#but I could never bring myself to watch new stuff cause of not only the fear of like

[dixiedingo]

Weed thought: realized that I have a weird habit of judging myself by meta-judging the media I'm in taking that is. Mental illness.

[minswriting]

Min!! Congrats on 900 followers! I love your work so so much, you inspire my work, you are so incredible and talented - I love you i love you i love youuuuu!!!

I have come with a dirty request. I would like season 3ish Spencer, being taught by reader how he should touch her since he’s not that experienced and then Spencer flusteredly being like ‘could you show me how you touched me last time so I can remember how to do it myself’ AAAA just like something about TEACHING that SOB that knows everything itches something deep and horny in my brain. Xoxo 🧸

AHHHH THIS IS SUCH A LATE RESPONSE IM SO SORRRYYYY however i love this request so of course i will write it. my apologies for being so slow with stuff lately guys. life be getting in the way 😔😔

nsfw | mdni | spencer reid x reader | fingering (f), squirting

your relationship with spencer was still relatively new. you guys had been dating for about a month or so and have only done a few sexual things to one another. he had watched you get yourself off before, taking in the movements of your fingers at the different parts of your cunt. and he desperately wanted to make you feel good too.

so, one night, after spencer had gotten home from a case, the two of you were sat on his couch, watching some old movie. and he just looks at you randomly and goes “can you teach me how to please you like you do yourself?”

it caught you off guard for a moment. you didn’t comprehend his words right away but the moment you did, you couldn’t help but smile. “is that what’s been on your pretty mind tonight?” you asked, looking at your boyfriend.

spencer simply pressed his lips together in an awkward smile, nodding his head. “uh…yes?” he said, sounding unsure.

“of course i can teach you,” you exclaimed.

which led to the two of you on the couch as you sat in between spencer’s legs, back to his chest, with your pants and panties off. your legs were spread and you held spencer’s hand in yours. “firstly, you take your finger and you spread the wetness around.” you said softly, bringing his hand down to your pussy and guiding his pointer finger up and down your slit, spreading the wetness around. “it’s not a necessity but it helps just lubricate everything.”

“you’re so wet,” spencer whispered in awe as he gently moved his finger up and down you slit.

you let out a breathy laugh, nodding your head. “for you? always.” you replied. you then guided two of his fingers to your clit. “this, this is the-“

“the clitoris, a sensitive area located on top of the vulva. it’s a primary sensory organ of female sexual response,” spencer interrupted, going into factual mode for just a moment. without thinking about it, he began rubbing your clit gently.

you let out a soft moan, your eyes fluttering shut. it never failed to turn you on when spencer spewed random facts. it also very much helped that he was a quick learner because your brain always went to mush when your pussy was being played with. “y-you just keep doing that for a little while,” you stuttered, holding onto spencer’s arm as he rubbed your clit.

spencer didn’t say anything in response as he just looked at you from over your shoulder. tentatively, he leaned his head to your shoulder blade, kissing your skin gently. the action sent shivers down your spine as he began kissing towards your neck.

after a few minutes, you had decided that you needed to be filled, grabbing spencer’s hand and stopping his movements. “now, you’re going to insert a finger,” you brought his fingers to your hole, grabbing his middle finger. “this one,” you exclaimed. “you’re going to insert that finger inside,” you whispered.

“like this?” spencer asked as his digit slowly entered inside of you. your walls fluttered at the intrusion, clenching around his finger. “you’re so tight.”

“mhm,” you said before swallowing. “and now you gently thrust it in and out, slowly at first before adding a second finger. and if you curve your finger,” spencer did just that, causing you to jolt and let out a moan. “that is the g-spot.” you whimpered.

“so if i do this,” he began thrusting his finger in and out of you gently, making sure to make a “come here” motion with his finger inside of you. “it’ll feel good?”

you moaned, nodding your head. “very good,” you replied.

spencer simply moved his finger in and out of you at a slow pace, making sure to graze your sweet spot each time. he couldn’t help but press himself against you, his cock so hard from touching you. after a few minutes, he added a second finger, moving his fingers at the same pace.

“f-faster, please,” you whimpered.

and spencer complied. he began moving his fingers faster, hitting your spongy spot each time. “like this?” he asked hotly into your ear.

“just like that,” you moaned, throwing your head back in pleasure. “oh my god.”

the room was filled with the sound of spencer’s fingers moving in and out of your pussy. the noise just getting wetter as his fingers began squelching. and without any warning, you squirted around his fingers, whining and moaning in his arms. “oh fuck,” you moaned out.

it didn’t take a genius to realize you had squirted for the first time. spencer smirked to himself, unable to help it. “that good, huh?” he asked a bit smugly as he continued finger fucking you so good.

you whined, nodding your head. “so good, spence, oh my god,” you replied. you could feel the heat tightening in your abdomen as your orgasm approached. “so close, so close.”

spencer let out a soft moan as he could feel his cock twitching in his pants from this whole scenario. he continued working his fingers inside of you, determined to make you cum.

and with a choked moan, you began cumming. you arched your back against spencer as your thighs clenched around his hand. you let out a high pitched moan, toes curling as you came. and spencer just watched it all as he fingered you through your orgasm.

without any warning, spencer shuttered as he came in his pants from the sight of you cumming on his fingers. “o-oh,” he moaned, ropes of cum painting his boxers and pants.

and when the both of you came down from your highs, spencer pulled out his fingers and the both of you breathed heavily, leaning back to relax. after a few minutes of silence, you spoke “i have never squirted before,” you said in disbelief.

spencer hummed, smiling goofily at you. “glad to be your first then.” he replied, kissing the back of your head.

“and i can’t believe you came in your pants.” you replied.

“oh shut up.” spencer exclaimed.

it was safe to say that fingering you quickly became spencer’s absolute favorite thing in the world.

[kallypsowrites]

I feel like I've seen so many TV cancellation announcements for stuff that I might've watched but now might not. And it really just emphasizes how much the current system is eating itself.

Binge culture means that people are expected to consume a show right as it drops. Because so many shows are binged now, even weekly shows are held to the same standard. If they don't perform well during the initial release, they are written off because binge numbers are the numbers that matter.

So you get more and more people who are afraid to get invested in shows because it might get canceled on a cliffhanger. Because of that, they don't tune in to watch something until they're sure its going to continue. So the next bingeable show gets less viewers. It gets canceled. More people join the 'I'm not going to watch yet because I'm afraid to get invested' crowd. Less people watch TV.

And it sucks because people like this are often the most ardent fans of a work--the ones who will write fanfiction and make fanart and write long analytical posts convincing people to watch a show. The people who will make a new show their whole personality because that's how hyperfixation works. I am amongst that crowd. I can't let myself get invested in something anymore unless I know that I'm going to get emotional payoff.

TV execs have been continuously breaking trust with fandom spaces for the past several years. They don't give shows a chance to find their legs, to grow an audience, to gain a cult following. They kill something in it's cradle in service to the numbers.

And it's not just the fans who suffer because of this. It's writer's rooms. I'm going to school right now for screenwriting and its BAD out there. So many writers who pour their heart and soul into a concept only to never get to bring it to fruition. There's no room for slow burns. For thoughtful storytelling. For trusting the audience. There's no room for real creativity. So the shows that do get renewed are often competent but uninspired or sequel/franchise content. Cause that's what gets views.

I cannot imagine how disheartening it is as a writer to start so many projects and never get to finish them. Think about your own writing. If you were working on a fanfiction but knew at any moment someone could stop you updating because you aren't getting enough hits/kudos, would you find joy in that anymore? I sure wouldn't.

I believe that a lot of the best storytelling is going to come out of indie spaces in the next few years--writers and artists moving outside of Hollywood and making their own low budget stories. Because it's almost impossible to thrive within the current system.

It's not the writer's fault. It's not the fan's fault. It's the way TV has become. And its going to crash and burn and I'm sure execs will find a way to blame anything but the system they created.

[forthelostones]

𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ➺ 𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲 #2

anderson construction and landscaping had been parked outside your door since you returned home from university. as if the summer couldn't get any hotter, the business owner works overtime in your area. anderson is collecting new, loyal clients of your neighbors, cementing her permanence in your life for the next few months. what's to come of your girlish crush when she keeps showing up?

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜. 18+ (mdni); age-gap, young!reader, older!abby, butch!abby, slow-burn, suggestive language, thoughts of infidelity, ellie ft, smoking/drinking, mentions of parents, nickname: sweetheart, and modern au.

𝚊𝚗. everyone wow thank you so much for the love on for your eyes only! it means so much. here’s something a little different, hope you enjoy. any requests don’t hesitate to drop ‘em, xx jstar.

♫ 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝. distraction by kehlani ♫

palestinians still need e-sims!!! click the link to figure out how you can donate.

The overly generous housewife commissioned me another large project, to which I simply could not decline. Summertime is when business is the best and she just became my second client in this particular neighborhood. It was a carbon copy of the nearby cities split by four-way stops and freeways. The demands were never unique or fresh, causing me a great deal of creative fatigue when I had to order identical materials from my supplier. I pressed the half-empty bottle of frosty Sam Adams against my neck, soothing the battering I received from the sun this afternoon. There was a cacophony of Casio watch alarms indicating that lunch was over. All my workers were so ecstatic to finish up today’s task and celebrated with loud audible sighs.

“Men can be such pigs,” I whispered, consolidating their empty glasses sticky with sugar. 

“Men and children,” She adds, catching me off guard. 

I smile over to her blankly, having very little experience with either. 

“Yes, my little one over there used to be a slobbering mess.” 

I glance over my shoulder to see her daughter sucking on a lemon wedge. Her dark pink lips are tacky with citrus and teeth white against the sunny flesh shedding onto her mouth’s crevasses. I trace the thin maroon-shaded line on the outside of her lips. I find my tongue gliding over my own, thinking of how the lemon would taste between us both. Her eyes jut open once she realizes I am looking at her, eyelashes feathery and light under the sun. Then she just stares at the ground, scraping the sole of her worn Converse against the driveway pavement, attempting to conceal her smile. 

“Have any?” She asks. 

“Any kids? Ah, no. I don’t.” 

She invites me into her home with my hands full of expensive glassware. She screams out to her daughter to bring in the remaining to which she obliges silently, the wedge now dry between her teeth. I wait before walking through the mysterious door and let her guide me — once again with no words. I watched her hips wobble, compressed in spandex, as she walked in front of me. Blinking myself out of the curve of her behind, I stepped up the concrete steps into the kitchen area. Once the daughter placed the glasses on the granite island, she discarded her lemon by spitting it directly into the bin, before lifting the cups out of my hands. 

“Thank you, sweetheart.” I hummed naturally. 

“So we’re good for a consultation tomorrow Abigail?” 

I stalked the daughter's movements as she traveled to the dishwasher on the other side of the kitchen. She hunched over to load the dishwasher, ass drawing me back in as she bent down into a squat to adjust something on the rack. 

“Abigail?” Her mother probed. 

“Yes, ma’am, sorry I was just going through my schedule in my mind.” I laughed nervously. 

“Don’t you have an assistant for all that stuff?” 

“No ma’am, not yet. But we’re good for a consultation at 7:00 am?” 

“Yes, my husband will be here and it’ll be a nice affair. Darling, why don’t you give Abigail all of our numbers. It will be necessary once she starts coming by regularly to fix your bathroom and the deck.” 

Her daughter bounced on her heels and closed the washer, turning to me, worrying her lip in her mouth. She looked between her mother and me, confused at the declaration of plans.

“I didn’t know… uh… renovations to my bathroom, okay.” She said.

“You’ve been complaining about it, so we’re getting it fixed, see Abigail out.” 

She wipes her hands on her shorts and leaves wet smears on the material, the handprints incasing her plump thighs. The girl guides me back to the entrance we came in, her mother wishing me farewell as I step out of the kitchen and back into the garage. I turn to her, still perched on the top of the concrete step, her breasts now eye-level. They glimmer like diamonds just before I tilt my head back and meet her reticent eyes. She holds out her hand, palm upward, demanding something. 

“Phone?” She says. 

“Oh right, uh I think I left it in the truck,” I say patting my pockets. “Why don’t you just take mine down?” 

She removes her phone from her waistband and opens the contact page allowing me to type in my information. I look up at her and she nods at my name on the screen. I huff and start strutting out of the wide garage door. Just as my boot touches the line between the shaded concrete of the garage and driveway, I hear her sweet voice shimmer. “See ya, Ms. Anderson.” 

“Bye.” I wave as the heat from outside embraces me and a collection of warmth bottles inside of me from hearing my name so velvety on her lips. 

꒰ঌ ໒꒱

My neck and forehead were drenched as I rolled over to throw my legs over the couch. The tightness in my lower back that could only be saved by major corrective massaging was throbbing violently. My body stiffened from using this old couch as my bed again, the third time this week. My actual bedroom was a few steps away from the front door but I never make it there. Under my left leg was another thriller book whose name is now obsolete and could explain why I was sweaty and anxious throughout the night. I thumbed the pages and set them on the massive pile of manila folders that accumulated on the coffee table. I put my finger under my glasses and rubbed my eyes clear. What a mess my house has become. The sun wasn’t even up yet and I question why I still do any of this. This a question I ask myself every day actually. I touch the screen of my phone that I forgot to put on charge last night, again, and see all the notifications accumulated after 7:00 pm. 

Payments due, meetings, consultations, etc., are all semi-organized in a calendar system I have yet to perfect.

11:00 PM: See you in the morning, Ms. Anderson :) 

I felt my mouth open slightly. I was pathetic, smiling at a simple text. How long had it been since a notification on my phone was from a woman? I opened the message to type but it’s far too late to reply… right? I liked the message, saved her number as the address, and placed my phone down on the counter. I picked up my tube of toothpaste and noticed how thin it became. I will need to run to the store after work today, another thing to add to the list of shit I didn’t want to do. I used all my might to pop out the last bulb of paste. 

Today was supposed to be an easy day, do the consultation, and oversee the the porch while I put up ads for an assistant I desperately needed. After slicking my hair I walked back into the living room where piles of paperwork overwhelmed the space. I needed an assistant and quickly if I was going to continue to expand my business. 

Two cups of black coffee today as I discovered my creamer was congealed and rotten beyond belief. Another thing I need to do is go grocery shopping. I searched for my keys under the folders stacked on my coffee table. It was already 6:30 a.m. and by my standards, I was running late. Once every piece of paper was misplaced and out of order, I recalled my keys' presence on the loop of my cargos. I pressed my head against my seat and let out a sigh before turning on my truck and an audiobook, A Certain Hunger. Another fucking day. 

My truck hummed as I parked on the street in front of the plain light blue house. I winced at my final sip of bitter caffeine while pulling the keys out of the ignition and attaching them to my belt loop. I dig in my back seat for my work bag and drag it with me to the front door. After I knocked, a man of my height opened the door to welcome me in. 

“Abigail,” He said unamused by my presence. 

“Good morning,” I replied. 

“So, this deck came with the house and it’s very outdated and my wife would like to…” 

His voice faded into a tornado of my own thoughts. It was usually the same customers, who had a ten-year-old porch or deck, wanted it to look modern and have the money to waste on it. I shouldn’t complain because I'm willing to take what they’re willing to cough up. 

“Let me show you the bathroom we want to redo.” 

I followed him up the hardwood steps that opened into a mezzanine that split into three directions. One I assumed was a bathroom, a master suite, and a baby pink painted door with a crown-shaped sign that said: ‘The Princess’ Room'. I found myself cracking a smile. He knocked on the door before entering, to which his restless daughter opened her eyes and pulled the duvet over her chest.

“Dad.” She groaned, catching a glimpse of me just before retreating completely under the blanket. 

The view I caught of her face was soft and her lips were perfectly swollen to take into my mouth. I clear my throat and push the thought down just before nearly tripping over one of the many boxes cascading around the room. The bathroom was bright with shades of pink I had never seen before. 

“We just want something black, gold, something mature for the college grad.” He tried to smile but shrugged as if his wife told him to say those exact words. 

“Great, I can draft something up and give you a quote.” 

“Nice, I do have to run, my rude daughter will see you out.” 

His hand briefly gripped my shoulder as he walked past me. I looked over to the bed and placed my thumbs into my belt loops as she peeked from the covers. Her bare shoulders indicated that she was in no position to walk me out. I followed the deep line of her collarbone and blinked heavily. I swallowed as my cheeks became flushed and marched out of the room before finding my way back into my truck in a blur. I placed my hand on my chest and imagined my skin was hers. How it would feel under my hands after a long day and possibly how she would feel on mine too. There was a deeper ache in me that needed to be satisfied. The safety of knowing my body belonged to someone else would soothe my mind. I would finally get some release if— 

A knock on my window jolted me back into reality. She was standing on the other side of the glass with her hand above her eyebrows trying to shield herself from the early morning sun. Her body is now covered in an all-white cotton sleepwear set that was hastily thrown on. I linger on the movement of her breasts and the outline of her hips as her hand gently catapults the most delicate parts of her body into a wave. The fabric held no regard for a woman’s eye like mine. The silhouette of her dark nipples and sloping v-line at the waistband of her flowing shorts pulled at a string that hadn’t been yanked in a long time. I felt a thrum deep below my belt. I turn the key to roll the window and she smiles slightly, lips slathered in a pinkish gloss that caught my attention immediately. 

“Hi,” She mutters. 

“Morning.” I reply. 

“Um, sorry I wasn’t—”  

“You’re good. So, Princess?” 

I regretted saying it until her smile grew into a chuckling laughter that echoed down the silent street. I grinned with her as her skin glistened from the pure sunlight, uninterrupted of any lingering elements. 

“To be fair, we’ve lived in this house forever.” She adds. 

“Uh-huh, well, no worries all that pink will be gone.” I glance down to her mouth and she retracts her lips to make them vibrate with a pop. 

“In a way, I’ll miss it but it's time for something new.” 

Those words hung in my mind and the cadence in which said it, implying something more than just new tiles and a coat of white paint. 

“Right, have a nice day,” I say. 

“Oh and Abby,” She adds, leaning into the window with her perfect fingers on the windowsill. “Can you tell me when you’re coming so I can at least be dressed?” 

Before I could get a word in she was already heading back through the front door of her house. 

꒰ঌ ໒꒱

I sat on the sidewalk with my laptop and lawn chair, writing out a description for an assistant. I had been so used to doing everything on my own when I started but now I need to switch my methods before I can’t do it anymore. The team was getting along well with the porch and we were almost done, one week in advance, but I can’t count too much on their loud mouths to stay on task. It felt nice to sit in the sun and give my body a rest, I needed more of this. But now I was just staring at the cursor on the screen wondering what I needed an assistant to do.

As a woman who owns her own company…

(DELETE) 

I am looking for someone who is …

(DELETE) 

In need of an Administrative Assistant who can help with my everyday business needs. This includes filing records, sending invoices to clients, being the main contact for clients, and other tasks as assigned. If you are applying, provide a resume listing previous experience relevant to this job. Set hours of 30 per week may include, working in an office, on the job site, and traveling with me. Pay starts at $19.00 per hour. Please send your interest to andersonco@gmail.com. Thank you. 

I triple-checked my grammar to ensure there were no errors and posted it to all the job-hiring websites I could think of. I exhaled knowing the mess of my life would soon become organized with the assistance of someone more qualified than me to sort it out. I close my warm laptop walk around to the driver's seat and place it into my bag. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice someone watching me from the sidewalk. 

As I lift my gaze I notice my stalker. She walks over to me, fully dressed in bright yellow athleisure and a smile. “I realized something.” She says, hands on the fat of her hips. I pause as I notice the contrast of the sunflower yellow against her skin. If I didn't know, I would mistaken her for the sun.

“And that is?” 

“You told my dad you were going to mock-up something but never got what I wanted it to be. Doesn’t there have to be a meeting of some sort so you know what style I like?” 

“I thought your style was black and gold?” 

She stood just a foot away from me and I cast her body in my shadow, relieving her from the sun. I hovered over her but if she only knew how yielding I felt around her this persona would vanish.

“It is but I want to have some say in the creative process.” She tilts her head, milking me for every ounce of consideration.

“Of course. So, a design meeting?” 

I cross my arms and not in a subtle way. It wasn’t an intentional distraction, just a habit. 

“Yes.” She said, holding her eye contact with me. 

“Fine. Cool,” I say and she chuckles. 

A woman my age shouldn’t be saying cool. 

“How does this work then?” 

I open the door and bend over the seat to grab my notebook with pages crumbled and falling out. 

“We schedule a meeting, I doodle a bit, and we come to an agreement. Will cost you extra though, most clients just trust my first design.” I shrug. 

“Oh,” 

“Is that okay with you?” 

“Of course. How does tomorrow sound?” 

“Oh coo— great. Tomorrow at … 3 pm?” I said, avoiding her gaze that has yet to leave my body. 

“I can do that.” 

“You can stop by my office tomorrow then, I will send you the address.” 

[apostaterevolutionary]

Collecting some thoughts on veilguard cause tbh I really don’t know how to feel lmao so. Unstructured ramble time

I’ve watched the trailer and the demo and I feel very. Idk? Still ‘wait and see’ mode for me. It’s been 10 years. Inquisition imo was the weakest of the 3. And while I have kind of moved on from DA there is a part of me that wants this to just blow everything out of the water and be amazing. I’m just not sure if that’s what I think will happen. Right now, I just think it doesn’t feel dragon age-y enough (in terms of what I, personally, consider the defining traits of the series) but I don’t want to jump to conclusions with so little information

The trailer was. Fine. Vibes were a little off but given its Varric narrating, it makes sense (also. Unpopular opinion lmao. I love Varric but I don’t think he should be a companion again. If there’s a carry over companion, it should have been Dorian. And tbh he could still be there, considering they said 7 companions but Varric is not included in that. So did they mean 7 *new* companions and maybe a few others? Advisors again maybe? Idk. Maybe Varric is a temporary companion, but I don’t think he should be there except maybe as a cameo. Scout Harding is an unexpected but fine carry over though). I don’t really have an opinion yet on the companions themselves cause there’s just. Nothing to base an opinion on other than the character designs

Gameplay demo shows that they’re definitely going very Inquisition-y. As in, continuing further down the path it started. Which isn’t unexpected, but is a bit disappointing, though not necessarily a dealbreaker as of yet. It’s probably smart tbh to go more in an action rpg direction than back to the crpg roots given it’s going to be compared to bg3 no matter what they do - better to differentiate as much as possible. Though I don’t think that’s why they did it, probably more a happy accident. I just. Idk, I found inquisitions combat a bit boring and I haven’t been impressed by what I’ve seen yet. But a 20 minute demo is probably not enough to really form an opinion

I feel like you can still see the echoes of this being a live service game at one point too. Healing potions coming from pots found in the environment (I never got over healing spells being cut btw lmao, bring back spirit healers already), the “ability wheel” (unsure about that too, given it sounds like we can’t control companion characters anymore? Kinda really don’t like that :/), stuff like that. I still feel like DA2 combat was the perfect balance between fluidity and strategy but it is what it is. It performed badly, so they’ve disregarded it wholesale rather than consider that some aspects of it may still be worth exploring. It sucks, but that’s capitalism I guess

As for all the other little things, idk, I really am not sure what to think yet lmao. Some sound good. Some less good (why only 2 companions, I don’t like that at all - also weird that the demo shows you won’t have a tank for the initial bit of the game. That’s a weird choice). Nothing to make me go aaaaaa either positively or negatively yet. I don’t even know what to say. My feelings are just so complicated about it, but also kinda empty at the same time. Like. It’s a bit of kombucha girl meme but also muted? I would like to feel just. More about it. But I don’t yet. I’m too unsure. Not quite numb, but almost tbh

At this stage, I feel like I’m gonna wait till it comes out and see what happens. No pre-ordering until I get a better idea. It’s like. With origins, I’ve played it a lot. DA2, even more - countless times lmao. Inquisition though, I played 2.5 times immediately after release and have tried to play it multiple times since but. I only ever get 10-20 hours in before I get bored and can’t make myself continue. I’ve tried many, many times and idk why but I just can’t do it. I never even played any of the DLC, so like. I kinda need to do that first if I’m gonna play veilguard but I have never succeeded before so idk how I will now lmao. But I feel like at least trespasser is necessary and I have genuinely never played it. And I gotta play the rest of the game first to get there and I genuinely don’t know if I can sksksjs

And with that in mind like. If inquisition is that unappealing to me, a game that feels very inquisition-y, potentially leaning even more into the stuff I didn’t like about it, is. Definitely not what I was hoping for. It’s still possible it’s leagues better than inquisition and actually playing it will be a great experience. But right now I just don’t know. I probably won’t be able form any kind of opinion until it comes out and I start getting info from trusted folks that I know have good DA opinions lmao

Idk. I’m not trying to be a wet blanket or a hater, and I genuinely don’t think I am being a hater at all, but I am just. Very tired and nervous. But also cautiously hopeful. I’ve said ‘idk’ a lot lmao but I truly don’t know at this stage. I guess we’ll see. Let’s hope it’s actually amazing and the very thing we need to make the series as a whole feel like it used to for us lapsed DA fans

[blueskiesandwindchimes]

In the Darkness is the Light

I’m watching one of my favorite old Disney shows right now. It’s called So Weird. It had 3 seasons and was on Disney channel around the same time I was the main character Fi’s age. It still drives me nuts that Disney decided to completely change course for Season 3 and bomb the show to hell.

Season 2 ends with answers for Fi regarding her dad’s death in a very emotional way that also left us with new questions to be answered. Instead of continuing the story, Disney brings the storyline to a complete halt, by writing a new storyline that changes out the character of Fi with a new girl, Annie.

Annie is very different from Fi. Where Fi is seriously curious about the paranormal, Annie doesn’t go looking for things the same way. The subject of Fi’s dad never really comes up again and the mystery is never solved.

All these years later, as far as I know, there is no REAL information out there about what the originally planned storyline was supposed to be after season 2. I for one would love to know how the show was supposed to go…

I always identified with Fi because I was into ghost stories as well. I used to be the one in the family renting horror movies. There was definitely some concern, because I was basically a tween when I started getting into them, but no one ever really said anything to me about it. When So Weird came out it was like, awesome! There must be enough call for this that I’m not the only girl interested in this stuff.

I’ve had my share of experiences, mostly in the form of lucid dreams where I can’t move and am being attacked by an invisible force. When I say I couldn’t move, I could move, but it was really hard. The best thing I can compare it to is the hard to move feeling when riding the Gravitron at a carnival.

I watched a whole documentary a few years ago about the “hat man”. My experiences were similar except for like I said, the attacking entity being invisible. I know for me, I figured out that these dreams were being caused by me not going into a deep enough level of sleep before I started to dream and that this was being caused by me drinking caffeine too close to bedtime.

On the other hand though, I will say that the last time I had the dream, I was able to slowly force myself in the dream to a standing position in the bed, take a crucifix off the wall that was not there in real life, hold it out at arms length and scream at the invisible that I demanded in the name of Jesus Christ for it to leave. I woke up from that and never dreamed it again. That was roughly 15 years ago.

By the way, these dreams would happen about once every 2 months and went on for about a 2 year period. That entire time, I was in my early 20’s, and living with my grandma trying to figure out my life. The room that I slept in had a history of being haunted according to my uncles, but only that room and they never knew why. One uncle apparently used to be so scared in that room at night that he’d pee the bed rather than get up and go to the bathroom. That’s what I was told. My older female cousin who stayed in that room before me (she’d lived with my grandma through high school), said she always felt like something was watching her in that room as well.

So I guess what I’m saying is it’s certainly possible there was actually something there and that I was only truly vulnerable to it when something prevented me from going into a deep enough level of sleep. My grandparents are both gone now, and my mom bought out her siblings shared of the house, updated the whole thing because it looked like it was still in the 70s, and now is the one living there with my stepdad, my man-child brother, and his French wife who barely speaks English. 🤷‍♀️

[ladylooch]

Kev & baby Luca with matching pool shorts

“Babe!” Kevin yells into the house. He has Luca with him. Our son is babbling in his car seat, sucking on his hand. 

“Yeah?” I ask, poking my head out of the powder room. I’m finishing cleaning, then we are having a family pool day. The heat in the Midwest has reached ridiculous heights. Don’t even get us started on the humidity. The only way to stop me from going crazy is to be in our new, in-ground pool.

“Look at what I got!” 

“Hold on.” Kevin sighs with a huff. I’m obviously ruining his buzz of excitement. I wash my hands quickly, then come out patting them on my shorts to dry faster. He is holding a black bag in his hands, one hand disappearing into it. “Ready.” I gesture with a smile.

“Your boys… are gonna look so good in our new pool.” I bite my lip. Kevin whips out two pairs of swim trunks. Luca sees them and immediately squeals in excitement. 

“Rubber duckies!!!!!” I start laughing, coming closer to look at them.“He saw them at Target and was so excited. So we gonna match.” I grab Luca’s holding them up to admire.

“This is so cute, babe.” I murmur, then lean up for a kiss. “You’re so sweet.”

“Yeah. Thought you could wear your yellow bikini.” 

“Oh so we all match?”

“Yeah… and cause I like the way it kinda doesn’t fit quite right here.” He cups a boob. “Lil’ family time and a show, no?”

“You’re so desperate for a feel these days.” I joke. “I’m ready to go if you are.” 

“Yeah, I’ll get Luca ready.” Kevin takes him out of his car seat, then hoots and hollers all the way upstairs to his room. After hockey, swimming is Kevin’s favorite activity. I can never get him out of the pool when we are on vacation. I am hoping with having one at home it gives us more time to do other things now.

I meet the boys at the pool with a white cover up over my yellow bikini. Kevin frowns, gesturing to the back yard. 

“Take it off. It’s just us.” He knows I’m still a little self conscious about what pregnancy left on my body. I toss the cover up onto the chair and he whistles. “You’re so hot.” He groans. A blush dusts my cheeks as he cat calls me the entire walk to the stairs. “Making my rubber duckies stretch in here, baby.” I hide my face with my hand briefly, smiling behind it. “Squeak squeak!”

“Oh my god.” I giggle. He wades over to me with Luca. Along with the twining shorts, our son is wearing his blue sun shirt, bucket hat, and his life jacket. 

“Seriously. Wanna get you saddled up here.”

“Ah!” Luca yells, stopping my response. Then a high pitched squeal when Kevin brings his dripping fingers over to hit his bucket hat. 

“Are you having the best day? Went to work with daddy, got to go shopping, and now in the pool! You are going to take such a long nap.” I murmur, adjusting his bucket hat lid to flip up so he can see better. “Give mama and daddy plenty of time in here alone.” My gaze drags up Kevin’s chest, beyond his thick throat and plumped lips to his eyes. I can see his craving there. I suck my cheeks in, wading closer. He pulls me flush to him. He was not kidding about stretching rubber duckies.

Kevin and I work with Luca, helping him float on his back. At first he resists, then he likes the gentle rocking of the water. Kevin brought a few of Luca's water toys out too. Luca holds a purple octopus in his hand, squeezing it and watching as the pool water shoots out onto Kevin’s chest. He giggles, doing it again and again and again until he is beside himself, choking from laughter. 

“Our silly boy.” Kevin murmurs, bringing him back up from floating to rest against his chest. Luca settles in, long blinks starting. A yawn stretches his little mouth, then he rubs at his eyes with his fist. “Sleepy boy too.”

We leave the pool, going to the side where our chaise loungers are and a big umbrella to shield the patio with shade. Kevin gets Luca out of his wet clothes, then changes his diaper. He puts his swim stuff out in the sun to dry as I wrap myself up in a towel. Kevin replaces Luca on his chest, then drapes a towel over the two of them. Luca is out instantly as Kevin rubs his back gently. He looks so adorable with his smooched cheek and lopsided mouth.

Kevin reaches for my hand. I lace our fingers together, then kiss along his knuckles, thanking the universe for the sweetest boys being mine.

[atranioum]

Sex Education Season 4 (an attempt to cope after witnessing the horror they call season 4)

this is a rant with full on spoilers so you've been warned.

back in 2019 when i first found out about sex education, i thought it was just your usual typical cringe-fest teenage drama with who the fuck cares love story. knowing that asa butterfield is the main lead it's kinda a given what kind of character he's gonna play (no hate to asa i love him and i think he showed a lot of range in this series but it's kinda obvious) and then finding out about maeve's character, i remember rolling my eyes and thinking welp if it isn't your usual rebel and nerd pairing and then proceed to not give two fucks about this show. but then there's this one time when i just needed something to watch and after season 2 dropped, videos of maeve and otis kept popping up on my youtube recommendation, so finally i decided to give it a shot, and just in one episode they proved me wrong big time.

sex education is honestly a series none like any other, even until today i don't think i've watched any series that's even remotely close to sex education, in terms of what they bring and the way they presented it (season 1 to be precise aka goat season), it's very vibrant, it's somewhat stereotypical and yet it defies it too at the same time (idk how else to describe this), it's like you expect certain things about a certain character and it turns out they're completely the opposite, and overall the show just has a very unique tone. the scores, soundtracks and cinematic shots paired with powerful and impactful moments, and just the overall composition is the recipe that they served us with, and my god do we love it, and we craved for more, so they did just that, they served us the same recipe for 3 seasons straight (well 2.5 but i'll let it slide).

and then season 4 slithered its way into our lives🤗

can someone please get me a paper bag cause i'm gonna throw up.

man where to begin? to even call this season a dissapoinment is still a huge understatement, i guess i should've known what's coming when i feel zero excitement watching the trailer, but then i convinced myself like come on it's sex ed it's for sure gonna be great, and yep it's so great that i wish i could unwatch whatever travesty i just witnessed.

watching the first episode i can still feel some familiarity in it and it's still kinda sex education-esque but i didn't love it, a great contrast towards my reaction after watching the first episode of season 3 in which to this day still is one of my favorite episodes of the series. it has a little bit of everything, a refreshing ruby and otis dynamic, the good old longing looks between maeve and otis, and the very heart and core of the show which is otis giving advice helping out his peers and motis being a fucking great team and just the episode as a whole really.

but you know you can never judge something after only watching one episode, so i bite my tongue and just carry on watching. and after watching 2 episodes, something very apparent reveals itself, the pacing is fucked. like how am i supposed to feel anything when the show kept on throwing one thing after another, it feels like when you're eating something and you're still very much chewing but someone keep on feeding you stuff before you can digest or even swallow the food first.

and i think that's the overall theme of season 4, a whole lot of everything and nothing all at the same time, like i'm sorry how are you supposed to end a show after 4 seasons but shoves a bunch of new characters in the finale, how are you supposed to connect to said characters? however powerful the topic and message you're trying to bring it's hard to even care about these characters, because all we expect from a finale is a conclusion of a 4-season long story not an opening of a new chapter.

i rewatched some of my favorite episodes a few days before season 4 dropped, and now looking back at it i just feel like i don't appreciate it enough at that time, i mean the soundtracks are amazing especially season 3 and for a tv series their cinematography is kinda top notch. but then season 4 came out and we got the walmart version of it all.

and then a few hours after watching and hating the season i realized something, ben freaking taylor didn't direct any of the episodes in season 4, my god that explains a lot and idk i think that's kinda why the pacing is fucked? like i know he didn't direct every episode in the whole series but i always think of him as an executive director(?) if that's even a thing, i just feel like he kinda dictates the overall flow of the show. it's such a shame really, if he's involved in this season maybe things could've been different, but then again maybe even ben taylor wouldn't be able to salvage whatever shitshow the writers gave him. it's as if you're watching an avatar movie that's not directed by james cameron, it just feels... wrong.

the whole season just feels freaky to me, a lot of things felt too over the top and comical even. not to mention the storylines are super all over the place, take jackson for example, bro went from thinking about his feelings for cal and then having a cancer scare to getting rejected by his biological father, like what???

now i want to dive in to the characters a little, let's start with ruby and yes i do ship her with otis and somewhat wished for them to be endgame but we'll touch on that later. anyway ruby is not ruby this season and it feels exactly like when maeve wasn't herself in season 3 (which is mainly why i jumped ship). the whole "i was bullied when i was 10" shit is such a tryhard, if it's an attempt to make ruby more likeable and make her being a bully acceptable, dear beloved writers you failed, miserably. if i'm someone who hates ruby (which i'm not) this whole thing would make me hate her even more, like okay i get it you got bullied because you're a bed-wetter but then you became a bully yourself and did worse things to others? how is that suppose to be tolerable. like bro deal with it don't backtrack, she's a bully she did what she did, but that doesn't mean she can't change, doesn't mean she can't grow. and that was the whole point of her arc in season 3. the reason why she was one of the main attraction that season was because we get to see a different side of her, yes she's mean, demanding and particular about every single little thing that revolves around her, but hey turns out she can compromise, she turns soft when it comes to her family and at some point even otis, and don't even get me started on her fucking voice on that call the night she said she loves otis. i understand that they're trying to give her a back story explaining what made her the way she is but honestly the whole bed-wetter thing was a big big miss.

and what's with the whole speech thing at the end of episode 8, it's very un-ruby like, if they're trying to show her character's growth and depth then wtf there's so many other ways to do it without making her super out of character. for instance here's a few things i have in mind; and this one is my personal favorite, like she could have a real conversation with maeve about shit like idk letting otis go or maybe the other way around like maeve telling her about how otis is actually happy with ruby and whatnot (idk maybe something less cringey but still along those lines); or they could explore her friendship with adam, and they could lean on one another and talk about how they lost their first loves, and how a certain pair of best friends completely broke their hearts (because come on why would they show the glimpse and the potential of adam and ruby and not explore it at all fuck they fumbled so bad); or the most logical of all, her dad dying (sorry roland)(i still don't get why maeve's mom is the one that died), anyway her dad being sick was always a big part of her arc, so with him dying we could explore how she would handle and cope with the whole thing now that there's literally no escape, with otis being with maeve etc.; or idk have a fucking proper conversation with otis, have some closure, either it being "i can't be friends with you because my feelings haven't changed", or yes maybe we could be friends, the point is just have a proper closure ffs, don't go around helping him whenever he comes begging for your help, like honestly i refuse to believe the real ruby (the properly written ruby) would let otis string her along like that. yes i get it she's in love with him, has a soft spot for him, but she's still ruby fucking matthews, so really the whole season she was way out of character.

moving on to our boy otis (but still ruby related hehe).... Read the rest of the thread on Twitter.

[tenabrye]

Just fremdship/parental stuff. Like Roberto comforting Vash after a rough day or something

Fatherly Roberto is something I didn't know I needed to see.

(this contains no reader and is simply an adorable interaction between Vash and Roberto that is NOT a ship)

Vash watched as everyone talked and laughed around the fire, however, he couldn't bring himself to do the same. Their most recent obstacle left him feeling a never-ending sense of dread with his brother, and he feared each and every waking moment that his friends would be taken away in the blink of an eye. He distanced himself from them tonight, not that any paid much mind to it, or so he thought.

Roberto always had a watchful eye. A talent he honed over his years of being a reporter. He could tell something was amiss with Vash, and he knew it had something to do with their latest escape from potential death. He could see the way the blond kept himself seated away from the others, a characteristic most uncommon of him. The older man knew something was already strange with the kid, having seen the photograph Meryl found of him with an infant Rollo, however, he had seen how selfless and harmless Vash had been.

With a sigh, the older man slowly stood from his seat, much to the ignorance of Meryl and Wolfwood as they talked about something he figured youngsters could only understand. He then made his way around the fire and towards Vash, who perked up when hearing approaching footsteps. The blond smiled when he noticed who it was, even scooting over to offer Roberto a seat beside him. "Something wrong?" He asked.

"Not with me," Roberto answered.

"Is it Meryl, or maybe Wolf--"

"It's you," the older man said, cutting him off. Vash only blinked at him, soon frowning and averting his gaze to the ground. Roberto took a small swig from his flask before he glanced at the blond. "I can tell when something is off. Call it a reporter's intuition."

Vash chuckled lightly at that. "Well, maybe something is bothering me, but it's nothing to worry about."

"Keeping it to yourself is worse, y'know." Roberto looked down at the ground before he glanced over at Meryl and Wolfwood, the pair still talking with one another. Vash mimicked the man and found his attention on the pair, his lips curling into a soft smile at the sight. "Is it about us?"

"Yes," answered Vash. Roberto hummed in response. "Bad things happen to those around me. You saw what happened at Jeneora Rock. People got hurt, some died, because I was there."

"You think we'll die?" Roberto looked over at the kid beside him, watching as he gave a small nod of his head. "You ever wonder how this might be our choice? Us tagging along with you." Vash now turned, staring at the older man with a small frown on his face. "Besides, I can't call myself a reporter if I run in the face of danger. The people need their news."

Vash's lips curled back into a smile as he nodded to Roberto. "I guess you're right, but that won't stop me from worrying."

"Just don't keep it all inside," Roberto told him. He took another swig from his flask and sighed. "You're going to be stuck with us for a little while, so learn to share your burdens with others. That way you don't look mopey."

The blond chuckled and nodded once again at the man. "Did I look mopey to you?" He asked.

Roberto didn't make eye contact with Vash and continued watching Meryl and Wolfwood. "A little, but everyone has their days."

"Thank you for caring." The older man only closed his eyes as he, once again, drank from his flask. "I appreciate it." Roberto didn't outright admit it, but despite what he had found out so far about him, Vash was starting to grow on him. Maybe it was due to his age that caused him to act this way with those that were or looked younger than him, but he did care for the kid. Cared for them all.

[salad-006]

btw salad what's ur opinion on eddsworld legacy?

For the most part, i think legacy is Okay. It's not the Best, but its nice to see so many people come together to finish off the show. I can respect all the work these guys did, especially tomska.

If you came for my option on the season and thats it you can leave, because the rest of this is me going crazy mode

My only real problems lie with only 2-3 episodes, and it drives me Crazy because they're By Far the most popular, so they've caused the most problems. This one question ended up becoming a giantic essay SORRY im just passionate about ebbworld

Keep in mind these are Just my options, I'm not going to look down on you if you're the number one The End Fan. If you like it then Cool, you can continue to enjoy it. And i can continue to hate it over in my corner

I'm keeping this section on Fun Dead short, mostly because it's not really the worst offender

The "Obliviously stupid to progress the plot" trope is so bad here. They've seen zombies before how do they not recognize them now. I get them being oblivious to super obvious things is the joke ,but its just not funny

For a Zombie centric episode, there's barely any Fighting. I feel like big fight scenes are what people like most with these. But no we get a 30 second montage, one that's not even animated

They are such wusses in this episode id bully them if i was there i think

The End. Don't even get me started on The End. Legitimately i have never seen such a botched finale in my life. Fair warning this is about to get long and angry im sorry

Let me ask one question: how come in the Finale To Eddsworld Legacy, the season Dedicated to Edd Gould and his work, Edd Himself does not play a prominent role? I'm not even kidding, you could write Edd out completely and Nothing would change. Ive heard people say this was Tomska going out with a bang before leaving the show, but from what i know he also wanted eddsworld to be completely over at The End. If that's true he could have atleast let Edd shoot the harpoon or some shit, come on

This is such a disappointing finale overall. They don't do anything exciting. We just get to watch a little "do you remember this episode?" Montage, all the sudden everything gets crazy then oh! Episodes over goodbye forever.

An end fight might have been more exciting had it been set up properly. They gave us the bare minimum, which was having tords stupid little gang tag appear a few times then having two of his coworkers/soldiers appear a few times. That doesn't hint at a Tord being an evil meglomaniac who's got a giant fucking robot hidden under the house

FUTURE EDD CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AS WELL, AND HE WORKS GREAT BECAUSE HE SETS UP THE LORE IMMEDIATELY. Tords return gave us Nothing beyond "he is manipulating them!!" Instead we get the book dropped on us halfway through the LAST EPISODE OF THE SEASON without ever being given any sort of explanation. That's just it.

ALSO FUCK BRINGING TORD BACK AT ALL. the dude asked to be removed from the show and what did they do? Hinted at his return like 15 times then had him come back as this manipulative mastermind, whos got a bunch of science stuff and a russian accent. At the bare minimum you could have writtten him to atleast resemble something close to Tord. There's literally more evidence that points to him being a clone than there is him being the real Tord, and it WASN'T EVEN INTENTIONAL.

Took a character who had left with all his loose ends tied up, brought him back with completely new unexplained info, then ended the show with both the original and the new loose ends untied. I've read this was Tomska trying to write Tord out of the show for good, but he somehow managed to do the complete opposite by leaving him at a LITERAL cliffhanger. Now all the 12 year olds are @ ing eddsworld begging he comes back for a redemption episode.

I could scream forever about the end but ive already said too much SORRY. This is why im just rewritting it myself to make it good

One last thing: its somewhat heartbreaking to me how Legacy has totally overgrown the classic episodes. Of the top Ten most popular videos on the channel, Seven of them are legacy episodes, with Edds three episodes being at the very bottom of the list

I just don't like it. I dont like how legacy has become like the Face of what eddsworld is. Maybe it's just because Edds work has been one of the biggest inspirations in my life (if that wasn't obvious already) IDK it seems unfair

Tldr: i dont like what legacy has done to the series and the fandom, but it's okay for the most part. Fuck The End though

[distorted-illusions]

Hi, I don't know what it means to be ‘otherkin’ or ‘alterhuman’, or an “IRL” or “DA” really. I don't understand and I want help and to find people I can talk to and relate to what I'm going through. I have tried to do research on all of these, but I still don’t feel like I understand, and what I do understand doesn’t completely feel like me. So I was hoping if you saw this, you could read my experience and give me advice.

I have maybe like four ‘others’. Others being ways I view myself, or find myself viewing/identifying as. 

I just feel so disconnected from the real world. I really struggle to feel real. Sometimes that means dulled to no emotions. And then because I don’t feel real, I'm impulsive cause I don't think of the consequences of my actions.

I sometimes confuse dreams with reality. It is a problem I have a lot. Dreams of my mother abusing me which didn’t actually happen, but affect my feelings towards her in the real world and cause me distress.. Sometimes I dream of a regular day in life, with maybe a few signs it’s a dream, but I think it’s real, and then have to be devastated when I figure out it’s a dream or wake up. Sometimes I get stuck in a loop of me trying to will myself to wake up from a  dream, and it will seem like I’ve succeeded, only for me to wake up again and again to it still being a dream.

I just feel really disconnected from life. All the time I'll just suddenly "pop" or blink and be like "oh wait yeah this is real... Do I feel real? How do I feel right now? Is this how a normal person feels? It feels so weird."

I almost 100% think I used to experience a lot more dissociation, derealization, and depersonalization, clearly from like a year ago when I was in public school, but now it feels less. Like I certainly feel disconnected, but I have had way worse. And maybe I’ve gotten more used to it that it just became a new normal. 

I'd say the best way to put it, is that I feel like I have past lives. I feel like I've been abused and tortured and all this stuff has happened to me, but that's not real life and that didn't happen. Do I have perfect memories of these past lives or whatever, no. My dad just says I'm extremely empathetic to people who have experienced things, but if thats so, then why does it feel like it hurts me so much.

For all my “episodes” of feeling like an “other” I feel inhuman, unreal, and out of place in the world. I feel I struggle to be human. I struggle to be the girl I’m supposed to be, because suddenly I’m not her, and I don’t know her, I don’t know what she would do.  I have her memories but they don’t feel like mine.  I feel like a ghost watching. I'm an NPC that's not been programmed. I'm here and awake when I'm not supposed to be.

My main/recurring ‘others’

- 1. The angel. My episodes include me feeling/believing that I am some fallen imprisoned angel that was given a job to become host of this body. I sometimes feel like I'm supposed to have wings, but that part isn't always constant. I feel like I’m supposed to ‘carry the burdens’ of the original host’s life. 

- 2. The doll. Similar to the angel, I am a doll that was chosen to become host of the body. I am a doll who is supposed to follow orders and bring joy. This one used to be much more prominent as I was a child.

- 3. The creature. This one is sort of a general descriptor for feeling inhumane. My head feels off a lot, like I'm supposed to have like anime girl cat ears, but there are none and so I feel off. I feel off in the family and more like an object or pet. Mainly object.

- 4. Weirdest one, please don’t laugh or call me cringe, but C!Tommy. It's not like the others where I feel like I've been given the mission to be host and protect. It's like I feel like I am c!Tommy sometimes. Like I can remember parts of exile and being hurt and tortured. Like my life as me was never real and that I am c!Tommy and was him in another life. I know I'm not him, but I also feel like I am. When I feel like I am c!Tommy, I like he/him pronouns. Which usually for me I feel more nonbinary-woman aligned. I know I’m not a boy/man, but part of me feels like I am. It’s like there are two me’s, one that is the actual me(host?) and one that believes she is c!Tommy (The delusion)

And I think one of the worst parts of all of these, is feeling like I have or that I have a strong connection to being abused. And like I just can't remember it. Remember all the details. But reading about stuff, it all just hits a little too close to home. I don't feel like I'm just being empathetic.

So yeah I just get into states where I don’t feel real. And sometimes during that state, I feel like I am an ‘other’. Not even sometimes, it is like always like this. It’s like “I don’t feel real right now….. What does real feel like? I am ____. I know I am not. But also I am.” These two me’s battling inside. One the believer (delusion) and me (The doubt/reality)

I don’t know how to put it, it’s like when ‘I don’t feel real’ I am waking up from a dream. The dream was whatever I was doing before I “woke up”. The experience I just went through doesn’t feel real. That doesn’t feel like real life. Now doesn’t feel real either, but at least I’m ‘awake’ and not ‘part of the matrix’. 

So yes I feel like. “Yes I am an angel. That is who I am” and then sometimes I go to’ sleep’ and feel like I’m a human. But when I “wake up” I am not human. I am usually an angel (most common ‘other’ feeling). I tell myself I am not an angel, I know it’s not true, but part of me believes I am an angel and I can’t stop believing it. 

And thats how it usually is. Usually there are the two of us. Me(delusion) and myself(reality), we’re fighting for dominance, and we feel so out of place in life. We want to go ‘back to sleep’ but even that doesn’t feel all that much better. When we’re ‘sleeping’ we still feel some level of unrealness/unreality, we’re just not acknowledging it or completely aware of it. 

Then, it’s only happened a few times, not many I can remember, when we’ll have a full episode. where me(delusion) takes over and we 100% feel like an ’other’. We don’t immediately panic like we don’t know where we are. Cause usually when this happens it is one of the other’s that believe they were tasked with becoming the new host, and so being here wouldn’t be so strange. But when it happened with c!tommy, I kinda just blinked my eyes, and was like “I am c!Tommy. What am I doing here?” and I(Tommy) was aware of a decent amount of information regarding the body, but I was Tommy. And I couldn’t stop thinking about exile enough to think about much more. just “Oh yeah I exist in this girl’s head, not really sure why, but I’m Tommy, and- Oh gosh exile was awful! I’m so happy I’m not in exile right now! And!-oh, but what about my friends…. But at least I’m not in exile!” and then when the episode ends, I(reality) wake back up and am like “what the fudge was that. That doesn’t feel like me. These memories don’t feel like mine. But that clearly just happened….”

And during some of these I don’t know how to describe them, call them, almost manic psychotic episodes, sometimes I also become obsessed with something like DID, and start thinking “Yes I must have DID. this must be what this is!” and then again, I’ll ‘wake up’ and be like. “No you don’t, silly.” or “what was I talking about? Of course I don’t have DID.” and again all my memories of when the episode was happening feel distant and not 100% mine. 

I just never feel real, and my memories always feel distant and like they don’t belong to me. And I can’t function or live my life! And I know I must be going through some sort of psychosis, I’m in the process of trying to get a doctor to talk to me, but I wanted to ask the internet. Do I fit ‘kins’ or IRL/DA ? I just want to meet some people that have an inch of understanding of what I’m going through. 

I don’t understand what it means to have a spiritual connection to something. I feel like I relate to something, and I feel like I am it, but I know I’m not. Yes I use the “past life” card to try to explain it, but I don’t actually believe in past lives, and Tommyiinnit definitely wasn’t one of them. And I also don't believe there is a parallel universe where the dsmp was real.

Thank you for any help or advice you can offer. And I'm sorry if anything I've said has upset you. Sincerely. 

[coloredincrayon]

Edit: I forgot to add warnings sry, —> depictions of violence, blood, mentions of death, swearing

Based on a glitch that caused a geovishap-hatchling to send Wriothesley flying

Neuvillette - vii

Wriothesley - wrio

Self indulgent (found) family stuff

Not reread or proofread whatsoever, so expect typos.

Wriothesley trusted Aether. Dispite being a criminal n fontaine, Aether was one of the few people Wrio knew he could trust. So, when Aether invited him to go on an adventure in lyiue, he ignored his urge to stay doing work and agreed, Aether convincing him that relaxing in a new environment may help to ease the stress that had been buildning on him the past couple of days.

Wrio sent in his request for temporary leave, and was shocked when it was none other than monsieur Neuvillette himself there to send him of. Wrio was long since past listening in on vii and aether talking, so he didn’t hear when vii reluctantly asked “be sure to take care of our duke, Aether.” Followed by a giggle and reasurrment.

The trip to lyiue was a surprisingly peaceful one, and it only took around two days before the bustle of the city was in earshot. Wrio had never really paid attention to the city In the past, only taking slight interest during the passing of rex-lapis. Needless to say, he knew nothing about where he was.

“Hey, hero!” Called a voice from behind the group of three “Aether, it’s been a while how have you been.” Some pedestrians had recognized the renowned traveler, seems the tour of the city would need to wait a bit longer. After some time aether brings the drawn out conversation to a hold, and quickly picks up the pace he was at before “sorry wrio, i haven’t been back in a while and some people may want to chat some.” “It’s fine, really.” Wrio refastens the belted bag on his shoulder and continues “though i will admit, i knew you were famous, but i didn’t think a hero would wind up with a sentence in the fortrace of meripede.” Aether stares at him quizzically before responding to the blatant teasing “it’s fine, i don’t think myself much of a hero anyways. Just helped out some during the osial crisis.” Aether thinks back to that fight, but before he can even begin to reminisce, paimon butts in “helped ‘some’ during the osial crisis? I think you mean a lot mister!” Paimon is now floating somewhat less lazily than before “ you took on the power of four adepti and lived long enough to talk about it! That seems like more than ‘some’ to paimon.”

Wrio knew aether was oblivious, but during their time in lyiue, he came to terms with the fact that aether may just be downright stupid when it came to social status. From downplaying him defeting a god, to chatting with lady ningguang like old friends, aether didn’t seem to know (or care) about someone’s fearful reputation, maybe that’s why wrio warmed up to him so quickly. People always seemed to be afraid of the well-known ‘duke of meripede’ but aether talked with him like you would anyone else, ignoring the stares and rumors and stories, aether was one of the few that actually saw wrio. So, it only made sense that after learning about aether’s real story, he began to worry somewhat. Not anything drastic, or overbearing, just checking in, making sure aether was eating, getting enough water and sleep. Wrio never fancied himself the caring type, now here he was, worrying and watching over this kid like anyone would do for their family.

“Family” wrio thought to himself, he never had much of that, and from what he heard of aether, neither did he anymore.

It was about a week into the ‘grand lyiue adventure’ as paimon and aether called it. Aether had taken commission to deal with some geovishap hatchlings near the dunyu ruins. As they approached the destination wrio questioned aether “so, what is a geovishap hatchling, exactly?” “A nuisance at best, deadly at worst. You can find them almost anywhere in lyiue if you look hard enough.” Wrio nodded along to aether’s description of them as they went.

An hour and a couple of dead hatchlings in and it looked like the commission was coming to a close. after defeating a final hatchling, wrio and aether both visibly relaxed aether had knocked the last one off the edge of the cliff they were standing on, cheering as he had apparently been wanting to kill one like that for a while.

Wrio only had a moment to process before he was hurdling himself at aether, shoving him out of the way as a hatchling popped out of the ground right under where aether was standing. The hatchling popped from the ground in an ungraceful fashion and latched itself onto the nearest object, being wriothesley. From bother knocking aether out of the way, and this newly attached monster clawing at him, wrio lost his balance, and fell.

“Wriothesley!” He heard aether scream as he plummeted to the ground, losing contact with the floor and the hatchling, wrio only thought one thing before he landed “atleast…I could protect..him…”

Aether is scrambling down the side of the cliff, Paimon close behind, both panicked beyond help. The fall itself wouldn’t have been lethal to someone like wriothseley, leaving a broken limb at most, but they had just been in battle, aether could see the fatigue on his companion as he took out that last hatchling, and the ground below was littered with rocks. Aether’s breath hitches and his blood runs cold when he sees wrio’s limp body surrounded by blood. Granted, surrounded not being the right word. Most of wrio’s fall seemed to have been interrupted by a plethora foliage, for better or worse. Though, the initial impact had been made on the rock his body was slouched under, the bright smear of blood falling from a pool above being the only indication needed.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Aether’s mind was running, he ran to and clutched wrio’s body in his own, trying desperately to wake him “shit…” he curses to himself “paimon! Lyiue harbor isn’t far, go find someone to help, i-I’ll stay here and see what i can do with what we have!” Paimon was hesitent but quickly agreed when aether shot them a worried glance.

It feels like hours have gone by the time paimon returns, millileth soldiers in tow. Aether full on sobbing at this point, holding wrio as close as he can without causing any further harm, muttering to himself (or wrio) “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, I’m sorry.”

Minutes, to hours, to days, aether knew baizou, knew he was the best, knew not to worry, but even still. Aether blamed himself, he learned that wrio would be fine, yet he still mourned from the death that never happend. He blamed himself, if he had been a little more perceptive or a little quicker, this all could have been avoided, only remembered as story told at social gatherings once they returned to fontaine. Oh archons, how could aether go back like this, he had caused harm to the one he swore to monsieur neuvillette he would protect. He couldn’t return, not for a while, he couldn’t see them, he couldn’t see wrio. He knew what they would say he knew how these things go, they’d say it’s “not your fault” and “everything worked out in the end” he just couldn’t face it.

“Aether?” Came a soft voice “doctor baizou! Uhm, i-is..” aether trails off, unable to form the words “wriothesley is doing better, he is awake now.” Aether turns, the light slowly returning to his face “he is asking to see you.” Oh archons “me, are you sure. Shouldn’t he be resting, or-or having checkups or-“ baizou holds up a hand “the patient specifically requested to see you.”

Aether is afraid to see wrio, hands shaking as he stands in front of the door to their room. After hearing what happened, keqing was quick o offer them a place to stay “just think of it as compensation for all you’ve done for us.” Aether usually would have declined, he hated using his status as ‘hero’ to get what he wanted, but he accepted for wrio.

He knocked on the door, paimon is the one to answer, both small hands on the doorknob to get it open “aether!” She shrieks with delight, engulfing him in a hug (barley able to wrap both arms around him) she drags him in and ushers him to wrio. Aether can feel as time stops, seeing wrio covered in bandages and wounds that still looked fresh. Once they made eye-contact wrio was instantly trying to sit up, groaning in pain as he did “you shouldn’t-“ “fuck what i should or shouldn’t do, I’m just glad to see you. I’m glad you’re okay.” Wrio was worried, about him? Not himself after that fall, but wrio was worried about aether. Tears begin to form in aether’s eyes and he darts them around trying to look anywhere but wrio. He holds his head low and slouches down, nothing like the confident sunshine adventurer people knew him as. “Hey, c’mere.” Wrio says as he grabs aether’s arm and pulls him in. even while in so much pain, wrio was worried about aether, his aether, the aether he learned to care about, the aether that infamous ‘duke of meripede’ came to see as his brother. The tears are flowing freely now, aether is in bed next to wrio, holding onto him for dear life and sobbing uncontrollably, all while wrio is holding him gently and whispering “it’s fine, I’m fine, you’re fine.” “But it’s because of me you got hurt!” “You could never hurt me, brother.” With that Paimon has left the room, and fallen fast asleep on the couch (which she is about one-third of the size of, like, seriously, why is she so small 🥺)

@mother---fucker I know you don’t really know these characters but I think I did good after having art/writers block for like two months

[runningandraisingmyheathens]

The past 48ish hours have been something else. Mariah’s birthday was yesterday. All she wanted was to see her sister and her nanny. So, I made it happen. We got there Saturday night. Stayed at an airbnb close to nanny’s. We didn’t get in until 7, didn’t get to nanny’s until 7:45. We ate dinner and hung out. I got everyone back and to bed by 9:30.

We were all startled awake at 1:30 to the terrifying pierce of the fire alarm. I panicked. Couldn’t find my glasses. I’m running around and screaming ‘get up, get out of the house!’ Of course, it stopped once I actually was at the door. Kai was the only one who also was there. Mariah and Josie never got of bed. We’d all have died if there had been a real fire. Anyway, I’m too jacked up and on alert to ever get fully back to sleep.

I drag myself out of bed at 6:30 to go run five miles before having Mariah open gifts. We walked the dogs and went straight back to nanny’s. We then drove to where Madison lives. Madison’s new family held Mariah’s birthday party there. They did everything, all we had to do was show up.

It was a very busy time with swimming and water slides. And Josie being a complete poot because they were jealous of Mariah. Josie was also upset because they felt like the other kids left them. So I spent a lot of time soothing that whole situation out. As it was time to leave, Mariah didn’t want to leave Madison. So, we decided she could stay the night there. Then it was a huge mess with Noah, Josie, and Renna crying because they couldn’t stay. Noah’s was the saddest thing. He just clung to her. So, it was decided Madison would stay with us instead.

Fast forward to bedtime. Mariah wants Madison to sleep with her. Josie doesn’t want to let her. Noah and renn also want to sleep with Madison. Josie starts having literal hysterics. Renna starts screaming that she hates me. Madison has an anxiety attack because Renn’s screaming. Noah is freaking out cause Madison’s having an anxiety attack. I get Madison calm. I finally get renn to sleep by saying she could sleep with me to pacify her. The Josie starts going again. I put them in my bed where they hyperventilate for the next hour. Renn leaves because she’s tired of listening. She goes to sleep in the living room where I wanted her to sleep anyway. Josie finally calms down and goes to sleep. Kai meanwhile has been quietly in her bed sleeping the whole time. She said this morning ‘God, I just sat there thinking ‘shut up, all of you!’

Got up early and we packed up. Madison got picked up. Noah and Mariah wouldn’t let her go. Madison’s lip was quivering the whole time. It was absolutely heart breaking. I hate knowing they all hurt that much. It’s not fair. I wish I had tried harder to keep them all together.

It was the same when we went and said goodbye to nanny. Noah has been very quiet since we came home. I know he’s sad. I asked if he wanted to talk. He just wants to be alone for awhile. Mariah is overly chipper. It’s so hard watching your children hurt and not being able to do anything to fix it.

After we got home around 5:30, I didn’t stop moving until 9, when I finally got to sit down and eat dinner. I’ve cried several times. I got a text saying Madison is back in the hospital after saying she wanted to die. I thought something was up when she kept giving Mariah all her stuff.

So. That was my weekend! It’s been a lot, and I could do with a good night’s sleep and about a week of therapy.

(Also someone should tell Keith that after knowing all this, he was stupid to bring up packing and moving to me today of all days)

[tokkiheart]

💕Things I Love About My Fanfic Readers💕

Since I’m single on Valentine’s Day (as I have always been) and since I’m struggling to write my K-Drama list for Valentine’s Day, I wanted to put out this list instead of things that I love about my fanfic readers! ❤️

Their Enthusiasm

Goodness, their enthusiasm always has my heart! I simply adore when I get a notification that I got a comment and see a reader post a comment in which their enthusiasm shines through about my writing, some examples:

• “PLEASE TOKKIHEART BRING THE WORLD MORE KANG CHUL AND YEONJOO CONTENT TO KEEP US ALL ALIVEEEEEE”

• “OMG I NEVER THOUGHT OF A DAY WHERE I NEEDED TO READ A STORY ABOUT KANG CHUL AND YEON JOO SHARING CLOTHES AND FALLING IN LOVE WITH IT”

• “this is good, very good, soooooooooo good”

• ❤️❤️💕

(Yes, I have a lovely reader who just posts hearts and it’s kinda cute and I just send hearts back ❤️)

When They Have Long Conversations With Me In The Comments

Some of my readers probably don’t have Tumblr or any other means by which to engage with fellow fans, so we just wind up bonding and having very long conversations with each other in the comments section and I honestly love that.

But also I so strongly relate to their struggle of not being able to talk about their thoughts, feelings, etc. about K-Dramas because I honestly only have 1 friend who watches K-Dramas of their own free will to talk to and they haven’t even seen W yet 😭

When They Check Up On Me???

Honestly, my heart. Like I mentioned that I had a severe storm that caused flooding in my town which led to like… 3 or 4 evacuation orders and we lost power for like 24 hrs and I still have a lovely reader who checks in on me weeks later to see how I’m doing and if the flood conditions are better and it’s just so sweet and I feel so loved to know they want to make sure I’m okay. 🥹

I just wish I could do the same thing in return because sometimes when my frequent commenters don’t post anything after a long time, I worry about them and hope that they’re doing okay 💔

When They Tell Me Their Day/Week/Month Was Horrible, But My One-Shot/Chapter Update Made Them Feel Better

I… there are no words to fully express how much it means to me to know that my fics have this affect on others 🥺💜

My silly little romantic fluff writings about my favorite K-Drama couple brought you joy?? It motivated you?? You feel better because I wrote this??

I don’t know, hearing stuff like that makes me feel so… happy? And honored? I feel like because what I’m doing is making others happy, I should keep going. I’m 90% certain this is why Key To Your Life is at 13 chapters now and didn’t get dropped at some point or something??

When They Give Me A Review On The Chapter/One-Shot

I have a few readers who constantly try to give me reviews, both short and long and sometimes it’s why they don’t post so often and I just want to hug them and tell them it’s okay, they can just post, they don’t have to give me a detailed review.

At the same time, I enjoy reading their reviews and I love reading them, laughing, clutching my heart and rolling around while I read them aloud to myself.

When A New Reader Binge-Reads My Fics

It’s fun, even if they never leave a comment, to watch someone discover my writing and apparently fall in love with it so much that they go through and read everything.

Like, I know I’ve only written 12 fanfics and 3 of those are chaptered, but dang! You’re dedicated, you leave a kudo on everything as you go and it seems like you love my writing! I see you and I appreciate you!

How Nice They Are

I know this sounds like an amalgamation of everything I’ve already said, but it’s not meant to be?

My best friend/occasional beta reader writes whump fics for the MacGyver (2016) reboot and every single time that I share the comments that I get from my readers with her, she expresses how envious she is of me and how nice my readers are and the type of comments that I get. I don’t know if that’s a commentary on whump readers, the fandom she’s in or a commentary on fluff readers or the fandom I’m in, but either way… you folks are so nice you spark envy from my best friend. 🤣

If I had to guess, it’s probably a commentary on the fandom I’m in. The fandom is probably starved for content and fics, I know I am lol

Anyway, it makes me so happy that my readers are so nice. Especially since I am very new to writing fanfics, so I feel like I chose the right place to start out. You all have no idea how much I stress about whether I have written something cringe or too cheesy or way too weird or that I’m writing the characters unfaithfully.

I think that concludes this list, but there’s probably so many other things that I love about my readers that I haven’t thought of lol

[ultraericthered]

I didn’t make that up! Toonami actually did this thing where they ran the whole saga under the “New Year’s Evil” marathon title, and since I’d watched the Dragon Ball Z movie (Dead Zone) towards the end of last year, watching this follow-up filler arc in the main anime series as a follow-up made sense for this New Years Eve week. And having done that, I just gotta say that WOW, I forgot just how stupid and awful this saga was. And I never liked this saga even when I was a kid watching the show on Cartoon Network/Toonami, so revisiting it now as an adult was a good refresher on just exactly why that is. 

By far the biggest problem in the whole saga is the premise itself, and all the ways it does not work at all. By bringing Garlic Jr. and the events of the first movie into the series, they’re basically canonizing that movie into the anime’s timeline of events. The issue here is that that particular movie and that particular bad guy are the absolute worst choices for material to do that with. In the movie, Roshi and Krillin knew Gohan and that he was Goku’s son, and the plot had Goku and Piccolo working together to fight a villain who’d abducted Gohan. Then in the anime, which that movie is now canonical to, Roshi and Krillin are shocked to meet Goku’s son Gohan, and Goku and Piccolo then work together to fight a villain who’d abducted Gohan, with not even an allusion to the same thing having happened before! And Garlic Jr. is the last villain you’d want to see the Z Fighters go up against in a rematch because...well, he’s immortal. He actually successfully wished on the Dragon Balls for eternal life! Meaning that any plot involving the character can only end the exact same way for him as his debut outing, cheapening his whole shtick.

Beyond the premise, even the plot itself doesn’t work! Garlic Jr. goes for the “make every human on Earth evil” plan while asserting himself as the new God of Earth who will make all Earthly life into his army of darkness to besiege the universe with. This is a decent, if uninspired, set-up...that’s coming right off the heels of the Freeza Saga and right before Freeza’s return and the debut of Future Trunks that leads us into the Cell Saga. The threat and the stakes feeling so much lower here sticks out like a sore thumb between those two canon arcs. Ultimately we’re treated to nothing new in this saga, learn nothing that we didn’t already know, see zero character development aside from one well developed MVP, and its events are never mentioned again in later arcs sans the random “Maron at Kame House” subplot.

The MVP of this saga I mentioned? Piccolo! If I could give any reason to watch this saga at all to anyone, it’s for him. His portrayal is very consistent with the growth he had in the Saiyan Saga and the self discovery he had in the Freeza Saga, and actually sets him on a good foundation for what’s to come in the Cell Saga. The stuff he does in the saga and all of his fight scenes are badass, especially whenever it’s him one-on-one against Garlic Jr. Even the final line by the narrator in the last episode (the last one featuring the main plot, at least) is about him and how much he now cares about the Earth.

Second best character in this saga would be Garlic Jr. himself. He is just so constantly unhinged, so malicious, and so entertaining as the evil little shit that he is. I found myself really wishing they did more with him as Piccolo’s foil and archenemy, ‘cause he is such a natural fit; he too is a “Junior” born/reincarnated from his evil father who’d been an enemy of Kami’s, thus making him an enemy of Kami. But Piccolo was able to grow and move beyond his initial purpose as the Demon King Reincarnated, while Garlic never got the chance to really be his own self independent from his father and it’s driven him mad, consumed by malice and incapable of changing his ways. ....BUT there’s another reason I feel it was a mistake to bring him back like this. Except for the very first scene, he spends the entirety of the saga at Kami’s Lookout. His evil lair from the movie was a huge factor in what made him work there; it was downright Satanic in aesthetic and gave the presence of sheer EVIL in a way I’ve rarely seen or felt in Dragon Ball. Having this dark priest imp occupying a much lighter looking backdrop stripped away some of his menace.

The other characters are meh. Gohan is pretty bland and at times feels like he’s regressed in growth after the Freeza Saga, Krillin is just Krillin, Master Roshi is badly written and unfunny Filler Roshi, Yajirobe and Korin are completely superfluous, Chi-Chi, Bulma, Yamcha and the rest are alright but not remarkable, and the new Spice Boys are just your basic bitch boring cannon fodder minions. If nothing else, I at least gained somewhat more respect for Mr. Popo and (to a lesser extent) Kami, even though I still don’t like them.

Oh yeah, the elephant in the room here - Maron, Krillin’s brief fling who was not to last as his girlfriend. As a girlfriend, she’s too much. She’s honestly despicable in the spoiled, demanding, emotionally manipulative and controlling way she treats poor Krillin. She’s also almost too dumb to be breathing, except for the few occasions where she says or does something that tells us she knows exactly what she’s doing and feels zero shame. The camera gaze on her and her Ms. Fanservice moments are quite appalling, and by the end, she’s accomplished nothing except making others around her miserable. Do I hate her? Surprisingly no. I think she’s best described as an Andy Kaufman joke in character form. Once you realize you’re being trolled and that you’re meant to be pissed off at her, she ends up becoming a lot funnier and her padding scenes a bit more welcome.

Now for the big shocker: with all of that said about Maron....I’d much rather sit through every one of her scenes than having to see the four scenes with Vegeta. Yes, I’m serious. Vegeta is the worst part of this saga. At least Maron was there since the saga’s start and her being Krillin’s girlfriend gives her some relevance to at least one of the major players. Vegeta is out in space, far removed from what’s going on in the story. Any viewer who thinks his scenes might end up connecting to the plot in any way will be let down, and any who then think his scenes are set-up for the next arc will be doubly let down because he then comes back to Earth empty-handed. His whole subplot accomplished absolutely nothing. He’s just filler in a fucking filler arc! In the end, all Vegeta ended up doing is reinforcing what a dumb adaptational decision it was for him to steal a Capsule ship and go into space looking for Kakarot at the end of the Freeza Saga, which was the crescendo of bad adaptational decisions made with him since he came back to life! The Bad Man shirt couldn’t come fast enough to get this character back on track and actually cool again!

Lastly, the dub was still in Season 3, so most of the voice acting I had to endure was painful, with Sony Strait’s Krillin still sounding like a munchkin, Stephanie Nadolny’s Gohan’s acting being unconvincing, Chris Sabat’s Piccolo is a laughably terrible Scott McNeil impression, his Kami is just plain terrible, even Yajirobe and Korin sounded way worse than I’d heard in the later Dragon Ball dub. The one original performance that sounds great is Chuck Huber as Garlic Jr.; I liked Don Brown better, but Chuck was really good at nailing the evilness and insanity of the character too. But of course, as this was the remastered dub that’s now the default one available, there were three roles that got redubbed. Leah Clark as Maron is a marked improvement over Daphne Gere’s original, and Chris Sabat’s new Vegeta was fine even though his deep, gruff, hoarse smoker voice he was doing back then sucked. But the last recast/redubbed role is ... J. Michael Tatum as Spice? OK but why? The other three Spice Boys have their original voice acting in-tact, so Spice having a totally different quality of voice acting from them and with a recognizable voice who’d later be Zarbon in the Dragon Ball Z Kai dub was super distracting. Worse still, there was one point I swear that Tatum didn’t redub, so Spice suddenly says a line in his first dub voice! WTF???

Overall, this was a plot for a movie or TV special that somehow found its way into the main anime as a 10 episode filler saga. And as such, it suffered greatly in quality and presentation, going down in infamy as one of the low points of the series. 4/10, can skip it if you’d like to.

“HIGHLIGHTS” OF THIS SAGA INCLUDE:

- “Somehow Garlic Jr. returned!” No, I’m not even joking here. In the opening scene of the saga, that’s pretty much literally what Garlic Jr. himself uses to establish that he’s just somehow broken free from the Dead Zone and is back on Earth. How he managed this does not get a proper explanation until three episodes in! That is cheap writing.

- Popo tells Garlic his own story. When Garlic Jr. confronts Mr. Popo at the lookout, Popo recaps the events of the Dead Zone movie and Garlic’s part in it right to Garlic’s face. Why is he telling him all this? He was there, it all happened TO him! This is not information he needs to be hearing! Maybe this was dub-induced, but doing a recap for the audience in this manner just feels gratuitous all the same.

- When suddenly vampires! Yeah, his name is Garlic and the lead Spice Boy, Spice, resembles a vampire, but I didn’t think that literal vampirism would factor into things until the Black Water Mist doesn’t just corrupt people’s souls and drive them to evil, but makes them into sharp toothed vampires who can turn others into being like them by biting them on the neck! A little excessive, don’t you think, Toei?

- Gohan and Garlic Who? Gohan is the child Garlic Jr. abducted and who sent him into the Dead Zone to begin with. Garlic certainly hasn’t forgotten Gohan, but Gohan barely has ANY reaction to Garlic! You’d think seeing him again would awaken repressed memories of the incident and justify some of his fear in the story, but it’s never really touched upon, so Garlic is just a random baddie to Gohan.

- Krillin’s near deaths. Speaking of underreactions from Gohan, Krillin is owned and nearly killed more than once in this saga. Krillin was actually killed by Freeza right before Gohan’s eyes on Namek, so there should be some PTSD reactions going on here except...there isn’t. Gohan doesn’t flash back to Namek at any point, even when it looks like Krillin might be a goner in a way very similar to what happened on Namek! I know I probably shouldn’t be expecting much since Dragon Ball hardly deals with issues as complex and heavy as childhood trauma, this isn’t Steven Universe Future here. But they didn’t even go for the barest minimum even at the easiest openings!

- Vegeta says what? There’s a line Vegeta says in one of his awful scenes that I swear had to be a dub mistranslation. He boasts about being the Prince of Saiyans whose power far eclipses other warriors and ultimately not even Freeza was a match for him, but Kakarot alone surpasses him! Vegeta, this is a bald-faced LIE! Freeza DESTROYED you in every sense of the word! The whole reason Kakarot surpasses you now is because he became a Super Saiyan and thus equal in power to Freeza! Who are you trying to fool here?

- Kami & Popo’s run / Kami Torture Porn. Some of the worst content in the saga comes when Kami and Mr. Popo travel into some other dimensional space to obtain the Sacred Water and send it out into Earth’s atmosphere. There is animation of Kami & Popo frantically running that is re-used constantly, repeated slapstick run-ins with invisible walls, absolutely terrible continuity between scenes (Kami is worn out and/or incapacitated before we cut back to the fight with Garlic Jr., then when we’re back with Kami & Popo, they’re running again!), and Kami getting electrically tortured by his predecessors ad nauseum. I’m not a fan of Kami, I don’t think he has many fans, but were there people really clamoring to see this shit happen to him? 

- That awkward silence moment. This one part in the fight where Garlic Jr. has seemingly buried Piccolo under rubble and he then just...stands there with a dumbass look on his face, taking in his triumph while there’s absolutely no sound. And it was so painfully awkward that it made me wish I was watching this with the Bruce Faulconer track ‘cause you know that would negate the silence.

- Size expansion and sonic scream. Piccolo and Kami showcased two familiar abilities here, one being a welcome return and the other being a shudder-inducing early appearance. To match Garlic Jr. in his transformed state, Piccolo expands his size a bit, which Gohan remarks he didn’t know Piccolo could do. We, of course, did know since he did this against Goku in the 23rd Budokai, albeit to a much larger (read; gigantic) size, so it’s cool to see him utilize that power again. Meanwhile, Kami at one point uses a vibrating scream to shatter a wall in front of him and Popo. That’s right, the same ability that Majin Buu would later use in a saga-derailing moment. Yeesh!

- Eternal life. One part I actually really liked was how Garlic Jr’s immortality was displayed. In his movie, it was sort of just an informed thing - he wished for eternal life, was granted it, and then kept reminding you that he had it. But here, we see Gohan tear right through Garlic’s body and blast him in the face, which would kill any other opponent...but then Garlic gets back up and his fatal wound fades into nonexistence as though it hadn’t even happened to him! It’s an effectively alarming moment to see and actually demonstrates what it means for a powerful fighter to have eternal life - unkillable.

- HUMAN VEGETA?. By far the single strangest moment in the whole saga is a very brief bit in the opening minutes of one episode where a bunch of vampiric humans are smashing up a city. One of the people is shown up close, screaming into the camera...and he has the exact same hairstyle and facial structure as Vegeta! It’s the epitome of lazy character models when you take the model of one of the most major and recognizable characters in the series and use it for a total rando! I seriously could not believe my eyes were seeing it!

- “BULLIES, I SAY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” One of the biggest laughs came from a horrendously delivered and narmy line of dialogue from Kami, when he declares to his predecessors “You’re now nothing but a bunch of bullies! Just BULLIES, I SAY!” and he lets out a dumbass laugh of defiance that doesn’t even remotely match the way he’s looking in that moment. It simply has to be heard to be believed.

- “OH YEEEEAH? “YEEEEAH!” A close second would be this. Garlic jr. gets back up from getting knocked down by Krillin, faces Krillin and says “OH YEEEEAH?”, to which Krillin replies with a “YEEEEEAH!”

- Dead Zone Redux. While Garlic Jr. opening up the Dead Zone again is a groaner, I did appreciate the artistic value of the contrast between when it happened in the movie and when it happens here. One has a dark, black, Satanic place in ruin down below while this one has a light, white, holy place in ruin down below. It’s poetry!

- The Finale. The final episode of the conflict with Garlic Jr. deserves mention ‘cause it subverts the expectation of “What, we’re just doing Dead Zone again?” and actually surprisingly sticks the landing. Where was this level of quality for every episode leading up to it? Even some questionable lines of dialogue (”That pimple of a barrier is going to pop, and all of you will ooze into the Dead Zone like the puss that you are!”) can’t ruin the action and intensity of the personal stakes, and I particularly liked that they didn’t go the expected “it all comes down to Gohan VS Garlic Jr. again” route by instead keeping the final battle between Garlic and Piccolo, with Krillin providing back-up and a diversion while Gohan blows up the Makyo Star. And seeing Garlic’s buff form shrivel up was just oh so satisfying. And to top it off, the follow-up from the battle plays out very reminiscent of how it did in the movie, same characters and even the same musical score, only this time Goku isn’t there yet Piccolo is in a very different moral position compared to where he was last time. That’s brilliant.

- Jump Cut Sum Up. There’s a single moment that I think best sums up the entire Garlic Jr. Saga. Maron starts petting Korin and calling him cute again, causing Korrin to comedically snap at her to knock it off. The scene then immediately shifts back to Garlic Jr. brutally strangling Piccolo and Krillin while cackling maniacally as a dramatic score booms in the background. The tone has no consistency here.

[whoseafraidofliloleme]

It kinda was but kinda wasn’t, ngl I expected Zoa but not really Jihan as she wasn’t mentioned much…lowkey was expecting it to be Lia 😂 but honestly the Peace fic has such a special place in my heart and I’m always re-reading it it’s just so good and a perfect mix of everything. I would also just like to preface I love all of your enhypen works not just the hogwarts ones heheh.

Ngl with Jin being my BTS bias I giggled seeing the flying kiss gif 🤭 I’m actually soooo glad you talked about the album cause now I can talk about it too. Honestly I love the album as a whole and I really love when artist can do different concepts and emotions in songs especially in an album as it makes it so much more complex and non repetitive…. Maybe that’s why I started stanning Enhypen when they debuted 🤔 plus I love me some songs with hidden meanings and stories with all the plots somehow correlating to each other.

Anywhoooo rn my go to song is another level it kinda gives me old school kpop vibes like Pray(I’ll be your man) by BTOB. It’s gonna sound a lil silly/unrelated but I do still love super tuna lmaooo something about that song is just so Jin and cute and fun and so unserious and I love that so much. Honestly makes my day brighter hearing it and imagining his windshield wiper laugh missed him so bad 😭 speaking of tangent I had bought tickets for the one time they were gonna be in FL and it got postponed then cancelled cause of covid so I’m really hoping I’ll be able to see them when they all come back inshallah 🤞🏼

Oooo make sure you stay warm and healthy babes 💕 but I definitely feel you on the liking colder weather part I moved out of state to live with my parents and younger brothers again and rn with the seasons changing all of the tree leaves are turning various shades of Orange, red, and brown and I’m loving it! Plus the below 10 degree weather(Celsius) is nice, well at least for myself and one of my brothers lol my mum and dad keep complaining the house is freezing 😂.

You’re soooo sweet omg 😭 thank you for wanting to read my Jake fic. I did end up tagging you in it as I finally finished and uploaded it (warning I got carried away and it’s 18.2k words), feel free to pm me your thoughts if/whenever you get around to reading it. I will babes, you as well make sure to take care of yourself well!! 💕

Lol, I definitely made it obvious that Zoa is one of the gossip girls. I liked twisting it by having Jihan a hufflepuff that was being a major bitch for no real reason other than she didn't like YN 😂. Peace was such fun to write, I definitely like that I tried something new to me and it wasn't a complete failure 😅😂. Aww thank you for loving all my enhypen works 🥹🥹. If I could ask which ones would be ur top? Obviously Peace but apart from that top 3 or 5? With reasons please���� Whichever is easier to pick. I'm fascinated by knowing this stuff.

Well knowing Jin is ur bias too, I'm adding a Jin gif at the end of every ask now 😂. Gotta spread his world wide handsome. Lol, let us fangirl about our bias. I agree, the album as a whole is just so good, if anything I want more from Jin 😫 only 6 songs ws too short.

Having Gary Barlow as a song writer was a surprise for me, I was maybe expecting Chris Martin to be involved somehow. Tbf I don't really know Gary Barlow all that much apart from when he was a judge on X Factor UK which I watched as a teenager. The Brit pop rock feeling of Running Wild is great for me but again my favourite song changes every listen.

Super Tuna never fails to bring a smile to my fave 😂. It's so silly and childish but so totally Jin at the same time. Like only this man can make an emotional song abt going to military and loving his fans but also have a silly ass tune abt catching Tuna. The versatility with this man is wild and I genuinely love everything he's putting out, I havent watched any of the stuff, I'm saving it all for a rainy day when I need my bias to pick me up.

Inshallah u get to see them live. I hope I can too one day. One of my best friends for my birthday in 2021/22 I think took me to see BTS in concert at the cinema, when they did the whole PTD in cinemas? It was a wonderful experience but it just made me want to see them live even more.

I am a winter baby through and through. Gimme the cold over summer any day 😂. The snow didn't stick, atleast not in my part of London but that was cause it was raining at the same time 😂. It did continue to be freezing for the next few days but it's gotten better. That cold spell was wild for the few days we had it 😂.

Girlie gimme that power to be able to write 18.2k words pls. I couldn't leave a comment as I read the fic on my way to work but I thoroughly enjoyed every second of it. I don't tend to read Jake fics but u just sucked me in and I couldn't stop reading.

Stay hydrated, take care and remember self care and to always love urself as much as our bias loves himself 💞.