#their hatred is getting out of hand
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It's so so fucking embarrassing to be a JJ.K manga fan right now.
#i am divorcing myself from those ungrateful spoiled brats#their hatred is getting out of hand#it's one thing to be disappointed and wish for something a bit better in the action because i do too (i wanted more)#but discrediting the work poured on the entire S2? trashing the actual merits/achievements S2 staff did so far?#all because of a fucking change in 'camera angle' of a single scene?! oh come on!#if the only thing they can do is whine about how it's not exactly the manga then maybe they should stop watching the anime altogether#they should just watch a colored motionless animation style of the jj.k manga maybe they'd be happier#sorry for the salt#i should stop lurking on the obnoxious side of the jj.k fandom from now on#the meta there isn't worth it anymore#i'll just stick around here in tumblr#people are a bit saner here#i hope this is not another cs.m backlash thing#all of the insane loud hate i see so far are from western part of the fandom#i haven't seen yet if the situation is the same in jp fandom
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a spell is cast on camelot that thins the veil enough for ghosts to appear. the catch? the ghosts that appear are spirits of people that were killed by the person they’re haunting. the knights have a good amount of bandits/raiders/whatever that they took down in battle, maybe a few shady knights have genuinely innocent people that they murdered and got away with. the executioner’s killings are transferred to the king since he was simply acting out the king’s commands. arthur has quite a few. uther has hundreds of sorcerers in various states of gore and horror. those who were hanged have perpetually bent necks, those who were beheaded have either no head or just a head floating a bit above their body, and those who were burnt are more charred remains (the most grisly of them all). merlin has more than anyone expected (which was zero) and all of them keep calling out for arthur/uther’s death and camelot’s downfall while also turning to merlin and calling him a traitor.
#who knows what happens after that#merlin hiding after the spell takes affect bc how is he supposed to explain all these ghosts following after him#finding out that the spell has been placed on everyone and spirits of the dead have made their home in camelot to terrorize the living#arthur freaking over all the people he’s killed appearing in his chambers and waking him up#uther having the most spirits by far constantly surrounding him and just screaming#in pain. in agony. in despair. in hatred. in sorrow.#just hundreds of spirits calling for justice#arthur is horrified by just how many people his father has killed#hes always known but hes never thought about it long enough for it to sink in#but it gets so much worse when through the mob of dead sorcerers#his mother appears#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#fanfiction#fanfic#fic ideas#prompts#merthur#uther pendragon#ygraine pendragon#arthur finding merlin and taking in the plethora of people that supposedly merlin has killed#all of them calling out for arthurs death when they spot him#merlin shrugging helplessly and arthur is forced to confront the fact that merlin’s hands are BLOODY and its all in his name
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
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mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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idk personally I think at the end of NATM1 Ahkmenrah should have gotten to have Cecil dragged back to his exhibit and have his hands cut off, as would have been an the appropriate punishment for a grave robber in ancient egypt, but that’s just me
#For historical accuracy I should note that punishments for grave robbing did vary; cutting of the hands was just one. not the worst either#Technically he didn’t rob Ahks grave but he a) helped and b) locked Ahk in his sarcophagus for 50 years so I say more than fair#plus I for (some strange reason) get the feeling that Ahk's fathers rule would have smiled to kindly on grave robbers.#I was gonna make a nice normal post like “ahk should have gotten to sock him in the jaw” but then I remembered I’m full of history nerd rag#And on tumblr.#Cecil’s lucky Ahkmenrah is about 1000% times nicer than everyone else#the second I found out he was the old nightgaurd I would have kicked him in the dick but that’s just me#you could have hit him Ahk. Nobody would blame you.#Aside from the fact that it’s a family movie and chopping off a guys hands for the crime of grave robbing is probably not super appropriate#It would not be in character for Ahk to do any of that. Which is a shame.#…My hatred for British Egyptology may impact my feelings regarding some characters#I have a lot of pent up history nerd rage#Natm#ahkmenrah#natm ahkmenrah#night at the museum#natm Cecil Fredericks#Night at the museum
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Starbreaker is a fun dynamic to play with, they don’t have to be healthy and they don’t have to be in love to be whatever they are. Like I imagine that for Porter, killing Jace didn’t mean much it was a means to an end, it served a purpose, it could’ve been anybody. Love was the farthest thing from porters mind. Obsession was the closest he ever got to that. He had a goal to achieve and that was all that mattered.
Maybe Jace resented Porter the entire time, maybe he wanted him dead but didn’t feel strong enough to do it. Maybe he took comfort in whatever stockholm syndrome came with being tied to some like that, reveled in it. Because it was the most normal part of whatever else his life was for almost two years.
In canon, they’re dead, yes. But through creation they got second, third, fifth, hundredth, and infinite chances at life. Maybe in some of those, when the dust settles, they still choose each other because in a way just get each other, they get the obsession and the need and maybe over time something changes. That need becomes a want that becomes a choice to let the other in, to see the other for all they are no matter how visceral and to say, despite it all, I love you.
#there’s room for love in their dynamic and I’ll dig it out of the dirt with my bare hands#idkidkidk I just like it if they fall in love I like it when they’re soft#give me them falling in love in universes when#give them choosing each other over violence and hatred#give it all to me#I love smut it’s fun but I love to kick my feet in the air and giggle bc one of them did something that made the other feel special#maybe it’s just me#idk idk idk#jaceporter#dimension 20#fhjy#d20 fhjy#fantasy high junior year#I gotta get the thoughts out#starbreaker
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U of M sounds like a nightmare rn. I’m an MSU graduate who wants do my PhD in geophysics and I’ve considered U of M bc they do have a good geology department but I think I’m just gonna uhhh Not Go There. I haven’t really heard what’s up with MSU but I know we had an SJP chapter 🥴 So I suspect it’s not quiet. But U of M’s antisemitism makes HEADLINES, stay safe
It's really more of a mixed bag. The antisemitism here is very real and very scary, you'll never catch me denying that. But it's not the whole story.
On October 7th this year, there may have been an SJP protest at Rackham. But the Diag was like a mini Hostages Square all day long, and there were hundreds of people at the memorial in the evening. Hundreds of people saying a prayer for the state of Israel and mourner's kaddish, hundreds of people singing acheinu and hatikvah. A week or so prior, 500 people gathered on the diag in support of Jewish students and our right to be here. And I can't speak to the latter, as I wasn't there, but on the 7th campus security was by us all day to make sure nothing happened.
If I recall correctly, about 15% of the student body here is Jewish. We have a very active Hillel, as well as a Jewish Resource Center and a Chabad. Even when campus is scary, we've got each other and we've got a lot of each other. There is fear, but there's hope too.
#spent awhile figuring out how i wanted to articulate this#cause like. on one hand i don't want to minimize the very real antisemitism here#i know of all the attacks on jewish students and i know that a lot of my peers hate jews so much. i know it real deep#this is my second year in a row where the dorm room directly across the hall has 'from the river to the sea' on their door#(different people)#i lost probably a majority of the friends i made last year to jew hatred#but at the same time my day to day experience of campus is largely positive#i wear a bring them home dogtag every day and only two people have ever commented on it#one of them was also wearing one. the other was a hebrew classmate who told me he's close friends with one of the hostages#i see visibly jewish students around all the time even excluding my hebrew classmates (as that is admittedly a biased sample)#idk how to conclude here i guess i just wanted to get across that it's not all bad#we're here and we'll continue to be here and we're gonna be okay#jumblr
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Tossing around the idea of Vat’il getting stuck in drow society between him trying to leave the Underdark and finding Bhaal’s temple
Have some loose outfit doodles- I have no idea how long he’s there for so he gets designs for his child and teenage self :>
#on one hand- him being there for a good long while could lead to lots of fun things#on the other hand it would kill the vat/orin childhood shenanigans :(#but I think that’s the way I’m leaning??#not that children have never escaped drow cities before but it’d be damn difficult#like he’d be rolling straight 20s to get out of there when he’s 10 djdjdjdj#he’d get there at roughly 8 years old#and I have no idea how long I want him to be there for (but I do think I want it to happen just cause it’d reinforce/explain some things)#like his incredibly deep hatred for Lolth#or how he became a monk#which was probably still mostly self taught on his end#it just fits nicer in my brain than him doing monk things in bhaals temple#anyways it’s messy right now djdjdjjdjd#doodle#sketch#oc#bg3#bg3 oc#bg3 durge#the dark urge#Vat’il
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NOBODY MOVE I'M HAVING POSITIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT MORDRED AND ATLAS.
#they finally talk. mordred tells his big brother that 'once upon a time i was supposed to stop breathing before i hit my teens.'#he tells him everything about knowing when his death day passed about the nightmares and the confusion and the agoraphobia#he tells him about his insecurities and his self-hatred -- how terribly must he have fucked up to not even be worthy of dying?#he tells him he's scared and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do with all this....life.#and atlas is THERE and he hugs him and he's so fucking relieved that - whatever his brother was meant for - he survived.#he hugs his little brother and tells him its okay to be scared because no one really knows what theyre doing with their lives#he holds his face between his hands and god when did mordred get so big?#''all you have to do is KEEP living okay? that's what you do with life: you live it.''#its not exactly poetry but it IS what mordred needs to hear#ive been thinking A Lot about mordred making an appearance in the searching but idk for sure yet#i just need to figure out WHEN this conversation happens so i can wrap up mordreds arc the way he deserves#i think im gonna try patching his and atlas's relationship across the second and third book#like atlas is HOME and then he's not and mordred is bitter but then- a letter. atlas has written to him.#and he keeps writing. bc he knows now what it is to lose someone and he doesnt want to lose his brother#so they're pen pals!! and it's stiff and formal and awkward and slow going but eventually they're exchanging gossip and venting and.#aaaa#happy lavore content wow look at me go#lavore brothers#mordred lavore#atlas lavore
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Porfiry telling Raskolnikov that at least he was honest and in one bound took the furthest leap to put his theory to the test of actual action——
#Taylor believing a man who is obviously lying to her#like. it’s fascinating to me how they’ll say anything to her and she’ll be like ‘okay let’s go’#she’s never read Jane Austen and it shows. but that’s okay because she’s the character in an Austen novel#she has no sense of self-preservation she has no common sense when it comes to love#and the reason I have endless patience for that is because she IS different. she is extraordinary. she is WEIRD. she’s so needy#so angry so fragile so stupid so brilliant so completely helpless#like the bolter———I can’t even LOOK at it right now#because you know she was like this since she was 5 and SHE knows it#just so. Different. so strange. I mean she ruled her family with an iron fist from the age of 11#and her packaging is so basic and she she had so much access to everything anyone could want#so there are none of the usual marks of someone being so Different#but like. people HATED her from day one. you know her own strength of personality was drawing out many people’s hatred or envy#and she’s so helpless in her own personality because she can never change#like thank you aimee? or whatever? heck yeah there was some girl who bullied her and brutalized her on the playground#and you know it devastated Taylor from day one and still does#and it’s just. I don’t know how people can’t see that someone with that extraordinary set of gifts#wouldn’t also suffer in such an extraordinary way#and ways that elicit so much scorn and non-sympathy because people are unsettled and jealous and annoyed by her#because she WILL find a way to win#but isn’t that proof enough that she is the very OPPOSITE OF NORMAL#it’s why people have to be like ‘oh she sold her soul to the devil for this success.’ or whatever the psy-op spy thing is#because there’s no human way to explain her success if she really were as basic/talentless as people say#ugh this is all so incoherent and irritating and I’m so sorry but I just. I cannot explain how protective my heart is of her#and all the many many mistakes she’s made and the prisons she’s made for herself because she’s LIVING the tragedy#of never having denied herself one time/getting everything she wants#and discovering the poison at the bottom of everything she reached for with desperate hands#like. I love her so much and I am so protective of her because she is so helpless and she is getting shot in the face every time#and she feels every blow!#whew I need to turn off reblogs and will probably delete but I just#this album is all of her spilled out and people DO hate to see it because a lot of people hate her!!!!
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I used to think that having a college roommate meant you were contractually obligated to be best friends but now I realize that it’s actually a psychological experiment to see how close to murder you can get
#I have a seething hatred for my roommates#their names start with B and Z so I call them Bitchy and Zitchy#I tried so hard to be friends with them but they are everything that’s wrong with privileged university students#Zitchy expects to be worshipped after cleaning out the microwave for 20 minutes#but when i was on my hands and knees for 2 hours cleaning out the mold growing in the microwave that their food left#I get nothing#my only reward was getting my hands torn apart by bleach#if the purge happens I’m definitely murdering them first#college#uni#roommates#random#college roommate
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AAAAAAND IT'S HEADACHE WITH THE STEEL CHAIR
#i am going to finish my schoolwork and play stardew valley i am going to finish my schoolwork an play stardew valley I AM GOING TO-#currently i have a bad cold and i'm running on like 3 hours of sleep and i am trying not to feed into the manic episode#i was veeeeeeery manic yesterday lmao#the great thing is i can manage one disorder with the other LMAO out here rocking and hand waving to make myself normal long enough#to fucking RETOPOLOGIZE this fucking SHIRT#the great thing about bpd episodes also is the fact you'll be having a great awesome high energy time#and then your brain goes 'you should kill yourself! :D :D :D'#like with that tone#my inner monologue just going 'wow everything is soooo great! die!'#i mean realistically there's very little difference between the extreme energy and the extreme self hatred to me it's all just the same#it's the ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#i think bpd is best known for short extremely variable bursts of emotion but like#all of those emotions are the same episode right#so if i'm super happy and then angry and then depressed it's all the exact same#sometimes i get like. exact opposite thoughts in my head 2 seconds apart repeating back and forth#it's very overwhelming!#but the fun thing about prolonged episodes is that once you know you're in one you can kinda just keep doing your thing but acting weird#like i don't know how to get out of this episode but it doesn't matter cause i can still do my dang homework right#the homework is getting done#anyway uhhhhh sorry about the mile of tags!#did i mention! episode!!
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wrath 🎀
u fucking whore i hope you (buffering. reload. reload) live your life far away from me where we never have anything to do with each other again. i’m sick of being the bigger person and i have a right to resent you for what you’ve done actually you piece of shit. i will not forgive u. good luck with your life but i will win. i’m better than you and i will win.
#i can’t give up girlies#i won’t die and in ten years we’ll meet again for the reunion and u will see#embracing hatred and spite#i really need to eat something before i lose my marbles for real#’ru mad at me about something’ boy the audacity. quit asking this#reason u don’t know is the very reason i’m so pissed off in the first place#i’m the abnormal one for not being over this entire shitshow by now but i have never felt a normal proportion of emotion about anything#this is established#you on the other hand don’t give a shit about anything#ion wanna pretend i’m ok with this rn get the fuck out of this country already#go home#get ur rich family to buy u that m2 and terrorize the english highways what the fuck do i care#i’ll buy my whip with my own money motherfucker#man i’m a bad friend#i’m a bad person#added to list of posts i should probably keep in my drafts but i don’t care; this is my house#huuuuuuu ion wanna talkkk right nowww but what the fuck am i supposed to say#‘ru mad at me?’ yes very much so#why? misplaced sense of entitlement maybe??? i’m evil?? i’m silly and childish and not being fair to you#i don’t want to talk#splitting headache#deep breath. don’t be a sissy little bitch and say the right thing. let me cook
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Theyre going to think I like canon and purely canon if I keep going on like this
#i. despite my many complaints. do enjoy comics. and going into the Comic Reading Fandom#there is a shocking amount of people who are purely in the fandom but have never interacted with the source#while i do believe its fine to dabble in something you haven't seen the source for yet but plan to#being a creating active presence in fandom for something youre not a fan of. just doesn't sit with me#its just a bit baffling. to be a fan of the fandom amd never touch the canon#like lifelong christians who attend every service and judge others based on gods word. who have never even read the full bible.#its just all the pastors word and stories n verses they grew up with#thats exactly how i see it I fear#fanon dynamics and tropes heavily overwhelm the canon. and i tend to prefer the canon. so it gets frustrating#not to mention how many popular ones completely flip characters. reinforce stereotypes. have even more confusing timelines. etc#its like the online fan equivalent of years of domestication and breeding that turned wolves to pugs#not that extreme but you get me#i mess with canon. i like to get silly with it. i like to fuck around#plenty of things i dont like i Will ignore or rewrite! or make an au where i can do whatever on earth i want#i dont respect canon or think its the end all be all and if you step one foot out of line of canon ill maul you like an angry dog#its just like! maybe read the one singular comic issue youre about base your entire interpretation on the fanon version of#this is ending in just me complaining about titans tower yeah. sorry. its the prime example i fear#but at least its easy to filter out#man! if i just had a way to filter things out better..#sometimes it reaches the point where i consider just blocking the entire tim tag. sorry tim#i Will uplift the community i desire instead of focusing on my hatred and complaining!!#i just need to get out of art block and find cool blogs to follow that Get Me to help me out first!!#unfortunately i have a really weird complex about following people especially if they followed me first!!!#not sure what thats about!!#but ill get to the other things!!!#i am also just a complainer though !#and i get into arguments alot without realizing it because i love noting every detail and correcting people!!#i tried to put every william mention and appearance from tse in a google doc. and with ralpho. thsoe got much easier when i got#digital copies of the fnaf books. but what im saying is i LOVE having all the facts n details abt my blorbos. esp in over detailed notes.fu#havijg all the references on hand! and sharing my precious beautiful knowledge. carefully noted bc my poor memory. very delightful. fun!
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woke up from a nap thinking of her*
(*the original incarnation of fall out boy’s seventh studio album, MANIA)
#please don’t take this to be mania slander bc. mania is a near-perfect PERFECT album to me#it’s probably my no. 3 fob album of all time!! (no.2 if you consider the ioh folie tie to be one entity)#but I can’t stop thinking about what she could have been if y&m hadn’t divided the fanbase so horrifically#I can’t help but wonder what those three songs that ended up being scrapped might have sounded like#(yknow. the ones joe worked closely on and was so excited about. the ones he talked about in his book)#and idk. it makes me so sad that the fans (fans!!!! yknow the people who are supposed to be supportive!!) reacted with such visceral#animosity and hatred that fall out boy (musicians who are well versed with rejection and public disapproval) felt the need to backtrack#regroup and REVISE an album that they had created with their little hands!!!!!!#anyway. im getting emotional#but just to be clear. if you talked shit (publically) about y&m when it came out. I kinda hate you#ignore me!!!! look away!!!!!#kayce’s corner.txt
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hi Margin! idk if you're still doing those 3-sentence fics, but in case you are, here's a prompt suggestion: "dawn"
bonus points if it's HW zelink? <3
Ohohohohohohohoho YES >:)
(full disclosure this was sitting in my inbox for weeks because i couldn't figure out what to write but i did it today in math class so here you go)
He was stern, and cold, and dispassionate; a statue, they called him, beautiful and unfeeling and as pristinely white as marble, resistant to the colors of love and laughter- or at least, that's what they said.
She was beautiful too, but not in his opaque, colorless way- if he was a marble statue, she was a stained-glass window, full of light and warmth and color, and her soul was the dawn that shone through and cast her illuminating hues on the grey congregation of the soldiers around her.
And when he was with her- when the dawn of her smile graced the Captain, not grey and battered like his men but pristinely alabaster- he absorbed her color; the white and colorless turned brilliant shades of gold and green and blue, and the few blessed to witness this transfiguration swore that, for a moment, she could make their Captain look almost human.
#guys i swear paladin's not actually cold and unfeeling okay#it's just how most people perceive him#on top of his army conditioning he has the self-hatred that comes from knowing a time witch started an interdimensional war because#she got the hots for him#so my guy's retreated WAY into his shell like. 10 times more than the average link because of said time witch and her hots#he's gaslit himself into thinking that he needs to be emotionally stable (read: repressed) to be an effective captain#because otherwise he'll get too attached to his men and won't be able to move on from mourning them when they inevitably die#or worse- he'd get caught up in his emotions and unwittingly give cia an upper hand#in actuality his heart is too big for his body#but because of his self control (read: emotional repression) the only person who can coax him out of the prison of his own design is zelda#and lana and impa (and baby orpheus) to some extent#but mostly zelda#because they love each other <3#i don't know why i felt the need to explain all this in the tags but i didn't want y'all to think i actually write him as cold and distant#that was EXTREMELY important for me to be clear about#margin writes#you ask margin babbles#my beloved hyrule warriors
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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that
#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back#sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with#idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that#community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize#bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought#he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive#i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better#so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH#my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body#believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how#as a woman#can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids#when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me#when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison#in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty#i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing#but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with#reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers#tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like#i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming#you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in#i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement#singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now#there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart
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