#then I thought If I am ever to finish the 100 Situations challenge this needs to be in it

[zward95]

Withering

Medical Neglect, Insurance, SOS

I'm writing to share this story for a couple reasons I feel need to be addressed. While I do need help of many kinds, and do ask for it here: HELP, SOS, accepting any and all help. I believe I will need to seek a medical lawyer or something. BUT, I also know that I am very privileged to be in the position of being able to write, think, ask for help, have support, to make calls, have insurance, and advocate for myself. Privileged in being educated in these specific fields and how to better navigate them. Privileged in being youngish and healthy enough to heal, able to cut out other substances, being able to live with family and work out and have back-up medicine (prednisone) to stay alive when that once was the only option; which is more than many others in history and across the globe, on top of having ongoing family support. I'm lucky in ALL those parts, and yet …  

I am being arbitrarily denied a life saving medicine, Stelara, which I had before; and slowly being left to feel my health wither without the ability to control it, while nearing what I thought was the end of this two year long adventure of fighting Crohns, Covid, C.Diff, and my colon. For all the work and luck and support, the decisions for my health have been taken from me, taken from my doctors, taken from the pharmacy, and are being held up by an insurance company (Ambetter from MHS) refusing to take appropriate action, and lying to me and my care team about it. 

I know for 100% certainty that my story, while bad, is not stand-alone. Too often these situations end with sickness that slowly eats away at the person and the stories don't get told or get lost in the grief which that family eventually deals with; and those experiences don't often get spoken to the public, and are rarely considered when talking about the dangers of our medical system, and of medical neglect, mismanagement, and negligence. The final results lead to a slow withering quiet sick passing, with promises of support while waiting on-hold to explain your issue to the next representative. I share my story because I genuinely don't know what else to do, and because I know I'm not alone in this kind of tragedy, one which is felt by a vast swath of people, which is a tragedy in and of itself.  

While my experiences with the problems of insurance and medical accessibility go back over a decade now, my recent issues are related to nearly making it to the end of multiple surgeries finishing in a full colectomy. Since my follow-up surgery in December, I have been cleared by the surgeon, everything has gone well and healed effectively. I’ve put on more muscle and been in the gym more frequently, so it's clear that I have the potential to heal, and things should be trending up. However, I still have not received my primary medication to manage the Crohn’s disease at all throughout this time. This is a medication that is supposed to be given every 8 weeks to manage ongoing inflammatory response and Crohn’s symptoms; the disease which caused the need to have surgery… which has not been given since Nov 7, 2023.

I had to change insurance at the beginning of January, so it can be expected to be a challenge, but they ignored the requests from my doctors office and pharmacy, and we later learned there had been an issue with auto-filling my insurance info with a previous plan. Ridiculous but understandable. Throughout February there were multiple calls to try and address the issue, but it was rejected repeatedly, with neither notice being sent to the GI doctor or to me, nor an explanation as to why that’s the case. In the first week of March, I was hospitalized in the ER for a day with severe pain, swelling, inflammation, and Crohn’s related symptoms, which has ever since been treated with steroids, prednisone, which are not meant to be long term treatment. 

It was after this that my doctor and I began pursuing getting the medicine especially seriously, but with no luck. Even after covering the ER visit, the medication has been denied repeatedly. Appeals have been requested which were denied. Further urgent appeals for emergency requests were submitted, but rejected as being urgent. And most recently, I was told that none of those appeals were in their system, and would have to have my doctor contact them again to submit information; directly counter to the conversation I had with the GI nurse, blatantly lieing.  I have since gotten set up with the manufacturer of the medication for a copay assistance program, and next will be reaching out to try and get it directly; but it is clear that this is wrong. I am insured and have had coverage. I was previously on this medication and have a history of it escalating to this and responding effectively to it. Even financially, the cost of covering my hospitalization for THIS EXACT PROBLEM, ends up being greater than the cost of giving me the medication which would prevent it. This should not be the case, and it makes no sense to me.

 Part of me really just wants to get my medication and to find an escape from this trap of being given just enough medicine to stay alive, but not enough to reach true health and begin life anew and find stability; BUT another part is furious that it has now been over 3 months of medical neglect that has resulted in another hospitalization, and unknown damage due to inflammation and lack of treatment and that this is something that should be fought. Should be held up for examination and reflection of a broken system that is leaving people to slowly die. Somehow, Ambetter and all health insurance companies should be held accountable

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Tuesday, March 5th, 2024!

1:07am: Just going to keep journaling so I don't go insane. My ex keeps jerking me around and I can't continue to care. He's so wrapped up in his own emotion, he will never be capable of actually being a good friend. He never asks if I'm ok or tries to make casual conversation, it's just all about him and his constant state of drama. I just can't relate to him anymore and I can't continue on the way I've been trying to. There's literally not much I can control or change about this situation, I can only be responsible for how I react to it I guess.

On another note, I finished my laundry! Tomorrow I will get up, take a shower, shaving is not necessary I just need to clean myself so literally no pressure. Drink some water, take my vitamin, hang out with my cats. Probably take a tums bc my farts are DEADLY rn and I don't know why RIP. If I do shave it would probably just be my coochie tbh. Some light weed whacking lmao. If I keep farting like rotten eggs I'm definitely not making any man plans tomorrow 🤣 I cantttttt haha

I think tomorrow I might clean out my closet now that it's clean?? There's so many items I never wear tbh. Maybe shave up to my knees and get a pedicure?? Maybe go on FB marketplace or thrift for some nightstand things or some dollar tree cubbies for this stuff I've had on the floor forever. I just randomly remembered my coats are in my trunk and I feel like I'm gonna forget where they are. Maybe return those things to the library omg and go to bath n body works and get real deodorant and laundry detergent

So many thoughts going through my mind omg I just had diarrhea while writing this 😭 please go away tummy problems. I wonder if it was me pounding tajin with my margarita I literally don't know.

I need to figure out where I wanna take myself out to before the show tomorrow! Aaaaa so many possibilities!! This week has already been so perfect and it's not over yet! I love my life! It's so crazy to love my life after going through so much trauma but here I am, stronger than ever!! :) I'm so proud of myself ❤️

8:57am: Nah tell me why I got on tinder this morning (early bird 🤣) and damn these guys are just ehh. Idk how tf I'm ever gonna take any of them seriously again. I'm just pretty hardened after everything, not really in a bad way, but in a needed way if you ask me. I feel like I don't know what I'm looking for lol I feel like if you know what you're looking for, you go out and pursue it?? But idk so it's more challenging. Tbh I just want to have fun like I'm in my fboi era fr. Curving dudes when they get serious n shit 💀

9:40am: ok time to get up lmao. I'll find a guy eventually so actually no rush 🤣 I got my two little furry boys and that's what really matters. I want to get all gussied up today just bc I can. Lil man bawling his eyes out not being able to speak to me anymore bc he knows he fucked up is a crazy way to live. Having to live with the guilt of cheating on someone.... Couldn't be me 🙄😂

I get to continue my life knowing that I'm a bomb af gf and anyone would be damn lucky to have me (once they get to know me!) if I don't meet people then they'll never know! I got ppl who don't even speak English wanting another date fr.

11:02pm: I'm just gonna keep shooting my shot until something sticks I think. I really do believe it's a numbers game anymore, if you talk to 0 ppl or put all your eggs into 1 basket likeeee you're not going to get far and it's gonna take 500 years, 100 years to even get a date at that rate. I wanna be like that girl who went on what 50 dates in a year?? Like go off queen 💅 at least you'll have 50 stories to tell if nothing else haha, plus I need the practice ong.

I like the journaling instead of trying to text him, it's so much better. N+T were right, he just needs to learn his lesson, that's so sad your friend literally had to say that about his best man like if my MOH turned out to be a flaming bag of shit like how embarrassing (for the POS) and seriously sad and fucked up :( .

[dreamofthe-wild]

20 Questions for Writers

Tagged by @faelynny (nerd) 1. How many works do you have on AO3? 33 as of this post. 2. What's your total AO3 word count? 35,905, it seems low for the amount of works i've posted, but I have some old 100-300 word drabble challenges posted and a few crack fics.

3. What fandoms do you write for? I used to write for Linked Universe (LOZ), but I don't anymore. Right now I am writing actively for Genshin Impact and I have some unposted Fire Emblem Three Houses fics in the works.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? - some things can't be solved by being cut with a sword (376) - you probably couldn't see for the lights but you were staring straight at me (234) - if i had a boy (207) - mighty pumpkin soup for the soul (194) - pouring out a cold one for your homie (170) (all are Linked Universe)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to when I can, if I can come up with an answer then 9 times out of ten I will respond. Sometimes I even just comment to thank them for reading. I won't be holding conversation threads much though.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? There are definitely angstier ones that haven't been posted, but I'd say probably you mean nothing to me, it has an ending where essentially one of the characters sacrifices himself to bring back the rest of his team from the dead and wishes he had never met them to spare him the heartache, it ends with him dying alone and with regrets.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? It's not posted yet, but my Genshin Fic "Our Converging Paths", after a tense battle, the characters end up bonding on their way back home.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I have before, but no one can hate my fics as much as I do /hj/jk I just kinda delete the comments and block, because if my fic is causing them that much distress that they need to comment that, then maybe it's for the best that they can't interact with it anymore. /lh

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do not, but the closest I've gotten is writing a crack fic about how a character's ass jiggles.

10. Do you write crossovers? I may have one or two in the works but they aren't my favorite, I generally like to write things that could be plausible in canon, where canon has left things unfortunately empty.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes but it was way before my ao3 account, on wattpad someone was stealing my fic and I ended up just deleting my account lol.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I wouldn't say no.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, but none have ever been finished or posted.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? I don't ship things very often, and can probably count my ships across all fandoms on just my two hands, but right now my all-time favorite ship would have to be Dimitri/Claude (fire emblem)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I was working on a fic about the First Link and Hylia and it turned into a cool medieval political drama with heavy fantasy elements, but I don't think it will ever get done.

16. What are your writing strengths? I have been told I'm really good at dialogue and banter.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Finishing fics lol/hj I'd say seriously that being descriptive of the environment is very hard, I can describe a wound or a situation fairly decently, but trying to make the world exist and not make it feel like this is happening in some dark void is difficult.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I never have, because I only know English, but if it is done well and not just some random google translated phrases thrown into a fic at random, I think it can add a lot to a story.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Technically my first fanfiction was about Hetalia. But, I've basically wiped my old fanfics' existence from history, so now I suppose I could say Linked Universe.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written? It is still in progress, I have a story about Dimitri that will come out eventually, but I haven't been able to work on it recently, I don't know who to tag lol I don't use tumblr really that often.

[hopeassassin]

Condemned

This almost devolved into something it shouldn’t have. As always, like clockwork. But this is basically a song fic, so I said to myself NO. You are NOT doing this again.

So here we go.

Inspired by Florence and the Machine’s “Heavy in Your Arms”.

A re-write of the pre-Rakuzan/Touou InterHigh match AoMomo argument, reimagined and with a different twist.

Title: “Condemned” on AO3 Word Count: 6069 Summary: She lifts her head to look into his eyes with the most intense glare he has ever been the recipient of. Satsuki's magenta eyes are sparking with anger, accusation and disdain.

Although looks cannot in fact kill, a part of Daiki certainly dies when their gazes lock.

"I hate you so much that if I could only live without you, I would kill you myself, with my own hands."

Daiki learns quickly about the fact he’s taken out of the Rakuzan/Touou match line up because of Satsuki and what she’s said to coach.

Because, of course she has. 

Who else would notice what he tries to hide if not her? Who else would stick their neck out for him if not Satsuki?

He doesn’t seem to see it the same way though. He doesn’t say anything during practice when he’s told but she can see in his face that he’s livid. 

He takes his duffel bag and storms out without a word to anybody but she can feel in her bones that he has a lot to say. 

She knows better and doesn’t want to get in the middle of that before he works through it. So she stays at practice dutifully that day, despite the fact that all the other team members keep throwing her these furtive, worried looks.

Still, there’s only so long she can procrastinate the inevitable. She has to rip it off like a bandaid and she will need to confront Daiki about this. She has to at least try to make him see things the way they are—see them her way.

She finds him in his room. 

Sulking, seething. 

She almost doesn’t want to open her mouth and speak because she’s sure this will get very unsightly very fast.

Then again, she knew it from the moment he hid from the coach and acted as if he’s fine after his match with Kise when he hurt his arm. She knew he’s becoming dangerously self-destructive and that if she stands up for him, he will not appreciate it and it will blow up in her face.

But the alternative—pretending she doesn’t see, pretending, like he does, that it’s all fine—is just so much worse. 

If he ends up crippling himself because she indulges his negligence and he ends up carrying this grudge that he remained undefeated his entire life—she doesn’t think she can live it down. It’s a regret in her life she refuses to have.

Anything else he has to say and do to her - she can survive that. Some way or another. 

But not that.

Anything but that.

So she tries to explain this to him. That he is in no condition to be playing a full-out brawl against a champion candidate like Rakuzan. It will put unnecessary strain on his already damaged elbow. He needs to rest for now so he can play against them next time.

When his brows knit and his eyes narrow, she braces for the ugly argument she has seen coming from a mile away.

What she isn’t ready for is that as he lashes out, some of the things he says are that she is doing this to him to get in his way, pull his legs out from under him. That she doesn’t want to see him win, she wants him to fail so much that she will even go as far as sabotage him. All so she can have things her way.

It’s so rude of him to even think that, not to mention say it to her, because she will never do underhanded, blatantly disrespectful things like that. 

She doesn’t feel that way and she always does things properly, gives every match her all, takes every opponent seriously—although he certainly doesn’t, so how dare he try to pin his vices on her?! If he wants to project his failures onto her, he has another thing coming.

She tells him so directly, gloves off and no sugarcoating. She tells him that even though he may do that, she never will. She treats every opponent with the respect they deserve for being able to stand on the court, and she believes she can learn from every match. 

Satsuki sees the shadow that crosses his face at her accusation and she understands. She wishes she doesn’t but she is herself and he is Dai-chan, so she understands. That it hurts him to be failed again and again by spineless cowards who aren’t ready to deal with a prodigy like himself. People who don’t have his fiery tenacity, who don’t try as hard as he does, don’t put as much effort forward as he does. It’s only natural that they would get results vastly different than his, because what he invests is much different from what they do.

And she understands, but it’s pissing her off so damn much. That he’s willing to squander it all—willing to fight her over it, too—just over a single match with an opponent they will have three whole years to play against. 

Because she knows the only one Daiki actually sees as a worthy opponent in Rakuzan is Akashi-kun and Akashi-kun only. 

When he cuts her off, the argument veers off into an even more infuriating direction than it already was, because he has the gall to tell her that what she’s doing is for her own benefit and she’s being selfish. That she must have some hidden agenda to get in the way of his game and this must be bringing her some sick kind of pleasure. 

He blames her for having some kind of God complex, that she thinks she always knows better than him, than coach, than everybody, and she has a need to constantly prove it.

He tells her with utter disdain that she probably feels so almighty for having the authority to use him as her little marionette whenever she sees fit just to prove to everyone and himself just how much better than everyone she knows, just to prove herself right.

It smarts, it stings, it hurts, because every little thing she does, every single one, she does for him and to look out for him. 

She also gets that he’s pissed that everyone, every single person around them in every team he’s been in, wants to use him and abuse him for as long and as well as they can, but to blame her for doing the same?!

It’s a new low, even for him (and that’s already saying a lot). His childish anger at her stopping him from playing against Rakuzan is turning him into something she hates even more. 

She lashes out violently, hurt beyond words that he would insinuate something like that. She has given up so many things already, all for his sake, only to have him act like a damn ingrate about it.

"Well, if it's such a pain, why don't you just leave then?! Go to Tetsu, transfer to Seirin! I know you wish you did that to begin with! So just go ahead and do it now! If you need a cue or you need me to say something so you feel free, THIS IS IT! Go, Satsuki! You're free!"

"Shut the fuck up, you moron!" she yells right back at him, tears now streaming down her sides from the raw emotion clawing at her being. "I DID want to go to Seirin with Tetsu-kun, I did want to break free from this chain of unhappiness but it's too late already!"

"How is it too late? You're still alive and have free will, don't you?! So act on it and go do what you fucking want! No one is making you stay. Get lost! I don't want to see your ugly face around here anymore!"

"Well it's just too bad for you then, because I am not planning on going anywhere! I'm here to stay, whether you like it or not! Deal with it!!"

Daiki squashes violently the tiny swelling of pure joy in his chest at her words. The choice she makes even when he is provoking her in the most unbecoming way possible.

Even when he outright pushes her away, she still chooses him. 

Not Tetsu. Not anyone else. Him.

The feeling is resilient so he needs more time to stomp it out mentally than he thinks he would need.

And he has to stomp it out, otherwise his next words will never make it out of his mouth. And he isn’t letting her have the last word in this fight.

"Why?! You don't want to be here, do you? You're miserable, aren't you? Are you stupid or something? What could possibly keep you coming to keep getting hurt?! Get the fuck out of here!"

"Yes, I'm stupid! You're a moron but I'm even dumber than you are, for continuing to do this to myself! What an absolute idiot, right?!"

"Why?!" he roars back, confused and angrier than he's ever been in his life. "Why do it then? Give me one good reason why!"

"Because I love you, you fucking dumbass!"

Suddenly, he feels like he’s been speeding at a hundred miles per hour only to jump hard on the brakes and be abruptly brought to an instant halt. 

The dumbfounded “What?” dies on his lips before he can verbalize it.

The feeling from hearing her say it, from the way she says it, is like she's slapped him across the face.

It's a confession, heartfelt and earnest, despite the heatedness of their argument. 

Yet why does it feel like no blessing?

"I'm in love with you and I can't help needing to keep coming back. No matter that you keep hurting me again and again every time! It's too late already because I'm already so far gone that my own self-preservation doesn't matter. All I can think of is: how is he taking this? How can I help him? Will this make it any easier for him? Will this ease any of the burden he keeps piling up on himself? How is he feeling today? Will this make his day any better?"

"You don't need to do that!" Daiki protests vehemently, making her stomp her foot hard in response.

"I know I don't! I know it in my head, but here I am, doing it anyway! God knows you don't need to get a bigger head than you already have, and that your spoilt ass doesn't need any further spoiling, but here I am!! Doing it anyway! Caring still! No matter that you never care back at all!"

Daiki opens his mouth to rebut her but she gives him no room to say his piece, ploughing on without pause.

"I love you like it's some kind of curse, a shackle on my legs, binding me and keeping me here with you, rotting together with you in your self-made little hell! You will never say anything to keep me here but these damn feelings make fucking sure I continue hanging around your dumb self! It's a damn Stockholm syndrome I can't seem to get away from, no matter how I try!"

All of his words that he wants to fling at her die on his lips upon this last part of her tirade. 

The worst part is that she is still not done, and her words are a mad shout while the tears keep running down her face unchecked. It doesn’t even occur to Daiki that this has been the most he’s ever heard her curse in all their lives. Or that it’s clearly indicative of just how this matter has been eating at her.

"I love you more than I ever should, but I hate you so much more than that! I hate you, I hate you, I hate your fucking guts, Daiki!" 

She stomps her foot repeatedly on the floor in a desperate attempt to vent some of the stifling frustration. The tears splash down onto her hoodie and the ground, and become wet blotches.

"I hate you so fucking much that it kills me inside! I hate you more than you can imagine because the Dai-chan I fell in love with is nowhere to be found! You killed him, and gave me this twisted, fake, ugly version of him that I didn't want! He's nothing like the Dai-chan I fell in love with but I can still see him kind of there, lingering in a familiar touch, or hiding behind a familiar phrase and how fucking dare you?! How dare you kill the person I care for most and give me this fucking useless hand-me-down, washed out version of him with none of the spark he had?!" 

She is glaring hard at the floor now. Her hands are balled into fists, her knuckles white. Her arms are strained as cords and shaking violently by her sides.

"You took away my Dai-chan and replaced him with someone I hate. Now all I have left is this crushing love that is only hurting me, and this overwhelming hate for you and all you've become. I hate it, and hate you for doing it to yourself and to me."

She has stopped crying at this point, but it feels more like the calm before the storm.

She lifts her head to look into his eyes with the most intense glare he has ever been the recipient of. Satsuki's magenta eyes are sparking with anger, accusation and disdain.

Although looks cannot in fact kill, a part of Daiki certainly dies when their gazes lock.

"I hate you so much that if I could only live without you, I would kill you myself, with my own hands." 

Her angrily hissed confession makes his stomach turn. Daiki swallows heavily, spellbound as he continues holding her gaze with more courage than he actually has.

"But I can't live without you, so here I am. Touou's basketball club manager, still right next to you even though it hurts and even though I hate your guts. Because no matter how much I hate what you've become, I still believe like some fucking retard that the Dai-chan I fell in love with is still in there. Under the rotten, sarcastic, arrogant bastard you are showing to the world, he's still there and crying out for help and for someone to save him from you."

She swallows down heavily then, fixing him with a stern look that still has the previous vehemence but the murderous glint is gone. 

"I don't know that for a fact but I believe it in my heart. I believe it with all my soul. And as long as I do, there is no chance of me deserting Dai-chan alone in the prison you put him behind. I will be right here, so he knows that even if no one else cares, I still do. If no one else will understand, I will. I will be right here for who you have become, too, because although I hate you and given the chance, I might very well kill you, I don't want you to self-destruct. I think you're amazing and brilliant and truly the best and I wish this would bring you happiness instead of all the bitterness you exude with every fucking breath you take."

She's crying again, yet her gaze has softened.

"I think you're amazing and it hurts that no one understands you but they all want to use you until they no longer need you. So, contrary to them, I will be here the entire time. Without needing anything from you but your presence. I will be next to you, so no matter how lonely you feel at the top, you will never actually be alone. No one deserves that, least of all you."

There is an alluring pull in her heartbroken expression, tears falling silently down her sides as she peers into his face. His hand raises to touch her wet cheek gingerly but when she feels the caress, she slaps his hand away indignantly.

Surprise, confusion and hurt flit through his face in rapid succession at her reaction.

"Don't touch me!" she spits out venomously, her glare heated as she aims it at him. "Don't start pretending like you care just because of the things I said! Because I know you, I know you better than anyone, and I know you don't fucking give a shit about any of this so—"

Her tirade gets cut off when he pulls her into his embrace while she struggles against it with all her might. They wrestle with each other for half a minute during which he tries to take her in his hold and she fights him stubbornly, refusing to stay still so he can properly hug her against him.

He growls in aggravation when she continues resisting. Her strength is something easily overcome for someone of Daiki's build and power. But the fact he's trying to hug her and she's trying to thwart him in it makes even her meagre strength a force to be reckoned with.

To try to make her settle down, he grabs her with both hands by the sides of her face and presses his mouth upon hers. 

As far as kisses go, this is definitely not the best one because they're both too angrily huffing and pissed with each other for it to be anything other than a mashing of lips on lips.

It seems to backfire on Daiki because although he's overtaken by the mind-numbing realization of how soft and wonderful her lips feel against his, she doesn't share the sentiment. She yanks her head out of his hold in the next second and slaps him as hard as she can across the face.

She must’ve plucked up all of her strength and loaded the hit with all of her emotion as well because his head turns from the force of it.

"Didn't you hear what I just said?!" She screeches so loudly that he whimpers from her volume, and the sting in his assaulted cheek. "I told you not to touch me! What makes you think you can just kiss me like that!? You cannot, you may not!"

He rubs his cheek, miffed, before he turns to throw her accusatory look.

"You were the one saying "I love you, I love you" just a minute ago!" he barks back.

"I also said that I hate you and your stupid mug. Did you already conveniently forget that or your head is so big you never even heard that part?!"

Daiki snarls then and forgoes the care with which he always, even unconsciously, handles Satsuki with. He forgoes it and makes a sudden grab for her. He holds her by her lower hip and the side of her face with two strong arms, unimpressed with her attempts to free herself from his hold.

She opens her mouth to scream at him again when she fails to shrug him off despite her best attempts. He’s having none of that though, so he covers her mouth firmly with his own to keep her quiet.

Her vocal protests are muffled by his lips and he pushes her bodily back until her back hits the wall. Her flailing hands are caught before they can make contact with his face or torso. Her resistance is futile because this time he doesn't plan to let her go or do as she sees fit. 

(She’s said her piece—more than just her two cents in, really—and now it’s his turn.)

His left hand holds both of hers over her head against the wall, while his right holds her chin tight through his bruising kiss. Once she stops violently struggling against him and settles down into smouldering but quiet fury, he relents and pulls away from her.

He doesn't move too far back though, his intense cobalt eyes fixing hers from an intimately close distance. The proximity makes him aware of the teasing way her ample bosom is rising and falling rapidly with her ragged breathing. Her cheeks are flushed—with anger or something else, he ponders—and she is glaring evilly at him from her captive position in his hold.

Daiki throws her an equally unrelenting look full of challenge.

"I heard you well, every single word." He traces the line of her jaw with his fingertips. "I also heard you very clearly say that you love me."

His eyes dare her to refute his statement. She glares back at him but keeps her mouth shut. She's still panting.

Daiki swallows hard while looking into her eyes. 

"If you're in love with me, don't you want to hold me and kiss me?"

"No."

Her answer is instant. 

Her tone has an air of finality to it that doesn't allow for any argument. She looks so steadfast when she says so that coupled with the unexpectedness of her answer, Daiki feels flabbergasted.

"No?" he echoes incredulously.

"No," Satsuki repeats with the same iron conviction. "I don't want you touching me, or holding me, or kissing me, or anything of the sort."

"Why not?" He demands then, unyielding from holding her wrists up by his much stronger hand.

"I just don't!"

His eyes narrow at her reasoning. 

"Give me a good reason and I'll drop it," he challenges her again, his tone even. 

She considers his request for a minute before her face twists in a stubborn and angry grimace. Although she looks a bit ridiculous with her face flushed from all the emotions she's gone through in rapid succession in the past minutes and her profuse crying, he can't help himself when he thinks she’s adorable in that very moment.

"I don't have one. Just let go! You're hurting me! God knows you've already done way too much of that to be hurting me physically too!"

The way she lashes out—with words of painful truth aimed at him like daggers—makes him flinch and he almost pulls back. He almost complies with her command to unhand her but reconsiders in the last moment. 

He resolves to let her go if she answers his questions first.

"You don't have what? A good reason or any reason?"

"Stop arguing and just let me go, you brute!" she yells at him but it's not as loud as earlier. 

He's pressing her harder against the wall, sandwiching her between himself and the hard surface behind. It makes her unable to fill her lungs with enough air to scream at him as effectively as she previously has.

"Answer my question," he whispers against her mouth while pinching her chin securely between his thumb and index finger. Her eyes flash with an emotion he doesn't recognize but it's gone before he can deliberate it. "And I will let you go immediately."

He hopes she can see the promise in his eyes that he will do as he says. His only condition is simple enough, he believes. 

After all, she has already spilled her guts and her biggest secret to him, right? What could she possibly have to fear confessing any further?

Her mouth stays clamped shut. She says nothing and just stares at him from up close until her breathing calms. He waits for her and demonstrates patience she thinks him incapable of through it all. 

"Well?" He prompts at the end of the third minute of tense silence between them.

"I have nothing further to say to you," she informs him coolly. 

There’s a mask of indifference already plastered on her features.

Daiki growls in annoyance, refusing to be brushed off.

Refusing to be treated like this doesn't matter after the heavy shit she's unloaded on him earlier.

He ain't buying it and if she refuses to be civil about it, he will be as crudely provoking as needed to get the result he wants. To get the answer he wants.

Because it’s fucking important, damn it!

So instead of trying to pry it out of her with his words (which he's rather inept with to begin with), he prefers to do it with his actions. He's always been better at acting upon things than talking it out, and an emotionally charged situation like this makes it even more painfully evident.

He kisses her again, pushing into her personal space with no preamble. This time he has the chance to recognize how sweet she smells as well, not just how nice her mouth feels against his. 

She starts struggling against him, trying to break out of his kiss but with her hands captive and her chin in his unbudging hold, she has no prayer of being able to break free.

She realizes this quickly and starts trying to protest vocally but he swallows the sound with his mouth opening against hers. 

When he pulls away to look into her eyes, she's glaring heatedly at him, her lips wet and swollen from his forceful kisses.

He runs his tongue over his top lip to moisten it too while his gaze fixates on her.

"So you hate this?"

"I hate it! Knock it off!! It's not funny!"

He isn't laughing. This isn't some game to him either, although she doesn't seem to understand that.

"So you hate it…" he echoes, voice subdued.

"Yes!" she wails back at him, thrashing in his hold.

"The same way you hate me?"

"Yes!!"

She gasps after her admission even before she registers the meaningful look Daiki throws her way. She has belatedly realized just what she has affirmed and the implications behind it.

“So in other words, you both hate it and you love it, yeah?”

“No!” She is quick to refuse his statement.

Too quick.

Panicked?

Daiki smirks sadistically down at her. He’s grabbed the pulse of the heart of this matter, he believes.

“Satsuki, you really need to speak up so I can understand, okay?” He looms in her line of vision despite her adamant attempts to turn her head away from him. She can’t go through with it because his fingers are still holding her chin. “You have to give me a good reason why you hate me kissing you, especially if it’s true that you’re in love with me.”

The way he questions the truthfulness of her earlier confession is his attempt to get a rise out of her. He succeeds partially, judging from the way she throws a venomous glare his way, but her lips are still sealed shut.

He scoffs and leans in closer. 

His breath fans against her cheek and he derives a sick pleasure from seeing her squirm.

“Answer the question, or I’ll keep kissing you until you do,” he half-threatens, half-states because he’s fully planning on doing exactly that if she continues being stubborn.

Because if she thinks she can be more pig-headed than he is, she’s wrong. He’s ready and willing to show her just how wrong she is if she keeps pushing it.

And it works, because this time she whimpers and struggles even harder to turn her face away from him. He doesn’t let her but she shifts her gaze away to the furthest wall. 

“Don’t kiss me anymore. Don’t make this more complicated and painful for me than it already is.” She misses his confused look at her quiet admission because she’s still avoiding him to the best of her ability. “I already wake up every morning and go to bed every night thinking about you and the stupid shit you say and do. Don’t make my life more of a living hell by complicating my feelings further…”

She sounds so forlorn and broken that he can’t keep pressuring her anymore. His hand lets go of her wrists and they slowly fall at her sides. His other hand’s fingers release her jaw and he rests his weight against the palm he leans on the wall next to her head. She is now looking away from him in earnest, refusing to meet his eyes as she continues.

“I don’t want to know what it feels like to kiss you. I don’t want to be wondering if you mean it or if you don’t. I don’t want to be haunted with doubts whether I’m right or I’m not. I don’t want any of it, so please… just stop and leave me alone…”

Her sorrowful tone makes his heart clench in his chest but he shoves the feeling roughly away. It’s important that he communicates this somehow, or he will regret it for the rest of his life.

Especially since he’s already torn so many painful confessions from her today.

There’s a twinge of regret in the corner of his consciousness—amplified by the way she seems to try to fold in on herself before his very eyes. He soothes it by caressing the crown of her head like he’s petting something fragile and infinitely precious. He caresses her tenderly, willing some of the discomfort and pain away from her being, if he can, by the simple action alone.

“Satsuki,” he starts quietly, his tone calm and kind. “It’s true that you do know me very well—there are many days when I’m sure you probably know me better than I know myself. And in many ways, that could be true. But there are still some things about me that you don’t know and because you don’t, you misunderstand.”

The way she skittishly starts to lift her magenta gaze to lock with his is heart wrenching to watch but he leaves her to do as she pleases while still petting her head adoringly.

“I don’t blame you. If I were you, I’d probably misunderstand, too, because my timing was terrible and I act before I think as always. But I really don’t want you thinking that I’m kissing you just to shut you up or something dumb like that. Because that’s just my excuse and not my reason why.”

Her eyes are widening and her breathing has hitched in her throat already. Her lips are parting—in surprise or horror, it’s hard to tell—and he cannot continue to study her reaction any further. His heart is racing in his chest. 

He’s nervous and his body is reacting to the feeling more violently because of their earlier verbal standoff. It feels like his blood vessels will burst from the sheer volume and strength with which his heart is pumping.

“This isn’t a joke nor a game to me either. It’s insulting that—knowing me as well as you do—you would think so.” He takes a deep breath because suddenly the air has vacated his lungs and he feels like he’s drowning in white noise. “These important things about me you don’t know—I’ll tell you the most important of them right now: I would never kiss you to prank you or just to win a stupid argument.” 

He admires her courage in being able to say it to his face but he doesn’t have it himself. 

So Daiki leans forward until his lips are aligned with her ear, and his face is twisted out of her sight.

“Because I like you, too. I’ve been in love with you for a long, long time.”

He whispers it like it’s a secret and condemns Satsuki with a heavy heart.

It is his most well-kept secret because she’s been convinced that he doesn’t care, that she’s wrong, he’s just an arrogant, unfeeling asshole and her Dai-chan is gone forever. Her unrequited pining is pointless, but will eventually—maybe, with time—fall into the background of her inner world and she will be able to finally, finally, move on to something, someone, else. 

Less painful, less complicated, less dramatic.

Satsuki knows breaking free from the shackles that are her feelings for him is but a pipe dream now, with his last little confession to her.

There’s no way in any world she will be able to move on to anything—or anybody—else, knowing her feelings are not one-sided.

Knowing that he does things with intention. Knowing that he does care and is just… terrible at showing it. 

Daiki’s intermittent warm breath at her earlobe draws her attention to the present time and moment from her reverie. She swallows heavily, her gaze rising to the ceiling of his room. She kicks herself mentally, over and over, for relishing the feeling of having him so close and the knowledge that he’s in love with her, too.

Oh, God, no… she thinks to herself and the tears well in her eyes anew. Love is supposed to be something that makes you happy, brings you joy, but she’s never had any joy in her love. 

It’s always been her silly secret, a temporary crush. Then it became a complicated matter, not to breathe a word of to anybody. Then it evolved into something painful, until it turned just outright excruciating. It has been a downward spiral and her heart is so heavy, realizing that it’s only going to continue further from there on.

And it will likely only get worse, a downhill steep slope. 

Because she can’t be the one to save him. She can’t be the one to heal him. He’s the one damaging himself but he needs someone from outside to help him out. It kills her that this person cannot be her, even though she’s right there, always there for him, always. 

Her tears start running down her sides. When his thumb brushes them away from her cheeks with the most gentle touch she’s ever received from him, a violent sob tears from her throat.

“I really, really hate you, Daiki,” she tells him through her clenched teeth. 

He pulls away from her to give her a slanted smile that gives his gaze a kind glint.

She doesn’t use the childhood nickname she has for him anymore—at first by trying to distance herself from him in school by calling him “Aomine-kun” anywhere their classmates can hear her, but calling him Dai-chan in private. 

Ever since he starts changing for the worse, she stops calling him that even if it’s just the two of them. 

She uses no address to turn to him—other than derogatives like “idiot”, “dumbass” or “moron” but those don’t count. If she has something to say to him, she just establishes visual contact with him first then says what she wants, if they’re in private. Maybe she thinks he doesn’t notice and he’s dense—and he is, generally speaking. But when it comes to her and the way she treats him, Daiki notices things. 

And it just hurts, to lose something that has been a given for him, so suddenly and so completely, with no ado and no warning.

He’s no longer Dai-chan, he’s not Daiki, he’s no longer anything to her and it hurts. 

So at least when they are among others, he takes the “Aomine-kun” in stride because at least, at least then, she acknowledges his existence and turns to him by name.

For the past two years, he has almost never, ever been “Daiki” to her. She called him that earlier in the height of their fight and he didn’t have the chance to appreciate it but he does notice it. Like he notices every single little thing about her.

Hearing his name from her—despite the venomous claim it’s accompanied by—sends a shiver down his spine that he rather relishes.

The next kiss he initiates is a loud echo of his secret he’s shared with her, because it’s so much sweeter than any of the previous ones they exchanged throughout their mulishly stubborn argument. 

It’s a repeat of the “I love you, Satsuki” that he’s too himself to vocalize more than once in his life. She hears it, loud and clear, in the gentle press of his lips against hers, in the tender touch of his tongue on hers.

It rends her heart asunder because she’s already in the palm of his hand, even without him saying or doing anything. Now she will never be able to escape him, but worse still - she will never even try anymore.

Whether that’s a good or bad thing, Satsuki still doesn’t know. 

What she does know is that she is a heavy heart to carry and her beloved will be weighed down by it—although, admittedly, he has only himself to thank for that. 

He’s condemned them both to suffering and licking at each other’s wounds for the time being, but it’s a sweet kind of torture that she is willing to submit herself to despite her sanity being in jeopardy over it.

That’s perfectly fine for him, though.

She will learn in due time that even outside of the court, Daiki is strong enough to stand, with both his heart and hers in hand. 

He will patiently, diligently, teach her that when he holds her in his arms, he will never let her down and her heavy feet will never touch the ground.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

A/N: Did you find all the lyrics references I sprinkled throughout the story for all the parts of the song that inspired this piece?( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I struggled for quite a while with setting up the whole thing in the beginning BEFORE the start of their argument, and also finishing the damn thing. I struggled and struggled and then turned to the actual song on the next day again and, what would you know, I’m actually kinda proud of this now.

Gonna cross-post this everywhere so you can FEEL ME BEING BACK.

This has been yours truly, showing you how she believes song fics should best be done. Hope you enjoyed.

100 Situations, Table One; 032: Torn.

9th October, 2020.

[justkending]

Moral of The Story. Chapter One.

Summary: Marrying too young out of highschool leads to a naive and failed marriage. Now 10 years later, word comes that the divorce was never actually completed. Bucky and Y/N have to come back together after all these years to settle what wasn’t all those years back. Passive attitudes, miscommunicated endings, and reminiscing of an old love all comes back for the two.

Pairing: Bucky x Y/N

Word Count: 2600+

A/N: Ok, here is the first chapter! If you have not already listened to the song that evoked this idea from my imagination land, I suggest giving it a go! Moral of the Story by Ashe. I’m excited for you guys to see what this story brings and I really hope I do it justice! As always, comments and thoughts are welcome as they help me grow as a writer and let me see what you guys notice:) ENJOY MY LOVES!!! <3

(The posting will be once every other day until I have finished the series. If I finish early, I will post an update once a day:)

Read the Prologue here first!

Chapter One:

"You already got the flight?" Nat asked, perched on Y/N's couch as she ran around frantically packing. "Don't you have a huge meeting next week with that new business? What was it called? Bee's Knees?"

"Yes, but it's not until Monday evening. I highly doubt I will be there longer than a weekend to sign a few divorce papers. I'm planning on coming back early that afternoon, so I shouldn't miss it," she answered, not even stopping to look at her as she ran through the rooms and bathroom in the apartment.

"How soon did you book that flight?"

"As soon as I hung up the phone with Murdock," Y/N sighed. Nat sent her a questioning look not knowing that name. "New lawyer. The guy who took over for the sleazeball known as Justin Hammer," she rolled her eyes.

"Right," Nat nodded. "So, are you staying at your dad's house?"

"I would take my dad's house over my mom and Jerry's any day. You know this," Y/N paused in her actions, sending her a bitch face.

"I know. Just didn't know if you'd be all fancy and rent a hotel room to escape the smothering that is bound to happen from good ol' Mr. Y/L/N," Nat grinned.

"It's been so long since I've seen him not via facetime. And we both know that's barely seeing him as he doesn't know where the camera is even after a hundred calls," she laughed.

"Parents. Either they're technologically challenged or know how to work it better than us. Never in between and it's weird." Nat watched as Y/N froze in her stance and looked lost trying to think of something else to pack. Deciding she needed a distraction, Nat changed the subject some. "Hey, did you get Melody to go on that date tomorrow?"

"Yes!" Y/N answered proudly. "I know your aunt wants grandbabies from her daughter, but that girl just needs a night on the town more than anything. She's in her early 20's and holes herself up at the office almost more than I do, and I'm the boss."

"Cousin's got my work ethic. What can I say?" Nat shrugged smugly.

"Well, she needs to get your spirit in living some too."

"Touche," Nat pointed. "I need to have Yelena take her out. She's the real party sister out of us two."

"That is true. How she's able to party for 48 hours straight and still wake up at 8 am for mimosas, blows my mind," Y/N commented on Natasha's younger sister. "She's only a few years older than Melody, right?"

"Yeah, Yelena is 24, and Melody is 22. They were best of friends growing up, but once they got to high school, they kinda went different routes about life. Lana, the party gal, and Mel the studious bookworm."

"I'm not surprised by either of those," Y/N shook her head before collapsing next to Nat on the couch. A loud breath and sigh escaped her body.

Nat watched as her mind escaped back to the original issue at hand.

"What's going on in that brain of yours, Y/N/N?" she said, softly touching her shoulder. "Not that I don't already know, but maybe letting it out will help unscramble those thoughts."

Y/N lazily rolled her head to the redhead next to her.

"How is he?" she asked.

Nat was a part of their friend group from middle school through high school. She kept up with all of them still, whereas Y/N kept up with all of them except one.

"I actually haven't talked to him in a while. Steve on the other hand..." Nat nodded. "From that source, it sounds like Barnes is just as surprised and freaked out as you."

"He's freaked out?" Y/N asked, a hint of interest peeking out.

"Who wouldn't be? You get a call from a lawyer saying your marriage is still intact after 9 years of breaking it off, I would be freaked out too."

"He deserves it. I hope he's just as freaked out as me, if not more," she responded bitterly, crossing her arms across her chest like a pouting child.

"Y/N," Nat sighed.

"No. Don't. Don't defend him to me, it's pointless," she put up a hand. "I know you're still friends with him, but you guys still don't understand the pain that that man brought on me."

"He fought for you, Y/N. He didn't mean-," Nat countered.

"Again, you're wasting your breath. Defending him now does nothing to change the past," she said stubbornly, getting back up and carrying on with her packing. "You can still take me to the airport tomorrow, right?"

Her best friend wanted to keep pushing, knowing she had harbored this heartbreak for too long. Sure what had happened between them sucked and was a horrible chapter of their lives, but neither made an effort to talk it out and understand the other's side of the story. Faults of being young, immature, and not knowing how to handle a grown-up decision.

"Yes, I'll pick you up at work at 10. Flights at 11:25, right?"

"Yes, and you know California traffic. That will probably get me there 10 minutes before my gate closes. I had to get an early flight though because that time difference is going to kick my ass. It'll be close to 5:30 in my head and 8:30 there by the time I land... " Y/N huffed, rolling her bag to the front door for tomorrow. "You mind taking this tonight and keeping it in your car for now? That way I don't have to lug it to work?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll grab it on my way out. But we're still having a girl's night, right?"

Y/N laughed some before going to the kitchen to grab beers. "I Survived is already recorded and ready for us."

___________________

"Shit man... When's the last time you talked to her?" Steve asked, sitting across from his best friend in the chair diagonal from the couch, leaning forward on his knees after listening to the new news.

"Since I was supposedly signing our divorce papers. And even then, we didn't really talk. She sat there quietly straight-faced until it was signed and then rushed out the doors," Bucky sighed, still trying to wrap his head around the situation. "She was out of the state within the next hour."

Steve nodded before falling back into the single seat.

"So, do you guys have to see each other again, or is it one of those situations where you can sign separately?"

"I don't know. I just got off the phone. All I know up to this second is that Y/N and I have been married for the past 9 years without knowing it," Bucky said somewhat harshly. Steve didn't flinch at the tone knowing it wasn't directed at him. "I'm sorry. I-I just can't wrap my mind around this."

"It's ok. This is crazy shit, Buck," Steve waved off. There was a long pause before Steve decided to ask the question he was sure anyone would want to know. "Do you want to see her?"

Bucky slowly looked over to the blonde. God, he had been asking himself that question for the past 10 minutes himself.

On one end, yes. He wondered where she was now in life. How she was doing. What accomplishments he knew she would be making. He knew a few small things just by the whispers and small talk of her with their shared friend group that he still hung out with, but a majority of the time, they didn't bring her up around him. They knew what it did to him.

On the other end, he never thought about facing her again. I mean maybe for the year after their divorce, but when he never heard anything back from her all those times he still tried to reach out and she blocked him on almost all forms of social media, he gave up any hope of them falling back into good terms again. He hated it, but he wasn't going to push her when she clearly hated his guts.

And honestly, he deserved it. His young, stupid, college self was not a smart guy when it came to relationships. Even ones that had been there from the beginning of time practically.

Yet again, she wasn't perfect either. She made some mistakes of her own that pushed him to act the way he had.

"Hey, you both are older and more mature now. I'm sure you if you guys do have to see each other again, you can handle it like adults," Steve reassured, seeing Bucky's face turn to a soft frown. "Ok, so she may be a little stubborn..."

"A little?"

"Ok, a lot. But she's older now. She's not the 19-year-old girl that you remember," Steve defended.

"I believe that but I'm sure she still holds a grudge that is very, very, very, very-," Bucky was going to go on about 10 more very's before ending with BIG, but Steve cut him off.

"You don't know that," Steve shook his head.

"Really? Because usually when you no longer hold a grudge against someone, you might just reach out to that person and reconnect possibly," Bucky argued. "I mean that's what mature people do, right?"

"Not always..."

"So she's either not mature or still just as stubborn. Hell, for all we know, both," Bucky shrugged, pursing his lips.

"If you go into this with that mindset, nothing good is going to come out of it." Steve pointed an eyebrow at him.

Bucky rolled his eyes not replying to Steve. He knew he was right, but he was still bitter after all these years about how Y/N handled the situation. Sure, he messed up, but she had to. Yet she made him into this big bad wolf that was at 100% fault in the downfall of their relationship. It made him feel like shit, and though he tried to make amends knowing he did some fucked up things, she acted like she was Miss Perfect and didn't do anything wrong the entire time.

Damn, even after all this time, it still lit a fire in his chest with annoyance and hurt.

"When's the meeting?" Steve once again interrupted his thoughts.

"I guess Saturday morning. They said they were coming in on their off hours to fix up a few cases they found like ours," Bucky answered.

"How many cases were there?"

"Eh, I think he said it was single digits, but there were a shit ton of other cases in different areas that were worse off. The divorce ones are a small number compared to those."

"Damn. That sucks for all the couples who got a call today then," Steve huffed, running a hand down his face.

"Yeah, you're telling me..."

"Hey, we were going out with Wanda and Vis tonight. You still up for that, or...?" Steve stood up.

Bucky looked back at the beer on the coffee table and then at the TV still playing I Survived stories quietly in the background.

"You know what? I'm going to need a stronger drink than an IPA to get me to sleep tonight," Bucky nodded, standing and wiping his hands on his jeans before walking to his room.

"Looks like I'm the DD tonight then..." Steve sighed.

___________

"Vis," Wanda motioned to her fiance as he came back from the bar. "Nat just texted."

"About what? How is she?" Vis smiled as he sat next to her with Sam across from him. Sam tagged along at the last second since his other plans got canceled.

"She's good, but it's not about her," Wanda waved off, still reading whatever lengthy text was sent her way.

"Wow, that looks like a novel," Vis noticed with wide eyes as he looked over her shoulder.

"Wait 'til you hear what it's about." 

Sam shook his head as he took a sip of the beer Vis had brought over.

After reading the rest of the text out loud from where she had left off, everyone at the table looked at each other with shock ridden faces.

"They're still married?" Vis said softly as if it was a secret.

"Apparently..." Wanda nodded with wide eyes.

"So that Hammer guy was a sham?" Sam questioned.

"I told her not to go to him. He had some shady hole in the wall kind of establishment," Wanda chided. "But she said they needed something cheap and fast. She hated his guts and wanted it out of it then and there. Plus, they were 19. They didn't have much money anyway."

"Why didn't they just ask their parents for help?" Sam questioned. "Isn't Y/N's mom loaded?"

"Yes, but she refused to help her. She said it was her own fault for getting married so young and that she had warned her. Told her she had to get out of the mess on her own," Wanda answered.

"What about her dad?" Vis jumped in.

"Bucky and her dad were close. She was off in Colorado for school and didn't want to put her dad through that or make him have to help her in cutting him off. Bucky was like the son he never had and they were bonded at the hip. No matter how much Y/N hated Bucky, she wasn't going to ruin or take away his relationship with her father. That would have been cruel, and Y/N is anything but that."

"Weren't Bucky's and Y/N's dad's best friends?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, they were old-time war buddies. They're the reason Bucky and Y/N had known each other since birth. But Bucky's dad died when he was about 13, and Y/N's dad, Thomas, kinda took him under his wing. Growing up a teenage boy without a father figure messes with you, and Bucky was on the edge of a bad path after losing his father."

"He's still rather close with Thomas, but I'm sure Y/N doesn't know that. Unless Thomas has said something, and with how everything came to an end for the two, I'm sure he doesn't bring it up knowing how tender of a subject Bucky is to her," Vis added.

"Makes sense..." Sam nodded. "I only knew you all from the start of college, so I'm still a little lost in all the beginning stuff."

"All good. It's complicated with those two. Their past and upbringing are so interconnected with the other, it makes their downfall all the more intense and messy," Wanda sighed. "God, if this is the news, he's going to be a wreck tonight..." She looked up worriedly at her fiance who shared the same concerns.

"It could go two ways. Either he comes in all solemn and says three words all night, or Steve's going to be the DD and he's waking up with a head-busting hangover," Sam noted with a small grin at the thought. "I'm going to go with the latter though."

"Poor guy," Wanda sighed, taking a drink with a sad face. Ever the sympathetic one.

"We'll be here to listen if he wants to talk. If not, we act like we have no idea and don't bring it up," Vision spoke up, throwing his arm over her and running his hand up and down her shoulder.

"I'm going to tease him still most likely," Sam shrugged nonchalantly. Wanda sent him a warning glare. "Fine, mama bear! I'll be nice... Until he starts making a fool of himself." He added the last part quietly.

Moral of the Story Taglist:

@taylormobley @ximaginx @vicmc624 @leyannrae

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @heyiamthatbitch @lizzymacy555  @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326 @captain-asguard @mollygetssherlockcoffee @teenagedreams-bucky @shower-me-with-roses @pham-tastical

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose  @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan  @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins @alyispunk​ @princess-annna

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness @bellamy-barnes @katiaw2 @aikeia

[renaerys]

Okay I've got one: Prompt 15 with Reds. 🤣🤣🤣

15. “I can’t hear a word you’re saying, I just keep thinking about how good that mouth feels.”

Somehow they can make even breathing a competition.

Send me a prompt and some characters! Reminder that the challenge is to make everything SFW, so we're getting creative here.

List of prompts

xxx

“So, we’ve called the paramedics and they’re on their way, but until they arrive it’s up to us. Remember the acronym, kids: C-A-B. What’s the first thing you do?”

Aiyeesha Simpson, a gunner in the making destined for academic greatness and social ruin, raised her eager hand. “Find a flat surface to lay him down!”

“Correct.” Blossom took Brick by the shoulders and shoved him down to the floor. A gaggle of Girl Scouts gathered around him as he wheezed for air.

“Ow,” he said.

Blossom patted his chest. “Please choke more quietly.”

I will end you, he thought so loudly he hoped she could hear him through the murder in his eyes. There was community service, and then there was cruel and unusual punishment. When his required hours were up and his record expunged, he was going to write a very negative Yelp review of the local Townsville Girls Scouts of America chapter and tank this year’s cookie sales. Supremely annoying, outrageously petty, and totally legal. That would teach Blossom for sure.

“Place your hands here between the nipples.”

Some of the Cadette Girl Scouts giggled. To be fair, Blossom of all people saying the word nipples in reference to her former mortal enemy as she trained a room full of twelve-year-old girls in CPR using him as the dummy was a perfect storm of absurd and kinky that he did not see coming. And now he was giggling himself, because he was a teenaged boy who thought the word nipples was funny regardless of the very clear contextual cues, and that pubescent shame was on him, one hundred percent.

Blossom, an ancient and inconveniently attractive evil resurrected in a lab for the sole purpose of making his life miserable, did not appreciate his amusement. “Push hard at a rate of 100 to 120 compressions per minute. Remember to put your bodyweight behind it, like this.”

Brick flexed, and Blossom pushed against his heart like she was trying to crush it in her hands. Once, twice, three times she administered compressions, and Brick’s eyes glowed red with impotent rage.

“Assist Blossom with her CPR lessons to her satisfaction, and we can forget this ever happened,” Mayor Bellum had promised Brick when he lost his temper and blew up an (empty) ambulance. Butch didn’t need his Super stomach pumped no matter how much he drank, so the ambulance and the four-figure bill that came with it were completely unnecessary. This defense did not convince the mayor, however.

The promise of the bill forgiven and his record cleared—and the deterrence of Aiyeesha Simpson filming the whole thing to upload to YouTube later—gave Brick the strength not to eye beam Blossom in front of the children.

“Okay, who wants to try chest compressions on the dummy?” Blossom offered to the girls.

You evil bitch, thought the aforementioned dummy.

After the third little girl properly placed her sticky, little girl hands between his nipples, Brick had had enough. “Hey, I’m still dying over here. Can we move on already? Jesus Christ.”

“Of course.” Blossom smiled, and she had never looked more terrifying.

Brick hoped Butch was suffering. He hoped he was hung over so bad he couldn’t piss standing up. He hoped Butch tried going online only to find that Brick had disconnected the Internet and cut him off from all his online games and porn because fuck Butch and his weak-ass stomach.

“Who knows what the next step is? Maybe someone other than Aiyeesha this time?”

None of the other girls seemed willing to stick their hands up. The carpet under Brick had scorched where his power leaked out in his building resentment for this entire situation. The smell of burned polyester just made him feel even more powerless to stop this.

“No? Okay, well, remember the acronym. A is for airway. You want to be careful about a possible neck injury, so gently lift the chin…”

Blossom’s hands were not sticky like the Girl Scouts’ hands, but they were cold where they touched his skin and forced his head back.

“Are the paramedics here yet?”

Brick got a tight fist in his short hair for that one, and he considered it a small victory. “No. Something about a shortage of ambulances, apparently.”

Biiiiiiiitch.

God, he was going to destroy her so bad.

“Once you’ve cleared the airway and confirmed there are no obstructions—”

“Then you kiss!”

Some girls picked up the giggling again. Blossom, ever the professional, cleared her throat. “Mouth to mouth is a life-saving procedure and not something I’d recommend doing to someone you plan to kiss.”

Wow, great advice.

Some girls still giggled and whispered to each other. Brick had a sinking feeling that this was only going to end with his embarrassment: everyone knew that the cold judgment of pre-pubescent girls was the absolute worst type of judgment a person could suffer.

“Are you gonna show us?”

“Well, I don’t think I need to show you all how to breathe—”

“It’s in the manual! You have to demonstrate every step.” Aiyeesha waved the CPR manual, and Brick realized his misjudgment. She was no vapid goody two-shoes in the making, but a future Honors Student with a secret, a Work Hard Party Harder, an Ivy League Early Decision candidate with all of senior spring semester to slack off because no one was ever going to touch her 4.3 GPA.

Aiyeesha beamed a winning smile at Brick, and it was as chilling as Blossom’s.

Jesus Christ, there are two of them.

True to form, Blossom had never been able to defy a good instructions manual. “I suppose if it says so in the manual…”

Locking lips with Blossom was not a big deal. He’d done it before when they were kids, and he could appreciate the irony of a gesture meant to save his life this time rather than end it. She didn’t even try to mess with him by using her ice breath, just went through the motions as described in the instructions. The girls were disappointed with the lack of hormonal fanfare of it all, which was probably for the best. Leave it to Blossom to make mouth to mouth the sexless, medical act it was literally intended to be. He was almost upset, because it felt like she’d won something here, which could only mean he’d lost.

Disappointed but more educated than they’d been when they’d arrived two hours ago, the Girl Scouts dispersed after the lesson, leaving Blossom and Brick to put away the equipment they’d used.

She held a dummy torso, and she was looking at him with that pinched, constipated look she got when she was about to say something especially snobby. Instead, she surprised him. “Brick, thanks for being mature about it. I can honestly say you surprised me.”

He stared at her.

“I’ll talk to Mayor Bellum. I’m sure you’ve done enough to meet your hours quota.”

He had not fulfilled even half of his required community service hours and they both knew it.

“So yeah, thanks. I can finish up here if you want to leave.”

Was she trying to get rid of him? Why?

“Brick? Why are you looking at me like that?”

When Blossom was winning, he was losing. That was simply the way of the world. So, if she was losing, it could only mean he was winning.

“Are you listening to me?”

Brick smiled in what he hoped was a cool, sexy way if he imagined looking at anyone but Blossom. “I can’t hear a word you’re saying. I just keep thinking about how good that mouth feels.”

Blossom stared. “I’m sorry?”

He would make her sorry.

“Yeah, you’re a great teacher. I could really feel your passion for demonstrating the lesson correctly. With your mouth.”

Her staring intensified. “Did you.”

“Oh, yeah.” He leaned his hip against the table like he’d seen in the movies. It worked for Daniel Craig in Casino Royale, and that guy had convinced Eva Green. Iconic. “I could really feel you trying to save me.”

Where was Aiyeesha with her phone to film this? There was so little he could do to rattle Blossom as they got older, and while the challenge delighted him, it was also exhausting being constantly a step behind her. Was this truly her demise? Had he won the Teenage Experience? Was this poetic justice for how she’d once killed him with a mere kiss, only to suffer the same fate in turn? He could have cackled. This was better than trolling the Girl Scouts of America reviews, although he might still do that because it was a genius idea and he had always indulged his own genius ideas when they came to him.

So infatuated was he with his own self-fellating digression that he was slow to react to Blossom sidling up to him. Her hand was still cold on his chin, and it sent a shiver down his spine. “Shall I save you again?”

Brick’s dignity drained with his blood, which was an unfortunate side-effect of being a teenaged boy that he would just have to suffer. But winning was about recognizing one’s weaknesses and working around them. He leaned into her personal space. “Please.”

He wasn’t sure who kissed who first, but it was happening and all he could think was I am better at this than you and I hate you and also Do that again. He tried holding her waist, and she fought back with her fingers in his hair. Not one to be deterred, Brick tried some tongue but pulled back when he tasted thirty degrees below zero. He immediately went back in because he could feel her superiority, her Got you, you horny idiot, but the joke was on her because he liked her cold, always had when it was hot as balls out and he’d make up any excuse to pick a fight with her just for the chance to cool off.

The Girl Scout troop leader walked in on them competitively making out in the classroom like it was an Olympic sport and put an end to things, leaving them at a frustrating draw for now. They said barely a word to each other when Brick glared at the troop leader so bad she flustered and didn’t even question them before running out of there with some excuse about getting the wrong room.

Later that evening, Brick caved and changed the Internet password back just so Butch would quit whining at him. He Googled kissing techniques and spent the next hour and a half watching YouTube videos and reading GQ articles about How to Please Her Like a Champion, because he was a champion and a winner and he was not going to lose to Blossom in this. Not a chance.

This had to be what they meant when they said kill with kindness.

“I’m going to end you,” he muttered to himself as he read about the top ten highest voted movie kissing scenes, which he would then stream and commit to memory in order to be fully armed and armored for the next time he encountered Blossom alone in a classroom. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe during their shared free period.

Truly, he had the most genius ideas.

xxx

If you enjoy my writing, check out more of my fics on AO3, link in my profile. I’m currently updating Trinity House and The Alchemy of Us. Thanks for reading!

[ugh-againwiththenames]

So Many Fanfics So Little Time

This is just my list, I have seen so many (but if you want to use it it’s all yours too!).  I’m not a writer.  But I am a hell of a reader. Voracious one might argue. I just wanted to track my progress through the weeds of the absolutely never ending supply of Destiel and Cockles fanfic. 

Read on if you want to see what I’ve read, and what I’ve thought. I am but one person with opinions - some of them may be unpopular - some of them you might agree with, but if you find something you haven’t read here, I encourage you to do so. 

Honestly, this is just so I can track what I have read already, and when my friends ask, I can reference something easily. I have found some different fics on all kinds of ‘best of’ lists all over the interwebs. And I love recs - so rec away friends. 

As someone who reads a solid 40 novels a year typically, I don’t come by the “I read a lot” innocently. I do actually read a LOT.  When not reading fanfic (a new obsession, all things being fair), I usually read a lot of Fantasy/high fantasy, romance/erotica, and or YA (yeah, that was a bit of a ride no?).  So from this one might digress that I like fluffy, cute stories, complicated and supernatural/paranormal type stories, and I sure do not shy away from violence or smut (or maybe violence with smut? *smirk*). 

I have read all of these in the last 2-3 months (I will continue to add as I go). I had never read a fanfic until 2-3 months ago.  A lot of these wonderful people are on here, and I mean you no offence by not directly tagging you - I’m still learning how to actually properly use this site. Links to AO3 are included (and I love you all). 

These aren’t necessarily in any real order - I did read T&S first, followed by 91W, and 4LW...after that it’s just a shit show of Long or Short, Destiel or Cockles - smorgasbord. Some of these are the most popular Fics out there, and others I’ve never seen recc’d anywhere (just sort of accidentally happened upon them).  So let’s get to it, shall we? 

Twist and Shout - ok look. I understand the stigma associated with this one, but it was the FIRST one I read. It was the ball that shot me down the hill, and I haven’t stopped since. So. I loved it. I CRIED like a baby. SOBBED. It was not the quality of the writing but the way the story was developed and delivered. I have Never Cried Like This Reading a Story IN MY LIFE. It’s a rite of passage. Read It and have an opinion - it doesn’t need to be mine.  

Author(s): gabriel, standbyme   https://archiveofourown.org/works/537876/chapters/955188

Ninety-One Whiskey - aka 91W, it is mentioned so much, and is SO worth the read.  I continued my dive into the war fics (not typically my bag really and here I was reading 2 in a row).  There are a couple of followup stories as well to this series (and yes, I’ve read them all).  Although I’ll say that the original is my favourite. I often got lost in a bit of the War/Tactical descriptions, but would recommend it to anyone anyway. Ugh...the “stolen moments”...they were at the same time tragic and the most amazing things ever.  You feel me? no? go read it. 

Author:  komodobits   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2362190/chapters/5214500

Four Letter Word for Intercourse - aka 4LW.  OMG just, OMG. I loved this story. I loved it so much. I think I read it in a day.  Devoured it. It’s so HOT. Just read it. If you haven’t you’re missing out.  LEMME AT IT. I loved “knowing the secret”, and had some major anxiety about that realization dawning (I had to take a breath, and be like, no, no, this is gonna be a mess, but it’s gonna be SO GOOD - I was not disappointed).  There’s more than one work here too - read them all. PLEASE. 

Author: bendingsignpost  https://archiveofourown.org/works/16086839/chapters/37568591

Memories Bring Back Memories (Bring Back You) - This was the first Sobs one I read, but it sent me on a spree.  this is the Memory Loss one.  I have one piece of advice here - read everything by Sobsicles. You can thank me later...just go to her page, and fucking sort to supernatural (or not, read it all!) I’d list them but I’d fucking seriously be here all day.  Also, her tags make me laugh so hard.

Author:  sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Orpheus - I love this one too, Tattooed!Cas, my LOVE. paired with Mechanic!Dean, my HEART, #help.  Read this one in one evening as well. (I was on a roll).  It’s a one night stand that turns into more (much like my last relationship)....hmm...maybe this is why I was pulled in - although to be fair that is the last similarity to my shitty love life! I do not remember how I stumbled onto this one (tattooed Cas may have been the draw...tbh). Read the warnings though, there is some triggering stuff in this one - but if you can handle it, it’s definitely worth the read. 

Author: sysrae       https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364347/chapters/5220227

Have Love, Will Travel - Can you say no to Stripper!Dean? Cause I sure as hell cannot. Typical sort of character development here with Dean having trust issues, and Cas being painfully awkward...(but in like a super cute way?).  Would Recommend. 

Author: squeemonster   https://archiveofourown.org/works/565455/chapters/1011747

The Inexhaustible Silence of Houses - Change of pace here...It’s got a nice twist.  I didn’t actually clue into how it was going to end until very near the end (maybe I was being oblivious), when the realization came over me and I was...man. I was DONE IN.  I hope that doesn’t spoil (I need some kind of way of remembering them). Voiceless!Cas Hunter!Dean

Author: Askance (doomcountry)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/560268/chapters/1000755

Adagio - This is super short, and super cute. Honestly, I would read the whole thing just for the last line. It’ll take you less than an hour if I remember correctly. Go, I’ll wait. I squeeed. did you? 

Author: noangelsinthegarrison   https://archiveofourown.org/works/1397248/chapters/2928145

Any Little Heartache - super easy read (not in a bad way, but in a ‘you’ll fly through it’ way).  It’s mid-length, not graphic, but really fun hospital AU. HeartSurgeon!Dean / Nurse!Cas - enemies to lovers anyone? Fuck you to Fuck me? yeah. YUM. 

Author: followthattardis https://archiveofourown.org/works/5143376/chapters/11838311

Ad Astra - This is another short(ish) one, just one chapter.  And by that I mean that this is written like a very long poem. Cas as a star who has visited Dean many times over the years of his life, that culminates in 4x01 barn scene. It’s ‘awe’ sad. ‘puppy dog eyes’ sad. The writing format took me a bit to understand what was happening - it’s my lack of poetry knowledge, not the writing.  

Author: nhixxie https://archiveofourown.org/works/1013491

Ad Astra Per Aspera - This is a cute story.  ESL writer, no judgement.  I found this while looking for the one above, and thought the premise looked cute - and it was. Misunderstanding leading to Dean realizing he’s actually Bi.  Miscommunication leading to realization.  

Author: Riverchester https://archiveofourown.org/works/12354336/chapters/28101816

Psalm 40:2 - Time travel post-canon Cas and Pre-series Dean.  If you’re wondering how that works, strap in for this ride, it’s well worth it. 

Author: unicornpoe https://archiveofourown.org/works/30786425/chapters/75992444

Addicted to You - Warlock!Dean/Incubus!Cas - accidental ‘mating’ (I actually really don’t like that word, but there’s sort of no avoiding it in this situation). Cute story.  When you drunk dial a succubus and get an incubus instead...Whatever will we do? 

Author: Ltleflrt https://archiveofourown.org/works/4387346/chapters/9959288 

A Glimpse Beyond - End Fix-it. Not yet complete, 10 chapters so far...I want MORE! Reliving memories Dean/Cas & Sam/Eileen.   

Author: NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731689/chapters/67875925

Cas-ti-el - Please I want more...It’s like the story just started. Please write more of this story!! 1 chapter, it’s a trope prompt challenge, but I want it to be a full on story of its own. Imprinted names of their soul mates, Dean doesn’t understand his (because it’s in a different language)...I’m frustrated by wanting this story to keep going. 

Author:  Valinde (Valyria)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/1941591

Our Bodies, Posessed by Light - another short one. Not going to lie, this one took a little getting used to, and I can’t say that I enjoyed it too much for the sole purpose that the premise gave me the willies.  Cas has to vessel jump - ends up in Sam...I got through it, it had a good ending, but yeah, sorry. This just wasn’t for me. 

Author:  obstinatrix  https://archiveofourown.org/works/260289

Peanut Butter Pumpkin Wedding Cake - Waiter!Dean / Writer!Cas - This is so effing cute, just misunderstanding after misunderstanding bumbling around like the couple of dorks that they are. It’s only one chapter. 100% would recommend. 

Author:  Sparseparsley https://archiveofourown.org/works/223962

Destiel, Actually - This is another super cute story, 5 chapters. Gabriel playing a singular role in putting Dean and Cas in awkward positions to push them together.  I fucking DIED at “oh, I am the sub” - needs context, but I guarantee you that you’ll laugh out loud...

Author:  Bexism  https://archiveofourown.org/works/399934/chapters/658398

The Smell Before the Rain - This was my first A/B/O - a big apology to all those who are into mpreg and whatnot, this was my lesson that I am not. this was not for me. Also - I’m a firm Cas (Alpha/Dom) believer, and i’m good with switch Cas, but it’s hard for me to take him being the full Omega here, when paired with the rest I just couldn’t do it. I finished it, but, not my thing. I know now. 

Author: jscribbles https://archiveofourown.org/works/22355230/chapters/53406127

Crazy Diamonds - This is another short one, only 3 chapters - it’s a body swap for Dean, 4x02 him and 2018 him swap places (assumption that 2018 him is “with” Cas).  It’s a super cute little story. 

Author:  pantheon_of_discord https://archiveofourown.org/works/16151642/chapters/37738631

The Breath of All Things - Wheelchair!Dean / Volunteer!Cas.  This is a lovely story, typical Dean self-hatred etc. Triggering for those with suicide warnings. It had me in tears at the end. There’s a really spectacular quote near the end that I found so romantic I screen grabbed it. 

Author:  KismetJeska https://archiveofourown.org/works/994750/chapters/1967519

Kind of a Forever Deal - SummerCamp!AU This is just a really cute and fluffy summer camp AU.  Which is so different from 91W (That’s right, check the author)! I was a little disappointed with the ending, but otherwise really enjoyed this all the way through and was loving all the discovery and young characterizations of all the characters. 

Author: komodobits https://archiveofourown.org/works/999291/chapters/1978478

Everytown, USA - Best way I can break this one down? Wanderer!Dean (listless and without a place in the world, he ends up in a small town...), Twin!Cas (that leads to some fun things). There are a number of points where you’re gonna yell at Dean for doing stupid shit (that are very much in character for him to do), you think, well, yes, obviously you’re going to do that you silly fucking boy [affectionate]; but whyyy? (but we know). 

Author: aileenrose https://archiveofourown.org/works/1797559/chapters/3854836

Chalk and Chainmail - HighSchool!AU, Cas is an artist, Dean LARP’s - it’s cute and angsty. 

Author:  lemonsorbae https://archiveofourown.org/works/804704/chapters/1517551

A Little Patience - Ok. you want smut? This is your story. You want Kink? This is your story.  I actually did not finish this. It got a little carried away in my opinion. It was VERY panty kink oriented (which, while essentially canon isn’t really my kink) so, if you want that Panty Kink on full display? Go forth and enjoy! it  is thirty something chapters, I got to the mid-twenties I Think. 

Author: riseofthefallenone https://archiveofourown.org/works/1750058/chapters/3739232

Control - I REALLY ENJOYED THIS. Which is saying a lot for someone who has already admitted that a Subby Cas isn’t really my HC - so to so thoroughly enjoy a Sub!Cas story? (maybe it’s the tattooes...*wink*). It’s an AU where Cas is the head of a company - Dean is a callboy I guess, for lack of a better term. Just read it.

Author: dothraki_shieldmaiden  https://archiveofourown.org/works/31156601/chapters/76993217

More (I copy pasted the next lot from my google doc, I’ll flush them out later - no i wont...)

Teach Me (short) - movie night in the bunker, things get a little carried away   Author:  Chiyume  https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961327

You Light the Spark (in my bonfire heart) (short) - when cas doesn't realize that dean is unaware of his feelings, super short, super cute                      Author: noangelsinthegarrison https://archiveofourown.org/works/1193910 

Communication Breakdown (short/cockles) - dean ends up in Jensen's head while he films the confession scene, no sexual content Author: jujubiest   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Look What You Made Me Do (short/cockles) -      -  Vegas Con 2020 / jensen comes out with a song     - cute short - no sexual content Author:  green_blue_heller https://archiveofourown.org/works/30251592 Full House (short/cockles) - reimagined version of the rented house story - putting it in order (so to speak). funny / cute / fluffy not explicit   Author: n_nami  https://archiveofourown.org/works/30855827

Cyber Sex (short/cockles) - anastiel https://archiveofourown.org/works/31467086      - shameless post GISH Fest zoom call porn      - Short (very short)

It's Complicated (cockles) - gail_morgan https://archiveofourown.org/works/31434938/chapters/77747519       The GISHtake (short/cockles) - MellyCrazyCoconut https://archiveofourown.org/works/31508099     - cute short post GISH zoom     - oops "babe, really?"  

(10.02.2021 updated) Since last update: New reads - Fuck i’m gonna be here all day - there’s not gonna be as much gonna be NO detail in these breakdowns...sorry! This has now just become a “what i’ve read list” as opposed to a Rec list...

Love, All Alike (Pt. 1 Love, All Alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4555599/chapters/10370646                             - Though The Stars Walk Backward (pt 2 Love, All alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves

And this, your living kiss - opal_bullets   https://archiveofourown.org/works/18083927/chapters/42744872

Come On, Let's Strike a Match (Domination and Submission: a love story pt 1) - anyrei & queerwerewolf ***   https://archiveofourown.org/works/25722478/chapters/62458810    - Playing With Fire (D&S: a love story pt 2)    - We Kiss and the Flames Get Higher (D&S: a love story pt 3)     - Sparking That Old Flame (D&S: a love story pt 4) 

Cinderwings - bendingsignpost Cinderella!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847041/chapters/29336421

Linden - fleeceframe Swan!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33126730/chapters/82236118

No Netflix, No Chill (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764966

Can't Drink You Away (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28785792 

Jensen Totally (Does Not!) Snore (short RPF) - Dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30315717

Dean Ships It (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30349434

All about control - wingless   https://archiveofourown.org/works/9151930/chapters/20791243

Aesthetics in Autoerotica (pt 1 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant   https://archiveofourown.org/works/3885544                                                             - The Ties that Bind (pt 2 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant

Let's take a drive - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32581027/chapters/80819581 

Enchanted ink - castielslostwings TattooArtist!Dean TattooArtist!Castiel AU ***   https://archiveofourown.org/works/23043622/chapters/55109530

The bones beneath our skin - darknessbound   https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633754/chapters/59515804

The Plot (RPF) - Castiel_Left_His_Mark_On_Me   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2795588/chapters/6274970

The Gentle Force with which you Take Me (RPF) - Phoenix_Ascended   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32110120/chapters/79549183

According to all known laws of Life (Pt. 1 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207901                                                          - and he's back (with a mind of his own) (pt. 2 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles

Six hundred sundays (and many more) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31158776

Aching in the Absence of you - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31832977/chapters/78811378

gorging myself on you, still can’t get full (insatiable) (Short) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32203291

memories bring back memories (bring back you) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Dream Come True (short) - bendingsignpost   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28071159

tall grass - aeli_kindara   https://archiveofourown.org/works/13127040/chapters/30030726

asunder (Short) - rageprufrock https://archiveofourown.org/works/62115

Apheresis - bendingsignpost BloodDonor!AU **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32674783/chapters/81056680

we always were but never knew it - frightfullyrude   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32698324/chapters/81119503

In this Louisiana Bar (Short) - fleeceframe   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31764487

The Hitchhiker's Guide to Alternate Universes - n_nami   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32687929/chapters/81092785

my heart a compass - lagaudiere https://archiveofourown.org/works/28629951

Unsound Inverses - sp8ce (not complete)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29836881/chapters/73413300

The Jensen Mistake (RPFish) - fellshish   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31950169

tell me about the dream (Pt. 1 Kids are coming home) - playedwright   https://archiveofourown.org/works/27984813/chapters/68544450

It's handy to know (FIMMF Themed ;)) - RosaMarloes   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31761322

So Says The Sword - komodobits AngelTrueform!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/12597892/chapters/28695592

Communication Breakdown (RPFish)- darkshrimpemotions (jujubiest)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Carry You Home - Casloveshisfreckles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982637/chapters/65862916

In the Shadow of your Wings - Enochian Things (Salr323)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/7531294/chapters/17121655

When Harry Met Sally (RPF) (Pt. 1 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood   https://archiveofourown.org/works/7622347/chapters/17351845    - Eight Dildos (RPF) (Pt. 2 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood    - Attention, Please (RPF) (Pt. 3 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood             - Boat Trip (RPF) (Pt. 4 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood

A Winter's Tale - NorthernSparrow   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2654327/chapters/5930561

A Close Shave - NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/3090167

r/supernatural - renrub (short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/27626783

sam reads destiel fics - rebshome (short - funny!)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33721624

Angel Cookies - noxsoulmate Chirstmas!AU **  https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729640/chapters/26427765

Under The Midnight Sun - NorthernSparrow Arctic!AU **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/16690645/chapters/39143677

Bron-Yr-Aur - mrbluesky (Short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/28225335

The Dean Winchester Beat Sheet - saltyfeathers   https://archiveofourown.org/works/19258594/chapters/45800209

The Meaning On My Skin - saltnhalo   https://archiveofourown.org/works/18005378/chapters/42538133

Red Right Hand (Pt. 1 Murder Ballads)  - Duckyboos   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4306110/chapters/9760008    - Are you the One that I've been waiting for? (pt. 2 Murder Ballads) - Duckyboos   

Riptides - sharkfish   https://archiveofourown.org/works/13230426/chapters/30263556

Damn Fine Ride - Cimorene105 (pt 1 - rodeo) Cowboy!AU** (I’m a horse girl, sue me...)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14342340    - My Face Just Does This, Sometimes - Cimorene105 (pt. 2 rodeo)    - The Kinkiest Thing I've Ever Done- Cimorene105 (pt 3 rodeo)    - All Signs Point to Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 4 rodeo)    - Monster Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 5 rodeo)    - My Man, The Siren - Cimorene105 (pt. 6 rodeo)    - A Pain in My Ass - Cimorene105 (pt. 7 rodeo)

Astrolabe (terra incognita pt 1) - reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent   https://archiveofourown.org/works/3348812/chapters/7326794    - Drollery (terra incognita pt 2) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent    - Rubrication (terra incognita pt 3) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent

Go Down With This Ship - PorcupineGirl   https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023642/chapters/18370474

Fire and Ice - Castielslostwings (Firefighter/Paramedic AU!) **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/23286295/chapters/55768486

The Structural Similarities of Hunters and Onions - Faster_Than_the_Speed_of_Sound (Short)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33383101

Castiel Novak's Office, This is Dean - emmbrancsxx0   https://archiveofourown.org/works/22411336/chapters/53545840

Out of the Deep (out of the deep pt. 1) - riseofthefallenone - MERMAID AU! **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/548878/chapters/977676

Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx - pantheon_of_discord   https://archiveofourown.org/works/10909440/chapters/24256989

I'll Be Good - LittleAngelCassie   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4118334/chapters/9282234

Kenosis - CastielsCarma (Short - part of Destiel ABC collection)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30411720

[ladyeliot]

PS I LOVE YOU

This One-shot is for @mostly-marvel-musings’s “600 follower challenge.” Thank you for doing this! 

Pairing: Tony Stark x Fem!Reader

Summary: After Tony's death he decides to create a "plan" to say goodbye to you.

Warnings: Fluff and Extremely Sad.

Word count: 2593

A/N: I cried a little bit writing it. Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

This is perhaps the saddest, as well as the most romantic, story you will ever read. Yours. The fantastic, like the quotidian, was in your day to day life. You made the most important decision of your life, to give your heart to the one you loved, even though you knew there would come a day when he would break it. Tony Stark was not an ordinary man, in any sense, but he was the man you wanted to share your life with, the man who drove you crazy in every way, but also the man who made you smile every morning when you woke up next to him.

Like other married couples you had your ups and downs, his work at Stark Industries took up a lot of his time, but what really bothered you was his second job as Iron Man. Every time he put on that suit, your heart would crack, and it wasn't until he returned to your side that it would be forged again. Fear took over as the years went by, but all you could do was support him 100%, because it was his choice.

After the snap, you realised the opportunity that had presented in front of you, an opportunity among millions that the vast majority did not have, you were together, to move on and to have a new beginning. But still a wide guilt rolled around you, “why us?” The years passed and though you chose to drastically change your life, to move away from the big city and find a nest of love and peace, you knew that Tony's mind was still working, searching for an answer and a solution, realising it when the group of avengers came to ask for his help.

A considerable period of time has passed since all these events, but you know that it was this that triggered you to find yourself standing in front of the lake with one of Tony's closest friends right now.

"Before he left for his mission," Happy began, "he asked me to give this to you if anything happened to him.

You wiped away a tear that slid down your left cheek before you looked at him. Tony had made his choice and you supported him all the way, but you never believed that the pain could consume you like that. You focused your gaze on a small device Happy held in his hands, it was tiny, metal and had a small button. 

"What is it?" you asked, taking it between your fingers.

"I'm sorry, I have no idea Y/N."

You took a deep breath and pressed the button lightly. Instantly a hologram of Tony appeared before the two of you. You almost lost your balance in surprise, you didn't expect to find him in front of your eyes, sitting in a chair, in his Tom Ford suit.

"Hi honey!" said little hologram Tony waving his hand. "I hope you're not watching this, but in case you are, that means Happy has delivered it to you and I'm not with you right now."

You put a hand to your face trying to hide the pain you were feeling as you listened to him speak again. Little Tony was also silent for a moment.

"Anyway," he got up from the armchair he was sitting in. "I have a plan! I couldn't leave for the mission without saying goodbye to you, well in fact I just did and quite well, right now you're in the bedroom trying to pull yourself together— " Tony flashed a half smile and shook his head.

You couldn't help but smile at those words.

"Well, on to what we're going.Honey, I hope this doesn't get into your hands, but if it does, I have a thousand things to tell you and it's impossible for me to do it right now. I was hoping to have enough time to tell you for the rest of our lives, but it's not going to be possible," he sat back down and clasped his hands together. "Listen, ever since the guys came to pay me that visit and we realised we could turn things around, I couldn't get the idea out of my head that something might go wrong with the mission, and you know how I am when I get an idea in my head."  Tony laughed and it brought a smile to your face.  Tony laughed and it brought a smile to your face. "I've been planning this ever since, I've thought about all the things I'd want to tell you that I haven't told you and all those special dates I'd love to spend with you that I won't be able to. So I have a plan! And I need you, honey, to help me," the little hologram got up from the couch again and put his hands in his pocket and approached the camera. "First of all I need you to wipe the tears off your face and show that beautiful smile to the world, and Happy too, but except for the smile thing," you both let out a small laugh between tears. "Secondly, I hope you're wearing that black dress I like so much, the one with the back slit, you know," you rolled your eyes and nodded, you were wearing it."And thirdly, I wish I didn't have to ask you this, but I need you to go to the lab, in the safe you'll find a letter, it's the first of several that will be coming to you."  Tony lowered his gaze. "I can't tell you when you'll get more, but I promise they'll arrive when you least expect them.By the way, the password you already know what it is, on our wedding day— " 

In the background, your voice could be heard, urging Tony to return to the room.  

"I'm coming honey!" after he responds he turned his attention back to the camera. "Sorry, my beautiful wife claims me," you smiled and sighed approaching the camera, meeting Tony's face in its fullness. "Honey, you know you're my only weakness. I love you."

Just as he had appeared the hologram disappeared and a void formed again in your heart. You took a deep breath trying to undo the lump in your throat and taking in every word he had said. You looked at Happy who looked as puzzled as you were.

"Did you know about this?" you asked with mixed feelings.

"I promise I didn't," Happy held up his hands in innocence. 

You quickly walked away from the lake and headed towards your cabin, people had left a couple of hours ago, but Happy had chosen to stay with you. You opened the door quickly, followed by your friend and you both walked down to Tony's lab. His things were just as he had left them a couple of weeks ago, as no one had gone in there. You made your way to the safe, hidden behind one of the works of art, and entered the password.

Just as Tony had said, there it was, a white envelope with your name on it, next to a set of clothes, waiting for you to take it in your hands and open it.  Before you did so, you looked at Happy who seemed to be anxious to discover the contents as well. You didn't know what Tony's "Plan" was, nor if it would be beneficial or painful for you, but that mattered little at that moment, because all you needed was to see him, to hear him, or in this case to read what he had written.

You opened the envelope and read it:

"Hello honey, 

I guess if you are reading this envelope you will have seen the holography and I guess it is the "day", so I have a surprise prepared for you, read carefully. What I need you to do is to get everyone out of the house, Happy can stay, take off that dress, Happy won't be there when you do that, and put on the clothes I've left with the letter. 

When you're ready, just tell F.R.I.D.A.Y. to brief you on the use of your armour. I know, I know you've never been in favour of it, but you need it. F.R.I.D.A.Y will explain everything you need to know, you just let go, trust me. Go out and free yourself, eat the world.

PS I LOVE YOU"

That was one of the first letters Tony had planned for you. As time went on, they came to you once a month, as well as on special days, such as your birthday, his birthday, your anniversary, etc. He had planned every minute of those days. Tony knew you so well that he knew what you might be thinking, or how you were feeling. On the one hand, he covered the loneliness you felt without him, but on the other hand he made you feel even emptier and reminded you that he would never be with you again and you could never spend those moments together.

At first it was rewarding, but as time went on you realised that it was impossible to evolve, you had entered a loop from which it was impossible to get out. You spent your days waiting for a letter that might not arrive, and wondering when his "plan" would come to an end and if you were ready for it. Happy was supportive in that sense and tried to keep you grounded, as you both knew Tony best.

One evening you were doing what Tony had instructed you to do in the last letter you had received, the one for your fifth wedding anniversary. Along with it Tony had sent you a black dress along with a pair of high heels, informing you that you were not to leave the house before 8.00 p.m. and to head for the lakeshore when you were ready.

Happy was sitting on the couch trying to hide his concern about the situation that had dragged on for two years. After finishing your touch-ups you said goodbye to him and complied with Tony's details. You had no idea what you were going to find, but as you left, you could see a small square table in the distance, decorated with candles, waiting for you. As you arrived you noticed that a faint song began to play through a small speaker hidden behind some flowers, your song.

"I guess thanks for that, F.R.I.D.A.Y," you said looking at the diamond bracelet Tony had given you when you got engaged that was connected to his AI.

"It was me," you turned around to find Happy's voice behind you.

You frowned and looked at him, realising that he was holding a pair of white envelopes in his hands. A state of nervousness and confusion took over your body, and without being able to say a word you pointed to his hands.

"These are the last of them," he whispered, stepping in front of you and handing them to you.

You smiled, finding tears gathering in your eyes, and nodded, taking them in your hands.

"I'm sorry Y/N," Happy said with a shake of his face. "He made me promise not to tell you anything, and I couldn't refuse to help him either. Even if I wasn't totally on board with this crazy plan. You know how he is."

"I know," you bit your lower lip smiling and wiping the tears from your eyes.

"They're the last ones," he repeated again. "After today, you'll have to move on without them."

After those words Happy went back the way he had come, and instead of taking a seat at the table you approached the edge of the lake. You had before you the last words Tony had written to you. One of the letters read "To the love of my life", while the other read "To that person". Puzzled, you opened the one that said "To the love of my life" first.

"Hello again honey.

How is everything going, is Happy still keeping his nerves under control in this situation? I hope he is and that he has delivered this letter to you.By the way I don't know how the situation has developed, but don't be angry with him, I made him promise not to tell you anything until it's all over, and as you can see that's the point.

The thing is, I'm not going to be able to write any more, today is the last day before I leave for the mission, and if you've finally been getting all the letters, this has to be the last one. I just made you the recording that Happy will give you if things don't go as planned, and you are begging me to come back to our bedroom with you. 

I guess everything I needed to tell you I haven't been able to do, you know there are a lot of things I'm good at, but in expressing my feelings in words I've never really excelled.

I'd love to know what you're thinking right now, or how you feel about the "plan" I've created. Although I also don't know if you've been able to make it this far, or if you've decided not to go through with it anymore. Happy has orders that the moment you say "enough" it's all over, I don't want you to suffer. 

I just want you to be happy, I want you to be as happy as I have been by your side, I want you to show your beautiful smile to the world, I want you to get everything you want.

My honey, I'm going to dedicate these last words to tell you how you changed my life, how you offered me everything I was missing, without even knowing it. You agreed to marry me, you made us a family. And that's what I want for you.

Even though you may feel sad and insecure right now, I need you to show that you are the strongest woman I know and move forward. May you live that wonderful life you wished you had, may you do crazy things, may you meet people and fall in love. May you feel love again, may you rediscover it with someone who makes you happy and may you start a family again. 

Please don't be afraid, I am well and I will be well. Don't think of me, think of yourself, and if you think of me, know that I will be watching you and taking care of you every day. I want you to know that I couldn't leave our house without thinking that you will never feel that way about anyone again, in case I don't come back.

Having said that, honey, it only remains for me to leave you a new letter, a letter for that person who restores your faith in love, who I know you will find one day. I just want you to give it to him or her when you are sure.

So sweetheart,

PS I LOVE YOU"

Requests/Taglist Open (DM)

MAIN MASTERLIST

600 Milestone Challenge Masterlist

[someonewhowannadielol]

My name is JK (Alien!Jungkook! x Human!Reader)

PART TWO (SEQUEL TO ‘MY NAME IS 01001010 01001011′)

CLICK HERE FOR PART ONE

LINK TO MASTERLIST

Warning: Tooth-rotting fluff, Jungkook being a cutie, ok the real warning tags are Daddy kink, birthday sex, innocent reader being trained (???), lots of hicks and marking, cunt slapping, oral sex, uhh and jk being a competitive baby.

Genre: Fluff, Smut, if you squint and look closely, a little bit of humour.

Word Count: 5.6k

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

It had been a week since Jungkook had, ahem, dicked you down. And it has been the best week of your life so far – he showed you things you had never seen before, the most beautiful scenes that your eyes feasted upon. You both had gone to the Neon Valley, it was a vast blue-purple lake that lit up at night due to the minerals on the sand bed below, and the lilies residing there would dance every night.

They fluttered, swung and swayed – and simultaneously, Jungkook and you too, had danced – he took you in his arms and as you both slow danced to the humming of the diva-crackers, you couldn’t help but look at his gorgeous face, adorned with a smile that you’d never replace for anything in this universe. You could feel yourself falling for him, he twirled you with ease, and as you stumbled back into his arms, he lost his balance trying to save you from falling and splash! 

You both had ended up in the hot water, and despite the current situation, you both had burst into boisterous laughter which echoed across the plain field around. In the shining moonlight, Jungkook’s face was more lit up than the neon water they were in, his long hair sprawled across his forehead, as he pushed it back with his left hand, while holding your waist with his right arm.

Jungkook looked at you with such intensity, you didn’t really know how to react. both of you knew you wanted more than just cuddles on your couch that was too small for Jungkook, more than grocery shop romances, and trekking on the artificial mountain, and more than watching movies together,, more than cuddling under the tree at the main park, more than making fun of each other, you wanted each other so much more badly.

“Kiss me,” Jungkook whispered, his face getting dangerously close.

“I’m scared,” Of course you were, but you didn’t move away from me.

“Of what?” Jungkook’s eyebrows bunched up like they always do when he’s confused.

“Of falling. Of drowning,” you answered as you looked into his eyes, how could someone not fall for him?

“Well, I’m already drowning, so don’t be scared, silly,” Jungkook’s eyes formed from his usual doe eyes to half-moon crescents and, you were no longer afraid to fall.

Because he was there, he will always be there, right beside you.

Fuck. You couldn’t help but curse as you saw the red spot on your lavender sheets, they were my favorite sheets. You had really bad mood swings when you were on your period, and you were basically uncontrollable. You saw Jungkook’s figure on the left side of the bed, sleeping peacefully, his chest heaving up and down as he breathes consistently.

“Baby,” you whined, as you almost pushed him off the bed. There was no way that you were going to the pharmacy to get the goods, so he was your only choice possible.

He stumbled as he got up, sleep still swimming in his eyes, as his hands went up to rub them, trying to get rid of the slumber that had taken over him.

“Yes, princess?” he asked in his hoarse voice – which turned you on (especially a lot now, since your uterus was sad, lonely and angry). His eyes travelled to the blood on the sheets, and it would be an understatement to say that he had a heart attack.

He immediately engulfed you in his arms, “Are you hurt anywhere?” he said, unable to breathe, because fuck, if anything ever happened to you, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

The worry in his eyes was making you feel guilty; did he even know what was happening?

“Jungkook, chill,” you laughed a little before directing him to the side of the bed, telling him to sit.

“Humans – well, only females – have to go through a period of time where they bleed. From down there,” you explain, and watch him go into a slight state of shock.

The poor baby just woke up 2 minutes ago, so this was probably hard to digest.

“You… you’re bleeding… and you don’t go to the hospital?”

“Does it hurt?” he asks in the timidest voice ever, careful not to offend you. He remembers once he asked you about body hair and since it was your biggest insecurity (cue Middle School flashbacks when you were the only girl with a slight unibrow and mustache), you couldn’t help but lash out on him.

“Yeah, it hurts a lot in my tummy,” you said on your way to the bathroom, “I need my supplies though, could you get them for me?”

Half an hour later, Jungkook returned with five bags of chocolates, chips and snacks – enough to feed a small village. The entire week, he kept studying you (you swear you saw him looking at you and writing notes in his small notebook, like a detective. Sigh) and your mood swings and tendency to eat the weirdest food combinations – he couldn’t help but gag when he saw you dip a whole cucumber in peanut butter.

“Kookie, cuddle with me,” during the day you would make grabby hands at him, and get him to massage your back, but at night you’d be the complete opposite – wanting to sleep as far away from him as possible. He also noted that you were more sensitive to jokes during the week, so he kept them at a minimum, and his praises at a maximum.

“Baby, you know, you look so cute in my arms,” he cooed, as he kissed your cheek while cuddling. He didn’t miss the blush that crept on your cheeks either.

Also, despite all the bleeding, you were ready to jump his bones anytime. He hasn’t had this much sex with anyone in one week. Not that he minded it.

You were more than ecstatic when you saw your favourite-est food in the world stocked in the human section of the grocery store. Spicy Hot Korean Ramen! You still remember when eating this used to be a challenge, back on Earth.

As you stacked the basket with half the stock, Jungkook couldn’t help but look at the ingredients – what was it that made you love them so much?

He was well, more than shocked to see all the different kinds of spices that humans could barely tolerate, chili flakes, red pepper oil, habanero flavored seasoning… he couldn’t let you eat this!

“Baby, this is too spicy for you, maybe we should buy this,” he pointed to the boring chicken and cheese flavored ramen. No! You were going to buy the spicy one and that’s finalized. Of course, Jungkook looked at you, and couldn’t argue. He doesn’t think he could argue with you even if he tried to.

Back at the apartment, Jungkook bit his tongue, trying not to say “I told you so,” as you fought your tears while eating the horrendous noodles. You were positive you could never feel your numb tongue as you chugged down the glass of strawberry milk that Jungkook handed you.

As expected, Jungkook was prepared for the stomach ache you experienced throughout the night, and gave you medicine to recover.

Before sleeping, you heard him sigh before saying, “I told you so,”

Jungkook had noticed you a lot, ever since you moved in with him. You didn’t have much belongings anyways, because you were only allowed to carry 100 pounds of baggage on the space craft, so you only carried the essentials. (Yes, you brought an oven. Yes, it was 77 pounds heavy. No regrets.)

While getting accustomed to his cozy, but huge apartment, you couldn’t help but trip over furniture. At first, it was his coffee table in the kitchen, next to the refrigerator. Every time you would get something to eat, your pinky would hit the leg of the table, causing you to splutter nonsense and then cry about it.

His bed was also higher than you expected it to be, so every day, for an entire month, after waking up you would underestimate the height – and always, always fall down from it.

He was extremely shocked by your ability to ignore pain, and to continue suffering every day because of the same cause at the same place. It’s okay, because now he’d hold you as you stepped out of the bed, and moved the coffee table to the other side of the kitchen.

He also noticed that humans don’t always have a thought out sleep schedule, they did as they pleased. Last night, you were pretty much half asleep at 4 AM, as you tried to finish the last episode of the new Netflix series.

“You were so sleepy, yet you continued to watch it without even understanding what’s happening?” he asked as soon as you woke up, to which you shrugged.

Again, next week, you forced yourself to get up at 5AM in the morning, so you could go for a jog. After all, you were thinking of getting more fit, all you did was lay on the couch. But as you headed in the bathroom for a shower after the run, he couldn’t help but think that humans are weird.

The first time Jungkook heard you crunch your bones, he was so scared, you almost though he would faint. He threw his game controller on the floor, as he ran towards you – thinking you had dislocated a limb, or something.

“Kookie, I was j-just stretching,” you could barely make out the words, trying to hold in your laughter as he tried to make sure you were okay.

With a sigh, he ran his hand through his fluffy – much longer – hair now, as he headed back to continue his game, “Baby, you’re so weird,”

“But you still love me?” you asked as you joined him on the couch, laying your head on his lap.

“I will always love you. Even if your bones crack,”

Bonus: When you got up at night for a midnight snack, you were surprised to see that Kookie wasn’t in bed with you. You later found him in his office, studying about how a human’s joint makes loud popping or cracking sounds because of the gas gathered there. He was finally content to ensure that you were safe.

Of course, you smothered him in hugs and kisses, because he always looked out for you. Always.

After a few weeks of being in Corellia, you had started to well… miss Earth. It was natural to do so; you’d lived your entire life there.

“I miss the sunsets, they were so pretty,” you spoke as you showed him a polaroid of you and your sister with the sunset behind you both. You pointed towards the one sun you had, and the purple, pink and orange hues of the clouds.

In an attempt to make you happy, Jungkook gave you a chocolate, they always made you happier, and he’d read somewhere something about chemicals in it making humans happier. But he was surprised to see you dancing (terribly) to a pop song, that seemed a little annoying, but he could deal with it.

The song had seemed to lighten your mood a lot, as you danced along with him happily, and as you looked at him, you felt happier. His long, wavy hair bounced as he danced with you. His eyes were smiling, and it was so pure that you laughed along. You were happy finally.

Until two weeks later, when you came across a photo of you and your high school class, trekking up a mountain on your senior trip to the north. Jungkook saw you sad again, missing Earth and your loved ones. Some were dead, some didn’t make it here, and some lived on the hotter side of the planet.

He put up the same pop song again, and cuddled with you on the couch. For the first time ever, you really felt grateful to God for something. You felt grateful that you were alive, and that you had Jungkook along with you. He looked how he looked every day, wearing a casual white t-shirt and grey baggy sweatpants. You adjusted yourself on his lap, and looked at him, and looked into his brown eyes. As you traced his face with your finger, he laughed, “Princess, do you feel better?”

You smile at the word of endearment, kissing his cheek, “You make me realize the difference between a house and a home. A house is a place, made with bricks and concrete, and materialistic items. But a home, is so much different. A home is where you feel belonged, a home is a place where you get that feeling of love. You make me finally realize how Earth was more of a house for me, but here, in your arms, I finally feel like I’m at home,”

You never thought Jungkook would be an overprotective boyfriend. Or a way too over protective boyfriend. During sex, he would go crazy on your body – sometimes treat you like a china doll, fragile and easily breakable, and sometimes it would be rough and harsh, not that you minded it.

His apartment was well, more suited for Jubal people because the ceilings, the bed, and of course, the kitchen cabinets were all bigger in height and size in comparison to your apartments back on Earth. Often, without thinking Jungkook would put food on the top most cabinets, and you often either felt too embarrassed, or too stubborn to ask for his help.

Which resulted in you – dangerously – climbing on the shelf to grab your precious food. This was a routine now, so you didn’t exactly pay attention to your limbs – just letting your muscle memory do the work for you. Right foot on the counter, and then you push your left knee as well, until you’ve made yourself stable on the counter top. Then, you stand up, holding the cabinet handle. Today was the same, but Jungkook had recently scrubbed clean the shelves, so they were more slippery than usual, and there was a fleeting moment when you thought you were about to fall (which would, by the way, give you the nastiest head injury), and before you realized it, Jungkook had looped his arm around your waist.

You were still shocked – chips in hand – when he settled you on his lap, almost like a child.

“Princess, what were you thinking?” he says as he lets you turn around, so you straddling his lap.

“I just wanted some chips, Kook,” you say with an amused grin. He was obviously distressed, as he sighed while running his hands through his hair, like he would when he was frustrated.

“Baby, you have to tell me if you need something from there, okay? What if you had hurt yourself?” his voice seemed to get louder with every words, and just like that, your amused grin was replaced with a pout, as you lowered your head.

 You didn’t mean to make him angry like that.

Looking at you, he knew he couldn’t ever stay mad at you. It was physically impossible for him. He hugged you, and your head rested on his cheat, feeling his fast heartbeat morphed into a more, stable and steady beat, “I’m just always worried for you. Even if everything is wrong, it’s alright, you’re the only good thing in my life,”

It had been ages since you had gone to a festival, and there was going to be a carnival-like festival in Corellia soon. You didn’t think Jungkook would be that interested, so you were quite surprised to see him… so excited about it.

“It comes twice in a year, you have to come! I’ve heard they’ve made it more human themed this year, so you feel welcomed, but we’ll have our traditional rides too!” he spoke with a gleam in his eyes, as you both got ready.

Jungkook of course, made sure you were wearing at least five layers of clothes, two pairs of gloved, and three pairs of socks. It was night time, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of you looking like a walking marshmallow.

“Baby, you look so cute!” he exclaimed, holding your hand. The dead town looked really alive tonight, as the red, yellow, purple and other multicolored lights lit the place up, to make it feel even more alive. You were really shocked at the amount of people present, but that’s what made it even more fun.

The first thing had to be food, you got two plates of fries, because, well, is it even possible or human to share food? And that too, fries? No way. 

Jungkook had recently discovered ketchup, and now he would dip everything in it before eating. Ramen, dipped in ketchup. Chips, dipped in ketchup. Bread, dipped in ketchup. And now, you saw him cover every single chip in ketchup before eating it. While you thought this was disgusting, you were still amused by his new found love for it.

You both scared a giant cup of strawberry milkshake, that looked like it was out of a romcom, cotton candy pink color, with whipped cream on top. And naturally, the cherry. Your noses touched, as you both drank at the same time, and you couldn’t help but want to live in the moment forever.

You both had spent the night, either enjoying rides that were too scary, and hazardous to experience but at the same time too fun to miss out on, or competition with each other to the next level. You knew Jungkook had always been a competitive little shit, whether it was about who would cook better and faster, or about who loved the other one more, he was always in a competition. This was no exception either, as you both we immersed in a car racing game, where you were well, obviously losing.

You had never really been the best at arcade games, and this car games was extremely frustrating, because the goddamn seat was too big and your legs could barely reach the pedals on the bottom while holding onto the steering wheel simultaneously. He laughed as you struggled to multitask, and at one point you didn’t realise you were going the wrong way until you heard Jungkook laughing so hard, he was struggling to breath. Three tries later, Jungkook had had his fair share of victories as he put you in his lap, and told you to focus on the steering only. He’d handle the pedals part. Together, you guys had broken the fastest record of the day and of course, he had to congratulate you. And the congratulations came in a form of a heated kiss – which wasn’t liked by the Jubals waiting in line to play the game.

Later, you both had way too much fun beating others in basketball as you paired up, and beat a Jubal power couple. Then came the bumper cars. The same Jubal power couple had hit your and Jungkook’s car so hard that you almost flew across the set-up, if it wasn’t for the seatbelt, and Jungkook’s arm around the waist. It was safe to say that Kook took his revenge by hitting their car repeatedly, as he shoved them into a corner. You kissed your over protective boyfriend on the cheek, he was just so fricking cute.

You both ate more food than you could handle, and as you were walking, Jungkook bought a donut and tried to feed you.

“No! No, Kook, I swear!” you tried to get away from him, but he held your waist as he pushed the donut in your mouth, smearing it over your cheek in the process.

“Kook!” you exclaimed, as he kissed you, and licked away any leftover icing.

You couldn’t help but blush when he smirked, “Sweet.”

At the end of it all, you pushed Kook into a small photo booth that sat on the other end of the carnival.

“Please? Come on!” you tried to show him your puppy eyes, and turned your lips into a pout.

“But baby, I don’t look good in photos!” he whined as you inserted the money to take a four portrait photo.

“Please? Just this once? For me?” you pouted again, and pushed him in with you, and you tried to drag his arms.

“You can’t give me the puppy dog face! You know I can’t say no to that!” he whined, adjusting you in his lap.

“Just pose, Kookie,” you said as you closed the red curtain on the side. In the first one, your arms were around his neck as you laughed and looked in the camera, and he looked at you, pouting. The second one, you both looked at each other and smiled, his hands in your hair. The third had been him grabbing your face, squishing you cheeks and bringing you closer (but because of the movement – it was also blurred, at which you were disappointed, but Kook assured you it looked good), and lastly, in the fourth one, you were kissing passionately, while Jungkook smiled in the kiss.

You both climb the small hill, where people are buying and lighting their lanterns in an orderly manner. You both buy one, and you end up writing “JK X Y/N” on it with red paint, and before Jungkook lights it, he adds a red heart, and “4EVER,” underneath which looks so cheesy, that it makes you laugh.

He looks at you, and kisses your forehead. Around 10:30, everyone lets go of their lanterns, and you both also let go of yours, letting it fly in the sky, as Jungkook cups your cheeks and pushes your hair back, before kissing you, sweet and slow.

The night had come to an end as all the Jubals were leaving too. You didn’t know exactly what time it was, but it was definitely i-can’t-walk-o’ clock, as Jungkook gave you a piggy back ride without any questions when he saw you stumbled into others. In one hand you held the teddy bear he had won from the water gun thingy, and in the other you held a cotton candy like sweet – but it wasn’t exactly cotton candy. It was blue and purple, and shined because of the crystallized sugar on it.

The last thing you remember was resting your face where his shoulder and neck met and mumbling, “This was the best day of my life,”

If someone had told you that you’d have a cook off with an alien in two months’ time, you would’ve laughed in their face. But. Here you were. Trying to cook the best alfredo pasta he would ever taste in his life.

You tried to glance on his cooking station multiple times, only to be pushed back, “Baby! It’s supposed to be a surprise!”

Jungkook really seemed to be absorbed in the cooking process, and you were starting to feel deprived of his love and adoration that he would usually shower at you when he was not working in his office.

30 minutes later, he brought you his favourite dish, the one that his mother used to cook for him when he was younger. It was orange red-ish coloured deep fried small cutlets, that smelled… amazing. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it tasted like, it was salty, but in a different way. And so, so, yummy. You were a little insecure when Jungkook took a bite of your pasta, and showed no emotion.

Oh no, you had tasted it and it felt pretty normal, juts how you’d make it on Earth. Was he allergic to something in it?

“Baby, what did you put in this?” he asked, but he didn’t seem to stop eating it. He didn’t speak anything until, well, he finished the dish.

“Can you make that for me every day?”

It had been over six months, since you and Jungkook had been seeing each other. Naturally, as a couple you both did fight – mostly over stupid stuff, like which restaurant to go to, or disagreements on what to buy etc. But you both would always sort it out, no matter what it was, he was always by your side.

It was his birthday, and Jubals never really celebrated their birthday – “Why would you celebrate this? I’m just one more year near death,” he said as you told him about ‘Earth Traditions’.

Albeit to whatever he said, you made yourself busy when he went out to meet the gang. You’d met them a couple of times before, being much closer to Taehyung because he never really questioned whatever you did, and just went along with it. You had enjoyed Jimin and Jin’s company as well (mostly because they cooked for you, not gonna lie).

As you hung up the balloons that said, “Happy Birthday!” individually, you had started to well, decorate yourself as well.

You knew how Jungkook always looked at you as if you were the most pure creature in this universe, his innocent little baby, so you decided to dress the part. Dressed in white panties, with a small bow on them, you adjusted your pink tinted, bra that came along with it. It left little to the imagination, as it was see-through, but there were small bows on each nipple, making you look like a present. You’d never really been the one to dress up in stockings as well, but here you were, tweaking your garter, as the pink shaded white see-through material latched on your legs as a second skin. Now, you waited patiently.

He finally came, around half past seven, and looked better than ever. You’d worn your silk robe that you would usually wear around, so he wouldn’t suspect anything. He looked so happy, his eyes crunched up into its usual crescent shape as he laughed while blowing the candles and eating your home-made cake. He had always loved your baking, so when you made his favourite Oreo cake, he was really, really happy. You’d made him a teddy bear – you were bad at sewing, but hey! A for effort.

“Kook, there’s a present in your bedroom too,” you said as you took his left hand and guided him in the bedroom. You had given him several gifts already, so why were you giving him another one?

“Baby, you didn’t have t-“ he stopped as soon as you dropped your robe in front of him, letting him take in the sight of you, clad in your lingerie that he had only imagined in his wildest fantasies.

The light hearted aura around him seemed to vanish, as a darker shade took over his eyes. Without speaking anything, he carried you bridal style, to the bed and laid you down softly on it.

“Gonna let me taint you, angel?” he asked, and at the sight of him, you couldn’t help but moan and nod.

“Use your words, baby,” he said as he let his fingers roam on your figure, and lit a fire in your core, making you overwhelmed.

“Yes, Daddy, please make love to me,” you whine, but he tsks on your choice of words.

“Angel, my princess,” he says as he leaves a trail of wet kisses from your neck to you collarbone, sucking on it, “I’m not going to love to you today, I’m going to fuck you, baby”

You gasp as he circles around the bow on your nipple, before ripping the thin material completely, letting the cool air hit your vulnerable skin.

As Jungkook just keeps looking at you, his long hair shadowing in front of his eyes, you can’t help but feel needy, “Daddy, please, touch me,” you whine, trying to get ahold of his hand.

He gently brings his mouth down, sucking on the little tip of your nipple, as his tongue works magic around it, and you’re already starting to get wet.

“It’s u-unfair that you’re all d-dressed up,” you moan, as you try to take off his white t-shirt. He chuckles as he takes off his shirt, letting you look at his god-like body. You were speechless when you first saw him, and you still are every time you both have sex.

His lean body, is just perfect in every way, and the way the moonlight hits his face, giving his face the shadows that come along with the highlights, you were dumbstruck at how breathtaking he was.

While Jungkook loved to mark you, mark your body, make you his, today was harsher, much more aggressive as he bit your chest, making you cry out in pleasure. He painted your body in hues of purple and bright pink, using his tongue to make each bruise feel better. As soon as he reached the hem of your underwear, he stopped, and that resulting in a whine from you.

“It’s my birthday, and you said I deserve anything on this day. So, princess,” he said, unbuckling his belt, and you swallow hard before he lets his cock free, ”let me fuck those beautiful tits,”

He pushes himself into your mouth without any warning, letting you groan and whimper as you produce enough saliva to make him sopping wet, “Good baby,” he whispers as he lets his dick between your tits.

You smiled, as you held your breasts together, and he slides his hardening member between them, “fuck baby, you’re so soft, so pretty for Daddy,” he murmurs obscene praises as you whimper in pleasure from the friction between your breasts.

He places his cock between them, and first experiments with his movements, and as time passes, he becomes faster, and messier. You both didn’t mind the mess, as his pre-cum lands on your chest, collarbone and nipples, and you can only whine in pleasure while letting him use your body.

His movements go from steady and fast to uncoordinated and stuttering, as he pulls out and pants, letting him catch his breath.

“Fuck, baby, they felt like heaven, but there’s something else, way better,” he grins as pulls himself down on your body, and looks as you underwear, directly. It makes you whimper, when you feel his hot breath through the thin material. He laps his tongue on it, and it feels so good, but not good enough, and you wish he would just take it off.

“Daddy, please, take it off,” you whine and he pulls your legs further apart and digs his face between them.

He smirks and looks at you, already fucked out as a blush stays on your cheeks. Angelic.

“Keep the stockings on, okay, sweetheart?” he says as his finger traced down your leg, as you shiver under his touch.

He comes up to you and cups your face, pressing a kiss against your cheek – and it felt so chaste in comparison to what you both had just done.

And before you could realize, he slips his fingers under the hem of your panties, and shreds them into pieces.

“What do you want from Daddy?” he stops in front of your clit, spreading your lips, waiting for your answer. He knew you were shy, too shy to speak vulgar words, but you were just so needy right now.

“Daddy, I need your tongue,” you speak, and let his tongue sit flat on your bud, it gave enough stimulation, but at the same time not enough, and you just needed more. You couldn’t help but buckle your hips into his face, and that resulted in his getting up and looking at you, making eye contact.

“You’re being ungrateful now, huh?” he says as he smacks the bud hard, where seconds ago he let his tongue rest. It’s painful, but at the same time, it just feels so, so good. He smacks it two more times before letting his teeth sink in your inner thigh, as you let lewd noises escape your mouth, as he further marks your thighs, and you knew, for sure that they would last a long time.

After a lifetime of teasing, he lets his tongue slurp the cum that escaped your pussy, as he went to town on it, eating you out as if he’s been starving for years. You let your moans escape as he slips his tongue inside you, and lets his nose rub against your clit. You were so close, just about to fall off the edge as he pulls himself away, and you whimper, grabbing the sheets as if your life depended on them.

“Your cunt is always, always so pretty and tasty for Daddy,” he smacks between your thighs again, making you gasp, “always ready for Daddy,”

His ruffled, brown hair shines in the dark of the room, the moonlight being the only source of light, illuminating his face.

He lets his dick enter you, gently, until you reach your limit and instead of waiting like he always does, he rams back into you again, letting you adjust with his steady movements, as you grab his hand and hold it. He always holds your hand when he’s being rough, to let you know that he can stop anytime. (but u is a hoe)

He slides out until only his tip is inside you, and lets himself into you all at once, fast and reckless. Wild. It isn’t long before your walls clench around him, “Daddy, I-I’m so close,” you say as your rub you clit, slowly with a continual movement.

You orgasm starts first, hot and sticky liquid, dripping down you thigh, staining your perfect stockings, and soon Jungkook follows, as his head buries in your neck, and he groans before letting himself loose.

“Happy Birthday, Kookie,” you whisper before letting him take you to the tub, where you both well, fuck again.

LINK TO MASTERLIST 

A/N: It’s always so fun to write alien!jk, and I hoped you guys liked it. Also, a huge thank you to @bisoo-ausucre for supporting me so much!

Could you please help me decide what to write first? Frat boy!jk OR titanic!au with Jimin as Jack? 

As always, requests are open, and so is my inbox. See you next time!

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

OKAY SO-

can i get a platonic matchup pleaSeEeE?

okay, so- lets talk about myself sdsnfnenxnf

My name is Jei, I use she/they pronouns, I am 5’11” and I ABSOLUTELY AM THE AWKWARD TALL KIND OF PERSON (I wish I wasn’t tho-). I have short curly hair, (RANDOM THOUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS, DO YOU EVEN NEED TO KNOW HOW I LOOK FOR A P L A T O N I C MATCHUP? weeeeelll i am already here so, lets just keep going ig) I am like b i g IDK BAHSHAHSHABS

As you can see I am a bit uH chaotic (it is a daily thing but iDK TODAY I AM JUST OVER THE TOP) I am an ambivert, I am an INFP, Aries sun, Cancer moon and Sagittarius rising sbdsndns

I uHhhHh- I am very awkward in first meetings but if we have something in common I’ll ramble about our common interest which almost always leads to me talking about other stuff.

I am a Marvel fan if that’s uUuuh- important? I LOVE UM GOOD OMENS BAHSHAHZHA, i dOnt even know what i am talking about anymore but lets keep going BABDBAHZHA

I have a B I G variety of music taste, from 40s big band songs to uhhhHh lets just say ppcocaine(???

I get distracted w a y too easily, I tend to get lost on time

I LOVE TO DRAW AND TO WRITE (but i never have time to finish so me is very m a d >:))

My best subject is english, english teachers always love me for some effing reason :D

My favorite colors are orange, green, coffee? (COFFEE IS A COLOR? I FORGOT OMFG) OH SHOOT WAIT I HAD TO SEARCH IT UP, IT IS CALLED BROWN BAHAAHHAHAHA I AM SO STUPID, beigeEs and blaCk >:)

yeah, i like dark academia buT in a like chaotic rebel way if it is possible???????

AM I MAKING ANY SENSE NOW???? i am sleep deprived so i don’t really knoW

I tend to see the good in people (yes that includes bad people too, sadly), I have troubles speaking for myself in situations where people are troubling me,,,

What elseeee????

I am lazy sometimes, I’ll admit it 😌☝🏽 and it gets on my nerves:D (i am working on it tho)

All my time is sucked by school, I am an overachiever and adbanxnajxjs i cry cuz school u know? <3

And I think that’s it?????

THANK YOUUU, HAVE A NICE DAY/NIGHT

@burntbayleaf IM SORRY BUT WE NEED TO BE FRIENDS

Also yes my Aries sister 😩

Platonic Matchup

Nishinoya Yuu

How Y’all Met

Aight

So you rolled up into school with a FIRE marvel t-shirt

And nishinoya being a marvel fan himself took IMMEDIATE notice

So what did he do

Approach you of course 🙄✋

However...

It was quite awkward at first 🥲

He really just went up to you and was like

“Oh you like marvel? What’s your favorite movie, or do you prefer the comics?, OH Have how ever seen...”

And he just went on and on and on

But when he realized he was rambling he apologized and asked you the first question again

Now it was your turn to ramble on and on about your interests

But honestly noya just rolled with it

Rooooooollliiiinnnng Thunnndaaaa

After you both were done with your rambling

He invited you over to his house for a #MarvelMarathon

And who tf were you to say no

So you pulled up to his house and started the marathon

In the middle of said marathons noya’s phone started to ring

And what was his ringtone?

Ppcocains PJ

And what did you do when you heard this?

Sang along ofc

And noya was just in shock

But after overcoming his shock he started singing with you

Yeah...he missed that call

But who gives af! Y’all are having a concert rn!

The day bled into night and he offered for you to stay the night

Not wanting to walk home in the dark you agreed

And oml the night was just filled with movies, mini concerts, and junk food 👀

Ever since that night you and him have been attached at the hip

What You Have In Common

Well obviously you both like Marvel

And ppcocain

But you both have a chaotic energy that mashes well with each other

You both have small attention spans/ get distracted very easily 😀

Istg conversations with you two are all over the place

One minute it’s this subject then two seconds later it’s a different subject

Fun fact: you made him watch good omens with you and now he’s obsessed

He says he has a deep emotional connection with Crowley ❤️

Favorite Things To Do Together

Good lord

Honestly if he could just recreate your first sleepover

Life would be perfect

Because THATS his favorite thing to do with you

Just bonding over common interests

Whether that be with music, movies, hobbies

Whatever

No matter what you two do it’s always a party

OTHER THAN BEING CRAZY THO

He actually really likes to have drawing competitions with you

Even though he always loses 🥲

You’ve offered to not make it a competition

But he says that’s what make it fun :)

Random Hc

Oh your his personal tutor

100%

He needs help with school

Screw the teachers

Screw the tutors

There is only ✨you✨

He has also volunteered you as a tutor for the team :D

without your knowledge....

You two have weekly movie nights

But lately he’s just been binging good omens with you

Speaking of Good Omens 👀

That is YOUR show

Like if one of you even watch ONE episode without the other

All hell breaks lose

Ok off topic Hc but people think your the equivalent of asahi 🥲

Astrology

Independent Aries and collaborative Libra form a funny sort of friendship.

Aries tries convincing Libra to take chances, shake off criticism, and be more direct.

Libra constantly tells Aries to slow down, smell the flowers, and be more appreciative.

It's an odd couple type of relationship that can work extremely well.

Aries can learn the fine art of diplomacy from Libra, while Libra may become more assertive thanks to Aries.

While the Aries and the Libra are opposing each other from an astrological point of view, they can still become friends very fast.

The Aries admires how the Libra is graceful, stylish and funny, while the other way around, the latter truly likes how determined to take part in new adventures and always courageous their friend is.

Of course, the friendship between these two will sometimes be challenging because the Aries can get hurt seeing the Libra is flighty, while the latter may not like the way the former is pushy.

However, these two can easily make up and neither of them likes to hold a grudge.

Aesthetic

Chaotic ⚡️👹💥

Songs-

PJ - Ppcocain

Tokyo Drift - Teriyaki Boyz

Won’t Bite - Doja cat

My Axe - Insane Clown Posse

[oceansmelodysblog]

A Warm Breath from the Mountains

chapter 2

A Breath of the Wild fanfiction

Authors: @quepasta & @freshbreezesworld

-----

When I woke up the next morning, I found myself in one of the comfortable Rito beds in their inns. Zelda was sleeping peacefully beside me, her face turned towards me. There was something magical about seeing her in her warming nightclothes, sleeping beside me, surrounded by majestic mountains and a pleasant cold. I took advantage of the situation to watch her sleep undisturbed and gently stroked the strands of hair from her face. My arm felt numb under her head, but it was worth it to me to have her so close. Hopefully she would never know how I felt about her, because the closer we got, the more complicated it would get with her desire to rebuild Hyrule. It was getting to be time to wake Zelda up, so a prank came to mind.

Carefully, I pulled my arm away and sat up. I had to massage and shake my arm to get the blood flowing, but I didn't mind. As long as it didn't kill me, the sarcastic thought occurred to me.

I jumped out the window and landed noiselessly on the grassy ground that surrounded the guest cottage and grabbed a stalk, climbed back in over the same window and sat down cross-legged in front of Zelda's face. One last time I examined her contented sleeping face, which she always had when I slept next to her. Then I took the stalk and tickled her nose and ears. Hectically she tore her eyes open and patted her body and face with her hands in panic. I let out a laugh and almost toppled off the bed to see her like that. She noticed my reaction and stopped abruptly and just looked at me questioningly "Link, what have you done now!"

Again I snorted, this time it was her confused look. I tried to gasp for breath and at the same time explain to her what I had done, which proved to be a challenge for me. "Link!"

„Don’t worry Zelda! I only tried to wake you up. “

„apparently you did. Great job. And never do this again, whatever it was.“ Now she was annoyed and I nearly lost it again but I needed to focus.

„Anyways. Today starts your first lesson on how to cook. We have to gather some ingredients from the Hebra mountains, so let’s get started, because the day will pass before we even reached the stables.“

As I said that, I jumped from the bed and took off my night wear to change into my Rito armor. I was so used to be alone all the time that I forgot to warn Zelda. Of course she started to squeal. „Link! What is wrong with you, why don’t you warn me before taking off your clothes!“ I smirked at her to provoke her even more. „You can see more if you want!“ I said and received a smash of a pillow in to my face. „You’re ridiculous! “ she was about to burst out by clenching her fists but I reached over the bed to her and held her wrists tight. „Zelda I am just kidding, don’t be mad at me. You can change your clothes in peace, I will wait for you at the gate to the village. “

As I walked away from the inn, on the way to the gate, many Rito villagers greeted me heartily. It seems they weren’t mad at me anymore, I guess Saki did tell them, I was a complete fool, to ease their minds. But then I bumped into the the Rito warriors and even they greeted me and apologized for their behavior. I will have to ask Saki about this later.

I talked to the guard about the surroundings and if he saw dangerous threats around this area and he said besides the already existing monsters in the mountains, the area around the stable and the village was safe for travels. When I thanked him for his advice I turned back to the stairs and my eyes caught a goddess standing in front of the goddess‘ statue. She wore a full white coloured Rito snow quill armour and looked astounding.

She had her long hair braided to a ponytail and her face was framed in gold through two thick strands of her hair. My heart fluttered at her forest green eyes shimmering like the surface of water in the incoming sunlight. Her shy smile adorned her pretty face, which was framed by strands of her golden hair.

Slowly I realized I was staring at her for too long and as a result she blushed. “Do you like my new outfit that much?” she asked curiously.

Slowly and elegantly, she stepped down the stairs while I couldn’t get out of my staring even when she stood right in front of me.

“Zelda... You... You look like a goddess.” I said without thinking twice. As I realized what I said, my eyes widened and became nervous. ‘How did I let this happen?’

“I-“ I was about to start to say, but Zelda interrupted me before I could finish the sentence.

“Link, please don’t be sorry. I appreciate your compliment… and I wish you would say what you think more often.” Zelda folded her hands in front of her chest and looked directly into my eyes. She had an intense glimpse sparkling in her mirrors of her soul while she smiled at me in a way that I couldn’t lay my eyes off. It gave me an intriguing feeling.

"Everything my princess desires," I finally replied.

Even though I had only addressed her by her title, it slowly dawned on me how ambiguous it sounded, and I couldn't help but smile. Zelda giggled adorable in response. I scratched the back of my head, which I always did when I messed up things.

 "Let's get to the stables before it gets dark. We will need our horses in the deep snow to move faster. After that, we'll let them rest near our campfire so they won't freeze." I finally said leading her the way.

Zelda nodded in agreement and broke away from me. We then walked across the bridges in comfortable silence, admiring the majestic view, until we arrived at the stables.

"Link, why did you name your horse Altay? I've never heard that name before," Zelda asked as I picked up our horses.

I had captured and tamed a direct descendant of her favourite horse, before the battle against Ganon, and held the white proud mare by her reins so that Zelda could pet and caress her in peace.

My mount, however, compared to hers, was like the night itself. My stallion had black fur and a black mane that was cropped into a mohawk. His forehead had a white mark that ran to his mouth. His fetlocks were covered with longer fur - an indication that he could cope with any weather. Basically, my horse was the perfect mount for me; fearless, strong and not afraid of any obstacle.

"An old man I once met on my journey told me about a warlike people who were unbeatable on their horses. They called themselves the Altay Warriors, after a mountain of their ancestors and deities. I don't know what happened to these warriors, but I still found the story impressive. When I found my buddy, here beside me," I lovingly stroked my horse's mouth as I continued, "I knew he was just as tough as those warriors and gave him that name. He loves it when I call him by his name." I smiled and helped Zelda onto her horse, grabbing her hip and hoisting her onto the saddle with ease. I loved those tiny touches and the way she smiled happily as I did so.

"Thank you Link, a gentleman as always." She said and gave me the intriguing look again.

I winked at her and turned to my horse and mounted the saddle. We had both opted for the 'Travelling Saddle' as it offered more storage space.

“So, Link will you tell me now, where we’re heading? You didn’t tell me more than that we would camp in the Hebra mountains.” She asked as we rode our horses in a slow walk.

“You will see, when we’re there, Princess.”

“Link that’s not fair, I want you to tell me where we will go. I want to be prepared.”

“Prepared for what? You won’t need to do anything but study the flora around us.” I said as I spurred my horse on.

At a trot we rode past the felled trees as the cool wind blew through the long stalks of grass.

“Because I want to learn new things and be useful, after you injured your shoulder, you must have realised too that you can’t be always there for me. Let me at least learn how to hunt with a bow. And no – the bow of light is something else.”

The group of trees in front of us was often filled with Oktoroks, so I kept my eyes open, but we had been spared this time. I breathed a sigh of relief when we reached the huge rock face to our left.

“I will think about it, princess,” I said and immediately saw a glimpse of sadness in her eyes. She turned her head away and sighed frustrated.

‘As if I could ever refuse her wishes.’

We had barely reached the sand-coloured rock cliff when the illuminating blue light of a shrine in the near distance caught my eye and pointed in the direction. Zelda looked out for the point in the distance that I was pointing at and drew in her breath sharply. I looked to her and watched as her eyes began to sparkle like opal.

"Link, there's another shrine! And it's glowing blue too! Link!  Link! Let's explore the shrine!"

"That's the Bareeda Naag shrine I entered a while ago. That's probably why it glows blue instead of orange, since I completed the trial inside."

Eyes dilated like those of an eagle, stared at me in shock.

As we trotted on, I kept an eye on the surrounding area, knowing that a camp of monsters was hiding behind the rock face.

"The shrines you wanted to explore 100 years ago turned out to be trials for the hero with the mastersword. They served to restore my original strength and endurance. Ancient, mummified monks waited for me in these shrines and gave me different tests. Which amazes me though, because these shrines were created 10 thousand years ago, with the sole purpose of helping me. How could the ancient Sheikah have known this? But if they knew about our miserable fate, why didn't they take action against it? So many questions ran through my mind as I travelled through Hyrule with no memory."

I stared at the pommel of his saddle as I moved my hip to the rhythm of Altay. Absentmindedly, I stroked through the spiky Mohawk mane.

I only realised I was lost in thought when Zelda placed a hand on my shoulder, snapping me out of my hazy memories of the devastation.

"Link, why don't you tell me what you saw in the shrine? What was that trial you had to pass?"

Grateful for the distraction, I gave her a smile.

"Activating the shrine first was a challenge in itself," we rode past the ruins that surrounded the shrine as I continued, "Laissa, the wife of Kass the poet, sang me an ancient Rito song that contained the solution to the challenge. I quickly found out that through the heart-shaped hole in the steep rock in Rito village, the sun had to shine on an illuminating pedestal and had to be shot with a fire arrow. Shortly thereafter, a shrine rose up from between those ruins and cleared the way for me to take the next test. In the shrine, with the help of my bomb module, I catapulted a huge stone ball at a huge target that was blocked by crumbling stones and floating pedestals that moved back and forth to make my job more difficult. I only had to shoot twice, once to pulverise the stones and a second time to fire at the target at the right moment. It was admittedly one of the easier tests I had to complete." As I told her more and more, her eyes lit up with fascination, but then I remembered that I hadn't even introduced her to Kass, let alone Teba, the Rito's bravest warrior. The thought of Kass led me to remember the final verses of his teacher’s completed ballad.

"Link are you all right? You looked very nervous and troubled for a moment."

"I'm fine. I just remembered one of the freaky trials."

I decided to withhold Kass' ballad from her for the time being, as I wasn't sure if it was true. I just couldn't imagine Zelda seeing me as more than her best friend.  

"Do you want to tell me about it? You went through so much before you came to rescue me, and yet I can only begin to comprehend what you've been through."

A spark of admiration flitted across her face, but just as I was about to begin to tell, I harkened and halted abruptly.

Puzzled, Zelda stared at me, but before she could ride past me, I grabbed the reins of Himawari, Zelda's mare, and slowed her down. She neighed loudly in fright, but I managed to shush her with my "Ho! Ho. Hoa!" to calm her down.

Altay sensed danger nearby and flared his nostrils. Nervously, he shook his head and exhaled loudly.  He was ready to face the danger.

I heard only the deafening snore of a Hinox, but I knew that if Altay reacted in such a way, there were Yiga nearby who could appear out of nowhere.

I could not hesitate for long, made up my mind quickly.

With my right arm I grabbed Zelda by her waist and dragged her from the saddle onto my lap, slapping Himawari on the back and we galloped as fast as Altay could.

Zelda cried out, constricted in my bent-over stance to brave the wind. I could hear a diabolic laugher, far behind us. I pushed Altay to run faster and quicker.

"Hold on tight!", I yelled against the wind.

Himawari galloped ahead of us, but Altay quickly caught up with her and sprinted past. We had to get away quickly, far away from any lurking danger.

"HYAH!", I yelled and spurred Altay and Himawari on.

The icy headwind whipped my face and froze my ears and nose. I hugged Zelda tighter to me with one arm to protect her from the weather while she wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face against my shoulder.

I could hear Altay's powerful lungs quivering with joy. I heard every breath as his hooves pawed into the ground. I felt every muscle he moved.

My lungs burned with icy cold, but I gritted my teeth until we reached the crossroads to the Hebra Mountains. Once there, we stopped abruptly and Altay reared back, whinnying. I tightened my legs so as not to fall off the horse and pressed Zelda against me while pulling the reins tight with one hand.

Zelda clung tighter to me as she let out a suppressed squeal.

"Ho! Ho!", I shouted to calm Altay down.

When Himawari reached us, I released my reins, stretched out my arm and grabbed Himawari's reins as she charged towards us. I concentrated, tensing my leg muscles to sit firmly in the saddle, and pulled my arm towards me with all my might to intercept Himawari's momentum. I pulled hard on her reins, keeping Altay under control, and pushed Zelda onto my lap until Himawari came skidding to a halt.

I exhaled with relief and let go of the mare's reins. I relaxed my grip around Zelda's waist so that she could relax. Her legs hung off the side of my lap and her hip was pressed painfully tight against the pommel of my saddle.

"Forgive me Princess, I had to get us away from there as quickly as possible as I sensed through Altay that this place held some danger. I hope I didn't hurt you."

I slid further back in the saddle to move her a little away from the pommel, but I bumped into the pack on my horse's back.

Zelda let go of my neck and looked up at me.

"I could have ridden after you on Himawari, couldn't I?"

"No. I can protect you better if you're right there with me. The Yiga have the art of appearing out of nowhere and attacking you with sword and bow. They could have separated us by waking the sleeping Hynox and kidnapping you quite easily."

Her beautiful face was millimetres from mine, I couldn't help but gaze into her deep green eyes. Her pupils dilated, her lips opened a crack and honey sweet breath, clouded my mind. Feeling her chest rise and fall steadily, I realised my hand was still at her waist and she was sitting on my lap.

I tried to calm my racing pulse and deep breaths so as not to take any more space from her by my strong rise and fall of my broad chest.

Silently, we sat there staring into each other's eyes. Even though I was a disciplined knight, I was only a man. My gaze fell on her slightly parted lips. Magnetically attracted by her breath, my mouth approached hers.

But suddenly a thought flashed through my mind and made me jerk backwards. I was still her knight, protector and closest confidant. I had no right to kiss her.

"Sorry princess. That wasn't planned" I cleared my throat and tried to gather my thoughts. But then I noticed Zelda's sad face.

"Princess? Why are you so sad?"

Zelda furrowed her brows and averted her face. However, it felt like I had put a rift between us.

"It's nothing. We should keep moving or we'll never get to the snow mountains." She signalled me to lower her down. Carefully I hoisted her onto Himawari's saddle and we rode along the mountain pass, following the path.  A herd of wild horses crossed our path and galloped ahead of us, across all directions. At the end of the trail was a hut with a campfire and we decided to let the horses rest at this spot.

"What is this place?" Zelda asked.

"Hebra Trailhead Lodge. See that wooden ladder? If we climb that, we'll get to Rosporo Pass. From there we get to the Hebra south summit. The pass to the right of the mountain takes us past Corvash Peak Mountain to Hebra Plunge and Hebra Falls. But the way is a long one on both paths, I suggest making a campfire close to this hut, but stay at the pass.”

 --------------

I set my foot down lightly in the snow, huffing as the snow crackled underneath my boot. I had been walking around for at least 10 minutes while trying to keep my steps silent. How did Link always walk so quietly? He could run across a field and not make a sound. How many times had I seen him scramble up the side of a building, sneaking around the townspeople while goofing off.

Link had told me to find hot peppers and wild berries, and I had found neither so far. Somehow I convinced him to let me wander off by myself, though I figured he was staying close in case I needed him.

The quiet landscape around me had been cast in a yellow glow as the sun started sinking behind the mountains. The light hit the snow that clung to the tree branches and the snow sparkled in return. The reflected light from the snow danced on the fresh snow on the ground. I breathed in the cold air while I trekked on, smiling as I took in the beauty of it all. I couldn’t imagine ever getting used to the beauty of the Hebra region.

Soon I found a group of wild berry bushes and began plucking the berries into my pack. I wasn’t sure what Link was planning to teach me to cook tonight, but I was excited that it included fruit. The peppers had thrown me off, but they would be useful in the cold region we were in. Even if we didn’t use them for dinner, it was a good idea to keep them on hand.

After collecting all the berries I could find, I continued on. I knew that peppers grew better in more open areas and that there were cliffsides near the area I was in, Hopefully there were some peppers there. I forced myself to walk faster, I was losing daylight and I was supposed to meet Link back at the campsite by nightfall.

Shaking my head, I tried to get Link out of my head. He was only going to be a distraction. Plus, I was upset with him. Well, maybe frustrated was a better word. Frustrated actually explained a lot of how I was feeling lately.

I hadn’t let Link know, but after our almost run in with the Yiga earlier today, my sense of helplessness had only grown. He could sense the smallest sign of danger and had once again had to escort me to safety. Meanwhile I had been oblivious to it until I heard the faint laugh of the Yiga member. Even then, the only instinct I had was to hide my face in Link’s shoulder while my fear frightened me in place. Truthfully I was thankful Link was there and had the skills to detect such danger.

However, it had since dawned on me that my education as the royal daughter had done little to prepare me to live in the world that existed now. Of course, no one could have predicted what would happen. But out here in the wild, there was no use for arithmetic, or table manners, or citing the favourite literature among the nobility. Life here was driven by work done with labour and skilled hands. The civilians that still lived across Hyrule all knew how to collect and make the supplies they needed.

But I knew nothing. I didn’t know how to find more substantial resources, create shelter, make my own clothes, or defend myself. This is what I had been trying to tell Link for a few days now. But each time I brought it up, he brushed it off. Saying that he knew all of those skills and therefore I didn’t need to. Which is why I was frustrated with him.

But he had already promised to teach me how to forage for food and cook. That was a start, at least. And while Link was healing well from his fall, he still wasn’t well enough to do all the work by himself. Though if someone asked him if he was, he would say yes with an annoying amount of confidence.

I set another foot down, attempting to be lighter. I held my breath as my boot sunk in the snow, waiting for the sound of the crunch. But this time my footstep was silent. A small victory, but I let myself have it.

Shifting my foot to take another step, I brought my hand to grab the bow slung around my chest. I smiled as I remembered how excited I was to wear it like Link did. It was an extra great eagle bow that Link had in his pack. He had made a joke that it was weak enough that if I accidentally shot him, it wouldn’t hurt that badly. Rolling my eyes and threatening to take him up on that offer, I had taken the bow gratefully. It had also been another tiny win in my favor. Maybe my frustrations were unwarranted.

My face grew red as I also remembered that Link had offered to show me how to use it. For some reason I accepted his offer, even though I had been taught archery before the calamity. Archery was one of the few useful skills I had been instructed in growing up, although back then I didn’t care for it much. Also, I was a terrible shot.

I felt my hands shake as I remembered using another bow. The bow of light. The sacred bow of light had been given to me by the Goddess before I went to fight Ganon. The bow had somehow felt familiar as I gripped it for the first time. I had not had time to practice using it and I didn’t need to. I had used it countless times before, in other life times. Heading to the castle, I was armed only with the bow and my sealing power to face my enemy alone.

I shuddered at the memory and I gripped the great eagle bow tighter. There were no sacred ties or unfair duties with this bow. I could use this one and just be another girl hunting. The quiver Link had given me only had a few arrows in it, but I could target practice if I wanted to. Weighing the idea in my mind, I turned my head toward the horizon. I sighed as I realized the sun was starting to sink, which meant that I needed to hurry. There would not be enough time to practice and collect what I needed to.

Luckily the cliffs weren’t too far away, but the sun had beat me. It was now dark, the stars and moon finally showing themselves. I used the light of the moon to scan the cleared area by the cliffs, my eyes taking a moment to adjust to the dark. I finally found a few peppers growing at the far end of the area and began pulling them off their vines. I smiled and felt my mood lighten a bit, proud of myself for finding them. Even if I was late to the task. Just as soon as I was done, I heard footsteps coming from around the corner.

I turned in alarm, but relaxed as I saw Link come into view. Puffs of hot air followed him as he slowed his run to a walk.

“Zelda! There you are.” He smiled, and continued to walk over to me. His face was changing from a frown to relief, as if he had been worried about me. I felt anger prickle at my hands, why couldn’t I have made it back in time instead of causing Link to worry? There went my better mood.

“Do you not trust me? I am fine. I was about to head back to the stable.” I said, letting my annoyance show. A look of confusion spread over Link’s face, his mouth tried to form words in response.

“No! I mean yes I trust you I just-” He started. But his initial response of “no” set me off.

“You must really think I’m that helpless. Maybe you’re right. You gave me an easy task and I couldn’t even complete it before nightfall.” I said, walking back towards Link. I felt my voice start to get louder, frustration taking over. “And I couldn’t even be a few minutes late without you having to run around to find me. Maybe this is hopeless and I should just-”

“Zelda!” Link cut me off. “Zelda, hold on. None of that is true.” He said, his brows furrowing in concern.

“Well then why did you come running all the way over here? Like I am just some child you lost sight of.” I huffed. Why was I getting so mad at him? It was misdirected anger, I was more upset with myself for losing track of time today. I was about to continue when Link grabbed my wrists, bringing me closer to him and closing the rest of the distance between us.

He rolled his eyes at me, but rubbed his thumbs once over the top of my hands. Warmth flowed through them instantly, and my heart pounded. “I came over here to show you something. And I was running because I didn’t want you to miss it. Now stop being so stubborn and look up.” He said, sliding one arm around my waist when I tried to pull away before he finished his sentence. But then I stopped and followed his instructions.

A gasp escaped my mouth as I glanced up. The sky was lit up in streams of green and bright pink light. The light snaked across the sky, playfully shifting down toward the ground almost as if it were teasing the tops of the mountains. Aurora borealis, I thought. One of my tutors had told me about the lights in the sky, but I never had been able to see them for myself. They weren’t viewable from the castle. I must have been so caught up in my search that I didn’t notice the show the night sky was putting on.

I felt my arms relax and I let my hand fall to land on the top of Link’s arm which was still around my waist, but Link held my other hand in place to lay flat on his chest. I thanked Hylia for the cold air, giving an excuse for the redness creeping across my face. I gave his arm a soft squeeze, letting him know I saw what he wanted me to look at. But I kept my gaze on the lights. They were beautiful, like dancers waltzing across the night sky. Sometimes the green and pink hues shifted to purple or blue, but they were breathtaking regardless of what color they chose to be.

I finally forced my gaze away from them, back to Link. He had been watching them too, but looked back down at me when he saw my head shift. For a second I just let myself stare back into his eyes, and he searched my face as always. What was he searching for this time? Did he only see his sovereign and friend starting back at him, or did he see something more? At night, did he dream of my eyes too?

I suddenly became all too aware of how close we were. Link’s arms around me, my hands on top of his. Our bodies more or less pressed against each other. Of course he had held me like this because I was trying to push away from him and I would have missed the lights if he hadn’t. But he was lingering, he technically didn’t have to have his arms around me anymore. I technically didn’t have to have my arms touching him. We technically didn’t have to be staring silently at each other for this long, but we were.

I could have died right there and been content. But I didn’t dare let myself to think that this moment meant more. But perhaps it did. I remembered the moment the day before, when we had been escaping the Yiga. Had he been trying to kiss me or did I imagine that?

“I was being stubborn again, wasn’t I?” I finally breathed, forcing my eyes to look somewhere else.

“You were. But you always are.” He laughed. I could feel the vibrations of his laugh from how close we were. I still wasn’t over his laugh. A thing that only the Link from this time did.

“Well you were right, as you always are. That was quite beautiful. I have always wanted to see the lights and I never thought I would. Thank you.” I replied, giving him a smile in return.

The corners of his eyes crinkled as his smile grew wider. He let go of his hold on me, taking a step back. My hands fell back to my side and I felt the loss of warmth immediately. But he still stared back at me, his blue eyes almost glowing in the moonlight.

“Er, do you want to practice with the bow before we head back?” Link asked. His cheeks were red, probably from the cold. But a little part of me thought maybe he was blushing.

I nodded and turned to follow him.

As we walked to find a good area to practice, I replayed the past fews days back in my head. Starting from when Link woke me up with his prank, the compliment he gave me on the stairs back in Rito Village, then when evaded danger before I even knew anything was wrong. The redness on my face deepened when I remembered being pulled into his lap as we outran the Yiga on horseback. His instincts and strength were impressive, to say the least.

And just now, standing under the lights while being more or less in his arms.

All of these were innocent moments, really. But I knew I would replay them in my head for a long time. The image of his blue eyes staring back into mine would surely keep me up tonight.

And it was then an odd thought occurred to me. Blue was my favorite color.

“Is here okay?” Link spoke up, bringing me back from my thoughts. He was giving me a smug look, and only then did I realize he had led us to the flight range.

I was surprised to see the range after so long, but pleased to see that it hadn’t changed much in over a century. I sighed woefully as I remembered the countless times Revali showed off his skills here. Taking off on an upwind with his wings spread wide and shooting all the targets in a blink of an eye. Taking a deep breath, I hoped I would make him proud with the amateur archery skills I possessed.

“Yes. I believe this will work.” I answered, pulling the bow over my head and reaching for an arrow. I looked over at Link and he stepped back with a nod, giving me space to practice.

Suddenly I felt very nervous to practice in front of Link, and I now regretted not taking the time to shoot a couple of arrows earlier when I was alone. I fumbled with the arrow. The bow of light had been so easy to use. Almost like the bow had done the work for me, or maybe the adrenaline I had back then had made it easier to use.

Link stood back and motioned for me to continue. With the arrow finally nocked, I raised the bow with my arms shaking. I had seen Link jump in the air and shoot an arrow in one swift motion, with little effort. He must have been humored by my struggle, I couldn’t bear to look to see if he was. Pulling my right arm back, I aimed for the closest target in front of me. I could tell before I released it the arrow that it would miss, my shaky arms making it a clumsy shot.

The arrow in fact missed the target, whizzing past it to land in the snow. Still, I was encouraged by the speed of the arrow. I just needed to get better at my aim.

“That was good.” Link said, suddenly appearing next to me. “Here, nock another bow. If you straighten your arms more you’ll make your mark.”

He stood behind me as I pulled another bow out of the quiver and nocked it. He reached up and put his right arm on my right elbow, raising it so my arm was perfectly horizontal. His left arm lightly touched my waist, straightening my posture.

“When you draw the bow back, one finger should be above the arrow with two fingers supporting it from underneath. And you want your right hand to be right next to your mouth. Go ahead and try.” He whispered by my ear, and he stood back.

I drew the bow back, making sure my hand was even with my mouth and arms were level. I released the arrow, sighing as the arrow missed the target again. But it was closer, barely missing.

I continued practicing, with Link stepping in to give pointers. Every once in a while nudging my waist or correcting my arm form with a light touch. Everytime, my breath caught in my throat when I felt his hands on me. In truth, he was distracting me more than he was helping me.

But I didn’t stop him from doing it, even though I felt a little guilty not telling him that I had been educated in archery. But between me being out of practice and Link making me nervous, I was fumbling like a true inexperienced archer.

Finally, I shot three arrows into the target. While they were nowhere close to the bullseye I was still ecstatic with my progress. I felt myself smile wide after each one and with Link would give me a thumbs up in approval. His face beaming at me after I made the third one, I raised my arms in the air in a cheer. Link walked over pulling me into a big hug and swung me around in a circle. I laughed as he spun me, throwing my head back and feeling the wind whip my hair around.

I stumbled as he sat me back down, feeling joy fill my heart and spread through my limbs.

“I have a confession.” I said, laughing still. Link looked at me, his eyebrows raised with a smile still on his face. “Well I, uh, was taught archery back then. Obviously I’m rusty and I appreciated the pointers. But just thought I should tell you.” I looked down at my shoes, slightly embarrassed about my confession.

“So you just let me teach you something you already knew, like a moron?” Link asked, his voice playful. When I looked up at him I could tell he had tried to look angry, but he was awful at hiding the smile he wore.

I nodded and shrugged, glad he wasn’t actually upset.

“Shame on you, Princess. Shame on you.” He chuckled, shaking his head.

“I apologize! And your tips were still quite useful, thank you. They will certainly help me in my practice.” I slung the bow back over my head.

“Good. I guess that makes me feel better.” He stated, shifting his feet a little in the snow. “I’m not really ready to go back yet. Do you want to go find somewhere to sit? We can watch the lights some more.”

I stared at him, gasping in disbelief. “I never thought I would see the day that you would push off dinner. I thought you would be starving by now.”

He put a hand to his stomach and laughed. “Oh, I am. But it’s such a beautiful night, we might as well enjoy it. Unless you are ready for dinner?” He asked.

It was late already, it had been a few hours since the sun had set. But I wasn’t really hungry yet. “No, I can wait. Let’s go.” I answered, motioning for him to lead.

But Link took me by surprise, by tucking his arm in mine and giving me a smile before leading us away from the range. My skin tingled where he made contact, and I silently sighed in my mind.

I wished I had the courage to ask him about his feelings. Did he do everything for me out of duty? Out of friendship? Out of something more? These thoughts had kept me up at night recently. I often came to the conclusion that I was okay with the way things were. Having Link around and allowing our friendship to continue to grow was enough.

Honestly, most days it was enough. But moments like this, when he would do something out of his usual behavior that I felt the need to know what was actually going through his mind. Our conversation this morning only caused me to wonder more.

 However, Link’s memory was still fragile. I wanted to give him space and time to heal. Putting strain on our friendship, the one thing that was a constant for him, would certainly not be the best thing for him.

Link led us back to the clearing on the cliff. He let go of my arm to clear snow off of two rocks that were at the edge of the clearing, then motioned for me to sit next to him.

“Thank you.’ I said, sitting down. I left a small space between us on the rock. Looking up at the sky, I could still see the lights. They were fainter now, but they still danced across the sky.

“How is your shoulder doing?” I asked him. It had been a few days since his fall, and while he certainly was healing faster than a normal Hylian, I was worried he was hiding his pain.

“Oh, it’s a little sore and stiff. I should probably be stretching it more than I am. But it is feeling a lot better.” He replied while shifting his shoulder a few times for emphasis.

“I’m glad to hear it. You really had me worried there. And your head? How does it feel?” I picked at a loose thread on my pants while I waited for his answer.

“Good as well. It hasn’t really hurt since the first day I woke up. A little tender if I touch it I suppose. My ribs are still sore, if that is your next question.” He said, nudging my shoulder with his.

I nudged him back. “Yes it was. Well, like I said. I am glad you are getting better. A shame that you are such a clumsy hero though.” I teased.

His head turned to look at me, rolling his eyes again. “Hmm. I don’t think you want to talk to me about being clumsy.” He chuckled, his shoulders shaking as he did so. But then he got a serious look on his face. “I am sorry about that though, Zelda. I really am. I honestly should have been more careful. Never would I have ever wanted to cause you such distress.”

I looked back up at him and I could see the sincerity in his eyes. “I know. There is no need to apologize though.” I answered, feeling my brows scrunch on my face.

Link leaned down a bit closer. “Well, there is. And I also need to say thank you. For what you did, even if I was mad about it. You saved me, Zelda.”

Oh he was close, way too close to my face. I wanted to lean in closer, it would have been so easy to close the distance between us. And he was looking at me again like he did yesterday.

But there were things we needed to talk about. And I suddenly felt a little brave, I decided it was time to ask him a few of the questions that had been haunting me for weeks now.

“It’s what we do for each other.” I said, looking away. “Speaking of that. I hope you don’t mind me asking, but there have been a few things I have wanted to ask you for awhile now.”

Link tilted his head, waiting for me to continue.

“What do…” I stopped. I wasn’t sure where to begin. “Do you remember the first time we traveled to Rito Village together? Before the Calamity?” I asked. I decided to start small and ask him about a few specific memories.

He sighed, though I wasn’t sure if it was out of surprise or frustration. “Can you tell me a little more about it?” He asked.

“Oh yes, of course.” I said, pausing to think about which details of the trip to describe. “Well, we had traveled from the castle to Rito Village to get an update from Revali on how he was managing to pilot Vah Medoh. Along the way, we ran into some ice lizalfos on the way, but you took care of them. Later, we had dinner with Kaneli, Revali, and some others. Nothing important happened on the excursion, I just chose a random moment to ask you about.” I answered, fiddling with the loose thread again.

Link’s face scrunched up in thought, his eyes moving back and forth as he combed through his memories. Then his face fell and he hung his head. “No, I’m sorry I don’t think I do.”

“It’s okay, Link. Like I said, it’s not an important memory. May I ask another question though?” I shot a side glance at him and saw him nod.

“Do you remember obtaining the Master Sword the first time?”

“No.” He answered quickly. “I have tried to remember that. But I haven’t been able to.” He said, his voice quiet.

I sighed apologetically. “Oh. I’m sorry for bringing it up, Link. I won’t ask about it anymore.” I was worried I had pushed him too far before he was ready.

“No, it’s fine. Maybe asking questions will help remind me of something.” He said, lifting his head to look at me.

I thought about something else to ask him, and there were so many things I could have. But I decided to go a different route. “Yesterday you said you wandered Hyrule with no memory. Is that true? Do you remember anything about your life before becoming a knight?”

This caused Link to lean forward into his hands, sighing into his palms. He stayed like that for a minute, not moving. Then he pushed his hair out of his face and sat up. He glanced over at me and cleared his throat. “I don’t remember my life before being assigned your knight. Honestly, I don’t remember much, at all. Most of my memories are tied to the pictures in the slate.” He finally answered.

I closed my eyes, I had figured as much. But it was still devastating for him to admit it. I wrung my hands together, attempting to come up with something appropriate to say. But what do you say to something like that?

“So everything you did after you woke up, training to defeat Ganon, freeing the Divine Beasts, saving me.... You did all of that without remembering who you were?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yours was the first voice I heard and you helped me when I didn’t even know my name. I was told by everyone else what my destiny was and what to do. That was enough until I started to reclaim some of my memory. Then bit by bit, I started to remember you and the champions. I didn’t remember everything, and I still don’t, but I knew I missed you and the others. I knew I wanted to save you and see you again.”

He paused, and turned his face toward the sky. I didn’t think he was going to speak again, but he did.

“Seeing you safe, healthy, and smiling. That’s been enough for me. More than enough. Even if I don’t remember, I know I did the right thing.” A small smile found itself on his face as he looked back at me.

I smiled back, feeling my heart pound in my chest as I met his blue eyes again. What he said made some of his behavior make more sense. He was still the old Link in the way that he was always striving to do good and how devoted he was to his duty. But he had also changed, he was taller, goofier, and talked more. The weight he felt of being the one who wielded the sword that sealed the darkness now gone as our destiny was  behind us.

“Is that what you wanted to tell me earlier?” I asked him.

“Oh that? No. I’m still not ready for that.” He said, his eyes leaving mine for the ground.

“That’s okay. I can respect that.”

We sat in silence for a while as the weight of our conversation set in. I was happy we had made some progress, he hadn’t allowed me to talk about his memory before. But we were the only people who knew what the other person had gone through and it was time we began to heal. Together.

“I’m kind of hungry now, should we head back to the campsite?” I asked, standing up and offering my hand out toward him. He looked at my hand for a second before smiling and taking it.

And while I thought he would let it go after a moment, he didn’t. So, we walked hand in hand back to the campsite, with my hungry knight leading the way.

 ------------------

 I was already awake before the first morning rays of sunshine, as the issues of last night did not allow me to rest in my sleep. I lay on my back in my sleeping bag and put my hands under my head. I looked up at the clear starry sky, which slowly gave way to the light of the sun.

"Zelda." I whispered.

No reply. Just a soft breathing.

"Zelda." I repeated, a little louder this time.

"Mmhm...?" she murmured sleepily.

"Wake up please, I have something to tell you that you should know."

I felt Zelda slowly wake up beside me, but I couldn't look her in the face. Even though I loved watching her sleep and wake up, my heart was too heavy.

"I'm awake now, what's the matter Link?"

"Remember Kass the poet? He was the Sheikah Court Poet's student."

Beside me, I heard Zelda draw in a sharp breath. In my mind's eye, I knew her big green eyes were wide and her mouth was half open. Still, I was unable to look at her.

She waited patiently for me to continue speaking.

"On my journey I met Kass very often, he sang me ballads of ancient times and helped me with the song lyrics to solve problems in the respective region. But his main task was to complete his master's song. It was a tragic ballad about both of us, but it was mainly about you, to help me recover my memory. Eventually, I managed to help Kass collect ancient songs all over Hyrule, so he managed to complete the ballad."

I exhaled heavily as thoughts about the verses kept circling in my head without finding an answer.  

"Link, you seem so tense... Is there something wrong with the ballad of Sakasai?"

an old, long-forgotten memory suddenly burst into my mind. A memory of Zelda and Sakasai standing close together, whispering and laughing, while Zelda had not even glanced at me. I was Zelda's appointed knight and yet she didn't want me around and always rejected me.

I swallowed hard.

"Kass told me that his master often told him how beautiful you had been - and still are. Kass said he would like to compose a song to match your beauty and wished to meet you one day."

When Zelda still didn't say anything after a while, I finally turned my head towards her. My gaze met her brimming eyes, waiting for the truth.

"Link, that can't be all that's bothering you - please tell me. What is it that you can't tell me?"

"I... I... just can't tell you it, Zelda. Please accept it. For now."

Zelda frowned but nodded silently.

“About that song Kass wanted to write about me, I hope he is somewhere nearby! I am eager to hear, what he would sing about me, and how his music would sound. Please Link, please let me meet him!”

I looked at the beautiful face next to me, stared at her, without saying a word. I brushed a golden stray of her hair behind her ear and smiled.

“Of course, I will do that, why wouldn’t I want to let my princess become a song sung for future generations?”

She giggled and cuddled onto my arm, falling in a light sleep again, while I watched over her, as I did back then, now, and forever.

Zelda and Link watching the Aurora Borealis - commissioned from @/rutisfree on twitter for our romantic scene ♥️

[radbutsafe]

ALL FUCKIN 35 OF THEM SKLNWESDJFPXO

I SHOULDVE EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

A three! I think I’m mid range cause I ain’t terrible but there is still shit I gotta improve and grow in my writing

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

to manifest what canon won’t give me and to write more! (though yes it is mainly about the smooching and the— I’ll stop there LOL)

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Hm! My weird research details? I’m that “fun fact, did you know...” in my fics sometimes LOL! I plan on giving a penthouse for erina in a fic and I went through penthouse listings in Japan for floor layouts and locations💀 my research gives me inspo and depth to stuff I think I lack in comparison to others sometimes.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

In terms of fellow fic writers, one of them I can’t name here but she’s an inspiration with her exceptional gift for prose period and her lovely skill at comedy! I want to be as funny as her when I write, I love her ironic situational humor. Other fic writers are @takoyakitenchou, @royaldragonsevgisi15 who I always love sharing ideas with and motivate me to create more! For non-fic writers it would be V.E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, Oda, and Horikoshi! The last two may be mangaka, however they are writers as well to create their stories! The depth these creators have given their worlds and interesting characters theyve given life to are all what I aspire to be like!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

so far uh?? hm everything I’m currently writing are wips lol!! im proud of my wip that has been nicknamed ‘soma panics’ that is a multi-chapter fic that spans like probs 20 plus chapters maybe

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

dialogue! it’s so much fun! and character thoughts. I’ve said to people I may be better suited for script writing

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I think it’s description, of like setting and showing action. also an expansion of my vocabulary LOL

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

erina! I think it’s because canon has shown us many of her different faces and range of emotion.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

SOMA!! chill ass mofo whos more carefree compared to the common shonen protagonist! for other shokugeki characters I’m not sure just yet because I haven’t flexed my fingers enough for the rest of them.

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

I guess I should say romance cause that’s what I mostly write LOL!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

sorina and I try to get them to smooch eventually KEK and yeah it’s..usually romantic fluff lmao

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

HONESTLY ALL OF THEM but “soma panics” is my brain child

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

pretty sure it’s digimon....

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

currently shokugeki no soma!!!!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

uhhhh I guess SNS? LMAO fandoms...all have their quirks to them.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

characters cuddling!!!! or getting the urge to smooch!!!!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

unrequited love GOOD FUCKIN BYEEEEEE

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I have plot ideas thst can be wild potentially but so far nothing fits this criteria so far that I actually have written.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

depends on the fandom, but if written well, all of it!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

shippy 100% like I said I like smoochin

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

romantic is...*drumroll* SORINA! platonic, soutaku and erina and alice!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! There are times songs will be on loop and times I just shuffle a playlist. and if I’m writing in random bursts it’ll be with no music but it really does depend lmao I think music is when I’m forcing myself to write?

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

completely independent ideas, I’ve realized in the past prompts shoot me in the foot often unless I luckily figure something out. but I’m often driven by my own sporadic self interest with shitty ping ponging attention

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

multi-chap I guess cause I can post without being finished LOLLL but tbh can I really answer? I haven’t finished anything.....

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

I can’t answer this question imo because I haven’t finished a fic yet so technically stuff could all fit in the one fic?

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

MYSTERY AND CRIME! I love the genre and I have plot ideas once a blue moon but I can’t dive in because I want to make details that work and reduce plot holes where suspension of disbelief isn’t as needed. I need to study it more (I need to study all the details for any of my fics imo to be confident sometimes LOL)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I don’t think I can say one comment was the nicest because I’ve gotten comments that have given me quite the smiles to my face many times! I know this is a cop out but it’s true!

IS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY UNTIL REINA SENT ME THE FOLLOWING ON DISCORD LIKE TWENTY MINS AGO:

and also rad. i am never this vocal about my emotions like EVER but this needs to be said your fics are obviously far from perfect, as are mine and everyone else's. but the thing about your works is that they're so well-sanded that it's impossible to find any rough edges or faults in them in terms of cohesion to a plot. your cast is never OOC and the amount of effort you devote to developing your takes on the characters as accurately as possible is unimaginably awe-inspiring.

BITCH I WANNA CRY 😭

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

I’d like to believe I take it often well to try and improve because that’s always my goal. if someone is rude lol that’s not constructive snd is unhelpful. If I disagree with criticism I’ll explain why !

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Not yet, but I have some plot ideas I think will let me test this.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

F L U F F.

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

elliott fuji, a japanese-american award winning photographer who is erina’s boyfriend in ‘soma panics’ which..causes soma’s panic LOL he’s 30 with slightly wavy black hair. I still haven’t pinpointed his personality just yet...he kind of humble brags for sure an artsy fucker and flirts maybe I’ll make him a lil shy though. he teaches sometimes, and becomes an adjunct photography professor in Tokyo so he can be with erina.

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

a cook is unfashionably late in realizing his feelings.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I am a slow. so slow. motivation who is she? I also write out of order, unfortunately a bit too often.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

this should be for the fic ‘soma panics’ it’s either megumi or satoshi talkin to him rn, I’m leaning towards satoshi

“You thought she would always wait for you, didn’t you Soma-kun? To always welcome you home.”

Soma drags his palms down his face and groans. He doesn’t like this at all. He doesn’t shy from confrontation but this is a whole different ballgame. Soma doesn’t play any ball.

“I guess..?” Is his reply, because he thinks he isn’t sure how to answer that.

“You guess?”

Just being questioned again is enough to crack Soma’s pathetic facade as if it was dropped chinaware and he lets out the longest sigh.

“No.”

Coming home means coming home to Nakiri Erina too.

Nakiri Erina is his forever.

this is @takoyakitenchou’s excerpt she’s most proud of that I’ve written, which is also from you guessed it, the long fic soma panics

SOMA: I am, I mean I will be, I swear I will always come home to you, not spend as much time abroad, once I’m done with work I’ll come right back. I’ll make sure to message you. Nakiri, I’m in love you with you. Maybe for a really long time. You know how I say I dedicate my food to you? My dad—my dad said that the key to become a good chef is to find someone to dedicate your cooking to. A special someone. For my dad it was my mom, you know? For me it’s...

(this is a good piece of dialogue tbh so I am also proud of this)

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I’ve mentioned it throughout this but the WIP I’ve nicknamed ‘soma panics’ is something I’m super excited to write, but it’s going on slowly...and almost completely out of order. out of all of my writing it showed off that particular habit of mine, along with “what is this, a shoujo manga?!” though the latter is currently being written chronologically now that I’ve posted chapter one and is pretty solid in direction. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but I got impatient and wanted to post at least something for the sorina / soueri fandom.

however, because ‘soma panics’ (I won’t call it that LOL) is my baby I want to keep true to my rule of refusing to post it until I have a draft of the entire fic finished and I’m satisfied with the main points pretty much. due to my writing out of order, I’m worried I’ll change my mind about scenes or want to reflect things in earlier chapters for later ones etc etc

I joined the SnS fandom extremely late, as season five was airing. I was a fan of the manga five years ago and dropped it because I forgot to check for updates when I caught up 😔 I really want to bang out the different fics and aus for sorina that I have before the fandom fizzles out entirely but tbh I’m writing for myself, I’m manifesting what I want to see and I’ll just share it with all my friends to read if no one else will. cause I’m slow broski I dunno what writing fast even is like LMAO I do really want to write faster though, so I can contribute more and let the words free from the discord dms....

[thejosh1980]

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes...

We've sure had a few changes here at The Ocean Shores Resort. It's been a full on month since I last wrote... Through the good, the bad, and the ugly, we've been keeping positive, enjoying the cooler days. Damn summer is hot and long here!!!

The past few months have all been about learning to deal with life's unexpected roadblocks and detours.

There's a lot to tell, but I think the main thing is, at least for me, that I've been a student for the first time the late 1990's. I've spent the past 4 weeks in class, learning, studying, researching, getting to know my classmates and finding all of it challenging, stimulating and exciting.

Studying counseling has been surprisingly awesome for my mental health too. I mean, I have had some really challenging days, especially when it comes to some of the assessments. The first one, well I just about quit the course over it. I really was at my wit's end. An assessment, I suspect, that was created by some office nut job in a government position, who never taught a day in his life and thinks his open ambiguous questions are making it easier for us to answer. I think the whole class suffered sleepless nights that week!! Terrible, but I chipped away at it, persevered and managed to finish it a few days early. Not only that, I learnt a lot about myself and the situation at hand, as you know I'm all about the process.

I learnt that I have to work slowly and meaningfully at these assessments. I can't expect to finish it in one sitting or even in one weekend. Just starting and having a go, finding the easier parts to get done first, using different resources (I love how I can spend the day watching youtube videos and count that as research) and making sure I take time to focus on me with a little bit of self care.

Alex has been super great too, as I delve into this mysterious world of study and being a student. She listens to me talk about the counseling theory of the day, the one we just did in class and how great it is because I can already apply it to friends, family or, more importantly, myself, only to hear me talk about the next theory the next day, like it's gods gift to therapy. She proof reads all my work, debates theories, offers very good suggestions (not only is she super self aware, but she's studied psychology) and somehow, I don't know how she does it, but she knows when I need a break and encourages me to take it. Otherwise I would be at the books day and night.

I've also learnt a lot in class about myself. Part of that comes from comparing my experiences, beliefs and knowledge with my classmates. They are all really great people from a wide variety of backgrounds. But some, push my buttons ever so gently, and I love it. I love the challenge of figuring out why I react to that person that way. What is it I'm feeling and why?

I am thankful this is not an online course!

I've gotten to know some classmates fairly well, and I am surprised at how they openly offer words of appreciation and support. Like “your voice is really calming” and “your vulnerability and openness is a breath of fresh air”. I always thought my voice sounded pretty crap! (Yes I know I sing, but that still doesn't mean I like the sound of my own voice). Also, I never thought I was actually being vulnerable, I always thought that I was just sharing stuff, my stuff, in the hope we can understand each other better. I may have to stop that now....

Nahhhh, just kidding...

The course is something that is right for me, right now. I don't think my mental state would have been ready 2 to 5 years ago, let alone 10 or even 20 years ago!!

Besides the 2 afternoons being ruined by frustration, anger and hopelessness, due to the above mentioned assessment from hell, it's been a good 4 weeks into the year long course. I look forward to each day in class... I even go to the college on my off days to work in the library instead of working from home. I just get more done, even though Mijo misses my lap!

I don't know where the course will take me, I haven't even thought of what job I want to do once I'm a qualified counselor. I hope that during my time as a student, the course will guide me in the direction best suited for me. Learn my weaknesses, follow my strengths and work with both. It's all too overwhelming to think too far ahead. See, I'm learning...

Right here and now... That's all that matters....

During my first week at college, Alex changed jobs. Arriving in Australia and diving head first into real estate sales 1 hour away from home was a real high jump to begin with! The pressure of the job, not to mention the 2 hours a day traveling time, the weekend work and the small size of the business with undefined job roles made it tough! Real tough!

Alex decided to side step into an admin position in a bigger real estate company closer to home with defined job roles, massive support and a very positive outlook. She basically took up her role she had in New York. She's lovin' it! I am too. She's home each night at the same time, doesn't bring much work home with her, other than stories of her awesome day, which I love to hear. Additionally she now has her weekends free to explore and relax too.

She also found a psychiatrist who confirmed her ADHD diagnosis. Alex was originally diagnosed in her early 20's after her turbulent teenage years. She had therapy and medication back then but after a huge burn out in the US, she came back to Germany and let it all lapse. It has been a real struggle for her to cope, and at times, I'll be honest, it has put strain on our marriage. Well, 1 day after her first doc appointment and her meds had kicked in, she's become a new woman. It's been great to get to know this side of her. While things are not 100% perfect, I now have a wife who looks forward to getting up and attacking the day with gusto.

Mum's had a hard run lately too... We all know that I came back to help support her as her eye sight slowly deteriorates. I've been here to read every label, drive her to every appointment and help her work the wonderful world of her laptop, printer and Windows. Alex has been alongside us for the ride too. There's been a few recent health issues that have cropped up. I can't go into detail, but it's fair to say, I can see it was the right time to come home and be here to support Mum.

Mum is strong willed, strong minded and independent, and little of that will change while she can fight against all the odds throwin' at her. It's been a tough couple of weeks, and mum's kept focused on the bigger picture, her health, it's been inspiring.

Mijo has been through the wars.

The little deaf cat recently celebrated his 6 month birthday, but the poor fella has something seriously going on with his health which means we are delaying any big celebrations until his 1st birthday... Besides ringworm (it's not actually a worm, it's a fungal infection), a tooth that won't grow down (it grows directly forward and needs to be surgically removed), no appetite and losing weight, he's doing fine! The poor lethargic fella sleeps all day, which is kind of normal, except I can't remember the last time he had the energy to chase a toy or even run.

I haven't been taking him out much, he needs rest. We did explore the beaches, rivers and parks nearby together, I hope that in a few months I can pick up where we left off. For now he needs rest, calmness and another trip or two the vet.

Through all these ups and downs, we're all actually quite good.

My deep hole from February/March is just a blimp on the computer screen of my life. Studying has raised a few challenges but I am working my way through them, determined to kick that courses ass and learn, learn, learn... One day I hope I can help others through similar struggles as my own.

Alex's struggles with ADHD are progressing in the right direction now and her new job sure was the right call. Mum is showing the world she can take on whatever is thrown at her, and then some.

Alex and I keep going from strength to strength. I'm blessed with her support, respect and love. One classmates already calls her “the awesome wife”, and they've never met!! I guess when I talk about my wife, I reek of pride and love, as it should be.

Thanks for reading,

The Josh

[hanaasbananas]

Fanfic Year in Review 2020

thanks for the tag @2manyfandoms2count! This took me a while to get to but here we are!

Ok I feel like this is just gonna end up being a post where I just gush about Phantoms in the Dark but like...c'mon

This is gonna get long so i've put it under the cut:

1) List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished:

Most of my stories are one shots of varying lengths, but I did actually finish quite a few so we have:

A Chance Encounter and So it Goes- both zenmaster fics for That 70s Show

Touch the Rain: I honestly forget I wrote this last year, it feels like I wrote it years ago but it's just a standard identity reveal in the heat of an argument type thing.

Ladybug Luck? What's That? The fic that really started my spiral into writing for the ML fandom, and the birth of the Bollywood Playlist series.

Post reveal, where they didn't know each other irl, Marinette sees Adrien at a Gabriel party, realises who he is, and does some property damage in the process.

our eyes speak (but on our lips is silence) At a wedding where Adrien is best man and Marinette is a guest they immediately recognise the other as their partner. Pure fluff and giddiness ensue

The Seduction of Marinette Dupain-Cheng Post reveal-Chat bets Ladybug that he can woo her as a civilian, employing good old fashioned tactics like flowers and poetry

Pink Snapshots of an Adrinette relationship. I just wanted to see if I could write an entire fic with no dialogue whatsoever, and this one got a huge surge in popularity recently so...guess I can!

Exposed Another fic where they don't know each other as civilians. When their identities are revealed in the worst possible way, Ladybug and Chat Noir hide out in a hotel room as they try to process the situation.

This Red Love My first enemies au! In which Adrien joins Hawkmoth from the beginning, but still goes to school and ends up dating Marinette. When he realises who she is, he has to re-examine everything he thought he ever wanted.

i have found someone (like a nomad finds a home) In the last one, Adrien willingly sided with Gabriel, but in this one, he is forced to after Stoneheart. Years later, he meets Marinette, who makes him feel like he isn't a monster.

Memory Chat Blanc in the aftermath when there is nothing left.

Phantoms in the Dark My biggest accomplishment last year! And the longest story I've ever written at 30k words. A historical marichat story based off my favourite poem The Highwayman by Alfred Noyes. I'm currently working on the sequel.

I only bow down to worship (but I come to a stop when I see you) In which Adrien knows Marinette is Ladybug, and she knows he knows. However, he hasn't told her he's Chat Noir. This is just cute relationship stuff in the same vein as Pink

Collect your Courage, Loyalty, I'll never be the thief (to bring in hot scattered hell) Thought I'd branch out to other fandoms and landed on ATLA. This is a series (eventual zutara) where Zuko realises almost immediately post banishment that he can't follow in his father's footsteps and rebels.

Dancing Lessons Chat Noir and Ladybug decided to reveal their identities at age 20, and now Chat has chosen the venue as well. The only problem is he needs to teach Ladybug how to dance first.

Wish Ok I hurt a lot of people with this one but it's one where in the final fight, Adrien is mortally wounded and Marinette uses the miraculous to save his life, forfeiting her life in the process.Flashes back and forth between her death and how Adrien is coping in the aftermath.

2) Number of words written: 79663. I actually wanted to hit 100k by the end of the year but as those in the guild know, I spent most of December doing kitchen renovations and being pissed about my lack of free time lmao

3) Your most popular fic: Phantoms in the Dark. it has yet to surpass my all time most popular fic it's all a game of chance (they say in wonderland), but it's catching up

4) Your personal fav: Dancing Lessons I wrote this way back in July last year but only posted it in December and I just, it's so sweet I really like it with the flirty banter and just the two of them being SO CUTE

5) Your fav scene: The scene at the end of ch6 of Phantoms where Marinette and Chat talk after their kiss and realise they both are very much into each other.

6) A fic or scene that challenged you:

I am really bad at action sequences, and even though in Phantoms Adrien was out fighting people on the regular, I just sort of...glossed over them. Except for in chapter 8, where I wrote a proper duel between Chat and someone he was robbing.

What I struggled with was describing the movements, not wanting to make it too complicated whilst not having it be 'he feinted and stabbed' or something really simplistic. There was a lot of pen acting involved, but I think the end result is quite good, if I do say so myself.

7) A line of writing you’re proud of: From Phantoms (of course)

In every lifetime, in every land, we shall find each other.

8) A comment that touched you:

I love every single comment that I get, but someone left this on my musketeers fic Going Through the Motions (posted as a series on ao3 to motivate me to finish the fic but when it was done I compiled all the parts and posted it on ffnet as a oneshot lol and one of my absolute fave fics I've written-no surprise that it's historical 😅) on ffnet, which was a HUGE compliment:

"I like the way you wove dialogue from the series with your fiction. Your story gives us a more complete picture of Bonacieux and explains why Constance rejected D'Artagnan, which we did not get from the series. Your version is better. Well done!"

9) Something that inspired your writing:

I mean...I have an entire series on ao3 that is just fics inspired by bollywood songs/scenes-and those were my main inspiration for so many things. (I actually realised the other day that a scene from the movie Kalank is what inspired me to write Wonderland lmao)

10) Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

Honestly, just writing consistently! I graduated in 2019 and in the past, I've started and abandoned so many projects and ideas, and even the first fic I posted on ao3-it took me a year to get the second chapter up and then I only finished it because I wanted to post other stuff but didn't feel like I could until I finished that one lol.

So yeah, that, and of course, actually writing and finishing Phantoms instead of abandoning it like so many of my other ambitious projects. I'm really proud of the 30k I wrote for that story because it's the most I've ever written for a single thing

11) Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

I want to finish Forgotten Promises, and the third story in the series. I have the vague plot for that one, and know what's going in the epilogue to end the series but I just need to get there.

Oh! and see 100 ways to say I love you to the end.

This was fun! I tag @theanxiouscupcake @an-elysian-tree @quarantined-fics and anyone else who wants to have a go!

[waveridden]

thoughts on every cw show you've watched (a dark history i think we both share)

lily i wish you could hear the noise i just made when i saw this. god. okay. i’m going in approximate chronological order here. also an important piece of context is my mom did not let us watch ~adult tv~ until approximately 2010 so even though i am theoretically old enough to remember, like, one tree hill, i did not watch it.

also i’m putting this under a cut not out of shame but because it’s stupidly long but i’m putting the one everyone wonders about at the top (coincidentally i think it’s also chronologically first)

supernatural: meant a whole awful lot to me when i was a teen! ruby supernatural is how i figured out i like girls! i think i said this at the time but dean/cas canon (or. “canon”) means a lot to me not because i think it’s Good but because it was 14yo me’s wildest dream and i think sometimes our wildest teenage dreams deserve to come true. it’s a shitshow don’t get me wrong but it’s one that wormed its way into my brain and that in some ways i still care a lot about. i think it did a lot for my love of stories about families and about choice and free will like it was definitely formative and i’m cool with that. there are definitely dumber things that were formative for me

arrow: watched s1 while it was airing and i think i watched 3-4 total seasons on netflix. hot fucking garbage show. i think they had some interesting ideas in the early seasons - i like malcolm merlyn as a villain, i LOVE roy harper in this, thea queen is one of my favorite characters ever, there are lots of little things i could be kind about - but oliver is just such an irredeemable fucking bastard that it made the show unwatchable. also they put a jewish woman in a gas chamber, which is something i think we as a society need to talk about more???? in conclusion laurel lance i miss you

smallville: when i was in high school i bought the first season of smallville on dvd. i watched about half of it and never finished it. i do think it’s a fun concept tho and i like that it got to serve as sort of like... a proto legends of tomorrow situation where they could just throw random comics characters at you

the vampire diaries: bonnie was hot. idk i watched half a season and got bored

the flash: i watched the first... three-ish seasons while it was airing i think? i have a lot of fondness bc the flash is my dad’s favorite superhero and i genuinely think s1 is a lot of fun but man it went downhill huh. cisco ramon and iris west i love you and you deserve to be in a better show. also dc adaptations stop just randomly doing flashpoint challenge

izombie: rahul kohli i think of you every day. ravi/major was good. i remember not actually enjoying the first season but still being excited when s2 started and then like... not watching it. wasn’t arthur from merlin in this???

the 100: DEEP BREATHS. OKAY. the 100 was very important to me for a very long time and in some ways it still is because the first long fic i ever actually outlined and completed was for the 100, and that matters to me even though the show no longer does. however jesus christ what a fall from grace. like they even went from typical cw racist to just batshit levels of all the isms and phobias you could think of. i genuinely don’t understand how clexa is still in the public discourse at ALL like i get that fandom is overwhelmingly white and decided that they could look past the brownface but the violent homophobia isn’t great! also lily i know you know this but Justice For Jasper Jordan. that’s all

also i used to play this game in seasons 6-7 where whenever i saw an episode recap i would read it and it made me feel insane. did you know that in season 7 they went to a different planet? everyone was cryogenically frozen for like thirty years except for monty and harper (who had a DAUGHTER) and they went to a new planet. i’m not making this up. literal insanity. i’m foaming at the mouth as we speak

legends of tomorrow: i have seen season one of legends of tomorrow approximately six times. my url is a legends of tomorrow reference. i actually haven’t watched since s3 tho like i didn’t have cable/netflix for a while there and just... never caught up. it is such a perfectly ridiculous show. “we need to go back in time to make george lucas make movies so our historian is inspired by indiana jones!” “what if elvis’s guitar did necromancy?” stop wasting my time with talking and show me 45 minutes of that. lots of insane shit. nate heywood i think of you every day maisie richardson-sellers please call me

supergirl: i watched the pilot (fine) and the musical episode of the flash (honestly? pretty fun) and feel absolutely no desire to watch any more

riverdale: i watched the first season of riverdale and the reason i stopped watching was not related to the show itself, it’s because the roommate i lived with at the time who watched with me started making aggressive comments about the show being reverse racist and i removed myself from the situation. i really really want to watch it but i think you need someone to do it With you instead of doing it alone and tam keeps SAYING NO WHEN I ASK so idk maybe one day

crazy ex girlfriend: i never actually watched this but my roommate did and sometimes i would watch with her. there was a very smug quality to this show that really annoyed me? idk how to explain it. would not watch the whole thing tbqh. music was alright tho. i have referenced this moment in this song in way too many conversations that did not call for it

black lightning: i watched season one while it was airing and it was REALLY well done. i hope the future seasons were also good. anissa/grace fucking ruled we love a lesbian/bi relationship AND an interracial relationship with zero white people in it

also some bonus content for people who actually made it this far:

i have the wikipedia page for the cw open right now and i’m looking at all the kids shows, so i want to throw out there that 1) sonic x is the first fandom i remember being in 2) i watched a LOT of yugioh as a kid and i don’t care what anyone says yugioh gx fucking ruled and so did 5ds they really just went “what if we did it ON MOTORCYCLES” and i respect that 3) i watched the legion of superheroes cartoon with my dad and in retrospect it’s just stunningly fucking ugly but i loved it a lot when i was a kid

[puddygeeks]

We Come Running - The 100 Bellamy x OC - Chapter 62: Unreliable Allies

Masterlist

Episode: Wanheda: Part One

Rating: Mature

Summary: During her time in the Skybox, Indigo formed a precious friendship with fellow outcast Octavia Blake, the girl under the floor. At first they thought their departure from the oppression of the Ark was a blessing, but quickly came to rely on Indigo's keen survival instincts. The 100 struggle to meet the challenges of Earth whilst Bellamy strives to lead the wavering teenagers and his irresponsible attitude fuels constant conflict with Indigo. Their only shared interest is in protecting Octavia and Indigo beings to suspect that there is a deeper cause to Bellamy's seemingly irrational choices. As the consequences of his actions mount up around him, he finally begins to confide in her and she discovers more than she ever bargained for.

Fandom: CW’s The 100

Pairing: OC x Bellamy Blake

LONG TERM ONGOING PROJECT :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

Warnings: Mature content. Non-consent, language, sex, self harm, suicide, anxiety, helplessness, torture, captivity/confinement, alcohol/drug use.

Chapter Sixty-Two

Smuggling my daggers into camp to avoid handing them in to our armoury, I packed away my clothing in a trunk in Octavia’s room and stared at my reflection. It was strange, but it didn’t feel like I had turned my back on the other side of me, but rather that I had merged the two as I promised to utilise what I had learned to assist my family. A knock at the door startled me and I whipped around to find Bellamy hovering awkwardly in the doorway.

“Heard that I might find you hiding out here. Didn’t expect to see you back in camp so soon.” He remarked as he smiled slyly and as I opened my mouth to answer, he shuffled into the room. “Look. I owe you an apology. I was out of line the last time that we spoke. I’m under a lot of pressure right now and I’ve put you in a similar position, which just makes it even worse that you’re the person I took it out on. I always want what’s best for you and sometimes that means disagreeing with you, but I don’t ever want to hurt you, not even by accident. I’m sorry, Inds. You didn’t deserve any of that.” He rambled, his face a sorry picture of remorse as he bared himself to me and I waited for him to allow me the chance to speak. 

“I’m sorry too. I was defensive and unwilling to listen. I didn’t stop to think about how all of this was affecting you, because you seemed so normal and you kept saying that you were okay, so I just stopped asking. I knew you were being weird the last time that I visited and it just wound me into a state. I should’ve listened to your opinion, instead of just yelling at you.” I explained, and his shoulders immediately dropped their tension as he realised that I wouldn’t be holding a grudge. “Are we good?” I asked him nervously, allowing him the opportunity to admit if there was more to his outburst than he had told me, but he simply smiled as he stepped closer to me, placing his hands on my shoulders gently.

“We’re good. You were right. I was being weird. I was feeling overwhelmed and missing you was stressing me out. I wish I’d just talked to you about it, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you how I was feeling until it spilled out of my control. I’m just not used to having someone to depend on.” He divulged, his hands warming my skin and I smiled at him in understanding. “I promise that I’ll do better, okay?” He offered with a sincerity that made my heart ache and I felt certain in this moment that I had made the right decision by coming home.

“Well, it should be easier for you to keep your stress levels down now that you won’t be missing me so much.” I responded cryptically and his handsome features contorted into a confused expression that made me chuckle lightly. “I’m gonna stay in Arkadia. No more running away. Arlo has more investigation to do in Azgeda and I know where I want to be. You were right. This is my home.” I revealed and a relieved smile lit his face up with such genuine joy that it made my stomach flip. 

“Really? You’re gonna stay? That’s great!” He breathed, before he seemed to suddenly doubt himself and anxiety crept into his demeanour. “This isn’t just because of what I said, is it? If you feel like you should be out there. I don’t want to hold you back.” He fretted worriedly and I smiled with appreciation.

“Bellamy, I swear. I’m here because I want to be. It came to time to choose a path and I realised that I already knew the answer.” I explained, causing him to regard me with fondness and sigh contentedly, lapping up every detail of my presence as if there were nothing else he could want. “I just want to make sure that you know you can talk to me about anything. Something you said before worried me, about living with your choices-”

“Love. I promise you, I’m fine. I was just lashing out because I was sick of everyone constantly bringing up Mount Weather. I’m just happy that you’re here. That’s all I need.” He cut me off mid flow with a very convincing assertion and the relaxed tone of his voice almost removed any fears that I carried, leaving only a trace of suspicion that I would continue to watch out for. “Now, if you don’t have any plans for the next couple of hours, I’d like to show you just how sorry I am.” He drawled, as his fingers deftly brushed the hair from my face, before cupping my cheeks and he closed into my space to place the first of many intoxicating kisses on my lips.

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

Watching Lincoln and Bellamy spar was a strange experience, though as I glance around the room at the rest of our audience, I found that several of the female members appeared to be enjoying it for entirely different reasons. I couldn’t understand the necessity for them to be shirtless, but I was not about to argue with matters of testosterone and I had no objections to the sight of Bellamy’s toned chest glistening from the exertion. I bit my lip unintentionally and had to quickly remind myself that we were not currently alone, as a rose blush filled my cheeks.

Since I’d been home, Bellamy had been far more open to the idea of adopting some aspects of grounder life, including learning some simple parts of Trig from me. He was doing surprisingly well in the fight and it was clear that he’d taken my suggestion to allow Lincoln to assist with training seriously. He was able to stand his ground for substantially longer than before, even shocking me with a powerful flying punch, but it wasn’t long before he got overconfident and Lincoln threw him over his shoulder in a manner that only he would have the strength to do. Bellamy slammed to the ground with a groan, panting as his opponent hovered over him with his fist raised threateningly, before he stepped away in victory. He approached the waiting group to address them with authority.

“He had me, but he was too aggressive.” He analysed as he marched back and forth in front of the students and Bellamy struggled to his feet behind him.

“Whatever you say.” He remarked with a smirk and slid on his shirt, much to the disappointment of both myself and every other woman in the room.

“Quitting so soon?” Lincoln teased as he glanced over his shoulder at him and I was pleased to witness how comfortable he’d become amongst the residents of Arkadia. He’d settled into the role of training recruits quickly and I knew that many of them were inspired by his resilience. Personally, I enjoyed watching as he discovered his own sense of humour, but worried that his integration with us could backfire at any moment. Though my confidence in our leadership grew by the day, I continued to remain aware of our history and kept a careful watch for any signs of betrayal.

“Mapping run. Sector 7.” Bellamy answered absentmindedly as he finished getting dressed and I sighed with exhaustion.

Though I’d been aware that this was the plan for today, it had been easy to forget whilst occupied by the recruits and I would have preferred to remain in camp. It felt as if guard commitments were the only activity that filled my days now and I missed simply hiding out in our quarters. I didn’t regret joining the guard. It gave me the opportunity to keep an eye on Bellamy during patrols and it had been a rather well thought out plan on his part. However, part of me longed for the lazy mornings where we could be undisturbed, instead of waking to mission briefs in bed. 

“Harper. Let’s get this over with.” Bellamy called over to her and the blonde in question picked up a large holdall, throwing it to Lincoln with a smile. “Council wants you to have that.” Bellamy explained as Lincoln began to open the bag and my stomach lurched as he pulled out a guard jacket.

“I’m Trikru.” Lincoln stated, his eyes growing wide at the gift and he glanced up at Bellamy doubtfully. Internally, I wished that Bellamy had discussed this with me before he decided to act on the request, as I knew from my experience of integrating with the grounders that this was a much more significant situation than he realised and I fidgeted nervously on the spot.

“A uniform doesn’t change that. This is our home now, Lincoln. We fought for it.” Bellamy appealed, fixing him with an encouraging smile, whilst Lincoln simply furrowed his brows, an evident confliction in his face.

I cleared my throat to gain Bellamy’s attention and the moment that he peered over at me in the crowd, I shook my head just subtly enough to hint at him to drop the topic. He was immediately defensive of my silent criticism and turned to address the crowd instead.

“Too many of our friends died for it. On the Ark, the uniform meant something different. Down here, it means what we make it mean. Together.” He stated, attempting to inspire the recruits to great success and although I understood his perspective, I was uncomfortable with the councils intentions for such a gift. “My sister will understand that eventually.” Bellamy dropped his voice to a mutter as he leaned in close to Lincoln, but I managed to overhear him as I approached. I caught Lincoln’s eye as he reflected on Bellamy’s words and when he instructed the waiting audience, there was an evident tension in his voice.

“Pair up and fight. Now.” His statement was more commanding than usual and people rushed into their places with a greater urgency.

“You don’t have to wear it if it makes you uncomfortable, Linkon.” I offered calmly in Trig and he crooked a brow at me in interest. “She won’t appreciate seeing you in the uniform of the people who arrested her. No matter what he wants it to represent now. I’ll talk to him about it later.” I confirmed and Lincoln sighed in a gesture of stress, before striding over to Bellamy for a hushed conversation. I rolled my eyes at them and said a hurried goodbye to Harper and Monroe as I left to prepare for the outing.

I arrived into the hangar just in time for the Rovers return from the latest supply run to Mount Weather and began the check procedure that I’d harassed Raven into teaching me. It was near impossible to convince her to allow me to assist her with anything, despite my concerns about her exhaustion and so any tasks that I could take off her list were a blessing.

I’d made a habit of ensuring that I allowed time to get started on Rover maintenance significantly earlier than anyone usually planned to meet for any missions, so that when Raven arrived there was little point in her taking over. The supply group wasted no time in unloading and I worked around them in a well practiced routine.

“Oh, you’re already here!” A bright voice cheered and I turned to find Gina smiling at me, freshly returned from her task. I suspected that she’d mostly joined the guard to keep an eye on Raven and as I found myself in a similar position with Bellamy, I couldn’t blame her for doing so. “I was going to find you when we’d wrapped up here, but this saves time. You’re about to fall in love with me.” She crooned as she leaned back into the Rover to root around and I snorted in laughter at her playful comment.

“Is that so?” I remarked with a smile and Gina huffed in annoyance, before crawling fully inside the vehicle. “I think Bellamy would have a thing or two to say about that, you know.” I added with amusement and instead of a reply, several things clattered about as she knocked items over. Several of her crew mates seemed visibly annoyed by her antics, as they struggled to unload the supplies around her chaotic behaviour.

“I know it’s in here somewhere.” Her muffled voice sounded from between the clutter and I chuckled lightly under my breath. She cheered loudly in celebration and her head emerged from the door with a victorious smile. “So! Your brief was pretty vague on what to keep an eye out for, but I’m happy to report that I have absolutely delivered. Here is your Greek shit.” She teased, before presenting me with an immaculately cared for copy of The Iliad. I gasped in response, my eyes growing wide in surprise and she beamed with pride.

“Holy shit. Jackpot!” I exclaimed as I took the book in both hands, flicking through the pages in disbelief. “Gina, I don’t even know if I can thank you enough for this. You couldn’t have picked anything more perfect. Although, I didn’t just ask for Greek shit. I said that or anything mythology based. It’s not my fault if that’s all you focused on.” I defended and she crossed her arms at me, crooking a brow in a sassy manner.

“Right. So very cultured of you.” She drawled and I shook my head at her.

“Seriously though. You exceed all expectations. Thank you!” I enthused, staring down at the book with a deep appreciation and she beamed in response to the praise. “What can I do to pay you back?” I asked in a genuine voice and she shrugged as if she hadn’t done anything special. 

“There’s no need, Indie. It was a simple enough task and I can tell that it was important to you. What are friends for, right?” She responded cheerily and my brows knitted together as I viewed her with a feeling of dissatisfaction. “Okay. If you want to return the favour, you can keep a close eye on Raven for me on today's run. Kane won’t let me go straight back out and she’s been seriously overdoing it lately. I’d feel much better knowing that someone else had her back.” She suggested and I smiled thoughtfully, glad to find that she still had Raven’s best interests at heart despite their bond remaining in the friendship stage. 

“I’d do that for free, but sure. You’ve got a deal.” I confirmed, before returning to finishing up the work on the Rover.

Once I’d completed all the checks that I knew how to do, I busied myself with collecting my gear and dressing for patrol. It still felt strange to wear the guard jacket now that it was tied to a role rather than simply a sentimental item, but the fact that it was Bellamy’s helped to alleviate the awkwardness. This helped me to sympathise with Lincoln’s predicament and I made a mental note to deal with the situation when we returned from our task.

I navigated back to the hangar to find that most of our team was now present and chatting idly as they got ready together. Bellamy and Monty marched down the ramp with someone draped over their shoulders and I sighed as understanding dawned over me. I stepped out of the way to allow them to pass and Bellamy separated himself to approach me instead.

“Hey. I checked in with Kane and mentioned that you were worried. He’s cleared us to take guns this time, so if we’re unlucky enough to come across Azgeda, we’ll be ready.” He replaced as he placed a comforting hand on my arm and I nodded slowly. A loud groan drew my attention and I glanced over to Monty, who was struggling to get Jasper into a manageable position.

“Jasper’s wrecked again, I see?” I commented bitterly and Bellamy simply shrugged, unwilling to discuss the issue whilst we were surrounded by people. I sighed in disappointment and decided to attempt to cheer him up. “Well, I was going to save this for later, but you look like you could use a pick me up now.” I explained as I pulled the book from inside my jacket and handed it to him.

“What’s this?” He asked as he took it from me and turned it over to view the cover with a stunned expression.

“It’s a peace offering.” I admitted, sliding my hands into my jacket pockets awkwardly and Bellamy glanced back up at me with a fond smile. I’d hoped to show that I was invested in getting us back on track following the recent tension and the appreciation in his eyes indicated that this gesture had accomplished this. He seemed perplexed by this gift and I suspected that he was not used to being doted upon. I resolved to change this in the future. “I didn’t think I’d be able to get the exact book that your mother read to you, but I knew that I wanted to get something you could de-stress with.” I elaborated in a small voice, staring at my feet to avoid his eyes and found myself feeling uncharacteristically insecure. Bellamy stowed the book away and stepped forward to cut my face in his hands, forcing me to view him.

“Thank you, Love. This is perfect.” He confirmed, studying my face with a sense of wonder and I sighed with relief. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll relax tonight if you join me. I’ll even read you to sleep.” He offered and I giggled at the idea of him reading to me.

“Deal.” I whispered and he leaned in to kiss my forehead gently, causing butterflies to flutter in my stomach. “Let’s get this run over with.” I groaned, as I reluctantly pulled away from him.

I turned to find Raven examining my work on the Rover, checking that it met her standards and rolled my eyes at the realisation that she still felt the need to do this. People scurried around me as we prepared to move out and I busied myself with packing the necessary supplies into the back. Miller arrived late with a lack of enthusiasm for duty, a frequent pattern of his recently, and I overheard him and Bellamy discussing the use of guns as I placed the last item into the vehicle.

I moved round to the side of the Rover to find Jasper leaning against the doors in an intoxicated slouch and rolled my eyes at the completely helpless state of him. It was already becoming tiring to find him in a noncoherent condition and I couldn’t fathom how Monty was dealing with it on a daily basis. Right on cue, Monty appeared to throw a bucket of water over him aggressively and I was momentarily proud that he had started to absorb my assertions that he was too gentle in the way that he dealt with Jasper.

“Sorry. Was that too cold?” Monty drawled as he viewed him with displeasure and Jasper glowered furiously in response. The others shifted awkwardly in the tension as they stared at each other, before Jasper grabbed Monty and threw him against the Rover with a furious yell. He gripped him by his shirt, holding him in a threatening manner whilst Monty stared back at him with a deeply hurt expression, his eyes wide in shock. The pain in Monty’s eyes spurred me into action and rushed forward to snatch Jasper’s hands out of place.

“Back off.” I growled, my teeth bared in anger as I stood beside them and protectively leaned around Monty, shielding him from any further attacks. Instead of reacting to my fiery attitude, Jasper simply turned slowly away from me with a far off gaze as if he’d completely forgotten what he was doing. Remaining close to Monty to ensure that he wasn’t awaiting a chance to ambush, I watched Bellamy intercept him with an unimpressed expression.

“No gun for you. Not until you’re sober.” He ordered, staring him down with a commanding intensity and I could recognise that his behaviour was beginning to tax on Bellamy too.

“Don’t want one.” Jasper slurred, barely managing to keep himself upright from his intoxication and he swung his arm up for a dramatic solute, slapping Bellamy across the face with the tail end of the gesture before he stumbled away. Bellamy paused for a moment, holding his head down in the position that he’d received the hit in and it was clear that he was struggling to maintain his composure. When he finally looked back up, I was amazed at how calm he had managed to appear and everyone waited for his instruction in the heavy silence.

“Let’s do this.” He announced, spurring the group into life as they all split to take their places in the vehicle and I shuffled over to him with uncertainty filling my movements.

“I don’t think we should take him with us this time.” I admitted quietly, glancing through the window with a heavy feeling of dread in my chest and Bellamy sighed with reluctance. “He’s a major risk. We can’t afford that when we’re getting so close to Azgeda.” I added, unwilling to divulge that I also felt there should be a consequence for his unreliability. We’d tried almost every other approach to dealing with Jasper’s lasting breakdown and I was running out of ideas.

“Monty begged me to take him.” Bellamy mumbled and I glanced up at him with a pang of guilt. “If he hadn’t, I’d have dragged his ass out of the Rover by now.” He confirmed and I nodded solemnly in understanding. “We’ll keep an eye on him together. Come on.” He offered, smiling encouragingly at me before he moved toward the back door, but I reached out to halt him.

“Wait.” I blurted, gripping his arm tightly and he studied me with concern. I stared up at him with an overwhelming sense of foreboding and couldn’t keep myself from taking his face into my hands. “No risks out there. We all come back safe.” I asserted, caressing his jawline with my hands trembling and he met my eyes with confusion. After a few beats, he nodded slowly in agreement and I pulled him in for a quick kiss in the hope that it would provide me with the strength that I need to face today. We walked to the back door hand in hand and sat next to each other on the bench.

“You two are so cute. Makes me sick.” Raven commented from the driver's seat and I caught a sly smile in the rear view mirror. It was obvious that she had been watching us from her seat in the wing mirrors as we shared our moment and I had to chuckle at her deeply ingrained nosiness.

“Couple of murderers. Super adorable. No wonder you get on so well with Monty.” Jasper spat from the passenger seat and as Monty surged forward to grab him, Bellamy quickly reached out to stop him.

“Can it, Jasper.” I groaned, frustration clear in my voice and he glanced over his shoulder with an antagonising expression.

“What, Indigo? You don’t want to get into the shocking amount of people that you’ve killed?” He drawled as he stared at me with unfocused eyes and I clenched my jaw in annoyance. 

“Enough!” Bellamy growled with an aggression that he quickly had to reign in as the others flinched in surprise. “Raven. Take us out.” He added, peeking over at me to calm himself and I smiled back in encouragement. 

Raven began the sequence of preparing the Rover to drive and a variety of sounds announced it’s surge into life. I surveyed the apprehensive faces that surrounded me with a sigh and felt regretful that there was such a heavy atmosphere between us all recently. The days of laughter and relief seemed years away and I couldn’t help a melancholy feeling as I wished for those simpler times to return. The hangar doors creaked open and barely seconds later Octavia galloped into view, blocking our exit with her horse.

“Guess we found her.” Miller remarked with amusement and I noticed a fond smile spread across Bellamy’s lips at the sight of her. Although she still insisted on travelling by horse, I was glad that she would be joining us and knew that I would need as much backup as possible if we were to encounter Azgeda.

“Try and keep up!” She called tauntingly and Raven’s expression grew devious at the challenge. I knew that Octavia would be disappointed that I hadn’t joined her on horseback, but I felt that it was important to be able to keep an eye on Jasper and to support Bellamy in dealing with him.

The vehicle lurched forward as Raven sped outside and not for the first time I questioned whether allowing her to drive was a wise idea. Though I was glad that the adjustments made to the Rover allowed her the morale boost of being behind the wheel, I didn’t feel particularly safe with the erratic way that she navigated the dirt roads alongside Octavia. Jasper began to sing along to the iPod that he had plugged himself into in the front seat and Monty promptly leaned forward to remove his earphones.

“No way.” He commented, as he tilted his head to view him and Jasper rolled his eyes in annoyance. “If you’re gonna ride shotgun, you can’t just disappear.” He argued, before leaning back into his seat and fixing us with a tired face. I smiled at him sympathetically, offering my silent support and instead of gracefully accepting Monty’s expression, Jasper plugged the music into the Rover speakers. Monty shot an arm out to grab the device in annoyance, but Bellamy quickly caught him in motion. 

“Hey. It’s okay.” He offered in a calm voice that seemed to relax Monty’s frazzled nerves too, before glancing over at Jasper sharply. “It’s a long ride.” He muttered and I could tell that he was already dreading how we would cope with him throughout this outing as much as I was. 

Monty relaxed back into his seat and the tense silence fell upon us all again. The melody that Jasper had chosen began to ramp up and filled with space with heavy beats that I wasn’t particularly disapproving of. It was a song that I’d listened to years ago with my father, who’d introduced me to all varieties of punk as he considered it the spirit of rebellion and Miller was the first to cave to the effect of it, drumming in thin air enthusiastically. Monty pinched his brows as the responsibility of managing Jasper weighed down on him and the troubled drunk in question began singing from his seat. Bellamy watched him with a deep disbelief, causing me to chuckle under my breath before he addressed a particularly flirtatious lyric at Raven and I raised a brow in surprise.

“But I look at your pants and I need a kiss.”

Somehow, this seemed to encourage out the playful side of her that had been mostly absent recently and Raven joined him in singing, with Miller closely behind her, now drumming along to the beat with vigour. The tension around us rapidly disintegrated, feeling strangely nostalgic as Monty reluctantly sang along and I couldn’t prevent a smile from taking over my expression.

“But something wont let me make love to you.” I crooned as I finally caved and turned to Bellamy with a cheeky wink, at the exact same moment that Miller leaned on Monty’s shoulder, shaking his arm playfully. Bellamy shook his head as he chuckled at the strange scene unfolding around him. The more than I sang at him, the more he seemed as if he wanted to disappear into the side of the Rover to escape.

“Play with me!” I yelled over the song, disappointed that he was the last person still remaining well behaved and he snorted with laughter, before leaning close to me.

“I’ll play with you later.” He whispered in a deep voice as his hot breath tickled my ear and I pushed him away with a gasp.

Before he could say anything else inappropriate, Jasper turned to face us and climbed out of his seat into the back of the Rover. He was still shouting the lyrics to the song and leaned in close to Bellamy in an effort to break his composure. Instead, Bellamy simply turned his face away, as if hoping that if he just didn’t acknowledge him, he might go away. 

In a way, his wish was granted as Jasper stuck his head out of the hatch in the roof and we could hear his wild screams of celebration even over the blaring of the stereo. Bellamy and I shook our heads at each other with amused smiles and I couldn’t help feeling immensely grateful for this moment. Everyone around me was smiling and enjoying themselves in a way that I hadn’t seen in a long while, even Jasper and I treasured every second of it. The party atmosphere was quickly interrupted as something beeped aggressively from the front and Raven shut the music off to focus on a small screen that was loosely attached to the dashboard.

“Tracking beacon from the Ark!” Monty announced as he rushed into the passenger seat and the vehicle skidded to a stop. 

“Hey. That was the best part.” Jasper sulked as he slid back into a seat from his windswept adventure and I rolled my eyes at his ruined priorities.

“Who is that?” Bellamy quizzed as he shifted closer to the front seats and I did the same, glancing between Raven and Monty with interest.

“Farm station.” Monty confirmed and my stomach immediately flipped as I remembered that this was where both Jasper and Monty were from. I couldn’t help feeling hopeful for them already and couldn’t imagine how they must be feeling. Immediately, it occurred to me how stabilising it could be for Jasper if we could recover his parents and prayed with every ounce of my spirit for Earth to give us just one bit of good luck.

“After four months...how?” Miller piped up in a small, uncertain voice and I shared his confusion.

“We’ll find out. Where are they?” Bellamy immediately enquired and before I could question whether searching for them without backup was wise, the back door of the Rover swung open to reveal Octavia.

“Don’t tell me I missed the party.” She drawled, her face filled with disdain and I felt immediately uncomfortable under her judgement.

“Mostly the drunk being a pain, honestly.” I groaned, which was the truth, even if I had thoroughly enjoyed our few minutes of carefree fun. 

“Nothing new there.” She replied with a wry smile and I relaxed at the sight of it.

“Sector 8.” Monty confirmed as he turned to face us with wide, nervous eyes and I gulped immediately.

“That’s Ice Nation.” Miller commented bitterly and as our eyes met, I could tell that he was one of the few people who had actually listened to my warnings about how dangerous they were.

“What about it?” Octavia questioned, staring directly at Monty with a guarded demeanour and I was glad that she was here to support me with this risky situation. 

“Protocol says to go home. Let the Chancellor decide what to do next.” Raven stated in a remarkably out of character, reasonable answer and I glanced over at her with a brow raised in suspicion.

“Screw protocol.” Bellamy declared and I whipped my attention to him with dread pooling in my chest.

“Bellamy, this is Ice Nation we’re talking about. Crossing into their territory, especially without backup, is a bad idea.” I argued, glancing at him with terror filling my features and he viewed me with a mixture of annoyance and understanding.

“I know your views on them, Inds. But the Chancellor’s not from Farm Station. Monty and Jasper are. So is Miller’s boyfriend” He explained and I cringed at this revelation, realising that we had more people who would be determined to follow this in the Rover than I had first thought. “It’s your call.” He added as he glanced between them with bated breath. 

“Let’s do this.” Monty was the first to answer and though I was fearful, I could completely understand his need to find his family. Both Bellamy and I turned toward Miller, silently asking for an answer and I knew that his vote would decide our course of action. 

“You have to ask?” He replied confidently and I peeked at Jasper, who was staring at the floor, appearing to seem as invisible as possible. I sighed in disappointment and found myself missing the times when I could depend on him to back me up. Raven smiled from the front seat and Bellamy turned to Octavia with a determined expression. 

“Try to keep up.” He drawled tauntingly and she tilted her head at him with attitude, before returning her attention to me.

“This will go badly.” She muttered in Trig and I nodded slowly in response.

“Agreed. Be ready for anything.” I acknowledged, before she slammed the doors closed to return to her horse. Now that events had turned, I found myself wishing that I had bought my horse after all and hoped that we would still be able to maintain control of the situation. 

The Rover took off at a hurried speed and I clung to the seat for stability. Bellamy noticed my nervous behaviour and placed a hand on my thigh to comfort me, but it failed to take effect. My gut feeling was that this decision was a mistake and I remembered Arlo’s clear warnings about the dangers of ever entering Azgeda territory. Practically everyone that I loved was cramped into the vehicle that was now hurtling toward the border and I tried not to panic as I considered all of the ways that this could go wrong.

When we finally slowed to a stop, I stepped out to find that Octavia had already tied her horse out of sight and now remained close to my side as we both expected trouble at any moment.

“These woods must be the border.” Bellamy announced, appearing at my other side protectively and I kept my eyes focused ahead.

“They are.” I confirmed in a stern voice as I recalled the fear inducing lesson that Arlo had given me about identifying the lands and knowing sectors that I should never risk entering. Azgeda was always at the top of that list and every step I took toward it felt like a betrayal.

“So, where’s all the ice?” Jasper slurred, wandering around carelessly behind us as if he had no concept of the danger that we were in and I noticed that he was still not even carrying a weapon.

“Much further north. Azgeda stretches for a thousand miles.” Octavia piped up to educate them, before fixing me with a significant look. We both knew the risks that we were taking by doing this and I could tell that we shared the hope that we wouldn’t have to venture far into their lands. The further that we went, the lower our chances were of ever surviving.

“Good thing we only have to go two hundred metres.” Monty announced in a frantic voice, rushing up to us with his focus blindly set on the screen from the dash of the car and Bellamy had to throw his arm out to keep him pushing past us in his enthusiasm.

“Slow down. He instructed, his deep voice pulling Monty back into the present as he dropped back to address him. “Remember, rules of engagement are non lethal force.” He confirmed as Octavia and I continued ahead, forming the first barrier of defence which seemed most suitable considering our further knowledge of the culture we were dealing with. “Tight formation on my command.” He added, subtly ordering us to stay near him and we paused to both turn back to face him with an unimpressed expression in perfect sync, before Raven appeared at his side. “Raven, you stay in the Rover.” He commanded, glancing at her with frustration and she rolled her eyes at him with the same attitude as Octavia and I.

“Yeah, right.” She ground and I couldn’t help a slight smirk at our shared refusal to be treated like delicate women, despite my own nervousness around Raven’s safety.

“We need every gun we’ve got.” Octavia asserted, fixing Bellamy with an insistent glare before she turned back to me. “If this goes bad, you and I will cut them down whilst the others cover us with guns. We need to be in and out before any reinforcements arrive.” She instructed and I nodded in agreement.

“If reinforcements come, we’re all dead.” I confirmed nervously and she placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“Daun ste pleni.” ⸢That is enough⸥ Bellamy ordered as Octavia’s eyes widened at his use of Trig. I smiled proudly at him, although I knew that he wouldn’t have understood our conversation and was merely trying to return our attention to the task at hand.

“They’re coming.” Monty announced urgently and we all tensed at his words as he stared at the screen. “120 meters. 110.” He took an excited step forward, before Bellamy pushed him back and raised his gun protectively. “They’re our people. What are you doing?” Monty hissed with aggravation and Bellamy glanced back at him with his brows furrowed.

“We hope they’re our people.” He argued and Octavia and I wasted in no time in unsheathing our blades. “On my command.” Bellamy stated, setting the others into action as Raven and Miller took positions in the trees either side of us and Monty attached the screen to his hop so that he could hold up his gun instead. 

The sounds of horses neighing carried in the distance, causing my stomach to flip with nerves and barely a few moments later, the riders came into view. I could recognise their armour even from a distance and as they neared, their bright white faces inspired a deep feeling of terror in my stomach.

“Ice nation?” Bellamy asked with wide eyes, as if finally realising the risks that we were taking in being here and I gulped in answer.

“Yes. White war paint.” Octavia revealed quietly and I watched them closing in on us with my heart hammering in my ears. 

“We’re fucked.” I hissed as Octavia met my eyes and we both frantically attempted to form a plan. “Let’s be respectful. We may be able to talk our way out of this.” I whispered urgently and she gave a subtle nod in agreement. She quickly returned her blade to it’s sheath and I stowed my dagger away too.

“Stay calm.” Octavia instructed to the others, before she held her hands up in surrender and I followed suit, ensuring that I remained close to her side as she took a few cautious steps forward.

“Who are you?” The closest rider called out aggressively, their Trig sharper than I was used to and I peeked at Octavia to check which one of us would answer. She lowered her arms now that we had indicated our peaceful intent and I was glad to be able to keep my hands closer to the handle of my dagger, ready to grab it at any moment that things took a turn for the worse.

“Skaikru. Looking for our people.”  Octavia replied assertively, ensuring that she was clear that although we were willing to cooperate, we had no intention of being trodden over.

“Looking for Wanheda.” The other ride announced, and Octavia and I glanced at each other in confusion. I continued to appeal to them whilst Octavia translated for the others.

“We are no threat. We only ask for permission to enter your lands to recover those we lost in our arrival. We will leave as soon as we have completed our task.” I explained in an even tone and the riders seemed surprised by my ability to speak in their dialect. Octavia at least appeared somewhat as one of them, with her hair still neatly plaited back, but since changing back into my original clothes I was unable to command the same respect amongst grounders as before and I began to wish that I’d stayed in the clothing that Arlo had given me. 

“Who’s Wanheda?” I heard Bellamy ask as the lead rides began to dismount his horse and noticed Octavia staring intensely at me from my side.

“I don’t know.” She grumbled in frustration and I took a moment to meet her eyes. “Any ideas, Indie?” She investigated and I shook my head regretfully. I had no recollection or Arlo ever mentioning this name or title, and it seemed that Indra hadn’t educated her on it either. The lead rider crept closer to us and I gulped as I tried to think of a way to get us out of this mess.

“The light. That’s the beacon.” Monty muttered from behind and my gaze fell onto the flashing item on the riders belt. There was no way we could easily take this and I failed to imagine anything that we could trade for this item that he wore as a trophy. I realised with a crushing clarity that this did not bode well for the chances of those from Farm Station.

“Hey! Get back here!” Bellamy’s sharp voice startled me and before I could even turn back to investigate what was happening, the riders raised their bows threateningly. I held my hands up in an effort to calm the situation and just missed the opportunity to catch Jasper as he stumbled past. Everyone called out individually to him in protest and Octavia barely managed to grasp the back of his bulletproof vest, but was unable to stop him from advancing forward.

“It’s okay. I got this.” He slurred as he stumbled toward the ice nation warriors and my heart leapt into my throat as it took all my self control to remain on the spot.

“Tell them we observe the Commander's truce. Do it now.” Bellamy ordered with panic flooding his voice and Octavia obediently repeated the message. The men relaxed their bows slightly at these words, but as Jasper continued to approach their leader, he stared down at him with a furious scowl. As if completely unphased by the chaos around him, Jasper snatched the beacon from his belt.

“This belongs to us.” He announced, closing in on the leaders face and then promptly turned on the spot to return to us. He barely managed a single step before he was grabbed by his vest and held with a knife to his throat.

“Where’s Wanheda?” The leader growled, his blade already pressing into Jasper’s throat and I could barely catch my breath through the terror that pulsed through my body. Octavia held her hands out in an effort to calm things, but our group had already raised their guns and the bows of the enemy were pointing at us again.

“Breik em au!” ⸢Let him go⸥ Bellamy yelled, holding his gun tightly and I was relieved that I had managed to teach him some limited Trig now, as the more of us that addressed them appropriately, the more we seemed like allies.

“We don’t know who that is!” Octavia argued, even her voice raising in stress and I felt my heartbeat pounding as I stared as Jasper. “Please. We can help each other.” She offered in an attempt to de-escalate, but with Jasper in such a vulnerable position, I lost my patience with peaceful bargaining.

“This boy is an idiot, as you’ve seen, but very important. He is the Chancellor’s son. We had an agreed ceasefire with your Heda. If you kill him, you will be breaking that and our leader will bring wrath down upon you, with the entire coalition in support. Make the right choice.” I yelled in an aggressive manner, lying through my teeth in the hope that I could use my knowledge of their politics to  intimidate them. For a moment, it seemed as if they would release him, until a smug smile spread across Jasper’s lips and a wave of nausea crashed over me. The leader of the riders quickly noticed this and I felt a ripple of concern spread through our group, as they all reacted in various states of shock to his insane behaviour. I could hardly believe what I was seeing and my heart broke into a million pieces as I realised just how bad his mental state had become.

“You think this is funny?” His captor growled in fury and this small act of perceived disrespect pushed him over the edge of reason. He began to cut into Jasper’s throat and without a moment of hesitation, I whipped out my knife.

“No!” I screamed as I launched the dagger with all of my might and it cut through the air like a missile, until the blade planted itself deeply into the leader's face. Fortunately, Bellamy was quick to cover me, shooting down the rider whose bow was pointed at my face and the others began firing sporadically in every direction. 

“Hold your fire!” Bellamy called, frantically trying to keep anyone from being caught in the crossfire as panicked shots filled the air and Jasper stood frozen to the spot in a daze, as the grounder that had been holding him hostage fell to the dirt behind him.

“Jasper, get down!” Octavia cried, prompting him to drop without question and she spun as she threw her machete straight at the chest of the remaining rider. Before any of us could move a muscle, or take a single breath of relief, the radio crackled loudly from our vehicle.

“Rover one, come in. Repeat. Rover one, come in now.”

“What now?” Bellamy groaned as he rushed over to answer it and Octavia and I both rushed over to Jasper.

“I had him.” Jasper mumbled in a pathetic attempt to defend his insane actions and I could barely contain my temper as we hauled him to his feet. 

“What the hell were you thinking?” Miller called over as he and Raven parted ways to approach different parts of the rover.

“We got the beacon, didn’t we?” Jasper wheezed as he clutched at the wound on his neck and I rolled my eyes in frustration at his ridiculous reasoning.

“Yeah. But where did they get it?” Monty argued, his disappointment in this outcome evident in his face and I made a mental reminder to check on him once things had calmed down.

“He needs to get to medical.” Octavia instructed as we dragged him over to the Rover and leant him on the side for stability. Miller jogged to meet us with a med kit from inside and Octavia held our patient in place whilst I got to work bandaging him as best I could.

“I swear to god, Jasper. If I wasn’t so glad that you didn’t just die, I’d kill you myself.” I scolded as I wrapped bandages as tightly around his neck as I could without choking him, despite feeling as if I easily could at this moment. My hands shook from a mixture of terror and fury as I worked and I struggled not to be distracted by Bellamy shouting into the radio about whatever event had gone wrong now.

“Take him home!” I almost jumped out of my skin as Bellamy stormed around the front of the Rover and bellowed toward Jasper with a temper that I’d never before seen from him.

“I’m fine. Thank you for asking.” Jasper groaned as he leaned over to face him and I slapped his cheek gently to stop him from fidgeting whilst I was attempting to stop the bleeding, but also to burn off some of my frustration with him. I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to continue making snide comments after the destruction that he had just caused and didn’t have the mental capacity to pull Bellamy off him on top of everything else that I was dealing with.

“Miller! Get one of the horses for Indie!” Bellamy barked and Miller rushed off to complete his task, clearly not wanting to worsen Bellamy’s already aggressive attitude. “Octavia! Raven can’t ride, so you’ll need to take her on the back. Inds, can you take that idiot with you? You’re our best first aider.” He enquired, softening his voice as he addressed me and I nodded at him nervously.

“He’s losing a lot of blood. It’ll be a challenge to keep the pressure up and ride, but it’s that or he bleeds to death here, so….you can bet your ass I’ll get him to Abby.” I answered firmly as Miller returned with a horse and Octavia began helping me to push Jasper’s already weakening form up into place.

“Miller. Monty. You’re with me.” Bellamy ordered and the boys wasted no time in returning to the Rover. He took a step to follow them, but I caught his arm to pull him back.

“Bel. Keep your head, no reckless decisions. I can’t take any more injuries today.” I asserted as I clung to his arm and he flashed me a tender smile that immediately calmed me.

“You just worry about getting home safe and I’ll do the same.” He muttered under his breath and placed a rushed kiss on my cheek, before tearing himself out of my grip to stomp to the Rover.

I hopped onto the horse with Jasper clinging to me from behind and Octavia tied him to me as a safety precaution that we hoped would not be necessary. He looped an arm around my waist and his chin came to rest on my shoulder, whilst his other hand remained gripping the wound tightly as instructed. Just as we finished preparing for the ride back to Arkadia, I watched the Rover disappear into the distance and mentally made a little prayer for the safe return of those inside.