#the words in the right order.
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me and the Girlies (gn) about to make some objectively fucking terrible decisions in DATV:
#i have an terrible urge to make the worst choices possible right away just to see how bad it can get#like ripping off a bandaid or setting a bone#just fuck me up#i can feel better after#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#DA4#DA:V#DA:TV#solas#solavellan#egg disaster#p.s. don't nightblog or you'll put words in the wrong order
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my ideal timkon don't get together until they've both already done some queer realizations and dated other guys a little bit, in part because on tim's end, i think he's been in love with kon since he was 17, but at 17 tim didn't even know he was bisexual, forget anything else. and his feelings for kon were so big but also so constant that he didn't even realize they were there or significant because they've always been there and been huge. for years. so he putters along and does his time in the torment nexus (the closet) and languishes a bit but slowly starts to figure it out.
meanwhile kon dates someone, mostly like omg im dating a guy this is ALLOWED !??!?! and its pretty lowkey and casual and doesnt last bc like . super identity issues, right. kon would Never just tell someone, but secrets and casual relationships dont last long etc etc. but just the entire principle of kon dating someone and then being like yeah idk im not really feeling it like hes nice and all but i think hes more interested in like… yknow, my hot bod, than me. its whatever tho. and tim just being SOOOOO mad that someone would date kon and not absolutely adore him. tim will not be unpacking why hes so mad about kon having a shitty boyfriend. obviously its just bc kons his bestie and deserves better. (😶)
so he's just grouchily tinkering on some upgrade for his car to get the grumpy energies out. like WHATEVER! (angrily turns socket wrench) he's not saying kon should dump the guy or anything (angrily turns socket wrench) but he's just SAYING, kon can do BETTER!!!!! (angrily turns socket wrench) and kon DESERVES better!!! kon deserves someone who will treat him RIGHT!!!!! (angrily turns socket wrench) like if TIM was gonna fuck kon he wouldn't do it like a goddamn quickie and just fucking leave (angrily grabs the next size socket and scoots further under the car) like kon OBVIOUSLY doesn't like that so why won't this guy GET THAT!!!! (angry tinkering noises) if he's that shallow he can go find himself a sexy body pillow to screw!!! leave kon alone!!!!
and cassie sitting on a chair nearby is just like. sorry what was that? "if i was gonna fuck kon"? did you just say--hey tim? hey. can you go back a step?
and tim's just. obviously this is a hypothetical everyone considers about kon. look at him he's . you know. besides, tim's just talking as his best friend who wants the best for him! ugh stop trying to read into it cassie, that's not the POINT--
#rimi talks#cassie: only one of us HAS fucked kon and yet somehow *i'm* not the one who's ever started a sentence with ''if i was gonna fuck kon''.#like i'm just saying tim. i HAVE fucked kon. and i have Never Once said those words in that order. fascinating huh?#tim (rolling out from under his car to give her the most withering look imaginable): oh so you're saying you think that's fine then?#like you Wouldn't do better than this guy?#cassie: literally not at all what i'm saying but also DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF--#the narrator: tim would not admit he's bisexual for another 5 months.#a few days later dick finds him on a rooftop brooding so so so hard and goes yeah bud??#and tim with the most thousand yard stare in the world is like. i think cassie was right about something. but i'm not telling you what#timkon#its important to me that tim is kind of stupid. you get that right#he's stupid and cassie is his bestie who means the world to him and also IS going to point and laugh at him for this for the next 4 years#tim#kon#cassie
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something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line
“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”
“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"
but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.
he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.
his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.
ghost doesn't let him.
"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."
soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.
he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."
the ice in soap's eyes fractures.
ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.
“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”
#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him#but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’#after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister#but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him#hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that#so he has to balance it#and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory#if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all#reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders#and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead#only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface#he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity#instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order#and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back#and help him through the after#the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order#it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost#and its his touch that brings him back to the man#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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wish it was more socially acceptable to just... stop talking. not forever, just for a while. sorry. no more words today. all used up. don't bother asking me questions because all i will do is stare at you
#most of the time i do ok at socialising like i'm awkward as hell but i can do it#but if i spend more than 4 hours in an environment where i have to pretend to be a normal adult with a functioning brain#i will by the end of it be almost incapable of processing words or forming coherent thoughts or controlling my tone/inflection#so when i do have to talk it feels like i'm just making a sequence of sounds and hoping they're in sort of the right order#(they often are not)
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How do you find yourself writing your stories? Is it chronologically where you start at the beginning? Do you start with what interests you most? Something else?
Feel free to share for a larger audience size!
#I find myself writing the scenes I can ‘see’ and then put them in appropriately the right order in a word doc#then I go back and try and connect all my little scenes#but then I got to thinking maybe I was the weird one#poll#writers#writing#authors#** approximately. I’m not going back to correct it
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i just wanna say shoutout to my guys who didnt know they were guys at first, who didnt "always know"
my transmascs who were girls before they were men
my transmascs who wore push up bras and pretty skirts and dresses and pink
youre still trans, even if you werent always
#transmasc#trans man#ftm#this is about my specific experiences please dont like @ me about how transmascs can still do these things#im well aware and i have positivity posts for that! this is just about how as a young girl when puberty hit i overperformed gender#in order to fit in even though it didnt really feel right though shoutout to guys for whom it did feel right#i didnt develop proper gender dysphoria until i had the words to describe being trans
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(Clips from ep5, ep9, and ep16. Video length 4 minutes 4 seconds)
Originally was gonna just clip ep16 and the start of 5 but then I remembered how they were all being very sweet in their own ways when, you know. Their friendship makes me ill
#frost is like 'i gotta comfort my friend. people say nice words and hug and shit right?'#kremy is just like 'ive got to make a plan about this. solution finding mode activated'#and Gideon is like 'no plans im killing'#i can relate to all of those#in fact my way of trying to comfort people is basically in that order#you want tea??? do you want nice words??? can i help you???? can i kill for you????#gricko is really the heart of the group its so upsetting when he's sad and the rest of them are like. oh no#i love that guy so fucking much#video#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#ouaw spoilers#once upon a witchlight spoilers#gricko grimgrin#morning frost#gideon coal#kremy lecroux#hootsie grimgrin#in spirit#ep 9 clips werent tragic *sounding* but frost saying 'that really is quite heartbreaking' is so true#the clips at the ending make me wanna cry
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I think it’s so ironic that the Pony Express escapes a lot if not all blame in discussion. I can’t even say I am excused from it but it’s just how hard people circle back to the characters alone without considering the environment they were made to be in.
Why would they design a ship where only two of the rooms lock? Not the bathroom? Not the sleeping quarters? We assume that all the companies in the universe are this shallow and careless to their workers but we explicitly know the Pony Express in extra vile. They are fed processed slop pack they can’t even really cook and the ration of those pack is meager at best. They hired and made people with a plethora of conflicting demeanors and beliefs work together on a mission where cohesion is important if not an outright necessity and punish them for not being happy about it. There’s no social protocols, not chain of command other than Captain’s word/choice and the only way to enforce that is with a literal firearm. They don’t allow them to celebrate freely and even took away leisure activities that would make them less stir crazy. They are only allowed a few hours of sleep despite their being no other real responsibilities or work on the ship, no matter the position or its importance. With any crew, with any level of synergy, this was a powder keg waiting for a spark.
I’m not saying characters that made mistakes didn’t make huge ones, but I think part of the horror is that at least for some (this is targeting Jimathan) those mistakes are partly made by a force of the hand. There’s a running theme of lack of choice and being forced into something and the very nature of how The Pony Express expected them to function plays a big part.
#like even I forget that all actions taken in the game were people trying to remain in protocol outside of Jimmy#Anya couldn’t have jus stolen the scanner and got the gun cause she’s a sensible person and knows she’d be in legal trouble#or get everyone’s credits docked or just hoping that there’s some chain of command for this sort of thing#Daisuke only really acted in accordance to his direct superiors because he’s an intern he wouldn’t know the first thing about protocol or#what to do in any situation. like this is essentially implied to be his first real job#Curly may be the captain but he still has to follow rules and procedures and we see with the letter the Pony Express likely has very shady#and shitty ones. he gives the best not depressing or totalitarian options he can otherwise everything is just his word which aren’t even his#or like him just asserting his position with the gun which he wouldn’t do#Swansea follows the book begrudgingly because he’s trying to stay right and not fall back into who he once was#I feel like it’s not incorporated nearly enough that the environment they were dropped into heavily affected their actions#say there was a single person higher than Curly or a plan of action when a crew member is considered a danger to himself or others#I think it’s fascinating how people will stick to protocol and break when they get scared or to their limit#cause the game shows how normalcy deteriorates and I think discounting what the characters where put through by the company takes a way a#real and scary aspect of what happened to Anya because as a friend Curly didn’t do enough for her at all his comfort was there and he#appreciated but it was a distracted sort of care but as a Captain he didn’t protect her but he’s was a Captain of the Pony Express like what#if they told him to wait to? he still should’ve done something because Anya was actively suffering and Jimmy should’ve been reprimanded but#he’s a captain with orders like the Tulpar isn’t his ship in the same way like#god I wanna explain this in a way that makes sense but the Tulpar is like designed to breed animosity and work on the bare requirements one#needs to get things done that’s not how people work and if anyone deviates or interrupts that it literally has nothing to handle it#it becomes clear that if any social unrest happens why they just say fuck it and give the Captain the gun because if something happens the#blame can easily be placed on the person they put in charge despite what they put them#in charge of like this is just like work place harassment irl because often the perpetrators are not punished but the supervisors for not#stopping them with meetings or cuts or whatever but the environment the company fostered is rarely fixed or blamed#like why was this allowed to occur? and honestly that is because Jimmy did what he did#ask me about this if this is confusing cause I worded it crazy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#the pony express
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https://youtu.be/X01BsUPSD2M?si=MJxHeqxEAZx9jAuH
If you're not into comic reading, then i suggest this video! It's a motion comic, means you can watch the comic being read to you!
I wish they would have done the movie likes this! Logans trauma of the adamantium process, becoming Weapon X, his pain, being cut open again and again, dehumanized bit by bit, tricked into thinking he killed his captors, when in reality it was a ruse! If you ever wanted something more out of the origins movie, you gotta watch this!
#hugh jackman#wolverine#xmen origins#weapon x#comic#motion comic#marvel#logan howlett#james howlett#james logan howlett#i love this#i have no words#poor logan#ordered the comic right after seeing this
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!
mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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very excited to report my many hours spent on the computer writing erotic dyke fanfiction has in fact massively aided my ability to write academic papers. it is all paying off.
#it is all paying off........#trb.txt#turns out betaing my friends' fic and betaing my friends' thesises are like. the same kinda fun.#it's all about the narrative construction and the words in the right order. and being like this is really confusing.#what is happening here you should fix that.#school blogging
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from concerning the book that is the body of the beloved by gregory orr
#i hope those words are in the right order i feel so groggy#slept TERRIBLY#woke up at 3am and managed to doze off lightly until 4:30 but it didn't feel particularly Restful#but at least i hope this means i won't end up napping during the day#Ardbert#warrior of light#fanart#speedpaint#i draw sometimes#Final Fantasy XIV#i kinda wanna have a tag for the fake retro stuff so they're all in one place but i need like 7 months of pondering time#if i Need a tag
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Judgement
upright: resurrection, reflection, reckoning, judgement, and awakening. reversed: lack of self-awareness, doubt, self-loathing.
Yet another tarot card edit, this time for my Curse of Strahd character, Avra! She's a shadar-kai/reborn phantom rogue who was brought back from the dead by the Raven Queen to serve as her chosen assassin. She was sent to Barovia to kill a rogue lich, but one of the people meant to help her (a raven given human form by the Raven Queen) has made a bargain with him instead...
Her epithet in my notes is "the revenant", and I think it's pretty obvious why. And also pretty obvious why she gets the Judgement card. (Resurrected from the dead, brings her goddess's judgement upon people, etc.)
In this case the reversed version of the card is also fitting, or at least it most likely will be as her arc progresses... (Though the "lack of self-awareness" is pretty accurate, given recent events in the campaign.)
Oh, and of course I had to include a raven looking down on Avra. The Raven Queen does keep a very close eye on her, even now that she's in Barovia...
#ts4#ts4 edit#the sims 4#sims 4 edit#my edits#ts4 dnd#sims 4 dnd#dnd sims#dnd edits#tarot card edits#ts4 tarot#sims 4 tarot#ts4 tarot card#sims 4 tarot card#oc: Avra#judgement tarot card#my beloved little revenant <3#she's got major beef with two of her party members because they both made bargains with the lich she's been ordered to kill.#and they have beef with her because she thinks that ''some things should just stay dead'' about their dead child(ren)...#big words coming from someone who literally dug her way out of her own grave...#makes you wonder how she feels about her own resurrection... :))#but I'll tell you right now that her faith in her goddess is stronger than her doubts about herself... for now anyways.
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do you ever think about how Ohkubo extremely casually dropped the fact that Spirit & Kami were teen parents & then proceeded to never expound upon that fact or bring it up ever again despite it explaining a whole lot about them & Maka
#I think a big part of why I'm so attached to/interested in spirit as a character is because he objectively has A LOT going on in his life.#but because he was created to fill that stock pervy comedic-relief anime side-character archetype we never get to see any of it examined.#or even brought up at all for the most part#like spirit apparently comes from a long line of death weapons who despite having been loyal to lord death for generations are never ever#mentioned & who spirit himself never mentions despite carrying on the family tradition (although he's not unique in that regard tbh)#at 12-13 years old he becomes stein's weapon partner & in his own words it became “[spirit's] job to control [stein].”#another kid with a laundry list of mental health & behavioral issues that spirit probably wasn't super prepared to help “control”#(personally I think that this “job” of spirit's was a duty he took upon himself rather than something lord death necessarily told him to do)#then just ~5 years later he 1) loses/rejects said weapon partner & probably best friend after some really major boundaries were crossed#2) becomes a husband & father at just 18#(& in his own words a broke 18 year old at that. another point towards him not being in contact with any family if they're even alive)#3) becomes technically one of the most important people in the world once he ascends to being a death weapon.#not necessarily in that exact order but certainly in quick succession.#& then we fast forward to canon & spirit's at best a guy who drinks way more than he probably should & at worst a functioning alcoholic#who's only A MONTH into being divorced for his habitual infidelity & is in the really weird position of being the primary caretaker of his#daughter who (rightfully) hates him despite him having zero custodial rights over her.#& imo he seems to have no friends in death city before stein & the other death scythes return despite generally being a people person.#like. spirit is kind of the epitome of should've been at the club lmao#soul eater#spirit albarn#kami albarn#meta (kind of. not really lol)
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“How will I achieve complete and total ultimate arcane power?”
#noooo don’t say the right four words to the right being at the right time for all the wrong reasonssss you’re so sexy aha#art by me#vaarsuvius#fan art#digital art#artists on tumblr#oots#the order of the stick#order of the stick#v oots#panel redraw#screencap redraw#screenshot redraw#blood //#ask to tag
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I don't know you but I'll try to do Anything that gets me closer to you ,
#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii cabby#ii test tube#ii fan#cabtube#vialfile#fancab#vialfiledial#cringefailart#I'm really worried that this doesn't read very well. re: meaning and also the order you are meant to look at the panels in#but I'll try not to over explain myself as is typical of me#I actually wrote a bunch in here about my intentions then realised 'hey thats a lot of words you look insane. just trust people to get it'#this is schrodingers vialfiledial#if I’m being honest#anyways wow her file. what a huge leap of faith am I right
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