#then let it SIT until last night
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19 years of three cheers for sweet revenge 🖤🥀🩸
#i started this in the minneapolis airport on the way to jersey to see them#then let it SIT until last night#art#digital art#tattoo#neotraditional tattoo#mcr#my chemical romance#three cheers for sweet revenge#gerard way#frank iero#ray toro#mikey way#mine#arty art
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binding vow
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#done....collapses#up until 3am last night n sitting fr another 8 hours today to finish....#g o d#the things i do fr him.....#let it no longer b said that i only do elaborate paintings rife with symbolism tht feature gojo. megu my one true muse#as is Correct and Just#real talk tho i was just sketching th things i wanted to include without giving much thought to the Themes#w the exception being the spider lilies lmao I Know What Those Mean#but i ended up with a REALLY good life/death/marriage/loyalty thing going on????#w the lotus/spider lily being purity+rebirth/death#((not 2 mention 'far from the one he loves' like HELLO?????))#also w the temari balls being associated w femininity but having him dressed in groom's attire#like???? 90% unplanned but i ended up both cooking And eating#also happy 2 report that betta fish were kinder 2 me than the koi were :) no trouble from these lil guys#in fact everything abt this piece kind of came easily beyond the initial colour swatch??#thank u fr being an easy subject megu ilysm im sorry abt all the death imagery i dont mean it pls focus instead on th Life imagery :((((#i put a ring on it so u gotta wake up.....cant leave yuuji @ th altar ....#SPEAKING OF THE RING IK ITS ON THE RIGHT HAND we've been over this and its Okay#if i read a single comment .........#sorry 2 that one person who was like 'the next binding vow better be at itfs' wedding' ik this probably wasnt what u meant#but it did inspire me smile :)#anyway i need 2 stop looking at this its been over 24 hours
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Lucid Dreamer (1/2)
part 2
Gepard notices that it's been. Quiet lately. Like weirdly quiet. TOO quiet. He hasn't seen Sampo Koski in almost a week, which is about the longest he's ever been absent. And he is NOT worried. He's not! So what if they've been getting along more lately! So what if Gepard sometimes looks for him in his favorite hiding places! So what if he's been dreaming about blue hair and green eyes! It's nothing!!
But they're….strange, these dreams. Gepard doesn't usually remember what he's dreamt. It's out of his mind seconds within waking up. But these stick with him, they won't leave him be, they feel different somehow.
He dreams of Sampo bringing food to the frontlines and eating breakfast in his tent with him. Sampo always sneaks him extras. He dreams of chasing Sampo through the alleyways, Sampo sometimes letting himself be caught, Gepard sometimes catching him, and trying to ignore how it feels more like a game now more than anything else. He even dreams that Sampo tags along with him on one of his few civilian days. Sampo runs errands with him, prattles about inane bullshit while Gepard picks out groceries for the week, drags Gepard into some bakery he's never been to but he thinks Serval mentioned once.
And sometimes, it feels so close to reality, that Gepard half expects to see Sampo, shamelessly swaggering into the frontlines with all the guards' breakfast like his wanted poster wasn't only recently taken off the walls of Belobog. He's disappointed when it's always someone else instead. He tells himself his disappointment is ridiculous and if Sampo wants to go prowl around the Snow Plains or wherever he is, then fine. It's not any of his business.
…But it IS his job to investigate any unusual criminal activity relating to the frontlines. And the frontlines are Sampo's usual haunting grounds, and this is unusual activity, and Sampo IS technically a criminal, so it is absolutely part of his duty to look into this - is what Gepard tells himself the entire tram ride down into the Underground.
Natasha tells him he's gone, and Gepard has to steel himself. He knew Sampo made enemies wherever he went, there are a lot of people who would love his head on a platter, but he didn't think-
Natasha corrects him that she means literally gone. As in off-planet. Sampo always leaves her a note before he goes anywhere, so she knows not to expect any supply runs from him. He should be back in exactly two weeks. Thank the Preservation.
Gepard goes back home. He waits.
The uneasiness doesn't leave him.
"Where did you go?" Sampo stops dead in the middle of some story about Seele, and how you'd think someone with as blunt a mouth as her wouldn't have so much trouble asking a woman out, even if that woman IS the Supreme Guardian, and stares at him. He nearly fumbles his cigarette.
"Ahaha, what do you mean, I'm right here?" Sampo smiles at him the same way he always does. Gepard has no idea why he asked. It just popped out. He can never tell when Sampo is lying, anyway.
"I don't know. I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time." Gepard idly mouths at his own cigarette. He almost never smokes, but he wants to ration their stocks of Blizzard Immunity, and it helps with the cold. It's seemed colder lately, for some reason.
Gepard flicks his lighter once, twice, sighs at the third time because a metal prosthetic and thick gloves make the damn things so difficult. Sampo reaches over and wordlessly kisses the end of his cigarette to Gepard's, lighting it. "Thank you."
Nothing happens for almost a full 30 seconds. Something churns behind Gepard's ribcage. Because Sampo never leaves a "thank you" hanging. This is the part where he gives his spiel about how helpful and kind he is and Gepard either brings up how long his rap sheet was before Bronya helped clear his name, or just stares deadpan because seeing Sampo squirm is weirdly satisfying.
"…I'll be back in one more week."
Gepard jolts awake in his cot, mouth dry and eyes bleary.
The hell.
The next dream he has, Sampo looks tired. Sometimes he seems normal. Sometimes he says strange things, like how he wishes he'd gone to some restaurant in Belobog. Ate his favorite food more recently. Brought something with him. Gepard asks why he can't do that now. Where would he bring something? Sampo only shrugs. His rebuttals have less energy.
Gepard doesn't know if he wants to dream more, or less.
He ticks down the days on his calendar. Natasha hasn't told him any different. She promised she would if she got any kind of message. Sampo returns tomorrow, from whatever vacation or seedy business dealings he's been off having. He is not excited about it. He is not looking forward to it. He's not!!
Gepard falls asleep late that night, unable to settle. He dreams again.
He's alone. There are tons of people everywhere, the frontlines are always crowded. But he's alone. They all pass right by him as though he were a ghost. Gepard starts to walk before he realizes his feet are even moving.
He checks the trashcans in the dead end alley. He checks the supply crates that someone always stacks too high because they don't feel like finding more space for them. He pauses to check the soldiers that march past him, watching their footprints in the snow.
He finally finds Sampo on the rooftop along the northernmost wall, the one that looks out over the plains, towards Everwinter Hill, towards where the Stellaron had once been kept. With a full moon and an entire land of white snow, Gepard can almost see clear out to the horizon.
"Found you." Sampo stiffens, and Gepard is almost prepared for him to sprint off the roof. He doesn't. But he doesn't relax either. Gepard sits down next to him and stares out at the wastelands.
"…I fucked up." It wasn't what Gepard had been expecting. Sampo never 'fucks up,' Sampo just gets into incidents that are entirely, supposedly, not his fault and that he just happens to always be within the vicinity of.
"What did you do now?" It must be really bad if Sampo is coming to the Silvermanes for protection.
Instead, Sampo ignores his question completely. "See out over there? Right on the other side of that mountain. There's a safe house that way. It's hidden under a lot of snow and dead trees, but it's there. And in that safe house is a box full of letters. I need you to deliver those letters for me."
Gepard's brow furrows. It's a weird favor to ask. Sampo would never tell anyone where his hidden safehouses were. It defeated the whole purpose of a hidden safe house.
Something is wrong, something is really really wrong.
Gepard turns back to look at him again and startles, all of his questions dying in his throat, because the entire left side of Sampo's head is suddenly matted down, dark and sticky, his skin is dyed red red red-
"In three more months, there's gonna be something big happening." Gepard grabs Sampo's hand and it feels slick and warm against his palm. "I won't be here. So I need you to do my end of things for me." Gepard tries to keep hold, but something is fading, something is slowing, the sun is coming up but the colors are all wrong, everything feels like encroaching fog, Sampo's hand slides right through his. "I was gonna come back with my mask to finish setting the stage, but…" Gepard makes a frantic grab for Sampo's wrist, the air twists, he comes back empty-handed. "They have you. And you're the Iron Wall of Belobog. So it'll be ok."
Gepard finally manages to find his grip, snatches the front of Sampo's dark wet jacket and yanks him forward to hold onto him, and this close up, he can see it better, his colors are bleaching out, leaking outside the lines as if Sampo will become part of the background, as if he's fading into the strange fog that's been closing in on them. His fingers are already starting to feel empty again.
"Wake up."
Gepard jolts awake, uncurls his hands from where they're fisted in the blanket, scrubs the dampness off his face. Breathes. Breathes. Breathes. Today is supposed to be the day.
He throws on his civilian clothes, and he goes down to the shipyard the IPC had built. He finds a spot where he can see every person that returns to Belobog, and he waits.
And he waits and he waits and he waits.
No one he recognizes appears.
#sampard#gepo#hsr gepard#hsr sampo#gepard landau#sampo koski#honkai star rail#hsr#blood#my fics#lucid dreamer#there was more to this but it didn't feel right included here so part 2 tomorrow maybe?#I just think Penacony being the land of dreams presents some FASCINATING possibilities like showing up in other people's dreams#the end of masquerade duet killed me just beat me dead#Sampo going through all this trouble just to protect Belobog...#poor Ray got such an earful that night haha#In the Penacony dreamscape someone can change their appearance however they want but I think in this case where one of the dreamers AREN'T-#-on Penacony it would take more concentration to keep that illusion up#and if someone were say. hurt and badly bleeding. it would start to fall apart eventually as they lost their concentration.#but oh my heart#Sampo being away and missing Belobog so badly he shows up in his friends' dreams just to do the same mundane shit they always do...#He probably showed up to everyone#he sat around and kept Natasha company in her clinic. he pestered Seele until he provoked her into asking Bronya on a date.#he played one last song with Pela and Serval. he told them he'd always kept his old bass guitar.#he took Hook out on one last joyride on his scooter and he even let her sit up front and steer like she'd always wanted.#and he stood around to shoot the shit with Gepard#he got to go do things like run domestic errands together with him. as if they could have been something more than what they were at the en#it was nice to get the chance to do all that#it was nice
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Mr. Wet
#I started this like right after listening to episode 4 and then just let it sit until last night#dndaddies#dungeons and daddies#the peachyville horror#relish wet#fan art#illustration#gouache
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Satoru walks out from the school grounds to his car, only to find it rocking back and forth rigorously. Grins mischievously to himself as he waves off the others, telling him that he's in a bit of a hurry to get home, urgent even. Only then when he enters the car, he finds you and Suguru going at it like rabid animals. Steaming up his windows, making and clawing indents onto his expensive lathered seats.
Jealousy obviously stirs in his chest and ego of course, so he simply takes the initiative and joins in on the steamy fun.
"Having fun without me I see, how rude...and in my car too? so shameless" he'd deeply chuckle, kissing behind Suguru's right ear as he fondles up on your legs from behind Suguru's broad back, grinding against him with slow, impending prods of his groins.
#last thot for the night 👀🤭#idk why i'm thinking about car sex#think at first Satoru would just find it amusing and just decides to sit back and watch the two of you go at it for a bit...makes a drink t#because lets face it the mother fucker is rich af and has a whole bar in his backset...so he DEFINITELY would make a drink as he watches#(even tho he's a lightweight LOLOL 😂💀💀)#until he obviously caves and sees the sheer intimacy and closeness you both share and it makes him feel so left out and jealous lol#neeeed to write something more about this#but i knowww i won't SOB SOB 😭😖😞#satosugu x reader#geto suguru x reader#gojo satoru x reader#geto suguru#gojo satoru#jjk
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why cant my dad just do things for himself once and awhile im so tired of this
#he has physical issues and mental but bro he doesnt even try to help himself#hes in pain constantly and wont do jack shit about it#and he KNOWS if he starts doing a little more than sit and watch tv all day he'll feel atleast slightly better#the healing process is painful both physically and mentally but he hasnt even started it#he makes me so mad oh my god#i grew up with my mom telling me “he acts that way because hes in pain” DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT#he literally tries nothing. hes gonna die in the next 10 years#hes unhealthy and overweight and barely eats and his teeth are all messed up and he cant eat anything without it hurting like hell#but nooo he wont go to the dentist noooo#we HAVE insurance its not like a money thing jesus christ#ive barely had a father because of this he's constantly in pain and so he doesnt want to talk to anyone hes threatened to hit mymom and#later blamed it on his back pain#oh my god i cannot live with him anymore im so tired of it#he doesnt even.work my mom has to work until night to feed us and keep this house running and then my dad buys random shit off the Internet#and then fucking turns around and YELLS at my mom after she gets home from a looong day of work asking Why she spends so much money#its HER money. idgaf if you share a bank account or whatever its HERS she earned all of that and spends it on shit YOU NEED.#he has brought NOTHING to this family for the last 10 years besides being a father andhe DOESNT EVEN DO THAT#ohhh and his medicine he takes for all this pain “helps him” no the fuck it doesnt hes still in somuch pain. and then it makes him tired#and he sleeps all day ohmygod#hes just there at this point. i come home and dont even look at him cuz i Know hes sitting in that stupid chair in the living room#ive tried so hard to understand that “oh he's just..acting like that cuz hes in pain and .cant help it” I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE#it feels like i barely have a father#and the audacity he has to boss me around. like i understand im your child but oh my god let me live. i dont wanna end up like you#okay hes in pain yeah? DO SOMETHING ABOUT. IT that is NO excuse to be a shitty dad. NO excuse#oh yeah i have a dad but hes emotionally distant and never sees me becausehe wont get off his lazy ass#but yet i cant stop loving him. hes so much like me sometimes and that scares me#im going mad okay
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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i’ve decided that post-canon Ed and Winry keep a little flock of chickens and it’s mostly a bunch of sweet hens that they and the kids dote on, but they also have a tiny yellow bantam rooster which Ed is in a FEUD with. they are NEMESES. this creature keeps escaping from the run and getting into things he shouldn’t and pecking at Ed’s ankles every chance he gets. the kids love him and ‘accidentally’ let him into the house where he causes utter chaos. Ed insists this is the most vile creature in the world. but of course everyone else who sees their altercations is just like “Ah. He has found a kindred spirit.”
#was contemplating a fic last night#for my 'Ed develops chronic fatigue as a result of that one time he used his own life energy as a power source' headcanon#but got very sidetracked thinking about chickens#they all have names that are either very specific mechanical engineering terms or elements/alchemical compounds#they call the rooster Pete but it's short for 'Saltpeter'#Ed did not think he was going to get attached to the chickens because he's not an Animal Person the way Al is#but in true dad-who-insisted-he-didn't-want-a-pet fashion it takes him like two weeks to become utterly smitten#fusses over 'the girls' and brings them the *good* weeds from other parts of the yard#has been seen chasing predators away from the coop brandishing a frying pan#has to go sit with them for a bit in the morning when he lets them out#(until the rooster attacks him)#gives effusive speeches about how marvelous it is that eggs exist#Winry finds it all deeply amusing#i'm not very fandom about this show i mostly just point at it and go 'wow! a good story!'#but this is what matters to me i guess#Edward Elric has chronic fatigue and chickens#fma
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I see people on tesblr just posting/creating their own rarepairs so fuck it. Erandur/Gelebor.
#skyrim#tesblr#idk i was playing last night and i don't think it would sit right with Erandur#to just leave Gelebor behind to his loneliness like that#something something the shared guilt of letting down those you cared about and being the last survivor something something#trying to ease that guilt by throwing yourself into duties to a higher power bc it's the only reason you can see to keep going#until you find other worldly people who care about you and who you allow yourself to care about#and suddenly living for yourself and for them gets easier#and you actually feel like you're LIVING again instead of mechanically following through on duties you've assigned yourself and clung to#bc you had nothing else and no other purpose or joy to be found in living for so long#but after meeting them and spending time with them you dont feel so hollow
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on the one hand i want to try for a second wind to stay up and get really into something but on the other hand im sleepy and im pretty sure my husband went to bed without me so i honestly might as well
#back in godot learning thingssssssss#trying to do anything i can to distract myself from the abysmal lack of work ive been able to find lately LOL#genuinely ive had 1 commission in the last 2 weeks like its so joever im so hungry#not to be like “the economy” but man i used to be doing upwards of 20 coms a week when i was really nuts#making a couple grand a month etc#but shits gone so to pieces between ai and the cost of living crisis that like i get no work anymore at all ever#the bone deep resistance i have to having to get another shitty day job is insane tho after what the last one did to me#idk but ive been losing a ton of sleep over it lately and ive been having nightmares every night again#so i guess i really gotta solve that sooner rather than later. esp bc we cant buy groceries indefinitely like this#ive cut back to eating cereal in the morning and then something for dinner after having a really good streak of eating 3 hardy meals a day#which sucks but what can you do#gotta stop being a big fat failure if i want to eat like a. not failure. a succeeder#ig theres the ego of it too bc coms have been my fulltime job for years so like the dead dropoff lately is so#what if it ends tomorrow right. what if it ends next week. what if it doesnt end until next year#what if it never ends and im just unemployed sitting on my ass pretending i still have a career doing what i love#which is already what it feels like bc ive been scrounging for pennies to put food on the table for months now#like idk man. its joever let it go let it die. but that means getting a shit fucking job somewhere and god i do not want to LOL#i wont have the energy to do anything anymore and im such a brittle person this time of year anyway#whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr#im gunna try to sleep bye o/
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personal vent post/diary entry incoming:
I've struggled on and off over the years with varying degrees of agoraphobia and in the past like year or so I've made massive strides and got to the point where I was able to regularly attend social or otherwise crowded events. since breaking my foot I've gone backwards so much. I'm like terrified to leave my apartment even for work and have missed a lot of it. I've only tried hanging out in public places a handful of times and haven't gone to a single show since I got hurt over a month ago. it's extremely fucking frustrating having so much progress completely lost in a fucking instant
#i was like going through a lot just before this happened but like things were looking up#i was excited to spend my summer having fun with my friends and meeting new people#i havent even been able to properly answer texts besides from a few specific people over the past several days#it feels really unfair#i was supposed to go to a show last night but i bailed at the last minute. i got way too anxious and couldnt do it#im like constantly one extremely minor event away from a panic attack. just at my boiling point 24/7#it really does not help that i have genuine like clinical paranoia about being watched/looked at#and no exaggeration every time i walk into a building everyone looks at me#I thought maybe i was just being paranoid until my friend pointed it out. its unbearable. i cant stand being asked about it#i dont even want to think about it let alone talk about it. but also i cant shut the fuck up about it#im insufferable to myself lmao i cant stop saying 'i used to be able to do that' about shit like dancing and sitting criss cross#or saying 'yeah i was planning on doing that... then i broke my foot....' about shit like going on a float trip etc lmao#like shut up about it already#why do bad things happen to mediocre people
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fucking up this jamoca cappuccino blast from br while listening to cibo matto. im going to impale myself on yhis straw because i am Half Asleep
#we didnt get back from the fuckhole that is pomona until 5am last night bc of the whole car situatiom#last night was so#so evil. we got taken to a gas station to get our tires changed by some dude w an#ginormous plumbers crack (i could have stuck a wad of $5s in there for his handywork) and his buddy wearing an fsociety tee together they#TOOK FOUR HOURS TO DO ANYTHING#THEY KEPT SITTING AROUNF AND LIKE. CALLING RANDOM ASS PEOPLE . FOR ADVUCE#arent you guys Literally Professionals. Why Are You Asking How To Change A Tire Stem#and then midway through that someone on the highway across from us lit a dumpster on fire and it was blazing for#30 mins and chuffing out black smoke while my dad called 911 to get someone out there bc we thought it was a car crash#AND THEN I FOUND A BAG FILLED W HUMAN FECES AND USED NAPKINS TIED NEATLY IN A BOW THAT STILL SMELED SO BAD..#by the time we got home i felt like a husk of a person no one was open w a bathroom except yumyum donuts and i did get a donut#that was the only highlight of last night. my dad kept apologizing to me and the kids like. dude its not your fault we hit a giant pothole#otw home#we Could Not See It#but why did chp and triple a take several hours Plus 25+ phonecalls each to let us know the insurance expired.#and the chp officer tjat had to babysit us on the side of the road to ensure we didnt get ran over or killed pn the highway#w#lookef so pissed off at us for being stranded 😐 they r always soo mad#THAT WHOLE SITUATION WAS SEVEN HOURSSS#Six flags was spo fun thooo
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...
#ever sit like a corpse in your own body?#im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we#deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to#give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway.#who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in#the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when#projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing#dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will#ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do#something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r#stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even#then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a#broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what?#lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything#done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i#think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with#thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno#whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is#hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse#but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday#unrelated
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Uhh.. today is so slow..
#i mean sure i'm excited#tonight being a concert going night#also at a venue i have not seen since it got renovated#but like#uhh#okay to be fair today was the last day of one of my collagues and i always feel so awkward in moments like these#and it kind of blocked most of my brainfunctions#and i'm in the process of rebooting#but like.. i really just want to get out and let go of whatever for a few hours#please let me skip today until gates opening already TAT#if all goes well i'll be at the venue when the open so at least i don't have to waot in line#only upside of sitting at work#because i physically cannot go early#i need to drop my backpack off at home and stuff#but still#i don't know i'm kinda just pointlessly rambling here#but i really need this tonight#alsl the weekend#thank fuck or tomorrow basically being home office day#yey typos galore#whatever#levynn tries to think
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Shadowheart’s parents clearly struggling but making a point to use their daughter’s My-Little-Pony-villain chosen name. True allies
#I somehow never thought to actually. Talk to them at camp as Shadowheart jfjhk#until last night bc I’m starting to wrap everything up#whoops this was sitting in Drafts hell. let’s set it free
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URGENT!!!Help Abdul Salam Al-Anqar and his family get through this war in Gaza!!!
(URGENT) THEY ARE AT €3,445 OUT OF €50,000 GOAL
I was asked by @nader5555 to make this, if u cannot donate please please share this post. Copy pasted from a message i was sent:
"Only a Few Hours Left Before We Enter Our First Year of War, Genocide, Starvation, and Displacement A Final Plea from the Heart of Hell: Save Us Before Hope Dies 💔🔥 I am Abdel Salam, and I have nothing left but words written by a trembling hand ✍️. The war has not only destroyed our lives; it has taken everything from us. Our home, which was once our refuge, is now a pile of rubble 🏚️.
My car, my only source of livelihood, was destroyed in a sudden strike 🚗, and the work that sustained us is now a distant memory 💼. Today, I live in an endless nightmare. Under a sun that burns everything in its path 🌞🔥, my family and I sit in a worn-out tent, a tent that shields us neither from the summer heat nor the winter cold ❄️. Insects 🦟 invade the place, diseases consume our bodies 🩺, and my younger siblings cry from hunger and thirst 🍞💧. We have no clean water or a crumb of bread to ease our hunger. Each passing day deepens the weight of this hell we live in.
My Daughter Eman is Dying from Malnutrition 😨 My daughter Eman suffers from malnutrition; I have nothing to feed or treat her with. The deterioration of her health is killing me slowly. Every glance in her eyes, every pain she endures, crushes my heart 💔. How can I explain to her that what was once our hope has now turned into nothing but a mirage? The Night Only Adds to Our Pain 🌙 The night does not bring us rest; it only adds to our pain. We sleep on hard ground, feeling the cold in every bone of our bodies 🥶, with nothing but pieces of cardboard 📦 to cover us. My wife Aya cries in silence 🥺 as she watches our daughter’s future fade before her eyes. My mother Eman suffers from illness and needs urgent medical care 🩺💊.
My Father Ahmed is Sick with Cancer and Needs Emergency Treatment My father Ahmed, who is sick with cancer, needs emergency treatment outside Gaza, and the cost of his treatment is at least $10,000, not including accommodation. As he suffers from severe pain, I cannot provide the treatment he needs due to our dire situation.
My Siblings Are in Constant Suffering ⚰️ My brother Omar was unable to continue his studies due to the situation. My brother Nader could not take his high school exams, and my younger brother Mohammad suffers from brittle bones and needs treatment we cannot afford. Every day we live brings us one step closer to the end. Death surrounds us from every side: if not from hunger 🍽️, then from illness 🦠. And if not from illness, then from the despair that devours our souls. Where is Humanity? Where is the World? 🌍💔 We want to leave the devastated Gaza Strip to escape the machinery of destruction and killing and the severity of hunger and poverty. The cost of travel for each person is $5,000, and we are a family of seven members, bringing the total cost to $35,000.
Where are the compassionate hearts? Are you waiting for us to disappear into the depths of this suffering? Are you waiting until death takes us before you act? We are drowning, and we don’t have enough strength to scream for help 🆘. Will you let this cry go unanswered? 😭 Your donation today is our last thread of hope. With the little support I received, I was able to buy a simple phone 📱 to reach out to you. But the bitter truth is that what I and my family need is much greater. We are not asking for much; just enough to save our lives from this hell 🔥. Every donation, no matter how small, could be the difference between life and death for us 👐. Don’t Let Us Disappear in the Darkness of Suffering 🌑 Don’t let our story end here. Be the light that guides us to salvation 🕯️✨.
With every tear, with every pain, I write this final plea to you, Abdel Salam."
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#my art#**mine#free palestine#free gaza#gfm#palestine gfm#b00st#help#mutual 4id#donation link#boost#signal boost#art#artists on tumblr#digital artist#digital art#artblr#save palestine#palestine#all eyes on palestine#free plaestine#gaza#from river to sea palestine will be free#artists#please help#important#edit: changing photos per nader5555's request
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