#then see if you can go back to sleep
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I ate half a serving of some really really good pesto pasta in the evening. Just rocketed out of bed at 3 AM after an hour or so of intense rounds of pain and Iām not going to go into details but holy shit I wish I never ate more than a couple bites of it and just brought a smoothie or soup to the restaraunt instead this is AWFUL. Literally hauled myself into the bathtub with warm water just to breathe.
#will I take a sick day at work#probably not because I really need to hear those meeting discussions this week#will I have a carousel of unpredictable symptoms the rest of the night? possibly#oh my god. oh my god.#it was the best pesto pasta I ever had. itās becoming the worst pesto pasta Iāve ever had. I am so sad#me: DO I HAVE FOOD POISONING????#also me: has a known GI condition that is the much more Occamās razor answer to what caused this situation#and yet somehow still me: DO I SUDDENLY HAVE LACTOSE INTOLERANCE???#girl. itās 4 am. meditate yourself to fucking chill in this bathtub.#then see if you can go back to sleep#anyway. lessons are being learned#I donāt have any idea what happened but it was sooooooooooo rich and Iām guessing it was too much fat or too much fiber or both#brb about to look up almond and pesto sauce nutrition labels#health#future me I hope this never happens to you again#gastroparesis#if Iām taking a warm bath in the middle of my worst POTS flare since 2017-2018#you know how bad I must feel to make that worth it lol
13 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Good morning, Sleepyhead.
[First]Ā PrevĀ <ā-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid.#The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier.#We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them!#Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)...#The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too.#The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed.#We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now.#It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud.#For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him.#It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes.#But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart:#It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it.#What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end.#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.#Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt.#Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this:#You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that.#Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.
1K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
More dude and bruh texts
#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Cross Sans#Epic Sans#Kross ship#Kinda? Implied maybe?#These two share a bed regardless of relationship. I've just decided#Maybe implied krepic? Because Wick is in my head lol#Epic's collection of pictures of Killer sleeping on Cross grows#He has a whole album on his phone and if Cross knew he would probably combust#Anyway I woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep and my brain would NOT let go of this idea#Drawing this like I'm exorcising the thought out of my head lol#Epic doesn't wanna sleep because nightmares but he does wanna use his bro like a bodypillow real quick#Killer's doing it like every night he must be missing something#Speaking of. Nightmare did see and he does not care#He thinks nothing of sharing a bed because they all do it constantly so this must be normal#His reaction was ''oh good you can wake Killer and tell him too''#And assumes the immense embarrassment coming off Cross is cause he got caught sleeping#TW suicide#Cross is just being dramatic but y'know just to be safe#This is the 3rd thing I've started drawing that involves Killer and Cross and cuddling#I need to finish and post the other two still but this is becoming a pattern lol#Anyway I have to do a shot of cold medicine and go be at work š
139 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
You've never done that when I got close to you before. Why? None of your business. Tell me, or you can't leave.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 10
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#uservid#userspring#userrain#pdribs#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#every time i color this scene i get stronger. anyway there were so many expressions i just couldnt leave out. the deep breath ai di takes#steeling himself before admitting it. & the way chen yi absorbs it the way he blinks away & his mouth opens before focusing on ai di again#thinking about it. thinking about four years of attacks ai di had to withstand. understanding the way he is now but hating how its happened#and also the guilt hes gotta feel from that! & yet thats overcome in this moment by a need to not let ai di put a wall between them#which is what ai di keeps trying to do. he admits a vulnerable thing and then deflects FOUR TIMES in this scene. first when sleeping#& choking chen yi when woken(& avoiding when questioned abt it). second by dropping his guard & worrying when he finds chen yi injured#& twice more shown in this set. he has to shake it off he has to put his wall back up but his instincts are strongest & chen yi SEES them.#you can see the way ai di wants to relax into that hug. the way he just wants to BREATHE but instead uses those breaths to defend himself#he chooses to flirt hoping it'll make chen yi back off. hoping he'll stop asking him to be vulnerable. but chen yi knows his tricks now.#and hes not going to let ai di continue believing he doesnt CARE about him. its poetic the way he gives him a taste of his own medicine#like it's *strategic*. he watches and learns. he knows his own influence over ai di he knows that HE is ai di's weakness. it's..chef's kiss
149 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I absolutely HAD to draw something for @phoebepheebsphibs's DTIYS (based on this pose)! I decided to mix things up a bit by experimenting with a more limited color palette, which was a pretty fun challenge.
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#pheebsdtiys#art#my art#my post#tmnt#alt text#dtiys#mikey#uify#until I found you#I don't actually know how clothing folds work#my āmethodā is throwing a bunch of stuff against the wall and seeing what sticks#which is basically my method for drawing in general I guess#trial and error#but I've definitely improved since I started so I guess it works right?#anyways#it's like 5am as I'm drafting this post#just finished feeding my daughter and waiting for her to fall asleep before I go back to bed#perfect time to draft a post and ramble in the tags right?#my schedule has gotten so weird with a newborn#but I make time for drawing turtles where I can#saw this dtiys and knew immediately that I had to do it#stayed up way too late doing it probably#but those 2-3 hour intervals where she's sleeping are a good chunk of my free time nowadays#and I am more than happy to spend them drawing uify mikey
198 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Oh to be a digital Siffrin keychain spinning endlessly in space for my amusement
#notes on this one: changed the lighting and reflectiveness of the actual cut out images#Also the plastic/epoxy material for the edges was not true glass/I have no fucking idea how to change it to be see through#yes I set the roughness to 0#so I just shrugged my shoulders turned down the alpha#now there's a new appearance of a mysterious black ball in the reflection#which is weird because there should be no objects in the way of the light(?)#it's a mystery#what would've been cool if I put a loop silhouette#but alas I have work and do not have time(tm)#also had a similar idea for like the stars blinking out#but that means I'd have to change it to an object not world and fiddle with like 5 sets of stars so they go out at different times#it was 2 am and I said fuck it put void sphere and turn the black alpha up and back down#after a certain point you just have to make peace with what you have and hit render so you can sleep#thanks for reading my ramblingsss#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers
156 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent
#xmen#xmen comic#krakoa#cherik#snap chats#until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny#how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind#ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM#i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were#fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something#and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone#and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly#ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious#sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder#and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room#GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom#im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building#obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3#in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral#ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am#im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day
109 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
shit man he's downright POSTITNOTE'D
#ouma kokichi#kokichi oma#drv3#im so tired#good luck with may gamers lets get through it!!!!! (sleepiest voice imaginable)#i got nothhing else to say bye mwa#maiora draws#wait i do actually does anyone wanna see the bleedthrough#questionmark#*spooky bgm* there's a secret forurth kokichi that lives exclusively it the confines of other-side-of-the-page and a layer of varnish ooooo#its SO unimpressive <3 it's just there. buried under inappropriate use of material and postits#truly a nothing burger!!!#he just stares at me when i look throu the book. taunting.#you too can be haunted by the face of 'finish your fucking perspective studies maiora' for the LOW low price of asking nicely!!#as a gift <3#taunted#you get it#im babbling at this point all of this is in the name of a silly goofy time (mine) all is good#im v sleep deprived#i don't actually know english the more i think about it#i need to stop procrastinating im going back to stress time BYE HAVENICEDAY
244 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
šš (mdniš)
#part 3š«¶#and now my degenerate phase is overš#I hope I can post this hereā¦š otherwise Iāll crop & just link to twitterā¦#Iāll go back to cute drawings now sorry if you didnāt want to see theseš#my fic isnāt even explicitā¦so it feels kind of like cheating to do this already#I felt weird drawing them kissing evenš³#anyways Iām just going to post & go to sleepš hope you like this itās a bit different bahahahaahahahahahahahahah#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart#sebastian sallow x mc
97 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I imagine that nanami, out of all the sorcerers ever, is so Normal that it circles back to being crazyā i kept thinking abt how gojo says that "every jujutsu sorcerer is some kind of crazy" and started thinking abt nanami and how much he just yearns for a normal life but cant do that because his sense of justice and fulfillment in sorcery is much too strong for him to be in a normal life and caused him to go back and likeāyeah no i can see nanami having that special type of crazy, that even other sorcerers would claim is weird KJDFGKSR
if the "crazy" people say ur crazy, then babygirl ur a special one šš
cuz i can see him being likeāso dedicated to the idea, that he actually looks fucking nuts abt it. he talks abt his being a sorcerer in terms thatll make you think he's in some kind of freelance work and YEAH SURE HE KIND OF IS I GUESS but also like in vague enough terms that were it not for the fact that the people he usually talks too are sorcerers too, youd think that hes likeāa freelance financial advisor, or a freelance bodyguard or, someone who helps run a martial arts/gym space, or a stunt man trainer/choreographer, or somethingā
likeā"my last job? the client was quite happy with the results, there was minimal damages to the asset i was assigned to take care of, and minimal personnel required. overall, I'd say it was one of my smoother jobs."
and you'd think like "oh okay, he's probably some sort of hired security. maybe he was helping transfer some important item to a storage facility"
and in realityāit was actually a cursed object that started to go fucking haywire and attracting crazy cursed spirits to the area. the client was happy because the windows caught it early before any big damage happened to the areaājust a couple of broken doors and windows, and like 3 destroyed walls which is actually on the LOWER END of collateral damage concerning curses. ESPECIALLY considering that there was such a large number already gathered there. and nanami's a bit of a self sacrificial bastard (beloved), so you bet ur ASS that he took a direct hit, and broke multiple bones and made the executive decision to not get anyone else involved because DAMMIT if he misses an episode of the great british bake off, he doesnt know what he's gonna do. he cant risk extending the mission too much, he cant let prue leith and paul hollywood downā
every single person he's worked with has, at some point in time, wondered why he just hasnt become an assistant manager insteadāthe threat to ur life is SIGNIFICANTLY LESS, and there is some overlap between what he did in his salaryman years and what the managers do. HELL, you can even see him training some of the newer managers (with ijichis approval and permission ofc) (hell sometimes ijichi assigns the newer ones to work with him to secretly give them training) (he always fesses up after the mission tho fdkbjgk)
and then while they're chillin in the breakroom, shooting the shit and drinking coffee, someone mentions his salaryman past. and dear LORD the pure vitriol and venom that started spewing out of his mouth when given the opportunity to shit talk having a regular jobāif he didnt have such good control over his CE, he wouldve spawned a Special Grade from how much he DESPISED his old job JKHFDLKJhgbLS
and considering the similarities between that old job and being a manager, yeah noāeveryone understands why he doesnt become a manager instead LJKSDfhLGJkSDFKLh
#GODDDDDDDDD this is just a cool thing to explore abt his character#i can see him likeācasually sensing a curse at the back of whatever restaurant hes at and like#standing up#quickly exorcising the thing#and then going back to his meal like nothing happened#because nothing will get between him and his goddamn peace alrite LJKFNGLKSJN#i can also see gojo likeāslowly finding him more and more crazy when they get together and time goes on because like#ofc the man would get roped into his domesticity and normalcy like#does not give a shit that gojo is the pillar of sorceryāthe SECOND you step foot into my house we are not doing ANYTHING related to that#the work-life balance is crazy#gojo appreciates it alotāfinally he can get like a full 8 to 10 hours of sleep#just JKHDSFKLgHDK a lot to explore here :33#if you want to elaborate on this you have my blessing :))#wynn's story ideas#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#wynn talks#nanami kento#gojo satoru#jjk headcanons
60 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
ghost stares at the ceiling, chest heaving in a harsh pant; sweat ice on his clammy flesh and soaked into the sheet he restlessly kicks away.
ears still ringing, his fingertips blindly drift down to trail along his vivisection scar. he half-expects blood to smear in their wake. his own line of solomon, who ordered him split in twain; half of him given to a grieving mother and half left with the grieving to be.
just for both his broken halves to be rejected.
what did it make him that his mother grieved him more than she loved him? that she begged to be relieved of him more adamantly than she begged to receive him? why did his worth spill out with his drawn blood? why was his pain lesser than hers?
his hand flexes, digging into the raised scar like itāll part beneath his fingertips to plunge into his mangled insides. no one knows the cruelty of reforming the halved; his name, his being, not nearly as important as his body when he was stripped from himself. no one knows the pain of healing and understanding losing pieces of yourself means losing your value along with them.
how many more pieces did he have to lose before he was halved once more? before his very presence incurred grief so strong it was better to be rid of him than cradle his bloodied remains?
did the infant fight himself? did he age always at odds with himself; his halves never truly whole? he hopes he wasnāt, that he was spared the loss of self; the fear that one may be welcomed over the other.
who will he lose when the inevitable comes? when heās ripped apart again? simon? or ghost? is it better to be cursed with choice just like his mother or live with an aftermath chosen for him? does it matter if in the end, he convinces himself there was nothing of him left to lose?
his head lolls to the side and the wild buck of his chest slows. he watches johnny beside him, his face lax with the rare peace of sleep; his cheek squished against the pillow, his lips pursed as long breaths escape him.
johnny. soap. never torn asunder but two all the same.
he carefully reaches out and ghosts his fingers along the jagged scar on his chin. even in sleep, he presses into his bloodied touch. heās never fled his half-flesh, never shies away from his gore as it spills unbidden from his cleaved torso. he holds on where his mother let him go; cups his stomach to hold his insides in place and never minds the blood that drips through his fingers.
simon will never let him become his own solomon and cannibalise himself. he will never let him question which half of him has more value; which pieces he can afford to lose before heās cast aside.
ghostās soap. simonās johnny. his.
whole, in any incarnation.
#yall know the story of king solomon?#and the two mothers who claim a baby is theirs so he orders the baby cut in half so they can each have half of him?#well guess what woke me up out of a dead sleep and demanded to be written?#anyway roba showing simon clips of his mum on the news begging for the safe return of her boy#for the government to do something; /anything/ please she just wants her son back#just for ghost to dig himself out of simon's coffin and she can't bear to look at the man he's become#he's cold and afraid and hesitant and angry and in pain and so different from her little boy that it's just too difficult for her#he's a living breathing reminder that her simon didn't come back from the desert#and ghost has to live with the knowledge that his mum couldn't love him through anything#that maybe if he got himself out sooner if he was stronger or smarter or a better soldier... if he hadn't let simon die...#maybe he wouldn't have changed so much that she wouldn't look him in the eye and see a stranger#if you know anything about me by now you know i love the separation of the self and the person they become around others or bc of trauma#whether thats hizashi and present mic or simon and ghost its one of my absolute favourite tropes#and simon knowing hes become someone else and going home expecting to still be loved anyway?#just for this new version of himself to be rejected?#thats the moment he fractures into ghost#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#weāre a team. ghost team#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#ghost call of duty#cod mw2#cod mwii#save post
96 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I think that's as close as I'm ever getting to a religious experience
#even after sitting in a crowd of 20k people it still absolutely has not clocked to me that they're that big#but that entire experience was absolutely lovely#going to the tube and seeing a bunch of people wearing merch and actually having a little chat with them was brilliant#because like. you're just like me. we're both going here because we love something#and in very simplistic terms I think that's beautiful#Christ#definitely the best band I've ever seen and I was WAY back#didn't care one bit#seeing Summoning shenanigans in real time?? unreal#seeing ii walk the catwalk???? also unreal#Download is gonna be MAD#sleep token#st#mel's rambles#mel's photos#vessel#vessel sleep token#(you can see five pixels of him if you squint)#teeth of god tour#tog tour
20 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
hope you feel better soon!
I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!
#ask#non mdzs#My health journey has been: Hernia -> acid reflux -> Vocal pain due to aforementioned reflux -> chest infection.#I'm terrified to know what's about to hit me next. Please let it be something kind. PLEASE.#The consequence of living with linguists is that you'll wake up with a wacked up voice -#suddenly you're sitting you down in front of a program called something like Praat having your shimmer and jitter levels calibrated.#They gave me a GRBAS of 33012. I have a fun thing called a pitch break where a whole octave just does not exist.#My vocal pain was bad enough I ended up seeing a speech pathologist and that whole experience was super neat!#I learnt a lot about voice - to be honest I might make a little comic on it after some more research. Fascinating stuff.#For example; your mental perception of our voice modulates the muscles of the vocal folds and larynx.#meaning that when you do have changes (inflammation = more mass = lower frequency)#your brain automatically attempts to correct it to what it 'should sound like'. Leading to a lot more vocal strain and damage!#And it gets really interesting for trans voice care as well - because the mental perception of one's voice isn't based on an existing sampl#So a good chunk of trans voice training is also done with the idea of finding one's voice and retraining the brain to accept it. Neat!#Parkinsonial Voice also has this perception to musculature link! The perception is that they are talking at a loud/normal volume#but the actual voice is quite breathy and weak. So vocal training works on practicing putting more effort into the voice#and retraining the brain to accept the 'loud' voice as 'normal'.#Isn't the human body fascinating?#Anyhow; Now I have vocal exercises and strategies to reduce strain and promote healing.#Which is a lot better than my previous strategy of yelling AAAH in my car until my 'voice smoothed out'.#You can imagine the horror on the speech path's face. I am an informed creature now.#I'm my own little lab rat now. I love learning and researching. Welcome to my tag lab. Class is dismissed.#I'll be back later with a few more answered asks </3 despite everything I'm still going to work and I need the extra sleep.#Thank you for the well wishes! And if you read all of that info dump; thank you for that as well!
430 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
#he doesn't want to fight with you ai di, he wants to Kissššš„ŗ
Nat Chen as CHEN YI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#chen yi x ai di#ai di x chen yi#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userrain#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#okay i made this specifically for the 3rd gif bc chen yi's expressions are making me giggle nonstop i was doubled over in tears last night#HE JUST WANTS TO KISS!! AI DI HE LOVES YOU LET HIM HIT IJDKSKG#okay real talk though the fact that he actually gives ai di space 90% of the time. lets him hang out at the bar#like he isnt following him around or constantly dogging him about giving him an answer not does he ever rly ACCUSE ai di of anything#he uses the zhang teng excuse to keep ai di from avoiding him but he doesnt try to keep him where he can see him constantly.#he lets ai di do his own thing and just spends time connecting the dots during the moments ai di comes back of his OWN VOLITION#& he slowly puts together what ai di is refusing to admit and makes his own intentions known without putting them in words either#besides stating his observations (& watching ai di react). Every interaction between them when ai di gets out of prison is like that#gifs 1&2 vs 4&5... letting ai di pull away because he doesnt know whats going on vs pulling him back both to say hey we arent done-#& say im still here FOR YOU - to see how ai di reacts being so close to chen yi after finding him hugging his jacket in his sleep#and then once hes Figured It Out he still keeps the space!! sends gifts... he only Acts when ai di comes back to him himself!!!!#and this time he's READY. and a simp. like. PLS the last 2 gifs..........dude. he wants to kiss so bad
256 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
It took me like two hours to process that Caleb's description of dunamis actually was somewhat new information and then go back to grab the transcription because, uh, both "form of magic that exists between the fabric of all of forces of power" and "one of the oldest and most fundamental forces" are far more confidently firm descriptions than we ever got in campaign 2.
Was I actually roughly correct about what dunamis was??? HELLO???
VINDICATION?!?!
#like LISTEN it does feel like the obvious conclusion but HELLO??????#CAN WE GO BACK TO THAT???#i am choosing to believe that Caleb is too focused on the world ending to notice Ashton's head but UM. COULD WE DISCUSS THIS?#I'm never gonna be normal again. anyway.#straight up the universe was like 'megs is in hell week. yanno what she needs? motherfucking wizards.'#I'M SO USED TO GIVING AND NOW I GET TO RECEIVE#critical role#cr spoilers#caleb widogast#like yeah yeah i got all overly poetic and flowery about it but like ON A FUNDAMENTAL LEVEL THIS WAS BASICALLY WHAT I MEANT#and tbh i do think you have to veer slightly toward my concept in order to really explain consecution BUT ANYWAY#i need to sleep. i will not get to sleep but. i should try.#anyway glad to see my boi clearly did not have to give up his whole life's work he's doing so well š#hope he is holed up in the Lavorres' spare room until Ludinus is dead š
421 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Cant sleep so im thinking about ayhalo
I think its like. one sided. qaypierre WOULD smooch that demon and take him on dates. qbad would not recognize anything as a romantic gesture. aypierre could throw a bouquet of chocolate roses at him and bad would just be like ! thank you :}
like they love each other, absolutely. they TRUST each other, to the point where iād even say it gets in the way of bad seeing aypierre as anything more than a good friend. thatās his guy. The dude always in his corner. Friend resource label: team mate (coparent) (down to help kidnap people). bad doesnt do classic romantic relationships- all of his relationships are INCREDIBLY queer, but the closest he usually gets to what others read as romance is a classic chewtoy4chewtoy dynamic. He LOVES to fuck with people and he loves to get fucked with and if thereās a nice jawline or pretty muscles included?? huge bonus !!
heās got something- not kinder, with aypierre? not calmer, either, but stable, maybe. pierre has proven, over and over again, that heās on badās side. Spying on tubbo, encouraging badās pranks, the kidnapping- i canāt call it a reliable dynamic, not with how paranoid bad is, even when he trusts, but there is still a feeling of understanding that, wherever pierreās limits are for when he cant support bad (or genuinely turn against him), it hasnt been reached yet
aypierre, on the other hand, i dont know enough about to be absolutely sure but there are some Vibes. ironically, i think hes feeling like his relationships are unreliable. max was going to have their baby, and then he wasnt, and then he left him, then max fucking died. plus whatever is happening with him and ayrobot, which probably leaves him feeling like he cant rely on Himself. like he had, if not a little crush on bad, at least some Interest in him, before. as well as several islanders. i remember the days of the Bed Threat.
but thats part of it, too? because those flings didnt have that emotional connection, and i always got the sense that he started looking for that with maximus, to Love and Be Loved rather than pure lust. To care about someone, genuinely, and be cared about in return. but he didnt get that with the flings, and We know that max was using him, but i dont know if he did, but maybe he had a feeling about it and maybe he also had a feelinf about maximusā feelings towards bad and maybe- thereās something about that? A little push of not-spite-not-projection onto bad.
because bad IS that reliability, right now. heās a fucking gremlin. a bastard. a prankster silly guy. he trusts aypierre and aypierre trusts him and they dont share everything but so often, when it comes down to it, it is them against the world. them in the corner, caught, aypierre shouting about kissing as a cover for their crimes while bad runs giggling away from him.
#qsmp character analysis#qsmp shipping#<- because i DO think bad would be down to ~fornicate~#but i dont think pierre drifts into that chewtoy zone enoufh for bad to get that Obsession#theyre kidnapping and escaping buddies !! who share food and secrets and strategies !!#but bad would do the same with the other french yknow#god i could go on for YEARS about how queer qbadās relationships can get that demon is full of LOVE and that love is QUEER#i could make an argument that even his parenting style is affected by his queerness#in the way that he takes on all required roles for the eggs and cares for them SO MUCH#and SO OBVIOUSLY#as a dad/uncle that you dont often get to see in fiction#to the point where he is still in some way seen as a mother figure#but thats a whole different post#anyway this is part-analysis and part-silly written at ass-oā#clock in the morning#if i remember ill come back to tag the ship for filtering purposes but i dont wanna throw āi think its one sided and exacerbated by grief#and general yearning for love/stability in an ever changing worldā when prople are just tryin to make em kiss#i respect the kisser causers have fun yall im enjoying seeing it#god i need to sleep#ayhalo
144 notes
Ā·
View notes