#anyways come and get yall juice

[musingsofvenus]

“He’s like, the Terminator or something,” Bella says.

Bella is a foul-mouthed, accident prone florist. Jacob is a quiet tattoo artist who opened up his shop across the street.

Read Inked Blossoms on AO3 🌸🐺

@the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis @plainjaniedee @big-idiot-wolf-boys @teamjacobthot

[vero-niche]

pspspsps you wanna watch the hungarian animated movie macskafogó (1986) with eng subs so bad

[preydefiler]

prettiest armpits in the west

[rowanoftheunknown]

“I hope I’ll find all the pieces of my mind that fell out of my head over all those years, and that I’ll be able to put myself together again. I hope the echoes of pain will fade, and memories of sorrow will die, and that you’ll visit me here some day…”

“And I hope you have a happy ending of your own.”

[righteous-r0de0]

working on a young!darlin fic where they’re human born/raised

y’all want a snippet?

breathe if yes, recite the bible in japanese if no

[vowofbrotherhood]

another mcyt crossover au that'll promptly disappear from my head a week after i post it

[if you don't know this game, please have #ghost trick spoilers filtered! and please play the game. also be mindful of spoilers!]

ver. without dialogue box under the cut

[little-bumblebeeee]

Eddie isn't the type to ask what someone is listening to. If they have earbuds in, he'll just pluck one out and put it into his own ear to see.

He stopped that after he took Steve's headphones, thinking it was some pop or Taylor Swift or even music that Eddie would be into.

Turns out Steve does not listen to that stuff

[softluci]

inappropriate everything [mdni plz]

this is probs the most explicit post i’ll ever do, just because i cannot get it out of my head, but um: immediately minors dni. immediately no. IMMEDIATELY no. k thx.

so, um. i have friends who are perfectly sane and normal people until they see an attractive person who they like, be it a celebrity or a character or whoever. right? okay. here are some of the things my friends say when they see someone they find just, like, Absolutely Stunning:

“i’m literally creaming—sorry, i mean creaming—SORRY, I MEAN—” “my back is arching” (alternatively: “why is my back arching?”) “almost meowed” “mmmeow” “purring…” “i’m literally chewing/gnawing on my phone” “my throat feels so empty rn :/” “i want them so bad please i am on my hands and knees BEGGING” “gripping my sheets” “sir your boobs look a little heavy…do you need me to hold them for you?” “bites them bites them bites them bites—” “they are so sexy it’s like a disease” “i want them so bad” “every time i see them i grip my sheets and curl my toes" "they're too fine i want to slam my head into the wall” “just moaned out loud”

anyway. this is gonna be pt 1, w/ just luci; when will i do the others? who knows! i'm returning to the abyss right after this, but enjoy!

lucifer 

he isn’t in the wrong here. you are—why were you on the phone in the kitchen and not your room? what lucifer was doing hardly counted as eavesdropping, really. voices carry in the house as is, and you were being loud. as a matter of fact, he was on his way to tell you to quiet down, and he just so happened to be curious as to what you were talking about, and with whom.

“no, barbatos—don’t fucking laugh, this isn’t funny—” you could hardly speak, trying not to laugh yourself.

eyebrows raising in mild shock, lucifer leaned against the doorway, waiting for you to notice him. thinking about it—lucifer was being very courteous. he could’ve listened to barbatos’s end if he wanted to, but he had enough respect for him to refrain from doing so. he contained his “eavesdropping” to you out of the kindness of his heart and, as a result, he had no idea what—who—you were talking about.

“that man, look—that man. you get it. you get it. you’re the only one around here who knows my heart, i’m telling you.” 

the conviction in your voice stung him, jealousy simmering in his chest. he’d heard enough, he decided, and pushed off the doorway with his shoulder. he stepped towards you in silence, fully intending to interrupt this clearly fruitless conversation—

“lucifer is such a genuine problem, but there’s no solution.”

he stopped, eyes widening. was he a problem for you? why would you go to barbatos instead of him? what—

“that man is so sexy, it's like a disease. no, it—why are you laughing?” your laughter was loud, strong enough to have you leaning against the counter for support. 

lucifer blinked. once, twice, before your words sunk in. then, while you gasped for air, he continued towards you, pride swelling in his chest. a smirk settled onto his face, threatening to widen into a grin as he let you carry on.

you tried to continue talking as best you could, “barbatos, i am in distress—i am dismayed—do you know what i go through when he calls me to his office? do y—i have to prepare myself. i have to steel mys—you don't know what it's like.” you collapsed against the island in a fit of giggles, inhaling sharply to try and catch your breath. 

lucifer heard—because all bets were off now—lucifer heard barbatos in a similar predicament on the other end, chuckling quietly. for barbatos, that was quite close to hysterics. by that point, he'd truly heard enough. more than enough, actually. he thought it best to alert you to his presence, as a courtesy—otherwise, who knows what other secrets you might've spilled? and what if someone less kind heard you? that wouldn't do.

lucifer took a final, soundless step forward, standing close enough that you couldn't turn around without touching him. he reached forward, plucking your d.d.d. out of your hand with ease. you whipped around, and he inched closer, trapping you between him and the counter. “barbatos,” he drawled, grinning at you, “they'll have to call you back. apropos of nothing, of course.” 

perhaps not polite of him, but lucifer hung up before barbatos could respond. although—he imagined his friend was quite amused at the moment. he slid his free hand around your waist, to the small of your back, pressing you flush against him. your heartbeat was erratic—you were so dramatic, it was cute. he slid your d.d.d. into your back pocket, aware of the steady rise in your temperature. he kept his hand on the small of your back, bringing other up to your chin. lucifer enjoys eye contact, you understand, right? now—

“a disease?” he leaned into you, breath ghosting along your face. “that wasn't very nice.”

[colorful-bees]

Hi, can I interest you in more transfemme Silver?

[pand1on]

My personal HC is that Shadow learned how to play guitar from Sonic, so can we get the two playing a duet?

they're playing the new fall out boy

[ohnoitsjetster]

More Orin textposts !! Sorry for everyone who’s feed i am flooding with my foolishness but I promise these are the last ones (unless I decide to make more lol)

[wexhappyxfew]

CARRIE X DOUGIE PIECE TONGIHT?!?!?!?!?!

[stellarstarryyy]

Well her face is a map of the world

Is a map of the world

You can see she's a beautiful girl

She's a beautiful girl

- Suddenly I See • KT Tunstall

[daddytoki]

Fandom: Gintama Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shimura Tae/Yagyuu Kyuubei

Valentine’s Day came and went with little fanfare, because neither Kyuubei nor Otae knew what to do with it. Who was supposed to be The Man in their relationship, anyway? Well, thought Kyuubei, I am clearly the more masculine of us two. I will wait for White Day to roll by, and then I’ll pull some romantic declaration out of my ass that’s so life-changing we get married on the spot. This plan is flawless.  Well, thought Otae, these gender stereotypes are pretty outdated anyway, I wouldn’t want to stick Kyuubei in The Man box against their wishes. The progressive thing to do would be to wait for them to make the first move for White Day and just follow their lead.  Suffice it to say, Kyuubei received zero chocolates on Valentine’s day. Everything went to shit.

[hes-a-tough-kid]

I’ve been thinking a lot about how Spider felt when he hit puberty and started growing facial hair, making him even more different to the Na’vi. I wonder if he hated it.

Also the inherent tenderness of a boy trusting someone else enough to help him shave for the first time… something about it makes my chest hurt. I really tried to capture it in Foreign Body but there’s so much more that I wish I’d left space for.

[milk-motel]

*bangs on pots and pans* ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN, COME GET Y'ALL DANCER WIVES CONTENT