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YD: Ahh, so adorable. I recorded some stuff, like them trying yukke. [Reading chat] Right? I was flabbergasted when I heard his age! I didn’t know that he was… 20 years old??? He was also shocked when I told him my age. I don’t really ask their ages when I’m talking to foreigners, we’re just friends, ‘cause they don’t have distinct honorific and informal languages like we do. And he guessed I was like, 23? [Laughs] I laughed my ass off.
YD: These kids are polite. They seem very polite, don’t they? Especially after hearing how old I am. It feels like they’re saying, “Yes ma’am, it’s very delightful.” So cute, and they seemed like they really enjoyed their meal.
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YD talked about meeting up with Tubbo while he was in Korea and shares two videos of them eating food at a Korean BBQ place!
MASSIVE thank you to @Forgetmelotz on Twitter, who translated and subtitled this video and gave me permission to share it on Tumblr! Please make sure to give the original video a like.
[Full Video and Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]
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⚠️ This transcript is VERY LONG! ⚠️
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YD: So I was planning to have a dinner with Kei [a Kpop Idol / Singer], but unexpectedly, there's a foreigner friend I met on QSMP named Tubbo, he's from the UK, and apparently he's visiting Korea. And he posted an Instagram story about it. I saw it and was like "Wait, are you coming to Korea?" and it [Tubbo's post] even says Korea blah blah within the date two days after my birthday. So I sent him a DM and he responded with "Haven't you seen my Twitter DM?"
YD: I recently distanced myself a little from Instagram and Twitter for a while, yeah I didn't check my phone that often, and it turns out he messaged me about 3 - 4 days ago saying "YD, I'm flying to Korea! Blah blah–" so I was like "Oh, oh... I'm sorry I didn't see that!" and I checked the DM the day before he arrived here... I told him that I am so sorry and asked if I can meet him in person.
* [Translation note: this can also mean the other way around, ie: he may have asked her if they could meet in person]
YD: So we ended up seeing [each other] on the 21st. I was supposed to have dinner with Kei, so I told her "but my friend from abroad... is in Korea now... what should I do..." and we rescheduled the dinner to inviting her to come over next week. So um, the, right– Tubbo, Tubbo's friend [Eryn], Seoneng [one of YD's crew members] and Kang-si [YD's husband] the 5 of us had dinner together.
YD: We went to a Korean BBQ place. I was searching through restaurants thinking “Uh… which Korean restaurant should I take these foreigners to so that they would be super impressed?” [YD thanks a dono] Yeah, I was searching hard and so I asked Ryeori. You know the Kwak tori & Ryeori couple? Ryeori the hair designer, I asked him, “Reyori, I’m trying to buy a dinner for my foreigner friend, do you have any recommendations for where I should bring him?” and he started listing up like Michelin star-rated pork gukbap restaurants and stuff. Then he also tells me that it’s really difficult to find an actual Korean restaurant in Hongdae, like it’s difficult to find a decent place. There are mostly fusion Korean food [places]. But then he goes, “Oh, hey, this place looks fine” and recommends me this Korean BBQ restaurant. I decided to bring them there and fed them.
YD: The reason I liked that place was that they sell doenjang-jjigabe, galbi-tang, jeyuk bokkeum, and other dishes as well as their main menu, the beef KBBQ. The banchans [side dishes] were also served neatly, they even had japchae, they sold yukke. Obviously there are better Korean restaurants outside of Hongdae, but their hotel was located there. It wasn’t like he had a car here, so I was trying to meet them somewhere they can just walk to. So Hongdae it was. On top of that, YD 4-cuts is also located in Hongdae.** So I thought it would be the best to just eat out here. And while we were eating, I’ve recorded some videos.
** [Note: This is a photo booth event with custom YD frames, as show in the background of this video]
YD: [Scrolls through to find the videos and laughs] Ahh, so adorable. I recorded some stuff, like them trying yukke. [Reading chat] Right? I was flabbergasted when I heard his age! I didn’t know that he was… 20 years old??? He was also shocked when I told him my age. I don’t really ask their ages when I’m talking to foreigners, we’re just friends, ‘cause they don’t have distinct honorific and informal languages like we do. [She thanks another dono] And he guessed I was like, 23? [Laughs] I laughed my ass off.
[YD plays a video she took of Tubbo and Eryn at the restaurant]
Tubbo: Oh, ok. [?]: You should tell them how to eat it together. Tubbo: You’re overestimating my chopstick skill. [?]: Here. [Passes Tubbo some of the meat] Tubbo: Oh, thank you. [?]: And here, together. Tubbo: Ok. [Takes a bite] Waitress: With this vegetable. Tubbo: Mm, it’s really sweet! [?]: Foreigners quite like it. Eryn: [Reaches over and tries some food too, struggling a bit with his chopsticks] [?]: Unexpected, right? [?]: Oh, they like yukke? [?]: They just need to get used to it. Waitress: I will grill and hand it over to you, so please help yourselves. [?]: Ok, thank you. Eryn: [Tries more food and gives it a thumbs-up] [?]: Hm, good?! Tubbo and Eryn: Yeah! Tubbo: So far 10/10.
[The video ends]
YD: These kids are polite. They seem very polite, don’t they? Especially after hearing how old I am. It feels like they’re saying, “Yes ma’am, it’s very delightful.” So cute, and they seemed like they really enjoyed their meal. They were eating it up. They drank soju, they ate some noodles, and even doenjang-jjigae. I’ve heard foreigners don’t really like the taste of doenjang-jjigae, but they ate pretty much [all] of it. The restaurant also had pot rice, so I made them try that too. They ate that well too.
[YD plays the second video she recorded of them at the restaurant]
Tubbo: Go crazy ok, yeah! Alright.
YD: We ordered naengmyeon for a palate cleanser too. We ordered a lot.
Tubbo: [Struggles to cut the noodles with the scissors that were handed to him]
YD: He’s asking why we cut the noodles.
Tubbo: [Manages to cut the noodles] Kang-si [?]: Ok, and- and– [does chopstick motion] Tubbo: [Laughs] What am I gonna need? Eryn: Chopsticks? Kang-si [?]: Yeah. YD [?]: Chopsticks, mm. Eryn: [To Tubbo] You go first. Tubbo: [Inaudible] Why is it cold? YD [?]: Oh, because the noodle is cold.
YD: Yeah, he found it interesting that the noodle is cold.
Tubbo: [He struggles with his chopsticks] Oh no, oh no… [Everyone laughs] Kang-si [?]: Very difficult. Ok! Tubbo: [Manages to fish some noodles out and holds his hand under them so they don’t splash everywhere as he transports them to his bowl] Seoneng [?]: Oh, uh, oh! It might be difficult for them to eat that. YD [?]: Hm? Kang-si [?]: Do you want some, Seoneng? Gimme the chopsticks, I’ll share you some. Eryn: [To Tubbo] Slippery. How did you get it? Kang-si [?]: I’ll give you some, hand me the chopsticks. Seoneng [?]: Can I hand you mine? Just a small amount, please.
YD: They mimicked how Kangseok [Kang-si, YD’s husband] handles the noodles. Like, picking up the noodles like this and moving it to your dish.
Tubbo: That’s why you’re better than me (?).
YD: That’s Seoneng.
Kang-si [?]: Here’s your chopsticks, Seoneng. Eryn: I think this is enough. YD [?]: Oh, he’s taking some to his dish. Seoneng [?]: He learned. Tubbo: Do you like, spin 'em? Seoneng [?]: Scissors? Kang-si [?]: Like– [He holds up his chopsticks and shows them how to do it. Ok. OK! Eryn: [Picks up only a few noodles, which dangle] Seoneng [?]: Good! Tubbo: Maybe I did- I did a sht job of cutting, I'm sorry. Eryn: That's ok. Doing good.
YD: It had a nice atmosphere.
Eryn: Bravo. Tubbo: Oh, thank you. YD [?]: The noodles might be a bit slippery for them to...
YD: They really struggled to pick the noodles up. They asked why we cut the noodles then proceeds to eat like that 'cuz it's too long.
YD [?]: Shall we cut it? Kang-si [?]: Eryn? [He leans forward and cuts Eryn's noodles with scissors]
YD: –So we had to cut it for him like he's a baby.
[Everyone laughs] Eryn: It kept on moving!
[The video ends]
YD: [Laughs] Ah, so cute. It was fun. So we tried various dishes together. And uh, UK– UK– both of them are from the UK, but they didn't know there is a viral series of British students trying Korean food,*** so I told them "Seeing how you react to unfamiliar foods, like... How do I put this? You were very polite trying these out, not making any weird disgusted noises (so you can go viral too)." They didn't refuse anything. Well, they also said that this was the best Korean food they had so far. They might've been just being polite, but still, you know, they were... Hmm, very neat? Yeah. I get why he's so popular.
*** [Note: YT: Korean Englishman]
YD: Anyways, it was a lot of fun. After the meal, I asked them if they wanted to go take a YD 4-cut with us, explaining this is a trending form of birthday event amongst fans of younger generations in Korea where they rent and run a photobooth for their YouTuber / CCs / Influencers. I asked "It's close from here, you wanna go?" and he said yes. That's how we ended up taking a group photo. It wasn't planned beforehand.
YD: We arrived there– [Laughs] I tried, I knew it closes at 10pm, so I tried to visit there around then (to avoid people). So we got there around 9:30? And my fans were sitting there waiting for me. As soon as they spot me they go, "Wooooooo!!! It's so good to see you in person!!!" ...then they started crying, which made Tubbo and Eryn panic a bit. They were like "Wow YD, u a superstar! Whoa." [Laughs]
YD: No, 'cuz I told them that there might be a few fans because it's my birthday event, and they were OK with it. Well, he's also a Youtuber, so he wouldn't be too unfamiliar with this kinda situation I figure. But even though I warned [him] about it, they seemed a bit surprised as people started SOBBING, so Kangseok evacuated them all. He told them, "Let's get out and try some salted butter rolls while she..." The boys leave and get bread, and I go have a short conversation with my fans, take photos, give autographs... [Laughs]
YD: It was a LOT of fun. It was a memorable day.
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The original VOD can be found here (please note that the video is only available to VIP members of YD's channel).
Timestamp for this conversation: ~12:30 - 23:00
#Yangding#QSMP#Tubbo#QSMP Meetups#YD#According to Forgetmelotz a lot of YD's viewers were calling Tubbo and Eryn ''babies'' how cute#August 23 2024#That transcript took forever to write wheezes#Would've been even longer without those subtitles though#Translators are the backbone of our community fr#Eryn Cyberonix#Eryn
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Anrir Husbandry
Husbandry tags: @egrets-not-regrets @liar-anubiass-blog @barn-anon @bleedingichorhearts @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan
@ms--lobotomy @nekotaetae @sleepyfan-blog @c-u-c-koo-4-40k @the-raven-lady
@bispecsual
Edit: forgot to thank @justahuman1757 for help with some of the translations and other help
Song on repeat: Cradles by Sub Urban (also most of the remixes for this SLAP)
tw: smut, yandere, obsessive behavior, manipulation
Anrir cooed at the little human in his arms finishing up singing them back to sleep знішчыць.... знішчыць... His voice carried low and softly. It was naptime... they needed to sleep as it was good for them of course they didn't seem to realize that. His long back hair was tied back into a slightly messy bun as his nearly completely black eyes dart around the pastel colored room just looking for anything wrong. His Dragă wanted to work with children in childcare and perhaps it took a couple of years to get here since he had first found her.
She was so much happier since he had first found her... happy about their bond... no more worry in her eyes... no more stress making her hands tremble or her loosing sleep... no more worrying about her next meal or if her car were to break... no more crying... well no more senseless crying. He puts the child down looking around at the sleeping forms but he cant help but grin as this really was all possible because of him, Anrir purrs softly at the satisfaction of how well he has done his job... and how he has covered his trail...
5 years prior
Anrir was a drifter... he drifted around as he had yet to find his own bonded, which given how some legions seemed to be more inclined to get a bond; with Night Lords being one of the ones with very few "feral" Astartes it was only a matter of time before Anrir would find his. But Anrir in all definitions was a feral Astartes having been unbonded since he arrived forty years ago. However, it was fine as Anrir hadn't spent that time just moping about he spent a majority of his time politicking and reuniting with other Terran Night Lords long dead and of course reuniting with those who were under his knife when they were aspirants and scouts which he affectionately called them his kids.
He was also using this time to take a break, a forced break, from running his warband; not that he could run it right now anyway. But he would mull over plans for when he returned back to his time period... if he did was another thought. His eyes moved up to the sky as he could smell the water gathering in the air. Which meant that the group he was with would start a debate on if they were going to settle down or continue on despite the weather. He did not care too much and decided to wander off to look around at where they were.
He walked out of the tree covering that the group was skulking through as he looked at the abandoned parking lot he had walked out into. It was rotting away neglected and abandoned as the painted lines were faded and practically gone, the pavement was cracked with plants growing through cracks; with the asphalt under his feet turning to gravel as plants come to reclaim this section of human infrastructure. And Anrir... he savored this reclamation of nature and decay of it all. Compared to the prison pit he was born into on the other side of the globe; he had already made his pilgrimage to the eventual site of his birth... a town full of people whose existence was never known as a great chasm of the guilty was there.
But that dark pit in the ground was not there now... there were no babies being born in that dark hellhole... his neck tattoo had a phantom itch as he is reminded why it was put on his neck... as he is reminded that at some point he was truly innocent... he is reminded of the hand gently petting his head... the soft voice cooing at him telling him how brave he was being... as he remembers having tears in his eyes as the ink is shoved into his skin... he gently starts to suffocate the memories of a child long gone and a woman paradoxically long dead and yet had yet to be born. His eyes flick to the far side of the quiet parking lot as a car just sits in the dark. The only other thing in this lot, far from the flickering road light... he could hear the annoying buzz of the light as it flickered... the flick... flick... flick... as it finally goes out. He moves with soft steps towards the vehicle as the summer insects scream their sonorous songs it was almost overstimulating for some of his brothers with how alive this planet felt with no foe to focus down on. Anrir felt his gums itch like he craved an oral inhalant and the way the hair on the back of his neck rose as he wandered closer not giving into the craving.
Anrir had seen many homeless humans both back in his own time and here. His eyes looked through the windows of the car seeing how it was lived in, he could hear the soft breathing akin to how someone was asleep... the slow beat of a heart was barely audible to him as the insects continued to scream their songs. There was nothing special about what he saw as it was a baseline female just buried under an assortment of clothes, a towel, a jacket, and some blanket... a bucket with a strainer lid to collect the impending rain... he chuckled at the cleverness but he understood the need to just survive. He turned to walk back to the others but something rooted him in place. He could practically taste the misery mixing with the rain. His throat tightened as it silently moved in foreign ways but he knew what he was trying to do... to mimic the noises they make at humans.
He lets out a dark chuckle as they were right... it really was something that he would know when it happened. Worry soon festered in his gut as his eyes roamed over her vehicle and while he hardly knew about how it worked he could see the signs of disrepair. His nose wrinkled for a moment as he unclipped his helmet from his hip, slipping it over his head as the rain finally let loose. He listened to the rain slap against the metal roof of the car, the way she moved inside her comfortable cocoon for a moment, and the way water was gathering in the bucket... Anrir had to do something.
You did your best to ignore the Night Lord that was hanging around. Affectionate bastards you were told as you remember those videos of just them being friendly. You shiver at the memory of that one gang member who thought he was so big... being homeless you quickly learned how sleeping near warbands meant that you had to ignore certain things... certain sounds especially at night. Astartes always scared you... you couldn't point to any incident that had happened involving them just that you got bad feelings from them... a certain type of dread. So it wasn't exactly like a fear of dogs but the way they looked and acted they were so human... why were they here... you make yourself look smaller as the Night Lord with what looked like a metal spider on his back sat next to you.
You hear him coo and trill at you trying to get your attention, his head tilting slightly as you could hear the slightly distorted trill to his voice from his helmet, and you did your best to ignore him. Eventually he did leave you alone and you had hoped that would be the last you saw him. But, every day for the next week he kept finding you... he would click and coo at you beckoning you closer with those armored claws of his. It was the last day in the week that you broke and approached him as you chose to fill your car with gas over eating and he had shown up with food. You feel tears gather with each bite as he trills down at you and you feel him hold you close... you hear his purr... you've seen this display online it was a bonding display. You do your best to not choak on the hot food as you can feel tears gather in the corner of your eyes, really the last thing you want is an Astartes bonding to you.
You feel the Astartis petting your head as you eat, trilling at you and you're certain if he wasn't in armor he would be purring. When you look up at him miserably he coos at you trying to sooth the clear distress you were in. His hands flexing each time you try to pull away from him, "You don't want me to be your bonded buddy," You finally speak up and that just breaks something in you and you feel those heavy tears roll down your cheeks even as you try to use the heel of your palm to rub your eyes clean they still fall, "I can't give you anything." Your voice cracks as you admit that.
Anrir sat there silently as you tried to reject the bond… he could feel it fraying at the edges like a lighter had been taken to it. But Anrir was calm even as his entire existence seemed to reel on its axis as you try to push it away. Your voice cracking gave way to the tears that ran down your face, his black eyes darting over your face as baselines crying was familiar to him given what he was but it felt so different… so wrong. Why are you letting her cry Anrir? A soft voice in the back of his mind seems to say. He could feel it fray more and more… but Anrir was aware that when a bond frays… it never attaches back normally. There was also a small high for him as would this be how he tasted death? Not after millennia of being alive just some mortal woman would be the death of him? He would have laughed if it actually broke but he pulled her against him and you did not make the effort to pull away… and so the bond repairs wrong. He did not need anything from you except you.
How you lean against him trying to hide away. So he was okay if you couldn’t give him anything now. He didn’t expect you to give him anything in the first place… but a wicked thought plants itself in his mind. Perhaps it was old fashioned… after all he watched the radical social changes in a mere 40 years and yet like always the Astartes remained unchanged. But… why couldn’t he provide for you? Anrir was a capable Astartes and he did not survive this long by chance but memories flicker by of how generous others were towards their humans. He grinned darkly as he could recognize the signs now… oh… he had intensely bonded to you… he had read the manuals and grimoires both in person and on the noosphere… he had helped write some of those too… so he knew what to look for in terms of side effects and was filing away mental notes about his deviances. And as much as he wanted to act on those feelings Anrir was patient, he was an Apothacarion after all, and his Dragă needed to be taken care of. He purrs and chirps at her to calm her down and gets her to finish her meal.
Thrones, credits, souls, cash… it was annoying dealing with baselines as most societies revolved around needing a good or currency for things and this was not their reality or time period where refusing an Astartes was suicidal. He noted his lack of desire to skin the man yelling at his Dragă to get him to stop “loitering”. But he, like most Astartes, relied on each other and the complex network and ecosystem they built like a parasite on the infrastructure of what was already there or was it the other way around? The Iron Warriors and Imperial Fists would say they laid out efficient infrastructure… but he found resources; since it was no longer allowed to simply take humans as serfs anymore and just have them live in a base full time… not that the Night Lords had one yet. It would be a few more years till the base was operational and that would be a mustering point for most Night Lords in the area. But Anrir noted how jumpy his precious Dragă got at the idea of getting help from Salamanders or staying in a shelter; he was fine with her choice. He wrinkled his nose as her car was falling apart and he couldn’t fit in it and him being a Night Lord did not help his goal of getting money. However, Anrir had a long reputation having worked in the Consortium with Bile too being a prominent figure in his legion’s hierarchy, no matter how much he tried to stay out of the politicking, so when the Alpharii approached him he wasn’t too surprised.
There were treaties and edicts that any Astartes had to agree to if they wanted to stay near the humans. Besides the obvious of not killing any humans; which before Anrir was bonded was a surprisingly hard ask, but they were not allowed to mettle with them. Technology was to be kept away from them at all costs, no extending their life spans, no augmetics beyond simple necessary prosthetics, and a few others. It all made sense as it was clear they were not ready at all for the horrors of the wider galaxy… no they would not play a hand into accidentally smothering humanity in the cradle because they helped them reach the stars earlier than they were ready for. But just like how human killers existed… and Night Lord trafficker Hunts happened… there was always some bending and breaking of these rules.
The Alpharii couldn’t help mettle in the affairs of the baselines, it was their legion’s expertise, they were information brokers and information hiders… they modified records to hide the sudden birth of a child from a woman and a Astartes… to all the way of covering up when forbidden technology falls into the hands of baselines and there needs to be a raid. They had their fingers in many pies as the saying goes… and Anrir could not play the moral high ground for their request. They weren’t supposed to extend the baselines lives… there was the crude method of giving them a transfusion of Astartes blood and hope they survive all the way to getting the chemicals and components needed for rejuvenation treatments. The latter took time to get what they needed as they could only synthesis so much being limited to what was only on this one planet; and it was hard to keep the Iron Hands from getting eager in “helping” them be able to colonize the Sol system.
But… Anrir looked down at the old corrupt man. Such greedy creatures humans could be and Anrir could never be like his kin who were able to see themselves as being above humanity… Anrir was far too aware of his own humanity and also his own lack of humanity too. “How do I know it will work?” The old man interrupts Anrir’s explanation of what he will be doing in transplanting his heart, “You could be some… con artist.” He says with malice in his frail voice.
Anrir never liked nobles… and he was always surprised at how… self important they could be. His smooth voice answers the question before one of the Alpharii can speak, “My reputation,” He had asked the Alpharii before this and he was not bonded to any of them… he was very much a pawn that the Alpharii weren’t ready to loose yet, “your… companions wouldn’t have gotten me if they doubted my skills. The heart is made for you so there is no chance of rejection.” He says truthfully as it was child's play growing the organ for him.
Anrir voxes one of the Alpharii, “As for my payment for this?” He hisses letting his displeasure bleed through as how dare he speak to Anrir in such a way.
“Everything is set up in ways that won’t tip off the government officials to the sudden influx of wealth. And conveniently set up so that if you choose to help us again…”
Anrir waved his armored hand over his shoulder as his medical mechadendrites unfolded like a spider on his back, “Yes yes you lot have me for several surgeries,” He goes through the process of setting everything for fine movements and working on humans, “But please be aware should anything go wrong in the payments that I can be quite spiteful.” He threatens and enjoys the place of power he is able to come from given how specialists are in such short supplies here and he is certain there is only one other Consortium member on the planet… he knows his expertise is invaluable he is certain he is on many lists to be kept alive.
“Of course Anrir.” Is all one says and that was good enough as Anrir headed into the prepared room.
You were happy that Anrir returned as he did keep you safe and maybe you were feeling those good vibes that people always say they get around Astartes. But now? You looked at what was holding out to you with apprehension. You’re sure that it was a thousand dollars in his hand and you felt hesitant to take it from him as no one just gives people money and not expecting something back… your spine crawls at a memory… He just sighs looking at you passively and perhaps a little annoyed, “Dragă. Go get your car looked at and get it fixed.” He says and you take the money from him as your AC had died and you’re certain that also meant your heating was gone… “Unless,” Your eyes returned to his face as your eyes picked up the bit of white at the roots of his sideburns, “You want to get a bigger vehicle?”
“But I can’t-” You start.
“Don’t worry about money for a second Dragă.” He says putting his hands on your shoulders.
You squirm under his gaze as you considered rejecting it as Anrir gave you such feelings that there was something else he was after… then again you never felt truly comfortable around Astartes… always a lingering sense of dread but… “Maybe… maybe we get something you can fit in as well. Wouldn’t that be nice?” You say softly as you’re certain those cars are far beyond what you can afford and from what you heard basically never break down.
You hold your breath for a moment as Anrir cups your face, you could hear him trill at you, as he grinned down at you with a smile that you’re certain the devil himself would envy, “What a thoughtful Dragă.” Was all he cooed at you.
After that, with much fussing from him, he made you use the money to stay in a motel for a week and you don’t remember when the last time you ate so much food. Anrir in the meanwhile took care of things. You were torn on letting him do such as wasn’t this the reason you had a fallout with your family? Your hands shake at the memories… he ruined your life. Yet while you’re certain Anrir is doing the same thing… it feels different. Anrir only suggested what you use the money for never using it to tell you what to do… Anrir confused you but you took comfort in the thought that he wanted something from you that he could get at your absolute lowest… everyone says bonds are precious things so maybe you should trust him more.
Anrir makes sure he always has enough money on him as he was making sure that there was a positive association in your mind that he was able to provide for you. The fuss you made when he got the car customized so that you could live out of it as long as you wanted, he hopped it wouldn’t be much longer, but it was your choice and all he could do was nudge his Dragă. The excitement he felt rush up his spine when he heard you say “Anrir” in a specific tone… a tone he associated with his Dragă needing something… Dragă needed him to provide. Sometimes you were like a skittish animal only staying for the exchange but sometimes you lingered like an animal and he could get what he wanted from you too. He felt that dopamine rush as you tolerated his touches, the joy he felt when you let him cup your face, how loudly he purred as you let him nuzzle you, petting your head, or rubbing your back. He could still see the hesitation in your eyes… he could tell you weren’t as (warp blind) (bond blind) as other humans were and Anrir is fine with that in fact it made this all the more enjoyable for him.
Winter always comes too soon and once again Anrir brings up places you can stay over the colder months and as hard as you try you still can’t get rid of the feelings that if you acquiesce he will want something. Anrir himself is disappointed that you wont ask him for much more; he does use winter to get something he does want. He finally gets to hold you for as long as he wants, usually your whole sleep cycle. He’s slept in far worse spots and just being a little cramped is hardly anywhere near the list of worst rests he has had. He purrs loudly as you’re glued to his side or his chest at night. Cooing to you as you drift off each night with a full belly in his arms. Its hard not to drift off with how he purrs and the rhythmic beating of his twin hearts… this feels like it’s going to be an easy winter for once so of course you get sick as a dog.
“Poor Dragă.” Anrir’s voice breaks you through your sick haze as the chills don’t help but Anrir being so warm helps. “I know you won’t like this suggestion but as a health specialist I do recommend that perhaps it is time for you to live inside more regularly again?” You can barely hear the quiet engine over the Heater going, Anrir not allowing you to fuss about anything right now once more saying he had it under control, “Arata mizerabil... (Miserable looking…)” He says in Nostroman letting his tongue click as you bury yourself closer to his chest, feeling those ports dig into your skin, “At least something temporary, yes?” He says sounding a little worried, “Wouldn’t that be nice? A temporary place to stay till you find what you want to do?”
“Daycare.” You croak out.
“Hmm?” Anrir looks down at you cocking his head to the side surprised you answered him.
“I want to take care of kids. I like taking care of kids. Don’t know why… so I want to start a daycare.” You say but you soon get weepy, “But who is going to let me do that. Look at me! I’m living in my car running away from my family and I can’t -” You stop your distressed rant as you cough and your nose plugs up again making it hard for you to breath and you can’t help but squirm in Anrir’s grip.
“Shh Dragă, I’ll take care of you.” Anrir says softly a uncharacteristic gentleness in his voice you weren’t expecting from a Night Lord, “You don’t need to worry anymore, Dragă.” Again it’s a soft and warmth to his voice you didn’t know he could have, “Do you trust me?” He asks in a tone you have trouble reading.
Bonds are supposed to be good things… that’s what everyone says… you have a companion for life… and you can tell that they get so much out of what we give them as they were clearly made for something far more violent. But… did you trust Anrir. No… you did not trust him as that feeling never goes away… “What do you want Anrir?” You finally say after a minute of silence.
“You, Dragă.” Anrir says quickly breathlessly.
Again you lay there silently thinking… you didn’t know what he wanted… was it really just being with you? You’ve been with him for months at this point and you couldn’t figure out what he wanted. You did research on bonds from what little you could find and everything kept coming back to just wanting to keep their bonded alive and safe. You were scared to let someone in your safe little world but you were so tired of keeping everything so tight to your chest. Maybe it was because you were sick but you nod and let out a heavy sigh softly saying, “I trust you Anrir.”
His reaction was immediate as he pressed his cheek to yours and you could feel the purring in your teeth as it was so loud, your finger bones felt like they were vibrating, but you didn’t feel the quick kisses that he leaves on your skin. You whimper at the sudden affection. It was anrir’s quirk as he was odd with his affection as whenever you would seek him out for affection he would smother you in his affection but you were okay with it because it was on your terms… your gut wouldn’t stop at the feeling that sometimes it was on his terms luring you in… He presses a kiss to your forehead trilling, his accent thick, “I don’t want you to worry any more my Dragă. I will take care of everything.” His black eyes seem to glitter in delight as he makes his declaration. And you just let go of that tension a bit more.
You don’t know how Anrir found this place, it had a horribly short lease but you knew that it was just to get you out of the weather… you’re certain this place wasn’t built for Astartes in mind so usually that meant they weren’t allowed. You guessed that the landlord looked the other way if said Astartes was paying in cash. It was small and cramped... but it was warm and you could store more than just a bit of food. You were sitting in the tub as Anrir sat on the side shirtless as his hands were massaging shampoo into your hair. You didn't need help with your hair but that didn't stop you from leaning into his hands as he helped you feel clean.
Anrir chuckled at your gentle groaning and moaning as it was clear you were enjoying yourself. He enjoyed helping you feel this way helping you clean and take care of you in this small way... he shivered as he was cleaning his Dragă... he wrapped his Dragă in a nice fluffy towel... he carried his Dragă to the bedroom and savored the laugh that left your mouth as he just tossed you onto the bed with a bounce.
You just laid there, eyes closed, enjoying yourself... sure there was only one bed which was fine as you had spent most of the winter snuggling up to Anrir in the car, it was not the most comfortable mattress in the world... the apartment was quiet...no it was never quiet not with the thin walls... but Anrir was quiet. You became aware of how you were just laying naked on the bed... alarms were going off in your head as you feel his smooth hands run over your knees, feeling his thumbs push into the side as he spreads your legs open slowly. This wasn't normal... and yet this felt like what everything was building up too... but you were always told that bonds were selfless things, right?
Your skin trembles as his hands move over your drying flesh, your breathing shivers, you can feel the bed shift as Anrir climbs onto it. Your throat bobs as you swallow the nervous energy but your eyes open as you feel the bare skin of his legs as he had divested himself of his pants. Anrir's silent still as he presses his scarred lips against your cheek, his body leaning over yours as he settles between your legs, and you feel his hand move to your chin to slowly turn you to meet him. His lips dragging against your flesh as the scarred flesh presses against your own lips. You were close enough that you could tell that his eyes were not fully black... you could see the dark blue of his iris darting with micromovements as he took in your face. But, you could see the predator in his eyes... but it was something more the term hyper-predator comes to mind because what monsters would someone like Anrir need to hunt?
Anrir presses his mouth to yours more and you close your eyes allowing the kiss to deepen. Anrir had been nothing but good to you... but you worry... would he use this against you? You desperately hope that he wouldn't. "Mina..." His voice rumbles like thunder as his hands drag across your flesh in a way that feels dominant and possessive. You can't stop the shuddering moan that leaves your mouth as his mouth moves against the front of your neck, licking the way your throat moves in its swallowing motion. "Toate ale mele… (All mine...)" He says whispering to you in a language that you don't know, "Fiecare parte din tine… toată a mea… trupul și sufletul tău. (Every part of you... all mine... your body and your soul.)" He says again as Anrir presses his cock against your entrance. His mouth continuing its worship of your neck and chin as you open your eyes slightly and just watch Anrir with lidded eyes. He cups your face as his tongue presses hard on your lower lip before pushing his tongue back into your mouth just kissing you hard.
You knew you had fringe thoughts about Astartes... Anrir was just proving to you one thing... that they were far too human to ignore. Far too human and far too predatory... you could never get that feel good emotion from Anrir... from any Astartes really. They were all predators... they were man made monsters made to fight monsters that you didn't know would exist beyond the silver screen of Hollywood or the writings of horror writers. He pulls his mouth away trilling at you and pausing when he sees the look on your face. You were looking at a predator looking at prey a malicious looking thing that tried to play the part of a friendly thing... a wolf playing the role of a dog. "Anrir."
"Yes Dragă." He says as a hand cups your face.
"What do you want?" You again ask... because... you don't think he's lying about the bond but this wasn't normal? You felt everything rushing anxiously to a point.
"You, Dragă." He says devotedly.
You were tired... so tired of being on your own for years before Anrir came. Oh how much Anrir had helped beyond just the money he gave you and the food... just being here... even if it was wrong... even if... you were so tired. You pull Anrir into a kiss as you didn't want to think anymore! You didn't want to worry any more... you whimper as Anrir just purrs loudly as you decide to let Anrir take care of it... take care of you... just for today you tell yourself as you melt into the embrace.
You feel the slight discomforting sensation of your walls spreading open as his cock slowly pushes in. When it becomes too much your hand or foot pushes against his chest which makes him stop till your brow stops furrowing and you for him to continue. This continues until his hips are flush with yours and Anrir hisses in delight, "Atât de strâns atât de bine cu mine… draga mea… a mea. (So tight so good to me... my dear... mine.)" You once more don't understand him but you decide to not worry about it as he starts moving. Your thighs burn slightly at the stretch to have them spread open wide for Anrir to thrust into you. Your eyes close as you focus on the feeling and enjoy that he doesn't ask you to look at him but that doesn't stop him from talking, "Mă simți fată frumoasă? (Do you feel me pretty girl?)" He trills in that unknown tongue, "Te concentrezi pe penisul meu din interiorul tău? (Are you focused on my cock inside of you?)" He asks something else perhaps not realizing or caring that you don't understand him.
He picks up the pace as he pants down at you and you just yowl and moan in pleasure. Porn making everything feel so fake when real sex sounds so unsexy at times but you had no need to make things sound sexy or be perfect. You could hear Anrir chuckle at an unflattering noise you make as he slams his hips into yours again making you repeat it. Eventually things feel tighter and more anxious as Anrir tilts you slightly so his cock pushes into you at a downward angle and you just laugh at the unflattering squeak and squawk that you make. Anrir laughs with you at all those weird and all those distinctively you vocalizations but you just don't care as no one is telling you that you're being unappealing... you throw your head back and arch up as you earned the right to not worry. You moan loudly moaning his name as you feel so good! You earned this reward! You deserve this... you deserve to just let go... you orgasm with little fan fair... just a simple gasp.
You feel so good... everything feels so good as Anrir continues to chase his release, the feeling of a bed against your back, the fuzzy climbdown from an orgasm, the oily drop of sweat from Anrir that lands on your shoulder, and the comforting stutter from him that stutter causes you to open your eyes to watch his brow furrow and you watch how surprisingly expressive he gets as he cums.
The apartment is mostly quiet... as quiet as you can get with thin walls... you lay there with him not thinking about anything... not thinking as you feel his cock softening against your inner thigh. He lets out a loud breath as he lays back in bed in his spot as you meanwhile are pushing away the worry about the consequences of sleeping with Anrir. You cuddle against his side, his arm wrapping around you, you feel the cum ooze out of you ... you're still tired of thinking... you're so tired of it... so tired of worrying why and what Anrir was doing for money... You put your head against his chest over his hearts ignoring the discomfort of the ports against your face... you just listen to the way his hearts beat.
Present day
You were in a much better spot than when you were a couple of years ago... you actually came into money, no it wasn't a rich distant relative dying but it was another person you had camped with when you were homeless. They had actually won the lottery and were being smart with it, which you think was more so their Ultramarine had helped in making smart choices. Though you had your suspicions... the Alpharii... a few seem to come by every few months some to coo at the kids, eager to find a bonded, and some to talk with Anrir as you watched them take containers from your home. But being given money you sudden just kept finding yourself with more money and it was stupid how much money you got after investing some of it... you didn't want to question it and Anrir was very good at distracting you.
Oh speaking of Anrir... he got you so many gifts. He would still give you random bouts of cash but he was finally acting more and more like how a bonded Astartis is supposed to act. You also were seeing how talented he was with his hands as besides his occupation you discovered his macabre hobby that all Night Lords seem to have... bone scrimshawing and taxidermy. You could point out all the time that he acted like a normal bonded Astartis and yet at the same time... how many gestures were more. You got outfits, jewelry, wines, your current house, and hell even your job you know he had a hand in financing... it spiraled out of control with his gifts that your friends noticed and asked who your 'sugar daddy' was or rather if he had any friends.
You smile warmly and wave goodbye as the last child finally gets picked up. You head back inside letting out a soft exhale and start picking up the room not getting very far into cleaning up when Anrir wraps his arms around you and purrs into your shoulder... purring into where he tattooed you years ago. You feel him give a playful tug onto the choker collar that he made for you, expensive thing and you know he liked you wearing it. You were lucky that no one asked you what Anrir was... everyone just assumed he was a Raven Guard...
"I can smell your worry Dragă." He says nipping your earlobe.
"I'm just tired Anrir."
"Then lets go home." He kisses your cheek.
"But I have stuff to pick up-"
"And this is why we hire others to clean," He says gentle cocking his head to the side, "You're worried about something." Anrir takes the toy from your hands as you pick at the seams.
You let out a heavy sigh bringing your thumb to your lips, "I'm just scared everything is about to go wrong." Anrir takes your hand to stop you from biting your nails.
"And if it does... I will take care of it." Anrir says with such certainty and authority that makes you believe him.
The breath in your chest you let out with a heavy sigh, "Okay." You nod.
He tugs on your choker bringing you close for a kiss as he trills softly, "I will always take care of you my frumoasă dragă (beautiful darling)." And you chose to believe it.
#space marine husbandry sentience#warhammer 40k#oc: Anrir#darling: Draga#carnal bond#intense bond#yandere bond#tw: smut#tw yandere#tw: obsessive behavior#I have been working on this for so long#the smut was debatable on adding it#but the longer this took to get out the more I was like#“Fuck it”#because momrad hasn't been able to write a lot#and so its like here's some smut guys#also Raven being super ovulating right now and just being unwell for my guy so yeah another thing to convince me to keep the smut in it#also sorry about the POV switching between Draga and Anrir#I enjoy letting people see what both of them think and feel and I know its probably messy but just... yeah#no beta we die like horus#no beta we die like sanguinius#no beta we die like ferrus#no beta we die like the emperor#these tags are a mess#these tags are getting silly#im just so happy that im finally done with this and can move onto other projects
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The Roombas from planes 2
#woc#pixar cars#disney planes#planes 2#haunted planes#roomba#cad spinner#Mikey#André#cad fucking spinner#f-117#still a pain in the ass to draw#I do have to say that cad has a lot of unique traits and even he’s a selfish lil bitch he has some cute n fun moments#made some research and fr the way he moves and talk is nothing like other cars#nighthawk#Mikey got a free Roomba#yippee
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this expresses about 1.5435432% of how much i've been enjoying this series lately, and touches even less on its amazingness, but what can you do.
if you have the time and energy to spare, please go read My S-Class Hunters / The S-Classes That I Raised!!!
#SCTIR#The S-Classes That I Raised#My S-Class Hunters#I'M 80% DONE READING ACCORDING TO MY READER APP#this took me WAY longer than I thought#my photoshop has been crashing a lot on me lately#like 3 times per each of these panels#there are typos i know i tried but the crashes tired me out#istg i'm going to make a photoset for the han brothers to Start Here#i was inbetween the 'hilariously gay' or 'hilariously bisexual' but like. chloe. valerie.#originally it was going to be 'ao3 tags' but#i ramble much more on tumblr tags and i wanted to convey that#please I wanted to write 50 pages on why Yerim is such a great girl#and another 200 on the Han brothers#and I need another panel explaining why I want Moon Hyuna to autograph my chest okay#IN THIS TED TALK I WILL--#(why do i only ever post things when i give up on them?)
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Here's some of it @bloodlessbhaalbabe - I don't know if I'm brilliant at it but I do have a lot of practice! :D All my art is under the username Ravenari, if anyone wants to search for more of it!
(I also have more in the 'my art' tag)
(This is all traditional art - coloured pencil / watercolour pencil / waterfast ink and some minor acrylic or watercolour touches on illustration board!)
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#asks and answers#there's some inktober stuff here#i always draw lots of animals#the steampunk piece won an award at a local convention#and got sold#the copper forest i was planning on selling and then#my mum scooped it up sdalfjkdas#which is good because it's huge and took me a loooooong time to do#like the level of detail is stupid#the inktober pheasants are done on pieces of illustration board#just a little bit longer than my palm#meanwhile the wolverine piece above it#is like 1.5 metres long#and would take up a whole wall as a feature piece#like it's hard to overstate how large that is sdlfkjasd#anyway this was my job before writing!#and i still sell my original pieces at#ravensdreaming#over at etsy#but like as a hobby now
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Do you have any screenshots of your favorite details from KHUX?
HAHAHAHAHA, yeah I do
Gonna just drop a read more here 'cause if y'all know me at all you know this post is probably gonna be 10KM long lol
So, I'm gonna try to hold myself back a little because I literally have like 10 pages of notes about specifically stuff in the backgrounds and I doubt the internet will find my bench and lamppost count interesting. (Also image limit lol)
I'll list just 4 things for now (in no particular order) and talk about them a bit underneath.
NUMBER 1 || STREET SIGNS
So there are four street signs that we’ve seen in Daybreak Town. Two are in the Fountain Square (A and B), one is in the Marketplace (C), and one is in the Clocktower Outskirts map (D).
For B and D it’s pretty easy to figure out what the represent. B is a clock, probably representing the Clock Tower… or maybe the best place to see the Clocktower because it’s in Fountain Square. The overall shape of it is different from the rest of the signs so I imagine that means something. D is a gondola or canoe of some sort, which makes sense because it’s next to stairs that seemingly lead to the canal that runs through town. Maybe there’s a ferry system of some sort?
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A and C I’m less sure about. The designs don’t really bring anything obvious to mind. Maybe C is Munny because it leads to the Marketplace? I’m not sure.
NUMBER 3 || DOOR UNDER FOUNTAIN SQUARE
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See what makes this interesting to me isn’t just the fact that apparently Fountain Square is hollow underneath (maybe for pipe repairs or something, I don’t know) but just the general fact that a lot of structures in this town, that maybe shouldn’t be, are hollow.
If you look even some archways have windows, so there has to be an open space inside, right? Most of them seem at least connected to houses so I assume they’re basements or something. (The one by murder house gets me tho, like that’s right under the bridge. Who’s living right under the bridge)
And I also feel like this leads into the fact that, similarly but not as extreme as in Scala, Daybreak Town is kinda built on top of itself. Maybe that’s a symptom of being around so many (and possibly on) mountains but I still feel like it should be talked about more.
NUMBER 4 || LIGHTHOUSE INTERIOR MAP
There is so much to unpack here but I’ll try to keep it brief.
So I’m pretty sure this is one of, if not the oldest building in Daybreak Town. Two reasons.
1. Instead of having little wall lamps, like the rest of the town and buildings, all the light seems to come from mounted candles.
2. There are swords (A) on the walls and not Keyblades. Why would the Keyblade town not have Keyblades on its little shield emblem? Is it possibly because it was there before Keyblades?
This staircase here (B) is also the only known (not sewer drain) way into the waterways. It leads into the sewers then out to the little dock below the Lighthouse with the boat, hence the sign.
There’s these maps here (C) that I don’t really know what to say about, but is definitely worth pointing out. They’re all the same and I assume show the layout of the area surrounding the town (the darker parts being water). It could be a world map though (darker part being continents)… I don’t think we’ll ever really learn lol
And also I don’t know what this is (D) but I think it’s interesting that it has writing on it. It kinda gives me the vibe of those flat on the ground gravestones…
NUMBER 5 || BANNER
Daybreak Town actually has a flag it’s all over the place and you’ll start to see it everywhere if you look for it. They also kind of look like the banners in Radiant Garden. The colours and shape/mounting are the same but the designs on the flag itself (and mounting) is different.
I have no clue what that implies, if anything, but I figure it’s worth pointing out ‘cause it’s interesting.
#This post took a lot longer than I wanted it to lol#but I hope you enjoy my brain rot#there’s so much I could point out but I think if I did any more the post would never would've been finished lol#actually writing thoughts down is a killer lol#(like originally there were going to be 7 but for whatever reason my brain was not letting that happen)#(so I’m just letting there be the 4 lol)#khux#kh#kingdom hearts#sometimes i think about khux
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To My Dearest
Three letters from Haku Kusanagi to Zenji Kotodama that he did not send and one that he did. Thank you @danieyells for the inspiration. This is dedicated to @zenji-kotodama-official, for hopefully obvious reasons.
[unsent]
Zenji,
This is the sort of thing you would do. But now I find myself sitting at my desk, the weight of the time spent apart hanging over me like an axe about to drop, and I'm writing a letter you'll probably never see. I'm pretending to write to you anyway. Rui said it might help me figure my feelings out if I wrote them down like this, but after ten of these already I'm starting to think I'm doing this just because it feels like the only way I can speak my mind to you while you're not here.
It reminds me of the time I found a poem left on your desk when you weren't there. You wrote of a ghost of a poet and an heir to a shrine. I didn't read it all—I won't pretend to have had the patience or the nerve to try at the time—but I still think about it. You were trying to tell me something and I wish I knew what.
I shouldn't have told you what I did, that I wished I had kissed you when I had the chance. I should have said that I'd still try. You still reach for the people around you with such reckless love, like that time you moved for my hand and fell through your own bed. Your embarrassment was priceless. Oddly beautiful, too. And if you'd let me try to embarrass myself, just once, I'd try to kiss you, ghostly air and all.
It's shameful. Sometimes I lay awake at night, curled up on my side and staring at my door, asking myself what I did wrong. But I know I've done plenty wrong. Even so, I wish you'd just talk to me. I miss you. I hate that I miss you.
You're so annoying, but why did I have to get used to your annoyingness? Why do I miss it? Why do I yearn for just one more obnoxiously loud song, one more melancholic poem, one more masterpiece played on your biwa with your imperious voice demanding I record?
I hate you. I hate you for making me cry. I hate you for being gone. I hate you for not talking to me. I hate you for your silence more than your noise ever annoyed me. Please come back. Please be silent somewhere I can see you again. Just please come back. Come back and be your annoying self and I won't complain again. I won't roll my eyes. I won't tease. Just come back to me, Zenji.
Why do you avoid me? Is it so terrible if I want you, alive or dead? Is there really no other way for us to have our happily ever after? Is there a reason you won't try with me?
Haku
[unsent]
Dear Taro,
Do you remember the day we first met? It was the start of second year for us both, though I didn't really know you until I first stepped foot into Hotarubi, my new dorm at the time. To be honest, I don't really know why I chose it when I'd hardly spent any time there before I left Frostheim. I guess it just reminded me of home.
That first day though, it didn't feel exactly like home. It felt a bit like betrayal when I walked in, knowing who I'd left behind. I was quiet, and then there you were. An explosion of colour and fabric, pale skin glowing even in the dim mists of Hotarubi, and I could swear your eyes sparkled. You were all smiles and friendly chatter, welcoming me like I was just some childhood buddy you hadn't seen for a long time. You didn't even know me.
And you wouldn't leave my side. You said "hi" to at least a dozen people on the way to showing me my room, but stuck by me. At mealtimes, you were there. In the evening, you walked me back to my room even when I said I remembered the way. You did the same the day after that and the day after that and, seemingly, almost every single day forward. I'm not sure you knew it, but you made those first months bearable for me. I'm not sure I ever thanked you for that.
I've always been ungrateful when it comes to you. For your life, your company, and your smile.
What I'd give to see your smile again.
Sorrowfully, Haku
[unsent]
Dearest Taro,
I see the way she looks at you. I see the way you look at her. I've never been a jealous man. At least, not until now. She brings so much more life to you, and for someone always on my case for flirting, you certainly charm the hell out of her.
We talk now, but it doesn't feel the same as before the ball. I wish we'd never gone. I wish I hadn't asked you to dance. I'd undo it all if it meant you wouldn't keep averting your gaze from me when I'm in the room.
What does an honor student have that I don't? Why will you entertain her and not me?
How much longer will this go on?
Yours, Haku
[the downturned card]
Haku didn't show up to the wedding. How could he go on pretending to be perfectly serene and happy, seeing two of his friends get what they always deserved and he selfishly wished against?
The closest he made it was a short distance from the reception, under the shade of a tree grown into the form of a bench. It was wrapped in white and soft indigo ribbons, purple roses tucked among them. That was where he left his folded-up letter.
He glimpses Zenji in the distance, dressed down for this part after the ceremony, considering it was only for close friends. Who would have thought that all the ghouls would not only help lift not just a curse, but a spirit from the dead to allow this newlywed couple to stand here today? Zenji moved and interacted with the world with so much grace and enthusiasm. Every step, every wave of his hand, every turn of his head filled Haku with a love so deep and aching that it hurt.
Love. He had fallen in love with his old friend. It was a terrifying, tragic feeling.
If not for the pain, Haku wouldn't have had the means to walk away, leaving the letter in the tree for Zenji to find if he went looking.
To My Dearest,
There's a poem I've been thinking about. A few lines specifically:
Trees outside the window and a big band sound that makes you feel like / everything's okay, / a feeling that lasts for one song maybe, / the parentheses all clicking shut behind you... I sleep. I dream. I make up things / that I would never say. I say them very quietly.
Sometimes it's easier to use a poet's words when I'm lost for ways to articulate just how I'm feeling. The full poem is more hopeful, but I keep coming back to these lines. It's like he knew, somehow. Precisely how to describe the way grief feels, where you stand in one place but time moves on anyway. Contentment is fleeting, the situation is final, and I betray my own healing by whispering all the words I wish I had said long ago and clinging to them like they might impossibly change the present.
I fear I have become the ghost in bringing you back. I'm stuck somewhere between that night and all the nights after where something got lost in translation.
You deserve this happy life. I'm writing this letter to say goodbye. I have always been a selfish, selfish man. I can't watch you love someone else anymore and live the life with her that I wanted with you.
I'm sorry, Taro. I'm so sorry I never did anything right by you.
Yours, still, Haku
[the upright card]
Haku went through the motions of the day in a kind of stupor. A few years ago, if you told him that he was going to get married one day, he'd laugh self-deprecatingly and ask if you were planning to propose to say such a thing. If you told him he was going to marry Zenji Kotodama—to him, Taro Kirisaki—he would blankly demand what gave you that ridiculous idea, arms crossed and unimpressed.
Currently, his arms are draped over Zenji's shoulders as they slow dance in an empty garden party. All the guests had left. Soon, Haku was going to clean up before he and Zenji collected their bags to board the late train. But right now, he's content just dancing to a song Zenji hummed sweetly in the quiet.
The moment feels so surreal. Zenji's buzzing solidness after years of growing stronger, the rise and fall of his chest so close to true breathing, the fact that they could still hold each other even while one remained a ghost. But the sound of his voice remains the same as always.
"You seem lost in thought, my dear." Zenji's ruby eyes glitter with gentle affection as he observes Haku. "Will you tell me about it?"
"It's nothing," Haku says, only for the rest of his excuses to melt away at a kiss to his forehead. It feels as real as anything.
"Tell me anyway," Zenji replies once he pulls away, smiling encouragingly.
Sighing, Haku glances off to the side at the curved tree. "It's... not something I can say aloud right now."
"But we are alone!" Zenji says, incredulous.
And Haku finds himself chuckling. "Yes. I know. But it's because it's for you that I'm struggling to say it." They stop dancing and, with a tremoring hand, Haku draws a folded piece of paper from a pocket in his coat. "Here. Read this, please. I should start cleaning, or we'll never make it to that train."
"But these are not your vows from earlier?"
"No," Haku says, wandering off to start collecting glasses to take inside. "Just read it and you'll see!" he calls back before leaving.
To My Dearest,
While I like poetry, I've never been all that good at it. I've written this letter probably a dozen times already, trying to quote every Romantic poet you could name. And many of them, I find, are so sad in their works. It just wouldn't do because I find myself so incredibly happy.
I'm writing this version the night before our wedding. You're asleep in the next room over (I know this because I can hear you snoring) and the moon is bright. I have the window open and the breeze is so nice, even if it's also messing with the paper right now.
You know by now that I'm stalling. You've always known me better than anyone else, particularly my own family. And while you've felt like family for a long time now, I can't believe I'm—and yet I look forward to—officially making you mine tomorrow.
You don't know it, but I've been writing letters to you for years. It started in our third year at Darkwick Academy, when I thought I had ruined our friendship for good. Ruined any kind of relationship we might have had. I wrote to you almost every day for a month, and then I continued to write after, but I never sent anything. You know me, after all. I couldn't be openly honest if my life depended on it.
Keats wrote once about the harmony in silence—or something close to that. After years of writing to you what I cannot say, I think I've finally reached that harmony. In my silent missives, I've found a new appreciation for your endless songs. I want you to sing until I go deaf. I want to love you until the end of my life, and then even after.
I used to scorn fairy tales. They weren't real. I had experienced the real world with all its unfit couples, doomed lovers, and sex addicts. I thought that was all there is. You may remember that there was a time I never thought I'd marry, simply because I didn't think a happy marriage was possible. But I want to make a promise to you, Taro. The vows I read out tomorrow are for everyone else. But this promise is for you only, in the beautiful simplicity of silence as you read.
While it is within my power, I am making this our happily ever after, my dearest. I owe it to the both of us to believe in fairy tales again. And I promise you that in this one, the moon and the fisherman can devote themselves to one another, the heir to the shrine can know of the ghost's love, and the beast can marry the princess.
We will have bad days. Someday I might find I grow tired of noise again. You might detest my criticisms. But I promise to never forget the love that's bound us through life and death. If you ever fear that I will, come to me with this letter and we will read it again together until we both remember our happily ever after.
I'm going to marry you tomorrow. You'll see.
With love, forever yours, Haku
#haku kusagani#zenji kotodama#zenji kotodama x haku kusanagi#zenji x haku#tokyo debunker#tokyo debunker rp#tokyo debunker fanfic#��� references to meanwhile by richard siken and ode on a grecian urn by john keats#🎀 apologies for any mistakes I barely proofread this cause it took way longer than I thought it would to finish#🎀 everything is a rambly mess but that's kind of the way of letters isn't it??#🎀 also a lot of this is building off of prior zenji x haku rp threads#🎀 I was gonna write just one letter but decided we could have five. as a treat. the downturned and upright cards are a nod to tarot reading#🎀 and also represent my idea of the “bad” and “good” ending for zenji and haku here#the honor student is referenced but never named
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“I'm gonna find a diner, dig into the lore."
-
“Can I get you anything else honey?”
Sam gives a reflexive little jolt in the plasticky, vinyl seat of the corner booth he’s tucked into, he looks up and sees the waitress who’d brought him the solitary cup of coffee he’s been nursing since he arrived an hour ago.
“Sorry,” she says, voice soft, concerned little half smile on her face, “didn’t mean to scare ya!”
Sam feels warmth flood his cheeks, embarrassed. He really needs to get a better handle on his startle response, he thought he’d been getting better lately, with the Mark finally off Dean’s arm. But she’d taken him by surprise, absorbed as he’d been in a treatise on a specific subspecies of Vetala, native to the area he and Dean were headed. He’d told Dean he was going to dig into the local lore, probably this was digging too deep, but he enjoyed letting himself go down a rabbit hole when he had the opportunity. It felt like that wasn’t often these days, there was always something bigger looming on the horizon.
“I’m alright,” he replies, trying to sound relaxed “just a refill on the coffee if that’s ok.”
“Sure thing.” she leans in and grabs his cup. Sam catches a waft of her perfume, something warm and woody, hint of vanilla, and a floral scent of jasmine; a late summer’s evening lingering in the air just before dusk. Something flutters in the pit of his stomach, a sensation he’s not felt in . . . in a while. He swallows, watches as she turns and heads back to the counter. He squeezes his eyes shut, takes a breath, getting hold of himself. Everything drops away. Absently he twists his fingers together, thumb grazing over the palm of his left hand. His eyes open. The sounds and smells of the diner come rushing back: chink of cutlery on cheap china, low hum of voices interspersed with bursts of laughter, coffee and burger grease fighting each other for dominance. He drops his hands to the table, it feels solid beneath them.
There’s a small “thunk”. Another cup of coffee appears. Sam turns to thank the waitress, but she’s sliding into the seat opposite him. She smiles at him again, full smile this time, flash of pearly white teeth, and her eyes crinkle in the corners. “Hope you don’t mind?” she asks, sliding a plate with a pastry towards him. It's fresh and warm, little tendrils of steam coiling from it. “I know you said you just wanted coffee, but you look like you need it.”
“Thanks”, now that it’s there Sam can feel his stomach rumbling. He’d told Dean he was starving before he’d headed here, and then as usual he’d got caught up and forgotten all about food. He reaches forward and pulls the plate the rest of the way across the table.
“I uhh, I just finished my shift.” her voice is low, and she lets her false lashes drop slowly as she speaks, grazing her cheekbone. Oh! Sam looks at her again, properly this time, she’s pretty, really pretty, soft lips, cute nose, gently hooded brown eyes, long blonde hair that she’s just letting out of a ponytail. He hadn’t come here for this, and if he’s being honest with himself he usually would have smiled politely, said “another time” and then vanished off into the night. Certainly, he never would have initiated. He thinks again about the scent of her perfume, god she’d smelt good. Maybe . . . maybe he needs this. Something . . . uncomplicated. ‘You gotta learn to have fun. Seriously, it's pathetic’. His fingers grip the edge of the table again. Making sure.
“I’m Sam.” he mimics her same low tone, shapes his features into something soft and inviting, crooked smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, dimples flashing.
“Piper”, she responds brightly, pleased at the reciprocation. She gestures at the pastry, “You going to eat that?”
Sam breathes a tiny sigh of relief that she didn’t mean right this second. He finds this much easier if he gets to talk to the person first, get to know them at least a tiny bit. As much as you can ever know someone you’ll likely never see again. He’s seen Dean walk up to a girl in a bar, whisper something in her ear, and them leave together, all in the space of five seconds, he’s never been able, never wanted to do that.
He picks up the pastry and takes a bite. This isn’t something he does often either these days, eat something sweet. It's good. Soft and warm, buttery, flaky, a hint of salt balancing out the sweetness.
They chat as Sam finishes eating, sipping his coffee. Piper waves another waitress over and has her bring a cup for her too. Sam watches as they exchange looks, an unsubtle “you go girl” grin on the other woman's face.
Piper’s working here to save up to go to nursing school. And, God, Dean can never know about this, he’s already teased Sam once or twice about having a “type”. She turned 30 last year and just decided she wasn’t gonna stay in this middle of nowhere, barely-a-town forever. She, of course, asks what he does, why he’s here, and as ever he carefully treads around the edges of reality, he’s a repair guy, work takes him all over, family business.
-
They finish their coffees at the same time. She pushes her cup away, looks at him expectantly, softly biting her bottom lip.
Ok.
Standing up from the booth, Sam chucks a ten-dollar note on the table, covering her coffee and the pastry too. She grabs his hand and leads him through a staff door out the back of the building. She meets his eyes, making sure. That calms a buzzing noise somewhere in the back of Sam’s skull. He nods. He wants this. She leans in, pushing him gently up against the wall of the diner, rough brick scraping at his back through his shirt. Their lips meet. He drinks in the smell of her again, feels her hair softly brush against his jaw. Her hand snakes round and clasps the back of his neck, fingertips curling into the short hairs at the nape. Yeah, ok, he needs this. Piper parts her lips and her tongue licks across his, he opens his mouth and lets her in, tastes the lingering ghost of the coffee. Sam shivers. They pull back, foreheads lean together. Piper's breath tickles his nose. Unexpectedly, he lets out a tiny giggle at the sensation. She giggles back.
“I live a bus ride away and I don’t know about you but I don’t think I can wait around for a bus right now...” She starts trailing kisses down his jawline. A faint moan escapes his chest.
They could get a motel. For some reason though he hears himself say “car’s parked just round the corner.” Classy Sam! She raises an eyebrow and for a second he thinks he’s fucked it up, couldn’t exactly blame her. But instead she kisses him again, sloppy and wet, needy. And then.
“Haven’t done that since I was a teenager! Could be fun!”
“Me neither” Sam says. Dean is going to kill him. He slides a hand down her side to settle at her waist, his eyes drifting shut, just taking in the warmth of her radiating through her uniform. Something about body heat and soft flesh under his fingers contrasted with the cold chill of the night air is keeping him here, keeping him present. He fucked a lot the year he was soulless. He remembers it, but the memories are at a distance, a sickening disconnect between himself and the actions of his body. He has to be present for this.
-
The car is definitely not the most convenient place he could have chosen. It really has been a long while since he’s done this, at all, but in the car in particular because he doesn’t remember having to contort himself quite this much to make it work before! Piper doesn’t seem to mind though, so he guesses it's ok. He wonders vaguely if maybe he didn’t suggest a motel because of Amelia. The last time he'd done anything had been in that motel room in Texas that he’d never returned to. He doesn’t know if she did. He never will. So much has happened since then.
-
Piper’s eager to take the lead and he’s more than happy to let her. She’s straddling him, his head and shoulders propped up against one car door, lower back on the seat, feet pressed awkwardly up against the other door. She undoes the buttons of his shirt, leisurely, taking her time. She pushes the plaid aside, slipping it as far off his shoulders as the cramped conditions will allow, pushes his t-shirt up to his neck. Taking in the expanse of firm muscle she rakes her nails across his chest. His back arches against the leather of the seat. Piper gives him a satisfied smile. and gets to work on the buttons of her uniform, shimmying it all the way off, dropping it down into the footwell. She grabs his hands and places them firmly on her breasts. His breath hitches in his chest, she’s looking down at him, playful light dancing in her eyes, and her hair, her blonde hair, is cascading down across her shoulders. He’s slipping. He’s not been with a girl, with anyone, with blonde hair, since. . .
“Are you ok?” She whispers. Oh god. This was supposed to be fun. Fun and uncomplicated, and here goes his stupid brain making it anything but that. Pathetic. He blinks. She doesn’t really look anything like Jess.
“Yeah,” he responds, and he can feel himself blushing. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He means it.
“Ok.”
He slides his hands to her back, fumbling for a second to unhook her bra. He’s sure he used to be quicker at this. The bra falls into the footwell, joining her uniform, silky lace slipping through his fingers.
His hands cup her bare breasts, her skin is soft and supple, and now she’s shed her clothes he can properly feel the warmth of her. She whimpers as he brushes his thumb over a nipple. For the first time, he can feel himself truly relax into this. He wends a hand up into her hair, and uses the leverage of his hand on the back of her head to pull himself up to kiss her. She’s tugging at the fly of his jeans and he gasps softly as her fingers make contact with the hard length of his cock through his boxers. He lets himself feel every ounce of the sensation. He's here, in his body, it's his, no-one else's. The door handle presses hard into his shoulder blade. His free hand trails lightly across her stomach, and down, slipping beneath the fabric of her thong. She buries her face into the crook of his neck, smiling against his skin.
-
He's teetering on the edge, pressure coiling, building. He can't let go, he needs something more to ground him. As if she knows, Piper suddenly grabs hold of his wrists, her fingernails dig into his skin, sharp pin pricks of pain. It's enough.
-
“That was . . .” she’s still breathing hard, struggling to get the words out. Propping herself up, barely, her hands planted either side of his shoulders, looking down at him.
“Yeah,” Sam responds, he leans up and kisses her softly again.
She collapses against his chest, a buoyant little laugh escaping her. Sam curls an arm across her back. There’s no way this is going to be comfortable, for either of them, for long, but maybe they can just rest here, just a little while.
-
“Who are you?” Piper’s confused, maybe somewhat interested, voice rouses Sam.
“Oh!” Dean's tone of surprise rings out across the car.
“Ah, good morning. That's, uh, my brother Dean.” Oh my god.
“Sorry, Sam, I didn't - I didn't realize you had company. Sam can feel Dean's palpable amusement radiating off him.
“Can you uh, give us a minute.”
-
They’ve both somehow managed to get their clothes back on and mostly presentable. Piper steps a foot out of the car, leaning down to say goodbye. “Wait” Sam hears himself say. He pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Do you want my number?” He doesn’t even really know why he’s saying it. It seems like the right thing to do.
She looks at him for a long moment, considering it. “That’s ok.” Maybe she’s seen something on his face. “I really did have a good time though.”
“Me too.” He means it.
She gives him a quick peck on the lips. As Sam cranes out of the car he spots Dean hovering inconspicuously a few feet away, no doubt hoping to catch a fragment of their parting. He can be so fucking nosy sometimes. He already knows he’s not going to let him forget about this for weeks, at minimum. At least he seems to have settled on teasing rather than anger at Sam “violating the sanctity of the car” or some shit.
He leans back in, his head rests against the seat. Lets out a breath. He’d wondered if something would have changed in him. If suddenly he’d feel like doing this again would be easy. It hasn't. Maybe, someday. With someone more permanent. Someone to whom he could even begin to explain the tangled knot that wraps itself around every part of his insides. He really does still want that.
-
Sam's finishing buttoning up his red checked plaid. Dean slips a tape out of the box.
“Dean, I can explain what was going on -” How does Dean still have the ability to make him feel he has to explain himself, flustered like an awkward teenager? Well, maybe the car sex had something to do with that too.
The song starts up. Fucking hell. Yeah he is literally never hearing the end of this.
“Don't “Night Moves” me!” Sam's aiming for indignation but he can't quite get there. Sometimes his brother is just too cheesy to let anything outcompete his fondness.
Somehow he ends up singing with Dean. Plays along with the teasing. Uncomplicated.
“Digging into the lore. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Dean says delighted with himself at the quip.
Sam huffs out a little chuckle, tips his head back.
“Man, I needed that,” he says.
He means it.
#sam winchester#sam x piper#sam winchester fanfiction#spn#s11#OKAY#so i was thinking about Baby today and how I've always had a lot of thoughts about Sam and the one night stand with Piper#and then this happened???#this is the closest you will ever get to me writing a sex scene enjoy lol#(took me 10x longer to write that bit than anything else)#so like tell me if any of this is any good cause I'm even more nervous than usual#anyways just trying to deal with Sam and his very complicated relationship with sex in late seasons#my fic
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To @darling-ed, a treat for the @mcytblrholidayexchange!
When I saw you had requested these two from Harmony hollow S3, and that you were open to treats, I knew I had to make something! I love these two a lot, so getting to draw them was so fun!
I tried a couple things out (both writing and art) but decided to go with a more chibi art style! It's a bit simplistic, but I really like how they turned out :D
I think you can view this as either romantic or platonic (I know you requested both) but the intention was romantic! I just can't draw kissing for the life of me lol.
Anyways, hope you enjoy the gift, and hope you have a good holiday season!
#Harmony hollow#jacksucksatlife#seapeekay#Very fun to make this#started it about 15:30 yesterday and finished it the same day#so a pretty good time!#Love these two so much <3333#the vampire husbands ever#if I had had more time I would of loved to write a fic with them in a masquerade ball#but unfortunately my gift took a lot longer then expected lol#maybe I'll get to writing that at somepoint in the future#Hope you liked it o7
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Hear me out:
Kotoko adopted Es, and Fuuta went ballistic.
Rip Fuuta... he can never catch a break... Asdfsdf thank you for this, it was a blast thinking of all the ridiculous ways this could have played out! (One possibility I toyed with was Fuuta's competitive instincts take over, he fights her for Es, only to realize too late "*I* don't want to be responsible for a whole child WAIT") It's a similar format to the last one, with a knock-at-the-door reveal, but I still think it works 😂
“Don’t fuck with me, Es.”
“I would never.”
Lying brat. Fuuta knew they would every chance that they got. It was the reason he was so relieved that Es decided to find somewhere else to live after Milgram’s end. Fuuta had nothing left to fear from his former warden, but the others’ suggestions that Es become his new roommate still made him shudder. Three interrogations in a closed space with the rude kid were enough for him, thank you very much.
However, it wasn’t all a relief. He couldn’t help feeling concerned about who they’d gone to live with. Given how cryptic they were being, Fuuta would have been convinced they walked into the woods to find a furry family of Jackalopes or something to raise them –except, they showed up for this walk with clean clothing and internet access.
“I don’t believe you. You’re fucking with me right now. Why can’t you just tell me who it is?”
“It isn’t any of your concern. Hey, I thought you swore to stay out of others’ business. You turned over a new leaf and all that?”
“Tch. I meant other people’s business. You’re different.”
If Es had vanished off the grid like some of the other prisoners, Fuuta wouldn’t have cared. But they were here, near enough to arrange some lame meetup, which meant they were going to remain in his life for a while longer. And that meant, as the model citizen that Fuuta was, he felt responsible for ensuring they didn’t get themselves kidnapped by some creep.
He asked, “how much do you know about them, anyway? I mean, what kind of person can house a random weird kid on incredibly short notice? That’s definitely suspicious.”
Fuuta pulled the mask up on his face as they turned down a more crowded street. He knew people were going to gawk at his eye anyways, but it still helped him feel like he was blending in. With his thoughts on the injury for a moment, he was glad that bitch Kotoko was one of the prisoners who had gone off the grid. Good riddance.
“I promise, she’s fine. Not weird with children at all. In fact, she’s really good with them, which is why she could help me on such short notice.” They muttered, “but it’s not like I’m that young…”
“That’s still not normal. Is she some old housewife or something?”
“Ah, are you trying to do the interrogation this time? Actually, I’d say she’s around your age.”
“It’s just you two living alone? I’m still worried about Milgram coming looking for us again – can a girl like that really protect you?”
“Is everyone supposed to live with a big, strong man, like you?”
“Wha–!” Fuuta’s cheeks burned red. “That’s not what I –!”
“I’m only teasing. It’s cute that you care about me.”
That only agitated him more. “It’s not cute! I’m being realistic! One of us has to think about your safety while you’re just distracted by some pretty girl.”
“What makes you think she’s pretty?”
“Well, why else would you be so careless in deciding to live with her?”
All of the sudden, he saw it in Es’ eyes: that spark of mischief that Fuuta had come to loathe. He could never tell what they were plotting, but it was never a good sign.
Es held up their hands in mock surrender. They put on a ridiculous, overdramatic voice. “Ah, you caught me, Fuuta! I’m hiding her identity because she’s the most beautiful, capable woman in all of Japan, and I want to keep her all to myself!”
He groaned, but they weren’t deterred. “She’s got everything, I couldn’t risk you falling for her! She’s quite capable of defending me. She’s very strong, with protective instincts much like your own. She understands our situation like no one else could. She’s got intense eyes, and you wouldn’t believe her singing voice. She enjoys deep conversations, she’s a dog person, she –”
“ – now you’re being the creep! Just shut up, I get it already...”
When they finally had the decency to pull it together, they reassured him. “It’s all true, though. So there’s no need to worry about me. I’m in good hands.”
Good hands, his ass. In only a brief conversation, the caretaker had gone from sounding a little suspicious to sounding way too good to be true… meaning she was extremely suspicious.
“Maybe someday I’ll introduce you, if you’re lucky...”
He turned his eyes away. “At least let me run some background checks on her first.”
(He would just stalk her on social media, but that still counted.)
“You’re just going to stalk her on social media. That doesn’t count.”
“Eh? I have legit methods!” He hid deeper under his mask.
Even after the topic was dropped, after he and Es parted ways on an awkward goodbye, Fuuta was left thinking about this mystery woman. It took a bit of digging (and maybe a tiny bit of social media stalking) but at last he found where Es lived with this stranger. Contrary to what they may believe, he had turned over a new leaf. There would be no more hiding behind screens or letting others do the confrontation for him. Now that he was a changed person, he’d do the healthy and normal thing with this information: he’d march on down there himself and confront her like a man.
He made it all the way to the front door with his chin high. He knocked with confidence.
Then he began to shift nervously. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get the woman’s description out of his head. Sure, he was here to check on Es, but if someone happened to check him out at the same time, it was only right to be prepared… He straightened his shirt collar. He ran his fingers through his hair. He wondered if he should have covered up his eye to look more presentable.
The door swung open.
The surprise on Kotoko’s face was nowhere near the amount on Fuuta’s.
“Oh, for fucks sake –!”
From somewhere behind her, Es’ laughter rang out.
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#es#kotoko yuzuriha#the informal narration voice was a bit more than i usually do - i hope it wasnt too cheesy because i thought it was a ton of fun aasdfsdfs#in the first one it was cool to write kazui as avoiding naming shidou for pretty good reasons (he doesnt want to make amane upset and he#genuinely has a hard time talking about liking men after so many years of secrecy)#however. es has no such reasons. they are a little troll and their favorite activity is messing with fuuta. this is the most fun theyve#had all week. they actually hoped they could keep the lie up for a little longer.#i picture kotoko has chilled out a lot post-milgram BUT upon finding out fuuta once again tracked down a childs address she chases him off#(with es still dying in the background)#i firmly believe that bisexual fuuta my beloved would Not be immune to the idea of kotoko......#thank you for the request!!! adfsdf i hope you enjoyed#it took a hot second to write down but i was cracking up thinking about it the whole time#for the other adoption idea i figured i could spin it so fuutas government-job father had connections to help him get custody paperwork#but he doesnt come out and say what he needs it for so his dad just thinks his son is finally getting his life together and helping#someone else in need -- and fuuta himself doesnt realize right away that he just adopted a whole ass kid out of spite 💀#drabbles
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okay well tough and sweet ch2 is gonna be longer than ch1 by a landslide bc it's at 9.2k words already and i've still got ~2k words to go lol whoops (help) but i'm hoping to finish it today >:)
little snippet for ur patience w my inactivity tyyy <3
#tough and sweet fic#i was gonna split it into 2 chapters but idk i feel like it's fine as long as no one cares ab them taking longer to write lol#i say that but i posted ch1 less than a week ago + i'm already nearly done ch2 i've never written so much so fast it's got me in a chokehol#but i do need to finish ch6 of yad(iym) once i'm done this ch bc i'm neglecting the poor stalag babies <3#genuinely tho don't understand how i'm writing this so easily/fast like ik this is 'normal' for lots of ppl but for me this is Not#not mad about it just baffled why was this au what it took to get me in a writing flow like this. a twink and a dilf?? rly??
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FUCK what I said about the majority of significant changes to dialogue in Re:CoM being to adjust Axel's characterization, the most egregious change is actually this
(GBA CoM)
(Re:CoM)
if I had to guess, the reason for this change was because in GBA CoM, The Superior was a spooky, unknown being at the head of this Organization we had very little knowledge on, and for Vexen, the guy who runs his mouth constantly about how much better he is than the others, to be terrified of him, he must be some pretty scary dude. But then after kh2 we know him, it's Xemnas, he's very dramatic, he likes to talk to the moon, and the effect of your mind filling in the gaps about what "The Superior" must be like is gone. So it wasn't really necessary anymore, right?
(rest under cut because it's long)
Except... the way they changed it is so weird. In the GBA version, what's happening is pretty clear:
Marluxia tells Vexen that his project is a failure
Vexen demonstrates that he does not give a shit about Marluxia's opinion
he does care very much about The Superior's opinion, though, and Marluxia uses this to blackmail him into eliminating Sora- an action which is nonsensical, as the entire point of what they're doing needs Sora alive, making it clear to everyone in the room that he is deliberately sending Vexen to die
and then after that, when Vexen shows up to fight Sora, he goes "if you want to fight me for real you've gotta do it in the memories from the other side of your heart lol bye" and Sora goes "huh? other side?" and then it cuts to a scene on the top floor:
and then this gets more into subtext but here, Vexen has realized he's totally fucked and his only hope is to mess directly with Marluxia's plans (well, they were the Organization's plans, but it's pretty obvious by now Marluxia's abusing his power for his own purposes) by giving Sora more information than he should know. This does get the traitor gang worried enough to send Axel to go kill him (as opposed to just letting Sora take care of him, which was presumably the original plan)- he very specifically cuts Vexen off to keep him from saying too much (this is retained between the original and the remake)
Anyway, what happens in Re:CoM sort of follows the same order of events, but everything is changed slightly in a way that just makes things more confusing.
Marluxia tells Vexen his project is a failure and Vexen demonstrates that he doesn't give a shit about Marluxia's opinion, as before
Marluxia threatens Vexen with a weapon, rather than threatening to tell the Superior
this, notably, does not seem to faze Vexen very much. he continues to run his mouth while having the scythe pointed at him.
Xemnas is still leveraged- Marluxia points out it was the Superior who entrusted him with the castle
...even though reasonably Vexen would already be aware of this, and has still demonstrated that he has zero respect for Marluxia despite it
the lines about betraying the Organization being a capital crime are retained, probably because it's super relevant later, but then that line of thinking is abandoned in favor of Marluxia and Larxene just taunting Vexen instead
The part where Marluxia says "do it. you won't" could be seen as a sort of threat... if not for Axel's line: "You give a challenge like that to Vexen and he'll seriously want to eliminate Sora." It frames it all as though Vexen went to fight Sora out of some sort of pride.
And look, Vexen may have a temper and a superiority complex, but he's not stupid. They're obviously baiting him. Plus, what happened to him seeing himself as above the others and countering things he doesn't like with "well actually I'm higher ranked than you and also you're an idiot"? Is he that insecure in his fighting capabilities? I could deal with characterization changes doing him dirty if it didn't also make no sense in the context of the plot.
So now we have Vexen going to try to kill Sora, something that really makes no sense to do, out of pride. What was the purpose of sending Sora to Twilight Town? Also pride, over the fact that he managed to get that information? Giving the writing the benefit of the doubt, I could say that these nonsensical actions can be explained as evidence that Nobodies can have hearts and people with hearts do strange and rash things, but that just feels like a reach, which is bad because what they had in GBA CoM worked perfectly fine and made sense without any reaching for the "idk emotions make you do strange things" explanation.
It continues. After Vexen gives Sora the Twilight Town card in Re:CoM and Sora wonders about what the "other side" means, this is that version of the conversation the top floor members have:
...what? "If Sora disappears, that would mess up the Organization's plans"? what are you worried about? the only reason Sora would disappear is if Vexen killed him. there's no way they think Vexen being in Twilight Town would give him an advantage, right? they know he's a pathetic fighter. "Vexen has clearly committed a treasonous act against the Organization" HOW? HOW IS IT CLEAR? they don't express any worry about Sora learning too much, up until Axel says "I came to stop you from talking too much" when killing Vexen- and that being there makes it seem like they were worried about Sora learning to much, but if that's the case, why would they replace the perfectly serviceable lines in the above scene? it's just... baffling that they would want to lean into the narrative that Vexen going to kill Sora (which he'd been goaded into doing) is the problem here, because it just makes so little sense compared to what it was originally.
once again giving them the benefit of the doubt: Marluxia's real plan was to take over the Organization, and he saw an easy way to pick off one of the members, so he took it. the motive for stopping Vexen doesn't actually matter.
buuuuut it's the same as with Vexen earlier. Marluxia may be too self-absorbed and power-hungry to notice Axel is scheming against him, but he, too, is an intelligent man. he's plotted for a while, getting into Xemnas's good graces in order to be put in charge of the Castle. this is incredibly sloppy for him. I guess it could be said that getting so close to his goal would make him sloppy, but again, if they'd just left things the way they were in GBA CoM, I wouldn't even have to be saying this
in conclusion: GBA Chain of Memories' intra-Organization strife subplot is so tightly woven with calculated moves on all sides that Re:CoM changing certain things without taking into consideration the consequences makes certain parts of the plot fall flat and become far more confusing than in the original story
#kingdom hearts#kh#chain of memories#kh com#vexen#axel#axel kh#marluxia#larxene#the inevitable re:com comparison tag#conclusion 2: go play gba chain of memories right now !!!!!#me post#concocting a counterargument in my head rn about how emphasizing the humanity of the organization through their nonsensical actions is#a good thing#gba com leaned into how fucked up they are- kh2 showed us the rest of them- re:com backpedaled to give them a shred of humanity#see also: lexaeus's death differences between gba com and re:com#however#1. i believe making a kingdom hearts game make less sense on purpose is not a good choice due to its reputation of#already being incomprehensible#chain of memories is one of the easier plots to understand!#2. im not convinced it was on purpose. i think the only intentional one was axel saying he really was enjoying himself#and that this specific thing spawned from what i said about xemnas no longer being a spooky mystery#lexaeus's death scene change on the other hand was actually a change in characterization#and since it wasn't wrapped up in the nightmare 5d chess that this thing was it worked fine#3. if they wanted to show us the humanity of the chain of memories crew then they should've let them survive a little longer in 358/2 days#like. we don't know for sure how long end of kh1 -> start of com actually took. that was decided in Days#kh2 we saw a little humanity in all of its organization members but that's because there were lots of themes of nobodies and humanity there#days was extremely heavy on “hey these guys are all people”#but chain of memories' org members were written to introduce us to a group of extremely powerful and clever manipulators#changing that to add a little more humanity sacrifices some of the writing quality because they didn't commit to it
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Ooh and maybe Prime Leo 22. (Forced to Watch), I'm not sure if young Leo or Kirby era is better though...
ANGST PROMPT #22: FORCED TO WATCH
Make sure to vote for the Prime Leo AU | @tmntstorycomp
The planet wasn't very remarkable.
It is called Ulixes, and that was all they knew about it. Baba said that any information about it wasn't too important.
"Why?"
Baba smiled at that. A "surprise", They answered.
Right now, they were just staring. Ulixes looked less like a planet and more like... a mothership. They're familiar with planetary-like ships – the Technodrome was one, too – but something they learned is that planet ships is that they had to be in the same shape as actual planets.
This planet ship, however, was in the shape of an upside-down cone...
"Their mothership is weird," they say. "It's not in the shape of a planet... that could be bad in the long run..."
Baba placed a clawed hand on their head.
Ĝ̵͙̞̲̆͆͘o̵̢͎̥̼̊ő̴̟̹̎̋̚͠ͅd̵̝͂͊ ̴̻̅j̴̨̃͒̾͜o̴̡͌̈́̆̒̈b̴̫̞̥̅̽̃! They say, demonic mask off and smile on.
It was enough to get their to begin to wag.
D̸̞̣͑̆o̶͕̿̓͑̈́̾ ̷̧̪͍̋y̶̝̮̅͝ő̷̤͛ù̵͈͖̖̥͂̿͗̚ ̴̫͖̲̆̔̒̈́w̷̟̱̯̞̐͊͋̓a̸̩̿n̸͙͂́̊̾̌t̷͆̉̍̕͜͝ ̶̬͙͓̻͇̀̆̿ț̴͔̓͊̾ͅo̶̖̗̫̜̥͒̅͌͝ ̶̨̏l̵̥͙͙̿̈́̾͝ĕ̵̦̉̒͘̚à̸̳̈́ȑ̴͇̯̤̆͘ṉ̴̟̰͙́̀̀ ̶̧̙̬̩͒͜͝m̴̱̀ǒ̸̥̉ṛ̶̰̻̥̫̿̈̏̔͠e̸̯̾̌̃̃͠ ̸͙̪̼̠͑â̵̙͚͈͑̄͝b̸̘̟̝̫̑̔̕o̴͇̱̹̓̈́̃ͅù̶̦̖̬̭̂͒͠t̷̛͍͊̋.̵̯̘̋̌.̴̺̫̰̜̈́̈́͝.̸̢͚̄̒ ̸͚̈́ṯ̸͎͔̱̍ͅh̸͈͕̭́͗é̴̲m̵̨͎̼̳͍͐̏̏͐?
They nodded.
Baba smiled again.
"This is Uixes," Baba begins, Their voice was different now... it happened sometimes, Their voice changing from what it always was to... this.
"This is the planetary mothership of the Triceratons," They continue. "They were the very first beings We came across during Our travels alone."
"Prideful. They had a warrior's mentality. Giant, too. Our throne is the skull of one, you know." A bitter smile grew on Baba's face. "They enslaved Us, saw Us as nothing more than a being to be experimented on, something with no sentience or consciousness... and they were right! If for a bit.
"Back then, We truly were nothing more than just a simple creature, wandering between stars and galaxies, with not a care in sight. Sometimes, We wonder what We would've been like had the Triceratons not found Us..."
Baba scoffed.
"Thinking about it, however, sends Us into a state of... rage, as one would call it. Just a simple creature, with no more consciousness than that of an animal... that would be an injustice of an indescribable magnitude. Our captors had it all, so couldn’t We?
"So for millenia, We watched them. Their ways, their manners, everything that made them who they were.
"There was something that defined them, what drove them to do what they did – it was a phrase, just some words that meant nothing to Us then, but everything to them: strength always prevails."
"What happened to them."
Baba's smile was much more genuine.
And... scary...
"Oh, they're gone now. Just a few left. All of them were too frightened to leave their ship after We... thanked them for their generous hospitality." They sigh. "But, here we are. Truly, if it weren't for them, We wouldn't be who We are. The Triceratons truly were a race of prevailing strength."
They blink in confusion.
"Were?"
Baba smiled one last time, before their mask hid Their face again.
W̵̧̦̱͍̏͂ẹ̵̤̳̹̩̐r̸̨͈̙̼͑ė̴͓̻̠̋͘͝͠.
A snap of their fingers, and everything turned red.
They watched, eyes wide, as the mothership quickly began to disintegrate. They felt Baba place a hand at the back of their neck...
Screams erupted from everywhere.
Screams of horror, terror, pain, rage...
They were loud. Too loud. So very, very loud...
"We escaped their enslavement, little one," they heard Baba's voice say. "We made sure to pay our thanks in full and that their slaughter was as quickly as it was merciless."
The screaming got louder and louder...
"When the time comes, We hope that when We give the order, you will commit to it the same way We did..."
Flashes of blood, viscera, bones, and flayed skin filled their head...
They could smell the corpses, the rot, the stench of vomit, and spilled blood...
"But those times are still so far way, and you are still so very young..."
"You're sick. What happened?"
Kirby looks at daddy, brown eyes filled with worry.
"I don't know..." they sniffle out.
Daddy just bites his lip, almost looking like he wanted to say something, but he stopped himself.
Instead, he picked Kirby up, held them close, and began to rock back and forth.
"Alright," Leo mumbled as Kirby fell asleep. "Just for now, I'll let it slide."
#not me posting lore at 2 in the fuckinb morning#this took a lot longer than i thought it would.........#anyways!!!#sonny answers#sonny writes#prime leo au#bad end#kirby tag#angst prompts
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Hiiii thereee! Okay so I know you're a big Furilumi fan, so I was wondering if you could help me collect all the info and events that imply it, and their general dynamic and stuff??? Anything about their relationship in all canon or semi-canon content. I'm working on the Traveler x Genshin chars list again, and I'm honestly undecided on how to interpret Furina's feelings for the traveler, so I thought you could help :>>>
Hellooo~ and gosh I'm flattered that you think so.
I will say that while I am a fan; I'm not as die-hard as others maybe. I'm very much a characters-before-the-ship kinda gal when it comes to Furilumi (also in general with other characters).
Like if you were to put a gun to my head and ask me what is my top Travelver X Character ship "canon wise", Furilumi wouldn't even be top five. (also I am adult enough to admit that I'm very much wanting to fuck Furina a Furina x Reader shipper more than anything)
But even with all that, I think they are cute together together and they have an interesting dynamic that can be explored.
I'm wasn't quite sure how you wanted the information or how much you wanted. I'm just gonna go through certain moments from quests Furina & Lumine have been in together so far. And just talk about them.
Also if I forget a scene or something please forgive me!
When Lumine first meets Furina at the very start of the Fontaine Archon quest, she isn't being herself.
As we all know, Furina was acting as the role of Hydro Archon. So calling it a proper meeting isn't accurate, since I tend to believe we don't meet the real Furina until much late. This isn't just in reference to her identify, but also her true personality.
Also it was just basically Furina going "We are rivals now!" and Lumine being like "....sure I guess?".
But I thought it important to high light it since it does establishes their early dynamic.
Furina knows about what The Travelver has done and sees her as an answer to her problems;
She has been chasing the one trial to end all trials; the one case that is so spectacular that is will save Fontaine from the impending floods. And what better opposition than the famous Outlander?
And she says at much at Lyney's trial:
Although there is perhaps a bit of fear at what the The Travelver could do, Furina is sure that their face off will soon happen. And that the odds will be in her favour (even though she kinda doesn't know what she is doing lol), with her being determined to save Fontaine.
It is always hard to truly know what the Travelver themselves is thinking. But I would guess Lumine also views Furina as a means to an end. It is the reason she is traveling Teyvat finding her brother.
This shows that while they both are different, they are very willing to do what they can to obtain their goal. Whether that means playing a role for 500 years, or travelling all over the whole continent, they will searching through any scarp of information to find the answers.
While Furina does lose and is, from Paimon's own words: "...like a deflated balloon now." I think Furina is more sad that it wasn't "The Trial" more than anything. Especially since she is "...unable to contain her joy at seeing you and Paimon enter.", when coming to protect her while meeting with the Arlecchino. Showing that she doesn't have any ill will towards Lumine.
Granted this could be because Furina is utterly terrified of The Knave as well trusting in Neuvillette very much. But still that rivalry is put on hold. But from this little tea party Lumine starts feeling distrusting of Furina, thinking she is hiding something. And from the events of Poisson, this just grows.
While Lumine is willing to go through the plan with others to trap Furina, this is very much a last resort;
Lumine doesn't want to be feuding with Furina; this rivalry that Furina has thrusted upon them is something she doesn't want. And while Lumine is reluctant to do this, she knows there is no choice. The Travelver doesn't think Furina is a bad person. But they need answers, and as such it seems that they are both destined to be on oppositions at court.
But Lumine still tries one last time to get through to Furina.
This part of the Fontaine Archon quest is one of my favourites; this is where Furina's thoughts and feeling finally start to poke out.
It happens because Furina's greatest fear is coming true, but still. Pretty good.
Lumine is very much on to the act that Furina plays. She knows that is she isn't godly or uncaring as she may give off. Lumine tries to show to Furina that it is okay to let go:
If Furina had been quicker and had told her the truth, Lumine very much would have stopped the plan. But from what we know, Furina would have never told. She was dedicated to the very end.
Skipping to after the Hydro Archons trial and the crisis being averted. We don't get anything until Furina's story quest.
Story quests are in general kinda a mixed bag. They are can be great in show casing the playable characters, well character. As well as expanding on the world as a whole. But sometimes they just focus on the second part a bit too hard and the character suffers from.
Now looking back at Furina's quest, it probably wasn't as bad as I thought originally. Well at least looking through just the lines by themselves is fine (Paimon is still...well I have thoughts on how they utilise Paimon's character when it comes to story. They use her as comic relief/to lighten it up when it is not needed...But that's a convo for another day).
There are at least some good bits to take from.
The first being that the reason Furina even helps the Troupe in the first place is because the Travelver drags them (literally and figuratively) into the plot. By the way of hand-holding no less.
After the ordeal that Furina has been through she is actually quite reluctant to be out and about. Furina strikes me as someone who is introverted, this very well could because she has had no real personal relationships.
On topic of personal relationships, Lumine is properly the only person who knows about what Furina truly felt during her 500 years of acting. This is cause of Furina unconsciously trama-dumped on Lumine, but still. Having someone who has seen the many sides to you, can be nice. Furina can be candid with Lumine, not needed to put on a performance. But I'm sure Furina also feels it is kinda awkward. Because 'Oh archons this person knows all about me', it crates an unexpected power imbalance, which can make for an interesting dynamic with the Travelver.
Another good moment is when they are back in Poisson;
If there is one ideal out of the seven that The Travelver embodies most, it is freedom. Freedom is very important to Lumine and I think it's very telling when she tells Furina that freedom is her reward. She is saying to her that it's It's over, and that she is free to begin a new chapter of her life.
So I think it's no coincidence after this quest Furina ends up being a director in "Roses and Muskets". She breaks out of her shell a bit and once again comes along on the Travelver's behest. Granted there aren't that many scenes/moments with them since this was very Chevreuse forward event. This is also similar in the Lantern Rite, but we did get a cute diagonal where Lumine says "I have keenly felt the passage of time since our last meeting." so that was cute.
Unfortunately since Furina has only been out for 7 months we'll have to wait for more. Hopeful in 4.6 (if it follows the same patterns) we will get her second story quest, and that it's a little bit better.
But there are voice-over and teapot stuff! (Had to get these from the wiki since I don't have Furina fully unlocked. yeah yeah know)
These are pretty self explanatory. Just Furina wanting to spend time with the Travelver and taking about the next chapter of her life having Lumine in it.
I thought this one has particularly cute. Furina would make macaroni for Lumine.
This one is a favourite
Lumine only needs her.
Now on to the teapot, there is a very cute scene where Furina talks about teaching Lumine to dance;
Another where Furina talks about them doing acting together and writing a script.
And that's all I can find! Like I said, I probably missed some stuff, but I think I'll call it quits here. I hope I was able to get the info you needed, but if not you can ask my specific questions if need be.
Also I'd love to the list when you are done!!!
#genshin#genshin impact#furina#lumine#lumifuri#furilumi#lumine x furina#gi#evelynpr#teyvasks#genshin analysis#this took a bit longer than i thought#and i wrote way more than i thought i would too#i feel like a talked about a lot of stuff but maybe didn't answer questions??#but like i said just ask me specific ones or need me to clarify#well thats enough writing/research for today i'm gonna eat now
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here, have an excerpt of this mishanks fic that i just got back into writing (i wrote a lot of it back in feb). it's a bonded dreams au, but they don't realize for a long time that it's really them haha. :)) they are 11 and 15 in this snippet, and shanks is a lil hawkeyes fanboy. 🦅🗡
#rei rambles#rei writes#mishanks#akataka#so much of this fic is just meandering cuz i wrote a lot of it when i was occupying myself on planes or in airports#so like. if i had to draw the tension of this fic as a graph it'd basically be a straight line lmao. no tension only vibes.#but it's so much longer than im used to my fics being.#anyways i suppose i could use a distraction from worrying about my hand as well.#my doc apt is next week so im trying to save drawing for my most mandatory deadlines.#i already took last week off hoping it was just a one-time strain thing but my hand complained so loud after my draeing sesh yesterday 😭😭#so on break it is! hopefully whatever it is is manageable and i can still draw everything i want to when i want to 🥲🥲🥲
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So glad ur back & I hope you’re doing well! I recently have been listening to a lot of Alex G and his song No Bitterness is so ash coded… “my teacher is a child with a big smile, no bitterness”… ash healing his inner child by being a good big brother to Michael :’) could be a good idea for a fic <3 your writing is amazing and I hope life is treating you better!!!!
Ash knows that jaded isn't a bad word to describe him, in more ways than one.
There's the color, of course. Jade. His middle name. But beyond that, Ash knows that he's ... disillusioned, shall he say, with the world around him. Jaded. It makes sense, when you've seen the things he has.
Ash wasn't out of place with this, at least not for a long time. Most of the people around him were also disillusioned. They'd all seen shit in some way or another, though hopefully few as bad as Ash. They saw past the sparkling NYC lights and into the filth coating every inch of the city, no matter how high the tax brackets became in some areas. They saw past the smiles to the teeth, and past the outstretched hands to the claws.
Ash tried to protect Skip's innocence in as many was as he could, but he was always a bit late to that. And Ash got Skipper killed in the end, so maybe he didn't do much good.
Eiji was one of the first people Ash met—past Griff, at least—who didn't share that same jadedness as he did. But there were more, after him. Well, not after, because Eiji stayed by Ash's side. But there were more people since meeting Eiji who also seemed ... hopeful, almost.
Max, stupidly, despite the war he'd been a part of. Jessica, despite the harm Ash just existing caused her. Ibe, who always seemed more than a touch overwhelmed by everything taking place in the States.
And, of course, Michael.
Michael is a little younger than Skip had been, and around the same age that Ash gained his current perspective on life. Ash is determined to not let the same happen to Michael.
When he stays over at Max and Jessica's place, Ash has his own room—the guest room, really, but they always tell him it's his whenever he wants it. This guest room is upstairs in the house, and shares a wall with Michael's room. Ash worries about this sometimes, since he knows his nightmares aren't always quiet. After the time he punched Bones' teeth out when the kid tried to wake him up from a nightmare, Ash made sure the gang stayed away from him when he was asleep, no matter how much pain he seemed to be in.
Max and Jessica told Ash that he was welcome to use the lock on the guest room door. At first, Ash was hesitant. After all, this isn't his house. This isn't his room. How could he lock the people who live here out?
It was Michael, in the end, who changed Ash's mind. Not that Michael actually did anything, but Ash realized that with them sharing a wall, there was a chance Michael would hear one of Ash's nightmares and go to check on him. Ash, of course, couldn't let that happen, so he started locking the door.
It didn't occur to Ash until it happened that he might be able to hear Michael's nightmares through the wall, too.
Stupidly, it didn't really occur to Ash that 'normal' kids like Michael even had nightmares. Not that Michael hasn't had more than his fair share of pain, much of it due to Ash's influence himself. He really should have known better ...
Still, the first time he hears Michael cry out in his sleep, Ash finds his hand reaching for a gun that's no longer there.
"Michael?" Ash calls, cautiously. Is there an intruder?
"M-Mommy," Michael says. His voice is muffled by sleep and the wall between them.
Without another thought, Ash makes his way toward Michael's room.
He might not have his gun anymore, and it might be too late for him. But as long as there's still goodness in this world—as long as there are still kids like Michael, and the potential for them to grow into adults who are better than Ash—
Then maybe Ash can push aside his own bitterness, those past memories that have jaded him, in favor of learning from someone who's never tasted their own blood on someone else's tongue.
#banana fish#ash lynx#michael banana fish#michael glenreed#prompt fill#answers#anon#sorry this took so long!#it's taking me a while to get back into the swing of writing#this could have gotten a lot longer but i wanted to try to keep it drabble-length for now hehe
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