#theyre not very good but im really enjoying being nobody out here

[hes-a-tough-kid]

I’ve been thinking a lot about how Spider felt when he hit puberty and started growing facial hair, making him even more different to the Na’vi. I wonder if he hated it.

Also the inherent tenderness of a boy trusting someone else enough to help him shave for the first time… something about it makes my chest hurt. I really tried to capture it in Foreign Body but there’s so much more that I wish I’d left space for.

[heister-shmeister]

houston in payday 3 upsets me a little

hello chat its been a minute im here to post a take. i dont like houstons design in payday 3.

actual flirting vs harassment

worth mentioning i dont own payday 3 and havent paid a lick of attention to houstons payday 3 voice lines or anything but visually it looks a lot like they took the suave rogue route with his character which is an interpretation but not the one i wanted and frankly not one i find interesting in payday 2 he doesnt look like someone who youd find rob a bank in payday 3 i would feel unsafe in a room with him his unassuming appearance in 2 fits his stealth based skillset practicality is very important to him he doesnt like people touching his things and he is not suave by any meaning of the word i dont think it was intentional that they made him as awkward as he is but "i think i ate too much bran this morning" is NOT suave rogue behavior its not giving james bond mission impossible hes a different kind of stealth he stays out of sight and doesnt like talking to people he lacks charisma but the tuxedo design just makes him look like hes supposed to be manipulating the casinogoers charming security into not minding when he takes a keycard

thats not who he is his whole thing is staying far the fuck away from people and not being seen hes also the mechanic he takes care of the van and keeps it in shape i dont think hed be inclined to care if he got oil on an expensive tuxedo anyway, he steals money bc of poverty and kleptomania(headcanon) not bc of greed and glamour like hoxton but a tuxedo just isnt convenient for being a mechanic also would he really fucking put all that on i dont think so that man would wear an unzipped hoodie, a hawaiian print shirt, a very loose tie, cargo pants on a good day, and the sneakers your dad wears he cares to put on a tie bc his brother cares not because he gives a shit about being seen in a lovely suit and tie

he doesnt care about how hes seen because he wont be seen at all why would he dress up so fancy if his intentions are for nobody to see him in the first place

he looks like i would be afraid to see him on a plane he looks like how he would look if he WAS hoxton there are a couple of things in the new design that i do enjoy

for one his eyes are very similar theyre still very sullen and tired looking which is good but with his angrier looking eyebrows it feels a lot more discomforting

the second thing i like is the addition of the eyebrow slit which loosely supports the headcanon that he lost an eye in prison

[ravewing]

Could you talk about your infection au? I'm invested in it and I've been thinking about it all day

YES HULLO !! i dont want to spoil anything too much and im also working on a field guide sort of thing for the different stages of infection so im gonna try not to talk about those rite neow BUT im so glad that people r enjoying it! so id been seeing these scary mlp infection things ALLL over my tik tok feed for weeks and i was like .. yanno .. itd be really silly if i made this wof .. so i spent like 3 days mulling over what i could make the infection actually BE and i almost made it like the icewing plague but like it went scary but i didnt really know how to keep going with that so then i came up with a super smart idea which turned into this😋i dont wanna say where it started yet cuz ermm lore stuff but i will say that liek in the story the infection doesnt officially have a name yet so everyones just calling it like. the sickness at jade mountain. most of the infected originated IN jade mountain with the first symptoms being noticed in moon and turtle respectively, and then with the icewing students. i cant tell you guys how they got sick bc again . lore ..... but i think that its like kinda possible to find out. but i dunno. vulture and fierceteeth are also sick. there is ONE singular factor that unites these 4 + icewings, which miight b the reason WHY they got sick.kinkajou technically SHOULD be sick but she isnt for another reason that i cant say but if you really look into wof lore then i think u can figure it out idk. the infections transmitted via saliva/blood transmission, so mainly bites. tail barbs of infected sandwings are capable of spreading the sickness. there are 4 stages (5 if you count death) and it takes around 3 to 3.5 weeks for all stages to finish,, by ep3 the sickness has been around for ~2.5 weeks. the only KNOWN cure is amputation of wherever the infected area is,, so MUCH easier in early stages, unfortunate if its on an inconvenient spot, and impossible after hives start spreading. obvi flame had to be important bc i heart flame and i was like .. wait .. hes a healer in canon ...... so that worked out perfectly !! ik that in canon liana is like one of glorys MANY bodyguards but idc shes a healer here bc ermm i said so . also liana and mango r dating but i dont think that its relevant to the plot theyre just girlfriends in my head . as of right now kinkajou and peril are the only known immune dragons, with kinkajou for reasons currently unknown and peril bc . yknow . shes on fire . glory is in close contact with ruby and both kingdoms have taken measures to notify their kingdoms; the rainforest is under a sort of lockdown with rainwings on constant patrol/lookout for outsiders entering, they accept anyone who isnt infected to stay there for refuge while the skywing kingdom is in basically total lockdown other than ruby's messengers. ruby and glory also exchange their respective kingdoms medical knowledge, with the skywings having very good technology and rainwings having an expansive knowledge on medical herbs. nobody has heard from coral- the last thing she did was call for anemone's return back to the kingdom, and once she arrived, they all went underwater and have since then cut all outside contact. the mudwings are aware of the sickness but have so far done nothing about it; moorhen has warned her subjects but thats really it. i havent really decided what the sandwings or the icewings are up to but let me tell you guys its looking really rough for the icewings . so far it looks as though royal icewings are more resilient- tundras currently sick, but the sickness seems to be progressing much slower. this was initially believed to be because of the cold, but then other icewings started getting sick, and so its believed to just be a royal thing- likely something in their genetics. icicle is also sick but shes in stage 4 .. pray for my girl guys. lynx is helping snowfall out the best she can, but with the population getting increasingly sick seemingly spontaneously, its extremely difficult and stressful. the talons have quarantined sanctuary too. ok im outta characters but ya ty 4 the support!!

[fadefromthelight]

Hi fade I'm here to dump wataru hcs and stuff bc we love him and im awkward and he's been up there yelling in my head recently

I went through all of the manga to see since I enjoy being somewhat close to canon and saw he that he never smokes in his car. I feel like he'd be very adamant about nobody smoking in his Levin. He'd wanna baby the interior and keep it nice at least since he seems to care about it alot. He looks like he'd carry around a zippo lighter even tho he's only seen smoking three or four times in all of the manga, he might even collect those too just cuz theyre cool. I love your punk wataru btw!!! I think he'd definitely be into punk/emo/metal but then also just chill out with some calmer music, not sure what but definitely something completely out of the blue. I think that wataru and kyoko are besties, I guess just in my main hc world with keitaru being in mind. They're so fun to play around with like dolls I really wish I had the time to draw wataru as much as you do hehe

omg thank you so much icarus for sharing these pls feel free to share any of your wataru headcanons with me i love to hear them!!

and that's exactly what i headcanoned too! he care about his levin so much and i can't see him damaging the interior like that with the smoke and having to keep the cigarette butts in his car. he probably cleans up the levin pretty often too, it's probably relaxing for him!

and yes he absolutely uses zippos! there are so many cool designs out there and i know for a fact he'd have at least one red one lol. i also had to sketch him with a zippo he looks so cool with one

it makes me so happy to hear that you like my punk wataru! i just think he looks so good in red and black and it just kept on going from there lol. i need to find more outfit inspiration for him!

and i love the headcanon that wataru and kyoko are besties!! I feel like they would get along so well but canon robbed us of that. i need to get better at writing kyoko, i would love to write more stuff with wataru and her. she's such a cool character

[whumpbug]

hi bug, it's tea! could i ask for 💌, 🔪, and 🌲 for Simon and Archie?

HI TEA!!! you ABSOLUTELY can ask for them!

all these questions are so fun OMG im excited to get into it. ok here we go.

💌 — romance/flirting

full disclaimer. both of these guys are kind of disasters at romance. its part of the reason they work together. its Silly.

simon. my sweet, baby, darling simon. he wouldn't know flirting if it decked him square in the face. not only is he unaware of when others are flirting with him, he is also unaware of when he is inadvertently flirting with others. unfortunately, he is Quite gorgeous, and his quiet, blunt, Mysterious demeanor has many people intrigued and attracted to him and he is completely oblivious to it. hell, he's oblivious that archie likes him that way until he straight up says it (which is a fic for the future. not yet. they are still Pining.) he's completely hopeless.

archie is similar but in the opposite way. he is so friend shaped. he sees everyone else as friend shaped too. the idea of romance doesn't even cross his mind when meeting someone, he just gets excited to meet new people. this poses a problem when he is out in the city as Vigil because. well imagine a cute, blonde, bubbly, masked Dude saves you and smiles at you in just that right way. you'd fall in love too. the problem lies in the fact that people just. declare their love to him. right to his face. and archie is just like "aw thanks so much! get home safe!" and Never sees them again. he isn't even aware it was a romantic encounter.

the two together are a seperate thing entirely. they are both painfully, ridiculously aware of their feelings for the other but have NO idea how to express it or what to do about it so they just. ignore it. try to pass it off as a really close friendship. they are fooling no one.

bonus content! their love languages:

simon: acts of service (a surprise to no one)

archie: physical touch and words of affirmation (again, who is surprised)

🔪 — melee weapons

like i mentioned in the previous post, simon isn't really well-versed in any weapons because he is a Simple Civilian Med Student. the only technical melee weapon he is good with is a kitchen knife, he can mince like nobody's business, but tell him to attack? he is fumbling. he can't fight to save his life.

archie doesn't really use weapons in his fighting style either, he focusing on disarming and incapacitating. However. he can and will use a weapon if he really needs to, and his weapons of choice are escrima sticks because theyre effective and relatively non-lethal. he is Very good with them because he practiced them a TON when he was a kid (it was a great way to relieve stress) so yeah! archie weapon lore drop!

🌲 — surviving in the wilderness

im going to answer this as if they were surviving on their own, without the other because. together would be very different.

i think simon would actually be relatively alright on his own. physically, at least. mentally is a different story. but he is a practical guy, and he was an EMT in highschool so he at least knows a lot of emergency first-aid if he were to get hurt. he's cautious, calculated, and i think he'd manage to survive for at least a few weeks on his own with his knowledge of medicine and also just. general stuff

archie would be a different story. i feel like he'd just. panic. he's used to being able to punch his way out of problems and go home to a safe, warm apartment, not being stuck in the middle of nowhere. he is a city boy, through and through. he is not made for the wilderness. he wouldn't last a day. he'd get sad, reckless, and panicked. someone get this boy out of there

thank you so much for the question tea!!!!!!!!! these were so fun especially the first one!!! i hope you enjoy!!!

[saccharinemeat]

What are your opinions on Hfjone ships?

oh fucking man

okay imma get crucified , but here we go. opinion on popular ones + my own rareship

Liam/Bryce

fucking SUCKS. it can only work if you're self aware about how absolutely awful and hurtful liam is,and i feel from what ive seen that the fandom just reduces them to 'omg doomed yaoi' and like, woobifies them. This ship only and only works as one sided,forced and extremely toxic (in my eyes). Bryce deserves better than Liam, and liam relentlessly hurts Bryce down to the very goddamn end (← i say this as someone who is currently fuckin obsessed with liam and self recognizes in him 😐)

Liam/Amelia

I like this one. I feel like theyre pretty good for each other, although, it's sort of a doomed one,in the sense of how it would work only if they were to be in the plane forever. I do feel like Amelia sort of lost herself in the plane forever. If those two ever got out, he'd have to take some charge on their shared recovery and Liam is NOT gonna deal with that well. Still a cute ship,and I like it.

Amelia/Charlotte

...why? this feels like pairing the leftover main characters because everyone is focused on the Boys TM. they dont really have any chemistry,like,even theorically i feel like they wouldn't mesh well,unless you wanna make Amelia basically Charlotte's therapist. But yay, women! i can't be mad about this one,really. I don't mind it

Liam/Airy

Lairy is...complicated, emotionally. I can see it actually being a thing,but it's really in a fucked up way. definitely a 'i hope we both die' kind of pairing. I think about it and it gives me heartache that i cant explain. it hurts because they both are awful in different ways but also they are trying. I will say i do enjoy it but in a way that makes me hurt. lots of angst there. I think this one especially benefits from becoming a ship that happens after moldpack being A thing

Liam/Charlotte

Okay this one is not popular,in fact i feel like nobody but me is into it but theres so much potential here. especially the way they would be so horribly,terrifyingly bad to each other. I can imagine Charlotte getting out instead of Bryce,and how different it all would be. her prideful nature and liam's manipulative tendencies are so deliciously wrong. I feel they would bring the worst out of each other. I have a lot to say about them but like. Consider those first 5 months. Liam was as isolated as Charlotte was,he only sorta rejoined the others in the last two months stretch, and I think they might've interacted during that. And just, Charlotte WOULD be interested in solving the mystery,she would jump on that chance because she needs control and Liam would be elated at first and horrified later and AGH it would be so messy and interesting. please ask me more about moldpack. im the charlotte/liam person number 1 fan now.

and now rapid fire other ships,

Oscar/Bryce - can see it,and i feel like it makes sense within Bryce's trauma streak. I can imagine them bonding and it getting a bit too close

Bryce/Stella - I wish this had more exploration,object shipcest is so insanely rare. I like it

Taylor/Amelia - kinda cute,can see it if taylor stayed in the plane. Especially if it starts as a sort of one sided crush that goes too far

Liam/Owen - this is cute,can kinda see it but only in a no-show scenario (as in, ONE never happened and this is a coworker romance thing)

Charlotte/Parker - it upsets me,but i can see them as having hooked up once and Parker catching feelings while Charlotte is super uncomfortable about it and that explains that weird tension.

Bryce/Amelia - eh. sure? it's cute but i dont care for it a lot. also i dont care for sodacentpack a lot,but it's better than sodapack alone i Guess. get ♣️'d lmao

ALSO, the crackship/crossover with showvember

Airy/Popcorn - NO. piss off the joke is boring and lame and IDK i hate it.

[charlie-artlie]

just got back from the fnaf movie, i really need to go to bed but i have to get some thoughts out NOW 🫠

positives

movey good C:

matthew lillard was just so so good god bless

the animatronics were amazing, i really wasn’t expecting the scene where they all played and had fun together????? it was such wish fulfillment i was just sitting there like is this real

(on that note HEY. someone had better gif that fronnie scene were theyre just playing and dancing together. 👉 get on it giffers)

maybe controversial but i liked the matpat and coryxkenshin cameos a lot they were funny and didnt detract from the flow too much

the jumpscares were not terribly hacky like i thought theyd be, and the balloon boy one was really good 👏

also IM NOT CRAZY THAT WAS A CIRCUS BABY REFERENCE RIGHT??? AAAAAAAAAA

all of the parts and service room was so cool tbh, all of the creepy old endos and parts, the little fetch easter egg, all of it so so good

the easter eggs in general were really fun, im looking forward to watching this movie be micro analyzed for years to come

the springlock scene 🤌 cinema…..

that scene were william roundhouse kicks mike is just like. so amazing. this is going on the positives. i cant believe they did that. what an amazing movie.

in general the lighting and sound design were very nice (i mean as a layperson i thought they were nice idk XD)

THE SONG WAS IN IT THEY DID THE FUCKING THING 😭👏

negatives

no puppet?

i feel like this story suffers from the same issue TSE has, where by straying from the games canon you’ve actually made things so much more complicated? while some things definitely made sense (vanessa being williams daughter was a nice touch and made sense for both characters fight me, also a great nod to how shes mind controlled in game canon) others feel like they just made things more complicated? like, why was garrett just a random kid in a random campsite? why was william there, why did he kill him, why do the ghost kids know him? i guess you could say, if there is a reason, it will be revealed in a later movie? but thats so many unnecessary steps when all you had to do was have garret go missing from a freddys location (like in TSE). like, mikes brothers disappearance is linked to freddys, thats why he needs to work there, you could save a lot of time aunt jane ate up. speaking of.

its such a hilarious plot hole that they just totally move past aunt janes death. like this guy is fighting tooth and nail for custody of his sister against his aunt and she shows up dead at his house and nobody is suspicious or cares. also he shows up at the hospital with a stabbed cop who’s apparently in a coma and cant verify his story at all?? the plot armor on this man!!

i realize they needed to put abby in danger at some point or else why would she even be here, but having the ghost kids want to ghostify her doesnt make a whole lotta sense >_> like they kept saying william was confusing them but they never really showed that, golden freddys spirit kid seemed pretty aware of the situation the entire time.

that one jumpscare with the kid with black goopy eyes was pretty silly lmao. feel like they could have captured the creepypasta vibe better

this is semi positive and negative, but i really really liked vanessa’s creepiness i just wish theyd leaned into it a bit more? that scene where shes staring lovingly up at the animatronics and then asks mike to dance is just so 👌 like girl what is wrong with you fr 🥰 but then her behaviors dont make much sense after that, i was a bit confused as to when she was supposed to be trying to get mike to stay and when she was supposed to be warning him away.

the writing in general was definitely a bit weird ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ eh

sorry if my negatives seem like bummers, but i really enjoy picking apart movies i like, and i tend to like things more when there is stuff to pick apart! (sensory fandom experience…..) in general i really enjoyed the movie and i think most fnaf fans will! it’s fun cheesy horror that has a lot of love for the source material without trying to BE it, which wouldn’t be possible anyway

man theres definitely other things i could say but i really have to go to sleep now 😭 gn!!!

[motherofkittens94]

Ah gee I went to see hozier yesterday and yeah I enjoyed it the music was good but I had such a strange experience right first off this lady pulled me out the queue and put me to the front im used to this part happening and I'm usually kinda glad like yes that’s the one single disability perk right, queue jumping

but also this lady was making me hold her hand which was a bit much like you dont need to do that I can walk but yeah my disability is noticeable i guess and people think theyre doing good but anyway she let me go in ahead and yeah that was great but then I guess she was telling the whole staff about me or something because like literally every other ten minutes some new staff member would corner me ask if I was okay or why I was alone or if was I lost or if I needed help I would say I'm okay not lost im by myself I can manage but then some other person would come later and ask me again if i was okay and if I wanted help and Its like again??

eventually they moved me to the raised platform which is not what i booked ok but fine it is a better view there from thanks but I dont see why people felt the need to be checking me so much i wasnt drunk i wasnt injured i wasn't upset i was not doing anything out of the ordinary nothing that anybody else wasn't also or less even i mean there were very drunk people there and they weren't being asked if they were okay

I mean asking once fine nice even

twice ?understandable but like seven /eight times? Frickin weird leave me alone already I can manage

Like I feel I should be grateful they were helping me and it sort of was and you may think oh but everyone wanted to assist you wouldnt you perfer that? surely worse things could've happened instead you got better treatment thats good right?

Yeah maybe but you know it was going on so often it made me feel self conscious like clearly I was coming off as not normal and /or vulnerable somehow or maybe they didnt believe i was as old as i said i was or idk but i didn't ask for help and didn't really need it either I just wanted to have fun listen to music relax be a regular person like everybody else there

It would've been fine- if i had asked for help - I didn't

Also afterwards they didn't even let me leave until it was nearly empty and then they all waving at me like goodbye sweetie goodbye _like embarrassing how am i ever gonna come back here now after this

and then they made two guys walk with me all down the street because i was going home by myself ive done this same journey a billion times i know what im doing

so anyway thats not even the end of it because next I take the train back and get off my stop someone in the train gets off to ask I'm okay and if I know where to go like yes I'm going home then as I go up the hill this lady is following me annnd then she asks im okay and if i need help as well!

what do you think I'm doing!

like what the hell is wrong with me tonight that nobody thinks I'm okay? I don't know what you think is wrong whats the matter with me huh? I can't work out what I did that made everyone so concerned except just being there

I was by myself fair- i guess if someone was with me all this wouldn't have happened and yeah im a loser and i go to events by myself sometimes so what? its not illegal though is it im twenty eight not bloody five i literally live there I don't need help walking around im not lost I dont need you to pretend to befriend me I did not need help

Maybe i took this all the wrong way because yeah they wanted to help but it felt like every single person was singling me out and letting me know they think I'm strange and that I cant cope

Uncomfortable!

This is what i get for trying to do normal gal activities I guess

[1-talk-alot]

I know I know I know I said I wouldn’t rant about this topic again but be fr you didn’t know that and I didn’t care because that’s what I’m doing

Soooooo codenames yeah whatever this might be a longer rant than normal bcs im actually talking about 2 in one topics and the first one in friends! From a couple years ago

I need a few more codenames soooo

S - known her for 9 years uhhh shes really cool even though I dont see her very often anymore I also used to have a crush on her (little bit of lore you didn’t know I bet)

W - known her for 8 years shes also really cool

That’s it

OK this is a throwback to the times where everything was so different and im analysing why because I’m bored ig

S used to be one of my best friends, uhh along with H, W, and A (the only reason I gave them codenames was so I could write this sentence but they’re not in any stories or anything) and like I didn’t have any major friendship issues until the last couple years of my life and my mental health (which is not a topic I would like to cover right now) was also a lot better, like sure a lot of things were still shit but all in all I was happier yk? Then covid happened which wasn’t the biggest setback in my life but it’s definitely there and I can’t blame it all on my next point because there’s no way covid didn’t do anything to me

I think the whole being in my room 24/7, chronically online, bored and tired thing allll started there I think it as really subtle, I didn’t realise at the time, but my perspective on life, my average social battery, dare I say my patience all started to fall then (slowly but surely) I became irritable, I became used to frequent mood swings, I isolated myself for the heck of it, I didn’t go outside and I didn’t enjoy what I used to before and as if it wasn’t all slowly going downhill then, which I’m sure I would’ve gotten better if I’d had more time, uhh then I went to secondary and I was like shot down after the first month or so

If you were to ask my why I wouldn’t be able to give you an answer because my memory is so foggy (after reliving the same week 52 weeks in a row youd understand) I don’t see any specific differences, I know I stopped hanging out with A but nothing personal happened we just had different friendgroups and I think in year seven, nothing good ever happens in year seven, but nothing ever last either and I think my biggest issue was just time management and i don’t really stress over that anymore because icl about detention

In year eight however

So I had a new friendgroup right erase all the dudes from yr7, uhhh I actually really miss being i’s best friend because when I was every day was a lot more bearable but it’s okay we’re still friends, welcome L, E, and M!!!!!!!!!!! (wooooo) L and E i could easily talk about but it would be all positive so I’m not going to, Ik y’all aren’t here to watch a teenager talk about how happy she is, nobody tunes into that

Que topic 2! (It’s a continuation of topic one but onto the second stage of life aaand probably the last let’s be real)

So you might’ve noticed how I failed to include M when I said it would all be positive. That’s bcs it isn’t (plot twist) I could go on for ages but I’ve already done like 4 rants about this guy (and three of them are gone since I got T worded!) so instead I’m just gonna talk about recentl

TODAY !!!!!!!!!!!!! Today was shit honestly

Period once science uhhh idk if M thinks I’m too stupid to notice or if they think I won’t care about the way theyre suddenly treating my fp (/p)???? I know this isn’t my fight, I’m just talking over here but they’re not exactly trying to hide how dryly and reluctantly they reply? You’ve done so much shit and now you think you’re entitled to start acting like you’re the one being tired out. Kind of like a sexist boyfriend who hits his girlfriend, then when she leaves is like “well- i-I didn’t like you anyway!” To hide his fragile masculinity? Kind of like that yeah

Anyways ummm I could keep this professional but I’m better at voicing my argument if I sound like I’m just going batshit crazy speaking to that person and yelling at them so excuse me for the 2nd person, im still talking about M

One, how the fuck are you such a fucking narcissist??? You know it full well and you’re even proud of it and it makes me sick

Two, when I first became your friend I did think you were funny and that changed drastically because you’re just?? All your jokes consist of making fun of people insecurities, speaking in a cringe anime voice or using unfunny brain rot terms ‘ironically’ and sometimes it’s just so uncalled for like come on

Three, I just know that you think you’re at the “top” of this friendgroup. You think you can shittalk multiple people behind our back and we just won’t notice, you think your the only one with unspoken opinions and you don’t see past our very first trait. This was almost confirmed when you referenced L’s whole personality being hilariously stupid jokes and just ‘running around’. How blind do you even have to be??

I have multiple other things that annoy me but I can’t think of a way to put them into this rant so I’m just gonna list them now bcs i cba I just wanna get this done

• the way you obnoxiously played the full volume audio right in my ear today and didn’t it move until I did it for you

• the way you think I’m gullible enough to believe your simple lies

• the way you get so close to my face at times for like no reason like come on just don’t do that

•the way you only want to talk to me when you’re in the mood or when you need help and think I’ll just be there at your service

• the way you try to stop me from talking to E like when they were in the music rooms and I was gonna go and you kept stopping me stalling

•I know it sounds selfish but the way you’re stealing my inside jokes then being like “wdym I always did that that was my thing”

Uhhh that’s it ig? I’m not proofreading this so whatever uhhh im gonna go this way now bye

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

[lovestrucksuggestion]

hey op um, im a bit conflicted? i just, i confessed to my crush a year ago and they didnt really reply properly? i mean, they did say "they wouldnt reject me, of course" since we both liked each other a few years back but dispersed when i moved. but they did also say that they wanted time to form themselves first properly before jumping in any kind of relatipnship and yeah, i get that.

its just, maybe im just impatient but do i have to do something, anything at all? obv we still talk but sometimes i do feel like im the only one pushing for it and maybe theyre annoyed now even with me just talking to them- i know thats partly my anxiety talking, but still :(

i went a bit off topic there but do i really have to do anything, or is there something i can still do besides talking to them and being there cause i feel like at this point if theyre ready they have to be the one to confess right? like i dont have to update them, "hey i still like u, remember that?"

at the same time if they dont like me, i want them to just tell me cause, i kinda still want self preservation yknow askdlfsgqoaudn thank u in advance i understand if u dont wanna answer im just really conflicted abt this

I think you absolutely have the right instinct here with letting them be the one to tell you if they're ready. You've done your part and let them know your feelings, if they want to be in a relationship, they should let you know that because if you bring it up a lot it may come across as being pushy and nobody wants that in a partner.

It sounds like you're friends with this person, and assuming you like being around them and interacting with them, I think you should just enjoy the relationship where it is! I have been in this situation, in fact, I am very in love with one of my dear friends, which we've talked about. He doesn't feel like a long distance relationship would really work out, which is fine, I loved being his friend before I was in love with him and I still do now, you know?

What you shouldn't do is put your life on hold for this person. If your feelings fade while you're waiting for them or you find someone new, don't hold out for something that might not ever happen, because that's a quick way to get your heart broken. If you date, great! If not, you still have a good friend and you didn't tie your whole life and happiness to this possible relationship.

(And if you really must ask them for an update, just to get closure on the whole thing, please make it clear that you're not pressuring them at all)

[stariwrites]

👀👀👀👀 Ship your moots

Alright I’m putting this under a readmore because I’m going to try and include all of my moots so let’s see how I do. They’re going to be split up half and half so this is the first half. I’m determined also I may have gone overboard but it’s chill

Edit: adding more here!

@dabitdabi Keigo for sure, they’d be so powerful it would be insane😩, he’d be so cute and flustered and Cheshire is such a sweetheart he’d practically drop everything for her if she needed it. The type of couple who compliment each other, she’d remind him to take care of himself and make sure he knows that shes somebody he can depend on/talk to at the end of the day. And he’ll take care of her too, make sure he remembers her favorite food, flower, blanket you name it he’ll remember.

@sleepyrintaro (ik you’re on a hiatus love but I wanted to include you too) Kuroo, another absolute unit. When I tell you they’re both geniuses and when they’re together they’re either the most intelligent people or have one brain cell shared and there’s no in between, there’s no in between. Rin is amazing and is so kind/has such a big heart the two of them would have so much fun together and be so fun to be around. Kuroo would love hearing about psychology and it would basically turn into talking about hyperfixations going back and forth.

@rukunas Sukuna hands down. Rue is so sweet and has the best vibes and I feel like Sukuna would be drawn to that. The soft but only for you trope definitely comes into play here. Sukuna would look so intimidating and tease Rue but then get flustered half way through. King of curses or not he can be really intimidating one minute but as soon as you need him he’s instantly like ‘what’s wrong baby what happened?’ (Basically the Gordon Ramsey with kids vs with adults comes into play here).

@kkodzvken Dabi or Toga, Lune is a sweetheart and I feel like both Dabi and Toga would look at them and instantly think ‘I want to protect them.’ This relationship would be very cute in its own way because they’d all watch out for each other. Dabi would smile so fondly it would be a crime, but if he’s ever called out on it he would 100% deny it and you can’t convince me otherwise. He’d let Lune wear his coat around if they wanted to. With Toga, she’d do skin care (if you wanted to) and would adore shopping dates! Loves cuddling and just snuggling up to you too!

@katslutski I cannot stress this enough: Nanami Kento. They both value independence and Nanami would take care of you if you needed it. He’d love chilling and watching movies or reading quietly with Kat and nobody can convince me otherwise. Slow dancing in a kitchen would be a must at least once. They’d have separate apartments but spend a lot of time at the others. He’d send texts from time to time asking how she is and would enjoy making dinner together with her. Nothing relaxes him more than the time they have together. Kat is so fun to talk to and is honestly amazing and so is Nanami so they would for sure have the best convos too.

@pupimouto Chuuya hands down. Babi is honestly amazing and Chuuya would be so enamored. He’d also have the thought of ‘Must protect.’ Adores her, the red and pink aesthetic for sure. He’d get into a fight if anybody looked at her the wrong way. If there’s a bad day he’d be there to hold her close to her and reassure her and if she kisses him or holds his hand/tells him she loves him? Gone he has ascended, he’ll smile for the rest of the day.

@oilivia Oikawa. Liv deserves the best and who is Oikawa if he doesn’t provide? Their relationship is super fun, he’d listen to her playlists and playfully tease her a bit but it’s all in good fun. (He makes sure not to go too far and cross a line) the type of relationship where they both bicker playfully, but also have really deep convos. They also balance each other out and help each other to either break out of their shell or relax and just focus on the present. Communication between them is amazing, they make it look so easy. Both of them are able to confide in the other knowing it’s a safe space and there will be no judgement. Oikawa also loves to fluster her in public by calling her cute pet names.

@bakugohoex Jean Kirschtein, they’re able to be independent but also comes together. The best friends before being lovers type of thing. Ria is amazing and Jean would be there to hang out with her and makes sure to call her beautiful everyday. He adores the little domestic moments the most and would love hearing about her day and would check in throughout the day with ‘Hey baby how are you doing?’ Attentive and he’s a very good listener. They’d both work so well together! He seems like the type to theorize movies and so they’d both exchange their own and see who’s closer to what’s actually going on.

@chaos-night *deep inhale* ATSUHIRO SAKO please they’d be so perfect I’m not even kidding! He’d take up ballroom dancing lessons so they could dance in the kitchen and their relationship would be so soft and wholesome. Chaos is a wonderful person and is a great listener as well as fun to talk to so they would both revel in each other’s presence. Atsuhiro would shower her in praise all the time. He’d adore her so much and everyday would fall a little more in love with her. King of romantic dates whether it’s extravagant or just hanging out and watching movies either way he adores it. Will hold her close to his chest as they sleep whispering how much he loves her and how lucky he is to be with her.

@raes-still-rambling the sweetest I can’t even articulate. Tamaki Amajiki they would work so well together. He’d find so much comfort in them. His favorite would be if they just cuddled together and watched a movie. He isn’t big on romance but he’d put his all into it regardless. Loves holding their hand and would smile softly whenever he sees her. They’d definitely have a cuddling playlist and he’d show them he loves them through small actions

@m-mortimer Christa and Ymir 100%. Izzie has such a big heart and I feel like she’d fit into this dynamic so well! They’d both take care of her, Ymir has strong mommy dom energy and would make sure both her girls are doing well. They would all live the cottage core lesbian dream I guarantee you. Would dance around and just have a lot of laughs together, making flower crowns would be an absolute must. They’d all take care of each other and would help if any of them got into a bad headspace. This relationship would feel like a home.

@deludedimagines Levi Ackerman, Sorcha has to be one of the coolest people ever and who better to match that energy than Humanity’s Strongest. Their relationship would be comfort. Both of them would find solace in each other whether it be making tea late at night to playing games in the morning. The two of them would work so well together, completely content to dwell in the comfortable silence they’ve created. They’d also clean together with soft music playing in the background and Levi can’t get enough of it. Their relationship is full of understanding one another. The phrase/lyrics “Life is not the things that we do it’s who we’re doing them with” very much applies here.

@fuwushiguro Toji Fushiguro no questions asked. The most interesting and fun relationship ever, Venus is a goddess and is so kind/compassionate Toji would start out being like ‘I have no intention of falling in love’ and then before he knows it he’s in love. Would protect her no matter what, they would have amazing stories. Their life would be like a movie. He’d hold her and in the soft moments tell her how much he loves her and how he feels complete with them together. He’s the type to use action instead of words so if he sees her sad? He’s off to get ice cream and put on her favorite comfort movie. He grumbles about her making him soft but when she just gives him a smile and says he likes it he can’t help but smile fondly, he can’t argue with that.

@fushigurocockslut Mahito, they too have a fun relationship. Tessa is one of the chillest people I’ve ever had the joy of knowing and her and Mahito would be so chaotic im living for it. They share one brain cell and it’s to wreak total havoc, both of them have the friendship dynamic down to the point where people have to ask if they’re dating or just close friends. Mahito loves spending time with her and they both would absolutely prank the hell out of Nanami. Also they’d find/have the coolest hang outs to chill and listen to music, eat snacks and vibe. Although they may be chaotic they’d also have really chill moments where they would just relax and stargaze. The two of them could talk about everything and anything.

@doinmybesthere Shoto Todoroki. Emme has a huge heart with so much love and she deserves to receive all that love back and more. Shoto is not big on pda, but behind closed doors he loves intimacy. In the quiet moments of just waking up he’d kiss her forehead with a groggy ‘Good morning love’ their dynamic is ‘Two sweethearts in a room they might love each other unconditionally’ and then they did. Slow dancing in the kitchen? Absolutely. Shoto is also attentive and adores Emme’s beautiful singing voice, on bad nights he loves nothing more than to feel her fingers in his hair and hear her voice as he drifts off. If the roles are reversed he holds her to his chest and hums softly while rubbing soothing circles against her back. Their relationship is wholesome and they bring out the best in each other.

@izukine Takemichi for sure. Both would try and protect the other and they’d both be flustered by the other since they’d both of the thought process of ‘Theyre so cute my heart feels like it’s about to burst’ Liyah is so friendly and awesome and I feel like Takemichi would be drawn to that. Whether it be walking around or just chilling both of them would just like the time they spend together. Every time Takemichi sees her he instantly perks up and has a cute smile on his face. Their relationship holds solid communication and trust.

@cupcake-rogue Bakugou Katsuki without question. King of making sure Star is taken care of and has a soft spot for her. Everybody makes fun of him for it, but he doesn’t care. Star would mean the world to him and knowing that he comes home to see her face would relax him and keep him calm. He loves holding her in his arms and if she runs her fingers through his scalp he’s gone. Instantly falls asleep. Uses actions over words so he’ll make sure he has her favorite foods/drinks stalked in the fridge. If he notices it’s a bad day he’ll ask how he can make it better. The two of them would have a relationship that’s all about care.

@nomadmilk Kirishima Eijirou both of them take care of each other and have so much fun together. Matching outfits? Sure. Cute couple photos? Absolutely! They’re the definition of couple aesthetic/goals. Love being affectionate, it doesn’t matter if they’re in public or not. Kirishima will constantly praise Noma and be like ‘that’s my baby!’ Whenever you do something. He loves supporting you and if you ever comfort him/do the same he’ll be so happy. Loves to hold and cuddle Noma a lot. Both of them together would radiate so much love they both deserve wonderful things.

If I didn’t get to you this round just you wait cause tomorrow is part 2

[cainightfics]

hii! excited for new chapter of trotw soon, i know you update slower than most but the wait is always so worth it with how long your chapters are! im curious: how do you find motivation to write so much? youre well known in 2 fandoms that are very small/inactive, so i imagine it might be hard to find motivation sometimes. i also write fic, but i get discouraged easily when i dont get many hits

thanks for the ask! im sorry i update slowly—i wish i could update more frequently, but i have 2 jobs and am also currently a student, so i dont always have a lot of time. i like doing longer chapters because, like you said, it makes the long wait easier to bear for anyone reading, but also because i feel like i plan the plot more carefully this way, if you know what i mean? with longer chapters, i can sort of think of them as episodes, so 1) each chapter progresses the plot, and isn't just fluff and 2) some new milestone is reached relationship wise. like in the last chapter, for instance, it starts with tyrell and elliot in bed, and tyrell internally complaining about how un-affectionate elliot is. then tyrell does a crazy stunt to get elliot to admit he cares about tyrell (ie, threatening to shoot himself in the head, lol), so that the chapter ends with tyrell and elliot in bed, again, but this time, elliot is rattled by what has occurred over the course of the chapter, and actually physically responds when tyrell makes a move on him.

as for motivation... idk, i actually just like writing a lot i guess, lol. i feel like i mentioned this once before on here, so im sorry if im repeating myself, but fanfic gives me something to think about during the boring parts of my day, when im on the bus or washing dishes or whatever. actually, significantly large portions of trotw have been written in my phones notes app during my morning commute.

i dont really care about getting lots of hits and attention for my fics. as long as a few people enjoy reading them, im happy. im very grateful that people take the time to comment and send me asks—seriously, it does make my day sometimes. but just knowing someone is out there reading my fics, maybe before bed after a long day, or during their lunch break at their job they hate, is good enough for me. i grew up on fan culture (ive been on this site since i was 11!) so fanfic has always been really special to me as a reader.

i know its easier said than done, but once you move past worrying about how many kudos/hits/comments you get, writing is way more enjoyable. i think capitalism often demands that we either monetize or quantify our hobbies. part of this has to do with the current climate of entertainment, which i see people often refer to as the "attention economy." getting lots of hits/kudos = success, because enough people cared about your fic to invest their attention into it, when so many other entertainment options are available. to me, this isnt the point of fanfic. i feel like fic is about community. being passionate enough about something that you're inspired to create a derivative work, then share it with others, with no attempts to earn profit or fame involved, is a very special thing these days, when we're made to believe all activities should have the end goal of making money. i think everyone who wants to should write fanfic, even if they think theyre bad at it, or worry that nobody will read it. being creative is always good for you.

anyways, thanks as always for reading my fics! im happy youre enjoying them. and good luck in your own writing, too!

[actualbird]

// spoilers for symphony of the night in bulk and also reactions

mc, girl, i REALLY think you should check on your childhood best friend who is ALSO a very skilled hacker who ALSO is a self sacrificial doofus. because uh. not only does he have the capability to do this. but also. THE WORRYING ON AND OFF DESIRE TO DO THIS.

thats a VERY interesting description of ur business place. ive been playing around with a fake-out makeout fic idea occurring in the abyss. something ala "oh no we were caught investigating secret codes in the hallway leading to the back exit!! QUICK, KISS ME!!! AND DO IT IN A WAY THAT WILL MAKE EVERYBODY WHO SEES FEEL SO AWKWARD THEY CANT QUESTION US!!!!" cue passionate makeout both parties RIDICULOUSLY ENJOY to the point that they, for a moment, forget that theyre doing this as a ruse.

if that aint "dreams come true" well...

bar owner having witnessed the nxx investigation team in various permutations kissing each other stupid For The Case: ...is this...a thing for you guys? im not bothered but DO GET A ROOM...

(and yes, for those curious, this is a marluke fic idea. im on a mission here to populate the marluke ao3 tag one fic at a time)

marius' expression when he was saying this.....it was the I Don't Like This, This Is Sad And It's Hurting My Heart expression and i just....

1) it REALLY pulls at my heartstrings how BIG everybodys hearts are, in this team. theyre focused and can put emotions aside to get the job done but theyre all also so driven by human stories. they want to stop tragedies somehow all the time, and if the tragedy has already been written, theyre all willing to do whatever it takes to make sure it cant happen again. luke always says that mc hates bad endings. shes in good company though, in this team. all of them hate bad endings.

2) back to marius particularly just. uGH. this is my marluke brainworms jumping out but i am TAKING NOTE of how intensely upset marius is at the concept of a person willing to sacrifice themself for the benefit of other people. marius understands why types of people like this exist but i know in my HEART that he wants to make the world so that those people Dont Have To Be Like This.

what kind of world is so cruel that the best thing somebody can do is with their life is...leave it?

HONEST TO GOD, THIS MADE ME CRY. COME ON, TOT. WHY. WHY DO THIS TO ME??? not only did you throw medilla into my face but u tell me he created his AI with the same "purpose" because the life he lived was just so fucking goddamn lonely

im crying again, shut up, dont look at me, im very easy to bring to tears

//zak continues crying his eyeballs out

PLEASE and the fact that medilla had really really bad social anxiety. the world he loved was one he struggled to be a part of, one that existed in a manner that was hostile to him. so much of his actions were him at the sidelines doing good that nobody will ever ever know about.

the team promised both him and lilith that theyd witness the end of notro and centipede but god. GOD. i dunno, man! their story and dedication does live on in the minds and hearts of five people but it's breaking my heart,

these characters who lived their lives as a whisper because the world is too loud

and not many people are willing to listen

//zak CONTINUES CRYING HIS EYEBALLS OUT

ALL IN ALL: sotn event story was VERY GOOD. gameplay was fun as hell but i think Media Journalist is entitled to financial compensation for being our debate punching bag this entire time. but yes the story was WONDERFUL. pacing was nice since each day kept suspense going but also gave us enough that i felt satisfied with each chunk and jus the Overall Themes hit me hard like a brick to the face.

i have to eat breakfast now and think about all of this intensely and also yoink a BUNCH of story themes from this to season future writing contents

[fukurodaze]

can i have (timeskip?) kuroo with a fem! s/o who is a sophisticated introvert that intimidates people because she doesn't smile or talk much but when she's with friends she's actually really nice, funny and outgoing, and she has really good fashion sense? (i'm sorry if this is too specific lmao you can ignore this i'm just yearning for kuroo HAHAHAHA)

this is so funny because this dynamic is literally THE cutest

so you know how kuroo works in pr right so this is The Office Romance Of The Century

the meeting <3

so kuroo works on the ninth floor and you work on the twentieth floor

though you guys work in different departments, you guys are both around the same age so you guys kind of have the same workloads because yall are still starting

different departments eventually do have different schedules, but as newbies you guys kind of follow one (1) basic timetable that is really just 9 to 5

one thing you never expected about the office: good ass food.... like you thought the bread at your school canteen was good? wait till you find the sandwiches on the fourth floor

and since you quite literally have no friends in this big ass building and there aren’t many co-workers who are your age you kind of hold onto the nice yakiniku sandwiches on the fourth floor

it gets rough in a new workplace for the first time ://

so the sandwiches become your routine - around 5-6pm, you’re coming down a whole sixteen floors otw home but also to get that nice thick yakiniku sandwich

guess who else comes? 

YA GUESSED IT!! UR FRESH OUT OF COLLEGE KUROO TETSUROU!!!

despite telling himself that he’s really easing into the work life well because his senpais tell him he’s smart, he really doesn’t know anyone

he also finds it weird asking his co-workers to drink as he feels like they should be the ones inviting him so he ends up just chillin it out with some surprisingly good sandwiches downstairs

he likes the chicken ones bc they’re just so nice n crispy yay

he kinda feels shit about it sometimes but thats just how it is huh... corporate work... no friends... and all the rest of his friends r like in other places... yeah

ay but at least he finds this cute girl ordering the same thing over and over again at the same time he’s there

he ignores it at first but you know the saying that the more you see someone the more likely they become more attractive in your eyes?

yeah... that’s kuroo @ u...

and usually he’s doesn’t really pay no mind to people who just do their own business

but your fits r just too cool for this workplace... like mans has been coming to work with suits and youre out here with some combo streetwear power suit... sometimes u wear the highest heels and sometimes you wear the chunkiest sneakers but still manage to look so sleek n sophisticated like 24/7

could it be... he finds you... attractive??? even though you don’t smile much?

kuroo doesn’t stall, so he just goes “i like your style”

my my... you love hearing that dont’cha

but u were like “thanks” 😐

he’s like sheesh

and as he’s about to leave you ask, “what department do you work in?”

kuroo does a double take and is like “um... PR...?” he literally looks over his shoulder to see if you’re talking to anyone else because yo... is this you showing interest???

spoiler alert this is the introduction to his chapter in your love life <3

look it’s not hard for kuroo to get along with quieter people because he used to be siiiiilent, and he’s also grown up with kenma, who was much more introverted throughout middle school and high school

god, you felt so comfortable

and he was SO hot.... WTF

but yeah you’re always like 😐 but make it chic because your fits r fire and your eyeliner SLAYS

this may or may not have turned into a little date at the bar nearby

yes the sandwiches are good but you know what’s even better? drinking some good food in tokyo as Official Employees of the Japanese Volleyball Association

this night was pretty flirty, what can u expect... compliment here, hand brush there, cute laughs n chuckles everywhere

hahaha when kuroo saw you laugh and get super talkative... is that a turn on or what... youre also like funny too??? oh cmon...

safe to say you said yes when he asked you out again, and he swears he would do anything to see you laugh again 🥰

and yes, he does see that laugh again. a lot of times, actually.

the relationship <3

first off: he likes seeing u all professional... good food 

second: him in a suit??? yessir. him making connections??? YESSIR

you guys end up hanging around a lot with each other at the office even when you’re busy. and yknow, since it’s the honeymoon phase, might as well sneak a kiss. or a lot of kisses.

people get so surprised when this happens at first, since theyre like... why r they both disappearing 24/7... they cant be going together bc hes... kuroo... and you’re... you... aren’t you guys are supposed to be DIFFERENT??

he always goes heart eyes for u even though it seems like you’re always shooting daggers at him from everyone else’s pov

eventually, as you two get more comfy with each other and spend more time, you find yourself at his place like 4 days out of 7... his place is closer to the office anyways so it’s just convenient especially when you’re busy with your department when kuroo isn’t, and it demands later nights and earlier mornings

when BOTH of you are busy... expect stress makeouts in the kitchen

the way yall would shower together not because of sexy vibes but because yall both overslept and literally have no time 😭

but that doesn’t mean yall dont enjoy it!! u think he’s hot, he thinks you’re hot, works well (you two still end up arriving late)

eventually people see how you guys walk to work together in the mornings a lot... and go home together a lot... and drink at bars together...

and they’re like holy fuck how did kuroo snatch her... like other than the fact that he’s hot... she literally doesn’t smile and is so scary

the sandwiches on floor four have become breakfast burritos because none of yall go home at 5 all that often anymore

but on a lucky day where destiny aligns itself with the stars and time and the volleyball league you’re lucky to get a yakiniku. or maybe chicken.

you guys influence each other, and it’s so funny seeing kuroo come in with some more colourful suits after you told him to experiment with colour

the other people at work r like: kuroo ur gf controls u

kuroo’s like yeah she’s like powerful huh 😏

you kind of laugh it all off, since now you have your own friends at work too, and so does kuroo

they surprisingly ask a lot about your relationship... and though you would like to brag about your very good boyfriend, you keep it pretty vague

you do like to talk about important days though, like anniversaries

but being with kuroo has genuinely made you more comfy in the workplace even though yall are in different departments

you love hearing kuroo’s stories about his co-workers, and you wondered if you could kind of have those kinds of relationships with your co-workers too

your closest co-workers have always been kind to you, albeit intimidated at first

but they’re great shopping buddies, great listeners, and great gossips <3

you normally wouldn’t care about gossip but it’s fun to laugh about sometimes when you’re getting ready for bed and he’s like “by the way... have you heard of [person A] doing ... ” on call

and you’re like oh yeah, actually i have

even he’s surprised at first because you seem like that cool introverted employee but you do have your fits of laughter and bouts of humour

you guys become more comfy with your jobs, and before you know it, a year has passed

you’ve moved in lol

kuroo’s just 100% heart eyes for u pls

the vibes you guys are as a couple?? immaculate. everyone looks at yall like holy fuck. opposites attract and it’s HOT

and it’s so good because you guys know each other so well, from personalities to bodies to work

when you’re on a low, he holds you close and tells you such sweet things, but makes sure to give you space

when he’s on a low, you make sure to talk to him to take him off of his thoughts, to reassure him

kuroo kind of realises he’s actually... like REALLY in love with you and it just hits him a week before christmas when he looks into his cupboard and hates how it’s so messy but ends up swooning 😭

so the next day LIKE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING he’s like “hi. im renting a car. and i am in love with you. do you wanna go on a christmas trip together?”

you don’t even react when he says that... it’s just two seconds of silence and then “okay. i’m in love with you too.”

he’s like “cool. cool.”

proceeds to smother ur lipstick when he kisses u right after work... 

but u love him anyway 🥰

and in that trip... just you two in a strange place together... with nobody else...

he sees you with him for a long, long time

and honestly, with the feeling of his hand in yours, you don’t think you’ll be going anywhere either.

[pwurrz]

have a good nap! ok i wanna preface by saying a lot of what i "defend" kizami with is both either projection, speculation or both. COPA is kinda a mess and likes being vague and occasionally shitty and ablest and whatnot. mmy defense is that kizami's writing is both misunderstood and just... plain ablest. also none of this is because we have a kizami in our system he is a cool and chill dude whos been here sense forever, however he left front like 2 months ago. this is gonna be written without talking ab system stuff and with a collective "i".

I want to start early canonically in his life. He does not have a good relationship with his parents and siblings which is just said outright to be a delusion that he is always being lied to, and when they say they care about him, that he thinks theyre lying to get him vulnerable. However, I want to go farther as to say he may be somewhat rational in this sentiment. In book of shadows, the flashback he has to his siblings has them lash out both emotionally and physically at him for harming animals. This is left unaddressed. As someone who struggles with thoughts to hurt animals and paranoia I kinda felt for him, with a lot of pent up fear, its easy (especially at a young age) to change fear into anger. he felt trapped and probably projected that fear into outward aggression. he also was left in the shadow of his siblings, struggling with getting attention, and when he did it was either because he acted out or what he assumed was lies, he would have grown up in a household where he learned social behavior was synonymous with aggression. he was also taught that violence is the answer when someone does something that upsets him.

moving foreword to his implied early school life, i want to say i dont think he was telling the truth when he said kensuke was never his friend. i want to say that so soon after discussing his fears others arent honest with him about caring at all, and his paranoia connected to relationships because i think that statement is clearly connected. ill get onto that later. Its mentioned he was violent towards students and staff, as well as more open about his tendencies to hurt animals. However, for some reason even direct talks about this doesnt harm his relationship with kensuke. the continue being friends even as kizami makes questionable decisions that lead his parents to somewhat fear interacting with him at all.

so this becomes interesting, because while the wiki states he did this as a manipulative front on purpose, i dont remember where anything EVER said that was true, but kizami seems to have mellowed out by highschool. when asked about him, kensuke speaks fondly of him, and apparently he isnt the subject of gossip, and nobody really has anything bad to say about him, even though he assaulted a kid in elementary with school supplies. he seems to have become of grounded and centered, which once again, yeah i felt that it was the same way for me in school. after facing fear on that level for so long, you just develop this "i dont care anymore. i cant care anymore." heavyheartedness where things dont really scare you anymore. thats just what paranoid disorders do. speaking of his mental health, kizami says in a self monologue he has never had empathy. while im sure this is just an ablest thing they wrote in to make him scarier considering hes supposed to be a "sociopath" as someone with ASPD... i took that personally. having a paranoid disorder as a child is very traumatizing, adding that with the re-enforcement of his fears, its plausible to say yuuya is antisocial, at least from my standpoint of an antisocial person.

early on in their exploration of heavenly host, yuuya is the rock of the group. he is rational, calm in the face of panic and danger, and doesnt even bend as low as to get in petty fights, even when threatened by kai. However ,its safe to say he isnt *enjoying* any of this, and is just not portraying panic like anyone else. He plays the part of the listener and doesnt talk a lot, hes probably somewhat shut down and tired from the shock of the situation. This is where the bad decisions start.

Yuuya kicks ryosuke down the stairs in a last ditch attempt to get ohkawa to stop mindlessly panicking and prove hes dead. this is just outright said, and is canonically the others misunderstanding him. he makes a bad decision under pressure, and in return, gets a punishment that doesnt make sense to him. this is where i bring in the idea that yuuya falls victim to the curse of the school, rather than having done all the murdered consciously, and that he has been effected more and more the longer he had been staying so far. while this is brought up in ohkawa's death, where he says he isnt even yuuya anymore, i offer this extra evidence.

yuuya genuinely enjoys working with kids.

he states he wished he had been an older brother, that if he had a younger sibling he would make a point to do a better job than his older siblings did. he wants someone to protect and watch over, which is why i think undoubtedly, the factions of the possessed kizami are entirely not his own, rather twisted, perhaps even opposite actions of his beliefs. he makes an effort to hurt yuka, which is entirely against his own personal moral code. he says kensuke was never his friend. hes loud, and makes a show of himself. he makes an effort to kill anyone who crosses paths with him. (except morishige, i guess. but thats a whole can of worms. im trying to stay centered on his own school) even though from what we have seen from a highschool kizami, he seems withdrawn, quiet, mindful of other's injuries and generally more afraid of what others think of him than anything else.

i dont want to go on for too long, but i want to say something even though it sounds gross to me. i hate to sound like those stupid school councilors i hated so much, but yuuya is genuinely relatable and i think he could have had it a bit better if he had some kind of hobby to put his energy into. instead of anyone giving him time, and teaching him how to use his emotions in a way that didnt hurt others, they literally struck him, and removed him from their life as much as they could. when hurting people for attention stopped working, he became lost. leading up to the even i would say, he probably felt tense, and considering kensuke is popular in highschool, probably was worried he was losing his only friend. and i dont know how to paint that kind of worry from a pro-social standpoint, because im not one, but he probably felt angry others were spending more time with him, seeing kensuke as "HIS" friend. its not healthy, but im not saying yuuya was. i dont think he had a good mindset, or was healthy with his interactions ,what few genuine ones we see, but i do argue that theyre not entirely his fault. his parents found it easier to ignore him, his siblings resorted to hostility, when he tries to help he is faced with fear and hatred. it would be stupid to say in that moment he wasnt also panicked, he just wasnt showing it in a way other people would recognize. i think thats why its important kensuke wasnt in that scene- he probably would have recognized kizami wasnt right.

🤷‍♂️ idk. TLDR: yuuya is a psycho and a sociopath? well so i am so i took that personally. he's clearly struggling with conduct issues, neglect and paranoia canonically but nobody ever wants to discuss that. his actions are fucked but theyre probably not even entirely his. evidence points to him just being almost fully under the effects of the darkening and hes actually just some radiohead hashtag creepy hastag weirdo loner who like. fuck, idk, hotboxes deer hunting blinds. he isnt excused by his trauma and poorly written, ablest stereotype mental illness, but it does offer some explanation. also it makes me valid but only me valid for defending him everyone else who likes yuuya needs to like. call a hotline because they are usually "attracted" to him killing people and like. uhm girl...... what.

sorry if this is impossible to read i didnt o back and check it because i dont care about anything in da world

yeah. yeah no this isn’t impossible to read it’s just a lot so i need to process it but yeah. he’s clearly written to be someone with aspd but the writing is so.. ableist it doesn’t do him any justice.

like i kind of understand his siblings point of view, lashing out emotionally when they find out that he’s hurt animals. like i’m so sensitive to animal injury and death, especially caused by humans. but kizami was a child. a young child. it was clear that he needed help, not to be shamed and yelled at.

and yeah. it’s clear that he loves kids and wants his own younger sibling to treat better than his older siblings treat him. but the copa writers.. ugh they so obviously have a little sister fetish. like that’s all yuka exists for. she has no character other than having the hots for her oni-chan. and acting like she’s 5. and.. the other thing 🤢 so of course they can’t be normal about kizami wanting a little sibling so they project all their creepiness into him.