#I find myself writing the scenes I can ‘see’ and then put them in appropriately the right order in a word doc

[3amfanfiction]

How do you find yourself writing your stories? Is it chronologically where you start at the beginning? Do you start with what interests you most? Something else?

Feel free to share for a larger audience size!

[novlr]

I have a bad habit of never finishing writing I start - I work hard on a story, make it to 3/4 of the way through, then lose passion for it and start something else. I know the key to overcoming this is discipline, and I’m trying very hard to make myself keep going with my current story that I like very much and spent so much time researching and outlining, but it’s a struggle every day to make my writing goal. Any advice for how to re-ignite writing spark or how to push through to the end?

We can lose our drive to write for a lot of reasons. It often indicates a growing maturity as an artist — you understand the craft better and your own (current) limitations better, and so you begin to feel overwhelmed in a way you didn’t before. It can also be that external anxieties are getting in the way or simply that you’ve lost interest in your current project. 

Hope is not lost. Read on for some tips on reclaiming your writing spark. 

Shift gears

Sometimes, all you need to reignite your writing spark is to engage your brain in a different way. If you’re struggling with your novel, take a break and try writing a poem or a piece of flash fiction. Or, you could try drawing sketches of your characters, a map of your story’s world, or some possible outfits for your climactic battle scene (it doesn’t have to be good. No one’s going to see it). 

The trick is to stay creative but to approach your work from a different angle. 

Change location

If you’ve been trying and failing to write at your desk, surrounded by crumpled up dreams drafts and last week’s candy wrappers, you may be suffering from an environment with stagnant energy. Try taking yourself on a writer’s date: go to a location that fits the tone of the project you’re working on (lux hotel lobby, seedy theatre bar, the wilds of a nearby park), and see if that gets your creative wheels turning. 

Dress [in]appropriately 

In Writing Down the Bones, Natalie Goldberg has a chapter called “Blue Lipstick and a Cigarette Hanging Out Your Mouth”. By this she meant, “Use outfits and props to step outside yourself and get a new perspective”. You might find it helpful to have a special “writer’s sweater” that you only wear when you’re writing or to dress like someone confident and cool enough to smash writer’s block in the face. 

Do some soul-searching

What’s really going on here? If the above tricks aren’t doing it for you, there may be some bigger issues at play that are inhibiting you from connecting to your writing spark. 

Write letters

I’ve written about the restorative powers of letter writing before, and I’ll mention it again: handwritten letters are a great way to get the words flowing. You don’t actually have to send them when you’re done (although you can if you want to); the recipient doesn’t even need to exist. Simply by putting your thoughts down in a low-risk way, you’re unclogging your creative pipes. 

Join a writing group

There’s power and accountability in numbers. You can find writing groups online, through community centres and writers centres, or by sticking a flyer up in a bookshop and starting your own. There’s even a Novlr writing community on Discord where we share tips, struggles, and just generally talk craft! By inviting other people into your writing practice, you’ll have some support and encouragement to keep you going. 

Find your writing spark with writing prompts

The internet is awash with writing prompts. These can be a helpful way to get something down on paper and stretch out your writing muscles. Whether it’s a premise, an opening line, or a character study, writing prompts can give you a gentle, creative push and even inspire new work.

Experiment with found structure

If writing a traditional story feels like pulling out your own teeth, try a found structure story. This means using fictional “found material” like shopping lists, calendars, to-do lists, ticket stubs, banking records, and so forth to create a narrative. 

Here’s an example: Imagine a week in which a bride-to-be prepares for her glorious wedding, is left at the altar, rages in misery, and ultimately emerges healthier and stronger. Now, write her shopping list for each day of that week. How does it change from beginning to end? How much emotional detail can you communicate to the reader through the items that appear on these lists? This can be a fun way to create a story without the anxiety of writing it.

Set a petty life goal

I am a proud champion of the value of pettiness as a motivator. There are plenty of noble reasons to write: to share powerful stories, to help readers in need of healing, to inspire others to write stories themselves, and to draw attention to important social issues or minority identities. 

There are also some really inane and selfish reasons to write: to become more famous than your ex, to appear on TV and make your ex regret everything they’ve ever done to you, to have your book made into a movie and receive casting consultation rights and pitch your favourite actor in the lead role and allow them to take you for coffee as a thank you. But the thing is… these are the motivations that are really going to pull you out of the dirt when you need it most. Find the silly driving goal that really gets under your skin and hold onto it for dear life. 

Forgive yourself

Many writers experience a lot of shame when they aren’t writing as much as they feel they should. Needless to say, this shame only makes the writing harder. Allow yourself the space to take some time when you need it, process your struggles, and return when you’re ready. The page will be waiting when you get back. 

[aheathen-conceivably]

I really want to start my own legacy challenge and post it here! But idk how to make it look as pretty and as good as you, do you have any tips?

Nonny, first and foremost, thank you! 🥰

While I am usually very happy with the way my posts look now, it wasn’t always that way, and I think the biggest part of this is the process. If you go back and look at my early story posts (and even before that, to my first builds that I posted here) you’ll see that the style and techniques I used then are very different than what I do now.

All too often I find simblrs (and creators in general) will delete or redo their early work. As a perfectionist myself I totally get and share that instinct, but simultaneously I think that looking back helps remind me that it takes practice and discovery that’s still ongoing. I’ll try to help with a few tips I’ve learned along the way, but I truly don’t think there’s any better answer than trial and error!

1. Camera tips and tricks:

First and foremost, always take your photos in tab mode. Even if it’s just gameplay shots, this allows you to get creative with angles and go closer/further away for those detail shots or sweeping landscape ones. On that note, don’t be afraid to take the same photo from multiple angles so that you can look back at them and choose the best one.

Something I read very early on that helped me was to zoom in as close as possible to the shot that you want, and then back away using the S key rather than zoom out. Likewise, avoid zooming in and out and then in again in tab mode, as it can cause distortion in the background. However, there are also times when that distant background looks great, so this is just a good place to start that you can play around with over time. And have fun! Get those detail shots and low angles and things that might not seem like the most obvious shot but somehow work really well.

2. Take time on the details:

Now this is an overarching one because I mean all the details, from the world, to the builds, to interior decorating, to sim details, to their outfits. Now you may only enjoy a handful of these, and by no means do you have to jump in with all of them at once. For me, I really enjoy interior decorating so I put a lot of energy into my sets, that way when I go to take photos the backdrop work is already done. I really try to ensure that the backgrounds of photos are never empty (which is sometimes just clever angles) so this goes a long way to making a post look good and gives the viewer lots of little cues about the sims in the scene.

Likewise, I spend a lot of time on sims outfits. Usually this is in tangent with their personality and where they are in their story, but you’ll also notice small things like characters will not always be wearing shoes at home or an apron/hat will be taken off at an appropriate point in the scene. Small details like this ground a character in their setting and help relate your writing and/or unwritten details to the viewer.

3. Editing:

This is one that I think is really mutable to your personal tastes and goals. I’ve seen some simmers really go above and beyond with unique templates or text while others (ahem, me) will just brighten up or increase the contrast of a shot. I know others will often use photoshop for more detailed editing, but I stick with an online service just to make the brightness and colors pop. Even still, those few extra steps can really balance out the in-game lighting or make a photo even more pleasing to look at, so I really recommend finding something you like if aesthetics are important to you.

4. All the extra things:

Simmers, I think you already know where I’m going with this. Sometimes this game isn’t exactly the most pleasing to look at, so things like lighting mods, swre, or reshade really help you as a creator and can take your screens to the next level. As I’m sure y’all know by now I fought the reshade train for a long time, and even still I can see how this process can be over involved or overwhelming; however I won’t deny that the addition of it to my game is by far the biggest step I’ve taken to making my photos look as good as they currently do, and it has saved me a lot of time on manually editing. But I do not think it’s by any means necessary, and lighting mods are a good place to start for these in-game enhancers.

5. Trust the process

Yes, I’m ending this ramble by reiterating the point I stated at the beginning. I cannot stress enough that it takes time and practice to find your style and the techniques that work for you. I would really encourage you to go back to this post compared to recent ones and look at how different the camera angles and ideas behind the shots are. Changing is okay! Find what you’re really excited about in your images (which for me, y’all may be able to tell from the beginning, was the outfits and set design) and really enjoy that process. It comes through in the images, I promise!

Most of all, don’t feel like you have to perfect your visuals before you start posting here. Community feedback and just the joy of engaging can be such a motivator to continue, and quite honestly, if there is a place to grow your style and content as you go it’s here. People are so willing to help and answer questions as you encounter new roadblocks or ideas, and so starting that network and gathering that inspiration is pivotal to making your content look the way you want it to.

I know that I for one hope you post your legacy, Nonny! I always love seeing new people come aboard and I hope this could be helpful to you 💕

[siriuslyprincesssarah]

A little vent session

I find it so funny that the same people who are getting onto me about supposedly not properly tagging my story are now getting onto me about tagging my story improperly when the endgame is Harry and Hermione, and I have tagged it so from the beginning. Soulmates can be platonic and Harry and Hermione are for NOW, but soon it will change.

Hermione and Draco are a separate story, and what is of them within Enchanted will last four 1/2 total chapters. Two 1/2 which are already posted. The rest will be back to Harry and Hermione fighting each other until when they finally get together near the prologue. I did, in fact, tag it appropriately. As I stated to one reader, when we read a book in real life, we don't have pre-tags. When I started writing fanfiction, there were no tags at all. Many don't tag their fics, but I try my best to tag them to give people a heads-up. A few people just don't like it because I am including Draco. Who is important to the storyline starting during the next chapter.

I finally had enough, and I'm screening reviews. People are being rude and think they know everything and how it is going to be planned out. NO ONE knows everything. I have no beta. All I am is a school teacher who writes her ideas of what she wishes would have happened after the books out into the universe.

This story was conceived on a road trip to Washington, D.C., over one year ago. On my way down, I listened to Spotify and somehow was stuck listening to Taylor Swift's complete collection. Many of the scenes were Google transcribed to my notes after I heard a song and sent myself a note while driving. Since then, I've had an outline of how I wanted it to go. After sightseeing, I'd return to the hotel and work on my outline.

This story was never meant to go this long. Initially, I meant for it to be one chapter a year from 1998 to 2007, then end there—ten chapters total—but I couldn't end it there. It got away from me. Ten turned into 20. Twenty turned into 30. My outline has it sitting at 45 if I end it where I originally planned. I may or may not end it before that and create a sequel, though. We will see. Looking back, should I have gotten them together before 2007? Yes, but I started it in 2007, and the way things fall to make it there for certain things, it has to be 2007. I see Hermione as career-oriented and not settling down straight out of school. Of course, I was that way too.

Ending this rant, I beg my readers to please trust the process. I know there is a period right now that some are unhappy with. When the idea came to me, I knew people wouldn't like it. But putting her with Draco worked for four reasons. First, she has a relationship that no one would think she would and briefly tries to move on from what she feels she will never get with Harry. The second will be revealed next week. The third will be revealed in chapter 35. The fourth will be revealed in chapter 36.

Just bear with me and for those who have stuck around and have supported me here. I'll thank you for doing so. The father is. Harry :) Because, of course, it is, and it never was a question. I just wanted to build a little suspense.

Thank you so much for supporting me and reading this if you did.

[anneapocalypse]

15 lines of dialogue

Thank you for the tags @redwayfarers and @lilas!

Tagging: @farfromdaylight @dreadfutures @rosella-writes @darethshirl @ecosystem-administrator @ialpiriel @ishgard

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

These are all going to be from unposted works in progress, but here we go. 😉

"If this is the price of the Blessing of Light—if you're going to take everyone I love, over and over again, then I don't want it! Do you hear me? I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't…"

"You didn't have to do this. You helped save Ishgard, too. You should be here to see the changes you wrought."

“I’ll be honest, I never imagined anyone would use the word ‘formidable’ to describe me. I do most of my work standing behind someone with a sword.”

“It’s not that. I’ve trained under people who didn’t like me or believe in me before. I can handle it. It was… he started going on about how archery was a Wildwood discipline, passed down through generations. He said I could never understand.”

"My home is gone. There’s nothing for me to go back to. I’m not Gridanian. I’m not Ishgardian. I’m not anything. I’m not even… I’m not even one of you. The Scions. Not really. You’ve all known each other for years, you knew Master Louisoix, you have all this history. I’m just some farm girl you pulled off the street because I had headaches and saw things. No matter what people call me, even the ones who think I’m a hero, I’m never one of them. I save the day, and then I move on. I never belong anywhere.”

"I understand you developed a unique variation on the carbuncle? I should love to hear about the theory behind it."

“He’d turn me loose in his library, and then ask me about what I’d read and what I thought of it. No care for what was appropriate for children, either! Ma used to argue with him about it, until she realized it was fruitless. ‘Books are for everyone,’ he’d say. ‘If she can understand it, then she can read it, and if she doesn’t she’ll put it down soon enough and find another.'”

“Urianger, this is important, so listen carefully. I want to hear everything about the fae. Everything. Should you ever doubt my desire to hear about something, you may ask me, ‘Ariane, wouldst thou care to hear of the intricacies of the customs of the fair folk?’ that I may assure you, my dear friend, that I do in fact want to hear all about it.”

“You knew that I would do what needed to be done no matter what, right? You knew that I would not turn from the plight of this star, no matter the danger to myself. That isn’t why you kept this from me, is it?”

"A smile better suits a hero. Perhaps it does, love. Perhaps it does, but I haven't one to give, at the moment."

"What do you know of his history? Do you know how it has haunted him, what he did to Minfilia? What he kept from us? Did you see him shut himself up in the Waking Sands, convinced he deserved neither comfort nor forgiveness?"

“How would I have done otherwise? When have I ever done anything but what other people told me to do? I couldn’t defy my own mother until she was dead.”

"Sometimes she was. Other times, she was a woman who gave in to all her worst fears about the world, one for whom everything beyond our doorstep was deadly and terrifying, and would have denied me a life because of it. But I dare say she was right about the tea. And the soup."

“I loved a woman once who gave up her life for me. And then I loved a man who did the same. And I’m so tired of losing people, I’m so tired—I don’t want anyone else to give up everything for me. I just want someone who will stay. Live with me. Be by my side. Be with me, whatever we face—together. I said I couldn’t ask you to change who you are, but it’s more than that. I don’t want you to change who you are. Just be with me.”

"Perhaps some things are meant to be. But the secret of our art is it's as much shaping the future as it is reading it. You've said yourself, love—you may accept what you see foretold, or defy it. As our dear Minfilia stood before the Flood of Light. It gives me some comfort to think that things can be changed. To believe—and I do—that the future is not set in stone."

[derpyinch]

AN INTRODUCTION TO ME (plus side blogs/other places you can find me)

Hi everyone :D

-Worldbuilder

-Zoology/ecology enthusiast

-Facultative extrovert

-Artist

Side blog:

If you have any questions about my worlduilding, let me know! Please keep conversations appropriate (no sexting or asking extremely personal questions). Here there will be reblogs of/art of some stuff you might find disturbing (body horror/gore), but I will label it as such (gore, blood, tw, nsfw, etc). It's part of my worldbuilding as you'll see here over time.

Filing system down below v (more as a reminder for myself) vvvv

When I reblog stuff, I'll put it in a file system that is similar to my pinterest pinning system (same titles and such). Here's how it'll go...

(btw if any of these tags are of no interest to you, then feel free to block them)

Art:

Animal reference

Animal pose

Animal behavior

Art reference

Human pose

Guide or Art Guide

Landscape

Procreate

Ibispaint

Aesthetic/pattern:

It just looks pretty - I like it because it looks nice :)

Storytelling or Cinematic - the way it sends a message is interesting, and I'd like to use it as inspiration

Worldbuilding:

(BTW level 1 animals are animals found irl)

Level 2 - Like irl animals that have one little thing changed about them, like their color or number of eyes.

Level 3 - Mix of 2 or more animals that is hard to distinguish what the original animal is (like a cat/snake mix, was it originally a cat or originally a snake).

Level 4 - A change in the original species causes a majority of people to fear it, like deep fear it. Creepy

Level 5 - Like levels 2-4, but with a horror aspect to it (like snakes that look like intestines).

I've made guides for my leveling system and I'll post them soon, so don't worry if you're confused ;)

Dragons

Elementals

Hybrid

Scene idea - idea for a plot point or fun story in my world

Characters:

Characters - catch-all

Johann the discoverer

Damien

Mama nova

Void deer

(I'll add more as time goes on)

Memes:

Memes - general tag

Remember - has some relevance to it, whether or not it's a meme (just sorta a catch-all for anything that I want to remember. You'll see what I mean if you search through there.)

Scenario - meme that describes a scene, and I don't know where else to put it

Food for the funnies - this is where I put the stuff I actually laugh at. Not just a breath out of my nose, but a true laugh.

Derpy - •u•

Fever dream - lol those memes that make no sense or come out of left field

And that's how babies are made - I'm not even going to explain this one lol

Stay flexy - exercise ideas

Cute:

Cute - catch-all for anything adorable :3

Cute animal - specifically cute animals

Cute plant - specifically cute plants

Misc:

Recommend or Recommendation - smth I should check out (to buy or look @ again)

Pins or Enamel pins - enamel pins I like the look of.

Watch later - if I like the look of it but don't have the mental energy to completely peruse it, then I'll put it here.

Ok so that is my filing system lol. I know it's pretty long but I plan on using the references and stuff I find here.

I know I said this before, but I love talking (raging extrovert), so if you wanna chat or dump a writing idea or creature idea on me, then go for it! Heck, my commissions are also open (not getting them done immediately, tho) if you're interested (no guarantee on the quality. Just know I am still learning the fundamentals of art). Anyways, if you're reading this far, then you're one of the real ones (also, what's your favorite color? Mine is blue, but I like them all tbh) 💪. Thanks so much for reading this. I'll have a side blog here shortly where I'll post only my art so that you don't have to go through all my reblogs, lol. Anyways, thanks so much, and have a blessed day <3

P.S. this is my art-only side blog and deviantart. Here, have a mouse 🫴🐁

[unadulteratedkr]

2, 18, 19, 46 and a wildcard for you too for the fic writer game 💗

eeee thank you for coming into my inbox and playing with me, Ida 🥰🥰🥰

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

Oh, I absolutely have to outline before I write. Pantsless writers, you terrify me (affectionate). It's not anything very formal, like I'm not doing bullet lists, it's much more stream of consciousness mixed in with me congratulating me on good ideas that get me out of problems I create for myself. It's very chaotic 😂 See below, part of my outline for I am tired, I am yours, where I outright ask myself for help

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

It varies! If I'm writing a sequel to something, I'll often have the title picked out before I finish the piece just to keep it thematically tied to the first one. In my Vianton fics, they're all named from Brandi Carlile songs (listen, she's the first person to admit her love songs are fucked up and it fits the Big emotions of a vampire and a werewolf okay I don't make the rules), and the sequel to my actual!KrakenEd fic was pulled from a poem I used a lot as inspiration for the first fic. Sometimes titles come to me in the middle of a piece, sometimes I'm ready to publish and going ".... oh right. Title. For the fic. The fic's title. The title to go on the fic."

I usually pull from poetry or songs for fic titles, but I have some delightful notable exceptions:

-sin is sacred again is titled from the marketing copy from Kraken Rum. No really. I'm not bullshitting you. Go look.

EDIT: OKAY APPARENTLY SOME COWARD TOOK DOWN THE PART I USED AS INSPIRATION BECAUSE THE MONSTERFUCKER VIBES WERE CLEAR BUT LUCKILY I HAVE SCREENSHOTS

-it's not something I can share yet here, but I also wrote a nsfw digital tie-in piece for the Tying the Knot zine titled "The 'I Duoy' Newlywed Special", which has that title solely because I wanted to capitalize on the fucking AMAZING name @jackuntiljune came up with for Archie's shotgun wedding boat

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

This made me laugh so much because @poorlyformed will be SO proud to hear that there's a TIE between "reunions" and "rimming" in my collection.

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

Ooooo, definitely emotion-driven, but rooted in the characters? Like, I want my writing to evoke emotions, and I write from a very personal place and put a lot of my own heart into my writing, but I also try really hard to make sure that it's rooted in the characters.

Very much how I approach any characters I've ever played too, I think. Like, I bring my own knowledge of the world and of feelings to any part I play, but at the end of the day.... I am NOT a water spirit or an owl or a grad student, and I need to find that character's truth and imagine outside of it, and I try to do that with fic as well. I want to bring what I find compelling to Ed or Stede, but I want to translate it through their characters to make it authentic and fulfilling to THEM.

And for my wild-card, I'm gonna pick, drumroll please [appropriate length drumroll]

#77: Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [insert fic here]?

Because I want to talk about my Stardust AU, Between the Sand and Stardust, which miiiight be my favorite thing I've written?

My favorite scene, bar NONE, was the scene where Stede got transformed into a mouse. One, mouse Stede is literally perfect, Stede as a tiny little dormouse gives me so much joy, but TWO, it's when Ed admits he loves Stede for the first time and it's so ACHINGLY TENDER because he thinks Stede can't understand him so he lets himself be a little more honest about it and ALSO I love it because Stede immediately post-transformation is a dolt and I'm in love with him:

get to know your fic writer!

[authortobenamedlater]

Oh, and even tho I know nothing about b5, Half baked B5Halo has me INTRIGUED.

(Hey @infinityactual you might find this interesting re: our conversation this morning.)

Send me WIP asks.

So. This got LONG. Sorry not sorry.

This not-story has the working title “For Such a Time As This” owing to a scene in my head where Delenn says “Perhaps the universe has brought us all together for such a time as this.”Appropriating Bible verses for the Minbari, oh yeah.

Right now this document is just a collection of ideas about how these universes might interact, and a few scenes/ideas. Such as:

- Infinity’s communications officer falls and breaks her nose when they crash out of slipspace. Lasky is shoving gauze at her when Babylon 5 makes contact. He shows up on the station with blood all over his uniform and his first conversation with Sheridan is something like “Do you have laundry around here? Also, what year is it?”

-Garibaldi and Palmer have to chase Halsey around the station. They bond over a shared love for Loony Toons. Palmer is a Roadrunner and Coyote girl, change my mind.

- Franklin is utterly furious when he finds out about the Spartan program. And that’s just the IVs. He doesn’t even know about the IIs.

- Lasky is insanely envious that B5’s computer can turn the attitude OFF and that cryo is not widely used in their world.

- Ivanova and Palmer become besties and give their respective captains a few headaches.

- Garibaldi wants to keep the Spartans because WOW are they useful for security.

- Various Halo characters grappling with the “who are you/what do you want” questions (I have ideas about this I will save for another post).

- What a fight with the Shadows might look like with Infinity in the mix. Seeing as Infinity is more powerful than anything in the B5 world. Sheridan and Lasky would make a fascinating team, too.

- How the Shadows would end up using Halsey, because even she couldn’t outwit them, and the trouble she could make in another universe.

- Lasky muses at some point how Babylon 5 gives him hope that one day humans and aliens can all work together peacefully; maybe the UEG should give something like this a shot. Palmer tells him, “You know they’d want you to run it” and Lasky is like F—- NO.

Now, all my reasons for why this epic will never make it out of my head:

Altering the B5 storyline (namely having to scrap the tensions with Earth for simplicity’s sake) would feel to me like sacking the Jerusalem temple.

I’d need to know even MORE about B5 lore than I already do, not like I’d have a problem with that research project, and a whole lot more about Halo than I do. On that last point, I am married to a walking Halopedia who would gladly tell me everything and then some.

There’s also the matter of having to make several OCs for the Halo side. Aside from Lasky, Palmer, and Roland, we don’t meet many of the Infinity crew. Does Lasky even have a first officer? I mean, he obviously does, but does he ever talk to this person? We got through all of Spartan Ops and Halo 5 with nary an XO in sight.

Finally, silly as this may sound, I’m no Straczynski and don’t trust myself with his characters and universe. I have no problem taking a sledgehammer to Halo because it’s great and fun and sometimes just mind-bogglingly stupid. But B5 is so brilliant I can’t bring myself to touch it. I would be scared of incurring the wrath of my fellow fans and also probably feel like I had to write JMS a letter of apology.

—

I WAS going to post a snippet from this mess of an AU but I’ll put it in a reblog later to keep this post from getting even longer.

[natsmagi]

i was typing this in the notes to an ask but it gogt waaaay too long lol sorry. prefacing it with you know i love your artwork & i have nothing against what you choose to draw. also possibly worded weird cus i didnt write it in the sense of talking only to you alone

there is certainly this conflict between artists as random individuals and artists as a collective when it comes to how to approach this issue… as a hobbyist you can draw whatever you like but also when you have trends like a lack of fatness thats going to be disheartening too. i think the answer is getting more people into making art (& like general societal change of course since its an issue baked into bigotry.)

because as much as i agree with the sentiment of "there is significant under representation of fat women" (or characters in general) at the same time fandom is a hobby space and i dislike the notion of badgering individual artists to draw any particular thing especially when the source material does not have that thing. if you are looking for artwork of fat women thats great but i would not ever recommend something like enstars that has 1. no fat characters and 2. no women, barring a few exceptions. i think expecting to find fanart of fat women from a source entirely composed of thin men is unrealistic, even with the relative popularity of femstars.

plus there are other complications such as the typical modern fandom f/f scene sometimes being very strict and even vicious at times with their standards of what's enough diversity or what content is appropriate. ive heard a lot of anecdotes about people who WERE contributing to these things but whom were still harassed or got threats from other users over it not being good enough, and that's just not conducive to creating the environment or diversity you want. nobody is going to want to be in a fandom space where they have to walk on eggshells all the time. and i bring this up because of how you were clearly harassed by randos. accusing you of misogyny or shaming other womens' bodies as being "unrealistic" is not the way to go

the only reasonable solution i can think of to this is, again, to just encourage more artists to start drawing in the first place, or even better start contributing yourself. individuals should have the freedom to draw what they like without getting flamed for it AND people should be able to see themselves represented in artwork. i would like to see some more fat characters too, this is definitely something ive thought about before myself

(personally all the fat people i draw are ocs or portraits of people i know that i dont want to post online but maybe if i get some inspiration i will draw the long-sought chubby mugi myself. i am not super interested in femstars though so whether or not itd actually be fem mugi is up in the air. but all the talking here about this topic has had me thinking about following my own advice and putting what i want to see into the world.)

OUGHH THESE ARE ALL GOOD POINTS!! and i agree! the main thing we should be doing is ENCOURAGING people to add more diversity, not harassing them into it! people who only draw for fun arent really obligated to draw anything outside of their comfort zone, which again is why i think its better to simply uplift the idea of trying out new things and new appearances that you dont often draw

theres also SO MUCH room for more femstars artists too! and like ive said before if you wanna see something done right you gotta do it yourself. and i kind of like that. i like that everyone gets to craft their own little femstars variant of the enstars cast, and you can make them look however you want! and honestly? you SHOULD! seeing personal touches to designs always brings me joy, so even if you dont feel very confident in your art, if you have a specific vision for a character that you want brought to life please go ahead and draw it!! (or if you really dont want to you can always commission someone)

i also wanna highlight one of ur last points too bc yea. its unfortunate but often times whenever i see someone try adding diversity to their art for the first time they end up getting flamed because its not an accurate depiction of what they were trying to represent. and that really sucks! obviously we should strive to have accurate representation, but if its an artist that hasnt tried their hand on it before, ESPECIALLY a beginner artist, we shouldnt flame them for it. rather we should educate them on what went wrong and how they can improve for the future. these are people who actually WANT and are TRYING to add diversity to their art, but because in animanga circles theres a lack of education on how to draw more diverse features of really any kind. which is why trying to educate is far better than shaming. because if you shame these artists theyre gonna be too scared to try again, giving us less diversity once more

so yes basically what im saying is i want us all to encourage diversity and to help each other out by sharing resources and tips when it comes to drawing it!! one person is Obviously not gonna be able to do every single thing, which is why i want more people to pick up the pen and bring life to their visions!! also i really want more femstars food pelase pick up the pen i am a starved orphan and only femstars yuri can satiate me!!!!!!!!!

[sleepymccoy]

72 and 55 if you are still going!

I def am! Hi Ked 😊

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings ect?

I'm sure there's more than I notice, but I definitely repeat the tropes! I go in for miscommunication and pining basically every time. Even if I'm writing established relationship I manage to make them pine.

Regarding expressions, I do try not to Americanise myself unless the character is particularly American. Cos, like, McCoy is southern. So he gets Southern phrases from me. But Kirk and Spock are also American really but not in a particular way, it's more that universal type of American where it's treated as default. When I write those kinds of default American characters I let myself be Australian about it because that's my default and I don't want to lose that for fanfiction.

That has led to some amusing miscommunications with American readers who are (appropriately!) reading with an American sort of voice but I'm not writing with that. My fave was when I used yonks which means a lot (in a measurement type of way) and got tonnes of confused comments 😂 I hadnt even clocked it as slang, it's just a word for me.

I think the sentence was something like "but that was yonks ago" and people were DMing me to say "hey, funny typo on that page, I think you meant years?" But I didn't! Yonks can be used for distance too, something can be fucking yonks away. I never bothered to change it, it's okay for my voice to be Aussie

But yeah, I'm sure there are many expression particular to me that I don't notice cos it's just cultural

72. What's your favourite writing compliment that you've gotten?

I don't know! I can give you two very impactful ones tho.

Someone left a comment once that discussed how natural my dialogue is, and that's really stayed with me. It caused me to reflect on my process (which starts with dialogue only) and I realised I agree with them! I have quite a strong capacity to make the beats of time in a conversation be reflected in punctuation and description. I'm glad someone pointed it out cos I feel quite a bit of pride over that now, but I hadn't noticed on my own!

The other is all the comments my first ever fic got. I reread it not long ago (maybe a year) and it's appropriately amateur in vice. If I had less find memories of it I'd be embarrassed by it. But the comments are all just so fucking kind. It's unbelievable and it made me commit to being a writer. Everyone pointed out some strength they saw and I can see a direct line from those comments to my style now in what I doubled down on being good at. Someone complimented the humour, and I now do not shy from putting jokes in my stories. Someone talking about it being in character (by my standards now it so isn't, but it was such a shaping comment for me anyway) and I take care to go proof scenes constantly to make sure it's still true to character rather than just being useful to the plot.

It as such a wonderful early experience to have and I cannot express my gratitude enough to those few people who read my weak-ass first post! I love them and I love that fic because of them, no matter how far below my standards it now is. What a marvellous way to interact with new writers

[cee-grice]

Heyyy it's Storyteller Saturday!! What's the most difficult thing about writing for you and have there been ways you tried to make it easier? 👀

hii!! thanks for the ask <3

hmm that's a good question.... it can be interpreted in many different ways haha. and there sure are many difficult things when it comes to writing. for example, I find writing descriptions very challenging so I try to make them more interesting by trying to imagine how the character who's POV I'm writing for would see, what they would pay attention to, and give those descriptions some more oomf like that. I also struggle with writing more uhmm intimate scenes, and for that I just. put on an appropriate playlist and vibe for, like, an hour until I'm in the mood and don't feel too awkward about it LOL

but if talking about the process itself, the most difficult thing, I think, is not falling in love with your writing but not falling out of love. If it's a novel, I'm gonna be staying with it for months on end—and if it's the first draft, how the hell do I not get bored of it all and how do I not start to resent it because I can't seem to get anything right? I think a lot of writers struggle with perfectionism and always finding faults within your work, which can very easily lead to falling out of love with their work

on the character front, how I don't get bored of them, is that I, funnily enough, constantly imagine them in AUs lol. cute ones, fucked up ones, really fucked up ones, just really anything under the sun that would keep their characters in my mind fresh. I don't get bored of them because I don't spend all my time with them; I also spend time with them but they're vampires, or high schoolers, or royals and peasants, and so on. So it's almost as if I'm giving myself time to take a break from them whenever I'm not writing about them while still thinking about them x))

and on the story as a whole front, I have a notes section where I write down every single detail I want to be better or changed on the next rewrite. I don't fix anything now, I write it down for later. That way, it almost sort of tricks my brain into thinking that I already have those details in, that those issues are nothing to worry about it. I know my current draft is very flawed—but I also have SO MANY NOTES on how it will be better when I rewrite it, and it really helps my brain to not get caught up on all of it :'))

oof that got long, but yeah, hope that answers your question haha

[general--winter]

Would you do the same prompt with different characters? Can we request for male reader, female reader, gender neutral reader, etc? Are there any characters you won't do in each fandom? For Pokemon, are there characters from any specific games you won't do? Are there any topics you won't do like rape, suicide, etc? Do you do poly ships x reader? Thank you in advance!

TW: Rape, suicide

Disclaimer: Any serious topics requested WILL be treated with the proper amount of gravity and respect. I will try not spit in the face of the people who have experienced these things. If I make any sort of assumptions that are harmful or incorrect while writing for a serious topic, then please please please educate me or at least just let me know in a proper manner so I can educate myself. I already do a baseline of research when it comes to stuff I don't have experience with. I just want to make sure I'm treating everyone's feelings and experiences with as much respect as they deserve. Thank you, and onto the actual post!

Thank you so much for asking for clarification! I'll answer this in a list style. I think I'll be making an FAQ when I have some free time as well, so I'll definitely refer to this ask. Thank you so much for giving me more to consider regarding my rules.

Yes, I'll do the same prompt for different characters in one post. I'll keep the limit to "a reasonable amount" unless someone gives me a reason to change that, lol.

You can request for any gender of reader! If it's not specified or if it is vague I'll default to gender neutral.

I don't have a list of characters I won't do yet, but I will put that in a post if someone does so. For a soft rule, just avoid characters who are, like, objectively shitty people (my examples are Hisoka from HxH and Danzo from Naruto). If there needs to be clarification on this, which I kinda anticipate, I'll go through all of the fandoms I write for and create a list that I will not accept.

Specifically for Pokemon, I think the only "major" game that I could imagine someone requesting something from is Conquest. I have played. Everything. And if I haven't I have a good handle on their character from fandom interaction.

As for topics I won't cover, like I said in my rules, anything NSFW is off the table. (So, I won't be writing sex scenes in my work or anything anytime soon.) I don't actually think I would include writing about the ramifications, emotional impact, and feelings associated with stuff like suicide in that, though. My work can take darker tones sometimes, and as someone with mental illness themselves, you'll probably see vent fics about my struggles at some point. Works that contain such content will contain warnings and be rated appropriately. Rape/sexual assault specifically, though, I won't write about the vast majority of the time. I do not think I could write about it in a way that is respectful to victims. If I'm channeling a specific experience I have had, then you may find these themes in my personal work. In any case, I will not take requests regarding them.

On poly ships: I do not have any experience writing for them, but I think I could do it with the proper writing resources! So if you would like to request this then feel free, I'll figure it out.

[phoenixfeathersinfall]

Best of tags and replies from this post:

“Find the appropriate mutual to ramble at and yap for 2-4 hours.”

“Make a playlist, but if it gets bad enough, I write.”

“Listen, I write about it because it’s my only viable avenue. Brain has never gone brrr from making moodboards or playlists. I love them when others do them, but they’re not my fan language.”

“I make a Google Slide to tell my friends about why they’re interesting.”

“Secret option: rant to friends about it.”

“Sit there and rotate them at high speed inside my head.”

“Think very hard about them, rotate them in my head, spin them around and see how it takes off like a helicopter.”

“I put them in games I’m playing.” 

“Draw!! If I have feelings about The Plot or The World I’ll write something instead, but for characters, they get art.”

“Write, draw, playlist in that order. The further you progress the deeper my feelings are.”

“There’s no ‘go insane’ option???”

“ ← Same prev, once when I finished reading a book I just walked around in circles in my driveway.” 

“It depends on the feelings I’m having but definitely not making gifs, I don’t have that kind of ability.”

“Mostly write, bit of drawing. The drawing is for a RETURN to an interest, the first dive into an interest begs for the written word.”

“Go f**ing crazy in the Discord about it.”

“Usually write, then playlist, then draw, but my latest obsession has included gifs for the first time.”

“Make a 3D character/model of them.”

“Write something, though I won’t necessarily be able to come up with more than just one scene.”

“Me: I love this guy, what if I wrote several posts of headcanons about his culture on the Tumblr dot com…” 

“First I close my eyes and Imagine Scenes, but that’s to lead into writing.” 

“Meta/analysis/shouting into the void posts is fastest for me, so usually that.”

“I send my friends gifs of people screaming, crying, rolling around on the floor.”

“Write about it if I have an idea, listen to music if I’m just in my feelings.”

“Is it still creative if the answer is ‘listen to music and go for a walk/pace around like a mad scientist while Thinking Thoughts?’ Just wondering.”

“I just…Dwell. And consume other people’s writing, drawing, etc.”

“Listen to music really hard and think about The Character.”

“If The Character is an OC, draw something about it. If The Character is a character, make an incomprehensible text post or hold my head in my hands and think really hard about them.”

“I imagine him so f***ing hard in my head it gives me a Category 8 migraine.”

“Write…I desperately need more content about them, but there’s only so much, so I must MAKE MORE CONTENT MYSELF.” 

“Realistically, if I am having The Character thoughts, I just rotate like a microwave. Mmmmm….”

“Write about it and send it to my friend who also experiences feelings about The Character.”

“I have already written about 200k words about The Character and I have no intention of stopping now.”

“Write about it, I like putting my beans in scenarios.”

“Draw a horrible doodle, remember I’m bad at art, and then write a 30k fic.”

“I used to breed Pokemon based on all the characters with as in-character movesets as I could.” 

“Put them into Situations in my head.”

“Draw or write about it, it depends on which area of my brain it activates.”

“Playlist with intent to draw or write (haven’t gotten there yet.)” 

“Sometimes cosplay or other fiber arts because I want to be/hold the character in real life (normal.)”

“My ideas Can stem from feelings, but more often it stems from feeling ‘I want to play toys with the characters.’ If I’m having Feelings it’s straight to the Tumblr post to say I’M HAVING FEELINGS, I’M THINKING ABOUT X FACTS AND Y IMPLICATIONS. EVERYONE CONSIDER THIS WITH ME AND CRY ALSO!!!”

“Playlist is a crucial vibes overflow valve, writing requires an actual thought.”

“Wait until bedtime and then imagine them suffering the worst whumps.”

“Lay in bed in the wee hours of the night making up AUs and character studies I will never write. Also, occasionally write something. Occasionally.” 

“Honestly sometimes I make spreadsheets about them. (Brainrotting over a blorbo): I have to make some kind of spreadsheet.” 

“I’m bald option: SCREAM!”

Great work everyone, some of these are FAR too relatable...

[xmiisuki]

Hii! I know you made a hardcover for HWE, so I felt as if I had to tell you this:

Umi has been exposed for blatant plagiarism and use of AI in her works. For evidence, I recommend checking out this user called @.manikas-whims . They have provided proof of plagarism. (As for the proof of use of AI, I think you can find it upon further research)

Apparently, upto 66% of her work is AI generated. And she copied two fics (both of which are now deleted).

Your rejection may cause her to finally cave in and realise the severity of her actions. It may ellicit a response from her, So, please, look into the matter.

I hope this situation is resolved peacefully! Peace ✌️

Hi Anon, thank you for the heads up! I apologised for answering late, I was working nonstop for my shift. Anyway, this might be a long post and will be my only answer to do this. So I'm very open-minded when it comes to this...chaos.😅

I am clearly very aware and done my own research around here in tumblr without any word. And yes, I looked into the matter checking out Manika's blog along the original fanfic authors Zombie and Venus(?) blogs since the day of the hate shoutout. So right after, I even made a conversation with Umi as well too. I had only discovered Umi and other fanfic authors since Sylus released (July).

First of all: I'm not mad or upset, I maintained my thoughts about this situation as this is not my first time seeing an author plagiarized or regards in the writing field. Since this sets in the fanfiction world, which is the most complex and complicated media to visit, not like in the real publishing world when it is completely different. Publishing is a straightforward fact that plagiarizing with AI is a huge No-No deal. However, we know both worlds still apply for copyrights, writers' rights, analyzing infringement, writing structures, plagiarism detect, and use commercials in the community. I won't get any details in these things since we'd already learned these stuff on our own accords.

Before I get into the fanfic issue, I used to be both as Author's Moderator and Social Moderator in Webnovel (WN) for nearly 10 years. Both positions are a bit different to one another, but it is still a moderator working with the editors for the author. Personally, in my experience, I used to be immature mod during those early 2 years when I found out about the thief-author copying the same exact scenes from my long-time author's multiple published work (which she's still in official contract in WN). I was a different person to do hating, spreading, posting, and watching them like a hawk just as the same unhealthy ways like the anons and the people from the other side to call out the thief in the opening. We tried possible ways to report it and take it down. Even my author sent an appropriate DM to that thief to take it down in WN but no responses coming from that author. In the results, the company and the thief don't do anything and no proper resolvement. The thief never takes the action as she took it selfishly for her own pleased, its a true story she won WN award of the month along her personal book badge medal for readers. It's a horrible experience to go through, and it bothers me, my author, and to the readers very often. This happened like 4 times? Multiple times? I forgot it's a long time. Personally, what we did is move on and create things better properly. There is nothing much we could to the thief but letting them be in disgraced since they don't like taking the responsibility of their action.

The reason I mentioned that experience is because I am seeing a similar situation here with Umi and the rest, but on the opposite side "what if your author plagiarized." I come to see and learned now that putting myself in someone's position looking forward to your fanfic author who writes a series which you were really invested on copying just one or more scenes while the rest of its work is completely came up original concept; it will hurt majorly of the readers, especially for the OG fanfic authors out there. It caused many emotional/mental damages and never found a good justice. That based, it will be out of hand and out of control as we humans want more negative outcomes.

I do agree OG fanfic authors like Zombie need justice for it, knowing they worked hard writing original in their descriptive ways at any typical genre like smuts, fluff or dark romance, etc.

Though, when it comes to calling out on a person online with a full hatred, like sending death threats, telling a blogger to go fck themselves and suicide attempts? That is a different story from plagiarism and the most horrifyingly to witness. It's a cyberbullying/behavior issue.

In other cases, honesty, this might be my most unpopular opinion; fanfiction is half plagiarised no matter what. Because fans are using the canon character that was already established in the world to use it on their accords' biased fanfiction work. Which it is why its fairly commercials in the works of writing. Fanfiction is free to everyone to be entertained, and we can all agree in a same common ground that fanfiction is actually a good start for practicing writing and come up with our own concepts by using the existing elements. Overall, it's fiction.

There's no need to be exaggerating over fanfiction. I've seen a lot of readers in both fanfiction-multiple-fandoms and published worlds gets toxic over plagiarism as if its a biggest crime in the writing world. You know what's the worst scenario than plagiarism? Making fanfictions as PROFITS. People sometimes forgot about it. Fanfiction profits are highly illegal no matter how the story is good and transformatively original plot goes; the readers, company, or the rightful owner will sue the author without a source of permission for using canon fictions to make money.

In one way or another, the truth about fanfiction is that it is never perfect. You will encounter and always find lots of mischaracterized characters, settings, world-building, misutilized magic system which is improperly 100% so far off away from the main officials like Love and Deepspace, Harry Potter, Final Fantasy, Naruto, Genshin, Attack on Titan, One Piece, Jojo, etc. All of them have in one common which its: fiction.

There is something I also wanted to talk about off-topic plagiarism despite fanfiction works. Don't we all agree that we did the same thing to plagiarised our homework when we were students once in our school/college days, to ask your bestie or classmate's homework to see their answers? Or copying the work you found online before the time deadline or any reasons that the homework is too difficult to solve? I'm pretty sure all of us have done it once or who knows how to count in this lifetime hahaha! Ofcourse, it is not funny, but it is the truth. We copy each other's work. Don't you think I didn't know 50 Shades of Grey is basically ripped off Twilight fanfiction entirely? No. Did it upset me? Not really. Did it changed everything that I visionalized, especially my favorite characters, that it is almost copied from one work to another? Yes, indeed. My coworker, who is a professional writer, even told me that Star Wars is also fanfiction from the bible (not directly but symbolically parallels to say). Even AIs are also plagiarised. Everything you'll see and what you find, it is all plagiarised or rewording if you wanna call it. I'm not saying plagiarism is allowed, I am truly against it. What I am saying is that plagiarism has been so heavily common nowadays that we are seeing the same thing over and over but a different retelling. That is why it is so hard to try to come up with original ideas. Some people don't realize this fact because their mentality is too busy to defend their favorite things believing it's original.

My digital bookmarks for my author in WN was also plagiarised. I was very upset about it so yes, I understood what Zombie and Manika's positions were. However, it's different because this is about fanfic in community where people can be aware to report and tell, not dealing with the company who won't do crap about it. What I think the best solutions for all these hate to stop between these fanfic authors (Umi, Manika, Zombie, Venus, etc) is by:

1.) Communication. A personal DM author-to-author is a great start discussing the issue and drama, comes in term to be respectful and take responsibility for the action privately. Without it, like I said from my experience, no communication will lead toxicity, or yet...it will bring the worst parts in the community, especially in fanfiction world.

2.) Public statement. I know people HATES the silence from author-thiefs. For not doing author's notes aside about appropriate apology. I get that, been there done that. I don't like it as well too, but if you have been observing the fanfic author's personality, and their answers answering anons' questions; you will know that this author will be transparent as possible to build that kind of relationship with readers. There are lot of times readers will twist around the author' statement (trust me, I've seen this alot and it never stops there), depending on the person to believe the author's admitted faults. It's not only Umi, it is actually the whole entire fanfic authors out there. As long the author communicates to their readers for what happened, the transparency counts that authors can give the options to readers where readers can either choose to stay as continue to support the author, for better improvement and growth or leave the author and find another story to like. It is up to the readers' choice, and how they want to believe in the author. Trust and transparency of who you are as an author is a main thing that captures readers' hearts. The combinations of words and taking actions together in online will define a person's personality. No action statement = No valid acceptance. The lies is the worst thing to hear and its painful than hearing the truth as its less painful.

3.) Rewrite it. It is that simple. Or, give credits for that kind of inspiration. It is never too late to rewrite from what happened and start making up on your own. We all went English class once, our teacher knows telling us to rewrite our paragraphs after it's done reviewing. It's also recommended for fanfic authors that needs a beta reader before the chapter goes out to the world. It is not difficult to ask for help or asking questions if the story is good or not. A feedback is a good tool for any writers. Fanfiction is a point where imperfections are placed on. In example like Menacled by Senlinyu, a Harry Potter Draco x Hermoine fanfiction. Those characters were technically not canon to be together in the books or movies. Harry Potter in her fanfiction is mischaracterized for being a brat. The Handmaid's tale in Menacled is basically plagiarized ideal, but taking that idea in the Wizard world is not so bad to be entertained by Sen's genius concept. Which is why she's successful to rewrite her own world for actual publishing , later at the end of this year dates, she has to take down the Harry Potter system due for copyright infringement. Or else it is penalized to steal and plagiarized.

Am I defending Umi? Clearly no. What I am saying is we all been there done that of plagiarism. It is very common now everywhere, anywhere, and in educations. We just never realized and adapting to think we really are making our ideas original. So I completely understand that all of these authors Umi, Manika, Zombie/Venus where they come from.

I am a very die-hard fan that I love to look forward to something for reading and interact, and that is where my social stands are earning as an author's moderator to do get-to-know-about-authors. To see authors or any potential writers whether it's published or fanfic in examples like: how they communicate to readers, what is their concept, do they know well of their characters; plot; story; setting; world-building in writing? What is this author's personality, are they good or bad to the readers? Will they build a good relationship with the audience? How will they answer the reader's question. Are they transparent and be true to themselves? Etc. Etc. This clearly why I ended up following Umi, because I can tell this author can write write more than thousand word counts like a published author would do. I can see she can answer and build her relationships with readers according to my examples above I mentioned. She can write. It's just that plagiarism is the main problem that kills the mood here. If other people don't see it that way? That is okay! Because everyone has their own opinions and valid. There is no need to give hates on. Simply ignore it if they don't like the content.

For the HWE hardcover part, I will put hold for now until everything settles down. I talked to Umi about it, definitely ofc she respectfully understands whether I want to do it or not because of the situation. It is up to me to create a binding physical copy as I was the one to bring up this idea of mine.

I really hope this chaotic drama will bypass in the future and clears up between Umi, Manika, Zombie, Venus, and to everyone out there who were effected by it. But I know for sure LADS fandom or any fandom fans out there who will discover fanfic works will take no heart to accept this because the damaged is already done. Long last conversation I had with Umi was about giving the best solutions/advices, and most importantly, try to make things right so no hates can further spread to both sides of the party. I'm highly sure and confident that she will make a public statement of the faults here. Give her time in despite ch14 posted, she's only young writer in her early 20s to learn about in the writing field. It takes a lot of mental power as everyone is different to handle the situation, especially receiving tons of death threats in their inbox. If she do posted her statement, hear her out first what she has to say before clashing the harsh comments. It's not so hard to listen first before shoving something down someone's throat. And I hope Zombie and her fans will also have justice and have a heart of acceptance. We're all imperfect humans. I'm not perfect, I made alot of mistakes too. 🤷‍♀️ It's okay to agree to disagree whichever points I said and mentions in this post. All opinions are valid, just not in a harsh utmost aggressive bullying behavior.

Hope this helps and clears the misunderstanding. 💜

Kudos to Zombie, Umi, Manika, Venus, Roma, whoever has the talent of writing despite pretty or ugly, writing is a beautiful ability. 🫶🏻 I enjoy every fandom contents such like anime or gaming fanfics. I don't know how to write stories like that, especially sexy smuts. 😂

[ohworm-writes]

As I reach my nearly two-year anniversary of this blog, which will be on February the 28th for any who are curious, I thought it would be appropriate to share a list of blog recommendations. Whether it simply be blogs I am enjoy currently, in the past, or anything else of the like, all deserve even more recognition, believe me.

So, without further ado:

@egcdeath -- By the gods, words cannot describe how absolutely awestruck I am by your work. The way you articulate emotion and action and just- everything? It's a work of art. I fell in love with your 'Love In Bloom' work months ago, and finding you again with your Soccer Parents series makes me ecstatic. I'm always left rereading and hungry for more of your work because it's just that good.

@robynlilyblack -- My absolute favorite Harry Potter writer I've ever read from. You have singlehandedly made me fall for characters I never would have thought about falling for. The emotion you put into your work leaves me weak at the knees sometimes, and the angst, oh boy, does it hurt when I read it. And there's so much comedy in your works, at times I find myself giggling whilst staring at my screen.

@quirkfics -- You write for some of the most underrated characters and I'm so happy that you do just that. I have, many a times, scoured the internet for works relating to specific characters that, unfortunately, almost nobody writes for. And then there's you! I cannot tell you how many hours I've poured into reading and re-reading your works because, truthfully, it's a little embarrassing.

@tired-teacher-blog -- My favorite Aizawa blog bar none. The way you write is, truly, mesmerizing. Every time I read something from you I'm always left in awe, whether that me with a grin or a flustered face or anything else of the like. You are doing the work of the gods.

@simpliao -- One of my favorite jschlatt authors on this website. Everything you write is adorable and fills me with warmth every time I have the blessing of reading through your blog. Everything you do is stunning and I am in love.

@jschqtt -- Another stunningly amazing jschlatt author, though I do love your other works with all the same adoration. Your works are so adorable and I cannot stress how seen I feel with some of your works. The prompts you write from just hit so close to home and the emotion behind them make them all the better.

@slxthxrxn-sxmp -- I initially found you from your Jurassic Park works and by the gods I fell in love with your writing so quickly. Just- every word I see on my screen when I read through your blog is captivating. I truly need to read through all of your works some time because I know how beyond worth it it will be.

@jschllatt -- My favorite jschlatt author on tumblr, easily. Though your blog is/has been, for the time being, inactive, I hope you know how much you, both as an author and as a friend, have impacted me. I still strive to write as amazingly as you do, though I reckon I have quite a bit of work to do before I create such art. You singlehandedly made me fall for more people than I can count by your work and I hate you for it. /j

@dreamwvrld -- The best author I've ever had the chance of reading from. And I mean that in all facets. You have been my idol ever since I started reading from you. The way you create such vivid scenes and the emotions you give the characters in your work leaves me at my knees. I still aspire to be like you, and even though you have left the fanfiction community, as I've told you, I can't wait to see and support you and your future endeavors. You have a fan for life here.

Writing, especially for a niche group as fanfiction writing is, is difficult and at times grueling work. The prospect of creating something designed specifically for a group of people to enjoy can be filling, but it is important to note the time and effort that goes into such work.

I'm apart of such a wide variety of fandoms and seeing so many people create content for them, spilling their thoughts onto a screen- it's beautiful. I'm sure many authors have seen me ramble in adoration about their works before, but it's important (at least in my eyes) to yell to the world 'look at this person and their amazing work!' from time to time.

To every author on this list (and to those who aren't yet), even if you're not currently or no longer active, even if you're only written a small number of works, even if you don't think your work is good (stop that, it is good and so much more), I, as well as the community(ies) you're apart of, adore you. <3

[fandomcrysis]

All the hours I lost // 02

Part two: We're on earth to break each other's hearts

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x gn! reader

Genre: Itty bitty fluff and pure unfiltered angst

Warnings: Cursing (I have a really really dirty mouth :/), kinda delusional reader , fighting, alcohol, manga spoilers? well more like you'll need the manga to get more context to the story (Shibuya Incident arc)

Summary: When the initial magic of novelty wears off, when the honeymoon phase ends. Slowly the bittersweet moments just turn bitter and everything you so carefully tried to take care of withers. Yet you refuse to believe fate made a mistake connecting you. (Soulmates au)

Word count: 4.7k

A/n: Part two of my fic to @yuujispinkhair ’s Enchanted to meet you collab. Again I can't stress enough how amazing she is. 💕💖💘

This is a song fic, to get the full context please check out All too well by Taylor Swift! (You don’t have to it, makes sense without it but it makes more sense with it)

Well, another big boy fic, it's funny because I cut a whole ass scene from this one (it will go into part 3 instead) and it's still almost 5k words. I'm a huge fan of angst as is, but now I'm actually not doing too well so I feel like I'm in my joker phase xdddd. My villainry is just writing really hurtful angst, or at least I hope it is. (I will cry if it's bad angst instead hdhjfbsdjb) but I promise the next part won’t be this bad. Please enjoy~ 💕

This isn't beta read and I'm painfully dyslexic. So if you find something please let me know so I can correct myself.

Lovely people on the taglist💕: @cerealfrdinner797 , @brumous11 , @nappingwithyuuji

Part one

1 year 2 months 1 week 6 days 10 hours 3 minutes 1 second

“How about this one? Do you think he’ll like it?” Gojo shoves a blue plush lion in your face, to show it off.

“‘Toru, he’s one, you can buy him anything big and colorful and he’s gonna love it,” you state calmly while taking the winking lion from him. It fits all the criteria so it might as well be the one.

“So, can we get it? And this too then? They are both really cute, I can’t decide.” The tall man gives you a purple bear this time with a suspicious look on its face. Both the lion and the bear come from the same line of brightly colored wild animals, and you are sure Satoru will try to buy each one of them, one by one, if you don’t step in. It’s your friend’s son’s first birthday party and you don’t want to outdo his parents so you need to limit your partner.

“Baby, choose one and we’ll get him some kind of block puzzle with it. It wouldn't be appropriate to steal the spotlight with a huge gift,” you reason with the big kid that is your boyfriend. He takes one sad look at the lion plushie and he puts it back, from the looks of it the decision was a sad one but not a hard one.

“That was quick, I expected a whole scene. What made you choose the bear?” you question him in a cheery voice when you get to the puzzle section in the next aisle. He has the bear in his right arm hugging it to his torso. Satoru looks up from the 'find the pair’ game he picked up and looks at the bear with a little smile.

“It reminds me of my best friend,” his grin is wide, as he goes back to the puzzle in his hand. You look at the bear, curious what kind of person Gojo Satoru’s best friend would be. The bear is an eggplant purple, its thinner, tilted eyes make it look foxy and the mischievous smirk on its face gives the impression that he’s up to no good. Looking at the bear you can clearly see how a person like that would be friends with your boyfriend, they both look way too happy to wreak havoc.

“Do they look this shady?” you inquire further, while you look at another set of blocks.

“Yes, he does.” He sounds distant like he’s lost in the past.

“And is he? I mean as shady as he looks.” You latch onto this opportunity to know more about his life, although you have a feeling that you won’t get a lot out of him.

“He’s even worse than he looks,” he muses, now looking at the bear. The fondness in his eyes is clear, it makes you wonder if he would ever talk about you this way.

“Then I get why you are such close friends,” you say with a little smirk on your face, waiting for him to catch on. When he does he rolls his eyes at you with an amused smile.

“Do you really think I’m shady?” he pouts hoping that you would say no, maybe even give him a kiss.

“Of course, I do. I can’t name one person shadier than you. I literally met you while you were breaking into an abandoned church.” You hand him a puzzle to see what he thinks.

“You’re mean,” he replies with a sour look on his face which makes you giggle. How are you supposed to take him seriously when he has his hands full with children’s toys and he pouts just like a kid?

“Am I now?” You put your hands on your hips, waiting for him to approve of the gift. While he is busy with that, your eyes wander on the plushie again. He looks like he misses his friend. People don’t seem that lost in the past when they’ve met their best friend just the day before.

“Would you like the bear?” you offer him suddenly. As much as you want to know more you don’t want to get shut down again. Today is a good day and you don’t want to turn it bittersweet. That’s exactly why you force yourself to stop thinking about how you accepted that he will never let you in.

“What?” He furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

“You look like you miss him. If you want we can get Kei the lion and you can get the bear. It would fit right in with your house if you ask me,” you explain, although you can’t help but point out how out of place it would be in his mancave. But maybe seeing that large bear in his house from time to time would make him feel better. He peaks at the toy, then back at you and pulls you in a half hug, as his other arm was full with the plushie. He presses a long kiss on top of your head, you reciprocate the hug by wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning into him.

“You really are the best, Love.” He murmurs when he leans back, as a response you press a quick peck on his lips. You marvel at the fact that you made him happy while watching him go back for the lion with the biggest grin on his face. After you gathered everything you wanted to buy, Gojo ventured off again to look at something while you were paying for the toys.

“You two are really adorable together, it’s rare to see people this in love,” the cashier smiles at you while he scans your items. You smile back at him and look back over your shoulder to your boyfriend before thanking him.

“And how old is the kid?” he inquires further as he puts the bear in a big bag.

“He’s one. I hope we got the presents right for his age.” You converse with the cashier hoping that you didn’t get anything he can’t use. Now, you kind of regret not asking your friend what to get.

“Oh no, these are perfect. I was just curious. Let’s hope the young man grows up to be like his dad.” You don’t want to correct him on the fact that you aren’t shopping for your child, it’s not like you’ll see the cashier again, there’s no reason to. As for the comment, you know he means well, and he probably refers to being tall or handsome or strong or just generally any of Gojo’s traditionally attractive traits. You know that, but honestly, you can’t stop your gut reaction.

“Oh god no, I would probably go insane if I had another Satoru running around.”

1 year 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 12 hours 22 minutes 50 seconds

“I can’t keep doing this, Satoru. And you can’t either. We’re supposed to be soulmates damn it. You can’t introduce me to even one of your friends! Hell, do they even know about me?” You are at your limit again. You were patient, you did your best to trust him, but you’ve known each other for a whole year and a half. And it’s been more than 6 months since the night at the park. Since his empty promise to try harder for you.

Nothing happened since, at least not on his end. You don’t know his parents' name, let alone met them. You on the other hand introduced him to your family because your parents were talking your ear off about finally meeting your soulmate. So, you took him home for dinner with your family. As expected he charmed your parents like it was his job, he actually made an effort to not come off as the jerk he usually is. You remember staring at him starry-eyed trying to digest the reality that you might marry this man one day.

“Calm down, please. It’s not a big deal, I just never got around to it,” he tried his best to diffuse the situation but it was just fuel to the fire. How can he say this? How can you trust him when he disregards your feelings like this? Again and again, he proves to you that he doesn’t care.

“How fucking dare you? How dare you tell me it’s not a big deal when you see how upset I am? Do you care this little about me? After everything? Is this just a game to you? To see how far you can push me? To see how much you can get away with? Do you find seeing me like this amusing?” It all just pours out of you. After months of hopeless pining for a functional relationship, you just can’t hold back anymore.

“What? Why would I enjoy this? You keep painting me as a fucking villain and you as the innocent victim.” He starts to lose his calm a little, which just escalates your feelings as well. He has no right to feel justified when he is clearly in the wrong.

“When you do this day in and day out I can’t do anything else just assume that you like making me suffer. And what the fuck do you mean that I’m painting myself as the victim. You hurt me a lot, a lot of times, you can’t sugarcoat this, Satoru!” You want to solve this in a more civilised way, but you can’t get a hold of your emotions. One cat got out of the bag and now every single one is jumping out.

“How about you don’t push me to do things I’m not ready for? You ask for too much! I open up a little and you try to rip me open to learn every one of my secrets. You have no business snooping in my life!” You should just leave before things get more ugly, but every single thing he says is so infuriating that you can’t just leave it like this.

“What? I asked too much? I asked you to do the bare minimum. To not treat me like you are ashamed of being with me! Do you have any idea what too much is? How about we talk about moving in? Or getting married? And what do you think of kids? I think two of them running around would be amazing right about now.” You can’t help the poison dripping from your voice. This all painfully reminds you of the nights you spent listening to your own parents scream at each other. Reminds you of how you swore you’d never be like them. Despite that, here you are. You’re just glad there’s no one around to witness it. Regardless, you continue.

“But it’s not like I could even think of bringing any of these up! Your side of the venue would probably be completely empty at the wedding!” You are screaming at this point but you couldn’t care less. In Gojo’s penthouse, there are no neighbours anywhere near so it’s not like they would call the cops on you.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about! Why would you even bring this up?” He isn’t screaming thankfully, but he is getting louder as well.

“Are you fucking delusional? Why do you think I bring it up? Everyone has kids and weddings or a ring on their finger at the very least! We are not getting younger Gojo and I don’t want to go to parent-teacher conferences and playgrounds in my fifties just because you couldn’t get your life in order in time. If you even want kids that is. I have no idea about that either because I can’t talk to you about anything related to our future.” You are an emotional mess as you collapse on his couch, defeated. You feel lightheaded as the situation hits you. You don’t know how this argument will end but you are sure of one thing: this will leave a scar.

“Talking? Is this what you call talking? You are screaming and breaking down again.” He doesn’t address anything about the actual problem, he can’t say anything to that. Somewhere in the rational part of his brain, a small voice tells him that you are right. A bigger part, however, refuses to admit blame.

“Do you think I’m enjoying this? Do you think I like that I have to have a complete breakdown for you to acknowledge me? I don’t trust you enough to bring any of my concerns up anymore. At this point, I don’t know which is worse, the fact that I’m afraid to bring anything up to you or that you are a fucking stranger in my bed.” You curl up on his couch as he starts to pace. Your words cut deep, but he can’t face that he is hurting you this bad.

“Why can’t you just trust me? Talk to me? I’m your soulmate.” He doesn’t stop for a second, he goes round and round, which doesn’t help you calm down. His restlessness is just unnerving you even more.

“Just because we are soulmates, it doesn’t mean everything will magically work out. This relationship is just like any other. And even if it wasn’t, we aren’t the only soulmates, somehow everyone else can work it out!” You stand up because you can’t just sit around. You go to his kitchen, which is only separated from the living room by a counter, to get a glass of water. You try to make an effort to calm down.

“There it is again! Why are you so fucking obsessed with other people? Why can’t we just do what’s good for us?” He goes to lean on the counter in front of you as you take out a glass from the cabinet. It would be nice knowing that you are this at home in his house but right now you could barely see from the anger.

“What’s good for us? Relationships work because of compromises. There are no compromises here, I’m doing everything I possibly can to make this work and you are acting like a butthurt kid just because I asked you to treat me like your lover not like a secret. In all reality, this isn’t a relationship. This is an affair, a distraction. You aren’t committed to me at all.” This hurts to say. It hurts so much because it’s true. You wouldn’t be at all surprised if it turned out that he is actually married already.

“What do you mean I’m not committed? I haven’t even looked at anyone else since I met you.” Satoru sounds a 100% convinced that he is right with this point. You can barely fathom how he thinks this makes him looks committed.

“That just mean that we are exclusive, not that you are committed. You just show up whenever you want to have some fun and leave. This is all we are.” You take a deep breath, yet your fury doesn’t subside so you continue even though you won’t be able to take these words back. “But prove me wrong. Look into my eyes and tell me that you would be here if I wasn’t your soulmate. I know I wouldn’t.”

Gojo Satoru is speechless for maybe the first time in his life. He silently watches you, dumbfounded, as you take a sip of your water, tears running down your face. You consciously make an effort to calm down, which is not easy with the heavy silence looming over you. But after a while you feel strong enough to go through with this.

“Satoru, we are clearly dysfunctional. We tried it, it didn’t work out. We can’t do the same thing over and over again and expect things to change. You made a point to show, time and time again, that you don’t want to step out of your comfort zone to meet me halfway. You don’t have to, it’s not an obligation, you are right about that.” ‘Deep breaths, Y/n, you can do this. Breathe in, breathe out, baby.’

“I… just can’t work with the little to nothing you are giving me now. Let’s just split while we can do it in peace. Neither of us is happy right now, so we’ll just keep jumping at each other’s throats.” You somehow manage to power through the break-up, you finish your water while trying to stop your silent sobs. Gojo is sitting on a bar stool, he holds his head up with one hand while he just stares at the counter before him.

Once you place your glass in the sink you go to change back to your normal clothes and gather everything you need. The whole house is eerily quiet, and the glass, metal, and marble interior just seems so much colder than it was a few hours ago. When you get back down Satoru is still where you left him, he doesn’t say anything, not even when you bid goodbye. You can’t even guess what it is that made him speechless.

Satoru is stuck. He can’t do anything but repeat your words in his head. He relived your breakup dozens of times in his head trying to make sense of it. It’s like he’s twisting the knife again and again. He can feel the pain but he still can’t rationalize you leaving. You are just… gone? He can feel everything he usually keeps under control overwhelm him. It’s paralysing. He feels like he’s drowning.

1 year 7 months 0 weeks 4 days 16 hours 17 minutes 56 seconds

You are in complete darkness. You can’t see anything. You can’t hear anything. When you start to panic due to the lack of information you finally hear a familiar sound; Satoru’s voice. You spin around so fast you almost feel light-headed, but when you see Satoru you actually feel like fainting. He is locked in a box, and no matter what you do you can’t get him to notice you or get him out of the box. You scream at the top of your lungs, you bang on the box until you can’t lift your arm anymore, it’s no use. You feel so helpless, it breaks your heart…

You miss him a lot. Well, that’s an understatement. You miss him every minute of every day, he just won’t leave your mind, not awake, not asleep. Your heart aches and that doesn't stop. It probably never will as long as you are away from Satoru. These past two weeks you can barely do anything, worst of all; you can barely sleep. Sometimes you even refuse to. You don’t care how bad it gets, you’ll do anything to stop the nightmares. Especially this recurring one about Gojo being locked away. It feels so chilling despite it being the least hurtful in theory.

You don’t have to think a lot about what the dream could mean. You shut out Gojo and it feels like your heart is trying to get revenge on you for the hurt you’re causing it. You know you love Satoru, and you are so afraid that there’s nothing in this world that could change that. Not time, not space, not his behaviour. Even now, you lie awake after waking up from that damned nightmare again. You barely got an hour of sleep and you aren’t sure if you can go back to sleep again.

You try so hard to remember all shit he did, all the times he brushed you off, all the times you cried alone in your apartment because he couldn’t make it when you needed him the most. Your heart and mind is trying its hardest to bury every one of Satoru’s wrongdoings under the happy memories, but you don’t want to forget. You can’t just erase everything, your love for him isn’t supposed to be unconditional. He needs to do better so you can forgive him.

Probably this is why you could go through with leaving because you think that he will come back to you. You think that whatever you have is strong enough to pull him right back to you, it has to be. You are soulmates for a reason, you have to be. Saying that you met at the wrong time is a lot easier than trying to come to terms with Satoru being the wrong person for you. Whatever this whole soulmate thing is, it can't make a mistake that big, can it?

There has to be something else, you just can’t accept that. It already is hard enough to do something else other than drowning in your self-pity you don’t need to open that can of worms. During the daytime you have to suck it up and work, you are an adult and nobody will else take care of you. But at night you can give in just a little, just let the emotions take over...

Why can’t you be like every other soulmate, why can’t you just work? Why can’t Satoru just trust you? You were going on and on about you trusting him, but wasn’t he the one who didn’t trust you? He couldn’t share absolutely anything important about himself. He didn’t feel the need to let you in his life, so how could you let him into yours?

1 year 8 months 1 week 5 days 14 hours 35 minutes 16 seconds

Work parties suck, you can’t let loose because you are working with these people and if you do, you are the topic of the office gossip for a while. That being said, everyone has those days, and sometimes you severely overestimate how much alcohol you can handle. Only this time it isn’t the case; you are just fine. Well, you aren’t fine but you aren’t drunk. Just heartbroken. Having to deal with everyone bringing up Gojo during the small talk was draining you.

You know they don’t mean to hurt you but lying that you and he are doing well over and over again broke you little by little. You couldn’t admit it, you are still very much in denial and want to avoid this whole thing. Unfortunately, you can’t, so you just say what ends that conversation the fastest, this way you don’t have to deal with the pity either. So yes, the few drinks you’ve had might have something to do with you weeping in the bathroom of the party venue, but they aren’t the sole cause.

You haven’t looked at pictures of you together in weeks. It was painful, but of course today everyone and their mother asked to see your boyfriend. In any other situation, you would bless the skies for giving you a man that knows how to take a picture of himself. Not today though. Seeing how his eyes sparkle while he’s looking down at you sleeping on his chest or how he playfully pouts as you take a photo of him while waiting for your food. They brought back so many memories. It’s hard knowing he’s not with you.

The one photo you keep showing everyone, it was your background too before it got too painful to look at. Gojo took the picture in an elevator mirror, his arms are around you and he tilts his head so his temple rests on the top of your head. You on the other hand barely peek out from his bear hug. The sheer happiness is evident though. Your eyes are a thin line, and even with lower half of your face buried in your red scarf, it’s clear that it’s from the wide smile on your face.

You miss these days. The good days, the days full of laughter. Right now you don’t even care why you broke up in the first place, you just want him back. You try to suppress your sobs, because in this state you can’t even talk. You hardly make out anything through the glossy wall of tears, but you somehow make it to his contact or at least you think you do. Your thumb is hovering over the call button. The only thing in your mind is missing him. You miss him so much, your chest never stops aching no matter what you do. You’re psyching yourself up to press the button when a familiar voice calls out.

“Y/n, is everything alright?” When the sound of your name registers you look up. It’s one of your colleagues, they stand across the room from you, looking concerned and confused. The adrenaline rush is instant from feeling like you just got caught committing some kind of crime.

“S-sure,” you try to answer confidently, but your sobs don’t let you say anything without stuttering. “Just, you know, lovers quarrel.” You quickly add because you realise you need to explain it somehow. People don’t just randomly break down. You know they wouldn’t tell people about you breaking down even if you were visibly intoxicated. You, however, aren’t the type of person to rely on chance, not when you can do something about it. This is why you purposefully give them a personal answer that they would feel bad about spreading.

“Do you want to talk about it?” they ask carefully, even though you two aren’t close you know they want to help you. As much as you appreciate it, you really don’t. You just want to go home and find something Gojo left in your house so you can cuddle it to sleep. This way you can pretend he is just away on a business trip. You take a deep breath and go to the sink and you lean on it.

“Well, not everything is sunshine and rainbows, but we’ll get through it,” you reassure them as you gather yourself enough to start covering up the fact that you cried. You need to leave this damn toilet sooner or later.

1 year 8 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours 03 minutes 39 seconds

You’ve just got out of the taxi and finished paying the driver when you feel the buzz in your pocket. At first, you think that it’s probably one of your colleagues sending you way too many messages at once. There were quite a few who got carried away with the drinks, giving you big hugs and promising to check on you when they got home. As if you were the one who needed to be checked up on.

After a second or two it was obvious that your phone won’t stop vibrating, instead insisting on getting your attention. You sigh, getting it out of your pocket. You don’t want to deal with anyone at this time of the day - night? - it’s late and you just want to get to bed. Alas, you gather your remaining energy for one more social interaction. With another deep breath, you glance at the caller ID.

‘Gojo Satoru’

You do a double-take. Your chest suddenly feels tight, the all familiar feeling of anxiety taking over you. Your hands start to shake as you rush to take the call. You are so afraid he will hang up before you get the chance to talk to him.

“Hello…?” you trail off, unsure what to say when you pick up. You daydreamed of this for weeks, but you didn’t think it would be in these circumstances. You imagined that he would show up at your house unannounced with a bouquet of beautiful flowers; asking for forgiveness. Or maybe he would keep ringing your doorbell at 3 am, too drunk to stay away from you. You didn’t expect a call. At night. Especially not from a sober Satoru.

“Oh, hey. I… I didn’t think you would pick up. I should’ve thought of something to say before calling you, haven’t I?” He sounds tired. During all these weeks you never thought about Gojo doing as badly as you do. It never crossed your mind that he might be tossing and turning all night as well. That he might have the same nightmares as you do. You assumed it’s hard on him too, but he was always fine. Seemingly sailing through life without a care in the world. He never sought you out for comfort, or at least he didn’t show it if he did.

“Satoru… Is everything alright?” Your voice is as shaky as your hands are while you try to slip your key into the lock of the gate.

“Yes. No… Shit… I guess I just wanted to hear your voice… God, I miss you so much. It’s unbearable.” he mutters, the pain clear in his voice. You feel your eyes already tearing up. You miss him too, more than you could express.

“Toru-” you start, you aren’t sure how you want to finish the sentence. But you don’t need to as he cuts you off before you could get out anything else.

“No, this was a terrible idea. I shouldn’t have called you, especially this late. Just forget about this. Okay? It’s not right… I’m sorry. I love you.” He doesn’t even wait for you to react. He hangs up.

As you get into your apartment, completely on autopilot at this point, you don’t even bother to wipe away the tears. Looks like he wasn’t happy with only breaking his promises, he needed to break you too. All over again; trampling on the pieces crushing them to even smaller shards.

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