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Cyber Sex 💿 M. Sturniolo
"W-was it good?"
✘ sub!matt, loser!matt, domish!reader, riding, hand jobs, titty sucking, one use of mommy.
PT 1 PT2 PT3
Decided to give yall an early xmas gift!!! enjoy the last part to cyber sex!!!!
Weeks.
It's been weeks since she had seen Matt and given him a blowjob. He had accepted his reward of taking her out on a date, but now it seemed like he was avoiding her.
Which was partially true.
As always, he was focused on his studies, especially with finals coming up. He stayed cooped up in his room or in the library, taking notes on top of notes. Passing all his tests was one of the only things on his mind, the other being her.
He wasn't trying to avoid her on purpose, but he will admit he's been milking the studying excuse.
It wasn't that he didn't like her, he was infatuated with her. It was just the fact the she was...well, her.
Everything about her was intimidating to him, the way she carried herself, the way she smiled, the way she squinted her eyes when she was up to no good.
She was a force to be reckoned with, and she knew it too.
So here she was, gathering the bags of takeout and other things, leaving her apartment with one thing on her mind.
Matt.
She doesn't take the elevator, knowing that the stairs would be quicker, and she's right.
Soon, she's standing in front of Matt's door, a determined look on her face. She knocks twice and waits impatiently for the door to open.
Unfortunately for her, it doesn't. She huffs and knocks again, but this time louder, the impatience she's feeling only getting stronger. Soon, she hears the muffled sound of cursing and some movement before the door opens.
" Hell-" Matt's breath catches in his throat as he sees her in all her glory. His eyes widen, and he fixes his glasses, looking off to the side.
"H-Hey what are you-" She ignores him and pushes her way into the apartment, looking around for a few seconds before setting her items down on the coffee table.
"Alright Matthew, let's talk." The tone of her voice makes him look down at the floor.
"You have been avoiding me, I don't know why, but you have, and to be honest, I don't like it. So what's your issue?"
He scoffs softly and crosses his arms, looking like a scolded child.
"M'not avoiding you..." He trails off, knowing good and well that he's lying. She stands in front of him and tilts her head, not believing him for a second. " Oh really? You're not avoiding me? Fine then, guess I'll go tell someone else that they wo-No!" He shouts unexpectedly. A small smirk makes its way onto her face as he watches him fidget anxiously.
"I-I'm sorry ok? I just....Like I said, you make me nervous, and then finals are starting, so I've just been everywhere... I-I didn't mean to make you feel bad o-or anything." Her smirk drops as she realizes this runs deeper than him simply avoiding her.
He truly was scared and nervous; this was all new to him, and he didn't know how to navigate it, and finals coming up wasn't helping him at all.
She softens her demeanor as he continues on, rambling in an attempt to clear the air. "I-I do want to take you on a date...I just don't want to disappoint you o-or embarrass myself..." She wasn't dumb, she could read between the lines.
He didn't want to disappoint her sexually.
"Matt....You don't have to worry about th-"
"Ok but it is something to worry about! I'm 21, and I've never done anything remotely sexual! All I do is stay to myself and study! I might as well be called a loser! hell, maybe even an incel!"
She stares at him with a straight face, "Matt-"
"And then here you are, the most experienced person I've met, the most prettiest girl, and yet I'm being a pussy and won't even take you out on a date! I'm fumbling! Hard! If this were a test, I'd fail!"
She finds herself smiling softly at his academic analogies.
"Are you done?" She asks him once he finally stops talking. He huffs and adjusts his glasses, running a hand through his hair. "Good. Now shut up and listen to me." She takes a step closer to him, his breath hitching.
"I don't care about any of that, ok? I don't care that you're a virgin and that I was the first girl to hear you moan." His cheeks flush a soft pink, his palms getting sweaty.
"What I care about is a boy that I find cute, sexual feelings aside, won't take me out on a date.....Now, I got takeout and a Lego set I'm not building alone. Do you want to join, take a break from studying?"
So there they were in Matt's living room, giggling and building a Lego set, the empty boxes of takeout discarded on the coffee table. The tension once in Matt's shoulder had disappeared, now knowing nothing was expected of him, and she wasn't worried about any of that.
He was able to relax, slowly coming out of his shell. She enjoyed his company, his witty remarks, his dad jokes, and the way he laughed. She was getting to know more about him and his life.
He was a good person to be around.
"I don't know where the piece goes!" He grunts in frustration as he tries to shove the Lego piece against another. She chuckles and snatches the instructions off the floor and holds them up. "This is why we have instructions, but no, you're too good for instructions.'' she teases.
He looks at her with a face of mock annoyance, "I'll have you know I've built multiple Lego sets with no instructions!" He points towards the various sets displayed around his apartment.
"Ok well, clearly your no instructions streak is over." Matt huffs and snatches the instruction from her grasp, shooting her a sharp look when he hears her snickering. He looks down at the small words and begins to read them, his eyes darting across the page as his tongue pokes out in concentration. As he does so, she takes the time to really examine him.
He had on a white thermal along with some grey sweatpants, his hair was a bit messy from how many times he ran his fingers through it, and he just looked
good.
"I think I got it!" His shouts of excitement brought her out of her daze, her eyes trailing down to the paper pamphlet falling to the floor. She sits on her knees and moves closer, their faces side by side as he puts the Lego piece in its correct spot. His hands moved quickly as he put the other parts together, his body bouncing in excitement.
It doesn't take long for the display to be finished, Matt's head whipping towards her.
"Done! Told you I didn't need the-" His words trail off once he realizes how close she is. She feels his body tense and his breath hitch, his eyes darting between her lips and eyes.
She quickly takes notice, the corners of her mouth twitching gently.
"Do you wanna kiss me?"
Her voice comes out in a teasing whisper, her eyes taunting him. He gives a slight nod, his tongue darting out to lick his dry lips.
"Y-yeah...."
"Then kiss me."
It's cute to her how scared he was, the way he slowly leaned forward and softly placed his lips against hers. She hums and stops him from pulling away, deepening the kiss and taking full control, allowing her tongue to enter his mouth. She pushes him back against the bottom of the couch and climbs into his lap, pressing her chest against his.
She giggles softly feeling his cock begin to harden underneath her, the tent growing bigger and bigger. She grinds against him, enjoying the way he whimpers softly.
She goes to pull his pants down, but he quickly grabs her hands, stopping it from going further.
"W-wait wait! I-I'm sorry, I umm-" He clears his throat as he pulls away from the kiss, his breathing ragged.
"Hey hey-" She caresses his face and chest gently, trying to calm him down. "What are you saying sorry for? We don't have to do anything you don't want to."
"I-I want to I just...." His face turns beet red as he thinks about him being a virgin. He knew that she already knows this information, but having to say it out loud, the thought, It was just embarrassing for him.
"I know, that doesn't bother me Matt."
"I-It doesn't?" He was confused, why would it not bother her? Why isn't it bothering her? Don't girls want a guy who knows what he's doing in the bedroom?
She smiles and plants her lips against his once more, " Nope-" she trails a few kisses up to his ear before whispering,
"- It's the perfect way to teach you what I like."
He can't help the groan that leaves his mouth, the thought of her morphing him into her perfect plaything, her teaching him how to please her....He loved it.
He slowly lets go of her wrists and allows her to pull his sweatpants off along with his boxers. She wastes no time, wrapping her hand around him and slowly jerking him off. He sighs out, the stress and tension in his body fading away with every stroke.
Her thumb swipes over his tip, his lips parting slightly. Her hand felt better than his, it was so soft, smaller than his own.
He's embarrassed with how quick his balls tighten, his dick twitching in her grasp. He was close to cuming, and that's not what she wanted.
She pulls her hand away and moves back, pulling her own pants and underwear off. She settles back down in his lap, grinding their bodies together. Her bare and wet cunt only provide him with more pleasure, his breathing speeding up rapidly.
"Gonna let me ride you?" She asks breathlessly, her own pleasure rising due to his tip nudging her cunt repeatedly. He finds himself nodding eagerly, too excited and lost in pleasure to form a complete sentence.
She smiles and crashes their lips together once more. She situates herself on top of him, lining his tip up with her entrance before sinking down.
It's always the slip-in that gets her.
Her head falls onto his shoulder as his head tilts back onto to couch cushions, her thighs quivering at the stretch.
He was perfect, just as she had thought. He stretched her out just right, filling her up to the point where she found it hard to breathe.
This was a new and exciting feeling for him, it took everything in him not to cum on the spot. Her spongy, wet, and warm walls felt different from the ones inside her mouth, and he didn't know which ones he liked better.
She begins to move back and forth, grinding against him before starting to bounce up and down. Her soft and pretty moans flow through the apartment, making it harder for Matt to think straight. She was like a siren, clouding his mind with her sweet melodic songs, luring him to the ocean for his death.
His hands stay limp at his sides, his fingers twitching as they itch to touch her.
But he was scared, scared that if he did touch her, she'd disappear, and he'd wake up thinking this was all a dream.
"Fffuck Matt, s-so big!" She pants in his ear, her arms wrapped around his neck as she continues to bounce on him.
Her thighs and calves quickly become tired, a pout forming on her face as she looks at him, begging him to help and touch her.
"T-touch me Matt - Shit!- P-please!"
He couldn't say no to that face, he'd be dumb if he did.
So he finally caves, wrapping his arms around her like a bear and helping her keep up with her own movements. He adjusts his legs so they are propped up, and gently begins to buck his hips, meeting her every time she lands on his lap.
She gasps as he hits that special spot deep inside of her, her orgasm getting closer and closer. Their lips connect once more, their tongues messily fighting and their teeth clashing.
He holds her tightly, his fingernails digging into her skin, leaving small indents.
He needed to be closer.
Without a second thought, he removes her shirt, her breast falling free and bouncing in his face. He doesn't know what came over him, but neither of them was complaining.
She throws her head back as he takes one of her nipples into his mouth, and fondles the other. He sucks gently, using his teeth to gently nibble on the skin.
He moans in delight, his eyes closing, his glasses lopsided as he finally gets to experience all that he's been waiting for.
"Shi-it! S-so close, please please please, don't stop!" She begs, urging him to push her over the edge. He follows her directions, not changing anything he's doing, and continuing to pleasure her.
He feels his own orgasm approaching, his whimpers turning into loud and deep moans.
"Fuck, pl-Oh god! M-mommy!" He didn't even realize he said it, but she heard it loud and clear, and it was just enough to push her over the edge.
She moans loudly and falls against his chest, her juices trickling out and down his shaft. The feeling of her walls clamping down on him repeatedly was enough to make him follow her lead, hot spurts of cum painting her insides.
They lay against the couch, the both of them panting softly, still wrapped in each other's embrace. She slowly peels her body away from his and smiles at his flushed cheeks and dazed expression.
"W-was it good?" He asks in between labored breaths, his nerves clear as day. It was obvious he was eager to please her, wanting to hear her praises and words of reassurance.
"You were perfect pretty boy......Can you handle another round?"
#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo smut#smut#matthew sturniolo#matthew sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matt girl#emo!matt#matthew sturniolo x you#matthew sturniolo imagine#matthew sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo imagine#loser!matt#loser!matt sturniolo
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i loved ur hc about breaking up with the gang! could you do the gang breaking up with reader?
The Gang Breaking Up with Reader
DARRY would have the simple excuse of not having enough time for you due to his busy work schedule and taking care of his brothers in the small amount of spare time he had at the end or beginning of each day. You had tried to convince him that you didn't care that the only time you got to spend together was in bed after a long day, but he wasn't having any of it. "I'm sorry," he says. "I really am. I don't want to do this but it's only fair." "Darry, how often do I have to tell you that I don't care about you not being here all the time? I enjoy the time we have together already and I know that you're busy and stressed but that's okay. I love you. Please don't do this to me." "I'm sorry," he repeats, turning to look away from you. "I'm heading off to work in five minutes. I want you out of here before I get back."
SODAPOP would hate to have to break up with you but he feels like it's the right thing to do. It's definitely due to his lack of self-confidence in a relationship since he found out about Sandy cheating on him and moving away. Don't get me wrong, he's confident in his looks and everything but when it comes to relationships, he tends to beat himself up about every tiny detail. "Y/n, I gotta tell you something," he says, his voice quieter than usual as he stands at your front door. "Yeah? What's wrong baby?" You ask, confused as to why he was at your house when you were supposed to be at his place in less than an hour. "Please don't call me that. It'll only make this harder." You were really confused now. "Huh? Soda what are you talking about?" "I can't do this anymore." He says, straightforward as ever. "What?" You ask, tears welling up in your eyes. "Why? What are you doing/ Did I do something wrong?" "I don't know. I don't know if you did something wrong. Tell me if you did won't you?" "Soda, you sound crazy right now," you say. "Talk to me, don't do this." "I can't. I just can't How do I know you aren't two-timing me, huh?" You were shocked at what he just said to you; appalled even. "You think I'd do that to you? You really think that low of me?" He stays silent. You nod, close your eyes tightly and when you open them again, a single tear rolls down your cheek. "Stay there," you say, walking away from the door and leaving him standing there for about 5 minutes, wondering if you were ever going to come back. You dump all of the shirts and jackets and little crafts he'd given you in front of him on your patio and throw a plastic bag at him afterwards. "I can't believe you think I'd do that," you said. "So much for trust."
PONYBOY was nervous when he realised he wanted to focus more on school than on his relationship. He didn't want to disappoint Darry with his grades dropping since he was with you. He felt as though you held a restriction against him from succeeding even though he knew you weren't in his heart. "Y/n," he says to you as you're walking him home. "Yeah?" You ask, turning your head to look at him. "I- um. I have something to say but I know you won't like it." "What is it?" You ask. "You can tell me anything, I promise I won't get mad." "I want to break up." He says, bluntly. "What?" You ask, stopping dead in your tracks, his house is only a few hundred yards away. "I need to focus on my schoolwork and you're not letting me do that," he explains, angering you more and more by the second. "What do you mean I'm not letting you do that? Pony, all we ever do Is read and study whenever we're over at each other's houses," you reply. "And the one day a week where we aren't studying, we spend some time together and out with the gang. Just like everybody else on a Saturday." "Just respect my decision," he says. "Respect? Why should I?" You ask, getting angrier by the minute. "You want me to respect you breaking up with me for pretty much no reason because the one you 're giving me makes no sense." "Just go home," he snaps before turning around and walking away, leaving you standing there, tears rolling down your face.
DALLAS would break up with you right after he gets out of the cooler. He had convinced himself you were cheating on him with Sodapop, similar to Sylvia. You had gone over to Buck's the second you had found out he was free again and walked in with a huge smile beaming across your face. However, when you opened the door, Buck gave you the dirtiest look he could before mumbling something under his breath and watching you walk past him and up the stairs. Weird. "Hey, Dal!" You exclaim, opening the door and jumping onto his, wrapping your arms around him. "I missed you." Usually, he would hug you back and kiss you on the head, telling you how much he had missed you too; even when he was only in there for a couple of nights. This time, he shoves you away from him, anger displayed across his face. "Dal?" You ask, confused. "What's wrong? Did something happen while you were in the cooler?" "You tell me, y/n. You tell me what happened," he says, snarling at you. "I- I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't done anything. at least, I don't think I have," you say, trying to think if you had done anything wrong in the three weeks he had been gone. "Don't pull that's hit!" He yells, scaring you and making you jump a little. "I know what you did, you little whore! I know you fucked him!" What the fuck was this guy talking about. "What!? I didn't fuck anybody! I haven't had sex since a few nights before you got done in, and that was with you." "Oh, bullshit!" "Who did I fuck then, huh? Who are you convinced that I slept with?" You ask, yelling in his face, hurt in your eyes. "Soda." You almost laugh in his face but remember that probably would be the smartest thing to do. "Seriously? Soda?" You say. "You really think I would do something like that? How could you?" "How could I?" He yells. "How could you! You fucked my friend!" You shook your head and scoffed. "I don't know why I bother. You're clearly not listening to me and you don't want to believe me. Ask Soda about it and then you'll see that I have not laid a finger on him."
JOHNNY breaks up with you after weeks of weighing up the pros and cons. He felt that you were too good for him and someone with a life as messed up as his doesn't deserve someone as perfect and as gorgeous as you. "Johnny?" You ask, seeing a figure lying on the concrete in the lot as you're walking home late from the drive-in. "Is that you?" "Y/n," he says. "I'm sorry." "Why are you sorry?" You smile, helping him up onto a bench, sitting beside him and holding his hand. "You have no reason to apologise." "I do, though," he says, hesitating before continuing. "I can't keep doing this." "What do you mean?" You ask, worry clouding your eyes. "I can't keep doing this. I'm constantly embarrassing you when we're out together; I can't tell that people make fun of you for dating me. I'm nowhere near good enough for you. I can't sit here and watch you waste your life away for someone like me. You deserve some rich fancy soc like Rndy or Bob." "Johnny, what the hell are you talking about?" You say, letting go of his hand. "I love you more than anything. I don't care what anybody else thinks and if you think that I should then why? Why should I care? if they saw you the way that I do then they'd all understand." "I've made up my mind," he says, not bothering to look you in the eyes as he gets up, his back facing you. "And there's nothing you can say to change it." With that, he walks away, leaving you sat on the bench with hot tears streaming down your cheeks, leaving red lines on the skin. Cold. Lonely. And confused.
STEVE has some trouble with girls. He always ends up saying the wrong thing and, similar to Johnny, he feels that you are way too good for him to treat you the way that he knows he eventually will. He knows damn well that one day, you'll get sick of him being a dick and leave him anyway, just like everyone else. So why bother waiting until then when he could just end it right now? The phone rings. "Hello?" You say, picking it up after a couple of dials. "Hey, babydoll," Steve says, his voice making you smile. "Hi, handsome," you reply. "What can I do for ya?" "I have to talk to you about something," he says. "But I want you to hear me out first." "O...kay?" You say, confused about what is about to happen. "Am I in trouble?" "No," he chuckles. "But I know I will be soon." Your smile drops. What is he doing? "Firstly, I want to tell you how much I love you. I think you are the most amazing woman I have ever met and I want you to know that this is not your fault and I have loved every moment with you." He says, making a tear form in your eye. You know what he's doing. "Steve," you whisper. He never shows his emotions like this. the most he's ever said to you is that he loves you and thinks that you're the most gorgeous broad he's ever seen. He has never admitted his feelings this extremely before. "I can't let you be with me anymore. I don't want to be a part of your life anymore. I know I'll just ruin it. I'll be over tomorrow morning to pick up my stuff. I love you, y/n." He hangs up. You hold the phone to your ear and drown in the continuous beep of the ending line. You had never been so hurt in your life.
TWOBIT breaks up with you because he finds someone else. I know this makes him out to be a bad person but I feel like he has so much love for you but when he meets this other girl, he knows that if he loved you as much as he thought he did, she wouldn't have sparked so much interest. "Two," you say, looking up at him. "Who's Kathy?" He lowers his head, looking at his hands in his lap. "Shit, baby." "Just tell me," you say, a tear falling onto your cheek. "She's a girl I met a few weeks ago," he admits. "I bumped into her at the dingo while I was waiting for you and the gang and I realised that I liked her. I'm so sorry" "Do you love her?" You ask. "What?" He says, looking at you with watering eyes himself. "You heard me," you say. "Do you love her, Kieth?" You only ever called him Kieth when you were upset or angry. Right now, you were both. He nods, "I think so." You say nothing and stand up, picking up your bag, putting your shoes on and taking one last look at him. One last look at the man you thought you would spend the rest of your life with. The man who had made you so much happier in the three years of dating you had been through. And you leave. Never to speak to him or your friends, the gang, ever again.
#the outsiders#the outsiders 1983#dallas winston#dallas winston x yn#darry curtis#johnny cade#matt dillon#the outsiders x reader#the outsiders x yn#dallas winston x reader#johnny cade x reader#steve randle x reader#sodapop x reader#darry curtis x reader#johnny cade x yn#steve randle x yn#darry curtis x yn#sodapop x yn#ponyboy x reader#ponyboy x yn#twobit matthews x reader#twobit matthews x yn#ralph macchio#patrick swayze#emilio estevez#tom cruise#rob lowe#thomas howell
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Credits to Velnnnn on Pinterest for this image
I've just started playing Tlou for the first time and as much of a scaredy cat as I am, I'd really like to complete at least the first game. I am playing on VERY LIGHT (judge me all you want but I don't play games to stress myself out, I play them for fun and immersion, which yes, believe it or not can be achieved on the easiest setting).
That being said, it's giving me ideas. About this man specifically. Gas mask Joel Miller. The man that you are.
So with that in mind, please enjoy this purely gratuitous porn with very little plot.
Warnings/tags: Legal age gap (Anywhere from a year younger than him to 30 years), Joel's an asshole but we (collectively) love him anyway, Heavy on the mask kink. No Ellie in this bc you're the precious cargo here, awwh and no Tess bc I can't do my girl like that . Flirting, Vaginal fingering, Praise, Canon Typical Violence, clickers, Language (Swearing) No betas, apologies in advance for any spelling or grammatical errors but I'm here for a good time not a long time. 🤷
Silent, not quiet.
GasMask Joel Miller X Immune Afab! Reader - One Shot.
It had been three days since you'd left the Boston QZ with this complete stranger. He was actually making you miss the uncomfortable life you had back there.
Joel Miller was a fucking asshole, Marlene hadn't been kidding when she'd told you that.
'Prepare yourself, because he's not the easiest person to be around'
Understatement of the fucking century. If you ever see Marlene again, you're pretty sure you're going to strangle her on the spot for that one.
He was just so coarse. You couldn't do anything right in his eyes. You were quiet when he told you to be quiet. You stayed put when he told you to stay put. When you tried to tell him you knew how to fight, he wouldn't have any of it, telling you to 'Shut up and listen to him' before going on ahead to stealthily kill four runners and a clicker all on his own.
You couldn't wrap your head around it. He was absolutely infuriating. Treating you like a child. Treating you like you were a fucking China doll instead of a grown adult. At least that's how you felt.
After he'd taken out all the soldiers that were swarming the Capitol building looking for the two of you, you both sprinted into the subway, bullets whizzing by your head as more of FEDRA boots hit the ground.
"Spores. Fuck" he hissed as he hastily pulled on his gas mask and grabbed you roughly by the arm, tugging you into a dark, empty subway car, pinning you against the wall, pressing himself flat against you as you hide, hearing the approaching sound of footsteps making their way into the tunnel.
Your heart is pounding in your chest right now, not from fear but from something else entirely, feeling him pressed up against you like this, trying to control his breathing after exerting himself.
You're eyeing him in this mask, which surprises you, considering how much of a dick he's been since you first left with him. Maybe it's not about him, maybe it's about the fact that you haven't gotten laid since before the bite. If the wrong person saw it, you'd be toast. Your brains would have been splayed out across the sidewalk so fucking fast if FEDRA found out.
You realise you've been staring for a second too long when his head cocks in your direction, Hazel eyes narrowing as they assess you. "How are you breathing in this stuff?"He whispers, not wanting to alert the soldiers to your position.
You respond with a small shrug, cramped against the wall. "I wasn't lying when I told you I was immune. You're going to have to trust me some time or another."
A flicker of recognition fills his gaze but it's gone as fast as it had arrived when the soldiers announce their retreat. "They got away! Fuck it. Let the fucking clickers have 'em let's move out"
It's silent as you both listen carefully, not daring to move or breathe too loudly right now.
You're staring at him again, it's hard not to. Something about him in this fucking mask, it's an awakening. An unwanted one. Especially given the situation you're in.
"Okay I think they're--" His eyes narrow as he clocks you surveying him again for the second time in the last five minutes "What?"
Oh fuck. Learn to be more subtle.
"N-nothing!" your nervous smile and the way you answer just a little too quickly, doesn't convince him.
"Y'sure darlin'?" He drawls, you can't see it, but you know hes smirking under that fucking mask. "Yer lookin' a lil nervous right now... Wouldn't happen to be 'cause of me, would it?" Cocky bastard. So sure of himself.
You scoff and roll your eyes heavily, attempting to counter his accusation by putting on a facade of indifference. "Oh puh-leez. I'd rather kiss a clicker."
The hand that had been pinning your shoulder to the wall, slowly drifts down, calloused fingers grazing your collarbone. "That so? Well I didn't offer a kiss, darlin'" The way his voice is like honey, filling your ears with his deep, rich baritone has goose bumps breaking out all over your body and heat curling low in your stomach. He's stoking the embers, trying to ignite that flame inside you. He's succeeding.
Now isn't the time or place for any of this, but your mind is hazy with adrenaline and lust, mixing together in an intoxicating cocktail. Shifting slightly to arch your body against his, letting him feel the soft, warm curves of your body tight against him, you speak with a voice as smooth as silk "No? Then what were you offering me, Miller?"
It has the intended effect on him, feeling him getting hard against your hip
It's a challenge. It's permission. As much as you despise how he's been with you these past few days, you haven't been fucked in so long and he's here, throwing out all the signals that he's down to break that dry spell with you. Right here, right now.
"We do this, we do it my way. We clear?" The stern tone just makes matters worse, feeling the damp spot in your panties starting to become uncomfortably sticky. Authority has always been a turn on for you.
With a slow nod and a desperate little lip bite as his green light, his hand slides down, tracing over the curve of your breast, knuckles brushing over your peaking nipple.
The tiniest of sighs leaves you at his touch and you realise how truly touch starved you've been, there's only so much pleasure you could get from your own fingers.
From under the mask, his eyes stay fixed on your face, watching as your lips part, making those little noises for him. He's enchanted by it and he needs more, just like you do.
Your breath hitches as his hand begins to trail further down your body, undoing the button and zip on your jeans before he goes that step further, slipping past the denim confines. A low groan leaves him when he finds you soaked already. "Baby, you're a mess already...and I've hardly even touched you..."
You feel the prickle of embarrassment on your cheeks from that comment, the fact that he'd gotten you all worked up just from close proximity and a stupid mask was insane, unfathomable. But here you were. Despite that, you're chasing his touch with your hips, needing him to soothe the ache between your legs.
"S'okay darlin'. Ain't gonna make you wait. No time for that" With that, he slips his hand under the elastic, wasting no time in finding that sensitive bundle of nerves with his fingers. You realise just how long it's been since someone else touched you by your own reaction, biting your lip to hold back the moan, fingers curling into the collar of his faded plaid green shirt.
He starts by rubbing in small slow circles with his middle and index finger, watching and listening for the little cues from you before he quickens the pace. Your restrained moans and heavy pants, combined with the way your brows pinch, tell him everything he needs to know.
His hand dips lower, circling his digits around your entrance, collecting your essence and dragging it back up to your clit, rubbing in tighter, faster circles.
It's at this point that you slap a hand over your mouth, you're pretty sure FEDRA are gone but the last thing you need is for them to come running back, drawn by the sound of you being pleasured.
"S'okay baby. I've got you. You're doing so good for me, c'mon lemme make you feel good" Joel croons in your ear, only slightly muffled by the mask.
When he hears your breathing start to get shorter and sharper under your hand, he takes his oppertuinity, sinking two thick fingers into your velvety heat, without any resistance. "Atta girl... You gonna cum for me huh? You know how... Fucking. Filthy. This is? Letting me... Do this. To you. Right now?" He puncuates his words with deep thrusts of his fingers, his thumb finding your clit to conduct a dual assault on your senses.
You have to bite your hand to keep yourself from making too much noise, eyes rolling back in your head as you begin to crest, feeling yourself trembling. His free hand snakes around your waist helping you to stay upright, if you were lucid enough you'd consider this a sweet gesture, right now though all you can focus on is his fingers inside you and his heavy breaths in your ear.
If someone had told you 3 days ago that this man would be fingerfucking you while he wears a gasmask, you'd have told them they were bat shit crazy, but here you are.
You're just about to reach your peak when you both hear the echoes of something metallic falling and rolling across the floor. Both of you freeze in place, eyes wide as his fingers are still inside you. You're listening closely, waiting to hear a walkie talkie crackle or the formation footsteps that tell you the soldiers have returned.
But no, it's worse than that. Much worse.
The telltale clicking has you clenching for a whole other reason right now, attempting to push his hand away, but he doesn't move, eyes narrowing like he's zeroing in on the noise himself.
"S'fine. It's not close. As long as we don't make too much noise we'll be fine." by we he means you. "I need you to be silent, got it? Not quiet, silent"
Your pulse thrums in equal parts nervousness and arousal. The thrill of being caught would usually have you begging already, but this isn't a scenario where you'd want to be caught. Clickers aren't something to be taken lightly.
Rationality is screaming at you to tell him to stop, but you don't want him to stop.
"Keep going." You say in a breathy whisper, clamping both your hands over your mouth now.
Without missing a beat he starts again Not bothering to build back up to it, you're still on the edge of climax and he can feel it in the way you're clenching around his digits.
He'd give anything to murmur praise and filth in your ear right now, Joel's incredibly talkative during sex, loving to talk his partners through it with praise and authority. Right now tbough he holds off, dropping his head to your shoulder, curling his fingers to hook against that spongy spot inside you that usually has women gasping. Fuck he's so hard right now, wondering what you actually sound like when you're completely untethered, thinking about what it would be like to have you making those noises as you come apart on his cock.
It's taking everything in you right now not to make a single noise, you can hear the clicking echoing in the subway tunnels, to you it sounds like it's getting closer but if it were attracted to your sounds, you'd know by now. Dying with your pants down wasn't on your list of priorities.
You can't hold back any longer, wanting nothing more than to cry out his name as you cum. But you can't, instead you grab his shoulder, nails digging into the material there, leaving the other hand clamped firmly over your mouth.
You can hold back the moans but what you can't hide is how hard you cum on his fingers, your release drips down his knuckles as he fucks you through it, the quietest of groans leaving him in return.
When you're back down to earth and no longer trembling, he slowly removes his fingers with a wet pop. If he didn't have the mask to worry about, he'd absolutely suck them clean. Instead he settles for wiping them off on his shirt, he knows he'll be smelling you for days on him. He fucking loves that.
///
As you right yourself in the subway car, buttoning your jeans back up in a post orgasm stupor, he goes off to dispatch the clicker with ease, as per usual.
Once you hear the all clear from him, you hop down out of the car, rubble crunching under your boots.
"C'mon let's keep movin', should be able to get out through the east side if it's clear."
You think for a moment that he's gone back to being the stoic asshat from before, that is until what he does next.
He reaches out to gently grip your chin between his fingers and thumb, the very same that had just bought you the quietest orgasm of your life. "Don't think this means I'm done with you darlin'. We need to find somewhere to bunker down tonight. Somewhere secure. Because the second we do, I need to be inside you. I need to hear those pretty little moans of yours for real. Got it?"
Maybe travelling with Joel Miller won't be so bad after all.
Hours later, he proves you right about that.
///
Tags: @lovely-vamp-princess @joelmillerisapunk @almostempty @itwasntimethatdidit40 @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @cheekychaos28
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#the last of us#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x you#joel miller x afab!reader#joel miller x female reader#the last of us game#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us fic#the last of us smut#troy baker#joel miller smut
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I finished Veilguard, so spoilers ahead!
I didn't really get any pics of the end cause I was focused on what was happening so I didn't capture my Solavellan ending (I think I'll just reload right before it to get pictures before I delete my save) but that truly made me sick I love them sm - when they were speaking Elven to each other like my pookies 😖 Solas in general will always make me so sad. He's so tragic and I love him. Overall though the ending was just wild, I knew something was weird with Varric but I didn't necessarily guess THAT ??? that shit was straight crazy and replaying it is gonna make me like hyper vigilant to how the other characters react cause WHAT do u mean u sit there and let me be crazy as shit low-key. anyway I'm gonna play again and mayhaps I'll play Alya again some time, I still haven't fully decided who I'll play next but I'm excited.
My only complaints really are that I wish there was more romance (which EVERYONE said) Taash's romance was nice, and they're hawt asf but definitely could've had more dialogue and scenes specifically! Especially like I remember telling my partner that I wish I could erase my memory and romance Solas again. His romance was just so good, partly because he's Solas but also I felt there was a decent amount of content in DAI that seemed to fall through in Veilguard. Also, a lot of things felt sort of rushed I guess? Some of the issues or anything like that to me seemed to be briefly brushed upon before we moved to something else. This wasn't everything but it did seem to happen often (like the thing w Solas and Mythal at the very end... there's a lot implied there!)
Overall though the game is very easy to play, which I'll never complain about, I enjoyed most of my companions and it'll be fun to explore other romances, options, and just kind of see what I pick up on now that I know certain things. but yeah, I kinda regret not taking any endgame pics but I'll remake Vela at some point and get that ending again. I'd like to make Phaedrus (my Dorian romance) too at one point so we'll see. It truly has me itching to romance Solas again teehee
I guess one last thing - I'd like to say the theme of the game was very interesting, which I think is why I felt that it fell short right at the end. The theme of regret has a lot of potential and I feel it wasn't as explored as it could've been, but I was still happy for Solas in the end. I can't imagine playing a playthrough where you don't help him 😭 I guess I could maybe understand but I just couldn't do it. I truly feel bad for him at the end of the day. I just wish it explored it a little more like we got to see with Rook in the fade quest.
#solas#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#mine#veilguard#alya mercar#dragon age rook#rook#solavellan#commentary#thoughts
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So anyone who follows me knows I am 100% a SatoReed shipper. But knowing this @pearlypairings and @more-better-words raised this possibility, and I've got to say, I can see it. It'll never replace my OTP - which really only kicks into gear in hypothetical Season 5 in my fics anyway - so let me brain dump on y'all.
Talas is a woman who knows what she wants, and as much as she's using Reed to get to the sphere, she's unlikely to be your standard honeypot operative. She's Andorian; while sex is nothing to be ashamed of, it's also not to be used lightly. She's unlikely to sleep with someone who doesn't interest her. And let's be real, Malcolm is very interesting to a soldier of her caliber.
OP is right; it's the one time on the show where Reed is shown as completely relaxed around a woman in whom he's interested. (Yes, he's completely relaxed around Hoshi outside of the enchiladas scene; they have incredible chemistry right from the frostbite scene, they really riff off and get each other, there were lots of little clues that more was brewing - but it never actually turned into anything on-screen.) So it's entirely plausible that Reed and Talas would have made one hell of a power couple if she hadn't been using him to get to the sphere.
I do think that if Talas had slept with Malcolm, she would have been ashamed of deceiving him. I don't think she's built to be a spy; she's a soldier and she doesn't like playing games (and neither did Shran, both likely feeling that it impugned their honour). I can get behind Reed & Talas hooking up and simply enjoying each other with the understanding that they weren't planning a relationship, but it being more fun than a standard one night stand.
There would very likely have been a meeting of minds and spirits - military backgrounds, both trained and skilled in intelligence and security work, both tactical officers on their respective starships, dedicated to their work and their crews, ready to do whatever they must to safeguard their species, but ready to work together to achieve their goals. Giving up their honour and ethics with a struggle and then only because it's what's needed for their missions to succeed, but not happy about it.
And let's be real, they are both freaking hot AF under those uniforms.
I think Talas' ulterior motives rattled her because she wasn't expecting to respect Reed as much as she did. She might have gone in with an attitude of, a one-night-stand with a soldier, okay sure, if nothing else she gets a decent lay out of it - and then she meets this man who's very much like her, and like Shran, dedicated and intense, a man of integrity - and it becomes more complicated than a simple honeypot.
And looking at relationships, he's not with anyone, there's no cheating, so why the hell not? He's a lot more relaxed and comfortable around Talas than he is with the Viznian (?) woman, the Orions, T'Pol during pon farr (ignoring the wisp since that wasn't actually him), etc.
That said, I'm not sure anything between Malcolm & Talas would necessarily be a long-term, committed relationship, given their similarities - I do think Malcolm needs someone who's not exactly like him, because I think he's quite fragile under that tough exterior, and I think Hoshi brings that combination of strength and warmth and implicit trust he needs to both give and take from a partner.
At the same time, that no-bullshit attitude of Talas' I think might also have helped Malcolm overcome his shitty self-esteem. Game recognises game, and Talas isn't going to waste her time seducing a weakling, in mind or spirit (his body is clearly not weak in any way). So I reckon she could have made great strides in flicking that switch that made him not just confident in his abilities, but in himself as a person.
So yeah, if I were to choose anyone other than Hoshi to ship with Malcolm? I'd be far more likely to ship Talas than pretty much anyone other than Shran (sorry Shranchers) (we were outright robbed of more Shran-Reed interactions and I bet there would have been flames on that bridge in Season 5 if Shran had joined the crew).
Admittedly I have read some really good Mayes, and again, the military background comes to the fore - I can see it playing a big role if he were to go for someone not Hoshi, who I think is both strong and gentle in the way he needs; but if not Hoshi, I'd really see him with Talas or Shran and then maybe Hayes before anyone else.
And the Andorian polycule opens up so many possibilities, not everyone would have to be super tough universal soldier, after all. So yeah, Malcolm and Talas are very much within the realm of possibility in my book. Hell, now I have brain tingles about a 6-strong squad, ffs.
(Of course, only if Hoshi is not in the picture, I'm not throwing over my OTP for anyone else, this is purely a what if exercise.)
Criminal how these two never went anywhere. They are. Made for each other. The trust issues. The military family. The unashamed flirting. It's the first time Reed has ever been normal around a woman in his entire life. She cured his daddy issues with 1 sentence.
She would have been the type of fiery and strong woman who always has strong opinions and wants to decide everything, and he would have been the "sure honey, whatever you want, your wish is my command :)" kind of man. UGH. We suffered a robbery.
#malcolm reed#lieutenant talas#andorian#star trek enterprise#why the hell not#game recognises game#within the realm of possibility#don't discount Reed & Talas#andorian polycules#could include humans#especially tough little bastards
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To elaborate more on the Pesterquest stuff -
Alternia is a hell world. It's shitty to live in, even if you're a highblood, unless you fit a very specific mold of person AND are lucky enough to be born of a high caste. Every troll character we care about is, in some way, fucked over by their relationship to their society; Eridan and Vriska get it the worst, having been forced to participate in the murdering side of things since they were young, but every lowblood is screwed and every highblood is made worse even just by their passive participation. Kanaya becomes less sympathetic because she seems completely at peace with the society she grew up in, and Feferi wants to enforce casteism, even if it's of a different flavor. Gamzee and Equius both hold genuinely casteist beliefs and attitudes, which slip out and alienate them from the people they care about.
Putting a friendship simulator into the middle of all this is... a choice, I guess. I'm not going to begrudge anyone for wanting that or liking that, but it's going to be inherently at odds with what Alternia is and is meant to represent, and thus, fundamentally at odds with many of the characters' arcs and even basic personality traits, so heavily are they influenced by the shit society they grew up in.
For a non-Eridan example, Karkat loathes himself in massive part because his society loathes him. He's kill-on-sight and lives in daily terror of death. He wears a symbol at all because not having one marks him as even more of a freak, even though he knows that that symbol is connected to the empire's biggest rebel, whose footsteps he is expected to follow. The reason he's so obsessed with being leader-y and earning his teammates' reapect, or the respect of anybody, is because he's so deeply insecure about whether or not he even deserves to exist.
If you soften Alternia to the point you can write a lighthearted friendship simulator in it, then that characterization... goes away. Karkat is no longer motivated by deep, overwhelming insecurities, which drive him to idolize the society that deems him unworthy, mistakenly believing that if he can find validation in that society, he'll feel less bad about himself. Instead, Karkat is just kind of an asshole!
It's the same way with Eridan. He and Karkat are equal and opposite in this way - while Karkat is marked for death by his society, Eridan belongs to the extremely privileged caste of sea dweller royalty - even moreso than Feferi, as Feferi is slated to be murdered by the Condesce as soon as she comes of age (and her ridiculous optimism is likely something she cultivated in outright defiance of this fate). But it turns out that being a sea dweller sucks shit, too, if you aren't the extremely niche type of person that society deems "correct."
Eridan is not actually casteist and genuinely likes his land dweller friends - and this is unacceptible. Not only that, but smaller "unacceptible" offenses are wrapped up in big ones - despite not liking murder and feeling guilty about it, murder is objectively the correct thing for Eridan to be doing, constantly, to the point of it being "all [he's] ever done practically," because if he doesn't fulfil the duty of his bloodline to be murdering lusii (and by extension, their charges, who are culled when their lusii die), EVERYBODY dies. The constant push-pull of trauma, societal expectations and obligations, the fate of the species, and the fact that he is inherently not the "right" kind of person for his society, are pretty much his entire character. He's basically a walking ball of anxiety and emotional turmoil.
So, again, if you soften Alternia to the point where you can write a story about Eridan wanting to see Shrek in a public theater (something he would not actually be able to peacefully do in canon Alternia - at least not without taking off his cape, hiding his fins, and going anonblood - as sea dwellers are considered ridiculously hostile to the point even Gamzee's nervous about being on the beach for too long), Eridan ends up being just kind of an asshole!
Pesterquest!Eridan is, and I cannot stress this enough, fundamentally not the same guy as canon Eridan. They have practically nothing in common, from the fact that PQ!Eridan is willing to do something for leisure, to the fact that he isn't widely feared and the movie theater doesn't empty out in a panic when he turns up, even down to the fact that he likes femme fashion (canon Eridan goes to Lengths to lean into masc fashion) and Shrek (canon Eridan is a hipster). Hell, even the fact that PQ!Eridan SMILES is a massive deviation from canon!Eridan, who has never once been depicted smiling, and probably hasn't for many sweeps.
Also that he has that much beef with Sollux when, canonically, the two had a lukewarm mutual dislike and didn't even bother interacting until Feferi was added to the mix and Eridan became mad that Sollux was dating her. He wasn't even casteist about him until then, and after, even Sollux and Feferi don't think he's casteist, they just think he's ashenflirting so he can get into a quad with Feferi. Like come on, if you're going to feature another troll in Eridan's route, 1) make it be Karkat, and 2) have Eridan cheat on you the whole time with Karkat like he does to Feferi.
Eridan is just overall a wild choice in a friendship sim - I can't even blame them for just writing an OC and putting an Eridan skin on top - because societally, Eridan isn't even supposed to have non-sea dweller friends. The sea dweller/land dweller race war is something the Condesce deliberately put into place in order to keep land dwelling nobility in line, and Equius cites it as one of the reasons he never got along with Eridan. Like, the very fact that Eridan talks to two land dwellers on friendly terms (Kanaya and Karkat) is a MASSIVE deviation from what he's "supposed" to be like, and a huge hint that he's not as casteist as he'd like to appear. You are genuinely hundreds, if not thousands, of times likelier to end an encounter with Eridan either orphaned or dead than as his friend. He's an unstable maniac, and there's a reason so many members of his team don't like him even though he's legitimately not casteist and they mostly seem aware of it (nobody really complains about or even notices Eridan's casteism by the time they're on the meteor - his contradictions are really obvious, and it's likely that they've more or less realized that he's full of shit).
Again, I don't begrudge anybody for wanting or liking PQ. Who cares, really. I'm just saying that as a canon discussion blog, there's not really any place for PQ because it's so far removed from canon that, like, there's not really anything meaningful to discuss about it. The setting and characters in PQ are fundamentally divested from canon, and not even in an AU way. And it's totally fine if that's what you like, but, yeah, like.
Was Eridan written well (where "well" = accurate to canon): no. Maybe he's fine as an OC with an Eridan Minecraft skin slapped on, but that's not my beautiful son, that's not my baby boy.
What did they get wrong about Eridan (where "wrong" = inaccurate to canon): all.
What route would I have written for Eridan: he shoots you with a gun and you die. And then maybe cheats on you with Karkat
#not tagging bc its technically a hate post but i CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH#its ok to like pq its ok to enjoy pq#it is like not a big deal? who cares#end of the day it's all fake stories that arent real like who gives a shit#im just never going to have anything interesting to say because pq is just like#not really my thing? haha#i dont particularly like fluffy feel good stories#or visual novel/dating sim style gameplay#so i don't engage with it beyond skimming recaps of each route#thus i cant judge the actual quality of the writing#for all i know it's troll goddamn shakespeare all up in there#i looked at eridan's route and assumed that if that was how fast and loose they wanted to play with canon#then there wasn't really anything in there for me that i'd enjoy#totally just guessing that they deboned karkat's character too#maybe because he's a 'main character' and people like him more he didnt get as mangled as poor eridan#but also i dont really care#lmao
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community college is so funny because half of the teachers are like "For this class you need to use lockdown browser for all quizzes and tests. You need to buy this 70 dollar textbook, and all papers turned in must be in APA format with a title page even if they're only 500 words long. I will not accept late assignments. Also you have a minimum of 4 assignments a week." and the other half are like "you don't need proctoring for the final exam I trust you. here's a download link to a pirated copy of the textbook. as long as your writing is coherent and demonstrates an understanding of the material I literally could not care less what format you use. I can't figure out how canvas works so I'm not giving you due dates, just make sure it's turned in before the grading period ends. your only weekly assignment is a forum post with a minimum of 100 words."
#my favorite teacher so far is still the film history professor I had in my first semester.#he was very old and didn't understand how canvas worked at all and sometimes had trouble opening a video file#but simultaneously he was tech literate enough to recommend we use firefox with an ad blocker#because whenever someone missed class and was like 'where do i go to find the movie' he'd be like 'use an ad blocker and google it'#he said the school made him stop emailing links to free movie sites because people would open them on chrome with no ad block#and there'd be borderline malware on them. like this guy gave me the impression he was like. a veteran movie pirate lol.#that class had barely any assignments. like there wasn't a final exam or anything.#he just wanted us to write a paragraph or so answering a few questions about the movies we watched. it was chill.#and i also learned a lot actually. like i didn't know what a nickelodeon was before then. or the Hays Code.#the movies were genuinely good. i never thought Id be that into old black and white movies or westerns for example but they actually slapped#some of them had really mature themes and i definitely started to understand the people on this website who are like#'if the only media you consume is children's media you should maybe branch out instead of calling steven universe problematic'#because a lot of the movies we watched depicted very 'problematic' things and were able to directly address them because they are for adults#(to clarify I didn't just like kids media before then. i just mean that it introduced me to some older stuff i didn't think I'd like)#(but i ended up liking a lot. it also made me realize that movies made today are kind of shit. which i also already knew)#(but it put it more into perspective because I have more to compare it to)#im rambling now. community college is pretty swag i enjoy it. and i do get along with the teachers who have crazy requirements too lol.
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LMAO so funny thing is everyone knows the whole Sonic and Shadow looking alike thing is total bullshit and I totally agree those comments they try to pull in the games and show(s? I'm not technically a Sonic fan I dunno if it's multiple) make basically no sense to me but then my Mom comes in while watching Sonic Prime and says "So what, Sonic has a brother or something?" and this whole other world has opened up to me and I've seen the truth of it all
#so to clarify I do not consider myself a Sonic fan since I have never played a Sonic game and I've never read any of the comics#and idk the lore cuz I've never really bothered to watch other people play it and I have watched some of the shows#y'know my grandma had 4Kids so sometimes I would catch Sonic X on TV#but literally most of my knowledge of the Sonic franchise is just having people talk to me about it#like when I was a kid my grandma babysat these kids who were older than me I forget how old I was like under 10 I think#and one of the kid's big interest was Sonic so I would just sit and listen to him talk about Sonic the entire time I was there#he would play the games too I think but my brain didn't process any of that so I have no actual memory of the screen#I would mostly just pay attention to him talking cuz he would talk about it while playing it was great#so that is the base of my knowledge and then after my grandma stopped babysitting them it was radio silence#until y'know people would occasionally bring stuff up in videos I'd watch and I'd look @ videos about people talking abt Sonic#occasionally and see like memes or YTPs of Sonic or y'know abridged stuff#but I literally never actually watched a Sonic game until Frontiers came out and then The Murder Of Sonic the Hedgehog#and Sonic Prime is the first Sonic show I properly sat down and watched which show is great btw I enjoy it a lot#but yeah and it was vaguely purposeful like I was keeping myself away cuz I know how I am about stuff and I WILL try to learn EVERYTHING#if I get too interested in Sonic as a franchise#oh I did play Unleashed sometime after it first came out and couldn't get past like the first fuckin level but tbf I was like 7 years old#possibly 8 years old cuz I'm not 100% sure how much later I got the game but like I was really bad @ any game that wasn't just like#spamming buttons since I grew up on fighting games lmao#but yeah I dropped the game almost immediated I do not count that for anything#but yeah long story short: all my knowledge is second hand like I still think I know a good amount for what it's worth but#I wouldn't trust my own knowledge
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You know, looking at a diet soda can it occurs to me that it might not be so wretched to me if the cans weren't so unpleasant
Like we know that things like color play a role in how our brain perceives things, and I realized looking at the can that they're always this bland but at the same time nasty looking silver and it just... it looks foul and I think that compounds with the fact that I also just plain don't like diet soda
My point here isn't to say anyone else shouldn't like diet soda, just how I never realized how much of an impact the can has on me not liking it... there's just something offputting about it to me
#I don't ever drink soda these days#like I drink so little soda that root beer is basically something I treat like a dessert at this point#and it's funny; cause I drank nothing but soda when I was a teen#it was just kinda like a switch flipped one day; no idea on why#which is a shame; cause I've known people who really really wanted to stop drinking soda and... I wish I could tell them what I did#but... I kinda didn't do anything; I just changed#would love if I could give practical advice#now; you'll never hear me shitting on people for drinking soda; or have me sitting here telling people how awful it is#we all know what soda is; I mean man... you wouldn't have helped me if you lectured me back when I was drinking nothing but soda#in fact you'd probably have held me back from whatever clicked to make me stop cause you would have annoyed me#...but I don't miss it; now it's so damn sweet to me cause I got sometimes years without drinking it#nah... occasional root beer at a specific pizza place or with dessert; that suits me just fine#anyway; what my real point was is take my thoughts on diet soda with that grain of salt that I don't like regular soda either#I'll take regular over diet any day cause I prefer the sweeteners... like... if it's gonna be a once in a blue moon thing#I know which sweetener I'd rather taste; and it's not gonna be that big a deal to me either way cause I have it so rarely#but yeah; when I make this observation know it comes from someone that never drinks soda#so it's not like my input is that important or useful#...and yet... I'm not gonna go look up how to spell it; but you know barques... barks? you know that one root beer has a silver can#and that wasn't as much of a problem though... I think that even though I liked it the can was a hang up for me that spoiled it a little#really I just like all the brands of root beer; they're all different; but all good in their own way#I should go to Japan and preform as a masochist for them; since my understanding is the general consensus there is#that root beer tastes like medicine; let me put on a show as a weird american who drinks the thing they think is bad and enjoys it
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napoleon movie was not good tbh
#script was not good didn't make a good use of history & didn't really justify being 2hr40min long imo#it had some nice cinematography in parts but.#idk maybe I'm just being mean but even as a long historical movie enjoyer i wasn't a fan#thoughts#i felt like sometimes also it was trying to do that sort of modern humor slant to history thing which Can work (eg the favourite) but didn'#also it was weird abt the french revolution in a way I didn't rlly enjoy but I'd have to chew that one over before making any serious crit#& my knowledge of napoleon is v patchy so I can't really say anything there except it didn't really feel like it developed him much at all#which. idk how. it feels like it should have done#overall an extremely meh altho sometimes pretty film tbh. idk#<- i did smile seeing the rain at waterloo though thank you victor hugo she is like a celebrity to me#sorry adding more as I wait for the bus but. how do cut the entire peninsular war & invasion of italy etc etc & still have it drag#also again i felt like the dialogue was quite bad but maybe I'm being too mean#esp bc the other people in the theater did seem to enjoy it ajskdjkgky. so who knows#wait i Will say that I did quite like the mysuc though. that was good.#*music#also we got a ship interior w middies at the end#the french revolution bit really did leave a bad taste in my mouth though
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Hey everyone back on another episode of why the fuck is my mother like this?
#ok rant time#i was thinking about enjoying a movie since i haven't in a long time and she was sleeping#i turned off the lights and sat down to watch it but she woke up and got into the room asking why I'm in the dark multiple times in an-#-aggressive way and turned on the lights#she then started asking 'what are you hiding from me you would only be in the dark if you're hiding something'#she ruined the whole mood and my night and then fucked off to sleep again#i can't enjoy a movie or really anything anymore cause she's glued to my fucking hip#if i smile at my phone she asks what I'm doing if I'm texting with my phone she asks who I'm talking to if I'm laughing she asks what I'm-#-laughing about if I'm watching something she asks what I'm watching if i woke before here she asks what i did and what i ate before she-#-woke up#stop just fucking stop i don't want to see your stupid fucking face anymore shut up get away from me I'm a fucking adult leave me alone#I'd be happy with her being annoying if she wasn't a terrible fucking human but she is i fucking hate this so much just shut up shut up#i fucking hate this house so much i want to burn it down with me in it#why the hell do i have to live with her constantly annoying me venting to me taking out her anger on me but my siblings can have their own-#-lives outside of this#this isn't fucking fair i never fucking asked for this any of this why why the hell is it always me that has to suffer#why the fuck is it me that got bullied and hit by my eldest brother for years but then i got threatened to be kicked out of the house by my-#-mother i was a fucking child why the fuck do she always side with anyone else that isn't me then has the fucking nerve to demand i treat-#-her like a friend she will fucking never be my friend i won't forget what she did and what she does she will never be my fucking friend
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if there is one thing i will never recover from with crestoria's crossover being gone for good, it's that we'll never ever know the story behind transgressor yuri.
if there are two things i will never recover from with crestoria's crossover being gone for good, it's that leon and aegis' loyal friendship will never ever return.
#GTF Crestoria Things#it is rare for leon to be on that kind of respect level with someone let alone risk his own reputation as a traitor to let someone escape#by which i mean in destiny he only ever rly did that for stahn bc stahn was the ONLY person screaming over leon's suffering#and BEGGING him to talk to him and not take on everything alone#so i'd be hard pressed to say he truly made that last second decision for any other reason#other than stahn getting through to him bc if stahn hadn't said anything nobody else was all that worried abt doing so#for him to do that for aegis even in a setting where he wasn't going to be in mortal peril#still risked him becoming a transgressor if anyone had had time to record that#i.e. local dude helps local sinned traitor escape and is by association also a sinner#and that may have affected the ease of his search in restoring stahn to human form#which stahn prob would not have minded but it would still increase the difficulty for leon's search all the same#with yuri forget it im going to be permanently S T R E S S E D that we will never know that story#and i don't think they'd play into the possessed-not-really-yuri thing again after doing it in asteria#and in rays it was only a cameo thing. i fully believe that was actual yuri bc it would fit into his canon-mixed-with-crestoria#so unless the devs for some reason decide to tell us what their plans were for yuri we will never know#and it's been too long now since cresty went down like do i have to write this shit myself#they robbed me of transgressor yuri meeting vicious too woe is me cresty team#im still so desperate for them to turn crestoria back on like pls it's not just my crops anymore it's me too im also dead#i know they won't turn it back on and heck all the data for it is probably long since byebye BUT#even if i enjoy the manga it's not the same without the crossover#i would kill for them to give us that game back it was my fave gacha ever ;;#i say that with the full bias of the fact that i obliterated everything with default leon and completely maxed him in every aspect#but also just the fact that i want cresty's crossover back s o f u c k i n g b a d
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withering whenever it's like "can't believe they did this Horror in tv y7 media" type thing When what that means is "made a reference to r rated horror movie" like can't believe an evident approximation of Recognizably Specific character or sequence or whatever is in there. like why not. and why is that in & of itself Impressive like well is the scene actually good / is whatever the Reference is being used for effective even without going "i get that reference." do we expect a kid to get the reference. do we expect it to be that motivating to be like "oh shit here it comes. clapping & cheering for Getting The Reference which is the only reason i showed up" like i fucking guess. that "yes, i too Get The Reference" motivation sure Apparently existing but it's so alien(tm) to me (oh my God this media that's not Teens & Up showed a Xenomorph(tm) (but not (tm) so as to be sued?) how?? &, the vision of this, i guess) like does the thing (oh my god. another generally recognizable horror movie. or movie poster) make sense if you don't go "ah, i know exactly what's being referenced :)", is there any broader Effect even if you do Get It. idgaf about clapping b/c They Said (A) Thing i recognize from other media & can like turn & be like "ah did you recognize this as well? delightful" like help. agonizing even if it Doesn't have any meaning If You Do Not Get It. was horrified myself at some interview doing a billions(tm) style Movie Quotation to expand on what someone said by going "oh it's like that scene in movie where she says quote & does moment that makes a trailer" & i was like yeah i do know that material but why was that Specifically invoked to make a point so generic it's barely relevant to that elaborate interruption....like that obviously i think it can be a lot of fun if someone is like "ah i too know that thing" but only if that leads to relevant in depth shared enjoyment of Some sort of specific element. not like oh hell yeah high five over the most superficial thing, or it being a bummer / Shame if you Don't too know that thing, who give a shit. i've never seen anything ever. but preexisting References / whatever passed around description/invocation of peak recognizable / memorable / relevant element sure reach me such that like oh yeah i Know Of xyz sequence without having ever seen that thing. probably without necessarily realizing b/c it had any function in its source material without knowing "ah, this is a reference. & i know it" & like there's no [wow this is a reference to whatever] that would motivate me in & of itself, i think the peak motivation was this sweet spot of like, i was Barely Online before being fourteen & already liked things as an individual experience so the idea that there were other people Liking & Knowing the same thing seemed a lot more impressive for a time lol. but it would still have to be specific enough, might've been like "ooh a reference to thing??" several times & then been like okay that wasn't that rewarding lol
obviously a matter of Taste like idc it's grating to me but have fun with [a reference??] revelry, i'm not making a specificass blog post to an audience of Four with this drive like "oh how i wish that this was Illegal" just like idgaf about wordplay/pun haters like whee yippee i'm a connoisseur, we're obviously having different experiences, i'm meanwhile also having the experience that i don't give a shit about Getting a reference alone or along with anyone else, regardless of any other effect [that which happens to be a reference] has / is used for. or it's like the Huh, What, of "when i like i song i'll memorize at least part of it probably, i like to sing along, if not Extra liking it & memorizing Most or All of it, perhaps with extra effort" (me) vs other people like huh wha i've never memorized a song in whole, much less on purpose, b/c i liked it. vs even if there's a song i really like (like a source material being referenced that i really like) i'm not gonna respond to Just The Title or effective title like half line from the refrain or anything, unsung. gimme a karaoke moment. idk
#perfect example that wasn't even what made me think of this but Just Today i back recognized a kid's media ''''horror'''' reference#during distinctly a sequence i recognized as a classic ''if you weren't playing this for comedy obv the next route would be horror'' sitch#fop:anw ep one where they're explaining their human bodies aren't Real. went Yeah That's A Comedically Striking Visual#about having a hole punched right through the abdomen & w/like jellybean filling lol. again only today did i see Oh that was a ref then#due to seeing a death becomes her visual due to the musical lol. In Retrospect going oh okay now yeah haha Just Like Cosmo. but like#it doesn't matter lol you didn't have to go ''just like a whole different thing i've already seen'' it was already fun/ny / effective#like yeah when taking in a Background Design i noticed ''ah that's The Shining carpet'' like does not matter. wilhelm scream floor#kinda fun sure but it's like unimportant lol. or i'm certainly not like oh shit oh fuck the thee shining movie carpet inspired carpet yayyy#but i also don't like or respect that movie. i've never seen death becomes her but i probably like or respect it more already#anyway what Did prompt this post was just indeed [can you Believe tv y7 media did recognizable horror character / moment. Amazing] reports#like yeah i can believe it. i wish there was any other appeal there? & how is it amazing or that Bold. you can just do that.#maybe it Is fun if you do but not b/c the fun is strictly that of Recognition As From Something Else You Have Seen like help#it also doesn't help like Crickets re: me liking or respecting much of the Ah True Adult Horror i've seen / know of in any depth#but i also don't enjoy [do you Get It?] references to things in whatever other genres due to Getting It. or things i Do like / respect#just also an extra disappointment like interesting when horror is made For Kids b/c there's an extra relevance to it#[status: kid] being graced with an inherent horror. & you can't like default to ''would [gore] be fucked up or what'' like Sigh; Yes#so when it's like ''ooh reporting this development in horror made for younger audiences: [do you recognize adult horror]'' like cmon#obviously will probably pair with anything at all fileable as horror sequence but like. i don't need Any focus on Reference Time then#like was actually interesting to go back & read a goosebumps book i'd never read the other year re: gtm:pota purposes#did i find it Scary to me; the adult reader? no not really. neither did rereading books i found more intense at like age 9 & all#but that doesn't mean i go ''well i was just Wrong at the time; then'' or like i needed to or did expect the same effect now#i mean i also experience whatever Horror For Adults & at most i can expect [wheee aaaa] moments & the occasional More unsettling ones#but those latter ones are more an invocation/implication of something that's indeed disturbingly unsettling#which don't tend to involve any like Immediately Recognizable Static Visual so much. well anyway
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I really hate feeling irrational and upset over food. One of the worst things to be upset about. It feels SO fucking stupid.
#txt#texas roadhouse fucked up my food apparently so I get fries and bread. and it's my fault bc i wasn't there to order it myself#(she didn't really word it that way but that's how it felt. like she was saying it's my fault. but im on new meds so i was literally asleep#+the entire time they would've been eating pretty much; i cant control when the side effects decide they want to kick in?)#anyway it's not exclusively this that I'm upset about anyway. like at least i still get a little somethin else yk?#but the other day my roommate came back with his fucking boyfriend from olive garden (genuinely one of my favorite places ngl) and they're+#+like ''oh we didn't know what to get you so we just got you breadsticks'' like. what the fuck. i mean i do like breadsticks but are you +#+fucking with me right now? if money is a problem just say you couldn't afford anything extra. Don't fucking pull that shit#we literally live in the era of smart phones. you can fucking text me. and one of the things i really fucking enjoy at olive garden? +#+LITERALLY JUST THE FUCKING SALAD. THE HOUSE SALAD. THAT THEY GIVE YOU. I am that easy to appease and you bring me. bread.#i love bread. but do you think this is all i subsist on??? it's genuinely so insulting and hurtful and I feel so fucking stupid for feeling#+that way#LITERALLY as i was typing this my sister text me again to be like ''sorry that came off wrong'' this does lick the wound#update we are now sitting here going back and forth trying to figure out how they even got it wrong to begin with 😭 im gonna be real with+#+you I'd bet actual money it was on purpose so they could push the order out quicker. bc what i wanted was their tatter skins and those +#+take more effort and time I'd wager. she said they were busy so I wouldn't be surprised
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#so much happened this year for me it's kinda crazy. but#i feel like i was in a constant state of recovery y'know#like. 2020-22 were rough and so much happened that i needed to emotionally recover from#but at the same time so much changed for me in such a short amount of time this year#i think it's important to be aware of that y'know.#it wasn't all bad or anything#it was just. a Lot. but there are nice little moments i'm sure i'll reflect on later. even if they were “little” they were important#this yearr i made a lot more art than i ever have! even if i didn't share half of it. but that's really nice. i got comfy driving#i go to the gym now and actually enjoy it so that's nice.#got prescribed adhd meds! hopefully they're in stock soon dsdkjfg. went to college in person! we're. still workin on that one#but it's okay. i'm reading books again! that's been refreshing.#i've tried a lot of things and it's been really nice#i wanna try candle making. and there's this pottery place down town that looks cool. i'd also like 2 make a friend! that'd#be nice sdfhg. i'm trying to put myself out there a bit but. we will just do our own thing and keep trying anyways. even if it's a lil hard#i wanna take those automotive classes sometime this year. see how i like that. working on cars has always sounded cool to me y'know#i want to keep making art and going to the gym. learn how to cook some more meals#keep finding the time to stop and appreciate things. and exist within and outside everything sometimes. that's important i think#sap says#anyways. let's keep going
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Weed thought: realized that I have a weird habit of judging myself by meta-judging the media I'm in taking that is. Mental illness.
#oh my god its an intrusive thought....#b#this is really fucking funny#the reason I've been so scared to intake new media wasnt only just choice paralysis it was like#i was bullying myself for taking joy in like anything like anything i remotely liked#i feel like i just freed myself????#i know this sounds stupid but this is kinda huge I haven't really watched a new release in like#six years I think#because I was weirdly scared of new media which wasn't like me#I used to do a lot of movie reviews and I fucking love doing them still and watching#but I could never bring myself to watch new stuff cause of not only the fear of like#being let down by something#but the fear that I'd be outcasted for enjoying the thing#well glad I figured that one out ig
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