#their purpose in life: to steal as much candy as possible

[elderemorune]

Beautiful IF.

This evening, my wife and I went to see a movie. This isn't anything unusual, we love the theater, and will take any excuse we can to go when she has time. Last we were able to get out just the two of us, it was to see Lisa Frankenstein, which I wholly recommend by the way. It was great, feminist as fuck, and frankly (see what I did) fun as hell.

But that's not why I'm here tonight.

Tonight, we're here for John Krasinski's IF.

IF is a movie that's part of a rare genre. The Family Film. You know, the kind that came out when millennials were children, like The Addams Family, or Hocus Pocus. A movie made for everyone to enjoy.

Now this is probably confirmation bias, since most of the fandoms I'm in are serious business, or at least they think they are, and such most of what I watch is grim, dark, or otherwise edgy. I won't deny being an edge marquis, I've been one since middle school and I'm not stopping now!

This movie, simply put, is beautiful. As we start to see more and more art about fighting (or subliminally supporting) fascism, it's like we shy away from beauty and instead want to focus wholly on how dark things are for us. And with a constant barrage of messaging like that, it's hard to stay hopeful, easy to stay mad.

Then we get a movie like IF. It takes a look at life through the most hopeful lens it can, a kid's. I don't want to get too into the story because my roommate reads this and I want them to see this as blindly as they can, but I'll tell you this: IF wants you to know that it's okay to be a kid.

But what does that mean? To be a kid? Is it to engage in wild flights of fancy where you imagine great, impossible things like an elephant made of cotton candy? Is it using play to cope with hard times? To be innocent? What is innocence anyway?

IF isn't trying to answer those questions at all. All IF cares about is that you know that it's okay to be a kid, no matter what.

For a super spoiler-free quick rundown, IF follows the adventures of Bea as she tries to help place imaginary friends (IFs) with new kids and find a new sense of purpose. Imagine (heh) Foster's Home for Imaginary (heh) Friends, but age Mac up a year and have her partner be a big furry purple guy (Hey! Like Eduardo!) named... Blue? Is this possibly an... GASP! AN EASTER EGG RIGHT THERE?! The big difference is that imaginary friends can't really be seen by anyone, except Bea and this other guy, Calvin. We'll talk about him later.

So let's talk about the rest of the movie, because there's not much more I can say without spoilers.

Just look at this man. He's distinct. You know EXACTLY what he's about, who he is, everything you need, just from looking at him.

And the same holds true of every other IF that you see (and don't) on screen. The team that worked on them did an immaculate job, perfectly capturing a child's imagination and how they see the world around them in these funny lil guys. Like how Blue is purple because his kid was colorblind, so he looked blue TO HIS KID, and how the robot IF was the kind of thing that a kid fond of taking things apart might imagine as their friend. Their personalities are all so clear, and when they're on screen they really steal the show.

Speaking of theft, let's talk the casting. Cailey Fleming plays Bea and gosh is her performance just the tops. Her first onscreen part was as young Rey in Star Wars: The Force Awakens (which I didn't watch because I just don't care much for Star Wars). This is the first place I've seen her work, and I one hundred percent believed she was actually John Krasinski's daughter.

Who, by the way, plays her dad. A lovable goofball who tries to find the fun in everything, he's sick (though we're never told with what) and is in New York for surgery. It's a big one, apparently, and there's a chance he won't wake up from the anesthesia, but he's determined to make it through. Really, what can I say about Krasinski's acting that fans of The Office haven't already said? This guy is the kind of dad I want to be when I eventually have kids.

Steve Carell voices Blue, the big purple IF on the poster. Sure, I guess if I had A critique of this movie, it's that it's another Steve Carell Funny Voice(TM) but fuck off, I had fun and it was clear he loved the project. I loved Blue, I thought he was funny and so sweet, and he was just so goddamned lovable that I genuinely had no notes.

Last, and he'd probably say least, Ryan Reynolds plays Calvin, a very handsome gentleman who can also see the IFs like Bea can. He started the effort to rehome IFs with new kids, but hasn't had much success at the time the movie starts. He's a bit of a curmudgeon, pessimistic that anything they do will work, and refers to his ability to see them as a curse, but he still does everything he can to help Bea place IFs in new homes. While still your typical wise-cracking Ryan Reynolds character, it was interesting to see him playing a character who's not about diving into things headfirst, instead giving us a more timid person who would really rather be asleep.

The cast all worked exceptionally well together. As I said, I came out of this movie truly believing that Fleming was Krasinski's daughter, and the chemistry between her and Reynolds was amazing. They really felt like friends, and I never once felt like their relationship was weird in any way. Carell and Fleming were also delightful together, with Blue serving as wonderful comedy relief.

Lastly, I guess is the score, right? I'm new to caring about this, so forgive me if I forget an important part.

Music was done by Michael Giacchino, who's score was frankly perfect. He captured the vibe perfectly, and I can honestly think of no higher praise for a film score. In particular, there was a scene that really hit me, and if the Adagio of Spartacus and Phrygia hadn't been the song used, I'm not sure I'd have cried near as hard.

So that's it. IF. A beautiful movie, a poignant message, and something that I think everyone could benefit from seeing.

Because what IF it's right? And it IS okay to be a kid?

That means anything is possible, doesn't it? What IF you COULD have a cotton candy elephant? Or a small army of Bionicle robots who are fiercely loyal to you as you lead them across Mata Nui to expunge the darkness? (Don't tell me you didn't do this. If you had Bionicle, you did this.)

What IF?

[wuxianxkexing]

So I have a theory about sex pollen. There's all of these fan fictions about sex pollen and I never thought much of it until I became a fan of Mu Qing. When it comes to fucking or dying I'm pretty sure Mu Qing would rather die than break his cultivation path, just because he's a stubborn brat like that. Plus while I love him I respect his decision to keep his virginity because he really hates to lose. So how could Mu Qing be saved from deadly sex pollen?

Well we know in the real world that any time our bodies are infected with viruses or bacteria that our immune system tries to kill it or get rid of it. Fever, throwing up, feeling dizzy, etc... are all signs of our immune system fighting it. Sex pollen makes you feverish and gives you the almost unresistable urge to mate. Now why would a pollen have this effect on our body? And why is the only known cure to have sex?

Now we could look to the animal kingdom. There are in fact certain species that will go into heat and die if they don't mate. Perhaps the sex pollen reactivates long dormant genes in the human genome, but I do not believe this to be the case because as far as I'm aware only females can die from going into heat without mating. The fact that both males and females can be killed by sex pollen rules this theory out.

Another theory could be that the sperm/vaginal discharge is a cure but I don't think this is the answer. It doesn't seem to matter who you have sex with, you don't have to have sex with the opposite gender and you possess at least one of the two naturally in your own body. It's not like you have to seek out a certain type of person either. Literally anyone will do, unlike with blood donations or fecal transplants were someone has to be specifically selected for the donation based off of criteria.

It also probably isn't the mix of chemicals your brain releases when you have sex either, or else you could masturbate it away but you can't.

However everything in nature/the Supernatural exists for a reason. What is the purpose of a sex pollen ever coming into creation in the first place? Why is it not sexually transmissible? This question is what lead me to my theory. It was created to throw your spiritual energy out of balance and make the host weaker to drain their spiritual power more easily. The pollen itself is very aggressive and fast acting, it will weaken your spiritual power and demons can take your spiritual power like stealing candy from a baby. We don't really know where or how these sex pollen creatures come from so what if after absorbing all of the spiritual power from their victim they just grow from their corpse? That would make sense from a natural perspective since some fungi do the same thing to ants. They'll sprout from the body of their victim and release spores that the wind will carry away so the babies can grow and carry out the rest of their life cycle elsewhere. This would explain the motivation behind attacking humans in the first place. Humans probably have the most spiritual power out of any living creature and they need that spiritual power to procreate.

The cure for it is sex but only because sex is the fastest way to transmit spiritual power. Your body will naturally do whatever it takes to try to fight off invaders, and in this case your body knows that it is in so much trouble that it needs more spiritual power or else it's game over. There are two possibilities here. Either the other person's spiritual power keeps you alive long enough for your own spiritual power to recover after being so badly depleted so you don't die or the other person's spiritual power will help your own spiritual power fight off the sex pollen that it wasn't strong enough to handle on its own or maybe both?

So how could Mu Qing beat this without having sex? Well in the modern world I think a blood transfusion would work (though the amount of blood needed would have to be found out). You are literally putting someone else's spiritual power inside the effected body so it can use the spiritual power immediately. But Mu Qing isn't in the modern world. However a strong and skilled cultivator might be able to do this. Cut a deep wound on their hand and the hand of the effected. While holding hands the cultivator could send every bit of spiritual power they have to spare into the other person. This should in theory give the victim the boost that they need in order to fight off the sex pollen because the skin barrier has been removed and similar to sex the spiritual power is able to immediately go to work since it's inside the body. We have skin to keep things out of our body that aren't supposed to be there so I do not believe that basic touch alone would be enough, especially not for the average person. The spiritual power would decrease too much trying to fight its way inside to help. I do think that you could probably kiss your way out of it too, but because sex pollen causes the body to crave sex because it wants to get rid of the sex pollen ASAP it would be a risky move for Mu Qing because he might end up accidentally having sex and ruining his cultivation. So for Mu Qing the blood route is pretty much the only way to go.

[sinisterexaggerator]

Since you are in a Hondo mood may I request headcanons for Hondo x pirate reader (not part of his crew) /both NSFW and SFW if you are up to it if not thats completely ok/

Hmm, slightly vague, but I will do my best. And since you did not specify, I will try to make this gender neutral.

SFW:

Your boss is a threat to the Ohnaka gang. Hondo meets you for the first time on the field. You are the one thing to catch his eye. He cannot begin to understand why you work for this scoundrel who is causing him such grief.

He finds your skills in battle to be impressive. Your wit and abilities at improvisation in tough situations is just the type of help he needs, and you are exceptional eye candy to boot.

Perhaps he openly flirts with you. Fraternizing with the enemy is not beneath him as we all know. He has a purpose, however: coax you away from your current employer-er, captain.

To your bosses chagrin, it works. You are labeled a deserter. Hondo is none the happier to have gotten one over on him, while at the same time gaining a new addition to his crew – and a most attractive one at that.

He finesses you with the grand tour of Florrum, talks up his wealth, and shows off his holdings. Of course, he also warns should you try to steal from him, or double-cross him, no matter how attractive you may be, your punishment will be tantamount to your offense.

Of course, he mostly says this for dramatic effect. But he also wants you to know he is not a push over, though a generous Pirate King he may be. Do not take Hondo Ohnaka for granted, for he will notice, and quite possibly applaud you, but from then on do not be mistaken, you are on his shit list.

NSFW:

Hondo had his eye on you from the start. He would be quick to work his magic. It does not take much for you to be convinced to join him for a bit of afterhours entertainment.

Should he desire to be alone, yet have access to booze and music, he clears his extravagant hall and forbids anyone to step foot inside until the morning.

Here you may dance, drink, and sing songs together or act a fool. He would be curious about your personality, how you behave outside an audience, or how you might find him once you are by yourselves.

Do not be surprised he lays his charms on thick. He is an excellent storyteller, and his jokes are on point nearly every time. He regales you with tales of his past. You drink in everything he has to offer, including alcohol.

One thing leads to another, and before you know it, you are flat on your back and Hondo is fucking you against one of the many large tables in his fortress.

Oh, it is sloppy. He says dirty little nothings in your ear, slathered with compliments and romantic notions, putting you high on a pedestal.

His touch is temperate. Gentle. Although, this man is a switch and can change his tactics at a moment’s notice should you ask for or require it. He tests the waters, should he not be so far gone he still has hold of all his senses, treating you as royalty though he is considered to be king.

Kisses pummel your flesh, his lips soft and luxurious against your skin. His deeply resonate voice is like music to your ears. He is wholly attentive to your every need.

You have never been treated so well in your life, Hondo making you climax over and over. Should you have any difficulty reaching your peak, Hondo focuses all his efforts in such a way that it is reminiscent of solving a puzzle or diagnosing a problem until a solution can be found.

This moment is about you. Hondo will drive you to the edge and have you begging for more. He is an incredible lover, and it will be hard for any to compare once you have had a taste.

It is suffice to say you will not be going anywhere anytime soon. You are his, and happy to follow in his footsteps.  

[snoozingredpanda]

Random Facts/Headcannons (Benni, Nox)

GN!Reader

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, depression, abuse, swearing

—

Benni

• Girl’s addicted to apple juice. She will not go one day without a cup and will get grumpy if she runs out. Funny enough, she hates apples.

• She prefers candy to chocolate. Chocolate is too rich for her, and would rather just have a starburst or something.

• As I said before, is terrified of spiders. However, she will not kill them because she feels really guilty about ending anything’s life, even a small fly.

• Benni’s favourite film is A Dog’s Purpose. She bawls her eyes out whenever she watches it, the same with any other sad films with dogs.

• She is allergic to oregano and cats.

• She took an eight week language course just to learn how to tell her French neighbour to fuck off and stop stealing her mail.

• She accidentally walked into a nudist beach when taking the kid she was babysitting out on a walk. She has never run quicker in her life.

• Benni had a gecko called Herbert but it died cause she fed it too much.

• She has the urge to bite people a lot. Dunno why.

• She gets shy whenever sex scenes come on in films. Even if she’s alone, she’ll blush and hide her face in her hands.

• She’s a morning person.

• Works out a lot and eats as healthy as possible. She likes to take care of herself, but won’t mind skipping a day at the gym or eating pizza when she can’t be bothered to cook.

• Photography is everything to her. It’s what makes her happiest, snapping shots of beautiful landscapes and brilliant moments. She’s the top of her class and has even had famous photographers showing interest in her unique skill to show certain perspectives in a single picture.

• That being said, Benni hates having photos taken of herself. She says that she wants to only capture pretty things, which is stupid cause she’s the prettiest fucker alive fight me-

• Team Jacob.

• Ok that’s enough miscellaneous stuff.

• Now the more sad bit

• Benni struggles with alcohol. It’s been a problem for her since she was around 14; she needed a way to cope with her negative feelings and unfortunately alcohol was at easy access. She quickly became addicted and even though nowadays she drinks nowhere near as much, she still has days where she can’t help herself. She wakes up the next day hungover and guilty and ends up moping around for ages.

• She really wants to change. She manages to get sober for a few weeks, then falls of the wagon and ends up getting really depressed over it which makes it even worse.

• It’s not even like she’s an aggressive drunk or is problematic for the people around her. She just gets so down about everything that she starts to get certain thoughts which she knows she shouldn’t be having. It just makes her want to drink more for those few hours that numbs her mind.

• She’s lonely.

• She’s obsessive.

• She gets attached easily.

• If only there was a willing person who likes her yandere tendencies and can distract her from the temptation of alcohol…

• *cough cough* you right? *aggressive wink*

Nox

• Nox is left handed.

• She loves horror films. Especially gory ones. She’s never really grossed out, but can’t stand when there’s animals involved cause wtf kill the humans not the dog

• She works as a bartender but wants to do something else in the future, but doesn’t know what.

• She dislikes pretty much everyone just because.

• She has heterochromia, one eyes is a deep blue, the other an icy blue. It makes her stand out, which she absolutely hates.

• Nox has dyslexia and is ashamed of it.

• She can’t cook, but can bake. And she can bake good.

• She doesn’t like bright lights, or loud noises. Fireworks are a nightmare.

• She has an incredible spice tolerance. Whilst others would be sobbing, she’d just be munching away unaware she’d just consumed three ghost peppers.

• She’s terribly embarrassed about it, but she absolutely loves gardening. It’s just so calming, and she loves looking after her little flowers and veggies and cares for them so much they are her babies do not touch or she’ll put sand in your bed-

• Nox loves all animals, big or small. She even has a owl that she rescued when he was rejected by his mother. She named him Merlin. She doesn’t call him her pet, as she lets him come and go from her apartment as he pleases. She says it’s not fair to keep a wild animal inside as if it’s a budgie.

• She loves to play video games. She’s very good at them too. Her favourites are Pokémon, Cuphead and the Resident Evil series.

• She’s extremely ticklish. Like, to the point where if anyone were to touch her neck, she’d screech out and claw their eyes out.

• She prefers cats over dogs.

• Her brother’s name is Vincent. As much as she denies it, the two are very close and he’s probably the only person she feels comfortable around.

• She doesn’t really like kids. They’re annoying.

• She is not a morning person. And by that I mean she will backhand you if you try to wake her up before 9 am.

• Ironically, she has insomnia, so when she finally is able to get a bit of rest, and you wake her… she’s grumpy af.

• Nox and her brother were put in an abusive orphanage after their parents passed, and she had a horrible time there. That’s probably the main reason to her hateful and aggressive attitude, and her hephephobia.

• Nox is convinced she’ll never fall in love. She’s convinced she doesn’t need anyone.

• To translate: she’s scared.

• But she just needs a ray of sunshine to shine into her life.

• Could that be you?

[60scig]

7/28/24

You were just as lonely as I, except you had been in the city your entire life while I had landed mere weeks ago. I hadn’t gotten used to my grey snot, feeling myself smoke the equivalent of two cigarettes from the city air alone. I was overly conscious that I appeared ‘too American’; I mumbled French with the friendliest smile I could muster, only to be met with expressions that I could only interpret as annoyance.

Perhaps that was what you found most attractive about me. The exotic feeling of being with a clueless young American girl who nearly choked herself to death the first time you offered me an actual cigarette was thrilling to you. Leading me through metro lines and urban sidewalks, speaking fluently for me to others who took you seriously and looked at me as if I were nothing but une petite fille was an enjoyable pastime for you. Snickers and words I could barely understand made my head fall to stare down at my boots. You reassured me that they meant well.

You walked me home from university chaque Jeudi; the only day of the week when we were off at the same time. Really, I had finished my last class an hour before you did–I hid myself away in another corridor, perched on a seat until I heard the echoes of your student voices spilling from the lecture room. I didn’t care who stared at me, the only one heading into the room while the rest flocked out, too enveloped by the pounding of my heart as I grew impatient to see you.

I felt less alone on those days. We were both quiet; tucking one hand in the pocket of your coat as an obvious attempt to maintain boundaries between the two of us while the other held a cigarette to your lips. I felt my cheeks burn; I wanted to touch you, to pull your hand from its pocket and feel it wrap around my own. You apologized for smoking, to which I would always shake my head. I didn’t mind; you looked handsome.

You would toss the cigarette before we entered la station de métro, but the smell of tobacco mixed with your cologne as I stood close to you on the train, purposely knocking the tip of my boot against your loafers every now and then to see if you would give me that warm, amused smile that I loved so much. We had no conversation; the car was too quiet for me to raise my head and speak a single word out of embarrassment of others hearing me. Once we got off, I was the one who now took the lead, always a couple steps in front of you as I led you to my small apartement. 

You would always chuckle at the sight of my home. ‘C’est la taille parfaite pour une fille comme toi’ you told me, to which I would turn around and never fail to be surprised over just how large you looked standing in my living room. Like Alice in Wonderland, it almost felt like an illusion–I was the rabbit stealing you away into my own strange world. You drank tea from my pastel colored mugs, perched between decorative stuffed animals on the couch. String light hanging from the walls dimly illuminated your face, accentuating your sharp jaw and large French nose.

That was the exact setting the first time you kissed me. I still hadn’t gotten to hold your hand, but they were now out of your pockets as the coat was discarded onto the floor, large palms trailing over my abdomen. You tasted of Earl Grey and tobacco, and I savored your lips like a piece of candy. My lonely body craved nothing but you, keeping you as close as possible until you finally pulled away after the strip lights had become stars, and your body glowed like some divine being as you loomed above me. Your praise and reassurance was intoxicating; my head spun as you spoke, simply listening to the beautiful sounds rather than the substance of the words as you pulled your slacks back on, tucking the fabric of your shirt back into your waistband.

You would take me to dinner afterwards; whatever I was feeling, you would tell me. Sometimes I would purposely ask for something expensive, while other times I wanted nothing more but to sit across from you at a McDonald’s. Whatever it was, you agreed, then took me back home before pressing a kiss to the top of my hair and wishing me bonne nuit. 

When I returned to the states after the holidays, you slowly vanished from my life. I prepared myself for it to an extent; you told me that being single was liberating–that relationships were suffocating. I simply replied with a hum, to which he would ask if I were upset about it. ‘Non.’ 

‘Je t’aime vraiment’ he spoke breathlessly against my lips. He could’ve been lying straight through his teeth, but his beautiful French made me believe anything as if it were a spell.

Perhaps I was Alice, stolen away into a Wonderland filled with discarded cigarettes and drinking cappuccinos on an empty stomach. He was the rabbit, with invisible ink reading eat me across his chest. When I think back on it, sprawled in the bed of my childhood home now with his complete absence, sometimes I do wonder if it were a dream. I had never even held his hand to make sure he was real.

[destinysbounty]

Oh yeah no im definitely not done talking about Lloyd and Zane's dynamic in my elemental roulette au. Heres some more brainrot for the road

The basic gist of this au is that instead of fire, earth, ice, and lightning, the elements of creation are fire, earth, water, and air. So now the starting ninja lineup consists of Kai, Cole, Nya, and Morro. Of course, Jay and Zane do eventually join the team as well, and they are still elemental masters, but their trajectories are a teensy bit different. For instance, Jay starts out as Samurai X

In the original canon, Wu recruited Zane while in the process of tracking down masters of the core elements of creation. But in this au, ice isnt an element of creation, which means Wu has no reason to seek him out. This means Zane stays homeless, which means he and Lloyd end up homeless at the same time

So yeah Zane and Lloyd cross paths and bond over their shared circumstance, then decide to stick together

Zane has amnesia, he doesnt know who he is or where he came from and ultimately doesnt have much direction in life, but finally finds a sense of purpose in looking after Lloyd. So he decides to kinda just follow around this weird feral child he found

Lloyd tries to maintain a strictly professional villain-henchman relationship at first, but quickly grows very fond of his new buddy and a strange connection fosters between them

So now youve got Lloyd, a chaotic 10-year-old who is determined to steal candy, take over the world, and be a general punk/emo nuisance...and then theres his supposed henchman, a chronically confused amnesiac robot who bakes cookies in his spare time

Lloyd is his usual edgy, black-cape-wearing self whose main objective is to steal candy, and Zane is...well, hes confused, but hes got the spirit

"Yes, Lloyd, of course you can steal candy, but make sure to steal some vegetables too! Youre a growing boy, after all :)"

In this au, Zane doesnt remember his real name (for a number of reasons i wont bother you with). So Lloyd naturally takes it upon himself to give him one. It ends up being a kind of Jason Funderberker situation, where Lloyd comes up with new names for Zane pretty much on a daily basis, but all the names have the vibe of a 10-year-old boy naming his first hamster. So the ninja are like, "hey wait a minute, i thought your henchman's name was Carl???" And Lloyd just goes, "uh yeah, but that was *yesterday*. Today his name is Burgermeister 3000. Times change. Keep up, losers."

Jay: dont you hate having this kid call you a different horrible name every single day?

Zane: i didnt used to have any name at all. Now i have 50. This is an improvement

Id like to think Lloyd gets very disappointed when he discovers that his friend's name is Zane of all things. He thinks its a dumb name, and only begrudgingly uses it bc he knows how important this is to Zane

The falcon still leads them to the Bounty, but at this point only Lloyd and Zane are living there so now theyve got a super cool Evil LairTM. Also the falcon lives with them as their funky robot pet, and its all rather wholesome in a bizarre, unhinged sort of way

There are a lot of possibilities for how and why Lloyd releases the Serpentine in this au, and I havent made any conclusive decisions yet, but one of my favorites is this:

Zane: what the one thing i told you not to do while i was out running errands? Lloyd: release the serpentine

Zane: and what did you do??

Lloyd: ...release the serpentine...

I wont go into a lot of detail about the Serpentine and whatnot since a lot of it is still undecided, but for now i just really like the concept of kid!Lloyd and Zane getting up to shenanigans. Also, while we're here - when Lloyd confronts the Ice Emperor in ns11, he tries to snap him out of the Scroll's control by reminding him of all the adventures they shared together back when it was just the two of them. Someone hold me while i weep

[jayktoralldaylong]

It wasn't just about the candy for Xue Yang, or perhaps it was. Xue Yang was a little boy who lashed out because someone broke a promise and his finger. He hadn't been planning to survive his attack on the Chan family. He was going to get revenge one way or another, and while his reason might seem petty to most, for little orphan Xue Yang, candy was his everything. It was his dream to be given candy. It was just unfortunate that he was born a genius. So it went from him killing one man and his family, to massacring an entire clan. He must have been shocked when all the screaming and killing ended and he found himself somehow still alive. Yes, he killed women and children because Xue Yang had never been raised with a sense of responsibility. He didn't see them as people that should be protected because not a single person had protected him as a child. They'd run over him like he was dirt on the ground so he treated women and children in his life the exact same way. As enemies. Enemies that just were not strong enough to kill him yet. He couldn't let them get away. After all, he'd also been a little boy and no one had cared, so why should he care now?

He won for the first time in his life standing over the massacred bodies of that clan and it must have felt fucking great. He'd come from literally zero to having bested an entire clan and he lost his mind with joy. However, Xue Yang now found himself with a new problem. He'd won. He no longer had an enemy. The only thing he'd learnt to do was steal, kill and destroy. What was he to do now that he no longer had anyone to channel his hatred to? What was the meaning of his life?

He moved on, killing and stealing and ran into Xiao Xingchen who reignited his purpose of living. Xiao Xingchen defeated him. Xue Yang tasted the dirt once more but this time he tasted it with a smile. Once again he had ambition! He was going to ruin Xiao Xingchen because that's what enemies did. But there was such an annoying problem. Xiao Xingchen didn't have any family. He couldn't take the same approach if there was no one to attack so what was he to do? Well, Xingchen's friend had a family, Song Lan had a whole clan and Xingchen loved him with his whole heart. So now, Xue Yang finally had a goal.

His wickedness had also matured into manipulation and torture. He understood that he'd killed his first enemy way too fast. He couldn't make the same mistake with the second. So he murdered Song Lan's entire family and took his eyes, but he kept Song Lan and Xingchen alive so there would be someone to chase him around. Someone to have fun with. When he got beat up to the point of death Xue Yang would have likely accepted that he'd played too much with humanity and he was finally getting his due. Imagine his surprise when he opened his eyes to see Xingchen had saved him. That was a first.

Of course, Xingchen was still his enemy. His enemy couldn't see him and didn't recognize him so Xue Yang realised he was safe. He would mess with Xingchen and take advantage of him because that's what enemies do, and they were enemies, weren't they? Xue Yang didn't notice at all when his feelings towards Xingchen started to change because the only thing he'd ever felt towards anyone was hate. So how could it possibly be that he did not hate Xingchen? He didn't think it possible at all....until Xingchen was gone....and it didn't feel great. It didn't feel great at all. His second ultimate victory....hurt like hell and Xue Yang didn't understand why. He didn't know why instead of smiling when Xingchen hit the ground, he only wanted to cry. He didn't know why he clung so much to that stupid nice horrid blind man who'd helped him like an idiot, a fool. Someone who was always nice to the world was sure to get hurt, just like the world had hurt him. So why had he been the one to hurt Xingchen? Why did it hurt that he'd hurt him? The first person in his life to gift him candy without wanting a single thing in return.

For the first time in his life, Xue Yang found himself with a wound that he could not cure with medicine or bandages, a pain that refused to go away no matter how many victories he won or innocents he slaughtered. That one wound in his heart brought about the end for the little boy who'd just wanted candy.

[beevean]

I’m glad that people appreciated my ramblings on The Doom, so it’s only fair to give my attention to its even more hated sibling, Lost Impact! I think it’s also very underrated when it comes to Shadow’s characterization.

First of all, not related to Lost Impact as a stage, but I have a severe pet peeve with the cutscene before it:

This is not Shadow admitting he’s a candy-stealing asshole because he’s Just That Edgy. It’s a translation error! The “which” refers to the implicit “it’s easy like taking candy from a baby”, not to the comparison itself. This was a seriously mangled sentence, but it’s easily comparable with the Japanese version. So yes, mock it all you want for sounding stupid and because Shadow turned off his braincells, but mock it for the right reasons, Shadow has never stolen a candy from a baby nor does he endorse it >:(

(between this and Sonic’s “we’re on our way to the ARK, so I guess that means we’re going too” from the previous cutscene, it looks like the translator had a bad day...)

Anyway, off to the actual level.

This is one of the two stages that have, for lack of a better description, an unbalanced set of missions: there are only a Neutral mission and a Hero mission, with the Dark one missing. It’s the mirror image of The ARK, which only has a Neutral and a Dark mission. Keeping our analysis focused on Lost Impact, it makes perfect sense:

first of all, from a meta standpoint, you reach this point by being mostly/consistently good, so it would be jarring to turn “evil” at the last second;

secondly, unlike The Doom, Shadow’s flashback is natural, therefore his memories and thoughts are for once free from Black Doom’s or Eggman’s influence. This also can be seen as proof that, if Shadow is not corrupted by external forces, he’s a genuinely good guy at heart - even his Neutral mission is described as checking on Prof. Gerald, not escaping. Very heartwarming, and it ties well to how the Last Story, where Shadow is unquestionably a hero, is the canon one.

Lost Impact takes place during an incident with the Artificial Chaos escaping the laboratory and wrecking havok on the colony. While nowhere near as horrible as the G.U.N. raid, it’s still a stressful, potentially dangerous situation... and once again, the music doesn’t fit at all.

However, the vibes are completely different from The Doom’s theme. The latter is cold and clinical, with steady synth drums, representing the ARK as a place where scientists work for the betterment of mankind and that did not deserve to be assaulted; Lost Impact’s music, however, is nostalgic, sweet and melancholic, dominated by a piano, strings and chimes, and with an erratic drumbeat. It’s Maria’s theme: the theme of a sick girl who nonetheless was full of hope and love, that Shadow cared very much for. She’s your only ally here: of course the music is dedicated to her.

Despite the Artificial Chaos supposedly being “on a rampage”, the atmosphere is one of the most tranquil in the game. No lasers, no aliens, no war... in fact, this is one of the only two levels in which the G.U.N. soldiers don’t attack Shadow, the other being Westopolis. Of course they don’t: this flashback takes place during the halcyon days of the ARK, Shadow is not a target yet, and it’s possible that G.U.N. had a friendly working relationship with the scientists aboard the ARK and the Ultimate Life Form. Which just makes The Doom and its extremely aggressive enemies hurt even more...

(it also makes the lack of care in the enemies’ A.I. hurt even more, but that’s another matter)

And to round up the comparisons with The Doom, it's worth pointing out that you can't play both of these stages in one path. If you get to the point where Black Doom forces Shadow to relive the day Maria died, he won't be able to remember the peaceful life with her before tragedy struck, and viceversa. The two flashbacks have vastly different purposes: one was to corrupt (although you can still steer Shadow the right way), the other is to quietly reminisce before the final fight, or before Shadow discovers something he would have rather not known...but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Now, unlike The Doom which shows an event we already saw before, we can't know what really happened during the Artificial Chaos rampage. Did Shadow stay behind to help, or did he prefer to leave matters in the soldiers’ hands and go find Gerald? It's possible that both events happened one after the other, but for gameplay reasons, in the level the missions are mutually exclusive. What’s interesting are the stages, and the endings, both missions send you to.

Shadow can remember that he ignored Maria’s pleads and went straight to the Professor - in gameplay terms, the Goal Ring. By not going the extra mile, Shadow separates himself from Sonic, and has a painful encounter with the G.U.N. commander, who reveals the awful truth: Shadow was created by Black Doom, and the raid in which Maria died happened because he was created in the first place. This is a huge hit to his entire sense of self-worth, and he develops a big guilt complex, as if it was his fault he was born. He’s forced to traverse the collapsing ARK, his old home falling apart like his convictions: depending on who he helps, he either decides to exiliate himself aboard the ARK, or...

There is no good fate for Shadow if he remembers giving in to his callousness.

(side note: this also happens if you lose the race against Sonic in Space Gadget, which I find darkly hilarious. Either you win or you give in to existential dread, Shadow!)

It’s a completely different story if Shadow did, in fact, make the effort to hunt down all 35 Artificial Chaos to make Maria happy (and what an effort it is). He remembers Maria’s death, but for once it’s not in a “the horrible humans hurt me and they shall pay” way: the focus is on how she asked him to make everyone happy, a promise he has held dear ever since the ending of SA2. Shadow sticks with Sonic on landing, and both of them teleport to the Black Comet, with the Black Arms to their last legs and ready to face the big boss Black Doom. No G.U.N. soldiers or mechs in sight, because, aside from the fact that the aliens are losing big time, Shadow is at peace with humanity. Not only that, but he is completely confident in himself and who he is: he hasn’t given in to Black Doom’s manipulation, he did not delude himself to be artificial, and he does not feel guilty for existing. Even the music is oddly vibrant and upbeat for being a final level theme: it’s not about the epic showdown that is going to take place, it’s about Shadow’s state of mind. He’s Shadow the Hedgehog, he has finally accepted it, and he’s going to keep the promise he made to Maria.

... or he can turn into an asshole to flex on Sonic. Everyone has their coping mechanisms I guess :V

Also, random trivia: Maria has a very odd idea of “cute”.

They killed me too many times in Adventure 2 for me to find them cute, sorry.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Lemongrab’s tragedy

Lemongrab hated himself so much because of his failure to live up to the role his “God-Creator” gave him, his failure to live up to her as her heir, his failure to connect to other people or to her.  Being incapable of fulfilling such an important role, the heir to freaking God, destroyed him. When PB tried to offer him help, he rejected it in anguish. He was overcome with his inability to accept himself, the ultimate failure.  

He ended up imitating her in a number of ways. At first he stared at her candy people... which is something PB herself was doing with her cameras in the episode.  He made a “reconditioning” chamber, which reflects her dungeons. He made a sound sword - once again, something she would probably make. If it isn’t literally one of her gifts to him.  Lemongrab had catcher’s mitts on pedestals around the castle. Lemongrab wanted to “play catch” to relate with his mother, but didn’t know what catcher’s mitts were for. 

When she made a clone of him, he was overjoyed to finally have someone similar to himself, someone who understands his “lemon styles”.   

He didn’t stop there though. Using the formula Bubblegum left behind, Lemongrab was given the opportunity to do something that would connect him to his creator, AND give him more companions - Play God.  But Lemongrab was unable to play God responsibly. He was unable to stop himself from bringing candy to life, unable to show restraint. He blamed PB, because he had told himself it was all in her plan for him to gain this knowledge, but he was unable to recognise she made a mistake, or hold himself accountable for his actions. The episode is titled “All Your Fault” because Lemongrab’s complicated feelings about imitating his god-creator and causing a catastrophe are the most important part of the ep. He tries to demonstrate superiority by having Lemonjon invade the Candy Kingdom, and bring all of THEIR candy to life.  

In the end, Lemonjob had to sacrifice himself for Lemongrab’s mistake. And Lemongrab is punished for his failure by having the secret to life erased from his brain. But, it is stressed at this point, Bubblegum doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with their hearts. Everything they do is born from their own decisions, not from an innate lack of feeling.  

Unfortunately, it turned out Lemongrab and his clone were not identical. Because of the bad experiences Lemongrab had prior to the clone being born, he was more ferocious, hostile, inconsiderate of others. Lemonwhite wants little Lemonsweets to go to bed, while Lemongrab wants him to keep on dancing, against the will of his brother. And when shit hits the fan, Lemongrab turns against his brother, devouring him. 

After this point, Lemongrab’s desire to imitate Bubblegum and prove himself becomes more twisted. He turns the lemon castle into a “royal society”, giving titles to all of his people and having royal dinners and events. But his people are all still lemons, so it is imperfect. And he is now torturing them. He has become completely sociopathic, taking pleasure in making others suffer because of his inner turmoil. 

Lemongrab hates Lemonhope because the boy has the potential to be the heir he never could be. Lemonhope can play the harp, and he has the hope of the other lemons behind him. And, devastatingly, Lemonhope immediately wins the approval of Princess Bubblegum - she perhaps sees him as the only pure good thing to come out of Lemongrab’s history. So when Lemongrab sees her kidnap him, he absolutely loses his mind. After everything he has done, all of his greatest plans, he is unable to earn her love, and he turns to blind violence. But she still gets away with Lemonhope, so unable to hurt the Princess for rejecting him or Lemonhope for stealing his dreams, he hurts all the other lemon people instead. 

Lemonhope represents light and dark, sweet and sour. I could write an entirely separate post of similar length on him. To put it short, because Lemongrab was HIS God, he had more than enough Lemon qualities to cause friction with Bubblegum, and he was unwilling to be part of her design. But he had enough light and enough fear of Lemongrab to not want to become him. Anyway after spending a while coming to terms with his position he decides he must go back and blow Lemongrab up so that he can escape his own inner battle. 

Lemongrab is stitched back together with his clone, in a final symbolic act of being Frankenstein’s Monster, and they become Lemongray. Lemongrab, now defeated, of two minds, and having faced some of his worst nightmares, now resigns to being a peaceful antisocial ruler of Castle Lemongrab,  His sad tale becomes a part of Candy Kingdom underground history, part of Bonnie’s mythology among the banana guards.  

He is still discontent with his life because he is no closer to finding purpose. He travels to the Mountain on what is essentially a suicide mission, to become part of a greater whole, but ends up on the path to self discovery.

He is faced with three choices. He can follow his longstanding desire to relate to the God-Creator. He can try to vanquish Lemonhope, his greatest usurper. Or he can try to repair his biggest mistake. And he chooses the latter, which greatly demonstrates how Lemongrab has the potential to change.     At the end of the episode, he defies Matthew, throwing pieces of Lemonjon into him, which causes him to explode - the sheer ego that Lemon represents is too much for the  Matthew. 

Lemongrab has accepted his place in this world. 

Following this point, he started to make connections with others, and escape from the shadow of his mother he had placed upon himself. 

What I always found particularly tragic about his tale is that he kept zigzagging from blaming himself entirely for what he was, to blaming Bubblegum for making him that way and rejecting him. He revered her as his God-Creator all this time. He never realised, at any point, that the reason he couldn’t connect to her was just as much because of her flaws as it was because of his.  

He didn’t realise she fucked up by leaving the formula behind, and it never clicked that the way she treated him was imperfect or bad. Bubblegum is basically his neglectful teen mom, and had she been a better creator, she should have reached out to him regardless, but she is far from perfect. If she is a God, she is one who doesn’t look after her subjects too well.   Lemongrab doomed himself to failure from the very start by trying to follow her footsteps or connect with her, because he didn’t understand her at all.  

Fortunately, now that he has had time to chill out, and she has actually done some reflection on her past mistakes, it’s possible for them to forge a connection. It’s certainly not going to be what Lemongrab wants it to be. Bubblegum still fundamentally does not understand him, and probably never will. But Lemongrab is notably by her side at the battle for Golb. There is a really funny joke which recognises their relationship. “UNMAKE ME”. Remember that one?  But what I found more touching was this scene in Diamonds and Lemons. While it’s technically not canon, it is supposed to serve as a reflection of their changing relationship. Bubblegum sees that Lemongrab needs help. She reluctantly tries to help him out of his breakdown and he actually accepts her help. It’s not perfect, but it’s baby steps. 

Anyway, now that Lemongrab is on his path to self discovery, learning what he wants to do, we can hope he has a decent, lemony future. 

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.2

Also yes this is a 5 part story arc, why do you ask, no I’m not “avoiding real life work”

Main Chat

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT AN UNGODLY HOUR FOR THE SAKE OF SOME JEWELRY AND FORCED INTO AN ADVENTURE

Wu Xie: And we are just so grateful you are above all that.

Zhang Qiling: You were fully awake and insisted we pack and go as soon as possible in case there was, and I quote, “more weird shit happening we can cash in on.”

Wu Xie: I mean it’s kind of interesting that the Zhang family sent a car for us. We could have driven. So what is going on there, I wonder?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW FOR A PARANOID AND CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT YOU STILL RADIATE OBLIVIOUS BAMBI ENERGY

HATE TO BE THE ADMIRAL ACKBAR HERE BUT ITS DEF A TRAP MY BOY

WHY DO U THINK WE ARE MESSAGING AND NOT TALKING DUMMY

WERE YOU IN A TOMB ON THE DAY THEY TAUGHT PPL STRANGER DANGER

BUT NO NO YOU WERE ALL “LETS GET IN THE VAN WITH THE FREE CANDY AND PUPPIES I BET WE’RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS”

THIS IS THE LAST STRAW IM LOJACKING YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME, SHOULDVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO

Zhang Qiling: I agree, in this particular case, with Pangzi. You should not have gotten in their vehicle while we were still inside the house. It forced us to follow you into the van to prevent separation, and they seemed to be expecting that. I don’t know whether Zhang Rishan intended this, but I don’t trust him.

Wu Xie: :( I got excited and didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.

Wang Pangzi: DONT YOU GIVE US THE BIG EYES WE ARE IMMUNE

MOSTLY

SPEAKING OF IMMUNE ITS REALLY FUCKIN COLD IN HERE AND UR STILL SICK, PUT YOUR JACKET ON STUPID

Wu Xie: oh relax, I’m fine. No fever at all today, remember? I feel a lot better, too.

Wang Pangzi: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE XIAO GE INTERVENE

Zhang Qiling: It is odd to say this, but Pangzi is right again. You are barely back on your feet and could easily get worse again. Wu Xie. Jacket. Now.

Wu Xie: Oh fine. Teaming up on me, I see. Happy now?

Wang Pangzi: FUCKING ECSTATIC. NOW BACK TO HOW WE MAY BE PULLING A LI CU

Wu Xie: If it is an abduction, it wouldn’t be them moving against the whole Wu family—not with Uncle Erbai in charge. Zhang Rishan strikes me as someone who doesn’t make a move unless he is sure of his plan, and this is all a bit last-minute to be a big shift. Besides, they let Xiao Ge keep his sword and we still have all our phones.

Wang Pangzi: TOOK AWAY MY EXPLOSIVES THO THE BASTARDS

Zhang Qiling: In fairness, you were waving them around and yelling that if they tried anything it was going to be “yippeekiyay motherfucker all up in this bitch.”

Wang Pangzi: IT SOUNDS LESS COOL COMING FROM YOU. I THINK I SEE THE TEAHOUSE?

Wu Xie: me too. That’s Zhang Rishan on the steps. This must be urgent. Everybody stay shiny.

Zhang Qiling: I will be getting out first. Wu Xie in the middle, Pangzi at the rear.

Wang Pangzi: AND WHAT A VIEW;)

An hour later…

Main Chat

Wu Xie: Is everyone okay? I tried knocking but nothing is getting through, these are some solid walls.

Wu Xie: guys???

Wang Pangzi: OOPS PHONE WAS ON SILENT AND I WAS BUSY YELLING AT THE CEILING

IM PRESENT AND PISSED OFF

Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I was trying to break down the door.

Wang Pangzi: SO THIS MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE

Wu Xie: fuck Pangzi, I know, okay??

I’m an idiot, I’m so fucking stupid. It’s not like it’s the first or fiftieth time I’ve put you two in danger, either.

Wang Pangzi: HEY HEY WHOA NOW

STOP SAYING RUDE SHIT ABOUT MY FRIEND

ITS GONNA BE OKAY

DESPITE KNOWING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA I STILL COULDNT PREDICT HOW MUCH CHAOTIC LUCK THIS FAMILY HAS

DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HEI XIAZI IS RIGHT ABOUT THINGS

Zhang Qiling: I’m sorry. This is my fault. My line has a ruthlessly pragmatic streak and they’ve clearly wanted to test us separately to see why the necklace reacted to our arrival like that. It does not excuse Zhang Rishan trapping us in these separate rooms.

Wang Pangzi: UHH BITCH I SAID THIS FAMILY NOT YOUR FAMILY

THIS AINT ABOUT THEM

YOUR FAMILY IS ON MY SHIT LIST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

THIS FAMILY MEANT US OBVS

UGH ANY SIGN OF THE BASTARDS?

Zhang Qiling: no. Wu Xie?

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, answer me.

Wang Pangzi: WU XIE

TIANZHEN

PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE DAMNIT YOU'RE SCARING XIAOGE

Zhang Qiling: I’m going to try breaking down the door again.

Wu Xie: Hello, Wang Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. My apologies for the rather inhospitable circumstances, but this seemed expedient considering the unknown qualities of the necklace. I could not be sure who was causing what, or what could happen next, and thus have temporarily set you in separate rooms for the sake of everyone’s safety.

Wang Pangzi: WTF GIVE HIM BACK HIS FUCKIN PHONE ZHANG RISHAN I KNOW ITS YOU YOU PRETENTIOUS ANTIQUE

WE DESTROYED THIS PLACE BEFORE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN

Zhang Qiling: Your concerns for everyone’s safety are noted. Thank you for whatever you believe you’ve done right here.

Now. If you release us immediately and return Wu Xie to us, we will consider leaving without direct personal retribution.

Wang Pangzi: WHAT HE SAID AND ALSO YOU SUCK

Wu Xie: I regret that this has happened, I hope to make it up to you in the future. For the purpose of today’s needs, however—I will have my men escort the two of you out if you so desire, but unfortunately Wu Xie will need to stay until we have finished examining him.

Wang Pangzi: EXAMINING??? YOU FUCKING PERV HANDS OFF HE MAY BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL BUT HIS DANCE CARD IS SPOKEN FOR

I SWEAR I DID NOT GO THROUGH TEN YEARS OF THIS STARCROSSED CLUSTERFUCK FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND STEAL MY FRIENDS BF

Wu Xie: There is no call for rudeness. He will not be harmed. The artifact was responding to him directly. It has not lit up like this in over 200 years, and I need to understand why it is responding, and responding to someone who is not our kin, which it has never done before. This could have implications for everyone in my family if it could protect someone at the right moment.

Wang Pangzi: OKAY BUT CONSIDERING OUR TRACK RECORD IN THIS BUILDING AND THE SITUATION AT HAND Y’ALL ARE ABOUT TO NEED PROTECTION

Wu Xie: The testing would be going better if Wu Xie wasn’t worrying himself unnecessarily over where you both are, it’s making our readings difficult.

Wang Pangzi: OH GEE SO SORRY YOUR KIDNAPPING VICTIMS ARENT THRILLED TO BE HERE TO SAMPLE YOUR CREEPY JEWELRY BOX BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM

Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan. I appreciate that you must think of our family first in your decisions. As must I. I hope you can appreciate what that means for decisions I make.

Wang Pangzi: HEHEHE SO TRUE BESTIE

YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GOTH TODAY BUDDY BOY

Zhang Qiling: A compromise: we stay with him as you run your tests. That will calm him and assuage Pangzi’s concerns and prevent me from…testing the limits of your lifespan.

Wu Xie: I accept that this may temporarily impact our relations, but am hopeful that you will come to understand that sometimes I need to make certain choices for this family that are…difficult. I will come to let you—One moment. Something seems to be happening.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: OH SO WE ARE GONNA JUST POLITELY SIT WITH WU XIE AS STRANGERS POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES ARE WE HUH WELL LOOK WHOS BEING A HELPFUL LITTLE LAB ASSISTANT

Zhang Qiling: I’m attempting to convince him to let us out. Of course we will not simply sit there. Some lying to gain trust is necessary here.

Wang Pangzi: UR BEIN A SHADY BITCH XIAOGE AND ITS HOT

THATS WHY YOUR TATTOO IS SO BIG ITS FULL OF SECRETS

ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO—WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??

At the same time…

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Xie Yuchen: …so, this is not what I expected to find.

Hei Yangjing: yeah kiddo is a bit freaked out:/ this sucks. I mean I get that they are concerned blah blah blah necklace goes brightbright but maybe we should go find the other two

or at least find a way to let Wu Xie know we are here, that room he’s in looks like a dungeon and not in a good way

Xie Yuchen: Does it look like I’m able to do anything right now? Also, I’m fairly certain they won’t be harmed. Zhang Rishan may be callous, but he isn’t stupid.

Hei Yangjing: r u kidding

he split up Romeo and Juliet, then left Romeo with a sword—seems pretty stupid to me

Xie Yuchen: Yeah I’m not going near that. He made his bed with that choice. What can you see? These Neanderthal guards are blocking my view.

Hei Yangjing: uh so there’s like a lab table situation

Wu Xie isn’t tied up, a good sign in this context

I can’t see what those people are holding, they’re talking a lot and some asshole just grabbed Wu Xie’s arm, looks like maybe they are putting in an IV?

The necklace is—oh. Oh shit.

[ladykissingfish]

Halloween with the Akatsuki

Konan

Dress-up isn’t really for her, and neither is going out to join in any festivities. She prefers to go the homemade treats and scary movie route, staying either by herself or with her fellow Akatsuki members who think the same way. She’s the one who will decorate the house (often with Tobi’s help) with orange and purple lights, hanging ghosts and witches, and an entirely too-real-looking scarecrow. Might decide to wear some spooky-printed pajamas and/or a matching robe. Also makes herself of use to anyone who’s dressing up and needs help applying face paint or makeup. She also stays up the latest to ensure that those who do go out make it home safe and sound, although she doesn’t tell anyone that this is why she’s still awake.

Deidara and Hidan:

Normally these two don’t get along (to put it mildly) and avoid each other like the plague. However, on Halloween, it’s a different story. These two are the youngest in the Akatsuki and therefore much more into the “holiday spirit” than the others. They’ll help each other with costumes (Hidan figures that his normal getup/ritual black and white paint is scary enough, and Deidara will dress as a literal “bang”; bright, flashy clothing ((definitely with a cape)) with small handmade explosives set to go off at regular intervals). Deidara will likely be made to take Tobi trick or treating during the early hours of the evening, and Hidan will tag along; not because he likes candy but because he figures the sugar will give him a needed boost of energy for the rest of the evening. Once Deidara finishes with Tobi, he and Hidan will set out for some greater fun. Haunted houses are their favorite; they can separate themselves from the crowd and hide within the exhibits, to scare the bejesus out of everyone else. Deidara can throw as many bombs as he wants ((and at point-blank range)), and Hidan can lure countless unsuspecting sacrifices people into the darkness; and the best part of it? Everyone thinks it’s just part of the show. It’s only when the others realize that the “fake blood” and “fake dead bodies” aren’t so fake that they decide to dip out. Likely to end the night sneaking Kakuzu’s sake from his room, getting completely shit-faced, eating ALL of Tobi’s candy (which he’ll cry about to no end in the morning), then passing out face-down on the floor. Will have to be dragged to their own rooms by Sasori and Kakuzu, and in the morning Kakuzu will be as loud as humanly possible to punish the two hungover idiots for stealing his alcohol.

Tobi

A holiday whose sole purpose is to get as much free candy as possible? Sign. Him. The FUCK. Up. He doesn’t really bother with much of a costume (after all he’s already wearing a mask that greatly resembles a lollipop) but might adorn it with a set of cat ears and tail. He’ll beg his senpai to take him trick or treating (which will be refused at first because “You’re a grown man for fuck’s sake, hm!”, but then Pein and Konan will use some “gentle persuasion” on the blonde until Tobi’s wish is granted). He’s thorough with it; he’s had Zetsu infiltrate houses for weeks beforehand to find out who has what candy, so he knows the best route to take. When he’s done (or rather when Deidara’s patience has run out) he’ll go back to the hideout and start eating his hard-earned treats. But not too much; because Konan is also making pumpkin and ghost shaped cookies and green-dyed hot chocolate. Will end the night watching scary movies (during which he’ll hide behind a pillow) with Konan and Kakuzu (Kakuzu insists the movies are boring but for some reason he has yet to leave the room). Sometimes accidentally slips into Obito voice when talking about how much he “gets” Michael Myers. 9/10 will fall asleep and be covered with a blanket to stay on the couch. Also 9/10 will wake up to find his candy gone because of senpai and the jerk Hidan, and will sob about it until Deidara caves and goes out and buys him several bagfuls of (now conveniently discounted) Halloween candy.

Kakuzu

Likes to answer the door for trick or treaters, but instead of candy he’ll give out what he feels is “more helpful”. Like, pamphlets on how to start a 401k, or advice on what stocks are a good investment, or tips how to save the most when shopping at the grocery store. Most children are unappreciative of the old grouch’s “treats”, however, and the Akatsuki house always ends up heavily egged and TP’d. But hey ... that means free eggs ((the ones that aren’t too damaged, anyway)) and free toilet paper: win-win. When not answering the door, he joins some of the others in their “scary” movie fest. Not because he thinks the flicks are in anyway scary ((to him they seem more like comedies)) but he likes to analyze the actions of the main characters to see how and where they went wrong; good practice for future missions.

Pein

Thinks the “holiday” is utterly pointless, but gives his blessing for the others to indulge in in however they see fit.

Zetsu

This is the night of the year that Zetsu brings in the most revenue to the Akatsuki. He scopes out what places are having costume contests with cash prizes, and he enters, and literally always wins first place. Nobody can figure out how he “made” a costume so wonderfully realistic, with the unique dual skin-tone and the lush foliage. This is also a good time for him to indulge in sweet treats ... and NOT the candy kind. Lots of dumb teenagers like to wander out to the woods and have Halloween parties; their exuberance and intoxication lets them see Zetsu as just another guy with an awesome get-up. Getting one or two or ten of them away from the group is child’s play, and devouring them? Easier than taking candy from a Tobi. Sometimes will take a severed hand or foot and enter ANOTHER contest as a carnivorous Venus fly trap.

Itachi and Kisame

Neither of these two like to go out, so they spend time at the house together. Kisame goes out the day before and raids a pumpkin patch, and the two spend a good part of Halloween evening expressing their “artistic” sides on different jack-o-lanterns ((which will be mercilessly criticized by Deidara)). Kisame’s masterpiece is Samehada at his strongest and Itachi’s is the portrait of who he SAYS is himself as a younger man ((but is clearly that little brother of his)). Kisame is not a fan of candy, but Itachi is, so Tobi will bring him a large handful of his own to share. They will abandon their customary tea and biscuits for warm apple cider and whatever confectionary delight Konan is making. Might also join the others for scary movies at some point. Most Halloween’s end up with Deidara and Hidan coming back to the house very late, drinking too much, and falling asleep. This might be the ONLY time Itachi ever initiates an act of aggression against them, as he takes advantage of their out-of-it states to put each of their hands in a cup of warm water ((a trick he learned from Hidan himself)) and letting nature (and overfilled bladders) take its course. Kisame sees him doing this and laughs himself sick; it always amuses him when he sees his partner drop his ultra-serious nature and let loose like a normal young person.

Sasori

It’s always been said of Halloween for sweet-consumers to be aware of what they’re eating, as many unscrupulous people out there can hide poison in the candy. Sasori is that person who parents warn their kids about. However, Sasori doesn’t direct his malice towards children; rather, adults. He concocts a variety of poisons, sleeping agents and other horrors, laces candy or apples with it, and has his secret subordinates in other villages pass them out to pre-selected individuals ((usually people that the redhead has some sort of grudge against)). Sasori keeps careful track of his lab rats by sending small, drone-like puppets out to observe them, and record their reactions from time of consumption to whatever end comes for them. This research greatly helps him in terms of future poison preparations. If particularly bored, he’ll dress up some of his larger puppets in terrifying attire, and send them out in the darkness to stalk and frighten the life out of young trick-or-treaters. He’s likely to join some of the others who watch movies, or, if he’s in time to catch Deidara after the blonde passes out from his night of fun, he’ll take a marker and write “Art is Eternal” across his face ... in multiple languages.

[wooyunhwa]

kingdom of welcome addiction | four

view pinned post for masterlist / links to the rest of the parts!

Genre: smut (with plot), this part is just suggestive, mostly plot

Pairing: demon!san x fem!reader / ???yunho x fem!reader 

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: a bit of blood drinking, not much else in this part tbh

Synopsis: A new boy from your class steals your attention, but something about it seems too good to be true. 

A/N: The plot thickens! I know most of you are here for the smut but this chapter is very important for later parts! Thank you for reading and comments are super appreciated as always! <3

The familiar alleyway. Why did you come back here? It went on endlessly, you couldn’t see the street from either side. You were running, but you weren’t sure why. Was someone chasing you?

A glimmer of crimson caught your eye from the shadow, a familiar flash of fangs sparkling in the thinly veiled moonlight. A bloodthirsty snarl painted his face. The demon from before? He stepped into the light, and his piercings glimmered in the flickering glow of the rusty street light. You swiveled to run, but the brick wall stopped your path. That wasn’t there before... 

You turned to meet his eyes, hungry with bloodlust, like a lion stalking its prey. He had you cornered. His proverbial lamb.

San. 

He lurched forward, his speed unmatched, pinning you up against the wall with a disturbing thud. You gasped as the wind knocked from your body. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out, not even your breaths. His hands viced around your neck. Why was he doing this? Why? Tears poured from your eyes as he squeezed mercilessly. You couldn’t understand why. You thought he was supposed to protect you.

You heard him speak, but his words didn’t make any sense. His voice was a venomous hiss, poison dripping from his fangs as he trained his eyes over you, to the hands squeezing the life out of you. Why was he hurting you? What did you do wrong?  

Your body went cold as you writhed, unable to run, unable to scream, unable to breathe. Piercing black eyes watched you as you sobbed helplessly, searching for any remnant of life left in your lungs, clawing at his hands, silently begging him to stop. 

And then black.

The next thing you saw was the dizzyingly bright white of your ceiling. The sheets were drenched under you from sweat, blankets thrown everywhere from tossing and turning in your bed. 

Your hand came to your neck, tracing the faint scars from San’s teeth, remembering the grip of his hands around your neck. He could have killed you, back then, if he hadn’t snapped out of it. You would be dead. 

You were falling for him. But somewhere inside of you, somewhere deep in your subconscious, he terrified you.

Your next semester had been, so far, incredibly overwhelming—and it was still only the first day. You weren’t used to such a hectic schedule, usually opting to take most of your courses online, but your schedule this time was booked entirely on campus. 

Your last class of the day: Advanced Human Religion. Fitting, for your current entanglement with a particular demon. Admittedly, that was the reason you took the class. Maybe it’d give you a better picture of what you were dealing with. But probably not. 

You just wanted the day to be over—time felt endless in the constant drawl of class after class, boring lecture after boring lecture. 

Until you saw him.

Time seemed to stop as he rounded the corner through the doorway, like a slow-motion movie scene. 

He wasn’t your usual type, you were usually exclusively drawn to the “tall, dark and handsome” trope. He ticked only two of those boxes. One, he was incredibly tall. He towered over you, and most of the people in the classroom, a perfectly proportioned giant. Lean, limber, and absolutely stunning. Two, he was unbelievably handsome. 

But dark? He was exactly the opposite. He was a glowing ray of light, you imagined if this was a cartoon there would be golden glitter sparkling around him as he walked. His cotton-candy blue hair was styled neatly on his head, tousled gently in a way that looked purposeful. He was effortlessly gorgeous, almost ethereal. 

Part of you wanted him to take the empty seat next to you, so badly. The other part wanted him as far away as possible—not only because the butterflies fluttering in your stomach were making you too nervous to breathe, but because he was so pure he could probably detect the sin permeating from your aura. You didn’t deserve to even be in the room with someone so sparkly and bright. You’d been fucking a bloodthirsty demon, after all. And you had the scars to prove it.

He was walking in your direction. Fuck. What do you do? Look at him, look away? Look at your phone? His eyes trained on the seat next to you. As he walked behind you, your heart stopped completely, breath frozen in your chest. Why were you so nervous? Why?

He took a gentle seat next to you as you fumbled uselessly on your phone, trying to pretend you didn’t even notice him. 

Your eyes wouldn’t listen. You glanced over at him, and he met your eyes warmly. He flashed you the most heavenly smile you’d ever seen, his eyes forming into soft crescents. He looked like the embodiment of sunshine. “Hi, I’m Yunho.” 

You felt yourself shrinking as the heat rose in your cheeks, unable to keep calm as you tried not to stare too obviously at him. “I-I’m Y/N,” you stuttered, shifting in your chair as you tried to stay upright. 

Other than his ray-of-sunlight aura, he smelled incredible. Like warm, freshly baked bread wafting in the air on a summer day. He smelled like a nostalgia, like a distant memory you’d forgotten, but desperately wanted to remember. 

You didn’t have a chance to make too much conversation with him, as your lecture was about to start any second. You had a hard time focusing for the rest of the class—it seemed like both the longest and shortest hour of your entire life. The tightness in your chest was overwhelming, heart beating ruthlessly fast in your chest. You weren’t sure if he could tell from beside you how much you were struggling to focus, but if he even saw half of the nervousness you felt, he’d probably think you were crazy. 

The minute your professor dismissed the class, you practically sprang up out of your seat, too anxious to face him again, but his voice immediately stopped you, deep and smooth, from your side. “See you tomorrow.” 

A blush rose to your cheeks. You didn’t even consider that you’d have to go through this again. How were you going to handle these feelings every day? You smiled kindly, concealing your nerves the best you could. “Right, see you tomorrow. It was nice meeting you.”

You beelined your way out the door, practically gasping for air as you made it out of the classroom. 

You made your way to the bus stop, putting in your headphones, searching desperately for a song to calm your nerves. Your head was filled with images of him, ethereal and glowing. The first time your mind wasn’t filled with thoughts of San in a while. You didn’t exactly know what it was, but something about Yunho drew you in, had you completely flustered like you’d never experienced. Dare you say, even with San. What was it?

A shadow obstructed your vision for a moment, drawing your gaze up. And farther up. Yunho. He smiled warmly above you, his figure illuminated by light washing up behind him. You tugged out your earbud frantically as he opened his mouth to speak.

“You take the 5 too?” he asked, gesturing to your bus stop. “What a coincidence, huh?” 

You thought you’d gotten off easy today. You had no idea what to say, mind fumbling for words as his smile pulled you farther and farther into nervousness. Butterflies enveloped your stomach, creeping up into your chest. You were surprised when you managed to reply semi-coherently. “Long time no see,” you jested lightly, eliciting a cute chuckle from him. “Yeah, I take the 5. I could take the 11, but the 5 comes more often.” God, what were you saying? “Anyway, I meant to ask… are you new here?”

“Yeah, I just transferred here this semester,” he explained. Makes sense why you hadn’t seen him before. You heard the screeching of the bus’ wheels coming to a halt by your side, but you were entirely focused on him. He was so tall you nearly had to tip your head ninety degrees to meet his gaze with him standing in front of you, unlike when he was sitting next to you in class. “I don’t know many people yet.”

You boarded the bus with him, and he took a seat next to you. His heavenly smell was overwhelming, you wanted to bury your head in his fuzzy sweater and never let go. It was a weird thought, but you couldn’t help but think he would give really good hugs. Like a fluffy cloud in the shape of a human. You chatted lightly, mostly about the classes you were taking, your professors. It went all too fast, and when he got off at his stop, you almost wanted to follow him. But that would be really creepy. Despite trying to avoid him before, now that you were talking, you didn’t want to stop. 

You didn’t summon San that night. 

You wondered if he was watching you flirt with Yunho on the bus. He told you he’d stop watching you when you expressed your displeasure at him being so intrusive, but you wouldn’t call anything about San trustworthy. You almost wondered if he could read your thoughts sometimes. Would he be mad that you had such an undeniable crush on another guy? It’s not like you and San were dating, but you definitely had a relationship of some sort, however unusual it was. You recalled the bitterness in San’s voice when he mentioned you getting the handsome man’s number from the bar. You couldn’t imagine how he’d feel about you crushing on your new classmate. 

The highlight of your day quickly grew from summoning San to getting to talk to Yunho for a few moments before and after class and on the bus. You had undeniable chemistry with Yunho, and he was like a walking shot of pure serotonin, a bright ray of happiness in your otherwise dull days. 

You still summoned San at night every so often. He hadn’t mentioned anything about Yunho at all, not even a fleeting sarcastic comment. Maybe, just maybe, he was finally following through with his promise of not spying on you. 

The nights with San were nice, but you stayed away from anything explicitly sexual for a while. Your contracts became purely professional—well, as professional as an unprofessional demon boy cleaning your bathroom for you in exchange for your virgin blood could get.  It felt entirely wrong to lust after him so desperately while your mind was filled with thoughts of your new crush. You almost felt dirty when San was around, like a cheater, though you didn’t know who exactly you were cheating on. You and Yunho were mere acquaintances still, and yet being in the presence of your demon felt wrong. Sinful—and not in the good way. 

You rejected San’s flirting, shying from his soft kisses, ducking away when he pinned you like prey against your wall, pulling away from him when his hands explored your waist a little too closely. You craved him entirely, but it felt so wrong. You did, however, let him feed from you still—his lust for your blood was still insatiable, and you felt cruel not even letting him get a taste—but your newest condition was that he couldn’t use your neck. 

You couldn’t help but cry out when his fangs sunk into your skin, pain mixing with pleasure as San’s fangs pierced just above your hip bone. The scars were starting to compound, and with each bite, they seemed to heal less and less cleany. You definitely started to look like a vampire’s chew toy in a way you couldn’t just explain away anymore. 

His tongue against your skin had you squirming—the neck felt intimate, but your hips were even more so. You imagined his tongue dancing across your skin, his hand sneaking down below the waistband of your pants, his fangs pulling your panties off with his teeth. The fantasy dissolved in your mind when he pulled up from your skin, pushing the hem of your shirt back down while he swiped his other hand over his fangs, smearing the blood with a satisfied moan.

He kept his hand on your waist as he came up, finger tracing your chin, hungry for you after a long night of contracted housework. You could tell he wanted you, more than just your blood, he wanted you. He was begging for you with his eyes, lustful and intense. You wanted him too. You wanted your lips against his, pressed up against yours passionately, the feeling of his cold metal lip ring scraping your bottom lip. You wanted his hands all over you, you wanted to hear his sweet praises in your ear. 

But you also couldn’t get the image Yunho out of your head. The things you wanted him to do to you, even more so. The guilt wouldn’t let you go.

You shied away from San, breaking eye contact. “San—I—I’m tired. I just want to sleep.”

He sighed, clicking his tongue against his teeth in annoyance. Your constant rejections of him were probably suspicious, but you didn’t know how to tell him about Yunho. 

“Fine. But you know, something’s off with you.” He narrowed his eyes, his scrutinizing crimson gaze making you incredibly self-conscious. Like you were under investigation. 

“I’m just overloaded with school right now.” Were you really lying to him? That was a dangerous game.

“Are you lying to me? That pretty little face doesn’t hide very much, you know.” Fuck. “Whatever. I’m not obligated to stay here. Our contract is up anyway.”

“San, wait—” 

But he was gone. 

The empty space on your bed where he just was stung just as much as the still-fresh bite mark on your hip. You lifted your hand to meet your cheek, wet with saltwater. Why were you crying?

“Who knew a class about religion was going to have such a crazy workload?” 

You shoved your notebooks into your school back as you packed up at the end of class. The only class you looked forward to in the day also happened to be the hardest one—your professor turned out to be especially harsh with his tests, and assigned so much work you could hardly keep up. 

“Right? I thought this was going to be an easy one. Maybe I should have been tipped off by the ‘Advanced’ part of the class description,” you responded with a smile, eliciting one of his intoxicating laughs. You couldn’t help but smile when he smiled.

“Maybe we could study together?”

Your heart stopped in your chest, and you paused for a moment to weigh his proposal. It wasn’t a difficult decision. “That would be nice,” you said with a flirtatious smile. You hadn’t had a chance to hang out with him outside of the setting of school yet. Although it was just an invitation to study, it almost felt like he was asking you on a date. “I know a cafe we could go to. It’s open pretty late. We could go tonight if you wanted,” you added. 

A night free of demon drama would be nice for once. The guilt when you looked at San was practically eating you alive. You couldn’t lie to him anymore, but you also couldn’t face him enough to tell him the truth. You would jump on any reason to avoid having to have that conversation one more day.

“I’m not doing anything now, actually. We could go right now?”

You nodded with a soft smile. “Sounds great.”

The time flew way too fast as you studied at the cafe with him. You’d gone relatively early, but you somehow managed to still be there when they started ushering the customers out at closing. You were studying, but it also felt like a date of sorts. You were being particularly flirty, and if you weren’t imagining things, he was too. He bought you a coffee, held the chair out for you as you sat down, even brushed up against you a few times while you sat next to each other.

“Is it just me or did that feel like it went by way too fast?” Yunho asked with a laugh, holding open the door for you as you stepped outside.

You were met immediately with the cold night air, coughing you to shiver a bit from the chill of the wind against your skin. Yunho’s arm came down suddenly to wrap around your shoulders, his thick fuzzy sweater warming you in the cold, though he had to lower himself down a bit to get a proper angle on your shoulders. You melted into his touch immediately, heat rising in your face. It felt… right. You never wanted to leave this moment. 

“Would you like to come back to my apartment?” you asked hesitantly, not wanting to seem too forward. “To finish studying, I mean. We still have a bit left to go over.” 

Studying. Funny. That’s definitely not what you wanted to do with him right now. 

He squeezed his arm around you tighter. “I’d love to.”

You settled down at your apartment with him. You hadn’t had a guy in your apartment other than San in months. Actually, come to think of it, you hadn’t had anyone in your apartment other than San in that time. At least it was already sparkling clean, thanks to your demon maid. 

You settled on your loveseat couch—it was all you had room for in your small apartment. Yunho nestled up next to you, scooting up next to you until his hips were touching yours. You did your best to focus on the work in front of you, but you couldn’t help but feel distracted by what his touch was doing to you. It was so minimal it was almost non-existent, but even the faintest brush of him against you had you blushing and flustered. 

Yunho glanced over at you. “So, for this question, I think we need to—”  

But you couldn’t let him finish. You were leaning into him before you even had a chance to ask yourself what you were doing. Your lips met his softly. He tasted like sunshine, like heaven itself. He rocked back against you, hands lacing in your hair, moaning against your lips. You pushed back into him, savoring every taste of him. Your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, his hands moving to—

“Sorry to interrupt your fun.”

You nearly jumped a foot in the air at the sudden voice, echoing loudly off the walls.

San. He was standing in front of the kitchen, leaning against the counter top. His eyes glared darkly in your direction. 

“San, holy fuck. What are you doing?” you hissed, eyes flitting over to Yunho. He couldn’t just appear like that, he was going to get himself in massive trouble. 

He ignored you entirely, his eyes almost black as he drew his gaze over to your guest. “Yunho. Surprised to see you here. What business do you have with my human, exactly?

Did he just call him by his name? How did San—

“San. Always a displeasure,” Yunho responded at your side. 

What the fuck was going on here? You watched in shock as their eyes met, both seemingly as displeased as the other to see each other. 

“I’m sorry, explain to me what’s going on?” you asked with wide eyes, voice rising as your confusion compounded. 

San took a few threatening steps forward, like an animal protecting its territory. “Your little lover boy right here… is a former colleague of mine. Care to tell her, Yunho? Or are you just gonna lead her on, hmm?”

Yunho glanced at you, his big eyes filled with what looked like regret, then back at San vengefully. Anger didn’t look right on him. “You don’t have to do this, San.” 

San flashed his fangs in a sinister snarl. “If you don’t tell her, I will.” 

Yunho glanced at you for a moment, then back at San, hesitating. “San, really, you don’t have to do this,” he pleaded again, eyes wide as he glanced back at you. He shuffled closer to you, putting a hand on your leg protectively.  

“I warned you,” he growled. “So you’re going around kissing humans now, hmm? Is there some sort of new angel code I missed somewhere?”

I’m sorry, did he say angel? 

“You really aren’t the same San I remember,” Yunho said through his teeth, ruffling his free hand through his cotton-candy hair in annoyance. The other gripped tighter on your leg. “What did you think you’d accomplish by coming here, anyway?”

“I’m trying to find out what business you have with Y/N. She’s not even your assignment. You thought you’d just have a little fun with her, huh? Didn’t know you were the type to play with your humans.”

Yunho sighed. “I’ve been reassigned.”

“So she is your assignment now, is that it?”

“Yes.” Yunho dropped his gaze from San’s for a moment, locking it with yours for a moment. “You’ll have to forgive me,” he whispered softly.

Ugh. Why did every guy you fell for have to be not human? You knew a boy like Yunho was too good to be true, anyway. You were sensing a pattern. 

“You go around kissing all your assignments then?”

A blush rose to Yunho’s cheeks, staining them a gorgeous shade of rose. Even now, he glowed ethereally, fittingly angelic for an angel. Guess that explained why he was always sparkling. And why he smelled like the actual embodiment of heaven. “Not usually, no. I got caught up in the moment. It was unprofessional.” San rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue against his teeth mockingly, but Yunho continued. “I’ve been assigned to protect her.”

“From what?” San asked, relaxing his hostile stance back a bit. 

Yunho glanced at you, then back at San, uneasiness coming through in his gaze. 

“From you.”

[fullycakedup-brownie]

Thank you, lemonheads

Disclaimer: non-pandemic AU; winter setting; fluff; a pinch of spice to make everything nice; swearing; Length: 3906 words; Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen AU; Characters: Yuuji/Sukuna x Black!Fem!Reader

The alarm did not go off at 7 am since it was Saturday, yet your eyes have been wide open for about one hour. The sun rays brought light on the ashy winter sky and you lazily shifted in your bed to check the time. How is it only 7:47 while I feel I’ve been laying here forever? You asked yourself in a deep sigh before you threw away the blanket and sat up on the edge of the bed. A life-saving decision you had taken the night before when you braided your hair, for not a single molecule in your body was able to deal with those shoulder-length thick curls after you wasted your night staring at the ceiling. Your body has developed a habit to wake up around 1 am for no particular reason and have you losing your mind over it. Usually, you managed to fall back asleep quickly, but that night between Friday and Saturday you just couldn’t. No one was online on any social media platform, you knew it would take you more time than available to pick one of the thirty million shows that you wanted to catch up on and you didn’t want to fuck up your night completely, so you forced yourself back into slumber. But now it was morning, your eyes tired and your body heavy.

With your mind set on still having a wonderful free weekend, you rummaged through the cabinets in the lovely apartment you had been thrilled to finally afford, in a futile attempt to grab a bite. You breathed deeply while counting down from ten after finding exactly half of a package of Lemonheads and some leftover seafood on a plate in the fridge. The initial plan was abandoned with the calamari as you headed for the bathroom, knowing for a fact that a nice scrubbing session during a dangerously hot shower will whoosh away all the fatigue and annoyance.

Fresh smell, moisturized gleaming skin, proud dark-brown eyes staring at you from the mirror made you put on a cheeky smile and leave the bathroom barefoot. One step into your bedroom and your stomach almost shouted at you. Ah, I do gotta eat something. McDonald’s it is, then. You were quick to agree to yourself and also to get dressed and leave the house. It has been snowing for a few days so the pavements were covered in a dense layer of white wonder, which made you decide to walk to the breakfast provider, instead of driving there. It wasn’t that far and you also loved the city landscapes.

The neon-yellow combat boots contrasted considerably with the red coat and drew the attention of the entire crowd inside McDonald’s, including one specific young man that was sitting alone at a table in the back. He watched your silhouette walk by a group of boys that didn’t even try to mask their reaction to your looks as you headed to the line to place your order.

“Even I know that it’s not nice to stare,” Sukuna talked all of a sudden, startling poor Itadori and causing him to sink his head deeper in the hood.

“Shut up, someone could hear you,” the boy whispered, looking down on his tray to avoid being heard by other customers.

“Is that the girl you’ve been going on about lately?”

“What girl? There’s no girl. What girl?” Yuuji panicked a bit, the heart racing in his chest letting Sukuna know he was right. Again.

“It’s not that hard. Just go there, what the fuck are you so scared about?” The otherwise thoughtless demon cared to push his host up on his feet.

Swallowing his anxiety along with the gallon of saliva in his mouth, Yuuji left his table, threw the sandwich’s wrapping paper in the trash bin when he passed by and stalled in your proximity on his way out. He just wanted to see you better than he could do it on the high school corridors in the lunch break, but blame it on the coincidence theory, that was the exact moment some Lemonheads slipped from the pocket of your black cargo pants when you pulled out your phone. That was a chance he was not willing to sacrifice. He dropped in a squat, picked the wrapped candies and smiled at you.

“I think you dropped these.”

You turned your head in the direction of the familiar voice only to find the cheerfully grinning pink-haired boy that you could’ve sworn you would fight anyone for.

“Hi. Oh, yes, thanks,” you replied in a pretty much measured tone and grabbed the candies from his palm.

“I’m Yuuji, by the way.” The shot was fired and his blood started boiling under the tension of his mind analyzing all the possible ways you could’ve answered to him. You could’ve laughed, whooshed him away, cringed at his boldness, pulled away or even cut his words. But he did not expect you to shake his hand, with a big smile plastered on your face.

“Alex here. Hi. Do you wann-” the number of your order appeared on the big screen and you paused your question, “-be right back at ya,” you smiled at Yuuji and went to the lady waiting with your bag.

As soon as your eyes got away from his face, Itadori let out a brief silent sigh and filled his hoodie pocket with his fists. This is good. I can do this. What if I ask her out? He was deep in thoughts when a lady shook his shoulder. “Young man, are you ordering, or just blocking the line?” The “I’m tired of you teenagers’ attitude” look on her face disturbed Yuuji and he left the spot, joining you at the front desk.

“Wasn’t you supposed to tell me you were out of the pancake meal? Why did you take my money then?” You tried really hard to hold back some yelling, but a vein on your forehead was definitely popping out.

“What’s the matter?” The boy asked, stopping next to you.

Pure sarcasm on your face when you looked from the staff girl to Yuuji. “I shall be starving to death today.”

“Miss, we can give you something else for the same amount. My colleagues weren’t awa-“

“Just give her a refund. We’ll be fine,” Yuuji stepped in and had both you and the other girl confused.

She gave your money back a bit half-hearted, and truth be told, you were feeling like that too, not only because you were hungry, but man, you loved the pancakes and the bacon and the eggs.

“Where are we going?” You asked, following Itadori out the restaurant after he motioned you to do so.

“I always wanted to try this food, instead of the usual fast-food.”

You had no idea what he was talking about, nor where he was leading you, but your guts weren’t agitated. There was something about that boy that screamed “safety” in your ears. The trip to the unknown food place he was taking you was short and you didn’t really get the time to make any small talk. Yuuji turned his body to face you, suddenly spreading and lifting his arm high up, a cheeky grin on his face when he exclaimed, “I present you ‘Gyros’, my new obsession.”

The fact that no word came out of your mouth as you stood in front of him, with your eyes blinking quickly, wiped Yuuji’s smile away. His confidence took a hike when his hands dropped from the air, where they were pointing at the ‘Gyros’ sign. “Should we just go back to McDonald’s?” He asked, rubbing the back of his head and frowning bashfully, not only because your glare fixed him, but also because Sukuna was laughing powerfully inside his mind.

“You. You have no idea where you just brought me,” your voice sounded more serious than you intended, so you giggled on purpose to loosen the tension because Yuuji looked like he was about to pass out from embarrassment. “Boy, relax. I was kidding-“ you barely held back a laugh, “-this is not my first ride with Gyros,” you finished and rested your palm on his shoulder. The pressure in his chest got released once he realized your playful attitude and he redirected his attention to placing an order he was about to pay for entirely.

Food hits differently at the standing tables and so do conversations. There you were, eating one of your favourite foods, chatting with your newest pal and enjoying the view of the tall city buildings that surrounded you. Once he found comfort in your presence, Yuuji opened up and he appeared even cuter to you than he did before. His eyes would gleam when you found his stupid jokes funny and his loud laughter would join yours when you gossiped like two best friends. The cutest thing about Itadori that you found yourself adoring was that he closed his eyes every time he bit on the gyros. You allowed a discreet smile to form on your lips as you admired him and he wasn’t aware of it. No matter how big of a portion you would’ve bought, it couldn’t take you an eternity to finish up your plate. You actually finished yours sooner than the boy, to steal a few more seconds of watching him perform such an automatic and usual activity as eating because he looked so precious doing it.

“Here, help me up.” Yuuji’s voice pulled you out of your daydreaming just as swiftly as the fry that he pushed into your gaping mouth. You chomped on it instantly and caused Yuuji to laugh at your confused face. “Listen, are you busy today? I was wondering if we could wal-“

“Yes, let’s go,” you answered almost instantly, chugging the rest of the Sprite in the paper cup and grinning back at Yuuji who was once again flustered.

The boy’s face flushed red and he smiled at you right before wiping his lips with a napkin and gathering all the food wrapping. “Where do you want to go?” You asked, watching him have a brain glitch for having to wipe his hands on his pants because he has thrown away all the tissues.

“I was thinking of arcade games, but we don’t have to if you don’t want to, I mean…” Yuuji suggested in a low voice causing Sukuna to roll his eyes aggressively. You are even dumber than I thought, brat. The poor boy shook his head to get rid of the voice and by doing that he missed your reply.

“Hey, did you hear what I said?” You shouted, thinking that he didn’t hear you because of all those car horns on the street.

“Yeah, no, sure. Of course, we can do that instead.”

“Bruh, you’re damaged!” You shouted again and started laughing. “I said I will destroy you in the arcade,” you continued, still full-on laughing, the slight touch of your hand on his arm sending him your cheerful vibes.

“If you say so, let’s test it.” Yuuji caught some courage and sped up the pace. “Can you run in those?” He pointed at your boots and chuckled when you threw him a very offended look.

“Excuse you, I can beat you to it!” You accepted the challenge and sprinted away from Yuuji. His light-brown eyes widened in surprise and he started running.

No, you did not win the race. He was already inside RedLine VR when you managed to arrive at the doorstep, barely catching your breath. “I-… I need- … whoa… where did you get that stamina from?” The mock-neck long-sleeved top was practically suffocating you.

“I don’t know. Guess I’m gifted.” Again rubbing the back of his head bashfully, that boy could not be cuter. Or so you thought.

He led you inside the place and even helped you take your coat off as you cracked your knuckles in preparation for beating Yuuji’s ass up in video games. The coloured light from the video game’s display reflected in your gold hoop earrings as much as they reflected in your wide-open gleaming eyes. His eyes spent more time taking in the shape of your face and the colour of your skin more than they did on the actual screen. You unknowingly made him bite his bottom lip when you let out a different type of chuckle. You wanted it to sound devilish, but it didn’t come out quite like that.

Imagine her moaning with that voice, Sukuna busted in Yuuji’s mind, his own rather full of your image, and caused a deep blush on the kid’s face. It was annoying how much affect you had on Yuuji, and he tried to not look at you like that anymore.

Itadori was good at sports, not games, and you won countless rounds leisurely. Each time you shouted your victory, you clapped your hands in delight and made a funny face to Yuuji. He faked slight envy at first, his pathetic whines giving Sukuna a real headache, but eventually, your general happy state made the boy smile. If somebody observed him, they would’ve figured it out in one second that you completely entranced him. As funny as it was to see him struggling to fight you for the first place in the game, you grew bored of the arcade and suggested you went somewhere else.

“Do you want to go to a park?” Yuuji asked, his mind quickly mapping the area for the closest park.

Too many people around, huh? An evil chuckle hit the corners of the poor boy’s head and he tried to keep his secret hidden furthermore.

“A park sounds good, Yuuji. Can I call you Yuuji?” Only after you said it out loud, you remembered about the Japanese courtesy and, feeling a bit weird, you made yourself busy with putting your coat back on.

“Yeah, sure, you can call me Yu-,“ “Daddy,” his voice was cut off by Sukuna’s who whispered loudly enough for the teens around you two to hear.

“YUUJI!” He tried to mask the demon’s voice and covered the mouth on his cheek instantly. “You can call me Yuuji.” He swallowed hard and then smiled as if nothing happened.

“You’re weird, but cutely,” you said with a cheeky smile as you made your way out the room.

He followed soon after scolding his so-called co-inhabitant and walked by your side, between you and the busy road. You took your time walking to Winnemac Park since it would’ve been too much of a bother to take the bus for only one short station. Once inside the park, you felt like the world around you changed: there was undisturbed snow everywhere, Sun was slowly going down and it was silent. Your romantic side emerged and you hung your hand on Yuuji’s forearm. Your affection was electrifying, and even if he didn’t see it coming and hadn’t prepared for it, the boy accepted it gladly by sticking his hand in the hoodie big front pocket, to help your hand rest better on his arm. Fifteen minutes of walking through town have been filled with school gossip, laughing and “get-to-know-you-better” stuff, but as the cold settled down, you both became quieter.

“Hey, look.” You left Yuuji’s side by a couple of steps and you squatted down to grab something from the pavement.

“Wha-“ Boy didn’t stand a chance against your mischievous snowball attack. “Oh, you did not!” He laughed and leaned to the side to gather some snow for his part of the game.

The war was set into motion. Yuuji found it admirable that you managed to dodge many of his shots even while you almost choked on your own laughter. He loved to see you smiling and having a good time, especially because it was due to his actions. For a second, he got lost again in your smile and the snowball that you threw hit him right in the face. The hand he held a snowball in was frozen above his head, as he had prepared to throw it at you before falling in trance. He had no reaction whatsoever and it worried you a hell lot.

“I’m so sorry, Yuuji, are you ok?” You rushed closer to him and wiped the snow off his face with gentle and burning hands.

When his eyes opened, you hated yourself for falling into that old trap. His arms circled you abruptly and he intended to make you fall in the snow, but you proved more agile than he thought and you escaped. Your freedom didn’t last long, though, for he tackled you. Only, he didn’t see that you have reached the margin of the sidewalk and you would’ve fallen on your ass if it wasn’t for his strong grip. He looked astonishing towering like that over you, and not only the situation was somewhat hot, but you also hated to see him win the fight. One of your legs jerked fast and cut Yuuji’s balance, making him fall over you in the snow. Light-brown eyes met dark-brown ones and the imminent sparkle tied your insides in a tight knot. His face was so close to yours that it had you imagine what would happen if you kissed him right then and there. Yet, none of you two moved a muscle, except for the throat muscles who kept gulping timidly.

Alex and Yuuji are in a tree. K-i-s-s-i-n-g! Sukuna’s words echoed in Itadori’s mind and they added to the closeness between your face and his, making him blush deeply. He stood up slowly and helped you on your feet too. Again silence as each of you cleaned the snow off of yourselves, avoiding the awkward moment.

“So, what now? I’m not cold anymore.” You snapped out of it and gave your best to look as normal as before in front of him, even if your stomach had a watermelon-sized hole inside.

“It’s getting late and I don’t really know the city that well at night. You want me to walk you to a bus station or something?” He asked, barely holding his composure in front of you while Sukuna yelled in his mind nonsense like You’re a chicken. A loser. Fucking lame-ass, stupid motherfucker. You could’ve kissed her. You should’ve kissed her! I should’ve taken over the control and kissed her right there!

“Sure. I don’t live far from here actually, you can walk me home if you want,” you suggested, hoping that he won’t interpret it the wrong way.

The weather became surprisingly harsh after sundown and your little coat didn’t do much in protecting you. Instinctively, you neared Itadori more, lured by the warmth his body radiated. As you balanced your gravity centre from one leg to the other, constantly moving your hands to try to keep them from freezing, your hand brushed against Itadori’s, which was hanging loosely by his body. He definitely felt it because you saw his jaw clenching, but he didn’t bring it up. So you did it again.

Oh, man, she’s got balls bigger than you, Sukuna mocked his host and then proceeded to laugh. You’re not gonna do anything about it?

Your ring and middle finger brushed the side of Yuuji’s hand softly as you two continued walking. When his pinkie interlocked with yours, you were no longer cold. The hole in your stomach filled with butterflies and you could feel your heart pounding against your chest. You hated yourself for being that flustered and weak, but from the way his other fingers circled your hand, you knew the feelings would only get more intense. The dark fell rather quickly and you found yourself squeezing Yuuji’s hand, to which he chuckled.

“Are you afraid of darkness?” He asked in a low tone, caressing the back of your hand with his thumb.

“L-lol, no,” you stuttered a bit but smiled as you looked up to Yuuji, who was just teasing you with a gentle look in his eyes.

The way back home is always shorter and you reached the front door of the building you lived in with a lump in your throat. It was time to let go of his hand and maybe, who knew, let go of that moment too. You didn’t know much about Yuuji other than he was a foreign exchange student, who came for who knows how much time in Chicago, he liked Gyros as much as you and he had a lot of running stamina.

“Well, this is where I live, so… see you at school?” You asked sheepishly, slowly growing aware of the blush on Itadori’s face that was now visible because of the street light close-by.

Do it, brat. Do it now. Don’t be a pussy.

“Listen, Alex… Today has been a very nice day and I’m glad you dropped your candies.”

You scoffed at his hilarious confession and attempted to pull your hand away from his, but just as before, in the park when he caught you, Yuuji’s grip remained firm. “No, let me hold it a bit more,” he whispered, taking a step closer to you.

JUST DO IT ALREADY! You’ll thank me later. Sukuna could hear all of Yuuji’s thoughts and feel the desperate hollow in the boy’s chest. He couldn’t take Yuuji’s reticence anymore. Black marks began appearing on Yuuji’s cheekbones and chin and as soon as he sensed his conscience being ripped from him, the boy shouted. “Ok, ok, I’ll do it!”

“Uhm, I didn’t ask you anything… What’s wrong?” You squeezed his hand once more as you tried to understand what was just about to happen to his face and why he screamed like that.

“Ignore that. It-it’s a long story and I’d rather not tell it now,” Itadori released your hand and stared at you dead in the eye. “How mad would you be if I kissed you right now?”

Your face caught fire. Your ears were burning and your stomach was doing front flips. You barely got to whisper anything before Yuuji’s palms grabbed your cheeks and he slammed his lips on yours. They were soft and warm and he kissed you so slowly that it had you melting in his arms. Your own lips parted to welcome him just as hungrily as your hands tugged at his hoodie to keep him close. He pulled back, eventually, and you smiled at each other in the surprise of what just happened. His forehead leaned on yours and the way you burst into laughter made Yuuji laugh too.

“I hope I didn’t ruin today…” he whispered, rubbing your cheeks with his thumbs, but not parting from your figure yet.

“I can’t wait to see you again, boy,” you cooed, stealing another peck from him before you turned to enter the building.

You barely walked up the stairs with a grin splattered on your face and increased heart rate and once you entered your apartment, you slid down your door and laughed alone for a couple of minutes. That just happened and you were there and he was there and what’s gonna happen now? In the same way, Yuuji called himself an Uber and got inside with palms sweating and a happy frown on his face.

“Finally taking my advice. She was too cute to waste, man. If you didn’t take the chance, I would’ve.”

“Sukuna shut the hell up. I kissed her first.”

I just want to thank @half-baked-biscuit for writing this fanfic for me that I sent in as a commission. I really do appreciate her writing a black fem reader and her taking the time to write this amazing fluff with yuuji/sukuna. I love you bitch T^T. Also credit to the artist for the picture above @hinamie. This was an amazing design so I just had to use it! Please like, reblog, and comment :3

Heres the link to the original post of the artist: https://hinamie.tumblr.com/post/635380113076355072/th-designs-in-this-show-r-god-tier-thank-u-jjk 

Taglist: @half-baked-biscuit @siriusimie @mangobxbbletea @corduroyrose

[thran-duils]

My Turn (PA P.2)

Title: My Turn (Performance Art, Part Two) Summary:  Fem!Reader x Ransom Drysdale. The reader is married to Ransom; a picture of their life and flashback to when they met. If she had been here by her own choice and her own choice alone, things may be better for her. Ransom is devious though and is able to tangle her into his web. Words: 2,651 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Dub-con, dub-con smut, body shaming, coercion, emotional abuse, loveless relationship Author’s Note: This was supposed to be a one shot but here we are.

Part One || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

“You are always so much more relaxed when Ransom isn’t here,” Harlan remarked lightly, his fingers tapping on the table lightly.

You looked over your shoulder from the stove at him, caught off guard by the comment. He was sitting there, his gaze prodding. Marta was at the small kitchen table with him as well, looking as uncomfortable as you with the random comment.

When he noticed the startled look on your face, he gave you a gentle smile. “I’m not accusing you, Y/N. No need to be on edge. Just… making an observation.”

Unsure of what to say, you looked away trying to conjure up anything that would not be taken too seriously.

“He can be intense sometimes,” you offered up, stirring the soup in the pot.

Once a month at least, you made a point to visit Harlan on your own – well, now with Oliver. He was sleeping in one of the guest rooms upstairs that still held one of the cribs from when his grandchildren were young. Now, his great-grandson was using it. Fran had taken the baby monitor with her down to the laundry room. She insisted on coddling him as much as she could when you visited. You were cooking dinner as you usually did when you made these visits. You enjoyed Harlan’s company – your grandparents had never been a large part of your life, so it was nice to have one. You cherished his company and his humor. And you enjoyed Marta’s company as well. She was the closest thing you had to a real friend. All the women at the country club were not for you, even though you faked it perfectly whenever you were around them.

‘’Intense’,” Harlan rolled around in his mouth, contemplating on the word choice. “Hmm. Yes, I suppose that is an accurate way to describe it.”

The conversation dropped off from there, silence filling the space. You snuck a look at him and saw he was deep in thought, staring down at his hands.

What an odd thing to say, you thought to yourself.

But Harlan was one to notice something like that.

<><><>

As you walked back from the kitchen with a glass of water, you noticed Harlan was standing in his veranda, overlooking the back yard. Changing course, you walked out of the screen door, catching his attention.

“Anything interesting, birthday boy?” you asked.

“Besides the beautiful sunset?” Harlan asked, smiling and gesturing at the setting sun.

“It is a fine shade of orange,” you commented, coming to stand by him.

He nodded and asked, “How are you enjoying the party so far? And where are my congratulations? I think that’s in order.”

You laughed, “Of course. Congratulations for your 85th birthday. And it is… just beginning. So, so far so good. The cake looks lovely, I saw it in the kitchen. Lemon frosting. Should be tasty. It is one of my favorites.”

“I remembered that,” Harlan said. “You love lemon tarts too. And lemon bars. I am sensing a theme here. We are very much alike in our passion for lemon dessert.”

“Hmm, you’re really going to enjoy part of your gift,” you said, reaching into your pocket for the candies. “I brought these for you.”

He peered into your outstretched hand and let out a throat chortle. You dumped the lemon warheads into his hand, sharing the laugh. Examining them, he said, “I am sure that is what my face will look like when I eat them.”

“Should do it in front of everyone. It’ll look nice in the photos,” you joked.

“I just might,” Harlan said, smiling at you. He slipped them into his pocket and told you, “Thank you, Y/N.” He held out his arm. “Escort me inside?”

You looped arms with him, “Yes, of course.”

<><><>

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ransom snapped, standing in front of Harlan’s desk. Harlan had called him into the study from the party and informed him he was considering changing his will, expressing his unhappiness with the family.

“Does it sound like I’m kidding?” Harlan asked nonchalantly, only a twitch in his face giving away he was annoyed that Ransom had swore at him. “It is what is best for everyone if they do not shape up.”

“So, you’re just going to give your fortune away if everyone doesn’t change to what you want them to be?” Ransom asked, laughing in disbelief.

Harlan shook his head, “No… no, I do not intend to do that. I will leave it to Marta.”

“You’re joking,” Ransom scoffed. “Your Brazilian nurse? Are you insane?”

“No, I’m thinking straight for the first time in a while. And not just Marta. But Oliver too,” Harlan informed him. Ransom straightened at that, his eyes narrowing. Harlan gave him a wry smile, “Now, don’t you go trying to get clever about it either, Ransom. Oliver won’t be able to touch it until he’s 25 years old.” Ransom scoffed again, looking furious. “And to that point as well, Y/N will be in charge of it until then.”

Ransom’s eyes bugged incredulously, and he blurted, “Y/N?” He seemed more offended about this than hearing about Marta.

He shook his head, biting his cheeks. He was supposed to control her, not the other way around.

Stepping towards the desk, he demanded, “Just because she bakes you dinner every once in a while? She gets to have millions of dollars for that?” His voice was rising. “You don’t know what you’re doing. You really have lost your goddamn mind!”

“You do not get to tell me what I am going to do with my will!” Harlan said louder than he intended to.

Leaning forward, Ransom pointed at him threateningly, “I’m warning you—”

“You should be grateful,” Harlan cut him off.

“’Grateful’?” Ransom demanded. “Grateful? What about this should I be grateful about?”

“That your son will be taken care of,” Harlan told him firmly. “I’m only telling you because I do hold a special place for you, Ransom, but you need to do better by her. And consequently, be a father, a real one. Prove to me you love the family you have and grow it with purpose. I don’t plan on sharing this with anyone… they can figure it out after I am gone if things don’t change. You have an opportunity here—"

Ransom barked out a laugh, throwing his hands up. “I can’t with this. Look, when you’ve got your head screwed back on, I’ll be here to talk. Happy fucking birthday.”

Without another word, he turned on his heel, storming to the door. He threw it open, letting it hit the wall on his way out.

<><><>

Meg was cooing at Oliver, smiling as his eyes followed her. You adjusted him in your arms and asked, “Do you want to hold him?”

“Oh, su—”

“Get your shit,” Ransom ordered you, appearing out of nowhere, startling the two of you. “We’re leaving.”

He looked engulfed in fury and you knew better than to argue with him normally but like this was signing a death wish. But it was Harlan’s birthday, and you could not help yourself.

“But the cake and—”

“You don’t need cake, do you?” Ransom spat vehemently.

Heat quickly game to your cheeks and you closed your mouth, sinking into yourself at his insult. He always knew how to cut you the deepest. Meg though was another story.

“What the hell, you asshole—” she started to spit back at him.

“Shut the fuck up, Meg. Don’t you have some communist bullshit to go read about how you’re going to undermine the government?” Ransom snarled and snapped his fingers at you. “Y/N, what did I just tell you? Stop standing there looking stupid. Get Oliver’s shit and let’s go. I’ll be in the car, don’t make me wait.”

He turned on his heel, swiping his coat off the back of the chair by the door.

You swallowed sharply, trying to hold back tears as you made eye contact with Meg for a moment before averting your gaze, humiliated.

“What the fuck is up his ass?” Meg muttered, staring in anger at where he had disappeared.

You managed a shrug as you began walking towards the door where Oliver’s car seat was waiting. She told you she would get him buckled up if you wanted to go say goodbye to everyone. You shook your head, not trusting yourself to not look like a mess, nervous about how Ransom was going to be for the rest of the night.

The car ride home was unpleasant. He was silent but you could tell he was fuming. And he kept stealing angry glances your way and you could not for the life of you figure out what you had done.

When you did get home, he hit the scotch, making a stiff one as soon as he got through the door practically and you made yourself scarce. You planned to steer clear of him as much as you could knowing his bad mood was only going to be exacerbated by the alcohol.

The TV echoed from downstairs, he was not watching it quietly. You swore under your breath, as Oliver babbled softly. He had been sleeping so soundly in the car and had woken up to the loud noise downstairs. It took awhile to get him back to sleep and when he finally did, you laid him down gently and left the room as quiet as you possibly could, closing the door. You waited a few seconds and did not hear him cry out, much to your relief.

Going to the bedroom, you got ready for bed, hoping to fall asleep quickly because Oliver had a habit of waking up around 4:00am.

Just as you had turned off your bedside lamp, you heard a creak. Turning, you saw Ransom’s silhouette was in the doorway, illuminated from the hall light. The TV was still on downstairs and you hoped he was only up here to change and would leave again without unleashing any more beratement on you. You still could not figure out what you had done that had made him so upset with you. There was usually something. You wore the wrong type of dress, cooked something he was not in the mood for, came too quickly…

He stalked into the room coming to your side of the bed and the hope he was going to leave you alone was quickly fading. He reached out and turned on your lamp again, staring down at you. You could see he was drunk; you knew the signs in his eyes.

“Are you coming to bed?” you asked him calmly.

His smile was unkind. “Oh, yes. Dear wife. I am coming to bed.” Just as quickly as it had appeared, his smile fell and he ordered you, “Take that stupid thing off.” You stammered and he asked annoyed, “Am I going to have to rip it off of you?”

Quickly, you pulled the nightgown off, sitting naked on the edge of the bed as he undressed himself, kicking his clothes off to the side. He was already getting hard, to your surprise considering how much he must have imbibed by the smell of his breath. Before he even had to ask, you laid back, your fingers at your sex. You tried to relax as your fingers worked, trying to will yourself to start to get wet.

Ransom’s gripped your thighs and yanked you across the bed towards him. “No, on your hands and knees,” he growled, half tossing you over in a fluid motion.

You did the rest of it for him, shook by his aggressiveness. You mourned prematurely for your pussy, knowing you were going to be sore tomorrow; you just knew sitting was going to be uncomfortable.

Behind you, as your fingers sunk into your sex, you could hear Ransom digging around in your bedside table. You only stalled for a second in your rubbing when you heard the unmistakable sound of one of your vibrators. He slapped your hand away and it fell back to the bed for you to rest your head on as he brought the toy to your clit. You moaned, fingers curling up in the comforter.

The pressure was building, and you begged, “Ransom, please…”

He only responded with a hum of approval and then the vibrator was gone. You had a split second to pout before he slapped your swollen pussy. You jolted, wincing at the sharp sting. His cock slipped in, his hand pressing down on the small of your back. His thrusts were deep and steady, groaning at the tightness.

Ransom’s hand clamped down on your jaw, turning your face to look at him forcibly. You gasped in surprise when he spit in your face, burying himself hilt deep. His hand moved up, wiping the spit all over your face roughly.

“You’re gonna cum all over my dick,” he rasped, slowly rolling his hips. You groaned, full of him. “Aren’t you?” You nodded feverishly and he smiled in response. “Can’t fucking help yourself.”

Ransom pulled out, snapping, “On your back.” Your calves rested on his shoulders, his fingers digging into the front of your thighs as he resumed his thrusting, jolting you against the bed. You keened, his cock brushing your g spot so easily in this position.

“Look at you…” he husked. “A dirty little whore. Say it!”

“I’m your dirty little whore,” you gasped back to him.

His eyes practically rolled back into his head. “Yeah, that’s all you are,” Ransom groaned in pleasure. “A filthy little skank. Mine. Mine…”

Trailing off, Ransom bit at his bottom lip as his thrusts became quick and shallow. It was too much, pushing you over the edge, much to his pleasure. You saw stars and your legs quivered and you heard him encourage you, a new slew of degrading names falling from his lips.

Your legs were held up by his hand as he stared down at your pussy, his eyes still hooded with arousal. You could feel his seed inside you – he always finished inside.

“That won’t do,” he murmured. His fingers ran up, wiping the cum dripping out of you and he shoved his fingers back in. “There we go… don’t want to waste a drop. Let’s make sure his little. fucking. favorite,” he grated out every word, his fingers pushing in deep and you clenched around him, biting your bottom lip as your high wore off. He was not being gentle. “Gives us another little bun in the oven to fawn over.”

Why was he talking in third person? You did not dare ask.

“You’re going to act happy, Y/N. You’re going to be happy. You’re going to fucking smile. You’re going to fucking love me, adore me. And everyone’s going to believe it,” Ransom snarled at you, his breath ragged. “That fucking clear? No more of this kicked puppy routine you fucking do. Especially when it seems I’m not there. I won’t have it. Not anymore. We are going to have a perfect little family from now on.”

“I—”

“Don’t fucking argue with me,” he said dangerously. “I said, ‘is that clear’? Just nod your head. It’s not that hard, Y/N.” You nodded silently and he clipped, “Good. You better shape up quick. I’m going to fuck you every night until you’re giving me another son.” His fingers slowed, his thumb rubbing your abused clit and you hissed. He smiled at the reaction and he gave it a little pinch, drawing a pathetic whimper out of you. “Yeah, you’re going to do exactly as I tell you. Such a good girl.”

He gave you a rough kiss and husked, “Don’t mistake me being nice to you outside these walls as anything other than it being my turn to put on a show.”

~~~

Tags: @coconutqueen21 

[binniedeactivated]

28 for Yeonjun

「 ► 𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

 ► 028: "I have never felt this way about anyone" 🖇

 ►𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟!𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞

► 𝐰/𝐜: 958

√  𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 」

“well I just think that fruity candy beats chocolate candy any day”. you say in the passenger seat while chewing on a half piece of twizzler, your legs stretched across yeonjun’s lap while he was driving.

yeonjun laughs that laugh that you loved and shakes his head in disbelief. he clutches you’re ankles with one hand and rubs them gently. “there’s absolutely no way you’re telling me that you’d rather have a jolly rancher over a snickers bar”.

“hell yeah that’s exactly what I’m telling you”.

“you’re insane. do you know that? chocolate surpasses all earthly things”.

“chocolate surpasses nothing”.

“whatever. you’re a hater. like always”.

you laugh pushing head his to the side. it was always fun having small debates with your best friend, yeonjun during your car rides. especially during this one.

the wheels of the car was rolling harshly along the dirt roads and the sky radiated the perfect colour of peach. the days had gotten so long and yeonjun didn’t know how the car was still running from four day old gas but he was grateful that it was still running at all. he wasn’t expecting some beat up rental car to last as long as it was lasting but this would hold you guys over before it was time for you both to get another one. well, steal another one. because you and yeonjun were running away from home without looking back.

“yo, I’m getting kind of hungry. you?”. he asks. he suddenly remembers the last time the both of you ate was back in the other cities. it’s been hours since then.

“me too. I don’t know how much longer I can survive off of gas station candy”.

“I think there’s like a roadside diner somewhere”. yeonjun eyes out the window looking around to see if he saw anything. he was happy to see a large arrow just shortly ahead, pointing to the parking lot of some empty diner. not that he cared if it was empty though. he was just eager to eat and finally get out of the car.

the tires crush the gravel as he pulls in and parks. you close the passenger door behind you glaring at the broken down looking place of business. and then you looked at yeonjun who was currently fixing his hair and close through the driver’s window, his light brown hair tousling over in the breeze. he was so gorgeous and you wondered how he still managed to look fashionable as a hometown fugitive. once his eyes meet yours though you quickly look back at the diner questionably, trying to act as though you weren’t admiring him at all. your cheeks grew hot at just the feeling of possibly getting caught though.

“i saw that”. yeonjun smirks, shoving the car keys in his pocket.

“anyways. this diner looks kind of sketchy. you don’t think we’ll get murdered in this shit?”.

yeonjun shrugs. “we might. so what. I’m starving let’s eat”. he turns on his heels to the entrance and you utilized that time to look at your own self through the car windows. yeonjun looked so good, you were curious on what the hell you even looked like. you wondered if he thought you looked just as good as you thought he looked. you fixed your short curly hair, large hoop earrings and adjusted your clothes as well. you weren’t wearing anything fancy. just a simple plaid flannel, blue jeans and doc marten boots but you wallowed in the possibility of it looking more presentable.

once you were satisfied you started walking to the entrance door as well, not even noticing that yeonjun had been holding the door for you and watching you the whole time. a grin flickered at the corner of his mouth. you playfully hit his chest with your cheeks blushing.

“stop it jun”.

he laughs. “I didn’t say anything”.

“but you’re thinking something else”.

god, that’s so embarrassing. you wondered if he knew. it was getting so obvious--okay maybe you did have a small crush on jun. you would at least admit that to yourself to save some dignity.

his hand unexpectedly curled around your waist as the waitress guided you two to a nearby booth. you didn’t know what to focus on first. that the diner wasn’t as musty and gross smelling as it looked on the outside or the fact that yeonjun was purposely trying to make you nervous. he sat across from you, thinking he was going to leave you alone but he thought you were so adorable when you were flustered. while you plucked up the menu he stretches out hand to touch yours while reading his own menu.

“what do you have a taste for?”.

your heart fluttered at the way his fingers rubbed your wrist before intertwining with yours. he knew. he knew you liked him. but little did you know this was his way of showing you he liked you back.

“um,”. you stammered growing nervous. “maybe pancakes or something”.

“hm, pancakes sound good. if you order some will you share with me? I want an omelette and toast”.

“how do you know I’m not dangerously starving too? what if I want all of my food?”.

he laughs and cups your cheek. “why are you being so mean baby?”.

you blush once more. “jun stop it”.

“you look so cute when you blush for me”.

“why are you playing around like this?”.

“who said I was playing around?”.

your heart sank. no way.

“i did. because you are”.

he smiles cutely, loving the way the sunset illuminated your face enhancing your beauty in it’s wake. you just didn’t know. you just didn’t know how beautiful you were in his eyes.

“you know you’re precious to me right?“. he rubs his thumb into your cheek a bit.

“yeonjun i don’t have time for your jokes today”.

“it’s not a joke. I promise. getting up and just running away from home is hectic for anyone. but i’m so glad i’m with you. I’ve never felt so happy and free in my whole entire life”.

“yeonjun?”.

“I’m serious. I joke about a lot of things but not this. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before”.

[thatweeboverthereisthirsty]

Hello! Can I request hcs for your top 5 favorite characters when they find out their fem s/o vapes/smokes? Have a nice day~💕

I loved writing these ngl. Also I did six because I have no idea how to choose between these guys. 

Characters: Leona, Ruggie, Floyd, Kalim, Idia, Malleus

Warnings: smoking&vaping, overdramatic teenage boys (leona isn’t a teenager, does malleus count?)

Leona:

He didn’t peg you to be that kind of person, but there was no doubt that you were vaping

He had smelled the weed on you a few times but didn’t comment. It was common for there to be clouds of vape in the bathrooms at school so he figured you had just walked through one

At first he wouldn’t comment, but he would watch you do it and keep track of how many times you took a hit and how frequently you pulled your pen out during the day

If he felt like there was nothing serious to worry about then he might let it fly a few times only commenting on how he hated the smell to try and persuade you to do it less often

If he was concerned about the amount of vaping you did, he would probably just steal all your stuff at first to see if you would stop

If that didn’t work then he would confront you about it asking why you started and how long you’ve been doing it

It’s unlikely that he’ll be super upset about it but he will ask you to stop and provide you with other solutions if needed

He prefers the you that isn’t higher than the clouds

After learning more about vaping and the fact that by inhaling toxic metals you could potentially die then he would put up more of a fight

If it got to the point where he was really concerned he might take you to a rehab center just so they could get you to stop (even if you weren’t addicted)

Ruggie:

Wait what?! You smoke!!!

He stares in shock as you pull the cigarette away from your mouth and blow out a large puff of smoke

No no no no no no no no!!!!!!!!!

Already running up to you and snatching the cigarette out of your hands

“Ruggie!”

Absolutely not. He’s seen enough people in the slums turn to smoking or that might even be the reason they were in the slums to begin with. 

He knows the cost. He has seen people die, or get violently sick, or run out of money because they smoke

It is not something he’s gonna watch you go through

Probably gonna yell at you about how awful this is for you before finding all your cigarettes and soaking them before chopping them into little pieces and throwing them away

He’s got a great sense of smell so if he smells nicotine on you again he would get really upset

Ruggie cares about you a lot but would still most definitely threaten you to get you to stop

If he threatens to end your relationship to that means he’s certainly worried about your health

He doesn’t care how you started in the first place he justs wants you to stop

Would totally beg Leona to pay for rehab

Would also totally drag you there

Floyd:

Eh? What’s little shrimpy doing?

Has zero clue what a vape is or how it works, but it looks fun let him try it too

You’re probably hesitant cause he doesn’t know what it is and if Azul and Jade found out they might get mad

He’s gonna try it anyways

Literally has no idea how to use it and probably ends up inhaling his own spit instead

He wants to know how you make clouds with your breath though, and oh! You can make it into shapes!

Definitely gonna ask Azul and his big brother about it

They casually explain what vaping is and what it does. They also tell him that it’s bad for you and he shouldn’t try it

“Huh? But little shrimpy does it all the time?”

Que a further explanation and advice on how to help you stop

He’s gonna pest you about it all the time now

“You didn’t swallow any clouds again today did you?”

“No Floyd I didn’t swallow any clouds”

It’s very easy for him to get you to stop since he’ll just squeeze you everytime he catches you doing it

And when he finds your pen he will pick it up and throw it away

Has he seen your vape? Of course not. Why would Floyd know where your cloud machine went?

Every time you get sick he accuses you of vaping too much

“You wouldn’t be stuck in bed all day if you hadn’t swallowed so many clouds, shrimpy.”

Kalim:

Immediate panic

“JAMIL!!!!!”

Literally Jamil does not have time for this

Tells him to calm down and just ask you about it

Ok yeah. Kalim can do that. He’s calm

He’s not calm

Forgets to ask you about it and instead asks if you wanna go for a ride

Legit takes you to a rehab center and cries at the front desk about you for like 40 min

The people ask you a few questions and determine that no you’re not addicted and tell Kalim that everything is gonna be fine

You are literally so confused right now

When you guys get home he can’t stop asking questions and telling you that it’s bad to smoke

Will bribe you to get you to stop

“I’ll buy you whatever you want just don’t do that”

Literally 100x more panicked than any other normal person

“BUT WHAT IF YOU DIE!!!!!!”

Doesn’t want to leave your side in case you do it again when he’s not looking

Jamil is 200% done with the dramatics

“Listen if you don’t stop I’ll actually poison your food. I have a hard enough time dealing with Kalim when he isn’t freaking out.”

Between the two of them it would just be easier to stop

Kalim will throw you a party for stopping

He’s so proud of you

“Baby you make me so proud!”

“Kalim she’s not your daughter *sigh*” - Jamil

“WHAT IF OUR DAUGHTER SMOKES!!!”

Hold up since when did he decide that-

Never mind 

Kalim is just a big drama baby and you love him for it

Idia:

Probably doesn’t really know what to think about it

On one hand you’re old enough to make your own decisions

On the other hand your decision making skills are obviously not great

Literally spend the next month trying to decide what to do about it

Makes a pros and cons visual board for confronting you about it

Also writes up a list of reactions to his confrontation

Probably also writes up like 17 different scripts all in a choose your own ending type format to include how to deal with every reaction

Ngl he panics a lot cause he knows that vaping is bad but after finding out you do it he can’t stop watching these really concerning youtube videos about how people’s lives turned into a total complete disaster because of vaping

He becomes a nervous wreck every time you smell like weed

Always has you count to ten when he sees you

Likely has visions of you in the hospital or homeless on the street wheezing about how you wished someone had stopped you 

Either you’re gonna catch on and ask him about it, initiating the conversation or he’s gonna have Ortho do it

He’s worried you will leave him for not being supportive

Literally asks you if you’re gonna leave him for this

Obviously you won’t so when you confirm that you’re staying he melts into a puddle and just cries

Highkey he looks more like one of those crazy people from the videos than you

“But Idia you’re addicted to video games and sugar. People say that’s as bad as cocaine”

Figures out that sugar releases the same chemical in your brain as cocaine

“What if you just ate a bunch of candy with me instead? We can be sugar addicts together.” (Idia I’d love to but no amount of candy is worth a break out)

Fine fine fine you’ll stop (but only cause he literally looks like he’s having withdrawals just from worrying about you) it’s ironic

Malleus:

Most dramatic by far

WHY WOULD A FRAGILE HUMAN PURPOSELY PUT THEIR HEALTH AT RISK

Ngl has zero clue what’s going on until Lilia points it out

“Huh doesn’t smoking kill humans?”

*blink* *blink*

Smoking does what to a human

“DARLING!!!!”

Seriously thinks that your going to die any minute now

Que the mental breakdown

Calls all the best healers and puts you on bed rest

“Darling I know we’re gonna get through this. Just keep fighting”

Ummm… you have no idea what’s happening

He just kidnapped you from class and put you in a Diasomnia room and started weeping like you were dying

Lowkey he already started looking at ways to preserve your body as long as possible

Also looks at coffins and tombstones

Highkey plans to buy you a large plot of land that looks over the pretty stuff in the valley of thorns

Why? you ask.

Because obviously you deserve a whole cemetery to yourself

“Malleus I’m not gonna-”

“Shhh don’t speak. You’ll only make it harder to heal”

Lilia walks in and finds this

Probably thinks this is super sweet and totally wants to leave you guys like this

But doesn’t want Malleus to suffer and you to be held on house arrest for no reason

“She’s not dying Malleus”

What? Ooooooohhhh… oops

He gets embarrassed af

Has to call back all the people he hired to prepare for your death

“Um hi there. Turns out I don’t need that jewel encrusted coffin. No no the pyramid should still be built, humans have short life spans.”

“MALLEUS!!!!”

He is so grateful you’re not dying

But would totally get pissed if you decided to smoke again

Guess that’s the end of that