#themyscira like hippolyta is one of the characters of all time to me but just like
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I should make a post about how insane Diana being chosen as champion is at one point. Like yes ik in most versions it was an anonymous competition but like the sheer level of trust and hope and desire for reconciliation and peace that comes with that gesture is a so insane to me. Hippolyta the woman that you are...
#just so crazy to me. also the amount of FEAR hippolyta and the amazons must have been feeling like that. like i know were told the story#through dianas pov but no WONDER they didnt want her to go/were scared of her going.#like she was the ONLY child in thousands of years and the only one who didnt live firsthand the cruelties that lead to them moving to#themyscira like hippolyta is one of the characters of all time to me but just like#having to send your only daughter out as an emissary of your culture to a world she has never been to and knows little of#and you havent been to in thousands of years. yet the last time you were there your entire society were captured beated and sexually#assaulted for just being themselves and expression their culture...#hippolyta omg just... damn#the weight of this isnt acknowledged nearly enough imo. like diana isnt the ambassador because shes “the princess” she has this job because#she doesnt carry the weight of this past violence the same way (as she never lived it)#and so this lets her trust and be open in a way that some of the other amazons cant. its a new beginning for the relationship between them#its the ultimate show of trust and faith of peace and friendship between the groups#like shes their heart shes their future#and yes in most versions they dont know diana is going to be champion until after the competition and shes usually masked but this doesnt#make the meaning her specific story adds to the role less true#wonder woman#diana of themyscira#hippolyta of themyscira#blah
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i’m a pretty big fan of DC comics (specifically the movies because there are just so many gosh darn comic runs out there but i do my wiki research) and the characterization of diana prince/wonder woman is so all over the place.
i feel like i haven’t seen an adaptation of her character that really served her well, like everyone makes her super boring? i often see the criticism of captain marvel that she had no real personality outside of being a strong woman and i see that a lot with Diana in the DCAMU. like yes she’s a strong woman but I feel like there’s so much more that can be done with that character.
all of her dialogue in the dcamu movies was just really flat and boring. when she took center stage in wonder woman: bloodlines she made for a really forgettable character. i liked that they showed the lengths she would go in battle when she blinded herself to fight medusa but i had to reread my letterboxd review because i couldn’t remember that. i feel like the writing issue could be said for all of the dcamu movies, but they’re not available to watch on max anymore so i could be wrong.
i’ve seen most of the dceu movies (i am the strongest soldier i know) and i just found diana in any movie past wonder woman (2017) to be flat, repetitive, and radiate serious nlog energy. the entire crux of her character is that we the audience is to find her attractive, but god forbid we mess with her or she’ll beat us up. or when she said “i’m unlike any woman you’ve ever met” what about all the other female superheroes out there? she only works in a sort of male fantasy-only girl on the team kind of vibe. kind of similar to early black widow from the marvel movies but with only a little more agency.
i revisited justice league and justice league unlimited for the second summer in a row and i feel like the episodes where we get diana center stage are some of my favorites. even though i have my gripes with bruce timm and the writing of diana there too, i think diana works a lot and she could’ve carried her own series with a different set of writers.
as far as i can tell in the in jl and jlu (and the 6 issues i pirated from the sensational wonder woman) diana is levelheaded, kind, compassionate, incredibly headstrong, and genuinely smart. sometimes she prioritizes the brawn a little more than strategy but she was raised as a warrior and i feel like that could’ve been an interesting arc to explore.
i really hate how in every adaptation i’ve seen, they made all of the Amazons seem like heartless misandrists. like according to greek mythology, ortrera (the mother of the amazons) was raised in a world where women were treated horribly so she left and built her own world with other women so they could live in peace and train to be warriors. i’m assuming that ortera’s daughter hippolyta (even tho she died) is supposed to be diana’s mom. i think that the pressure of basically being an heir to themyscira could’ve been a lot of pressure for diana to subscribe to her grandmother’s line of thinking and been part of the reason she even left paradise island in the first place. also women were oppressed because femininity was seen as lesser and i would’ve loved to see femininity not be villainized and have a place to flourish on paradise island where they would be safe to express themselves.
the more i watch dcau shows, the more i can tell that they were made by men for boys and no one else. diana and shayera were sidelined so much even though they were probably the most compelling, at least to me. i feel like the audience was supposed to side eye diana because she grew up in a culture that was misandrist but didn’t take the care to explain with nuance why that was a problem.
time and time again we see people write diana to reject femininity and denounce her womanhood in favor of her strength to show she’s just as good as a man, but that sucks. she has the potential to be such an interesting character on screen if someone is willing to put in the work. and i especially hate that we only see her embrace femininity when she’s in a romantic situation with a man. we see her talk a lot about the deep sisterhood she shares with her amazon sister, but i wanna see it happen. i want to see her embrace the women on the justice league, have girls nights with her civilian friends, complain about work, just exist as a regular woman living in america.
i’m so sick of every adaptation of her character have themes tied to surface level gender politics because we’ve already gotten the same character a dozen times when the other two parts of the trinity are given so much depth. so challenge yourself, write diana like a human being!!! she is so much more then her gender
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A Shallow Dive Into: Justice League of America
Good morning Alex, and sorry, this must be getting boring. I usually have a topic ready days prior but this week was pretty hectic. I was gonna write code to analyze Spotify's top tracks and report my findings but sadly I don't have the time to write the code and write a blog post about it so I'm fishing my draft for the Justice League shallow dive I'd scrapped and finishing it up :P.
What's the Justice League?
DC had a team of superheros called the "Justice Society of America". After comic books fell out of popularity, the team was pretty much abandoned, and later reimagined in the form of the Justice League and also revived, but in a parallel universe. The Justice League at it's conception had the big shots Batman and Superman, Wonder Woman, A new Flash and Green Lantern (versions of whom who appeared in the Justice Society), Aquaman, Martian Manhunter but the roster has expanded exponentially since then and spawned sub-teams such as the magic based Justice League Dark, Justice League International consisting of superheroes from countries that are not America and Justice League Incarnate for the multiverse to name a few. The popularity of the Justice Society spawned other teams such as the Teen Titans, Young Justice, the Fantastic Four and the Avengers (Yes, DC did it first, just like everything else).
Meet The Cast
Superman - The (super)man, the myth, the legend. Kal-El is an alien from the planet Krypton (named so because the writer liked the element Krypton???). He landed on the farm of a couple, Jonathan and Martha Kent in Smallville, Kansas. His powers include: Flying, very durable body, super-strength, super-speed, frost breath, heat vision, super-vision (x-ray, telescopic yada yada). He can photosynthesis, but not under a red sun, they remove his powers, Krypton has a red sun, so Kryptonians are normal on Krypton, except I think Supergirl learnt to fly on Krypton in Injustice so idk, maybe just inconsistencies. Batman also has red sun in his possession to stop Superman if need be. Do not ask me how that works.
Batman - See: My last post
Wonder Woman - Princess Diana is the daughter of Hippolyta, the Greek mythology one. Although in DC, Amazons live on an island named Themyscira, where no men are allowed, and everyone is immortal I think so there is no need for reproduction. Wonder Woman is bisexual but her main love interest is a man, sadly. This origin story was concocted by a super-feminist and considered them the superior sex so he made an island without men cuz men suck I guess. I’m really sorry but I know very little about Wonder Woman.
The Flash(es) - The Flash is more of a mantle than a character. It has been carried by like 6 people at this point, those being:
Jay Garrick - The first Flash. Please forgive the origin story, it was 1940. He, in a lab, tipped over a beaker of HARD WATER, and the fumes of it gave him super-speed. He’s too old for me to know much about, sorry.
Barry Allen - Ah, the most iconic one of them all, FOR OLD PEOPLE!!! He was the Flash in the Justice League back in the Bronze and Silver ages, and was killed off in 1985, in Crisis. He returned in 2008. Just let Wally have some peace man, he’s been tortured because of Barry’s existence. Bartholomew Henry Allen’s (why is it legal to name people that) mother was killed by [SPOILER] when he was a kid and his father was wrongfully arrested because there was no evidence. Barry became a CSI to prove that his father did not commit the crime. He sadly died in prison before Barry could prove his innocence. Anyways, onto how he got his powers. This one is better tho. While working in the forensics lab one night, he was struck by lightning and doused in chemicals, giving him superspeed, because lightning, I guess.
Wally West - Nephew of Barry Allen’s girlfriend at the time Iris West, he was a huge fan of The Flash who just so happened to be his uncle. One day Iris took Wally to visit Barry’s crime lab, and guess what, lightning does strike twice. Barry revealed his identity and mentored him as he became Kid Flash. As Kid Flash he was a founding member of the Teen Titans. Again, I’m very salty that very few Teen Titans adaptations have him despite him being a founding member. Then, as he neared his 20s and still going by Kid Flash for some reason, Barry dies in his fight against Anti-Monitor. He is forced to step up as The Flash and struggles with carrying on the legacy. He has a psychological block on his speed because he was scared to outshine Barry, but with new threats forcing him to overcome the block, he becomes the fastest Flash ever and has the best connection to the Speed-Force, the force that gives the speedsters their powers.
I won’t go into details about the rest of the speedsters, there are far too many, but I will list some of them. Bart Allen, grandson of Barry Allen. Tornado Twins, twins of Barry and Iris. Johnny and Jesse Quick, Father and Daughter who get superspeed by speaking a formula, 3X2(9YZ)4A, don’t ask Wallace West, Barry’s nephew who got his powers the same way Wally did. Wait. Wallace? As in Wally? Wait what? Yeah, so remember how Wally was wiped from existence? Wallace was brought in to replace him. He’s Wally, but African-American, younger and just a less fun character.
Green Lantern - This is also a character with multiple characters having the same name. The Green Lantern Corps is basically an intergalactic police department. Each of them have a ring that lets them create anything, limited only by their imagination, and superspeed and breathe-in-space-thing. The first Green Lantern I know nothing about, Alan Scott, got an actual green glowing lantern and made a ring with it. The rest, however, were approached by a premade ring and selected for their indomitable will. Oh yeah, there’s also a whole rainbow of Lantern Corps. Yellow is their main enemy led by a former GL. I know too little about them too except Alan Scott is the Jay Garrick of GL, Hal Jordan the coolest the Barry, and Kyle Rayner the Wally. The others I don’t know much about, but they are John Stewart, Guy Gardner, Simon Baz, Jessica Cruz, idk why there’s only 2 female GLs and both took till the 2010s, and Sojourner Mullein.
Martian Manhunter - I know far too little about him too, but he’s a Green Martian, who was a criminal on Mars, his race was wiped out, I think, and is trying to reform on Earth. He has transformation powers, intangibility, and telepathy and a heck ton more, even wiki collapsed the list, even Superman doesn’t have a list that long.
Aquaman - Super-speed underwater, super-strength, super-durability, trident, talks to fish, weak telepathy, largest nation on Earth. Oh, right, origin story. Arthur Curry's mother was the Queen of Atlantis but his father is human, so he’s half Atlantean and half-Human so Atlantis people hate him but he gains their respect. I know too little, sorry again.
Those are the main members of the JL of America (There are a lot more). And there’s Cyborg too I guess but I consider him a Titan so he’ll be in part 2 if there’s ever one.
Alex, I'll see you on Thursday -Alia
#dc comics#dceu#dc extended universe#snyderverse#restorethesnyderverse#superman#batman#wonder woman#the flash
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I posted 1,509 times in 2022
102 posts created (7%)
1,407 posts reblogged (93%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@dianaof-themyscira
@dailydccomics
@sirgnomethegiant
@evandstuff
@pegsccarter
I tagged 1,214 of my posts in 2022
Only 20% of my posts had no tags
#wonder woman - 370 posts
#hippolyta - 75 posts
#talder - 74 posts
#diana of themyscira - 66 posts
#connie nielsen - 63 posts
#❤❤❤ - 57 posts
#hannah waddingham - 56 posts
#gal gadot - 56 posts
#wonder art - 33 posts
#peggy carter - 31 posts
Longest Tag: 110 characters
#this allergy networks have to having more than one wlw couple at a time is going to be my villain origin story
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
See the full post
198 notes - Posted September 6, 2022
#4
I’m not even mad about talder because i knew it wasn’t likely to happen. tbh i was more concerned with them both surviving the finale. But what pisses me off is that the chosen alternative just completely disrespects tally?
Like, what, her two sisters get thought out seasons long relationships and she gets her endgame shoehorned in at the VERY last minute...to a guy we haven’t seen or so much as gotten a name drop at all this season??
Tally deserves so much better than that.
205 notes - Posted August 15, 2022
#3
of all the images miss renée could use for her ig post of course she picks the one that looks like a renaissance painting
...also tally with that thumb ring on her RIGHT hand lol
253 notes - Posted July 24, 2022
#2
okay but why does talder have the tension of two people who have loved and lost each other across multiple lifetimes like wtf
320 notes - Posted July 15, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
tumblr_video
via lynerenee’s instagram
she can do just everything, huh?
425 notes - Posted August 24, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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I don't know anything about Artemis, but oh god, Donna's origin is such a mess. Let me see what I can do...
Origin #1: Basically she's Diana's adopted sister.
Her birth mother gave her up when she was a baby, and her "foster parents" (they were actually traffickers) died in a fire when she was around 3. Donna was rescued from the fire by Diana, who took her back to Themyscira. Queen Hippolyta adopted Donna, and all of the Amazons on the island sacrificed 1% of their power in order to give her the full abilities of any other Amazon. She grows up on Themyscira, and when she's a teenager goes to help Diana, becoming Wonder Girl.
Except they wanted to use Crisis on Infinite Earths to reboot Wonder Woman, and make so she'd only just left Themyscira for the first time, which didn't really work with the idea that she was wandering around saving babies from fires 16 years ago. But Donna was also a major player in The Teen Titans, which were super successful at the time. So that leads us to...
Origin #2: Titan Seed Donna.
So a long long time ago the Greek Gods kicked all the Titans off earth, so they created their own planet, New Chronus. In this version they saved Donna from the fire instead of Diana. In order to preserve their powers the Titans needed to create "god seeds" by bringing a bunch of orphans from all different planets to New Chronus and giving them the power of the gods. Then when the kids were like 15, the Titans wiped all their memories and returned them to their home worlds so they would be safe. When Donna's like 21, one of the Titans comes back to Earth and reveals that all of her pre-age 15 memories are a lie.
Also in this version Wonder Girl actually existed before Wonder Woman. Donna was never Wonder Woman's sidekick and instead her costume was inspired by the American Flag. She just kind of showed up and started hanging out with the other Teen Titans and I guess no one stopped her. She didn't even meet Diana until after she found out about all the Titan Seed stuff. They're basically co-workers that really like working with each other, but only get the chance once or twice a year.
Origin #3: Clay Duplicate
I don't know this one as well because I haven't actually read it yet, but for some reason they gave her another new origin. This time she was created out of clay to be a duplicate of Diana so she'd have someone to play with. Hippolyta would later recognize that part of Diana's soul was inside of Donna, and so claim her as her daughter as well.
Origin #4: All Previous Origins are True
So at the end of Crisis on Infinite Earths every Earth merged together and the characters also became a merged version of themself from all the other Earths. For most people this didn't matter, but as I mentioned Donna got a major reboot from it. Unfortunately for her, she now has the memories of all of her alternate versions, pre-crisis included. Which is how we get the "All of Donna's Origins are Canon Actually" thing.
Origin #5 and #6: Fuck the N52
They give Donna TWO DIFFERENT BACKSTORIES in the New 52 in two different comics that were running AT THE SAME TIME. In Teen Titans she was just your standard teen hero. In Wonder Woman she's a magical golem who was actually fighting against Diana's rule. It's later revealed that the evil version was just an illusion, but also Donna is still a magical golem.
~
In her most recent appearances (Titans 2023 and Wonder Woman 2023) they seem to have gone all the way back to using the original origin story where Diana saved her from a fire and they're adopted sisters. (Which honestly, thank god, that was always the best one anyway imo)
Origins 3 - 6 might not be as accurate as 1 and 2, since I haven't actually read them myself yet, but I've done pretty extensive research and I think I got them mostly right.
As for Who Donna is, here are the basics:
Everyone keeps making her the team mom despite her not wanting to be. She's really good at it, but she would really like if someone else could be the team mom for a bit. Obviously she cares about her friends, she'll be there for them if they need it, but the constant pressure to be the "adult" and the one everyone goes to has caused her to have at least one breakdown. There are multiple points in the older comics where Donna has insisted she doesn't want to be in charge, despite arguably being the most eligible and consistent Titans' member. This does not stop all of the others from defaulting to her being in charge whenever the actual leader is unavailable anyway.
Outside of the Titans, Donna's whole thing is she feels like she has to be perfect all the time and always look out for everyone else. In the early comics she's constantly treated like she's more mature and put together than the other Titans even though they're the same age. Which leads to everyone thinking Donna Troy has the picture perfect life: a family, a career, and superhero-ing in her free time, she can manage it all. Donna kinda ends up internalizing that idea. Which of course makes it all the more devastating for her when things fall apart, and makes her less likely to tell her friends when she's having problems.
She's also super scared of accidentally hurting the people she loves because she underestimated her strength, and that her non-hero friends (namely her ex-husband, who fucking sucks by the way) will be intimidated or put off by her abilities.
Also her and Dick Grayson are best friends, no matter what else is going on in her life, that is always true.
~
Sorry about the length, Donna is just not an easy character to try and break down for... hopefully obvious reasons. I should say that most of my knowledge comes from The New Teen Titans/New Titans Era, but I hope it helps anyway, and I'm happy to try and answer questions or clarify if anything here wasn't clear!
ok, i think i understand a bit better. wonder woman’s thing is only using the necessary amount of force.
“Don’t kill if you can wound, don’t wound if you can subdue, don’t subdue if you can pacify, and don’t raise your hand at all until you’ve first extended it.”
that’s her thing and her backstory is.. daughter of zeus and she is either sculpted from clay or she is actually his kid. i get cassie sandsmark and her origin, i’m a huge fan of young justice 1998.
can someone explain donna troy and artemis to me? i know what they’re in and i have a vague idea of the relationships they have with their teams but i don’t really know them.
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Connections 9
Chapter 9
this is based on @thepeacetea daminette soulmate au
Masterlist *** First *** Previous *** Next
Warning ⚠️ Character death
~~~~~~~~~~
Mari always thought her soul bond was curious. She never heard or activated the bond on purpose. She doubted her soulmate did either, because of what Bruce had told her about the league of Assassins. But everything seemed just off. Apart from that one switch she never had contact again. The only thing she has to gleam of her soulmate are the abilities she learned through him. She settled into bed after biding her papa goodnight.
That might not be a bad thing. As soon as that thought crossed her mind was she pulled again, but this was different.
---
Time seemed frozen for Damian.
His mother came for him again. She brought an army and him, an older version a clone of himself. She brought his clone Heretic, who was pulling the sword from Damian's chest.
I lost, he thought as the sword fell from his hand.
Father, Batman, rushed towards him when two orbs of light circled above him, one red and one green.
The red light morphed into a girl with a high ponytail and a red mask covered her eyes, her eyes emanated a red light. She was dressed in a basic suit that resembled a cross of Nightwing and Red Robin's uniforms, just all red with black spots, gloves, and boots.
The green orb turned into a boy a short cloak covered his torso, the hood covered his head and face, two cat ears were part of the hood, his eyes were glowing green. A tail flicked around under the armor set around his waist.
The girl looked at him now in his father's arms.
"No!" she yelled everything fell silent to him as he watched about a dozen more orbs appeared each forming a figure in either red or green. All except the first two moved and quickly dispatched the clone, the army of assassins, and pushed mother back.
His vision faded to black.
He could no longer feel his father's arms under him.
---
Nightwing, Red Hood, and Red Robin were now around Batman and the fallen Robin. The past holders of the miraculous formed a ring around them, linking hands. They moved them all to the Bat-cave.
"Come back little one." Hippolyta, if she remembers what Tikki told her, cupped her face as she faded away.
"Tikki," she whispered out.
"What's wrong?" the little goddess rubbed her eyes.
"I... We... Cave... Now." She managed. She transformed and swung through Gotham unnoticed until she reached the cave under the manor.
The past holders and her cat were still there. She dropped her transformation and ran to her extended family.
"Pixie how?" Jason had taken off his helmet and hugged her.
"You were there weren't you." Tim stated, so she nodded confirming his theory.
“He is neither alive nor dead he is in a plane between the two." A cat, Hei Mao, dressed in a long sleeved black gi, armor plates on his right upper arm and a cat mask on top of his head, eyes like the other cat apparitions were glowing green a black domino mask covered his eyes.
"How is that possible?" Bruce coaxed himself to whisper, cowl down and holding back tears.
"He is your bonded. You are tethering and maintaining his soul whole." A ladybug in knightly armor, red glowing eyes like all the other ladybugs spoke, Joan of Arc.
"My bonded," Marinette breathed under her breath.
"The magic which flows through your veins flows through him. He is your..." the only male ladybug, a red feathered headdress and red cape, red warrior paint covered his eyes and stained his hands, Micazoyolin, added only to be interrupted by Dick.
"Soul mate." Dick gasped from next to her.
"It is possible to revive him." a woman in a loose black dress and a Jaguar patterned cape with green under the cape. A black Jaguar headdress with long green feathers sat on her head green warrior paint on her face and hands, Ocelome, drawled looking between Damian's lifeless body and the green soul of her cat. "By using the waters of the Lazarus."
A gasp was heard from the bats and birds in the cave, Mari flinched further into her big brother Jay. Mari began to sag from exhaustion and the visages of the past holders began to flicker.
"Perhaps this conversation is best held elsewhere," Hippolyta broke the silence. "I, Queen Hippolyta of the Amazons, invite all of you to Themiscyra. Until we meet in the flesh my child."
Two by two each pair of ladybugs and their cats disappeared, all but the solitary cat, her cat, remained. Everything was still and silent within the cave. No one knowing how to proceed, so they stayed as they were.
None of them could tell you how long they stayed like that, but a new voice started.
"Bruce care to explain why my mother told me to bring all of you to Themiscyra." Wonder Woman appeared on the Bat-computer. "By Zeus. The apparition of the cat. Do you know what this means?" Bruce’s back was to the computer, Damian’s body still in his arms protected by his cape from Wonder Woman’s sight.
"Yes we do. Come by around noon everything should be sorted by then." Bruce brought himself to say, Tim ending the call after a nod from Wonder Woman.
"Come on pixie let's get you home before the sun rises." Jason put on his helmet. She nodded, transformed , and let Jason pick her up as they left the cave.
Jay-Jay stopped a few blocks away, she moved and clung on his back like a baby koala. As Red Hood swung and ran across the roof tops. He tucked in his little sister and left.
---
One moment he was dying in his father's arms. No he did die in his father's arms. But what was odd was the tug after a moment in the darkness.
The next he was standing in the Bat-cave next to his father and his body. The first girl in red was gone, but the others were here still. About 10 minutes later a red figure of a girl swings into the cave. If he could move or speak he would have. Or maybe not. The figure was engulfed in pink light and there stood Marinette Stone. She ran into a hug from Todd.
"Pixie how?"
"You were there weren't you." Drake stated, Marinette must have understood the statement as she nodded her head. It was silent until one of the green and black figures spoke.
"He is neither alive nor dead he is in a plane between the two." Hei Mao, the other voice in his mind supplied.
How am I not dead?!
He could still not move or speak so he stood and listened.
"How is that possible?" he heard his Father.
"He is your bonded. You are tethering and maintaining his soul whole." Joan of Arc, the voice again supplied.
"My bonded," Marinette, the voice supplied but now he placed it, the voice is Marinette.
"The magic which flows through your veins flows through him. He is your..." the only man in red, Micazoyolin, Marinette corrected his thought.
"Soul mate." Grayson shrieked.
"It is possible to revive him." Ocelome, she supplied and he took the intonation, without our analyzing now. "By using the waters of the Lazarus."
He heard his family suck in a breath and seem to become stone still, Marinette flinched further into Todd who was hugging and seemingly guarding her.
"Perhaps this conversation is best held elsewhere," Hippolyta broke the silence. "I, Queen Hippolyta of the Amazons, invite all of you to Themiscyra. Until we meet in the flesh my child."
Two by two each pair of ladybugs and their cats disappeared, all abut him. He still could not move, he could not speak either, but his mind raced.
I am dead.
Actually I am apparently not alive or dead.
My best friend is my soulmate.
My soulmate does not hate me.
She knows. She knows me. She knows my aggravating family.
She is stuck with us, with me.
Marinette is my best friend who happens to be my soulmate.
His thoughts would have continued had it not been for the voice coming from the Bat-computer.
"Bruce care to explain why my mother told me to bring all of you to Themyscira." Wonder Woman, "By Zeus. The apparition of the cat. Do you know what this means?"
"Yes we do. Come by around noon everything should be sorted by then."Father spoke his back to the screen shielding his body from vein.
"Come on pixie let's get you home before the sun rises." Todd finally spoke taking Marinette home.
Father finally stood, for a moment he looked at him and then his body before moving to place his body in a portable cyro-chamber in the Bat-plane.
Then the darkness returned.
---
The next morning she woke up with a resolve that everything would turn out fine.
Okay sure I just found out my best friend is my soulmate. the was killed by his clone, but he is in a state of limbo. Okay this was a lot but this is not the end of the story.
So as she, her papa, and Penny were having breakfast a knock sounded at the door.
"I'll get it." Penny excused herself. "Tim what a surprise come in." Tim was promptly sat at the table a mug of coffee and pancakes were placed in front of him.
"What brings you here so early mate?" Papa chuckled after watching Tim chug the coffee.
"Well, we were planning on a family trip for the week but..." he started. "B locked himself in his office and Damian won't budge, so" he looked at Jagged. "We were hoping that we could steal little bean for the week since both of them can't say no to her." he rushed barely stopping to breathe.
"Whatcha say little rock star," Papa turned to her smiling, "want to spend the week with your brothers?"
"Yes." She jumped up and hugged her dad and ran to her room to pack. Tim-Tam joined her a minute later as he asked Diana about the climate of the island.
"Why can't we go too, Lucky Penny?" Mari heard her papa ask.
'Sigh' "You've got a full schedule, why don't we plan something for the following week, your clear then." they heard Penny compromise.
"Rock 'n hear that little star," Papa poked his head in as they finished packing. "Maybe we'll steal one of Bruce's birds next week for our trip." He semi whispered the end.
Tim seemed surprised at the comment but schooled his features quickly, he picked up the suitcase and Mari pulled her papa out of the penthouse suite, gave him a hug as she went with Tim.
Less than an hour later she was sitting in the Bat-cave having loaded the bags in the Bat-plane, with the three eldest Wayne children and Bruce, waiting for Wonder Woman.
"Hey Mari can I ask something?" Tim sat down next to her.
"What is it Tim Tam?"
"What did Jagged mean when he said one of Bruce's birds?" Everyone was now watching the two and listening to the response that was to follow.
"Oh, um papa might have figured out that Uncle Bruce is Batman." She was now fiddling with her fingers in her lap. When no one answered she continued. "Remember a couple of months ago when the Sirens crashed Papa's concert. Well when Uncle Bruce and Jay Jay moved me and Papa away and into his dressing room, B didn't make his voice gruff and gravelly as Batman's usual voice. So papa thought maybe his voice isn't usually as gruff and the new voice is actually his real voice, and once papa hears a voice, he never forgets it. I promise I never told him and I never told him he was right but he is pretty sure and I don’t think he’ll even believe you if you tell him he’s wrong." Mari scrambled to say, ending it with a small sad smile looking up through her lashes at everyone.
"Father like Daughter," Bruce was the first to speak. "Everyone is getting a permanent voice modifier installed in their suits." This resulted in every one laughing. Effectively breaking the tension previously in the room.
"Smart idea B." Jason answered making Mari smile wider.
That was when Wonder Woman decided to arrive. Ending the conversation as they boarded the Bat-plane leaving for Themyscira.
Next
~~~~~~~~~~
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Retirement
Read Retirement on AO3
Masterlist
For Maribat March Day 21 - Domestic Bliss
The first time Marinette and Garfield ever discussed retirement was before they even started dating. For superheroes, retirement was just a fact of life. One day, if you make it long enough, you'll put down the suit and you'll never pick it up again. Maybe someone will take your place. Hopefully, no one will need to. But no matter how strong you are, not even if you're Superman in his prime, the simple fact was that someday you would retire.
"What do you think you'll do after you retire?" Marinette mused to Garfield. Out of all the Titans, Marinette spent the most time around Gar, simply because the two of them spent a lot of time in the living room. Marinette liked the ambient noise that his video games provided when she worked on her projects, and Gar liked to have someone to talk to while he played. Most of Marinette's current focus was on the embroidery in her hands, as she stitched vines running down the sleeves of her shirt, but she still took the time to start a conversation with Gar.
"I dunno..." Gar glanced up from the game he was playing. "What'll you do once you give up being Ladybug."
"That's a tough question. I used to think that I wanted to run a big fashion company, like Agreste Fashion, but now I think I want something a little more low-key. In my ideal future, I own a little boutique where I make custom clothing. There would be a fabric store and a café on the same block as me, and I would never have to leave the neighborhood."
"That sounds nice. I think I might try going to college and see where that takes me. I applied to Jump City University right before Christmas, and they accepted me. If I went, I would start classes in the fall.”
Marinette’s head jerked up as she gave Gar her full, undivided attention. “I’m going to JCU next fall!” she exclaimed excitedly. “We might have classes together. What are you planning on majoring in?”
Gar shrugged, “JCU has a veterinary program that I'm interested in. I'd be taking animal behavior, biology, chemistry, and a whole bunch of other science classes.”
“That’s so cool!”
“It’s nothing much. I didn’t expect them to accept me, anyway.”
Gar seemed oddly subdued about the idea of going to college. He was a naturally enthusiastic person, which made it very out of character for him to be so dismissive. It worried Marinette. “No, you deserve praise for your accomplishment. Jump City University is a very selective school.”
“I’m not a genius. I’m just me.”
“You’re smart, Gar, I know you are. Getting accepted to JCU is just one of the many reasons why you are brilliant.”
“Are you gonna name them all for me?” joked Gar.
His question was rhetorical, just a joke, but Marinette wasn't finished convincing Gar that he deserved all the praise in the world. “For starters, you can finish any video game in less than a day. Even the ones where you need logic and strategy, you fly right through them. Secondly, you’re a genius when it comes to animals. And it’s not just because of your superpower. You taught yourself animal behavior so that you could blend in with the animals you’re imitating. Thirdly, you pretend not to be invested in politics, but I’ve seen how you keep yourself informed about environmental policies and activism. You really care about the planet. Fourthly-“
"Alright, Buginette,” laughed Gar, a slight blush on his cheeks. “You’ve proven your point.”
Marinette set her embroidery down on the coffee table and moved to Gar's couch. "Is this game multiplayer?"
"Yep. Do you want to play a few rounds?"
"Hmm... I think I could spare a few minutes to kick your butt."
"Please. I'm going to squash you like the little bug you are."
"You wish!"
----------
The next time Marinette and Gar discussed retirement was well after they started dating. They got together in their Junior year at JCU after spending two years in relationship limbo, with both too nervous to make the first move. They finally confessed their feelings for each other after Dick and Starfire locked them in a closet together until they admitted that they liked each other. They graduated college as a couple, with Gar planning on attending veterinary school and Marinette planning on starting up her fashion business. That summer they spent a lot of time talking about the future.
"I've been thinking of recruiting someone to take over as Ladybug," remarked Marinette as she cuddled up next to Gar on the couch.
"Really? Who do you have your eye on?" asked Gar.
"Wonder Woman recently took on a new protege, Cassie Sandsmark. The Ladybug Miraculous already has some connections to Wonder Woman and her home of Themyscira. Her mother, Queen Hippolyta, was a wielder of the Ladybug Miraculous for quite some time."
"If you gave up the Miraculous would you still fight crime?"
Marinette shook her head. "I think it might be time to give up crimefighting. It's been ten years since I took up the Ladybug Miraculous to fight Hawkmoth, and six years since Hawkmoth was defeated. I wasn't ready to give up that responsibility then, but I think I'm ready now."
"When would you give up the Miraculous?"
"Soon. I talked to Wonder Woman about it last week and she's enthusiastic about the idea. I would need to spend some time getting to know Cassie, just to make sure she's a good fit, and Tikki would need to vet her as well, but I have a good feeling that she'll pass any tests of character we put her through." Marinette turned to face Gar. "I didn't want to make any concrete decisions before I talked to you. I know that we've always fought crime together, but I'm ready to move on with my life. I'm ready to retire."
Gar nodded. "I understand and I fully support your decision. I've been considering leaving the Titans as well. I know I could continue living in the Tower and attend veterinary school at JCU, but last week I got an acceptance letter from UC Davis for their School of Veterinary Medicine."
Marinette's eyes widened. "Gar, that's amazing! I remember looking into UC Davis when you were applying, and their program is nationally ranked."
Gar grinned. "The best in the country. It's too good to pass up."
"You have to go!" exclaimed Marinette. "This is your dream!"
"I think I'll send in my acceptance tomorrow," decided Gar. "Maybe we can go to Davis this weekend and scout out an apartment."
"And fabric stores," chimed in Marinette.
Gar laughed. "Anything for you, Buginette."
----------
The final time Marinette and Gar discussed retirement was years later. Marinette and Gar had gotten married and had moved back to Jump City. Marinette opened her fashion boutique, which had very quickly exploded in popularity. Gar started working for a non-profit veterinary clinic, which provided free veterinary services to lower-income neighborhoods. They had both achieved their dreams, and yet neither seemed content with their lives.
"Maybe we just need a change of scenery," suggested Marinette, leaning her head against Gar as they both sat on the beach watching the sunset. "I'm so tired of the city."
"Maybe," said Gar. "It would be nice to have a house with a backyard, rather than just an apartment."
Marinette sighed. "I know that I always said that I wanted to be the owner of a successful boutique, but this wasn't really what I had in mind. I'm so busy that I feel like I never get to spend any time with you anymore. Every day my inbox is filled with emails asking me to sell my company or expand to more locations. I'm tired of it. My passion is for making clothes, not running a business."
"I know how you feel. Every day I encounter another neglectful pet owner who brings their animal to the clinic for help but refuses to listen to me when I tell them that they need to change the way they treat their animal. It's exhausting."
"We could both just quit our jobs and move into the woods," joked Marinette.
Gar nodded, but he wasn't joking. "I've actually been thinking about that. There are a lot of remote regions with a real need for veterinary practices to provide medical assistance for the farm animals out there. I would feel a lot more useful taking care of animals that don't have anyone else."
Marinette turned to face Gar. "I wouldn't mind moving. I've been sending all of the offers to buy my boutique straight to my email archive, but I'm sure if I looked through them all I could find someone who would be able to take care of the business aspect of Ladybug Designs. I could retire from the business and design on my own time, when the inspiration strikes, instead of forcing myself to churn out design after design."
"You really wouldn't mind?" asked Gar, a hopeful look on his face.
Marinette shook her head. "I was serious about moving out of the city. There's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but I've been waiting for the right moment. I think that moment is now. Gar, I'm pregnant."
The deer-in-the-headlights look on Gar's face was comical, to say the least. Marinette giggled, "Well?"
Gar snapped back to reality, transforming into an elephant, trumpeting his joy. He turned back into himself and wrapped his arms around Marinette. "I'm so happy! This is the best news I could have ever heard, Buginette. Now we have to move. I want our kid to have a backyard and a dog and a big driveway where I can teach them how to ride a bike and a pond where they can swim in the summer-"
Marinette cut Gar off with a kiss. "One thing at a time," she giggled.
"I think this will be the best decision we have ever made," declared Gar.
Marinette agreed. "I think that partial retirement will be good for us."
----------
This was bliss. The feeling of grass under Marinette’s bare feet as she walked back to the house from the lake, hand in hand with Gar. The sound of their daughter's laughter as she danced around them, catching fireflies. The taste of homemade apple pie and vanilla ice cream, eaten rebelliously early as Gar proclaimed, "Dessert before dinner!" The sight of the stars up above them, no light pollution to mask the beauty of the heavens. The sound of Gar's voice, whispering, "I love you, Buginette," into Marinette's ear. And as Marinette settled into her husband's arms, she knew for certain that retirement was the best decision she had ever made.
@maribatmarch-2k21
#maribat#garfield logan#marinette dupain-cheng#garmari#MaribatMarch2021#miraculous ladybug fic#my work
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The Wonder Woman: Earth One comics have such a disturbing and warped definition of feminism that they portray, it’s so inherently uncomfortable.
Feminism, but only for thin sexy, man-hating BDSM lesbians.
I thought the peak of it would be the unreasonable fatphobia displayed by the Amazons, like there weren’t any overweight people three thousand years ago and like somehow men are at fault for women being fat? (The precise word-choice of “grotesquely distorted” bodies at that was particularly disturbing.)
The whole Amazons hate men thing is a given, but the way in which the man hating and the treatment of women is portrayed is incredibly disturbing.
For one because of the fatphobia, because we’re only supportive of women who are thin and sexy and if they’re not thin then they are clearly flawed and not worth listening to or supporting. But on the other hand, if you’re thin and sexy, you will be supported - even if you are a literal Nazi.
Themyscira gets attacked by Nazis, led by a woman. They kill the men, but since she is a woman, they just... accept her into their ranks and make her an Amazon. Now you may argue that the Amazons themselves have no concept of Nazis; the thing is, the writers do though and it’s a definite choice.
Steve Trevor, a black man who got stranded there against his will and did not harm any Amazon, will be shunned and chased out solely based on the fact that he is a man - and Diana is banished for trying to help him.
But Paula is accepted in and even made an Amazon despite intentionally attacking Themyscira, solely based on the fact that she is a (thin) woman.
And while the Nazi thing stands to debate in-universe, Paula goes on an murders Hippolyta. She kills the queen. But is not punished for it. She gets to keep being an Amazon, even. She gets the chance at redemption for a second time, just because she’s a thin woman.
The consent issues and the way BDSM is treated also disturb me, because all Amazons are expected to be into wlw BDSM; if you don’t “submit to loving authority”, you don’t get to be an Amazon. Now, while I know Diana herself was created with the BDSM background, this forcible narrative that all Amazons are actually in BDSM relationships seems very shady, especially since they condemn any notion of straight BDSM - when thinking about how vile man’s world is, an image is conjured up of a woman kneeling at a man’s feet, wearing a collar and leash. But... that’s literally what all Amazons have going on; there are so many collars and leashes and Amazons being treated as a pet. It’s okay if it’s wlw though, but it is inherently vile if a woman does it with a man, because they associate that with coercion, while... it’s the Amazons who have the coercion going on, by treating any woman who does not want to submit as untrustworthy.
There is a difference between choosing to abandon men to be only among women and condemning all men but glorifying all women, because sometimes women - even the pretty thin ones! - are awful people.
There is a difference between consenting to a BDSM relationship and making submission a non-negotiable term of even just listening to someone or accepting their perspective, because... even people who aren’t into BDSM should be listened to...?
All I want is a good take on Wonder Woman that doesn’t treat the Amazons or Greek mythology like shit, how is that too much to ask? Granted, at least the art was incredibly pretty and this was not as fucked up as the New 52 run, but c’mon... Can’t you put writers at the head of a Wonder Woman series, who actually... give a damn about the Amazons as a concept and as individual characters and who is like at least wikipedia-levels familiar with Greek mythology...?
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“Wonder Woman 1984” review
“Nothing good is born from lies. And greatness is not what you think.” – Diana Prince
I was in complete awe of “Wonder Woman 1984” after I left the cinema, thinking about what an amazing story I had just watched! This film has so many things that I love in it: a superhero theme, an exciting plot, a powerful female lead, great actors, references to mythology and ancient civilizations, and mind-blowing visual effects.
I adore the character of Diana Prince (Wonder Woman); she is a true inspiration to me. Since she was a little girl, she dreamed of becoming great, of being a real warrior; but she didn’t want to use her power for evil, her goal was to protect others (“I will fight for those who cannot fight for themselves.”) and bring peace into the world. Diana is very strong, both physically and spiritually, she is very confident and self-reliant, but she’s also extremely compassionate and kind-hearted. Gal Gadot did an amazing job portraying this character, as well as Lilly Aspell who played young Diana.
It was also really great to see Chris Pine as Steve Trevor again, even for a while! Diana and Steve’s love story is so touching and heartfelt, though it turns out to be quite tragic too. But the fact that they support and love each other unconditionally really warms my heart. They are true soulmates.
(I just wish we could have seen more of Steve, he didn’t seem like a major character in this film, but I guess the focus was meant to be on other characters instead.)
Another actor whose performance in the film absolutely amazed me is Pedro Pascal! I can’t help admiring his acting skills and the fact that he portrays each character in such a unique way, considering how much they differ, from a badass bounty hunter (Din Djarin) in “The Mandalorian” to an extremely charismatic Maxwell Lord in “Wonder Woman 1984”. This time he played an antagonist, a person who started small but was able to rise to the top and become a successful businessman. However, what he had wasn’t enough for him, he was greedy for gain and this led to an enormous number of catastrophic events which nearly destroyed the whole world. He wasn’t all bad, though, because there was one person who he loved very much – his son. And in the end, when Maxwell Lord was able to realize what he had done and how much he had scared and hurt his own son, he renounced his wish to be almighty and just rushed out to make sure his son was okay. It was such a lovely moment that showed that Pedro Pascal’s character wasn't devoid of paternal instinct. Once more, I want to express my admiration for this actor, I believe he is truly outstanding and deserves a lot of praise.
I also want to say that Kristen Wiig was gorgeous in the role of Barbara Minerva (Cheetah)! Her character went from being a clumsy, insecure, socially awkward person to an absolutely attractive, strong, self-sufficient woman (like Diana). However, she chose the easy way to become this kind of person, and it cost her her kindness and humanity.
Finally, I’d like to talk about some moral lessons of this movie:
1. You can’t have it all. You can only have “the truth”.
At the beginning, we see little Diana participating in a multi stage athletic competition on Themyscira against older Amazons. She was really good, but she made a mistake and decided to take a shortcut, after which she was disqualified. She thought she was ready and wanted to prove herself, to prove that she was a warrior. But she still had a lot to learn and there were a lot of years of practice ahead of her, it had to take time before her dreams could finally come true. (“Diana, one day, you’ll become all that you dream of and more. Your time will come, Diana. And everything will be different.” – her mother Hippolyta.) And at the end we see Diana donning the armor of the legendary Amazon warrior Asteria, and it shows that now she is finally ready, now she is the hero the world so desperately needs.
And we can notice this mistake made by other characters: Barbara Minerva didn’t do much to become what she wanted to be, she wanted it to happen at once, as if by magic. And not to mention Maxwell Lord, whose ambitions knew no bounds.
2. Everything comes at a price.
This is a law of nature, there has to be balance in the world, which means you can only get something if you pay the price. The greater your wish, the more you have to pay. Those who made a wish and asked for something using a mysterious Dreamstone didn’t realize it at first and they later found out that it took their most cherished possession in return.
3. Be careful what you wish for.
Sometimes, what you want isn’t exactly what you need, and when you get it, you start to realize that it was much better the way it used to be, and now you have to deal with the problems your wish has caused. All you need to do is to think about what you really need at first.
To sum up, “Wonder Woman 1984” has definitely made a big impression on me and left me thinking about life, human nature and the way things are. It showed us that people aren’t really bad, we just have a lot to learn about our world, about others and about ourselves; we need to learn to be kind and compassionate, to accept other people, no matter how different they are from us, and to be happy for what we already have. There’s still hope for humanity.
This film turned out to be very interesting and gripping, I was on the edge of my seat while watching it and I loved every second of it. Thank you, Wonder Woman, for inspiring me and so many other girls (and boys) all over the world. ❤
#wonder woman#wonder woman 1984#ww 1984#diana prince#steve trevor#maxwell lord#barbara minerva#gal gadot#chris pine#pedro pascal#kristen wiig#film review
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Movies of 2021 - My Pre-Summer Favourites (Part 2)
The Top Ten:
10. ZACK SNYDER’S JUSTICE LEAGUE – one of the undisputable highlights of the Winter-Spring period has to be the long-awaited, much vaunted redressing of a balance that’s been a particular thorn in the side of DC cinematic fans for over three years now – the completion and restoration of the true, unadulterated original director’s cut of the painfully abortive DCEU team-up movie that was absolutely butchered when Joss Whedon took over from original director Zack Snyder and then heavily rewrote and largely reshot the whole thing. It was a somewhat painful experience to view in cinemas back in 2017 – sure, there were bits that worked, but most of it didn’t and it wasn’t like the underrated Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice, which improves immensely on subsequent viewings (especially in the three hour-long director’s cut). No, Whedon’s film was a MESS. Needless to say fans were up in arms, and once word got out that the finished film was not at all what Snyder originally intended, a vocal, forceful online campaign began to restore what quickly became known as the Snyder Cut. Thank the gods that Warner Bros listened to them, ultimately taking advantage of the intriguing alternative possibilities provided by their streaming service HBO Max to allow Snyder to present his fully reinstated creation in its entirety. The only remaining question, of course, is simply … is it actually any good? Well it’s certainly much more like BVS:DOG than Whedon’s film ever was, and there’s no denying that, much like the rest of Snyder’s oeuvre, this is a proper marmite movie – there are gonna people who hate it no matter what, but the faithful, the fans, or simply those who are willing to open their minds are going to find much to enjoy here. The damage has been thoroughly patched, most of the elements that didn’t work in the theatrical release having been swapped out or reworked so that now they pay off BEAUTIFULLY. This time the quest of Bruce Wayne/Batman (Ben Affleck) and Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) to bring the first iteration of the Justice League together – half-Atlantean superhuman Arthur Curry/the Aquaman (Jason Momoa), lightning-powered speedster Barry Allan/the Flash (Fantastic Beasts’ Ezra Miller) and cybernetically-rebuilt genius Victor Stone/Cyborg (relative newcomer Ray Fisher) – not only feels organic, but NECESSARY, as does their desperate scheme to use one of the three alien Mother Boxes (no longer just shiny McGuffins but now genuinely well-realised technological forces that threaten cataclysm as much as they provide opportunity for miracles) to bring Clark Kent/Superman (Henry Cavill) back from the dead, especially given the far more compelling threat of this version’s collection of villains. Ciaran Hinds’ mocapped monstrosity Steppenwolf is a far more palpable and interesting big bad this time round, given a more intricate backstory that also ties in a far greater ultimate mega-villain that would have become the DCEU’s Thanos had Snyder had his way to begin with – Darkseid (Ray Porter), tyrannical ruler of Apokolips and one of the most powerful and hated beings in the Universe, who could have ushered the DCEU’s now aborted New Gods storyline to the big screen. The newer members of the League receive far more screen-time and vastly improved backstory too, Miller’s Flash getting a far more pro-active role in the storyline AND the action which also thankfully cuts away a lot of the clumsiness the character had in the Whedon version without sacrificing any of the nerdy sass that nonetheless made him such a joy, while the connective tissue that ties Momoa’s Aquaman into his own subsequent standalone movie feels much stronger here, and his connection with his fellow League members feels less perfunctory too, but it’s Fisher’s Cyborg who TRULY reaps the benefits here, regaining a whole new key subplot and storyline that ties into a genuinely powerful tragic origin story, as well as a far more complicated and ultimately rewarding relationship with his scientist father, Silas Stone (the great Joe Morton). It’s also really nice to see Superman handled with the kind of skill we’d expect from the same director who did such a great job (fight me if you disagree) of bringing the character to life in two previous big screen instalments, as well as erasing the memory of that godawful digital moustache removal … similarly, it’s nice to see the new and returning supporting cast get more to do this time, from Morton and the ever-excellent J.K. Simmonds as fan favourite Gotham PD Commissioner Jim Gordon to Connie Nielsen as Diana’s mother, Queen Hippolyta of Themyscira and another unapologetic scene-stealing turn from Jeremy Irons as Batman’s faithful butler Alfred Pennyworth. Sure, it’s not a perfect movie – the unusual visual ratio takes some getting used to, while there’s A LOT of story to unpack here, and at a gargantuan FOUR HOURS there are times when the pacing somewhat lags, not to mention an overabundance of drawn-out endings (including a flash-forward to a potential apocalyptic future that, while evocative, smacks somewhat of overeager fan-service) that would put Lord of the Rings’ The Return of the King to shame, but original writer Chris Terrio’s reconstituted script is rich enough that there’s plenty to reward the more committed viewer, and the storytelling and character development is a powerful thing, while the action sequences are robust and thrilling (even if Snyder does keep falling back on his over-reliance on slow motion that seems to alienate some viewers), and the new score from Tom Holkenborg (who co-composed on BVS:DOJ) feels a far more natural successor than Danny Elfman’s theatrical compositions. The end result is no more likely to win fresh converts than Man of Steel or Batman Vs Superman, but it certainly stands up far better to a critical eye this time round, and feels like a far more natural progression for the saga too. Ultimately it’s more of an interesting tangential adventure given that Warner Bros seem to be stubbornly sticking to their original plans for the ongoing DCEU, but I can’t help hoping that they might have a change of heart in the future given just how much better the final product is than any of us had any right to expect …
9. SYNCHRONIC – writer-director duo Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead are something of a creative phenomenon in the science-fiction and fantasy indie cinema scene, crafting films that ensnare the senses and engage the brain like few others. Subtly insidious conspiracy horror debut Resolution is a sneaky little chiller, while deeply original body horror Spring (the film that first got me into them) is weird, unsettling and surprisingly touching, but it was breakthrough sleeper hit The Endless, a nightmarish time-looping cosmic horror that thoroughly screws with your head, that really put them on the map. Needless to say it’s led them to greater opportunities heading into the future, and this is their first film to really reap the benefits, particularly by snaring a couple of genuine stars for its lead roles. Steve (Anthony Mackie) and Dennis (Jamie Dornan) are paramedics working the night shift in New Orleans, which puts them on the frontlines when a new drug hits the streets, a dangerous concoction known as Synchronic that causes its users to experience weird localised fractures in time that frequently lead to some pretty outlandish deaths in adults, while teenage users often disappear entirely. As the situation worsens, the pair’s professional and personal relationships become increasingly strained, compounded by the fact that Steve is concealing his recent diagnosis of terminal cancer, before things come to a head when Dennis’ teenage daughter Brianna (Into the Badlands’ Ally Ioannides) vanishes under suspicious circumstances, and it becomes clear to Steve that she’s become unstuck in time … this is as mind-bendingly off-the-wall and spectacularly inventive as we’ve come to expect from Benson and Moorhead, another fantastically original slice of weirdness that benefits enormously from their exquisitely obsessive attention to detail and characteristically unsettling atmosphere of building dread, while their character development is second to none, benefitting their top-notch cast no end. Mackie is typically excellent, bringing compelling vulnerability to the role that makes it easy to root for him as he gets further out of his depth in this twisted temporal labyrinth, while Dornan invests Dennis with a painfully human fallibility, and Ioannides does a lot with very little real screen time in her key role as ill-fated Brianna. The time-bending sequences are suitably disorienting and disturbing, utilising pleasingly subtle use of visual effects to further mess with your head, and the overall mechanics of the drug and its effects are fiendishly crafted, while the directors tighten the screw of slowburn tension throughout, building to a suitably offbeat ending that’s as devastating as anything we’ve seen from them so far. Altogether this is another winning slice of genre-busting weirdness from a filmmaking duo who deserve continued success in the future, and I for one will be watching eagerly.
8. WITHOUT REMORSE – I’m a big fan of Tom Clancy, to me he was one of the ultimate escapist thriller writers, and whenever a new adaptation of one of his novels comes along I’m always front of the line to check it out. The Hunt For Red October is one of my favourite screen thrillers OF ALL TIME, while my very favourite Clancy adaptation EVER, the Jack Ryan TV series, is, in my opinion, one of the very best Original shows that Amazon have ever done. But up until now my VERY FAVOURITE Clancy creation, John Clark, has always remained in the background or simply absent entirely, putting in an appearance as a supporting character in only two of the movies, tantalising me with his presence but never more than a teaser. Well that’s all over now – after languishing in development hell since the mid-90s, the long-awaited adaptation of my favourite Clancy novel, the origin story of the top CIA black ops operative, has finally arrived, as well as a direct spin-off from distributor Amazon’s own Jack Ryan series. Michael B. Jordan plays John Kelly (basically Clark before he gained his more famous cover identity), a lethally efficient, highly decorated Navy SEAL whose life is turned upside down when a highly classified operation experiences deadly blowback as half of his team is assassinated in retaliation, while Kelly barely survives an attack in which his heavily pregnant wife is killed. With the higher-ups unwilling the muddy the waters while scrambling to control the damage, Kelly, driven by rage and grief, takes matters into his own hands, embarking on a violent personal crusade against the Russian operatives responsible, but as he digs deeper with the help of his former commanding officer, Lt. Commander Karen Greer (Queen & Slim’s Jodie Turner-Smith), and mid-level CIA hotshot Robert Ritter (Jamie Bell), it becomes clear that there’s a far more insidious conspiracy at work here … in the past the Clancy adaptations we’ve seen tend to be pretty tightly reined-in affairs, going for a PG-13 polish that maintains the intellectual fireworks but still tries to keep the violence clean and relatively family-friendly, but this was never going to be the case here – Clark has always been Jack Ryan’s dark shadow, Clancy’s righteous man without the moral restraint, and a PG-13 take never would have worked, so going for an unfettered R-rating is the right choice. Jordan’s Kelly/Clark is a blood-soaked force of nature, a feral dog let off the leash, bringing a brutal ferocity to the action that does the literary source proud, tempered by a wounded vulnerability that helps us to sympathise with the broken but still very human man behind the killer; Turner-Smith, meanwhile, regularly matches him in the physical stakes, jumping into the action with enthusiasm and looking damn fine doing it, but she also brings tight control and an air of pragmatic military professionalism that makes it easy to believe in her not only as an accomplished leader of fighting men but also as the daughter of Admiral Jim Greer, while Bell is arrogant and abrasive but ultimately still a good man as Ritter; Guy Pearce, meanwhile, brings his usual gravitas and quietly measured charisma to proceedings as US Secretary of Defence Thomas Clay, and Lauren London makes a suitably strong impression during her brief screen time to make her absence keenly felt as Kelly’s wife Pam. The action is intense, explosive and spectacularly executed, culminating in a particularly impressive drawn-out battle through a Russian apartment complex, while the labyrinthine plot is intricately crafted and unfolds with taut precision, but then the screenplay was co-written by Taylor Sheridan, who here reteams with Sicario 2 director Stefano Sollida, who’s also already proven to be a seasoned hand at this kind of thing, and the result is a tense, knuckle-whitening suspense thriller that pays magnificent tribute to the most compelling creation of one of the best authors in the genre. Amazon have signed up for more with already greenlit sequel Rainbow Six, and with this directly tied in with the Jack Ryan TV series too I can’t help holding out hope we just might get to see Jordan’s Clark backing John Krasinski’s Ryan up in the future …
7. RAYA & THE LAST DRAGON – with UK cinemas still closed I’ve had to live with seeing ALL the big stuff on my frustratingly small screen at home, but at least there’s been plenty of choice with so many of the big studios electing to either sell some of their languishing big projects to online vendors or simply release on their own streaming services. Thank the gods, then, for the House of Mouse following Warner Bros’ example and releasing their big stuff on Disney+ at the same time in those theatres that have reopened – this was one movie I was PARTICULARLY looking forward to, and if I’d had to wait and hope for the scheduled UK reopening to occur in mid-May I might have gone a little crazy watching everyone else lose it over something I still hadn’t seen. That said, it WOULD HAVE been worth the wait – coming across sort-of a bit like Disney’s long overdue response to Dreamworks’ AWESOME Kung Fu Panda franchise, this is a spellbinding adventure in a beautifully thought-out fantasy world heavily inspired by Southeast Asia and its rich, diverse cultures, bursting with red hot martial arts action and exotic Eastern mysticism and brought to life by a uniformly strong voice cast dominated by actors of Asian descent. It’s got a cracking premise, too – 500 years ago, the land of Kumandra was torn apart when a terrible supernatural force known as the Druun very nearly wiped out all life, only stopped by the sacrifice of the last dragons, who poured all their power and lifeforce into a mystical gem. But when the gem is broken and the pieces divided between the warring nations of Fang, Heart, Spine, Tail and Talon, the Druun return, prompting Raya (Star Wars’ Kelly Marie Tran), the fugitive princess of Heart, to embark on a quest to reunite the gem pieces and revive the legendary dragon Sisu in a desperate bid to vanquish the Druun once and for all. Moana director Don Hall teams up with Blindspotting helmer Carlos Lopez Estrada (making his debut in the big chair for Disney after helping develop Frozen), bringing to life a thoroughly inspired screenplay co-written by Crazy Rich Asians’ Adele Kim which is full to bursting with magnificent world-building, beautifully crafted characters and thrilling action, as well as the Disney prerequisites of playful humour and tons of heart and soul. Tran makes Raya an feisty and engaging heroine, tough, stubborn and a seriously kickass fighter, but with true warmth and compassion too, while Gemma Chan is icy cool but deep down ultimately kind of sweet as her bitter rival, Fang princess Namaari, and there’s strong support from Benedict Wong and Good Boys’ Izaac Wang as hard-but-soft Spine warrior Tong and youthful but charismatic Tail shrimp-boat captain Boun, two of the warm-hearted found family that Raya gathers on her travels. The true scene-stealer, however, is the always entertaining Awkwafina, bringing Sisu to life in wholly unexpected but thoroughly charming and utterly adorable fashion, a goofy, sassy and sweet-natured bundle of fun who grabs all the best laughs but also unswervingly champions the film’s core messages of peace, unity and acceptance in all things, something which Raya needs a lot of convincing to take to heart. Visually stunning, endlessly inventive, consistently thrilling and frequently laugh-out-loud funny, this is another solid gold winner once again proving that Disney can do this kind of stuff in their sleep, but it’s always most interesting when they really make the effort to create something truly special, and that’s just what they’ve done here. As far as I’m concerned, this is one of the studio’s finest animated features in a good long while, and thoroughly deserving of your praise and attention …
6. THE MITCHELLS VS THE MACHINES – so what piece of animation, you might be asking, could POSSIBLY have won over Raya as my animated feature of the year so far? After all, it would have to be something TRULY special … but then, remember Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse? Back in 2018, that blew me away SO MUCH that it very nearly became my top animated feature of THE PAST DECADE (only JUST losing out, ultimately, to Dreamworks’ unstoppable How to Train Your Dragon trilogy). When I heard its creators, the irrepressible double act of Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (The Lego Movie, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs), were going to be following that up with this anarchic screwball comedy adventure, I was VERY EXCITED INDEED, a fervour which was barely blunted when its release was, inevitably, indefinitely delayed thanks to the global pandemic, so when it finally released at the tail end of the Winter-Spring season I POUNCED. Thankfully my faith was thoroughly rewarded – this is an absolute riot from start to finish, a genuine cinematic gem I look forward to going back to for repeated viewings in the near future, just to soak up the awesomeness – it’s hilarious to a precision-crafted degree, brilliantly thought-out and SPECTACULARLY well-written by acclaimed Gravity Falls writer-director Mike Rianda (who also helms here), injecting the whole film with a gleefully unpredictable, irrepressibly irreverent streak of pure chaotic genius that makes it a affectionately endearing and utterly irresistible joyride from bonkers start to adorable finish. The central premise is pretty much as simple as the title suggests, the utterly dysfunctional family in question – father Rick (Danny McBride), born outdoorsman and utter technophobe, mother Linda (Maya Rudolph), much put-upon but unflappable even in the face of Armageddon, daughter Katie (Broad City co-creator Abbi Jacobson), tech-obsessed and growing increasingly estranged from her dad, and son Aaron (Rianda himself), a thoroughly ODD dinosaur nerd – become the world’s only hope after naïve tech mogul Mark Bowman (Eric Andre), founder of PAL Labs, inadvertently sets off a robot uprising. Cue a wild ride comedy of errors of EPIC proportions … this is just about the most fun I’ve had with a movie so far this year, an absolute riot throughout, but there’s far more to it than just a pile of big belly laughs, with the Mitchells all proving to be a lovable bunch of misfits who inspire just as much deep, heartfelt affection as they learn from their mistakes and finally overcome their differences, becoming a better, more loving family in the process, McBride and Jacobson particularly shining as they make our hearts swell and put a big lump in our throat even while they make us titter and guffaw, while the film has a fantastic larger than (virtual) life villain in PAL (Olivia Colman), the virtual assistant turned megalomaniacal machine intelligence spearheading this technological revolution. Much like its Spider-Man-shaped predecessor, this is also an absolutely STUNNING film, visually arresting and spectacularly inventive and bursting with neat ideas and some truly beautiful stylistic flair, frequently becoming a genuine work of cinematic art that’s as much a feast for the eyes as it is the intellect and, of course, the soul. Altogether then, this is definitely the year’s most downright GORGEOUS film so far, as well as UNDENIABLY its most FUN. Lord and Miller really have done it again.
5. P.G. PSYCHO GOREMAN – the year’s current undeniable top guilty pleasure has to be this fantastic weird, thoroughly over-the-top and completely OUT THERE black comedy cosmic horror that doesn’t so much riff on the works of HP Lovecraft as throw them in a blender, douse them with maple syrup and cayenne pepper and then hurl the sloppy results to the four winds. On paper it sounds like a family-friendly cutesy comedy take on Call of Cthulu et al, but trust me, this sure ain’t one for the kids – the latest indie horror offering from Steven Kostanski, co-creator of the likes of Manborg, Father’s Day and The Void, this is one of the weirdest movies I’ve seen in years, but it’s also one of the most gleefully funny, playing itself entirely for yucks (frequently LITERALLY). Mimi (Nita Josee-Hanna) and Luke (Owen Myre) are a two small-town Canadian kids who dig a big hole of their backyard, accidentally releasing the Arch-Duke of Nightmares (Matthew Ninaber and the voice of Steven Vlahos), an ancient, god-tier alien killing machine who’s been imprisoned for aeons in order to protect the universe from his brutal crusade of death and destruction. To their parents’ dismay, Mimi decides to keep him, renaming him Psycho Goreman (or “P.G.” for short) and attempting to curb his superpowered murderous impulses so she can have a new playmate. But the monster’s original captors, the Templars of the Planetary Alliance, have learned of his escape, sending their most powerful warrior, Pandora (Kristen McCulloch), to destroy him once and for all. Yup, this movie is just as loony tunes as it sounds – Kostanski injects the film with copious amounts of his own outlandish, OTT splatterpunk extremity, bringing us a riotous cavalcade of bizarrely twisted creatures and mutations (brought to life through some deliciously disgusting prosthetic effects work) and a series of wonderfully off-kilter (not to mention frequently off-COLOUR) darkly comic skits and escapades, while the sense of humour is pretty bonkers but also generously littered with nuggets of genuine sharply observed genius. The cast, although made up almost entirely of unknowns, is thoroughly game, and the kids particularly impress, especially Josee-Hanna, who plays Mimi like a flamboyant, mercurial miniature psychopath whose zinger-delivery is clipped, precise and downright hilarious throughout. There are messages of love conquering all and the power of family, both born and made, buried somewhere in there too, but ultimately this is just 90 minutes of wonderful weirdness that’s sure to melt your brain but still leave you with a big dumb green when it’s all over. Which is all we really want from a movie like this, right?
4. SPACE SWEEPERS – all throughout the pandemic and the interminable lockdowns, Netflix have been a consistent blessing to those of us who’ve been craving the kind of big budget blockbusters we have (largely) been unable to get at the cinema. Some of my top movies of 2020 were Netflix Originals, and they’ve continued the trend into 2021, having dropped some choice cuts on us over the past four months, with some REALLY impressive offerings still to come as we head into the summer season (roll on, Zack Snyder’s Army of the Dead!). In the meantime, my current Netflix favourite of the year so far is this phenomenal milestone of Korean cinema, lauded as the country’s first space blockbuster, which certainly went big instead of going home. Writer-director Jo Sung-hee (A Werewolf Boy, Phantom Detective) delivers big budget thrills and spills with a bombastic science-fiction adventure cast in the classic Star Wars mould, where action, emotion and fun characters count for more than an admittedly simplistic but still admirably archetypical and evocative plot – it’s 2092, and the Earth has become a toxic wasteland ruined by overpopulation and pollution, leading the wealthy to move into palatial orbital habitats in preparation for the impending colonisation of Mars, while the poor and downtrodden are packed into rotting ghetto satellites facing an uncertain future left behind to fend for themselves, and the UTS Corporation jealously guard the borders between rich and poor, presided over by seemingly benevolent but ultimately cruel sociopathic genius CEO James Sullivan (Richard Armitage). Eking out a living in-between are the space sweepers, freelance spaceship crews who risk life and limb by cleaning up dangerous space debris to prevent it from damaging satellites and orbital structures. The film focuses on the crew of sweeper vessel Victory, a ragtag quartet clearly inspired by the “heroes” of Cowboy Bebop – Captain Jang (The Handmaiden’s Kim Tae-ri), a hard-drinking ex-pirate with a mean streak and a dark past, ace pilot Kim Tae-ho (The Battleship Island’s Song Joong-ki), a former child-soldier with a particularly tragic backstory, mechanic Tiger Park (The Outlaws’ Jin Seon-Kyu), a gangster from Earth living in exile in orbit, and Bubs (a genuinely flawless mocapped performance from A Taxi Driver’s Yoo Hae-jin), a surplus military robot slumming it as a harpooner so she can earn enough for gender confirmation. They’re a fascinating bunch, a mercenary band who never think past their next paycheque, but there’s enough good in them that when redemption comes knocking – in the form of Kang Kot-nim (newcomer Park Ye-rin), a revolutionary prototype android in the form of a little girl who may hold the key to bio-technological ecological salvation – they find themselves answering the call in spite of their misgivings. The four leads are exceptional (as is their young charge), while Armitage makes for a cracking villain, delivering subtle, restrained menace by the bucketload every time he’s onscreen, and there’s excellent support from a fascinating multinational cast who perform in a refreshingly broad variety of languages. Jo delivers spectacularly on the action front, wrangling a blistering series of adrenaline-fuelled and explosive set-pieces that rival anything George Lucas or JJ Abrams have sprung on us this century, while the visual effects are nothing short of astounding, bringing this colourful, eclectic and dangerous universe to vibrant, terrifying life; indeed, the world-building here is exceptional, creating an environment you’ll feel sorely tempted to live in despite the pitfalls. Best of all, though, there’s tons of heart and soul, the fantastic found family dynamic at the story’s heart winning us over at every turn. Ultimately, while you might come for the thrills and spectacle, you’ll stay for these wonderful, adorable characters and their compelling tale. An undeniable triumph.
3. JUDAS & THE BLACK MESSIAH – I’m a little fascinated by the Black Panther Party, I find them to be one of the most intriguing elements of Black History in America, but outside of documentaries I’ve never really seen a feature film that’s truly done the movement justice, at least until now. It’s become a major talking point of the Awards Season, and it’s easy to see why – director Shaka King is a protégé of Spike Lee, and together with up-and-coming co-screenwriter Wil Berson he’s captured the fire and fervour of the Party and their firebrand struggle for racial liberation through force of arms, as well as a compelling portrait of one of their most important figures, Fred Hampton, the Chairman of the Illinois Chapter of the BPP and a powerful political activist who could have become the next Martin Luther King or Malcolm X. Get Out’s Daniel Kaluuya is magnificent in the role, effortlessly holding your attention in every scene with his laconic ease and deceptively friendly manner, barely hinting at the zealous fire blazing beneath the surface, but the film’s true focus is the man who brought him down, William O’Neal, a fellow Panther and FBI informant placed in the Chapter to infiltrate the movement and find a way for the US Government to bring down what they believed to be one of the country’s greatest internal threats. Lakeith Stanfield (Sorry to Bother You, Knives Out) delivers a suitably complex performance as O’Neal, perfectly embodying a very clever but also very desperate man walking a constant tightrope to maintain his cover in some decidedly wary company, but there’s never any real sense that he’s playing the villain, Stanfield largely garnering sympathy from the viewer as we’re shamelessly made to root for him, especially once he starts falling for the very ideals he’s trying to subvert – it’s a true star-making performance, and he even holds his own playing opposite Kaluuya himself. The rest of the cast are equally impressive, Dominique Fishback (Project Power, The Deuce) particularly holding our attention as Hampton’s fiancée and fellow Panther Akua Njeri, as does Jesse Plemmons as O’Neal’s idealistic but sympathetic FBI handler Roy Mitchell, while Martin Sheen is the film’s nominal villain in a chillingly potent turn as J. Edgar Hoover. This is an intense and thrilling film, powered by a tense atmosphere of pregnant urgency and righteous fury, but while there are a few grittily realistic set pieces, the majority of the fireworks on display are performance based, the cast giving their all and King wrestling a potent and emotionally resonant, inescapably timely history lesson that informs without ever slipping into preachy exposition, leaving an unshakable impression long after the credits have rolled. This doesn’t just earn all the award-winning kudos it gained, it deserved A LOT MORE recognition that it got, and if this were a purely critical rundown list I’d have to put it in the top spot. As it is I’m monumentally enamoured of this film, and I can’t sing its praises enough …
2. RUN, HIDE, FIGHT – the biggest surprise hit for me so far this year was this wicked little indie suspense thriller from writer-director Kyle Rankin (Night of the Living Deb), which snuck in under the radar but is garnering an impressive reputation as a future cult sleeper hit. Critics have been less kind, but the subject matter is a pretty thorny issue, and if handled the wrong way it could have been in very poor taste indeed. Thankfully Rankin has crafted a corker here, initially taking time to set the scene and welcome the players before throwing us headfirst into an unbelievably tense but also unsettlingly believable situation – a small town American high school becomes the setting for a fraught siege when a quartet of disturbed students take several of their classmates hostage at gunpoint, creating a social media storm in the process as they encourage the capture of the crisis on phone cameras. While the local police gather outside, the shooters discover another threat from within the school throwing spanners in the works – Zoe Hull (Alexa & Katie’s Isabel May), a seemingly nondescript girl who happens to be the daughter of former marine scout sniper Todd (Thomas Jane). She’s wound pretty tight after the harrowing death of her mother to cancer, fuelled by grief and conditioned by her father’s training, so she’s determined to get her friends and classmates out of this nightmare, no matter what. Okay, so the premise reads like Die Hard in a school, but this is a very different beast, played for gritty realism and shot with unshowy cinema-verité simplicity, Rankin cranking up the tension beautifully but refusing to play to his audience any more than strictly necessary, drip-feeding the thrills to maximum effect but delivering some harrowing action nonetheless. The cast are top-notch too, Jane delivering a typically subtle, nuanced turn while Treat Williams is likeably stoic as world-weary but dependable local Sherriff Tarsey, Rhada Mitchell intrigues as the matter-of-fact phantom of Zoe’s mum, Jennifer, that she’s concocted to help her through her mourning, Olly Sholotan is sweetly geeky as her best friend Lewis, and Eli Brown raises genuine goosebumps as an all-too-real teen psychopath in the role of terrorist ringleader Tristan Voy. The real beating heart and driving force of the film, though, is May, intense, barely restrained and all but vibrating with wounded fury, perfectly believable as the diminutive high school John McClane who defies expectations to become a genuine force to be reckoned with, as far as I’m concerned one of this year’s TOP female protagonists. Altogether this is a cracking little thriller, a precision-crafted little action gem that nonetheless raises some troubling questions and treats its subject matter with utmost care and respect, a film that’s destined for major cult classic status, and I can’t recommend it enough.
1. NOBODY – do you love the John Wick movies but you just wish they took themselves a bit less seriously? Well fear not, because Derek Kolstad has delivered fantastically on that score, the JW screenwriter mashing his original idea up with the basic premise of the Taken movies (former government spook/assassin turned unassuming family man is forced out of retirement and shit gets seriously trashed as a result) and injecting a big dollop of gallows humour. This time he’s teamed up with Ilya Naishuller, the stone-cold lunatic who directed the deliriously insane but also thoroughly brilliant Hardcore Henry, and the results are absolutely unbeatable, a pitch perfect jet black action comedy bursting with neat ideas, wonderfully offbeat characters and ingenious plot twists. Better Call Saul’s Bob Odenkirk is perfect casting as Hutch Mansell, the aforementioned ex-“Auditor”, a CIA hitman who grew weary of the lifestyle and quit to find some semblance of normality with his wife Becca (Connie Nielsen), with whom he’s had two kids. Ultimately, he seems to have “overcompensated”, and his life has stagnated, Hutch following a autopiloted day-to-day routine that’s left him increasingly unfulfilled … then fate intervenes and a series of impulsive choices see him falling back on his old ways while defending a young woman from drunken thugs on a late night bus ride. Problem is, said lowlifes work for the Russian Mob, specifically Yulian Kuznetsov (Leviathan’s Aleksei Serebryakov), a Bratva boss charged with guarding the Obshak, who must exact brutal vengeance in order to save face. Cue much bloody violence and entertaining chaos … Kolstad can do this sort of thing in his sleep, but his writing married with Naishuller’s singularly BONKERS vision means that the anarchy is dialled right up to eleven, while the gleefully dark sense of humour shot through makes the occasional surreality and bitingly satirical observation on offer all the more exquisite. Odenkirk is a low-key joy throughout, initially emasculated and pathetic but becoming more comfortable in his skin as he reconnects with his old self, while Serebryakov hams things up spectacularly, chewing the scenery with aplomb; Nielsen, meanwhile, brings her characteristic restrained classiness to proceedings, Christopher Lloyd and the RZA are clearly having the time of their lives as, respectively, Hutch’s retired FBI agent father David and fellow ex-spook half-brother Harry, and there’s a wonderfully game cameo from the incomparable Colin Salmon as Hutch’s former handler, the Barber. Altogether then, this is the perfect marriage of two fantastic worlds – an action-packed thrill ride as explosively impressive as John Wick, but also a wickedly subversive laugh riot every bit as blissfully inventive as Hardcore Henry, and undeniably THE BEST MOVIE I’ve seen so far this year. Sure, there’s some pretty heavyweight stuff set to (FINALLY) come out later this year, but this really will take some beating …
#movies 2021#zack snyder's justice league#synchronic#synchronic movie#without remorse#raya and the last dragon#the mitchells vs the machines#pg psycho goreman#psycho goreman#space sweepers#judas and the black messiah#run hide fight#nobody#nobody movie
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🎪 titans spoilers
Tim is too well mannered and smart to be associated with the titans they're a literal bunch of toddlers although donna felt like an old lady being called miss troy and ma'am (I'm 23 an I love being called ma'am my brains like who me I'm an adult cool) 😅 gar and tim are prob gonna bond over being the only titans capable of rational thought 😅 The train was quite cool tbh yo how long have people been on that train cuz that one lady looked very 1920s to me
HANK HALL YOU BEAUTIFUL PRECIOUS ANGEL I knew he wasn't gonna make it out of there but my dumb brain held out a smidge of hope Hank is always in protector mode and always concerned about saving the children he tries to help jason and boom dead he tries to help tim and oh no still dead dang it hank, when donna was like oh no dawns gotta be so upset and hanks like yeah she better be 😅 donna wanted to stay and had to leave and hank wanted to leave and had to stay 😢 donna and hank talking about jason and hes like that little fcker blew me up! I know he talked about revenge on jason and I do think that if he got back he would be focused on stopping jason but I also think over a little time he'd forgive him and they'd kinda be buddies again and he'd help him with the drug problem also hank should get to kick crane in the face cuz yeah. Of course hank be driving around the after life blasting living on a prayer and he manages to find a car and a hotel I'm so happy he's with his brother now tho they gonna be kickn ass in the after life hanks basically some type of afterlife guardian now so I'm taking that as he's literally an angel 👼
Maybe hank donna and tim all had the good luck to find each other because of the ritual thingy they were tryna do at themyscira oh my gosh rachel is too funny her idea of themyscira punishment was being made to fight a shark or getting thrown in a pit 😂 that lady tho was that hippolyta and she saying her daughter being dead and earlier donna said to hank it's not like I died stopping an asteriod I died at a carnival so am I connecting stuff that ain't there or did Diana get killed stopping an asteriod? Ahem DONNA WITH THAT SWORD THO why is she so cool can she have a sword on team titans pls now
Okay but honestly somebody please please please help bruce what the heck dick I get he's got a lot to deal with but he could contact bruce now and again and I dunno maybe make him aware that jason is not dead!!! I don't even know if bruce knows or not Although I do think it is interesting character wise that when he broke his no killing rule he ended up turning on himself I really hope they don't just blow past his grief like someone please maybe donna talk to bruce please I was sitting getting so annoyed like bruce spends his whole life as batman and trying to help gotham and save people and there's no one there to save him and then donna swoops in donna I love you
Hank trying to use the power of his imagination to produce a weapon and he ends up with nightwings wingdings 😅😅😅 that was so hilarious to me p.s for that ask game the other day you asked who my fav legends was it's Zari Tomaz (theres two zaris but I've just got a softer spot for the first one) 💕💕💕
also dc should do a really cool back and white noir movie and a scarecrow movie like the way they did that joker movie would be dope too (it would also be intensely cool if they did a dc black label psychoanalytical exploration of Dr Jonathan Crane leading into Scarecrow stories because honestly I think he's one of thier more frightening villians cuz yeah if joker comes to mess you up it won't be a fun time but at least whatever he does to you he's not going to achieve locking you inside your own mind and there's a chance batman or someone will save you but with scarecrow if he comes to mess you up there's a high chance that he'll screw your brain up that much that you literally get trapped in your own mind and like how is anyone gonna be able to get you out of that also the clinical medical-ness would be a touch extra frightening cuz he can mess up with precision whereas joker will wreck you anyway he can but he's not gonna be able to be so precise in what he's doing sorry for the rant but they have such cool characters and so much potential to do stuff with them like ahhh )
Omg I just realized I never replied to your previous titans ask ahhhh I am so sorry!!!! I love getting your asks!!!!
LMAO, u right, Tim IS waaayy too good and pure and smart for the titans ahahaha. Protect him ahhh. I would die for him omg, I absolutely LOVE how they are doing him and how Jay is portraying him omg its near perfect.
Ahahaha, thats so funny xD people called me Ma’am when I worked at Disney world and it always freaked me out xD Especially cause I look so much younger than I am xD It is nice but weird being considered an adult ahahaha
True, Gar and Tim are the only ones with braincells omg xD I feel like they will get along really well awwww.
Omg I thought that one lady on the train looked like she was from the 20’s too!
Right! Hank has grown on me sooo much, like I didn’t really like him 1st season, was indifferent 2nd season, and like him a lot this season. Oh my dumb butt def didn’t think/occur to me that he wouldn’t get out tbh xD I think it works out for his arc though, especially with him and OG kicking butt together there, that was so cute and sweet and perfect. Tho I do want resolution between him and jason but i guess that isn’t gonna happen :(
Huh, interesting about the Diana theory, I never thought of that but you right, I can see that/it makes sense!
Omg I couldn’t handle donna pulling a sword while hank got freaking Robin throw stars and nunchunks that he immediately got hit in the face with xD That was too freaking funny “I was defiantly NOT thinking about Grayson” xD lmaooooo
Dude, this Bruce is so freaking erratic omg. Gosh, I really hope Dick can help him and we get some father son bonding cause my gosh Bruce has me STRESSED this season omg, God bless Donna Troy. I truly thought he was gonna die there! Not even saying goodbye to Dick, smh!
Huh, Ive never heard of Zari Tomaz, Ill have to look her up!
BRO A BLACK AND WHITE SCARECROW MOVIE WOULD BE SO FREAKING GOOD OMGGGGGG. Pleasseeee DC! Gosh, I would KILL for a “psychoanalytical exploration of Dr Jonathan Crane leading into Scarecrow story”, omg, gosh that would be PERFECT! Crane is SUCH an underrated and underused villain! And omg dont apologize cause like same and i love seeing your analysis and rants!!
#batanon#titans spoilers#titans#titans s3#scarecrow#meredith thoughts#meredith gets an ask#ask#anon#long post
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Anyway, here’s my How To Fix WW84 in 42 scenes (or less) list:
BTW, this is a very long post. It is a whole movie :P
1. Delete the first scene with the Amazons and have the opening credits be over the 80s montage. I KNOW, but trust me.
2. Mall robbery scene goes normally, but like... less clunky. And there’s a bop playing in the background because it’s the 80s.
3. When Diana comes back, she’s wearing her armor underneath her jacket; have a shot of her hanging it up in her closet, and pieces of the Golden Armor are displayed nearby. She has dinner by herself, and looks lonely.
4. Diana meets Barbara, and it’s the same, but if she needs something “human”, how about she walks with a cane instead of being clumsy in heels because it may be 1984, but it’s also 2020 :P (also Rucka’s Rebirth run literally has her walking with a cane??) And a girlfriend
5. They bond over the FBI artifacts from the mall robbery, Barbara’s studying something that will be important on an expedition later (a map?), but it’s not like. Placement. It’s just buried in the list of things they’re looking at. Also Barbara is smart and also knows Latin and Diana is impressed.
6. They go to dinner (and there’s a bop playing in the background) and Barbara asks what made her get into archeology, and Diana is vague, and Diana asks what made her get into archeology, and Barbara is also vague, but says she’s always loved ancient civilizations and things. No one asks about anyone’s love life. :P
7. Diana walks Barbara home. Diana asks if she’s in pain (the cane), and she says no, and then it’s never mentioned again because it’s 2020. Also there are no drunk creeps, and no amiable homeless black guys, because… euuuurgh.
8. There’s a scene with another version of the map (or not a map), and a faceless somebody having a vague, Villainy conversation about it (and not Dr. Poison faceless, just... we don’t see their face, lol).
9. Barbara gets to work early and finds out she has to give a tour to Maxwell “The Oil Guy” Lord. This scene goes as normal, and he insists they both come tonight to the gala he’s hosting for the museum at his house. Diana thinks galas are stupid, but she plays along because she wants to keep Barbara away from Max she can tell Barbara wants to go she wants to protect Barbara.
10. Insert artistic shots of Diana’s office here. Basically ancient artifact porn. Show us the cool stuff, God.
11. Diana looks irritated/confused about something and is flipping through books (although computers did exist in 1984, right? Right?). Barbara comes in asking if Diana wants to go shopping for the gala, and Diana asks if she still has the FBI artifacts, and Barbara says yeah, why. Diana says she just wants to check something later, then they go shoe shoppingggggg
12. Diana does all the things the store attendant does. Dialogue, facial expressions, everything. Harold they’re lesbi—
13. Barbara asks if she wants to share a cab to the party, but Diana has to put out a wildfire or something, and says she’ll meet her there.
14. Action scene fire-putting out that somehow relates to a moment later in the movie. Diana can’t save a cat stuck in a tree
15. There’s a shot of Diana stepping out of the burning forest and looking out over the sea, and there are burning embers falling around her, and the sun is setting, and it’s beautiful dammit. And then she remembers she has a date, and she smells like a wildfire, and the music comes in because this was the best scene in the real movie.
15. Gala scene. Entrances and music are perfect, change nothing except man creeps are like… more subtle? And more insidious/Mr. Nice Guy, sure. Diana finds Barbara Ann, and she mentions that she hasn’t drunk/partied like this since college, because she’s a confident woman who can drink, dammit.
16. Pedro Pascal invites Barbara up for a drink, and Diana is prepared to come along uninvited, but there’s an invite for her, too.
17. The three main actors from this movie actually get to hang out together and bond like atoms because they have serious chemistry. Max is a bit of a douche at first, but he relaxes after a bit of goofing off. Diana asks him about the pictures on the wall of his son, and he says he’s the smartest boy in his school, and his goal every day is to make his son proud of him. Barbara Ann (who is slightly drunk) mentions that her father didn’t want her to become a scientist, and they swap horrible Dad stories for 45 seconds.
18. Diana’s Horrible Dad Story: “My mother never told me his name.”
19. Pedro Pascal mentions that he’s putting together a team for a dig (Apparently they dug up some stuff while he was looking for oil) and he wants Barbara Ann to lead the expedition.
20. Barbara Ann wants Diana in her team don’t we all. Pedro Pascal pretends to be surprised and delighted by this idea. There’s a shot of his happy face disappearing once the girls leave.
21. Diana goes to find the FBI artifact she’d been wondering about (it’s after the gala, so it’s dark in the museum), and it’s gone.
22. They fly to the dig, and everyone has their passports, and Kristen Wiig does not reprise her Bridesmaids airplane scene, but she can mention that it was nice of Max Lord to put them in first class. It’s also the 80s, so flying looks like whatever flying looked like in the 80s (more leg room? :P) Also, there’s a bop playing in the flying montage.
23. They get to the dig (in a helicopter), and a bunch of diverse people introduce themselves, because we have to have diversity somewhere in here, it’s 2020.
24. Barbara Ann gets to work, and Diana goes exploring because she’s the main character and doesn’t need to work. She sees a temple/palace further up the island, and it looks like there’s smoke coming out of the courtyard, but she’s called back for dinner before she can go see. The other people tell her the building is abandoned.
25. Diana goes later that night to see, and it is abandoned and there’s lots of animal bones lying around and weird symbols on the walls and it’s creepy AF. But there are other things (pottery?) that remind her of Themyscira, and there’s a flash of a memory from an Amazon feast, and she sees Antiope laughing with a group of Amazons because we need a Robin Wright cameo, and then a hard cut to—
26. Barbara Ann comes to find Diana sitting on the edge of the cliff looking over the ocean, and she asks if she’s jetlagged too, and she says no, just homesick. She tells Barbara Ann that she grew up on an island, and after she left, she spent years trying to move on and assimilate into the new world, but she kept finding things that reminded her of her homeland, and she finally accepted that she should be proud of who she is and where she’s from. Barbara Ann says she should never be ashamed of her true self and then they kiss
27. In the morning, there’s a dig montage, and a bop playing in the background. Diana pretends that heavy things are heavy. They find Diana’s golden helmet and other scraps of the golden armor and a bunch of other stuff so then it’s not conspicuous, and then there’s a tsunami/hurricane, and the rest of the crew dies or evacuates or something. It’s dramatic, and Diana and Barbara almost drown, except Diana is Wonder Woman.
28. The two of them end up heading up to the abandoned building for shelter, and it looks sturdy, and the animal bones are gone, which is weird, but it’s dry, so Diana tells Barbara Ann to sleep while she takes the first watch. Barbara Ann says this isn’t the worst night she’s spent on the job.
29. Diana falls asleep and has a dream of this building in its heyday, and there’s an Amazon feast, and Diana wanders through the dream looking sad, and Hippolyta stands up to give a toast and is shouting about their guest of honor, the Princess from—
30. And then Diana wakes up, Barbara Ann is gone, and it’s full daylight, and there’s no sign of the storm or their camp. Diana hears a sound and goes to investigate likes she’s in a horror movie or something, and it takes her to stairs that lead underground, and she realizes that the tunnels match the map from the FBI (this is too convenient, but whatever, this is the first draft okay :P).
31. Maxwell Lord is sitting on a folding chair (or a couch!) in the cave at the end of the tunnel, and he’s surrounded by animals in cages. Diana recognizes some of the animals from the bones she saw earlier, because why not. He says that he brought Diana and Barbara Ann here to settle some old scores. Diana thinks for a minute that he’s Ares or something, and he says not MY old scores.
32. And then Diana is attacked by a Cheetah (why not), and she’s not wearing her armor, but she can fight in her indiana jones outfit, and it’s kind of a lame fight (dark, realistic, no slow-mo), and she re-cages the animal pretty easily, and THEN she’s surrounded by the blurriness like she’s dreaming (bad, but it’s the first draft, okay), and Eva Green’s voice says some villainy things about is this how she treats her friends and she’s just like her mother—
33. And then Diana realizes that Barbara Ann is the Cheetah, and there’s a montage of her falling into Circe’s trap and being turned into a Cheetah, and then a scene of Pedro Pascal’s son being kidnapped while they’re on rich people vacation and being turned into a gerbil, and transformations of a bunch of explorers and warriors from over the years getting turned into animals (including Asteria), and then a scene of Circe being banished from the Amazons and not being allowed to return to (old) Themyscira.
34. Circe isn’t actually in the tunnel, but in the fog sequence, she talks to Diana through a mirror and occasionally morphs into Diana’s reflection, because she’s magic, and that’s creepy.
35. After the fog is over, and Diana’s wearing the Golden Armor because we need to sell toys, and then there’s ACTUAL fight with Cheetah, and a bop (Sebastian Böhm’s “Sweet Dreams are Made of This”) is playing in the background, and this time there are actual stakes because Diana doesn’t want to hurt her. And it’s like, the Cheetah and Wonder Woman fight from Rucka’s run, okay. Cheetah says this is her true self and to leave her alone, and Diana says no, this isn’t you.
36. Diana breaks Circe’s curse with true love’s kiss. Diana breaks Circe’s the curse with the lasso and a speech about love, and it turns out the Cheetah form is held back by the lasso, so Diana lets her keep it.
37. Pedro Pascal gets his son back and it actually makes sense for him to run out from the bushes. He apparently doesn’t remember anything about Circe.
38. A helicopter comes to get them, and Diana is uneasy, because there’s a third movie, but she leaves and there’s a bop playing, because this is the end of the second movie.
39. Diana adds the helmet and the rest of the armor to her collection in her closet.
40. Barbara Ann now has to tell the truth all the time because she’s wearing the lasso all the time. This is terrible, but the movie plays it off as amusing.
41. Diana promises to find help for Barbara Ann, and they kiss
42. I guess the mid credits scene with Asteria can still happen. She could clean up after herself though, lol. A possible end credits scene is Diana finding the lasso on her work desk and Barbara Ann’s desk cleared out, but that’s kind of a bitter ending, and the lesbian ending is nicer.
In the third movie, Diana tries to find Themyscira and Circe is the main villain and maybe Cheetah comes back. Boom.
#long post#See this is what I call a first draft#and then you scrub it 1000 times until it's a GREAT draft#and like something that will make sense on film and be enjoyable to watch#anyway I didn't have time to write today so I spent 2 hours writing this :P#funny how that happens#if you make it to the end let me know what you think!
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Wonder Woman 1984 review
Long, rambly, and spoilery. You’ve been warned.
I saw WW84. I had thoughts. Let's talk about it.
I want to preface with the fact that it's amazing that we have another female-led superhero film! I loved Patti Jenkins' work with the first Wonder Woman (and this one too) and I'm so glad she's back for this one. There's obviously a lot to pick through, but first, a couple reminders.
No film will ever be "perfect."
Not every film is made specifically for you.
It is okay to vibe or disvibe with something. But that does not make it trash.
Also, please, keep in mind, what I'm expressing are my opinions. I'm entitled to mine as you are entitled to yours. I hope you have a lovely time on the internet, and I hope you wish the same for everyone you interact with.
Oh, and spoilers obviously.
Okay, with all that out of the way, let's dig in.
My overall experience with the film is positive! I had a great time watching it, it got me emotional, and I definitely want to watch it again. That said, I don't think it's better than the first one (although that would have been quite a feat), and that's ok. It's a continuation of a story we've already started, and it doesn't need to outshine the first.
Okay, after all the hyping up and disclaiming I've done, let's dig into what I didn't like about the film.
Number one is pacing. The storyline felt very erratic to me? Part of that, I feel, is because we have three (four?) main characters, and we jump between them pretty abruptly.
Number two is the themes. Now I do like the themes of WW84 (truth and sacrifice), I just don't think they were worked into the film as cohesively as I would have liked?
Number three is perceived character changes to Diana. And really, some of this is kinda circumstantial, I just thought it deserved its own bullet point. You'll see what I mean.
So, on Pacing.
We jump between Diana (and Steve), Barbara, and Maxwell pretty frequently. And before I talk about that, I have to talk about my view on the characters.
a. Now, I love the Mandalorian, but I was not personally invested in Maxwell's arc at all. Again, this is my take, and I know people disagree. Many people feel like Pedro Pascal carried the film on his shoulders. That's cool. He's a great actor. I'm glad he was in it. I just kinda checked out of every scene he was in (when he wasn't with his kid) because I wasn't invested in him. He played a sleazeball on purpose, and it worked. I was sleazed. So the movie kinda dragged for me whenever the camera panned to him.
b. I loved the focus on Barbara. I don't know Cheetah from the comics, so this is from a movie-only perspective. But I know one of the criticisms of the first film was that Diana didn't really talk to women after she left Themyscira (even though there was a perfectly good villainess sitting right there for her to converse with and have morality debates/fights with! Even Steve Trevor got to talk to Dr Poison!), so I thought it was great that 1) they set up a villainess for her to fight and 2) it was a villainess that she knew, she had talked to, she had formed a relationship with. It honestly surprised me that Barbara was helpful for so long (bc I had seen the trailer and got spoiled that she would become a villain), but I love that she genuinely did want to help Diana, up until she hit her hard limit (giving up her powers). Now, that being said, the Nerd Girl Makeover has been done a thousand times. I knew what her vague trajectory would be from the second she appeared on screen with frizzy hair. I did like that her motivation was not solely "pretty people are mean to me, and I want revenge and/or for this hot guy to like me," but specifically, "I want to be like this really cool girl" and then "I don’t want to be like anyone else; I want to be the best/number one" for myself." But I felt like the absolute inattention that she was shown at the beginning and the absolute worship Diana and later Barbara would get was ... highly exaggerated? And I know this was another criticism of the first film, that yeah "Diana did so well in the real world because SHE'S HOT and that's actually not empowering to women" or something. But like. Watching that part made me uncomfortable instead of seen. Pandered to, instead of impacted. Showing how looks change how society treats you is important, but not to this caricaturized degree.
c. (and d?) And lastly, Diana and Steve. Or more accurately, Diana and Steve's soul or memories or ??? that has been transplanted into some random man's body with absolutely no one's consent (I don't believe that Diana "consented" when making the wish, because she didn't know 1. That it would even work or 2. HOW it would work.). So ... Yeah. The first problem with this (chronologically, not by importance) is that it's really unclear what's going on? Some rando is reciting Steve's lines from the first film, then all of a sudden he turns into Chris Pine? (Fun fact: my aunt actually recognized the actor from Hallmark 😂 Could you imagine being the guy who gets replaced by Chris Pine for half the movie? Like "yeah, I played Steve Trevor, but they had Chris Pine do all the important parts" 😂😂😂). So, Diana and Steve finally figure out that he's inhabiting some engineer's body because of the wish she made. And then they bang. Or do they bang before they figure it out? Either way, yikes 😬. Not a good look.
To be clear, the yikes part is that Steve is inhabiting Engineer Dude's body without their consent (without his own either tho so that part's not really his fault), but then he chooses to do things sexually with that body that Engineer Dude didn't consent to (because he's like, literally not home. Whether he's been subsumed into Chris Pine or taken out or dormant or whatever). Oh, and then like, probably doing death-defying stunts with his body is also yikes. I'm not really sure what the rules around body possession are. Cuz you know.
Anyway, that is a huge issue that is literally not addressed. At all.
Again, I think they may have been trying to address some criticisms from the first film about Diana "getting rid of the dreaded V-card so quickly in Wonder Woman and then pining after Chris Pine (lol) for the rest of her long life" and how that sets back female sexuality and stuff. Which I get. They actually lampshaded it in WW84, how Chris Pine wants her to move on because "the world deserves her." Which I know what they were going for in the scene, but I feel like they didn't flesh out the journey from Hippolyta's "the world doesn't deserve you Diana" to Steve's "the world deserves you (to date them)" enough. But I digress.
I'm gonna talk a little bit more about the possession and that "the world deserves/doesn't deserve you" line in my Themes section, but honestly? From the previews, I assumed that Chris Pine was revived from the dead via time travel or something. Body possession was NOT in the the trailers. I think the Dreamstone could have created a body for him out of nothing. Or like "time-traveled" him into the future. So like. Why didn't they? Why introduce body possession at all? So they could make fun of the dude's clothes?
Okay, back to the pacing part of the pacing section. These three (four?) characters have completely different things going on in their lives (I actually forgot to talk about Maxwell, but he wants to "be the best," and he's gonna do it by giving people what they think they want (maybe) and then taking from them whatever he wants. Yeah idk). And all three do interact at the beginning (brownie points) even if the attempted seduction of Barbara by Maxwell makes me want to throw up. But the themes aren't worked in as cohesively as I would have liked, and the tone changes were jarring, as the film switched between them all.
Another facet of the movie is that the Dreamstone is kind of a mystery. And that was a deliberate Choice™, not a mistake. We're guessing at what the rock is doing and how and why and by who and all that stuff, and that's on purpose, but that makes for a confusing experience. Their approach is to throw something confusing at you and then explain it later. Which is great for worldbuilding. But not always for the Movie-Watching Experience™. So to recap, we're switching tracks and characters with their own separate stories while also setting up several confusing plot points that take a while to unravel. This all contributes to the Experience™, good or bad.
Honestly, I wonder how much Covid affected this movie? My dad felt like a lot of scenes probably got cut for various reasons, and it probably affected the flow of the movie. If so, it could have affected thematic coherence, too. Speaking of...
So, Themes.
The themes that I got out of this film were Truth and Sacrifice. Maybe I missed some; I'm not an experienced Media Critic™. But these are the ones I noticed.
And actually, these themes are really strong. Universally applicable, and used in all three character arcs. It's just tied in a bit ... erratically?
So working backward, knowing that the Dreamstone is giving you a lie, you need to renounce your wish and accept the Truth™. This is echoed in Diana's flashback, where she needed to accept that she didn't win.
Working backward again, Sacrifice was a big part of the story for all three characters because Diana was willing to sacrifice her power to keep Steve, but he wanted her to sacrifice him so she could save the world. Barbara was willing to sacrifice her "humanity" or "empathy" or whatever she lost for the power and influence she got by emulating Diana, and she was unwilling to sacrifice that to save the world. Maxwell was willing to sacrifice time with his son to "become the best," but he did sacrifice that to save his son's life.
And then, full circle, he confessed to his son that he wasn't the best, he's actually a filthy liar. Which, yes, kudos for the themes, be honest with your children, but you can still sanitize it a bit. That speech alone would have traumatized the kid.
Speaking of speeches, Antiope's speech confused me in a similar way? Like, she stops Diana from "winning" the tournament after cheating, and goes on this weird rambly rant which goes from "accept that you're not a winner" to "cheating is bad and so is lying." Which yes, cheating is bad, but it's weird that she wouldn't have been disqualified at this point for not shooting that last target? Like, did she need to be tackled? Idk, I felt like they came up with the line they wanted Antiope to say first, and then just made her say it. (And also, in other stories, Diana would have been praised for being "clever" and "never giving up without a fight." So like, I needed a bit more preparation for which take they were going for, because the anti-cheating spiel felt jarring to me.)
And again, I wonder if this is a response to a criticism of this first film. (Warning: WW17 rant gearing up)
When Diana has her big motivational flashback during her fight with Ares, she thinks about Steve, this dude she just met a week ago, saying he loved her. When she could have been thinking about literally any of the women who had raised her. I personally think it would have been cool to hear some of Antiope's words at that point. Since they set up Hippolyta and Antiope to have conflicting ideas over whether Diana should fulfill her humanity-saving destiny, it might have been cool to see her saying something about humans and how they need her or how she should help them or something. They could even have done the whole thing with not being able to hear Steve's last words, but with Antiope since she dies earlier in the film and doesn't finish speaking. I also think it would have been cool for them to expand Hippolyta's earlier line about "They don't deserve you, Diana," here to like "They need you, Diana," or something. And then Steve's line in WW84 could have been something like "They're with you, Diana," or "They could get to know you, Diana," and her character arc could have been about actually living among society and maybe getting to know these humans that she's saved so many times (which they kind of alluded to when she and Barbara had their little date at the beginning of the film). But I digress.
So, yeah, I found both of these speeches to be ... Not great? Like I can tell what they're going for and how they tie into the themes, but they're so heavy-handed and they don't actually fit in too well to the moment they happen in. Like as soon as the speech starts, you realize that they started going meta on you. The character isn't really speaking to the other character, they're speaking to us, and they're telling us how this scene ties into the greater themes of the film.
Oh and they have this great quote from Antiope "greatness is not what you think" and then Maxwell's son wishes for him to be "great." And they do nothing with it :(
As promised, I want to talk about the body possession a little bit more. So again, one of the recurring themes is Truth™. Which is a great choice for Wonder Woman, what with her Lasso of Truth.
But it's tied in a bit haphazardly. They force it into a conversation about cheating in a flashback at the beginning of the film. And then they talk about how you need to accept the Truth™ in order to defeat the Dreamstone. I already talked about the cheating, and how the "accept that you're not a winner" was kind of a weird path to take to get your point across to a ten year old girl.
But the Dreamstone. Oh, the Dreamstone. I said before that the movie is a mystery. It shows you things but doesn't explain them. Well, this is a bit of a problem. Because they never actually explain that the Dreamstone is giving you lies. To my eyes, the Dreamstone is changing reality. Steve is back, Barbara is powerful, and Maxwell is doing whatever he wants with the powers of the Dreamstone. THIS DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A LIE TO ME. THERE IS NO "TRUTH" TO ACCEPT, JUST YOUR NEW REALITY. And that made the film less thematically strong (to my eyes, anyway. Other people probably picked up on stuff I didn't). But I feel like this might have been an easy fix? Like you already have Chris Pine in someone else's body (oh! So that's why they chose body possession! Because he's a Lie™! ... Still don't like it) I still think he should have manifested his own body or something but whatever. Barbara's appearance hardly changed at first. If they had people reacting to her as if she was hot when she really looked the same as she always does, then I would have bought your "but the Dreamstone only gives you lies." Instead, Barbara gained the power to walk in heels and then hotness and then the literal power of a God™ (a la Diana) which makes me think the Dreamstone is changing reality. Not bringing lies.
Oh, also, they could have had Diana's Lasso of Truth stop working for her. I thought that's what they were going for at first, but it turns out that Diana is just losing her powers. They also started with "the Dreamstone will give you what you want most," but then Maxwell started using it to clear traffic? Which by the way, is NOT an illusion. That is reality-bending.
There were just so many ways to make it obvious that "the Dreamstone is giving you lies," but they didn't use them. Or at the very least, they didn't commit. I felt like they used a little bit of "be careful what you wish for" (mostly on randos that Maxwell is duping), a little bit of "what are you willing to sacrifice," and a little of "you can have what you want, but it won't be real." All of which are valid ways to take a Dreamstone kind of story, but if they wanted to rely so heavily on Truth™ as the main theme, then I feel like more of the wishes should have been showcasing that. Instead, it felt like a jumble of all the kinds of messages we're used to seeing with Wish-Granting Objects, with no emphasis on specifically the "it's all a lie" part.
Ugh, I'm actually mad now, because I'm trying to think of a story I've heard where this magical thing is granting wishes but they're Explicitly Not Real. Like all the money gets turned back to leaves or whatever (kinda like Cinderella's pumpkin lol). Oh, Aladdin does this, too, because yeah Genie is granting wishes and changing reality, but not permanently? Like, almost all of the stuff he uses magic to do dissolves as soon as we're looking away from it or gets fixed by the end of the movie? And the film is very very clear on the fact that Aladdin is not factually a Prince.
But this film doesn't do that. They make it seem like the Dreamstone can change reality, then berate the characters for not Accepting the Truth™ about themselves. Maybe if they had made a bigger deal out of Steve coming back in someone else's body, it would have been 1) less confusing, 2) less icky (provided they don't do the sex in Engineer Dude's body), and 3) more thematically coherent.
Lastly, Diana's perceived character changes.
This one is probably the most subjective. Diana, as a character, in the first film was very morally grounded and motivated. The Diana in this film felt ... different. Again. Subjective. And also circumstantial.
Diana is still morally grounded in this film. But she's also willing to sacrifice the world to keep Steve Trevor around. Which feels like a jarring change from her characterization in the first film. She was so idealistic and optimistic in that first film, I couldn't imagine her making that choice. It just felt like such a tone change for her character. How did we go from "Who will I be if I stay?" to "Why, for once, can't I just have this one thing, Steve? ... I can't give you up. I can't. So I won't."
Also, her motivation in this film seemed to center around her loss of Steve Trevor and wanting him, and less around "save the world." Which, to be fair, I'm all for women being selfish in film. Give me women of all motivations and desires. I don't want Diana to be Perfect™. I just want her to be consistent. And I didn't think this characterization was as consistent as I expected. Was her life so terrible without Steve (even though they only knew each other for a short time)? Not to say this couldn't be a valid take on Diana (reminder: I haven't read any comics, so maybe it's not in character at all 🤷♀️), but if that's what they were going for, they should have developed the journey from naive idealist to jaded romantic more in order to justify this character change.
Also, the body possession thing. She's really okay with her boyfriend possessing somebody else's body. I did like the "All I See Is You" line, since it's romantic, but up until that point, we as viewers aren't really sure why Chris Pine and Hallmark Dude are both playing this guy. Then we find out in a romantic line that Chris Pine is just Wonder Woman's view of him. He still looks like Engineer Dude because he is Engineer Dude. At first, I thought that they used a different guy for the first meeting because Diana didn't recognize him. That this was her perception of him until she realized who it was. (I thought this was supported by Chris Pine's more rugged look in this film. But actually they were probably matching him to the body he was inhabiting, since the character really didn't look like himself). Leverage does a similar thing in the Rashomon Job. All the characters saw each other at the same event, but they didn't know each other back then, so they had different actors play their parts until it's slowly revealed that actually the random people at the event were the characters we know and love. It's great. Anyway, that's not what they're going for here, and the ambiguous framing along with Diana and Steve's chemistry is supposed to make you forget that he is possessing someone else’s body! Against their will! (Again, Steve and Diana didn't consent to the initial possession either, but they absolutely consented to what they did together. Engineer Dude did not.)
Yikes 😬
I will say, she didn't kill innocents this time. One of my critiques of the first movie was that she was so willing to kill Germans. And I get it, Nazis are usually an "acceptable" target in American media. But as a character, she believed that they were innocents who had been manipulated by Ares. And yet, she was slaughtering them en masse. But, in this movie, they're really careful to make sure that she's nonlethal.
And yeah, that's it.
Asteria was of course awesome. That bonus credit scene was 👌
I'm glad they got Linda Hemming back for costuming after the disaster of Justice League. Unfortunately, being set in the 80's, the outfits are not quite so modest as the first movie. But the important thing was the lack of male gaze in those shots.
The movie definitely hit me in my emotions. I cried three times: first during the tournament, watching the Amazon's being awesome. Then during Diana and Steve's fight, and when Steve convinced Diana to let him go. 😭
As I said, I definitely plan on rewatching. It makes me sad to see how much negative press that the movie is getting when it's one of so few female-led blockbusters. A lot of people are comparing it to the original or to the comics or TV show, when those are just not valuable comparisons. Comic books and TV shows are completely different mediums. And a successful sequel CONTINUES a story, instead of rehashing it. And also, not all films are created specifically for YOU. A lot of the 80's references went over my head, but that's ok. They weren't for me. I don't begrudge their existence just because I don't vibe with them.
Again, no film is perfect! I think I talked through a lot of its weaknesses pretty thoroughly, but I still think it's a strong film, and I want it to succeed.
Anyhoo, I hope you had fun watching the movie (even though it's not perfect) and I hope you had fun reading my commentary.
(Fun fact: I actually ran out of space in my notes app and had to stretch it across two notes)
#Wonder Woman#wonder woman 1984#ww84#wonder woman 1984 spoilers#wonder woman review#diana prince#steve trevor#barbara minerva#maxwell lord#pedro pascal#gal gadot#linda hemming#patti jenkins#consent#tw: consent#body possession#tw: body possession#did i get it all?#wow i didn't even mention the fact that they gave Diana the power to fly#yeah my dad was upset about that one#but i didn't know Diana couldn't fly#she's a god#she could do anything and i'd say#yup that checks out#i speak#i post#i watch things#i ramble in the tags#retag#as i was watching i was actually thinking about body possession in some other popular media that i'm into
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once upon a time i watched both justice leagues back to back
strictly speaking, i watched zack snyder’s justice league on saturday and i just finished joss whedon’s.
A LIST OF ALL ADDITIONS/DIFFERENCES IN THE JOSS WHEDON JUSTICE LEAGUE.
pray for me.
- terrible cgi mustache-less supes child iphone footage. have you ever fought a hippo?
- this batman intro with that guy from fight club to bait a parademon with fear? this whole concept that the parademons are just looking for scared people? not in the snyder movie.
- parademon explodes and leaves a mark of the three mother boxes (also completely new concept)
- the criminal is also the one who figures that superman being dead is the reason why they’re even here
- everybody knows segment about superman being dead, and everyone being fucking awful? racist guy, “i tried” homeless guy.
- wonder woman’s intro segment has been just obliterated. tiny snippets stitched together. and added that they’re doing this for alien reasons? had diana throw the bomb from the building.
- “i’m a believer” and then bracers smash. i feel like is a new line. and thats where the scene ends. no police, no checking people are okay, nothing else.
- bruce & arthur scene is also snippets stitched together. giving us a translation of the joke about bruce paying him. this whole added mural of arthur and the mother boxes is new as is pretty much the rest of the scene.
- alfred and bruce on the plane talking is new. mother boxes, barry allen knowledge and details about his dad and how hes in prison but barry says he’s innocent, what about diana? jokes about bruce being into diana. jokes about how she’s hot. victor is dead. one misses exploding wind up penguins.
- barry is signing in to see henry allen. barry uses his powers to be jokey and draws on an asshole guys face. sign in guard alerts bruce wayne and mocks the asshole guy.
- added in post dialogue from barry about how the investigation into his moms murder was botched.
- janitor at star labs apologizes “i never got to say, victor was a wonderful kid”
- this entire victor/silas scene is different. their story is completely changed. there is never any mention of victor’s mother. victor’s character is totally different. more aggressive and the whole thing is just. weird.
- 22 minutes in. themyscira finally appears. steppenwolf’s whole deal is more humanoid and like traditional human armor? obliterated into tiny snippets. only the few amazons who were in two pieces are shown. steppenwolf just easily breaks out of the cage and starts fighting the escaping amazons with his parademons.
- it seems like the amazons have no ability to fight them off. hippolyta does like zero fighting. added in lines about how when the unity happens they’ll all bow to steppenwolf and she will “love him. they all will.”
- lighting the warning fire, “listen to me diana” no explanation how she can shoot an arrow from themyscira to greece. jump cut to diana working to louvre. jump cut to “the fire at the shrine of the amazons.” “invasion.”
- aliens stole my husband “these aliens are going to ****ing probe him?!” segment
- lois at work, martha tells her she lost the farm, some guy asks lois for her source because he’s doing a story on the starlabs kidnapping thinks its political because those kids are always protesting, lois is doing fluff pieces about kitten grooming. martha says that clark said lois was going to bring home another pulitzer and she was the “thirstiest woman he ever met” …….”hungriest”
- victor is learning about his powers and has tapped into bruce’s cameras
- we’ve added in that some “noise” made the parademon “go crazy” when bruce was trying to catch it? he needs an edge against aliens so we’re trying to figure it out.
- this steppenwolf intro totally new, added that parademons are created by him? no mention of darkseid, bruce and diana walk and talk about mother boxes and steppenwolf. steppenwolf’s first retreat. swore that our alliances would crumble and the world would be covered by darkness and he’d return.
- bruce makes jokes. victor is just there. stalking them. like diana wouldn’t notice him 20 feet away from her.
- barry’s place we have added a… blackpink? music video? to the scene? why?
- barry makes more jokes. brunch. people are slow. even the same footage is cut differently. like super basic mid shots.
- this whole the computers get twitchy when they play footage of silas working on cyborg victor, new. talk to victor through the computer? new. diana is “old fashioned” and won’t talk to him if its not face to face. alfred says (off screen) “about time somebody did” after the line “it looks like you have a date”
- just realized that we’ve had cyborg in a hoodie and sweatpants this entire time. all of victor is once again, different. and just shitty. he’s angry and hates his powers.
- added alien shenanigans into the dumbass whose out on his fishing boat. aliens appear to have kryptonite? for….reasons? its now the aliens fault for this guy needing a rescue from aquaman. aquaman jokes.
- 44 minutes in, first thing about atlantis. steppenwolf just appears, whoops everyones ass including mera, who has not spoken. steppenwolf boom tubes out with the box. arthur checks in to make sure mera is alright because she “took a hell of a hit” the rest of their convo is snippets stitched together. arthur asks mera for “something” - the armor and ….5dent that willem dafoe gave him in the snyder version.
- whedon has added innocent “russians” who live in this chernobyl knockoff. parademons are flying everywhere. steppenwolf talks to the mother boxes and calls them Mother. we’re having our first look inside the reactor where he is placing the second mother box into that ya know. wall thing.
- “the kryptonian’s death has made everyone timid and they all stand alone” (men, amazons, atlanteans) all this steppenwolf dialogue is new and bad.
- we’ve added in that one of the witnesses to the kidnapped people is a little kid and they drew this batman looking thing. “world’s gone crazy, maybe he has too”
- victor is still in his hoodie combo and has come home to see that his dad is presumably kidnapped because his glasses are left
- the island where the kidnapped people are is “braxton island” and “gotham harbour” why these changes? i don’t know.
- did we do this camera shot of the tank coming in and everyone jumping off it onto the ground so we can see their asses? this feels distinctly whedon but i dont know.
- steppenwolf is just killing the kidnapped people if they dont tell him what he wants.
- added scene about barry being scared about things to bruce.
- we don’t go into this rescuing people with any plan at all. steppenwolf immediately recognizes that victor is made with a mother box. barry is just running people one at a time from the place they were just… out? victor is suddenly there (continuity error) added dialogue about steppenwolf’s axe being slick with the blood of diana’s sisters. they fight and he just knocks her down and tells his parademons to “finish her” bruce saves her with his tank thing and makes jokes. (RIDICULOUS)
bruce makes jokes.
- barry “saves diana” from falling debris (she would’ve been fine), and lands on her boobs, a classic joss whedon move. isn’t it funny.
- added steppenwolf dialogue about how the old gods died and therefore steppenwolf is better than diana. diana is a distraction, Mother is calling.
- more barry jokes. cyborg bails because the “change engine” is in danger. barry joke.
- added jokey scene with aquaman and batman.
- added scene about our “russian” family living in chernoybl. “who will come for them” daughter grabbed a can of raid.
- barry’s jokey entrance to the batcave. (i enjoy this scene) but it is still. whedon barry pretty different from snyder’s.
- hoodie cyborg gives the new history of man’s mother box (british found it in ww2, shelved it, brought to star labs after IT woke up when superman died, and THEN silas started dicking with it and used it on victor.) victor’s history is different. bruce is the one who comes up with raising superman. diana is against it. this whole scene is new and bad. diana calls him out on his guilt about being responsible for superman’s death. he turns around and says “what did steve trevor tell you that.” she pushes him and he calls her out with a very patronizing bullshit statement. this whole scene is new and on a badly done green screen.
- another new scene with bruce and alfred. energy gauntlet has been removed and its now a bluetooth speaker on a arm thing to make a warbly noise that scares the parademons.
- we detail bruce’s contingency plan. the team needs clark. yadda yadda.
- barry and cyborg’s conversation while digging up clark is totally different. cyborg is in his hoodie and an asshole who doesn’t care about anything. barry feels disrespectful about digging up clark. he tries to go for a fist bump which victor is not about and barry is like okay we’re not there yet….. “racially charged……” (WHY WHEDON WHY THIS)
- diana and bruce are on a crane? above star labs? for reasons? diana is only here for clark. and is pissed. we’re just walking into the ship in star labs. no concerns about anything else.
- we walk into the ship, the ship doesn’t have enough power to wake the box, barry is going to run fast and do it. we count down from five and thats it. clark is up in the skyline of the city and flies to the busted up monument. thats that entire ship scene.
- arthur freaks out that clark isn’t alright. barry jokes. cyborg’s armor is “stronger since the interface.” barry jokes.
- bruce shows up. he calls alfred for the “big gun” bad cgi clark speaks to bruce “i know you, you won’t let me live, you won’t let me die” “the world needs you” “but does it need you? tell me, do you bleed?” lois gets out of the limo???? an unknown backseat with alfred and runs to clark. comedy moment with bruce “oh yeah something is definitely bleeding”
- arthur has a tantrum in the bat cave. diana sharpens her blade. arthur and victor snip at each other. barry jokes about his blood sugar. diana tells victor he can find the boxes because they’re made of the same thing. bruce asks arthur if he can talk to fish again. and see if he can find out where the boxes are using the water. yes. seriously.
- bruce is all banged up and is going to deal with that but DIANA is there and as a woman obviously she can care for him. this whole scene is about diana apologizing for being pissed at bruce and not stepping up to be a leader. this scene is stupid.
- added scene with bad cgi about lois asking clark why he won’t come in the house and what was it like coming back from the dead “itchy.” and how she wasn’t strong and he would be very disappointed in her because she wasn’t “lois lane, dedicated reporter.” its okay because he’s “the idiot who left and he’s back now and he’s going to make everything right.” we had to put it into text that she called his mom. and that she has to send him away to help bruce with his fate of the world shit. “no dying, and i get the exclusive” “yes ma’am” bad cgi.
- back to not russia and our chernboyl. things look completely different from the other version. we’re praising the unity. praise “to the mother of horrors” its look is very dragon age inquisition red lyrium emprise du lion.
- we’ve figured out where this is happening. we’ve got a few hours until the world is going to be changed. we’ve figured out there are people living in not chernobyl. victor will be able to make a ship break the laws of physics and get them to not chernobyl in time. because cyborg powers.
- victor is just going to pull the boxes apart because that will cause them to feed on each other and that’s it. arthur jokes and hits on diana. he’s sitting on the lasso and oversharing.
- not chernobyl. batman just shoots his way through the barrier and shoots the tower creating the shield dome down. easy peasy. he crashes his batplane and drives out of the wreckage with his batmobile and starts playing his parademon attracting whoop whoops. alfred jokes about how they might not have thought the whoop whoop noise through.
- diana is going to lead them in to find steppenwolf.
- the family living in not chernobyl is now fleeing their house as purple red lyrium tentacles whoosh at them (this is apparently the form the unity takes its terraforming….in this version) suddenly there are other people for once and they’re all running to their old american trucks to flee.
- jokes. they save batman. “no mr wayne, this is the team.” gotta have a jeremy irons presence in this final fight i guess? more jokes. i can’t explain how there are SO MANY JOKES? this final fight? there is no seriousness to it. every other moment is a joke or a bit.
- alfred tells batman that the red lyrium is spreading for miles, civilians are moving east and they’re not going to make it. batman tells barry to go run and help them.
- steppenwolf rips victor in half. because he’s not worth touching mother. “she is power and we’re all too weak to see the truth.”
- clark shows up “he’s a fan of truth. but he’s also a big fan of justice.” punch to steppenwolf. bad cgi mustache removal. clark is going to help with the civilians, also he’s better and faster than the flash. barry makes jokes. clark comes back to deal with steppenwolf because diana and arthur obviously can’t handle it.
- victor needs superman’s help to pull the boxes apart. he’s still got a poorly cgi removed mustache. the boxes blow up. clark and victor get blown to the ground. they both make some jokes that are alright. diana says she works with children.
- steppenwolf is still alive. supes freezes his axe, diana swords it to pieces. steppenwolf is now afraid? so the parademons are going to tear him apart and eat him? maybe? they’re all getting boom tube’d out of there. superman has a badly removed mustache. helmet falls to the ground.
- THE ONLY GOOD PART. CYBORG SAYS BOOYEAH. snyder should’ve kept that.
- the motherboxes somehow changed all their red lyrium into crazy alien plant growth somehow…..making the not chernobyl an acceptable place to live.
- bruce wayne bought the bank scene. added joke.
- barry got his job at the crime lab, added good word from “a friend.”
- lois is at work and doing voice over writing a monologue about darkness and light and hope.
- silas and victor are at star labs and working on his cyborg shit.
- arthur is swimming.
- barry is running.
- diana is sticking around after stopping armed robbery and leaving them tied up with her lasso so they just tell the cops all they want to know?
- same supes walk off and chest reveal only blue suit and then we actually show him flying off.
- changed the post credit scene - its now about lex telling slade that superman and co. are putting together their little “league” and shouldn’t we have “a league of our own?”
THE END.
guys. i know four hours is a long time. but its fucking worth it. the parts of these added things that are worth it? so little.
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From Dust Returned
Summary: The war might no be over yet, but she knows what she must do. And she must do so quickly. As soon as Charlie, Sameer and Napi are with her, she looks at Napi in the eye and says, "I need to get to the Acheron river, as quickly as possible." Napi, who understand well enough, nods. "I will get you there." "Thank you," she's grateful for his help. "Why do you need to go there Diana?" It's Sameer who asks. "To get Steve back." Characters: Diana, Steve, Chief, Charlie, Sameer & Hades Words: 1874 Notes: For @wondertrevnet‘s WonderTrev Week. Day 7: Reunion.
Read @ AO3
Diana stands, watches at the sun rises on the horizon. Closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, her job is done, Ares is dead. But so is Steve.
The war might no be over yet, but she knows what she must do. And she must do so quickly. As soon as Charlie, Sameer and Napi are with her, she looks at Napi in the eye and says, "I need to get to the Acheron river, as quickly as possible."
Napi, who understands well enough, nods. "I will get you there."
"Thank you," she's grateful for his help.
"Why do you need to go there Diana?" It's Sameer who asks.
"To get Steve back." Her answer is simple and direct. Making both Sameer and Charlie's eyes widen in surprise. "But I must do so quickly."
They rest for the reminder of the day and the night, making for Greece on the following day. Diana pushes them to move as quickly as they can, they only have a certain amount of time to bring Steve back, she's not sure how long (for that is never told amongst the Amazons), but she knows that the sooner the appeal is done to Hades, the better.
She also hopes that Hades is alive, only he can grant Steve's return, should it please him.
But she also knows that she must follow some rituals, and nearly despairs when she is told that black rams are rare and not easy to find.
But she pushes on, she had to have hope that she will be able to bring Steve back. She has to believe she will be able.
"Are you sure this is possible Diana?" Charlie, ever the skeptic asks.
"My mother told me so. She would say the Gods could be move to help and us, perhaps if Hades is alive, he might be generous and give us Steve back."
Charlie doesn't respond, but she doesn't miss the uncertain look on his face. But she keeps her chin up and carries on.
They make to Greece after some weeks of travel. Diana's heart beats loud in her chest, what if she doesn't get the ram? What if Hades is dead? What if Hades denies her request?
But on their fifth day in Greece, they stumble on some rams, and Diana watches as a black one is among the rest. She feels her heart in her throat, "Give me a moment, I need to get the ram."
The men watch as she darts forward and catches the ram, slack jawed as she ties it up and brings it with her, "The black one Diana?" Sameer asks.
"Sacred to Hades," Diana replies. "I must observe the proper rites to enter the Underworld, and hopefully have some luck convincing Hades to return Steve."
They press forward until they reach the Acheron, Diana's nerves kick in and she excuses herself to change back into the clothes Steve bought for her in London.
She asks for some space and Napi, Charlie and Sameer back off from the river and from Diana, she proceeds with the ritual. Takes the now dead ram and looks at Napi, "Please, look after my things, I will return as soon as I can. With some luck, Steve with be with me."
Napi simply nods and Diana throws the ram at the river and then jumps in, follows as the ram floats and then begins to sink, darkness and cold surround her, the sounds of the river disappearing and she feels like she's going in deep.
The next thing she knows, she's at the banks of another river under a cave. The entrance of the Underworld. She walks until she finds a boat and the man who ferries it.
The man watches her as she approaches, "And who are you?" He asks.
"I am Diana, daughter of Hippolyta, Queen of Amazons of Themyscira. Daughter of Zeus."
At that, the man's eyebrows shot up, "Daughter of Zeus, eh? Well, I am Charon, the ferry man. And what brings you here?"
"I wish to speak with Hades."
"Do you have your coin, daughter of Zeus?"
She's a warrior, she always carries a coin or two with her at all times, so she reaches into one of the pockets and then lifts a golden coin, "I do."
"Then get in," Charon moves aside to let her into the ferry.
The ride is made in silence, only after she has crossed and is about to disembark does she give Charon the coin. Then runs, full speed forward. She doesn't know how she knows where to go, only that she must keep going. Doesn't stop until she reaches a palace and stops abruptly. There's a man standing at top of the steps.
Diana stops and makes a deep bow. The man acknowledges it and begins walking towards her, she remains in place.
"And what brings a daughter of Zeus to my real, I wonder," the man speaks once he is near her.
'Brave Diana, be brave,' she thinks. Out loud she says, "To beg for a boon."
"Ah," the man nods his head. "Tell me who you are, what is that you wish of me and we'll see if I can - or will - grant it."
"I am Diana of Themyscira, daughter of Hippolyta. I have come to beg for one soul, a man who I love and bravely gave his life to save millions of others."
The man says nothing, but narrows his eyes and Diana takes this chance to study the man, he is tall, handsome too. Tanned skin with olive green eyes and dark hair, well kept beard. Then he sighs, "As you might have guessed already, I am Hades. And as to your request..."
"I know I ask much without offering something in turn, but well, I do not know what you would want from me."
Hades laughs, "Child, you already did want I wanted. You killed Ares. The boy needed to die I'm afraid. And you did observed the rituals. So I might feel generous and grant you this soul. Now, what is this boy's name?"
"Steven Rockwell Trevor," she says, voice firm.
Hades summons a servant, "Find me Steven Rockwell Trevor." The servant vanishes, to do what he's been asked. Hades then turns to Diana, "Listen child, I grant you this boon as a thanks for avenging those who died at Ares' hands. But hear me well, I make sure you don't look back, else your boy will remain. You hear me? Do not look back until you are back on mortal's land."
Diana bows deeply, "You have my gratitude my King." She then hesitates to ask, but finds that her curiosity wins over her hesitation, "Did some Gods survived? When Ares attacked, I mean."
Hades looks at her, eyebrows raised, "Of course they did. They are probably hiding. Ares alone couldn't kill everyone, they probably ran the moment the attack started. They will probably go back now that Ares is dead."
She's about to respond when the servant reappears, "Steven Trevor is in the Elysian Fields my King."
"Take my niece there and then return," Hades turns and looks at Diana, "Remember child, no looking back until you're back on mortal land."
"Of course my King, thank you," she watches as Hades turns and returns to his palace, then she turns to the servant, "lead on please."
The servant dashes forward and she follows. Everything is a blur, her mind set only on getting Steve back. They only stop at the entrance, "I can't go further in Lady Diana, you must get your Steven Trevor yourself."
"Thank you," she says and walks into the fields. They're much more beautiful than Themyscira, but she supposed that virtuous souls deserve it. She begins wondering around, "Steve!" she calls for him as she looks everywhere.
It's a good while before she hears, "Diana?" out loud and she looks at the direction her name came from. Steve is standing there, in his uniform, looking quite worried. She rushes towards him.
"Oh Steve, I found you!" She says as she wraps her arms around him. He's solid, just as she is and she wants to weep, but doesn't.
"Did you died too?" Steve holds her strongly, voice quivering.
"No, I came to get you back."
"How?" Steve takes a step back and looks at Diana.
Her hands go and take a hold of his face, "Hades, my uncle, he's allowing me to take you back."
Steve turns and lays a gentle kiss on her hand, "Are you sure?"
"I am. Had he not allowed it, I wouldn't be here. We can go back, together."
"How?"
"We leave the Underworld by the same place I came, but I can't look back at all. Once we leave the Elysian Fields, if I look back, I loose you."
Steve nods, a serious look on his face, "Then I won't say anything at all until we're safe."
"Thank you, let's go." She takes a hold of his hand and squeezes.
They make their way back, slowly, Steve following Diana in silence, she struggling to not look back. But she can't afford to make a mistake and loose Steve. With every step they draw closer to the entrance. "We'll need to swim upstream Steve, can you do it?" She asks once she's reached the Acheron, fighting the urge to look back.
"Yes, I think I can."
"Then brace yourself, we're leaving."
They jump into the river and swim upwards. The waters are cold and dark, but the push forward. They don't know how much time it passes, but suddenly, Diana can see the water becoming clearer and clearer. They're close. Her heart races and she prays all goes well.
Then, she can see trees and knows the shoreline is close and without much more effort, she pushes forward once more and she comes up the surface. Night has fallen and everything is silent. Pulls herself out the river and still not looks back.
Then she hears, "Diana?"
"Steve, are you out of the river?"
"Yeah, I'm on the riverbed."
Only then she turns, Steve is standing there, a tentative smile on his face and tears cloud her vision. But she swallows them up and embraces Steve. Then tears fall, "I thought I'd lost you."
Steve gently sways her, "You got me Diana. I'm never going to leave you."
She cries, all the stress and worry finally coming to the surface, Steve simply does his best to comfort her. She says nothing until her tears have stopped, "You're back."
"I'm back, thanks to you." Steve whispers in her ear.
She holds him close, and feels as he embraces her just as hard, neither of them wanting to let go. This reunion is something she worked hard for, but now they have time together.
"I love you," she whispers. "Now we have more time."
"I love you too," he whispers back. "Thanks to you."
They remain in each other's arms, until they hear, "Steve?!"
She looks up and finds Sameer looking at them, looking quite pale. Steve lets go and says, "I'm back."
"We're back," she says and takes a hold of his hand, walking towards Sameer. "And we're here to stay."
#wondertrevweek2019#wondertrev#diana x steve#diana prince#steve trevor#charlie#sameer#chief#hades (greek mythology)#wonder woman fic#post canon fic#au: canon divergence
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for the meme: Phil Jimenez's Wonder Woman run or William Messner-Loebs' Wonder Woman run?
Ooh, that’s a tough one. As different as Jimenez and Messner-Loebs’ runs are, if there’s one thing they have in common it’s that their best work is inextricable from their worst.
Messner-Loebs gave us Artemis and brought the Themyscirans and Banas together as a people – but he did so through a story that ripped the Amazons from Diana’s life and turned Hippolyta into a shrieking harpy. He brought depth and complexity to Diana’s relationships with rogues like Circe and Cheetah, but his execution was often clunky and littered with dead weight like the White Magician and Mayfly. He started the modern trend of Wondy writers kicking to the curb everything that had gone before. And he gave us Taco Whiz, which had absolutely no business working as delightfully as it did.
Jimenez actually bucked the trend by not only retaining his predecessor’s supporting cast, but striving to knit together the disparate continuities, characters and (in some cases) characterisations of the previous decade. He re-established Themyscira as a core setting, cemented the place of the Bana and solidified Diana, Hippolyta, Donna, Cassie and Artemis as a Wonder-family. But his encyclopaedic knowledge of Wonder Woman was an impediment as much as it was a blessing, because he was undiscerning about it, determined to make every bit of canon fit when he should have been strategically pruning and course-correcting. (Case in point: Hippolyta, whose years of mischaracterisation he could have repaired, but instead made far worse.)
Visually, Jimenez has Messner-Loebs beat hands-down. His lovingly detailed artwork was a highlight of his run, whereas the art on Messner-Loebs’ was blobby and inconsistent for the first half and eye-bleeding nineties cheesecake for the second half.
In terms of the legacy each writer left, I’d argue Jimenez had the more lasting impact.
But in terms of which one I’d be more likely to re-read – honestly? Messner-Loebs.
While I appreciate Jimenez and what he was working towards, he’s a much better artist and plotter than he is a scripter, and I find his verbose dialogue and narration boxes a slog to get through. There are individual stories of his that I love and would happily reread – Gods of Gotham, A Day in the Life, The Witch and the Warrior – but the thought of revisiting Paradise Lost or the Skartaris arc just exhausts me. Whereas, for all its many flaws, uncomfortable elements and (at times) straight-up nonsense, there’s a lot of fun and enjoyable silliness to be found in Messner-Loebs’ run.
And honestly, where else are you going to find lines like this?
#comics talk#wonder woman#the image of ares at his most gigantic and menacing intoning the line 'AND I WILL BE THE CHEESE' never fails to make me giggle#renaroo
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