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wolfgoddess77 · 7 years

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Temptation of the Moon

Kingdom Hearts Saix/Reader

Word count: 17,341

Rating: Explicit (NSFW)

Summary: An offhand comment from Larxene plants the notion in your head to pursue the cold Luna Diviner, but he has other plans.

(Originally posted on Archive of Our Own.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any related characters, nor do I own you. No money is made from the writing of this story.

Saix was in the Addled Impasse, gazing at the glow of Kingdom Hearts through the large windows. He was as close as he ever got to relaxing when the Dusk scurried up to him. It paused a short distance away, its body almost seeming to float as it stood on its spindly legs, watching him. He turned his head to look at it, and the message it had brought to him was sent into his mind. It was a bit disconcerting to some, how the Dusks communicated; they were intelligent enough to act as emissaries, as long it wasn’t overly complicated. But the way they spoke…their words were transmitted directly into the mind of the one they were speaking to. For Saix, though, it had never bothered him.

“A summons?” It had been a while since the Superior had called a meeting; something must have happened. He turned to face the creature. “Message received. You may go.” The Dusk turned, half-hovering its way out of the room. When it was gone, he called forth a Corridor of Darkness, and the black tendrils swallowed him up, bringing him to the room known as Where Nothing Gathers. A circle of tall, throne-like chairs were placed in a ring around a raised dais, and as the portal deposited him in the seat that had been assigned to him, he realized that all but one of the others were empty. Not a meeting, then. A summons specifically for him.

To his right, seated in the highest chair, was Xemnas, the leader of the Organization. As Saix appeared, he turned his head, and amber met gold as their gazes met. The silver-haired man didn’t waste any time explaining why he had asked for his second-in-command. “A new Nobody has been born in the town once known as Radiant Garden,” he said. “You are to go and retrieve her.” Something that could never be explained about Xemnas was that he always seemed to know immediately when a Nobody appeared in one of the worlds. Whether he had Dusks out on constant reconnaissance, or if he had some kind of sixth sense that none of the others possessed, it never failed that he was aware of their presence very quickly after their birth. He always sent someone out to collect them, and bring them into the fold. It seemed that Saix’s turn had finally come for retrieval.

His eyes narrowed. “Radiant Garden… That town seems to be a cursed place for Nobodies.”

At his words, Xemnas gave a humorless chuckle. “Cursed or not, it has provided us with another member. It’s been quite useful in that aspect. For that, at least, we should be grateful.” He waved one arm. “You’re dismissed.”

Closing his eyes, Saix pulled his hood up over his head, and vanished in a swirl of black light. Within moments, he found himself standing in the center of the town that had become Hollow Bastion. He looked around, taking in the dilapidated surroundings. For a moment, he almost felt a twinge of pity. This place had been lovely once, but that was a long time ago, in another life. “Now look what’s become of it,” he murmured to himself.

Turning, he began to walk through the winding streets, searching for any sign of the newest Organization member. As he walked, he couldn’t help but think of how the town had once looked, back before the buildings had fallen into disrepair, and the walls had crumbled. He could still recall his former life, when he was complete, but this place no longer meant anything to him. Sentimentality was wasted on a Nobody, even if he couldn’t stop the memories from resurfacing every now and then.

As he explored the town, the minutes dragged on, turning into one hour, then two. He was running out of places to search, and still, he had found nothing. It was after dark, so most of the denizens of the town were in their homes, and the only thing roaming the streets was the occasional stray Heartless, which were easily dispatched. But Xemnas had never been wrong before; there was a Nobody here…somewhere.

Finally, he came to the outskirts of the town, which overlooked a deep ravine. It was the one place he hadn’t searched yet. “I wonder…” The only living beings to be found there were the creatures that spawned from the darkness, but if anyone was to lose their heart, it might be somewhere like that.

Saix walked down the sloping pathway that led down into the ravine, his golden eyes scanning the barren landscape. Finally, his gaze landed on your still form. You were curled up at the base of one of the cliffs, and based on your position, you hadn’t gotten there just by walking. Making his way over to you, he knelt down at your side, pushing his hood back off of his head. He reached out, carefully turning you onto your back. You were breathing, but unconscious. “How did you survive the fall from the cliff?” he asked, even knowing that you wouldn’t be able to hear him. Sliding an arm beneath your shoulders, he lifted you up to get a better look at you. Apart from some particles of dust that clung to you in places, there were no scrapes or bruises…no wounds at all. Your bones should have been shattered from the impact of the landing, but you were completely unharmed. Which meant… “You didn’t survive it, did you? Your whole self was lost before you fell, and you were born here, in the canyon.”

Ironic that the attack that had fractured you had actually saved you from what would have been a painful death.

He shook you lightly in an attempt to rouse you, but your eyes never opened. That was strange. Was it possible that you were damaged internally, and he just couldn’t see it? No, he didn’t think that was the case. Your breathing was too regular, and your color was good. In fact, you seemed perfectly healthy, except for the fact that you wouldn’t wake. Xemnas wasn’t going to like this… But he would take you back to The Castle That Never Was, regardless.

Picking you up, he summoned a Corridor, stepping through it and emerging in the middle of the dais that stood within the circle of seats. Xemnas had abandoned his own chair, and was now standing at the base, waiting for the two of you to return.

The Superior stepped forward as Saix materialized, his amber gaze turning to you. Reaching out, he turned your face towards him, studying it. “Has she been like this the entire time?” he questioned.

“Yes, sir. I tried to wake her, but it didn’t work. I thought at first that she might be injured, but there’s not a mark on her.”

Xemnas was silent for a moment, thinking. “Take her to an empty room. Perhaps Vexen can tell us what keeps her unconscious.”

Saix nodded and turned away, carrying you through the dark halls of the Castle. At last, he came to a bedroom that wasn’t currently in use, and brought you inside, laying you down on the bed. He had just put you down when a Corridor materialized in the corner, and out stepped the Organization’s Number IV, Vexen. Xemnas was close behind him.

“So this is our newest member? Larxene will be thrilled to not be the only female any longer. But let me see…” The blond moved over to you, bending forward. He placed two fingers against your neck, feeling for the artery beneath the skin. “Her pulse is regular.” Quickly, he performed a cursory examination, checking your pupils and searching for any broken bones. He straightened, frowning as he finished. “The girl is healthy,” he told them. “As far as I can tell, her mind and body are in shock from losing her heart. I see no reason why she won’t wake soon enough.” He gave a light pinch to your arm, and the muscle beneath tightened. “You see? She responds to painful stimuli. It’s only a matter of time.”

Xemnas nodded. “You may go, Vexen.” The emerald-eyed man turned, summoning a Corridor and disappearing into it. Xemnas soon left as well, going out into the hall and leaving Saix alone in the room with you.

The Luna Diviner’s eyes lingered on you for a moment before he followed the other man into the hallway. At last, they had found a new Nobody to join their ranks.

As luck would have it, Vexen was indeed right; two days later, you awoke, beginning your new life as a member of the Organization.

You were stretched out on one of the couches in The Grey Area when Larxene found you. She sat down beside you with a sigh, crossing one leg over the other and smoothing back her short blonde hair. “All of these missions are tiring me out,” she said, more to herself than to you. “After a while, I thought they might slow down, but it’s been the opposite. I don’t get what the big rush is. It’s going to take a long time for Kingdom Hearts to be finished, and sending us out on missions won’t make that happen any faster. None of us can even collect hearts, anyway.”

Turning your head to look at her, you sat upright. “Bad day?” Larxene had always been one of the most vocal members of the Organization when it came to voicing her displeasure about something, but you had to admit, she had a point. Where before, you would have three or four days that passed between missions, but now, barely more than a single day would go by before you were sent out again. You couldn’t say that you were as upset about this as she seemed to be; there were very few things to do in The Castle That Never Was, and at least on missions, you always had something to occupy your time.

“Saix never lets me have any fun when we’re sent out together. He’s not a good conversationalist, either; most of the time, he won’t even say anything when I try to talk to him. All he does is mope around and stare at that beloved moon of his. He really needs to loosen up.” She fell silent, closing her eyes for several long moments. At last, she opened them again, and cast you a sideways glance. There was something decidedly sly about the way she was looking at you, and you weren’t sure that you liked it. “I wonder… Do you think there might be a way to help him relax?”

You met her gaze almost sternly. “What are you saying, Larxene?”

She waved one hand nonchalantly. “Nothing at all! I just thought, if he was able to relieve some stress, he might be willing to talk to our leader about giving us a bit of a break. It’s worth a shot, don’t you think? He’s handsome enough, even though he’s a little cold. But maybe all it would take is a little nudge in the right direction to get him to open up, and I think you’re just the right girl for the job.”

Unable to come up with a response to this, you simply blinked at her. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Larxene had a devious side that she liked to take advantage of every now and then, but she had never come up with anything quite like this before. Before you could say anything, she continued.

“I’m not saying you have to do anything, of course. It’s just a suggestion. But you might enjoy it, too.”

“I think that would be a very bad idea. Saix doesn’t seem like the type to tolerate something like that. You said he was cold, but he’s also…unpredictable. If I did something that he didn’t like – which could be anything – I might not walk away from it alive. I’m not sure that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

Despite your words, though, you couldn’t deny that her words had a certain appeal. The Luna Diviner was almost as much of a mystery as Xemnas, the Organization’s leader, and quite possibly every bit as dangerous. For a long time now, you had wanted to try to get to know him better, but you had finally come to the conclusion that such a thing was impossible. More than once, you had attempted the same thing Larxene had, and tried to coax the golden-eyed man into talking, with miserable results. Then again, you hadn’t tried all that hard, not knowing what he might do if you ended up annoying him. So it was possible that he would eventually respond, if you just tried hard enough.

Larxene’s eyes narrowed as she watched you; she could see the thoughtful expression on your face, and she knew that you were thinking about what she had said. “Anyway, I’ll leave the details up to you. Give it some thought.” The tendrils of a Corridor of Darkness swirled up around her, and you heard her laugh impishly as she disappeared.

You lay back on the couch, your mind whirling with the implications of what Larxene had just proposed. Seducing Saix… Was such a thing even possible? In the time that you had known him, you had never seen him show any interest in anything except Kingdom Hearts. Still, you found that you wanted to try. You didn’t really care about the agenda that Larxene seemed to be following; you could turn her suggestion to your own interests.

The problem was, you didn’t know how to go about doing something like this. You couldn’t just come right out and say that you were interested in him, but you didn’t know if you were capable of doing this slowly and subtly. It might take weeks before you ever got any kind of a result, and you didn’t want to wait that long. You would have to wait for the perfect opportunity to present itself, and then take it.

Unfortunately, that opportunity didn’t happen until almost a week later. Saix rarely assigned himself to missions, choosing instead to focus on the administrative side of things, rather than taking action himself. You had almost been convinced that you would have to catch him at a time when he wasn’t busy with his responsibilities.

You had just woken up from a nap when you discovered that luck had apparently decided to have mercy on you. You’d had a tiring couple of days; this particularly long mission had lasted more than thirty-six hours, and you hadn’t returned until after nightfall. Of course, the sky was always dark in The City That Never Was, so it was impossible to tell whether it was actually day or night, but by the time you had finally stumbled back into the Castle, you had been ready to collapse. You had barely made it back to your room before exhaustion claimed you, and you fell asleep.

Only a few hours passed before you awoke again, feeling a bit better. You made your way to The Grey Area, expecting to find it empty, given the late hour, but to your surprise, Saix was standing in his customary place in front of the tall windows. He turned as you entered the room, and gestured to you.

Arching one eyebrow curiously, you crossed the room, coming to a stop in front of him. “What are you doing here so late?” you asked.

“I was waiting for you. We have a mission,” he replied.

“We?” you repeated. This threw you. From the day you had been inducted into the Organization, you had never once been sent on a mission with Saix. Now that you thought about it, you weren’t sure that you had ever seen him leave The World That Never Was. Granted, there were periods where he disappeared for long stretches of time, and you didn’t know where he went then; was he just in a different part of the Castle, or was he somewhere else altogether?

“There has been movement outside the town of Hollow Bastion, and Superior has instructed me to gather intelligence. I decided to bring you with me, given your mission success rate.” While it was true that you weren’t the best at reconnaissance – that title belonged to Xigbar – you thought you were decent enough at it, and you were a bit flattered that Saix had chosen you. Then again, you knew that it was probably only because the Freeshooter was currently out on another mission. But you weren’t insulted by this. Xigbar was better at it than you, and that was a fact. Why send someone less adept when the master could go, instead?

But you couldn’t stop your brow from furrowing. Hollow Bastion… Why did you have to be sent there, of all places?

Saix continued speaking, pulling you out of your thoughts. “Are you prepared to leave?”

That explained why you were being sent out so late at night. With your black coats, you were less likely to be noticed. “Yes; let’s go,” you told him.

With a single nod, he reached up, pulling his hood over his head, and you followed suit. A Corridor of Darkness sprang into existence at your side, and Saix disappeared into it. You hesitated for a moment, then allowed yourself to be engulfed by the dark portal, which would take you to your destination.

It took only a moment before you stepped out of the Corridor, looking around you. It had taken you outside of the town, and placed you at the base of one of the ruined walls. Leading away from you was a kind of path that would take you into the dark canyon that surrounded the foreboding castle in the distance. To either side of the path were high ledges of rock. This was where Saix now headed, as you followed him out of the portal. As you walked, a cold wind whipped up around you, threatening to tug the hood down off your head. You had to reach up quickly and grab the edge of it to keep it in place.

A shiver went through you that was only partially caused by the freezing gust. This town always made you uncomfortable. It was the place you had originated from, before you became a Nobody. Seeing the once-familiar haunts through the eyes of an outsider was something you would have rather avoided. But the Superior’s words were absolute; you just had to endure it for a few hours, and then you could return home. Odd, that this town was no longer home to you.

Your eyes fixed on the closest ledge that overlooked the canyon, and you came to a stop. A strange tightness appeared in your chest, twisting almost painfully. It was here. This was where…

When he didn’t hear your footsteps behind him, Saix turned to look at you, and dimly, you thought you could see the gleam of his golden eyes within the depths of the hood. “Come; I don’t want to waste any time.”

You didn’t move, nor did you even seem to hear his voice. One hand came up, and you curled your fingers into the front of your coat, holding the fabric tightly. When you had been sent on assignment to this world before, it had always been in the town itself. You had never been to the castle, though you had occasionally glimpsed it from a distance. It was the first time you had been confronted with this particular place since you had become a Nobody.

“(Name).” Saix spoke sharply, making you jump as your attention was drawn back to him.

“What…? I’m sorry; I just… I don’t like this place. It reminds me of…things that aren’t mine anymore.” You tilted your head back, looking up at the sky. Although The City That Never Was was always cloaked in darkness, it was night here as well, as you had thought it would be. Reconnaissance missions were almost always carried out after dark, when it was easier to blend in. The skies were clear, letting you see the thousands of pinpricks of light that blazed overhead. In other circumstances, despite the barren land around you, this could almost be called romantic. Just the two of you out here beneath the stars… Except you were on assignment in a place that made you very uncomfortable, and you were half-convinced the man you were with was actually frigid. He certainly behaved like that a lot of the time.

“It’s just a place,” he replied. “It should have no power over you.”

Another strong gust whipped around you, and you shivered in response. In slight annoyance, you noticed that Saix didn’t so much as twitch. Of course he would be unaffected… Even though the material of your coat, you could feel the nip in the air, and the wind just made it that much colder. Lowering your head to keep the gale from tearing your hood off, you wrapped your arms around yourself, running your hands over them in an attempt to keep warm.

“Hasn’t that ever happened to you before?” you asked, hoping to gain some insight into whether what you were feeling had ever happened to someone else. Surely it had… “You experience something that awakens a feeling, or a memory?”

“We all have those memories; fragments of the lives we had when we were whole. But that is no longer who we are. Those lives and memories belonged to others. We have no need of them.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion, and you raised your head to look at him. His words weren’t making any sense. “What? But…we’re trying to create Kingdom Hearts, specifically so that we can have our own hearts returned to us. How can you say that we have no need of those memories and feelings?”

“As Nobodies, what we feel isn’t real. They’re simply echoes of those emotions we once had. They’re false, and as such, useless. Only when we have our hearts back will feelings once again have meaning. Now come; we have work to do.”

You opened your mouth to reply, then closed it again, realizing that you actually didn’t have a response to this. Even though you weren’t sure that you agreed with what he was saying, you could understand where he was coming from. It was also a possible explanation for why he was so cold all the time. If he thought that the memories of his emotions were useless since they weren’t actually real, it came as no surprise that he chose to suppress them. He hadn’t been able to do it completely, though. You still occasionally saw glimpses of them, especially when he lost his temper.

Finally, you stepped forward, moving to his side, and as you did, he opened another Corridor, disappearing into it. When you followed, you were transported to the castle you had been sent here to explore. The first thing you noticed was that you had been deposited on the outside of the structure, rather than within. Odd choice; did Saix do that on purpose, or was there something preventing him from going inside? It wasn’t impossible to summon a Corridor to a place that had never been seen before, just difficult; it could be done, with enough concentration. But neither of you knew what the interior looked like, and he probably didn’t want to take the chance that he would step out of it and find himself in the middle of a group of enemies.

The second thing you noticed was that there was a massive Heartless symbol decorating the front, over the main doors. How interesting…

“What do you make of that?” Saix asked, noting where you were looking. He probably had his own theories about what it meant, and wanted to see if you came to the same conclusions.

“The Heartless aren’t even close to intelligent enough to have anything to do with the creation of this place. But I don’t think it’s just coincidence.” You looked over at him, even though you couldn’t see his face, as it was still hidden within the hood of his coat. “Do you think it’s possible that whoever made this place has something to do with the Heartless? Is that even possible?” The Heartless were born from the darkness in people’s hearts, and created more by stealing those hearts, turning the people they took them from into more of their own kind. Could such creatures be controlled? What would it take to be able to do something like that?

Saix gave a soft hum, looking back up at the emblem. “I wonder…” Moving over to the large doors, he ran one gloved hand over them almost thoughtfully.

“Are we going inside?” you questioned. You had to admit, you were curious about what might be hidden inside. However much you might learn from out here, the real knowledge had to be locked behind those doors.

“No. We’re taking enough of a risk just being this close. Sending Dusks would have been the safer option, but I preferred to do it myself. Perhaps we’ll return in the future; for now, the exterior will give us enough information. We may find out things that will benefit us in later missions.”

You couldn’t help but narrow your eyes as you listened to him. A thought tugged at the back of your mind; it sounded like Saix knew something about this place. Whatever knowledge he may have had, though, he probably wasn’t going to share it with you. He had already spoken more than you thought he would, in any case. Not that you were complaining; you liked hearing him talk, rare as it was. His quiet voice was smooth and pleasant to listen to. Curious as you were, you would let him keep his secrets, so as not to risk him going silent again.

“How do you want to do this?” you asked instead. “The castle doesn’t seem to be too big, so we could probably cover everything even if we didn’t split up, but if we went separate ways, we could finish our assignment faster. The downside to that is, we’re twice as likely to be noticed.”

Saix’s hooded head tilted slightly to the side as he regarded you. “You’ve learned a lot from missions with Xigbar, I see.” Even though the Freeshooter was quite possibly the most friendly Nobody, he had never seemed very interested in teaching anyone else unless he was specifically ordered to. Then again, Saix had noticed that you’d forged something of a friendship with the Organization’s Number II, so perhaps that was why the yellow-eyed man had taken you under his wing and taught you how to best carry out stealth missions. Whatever his reasons behind it, Xigbar seemed to have been a good teacher.

You smiled, pleased by his (possibly unintentional) compliment. “I just want to make sure that I’m useful,” you told him. “I’m not a Keyblade wielder; I can’t collect hearts, so I had to make up for that in other ways.”

The Luna Diviner was silent for a moment. “You need not worry; the Organization will always have a use for those who are loyal.” Without further explanation, he turned away, walking parallel to the castle walls. “We’ll part ways. Explore the exterior as thoroughly as you can, then return here when you can go no farther. Kill any Heartless you encounter; if you don’t, they may report back to the master of this castle.”

You nodded; it felt like he was giving you another mission. He had always been the one to assign them, and you had become so used to this that you didn’t even think to question why he was instructing you further on what you should do. It seemed that he was of the same mindset; the orders came so naturally to him; he didn’t hesitate in giving them any more than you had in accepting them.

The two of you turned, setting off in opposite directions. From where you were, it was impossible to tell just how far this balcony extended around the castle; it was possible that you would find yourself meeting up with Saix again behind it. As you walked, you took note of the details of the structure’s design. The stone blocks had been kept clean, telling you that this place was certainly inhabited, even though you hadn’t seen any traces of anyone living.

But parts of it seemed to be built haphazardly; you could see what looked like copper pipes tucked away into corners, crawling up the walls. There also didn’t seem to be any symmetry to anything; some parts of the balcony were much larger than the others, and there were several different levels. What was more, some parts of the walkway were completely disconnected from the others, and you had to open a Corridor to get across them. There was probably another way, but you didn’t want to poke around and risk alerting anyone inside to your presence.

You had just entered one of the wider sections when you heard the sound of a portal opening, but it wasn’t the type that you and the other Nobodies utilized; this was a Heartless. Raising one arm, you narrowed your eyes. Black and white thornlike tendrils wrapped around your hand, manifesting themselves into a coiled black whip; your weapon, Fading Corrosion. You snapped it sharply, and it extended to its full length, more than twice your height.

Spinning around, you sent it lashing out, and as it sang through the air, it split into nine separate sections. Tiny black particles rose from its surface, disintegrating into thin air. The pieces smashed into the small group of Shadows that had appeared, cutting through them. The wounds began to writhe, and the edges crumbled away. Within moments, the Heartless were gone.

“Shadows?” Why had they sent the most low-level Heartless after you? You looked around, making sure that you hadn’t overlooked anything. These small creatures were completely expendable, so it was possible that they were just a diversion, keeping your attention away from something more important. But you saw nothing else.

One thing you had to admit, since this particular breed of Heartless was so weak, it took next to no effort to dispose of them. Your ability tore through them like wet paper. Your power was that of disintegration; the whip opened up deep wounds that would rot away the flesh of whatever it touched, causing them to dissolve into nothing. The stronger the Heartless, the more injuries it took to fully destroy them, and it was less effective on other beings, but it would still get the job done.

When you were sure that you were alone, you coiled your weapon back into a neat circle, and continued your exploration. You encountered a door, but remembering Saix’s words, you decided against seeing where it led, though you were sorely tempted. As you continued further along the pathway, several more groups of Heartless appeared, and you had to move quickly to ensure that none of them managed to escape, and find their way back to their master.

It was strange, though… This place had little to no security; even the Heartless were garden-variety, rather than the stronger types that would have proved to be a challenge. Nor were there any traps that might have prevented anyone from getting inside. Something wasn’t right here.

A sudden sound behind you made you whirl around, Fading Corrosion automatically lashing out to strike at whoever – or whatever – was behind you. You came face to face with a giant Heartless, its slanted eyes gazing at you malevolently. Its black body looked like a ragged, inverted teardrop, and it had two crooked horns curving back over its head.

So much for not running into any of the more powerful ones…

You had only a few seconds to take all of this in before the tendrils of your whip smashed into its side, carving out deep furrows. Its body trembled, and you thought you could see it pulsing. Too late, you realized what was happening. Your eyes widened, and you had only a split second to cross your arms protectively over your body. There wasn’t even time to open a Corridor, which might have saved you from the explosion.

The resulting shockwave knocked you off your feet, pushing you over the edge of the walkway you were standing on. You felt the sleeves of your coat beginning to disintegrate from the heat, but luckily, the material protected you from the worst of it. Your chest constricted in panic as you fell over the side; the ground was so far away; you didn’t know if you would be able to survive the landing.

You had experienced this before, some time ago. You remembered almost nothing of actually becoming a Nobody, but one of your last memories of being whole was the sensation of falling, and your entire body had been enveloped by a painful burning that had seemed to come from within your very core. Were you destined to repeat that fate?

No, there was still a way out of this.

Releasing Fading Corrosion, you twisted your body so that you were facing the rapidly-approaching ground. You flung your arms out in front of you, and a swirling portal appeared. The tendrils seemed to reach out to you, and you fell into their embrace as the darkness swallowed you up.

On the opposite side the castle, Saix heard the explosion, and turned just in time to see the Heartless self-destruct. On the edge of the blast, he saw you get thrown back, bringing your arms up to shield yourself. He watched in what seemed like slow motion as you fell over the edge, disappearing from sight. The last thing he saw in the lingering light of the explosion was your weapon disappearing from existence as you let go of it, and then the castle walls blocked you from view.

He summoned a Corridor of his own, reappearing where you had fallen, and looking over the edge. There was no sign of you anywhere below. The canyon floor was lost in shadow, so he couldn’t be sure if you were actually down there or not. Clad in your black coat, you would have been completely invisible.

But he wasn’t so sure you had actually reached the bottom. A Heartless of that size was dangerous, to be sure, but it shouldn’t have been enough to do any lasting damage. The only way that it would pose a serious threat would be if the concussion wave from the detonation had knocked you unconscious. If it had, then it was possible you had been lost.

The Luna Diviner’s golden eyes narrowed. The Superior was not going to be pleased with this development. He paused, debating. If you had indeed been killed by the fall, there would be little point in going to look for you. Your body would have faded away as your life fled. But on the other hand, you might still be alive, and gravely injured. It could be worth having a look, to be sure…

Just when he was about to make up his mind, you appeared behind him, stumbling out of the portal and collapsing against the wall. Your hood had fallen from your head, revealing your singed face, and the sleeves of your coat were tattered, as were your gloves. Apart from that, though, you seemed to be more or less unharmed. You could see very little at the moment, thanks to the blindingly white light of the explosion, and your ears were ringing. Everything from your shoulders down ached from when you had shielded yourself, but nothing was broken. Just very, very tender.

Your head raised as you heard the swishing of a coat, and the soft chiming of the metal decorations on the front of Saix’s coat. This startled you; he had been on the other side of the castle; he must have seen the Heartless detonate and come to find out what had happened.

He knelt down in front of you, taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilting your head back so he could look at your face. Your eyes were turned in his direction, but they were unfocused. “Can you not see?” he questioned.

“Only a little around the edges, and it’s blurry. Everything else is dark. That thing went off right in my face; I was looking directly at it. But it’s starting to fade some.” You could see his outline, where you hadn’t been able to before, and you followed the movement of his arm as he lowered it, his hand closing around your wrist. Before you could say anything, he had pulled you to your feet, making you wince.

“We must leave. Whoever is inside of this castle undoubtedly heard what just happened, and may come to investigate. But…this could still benefit us. We can watch from a distance, and see who comes through those doors.”

A Corridor enveloped the both of you, depositing you back on the precipice where you had been before. Saix released your wrist, sitting down on the edge and crossing one leg over the other. “Go back to the Castle,” he instructed you. “We have completed our mission, but I want to see if I can find out anything more. Your sight hasn’t completely returned, so you can do little from here on out.”

“No,” you said. “This is my mission, too. If you’re staying, so am I.” It was the first time you had ever defied him, and through your darkened eyes, you saw him stiffen and turn his head just enough to be able to see you. You had more than one reason for doing this; not only did you dislike the idea of finishing your mission without any kind of sense of completion, you also felt a bit vulnerable while your vision was still damaged. Being close to him somehow made you feel a little better.

Slowly, you sat down behind him, your right arm just barely touching his broad back. This little bit of contact made you feel steadier. “I don’t know if you picked up on it or not, but something was strange about that castle,” you said after a moment. “Apart from those Heartless, it seemed to be entirely unguarded. And we were a lot stronger than anything they threw at us. It was almost like…they didn’t care that we were even there. Maybe it was just that they didn’t know about us, but you’d think they would still have some kind of defenses, just in case.”

“I noticed that as well. Either what lies beyond those doors is not important enough to be worth protecting, or they believe that no one will be able to reach it. I saw no path to the castle; without our Corridors of Darkness, we might not have been able to get there ourselves.”

A faint shudder went through you, and you unconsciously leaned just a little harder against him. Your Corridors… That ability had saved your life. “They’re very helpful,” you said at last. “If it hadn’t been for them…” Your voice grew very quiet and distant. “That’s happened to me before, I think. Falling like that…”

“Yes,” Saix agreed, startling you. “It’s no wonder such a thing would awaken a similar memory within you. By the time I found you in the canyon below, your heart had already been lost, and you were unresponsive. But based on where you were, it looked like you had fallen from the cliff. I took you back to the Castle, where you slept for two days. But you remember nothing of this, do you?”

Your eyes had widened as you absorbed this new information. “You were the one who found me?”

“Yes. Superior sensed that a new Nobody had been born in this town, and he dispatched me. It took some time to find you, though. I assumed you were in the town itself, not outside of it. But there you were, at the base of this very ledge.”

At this you were silent, thinking over what he had just told you. “I never knew,” you said at last. “I remember a lot of my life from when I was whole, but then everything stops here. I was cornered by a group of Heartless, and then…nothing, until I woke up in the Castle.” You pulled yourself closer to his side, looking up at him. Hesitantly, you reached out, pushing his hood down from his head so you could see his face. “What about you? Do you…remember what it was like when you became a Nobody?”

He looked at you closely; your gaze was much more focused now, telling him that your vision was returning. “What I remember is irrelevant. You said this place reminds you of things that are no longer yours; the same is true of this. Everything we feel and remember belongs to other people. You are too attached to your lost past. Is it truly so precious to you?”

“If it wasn’t important, we wouldn’t be working so hard to create Kingdom Hearts,” you pointed out. “You said that what we feel is fake, but they’re the memories of what we could experience when we were whole. They might only be remnants, but they’re still real. They were once real. And anything that can make us feel something should be precious.”

“A Nobody’s existence is an empty one, and something you must come to accept. Until Kingdom Hearts is finished, you will feel nothing. Pretend all you like, but your displays of emotion are simply that: displays.”

A hot burst of anger rushed through you, and you straightened, pulling yourself up onto your knees. “That’s not true! I’ve seen it; I’ve seen what happens when you lose your temper. And I know you can. Are you saying that’s fake, too?”

The faintest shadow of a smile curved Saix’s lips as he looked up at you. “Look at yourself. Getting this worked up over something so inconsequential. Why do my words anger you? If you didn’t believe them, they wouldn’t affect you like this.”

“I won’t believe…that what I feel isn’t real.” If you did, then you would also have to admit that the comfort you felt from being so close to him was also fake. He might have been cold, and almost always unapproachable, but for all of that, you still wanted to be near him. That couldn’t be false…right?

Summoning all of your courage, you reached out, placing a hand on the side of his face and turning it towards you. The other came up to rest on his shoulder, and you could feel the denseness of the muscles that lay beneath the fabric of the coat. Because the garment was so loose on him, you had never been able to get an accurate idea of just what he looked like without it. However, the ease with which he wielded his weapon, a massive claymore that looked like it weighed as much as you did – and one-handed, no less – spoke of immense strength. The solidness beneath your fingers just confirmed it. But it also made you nervous; he was much more powerful than you were, and he could probably snap you like a twig if he so chose.

“They’re not just displays,” you whispered. “These feelings…are real.” Before you could even think about what you were doing, you leaned forward, placing your mouth over his in a kiss. For several long seconds, Saix was unyielding against you. He didn’t move, nor did he return your kiss. Disappointment replaced the anger you were feeling, followed closely by humiliation. Of course he wouldn’t respond to you. Really, you hadn’t expected anything different.

Without pulling away, you summoned a Corridor of Darkness. Just as the black and blue tendrils began to wrap themselves around you, transporting you to a different location, you saw Saix raise his arms. You had only an instant to feel his fingers brush against your arms before you had disappeared. Not that it mattered; he was most likely going to push you away. You just beat him to it.

When you reappeared, you were back in your room in The Castle That Never Was. You were still on your knees, and you felt the lingering warmth of Saix’s body beneath your hands; against your lips. Struggling to your feet and moving over to your bed, you let your aching body collapse onto it. You knew that you still had to report to the Superior about the mission, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move just yet. Your bed was so soft. Besides, you knew that Saix would probably do it himself as soon as he returned; there was really no need for you to do it, especially if it meant that you ran the risk of encountering him.

What had you been thinking? Bad enough that you had put your caution aside and actually gotten close enough to touch him, but then you had completely lost your mind, and actually kissed him. But you hadn’t been able to help yourself. False or not, your emotions had gotten the better of you, and you had given in to the anger that his words had incited within you. The kiss had been so sudden that you hoped it would make him respond, perhaps awakening some latent emotions within him, as returning to this place had done for you. But you had been wrong. In trying to prove that the emotions you were feeling were actually real, you might have inadvertently done the exact opposite; at least in his case. He hadn’t even had the decency to kiss you back. That was what made you the most angry. You knew that it hadn’t simply been a matter of him being too surprised to react. He had chosen not to do anything.

What did that mean, exactly? Was he specifically not interested in you, or was he disinterested in general? It had been proven that he could feel things, so it stood to reason that he was also subject to arousal, especially since that was a normal reaction of the body, rather than an emotion. Then again, it was possible that, in suppressing his emotions, he had done away with everything else, too. There was still so much that you didn’t know about him that you couldn’t even begin to make an educated guess.

Things had been going so well, too, and now it had turned into a complete disaster that you didn’t know how to fix. You would have preferred to keep your distance from him, at least for a while, but that wasn’t an option. He was the one who gave out the mission orders, so you had no choice but to interact with him, or risk incurring the wrath of the Superior. Maybe the best option would simply be to…pretend that it had never happened. The more you thought about it, the more you came to the conclusion that Saix would probably be doing the same thing. Just put this entire failed attempt behind you, and never think of it again.

…if only it was that easy. That one kiss had made you want more, and you knew that every time you saw him, that would be what you thought about. But it wasn’t something you could do twice, no matter how much you might want to. Well, on the plus side, at least you had accomplished your mission, even if the attempt you’d made to prove something to the golden-eyed man had been nothing short of a failure. Surely that counted for something.

For the first time in a very long while, Saix found himself more than a little surprised. It happened so rarely that he had been half-convinced such a thing wasn’t even possible.

Because of his status as second-in-command, the other members almost always kept their distance from him, and remained respectful, at least in his presence. Xigbar was the only one who ever had the courage – or the foolishness – to be openly dismissive of his authority. But then he had gone on this mission with you, and everything he was used to had been turned on its head. When he had seen you fall over the edge of the castle’s balcony, he hadn’t known what to think. He knew that a Nobody couldn’t be killed that easily, so he wasn’t worried for your life. But at the same time, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from looking for you in the darkness of the canyon.

Upon seeing you rematerialize back up on the walkway, he had immediately noticed the state of your sleeves and gloves, and the singe marks on your face. More curiously, though, your eyes were blank and unfocused. That had puzzled him for a moment, but just before you explained why you couldn’t see, he had realized; the brightness of the explosion had done it. In the dark night, your pupils would have been dilated, and such a sudden, large amount of brilliant light would have blinded you at least for the next few minutes.

When he had returned to the outskirts of the deteriorated town with you, he’d received another surprise in the form of you sitting down against him. He didn’t know if it was your brush with death that had made you seek his closeness, or something else, but he allowed you to remain where you were, rather than getting up and relocating.

And that was when it happened. He had managed to make you angry, and inexplicably, you hadn’t argued back this time. Nor had you left, as he might have expected. Instead, you had done something that he never could have seen coming. You had kissed him. In retrospect, he saw why you had done it. Kisses were usually born of passion, and yours had certainly been filled with…something; proof that you could still feel. He had been trying to sort through the separate emotions that you had put into it, and was just starting to respond when you had abruptly summoned a Corridor, vanishing into the swirling tendrils and leaving him alone, attempting to grasp thin air.

Saix looked down at his hands, realizing that he had reached out for you without thinking. It had been automatic, and he only noticed it when his fingers had closed on nothing, rather than your smaller frame. That was interesting. What had caused him to do something like that? Emotions or not, he could still want things, and in that moment, he had wanted…

This would have to be explored further. But it would also have to be done very carefully. If he went about it the wrong way, or was too forceful, he might end up scaring you off, and that had to be avoided. One of the problems was that he didn’t know what exactly it was you wanted. If you were looking for something meaningful, he couldn’t provide that. Not while he was still a Nobody. The two of you had only met each other after you had lost your hearts, and that made a big difference.

Still, there was an idea forming in the back of his mind. Even though you weren’t aware of it, your kiss had awakened something within him, and he fully intended to take advantage of it soon enough. It was like a switch had been flipped. Usually, his mind was consumed by thoughts of Kingdom Hearts, and the desire to finish it, so he could be whole once more. But now, other thoughts had intruded. Images of you, stretched out beneath him, his name on your lips as you were brought to the height of pleasure at his hand. What did you look like under that coat, he wondered? What would your voice sound like, drawn out in a moan? What would you feel like, when he was buried deeply in your warmth? A faint smile came to his face. This could turn out in his favor after all, if done correctly. It all depended on you.

Slowly, he stood up. The structure that now stood in the distance had been still ever since the two of you had left it. If anyone was going to come to investigate the explosion caused by the Heartless, they would have done it by now. He had learned enough to call the mission a success, so he could return to The Castle That Never Was and report his findings to the Superior.

As he turned, swirling black tendrils enveloped him, and he disappeared from Hollow Bastion in the blink of an eye.

The following night, you walked down the hallways of The Castle That Never Was, yawning. It had been a long day, and you were tired. As you reached the door to your room and went inside, you saw something lying on your bed. It looked like a small piece of paper, folded into a neat square. Curiously, you crossed the room and picked it up. When you unfolded it, you saw a single sentence, written in elegant, flowing handwriting. Come to the Addled Impasse precisely at midnight.

You felt your breath catch in your throat as nervousness gripped you. There was no doubt in your mind about who the sender was. Only one Nobody frequented that particular room, and that knowledge, combined with the rather formal words used in the note gave it away. You had managed to keep your distance from him in the past twenty-four hours, though you knew that couldn’t last. Soon, you would have to face him, to receive a new mission. You had been lucky that you hadn’t already received one.

Not enough time had passed for you to be comfortable facing Saix again. The embarrassment of what you had done still hung over you like a dark cloud, and though you knew it was too early for what had happened to be forgotten, that didn’t stop you from hoping.

Then the note had shown up, dashing your wish that your foolish decision had been left in the past, never to be brought up again.

It surprised you a bit that he had waited an entire day to say something. He’d had every opportunity to do so; you hadn’t been sent on a mission that day, leaving you free for hours, yet you hadn’t caught so much as a glimpse of him since you had left him on the ledge the night before. And at last, this was how he had chosen to contact you? You had never thought the Luna Diviner would be the type to steal into your bedroom and leave you a note. He seemed more likely to simply hunt you down and make you tell him what he wanted to know. Then again, perhaps the past day hadn’t been an accident. He was a patient man, and he probably knew that the longer he waited before speaking with you, the more your anxiety would grow. Now, thanks to your mission with him, you had opened yourself up to those kinds of mental attacks, something you hadn’t intended to do. Your chaotic emotions had revealed a weakness to him; he had likely realized that he could exploit that, if he so chose.

And he was right. Those who had emotions were vulnerable to having them used against their owners, manipulated to suit someone else’s goals. You were no exception, and Saix was a master at that particular ability. When you had first began to think about the suggestion that Larxene had given you, you had tried to convince yourself that it was nothing more than an experiment, to see if you could get him to respond to you. You had always been attracted to the golden-eyed man, after all. If your attempt had actually worked, well… You certainly wouldn’t have complained about that. But after that conversation with him, you had to admit that it went deeper than that now. He was one of the only ones who could make you react the way you did. It was ironic. For someone who claimed that the lingering emotions Nobodies could feel were useless, he was the catalyst that brought them out most strongly in you.

You didn’t like the idea of him toying with those emotions, and you had a feeling that he most likely would, when you went to meet him. But you didn’t even consider not going; maybe this would be the way to help things mend, even if they hadn’t technically been broken in the first place, just…uncomfortable.

For a long time, you simply sat there, gazing at the beautiful handwriting. You had long since passed the point where the words actually made sense to you, and still, you couldn’t look away. But finally, the appointed time came. Folding up the note, you put it at the head of the bed and stood, opening up a Corridor of Darkness. As you stepped through the portal, you couldn’t help but feel more anxious. You would have to do this very carefully, so you didn’t accidentally trigger one of the very few times Saix ever showed his anger. It was rare, but there had been a handful of instances when you had seen him break out of the calm persona he cloaked himself in. His scar would grow more ragged, his hair becoming wilder, and his eyes… Those molten gold orbs would burn bright yellow. And when that happened, anyone who stood in his way would be destroyed. Not that he needed to lose his temper to be dangerous, though. You had seen him slay Heartless by the dozens and never lose that calm expression on his face.

The Corridor faded from around you, and the walls of the Addled Impasse came into view. It had begun to rain outside, you saw; you could occasionally see the flicker of lightning through the floor-length windows across the room, and the glass was streaked with water. Despite this, you could still see the glow of Kingdom Hearts in the distance. But one thing was conspicuously absent: Saix himself. That was strange. He had called you here, so you had expected him to be waiting for you.

You crossed the room, stopping in front of the wall of glass, and watched the lightning dance across the sky. It was rainy more often than not in the City That Never Was; this place seemed to breed storms like the darkness bred Heartless.

Before you could think about this any further, you heard the sound of another Corridor opening nearby. You turned, and came face to face with the Luna Diviner. He stood only a few feet away, his golden eyes burning into yours as he looked down at you. Even though the two of you weren’t nearly as close as you had been that night, he was still near enough to cause something to twist in your chest.

“I had my doubts about whether you would come,” he said. “This wasn’t a mandatory meeting; you were free to refuse, if you wished.”

“If I wished,” you repeated. “Maybe I didn’t want to refuse.” You resolved to stay calm this time, not wanting to give him any more ammunition to use against you.

“Given your abrupt return to the Castle last night, I was under the impression that you were avoiding me, especially considering how adamant you were about remaining there with me, since it was ‘your mission, too’.”

There it was; you had been wondering when he was going to bring it up. This was going to be uncomfortable, and you had been dreading it, knowing that it had the potential to make things worse, rather than better. You looked away; once again, you weren’t sure if you had a good response to this one. “I did something stupid without thinking, and by the time I realized I shouldn’t have done it, it was already too late. So I thought it would be best if I just gave us both some space.”

“You regret what you did, then?” You thought you detected a hint of genuine curiosity in his voice as he asked this, and it made you immediately look back at him. You had thought to hear condescension, or maybe even amusement at your expense, as if he thought that you should be regretting doing something so bold. But there was none of this.

It was an interesting question. Did you regret it? Yes and no. You regretted doing it before you knew how he would react to something like that, without knowing if he even thought of you as anything more than another Organization member. You still didn’t know the answer to that one. While he might have been able to read you easily, the same wasn’t true in reverse. He could have been sincere, or he might have been toying with the emotions you had revealed to him. But you couldn’t bring yourself to regret actually kissing him. You just wished the outcome had been different.

“No, I don’t,” you said at last, making his eyebrows raise marginally.

To your astonishment, you were certain that you saw him smile. Finally, he looked away, turning his gaze from you to the glow of Kingdom Hearts above your head. “You know, I’ve been thinking about the conversation we had,” he told you.

He didn’t look down at you as your body stiffened, and your brow furrowed slightly. “What about it?” you asked warily.

“I haven’t changed my mind about what I said. I still believe that the remnants of these emotions are useless.” Those golden eyes shifted back to you. “I admit, since I became a Nobody, I haven’t felt the need for companionship. There was only one thing I wanted, one thing I ever cared about. But now…I’m curious.”

You decided not to point out the irony of him saying that he had something he cared about. Now wasn’t the time for that. Besides, you were more intrigued by what else he had said. “Curious about wh-”

You didn’t have the chance to finish your question. Moving so quickly that it was over before you had a chance to react, Saix reached out, placing one hand in the center of your chest and pushing you back against the window. He immediately stepped closer, bracing one forearm against the glass beside your head.

Your breath caught in your throat as he picked up a lock of your hair, rubbing the strands between his fingers. He smelled so good, you thought idly. You had noticed it during the mission the other night, but your mind had been on other things, so you hadn’t really had a chance to contemplate it until now. “S-Saix?” Your voice was filled with surprise, and perhaps a little nervousness.

His eyes narrowed slightly as he heard your tone, and his fingers went still. You thought you had managed to keep your face impassive, but he must have read something there that you weren’t aware of, for his next words made you pause. “Are you afraid of me?

The smart answer to that would have been to say nothing at all. Failing that, you might have told him that you were. It would have been the truth; when he entered his berserker state, he terrified you. He was unpredictable at the best of times, and when he lost control of himself, he was quite possibly just as physically powerful as Lexaeus. And even when he was calm, like now, there was always that faint wariness that never left you as long as you were in his presence. It was instinctive to keep an eye on him at all times, since you never knew what might set him off.

But you did neither of these things. Instead, you simply gazed back at him. “No,” you said firmly. You would never admit to being afraid of him, especially not to Saix himself. You felt like, if he knew, something would change for the worse. Last night, you had finally gotten him to open up to you, and begin talking. He had even told you some things that you hadn’t known about your origins. You didn’t want all of that to have been for nothing. But even now, you noticed that he was talking more than usual, which meant that everything hadn’t been lost. Yet.

He arched one elegant eyebrow, looking pointedly down at you. You could tell that he didn’t believe what you were saying, and it was no wonder, really. Your behavior said it all. Because of his close proximity, you had shrank back against the window, as far away from him as you could get.

“I’m not afraid,” you repeated, more firmly. To prove this, you straightened, bringing your body almost up against his.

“How interesting.” He let your hair slide through his fingers, bringing a lock of it up to press against his mouth. He paused thoughtfully for a moment, closing his eyes, and you held your breath as you watched him. When he opened them again, he released your hair, and the hand that was beside your head found new placement lower down. This close, you could feel his arm against your side.

“What I’m curious about is you. Bonds between Nobodies are impossible. But I still…” Lightly, his fingers brushed against your cheek. “I still want to know what would happen.”

You reached up, grasping his hand tightly. He paused, waiting to see what you would do. “What are you saying?” you whispered. Your breath was coming a bit faster, and you could feel a faint tightness in your abdomen. He was too close; you couldn’t think straight. How you wanted to kiss him again… But you didn’t dare. Not yet. You wanted to know what exactly he was up to first.

Saix’s hand turned in yours, and his powerful fingers curled around your wrist, pressing it back against the window. He suddenly wrapped his free arm around your waist, and pressed his larger body against yours. You found yourself pinned tightly to him, and your free hand automatically came up to rest against his chest, though you didn’t try to push him away. “It’s intriguing. Even believing what I do, I still feel the desire to claim you for myself.”

Before you could reply, he released your wrist, bringing his hand up and placing it against the side of your face, his thumb stroking over your cheek again. Because of the way the two of you were positioned, you had to look almost straight up; he was a good deal taller than you were, though he was still on the smaller end of the spectrum when it came to the other Organization members in terms of height. As you tilted your head up, his mouth crashed down on yours in a fierce kiss. It was nothing like the first time; you could have been kissing a stone statue for all the response he’d had then, but now… Now the kiss took your breath away, and your fingers dug into the material of his coat, clinging to it almost desperately.

You felt him move both hands down to your waist, and suddenly, you were lifted off the ground, then pushed back. In an instinctive effort to keep yourself from falling, you wrapped your legs tightly around him, your hands coming up to grasp his broad shoulders, even though in the back of your mind, you knew that he wouldn’t drop you. The pressure of his hips against you intensified, and you could feel a distinct hardness against your core as he held you pinned against the wall. He was aroused, just from this. But then again, so were you.

It was incredible, how fast things had suddenly progressed. As patient as Saix was, it seemed that he also didn’t believe in wasting time, especially when it came to something like this. Why hadn’t be acted like this the first time you had kissed him? He had made you feel thoroughly rejected, and now here he was, holding you up against the wall with his hips alone.

Because of this, his hands were left free, and he slid them inside the opening at the bottom of your coat. He caressed your thighs for a moment before moving up to your back. The material of his gloves was soft against your skin, and you gave a faint shiver.

Finally, he broke the kiss, trailing his mouth along your jawline, then down your neck. “You like this, then?” he breathed against your throat, licking at the tender flesh and leaving behind soft nips. You tilted your head back to give him better access, and the spikes of his hair tickled against your skin.

“Yes,” you replied, your voice bordering on a moan. His behavior was a bit strange; being the second-in-command in the Organization, he was deferential only to Xemnas, and for a long time, you had suspected that his dominant personality might be something that carried over into other aspects of his life, even if you hadn’t had any definitive proof of this until now. It was part of why you had been so attracted to him. He had been in control ever since he had appeared in this room, and you didn’t see that changing any time soon. But at the same time, his touch and kisses were surprisingly gentle. Somehow, the contrast made this even more arousing.

Leaning forward, he paused in his ministrations to whisper in your ear. “Nobodies cannot form meaningful attachments, so I can’t offer you anything more than physical pleasure…but soon, you won’t desire anyone else’s touch.” Seductive promise laced his tone, sending a tingle racing up your spine. “I will be the only one you ever want.”

You decided not to mention that, at this point, that was already mostly true. The Organization was largely filled with very attractive men, but you had never seen them as anything more than comrades, and in a handful of cases, friends. Saix was the only one you had ever truly been interested in. Ironic, really, considering that he barely had any feelings of his own. But you had to admit, what he was proposing was very tempting, whether emotions were involved or not.

“I will find every place on your body that responds to me, and I’ll use them to my advantage, drawing out your pleasure until you’re begging me to give you relief.” He leaned back, gazing at you seriously. “I can give you whatever kind of release you desire, but in return, you must be obedient. You will give me complete control of your pleasure; if you ever want release, you’ll come to me, and I’ll provide it. This is what it means to be mine. Is that what you want?”

You considered this. Giving him all of that would take a lot of trust; faith that he wouldn’t take advantage of the control you would turn over to him. You would be completely at his mercy. He was asking quite a bit of you. How long had he been thinking about this, you wondered? It didn’t sound like something he had thrown together on the spot. He must have been planning it for a while. It was possible that your kiss had opened the door to all of this. And to think, you thought it had begun and ended right then.

Some people might have been annoyed by the idea that you weren’t even allowed to touch yourself when you wanted to, but you weren’t one of them. If anything, his words only turned you on more. The idea that he wanted to be the only source of your pleasure was something that you very much liked. Not to mention that it would only heighten what you would feel; there was something about another person’s touch that always felt better than your own, especially once they had learned exactly what you liked.

“I want…” Your voice trailed off, and you looked away for a second. Saix could practically see the gears turning in your mind as you thought about your answer. He was patient, allowing you time to make your decision. “I want you,” you said at last. “And everything included with that.”

The shadow of a smile appeared on his face, and he curled one arm beneath your thighs to support you. With his other hand, he reached up, unfastening the decorative chain before taking hold of the zipper and drawing it down. When it came loose, instead of sliding the coat down off your body, he pulled you close, nuzzling your breasts, which were partially covered by the fabric. He inhaled, taking in your scent.

Your eyebrows raised slightly at his behavior, but you couldn’t say that you disliked it. It seemed even the cold Saix wasn’t immune to certain things.

His hand slipped inside the garment, pushing it aside, and your breath caught as you felt him envelop your nipple in his warm mouth. His tongue flicked over it, sending a trickle of pleasure through you.

After a few moments, he released you, trailing kisses and soft bites up the soft flesh, until he reached your shoulder. Suddenly, he bit down, hard enough to leave a mark, and you gasped at the abrupt sting. Your body jerked involuntarily, pushing against his arousal and causing a low growl to rise in his throat. The surprisingly erotic sound shot straight to your core, causing your blood to heat up in response.

“Be careful,” he warned, his lips moving against your shoulder. “If you continue to do that, I may not be able to stop myself.” Deliberately, he pressed his hips against you, letting you feel his solidness through the material of his pants.

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” you protested. “I couldn’t help it.”

“Is that so…” He kissed you again, more deeply this time. Grasping your jaw, he squeezed just hard enough to make you open your mouth. His tongue swept inside, exploring. Cautiously, you returned the treatment, twining your tongue around his. This was still new to you, so you didn’t know just how much he would let you do without him feeling like you were encroaching on his control.

Thankfully, it seemed that he didn’t mind this, as he didn’t put up any sort of a fight. But he removed one hand from your back, placing it flat against the wall. To your surprise, you felt the solidness you were leaning against dissolve as a Corridor enveloped the wall. A moment of panic overtook you with the loss of support against your back, but Saix was having none of it; he wrapped the arm he had moved around you, holding you tightly against him, and stepped into the portal.

When it faded, you realized that you were in a bedroom; his, to be exact. The room looked almost exactly like yours; bare, save for a single bed, and a large, square window that opened out onto the perpetually black sky. The only point of light in the darkness was the golden glow of Kingdom Hearts in the distance. But you had no further time to examine your surroundings, as he carried you over to the bed, sitting down on it and placing you in his lap, still facing him. Finally, he broke the kiss, leaving you breathing hard. To your surprise, you saw that his own chest was rising and falling more rapidly than usual.

With your chest bare, you were feeling at a distinct disadvantage, and you unhooked the chain on his coat. You unzipped the garment, pausing every few seconds to see if he was going to stop you. When he didn’t, you slowly slid it down over his shoulders, revealing the muscular frame beneath. He wasn’t as well-built as Lexaeus, but nor was he as slender as Axel or Demyx. There was an immense amount of power in that body; you could feel it.

Saix took his hands from where they were rested against your back just long enough to completely remove the coat, along with his gloves. Your eyes roamed curiously over his form, taking in the elegant sweep of his collarbones, to the clearly-defined muscles of his chest and upper arms. Just below that were the smooth ridges of his abdomen, framed on either side by sharp furrows that outlined where his hips began. You realized that your mouth had gone dry, and you swallowed hard, bringing your gaze back up to his face.

He reached out, and for the first time, you felt the bare skin of his hands touch you, sliding from your shoulders, along your arms, and drawing down the sleeves of your own coat as he went. Despite the gloves that all the Organization members perpetually wore, his hands were slightly rough, probably from handling his weapon. It seemed like the material hadn’t been able to protect his hands from wear. Not that you minded; the contrast against your smooth skin was very nice.

Slowly, your breasts were fully revealed to his gaze, and you noticed that his eyes had darkened in color. This was interesting. You had only ever seen them lighten, when anger got the better of him in battle. Now, though, something else had taken hold of him. This wasn’t anger, but desire. You felt a responding surge of heat go through your body as he peeled off the gloves you wore, tossing them carelessly aside, followed by your coat. Before now, you had always thought he would take care with his clothes, folding them up neatly, rather than discarding them like that. Under normal circumstances, that might very well be the case, but right now, he was too focused on you to think about anything else.

Now that you were fully undressed from the waist up, his hands suddenly slid around to your back, and he pulled you against him, capturing the peak of a breast in his mouth again, his breath hot against your skin. His tongue flicked against the sensitive flesh, and you gave a soft whine of pleasure, closing your eyes and leaning your head back. You reached up, twining your fingers through his long hair, and holding him close to you. He was more aggressive this time; you felt his teeth scrape lightly against you, and again, you braced yourself for the inevitable sting, but it never came.

One hand came up to cup the neglected breast, and he pinched the nipple hard enough to bring you to the edge of pain before letting go, only to repeat the process a moment later. His mouth released the other peak, and he moved up, nipping at the skin hard enough that at least one would leave the mark you had been expecting. At least he’d had the foresight to place them in areas that your coat would cover, once you replaced it. You didn’t mind him doing this, as long as they weren’t in places that would be visible to everyone else. You would never hear the end of it if Xigbar or Axel spotted them.

Your eyes opened, and you looked at him thoughtfully. He’d never said anything against you claiming him in return, and you liked the idea of it. You leaned forward, placing a line of soft kisses down his neck, and across his shoulder. Just as you opened your mouth to bite down, you suddenly felt him shift beneath you, and you found yourself on your back on the bed, gazing up at him in surprise. He was kneeling over you, his legs on either side of yours, and his hands curled tightly around both your wrists, pinning them to the bed next to your head.

“I don’t recall saying you could do something like that,” he chided, his golden eyes dancing with a light you had never seen before. It told you that he wasn’t truly angry with you, but there was something else to it…a kind of wickedness that had your stomach clenching with anticipation and a slight edge of nervousness.

“You never said I couldn’t,” you pointed out. Experimentally, you tried to turn one wrist in his hold, to see how much you were able to move. No good; he was holding you too tightly. You were powerless in his grasp. However, you had told him that you wanted him, and everything that came with him, and that had been the truth. You trusted him, more than you ever thought you would be able to.

That suggestion of a smile appeared on his face again, and he gave a brief chuckle. “True enough. But I believe you need a little taste of what might happen if you do anything to disobey me.” He slid your arms up until they were above your head, and shifted so that both of your wrists were held in place by one of his hands. Lightly, he straddled your thighs, his free hand tracing a path gently down the center of your body and making you shiver. When he reached the top of your pants, you froze as he unsnapped the top button. The fabric loosened around your hips, and then even farther as he popped the second one open.

Agonizingly slowly, he slipped his fingers inside, and he began to trace idle patterns on your lower belly, causing frustration to well up within you. The expression on his face told you that he was enjoying this. But really…so were you, even if you weren’t sure just what he had in store for you.

He slipped his hand lower down, and your body suddenly jumped when you felt him come into contact with your folds. A smirk came to his face as he watched your reactions. It seemed like you weren’t used to being touched like this. That thought appealed to him. But there was something he had to know. “Have you ever been with anyone before?” he murmured, his fingers gently caressing you.

“Not since I became a Nobody,” you admitted. Was he concerned about hurting you? Or did he worry that someone else had already gotten to you before he had? Well, he needn’t have worried, if that was the case. There was only one Nobody within the Castle that you desired, and you currently had his attention.

You inhaled sharply as he found the hidden bundle of nerves, and began to lightly stroke it. A hot burst of pleasure shot through you, and you quivered beneath him. What he was doing felt incredibly good, but you knew that it would never be enough for you to reach your peak. And that was when you realized that his warning earlier had been the truth. He might actually intend to make you beg. Or, if he didn’t go quite that far, he was at least going to draw it out long enough to have you completely frustrated.

The Luna Diviner leaned down, his long hair falling over his shoulders and tickling across your chest as he placed a deceptively gentle kiss on your neck. He lightly bit down, just hard enough to elicit a soft moan from you. Deep in your mind, you knew this tenderness wouldn’t last. By morning, you were going to be sore. You had seen the promise of that in his eyes earlier, and it was still there now, if you cared to look for it. As he leaned back, his gaze was filled with a hungry lust that demanded to be sated. All the while, his fingers were busy at work between your legs, his touch more firm than it had been a moment ago, so as to bring out as much of your pleasure as he could.

The muscles of your legs began to twitch in response, and your hips started moving in time with the rhythm he had set. The faint smile was still on his handsome face; it was quite a sight – something you had seen only a handful of times before. But just as soon as the sensations he was giving you had reached a steady plateau, he suddenly withdrew his fingers from your center, releasing your wrists at the same time, and hooked them into the loosened waistband of your pants. Slowly, he drew the garment down, making sure that his hands trailed along the soft skin of your legs. When he reached your knees, he pulled off your boots, and then your pants, leaving you fully undressed. His touch roamed back up your thighs to your stomach, where he stopped.

“Stand up, and go to the window, facing me,” he instructed, pulling away so you were able to move once again. He leaned back, regarding you, waiting to see if you would obey.

One eyebrow arched in response to this order, but you did as he told you, sliding off the edge of the bed and padding across the room. The floor was cold beneath your bare feet, and you shivered faintly. Before, his body had been close enough to you to keep away the chill of the air, but now you could feel it clearly.

When you reached the rectangular window, you turned around, folding your hands behind your back and leaning against them, rather than the icy stone wall. Every now and then, a bolt of lightning would cut through the dark sky, lighting it up for a moment before fading back to black. You could hear the sound of the droplets as they hit the window; you had always liked storms, and this was no exception. It lent a certain kind of intimacy to the entire situation, knowing that you were in here with Saix, sheltered from the downpour outside.

Your head tilted slightly to the side as you returned his gaze curiously. From a distance, you couldn’t stop yourself from admiring his form. The black fabric of his pants was a nice contrast against his lightly-tanned skin, and without the concealing coat of the Organization uniform, he was even more attractive than usual.

Somewhat to your surprise, you saw his heated golden eyes roam over your own body for a moment before he stood up, crossing the room to you. Placing one finger beneath your chin, he tilted your head back so you were looking up at him. He leaned forward, and his lips brushed across yours fleetingly.

At the same time, he took hold of your thigh, lifting it until your leg was pressed against his waist. You automatically reached up to steady yourself against him, but he didn’t pick you up the way he had before. Instead, the hand that had been resting beneath your chin made its way down your body, coming to a halt between your legs once more.

For a few moments, he simply caressed the silky skin of your inner thighs, never touching where you wanted him the most. Then finally, soft as a whisper, he stroked a single finger along your entrance. His eyes narrowed slightly as he felt the slickness that had accumulated. Slowly, he pressed the digit into you, and your warmth enveloped him, making the grip you had on his shoulders tighten involuntarily. He explored your depths, testing. Suddenly, he brushed against a certain place, and the pleasure you were feeling changed marginally. You jumped in response, making him smile.

His movements cautious, he slipped a second finger in with the first, pausing to give you a moment to become accustomed to the intrusion. You were snug around him, but not painfully so. Twisting his hand so that his palm was facing upward, he once again found the place within you that had elicited such a reaction the first time, and began to caress it, adding more pressure after the first few strokes. At the same time, his thumb went to the bundle of nerves above your entrance, and began to manipulate it, abandoning all sense of subtlety this time. He was no longer testing, but actively working you towards climax.

Shocks of pleasure rocked through you, and you closed your eyes, leaning forward and resting your head against his neck. Balanced on one foot, you had to rely on him to keep you steady, but he obliged without complaint. After a moment, a thought occurred to you, and you slid one hand down over his chest, until you found the top of his pants. He’d said that you couldn’t touch yourself, but he’d never said anything about not being able to touch him. And with his hands busy, he couldn’t complain this time.

Your fingers found the top button, and flicked it open. Reaching inside, you soon came into contact with his length, the skin hot against your flesh. You smiled as you felt him stiffen against you, and he twitched in your hand. It seemed that he wasn’t expecting you to do this. Good; you liked taking him by surprise. It didn’t happen often, and it always felt like a small victory when you were able to pull it off. These kinds of responses were what you had been hoping for. It seemed you had finally been able to break through the icy shell he usually kept wrapped around himself, since everything he had done since he found you in the Addled Impasse had been filled with heat, and even passion. It was a far cry from that emotionless kiss you’d shared on the ledge overlooking that canyon.

Slowly at first, you began to stroke him, your fingers gliding from the tip to the base, then back again. The skin was velvety soft, you realized, and you tightened your grip a bit. His breath caught; he wasn’t immune to what you were doing, even though you weren’t able to focus, thanks to the pleasure you were feeling. It clouded your mind, so you were only able to devote a portion of your attention to him. No matter; you would make up for it soon enough.

Though you couldn’t see his face, as yours was currently resting against his neck, you could feel his eyes on you; he was doing exactly what he had told you earlier – learning the places that caused the most pleasure in you, so he could use them again at a later point. He got what he wanted; it wasn’t long before your legs began to tremble again as the sensations slowly started to climb. He took a firmer hold on you, providing some additional support so the shaking didn’t cause you to fall.

You shuddered as the telltale beginnings of pressure began to build in your lower belly, and the hand that was stroking him went still; it was impossible to concentrate on more than one thing at a time like this. Your eyes slid shut, and your muscles started to tense as the coil prepared to snap. But just before you could reach your peak, infuriatingly, he stopped the motions of his fingers, pulling them away and releasing your thigh, so you stood on two feet once more. This movement also caused your hand to slip from his length, so he was out of your reach.

A breathy sigh of frustration and disappointment reached his pointed ears as he pulled you back to him. “We’re not finished yet,” he informed you. “Be patient, and you’ll have what you want. But I told you that I was going to show you a little of what might happen if you disobeyed me. I believe I proved my point vividly, don’t you agree?”

You looked away, your brow furrowing. He had left you extremely uncomfortable, and all you wanted him to do was finish what he had started, as quickly as possible. But on the other hand, you also wanted to give him what he wanted, and that was your obedience. You enjoyed his dominance, even though you knew that giving in to it meant you would probably end up feeling this way again. But in the end, it would be worth it. He had promised you that, and you didn’t hesitate in believing him. Saix was many things, but a liar wasn’t one of them.

“Look at me,” he commanded suddenly, and your eyes returned to his golden ones. He placed another kiss on your lips, reaching down and taking your small hand in his much larger one. Slowly, he guided it to the bulge you could see straining against the front of his pants. When he was sure that you were going to keep that hand in place, he took hold of your hips, pulling you backwards until he came up against the edge of the bed. He sat down, leaving enough room so that he could tug you down with him.

One elegant eyebrow arched as he watched you; he didn’t need to say anything more. He wanted you to continue what you had been doing. Even though he had denied you the release you so desperately wanted, you had no reservations about giving him more of the same pleasure he had provided you. Reaching down, you pulled off his boots, and then finished unbuttoning his pants. Slowly, you began to draw the material down over his hips.

You had to resituate yourself slightly so he could kick them off, but as soon as he did, your hand immediately found his hard length, and began to stroke him gently. As you worked over him, you leaned forward, placing a kiss at the hollow of his throat. He tilted his head back, closing his eyes. At the same time, he leaned back slightly, bracing himself on his hands once more. While his posture might have been relaxed, you could tell that he was enjoying himself; every now and then, his body would twitch with pleasure, and his breathing was a bit faster than normal.

Moving up his neck, you nibbled gently at the skin, but decided not to repeat the impulsive action that had gotten you in trouble in the first place. When you reached the bottom of his chin, you jumped suddenly to his mouth, raising yourself up on your knees and straddling him so that you were able to reach him better. He responded to the kiss just as fiercely as he had done before, and even gave a soft hiss when your hand tightened around him, taking a firmer grip. You had been hesitant at first, not sure how much pressure to use, but now you were getting a better idea, and were able to experiment a bit more as your confidence grew.

When you broke the kiss, you sat back down in the position you had been in earlier; in his lap, with your legs on either side his waist. You kept enough distance between you that you had the room to continue the motion of your hand, but at the same time, close enough that you could see his responses to your touch in detail.

And what responses they were. He was still quiet – not that you had expected any different – but you could feel the reactions of his body, whether he voiced them aloud or not. His abdomen was tensed, and occasionally, he would move his hips when you hit a particularly sensitive spot. It was very clear now why he had forbidden you from touching yourself. Seeing him like this, knowing that you were the cause of it… It was indescribable. There was a sense of power in it, to be sure, but there was also pride and satisfaction, knowing that you had the ability to cause your partner to be able to feel these things. You could get used to this.

As the minutes passed, Saix’s reactions to your touch grew stronger, until he couldn’t keep still any longer, and he was all but panting. But suddenly, his golden eyes opened, and he caught your wrist in one hand, making you go still. “Enough,” he growled, his voice rough with pleasure. “I’m still not finished with you yet.”

Your eyebrows raised, and you let your hands fall to your lap. This was unexpected. Not only had he denied you release, but now he was doing it to himself. The man had ironclad self-control; you had to admit that you were impressed. It was difficult to stop just moments before a climax, when every nerve in your body was screaming for it.

Something clicked into place within your mind then. This wasn’t just about him proving something to you; if it was, he wouldn’t have denied himself release. You knew what he was up to. By stopping himself – and you – from achieving climax, he was insuring that when he eventually allowed it, the feeling would be even greater than usual. This was something you had heard of before, though you’d never had the inclination to try it for yourself.

Until now.

At least you weren’t in it alone, though. He was now feeling every bit as uncomfortable as you were. But not for much longer, as he slid to the edge of the bed, kneeling down on the floor. Pulling you to him, he slid one hand up the center of your body, prompting you to lay back. As you did, he took hold of your legs, draping them over his arms. The bed was low enough that he was able to position himself at your entrance, and he gently pushed forward.

You gave a soft gasp at the feeling of him sliding into you; it was a bit uncomfortable at first, but he moved slowly, giving you a chance to become used to him. While he was doing this, he leaned forward over you, taking the peak of one breast in his mouth and running his tongue over it. Your own arms came up to twine over his shoulders, and you gripped him tightly as you felt him begin to move, rocking his hips into you, then back again.

The discomfort you were feeling began to die away as he established a steady rhythm. It was slow at first, until he was sure that you were feeling no pain, and then the pace increased, becoming a bit rougher. His mouth released you, and he trailed up your neck, leaving soft bites in his path.

He was now moving his hips with enough force to cause you to rock back against the bed, and a steady flow of heat was burning through your blood with each stroke he made. You could feel the pleasure beginning to spiral back into a knot in your lower belly. His ragged breathing matched yours, and you knew that he was feeling the same thing.

Suddenly, he leaned back, going still. He placed one hand on your stomach to hold you down, knowing that you were going to protest. Sure enough, when you realized what he had done, you tried to sit up, but he prevented you from doing so. Because of the loss of movement, your climax began to break apart, the pieces sinking back into dormancy. Again. For the second time, he had stopped you from finding release, one that promised to be even stronger this time.

“Stop doing that!” you cried, frustration filling your voice, along with a strong edge of desperation. You didn’t know if you could take him doing it a third time. Your nerves were already becoming more sensitive, and if he worked you up to the edge yet again, only to stop… It would actually be painful.

Saix glanced up at you, and in the dim light, his golden eyes almost seemed incandescent. Still buried within you, he wrapped his arms around your back, lifting you up. Once again changing your position, he placed you down so you were lying straight on the bed, and he turned you over so you were partially on your side, one leg bent at the knee.

He stretched out against you, his body halfway covering yours, one hand beneath your thigh to help keep your leg bent, the other curled around you, just below your chest. When the both of you were comfortable, he dropped all pretenses of being gentle, withdrawing, only to snap forward again, picking up a rapid rhythm that was more than a little rough. The hand that was rested on your abdomen slid down, and he located the aching cluster of nerves above your entrance. As soon as he touched it, a jolt of pleasure shot through you that was so intense, it made you give a soft cry.

“You are mine,” he murmured into your ear, his normally-smooth voice holding the slight edge of a growl. “Everything you’re feeling, everything you will feel…is mine.”

It only took a few more moments before the pleasure that he had denied you twice now began to reform, even stronger than it had been before. Pressed against him the way you were, you could feel that his powerful frame was trembling against you as his own climax approached. His fingers continued to work over the sensitive bud, driving you further and further towards your peak, and your mind grew hazy with the sheer overwhelming amount of stimulation your body was receiving. You couldn’t think straight; all you could do was wait for the inevitable storm to break.

And break it did. Searing pleasure ripped through you as your climax took hold of you, and you threw your head back to rest against his shoulder, his name a passionate cry on your lips as your vision went white. Your inner walls convulsed around him, and you shook in his hold as your muscles seized up as if you were being electrocuted. It was stronger than any release you had ever felt up to that point, and at last, you fully understood his torturous actions. It had been worth it, for this.

Saix was just a few seconds behind you, and you dimly heard him say your own name, though his voice was hoarse. He shuddered against you, clenching his teeth as mind-numbing pleasure rocked through him, setting his nerves alight. Even now, he was still quiet, you noted offhandedly. Well, you would just have to work on changing that in the future. For now, you were satisfied. More than satisfied; you felt like every ounce of ecstasy your body could ever produce had been wrung from you, leaving you exhausted.

For several long minutes, you lay twined together with your lover, trying to slow your breathing, and recover from what you had just experienced. Though you’d had reservations about him before, they had been swept away, and you were left with a feeling of contentment, even…happiness.

At last, you felt him slide out of you, and you turned over onto your stomach. He rested his head between your shoulderblades, and draped one arm possessively over your form. This feeling of being so close to him, not just physically, but perhaps even emotionally, too, was one that you knew you would never tire of. You could never admit it to him, since his beliefs were that such connections were both impossible and meaningless, but you hoped that one day, when your hearts were returned to you, they could become real, and you could share with him just how much he had come to mean to you. He was still distant, and somewhat cold, but you had seen glimpses of him that no one else had, except maybe Axel, back when the two of them were still whole.

Whether or not you would ever get him to admit it, a bond had been formed this night. Just as much as you belonged to him, now he belonged to you. Nothing could ever change that.

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