#then came home and finished my book
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I have this whole week off and it will mostly be used for house decorating but I decided to make today my treating myself day and it has felt sooo luxurious
#woke up lateish and stayed in bed until it was properly late#had a homemade brownie cookie for breakfast and continued reading the book i started in bed last night#walked into town for my ultimate special occasion treat (the ridiculously expensive but delicious starbucks beyond meat breakfast sandwich)#and a fancy iced coffee which i had whilst reading some more in the park on the way home#then came home and finished my book#my evening will probably be less luxurious (emptying the dishwasher + cooking dinner + walking the dog once it's cooled off outside)#but for now this is the most relaxing day off i've had in forever#talking
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It’s just hero-worship—right?!
#mdzs#wei wuxian#mo xuanyu#xianyu#LET WWX BE TALL#i read the book only once a while back so my memories are hazy#but for some reason my brain decided og!wwx was nearly as tall as lwj and he was abt 30 when he died the first time 🤷🏻♀️#and then came his twinkification via mxy#different generations I know#but what if they managed to overlap… 👀#ive been oddly fascinated by this ship recently#started this at home finished it in the car#hence a few weird lookin lines 👀#mdzs art#my art
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when I was 12 I was sick and missed a science test. when I was back at school the teacher told me I could make it up after class but it completely slipped my mind and I went home on the bus
the next day I went to the teacher to apologize and tell her I could stay after that day if it was still okay and before I could she was like “You saw the zero in the grade book” in such a matter of fact way
I, in fact, had not looked at the grade book?? I had no idea that she’d put a zero in for my test. I was just a distractible kid with undiagnosed ADHD who… forgot to stay after school because my usual routine was to get on the bus
I didn’t say that of course. I just nodded in absolute befuddlement and then stayed to take my test that day
I’m much older than 12 now but I still remember my confusion and shame and the bolt of momentary panic before she told me she would let me do the test and I’m like. idk. it kind of stuck with me. I was 12. I was a pretty good student otherwise, yeah distractible but in a quiet “doodle on every paper near me” and “has two to three books on hand at any given time so I don’t get bored” kind of way.
I think even after all these years I still don’t understand why she felt like she had to scare me
#my posts#i need to go to bed idk why I’m thinking about this#anyway fuck you ms clark#I DIDNT see the zero#I came of my own free will to own up to a mistake#that I (a TWELVE YEAR OLD) made on autopilot#idk something about her tone#even if I WAS a ‘bad kid’ I didn’t deserve that#she didn’t like when I finished work and would read my books#I don’t think she liked when I doodled on my homework or tests either#one of my least favourite science teachers#it was like our second class of the day or something#and I had ALL DAY to forget about it#I think even a non-adhd kid would have easily forgotten tbh#she stayed after school every day it wasn’t like she would have gone home early if not for me#I went in there to apologize of my own free will#without any external pressure#and idk maybe the fact that she assumed I only did that bc I saw a zero rubbed me the wrong way
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I'm just so thriving today
#finished my chapter. did a great yoga video. went to the county library and picked up hilary mckay books#took said books to the bakery and had a turmeric latte and danish and read the beginning of the Institutes slowly and peacefully#came home in the sunset light and my roommates were putting christmas lights on the porch!!#hand me downs from our old roommate. so now our house is sooo cute and cheerful#bout to eat sourdough with honey lavender goat cheese and a pear and turkey and chocolate and peanut butter#and go to bed early. it shall be so it shall be so it shall be so.#oh and i got the cutest picture of my mom and dad at their anniversary dinner texted to me in response to my happy house pic
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After very little research into the other writings of Laura Ingalls Wilder and Rose Wilder Lane, my hypothesis about the Little House authorship question is that the writing is mostly Rose's, but the heart is Laura's.
In Laura's newspaper columns, the parts that sound most like Little House mostly come from the extracts she shares from Rose's letters (incidentally, it's kind of adorable how proud she is of Rose: "My daughter's in France!", "My daughter's in Albania!", etc.) The prose of Old Home Town, Rose's inspired-by-my-childhood-home novel, has some of the same concise descriptive prose that I've come to associate with the Little House style (I could hear passages in the voice of the Little House audiobook narrator).
Yet the Little House soul is all over Laura's columns. She's fascinated by the simple tasks of life, believes in home and family and hard work, believes in holding onto the goodness of childhood and looking forward with hope toward the future. There's an optimism, almost a romanticism, about life. The children's series that bears her name clearly comes from the same woman.
Rose, by contrast, is much more pessimistic. When writing about childhood, she's almost cynical about the life of a small town. She highlights the dark stories underlying the wholesome exterior, is extremely sensitive to the pitfalls of the social scene around her. Part of the difference is that Rose is writing for adults, but there does seem to be an essential difference in the personality behind the pen, despite the stylistic similarities to Little House.
(At the risk of pop psychoanalyzing people long dead, Rose seems much more neurotic and introverted and sensitive than her mother. In her writings and in the books about her childhood in Missouri, she comes across as child of a fairly comfortable modern life, with all the modern anxieties, in contrast to a woman who grew up starving on the prairie and knows that there are much worse things to endure than small-town gossip).
It's not much of a thesis, but I'm just fascinated by the fact that the Little House series can share so many stylistic similarities with Rose's writings, yet feel so much more like Laura.
#little house#laura ingalls wilder#rose wilder lane#i did not finish old home town because it came uncomfortably close to deal-breaking swearing and i don't feel like dealing with that#but the book was interesting in its way#rose clearly has an agenda about women's rights#but in focusing so heavily on social justice it loses a lot of heart#if the mother is supposed to be based in any way on laura she's a bit harsh as a mother#though more open-minded than her neighbors#(always standing up for the gossiped-about women)#rose's stand-in (i'm going to assume it's a stand-in because cranford has trained me to assume#(that any first-person narrator in a book based on the author's childhood hometown is a self-insert)#kind of disappears into the background#and it's very tempting to consider how the woman who made her living as a ghostwriter disappeared behind others' stories#(also this book unfortunately seems to confirm that almanzo was a mason)#(sorry mom)#(seeing the freemason symbol on pa's grave was my most terrifying moment as a catholic little house fan)#(i'm pretty sure my mom threw holy water on it)#(took me a few years to get over that)#(now i've just accepted that american history is full of freemasons)#(and as long as she's not spouting anti-catholic propaganda her books are fair game)
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happy halloween but also a big happy birthday to diavolo!
#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc.#HALLOWEEN CAME FIRST BUT MY CARR.D IS ALMOST FINISHED. had to take an emergency trip to a hardware store last night 🥲#I SEE THEY BROUGHT BOOPING BACK??? BRO my mutuals know I don't play around with boops.#Hoping between work I'll get as many people as possible like before#We do partake in booking wars here so do not feel like you're being left out.#might have to do it on main till I get home though mobile tumblr finicky about offering boops on dash 😭😭
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Ow
#I came home from work and immediately sat to try and for more books on my bookshelf and finish my proper catalogue#I'll definitely post the link to my spreadsheet on my sideblog when it's done#but rn it's time for a break and sitting outside#I just gotta finish eating dinner before I go outside to chill and vape
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hey tell my why, looking at my f/o list, every one of these bitches are renegades
#give or take a few but#the doctor and master? renegade time lrods#aziraphale and crowley? GOIN THEIR OWN WAY#EDDIE SNEAKING INTO THE LIFE FOUNDATION??? LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABT FRANK????#RADITZ (IN MY AU) ???????????#and kinda boba. hes just doing whatever#GHGFDGH#d; youre a book thats not quite finished but ill watch you fill the page#m; ive been fooled many times; but you seem to truly be mine#ac; as sure as god made black and white#r; sometimes it helps to forget where we came from#b; youre still the only light that fills the emptiness#f; im taking your girl and making her mine#e; cant your heart find its home in me?#FUCK thats a lot of tags#raditz
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"Carlos, if you could just pause your experiment for a second--if you could only hear me out, hear my hypothesis! I think once you understand the science of the situation, you--" Carlos opened the door. He was crying. She had never seen him cry. He was overwhelmed and unsure of how to express his emotions, since he usually only did so in carefully worded sentences, not with water from his body. "The science of the situation?" he snarled. "That Otherworld. I was trapped there, Nilanjana. I couldn't see Cecil for ten lonely years. I was kept away from the people I love, in that desolate place where you never get hungry and you never have to drink water and so you never live. It is a place that devours. It is a place that is empty. That is the science of the situation, and I study it so I can fix it. Only I can do that. Only these experiments can do that. I'm sorry, Nilanjana; I'm not going to stop so you can tell me what science is."
🫠
#Tyto listens to WtNV#spoiler warning I guess for a book that came out a few years ago now#anyway yeah hi I finished the book#the resolutions to the plot and to Nils' character arc were pretty good. nothing to write home about but fun and serviceable#I personally get annoyed whenever a story pulls a ''you thought this romance would end with these two TOGETHER? lol NOPE''#like we get it it's more realistic for whirlwind romances to end in a breakup and sometimes it's better for people to just stay friends#but firstly this isn't real life; it's fiction. with narrative devices and such.#and secondly WtNV of all media does NOT get to preach about realistic relationship trajectories when its lead fell in love at first sight#lmao I'm just saying. I'm not MAD about it or anything it just made me roll my eyes.#ANYWAY. that aside: it was good. and I do genuinely like the friendship Nilanjana builds up with Darrell at the end#but obviously the real star of the show was Carlos and the completely unprecedented character depth that they smothered him in.#not ONLY recontextualizing over a year's worth of the podcast but ALSO saddling him with LAYERS of guilt over the events in this book#he *KILLED* the *GODDAMN* *CENTIPEDE*#after his beautiful little speech about not killing things just because we don't understand them!#he was just SO traumatized by his time in the Otherworld and SO afraid for his family after Janice nearly got Got that he KILLED IT!!!#and THEN!!!! not only do they find out that the centipede wasn't responsible for the destruction!!#but it turns out it was HIS OWN MACHINE THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#his attempts to keep everyone safe were what actually caused the danger!!!! AUGH HE WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP#HE'S JUST SCARED AND HE WANTS EVERYONE TO BE SAFE AND NOT EXPERIENCE THE SAME HORRORS HE DID AUGHDUSHGHDH#...anyway yeah back to my regularly scheduled episode listening tomorrow
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i've seen a couple of tiktoks now of kids talking about reading mark of athena, being so upset about the ending, and then having to wait a few days to go out to the bookstore or to the local library to get house of hades and being affronted by that dedication and i'm like man. kids these days. they don't know how good they have it.
#try reading moa THE DAY IT CAME OUT and having to wait A YEAR. A YEAR!!!!! and seeing that dedication. that man is sick and twisted.#i was lucky in a way bc my dad was reading the books too so even though he told me we wouldn't be able to get the book immediately#when i got home from school that day after begging him in the car to go straight to the bookshop and him refusing#there was a copy of hoh on my bed waiting for me <3#he also bought himself a copy bc he didn't wanna wait for me to finish it like he'd done with moa lol
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It feels so genuinely strange to feel at peace after being in crisis mode for so many years. My therapist said it takes, on average, 2 years for the results of (C-)PTSD recovery to made visible and I'm right on target for it; it's just. I feel okay and it's starting to sink in.
Good things have happened this year and they don't feel like they're gonna be taken away, I've met very good people and they don't feel out of my grasp. I'm actually getting to know myself, seeing what my autism wants from the world, the candles and incense and sprays pointing me towards sensory seeking (and that's okay!), the special interest in music pulling me in all directions (and that's okay!), spending lots of time reading and changing up what I was taught constitutes a meal by breaking it down (and that's okay!).
I don't actively dislike my field of work, have hobbies I engage in, friends I engage with, a vehicle the same year I got my license, I feel like I'm breathing for the very first time.
I'm okay, and it's starting to really feel that way.
#i've been thinking about this a lot lately. that i feel okay. i came home after closing with the pharmacy and sat down with a book#i had some food cobbled together for something to have before bed bc i need to get groceries today#i might finish my book today and i have so many more to pick from; considering re-opening comms in a few days too#it's just. i feel like i'm beginning to take up space in my own life and now that i'm doing that i want to take as much as possible#i want everything i can grab onto and it's exciting!! sometime this month marked 2 years since i dropped off that letter to my parents#about why i left and was cutting contact and. everything i have done since then. the new stuff and the new friends and the general autonomy#oh the autonomy! being a person on my own! acting in my interests and being allowed to be silly bc it makes me happy#happy to have more books more mugs more candles.. i'm starting to actually get to know myself and it's something i've never had a chance#to actually do; i see myself. i see him#i see him and i love him.#shai speaks
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well! bye everyone i'm off to re-read my fav book trilogy of all time that i havent read since their original releases when i was a teenager and also finally get to read the prequel that i never got around to reading for the first time so. i'll see u guys on the other side and by other side i mean i'll see u guys when i re-emerge into society drenched in blood and tears rambling about all the new mental evidence i will have collected for my years-long headcanon that Katniss is autistic and sobbing about how many more details of the whole story i understand on a more profound and deep level than my teenage self was capable of processing properly
#also idk if its visible in this pic but the covers for all of these#have that awesome multi-textured thing where the text and graphic design is slightly raised and has a sort of gilded shimmery effect to it#and its so so pretty!!! these are my own brand new copies im so happy to finally have the whole series after such a long time#i wanna re-watch the movies with my moms once i finish reading everything too cus its been a while and also#i never got around to seeing either of the Mockingjay movies when they came out#(my own horrible life events got in the way of that unfortunately and also my at the time untreated adhd)#so even though i've always loved the books more cus thats just kind of. a pretty standard book-to-movie enjoyment level thing i feel like#i did like what i saw of the first two ESPECIALLY Catching Fire i really like that movie#when i first read Mockingjay it messed me up for such a long time afterwards cus this whole series hits so fucking close to home with me#from Katniss' POV especially in the books. so i have no idea what i will eventually think of the movie versions of that#since that book has never left my head as one of my favorite things i've ever read so far in my life. i love u suzanne collins#ANYWAYS IM EXCITED this will be my first time reading these as an adult!!! wooo the horrors!!! the existential dread!!!
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last night in this house... sleeping on air mattresses... still have leftover bits of stuff to move out in the morning.... so odd
#personal#rip bc the other house we were gonna move into is uninhabitable lmao#the tenants uhh lowkey trashed it 8)#like. the walls are coated in mysterious residue#all floors are dirty some are weirdly sticky#just random weird things are broken- they fucked up several blinds one of which looks like. some animal chewed on the string or sth 8)#so yeah we were gonna like clean and lightly redo some stuff but it needs a full remodel#so we don't know where we're gonna live for a bit 8)#maybe a hotel but all of the larger extended stay suites are apparently already booked#and the former tenant is after my parents to return their full deposit. bro the place looks like a before in a fixer upper home remodel sho#they were like we lived here 7 yrs paid you xxxxxx in rent probably paid half your mortgage (as a reason to return their full deposit)-#bro that's just the agreement you made when renting not a favor you're doing... like you left the place nowhere near same or similar#condition. and the sheer amount of damage canNOT be 'regular tear and wear'#it's a fuckton of tear and wear at best#like. random shelves and bits inside the fridge are broken too#we lived in our current house like 9 yrs or sth and yeah it's worn down but there isn't trashed blinds and gross residue everywhere#they apparently paid a cleaner but there's only so much a cleaner can do lol like you gotta just knock it back and redo it#the buyers of this place were being annoying too lmao they came on Monday for what we thought slash were told was a walkthru#but like obv we hadn't finished moving out yet cuz today was the big move...#and they brought their agent and a contractor and we like let them look around and answered q#and then today. they had the gall. to insist they be let in for a 'real' walk thru tmr at 7am#7am??#also bro we're not done moving out fully yet and tbh we won't be at 7am tmr!#anyway we pushed back bc wtf they literally already came thru several times the guy even wanted a second inspection and he came here for it
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today was a good day ^w^ i took a test (went well), almost finished a book in one sitting (too sleepy to finish) and wrote three pages of nightowl self ship stuff <3
#in teh tags bc i dunno how long this is gonna get#had science test today and i was anxious while writing it but while reviewing i thought i did p good!#came home and napped hehe#and i read a book#first time in a loooong while i've sat down and p much finished a book (30 pages left)#it's the ocean at the end o fthe lane by neil gaiman#and i felt so relaxed reading it (even though it's not the most relaxing book)#felt like time slowed down and warped to my wishes#AND THE NIGHTOWL THING AHHHH#i love him sm#i love what i wrote#snake::fromsnake'sdiary
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I was on the phone to Sophia from like 5pm till 5:20 and so I asked if the weather would stay alright because I had tentative plans for dinner and she's like "oh, dinner. With your parents?" and I'm like no and then idk she asked male or female and I said male and she's like "oooh male, interesting!!" and then she asked if he's nice and idk my brain short circuited, like I'm thinking "what do you mean is he nice, you'd know" but of course she has no idea so I'm like "yeah he's really nice" and
#anyway we might try that sugo place tomorrow#idk I've been wanting to sugo ever since i came to molevern and had to see the sign every time i went to molevern Central#i really shouldn't be discussing personal life with my boss shhhh#today was just so fkn weird#like being at home all day did something to my brain#i listened to podcasts and i definitely didn't have enough work so i listened to Taylor and read my book and#the morning was just waiting for the IT guy to set up the remote access which took till 12pm lmao#i finished Britney's book!!!!!!#I'm onto a liane Moriarty book now#the one with the triplets#idk could be interesting it was real cheap on ibooks#plus i feel diving into another autobiography is too much#i even got to write another chapter for my Ginni eras story while waiting for the IT guy#i can be productive!!!!#well i would've liked to do some CPA study but because i was using the remote access it meant there wouldn't be any sound on the videos#sigh
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18+ mdni
lewd visual link!! (twitter)
cw: free use, oral
Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3
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You’re laying on top of your bed reading your favorite book, you’re so immersed in the fictional world you don’t hear the click of your door open, your boyfriend just came home from a long day at the office. Having to be professional all day has always exhausted him and you know exactly how he likes to unwind, you jump slightly as you come back to reality at the touch of his fingers on the back of your bare thigh, “shh, it’s just me baby,” his deep voice instantly soothes your nerves.
Goosebumps form all over your body as his hands wander up, he palms your ass through your skirt before lifting it up to expose your bare ass, a soft breath falls from his lips, “such a good girl, always keeping yourself accessible.” He praises, noting your lack of under garments. “Looks like that little pussy is already wet for me.” You hear the soft thud of his knees hitting the floor and can’t help but let out a soft yelp as he pulls your lower half towards the edge of the bed. You can feel your clit throbbing with anticipation as his breath ghosts across your aching core, that book you were reading is long forgotten.
A needy whimper leaves your mouth as his tongue makes contact with your cunt, your legs tremble from the immediate pleasure that courses through your body, the vibrations of his hums of satisfaction sends shocks of pleasure to your clit. “I’ve been thinking about this all day, my favorite meal.” He says against your flesh and begins to devour your core with hunger, your brain completely turns off as your body is taken over by pleasure. His tongue knows your body better than you do, every little flick sends you closer to the edge. You reach around and grip a handful of his hair as you feel yourself start to come, your whole body shakes violently when you go over the edge. He holds you steady as he finishes lapping up your juices before slowly pulling back, “I needed that, baby, thank you.” He says softly and places a soft kiss on your ass cheek before pulling your skirt back down, standing up, and getting on the bed beside you.
#natti’s 18+#eddie munson x reader#steve harrington x reader#remus lupin x reader#benedict bridgerton x reader#anthony bridgerton x reader#x reader#smut#james potter x reader#sirius black x reader#bobby nash x reader#evan buckley x reader#eddie diaz x reader#dean winchester x reader#rafe cameron x reader#jj maybank x reader#howard han x reader#bucky barnes x reader#steve rogers x reader#aaron hotchner x reader#spencer reid x reader#peeta mellark x reader#finnick odair x reader#sam winchester x reader#castiel x reader#gojo x reader#satoru x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader
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