#them getting lost isn't so bad when they aren't hungry

[a-tale-of-legends]

Attempt number ??? Of trying to actually write down a detailed timeline of events for my arcs, and a small funny that I'm considering is Green's fear of bugs. Particularly when she was younger. I was writing down how long events would take and I thought " Green wants to stay in Viridian an extra day bc she's scared of bugs and doesn't want to go in Viridian Forest bc she knows it's filled with bugs" <- she wouldn't admit this out loud lol, Red points it out. Really, there isn't any point to stay in viridian city- the gyms closed, there would be pokemon to catch/ a league to ogle at, but ya know. They could always rest up in Pewter. After they went through Viridian Forest. But Red is a good friend, and despite his teasing, he stays with Green in Viridian for a day before heading into The Forest.

I think it would be a cute, Red looking out for Green like that. It would also give Blue time to get ahead lol.

.....neither Red or Green anticipated getting lost. So Viridian Forest takes a few days- but hey! Red gets his Pikachu and a cute lil caterpie. Green.....if suffering lmao.

[witchthewriter]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐀𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 ��𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, Valyrian blood (dragon rider), and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

idea from: @archer10.

a/n: This is pure headcanon; based on their personalities (that I've felt they're close to). And yes, I know there aren't facts about how dragons lay eggs/parent/act around younglings. But this is too cute. And dragons are very smart - I think more human than animal at times.

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ

𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐍:

・Much like his original rider, Aegon the Conquorer, I think Balerion would be a pretty good dragon-dad

・Very present and contributes to the upbringing of his lil ones

・HUGE compared to the hatchlings and is so careful about it

・Most likely mated with both Meraxes and Vhagar (if a male has to be involved???)

・Tears up when he's proud

・Knows that he might put too much pressure on his kids - but he refuses to bring them to the dragonpit, or any small enclosed area.

・It is known that dragons grow faster and larger when they have their freedom.

・The dragonpit is essentially stunting the dragons growth.

・Balerion is 100000% protective; even if his rider is there. He has his eyes on you, his current rider. Huffs when you get a bit too close.

・Especially if it's his first clutch.

・Feels bad about it but knows you understand. Dragon babies aren't like regular babies. They're very uncommon.

・When he has another lot of babies, he absolutely wants you involved as well. He realises that hatchlings aren't glass. And being around a trusted human can help their growth.

・You'd end up being parent no.3

𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐗𝐄𝐒:

・Gentle, loving and has said she has eyes in the back of her head

"But Mum that's impossible!"

"No it isn't, now go and play with your siblings"

・Wants to show off her babies to you, her rider, immediately.

"Look! We can have babies at the same time!" She says, and you just smile faintly at her. She truly is your best friend.

・Purrs at her nest, her big wing covering them so they're at their warmest.

・Completely allows you to come and sleep with them at night. It's one of the greatest experiences you've ever had. Four little dragons huddled around you, as you lay right next to Meraxes.

・Her wing like a shelter for the five of you.

・You could have sworn she was singing to help all of you sleep

𝐕𝐇𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐑:

・All her hatchlings turn out to be strong dragons

・But she only has one clutch and she's done, not raising anyone else

・Is a bit touchy if her rider (You) makes sudden movements around the younglings

・But you know her personality well. Very well. Similar to your own. You know when enough is enough.

・Hides them away for the first few months

・But still does her duty to you -

・However, every night she goes back to where she left them to find them all asleep. Little snores coming from the biggest baby.

・She huffs in delight. Upset that Balerion isn't here to see this. He would have loved these children.

・They little ones love you though. You'll bring them something to eat and then stroke their little bodies. They absolutely purr with delight.

𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐑:

・Single Mother

・Type of Mum who gets the car seat ready, the bag ready, hops in the car and feels like she forget something - yeah the kid

・The hatchlings get her tail and accidentally hit each other in the face

・So excited to show them how to fly, it brings her a lot of joy to show them the world.

・They have a special call if anyone gets lost; there's all different types. For example, if someone is in danger, if they're hungry, scared, by themselves etc.

・Very comfortable with you, her rider, interacting and playing with her little ones.

・Just don't take them away or anything...otherwise she cannot be held responsible for what she'll do next.

・Constantly makes happy chirping noises

・Licks them clean until they're old enough to fly with her to a waterfall

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐁𝐀𝐋:

・"Too Small To Eat"

・Then he grows attached; there was only one that hatched and he said 'shit now I have to protect you.'

・Growls when he's had enough of the youngling. At first the little one was frightened of the big black dragon, with vibrant eyes and fire the colour of wildfire

・But then the youngling understood what set off the old dragons moods, and what made them better.

・Rough relationship at the start

・But being alone starts to sound kinda shitty when he has a lil friend with him.

・If anyone or anything tried to hurt his youngling, he would tear them apart.

・Pretends he doesn't know, but whenever the hatchling gets tired of flying, he'll land on Can's back.

・Booped Can's nose once and than ran away and hide for like thirty minutes.

𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑:

・As the mount of Jahaerys, he and Alysanne's dragon, Silverwing, were practically married. (Jahaerys and Alysanne were married and had 14 children)

・Grumpy Dad Who Loves His Kids

・Huffs when they climb on him - an attack of the hatchlings, he pretends they're winning and then jumps up and shakes them all off.

・They definitely whine like, "aww daaaaad! we were wiinniinnggg!"

"Sorry, I have to go pee."

"Ew dad!"

"What! Like you don't pee. Little hypocrites." He says while trudging away. Tail swinging from side to side just in case a little one is there. He does love giving them a lil slap.

・Not one to push the younglings to their limits; he's probably the most accepting of his children out of the male dragons.

・Very very anxious when they were first learning how to fly, and he nearly died when they started flying long distances.

"Honey, I can't handle this. My heart-" Vermithor chokes out.

"Oh knock it off," Silverwing replies with a laugh.

𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆:

・MOTHER. PURE MOTHER.

・She has that energy of being a great Mum to me. Especially with her rider being Alysanne, who was an advocate for women in Westeros.

・It is canon that she and Vermithor were close, and in my eyes they were mates. Partners. Married <3

・So, I think around hatchlings she would be such a mother hen.

・Letting out little noises to let her babies know she's close.

・Would definitely do 'The Mum Face' when she's fed up. Doesn't snap unless the hatchlings try to hurt each other.

・The most present mother out of the bunch ...

・Kicks Vermithor awake in the mornings; 'they're your kids before the sun's in the sky'

・Panics when she doesn't know where everyone is

・ExtreMELY protective of her babies; I think she had a very clutches that never hatched and she felt the loss of them.

[wondersinwaynemanor]

that time when Jason and Damian worked together in "spoiling" Tim to make up for the "murder attempts" they did to their sleep-deprived brother.

Tim wakes up from his room: What the fu- I don't remember how I got here.

Tim sees Jason and Damian casually reading by the corner of his room.

Tim: What are you two doing in my room???

Damian: Drake's up. Told you he's alive.

Jason: Oh, thank fuck. I thought you died.

Tim: What are you guys...

Tim recalls a few events from last night.

Tim: What did you put in my coffee, Jason????

Jason: Not my formula. It's the brat's.

Damian crosses his arms, looking like a mini Bruce: I believe we deserve a thank you, Drake. Tt.

Tim: A thank you for drugging me???

Jason: You aren't sleeping, Timmy. And you're just as stubborn like the rest of this family, so it was the best option.

Damian: Agreed.

Tim groans: I knew I had a bad feeling. No one is fucking touching my coffee ever again!!!

as soon as Tim stands up from the bed, both Jason and Damian immediately goes to either side of him, holding both of his arms.

Tim: Um... What are you guys doing?

Jason: Making sure you're alright.

Damian: We're merely guiding you.

Tim: Guiding me to the bathroom? I don't recall getting injured from last night. Unless you also added a another formula for that.

Jason opens the door of the bathroom while Damian's tiny arm is around Tim's waist.

by the time Tim is done freshening up for the morning, Damian is still in his room.

Tim: Dami, honestly, what's going on-

Damian: It's the hour for breakfast, Drake. Come now.

Tim: But I'm not hungry-

Damian: No buts. *he goes behind Tim and pushes him towards the door*

Damian is pulling Tim's arm until they arrive at the kitchen.

Jason is wearing an apron and putting food on the table.

Tim smiles: Jay, you're cooking for everyone? That's actually nice of you.

Jason: For everyone? Nah, only for you, Timbers.

Damian: Sit, Drake. *he pats the seat beside the one he's sitting on*

Tim complies: So, when am I going to hear the joke? Dick, come out now! We get it, we're bonding. Bruce, you on this too? I know this is what you want!

Jason and Damian look at each other.

Jason: What the fuck are you talking about, Tim?

Damian: Don't be silly, Drake. Now let's eat.

Tim starts to eat: You should know you are both creeping me out. But this is great. Thank you, Jay.

Jason shrugs as he's eating too: It's nothing.

Dick and Bruce peer from the entrance of the kitchen.

Dick has a wide smile on his face: I didn't think they were gonna go through with this. Although, the sleeping antidote...

Bruce: Was over the top.

Dick: I mean, Timmy isn't good at the sleeping category, B. So, how long do you think they're gonna do this?

Bruce smiles lightly: They're both full of determination. It's hard knowing.

Later at night before patrol.

Tim screams from the changing rooms: JAY!!! DAMI!! I CAN'T CHANGE WITH YOU GUYS AROUND!!! ENOUGH OF THIS!!!

Nightwing and Batman already on their suits by the batcomputer.

Batman: You lost, Chum.

Nightwing: Aw man. Guess I underestimated my brothers. But I do admit, it's nice seeing them working it out.

Batman smiles lightly: It is.

and good luck to the criminals who would come across Red Robin tonight, thinking they can hurt him cus Red Hood and Robin are going to beat the shit out of them. together.

[brain-depositary]

Okay, here are Arcane spoilers for Act 2. I have thoughts on Viktor, as there's been a lot of back and forth over whether what we're seeing is really him or if he is being controlled by the hexcore/arcane. And people are missing the narrative explanations, which seem to make what happened really obvious. And the biggest sign of this is that Viktor has been hallucinating Sky the whole time. The man has clearly lost his marbles.

The show is very clear that Sky is not there physically, but she's also absolutely not there mentally, spiritually, magically, whathaveyou. Her ghost isn't in the hexcore or whatever. There's simply no way.

It's not that we know for sure there are no ghosts in the world of Arcane. It hasn't been proven one way or the other that they exist. All sorts of fantastical things exist in Arcane and maybe ghosts do, too. But we know Sky isn't one because it makes no narrative sense for her to be.

Thematically, all of Arcane has been about people handling grief and loss not just poorly, but destructively. Powder hallucinates the people she's lost as critical voices and behaves erratically and dangerously whenever they do. Both Vander and Silco twist Vi and Powder's mother's dreams of peace into more violence and oppression. Jayce can't deal with the loss of Viktor and uses the hexcore to save him which Viktor specifically told him to destroy. Caitlyn becomes a dictator after her mother's death and uses the ventilation system her mother created against the very people it was intended to help. Ambessa has gone on a rampage for her dead son who preferred bloodless subterfuge, and I have a feeling Singed's daughter would approve of all the things her father is trying to do to bring her back, had she ever had the chance to know.

But Viktor, after losing Sky and her dreams, just kind of gets her back, and fulfills them? Yeah, no, I'm calling bullshit. Viktor is not going to be the only one exempt from the Arcane pain train. This would be bad writing.

Sky isn't a ghost here. She's gone. The version of her in the hexcore is purely a product of Viktor's imagination. We don't see Sky a lot, but what little we do, she's different, much more confident. It's not her. Viktor is handling his loss badly, too, but his method of doing so is just wholesale denying that it happened. Sky isn't dead, she's right there. Her dreams aren't gone, they're perfectly within reach. It doesn't matter if he dies now because he's succeeded in his goals of helping people. The sick are healed, the hungry are fed. The commune is thriving. Everything is great.

With whatever power he gained from the hexcore, he's able to project this denial onto the real world, at least for a little while. Everything in his little bubble DOES seem great, but the cracks in the facade come early. When Salo talks to Jayce in the overflow chamber, Jayce's breath condenses, while Salo's does not, implying that he's not breathing. Also, Salo's turnover at the commune is disturbingly quick -- his original personality just does not seem to be there anymore, despite his insistence otherwise. The "no weapons" rule, while idealistic, cannot realistically be enforced -- as much as Viktor denied, reality was going to come crashing in and he was going to be unprepared for it, because he just decided he didn't have to be. Huck didn't even seem afraid at all denying a heavily armed warlord and her contingent entry without disarming first when literally his only character trait has been being cowardly. There's nothing in him anymore.

So, is Viktor being mind controlled, or is this the same Viktor we've known the whole time? Well, it's not really either. This is Viktor snapping and having a mental breakdown. This is Viktor's equivalent of Jinx's tea party at the end of season 1, except he has far more power to make it last longer, seem nicer, and drag far more people into it. Probably, the hexcore is taking advantage of Viktor's vision to build its hivemind, but the vision itself is all Viktor.

So, given all this, my prediction is: Viktor will be salvaged and revived by Singed. He will get a reality check, that Sky is really gone, that the people he healed are hollowed-out husks, that the peace he created was too fragile to last -- and he won't care, he will try to get it back by any means necessary, even if he doesn't have the arcane abilities or ability to completely deny reality that he used to have. And this will create a bitter person, similar to the character we know as the Machine Herald from League of Legends.

[sophieinwonderland]

Many Americans I have seen: *Says they are pro freedom and democracy.*

Also many Americans: *Votes for a guy who doesn't believe in democracy when he doesn't win, and who literally wants to be a dictator and has taken great measures (like what he did with supreme court) to ensure he becomes one.*

Maybe it's just me, but I, a non-American, can't comprehend the logic here lol...

Well, here is one thing that I can clear up. Republicans don't support democracy.

At least not over the past few elections.

You could see this most notably whenever the topic would come up of the electoral college. Democrats would point out the fundamental problems with the winner of the presidency being somebody who lost the popular vote by 3 million votes and how undemocratic it is. A popular response then became that America is not a democracy. That we are a "republic."

This is an incredibly stupid talking point because a republic is a representative democracy. The idea behind a republic is just that the people elect representatives to represent them rather than voting on legislation directly. It does not somehow make it anymore logical to have a president who was elected by a minority of the population.

But the anti-democracy talking points have been big with Republicans ever since the 2016 election.

To get more to the point... Rural Republicans feel threatened by the fact that the country's policies are being decided by large cities. They believe that because they occupy the most land, that they should be the ones in charge of the country rather than these concentrated areas with the densest population.

They view the very concept of democracy as tyranny of the majority. The irony being missed is that what they are actually supporting is a tyranny of the minority.

And let me say... I can understand where some of them are coming from. You come up to rural Oregon, for example, and one of the biggest issues is the logging industry regulations.

Oregon has been a logging state since forever. Heavy environmental regulations have destroyed countless jobs throughout the rural parts of the state. And these regulations haven't been coming from the places that are actually affected. They are coming from the big cities where forests aren't something you live near and around, but are a rare novelty you get to see when you travel.

I am not saying that environmental protections are bad. But the people who passed the environmental regulations didn't replace the jobs they destroyed with anything. If families in rural communities go hungry or lose their homes because logging restrictions destroyed their industries, that's not going to be a problem to anyone living in the city. They wouldn't even know about it, but if they did, they probably wouldn't care much.

So democracy, to Republicans, really just means that people who are living far away from them get to decide what happens to their communities.

But... Having pointed out some of the reasoning for why Republicans feel the way that they do, I also need to point out how much worse they actually are in this regard.

Their problem with the perceived tyranny of the majority isn't the tyranny. It's that the other guys get to be the tyrants.

Because while it is true that decisions made by people who aren't living in the areas affected can unintentionally be harmful to those areas... Much of the current Republican mentality is designed intentionally to hurt people and exert control.

When a Republican area needs disaster relief, this isn't a partisan issue. If part of the country is hurting, we mobilize and do what we can for them. But when people like Trump threaten to cut funding to fight wildfires in California and just let it burn, he is met with resounding applause from his base.

For as much as they claim to be against a tyranny of the majority... Republicans would happily cut off all disaster relief funding from liberal areas just out of pure spite.

As another example of conservative opinions on Democracy and freedom, you might look to this quote which they love to misattribute to Ben Franklin.

“Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to eat for dinner. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote”

That certainly sounds reasonable... until you spend more than a few seconds thinking about it.

If the lamb is the only one armed, then what is there to stop the lamb from imposing his will on others? For all the flaws democracy has... "liberty is using threats of violence to impose your will on the majority" sounds like the worst form of government. It's a military dictatorship.

There's also another version of the quote, one from the Los Angeles Times in 1992, that conservatives desperately need take a look at.

Democracy is not freedom. Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to eat for lunch. Freedom comes from the recognition of certain rights which may not be taken, not even by a 99% vote.

The point of this quote is that freedom requites acknowledgment that some rights need to be protected and are too important to leave up to the majority.

Freedom requires that those be preserved.

But Republicans aren't a party that care about freedom for anyone but themselves. Much of their platform is designed around taking rights from people. Especially from marginalized communities. Limiting the ability to vote, to marry, to have autonomy over your own body, even to use the bathroom of your choice!

This was a long post, but the TL;DR is this: Modern Republicans openly hate Democracy, and only pretend to support freedom while actively trying to strip people of their liberties.

[theirishwolfhound]

Bit of a rambling thing, so like fair warning I suppose. But these are topics that I would like to use in my stories one day, just so that I can figure out my own thoughts. There is more information at the bottom about why I am personally writing this, but consider this more of a self insert type of fic (but a lot of physical details are left ambiguous) for comfort. It has a lot of different thing from my own life.

Task Force 141 (Comfort Fic)- Are You Still There?

Content Warnings: Mental Health Related Issues (Disassociation/Derealization), Passive Suicidal Ideation, Hurt/Comfort

Written In First Person, Nickname: Cardinal, You can read this as a x Reader fic but it isn't intended that way

Joining the army was something I never wanted to do, but I had no choice. Between the lack of familial financial support to the increase of the general price of living, I had no choice. I don't even know why they would accept someone like me into the force. Perhaps they were like me. Desperate. In need of anything they could get their teeth and nails in. Willing for anything, or anyone that would approach with an offer. But now that I'm in it I can't really get out. A trap I willingly walked into like an animal that doesn't know any better. One who was hungry and tired of fighting everything so I chose to fight with a collective. It nearly broke me. But the pay is nice. So at least there's that. My bones and body ache every day. But the people I work with make it worth it. Right now however is a brief rest, no missions, no worries, no problems. At least that's what I think it should be, but my mind is too busy. There are too many thoughts in my head.

What if I didn't have to join up? I wouldn't be here, that's for sure. What if those pills back in secondary school had done the job? Then I wouldn't be here, but I'm not going to try it again. What if I took a bullet next mission? There's nothing I can do it it does, if it happens then it happens. What if I don't wake up in the morning? Preferable, but I have things I need to do tomorrow. Do my pets back home miss me? I hope so. Does my family miss me? Half of them do. All of these are valid thoughts, I think they are at least, and I can't help but to have them even as I sit with my friends in the common room. Two of them play cards together, one reads a book, and the other simply scrolls through his phone. But we're watching a movie at least, so there's noise. Looking at them, I realize that I'm lucky to have them. They're my friends after all. But I don't know what they're thinking, or if they feel the same way. If they feel trapped. ...if they feel real. Are they real? Counter question: am I real? Is this... all in my head? Arguably what is in my head and what is not? Should I reevaluate my decisions? ... My life? ...

Even now as I type this I can't tell if the men around me are actually there. If the phone in my hand is real. If these thoughts are my own. It's scary. To not trust your own mind that is. Life is scary in general. For example: never knowing if you're going to even wake up in the morning. But it's something I'm willing to accept. Something quick and painless. Sleep is the best way for sure. Would I wake up? Maybe. I don't have any underlying health problems as far as I know. Where would I wake up? Hopefully in my bed. What time line would I be in? One that I'm familiar with, I pray for that. Would I adapt if I woke up in a new body? God, I hope so. ... Would they miss me? ... I hope so.

I don't hear his voice when he talks to me, I can't even see who it is, I can only sit and remain transfixed on my notes app. If I ever have to go to therapy because it gets too bad I need something to show them, right? I can't tell if the pressure on my shoulder is real or not, if the way the couch dips next to me is actually there or if I'm still lost in the idea that maybe the world I'm in is all just a dream. That my friends aren't real and that I'm going to wake up in the next moment. It has to be real. It has to be. It feels real. But I don't.

"Are ye okay, Cardinal?"

Am I okay?

"Can you talk t' me?"

Can I?

"What's going on, mate?"

"...I don't know."

"'ad us worried there, mate."

"Yeah ye' was jus'... starin' off again., thought ye might start cryin' yer eyes did that glossy thing."

"Mhm, spaced out a good ten minutes ago."

"...you okay, mate?"

"Ah... sorry... and yeah. I guess I just have a lot on my mind."

Coming back to reality was a bit hard but with the grounding hand on my shoulder it made it easier, the same with the presence next to me. For a moment I could focus. But deep down I know it won't last, the next time I start to think, I'll spiral again. It's a scary thought. I can feel my eyes burning at the mere thought, but there's nothing I can do about it.

"What do you need, Cardinal?"

What do I need?

There's not much I want in life, not anymore. I had to give up my dreams and aspirations so that I could just live. I need basics, this I know... but I'm not hungry. There's a roof over my head. I don't need a drink yet, and I'm not tired.

What did I need?

"...I dunno." "Maybe some bubble tea?"

"Yeah? C'mon then. I'll drive."

"Shotgun!"

"Cardinal get's the middle seat."

"Mm, 'spose that works."

The hand on my shoulder shifts down to my arm, helping me to my feet before two of them wrap an arm around each shoulder so that we could begin to walk out of the common room. It could be real, it could be fake, but for right now... I know that I want it to be real... for my sake.

Part of me likes to think about the possibilities of not being myself, not really in the depression kind of way (i think i could be wrong) but like in the day dreaming kind of way.

Again it may be the mental illness but like constantly formulating these ideas in my head about myself or my OCs really keep me level headed.

I don't know what it is. But it's the only way I am able to not focus on burning out. Like one moment I could be the fucking Dragonborn fighting off Alduin (I'm actually walking through a supermarket trying to get groceries) or the next moment I'm on an undercover mission with the 141 giving me updates on my surroundings via the earpiece in my ear so that I can survive (its a headphone, I'm listening to music while working a job that is breaking my body down with each shift.)

It's like I don't exist but the people I want to be do.

I would give anything to just be in a different world for like a few hours. Whether it be Skyrim or where ever CoD takes place (don't actually send me to Britain) rather than where I am. I want to be without pain, or worry about work— I want to worry about dragons burning down my fucking house.

I should be happy in general, not only when I play DnD or get to just sit with my fiancé in relative silence (parallel play if you will).

I can't tell if this is disassociation or not. I don't think it's derealization but what would I know, y'know?

[neyswxrld]

weightless

Wrecker & Tech

summary: Wrecker and Tech meet in the afterlife.

warnings/vibe: it's not something that is all too sad i guess; there's an explosion, some clichés (the light in the darkness, force ghosts, you know the drill!)

words: ~1490

a/n: happy final bad batch eve! 🖤❤️🧡🖤

ok, hear me out - i don't want to fuel or believe in any theories before the final episode tomorrow. this is just for myself, for comforting and assuring myself that no matter what, everything will be okay eventually! of course, i absolutely hope nothing bad is going to happen, but for the case that wrecker dies ((and tech actually is dead)), i needed something to hold on to. and i'm sharing this because maybe someone finds some comfort in this one, too.

p.s.: english isn't my mother tongue, sorry for mistakes!

The last thing he sees is a bright fireball.

The last thing he feels is that burning heat all over his body.

The last thing he hears are Crosshair's frantic screams for him.

And then there's nothing.

Everything is quiet, peaceful.

There aren't any aches, or pain.

He isn't hungry, thirsty, too hot or too cold.

Everything feels content and for a short moment he thinks he's flying.

Floating around, weightless. Which is funny, because due to his mutations, he's always been the biggest of his brothers. And the heaviest. But he didn't mind, as long as he was able to protect them. Keep them safe.

He almost feels comforted by the nothingness surrounding him.

Everything seems balanced. Okay.

For the first time in a long while, he doesn't even feel scared. Just... indifferent. Good indifferent.

But suddenly there's that small light in the distance.

It's almost sparkling, whirling around, and he almost feels like it's calling for him.

Slowly, he starts to float towards the light.

It seems to be warm and bright, a huge contrast to this foreign quietness surrounding him, but it's not unwelcome.

It kinda... feels like home. Like he needs to go to that light. He needs to touch it. Feel its warmth, its energy.

Carefully, he reaches for the light.

The warmth emitted from the ball suddenly swarms through his body, reaching every inch, every hair, every scar. Inside and outside.

It's so good... It feels so good. Like he has to be here.

The longer he touches the light, the brighter it gets, filling up all the surrounding space.

He has to close his eyes, the light is getting too much, and... and-

When Wrecker opens his eyes for the next time, he looks into the googled face of his brother.

This one looks down at him with a confused frown plastered across his face.

He looks... Just like on the day they lost him.

"Tech?" he asks, confused, worried.

Why is he here? Is he dreaming? Tech was... Tech is... Tech is dead. How could this be?

"Wrecker," Tech says, adjusting his goggles.

"What's goin' on?" he asks, groaning slightly as he sits up.

But it's more a reflex. Nothing... hurts. He feels fine.

"How long was I out? Has to be for a long time, I feel good, nothin' hurts. At all," he raises his arms over his head, stretching, "I- I dreamed you died. Stupid plan 99, should've never came up with that, you'd never leave us like that, right, Tech? Wouldn't just... do that," Wrecker rambles and scratches his neck with his hand, looking up to Tech.

His older brother looks at him with a weird look on his face.

"I indeed executed plan 99. It was the only way out for the majority of the squad. I kept you safe," Tech says, pulling his lips into a straight line.

"W-What?" Wrecker asks confused, before shaking his head.

For the first time, he looks around and sees some sort of space shuttle. Maybe Phees ship? Or was it the one Rex arrived with? He had no idea.

"What can you remember?" Tech asks next, shuffling on his feet a bit.

He stands in front of the bunk Wrecker lays in. The rest of the room was empty, quiet. He could hear some muffled voices outside the room, but he couldn't make out any words.

"We were going in on Tantiss. There was this massive animal kicking my ass. Hurt like hell... But I still made it. I'm not made of sugar, right? Then...," Wrecker stops for a second, thinking about everything. His memory starts to get sloppy.

"Just remember meeting Omega somewhere. She freed that zillo beast. It was huge! And then... There's something about an explosion. Crosshair almost got caught in it. I shielded him, I think," Wrecker murmurs and takes another deep breath as the memory of that burning pain around his body catches up with his brain.

But that's all - just a memory... Nothing hurts for real.

"Is he safe? Are the others? Where are they? Why are you here? Tech, I'm really confused right now," Wrecker shakes his head and looks up at his older brother again.

Tech swallows before nodding.

"They made it out fine, Wrecker," Tech assures him, before swallowing for a second time.

Why is he acting so weird?

"Great!" Wrecker exclaims, at the same as Tech says, "But you didn't."

They look at each other, keeping quiet for a while.

"I didn't?" He asks, "What do you mean by that?"

"You blew up, Wrecker. I think... you died," Tech states.

"I'm dead?" he echoes, before adding, "You think?"

"It appears that the explosion you shielded Crosshair from was a lot heavier than anticipated. While you saved Crosshair's life, you... you lost yours," Tech explains, breaking the news to him.

Wrecker looks at him for a few seconds, speechless.

That would explain why there isn't any pain. Or why he's able to talk to Tech.

They're both dead.

"I-I don't... Where are we? Why are we here?" is the next thing he wants to know, not fully able to understand how he should approach this new... situation. Everything's so strange.

"Currently, we are on a shuttle with the others. I dragged you up here. It appears that we are some kind of ghosts. At least we're in a state after life, which takes part in either some kind of parallel universe or in a temporal upheaval. I am not certain about that," Tech says, adjusting his goggles again.

Wrecker looks at him with raised brows, a huge question mark forming in his head. "You don't know?"

"In all that time I've been here, I wasn't able to fully conclude the whole extent of this... situation. But I've met some other clones, following their loved ones around in this state. So I assume it's a part of life, or, more precisely, the afterlife," his older brother sighs a little.

Wrecker pulls his feet over the edge of the bunk so he's fully sitting now, holding his head in his hands.

"Can the others see us?" Wrecker asks and Tech looks at him like he just lost his head.

"Of course not."

Wrecker feels like he just lost his head.

"It takes time getting used to. I'll leave you alone so you can think about it," Tech says.

Wrecker thinks he still acts a little odd. Not like the Tech he used to know. Not like the Tech that... was alive.

Tech seems to be honest about the fact that it takes some time to get used to the new situation. Wrecker isn't sure if his brother even got used to it by now. Not with how he's acting. And now... He's here, too.

"Tech," Wrecker starts and reaches for his brothers' wrist, gently laying his fingers around it and pulling him towards him.

"I-I don't want to be alone. Can you stay?" he says and moves to the side a little.

Tech nods and carefully sits down, unusually close to him.

"Have you been alone the whole time since..?" he wants to know, but Tech just shrugs.

"I was following the squad around," Tech murmurs and sinks into Wrecker's side as he lays an arm around him.

They haven't 'cuddled' like that in so, so many years.

"But now you have me," Wrecker whispers almost. He doesn't know if he's glad or sad about it.

Sure, he saved Crosshairs life. He helped his brothers. He had Tech again. But he'll miss the others. So, so much.

Tech has had to go through those first steps alone. He must have been so lost in the beginning. So lonely.

"Are we going to see the others again when they... When they die?" he wants to know after some time.

"That seems to be very likely," Tech answers, and Wrecker nods again.

That means he could still watch over them, be with them, and meet them again. And now, neither him or Tech, or the others will be alone for a while. Hopefully.

They freed Omega, they made a run for their lives.

They lost brothers, gained friends and family.

They settled down on a remote planet.

Quiet and peaceful.

They made a life for themselves, far, far away from the empire and all the evil in the world.

They saw Omega grow up.

They saw the others growing old.

They saw the others live the life they never had the chance to. And they were happy for them.

When Hunter joined them one day, they welcomed him with warm hugs and reassurances that everything would be fine.

As soon as Crosshair was with them, they almost felt complete once more.

When they followed Omega to Rex and his remaining brothers, they met Echo again.

Together, they kept watching over their baby sister, never forgetting their promises of staying with her.

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST

@isthereanechoinhere96 @trixie2023 @freesia-writes

[dairy-farmer]

Okay but re-reading the Ra's part of the Timeloop ask I sent? And the part you wrote? Oh... On No(tm) this man's out here dead set on being a BAD Idea Boyfriend.

Gonna seduce Timothy with his cock. KNOWS he has absolutely no chance of convincing him to Join Him with the usual flowers, dancing, and casual dating approaches for romance... soooo.... Wanna See Him Naked, Detective? *evil sexy eyebrow quirk* *is shirtless and on a throne Just Cause doing his best Slutty wide legged gonna conquer everything sit*

Like? Come on~ make a TERRIBLE life choice. Give him ONE(1!) Chance to rock your world so hard it ruins you forever. He has a multi-step plan. He just needs to pump your guts so good you permanently associate the concept of pleasure with HIM. THEN? You'll feel compelled to return..

It's always "just one more time", isn't it? Detective. Always "this is the LAST time". Stubborn, proud men like Timothy are so WEAK to pleasure, aren't they~? Pain they can handle. But pleasure? That addicts them.

He just needs an opening. Just ONE misstep. A low moment. Some time when Timothy's hunger for warmth outways his rightful caution of Ra's. And? All things are inevitable, if you are patient enough. Especially if you tilt the odds by hand.

Maybe he shows off the goods. Is shirtless more often then he has been in years. Low cut poet shirts and impressive capes. Tight, tight pants. Oh isn't it DISTRACTING, Detective? You aren't having THOUGHTS you won't admit too, aaaare you? Eyes CERTAINLY aren't lingering a bit too long~

Ra's has done this before and he'll do it again. CENTURIES is a word people keep using but honestly, they DO so fail to grasp what that MEANS. He has seduced THOUSANDS. And he's not even that hedonistic. He could have had far more.

He's faced off against genuine Femme Fatales. Homme Fatales. Battles of seduction and wit, daggers and poisons. Death in the night. Beautiful silks stained forever with the blood of their masters. He has nearly died more then once and come out stronger for it.

And? Like when the Bat was lost in time. Eventually his Detective WILL have to be in relatively close quarters with him again. Just close ENOUGH. The last time, he thought him cisgendered. Didn't realize his OPTIONS. Now? Now Ra's wants an HEIR out of him. Preferably a legion. They would be glorious.

But to GET that... first he needs to SEDUCE the Detective. Can't put offspring in a womb you haven't fucked. He ramps up his petty bullshit. TARGETED petty bullshit that will require Tim, specifically, too fix. He sword fights shirtless. Makes sure to subtly oil up a bit first. One MUST take care of their skin of course. It has NOTHING to do with the fact it will both perfume the air AND catch the light, drawing Timothy's attention to his muscles as they fight. Of course not.

Perish the THOUGHT, Detective~

And it eventually works. Because of course it does. Tim is stressed. Horny. Stressed AND horny. His life has gone to shit AGAIN. Everyone is fighting AGAIN. Everything hurts mentally, emotionally, and physically. And fuckin' Ra's is there... once AGAIN swanning around topless. All rippling abs and deep rumbling purr. Threats and word play. Posturing.

Telling him he'll GLADLY deactivate the bombs if Tim spends the night with him. Not even in his bed. Just... just in his company. Bastard being all assured and decadent and offering him food. And... and... Tim is so fucking tired. The thought of fighting of ninjas and swinging all over the place tonight sounds god awful.

His body hurts. HE hurts. He's hungry. Sore. Ra's is vaguely behaving. This room is warm and those seats look soft. That food looks good. Tim decides... "You know what? Fuck it. Why not." There are a LOT of reasons why not. Starting with "This is EXACTLY what Ra's wants" but? Tim is past caring.

He says sure. Ra's isn't even gloat-y about it. Just casually calls off the bombs. Tim should probably be pissed about that but... mmmm, food. He collapses into a chair instead. It's absurdly comfortable. The night is surreal. He gets fed. They talk about furniture as Tim tries to pry the chair makers name out of Ra's to no avail. Ra's gives him an honest to gods feet and hand massage.

It's... it's nice? Really nice. Relaxing even. Tim is suspicious. Not so much he DOESN'T take the deal again... but you know... suspicious.

And Ra's keeps feeding him. There's pleasant conversation about interesting things. Massaging of sore muscles. Hands that drift higher and higher. Lower and lower. Casually. And Tim is... is so WARM. Full belly, comfortably cradled by the various seats, muscles massaged loose.

Then he makes the mistake of getting SO used to this... he just starts showing up. Not changing into his RR suit first. Ra's is patient, but crows with victory in his mind. He waits until Tim is wearing a lovely suit. No particular day but not too soon into the change in behavior. Can't spook him, after all.

His fingers are lighter then any pickpocket's unbuckling the belt. The Detective of course still notices. Becomes more alert. Attention focusing. Ra's uses a move he's done countless times before. He cradles the Detective's head with one hand and plunders his mouth, even as his other slides like a thief down somewhere it should not be, to pay immediate and overwhelming attention to the heat below.

Tim jolts so hard it's nearly a thrash. But Ra's has caught has caught him off gaurd and does NOT intend to let him get his wits about him. He teases Tim breathless, confused and horny. Then his pants are GONE. Ra's is sliding with a dangerous grace to his knees between those powerful legs and hiking them up over his shoulders, spread wide.

Tim has just enough time to be confused before everything lights up, as an impossibly skilled mouth descends onto him. He'll never live down the sounds he makes. How quickly, EASILY, Ra's is able to drive him incoherent. Even before thick, calloused fingers slide in deep. Torment his best spots with ruthless accuracy.

Then Ra's is looming over him. Looking so damn PLEASED with himself. Tim should be furious. But all he can do is gasp for air and hold on as he's split APART. Big. So big. Ra's is whispering something filthy in a long dead language, watching his body take it with so much HUNGER on his face. Has anyone EVER wanted Tim this bad? He feels impaled.

The he's being taken APART. Hips the roll and grind, snap forward and pull slow. The rhythm keeps changing. Drawing out the pleasure but not letting it build enough to get Tim off. He thinks he starts crying. Can't seem to stop. Begs Ra's to just... to j-just let him get off. Please. PLEASE. Everything is so hot. Squelching and gushing and... and...

Ra's practically glows. Backlight by the ceiling lamps. Oil and sweat catching the light, coating his body. Unbearably focused on TIM. Looking and seeing and No Where To Hide. Exposed and conquered. Everything feeling so good. Tim's brain feels likes its short circuiting. He comes apart beneath Ra's. Then is made too again. And again. And again.

There's even a soft bed and fantastic breakfast in the morning. Tim refuses to fall for this.

He of course, falls for it. It's the best sex he's ever had. He's furious. Ra's is unrepentant and openly admits to his plans. Consent IS important, after all. Tim blows up several of his bases and then three days later? Him.

It takes all of five years of routinely threatening Gotham and then fucking the Detective incoherent for it to take. The Bat's eldest sends his lover after him. Wilson is a formidable opponent but sadly, they are unable to finish their duel. As the Detective has come to kill him, himself. The usual response. His lovers are rarely the sort to appreciate being made pregnant. They tend to demand satisfaction and his head on a spine.

As equally usual, he is able to convince the Detective of why he is more useful alive. He has a very persuasive tounge. The Kryptonians sent after him though? Those are a bother. Apparently his grandson sends his regards. Well played.

tim gives into Ra's once and it absolutely messes with his ability to remain impartial and fight ra's because he's just remembering how good ra's made him feel 😩😩😩😩. tim is just human afterall and its not like dick or bruce had any leg to stand on about tim sleeping with the enemy given their own histories.

tim is furious with ra's for being good at sex and making it so he often gets all weak-kneed around him now and he HATES his pussy for getting so attatched to ra's and just automatically getting wet at the sight or sound of him.

it's so obvious what ra's wants when fucking him (aside from just fucking tim) and tim falls for it every single time thinking nothing will happen. but then 5 years after he's started sleeping with ra's, tim messes up with his birthcontrol somehow or maybe all those creampies finally caought up with him because birth control is only SO effective- and tim is pregnant. he's several weeks along and if it had been five years earlier tim would've dealt with it without a shred of remorse.

but...now tim is older and more sentimental and...he's been thinking of leaving the caped business behind for awhile....and being the mother to ra's al ghul's child means tim's baby will have built-in round-the-clock monitoring and babysitting courtesy of the various shadows ra's sends his way to watch over his newest heir. well...if he lives long enough considering the look on his friends and family's faces when he told them he was pregnant and retiring.

[doomed-era]

back at it again with more triforce headcanons, but yeah i have interpreted what piece of the triforce you get as more representative of what you want rather than what you are, and sometimes that means you think you lack that aspect. and this makes a lot of sense in the context of OoT, if you think about it!

zelda just lost her family and is fleeing her home, and judging from later in the game, I really do think she blames herself for it. she thinks she's made bad decisions and thinking of herself as a future ruler, she wants wisdom so she doesn't make those mistakes again.

link is in some form of stasis when the triforce shatters, iirc, but he's probably been overwhelmed with so much new information and new people and tried to help as much as he can before seeing it all suddenly crash and burn. he needs to be braver, to protect the world he's just been exposed to and is now being hurt because the courage he had clearly wasn't enough.

and ganondorf? i know he's very power-hungry, that's made very obvious in the text, but if we're following the same pattern here, he also feels powerless. there's definitely analyses of this that go deeper into this, but the gerudo certainly aren't respected by hyrule at large, yet because hyrule has more land, power, and supposedly the favor of the gods, ganondorf bows to its king. yes, he has strong magic and is also a king, but being surrounded by people that are so powerful he must bow to them? it could make someone feel powerless, comparatively.

my point is that not only is the triforce more about wanting something rather than having something, but also that each piece doesn't hold any particular moral value. wanting power isn't necessarily evil, and wanting force of will ("courage") isn't necessarily good. it's very relative!

[bluegalaxygirl]

Ruthless (Zosan X reader) P1

Plot: Beast off the walking dead series. After the governor attacks your people you head back to help plan an attack back. Luffy's not happy with being left out so ends up following only to end up at the governor's town.

Warning: Death, blood, violence, reader being unhinged, bad language.

Reader is a gunslinger of the crew and the younger sibling to Rick. This isn't accurate to the show but it does contain characters and plot lines, deaths have been added that aren't apart of the show. Zoro X Sanji X Reader, poly relationship, Established relationship, Reader is GN.

P2 - P3 - P4 - P5 - P6 - P7 - P8 - P9 - P10 - P11

Gulping down some water you wiped sweat from your forehead, training with Zoro was hard but you loved it, you got stronger and strong each time but today was different, you pushed yourself more than normal getting yourself ready for the battle ahead of you. The letter you got a day ago told you about the attack on your group and of course you decide to help and plan an attack back. You chose not to tell anyone about it, they know a little about where you come form, an island thats heavily quarantined due to a virus that turned most of the population into walking corpses. You and your family were lucky, the virus couldn't take hold of someone with A positive blood so even though you got bit early on you didn't turn. The group your family formed over the years grew and the government tried to get you all to leave, but they wanted to stay and rebuild, claim their home back. This came with its own probables, other groups weren't so friendly and often attacked each other, you made it your job to create alliances or truces and it worked but if they broke either one it was your job to fix it and in those early years there was a lot of blood on your hands.

You became known as Ruthless hunting anyone down who dared to hurt your people and most groups feared you but one had always met you head on, The governor was civil with you but you two would butt heads a lot on things, luckily it never turned into a full out war even though people got hurt on both sides during your big disagreements. He was a power hungry man and has lost an eye to you but in turn you have a big scar stretching form the right side of your neck to the middle of your chest. Leaving was hard for you but when a large part of your people got sick you had no chose but to take them away form the island for help leaving the group in the hands of your older brother Rick who's almost 13 years older than you. The government made it hard, testing everyone for the virus and refusing to teat anyone until the tests came back. You understand but people died during that time and after everyone was treated they refused to let you back no matter how much you fought. You managed to get in contact with your brother who told you to leave, to live your life and explore the world. Now your hear with the straw hat crew, you have two loving boyfriends and have seen so many places, its like a dream come true.

You plan on coming back but you don't want them to come with you in case they get infected. The virus can only be transmuted through a bite and with how reckless some of them can be your sure one of them will get bit so you told them about your new baby niece and how you wanted to meet her. It wasn't a lie but it also wasn't the full truth. "Im gonna head off soon" you sigh rubbing the towel across your face before looking at Zoro doing squats with a large weight. He grunts before putting it down and stretching "Already?" he sighs taking the towel you offer him and wiping his neck "Well we have been docked or an hour" you laugh a little, you were going to take one of Franky's small boats and meet them on the next island thanks to Nami's log posts. Zoro wraps the towel around his neck and pulls you in placing a kiss on your lips which you happily lean up to meet. Running your hands over his toned chest you hum into the kiss feeling his hands wonder to your lower back before moving down a bit more.

You laugh a little and pull away grabbing his hand form behind you with a smile "Your mean" he comments with a smug smile watching you remove his hands from you and step away "I know and yet you still love me" you kiss him one more time before heading to the ladder and heading down. Zoro sighs and grabs his bottle of water before following. You make it down and head to the shower room only for Sanji to rush out the kitchen and stop in front of you "Oh i was just about to come and watch you my love" he smiles a cigarette dangling from his lips. "I was just about to take a bath before heading out, want to join me?" you ask with a smile, Sanji's nose bleeding a little and nods. Zoro walks up behind and wraps his arm around your waist lifting you up and over his shoulder, you gasp and playfully hit his back "Lets go then" The swordsman laughs putting his other arm around Sanji and walking to the bathroom.

The warm water felt so good on your skin and the steam form the water made it feel like a sauna. "Are you sure we can't come with?" Sanji sighs sitting in front of you and washing your leg for you "I'm sorry, i wish you could but it's going to be hard for me to sneak in" you sigh as Zoro walks over and sits next to you handing you the soap so you can wash your arms "Its only going to be a few days" he groans as Sanji pouts moving to your other leg and pulling it out of the water "I know but... I'm going to miss you" The cook rubs your leg with the soap being gentle with your skin. "Im gonna miss you too.. Both of you but when i get back I'll make up for lost time" you smile getting the cook to stop pouting and actually give you a smile. Zoro reaches over and takes your left arm looking at the bit mark close to your wrist before placing a kiss on it "Just dont get bit again" Zoro knows you won't get infected but it must have been hell to deal with, the teeth marks forever imprinted in your skin. Leaning over you kiss his cheek "I won't, there's not that many out there anymore thank gods" you reassure him as Sanji moves to sit on your other side placing an arm around you. "I love you both" you smile kissing Sanji then Zoro before leaning back in the water with them.

With all your bag packed and guns on your belt you stand on the dock untying the boat Franky set up for you. You said good bye to everyone on the sunny but Chopper, Sanji, Zoro and Luffy insisted on seeing you off. "Don't forget this" Chopper pushes a big bag over to you, he insisted that you take a lot of medical supply's, baby stuff and medical books with you for your group. "Thank you, This will help a lot" you smile leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his cheek making him squirm a bit in happiness "You idiot.. that doesn't make me happy at all" he laughs unable to hide how happy you made him. Putting the stuff on the boat you turn to your friends with a smile "I'll see you guys on the next island" you hug your two boys first, their arms around you with your head in between them "Be safe" Zoro kisses your neck before pulling away to kiss your lips. His kiss was deep and rough but you like it leaning in and matching his roughness before pulling away. "I love you" Sanji leans in placing his lips on yours and licking your lower lip. You smile and open your mouth a little for him so his tongue can enter, you run your hand through his hair and hum a little into the kiss before pulling away "I love you too... and i love you" you smile looking at Sanji then to Zoro who rubs your back "Love you too baby" he leans in again placing a softer kiss on your lips. Luffy bounces a little on his toes waiting for you to say goodbye to him, he's not happy that your going, he wants to go with and see your home but your persistent with saying no.

Pulling away form your boys to turn to your Captain "I'll see you in a few days Captain" you salute making Luffy laugh a little before hugging you. You hug back only to feel him squeeze you more "L-Luffy c-can't b-breath" you pat his back and take a big breath in once he lets you go and rubs the back of his head "Sorry" the captain smiles wide as you step onto the boat. "I know you probably will but... try not to get into trouble" you sigh looking them over, you know your crew well enough to predict what will happen while your gone but at least you told them. They wave goodbye as your boat starts up and takes off through the water, the sea breeze on your face felt amazing but the feeling a dread loomed over you knowing what you were going to walk into. You just hoped it would be over quickly. When Rick wrote to you he said people died and that your niece was born but didn't tell you who died or if your sister-in-law was ok. It worried you but you were going to end this, no more truces or deal, the governor was going to die.

It was sun down by the time you made it to your island, putting the log post away you stayed low and turned the ship off letting it glide over to the large metal wall that surrounded the island, there was only one ship guarding the wall but over the years of no incidents they got lazy and only stayed in one spot making it easy for you to get in. Grabbing the tools Franky lent you, you managed to unscrew the bolts and pass through the gap with your boat before pulling it back to normal behind you just in case the marines deiced to do some actually work. Turning the boat on again you made your way through the rest of the water and to the island where you pulled your boat up the shore and covered it in leaves. You knew this area well so started making your way through the thick forest to your old home.

Your group had been staying inside a large prison for a few years, the last time you sore it you all managed to clear out a few areas inside but according to your letter more than half of the inside has been cleared. Pushing past a tree you make it over the hill looking down on the prison, your breath hitches in your throat once you see the damage that was done. The large fence surrounding the prison was still standing but there were now large plastic and metal sheets covering big holes that the dead were pushing against, the main gate was gone now replaced by a large sheet of metal, one of the buildings to the side of the prison was badly burnt along with a watch tower and the once lush and lively farm area was destroyed, no animals or crops in sight. You could tell the governor went after your groups lively hood, the building they burned housed most of the food you all found but hopefully it didn't take all of it.

Making your way down you walked to the side entrance, it was usually blocked off but now it was the only way in. Making your way around hiding in the long grass to avoid the undead's eyes you managed to get around and close to the gate. Standing up out of the long grass you got the attention of someone inside, you couldn't see who with the fading light but you put your hands up anyway. "Y/N?" A female whispered lowering the gun and making her way to the gate unlocking it for you telling you to get in. Running in she closed and locked the gate behind you, even though it was dark you were up close enough to see her face, short curly brown hair and Hazel eyes. "Maggie?" you whisper with a smile as the girl hugs you with one arm, you hug her back happy to see she's still alive and unharmed. "Lets get inside" She takes your hand and lead you away form the fence and through the destroyed farm area. You got a better look now, the makeshift pig pen and chicken coop were burned beyond repair, blood stained the grass and mood on the floor and there were still odd bullet casings around. The once lush grass was withered and the crap area was torn apart. Making it past the next gate into the courtyard you noticed bullet holes in the ground and lots of dried blood, some of the doors where burned up or kicked in but people where still working on either fixing them or making new doors with spare wood.

You pulled your eyes away form the blood hearing a soft sniffle from Maggie, you stop walking making her stop too, but she kept her back to you her shoulders slightly shaking as you pulled her to you and wrapped your arms around her "It's ok, i'm here now" you whisper letting the girl cry into your shoulder. Maggie is a very strong and brave woman and you can tell she's been holding this in for a while so you didn't stop her, just held her and rubbed her back until she stopped crying. "Its late, we should sleep and in the morning, Rick will tell you everything" Maggie pulls away letting you wipe her tears away with your jacket sleeve "Where is Rick?" you ask concerned that he's not here but Maggie takes your hand and walks you into the prison "They went out looking for food and medicine, don't worry too much, ok?" You nod deciding its best to hear things form your brother since he's now the sole leader of your group.

[actuallyadhd]

The reason I realised I might have adhd was my brother, he's so clearly autistic so I did research to make sure.

When I brought it up with my mother she told me to not tell him.

I finally got my diagnosis after 3 years of trying to get it, of going deeper and deeper into it.

Idk, I never hated it? I never hated my adhd. Back in 2020 I was a more active person? In terms of doing the things I liked and doing art.

Now I'm slow, tired, fatigued.

And that happened after I took meds. Apparently ritalin prozac and anxiety meds aren't supposed to be taken together, Idk what my therapist was thinking.

She told me to get anxiety meds for my stimming, cause I stim cause I'm nervous. But I KNOW that I don't. I stim when I'm excited, or when I can't focus.

When I'm anxious, when I'm angry I go stiff a a rock, I get focused sharp, because I have to be, it's a defense mechanism.

I don't hate adhd I don't hate meds inheritly either. But I hate how my meds made me a zombie, that I was forced to go on them so I could achieve this academic goal.

Maybe if I lived in a place with better mental healthcare I wouldn't be dealing with the effects of bad medication and my worsening depression.

I'm slightly better now, but my executive function got fucked. I can't just, do the things I like anymore. I feel less feelings than I did before.

I don't hate myself I just, I guess I'm in a hurry to heal from everything when I'm still living with the people that abused and continue to abuse me emotionally.

Specially my abelist mother who keeps saying adhd and autism aren't a disability, and they're just a quirk like her being left handed.

My dad has finally came to the realisation that he probably has adhd like me.

I'm a uni student now and living in a dorm away from my family has helped me regain that control I had and live a healthier life. But I'm back now over the summer and I can feel myself going back to my old ways the more I stay at my family home.

Idk,

Is this cptsd? Idk what it is.

Is it bad to say I love my adhd? Usually at least. When there's no one breathing down my neck not letting me do my own thing, when I don't get pulled into random places and have a choice to stay. And say no.

I guess things will get worse before they get better....

Sent August 18, 2024

There's definitely a lot to unpack here. I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. I will do my best to offer suggestions and reassurance, as always.

It makes sense that your brother is autistic and you have ADHD; both are highly heritable, and seem to be related in some way. So it also makes sense that your dad has now realized he probably has ADHD!

I have a feeling this is going to be long, so have a cut.

Stimming & Anxiety

Neurotypical people think that the only reason for fidgeting is anxiety.

It's not.

As a general rule, it's either expressive (as when we're happy or excited or upset) or regulating (as when we need to focus or feel overwhelmed).

And if stimming or fidgeting isn't disruptive or hurting anyone (including yourself), it definitely doesn't need to be medicated. WTAF.

Medication Issues

Medication can be tricky. The wrong meds can cause more problems than they solve. Even the right med at the wrong dose can be a problem!

Examples from my own life:

Starting dose of Concerta didn't do much, next dose up gave me a week-long anxiety attack.

Starting dose of Welbutrin made me feel like I was About to Die for a week.

Dexedrine initially made me NOT HUNGRY for three weeks. I lost 10 lbs.

Strattera made me depressed and adversely affected my typing (been accurately touch typing since I was 11, suddenly was making really weird typos).

Good dose of sertraline (Zoloft) helped my anxiety and depression but caused me to start skin picking in earnest; next dose up had me closing in on serotonin syndrome.

Adderall worked well (until it didn't) but also made me feel ill after I ate yogurt.

It sounds like you would need to try other meds or other doses, preferably one at a time(!), to find what works best for you overall.

Executive Function & Depression

It sounds like your depression is your biggest problem right now. Depression can worsen executive functioning, so that makes sense.

It's probably a good idea to talk to your prescribing doctor about your medication regime. Ask what your options are and if you can please work on getting off the antidepressant so you can try something else.

Alongside this, you may well be dealing with ADHD burnout, which I am only just coming out of myself. It's a struggle, to be sure!

My best advice for that is to be gentle with yourself. Don't expect yourself to Do All the Things; instead, keep a master list of things that need to get done and choose three of them to focus on each day (your Goals) and three fun ones to try to get to each day (your gravy).

It's okay if sometimes one of your Goals is to get dressed.

Parent Stuff

It sounds like your mom is trying to make you feel better or maybe herself(?). If that's how she needs to think of this all, let her. What matters is that she understands when you're struggling and is willing to support you. If not, you might like to refer her to this Russell Barkley video.

It's great that your dad has realized he has ADHD, though! Even if he doesn't bother to pursue a formal diagnosis, just knowing that can help a lot since if he's having issues he knows where to find suggestions that are more likely to actually work (because stuff that works for neurotypical people almost never works for ADHDers, while stuff that works for us also works for NT's).

Family Systems Theory says that how we behave around our family members is directed by how our family works as a system. There are also smaller systems within the whole that affect how individuals relate to each other. This is why we tend to fall back into childhood patterns when we're around our family of origin. Those patterns are ingrained through years of conditioning.

CPTSD?

While I don't think Gabor Maté is right about trauma and ADHD, I do think that it's pretty common for ADHDers to have childhood trauma. We spend years getting in trouble for stuff we couldn't control and being held to a standard we simply can't reach due to our ADHD, and that affects our self-esteem and is (to my mind) a big reason why so many of us have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), which is that huge emotional reaction we can have to criticism (real or perceived).

I have found a lot of reassurance and helpful information about CPTSD through watching videos from the Crappy Childhood Fairy on YouTube. She reads letters from people and helps them with their problems, and she explains the problems faced by people who have CPTSD and offers ways to deal with them.

Loving ADHD

I don't think it's bad to love your ADHD. I do think it's a little weird, because most of us hate it a lot of the time, but I definitely see positives in my own life and view it as a neutral (if annoying) part of who I am.

I actually think it's great that you do love it, because it's going to be part of your life forever. Making sure you have systems in place to deal with the stuff that's challenging is going to be really important moving forward, but that's part of what this Tumblr is for.

Overall, I think you are probably doing better than you think you are, and once your meds get sorted you'll be in a much better space in general.

Followers, do you have anything to add, or any corrections to something I've said?

-J

[pain-suffering-even]

various headcanons that i forgot aren't actually canon

just the koreans cause if i did everyone at once, we would be here forever

Jongin and Yoonho were both part of the Fiend Guild, and that's where their rivalry started, by competing for vice guildmaster

Jongin rescued a cat from Jeju during their first raid and smuggled her back in his cape. Her name is Kiwi. He had to get a new cape because she uses his old one to sleep

Byungyu and Yoonho are childhood friends. Byungyu would always defend Yoonho, because he was so much of a softie and a crybaby as a kid

Yoonho has like. A bajillion animals at home. At some point when he's walking his dogs during a hot summer, he goes topless, and the picture reaches the papers so fast. It gets brought up in almost every single argument with Jongin

Taegyu will eat sour candy until his mouth bleeds and it sends Byungyu insane

Eunseok was an S rank assassin part of the Fame Guild, and was best friends with Byungyu and Haein

Haein was first vice of the Fame Guild before Jongin created the Hunter's Guild and stole her (he promised her no paperwork if she joined, and she was sold)

Hwang Dongsu used to be part of the Knights Guild. He joined, thinking as an S ranker he would immediately become the guild leader. When that didn't happen, he began searching overseas, where Thomas Andre ran into him and picked him up

Byungyu felt too guilty to dedicate himself to one guild, and so he freelances for a high price, so this way he can help more people instead of being tied down. It made it easier to retire, too. The running joke is that he wants to join the Hunters Association

Taegyu and Dongwook had a healthy rivalry between the Fiend and Fame guild. They don't know where Jongin and Yoonho learned to be rivals like that

The Fiend Guild used to be no. 1 until Jongin rose to the top by recruiting Haein and gathering a lot of attention by being a guild leader as a mage

Taegyu and Jongin still talk often. Jongin always makes fun of Taegyu for being ancient and forgotten and Taegyu calls him an arrogant brat. They would die for one another

Just before he became no. 1, Jongin had a really bad fight with Hwang Dongsu. It wasn't unusual, because most other S rankers despise him, since he was blatantly power hungry and bloodthirsty. Because Jongin lost, he ended up leaving Taegyu and the Fiend Guild and created his own guild in an attempt to prove his strength

Jongin despises Yoonho for hiring Hwang Dongsu's brother, Dongsuk, because he still holds a grudge

Jinchul doesn't like Taegyu very much, because he kept trying to bribe him to join the Fiend Guild. They're ok now, especially now that the Fiend Guild isn't no. 1, but Jinchul avoids Taegyu still

Go Gunhee used to pretend actually entertaining the idea of letting Jinchul join a guild until Jinchul told him it was causing problems on his end (Thomas got sad Gunhee said no and Jinchul was terrified that sadness would turn to anger)

During the holidays, Yoonho always takes his dogs and one cat back home with him. Byungyu also goes, so it's become a sort of yearly roadtrip for them. Yoonho usually asks Taegyu or Haein to pet-sit the rest of his animals while he's away

Haein likes fast food restaurants. Neither Jongin nor Dongwook understand why, but she drags them there all the same

Jinchul appreciates Byungyu and Haein, since they always mediate Yoonho and Jongin whenever he isn't around to stop them. It doesn't always work, but at least they tried

Haein doesn't know Jinchul is the origin for her nickname, The Dancer, because he was creating her hunter profile and was mesmerized by the way she fought. He mentioned it to Go Gunhee, and it kinda spiraled from there

[prinnamon]

notes on Chell's Mind (CyhAnide)! linked a playlist since this is one of the trickier ones to find, given that all the videos are unlisted. i'm not too worried about archival since they're on Internet Archive and Cyh, as of two years ago, seems to have no intention of ever taking them down/making them private. however, it does seem like the two bloopers episodes are probably lost for good! too bad.

by the way, outside this post, i'm probably going to refer to this series' protagonist as CyhChell instead of something like ChellMind because there were/are lots of other Chell's Mind series! i plan on at least watching the one by Rychotech eventually. CyhChell is the one elevated to the status of "mindverse canon" by other mind series creators, but that doesn't mean others' efforts aren't worth appreciating :3

keep in mind that Cyh wrote and produced this series before the release of Portal 2! as such, there are ways in which Chell's Mind might not be canon-compliant. feel free to point them out in a reblog. i'm not very well-versed in portal lore yet!

EPISODE 00

Chell wakes up and isn't feeling or breathing so good! instinctively searches her brain to attribute it to having drank something the night before.

pleased with the additional jump height granted to her by the advanced knee replacement prostheses.

wants some coffee…

recalls having answered a questionnaire of some kind. cuts herself off before elaborating.

when she hears that the particle field will vaporize the box, she immediately picks it back up. she wants to see that. she specifically uses the word "torture." she wants to do HARM to this inanimate object and while she does so she wants to pretend it can feel pain

it tingles to walk through the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill! feels like static electricity.

heavily critical of all the issues (shaky elevators, suspicious floor stains) in this "nice, new" facility supposedly worth billions

“i wanna go home”

12 is a good number. she feels this way because people have told her 12 is a good number.

creeped out by the cameras at first but then starts sorta playing with them and baby-talking them

VERY nervous at the prospect of losing a limb to a badly-timed portal closure

freaked out by GLaDOS's remark about "prolonged exposure to the button." gets away from it as fast as possible. when she's out of the perceived danger, she quickly realizes it sounds like bullshit and probably isn't dangerous

complains about the use of the word "emancipation." unnecessarily long and complicated word to use when a shorter/simpler one would work just fine, she thinks.

despite her distaste for it, she gets the word “emancipation” stuck in her head after GLaDOS describes the Emancipation Grill. uses “emancipate”/”emancipation” repeatedly after this.

feels completely fine until GLaDOS suggests that the Emancipation Grill sometimes emancipates teeth. then she suddenly panics and says she can taste metal. i'm getting the sense that it is very easy to get CyhChel riled up.

thinks the portal gun is AWESOME. very excited to have it.

“i wanna go home"… 2!

prefers blue (portals, but also the color in general) over orange (portals, but also the color in general)

says she has a "bad hair day" every day. doesn't like her hair i guess :(

wants to hold onto the gun. worried the emancipation grill will take it. elated when it turns out she gets to keep it

very hungry. can't remember when she last ate.

wants more oxygen? i guess she still feels like she's having trouble breathing.

EPISODE 01

ever-present desires: food, coffee, soda, companionship, and to go home

calls the portal gun her only friend in this place. immediately starts trying to think of a name for it other than Aperture Handheld Portal Device/ASHPD.

considers the name Sebastian (Sebby or S-Diddy for short); considers the name Quirinus (she loves the letter Q); tries to think of a good anagram of the letters ASHPD (Shapd, Shpad, Dash-P, or P-Dash)

tells GLaDOS to shut up, she's busy talking to her friend the portal gun.

settles on the name ASHPoD. thinks that makes it sound like "a vegetable or an alien"

starts appealing to "Miss Computer Lady" for something to eat or drink

apparently missing lots of memories/context, which she attributes to a lack of oxygen earlier. anyway, she cannot for the life of her remember anything about GLaDOS the computer's name other than that it starts with a G

her deep hatred of storage cubes continues. she wants to vaporize them soooo bad.

starts to pick up on GLaDOS's passive-aggression and dishonesty

"I wonder which unforgivable ass-hat decided to put me in a pure oxygen environment, anyway. Sure, it was probably so that my knee replacements healed faster, and I could get on with the testing, but still….Well, okay, there was some nitrogen, but no NOS. The least they could have done was give me laughing gas. Then suffocation wouldn't have felt so terrible." ✍️ This will be important later!

remembers that meatloaf is bad. doesn't remember eating meatloaf; just remembers knowing that it's bad.

claims to have signed up for this test. can't remember why she did, but she seems sure she's here voluntarily.

says that it was between Black Mesa and Aperture, and Aperture was offering more money (for what? you’ll see.)

considers briefly that her mom might have put her up to this. it's too hard to remember, so she quits trying.

"i feel like i've never ever eaten anything in my entire life, which is freaking me out."✍️ This will be important later! but that aside, this is real. sometimes you get so hungry you get Scared

smugly suggests Black Mesa is better funded and more advanced than Aperture

incredibly attached to ASHPoD. says they'll be best friends forever even if they can't hug or have staring contests or go to the beach

pronounces her name with a soft "ch" like she’s saying the word “shell”! (in the comments of one of the episodes, Cyh confirms the name is short for Michelle, so that would be why.)

remembers her name! and… not her hometown! wow, yeah, okay her amnesia in this is far greater than i was expecting! and she's handling not being able to remember key details of her life incredibly well.

shares the freeman brothers' trait of being easily hypnotized. she loves swirling ball of light.

"all i remember is taking that test, then being told that they'd fix my legs, then going out to party, then waking up in here and suffocating." JESUS. OKAY. so CyhChell's reason for being here is coming back to her. i'm wondering,,, was this a popular theory pre-Portal 2? that Chell was lured to Aperture for testing under the guise of it just being for experimental knee surgery? or was this just a Cyh original??? like, i recognize “Chell was visiting the facility because a relative worked there and she got kidnapped” is not exactly good, but damn!

uh. anyway! she's finally circled back to the questionnaire she interrupted herself about in episode 00. apparently it asked for her favorite color at two different points and then accused her of lying when her answer changed from one shade of red to another. that's a reference to the Enrichment Center Test Subject Application Process from the now-defunct Aperture Science website! check out an archive of all the questions here on Combine OverWiki!

Chell's answers, by the way, were crimson and sangria.

"Kill me now. Death sounds awesome at this point."

slur count: 1

notices and calls out the fact that there's no scientists in the observation rooms.

thinks GLaDOS's voice might be a figment of her imagination.

fun chellism: "son of a one-eyed prairie dog"

"i wanna go home"… 3! (there was a "can i go home?" earlier as well)

one of her teeth is emancipated after the seventh test. oopsie.

EPISODE 02

slur count: 2

really broken up about the lost tooth. demands medical supplies from GLaDOS (or, if she plans to just continue emancipating all Chell's teeth, to at least prepare some soft foods for her to eat once she's no longer able to chew).

begins threatening to kill GLaDOS in various creative ways

would "slaughter a man with [her] bare hands for a Mountain Dew right about now." *excitedly tabs over to the mindverse character soda preferences spreadsheet once again*

thinks briefly about drinking the sludge.

chell "not a fan of long and complicated words when a shorter/simpler one would work just fine" lastname is certainly having fun saying "emancipated" and "accursed" (accursed? as in farms???) and "egads!" and "mucosa" this episode.

claims that smelling the acid in this room is "worse than being trapped in an unventilated room after spraying an entire bottle of tilex on every wall and rubbing my face in it! which i have never done. not even when i was drunk….okay, maybe once. when drunk. but my friends told me to do it"

sings "mary had a little lamb" in japanese in the elevator to amuse herself. she loves japanese :]

FINALLY, an opportunity to vaporize a storage cube. she thoroughly enjoys it. she does a voice for it and pretends it's pleading for its life and then laughs maniacally as it is incinerated. she incinerates five cubes before deciding to do the actual puzzle

hasn't been promised food but is expecting it.

when GLaDOS says "quit now and cake will be served immediately," chell is ECSTATIC. like, she gets to stop doing this AND she gets food? exactly what she wanted.

black forest cake is her favorite type of cake.

realizes she's not getting cake and is very upset.

is going to call GLaDOS "HAL" now as a form of retribution and as a threat

"♪ mary had a little lamb. her father shot it dead. now it goes to school with her between two chunks of bread. ♪" why aren't we talking about this. can anyone hear me

EPISODE 03

notices signs of clawing/scratching on the elevator's padded walls. she says it looks "as though trapped individuals had once tried desperately to claw their way to freedom," but she seems not to believe that's actually the case.

going to call GLaDOS HAL "Hallie" now.

does a voice for ASHPoD. gives it a british accent and makes it address her as "madam." tells herself in its voice that she's going out of her mind

calls herself "short" and "a tiny person"! SHORT CHELL CONFIRMATION 🎉

finds the momentum puzzles significantly more enjoyable than everything that came before.

references Bleach, i think. i have not seen Bleach, i have no comment on this

hates physics. does NOT want a lesson on physics from GLaDOS "this early in the morning and prior to breakfast."

hearing an echoing whispered voice in her head! was just doing voices before but is legitimately hearing voices now.

the voice in her head claims to be CNN and ultimately leaves her alone because they "have to make sure [they] TiVo'd the game," prompting Chell to wonder, "Is there… TiVo… in my head?" and to request the voice also TiVo the show Fringe for her.

the voice does not like Fringe. for this offense, Chell dubs the voice "evil twin."

slur count: 3 (this one is said by evil twin)

so happy to get the second portal gun! "look, ASHPoD! it's your brother! let's hope he's not evil, like my imaginary twin. she's no fun at all."

in response to this, evil twin says "seven days."

chell thinks the situation is bad but not as bad as it could be

RED VS BLUE REFERENCE. RVB FAN CHELL.

if this is an rvb season 3 situation, she's excited to meet her clones. she'd love a clone army

more emotionally attached to the left side of her body than to the right. would sell her right kidney for $30,000 in a heartbeat if given the opportunity

assumes the result would be catastrophic if two portals collided. something about black holes and dividing by zero

getting a blister from carrying ASHPoD everywhere. it's heavy!

preferred ice cream flavors are blueberry cheesecake and pistachio

dreaming about food… cuts herself off with "i'm shutting up before i kill myself."

wants to be a ninja someday

dancing excitedly while she watches herself in the portal, now that she can put both portals on either side of a tight hallway

EPISODE 04

bets the computer has a goatee, since evil people always have goatees and the computer is evil

"along with goatees, eyeliner is shorthand for demonic possession….perhaps the computer wears eyeliner as well?" she is designing a GLaDOS humansona inside her head the likes of which the world may not be ready for

mistakes a wall light for daylight. bummed that she can't escape through it.

has had monster movie marathons. considers that a type of survival training

the only disease she'd like to contract is Worseley's Supplement. (from the comments: according to Cyh, Worseley's Supplement is "an obscure reference from an even more obscure book, the title of which escapes me every time I try to recall it. Basically, it means you're incapable of judging amounts, including zero, which leaves you guessing like a crazy person.")

"if ebola made you psychic, i think i'd wanna catch it." Okay

aware she's immune to gravity but still skeeved out by heights

needed to fill out a birth date and death date for a report she was doing on Ross Perot, but he was still alive, so she asked her teacher if she could pick a random date in the future for the death date. "'no,' says my teacher. 'wouldn't you feel bad if he actually died on that day?'…and i smiled at him and replied flatly, 'i wouldn't feel bad, no! i'd feel powerful.'" i LOVE herrrrr, this is a great anecdote

evil twin returns. apparently real-life power outages affect the headspace TV, interrupting the game evil twin was watching.

slur count: 4

new voice in her head who makes exactly one appearance. the fortune-teller. "virgos with beards who are brushing their teeth will die today." unhelpful!

makes an infinite freefall setup for fun and enrichment! it stops being fun very quickly, and she falls for SEVERAL MILES according to a title card because she cannot figure out how to stop. very shaken and relieved when it's finally over

is sick of the cameras staring at her. wants it to stop.

realizes she can knock the camera off the wall with portals. fascinated. elated. agog.

"(in a silly voice) i need mountain dew before i kill again!!!" she is so thirsty let her sip

"then again, illusion is preferable to despair." if she was offered a drug that would let her mentally escape from this situation, she'd consider taking it.

decides it's a good time to start plotting world destruction

references yu-gi-oh

"i've come to the conclusion that life is a game. my life, specifically. however, every game has its cheats." oh that's a good line

references sonic the hedgehog

she has retained the idea from earlier that the buttons emit dangerous radiation and that there are actual consequences for "prolonged exposure."

starts rambling about Erasmus and madness, seemingly trying to convince herself she "has every right to lose her mind. thoughts of terror and carnage are okay! they're totally okay because Erasmus says it's okay."

and now i have to interrupt the flow of this because this was the point when i decided to scroll down and read some of the comments on this video, and

[Start ID. A YouTube comment by @/CyhAnide from 14 years ago. It reads:

@/Whackjood: She's not starving or malnourished. She's just never eaten food, which causes the sensation of hunger. Because she's a clone. GLaDOS kept her in stasis in the relaxation vault prior to testing. Health-wise, she's theoretically perfect, since that's how GLaDOS operates.

End ID.]

and i didn't find this one until later, but here's a comment on a different episode along the same lines:

[Start ID. A YouTube comment by @/CyhAnide from 14 years ago. It reads:

@/MaxOfS2D: Unfortunately, none of that was ever confirmed by VALVe. Ergo, I can decide her story. They neglected to give Chell a background for the purpose of letting players choose what her past might be. There are also theories that she's Cave Johnson's daughter, a clone of a test subject from before GLaDOS was commissioned, she's actually an android, etc.... I don't like the idea of her getting caught on bring your daughter to work day, so I went the route that brings Black Mesa to the fore.

End ID.]

wowowowowow. that was a bombshell to just suddenly discover! the canon is that the CyhChell we follow through this series is a clone! so... whatever happened to CyhChell Prime? maybe she just came in, answered a questionnaire, had some of her DNA taken, and then got sent home with a check. i hope she at least got the knee surgery she was promised before being sent home. how many Chells came before the protagonist? what number is she? (twelve is a good number. or, so she's heard.)

huh. man. anyway..! after processing some of the implications of this, i went ahead and moved onto the last installments of the series.

EPISODE 05 (PART 1)

it's a weight off her shoulders to let go of the idea that she has to stay "sane."

remembers what it's like to rip your nails to shreds in a cheese grater obsessively trying to grate the last bits of cheese. sanity is a cheese grater

still believes the situation could be worse!

goes back to bargaining with GLaDOS instead of threatening her. "condition me to respond favorably by giving me things! preferably expensive things."

"I Lost You (Through a Portal to Hell)" is playing from an inaccessible radio in test chamber 14.

seems to believe portal guns will eventually be mass-produced. ("ASHPoD, you're gonna make people very lazy one day.")

undershoots a jump and slams into a wall.

hates mosquitoes.

can't remember speaking to anyone at Aperture since getting here. (so who administered your questionnaire, silly?)

she'd like it if someone was around to comfort her. anyone. she'd take an evil/creepy mad scientist.

vaporizes another cube for fun.

hates Valentine's Day.

wants a nap. mmm. elevator naptime.

EPISODE 05 (PART 2)

never mind about naptime, she gets up literally as soon as the elevator ride ends.

fun chellism: "oh, for the love of waffles"

reacts to GLaDOS's comment about complimentary grief counseling. "who's gonna be grieving? am i? will you be taking ASHPoD from me? or will ASHPoD be the one grieving? 😰"

"cripes, i throw like a girl. …wait, i am a girl." feels transgender in some direction

vaporizes one of the cameras.

"I Lost You (Through a Portal to Hell)" is playing from another radio. it seems inaccessible, but chell grabs it!! now that she can hear the song better, she likes it. she enjoys rock music.

trying to figure out a way to get the radio past the emancipation grill. "now that i've attained music, i can't imagine being without it. the silence was killing me inside."

"maybe i can hide [the radio] in my jumpsuit? uh… no. that won't fit. if my boobs were smaller, then we wouldn't have this problem, would we?" finally,,, a tiny bit of evidence i can point to for my transmasc/bigender CyhChell theory (wishes her boobs were smaller... just like me...)

hears the song say "portal to Hell" and gets so freaked out she vaporizes the radio. so much for music. and it makes a VERY unpleasant sound while being destroyed (she describes it later as "the radio that shrieks in pain") which hurts her ears

"portal…able… areas….por-tal-able. portable? portal-able?" can't find an easy adjective for "able to have a portal placed upon it."

doesn't understand trigonometry. feels that understanding trigonometry would make this easier.

oh, and she's been calling the high energy pellets "superballs" for a while. forgot to note it whenever it started.

"lucky for me, fortune favors the psychologically deviant."

doesn't like the phrase "more quickly." prefers her version: "quickler."

wants to get wasted at a bar after all this is over.

plans to take a nap in THIS elevator.

hears the elevator playing music for her and then talking to her (it's the voice of ian riley! yay!)

the mind series fandom wiki led me to believe that the series had been silently canceled, and that was true for a long time, but two years ago Cyh actually left a comment under episode 05 (part 2) which provided some closure!

[Start ID. An edited YouTube comment by @/CyhAnide from 2 years ago. It reads:

So. Now that pinned comments are a thing, allow me to answer some frequently asked questions... (WARNING: TEXT WALL AHEAD.) Q) Next episode when? A) Never. I'm sorry, but I'm not planning on continuing this series. Mostly because it's so old? And because I can't guarantee that I would finish it even if I did start it up again--which wouldn't be fair to the ten or twenty people who actually want it to go on. The YouTube environment is exhausting on the mental health, people. For cereal. And my channel a decade ago was nothing compared to some of today's numbers! Goodness, it even tore SBFP apart. How does Pewds survive? Q) What you up to? A) Life is going swimmingly~! I'm almost always on YouTube, but as a viewer only. You're most likely to spot me commenting on random spookytube/mysterytube videos. Also, the creator of Barney's Mind and I got married! Been together since the heyday of the MasterMinds, actually. No kids yet, but we do have an African Grey who is stealing my voice. Q) You gonna delete your videos??? D: A) Nope. At least, not all. I've made the bloopers and some of the extraneous stuff private because they're either purposeless or bothered me in some way, but I plan to leave the Chell's Mind main series up for the foreseeable future. They will be unlisted; however, I'm keeping the playlist front and center on my channel page. The reason for this is simple: I don't want them on the algorithm anymore, mostly because it only brings more people to the channel who are doomed to disappointment. To those who attach nostalgia to my series, however, I'm leaving the playlist of unlisted episodes up just for you. :D I'm sure various wiki links or whatever should also still be able to find them that way. Also, YouTube now monetizes EVERYTHING, and I don't want to contribute. =_= My videos were ad-free from birth, darn it. Conclusion: Anyway, I apologize for...ELEVEN YEARS OF SILENCE???? You all probably don't know or care, but I'm honestly kind of atrocious at keeping up with social interaction of any flavor. I'm basically the personification of every "sorry I vanished for three months" meme. Except I can vanish for years at a time without feeling pressured to return. As demonstrated by this channel. I don't even own a smart phone. Because I'd rid myself of its [ping! ping! ping!] presence within a week. XD Still, I'm happy that some of you still look back on this series and smile. It was immature at times--and probably even horribly non-PC by today's standards--but still, it's nice to know that I managed to entertain a few of you, at least a little bit. ^_^ Much love, my friends, and thank you. I hope that all my viewers, new and old, go on to lead happy, peaceful lives. =_= ~*(cyh)*

End ID.]

i think i got a little deeper into finding extra facts about one than i did for the others, but the series definitely deserved it! plus, it was short, so i could afford spending a little more time with it. although i started and finished the series and my notes for it yesterday, i took today to scroll through the comments on each video, looking for any more bombshells like "canon clone cyhchell" which i might have missed. none so earth-shattering as that, but i'll share some of my finds (in a reblog since this post is getting very long)!

[skzcoffee]

skz as college boyfriends | hyung line

Pairing: hyung line x fem¡reader

Word count: 0.4k

Genre: Fluff (very fluffy and delulu bc skz is just so)

Warnings: None!

A.N: Sorry if this is bad and very late I lost a bit of inspiration for the hyung line because I’ve been having really bad days lately :(

— Masterlist !!

—------------------------------------------------------

Bangchan

• Staying up all night studying together

• Walks around the entire school to pick you up from your lectures

• Late night dates literally anywhere

• Walking around campus and town until the sun sets and everyone leaves

• Binge watching your favorite show until sunrise and you fall asleep on his lap

• Lazy mornings full of cuddling and kissing all morning in bed

• Literally the parents around your friends

• “Mom, dad, what are we doing today” The guy who said that was Felix 🤓. You play along “We’re doing out to eat son.”

• Chan pretends to hate roleplaying family but secretly loves it

Minho

• Cat cafe dates :’)

• Late night walks while holding hands!

• Same place for weekly dates as a “tradition”

• Cooking for you so you don't eat out too much

• Pretends he doesn't like public affection but he loves it secretly

• Sends you funny and cute videos of him playing with snow filters

• Comes over to your place without even asking

• Sends you photos of his cat as a form of love expression

• “Look, it's Soonie with a hat! Cute, isn't it?” “So cute, but not as cute as you ;)” “So I’m a cat now?" “Maybe”

Changbin

• Turns you into a gym rat

• Gym dates?? (Seems weird but for you guys it's perfectly normal)

• Cuddling A LOT (cause you love sleeping on his chest)

• Trying to cook together but doesn't work out most of the time

• Texts you about every little detail of his day

• “Y/NNNNN!!! I’m in the most boring lecture everrrrr! Please pick me up after, we can go get coffee or something 😉” “Omgg deal, I’m on my way :))”

• Writes you letters but is too shy to give them to you (he eventually does)

• Embarrassing you with aegyo in public because it’s funny (it’s okay bc you secretly think it’s cute)

• He’s like the “lalala” to you “okokok”

Hyunjin

• You guys are like a couple straight out of a classic romance movie, it’s so cute

• Takes you out on casual and fancy dates (he likes variety)

• Lots of paintings of you or for you

• Holds your hand 24/7, he does not let go.

• Loves it when you go to his dance practice just to keep him company

• Does the same for your extra curricular activities

• Hanging out at the local café everyday after school

• Literally loves gossip so much like it’s concerning

• “So, what’s today’s gossip?” “You're hungry aren't you?” “I had a boring day, I need gossipppp!!!” “Well, I found out that my professor…”

• Sends you selfies of him literally anywhere

• Pet names!! (ex. love, darling, sweetheart)

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Author's Note: I'm sooo sorry for taking so long but I hope you like it :)) Please tell me what to write next I have no ideas.

[raikanata]

Banquet Beneath the Clouded Moon - Chapter 3

English translation by @raikanata. Not proofread.

Characters: Rinne, Niki, Kanata

[♪]

Season: Autumn

A while later

Rinne: I'm hoome!

Rinne: Blamery-chan, how'd ya like your walk?

Rinne: You're wagging your tail? Good girl...♪

Rinne: The walking must've made her hungry, she's really goin' at it.

Rinne: Seeing Blamery-chan eat so eagerly got me hungry too. Should I get something from the kitchen...?

Rinne: A few minutes later. At Starmony Hall’s Kitchen

Rinne: I don't want a hassle, so I'll just get cup noodles.

Rinne: I'm grateful I can just freely eat from the instant noodles stock. I'm not starving, thanks to that.

Rinne: ...Hmm? There's an appetizing smell coming from the kitchen.

Niki: ♪~♪~♪

Rinne: Hey, great timing!

Niki: Uwah, Rinne-kun!?

Rinne: I missed you, Niki ☆

Niki: Uu, I didn't miss you at all, though....

Rinne: You're actin' like you crossed paths with a jinx. 1

Niki: Well, aren't you one? Most of the troubles I get mixed up in are thanks to Rinne-kun.

Niki: Especially if you're saying something like "great timing", I gotta put my guard up.

Rinne: Gyahaha, you praise me too much♪

Niki: I was not praising you at all!

Niki: I'm busy making fried rice for lunch, so please go somewhere else!

Rinne: C'mon, don't be so heartless. While you're at it, I just want you to make some food for lil old me as well.

Niki: Really〜?

Rinne: Oioi, when have I ever lied to you before?

Niki: Many times! So many that I lost count!

Niki: But, well. A chef can't ignore someone who comes to them hungry, so I guess I can cook for you.

Rinne: Ah, that's what makes ya Niki ☆

Niki: Well, I'm in a good mood.

Rinne: Lend me some money, while you're at it ♪

Niki: No way!

Niki: I'm not "at" something like that right now, also!?

Niki: And did you lose all of your money gambling again? You got a talent for never learning your lesson, you know!

Rinne: Don't say that. Isn't what's Niki's also mine?

Niki: It's not! My money is only mine!

Kanata: ...oh. "chief"-san and niki. isn't it quite lively here?

Rinne: Kanacchi, are you back from work?

Kanata: yes. the job ended up being much shorter than "planned".

Kanata: there is nothing for me "to do", so i am struggling a bit. what would you do in this situation, "chief"-san?

Rinne: If it were me-

Niki: Shinkai-kun, don't ask that to Rinne-kun. His answers won't help anyone, and he'll just be a bad influence if anything.

Rinne: Don't say bad things like that to other people, and stop spreading rumors.

Niki: Though it's not a rumor but a fact...

Niki: Then go ahead and tell us. What would Rinne-kun do in this situation?

Rinne: Well, if I gotta kill time, I'd go gambling ☆

Niki: You're really no good...!

Kanata: gambling... that's right, the other day, you called me "the god of gambling" and started worshiping me on your own accord , right?

Niki: Now that you mention it, that did happen~

Rinne: I'm sorry for bein' bad that time ♪

Niki: Saying it like that, you don't feel any remorse, do you?

Kanata: you don't feel any "remorse"? mm...

Kanata: ...

Kanata: ..."chief"-san. as an "apology" for calling me "the god of gambling", please take me somewhere nice ♪

Rinne: Ah, today's-

Niki: Good, right? Rinne-kun doesn't have work today.

Rinne: Oi, Niki.

Niki: Aren't you free anyway? Why not take him out?

Rinne: ...Tch. I got it. I was planning on apologizing some day, ya know.

Rinne: Niki, are you done with the fried rice? My belly's touchin' my back, so please hurry.

Niki: I just finished it now.

Niki: Shinkai-kun, would you like, would you like to eat too?

Kanata:i already ate "outside", so it is alright.

then, i'll go put my stuff in the "room" and be right back.

Kanata: ehehe. let's get along well today, "chief"-san.

Rinne: Mhm. See ya, Kanacchi.

...Where can ya even go when ya don't have any money?

Niki: You can't go gambling, right?

Rinne: Yeah yeah. That goes without sayin'.

Niki, where'd ya go in this situation?

Niki:If it were me? Uum... My favorite restaurant, maybe?

Rinne: Dumbass. I'm sayin' if ya didn't have any money.

Niki: Eh...

What about the mountains? There are wild plants you can pick up to eat for free.

Rinne: Not gonna work. Goin' to the mountains costs the transportation fee.

Niki: You can't even afford the transportation? I feel second hand embarrassment as your friend.

Rinne: Shut up. Speaking of places you can go without money...

Should I try goin' to "Beehive", then?

[☆]

lit. God of Pestilence. the usage of this in Japanese is not only literal but also as "a person who should be avoided, a person who brings bad luck" etc.

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[titaniumrock]

Wanted to share how I deal with writing feral ghouls and how I make them more than what we see from Beth.

There has been many ideas on just how a ghoul may go feral but one things that seems to a relatively common idea is, that all ferals are, well, Feral. They are depicted as just animals or zombies that attack on sight and throw themselves at anything without care. Now this isn't a bad thing as it fits with the name but that's honestly boring. So I've decided to have fun with how ferals can be more interesting.

(Please do feel free to use my ideas and change some stuff, I am always happy to share. Oh and please do share your own ideas if you want!)

I am however keeping the whole thing of them not really being able to talk (instead just growling and stuff) and the "lost their mind" thing Bethesda seems to have latched onto (this will be explained later on when I finally write out how ghouls go feral (and maybe regular people can go feral too, because why not?)), because it works to differentiate them from ghouls who do not tend to act like ferals (not all of them of course).

So here it is under the cut because it's pretty long lol.

--

Ferals can be stuck in a loop. This is something that I have mostly attributed to pre-war ferals that have somehow been left alone, (probably because they don't bother anyone). So when these people turned into ghouls (if they were lucky or unlucky) and then turned feral many of them ended up with the stuck trait as I'll be calling it. This stuck trait is where they will continue to partake in one action forever essentially or until they can't move anymore, or if they "snap out of it."

For example, there is a feral in my fic that is stuck trying to get a car off of them and their feral spouse is trying to help them by looking through the debris and rubble, this feral is also protective over them rushing to their aid if anything gets too close to their love. This is their stuck trait, their minds have latched onto these actions and they will continue to forever do their stuck traits neglecting their body and everything around them to try and complete it.

Now these ferals with this Stuck trait can "snap out of it" but it is mostly caused by "foreign" people getting too close. Not every feral will react the same way to this interruption either, some are defensive, some are cowardly, some act with their past in mind, and some act with violence. These "foreign" people can create this "snap out" reaction because they are something different that the feral has never noticed or seen before and so they "snap out" of their loop. But once the "foreign" person has left then they usually return to their Stuck trait.

Some stuck traits include; Always hungry (will try and eat anything and everything to feel full (they never feel full)), always thirsty (will literally drown themselves trying to feel hydrated), checking their appearance (to see if they look different or if they look good), breaking something (even if it’s broken they will literally try and obliterate it, even when they succeed they can't stop), reading (many of them will re-read stuff forever or go through every book/something that looks like a book forever), etc.

(post-war ferals can also have this)

--

Next many ferals don't all have this stuck trait especially since many of them aren't pre-war, (most of the pre-war ferals are usually in blocked off areas or in the deep parts of the metro (in the case of Fallout 3)). So many of the waster ferals of my Fallout universe have what I'll call Emotional paralysis. This is where the ferals are stuck with a certain emotion that influences how they'll react with the world and the beings in it.

These ferals can be stuck with any emotion, but one of the most common one for them to have is anger as their emotional paralysis, which makes them act "feral". This anger can be caused by anything and these ferals with this stuck emotion will never stop being angry and violent. But while they have this, not all of them attack people, some ferals will, but others may instead be destructive and try and break things instead. These are seen as the 'most common' simply because they are the easiest to run into.

The second common stuck emotion is fear. Many ferals are fearful, they try and escape from anything and everything. Many of them will even avoid other ferals even though most ferals prefer to not attack each other or even try to pose a threat to one another. These ferals are rather common but hard to find as they try and hide so not many consider them common despite the fact that they are.

The third most common stuck emotion is sadness. There are many ferals that have this emotional paralysis as they have just given up. They are stuck with this sadness and many of them try and get themselves killed because of it. Then many of them don't even try and do anything instead just staying in one place to rot away as they neglect their body. These ferals are common as they can be seen in the oddest places as many of them wait for the sweet release of death.

(by the way I'm using the basic words for the most common Emotional paralysis ferals have as technically they all are much more complicated but many of them end up being shoved into the same architype/category)

(pre-war ferals can also have this)

--

Next some ferals don't have any of these and instead have something that I'll call the Follower syndrome. The name of this is exactly what you think it is. These ferals basically have no mind of their own and instead will end up all flocking to a certain feral, human, animal, or Super mutant. Then all these ferals will follow their leader and do whatever they 'command'. It's a lot like follow the leader for these ferals and many of them can be found traversing after their leaders in rather big packs or in a certain area.

This syndrome usually happens to those who are natural followers, were in a team that they were a follower of, or it can just happen.

(Pre-war ferals can have this)

--

Finally many ferals may also have (with the other types or not depending on the feral) what I'll call Survival mode. This is very much what you expect it to be. So, there are many ferals that will be in this mode and they will be always hostile but won't attack until the other being shows aggression towards them (there are certain exceptions so don't take this as a solid rule). They don't (usually) allow others to get too close to them and will be very animalistic, many of them also prefer to act almost completely like animals especially with being on all four limbs.

(Pre-war ferals can have this)

Honestly I'll probably create more things for ferals as I just love how interesting you can make them, especially with all the combinations and such.