, and that you were always too bright and talented to belong to him.

While Paulie is standing at the head of the table, Jimmy reaches over to your lap under the table and takes your hand in his. You look at him, trying to hide that he's affected you in any way. He gives you a small smirk, and rubs his thumb over yours for just a moment before letting your hand go.

Paulie takes his seat, and people start spooning food out of dishes and into their plates, and you're left wondering what just happened and what was meant by it.

Luckily, the rest of dinner was pretty uneventful, and the food was always so tasty. After everyone got their bellies full, everyone mingled wherever they liked around the house. Some went into the backyard to get a small bonfire going so some of the kids could have roasted marshmallows; some of the guys started inside the house and started pulling out cards and chips and stacks of money; many of the wives gather in the kitchen or the living room to talk all the latest gossip.

You notice Tommy, Jimmy, Henry, and Karen taking lowly and giggling with one another in a small circle. Normally they would've invited you over, so there's definitely something suspicious going on.

"(Y/N)!" Paulie says, waving you over, "come here, kiddo."

"Dad, I just finished college; I'm not really a kid anymore!" You give him a laugh and walk over to him.

He puts an arm over your shoulders and says, "Well, you'll always be my kid." He pauses for a moment before looking across the room and yelling, "Conway!"

The room quiets down, waiting for Jimmy's response. All of the guys and Karen turn to you and your dad. "Yes, Paulie?" Jimmy says with a smug look on his face.

"When you came in here, I didn't see you give my little girl any presents for her graduation. No cash, no cute little boxes with bows. What's the matter with you?" Paulie voice is raised so everyone can hear him. This is very odd behavior, as he normally handles things pretty quietly, so you know something is up.

"Well, ya see, Paulie..." Jimmy starts walking towards you, "I didn't hand her any envelope full of 50s, and I didn't give her any boxes with bows, because what I got for her was too big to fit through the front door." Jimmy lowers his voice to a whisper now that he's in front of you. "You wanna go see your present?"

You now realize that your dad and the guys are all in on some kind of surprise.

"Yes, please."

That's all Jimmy needs to hear before he's picking you up to take you outside. Henry and Tommy rush to the door to open it, and everyone that heard what was going on follows you outside to see what the surprise is.

You and Jimmy can't stop giggling while there are lots of hoots and hollers from everyone gathering outside with you. Jimmy lets you down and spins you around so you're facing the driveway. Sitting there is a beautiful black muscle car with a big gold bow on the hood.

He wraps his arms around your waist and whispers in your ear, "You like it, princess?"

"I- uh... yes," you can barely get a response out; you certainly weren't expecting this. Jimmy was all about handing out money and giving expensive gifts, but nothing like this... He didn't like to do anything that would put this kind of attention on him.

"It's the one you said you wanted right?"

"Yes, Jimmy. It's perfect," you say with a huge smile as you turn to hug him. "Thank you so much!"

"Anything for you, (Y/N)." Jimmy pulls a key out of his pocket and hands it to you. You take it from him and run over to unlock the car and climb in. Immediately, Tommy climbs in the front seat next you you and is shouting, "C'mon! Let's take this thing on a spin!!" Henry and Karen climb in the back seat and Henry only starts egging you on saying, "Let's crank this thing up and get outta here, (Y/N)!"

"Okay, okay! We'll drive it, but only if Jimmy comes too. He paid for the thing after all!"

"Jimmy! Get your ass over here!" Tommy yells before climbing in the back seat with Henry and Karen.

Jimmy runs over and gets in the passenger seat next you you. "Try not to kill us, okay?"

You turn the key in the ignition and the engine fires up loudly, which gets Henry and Tommy rowdy in the back seat. All the people in the front yard were raising their glasses and cheering as you backed out of the driveway! Before driving away from the house, you slowed down and Jimmy rolled down his window so Paulie could pop his head in.

"You guys be careful, and don't let anything happen to that one right there," he says pointing to you.

"Hell, Paulie, she's the one you gotta worry about!" Henry pipes up getting a laugh out of everyone.

"Yeah, well..." he chuckles, knowing it's true and realizing his little girl is all grown up. "Happy graduation, baby; go have fun!"

"Thank you, Dad! Love you!" you yell before driving off, a little too fast.

• • •

After you, the guys, and Karen, whom you had really grown to like, had been driving around a while, you decide to stop off at a small park while the sun sets. It's a cute little public park with a lake, a pavilion with tables for picnics, a small playground for kids (naturally the boys go and play on the playground), and lots of open space with soft grass.

With the boys being boys running around chasing each other, you and Karen get some time to talk alone.

"Seems like you've got Henry tied down pretty well. Takes a tough lady to do that."

"Yeah, well he stood me up on our second date, and so I told him off in front of his friends. We been together since."

"Oh yeah, word got back to me on that one. You had all the guys pretty shocked," you say though a laugh, "They made fun of him a good bit for it, so he must like you a lot if he put up with that."

"Yeah, I think he does." She pauses for a minute. "I've heard from some people that Henry always had a crush on you, and that everyone thought you two would end up together. I'm sorry if I got in the way of that."

"Oh, no! No need to apologize. Henry liked me when we were kids, and it feels like more of a joke now than anything. I don't think I could deal with him as well as you do," you give her a reassuring smile.

"So, you gonna give Jimmy a shot?"

"Hmm? What? You mean Jimmy and me?" You stutter out.

"Yeah, I mean, I know he's older, but it seems like he really likes you!"

"You think Jimmy likes me?"

"Well, yeah girl! He bought you ya dream car!" She says excitedly, her New York accent really shining through.

"Karen!" Henry calls from the playground.

"Whaddayou want?!"

"Come over here, honey!"

You see Jimmy walking towards you and Karen, and notice that Tommy is flirting with some poor girl who was just out for a run. Karen says a quick goodbye to you and heads over to the playground where Henry is waiting for you.

When Jimmy's feet stop in front of yours, he extends a hand to you to help you up from your spot on the grass. He places his hand on the small of your back, and his long fingers delicately begin to lead you in the direction of your new car.

"Did you have a fun time playing with your friends on the playground?" You poke a little fun at him.

"Would've had more fun if you were there," he raises his eyebrows and cracks a smile at you.

You laugh gently out your nose as you arrive at your car, "Whatcha bring me over here for?"

He takes you by the hips, lifting you up and placing you on the trunk of your car. He grabs your thighs and pulls you close to him, your knees brushing against either of his hips. "You like the car, angel?"

"Jimmy, wha-," you let out a shaky breath, "um, yes, it's beautiful."

"Mmmm, good." He brushes your hair behind your ear.

It suddenly becomes clear to you that what Karen had to say about Jimmy was true. In fact, with him standing between your legs like this, it couldn't be more obvious.

"Hey, Jimmy?"

"Yeah, baby doll?"

"Kiss me."

He raises his eyebrows, then looks at the ground for a moment. When he looks back up at you, he tangles a hand in your hair and presses his lips to yours softly at first, but he quickly deepens the kiss, exploring your mouth with his. You gently wrap one arm around his neck, and the other hand squeezes his waist through his shirt. He pulls you into him so your chest is pressed against his.

It feels weird kissing him, but it also feels right. Being with him like this feels like electricity, and you could feel like this forever and it still wouldn't be enough.

"Hey, hey, Jimmy!" Henry calls as him and Karen come up on you.

"Do not interrupt them!" You hear Karen say followed by a whap to Henry's arm.

Jimmy slowly pulls away from you, giving you probably the sweetest look you've ever seen him give. He pecks your lips a few more times before turning to Karen. "Thank you for hitting him."

You slide off the back of the car, putting your hand in Jimmy's.

"Listen, all I'm saying is, it's about time you got a kiss from her, you paid a lot of money for it!" Henry chuckles, slapping the trunk of your car.

"Listen, Henry Hill. I kiss who I want, when I want. And yes, I am grateful for the car, but Jimmy didn't buy my love," you cut your eyes at him.

"Yeah, that's right! What's the matter with you?" Karen backs you up.

Henry puts his hands up in surrender and tries to wipe the shit-eating grin off his face, "Alright, alright, geez!! Can someone go get Tommy so we can go home?"

Everyone gives him a look.

"Okay, fine! I'll go get him!" Henry jogs off to go get Tommy off that girl's back.

Funny enough, the girl ends up coming home with the group, Tommy landing another girl that he won't call in the morning. So you drop everyone off at their respective homes: Tommy and his girl at Tommy's place, Henry and Karen at Henry's place, and Jimmy invited you to his place. You knew Paulie would worry about you not coming home, but it would raise his blood pressure if he knew what you and Jimmy were up to.

It was really the lesser of two evils.

[ofkareenas]

.  ∘ ∗   :   🐝   𝙸𝙽𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙶   …

JANHVI KAPOOR, CIS WOMAN, TWENTY-FIVE, SHE / HER  ⟨  ✽  ⟩   hey, you haven’t bumped into  kareena puri  lately, have you? they have been living here for the past  two years  and during that time, locals have gotten to know them as  charismatic  &  creative.  a little birdie told me they can be quite  stubborn  &  opinionated  though. explains why they’re an online fashion brand owner and designer .  they really remind me of  morning beach walks, sketchbooks filled with new designs, the sound of a sewing machine running.  if you’re ever looking for them, i bet you can find them around port briar lighthouse.

hi again, it’s tally ! this is my second baby kareena !! she’s very new to me and it’s pretty exciting bc i tend to just recycle characters kjhfgkj again, if you’d like to plot, please reach out to me on dms, or you can like this and i’ll reach out. you can also talk to me on discord if you’d prefer that. ( gowon face insurance company#8416 ) also pls excuse how messy this is, i havent written a proper full intro in a while.

.  ∘ ∗   :   🐝   𝙱𝙸𝙾𝙶𝚁���𝙿𝙷𝚈   …

kareena puri

march 30th, 1996 - 25 yrs old ; aries

cis woman, she/her, bisexual (closeted to her family, not so much to anyone else)

born in mumbai, india. raised in seattle, washington.

currently residing in port briar, maine

pinterest board: here

TW / CW: none, other than a controlling family, which idk if it even should be tagged but yuh

kareena knew it, she was lucky compared to others. she had it better than some of her peers, and she recognized that privilege. but if she could trade her family life for a “normal” one, she would in the quick snap of a finger.

kareena’s family was pretty much old money. she came from a long line of doctors in almost every medical field, and they own so many private hospitals and clinics in many countries. if you happen to hear the Puri family name, you probably would associate it with these things: a big hospital that you probably drove by with your car or a surgeon that your doctor wanted to refer you to.

every child in the family was expected to go to med school. it was the only way to keep the family legacy and pride going. of course, the more new generations came in the family, the more there were those who decided to take different fields of work instead. and of course, the eldest members in the family would always voice their disappointment in them, and would always make sure to remind them that they’re a disgrace no matter how successful they are in whatever field they went into.

kareena didn’t know what she was doing at the young age of sixteen. her parents would boast about how she would be a successful doctor when she grows up, just like her older siblings, and how her younger siblings would be the same as well. all kareena did was nod and smile. she didn’t want this.

the thing is, she was a naturally great student with really good grades, and yet her parents would be disappointed if she got a B+ or even an A- on a subject every once in a while. she didn’t get it. she thought she was doing her best. although the complaining about her report cards was getting a bit too much coming from her mother, and that’s when kareena really started to not give a fuck. yes, she still got good grades for her own sake, but she started to do whatever she wanted. she hung out with kids her parents would call a bad influence, and started to skip some school days or go to parties on the weekends. it was fun and liberating to her.

once her senior year was over and kareena was graduated with a high school diploma, her family was back at it again, trying to get her to apply to all the notable medical schools out there. she had protested about it, and family fights ensued, and with some threats, kareena was forced into applying. next school year, she was in another city, studying to be a surgeon, and her mind wasn’t into it at all. she only lasted one year before she decided to drop out and transfer to FIDM, a fashion school in L.A, instead.

kareena has always been into fashion. the way she dressed would tell you so. how she was always on the latest fashion, and how she would have so many sketchbooks and scrapbooks of fashion related things. she loved making her own clothes at home with her sewing machine. her mother would tell her that it’s a nice hobby, but she never guessed that her daughter would want to pursue it as a career. the color drained out of her face when she saw what kareena had done. she was angry and disappointed, and mostly worried about what the rest of the family would say, more than she cared about her daughter’s wants and needs. kareena, however, didn’t care. she was happy. she moved out to be closer to campus, and soon enough after graduation, she left everything behind and decided to go somewhere quieter: port briar, maine. this was completely different from everything she was used to, it was so quiet and small, but she loved it. she finally feels at peace with herself.

now, kareena is a successful fashion designer. she started an online business, and it has been booming, with fashion influencers promoting her work. she was hoping that someday she would get to do bigger things, like making custom items for celebrities and being featured in fashion magazines and fashion weeks. she could only wish and work towards that for now.

and even with all of that, even when kareena had picked herself up from the ground on her own and built her own business, her family still didn’t approve. they still pretended to care about her, but would make sure to remind her of how disappointed they are in her and the path she’d taken. they would sit and wonder what it would’ve been like if she continued to go to med school, and how successful she could’ve been. and all kareena would do in response is smile and say that she’s successful anyway, but at least now she’s doing something she actually loves.

.  ∘ ∗   :   🐝   𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚂   …

born in mumbai, india. moved to seattle, washington when she was still a baby, and was raised there for the rest of her life, all while still visiting family back home.

kareena is the middle child of 5 siblings. two older brothers and two younger sisters

she is bisexual, and she’s pretty open about it. except to her family. shes not out to them

she believes in working hard, but she also believes that everyone deserves to have fun and get a break every once in a while. she currently is the only main person doing all the work for her business, but she’s hoping to soon hire anyone who has the same interests as her

her designs are mostly evening wear dresses and such. think teuta matoshi or marionela type of dresses, all flowy and puffy, giving fantasy feels

altho i would say her success is more like early hope macaulay, when she was still starting out. if no one is familiar with her, she is an irish fashion and textile designer who got famous for her knit wear on instagram, and she’s p young !! u might recognize her work if u look her up <3

she currently lives alone port briar, with her rented home facing the beach. exactly how she likes it. it was different and definitely not lavish like her home growing up, but she liked it better. she could’ve lived somewhere more expensive, but she didn’t want that.

owns a studio where she usually works. there is more space for her there than what she used to have at home. all the design process, sewing and even photoshoots take place there usually

if not working, kareena could be found at the rocky beaches near the port’s lighthouse or off somewhere on an adventure. she is always here to have a good time

honestly kareena is still such a new character for me, so if i think of any other hcs, i’ll add them here

.  ∘ ∗   :   🐝   𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙽𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂   …

friends from school, could be from seattle or L.A: kareena would’ve kept in contact with those friends tbh shes the type of person to keep her friends around. even if they were just added to her snapchat or followed on instagram. she would keep up with them

toxic relationship / gf: THIS

exes ?? we could definitely plot this out

high school ex perhaps 👀

FWB: no strings attached 

neighbors: she lives on sea sprite lane

family members? kareena would be hoping that left them all behind in the past, but it can’t be denied that she has a big family and she could possibly run into any of them at any moment

omg crush perhaps ! idm if it’s one sided, and it could either be kareena having feelings or the other person

a friend she had a falling out with: she probably met this person two years ago when she first moved here. something might’ve happened and one thing after another, they dropped each other and it was probably the worst falling out for both of them

clients / customers for her business perhaps. or maybe a helping hand!! 

literally anything u wanna do, lets gooo

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 27

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap, mention of weapons 

A/N:  more musical references ... who would’ve thought? but now i’m also adding disney references bc referencing is my passion (unless it’s for essays, then screw referencing). also i’m very sorry for being late with this chapter something happened last night and i couldn’t finish it. i hope you enjoy this chapter x

NEXT CHAPTER

    - Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six ...  - a choir of two voices echoed through the reading room in the Forrest household with one being significantly deeper while the other much higher and almost baby like. However if asked, Y/N would solely deny that being.5 made her a baby and she would constantly put five fingers up in pride of her young age. Accompanying the two voices, there was the soft sound of the very old piano which had been with the Forrest family for more than a century - sept, huit, neuf.

   - Fantastic. Play the last three notes for me by yourself this time. - Daniel smiled at the much younger Y/N dressed in a hand-me down white ruffled dress with her hair pushed out of the way by a velvet white string. Y/N giggled, her babyish laughter echoing through the room before she could concentrate on the keys of the piano, her fingers pressing the same combination as just before. 

   - Sept, huit, neuf ... Sept, huit, neuf. - her fingers played through the keys as her still very badly spoken French came through but that was the life of a lady who was to grow up to stand next to an heiress; educated in the arts and languages, polite and classic, a picture and reflection of true perfection. Fake it until you make it, it’s what her governess told her constantly. - Sept, huit, neuf. 

  - One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. - Daniel joined in with a lower key, quickly playing through the keys and ending at the nine making Y/N smile in relief. Whenever he changed to English it normally meant the lesson was over and while Y/N loved music, she didn’t enjoy it for three hours straight in the early morning. - You know birdie, whenever you don’t wanna be somewhere try to pretend you do.

  - It’s too early. - she whined, head leaned against the keys of the very expensive shiny black instrument. 

  - Alright, birdie, go on a do whatever it is you do in your free time.

Before he could even shut down the piano’s hood, Y/N was already on her feet, the small sounds of new tiny shoes becoming further and further as she exited the reading room and bolted towards the attic. At 5 years old, the young handmaid had mastered a way to get the high door open by using two tennis rackets tied together with one of her hair strings. After doing this, the stairs came collapsing down allowing her to climb them into the attic. 

Looking around like a squirrel afraid of being caught, she returned to the pile of boxes she had found when she was rummaging through whatever had been left there. She wasn’t entirely sure who it belonged to or what it was but she was convinced that it was filled with something that looked pretty enough to belong to a princess. Opening the first box she came face to face with a gold coloured head piece. Curiously, she grabbed it from the box rushing over to a pretty old mirror with already dark spots and a bit of browning. Curiously, she lifted up the headpiece, placing it on her head. Her eyes seemed to wander around her reflection before the headpiece started to slide down, a bit too big of her. Before it could reach the floor, however, Y/N grabbed it, noticing a few letters on the in the piece. 

 - Y/N, the French tutor is here. 

 - I’m going. 

Y/N watched as Sebastian in awe as he cooked her cheese toastie. Sure, a cheese toastie wasn’t a culinary masterpiece and it was the furthest thing from being a hard task, still she was just entranced by the sight imagining what things could be. Dreaming is a dangerous two edged swords allowing you to envision everything your heart desires yet having the power to keep it as further yet close enough to reach but never have. She could almost see it, she could almost see and hear the future that would never be. With eyes wandering to the piano in the living room, she could see and hear being sat at the piano teaching her child how to play while Sebastian made his cheese toasties in the kitchen. Yet again dreams aren’t reality, reality is much more bitter and unforgiven. 

    - Look at that, unburned. - Sebastian slide a perfectly white porcelain plate towards her containing the delicious snack. 

    - I’m rather scared that burning is your only evaluating tool for cooking. - she tried to hold in a little child-like smile but her muscles had more strength. - Thank you.

    - Well, angel, unless you can cook better than me I believe you have no right in criticising. - he took a seat very close to her, choosing to instead stare at her rather than eat along with her. At that comment Y/N scoffed, giving him a look that made him question his statement and wonder if she was some sort of hidden stellar cook. 

   - I would say I can, at least, cook better than you. 

   - What can’t you do? You’re like this untouchable Edwardian woman. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who is so effortlessly ready to be in high society.

   - I don’t belong in high society. - she seemed to stare blankly at the wall of the kitchen and how perfectly straight the back splash had been placed. Every single square perfectly placed yet not noticeable by its own, unless bringing perfection to the whole piece itself. - You just have to pretend you do. No one in this business is gonna give their daughter up to be standing next to someone who’s bound to inherit an empire ... you said yourself, if they shoot at an heiress they’ll shoot at you too. It’s more like picking someone off the street and dressing them up just good enough that you believe they’re untouchable. 

   - You don’t give yourself enough credit. 

   - I think you just see me through rose coloured glasses. - she took a bite off the sandwich. - You know what? That’s pretty good. 

   - Thanks, angel. - he kissed the top of her head. - Hey, how about we do something you really like tonight? 

   - No. - she held his hand. - Let’s do something you like to do. We never do something you like to do, why don’t you pick?

   - Angel, I don’t think you’d enjoy it. 

  - It can’t be that bad. - she put what was left from the sandwich in the plate, wiping her hands clean from the grease. -  You do what I want all the time. 

  - I like making you happy, angel. - he leaned towards her, placing a soft and quick kiss on top of her nose. - Besides, you haven’t made me do anything particularly torturous. 

  - No. - she crossed her arms at him, jumping from her high seat. - We are doing something you like doing tonight. 

  - Okay, angel. Let’s go then. 

There was no denying her, or at least he hadn’t built a backbone to deny her yet. Nevertheless, he took her back to the garage yet instead of walking into the unit they had just been in, both of them kept walking and walking passing various units with various numbers, probably belonging to other tenants. He finally stopped in front of an abnormally large unit which had a pin code pad. Quickly and almost mechanically he put the code in which made the door unlock allowing him the open it up. Stepping inside, this unit was way more organised than the last one with what looked like a small version of a shooting range. A mob boss liking to shoot ... original. 

  - Do the neighbours not complain about the noise? - she wondered out loud. 

  - Soundproof walls. - he gave her his regular pearly white smile, taking a pair of noise cancelling headphones and googles from the wall. - Besides, it’s my building. 

  - I’m sure someone probably has complained. - she teased as he put a pair of googles on her face. - Have you ever shot a gun, angel?

  - I did archery in school. - she shrugged. Gwen and Dan usually went for the shooting range back when they were younger but Y/N was always one to take that time to herself and stay home either practicing for her lessons or reading. Besides, she was entirely sure she didn’t even know how a gun worked. - Didn’t have a good aim.

 - Well, this it’s not entirely like archery. - he opened a black panel, grabbing a matte black revolver before handing it to her. Y/N, however, stared at it untrusting of the object. - You’ve grown up with the mob, don’t tell you’ve never touched a gun. 

 - They told me not to and I enjoy following rules. - Y/N crossed her arms, defensive of her statement which made Sebastian smirk. - Besides, what if I touched it and it accidentally shot me? 

 - It’s locked, angel. - he placed the revolver in front of the circle target so he could put the noise cancelled headphones on her, leaving it just spaced enough so he could still talk to her. - Besides, maybe you should know how to defend yourself.

 - Okay. - still a bit guarded, she picked up the weapon, placing herself in line with the target while Sebastian was by her side. 

 - It’s a quick-lock system. - he helped her unlock the gun. - Now, regularly most of the ones in the mob have a quick-lock system so if you’re eve ...

 - I don’t wanna think about it. - the memory of the gunshot from earlier had her not in the mood to think about danger. Maybe there was imminent danger to avoiding the probability of her being hurt but half her mind wanted to believe that people wouldn’t shot at her. Sebastian tightened his lips, changing his narrative. - What if it shoot you by accident?

 - Angel, that is pointing nowhere near me. - he tapped her elbow. - Eyes on the target and pull the trigger. 

Y/N swallowed in dry, looking up from the gun to the bullseye before pulling the trigger. The sound didn’t hit her as hard due to the headphones but she still took a step back out of surprised followed by an upset moan due to the fact the bullet had hit the furthest place from the target. 

  - Right... - Sebastian placed himself behind her, arms coming up to her, almost mirroring her position so he could move her arms and overall aim in the right position. - Take a deep breathe, pick your target, concentrate and shoot. 

  - Okay. - she took a deep breath, feeling his skin too close to her in a way which almost made her too weak on the knees to concentrate on the target. Nevertheless, she focused on the bullseye, pressing the trigger which caused a back/forward motion and the bullet when straight into the target making her eyes and smile widen as her ego swelled up with pride. She turned around, pulling Sebastian into a hug. - I did it!

Sebastian locked the revolver, placing it back on the table before returning to a very enthusiastic Y/N yet not very excited to do it again. Nevertheless, Sebastian was happy she at least knew how to use a weapon, just in case. As he opened his mouth to say something, his phone started to ring. God, just fantastic. Sighing in defeat, he put his phone on to his hear, a fairly familiar yet annoying voice coming through. Y/N watched in confusion, not entirely sure who was at the phone but from what she could manage from his words it seemed like he was getting an invite which he was very against. After what felt like a good 5 or 10 minutes of speaking on the phone, begrudgingly he turned his phone off, looking at Y/N with a look which was very indescribable.  

  - Are you okay? - she took a few steps forward, wrapping her arms around his neck, one of her hands coming to brush his hair soothingly. - Who was it?

  - Gwen. She’s spending New Years at the Ritz and she wants you to go. 

  - The Ritz? I thought she was going to Monaco. 

 - Seems like she decided to stay in New York and wants you and me there for good measure. 

 - I know for a fact she does not enjoy your company? Why the sudden change of heart?

 - We are getting married in two weeks, angel. I would call it PR but then again, what hasn’t been PR with the two of us?

 - Oh ... right ... the wedding. - sometimes Y/N forgot that she was very much involved with a man stuck in his engagement. It wasn’t like he could break it, that was a death sentence and probably the biggest mistake he could make. However, she still didn’t know how she was gonna handle it. Maybe Mr. Forrest was right, maybe she should go to Paris after all of this was over, maybe she should just start to distance herself but how could she distance herself from someone who is just so magnetic without even trying? How do you ignore a magnetic pull? - Well, I guess we should pack ... again. 

tag list: @lilya-petrichor​ @xoxohannahlee​ @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater​ @nikkipea​ @madisonpillstrom​ @cevans98​ @thelostallycat​ @sideeffectsofyou​ @anxiousdreamersworld​ @captainchrisstan​ @lookiamtrying​ @sarge-barnes-sir​ @stuffforreferences​ @thebadassbitchqueen @sebastianstansqueen​ @nsfwsebbie @strangerliaa @emzd34 @everything-is-awesomesauce @dreams-in-blxck 

[eberles]

i hate u, i love u

Rafe Cameron

(gif by @toesure :)

Request: A Rafe fic based on the song “I hate u, I love you” by gnash (ft Olivia O’Brien) PLEASE MAJOR RAFE VIBES 🥺💖 @fav-imagines

A/N: I wanted to cry writing this lol idk why but it hit me right in the feels!! it’s kind of all over the place, if anyone is confused by, don’t worry bc i am too!!!! lol anyways enjoy!! (this is probably the first thing ive ever written that goes with rafe’s character) bold = lyrics, italics = flashbacks

Warnings: angst, mentions of drugs, cheating, lying, toxic relationship, swearing

feelin used, but im still missin you and i cant see the end of it just wanna feel your kiss against my lips and now all this time is passing by, but i still cant seem to tell you why it hurts me every time i see you, realize how much i need you

I’ve spent months sitting in my room staring at the ceiling, and at the walls. I did a full Bella Swan from New Moon and let 3 months go by without being present for any of them. I didn’t care honestly...Even after spending all that time alone, i’m not still not healed from the heartache that was caused by him. I still miss him, his scent, his kisses, his clothes, everything. Rafe.

I went out once and he was the last person I wanted or planned to see, but of course, he was the only person I actually saw. Sure, there were other people around, but none of them mattered. Everyone else felt greyed out except for him. He was the only light I could see in those short moments. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, my breath hitched in my throat and it felt like there was no air left to breathe.

After months it still hurts to see him again. It hurts because I realized I still need him even after everything. I hate him. So why do I love him? The feeling of him being the only one I want, the one nobody could ever replace...it’s overwhelming and I can’t seem to shake it. But me? He replaced. It looked like it was easy from my point of view. He needed her, wanted her, and i’m not her.

i miss you when i can’t sleep or right after coffee or right when i can’t eat, i miss you in my front seat, still got sand in my sweaters from nights we don’t remember. do you miss me like i miss you? fucked around and got attached to you.

My head was consumed on thoughts of you. It was constant. Like the leaky faucet in the bathroom or the loose floorboard. Always running, always broken. I miss you. Maybe you’ll come around, but for now...I wish you were here instead. When it’s late and I can’t sleep, I think about you. When it’s early and I can’t eat, I think about you.

“Where are we going?” you giggled excitedly, grabbing my hand from across the console in my truck.

“Shh, I told you it’s a surprise baby, we’re almost there anyways.” I laughed at her giggling like a kid, she had so much excitement in her eyes. She was always ready for anything, even if it was 2 in the morning and I love that about her. I love everything about her.

“Ugh fine!” she groaned dramatically and rolled her eyes in a full circle looking up at the ceiling. “Why are we at the beach?” you didn’t even give me enough time to answer before jumping out of the truck and running towards the sand laughing the entire way to the water. Once I caught up with you, I grabbed your hands and pulled you close into my chest, kissing your forehead. When we broke apart I laid down a few blankets on the sand, noticing you were cold, I also gave you my sweater.

We stared at the stars and talked about anything and everything for hours. It felt magical. We stayed until the sun came up, watching the sunset before driving back to my house for some much needed rest.

Walking over to my closet, curious to know if that same sweater ended up back in my closet after that night. I reached in, digging around not finding anything and decided to look in my dresser instead. Of course, it was folded neatly in the drawer you used to call yours. Grabbing and shaking it out I noticed the light pieces of sand that fell from it. I brought it in to my nose wondering if it still smelt like your perfume. It did. I’m always tired lately, but never of you. Do you miss me too?

if i pulled a you on you, you wouldn’t like that shit, i put this reel out, but you wouldn’t bite that shit. i type a text then i never mind that shit, i got these feelings, but you never mind that shit. you’re still in love with me but your friends don’t know.

To Y/N: i wanna talk, i think...maybe i miss y-

*delete*

To Rafe: I miss you so much, it hurt someti-

*delete*

“Y/N...what’s going on? You’re off in never never land! Do you still miss him?” Kiara asked, gently shaking my knee to gain my attention back to the group. I looked at her and around at the rest of the pogues and put a smile on my face, shaking my head.

“Of course not, it’s been months! I’m so over him, guys. Besides even if I did, it wouldn’t matter.” I tried so hard to sound confident. I hope they bought it. Of fucking course, I miss Rafe. I’m still in love with him for gods sake. I hate that I want him.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Sure, i’ve moved on, but I think about y/n, just about everyday. I guess for me, moving on is finding someone new, but not actually wanting anyone new. I just couldn’t bare to be alone anymore with my thoughts. I deserve better than that, personally.

“Anyways Topper, if y/n wanted me still, she would say so right?” I looked at Topper, silently hoping he would lie to me, just tell me what I want to hear, man. “If I were her, I would’ve never let me go. She’s missing out.”

“Hell yea, dude! That’s the right attitude.” Topper said, jumping up to high five me. Of course, that was the statement he was on board with. I hate that I want you.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

I haven’t been to a party in months, Kiara and Sarah thought that this would be the most fitting post-break up activity for me. Maybe meet a new guy or something. I tuned out when they were telling me about it and just agreed. What I neglected to listen to, was that it was a kook party. So now, i’m at a party alone, since my friends ditched me to dance with each other. And on top of that, I watch him watch her, like she’s the only girl he’s ever seen.

It took less than an hour of being at this party for us to end up in a room alone together.

“You don’t care! You never did!” Rafe shouted, running his hands through his hair, clearly exasperated with this conversation. I don’t even know how it started. One minute I was watching him with another girl, and the next he was hauling me off, away from everyone.

“You don’t give a damn about me, Rafe! How is it you never notice that you’re slowly killing me?” you wanted to yell back at him, to scream at him for putting you through this again, but you couldn’t. He didn’t say anything in return so you continued, “I hate you, and I hate that I love you, Rafe.” I’ve tried to move on, but even the simple thought of dating anyone but him, makes me physically ill. Why does it have to be like this?

“I don’t mean no harm, I just miss you on my arm, babe. Do you ever wonder what we could’ve been y/n?” He’s taunting me by asking dumb questions, as if I wanted this to happen, as if i’m the cause of all of this. Rafe’s the one that was closed off, not me. Of course, he switches the stories and i’m sure everyone at this damn party thinks I left him heart broken.

“You have a girlfriend, why are you even asking me that?” I was starting to get angry, I felt like he was toying with me.

He’s laughing. Of fucking course, he’s laughing at me. This is all one big fucking joke to him. “Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix. Isn’t that what you always told your friends Rafe?” I was furious, how could he act that way after everything? He’s still a child though, that will never change.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

You were right. I did lie to you, multiple times. About where I was, who I was with, what I was doing. I didn’t want you to know I was such a fuck up. You didn’t deserve the pain of finding out I was lying and cheating and drugging. You did anyways though. Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed.

“Rafe! Come dance with me!” I downed the rest of my drink before throwing the glass down and walking away from the new girl I was seeing. I didn’t care anymore.

I don’t want you, Y/N. I shouldn’t fucking miss you. I don’t deserve to! Seeing you again is such bullshit. If you wouldn’t have shown up here, I wouldn’t have said those things to you. Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges, just to create some distance. You didn’t deserve that, I knew it, but at least now you might learn your lesson and stay away. It’s for the best, right?

I hate that I love her, but I can’t put nobody else above her.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

I wasn’t sure if I had the closure I needed, but after that particular conversation with Rafe I felt a little better. I returned to the party with my head held high and danced with my friends. I hoped he was watching me too since i’m not sure what he was trying to do by joking around at my expense. But maybe if he thinks it didn’t bother me he will know how it fucking feels. 

I learned from my dad that it’s good to have feelings when love and trust is gone. I guess this is moving on. I hate you, I love you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[honeymoonjin]

TGM Bonus Content #11

HELLO folks this was a long time coming but here is the week 2 elimination from Tae’s perspective ;;;-; also i know BC are usually irrelevant to the main story but this one has some pretty important info so i suggest you read,,,,, it’s only 1.8k 

---

Everything feels way too official.

It makes Taehyung’s throat dry. It was a little easier to say fuck the competition earlier with Y/n. Now, after being properly voted out and Sejin directing him to the confessional shed, things were different.

It isn’t that he regrets his decision either; it’s just a little scary leaving everyone else behind. The loneliness feels almost tangible, like a film of sweat on his palms that he can’t wipe off.

He stands outside in silence for what feels like a icy eternity. He knows what he has to do, and yet he waits at the door of the confessional instead of going inside.

Eventually, Sejin returns. He’s quiet for a moment, clearly trying to give the recently eliminated contestant space, but that’s exactly what Taehyung’s stomach turns over. His heart skips a beat when the producer gestures towards the shed, and Taehyung forces himself to speak up.

“What changes now?” Taehyung asks, voice croaky. “I can’t have sex with Y/n, I know, but what else?” He eyes the door of the shed warily. “Is this the last time I’ll use this?”

Sejin shrugs. “The confessional booth has never been an enforced requirement, it’s just preferred for the players in the show. You don’t have to come here anymore.”

“No, that’s not-” Taehyung forces himself not to feel too nervous, aware that his anxieties are making this bigger than it needs to be. “...I like kinda talking to the fans, that’s all. I wanna come back.”

“Then you’re welcome to,” the producer responds easily, before his face softens. Reaching out to place a hand on the younger man’s shoulder, Sejin gives it a reassuring squeeze. “You’re no less important on the show, and certainly no less valued amongst Y/n and the others just because you’re eliminated, okay?”

Taehyung narrows his eyes, even as the warm touch soothes him. “But you were going to send us home once we get voted out.”

Sejin breathes out slowly, lips moving silently like he’s deciding whether to speak or not. His eyes lift towards the cameras attached to the exterior wall of the house, before using the grip on Taehyung’s shoulder to step inside the shed. Kang and Shin are nowhere to be seen, and the small room is cool and quiet. “A lot of things are changing on the show,” Sejin answers carefully after he slides the door shut again, flicking the light on. “Partly because of the viewers’ response; partly because of all of you.”

“Us?” Almost like instinct, Taehyung finds himself going to sit on the stool. Sejin’s ruggedly handsome face is a little pinched as he double-checks the confessional camera is turned off, and it makes the boy worry.

“I’m telling you this because I trust you with the information, but do not forget you’re under a legal non-disclosure,” Sejin warns. After receiving a bewildered nod, he continues. “All of this was a gimmick,” he explains wearily. “The higher-ups told us our viewership was tanking due to bigger competitors and that we needed something to capture the attention of younger demographics, the 18-30 bracket, and I know from my girlfriend how addictive those reality shows on television can be. All of this - the big house, the pool, the prompts - it was all just a marketing gimmick.”

Taehyung doesn’t know how to respond. Sitting there with his mouth open like a fish seems sufficient, as Sejin continues.

“My boss just wanted all the pretty visuals and clickbait to get people’s attention. He couldn’t care less about the show or the people on it as long as the viewership increased. I don’t believe I ever told you this, but I’m from the HR department. I’m not even meant to be working directly with shoots, but the original proposal was so shocking that I applied to take it over. I tried to budget in for things like proper food and personal items, adjusted the application form to try and get genuine and safe people.” Sejin sighs out, arms crossed tightly in discomfort at the honesty. “My boss wasn’t happy about cutting corners in other areas like expensive sex toys and cameramen, but once the views started skyrocketing and the fanbase on social media began to grow, he became a little more comfortable with the idea.”

Taehyung closes his mouth with a small frown. “And now he’s happy with it?”

The producer laughs without humour. “He doesn’t get it,” Sejin admits, “can you believe that the views peak when the eight of you are together? Every breakfast, lunch, dinner, or meeting, they shoot up. Sometimes more than the actual sex, the viewers want to see you. So that’s why it’s not important that you’ve been eliminated. We made the decision to keep everyone around because I don’t think it’s wise that we separate you. And my boss wants fatter pockets, so he can’t afford risking the view drop if the house gets emptier and emptier. Do you understand?”

The masseuse nods mechanically. “Yeah, I think so.”

The uncertainty isn’t enough for Sejin, who purses his lips, brows knitted together. “Taehyung, I’m telling you this because I want you to prioritise your enjoyment here. I can see you are becoming close with some of the people in this house, and I want to encourage that. Not because of the views, but because I know they’re all good people that care about you, and you deserve to get something out of this experience. The CEO and main council of Bangasm would wring you all dry if they could, so don’t feel guilty about taking full advantage of whatever they’re giving you, whether it’s food or WiFi or, I don’t know, the pool. And please don’t forget that I’m on your side.”

Sejin clearly isn’t expecting the hug, because when Taehyung launches off the stool and wraps his arms tightly around the larger man, he stumbles back a few steps. After a moment, though, he brings his arms up to return the embrace, and Taehyung tightens his grip and savours it for a moment longer before letting go.

“I knew you were a good egg,” Taehyung announces proudly, setting himself back on the stool. “Let’s do this exit interview!”

As he sets up the camera and pulls out his phone to find the questions, the producer tries to hide his fond smile. He doesn’t do a very good job, but Taehyung chooses not to point it out.

“Okay, Week Two exit interview, Kim Taehyung,” Sejin announces in the smooth tone he always uses for anything official. Taehyung prefers his regular voice, but decides not to mention that either. “First of all, how do you feel now?”

Taehyung hums. “Should I pretend to be sad for views? I can fake cry if you want.”

Sejin sends him a warning glare, but that smile hasn’t left. “Honesty is preferred.”

“Okay,” the younger boy allows, deflating a little. “I feel okay. I was sad before, but I want to turn this into something positive, like an opportunity instead of a loss, you know?”

“And were you surprised about Y/n’s choice?”

“A little.” Taehyung pouts at Sejin’s raised brows. “I’m not lying this time! I know that I told Y/n to vote for me and we decided it, but I guess I kinda thought maybe she’d change her mind and save me. But now that it’s done, I’m really glad it’s not the others. I don’t want to see them upset.”

Sejin’s head drops, almost seeming touched by Tae’s response, though he busies himself with reading off his phone. “Is there anything you would have done differently if you could start the competition again?”

Taehyung bites his lip, thinking hard. After a few moments, a frown has graced his features. “I think I would’ve been a bit more selfish if I knew I was only going to get two weeks when everyone else got more. I just kinda wanna go back in there and kiss Y/n, but I can’t. That part definitely sucks.”

“What are you going to do now that you’ve been eliminated?”

At this question, Taehyung brightens back up again. “I want to spend time doing the things I love. Watching anime, gaming, I wanna train Mango so that maybe she can become an inside dog. And I want to get closer with the others now that I don’t have to worry about competing against them.” If Taehyung is honest with himself - which he does prefer to be - he’ll admit that he never felt like he was competing against anyone.

“Finally, since your elimination, the fans have been tweeting their reactions real-time, and the #WeLoveYouTaehyung hashtag has actually entered the trending tweets for South Korea. Is there anything you want to say to the viewers of the show, to those that support you?”

It’s hard not to tear up at the thought of people at home, cheering him on and supporting him. He blinks hard, nose twitching. “I’m sorry I couldn’t win for you. But I hope you continue to support me, and I’m going to try and chat with you all on Twitter more now. Thank you for the love.”

Sejin smiles sadly, reaching up to switch off the camera. “That’s all, buddy,” he says in a small voice, “you did well.”

Taehyung waits for the disappointment or the cold realisation to creep up inside him at those words - that’s all. But they never do. Yes, maybe Taehyung is done with the competition. Maybe he wouldn’t win the mysterious unknown prize, and maybe he’d have to restrain himself from kissing or touching Y/n like he wanted to. But there was a kind of liberation in not having to worry about that stuff anymore and just focus on enjoying himself.

An idea lights up Taehyung’s head suddenly, making a grin stretch across his lips. “Thank you, PD,” he says with a small bow, “I’ll go head upstairs now.”

Sejin reminds him that he’s in the bunks from tonight onwards for the week, but even that doesn’t damper his excited anticipation. He dashes inside, catching sight of the guys and Y/n in the kitchen, clearly preparing a meal of sorts.

Everyone’s staring at him, probably waiting to see if he’s going to put on a smile or burst into tears. Taehyung chooses the former. “I’m going upstairs to have a shower,” he says, “don’t wait up. I’ll come back down when I’m done.”

Y/n bites her lip, guilt stricken on her face, but before she can pull him into a conversation, Taehyung hurries back out and up the stairs.

For the first time in almost the whole two weeks, Taehyung locks his bedroom door.

It takes barely any time to open his computer and load the site he wants. Down the sides of the page, sponsored ads mingle with genuine ones, but the top banner is exactly what he’s after.

He clicks through, enters his credit card details, and grins when the confirmation comes up, displaying the purchase information and a link.

Thank you for your purchase! The order was successful.

Click here to go to the Bangasm TGM livestream site.

[okaybutlikeimagine]

(tumblr won’t let me respond to asks directly so we’re screenshotting them till further notice  🤷)(i had the WHOLE THING typed out w/ the italics fixed into the ask and i copied it so i wouldn’t have to go through and put the italics again and then my DUMBASS SELF went to copy a fucking SHRUG EMOJI and now i have to put the italics in again. good thing i do all this stuff on a separate google doc bc i’m a moron and would have lost the whole thing just now. anyway)

Hi!!! I’m crying bc you fucking KNOW that Billy would get so fucking embarrassed!!

Bc Billy is prideful!! I’m telling you, that boy has some Leo in his chart or something bc if anyone so much as smiles at a joke at his expense, he gets defensive. And that’s not to say that he doesn’t banter back and forth with Robin, and that’s not to say that he and Steve don’t give insults that sound like endearments, and that’s not to say that he and Jonathan don’t rib each other amicably… but it’s different. Pride is a very different thing.

Bc Billy is legit like a little lion cub. (AKA every Leo i know, therefore Billy has Leo in his chart, don’t @ me) it’s an almost juvenile kind of attachment to pride. Like a baby lion cub who’s just getting their mane in but holds their head like they’ve got the biggest one in the pride, it’s a little childish (as much as he may not want to admit it).

And it’s really not Billy’s fault. That’s what he’ll tell you. That’s what he’ll tell anyone. It’s not his fault he’s a brat and he’ll shrug his shoulders and he’ll continue to be rude/bratty and for some people (Steve) it’s charming and for others (almost everyone else) it’s tolerable but for Jim…. It’s…. It’s upsetting. Jim doesn’t like to be seen as “controlling” or a “hardass” or whatever but he’s not sure how he can just ignore when Billy is being disrespectful. Even if it’s only slightly. bc like…. He feels like he needs to be a good dad and good dads make sure their kids grow up to be good people, right??? Which isn’t to say he thinks Billy is a bad person but he worries because, like every parent, his biggest fear is fucking up. He didn’t get a whole lot of practice with Sara. and after her death he couldn’t help but think of every time he slipped up. Every time his wife soothed his hair and said: “We have time to get it right.” every day that passed with Sara in the hospital where he realized she was wrong.

And i’m SO sorry for getting into that but I think that really influences how Hop parents now! The man was broken and then just…. Acquired a 12 year old. And then a 17 YEAR OLD?? Like… the man would be Confused as to how to proceed. And then THIS happens…

Bc Billy has mood swings. Billy is a teenager and also the human version of a bratty little cat that puffs his chest out and ruffles his own fur and may leave a few scratches but is ultimately harmless (esp now that he has a nice, loving family!!) and so they’re at the dinner table and the boys are talking about their grades and whatnot and Billy may be a little pouty. Because maybe Billy didn’t study as hard as he should have for his last history test. He just thinks history is so stupid. He’d rather read a book or do 100 math problems. What’s history gonna teach him?? He doesn’t need to know any more about plagues.

So he says that.

Jonathan’s talking about how well he did on his essay and Will is talking about how he did on his math test and Billy’s pushing carrots around when Joyce asks: “How’s school for you, Billy?”

“Just peachy keen.” he sneers down at his plate. Hop tuts harshly.

“Hey.” Hop chastises, only serving to make Billy’s blood boil more.

“What?”

“Calm down.”

“I’m plenty calm.” Billy snaps back, but it’s quiet. He shoves a sliced carrot in his mouth.

“Have you had any tests or anything lately?” Joyce asks calmly, in that motherly voice she always gives that makes Billy’s mind swirl a bit.

“Yup.”

“Billy-” Hop warns and it makes Billy sit straight up, but give a challenging look in Hop’s direction as he says, loudly:

“Yes, ma’am.”

Joyce stops asking, but she sends a look to Hop, who’s still caught in a staredown with Billy. Billy can’t see her look, but he wouldn’t understand it if he could, because it says: Hop, cut it out.

And the conversation shifts to significant others and then Joyce is smiling kindly at El and asking about her and Mike and maybe Hop is pouting but he’s not gonna draw attention to himself bc Joyce will just hit him like she always does when he’s pouting over their kids dating (specifically El). And Jonathan is smirking a bit into his dinner but Will is visibly uncomfortable as El gushes about Mike before complaining that he doesn’t come over enough and that she doesn’t go out enough and Billy gets irritated. Why should he and Will have to listen to this when they don’t want to??

And he mutters something, darkly. Something about Mike and El and “ungrateful little brats”.

And everyone hears. He only half means it, but they don’t really think that far.

And Hop shoots a look his way before chewing on a carrot rather aggressively.

“Somethin’ to say?”

Billy gives Hop a challenging stare, but he backs down as soon as he starts it.

“No sir.” He mutters harshly.

“Then behave.”

“How about you and Steve, sweetie?” It’s Joyce. Being sweet.

“Happy as can be.” It sounds bitter the way he says it because it is. They got in a fight today. A little one, but enough to make Billy taste something sour in his mouth when he thinks about it. He figures they’re gonna make up just fine tomorrow, no flowers or empty promises needed, just another heated conversation followed by a heated make out in the front seat of Billy’s Camaro. Maybe followed by a serious talk that’ll make Billy’s face heat up because he still can’t believe this boy has Billy wrapped around his finger so fucking tight.

“Yeah, well Officer Callahan says you and Harrington have-”

“You know his name.” Billy growls, resting his fork on the plate.

“Steve. You and Steve have been running around empty fields a lot lately.”

“And?” Billy’s vision is turning red. It’s tunneling a bit.

“And what’s that all about?”

“Don’t really wanna give you all the dirty details.” Billy shoves some meatloaf in his mouth. Hop’s looking at him like he’s a hassle and Billy’s proud of it.

“You guys shouldn’t be doing that. Someone’s gonna say something.”

“And?” Billy’s getting madder. He puts his fork down with a loud clang.

“And you’re gonna cause problems-”

“For you?” Billy seethes, leaning forward a bit, just willing Hop to say it.

“For yourselves.”

“Oh yeah?” Billy asks, leaning back in his chair, blood boiling hot. “Well what about the little twerps?”

Billy nods over to El, who makes a whining noise.

“Hey!” She calls, face pouting.

“What about them?”

"I just don't think it's very fair that it's safe for them and not us." Billy growls, gritting his teeth, eyebrows low.

"That's not true."

"It's safe for everyone else but us!" He’s mad. He’s mad bc him and Steve have argued about this before. Argued about how there’s no real point in being together if they have to hide all the time. That one time when they saw Cindy and Jason being grossly affectionate in public and Billy grabbed Steve’s ass and Steve got mad. They fought for a few days and it ended with them laying in Hansen’s big empty field, on the outskirts of town, talking in dreamy, far away voices about how one day they’d move to California bc “It’s not like this there… trust me, babe. It’ll be so much better.”

Billy’s vision tunnels more. All he sees is Hop in different shades of red. He forgets where he is. He’s livid, thinking about El and Mike and Cindy and Jason and Tommy and Carol and Nancy and Jonathan and he’s going to scream. His heart is racing with disdain.

"You know it's still dangerous for El to go out." Hop warns.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Look... kid-"

"I'm not a fucking kid." Billy growls, leaning forward even more.

"Language!" Hop’s voice is booming and Billy’s had about enough of this. He resents being told off like a kid.

"Sorry! Excuse the fuck out of me!" He’s snarling and Hop seems about as livid as Billy feels.

"Go to your room!"

"Fine!" Billy yells, shoving his chair back and standing up, turning to Joyce for the first time all dinner and seeing her eyes full of… concern. He doesn’t know how to feel about it. Something in his chest heaves at the sight. His eyes flick over to Jonathan and then to El and then to Will…. And then his chest tightens. He looks away just as quickly.

He thanks Joyce quietly for dinner, mumbling it a bit but he thinks the sentiment is clear enough. He drops his plate off next to the sink and storms off to his room, slamming the door with probably too much force but everything’s on his mind and he has the right to be a brat if he wants.

It’s just that he hates just sitting here with nothing to do but think about everything. He doesn’t even have his stereo to listen to music with bc he gave his to El until she can get a new one bc hers broke and her nightmares have been bad recently. Listening to music before bed calms her down. Billy didn’t say anything about his own nightmares or his own need for music before bed. He wishes he had now that he’s laying in bed, about ready to rip his sheets to shreds bc he’s boiling. He feels like a storm but, to any outsider, he looks like a toddler- red-faced from a tantrum and fidgeting and bubbling like a shaken up soda bottle.

He’s so mad he can’t even do anything. The minutes pass in sticky but frantic moments of anger and thoughts and memories and the only thing his body will let him do is just sit there. Lay in his bed and pull at his covers and fall into thoughts and think about Hop reprimanding him like that and how awful it was and how red and angry he looked and how he sent him to his room like a kid and… and how Joyce looked so worried…. And how that same look was in Jonathan’s eyes…. And Will’s…. That same worried, concerned look. They all three have the same eyes- Lonnie be damned. Those boys share their mother’s eyes and all of the emotion that goes within them and it makes… it makes Billy mad he’s mad about it he knows he’s mad and-

And…

And he calms down a bit. Calms down enough to do what Steve told him to do when he gets angry and stressed and doesn’t know what to do with himself. Because Steve’s family is “well-traveled” and Steve knows all these weird little things from all these cool different countries.

So Billy takes out his notebook and rips a couple pieces of paper out (bc he saves the fancy paper Steve gave him for when he’s actually trying) and does some origami. Bc Steve said it’d help him to do something with his hands and this is something he can do quietly, in his room, without being destructive. ”It’ll help, I promise!”

The hardest part is making a perfect square, bc it takes too much patience and usually Billy doesn’t have that. But he’s just doing this to calm down so he eyeballs it as he cuts the paper and starts to fold what he knows, which is either a heart or a crane. Those are the only 2 things Steve has taught him that he knows off hand w/o the instructions or Steve guiding him through it.

There’s more crumpled paper on the ground than folded paper on his desk but Steve had assured him that was more than okay. It’s kind of the point, he figures. Crumpling and ripping up the paper is almost as nice as folding it to make something, and it makes actually making something feel even better when it happens.

He’s sitting there, on his 3rd heart, when there’s a small knock on the door.

“Go away.” He calls, realizing that the paper he cut isn’t a perfect square bc the corners won’t match.

“It’s Will.”

Billy pauses a bit. He goes back to folding his paper, not caring about the corners bc it’s not bad enough to start over. He doesn’t say anything.

He hears the door open.

“Do you think ‘go away’ doesn’t mean you?”

“Does it?” Will asks, voice earnest. Billy looks up to see his face matches.

Billy sighs, the harsh feeling in his chest softens a bit at the boy in his doorway. He turns back to his folding.

“What do you want? And close the door.”

“I wanted to ask if you wanna come listen to records with me.” Will says, closing the door behind him.

“I don’t think they want me out there.” Billy folds his paper with his fingernail to make it sharp. It burns his thumb a bit.

“That’s not true.” Will says, taking a few steps closer. “Mom told Hop… Dad he shouldn’t have done that.”

And that makes Billy mad. He’s not even sure why. It’s a heat in his chest and his face that feels like anger and he messes up his fold and he’s just… he’s confused and he’s red and all he can think about is Will saying “mom”. Not “my mom” just “mom” and also “dad” like he’s theirs and Billy can’t understand it still and he smashes the paper into a ball in his hand-

“I don’t need your mom defending me.” Billy says harshly, spitting the words out like he hates them, chucking the paper on the ground. He’s too aware of the way Will flinches a bit at his harshness. He takes a deep breath.

“Uh... “ Will’s fidgeting. Billy feels bad. He sighs.

“I don’t have my stereo.” Billy leans back, running a tired hand down his face. “Ask Jonathan.”

“But I wanna listen to your music.” Will says quietly and Billy believes him. Will’s been getting interested in Alice Cooper and Led Zeppelin and all of the fun bands that actually perform. Steve gifted Billy a VHS performance of Led Zeppelin and Will seemed to like the lead singer quite a bit.

“Well I don’t wanna go out there, pipsqueak.” Billy rips out another piece of paper. It’s quiet for a second, Billy eyeballing another square to cut. It’s so quiet, Billy thinks Will has left.

He thinks wrong.

“Can I still hang out with you?”

Billy puts the scissors down, exhausted, and looks up at Will.

“Alright, what’s wrong?”

Will shrugs. “Nothing. I just…. Like it in here.”

Billy’s confused, but he almost believes him for a minute.

“I don’t have music for you.”

“I can grab a book to read.” The boy’s so earnest, Billy knows he’s not gonna shake him.

So he waves him away with a nod and Will’s out and back quicker than Billy can think about how weird it is that this boy would rather sit in his room in silence than do something fun. Will’s closing the door carefully, latching it quietly and moving over to sit on the bed.

Billy has crumpled up 2 more pieces of paper before Will begins to pry.

“Are you folding things again?”

“Uh huh.”

“What’s it called, again?”

“Origami.”

“Cool.” Will scoots on his knees to the edge of the bed so he can see what Billy’s doing. “Do you need any help?”

“I’m good.” Billy mutters, unconvincingly.

“I can cut the paper for you. I’m good at making squares.”

And so Will is sitting criss cross on the bed, cutting perfect square after perfect square, while Billy sits backwards on his desk chair with his arms folding on the back rest and mind racing a mile a minute. Will’s so quiet and calm, willingly coming in here just to spend time with Billy, helping him now and… and something sick fills Billy’s chest. The only thing he can hear are his words at the dinner table.

‘Hey-uh…” His voice sounds weird to his ears and his tongue feels thick but he’s got Will’s attention now so he needs to get it out. “Sorry.”

Will’s eyebrows scrunch up. “Sorry for what?”

For being a dick? For ruining your dinner? For ruining your family?

Billy shrugs.

“I dunno. Just… not being a good example.”

“Whaddya mean?” Will asks, handing over a handful of squares before working on some more.

Billy shrugs again. “I dunno kid I just… I’m not like Jonathan. I’m not… I’m not a good example for you. It’s embarrassing.”

“What’s embarrassing?”

“Getting told off like that in front of you guys.” Billy turns back around so he can start folding again. He needs to do something w/ his hands.

“I told you, mom told him he shouldn’t have done that.”

“But he was right-”

“No, you can be upset if you’re upset. It’s fine.”

Billy falters a bit. He wonders if Will is quoting Joyce. The small boy keeps speaking.

“You’re a good example,” Will’s voice says, and he sounds so sure that Billy believes him. “You’re just a different one. You show me to stand up for what I believe and… and that it’s okay to be… to like boys…”

Billy stops folding altogether. Will’s voice gets quieter.

“You’re a good example. It’s good to let things out when you feel them.”

Billy’s mind is racing. He’s folding without thinking about it. Because the only thing he can think about is how he got accepted into this family so quickly. How Hop took him in and Joyce accepted that like she was accepting a package at the door. She took him in like he was her own son and not some bratty problem child being dumped on her. And now Hop reprimands him without his fists and Joyce chastises Hop for being too harsh even though he’s… doing his job, whatever that entails and it’s… it’s too much sometimes. It’s too much to think about but Billy knows he wouldn’t give it away for the world bc every moment like this reminds him that every passing day is a day further away from the pain he grew up surrounded by. The pain now doesn’t even compare to the pain then. This is so different bc this pain is laced with care and love.

He’s made a crane before he realizes.

“I’m glad you’re my brother.” Will’s voice sounds so far away but it crashes over Billy like a wave.

Billy nearly crushes the crane in his hand from the words. He’s so shocked at them.

He turns and gives Will the crane, not looking the boy in the eye as he gathers up the paper and the scissors from the bed.

“I don’t need any more paper. Thanks.” Billy mumbles, dumping everything on his desk.

“You’re welcome. Is this for me?”

“Yup.” Billy shoves the paper in a drawer and tosses the scissors into his pencil cup.

“Thanks!” Will’s so excited about it. Billy’s heart is fluttering.

“Wanna listen to those records now?” Billy asks, hands on his hips, fingers fidgeting bc this is a lot and he just…. He needs music now. Whatever. He realizes he shouldn’t be so scared. There’s nothing to be scared about. Will beams up at him.

“Sure!” Will gets up and rushes to the door as Billy grabs a folded heart and follows the boy out, aiming to give it to Joyce by means of apology. He thinks briefly about giving one to Hop as well, but he figures a spoken apology and a light punch on the shoulder and a promise to listen should do just fine to get the man smiling again. Bc somehow- somewhat miraculously -it always does.

[kyunsies]

hello hello mädchen <3 i hope you're doing good today and it is lovely where you are

i am slowly feeling better thank you - i'm still have trouble with sleep but i hope that it gets better soon. 😢😢😢 your words. you are super amazing too and so kind. i feel we have very similar tendencies too and it's a really good thing sometimes but can also be a not so good thing. idk if you've tried this but i'm trying to try less hard? not that like i don't want to work hard but it feels like sometimes i cross that line where it's too much and it actually makes it worse? like to let go enough to be able to appreciate my work as opposed to try and kill myself over it? idk i don't know if it will work but i want to try? i've just moved to a new agent/rep that will hopefully be better for my mental health just cause they seem nicer and will stress me out less.

your job sounds really thorough though. do you enjoy it? i 100% agree with you though! i like to buy good quality clothes too, but that's probably because i really don't buy loads either so each piece feels like an investment? what did you get? is it warm where you are? or have you been investing in more wintry stuff? i so so rarely get multiple versions of albums! i always really to but then i wonder if i;m going overboard and if i end up looking at the photobooks? i got the comma and xiesta photobooks last year and now i'm not sure if i wanna sell them on to a monbebe that will appreciate them more? hmm just me overthinking probably? leather platform shoes sound AMAZING. hahah i do the same though if i know i want to spend some money so i usually wait for the following month sometimes even though i know i'm gonna get the thing anyway? haha.

i'm back to heaven as my fave now!! i'm so so so looking forward to mx eng2 but i agree with you. like these careers are so so so short i'm sure they're aware of this and just want to live their career to their full.

ahhhhh 😢😢😢i love you lots and honestly i was so scared my last year of uni too. i don't think older generations get how much harder it is for people our age when we leave uni and stuff to just start a live that is nice and happy and fulfilling. so you're not alone and honestly even now i feel the same way just after i left uni. BUT you know you have the ability and that means you'll always be able to find a way. i was gonna buy five versions of an album today so i am deffo not the most responsible haha XD but thank you and also know that being insecure means that you're human and not an asshole because honestly all the people that were so overconfident that i've ever known (and i don't mean like - putting it on to help them get through stuff or performing but legit thought they were all that) have all been assholes. so it means you have a good heart and you will always find a way. i don't deserve being looked up to honestly but i'm honored you think i am <3 i'll always keep working hard - i wish i could give you a hug in person and let you know that things will be okay! please always feel ok to tell me your troubles and anything as well. am always here for anything you need too <3

love you lots and lots and lots xxxxx 🦢

babe i am finallyyyyyyyyyy answering this now ;___; i'm so sorry i kept u waiting but i wanted to answer this with all of my attention and not when i was busy bc that wouldn't have been fair to u :( so i hope u have been well and thank u so much for being patient !!! also u used my full name ........ what if i loved u with my whole heart <3

have u finally been able to get the rest you need ? i know work can keep our anxieties on high alert, which makes us even more inclined to burn out :( i hope u are able to rest well soon and not worry too much about work in the future ;____; but like i always say i'm really proud of u for pushing thru anything bubbie like u could easily just give up or have a mental block but if there's one thing i know both of us pride ourselves in it's always finding a way to handle stress no matter what the cost it does to our mental heath etc ....... which could be a bad thing but also there's lots to be said about how our work ethic is right ?? also LDSKFJS not trying hard .......... i think u mean like not stressing myself over every little thing right? there's a saying "don't cry over spilled milk" like CHILL it's okay it's just a mistake just clean it up and move on :') i really wish i can learn this mentality in the future ...... i just don't have those types of ppl around me in nursing school bc all of us are always on edge so i think i'm missing ppl like that in my life (besides my family but to an extent they can be classified as type A personalities too skjflfj) but anyways; u said u moved onto a new agency?? i hope that works well for u and they are able to allow u to grow and create things freely <3 good luck !!!

my job is just okay !! i won't be doing this in the future but it's nice to know that for a fact i don't think i could work in an office setting like this for the rest of my life HHH but it's okay, i don't mind organizing things for other ppl esp if it will help the company in the long run !!! and about my clothes SLKDFJ i totally agree !!! like we said we don't like our bank account hitting below a certain number so everything i buy is like an "investment" like u said hehe so most of the things i buy for example jeans are over $70 for me but i know i'll probably go a whole year not buying another pair and wearing those most likely everyday lol u know ? it's very warm where i am (most days lol) so i've been buying some light weight clothing !!! i don't like wearing jean shorts or anything like that, my fav material to wear in the summer is linen and cotton so i've been buying a lot of flowy linen pants <3 i got a pair from the store madewell, and bc i was on holiday this week i went to this one swimsuit store called everything but water and they sell pricier swimwear but i get so fed up trying to go to cheaper stores to look for swim tops bc i have bigger boobs hhhh and nothing makes me feel comfortable in my own skin so i don't mind spending money on something i feel comfortable in !! anyways i bought a bathing suit from there and then i think that's it ?? i was going to buy some jo malone perfume but it's so expensive so i didn't ;____;

U ARE BACK ON THE HEAVEN TRAIN WOO HOO <3 lol it is such a good song ....... i told u it's in my top 3 comfort songs <3 and about the eng album !!! yes i totally agree, i think they're aware of how much they're doing and honestly i think they should take advantage at every opportunity that comes their way as long as they feel that have control of the situation :)

and ALL OF THIS LAST MESSAGE MADE ME CRY WHEN I READ THIS :((( i tell my mom about all my anons lololol and she knows about u and ur work and i read this last part to her and she thought it was so sweet of u to say ;_____; it's kinda comforting knowing i am not the only one who has these doubts about the last year of uni :( i don't get much feedback from my family (besides my mom and grandparents) about if they're proud of me or not , i don't think they really get how hard it is for me being a nursing student but i just want to do well at whatever i do :( i want to be able to look at myself and go "hey u know what ur doing and ur doing really well".... i just hope i get there someday ;____; i have so many anxieties and maybe i need to talk to someone about them bc i think they hinder my nursing performance rather than help me but just knowing someone like u cares out there ........ i mean u know me but we have never met and u are so sure about my abilities and i can't tell u how thankful i am for someone like u <3 truly brings tears to me eyes <3 i want to give u a hug too :( thank u for ur kind words always i could cry right now ;_____;