#then hopefully ill start studying for my NEXT exams

[verystressedcollegestudent]

going to walmart today to get a new umbrella (again bc apparently the $6 one was super shitty quality) and to ✨treat myself✨ after a week of spending monday to thursday studying for/taking exams and thursday afternoon to friday wallowing in self pity after getting a d+ after hours of practice and going to multiple tutoring sessions and overall fucking up my sleep schedule with all nighters to the point where i slept through half of a lecture at fucking noon

[thecynthh]

smart ass - M.S

synopsis - matt’s not doing to well with his schooling but is determined to get his degree and pass his classes. one essay which is a huge part of their grade haunts him with a bad mark, luckily y/n is willing to him him

notes - college setting, no smut yet, more of matt in the next part, hopefully a long series !

author notes - heyyyyy so this is my first series i guess, i hope you guys like this and i promise not to take too long with the next part. love all u babes and j hope u have a nice new years if you celebrate it!

——————————————————————————

——————————————————————————

a notification appears on my laptop, new grade from Ms.Garcia. shrugs and groans rung throughout the lecture hall, clicking on the notification a website pops up onto my desktop.

*97%,A+ good job y/n keep up the good work*

what were people so upset about, i thought to myself. my shoulder gets tapped by the person beside me.

“oh my god this old woman just hates me,” madi cries from beside me. i peak over at madi’s screen seeing a whopping 54%. i dont understand how that happens to a girl like madi, she was so smart and didn’t deserve that grade. i knew she didnt deserve that, i read her essay myself !

my hand lands on hers, “ okay that’s actually insane for you to be getting a 54, your essay was so good?!?”

everyone's head shoots up to the women below the many rows of seats, “so as you see at your grades only ms y/n got a good grade. i'm willing to let everyone else rewrite their exam and hand it in by next week if you do not like your grade.” the decrepit woman just packs her bag after saying that and begins to leave the room. everyone replicated her and began to pack up their belongings, including me.

madi and i leave the large space and stand in the hall just outside. “oh fuck, i promised nick id meet him after our class, ill see you later babes.” she ghosts a kiss on my cheek as i do the same to her greeting her goodbye. i grab my phone to check the time but to mostly look busy before i head somewhere else.

large footsteps creep up behind me and i hear my name being called. “y/n? thats your name right?” a man around 5’8 is standing in front of me. a little startled i take a second to reply.

“uhm yes that's me” i say replying to him. i notice his outfit, simple black cargos with a baggy sweater over it saying RANSOM with angel wings projecting off of the word.

“s-so i was wondering if you were willing to help me with the essay, you know, maybe study the material more?” he says while slightly looking down and looking very nervous.

“oh yea! of course i’ll bring over my notes and materials that i got from Ms.Garcia. does friday work for you? i have work tomorrow so i’ll be busy after class…” i cringe at my own sentence.

i knew who matt was, he was quite the popular guy and a social media influencer who made a lot of money. he didn’t have to exactly work a normal job like i did. although i don’t blame him, i’ve watched some of their videos and if i’m being honest they are pretty funny. i’ve slowly started to keep up with them ever since i was introduced to them by madi at an influencer party where she and the triplets got invited.

“mhm friday works, you can swing by my house, my brothers won’t be home that night. thanks for this by the way.” he says with his face softening, he definitely seemed more relaxed after i said yes.

“okay then! it’s a date- oh well not really a date, but i mean date as in like… oh you get it.” i trip over my words and finally take in his features. he has a beautiful jawline and scruffy that would feel so good on my-

he chuckles at my mishap “yeah it’s a date just lemme give you my number i’ll text you the address soon.” i present my phone to him as he begins to type out his phone number into his phone, naming his self matt s with a panda emoji next to it.

he’s still typing a little after he names himself, thinking nothing of it i just let him place my phone back into my hand at him as i wave to him bidding him goodbye.

i let my shoulders relax after i see him turn a corner and is out of my line of sight. god why am i so bad at talking to guys, that was straight embarrassing, i thought to myself.

——————

thursday afternoon

madi and i met for coffee after our classes were finished, we caught up ate some small pastries and drank coffee, the usual. but once i told her about what happened yesterday….

“YOU WHAT??” madi says, nearly snorting out her coffee from her nose.

“i agreed to help tutor matt so he can pass this class” i repeat to her seeing zero problem with this.

“so you wanna tutor him, at his house, without his brothers home, at night.” madi tells me in a “matter of fact” tone

“well if you say it like that it sounds like i’m dancing with the devil over here.” i say sarcastically still not seeing the problem.

“you. matt. alone. even after what happened at the party?” madi retorts bringing up the party again.

“okay i still have no fucking clue what you mean by matt was eyefucking me at that party, i was enjoying myself and he was more or less just observing everyone at the party.” god just hearing myself make me realize what is happening.

“you know, just good luck and please don’t be so naive, i don’t want you to get hurt.” madi says in such a sincere tone.

“i’m glad you are at least okay with the whole idea of it, but i gotta go, i have a shift in an hour.” i tell her collecting my things, she stands up and ghosts a kiss on my cheak.

“kk love ya girl, i’ll see you tomorrow.” madi says waving me off before i become late for my shift.

let’s just hope she has at least a little bit of faith in me.

authors note - YAYAYAYAYAY IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS !!!

[spiderlandry]

Yes, Chef — ethan landry

Description: The most loving thing one could do is cook for someone else. Ethan finds out it’s your love language.

Pairing: Ethan Landry x GN!Reader

Warnings: implication that reader is shorter than ethan, no ghostface, amber was reader’s ex but it’s only a small mention, lmk if there’s any warnings i should add !! there may be some errors since i only edited this once

Word Count: 3k

Author’s note: i wrote with a poc reader in mind, and much of reader’s experience with cooking is based off my own

Chad is starting to get worried. Exams are in a month, and even though everyone he knows is working hard to prepare, it’s like Ethan is studying as if exams are next week. Chad thinks he can even hear his roommate talking in his sleep sometimes.

He wakes up to Ethan being up at the crack of dawn, a large cup of coffee in hand and deeper bags under his eyes than yesterday.

So, yeah, it’s concerning.

He already tried to coax him into taking more care of himself, but Ethan waves it off. He’s tried other things: getting Sam to scold him, try to get him to go out and party so he’ll get tired, having Quinn threaten him.

If nothing happens, he may resort to putting sleeping pills in Ethan’s coffee.

However, there is one more thing.

You.

Ever since Ethan was introduced to the rest of his friends which included you, he’d been paying more attention to his appearance and how he’s perceived. At first Chad thought he might’ve had a crush on Tara, but Ethan slipped up one time when he not very casually asked if you were going to a group hangout, a few weeks ago.

Chad can use that knowledge to his advantage, he realizes.

Knowing you since freshman year of high-school, you’re a naturally caring person, though can be quiet or a little closed off especially since the Woodsboro murders in which you discovered that your ex-girlfriend was one of the killers.

Your gentle nature, along with his crush, can surely save Ethan from burning himself out so much that he’ll show up to finals only a skeleton, right? Hopefully.

Chad prays he’s right as he sends you a text, Friday evening.

Chad

Hey, can I ask a favor

                    depends

Might be a little weird but u know how ethan has been studying rly hard?

                    yeah u said u were worried. is he ok?

Yeah he’s fine mostly. Im just worried so Im asking if you can

like

Ask him to hang out or something

                    ? why

                     not that i would mind but why

Youre the one he would say yes to I already tried other stuff to get him to relax but man looks like hes about to pass out

Idk I have a feeling its more than about school but its not my place and I think he would open up to u

You know he has a crush on u right

                      i dont believe u but ill do it

Bro dont even act like u dont like him too

                      shut up

You roll your eyes at your phone, already coming up with a plan for a way to get Ethan to chill out. That’s when you think of it.

Ethan allows himself to sleep in during the weekends. But when he wakes up at 11 AM to a text from you that was sent at six, he immediately regrets it.

He opens his phone to read it.

hey i have this new recipe i wanna try but i need a second opinion

wanna come over after work? i get off at 5

He rubs his eyes, making sure he’s reading it right. You? Inviting him? To come over to your place alone?

He’s not proud of the way he gapes at the message for a long moment before he can answer, responding with a ‘sure!’ despite the word not conveying his excitement mixed with the worry at the pit of his stomach. Why are you inviting him alone? He can’t let himself think that it’s anything other than friendliness, right? But you only invited him, so it must mean something.

He rushes to his closet to pick out his outfit, already forgetting about the unfinished page of notes on his desk.

Ethan has known you for a good few months, since the beginning of the school year. But at this point, he’s memorized your smile and your voice, becoming less subtle as time goes on. He pays attention to every single thing you’ve said about yourself, including but not limited to how you almost went to culinary school. He remembers how you once baked a cake for Tara’s birthday, not only the batter from scratch but also the buttercream frosting. He smiles at the memory of you showing the group how to make pasta one night.

To say he’s excited is an understatement.

He doesn’t even bother getting his coffee this time so his breath doesn’t smell like it.

Chad notices that Ethan’s usual cup is still in the cupboard, mentally patting himself on the back for getting the idea to reach out to you.

It’s not long until it’s almost five, and Ethan is walking the few blocks over to your apartment, enjoying the wind. He knows not to show up empty handed, so he stops at a bodega to buy your favourite chips.

You‘d gotten home a little early due to your workplace not being too busy, thankfully. You start prep, laying out the ingredients. The knock from your door reaches your ears a few minutes later, and knowing it’s Ethan you open the door.

You’re greeted with a bag of chips to your face, taking it and seeing Ethan have a slight upturn at the corner of his lips. You mirror his expression, albeit with a wider smile (you can’t help it), letting him into your apartment. He sits down at the breakfast bar facing into the kitchen, while you stand on the other side facing him.

This isn’t the first time he’s been here, but it is the first time he’s here alone. With you. He tried to get rid of the images in his head of him being over at your place every day because you want him to be there. He can’t think like that, not now when you’re beaming up at him while you showcase the ingredients on the kitchen counter, your sentences going into one ear and out the other.

“…Ethan?” Your brows are furrowed, not knowing if he’s paying attention. You quickly catch that he’s not—he has to think for a moment about what to say.

“Uhm—“ he clears his throat. “Sorry, I wasn’t listening. What?” He mentally cringes at himself. He’s sure you’d think he’s not interested and oh god, what if you think he doesn’t want to be there?

You laugh lightly. “I said do you like steak? I mean, I probably should’ve asked, but—“ You’re glad he stops your ramble before it goes any further.

“I like it, don’t—don’t worry.”

“Okay, good. Because this would’ve been awkward.”

Ethan is determined not to let any weird silences happen, so he continues despite not knowing what to say. His curiosity gets the best of him. “Not that I don’t want to, but why did you invite me here? I mean…just me.”

You try to brush it off, coming up with an excuse. “I invited Tara, but she couldn’t make it.” You turn back to the ingredients to get started.

He’s glad you’re not facing him to see his shoulders practically deflate finding out that he’s not the first choice. He’s not sure why he got his hopes up so much.

Before he can say anything else, you interrupt his train of thought. “Wanna help?”

He stands up quickly, eager. “What do you need?”

Truthfully, you’d made this dish a thousand times before that you could do it in your sleep. You’re not about to try anything new when your main objective is to take Ethan’s mind off things.

“How are you with knives?” You ask, taking out a chef’s knife from the knife holder. His eyes widen, begrudgingly taking the object from your hand.

“This is gonna sound—nevermind,” He shakes his head.

“Tell me.”

“I’ve never had to…cook before.”

“Oh,” you sigh. “That’s fine. Do you not want the knife?”

“I do! I just—how do I use it?”

You smile, an image he wishes was burned into his mind. You slide the cutting board toward you, putting a handful of asparagus in the middle.

Ethan can’t help but stare at your hand at the way you delicately go through the motions of cutting, slowly to make sure he sees it. You show him how to trim the asparagus, and you give him back the knife to try.

A spark tingles throughout his hand when you put yours on it to guide him.

“Just trim all of these. Got it?”

He nods.

You prepare the steak on a separate cutting board alongside him.

“Can I ask why you’ve been studying so hard, E?”

The nickname isn’t lost on him, but he tries his best to ignore it before he accidentally cuts himself.

“Finals next month,” He says curtly.

“Is that the truth?”

“Does it matter?”

“It does to me. But I’m not trying to force you.”

He pauses. “Can we change the topic?”

You nod, “You pick. Turns out I’m terrible at conversation. Can you fill up a pot of water for the mini potatoes? And put some salt in it.”

“How long have you been cooking?” He puts the asparagus in the bowl they were previously in and doing as you say. With the way he gets the question out so fast, you’d think he’d been thinking about it.

“As a kid, I was around a lot of people who knew how to cook,” you begin while you prepare a pan on the stove, melting the butter. “I learned from them. International dishes, mainly. Lots of spices. But I moved to New York and started working in a kitchen when I was sixteen, so I learned about some European pastries and white people food.” You chuckle.

There’s something with the way you talk about food that makes his chest warm. It’s unfamiliar, but a welcome feeling nonetheless. It’s different from how you talk about other things—this one feels more intimate.

You continue. “I think you know, but I almost went to culinary school.”

He does know. He wonders why you didn’t go.

“I took cooking classes as an elective at my high-school. I was lucky they offered that. Senior year, I was a stage for some really pretentious restaurants—y’know, mainly as a server, but I got to know how the kitchen worked.”

He hasn’t even noticed that the butter is almost all melted on the pan and you’ve put some rosemary and thyme on it until you pause to turn to him.

You grab the cutting board with the steak on it, placing it next to the stove.

“They were the kinds of places that served small portions for high prices.” You stared at the stove, turning up the heat.

“Why didn’t you go to culinary school?” He timidly asks.

“The people,” You say it so quietly at first that he almost missed it. “I met people who made the kitchen pretty much unbearable. There was shouting…lots of it, actually. The crazy high standards. They didn’t shout at me, but seeing it from the sidelines was worse…somehow? I don’t know.”

He finds himself wanting to have a stern word with whoever made you feel that way about something you so clearly love.

He’s about to ask another question before you interrupt him.

You pick up the steak from the board, motioning for him to come closer. “Always lay away from you,” you say. “Otherwise you splash oil on yourself, ‘kay?”

He nods. He continues with his question. “Do you regret it?”

He doesn’t realize how heavy of a question it is until after he says it, and he’s going to retract his statement but you respond.

“No, actually, I don’t.”

There’s a sweetness in your voice that’s hard to catch, but for Ethan’s ears, it’s as if they’ve been attuned to your tone.

“If I went to culinary school, I would’ve started to hate it—“ You grab the tongs, using it to push the sides of the steak to the pan, “—That’s searing. You seal in the juices when the surface browns, see that?—“

When he nods, you proceed.

“I grew up believing that cooking was a way to care about people, you know? Like a love language. And If I made cooking my career, that’s not what it would be for me. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, yeah. It does.”

Once all the sides are seared, you grab a spoon and you slightly tilt the pan, using the utensil to coat the steak in the melted butter. “That’s basting. So it doesn’t lose moisture. Every time you flip a steak, it loses moisture, so just do it once.”

He thinks he’s getting repetitive when he nods once more to show that he’s actually listening.

It’s not long until the steak is done, and he’s excited to get it on the plate but instead, you put it on a baking sheet and cover it in tin foil.

“You’re next.”

His head snaps up toward you, sputtering, “What?”

“Do you want to learn?”

“Yeah—“

“Then get to work.” You smirk, and he’d be lying if he said that didn’t awaken something in him. You point to the other steak in the packaging.

He tries to remember the steps you did, but you do have to remind him what to do occasionally.

You’re standing close to him, almost hovering, but he doesn’t mind one bit. In fact, he almost leans in instinctively when you bring your hand up to his face and pushes his curls out of his face.

“You’re doing good,” you whisper.

It takes everything inside him not to collapse right there. He’d give everything to feel your hand on his face again.

You’ve set two plates on the counter. The mini potatoes were boiled nicely, and you cut them swiftly in half (a feast for Ethan’s eyes). Ethan watches while you quietly as you carefully plate the food, and he can’t help but look around him. The used pan, the knives, cutting boards, you plating the food—there’s an element of domesticity.

It’s in the way you flash a smile directed at him and only him, in the comfort of your own home, after you’ve just cooked together. He imagines a future where it’s like this every night.

You open the fridge, grabbing out two sodas. As you turn around Ethan is surprisingly close to you.

Only a few inches away.

He slowly takes the cans from you, setting it on the space next to him. All as if he’s about to wake a sleeping dragon if he were to move too quickly.

“Why are you doing this?” He asks, almost in a pleading whisper. His eyes are boring into yours, and you can’t bring yourself to look away.

“I told you.” Your tone mirrors his. “Cooking is a way to take care of someone, and I care about you.”

He doesn’t know what possesses him to do the next thing.

He brings himself closer to you, not breaking the eye contact.

Suddenly, everything makes itself known. Your breathing, shallower than his, anticipating his next move. The way your clothes touch. The cold air coming from the fridge.

He brings his hand to touch your jaw, it’s a feather-like sensation as his digits make contact with your skin. “Is this okay?”

You gulp and nod, unable to find the words.

“Need to hear you say it.”

In the lowest whisper, “Yes.”

He lifts your chin, tilting his head.

It’s a tiny pause until you’re the one taking the leap, closing the small distance and slotting your lips against his.

Everything falls away, and nothing else matters. His lips are soft. You feel his large hands go to your neck and you wrap your arms around his torso, trying to get impossibly closer.

You’re the first to pull away and you grin when he chases your lips.

“Hi,” You beam. “W—what was that for?”

“You tell me,” he smiles.

You anticipate the night to end when you’re both finished the food and the drinks, and you’ve cleaned up the kitchen.

But neither of you want it to end.

You cross your arms, facing Ethan who’s reluctantly about to open the door.

“Wanna stay?”

He turns around, tilting his head like a cute puppy. “Thought you’d never ask.”

That’s how you found yourselves cuddling on the couch, a new show on your television.

“I have to tell you something,” you whisper, eyes still on the screen.

“Hm?”

“Chad told me to ask you to hang out.” You grimace. “And before you say anything, I didn’t invite you just because of him. I was worried about you too.” You look up at him, the proximity comfortable rather than awkward.

“I figured.”

“Really?”

His arm tightens around you. “When you asked me why I was studying so hard, I remembered Chad’s been trying to get me out of it. This was his last resort.”

You snort, “His last resort was putting sleeping pills in your coffee.”

“I’m…gonna have to talk to him about that.”

“Can I ask why you’re studying?”

“To distract myself.”

You almost sit up. “From what?”

“Not tonight.” He lays your head against him again, and your trust is in his hands. “Someday.”

And someday, he’ll tell the story about how the week before, he realized he loved you. It scared him so much that it kept him up for days, but the night you kissed would be the day his worries all went away.

[jazzyblusnowflake]

mini update yay-

so lets see, ill start off apologizing for being dead- exam season is around the corner and the only good thing about that will be that i will no longer have to teach or design papers- so i can probably draw a bit again, hopefully at least- so i WILL get back to the requests yall have sent me i promise uwu💕

tho bad news comes in the form of my school principles and viceprinciples bullying me because im a newbie, saying im not good at my job and putting their shortcomings as my fault because who wouldnt like to blame someone else for something they werent able to do- and i feel like the abuse im taking in this toxic environment is convincing me slowly to quit my job and start risking less stable jobs even if it means being my daddies little house girl again for a while. 🙄 at the very least even if im leaching off my parents i still actually HAVE somewhat decent parents and thats not something alot of people could say and im greatful for that.

the audacity was well shown when the principle went on the teachers meeting and was like "some of the teachers here who i will not name dont know how to do their job-" and then told me that i only got my job cuz my dad is rich [which yeah sure my daddy studied 4 years of uni and then credited me sure mmhmm makes sense.] and honestly i feel like im surrounded by 50 year old toddlers-

overall, learning to adult is difficult and im glad some people are helping me figure out how to put together a resume and apply for jobs and all that.... but i guess the next bad news comes in the form of us leaving for russia. i dont hate seeing other countries but having my life uprooted immediately after work ends and summer starts and selling off the car and putting stuff in boxes and yeeting ourselves via plane to live somewhere else for the next 4 years in pure isolation is not something my mental health is gonna be haha about. esp since im gonna have to talk to my therapist and doctor to give me enough meds for me to be able to search for another doctor while im there to give me similar treatment. ughhhhhhh.

overall i feel like i have reached a lovely level of ✨️no longer giving a shit about existance✨️ and thanks to some friends i was convinced juuuuust enough to reconsider ending myself :) in my defense, google was getting annoying for only bringing up hotlines =_=

my eyes cant see well anymore due to constant crying and emotional numbness has taken over me, so i apologize if i may seem out of it or a lil blunt at times when im talking lol i no longer have the energy to PRETEND and hold a mask to seem SOCIALLY appropriate and in this last month of school im gonna be making it everyone elses problem at school.

but other than that im looking forward for school ending so i could just sleep for a while without waking up BEFORE my alarms at 5am.

ok lets see what else uhh... my bday is on 19th and i pray to lord nobody makes a surprise party for me here, the anxiety of being in crowds is already kicking me in the ass im not ready to pretend to have a social battery ugh.

okay thats it mostly, i think.

i actually made this update MINI get it? :D

...ill show myself out...

[selfhelpforstudents]

A very honest exam season “review“

Dear friends,

I just got home from my last uni exam for this term. It's been a wild ride, I can tell you. Even though I love studying, gaining knowledge and empowering others, I struggle with "exam nerves" quite a lot. There is nothing to sugar coat here, it is something I really have to work on because it has been making my days feel like torture. Growing up poor, I was dedicated to work for a better life - for my family and others who struggled as well. I developed this feeling that I had to be the best at everything (especially in school) in order to have a great impact on this world, because no one else seemed to care about other people's struggles. Now, years later, after having achieved so much, I know that I am going to be successful in sustainability/ESG management, thus helping people (and I hope this blog helps you), but the feeling of being a failure when not being the best has stayed with me, overshadowing my successes.

Those of you who have been with me since the beginning (2017) know that I was very ill, and - my body starting to give up - I almost died in 2020. Suddenly, I was not able to work/study anymore - at least not the way I used to. So, when I got back to my studies in 2021, everyone around me seemed to be doing so well, while I had spent the last 2 years in and out of hospitals, trying to keep up with them - and my illness. These years have made my anxiety concerning exams even worse, because I feel like I have to make up for what was taken from me. To show everyone that I am still standing. I am going to work on anxiety tricks and tips for this blog - and hopefully, I will not struggle next exam season. So my question for you is: What do you do to lessen your anxiety when it comes to exams? <3

I actually have one exam left - but it is only the TOEFL, so that is totally fine!

Attached you can see my (very honest) past few days (aka the snaps my friends get haha)

Love, Sophia

[stormboundscholar]

First 10 Days!

October 25 and 26, Days 9 and 10/100 of Productivity

Hi everyone, welcome back to my blog! It's my 10th day of the challenge today, and I think that I managed to start off pretty nicely. I have studied over 60 hours already, and I think that I did my best. Sure, I may have studied a few hours less than possible, but I just count that towards resting.

It hasn't been very easy though, work naturally stresses me out, so I haven't been doing the best mentally. Stress is getting to me because I am not used to this kind of work load. At least it pays off most of the time, (sure I did a little bad on my last exam but I was just to ill to concentrate) and I will hopefully get back on track with my test results next week.

I am optimistic that I can go through with the 100 dop challenge this time around. Things have been going well overall and I am hopeful that it will stay this way.

Well, I would have also liked to speak in length about what I did today and yesterday, but nothing interesting happened lately. It's a bit stale, but at least things have been going predictably.

I will mostly talk about my studies in the rest of this post because of that. Let's get started!

Wednesday:

4 Hours of Biology (some work on Plants and some work on muscles)

1 Hour of Literature

3 Hours of Physics (Electromagnetism)

Today:

1 Hour of Grammar

2 Hours of Geography (weather and climate)

2 Hours of Geometry (rectangles, squares, basic stuff really)

1 Hour of Physics (EM waves)

There's not much to tell about my studies tbh. It was pretty productive, and I am happy with my work.

That's all for now! Good night everyone, and good luck.

[dokiyeom]

DORI DEAREST 💔💔😭😭😭💔💔😭😭 mmm i will have a lot of free time & since it's the last trimester of the school year and most exams are alr done, it will be less stressful + more fun so yay! but i will still have to study for my two last exams but i hope i can get more into writing & prepare for uni!! im also planning on throwing a bday party for my 18th bday in april so yayaya 🥳🥳

aww no :( i hope ur doing better and that ur well!! SENIOR TRIP??? hello that sounds so cool ! ive always wanted to go to japan so that just sounds super fun 2 !! no no igu it's the same where i live, u basically only see Dutch people during the holidays because they (+ english tourists) love this area LMAOO

NO NO ITS ALRIGHT HAHA i was only sure because he posted a bunch of other pics without the mask yk so don't be embarrassed 🙏 ok and what if i watch an episode today . what then . BUT YES DO SO!! i love it when people ramble about shows or other stuff 🫡

YAYAY scoups said they would have a cb in april and another one this year during caratland but he didn't mention the exact date so im just patiently waiting for the official announcement 🤭🤭 since im an april baby ill just ask my friends to get me that & ask my 1 kpop fan friend (that sounds funny idk why) to organize it since it's pretty complicated to buy an album with all the versions 👎👎 IM AN ARIES .. or a taurus?? april 20 baby here so it's right between them yk? but i did some research about zodiac signs and personality and bla bla bla && decided im more an aries hihi 😇 also why are u losing ur mind over photoshop im curious, tell me all about it!!

dori dearest indeed :D ykw i should start making individual tags for my moots so i can tag dori dearest on these :DD and aagh excited for u to have free time !!!! i’m vv much looking forward to reading whatever u write !!!

thank uu !! i just hung out w family friends && we had malatang && sukiyaki + milk tea & a strawb matcha chiffon cake that i baked + two whole tomahawk steaks && played sm mahjong !! i don’t have any cousins/extended family where i live,, so my family friends have really grown to feel like my family ?? and i literally love them sm,, like hanging out w them today has absolutely made this month exponentially better :D

&& yesyes im actually going back to japan for a bit next month,, so hopefully i’ll b able to buy some tickets to more popular exhibits n stuff domestically in advance for the trip w my friends :D ticketing there is literally insane if ur buying them internationally omg,,, vv much a nightmare process && DORI UR DUTCH ?? woah omg :000

if u watch an ep,, PLS LMK LMAO i need people to talk to abt hospital playlist bc it’s my literal fav thing ever,, like istg it’s the only thing keeping me sane rn :0 AND ALSO HELLO UR BORN ON 420 && SHARE A BDAY W JAY FROM ENHA,, stop i’m so jealous i literally share a bday w,, noah centineo,,, && aagh i hope it’s released around a time that’s convenient for ur friend to buy the album as a gift for u !!!!! tbh if it’s that time too,, mayb i can find it for slightly cheaper in japan :00

and dori. i’m like. constantly losing my mind over photoshop and sudoku. and digital magazines that require paid subscriptions to read their articles. but photoshop is just,, vv difficult to navigate atm bc i’ve only started using it a month ish ago to learn graphic design !!! so i still have a long way (and many more headaches) to go until im comfy && can use photoshop fluently <//3

[thelittlebeekeeper]

oof I'm so excited for next week!! it's gonna be a real good one

[vidalinav]

Stu(died)-Chapter 3

Summary: Cassian takes care of a sick Nesta

Nessian Modern AU-university setting. 

Masterlist, Stu(died) Chapter List 

(Rolls eyes hardcore) I am continuing this fic for literally five people. Smh. 

~

Nesta comes to their tutoring session late and that’s the first thing that tips him off. Already his phone is in his hand ready to call 911. He has Nesta’s number in his phone saved. The first person listed in his text log under Nerd. He can always text or call her. He belongs to The Rat Pack in Nesta’s Snap Chat group, and he knows he can always contact Emerie or Gwyn if something is truly wrong. Yet he dials in 911 and his thumb hovers over the call button.   

If she doesn’t show up in fifteen minutes, Cassian swears he’ll call.  

Nesta’s never late. In fact, she’s annoyingly early. She practically has a stop watch in her hand at all times, counting every minute she waits. When Cassian comes running in five minutes later, as he so often does, panting with some excuse, Nesta doesn’t even bother looking up from her textbook. She merely gestures to the seat, a heavy sigh on her lips, like she’s running out of time to bore him death even as she fascinates him to pieces. 

Her books should already be splayed onto the table, her pencils straight and neatly lined up. Today, the table is empty. 

He’ll give it fifteen minutes and then he’s calling.  

But Nesta shows up before another minute ticks by. She steps out of the elevator wearing that grey polo he’s seen on her a million times. She lugs her way to him, dragging her feet with the weight of those textbooks he’s sure are in her bag. 

She’s wearing a mask, today, and that’s another thing that sends his brain screeching somethings not right here! It covers half of her face, and her eyes look tired from where they peak above the fabric. Cassian doesn’t even bother waiting for her to settle. Already he’s crossing his arms, his brows crinkling with concern and something like irritation. 

How dare she think studying is more important than her health.  

“Go home,” he says as she nears. Nesta only blinks as if as not understanding his words. The fact that she doesn’t immediately argue is enough for him to start gathering his things.  

“What are you doing?” She says as he stuffs his notebook in his bag, “You have an exam in two weeks.” Nesta sets down her own, it slaps at the table with a heavy thump. Cassian can hear the zipper unzipping but not as well as the cough that roars out of her mouth.  

It’s loud and wet, and Nesta pauses as if to get her bearings, covering her mouth with her arm. She coughs and coughs and Cassian lays a hand to his own chest. He can almost feel how much it hurts, how she gasps. 

Cassian shakes his head, “No, I’m taking you home.”  

Nesta’s brows furrow and she gets that look in her eyes. He just knows she’s going to fight him on this. “I--”  

Cassian cuts her off, “please, save your breath. You’re going to make everyone sick.”  

“I’m wearing a mask!” Nesta argues.  

“It’s almost midterms.” Cassian gestures to the other occupants in the library. He sees one person with their hoodie pulled up over their head, clearly sleeping... and moves on to someone else. A group in the corner who’s standing by a whiteboard. “You want to take your chances with sleep deprived students?” 

Nesta seems to think about that. While she does, Cassian zips up her bag and throws it over his shoulder. It’s as heavy as he thought it might be. Briefly, he thinks of making a joke about how she must have stuffed a body in here, but he doesn’t think she’d appreciate it, given how quiet she is.   

Mentally, he starts making a list of everything she needs. Medicine? He’ll get the pills and the syrup, never mind if she scrunches her nose at the taste. He’ll get her soup. Not the canned. Cassian will buy the ingredients. He’s sure he can make something appeasing. Vaguely, he can remember his mom’s recipe. Beef broth and cabbage and squash. Hopefully she can stomach it. Never mind, the salt will be good for her.  

“Hey,” she whines, blinking up at him slowly, “give me my bag.”  

“Have you not heard me? You need to be home lying down. Not here, helping me study. Why on earth did you think this was a good idea? I’m taking you home.”  

Nesta crosses her arms and the intimidation tactic seems ridiculous with her face half covered and her endless sniffling. “You can try, but I’ll just refuse to tell you my apartment number.”  

Cassian scoffs, “I know where you live. I can see your room from the house when you study at night.”   

“Who says that out loud?” Nesta shouts. 

She must be terribly ill if she’s yelling in a library. That’s all he can think as he gestures to the elevator, bags in hand. 

“Never mind that. Let’s go,” Cassian says, walking ahead without her. 

He can’t hear her shuffling though, so he turns back to find Nesta leaning on a chair, holding her stomach. He can already feel himself sighing.   

Cassian rushes back just in time for Nesta to rip off her mask, and move to the closest trashcan. It’s situated under one of the bulletin boards and as Cassian sidles up to her, rubbing at her back and pulling her hair away, he looks to the papers tacked to the board.  

Join the rowing team. Looking for tutors. Research participants wanted.  

He can hear the retching and Cassian reads on. 

Babysitter wanted for professor, transportation needed.

“I haven’t thrown up since middle school,” Nesta says pathetically. She frowns as he hands her his bottle of water. Her nose and cheeks are red and for some reason he thinks of Rudolph, lighting the way for Santa through the storm. 

He feels bad for little Rudolph...

“Now will you let me take you home,” Cassian sighs. He hopes it doesn’t sound like an ‘I told you so’ but she should really be lying down. He lays a hand to her forehead, but she brushes him off, moving towards the bathrooms.  

“I’ll wait right here,” he says, but Nesta moves ahead as if she doesn’t hear him at all. Cassian can’t find it in himself to mind. A sick Nesta is guaranteed to be a stubborn Nesta, he just knows.  

When she gets out, she looks surprised to see him and that’s another look that just proves how sick she must be. It’s a fairly obvious prediction that he’s going to wait next to the girl's bathroom, counting ceiling tiles. It’s a perfectly ‘Cassian with Nesta’ thing to do.  

“You’re skipping class?”   

Nesta coughs again, and she looks perfectly pitiful as she blinks her tired eyes. Cassian can feel his lips frown, and he shifts her bag more securely on his shoulder if only to keep himself from reaching out for her. Already he can feel his hands bunch into fists because he wants to grab her own and squeeze it until she's reassured. He wants to hug her until she feels better.  

But he can’t.  

Cassian lists every action he wants to do. Kiss her forehead where Nesta rubs her hand, because she must have a headache from how sick she is. Put on her favorite movie, so she can fall asleep to its sound. Run to every store, raiding every Walgreens and CVS until he comes back with a pharmacy.  

What might she allow now that she’s sick? Will she let him fuss like he wants to?  

But Nesta rolls her eyes in that haughty way of hers. “You can’t do that.”   

“I can’t do what?” Cassian asks and he wonders if she can read his thoughts. If she studies him so well, reads him like one of her textbooks, memorizing facts and facial features.  

“You can’t skip class,” she argues. “Why am I tutoring you if you’re going to skip class?”  

At the words, all Cassian wants to do is sigh. She’s thinking about attendance at a time like this...   

“Nesta, there is no class more important than you.” 

Her brows crinkle at the center like she’s going to start arguing, but Cassian allows himself one touch. He places his thumb there, between her brows, smoothing out the lines. Nesta rips away, blinking up dazed and all too confused. Cassian would laugh at the look, if he didn’t need the distraction.   

He juts his head to the elevator quickly. “Let’s go. We can walk slow, so don’t overexert yourself.”   

Nesta scrunches up her nose, so cute and red, but she follows him anyway albeit a little petulantly. She holds her hand out for her bag, but Cassian turns toward the doors, pretending not to see.   

“How does me being sick make you bossy?”   

Cassian doesn’t dare to respond. He doesn’t know whether he’ll admit that he wants to take care of her, that’s he’s so worried a knot twists in his stomach, or if he’ll make some joke, he knows will make her mad. Maybe that’s the better option, he thinks. He can handle a mad Nesta. He likes a mad Nesta, but a Nesta who so easily rejects him?   

Cassian doesn’t know about that.   

“You don’t have any classes left this week, right?”   

Nesta coughs into her sleeve before answering. Though she means to sound queenly, she only sounds sick, “you know where I live, and you also know my class schedule... seems suspicious if you ask me.”   

“I’ve known you for two years.” 

“And murder victims are three times more likely to be killed by someone they know." 

Cassian huffs out a laugh, shaking his head, “Do you still go to sleep watching SVU? Or have you switched to Lifetime movies where the babysitters always try to kill the wife?”   

“People should be wary about the people they know,” Nesta shrugs as if that’s answer enough.   

Cassian snorts, “well you don’t have to be wary of me.”   

As the elevator doors open, Cassian gestures for her to go first and Nesta does, but not before crossing her arms.   

“That’s just what a murderer would want me to think.” She squints as if dissecting him, limb by limb. “You kill me, and I’ll haunt you. You won’t be able to sleep at night without thinking of me.” 

Too late, Cassian thinks.  

It’s much too late for that.  

~

Rudolph has the patience of a five-year-old when she’s sick. Cassian learns this fairly quickly when he runs inside a Walgreens on their way to Nesta’s apartment.  

There’s a bench that she can sit on, where she can wait if she feels tired, but no. Nesta decides she needs to run errands. She has an entire basket filled by the time he finds her again. She’s by the greeting cards, holding three open at a time. Cassian huffs with a receipt and medicine in hand.  

“Here,” he says, giving her the cough medicine. “Take some of this.”  

Nesta doesn’t even bother with pouring. He watches as she rips the cap away, taking a swig right out of the bottle, gulping it down.  

“That’s way more than the suggested amount,” he cries, “you can get drunk on this stuff!”  

“Good, maybe I’ll forget this day ever happened.”

Cassian sighs... it seems all he does is sigh when she’s like this. A sick Nesta is a petulant, irritated Nesta with a permanent furrow between her brows. 

“I know you feel sick,” he tries to placate, “but I bet you’d feel a whole lot better if we get you home as soon as we can... so you can lie down and sleep.”  

Nesta only picks up another Halloween card. She ignores his suggestion, laughing under her breath as she reads whatever inane joke is written there. Soon, she’s coughing though, and Cassian reaches for the basket just to stop himself from rubbing a hand down her back, combing his fingers through her hair.  

Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, his thoughts scream.  

Cassian looks to the contents to distract himself from her watery eyes, and that’s when he notices what she’s grabbed. It seems that while he was in the cold and flu aisle, Nesta was raiding the snacks. 

“What is this?” He gestures to the basket. Two boxes of cereal. Caramel corn. Baked Lay’s and cans of Arizona tea. Cassian takes one and holds it up. “Really Nesta?”  

“What it’s green tea!” she argues, shoving another card back in its slot.   

“This is all... junk,” he tries to explain, but Nesta’s already glowering. 

“Look I don’t question your decisions. You don’t question mine.”  

Cassian gives her a bland look. “You question my decisions all the time. Before we came in here, you literally said ‘why are we going in here, Cassian? Weren’t you supposed to take me home.’ You said that.”

Nesta simply raises her chin, pulling out another card. “I recall no such thing.” 

“Fine,” Cassian grumbles, “if you want to eat yourself to an early grave and ignore everything that could potentially make you feel better than that’s just fine with me.”  

“Good,” she says, putting back the other cards. Nesta settles for a pop-up that sings Monster Mash when she opens it. She sets it in the basket he holds, walking ahead without even looking back. “I’m ready to check out.”  

“Really?” Cassian jokes, mockingly. “Are you sure you raided the candy aisle?” 

Nesta stops in her tracks, peering through the section with printer ink and paper as if she can see the other side. He swears he’d facepalm if he wasn’t carrying all this stuff. 

“You’re right,” she says, nodding. 

“Wait!” Cassian calls. “Where are you going? Nesta!”  

Too late. He can already hear crunching bags. 

The variety packs.  

Cassian sighs, lugging their things to the aisle next door. 

~

“Can I use these vegetables?” Cassian asks, as Nesta shoves open the door to her room. He’s surprised she’s not still by the freezer. When they first get back to her place, she sticks her head in there and he wonders if he should suggest taking her temperature, or if she’s doing it just to show him she’s annoyed.  

Perhaps her ears bleed from the sound of his voice.  

That seems like something Nesta would say.  

“They’re Emerie’s. Why?”

“To make soup,” Cassian explains, rifling through the contents. There’s zucchini and summer squash. Onion, fresh parsley and carrots. Cabbage and lettuce. Fresh fruit. He can make a nice stew out of this.  

Nesta scoffs, “I don’t need soup.”  

She enters her room, shoving the door back behind her until it leaves only a crack.  

“You can leave now,” she yells. “I’m home like you wanted.”  

“Are you lying down?” He asks, crossing his arms sternly though she can’t see him.  

Nesta sighs loudly, “you’re annoying!”  

“Maybe if you got some rest, I’d be less annoying,” Cassian sings brightly.  

He can hear the soft sound of her voice. “Doubt.”  

Cassian shakes his head with a smirk. He opens his snapchat where The Rat Pack is the first on the list, but the group name has changed... to People I Tolerate.

That’s got to be Nesta.  

Cassian laughs under his breath and types. Can I use your vegetables? Making Nesta soup.

Emerie’s bitmoji pops up at the bottom, but the person who texts back first is not Emerie, but Gwyn.  

You’re at our house?

Cassian can almost hear her voice. Stern and cautious. He’s almost certain she doesn’t like him. Gwyn looks at him with even more disdain than Nesta when he's around. That stay away from my friend look.  

He sighs. Yes, Nesta’s sick.  

Gwyn’s quick to respond. I can come home early. I need to drop off a paper, but I can be there in 30.  

Cassian rolls his eyes and types, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of her.  

Nesta’s face pops up. I can take care of myself.  

“No, you can’t!” Cassian yells.  

“Yes, I can!” Nesta yells back, but then she starts coughing again and he can hear her groan in the other room. Cassian raises a brow at her door.  

I’m going to make soup. I’ll make enough for all of you, but can I use stuff from the fridge? I’ll replace it all.  

Emerie’s face pops up and then disappears quickly. He’s about ready to go to the store himself or at least next door to the House, but Emerie’s text appears.  

I have no objections to this.

Cassian smiles in relief, and he’s about to set down his phone when another notification appears. It’s Emerie again.  

And if you make good soup, you can stay indefinitely.  

Cassian sends a winking emoji. Nesta sends back the emoji with the straight mouth and eyes. Before he can frown at what that means, Cassian sees that the group name has changed... to Three’s Company.  

That’s got to be Gwyn.  

Stone cold, Emerie texts back.  

Cassian decides he’s going to ignore that for the moment and focus on the objective at hand.  

Soup.  

Cassian pulls out the vegetables and looks through the cupboards. Emerie, it seems, has all the good spices. He finds the broth packets stored in the back, and he pulls out some beef from the freezer. It’ll need to defrost but he can start the broth now, get the vegetables soft, and brown the beef later. It’ll take a couple of hours anyway.  

Occasionally, he hears a cough as he works. Then a sweet laugh... followed by a cough and a groan. Cassian feels bad for her he does, but he can’t help but find the whole situation amusing. She should be resting and yet she seems to be wide awake.  

Nesta doesn’t come out of her room though. It’s as if he’s not even there, and he takes that time to look over her shared apartment. There are three doors, each with a letter at the front. The N is blue, the E, green, and the G, pink. He doesn’t know how it’s possible to have a living room that looks like all three, but somehow it works. It’s studious and bright. Colorful, but subdued. There are way too many throw pillows and books scattered everywhere, but there’s also a TV with a fireplace under it. He can just imagine Nesta laughing at scary movies. Some slasher fic she’ll watch like she’s taking notes.  

He can imagine Nesta everywhere, in fact.  

This is where she eats. Where she sits. Where she studies. This is where she trips over shoes if they’re not neatly lined up and where she complains about dirty dishes. This is where she cooks... if she does cook. Cassian doesn’t know.  

Maybe he’ll get to find out one day.  

Once the water starts boiling and the meat is in the microwave to defrost, Cassian goes to check how Rudolph is doing.  

He knocks on her door lightly, pushing it open. “Nesta?”  

Cassian’s never seen her room before, say for when she sits by the window with her curtains wide open, and just like then, it seems like an invasion of privacy to do so now. But Nesta’s plopped on top of her bed, tucked beneath her blue comforter, and she sets down her phone when he appears at the door.  

Her whole room is filled with blues and creams, and it looks exactly what he imagines Nesta’s room to look like. The large calendar, an agenda on the desk, bookshelf after bookshelf lining her walls. There are also things he doesn’t know of her yet. Pictures and posters and a.... stuffed lobster? Cassian holds it up.

“Would you stop looking around?” Nesta groans. She has her arm resting over her eyes, and he wonders if it’s because she doesn’t want to see him looking or if she feels that bad that the light is bothering her.

She should be getting some rest, he thinks.  

“Where did you get a stuffed lobster?”

Nesta coughs out her response.

The sound makes Cassian grimace, his chest ache with need, but he doesn’t rush over like he wants to. This is her house, her room... and this is Nesta who doesn’t like to be coddled by anyone.

“It’s a heat pack,” she says at last, after she catches her breath.

“A heat pack?” Cassian looks to the soft red claws that dangle. He’s never seen anything so soft be a heat pack.

“For cramps,” she says as if it’s obvious. Nesta must take his silence to mean ignorance for she lifts onto her elbows, raising a judgmental brow. “Please tell me you know what periods are or am I am going to have to go back to teaching you biology?”

“No,” Cassian draws out, “I know what periods are.”

Nesta mumbles a thank god and Cassian watches as she shifts under the covers, pulling them up until they hover just beneath her mouth.

“Are you cold?” Cassian asks, looking around her room. He spots his burgundy hoodie neatly folded and nearly yanks it from her desk. “Here. Wear my sweatshirt.”

“I just washed it,” Nesta whines, “I was going to give it back to you.”  

Cassian’s confused by the words, but he merely gestures for her to budge up. He’s thankful when she doesn’t argue. He rolls the sweatshirt over her head and Nesta fits her arms through the sleeves.  

“You didn’t have to wash it,” he says, watching as she pats down her hair. If only he could pull it up for her, comb his fingers through it. She could use his scrunchie too, if she wanted.

Nesta rolls her eyes, and he can only imagine what she thinks. He can practically hear the words. Of course, you wouldn’t care about clean clothes.

Her expressions practically give her away--everything she feels and thinks. Cassian wonders if he knows how open she is to the rest of the world. He wonders if she’d hate him if he told her this.

“It was going to smell like me,” she frowns.

Cassian wants to huff out a laugh. That is perfectly fine by him.  

“Stop laughing,” she whines, “I’m being serious.”  

“Yes, you’re being very serious.” He can’t help his smirk as he gazes up at her. He doesn’t even realize he’s on her bed, sitting to the side of her all bunched up in red. Her nose to the fabric. He almost wants to say she looks cute in his hoodie, all sick like that, but he knows she’ll only bite at him, remarking about how he has some weird fetish for sick girls. 

Cassian holds back a laugh as he hears the microwave ding. He needs to turn the meat around, so it doesn’t cook through, but Nesta grips his arm. His head whips towards her and... Nesta’s gazing up at him. Her eyes are a soft blue. Just like her room.  

“You’re warm,” she says. To explain herself, he thinks, and why she holds him as if she doesn't want him to move.   

Cassian’s lips raise lightly, and he places the back of his hand on her forehead. “You must be worse than you’re letting on if you're okay with me being in your bed.”  

Nesta scoffs, “you’re on it. Not in it. I’ll make that distinction very clear.”  

“You can’t be that sick then,” Cassian shrugs, smiling. “If you’re making everything sound like a tutoring session.”  

Her cheeks flush a bright pink and Cassian thinks she must have a fever. He wonders if he should search for an ice pack or make one, so she doesn’t get too hot.  

“Are you tired?” He asks, noting how slowly she blinks. “You did drink a lot of cough syrup.”

“I also took a NyQuil,” she says, closing her eyes.  

Cassian huffs, “remind me to teach you how read warning labels when your fully coherent.”  

He can hear the microwave ding again, and it reminds him of an alarm. Wake up! It seems to say. Being in Nesta’s room does feels like falling asleep. Rather dream-like and hazy. The microwave dings incessantly, but Cassian doesn’t want to wake up just yet. 

Her hand is still on his arm. It’s so much smaller than his and he wants to trace the skin there and see if it’s as soft as it looks. Cassian doesn’t dare look at her, in case she doesn’t just bang together two loud cymbals and tell him to get up and out and away. 

Cassian looks ahead instead, fixing his gaze on the stuffed lobster on her desk.  

“Nesta,” he starts and then swallows. He feels nervous, his hands clammy. “Nesta, I really think you and I... we’d be good together.”  

Cassian takes a breath, and he stares at the lobster as if it’s her face. “We’ve known each other for a long time now and I... I haven’t hid how I feel about you.” His heart is beating way too fast, and he doesn’t feel any freer from speaking the words, but Cassian decides it’s time to rip the Band-Aid off. “I thought maybe... we could try it out. See if you might be comfortable with it. If you might like me... too?”  

He doesn’t know why he words that like a question, but Nesta doesn’t say a word. Cassian looks back, hoping there’s no disgust in baby blue. He doesn’t know what he’d do if she just outright says he’s trash and she’ll never like him. 

But Nesta’s fast asleep.  

Cassian doesn’t bother sighing as he grips her limp hand, setting it on the blanket. He doesn’t bother being disappointed when he tucks the comforter around her. Her cheeks are a lobster-red and he rubs a thumb lightly there, wondering what it would be like to hold her face in his palm and kiss at her nose. Would she complain as he pecked her lips? You’ll get sick Cassian.  

Then we can stay in bed together, Nesta.  

No. Cassian’s not disappointed at all. 

He’ll tuck away his dreams where tomorrow lives. 

Today, he’ll stick to what he’s good at, so Cassian heads to the kitchen to make soup.

~

~ ~

~

~

Mwahahahaahah

~

In case you missed, here’s the stuffed lobster in the flesh.

~

Tagged: 

@arinbelle @my-fan-side @sophilightwood @nestaarcher0n @duskandstarlight @soitsgorgeous @swankii-art-teacher @lordof-bloodshed @thewhelk @daisy-in-danger @highqueenevankhell @lovelynesta @sirendeepity @champanheandluxxury @ladynestaarcheron @moodymelanist @teagoddess99 @spoilersteph @angelic-voice-1997 @bo0kmaster69 @drielecarla @generalnesta @cozycomfyliving08 @confusedfandomslut @dread3r @sv0430​

~

"Why am I still writing this fic?" I say angrily, as I angrily type it in my angry word document.

[missmorosis]

sick manager :)

-> feat. sugawara and kuroo

part 1 with bokuto, oikawa, and tsukishima here!

genre: fluff!

synopsis: y/n, the manager of her school’s volleyball team, finds herself sick after days of hard  work, yet she still goes to school to support her team~ 

warnings: the reader is sick, and she passes out in kuroo’s scenario :))

pairings: sugawara x reader, kuroo x reader (separate!!)

total word count: 1.5k

a/n: OKAY SO HAHHSLKDFJ RIGHT WHEN I WAS WRITING THIS CHAPTER I GOT SICK W/ A FEVER- I THINK I JINXED MYSELF OMG

i tried to make the scenario KINDA different, but with the same idea hehe

anYWAYS i’m so sorry if this makes like zero sense AHSLDKF- i wrote a lot while i was sick SO ill blame it on fever delusion if it flops 😌

OH AND THIS IS FOR @haikyuuheartsclub ty for reading the first one and asking for a part 2 hehe <33

You getting sick was inevitable.

You knew that you were bound to get sick with all of the work you had been doing and all of the late nights you spent preparing volleyball strategies, planning practice tournaments for your team, or studying until your eyesight blurred.

Being your school's volleyball team manager was not only hard, but it was ridiculously time consuming. Not to mention that you were bombarded with schoolwork, and you had exams coming up. Your stress levels had never been higher, and you were practically living off of caffeine with the amount of sleep you were always lacking.

So when you woke up with a sick feeling and the worst headache, you weren't completely surprised. Annoyed would have been a better word.

You knew that your team was getting ready for an important tournament, so you would have to stay extra long for practice. Groaning as you got ready, you weren't sure you could make it through the day.

You sluggishly pulled on a hoodie and brushed your teeth, taking note of how warm you felt as you washed your face. Grabbing a thermometer, you quickly measured your temperature.

100.4 Fahrenheit. Not too bad... just a low-grade fever. You tried to shrug it off and ignored how disgusting your body felt. You slung a backpack over your shoulder and walked out the door, heading to school.

You waited at the bus stop, shaking your head to try and make the sickness go away. When the bus arrived a while later, you plopped down onto the closest seat and you couldn’t stop your eyes from closing. You were just so... tired...

You drifted off to sleep, the soft sound of the bus driving across the road comforting you.

...

“Uh, Y/N?” Someone was shaking your side, and you immediately lifted your head from the bus window you were leaning on. It seemed like you just closed your eyes a second ago... where were you now?

"Mm?" you hummed sleepily, blinking slowly. You rubbed your eyes as the sunlight filtered through the window, and it made you feel warmer than you already felt.

"Hey, sorry to wake you, but we’re already at school." You looked outside, and he was right; you saw Karasuno in the near distance. 

Your brain processed the fact that Sugawara, a third year from Karasuno’s volleyball team, was sitting next to you. You saw his blurred figure lean next to you, and he brushed some hair out of your face. His fingers grazed against your forehead, but he quickly froze. 

"Y/N- Y/N! Why is your forehead so hot?" He studied your face with concerned eyes, noticing how tired you looked.

"Hm? No, it’s not. It wasn’t that high when I checked... probably the sunlight..." you mumbled, leaning on the back of your bus seat behind you. You put a hand on your forehead, and it confirmed that you were indeed burning up; it was considerably warmer than earlier in the morning. You groaned and got up.

"You don’t look too good, don't you think you should go home-" Sugawara started, but you interrupted him.

"No, you need your manager today, you guys have a game soon," you said, your tone tired but strict. Sugawara eyed you anxiously, but you waved him off. "I'll be fine," you reassured him. Grabbing your backpack, you got up from your seat, heading for the bus’ exit.

Woah.

You knew you were sick, but you didn't think you would be this dizzy. Everything seemed to sway to one side, and you put one arm on the seat of the bus, leaning on it for support. You rested your head on your arm, and you felt Sugawara’s arm wrapping around you for support.

“Alright, now you have no choice. You’re taking a break, whether you like it or not, clearly something’s not okay,” he told you, and you were too lightheaded to argue. You just nodded along and he helped you back into your seat. 

You clutched your head as you tried to make everything go away. Sugawara went to talk to the bus driver in the background, and miraculously, the driver made an exception for you.

“We’re ahead of schedule anyways,” the bus driver reasoned. He turned the bus around, heading back towards your house.

“Okay, now that that’s done, you can sleep if you want to. You could probably use the rest, I can only imagine how tired you are...” Sugawara said softly, and you gave a small nod. You scooted further down into the seats, making enough space for the boy to sit next to you. He gladly obliged, and he couldn’t help but smile at the sight of you drifting off to sleep. Your head subconsciously drifted onto his shoulder, but he didn’t mind.

“Hey, Koushi?” you mumbled, your voice coated with sleepiness.

“Yeah? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing... I just wanted to thank you.” Your eyes remained closed, and Sugawara couldn’t tell if the blush on your face was from your fever... or something else? 

“You need to take breaks, you know. You work really hard, it’s a wonder you haven’t dropped dead yet,” he said, half jokingly. “Thank you.” You smiled, and finally fell asleep.

Kuroo found you in the classrooms; your head was down, and your headache was terrible. You were almost asleep; you were trying your best to stay awake, and you weren't sure how long you could keep it up.

He was walking down the halls, casually glancing into your classroom to see if you were finished, and he softly smiled at the sight of you.

"Tired, Y/N?" Kuroo asked, smirking as he tapped your shoulder.

"Hm?" You lifted your head up, surprised at the unexpected touch. "Oh- Kuroo, shut up," you replied, rolling your eyes as you stretched. He laughed and grabbed your backpack for you, slinging it over his own shoulder.

“Ready for practice?” he asked, looking down at you. You nodded, and the two of you walked to the gym.

Your head was killing you with every step you took, but you had no choice but to ignore it. You looked to the distance, trying to ease your headache. Kuroo’s voice was slowly melting into background noise. 

Suddenly you froze and stopped walking, earning a curious glance from Kuroo. You were forgetting something...

“Wait- where’s my... backpack?” You spotted it on the boy next to you, and you shook your head. “Sorry, forgot that you had it,” you said, with a sheepish laugh.

“Something wrong?” he frowned. “You’re acting distracted... more distracted than usual, anyways.” You shook your head, deciding to keep your sickness to yourself.

“I’m good, just tired,” you assured him. He nodded slowly, and walked into the gym, you following close behind.

Only you, Kuroo, and the coaches were in the gym; you were early. You flashed a quick smile as you waved hello.

"Great, you guys are early. I have a couple strategies to discuss," the coach said, gesturing to a whiteboard in front of him. The two of you nodded, and he began to explain.

"Alright... if we're going to win this next match..." he started, but you couldn't make yourself pay attention. The only thing on your mind was how your head wouldn't stop hurting, everything seemed to echo, and just overall how sick you felt.

"What do you think, Y/N?" Kuroo asked, quirking an eyebrow in your direction. You snapped out of your sleepy state at the sound of your name.

“Wha-” You blinked, looking around at all of the eyes on you. You tried to remember what the others were talking about... oh. Strategies. Right. "I just think we... we need to..." You looked at thr whiteboard, but you couldn't focus. You swayed to one side, blinking hard. The world really seemed like it was tilting to one side... "Woah, sorry-" you tried to say.

"Y/N?" You saw Kuroo reach out towards you as you slowly lowered down into a fetal position, resting your head on your knees. "Hey, Y/N? You okay?" You swallowed.

"Yea- yeah. Just... give me a second," you breathed. You felt Kuroo kneel down next to you, and you were right; someone's arm wrapped around you for support, and you knew it was Kuroo's. You knew you were safe as you lost consciousness, falling further into his arms.

...

You awoke, and the first thought was how bright the gym lights were... they weren't this bright before...

"Oh- Y/N! You're awake," Kuroo said, rushing over to you. He put the back of his hand on your forehead. "You're still burning..." he said with a frown.

"Sorry," you muttered. "I don't know, I've been sick all day and I guess I couldn’t handle it..."

"Why didn't you tell me you weren’t feeling well?" he asked, concern clear in his voice. You smiled softly.

"It wasn't important... besides I have manager duties to take care of," you said with a sigh.

"Not if I can help it." He picked you up in one swift motion bridal-style, smirking as you struggled to get down. "I'm not letting you down; I'm taking you home and getting you some proper medicine for this fever of yours. Health is more important than volleyball." You huffed and flopped into his arms in defeat.

"Fine." You leaned closer into Kuroo's chest, and he smiled, satisfied with your surrender.

"That's my girl." You rolled your eyes, but you couldn't help but smile.

A/N: THESE WERE NOT THE BEST- I ADMIT BDHDDJNDJEW

hopefully these weren't too bad though-

haikyuu taglist: (send an ask to get added hehe) @floralkawa <3

MWAHH THANK YOU FOR READING!!

[mirstudiesstuff]

22 February 2022

Today i woke up as usual , 5:45 am

I didnt do much today even though i had a free day, my worries and thoughts got the better of me and i froze halfway through studying for the next exam, and thats when i realized i didnt do much self talk or practice self love at all recently, i was only thinking about how to improve fast (which is impossible cause we learn slowly and theres no life hack for that), while i was doing whatever, i looked through my old sticky notes that are random , and saw some of the affirmations and motivational stuff i used to write to myself and decided ill just stick them all in the yellow bujo so i can look back at them whenever i feel down.

I didnt study much today but im not being harsh on myself for it, this process isnt all perfect and im accepting whatever is thrown at me, but i will hopefully learn how to deal with it with better coping mechanisms, i tried distracting myself from my thoughts today because i thought that if get into the details of my feelings and why my brain isnt cooperating with me i would get distracted from studying and it will take time and energy to work on the psychological side of me, but there are ways to sort out my thoughts so i can study undisturbed;

start journaling , especially in mornings to clear my head

Practicing self love by taking care of myself physically and mentally

take few minutes to draw everyday to focus on the present moment and enjoy it

~ life is unpredictable and thats the beauty of it, just learn how to deal with what it throws at you~

Also i made dalgona coffee and it was so good, im not a coffee addict but im starting to get addicted to it (its just milk with coffee cream on top) and its easy to make at home✨

For tomorrow, i will try to lay out my todo list and work it out, i have to go attend in the clinic but ill try to study there in the free time i get.

Have a goodnight ✨💖

[nordic-language-love]

Language Learning Log 2022 Week Five (31.01 - 06.02)

Banner photo: I’ve been ill this week, so rather than studying, I’ve been spending a lot of time playing Pokémon Brilliant Diamond.

Wrote 2x journal entries

Read 7x articles

Listened to 1x Ekko podcast

2x italki lessons

Reviewed vocab with Anki

I’ve been ill this week with a nasty cold (not covid, according to the five tests I’ve taken). I only really felt snotty for a couple of days, but I’ve been so tired, and my throat was really sore too. Yesterday I sounded the lovechild of a corpse and a robot 😭 I feel better today, and I think I’ll be back to normal by the end of the week. It means I’ve not done a lot, but hey - gotta look after myself!

I’m starting to feel a bit burnt out in regards to studying. My Bergenstest prep is starting to feel repetitive too, so I need to figure out what I’m going to do about that. I’m keeping up my Anki streak, but it feels more like a chore than a quick something I do when I have a few spare minutes. When I first started, the new words I learned cropped up in lots of subsequent articles or radio shows, so I felt a real sense of achievement when I could recognise them. Lately I’ve not been so lucky. Still, not a lot to do but keep working at it. My vocabulary is still what lets me down, so I need to keep doing my best to expand it, even if it’s not that interesting for me (although ideally coming up with a new method that’s more engaging would be ideal).

This week I’m working, but next week I’m taking 5 days off. I am sooooo looking forward to it! Plenty of time to just watch Norwegian TV shows, stretch, read a book and maybe catch up on sleep. After that, it’s back to the ol’ grind up until the end of March, when I travel to Stavanger for the exam :o As if it’s coming up so quickly! Anyways, hopefully I’ll feel refreshed and ready to tackle Bergenstest prep head-on again after my week off! Until then, I’ll keep soldiering on through, reading articles and revising vocab and trying to get at least one interview report and/or essay done this week.

[wewontdieunbloomed]

24.09.2021

A 7/10 day

Literature paper didn't go so well, I didn't manage to wake up early to study and so I only managed to cram for like 30 minutes. I don't think I did that well for the paper, and this is honestly what makes me feel the worse, that lit of all subjects, the only oje that I actually was excited to study for and the one that I enjoy, is the one that I barely managed to study for and disappointed. So I got home and decided it was time to revamp my studg system (bc I guess thats how I deal.... try to transform myself every time something bad happens I guess). Its still a rough idea but I do hope to refine it and implement a better studying strategy after these exams are over.

These next 3 days will be for bio, chem and math, and Im only kind of certain for chem, the other two reslly need more work. I hope I'll nake use of these 3 days well.

J think part of the reason why it feels so dreary to tske these promotional exams is because this entire A level course is 2 years, and there is no end of year exams excitement of a usual one year curriculum where we can look forward to a break until the next scholl year. It will just be moving on to ghe next bit of content and Ill have ti catch up on lectures that I ditched in order to revise for promo exams. So that's not a gery exciting prospect. Its basically a replay of the July exams and that makes me really disapponted in myself. But anyway what's done is done, the only way is to learn from this and start my new system that will hopefully let me do better foe the next time. First up after these exams is going to be a big reflection and planning for the road ahead.

[sukifans]

Hii! Can you do maybe a sick female reader, and Sokka takes care of them? A short blurb is good, and pretty much the rest is up to you!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

- ✌ anon

FEVER PITCH // sokka

WC: 1k

WARNINGS: illness ig

A/N: thanks for the request! just some short cute fluffy stuff for ya. i was sick for like all of october and had the flu for like ten days and i wish i had a sokka to bring me some soup

⇦ 𝘔𝘈𝘚𝘛𝘌𝘙𝘓𝘐𝘚𝘛

TO: sokka <3, 7:31 PM

i think i’m sick i feel awful

TO: sokka <3, 7:31 PM

this sucks i have like 3 exams this week

TO: sokka <3, 7:56 PM

pls answer i am your gf i am ill i want attention

TO: sokka <3, 8:15 PM

sokkaaaaaaaaaaaa :’(

FROM: sokka <3, 8:17 PM

i’m here!! i’m sorry i was studying i had my phone turned off

FROM: sokka <3, 8:18 PM

my poor baby :(( how are you feeling?

TO: sokka <3, 8:18 PM

terrible!!

TO: sokka <3, 8:20 PM

i have a headache and i’m all hot but also freezing and i’m coughing and nauseous

FROM: sokka <3, 8:21 PM

that sounds miserable, do you want me to bring you soup or something? i can go to the jasmine dragon and get you some tea

TO: sokka <3, 8:21 PM

both pls 🥺

FROM: sokka <3, 8:23 PM

alrighty princess i’ll be over soon

TO: sokka <3, 8:24 PM

thank u i love u very much ur the best boyfriend ever <3333

FROM: sokka <3, 8:25 PM

i love you too!! 🥰☺️😍😊 and i know i am 😤

Even in your sick state, your heart still started racing when you heard your boyfriend turning his spare key to your apartment in your front door. You peeked out hopefully from your nest of blankets on your bed as he opened the door and came in, holding a grocery bag and two paper cups from the Jasmine Dragon. He sent you a grin as he kicked his shoes off.

“Sokka!” You gave him as bright a smile you could muster that was quickly overtaken by a cough following your cry of his name. You made a face as you swallowed back the mucous caught in your throat.

“You sound horrible, babe,” Sokka said, setting the bag down on your kitchen counter.

“I feel horrible,” you rasped, flopping back in bed against your stack of pillows.

“It’s okay now, though,” he cooed, approaching with your tea in hand. “Dr. Sokka’s here to get you feeling all better in no time!”

You quickly buried yourself under the blankets before he could reach you. “Don’t get any closer, I don’t wanna get you sick.”

“You asked me to come!” he laughed, pulling the fabric away after setting the tea down off to the side. “You can’t beg me for attention and then hide when I give it you.”

You pouted up at him. “Well, I do want the attention. But I also don’t want to give you anything in case it’s contagious.”

“Nah, I’ll be okay.” He puffed out his chest. “I have an incredibly strong immune system. My white blood cells are little tanks that decimate any foreign body!” He dropped into a fighting stance and mimicked a quick one-two punch in the air.

Your giggles at his dramatics made you start coughing again. “Don’t make me laugh,” you wheezed, “you’re gonna make me choke!”

“I can’t help being so funny, that’s like asking me to be a whole different person.”

“Well, then I’m gonna cough on you and I won’t feel bad about it anymore.”

“Go ahead, princess! Like I said, impenetrable immune system here.” He pounded dramatically on his chest and you rolled your eyes, trying not to laugh again.

“You’re a weirdo.”

“I’m your weirdo.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You desperately had to fight back your smile as you cradled your tea and took a long sip. You scrunched up your nose and glared at Sokka. “What is this? It’s disgusting. Zuko made it, didn’t he?”

“No, but he did call me a simp when I told him it was for you. I guess Toph finally taught him what it means.” He sat down on the edge of your bed and slid his hand over your thigh, absently rubbing circles into your skin with his thumb. “I tried to order your usual, but when Iroh overheard you were sick he insisted on making you something to help you feel better. So, I guess it’s medicine.”

“It’s gross.” You took another sip and winced at the bitter taste. He gave you a sympathetic look and reached up to brush your hair back from your forehead.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” you sighed. “Iroh’s always been a tricky one.”

“I did get you some soup, though. You want that?”

“Yes pwease.” You gave him your best begging eyes and jutted out your bottom lip. He shook his head, pinching your nose as he stood.

“Don’t do that stupid voice.”

“I don’ know what you’we tawking about.”

“I’m gonna eat your soup.”

“Don’t you dare, Sokka.” He laughed at your sudden shift in tone.

“Finish your tea. Knowing Iroh it’ll probably get you better faster than any prescription. I think that old man’s a witch.”

“You’re a witch,” you grumbled, sipping at the tea anyways at his request. You didn’t have the energy to fight him about it. He returned with the takeout bowl of egg drop soup and you immediately abandoned the medicinal tea in favor of the savory broth. “Thanks, babe.”

“Of course.” He leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead and crawled into bed next to you. You only ate a little bit before you started to feel queasy again, so you put the bowl to the side and snuggled up next to your boyfriend. “Is something wrong with the soup?” he asked as he tucked you under his arm.

“No,” you hummed, closing your eyes, “I just feel gross. I’ll finish it later.”

“I’ll put it in the fridge, then.” He moved to get up again but you swung your leg up over his body and wrapped your arm around his waist.

“Don’t get up,” you groaned. “I just wanna cuddle and get my germs all over you.”

He made a face but settled back down. “Ew. What happened to not wanting to get me sick?”

“Changed my mind,” you mumbled.

“Figures,” he snorted. He pulled you in tighter and gently kissed your temple and the top of your head. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“I know I am.”

“Say it back.”

“I’m lucky you love me.” You had to fight back your smile at his huff of indignation.

“(Y/N),” he whined, making you chuckle (and cough).

“Fine, I love you too.”

ATLA TAGS: @hotgirlazula @octophopi @simpinforsukka @protect-remus @akiris @sunflowerazula

ZUKO/SOKKA TAGS: @fiantomartell @buckywiththagoodhair @hypercakeiii

[vulnera-sanentura]

Cat Facts: Why’s this Cat Vomiting?

Like most of my posts, this is coming more from a veterinary student/pre-vet education perspective, but hopefully some owners that follow me can get some useful info from this!

Unsurprising to most vet students, there’s about as many reasons for vomiting as there are diagnoses in general. We’re going to attempt to narrow that down a bit, break them into categories which makes it more useful for diagnostics and relevant differentials.

First off, you have to differentiate vomiting from regurgitation.

Vomiting: nausea (drooling, lip licking, swallowing, depression/restlessness), abdominal muscle contraction, contains bile/digested blood/digested food

Regurgitation: no nausea, no abdominal contractions or bile, presence of undigested food in a tubular shape.

Once you’re sure it’s actually vomiting, you’ll need to differentiate it into acute or chronic, as well as emergency/non-emergency. Acute will be in the last few days or day of presentation, often multiple times in the same day, and will often present as more “sick” than the chronic vomiter.

In chronic cases, the vomiting is usually more than 2 times a month and has been going on for months to years. Chronic vomiters can be “apparently healthy” and the vomiting only brought up at a wellness check or prompted by the vet/nurses and the owner didn’t think to bring it up because “cats just vomit, and they seem fine other than that.” History can help a lot! If there’s an acute case, and the cat has access to toxic substances, a habit or likelihood of eating foreign objects (hair ties, string, q-tips, etc), or has had a recent change in diet, that could lead you immediately to the most likely cause and the most appropriate next steps. Acute vomiting generally has fewer causes or at least more obvious causes, and next steps generally include abdominal radiographs or triage/supportive care if indicated. Physical exam can locate a linear foreign body that’s anchored to the underside of the tongue.

So, what if that doesn’t help? That’s when you start your baseline diagnostics! CBC/Chem/UA can rule in or rule out a lot of potential causes for vomiting:

Diabetes: hyperglycemia, glucosuria, ketonuria, low USG

Liver disease: hyperbilirubinemia, decreased BUN, increased liver enzymes, bilirubinuria

Renal disease: increased BUN/creatinine, low USG

Hyperthyroidism: increased T4, increased liver enzymes (ALP, ALT), mild increase in PCV, low USG

Electrolyte/acid-base derangements: Na, K, Cl, Ca, pH, bicarb, tCO2

Eosinophilia: parasites, IBD, hypereosinophilic syndrome, mast cell tumors

Neutrophilia: gastroenteritis, neoplasia

Neutropenia: salmonellosis, retroviruses

Hemoconcentration: dehydration

Anemia: chronic disease, GI blood loss

Fecal may also show parasites, and FeLV/FIV positive snap test might be supportive of vomiting from a FeLV/FIV related illness

Secondary diagnostics beyond bloodwork and urinalysis would be the next step after that. Radiographs may show abnormalities in organ size/architecture (small kidneys, enlarged liver), foreign bodies, GI obstruction, or masses.

Ultrasound is the diagnostic of choice for **chronic vomiting and normal bloodwork**. It can reveal thickening of the stomach/small intestines, wall layer changes, and/or enlarged lymph nodes. It can also show or allow better examination of abdominal masses, or the presence of free fluid.

fPLI may be indicated if pancreatitis is suspected, but may be normal in chronic pancreatitis cases. Heartworm testing if the cat lives in an endemic area, after other causes have been ruled out.

Intestinal biopsy and histopathology is recommended in cases of chronic vomiting with GI thickening seen on ultrasound. This will differentiate between IBD and lymphoma, which cannot be done without the histopath! Though presumptive and empirical treatment may be considered in cases of financial concern. IBD is often in younger cats and lymphoma in older, however that’s simply a generalization and not a hard and fast rule. IBD and lymphoma are the two most common causes of chronic vomiting in cats. Exploratory surgery and full thickness biopsies is preferred over endoscopic biopsy, as you can retrieve intestinal samples from more than just the duodenum, the samples will be higher quality for your pathologist, and you can determine the staging of the lymphoma (if that’s the cause).

What should I tell owners to keep a look out for? 2x a month or more vomiting, INCLUDING HAIRBALLS, is abnormal and justifies an ultrasound study. Cats should in theory be able to process hair since they evolved to groom their fur (a bit more leeway is given to long-haired cats since that’s a genetic mutation we’ve selected for), and vomiting hairballs regularly is suggestive of hypomotility of the GI tract.

The only exception to this is eating grass and vomiting, as grass is irritating to the stomach and can cause vomiting, but is more or less harmless on its own.

Due to this being a very wide topic I didn’t go much into specifics, but I can if you all are interested in any specific parts of this!

[chronicillnesscaneffoffplease]

Being chronically ill in uni is just…

Spends forever dithering about the “introduction email” you have to send your professors at the start of semester, outlining your accomodations/EAP from disability services and the fact that you are always sick™️

Feels weird about the fact that that is sometimes their first impression of you (esp. if it’s an academic who is well respected in your field who you’ll hopefully work alongside some day 😐)

Alternatively, having professors who taught you before you got ill for another class and wondering if they think differently/less of you now

Requests extension and feels weird about how much to put on the request form. Also extension request should take 10 min, actually takes hours.

Feels weird about extensions and special exam accomodations (like extra time) in general.

Feels weird about academic achievement. Especially if I do well when I got an extension.

Tries to discretely take meds during class.

Attempts not to have my super loud joint pop when I’m studying on the silent floor of the library.

Meets other chronically ill students/academics in later stages of their academic careers and feels reassured that it’ll all work out somehow. That being chronically ill won’t hold be back from the career I want.

Has no idea how much to say to classmates and friends.

Plans doctors appointments around class to try to minimise clashes. This is hard when you don’t know your schedule for the next semester when booking in 6-month follow-ups with your specialists. It’s also hard in general when your option is take something with a class clash or wait another three months to see them. But health has to come first.

Attempts to hide the outward signs of brain fog and pain.

Feels really invisible, but knows I’d hate being visibly ill and having to deal with people being weird because of it.

Is the person to go to for information about accomodations/deferred assessment or exams/ medical withdrawal.

Has a professor who is nice-ish but weirdly anal about class attendance and emailing her about stuff. I think she’s going to be a bit tricky. It’s a clause in my EAP that allowances have to be made if I miss class occasionally due to my illness, and considering I’m hoping I’ll have my upper and lower endoscopy scheduled during the second half of the semester I’ll be off a few days recuperating- I’m pretty foggy after anaesthesia. But I don’t want to have to deal with her going “just ask your classmates about what you missed”- I shouldn’t have to disclose to them just to get the class information, when that’s your job as a teacher and it’s an accomodation outlined in my EAP. I’ll just have to unleash disability services on her if she’s being weird about it. But already not looking forward to that 😓