#then he meets other tall humans and he is like ????? you guys can actually reach the top shelf??

[geronimomo-spd]

we know and love the headcanon that Eight is tiny, and i truly believe that Charley is extremly small as well, but i love to believe that C'rizz is the tallest bitch on the block

C'rizz thinking that people from their univerce are just like that(tm) until he gets back with them to their own univerce and they are all like, actually averaged size and tall people and he is like oh... its just you guys

[gallusrostromegalus]

How old's everyone by the time canon bleach rolls around?

Well that's an interesting question that I have devoted way too much thought to.

Most people in soul society age at the normal pace of one year per year, so they only have One Age, but even a tiny excess of spiritual energy can make some age much slower, and in Seireitei, which is full of Spiritually Potent People, most people have two ages- Calendar and Living Age. Calendar is how many years someone has existed, Living is approximately what developmental age they're at. Most Shinigami age at about one year for every 2-5 Lived, with average "died of natural causes and not in the line of duty" lifespans coming to 200-400 years. Power Level has a HEAVY Inverse correlation to aging, but once you hit the power levels associated with Seated officers and captains, things get Weird. Also fatal. Very few captains have died of Natural Causes.

But re: Everyone's ages in June 2000, when the series starts under the cut:

Karakura Gang:

The Kids are not dead yet, so not Subject to the extended lifepsans yet, but I did age everyone up a bit- Ichigo and his Human Friends are all Juniors in High school- age 17... ish.

Ichigo's 18th birthday occurs a couple weeks after he meets Rukia. He was held back from starting Kindergarten for a year because he was too short to reach the drinking fountains.

Chad was tall and his parents were both working full time so his mom persuaded his school to let him in early, so Chad only had his 17th birthday the month before he meets Rukia.

Kon: CA: 132 (9 years in his body) LA: 3, but in cat years, so really more like 22 in human years. An grad student in charge of a pack of teenagers.

Rukia: A Member of the Karakura Gang by association (i.e. my staging notes), Rukia is CA: 73 and LA: 20. She and Renji entered the academy when they were CA:25 and LA: 16. Like many high-powered shinigami, her rate of aging is slowing as she accumulates power, so she will likely live to see at least 500 (unless something happens)

Renji: See: Rukia. Rukia is eight months older than Renji and NEVER lets him forget it.

Kisuke Urahara: CA: 328 LA: 32.4545454545- Urahara is aging at one year for every 11 lived which pleases him because at least once a century his ages will line up and he'll have a straight shot of numbers and that's CLEARLY an excuse to have a MEGA birthday party and give him extra presents! He'll be 333 AND 33 in 2005, so Ichigo should start planning his surprise party!

Yoruichi Shihoin: CA: 329 LA: 28 Yoruichi is 365 days older than Kisuke (He was born in 1672) a leap year) and NEVER lets him forget it.

Isshin Shiba: CA: UUUH- LA: UUUUUUUH- Isshin Shiba was born to the Shiba Clan in 1846, was 154 when he vanished in 1980, appears to be in his mid-forties now, and can only actually REMEMBER the last 20 years of his life with any Clarity. The battle with White left his soul so damaged that when he fused with Masaki, he lost all his spiritual powers and forgot damn near everything- he remembers his given name, the name and face of Kaien Shiba but not how he knows him, that shinigami and hollows exist... but when he overheard Ryuken Ishida lying to the hospital staff that this was his friend from medical school who had been in a terrible car accident, he believed him, and assumed he WAS a doctor that had been in a terrible accident. Masaki was just as frightened of the Shinigami coming after the Quincy. While she could keep her relatives at bay, she couldn't fool the shinigami, so she asked the others to make sure Isshin never tried to return to spirit world... and they went along with it. As far as Isshin knows, Urahara was a guy he worked for as a teenager who helped him set up shop as a doctor after the accident. Yoruichi really is someone he used to be on the intramural volleyball team with back in college. Shinji is some guy who knew his parents, and decided to stay a friend of the family even after after they died in the accident. He and Masaki were married in a beautiful ceremony some weeks ago... Shame they lost all the pictures... Ichigo's promotion to Substitute Shinigami and the confrontation about "You used to be a CAPTAIN?? Why didn't you warn me and the twins about anything???" is one HELL of a shock for him.

Soul Society:

Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto: CA: 2,146 LA: 75 He was enjoying a Long Prime Middle Age until his Divorce in 1196, at which point he went bald, went gray and lost a significant amount of his muscle mass in under a decade, and has looked like an Old Man since.

Chojiro Sasakibe: CA: 1,358 LA: 66 (debated). Chojiro was barely 100 years old when he turned up at Yamamoto's Post Officer Self-Defense Dojo and refused to leave. His Lived Age is a secret known only to Unohana- the debate rages because Sasakibe was born with his Silver Fox hair, and with that removed, shows very little signs of aging. He insists he "-Just keep myself very well." and refuses to elaborate. He has a standing agreement with the SWA that his LA over various years may be revealed after he dies, so they may let people lay bets, on the condition that they give him a percentage when laid to support his Black Tea Habit.

---

Soi Fon: CA: 201 LA: 29 Soi Fon has genetically terrific skin and if her mother is any indication, she'll look like a twentysomething until she hits menopause. THEN she'll look like a Silver Fox.

Marechiyo Omaeda: CA: 102 LA: 24 Omaeda has only been Lieutenant for 14 years, taking over the position early after his father (the previous 2nd Division lieutenant) had an extremely unexpected stroke. He's recovering well, but doesn't want to return because he's so proud of Marechiyo.

---

Ichimaru Gin: CA:DEBATABLE, but at least 357 LA: 21 Gin has several days that *could* count as his "Birthday" but he's existed in his current body for as long as Rangiku has known him.

Rojuro "Rose" Otoribashi: CA: 312 LA: 37 Rose was promoted to captain a bare 2 years ago when TBTP happens, and is considered Young for a captain. In terms of Living Age, he's one of the oldest Visored.

Izuru Kira: CA: 89 LA: 23 He was a bit older than Rukia and Renji in CA and LA when he entered the Academy. He could have entered sooner but he was the sole caregiver for both his parents, who died premature deaths of chronic illnesses.

---

Retsu Unohana: CA: 804 LA: "As old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth." According to the official records, Retsu Unohana enrolled in Shin'o Academy in 1198, and when asked her age, said "I became as I am last year" Which the intake officer interpreted to mean that she died and appeared as an adult in Spirit World in 1197, and she has absolutely failed to correct that misconception. Or update the public records regarding her age.

Yachiru Unohana: CA 1,497 LA: 37 To her credit, Unohana DID die when she was 17 and appeared in the afterlife at the age she died at. Then she barely aged by the time Yamamoto recruited her in 998. She served as Kenpachi of the 11th Divisison for 199 years, until her battle with an as-yet-unnamed young man in 1197. Shortly after her 200th year as Kenpachi passed, she came to terms with the fact she was no longer the fighter she was, and fell in battle to her lieutenant. With that, "Yachiru" Unohana died, and the following day she enrolled in the academy under the name Retsu to study medicine.

Isane Koetetsu: CA: 282 LA: 28 Isane and her sister Kiyone are unusual for Shinigami in that the Koetesu clan has some of the slowest-aging shinigami in it, and the slowed aging STARTS as infants. Isane couldn't even enroll in Shin'o Academy until her 100th birthday, and even then she needed special dispensation to let what was functionally a 10-year old take college classes.

Hanataro Yamada: CA: 141 LA: 23 Hanataro is the younger brother of Former 4th div Lieutenant Seinosuke Yamada, who now runs the Seireitei Medical Center i.e. The Rich Bitch Hospital. Hanataro entered the academy at a very young age like Isane and graduated with honors, but people tend to compare him to his more accomplished older brother, which both of them think is Unfair seeing as Seinosuke is a whole 112 years older than him. Hanatarou started in the 4th division at the tender age of 42/14, and some of the other medics decided to prank the lieutenant's baby brother by sending him to do the initial medical checkup of newly-appointed 11th division captain Zaraki. When he failed to return for six hours, Seinosuke went into a panicked rage and ran to the 11th, ready to make Zaraki the shortest-serving captain ever if need be, only to discover Hanataro patiently vaccinating and enthusiastic Zaraki for EVERYTHING, a process that was taking a while because Zaraki's spiritual pressure kept breaking the needles. Hanataro has been the 11th Division Pocket Medic ever since, to the detriment of Seinosuke's blood pressure. Zaraki encouraged his interest in Toxicology by bringing him dozens of venomous snakes to milk while on field expeditions, also much to the detriment of Seinosuke's blood pressure.

---

Sosuke Aizen: CA: 432 LA: 47 Aizen was born an identical twin, but was the only brother to inherit any spiritual powers. The boy's mother was caught and killed by an enraged shopkeep stealing food to feed a half-starving Sosuke when they were young children. The boys managed to get jobs in another city working at a candy store, and did so well that the owner left the store to them when he retired. Sosuke's marketing talents and Sosato's culinary skills made "My Brother's Candy" a wild success, and soon they were opening franchise stores, and became popular minor celebrities in their district. Sosuke even married and had children- and grand children, and was an active member of his district government and merchants council, personally opening up several schools and water treatment facilities. Then, shortly after he and Sosato celebrated their 88th birthday, tragedy struck. There was a massive flood that lead to a massive crop failure that lead to a massive disease outbreak, which lead to major political upheaval, which lead to Sosuke and his brother having to flee their home. Unfortunately, Sosato dearly loved his brother, and when the hail of arrows came down on them from the soldiers pursing the civilians, Sosato decided that he was near the end of his life anyway, while Sosuke- still functionally in his 20's- had so much to live for, and put himself between his brother and the onslaught. And so Sosuke Aizen went from Revered Councilor, Celebrated Candymaker, beloved Great-grandfather and Twin to an Exile and the sole survivor of his name. He joined the Shinigami, determined to make the Soul Society a better place where what happened to him would never happen again- only to discover that he was at the mercy of a corrupt and incompetent government, and worse, an apparently uncaring God. Until one night when he had a dream- all the pieces of his study of Kido came together and he realized there WAS a way to fix all this- He just had to become God. With that, Gin slithered away into the night and deep into the far districts, so he could assume a human form and forge an identity Aizen wouldn't question when they met back up again.

Shinji Hirako: CA: 412 LA: 31 Shinji genuinely thought he could get away with impersonating a high schooler to spy on Ichigo- after all, he still looked like he was what, 22? With the right clothes and some recent slang- "Why is there some creepy old guy wearing the school uniform?" Ichigo asks his friends the second he sees Shinji. "He looks like some kind of weird hipster who's trying to relive his youth." Sighs Mizurio. "-Or a really deluded pervert who thinks he can sneak into the locker room." says Tatsuki, cracking her knuckles. "He doesn't look THAT old-" Keigo protests, and there is the briefest glimmer of hope for Shinji's Ego. "-Maybe he's some kind of super-senior who got held back a bunch because he's dumb as a brick." Shinji crumples to the ground, defeated by the direct hits to his insecurities.

Hinamori Momo: CA: 66 LA: 26 Momo has an extreme case of babyface but is secretly ripped under her uniform and well on her way to MILFdom from the waist down. The first time Hiyori sees her in shorts is a psychological and spiritual awakening.

Hiyori Sarugaki: CA: 126 LA: 20 Hiyori is the youngest Living Age and slowest-aging visored. She gets mad about her youthful appearance but also uses it to get children's discounts at theme parks.

---

Byakuya Kuchiki: CA: 181 LA: 26 Byakuya was married quite young, and Widowed soon after. He's still in his prime, and exceptionally hale for a Kuchiki- Despite the exceptional spiritual power of the clan, the centuries of inbreeding have given them severe health issues and very short lifespans for their power. Byakuya's grandfather Ginrei only lived to 486, and his father Sojun died at 200 from Hemophillia. Byakuya is still working up the nerve to tell Rukia that she will likely outlive him by a considerable margin, and the fact that Rukia hasn't got a nibling to spoil was His medical problem, not Hisana's.

---

Sajin Komamura: CA: 712 LA: 22 Komamura is somehow both Older AND Younger than everyone thinks he is, and that's not even getting into the "Wait, is that in human years or wolf years?" Debacle. When Yamamoto met Sajin for the first time in the 1400's he was extremely impressed with the giant warriors skill and courage, and before Sajin had a chance to greet him properly, asked the warrior to join his Academy. "I- I'm really old but I'm actually eight." came the voice of a small boy from behind the helmet and Yamamoto had to go stand with his face pressed into the wall for a minute.

Love Aikawa: CA:345 LA:33 Love Aikawa is one of the few shinigami who came into his spiritual powers so fast that he did NOT have a creer before becoming a Shinigami.

Tetsuzaemon Iba: CA: 154 LA: 30 Testsuzaemon was still a small boy when Komamura was appointed to the third seat of the first division, and got to know his mother Chikane Iba. Chikane worked extremely hard, but held Yamamoto in high regard, and Komamura in similar regard by extension. So now Tetsuzaemon is lieutenant to a man he still secretly thinks of as his "Favorite Babysitter".

---

Shunsui Kyoraku: CA: 856 LA: 48 Shunsui was forced to join the academy before his 100th birthday by his noble family because they had not actually planned on actually having a third son survive to adulthood and didn't really know what to do with him. Both Shunsui and Ukitake are old enough to remember when Unohana was still Yachiru, and Shut The Fuck Up about that fact.

Nanao Ise: CA: 141 LA: 28 When she first arrives in Seireitei, Yachiru Kusajishi is LA Eight, and quickly makes friends with Nanao, who is the other little girl close to her age with spiritual powers: "You're my baby sister now, but you'll be my Big sister sooner than later." Yachiru explained. "What do you mean?" Nanao blinked at her. "You're what, Living Age Seven, right?" Yachiru asked, squinting at her. "Yeah, but I'm really Forty-One!" Nanao insisted. It bothered her when people refused to take her seriously because of her age. "Right. I'm like Living Age Eight, so I'm your big sister. But I'm actually Four hundred and six." "…What?" Nanao gaped. "but, but that means you must be aging at…" She frowned, trying to do long division in her head. "-I age about one year for every fifty lived, yeah." "You- oh god." Nanao realized. "You outlive everyone you know." "Not everyone! Ken-chan and I are both aging at the same pace." Yachiru explained, wobbling a bit as she walked the log over the creek. "I guess I'm lucky- there aren't that many of us who age this slow so most of us don't have anybody who's really a 'life-long' companion, and I might be only one with a parent that's got a similar lifespan!" She grinned. "I age at about one for five, so in- ...in less than ten years I'll be older than you." Nanao hummed with concern. "Yep! But until then, you have to do everything your Big Sister says!" Yachiru grinned.

Lisa Yadomaru: CA: 427 LA: 36 Even though they're not REMOTELY related, Lisa bonded very strongly to Nanao when she was Shunsui's lieutenant. This causes some dispute with Yachiru when she returns to Soul Society because according to yachiru, Nanao is her Little Big Sister, owing to the difference in CA, to therefore Lisa is her Big-Big Little Sister, and Lisa thinks she doesn't have to support Yachiru's Candy Habit.

---

Kaname Tousen: Calendar age: 499 LA: 32 After the events of the Winter War, during which Kaname turned 500, Kaname disputes that he is only 350, because he spent the last 150 years under Aizen's Curse and "-You call that living?" Everyone (except Sajin) regularly forgets when Kaname's birthday is because he doesn't celebrate it- it was also his sister Kakiyo's birthday and he hasn't really felt like 'celebrating' since she was murdered, and Ichigo is the first person to REALLY understand his feelings on the matter, his own mother dyind so close to his birthday and how visiting her Memorial wasn't exactly a celebration, but it wasn't exactly mourning either.

Shuuhei Hisagi: CA:119 LA: 27 Renji entered the Academy the year Shuuhei was due to Graduate and still thinks of Shuuhei as his "Senpai". Shuuhei entered the academy the same year Rangiku was due to graduate, and still thinks of her as his "Senpai". Renji once called Rangiku his "Grand-Senpai" She and Shuuhei both beat him with shoes about it.

Kensei Muguruma: CA:469 LA: 29 Kensei supports Kaname's declaration that he's only 350 because finding out Kaname is older than him brings up all the insecurities Kensei developed from being the MUCH younger brother to five sisters, and he can't handle being "The Baby" again.

Mashiro Kuna: CA: 506 LA: 25 It took 47 rounds of Janken with Yachiru for Mashiro to finally be the first to get to three victories and declare herself The Biggest Sister. She also saw Kensei's meltdown about Kaname being older than him and is quietly holding onto the fact she's older than both of them until the moment it will cause her beloved captain the maximum amount of Psychological Damage.

---

Rangiku Matsumoto: CA: 357 LA: 29 Rangiku measures her Calendar Age from the date she appeared in Soul Society at age 14, which is an accepted practice, but sometimes people want to add their years in the living world as well. Rangiku supports Kaname's claim to be 350 because they let HER knock 14 years off her CA for an even more arbitrary reason, and also it means she doesn't have to get him a belated 500th Birthday gift for another 150 years.

Toshiro Hitsugaya: CA: 60 LA: 12 Hitsugaya is FAR AND AWAY the youngest Shinigami to achieve a seated officer's position by any age, and this was 100% done as a political maneuver by Yamamoto. Hitsugaya is no Slouch- he graduated salutatorian of his class and is the youngest person ever to achieve Bankai, but Yamamoto slapped him into the lieutenant's position 20 years ago (Hitsugaya graduated within weeks of Isshin Shiba's Disappearance) SPECIFICALLY to put Rangiku between him and any unscrupulous noble houses looking to forcibly adopt him/marry him to a spare heir/straight-up kidnap Hitsugaya to prop up their failing genetic lines. One of the clans tried it anyway and the resulting smoking crater where the clan compound used to be put the fear of Haineko into everyone and has so far discouraged further attempts.

---

Kenpachi Zaraki: CA: 1,477* LA: 42 Like Gin, Zaraki has several dates that could count as the start of his existence, but when asked how old he was at the first moon-viewing party he went to- "...How d'ya guys measure that?" Zaraki asked, studying Shunsui with his good eye in a way that made the hair on the back of his neck prickle. "Uh- well, for most people, it's when you were Born in Soul Society, but if you died and appeared here it's the day you first existed in Soul Society." he explained, feeling like he was missing an important dimension to the question. "Oh! In that case I'm- wait, shit. What day is it today?" "It's November 18th." Unohana smiled. "Ah, fuck! With all the chaos I forgot-!" Zaraki laughed. "Turned 1,377 last Monday." The assembled Shinigami all stared blanky, save for Unohana, who appeared to be trying to not laugh into her cup. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I heard that correctly..?" Jushiro asked, entirely sure he had. "One Thousand Three Hundred Seventy-Seven." Zaraki repeated slowly, grin cracking across his face. "-Can't say I've done as good a job lookin' after myself as Sasakibe here though." "I- good heavens! The only person you're younger than is Yamamoto himself!" Aizen exclaimed, eyes wide behind his glasses. Zaraki frowned at that for a moment and then nodded. "...If you say so." Unohana made a small snuffling noise as she tried to not snort sake up her nose laughing. "How old are YOU, Mr. Glasses?" Yachiru asked. "Hm? Oh, I'm 332! And how old are y-" Aizen began to reply before he was interrupted by Yachiru jabbing her finger into the tip of his nose, cackling. "HAH! you're seventy- uh- seventy four years younger than me! You're a little baby man!" She clapped her hands with glee. "Unohana-sama? Are you alright?" Ukitake asked as the chief medic coughed suddenly. "I'm having a great time!" She wheezed, eyes watering from accidentally inhaling her drink.

Yachiru Kusajishi: CA: 506 LA: 10 Yachiru was Very Loved by her parents. Zaraki tells her this. When he found her, he found her in an otherwise abandoned house, with her parents, who had obviously died protecting her from the late-winter cold snap. She was still in her mother and father's arms when he came to investigate her cries. Her parents were wearing kimono that had the bottom third cut off, just above their knees, even though it was the middle of winter. She was wearing a double-layered baby Kimono made of the fabric they had cut off, to make sure she stayed warm. He took her into the nearest village, in hopes someone there could nurse her and tell him what her name was. She was lucky- there was a woman nursing her own daughter who agreed to take on her as well. But the Village elder hung his head in shame- he knew the couple the vagrant described- they lived far up the mountain, and only went by the name "Kusajishi", the name of the district, as was the style of many poor and illiterate farmers. They only came down from their farm once or twice a year to sell the special herbs they grew up there- the elder had seen the woman pregnant, but they had not come down to tell him the girl's name for the village records. So that day, the vagrant became Kenpachi Zaraki, and gave to her the name Yachiru as any parent should name their child, and the name Kusajishi, after the parents that loved her so. She only ever calls her adopted father Ken-chan, and is the only person who is allowed to call him that, because a parent should be called something special by their child. In deference to her parent's sacrifice, she does not call him "father". That was another man, who died for her. Zaraki does not lie to Yachiru, ever. Everything he told her about how they met is true. He has omitted one detail from the story, however. Her parents died from the cold snap because they had to be at least eighty, and not blessed with spiritual power like her. She had outlived her parents as an infant. And after speaking to the village elder about how, to his shame, he'd never managed to ask the little girl's name, even since he was a little boy, and failed to send anyone up there to check on the family, The vagrant with no name sat near the fire in the village hall, holding the little girl with no name. He thought about how terribly lonely it was, to not have a name. and how lucky he was that he had a mother who also had an extremely long lifespan that was able to live through raising him, and that he could still visit and speak to. and how unlucky this little girl was, that she did not. "How d'ya get a name?" the vagrant asked the village elder. "Well, here you just tell me what your name is, and I write it down in the village records." the elder said, watching him with curiosity. "...if I tell you a name, will you show me how to write it?" He asked, voice barely above a whisper. "Of course." The elder nodded. The vagrant was silent for a while. "Then her name is Yachiru Kusajishi." Said the vagrant. "...And yours?" The elder asked, picking up the record book and inkstone. "Mine?" the vagrant asked. "You're giving her a name because she hasn't got anyone else to do it, aren't you?" The elder asked, gaze steady. "If you name something, it's your responsibility forever, and you're going to have to be responsible for yourself if you're going to be responsible for her." The Vagrant considered this for a while. "My name-" he started and stopped, throat clicking like he was literally choking on the words. "-My name for her is Kenpachi Zaraki."

---

Mayuri Kurotsuichi: CA: 132 LA: 267 Mayuri is the only shinigami aging faster than the expected rate. This is because he escaped from Hell, and Hell would very much like to get his ass back there ASAP.

Nemuri Kurotsuichi: CA: 20 LA: 20 Nemu has been twenty for twenty years now, ever since she was pulled from the goo of her incubation tube by her father Mayuri, and will be 20 for the foreseeable future. The static lack of aging is something Mayuri hopes to fix in future drafts- Nemu is the seventh Nemuri, and the most successful one so far- She's the second Nemuri to actually make it out of her incubation tube, and the first to survive more than a year, but Nemuri Hachigo is already developing in the basement of the 12th in case something happens to her. The knowledge of her 'Little Sister' is something that brings Nemu comfort, like already knowing what you're going to be reincarnated as. "That's really fucked up." Says Uryuu Ishida in the rubble of Las Noches as she puts his intestines back inside his thorax where they belong. He's on a lot of drugs he'd like to know less about. "-It's also kind of cute. In a away. but really fucked up."

Kirio Hikifune: CA: 617 LA: 35 Kirio is one of a handful of people in on Unohana's double identity, but would NEVER betray her beloved Senpai's personal information! She served under Unohana in the fourth and developed her flesh-to-food technique with Unohana's help.

Tama Nikuya: CA: 1,477 LA: 26 Despite being the same age as Zaraki and Unohana and was aging at the same slow rate, the process that turned her into a Puca also caused her to go into bio-hell-fuckery that has effectively stopped her from aging at all. Or rather, she IS aging but every time she dies, she reappears as the LA age she was when she underwent The Flesh Change. She says the process is not infinite- she WILL eventually run out of spare lives, and if she manages to live long enough to die of old age in this body, she will NOT respawn at all. Also- it HURTS! She does die, which hurts, and comes back, which hurts EVEN MORE, and each time she comes back, she's confronted with the prospect of either outling all her friends or putting them through a similar hell to stay together. All in all, DO NOT ATTEMPT. I am speaking to you specifically, Kisuke. Akon Akon: CA: 119 LA: 27 Akon only has the one name but the archives don't like that so he uses it Twice. He was imprisoned without trial in the Maggot's nest for being part Yokai when he was a small child, and sprung to work in R&D By Mayuri shortly after Urahara's disappearence. He's friends with Yachiru and Nanao because there weren't hat many kids in the social circles of the Gotei-13's upper ranks, and all three of them shared a mutual interest in the Dinosaurs that were being discovered at the time. He's friends with Shuuhei because he was forced to take Remedial "if you work in the 12th instead of just R&D you need to actually know how to be a shinigami" classes the same year Shuuhei was accepted to the academy and they were dorm mates. Akon intermittendly draws weird one-panel cartoons for the Seireitei bulletin under a pen name, often about strange scientific jokes and on one notable occasion, bovine anthropological artifacts.

---

Jushiro Ukitake: CA: 857 LA: 44 Ukitake is genuinely unsure if, when or HOW he will die, given that he is host to a Divine Being. Once that particular cat is out of the bag, it gives him something to commiserate about with Tama. Already, Shunsui is starting to outpace his age- is he doomed to bury his friend? or will circumstance force Mimihagi to consume him entirely? Mimihagi is sympathetic- the Left Hand of God is also not sure what this fusion entails for him- it's possible that if Jushiro dies by any other means besides Mimihagi consuming him, that Mimihagi will die with him, and neither is sure what kind of impact that might have on the universe at large. Still, if it weren't for Mimihagi's intervention, Jushiro wouldn't have this time at all, and Mimihagi will never have had these experiences, so neither regrets the choice they made, regardless of how it ends.

Hachigen Ushoda: CA: 278 LA: 32. Hachigen is appearing under the 13th Division because the Kido Corps got absorbed into the 13th while he was away. Hachi consistently fools people into thinking he's way older than he actually is because he has to tailor-make all his clothes for his massive frame, so why NOT go all the way and make something Special for all this effort?

...this post is already three miles long, I'll do the Arrancar and Quincy next.

[pt2change]

human anatomy — kim seokjin

[gif source]

paring: model!seokjin x artist!y/n

genre: university au, does it count if only one is in uni, fluff, rich boy seokjin is here if you squint, typical “i bumped into you and spilled my coffee” first meeting, did i mention jin is actually a naked model

word count: 1,790

↣ bts masterlist

a/n: happy jinhomecoming!!! here’s my first jin drabble to celebrate <3

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━���⭒

you had a coffee in one hand and your sketchpad in the other as you tried to navigate your way through campus and the multiple other students.

you’re usually on time to your classes, but you accidentally overslept last night. even though you’re late, you’re also not rushing because your professor will just call you out in front of everyone!

(you really hope she won’t today)

(you can’t blame her, not really, especially when this is not the first time you show up late to class)

you reach the art building 10 minutes after the initial start of your class time and of course, it’s no surprise that your student id struggles to get read by the machine that unlocks the door.

soon enough, you’re able enter the building, speed walking your way towards the classroom.

your phone pings, reading a message jimin: where are you?, you move your fingers quickly across the screen explaining the events of this morning.

when you turn a corner suddenly, you collide with someone, and your coffee falls from your hands. it feels like it all happens in slow motion just like in the movies; the lid pops off and the coffee just goes absolutely everywhere .

“shit,” you mutter softly before speaking up, “i am so so sorry!”

you weren’t even sure what to do. it would probably be better if the ground just opened up and swallowed you whole.

you turn up to look at the person you collided with. this guy was gorgeous. like really gorgeous. his skin was golden and smooth looking, he had plump lips, and he was tall with dark hair, a few strands of hair fell over his face as he looked at you.

you can only assume he’s new to the campus, because you would’ve definitely noticed him around

you cleared your throat, “hmm, that was my breakfast.” you look back down to see the coffee has landed on this guy’s all white shoes.

the tall man chuckles, “and this seems to be my new shoe polish.” you bring your hand up to your mouth in embarrassment, “i’m really sorry. i didn’t even-“

before you can finish he cuts you off, “don’t worry, i can just get another pair. i do think i’ll have to owe you another one” he says referring to the spilled coffee cup.

you blink up at him, “is that a way of asking me to get coffee with you?”

the guy shrugs his shoulders and smirks, “depends on how you take it, i’m seokjin”

seokjin holds out his hand, and you shake your head slowly as you grab his hand, “y/n”

you smirk slightly, “and you said you owe me one, meaning you get it for me, not with me”

his hand holds onto yours a bit longer, “come on, are you so busy you can’t get one coffee with me, just one day?”

you imagine how you must look in front of him, your hair is a bit messy from sleeping through your alarm, eye bags from the constant late nights, and you’re wearing basic jeans and an oversized shirt you wear when you know you have to sit and just draw in class that day.

you cross your arms “no, i’m turning corners at the speed of light for fun and not because i’m overwhelmed with the amount of assignments i have to get completed.”

seokjin looks down at you with a cocky smirk, “so you’re admitting that this was your fault?”

you purse your lips together, “you know what? you’re 6ft body should’ve been watching where you’re going!” you breathe deeply, “also you’re making me late to class!”

you grab the strap of your bag and adjust it to a comfortable feel. and he speaks up again, “so you’ll let me make it up to you? for the coffee?”

you chuckle, “you just don’t know when to quit, huh?”

he does that stupid cocky smirk again, “no, not really.”

you remove your bag from your shoulder, digging in the pockets for a pen and piece of paper. you smile as you pull out a sticky note and quickly write down your number, you hand it to seokjin and he fiddles it between his fingers

“i’ll text you so i can owe you that coffee, y/n”

you feel your cheeks heat as you nod, “bye seokjin”

you turn around and continue towards your classroom, and you swear you could feel his eyes watching you until you turned another corner

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you shortly make it to your classroom, quietly opening the door to see wooden stands and chairs aligned in a half-circle.

your eyes scan the room frantically before landing eyes on your best friend, jimin, who waves at you to quickly get in while your professor has her back to the door.

you make it to your seat before she faces the classroom, “we have 3 full hours today, so i highly suggest you use your time wisely!”

she makes her way around the lineup of chairs, widening her eyes at some of the students.

“i expect each and everyone of you to apply the techniques we have learned so far to this project,” she clears her throat, “and as you all know, we will have a nude live model this week, so please make him feel comfortable and welcomed.”

you place your sketchpad on the stand, and open to a page, then you reach into your bag to get out some essentials, and you hear the door creak open and footsteps echo the room.

you hear your classmates clap for the model as you place your things on the edge of the stand. your relatively large sketchpad blocks you from seeing the model, but you know he’s made his way to the small platform that has a chair for the model to sit or stand in different positions.

your professor speaks up, “i’m sorry, what was your name again?”

“it’s seokjin.”

your eyes widened at the model’s response. there was no way this was the same seokjin that you had bumped into and spilled coffee all over his shoes and who you gave your number to…

and now you were going to be drawing and detailing his naked body.

you peak your head to the side, and there he is, in nothing but a white robe.

“seokjin, we’re ready whenever you are” your professor says, nodding and starts making her way to the back of the class.

your professor stops in front of you, “you need a better view y/n” she whispers, moving your stand a little to the right.

“oh, thank you” you smile at her, and now all you can think is how he’s most likely going to notice you.

you’re not sure what’s worse; him seeing you before or after he takes his robe off.

seokjin stretches a bit, cracking his knuckles and turning his head from side to side and you grab your pencil, flicking it on your thigh.

seokjin grabs the tie around his waist and just before he pulls it to loosen it, his eyes meet yours.

his eyes widened slightly and his cheeks turned a shade of pink.

seokjin looks down and chuckles to himself, shaking his head slightly. but he takes a deep breath and pulls the robe tie loose letting it fall on the platform,

seokjin gets on the platform and sits on the chair, crossing his arms and he bends one leg and sticks the other one straight out, his head is facing the right side of the classroom.

“okay, class, let’s begin!” your professor chirps from the back of the classroom and displays a timer on the projector.

you grab your pencil and begin to start outlining his proportions. you take a good look at seokjin, he’s got broad shoulders and defined abs, you also take notice in the small tattoo on the side of his waist. you also can’t help but notice the tint of pink still on his face.

there’s a big window that lets in natural sunlight so you focus on how the sun casts shadows on his nose and eyebrows and the way the light emphasizes his biceps and shoulders.

you managed to get a rough sketch down, and you tried your best to get the shape done right, erasing and re-sketching the lines and shapes that didn’t look the best.

it wasn’t long until seokjin stretched again, he stretched out his arms and slowly moved his head, his eyes searched the room until they found yours again.

his eyes stayed focused on you as he got back into position, and all you could do was smile shyly before returning your attention to the canvas.

you knew seokjin was watching you, you could feel his eyes on you as you kept sketching him.

and the next time you looked over at him, he chuckles, almost as if he wanted to laugh. you’re not sure why, but now you start to blush.

you knew you were gonna have to start sketching the rest of his body, his naked body, but just how were you gonna do it when his eyes are on you?

you take a deep breath, moving past his stomach and you begin sketching out his lower body, starting with his hips.

you could feel your cheeks heating up, and god, you hope seokjin isn’t too weirded out by this whole situation and decides to never speak to you again.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the 3 hours seem to have gone fairly quickly, and while your professor dismissed the class, seokjin grabs the robe and puts it back on. your eyes follow as he makes his way back to a little room where he can change.

you knew jimin had to head to work early today so you say goodbye and watch as he walks out of the class with majority of the students

you take your time putting your materials away, in hopes of seeing seokjin before you leave campus.

you grab your bag, and place it on your shoulder and you see seokjin coming out in his regular clothes with an embarrassed smile.

you cross your arms, “so you’re a naked model huh?”

seokjin laughs, “you think i go around telling everyone i find beautiful that i do naked modeling for college students?”

you shrug your shoulders, “so you think i’m beautiful?”

seokjin puts his hands up in defense, “you know i usually take someone out before i let them see me naked”

“well, you do still owe me that coffee, and this was my last class of the day.” you raised your eyebrows at him, seokjin just chuckles before nodding his head, and you both makes your way out of the art building

[ask-missparker]

You look just like your mother…

—

Pairing - Father & daughter - Mia & Arron

Summary: First meetings aren’t that easy…

Note: Out of the 4 father figures in her life, Arron is on the bottom of that list oops 😅 and Coulson is on the VERY top 😁

——

When she woke up, all she felt like a pounding headache near the side of her head.

It wasn’t pretty.

Last thing she remembered was fighting a set of goons and being chased out before blasted across a field. It was a blur overall.

“You gotta stop waking up in strange places after being blacked out, Mia…” She said to herself sitting on the warm bed.

These past few weeks have been nothing short of spectacular for her. A headache, literally. Getting her abilities after that accident, hiding them away from everyone around her, going on missions and being unable to control them for any kind of work related issues. Hell, according to sources she was actually useful for once.

A human life detector, they called her.

Pathokinesis. That’s what they come to call her range of symptoms. Being able to sense, manipulate and understand others emotions to her advantage.

Some would call her an empathetic woman now. Harsh truth though, but with everything that happened in recent history, she became a bit darker than her usual tone at times.

Now here she stood—sat in a room where it seemed almost impossible to believe. The room had brownish walls and a red accent wall, but the doorway had a bright white outline that led to a set of greenery just outside. The sun peaked through the windows as well.

Where am I? She wondered, looking over her shoulder to a small nightstand that held her hands. Gun, rings, bracelets, and her phone. She looked down realizing she was in lighter clothes, not her usual fashion of black pants and brown shirts. Nor her red sneakers. She was in gray socks.

“You look just like your mother…” said a male griff voice that held a smile to his tone.

In came a tall man in a black jacket, gray t-shirt, jeans and boots. His hair was overcast with the sunlight of the morning sky, to his dark hair looked a shade lighter. His eyes were dark brown but his smile never faltered as he entered.

Mia quickly reached for her gun and raised it toward the man in front of her. She glared, sitting up and sliding down the bed to stand up.

“Okay, wacko. Who are you? And how do you know my mother?” She quipped softly, as she asked him.

He held up his hand in defense and shook his head, “I should’ve said a different sentence, huh? I see my reputation paid for no expense. Good. Please, put the gun down, I just want to talk.”

“Not happening. Start talking, name now.” She replied rapidly.

“Fine. Arron Morse. But my line of work has called me…”

“The Hornet…”

“Ah, so you heard of me?”

“They said you died. But you had a skilled shooting range, take out the target, in and out from afar.”

Arron Morse. Bobbi Morse oldest brother to date. In the spy world, he was a skilled sniper and interrogator. Often going on trips to help others seek refuge, take down drug cartels and other illegal weapons with his crew. Sometimes he would collect and destroy information when needed. Depending upon what the job needed him to do.

Despite his tough exterior and issues of sometimes challenging or abandoning others, for reasons he can only describe himself. He was a decent player in the field and cared for others. But he never really stuck around, not wanting to drag others into his life and limit himself to just his best interests.

Or that’s at least what she was told.

All Arron saw in front of him was the little girl he seen from afar years ago. The daughter he never knew existed or claimed to say he knew. He watched for a long period of time before settling down to speaking again.

But his daughter was beautiful.

“Look, kid, I am not going to sugar coat this. You were on the fence and got hurt, so one of the guys here brought you in.’ He said simply.

“I am fine.” She said softly despite, her slight discomfort on her hip and shoulders from the fall.

“How about this? You go ahead with your ideas and i do mine. I just want to talk.”

“Again, not gonna sugarcoat this, angel. But we’re family.”

“One of Bobbi’s brothers?..my father?”

“Correct.”

“I’m not going here for a family reunion, dad. I got one—had one, depending on who you ask. Why are you here? How are you still alive?”

“I don’t need to explain everything to do. But long story short, after a mission gone south in the Pacific, I realized what I was really doing wrong on that trip and couldn’t make it. So I did not complete my assignment, instead I went undercover and took the dive into other things—work. I did not want to be involved in SHIELD anymore.” He told her.

She nodded, “As for Bobbi, me and mom?”

“Bobbi was better off without me and we barely had a good relationship over the years, I knew she was better off doing her own thing. As for mother…we were were in a rocky patch and when I returned a year later, she was with someone else…she moved on. Besides, me and May were never gonna work out.”

“Mom always did say, you never find your father..your father is the one to find you.”

“We were young, and whatever happened was in the past—”

“Did you know about me? Hmm? What about me?”

Arron sighed deeply, “…yeah, I figured out about you. It doesn’t take an idiot to notice that you’re their kid. Before you ask, I didn’t exactly stayed away and abandoned your mom. I just knew she wouldn’t want me around again after I left.”

“You’re rather open about this, more or less…” Mia said bluntly as she listened, slowly lowering her weapon slightly.

“Let’s just say I had time to think about it over the last couple of years. And I understand if you want to shoot me, I would.”

That caused a small scoff to escape Mia’s lip as a half smile appeared on her face. Arron gave her a half smile in return, still annoyed that she held the gun and he knew she wasn’t going to accept him that easily. He wasn’t exactly asking for acceptance or forgiveness of any kind.

“You didn’t think of trying to contact me?” She asked still holding her gun.

Arron shook his head, “No.”

“I would have at least liked to know…”

“That your daddy wasn’t dead? That your daddy wasted his time doing things instead of being there for his daughter? I can go all night!”

“I deserve a chance to know! Bobbi barely talked about you! I—”

“No, you did not! You had no right to be near me, I killed men and traveled a lot. I am not the father you wanted to bring to show and tell. I did the right thing here by staying away.”

Suddenly Mia’s powers went online. Her eyes flickered caching onto as many emotions coursing through Arron’s mind then gasped looking away, almost trembling the gun out of her hands.

She understood, or least she thought she did, onto why he did it. She didn’t need explanation for the rest.

“You have abilities too..you barely use them, one of the reasons why your were so good at your job…and you fell in love years ago..that’s how you ended up here…that’s where I am?” She mumbled in a sharp sigh and grasping all the feelings and throughts she could.

Arron was impressed by her ability to grasp it all and slowly nodded, “How did you know about the woman part?”

“I never said woman…but a man like you doesn’t end up in a pretty position like this, unless some woman came into his path.” She said, slight snark.

He smirked, “Clever girl.”

Amelia nodded and looked around, “Look I don’t need to know who she is or anything. I just need to get out of here and call Coulson.”

“Where do you think you’re going? You’re injured and here for a reason.”

“Look, Arron, dad, whatever, thanks for the save but I will be getting on your way. Bye.”

Mia did a peace sign with her fingers walking around before stumbling and almost falling down on the floor. Luckily Arron caught her bed she can hit the wooden floor and gently place her on the bed.

She was stubborn, understanding on what he did and whatnot, but she wasn’t going to stay in some unknown place with her newly found father.

She had Ben Parker, her dad who passed away and currently, as of right now, she had Phil Coulson and her friends.

In her eyes, Phil cares for her more than Arron did. He actually went out and bought her into a new place to live out doing something she wanted.

“Mia.” He started

“Amelia.” She corrected him, apologizing for her harsh tone.

“Amelia, kid, look, I am only trying to help you and your friend Skye here.”

“Skye? How do..?”

“She was brought in as well, she’s okay. She’s off doing something now. Try and give me a chance.”

“Why should I? I am not staying long. I don’t even know where I am exactly…”

Arron sighed, she was stubborn enough to give him attitude but he couldn’t blame her for it. Nor was he gonna stand out easily.

“I’ll give you an answer then. This place is called Afterlife, in Nepal.” He said simply, “The leader here name is Jiaying. She is a fellow Inhuman, or as some would call them, mutants.”

Mia nodded, “…she is the woman you love..?”

“I…yes. I care for her. It’s a long story.”

“Arron Morse fell in love with a woman named Jiaying..?”

Mia knew she getting on his nerves but she just needed to repeat it out loud and put it all together, to understand where she is.

“Sorry..” She mumbled and gestured for him to continue.

He nodded, “Yeah, so…it’s a lot to explain and I will do that later. But angel, I need you to understand that I am here to do a job and you stumble upon my path here today…can you do me one favor?”

“Depends, what is it?”

“Try and let me get to know you. Then you can be on your merry way and we never have to see each other again?”

“…sure, why not? But I’m not exactly calling you dad.”

~~~

That’s all folks! I know it’s kinda all over the place. But I hope you like it.

Gonna change her father’s powers 🤔 any ideas let me know

Fun Fact! Jeremy’s FC is in this episode too 😉 along with a few other things

- @gcthvile @meiramel l l @aidanxsophxoxo @blueboirick @wizzzardofoz z z @finlayholmes @ethan-lensherr @elzabeth-stark k @marvelsfavoriteuncle @sci-fi-lexcon @ask-starrk @therealdaydreamstark @luna-d-marsh @rickb-chaos @the-x-ladiesofnyc @trulysummersprivate @missstrawbs2001 @purpleprincessonfyre

[cheezbites]

Hi can you do a Chris McLean x Short!Reader?

Chris McLean x Short Reader

✎: MY FIRST EVER REQUEST I’M SO GEEKED RN. Thank you guys, keep these requests coming!! 💓🥲

♡Summary: Chris McLean dating someone short.

Bf!Chris always attended press conferences and award ceremonies where crowds towered over you, which was nothing new. He insisted on guiding you through the hordes of people with his hand on your shoulder or waist.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

"What, is that Ruby Rosewood?" someone in the crowd exclaimed.

"Wait, where is she? Chris, lead us to her. Oh my god, I need to see her," you held onto his guiding hand resting on your shoulder.

He acted like a GPS tracker, swiftly locating her, and you enjoyed a short and sweet conversation with one of your idols.

Bf!Chris appreciates your shorter figure. Despite his past relationships with taller women, often models who added onto their height with expensive heels, your height, ranging from 5'0 to 5'4, actually makes him appear much taller when photographed or standing together. How could he not love that?

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

The event was busting with activity; flashing cameras, chattering voices, and a sea of well-dressed attendees. Chris, dressed in his tuxedo with a charming smile, navigated through the elegant crowd.

You, stood by his side, unbeknownst to the unique effect your presence had on Chris. He couldn't help but beam with pride as photographers captured the two of you together. You had a way of making him appear even more tall in comparison to you.

As you mingled with the guests, you picked up on a hushed whisper across the room, "Isn't that Chris? who's the lady with him?"

A nearby couple overheard and joined in, "That's his girlfriend, the one who makes him look even more impressive."

Chris, overhearing the conversation, couldn't help but chuckle.

Bf!Chris hired security guards for you with his immense budget, they followed you around everywhere. Even at times when it seemed a bit redundant.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Your chauffeur was driving you around the city as the security guards were sitting around in their own seats, making small talk with one another. You were texting Chris on your way to run errands:

“You sure I need the guards to go shopping for groceries?”

“Yes. Anything can happen, remember what happened on the news?” he replied shortly after seeing your message, you chuckled at his response. Chris was a bit paranoid at times, but maybe it was for the best.

Bf!Chris had to lean over to kiss you, which was one of his favourite aspects of the kiss.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Chris leaned over to meet your lips, and that simple act added an extra layer of sweetness to the moment. It was one of his favorite things about your kisses – the way he had to lean in to reach you.

As your lips met, you both felt the electric connection that never decayed. In that tender embrace, you shared a kiss that spoke volumes without words, reaffirming your love in the most beautiful way.

Bf!Chris was your weighted blanket at times; instead of you cuddling up to him it would be the opposite. He wouldn’t put his full weight on you; but enough for you both to be comfy.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

A cozy blanket draped over you as you both lounged on the couch. Chris had a mischievous glint in his eye. He shifted his position slightly, and before you knew it, he was gently draping himself over you, like a living weighted blanket.

You giggled at the unexpected move, making him grin down at you, his arms propped up, supporting his weight just enough to make you both feel snug and comfortable. You settled into the embrace, feeling the warmth and security of his presence.

Bf!Chris is the human trash can of the relationship. If you both went out to eat, he finished your leftovers you couldn’t finish.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

You sat in a cozy corner of your favorite restaurant, savoring a delicious meal with Chris. The plates were stacked with delectable food, but as always, your eyes were bigger than your stomach.

Chris, on the other hand, seemed to have an appetite when it came to your leftovers. With a playful smile, you pushed your plate toward him, knowing he'd happily accept the offer.

He chuckled between mouthfuls, "Someone's got to make sure nothing goes to waste,"

As you continued to eat together, you couldn't help but appreciate how Chris's appetite perfectly complimented your tendency to order more than you could finish. It was just one of the many ways your relationship seemed to fit together seamlessly, like a jigsaw puzzle.

Bf!Chris often gave you piggyback rides at concerts, convinced that you'd struggle to see anything. You didn't mind at all, secretly enjoying the elevated view for your Instagram story. After all, it was a win-win – a better view and a cute moment to share with your followers.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

The concert’s music thumped through the air as the crowd around you jumped and swayed to the beat. Chris, always attentive to your needs, leaned down with a grin.

"You ready?"

You reached for your phone and nodded, "Absolutely!"

Without hesitation, Chris knelt down, and you hopped onto his back. He effortlessly lifted you, and you clung onto him as he stood up, your legs wrapping around his waist.

The stage came into view, the lights and the artist gracefully performed around you.

You couldn't help capturing the moment. You snapped an Instagram story, the music pulsing in the background, while the crowd's energy surged around you. You couldn't resist but to feel grateful for Chris's thoughtfulness and the incredible view he provided, both in real life and on social media.

Bf!Chris took notice of your affinity for high-heels. Either in your online cart or when you’re window shopping, you were undoubtably drawn to them. It wasn't solely because of your height, although that might have played a role in your heel obsession. You simply loved the feeling they gave you – They were so simple yet so feminine. So expensive, too.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

"Close your eyes, love," he cooed playfully.

Curiosity piqued, but you complied, covering your eyes with both hands. You could hear him moving about the room, and a sense of anticipation built within you.

"Okay, you can open them now,"

As you removed your hands, you were met with the sight of a beautifully wrapped box with the ANAPHORA etched onto its elegant surface. Excitement and surprise washed over you as you carefully unwrapped the gift. Inside, you discovered a pair of exquisite high heels, the same pair that’s been sitting in your online cart for a few months now.

"Oh my God... Chris, you didn't have to!" you exclaimed, your eyes sparkling with gratitude.

Chris grinned and replied, "Well, now you don't have to tip-toe as much," he teased, alluding to the times he had to adjust his height difference with you.

Bf!Chris noticed you taking his over sized t-shirts from his cupboard, he was used to your thief antics and so he let it slide. But on your figure, they looked like flowy dresses.

Bf!Chris loved when you asked him to get something out of your reach for you, it made him feel useful in a way.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

You stood in the kitchen, eyeing a high shelf where your favourite cookbook was. The shelf was just out of your reach, and you knew exactly what to do. With a playful grin, you turned to Chris,

"Babe, could you do me a favor?" you asked, your tone sweet and soft.

He looked at you with a quirked eyebrow, a smile playing at his lips. "Of course, what do you need?"

You gestured to the cookbook on the shelf. "Could you grab that for me, please?"

His smile widened, and he sauntered over to the shelf, breezily retrieving the cookbook. As he handed it to you, he couldn't hide his sense of fulfillment. "Here, anything else?"

You chuckled, touched by his eagerness to help. "No, that's perfect, thank you."

A/N: Thank you so much (again) for requesting!!! This was very fun to write <3

Masterlist

[ceapa-mica]

Family Life: Teenage Years 💎 - a Thrawn headcanon

I promised you one last Family Life headcanon, and here it is! 🥹 Wow I'm actually emotional sharing the final piece of my Family Life collection with you guys.

Enjoy!

This one is SFW

Reader's gender is not mentioned.

Taglist: @bingbongooo @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @ele-millennial-weirdo @enaelyork @jesslove23 @thrawnalani @thrawnsboots @twincesskorisoka @davesrightshoe @shoe-bag @blackddarling @obbicrystaleo

You are finally back in your Galaxy. Your marriage is going well and your daughter is reaching a new stage in her life. You and Thrawn thought you were prepared for when your daughter hits puberty, but oh boy were you wrong.

Once puberty hits your daughter, you realize even Chiss hybrids can get acne. Safe to say she's not amused and starts putting on makeup.

Your daughter has a vast knowledge for her age, that includes female anatomy as well. She doesn’t panic when she gets her first period. She has to get used to the cramps though. You and Thrawn make sure she's as comfortable as possible.

Thrawn is surprised at your daughter’s mood swings. Chiss are not big in showing their emotions. That's where her human side is clearly dominant. Her mood swings actually lead to occasional arguments between her and her father.

She grows into a beautiful young woman. She's tall for her age and you reminisce about the days she fit into your arms. You can't believe how quickly time has passed. You enjoy watching holovids of her early childhood days.

Since you're not able to send your daughter to a renowned school of the New Republic for obvious reasons, she continues her holonet classes and has no trouble catching up. You and Thrawn did a good job teaching her during your exile.

Your daughter’s love for collecting fossils remains. She plans on studying paleontology when she's old enough.

She experiments with her clothing and makeup a lot. For a period of time she wears revealing clothing to test the boundaries. Oh and Thrawn does set boundaries! He's displeased seeing his daughter dress like that. More arguments ensue when he sends back revealing clothing she ordered. She settles for a look that pronounces her body shape without being too revealing.

During one of her mood swings she tells Thrawn she wishes he would not be a Grand Admiral so she could dress the way she likes.

These two argue quite a lot during her puberty. You figure it's because on one hand she shares certain personality traits with her father, on the other she is more like a human teenager, and Thrawn doesn't understand why human teenagers act the way they do.

During exile she has never been around boys her age. Through her holonet classes she develops a crush on one of her classmates. She tries to keep it a secret, but you catch her holocalling him more than once.

Thrawn is busy being a Grand Admiral, so he doesn’t know the actual reason for the good mood his daughter is in lately. You sit down on the sofa together after a long day once your daughter is asleep. Thrawn is surprised at the news at first, then his look turns calculating, like it always does when dealing with a new adversary. He's not pleased. His little girl having a crush? On a boy? His protective instincts kick in, but you tell him not to be too strict and that a first love is just part of growing up.

Thrawn is his usual straightforward self when he talks to your daughter about it. It's also a bit of an awkward conversation for him to have, so you help him out. She only meets her crush through holocalls, but still, you remind her of the importance of safe sex and that taking nudes are a no-no. Your daughter blushes when you mention it. Thrawn changes the topic and asks her a lot of questions about her crush. He wants to know who he's dealing with.

At one point our daughter adds blue highlights to her hair. The hairdye compliments the blue hue of her skin. Thrawn thinks her hair looks like art - he loves it.

She officially gets her speeder and spaceship licenses on a backwater planet close to Wild Space you're briefly visiting. You and Thrawn buy her a small starfighter for her sweet 16th.

With that she visits planets you have designated as safe. That's where she meets her crush for the first time in person. They eventually become a couple, much to Thrawn's dismay.

You and your husband are worried about her space traveling. She's a rare Chiss-Human hybrid. You are worried slavers out for rare species might cross her path. She knows how to fight, but a gang of slavers would be too much for her to take on alone.

Fortunately that never happens. She explores the safe planets with ever so curious eyes. She also attends paleontology missions. Thrawn actually pays a lot of credits so she may attend. He is proud of his daughter and the way she sees beauty in those fossils. It reminds him of his own passion for art.

Thrawn is glad she chose not to serve the Imperial remnants. While his duty is to the Empire and the Ascendency, he's happy to see his daughter choosing a different path in life.

If anything saddens him, it's that she has never in her life been able to visit the Chiss Ascendency. She still loves the stories of their people after all those years.

When her first heartbreak happens, Thrawn is ready to get this boy thrown into a cell. Your daughter has to beg him not to confront this boy and to stay out of her love life.

She applies to several colleges to study paleontology. She puts so much effort into her work, she's really passionate about it.

The day she's leaving for university is very emotional. You can't believe she's old enough now to leave the nest. You know Thrawn is emotional about it too, he just doesn’t show it. All he shows is pride. The goodbye hug makes you cry, and you see a glimpse of raw emotion in Thrawn's eyes when he hugs her one last time before she climbs into her starfighter.

When the starfighter leaves the hangar, Thrawn puts an arm around your waist. You watch together as your little girl’s ship gets smaller and smaller in the distance and eventually disappears with a jump into hyperspace.

You did it. You raised a beautiful young woman with the strength and confidence only a Chiss can have. You gave her all your love unconditionally through the ups and downs of your family life. Even though you no longer live together, she's close to you in your hearts.

Where there used to be the sound of a child’s laugh, or loud music coming from the bedroom, there is now a strange silence that has taken its place - a silence you and your husband both have to get used to.

That's it, that was my Family Life series. I hope you enjoyed it!

Dw I will continue to write Thrawn headcanons in the future, I'm not going anywhere. 💙

[glitched-username]

★heyllooo-★

★..sooo, erm, based on your latest post regarding concepts with rottmnt g/t and stuff, a little concept has been spiraling around in my head based on - these parts of your rambles★ :

★And this- has got me thinkinggg.. what if everyone who got mutated into an animal of some sorts just, as you said, let's the size take priority ?? Now this could go both ways, like- a person, depending on the species that they turn into after getting bitten by an oozequito (how is it spelled, help) has the misfortune of forming onto said size★

★Im, gonna give some very specific examples here★ :

|⭐| For instance, if a person transforms into some sort of a bug, it is safe to say that their size would reduce to just a couple of inches tall, maybe even smaller than that.

|⭐| They get turned into a bunny ?? Then their new found size should be about 10-20 inches tall-..I think- I dunno, (by the way, the smallest species of a rabbit is called a pygmy bunny and they can reach up to only 12 inches tall.. I think-)

|⭐| They happen to be close to an orca during the process of their mutation ?? They might just reach a length of 5.5 to 9.8 meters .. pretty big.

★You get the idea- well, you pretty much formed it.. Unlessss, the sizey thing was just a hiccup that occured because the mutant-gen was still in testing and stuff- ?? (or is it empyrean ?? Fuck I gotta go to the turtle-pedia- ) ★

★either way, it would make for a pretty cool, ermm, concept to add to the 'ROTTMNT' universe- !!★

★..(and imagine the tons of g/t content we could feast on (⁠☆‹ ☆⁠) !!)★

★yeah ermm, your rambling is quite cool by the way anddd, (I hope that..i dunno, you meet a giant in real life that just so happens to be like rise!raph)★

Oh, Draxum 100% would not have wanted the animal height to take priority, he just didn't think of the way heights would be affected with the mutation. Many dangerous/strong animals are actually much smaller than humans (wolves, spiders, monkeys, etc.) so he would be more interested in trying to find a way to prioritize the human height to a certain point. Super dumb way I could phrase it but, it'd kinda be like

if(HumanHeight > AnimalHeight){

HumanHeight = Height;

}

else{

AnimalHeight = Height;

}

idk if that makes sense but that's how I view it (can you tell I'm a fucking donnie kinnie lmao). And this is also my excuse so that the other mutants that appear in the show are still their OG sizes instead of getting to the heights of crabs and pigs. Would also make it funnier when the rogues gallery are giants compared to the turtles and yet the turtles still manage to kick ass.

Honestly Draxum would only recognize the boys as his creations by their height and is just like "well, they still have lou jistu DNA and survived THIS long... maybe I can still work with this?"

Anyway currently writing some stuff based on this au and I'm starting with the first meeting with April, which if you read my thoughts on how that would go... teehee

And Imma be real, I'm projecting hard when I write about giant raph stuff, because I would love to have that mystic power. idk who assembled my tiny 5 foot 2 self in the factory but I am ridiculously giant coded lmao. I would lose my mind immediately if I got some borrower friends. I even got a tiny handheld robot guy that I love because he's a tiny robot friend :))

[aurelim]

Anthony/Anne Maddox

The Captain

❝There is so much to show you guys! The human world is so vastly different than this...wherever we are.❞ ❝I don't think I would have met any human who could compare to you. I'm so lucky to have met you.❞

Age: Three years older than MC

Race: Human

Gender: Male or female, depending on player choice

Pronouns: He/him or she/her, depending on player choice

Physical Appearance: Maddox has tanned skin thanks to living by the sea their entire life. They have golden shoulder-length hair and piercing blue eyes. Will always be six feet tall flat out no matter if Maddox is male or female. Perhaps the most recognizable feature of theirs is their navy blue coat with gold linings. If you were to imagine an average sailor, Maddox would look like one.

Trope(s): Forbidden love, fish out of water, first true love, [REDACTED]

You had never expected a human to be saved during a hunt, but it was certainly surprising when you discovered that it was A of all people. A disgraced but still well-liked captain, Maddox once claimed that mermaids existed; however, without anything but their words, many did not believe them. This led them to being ostracized and spurred them to spontaneously invite others to prove it. But was it worth it if everything but them was destroyed? Was it worth it just to get a glimpse of you?

A would be nothing without their charm and confidence. You also find that they are incredibly cocky and flirty, especially when they have gotten a few drinks. There is something about them that exudes adventure, which is very true since they loved traveling around on their ship. Free-spirited and unable to stay still for more than a few minutes, A is independent as they were forced to look out for themself at a young age.

They never show fear in front of others. Perhaps it can be read in their eyes, but they are quick to hide it from their tone and expression. A must remain calm when others lose their cool, acting as an anchor in a chaotic storm.

For someone who lost everything thanks to your family, the captain appears to hold no grudge against you. They treat you as if you were one of their kind, disregarding that you can kill them at any moment. Though there are times when they go quiet, eyes far away and mind distracted. Something pulls down their conscious, preventing you from getting to know the real Maddox.

They grew up with a single parent who was rarely there for them. A had to grow up by themself and discovered their love for ships when they were fifteen years old. Since then, they worked hard to save up for a ship and bought the Odyssey with their earnings. Maddox does not have a crew to help them, but they like to refer to themself as a captain regardless. They believe they earned it. Especially when they are sailing for jobs and manning everything by themself.

You have a feeling you were destined to meet them no matter the circumstance. Like a magnetic pull bringing you two together...

Fun Facts About Maddox:

Might become a friends-with-benefits route. It has not been fully fleshed out yet, but Maddox will definitely not be thinking about falling in love with someone. They are so used with having one-night-stands that establishing an actual relationship has never occurred to them. Maybe they have come close in the past, but it never reached that point

Has an (affectionate) nickname for MC and K individually :)

Would call MC that nickname and another one if you decide to romance them

Has gained a semi-tolerance to alcohol, but they get drunk fairly easily anyway

Honestly thought about basing them on Prince Eric, but I kind of based Maddox on Oisein from The Nameless by Parker Lyn; it's a good game and Oisein is so pretty that I couldn't help myself (sorry about that)

Would honestly love to become a Merfolk. Or if not a Merfolk, then a sea creature like a whale or dolphin

Has met the Royal before, though they did not realize it as said person was under disguise. A took them out to drinks and they somehow made it back to their respective homes without throwing up in an undisclosed location. The Royal does not remember it but A does

When it comes to jobs, they will take it if the job has high rewards. Maddox would take any they can get, but if they are given multiple and had to choose one, they would choose the one with the most rewards. It's the better choice for them financially

Loves sparring. They learned how to use a sword when they were twelve, and they are very experienced with a rapier. Maddox is very deadly with one, especially when parrying

That rapier is attached to their hip, easy to sheath out quickly

Scary fast swimmer

Kind of likes to read?? Like they would carry around a book in their inner pocket but they only read if they have the free time to

The book is usually tips on how to manage a ship and romance

It was not a coincidence you met Maddox. Things happen for a reason, but you may never get to figure out the reason why. Was this for story purposes? Or something more?

[theresnoturningback]

Year One - Friday - JojaCola

A/N: So I finally made some time to upload this chapter. I am very excited about this one because I could finally start playing with the ASS trio dinamic. Also I could write with Sam, who I find completely adorable. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I always try to make them short so it's an easy read. Please, please, if you do like it, consider reblogging it. This is just a hobby of mine, I don't take it very seriously but seeing some validation would do wonders for my self-esteem.

Word Count: 1374

Dahlia had been counting seconds for the weekend to come. Every day she thought about Abigail’s invitation to hang out with her and her friends. The thought of that moment gave her the motivation she needed to do her chores. She hesitated before the entrance to the Stardrop Saloon and made sure she was decent enough to present herself to society. She was usually very confident about her looks, but she hadn’t been the new girl in a long time. She inhaled and exhaled to let go of her apprehensions. When she was about to step in, a tall figure opened the door for her.

“Please, after you” A grinning blonde man winked at her.

“My, what a gentleman, thanks” She chuckled after she could compose herself from that first impression.

Once she entered the saloon, the young man that let her in nodded his head as he walked past her, leading her to a comfortable room beyond the booths.

“Aw…You guys met already?” Abigail jumped from the sofa to greet them

“Met who?” Dahlia blinked

“We haven’t met properly, Abby. We just ran into each other outside; I figured it was the new farmer you talked about” The blond guy explained.

“Uh… I’m still lost” Dahlia sighed

“I’m Sam. Good to meet you”

“Dahlia” She shook his hand, smiling along. He had a very contagious smile.

“Hey, you just moved in, right?” A man slightly taller than Abigail asked before walking closer to the group

“Yeah, just this week, actually”

“Cool…and out of all the places you chose Pelican Town?” The judgmental tone in his observation made her raise her eyebrows

“I guess it wasn’t much of a choice” She shrugged “I had nowhere else to go, what’s your excuse?”

“C’mon, Dahlia… you make it sound like you’re escaping your impending doom…” Abigail laughed “Please, excuse our friend Sebby, he comes off as rude at first, but he’s adorable once you get to know him”

“Can you not call me that in here?” Sebastian nudged Abigail while Sam laughed. Once more, Dahlia found herself laughing with him. Their eyes met, making her blush for a second. She looked down at her shoes and around the room.

“No way, you guys have Joja Cola in here? Sweet” She ran to a vending machine by the arcade games

Sebastian rolled his eyes and sat back down on the couch

“You really like that stuff?” Abigail grimaced

“Leave her, she has great taste” Sam leaned on Abigail’s shoulder

“I got addicted to these when I started working at JojaCorp. You’d think they would have other options in the building. In that floor it was just us and a bunch of JojaCola vending machines”

“You worked for JojaCorp?” Abigail crossed her arms, making Sam lose balance.

Dahlia nodded.

“Same here” he said

“You have a part-time job at the local JojaMart, Sam, it’s not the same” Sebastian argued

“Still, it’s the same evil mega-corporation”

“I hated every second of it. That’s why I moved here. I just couldn’t take it anymore, but I’d trade the farm in a heartbeat for a sip of JojaCola” Dahlia reached for her pocket to take out some coins for the machine “Anyone want one?”

“Yuck” Abigail sat down next to Sebastian

“I’d like one” Sam raised his hand

“Of course you would, you human trash can” Sebastian laughed

Dahlia bought two cans and gave one to Sam

“Thanks, I promise I’ll pay it back” he said, slightly touching her fingers as she passed him the can

“You don’t have to, it’s my pleasure” She winked

“Hey, you two” Abigail called “If you’re done eye-fucking, come sit with us”

“So, how do you like the Valley so far?” Sebastian asked Dahlia as she and Sam sat next to each other on a red couch

“It’s calm, I like that. I wanted to be as far away from the city as possible and my grandpa left me his farm. I don’t know the first thing about farming besides what I’ve learned when I started growing pot in my apartment” She laughed “But I’m sure I’ll learn in no time”

“Do you plan on growing weed in your farm?” He leaned forward

“You bet those were the first seeds I bought before moving the city. They’re already in the soil. I’ll let you know when they’re ready to harvest”

“Neat” Sebastian gave her an approving nod.

“I told you she was cool” Abigail nudged Sebastian.

“Ouch, Abby, not so hard!” He narrowed his eyes at her “Control your strength, woman”

Sam cleared his throat after a sip of his cola and turned to his new friend

“Say Dalhia, do you play pool?”

She glanced at the green table and nodded with confidence

“Do you guys gamble?” She asked

The three of them shook their heads.

“I told you she was too cool for us” Sebastian whispered to Abigail

“Maybe a quick game?” Sam insisted

“Sure, let’s sink some balls” Dahlia said excitedly before finishing her cola

The group stood up and started a quick game of cutthroat pool. Dahlia sank her rival’s balls in less than fifteen minutes.

“Well, it’s a good thing you don’t gamble. Stay in school” She laughed once she sank Sebastian’s last ball.

“Wow, you have to teach me how to do that” Abigail took Dahlia’s hands “Pretty please?” She insisted jumping up and down in place

“I will, but maybe some other time? I must wake up early tomorrow” She promised

“Wait, you’re going home already? Let me walk you home” Sam offered hastily

“I don’t know Sam, it’s a rather long walk, are you sure you can handle it?”

“Just go” Sebastian and Abigail said in unison

“Bye, Abby! It was nice meeting you, Sebby” Dahlia giggled. He immediately glared at Abigail

Sam and Dahlia left the Saloon and started walking together until the silence started to feel awkward.

“What…? Don’t tell me you turn shy when your friends aren’t around” Dahlia looked up at him, giggling. He had a serious expression on his face.

“I’m sorry, I was just thinking…”

“About what?”

“You know when you have so many thoughts in your head you can’t focus on a single one?”

“Oh”

“I was actually trying to remember if the girl that used to come during the summer and play with us really was you or someone else”

“I spent a couple of summers here when I was little” She nodded “Now I remember you”

“So, it was you!” Sam laughed “You used to be taller than me, what happened to you?”

“You were shorter because you’re younger than me, that’s all”

“What? No…” He frowned “I remember Abby and Seb were 5 and I was 6…How old were you then? You couldn’t be much older than that”

“I was 9. I’m turning 26 in a couple of weeks”

“Huh, time flies…”

“It sure does”

They continued walking a little slower

“You stopped coming that summer, Abby and I missed you the following year”

“My dad had just died, and my mom took me to another city, far away from here” Dahlia shrugged

“I’m sorry to hear that”

“It’s okay…it’s been a long time” She looked around, smiling “I missed this place, too”

“You know... I used to live in the city, and I have to admit, this place is much nicer in the summer. The city is so hot with all that concrete”

“I can get used to this” She caught him glancing at her and they let out a small laugh “I mean, I’m so done with the city. I just wanted to start a new life in here”

“If you need help with anything, we’re friends now”

“Thank you” She tried to focus on her own shoes as she walked to avoid that smile she was starting to find too adorable to ignore

“This is your place?” Sam asked when they got to the end of the trail

“Yeah, this is me” She turned to him and stood on her toes to give him a small peck on his cheek “Thank you for the walk down memory lane”

Dahlia ran back to her house, leaving Sam standing without a single thought left in his mind.

[killthemwithdoodles]

TMNTober Days 1&2

Mutant and Human

“Wait, you aren’t just bald turtle yokai?”

April sighed, reaching over to smack Casey in the back of the head, “Of course not! Have you ever even met a kappa?”

Casey shook his head, “No! My pops hates yokai so I don’t exactly get a lot of chance to meet them.”

Raph snorted, “Great. A human with the IQ of April’s bat. Nice one to bring into our secret home, guys!”

Donnie rolled his eyes, “Don’t be rude. Casey saw April in trouble and jumped in to fight off a couple Foot ninjas and even managed to hold his own against them. His technique is brutal and inefficient, but I think he’d make a good addition to the team.”

Raph and Leo looked the boy over. He was messy, with a nose that had clearly been broken at least once before and greasy hair that was outgrowing its black dye. He had a hockey stick in hand and a pair of skates tied to his backpack. He wore a leather jacket covered in stains and patches that matched the rest of his battered and patchy clothes.

“What?” Casey frowned at the scrutiny, “You think I can’t keep up with you? Casey Jones can take anyone!”

Raph grinned, “I like that idea.” He wheeled himself over, “Fight me, Jones. We’ll see how you do and that can decide it.”

Casey immediately wilted, clearly taken aback by the guy in a wheelchair challenging him to a fight.

“I… uh…” He winced, “Are you…?”

Raph just smirked and turned away, wheeling away towards the dojo.

April sighed, clapping Casey on the arm, “Well, you’re doomed.” She tutted and walked off, “I’ll tell your sister you died like a hero.”

Casey was pleasantly surprised to see the turtles had made something akin to a dojo in one of the rooms of their lair. It was well lit and had one of those big Japanese mat things across the floor. There were some seats on the side, some weights and workout equipment pushed away, plus a couple of pretty bad-off punching bags with stitched together puncture marks.

All in all? A pretty badass space for fighting.

Leo and Donnie both offered him luck, which was concerning, and April threw a water bottle at his head, which he caught with just a little fumbling.

“Why am I fighting the disabled brother?” He asked, slipping off his jacket, “Like, I ain’t, uh, abled-phobic or anything, but man’s in an actual wheelchair.”

Donnie scoffed, “Jones, Raphael is the most skilled fighter of all of us. His legs are more lethal than any sword.” He smirked and pulled out his phone, “Short answer: get recked human boy.”

“Donnie, don’t antagonize my opponent.” Raph’s voice came through and Casey turned to look, stunned to see him standing, wearing a pair of leg braces that were stark white and covered in stickers.

“Oh shit.”

He was tall. Like, damn tall. Suddenly the little lip on his beak looked terrifying, especially in front of such an intimidating grin.

“That’s my job.” Raph smirked, tossing his sai aside.

The first fight was short. The second was longer, with Casey less stunned by the fact that Raph was not just capable- but skilled. They tussled for a while before Raph pinned him again in a headlock with Casey’s legs trapped under his.

The third was even better.

Raph went for Casey’s legs first, going for a swift knockout, but Casey jumped at the right moment and managed to get his knee right in Raph’s chin. They danced around each other for a while, trading blows while the trio on the side cheered, before Casey went for another hard hit.

Raph dropped, the punch whiffing over his head as he fell dead-drop into a split and swept his legs, slamming his fin hard into Casey’s knees and pulling him down. They wrestled on the floor for a couple moments, but Raph still won out in the end.

They got to their feet, both panting (though Casey far more than Raph).

“Alright, he can stay.” Raph finally decided, and the other three erupted into cheers.

“Hell yeah!”

“Casey! You did it!”

“Whoo hoo and all that.”

He ignored Donnie.

Raph clapped Casey on the shoulder, grinning, “Good fight, Jones. You got style.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.” He teased back, slugging Raph’s arm, “Pretty tough.”

“Never underestimate your opponent and all that.” Raph wrapped an arm over Casey’s shoulders, grinning wide.

Casey looked up at him, at his dark brown eyes. Dark scales poked out from underneath his red mask, the same kind of scales that ran over his exposed shoulders, tough but smooth.

His gaze trailed down just slightly, to watch Raphael’s lips as they called to April, thanking her for finding him a new sparring partner.

Raph looked down at him, a wild kind of happiness in his face, and Casey had to quickly laugh it off.

Oh no.

Oh fuck.

Oh no.

[aarrraaaavvvvv]

Well, it's 4:48 am, Ive written like half of the story. I came up with the idea of the story just coz I was horny and imagining stuff but as I started writing it, it ended up becoming much more than a sex story. I haven't started writing the sex part yet, so I decided to just end this part, like it does and the people who are interested in just the sex part can go to the next part.

And if you're actually interested to read this story, go ahead you cute little human....OH BY THE WAY, this is the first story that I'm ever writing.

So here we go,

I've always been kind to him and he's always been just too avoidant. The feelings are clearly mutual but once it was just too much, i took a step back. If he gets his mind in the right place and finally learns how to swallow his pride, then good, or I can find someone else who does.

After a month of not talking to each other, he finally calls me up on a random day. It was the start of the vacation after the mid-semester exams. It was a cloudy day, i was feeling good about my hair, the air was cool just like the tall glass of iced coffee I was sipping. I see his name pop up on my phone, shocked, but i pick it up calmly. There's 3 seconds of silence before...

Him : Hi

I sense the nervousness in his voice. Its kinda cute ngl.

Me : hiieee

Him : Umm, h- how're you ?

Me : Well I'm good, the weathers good as well, exactly how I like it. It's a good day.

Him : Yeah I know you love this kind of weather. Ummm did your exams go well ?

Me : Yeah they did actually, i actually studied this time which is kinda surprising but yeah I feel good about it.

Him : I'm glad.

I can hear him smiling

Me : You sound nervous, are you okay ?

This makes him even more nervous.

Him : Yeah in fine, totally. I'm not nervous. Noo.

Me : Cool.

Him : Well, the weather's good and i thought maybe we can go out today ? Are you free right now ?

Me : Umm, right now ?

Him : Yess right now !!

Me : Well yeah I'm free right now, are you taking me out on a date ?

Him : NO I'm not asking you out on a date, I'm just asking if you wanna go out with me.

Me : Okay, where are you taking me ?

Him : Well, idk if you remember but we always talking about going to that lake together, so we can go there today.....the weather's good too.

Me : Ofcourse I remember that. Sure, we can go there. Just let me know when and where are we supposed to meet and I'll be there.

Him : How about we meet there directly at the lake ?

Me : okay sure.

Him : Well ill be there in like 90 minutes and you live close to there so start your journey accordingly. I'll be there at 4:30.

Me : okay done.

Him : Okay, see you soon.

I hang up. I resume sipping my coffee, keep it down on the table and as i gradually start processing what just happened, the sudden wave of thoughts starts kicking in. I'm actually very happy how he finally reached out, I had lost all my hopes of getting in touch with him ever again but he proved me wrong and as i realise the kind of thoughts I'm having, I try to stop myself.

"nope"

"stop expecting so much"

"it's just a cassual meeting don't have such high hopes"

I've been dissappointed by this guy so much so many times but love makes us stupid and we always go back to having that false hope. But not this time, I'll go see him with the lowest expectations I've ever had, it'll just be like a first date with any other guy i meet on Grindr, even though a part of me will be hoping for him to be like i always wanted him to be, treat me nicely, like a fucking boyfriend.

This is the never ending cycle of thoughts I was expecting while I get finish my coffee in a hurry, take a shower, get ready with the best outfit my not-so-fashionable ass can come up with, and start my journey to the lake.

As I start walking, I recieve a text from him- "I just checked on Google maps, my bus will be there in like 30 minutes".

"Guess I'll have to wait for him", I think to myself as i react to that message with a "👍🏽". It's only fair though, since I'm always the late comer on our previous dates, he's the one showing up late this time.

I reach there, wait for him sitting by the waters. I start listening to the playlist of songs he once made me, even though we stopped talking, i still listen to the playlist and both of us keep adding songs to it every now and then. I recieve a text from him, "I've reached, where are you?".

I playfully reply with, "find me". I KNOW he would be pissed off with this but i do it anyway 😂. After a couple of minutes a pair of hands rudely takes out my earphones from my ears, I turn back and it's him. He stands in front of me, looking cute as hell, with those curly hair covering his forehead and a nervous smile on his face. His lips look sooooo bitable right now but i control my urges and stand up to nervously say hi to him with the creepiest of smiles i could ever come up with. We greet each other and start walking and just having awkward conversations for a while, for a shocking change, he breaks the ice this time and says that it's really good to see me again. I smile and continue walking. His hand brushes with mine as we walk. There's an ice cream shop on at the lake and as we pass by it, i smile and move towards it. He follows me to the shop. While I'm looking at the flavours he says, " let me buy you an ice-cream today". I just stare at him in silence coz it's very new to me, it's always me spending money on others. But since he's been a total bitch to me in the past toh I let him. We both continue walking which ice creams in our hands and on our way back we sit by the water to see the sunset. As we finish our ice creams, the silence becomes awkward again. He nervously puts his hand on mine while I look at a cute cat sleeping by the waters. I look at him and just smile.

Me : I'm glad we met.

Him : same pinch

I feel a little bad as he still hasn't taking about anything i have been wanting him to talk about, he hasn't apologized even once. But i calm myself down and just decide to go with the flow.

Me : Im kinda surprised how you came all the way here just to meet me.

Him : Ughhh, i was just getting bored at home and wanted some time away from my neighbours. My flatmates are all gone for the vacation so it's just me at the flat. I thought I'll have some peace but my neighbour kept bugging me. I had to get out of that place.

Me : Oh, so you're just getting bored that's why you met me.

Him : No it's not that, I wanted to meet you.

Me : yeah whatevs.

Him : Well, i came all the way here to meet you. Maybe you can go back with me to return the favour?

He says with a smirk...

Me : Are you serious ?

Him : Yeah why not? I'd rather be annoyed by you than my gross neighbour.

Me : Well even i wouldnt mind some time away from my annoying cousins.

He smiles and tightens his grip on my hand, we get up and start retreating to his home as it gets darker.

We sit together in the bus, holding hands, he rests his head on my shoulder. Both of us are nervous as fuck but we're just letting our hormones control us. I want it, but i don't want it at the same time. This is wierd, ughhh what if this is all just platonic ?

Songs :

Skinny Dipping - Sabrina Carpenter

Mine(Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

Electric Touch - Taylor Swift

[bluejay-writes]

Heaven is a Misnomer - Chapter 2

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me! Rating: Teen Chapter 2 Wordcount: 2968 Characters/Relationships: Jake (Exchange student OC) / Raphael Summary: Jake gets to the Celestial Realm, meets some folks, already hates it. Notes: Hey fam, it's Tuesday! I hope you're hydrating. Please enjoy, and I'll see you next week.

You can also read this on AO3, if that's your jam!

First Chapter || Next Chapter

Chapter 2: Welcome to the Celestial Realm

That night was even more volatile than normal. Even knowing he was shipping out to Heaven in the morning didn’t help him worry less about the amount of anger his father was throwing around downstairs.

When he’d asked when they were leaving, neither mom knew for sure, just “early”.  Given the fact that his dad was especially volatile, Jake was half-dozing in his day clothes with his arms wrapped around his backpack.  Just in case he needed to sneak out the window and down to Nia’s. He’d packed a bag but he’d happily leave that behind if it meant being safe. He didn’t want to show up to the Celestial Realm covered in cuts and bruises. That was not the impression he wanted to make on actual angels, thanks.

When the sudden bright light flashed in front of his eyes, Jake was utterly unprepared. Theoretically, he should have been asleep, or in pajamas at least.  And if it had been any other kid, they probably would have been. Heck, Nia for sure was in her pajamas sound asleep at this time of morning.

When the light cleared, Jake looked around. Where am I? This looks like some kind of… Fancy Library… 

He was sitting on the ground, in the same position he’d been sitting on his bed. His bag was nowhere to be seen, which was immediately stressful. To his left stood a young woman, about his age.  She was darker than Nia, with long hair the color of grape juice in a long braid down her back.

“Uh, hi.” He said quietly.  She turned and looked at him and beamed, reaching out a hand to help him up.

“Hey there, stranger. I expected you to be in your pajamas when they told me the other human exchange student was a completely normal guy.”

“Uh. Yeah. I… didn’t know when they were coming to get me, so…”

“Fair! I suppose it’s not normal to just go ahead and assume 3:47am.”

Jake gave her a look.  She seemed nice enough, but… there was something weird about her.

“You think I’m weird, I bet.” She said, and his jaw dropped open.

“Are you reading my mind?”

“No, you just have an expressive face. Also, it’s the normal kind of reaction any time magic’s involved. The angels should be here to greet us momentarily, but let me get started with you anyway.”

She stuck out a hand, covered in a soft black glove. “I’m Cheyenne, and I’m a witch.”

“Jake.” he smiled, and took her hand, giving it a shake. “I’m painfully normal. Also… I’m calling you Shiny from now on.”

Cheyenne paused, blinked, and nodded. “That’s cute as heck! I like it. You are allowed.”

“Yeah okay good. I nickname like… everyone.”

“That’s probably not going to fly so hot with the angels, just as a heads up.”

“No?”

“Yeah, they tend to be sticklers for process and. . . well, you’ll see.”

“You’re making me doubt the next year of my life and I’ve been here less than five minutes.”

“You made this choice, kiddo.”

“Well, technically my mother did, but. Kiddo? How old are you?”

“Oh, only 25. I just know you’re still in high school, so younger than me.”

“Mph.” Jake said eloquently, squelching whatever else it was that he was going to say as the door in front of them opened to admit a small group of people.

“Perfectly said. With that in mind, let me do the talking.” Shiny said, mostly under her breath, and Jake wondered what she knew that he didn’t. For a moment. And then he started wondering what she knew that he did know, because that was probably a far shorter list, given everything that had happened in the past three minutes.

“Welcome to the Celestial Realm, exchange students.”  The man speaking was a tall man with pale skin and piercing blue eyes. He was dressed in a pristine three-piece suit - white, with blue accents. His bearing reminded Jake of his father, and he had to clamp down on an immediate visceral dislike of the man.  It was just his coloring, Jake was sure. They looked like they could be family, after all. He was greeting them, and he was an angel. Besides, his mom promised he’d be safe. She’d put her own life on the line multiple times to keep him safe - he trusted her word.

“Greetings, Michael.” Shiny said, a smile on her face that Jake matched. He was good at smiling and covering up what he was really thinking. It was one of his best skills. Maybe he should go into business.

“Ah, Cheyenne.” Michael said, and if Jake didn’t know better, he’d think Michael’s smile dimmed for a half a second before settling. “How good it is to see you again.”

While Michael and Cheyenne greeted each other, Jake felt his eyes moving to the people behind Michael. 

To his right was a man with light olive skin and long silver hair pulled back into a ponytail, whose red eyes were hidden behind glasses and mostly focused on what was probably his phone. He wore a long white coat that looked like it came straight out of The Matrix.

To his left was a man with short wavy indigo hair and cool, dark skin. His eyes were a similar blue-purple to his hair, and he was watching the both of them with a smirk gracing his lips. He was wearing a black skin-tight shirt with a white leather jacket and matching pants, studded all over in gold.

Behind the both of them was a man with a spear.  Jake initially took him for a guard of some type, because of the spear, but the way he carried himself implied more autonomy than just a guard.  His ash blonde hair was short but fell almost into his eyes, giving him a sleepy look. The eyes themselves were a glorious gradient of blue with a ring of purple around the pupil. Jake felt like he could drown in them. He was wearing a complicated top of multiple layers that left the vast majority of his chest exposed, a collared vest with long tails but only down his back, and a pair of what looked like a combination of black leggings with white harem pants over the top split down the sides.  He was easily the most attractive person that Jake had ever seen, and he had to tear his eyes away.

All in all, Jake felt weirdly like he fit in visually here. And also like he hadn’t been listening to a word of the conversation between Cheyenne and Michael. Oops.

“As I was saying.” Michael said, turning to pin Jake with a look that told him just how obvious his distraction had been. “The demons should be here shortly, and we’ll do introductions once, rather than repeat ourselves.”

Jake nodded, trying to stay engaged. It wasn’t working. His eyes kept looking anywhere but at Michael, interested in the room they were in, the books on the shelves, the incredibly hot (probably) angel with the spear that was avoiding his gaze…

He was startled from his distraction, once again, by an odd popping sound, and the appearance of two women. Two women who couldn’t be more different if they tried. 

One of them was a deep red, as though she’d soaked in beet juice for months. Even what Jake would have called the whites of her eyes were red.  And despite the obvious demonic look, she was smiling brightly, the very picture of cheer, and Jake couldn’t help but smile back. Sure, sure, her teeth were wicked pointy, but he’d liked creepier people.

The other was an entire cake of a woman. He’d say beefcake, but she was like… carrot cake.  Ginger hair in two long braids each as thick as his forearms that fell down past her waist.  They were probably weapons in their own right, and the muscles in her neck were definitely strong enough to hold them up.

Michael clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention, and Jake stiffened, turning to look at the angel.

“Introductions are in order. I am Michael, Voice of God, leader of all angels, and all here know of me.” It was unspoken, but Jake had this feeling that he was trying to claim he was all-powerful and would someday be King of Heaven and all Jake could do was shiver.

“To my right is Gabriel. He will be handling your technology needs and any other communication between the realms while you are here.” The man with silver hair looked up and nodded.

“To my left is Feniel. He should be able to help with any academic questions you have while you are here, as he is usually found here in the library.” The dark angel smiled, and Jake couldn’t help but smile as well.  There was something bitter in that smile, and Jake wondered if Feniel would even be included if they weren’t having this meeting in the library to start with.

“Behind me is Raphael.” Raphael. Jake thought the name, and felt his smile shift to something more genuine.  The name suited the man with the spear. “Raphael is discipline. You will most likely not need to see him during your time here in the Celestial Realm, but he will be in classes with you, so be friendly at least.”

Raphael’s face showed nothing in reaction to Michael’s words. Not even a flicker of emotion. Jake wasn’t sure how to take that. Maybe he wasn’t an emotions kind of angel. Maybe he didn’t like Michael. Maybe he just didn’t emote while he was working and this was definitely working.  Whatever it was, Jake was going to figure it out.  The angel had him curious, and he was dangerous when curious. Nia could attest, for sure.

“Angels accounted for,” Michael continued. “Let me confirm why you’re all here. Diavolo, Prince of the Devildom, believes that the three realms need to strengthen our relationships rather than relying on our extant ties. As such, we have instituted an exchange program.  We’ve sent two angels to the human world and two to the Devildom.  And, we’re welcoming four students to our institution: two from the human world and two from the Devildom.”

Two?! Why couldn’t I have gone with Nia then, or she come here? Splitting us was both cruel and unnecessary.

“So you’ve obviously figured out who’s who, why don’t we go ahead and have you introduce yourselves.  Let’s start with Miss Red over here.  Could you be so kind as to keep your demon form put away while you’re here in the Celestial Realm?”

The dark red girl seemed to shiver, and then stood looking like a typical college girl. Skin a nice dark tan, with blood red pigtails, in a black tank and plaid skater skirt style. Her smile was still contagious.

“Hi. I’m Vriyaya. I like to dance, and have a perfectly normal fascination with blood.”

Next to her, the carrot cake girl laughed, and then paused when everyone looked at her.

“Oh was that all? It can be my turn then. I’m Yboun’dih, and I am very much looking forward to spending time with all of you and finding out what it’s like up here in the Celestial Realm.”  

Well, she seems perfectly normal, for a carrot cake.  But what’s with that name? I’m calling her Bunny for sure. Because carrot cake.

Wasting no time, the grape juice girl next to him spoke up. “I’m Cheyenne. Friends call me Shiny.” Does that mean I’m her friend? Whoa, way to simultaneously stake a claim and friendzone a guy.  Good thing I’m gay and not offended. Jake chuckled, and Shiny shot him a grin. “I’m a witch. The angels know me, they love me.” Feniel coughed, and Shiny sighed “Okay, okay, they tolerate me. Anyway I’m here halfway often, so…”

Jake realized, then, that he was next and also last and that was a weight he wasn’t expecting.

“Hi, I’m Jake. Your paperwork probably calls me Jacob, but if you call me Jacob I will take it as an offense. Call me Jake, or don’t call me at all.” He looked pointedly at Michael when he said it. “I’m painfully normal. I didn’t even know the Celestial Realm was real 12 hours ago. Please cut me some slack, I’ll try and learn as fast as I can. Also, if you’ve got gossip in this place… let me in on it. I love me a good gossip sesh. Also… I don’t seem to have any of my things, and also you grabbed me in the middle of the night so maybe work on the timing and warning of pickups for things like this?”

Michael pursed his lips at this. “Well, with any new program there are issues. I will pass your feedback on to our contacts in the Devildom who did the planning, and hopefully they’ll bother to note it down for next time. As far as your things are concerned, you will not need anything from the human realm. Everything you need while you are here will be provided to you.” Jake didn’t think that their retrieval of him was in any way the Devildom’s fault but… he’d have to ask Nia about it, maybe she can ask someone there about it. And his things… he really hoped that someone who had some kind of fashion sense picked out his clothes.

“Regardless.” Michael continued, piercing Jake with a glare as though he could tell that his mind wandered. “Your period of stay here in the Celestial Realm is one year.  You will be able to communicate with your family at home, as well as any friends you make here, via your C.C.C..  You will have to work on the tasks that you receive here at The Celestial Academy, or TCA for short, just like your schooling in your home realms, though the subjects will differ. After one year, you will write a term paper detailing your time here in the Celestial Realm, and then you will return home. We will arrange for sufficient educational credits and the issuing of your diploma at that time.”

“What kind of tasks?  Is there a primer? Books I can study up on so I don’t make a fool of myself?” Jake really hated making a fool of himself. It was a trait he and Nia shared, actually. He couldn’t keep his mind off his bestie. He hoped she was doing okay down there in Hell. Erm, the Devildom.

“Are you glaring at me?” Michael said, slightly taken aback. “Please don’t.  It is beneath us both.  I will not abandon you to your studies without any guidance, nor leave you to your own devices whilst here in the Celestial Realm.  As a perfectly normal human, you’ll need someone to look after you, and as such I will be assigning you a mentor while you are here. Gabriel here,” Michael gestured to the tech nerd on his right, “Will be your mentor during your time here. He can be a bit… distracted.  Well, you’ll understand soon enough.”

Gabriel also glared at Michael, and Jake had to work hard to keep a smirk off of his face. After the momentary glare, Gabriel stepped out and handed everyone a small device, coming to Jake last.

“All of you, these are what Michael mentioned before, your C.C.C - it stands for Celestial Communication Console, and it’s a lot like the cell phones of the human world or the D.D.D.s that exist in the Devildom.”

Jake examined the device in his hand and smirked.  Sure enough, it looked like the newest model of iPhone.  Of course the Celestial Realm were Apple fanboys. That made perfect sense.

“Thanks.” He said, giving Gabriel one of his best smiles. He wanted to make a good impression on the angel who’d be overseeing his existence for the foreseeable future.

“This will be yours to use for as long as you’re here. It’s pre-loaded with everyone in this room’s contact information, your mother and… whoever Nia is?”

“Holy shit!” Jake exclaimed, not even thinking if swearing might get him in trouble. “You weren’t lying. I can totally text Nia with this.” He sniffed suddenly, realizing his eyes were tearing up. He thought he’d have to be without his bestie for an entire year, and he didn’t and that just… it was the best thing ever.

“Nia? Sounds like someone has a girlfriend~!” Vriyaya’s voice swam over in a singsong tone and Jake shot her a smile, but didn’t answer. Nia wasn’t a girlfriend, excepting in the literal sense that she was a girl and his friend.

Jake looked up and cast his gaze across the group. “So, I like nicknames. I sure you could tell given my insistence about my own name.” he said, deciding to be upfront with his habits. “I’ve already got Shiny here. Yboun’dih..” he tried not to mangle her name while looking into her bright green eyes. “Can I call you Bunny?”

The large girl grinned, and bounced in place. “Yes. I can be your Bunny.”

Vriyaya piped up “People call me Aya at home. Since you like nicknames, cutie.”

Okay. Shiny, Bunny, Aya…

“What about you, angels? A lot of your names have built in nicknames, but—“

“No.” Michael said simply. “We do not use nicknames.”

Jake practically wilted.  Shiny had warned him, but… it still stung.  Why did he have to go ahead and be rude about it? Was it because Jake had been pointed about his own use name? And none of the other angels spoke up at all, which he couldn’t decide if meant they agreed with Michael or simply didn’t want to contradict him. Either way, Jake hated it.

[seeking-elsewhither]

these tags are so accurate it hurts.

I feel like Springer really did the Holmes brothers dirty in the books (forget the movie, Mycroft's character was straight up mutilated). Rereading the books is basically: no, Mycroft would NOT do that; you really expect me to believe Sherlock to do that??

Oooh I feel a long discourse coming up:

We'll start with the eldest Holmes, Mycroft (aka my beloved).

ACD's canon books paint an absolutely intriguing picture of him. The greatest detective himself idolizes him, who is this guy??

We meet him and we can't help but like him, sedentary though his lifestyle is. He's clever, he uses his energy wisely than spontaneously and he's got a good sense of humour. He doesn't hesitate to one up his brother just for fun (see the moment where he travels to Baker Street and says, "Ohoho, brother mine, hello, yes, I reached here first, didn't expect that did you?"). This guy gives off peak elder sibling vibes (as an elder sibling myself, I can confirm), pulling Sherlock by the leg every time he can and giving him his aid whenever his brother needs it.

And he's actually a pretty modest guy. He's chill, is what I mean to say. And eccentric. And he does love his brother (actions speak louder than words). What's not to love?

But then we get to Springer's version of Mycroft. Straight off the bat, the moment you meet him, you dislike him inherently. Sorry, Springer, but do you really expect me to believe that silly old Mycroft who is as sharp and wise as they come would take one look at Enola Holmes, his baby sister, and choose to criticize her instead of burst into hearty chuckles at her appearance? Do you really think he would treat her and speak to her so cruelly? So coldly? When he does not even speak to his younger brother in such a terrible fashion, do you expect me to believe he would speak likewise to his child of a sister? Do you really believe he would not rather dote upon and spoil her like the madman he is?

I loved Mycroft's character the moment I met him on BBC's Sherlock. And, since I've always loved sibling relationships, it was delightful to read in the books of how Sherlock looked up to his brother and cherished him dearly.

Next up is Sherlock.

I've read some really interesting discourse on this site about Sherlock, and I'm talking about ACD's Sherlock, not BBC's. Based on everything I've read and the books, I've come to the conclusion that Sherlock would not have treated his sister so sharply. He's been rather gentle, forgiving and empathetic when dealing with the women who come to him for aid. Would he have done anything less for his own flesh and blood?

During the investigation into what happened to their mother, perhaps he would have been rather calloused. But as a detective, empathy is bound to help him more than hinder him; he would be able to tell more easily the motives of the culprit this way. And since he is so attuned to human nature and how people respond, would he not have better communication skills and understand social nuances better? Would he not then apply those skills, feigned though they might be, to his clients and - of course - his kin? Sherlock's chivalry and kindness is noted more than once in the books.

And since he admires his brother so, is it not probable that Mycroft himself must have a similar character? Is there not a chance that Sherlock emulated his brothers characteristics, as is the wont of the younger sibling? Would Sherlock not have been delighted to discover that he is no longer the youngest in the family.

At the train station, when the siblings first meet, shocking though the conversation might have been concerning Enola's education and her mode of transport, I expect the meeting to have been warmer. More of "Hey-ho, look at how tall she is! Look at how very like Mother she looks. Oh but the nose is Father's, isn't it? Yes, very much like Father's. Did you know, dear sister, the last time we saw each other, you're face was splattered in mud and you were crying so terribly that we were leaving that you cried yourself sick? It is absolutely marvelous to see you, Enola!" And that is when they remember the reason for their visit and become grave and sober and inquire after her health and state-of-mind. They'd forgotten Mother had disappeared, being so caught up in the excitement of meeting the baby sister.

And Enola is just...standing there, bewildered by the emotions and the enthusiasm of them meeting...her? Having been so neglected and shunned by the world, the fact that anyone could be so elated upon seeing her is a foreign concept - she thinks she can feel tears in her eyes.

Anyways, what happens next is while investigating their mother's disappearance, the brother's decide to send Enola to boarding school since everyone does it, but she adamantly refuses and they can see the fear in her eyes (an unfounded fear, I think. were boarding schools really that bad? now that I know about corsets, I'm beginning to doubt the apprehension concerning boarding schools. anyways, the brothers know she's already emotionally unstable, so they don't push it), so they resolve to let her keep living in Ferndell Hall (now officially under Mycroft's name) and instead hire some of the best tutors in all the subjects that intrigue her to teach her. The girl wants to learn, then let her learn. She's worthy of the Holmes name, she's as wild and eccentric as the rest of us.

They also hire a governess, someone trustworthy (Violet Hunter perhaps? O.O), and under her care and love, the girl grows up into a wonderfully smart, poised and confident woman. Of course, Enola still becomes a Perditorian, but this time with the help and support of her brothers.

They stay with her at Ferndell Hall for at least a year or so after their mum's disappearance that she isn't so startled by all the changes. After that, they visit her as often as they can, they send her letters and gifts, they celebrate birthdays and Christmases and all other holidays with her.

So there's one of my favourite alternate book accurate timeline for the bestest girl in the world. She isn't failed by her family here. She is loved and cherished, as she ought to be.

Of course, this begs the question: is the mother the problem? I believe she is. If we are considering the brothers to be canon compliant in behaviour, that means some parent raised them right, and I refuse to believe it was their mother, cold-hearted woman as she is. Maybe Enola would have lived a happier childhood if her father had been alive.

Then again, if we choose to believe the entire Holmes family as canon compliant, it is unlikely that their mother would have been so shut-off from her children. The Holmes brothers seem confident and sure of their bearing, willingly accepting their strangeness rather than attempting to conform to the world. Does this bear witness to good parenting? More likely than not.

Anyways, there's my take on the Holmes brothers. Not sure how much of it is accurate to ACD's canon, but I KNOW for a fact that they would have loved their sister from the start.

Thank you for taking the time to read this!

Okay, but I'm sure that looking like her father would absolutely kill Enola, especially if Mycroft also looked like him. Especially especially because she's young enough to be Mycroft's daughter anyway...

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

bsod | kth

pairing(s): taehyung x reader

summary: A fortune teller on the street told him that you, a complete stranger, were his future wife. Sweet! So, how does he get to know you? That's right, by continuously asking you to come over and fix his fossil of a computer instead of buying a new one.

warnings: language; Kim Taehyung constantly calling you wife and you being not amused about it; soulmate energy (?); strangers-to-friends-to-?; just fluff tbh; title stands for blue screen of death

--

“Wife!”

“I’m not your wife, Taehyung.”

“Take this.”

You looked up from the computer to see Kim Taehyung handing you a small can of mango juice. Smiling his big, boxy smile, tan skin glowing, wearing a large green flannel and matching pajama pants. You sighed a big sigh and took it.

“How’s the patient?”

“Broken.” You cracked the can open, regarding him with annoyance. “The fuck did you do?”

“Nothing!” He held up his hands in innocence. You clicked your tongue, frowning at him. “It just blue-screened me!”

You took a small sip and turned back to his computer that was now re-installing the operating system. You had already told him it meant he would lose all his apps, but at least he had listened to you and kept all his important files on an external hard drive. It was taking forever. His computer was a fucking potato run by an overweight hamster who had to be fanned to start moving.

“Taehyung,” you muttered. “Just buy a new computer.”

“But this one works perfectly fine!”

You narrowed your eyes as the percentage slowed. It was barely ticking forward. You reached over and removed the side grate to let more airflow in.

“This one is a rapidly calcifying fossil,” you sighed. “You’re just keeping it so you have an excuse to ask me to come over.”

“But…” Taehyung pouted, poking his fingers together. “You’re the only one who can fix it.”

“I’m an IT tech for the software at the hospital I work at, not a computer repairman. Why don’t you ask Jungkook to fix this for you? He knows a lot about computers.”

Taehyung shook his head quickly, dark brown hair flying everywhere. “Jungkook’s not cute.”

“Sure, he is,” you replied, taking another sip. Taehyung smacked you in the back. You barely moved.

“You can’t cheat on me, wife!”

“I’m not your wife,” you shot back irritably. The percentage was going up now, very, very slowly.

“The fortune teller said so.”

“The fortune teller is a load of horseshit,” you exhaled, leaning back into his gaming chair and licking your teeth. “You paid one guy on the side of the road to ask who your future wife was and he only picked me because I was standing right there.”

Taehyung shrugged. “What if he’s right though? Can’t hurt to try.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. You weren’t about to get him started again, so you blew out a long breath and took another sip of juice. It had been a chance meeting. You had gone to the shrine to pay your respects and a dark-haired stranger had been there, speaking to an old man wearing the most outlandish and colorful clothes you had ever seen along with way too many beaded necklaces. In any case, you hadn’t thought much of it and went on your way.

Until Taehyung came up and started talking to you.

And not shutting up.

He could talk a lot if he wanted to.

And he followed you through every bus stop you were taking until you finally gave in and gave him your damn phone number. You could have given him a fake number, or maybe even called the police, but he seemed pretty harmless, like an excitable puppy. And, whatever, your parents kept reminding you that you needed to actually go outside to speak to other human beings and maybe get married, as soon as possible please, so grandchildren could appear before they died.

You weren’t even that old.

Your parents were drama queens.

Honestly some random, decently handsome guy asking you to get married wasn’t a terrible problem to have. And Taehyung was incredibly handsome, curly dark hair, strong features, cute smile, golden tan skin, broad shoulders, even quite tall.

He was just… weird.

You scratched your face and pointed to his hard drive. “I checked it with my laptop earlier. Doesn’t seem like your files are corrupted.”

Taehyung placed a hand on his chest. “Whew, thanks. I was really worried about that.”

“You download too much porn though.”

He winked at you. “I wouldn’t need it if my wife was willing to supply.”

Again, Taehyung was weird.

You raised an eyebrow and took a lengthy, incredibly loud sip of your mango juice, draining it. He frowned at you as you lowered it, blowing out a long breath. You put the can on his desk and checked the percentage again. A whole fifteen percent! Holy shit, it was a damn miracle.

“You never thought about it, at least once?” Taehyung asked quietly in his deep voice.

You placed a hand on your chin and prayed the hamster in his computer could run a little faster on his wheel. “No.”

“Why not?”

You shrugged. “Dunno, really.”

He placed a hand on the chair and turned you to face him. You looked away from your computer, seeing his curious expression. Taehyung tilted his head at you, dark brown eyes searching your face.

“Think about it now.”

Taehyung wasn’t a bad person. Even though he constantly called you his ‘wife’ for a rather frivolous reason, he never actually tried to touch you sexually. None of his comments ruffled you that much and he seemed to know that there were limits to what he could and couldn’t say.

You placed a hand on your cheek, studying him. Taehyung was a wedding and special events photographer. He showed you a little bit of his work before, the various pictures of happy people in white dresses and black suits. You wondered how he would look in a tuxedo. Probably good. Maybe even better than good.

“Do you think I’m attractive, Taehyung?” you asked, swaying a little in his seat.

His eyes travelled down your body, you and your cable-knit, rusty-red sweater and your ankle-length, pleated black shirt, wearing his fluffy brown slippers he offered you at the door, paired with your thick black socks. Taehyung lifted his head to look into your eyes.

“Yes.”

He said it very sincerely and suddenly it was hard to keep eye contact.

You looked back to his computer, seeing the twenty percent mark. Sigh. You weren’t getting out of this conversation anytime soon. You turned back to him, clicking your tongue.

“You met me on the street. You didn’t know me.”

“I know you now,” Taehyung said with a smile. “You’re funny. You swear a lot. You didn’t take my shit. You always come and help me even though you always grumble about it.” He chuckled deep in his chest, cheeks round with mirth. “You handle every problem head-on and roll with what life gives you.” He pointed to himself. “Even if it’s someone as annoying as me.”

You rolled your eyes. Twenty-five percent. Oh! It seemed to be moving faster now for some reason.

Taehyung scratched his head. “I wish life was easier.”

You blinked in confusion. “What?”

He shrugged. “You know, first you have to look for someone who looks pretty, then you have to slowly get to know them, then they break your heart, and you have to try over and over again like that. An endless cycle, happy, then hurting, happy, then hurting.” Taehyung scoffed, shoving his hands in his pajama pockets. “Wouldn’t it just be easier if someone told you who you were supposed to be with and then it was just right, the perfect person right there on the street, waiting for you to know them, waiting for you to love them, so they could love you back?”

You stared at him.

“But I was just dropping off oranges to the harvest gods so the farmers could have a good crop this year.”

He shrugged. “Same thing.”

It was not the same thing.

You chuckled, shaking your head. He sighed, a long, agonizing exhale that made you look back.

“I’m tired. I’m tired of people telling me I like strange things, tired of people telling me I’m too eccentric, tired of people telling me I’m weird.”

You pointed to the puffy-faced character figurine on his desk. “You are a little weird.”

Taehyung huffed. “I just want a girl to love me, so I can love her back.”

You rubbed your nose. “People are troublesome.” He looked over to you and you shrugged. “All they care about is, what’s your job? What does your family do? How much money do you make? Why aren’t you married yet and have five children?” You rolled your eyes. “Your grades are good. You’re attractive. You could get a rich man. You could become a housewife and have him take care of you.” You sucked on the inside of your cheek with a loud pop, annoyed. “What If I like working? What if I want my husband to stay home and take care of the kids? What if I don’t want to be taken care of?”

There was a silence after your words. You stared at his computer screen, watching it tick to thirty-three percent.

“I’m not rich,” Taehyung said quietly. “I don’t mind if you work. I could stay home and take care of the kids. But… I can’t fulfill one of those.”

Slowly, slowly, you turned your head. Taehyung was observing you with an apologetic smile. His smile grew into that familiar boxy grin, boyishly playful.

“Because I would want to take care of you, if you’ll let me.”

For first time ever since you met Taehyung, he had left you speechless. You didn’t have a silly reply ready or a raised eyebrow that spoke a thousand words. You looked into his dark brown eyes, wondering why you had picked that day to walk to the shrine, wondering what came over you as you picked up some extra oranges. You sometimes did things like that, dropping off flowers to your parents, or picking up an extra can of tuna to feed a stray cat meowing outside the grocery store. On that day, you were inspecting those oranges and thought, I hope the farmers have a good harvest this year. I should go to the shrine.

It had nothing to do with Taehyung, and yet he showed up in your life anyway.

He bent down a little, closer to your face. You didn’t move away, blinking slowly, a strange thump-thump-thump invading your chest. He seemed to hesitate and pull back a little. Then he closed the distance quickly and pecked you on the lips.

The quickest, lightest touch.

Taehyung drew away quickly, laughing nervously as he looked away from you.

“Haha, sorry, I just… wondered what it would feel like.”

You turned away swiftly. Thump-thump-thump, turning into resounding drumbeats that heated your ears. Whoa. You expected to feel weirded out by that, and yet it was, somehow… not as strange as you though it would be? You ended up staring at the computer screen. Somehow it was already done, at one-hundred percent.

Taehyung bought a lot of weird instances into your life.

You clicked the button to restart the computer.

It whirred and died.

You blinked at it. You mashed the power button repeatedly. It didn’t turn on. The screen was completely black and it remained black. You poked the power button one last time, as if the dead machine could detect your forcefulness. It was dead.

“Taehyung.”

He turned back, biting his lip nervously. “Hm?”

“As your future wife… please just buy a new computer.”

--

masterpost

[books-and-catears]

Old Flames and New Faces

Replaced MC AU because apparently everyone's doing their version of it?

I've written too much angst in the past few days so this will be a bit different from the other ones.

Chap 2 ->

Diavolo: Given the major success of our last Student exchange, we have a new human joining us soon!

Brothers: *groan*

MC: Atleast groan somewhere I can't hear you! Jeez can't believe you guys still hate humans this much.

Levi: Well you're the only good human we've met so far. And the other one is shady Solomon.

Satan: Exactly and given these examples, our reactions might be extreme

Mammon: This time I can't take care of the new one! I've my hands full with MC!

Belphie: MC has been here for two years Mammon. I don't think they need you 'taking care' of them.

Beel: Will they bring food from the human world?

Lucifer: Right when things had calmed down, you had to start chaos again, Diavolo...

MC: Well I for one am excited. Good to have more normal humans around... right? They aren't an immortal witch or something? A normal human?!

Diavolo: Ah yes, she is normal. Her name is Lily and she's eager to meet you.

_____________________x_____________________

The first thing everyone noticed about Lily was how much she resembled Lilith. Everyone except Satan gasped and stepped back the moment she walked in.

"I'm Lily Greene. It's a pleasure to meet you." A sweet angel like voice and a calming presence. Even you found it reassuring.

You greeted her with a hug, "Welcome to the House of Chaos..I mean Lamentation. It's refreshing to have another human around." She stared at you with her doe eyes before smiling.

"Are you the other human? You're just as attractive as the brothers so I thought you were a demon like them." Lily said, her cheeks turning pink.

The brothers were quietly observing. Satan was the first one to reach out - being a proper gentleman. He kissed her knuckles, in a prince like manner. "Welcome to your new home. Hope we can keep you good company. I'm-"

"Ah you're Satan!" Lily exclaimed. "Ah Diavolo had challenged to me recognise you by your behaviours. He said Satan would be the most polite and princely one."

Then she turned to the rest of the brothers and began accurately naming them one by one.

"That tall one with a the black coat is Lucifer. The white haired one is Mammon. The third broody one is Levi. The fifth one with the pretty hair is Asmo. And those two are the twins - Beel and Belphie." She announced it so surely, everyone was impressed.

"Amazing! You will fit in here just fine!" You cheered, "Come on let me show you, our room before they all start bombarding you with questions."

"Um.. actually..." She looked down unsure. "I thought Diavolo already told you but, only I'll be staying here. You are supposed to go to Purgatory Hall with Simeon and Luke. I even met Solomon on the way here."

"...oh. I didn't know." You paused on the stairs, "Okay I'll pack so you can move in fast." And off you went.

Just like that huh?

Solomon promised to pick you up after you finish dinner with brothers. And as you sat at the table, you could sense a change. They never let you be this quiet during dinners, always overwhelming you with questions and information.

But today it was all directed at Lily. "Do you like music? Do you like anime? Do you like books? What's your favourite thing to eat?" And she patiently replied to them all. Everyone seemed pleased with her answers. Even Lucifer.

So engrossed in their talks, you forgot to eat your food. So when there was a knock on the door, you hurriedly gobbled up the now cold devil shadow-hog chops and grabbed your luggage.

Something's off.

You walked out the door to greet Solomon floating a few metres above ground. "A good day for flying. Would you like to join in? Even your luggage won't be as heavy."

You took Solomon's extended hand and rose above ground. "Okay guys, I'm off-" You glanced to look back. Noone had come here to see you off.

You caught a glimpse of them laughing and joking with Lily. Asmo already had an arm around her shoulder. And even Levi was grabbing her hands. When was the last time they were this free and talkative?

"...oh well, time to go." You said to yourself as Solomon held your hand and lead you away.

"That new girl was rather unexpected don't you think?" Solomon spoke to fill in the silece. "Appeared out of nowhere, with all their descriptive identities memorised. "

"Perhaps..." You were just as curious about her, only hiding it. "For a normal human, she's adjusting as she's known them from long ago."

Solomon nodded as you both soared towards your new home.

Something's wrong.

[jadequeen88]

Accidental Valentine

◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈

This is my fic for The Citrus Dome Server Lover’s Day Literature Collab! Please go check out The Masterlist and support all of the amazing artists and writers that have contributed.🖤

A/N: WHEW guys... I don’t think I’ve put this much work into a fic EVER. I’ve been feeling pretty bad about my body and wanted to write a reader who struggled with it as well. Who better to boost your confidence than DILF Kiri feeding your praise kink?! I was heavily influenced by this amazing drabble by @rat-suki​ and got permission to use it as my inspiration for this fic.🖤 (for reference, reader is 30 and Kirishima is 42)

Thanks to @afictionalwhore and my dear friend Orchid for the beta read!🖤

RetiredProHero!Kirishima x YoungerF!Reader

Word Count: 5.3k

TW: size difference, oral (both receiving), daddy kink, praise kink (lots and lots of praise), TBH the sex is pretty vanilla but very passionate, both are insecure about their bodies.

When you trudged into work this morning, you didn’t ever dream of meeting your childhood idol/crush, but here you are, staring up at a beautiful mountain of a man. Eijiro Kirishima, or retired pro hero Red Riot, had never come into your coffee shop before and you’d never imagined he would. He was huge. Nearly 7 ft tall and built like a brick house. His hair was back to his natural black with flecks of silver at his temples and hung long and wild around his shoulders. He had on a pair of glasses and wore a dark maroon sweater and jeans.

Even though he’s aged, he looks just as handsome as the young man you fell for as a girl.

The year he made his debut, you were only six, and like most other six-year-olds, you idolized the pro heroes. Most of your friends loved Deku or Dynamite, but you always loved Red Riot. His smile, warmth, and his fiercely protective nature made your tiny heart burst with admiration. Throughout his hero career, you kept up with all of his interviews, the battles he’d been in, the awards he’d won, and his hero rankings. You’d also gotten as much merch as possible over the years and still wore your worn-out, oversized Red Riot t-shirt to sleep in. When he retired a couple of years ago, you still scanned articles online trying to gather bits and pieces of information about the hero, but he wasn’t one to seek out the spotlight. You think that’s probably why he’d always been your favorite. He was a true hero. Serving the citizens and keeping them safe was his top priority. You didn’t want to admit it, but you kept up with him for one main reason… You wanted to know if he was seeing anyone.

You remember being eaten up with jealousy when you’d see his arm around another woman going to galas and award ceremonies. Your sixteen-year-old brain knew that of course, he’d date women. He was a grown man and a pro hero. But your heart would ache, wanting to be the one his soft eyes and pointy-toothed grin was fixed on.

Now those same eyes were fixed on you, his mouth moving and forming words, but you were too star-struck to hear what he was saying. When you snapped out of your daze and remembered you were supposed to be taking his order, you were mortified.

“I-I’m so sorry sir! Could you please repeat that?”

“Sure thing!” his bright smile was hypnotizing, “Just a venti-sized flat white. Have you had your coffee yet? Ya looked a little far away there for a second, kid.”

Your heart leaped at the little nickname. “Yeah, sorry about that! I guess I should get a couple of shots of espresso in me before I try to be productive.” You chuckle nervously as you scribble his order on the cup and turn to make his drink.

“Oh, uhh…” he peeks around the counter to get your attention, “Do you need my name? For the order?”

You freeze realizing you forgot basic, barista 101 etiquette…

“Actually,” you face him, a sheepish grin on your face, avoiding eye contact, “I know your name. You… umm, were my favorite hero,” you blush, and your eyes widen in embarrassment, “you know when I was a kid...”

You turn back to your work, kicking yourself for being so awkward. 

“Really? I think you’re the first person to recognize me since ya know,” he circled his head with his pointer finger, “I stopped dying my hair..”

You turned your head to peer up at him through your dark lashes, a light dusting of blush still on your cheeks, “Well, I like it. It looks good on you.”

The retired pro’s heart was bursting at how damned cute you were. Was this pretty, young girl… embarrassed? Over him?! He watched your tiny hands move as they worked on his drink order, wondering how small they’d feel grasped in his massive ones. Your soft hair caught in the sunlight making you look like a literal angel and he sighed. You reached up to grab a canister from the top shelf and a sliver of soft skin between your t-shirt and jeans peeked through. His gaze became far away and he damn near drooled at the sight. Just how long had it been since he’d touched another woman? Kirishima wasn’t one for casual flings. He always got too invested in whoever he was seeing. So when he and his long-time girlfriend broke things off a couple of years ago, he wasn’t rushing back into the dating scene.

However, things were a little more… complicated than just not finding the right girl to commit to. He was getting older and it was starting to show. Over the past few years, he’d lost his confidence. He’s bulkier around the middle no matter what workouts or diets he tries. Overuse of his quirk has caused stretchmarks and scars all over his skin. He was starting to get crow’s feet and he was overall just TOO big and TOO hairy. He felt like some sort of gorilla walking around in human clothing. Kirishima isn’t stupid or trying to fool himself. A young, gorgeous thing like you wasn’t looking for anything from an old, washed-up man like him. But, fuck… It was nearly impossible for him to move his gaze away from your ass… Oh, the things he’d do to you if he were a few years younger...

You turned to look over your shoulder and notice his gaze… and it’s apparent that he’s checking you out. He looks like a man starved, eyes glued to your ass.

“Well, well, well… maybe he wasn’t so annoyed with my fangirling after all.”

When he realized you’d gone still, his eyes met yours and he quickly averted his gaze. His cheeks turned as red as his hair used to be. You busied yourself with the milk steamer to hide your big, goofy grin. With a new burst of confidence, you decide to take a chance and when you go to write his name on his to-go cup, you write

 “Big Red <3” 

You pause, bite your lip, and think to yourself, “why the hell not?” as you scribble your number underneath the nickname. You turn to give him his drink and your nerves almost make you retreat and make a whole new drink. Then he meets your gaze and your world stops spinning. His vermillion eyes crinkle at the edges as his scared lips turn upwards into a syrupy sweet smile.

When Kirishima takes his drink from you, your fingers brush his for the briefest second and he can tell they’re trembling. “Oh no, I hope I haven’t made her nervous or uncomfortable.” He wanted to go crawl in a hole… That was until he saw what you’d written on his cup.

He stammers, looking from the cup to your face like he’s checking to see if you’re pulling a prank on him or not. Before he can say anything, you bite your lip and look up at him. 

“I’m off work this Sunday. Just… if you’d like to hang out or something.” your gaze shifts and you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. 

After a moment or two, his face lights up in a huge grin. “Y-yeah, great!” he turns and walks a few steps, then turns around and motions at the cup, “So… I should just, ahh… text you?”

You giggle and it’s the sweetest sound he’s heard in a long time, “That would be nice, yeah.”

“Okay, great!... Talk later then!” He waves and leaves the coffee shop, feeling light as a feather and ten years younger.

*****

Sunday rolls around and you spend the morning making sure the place is cleaner than it’s been in weeks. Your place was small but cozy. For a fleeting moment, you’re a little insecure about how modest your apartment is. You don’t know exactly how wealthy pros are when they retire, but you know he’s more familiar with much nicer places than yours. You decide he probably knew just what to expect on a barista’s salary and tried to put it out of your mind. You checked on the cookies baking in the oven. When you found out through your text conversations that he loved chocolate chip cookies with the large chunks of dark chocolate baked in, you went out and bought everything to make them the same day. You kept watching over them like a hawk to avoid burning them. They still looked pretty gooey, so you decided it would be safe to get changed into something a little nicer. Just as you were about to turn the corner into your bedroom, your doorbell rang.

“Shit!” you looked at your phone and sure enough, you let time get away from you. He was here and you were still in your cropped leggings and t-shirt, sporting a messy bun and dirty apron. You groaned as you realized you couldn’t leave him on your doorstep while you changed. Defeated, you hurried to the door.

You opened the door, hoping that you at least didn’t have flour in your hair, and looked up into the much larger man’s eyes. The realization that THE Red Riot was standing this close to you made your stomach flutter and a goofy grin slide across your face. While you stood there star-struck, he broke the silence.

“Wow, it smells amazing in here!”

“Oh!” you jumped a little then promptly ran over to your oven, “Sorry! Please come on in!” you said over your shoulder as you were pulling your oven mitts on. 

Kirishima walked into your cozy apartment and instantly felt at ease. He couldn’t pinpoint just what it was, but something about your place felt more like home than any place he’d ever lived before. As he finished scanning your apartment, his eyes landed on you taking the cookies out of the oven. The comfortable, domestic feel of the place coupled with your ass on full display as you bent down to remove the cookies from the oven had his jeans tightening. You stood up and he averted his gaze before you turned around, not wanting to get caught checking your ass out for a second time.

“Fair warning, I’m not a talented baker by any means,” you removed your oven mitts after placing the cookie sheets on the cooling rack and flashed a sly grin his way, “But when Red Riot tells you what his favorite cookies are… Ya kinda gotta make them, right?”

Oh… If you only knew how pent up this man was… he debated bending you over right then and there and fucking you until you couldn’t walk. He really hit the jackpot with you… a hot, younger woman with the perfect ass who bakes him cookies and for some reason thinks he hung the moon? Kirishima would have given you a ring right then and there if he didn’t think it would scare you off.

“Well,” he radiated warmth as he looked between you and the cookies cooling on the rack, “If you’re not the sweetest thing! I, ahh… might have gotten you a little something too.” he then held up a 6 pack of your favorite cider. “Because when Y/N, L/N tells you what her favorite cider is… Ya kinda gotta get her some.” he winked and you felt your knees buckle and your cheeks burn. You felt like you were in a fairytale.

Then you remembered that the princesses in fairytales definitely did not wear flour-riddled black leggings, old t-shirts, and dirty aprons.

“OH! Umm, I need to go get cleaned up. I’ll only be a minu-” his massive hand wrapped around your wrist as you walked past him. It covered half of your forearm and a shudder ran through you. You wanted those giant hands to roam every inch of your body.

“Please don’t,” his eyes were half-lidded and his voice was low, “...I think you look beautiful like this.” his calloused thumb traced little circles on your skin not meeting your gaze. His deep voice was impossibly tender.

Now that you’d felt his skin on yours, you couldn’t contain your churning desires any longer. You wanted, needed, more. Rising up on your tiptoes, you curled your fist into Kirishima’s shirt collar and pulled his face toward yours.

You felt him tense up for a moment, then relax into the kiss. His massive hands found purchase on your hips, digging into the pliant flesh there. A needy whimper caught in his throat spurring you on to deepen the kiss. 

It was like your bodies were working around each other in perfect harmony… lips parting at a slow pace, like honey dripping from the edge of a spoon and tongues meeting in the middle to taste each other. You both savored the kiss for as long as you could, eyes lazily drifting open and shared breaths causing your hearts to dance out of your chests. 

You saw him falter, his gaze dropping, and you feared that you overstepped. 

“Kirishima I-“

“Ejiro,” he stopped you with a hand against your cheek, “Call me Eijiro…” his thumb caressed your bottom lip slowly, back and forth. His touch held so much devotion in it.

“Eijiro…” you sighed, looking up at him with pleading eyes, “I need you…”

The giant of a man before you swept you up into his arms and began walking down your hallway. You quickly wrapped your arms and legs around his hulking frame as if you were climbing a tree. 

“Second door on the right,” you were panting into his neck, leaving sloppy kisses all over it. 

You blew a cool stream of air along his damp skin and felt him shudder. A giggle bubbled up from your chest at being able to weaken a retired pro-hero known for being a human shield against the worst villains Japan has ever known. Your little stunt resulted in a grunt and a firm, warning squeeze to your thigh.

“So that’s what we’re doing today, huh?” he tosses you on the bed just hard enough to make you bounce up a little… then he’s on you, placing light kisses all along your neck as he prods your sides looking for a ticklish spot. You can’t remember the last time you laughed this hard and the fact that it was your idol drawing it from you made you dizzy with joy.

“Mercy! Mercy!” you were breathless and your abdomen ached from the forceful laughs Ejiro was pulling from you. He blew a raspberry on your neck as a final tease then relented, sitting up to meet your gaze.

You were absolutely smitten. You caressed the lines around his eyes and the scar that split his lips as your eyes roamed across his features. Every crease, every scar… you wanted to kiss them all. When his gaze faltered and he pulled away to sit beside you on the bed, the feeling you’d done something wrong resurfaced. You sat up beside him and placed your hand on his thigh.

“Eijiro…” your voice was barely above a whisper, “I’m sorry, I know I can come on a little strong sometimes, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just…” your eyes meet and his gaze is unreadable.

“No, no…” his ruby eyes drop to the floor, “It’s just that,” he chuckles nervously, “Well, it’s been a while. I’m not very good with casual flings and the like. So I don’t really date much…”

You rise to your feet and move to stand in front of him. Sitting in front of you on your bed, you’re only slightly below eye level with him. You place your tiny hands on his thick thighs and nudge them apart so you can slot your hips between them.

“When I told you that you were my favorite hero,” you reach for his wrist and remove the hair tie from it, “What that actually meant was that I’d watch the news every day just to make sure you were safe.” 

Slender fingers move through his wild mane of silver-flecked hair untangling any knots, “It meant that when that villain with the sludge quirk put you in the hospital for a couple of days, my mom let me stay home from school because I was so distraught,” you pulled all of his untangled hair to the nape of his neck and began wrapping the hair tie around it.

“It meant that my silly sixteen-year-old heart would ache when I saw you hand in hand with a girl in a magazine going out on a date,” you grinned at how silly you felt admitting that. Once his hair was secured in a low ponytail, your hands trailed along his broad shoulders.

“Now that I’ve thoroughly embarrassed myself, I’ll get to the point.” your intense gaze held years of longing for the hero in front of you, “Nothing about this is casual for me.”

Tears pricked the corners of Kirishima’s eyes. Had anyone ever showed him this much tender devotion? All the years he’d taken beating after beating, a glorified human shield, content with leaving most of the game to his friends. He was all rough edges and bulk. He was the one doing the protecting every time. Even in his romantic relationships, he was the one who would give, and give, and give… never asking or expecting to be taken care of. Being handled with such care was utterly foreign to him and it stirred up a deep need he never knew was there.

“Eji…” his glassy eyes met yours, “Can I take care of you?” you sank to your knees, hands sliding up his thighs.

“Please…”

Your hands made quick work of his button and zipper. He shifted his hips upwards to help you ease his jeans down his thick thighs and you pulled his jeans and boxers down in one slow pull. Nothing would have prepared you for just how huge he was. Your eyes widened for a fraction of a second, wondering how you’d get that thing to fit inside your cunt, much less your mouth… but it was something you were eager to find out.

Looking up at him from under your dark lashes, you made a show of lewdly licking your lips. You flattened your tongue and drug the wet muscle from his base right above his neatly trimmed patch of black hair, all the way to the swollen, red tip of his head. You felt the powerful muscles in his thighs clench as his head rolled back and a delicious moan escaped his open mouth. Making your hero come undone with one lick to his cock was intoxicating. 

“Fuck, baby…” Kirishima fisted the sheets praying he wouldn’t come just from your teasing. He’s not sure his pride could handle it. It became a very real threat when he dared to look down at you kissing and licking all up and down his length. Once your mouth had gotten him wet enough, your soft hands joined your warm mouth in worshiping his cock. You met his gaze as you kissed his tip and licked up the pre that was escaping in pearlescent beads. When you had teased him to your contentment, you swallowed him down as deep as your throat would allow, wrapped your hand around his base, and moaned.

Kirishima had many blowjobs in his life. In fact, he’d had some that he would say were pretty amazing… but in all his adult life, he’d never been so thoroughly and enthusiastically devoured like this. He threaded his fingers of one hand in your loose bun and fisted your bed sheets in his other to ground himself. After a minute or two, he felt his release creeping up much faster than he wanted.

He placed his hands on either side of your face causing you to stop bobbing your head and look up at him. He ran his thumb against your swollen bottom lip and you leaned into his tender touch. He bends forward and places a kiss on the top of your head.

“Lay down on the bed,” he whispers into your hair. Nerves starting to catch up to you, you shook slightly as you stood from your spot on the floor. Before you lay down, you remember to take your apron off then lay on your pillows, heart pounding awaiting further instruction.

Kirishima hovers over you reminding you yet again just how tiny you are compared to him. His warm hand covers your knee and slowly travels up your thigh, stopping right before he meets your throbbing core. He runs his hand back down your thigh to gently nudge your knees apart. Leaning on his forearms, he positions himself between your thighs and you gasp at the friction created where your bodies meet. While planting tender kisses on your neck, he whispers, “I need you to promise that you’ll tell me if I need to stop or if something doesn’t feel okay. Can you do that?”

“Y-yes…” you moan as he nibbles on your earlobe, teasing with his sharp teeth but not breaking your skin.

“Mmm,” he places sweet kisses all along your jaw, your breath catching in your throat, “Good girl.”

Receiving praise from him made your chest swell. You wanted nothing more than to please this man you were rapidly falling for. He sat up, legs folded under his body, and slowly slid his hands under the hem of your oversized t-shirt. You felt his hands still on your stomach and looked up from where you were laying on your pillows to see what had made him freeze.

He met your gaze with a devilish grin, “Baby girl…” his thumbs run small circles on your skin, “Did you wear this for me?” 

When you realize what he’s talking about, you hide your face and groan into your hands. You completely forgot that you were still in your old Red Riot t-shirt that you usually slept in. “Oh my god, this is so embarrassing!” you mumbled behind your palms.

Kirishima chuckled and shushed you, “No, no, no… This is the sexiest thing you could have possibly worn.” He pulls the hem of your t-shirt up to expose your tummy, burying his face in the soft skin there. Gentle kisses were placed all along the waistline of your leggings, every squishy part and every little stretchmark that decorated your skin like tiny spiderwebs were lovingly caressed with his plush lips. Having the part of your body you were the most self-conscious of worshiped like this felt more vulnerable than sex.

As the kisses traveled higher, they became sloppier and more desperate. You lifted your arms to allow him to remove your shirt, exposing your plain white cotton bra. The feel of his stubble against your skin as he moaned into your cleavage sent shivers down your body. Instead of paying attention to your neglected nipples, his warm mouth carved a path up the column of your throat, head thrown back to give him as much access as possible.

Kirishima whispered against the tender skin under your earlobe, “This okay, baby?” two large fingers dip into the front of your leggings. You nod enthusiastically, unable to form a coherent answer, “Mmm… I need words, sweet thing. You can do that for me, can’t you?”

“Yes… it’s more than okay,” your chests are touching as he works his hand down the front of your pants.

When Kirishima’s thick fingers slid between your drenched folds, you arched your back and grasped his forearm. Slowly, he spread your slick around, dancing past your clit with each stroke. His teasing was turning you into a whimpering mess underneath him. 

He had all the time in the world and having you melt underneath his touch was the best way he could hope to spend it. After what felt like an eternity of him gently brushing against you, only slightly dipping into your needy hole and barely grazing your clit, you were openly panting and whining. A steady stream of praises flowed from his lips.

“You’re such a pretty girl… such a pretty little pussy.”

“Look at how wet you are for me. Like this, huh? My pretty girl likes my fingers teasing her?”

“I can’t wait to lick my fingers clean. You’re gonna taste so sweet.”

You were so worked up that tears began to form in your eyes, “Eji… I-“

“Hmm? What is it, baby girl? Need something?” His finger drags around your clit slowly, adding a fraction more pressure. 

“Please, I need more Eji,” your nails digging into his forearm were leaving little crescents in his thick skin.

“Sweet girl,” he meets your mouth with a slow, wet kiss, “you can have whatever you want.”

Without hesitation, he sits up and pulls your leggings down with your panties. A groan rattles his large chest when he sees a thread of your slick attached to the crotch. Once his face is buried in between your thighs, it’s a real possibility he might come just from eating you out. 

All the teasing had brought him to the edge as well and he was out of patience. With a few hurried kisses to each thigh, he dove into your dripping cleft. His tongue plunged into your core as he nudged his nose into your puffy clit. 

You cry out and convulse around his face. His arms wrap around your thighs, firmly but gently holding your legs open to give him full access to eat you as thoroughly as possible. When he moves to suck your clit, you know you won’t last much longer. As he nurses on your sensitive nub, you feel the familiar tightening in your lower body. He picks up on this and moans into your skin as he greedily sucks. 

“Ahh… Ahh, I’m- I’m gonna….”

“Oh that’s it,” he encourages you by praising you and massaging your thighs in his massive hands, “let me have it, baby girl. Come on, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

Your toes curl and back arches as you’re thrown over the edge. “Oh FUCK!! Coming, coming…. ooooh god… ahh D-daddy!…”

“Daddy, is it? Goddamn”

Kirishima felt his dick twitch and his breath caught in his throat.

He wipes his face on the back of his hands and makes a show of licking his fingers clean as he leans over you, nose touching yours.

“What was that baby?” His voice was strained as he pressed his dick into the warm, damp skin of your thigh…

You bat your lashes and ghost your lips over his as you whisper, “Daddy… please let me ride you. I need you inside me.” The nail in Kirishima’s coffin was when you licked his bottom lip then quickly followed with a chaste kiss.

You waste no time wrapping your thighs around his waist and twisting. He follows your lead and lays flat on his back letting you straddle him. You grab the hem of his shirt and similarly tease him, leaving a trail of kisses along his broad stomach. Kirishima flinches a little, self-conscious of his skin and how soft his middle had gotten over the years. You meet his eyes as you pull his shirt over his broad shoulders and run your hands back down his body. 

“Mmm, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” hands and eyes roamed over the expanse of skin in front of you, “It’s even better than in my dreams.”

He wondered for the hundredth time how got this lucky. You really loved his body? Maybe… maybe he wasn’t in as bad of shape as he thought…

“No,” his hands rubbed your hips, kneading your soft skin, “You’re better than I’d ever hoped to find.” He sits upon the headboard and pulls you closer into his lap, “Now,” he pulls your hair free of the messy bun, “Can you be a good girl and come on my cock?”

You lift your hips and place his tip at your entrance. That alone caused a delicious stretch and you knew it would be a slow process getting him to fit comfortably.

“Yes, Daddy,” your hands wrapped around his neck and he growled as he pulled you into a rough kiss.

“Good fuckin girl.” 

He helped lower you onto his cock with lots of kisses, praises, and gentle squeezes. When you got closer to his base, the pain was too much for a moment. Kirishima used his thumb to rub circles into your clit, shushing you sweetly against your parted mouth. 

“Are you okay, baby?” He brushes your hair off your sweaty forehead with his free hand while his other is still working your clit over.

“Yes, Daddy,” you whisper, “You fill me up so well. I love your massive cock filling me up.”

“You’re gonna make me crazy, you know that? Huh?” He pulls your lower lip into his mouth and sucks. You both sit for a while, exchanging kisses and whispers while you adjust to his girth.

“Are you ready to move now, sweet girl?” 

“Yes, Daddy…” he helps you move, dragging your hips up and down his shaft.

After a few deep thrusts, you both increase your pace, matching each other’s movements. It’s not long before your head is thrown back, tears escaping the corners of your eyes. Loud moans and curses escape your mouth as one nipple is pulled into Kirishima’s mouth.

“Oh, Daddy! Fuck, fuck! Right there, right there… I… I’m… AHH!” Before you can even say anything, you’ve come undone, spasming around his cock. 

“Oh, good girl, good fuckin girl,” you go limp and bury your face into his neck while he slams your hips onto his, chasing his release. The feeling of him using your body to get off makes you dizzy with joy. You lean into his ear whispering, “Please come inside me. Wanna feel you come inside me, Daddy… please, need your come inside me, Daddy.” 

Your slurred pleas against his ear send him over the edge into a mind-numbing orgasm. As he comes down from his high and looks into your face full of adoration, he knows he’s caught… hook, line, and sinker. 

*****

The rest of the evening is spent eating cookies on your couch, drinking cider, and watching your favorite crime drama. The sweet kisses and touches sprinkled throughout the night feel so natural… Like you’ve been together for years instead of hours. 

You end up with Kirishima’s head in your lap, running your fingers through his hair as he closes his eyes and relaxes into your touch. The clock on your wall reads 12:30 am and it dawns on you what day it officially is.

“Eji?”

“Hmm?” He opens one eye and reaches up to scratch your scalp. 

“Will you be my valentine?” You bite your bottom lip to stifle a silly grin.

He sits up and pulls you into a bear hug. 

“What kinda silly question is that? Of course. I don’t ever want another valentine besides you.”

Your heart explodes and you kiss him, grabbing his cheeks in both hands. 

“Sixteen-year-old me is absolutely losing her shit right now,” you giggle, rubbing his nose with yours.

“Well,” he grabs your ass and raises an eyebrow, “Forty-two-year-old me is losing his shit right now over finding such a sweet girl with such a sweet ass on her,” he nips at your neck and you squeal.

“Ooh, you ready for another round, old man?”

He growls and throws you over his shoulder. A swift spank to your ass causes you to burst into a fit of laughter. 

“Oh, so I’m dealing with a brat now? You want me to show you what this old man does to little brats?” He squeezes your thighs as he makes his way to the bedroom. 

“But I’m your good girl! Remember?!”

“Yeah, yeah… We’ll see about that.”