#I had to trim this down because I hit tumblrs word limit

[waldosakimbo]

OH MY GOD Heretic (2024) has me by the throat. I feel like this one is definitely worth rewatching, because it TELLS you so much, it advertises SO MUCH right away, and it's sinister how it plays out!

Does Sister Barnes have faith? Does Sister Paxton actually believe she's seen evidence of god from, hilariously, some amateur porn? You're given the idea Sister Paxton believes more but she has no converts and no baptisms. Sister Barnes is questioning, but she's more successful. Why is that? (Is it the big sad eyes?) When they spot the teenagers in the street and Sister Paxton earnestly says "I love them," they immediately betray her. She loves the world. Its cruel. She wants to save this man. He's cruel. Faith and cruelty. Iterations. The butterfly image. The dead moths coating the window. Belief and disbelief and god damn it's tasty. Quick aside, did anyone else think he drugged those drinks or not? I worried initially, but I think it was genuinely just another one of his tests for later. Also it's insidious how Reed tells them "truths." He tells them the walls and ceiling have metal but they don't know that would block cell phones. He tells them the front door locks by a mechanism timer that doesn't come undone until daylight, (but he can switch it off). He tells them the house is wired weird. He tells them he put the aromatic pie there, he tests them, and it's so. Good! So when he tells them about religion, his motivations, his study of theology, and the challenge from Sister Barnes (the faithless? Who choses Belief and stands up to him? Who has her throat slit as the sacrificial lamb? Beautiful, tragic) is the other side of that. The flipside of the coin. Hugh Grant is AMAZING in this, because he's Hugh Granting it up but instead of a comedy, it's a horror. Unsettling to the max. Why? Because it's just the power of humanity and faith. It's JUST. The power. Of humanity. And Faith. It's nothing supernatural. It's using knowledge, history, the arts, humanity and psychology. As a weapon. Longlegs fell short for me because it was eventually supernatural and I thought it clunky and mishandled in the second half. This one? It's just humans. It's just an evil man. And it's visceral. More grounded, which makes it Terrifying. Even when faced with a miracle, we learn it's false. It's a magic trick. Even when we could pray, we're told BY THE PERSON. WHO IS FAITHFUL, that it means nothing, but sometimes it's beautiful to still pray for someone. Which brings me to the point where Sister Paxton was stabbed and praying in level...three? of his twisted Dante's inferno house? Actually, quick aside to that, I love the back and forth of quoting Spider-Man or Voltaire. Quoting Virgil or the Swamp Thing. It's again putting them on opposite sides, another mirror. But also showing the house itself as a labyrinth, yes, but specifically I think that was Dante's Inferno poster in his office, making Paxton Virgil, travelling the levels of Hell to the frozen pit/horrifying chamber of cages where he keeps other pious women, going Through to get Out. "Sister P" Is praying even though she Just said it does nothing. Reed crawling towards her, his own throat slit. But there's this moment where he's draped over her, sobbing or choking, looking for the warmth of her prayer, I think trying to feel her belief because he's been searching for it for so long and he's left empty. Before he can find peace (or kill her, did he have his knife to her throat to kill her? I think he would, but I still think he had this moment where he wished he could believe to find peace with someone, especially after seeing that interview where Grant stated backstory of Reed that he was a lonely man who lost someone dearly to him and he searched through religions to find comfort and couldn't) he's killed. He's smashed in the head with the McGuffin from earlier. Victory. Did Barnes come back? I think she was saving her strength and had one final moment to help her friend. And then that fucking ending. Is she dead? Is she alive? Was the butterfly real? Did she believe? Is it only her belief, her butterfly, or is a final hallucination before she passes? Did she make it out of Hell? Anyways, I'm going to have to see this again soon. Delicious. Horrifying. Loved it.

[twokinkybeans]

Il Ristorante [A Spin-Off To ‘Tempio Di Pietro’ & ‘Jar Of Dirt’]

Summary: It’s midwinter, and Peter feels frustrated that he can’t seem to get into his Cupido headspace now that his Italian island is off-limits. MJ has an idea to help him and Tony out. Or: Tony and Peter have another threesome with MJ. Tags/warnings: Nff, Roleplay, God Worship Kink, Threesome F/M/M (find a full list of tags on AO3). Notes: Lien and I are beyond excited to finally share this piece with you! It’s a continuation of Tempio Di Pietro / a new part of our Ti Amo series (find here). We decided to update this as soon as we hit a 1K Tumblr followers, so here we are!! Thank you all so much for your continued support. We love you <3 ps. Tony and Peter are in an established long term relationship. Their feelings for MJ are purely platonic.

Read this fic on AO3

-

IL RISTORANTE

“Peter…” MJ’s voice trails off and Peter feels his cheeks heat up slightly. They’re sitting on the floor of MJ’s new, but still very much empty loft. After she had troubles with the heating system in her dorm room and Peter overheard her conversation with her racist landlord he knew he had to get her out of there. Tony agreed, and they happily funded MJ’s new home. They just finished taking the measurements of the space and figured they had some time left to just sit and chat before going to IKEA to meet up with Tony there. Somehow, the conversation had drifted to… Well, Cupido. “Don’t you remember the note I wrote to you on your birthday? The one that came with my presents? You can do this.” “I know, I just…” Peter sighs, fiddling with his fingers as he tries to find the right words. He knows that MJ is right, but… “I just don’t want to let him down.”

MJ’s lips curl into a sympathetic smile and she leans in to bump her shoulder into his. Peter snorts, the playful gesture comforting and grounding. Gosh, he wants her to be right. He’s been craving it, but now that it’s winter, there’s no fun in going to the Italian island. Either he waits, or he tries at home. In New York. The thought alone feels wrong. Cupido and New York just… don’t mingle together very well. Oh, how he misses Tony’s sweet devotion sometimes. Of course, he gets his fair share of sex. Tony and he literally can’t keep their hands off each other. Peter loves it. He’s the subbiest sub he knows of. It’s just that being Cupido settles something else, deep, very deep inside of him. There’s something about Tony’s undivided attention and adoration that just feels so wonderfully magical.  “What if…” MJ mumbles slowly. “What if you try it in a nice, Italian restaurant, and-” “But MJ, I-” “No, no. Hear me out,” MJ grins and raises a finger at him. Peter presses his lips together and tries to keep the laughter from bubbling up in his throat. It’s funny how she still holds the reins in all of this. “I didn’t mean one of those cheap pizza places- bless them- but rather one of those classy, high-end spots. Tony would pay for that without having to think twice.”

MJ pauses for a moment and shifts where she sits against the wall. Something about her posture changes and by the gods, Peter realizes what she’s trying to do. Her beautiful, thick curls brush past his lower arm and she leans back slightly.  “Can’t you imagine it, Peter?” MJ’s voice is dreamy and soft. “The warm glow of the lights- almost like the midnight sun sinking into the sea. Lush greenery all around you, accompanied by statues. Lots, and lots of statues. Hard chest, strong abs, but Tony wouldn’t see them as his eyes are focused on you and you alone.” Peter’s breath hitches at her description. He can do nothing but stare at her as she speaks and continues her fantasy. “Soft, Italian tunes in the background. Probably some romantic, passionate but slow guitar songs. Maybe even some organetto songs. You could listen to that while you taste the savory food, rich in texture and flavor and spices too. And Tony? He’d offer it all to you.” “Oh fuck, MJ.”

Peter can imagine it all now. The vision in his mind includes their servant too. He sees Tony’s big, brown, pleading eyes. So loving and full of admiration it has Peter’s heart swell with love and joy every single time. MJ licks her lips and raises a hand to trail her finger over Peter’s cheek. The gentle, barely-there contact sets of a series of shivers down his spine. His mouth opens in a silent gasp and he stares at her. Completely entranced. “H-how do you do this, so… So easily?” He mumbles and tries to ignore the way his cheeks flare up at her obvious flirtation.  It’s almost funny how platonic their love for each other is and yet when MJ’s demeanor shifts he’s weak. “Mmmmh, turn into Aphrodite you mean?” Her voice is soft, yet rough around the edges, a deep, sultry tone that is playful yet ever so serious. “Yeah…” MJ lifts his chin. “Because she’s a part of me. She’s right there, for me to access whenever. Just as Cupido is inside you.” Her hand slides down from his face onto his chest and it rests in the place where he can almost feel his own beating heart pounding within his ribcage. “Close your eyes.”

Peter easily obeys the Goddess’- no, MJ’s- command. He hopes MJ can’t feel his crazy heartbeat. Or maybe, he hopes she does. Something about her gentle fingers is so different when she gets like this. They’re still soft and sweet, yet so demanding. He waits for her to say something, but she doesn’t. It’s just her hand on his heart, and the words she spoke playing in his head over and over again. 

He’s this close to feeling it. Peter knows Cupido is there somewhere, but the God remains ever so out of reach; slipping right through Peter’s fingers. He sighs and opens his eyes again. Slowly he puts his hands over MJ’s and smiles faintly. “I know you’re right, but I just can’t do it…” he mutters. He’s not exactly frustrated. He just doesn’t understand what is keeping him from accessing his godly mindset. It’s- 

Okay, it is a little frustrating. 

MJ hums quietly, resting her head on top of his shoulder.  “You’ll get there, Pete. Trust me.” “Yeah.” He presses his lips together, resting his own head on top of hers. “What time is it, anyway? I don’t wanna keep Tony waiting at IKEA too long now.” “Let him wait,” MJ chuckles, “-just five good minutes of Tony Stark, billionaire, to be seen at IKEA and have people wonder whether it’s truly him.” “You’re a sadist.”

MJ simply smirks.

-

The second Tony’s eyes fall on their designated table, he knows that there’s more going on than just a simple date night with his boyfriend. A fancy place like this would never set a table for three for a couple by accident. One look at Peter’s flustered face is enough to confirm his suspicions that something is off. Something is going to happen. The man glances at his surroundings once more. It’s… Italian. Very Italian, in fact. Tony swallows. “How’d you find this place?” He asks and tries to ignore the way his voice falters. He isn’t sure what’s happening but he’s thrilled. He’s curious. Excited. He wants to… He wants to take care of Peter. Or rather, devote himself to a certain young god. “Google,” Peter quips a little too fast. Tony knows it’s highly unlikely that innocent Peter Parker found a place like this on Google. It’s simply too expensive to show up on the first couple of pages. The white calacatta marble tables with golden lining are the very proof of that. As are the simple, yet rustic grey farmhouse chairs. Clearly high-quality elmwood. The seats padded with supple leather for more comfort compared to a regular wooden chair. The soft piano music fills Tony’s ears and it’s accompanied by the soft splashing of the fountain in the middle of the dining area.

“Mmmh,” Tony hums to counter Peter’s excuse and sits down on one of the chairs, sighing in content as the seat is indeed as nice as he expected. Peter hurries after him and sits down opposite him. The boy takes a deep breath and straightens his shoulders. Tony wonders what Peter is up to. Italy and Italian things, in general, mean something to them, and it has Tony slightly confused. Peter never wants anything to do with that in America. Or rather, is too anxious to try it. Peter isn’t insensitive at all so there’s no possible way that he picked this place by accident. Are they… Trying it again? Tony sniffs. “So, what’s with the third plate?” “What?” “The third plate,” Tony leans back against the backrest and tries to stay clear-headed. He has to wait. Wait and see. Peter presses his lips together. God, he seems so tense.  “Well…” Peter starts. His brows have curled together in a frown at this point and the boy licks his lips nervously. That’s about enough, Tony reckons. He’s already feeling the familiar tingle in his chest so he might as well indulge Peter, even if he’s too flustered to say the obvious. He’s trying. For Tony. So, Tony will help. Tony swiftly gets up from his chair and moves to stand behind Peter, who looks up startled. “It’s okay, Pete, you don’t have to tell me everything.” Tony’s hands creep up to rest on Peter’s shoulders and squeeze softly. “Let me help you.” Peter can only stare at the cutlery in front of him. He gasps quietly when Tony’s hand creeps up into his hair, caressing where he would have his crown if they were in Italy. “Tony?” Peter stutters and his boyfriend leans in to let his neatly trimmed beard scratch the shell of Peter’s ear. “Yes, my Lord?” Peter squeezes his eyes shut and stifles a moan, when suddenly… “I see you’re already getting started without me?” Both Tony and Peter are popped out of their little bubble and they look up, jaws dropping at the sight in front of them. MJ. In what could only be described as a golden dress. Her hair is neatly curled into a half updo, with strands playfully yet purposefully draped to frame her face. Her wrists jingle with the many golden bracelet rings they’re carrying and on top of her head rests a golden crown. Both men feel like there’s no more air to breathe and it’s only when MJ winks and steps closer that they’re shaken out of their trance. “Aphrodite?” The name slips from Tony’s lips before he could think it through and MJ simply smiles. “I’m guessing that’s a ‘yes’ on the outfit?” “Yes,” Tony and Peter reply in unison, breathlessly. “You’re- holy- you’re stunning,” Peter stammers, still staring wide-eyed and only now realizing how deep the V cleavage actually goes. Her skin radiates warmth, as if she’s the sun and her cheeky smile snaps Peter back to reality. “Why, thank you.” MJ nods curtly and opens her small designer bag. “I would say I aim to please… Though, that’s more your job, isn’t it?” She eyes Tony, who sucks in a breath. “Take a seat, Tony. We have things to discuss.” “Things?” Peter questions as Tony makes his way back to his chair, fumbling and stumbling as the mask of the put together billionaire has dropped. “Well... “ MJ reveals a small hourglass from the bag and places it in the middle of the table. She turns to Tony and leans forward, elbows resting on the table. “See, Tony, we have a bit of a problem.” “Oh?” Tony cocks an eyebrow and steals a quick glance at Peter, who shrugs confused. “All of us know he can do it.” MJ bites her lip and her hair dances as she quickly flicks her head to Peter. “But he just can’t get there.” “You’re saying it as if I need Viagra,” Peter scoffs as he leans back, crossing his arms. MJ chuckles. “Petey-boy, I’m trying to be sexy here, don’t ruin the mood.” MJ drops one of her hands on the table and snakes it to the hourglass to toy with it. Peter’s eyes fixate on the sand swirling around as she topples and twists it. “You said you wanted this. For Tony. For you. We will get you there, Peter. By the end of this dinner, you will be our Cupido again.” She bites the inside of her cheek and side-eyes Tony. “Are we all green?” Tony nods, face scrunching together as he swallows with his dry throat. “Green,” he mumbles immediately. MJ looks back at Peter whose shoulders have raised to tuck his head down in shame. He’s uncomfortable. Scared. MJ audibly sucks at her teeth and leans in a bit more, fingers letting go of the hourglass so she can reach for Peter. She pats the table twice, trying to coach any reply out of him, but he keeps staring at his hands in his lap. “Peter?” “Yellow,” he whispers. Tony immediately stands up again to get closer to his boyfriend. “May I?” he asks before wrapping an arm around him. Peter nods and smiles crooked at the warm embrace. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for, okay? We’re just gonna have a fun time and if something happens, it happens. If not, then that’s completely fine too. Okay?” Peter nods again, slightly, and sighs.

“I don’t want to disappoint you.” “When have you ever?” Tony chuckles. “Well, there was that one time with the Vulture-” “Nope, nuh-uh, not doing this.” Tony squeezes Peter tightly to him. “How old were you even back then? Fourteen?” “Fifteen.” “Also, did you hear yourself? ‘that one time,’ huh?” MJ butts in with a smirk. “You never disappoint, Pete. And you won’t tonight. Doesn’t matter whose bed we end up in or what we end up doing. The goal is for us to feel good. Like, good good.” MJ raises her eyebrows playfully as she presents the menu. “All of us.” “I know,” Peter mumbles, taking the menu from MJ’s hands. “Please, don’t get me wrong, I do want this. So much. I’m just… Nervous, I guess?” Tony presses his lips against Peter’s temple in a soft kiss. “That’s okay, Pete. Take all the time you need.” Peter nods gratefully. “Thank you.” He then quickly looks up and straightens his back. “Please, though, indulge yourselves. Maybe… Maybe that’ll make it easier for me to join in.” ...

“Sooo…” MJ sing songs softly. “What are we feeling tonight?” Tony purses his lips and looks at Peter for a second. “Not sure, to be honest. All of it sounds good,” he ponders as he lets his eyes glide over the words. “Not really fancying anything specifically right now.” “Fair,” MJ replies casually. “Although you know these dishes better than either of us. What would you recommend?” She pauses. “What would please us most?” Tony presses his lips together as he scans the menu again. His black slacks are surely loose enough to cover his already growing hard-on, yet the fabric strains around it as well. It’s a nice, warm, tingly feeling that coils in the depths of his stomach. Like a small candle flame. Nothing spectacular, but it could grow into a massive fire if left unguarded. Tony has a feeling he’ll lose himself tonight.

“If I may,” he starts quietly and smiles at his boyfriend who looks at him with familiar curiosity, “-I would recommend you try the osso buco. And for the lady,” he continues and shifts his gaze at MJ, whose smirk is ever so evident. She’s so calm. So gentle. “-I think the cacciucco would suit your taste perfectly. Although if you prefer something heavier, the bigoli would serve you just as well.” “Mh,” MJ reads the descriptions in the menu. “I think the seafood is a good call. You know me too well, caro.”

It’s not soon after that the waiter, who is almost unfairly handsome as well, brings them their chosen dishes. Served with a nice-looking olive and mushroom salad in an earthy-brown ceramic bowl. Tony can’t help the pang of nostalgia unfolding in his chest when he smells the food on his own plate. He did end up ordering the bigoli. As he had every single summer when he was still a young boy. Nothing screamed Italy more than the rich smell of red wine and wild duck- as much as other people might dislike it. To him, it was comfort food. “Buon appetito,” he smiles and carefully takes the right pieces of silver cutlery to scoop up a spoon filled with sauce. He blows, lightly, trying to cool it since steam is still emerging from the liquid, and then he wraps his lips around the silverware and moans. “Oh, this is good-” he mumbles and uses his fork to twist some of the bigoli onto his spoon until the strands no longer threaten to fall off.

“Eager,” MJ teases and brings her own spoon towards her lips. “A little too eager, don’t you think, Pete?” Peter looks up from his plate as if MJ was a teacher catching him doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. He glances at Tony and then back at MJ. “Hm?” “Remind me, how would dining go with you two on the island?” MJ smirks and leans her elbows on the table, breaking etiquette. It doesn’t matter that it would be considered inappropriate to sit like that at a restaurant like this, with the amount of confidence making her skin practically glow. “Oh,” Peter mutters, bringing his first bite down before it could even reach his lips. “Well, we… Um-” He frowns, not taking his eyes from his plate. “Close your eyes,” MJ continues. Peter complies immediately, taking a shaky breath. Why did he feel so much pressure? Why did this make him so nervous? MJ’s voice cuts through his thoughts. She brought it down slightly, rounding it out more. “Imagine you’re there, right now. The warm sun kissing your skin, yet the cool breeze from the shore keeping you comfortable in the heat…” Peter could almost hear it. The seagulls and the waves… “You’re at the temple, your temple. Tony has set the dinner table and he guides you to your seat.” MJ pauses for a second, letting the images flood Peter’s mind. “Can you see it?” He nods faintly, the corners of his mouth curling up at the memories. Peter is surprised to hear a faint, low hum to his left, but it doesn’t take a genius to know what’s going on. Tony can see it too. “Tell me, Peter… What happens next?” Peter licks his lips before he answers, leaning back against the chair. The muscles in his shoulders are finally relaxing a little. “He’d bring the spoon to my mouth first. He knows his Cupido deserves the very first bite. My pleasure before his, my-” Peter cuts himself off and his eyes open wide when he realizes what he said. He gulps, and finds Tony’s gaze once again. “Tony,” he whispers. His fingers grazing at the marble surface of the table in an attempt to keep himself calm. “Amore. She’s right. That was a little too eager, wasn’t it? Aren’t we supposed to be the ones to consume first?”

Tony’s dark brown eyes twinkle in a strange combination between adoration and humiliation when he looks at his lover. “Yes, my Lord.” He instantly puts his spoon down. “Please, would you allow me to…” Tony’s voice trails off and his hand moves forward across the table slowly. He doesn’t want to push Peter. Doesn’t want to go too fast and scare him away. But there’s a familiar fierceness in Peter’s eyes now. Loving and playful, but also more confident every second that passes. Peter nods at his plate. “Yes, you know what to do, caro mio.” Tony gasps lightly at the tingly shiver running down his spine. It’s not quite a command yet, but it’s getting close. Funny enough, Tony now gets why Peter finds it so difficult to do this here. Tony feels it too. It’s not as hard on him, but he too feels a bit more tentative. 

Tony wants this though. So, so badly. He takes a small leap of faith when he grips Peter’s fork and carefully sticks it into a little piece of meat on the plate. He brings it to his own mouth first, gently blowing it to cool off a bit. Then, he locks gazes with Peter and smiles.  “With my sincere apologies, amore, please accept my offering?” Peter chuckles at the smooth line and shakes his head lightly.  “C’mere, I’ll decide if it’s enough once I’ve tasted it.” Now it’s Tony’s time to grin and he brings the fork to Peter’s lips. Careful not to jab the young man’s lip as he pushes it inside. A small droplet of sauce accidentally stains Peter’s chin and Tony frowns- pulling the fork back. Peter’s lips close and he hums in delight, licking the sauce away as he slowly chews the food. Tony can literally see Peter’s expression change as every single flavor sweeps through his lover’s mouth.

“How does it taste, my Lord?”

Peter opens his eyes again and Tony is certain. He is Cupido now- fully. His back is straightened and his chin is up. Cupido blinks slowly, like a content cat relishing in a beam of sunlight, and locks his half-hooded eyes with Tony’s. His stare is deep and intense, and then he speaks, voice low and authoritative. Tony somehow envisions hot, dripping nectar- can nearly feel the image drip on his cock. It twitches. “Divine.”

-

“Holy shit, MJ-” Peter mumbles in complete and utter disbelief as he lets his gaze slide past the beautifully decorated bedroom that MJ created. “This is not how I remember it from last time.” “I’m glad you like it,” she grins. “Ikea didn’t have everything I needed for, well, this.” Peter nods, still amazed. There are fairy lights taped to the wall, the tiny light bulbs casting a warm glow across her room. A tapestry behind her bed showing a summer-y island that doesn’t look like their island in the slightest, yet it’s definitely what they’re all thinking about when they see it. MJ’s sheets are soft, white cotton, while small fuzzy brown pillows are scattered all across it. A few large house plants that Peter does not know the name of clearly breathe life into the room. The flourishing green almost makes Peter forget that it is, in fact, a cold winter’s day.

“It’s beautiful.” Tony simply comments. He doesn’t even try to conceal the pride on his face though. “Money well spent.” “Mmmh, I had a couple of friends so generous to help me out.” “How sweet,” Tony chuckles, but lust drips from his voice. The man still gets off so much to his deities spending his money and they know it. With flushed cheeks, he remembers how Aphrodite had swiped his card at the restaurant as if it were nothing. “You should keep them around.” “Oh, I’m definitely planning to.” 

Somehow, that one sentence completely changes the atmosphere in the room. Aphrodite's eyes darken a little and she smiles. “I have one more addition, but I’ve hidden it. It’s not for just anyone to see.” Mysteriously, she stalks over to her wardrobe and tugs at the bottom drawer. Peter peeks over her shoulder and gulps when he sees the sign she’s picked up. It’s only a small, thin piece of wood. In burnt letters, it says just three words. Three, simple words. The truest proof that words can contain the entire universe if used right. 

Dimora d'Aphrodite

“My Goddess…” Tony whimpers quietly. Aphrodite stands up tall and cocks her head to her right. Peter feels like she’s completely knocked the oxygen from his lungs.  “Tony,” she whispers quietly and beckons him closer, handing him the delicate piece of wood. “Where should we put this up?” “On top of the headboard, my Lady?” “Very well.” She sits down on the edge of her bed. Her golden dress glows in the fairy lights. Twinkling, radiating light all around her. She’s chosen this dress deliberately, Peter realizes. It makes her look so unearthly gorgeous.

And not just her, he realizes too. MJ had insisted Peter would wear a white dress shirt. His wavy hair slick with gel to make it seem more curly and wild, yet still considered appropriate enough for the restaurant. In a moment of clarity, Peter brings his hands up to undo the two top buttons of the dress shirt, revealing a hint of his toned muscles. In the restaurant, he’d been Cupido, but on the car ride to MJ’s home he’d been exposed to New York again. To the high rises and flashing lights and honking cars. He had slipped out of his role. Away from Cupido. He wants him back. Needs him. And now, being in MJ’s bedroom, with the golden glow and smell of her crisp, clean sheets, with Tony’s eyes reflecting the fairy lights; almost a symbolization of his devotion towards them- Peter regains his divinity. He rises above.  “Do what she says, amore. Put the sign up and kneel.”

There. He’d done it.

“Yes, Cupido mio,” Tony breathes. Gentle, building arousal seeping through his rough voice. It only adds to the small fire that’s slowly growing in Peter’s groin. Tony places the sign on top of the headboard. It fits perfectly. Every single time they look up they’ll see it. “Come,” Peter whispers. Tony drops to his knees in front of Peter. The young god sees the small shudder going through the man’s body. “Perfect,” Cupido whispers. He runs his hands through Tony’s soft hair, then, grips tightly. “Oh, fuck,” Tony moans out loud, his face contorting at the sudden rush of pleasure. Peter licks his lips and tilts the servant’s head a tiny bit backwards. “How’s it feel to be on your knees again, sweet thing? Did you miss me, uh?” “So much, so much my Lord. I love serving you.” “I know,” Peter rushes and bites down his lips. He isn’t quite sure to proceed, but from the corner of his eyes, he can see MJ beckoning them closer. Peter grins, pushing Tony’s head down.  “Hands on the floor, darlin’, let’s greet our queen, shall we? We are in her home after all.”

Tony lets out a shaky breath and he crawls towards MJ, his eyes cast down to the wooden floor when he stills in front of her. MJ too, drags her fingers through his hair once. Cupido sits down next to her, boldly pressing himself into her side. MJ simply leans back. Her warm skin burning through the thin material of Peter’s dress shirt. “Your servant is gorgeous,” she whispers. “How lovely to play with him again.” “He’s missed you, Aphrodite,” Peter hums.  “Oh, is that so, Tony?” “Yes, Ma’am,” Tony breathes, still not looking up at them. Peter has to bite back a moan at the sight. He’s so sweetly submissive. So pliant. Soft. Yearning to please and pleasure them both.

“Now, honey, before we fully start. Are we all green to go? Any extra hard limits I should know of?” “I’m green, my Lady. Nothing different from last time.” “Cupido?” “Same here,” Peter states quietly, excitedly anticipating everything MJ has planned for tonight. She promised she’d taken the lead role, to help guide Peter until he felt confident enough to make his own calls. He knows what she’s planned. And it’s deliciously cruel to know that Tony is completely oblivious to all of it.

“Tony,” MJ whispers. Finally, Tony looks up at her, full of adoration. “Undress yourself for us. We wish to see your beauty wholly.”

-

It’s almost embarrassing, how these young, gorgeous beings turn Tony in a babbling mess simply by looking down on him. He’s shamelessly staring back, in awe of their beauty, their essence, their power. And of course, it doesn’t help that Aphrodite is riding him at a pace that cuts off any other thought in his mind. Her wetness squeezing around him is mindblowing at least.  Tony reaches his hands towards her, loving how her hair slides past his arms now that it’s falling out of her half up-do. His fingers trail past her collarbones, and he wants to say something. But the Goddess shakes her head and changes her position slightly, increasing the way his cock drags inside of her. Tony lets out an involuntary groan. “Oh Tony,” Aphrodite murmurs quietly, her voice sweet and commanding all at once. She rises up slightly, only to drop after. Her strong thighs holding him in his rightful place. “You never cease to amaze me.” “Aah-Ah!”  “That’s it, sweet thing. Show me your devotion.” “Always, my lady. T-thank you-” Pleasure builds in his groin, tingling, until it transforms into a scorching fire that consumes every single cell in his body. His eyelids fall shut as she drags another moan from deep inside him.

But, as much as he adores Aphrodite, his heart actually flutters in his chest when his lover leans in and presses a soft kiss against Tony’s forehead. “Cupido…” Tony smiles and nearly blushes at the intense look he’s given by the God. Brown curls framing around the young man’s head, the small, delicate tiara resting on top of it. “Yes, yes sweetheart,” Cupido coos and shifts upwards, crawling on top of Tony. With a whimper, Tony realizes what’s about to happen. 

Strong, muscular thighs settle across either side of Tony’s face. He cranes his neck upwards, no longer able to wait. “Oh!” Cupido exclaims when Tony’s hot, wet lips gently suck at right between his God’s balls. Tony moans happily when he feels the hips above him buck and press down more.  “Yes, Tony, make Cupido feel good. Doesn’t he deserve it?” Tony can only lick a wet stripe up towards Cupido’s hole in response.  “Aphrodite, he’s so good. Makes me feel so good,” the God groans out, tilting his pelvis to give Tony better access. “Good, then he deserves a reward.”

Without a warning, Aphrodite leans forward to press her hands into the cotton sheets for more leverage, and with a staggering rhythm she fucks herself on Tony’s painfully hard cock. He cries out at the soft drag around him.  “Pwease,-” he babbles against Cupido. “Oh, ‘m gettin’ close my Lady- so close.” “Oh no, not yet. You gotta work for it baby, gotta earn it.” Her voice is stern and gentle and the ever so sultry undertone. “Hold out for me, I ain’t done with you yet.” The young woman only fastens her pace even more. Tony’s eyes roll back and he digs his nails into Cupido’s thighs above him in an attempt to keep himself from falling apart right there and then. “I can’t- I can’t!”

Coldness wraps around Tony’s dick and he hisses. The abrupt loss of stimulation leaves him a sobbing mess. His hips rise from the bed, aching to find warmth again.  “Aphrodite, please, I’m sorry. I can hold out. I promise. I promise.” “Mmmmmh’ I know your intention is right honey, but you were so close.” Sharp nails drag upwards along his inner thigh and he groans. “A little… Too close.” Her voice is sweet like dripping honey, wrapping around his brains to enchant him in lustrous spells. If they keep teasing him like this he’ll end up delirious with pleasure. And honestly, he’s looking forward to it. “My lady, I-” “Hush. Cupido, shut him up will ya?”

Cupido grins down at the dark-haired devotee beneath him. Tony looks ruined. Absolutely ruined. Small beads of sweat glisten on his forehead, showing how much Cupido and Aphrodite have used him already. Lovely.  Peter shifts down a little, propping himself up on his knees until he feels Tony’s soft, wet lips wrap around the tip of his cock. “Ohhh, much better,” Cupido whimpers at the gratifying sensation. His cock had been hard ever since they started their main course at the restaurant, and as he had already learned at the island, Aphrodite is the queen of dragging things out. 

The girl in question smiles at Peter gently and leans in, her lips grazing at the skin just below his ear. The small huff that leaves her mouth sends a series of electric shivers down his spine.  “He wants this,” she breathes, “-give it to him. Give him everything.” The words send the young God rutting into his submissive’s mouth. Holding back enough to not hurt him, yet losing enough control for his eyes to screw shut on their own accord. 

“Ti amo, amore,” Cupido groans, digging his fingers into Tony’s sides, rolling his hips down and down again and again. Gasping as Tony’s tongue twirls around the tip of his cock. Peter can feel his balls draw tight, every muscle in his abdomen tense and excited and anticipating the promised high.  “That’s it, arciere,” Aphrodite mumbles and she lowers herself back onto Tony. Peter whines when he feels Tony’s hands tighten around his calves to keep himself from losing it. Tony’s thoroughly overstimulated and needy. He can’t talk though, not with Cupido’s dick in his mouth. “Take it, sweet man,” Aphrodite moans as she rides him relentlessly. “Take everything we give you and you’ll be rewarded.” “Hnngh!” Tony whimpers and sucks even harder. Peter curses under his breath and collapses forward, only catching himself just in time. His legs are trembling, shaking, barely holding him up. “Cavalo! Tony- You’re killing me here. I can’t, fuck, you’re so good. So good. Caro mio. Keep going- don’t stop- don’t stop!” He babbles incoherently. Tony responds by raising his hands until he’s holding onto Peter’s thighs, almost keeping him in place, and craning his neck for better access. Taking him deeper, more sloppily, as if making his deity feel good is the sole goal in his life.

Peter looks up at Aphrodite, and it doesn’t help in the slightest. She looks divine. Unearthly gorgeous. The warm glow of the fairy lights casting a never ending sunset onto her skin. Her breasts bouncing lightly every time she lowers herself onto their loyal devotee. Her eyes are closed too now, the tiara slowly sliding to one side- catching in the hair tie that is barely keeping her up-do together. 

“Cupido,” she moans. “Don’t you think it’s time that dear Tony here gives us his offering?” “Oh God-” he chokes out in response. “You mean-” “Yes, fuck, he’s getting close again. Listen to his moans Peter, he’s so close. So close to surrender fully.” Tony’s entire body trembles at that. Peter knows she’s speaking the truth. He looks up at Aphrodite and licks his lips. They had this planned, in fact, and her asking this means they’re headed for the grand finale.  “Good lord,” Cupido mumbles and takes a deep breath before pulling out of Tony’s mouth. It’s endearing how Tony tries to pull him back in. At the same time, Aphrodite rises up and leaves Tony too. The man reaches up for both of them, not sure where to demand a touch first.

“Stay there, honey,” Aphrodite coos. Tony goes limp, breathing heavily. “Please,” he murmurs, so quiet it’s almost inaudible. “Please, I need to feel something, I need-” “Get on your hands and knees, darling,” Cupido orders him. Tony moans and slowly drags himself up. Uncoordinated, clearly not in this realm anymore. “Cupido, amore, I… Guide me?” “Of course, of course... Caro mio, c’mere, you’re doing so well for us. Make me so proud. You’re beautiful. So, so beautiful.” Cupido smiles as he helps Tony to get all the way up his fours. He leans in, pressing his lips in the crook of Tony’s neck. His hands creeping up to cup the man’s face. “Look at me, Tones.” Tony’s eyes flutter open and he looks up at him. Cupido can’t help but smile back at the adoration he sees.  “Perfect,” he whispers. “Now, do you want to know what we want you to do?” “Yes, yes. I’ll do anything to please you both.”

Cupido hums and beckons Aphrodite to crawl over. She does, gracefully so, and takes Peter’s place. Her legs part and Tony’s nostrils flare. “C-Can I?” “Yes.”

In awe, Cupido watches Tony dive in. The way Aphrodite’s eyes fall shut with pleasure says more than enough. He grins and slowly crawls all the way over until he’s right behind Tony. He reaches for the small tube with lube on the end of the bed- he should thank MJ for that later. She’s a true mastermind, planning all of this out. He squirts some onto his fingers and rubs them together a little, wanting it to warm up. Cupido isn’t actually planning on fucking his lover tonight. No. But that doesn’t mean they can’t have some additional fun. He knows just how much Tony loves being fingered whenever he is in this mindset. Outside of it? Never. But like this? Please. “Caro mio,” Cupido breathes and taps the inside of Tony’s legs. Tony whimpers and spreads them a little wider. “Perfect, Tony.”

Tony obviously can’t answer with his face buried between the Goddess’ thighs like that, but he clearly shows a little more enthusiasm. The girl thrashes in the sheets, grabbing Tony’s hair to guide him to all the right places. Holding him down right there.  When she cries out particularly loud, Peter pushes his first finger inside. It’s magic, the scene that enfolds next. Tony freezes entirely, then, drops his upper body into the sheets. Aphrodite growls and lifts Tony’s chin up roughly. Careful, but forcefully. “You feel that, honey?” “M-mh-” Tony stutters, fingers clawing at the linen while he takes Peter’s finger deeper inside. “Cupido is gonna make you feel s’good. So good you’ll want to come. The thing is, Tones-” she yanks his head up a little higher. Cupido bites down his bottom lip to suppress a dazed chuckle when he sees how it makes Tony’s cock jump. “No offerings until you’ve made me see every single star in space.”

Aphrodite looks at Cupido after that, smirking, and Peter shakes his head. She licks his lips, and abruptly lets go of Tony’s hair again. The man in between them dives right back in, fervent and eager, and Cupido takes it as a sign to curl his finger against Tony’s prostate.  “A-A!” The man chokes out against the Goddess, his poor, tired legs shaking after having been teased for so long. 

Cupido doesn’t stop- pressing a second and a third finger inside. Small, scissoring motions to open Tony up so captivatingly beautiful. Tony doesn’t stop, sucking and licking- making Aphrodite’s moans soar higher and higher. And likewise, Aphrodite doesn’t stop- bucking her hips against the devotee’s face as she comes. Wave, after wave, after wave. “Make him cum, Cupido, take his gift for us.”

Cupido snakes his free hand around Tony’s waist and obeys the Goddess’ demand with messy, rapid jerks. Tony shakes against his touch. His cheek resting on Aprhodite’s thighs- her long, slender fingers drawing circles against his scalp. “Good boy, Tony,” she mumbles, happily fucked-out, “-so good.” “Please, please, il miei amori- A-Aphrodite, Cupi-... Dio. Cupidio,” Tony chokes out. Peter huffs at the small mistake of his name, but he loves it simultaneously. It’s everything he is; Cupido and God combined.

“Come for us, Tony. Come.” Cupido orders and as the obedient man he is, Tony cries out as his orgasm comes crashing down on him. His cock jerks in Cupido’s strong grip, making a big mess into the white cotton sheets. Tony sobs, gasping for air when small spurts of cum keep falling from the tip- dripping all over Cupido’s hand.  The God stills his motions, giving the man some time to catch his breath. Cupido’s face softens and he takes a deep breath. “Ti amo,” he whispers quietly. “Ti amo, ti amo, ti amo.” Tony chuckles bewildered and nods. “Ti amo, Cupido mio.” And with a soft kiss against Aphrodite’s thigh, “-dea mia.”

Cupido hums content, and carefully let’s go of the now softening cock. His hands are wet and sticky, and he licks his lips, groaning as he curls his fingers around his own shaft. He hisses at the eventual pleasure.  It doesn’t even take him long to come all over Tony, and he joins the messy tangle of knocked-out bodies on the bed, gasping to catch his breath.

Cupido, he thinks with a gentle smile. 

Finalmente.

[purplesurveys]

1032

survey by danceamydance

Have you ever witnessed a birth? Never have. I wasn’t present when my mom gave birth to my younger siblings and other than that there’s been no reason for me to be around for the birth of my other younger relatives.

What pattern does the closest tissue box have? I don’t have one in my room, but the one in our bathroom is brown. I think. I never actually checked even though I use it everyday lol.

Where did you lose your virginity, if you have? I truthfully didn’t really keep note of what counts as the first time because we had already been fooling around quite a bit. I’d guess either a hotel room or my room, or maybe hers. The one thing I can remember was that I was 18, so there’s that.

What color car(s) do your parents drive? We have two white cars and one teal. I still don’t know why my dad got a teal car when none of us in the family are into colored cars, but according to him getting the Vitara in white would’ve looked like an FX (a form of public transport here), so I’ve learned to make my peace with the teal car lol.

What are your views on getting rid of the penny? I can’t relate, because we don’t use pennies.

Which Asian country would you most like to visit? Aside from the ones I’ve already gone to, I’d love to take a trip to Thailand, Vietnam, Sri Lanka, and India.

Have you ever had a nosebleed? Nope. I fear the day I get one; I’m scared of blood haha.

How far away do you live from your birthplace? Maybe around 30 minutes without any traffic. A realistic drive to Manila would take me anywhere between 1 to 1.5 hours.

Do you have bangs? Yep, and they’re starting to get pretty long as well so thanks for reminding me that I’ll have to trim them soon. I want to get rid of them already as I’ve had my fun with them, but NO ONE HAS SEEN ME WITH BANGS loooool so they are still staying. 

Are you a good driver? I wanna say I’ve been better through the years? Hahaha the consensus is that I drive a little crazy, but my friends still always pick me to drive them whenever we go somewhere because everyone apparently still finds me the safest driver to ride with despite my temper on the road. Having a tiny car, being bullied by bigger pickup trucks and SUV through the years has helped toughen me up.

Have you ever kissed someone underneath the mistletoe? No. My ex and I always celebrated Christmas separately, with our own families, so we never got the chance to do this.

Do you watch the Olympics on the television? No. It’s not really something that interests me.

What was the scariest experience of your life? The time I nearly crashed into a car that I didn’t realize was stopped in the middle of the road while I was going 80 kph, and having like 3 seconds to hit the brakes.

Do you have a Tumblr account? I mean...

Are your nails painted right now? What color? Nope.

Have you ever played truth or dare? Several times, though I always pick truth because I’ve never had a problem saying it. I also hate picking dares because my friends would usually make us do dumb things, like dance, or worse, make out with someone in the circle.

How long is your driveway? Not very.

Are there any tv shows you keep up with religiously? Mmm it used to be The Crown, but I probably won’t be watching it for a while despite the new season because 1) I used to watch it when my past relationship had still been smooth-sailing, so watching it would just remind me of that; and 2) Gabie loves the shit out of Gillian Anderson and she was brought in for season 4 lol. 

Right now my focus is on a new Korean drama called Start-Up, which is currently ongoing and is so fucking good. Nam Joo Hyuk is also there, so it’s a sweet bonus for me <3

What is your favorite iPhone app? I’m using YouTube the most these days, so it may as well be my favorite.

Where is your mother right now? She’s at work.

Do you know anybody named Carl? I don’t think so. The only person that came to mind is an uncle named Carlo who I haven’t seen in more than a decade. My dad’s college group used to be super tight-knit and I used to be friends with his friends’ kids, so it’s sad to see them kinda grow apart and notice the others be more reclusive over the years.

Are you more of a night owl or a morning person? Morning person. Ugh, work is changing me as a person haha.

What is your favorite song at the moment? Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House has taken the top spot again. It’s just too goddamn good of a song.

Do you have a weak stomach? Very. I’m awful with car rides, bungee jumping, fair rides, you name it.

Have you ever been to a party where people were drinking underage? Hmm, yes. Kaira’s 18th birthday – it was held in May but most of the people at her party weren’t going to turn 18 until the end of the year, so it was a lot of 16 and 17 year olds drinking. I had just turned 18 then, so I allowed myself to take my first sip of a margarita.

How many stores are in the mall closest to you? Malls here are generally packed compared to what people may have in the US or other countries, so even though our local mall isn’t anything notable, it still holds 200+ stores.

Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? Yes, but they’re all outside of family. My mom’s side is very weird about cancer and never share information about family members who may have it and only ever refer to it as ‘the c word,’ so I may have more relatives who have cancer than what is made known to us.

How far away is the closest McDonald’s to you? We have one literally right beside the main entrance of our village but because our house is at the very end of the village, what should be just a couple of steps away is instead a 10-minute drive for me.

Would you ever meet someone in person that you met online? Yeah I’ve done that with a few people in the wrestling circle. Jila I met unexpectedly while we were both in line for the WWE house show in Manila in 2016; Javi I met when I lent him my Chris Jericho memoir; and Rafie was the one who gave me a free ticket to said WWE show. Rafie’s a local celebrity now and he has such a huge following, so as weird as it is I’m also glad I have that little memory with him before he blew up.

What was the last film you watched? That Thing Called Tadhana, but I was unable to finish it. I’m into TV shows these days and I’ve been all over Start-Up.

Does it snow where you live? Never has.

Have you ever been to an art gallery? Of course, I’m a sucker for those. I always go to one whenever I can; there are a lot of malls here that’ll randomly have pop-up art exhibits, so art galleries here actually aren’t limited to just museums.

What are your neighbours like? A lot of them have kids, that much I know because a lot of them play outside in the afternoon and make some noise. We all keep to each other, though, so I don’t know any more about them; the only time we get together is when the neighborhood organizes its own Christmas party for the community.

Do you visit your town’s library often? I would if we have one, but public libraries are not a thing here. If you needed to go to a library to find a book, you would have to go to a university.

Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? This just gave me college flashbacks haha. Of course I have, and the most notable people for me are JM, Andrew, and Angela.

What flavor was the last ice cream you ate? It’s a red bean ice cream sandwich that also has a bit of vanilla ice cream in it.

Can you do a cartwheel? No but I definitely tried a thousand times as a kid.

Who is the last person you spoke to on the phone? Can I do video calls instead? I haven’t done phone calls in a while. The last people I was on a call with were Ysa and Bea.

^ What did you talk about? Secret work stuff.

Which website do you spend the most time on? YouTube, Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter.

Have you ever kissed someone of a different race? I haven’t.

What can you smell right now? My coffee chocolate chip cookie.

Do you read fanfiction? If so, what fandoms? I haven’t checked on my favorite authors since college, mostly because they went MIA at some point and moved on to different fandoms as well. But when I did, I mostly read ones for AJ/Punk and HHH/Steph.

What accent is your favorite? Man this question is asked a lot...

How did/will you celebrate your birthday this year? Gab gave me a cute digital present, I think I may have spent the whole day playing the Switch, and Hans and Angela sent over a box of sushi for me.

Are you more introverted or extroverted? I’m both depending on the people I’m with. If I’m with a crowd I don’t know all that much, I turn my volume down.

Do you tend to repeat yourself all the time? Yeah. I got it from my mom, who unconsciously repeats stories all the time.

How was the last chicken you ate cooked? Fried.

Is there anybody you always find yourself thinking about? Yes, but it has gotten easier to manage/ignore altogether these days.

What was your last argument about? Haven’t argued with anyone in a hot minute. It was probably my mom as always, but I no longer remember what it could have been about.

Are/were you part of any extracurricular activities in school? I had clubs in high school since it was mandatory. In college, I was in yearbook and a journalism org.

Do you want to get married someday? I don’t know about that anymore.

What colors are on your country’s national flag? Blue, red, yellow, and white.

Would you go back to your ex if he/she asked you? I’m pretty stupid when it comes to this, so yes.

[aleatoryalarmalligator]

Hello tumblr, I feel like it would be really good for me to write here more often. I stopped writing my life story like forever ago, but i have been listening to it on audio in order to get through it to kind of get back into this. It wasn't too badly written. It was very simple. I want to at least get from age 22-28. I feel like i can do that now. It's funny because the girl who wrote my life story even isn't who i am now. She herself is a part of the story she started writing every day after work. Ugh. My life got really sad, and it's hard to explain just how that happened. I am doing as much as i can to stay afloat, but i am lonely all the time. So much so that i feel like dizzy from it, i feel like i am choking, but at the same time this is probably the best things have ever been for me, I am thinner, i am living on my own in the city of Portland. I see stuff everyday that i am strongly affected by. I am extremely poor, but there are people so much worse off than me too, I really can't complain. I made a bunch of friends last year, and then I lost all my friends and it wasn't really my fault. I mean, i am still connected to people and i could probably do some things differently to reach out. But it would come off as desperate at this point. And i am not interested in people who don't reach out to me. People just got over me or had personal issues with themselves. Life stuff, it happens. I think what's important is the time you have with people, which might be just one great honest conversation on the busride home one night, or it could be a romantic fling that lasted nine months, but whatever you have to really live those moments and not try to force them to stay the same. As a writer, i think the best way i can ever really honor those moments is to reflect on them and put them down into words. Because i have had in my limited time in Portland, a lot of growth, and i am still growing and it's very painful. I fell in love with someone who loved me back. It really happened, and i thought it never would, and it was crazy and good/bad and made me selfish and crazy and open in whole weird new ways now it's over and not at the same time. I mean, we are still close and if we were around one another more i am sure things would start to happen. But i think the painful thing about it is really that no matter what happens, i can't go back to the beginning. It's not his fault or my fault. I honestly just miss being me back then. It wasn't meant to last, at least like it was, but it was so perfect. And i have to now look at this bleak future in front of me, and nobody talks to me anymore. I lost my great job that i worked two years up the ranks to get, and now i am back to working making 25% of what i was making before, but i am living in a place that i can now not really afford. So i am very poor. And i wish i could fall in love again, but i can't just make that happen. I'm not dedicating myself to anyone or anything, but i just don't feel that attached to people very often. I can't even pay my taxes I owed this year, and i stress about all this mounting debt i can't pay, and i keep trying not to look at the news or read about the state of the environment, but i've read enough and listen to enough podcasts and stuff to feel this great mounting uncertainty about the world at large, with or without me in it, and it's easy to get really sad. I was unemployed for a month, and i got really sad and ate way too much food and never left the house, and the weight of two years just hit me like a ton of bricks (I've been really just going nonstop since i moved to Portland), and the extent of how everything has happened was very shocking to me. It doesn't get said enough that growth can be extremely painful and isolating. It's not like the quintessential yoga woman smiling as a happy light decends upon her enlightened head. I grew distant and cold. I ended up having something wrong with my legs that prevented me from walking right I stopped drinking for about five months, not that i drank too much, but not drinking actually alienated me because most everyone I know does drink. I grew really amazingly depressed. So much so that i felt myself backtracking years, to being an awkward misanthropic teenage girl that i once was. I felt myself getting very out of touch. So i forced myself to take this job that pays me a disappointing and almost disrespectful amount less (i am working for the same company technically that i use to, just not as a server). It did help. I got to be around some of my work chums that cheered me up, i found a reason to get out of bed. Nobody knows any of the stuff i have been through. The relationship i was in is top secret. And so now, I've decided to lose the rest of the weight. I have about twenty five pounds to lose, and it's really important to just get this out of the way. It involves me being very hungry. I laugh sometimes at how miserable i feel. There isn't much i can do to make anything change right now. I think there will be opportunities in the future and i want to be ready when those things happen. But i am doing everything i can. I am watching the guy i was in a relationship with pursue other girls, and it's hard to just let that happen, but i know better. We were never in a relationship and this was always on the table. It's just some weird impulsive desperation act on his own part, and he may or may not come back, but if he comes back to me, i won't be the same anymore. He's a serious alcoholic and he's losing control of his life. He's very well loved and social. He still talks to me everyday. He loves me and misses me and is still my friend. He just needs that drug of the pursuit i guess. I wish i was more like him sometimes. It would be so fun to be going out with guys and liking them all. I mean, it's in me somewhere, but i am not interested in any of the guys i know. I don't want to get hurt again, and i really really don't want to hurt anyone else. I laugh too, because it's like i lost four things, Money, Sleep, Friends and Food. It's hard to sleep because i wake up with a rushing heart. I do repetitive things and have to exercize until i am too tired to do much else. I lost food because i need to trim down, I lost friends because of a lot of things, and i lost money because of the job thing. But still, still, i cannot complain. I honestly am doing better than i ever have been. I am falling apart, but this is just what has to happen. Eventually i will get a serving job again. I will eventually be healthy and skinny, and  I will either get used to not having friends or i will get new friends. And eventually, i just want the space and emotional support to where i can hold myself up and be given the comfort and escape in a way to write books. I find strange things tend to help me. I harken back to a lot of Charles Bukowski poems. I like his whole approach on life. I remind myself that even though i am discontented, i am living a better life than royalty did a few hundred years ago, and i am lower working class. There is so much information and new ideas at my disposal. I'm really lucky to even have my headphones or the youtube feed to be what it is. I rarely get sick. People probably like me, I'm probably just depressed. Things will get better again. It just really really doesn't feel like it. I have to avoid people to an extent because dieting is hard when people are around. And i have to keep my secrets, and if i drink when i am lonely i tell people stuff i probably shouldn't. Anyway, i am actually with a gathering of people, so i should probably try to be sociable. I'll try to be more active on tumblr, and eventually i will continue on that life story stuff when i listen to where i last left off. There are things i just need to be refreshed on. I forgot about where i was, what i've stated and what i haven't.

[susandwrites]

2018 Fic Year In Review

Tagged by @sherlockedcarmilla - I’m so glad we’re fic friends now!

This is going to be a little difficult because I haven’t written a ton of fic this year - I took a bit of an accidental hiatus, but jumped back into AO3 with both feet, desperate for more Sherlock. Anything Sherlock.

Total completed stories: Only three this year, but two unfinished.

Total word count: 32788

Fandoms written in: Sherlock

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? More, actually. This year in fic writing sort of took me by surprise. I wrote a novel for a friend of mine (in proofing now) which took a ton of time and effort. But I found that when I was done with the novel, I was sort of on a roll and wanted to write some stuff that wouldn’t stress me out. Johnlock does this.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? I’m gonna say... Fallen Through Time. Not done yet, but I am thoroughly enjoying writing it and thinking my way through it.

Did you take any writing risks this year? I always feel like writing itself is a risk. Especially writing erotica because you have to swallow down the fact that now everyone knows what you know about sex and kinks and things that people don’t talk about. But, honestly, I love the feeling of strength and empowerment I get from writing and talking about things that people pretend are taboo, but are so eager to experience.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? My personal writing goals are pretty lofty: as soon as my novel from 2018 gets edited, I’m going to search for an agent and try to get it published. I’m also already working on a sequel, which I would like to finish by February for my friend’s birthday. Fanfic-wise, I plan on finishing Fallen Through Time as well as possibly going back to an old fic called The Love of a Child. And I have a few AUs in mind, including but not limited to Die Hard and The Greatest Showman.

Best story of the year? I’ll say Fallen Through Time again. I’m just proud of how it’s going so far.

Most popular story of the year? A tie between Fictober 2018 and Fallen Through Time at 984 hits in 2018. But since I finished The Adventure of the Swinging Hips a few days ago, it has climbed to a whopping 2,412!

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: The Adventure of the Swinging Hips. I actually had a bit of a comment battle (which has since been deleted) regarding whether or not I was remaining true to Sherlock and John’s voices. Obviously, I felt that I did, but I got some snark about Sherlock and John and who should be on top and what type of sex they’re having. All that being said, I feel like this story doesn’t get enough notes, but that’s probably because I had so much fun writing it.

Most fun story to write: Swinging Hips again. I listen to the playlist almost constantly and - while it is marked complete for now - I plan on eventually adding more chapters. Imagining Sherlock and John dancing about, loving each other in a myriad of little ways, expressing themselves through music... It just warms my heart.

Most unintentionally telling story: Probably Trimmed in Red. It’s angsty and was VERY hard to write, even though it’s pretty short. While I’ve never taken drugs (of any sort), trying to put myself in Sherlock’s mindset was emotionally difficult because of my own clinical depression and what I suspect might be ADHD. I struggle so much with my own memory and emotions - since there was a time in my life when I was so sad, it is easy to forget things because of the way I felt at the time. But I don’t want to forget moments in my life - they led me here.

Biggest disappointment: Ugh - I just could not finish the Fictober challenge on time. It’s STILL a wip! I will say that I am a bit of a masochist - most people treat each prompt as an opportunity for stand-alone ficlets, which is the sane decision. I, however, decided for some godforsaken reason to make each prompt the start of a chapter in a long-ass, full-blown fic. Now, in my defense, I was finishing a novel in October and treated Fictober as a bit of stress-relief. But I really like the direction in which the story is going and I am going to finish it, come Hell or high water.

Biggest surprise: Just & Loyal, a conversation between John and Sherlock regarding their respective Hogwarts House sorting. I finally started listening to the Three-Patch Podcast (AMAZING!) and in their first episode, their discussion about characters’ sorting was entertaining, but - as a hardcore Hufflepuff - I was disappointed that they decided emphatically that Sherlock would never be a Hufflepuff. We’re great! Don’t underestimate the Badger! Anyway - I cannot believe the number of notes this little ficlet got on Tumblr. It is so encouraging to see people liking and commenting. I love you guys!

I can hardly believe how much fun I’ve had after throwing myself into fanfic at the end of the year. It is so wonderful to be affirmed and supported, especially by people I’ve never met, and for what I consider My Work. I have a day-job, but writing is what drives me. What sustains me. Letting off steam while writing a novel or two and getting to be creative feels so great and the love and support I’ve been getting just gives me the boost of confidence I need.

Ok, tagging time. I’ll go with @cellard00rs and @nofate88, if you guys haven’t already done this. Love and kisses!

[sunshineoptimismandangels]

Spangled Banner by Sunshineoptimismandangels

Summary: With Kurt too busy this year to plan Blaine has to take responsibly for their Halloween costumes... meaning that Blaine finally gets to dress up as he favorite Superheroes! (Based on a Tumblr prompt). Word Count: 2,470 Status: Complete AO3 | FF.net

Kurt usually had his costume planned a month in advance of Halloween. He usually made it himself with a little help from Amazon when it came to ordering wigs or makeup. He usually took polaroids and made patterns and had all the details sewn up long before October 31st rolled around. Usually. This year was different.

Kurt had been flustered with NYADA, his internship at Vogue and work at the diner. It was all a lot and as much as Kurt loved dressing up he kept putting it off. By mid-October Kurt hadn't shown any signs of being Halloween ready and it seemed to Blaine that if they were going to have costumes this year he was going to need to take the lead.

Blaine leaned against the doorframe of their workroom watching Kurt as he sewed an assignment for his period costumes class at NYADA.

"We could go as Real Housewives." Blaine suggested, it wasn't his first suggestion, but Kurt hadn't been excited by anything yet. "That could be funny."

Kurt remained bent over his sewing machine, but his face twisted up in disdain and Blaine laughed, "Okay not Real Housewives. How about… you could be Gordan Ramsey and I could be Aarón Sanchez?"

Kurt lifted his foot from the sewing machine pedal and finally looked up at Blaine, "Better… and I'm not trying to be difficult, but what if we steered away from reality TV this year?"

Blaine nodded, "Sure." He thought for a moment knowing what he wanted to suggest. "We could go as superheroes…" He muttered under his breath.

Blaine had wanted to suggest that from the start, but Kurt didn't like to dress up as anything obvious and superhero costumes were wildly popular. Still, Blaine really wanted to go as a superhero, he loved the big blockbuster movies, the comics, the fanfiction – really, he loved it all.

"Okay." Kurt turned back to his sewing machine, foot on the pedal making it whir to life.

"Okay?" Blaine stood straight from the doorframe as excitement beginning to thrum through him, "Really?"

"Yeah." Kurt nodded, eyes still on his sewing, "Who do you want to be? Who's your favorite?"

"Bruce Banner." Blaine answered without hesitation, he loved Bruce Banner. Smart and sexy... a reluctant but courageous superhero. And Mark Ruffalo wasn't so bad himself.

Kurt smiled, "Great. Then you be Banner and I'll be Captain America. That way we're both Avengers. I'll work on my costume after I finish this project."

"Great. Great!" Blaine's mind was already spinning with ideas.

Kurt looked up once more, smiling broadly, "You should have just said you wanted to do that Blaine, I can be excited about any idea you're excited about." He pulled the sleeve he was sewing out of the machine to inspect it, "Besides you'll make a great Bruce Banner."

*********** Blaine was ecstatic. Halloween was his second favorite Holiday, just barely beneath Christmas, and his tradition with Kurt of having corresponding costumes made it all the better. Blaine started his research immediately. Googling photos of Bruce Banner. Watching The Avengers (again) one evening when Kurt had to work late. Going from online store to online store until he found the perfect clothing that looked spot on like purple shirt and tan/gray suit Bruce so often wore in the movie stills. Blaine even found vanity glasses that were a perfect match to Banner's - then he spent time practicing his hairstyle so he'd have that scatterbrained rumpled look Bruce so easily pulled off.

Kurt on the other hand kept putting off getting his costume together.

Blaine offered to help, but Kurt turned him down every time. It was a matter of pride for Kurt to make his own costume. A week out from Halloween though Kurt flopped down to next to Blaine on the couch, immediately leaning his head on Blaine's shoulder as Blaine instinctively wrapped his arm around Kurt's waist.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked as Kurt let out a long sigh.

"I started on my Captain America costume today and... I just don't have enough time to get everything done that I want to do with it!"

Blaine placed a kiss to Kurt's hair, "It's suppose to be fun. Don't stress yourself out. We could just order you a costume." Kurt sat up quickly almost hitting Blaine's chin with his head.

"Are you serious? That's sacrilege!"

"Kurt, it isn't so bad. I ordered all my stuff."

"But not as a prepackaged costume, you found all our items piece by piece."

"Lots of people buy prepackaged-"

Blaine was cut off by Kurt pressing his fingers against Blaine's lips. "Lots of people do, and that's fine for them. I don't do that."

Blaine smiled under Kurt's fingertips before kissing them lightly as Kurt pulled his hand back, "Okay. I just didn't want you to stress about it."

"I'm going to stress about it Blaine. That's a given. All I want from you is tell me my costume will be great no matter what."

"Kurt, if you're making it then it will be fantastic."

Kurt smiled sweetly and then crumpled back down leaning into Blaine's side and yawning, "Yes. Yes, it will."

Blaine didn't see Kurt's costume at all before Halloween – He was working on it in his off time at Vogue making use of their sewing room and supplies. Kurt seemed to be putting a lot of effort into it now that he was in the spirit of things, but secretly Blaine was grateful Kurt didn't have as much time to work on his costume as usual because Blaine was having doubts about his own outfit.

Everything Blaine ordered had come in and Blaine laid it out on the bed to look at it. A new suit, a purple button down dress shirt and a pair of rimless glasses… that was it. He could easily switch out the suit jacket for a lab coat but still… what had he done? In the whole-wide world of superheroes, Blaine had chosen a costume that meant dressing up like a normal guy. A suit and a dress shirt? He was going to look like Blaine Anderson – in glasses.

Blaine ran his hands through his hair and sighed. It would be okay. Kurt barely had any time to work on his Captain America, this would just be the year they looked back on and laughed about because they both didn't meet the mark in the costume department. It would still be fun.

Kurt came home in a rush on Halloween, "I'm going to shower and get the smell of French fry grease out of my pours." Kurt said kissing Blaine quickly on the cheek, "Then we're off! You better get your costume on!"

Blaine watched Kurt go – loving the way he moved, fast, a little clumsy as he nearly ran into the corner he was rounding, but very always sexy – then Kurt disappeared into the bathroom, his costume held over his shoulder in a garment bag. Blaine still hadn't seen it, he was worried Kurt was embarrassed by it, but even with the limited time Kurt had to work on things there was no way his costume could be any worse than Blaine's feeble attempt at a "superhero".

Blaine slipped into his outfit, slacks, loafers, button down shirt – then he held up the suit jacket in one hand and the lab coat he'd purchased last minute in the other, Kurt could help him decide which to wear. He heard the shower turn off and expect Kurt to join him as slipped on his Bruce Banner glasses and stood in front of the mirror for an embarrassingly long time getting his tousled curls just right. Once he felt there wasn't really anything else to do he checked the time, they needed to leave soon. Where was Kurt?

"Kurt?" Blaine called scooping up his jacket options and heading out to the hallway, "Kurt are you ready yet?"

He walked into the living room to find Kurt leaning over and hopping on one foot as he attempted to pull on red thigh-high boot.

Blaine froze in his tracks. His mouth suddenly dry and his stomach swooping.

Kurt was wearing tight blue pants that made his already flawless ass look positively delectable. He straightened up as he got the boot on and Blaine almost wanted to whimper. The cut of Kurt's costume made his waist look trim and his shoulders broad. And his arms? God, that wasn't even fake padded muscles, Kurt's arms really just looked that good in the skintight blue shirt he wore.

Kurt turned around with a smile on his lips, he didn't have the Captain America mask on, but his hair was parted and styled in 1940s fashion and the blue of his eyes stood out, matching the blue of his outfit.

He looked spectacular.

Blaine took a step forward, the sudden urge to peel Kurt's beautiful costume off his even more beautiful body was a low, hot rumble in his stomach.

"Oh wait!" Kurt said smiling, oblivious to the way Blaine was feeling seeing his fiancé dressed as Steve Rogers, "I have the shield too!" Kurt reached to the couch where an almost perfect replica of Captain America's shield laid. He held it up in front of himself and struck pose, his expression growing serious as if he was ready to fight off Hydra right then and there.

Blaine stood silent staring at him, Kurt's sexiness aside, Blaine was having trouble processing how he had completed such a textbook spot-on outfit in the time he'd had to work on it. The red, white and blue pattern on the front was perfect, it fit him to a tee, the shield looked real and Kurt looked every inch the part of a daring superhero.

While Blaine was wearing slacks and a button down.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked standing up straight and letting his shield arm drop, "I know it isn't great, but for the amount of time I had…"

Blaine took another step towards him, "No, no Kurt. Are you kidding? It is incredible. How did you… you look… wow."

Kurt smiled again, his cheeks growing a little rosy at Blaine's praise.

"You look ready for a movie set and this shield?" Blaine reached out and let his fingers trail down it, "How?"

"Paper mache and metallic paint. This was the third attempt."

Blaine shook his head in amazement, "You are remarkable."

Kurt beamed at him, bouncing on his heels little.

"And I…" Blaine looked down at his outfit, stomach dropping, he looked like he was going to a corporate interview, not out to a Halloween party in costume.

"You look good enough to eat." Kurt's voice took on that low almost raspy timbre Kurt slipped into when he was particularly turned on.

"What?" Blaine's head snapped up in surprise to find Kurt looking at him through his lashes, his bottom lip between his teeth.

Kurt took another step towards him, brushing the hair on Blaine's forehead with his fingertips before trailing his hand down Blaine's face and neck to his chest. "Just one change." Kurt said unbuttoning a couple buttons on Blaine's shirt. "Since you seem to be going for sexy Bruce Banner you might as well go all out."

"Sexy?" Blaine said, "I don't… I wasn't trying for that."

Kurt looked up to meet his eyes, "Oh? So this is all just natural then?" He's eyes were dark as they raked over Blaine, "Purple looks amazing on you and you should do your hair that way more often." He leaned in to whisper in Blaine's ear, "It almost makes me want to stay home and slowly take this costume off you."

Blaine chuckled in surprise, happiness and desire bubbling in his chest, "I don't really like my costume, I look like just a normal, boring guy."

Kurt backed up just enough to look Blaine in the face, his expression confused, "Normal guy? You look exactly like Bruce Banner, I mean you were made for this costume, and trust me there is nothing boring about you. Ever." Kurt lowered his voice again, "You look really hot."

Blaine rubbed the back of his neck feeling much better about his costume now than he had just moments ago, "Oh well," Blaine smiled, "If you say so."

"I do." Kurt grabbed Blaine's lapels and pulled him in for a firm and passionate kiss.

Blaine dropped his jackets in favor of holding on to Kurt – they were both a little breathless once they pulled back.

"You're sure you want to go out tonight?" Kurt whispered holding Blaine close.

Blaine thought about it a moment – staying in with Kurt was very tempting, especially with him in that outfit, but Halloween only came once a year. Beside the way Kurt looked right now, Blaine wanted to show him off a little. "I think we should go out and have fun. We can leave the undressing each other part of the evening for later."

Kurt smiled as if he hoped that was what Blaine would say and then leaned down and picked up Blaine's jackets, "Lab coat I think." He said holding it out. Blaine slipped it on while Kurt grabbed his shield and mask.

"You know," Blaine said as Kurt held open the front door for him, "You put Chris Evans to shame."

"Oh please," Kurt said rolling his eyes, but looking obviously flattered. He locked the door behind them and Blaine reached out for his hand, "And…" Blaine leaned in, "No matter how many Captain Americas we see tonight, none of them have anything on your ass in that costume."

Kurt laughed and pulled him down the hall, "Come on Sexy Bruce Banner. Let's go to this party before you make me change my mind about going out tonight!"

End Notes:

Prompt: Kurt and Blaine deciding on Halloween costumes. Right now it's between Thor/Hulk (with Blaine as Banner, not Hulk) or Wonder Woman/Steve (with Blaine as Steve). Mostly Blaine is torn between being excited that they are doing a superhero theme and disappointed that his half of the costume is just dressing as a regular guy.