#then we met up and i didnt feel anything
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fuckingarataswespeak · 2 years ago
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I don't think dating apps are my style, I feel like I'm being a whore for talking to more than one person at a time
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intramoon · 3 months ago
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She could be tying her hair back for any number of reasons ...
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the-red-hoodlum · 8 days ago
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killing people who don’t get an animals consent before touching them &/or ignore when animals are visibly uncomfortable with being touched.
#MOTHERS FRIEND DOING THIS WITH OUR CAT RN IM PISSED.#SHE DIDNT EVEN GIVE TOFU ANY TIME TO SNIFF OR ANYTHING??#Sigh.#tofu came downstairs to see what was up bc person was in the house#But person just immediately started petting her#even tho tofu was visibly uncomfortable and clearly just wanted a sniff test or sm#went to my room asap after that and tofu followed quick on my heels#obvs I let her sniff as much as she wants before petting her (if she even wants fuss) so she had a sniff and very much seemed to want fuss#so I gave her a few strokes and then sorta checked in and she swirled around and bumped her head into my hand (all the while her tail was#pointed straight up with the tip quivering a little every few moments - a sign of happiness/excitement to see a familiar person)#so we had cuddles for a bit until she hopped off my chest to go get water or sm :3#BUT I DONT GET WHY MORE PEOPLE DONT HAVE SIMPLE WHOLESOME INTERACTION WITH THEIR CAT LIKE THIS??#LIKE. CATS ARE SENTIENT. THEY SEEK AUTONOMY - ESPECIALLY BODILY AUTONOMY. WHY TF WOULD YOU NOT LET THEM GIVE/DENY CONSENT??#like. if you aren’t willing to learn enough about an animal to understand when it’s unhappy at the very least *why* would you interact with#one?? (This person literally has a cat as well.)#idk man these are the same sorts of people that’d probably do the ‘awww just give me a hug! I’m your auntie(/whatever)! why can’t i have a#hug? 🥺’ sorta thing.. like. BRO. It isn’t my/the cat ‘s fucking job to regulate/look after your own grown ass feelings.#SIGH..#just. The fact this person has like.. met tofu once. Lived in the same house as her for maybe 4/5 days one time and thinks the cat is#obligated to put up with her or whatever.#(This is how I imagine people be acting around cats when they’re like ‘idk man cats just don’t like me! Cats are just independent by nature#I’m just stood there having to listen to them shit talk a whole species bc they don’t understand consent (or at least don’t universally#value it - eg; with children; with animals) ANYWAYS. CATS ARE A SOCIAL SPECIES WHO HAVE DEVELOPED TO LIVE CLOSELY WITH AND DEPEND ON HUMANS#THEYRE OFTEN VERY AFFECTIONATE AND LOVING AND FORM LASTING RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR HUMANS AND WILL MOURN THEIR DEATH PROBABLY MORE THAN#HALF OF THE HUMANS WHO ATTENDED THEIR FUNERAL.)#If tofu doesn’t like you I don’t like you mate. I am wholeheartedly willing to cut people off if they act wrong with my cat - like - BRO.#IVE KNOWN HER LONGER THAN I HAVE MOST OTHER PPL IN MY LIFE. SHES GOT ME THROUGH WORSE AND IS ALWAYS HAPPY N EXCITED TO SEE ME.#That cat has done more for me than you ever have! She loves me with her whole fucking soul and I her with mine. If she picks up the wrong#vibes from you/you break any of her clearly set boundaries we are DONE.#(Obvs /nbh - nobody here. & generally lighthearted but uhh yeah needed to rant abt this bc I care strongly abt it and other ppl should too)
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bunnyboy-juice · 3 months ago
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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dewgongs · 2 months ago
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ughh why do i have to have njghtmares about them
#in it i was fighting w him over text and then hetm gangsd uep on me#sorry uemin so tired#i have been having a hard time being labelled a quote unquote cheater when i very strongly feel like thats not what happened#and it bothers me knowing that they get to justify their side and avoid responsibility by calling me that#when again. we were literally broken up when i sent that text to the wrong chat#and to be even more fair to me it was the lightest thing of all time it was playful kissies and lovings#like all of this is so wack. like to be labelled that while doing something so small while we werent even together#the drawing stuff is literally normal . ive done that with my kther friends before i even met sable. you are ridiculous#like it just aggrivates me because thats such a sticky smear to put on somebody especially when thats not even what happened#its so overblown and i think thats on purpose to have one last thing to justify your side#and ignore the fact that he was not the best partner to me and stressed me tf out all the time#like how am i a cheater when i played by your rules the whole time we were together#because of how insecure you are. uou let your insecurity become your reality#and i realized how much more taken care of i was with angelo and how naturally we flow together#its so natural to talk to him he is what i have needed. i would be foolish not to pick prince charming#over someone who i felt only fed me stress and anxiety and worry about everything including potential addiction issues#knowing theyre bipolar. knowing they have bpd. participating in dangerous behavior all the time#i feel like calling me a cheater when thats not what fuckin happened is just to handwave away wtf you did wrong the entire time#if i actually cheated id have been slobbering on angels meat the whole time like im sorry#id have been doing spins on it and gagging on it every night but the thing is i didnt#i stayed loyal to you while with you and confided in them as friends while you continuously demanded time from me#that wasnt organic and it was forced half of the time . god i hated playing shit with your stupid ass#so fucking monotone always wanting to do the same shit no variety and always getting upset and throwing tantrums over the smallest things#n then when that behavior once again gets put on me and i get more fucking stressed yeah i turn to my other friends#that arent anything like the other friendgroup because they dont do shit about anything and dont really gaf about snything#except for their own problems#and i confide in the other group because they actually show that they care about me. they relieve stress for me like friends are supposed 2
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bangcakes · 1 year ago
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#personal#i think that like... the dam's broken. for lack of a better term#or i guess the ice ???? idk man#either way. been messaging back n forth with him like crazy for the past few days#i just decided that like.... whatever. if i feel like saying something i should just say it to him !!!#and i think me being open has led to him being open....#god its so hard when both ppl only really talk when they have something to say JFJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJJD#like... i cant even make up a reason to talk to him. i cant pretend to be dumb n not understand anything. he'll know its bullshit NDJDJDJDN#n e way...... defs met my match here lmao. but really its been so nice just being able to talk to him when i want. bc waiting until being i#person was getting so !!@@@ long !!! like god. i didnt know i could miss someone so bad...... its so !!@@@@@@#gah !!!!!!!!!!!!#n e way. things are goin in the right direction#and hahaha !!!!!!@ i have a game plan to make sure we stay in touch too !!!!! me n one of my other friends promised to keep in touch with#each other and i was like oh should we invite everyone else. and she was like oh !! maybe ____ so i was like !!!!!!!!#so true !!!!!!!!!!@#gosh im so excited i really like them both so much we're all similar temperaments so ya..... ive wanted to make sure i keep them JFJFJFJD#n e way. we still havent asked him but hopefully he says yes !!!! bc he always sits behind us n im just like !!!! ik you wanna sit with us#so just sit beside us istg !!!! but ah ... i think hes shy#god hes so cute#and shes like not competition btw. like..... she has a bf. she knows i like this guy now (i spilled. i couldnt hold it in 💀💀💀). and ya !!#hopefully exciting things coming!!!
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yamikawaii · 3 months ago
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theres just something about being inherently unworthy of love
#the cycle of i need to make friends. i need attention. why would someone bother with me? i dont have anything to give. are we friends? why#arent you paying attention to me? tell me that you love me. but it could never be sincere towards someone like me. i cant be loved.#love isnt real. i am love. i am the only one who loves. it hurts. why cant i be loved? is anyone else real? is this a dream? am i dead? is#this hell? whats real is fake and whats fake is real. its wonderland. rabbits talk cookies make you big or small everyone is so confusing.#do others love me or hate me or feel indifferent? it seems to switch as random. one day you'll adore me the next its as if we never met. and#i have to keep making friends. i cant keep making friends. if i dont i'll end up with no friends. i dont know how to make more friends.#clinging to bubbles floating up scrambling to catch another as it pops so you dont fall. everyone blends together whats what whos who?#in the span of a few years i feel like an immortal tortured with the despair of outliving all their relationships#except everyone is perfectly alive just out of reach. but i cant just talk to people. thats bad. no one wants me. i cant do that to someone.#every bubble pops at some point. i cant find anything sturdier. fleeting bursts of attention are ok for now#but i cant even get that. so what do i do? i want to sacrifice myself to make people like me but i have nothing left to give.#whats the point of me? if i cant love and be loved if i cant find more than a few people who will stay for more than a second. what do i#have to do? please tell me what you want. i'm sure i can do it somehow. can i do it somehow? i cant. i cant. i cant anymore. im sorry. just#forget about me. you dont need me. youll be happier when you dont even know who i am anymore. i can disappear without a trace for you. thats#all i can do. take the weight off our shoulders. im just using you if you think about it anyways. to feed my own selfish desire for love i#never deserved. keep myself afloat while i drag you down. isnt it time for me to sink? in a shark attack punch it in the gills. youll be ok.#more than ok. free. i didnt want to bite your leg but i just needed something anything. i dont know any better and i never will. thats why i#belong in the depths where i cant hurt anyone. i cant do anything but hurt. what more am i good for? what more have i done? what have i done#for you? think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it.#its nothing.
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br1ghtestlight · 5 months ago
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one of the conflicts in this fwb fanfic im working on is so stupid and funny im obsessed with them. i wish i could post it on the aita reddit because im sooo curious what people would think about this situation i feel like the response would just be this
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autisticlee · 8 months ago
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I know it's wrong and bad to say this, but sometimes I really hate when my friends have other friends. (specifically when I can't also be friends with those friends) because every time I want someone to hang out with or talk to, the only couple friends I have are always busy with their other friends. when I want to plan something with them, they will always choose the other friends over me. they will cancel plans *with* me as soon as other friends ask, but won't cancel plans *for* me when i ask. they will use up their social spoons on other friends and leave none for me. always putting things with me off or simply not responding at all.
i'm always told by random people when I say I want mkre friends "it's better to have a couple great friends than many aquantances" or something like that. but honestly it sucks because you can't rely on 1-2 people to always be there for you every day or every week when you want or need someone. if you keep asking, you're seen as annoying and clingy and they will ignore you eventually (or worse)
it's annoying that they get to fill their social needs at all times, but I never get to. because i'm never the one that gets to go first in the social queue. and when it gets to my turn, it refreshes and i'm pushed to the back again.
the only solution I can ever think of is being friends with my friends' friends too....but for some reason!!!!!! that never works out!!!! (if my friends will even share their friends with me to begin with)
#and dont even get me started on when i share my friends with each other and they choose each other over me and kick me out lmao#WHY ARE FRIENDS SO HARD#why am i just a little creature that requires certain amounts/types of social interaction that never gets met#and no one wants to do anything about it. and im forced to sit here feeling bad about it because i cant fix it either fbbdbdfghhdhjrhfdj#this whole friend and human interaction and bonding and companionship bullshit is going to be lifelong issue and im not here for it#NO ADVICE IM GIVEN WORKS. IM TIRED OF ONE SIDED BULLSHIT WHERE ONLY I TRY. HUMANS ARE ANNOYING#im like a non human creature that wears human skin and everyone except me knows and they dont want me and i domt know why#i also dont have the energy to do the whole new friends song and dance where you small talk to get to know each other#and share your life stories. i rather just hang out and become friends through enjoyment of mutual enjoyed activity????#or something like that idk#i tried so hard to be friendly to friends' friend last weekend when we all hung out so i can be adopted into their friend group but#they didnt even tell me it was nice meeting me and hanging out and didnt even say bye to me. only to my friends#and i was too sad about that to say it to them instead as they walked away. theyre way more social and good at words#and i was overwhelmed and struggling to speak so i was waiting for the queue to say those things or something#i expected it like an idiot loser becuase i thought i did a good job being a cute gremlin that fits into the group that seems to have#other goofy gremlins like me. i thought maybe they can be “my people” or something. but then they turned around and left#after telling my friends bye. and didnt acknowledge me. and i juat kept smiling and turned around and walked away too#PRETENDING IT WAS FINE. BUT IT FELT BAD. BECAUSE I FAILED TO MAKE A FRIEND WHEN I THOUGHT I DID GOOD WITH THEM FOR ONCE#so “being confident/believing in yourself” like im told to do DIDNT WORK AND IT FELT WORSE THAN DOUBTING MYSELF. YOU LIARS. ugh fhdhdhfhjssk#WHAT DO. WHY LEE BAD AT THIS. WHY IT FEEL BAD. WHY NOT JUST ACCEPT BEING ALONE 99% OF TIME AND GIVE UP. WOULD BE EASIER#lee rants#autism things#i know its rude to invite yourself into a friend group but what if i try anyway 🤪✌️
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inmirova · 2 months ago
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I hate this person I'm talking to so much and I have to try to be nice and it's making me feel fucking insane I'm foaming at the mouth I want to scream
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bazelgeuce · 6 months ago
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I can't sleep :(
Rant in tags it's long
#i didnt want to but like i didnt really have a choice#i feel like an asshole in this situation even though Objectively i'm not#but it's because i'm 99% sure i burned bridges for bf too not just me#this would be an angry brother posting but. this isn't about how much i dislike the guy it's about how much i CARE#if your partner's brother was drunk as hell would you hide the key to his bike?#would you try to prevent his grandma from telling him she found it; knowing that she knows he's shitfaced?#knowing they'll give him the key and let him drive away?#knowing they'll forget that this is not the first time and won't be the last? that he crashes the bike at least once every 2 weeks#knowing that they're denying what drunk looks like due to past trauma with alcoholism (not the issue but relevant)#if your partner's brother was drunk; obtained the key; put it in the ignition threatening to drive somewhere ON A FUCKING BIKE#would you call the cops? because i did. i know acab and all but like.#do i just let him drive away and crash for possibly the double digit-th time? definitely can count it on two hands#do i let him drive away drunk and possibly never come back?#do i let that come to pass? i literally would never forgive myself. i dont even like the guy but i dont wish ill upon him#we tried so hard to prevent her from telling him. we really did. i know she was trying to calm him down but like. idk man#i feel fucked up and i dont know why#i wasn't trying to put him in jail i was trying to save his life. not that he would believe me or care#unfortunately for him his bike was against him. it is visually fucked up and battered and you can Tell it's been crashed multiple times#but what makes me the angriest is that his grandma and mom don't seem to fucking care? like AT ALL#they know he's drunk but they just care about not having conflict (as if that'll solve anything)#bf told him 'if you get on that bike im calling the cops' which is obvs met with 'do it pussy'#so i walked away and called them. he thought i was bluffing the whole time. i was not. they need to learn that shits not cool#everything is so fucking nuanced it's ridiculous. my hands were tied i genuinely didnt see any other way#if you read all this you are a trooper and i'm sorry you wasted your time on my drama but i needed to get this out and maybe i can sleep#its fucking 3:09am rip
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nothing-nothing454545 · 8 months ago
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i hate hazbin because the writing is all over the place and the fact they market what it is as a queer and progressive show pisses me off, you hate it because the art style has angles and that one guy has animal ears. we are not the same
#there are some design features i dislike but the preexisting art style they chose is fairly well executed#and the fact they chose that art style is admirable. its just that there are a few problems with that style but they work around it#however im not sure the same can be said about the writing#i think it doesnt fit the art style and what its supposed to represent. they gentrified the art style into being less queer#for a lack of better terms. you can tell im not a writer bc of how shitty i am at describing this#and theres a sliver of my soul that worries the writing is also some avant garde stuff only advanced writers get but.. im not sure#in any case i personally dont like it that much except for sir pentious and that one angel dust comic from years back#everything else is just messed up. unexplained and convoluted and doesnt feel like its building to anything#but seriously i was just at the pride parade trying to talk to literally anyone since 90% of my friends are online#after one of my groups went home early bc their heads started hurting from the music (and i didnt text that one other person bc i got shy)-#i had only one choice: the guy i met on lesbo night that seemed to know everybody and he introduced me to his friend whos into hazbin hellu#we both saw the show but when the friend left we were like yeah meh. but HE was like yeah i dont like how angular it is and i dislike horro#therefore: hazbin is cringe AND I WAS LIKE HUH#and then he added yea some people say those furries are cringe but not me haha. MY GUY hazbin.. is too queer for you?#bro you carried the transmasc bear flag for your queer only sports team and you know 99% of the cool hair people in the bar we went to#and hazbin is too queer for you. please. please.#i hope he doesnt use his tumblr anymore or at least wont tumblr search hazbin XDDD if u do sorry for dragging u a bit and also ur cute
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uzurakis · 8 months ago
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hii! could you please do like after a really big argument it like gets to the point that the reader wants to break up with then and how they would handle it? i just request that choso is one of them<3
WANT US TO BREAK UP, YOU SAY?
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featuring: choso kamo. gojo satoru. nanami kento. fushiguro megumi.
n. hi nonnie! thanku for the req. i usually don't write for choso, this is the first time i'm writing for him, i hope it doesn't stray out of his character. confession: i didnt proofread so.. enjoy </3
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GOJO SATORU
the room was heavy with silence after your heated argument. you stood near the desk, arms crossed, emotions swirling. as for him, gojo leaned against the wall, his sunglasses off, revealing eyes that bore into you with a mix of frustration.
"this isn't working, satoru," you fidgeted your nails and shifted your feet. "i think we should break up."
he pushed off the wall, taking a step closer to you. "hell no," he said firmly, those blue eyes you know so well never leaving yours. "i'm not letting that happen."
you clenched your fists, anger and hurt bubbling to the surface. "you can't just decide that for me. we’ve been fighting constantly, and it’s exhausting.”
the man crossed the room in a few quick strides, stopping just in front of you. "we're not breaking up," he repeated, voice low and steady. "you're upset, i'm mad, and we had a fight, but that doesn't mean we break up."
tears welled up in your eyes as you met his gaze. "you don't get it, satoru. i can't keep doing this.”
he reached out, his hand gently but firmly grasping your wrist. "you’re not leaving," he said, his tone softening but still commanding. "we can fix this. together."
you tried to pull away, but his grip held you in place. "toru, this isn't just about one fight.” then his grip changed into him interlocking his fingers with you. “we keep hurting each other…”
his expression softened, but his grip remained steady. "i know, and i'm sorry, darling. but running away won't solve anything. i love you, and i'm willing to fight for us."
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NANAMI KENTO
nanami’s expression remained calm, but you could see the tension in his eyes. he took a deep breath and walked over to you, his movements slow and deliberate. “please, sit down,” he said softly, gesturing to the couch. “we need to talk about this calmly.”
you hesitated, still seething with emotion, but his gentle tone made you relent. you sat down, crossing your arms defensively. nanami sat beside you, maintaining a respectful distance but close enough to show he was there for you.
“why do you want to break up?” he asked, his voice steady and soothing.
“like i said,” stating once again. unlike his, your voice cracked. “i feel like we don't have time for each other, not like we used to.”
he nodded, listening intently. “i understand,” he said, his tone even. “but breaking up isn’t the solution, sweetheart. we need to address it.”
nanami reached out, taking your hand in his. his touch was warm and reassuring. “every relationship has its challenges,” he said gently. “what matters is how we handle them. i believe we can work through this if we’re both willing to try.”
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CHOSO KAMO
his eyes widened in shock, and before you could react, he crossed the room and wrapped his arms around you. his embrace was firm yet gentle, a stark contrast to the turmoil in your heart. “please, don’t say that,” he whispered, his voice filled with desperation. “you can’t just say that, baby.”
you struggled against his hold, tears streaming down your face. “choso, don’t hold me back..”
he held you tighter, saying soothing words despite the urgency. “i know it’s been hard for both of us, but never say that, i don't want to hear you say that again.”
feeling the warmth and genuineness of his embrace, you drew in a shaky breath and found yourself losing resolve. “i just, i don’t know what to do with us.” your voice breaking.
choso loosened his hold just enough to meet your gaze, his love and concern visible in his eyes. “every relationship has its struggles, but i'm sure we both can overcome them. i love you, and i’m committed to working through this with you. so please, i dont want to give up on us yet."
he gently cupped your face in his hands, his touch warm and reassuring. “i’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. are you?”
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FUSHIGURO MEGUMI
your boyfriend’s shocked eyes became wider. “what? no!” he took a step forward, expressing a mix of disbelief and urgency. “that’s not how you solve this problem.”
with a hand raked through his hair, he was clearly frustrated. "i understand that we've been fighting a lot, but splitting up isn't the answer. we have to discuss our concerns and work towards–”
“i’m fucking trying, okay?” you hurried to cut his explanation. “you always have a logical answer for everything,” biting your lower lip, is he seeing that you don't need reasoned answers? but simply, perhaps some reassurance? “but it doesn’t change how i feel. it hurts, and i don’t see a way out of this.”
megumi took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “i’m sorry.”
“…”
“look, i need you to hear me,”
“i don’t want to fight either, heck, i’m too tired to argue,” he gently pulled you into an embrace. “but i don’t want to lose you. i can't promise you, but we can find a way to make this better."
"let’s be patient and work through our problems one step at a time.”
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@uzurakis
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uwooyoungs · 2 years ago
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zombiigrll · 3 months ago
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──────────────────────────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
IMMUNE? ⋆。°✩ carl grimes x immune!reader .ᐟ WORD COUNT .ᐟ ⭑ 2.1K ꩜ .ᐟ WARNINGS ⭑ hurt to comfort?, use of y/n, blood, zombie apocalypse stuff ofc, post-terminus era, references/slight spoilers to twd 5x2 ?? petname (angel - which also did we all collectively agree that carl would call his s/o angel? i see everyone use it i have before too its so cute .ᐟ SUMMARY .ᐟ ⭑ you get bit, but nothing happens. ꩜ .ᐟ A/N .ᐟ ⭑ hey guys... its been a minute... (45 days COUGH COUGH) i am so sorry i have been SO BUSY and i didnt even realize i had this fic almost completely finished in my drafts so i decided why not finally finish it!! (which is also why the ending might be a bit weak because i also have no written anything for 45 days LMAO) my favorite thing about the whole science behind zombisim is all the theories of if you could or couldn't become immune so i wanted to write a little fic because i love... zombie science.. nerd alert!!! ☝️🤓 <- me but also whats a carl grimes/zombie fanfic writer without writing at least one immunity fic!! hope u guys enjoy!!
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────────────────────────
everyone knew you were clumsy. you'd always have to be with someone, no matter what. that's how much people worried about you.
there had been plenty of times where you had been close to getting bit, and if you were alone, you would've been bit.
but now, you and your group were back on the road after the prison had fell. you all met up at a terrible place called terminus, and almost died if carol wouldn't have shown up. it was dangerous, and terrifying. but you had carl on your side, as always. he was the person who had saved you so many times. he was like your personal bodyguard.
you guys had eventually ended up at a church with a priest named gabriel. you felt uneasy being there. gabriel seemed, well, unstable. rick saw it too, telling carl to keep his guard up.
but after a while, everyone was inside the church, laughing and having fun.
you spot bob walking outside, which catches your attention instantly. no one else really seemed to notice, so you turned over to carl.
"i'm gonna go outside."
"do you want me to go with?" he asks, immediately sitting up.
"no, it's fine. i think i saw bob go out there. i wanna go check on him." you smile at him, standing up and walking over to where you saw bob go.
but when you stepped out, he was nowhere to be found.
"bob?" you called out, walking forward a bit more as you looked around for him. "where'd you go?"
you walked a bit further, leaning your arm on a tree as you looked past further into the distance, searching for any sight of bob.
but, to your luck, you were snuck up on. you heard a growl to your side, where your arm was leaning, and then a pain shot through your forearm.
you let out a loud shriek as you fumbled for your knife, stabbing the walker who was still attached to your arm in the head. you kicked him off, breathing heavily.
you could feel your heart pounding out of your chest.
you glanced down at the walker who was now laying dead on the ground, gripping tightly on your knife as you processed what had just happened. you lifted up your pained, bleeding arm.
"no... no, oh, my god." you dropped your knife and began wiping away the blood that was profusely leaking out of your fresh bite wound. "shit..."
you stared at your arm for a moment, attempting to catch your breath while watching your own blood drip onto the floor beneath you.
the doors to the church busted open, snapping you out of your daze. carl, rick, and michonne stood at the door, staring at you.
carl stepped a bit closer. "what happened? are you okay-" he stopped as he spotted your arm. his face fell flat and his eyes widened.
"it snuck up on me.." you quietly and breathlessly responded, tears falling from your agonized face. "i was looking for bob."
rick runs up to you as he realizes you had been bit. he grabs your arm, his face a bit panicked as he starts speaking. "we have to cut it off."
"no!" you tugged your arm away from his grip, holding your arm from him. "we don't have the stuff for that!"
"stop yelling." rick sternly ordered, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder. "let's go inside. i'm sure gabriel has the stuff for it."
you anxiously nodded, stepping toward the church with carl by your side.
"i'll get gabriel." michonne said, walking towards his office. "find somewhere for her to sit."
you take a seat in one of the rows, still holding your arm tightly.
"what the hell happened?" glenn asks, quickly walking over to the three of you with maggie by his side.
"she got bit." rick runs a hand through his hair. you look to your side and spot carl, just staring blankly, his expression the same as when he first saw your bite just moments before. he was speechless, and afraid.
you held your arm tighter as the pain increased, blood seeping through in between your fingers as you clenched your jaw. your breathing was progressively getting more and more ragged and uneven the more you panicked.
"i don't want you to cut my arm off.." you protested, your voice high pitched and wobbly. you closed your eyes tightly, a few tears falling from your eyes.
"we have to." rick shook his head. "otherwise you'll become one of them."
"i don't care." you sobbed, gripping tighter and tighter onto your arm. "i can't do it. i probably wouldn't survive either way, we don't have proper stuff for it." you could tell it was difficult for them to understand what you were saying through your sobs. "i just want to wait it out."
rick eyes widen, along with everyone else who were crowded around you.
carl finally steps closer, grabbing your other hand tightly. you could spot tears falling from his eyes. "please, y/n. i'll be with you, it'll be okay. please i.. i can't lose you."
you looked up at him through your lashes, pressing your lips together. "i can't, carl. i can't."
...
they had moved you to one of the rooms in the church that had something you could lay on. they tied your wrist to a pole and stood in the room with you.
you could barely keep track of what was happening. you genuinely felt fine, besides the side effects from losing blood.
"can you wrap my arm up..?" you requested. the tickling feeling of your blood dripping down your arm becoming too much, and you also wanted to test if that was what was making you feel sick.
being immune wasn't even a thought in your head yet. but you were just creeped out about not having any of the same side effects that anybody else had when they'd gotten bit. you were sweating, but you weren't feverish, that's just how the weather always was.
"yes, of course." glenn grabbed a thing of gauze out of his bag, going up to you and carefully but tightly wrapping it around the bite. he also grabbed a nearby rag to wipe the access blood that had been dripping off of your arm.
"...thanks." you sighed, looking away from everyone.
they were all just staring, waiting for something to happen. but nothing was. the awkward silence and suspense was killing you. you saw the sun starting to come up through the window, which means it had been quite a few hours since you had gotten bit.
you've seen people last a day, maybe the tiniest bit over a day, but you noticed that they always had obvious symptoms by now. and you still didn't.
you blew a raspberry, looking around the room. ".. i don't feel anything."
"what?" carl squinted in confusion, his voice still a bit brittle from crying. "like, you're numb?"
"no, like.. i don't feel any symptoms of turning." you laughed at how idiotic your sentence probably sounded to everyone.
"so, you're saying you're immune?" carls voice changed from being upset to just pure confusion.
"i don't know." you shrugged, tapping your foot on the hardwood floors. "i seriously don't know what's going on. the only time i felt sick was when it first happened and i saw my blood dripping. i feel fine right now, a little lightheaded, but i think thats from the bloodloss."
"look, theres no such thing as being 'immune.'" rick shook his head at your statement. "it might just be.. taking a while to settle in."
"dad, can you have a little faith?" carl turned to rick, glaring slightly at him before turning back at you. "i believe you."
everyone else seemed really skeptical about what was happening, exchanging confused looks with one another.
"we'll keep her in here for a little while, alright? if she still doesn't feel anything by tonight, then we'll untie her." rick sighed, looking down at you. you had been with everyone since the start, being there when carl reunited with rick and everything, so you could sense everyones panic when they first saw you get bit. and now, you could sense their pure confusion. people in our group have gotten bit before, but they'd show signs almost immediately.
"i can stay with her if you guys want to leave." carl said, sitting down right next to you. "i'll let you know if anything happens."
everyone agreed and left the room.
you laughed to yourself, looking over at the door.
"are you okay?" carl asks, looking at you anxiously.
"i'm fine." you turned your head over to look at him. "this is just so fucking weird. and we don't even know where bob went. i'm so confused right now. nothing is making sense." you let out another light laugh, shaking your head in honestly disbelief.
"maybe you're the chosen one." carl laughs, smiling at you. "i really hope you're being honest. i.. i don't think i can handle losing you."
you look at him with a lopsided smile, happy to hear how much he cared. "i wouldn't lie to you about this. i genuinely don't feel sick at all. i mean, i feel gross, but not in a 'i'm dying' way. more in a 'i just got my arm bitten into' way." you tried to make light of the situation, despite being terrified. carls expression stayed a bit worried. "..sorry, not funny. i don't want to lose you either carl. you're the best thing to ever happen to me, you know?"
his concern turned into a smile at your words. he leaned forward and hugged you tightly. all you could do was put your hand on his back, due to your other hand being tied up still.
"i love you." he mumbles into your shoulder.
you laugh, leaning your head on top of his. "i love you too."
...
a while passed, yet you still felt perfectly fine. your arm felt odd though, of course. you had been bitten into after all.
carl stayed by your side, telling you stories and just conversing with you to keep your mind and his off of the whole situation while everyone was out searching for bob.
you moved your arm up to your tied up one, itching at your tight bandages. “i want these off…” you dramatically complained.
“we should probably check on your arm anyways. even if you feel fine, there could still be something messed up with your arm.” carl says as he rotates his body towards your arm, carefully untying your arm looking at you for permission.
you nod, and he proceeds to take the bandage off. the teeth marks had dark bruises and dried blood around them, and your veins were darker and more apparent around the bite. it looked unreal.
you quickly looked away from the wound, shuddering. “holy shit.” you closed your eyes tightly.
you could hear carl stumble over his words as he tried to figure out what to say. “i… it… is it supposed to- um.. look like that?” he let out a nervous laugh, moving his hand to comfort yours.
you returned the nervous laugh, looking back at the bite momentarily. "i don't- i don't think so?"
your body was violently shaking, unsure what to do or what was going on. would you still need to cut your arm off? or would it still be fine, despite looking like that? you knew that you'd have to hide your arm for.. well, ever, if you decided not to cut your arm off. it could cause so many different issues if people outside of your group found out.
carl proceeded to grab anything he could find to clean your wound, as well as new bandages. you two sat in silence as he carefully cleaned your arm, the only sound being your light winces of pain as he applied the antibacterial ointment he luckily found.
he wrapped your arm back up and planted a quick, soft kiss onto your bandaged wound, looking back up at your flustered face with a smile afterward.
your face was hot, and you quickly averted your eyes away from his out of embarrassment.
he put his hand on your cheek and kissed your forehead, then pulled you into a hug right after. "i'm so glad you're okay."
you were shocked, but let out a flustered giggle before returning the hug. "thank you.." your smile kept growing and growing. then, the words "i love you." finally left your mouth.
he broke the hug and looked at you shocked, but then his big smile came back. "i love you, too, angel."
─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────
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hannieehaee · 2 months ago
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I know your request are closed but I just wanna send this before I forget 😓 (sorry if you’re already being flooded with requests) but could you do Jun x actress!reader? Maybe a costars to lovers plot? They act in a romance drama and the on screen chemistry is perfect because they genuinely like each other in a romantic way.
THANK YOU SM I LOVE YOUR WORK!! ❤️
18+ / mdi
Tumblr media Tumblr media
content: actor!jun, some small rivalry between jun and reader, smut, afab reader, semi-public sex, penetrative sex, etc.
wc: 1710
a/n: thank you so much!!! i hope you enjoy what i came up with<33
masterlist
"are you here to practice lines again?", you asked as you opened your dressing room door to welcome jun into your private area yet again.
he gave you sheepish smile as he walked in and took a seat on the couch the two of you would usually lounge on in between shoots, "already annoyed of me?", he asked as he settled in.
you followed him, taking a seat next to him as you handed him a drink, "just rethinking how good your acting skills could be if you need to go over the lines so often," you responded in jest.
"oh, is that how it is?", he gaped at you, giving you that big smile he always reserved for you.
it had only been a few months since you'd met jun. after being cast as the leading couple in a long-awaited chinese drama, you quickly became good friends. you were already well known for your good chemistry with one another, leading the drama to a renewal halfway through the first season.
being jun's costar was the easiest thing you'd ever done. he was an easygoing guy (easy on the eyes too), and just overall extremely likable. you didn't want to get your hopes up, but you liked to believe that he found you just as likable, considering how often he sought you out.
jun had grown a tendency of stopping by your dressing room every day after filming with the excuse of going over lines for the following day. this usually meant staying on set a little later than anyone else, but you enjoyed the company too much to ever even think of complaining. the overtime was completely worth it if it meant spending a little extra alone time with wen junhui.
there was a slight huge chance that the romance you'd been portraying on screen had begun making its way onto real life. you didnt want to get your hopes up, but if jun's flirtatious demeanor was anything to go by, you were pretty sure the feeling was mutual.
there was truly no need for jun to stop by and go over his lines with you outside of official rehearsal hours — especially considering that he had been acting since infancy. you liked to believe that he simply liked the alone time with you and wanted to keep you to himself for as long as he could. you only hoped he would eventually ask you out for real, or else you'd have to take matters into your own hands.
"show me your acting skills, then, wen," you challenged, gesturing at him to get closer to you on the couch.
with a smirk, he scoot over, taking hold of the stacked up pile of papers on the coffee table in front of you which contained the script.
"what do you want to start with?," he asked, "the confession scene from the twelfth episode?", he began listing off scenes, "the big conflict on episode ten?", then his grin grew bigger, "or the sex scene for the season finale?"
"please," you scoffed, "no way you can start with the sex scene. you've never done any sex scenes before, wen. i have," you challenged.
it was true. despite his history as an actor, he had never engaged in any explicit roles before. this did not diminish him as an actor, nor did you actually believe he'd have any trouble getting the mood right for the scene, but riling him up was just far too enticing. it was also one of the only areas where you had more experience than him, having done roles that involved such scenes a few times already.
"what, you think i can't make a convincing sex scene?", he fake gasped, "people always say our chemistry's unmatched, and we both know why," he smirked by the end of his statement, chuckling at your scowl.
"oh? why's that?", you challenged him.
"i exude sex appeal," he claimed, "i'd be the best sex scene you'd ever shot," he leaned towards you with a challenging look in his eyes.
"show me," you dared him, "if you're that good, show me. no script."
he swallowed a scoff, both shocked at at the defiant look in your eyes and the very sudden change of atmosphere in the room.
"you're serious?" he almost gulped at the way you reclined against the couch, allowing the angle to show him the heavy breathing that had your chest going up and down, "you want me to-"
"i wanna see if you're all talk. we haven't had any steamy kiss scenes yet, so show me. give me a preview of the season finale."
those were the last words you needed to say before he began invading your space, pushing you slowly until you were laying on the couch while he hovered over you. he was slow yet intentional in his moves, wordless as he adjusted himself on top of you.
he was slow as he lowered his lips onto yours, eyeing them heavily before closing in on you. contrary to what you'd believed, he started at full force, not bothering to build up the kiss and instead giving you all of him immediately.
the original scene involved a very slow build up with a steamy finish, so you knew within seconds that jun had thrown away any intention to actually rehearse the scene but rather prove you wrong about your assertion about his lack of expertise in the area. however, you knew that it was far more than that. the kiss felt like more than just arguing against your assessment.
you mewled into his lips when his hands went to touch you, gripping onto your waist to pull you closer and adjusting himself so he could grind his hips into your own.
"i thought i couldn't do a sex scene? whats with all those noises? i've barely touched you," his breath was warm as he chuckled against you, moving onto your neck to lay kisses there.
"shut up. this is nothing. i could do this in my sleep," you challenged.
it didn't take long for him to begin undressing you, frustrated huffs accompanying his every move. you ended up in mere panties and a bra while he remained in his boxers. far too many illicit touches and kisses were shared in between to count.
"why am i naked, wen? i thought we were just rehearsing."
"im just making sure i get my point across," he lied through his teeth, hovering over you once more in order to get the upper hand again.
"god, you're so pretty. no wonder everyone wants you in their shows," he awe'd at you as he took off your bra, hands softly touching at the uncovered skin.
"or maybe because i'm a great actress."
"yeah, but you already know that," he smiled.
"i already know that," you affirmed with a similar smile before connecting your lips again.
any pretense for rehearsing left you after that point. both your hands itched to get the other closer, finally ending up with him lined up to your cunt and with your hands pulling at his boxers, lowering them just enough to pump at his hardness.
"baby ..."
"thought you were good at this, wen. thought you were gonna show me your skills," you teased.
"shut up. i'll, fuck, i'll show you."
his hands copied your movements, sneaking beneath your panties to tease at your arousal with his fingers. his actions elicited a similar reaction from you, moaning into his mouth as you both played with each other, so close to finally connecting in that carnal way you'd been aching but not close enough.
you worked him with your hand as he did the same to you, only stopping when he huffed what sounded like a painful breath and pleaded at you to stop. you were going to laugh at him once more, tease him for his weakness at your touch, but you needed to feel him now and decided to let it go.
grabbing onto his own cock, he began running up through your swollen lips, further lubricating them with his precum and groaning at the pulse he felt under his touch.
"hmph, f-fuck," he cried into your lips upon beginning to enter you, seeking silent permission to move.
a nod from you and he began pumping into you, groaning at every single move. the stretch made your eyes roll back, making you lose your mind little by little at every thrust.
"you're tighter than i imagined, shit," he groaned.
"o-oh? you imagined this?", you couldn't help stammering when he hammered into you as he did.
"shut up," was all he said before burying his face in the crook of your neck, nose breathing you in and lips pressing onto the skin.
your nails dragged down his back, careless despite knowing you'd both get scolded by your stylists for adding to their workload. it was fine, though, you thought. this was all in the name of working on your on-screen chemistry after all, right?
but it felt like way more. jun may have fucked into you with conviction, but the words of affection murmured into your skin gave a different story.
"beautiful, fuck."
"feel like a fucking dream ..."
"prettiest, tightest cunt ive ever had."
those were some of the many words kissed and bitten against your skin. it made you so dizzy you didn't even register when your orgasm began to approach.
his hand had at some point snuck between you, toying at your swollen clit as his thrusts became erratic. the end was near and he wanted to take you down with him.
"with me? cum with me, baby," he practically pleaded as his lips found yours again.
it was like this that you swallowed each other's moans, keeping your pleasure as a secret between the two of you.
even as he filled you up, he remained inside you. he managed to sit you up, allowing for the two of you to cuddle on the uncomfortably small couch in which he'd just defiled you.
"so, no sex-appeal, huh?"
"shut up, wen. i'd run laps with you on set."
"wanna bet?", his hands began feeling up at your body with a challenging glint in his eye.
and yes. yes, you did.
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