#then it can be assumed that she has always been trans and it just hasn’t come up in conversation before

[sexshopshenanigans]

The guy in the gc sounds like a kid who just learned that his kindergarten teacher doesn’t live in the school but has a house they go home to every day, except he thinks the teacher still used to live in the school and only made a major change to their character by having a house the minute he learned about it

"what proof do you have that this character is trans" well first of all I only prophesize and state the truth

[blackholesun321]

Idk why but I think it would be fun if Shanks and Mihawk are trans, but Shanks is a trans man and Mihawk is a trans woman and we change nothing of how they look or how they behave—

Shanks was probably like 7 when he went to his dads and was like, Hey, I’m a boy, and they were like, Hell yeah, you are, and he’s been on hormones, puberty blockers, and then testosterone, and either worked out enough he didn’t need top surgery or got top surgery by 18-19. So literally no one knows he’s trans aside from Crocus, Rayleigh, maybe Buggy, (but I like to think he just forgets—) and Beckman because they met when someone insulted Roger (saying he probably sucked dick before he was executed), so he pulled out his packer and threw it at the guy (saying he could suck this fucking dick) and just went all attack! grieving fourteen year old.

Mihawk, on the other hand, was like 16-18 when the egg cracked and she learned that no one else secretly wants to be a woman and I can be if I just decide to be and was like, "Hey, I’m a woman... cool.” But also has no want or need to change her body; hell, she loves how she looks, but she’s not on any hormones, she likes her beard, hasn’t done voice training, and isn’t getting bottom surgery. She also in the most Mihawk way possible kind of just assumes everyone else knows and doesn’t feel the need to tell anyone? And because of that weird assumption that everyone knows she’ll just stab people who use the wrong pronouns.

(This is how she became the Marine hunter; they kept calling her him, and she kept stabbing because rude, even though she makes no effort to correct anyone at all.

Garp is the only person who’s clocked; she uses she/her pronouns and calls her she always, and everyone thinks he’s insulting her. But really he’s just look she’s a pirate but I’m not going to miss-gender a fellow queer, and also explains this to no one.)

Accept Shanks, who she politely told after their first duel, and she’d already stabbed him reminded (not even revealing). reminded him of her pronouns. And he was like, all alright 👍 and just started calling Mihawk by her pronouns, also explaining this to no one. (Accept for Beckman because he doesn’t want her to stab him. He’d have to do paperwork.)

Anyway, after some fun times and making out, Shanks offers her the name of the guy he gets his hormones from (it’s Crocus; he's mailed them via Coo for years now). and Mihawks like hormones? Why would I want to change me? I’m awesome. And Shanks agrees that yeah, she already has a pretty great pair of tits, and Mihawk pushes him out of the hammock.

[anthurak]

One thing that always feels so funny for me when it comes to the Rosebird Parents Theory isn’t when people simply disagree with the theory, but rather people apparently seeing the prospect of a ‘Raven is Ruby’s real father’ reveal to be this totally unthinkable thing and how could anyone ever think this could happen?!

Because once you get past the whole ‘two ladies making a baby’ hurtle, Raven being Ruby’s dad really fits into so many well-known fantasy/sci-fi tropes. Many of which RWBY notably has not done yet, or have already been tied to Raven herself.

I mean, the mysterious villainous and/or anti-heroic loner with ties to the family pulling an ‘I am your Father’ reveal on the protagonist? That’s a fucking CLASSIC. Hell, let’s consider a few things about Raven:

Big, intimidating helmet.

Clear Samurai inspiration.

Wields a katana-like sword that technically has an energy blade (dust=energy) which is generally RED-colored.

Possesses mysterious and terrible over-worldly powers.

Has a mysterious past tied to our protagonist’(s) family.

Was probably in love with our protagonist’s (apparently) dead mother.

Yeah I’d say Raven makes for a pretty good Darth Vader-expy.*

Beyond that specific case, we’ve already seen the story connect Raven to a BUNCH of ‘mysterious and angsty deadbeat dad who left their kid for unclear reasons’ tropes when it comes to Yang. Why not have those apply to Ruby as well? People have been clamoring for years about wanting to see Summer’s narrative dynamic with Yang explored as much as the one she has with Ruby, so why not have the reverse be true with Raven and Ruby as well?

After all, it seems that the story has now given Ruby a reason to seek Raven for answers just as Yang once did.

And as I’ve noted in previous Rosebird Parents posts, No I don’t believe Raven also being Ruby’s deadbeat dad would be somehow ‘redundant’. Particularly because the context is completely different: Yang has known that Raven is her birth-mother for most of her life, whereas Ruby would only just now be finding out that Raven is her birth-father. Far from being redundant, this would allow the story to explore two very different responses of kids to an absent parent: One who has had to live with the knowledge of that absent parent for years, and one who hasn’t and has to deal with this NEW information suddenly getting dropped on her.

Plus, as I alluded to earlier, it’s rather notable that RWBY hasn’t done some big ‘dramatic parent reveal’, given how much of a staple it is to the genre. And given how reimagining, twisting and flipping classic and well-worn fairytale/folklore/fantasy tropes (often via playing with gender-roles) is basically RWBY’s bread and butter at this point, I’d say giving the series heroine an ‘I am your father’ reveal from a woman would fit PERFECTLY in this series.

And if you’re going to ask ‘but how do two ladies make baby?!?’,

Raven can be intersex. Boom. Done.

Alternatively, magic.

As an aside, yes Summer being trans is a perfectly viable alternative. I just think logistically speaking, Raven being intersex and being Ruby’s ‘father’ makes a dramatic reveal a bit more streamlined. Also, the idea of Raven managing to be BOTH a deadbeat mom AND a deadbeat dad is just too funny XD

*Of course, this comparison gets even more fun when we consider Summer having her own Vader-parallels, ie; Summer almost certainly being taken by Salem and given what we can probably assume to be a Vader-esque makeover via grimm-hybridization in setup for a big reveal. So when we combine this with Raven, I think we can view what happened on their last mission as ‘What if Padme/Obi-wan got turned into Vader INSTEAD of Anakin?’ Like Raven in the present is basically Anakin doing Obi-wan’s traumatized hermit shtick, except all angry and edgy because it’s still Anakin.

[thatfanficauthor107]

TRANS DAICHI HEADCANONS WOO

he’s trans ftm

came out as trans to Yui during Junior High, she’s been his biggest supporter since

didn’t tell the karasuno team he was a trans guy he just let them assume he was cis

he did eventually come out to them (accidentally) (it went so well he wasn’t expecting that)

not on T, hasn’t had any surgeries

his parents aren’t supportive :(

“HIP DIPS” the crowd screams in unison

”STRETCH MARKS” the crowd screams even louder

his periods are actually pretty heavy, though the cramps aren’t

never corrects people who deadname/misgender him (doesn’t feel like he needs to make a huge deal about it even though it hurts)

Suga will though. And he does it well.

When the rest of the team found out, you bet your biscuits they corrected people, some subtle, some with threats.

He wasn’t planning on telling anyone he was trans outside of the team, but some kids who went to his junior high finally made the connection and told his whole year (by extension some of the younger years, and then when they go to matches and stuff they can always hear rumours about “apparently their captain is a girl”- people are usually on the more transphobic side) (writing a fic about this)

so this means that kuroo and the other captains eventually found out, and they were actually super accepting of Daichi (who was so nervous to talk with them after the rumours spread)

his whole family still use his deadname and call him a girl (but the sugawara family has basically adopted him as their own at this point, and treat him like a boy)

his deadname is Yukio (he thinks its a nice name, but has grown to dislike it as whenever he hears it someone is deadnaming him or being transphobic)

doesn’t feel like many people see him as a boy (even those who do see him as one)

getting a place on the boys volleyball team was a huge struggle (but Yui’s mum was a huge help)

was so happy to finally play on a boys team (also was terrified because he’d never hung out w a group of boys before)

loads of the girls in their year have just adopted him and will give anyone who even looks at him the wrong way absolute hell (he at first thought this was because they saw him as a girl, turns out half of them still thought he was cis and that he was just a girls boy. They all hang out and gossip together, so Daichi always knows everything about everyone. Some of them are in the tech department, specifically makeup and product design stuff, so they usually end up testing stuff on him.)

that lead to far more dating allegations than he was happy with

hates hates HATES the jokes people make about his thighs. he knows they’re just affectionate jokes and nothing intentionally mean, but his thighs are one of his biggest insecurities and the jokes really don’t help

his younger siblings call him Yukio and their brother - they’re confused but trying

suga always reminds him, sometimes more subtly, that he sees him as a boy (referring to him as ‘my awesome boyfriend’ ‘my husband’ ‘mister’ ‘future mr sugawara’ ‘my favourite boy’)

daichi once made the connection jokingly between pinocchio and transmen (both want to be real boys) and his contact name has been saved as pinocchio on yui’s phone ever since

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/663370772509802496/do-you-know-what-the-origin-of-the-sold-to-one

So I was looking at this old post of yours (in your fandom meta tag) and has anyone else noticed that Hogwarts AU fanfic and meta about if this or that character from another fandom would be Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw has completely disappeared? I assume that this is related to JKR’s transphobia making her (understandably) persona non grata to a lot of online queer people of the kind who dominate fanfic fandom at least on AO3 (I’m less familiar with Wattpad or other corners of fandom that are overwhelmingly cishet and writing het, and the Bridgerton drama has taught me a lot about just how out of pace a lot of them are with even elementary queer stuff, yeesh). but I was wondering if others have noticed that. It did seem to really start to crater around 2019-20 when she stopped being coy and blaming it on “middle aged moments,” and started openly making transphobic tweets and writing essays about it rather than just “liking” others’. Like when I was into Yuri on Ice circa 2016-18, it was still all over that fandom, even though people were already souring on the actual official franchise stuff such as those terrible Fantastic Beasts movies.

So I’m mostly active in anime, JRPG and Western genre TV fandoms so I was curious if this was also happening elsewhere. I’m also wondering if the fact that actual HP fandom seems to be increasingly divorced from canon (like fanon pairings of characters who never interacted in canon being the most popular lately) is related to this too.

Cuz having a Hogwarts AU used to be a sign that a fandom had Arrived. I remember in 2016 you saw people doing house sortings for the people on the frickin 538 political podcast. Now I never see any of that even with huge fandoms.

It’s interesting to me given that it feels like her transphobia hasn’t dented much of her popularity with non online nerd culture. Like the third Fantastic Beasts movie failed but those had never been good and had been declining in box office numbers already. But the Hogwarts Legacy game sold really well. You still see HP in stores all over the place with other nerd culture staples like Star Wars and Marvel. Still constantly see brands doing collabs. I often find non online friends and family, including many who are genuine allies to the trans people in their lives, who have no idea about her transphobia. Or they’ve only heard a little and assume it’s some weird insular online culture thing that is just fans nitpicking, maybe having heard about some other Twitter “canceling” over nothing and figuring it’s like that. They’re always shocked and horrified when I tell them what she’s actually saying and doing.

--

Interesting question.

For me, as an Old, it just feels like Hogwarts AUs are part of my childhood, and why wouldn't they be less common now? But realistically, if they actually are declining, it does mean something.

There's no way for us to know if the "Would X be a Hufflepuff?" posts are really a thing of the past. That could be a question of whom one follows or of fans leaving one's platform. But we can at least poke at some AO3 tags and see if they show a pattern.

The relevant tags are Alternate Universe - Hogwarts and its metatag Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting.

There are 21,426 works in the metatag. Obviously, not everything uses the tag, but it's a starting point. (Some cursory playing with filters on big tags makes me think that maybe around 3/4 of HP AUs are actually tagged with a relevant AU tag.)

If we look at the AU tag itself, the numbers have come down in the last few years. (This year is obviously only half over, so we'd expect those numbers to be smaller.)

But we have to take into account how big the archive itself was. It's been growing significantly since it opened to staff accounts in late 2008 and then more widely in late 2009, so the overall rise doesn't mean much, but the recent drop might.

It does seem like there's a downward trend lately, but it doesn't look like it's falling off a cliff.

[andyxd151]

More YV OC lore bits

Oliver- Sugar boo (he/him)

Rina- rook (she/her)

Amari- Casper (she/they/he)

Ryuko- Sunflower (she/they)

Dante-Starshine (he/they)

Cyrus-Angel (they/he)

Kaliska- buddy (she/her)

Firstly, all of my OC’s are color coded if you haven’t noticed: Oliver is green, Rina is pink, Amari is blue, Ryuko is red, Dante is purple, Cyrus is yellow, and Kaliska is orange

Oliver is an absolute cologne whore, like he is absolutely ready to drop his draws at the drop of a hat for some Aqua de parfume (I think that’s how it’s spelled) that’s actually a pretty big reason why he fell for Alphonse, was because he smelled so good

Cyrus had an awkward anime phase when he was in middle school, he’s just thankful there’s no photos of him during that lime so that way Lucien can’t find them and ask about it

When they were still getting to know each other, Dante would pretty much stalk Faust’s socials just to see more of him. He won’t admit it but he still feels embarrassed because he knows how creepy and weird it was, Faust has no idea and Dante doesn’t want him to think he’s creepy so he just has to pray he never somehow finds out he did that

Rina and Dante are like bffs and “playfully” shit talk each other whenever they meet up

In HS, Amari once got into an argument with someone who was making fun of Charlie and ended up simply throwing a desk at said person, she was suspended for 2 weeks and Charlie was dying from guilt

Rina has a ragdoll Siamese cat named Nyxey (Nix-ey)

Ryuko has a part-time job as a tattoo artist artist and has a dragon spinal tat that she a friend of theirs did for them in college, her mother will NEVER find out about it

When Kaliska was 9, her dad had taken her and her siblings to Las Vegas, and she saw the pretty women that her dad had brought over to the motel room when her older sister took them to the pool to leave the adults be (I’m sure you can assume why) seeing those women ended up being her trans awakening, they were so beautiful to her, she wanted to look just like them. She still thinks about that from time to time

Oliver’s father left the picture when he was around 3-4 years old so he has very little memory of him, but his mother and family always say he looks just like him, especially after his transition. He hates it

Rina is a sucker for old love music and melts every time she hears it, Auron has in fact taken notice of this

Cyrus actually had a hobby in cooking and baking when he was younger but was made fun of by his parents and older relatives, saying it was a “women’s job to do that” and “it made him look too girly”. He’s completely comfortable with being “girly” now but he still hasn’t been able to enjoy it the way he used to, so he just enjoys watching Lu do the cooking instead

Amari was premature and has a heart murmur ( projecting abit)

Amari made their nickname “Casper” into “ghost” and uses that for all of his socials

Kaliska actually majors in Scientology and Jack thinks she’s super duper smart and cool for it, she is in fact super smart and cool

Ryuko calls everyone babe but calls only calls Finn “sunshine” and “sweetheart” he loses his mind every single time

When they were younger, Amari, Rina, and Oliver used to practice jumping over fences and brick walls with the older kids on the street for fun (projecting again)

I gave those three those colors bc of the power puff girls

Ryuko and Amari had a bit of a situationship in college, they’re friends now tho

Ryouko’s vibe is more or less based off of Marceline from Adventure Time

Rina actually bumped into Auron once in hot topic at the mall when she was in high school, she was actually infatuated with him for a solid week and called him her “emo boy” to her “pretty scene girl” she still has no idea it was him she bumped into that day (I hope y’all get the song refs)

Dante had a habit of chewing his nails so in order to stop it, Faust started painting his nails for him every other weekend. It worked bc Dante didn’t want to ruin the work Faust work so hard on for him

Amari spoils the ever living sh*t out of DD and Charlie gets a little bit hurt when DD goes to them whenever he’s cuddling up with her and DD just wedges themself between them

Cyrus has had to buy Lucien those cheep Obama phones you get outside of the Well-fare office simply because Lucien accidentally breaks or burns his phone and CANT be trusted with an actual phone

Imma end this here, I might add more but I’m tired and on day 2 of my.

So I’ll do that later

[doll-elvis]

What does Reeca Smith look like? I tried looking up photos but nothing seems to come up..

I got a few asks about Reeca Smith so I thought I would combine them here <3, thank you guys for the questions !!

As for the first ask: sorry some of these are aren’t the best quality 😩 but all these pictures of Reeca in 1974 were taken from the documentary “Elvis: Heartbreaker” also called “Elvis’ Women” or “Loving Elvis” depending on the country where you are streaming it

Reeca is on the right in this group photo

And this is Reeca pictured with the Trans Am that Elvis purchased for her ⬇️

If you’re in the North America and unable to watch the documentary, here is a tutorial that I posted awhile back, it still works and I use this method myself !! ⬇️

Second ask: As for any intimacy, this is all that Reeca has said on the subject ⬇️

Since she didn't mention kissing or any other form of intimacy in her most recent interview, I'm assuming it wasn't something that played a major role in their relationship. She has stated that Elvis and her would mostly just talk, and that he especially enjoyed just reading the Bible to her. I think Reeca’s dynamic with Elvis was exactly the same as girls like Heidi, Frances, Gloria and Arlene. All of those girls have only ever talked about Elvis in high regards, and I think that really does speak volumes

However, although these girls don’t see themselves as victims, and while I do truly believe that Elvis never took advantage of them, it still doesn’t justify the kissing. Like you said this is obviously a very hard pill to swallow for any Elvis fan but it personally helps me to try to understand Elvis’ intentions and his mindset when he involved himself with those girls. And so when they all say that it was very innocent, I believe them, and I can honestly say without a doubt, that I think Elvis had good/pure intentions and that the situation wasn’t as black and white as some people try to make it seem

As for the third ask: In terms of Reeca overstating her importance, that very well could be possible, but to give her the benefit of the doubt, Elvis invited a lot of people on tour 😩 and they weren’t always girls that he was dating, for example Jeanne Lemay Dumas who was Linda’s friend and the Alden sisters (Ginger’s family)

If she was invited by Elvis like she says, that doesn‘t mean that Reeca would have been his main girl or anything like that on the tour, it’s likely that he still would have had either Sheila or Linda with him as his girlfriend. Also Reeca was good friends with Ricky Stanley who accompanied Elvis on tours, so that could have been another factor

Infact the very first day that Reeca hanged out with Elvis, Linda, Ricky and David Stanley accompanied them. And in that amazon documentary Linda acknowledged Reeca and also referred to her as one of Elvis’ “dalliances”, so she was at least aware of Reeca’s friendship/relationship with Elvis

** also I saw you mentioned Elvis possibly dating Maggie Smith and I got another ask about her that I am currently researching for (desperately trying to find a copy of this book written about her 😩) and so hopefully I will have more info on her by then

quote from Maggie (Magnolia) Smith 💗

but just from the little research I have done so far, it’s looking like it’s unlikely that they ever dated. Maggie Smith herself hasn’t said that she dated him, Marty Lacker said she was someone Elvis felt sorry for and therefore given a job, and Nurse Tish and Mary Jenkins also only referred to her as one of the maids/employees. Only Nancy Rooks has said that she dated Elvis so I’m still trying to figure out who is telling the truth 😭 like why would Nancy just make that up?

As for Elvis possibly wanting to pursue a serious relationship with Reeca, I don’t think he meant to do so until she was much older

Reeca said this about Elvis wanting a possible future with her ➡️ “He said ‘I know you’re are young but when you’re older, maybe in a couple years, maybe we can go places and have more of a relationship’”

I don’t believe their relationship ever became “serious”, especially since Reeca has never said that they formally dated. He only saw her September and November of 1974, and then for the last time in January of 1975. He was probably preoccupied with Sheila Ryan, Linda Thompson and Ann Pennington etc etc 🤧

I hope this helps anyone who wanted to know more about Reeca, I would love to hear what you guys think, or if you have any info yourself on Reeca or Maggie that you want to share 💗!!

[allfortheslay25]

another question the miloverse but what are the adults (abby,wymack,bee) opinions on neil and milo not based off of neil’s perspective/what he thinks they think about him

This is a great question! I’ve been wanting to share their perspective of the story (but I gotta wait for the Raven King arc before any of their POVs are seen)

These opinions will be based on what I currently have in the fic and not go further than that (wouldn’t want to spoil anything)

Abby sees Neil as this sad and lonely boy who’s had to grow up way too fast and it’s the reason he’s mistrusting of adults. She wants to help unburden him and give Neil and Milo someone they can lean on (unfortunately she doesn’t know that it can’t be her—not completely anyways)

Abby also thinks Neil is too young to be a parent and it’s not that she wants someone to take away Milo but she wants Neil to realize he isn’t wholly mature for this responsibility yet. Abby wants to give Neil the chance to realize that being responsible for a child isn’t just their basic physical needs but their emotional ones too.

Abby’s less attached opinion of Neil is that he’s sarcastic but polite to adults, he needs to learn to take care of his body and set good examples. Neil’s also reckless and clumsy and in desperate need of round the clock first aid.

Her opinions on Milo are far more basic. He’s a cute kid, highly intelligent which scares her. She worries for his mental health but she knows she’s no professional and shouldn’t make assumptions. Abby can tell Milo is malnourished but considering his growing diet, she won’t bring it up until Milo shows signs of sickness (Milo is growing fast and healthy for someone who’s had a bad diet since birth) She thinks Milo looks like Neil despite everyone believing otherwise. Abby wants Milo to be able to go to school and get as many chances as he can get. She thinks Milo is lonely. Abby can tell something isn’t okay with Milo because sometimes he just spaces out for hours and his appetite disappears and he takes longer naps and all of it worries her.

Wymack thinks Neil is in need of this chance at Palmetto. It isn’t just because Neil needs this chance to play exy and make something of himself. It’s this chance to sleep on a bed under a roof, have breakfast on a table, have a private shower, and someone to turn to if he needs help.

Wymack wasn’t expecting Neil to be trans, let alone come out to everyone so soon. Neil’s old coach had mentioned Neil always changed and showered separately but Wymack assumed it had to do with scars or bruising he wanted to hide. This doesn’t change his opinions about Neil in the slightest and now Wymack is looking for books on Transgender people so he knows what Neil needs and doesn’t accidentally offend him.

Wymack thinks Neil is this kicked cat he found on the side of the road, it’s got these mean old claws but that’s just because it’s scared and has been taking hits instead of being cared for. Milo is the extension of it. Wymack can’t read Milo at all. He’s quiet and wary of Wymack but not in the way Neil is. When Neil looks at him, there’s fear in his eyes and he stares right through Wymack as if seeing a ghost. Milo doesn’t have that fear, just caution. Milo is insanely smart and has a knack for picking up things quickly (Wymack’s tempted to let him watch the Foxes scrimmage so Milo can let them have it on what they’re doing wrong)

Wymack thinks Neil has a soft heart and raised a smart and kind boy. But he thinks they both need some parental guidance that obviously shouldn’t come from whatever two abusive pricks they were living with before.

Bee is different in her opinions. I mean they relatively follow the same idea but she hasn’t gotten to meet Neil and has only heard things about him from about every person but Neil himself. From what she’s heard, she thinks Neil won’t stick around to meet her when classes start. The optimistic in her hopes he’ll stick around for the long run.

Bee has met Milo, even if he hadn’t said a word, his body language spoke volumes. Bee thinks Milo is either scared of adults, or adult women but seeing as Abby and Mandy are constantly chatting about what a great kid he is, maybe he’s just scared of strangers. Milo was drawn in on himself when they met, although he wouldn’t flinch, he’d freeze and his eyes would widen ever so slight as if he were trying to hide his fear. He’d do that every time Bee did so much as sit down or fold her hands together. She realized that Milo can’t be bought with sweets because he won’t eat or drink something a stranger gives him (smart kid)

Bee thinks Milo has some level of insomnia considering what Abby has told her about Milo’s nightmares and seeing the boy’s deep sunken exhausted eyes, it’s just confirmed more. Milo is too good at staying still so Bee thinks someone has either beaten that teaching into him or he’s learned to mindlessly follow orders from adults (Bee hopes Neil isn’t the one who’s made his son into a statue)

Despite all of this, Bee thinks Milo has a very curious personality. His eyes had tracked Bee’s every movement and had attempted to drink up the sight of every inch of her house when he thought she wasn’t looking. His eyes don’t scan exits like Bee has heard Neil does frequently, instead he watches for rooms and spaces which makes her think Milo likes to hide in times of desperation and just maybe, he’s good at it.

Bee wants to get to know both Neil and Milo and more importantly than her curiosities, she wants to help them.

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Four Cups of Coffee and a Plastic Flower

(wip of the trans!pavitr fic) + tamil translations under cut + little life update??

டக்–டக்! ¹

Bhim leapt up to open the door quicker than Maya could track him across the room. Hurrying to finish the four cups of coffee, Maya heard the door slam open and a series of giggles echoing through the hallways. Bhim’s voice was loud, light and breezy as he said, ‘Ah, there’s my favourite little pappu kutty²! Did you miss Bhim Uncle?’

‘Aamaam³! Hi, Uncle!’ came Parvati’s shrill voice, her laughter cut short as she was presumably swung about the room by Bhim. Maya couldn’t help but chuckle, trying to imagine everything going on in the neighbouring room. She had been in the kitchen all day while Bhim had been tidying up the home as best as he could, the two preparing lunch for when the Prabhakar family came over to spend the day together. As usual, it was another meeting set up by Bhim and his brother Rijul, boys who were inseparable since birth. Maya and Rijul’s wife Manjula spent most of their days catching each other up on their husbands’ antics; but those days of gossiping over the telephone had quietened once Rijul and Manjula had a daughter keeping them on their toes.

Pulling out a brass tray, Maya placed the cups onto it and carried the whole set out of the kitchen. Turning into the living space with the tray and coffee balanced carefully in her hands, she beamed wide at the three guests in their small home.

Sitting opposite to Bhim on the small flower-patterned couch were Rijul and Manjula, both dressed in casual clothes — Rijul in his famous blue plaid shirt and khaki pants, and Manjula in her orange churidar. Rijul often readjusted his too-big glasses on the bridge of his nose, which Manjula always complained to Maya during their many phone calls, saying, I’ve told him so many times, but those frames are too big for him. He never listens to me, of course, he just likes the shape of them.

Upon seeing her, Manjula smiled and said, ‘Hello, Maya! Been a long time, hasn’t it?’

Setting down the tray on the table set between the couch and chairs, Maya handed her a cup of coffee. ‘Manjula, I missed you,’ she said with faux sadness but still with that tenderness she reserved for her friend, her family. ‘What has Rijul dragged you into this time?’

Rijul coughed, taking his cup from Maya’s outstretched hand. ‘Nothing!’ he said indignantly, readjusting his glasses. ‘Well, I didn’t have any plans for today. Parvi wanted to see you guys again.’

As if on cue, Parvati wailed and tried climbing up Bhim’s leg, babbling out a string of sounds. She moved too much for Maya to give Bhim his cup of coffee without it being knocked over, so she instead sat beside Bhim on a metal framed chair, watching as her niece playfully tugged at Bhim’s veshti. 

Parvati Prabhakar looked a lot like her father, and thus a lot like her uncle, too — Maya could pick out the wide nose she saw on Bhim, and her warmer, darker skin tone was from her father. The thick, sloping eyebrows was another thing she shared with Rijul, but Parvati’s hair, braided tightly and intricately and tied off at the end with a plastic flower hair tie, was much thicker and silkier than her father or Bhim’s wispy, greying hair. Maya assumed it came from her mother, and she couldn’t help but point it out.

‘My, look at your hair, kutty pappa²,’ she gushed, reaching for Parvati. She was rewarded with the preschooler looking at her with large eyes and trotting forward, grabbing onto her patterned skirt with curiosity. ‘It’s so beautiful and soft.’

Parvati gave her a toothy grin. ‘Thank you, Aunty! Amma ennaku mudi pinnitanga⁴,’ she said in Tamil, doing her best to emphasise the sounds that often got lost in colloquial conversation. ‘Romba azhagaa pinnitanga!⁵’

‘Ah, romba azhagaa irukkuthu!⁶’ Maya echoed. ‘You speak Tamil very well, kutty pappa. Can you understand English? Do amma and appa make you learn English?’

An emphatic nod paired with pouting lips, followed by a stilted, ‘I can speak English!’ Then a pause, and Maya could see the gears turning in the kid’s brain before Parvati switched back to Tamil: ‘Ammavum appavum TV-la English serial poduvanga. Ennaku suthuma pidikaathu! Eppa pathalum anthu Cocomelon varum. Vithiyasama munji vechirakum, Aunty; bayama irukkuthu paakkambothu.⁷’

For emphasis, Parvati shivered and plastered a frightened look on her face.

‘It’s good for you, chellum²,’ Manjula insisted. ‘You learned a new word today, from the…the Incy Wincy song. Come on, tell Maya Aunty and Bhim Uncle your new word.’

Parvati frowned harder, reaching for her braid and tugging at it. Maya reached out and stroked the crown of Parvati’s head, fingers sliding over the neatly-combed hair in an attempt to get her to relax. The touch seemed to give Parvati that little boost of confidence, and she puffed out her chest and said loudly, ‘It’s “Itsy Bitsy Spaidar”, ma.’

Everyone feigned understanding and clapped, and that eased a smile out of Parvati. Maya let her hand trace down Parvati’s braid and pulled it back over the little girl’s shoulder, her fingernail catching on the plastic flower at the end, smiling as Parvati continued listing off her favourite words.

#1. டக்–டக் or "tak-tak" is just onomatopoeia i made up for someone knocking on the door.

#2. "pappu kutty", "kutty pappa" and "chellum" are just variations of the same thing, an endearment for children (i.e. "baby", "darling")

#3. "Aamaam!" translates to "Yes!/Yeah!"

#4. "Amma ennaku mudi pinnitanga" is roughly "Mum braided my hair for me"

#5. "Romba azhagaa pinnitanga!" is "She braided it so beautifully!"

#6. "Ah, romba azhagaa irukkuthu" is "Yes, it is very beautiful"

#7. "Ammavum appavum TV-la English serial poduvanga. Ennaku suthuma pidikaathu! Eppa pathalum anthu Cocomelon varum. Vithiyasama munji vechirakum, Aunty; bayama irukkuthu paakkambothu" is just "Mum and dad put on English serials (shows) on the TV. Cocomelon always shows up. It makes/has a weird face, Aunty. It's scary to watch [it]."

#8. not really a translation but the reason why "spider" is written as "spaidar" is because that would be how "spider" was transliterated- "ஸ்பைடர்" -> ஸ்-பை-ட-ர் (s-pai-da-r) so that's just something Neat for you. also fun fact the first letter ஸ "sa" is not even a tamil letter, it's sanskrit, because funny enough most indian scripts/languages will borrow sanskrit letters/words that the existing alphabet doesn't have. i don't know why it happens, i think in the case of tamil it might have been the spread of indo-aryan cultures mixing with dravidian cultures? don't quote me on that

---

okay life update. holy shit you actually got down this far. i appreciate it, really

okay look. i feel really bad for not posting anything mmau-related recently. both here and on ao3. it's like i've killed the mmau hype that i built up a year ago, like all the enthusiasm just seemingly vanished in such a short time.

truth is: i think about the mmau all the time. it's just the depression has actually knocked me off the board and i'm just Stuck Thinking. truly i think about pavitr and his history and his family and friends and the shenanigans he gets up to. i even think about writing emails begging marvel asking about new pavitr stories (like an idiot)

but everything is Very hard nowadays and i feel bad and have to remind myself that i'm doing all i can just to make it through another day. even when i manage to grab a few moments for myself. i still really can't bring myself to do anything fun lol.

so. anyway. here. a snippet of a mmau fic that has been in the works for literal months. adding one or two lines whenever i can. it's about pavitr and maya aunty. about them growing up together. about hair days and trauma and persistence. it's also trans pavitr so you REALLY don't want to miss out when i drop this banger on the world wide web !!!!

okay cool sick unintentional emotional dump now bye bye and enjoy the ficlet !!!

[dankusner]

A moment with Sedaris

David Sedaris might be the greatest living humorist in America, if anyone could decide what “humorist” means. (Do stand-ups count?)

The author of more than a dozen essay collections, most recently Happy-Go-Lucky , Sedaris returns to Dallas on April 25.

We talked to him about travel, his early ’80s opioid addiction and why he’s giving people permission to say “shut up.”

The Dallas Museum of Art has brought you to Dallas 15 times. Do you think of yourself as the Seinfeld of the “Arts & Letters Live” series or the Gunsmoke ?

Ooh. I’m gonna go with Gunsmoke .

I assume you’re flying on this book tour.

Flying is not in its peak form.

I’m on planes constantly, but I’ve never seen a fistfight.

I’m not on the right airlines. I think that happens on Frontier or Spirit.

The fistfight airlines [laughs].

I’m impressed you haven’t gotten into the rut of writing about travel and the publicity grind, a danger for writers who tour as much as you.

Sometimes things do happen.

I was just in Kenya, and there are a lot of missionaries.

I was on a small plane, talking with the guy across the aisle, and I told him, “I’ve just been to a little village, so impoverished, and I worried people thought I was a missionary. I would rather be mistaken for a pedophile than a missionary!”

And then he said, “I’m a missionary.”

Oh my God.

Not only was he a missionary, he was a doctor who had just performed neck surgery on a kid lying on a pingpong table in a church.

Luckily, the plane was really loud.

We could just take off, and I could just die. But I’d watched this documentary, God Loves Uganda , about missionaries in Uganda passing really restrictive bills against gays.

Anyway, I learned my lesson.

From now on, when I meet someone on the plane, I will say, “I’m not a missionary.

Are you?”

What do you read when you want to laugh? [silence] Maybe you don’t read to laugh.

I like tragic books.

I just read Dopesick , the book about opioid addiction that got turned into a series with Michael Keaton.

As a person who was a drug addict, I was able to clean myself up, but only because my dealer left town.

This was in the early 1980s, but if she hadn’t left town?

If this happened 30 years later?

I was lucky. It’s not like I had willpower.

Quitting drinking [25 years ago] was different.

There was booze all around.

But I don’t think alcohol has a grip on you the way certain drugs do.

Your writing is pretty nonpartisan, but you’re a gay man married to another gay man in a state that hasn’t always looked kindly on that. Is Texas weird for you?

I find the Dallas audience very generous.

I’ve done shows in El Paso or Odessa, and people are like, “You’re not gonna go there!”

Like it would be dangerous for me.

The place I stayed in Odessa had a replica of the Ten Commandments in front of the hotel, but the biggest queen who ever lived was behind the front desk and a trans woman was at the hair salon/coffee place in the lobby, and everybody was perfectly lovely to those people. … On

paper, a place can look pretty bad, but when it comes to community, it’s much more tolerant.

I find that all over the United States.

I’ve found I just can’t trust anybody who doesn’t laugh.

I think a lot of people feel that way, but everyone’s so afraid.

Someone I know who works in theater was having a private conversation about his ex-girlfriend, and a stagehand complained the conversation made him uncomfortable.

He got written up for it.

It’s not like he was saying, “God, I really miss raping my ex-girlfriend.”

I wonder how we get out of this.

I think it starts by saying to people, “Shut up.”

When some person complains to the head of the theater, “I was made to feel uncomfortable, because that person was talking about his ex-girlfriend,” then you say,

“This is silly, and you need to shut up.”

But nobody wants to take the hit.

I will.

[nullifi-blr]

hi it’s me the portalgeist guy!

So, there are some things I can tell you. For one, the Prime Rifters will never show up in a capacity where they are acted by Bizly. When their cameo was first discussed, he had said he didn’t want to act as they in the show, since he didn’t want to betray who the characters were, or accidentally do something wrong to who they are. So sadly, no canon meeting with the Prime Rifters and Prime Defenders will ever happen.

Now, what I’m going yo tell you next is not anything canon. None of what I will tell you in this next paragraph is fully confirmed and corroborated by Bizly, but it’s how I’ve always imagined the PR and their new friends. But it can be some food to chew on! Anything that i put in bold is something officially told to me by Bizly, and can be taken as canon. But read on if that's something that interests you! It is kinda long, so apologies.

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2 OF JRWI'S PRIME DEFENDERS

The way I imagine it, Summer and PG (portalgeist) have been friends for a very long time. Portalgeist and Sleepyhead go to Centurion, so one can assume this is where they might have first met. Summer does know who the Prime Rifters are outside of their hero duties, and this allows for one of the quicker explanations. PG and Valence are roommates, so it’s only a matter of time before they meet. The way I see it, PG and Summer have been friends since before PG ever even came out as trans, and they’ve stuck together through the years.

How Summer found out about the Rifters being heroes was probably an accident. The Rifters actually met the first time as heroes, they didn’t know each other outside of that work. But as time went on, they got closer and got to know each other more. It’s why they still use hero names to refer to each other; old habits die hard. Maybe Portalgeist accidentally called Sleepy “Sleepyhead” in a regular conversation, and the two had to scramble to make something up. But Summer is smart, so she probably eventually put the pieces together.

During this time, the Rifters had been contracted by WATCH to look into the mysterious flesh that had been left at Dr. Lambert’s lab. In fact, with the Prime Defenders having gone awol at the time, the Rifters were their replacements. Without any information left by the previous team of heroes investigating this, they had to start from square one. Which is hard when ALL THE DOCUMENTS ARE SHREDDED, WILLIAM. But I digress. Summer has always been eager to help with hero business, so finding out her childhood best friend was an active superhero working for the Prime Force isn’t something small. Portalgeist was probably the one to convince the others to let Summer come on the mission. He blames himself a lot for what happened.

How exactly Doug falls into the picture hasn’t been talked about much between Riley, Ninny, and I. But eventually, the PR + Summer run into Inferno, doing something less than heroic. A battle ensues, with Doug being defeated in the end. They ask him what his aim is, and there isn't one. He wasn't even trying to win, just trying to get some sense kicked into him. He's hurt people, he's hurt a lot of people. He wants to be better, but is finding it hard to do so on his own. Sure, this could be a clever ploy to know who the PR really are, but it isn't. Doug genuinely wants to do good, and ends up helping the team investigate Dr. Amir.

Eventually, they find out the truth. Dr. Cyrus Amir has taken on the name Dr. Immortal, and aimed to keep himself alive forever with the usage of synthetic flesh. But to create and power this synthetic flesh, people's lives must be taken, ala vampire style. So, the Prime Rifters, Summer, and a newly reformed Doug set to action. Defeating waves of shambling creatures of flesh, they're finally able to subdue Dr. Immortal. But the doctor doesn't go down easy, and has a fail-safe in his lair. Parts of the hideout explode, causing parts of the building itself to cave in, nearly killing both Doug and Summer. Summer's fully unconscious, clearly on death's door. Doug's just barely hanging on, legs crushed under a massive metal beam. Perhaps as the first moment of heroism Doug truly enacts, he says to save Summer, and leave him.

So there stand the Prime Rifters. In a ruined and burning building, badly bruised and beaten, two friends who shouldn't have even gotten into their mess close to death, and a choice. Save Doug, and give him another chance at life to truly be the hero he deserves to be; or save Summer, the girl who was too ambitious for her own good, and almost died trying to be a hero. Can't really say the choice is simple, but eventually they use the last remaining remnants of Dr. Amir's immortal flesh to revitalize Summer. They are able to get Doug free from the beam, but it's clear he'll need a long time to recover.

In truth, Doug never fully does. He's paralyzed from the waist down, massive burn scars covering half of his body, and he's fully blind in one eye. But Summer is alive, still able to live a normal life... almost. See, Summer is able to use the powers of the synthetic flesh, and can bend her own body to her will. In a way, she became a super hero.

So, where are the Rifters now? Truth be told, I don’t know. Bizly canonized that my sweet baby boy Portalgeist can JUST OPEN GOD DAMN RIFTS NOW SO YEAH. THAT’S A THING. It’s a bit funny to me, cause I once said that it could potentially be possible for PG to open a portal to the spirit realm if he knew what he was looking for and how to reach it. So in my head, the PR are in the spirit world now, trying to follow up on some leads with the demons. They are active heroes now, they’ve most definitely seen these demons and are trying to learn as much as they can.

For Ninny, Riley, and I, we do consider Doug and Summer as Prime Rifters now. They've pulled them out of near-death, they deserve that title. Sleepyhead wanted to throw a party for Summer once she figured out her powers. Why, you may ask? Cause they all saw first-hand how traumatizing that experience was. Perhaps a little celebration wouldn't be so bad; just a little way to shift the focus of the experience.

Despite the fact that the Rifters did leave through a portal, they would return to New Haven as quickly as possible. Their main mission statement is to not leave New Haven without resident heroes; they refuse to do what the Prime Defenders did without notice.

I do wish that the PR could have been mentioned more, because I KNOW that their entire existence would confirm Will and Vyncent's views this season. The moment the PD went awol, a new team of heroes were put in place to replace them. As much as I, a fan of JRWI: PD, would love for my OC to be besties with the PD, logically they would hate each other. The Rifters are very pro-WATCH, understanding the good they do, and them not wanting to be heroes for the fame. The Defenders are pretty anti-WATCH, seeing that the heroes only seem to step in when necessary or when glorious enough.

This whole Dr. Immortal situation is made harder by the fact that William did not report any evidence or findings to any other heroes, and kept some evidence from the crime scene. And because PG is also an uber investigator, he would probably hate Will, cause he's a bit of a shit detective in that right. But the moment these two ghost boys get talking instead of arguing, they'd probably be good friends.

Also not to mention, Doug is the PR's bestie. Will and Vyncent did kinda torture him. There's gonna be some issues.

But I hope this big blurb of text is at least a little info on what the Prime Rifters did with Summer and Doug! I'm not sure if they'll be brought up again, so hopefully this can be some way to fill their little gap in history.

can’t stop won’t stop thinking about doug & summer & the prime rifters 

[thehmn]

A few months ago I had a conversation with a rather famous Norwegian comic artist who’s only partly out as queer at the moment so I’ll leave their name out, but we had an interesting conversation about the word queer and what it means to people who only have English as their second language.

To give some context, they are a non-binary person who is technically bisexual but think of themselves more as a lesbian because they were assigned female at birth and largely dress in feminine clothes and is only interested in having a relationship, sexual or romantic, with women but has the capacity to be attacked to men.

If people ask me what my gender/sexuality is I’ll just say cis straight female because I largely look and dress female and is only sexually attracted to men, but if you want the ridiculous detailed version it’s intersex, assigned female at birth but with no strong gender identity, biromantic demisexual, masculine attracted, and the fact that I’m intersex and therefor look, sound and act more masculine than most women does have an effect on the men I’ve had sex with because as one guy put it “I know it’s a weird thought but it kinda feel like…a quarter gay”. But nobody wants to listen to all that.

I have a close asexual friend who was assigned female at birth and goes by she/her but wants to look like a man so is now on testosterone and had a mastectomy and at this point look and sound so male people sometimes just refer to her as he/him without even asking because even though it’s still very obvious she was born female and dress in women’s clothes people just assume she’s trans. She doesn’t always correct them because it feels awkward but it has caused trouble because her old friends still call her she/her (we’ve all asked and told her to tell us if that changes) and if we call her that in front of people who call her he/him they can get angry with us because they assume we don’t respect her. But like she told me “I don’t know what to call myself because I want to be a woman who looks like a man”

None of us really feel we fit in an easily defined category, which makes queer such a wonderful word to us. While we are aware that it is sometimes used as a slur, we mostly know it from old British tv shows where it’s used to mean “odd” at worst. “Look at him eating only apples for breakfast. He’s quite the queer fellow”. It’s like the word gay to us. We know it has been used as a slur but that hasn’t made it a bad word to never be used, and honestly we don’t know what else to call ourselves.

We could take one thing about ourselves and focus on that like intersex, asexual and non-binary, but that would neglect all the other stuff and place us firmly in a box with expectations that doesn’t fit the rest.

So while we understand why “queer” is like nails on a chalkboard to some, to “odd” people like us queer feels just right and doesn’t have the same negative feelings associated with it that some English speakers might have.

[jacensolodjo]

The fact that the rabbis of old had terms outside of the halakhic binary and you still have people surprised at the fact that the Jewish faith is, in some cases, inherently accepting of trans people is amazing. They knew people are not binary.

“But Jacen what are these terms?”

Tumtum, androgynos, saris hammah, aylonit. 

Tumtum in general can be considered someone who is androgynous, same as, obviously the term ‘androgynos’. The former is separated by the fact that the definition is that the gender identity of the person is obscured from the viewer based on their clothing and it would not be considered proper to ask. 

Saris (hammah) may refer to someone with organs that don’t quite work (sterile) or have testicles that didn’t descend. So not quite a gender identity, but some halakhic rules rely on sexual organs. 

Aylonit could be considered a term for ‘intersex’ or someone with Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome.

Now a teshuvah is more for those of the Conservative/Hasidic Judaism movement(s) but is important for many reasons: 

There are a number of teshuvot on how transmen, exactly, can take part in circumcision (or even if he can or should), and what to do about transwomen and whether circumcision is required. There have also been decisions that top surgery or bottom surgery is permissive and doesn’t violate the prohibition of self-mutilation (חבורת בעצמו hovel b’atzmo) even if, outside of a religious opinion, it is considered cosmetic. More than that, it is considered a life-saving operation and thus perfectly embodies pikuach nefesh, (פקוח נפש), saving a life (or at least, bettering the quality of said life). This is also why it’s permissible to get hysterectomies and the like even if there is no extenuating medical need. 

The rulings on the halakhic law for circumcision for transmen, in case anyone is curious, is that the brit in fact refers exclusively to whether or not one has a penis regardless of their gender identity. HOWEVER: It has been ruled that if a transman desires, he can undergo a hatafat dam brit חטפת דאם ברית (HDB), or a ritual drop of blood drawn from the clitoris if he hasn’t had bottom surgery as it is the closest thing to a penis one has, especially when they are on testosterone. This is not very common nor is it required. It really depends on the man who has decided (likely with his rabbi) on this. If he has had said bottom surgery, generally he will be considered nolad mahul  נוֹלַד מָהוּל (born circumsized), and circumcision is not a possibility and instead HDB is considered.

But a transwoman who hasn’t had bottom surgery but who has been circumsized has nothing further to do except she may decide for an HDB as well, as again it is considered by some that the brit refers to a penis rather than strictly being male. 

In both cases of HDB or circumcision, the transwoman can decide to do it herself in private just as a cis man converting might when an adult.

Not every rabbi rules the same way and it has been made clear in a couple teshuvot (and you know just in general) that it should be discussed with your rabbi before considering circumcision and how it applies to you and that it really depends on the person, not the rabbi. As, again, halakhic law is rather binary even if it does have other terms it uses. But it isn’t rigid. There are rabbis trying to figure out how to do Life Events with trans and nb Jews. And it is always wrong to assume Judaism doesn’t adjust. It’s survived by adjusting. 

Otherwise, immersion in a mikveh for those converting to (Conservative/Hasidic) Judaism or other life events is the requirement for all gender identities. And the only issue that really comes up is the issue of modesty. While it might feel weird to talk about, it is absolutely important you decide which is best for you, whether you wish to do it in a group, in private, who you want to witness, etc., A transwoman undergoing immersion will, of course, have women overseeing her. Same with transmen having men overseeing them. It is not required to feel humiliated for any reason. The ritual is not based on that, it is based on purifying. You do not need humiliation to be purified. If a transman is still undergoing menstruation, it has been ruled that immersion after menstruating can apply but is not required, because again if it embarrasses or otherwise makes you uncomfortable you shouldn’t engage in it. 

None of that is to say mikveh doesn’t happen in Reform. In fact, it’s kinda becoming a little more common as Reform Jews decide what it means to them and their beliefs just as they have with keeping kosher, working on Shabbat, wearing kippah/tallit, etc.,. Full disclosure I’m Reform and accidentally inspired some folks to wear tallit again cause I found one I really liked lol I volunteer/work on shabbat and I’m shit at keeping kosher. 

In essence, ritual should make you feel closer to God, to your faith. It should not embarrass you or make you feel lesser. Ritual should be a comfort. Not something you dread. 

[templedragon]

Supergirl 6x18 Truth Or Consequences

Supergirl 6x18 Truth Or Consequences

The truth is, the queerbait and male domination continues. The consequence is, these showrunners and writers will be blacklisted in their future projects for the show and their behaviour online towards marginalised groups.

Lex, the cis white abled and now het (I'd previously assumed he was aroace as he showed no romantic or sexual feelings towards people) man gets his 31st century technology in nanobots, his romantic love declaration, the reciprocation of his feelings, his ability to predict everything the SuperFriends will do to have an advantage. This guy was murdered but sadly didn't stay dead in season 4. Instead, they have him kill a man of colour. Now, this man shouldn't have been introduced on the show at all in season 5 as the cast is already bloated and as such can't do justice to character development. His character could have been nice background but instead was violent towards his female boss, antagonistic to his female coworker as a guise, and replaced a transwoman as a journalist. That was last season. This season he's still a jerk to his boss and yet hasn't been fired, and for reasons we call male privilege has always been given instant access to secret places and relationships that Lena was denied for seasons. He gave lesbians proposal advice, gave a Pulitzer winning journalist work advice, gave a witch magic advice, and now is a baking baby sitter to a little girl. If he an Nia ever have a scene together it makes it more obvious that he stole her role. You know who he hasn't patronised with advice? J'onn or Brainy, the men. His journalistic integrty speech should have been Kara (or Nia as a backup) but they made her quit to suit him. Andrea has been reduced to being a bad boss to suit him. In killing him, it continues the show's harmful tradition of mistreating people of colour. He could have quit his job and opened a bakery in Britain. His death tarnished the happy moment of the bacherlorette party, so Andrea will feel guilty for using his name to publish Lex's journals, Kelly and Alex will feel guilty for having him babysit to have the party, Kara will feel guilty for having a night off, and Nia will feel guilty for not dreaming it coming. Again, the men in Brainy and J'onn won't feel guilty.

We still have the question of how Lena affords anything as she doesn't have a job and hasn't mentioned what part of the family estate she salvaged, and why her rich friends actually want to know her when she's not rich. We also have to factor in what's different about her Earth Prime friends compared to her Earth-38 ones as the latter were pretty sketchy. At the party, Lena has a longing look at the happy dancing couple which is immediately paralleled with Brainy believing he can't be with Nia as he has to travel to the future to heal the big brain. This... isn't how time travel works for me, as you go whenever and arrive when you need to, and the show has mistimed jumps before without ruining the space time continuum. This means there's only two happy couples will reach the finale - Nyxly and Lex, and Kelly and Alex. Brainy and Nia, who only had canon confirmation they had restarted their romance an episode or so ago, won't be together as trans rep. But while there are three canon romantic couples onscreen, the believed one of M'gann and J'onn doing long distance, makes it more apparent that Kara is single, and so is Lena. Kara is keen to follow Lena to the dance floor with the hip sway, and everyone is paired up with their coded or canon partners.

Nyxly is getting all the development as she's passing the totems and the SuperFriends are just stealing them from her. No idea what happened to the order of activation, or if one person has to activate them to have the all stone control or if it can be agreed upon as a group akin to the paragons in COIE. We've learned so much about a villain and she gets a canon het romance while overcoming her trust issues. Speeding up the process involves time travel, which begs the quesion as to why season 3 had a guy playing two women when he knew what would happen. Nia actually uses her dream powers successfully. As much as I hate the idea of Brainy going to the future right now, he has had the development of enjoying feelings rather than fearing them. Good for him. Meanwhile, J'onn is not getting stepdad of the year award as he doesn't reassure Kara that her concerns over Esme's powers are valid. Kara's lived the experience of fearing her powers will harm people unchecked, but Alex tells her she doesn't want unsolicited parenting advice. It makes it sound that Alex would rather Esme harm people than have stabilisers. I still don't know how Alex's brain functions as she's got three sets of memories regarding 'raising' Kara - Earth 38, Earth Prime, and the fake J'onn ones. Still, Alex relates to Kara about being able to fully express herself, as an openly queer women. Kara affirms that Alex should live fully, but Alex doesn't reciprocate the sentiment, as Kara has more secrets than her hero identity. Kelly is in mom mode too but her parenting skills aren't being questioned.

In giving so much weight to the reporter and Lex, the stuff that matters is lost. It's highly likely the two hour finale will have women talking about men, with a lesbian wedding as the setting rather than an emotional b plot to Kara's culmination of six years. I couldn't tell you what Kara's arc was this season. 1 was properly becoming Supergirl. 2 was half assed about being a reporter. 3 was even less screen time about her Kara Zor-El heritage. 4 was last minute alien prejudice and popcorn journalistic awards. 5 was framed around her dynamic with Lena. 6... could have been about her Phantom Zone trauma but only had one episode about it. As mentioned before, the totem journey of 6b belongs to Nyxly.

The show has set itself up as another Clexa nexus. The industry will listen to how representation of marginalised groups is done healthily. It needs reminding the protagonist has the A plot, as a show called Supergirl is about an individual (compared to Legends of Tomorrow which is an ensemble). Commentary on real life issues and inclusion of marginalised groups are done because it's the right thing to do, and not to get praise for it being tokenised. Queerbaiting is unacceptable, to the extent that even if showrunners say it will never be canon then the diaglogue and framing cannot parallel romantic couples. None of this paralleling to keep the viewership of desperate queer people, and the real life hate crimes it causes because it's not canon.

[edwardelricsrightarm]

Riza Hawkeye as a child/young teen but she's just this Annie Oakley ass prodigal sharp shooter little shit who cuts her hair off with kitchen scissors and runs absolutely buckwild in the woods on her father's estate terrorizing small animals (humanely hunting I'm just being dramatic)

Roy boy is just this awkward nerdy little cornball who wants to get along, but they also kinda have that dynamic from the Swan Princess when Derek and Odette were kids ya feel me? Just watch the childhood montage from that movie you'll understand- ☠️

They have like nothing in common at the time (so they assume) and yet they end up thick as thieves cause Riza hasn't had many friends that she can see outside of her education and had an extremely isolated upbringing, so this goofy sweet baby faced dork just got her like that, even if he sometimes drives her nuts a little bit.

Riza would get upset fairly often bc her neglected social and emotional upbringing would get to her (bc realistically,,,,we know that was the case), and Roy got extremely good at knowing when she's upset and would often be the one to listen to her air her thoughts out (callback to the phone call scene after her encounter with pride, this lends background to how he knows her so well and reads her stress levels like a book even over the phone)

Mundane headcanons:

Roy would transmute little clay/dirt doves and targets for Riza bc he was worried about her shooting glass bottles and other assorted not necessarily safe objects.

Roy is trans, I can't untrans him that's just who he is to me. Riza is a self declared tomboy who I hc as nonbinary/demigirl. They're also bi4bi it's canon Arakawa told me.

Riza didn't really know good birthdays, and when Roy realized this it broke his heart bc Chris always tried to remember stuff like that for him and she's not even his own biological mother. So, he made an annual routine of gifting her something (often transmuted and unique).

Riza loved being out in nature back then and knew the wooded areas around the estate like the back of her own hand, when she and Roy had warmed up more to one another she made a routine of showing him all the neat little spots she'd found in the area for one reason or another, just for the sake of sharing that with someone. These remain some of their fondest memories.

Riza would be more likely to go out to shoot targets when she was angry or upset, if she was having a good day and had the time she would be more likely to go hunting because she enjoyed the hiking and tracking but couldn't focus on it when internally upset. Roy eventually figured this out as well.

Riza climbed so many trees, rocks, outcroppings, etc- and was always scraped up from something she probably shouldn't have climbed getting the better of her.

Riza used to have a nanny birddog named Otto, but he passed away before Roy came around, so making a new friend in him after that loss was a big comfort to her. She was hesitant to have other dogs until Hayate.

They're both autistic.

Relatedly, Riza would go nonverbal and lock herself in her room sometimes. Roy, concerned, would approach this by slipping little notes under the door offering company if needed, while not pushing her to talk.

Riza would sing/hum while doing chores or out and about exploring and on every occasion Roy overheard this he'd turn red from ear to ear- if she caught it and realized he'd heard she'd be twice as embarrassed.

Riza would take Roy foraging and showed him some useful/edible plants, and safe berries and mushrooms that she knew in the region. He was honestly always pretty impressed, especially considering some mushrooms that are safe have toxic siblings that look identical.

Both of them are varying levels of nerd. Riza is the type who's full of trivia, especially weird facts about her special interests (animal behavior, guns, bushcraft, navigation and tracking stuff, etc), Roy started out neutral to this but over time infosharing kinda became their love language, and he'd start to infodump right back. They'd spend hours like that some days.

Riza knows constellations really well for navigational reasons, and there were times that she showed Roy a way to get onto the roof from the attic and they'd stargaze. She would teach folk names of constellations, regional lore behind them, navigational uses for them etc; Roy would tell her basic facts about space and astronomy that come with understanding of alchemy.

Riza typically stuck to small prey (rabbits, fowl, easy to retrieve misc.), but Roy had an awakening when Riza first killed a whole ass deer (albeit a young one) and came back with it thrown over both shoulders with the determined energy of a small lionness.

Riza is REALLY good at cooking and baking because she had a bit too much free time to fuck around in the kitchen. She also learned how to cure and smoke meats bc of her hunting. It certainly helped them stay well fed.

Roy developed a habit of cooking for the household pretty regularly in a swapped routine with Riza after only a while of being around because he saw how much she had to be self sufficient in almost every way and honestly just wanted to relieve her of the constant responsibility and self parentification. He'd also help with chores constantly.

Roy had major internal conflict even early on because he respected his teacher greatly for his intelligence and brilliance, but also kned that Riza wasn't being raised well, and that no matter what he does, Berthold can only decline mentally. This is the root of his protective and caretaking behavior with her, ultimately.

Roy doodled and sketched a lot back in the day and had a little booklet that he guarded with his life bc it started out random assorted things, but eventually devolved into a book full of cute little doodles of mostly Riza jammed into the last half of the book (She can never know-). He still has it stored away.

Riza could easily pick him up even then, this never changed. She got to show this once when he sprained his ankle on a hike with her and she held half his weight as a crutch with no strain to herself. He never quite recovered from that (but boy did it make his crush worse).

Roy would notice rarely he'd have a shirt go missing and never could figure out why til he'd find Riza wearing an identical shirt. (She told herself it's just cause they're cozy of course- she just likes boys clothes too! They look nice under overalls and are comfortable to sleep in! nothing more /s) They never said a word about it even though it was right in front of them, they couldn't dare.

Roy had a bike, and she'd ride behind him down some of the rural roads and paths that could support it for fun sometimes.

During winter the home would get pretty chilly because of its size and not enough stoves/fireplaces to fully warm the declining estate, so when snowed in on miserably cold winter days they'd usually end up reclined in the study by the space heater or in the loungeroom by the fireplace reading separately, but still occasionally talking back and forth.

Riza stopped hunting post-Ishval. She couldn't bring herself to derive that same innocent pride and appreciation for the circle of life she once had, and felt she no longer deserved to have that respectful exchange with the cycle of life and death after what her skills had been used for. She never stops going to shooting ranges, but it's either for standard upkeep of practice or to vent.

[endobiologist]

Trans Guy Tips #3; Testosterone HRT, How to Inject, & Its Effects On Body & Mind, Pt. 1

Note: I will likely add more sections to this at a later time, as I learn more about taking testosterone and its effects. Be sure to check back!

1. First, and this can change depending on your body type and what your own endocrinologist recommends for you,

but personally for me and for a lot of transgender men, Testosterone Cypionate, usually 200mg each dose, is the best choice, and so is taking the injection form, doing that intramuscularly, and taking them bi-weekly, meaning every other week on the exact amount of time from the time you took your last dose.

My endocrinologist explained to me that this is due to if you overload your body with testosterone constantly, or if you overdose it in an attempt to get more effects, you will instead have the opposite effect where you will instead gain estrogen, and more of it, because testosterone converts to estrogen when there's an excess of it and the body senses it as something wrong!!

So please please never take more than you are supposed to take, prescribed officially by your doctor.

They usually recommend bi-weekly for most if choosing injections, because it makes it so the testosterone spreads evenly throughout your system the entire time, and just has a very even perfect use that makes the effect stronger and it makes your body get used to it quicker, which speeds up the effects significantly, and tends to be the healthiest option.

2. Also in terms of safety, never ever get testosterone from a non-official source like the black market, online, or from a friend. You cannot trust this, as it has not been evaluated medically whatsoever.

Also, most importantly, you don't have a medical professional there to see if your hormones and all your health is correct and good to start or continue, or what dose to take, or which kind works best for your body, as well as not having any checkups, which is also vital when you take a new hormone in your body to make sure everything is balancing right!!!

So it is very dangerous, you could accidentally overdose, or your body could malfunction somehow, or you could just be injecting yourself with stuff that doesn't work ever!!

There are many things that could go wrong, so PLEASE never ever EVER do this.

Get a trans-familiar endocrinologist.

3. Now mind you, there are other options for taking T if you just cannot handle injections whatsoever.

Option one are tablets called subdermal capsules that they implant under your skin, usually under your arm or shoulder skin as it seems to spread the best that way. They will slowly leak testosterone until they replenish themselves and you have to get them replaced.

Some people praise these as they are pretty even in effects, and they make it so you have a steady supply pretty well, and also you don't have to think about it very often as the tablets last quite a while.

The downside is, that despite its evenness quality, it doesn't actually have very strong effects.

It will still give you effects for sure, but it will take a lot longer, possibly multiple years, to see the full effects of it.

There are also things known as topical testosterone, where you can put a gel or cream on yourself and it will dose you with the amount it has in it.

This is the least invasive option, however it's one with a very small amount of testosterone, so it will take some of the longest to feel, or see, effects.

Also, I have heard from some people that if you are having someone else put the gel on you, if they accidentally get it on their skin, it will literally dose them with testosterone, which is not okay if you have someone who is not trans and does not want it doing it.

So if you choose this route, please do it yourself so you're not dosing any more on to other people, and instead just on to yourself.

It also doesn't waste the dose on others that way, and you get the full effects instead.

There is also things known as oral testosterone, taken through pill form. But I have heard some bad things about these, and I have heard recommendations not to use them due to there being a lot of downsides, as it doesn't absorb into your body nearly as well as any of the other options, even the slower ones.

But really what matters is what you need, and what your body needs, so even though injections provide the most amount and the most even supply when you use them, especially bi-weekly as well, it might be different for you as every single trans guy/transmasculine person is different, physically & mentally!

And some things work better for others, so consult with your doctor, and let them know the effects and the timing you want, and they will suggest options for you if you are not able to choose yourself without assistance due to lack of knowledge etc.

I would however recommend deeply researching every section of testosterone as I did, before going to an endocrinologist, so you are very prepared and know which kind you want already which will make the appointment take less time as well.

Also you never want to rely on the information of just one person, so always research.

Don't just trust my guide immediately or anyone's guide if it's just one you read, instead do your own research on many sites & forums, and find what works for you, as I can only say what works/worked for me.

4. And when it actually comes to the fun part, the injections,

I will give you a step-by-step guide on mostly how to have someone else inject you, but you can also take my advice for injecting yourself, however I have no advice for specifics of that, such as ways to calm yourself down from queasiness when doing it yourself, since I have never injected myself due to me honestly being just a little squeamish about doing it myself.

But I've always had my mother do it, and I have watched occasionally to see how best to do it, and have experienced it quite a few times now, so I know which way is the least painful as well.

If I were ever forced to do it myself, that way I would be able to because I know how to beforehand.

Now what you do is when you pick up your prescription of Testosterone, this is assuming if you take it bi-weekly and an injection form, you get two 1 ml bottles (A month's supply) and you have to unfortunately ask for & buy the syringe that comes preloaded with the needles.

Also make sure never to ask for just a needle, cuz they will literally give you just a needle, and no syringe.

It's happened to me before, LOL.

They usually have the syringes & needles in stock almost always, but there are a few occasions where they didn't have the needles.

But it is honestly annoying having to pay for something extra when the testosterone itself doesn't cost anything, yet the injection needles you need to use it do??? Lmao.

However it's not that annoying, because they're actually relatively cheap!

Here in Nevada, with no discounts used, they usually only cost you about like $3 usually, $4 at most, so it's pretty price effective.

5. I strongly recommend this, it was my mom's edition to this by the way, she strongly recommends as well,

that you should wait at least a month before taking your first dose of T.

Even when you just received it!

The reason for this is because sometimes they will be out of testosterone or out of needles, or you won't be able to afford it for whatever reason, you never know and it's so much better to have at least 1 if not 2 backup doses and syringes + needles on hand so you never have to worry about that.

I was impatient and injected the day I got it, and so though I haven't run into a problem yet, it is stressful knowing that if a mistake happens with the injection and the fluid leaks out too much, or something happens, whatever it is, that I won't have a backup dose.

So, I would highly recommend waiting a month or even two before injecting, so you have two doses and you pick it up way before you run out every time.

That's way more efficient.

6. Now although this comes from the point of view of someone who hasn't injected themselves, and only has been injected, I pretty much know how it works so I could if I had to, I would just be squeamish.

And for a lot of people they feel the same, so it's easier to get a family member or a close friend to do it for you, as long as they're always around when you need to take your dose.

Personally I have my mom do it because she's talented at injections due to having reptiles that needed some done the same way.

So, basically, you take everything out of its containers, and make sure not to touch the needle itself ever.

Once everything's out of its containers, then make sure to test if the needle is totally closed onto the syringe.

If it is, it's good to go.

Checking the tightness of the needle is very important because if you don't, you can end up having the needle pop off inside you, and release none of the testosterone actually inside of you, wasting a dose completely & it just hurts like a SOB.

Now, take the cap off the needle.

I would recommend always sanitizing the needle, the syringe, and also having a little gauze pad or paper towel piece, all soaked with rubbing alcohol to sterilize the area you will be injecting, so there is no risk of infection at all.

Although not extremely important, I'd recommend you'd also want to bring a tiny Band-Aid.

It will be a very very tiny wound, more like a dot, but it actually bleeds quite a bit after, due to it going deep in, so it's helpful to put a Band-Aid on just for the first hour or so, then take it off and let it breathe, and it heals super quick. It'll be gone before, or by the next day, usually.

Please remember not to touch the needle ever as it'd ruin its sterilization. They're usually sterilized, but it might be a good idea to sterilize them again just in case, to basically make sure there is no risk of infection whatsoever.

Also this is just a common sense cleanliness rule,

but I still want to state it to make sure people know;

Always throw away every single needle and syringe you use, as soon as you are done using it.

Do not keep it or EVER re-inject with the same needle.

And also be sure to throw away any testosterone you have left that is excess from your dose.

You do not need that, as it goes bad and won't work after being exposed to air, so it's impossible to save and use later, unfortunately.

Now, you will be injecting intramuscularly in the leg, either leg will do, hell you can switch them up each time if you'd like. It doesn't matter much.

This means you will be injecting on the area of your thigh that is a little high up, and towards the top, but a little to the outer side.

This means the testosterone is injected straight between the muscles, and goes to the bloodstream quickly also, when you inject.

Now you want to remove the lid from the Testosterone Cypionate bottle, and shake It up very very good, so that there are no bubbles, no particles visible in the Testosterone, and no oil separation either.

If it looks completely clear, or is a slight yellowish colour but mixed together well, then you're good to go.

The possible slight yellowish color comes from the cottonseed oil that they use to store the testosterone correctly in.

It makes it to where you have to use a little bit of a bigger needle to inject yourself with, but it's actually a very very small needle and it's not painful very much at all.

A lot of myths I read about testosterone before I received it said the needles were huge and scary and painful, but the truth is they're not at all, even to me who's slightly scared of needles and has low ability to tolerate pain.

Literally, popping a zit hurts worse than the injections.

The pain is something like a very tiny ant bite, or a slight pinch on your skin, it doesn't really hurt very much at all.

In fact, whenever I take mine, even the very first time I did, I didn't even make a sound! And it's over very quickly, as well.

I would recommend for the easiest time however, for a little higher price, getting a 21 gauge syringe needle, and also an 18 gauge syringe needle for each dose you take.

The 21 gauge is larger for drawing up the testosterone from the vial easier than the 18 gauge would.

Then you remove that 21g needle from that syringe, and instead put on the 18 gauge for the actual injecting.

If you want a cheaper price tag, and/or you're just lazy like me, you can get away with using just an 18 gauge needled syringe, however it makes it much significantly harder to draw up out of the vial.

It is still quite possible, but is for sure challenging, mistakes can occur so be very careful if you choose this route.

Now when you're trying to draw up the Testosterone Cypionate out of the bottle, you want to hold it upside down, or downward at an angle kind of diagonal, and you want to make sure the needle is visibly in the liquid.

Then, you draw back slowly, but try and fill it as much as you can. You can always dispose of extra that you don't need.

If using only the 18 gauge like said earlier, which is what I personally do, it is very hard to draw up out of the bottle, so be very careful, and try to figure out the trick to it, is all I can say.

Everyone has a different trick for it.

Don't use all the testosterone in the bottle however for your actual being-injected-dose.

You need to usually use only 75 mL of the 1 ml bottle each dose.

Also before you ever inject, but after you fill the syringe, make sure to aspirate the needle, which means to act like you're injecting it, in the air pointing up, needle upwards, and you very slowly push down, which expels a little bit of the testosterone, but you also expel any air particles or bubbles that are trapped inside.

This is why you want to put a little more in the syringe than you actually will inject, because when you aspirate the needle some will leak out and make it the perfect amount to inject, rather than losing it an amount of it that you need.

If there is even a single bubble inside the syringe, that can cause a heart attack, and many other deadly problems!!!

So do not ever inject, if there is a bubble in your syringe.

If there is, best case scenario is you try to aspirate it heavily, even if you need to then refill it somewhat afterwards, the most important part is making sure no air bubbles are in it.

If there is no way to get the bubble out, you'd need to buy a new syringe, as it most likely has a deformation of some kind.

But that's the worst case scenario, and personally I haven't experienced that yet.

That, however, is why it is so important to aspirate, to make sure there's no air left in the syringe before you inject.

Now you want to make sure to get exactly .75 ml, that you put it up to the line right before 1 ml and that's about the amount you need.

And remember; never take more than prescribed, it will have the opposite affects you want.

Now that you know all the details, here is how to perform injecting the actual testosterone.

You take the needle to the sterilized area of thigh that you cleaned with the rubbing alcohol.

And you can either use a kind of sideways diagonal position to go in, or you can use straight on.

I find straight on makes it much less painful for me, so I usually go with that, but either way works, and whatever is most comfortable for you is what you should use.

Now you just go in kind of slowly, and try not to move the needle around too much, just push slowly all the way in 'till the needle is completely in the leg.

Then dispense slowly the testosterone to the intramuscular area, and once all the testosterone is out of the syringe and inside your bloodstream, pull it out very slowly, all the while holding the skin around it firmly, so that it doesn't hurt as much pulling it out. If you pull it out fast it fuckin' hurts.

You can also sterilize the area of injection again, if you want, but it's not really necessary.

Then, you just put that Band-Aid previously mentioned on, for like an hour, and you're good!

7. Now for the effects of testosterone, though I don't have a perfect timeline. But around one DAY in, I noticed for some reason my clitoral growth where your clitoris pretty much changes into a tiny penis except the urethra doesn't move unfortunately without surgery.

It can grow one to two inches at max, although I have not experienced that much yet.

However for some reason I had definitely experienced minor clitoral growth pretty much as soon as I took my first shot of testosterone, which is incredibly rare, as it's supposed to happen six months to a year in and be one of the later effects!! But for some reason, it was the first effect I got, so that really goes to show that everyone is built quite different, so some things in this guide might not be totally accurate for everyone.

1 week in, I started experiencing a very hoarse voice, not a sore throat or anything, but just where your voice sounds like you're sick or you're losing your voice, for some reason.

This is the first step in your voice changing to a deeper baritone.

It's usually not painful whatsoever, but I have heard from some people that it can irritate their throat occasionally due to the foreign feeling of it, this stage doesn't last very long though.

Then, about 1 month in, I started noticing extensive hair growth. Also I seem to have got way darker hair than any of my family members ever had, and way more hair than they ever had, so you can't totally rely on the predictions of what your family looks like to see how you're going to change.

You kind of have to be ready for anything to happen, but usually the hair growth and the masculinity of your family will almost always pass on to you when you transition physically.

This can even include male pattern baldness eventually.

Sometimes it happens to trans men immediately after taking it, other times it will take years and other times it will be when they're elderly like cis men have.

Personally, I have not seen any male pattern baldness yet, however my front l of my hair slightly receded back and in the shape of male members of my dad's side of my family, but nothing like a total receding hairline.

It still looks like a full head of hair!

Usually you can tell what type of hair you get by looking at your family members closely.

If your family includes a lot of thick hairy people naturally, then you are going to usually get very large amounts of hair.

If you have a family with barely any hair, or very light coloured hair, you'll usually get a small amount of hair or a large amount of hair but with light colour. Personally, I got real lucky so it's clear that there are exceptions, but that's usually how it goes is that you can look to your family members as to how you're going to look and sound like.

About 3 months in, my voice started really deepening and I mean really deep. But the funny thing about it is that sometimes it will switch from being really low and masculine and amazing, to being kind of regular like before, to a little low but not super low, and even to what I call the "permanent helium" which makes you literally sound like you inhaled helium but it's literally just your vocal cords cracking that bad from growing to a male length.

Sometimes it will crack in a way where you can't stop talking in that high pitch, and it's really awkward, but it is also really funny if you learn to laugh at yourself, and always remind yourself that this is the process of gaining a deeper voice.

I have heard that vocal training to make your voice deeper also helps exponentially for more effects if you want a super deep voice.

About 4 to 5 months in, which is where I'm currently at, I've experienced way more hair growth!

Even more so than the start of it.

My head hair seems to be thicker and healthier for some reason, I'm not sure why because I have never heard of that affecting your head hair, its texture, or its thickness like that?

But it seems to have happened, so I guess it's possible?

I'm gaining a moustache and a few beard hairs, but mainly my moustache is super dark and already very visible.

Also due to my moustache and my deep voice alone, now I can already pass pretty much 100% of the time if maybe 99%, and I'm a very naturally baby-faced person too, so that's impressive!

My voice is mainly settled into a pretty deep baritone.

It still has a little bit of a high pitch sometimes, but barely.

I can tell there's a little more progress needed, but not much.

I don't do the helium thing as much as I used to, but it does still occasionally occur as lengthening your vocal cords, which is what occurs when you take testosterone, can be a lengthy and frustrating process at times.

I have also specifically seen lots of body hair at this time, way more than the sparse amount at first, including even a happy trail and a little bit of chest hair although it's not noticeable yet unless you squint, but it still has way more than I used to!

Also my hair on my arms, and especially on my legs, is thick, dark and everywhere.

I've also noticed my fat is starting tk begin redistributing a little bit.

It's not totally doing it yet, but it's getting close, as my thighs, hips, and behind area lost a bunch of weight, while my stomach gained a little bit of weight and so did my arms.

I also gained a fair bit of muscle as not only can I see it when I flex, but also I can lift things a little easier than I used to, and muscle seems to develop easier for me, even when I work out barely.

I've never been a very physical person, so it's still hard, but it's way easier now that I take testosterone.

Those are all the effects I have to record right now, as I'm only 4-5 months in, but I will update this with new parts as I experience more and more.

Also, please take all effects and timelines with a grain of salt, because everybody works differently.

Also I specifically was mentioning Testosterone Cypionate, bi-weekly injection form, so if you take testosterone in a different way, some of this might be different, irrelevant or even completely useless to you, but I am only able to provide information on these forms as they're the only form I've taken of it myself.

Now, to quickly dispel a few stupid myths that circulate around taking testosterone, to ease your worries.

Myth #1. "Testosterone makes you aggressive, violent, and a bad person!"

The truth is that testosterone does not change who you are, whatsoever.

It can however change certain little preferences like for example what flavor food you like will sometimes change, but usually not all foods, just a couple, or sometimes even just one.

It can change little tiny details, like maybe your favorite colour may change, and it definitely does have its emotional effects for sure, but it does not make anyone aggressive or violent automatically.

Testosterone is not an angry hormone, and estrogen is not a peaceful hormone, despite what most people stereotype them as being, so just blanketing everyone under the term of "aggressive" because they have testosterone in them is straight-up incorrect at best, and also sexist at worst.

Estrogen is not better than testosterone. Testosterone is not better than estrogen. It just matters what you want in your body.

What it may actually do is sometimes, people will experience a wide variety of emotions, including extreme euphoria and confidence (that's the effect I seem to have had, thankfully!)

Other people however will get very emotional and sad and will cry over things easier, and no, that's not an estrogen trait, testosterone can do that too.

And sometimes, on a rare occasion, people can get more irritable or cranky. But they're never violent.

They just get a little grumpier than usual.

However, all these emotional effects eventually do phase out and stabilize, and you'll be back to all your regular moods.

You never truly change who you are as an individual, and your beliefs and morals will stay the same.

It's not like you will completely change into a different person, you will never have to fear that, nor should any of your family and friends.

Myth #2. "Testosterone is steroids, right? So doesn't that mean that you're stronger than everyone else?"

This is a ridiculous notion, and I'm not even sure how it got spread im the first place, but I've heard it firsthand, and it's really as stupid as it sounds.

Testosterone is not steroids, they may have some similar properties due to chemical makeup, but they are not in any way steroids.

Steroids are an addictive & potentially harmful drug. Testosterone is a naturally occuring hormone that we all have some of.

For instance, testosterone also does not make you any more muscular just automatically.

It can make you a little more muscled subtly due to the muscle structure changing to that of a cis man's, but it can't straight up make you jacked, that's just not possible.

Also it does not make you any stronger than anyone else.

It might make you a little stronger than a cis female, but you are not stronger than a cis man, in fact you're weaker, due to starting out assigned female at birth.

I'm not sure why people assume that if you take testosterone, that means you're strong??

Because you're taking testosterone because you don't have any so clearly you don't have very much.

I'm not totally sure where this silly notion got spread, possibly as a way to make trans people feel guilty for taking T, by making them think it's a drug, and it's just not when you look at the facts.

It's good to dissuade folks who think this way, from this notion, as it can also make us look like drug addicts or on steroid pills, which both are just completely false.

Testosterone is not even addictive.

It's a natural hormone inside your body.

Myth #3. "Testosterone will give you all forms of cancer, and strokes and heart attacks, almost certainly!"

I'm not sure where or how this got spread either, it is true that it is possible, they said, in a scientific study, that they can't confirm completely that it could theoretically make your chances of stroke and heart attack a little higher due to your system basically changing to that of a cis man's, and going through a cis man's puberty.

But honestly, you have less risk of strokes and heart attacks than even cis men do, and you don't have a prostate which is a common location for men to get cancer, so you actually have an advantage over most!

It's very rare that you would ever come into contact with one of these things happening, pretty much as rare if a little less as it would be if you didn't take T at all.

There is also no evidence whatsoever that testosterone causes cancer, of any kind, let alone all of them.

A lot of people have tried to spread this rumour, to stop people from getting HRT treatment, which is really cruel and fucked up, and a lot of parents will use the "cancer" excuse as a way to not give their child HRT.

The truth is that it does not cause cancer, and that is a complete myth.

There's actually some evidence that being on T might improve your chances of fighting cancer, and having a stronger immune system for it as well.

Myth #4. This kind of goes along with the other one, but some people believe that "If you take testosterone, you could be shortening your lifespan by many years!!"

This is complete speculation, nothing has been confirmed.

It's possible, perhaps, that it could shorten your lifespan by a couple years, but not many.

You still would have an advantage over cis men again.

But it's never been truly proved that your lifespan gets shorter from T, so there is no reason to fear less of your life occuring just because you're trying to make yourself happier.

All right, I think that's all the rumours I can set straight, and all the info & advice about injections and medicine and general information about testosterone that I can give you at the moment.

I will update this post later, so please check back again in maybe a few month's time from now, as then I will have more effects to discuss.

But if I want to leave you with anything to think about,

remember that testosterone is a completely safe and natural chemical hormone that produces itself in your body already.

You just don't have enough of it to look the masculine way you want to.

It is not dangerous, it won't hurt you and if you really want it, go after it!!

But I would also very much advise you to be sure you want to go ahead with it, and that you are okay with all effects happening.

Because if you aren't, if you are even the least bit hesitant, not only will the doctor not allow you to proceed because you are not mentally fit to yet,

but also if you did end up taking testosterone then you could end up getting effects that you don't want, and having them be permanent, and causing you dysphoria for the rest of your life.

So please, make sure to know yourself well, and know your wants and needs clearly.

I also highly recommend having a psychiatrist or a mental health therapist for quite a while before going into testosterone therapy.

Not only does it make you more qualified to acquire testosterone because it shows you actually thought it through, but also it is exceedingly helpful for the mental and physical changes you will be proceeding with over these next years.

The last thing I want to say, my closing note, is congratulations on your testosterone, if you received it!

And I hope my guide helped in any way, and apologies if it ended up really long this time, there's a lot of things you need to know about T.

Thank you for reading, and I hope this humble trans guy's journal entries help you at all.

- Atom T. L. Yorke