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And yet, over the 2,000 school shootings we've had in the past like, 50 years, only one person was charged with terrorism? And that was a 15 year old in Michigan in 2021? Not to mention they're wanting to give him the death penalty when there's not a SINGLE school shooter I can find who has recueved the same? In fact, someone got PARDONED of the death penalty in Pennsylvania after harming 34 people, 17 of them who DIED. He is considered a mass shooter, and he was pardoned of the death penalty. He was 17, but COULD'VE AND *SHOULD'VE* been charged as an adult.
The government literally doesn't care guys. They are doing EVERYTHING in their corrupted system of power to get this man in jail for killing a man who had indirectly MURDERED millions, if not BILLIONS, of people for money, and they can't fuckimg bother to ecxecute a school shooter? We also elected A FELON as our president, and now the cabinet and office is filled with BILLIONAIRES who DON'T CARE about ANYONE but THEMSELVES.
Our country is falling apart and Ihdk what to do about it anymore.
Anyway, I don't usually like to get into politics but ty for coming to my TED Talk :)
luigi mangione, the SUSPECTED (innocent until proven guilty) united healthcare shooter, has been charged with terrorism. that’s right. a man who supposedly shot ONE SINGLE PERSON is being charged with terrorism. because in america, billionaires lives matter enough that a SINGLE rich man’s death is considered a terrorist act against this country. think about that.
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The Lone Wolf Dies
End-Class Princess: the Other Assassin
In which Takeshi looses the plot, Kurokawa Hana ends up dragging him along with it anyway, and a dog starts to revert to a wolf.
—
The first day of middle school, Takeshi hears some classmates sniggering about a prank they played on Sawada-Chan. They seem so pleased with themselves, at the reaction that Hibari-Senpai will have when she makes it to school tomorrow. Takeshi frowns slightly. Sawada-Chan is nice. She didn’t deserve that. He resolved to try and be extra nice to her when she came back.
—
Takeshi is restless. Sawada-Chan hasn’t been at school all week. They’d had a test already, and everyone had laughed about his low scores, saying that at least he had baseball. It stung worse than usual, turning his head slightly and not seeing a distressed pair of brown eyes and wringing hands. He hadn’t realized that he kept an eye out for her, or noticed that she worried about his grades. It’s been a week, surely she’s not sick? Hibari-Senpai has been rougher than usual too.
—
It’s a month into the new school year, and it feels like he’s the only one who’s noticed that Sawada-Chan hasn’t shown up. Everyone else seems to be forgetting about her altogether, except Kurokawa-San. She occasionally glances at a particular empty desk and frowns.
—
Takeshi squints his eyes shut to hide his irritation, flashing a toothy grin. To be honest, it feels more like he’s baring his teeth. The baseball team is getting on his nerves. Before, he’d been able to work it out on the diamond, the sheer physicality and camaraderie of the team pulling together soothing him. But as the weeks drag on, it works less and less. The team favors him as a star player, but they seem to be pulling less of their own weight.
He tells himself he’s just being overly sensitive. This year has just been unusually stressful. Once he adjusts to middle school, it’ll get better.
(He glances at an empty desk, than away. He accidentally locks eyes with Kurokawa-San doing the same. Maybe he should see if she wants to talk.)
—-
Kurokawa-San seems to be the only other person who’s noticed that Sawada-Chan hasn’t been to school once. Even Sasagawa-Chan just brushes it off with a vague, “who? Oh, Dame-Tsuna! Do you think she had to go to another school for extra tutoring?” She’s nice about it, at least.
Kurokawa-San is surprised when he points out no one has seen her in town either.
“I didn’t think you paid her that much attention,” she stated. “Huh. I suppose even a monkey like you can tell what would happen if you asked her out.”
It’s not that. It’s just. He didn’t realize how much the glimpses of her had settled him down before. Right now it just feels someone is rubbing sandpaper on the inside of his skin. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling, it always happens over the summer. Usually it goes away when school starts up and he can play baseball. But baseball isn’t working like it usually does. Sawada-chan’s mysterious disappearance gives him something to focus on so he doesn’t use his bat like a shinai and makes the second string players run faster.
His dad would be upset if he did that.
—-
Takeshi realizes intellectually that he should be proud to be playing an away game in his first year of middle school, even with his less than stellar grades. He’s more distracted by imaging all the ways he could really hurt people. Kurokawa is helping, a little, ever since she noticed his struggle to keep his smile up.
“Stop pushing yourself around me, like some sort of stupid monkey,” she said bluntly. “I know you’re a wolf, try not to go rabid.”
He’s pretty sure people are starting to think they’re dating, the way he seeks her out. She mostly doesn’t care, and uses it as an excuse to get away with physically grounding him. The desperate rasping inside him is growing worse.
If this keeps up, they’re both worried he’s going to kill someone. And not even Hibari-senpai is paying enough attention to notice.
(She would have.)
—-
Takeshi whips his head around as they’re escorted to the sports field. Had that been, Sawada-Chan? What would she be doing here?
—
After the game, the coach lets them wander around the market a bit, as a reward for winning. Takeshi takes him up on it, managing to shed the usual hangers-on that he has after a game. The sandpaper and chisels that have been steadily working away inside his skin are joined by anxious jangling bells. He can’t figure out what’s wrong with him.
“Yamamoto-kun?” A familiar voice rings out, puzzled.
He turns and the bells go silent, the chisels drop away from his bones, and the sandpaper pauses. Sawada-Chan is staring at him, pale amber eyes meeting his properly for once, a cloth bag slung over her shoulder. Takeshi beams at her. Oh. So this is why Kurokawa called him a wolf.
“Sawada-Chan! How have you been? Kurokawa and I have missed you,” he comes up to talk to her without hesitation. He’s almost dizzy as whatever has been clawing at him finally quiets down.
—
Eventually, he manages to convince her invite him back her place. She leads him to an apartment, tossing him concerned looks from the corner of her eye. Takeshi feels something in him preen in pleasure. He’d never noticed her do that before, but the feeling is very familiar. She has worried about him, and not because of his baseball skills.
She looks good, her shoulders held back and her gaze steady. He had never noticed her eyes were so light before, almost the same shade as fossilized amber. She’d always had her head down before. Takeshi likes it.
“I texted Rika-Chan, she said it was alright to lend you her slippers,” Sawada-Chan pulled out a pair of guest shoes for him.
They were still a little stiff, but he was too distracted by how many pairs of shoes were tidily tucked into the shelves of cubbies by the door. While she’d been gone, she’d become close enough to a lot of people, close enough to have guest slippers. He ruthlessly suppressed the urge to mess them up. What if she got mad at him and threw him out? He wasn’t ready to face the noise yet.
—
Her apartment was small, but cozy. There was a beat up old kotatsu where she was putting some tea for him, and a faded couch. There were little touches everywhere that called to mind comfort. (He liked the amateur ink painting of a puppy of some kind, tripping over its paws chasing a ball.) Takeshi was seized by the desire to roll around the whole place and never leave. A plate of dumplings, lopsided and mismatched, found themselves next to the tea.
—
Eventually, he has to go, but he managed to spend several hours talking to Sawada-Chan. She’s bolder than she used to be, but still doesn’t say much. Takeshi is pleased with himself when he manages to get her to forget to be wary and snark back at him. She even let him take a nap on her couch while she did homework leaning against it.
No wonder she’s in Kunugigaoka now. He doesn’t even know where to start, and she’s flying through the worksheets.
—-
There’s a slim hand nudging his shoulder. It’s not Kurokawa, and it’s not his otusan. His hand snaps up, snake quick, to latch onto the wrist. He misses. It’s so unusual, that he actually pauses before remembering where he was.
“Oh, sorry, Sawada-Chan!” He grins desperately. “I didn’t recognize you!” Please don’t send him away. He doesn’t want to have her shrink away from him again. He doesn’t know what he’d do if she flinched from him. Kurokawa is getting better at genuinely not flinching, even when she gets cut by the edges he can’t hide anymore.
“It’s fine,” he almost collapses as she waves it off. “But the buses are going to stop running for the night, your otousan has already called you.”
—
He gets her number before he lets himself be ushered out the door, nearly running into her neighbor who eyes him suspiciously. Not even Takeshi’s best sheepish grin erases the unfriendly look in the man’s eyes. It, probably didn’t help that he was disheveled, and still smelled a bit sweaty from the baseball game earlier. It didn’t look good, a teenage boy walking out of girl’s apartment looking like that.
Takeshi avoided his gaze and hurried to the bus depot. His otousan had been pleased that the reason he’d gone missing was running into a friend and loosing track of time, and not something, else. But he’s heard the warning to make it back tonight, and so had Sawada-Chan. She’d all but thrown him out the door, tugging on a worn pair of running shoes to lead him to the bus depot in time to catch the last bus to Namimori.
As the bus tumbled into the night, he wonders when he can make time to come back again, and how many times it will take before his shoes have a space in her entrance.
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Activism for likes
Okay, let's talk about something serious that thankfully I don't see here but in other social media is everywhere : Activism of likes.
That's when I truly feel my age because every time I see a - 25 having the same Ctrl c Ctrl v arguments, being hypocrite, only seeing things as black and white and playing white saviour...I lose a bit of faith in the future.
In Avatar fandom, an older show, I don't see much of this but in Arcane... People thinking they are doing woke comments when in reality they are just exposing themselves as someone who didn't even watch the show.
Ekko forgives Jinx , who quite literally killed his buddies and was his enemy for years. He also befriends Heimerdinger, a 200+ council member who never did anything for Zaun. Why do some people fully believe that he wouldn't forgive Vi for becoming an enforcer for a brief time? Just bc y'all don't understand her reasons to do it, doesn't mean he also wouldn't. He would be disappointed (as he should) but he would understand and forgive.
They also give Jinx a pass just because she is poor. And I say this bc when a rich girl (Caitlyn) does the same shit, she is fully hated. Talk about projecting your world frustrations in a fantasy world right... And again, you should disagree with Caitlyn radical action bc they were bad, but pretend that she didn't have a solid reason to do so or even ignore the fact that she was also manipulated, is just dishonest and hypocrite. I don't know y'all, but I would not care if Jinx also had reasons to blow up the council but if my mom died there, I would do the same as Caitlyn (and, you probably would too, if you have a good relationship with your mom. Don't play the all righteous here.)
And it gets me because if ppl are unable to understand that a fantasy world such as Arcane, where as viewers see both sides of the wall. Imagine they trying to talk about real world problems, which is a lot more complicated and nuanced.
Activism is only "true" when it has substance, when it has argument, when the person behind study stuff and it's always trying to learn more and more. It's when they can hold a discussion without insulting the other person.
(yes, I understand that there's radical activism but even for these. People need to study or else it will be violence for the sake of it and the bigger enemy will destroy it)
Be unable to hold a discussion with people who think differently, oversimplifying the world and seeing everything as black and white is conservative agenda and not activism
#korrasami#the legend of korra#avatar korra#arcane#ekko arcane#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#jinx arcane#caitvi
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@dickgraysonsptsd : #i've been thinking about this sooo much mal .. sladick dynamic is so sexy when focusing on dick as brain and slade as heart
YOU GET ITTTTT
I dunno this is gonna be such a rambling post but. I definitely think that they themselves believe they embody the opposite (dick as heart and Slade as brain). Dick, especially in opposition to Bruce, is bright and funny and loud. He was Robin , for Christ's sake. But on his own, when he's not under Bruce's wing, he's analytical, he's a bitch, he's downright cold when he wants to be.
But he wants emotion to come easy to him. It doesn't. Look at how he acts- yes, he lashes out at times, but the way that he intellectualizes things leaves little to no room for processing the emotional part of things. (Dick strikes me as the type to be like "well. I understand *why* so and so did this thing- I'm going to act upset because I *should* be upset, but it's mostly playacting through emotion rather than actually feeling it. I know why they did it, I know how to avoid this situation in the future, so it's no skin off my back.) (not that he doesn't feel emotion- he absolutely does. But at his core he's a performer. Who's to say how much of his intensity is real?)
(I'm not as much of an expert on dick as I am Slade, this is my general take on him, not the complete analysis of him)
So when he sees Slade- someone who's cold and analytical and professional, being *emotional?* He gravitates towards it. He craves that realness, that genuine feeling (even if it hurts him in the end) because it's something that he's never been able to obtain for himself.
Slade, on the other hand, fights tooth and fucking nail to keep that Deathstroke reputation. He refuses to give up a name to save his own son for that reputation. But when it comes down to it, Slade is such a deeply emotional person that it colors *everything* he does. There's this line somewhere in TNTT vol.1 when Grant first dies. Slade *knows* the Hive got him killed on purpose. He knows that they were trying to get to him. He tries to play it off as a "I have to finish my son's legacy" but the only reason hes doing anything is because he cares. He loved Grant, in his own fucked up way, and his hurt + anger at his death was what fueled everything for him. No one would blame Deathstroke for ignoring a contract that wasn't even his. No one even knew that Ravager was his son, at least not the people that mattered.
So, just like Dick, he gravitates towards what he doesn't have. He sees someone who, supposedly, has the same mask that he's wearing. A professional and aloof facade. But where they differ is that Slade drops his mask, sometimes. When they're fighting, when the contract gets a little too personal, when Dick says something that digs a little too deep. What pisses him off is that he can't seem to find any cracks in Dick's mask and he wants to be the one to pry underneath it.
Somehow, the personalities between Dick and Slade have gotten totally mixed up in fandom??
Slade is an INCREDIBLY emotionally-person. Nearly all of his major decisions come from his connections with other people. He took up the Titans contract because his son died during it. There's like, at least a dozen lines in TNTT where Slade admits that he doesn't care about contracts, he doesn't care about the money, he takes most important contracts based on his personal investment in them. At his core, he's prideful, but even that is set aside in favor of his relationships.
(even with Joey. Joey just wasn't important enough for him)
Dick, on the other hand, is cold and calculating in almost every sense of the phrase. He's quick as a whip and clever, and his compassion + empathy somehow makes this... Disappear when it comes to fan content. He turns into a caricature of the "bubbly, golden retriever" stereotype instead of the FAR more intriguing personality that he has. He cares, of course he does, but that is overshadowed by his analytical brain. Look at this like from TNTT (I forgot which issue- it's when him and Kory's relationship was in it's infancy)
Dick: Besides. I think I've always been too introspective for my own good.
Kory: I know I love you. Isn't that enough?
Dick: I don't think so. You see, I only think I may love you.
#dunno this is super rambly#rats is probably gonna reblog this he started rambling abt dick grayson when he was proofreading this post#but YOU GET IT DGPTSD YOU GET IT
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I think a lot of ppl need to be their own protectors, swallow their pride, and not act in ways that lead to irreversible regrets and guilt. But 20yros on tiktok made us all believe cut off culture was a punishment to enact lightly.
#im not saying cutting ppl off is always a bad thing#i just think yall do it too often and for the worst reasons#and then when the person you love/loved dies or kills themselves#you live with irreversible traumatic guilt and regret#how are you protecting yourself from others while also being the person who irreversibly damages themselves by choice?#yall just take that action too lightly#conflict happens in close relationships#learn how to set boundaries and be the boss of your own world#you can love people at any distance you choose to set#without killing them off#i see so many videos of people being upset with someone#and cutting them off#then that person dies or kills themselves#you cut them off bc they harmed your mental health but your actions end up harming your mental health more than anyone else#idk#i dont want to live with regrets#again im not against cutting ppl off#ive cut off several ppl#i just dont think it should be done so charitably#guilt and regret reforms your brain the same way trauma does#youre going to end up doing major damage to yourself unless you find your own inner strength and confidence#your happiness and health doesnt have tocbe dependant on how other people treat you#their actions speak only for themselves#it's just as hard to gain mental and emotional strength as it is to gain physical strength#idk idk idk#youre not an anarchist or rebellious if you dont believe in community#if you love the drug addicts you see on the street and think they need to be shown humanity#but you cant do that for the addicts you know personally?#just an example... idk#yall are anti community snd struggle and then call yourself anarchists and it's embarrassing
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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Ghost Chirps AU Part 5
Part 1 & 2
Part 3
Part 4
***
While “Jason” (i.e. Alfred with an empty jet that Jason will meet up with later in order to “arrive” in Amity) hops a private jet, Red Hood is busy searching the Fenton home from top to bottom.
The local police move slowly, and by the time they arrive Jack and Maddie Fenton are both tied up and disarmed in their living room under heavy guard.
They hadn’t been restrained immediately, Batman talking him into giving them a chance to implicate themselves first.
Hood let him take the lead, but he didn’t even get a chance to ask a question, being cut off at the first indication he might want to talk about their “work.��� Less than 60 seconds in, and the pair had outright confessed to violating the meta protection acts - and in tedious detail.
The questioning didn’t suffer any from them being tied up.
Far from the mulish silence or crocodile-tear laden denial of most criminals, they instead doubled down, insisting that nothing they had done was illegal, then jumping to the assumption that they were “possessed” - and boy had it been a nasty surprise when the whole house came alive trying to attack them with a quick verbal command.
Well, trying to attack Hood. And only him, for some reason.
One laser also freed the Fentons, who turned out to have even more weapons built into their suits.
Somehow.
Despite them being skintight.
That had been a pain, but Red Robin was able to hack the system using one of the couples’ own devices while Hood dodged - and kept the stray fire away from the others - leaving everyone else to recapture the pair. A blessedly simple task once they found out the lasers would splash harmlessly off of their armor (save for a gross film of green goop left wherever they grazed).
They take turns knocking each unconscious to change them in order to properly disarm them - Batman and Nightwing taking Jack first, followed by Orphan and Spoiler dealing with Maddie.
The only non-weapon laden clothing they own turns out to be pajamas.
This is around when the police show up, looking hesitant.
They, too, cite the “Anti-Ecto Acts.”
Oracle had debriefed them on the supposed Acts and “Ghost Investigation Ward” on their short drive over. Both were utterly bogus - the Acts had never even been proposed, let alone been approved as law, and the so-called “GIW” had no ties to the government.
The Fentons had been furious and denied the information intensely when told, but the cops mostly just looked relieved.
Apparently there’d been a lot of property damage by the GIW and Fentons both that had supposedly been dismissed under the Acts as “necessary in the pursuit of ecto-scum.”
For the Fentons, half of this damage was in the form of broken fire hydrants, cracked sidewalks, and totaled cars - they’d never been good drivers, before, the cops disclosed, but they’d become even more negligent since the ghosts began appearing, to the point they had to have a news segment warning when they would be on the road.
The lack of fatalities thus far had been nothing short of a miracle, they claimed.
“Of course there haven’t been any fatalities!” Mrs Fenton defends. “Our work is to protect people from those things, not make more! Officers, listen to reason-” Hood snorts disdainfully -”The Red Hood is clearly a ghost! All our systems targeted him the moment they came online - and they only target ecto-entities. He’s clearly taken these heroes under his sway - why else would they be working with a murderer!? You have to do something before he starts up his killing here in Amity!”
The officers look at him a bit hesitantly, but Batman is unmoved and gives the cover story Hood had outlined back in the alley.
Any concerns the locals have are quickly assuaged.
But for the whole explanation, Jason is trying not to shake even as he falls apart in place.
Their little website called them ghost-hunters, making it pretty clear what “ecto-entities” meant.
Their system supposedly only targets ecto-entities.
The system had only targeted him.
The system only targets ghosts.
Jason had died.
A lot of his family members had died, too, granted.
But Jason was the only one who seemed to come back wrong - anger sticking in his throat and never quite fading, an inclination towards violence even when he wasn’t angry well beyond what he’d ever felt before, and a sea of other emotions (that he would never acknowledge aloud) and triggers for those emotions that he always struggled to make heads or tails of.
He doesn’t have the meta gene. He knows that. He knew that.
He just assumed that the test missed it, because he knows he doesn’t know magic - the All Blades being the only exception - and he couldn’t think of another explanation at the time.
But he came back wrong.
And as he stands there, he wonders if he came back at all, mind on Solomon Grundy.
Wonders if he isn’t just some ghost, wandering around possessing his own corpse.
He jolts, as the thought strikes him: what about Danny?
If he’s a ghost and chirping is a ghost thing then what about his KID!?
Absently, he notes that Bruce has started interrogating the cops on what they meant by “ghost attacks.”
He ignores the discussion, hustling for the door in the kitchen down to the lab.
He slams and locks the door behind him - in Red Robin’s face - as he descends, making a b-line for the computer he’d seen when the Fentons had dragged them all down there to start bragging about their crimes.
The only thing Oracle could get out of the whole building was things that were openly available online; direct connections were impossible.
Opening up the screen, he gets to cracking.
Going for the surface level files first, it turns out he doesn’t even need so much as a password to find what he wants.
One of the video game sub-files has an unrelated file in it: ghost notes.
There are plenty of other notes, of course, but he’d only been skimming to start, looking for anything hidden.
The Fenton parents were too open to bother, of course, with plenty of more obvious files strewn haphazardly across the home screen, but it’s always better to check. That there is a hidden file means it was likely made by either Danny or Jazz.
And it’s a treasure trove.
Sub-files for rogues, allies, conditional allies, and “halfas” were what greeted him.
The last being the only term he didn’t recognize, he clicked.
6 files: Clones, Danny, Dani, Dan, Vlad, and Red Hood.
He clicks his own file.
What greets him is a picture of himself 4 days ago, looking just to the left of the lens in an alley that he distinctly remembers searching for the kid in.
Just below is text.
~~~
??? Name: Red Hood
Species: probably a halfa
Status: Nnnneutral? I think? I know, I know, heads in bags. But Valerie tries to kill me all the time! And we’re allies sometimes! Hood- uh- looked for me? Okay I guess I can’t really judge this yet but please read the first met section before you judge please you guys?
First met: Aug 17, 2005, was in Gotham to bother Batman, stopped to think a bit on some fire escape - decide on the first prank yknow - but then my ghost sense went off. It felt like a halfa so I thought “oh cool, must be Dani” so I chirped, but then Red Hood - who was chasing some guy down an alley at the time - froze and looked around. I dropped visibility and chirped again and yeah, he definitely heard it. Humans can’t so he’s definitely a halfa - no glow so he can’t be a full ghost and it felt nothing like an overshadowing.
Ended up following Hood around the rest of week - forgot to prank Batman, damn - and playing hide-and-seek with the chirps. It was really funny. But he very obviously doesn’t know he’s a halfa. But the guy is, like, scary levels of smart, so I’m sure he’ll figure it out on his own now that the chirp thing made it clear that something is up. Hopefully.
I figure I can go back in winter break - he should have it figured out and let his emotions process enough by then to at least hear me out when I explain the AEA and GIW and everything, then it won’t matter so much if he can, like, track me by voice or something if I talk since we’ll have MAD by then.
Despite his reputation, the people living in his haunt seem to love the guy. I can see why. On top of the whole smart he’s actually really nice to people he’s not shooting in the knees (which only even happened one time in the week I was there? It was actually pretty relaxing - most quiet week I’ve had since the portal opened THANK YOU TUCKER for hacking the portal hatch to be inoperable for a week).
Where was I? Oh yeah, he’s actually surprisingly nice to people? So like, I think he’ll probably hear me out if I go back and be polite? I hope. Hate to leave the guy in the dark and him end up on the GIWs dissection table for “lots and lots of painful experiments.”
Not that those guys could even catch the Box Ghost. But uh, Hood doesn’t seem to have powers either? Or if he does he doesn’t know about them I don’t think - he only used the chirp the whole time I was their - not even to cheat with moving around.
Seriously. That guy's acrobatics could make Freakshow’s contortionist green - er, red??? - with envy. Actually wait, aren’t contortionists and acrobats different things?
SAM NOTE: help^?
Powers:
?
~~~
Jason leans back, breathing deeply.
“Not a full ghost,” “not 'overshadowed'” - a term that sounds likke some kind of cousin to possesision - “definitely a halfa,” “humans can’t hear chirps.”
Halfa.
Half.
Ghost.
Half Ghost.
It should sound absurd - you can’t be half alive and half dead.
But Jason has seen the Lazarus pits, has met Solomon Grundy, has met aliens and bullshit magic and can pull magical swords out of his own damn chest.
Half alive. Half dead.
Hopefully not just a fancy way to say possessing his own corpse.
He doesn’t have time to deal with every file - he’ll “confiscate” one of their USBs with a copy of everything for himself before leaving the rest to Batman & co, of course, minus the halfa files (a small part of him wants to shove his condition in Bruce’s face and demand he kill the clown again even though he knows it’s a futile hope, but the rest - the same part that snapped and denied and refused to say he was a meta less that a day ago now - cannot stomach the thought of even more rejection. Of a Bruce that believes he’s a monster. Of a Bruce that mourns him even while he’s right there. Or at least, more than he already does.) - but while the files copy he take the time to look at Danny’s.
The image has two people, Danny Fenton on one side and a version of the kid in a black hazmat suit with white hair, tanned skin, and painfully familiar green eyes. And floating.
~~~
Human Name: Danny Fenton
Ghost Name: Danny Phantom
Species: Halfa (half-human, half ghost)
~~~
It’s the section after that that makes Jason’s breath catch in his throat.
~~~
Death: The Portal Accident
So like, there was no audio (thank GOD I do not want to hear myself screaming) so. Details: When the portal didn’t work when they plugged it in mom and dad left for fudge, Jazz went to try and talk them into a more realistic career choice than ghosts. Sam and Tucker came over and Sam dared me to climb in and check it out - it was broken anyway so no harm. Except it wasn’t broken, just that my parents put the on button inside. Which I caught myself on when I tripped on a wire.
Anyway, electrocution!
(T - Danny for the love of god be more serious, the cheerful tone is creepy)
(D - Hey! I’m the one who died! Shouldn’t I at least get to write my own epitaph)
(S - …Danny this is not an epitaph. You don’t even HAVE a grave)
(D - wow way to rub it in Sam)
(T - yeah Sam)
(S - ugh! Whatever, just stop with the chatting in official files)
(T - “official”)
(S - Tucker.)
(T - shutting up now)
Electrocution! I got zapped to death, but the ectoplasm from the portal was also opening up on top of me and a lot got bonded to me I guess (S - probably because of the electricity with how you ended up with some of Vortex' powers for a little while) at the same time said electricity was reviving me? - probably getting my heart beating again or something, I was a little busy screaming to pay attention (T - yeah okay we're going to Nasty Burger after this. And playing Doomed) - not that it would’ve mattered without the ghostification preventing me from melting me all the way to death.
Status: Me!
Powers:
Chirps! (ghost echolocation of some kind! humans can't hear em - halfas can, of course, in either form)
Form Change (really Sam? This barely counts)
Human form
Ghost form (no need to breathe)
Flight (last clock speed 210mph) (T - and climbing. Dang dude)
Invisibility (S - don’t forget shareable.) (Shareable. sigh)
Intangibility (Shareable)
Ecto Rays (eyes & hands) (T - and butt) (D - dude! I’m deleting that. Tucker why can't I delete it. TUCKER) (T - bow down in awe of my ksill) (S - ksill) (D - ksill) (T - yeah okay it’s permanent now) (D - aw man!)
Ghost Sense (S - why do we never test your range?) (D - no need? They always make themselves obvious or are being sneaky specifically to annoy me so *shrug*) (S - I still think we should test it)
Power Absorption (that time with Vortex’s weather powers)
Cryokinesis (Wayyyyy to much ice. NOT testing max output on that) (T - yeah frozen city was enough, let’s not cause an ice age. Tech needs some cool but too much is still bad and I just upgraded Patricia)
Ghostly Wail (cone of destruction, very exhausting - always at max output. Not to be used)
GHOST FORM ONLY (but really just never)
Cartoon Body (D - what???) (S - Freakshow literally turned you into a puddle and you just turned back and were fine. I don’t know what else to call that) (D - okay fair. but:)
GHOST FORM ONLY
Physical Enhancement (better strength, speed, stamina, durability, reflexes, balance, etc much better than human) (T - why does this look like dnd knockoff stats haha)
GHOST FORM ONLY (S - obviously mr last place in PE)
Resistances (pretty solid on the overshadowing, avoided being taken in by Ember until targeted, didn’t get turned to stone during the Medusa thing) (S - which was pure luck! Be careful!)
Ecto Electricity (ghost stinger, but I really don’t think this counts Sam. I mean I just. Make my ecto zappy. But it’s still just ecto) (S - so is your ICE and you don’t just call that "just cold ecto") (D - fine, but it feels overly specific) (S - maybe writing it all down will make you stop. Forgetting. POWERS!) (D - come on Sam that was a lucky hit! I was distracted! And it turned out fine!) (S - Fenton…) (D - oop okay doing fire now)
Ecto Fire (made Dash’s shoes melty that one time by make the ecto hot) (T - really needs more testing)
Tech possession (chasing Technus into computers, not very tested)
Ghost form only, i guess?
Overshadowing (control people, copy their voice, invade dreams - the control one erases the person’s memory so they don’t know they were overshadowed just lost time. I hate Walker. SO much) (T - rip Danny’s reputation, you’ll be missed)
Probably ghost form only
Duplication (T - That’s optimistic) (D - I’M WORKING ON IT OKAY!?) (S - pretty sure it just falls under cartoon body until you can actually separate) (D - :( betrayal)
Probably ghost form only
More? (D - ugh I hope not) (T - hey don’t say that, maybe you’ll get a power to make the JL give a crap about Amity) (D - honestly I’m getting pretty close to letting Boxy loose in Gotham) (S - Danny, don’t stoop to their level!) (D - it's only box ghost!) (T - I mean he has a point)
~~~
Jason changes his mind, seeing the commentary, and deletes the entire hidden file from the computer as soon as his copy is made. He can go over everything and bring any important info to Bruce separately, the bat’s can just chew on the parents’ files for now.
Once the original files are thoroughly and irretrievably removed he pockets his shiny new USB, makes a second one with all the official files, and heads back up and out - carelessly brushing past a thoroughly irate Red Robin with a pair of firemen and broken jaws of life. And not a scratch on the door; impressive - just in time to get Oracle’s text that he’s got 2 hours and 16 minutes to be at the location on his HUD so he can “arrive” to Amity.
And a fresh set of civilian clothes will be waiting in the plane, Alfred as reliable as ever.
“Files,” he says, tossing the safe USB to Batman and interrupting his interrogation of the police officer.
He catches it effortlessly of course, but the officer stops paying attention to him to jolt at Hood’s reappearance - even outside of Gotham his reputation is fierce.
“I sent a copy to myself. I’ll review them and give you an overview, but other than that consider this the end of my involvement in this little shitshow,” he says, continuing smoothly to the door. “I’m heading back to Gotham.”
Now, he has a little over two hours before Jason Todd needs to arrive in Amity Park. He only needs to lay hands on a laptop that he can isolate from Babs’ influence and he should be able to review the Halfa files in full before he "lands" - after he figures out just why the kid has a grudge against the JL.
#The defenses only attacked jason because the others are liminal#But not quite liminal enough for the Fenton House to pick up on#He’s the only one who died and had it really *stick* thus why he’s the only halfa#Sure the others died but they were all revived fully#Death left a stain#Not a chain#Jason has one foot in the grave#The others bat’s just have some graveyard dirt smudged on their pants cuffs#I can keep going with the metaphors#lol#Anyway#Their contamination is. Like. not worse than the average person living on the opposite side of the city as the Fentons#(which is a lot compared to everyone else in the whole world#but not much in terms of “will the house shoot me”#Fenton ghost detecting devices aren’t that precise yet)#The “files” aren’t super professional because like. They’re 14.#It’s organized sure but it’s not gonna be scientific paper levels (& they’d feel uncomfy making it too scientific sounding)#There’s powers missing on purpose (not thinking of thing as a power. All 3 forgot about it. Etc)#So why did the JL ignore Amity you ask?#Info blackout#One does not simply ignore the Meta Protection Acts and pretend to be a gov’t agency without taking precautions#Everything out of Amity Park is sanitized as hell. (ha#and doesn’t that just fit the GIW clean-obsession)#“But Mutable!” I hear you cry “What about Undergrowth & Vortex!”#I don’t remember Undergrowth’s radius of effect but I’m saying my AU he was Amity-only and the GIW set up a blockade to intimidate witnesse#Same deal with Pariah town-knapping the place (GIW base was JUST out of the town-knapping radius. Lucky them)#As for Vortex#the storms themselves made it impossible to track anything through normal means#(ie no cams caught Sam & Tucker’s jet taunting Vortex except some people with cells on the street. But wind killed all the audio)#So as far as the world is concerned there was a freak storm and it went away
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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I can be soooo normal about barely concealed suicides. When you make a decision knowing it will lead to your death, but to anyone else it might look like a mistake. When you throw yourself into dangerous situations and don't care if you come out the other side. Maybe you want to die but not enough to take your own life. Maybe you're not brave enough, or too ashamed. Idk whatever the reason I eat that shit UP
#thinking about estraven :(#tbh genly being the only person alive who knew estraven well enough in his final moments to understand that it was a suicide.. ough#what a terrible burden to bear#but also thinking about that weird pattern in especially older literature where women commit suicide but men go to battle knowing theyll di#like tjats suicide. my friend you just committed suicide#but its interesting how both are expressions of total hopelessness even while one /suggests/ hopefulness#fighting against all odds? isnt that the definition of hope? not if you dont really believe it.#not if you tell the audience that youre going to die before you do so#and in having male characters kill themselves through battle it becomes an act of heroism rather than defeat#the left hand of darkness
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playing LJ and idk what’s in the japanese water but Yagami is INSUFFERABLE!!!
He’s so fucking annoying his only argument is “muhhh sawa sensei” when Kuwana, Reiko or Ehara say the horrible things their kids endured like SHUT UP!!!! Reiko and Ehara’s children killed themselves bc they were bullied, I understand and support them fully for getting revenge, especially since the justice system is shitty when it comes to such cases
Did you feel the same or am I tripping?
putting this under the cut
sorry i know you sent this days ago and maybe your opinion has changed since then but i'll answer the best i can? (also i hope i don't accidentally spoil anything ahahah)
this take is not uncommon (and i felt the same at some point, though i've since changed my mind) so no, you're not tripping lmao. despite changing my mind, the fact that people say this pretty regularly probably means the writers didn't execute the idea as well as they could have. i would say that it feels clumsy and almost like a joke (cue sawa-sensei counter) to the point that it detracts from the point they're trying to make. i think some people will disagree with me on this -- rather than the writers, it's the players who aren't fully understanding what's being said to them in the text -- but regardless of whose "fault" that is, yes it's a Known Thing
(funnily enough, during my first playthrough, my sister mentioned seeing a meme about "sawa sensei" getting repeated a lot, and by the time the 2nd/3rd time hit we were like OH MY GOD THE MEME WAS REAL. which is a funny memory to me. lmao)
i think the thing that's getting lost here is that the "sawa sensei" argument is not meant to discredit how kuwana, reiko and ehara feel about the injustice. this part is not in question. yagami's stance on doing illegal shit is also not relevant to this conversation (and i'm not sure i could provide a compelling argument on this front anyway, aside from that he's very anti-murder, lol. clearly he does illegal shit himself so he's not against doing illegal shit based on principle alone. depends on circumstances probably)
sawa gets brought up because she clearly did not deserve to die. almost everyone agrees that sawa was a good person. kuwana puts her on a pedestal for confronting him about kusumoto being bullied, idealises her and muses that she would've understood him for what he's doing (killing people. and this is clearly a stretch). reiko says that sawa was the only person who visited kusumoto in hospital without an ulterior motive, which is one of the best testaments of character that she could give, really, imo. ehara probably holds a negative opinion of sawa for her false testimony about there being no evidence of bullying -- but this was clearly done under pressure of the people around her, and ehara's opinion is the exception to the rule.
so, sawa is a good person. so what? who cares? what's the point of bringing her up?
the point of what kuwana is doing is that he sees it as a way of righting the wrongs that the justice system leaves unaddressed. he needs to believe that what he is doing is right, because it gives him purpose and distracts him from his guilt.
sawa's death contradicts this. even if he and reiko didn't kill her themselves, it's proof that their extreme actions have negative consequences. they can say that the system is wrong, look what this monster did to my son, etc etc. but what they are doing also harms innocent people. the justice/revenge/whatever they pursue is at the cost of other innocent people. sawa herself represents the unforeseen cost of kuwana's self-imposed mission to kill bullies. they can justify themselves all they want, but sawa's death is a reality they can't talk around. they acknowledge she was a good person, but she died because of their actions. is this a worthwhile cost? yagami doesn't think so.
and the thing is, kuwana and reiko can be persuaded.
at least, that's kuwana's opinion about reiko
and later he says this about himself.
these screenshots are pulled from a youtube video w/ english dub so take it with a grain of salt, but you get what i'm trying to say here.
i think the repetition is the point. they agree sawa was a good person. they can be persuaded away from their current stance (that murder is an acceptable response). by repeating himself, yagami is using the argument that's most personal to them, mostly likely to convince them. repetition is not a bug, it's a feature. whether or not this was conveyed well by the writers is another argument altogether, but yagami's point itself is sound.
truthfully, i think LJ could have benefitted by leaning into what makes this case personally compelling to yagami. if you're not paying attention, the "but sawa sensei" argument can feel pretty flat, but putting emphasis on yagami's experiences would help it feel more rich and justified aside from "innocent people dying is bad" (even though that is a sound argument on its own). he does mention emi, i believe it's only once, so it's not like they don't do it at all, but i would like more. the impact of emi and of JE specifically is that yagami doesn't like to leave things unaddressed when he can do more, and that's clearly a motivating factor here. he won't leave kuwana alone for as long as there is 1. something yagami can do about it and 2. kuwana still intends to keep killing
think about the fact that yagami's parents were killed by someone seeing vigilante revenge, both a deeply personal tragedy, and a life defining event that set him on the path he walks now. leaning more into that would have helped, or at least been interesting, in my opinion. obviously it's not 100% the same since yagami's father was the lawyer and not the accused, but the key parts (vigilante justice + collateral damage) is there. of course yagami is trying to change kuwana's mind. not only does yagami understand kuwana's pain wrt the pain of inaction (yagami's regrets about emi) but he's experienced the aftermath of collateral damage, himself.
of course, yagami's personal experiences are only relevant to us, as viewers. sawa is still the best argument to convince kuwana and reiko (and i can easily imagine reiko brushing yagami off if he talked about his backstory LMAO), so that's what we get. sawa is what matters to them, so sawa is what he will keep reminding them of. that's why the sawa argument is what it is.
we can get into discussions about the inevitable failure of the legal system and what that means for "real justice", but we would never come to a consensus. instead, i think it's better to look at how kuwana and reiko are impacted on a personal level by their actions: neither of them have moved on, even after seeking their justice. they remain stuck in the past. their actions grant them no closure, and robs them of a future (reiko as a politician and mother, kuwana as a humble handyman: but as far as we know, a pretty damn good one considering how well he was able to leverage his connections to avoid being caught this whole time... at least in my opinion)
when kuwana argues, he asks how they should seek justice if legal avenues don't grant it to them. he asks, "what about the reiko kusumotos and akihiko eharas of the world?" he is right to point this out.
when yagami argues, he asks how revenge can be justified if innocents will suffer (and die) for it, even unintentionally. he asks, "what about the yoko sawas of the world?" he is also right to point this out.
there is no easy solution. they both have a point. that's what the story is ultimately about. kaito says it straight up at the end of the game:
well, that's my take. admittedly i'm not as well versed on LJ as some people are, so i could be remembering and paraphrasing some things wrong. i've seen people who really like LJ's writing, and others who straight up hate it LMAO, so yknow, your mileage may vary. hopefully this will at least help you understand the other perspective
if you want to hear another take on the sawa sensei argument, i'll put this here. i drew on it quite a bit while writing this, so yknow, credit where credit is due.
#jitxt#long post#coincidentally the tags are also long 😇#sorry for being a yagami apologist /jk#and sorry for putting a million disclaimers and “maybe”s and “imo”s. i don't like having opinions on the internet#<- girl who is about to have some more#this is probably the most i've talked about reiko or ehara ever. that's a new one#and i didn't even mention kuwagami once! herculean achievement for The Kuwagami Poster#but linking a passthroughtime post? of course jichan you couldn't help yourself#the biggest trick LJ did on its players is pretending this game is about the legal system#which it kind of is but not in the way people think it is#kuwana's alternative straight up doesn't work. he says he wants to stop bullying but#there is no way his actions are having a preventative effect on bullying at all. the game tells us this early by showing us bullying.#if you engage with kuwana's actions by discussing if they are/aren't a legitimate alternative to the justice system#then you have already lost to the writer's mindgames /jk#he does this for personal satisfaction. or at least to keep the demons at bay. not that he doesn't believe in his justifications too but#this is a personal story first and foremost#however i DO think this game is about punitive vs rehabilitative justice to some extent#yagami's intervention leading to the school bullies becoming people who stop bullying themselves is an example of this#but even if offenders don't rehabilitate do they deserve to die? that's the more loaded question#or maybe it's not about deserving - but instead about if focusing on punishment is more fruitful than prevention#kuwana's killings always happen AFTER. AFTER someone dies. AFTER legal systems fail.#yagami helping with 1 bullying case probably helped kids more than the 7 killings kuwana committed. it had a more real tangible impact.#..........wow that's kinda fucked when you think about it
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River and Louisa's friendship is actually so important to me
#they're coworkers#they both never take care of themselves but will go out of there way to take care of others#they started out reluctantly tolerating each other but with a vague sense of comradery#they're both lost people#and they have each others backs#they are the person the other can rely on#at the end of season 2 i think when they were leaving their little memorium for Min#and he slung hsi arm over her shoulders leaned in and kissed her head?#i nearly died it was so sweet#he really put her through the ringer letting everyone think he was dead though#but yeah idk just them#river and louisa the biggest platonic ship ive ever had in my life#slow horses#just binge watched the whole series in the past few days#cant wait for the next season lol#kinda sad they killed of river's only surviving brother tbh#wouldve been cool to have an evil brother whos jsut kidna out there#I meant theyve both lost people not they’re but you know what?#that works too
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We are all afraid of something...
I wonder what Prince Gumball's biggest fear would be?
There's an episode (Five short tables I think) where it shows that he's afraid of dying alone/his own mortality to some extent. I imagine that because he's long-lived and most likely has watched many people die before him, he's scared that there won't be anyone else by *his* side when it's his turn. There's no way of knowing when or how, he wouldn't be ready for it, so that's probably double scarier for him. He's an anxious fella
#tag rambling MMMMM MY FAVORITE#this made me think if Gumball is actually just long-lived or if he'd become something like the Mother Gum after enough centuries have passed#triple scary then because other than Neddy(Nelly?) he's the only gum humanoid in Ooo that we're aware of#so what if the deal with the Mother Gum is like... She releases this tiny gum things (or they're released by themselves) into the wild#and good luck baby you better survive if you want our species to continue existing 😄#He and Nelly survived but what if he dies before reaching a Mother Gum-state. and alone on top of that bc that must be a scary process#And if he dies then that means Nelly is alone. and probably would go through that alone too#I think he's also scared of not having anyone to take care of everything he left behind if he dies#and to reassure his people and loved ones that everything will be fine despite his absence#now I'm thinking about the way i portray him because I make it sound like he's “unworried” about his own life & wellbeing#he gets stabbed and he's just like “it's okay don't worry about it” BUT what if he does worry and like..#he knows it won't kill him so he doesn't panic but he might panic if he realizes that he got stabbed a little too close to a vital spot#but at the same time he won't if there's someone else with him because if he panics they'll panic and everyone panics#and he needs to be the bigger person at all times and and#does this make sense or am i just yapping#anyway I love you Gumball i just threw my English out the window to talk about your issues with death 🫶#fionna and cake#prince gumball
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John is so capable of violence, has seen and endured and caused so much violence, has learned so well how to hurt. He has rage inside of him. Against abusers. Against himself.
But he is still so gentle and nice and comforting and he smiles and the numbers hug him and he tells Megan with tears in his eyes how you lose a part of yourself when you kill someone. He wants to help.
And. He wants to die but then. Why not live to help people. Then. Why not live because it's nice.
#i lovelovelove the superposition of violence and gentleness in him waow#anyway. wheres that post i wrote about poi being about not being defined by your past and doing what you can is enough etc etc#also idk im just veryyy not normal about john being suicidal and then less suicidal#i didnt like his death#like beyond my fav character died idk it rubs me the wrong way that he was suicidal then crawled out of si to just pretty much kill himself#not that im against stories of suicidal characters killing themselves. (just tired of non suicidal ppl writing dumb shit ig)#but idk. for him to end like this when i feel like hed have at most passive si#i dont like the idea of framing his death as a sacrifice. as smth he wanted and was “meant to be”.#i understand he wanted to save harold and i know how he gets when harold is in danger but it felt like he threw his life away too easily#i just wanted to see him get out of his suicidal/self sacrificing ways. save harold and save himself as well#anyway my john is antisuicidist and goes to alt2su meetings ok bye#like the way he helps homeless people bc he knows what its like. he goes there when he has peaks of si but also to help people#johns sidequest of dealing with chronic si and learning about suicidism and peer support gjdjzjffj#wasnt planning on rambling in tags but anyway im normal now 👍#person of interest#john reese#tw suicide#nourann.txt
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they should invent a device that instantly subtracts a decade from a person's life every time they make a rude comment about another person's body and/or promote diet culture. and it should hurt more than childbirth.
#i just saw a video of a person showing what their body looked like#when they were going to the gym regularly and eating intuitively#and almost all the comments were telling the person that they should clearly be eating less since they weren't thin#and the ONLY reason i don't wish death upon those commenters#is because i know they probably have loved ones who would be sad if they died#i think if you choose to spend your life bringing that kind of pain into the world#and very likely causing others to self-harm or kill themselves#your existence almost definitely does more harm than good overall#and the world would be better off if you had never been born
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I'm sorry but if you, as my friend, introduce me to one of your other friends and then your other friend tries to kill me and ends up killed by me, to avoid me being killed by them... I have not wronged you. If anything you have wronged me by introducing me to someone who tried to kill me.
Especially if you insisted it was a misunderstanding after having to stop them twice and then continued to push for reconciliation, between the two of us in private no less, without even acknowledging the possibility of a third time happening while your other friend is literally screaming about how they will definitely be attempting to do it a third time. Please don't be coming to me years later like "why didn't you say something I could've helped" because like. Seriously? Are you serious?
#and if this was something that made you turn against me#turn your sword against me#I'd lose my shit before it got that far#JGY you are a better person than me#this isn't even a dig at lan xichen tbh#just at the argument that JGY mistreated LXC#because he killed NMJ#which like.#NO#honestly also arguments that he mistreated NHS by killing NMJ#like NHS and LXC can be hurt and upset that NMJ died#but that's on NMJ not whoever happened to be defending themselves from NMJ's ongoing murderous rage self-destruction#JGY didn't hurt them any more than anyone acting in self-defense “hurts” their would be killer's loved ones#pro jgy#very pro jgy#nmj critical#nie critical
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I'm just spending this fine Thursday evening thinking about how I always see childfree memes about how nice it is to have extra money to yourself to travel and pursue hobbies and have nice things and how I live paycheck to paycheck often not having enough to cover my bills on time but at least I'm not paying for child related expenses on my paycheck which led to me thinking about how my sister told me my mom and dad got married because my mom wanted kids despite the fact they didn't love each other and apparently planned to have kids on purpose despite the fact they were poor and had only recently gotten sober (they met in aa lmao) and you know those families that can't provide financially for their children but love them to death and are emotionally there we weren't one of them so they just emotionally and physically abused me and my sister to the point we haven't talked in 3 months and I've only seen them 3 times in 9 years and what was the reason you wanted kids and couldn't provide anything for them I remember watching a tyler perry movie with my mom once and a character was talking about how how she was molested by her mom's boyfriend and my mom turned to us and said see some mom's are a lot worse like not allowing your children to be raped is not a flex I know it sounds like I'm coming down hard on my mom but long term followers also know I have smoke for my father this just isn't a post about him for once
#also I wasn't molested but I had a cousin say he wanted to rape me in the ass but he died so now I'm not allowed to tell anyone but y'all#lmao but the situation is not funny#don't mind me I'm just having a mental breakdown I could have avoided if I went to bed when I was sleepy#I'm literally professionally diagnosed pysch ward shorty traumatized#remembering the nurse that shamed me for going back to the pysch ward a year later the second time I was going to kill myself#because one why would you say that to someone in the er that was going to kill themselves#because that's exactly what my mother would have said to me if she knew#I should have did it#maybe if I did it big like jumped off a bridge and they wrote about how nice of a person I am she would have fet bad#I don't want to just die I want someone how treated horrible to for once feel bad about it#what is it about me that makes other people bring me down to this place where I feel like I'm unworthy of basic human kindness#like I'm less of a person#can some just tell me they love me like not romantically just like I'm a person that can be loved as friend and a daughter and a person#what was the reason what did you gain#actually cptsd#cptsd#rape tw ///#suicide tw ///#rants#stream of consciousness
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