#their friendship is the most important thing in the world to me you don't understand

[shuffleoflove]

some of my favourite panels from the new update :)

[astrosamara]

Astrology Observations #4

🩵Sun in 8th & 12th house are incredibly talented individuals with unique gifts to share with the world, but a lot of the time this potential is unseen to them and they can struggle a lot with their purpose. These people can also attract a lot of jealousy from people who don't want to see them win in life.

🩵So many Pisces suns I know radiate this effortlessly cool vibe and people naturally want to be around them. Unfortunately for Pisces, their energy gets depleted around people quickly and they require a lot of alone time or their vibe can turn sour fast.

🩵Earth suns, especially Capricorns, unfairly get labeled as being too boring and practical. These people can make great friends who are grounded and reliable though. This energy gets taken for granted in friendships I feel like.

🩵You might find yourself frequently getting crushes on people with their sun or moon in your 5th and 7th houses.

🩵Moon in 6th house are more sensitive than others to their environment and daily routines. They can struggle feeling grounded in their emotions, since their environment is so strongly connected to their inner world.

🩵Saturn in 1st can be insanely critical over their physical appearance. They might not take pictures of themselves very often, but when they do, they can obsess over how they look in them. I have this placement and I don't have that many pictures of myself when I was a teenager because I hated getting my picture taken. My entire day would be ruined if I saw a bad picture of myself.

🩵Venus in 1st is a placement I've always been jealous of, they just radiate feminine beauty and can have a strong interest and understanding of fashion. I've also noticed that there can be something unique about their beauty that really makes people notice them.

🩵Scorpio Venus can struggle a lot with limerence. They frequently mistake obsession for love. They might not even be interested in someone unless they feel like they're obsessed with them. Crushes in general can feel all consuming for them.

🩵Scorpio's are also great at hiding things from people and will only show a side of themselves that they want to portray. They understand the importance of keeping things private and will truly take their secrets to the grave.

🩵Pisces mercuries will blurt out the most random things in a group conversation that will leave everyone speechless and confused. I swear their minds are just tapped into a different dimension lol. Also incredibly funny.

🩵If you have any planets conjunct your chiron, there can be a great source of pain within the themes of this planet, but if you focus on healing this energy it can become a great source of power for you. I have chiron conjunct my mercury and I grew up extremely shy and afraid to use my voice. Now, I've found that journaling and writing about my pain has become incredibly therapeutic for me and it's strengthened my ability to communicate about my emotions.

🩵Mars in 6th house tend to be really passionate about trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle. They feel great when they prioritize their health and when they follow a schedule. I have this placement in Virgo and I can get so grouchy and irritable if I don't eat well and get some sort of movement in for the day.

🩵North node in 6th house can really struggle with being an active participant in their life. With their south node in the 12th house, they feel most comfortable observing other people's lives and blending into the background. Learning to embrace the spotlight and be seen by others will be very important for them in being on the right path.

🩵Sun in 1st house people can literally or metaphorically have a shine or glow to them. They radiate this light, warm, welcoming energy that makes people just want to look at them and be around them. Also, natural entertainers. They're meant for the spotlight in some way or another.

🩵Mars in 3rd house are constantly traveling and seeking adventure. They're always down to try new things or go somewhere new. I have a friend with this placement that is seemingly always traveling, in a new place, or trying a new hobby every time I talk to them. They don't like being stagnant.

[ariesangelxo]

mornings - part two

MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI

cw: more angst, still no comfort (i promise it’s coming in the next part), heartbreak, one mention of panic attacks, prescription benzo use, recreational coke use, drinking, arguing, mention of a gun and a gunshot at the end, not proofread lol

an: thank u all SO SO much for all of the love on part one !!! i am blown away and in awe. there also will be a part three for sure <3

part three

the past twenty-six days had not been kind to you. your mornings were spent rotting away in bed until your mom would force you to get up, her expression of concern always made you feel even worse. your days weren’t much better, you forced yourself to detach from your heart and numb your emotions. it was the only way you knew how to keep going. you put on a mask during the day with your parents, giving them occasional smiles and laughs that weren’t the kind that warmed their hearts. they knew you weren’t okay, but they also knew they couldn’t force you to talk about it or you’d shut down completely. your nights consisted of taking a benzodiazepine in order to fall asleep, you couldn’t sleep without them. you tried, it only led to intense panic attacks and hysterical sobs that made your mother’s heart break in front of you.

this morning had been a bit different. you were awakened when you felt a weight in your bed, and in the haze of waking up you initially thought it was rafe. you shot up the moment you remembered everything, eyes widening and heart racing, but you looked over to see sarah in your bed. "oh my god, sarah you scared the hell out of me!" you exclaimed, holding a hand over your chest.

she let out a giggle, "i'm sorry, your mom let me in. i miss you," her tone was gentle. you had become very close with sarah during your relationship with rafe. being over at the cameron's house so often led to a beautiful friendship forming between the two of you. she was like a sister to you, something you cherished deeply as you didn't grow up with a sister.

you felt a pang of guilt in your chest at her words. you knew she missed you, she'd messaged you every single day since your break up without fail, even if you didn't always text back. you had seen her a couple times, but when she asked about what happened, you told her you weren't ready to talk about it. sarah was incredibly understanding, knowing how much you loved her brother and not wanting to push you too far.

"i miss you too, sar. i'm sorry i've been such a shit friend lately." you responded to her. you gave her a small smile, curling up next to her as she sat against your headboard.

"it's okay, i know you're not doing great with everything going on right now," she trailed off with a sad smile, "but, you're going out with me tonight!" she became animated as she spoke.

you didn't have it in your heart to deny her, not when she looked at you like you were the most important person in her world. "you know i can't say no to you. where are we going?" you asked curiously.

"there's going to be a huge party at the boneyard, and you're coming with me. no ifs, ands, or buts." she giggled out, "i need to get you out of your room, you're rotting away in here, babe."

"god, you sound just like my mother," you teased back. "i'll go though, i miss you more than you know. i even miss the pogues a bit." you both laughed, referencing her newer relationship with john b.

you couldn't prevent your curiosity from getting the better of you, "how- how has he been?"

sarah bit her lip, debating internally how much to tell you. "he's been... not great. i don't see him much when i'm home, he's usually in his room with the door shut. he's been a lot more moody too, snapping at literally everyone in the house. it probably didn't help that i told him he's an idiot and he fucked up the best thing to ever happen to him."

you couldn't suppress the laugh that slipped through your lips or the slight satisfaction you felt knowing that you weren't the only one struggling. "i love you sar. thank you." you leaned over, giving her a hug.

"i love you too. now get your ass up and shower. we're getting you a new outfit for the party."

you spent the next few hours strolling through the streets of figure eight with sarah. your arms held multiple shopping bags, filled with clothes she insisted you needed for tonight. you were incredibly grateful that she had forced you out of bed, you actually felt human for the first time since everything happened.

you found yourself in a small cafe, giggling as sarah told you a story from one of her drunken adventures with the pogues.

“you know… you should talk to jj tonight. i know he thinks you’re hot.” sarah gave you a mischievous smile as she wiggled her brows.

“funny,” you rolled your eyes playfully at her, “but it’s way too soon for me to get into anything with anybody right now.”

“i didn’t mean start dating him, i just think you would have fun together.”

“i just- i don’t know, sar. i’ve been such a wreck these past few weeks… can i tell you what happened?” you looked up from your fingers to meet her eyes, now widened with shock.

“yeah, of course you can. but don’t feel like you have to if you don’t want to.”

you were grateful for her support, going into your explanation of how the last couple months of your relationship, rafe’s behavior changed drastically. sarah hung on to your every word, needing to know exactly what led to the end of your relationship.

“and so i walked into the country club to surprise him. i spent the whole morning getting ready, did my makeup how he likes, even wore a new sundress that i know he would have loved. but i walked in and…” you looked up as your vision began to blur, “he was talking with some bitch i’ve never seen before bartending. she had short brunette hair, but he fucking smirked at her the way he only does- did for me. and- and then, she basically fucking held his hand while she fucked him with her eyes, and he let it happen!”

you spit the words out like they were poison on your tongue, not noticing your voice beginning to raise with frustration. sarah’s jaw was nearly on the floor.

“what the- what the fuck?” she racked her brain, trying to remember if she’d seen anyone matching your description recently, but nothing came to her.

“god, shit. i’m so sorry, babe. i don’t know what the fuck is wrong with him.” she attempted to console you as you dabbed your eyes with a napkin.

you shrugged your shoulders, “what’s done is done. i just want to forget about everything for a while.”

she nodded, “then let’s go get ready. we can pregame at yours and ride with john b and them.”

after a few shots, a couple hours spent transforming yourself to not look like you spent the last three weeks trying to cope with your break up, and a lot of laughter, you and sarah were ready to go.

you wore a cropped loosely crocheted white sweater over your pink bikini and a white miniskirt that hugged your hips , the strings from your bottom peaking out from the top of it. you were finally feeling good about yourself again, and you’d be damned if you let anyone ruin it.

the ride to the boneyard only lifted your spirits more. it was impossible not to laugh around the pogues, especially when jj did whatever he could to hear your giggle.

you arrived just as the party was beginning to pick up. relief flooded your veins when you didn’t see rafe anywhere. you knew it was a possibility he’d be here, but it was going to be significantly easier to have a decent night without his presence lingering around.

you filled up a red solo cup at the keg, downing the cheap alcohol before refilling it.

“slow down there, or you might not make it too long.” jj approached you, giving you a flirty smile.

you gave him a laugh in response, “i’ll be fine, jay. i just want to be able to let loose tonight.”

“stick by me then, don’t want any of these pervs creeping on you.” the thinly veiled concern in his voice made you smile. you know he’s flirting, but it’s clear he wants to keep you safe knowing it’s your first night out in so long.

you spent the next hour surrounded by the pogues, and true to his word, jj looked out for you. he did so well that you failed to notice who had shown up to the party, the one and only rafe cameron.

rafe, on the other hand, saw you immediately upon arriving. it was impossible for him not to when your presence demanded his attention. he was not happy to see who you were hanging around with. his ongoing beef with the pogues was well known by everybody on the island. he didn’t come to party though, he had other business to attend to as barry gave him a side eye, “fuck are you doing, country club? you can fight for your girl later, we’ve got shit to do.”

your drink had somehow disappeared. your furrowed your brows as you looked down, giggling to yourself as you told your friends you were going to get another one. you were at the perfect level of drunk, not to the point of blacking out or vomiting, but to where you couldn’t quite walk in a straight line and everything was funny to you.

you stumbled up to the keg, starting to fill up your cup when you felt someone watching you. the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, you instantly knew who it was. it was as though there was a chip in you that alerted you to when he was nearby. you took a deep breath as you turned your head slightly, seeing rafe sat next to a man you didn’t know as he handed a small plastic bag filled with overpriced coke to a touron. rafe’s eyes didn’t leave you as he signaled him to leave.

you could hear your heartbeat in your ears, the hand holding onto your cup now trembling and the lump in your throat building. rafe stood, starting to approach you as you froze. your brain was screaming at you to run but your body refused to move an inch.

“what the fuck do you want, cameron?” your words were spat out with venom. your tone clearly surprised you both as he looked shocked momentarily. you were typically one to stand your ground, but never ever was your attitude aimed towards him.

“what do you mean ‘what the fuck do i want’? you fucking up and left out of nowhere and haven’t spoken to me in almost a month.” his voice was filled with anger, his nose flaring as he clenched his jaw.

you let out a humorless laugh, “out of nowhere? you can’t be serious, rafe. you treated me like shit the last few months of our relationship.” you didn’t yet mention seeing his interaction with the bartender at the country club, not knowing if topper and kelce had told him about seeing you when you left that fateful day.

“what? be-because i couldn’t be with you twenty-four fucking seven? like i- i wasn’t out working my ass off to afford nice shit for you?”

“‘working your ass off’ will you stop fucking lying to me? i fucking saw you at the country club,” his facial expression showed confusion, bringing his brows together to try and understand what you were talking about, “you let that bitch touch you, you looked at her how you used to look at me. i spent hours getting ready, i showed up, wanting to surprise my boyfriend for lunch, and what do i see? my boyfriend letting some bartender hang off of him while he flirts with her?”

your voice had raised as you got more and more angry. you were now shouting at him as other partygoers failed to hide their stares and murmuring. nobody ever talked to the kook prince the way you currently were, unless they wanted their face bashed in.

rafe grabbed your arm harshly, pulling you down the beach and away from others. you stumbled behind him, knowing you weren’t physically or mentally strong enough to push him away.

when you looked up at him, you suddenly noticed his blown-out pupils. you felt your heart sink. “you’re using again.” you stated flatly.

he scoffed, rolling his eyes at you. “don’t act like you fucking care.” he spat out at you.

“jesus fucking christ- rafe, when did you start again?”

“don’t worry about it. when did you come to the country club?” his tone was demanding, sparking further irritation in you.

“the day i left. i- i let a lot of shit slide for too long, because… because i wanted to be a good girlfriend and support you when i thought you were just stressed out from work. and, in return, i get to watch my boyfriend make me look like a fucking idiot.”

rafe was silent for a minute, his lips pursed as he clearly was trying to remember what he was doing before he came home to an angry ward and an empty room. then realization hit him, he knew exactly what you were talking about. he brought his palm up to his face, groaning.

when he was about to speak, he was cut off. “is cameron bothering you?” jj’s familiar voice called out. you looked past rafe’s large figure to see all of the pogues standing beside him, looking ready for a fight if it came to it.

rafe gave a humorless chuckle, “stay the fuck out of it, pogue.” he clearly wouldn’t go down without a fight either.

your heart stopped for a moment and your body filled with ice cold terror as jj pulled out a gun that was hidden behind his back in his waistband. it was clear you weren’t the only one not expecting it as the rest of them looked at jj with concern, john b telling him to put it away. “yeah? let’s fucking go, rafe. been itching for a fight for too long.”

everything became blurred. the mixture of shouting, seeing figures suddenly moving towards each other, and the unmistakeable sound of a gunshot, and then everything went black.

[uncle-fruity]

HEY! HEY, YOU! YEAH! YOU!

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Your friends aren't your therapists"?

If you've been on the internet enough, I think it's a sentiment that's pretty difficult to miss.

But you know what that means, right?

It's meant to warn people not to place too much personal baggage onto their friends when they should be unpacking it with a professional. It's to say that venting to your friends shouldn't be your main source of coping. That is to say: most of your friends are probably unqualified to untangle complex emotional & mental health problems, and if you expect them to endlessly listen to your problems & have them help "fix" you, then that's usually going to end up in stress and tension in your relationship (or worse).

Do you know what "Your friends aren't your therapists" DOESN'T mean?

It DOESN'T mean that you shouldn't ever seek any emotional support from your friends or that you should keep all your problems to yourself.

Yes, it's important to establish boundaries in all your relationships. If there's something you'd rather not hear from your friends (and vice versa) that should be talked about if it ever becomes relevant. If your friend is easily overwhelmed by a lot of emotion/stimulus, then you shouldn't dump serious emotional things without checking in to see if it's okay first. Over time, in a healthy communicative relationship, you get a feel for what's okay and what's not.

But goodness fucking me when I see folks say that they don't deserve to express their harder emotions because "friends aren't your therapists" I just... I mean woof y'all!

What kind of friend is a friend that doesn't care if you're upset? What kind of friend sees you struggling with something and tells you to deal with your own problems because they don't owe you anything? What kind of friend comes around only if you hide your pain at all times?

A fair-weather friend, that's what kind. A friend that's only around for the good times, and goes away during (metaphorical) storms.

If someone only wants to be a fair-weather friend, that's their prerogative. But I'm telling you all that you deserve the kind of friendship where your friends actually give a fuck about you. You deserve to take up space sometimes. You deserve to get heavy things off your chest with someone you love and trust.

If you want better, stronger, healthier friendships, it's important to understand that intimacy is about Knowing and Seeing and Experiencing someone authentically. Taking off whatever mask we wear to get through the world and being ourselves and sharing that with another person. Anger, pain, grief... tackling these issues with each other builds trust and intimacy and makes everyone involved feel more important & needed & cared about. Isn't that what all this is for?

Anyway, this is all to say: be open about your emotions. Communicate with your friends (& tbh in all your relationships). Learn each other's boundaries, but don't shut each other out just because emotions are scary to navigate at times.

Please be kinder to yourself. Seek intimate friendships, AND seek professional help when you need more support than your friends can provide. Just don't assume your friends can't give you any support! Assume that they love you and trust that they will tell you if they're at their limit. And if they *are* at their limit or if they just aren't comfortable with some conversations, respect that & don't try to force it onto them.

This has been a PSA. Thank you.

[lemotmo]

I don't often do this, because I try to avoid discourse in fandom and sometimes you just don't vibe with a character. It happens.

But I keep seeing these horrible and, quite frankly, very wrong and disrespectful takes on Eddie Diaz' character. And I can't just sit here and ignore them anymore.

I cannot and will never understand why people don't like Eddie.

I've read some posts and comments earlier about people disliking Eddie and... really? Eddie is boring? He doesn't get interesting storylines? He's just a prop for Buck and his storylines?

Are we watching the same show here?

Eddie is, by far, one of the most interesting characters on 911. The man has had one trauma after the other piled up on him, but still he keeps going. Why? Because of the one thing that matters more to him than life itself: Christopher.

As a single mother myself, I can relate. The struggle to want to give your child everything, to do everything for them, even if it comes at the cost of your own mental and emotional well-being? It is very real. I cannot tell you how many times I end up crying to myself at night, blaming myself because I wasn't able to stop the outside world from hurting my son. And you have to do it all by yourself as well. There is no one there to share the burden with, to share the heartache with. It's tough and it's real.

Eddie's storylines are intricate and nuanced and based in reality. They aren't necessarily the biggest and loudest storylines, but they still matter to people who can relate to him. People like me.

Now, 911 is guilty of showing a lot of important Eddie moments from someone else's point of view. That is true. Especially Buck's POV. The shooting comes to mind, even a part of his breakdown and more recently Eddie's friendship with Tommy. He made a bro-friend and seemed so happy and carefree, but since we saw it from Buck's POV, we can't fully trust this image.

So, I think that is why some people see him as just a prop in Buck's story. But it's much more complex than that. Buck stepped inside Eddie's world without complaint. He helped him out from day one by introducing Eddie to Carla. For the first time, Eddie is no longer alone in life. There is someone there who understands him and his love for Chris. He can safely rest and trust that Buck will be there to step in if necessary. He actually went ahead and put it in his will. Eddie loves the way that Buck loves his son. And the show is still using that bond to date. We saw Buck and Eddie in conversation about Chris, Buck talking to Chris, Buck being jealous of Chris thinking Tommy was cool...

I don't know what the future will bring for Eddie, but I desperately want and need him to be happy. And yes, I do think the narrative will eventually lead him to Buck. His happiness has always been intricatelly linked to Christopher. The way they keep weaving in Christopher in Buck's storyline? The way Eddie keeps being inserted in Buck's bisexuality storyline? These are some of the many reasons that give me absolute certainty that Buddie is in the works.

In conclusion? Just stop hating on Eddie Diaz folks. It's not a good look on you.

[fishnapple]

Things you can do to be more confident in yourself.

It's a full moon tonight, our confidence can also wax and wane like the moon. So let it also be full tonight. This reading will assist you in understanding how to build a relationship with yourself based on trust and compassion.

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost

Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

1. Clear quartz

There's something that you should accept. That is, we can never hide from people's eyes and their judgement. Putting ourselves out there for others to see is a brave act. It can sometimes feel like being put under the mercy of others. But daring to show the love we have for ourselves is even a braver act.

Starting from the inside, the root, the part that you feel the most childish and vulnerable inside you, hold it gently and protect it, do little things that make it comfortable and feel loved. Like decorating the place you're living in. Surround your home with beauty and comfort, especially the place where you sleep. A soft pillow for tired and hardened thoughts to rest on.

If you have a desire to be recognised and applauded for your achievement and your individuality. Don't ever feel shame for desiring those. Some people will call that vain, but even the feat of living and existing is worth recognising and celebrating. Be honest with your desires and put in the effort to achieve them. As long as those desires don't harm anyone, there is no reason to deny and feel shame about those.

You seem to have a very creative energy, but that creativity is stifled by the focus on security and practicality. Before you create something, you may consider will this bring you any material merit, will it make a profit, will it have a practical use in your life. In doing so, your creative flow can't flow freely. Who knows, maybe the thing you created might not have a practical use or bring you any material gain, but through the act of creating, you can connect more with your deeper self and discover your inner wealth, not everything has to have a solid, physical and logical meaning, emotional and spiritual meaning are just as important. And by doing that, more opportunities for your growth will be presented to you. So the next time you find yourself wanting to do something that you think or other people think is silly and a waste of time, give yourself a chance to experience first, you can always judge it later.

2. Citrine

I sense that some of you in this group feel stifled in your expression of love and desire. There are pressure and expectations coming in from society and your peers about what is right, what should be done concerning love, relationships and sexuality. Being truly you could mean going against a certain society's standards and expectations. There could be a struggle of whether to conform or to rebel.

Relationships would feel limiting and demanding to you. You would feel like you have to sacrifice your freedom and a part of yourself in order to keep the relationship going smoothly. It's a big compromise.

Every relationship needs compromise but you may not realise that in some communities, some people demand more of that compromise than the others simply because your values are not matching with each other. Maybe you just haven't found your crowd yet.

Community and friendships play a big part in helping you shape your own world view and your sense of self. So you should consider these questions regarding the people you're surrounding or will surround yourself with.

Do they bring a sense of comfort to you?

Do you feel nurtured by them?

Do you have the desire to nurture and comfort them?

What can you learn from each other?

Do you feel joy when talking with each other?

Do you truly want each other to move forward?

Can you imagine them being in your life in your future and vice versa, you in theirs?

If you can answer these kinds of questions with a positive answer then naturally the pressure will feel less pressuring, the demands will feel less demanding. Instead acceptance and freedom will be more present.

Another thing that can help you build more trust and confidence in yourself is learning. Learning more about life and yourself. Maybe the stifling and suffocating feeling, the anxiety, comes from the lack of space in your inner self. If our space is small, it's just a matter of time before the place is cramped, everything is pressed against each other. Learning helps expand your capacity to hold enough space for each experience and thought, feeling and a little spare space to reach out to the future.

3. Rose quartz

Usually, when I see a specific formation or combination of crystals together, I interpret them as a message to expand your life, go out into the world, be brave, express yourself, etc. When I first saw your group's layout, I also interpreted it like that. But on a closer look, the message was the opposite.

Sometimes we don't have to do any grand gestures or make some big changes, achieve something significant to feel more confident in ourselves. It's the small actions in our everyday life, those little wishes and small joys, the peaceful feeling when we're home that can ground us the most.

With this group, the messages for you would be to leave out those big dreams, those spinning thoughts and those faraway ideals for a moment, and just focus on the mundane, daily life in front of you.

If you have the tendency to stay in your head for too long or to imagine and dream about the what-ifs, then there's something you can do to ground yourself more, to anchor yourself.

There's an emphasis on the small acts, careful and slow, little by little. 

Organising and doing something repetitive can actually help you to build a more concrete result. If you want to do something new or something that you're not sure of your capability. Start practicing in small steps and routinely. If you have a vision and that vision may look too faraway, be in a myopic mode, look at what's in front of you and what you can do with them first, but not forgetting the vision of course, just let them take the back seat for a while.Break down steps that you find too big to leap. In the process, you will find that many things are doable right away and that can help you feel more confident in yourself.

You don't have to show yourself in the process. Being visible to other people can be considered brave and confident, but sometimes it can be a careless act onto ourselves. We open ourselves to the judgment and influences of other people while not fully aware that some part of ours just prefers to stay hidden, in a quiet, peaceful place to do its own things. Like a production chain, having people visiting can have a positive effect of gaining encouragement and understanding, but too many people and too often can obstruct the production, unknowingly bringing in hidden trouble factors. A place like that should best be left to the operators and the professionals that know it best, and they are you.

4. Flourite

I believe that there are some messages that are meant to be delivered to people, by you. Something that you can do for other people. In a way, doing things for other people, helping them can actually help you ground yourself more.

Maybe you have reached a certain degree of being comfortable with yourself, knowing how to take care of yourself. But I sense a protective feeling, like self-protection, but a little too much, sometimes to the point of building a wall surrounding yourself. That could make it hard to open yourself up and be more vulnerable when dealing with others. You have your peace, you don't want other people or outside factors to come in and disturb it. But this could create isolation and the feeling of being apart from everyone else.

The inside has been well taken care of, maybe it's time to step outside and help others too. To nurture your relationships with the same love that you have for yourself. To share your experiences and knowledge. You could be a strong pillar for others to look up to. Even when you think your foundation is shaking. What you can do is to look forward, there's always something that you can share and bring into this world and one way or another, it will help somebody, even without your awareness.

I think some people could find you a little intimidating or hard to get close to. But with closer interaction, they can learn a lot from you.

There could be some anger or unspoken thoughts hidden inside you that are fighting to be out. They can create hurtful words that are hurled at other people and yourself.

Being able to face those calmly and channelling them through a healthy route, like writing in a journal, for example, will bring you more awareness and resilience, in turn, helping you to be more sure and stable in yourself. 

[nadinediary]

The 7 Dating Bare Minimums from 𝒩adine

1. Shared Values + Belief

Values are prioritised characteristics that build who we are as individuals and our belief is what forms our world view and lifestyle. I find it easier to build a relationship with someone when your values and beliefs align. I cannot envision a relationship or even casually date someone who I can't see eye-to-eye on the core attributes that form my life and character.

I can understand being lenient on religious and political beliefs when casually dating although for long term relationships, I need to be on the same topic about religion, politics, children, cheating, etc.

2. Romantic (Considerate)

I personally can not be in a relationship or date a person who can’t exhibit romance. Romance to myself isn’t the flowers (not saying I don’t adore flowers), or the chivalrous actions shown in the rom-coms.

Romance is the small intimate actions that show you’ve been paying close attention to your loved one wants and needs. It’s the considerate small things that may take a little more time but are worth it.

3. Chivalrous

Talking about chivary, don’t get it confused, I love a chivalrous man. The door opening, pulling the seat out, making sure I’ve gotten home safe, I’m quite old fashion when it comes to dating. I love it all.

I find it charming when someone is chivalrous to everyone not just when it pertains to myself. If they see someone needing help and step in, I think that's a great trait to have. I don't want someone who just does things out of attraction but rather because of kindness.

4. Well groomed

Personally a man is most attractive when they are well groomed, actively upkeep themselves and pay great attention to their hygiene. This idea that only women get manicures and pedicures is ridiculous. I know plenty of men that like keeping their cuticle healthy.

Every man that has had the honor of taking me on a date or more, has had a skincare routine (even if it's just a three step routine). They’ve all had beautiful nails and I could tell they cared about cleanliness.

5. Adaptable + Resilient

I‘m a first-generation immigrant who has seen poverty and wealth, I’ve gone from living in the scums of rural Nirobei to the upper class Australian suburban area. This is all because of God’s blessing and my family’s resilience.

I need a partner who is both resilient and adaptable when in situations less than ideal. I’m a strong minded individual and hope the same for my partner.

6. Communicative

We’ve all heard about the importance of communication in relationships but not all communication is healthy.

It's important for your partner to be open to hearing you, a lot of people lack listening skills so it's precious when you find someone who really listens and respects you. Trauma can cause people to close up but there are many different ways to communicate from written to spoken, as long as my partner shows they are communicative I don't care.

7. Generous

I come from a generous family, I’m surrounded by generous people and I myself am always ready to give if someone needs. I could not envision any relationship, friendship or romantic relationship with someone who wasn’t as giving.

Generosity isn’t neglecting yourself for other, it's lifting each other up, know when to say no while being kind to others situations. I don't want a pushover, I want a generous partner.

Sincerely,

𝒩adine.

[astrologylunadream]

Your Next Long-term Friendship🍒💄♥️ (Pick a card/Tarot reading)

Hey it's Lunadream~ we're going to learn all about your next long lasting/healthy friendship!💋 Who is your future bestie?🥰 hope you find your message~

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Also thank you all for the love and support on my readings!!❤ You are all such gifts.💋🤗

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the you and your future bestie, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~📮🍬♥️

Pile 1🍓

Pile 2🍬

Pile 3🍒

Pile 4🍫

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 😍💄♥️

Pile 1🍓

Sign energy: Knowledge, Health, Audience, Seduction, Conquer, 7th house, Mercury, Air, 11th house, Pluto, 🚫🥳🔮☀️

💄Your energy: I am sensing very venusian, feminine vibes for you guys💕 Very charming and beautiful, like I feel like you can gain anyone's trust with just the way you speak. You're sociable in a soft and seductive way, people fall for the way your mind works and the way you word things.💬🥰 So sweet and captivating aura for this pile. Noticable placements are air dominants, Libra, Gemini and Aquarius placements. Pluto/Scorpio is also apparent! Of course those are just some of the main energies I'm getting, take what resonates <3 You guys are just so attractive mentally especially, Also you may have put a stop to romantic relationships for your health sake or at least tried to shift focus away from giving so much energy into those types of connections. You are very aware and knowledgable of the world around you, mostly through sources of the internet.🔍 There is definitely a soft vibe to my pile 1's💘 Also your mind and intelligence is your superpower, you may have a lot of followers online/or have many connections with people that way. I'm getting extrovert vibes but not necessarily have to be, you may just have a lot of people who like you. Some of you are health conscious, or trying to focus on self care.💅💄🤗

♥️Your next long term friendship: Read, Relaxed, Reserved, Cinderella, Rose, North node, Leo, Scorpio, 9th house, 3rd house, 😫✂️🍭🥱 Ohhh interesting my pile 1's your next bestie will be very kind and understanding of you, I'm getting older sibling vibes from them🥺❤ Like they will be totally there for you, and a good listener I'm hearing. Something is telling me they read books, and may enjoy writing stories. Placements for them may be Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, and Gemini so look out for those!!😊 Omg you guys your friend is going to compliment you so well, it's honestly adorable😭😭 Like you two are somewhat different but go together like salt and pepper🧂🖤 Really cute, they are more of an introvert loner type, but like super chill and just vibing. I feel like they were really lonely until they met you🥺 You two may enjoy watching disney movies together😍❤ I feel like they will help keep you down to earth and end toxic cycles or relationships that aren't good for you.🥺 Ahhh they are just so there for you, they could have the name Rose or a flower related name. Omg your friend may become a successful writer in the future. Lol I feel like your bestie will come into your life as sort of a "prince charming" but in a best friend way, giving you the best advice and preventing you from letting yourself get hurt or disappointed⚔✊ Even though they aren't very social and more so closed off, they are so sweet to you omg.🙊♥️

📮Extra cards: Over, Chiron, Entertainment, Business, Anger (They may get very defensive if you get hurt or sad, I feel like they will be the first to tell somebody off that broke your heart or offended you. True bestie vibes👌🥰

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the strawberry emoji~🍓 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💋

Pile 2🍬

Sign energy: Honest, Honey, Secret admirer, Us, Trouble, North node, Chiron, 7th house, Moon, Leo,🗒🥰🏎🚨

💄Your energy: Okay so you guys are going through a lot🤯 We have prominent Libra, Cancer and Leo for this pile's chart. Some of you are searching for a way to heal from past experiences, you may not be addressing it directly or trying to shift focus from your problems. You guys are healing from something, likely a romantic connection or situation. You could be in a one sided relationship or there are blockages in your love life, whatever the case there is some tension with romance for you guys. You may be keeping secrets or hiding your feelings, you just want someone to talk about it with. I think you need to be sweeter to yourself, and think highly of yourself too.❤ My pile 2's have gone through a lot, I heard you have trouble sharing your emotions a lot. But you will be healing so fast and in no time you will be unstoppable✊🤗 Also your emotions make you very attractive and you may have secret admirers due to your kind and true feelings. Some of you may write in your diary often, or write down affirmations for your future or goals. I'm hearing you are very sweet and genuine my pile 2's🤧💕 You want to be understood and cared for, and omg you are so soft and beautiful I just want to give you a hug!!

♥️Your next long-term friendship: Important, Capricorn, Teddy bear, Power, Tease, Chiron, South node, 6th house, Uranus, 10th house, 🌇🌅🧍‍♂️😁 Okay so it is highly likely your next long term friendship has more assertive qualities, omg they will want to take care of you and help you. Heavy Capricorn influence on their chart, also look out for Virgo and Aquarius placements. Saturnian vibes. They are very stable and strong, I think they are more dominant with you like taking your problems into their own hands or teasing you slightly. You may meet them through online or business of some sort, they can seem cheeky at first until you see how attentive they are to you.☺ They will most likely hug you a lot or more often, because they see your emotional needs and want to care for you.🥺♥️ They themselves are rather less expressive and they seem like they aren't as needy for emotional comfort, but deep down they too are healing and have past experiences they feel hurt by.😭🏚 Probably why they want to comfort and care for you because they wanted that themselves, your next friend may be successful in business. For some of you this friend will be a masculine. They may act as a sort of "husband" archetype but in a friend sense, like providing support and help to you and all. Their body language is very commanding, they could live in the city or do business there soon. Also I just got virgo rising vibes. They will get your life together for you, opening doors and huge opportunities. What a helpful and supportive friend they will be.😊 They'll want to help you through everything, it will be a very stable and healthy friendship.♥️👏

Extra cards: Safe, Allow, Be yourself, Lies, Kitty (Your friend want you to feel able to be you and be happy, and let you feel safe and good about yourself☀️)

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the candy emoji~🍬 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💋

Pile 3🍒

Sign energy: Salty, Memories, Right, Couple, Impulsive, Lilith, 2nd house, 10th house, 1st house, Jupiter,💎♓🔦👄

💄Your energy: Ah we have some bad b*ch vibes here in this pile, so powerful and seductive.😘 You want that ride or die best friend, to have real fun with🚀🎉 Taurus, Capricorn, Aries, Sagittarius and Pisces energy is prominent. Your lips are your very attractive feature, also you have this hot look that draws others in.🧲 You may be bitter about something like old memories or an ex that gets you mad, something you remember that makes you salty.😡 Some of you were the type to date really early in life or have many breakups, but now you are very powerful and on the right track🏆 You guys are so ambitious and stunning, you are owning your bad side😈 Your voice mesmerizes all your admirers and you speak power, total hotties.🔥 Physically gorgeous, mentally too. I just heard people get addicted to your voice, like they can't let it go. Everyone has this fatal attraction to you, the spotlight is on you my pile 3's💋 You don't take no for an answer, direct approach to what you want. If anyone in this pile is going through heartbresk or break up just know you don't need them like you are high demand they don't deserve you.👑 You are a diamond, one of a kind and they know it too. My pile 3's have this look in theirs eyes that is so alluring and captivating.💫

♥️Your next long-term friendship: Eternity, Long, Push, Shame, Image, Fire, Sun, 7th house, Neptune, 11th house, 📸🐭😩😑 So your bestie is going to be in your life for a while I'm hearing, very long lasting connection to confirm! Look out for Leo, Libra, Pisces, and Aquarius energies. You guys will take selfies together and share photos with eachother, giggling about it and I also feel like you two will roast people for fun.😂 You may even tease eachother or act like enemies as an inside joke. You two will be very playful with one another, like lifetime close friends. Your friend may be against the idea of you getting into a romantic relationship or commitment because then you will be just as close with that person.🥺❤ They are a little clingy, but only because they will feel like you guys are inseparable <3 It may be a long time before either of you get a romantic relationship of your own, like you two may both stay single for a while and just own your single power together👑💫 They will push you to do things you haven't tried before and vice versa, they want to be friends with you forever I'm hearing omg😢💞 You two get to be weird together, and your humor combined is 10/10. I feel like people may shame you two for whatever reason, like paint a picture of you guys being bad or a chaotic duo but that's only because they are jealous of a friendship like yours😌🔥🌈

Extra cards: Lies, Psycho, Loose, Matchmaker, Flower (Aww no I'm getting that many others will insist your bestie is a bad influence on you, like they're untamed or too wild. Like people won't like you guys spontaneous nature together because they will call it mischievous or crazy🥺 Your friend will stick with you through it all though, no matter what people say about the two of you. Omg like ride or die❤🎆

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the cherry emoji~🍒 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💋

Pile 4🍫

Sign energy: Father, Self love, Odd, Past, Perfect, Virgo, Water, Venus,💛👢🖇🍫

💄Your energy: Okayy so for my pile 4's this is a very preppy, feminine energy. I am getting vintage vibes~🖤 Prominent energies are Virgo, Taurus and Libra as well as water placements. You may hold on to the past even uncommon things that not many people remember, you have a vivid memory. You may be really into shoes, or rare clothing (Like things you don't see people wear often). My pile 4's have high standards, it can be for anything from clothes to romantic partners. You may think very highly of yourself or at least acknowledge your beauty, because after all you are very beautiful😌♥️ Some of you have a specific relationship with your father, either inspired or disappointed by him. You think a lot, but I feel like you put too much pressure on yourself. Accept that you are perfect in your own way, I think you already know that💓 You guys are so sweet, also chocolate may be your favorite sweet treat.🍫 Such a delicate feminine aura, very pretty and well kept. You may have a strange hobby or interests, many people perceive you as being different (most likely in a good way☀️) and the color yellow may be significant to you. This pile is just so polished and gorgeous oml😩♥️💞

♥️Your next long-term friendship: Psycho, Leader, Door, Tsundere, Nostalgia, Venus, Chiron, South node, Mercury, Saturn,☀️🟦🌋💬 Omg my pile 4's this is so interesting idk where to start!! They will be very bold and take the initiative, this could be a coping mechanism to act tough when they are actually not that way. You may have met this person in the past, or they bring back many memories to you.⏳ Your friend could be a little older than you, or have that vibe about them. Feminine energies are also present, It is possible for them to have Venus-Sun aspects. Libra, Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Capricorn and Aquarius are all prominent placements to remember. This could be an existing connection that was closed off or seemed distant, for a small amount of you I'm getting that this is someone who didn't like you at first or vice versa, but then becomes close to you. They may have acted cold on purpose out of fear of getting close to someone⛈💔 They talk a lot, but they may accidentally say harsh things out of habit🥺 They can have bursts of anger centered from their past, they may have been hurt by other's words.😭😭 Blue is a color for them, they may wear that as their comfort color. They will definitely hide their intnese emotions from you, shutting them out so you don't feel burdened. Also I feel like when you two become friends they will be strangely worried about preserving your beauty?? Keeping you covered up or saying you should wear less revealing outfits😂😂 I think it comes from a place of protecting you, they don't want you to get used or tricked by others I'm hearing.♥️ They will care about you a lot more than you will know🥺💞

Extra cards: Pisces, Ankles, Fishing, Yellow, Passion

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the chocolate emoji~🍫 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💋

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

[rebo-chan]

I've been thinking about KHR's bonds. (When am I not?) And I've thought about the way that Amano likes to write bonds. You'd be pressed in this fandom to find people who don't care about at least one area of it whether that's the Vongola kids, Varia, the Arcobaleno, Kokuyo, etc. After a conversation with my best friend, I realized it's kinda interesting how Amano has somehow successfully created so many realistic bonds for such a diverse cast. Like we see so little of them, but you'd be pressed to convince the KHR fans that the funeral wreaths don't adore Byakuran.

So there's the thing right? Katekyo hitman reborn is the shonen that is 100% about the power of friendship. Like yes other shounens use it and its a meme for a reason, but they also have other stuff going on. Other motivations. Other theming. Meanwhile Tsuna growing up and becoming a better person for his friends /is/ the theme of Reborn. That is the entire motivation for the series. There's no grandiose scheme where Tsuna will save the Mafia world and be the chosen one, though the series tries to put Tsuna in this position to his chagrin.

As evidenced by the scene in Future arc, where Tsuna is unable to light his ring because he is so stressed about sending everyone back to the future and fighting this unknown powerful enemy. And so Reborn walks up and tells him "You're not a hero. Stop trying to be. It's not like you. What were you thinking about when you first lit your flame?" And he responded with "I just..wanted to protect Kyoko." Reborn satisfied with that answer then asks, "And who do you want to protect now?" And Tsuna answers with "Everyone." And then his ring lit up. That's the core to the series!! Right there!! All it ever was 403 chapters worth of these characters just wanting to protect each other.

So, in talking to my best friend, he pointed out that outside of daily life arc, these characters don't really have moments of vulnerability towards each other. Frankly, it seems the cast of KHR is allergic to being vulnerable. There aren't that many scenes of "you guys are important to me. I love you guys." Y'know stuff that tells the audience yeah these guys are close. And when Tsuna TRIES to have these moments, like with Reborn, Reborn pretends like he's asleep and doesn't hear Tsuna say that he's going to save him. Yet somehow, we all understand that these characters love each other so deeply.

And that made me realize it's all in the dialogue and actions, rather than inherent bonding moments. It's Reborn clenching his fist when Tsuna is getting gravely injured by Daemon. It's Yamamoto and Gokudera having a fight about Gokudera not being worthy of being Tsunas right hand man as Gokudera doesn't care for the other members of their family. And Gokudera never addressing this again, there's no verbal indication that Gokudera even heard Yamamotos criticism. Yet later during Merone invasion, Gokudera reaches a hand out to catch Yamamoto when they're getting separated. And later, he protects Ryoheis unconscious body as he is fighting Gamma to the death. It's Byakuran saving the funeral wreaths from their miserable lives and them protecting him even when he begins to strike them down. It's the way Mukuro runs to assist Chrome when she is in danger, or swears up and down that he is not allied with Tsuna but also feeds the Vongola information about Byakuran. It's the way Squalo refuses to cut his hair for his vow to Xanxus, or Mammon's gratitude towards Xanxus's willingness to fight for them. It's Ken ensuring that Chrome is always fed by giving her the snacks and candy they bought. These characters don't need bonding moments, their love for each other shines through their every breath and finger twitch.

And I think that's a fascinating way to write a connection on Amanos behalf. And it was done so well we can't even argue that these characters all love each other.

The way I summarized it is most characters love each other because they spend time together and improve together. KHR characters spend time together and get better together because they love each other

Anyway that's it for this one. Please let me know any dialogue/actions that drive you guys mad about these characters 👀 I know this series is full of them.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

have you ever thought of me that way?

did that kiss mean anything to you?

is this a date?

friends don't look at each other like we do.

i never realized i could love someone this much.

i've been meaning to tell you for years.

how long have you loved me?

you'll never know a single day without me by your side.

maybe we could go together instead. as a couple.

they always said we'd probably get married someday.

nothing has changed. you're still my best friend.

i'm glad we grew into what we are today.

i guess i never realized how beautiful you are.

you've always been there for me, no matter what.

they're all going to freak out when they realize we're finally together.

it was always you, you know. i just didn't realize it.

i think i've been in love with you for years.

ever since we were kids, we were inseparable. especially now.

i didn't understand it back then, but now i realize you were always the one for me.

you're my best friend. that's never going to change, no matter what happens between us.

the last thing i want is to hurt you.

i don't think we're "just friends" anymore.

maybe we could... try? try to be something more than this?

i don't want to lose our friendship, no matter what. that has to stay the same through this.

i've always cared about you. and i think in a way, i've always loved you, too.

it's been difficult to see you date other people along the way.

wish i'd told you how i felt sooner.

what do you think about... us?

should we hold hands?

why are you looking at me like that?

you've been my best friend for years now. that will never change.

do you remember when i kissed you?

maybe we were always meant to be together in some way.

you've always been the most important person in my life.

maybe we could... you know. see what happens between us. take this further.

could you ever see me in that way? like a lover?

this is a little awkward. i'm not sure what to do here.

when did you start feeling this way about me?

you just mean so much to me. i don't want to ruin our friendship.

when you held my hand... everything changed.

i stopped seeing you as just a friend and started seeing you as something more.

it broke me to see you kiss them.

i couldn't stand it when you loved other people.

we were inseparable back then. we can be inseparable now.

i made a promise to you when we were kids. and i'm keeping that promise.

this is where you kissed me.

can i hold your hand?

you don't have a date, and i don't have a date... so let's go together.

it feels like i'm looking at you with new eyes.

i didn't realize you were so beautiful.

you mean the world to me, you know.

i don't ever want to know a world without you.

maybe we could go as a couple. not just as friends.

if i asked you on a date sometime... would you say yes, or would you laugh in my face?

could you ever see me as something more than your best friend?

i do think of you. all the time.

i didn't really realize what you meant to me until i nearly lost you.

so... friends? or something more than friends?

whatever happens, you won't leave me, right?

we will never be apart. not ever.

how long have you felt like this?

[andy-15-07]

Can you do a fic where Y/n and Drew have to do an intimate scene, and she is stressed about this and Drew calms her down, friends to lovers.😘😘

Stage of Love

Paring(s): Drew Starkey x reader

masterlist / Outer Banks Masterlist

The set buzzed with energy as Y/n and Drew prepared for their upcoming scene. They had been friends for years, but today marked a new chapter in their relationship as they were about to film their first intimate scene together. Y/n couldn't help but feel a knot of nerves tightening in her stomach as she went over the script one last time.

"Drew, I'm really nervous about this," she admitted, her voice trembling slightly.

Drew turned to her, his eyes filled with understanding. "Hey, it's okay to be nervous. But trust me, we've got this. We're professionals."

Y/n forced a smile, grateful for Drew's calming presence. "I know, it's just... it feels different with you. I don't want things to be awkward between us."

Drew reached out and took her hand in his, his touch sending a shiver down her spine. "Y/n, look at me," he said softly, his gaze locking with hers. "We've known each other for years. We trust each other. We can get through this together, okay?"

Y/n felt a wave of reassurance wash over her as she looked into Drew's warm brown eyes. He was right – they had been through so much together, and she trusted him more than anyone else in the world.

"Okay," she said, squeezing his hand tightly. "Let's do this."

As they stepped onto the set, Y/n felt a surge of adrenaline coursing through her veins. This was it – the moment they had been preparing for. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart as they began to rehearse their lines.

But as they started to act out the scene, Y/n couldn't help but feel self-conscious. She was acutely aware of Drew's presence beside her, his body inches away from hers. Every touch, every word felt like it was magnified a thousand times over.

"Drew, I'm sorry, I just can't do this," she whispered, her voice barely above a whisper.

Drew turned to her, concern etched on his face. "What's wrong, Y/n? Are you okay?"

Y/n shook her head, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm just so nervous. I don't know if I can go through with this."

Drew reached out and gently brushed away her tears, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through her body. "Hey, it's okay. We don't have to do this if you're not comfortable. Your well-being is more important than any scene."

Y/n felt a rush of gratitude towards Drew, his words washing away her fears like a gentle tide. She knew that she could always count on him to be there for her, no matter what.

"Thank you," she whispered, leaning into his touch. "I don't know what I would do without you."

Drew smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "You'll never have to find out. We're in this together, remember?"

And with Drew by her side, Y/n knew that she could conquer anything – even the most daunting of scenes. As they prepared to try again, she felt a newfound sense of confidence coursing through her veins.

Together, they would create magic onscreen, their friendship blossoming into something more beautiful than they could have ever imagined. And as they lost themselves in the world of make-believe, Y/n couldn't help but feel grateful for the love and support of her dear friend, Drew.

[wordsinhaled]

hi there! I started following you after seeing your essay-long answers to DBD things in tags, and it made me very happy to see someone as deeply analytical as me about this show.

I wanted to ask you: if you were given the final say, how would you want the show to confirm both Charles' bisexuality and his romantic feelings towards Edwin (as both can be done at different points)?

Personally, I can't get the idea out of my head that it will be done with some kind of tragic goodbye, somehow Charles and Edwin have to separate, and Charles either verbally confirms it or kisses Edwin goodbye. Not saying that's what I want, but it's what I expect the writers to do.

Hope you're having a good day.

btw, would love to hear you talk more about timerogue (Fifteen/Rogue), I need more essay-long analysis about those two.

Hi there! <3 I am so happy you have enjoyed my tag rambles! And thank you so much for asking this great question, I had a lot of fun thinking through it!

I have many thoughts on this! Sticking them under a cut eventually because it is a long post!

Re: Charles' bisexuality: So the thing is I think that the DBDA universe generally seems to eschew labels in favor of showing rather than telling the audience what the characters' identities are. For example Jenny is interested in dating women, which is clear from her dialogue, and she goes on a date with Maxine, but she's never labeled anything. Edwin is never labeled anything by anyone in the narrative, either, but the narrative shows us that his only love interests and his desires and romantic feelings are for other boys. I would argue that we have been shown textually that Charles is bi, already, the same way the show shows-not-tells us other things. Charles by the end of the first season feels bi enough to me in a way that just feels like someone... living a bi life, and not yet realizing they might in fact be in love back with their best friend. I don't know how else to put it but I hope that makes sense. (My alternate, slightly sappier version of canon is that Charles fell for Edwin the first night, but has shoved it down for the duration of their friendship, but the former feels more likely as the direction I think we see on screen.) We are being told Charles is bi:

In the way Charles himself draws parallels between why he likes Crystal (his romantic love interest) and Edwin, pointing out they share the exact same traits

In the way he gives Crystal and Edwin the same genre of deep, loving gaze

In the way he thinks Crystal is fit, and he checks Edwin out, on multiple occasions, but only flirts with Edwin overtly in episode 8 ("My smile is pretty convincing," plus more than the usual amount of physical touch/proximity and less plausible deniability) once he can be assured by Edwin's recent confession that doing so will not be poorly received

In the different kinds of softness and masculinity he displays around both Crystal and Edwin

In the way that, despite not knowing the ending, he draws a parallel between himself and Edwin & a pair of lovers from classical mythology as though it is the most natural thing in the world to bring up the story of Orpheus & Eurydice, making overt the romantic potential of his relationship with Edwin

In the way he is so quick to write off that the two jocks were "just best mates" the way a person does when they are recognizing their own queerness in themselves and have to keep themselves safe from it, because of the environment that they are in (Charles being the Sports Lad, needing to fit in with other sports lads, and needing to avoid the censure/violence of his father)

And coming off the above, in the way that Charles navigates along the toughness-sensitivity spectrum within the social constructs of being "the brawn"

In the entire sparring scene in episode 1, tbh. The rituals are very intricate /drops mic

I understand the importance that's been placed by fandom spaces on "confirmed canon" queerness that is spelled out in so many words, given a label that can be pointed to to say "This character is definitely this!" but I think (and this is just my personal opinion) it can be reductive sometimes, and I don't really want Charles to label himself in that kind of way, just as much as I don't think the other characters needed the labels to "confirm" the queerness of their relationships or indeed of the show; having him be the one to do it for being bi would set him apart. I also think taking into account the time period that he grew up in, Charles would care more about living by the truth of how he feels and how he can use those feelings to connect with the one he loves, than what to call it. I just don't think we're gonna get like a "Hello my name is Charles Rowland and I am a verified bisexual"-type scene in season 2, and I think that's okay, and I don't really think that's the way for the show to 'confirm' it. Mind you I would love to see Charles talk about how it makes him feel to realize his feelings, and how his feelings for Edwin are different compared to how other people make him feel, because god, I love Charles so much and I just know such a scene would both destroy and heal me. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS, CHARLES <3

I think it says something really important that many, many, many people took one look at Charles Rowland and said: "Oh, he's bi." Not like... he has bi energy, or could plausibly be bi, or whatever; for so many people he just resonated as being bi, in a very organic way. (I know there are people who do read Charles as being straight/having rejected Edwin in s1, and I respect that, but they probably will not like my ideas about Charles very much, then, tbh.)

For what it's worth, though, Jayden's acting choices playing Charles, and the way Jayden (and George) have addressed the 'straight best friend Charles' line of questioning during interviews, both make it seem to me that Jayden is intentionally playing Charles as bi and we are already supposed to understand this for what it is, based on Charles' actions—just as we understand similar things about other characters inner worlds we are shown. Whether Charles is consciously aware of it yet is more the up-for-debate part to me, personally. It's like he is dancing right on the edge of the revelation, or something, but his actions (and his EYES) are speaking for him pretty loudly already.

As for how he confirms it more obviously? Hmm. Well, I'll admit i think a kiss between them would be lovely, if only because I think it would quite possibly be the Most Kiss a kiss could be, with all of Charles' tenderness and adoration for Edwin poured into it. I also think it would be in-character, given Charles canonically misses kissing, and wants to do it with people he's interested in romantically (see Crystal).

Charles struggles with being able to admit romantic feelings out loud because he is scared of his own capacity to hurt Edwin; after all the only example of "romantic" love he has seen was his parents' marriage. Charles is a person who acts first, thinks later, but in this process of understanding what he feels for Edwin he's taking his time and being the opposite of impulsive. This shows how important his relationship to Edwin is to him and his commitment to Getting It Right. Even with that deliberateness, though, I think it would still be easier for him to express himself through a tangible action like a kiss than through words—at least at first.

It reminds me of this scene from the first draft of Maurice between Maurice and Alec. Alec is struggling to verbalize his feelings for Maurice, although he does know he feels them. He can say other things, but naming love for what it is is the challenge; and in the end they use a shared memory of a time Alec showed his love through actions (running through the rosebushes just to see Maurice's face) to communicate and mutually understand their love for each other. Similarly, Charles finds it difficult to admit a deep romantic love aloud, but his actions speak louder, in his determination to retrieve Edwin from hell ("There's no one else—no one else—I would go to hell for") and he can allude to the romantic implications of the act, by referencing the Orpheus & Eurydice myth. It similarly becomes, I may not be able to say the words, but you and I both know the lengths i would go to for you.

Maurice : "I love you, sir be damned." Alec: "Maurice"—never before had the word been spoken—"you're an angel." Maurice: "I don't want to hear that." Alec: "Maurice, Maurice" his voice failed also; he had once said the rest to a woman. "Maurice - what you've said I feel. Understand?" M: "I think so, but I want to be sure. Remember those rose bushes in the other rain? - Look at me hard - That's right. That'll do. It's settled."

As far as the catalyst for Charles revealing his feelings... a tragic goodbye—gosh, as heartbreakingly compelling as I know seeing George and Jayden act that out would be (I know they would crush it), I really hope the writers don't do that to them! The thing about Payneland that is so refreshing to me is how they manage to subvert trope expectations and break out of the tragic narratives they are placed in, and I think they would ultimately defy any attempt at separation. As Edwin says, "I will make sure that doesn't happen," about them ever being split up. I am rooting for a happily ever after for them, because they have both been through enough, and have fought tooth and nail to stay together.

Steve Yockey has mentioned potentially having Desire of the Endless cameo on the show and I also think having them and Charles interact would be a fascinating way to bring to light some of the deep-rooted stuff Charles struggles with around love (and would nicely parallel Edwin's experience with the Cat King which catalyzed his Charles-feelings realization). I also like the idea of the team maybe meeting a couple during a case who parallel Edwin and Charles and are romantically involved. Seeing that would allow Charles to externalize the way he feels for Edwin by seeing it reflected back to him by other people; sometimes things are easier to pick up on in others than in ourselves. I think that would be a fun way to get him to see what's been there under the surface for some time :)

Oh my god this got so long asfhlgkjhg SORRY

(I'm sure the Doccy Who fixation will come back in time for the Christmas special! :D)

[gwenfr]

I just made myself sad thinking that maybe everybody in the show thinks Tommy is cool because of his numerous hobbies but in reality for him it's just a means to fight the loneliness 😔

Tommy has the time to have so many hobbies, because he doesn't have a family or close friends to spend his free time with...

We don't see other characters have so many hobbies and they all have a family to take care of or friends to spend time with.

In just a few episodes, we learnt and personally saw that Tommy has a lot of hobbies (flying, martial arts, basketball, movies, cars, trivia etc...) and doesn't have a close "family" (either be a blood family or a work family, he said it himself), maybe he make sure to have his free time occupied to not feel the loneliness in his mind and in his home...

He apparently sees family and friends as really important, he said it himself twice that he wished he had such close coworkers/friends/family, and he also just prove it in just the few episodes of season 7 where we saw him risk his life for coworkers he didn't talk with that much anymore, spending time and sharing hobbies with a man he just met (Eddie), going to the apartment of Buck, a man he barely knew just to see if he was okay, coming straight up after a big fire to be here for his boyfriend but also his friend's wedding etc...

We say that Eddie looked so happy to have a new friend but Tommy was too for sure, his smile and body language when Eddie arrives at harbor or when he is with him at the basketball court says it all.

We can even think back to years ago when Tommy wanted to be accepted in the "boys club" by Gerrard and Sal etc... Maybe he wanted to not feel excluded because of his sexual orientation but surely he also wanted to just have friends and finally have a real connection with someone, something he didn't have with his real family and apparently not with the army too. But then he must have finally have that with chimney and hen but not with his new coworker at harbor. Not that he don't like them but sometimes you need more, and like he said he wanted a family like the 118 is. So maybe after leaving the 118, and not being as much close to chimney and hen than he was, and not feeling a family bond with harbor, he began some new hobbies to fill the lack of a social life...

And maybe that's why, during him and Buck conversation before their first kiss, he looked a little surprised when Buck said he found him so cool and that he wanted the harbor tour just to get to know him and was surprised when Buck admit to trying to get his attention. Maybe it's because he began to wonder if Buck wanted more than friendship but I also think that the look in Tommy eyes makes him look sad at first (and I know it's maybe just a Lou thing) so maybe it's also because he doesn't understand Buck... Why would this man soooo surrounded by love, the most important thing in the world for Tommy, think having hobbies is that important ? For Tommy having hobbies is just a means to not feel the loneliness and not something he does to be cool or get other people's attention.

It's also something that differentiates him from Buck. Buck clearly loves to know things and will learn from books and the internet but never actively practice any related activities (at least not that I can remember, tell me if I'm wrong) because he doesn't have time to, his free time mostly being taken by spending it with his sister and brother in law, his niece, his close friends, Eddie and Christopher etc...

But now that Tommy and Buck are together, they can complement each other and Buck already had to spend time enjoying some new hobbies with Tommy like muay Thai and flying and Tommy isn't lonely anymore so he can enjoy more of his free time with the friends and family he wished for.

Tommy's hobbies are still a means to fight the loneliness but not in a way to keep his mind out of it but in a way to just spend time with his loved ones.

(I don't know maybe it's a reach ?...)

[narizaki]

spring's  in  your  blood  ―  h. shoyo

tags   4+1,   gn!reader,   very light angst i think?,   fluff

notes   the four seasons that pass in shoyo's absence and the one that doesn't,   wc 2.4k,   this has been rotting in my drafts for like 3 weeks

spring 2016

spring represents many things.

come the new season, spring marks the end of winter. it greets you with blooming flowers and budding trees and animals awakening from their slumber. it rewards you for surviving the desolate season just a month before; the one that was full of powdery snow and gray clouds and the seemingly bottomless pit in your gut. 

it signifies the beginning of many things. like the new school year, where you meet dozens of new people and get lost in the hallways and try to keep up with your work. or a new job, where you (once again) have to acclimatize to a new environment in addition to the endless list of demands. 

spring symbolizes hope — the birth of something new and shiny and ready for taking. 

what people forget, though, is that loss waits for no one. it comes when it wants to; all at once or one at a time, until you’re so full of it that you’re not sure what to do anymore. it forces you to curl into a ball at the end of your bed, your breath the only thing keeping you warm.

you lost many things during spring. 

your youth, for one. graduations are meant to be happy ceremonies — celebrating the student for their years of hard work, and wishing them good luck in their future endeavors. 

to you, graduation was only a bitter reminder that you and your friends were going separate ways. that you were growing up.

the loss of your relationships followed your youth. even if the majority of your friends weren’t moving far, if at all, there was a mutual understanding that your relationships would drift. it was only natural — balancing friendships with work and school became tiring after a while. when you had sulked over the change of pace, tsukishima had called you stupid and dramatic. 

but when you both stood next to each other in the chill of the airport, you knew he understood. 

hinata shoyo was someone important to both of you, even if the blonde would rather die than agree. that’s okay — you’d rather have shoyo to yourself.

spring is when you lost shoyo. when he flew across the world to pursue his dreams and to get better so he could continue doing something he loved. you understood; shoyo had been headstrong and put his all into everything he did, even the most mundane. he would go to the ends of the earth if it meant he could keep playing volleyball, and that’s exactly what he did.

it was why you fell in love with him, so you let him go.

summer 2016

you don’t think you’ll ever get used to the summer heat, in the same way you don’t think you’ll ever get used to shoyo being across the world. 

tsukishima might’ve been right when he called you dramatic — it’s only been a few months and you think you’ve already been depleted of shoyo, with his bright orange hair and his endless amount of stamina and the positive energy he radiated no matter the circumstances.

he’s kept steady contact with you since his departure, much to your surprise. you’d thought the boy would get too caught up in his head admiring the new scenery and people — so when the first phone call you get is at 3 in the morning the day after he leaves, you’re equally surprised as you are confused. 

“ah, sorry!” he exclaimed, having heard you yawn into the phone. “i can call you back later. i forgot what time it was over there. i’m sorry!” 

you could only let out a small, tired laugh, telling him it was fine and that any contact was better than none.

neither of you get used to the time difference. shoyo still calls you at ungodly hours in the morning, profusely apologizing when you wake up bleary-eyed with a raspy voice because it’s the middle of the afternoon in brazil. you still call him at the start of each day, when it’s far too late for an athlete to be awake. 

he always picks up.

you don't mention it, nor do you allow yourself to think too deeply about it.

the two of you talk about everything and nothing at once. shoyo tells you of his introverted roommate and his new job as a delivery boy — you think the way he gushes over the bike he uses to commute is cute. you talk about your job, and how he should be glad he decided to not go to college because fuck does it suck. you’ve pulled more all-nighters than you have in your entire life within the few months that have passed. 

“did you ever find your wallet?” you ask. shoyo had texted you a week ago, sulking over how someone plucked his wallet from his back pocket when he got lost. you knew it was special to him — natsu had gotten him it, after all. 

“no, i didn’t,” he sighs, and you frown. “but! i did run into oikawa!” 

“ah, yeah,” you giggle, “saw the photo you sent. did you send it to kageyama?” 

“sure did! had to show off to him,” he bragged, “oikawa and i went to one of my favorite restaurants. think he helped me out of my slump from losing my wallet. hey, if you ever come to brazil, i’ll be sure to bring you there!” 

“i’ll be waiting. and, slump?” you question. you knew losing something valuable would suck for anyone, but you weren’t aware it’d pulled the spiker into a depressed state. it wasn't in shoyo’s nature to be depressed, you mused. typically, he was the one pulling people out of their slumps. 

“yeah, i got all homesick and stuff when i found out i lost it,” shoyo replies, much quieter. “it was like i lost a piece of home, y’know. i miss you guys.” his voice trails off at the end, an almost melancholy hint to it. 

you’re unsure what to say — in your few years of knowing him, you can count the number of times you've seen shoyo genuinely upset on one hand. you hope your hum of understanding comforts him. 

“well, if it makes you feel any better, everyone back here misses you too.” 

you resist the urge to say that you miss him.

“i’d hope so,” is his reply.

fall 2017

fall welcomes you kindly. you become better-accustomed with managing your time, and school no longer has as harsh of a hold on you as it did during the blazing months of summer in your first year of college. a soothing chill has settled along the city — not cold enough to make your nose twitch and turn red, but you’ve started wearing an extra layer and covering your neck with the scarf you bought with shoyo when you were second years. 

you and shoyo still talk rather often — although the phone calls have noticeably slowed, as he’s found himself a solid partner for beach volleyball. heitor, if you recall correctly. you suppose it’s your fault as much as it is his, even if you know you could never truly blame him. while you have gotten better at balancing schoolwork, it’s only diminished the small amount of free time you already had. 

you’re not mad. you don’t think you could even feel upset at shoyo for something you should’ve seen coming from the start. what were you expecting? you should’ve known that you would drift away from him, because you knew that was what happened to almost everyone after they graduate highschool. you knew this — it was the first thought you had when you had received the slip of paper that signified the end of your youth. 

you suppose you’d grown too used to shoyo’s presence to notice the change earlier.

you try to talk to shoyo as much as he talks to you, but he’d always been better at it. it was in his nature to be social more than it had been yours, if his endless number of friends were to tell you anything. you’re sure he’s made good relations in brazil, even as a foreigner.

sometimes, you’ll see his occasional posts online of his endeavors — photos of the beach when the sun has barely risen, the ocean sparkling in the light, or they’ll be of the food he’s made, usually a homely japanese dish. you’ve even seen a picture or two of him watching one piece on a dinky t.v., and you distantly remember shoyo telling you about how he was able to bond with his roommate over the show.

you hope he’s doing well — conquering his dreams, that is.

winter 2017

winter does, as expected, not treat you nicely. 

the chill it brings engulfs your entire figure, forcing you to wear layer upon layer and keep a few extra heat packets in the pockets of your backpack. even if fall gave you time to prepare, it will never be enough with the way winter comes at you with full force.

you suppose that’s why so many holidays occur during winter — christmas, new years, valentines day…the list goes on. people need a reason to distract themselves from the biting cold that forces a hole open in their hearts, only to close when the weather warms once again.

winter only widens the ever-present one in yours.

you can feel the pit in your stomach open more and more as the days pass. despite school not being in session, your time is filled to the brim with work and other priorities, leaving little to no space for your loved ones. you managed to find time to see your friends from high school — everyone but shoyo. even while karasuno’s old volleyball team is bundled together, complete with coach ukai and takeda, there’s still a space where you know he should be. 

and if you look upset staring at an empty space in the wall, no one mentions it.

the holidays pass by with little notice. you join your family in celebrations, greet your high school and college friends alike when they arrive. 

you send shoyo the same greetings — albeit with the timing likely off due to the time difference. regardless, he greets you back with the same fervor he’s had since the moment you met him. you like his message, planning on continuing on with your day by staying in bed watching the same three cheesy holiday movies they play every winter. you have work tomorrow, so you hope to savor the small amount of free time you have left, even if it’s spent rotting in bed. 

your phone buzzes from next to you, and you’re half-expecting it to be a spam call. when you read the id, you’re surprised to see shoyo’s name — there’d been long enough gaps between calls that you had lost the habit of expecting them, and you recall the most recent one being maybe a month ago. 

(the calls have slowed even more. you try to not think about it — try not to let yourself be hurt by it.)

you press accept and bring the device to your ear. 

“happy holidays!” shoyo exclaims over the static. even if it’s been over a year since you've last seen him, his energy is still contagious as ever. the corners of your lips quirk up in a nostalgic smile. 

“happy holidays, shoyo,” you reply, much calmer than your companion. 

conversation comes easily from there — the once empty air around you is filled with the stories shoyo has and your amused giggles. you tell him about his old teammates, and he whines over his and kageyama’s childish scores. for reasons that don't surprise you, they’ve managed to keep track of scores regarding anything they could consider a competition despite shoyo being in another country.

there’s a moment of silence that beats on for a second too long — you’re about to say your goodbyes and hang up, but shoyo takes it as a chance to tell you why he called you.

“i’m coming back this spring,” he says, voice softer than what you’d grown accustomed to. your grip tightens against the pillow you're hugging against your frame, eyes widening. 

“really?” you gasp, shocked. 

“really.” he repeats, and you know he’s smiling, even if you can't see him. 

spring 2018

over the past two years shoyo has spent in brazil, patience is truly a virtue he has learned. mastered, dare he say. 

everything took time. cleaning his room. his roommate warming up to him. learning how to play beach volleyball. speaking a new language. maintaining a routine. learning how to fly again. 

sometimes, though, he wonders what his life would’ve been like had he stayed in japan. would he still be as strong as he is now, without having to leave his life behind? shoyo knew that his departure was sudden — nobody expects a high schooler to up and leave the country the second they graduate, after all. even kageyama stayed in japan, going to the olympics shortly after they had completed high school.

shoyo knows what he left back in japan when he stood in the airport two years ago. that day, he left everything he knew — his mom, his sister, his friends, volleyball as he knew it, and  you.

he’s waited for you for the past two years. 

brazil taught him how to be a better volleyball player — showed him the importance of routine and training your body. it taught him to not rush into things, and that everything would come to him in due time. 

so, in the same chill of the airport he left you in, shoyo meets you again. you’re staring at him, and it feels as if you are the only people in the building. he knows that his friends are waiting just by the two of you, but all he can focus on is you and the way your lips are slightly parted in awe and how much you’ve grown while he was gone and how much he wants to kiss you.

shoyo takes careful steps towards you, the same boyish grin you’d grown to love adorning his face. you’re frozen in place, but he figures that it’s okay because he’ll come to you. it’s the least he could do after leaving you in his wake just a few years back. 

when he’s finally face-to-face with you, you’re still star-struck.

“you’re back,” you breathe. 

“i’m back,” shoyo replies. he presses forward, cups your face in his hands, and kisses you, just how he wanted to all those years ago.

he can taste the salty flavor of your tears, and he nearly pulls back in concern, but you stop him. your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer to you. there’s an equal mix of cheers as there are sounds of disgust, but neither of you pay any mind.

the only thing that either of you are focused on is the fact that shoyo’s here, and he’s here to stay. 

[cabotwife]

Hello :) Could you write a Johanna x fem!reader where the reader is Finnick’s younger sister and Winner of the 72nd games. Her and Johanna first meet at her games as her mentor introduces them. The two instantly click. They get closer every year as the two mentor and attend Capitol parties or something. They form a strong friendship but keep the growing feelings lowkey just in fear of something bad happening.

At the quarter quell the reader ends up volunteering for Annie. In the capitol, reader opens up to Johanna about her fears about the get Katniss out plan and worries about losing her and Finnick. (I’m a slut for vulnerable emotional moments lol) Maybe something happens during the games that exposes the two a little bit but you don’t have to write about the games if you don’t want to.

(PS You’re fucking amazing with beautiful writing and am giving me all the Johanna content I have been craving)

Thanks a lot 🖤🖤🖤

Too Well

Johanna Mason x Fem!Odair!Reader

warnings: poorly written? not proofread

word count: 1207

a/n: first time writing again in forever, sorry it's short

--

"Johanna?" you call out, your voice echoing down the dimly lit hallway as you reach the top of the stairs. you had been on your way to your friend’s quarters when you saw her silhouette standing in the hallway.

she’s standing in front of a closed elevator. and to your surprise, she was completely naked, not a thread of clothing on her.

blinking rapidly in the dim light, you squint your eyes as you look at her, attempting to make sense of the situation. "why-" you start, your question hanging in the air.

"don’t ask,” the taller girl mumbles, her voice sounding tired and defeated as she walks towards her door, motioning for you to follow her.

and so, you do. you follow her, like a loyal puppy trailing behind its owner, you are tugged along by an invisible leash.

once inside her room, you find yourself awkwardly seated on her bed as she goes about dressing herself, her movements mechanical and without thought.

“why’re you here?” she asks, her voice muffled as she tugs a loose shirt over her head.

exhaling dramatically, you let out a loud, exaggerated sigh as you let yourself fall backwards onto her bed, sinking into the soft mattress. “was talking with Finnick..” you mumble, turning your head to the side to look at her. you can see her arch her eyebrow up in question, a silent inquiry waiting to be answered, “i’m having.. thoughts.. ‘bout the plan.” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.

Johanna furrows her eyebrows, a look of concern crossing her features. she makes her way over to the bed and sits down next to you. “what do you mean?”

“i’m scared, Johanna.” you admit, your voice trembling as you look up at her, “why- why do we have to sacrifice ourselves for her?”

“it’s for the rebellion.” the brunette answers matter-of-factly, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

and it is. at least it’s supposed to be.

“i know.. i know.. i just, i don’t wanna lose you, or Finn.”

a small frown forms on Johanna’s face, her hardened exterior softening slightly. “oh, y/n.” she whispers, shuffling closer to where you’re laying.

you pout and lay your head in her lap, “i know, i’m being a baby. it’s for the rebellion and it’s important. i’m just scared..” you look up at her, your eyes pleading for understanding.

Johanna sighs, her fingers gently running through your hair, “you’re not being a baby, i’m afraid too.” she admits.

“really?” you ask softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “what’re you afraid of?”

the brunette sputters for a moment, caught off guard by your question. “well, losing you, i guess.. and Finnick,” she mutters, “and what if we fail? y’know?” her fingers still toying with your hair.

You nod in understanding, leaning into her touch, seeking comfort from her presence.

"can i stay here tonight?" you whisper, the words barely escaping your lips as your eyes flutter shut in a state of blissful contentment. "i don't wanna go back to my own quarters, i can't bear the thought of it. it would make this all feel too…real."

Johanna hums in understanding, "of course, you're always welcome here," she murmurs, her voice soft and comforting as she continues to gaze down at you. a tender smile graces her lips, and she can't help but think that you look like a sleepy kitten, all curled up and content in her lap.

a tranquil, comfortable silence descends upon the room. the soothing strokes of her fingers through your locks have you practically purring in her lap, your body relaxing even further into her.

"hey Johanna?" you whisper, your voice breaking the quiet as you peel open your eyes, looking up at her with a questioning gaze.

"yeah?" she responds, her heartbeat quickening at the sudden eye contact.

"if it comes to it… don't sacrifice yourself for her," you mumble, shifting slightly in Johanna's lap to make yourself more comfortable. "i need you."

a soft blush dusts Johanna's cheeks at your words, and she nods in understanding, her heart pounding in her chest.

"promise me, ‘anna."

"y/n… it's our mission," she sighs, tilting her head slightly to the side as she contemplates your words.

"i don't care. promise me, Johanna."

a tense silence hangs between the two of you for a moment, the air thick with anticipation.

"i promise," she finally relents, the words slipping past her lips in a quiet whisper.

--

"Johanna?!" you yell as you see her darting off into the distance, following closely behind Katniss. your heart is pounding loudly in your chest, and without a second thought, you move to chase after the two of them. however, before you can take more than a few steps, your brother grabs you firmly by your arms, "Finnick! let me go!!" you plead, desperation seeping into your voice.

only moments before, your group had been huddled together, discussing your plans on the cornucopia. the tension was palpable, everyone on edge knowing that danger lurked around every corner. and then you were attacked by the careers.

poor Wiress had fallen victim to Gloss, Katniss had avenged her with an arrow to Gloss' chest. Johanna killed Cashmere when she had charged at Katniss.

and now, chaos ensued. Katniss was hot on the heels of Enobaria and Brutus, and Johanna was chasing after Katniss.

you struggle in Finnick’s grip, your hands pushing at his wrists, "let me go!" your voice is almost drowned out by the sounds of the jungle.

suddenly, an eerie silence descends upon the jungle, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Finnick quickly covers your mouth, his head turning, trying to discern any sounds that might indicate danger.

the ground beneath you starts to groan and creak, "Fuck..." Finnick mutters under his breath, his eyes darting around, looking for his trident.

in a flurry of movements, he releases you, "come here, fuck, come here!" he urges, pulling both you and Peeta towards him. the island starts to spin, gaining momentum with each passing second.

with a grunt, Finnick buries his trident into the ground, his knuckles turning white as he holds onto it. without hesitation, you and the short blonde also grab onto the sturdy trident.

once the island comes to a jarring halt, you are immediately on your feet, your eyes scanning the area for any sign of Johanna.

you find her helping Katniss out of the water. your eyebrows furrow in anger as you storm up to her, giving her a hard shove backwards by her shoulders.

"what- y/n?" Johanna's voice is filled with surprise, her eyes wide with confusion.

"you promised." you say through gritted teeth, jabbing your accusing finger into her sternum.

"y/n-"

"you promised!" your voice rings out louder this time, as you give her another shove backwards.

"i didn’t break it? i’m still here-'' Johanna's voice trails off, her brows furrowing in confusion.

without another word, you push past her, your shoulder hitting hers as you make your way towards the beach.

Johanna watches you as you walk away, her gaze then turning to Finnick, who simply shrugs, before following in your footsteps.

[toutvatoujoursbien]

midnight thoughts (i hope i don't regret this)

Let me preface this by saying that these are just (very, very long) ramblings I’ve had in my head over the past few days and are MY opinions. I never post to Tumblr, but my level of emotional unhinged-ness right now needs an outlet so that I can process everything and feel, well, less unhinged.

I have never been this enamored with any celebrity or promo for a show like I have for this season of Bridgerton. Admittedly, I am a fan of the books and Penelope & Colin are my favorite couple. I’m going to age myself by saying that I read the series almost 20-ish years ago; past me could have never imagined I would actually get to see a Regency romance on my screen. Romances are for the girlies, and what the girlies like tends to be mocked, ridiculed, and not taken seriously - I’ve seen this time and time again across many different fandoms. I also really enjoy the tv series for being its own creative adaptation. I’ve liked many (though not all) of the changes they’ve made to the show; and I’ve liked all the little nods to the books that have been sprinkled in. Are the books or show perfect? Of course not, but that doesn’t mean I can’t love them for bringing me some entertainment and joy and escapism. I think that’s the beauty of it, I get to have the best of both worlds, so to speak. And for me personally, it’s been so fun to watch the press coverage over the past six or so months. As a fandom, I think we’ve been EXTREMELY well fed. 

Having Nicola and Luke as the leads has been a true blessing; I think/hope folks can tell how much they clearly love and understand their characters/roles. I know everyone has been talking nonstop about their chemistry and their close friendship, which I think is beautiful, truly unique and special. How can you not enjoy watching two people, who seem to genuinely like one other, talk endlessly about a project that they love and have poured so much into? And the way they have supported one another, not only during promo, but during their years of friendship? Astonishing, really. So while I am old enough to know better than to ship real people, I would’t blame anyone (myself included) if they got caught up in the whirlwind excitement and couldn’t help but wonder a sincere “What if?” (At least that was the case for me.) Isn’t that the beauty of hope and possibility and potential? Like, I knew rationally and intellectually that the likelihood of them being together was low, but damn if I didn’t feel giddy seeing their interviews, reading articles, and watching video after video.

“Oh, but it’s all PR!” they cry. Maybe, but like most of life, I don’t think it’s so simple or clear. I think there’s been a lot of nuance and perhaps some blurring of the lines during this promo tour. As long as we are respectful about it and realize that at the end of the day, the only opinions that matter in regards to their relationship are N & L’s, I don’t think some lighthearted dreaming is unheard of. We have to remember, though, that what we’re shown is only a fraction of their true selves, carefully and deliberately curated to accommodate their status as actors/celebrities/those in the public eye. 

(And yes, I know this is the internet and therefore everyone has an opinion - again, myself included. But I struggle to understand why some people think that their opinions should be deemed THE most important to the discussion or would have an impact on any type of outcome, especially in this particular scenario… I hope it’s obvious I’m referring to the very vocal people that chose to expend their energy in hateful, negative ways. Aren’t you exhausted?

However, as a longtime lurker, I have to admit it’s been absolutely fascinating reading all the different perspectives and takes on this too. I think reading other POVs and seeing people articulate points that challenge me and make me think is a good thing - again, as long as it’s all in a respectful manner. 

Also I have spent literal years curating and cultivating a social media bubble that doesn’t make me want to cry or give up on life. I don’t seek out negativity and hate - constructive criticism for a thing is a different matter. It may be “putting blinders up,” but honestly, real life can be a shitty enough place that I would like to spend my limited time online looking at cute things and learning or reading about stuff that makes me feel less alone in the world.)

Last week, I stayed off social media to avoid Bridgerton spoilers until I could watch Part 2. I did open Twitter on Thursday to check on something that was entirely unrelated, saw the absolute meltdown of a shitstorm brewing and quickly NOPED out of it. (I was also reminded of why Twitter scares me at times. And I'm not calling it X because that is stupid.) When I finally caught up over the weekend (both with Bridgerton and… all the other stuff 😅), I felt like I was experiencing mental and emotional whiplash.

Look, ultimately, I don’t know them personally and know even less about their private lives. As an outside observer (even though, yes, I have a vested interest in them), Nicola is fucking amazing and Luke seems to be a nice, sweet guy. I think they are each others support, and it has been mentioned many times that she has helped him deal with the intensity/anxiety of being in the spotlight this season. So here are some potentially hot takes: I just think, when they’re together, it’s like he’s a different, better person. When he soaks up even a little bit of her light (sorry, I had to), I can see all the qualities in him that she is constantly gushing about. But, and again this is my take on it, I also think he has a lot of growing up to do. I don’t know much about his supposed “hot/fuck boy summer,” but it seems to me that he’s perhaps going through his own Colin phase, which he can totally do. I genuinely want to see him and Nic succeed. However, I do think he’s got to get a better handling on his media image now (this whole thing reeks of a PR nightmare, but I need to take off my comms professional hat). The way this has all played out has been, imo, a clusterfuck. There are other issues that I’m also not going to get into at the moment. 

The thing that frustrated me the most is the timing of those “leaked” photos. You’re telling me that N&L went through SIX months of a - literal - worldwide promo tour, building up hype, doing countless interviews and appearances, etc., only to have these pap pictures “captured” on the night of the Pt. 2 London premiere??? And yes, while I’m aware there were rumblings of a gf being at various events/locations, I didn’t pay much attention to it (read: my curated social media bubble, lol). And I think the lack of confirmation up to that point from Luke and his team just mades things even more tricky/messy. So when the inevitable backlash played out online, piled on top of the hate Polin seems to get from many corners of the internet (Is it ship wars? Regular trolls just trolling? Polin and/or Lukola antis? People who, for whatever reason, don’t like the actors themselves or, worse, don’t like the creative choices/decisions made by the higher-ups and therefore deem it okay to spread hate online? All of the above, most likely.), I know I felt like I had been hit by a train.

Here’s my point: I think what should have been a moment of triumph and a joyous occasion for Nic, Luke, and Bridgerton season 3, was sadly overshadowed by the aforementioned shitstorm. And that’s a damn shame. Too many cast and crew put in a lot of time, effort, and blood sweat and tears, to pull this all together. I was happy with Season 3, which perhaps I will deep dive about in another post because this one has already spiraled out of control. Were there things I wished they had included or, rather, things that could have been left out? Yes, of course. But at the end of the day, I think we got a beautiful story led by two actors who love Polin as much as we do. And I cannot wait to see them back for Season 4. Plus, seriously, those viewing numbers alone should have been mostly what people are talking about. I hope all this doesn’t take away from the overall impact of the show and season.

I think it’s okay to be disappointed by all the stuff that has come out over the last few days. I think it’s perfectly human to want/need to process your thoughts and emotions. What is NOT OKAY is sending hate to anyone, period. And I hope you don’t let all that has happened sour your enjoyment of Season 3 and/or Polin.

Lastly, if you take anything away from this long ass post, it’s that Nicola is a GODDAMN QUEEN. Anyone who says otherwise is speaking slander and we do not stand for that in this house. She has carried herself during this time with grace, charm, and poise, consistently and constantly. And she is always ready for a mega fashion moment. She must be exhausted - already on to her next film/job but also perpetually online, and even stepping up to defend her costar. I may have to do a whole separate post just gushing about her and add to all the people already singing her praises. (And as a big fuck you to all the haters.)

Geez Louise, I clearly have a lot of feelings (more than I allowed myself to believe I did…). But I would love to hear what others think! Please, I need friends with whom I can have rational (okay, maybe slightly unhinged), spirited, deep analyses and discussion of this whole thing, or anything else we might have in common!