#the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis

[threebooksoneplot]

Hey, do you want an even wilder fun fact about the original structure/ending of new moon? Apparently the Volturi weren't originally in it at all!!!!

No word about what happened instead, but smeyer said in her 2009 Oprah interview that in the very first draft it was "all in bella's head," but when she talked to her mom about it, she recommended more action at the end, so she put the Volturi in. (Talk about no tension or ticking clock.)

sources: here's a youtube video of it, this question's at 3:11, and an article summarizing the interview

also, love the podcast so much, so glad you continued into a second season!! (i still haven't recovered from the homophobia section of dark noon, lol)

omgggg more SMEYER WRITING PROCESS LORE!! I (G) love getting glimpses into her twisted mind, especially when they come with receipts. I think I've abandoned all pretense of not being a "put her under a microscope" stephenie meyer scholar at this point. thank you thank youuu

and oof, just imagining us trying to find things to enjoy about NM without even a hint of volturi present...we'd be sitting in a chair having our own months-long Possibility.mp3 moment.

for anyone else curious, the article link above doesn't appear to be working, but I tracked down what I think is the same one!

also I'd forgotten smeyer's mom's name is "candy" thank you for reminding me of that crucial detail 💀

(didn't she put that name in The Host? I swear she did)

—G

listen you have no idea how hard it is to keep from nearly pissing my pants every time I read g's dark noon excerpts. this is literally me:

no but seriously thanks for dropping these incredible receipts on us. in the tiktok age where people constantly share things like "did you KNOW that twilight isnt even a ROMANCE 😱" and it's just a regurgitated headcanon with like 35493 likes, it's so fun to see you stroll up and be like "okay get a load of THiS actual twilight fun fact" with your works cited and everything. bravo friend, i'm delighted rn

but real talk its kind of wild to see how hard it is to track down fandom info from even 15 years ago, so to have y'all keeping tabs and spreading the tea like this isn't just delightful for us (and everyone else who gets to read this now) but you're doing PHENOMENAL fandom archiving my friend!!!! thank you!!!

—shannon

[gezellig-writes]

hello! i am here to ask you to go on for days and days about jacob's great-great aunt susannah black, because this sounds SUPER interesting

First, thank you for giving me reason to talk about Susannah, I've grown quite fond of her :) Second, sorry this took a minute! I realized that most of my thoughts and ideas were not organized and I had to fix that lol.

So, canonically, we only know that she exists and is one of Ephraim's sisters. She's in the Black family tree that exists on the wiki (one of the three that makes me want to gouge out my eyes with a rusty spoon they're awful and 1000% the reason I made my own), and we know that she and Deborah are twins. As the Cullens originally came to Hoquiam sometime in the mid-30s (the treaty was signed sometime in 1936), we can assume Susannah was alive at that point. For my purposes, she was born in 1915 and was 21 when the treaty was signed.

Therefore, when the Cullens returned in 2003, which is only 67 years later, it's not unreasonable to assume that people who were around during their first stay are still alive, though we're told canonically that all of the last pack has died by this point (also a BOLD choice for Carlisle to make- Mr. Cullen, MD should know a normal human lifespan by this point if he's been alive and practicing medicine for centuries). Therefore, Susannah, now in her late 80s and now a tribal elder, remembers exactly who the Cullens are and is not happy about the fact they returned.

She is also one of the remaining native speakers of the Quileute language and worked with the tribal school to develop the curriculum they teach, in addition to being a talented artisan and fantastic cook.

Having been there for Ephraim during his initial phase and adjusting to the role of alpha (while also likely dealing with the OIA agents and the creation of the tribal constitution), she is not a fan of the 'let's leave this group of teenagers to deal with this life-altering transformation alone' policy that seemingly exists canonically and becomes one of the pack's fiercest defenders and advocates.

She can be a bit reserved but will fight tooth and nail for those she loves, which she does quite often for the pack. But good luck getting back into her good graces if you break her trust.

Also! This gives me a reason to change Jacob's suspicions about the pack in New Moon pre-phase. The idea that most of La Push thought Sam was a cult leader is just silly (forming a gang, maybe, but cult activity? come on). Instead, Jacob is extremely confused and suspicious about why Sam, Jared, Paul, and later Embry are suddenly spending so much time with his Auntie Susannah

[howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen]

ace every time i listen to mcr i think of you

I’m honored omg 😭 what are your faves of theirs??

(the ask game post)

[leahcee]

COLOR ASK GAME! lilac, lemon, fern, mint (can u tell i think you're amazing)

OMG BAE!!!! Literally sending you all these as well 🥺🥺🥺 every time I see you in my notifs I giggle and twirl my hair <333

[palmofafreezinghand]

Since the summer before kindergarten, when Charlie Swan tripped over his two left feet and fell into an unaware Billy Black — changing the course of both their lives forever — the two had only spent one summer apart. 

Nowadays they didn’t speak of the disastrous three months they threw themselves into the arms of others, in the hopes of ignoring the fact their friendship had, without either intending it — in fact both fighting desperately to prevent it — morphed into something that could no longer be defined as merely friendship. 

The two did not speak of the woman traveling through their small town who wore Charlie’s grandmother’s engagement ring for two whole weeks before she broke up with him on a sticky note. They did not mention the woman Billy had grown up with, who he had politely courted through the summer only to lose her to a full-ride scholarship to a school five hours away. 

Shortly after being utterly embarrassed and broken-hearted — although the hurt had not stung quite as much as when they had stormed out of each other’s lives months prior — they bumped into each other in the only bar in town, Charlie tripping over his own two left feet and spilling Billy’s beer over both of them. It was the first time either had laughed in days. 

By the end of the year the two men had pooled every cent to their name and bought a creaky old fishing boat together; it was a reasonable decision, Billy coming from a long long line of fishermen and Charlie having the worst case of sea sickness in history. 

The little ship would disappear into the vast ocean for a week at a time, away from prying eyes and the hushed whispers of shore. When the boat finally sputtered back into port it was full of enough fish to feed the entire town for weeks, they gave most of it away to those who could use it, selling only enough to pay the slip rental and the occasional trip to the laundromat to keep their shared collection of flannels somewhat clean. 

One day a scraggly orange cat wandered on-board, greeting the men on the swim step as they came back from their monthly breakfast at The Lodge. Old superstitions of good luck forced them to keep the stray, arguing only over what to name the thing. They landed on Anchovy. 

The two odd fishermen, and their cat, lived on that dilapidated boat, together, long after they could both afford apartments to themselves. 

They did not mourn the lives they could have had. They lived the one they had never dared to hope for amongst the choppy seas and the constant smell of bait, cursed the fact they had ever spent even one summer apart, and thanked everything they would never be just friends.

[eclipsingmidnight]

What do you MEAN you didn’t vote for María in the twilight character poll??!?!?!

This be us fr @fuckmeyer @the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis

[teamjacobthot]

nyctophobia

chapter 8: trigger

read on ao3 | read on ff.net | spotify playlist | fan cast

summary: think of the biggest hater you know. it's a man, right? prom '05 has finally arrived, and it's about to get uglier than edward cullen up in here...

word count: ~7.7k

warnings: more of the same in previous chapters + blatant sexual tension and flirtatiousness + extra profanity (first "fuck" incoming) + physical violence

thank you so much to everyone who's been following along and being patient with me. I told you it wouldn't take me this long to give y'all another chapter! I just wanna add that I know we all know how the original story that smeyer gave us ends for our princess diana of the twilight saga, but let this be a reminder to have fun and like… live in the moment of the story lol. while we all know how shit goes for lee-lee in canon, this story is still a fanfic. just trust me.

this chapter was masterfully beta-read by @bellasdumptruckass. tytyty so much for taking this chapter from a good 8.5 to an 11. I'm SO proud of how it turned out.

I hope you enjoy the update! show me some love in the comments if you're real <3

tag list (literally just copying and pasting from old posts - pls lmk if you want me to tag/untag you in future nyctophobia posts): @leahclearwaterdefensesquad @cheerynoir @big-idiot-wolf-boys @the-golden-onion @howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen @phil-dwyer-stan-account @paulxlahotee @edwardsmedow @the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis @effervescent-influenza @gezellig-writes @witchyangela @leahcee @haletwinsstan @musingsofvenus @leahclearwlwater @haemshaems @vampiresarezombies @femmealice @blackpack @bellasoutrageousflavor @tenarcansteponme @me-and-jake @plainjaniedee @renegadepack @manicpixietwilight @emotwilights @jacobyouidiotihadit @edwardsmate4ever @sugarshackpeasant

[emmett-mchearty]

An Untimely Frost... - Chapter 20

@rose-lily-hale @vampireacademia @twilightofficial @queertwilight @before-night @the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis @effervescent-hoe @edwardsparklehands @teamjacobthot @jacobsbadwig @twilight-mademegay @bellasredchevy @bellaskhakis @twihards-never-die @jasperwhitcock @volturialice @su-angelvicioso

Thank you for your patience while I dealt with some family stuff! Remember to reblog to support your local creators! 🙏🏻🩷🌈 love yall!

[musingsofvenus]

“He’s like, the Terminator or something,” Bella says.

Bella is a foul-mouthed, accident prone florist. Jacob is a quiet tattoo artist who opened up his shop across the street.

Read Inked Blossoms on AO3 🌸🐺

@the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis @plainjaniedee @big-idiot-wolf-boys @teamjacobthot

[su-angelvicioso]

@the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis I was thinking of your tags about María’s outfit in my art and thought I’d share the inspiration behind it.❤️

In case anyone else was wondering where I got the idea for the outfit I drew for María. It was inspired by the dresses commonly worn in Baile folklórico. María loves dance and she has definitely attended many of the “Ballet Folklórico de México” ensemble concerts.

Because I have the hc that she makes her own clothes, often using old techniques (she learned from the best lol) to stay grounded and close to her culture. I also hc that she made that outfit, inspired by the pretty dresses she’s seen in dance but she gives her outfits a more ‘modern’ twist and added her own sense of style to it. She’s a hot girl, would you expect anything less?

Here are some pics w/sources that visualize the idea:

Source 1

Source 2

Source 3

Source 4, 5, & 6

Source 7 & 8

Source 9

Source 10.

[gezellig-writes]

hey! hope you're doing well. for that "soft asks" ask game, 7, 23, and 29?

Thank you, and I hope you're doing well too. I have some things this year that I'm really excited about, including a trip I've been wanting to go on for over 10+ years.

7: what color brings you peace?

Blue. It’s always been my favorite color, and it makes me think of the views from the top of a mountain after finishing a hike

23: favorite piece of clothing?

Right now it’s a vintage dress+hostess coat set I found a few months ago. It fits perfectly and makes me feel like Jackie O

29: morning, afternoon, or night?

This is hard- I love the peace and quiet of the morning, the rising of the sun, and the quiet chatter as the world starts to wake, but there is also something quite beautiful about the night sky and the stillness the night brings.

soft asks to get to know people

[howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen]

i mean, man or muppet slaps

it absolutely does!!!!

(the post we’re referencing)

[moonice20408]

Smeyer is obsessed with teenagers fr

So, after seeing this post by @the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis, I ended up going through the Illustrated Guide a bit more thoroughly to look at the ages of all the Twilight Vamps when they were turned. It's a bit creepy honestly, and the woman the woman is for sure not trying to hide her knks with these mostly teenagers. 

And i dunno, quick fic info sheet if it helps anyone 🤷‍♀️

Edward – 17

Bella – 18

Alice – 19

Jasper – 19

Emmett – 20

Rosalie – 18

Esme – 26

Carlisle – ‘Approximately’ 23. I would like to take the time to mention that people did know the date when he was alive, so the fact Carlisle canonly doesn’t know his exact age is ridiculous. AND ALSO the London sewers had not been created at this time, so how was he killed by sewer vamps smeyer!?

Victoria – Born in the 1550s, transformed late 1560s, at around 18.

James – Born around 1780, turned around 1805, making him about 25. 🚩

Laurent – DOB 1700s, turned around 1740s at about 40.

Eleazar - DOB 1700s. Transformed in 1700s.

Carmen – DOB 1700s. Transformed in 1700s. Lazy writing. 🙄

Irina – DOB 1000s. Transformed 1000s.

Kate (full name Katrina I just learnt) - DOB 1000s. Transformed 1000s.

Tanya - DOB 1000s. Transformed 1000s. We get it smeyer, you can't be bothered...

Garrett – DOB mid 1700’s. Transformed around 1780. Won’t lie. I read that wrong at first and thought he was 80 for a sec…

There is not really any info on the girl’s mother, Sasha, that isn’t in the books, but the immortal child, Vasilii, she created was 3.

Aro – Ok, so the guide says ‘Born around 1300 BC’ and ‘Transformed around 1260 BC’ But at the bottom of the same page says he was ‘transformed in his mid-20’s’ so ????

Marcus – ‘Transformed before he was 20’ But at the top of the page has his DOB as ‘Around 1350 B.C’ and his date of transformation ‘Unknown’… Like girl can you not do simple math!?

Caius – Late 40’s. But same as Marcus, has a DOB but and unknown date for his transformation.

Sulpicia – Described as a ‘lovely young orphan’ 😶

Didyme – No age, but is younger than Aro.

Athenodora – No real description, was already turned when she met Caius.

Alec – 12 or 13

Jane – 12 or 13

Demetri – DOB around 1000 AD. Transformation after 1000 AD. Thanks smeyer, very helpful.

Felix – Mans got no birthdays 😔

Heidi – DOB before 1550. Transformed before 1550. Yup, ‘before’ on both dates. How can this woman give everyone an exact height, but lose interest with the birthdays? You size-kink is showing smeyer.

Renata – Around 20. Why does this random character who doesn’t show up until the end have an age, but my man felix got nothin!?

Chelsea – DOB before 1100AD. Transformation after 1100AD. Girl just pick a number 😤

Afton – No dates

Corin – No dates

Santiago – No dates

Amun – Born before 2500 BC, but no indication of age.

Kebi - Born before 2500 BC, but no indication of age.

Benjamin – Born sometime between 1790 – 1800. Transformed sometime between 1805 – 1820 at age 15. HE IS 15!?!?!?! 👶

Tia – As a human, she was 3 years younger than Benjamin. But she was turned 5 years after him when she was 17. They are also distantly related. Because of course they are 🥴

Liam – Born around 1615, turned around 1651, making him 36.

Siobhan – Born around 1490, turned around 1510, at approximately 20.

Maggie – Born 1832, turned 1847, also 15! 👶

Maria – No DOB, but transformed 1800’s or earlier, at 19

Lucy – No dates.

Nettie – No dates

Stefan – Unknown DOB, turned before 1000 BC.

Vladimir - Unknown DOB, turned before 1000 BC. Also, smeyer did enough research to know Romania was not yet a country when these two were turned, but didn’t know about the London sewer system. My girl, get 👏 it 👏together👏

Alistair – Born around 1300, transformed around 1320, so is around 20

Peter – Born between 1860 and 1920. Turn between 1860 and 1920. Just pick a number woman.

Charlotte – Born between 1920 and 1925. Turned around 1938, at 18. Smeyer, just say she was born in 1920, why is it so hard for you to do that. The amount of times I’ve written ‘around’ is starting to piss me off. JUST DECIDE. IT IS LITTERALLY UP TO YOU. 😤😤😤

Kachiri – No dates

Senna – No dates

Zafrina – No dates. Rude. We know why. 🙃

[teamjacobthot]

nyctophobia

chapter 10: hater

read on ao3 | read on ff.net

summary: that's that Lee espresso.... word count: ~3.4k warnings: profanity, sex mention, the usual

thank you to everyone who's stuck with me for these updates. I appreciate all of your kind words.

huge thank you to @bellasdumptruckass for getting my ass in gear yet again. I always appreciate your insights and talents and your galaxy brain <3<3<3

tag list (literally just copying and pasting from old posts - pls lmk if you want me to tag/untag you in future nyctophobia posts): @leahclearwaterdefensesquad @cheerynoir @big-idiot-wolf-boys @the-golden-onion @howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen @phil-dwyer-stan-account @paulxlahotee @edwardsmedow @the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis @effervescent-influenza @gezellig-writes @witchyangela @leahcee @haletwinsstan @musingsofvenus @leahclearwlwater @haemshaems @vampiresarezombies @femmealice @blackpack @bellasoutrageousflavor @tenarcansteponme @me-and-jake @plainjaniedee @renegadepack @manicpixietwilight @emotwilights @jacobyouidiotihadit @edwardsmate4ever @sugarshackpeasant

[emmett-mchearty]

An Untimely Frost Chapter 19

Hello my dears I am back. 😈☕️💕🌈 Maria girlies this one is for you. 😘

@twilightofficial @rose-lily-hale @acewardcullen @effervescent-hoe @queertwilight @edgyboicullen @lemonadebottlecap @teamjacobthot @edwardsparklehands @leahclearwaterdefensesquad @leahcee @twihards-never-die @twilight-mademegay @the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis @emmettmc-heart-y @bellasredchevy @bellasdumptruckass @jacobsbadwig @jasperwhitcock @fookoff

[fuckmeyer]

@the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis:

HOW FAR ARE YOU WILLING TO GO TO LOVE A MONSTER?

HOW FAR ARE YOU WILLING TO GO TO LOVE A MONSTER IF THE MONSTER IS YOU?

i wish we had seen more done with the symbol of Bella Swan as the lamb. Edward got his "lion & the lamb" scene. i wish there was a point where Bella was reflecting on this with Jacob.

"the wolf & the lamb." how sick it is that the lamb always finds herself in the company of predators. how beautiful it is that the lamb has the courage & tenacity to seek them out.

"the wolf & the lamb." how wise it is that the little lamb who the lion teased for being so delicate uses her softness to cozy up to the warmth of yet another natural-born predator.

"the wolf & the lamb." the lamb has left the flock only to be abandoned by the pride; now, here is the lamb running with the pack as if her claws are just as sharp & her canines sink just as deep.

here is Bella Swan, the "wolf in lamb's clothing."