#then possibly a spirit at the end or a hallucination or nothing

[waldosakimbo]

OH MY GOD Heretic (2024) has me by the throat. I feel like this one is definitely worth rewatching, because it TELLS you so much, it advertises SO MUCH right away, and it's sinister how it plays out!

Does Sister Barnes have faith? Does Sister Paxton actually believe she's seen evidence of god from, hilariously, some amateur porn? You're given the idea Sister Paxton believes more but she has no converts and no baptisms. Sister Barnes is questioning, but she's more successful. Why is that? (Is it the big sad eyes?) When they spot the teenagers in the street and Sister Paxton earnestly says "I love them," they immediately betray her. She loves the world. Its cruel. She wants to save this man. He's cruel. Faith and cruelty. Iterations. The butterfly image. The dead moths coating the window. Belief and disbelief and god damn it's tasty. Quick aside, did anyone else think he drugged those drinks or not? I worried initially, but I think it was genuinely just another one of his tests for later. Also it's insidious how Reed tells them "truths." He tells them the walls and ceiling have metal but they don't know that would block cell phones. He tells them the front door locks by a mechanism timer that doesn't come undone until daylight, (but he can switch it off). He tells them the house is wired weird. He tells them he put the aromatic pie there, he tests them, and it's so. Good! So when he tells them about religion, his motivations, his study of theology, and the challenge from Sister Barnes (the faithless? Who choses Belief and stands up to him? Who has her throat slit as the sacrificial lamb? Beautiful, tragic) is the other side of that. The flipside of the coin. Hugh Grant is AMAZING in this, because he's Hugh Granting it up but instead of a comedy, it's a horror. Unsettling to the max. Why? Because it's just the power of humanity and faith. It's JUST. The power. Of humanity. And Faith. It's nothing supernatural. It's using knowledge, history, the arts, humanity and psychology. As a weapon. Longlegs fell short for me because it was eventually supernatural and I thought it clunky and mishandled in the second half. This one? It's just humans. It's just an evil man. And it's visceral. More grounded, which makes it Terrifying. Even when faced with a miracle, we learn it's false. It's a magic trick. Even when we could pray, we're told BY THE PERSON. WHO IS FAITHFUL, that it means nothing, but sometimes it's beautiful to still pray for someone. Which brings me to the point where Sister Paxton was stabbed and praying in level...three? of his twisted Dante's inferno house? Actually, quick aside to that, I love the back and forth of quoting Spider-Man or Voltaire. Quoting Virgil or the Swamp Thing. It's again putting them on opposite sides, another mirror. But also showing the house itself as a labyrinth, yes, but specifically I think that was Dante's Inferno poster in his office, making Paxton Virgil, travelling the levels of Hell to the frozen pit/horrifying chamber of cages where he keeps other pious women, going Through to get Out. "Sister P" Is praying even though she Just said it does nothing. Reed crawling towards her, his own throat slit. But there's this moment where he's draped over her, sobbing or choking, looking for the warmth of her prayer, I think trying to feel her belief because he's been searching for it for so long and he's left empty. Before he can find peace (or kill her, did he have his knife to her throat to kill her? I think he would, but I still think he had this moment where he wished he could believe to find peace with someone, especially after seeing that interview where Grant stated backstory of Reed that he was a lonely man who lost someone dearly to him and he searched through religions to find comfort and couldn't) he's killed. He's smashed in the head with the McGuffin from earlier. Victory. Did Barnes come back? I think she was saving her strength and had one final moment to help her friend. And then that fucking ending. Is she dead? Is she alive? Was the butterfly real? Did she believe? Is it only her belief, her butterfly, or is a final hallucination before she passes? Did she make it out of Hell? Anyways, I'm going to have to see this again soon. Delicious. Horrifying. Loved it.

[mari-lair]

Let's talk about after-school chapter 28!

I had assumed this interaction was what made Teru, our king of pettiness, go "You know what? I think I won't exorcise your evil spirit problem. Perish."

But?? Akane already had stiff shoulders at the start of their talk?? And Akane waited until it was near the end of their student council time to brag about his 'date' with Aoi.

Meaning Teru just let Akane carry the embodiment of stress and hatred on his back during their entire student council time??

I can't fathom why? This was not an 'I trust Akane to handle it' case, not when Teru was the one who enchanted his glasses so he know better than anyone how vulnerable to supernatural Akane becomes with it, and telling myself Teru needed to wait for the supernatural to feed on Akane to grow when this guy is a pro exorcist also feels like an excuse.

Maybeeee Teru was morbidly curious as to how Akane would fight the feeling?

Speculations on the insane decision to let Akane be haunted aside, their conversation is a trainwreck, shout out to how Teru instinct upon hearing Akane got a date is that his buddy is hallucinating.

I get his skepticism tho, pre-severance Akane you are... A lot.

"I love the part of her that invites me to go shopping" Akane, my dear, you need help. I know you're being honest but please find a less awkward way to be a lovesick fool. (---> I say, knowing full well he'll need to go through a traumatic feelies talkies section in Death's house first)

"cya!" is just cute to me. Look at this smug ill-informed dumbass.

"Hey, the flowers behind aoi are different this time," I think in surprise, even tho realistically Akane must associate Aoi with the entire garden at this point.

And here comes the professional thrid well, the prince himself! His mere presence means Teru actually fell for Akane calling the shopping trip a date though, he gives Akane too much credit.

Teru knowing Akane well enough to translate his stammers of a pathetic creature into "Why are you here?" is beautiful, bro is better at his side gig (pester akane) than his main job (be an exorcist) today.

Aoi's "I know a liar when I see one. let's indulge him anyways" she truly is a kind soul.

Speaking of said liar, I love that Teru doesn't have a basket or shopping cart.

He isn't even trying to pretend he had plans to go shopping, what a guy.

Aoi getting excited over dirt and fertilizer, my girl <3

Shout out to Akane for being happy that Aoi is happy and to Teru for finally figuring out that he doesn't need to sabotage anything cause there is nothing to sabotage.

Teru: *speak*

Akane: and away goes my joy and whimsy.

Love Teru trying to bond with Aoi right after the realization this is a hangout. He wastes no time.

Aoi telling Teru the truth is sweet, I'm glad they are getting closer. Also happy to see Teru remains shameless.

Aoi gave him the driest look possible and Teru still put carrots on her basket. He even said "buy it" SO HE WOULD HAVE MADE HER PAY FOR THE CARROTS.

YES AOI REPRIMAND HIS ASS!

She really treats him like a dog! Is incredible. From her 'grrr' to the way she points a finger at him, it gives me "bad dog! Drop it!" energy.

Fascinated by the way Teru blushes. He seems to be more hung up on being called 'bad' than anything, but he definitively liked being reprimanded, he is still blushing when he walks instead of displaying the dejection of the convenience store.

He doesn't even give up on his quest to make her buy veggies.

Teru, you're doing horrible sweety, keep pestering her and you two will be inseparable in no time <3

Love how Akane snapped out of the curse's first attempt to make him spiral by refusing to be on the same level as Hanako.

He is so arrogant "What am i a loser? A pathetic toilet loser? Nah nah, I am better than that." like damn, okay bro.

I can't believe he pushed back against a curse by the sheer power of self-confidence and determination though, he is built differently. 90% of the characters in this manga cannot relate.

Love how Teru probably didn't suggest a single flower for Aoi to buy, trying to test if he could sneak even one vegetable into her basket, so his closeness to Aoi just made Akane's petunia suggestion look that much more thoughtful in comparison (she does look very happy to be given an actual flower).

Rest in peace Teru you suck at sabotaging.

(Or he would suck if that was the goal! He stuck around for this entire hangout despite how rare his free time is. He got his ice cream, he even walked Aoi home, he just want to hang out. Same vibe as when he went "Oh aoi come with me to the festival, Akane will be there")

I find Teru's zoned-out face so cute.

There is no speech bubble to Terukane's first panel here, but i am 95% sure Teru was the one who asked to be notified about Aoi's gardening progress considering the '...' contrasting Akane's enthusiasm. Love that for him, yes talk to Aoi, get close to this closed off girl.

And Akane didn't like that iuguyguygyui

Teru can always just take off his glasses like Akane never fights that. Good for you.

I am still not over Teru just letting him carry this curse.

But now I really doubt he did it specifically to torture Akane, cause Teru likes helping Akane as much as he enjoys annoying him.

I wonder if he is proud of Akane for not acting on any of the negative feelings he was being fed, cause Teru looks genuinely happy here! It's a far cry from his usual 'bullying you relax me' or 'i am petty' kind of smiles.

...I may be biased but I am throwing my "Teru didn't exorcise the monster for this long to have an excuse to be hanging out with the Aois while tecnically doing his job." idea here. We do get a heavy confirmation he could have done something before and wanted to third wheel after all.

Teru wants to turn this couple into a tricycle so bad. What a guy.

"I hope I didn't act weird" That's an insane thing to think considering how you act near Aoi on the daily bro, you're lucky she is too down bad to mind your madman tendencies.

Peak weirdo to weirdo pining hell.

Speaking of which, she sent him a message to show off the planted flowers! She went out of her way to make sure he saw it, Akane never asked her to update him.

LOOK AT THEEEEEEEEEEM

"Thanks for taking me out today!" says the one who invited him. And 'taking me out'? to the hardware store? I swear I wouldn't even be surprised if she mentally referred to their hang-out as a date too. I love you Aoi.

"As long as Ao-chan had fun, I am happy" l know and I love you.

ps: Their height difference still sparks joy. The smallest girl in the block, the tallest boy in the group, and the perfect middle ground.

[backjustforberena]

Your recent post was heartbreaking, yet so well-put! Yet, I had to ask this:

Do you think Corlys would also see his children?

For reference, this was the text post:

Imagine if we did get a Corlys seeing Rhaenys (he's talking to her whilst locked alone in his cell) and he says something about how, even if everything else is awful, at least living is preferable because, in life, he still sees her. He can still talk to her. And with death, he feels as if he's bound to be separated from her forever, as he doesn't think he'll end up in the same place her spirit did.

My answer to your question would be: no. And I'll tell you why, even though you didn't ask. Firstly, just the practicalities - I'm basing this off of a possible "if I were in charge" scene in the upcoming seasons and my priority would be to get Eve Best back and for it also to be a one-off.

I don't need Corlys going through a Harrenhal-number of hallucinations (who has the time), I don't need magic involved, I'd just like a regular ol' "person talking to a loved one who isn't there" kind of a scene. I'd like to infer it's not something that's without regularity - he does speak to her, the special thing is just that the audience can see it this once. If you open that up to kids, then where does it end? Grandkids? Is Vaemond about to pop up with his head sewn together?

This brings me to my next point, which is that, in Corlys's psyche, for me, Rhaenys will always be on a different level. She's just different to all of his other losses and her purpose in "haunting" him would be different. Rhaenys is already haunting Corlys's narrative. She is the reason he is on the path he's on, why he's doing what he's doing. His business is her unfinished business.

There's no link like that with his children - whilst their deaths are likely on his conscience, there's no sense of (forgive me if this sounds callous) failure on his part - Laena died in childbirth, in a roundabout way, and Laenor was murdered. He had little proximity to the acts in making them happen in any direct way. There's nothing specifically unfulfilled or left undone.

Whereas, with Rhaenys, obviously, there was disharmony at the end. She dies in a way that he cannot get closure, he cannot understand. For all we know, as viewers, he never receives her body. Going back to this idea that he's doing everything for her, he's setting her on a pedestal. He's making her memory something for him to measure himself against and that's a very active decision and something that would need to be kept up.

It's also related to the fact that she was the one person he could be vulnerable with. She is the person that he spoke to. I like the idea of him continuing that tradition, or trying to, wishing (endlessly wishing) she were with him. Trying to live as she might want him to, to accomplish and be witness to things that she should have. Talking to her with the idea that she will answer.

So, a scene such as this has a very specific use in my head. It's a tool to get inside Corlys's head, it's a way to explore his motivations and grief. To check-in. See what brought him to this point and what he expects of the future.

[andauril]

Chapter Title: Bowel of the Beast

Chapter Summary: The party assaults Moonrise Towers. Silaestra discovers more than she bargained for in the Mindflayer Colony below.

(art by @/dafna-winchester)

Pairing: Astarion x Female Dark Urge

Summary: When Astarion called Silaestra a "kindred spirit", the first time they met, he could never have known how right he ended up being.

Excerpt:

I still appreciate your help, Silaestra.” Wyll sheathed the rapier. “And I’ve only got six months before I’m made a free man, thanks be to the Triad. No, scratch that”, he offered a smile, “thanks be to you. ” The smile ached on her lips as she returned it. Her head was still pounding, as if the scar was being newly opened - as if whatever had given it to her was intent on drilling yet another hole into her skull. “I hope she will keep true to her word.”  “I don’t doubt that she will let me go as easily. We will need to be on our guard - watch out for any other tricks she may have up her sleeve. But seriously, Silaestra - this is a victory. A small one, perhaps, quite possibly with strings attached, but … I’ve spent seven years serving her. Better I serve her for six months more than the rest of my days.”  She opened her mouth to reply - to try and reassure him, perhaps, to offer what little comfort she could - but something caught her attention.  Another pod.  Unlike the rest of them, this one was empty. And damaged.  The inside of it was covered with blood, especially where the occupants head would’ve been.  Her tadpole squirmed and writhed, screaming into her mind. Her head was pounding.  She was trapped, barely conscious, in pain, pounding, pounding against the lid of her coffin, screaming her throat row, screaming, cursing, thrashing, the scent of her own blood in her mouth - so sweet, so sweet, but it was not her time yet, she needed out, she needed to be free, what they had done to her … tear them apart, tear out their throats, rip out their entrails, kill them all, kill them all …  A hand fell onto her shoulder.  Silaestra whirled around with a snarl. She needed out …!  “Anything alright, love?” Astarion’s voice sounded far away. “I know that look in your eye. You were miles away, weren’t you?” She blinked. Swallowed.  “I … I think I …” Had that been a memory? A hallucination? She wasn’t sure. Nothing seemed real ; nothing had, not since they’d set foot in this mindflayer colony. “This might sound strange, but could you … There is the blood, in that pod. Could you tell me if it smells familiar at all?” The look on his face was skeptical, but he didn’t protest. His eyes lingered on her as he stepped closer to the pod and inhaled. A look of surprise flickered across his features. “Oh yes, that’s yours, alright. Even stale I’d recognise that bouquet anywhere.”

[leannan-sithe]

acknowledging that this is an absurdly broad question, do you have any wisdom for someone who’s too worried about being “delusional” to go all-in? vis a vis otherpartners and belief in general.

I'm going to tell you straight up that I do not suffer from any form of psychosis or delusion to begin with, so any information I'm passing on irt that is secondhand from actually psychotic folks giving advice.

Your first concern should be your Quality of Life.

If any of this spirituality (or however you phrase godspousing / spirit companionship) is actively interfering with your mental health, with interfering being by definition a negative thing, then you should pause and reevaluate.

The goal for any spiritual path (in this modern era where we don't accept fearmongering and control tactics) is to benefit you, is to uplift you and make your life better.

Now, these are the two questions: - Is this belief harming me in any way? - Is this belief helping me in any way?

Answer those, and compare them. You should see much more help from your belief system than harm (if any at all).

Do you get companionship? Do you feel love and supported? Is it as simple as entertainment -- you enjoy being with your otherpartner, and nothing more?

Okay, if you mostly have positive outcomes from this *potentially* delusional belief, then we move on to the next bit.

Answer these two questions: - Are you in any direct danger by holding these beliefs? - Are you harming other cultures or peoples by taking from their closed beliefs?

For the danger, if you can be out and open freely, go for it. But if you're incapable of keeping secrets and you have to tell people (or buy things or have visual representations of your partner) and it's actively unsafe of you to do so? Then you shouldn't continue with godspousing until it's safe.

Now, with all of that said -- if it's benefiting you, not harming others, and not an active danger to your life?

Then who cares if there's the possibility of it being a delusion? If you're doing rigorous checks and researching and being worried in the first place, it's probably not a delusion in the first place.

Regardless, even if it is -- psychotic folks and people who experience delusions *can* still have rich spiritual lives. Just because you experience psychosis doesn't mean you're automatically rendered incapable of interacting with spirituality at all.

(There's delusions of grandeur and hallucinations that specifically interface with religion in an unhealthy way, but that's on an individual basis and beyond the scope of me, an internet person.)

If it's really a dealbreaker that you can't firmly say this is real or fake, that it's reality or a delusion, then godspousing might not be for you!

Because, at the end of it all, this is a spirituality. For some folks, it's even religious.

And those things require faith about the unseen and trust in the unknown.

Start by trying to make peace that something that's benefiting you significantly more than it's harming you, is okay to continue.

It shouldn't be harming you at all, but we're classifying anxiety here as harm.

You're allowed to have weirdass, odd beliefs.

[destieltropecollection]

DESTIEL TROPE COLLECTION 2023 | DAY 8 | Case Fic

I'll Always Come When You Call | @blessyourhondahurley

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,960 Main Tags/Warnings: Established Castiel/Dean Winchester Summary: Cas takes a quick case with Garth that turns out to be not so quick. Dean comes in with the assist.

Blue Like Grace | @aaronthe8thdemon

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3,226 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Season/Series 08, Fake Marriage, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Winged Castiel (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Interspecies Romance, Angel Marriage (Supernatural), Repressed Bisexual Dean Winchester Summary: Dean ain’t used to getting to “decorate” things. Decorations are usually shit for other people with normal lives. He’d see it on tv when he was younger, in shows people would put up streamers for their kids’ birthdays or whatever. And also in bars during holidays, those tacky shiny things hung on walls and from ceilings. But Dean’s never done it himself. Which means that Cas, right now, is driving him fucking insane.

Just Say It | @curlynerd

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7,494 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon Fix-It, Case Fic, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Ghosts, Day At The Beach, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Finale doesn't exist, (weakened)Angel!Cas Summary: A string of violent deaths at an otherwise charming B&B was all the excuse Dean needed to drag Cas down to Florida for some fun in the sun. Things had been awkward since Cas came back from the Empty and they could finally be together, but Dean was sure that a romantic getaway was the perfect thing to help Cas get out of the training wheels stage of Angel's-First-Romance and start acting like a real couple. Just as soon as they took care of a vengeful spirit. What could possibly go wrong?

Jupiter's Rings | @notastupidbird

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7,527 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Fallen Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Solo Hunter Dean Winchester, Hunters For Hire, Monsters are Known, Case Fic, Meet-Weird, POV Dean Winchester Summary: “No, this is perfect! I was just about to put up a notice today.” Dean stops packing up his stuff and rests an elbow on the table. “Yeah? What for?” The man gives a quick look around the diner and then leans in close. “I got an alien in my barn.” - + - In a world where supernatural encounters are a normal part of everyday life, Dean works alone as a hunter-for-hire. After wrapping up a case in rural Missouri, Dean is just about to hit the road again when a man stops him and asks for help dealing with something Dean's never heard of before — an alien. Never one to turn somebody away, Dean takes the case and finds out that he's in way over his head when he discovers just what this "alien" really is — a fallen angel.

This Angel Is Naturally And Artificially Flavored | @aaronthe8thdemon

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7,687 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst and Humor, Explicit Sexual Content, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Undercover as a Couple, Case Fic, Canon Compliant, Autistic Castiel (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Surprise Ending Summary: “I don’t understand,” Castiel interrupts. “If you don’t require my assistance, then why did she pray for me?” “Dean, if you go there yourself, nothing’s gonna get done,” Charlie says, clearly resuming some type of argument that was taking place before he arrived. “You can just go with me!” is Dean’s response. “It’s a gay club, you’re gay, it’ll totally work!” “Yeah, if what you’re going for is the world’s least convincing lavender marriage!”

Forest Fever | @amaranthhiding

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8,586 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Universe, Post-Ep 12x10, Monster of the Week, Forests, Monster Hunt, Mystery (a little), Hallucinations, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Humor, First Kiss, Emotional Sex, Angel Grace, Dean POV, Sam POV, Dean/Cas Stab Fest 2022 Summary: After the crushing events of episode 12x10 "Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets", Castiel is low on grace and morale. In an attempt to restore at least one of these two, Sam and Dean take him on a hunt. Things start going wrong when Sam gets injured and Cas seemingly disappears. They get worse when Dean turns from hunter to prey for something feeling far more at home in this dark, rainy forest than he does.

Full Fathom Five Thy Father Lies | @ariasune

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 13,575 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel's True Form, Deep Sea Horror, First Kiss, Season 8 Summary: "Look, Charlie thinks the Men of Letters have something that can help you actually, you know, find this monster.” “Good,” Dean licks at his thumb to get the last of the chicken salt clean. “Cause right now it seems like we’ve got a monster that’s some 20, 000 leagues under the sea…” He stops. “This isn’t some 20, 000 leagues shit is it?” “It’s a submarine, actually.” Fuck, that sounds like a yes.

A Midsummer Night's Dean | @payphoneangel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 16,949 Main Tags/Warnings: Casefic, friends to lovers, love spells, love confessions, getting together, canon-typical violence, POV Dean Winchester, Summary: When an uncanny string of deaths lead TFW to California, they're pointed in the direction of a kitschy hotel with a reputation for being haunted. Will they discover what’s causing the love-sickness, or will their stay end in (deadly) heartbreak?

Stranded | @malicmalic

Rating: Mature Word Count: 27,980 Main Tags/Warnings: Deserted island, Case fic, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Angst, Crack, Funny situations, Competitions Summary: Prompt: Cas and Dean are hunting and they touch a portkey/ artifact that transports them somewhere warm and sunny/ place full of couples. Artefact also temporarily stops Cas from flying back so they have to muddle through an activity. Snorkeling, abseiling, anything out of the boys comfort zone. Or how Dean and Cas manage to get themselves into some funny and interesting situations while stranded on a deserted island that isn't really deserted at all.

Under My Skin | @whichstiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 39,596 Main Tags/Warnings: Curses, Fae and Faeries, Fungus, Sex magic, Body horror Summary: Dean and Castiel head to a remote town in the Ozarks to investigate a series of mysterious deaths. In each case, the victim mutilates their own skin, gruesomely clawing at it until death stops their hands. They scramble for answers, trying to solve the case before more victims succumb. In this small town, the only motel room available means that they will be sharing a bed. They've never been more aware of each other, or the potential that lies between them. When they learn that an ancient sex magic ritual is the best way to stop the deaths? Well, somebody has to take one for the team.

Heart Shaped Box | @mittensmorgul

Rating: Mature Word Count: 43,504 Main Tags/Warnings: s15 fix it fic (human Cas, everyone lives), curses, references to past canon/trauma Summary: The bunker is full of dusty old artifacts. Only now that Chuck is out of the picture once and for all, and Cas is fully restored from the empty and in his first days of adjusting to humanity in Dean’s debatable care, does Sam really have a chance to start sorting through it all. The ornate little box he finds feels like the perfect gift for Eileen, but he both wants Cas to feel included and needed, and really wants a strong second opinion on anything in the bunker being safe to give anyone as a gift. Cas declares it a perfectly normal box, until Dean reaches out to give it his own inspection, triggering a spell that will pull them through their own history and open a door to allow them the time and space to settle all the open questions between them. Meanwhile back in the bunker, once the explosion of light resolves, Sam is left with a slightly radioactive looking box and the sinking terror that Dean and Cas had been cursed all because of him. A little trip down memory lane, Supernatural style, ensues.

Lonely Is The Night | @trenchcoatparadigm

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 50,420 Main Tags/Warnings: Prostitution, During Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Monster of the Week, Season/Series 09, First Kiss, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut Summary: “Listen, buddy. You can’t stay.” Five little words that had sent Castiel’s whole world crumbling down around him. What would he do? Where would he go? How would he survive now that he was human? That had been nearly 2 years ago. He did what he needed to get by. Had a roof over his head, just about. Minimal food in his belly, enough to keep him alive at least. And money in his pocket. Dirty, filthy money he earned by offering himself up to people that did unspeakable, sinful things to him. Once an angel of the lord, now left to lurking on street corners, hoping someone would give him the time of day just so he could stay alive. Whispers of disappearances had been rife through 5th street. But when familiar faces start vanishing, Castiel isn’t sure if people were leaving out of fear or something worse. Just when everything seemed its bleakest there was a tiny glimmer of hope, pinging brightly off chrome alloys and glossy black paintwork. The rumbling beast cruising through his neighbourhood, by his corner. He never thought he’d see that car again. The Winchester brothers brought to the city on a new case. A new case that sat a little too close to home.

[harrowharks-iliac-crest]

Alecto

Characters

<< Previous: John | Masterpost

-

Alecto, the most important character who we know the least about.

Here are some theories:

She was an alien of some kind: she's been described as "not human", and a "monster". Monsterhood can take on different forms, so it's fairly nondescript. But she was certainly exceptional in many ways.

She could have been a genetic anomaly, human but not, and it gave her powers.

Was she already this wild, angry, powerful, nonhuman monster before John resurrected her? None of the other Lyctors knew her before John resurrected her, and fused with her via perfect Lyctorhood. At this point, she would have been enormously powerful, and possibly using this power willfully; she wasn't just herself, she was an amalgam of her and John.

Here's how John describes her:

He said, “It stood for a couple of things. A joke, mostly. I often called her Annabel Lee. Annie Laurie. When I first met her I just called her First, One. She had a real name, but I buried it with her, and nobody says it anymore. “She has been dead for nearly ten thousand years, but she keeps her vigil with me, as a memory, if nothing else … Annabel Lee was my—what do I call her? Guide? Friend? I’d hoped so…” You did not know how to respond to this. He did not seem to need a response. God said, “She was the first Resurrection. She was my Adam. As the dust settled and I beheld what was left and what was gone, I was entirely alone. The world had been ended, Harrowhark. One moment I was a man, and then the next moment I was the Necrolord Prime, the first necromancer, and more importantly, a landlord with no tenants.”

No lie, John knowing Alecto as "First", and "One", to me creepily suggests that she was a specimen. That John was some kind of scientist studying her. (Yuck.) Perhaps even a genetically engineered fetus he created and grew himself. I could be misreading this of course. She could be an alien with alien powers. She might not have been human at all, though compatible enough with humans to Lyctor with them and possibly even reproduce.

John says she was his first resurrection. The way he describes the event makes it sound like he needed all the energy in the whole entire universe to do it, and that this was what killed the First House, and all the other Houses that existed at the time, and the planets, and the sun.

Then there's this:

The dead corse of the Locked Tomb—the death of the Emperor—the maiden with the sword and the chains, the girl in the ice, the woman of the cold rock, the being behind the stone that could never be rolled away—said, in half-confused tones she had never taken with you: “I don’t know. I died, once … no, twice,” but then she had said no more.

(Hinting at Alecto the Ninth - the future book - continuing the trend of being told from the perspective of the person who knows least about what's going on.)

But she died twice - once presumably before John resurrected her (allegedly), and the second time - when she got locked away? Or was there another one? (Still convinced Alecto isn't dead currently.)

Was Alecto's resurrection the same incident, or a different one, to John and Alecto's Lyctoral Ascension?

And who was Alecto... before she died the first time?

The Alecto we see in Harrow's "hallucinations" is quiet, protective of Harrow, secretive. She betrays little emotion, but when she does, it's never... vicious, her spirit so different from Wake in this respect. She seems genuinely sweet, far from the monster we've heard described. Her presence is comforting for Harrow.

We've also heard Augustine say:

“My lord,” said Augustine formally, “you told us the truth about Annabel—about Alecto—because she knew the truth about it too, and you never could control her. Even after two centuries, I’m not sure she ever managed to lie. That was what stayed my hand for such a long time. How would you have asked Alecto the First to lie—how would you have persuaded that mad monster into even an unsophisticated con?” God said, “Don’t call her that.” “A monster, John!” Augustine barked. “She was a bloody monster in a human suit! She was a monster the moment you resurrected her, and you went and made her worse!”

So she couldn't lie, but still "a monster" who John managed to "make worse". But also maybe not the brightest? Excepting the Monster part, she sounds like almost more of a himbo than Gideon.

What powers did she have then, to be so frequently called a monster?

It's very difficult to tangle apart what's actually Alecto, which of John's powers are actually her powers, and which of her post-resurrection/Lyctorhood powers are John's.

I think John's tangy type of magic which heals instantly and puts him back together again from atoms after Mercymorn "kills" him, the power which makes people so compelled to talk and tell him the truth, that's actually Alecto's powers - as discussed in the previous post.

Her powers - hers, not John's, or hers being used through John - post-resurrection and pre - are not very defined, at all, but it is safe to say that she must be very powerful. If I'm right and the citrus instant-powers John uses are actually Alecto's, then she is quite close to being a necromancer herself. I don't think her and John correspond neatly to the necro/cav dichotomy.

The whole thing with Ortus and Nonius shows that words are powerful in the River and possibly outside. I think Alecto's powers are as such that even saying her name can invoke her spirit - which is why John doesn't want her name to be said, ever. I think she is still alive - and the ice and tomb and wards are there to keep her out, and keep her spirit from attaching itself to people and things. I think that's what happened with Harrow when she opened the tomb. Alecto doesn't need a connection to something, or someone, to attach herself to them. Or maybe Harrow's instant love for her was enough. Or maybe the love itself is a manifestation of Alecto's powers? Either way, she did not have to be related to Harrow, or attached to Harrow, to hitch a ride with her. An impenetrable ice cave warded to all hell - not even a mouse would have been able to get in. Probably, Alecto would have been able to possess a mouse and get her spirit, at least, out that way. This is why it was important to keep everyone and everything out of the tomb and lock it forever. Alecto's powers are on the same level, if not higher, than God's.

I think Alecto must have figured out first that resurrection and necromancy was an awful, horrible thing to do that would draw the wrath of dead planets and souls.

I think a lot of the plotting against the emperor is by her design, somehow. That when she "went away" from Harrow in the last few weeks of HtN, she was Doing Something, her soul connecting to the Blood of Eden, or the Resurrection Beasts, or something. It's been established by now, quite formly, that just cus someone's dead - or incapacitated - this doesn't keep them from having influence on the plot. At least for the past eight years, Alecto has been with Harrow, and therefore much freer in how her soul would roam.

I'm hella excited to find out what will happen with Alecto.

This concludes the character section; I'm going to briefly attempt to predict some plot and theorise about Nona before actually getting this liveblog back off the ground!

>> Next: Plot Predictions

[rubyvroom]

Some questions about "Tàr" (long, spoilers)

What really happens in the film, "Tàr"?

a. Nothing, silly. It's a movie.

b. Ha ha. Actually, within the confines of the reality within the movie, this is a pretty straightforward story of a world-famous conductor who abuses her power to take advantage of female musicians. In the course of the story, her long history of abusive behavior is revealed to the public and her life unravels, leaving her alone and having to start over her career from the bottom, hopefully having learned her lesson (but probably not).

c. Same, only everything after she descends into the weird underground apartment complex and is menaced by a shadowy dog who chases her until she faceplants hard onto cement is not real, it's either a dream or a metaphor, because she's in a coma or dead. Other odd scenes before that are dream sequences following which we see Lydia wake up in bed, establishing that some of what we see are actually Lydia's dreams. The story, however, is straightforwardly following the path described above.

d. What we see in the movie is entirely real and following the course of B, but portrayed from a pov so deeply embedded in the protagonist's mind that critical details are distorted or omitted; moreover, the protagonist is experiencing auditory and visual hallucinations as a result of her guilt over the death of Krista.

e. The entire film is literally happening as described in B, however there are supernatural elements at work that make Tàr more of a horror genre piece than people are prepared to accept from a prestige film. Lydia is being haunted by the spirit of Krista, and it is this spirit that is making strange things happen around her. We have several direct sightings of this ghost, a red-headed woman seen in the audience at several points and in Lydia's home at night. Possibly Krista is the architect of Lydia's downfall.

f. This is possibly the least straightforward film I've seen in a decade or more; potentially none of what we see directly is literal.

2. What evidence from the film supports this explanation?

a. LOL.

b. We are not given any reasons to doubt that Lydia has been abusing her power, or that the women she has been abusing are lying. It seems to be an open secret that Lydia preys on beautiful young musicians, and even Lydia's wife knows very well about these affairs. It is, in fact, exactly how she ended up with Lydia in the first place, and how she continues to be the Concertmaster in her orchestras across the world. The other women, it is implied, are discarded when they are no longer interesting to or of use to Lydia, and this keeps her wife more or less satisfied and in place. When the press begins to put the pieces together after several leaks of information, leaks from people we have witnessed Lydia mistreating onscreen, Lydia's financial backers, her collaborators, and her orchestra can no longer ignore what she has been doing, and neither can her wife. Although it happens very quickly, it is reasonable that her downfall would follow under these conditions, especially given the suicide of one of her former conquests. The film depicts all of these events directly in a cinema verite-like style, unadorned, without even a soundtrack unless it is being played by a character onscreen, to emphasize the reality of events. The story is the story, it all literally happens.

c. However. The passage in the abandoned building differs stylistically from the rest of the movie and is filmed in the manner of a thriller, and everything depicted after that is heightened and sped up considerably from the more leisurely pace of the first hour. The bulk of Lydia's downfall occurs after this scene, and we start to feel at this point as though scenes are missing. Events are elided and described later offhandedly, where before they had been portrayed almost in real time. The hammer falls blow after blow to Lydia's life and career from this point onwards. Is this actually Lydia's fears we are seeing? Is it some kind of coma dream or afterlife, where she is being punished for her sins?

That abandoned building scene is also, let's all agree, weird as fuck. I mean what is that dog? It's a weird fucking dog? And is it actually chasing Lydia? She certainly thinks it is and she's running away from it like crazy, but after that first glimpse we don't actually see it chasing her. We certainly don't see it catch her after she falls, which it obviously would if it was actually biting at her heels. Lydia isn't bitten anywhere afterwards. Her injuries are from the fall on the concrete, which banged up her face and damaged her shoulder. The only explanation is that she imagined the dog and ran from her own panic, if this event occurred at all. Or is it her own guilt? She then frames the incident, consistently, as an attack on her by a man, one that coincides with an avalanche of accusations and abandonments that come one by one after this scene. Her face heals quite quickly, but her shoulder continues to bother her and a doctor diagnoses her with  “Notalgia paraesthetica", or a phantom itch that cannot be relieved. Is this trauma? Is the new vagueness of the timeline and her muffled reaction to events a result of trauma? Is it Lydia's guilt and paranoia that is coming up with this thorough dismantling of her own life and persona in some kind of fevre dream? This leads us to answer D:

d. Close point of view. Lydia is in every scene. Everything is as she perceives it to be. If something is strange, it is because her perceptions are unreliable.

Let's talk about Lydia. Who the fuck is Lydia Tàr? Lydia Tàr is convincingly brilliant. Her speeches are pretentious but also knowledgable, coherent: she's not actually an idiot like Miles Bron. She is genuinely passionate about her work, constantly engrossed in music, comparing everything she encounters to a song or a composer or a conductor of the past.*

We are put inside her head, perceiving things the way she does. We hear the odd snatches of music and sound that distract her, things no one else hears, and see her incorporate these bits and pieces into her music. We see dream images, faces, that send her bolting upright in bed. We see strange events that only she knows about but are definitely real, such as her sick neighbor who has to be helped back to bed in an emergency, naked, wasting away and incoherent. We later see that apartment come up for sale, and when the sellers come by and gently suggest she keep the noise down so she can sell the apartment, she has a fairly childish reaction. (But honestly this was the one bit where I actually liked Lydia in her terribleness; anyone who has had annoying neighbors will laugh big at her sudden loud accordion playing and atonal rendition of "APARTMENT FOR SALE!!!!") These anecdotes don't add to the story whatsoever, and are there to plant us further in the protagonist's mindset, fit us in her shoes a little bit more.

Lydia Tàr is abominably self-absorbed. The first indication of this that we directly witness is how she is stealing Sharon's medicine and popping pills while on the road, so much so that when she gets home, Sharon is in the middle of an attack (heart condition or panic? unclear) and has no pills left to take. Much later in the film, when everything has fallen apart, Sharon is the most upset by the fact that Lydia didn't warn her about the legal case or the depositions or the newspaper stories, she was left in the dark to be blindsided by them. Lydia's response? Sharon couldn't have done anything to help. So why tell her? This seems a completely reasonable response to Lydia. Causing Sharon distress does not seem to register to her at all.

A lot of things don't register to Lydia at all. Small time-skips are so common in film that you tend not to notice them, but they are particularly noticable here. Scene to scene it is suddenly days later, weeks later, and dialogue makes certain that we know this. Lydia mentions events that are extremely relevant to the story, but we didn't know have already happened offscreen. Yet we see her visit to the doctor, her session with the beautiful cellist, instead. We see what is important to her, and don't see what is not. This, I would argue, is what lends the film a sense of surreality when the style of filmmaking is otherwise so realistic.

The audience is unsurprised when her assistant Francesca abandons her, this was inevitable from the very first scene of the film. She is an old lover, a previous round of the cycle who found a niche in Lydia's life to occupy, and is being strung along with the promise of an assistant position that is obviously never going to be offered. To her face, she dangles the possibility of that position coming to her immediately, in order to get her to do what she needs her to do: delete all evidence of her relationship with Krista. Afterwards, she gives the position to someone else instead, and even tasks her with some of the arrangements. It would be more shocking if she didn't abandon Lydia at that point, after such a blatant slap in the face. Still, the film treats this as a revelation, because Lydia for whatever reason does not see this coming even though she really, really should have.

In fact, a lot of Lydia's actions are so thuddingly obviously going to blow up in her face that you have to wonder if she is more self-destructing than being taken down from outside. Her continued pursuit of the cellist when the whole organization seems to be aware of it and she's already in trouble for Krista, for instance.

So we come to the strange little scenes where Lydia is hearing a sound, and can't find where it is coming from. These range from innocuous (a high-pitched tone in her apartment) to threatening (a woman's terrified screams in the park where she is jogging). In all cases she searches for the sound. In only one case does she uncover it, but that only makes it more inexplicable -- the metronome has started ticking, despite being put away and with no one in the room to turn it on. She questions her daughter about playing in her study, but the daughter does not seem to know anything about it.

We get glimpses of a red-haired woman -- first right at the beginning of the film, and later in Lydia's home. When her daughter wakes up and calls out her name, Lydia goes to her room sleepily and on the way she passes a figure in the darkness who appears to be the same red-headed woman. The woman is not literally there, but she is on Lydia's mind. We learn at a certain point that this is at least a reference to Krista, the woman who committed suicide after Lydia sabotaged her career.

Why is the only thing the audience sees that Lydia couldn't possibly see is Francesca's text messages? This is a break in the POV that doesn't work if we're watching in real-time, but if this is Lydia looking backwards somehow, she could easily intuit what Francesca was thinking at the time. If Lydia is capable of imagining anyone else's interior life. (Does Lydia have a conscience? Essay question.)

e. The supernatural interpretation is self-explanatory given the glimpses of the red-headed woman. Lydia's life really unravels after Krista's death, and perhaps there is a kind of haunting taking place that explains the weird noises and the metronome. But given that, let's mention how far-fetched some of the events of the last passage of this film are.

The viral video, edited together to make Lydia say things she didn't in a way that seems plausible at first. But how was this video filmed? None of the students in the class are shown using their phones during the encounter in question. The multiple perspectives imply that there have to be 5 or 6 people recording, but we see none of them. Lydia forbids use of cell phones in her class. How was this video made?

Lydia tackling Mark Strong at the podium. How did Lydia get backstage? Why do none of the players react to her presence, as someone who has been fired from the orchestra and very much should not be there? Why doesn't the trumpet player who is standing right next to her not see her? Why doesn't anyone try to stop her until it's too late? And how did Mark Strong get ahold of her copy of the score, which went missing from Lydia's own house?

And so on and so on. Are these mistakes? By a film so meticulously grounded and realistic in the portrayal of the life of a classical musician? Is this the spirit of Krista interfering somehow to make absolutely sure Lydia loses absolutely everything? Or is something else happening?

edit: I'm going to add this very good essay from the perspective of a classical musician that reinforces the unreality of these choices. She feels that the film is bungling an attempt at realism; I want to discuss the possibility that the film isn't attempting realism at all.

f. We accept that cinema verite means realism. We accept this because we have been trained to over the course of decades. The hallmarks of a documentary style** including lack of soundtrack, long and static shots, conversations that meander, scenes that drag, conjure in our minds a sense that we are witnessing something directly. The one exception to this is the horror genre, where all of these same stylistic choices (plus a lot of hand-held camera) in a found-footage film are used to jolt the audience into accepting supernatural events, generating fear from the intrusion of unreality into reality. This is also one possible definition of the surreal.

How many more events in this film signify that none of this is happening at all? Let's take the scene at the end of the film where Lydia Tàr goes home, surprisingly, to Staten Island. There we see evidence of a family who were not present at all in Lydia's home or life to this point, yet who have followed her accomplishments closely. We see a man who is possibly her brother. He states that "Ma" talked to Lydia and warned him she would be coming home (we did not see this conversation). He calls Lydia "Linda". He suggests that her manner of speaking in the rest of the movie is an affectation, and her response to him drops a little bit of this affected speech, which appears to confirm this. All this adds a little more backstory that tells us of a hometown girl hitting it big and never looking back, right?

But there is one more lie revealed here. Lydia pulls out a videotape of Leonard Bernstein, an obviously much-loved and much-watched tape of one of his educational concerts. In it he says a number of things that Lydia has repeated throughout the movie, which she seems to have lifted from this videotape.

Now remember the long interview at the beginning of the film, where Lydia/Linda claimed to have been a protégé of Leonard Bernstein who studied under him directly. This isn't true! It's demonstrably not true, and director Todd Field confirms this in interviews which means it's an important detail. Leonard Bernstein died in 1990, and this movie takes place after the pandemic (it's mentioned several times), and this mentoring relationship is temporally unlikely. Yet nobody questioned it. It should be easy to confirm that it isn't true, with records and with common sense. Does this mean the entire classical music world was deceived into elevating this woman on one easily disproven lie? How much more of her resume is false? Her unlikely stories of ethnographic fieldwork, deliberately described in detail and interwoven with her intellectual posturings, could she have simply read all these details in a book? But why? And wouldn't a journalist have picked up on any and all of these lies years before, for the most famous conductor in the world?

How much more of what she says in that interview with Adam Gopnik from the New Yorker, the real Adam Gopnik from the real New Yorker, is a complete fabrication? How about when she talks to Alec Baldwin's real podcast? Or gets tailored clothes from the real designer Egon Brandstetter, who really designed the real suits that Lydia Tàr, I mean Cate Blanchett, wears in the movie? Do these details make the movie more real, or more unreal?

How about that name, Lydia Tàr? She chose a more exotic name than Linda, we are to believe. How bout that accent mark? The accent mark that does not affect the pronounciation and is apparently just there for decoration? That accent mark on Tàr makes no fucking sense and I have always thought this from the first time I saw a promo for the movie and imagine my delight that this is on purpose! And yet nobody else, including her wife, ever refer to her as Linda, even when the tabloids are tearing her life apart? Do you think the New York Post wouldn't revel in the headline that Lydia Tàr is actually Linda Tarr from Staten Island?

What I'm saying is that all of this is unreal. It's Goncharov all the way down, kids. Tàr hashtag unreality.

What does that mean about the film Tàr? If none of what we see is plausible, does that mean the film is inaccurate and a bad movie? If the film contradicts itself on purpose, why would it do that? Does it mean the film is a daydream by a girl on Staten Island, or by a dying woman in an apartment who has to be picked up off the floor and put back in her wheelchair? Should we think of it as Lynchian, a kind of cousin to Mullholland Drive, where any reality being portrayed is not shown onscreen directly, ever?

Is it not a coherent story at all, but something else?

3. What else can a film be, besides a story?

a. A diary

b. A dream

c. A metaphor

d. A confession

e. A suicide note

f. A last will and testament

4. What is surrealism?

a) a 20th-century avant-garde movement in art and literature which sought to release the creative potential of the unconscious mind, for example by the irrational juxtaposition of images.

b) marked by the intense irrational reality of a dream

c) when stuff looks crazy and weird

5. No really, what literally happens in the film Tàr?

a. A woman gets canceled.

b. The past and the present converge—the flip sides of the same cosmic coin.

c. teshuvah: “the Talmudic power to reach back in time and transform one’s past deeds.”

d. Nothing. It's a movie.

*There's a useful phrase-- conductor of the past. Her right hand controls time. Can it speed up time? Can it slow time down? Could it even reverse the flow of time?

**Documentaries, of course, are also not necessarily the truth. They are manipulated, edited, staged. Details are selected and omitted. And, of course, the people in them can lie.

[dyiandarko]

the night we met — kyle “gaz” garrick — mlm

cw: mention of blood (light)

i cried while writing this im done for

——————

Corrupted leaders, rising tensions throughout nations, and poorly made decisions.. it all led to this moment. Your entire neighborhood fleeing, emergency alarms going off everywhere, from phones, televisions, even outside. Everybody was running to a hopeful safety.

Your husband, Kyle, had died years ago in battle, leaving you the gorgeous house you guys lived in together for years prior. You were obviously devastated by his death, becoming severely depressed and your life feeling like it was put on a standstill for months, but you were glad he wasn’t around to have to live through the world going to shit.

As you watched out your window, watching the families of the neighborhood you lived in packing up their cars and driving off, you knew it was the end you’ve hoped would be put off for as long as possible. But, you only had one place in mind, and as you walked to your car, you knew exactly where you’d be going.

You had drove until you reached a wooded area near the high school you guys went to, where you guys met at a party that was hosted in the woods, right by a cliff with a gorgeous lake that everybody swam in until sunrise. You got out of your car, looking up at the orange, smokey sky before proceeding into the area.

You walked for quite a while, taking in the familiar area. it was peaceful, until it wasn’t. You heard something soar over your head, above the treetops. Looking up, you caught a glimpse of what looked like a missile flying over you. You stood still for a second before you heard a loud explosion in the distance, flinching slightly at the sound with wide eyes.

You eventually reached the cliff, seeing the view, the lake below and the city in the distance. It reminded you of when you and him jumped off of it into the lake, sitting at the edge and drinking cheap liquors with your friends.. all too familiar.

You stood there for a while in silence, before hearing a familiar voice.

“The view’s beautiful, ain’t it?” said a familiar British accent.

You immediately whipped around, seeing the face of your husband again. You knew you were hallucinating, you saw the blood covering him, seeping out of the bullet holes. No way he could’ve been alive.

“Kyle?” you said, your voice shaky, cracking slightly. “What are you doing here..? What—“ you said, trying to make sense of everything that was happening.

“Shhh.. it’s okay. I knew I’d find you here, it’s the end, y’know? I knew you’d want to be somewhere that reminded you of us.” he said, smiling warmly as he walked up to you, his fingertips brushing against your face. His touch was cold, truly the touch of something otherworldly. He was just a mere ghost in front of you.

You closed your eyes as a tear seeped out of the corner of your left eye, rolling down your cheek.

“Hey, don’t cry, my love. Look on the bright side, we’ll meet again really, really soon. I promise, sweetheart.” he said. That sweet tone of his piercing your heart, crumbling it into pieces when you knew you couldn’t touch him, hug him, kiss him.. he was nothing but a hallucination right now, a spirit.

A second missile flew over your head, a loud roar beaming through the air, piercing your eardrums as it soared over your head in the direction of the city, which was in the distance. You immediately turned around, looking at the city that was now being hit with missiles every other second.

You felt a cold touch on the back of your neck, a shiver going up your spine at the sensation. You looked over at him.

“You’ll always be my boy, okay? I’ve always been watchin’ since I passed, I was always with you. And real soon, I’ll be able to hold you again.” he said looking at you with soft eyes, a smile on his face.

You smiled weakly, tears pouring out of your eyes, “I love you so much, Kyle.. you’ll never understand..” you said, sniffling and looking back at the city. Your eyes went wide at the sight of several bigger, brighter objects hurdling towards the city.

The cold sensation on the back of your neck was then gone. “I love you too, I’ll see you soon.” the familiar voice of your husband had replied. It then felt lonelier around you, causing you to look over.

The spot where he was once next to you was now empty. You immediately looked around, trying to see if you could locate him in the wooded area that started behind you. Suddenly, your attention was diverted to your phone when you got a government-issued alert.

“NUCLEAR MISSILE INBOUND: SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY” read the alert, the emergency alert alarm coming from your phone. You then heard multiple loud explosions, followed by a combination of bright lights and large balls of fire coming from the direction of the city you once knew and loved.

[ameliarating]

I'd like to make the argument, in the whole 'What did Non want debate', that actually neither of them are right.

Non wanted to live. He wanted to live and be loved by his boyfriend and not have totally shitty friends. And now he is dead. Maybe Non's spirit would want revenge or maybe he wouldn't. What he really wanted, he will never have because his life was stolen from him.

I always viewed Phee and New's thoughts as them manifesting their own wants onto Non.

Phee wants to move on. He loved Non and I believe some of him still does, but he was also a young boy who has already mourned the loss of this relationship. He doesn't want to murder anyone or be involved in elaborate revenge plots. So he thinks that's what Non wanted.

New wants revenge. His whole life was destroyed by these boys. He has no parents, no brother, nothing left. Non might be dead, but he is the one that is left to clean up the mess. And he thinks that destroying the people who made Non's life hell will fulfill him. And so he thinks Non wants them dead too.

Both of them might be right to some degree, like you said. But truly I think the whole irony is that Non didn't want any of this. Non just wanted to live.

I think this is a very possible read, except that here it's not clear to me that Phee was necessarily wrong. Phee, in the end, doesn't want any of this either. And since I think Phee and New play a narrative role highlighting different sides of Non (both of which we see in him alive), we actually need New to have a point.

Otherwise it's the story of a tragic and cruel older brother who completely misread his younger brother and his younger brother's reasonable ex. That's definitely a read of the story and it's the one I'm sure Phee has! But I don't think that's the horror story being told.

Towards the end of his life, before he was kidnapped, Non was absolutely fantasizing about violent revenge, to the point of a stabbing at the house. This is the part of Non that New understands.

So yes, I absolutely agree with you that both these boys are projecting their own worldview onto Non who definitely wanted to live -and not just live, but live better, as we know from the note Tee read. (Interestingly, this is the part of Non that Phee never understood, as we know from his hallucinations that he imagines Non killing himself.)

But I really think there's something to both of their projections that aren't completely disconnected from the Non they knew and loved.

[captainsophiestark]

Star Wars Masterlist

Main Masterlist

X - x reader F - Female Reader (otherwise it’s gender neutral) ☀️ - Fluff ✨ - Humor ☁️ - Angst 💙 - Platonic ⭐️ - Author Faves

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Love X ☁️☀️⭐️

Love Has Many Forms X ☁️

Meddling Best Friend F!X ☀️

The Level-Headed One X ☀️

A Bad Idea X ☀️✨

Anakin Skywalker

Catch Me If You Can X ☀️✨

Responsibility X ☀️

Blue Shadow Virus X ☁️☀️

Break Time X ☀️

Subtle Clues X ☀️✨

Gray Jedi X ☁️☀️

End of the Line X ☀️✨

Welcome to the Chaos X ☀️✨ (optional 💙)

Nothing Wrong With Emotions X ☁️☀️💙

Padmé Amidala

Tabloids X ☀️✨

Vacation X ☀️✨

The Best Kind Of Crazy X ☀️⭐️

Scavenger Hunt X 💙☀️✨

Rex

Snowed In X ☀️✨

Ahsoka Tano

Who You Gonna Call? X ☀️✨💙

Han Solo

Buckle Up X ☀️✨

Hallucinations F!X ☀️

P.S. Fuck Off X ☀️✨

Dress Clothes X ☀️

Leia Organa

Lean On Me X ☁️☀️

Not In The Spirit X ☀️

Wedge Antilles

Popcorn X ☀️✨

Finn

The Best of the Best X ☀️

Poe Dameron

Smooth Talker: Part 1 Part 2 F!X ☀️✨

Worth It X ☁️☀️

Snore X ☀️

Revenge X ☀️✨

Error, Flight Not Possible X ☀️✨

Always Be Prepared X ☀️

[snailchasers-den]

How does starclan reacts to Spottedleaf's lies?

Super sorry for answering this so late, I've been super busy LMAO I try to answer asks as quickly as I can, so thank you for being so patient!

This will contain some spoilers for my fic, even if I might tweak some things before then, so know this is subject to some possible changes! It'll also contain some mild horror and themes of being watched, so fair warning!

It's nothing big at first, for a while she actually flies comfortably under the radar, the problem only really starts getting recognized by Starclan once they tell the clan the false prophecy, uncomfortably close to before whenever Spotted receives the 'Fire will save our clan' one, and gets worse once Yellowfang gets there and starts working alongside her. A lot of the plan hindered on the only other medicine cat around being her and her apprentice, so Yellowfang appearing threw a massive wrench in things. Yellowfang does agree not to reveal the fact she's faking her and Tigerclaw's prophecy, but can't promise she'll be able to keep her safe from everything that may come her way because of it.

She starts to avoid the night sky after that, doing her best to only go out during the day, or when the stars are hidden by clouds. But that doesn't always help her when she starts to feel watched near constantly. She's not exactly sure if it's a manifestation of guilt or Starclan themselves, at the time, but she starts to have dreams if not hallucinations of silent starclan cats, just... Watching as she tries to gather herbs. It's extremely rare for Starclan to decend from the sky, much less for no good reason. They don't tell you how dead and lightless an otherwise glittering Starclan cat's eyes can look when they stare at you so blankly. Nothing proves they're no longer alive more than that.

Yellowfang tries to comfort her through the days, but she out of anybody can tell it's starting to weigh on her- She does her best to make her feel a bit more secure, but having another cat with Starclan's gifts so nearby only makes things more unsettling.

Starclan is very different in this AU, being a lot more reserved and ominous, much closer to a coalescence of all the spirits of their ancestors that started having their lines between eachother smudged long ago. The clans have this image of ethereal starry passed family members who watch over them and keep them safe, but if you look deeper, there's something beneath the surface. They don't actively try to stop Spottedleaf, since this is likely a new type of crime, faking a prophecy not for power, but for something as simple and small as love, so instead they just judge. They know she knows they're watching her, and they plan to keep doing it until she dies, even if she tries to shut Starclan out of her mind later.

She does start trying to shut out Starclan once she realizes she's pregnant with Tigerclaw's kit. She knows the clan will see them as something special due to the prophecy that allowed them to be born 'within the code', and she doesn't need twice the stress with Starclan still lingering around her during the whole thing. Unfortunately, with her having such a strong connection with Starclan, and Tigerclaw having his own ties to it for wildly different reasons, their son ends up having a much, much higher connection than a majority of medicine cats do, even from a young age. Spotted isn't sure whether they passed it down to him, or if Starclan felt a bit sadistic and decided to play along for now, but for a while, the starry figures that stalk her through the forest seem to dissipate. She can't tell why, though, but she can feel in her bones that they'll be back for her.

Tigerclaw doesn't have a direct link with Starclan, but he does actually get his own glimpses of them, though his seem to be more based in malice. They've obviously never been too fond of him, and since Pinestar refused to kill him as a kit, they've let that demand go, but a lingering distaste for him never faded. He's been plagued with nightmares his entire life, but something about the ones he started getting once Starclan discovered their lie seemed to be less copy-paste with a few adjustments, and more personal. Deeper cutting and more unnerving. Ones he couldn't shake even with Spottedleaf at his side every night.

[kowaindar0u]

//

so. post-reimei thoughts. probably some minor spoilers but nothing super shocking or important. also, i will warn, yuichi's been to... very dark places, emotionally/mentally that could be triggering. i'm not gonna write about it in detail or anything but just a heads up!

well, for one, i have such a love-hate relationship with the way tkrb is so vague/open-ended about a lot of things LOL like the possibilities are endless but i'm stupid and also i get stressed about "oh what if i make something that doesn't fit" so i get myself in a locked situation thought-wise which is STUPID because thats the POINT of it being WIIIDE OPEN SPAAACES yknow!!!! but brains are idiots unfortunately lol

.... that being said,,

i like the whole... "had inklings of spiritual sensitivity/power for a while before it fully manifested" thing. i'd been thinking that's how i'd go with yuichi as it's reminiscent of like... mutants in x-men LOL

and, the fact that if one has those inklings, it's possible to reach out to/be reached out to by a touken danshi in some manner? or, i wonder, perhaps even manifest a tsukumogami spirit from something by then?

So, i guess with all that in mind

yuichi's life was, like, just... very unremarkable LOL. I don't think anything immensely bad happened to him, nor did anything positive of particular note, yknow? but even the mundane tends to overwhelm him and always has, and by the time he was an adult, his anxieties had kept him from really, like, branching out, taking chances, making many close friends, leaving the house unless absolutely necessary for work, etc. He was heavily depressed and quite lonely, but he felt It was nobody's fault but his own.

Zooming in toward the end of his "regular human" life:

So. he's got himself into a pit--or maybe more like a trench-- of despair. His entire psyche just ached, and if he thought too hard about his life and existence he would just break down and cry or throw himself into a panic attack. He doesn't eat enough, and sleeps way too much, when he's not lying awake ruminating in self-deprecation.

And then... things just start getting loud. It's worse outside, which has him leaving the house even less. It's like a ringing in his ears, layered over what seems like whispers. He's pretty sure he's just finally going insane from only being with himself so much.

One day he decides to leave the house. He hasn't been able to work lately, all things considered, and so he's running out of time for basic needs, and he cannot find a way in which anything gets better. He wants to find some place quiet-- but it's hard. Memories, spiritual energy, etc are everywhere, after all.

By the time he gets to the pier, it's raining, and he's a mess. He had every intention of climbing over that railing and just giving up. He's gripping the metal bars and screaming internally at himself to just do it already, and --

A surge of...something racks his brain, and had he not been holding the railing he'd have probably dropped to the ground.

In front of him now, just over the railing, is what looks like... a rip in the air...? through it, he can see swirls of color rushing by.

Oh, he thinks. This is it. I've finally cracked. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is.

He's a little bit curious, even though he's telling himself this is just a hallucination or something. He's not even sure he can jump that far. But what does it matter? He came here to do that anyway.

So... he shakily clambers over the railing, takes in a deep breath, and jumps, reaching for that rip. Its edges seem to come to his hands instead, and he grabs on, somehow able to pull himself up and through the rip, and into the rushing tunnel of colors...

Only to get ran the fuck over by someone on a weird boat, ala the time travel sequence in hanamaru movie 1 !!

i don't know who it is atm but safe to say some poor toudan has to drag an unconscious yuichi onto his boat and bring him back to their citadel or the govt with him LOL

And from there... well, he learns everything he was hearing, was the result of latent spiritual abilities activating, and in his lowest, most distressed moment they sort of burst out, puncturing or pulling on the time-space pathway and making a hole... and the rest is history (pun intended)

maybe one day i'll write this out proper and add it to his bio. for now it's just gonna be in his tag cause i'm not very good at writing bios lol it's so awkward

ANYWAY i hope this made some kind of sense LOL?? and also that it isn't too depressing... he's better now... still plagued with depression and the gloominess but he is very loved <3 also after writing this it's so funny to me that he ... like... didn't really feel he had anything to go back to, so while as a formality there probably was a kind of ..."offer" of employment or whatever, and probably (definitely) some kind of rest period to make sure he was like... stable, lol... but other than that, he just kind of went from literally almost going off the deep end, to Saniwa

there was not really a "hmmm let me think about it and i'll get back to you" period he's just like "i think your confidence that i can do this is unearned but i don't really have a choice"

[glapplebloom]

Can the Joker end the cycle? Can he even participate in it?

I’m pretty sure everyone knows who the Joker is, but do you know the Smile Entity? This was written prior to Smile 2, so if there is any new content from that I do not know at the time of this writing but from what I do know, it is a sort of spirit that haunts and traumatizes its victim until it is ready to kill them, and does so in a way where they traumatize someone right after to repeat the cycle.

So what would happen if a victim of the Smile entity somehow tried to pass the curse along to the Joker. Yeah, that is probably where the curse ends considering I don’t think it is possible to traumatize the guy. Between multiple backstories even he doesn’t know which is real and the fact he is immune to Fear Toxin, something that does a lot of similar things to the Smile Entity, I doubt it’ll affect him much.

And let’s say he does indeed somehow infect the Joker. The cure to not die from it is to cause trauma to other people. Trauma is what most people have if they somehow manage to survive a Joker caper. So even if he was to be infected, he would most likely speedrun the curse and have it passed on to some other fool without even realizing it. Heck, he’ll probably do so on such a large scale there’s no way no more than one person would be traumatized...

And I think I figured out the ending of Smile 2. Since it is targeting a celebrity who does concerts, I have a feeling she’s going to off herself in front of her large crowd. So what happens then? I’m pretty sure more than one person will be traumatized after seeing that. Thus, the Curse will be spread to more people 

EDIT: Written after the movie’s release

Yep. Exactly called it. But honestly nothing changes with my thoughts. It still needs trauma to transfer to others, and I doubt you can give the Joker any sort of trauma. And even if he somehow manages to get infected, he would most likely not be affected by the hallucinations and maybe spread the curse unintentionally since killing others is his bag. And being temporarily dead also works for him. 

So the Smile Entity would not be with the Joker for long. He’s either going to be a dead end or passed on so quickly you wonder why was the Joker even there.

[cesar-ramon]

“You know what —?” Cesar began, but he was quickly silenced by his own guilt and reticence. It wasn’t polite to make fun of a dead girl, even when said dead girl was roasting him. Joss being the first intelligent haunting he’d come across meant something and he knew it. Even if he didn’t know why or how, there was a feeling inside Cesar that told him things were happening the way they were for a reason. Thought it had only been a few hours, Cesar noted somewhere in the back of his mind that it had been a few hours without the wailing of trapped spirits or the haunting faces of the damn that lingered in the corners of rooms. Were they afraid of Joss? Was it because she was a witch? Or maybe it was because a residual haunting couldn’t be around an intelligent one? Whatever the reason, Cesar found himself relieved for the moment of reprieve. 

As they finally arrived on a beaten path, Cesar couldn’t help but give Joss a knowing look. “ Okay, I gotta fuckin’ say it — you know this is a little on the nose, right? Like a hooked nose with warts. Maybe old, greenish flesh on that hooked nose?” He smirked. “I mean, I heard of off grid living and shit like that, but this is…” He chuckled to end his sentence, his point made. Instead he took in the scenery of the day as it shifted to afternoon like slow creeping vines that covered a castle in due time. The days always seemed slower to him than they used to when he was young. He never felt like he had enough time. He was always on stage, on the road, running around doing things without so much as a moment to sit and take in the calm of his surroundings. Now? Now he had nothing but time, and he hated it.

Coming upon her home was like seeing Joss for the first time as something other than a hallucination. A part of Cesar still doubted his own sanity, and even though he had more than proved his ability to read minds was true, he still felt iffy on the ghost things.

Still, she had a house. She hadn’t led him to an empty lot or some cliff to push him off of or anything his mind could fearfully cling to. It was just a house. She was real. Both then, and now.

The beaten path had led them past old, rundown shacks that told of a bygone era when people lived hidden away in the bayou in a then undeveloped, rural New Orleans. When people were untethered to society and the world was small and only around them. It seemed like such a peaceful state of being that Cesar almost envied those times before cell phones and TV. In a way, he could understand why Joss chose to be away from all the madness in the world.

Stepping inside her place, the smell was an assault to his noses. A light coat of dust covered everything. Kicking up when the gust of wind from the swinging door disturbed it. Cesar sneezed, turning his head to let it catch on his coat before he looked around. There was a damp smell, like something wet had been left to mildew under the belief that she would get to it later, but never did. That thought made him sad. He felt a new wave of pity for Joss at that moment. Cesar looked around and had a vision of himself leaving his apartment on day —- the dishes unwashed in the sink, an old Chinese food box left on the old, second hand coffee table with the contents half eaten and beginning to stink. He imagined telling himself that he would throw it away when he came home only to have someone else find it. He pictured Gabriel — his closest friend and possibly the only person who would notice he was missing, coming to his place to clean up and finding dirty clothes on the floor of the closet and toothpaste hardened in the sink….

Cesar cleared his throat. “ This is nice.” He said, his voice cracking a bit from the sadness he inflicted on himself. He wanted even more now to help Joss. He realized that a residual haunting was far easier than this. What she must be going through, he couldn’t fathom. 

“Uh, thanks, yeah…. I’ll… I’ll take a look.” He said as he tried to keep his voice even. Cesar took tentative steps into her home, for some reason feel the need to wipe his feet by the door to avoid tracking mud and dirt inside. He slowly eased forward, taking stock of Joss through her belongings. Her knick knacks were somehow what he expected of her, but they told a story of her likes and dislikes. It was a jarring thing to remember that there are people out there with whole entire lives they’ve lived. Cesar being the main character of his own life and being a man with few connections in New Orleans, had forgotten to smell the roses for a while now. A mistake he wouldn’t make again if he could help it.

His slow venture into the deeper parts of her hope saw Cesar often glancing over his shoulder as Joss for a sign that it was okay to keep moving. He touched nothing, but on occasion paused to take a long look at a photo posted nearby or take note of the books she kept around. When he finally made it to the kitchen, he looked back again to seek her silent approval before he made his way to the fridge and tugged the door open.

Inside there were no old takeout boxes or foul smells like his fridge — it was exactly what he’d expect of a girl. He bent down and looked inside at the milk, which was still good to drink, and at the fruits, which were only just starting to turn a little brown of get spots. It was nothing that bothered him as he could easily cut the pad part of an apple off and consume the rest. 

Popping open the freezer, he noticed ice cream and practically began to drool. “ What did you do… You know, before? For money… This is a pretty well stocked fridge for what I’m guessing is a Gen Z?” He said with a sideways glance at her. Her face had a useful appearance to it, which made Cesar feel just a bit like a creep for his earlier thoughts and comments when he remembered the silver hairs that were beginning to sprout from his mess of curls and untidy beard. 

Laziness and immaturity won him over as he plucked the half eaten container of ice cream from the freeze and nudged it shut. He moved to the drawers and found a spoon, turning on the sink — “Water still works,” and giving it a quick rinse to rid it of dust before he dug in. 

Joss scoffed, giving no room for another snide comment at how right he thought he might be for the words could not form in her head. She even felt like she could give up at that point, a sudden dip in the urge to finally let something go, but it was short lived. An open, crooked smile formed in her mouth and stayed there, watching as he pulled an imaginary pen from the crook of his ear to write on an equally invisible notepad in thin air. “When you’re done writing a list of all those jokes maybe you should write a song, too.” Her eyes rolled, a common occurrence now as they crossed the threshold of leaves and cover of long hanging tree branches to reveal a small cottage of a home.

In an ideal world, someone’s first introduction to her home would be under less scrutiny given that they would have known nothing about her supernatural status - but she was no longer afforded that luxury. Her home, albeit probably exactly what he would have pictured outside of a black and tattered shack meant to lure children, was still as cozy and quaint as she’d remembered however long ago that may have been. Not many people had seen it, under the condition that she wanted them to it was otherwise shielded by a spell that kept it under somewhat of a concealment, not that he would have noticed a difference given she’d led him right through it.

He seemed to be enjoying himself too much to the point where his hunger and its lingering impact of anger subsided for short moments, amused by one of the many things she had said to him. It was nice to hear him laugh even if she’d known him for a short while, and the smile on his face was warm and charming. It made sense why he had such a hard time with women, for when he lacked such warmth his dead eyes and stern mouth made him look withdrawn and nearly lifeless- not anything like how he looked to her now. Joss returned the warmth as she looked back at him, more inclined to share his joy now that he’d seemed more hopeful in the belief that she was all that she said she was.

“Oh I will, you don’t have to worry about that.” she didn’t want to fuss over it, or think on it until it was absolutely important. It still felt sour and stung, especially now that she couldn’t sate the nostalgia of returning home, feeling and smelling everything around her for herself. Her hand lifted softly and unlocked the door, leading the way as they made their way through her home, which seemed to open up the further they entered. “Well…..this is it.” Everything was left untouched, a jacket hanging over the end of her couch where she’d left it, an open book on the table beside it. “No black cats or cauldrons but it’s a home. And I don’t have to pay rent on it, so.” There were logs still in the fireplace, and she made a point to start as they walked by, illuminating the room even though the many windows brought in the light from outside. Through the living room into the kitchen she led him, feeling for the first time in a long time that she might be safe.

Suddenly very grateful that the last thing he’d done was having been uncharacteristically clean and done her dishes, the sink was empty. “You’ll have to tell me what in my fridge isn’t expired - I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve been away.” She wondered, half worried to check herself even if she could open the fridge with a wave of her hand. It simply couldn’t have been that long. “I mean, take whatever you want, in the cabinets there’s a ton of shit I know is still good. I don’t know how much of a chef you are but you’re welcome to whatever you want. When you’re done with that I have a bunch of sweaters that I’m sure would fit you if you want to change into something different. There’s also wine in the lower cabinets that I’m jealous I can’t enjoy with you, but you’re welcome to that, too.”

[flokali]

Take your time with your exams and assignments! For the request, I'd just like to hear your thoughts about the cult reacting to you being narcoleptic (or just a generally very sleepy person if you don't feel comfortable writing this)? Like, I'd imagine them fearing that you be slipping off to a few more centuries of sleep and they couldn’t do anything about it ^^ have a great day!

I… I’m so sorry this took so long? I genuinely thought I had answered this but I checked and I hadn’t? And ah; thank you! I’m on a week long break for now with no work/studying but after that it’s basically just grinding until the last few days of November… pain.

I ended up going with a narcoleptic! reader, their reaction wouldn’t be too different with a sleepy reader (since they’re all pretty dramatic considering you’re literally their God).

As always, more under the read more!

They’d be terrified since your original incarnation had been described to have gone into “endless slumber”, and some people took it literally, to the point whenever you pass out it’s often you’ll have someone by your side obsessively checking your pulse and breathing.

It’s gotten to the point Baizhu is always within your vicinity alongside Barbara and Albedo to make sure you aren’t dying, even if you explain to them you have a condition and that it’s not equivalent to death — they won’t budge.

Don’t you know how long they’ve waited for you? How much they’ve been aching to be by your side? They know there’s nothing you can do but give them the peace of mind of letting them fuss over and check your body to make sure you're alright.

Even showing the slightest hint of drowsiness is met with concerned looks and worried whispers, Jean will (ironically) insist you rest as she has Amber take care of things you might need, the stronger acolytes will carry you — mainly Childe, Kaeya, Diluc, and Zhongli — around to make sure you don’t tire yourself further, even if you explain it’s not really necessary they’ll take every and all possibilities to get close to you. The younger kids will try their best to not tire you out even though none of what they’re doing is necessarily going to prevent your condition.

Lisa will encourage daily teatime with her, while others such as Ningguang and Baal intrude in her alone time with you, to try and introduce stimuli so you don’t get too drowsy and so that she can keep an eye on you just in case.

Even Venti and Kazuha, two of the more free spirited followers, hesitate to take you outside your temple and teapot in fear you’ll pass out and that help won’t be near. Razor is constantly on high alert, he’s probably also memorized your scent to the point he’s able to tell when you’re about to faint or if your drowsiness is too much. He becomes your shadow following you around and always ready to call for help in case things get complicated.

In the case your narcolepsy gets to the point you start having hallucinations, prepare to have someone by your side 24/7 – literally, not even the bathroom is safe as they excuse their behavior with fear and worry.

This task will mostly be filled by Zhongli – since he’s the acolyte with the most free time – but if you want, Lumine and Aether are always willing to stay by your side.

The more adventurous ones will pity you, but then again it’s not like they would have taken God on their journeys – not when your mortal body was significantly unprepared for the harshness of Teyvat — but that won’t stop them from telling you tales of the outside world, talking as if your condition stopped you from being able to even just leave the house.

In their eyes though, it’s kind of cute — they’d never tell you that, but seeing you sleepy and in need of help always awakens… something in a few of your devotees. Not that they’d tell you, of course.