#I find myself writing the scenes I can ‘see’ and then put them in appropriately the right order in a word doc

[3amfanfiction]

How do you find yourself writing your stories? Is it chronologically where you start at the beginning? Do you start with what interests you most? Something else?

Feel free to share for a larger audience size!

[toutvatoujoursbien]

A (relatively new-ish) fan’s perspective on Luke Newton

(I wrote my very first Tumblr post last month and now I think I’ve chosen the path of essayist/suffering. I’ve also been writing this on and off for four weeks because it seems like every other day, something new pops up or the fandom has a meltdown of some kind. I’m not even sure if it’s worth posting, but I think, like my first one, I needed to get this out of my system in order to TRY and return to being a normal person - which is still unlikely because Lukola has me in a chokehold. NOTE: I finished the majority of this on July 19, before all the weird-ass stuff happened over the weekend, and haven’t had the chance to post until now. Anyway, this is going to be long, full of ramblings that are hopefully organized in a cohesive manner, and all opinions and observations are my own. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings, okay?)

I’ve really struggled to understand why the whole Bridgerton S3 and Luke Newton PR stunt has embedded itself into my brain the way it has. Like, how could the actions of someone I don’t know still be lingering in my thoughts even now, weeks later? After my first post, I realized that there was more to the entire LN situation than I was previously unaware of - so I started digging. None of this information is hidden or secret, it was publicly available and therefore the fans picked up on it quickly. But I, personally, DID NOT KNOW ANY OF IT, going into S3, and I think that’s why everything has hit me like a ton of bricks. So I thought, surely I’m not the only new(ish) fan who has suffered from this emotional and mental whiplash? 

I really, really, really loved Luke’s portrayal of Colin and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed watching all the interviews and behind-the-scenes from S3. I would also love to continue to support him as he builds his acting career. However, I didn’t have a full picture, which unfortunately includes a history of making - what I think are - poor and questionable decisions in his personal life that he also allowed to bleed into his professional one. And that’s how I find myself struggling with the dichotomy of everything I’ve seen him do during Bridgerton promo vs. lots of other actions he’s taken. So let’s talk about it, okay? (Importantly, I reserve the right to update my current opinions as more information comes to light.)

I want it to be clear that I am in no way hating on Luke. Part of my struggle with writing this post has been because I don’t want this to be misconstrued as more hate being thrown his way. That is not my intention, at all. Seeing “fans” over the past few weeks absolutely rip into him on social media has been heartbreaking and deeply unsettling. This type of behavior is ugly and nasty and no one should be subjected to it. Full stop. As others have said: it’s okay to have thoughts and criticisms (criticism ≠ hate), but please keep it to the appropriate corners of the Internet. I think you can admire/support a famous person, but you should also be able to call them out on their conduct, particularly the stuff that happens in public. Blind love/following and putting people on pedestals is never going to allow any room for reflection and/or growth. I think there is a LOT of nuance in the whole discussion around him, his past actions, his handling of things now, and what’s in store for the future.

Okay, deep breaths & continue after the cut (because this got… wordy).

Some brief background on how I got here: As noted previously, I’ve been a longtime fan of both Polin and Bridgerton, first with the book series and then with the tv show. But, for whatever reason, I never even thought about jumping into the fandom until earlier this year, in anticipation of Season 3. I will say that I have been delighted with Nicola and Luke and their work as Polin from the start, but with the nature of the show being what it is, I just didn’t pay as much attention until it was their turn to lead. I watched some behind the scenes and promos occasionally, but not consistently. It wasn’t until around the February/Valentine’s event that I started to take notice and then I fell down the rabbit hole in April (literally, figuratively, and spiritually 😅). I say all this to illustrate that up until the spring, I was part of the General Audience, though admittedly with a bias towards viewing Bridgerton favorably.  Another factor is that I got most of my fandom content from Twitter (again, I’m never going to call it X), with the occasional peek into Instagram and Tumblr. Yes, Twitter is a hellscape. But I am also lazy and only have so much time to scroll online. And since everything seems to get cross-posted everywhere, it was easiest for me to keep mostly to one social media site to consume all my Bridgerton content. But I point this out because I now see this as an error on my part. Why? Because I wasn’t getting a well-rounded picture of the situation around L, N and S3. Remember my own self-admitted social media bubble? Sigh. The fast pace of tweets meant I could blink-and-miss something on Twitter, unless it trended (or really riled the fans up). It’s a breeding ground for the hyperbolic and for discourse, in general. Twitter also seems to be divided into the Luke Haters (let’s be real, most of their “reasoning” is just uncalled for, vile hate) and the Luke Apologists (who have the tendency to exhibit, imo, some gross-excuse-all-his-behaviors-he-never-does-anything-wrong rhetoric). So it wasn’t until I started noticing chatter of Luke’s past actions that it prompted me to start looking deeper into what others have witnessed and noted online, particularly on this platform. Again, it wasn’t like I was trying to find some sort of hush-hush subject matter. Instead, I rather got the impression that those established in the fandom had a sort of unspoken agreement to keep these discussions to DMs and group chats - mostly as to not detract from Polin’s upcoming season. (But seriously, great of y’all to keep it locked down, however it would have really helped a girl out all the times I was like, “why is everyone so mad?” 🤣) And a lot of things started clicking into place once I knew more of the details. So I’ve put together a list of high-level topics/points that I didn’t know before, being relatively new to the fandom. Perhaps this can help other fans who are trying to wrap their heads around the various discussions occurring now and may feel clueless.

One more thing, HUGE shout-out to @jack4132cf for giving me a concise timeline of… well, everything I apparently missed last year+ when I wasn’t part of the fandom 😆🙌🏼 They’ve really helped me fill in the blanks (of which I had many)! Also, darcytaylor has a great 3-part deep dive, and I’ve read (and backtracked) through most of herejusttosufferalong and allsortsofthingsmpov ’s blogs, among others. They’ve provided a place for differing opinions and perspectives to be voiced in a respectful manner (unless you’re a troll, in which any clap-back is justified). I may not agree with everyone’s take, but I firmly believe that hearing views from others has helped shape my own thought process.

Let’s begin, shall we?

The Hot Fuck Boy Summer™️ (which I’m trademarking as HFBS)

Bridgerton S3 wrapped up filming in March 2023 and then Luke starred in the play The Shape of Things, which was in production from around May-July 2023. At some point prior to all this, Luke and his previous gf broke up - this is reported on by several media outlets in March, as well as “news” that he joined the dating app Raya. This is where, I think, his questionable behavior starts to raise eyebrows. It’s not the fact that he’s dating - I feel like fans gave him a pass since he just ended a long-term relationship (Enter the mentality some had of “let him have his hot boy summer!”). No, I think the issue is that he was not at all private or discreet about it. 

Remember when I said I think he let choices in his personal life bleed over into his professional one? Yeah, there were multiple glaring examples happening in real time last year, and the fandom took notice. He started publicly following certain users on IG and liking their posts, (unfortunately) many of whom were young, female models and dancers, under the age of 23. He (foolishly) followed his private account on his public profile, and then tried to backpedal. He engaged with some online flirtations that didn’t sit well with the fans (cough, E. Bear, cough), and then tried to backpedal. Mind you, all of this occurred and at some point later on, it’s then also decided that he’s going to move (aka, clean up) his social media presence to be more work-related. My point is:

Luke was digitally messy and left a trail (several, really). 

In conjunction with the HFBS, we also have:

& That Friend Group

Ah yes, the “boys.” Look, clearly I don’t know his friend group in real life, so all I can speak on is the image they give off based on their public social media accounts. And I, personally, am very unimpressed with what they’ve chosen to share with the world. My general perception is that L’s group of friends love to have a good time and show it off; seem to have an large amount of influence over him, particularly R; and can been seen as reaping the benefits of his success. He has discussed before how he likes to be generous with his friend group. During HFBS, they posted all about their vacations, on public accounts, and tagged Luke in them. They posted thirst trap photos and tagged Luke in them. They took quite a few boat trips and, once again, tagged Luke in them. Are we sensing a pattern here?

His friend group was also digitally messy and left trails.

I am in no way saying his friends aren’t allowed to post whatever they want on their accounts. It’s totally within their rights to have a good time and capture it on their pages, and I completely understand the desire to only show the “memorable” and “fun” stuff on social media. I just think it was short-sighted to NOT consider that Luke’s fans would be interested in seeing what he was up to with his friends - and you know that people will always, always dig around on the Internet. Maybe this was some kind of fun game to them? Maybe they enjoyed the attention? Maybe they didn’t think it was that big a deal? Who knows? But I think, in hindsight, it would have been safer and smarter to not have all this documented and out in the open, imo. 

My other understanding is that around the time the break up was “officially announced,” Luke’s ex began dating someone who was 22/23 at the time. His childhood friend R also ended a relationship last year and began dating a young woman around 22/23. Do I think R may have encouraged Luke in a certain direction dating-wise, especially considering that A was/is a friend of S, R’s new gf? Do I wonder if this was all to get back at J for starting a relationship with a new young thing, too? It seems likely, but of course this is all conjecture on my part. This is giving “high school drama” vibes, being played out in public, which is very, very  unfortunate.

However, Luke was ultimately the person who did not ask his friends to refrain from posting him on social media, as well as publicly following young women on socials and not being very discreet about his dating life, which is what raises my eyebrows…

The Age Gap Thing

Let’s just address this here and now. Remember, these are my opinions, each individual is entitled to their own, and I hope everyone takes a moment to really think and evaluate how they feel about the matter! I’m going to be very transparent and upfront about this:

I do not like the age gap between L and many of the young women he was showing interest in last year.

I’m viewing this from the lens of someone who is an elder Millennial and female. For me, personally, my dislike has more to do with: 1) A's age when they started dating/the age she is now (22/23); but more specifically 2) the power dynamics at play. 

I don’t have a problem with age gaps overall, because I believe that love can find us at many stages in life. However, I’m also of the opinion that a person 30+ should not be dating a someone in their early 20s. I’m not going to use the whole “the brain hasn’t been fully developed” argument, though valid. My issue has more to do with where an individual is in terms of life experience, emotional and overall maturity, and (this ties in with #2) financial stability within age gaps. In general, I find, say, a 45-year-old dating a 37-year-old to be on more even footing, which becomes even more so as you age. But a 22-year-old, presumably fresh out of college/university and about to embark on their next steps into adulthood, is just not in a position to date someone in their 30s. To me, your early 20s are the time for you to gain all the things I mentioned above (life experience, maturity, financial stability that is independently your own) as well as make plenty of mistakes. And that’s not to say any of that stops once you hit 30, or beyond! I know I’m constantly evolving and learning more about myself and my place in the world as each year passes.

My deeper discomfort comes from the inherent power dynamics and power imbalance between L/A. Of course L has lot more of the power in terms of money, resources and status; they are not equal partners. This article here (https://jill.substack.com/p/the-problem-with-men-who-date-much) illustrates these points much better than I can; I think it’s worth the read. 

Is he allowed to date whomever he so chooses? Yes. Are people allowed to feel the ick with the current choice/choices he made last year? Also yes. Does it entitle anyone to post nasty comments on his social media? Absolutely not. I may not personally like his choice, but it’s ultimately his to make. 

NOTE: I also want to address right here that, to me, his behavior isn’t “predatory” or whatever twisted narrative some folks are trying to push. Honestly, I think he’s gone the complete opposite direction from the type of women his ex and N are because it might be less complex/more simple both in terms of emotions and permanence. But obviously, pure speculation on my part. 

Antagonistic A

At some point during HFBS, L meets A and she becomes a part of That Friend Group. During Fall 2023, there are many trips to Soho Farmhouse and other posts made to R/S/A’s social media accounts. A in particular made quite a few posts that could be interpreted as her wanting to show she was with L, but never actually including him fully (these are the arms/legs photos that fans talk about and side-eye). Some of these types of posts have since been conveniently deleted. L and That Friend Group celebrate NYE24 at Soho Farmhouse, where everyone but him share photos and videos. On Jan 2, a photo of L and A kissing was circulated on social media -  they got caught in the video of the band playing. Also at the beginning of this year, A - for whatever fucking reason - started tagging along on various work trips and had a tendency to post TikTok’s from various hotel bathrooms. Again, insinuating that she’s with L but not outright showing it. 

The “InStyle stunt” - end of March/early April, there is a trip to Los Angeles which A posted stories and photos on IG. It’s later revealed that L was going to be featured in InStyle Magazine’s “This Guy” series, which included an interview, video and photoshoot, as well as an IG post that consisted of several polaroid, “boyfriend-style” pictures. The Instyle polariods were released three weeks after A’s posts, and let’s just say that A’s are a little too on the nose to be coincidence (also cue more hand/leg reveals…) Please note, again, that some of these photos on A’s account have been conveniently deleted/removed.

These are only a few examples of how… messy this all is and how it can be viewed as her antagonizing the fans. There is a lot of back and forth debate between “just leave her alone, she’s allowed to post what she wants” against “she’s clearly using social media to taunt the fandom/get attention/chase clout/etc.” When I finally learned about all the social media games being played, I just felt really unsettled for a few reasons.

Luke has stated that he wishes to keep his private life more private (see: social media clean-up from last fall). But, and this is my big issue here, A and That Friend Group don’t seem to WANT to be private. So to me, that can push people to question how much does he know what’s actually going on (he admits to not being online much) and, more importantly, how complicit is he with all of their postings? I personally feel like the narrative being pushed by his friends is very self-serving, and doesn’t seem like it’s in L’s best interest or protecting his privacy. Because I think we all know and understand that if a celebrity wants to keep certain things private, they have the money and resources to do so - some good examples that come to mind are Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes, Benedict Cumberbatch, Dolly Parton, and our girl Nicola herself.

A has made it a pattern to post shortly after either Nicola or the main Bridgerton account posts something, usually on IG or TT; there is timely evidence of this. So much so that the fandom jokes about how obsessed she must be with N. And these posts don’t really have much substance - other than to show off her body or her latest vacation. It just all comes off as very insecure and seeking attention, whether it’s from L or from the public in general. Again, why do we feel the need to play social media games? But this does not mean she deserves hateful comments either. I personally don’t care for her or her actions, but as an older female, I also can’t help but be saddened by the fact that she’s making many, many poor choices in a very public forum. I can’t help but wonder if she’s going to have regrets later on when/if she reflects back on this time. 

The PR Stunt/Papgate

This has been dissected by the fandom to death and there are a plethora of theories on who exactly was responsible for calling the paparazzi, who knew what was actually going to happen, WHY did this occur, and how much did this impact the season and the press tour overall. It’s enough to make anyone’s head spin - hell, I’ve changed my opinion at least a dozen times over the past several weeks. Regardless, the thing that aggravates me the most about the whole thing is the absolutely terrible and suspicious timing of it. As stated in my previous post: Here’s my point: I think what should have been a moment of triumph and a joyous occasion for Nic, Luke, and Bridgerton season 3, was sadly overshadowed by the aforementioned shitstorm. And that’s a damn shame. Too many cast and crew put in a lot of time, effort, and blood sweat and tears, to pull this all together.

I’m still personally stuck on a few things: 1) How did paps know when L was leaving the official after party? Additionally, how did they know which hotel L was going to for his after-after party? Because that’s where we got the super awkward handhold attempt photos. 2) Did L know about the first location but not the second one - which ties into was this an attempt by his PR team to distance himself from Bridgerton and Nicola now that promo was almost done? Because the way he looks from location 1 to 2 is vastly different. 3) If paps were there, why was literally NO ONE else from the cast also photographed??? 4) Why has DM double (and tripled) down over the past few weeks on how she got those exclusive photos in the first place? And 5) Who ultimately has benefited the most from this whole PR stunt 🤔??? (Because I sure as hell don’t think it’s Luke…)

The Cinnamon Roll vs The Bad Boy

Luke has stated in several interviews that he’s interested in going for edgier, darker roles. I think that’s great that he wants to try something new and diversify; I would love to see him in whichever type of role interests him! However, he’s also spent 4-5 years playing Colin, a character that is quirky, kind and lovable (much more so on the show, thanks to Luke’s portrayal) and known for being the ultimate “wife guy” amongst the fandom. It’s also been mentioned time and time again that Luke is most like his character (by Luke himself and his Bridgerton cast mates). Nic speaks so highly of him, and the way he presented himself during the 6 months of press was really wonderful; I think he has a deep understanding and love for his role, and he was a genuinely supportive partner to his co-lead during filming. Think golden retriever energy - which is NOT a bad thing, at all!

If there is any truth to the PR stunt being organized by his team (and I’m in no way saying this is fact) as a way to differentiate/disassociate him from Bridgerton/Nicola, then I think this was a miscalculation on their part. We know that Luke did a lot of editorial photoshoots during the promo tour; and looking at the pictures now, it seems like there was definitely a narrative/aesthetic that was trying to be pushed of a more intense, moody and provocative L. Which is also fine! I don’t think he must be one personality or the other; humans are multi-faceted and complex, it’s what makes us so interesting.

The (Ongoing) Fallout

This is really difficult to write about because, honestly, I feel like we’re still witnessing it happening in real time, bit by agonizing bit. What we do know is that at this moment, he hasn’t announced any new projects other than returning for Bridgerton Season 4. He hasn’t announced any major brand deals and we don’t know what his next steps are career-wise. Which is completely baffling to me because I would think he and his team would want to capitalize on the momentum of a very successful season of a Netflix/Shondaland production. However, this is his life and his job, so until he comes forward with literally anything to say (a statement, an announcement, hell, he hasn’t even publicly claimed to have a gf FFS), then everything else is just noise and speculation. As much as I hope he’s not taking another HFBS, I also wouldn’t blame him for wanting to step away from the spotlight. He’s been unfairly dragged and smeared since the Part 2 premiere. Do I think he and his team/friend group have made a some missteps along the way? Yes, but again, no one deserves the nasty comments and vitriol that has been flung his way. 

So How Do We Move Forward?

I keep thinking back to the adage: When someone shows you who they are, believe them.*

And isn’t this the root of my (and perhaps others’) struggle? Because it��s been really difficult to reconcile someone Nicola calls “a true gentleman, the kindest friend, a dream costar” with a man who seemingly (?) goes along with pap walks, Instagram subterfuge, and appears to be distancing himself from the very project and costars that helped propel him into the leading man spotlight. For me personally, I go back to my point that people are multi-faceted and deeply complex. I think Luke can be all of those things; I also think he might be struggling right now to figure out who he is and what he wants next after being scrutinized so heavily.

Also from my first post: We have to remember, though, that what we’re shown is only a fraction of their true selves, carefully and deliberately curated to accommodate their status as actors/celebrities/those in the public eye. 

I choose to believe that we saw glimpses of the real Luke throughout the press tour. (ColinBridgey is a rockstar and compiled everything into a master list for our enjoyment!) I choose to believe Nicola knows Luke a hell of a lot better than almost everyone else yapping in this conversation. I choose to believe that his anxiety and quietness could be perceived as standoffish, and unfortunately he wasn’t able to shine as much as Nicola during the press tour, but they are a team and have each other’s backs - there is genuine love there, after all. I choose to believe that social media posting and likes are not indicative of the actual friendship and relationship between L and N. I would love to see him post more, or be more vocal in publicly thanking Bridgerton and Nicola - however, I realize those are expectations I have/desire and he does not owe me anything. 

I choose to believe that despite the mistakes and missteps, he’s a decent human being who deserves to live his life on his own terms and at his own speed. I really, really hope that whenever he announces his next project, I can be joyful and supportive. There’s a lot of talk about giving him grace, which I agree with. I cannot imagine, nor do I desire to be in the public eye this way; it’s easy for us and others to feel entitled to say things behind our screens and keyboards, but these are real, actual people with lives and feelings.

I do think that it is for the best interest of the fandom to try and ignore A and That Friend Group (and DM) as much as possible. And I will be the first to admit that it is really fucking hard to do so. Like I’ve said before, I try to ignore toxicity and hate, but I am also human and therefore imperfect and capable of pettiness. There is just something about this situation (probably how much Lukola captivated me and how much disdain I have for his friend group) that makes me watch everything play out like it’s a train on fire, careening towards an unfinished bridge, over a ravine. Sometimes I feel bad because I wonder if I’m adding to the entire spectacle with my continued interest. But then I remember that I specifically keep it to this corner of the internet, and I’ve found a nice little community where we can gossip and discuss and dissect it all.

If you’ve made it to the end, thank you. This is just everything I’ve been ruminating over the past month, put into word vomit form. I would looove to hear your thoughts and takes on everything/anything discussed above. Maybe you have a different perspective or noticed something that I missed.

*Fun fact: In my research, I learned that this saying comes from Maya Angelou’s “A Song Flung Up to Heaven” and is actually "Believe people when they tell you who they are. They know themselves better than you.” The more well-known version comes out of an Oprah Winfrey interview with Angelou in 1997, where they were discussing life lessons. Okay, I’ll stop being a nerd now.

[aheathen-conceivably]

I really want to start my own legacy challenge and post it here! But idk how to make it look as pretty and as good as you, do you have any tips?

Nonny, first and foremost, thank you! 🥰

While I am usually very happy with the way my posts look now, it wasn’t always that way, and I think the biggest part of this is the process. If you go back and look at my early story posts (and even before that, to my first builds that I posted here) you’ll see that the style and techniques I used then are very different than what I do now.

All too often I find simblrs (and creators in general) will delete or redo their early work. As a perfectionist myself I totally get and share that instinct, but simultaneously I think that looking back helps remind me that it takes practice and discovery that’s still ongoing. I’ll try to help with a few tips I’ve learned along the way, but I truly don’t think there’s any better answer than trial and error!

1. Camera tips and tricks:

First and foremost, always take your photos in tab mode. Even if it’s just gameplay shots, this allows you to get creative with angles and go closer/further away for those detail shots or sweeping landscape ones. On that note, don’t be afraid to take the same photo from multiple angles so that you can look back at them and choose the best one.

Something I read very early on that helped me was to zoom in as close as possible to the shot that you want, and then back away using the S key rather than zoom out. Likewise, avoid zooming in and out and then in again in tab mode, as it can cause distortion in the background. However, there are also times when that distant background looks great, so this is just a good place to start that you can play around with over time. And have fun! Get those detail shots and low angles and things that might not seem like the most obvious shot but somehow work really well.

2. Take time on the details:

Now this is an overarching one because I mean all the details, from the world, to the builds, to interior decorating, to sim details, to their outfits. Now you may only enjoy a handful of these, and by no means do you have to jump in with all of them at once. For me, I really enjoy interior decorating so I put a lot of energy into my sets, that way when I go to take photos the backdrop work is already done. I really try to ensure that the backgrounds of photos are never empty (which is sometimes just clever angles) so this goes a long way to making a post look good and gives the viewer lots of little cues about the sims in the scene.

Likewise, I spend a lot of time on sims outfits. Usually this is in tangent with their personality and where they are in their story, but you’ll also notice small things like characters will not always be wearing shoes at home or an apron/hat will be taken off at an appropriate point in the scene. Small details like this ground a character in their setting and help relate your writing and/or unwritten details to the viewer.

3. Editing:

This is one that I think is really mutable to your personal tastes and goals. I’ve seen some simmers really go above and beyond with unique templates or text while others (ahem, me) will just brighten up or increase the contrast of a shot. I know others will often use photoshop for more detailed editing, but I stick with an online service just to make the brightness and colors pop. Even still, those few extra steps can really balance out the in-game lighting or make a photo even more pleasing to look at, so I really recommend finding something you like if aesthetics are important to you.

4. All the extra things:

Simmers, I think you already know where I’m going with this. Sometimes this game isn’t exactly the most pleasing to look at, so things like lighting mods, swre, or reshade really help you as a creator and can take your screens to the next level. As I’m sure y’all know by now I fought the reshade train for a long time, and even still I can see how this process can be over involved or overwhelming; however I won’t deny that the addition of it to my game is by far the biggest step I’ve taken to making my photos look as good as they currently do, and it has saved me a lot of time on manually editing. But I do not think it’s by any means necessary, and lighting mods are a good place to start for these in-game enhancers.

5. Trust the process

Yes, I’m ending this ramble by reiterating the point I stated at the beginning. I cannot stress enough that it takes time and practice to find your style and the techniques that work for you. I would really encourage you to go back to this post compared to recent ones and look at how different the camera angles and ideas behind the shots are. Changing is okay! Find what you’re really excited about in your images (which for me, y’all may be able to tell from the beginning, was the outfits and set design) and really enjoy that process. It comes through in the images, I promise!

Most of all, don’t feel like you have to perfect your visuals before you start posting here. Community feedback and just the joy of engaging can be such a motivator to continue, and quite honestly, if there is a place to grow your style and content as you go it’s here. People are so willing to help and answer questions as you encounter new roadblocks or ideas, and so starting that network and gathering that inspiration is pivotal to making your content look the way you want it to.

I know that I for one hope you post your legacy, Nonny! I always love seeing new people come aboard and I hope this could be helpful to you 💕

[siriuslyprincesssarah]

A little vent session

I find it so funny that the same people who are getting onto me about supposedly not properly tagging my story are now getting onto me about tagging my story improperly when the endgame is Harry and Hermione, and I have tagged it so from the beginning. Soulmates can be platonic and Harry and Hermione are for NOW, but soon it will change.

Hermione and Draco are a separate story, and what is of them within Enchanted will last four 1/2 total chapters. Two 1/2 which are already posted. The rest will be back to Harry and Hermione fighting each other until when they finally get together near the prologue. I did, in fact, tag it appropriately. As I stated to one reader, when we read a book in real life, we don't have pre-tags. When I started writing fanfiction, there were no tags at all. Many don't tag their fics, but I try my best to tag them to give people a heads-up. A few people just don't like it because I am including Draco. Who is important to the storyline starting during the next chapter.

I finally had enough, and I'm screening reviews. People are being rude and think they know everything and how it is going to be planned out. NO ONE knows everything. I have no beta. All I am is a school teacher who writes her ideas of what she wishes would have happened after the books out into the universe.

This story was conceived on a road trip to Washington, D.C., over one year ago. On my way down, I listened to Spotify and somehow was stuck listening to Taylor Swift's complete collection. Many of the scenes were Google transcribed to my notes after I heard a song and sent myself a note while driving. Since then, I've had an outline of how I wanted it to go. After sightseeing, I'd return to the hotel and work on my outline.

This story was never meant to go this long. Initially, I meant for it to be one chapter a year from 1998 to 2007, then end there—ten chapters total—but I couldn't end it there. It got away from me. Ten turned into 20. Twenty turned into 30. My outline has it sitting at 45 if I end it where I originally planned. I may or may not end it before that and create a sequel, though. We will see. Looking back, should I have gotten them together before 2007? Yes, but I started it in 2007, and the way things fall to make it there for certain things, it has to be 2007. I see Hermione as career-oriented and not settling down straight out of school. Of course, I was that way too.

Ending this rant, I beg my readers to please trust the process. I know there is a period right now that some are unhappy with. When the idea came to me, I knew people wouldn't like it. But putting her with Draco worked for four reasons. First, she has a relationship that no one would think she would and briefly tries to move on from what she feels she will never get with Harry. The second will be revealed next week. The third will be revealed in chapter 35. The fourth will be revealed in chapter 36.

Just bear with me and for those who have stuck around and have supported me here. I'll thank you for doing so. The father is. Harry :) Because, of course, it is, and it never was a question. I just wanted to build a little suspense.

Thank you so much for supporting me and reading this if you did.

[anneapocalypse]

15 lines of dialogue

Thank you for the tags @redwayfarers and @lilas!

Tagging: @farfromdaylight @dreadfutures @rosella-writes @darethshirl @ecosystem-administrator @ialpiriel @ishgard

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

These are all going to be from unposted works in progress, but here we go. 😉

"If this is the price of the Blessing of Light—if you're going to take everyone I love, over and over again, then I don't want it! Do you hear me? I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't…"

"You didn't have to do this. You helped save Ishgard, too. You should be here to see the changes you wrought."

“I’ll be honest, I never imagined anyone would use the word ‘formidable’ to describe me. I do most of my work standing behind someone with a sword.”

“It’s not that. I’ve trained under people who didn’t like me or believe in me before. I can handle it. It was… he started going on about how archery was a Wildwood discipline, passed down through generations. He said I could never understand.”

"My home is gone. There’s nothing for me to go back to. I’m not Gridanian. I’m not Ishgardian. I’m not anything. I’m not even… I’m not even one of you. The Scions. Not really. You’ve all known each other for years, you knew Master Louisoix, you have all this history. I’m just some farm girl you pulled off the street because I had headaches and saw things. No matter what people call me, even the ones who think I’m a hero, I’m never one of them. I save the day, and then I move on. I never belong anywhere.”

"I understand you developed a unique variation on the carbuncle? I should love to hear about the theory behind it."

“He’d turn me loose in his library, and then ask me about what I’d read and what I thought of it. No care for what was appropriate for children, either! Ma used to argue with him about it, until she realized it was fruitless. ‘Books are for everyone,’ he’d say. ‘If she can understand it, then she can read it, and if she doesn’t she’ll put it down soon enough and find another.'”

“Urianger, this is important, so listen carefully. I want to hear everything about the fae. Everything. Should you ever doubt my desire to hear about something, you may ask me, ‘Ariane, wouldst thou care to hear of the intricacies of the customs of the fair folk?’ that I may assure you, my dear friend, that I do in fact want to hear all about it.”

“You knew that I would do what needed to be done no matter what, right? You knew that I would not turn from the plight of this star, no matter the danger to myself. That isn’t why you kept this from me, is it?”

"A smile better suits a hero. Perhaps it does, love. Perhaps it does, but I haven't one to give, at the moment."

"What do you know of his history? Do you know how it has haunted him, what he did to Minfilia? What he kept from us? Did you see him shut himself up in the Waking Sands, convinced he deserved neither comfort nor forgiveness?"

“How would I have done otherwise? When have I ever done anything but what other people told me to do? I couldn’t defy my own mother until she was dead.”

"Sometimes she was. Other times, she was a woman who gave in to all her worst fears about the world, one for whom everything beyond our doorstep was deadly and terrifying, and would have denied me a life because of it. But I dare say she was right about the tea. And the soup."

“I loved a woman once who gave up her life for me. And then I loved a man who did the same. And I’m so tired of losing people, I’m so tired—I don’t want anyone else to give up everything for me. I just want someone who will stay. Live with me. Be by my side. Be with me, whatever we face—together. I said I couldn’t ask you to change who you are, but it’s more than that. I don’t want you to change who you are. Just be with me.”

"Perhaps some things are meant to be. But the secret of our art is it's as much shaping the future as it is reading it. You've said yourself, love—you may accept what you see foretold, or defy it. As our dear Minfilia stood before the Flood of Light. It gives me some comfort to think that things can be changed. To believe—and I do—that the future is not set in stone."

[freeuselandonorris]

how do you deal with overwhelm while writing?? i think i’ve bitten off more than i can chew in regards to how long my current wip is going to have to be to actually play out the way i want it to (depth, character development, build up etc). i can’t even come up with scenes anymore, because the scope of the whole story just paralyses me - especially now, given all the things that have been happening irl (landoscar insanity fuel/lando’s win/hug etc) that i want/feel make sense to include, my brain is scrambling to figure out how to make it all fit.

i really enjoy writing when i can get into the kinda flow state but i haven’t been able to do that. have you ever had this happen and what did you do??

xoxox an adoring fan

heyyyy sweet anon thank you so much for messaging and i'm sorry you're having a frustrating time with your piece!

i have absolutely experienced this many many times before (especially with longer pieces) and so i can tell you with some confidence that the reason you can't get into your usual flow state is because you're freaking yourself out by trying to look at the entire piece rather than what you need to write next.

under the cut because i ramble like fuck when i'm talking about writing~

the writer anne lamott has this great technique she calls the 'one inch picture frame' which i find invaluable. basically, when you are sitting there spiralling like, oh god i have so much to write and i need to make sure the middle is snappy and the ending builds appropriately and i get all the characterisation in and oh god what about the world-building... you just tell your brain to shut up, and then you pretend that your story is a huge elaborately painted canvas or a view from a window or whatever, and you think about what you could see of that painting/view through a one-inch picture frame. then you describe that.

in practical terms, here's what that looks like for me. i'll use monday as an example. around the beginning, i wrote myself a vague season outline up to that point - key races, key moments i knew i wanted to include, etc. i added dates, locations and so on in brackets. i put this in a section at the top of my gdoc and then started a new section (i recommend using the title formatting on gdocs so it gives you a clickable link in the outline area) so it was there for easy reference but wasn't like, staring me in the face the whole time. if you're really freaked out though, you might want to put it in an entirely different document. then, as i wrote those bits, i would cross them out using strikethrough so i had a vague idea of where i was at. otherwise, i would IGNORE THAT OUTLINE.

(side note in reference to the overwhelm you feel just coming up with an outline: this thing can be basic as fuck. the good thing about writing motorsport RPF is that we already essentially have a structure in place, i.e. that of the season. that's what i used for monday: i listed all the races, then removed the ones where nothing interesting happened landoscar-wise (the race reports on the mclaren site are invaluable for this!). then i went through the mclaren socials/youtube and slotted in all the insane moments i wanted to capture in roughly the right place in the timeline. and honestly, there were loads of bits i'd put in the outline that i didn't end up using and vice versa. don't worry about being too beholden to the overall shape of the narrative just yet.)

every morning (i write in the morning) i would open the document to my last bit of writing and reread the last paragraph or so to remind myself where i was up to, and i would think about what i could see through the one-inch frame. so for instance, in the chapter where they have the argument in the hotel room after monza, i knew i wanted that argument to happen but where/how/when? i'd written them in the debrief, but i didn't want the argument to happen at the track. so, okay, they're in the corridor of the hotel. they're tentatively speaking to each other. write that. now what? move the frame over a little. now they're in the room, but they're still pissed. write that. now oscar's realising he doesn't want to argue, but he doesn't know how to say what he does want. write that. etc.

this is all a mental game you play with yourself. you go and look at your outline and you look at what scene or plot beat comes next, and then you put on your blinkers and ignore the fact that you're trying to write a long piece. it's not happening, la la la. you're writing one scene. you're writing the next sentence. you're not thinking about what comes after that. i mean, obviously if you know you want to reference x thing in chapter 2 so it can play a bigger part in chapter 3, you can think about that! but you're not thinking about it in the sense of OH GOD THERE IS STILL SO MUCH TO WRITE AND I AM JUST ONE PERSON.

a final tip i find useful to force myself not to overthink and get back into that flow state is timed writing sessions. set a timer for 25 minutes and put your phone on silent, and write as much as you can without stopping to edit. (if you want to carry on after that, knock yourself out. but don't stop to fiddle about with it.)

good luck anon! you haven't bitten off more than you can chew, you just need to take smaller bites 😘

[unadulteratedkr]

2, 18, 19, 46 and a wildcard for you too for the fic writer game 💗

eeee thank you for coming into my inbox and playing with me, Ida 🥰🥰🥰

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

Oh, I absolutely have to outline before I write. Pantsless writers, you terrify me (affectionate). It's not anything very formal, like I'm not doing bullet lists, it's much more stream of consciousness mixed in with me congratulating me on good ideas that get me out of problems I create for myself. It's very chaotic 😂 See below, part of my outline for I am tired, I am yours, where I outright ask myself for help

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

It varies! If I'm writing a sequel to something, I'll often have the title picked out before I finish the piece just to keep it thematically tied to the first one. In my Vianton fics, they're all named from Brandi Carlile songs (listen, she's the first person to admit her love songs are fucked up and it fits the Big emotions of a vampire and a werewolf okay I don't make the rules), and the sequel to my actual!KrakenEd fic was pulled from a poem I used a lot as inspiration for the first fic. Sometimes titles come to me in the middle of a piece, sometimes I'm ready to publish and going ".... oh right. Title. For the fic. The fic's title. The title to go on the fic."

I usually pull from poetry or songs for fic titles, but I have some delightful notable exceptions:

-sin is sacred again is titled from the marketing copy from Kraken Rum. No really. I'm not bullshitting you. Go look.

EDIT: OKAY APPARENTLY SOME COWARD TOOK DOWN THE PART I USED AS INSPIRATION BECAUSE THE MONSTERFUCKER VIBES WERE CLEAR BUT LUCKILY I HAVE SCREENSHOTS

-it's not something I can share yet here, but I also wrote a nsfw digital tie-in piece for the Tying the Knot zine titled "The 'I Duoy' Newlywed Special", which has that title solely because I wanted to capitalize on the fucking AMAZING name @jackuntiljune came up with for Archie's shotgun wedding boat

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

This made me laugh so much because @poorlyformed will be SO proud to hear that there's a TIE between "reunions" and "rimming" in my collection.

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

Ooooo, definitely emotion-driven, but rooted in the characters? Like, I want my writing to evoke emotions, and I write from a very personal place and put a lot of my own heart into my writing, but I also try really hard to make sure that it's rooted in the characters.

Very much how I approach any characters I've ever played too, I think. Like, I bring my own knowledge of the world and of feelings to any part I play, but at the end of the day.... I am NOT a water spirit or an owl or a grad student, and I need to find that character's truth and imagine outside of it, and I try to do that with fic as well. I want to bring what I find compelling to Ed or Stede, but I want to translate it through their characters to make it authentic and fulfilling to THEM.

And for my wild-card, I'm gonna pick, drumroll please [appropriate length drumroll]

#77: Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [insert fic here]?

Because I want to talk about my Stardust AU, Between the Sand and Stardust, which miiiight be my favorite thing I've written?

My favorite scene, bar NONE, was the scene where Stede got transformed into a mouse. One, mouse Stede is literally perfect, Stede as a tiny little dormouse gives me so much joy, but TWO, it's when Ed admits he loves Stede for the first time and it's so ACHINGLY TENDER because he thinks Stede can't understand him so he lets himself be a little more honest about it and ALSO I love it because Stede immediately post-transformation is a dolt and I'm in love with him:

get to know your fic writer!

[ohworm-writes]

As I reach my nearly two-year anniversary of this blog, which will be on February the 28th for any who are curious, I thought it would be appropriate to share a list of blog recommendations. Whether it simply be blogs I am enjoy currently, in the past, or anything else of the like, all deserve even more recognition, believe me.

So, without further ado:

@egcdeath -- By the gods, words cannot describe how absolutely awestruck I am by your work. The way you articulate emotion and action and just- everything? It's a work of art. I fell in love with your 'Love In Bloom' work months ago, and finding you again with your Soccer Parents series makes me ecstatic. I'm always left rereading and hungry for more of your work because it's just that good.

@robynlilyblack -- My absolute favorite Harry Potter writer I've ever read from. You have singlehandedly made me fall for characters I never would have thought about falling for. The emotion you put into your work leaves me weak at the knees sometimes, and the angst, oh boy, does it hurt when I read it. And there's so much comedy in your works, at times I find myself giggling whilst staring at my screen.

@quirkfics -- You write for some of the most underrated characters and I'm so happy that you do just that. I have, many a times, scoured the internet for works relating to specific characters that, unfortunately, almost nobody writes for. And then there's you! I cannot tell you how many hours I've poured into reading and re-reading your works because, truthfully, it's a little embarrassing.

@tired-teacher-blog -- My favorite Aizawa blog bar none. The way you write is, truly, mesmerizing. Every time I read something from you I'm always left in awe, whether that me with a grin or a flustered face or anything else of the like. You are doing the work of the gods.

@simpliao -- One of my favorite jschlatt authors on this website. Everything you write is adorable and fills me with warmth every time I have the blessing of reading through your blog. Everything you do is stunning and I am in love.

@jschqtt -- Another stunningly amazing jschlatt author, though I do love your other works with all the same adoration. Your works are so adorable and I cannot stress how seen I feel with some of your works. The prompts you write from just hit so close to home and the emotion behind them make them all the better.

@slxthxrxn-sxmp -- I initially found you from your Jurassic Park works and by the gods I fell in love with your writing so quickly. Just- every word I see on my screen when I read through your blog is captivating. I truly need to read through all of your works some time because I know how beyond worth it it will be.

@jschllatt -- My favorite jschlatt author on tumblr, easily. Though your blog is/has been, for the time being, inactive, I hope you know how much you, both as an author and as a friend, have impacted me. I still strive to write as amazingly as you do, though I reckon I have quite a bit of work to do before I create such art. You singlehandedly made me fall for more people than I can count by your work and I hate you for it. /j

@dreamwvrld -- The best author I've ever had the chance of reading from. And I mean that in all facets. You have been my idol ever since I started reading from you. The way you create such vivid scenes and the emotions you give the characters in your work leaves me at my knees. I still aspire to be like you, and even though you have left the fanfiction community, as I've told you, I can't wait to see and support you and your future endeavors. You have a fan for life here.

Writing, especially for a niche group as fanfiction writing is, is difficult and at times grueling work. The prospect of creating something designed specifically for a group of people to enjoy can be filling, but it is important to note the time and effort that goes into such work.

I'm apart of such a wide variety of fandoms and seeing so many people create content for them, spilling their thoughts onto a screen- it's beautiful. I'm sure many authors have seen me ramble in adoration about their works before, but it's important (at least in my eyes) to yell to the world 'look at this person and their amazing work!' from time to time.

To every author on this list (and to those who aren't yet), even if you're not currently or no longer active, even if you're only written a small number of works, even if you don't think your work is good (stop that, it is good and so much more), I, as well as the community(ies) you're apart of, adore you. <3

[authortobenamedlater]

Oh, and even tho I know nothing about b5, Half baked B5Halo has me INTRIGUED.

(Hey @infinityactual you might find this interesting re: our conversation this morning.)

Send me WIP asks.

So. This got LONG. Sorry not sorry.

This not-story has the working title “For Such a Time As This” owing to a scene in my head where Delenn says “Perhaps the universe has brought us all together for such a time as this.”Appropriating Bible verses for the Minbari, oh yeah.

Right now this document is just a collection of ideas about how these universes might interact, and a few scenes/ideas. Such as:

- Infinity’s communications officer falls and breaks her nose when they crash out of slipspace. Lasky is shoving gauze at her when Babylon 5 makes contact. He shows up on the station with blood all over his uniform and his first conversation with Sheridan is something like “Do you have laundry around here? Also, what year is it?”

-Garibaldi and Palmer have to chase Halsey around the station. They bond over a shared love for Loony Toons. Palmer is a Roadrunner and Coyote girl, change my mind.

- Franklin is utterly furious when he finds out about the Spartan program. And that’s just the IVs. He doesn’t even know about the IIs.

- Lasky is insanely envious that B5’s computer can turn the attitude OFF and that cryo is not widely used in their world.

- Ivanova and Palmer become besties and give their respective captains a few headaches.

- Garibaldi wants to keep the Spartans because WOW are they useful for security.

- Various Halo characters grappling with the “who are you/what do you want” questions (I have ideas about this I will save for another post).

- What a fight with the Shadows might look like with Infinity in the mix. Seeing as Infinity is more powerful than anything in the B5 world. Sheridan and Lasky would make a fascinating team, too.

- How the Shadows would end up using Halsey, because even she couldn’t outwit them, and the trouble she could make in another universe.

- Lasky muses at some point how Babylon 5 gives him hope that one day humans and aliens can all work together peacefully; maybe the UEG should give something like this a shot. Palmer tells him, “You know they’d want you to run it” and Lasky is like F—- NO.

Now, all my reasons for why this epic will never make it out of my head:

Altering the B5 storyline (namely having to scrap the tensions with Earth for simplicity’s sake) would feel to me like sacking the Jerusalem temple.

I’d need to know even MORE about B5 lore than I already do, not like I’d have a problem with that research project, and a whole lot more about Halo than I do. On that last point, I am married to a walking Halopedia who would gladly tell me everything and then some.

There’s also the matter of having to make several OCs for the Halo side. Aside from Lasky, Palmer, and Roland, we don’t meet many of the Infinity crew. Does Lasky even have a first officer? I mean, he obviously does, but does he ever talk to this person? We got through all of Spartan Ops and Halo 5 with nary an XO in sight.

Finally, silly as this may sound, I’m no Straczynski and don’t trust myself with his characters and universe. I have no problem taking a sledgehammer to Halo because it’s great and fun and sometimes just mind-bogglingly stupid. But B5 is so brilliant I can’t bring myself to touch it. I would be scared of incurring the wrath of my fellow fans and also probably feel like I had to write JMS a letter of apology.

—

I WAS going to post a snippet from this mess of an AU but I’ll put it in a reblog later to keep this post from getting even longer.

[natsmagi]

i was typing this in the notes to an ask but it gogt waaaay too long lol sorry. prefacing it with you know i love your artwork & i have nothing against what you choose to draw. also possibly worded weird cus i didnt write it in the sense of talking only to you alone

there is certainly this conflict between artists as random individuals and artists as a collective when it comes to how to approach this issue… as a hobbyist you can draw whatever you like but also when you have trends like a lack of fatness thats going to be disheartening too. i think the answer is getting more people into making art (& like general societal change of course since its an issue baked into bigotry.)

because as much as i agree with the sentiment of "there is significant under representation of fat women" (or characters in general) at the same time fandom is a hobby space and i dislike the notion of badgering individual artists to draw any particular thing especially when the source material does not have that thing. if you are looking for artwork of fat women thats great but i would not ever recommend something like enstars that has 1. no fat characters and 2. no women, barring a few exceptions. i think expecting to find fanart of fat women from a source entirely composed of thin men is unrealistic, even with the relative popularity of femstars.

plus there are other complications such as the typical modern fandom f/f scene sometimes being very strict and even vicious at times with their standards of what's enough diversity or what content is appropriate. ive heard a lot of anecdotes about people who WERE contributing to these things but whom were still harassed or got threats from other users over it not being good enough, and that's just not conducive to creating the environment or diversity you want. nobody is going to want to be in a fandom space where they have to walk on eggshells all the time. and i bring this up because of how you were clearly harassed by randos. accusing you of misogyny or shaming other womens' bodies as being "unrealistic" is not the way to go

the only reasonable solution i can think of to this is, again, to just encourage more artists to start drawing in the first place, or even better start contributing yourself. individuals should have the freedom to draw what they like without getting flamed for it AND people should be able to see themselves represented in artwork. i would like to see some more fat characters too, this is definitely something ive thought about before myself

(personally all the fat people i draw are ocs or portraits of people i know that i dont want to post online but maybe if i get some inspiration i will draw the long-sought chubby mugi myself. i am not super interested in femstars though so whether or not itd actually be fem mugi is up in the air. but all the talking here about this topic has had me thinking about following my own advice and putting what i want to see into the world.)

OUGHH THESE ARE ALL GOOD POINTS!! and i agree! the main thing we should be doing is ENCOURAGING people to add more diversity, not harassing them into it! people who only draw for fun arent really obligated to draw anything outside of their comfort zone, which again is why i think its better to simply uplift the idea of trying out new things and new appearances that you dont often draw

theres also SO MUCH room for more femstars artists too! and like ive said before if you wanna see something done right you gotta do it yourself. and i kind of like that. i like that everyone gets to craft their own little femstars variant of the enstars cast, and you can make them look however you want! and honestly? you SHOULD! seeing personal touches to designs always brings me joy, so even if you dont feel very confident in your art, if you have a specific vision for a character that you want brought to life please go ahead and draw it!! (or if you really dont want to you can always commission someone)

i also wanna highlight one of ur last points too bc yea. its unfortunate but often times whenever i see someone try adding diversity to their art for the first time they end up getting flamed because its not an accurate depiction of what they were trying to represent. and that really sucks! obviously we should strive to have accurate representation, but if its an artist that hasnt tried their hand on it before, ESPECIALLY a beginner artist, we shouldnt flame them for it. rather we should educate them on what went wrong and how they can improve for the future. these are people who actually WANT and are TRYING to add diversity to their art, but because in animanga circles theres a lack of education on how to draw more diverse features of really any kind. which is why trying to educate is far better than shaming. because if you shame these artists theyre gonna be too scared to try again, giving us less diversity once more

so yes basically what im saying is i want us all to encourage diversity and to help each other out by sharing resources and tips when it comes to drawing it!! one person is Obviously not gonna be able to do every single thing, which is why i want more people to pick up the pen and bring life to their visions!! also i really want more femstars food pelase pick up the pen i am a starved orphan and only femstars yuri can satiate me!!!!!!!!!

[sillyrabbit81]

@sillyrabbit81 hi can you give me some tips on how to write a smutty Henry Cavill dare Mills and Boon type like story? Thankyou 🙂

I know I’ve answered something like this a few times before, but I can’t find the post! This time I swear I won’t lose it. I’ll probably add it to my masterlist somewhere. But anyway, here are some tips for you.

How to write a story with smut

(Things that I consider useful anyway)

Below the cut

Read smut. Reading is essential for any writer, it helps you to learn what works and what doesn’t. Read “good” and “bad” smut. Read both because you can try and get a better idea of why one works for you and one doesn’t. Use that as inspiration or a template for how to construct the scene. DO NOT JUST COPY A SCENE. But look at how the writer uses imagery, look at how often they talk about emotions and how much is spent discussing actions. Look at word choices, sentence length etc.

Ask yourself why you are writing smut. Not in the broad sense, but in the story you’re writing, ask yourself why they are getting it on. Is it just to get off? Are they exploring kinks? Are they falling in love and moving to the next stage? When you know the why, the how is a little easier.

Dig into the characters, make the sex match who they are and make it make sense. Eg, if your character is a virgin or someone with very little experience, chances are they will have some nerves about the experience. If they aren’t nervous maybe suggest why they aren’t, like are they really comfortable with their partner, or really excited so they don’t feel nervous. Little character details make the scene richer and more enjoyable to read.

Know what you’re writing about. I’m not saying you have to have had sex or engaged in the act you’re describing. I’m not going to lie, it helps, but it’s not essential because in the end, if you aren’t writing a self insert, it’s not about how you felt during the act, it’s about how the character feels. Research what you don’t know about, I sometimes research things I know about anyway to get a different perspective on what I’m writing about. Sometimes, I find things out I didn’t know.

Use a thesaurus with a warning… some words may technically be right to use, but just feel wrong. Like describing something wet as “moist” may technically be correct, but the word turns a lot of people off so may not be appropriate in all cases.

Same with metaphors or euphemisms, I know I’ve done this, most writers probably have, but a badly placed metaphor can make people laugh when you really don’t want them to. 

Write. Just write (I seriously need to work on this myself). Write it all down, use poor word choices, use whatever, just get it on the page. Then go back and edit it. Sharpen the sentences, change or remove jarring words, add more context.

Be realistic. A lot of times, sex isn’t perfect, people laugh, they miscommunicate, things fall out of where they should be, people say dumb things, sometimes it hurts, sometimes it’s over too quickly or takes too long, sometimes you had garlic last night. Smut writing is fantasy, so you don’t have to make things go wrong all the time, but sometimes adding a little bit of realism makes the scene so much better and it is often a chance to develop characters further too.

If it turns you on, it will probably turn someone else on too, but it won’t turn everyone on. Be aware of that, and that it's okay to write something that not everyone is into. Obviously some things are more niche than others, but if you like it, then the authenticity of your writing should help. Don’t just write something to be popular because most people can see through that. If you’re writing something that isn’t your usual kink, that’s okay, I’ve done that, but try to find something about it that you like and focus on that.

Don’t try to put everything into a scene. Sex isn’t always a million positions, doesn’t always hit every kink, and it's usually better if it doesn’t. A lot of my scenes are only one or two positions, they aren’t even that kinky a lot of times, but they can still be sexy because of the other things that are happening for the characters. Especially if you’re starting out, keep it simple, don’t add anything that isn’t necessary and you can write extremely hot vanilla, missionary position sex scenes, so you don’t have to go crazy. Hell, you don’t even need them to have sex to write a hot scene.

Discuss with friends. If you can find a Beta reader, that’s great! But if you can’t, you could just talk in general about a scene with a friend. Make friends with other writers if you can, and discuss these things with them, share ideas, problems you encounter etc. Learn together.

Know your audience. If you’re setting up a story for a romantic love making session and one of the characters suddenly brings out a whip, you’re going to lose some of your audience. If you want to write that, then go ahead, but don’t set your audience up for one thing and then switch it up on them, most of the time they don’t like it. What you can do is allow characters to explore some things like a couple that may be heavily into bondage, might over the course of a novel experiment with different sex, but you need to set it up so it makes sense to the audience and they are willing to come along for the ride.

Learn about storytelling techniques. For example, know what makes a Mills and Boon story a Mills and Boon story, learn the tropes, the beats to hit, learn the genre. This isn’t to say that you can’t play with the genre, but you have to know the rules before you can break them. Learn about 3 act, 5 act structure, the hero’s journey etc. Again, you don’t have to follow them, but you should know them.

That’s all I can think of right now. There’s always more to learn, sometimes when I write, I focus on improving one aspect of my writing. And not all of this is important all the time. If you’re writing a 500 word drabble, there isn’t space for novel like character development.

I hope this helps.

❤️ Rabbit

[sleepymccoy]

72 and 55 if you are still going!

I def am! Hi Ked 😊

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings ect?

I'm sure there's more than I notice, but I definitely repeat the tropes! I go in for miscommunication and pining basically every time. Even if I'm writing established relationship I manage to make them pine.

Regarding expressions, I do try not to Americanise myself unless the character is particularly American. Cos, like, McCoy is southern. So he gets Southern phrases from me. But Kirk and Spock are also American really but not in a particular way, it's more that universal type of American where it's treated as default. When I write those kinds of default American characters I let myself be Australian about it because that's my default and I don't want to lose that for fanfiction.

That has led to some amusing miscommunications with American readers who are (appropriately!) reading with an American sort of voice but I'm not writing with that. My fave was when I used yonks which means a lot (in a measurement type of way) and got tonnes of confused comments 😂 I hadnt even clocked it as slang, it's just a word for me.

I think the sentence was something like "but that was yonks ago" and people were DMing me to say "hey, funny typo on that page, I think you meant years?" But I didn't! Yonks can be used for distance too, something can be fucking yonks away. I never bothered to change it, it's okay for my voice to be Aussie

But yeah, I'm sure there are many expression particular to me that I don't notice cos it's just cultural

72. What's your favourite writing compliment that you've gotten?

I don't know! I can give you two very impactful ones tho.

Someone left a comment once that discussed how natural my dialogue is, and that's really stayed with me. It caused me to reflect on my process (which starts with dialogue only) and I realised I agree with them! I have quite a strong capacity to make the beats of time in a conversation be reflected in punctuation and description. I'm glad someone pointed it out cos I feel quite a bit of pride over that now, but I hadn't noticed on my own!

The other is all the comments my first ever fic got. I reread it not long ago (maybe a year) and it's appropriately amateur in vice. If I had less find memories of it I'd be embarrassed by it. But the comments are all just so fucking kind. It's unbelievable and it made me commit to being a writer. Everyone pointed out some strength they saw and I can see a direct line from those comments to my style now in what I doubled down on being good at. Someone complimented the humour, and I now do not shy from putting jokes in my stories. Someone talking about it being in character (by my standards now it so isn't, but it was such a shaping comment for me anyway) and I take care to go proof scenes constantly to make sure it's still true to character rather than just being useful to the plot.

It as such a wonderful early experience to have and I cannot express my gratitude enough to those few people who read my weak-ass first post! I love them and I love that fic because of them, no matter how far below my standards it now is. What a marvellous way to interact with new writers

[cee-grice]

Heyyy it's Storyteller Saturday!! What's the most difficult thing about writing for you and have there been ways you tried to make it easier? 👀

hii!! thanks for the ask <3

hmm that's a good question.... it can be interpreted in many different ways haha. and there sure are many difficult things when it comes to writing. for example, I find writing descriptions very challenging so I try to make them more interesting by trying to imagine how the character who's POV I'm writing for would see, what they would pay attention to, and give those descriptions some more oomf like that. I also struggle with writing more uhmm intimate scenes, and for that I just. put on an appropriate playlist and vibe for, like, an hour until I'm in the mood and don't feel too awkward about it LOL

but if talking about the process itself, the most difficult thing, I think, is not falling in love with your writing but not falling out of love. If it's a novel, I'm gonna be staying with it for months on end—and if it's the first draft, how the hell do I not get bored of it all and how do I not start to resent it because I can't seem to get anything right? I think a lot of writers struggle with perfectionism and always finding faults within your work, which can very easily lead to falling out of love with their work

on the character front, how I don't get bored of them, is that I, funnily enough, constantly imagine them in AUs lol. cute ones, fucked up ones, really fucked up ones, just really anything under the sun that would keep their characters in my mind fresh. I don't get bored of them because I don't spend all my time with them; I also spend time with them but they're vampires, or high schoolers, or royals and peasants, and so on. So it's almost as if I'm giving myself time to take a break from them whenever I'm not writing about them while still thinking about them x))

and on the story as a whole front, I have a notes section where I write down every single detail I want to be better or changed on the next rewrite. I don't fix anything now, I write it down for later. That way, it almost sort of tricks my brain into thinking that I already have those details in, that those issues are nothing to worry about it. I know my current draft is very flawed—but I also have SO MANY NOTES on how it will be better when I rewrite it, and it really helps my brain to not get caught up on all of it :'))

oof that got long, but yeah, hope that answers your question haha

[general--winter]

Would you do the same prompt with different characters? Can we request for male reader, female reader, gender neutral reader, etc? Are there any characters you won't do in each fandom? For Pokemon, are there characters from any specific games you won't do? Are there any topics you won't do like rape, suicide, etc? Do you do poly ships x reader? Thank you in advance!

TW: Rape, suicide

Disclaimer: Any serious topics requested WILL be treated with the proper amount of gravity and respect. I will try not spit in the face of the people who have experienced these things. If I make any sort of assumptions that are harmful or incorrect while writing for a serious topic, then please please please educate me or at least just let me know in a proper manner so I can educate myself. I already do a baseline of research when it comes to stuff I don't have experience with. I just want to make sure I'm treating everyone's feelings and experiences with as much respect as they deserve. Thank you, and onto the actual post!

Thank you so much for asking for clarification! I'll answer this in a list style. I think I'll be making an FAQ when I have some free time as well, so I'll definitely refer to this ask. Thank you so much for giving me more to consider regarding my rules.

Yes, I'll do the same prompt for different characters in one post. I'll keep the limit to "a reasonable amount" unless someone gives me a reason to change that, lol.

You can request for any gender of reader! If it's not specified or if it is vague I'll default to gender neutral.

I don't have a list of characters I won't do yet, but I will put that in a post if someone does so. For a soft rule, just avoid characters who are, like, objectively shitty people (my examples are Hisoka from HxH and Danzo from Naruto). If there needs to be clarification on this, which I kinda anticipate, I'll go through all of the fandoms I write for and create a list that I will not accept.

Specifically for Pokemon, I think the only "major" game that I could imagine someone requesting something from is Conquest. I have played. Everything. And if I haven't I have a good handle on their character from fandom interaction.

As for topics I won't cover, like I said in my rules, anything NSFW is off the table. (So, I won't be writing sex scenes in my work or anything anytime soon.) I don't actually think I would include writing about the ramifications, emotional impact, and feelings associated with stuff like suicide in that, though. My work can take darker tones sometimes, and as someone with mental illness themselves, you'll probably see vent fics about my struggles at some point. Works that contain such content will contain warnings and be rated appropriately. Rape/sexual assault specifically, though, I won't write about the vast majority of the time. I do not think I could write about it in a way that is respectful to victims. If I'm channeling a specific experience I have had, then you may find these themes in my personal work. In any case, I will not take requests regarding them.

On poly ships: I do not have any experience writing for them, but I think I could do it with the proper writing resources! So if you would like to request this then feel free, I'll figure it out.

[fandomcrysis]

All the hours I lost // 02

Part two: We're on earth to break each other's hearts

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x gn! reader

Genre: Itty bitty fluff and pure unfiltered angst

Warnings: Cursing (I have a really really dirty mouth :/), kinda delusional reader , fighting, alcohol, manga spoilers? well more like you'll need the manga to get more context to the story (Shibuya Incident arc)

Summary: When the initial magic of novelty wears off, when the honeymoon phase ends. Slowly the bittersweet moments just turn bitter and everything you so carefully tried to take care of withers. Yet you refuse to believe fate made a mistake connecting you. (Soulmates au)

Word count: 4.7k

A/n: Part two of my fic to @yuujispinkhair ’s Enchanted to meet you collab. Again I can't stress enough how amazing she is. 💕💖💘

This is a song fic, to get the full context please check out All too well by Taylor Swift! (You don’t have to it, makes sense without it but it makes more sense with it)

Well, another big boy fic, it's funny because I cut a whole ass scene from this one (it will go into part 3 instead) and it's still almost 5k words. I'm a huge fan of angst as is, but now I'm actually not doing too well so I feel like I'm in my joker phase xdddd. My villainry is just writing really hurtful angst, or at least I hope it is. (I will cry if it's bad angst instead hdhjfbsdjb) but I promise the next part won’t be this bad. Please enjoy~ 💕

This isn't beta read and I'm painfully dyslexic. So if you find something please let me know so I can correct myself.

Lovely people on the taglist💕: @cerealfrdinner797 , @brumous11 , @nappingwithyuuji

Part one

1 year 2 months 1 week 6 days 10 hours 3 minutes 1 second

“How about this one? Do you think he’ll like it?” Gojo shoves a blue plush lion in your face, to show it off.

“‘Toru, he’s one, you can buy him anything big and colorful and he’s gonna love it,” you state calmly while taking the winking lion from him. It fits all the criteria so it might as well be the one.

“So, can we get it? And this too then? They are both really cute, I can’t decide.” The tall man gives you a purple bear this time with a suspicious look on its face. Both the lion and the bear come from the same line of brightly colored wild animals, and you are sure Satoru will try to buy each one of them, one by one, if you don’t step in. It’s your friend’s son’s first birthday party and you don’t want to outdo his parents so you need to limit your partner.

“Baby, choose one and we’ll get him some kind of block puzzle with it. It wouldn't be appropriate to steal the spotlight with a huge gift,” you reason with the big kid that is your boyfriend. He takes one sad look at the lion plushie and he puts it back, from the looks of it the decision was a sad one but not a hard one.

“That was quick, I expected a whole scene. What made you choose the bear?” you question him in a cheery voice when you get to the puzzle section in the next aisle. He has the bear in his right arm hugging it to his torso. Satoru looks up from the 'find the pair’ game he picked up and looks at the bear with a little smile.

“It reminds me of my best friend,” his grin is wide, as he goes back to the puzzle in his hand. You look at the bear, curious what kind of person Gojo Satoru’s best friend would be. The bear is an eggplant purple, its thinner, tilted eyes make it look foxy and the mischievous smirk on its face gives the impression that he’s up to no good. Looking at the bear you can clearly see how a person like that would be friends with your boyfriend, they both look way too happy to wreak havoc.

“Do they look this shady?” you inquire further, while you look at another set of blocks.

“Yes, he does.” He sounds distant like he’s lost in the past.

“And is he? I mean as shady as he looks.” You latch onto this opportunity to know more about his life, although you have a feeling that you won’t get a lot out of him.

“He’s even worse than he looks,” he muses, now looking at the bear. The fondness in his eyes is clear, it makes you wonder if he would ever talk about you this way.

“Then I get why you are such close friends,” you say with a little smirk on your face, waiting for him to catch on. When he does he rolls his eyes at you with an amused smile.

“Do you really think I’m shady?” he pouts hoping that you would say no, maybe even give him a kiss.

“Of course, I do. I can’t name one person shadier than you. I literally met you while you were breaking into an abandoned church.” You hand him a puzzle to see what he thinks.

“You’re mean,” he replies with a sour look on his face which makes you giggle. How are you supposed to take him seriously when he has his hands full with children’s toys and he pouts just like a kid?

“Am I now?” You put your hands on your hips, waiting for him to approve of the gift. While he is busy with that, your eyes wander on the plushie again. He looks like he misses his friend. People don’t seem that lost in the past when they’ve met their best friend just the day before.

“Would you like the bear?” you offer him suddenly. As much as you want to know more you don’t want to get shut down again. Today is a good day and you don’t want to turn it bittersweet. That’s exactly why you force yourself to stop thinking about how you accepted that he will never let you in.

“What?” He furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

“You look like you miss him. If you want we can get Kei the lion and you can get the bear. It would fit right in with your house if you ask me,” you explain, although you can’t help but point out how out of place it would be in his mancave. But maybe seeing that large bear in his house from time to time would make him feel better. He peaks at the toy, then back at you and pulls you in a half hug, as his other arm was full with the plushie. He presses a long kiss on top of your head, you reciprocate the hug by wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning into him.

“You really are the best, Love.” He murmurs when he leans back, as a response you press a quick peck on his lips. You marvel at the fact that you made him happy while watching him go back for the lion with the biggest grin on his face. After you gathered everything you wanted to buy, Gojo ventured off again to look at something while you were paying for the toys.

“You two are really adorable together, it’s rare to see people this in love,” the cashier smiles at you while he scans your items. You smile back at him and look back over your shoulder to your boyfriend before thanking him.

“And how old is the kid?” he inquires further as he puts the bear in a big bag.

“He’s one. I hope we got the presents right for his age.” You converse with the cashier hoping that you didn’t get anything he can’t use. Now, you kind of regret not asking your friend what to get.

“Oh no, these are perfect. I was just curious. Let’s hope the young man grows up to be like his dad.” You don’t want to correct him on the fact that you aren’t shopping for your child, it’s not like you’ll see the cashier again, there’s no reason to. As for the comment, you know he means well, and he probably refers to being tall or handsome or strong or just generally any of Gojo’s traditionally attractive traits. You know that, but honestly, you can’t stop your gut reaction.

“Oh god no, I would probably go insane if I had another Satoru running around.”

1 year 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 12 hours 22 minutes 50 seconds

“I can’t keep doing this, Satoru. And you can’t either. We’re supposed to be soulmates damn it. You can’t introduce me to even one of your friends! Hell, do they even know about me?” You are at your limit again. You were patient, you did your best to trust him, but you’ve known each other for a whole year and a half. And it’s been more than 6 months since the night at the park. Since his empty promise to try harder for you.

Nothing happened since, at least not on his end. You don’t know his parents' name, let alone met them. You on the other hand introduced him to your family because your parents were talking your ear off about finally meeting your soulmate. So, you took him home for dinner with your family. As expected he charmed your parents like it was his job, he actually made an effort to not come off as the jerk he usually is. You remember staring at him starry-eyed trying to digest the reality that you might marry this man one day.

“Calm down, please. It’s not a big deal, I just never got around to it,” he tried his best to diffuse the situation but it was just fuel to the fire. How can he say this? How can you trust him when he disregards your feelings like this? Again and again, he proves to you that he doesn’t care.

“How fucking dare you? How dare you tell me it’s not a big deal when you see how upset I am? Do you care this little about me? After everything? Is this just a game to you? To see how far you can push me? To see how much you can get away with? Do you find seeing me like this amusing?” It all just pours out of you. After months of hopeless pining for a functional relationship, you just can’t hold back anymore.

“What? Why would I enjoy this? You keep painting me as a fucking villain and you as the innocent victim.” He starts to lose his calm a little, which just escalates your feelings as well. He has no right to feel justified when he is clearly in the wrong.

“When you do this day in and day out I can’t do anything else just assume that you like making me suffer. And what the fuck do you mean that I’m painting myself as the victim. You hurt me a lot, a lot of times, you can’t sugarcoat this, Satoru!” You want to solve this in a more civilised way, but you can’t get a hold of your emotions. One cat got out of the bag and now every single one is jumping out.

“How about you don’t push me to do things I’m not ready for? You ask for too much! I open up a little and you try to rip me open to learn every one of my secrets. You have no business snooping in my life!” You should just leave before things get more ugly, but every single thing he says is so infuriating that you can’t just leave it like this.

“What? I asked too much? I asked you to do the bare minimum. To not treat me like you are ashamed of being with me! Do you have any idea what too much is? How about we talk about moving in? Or getting married? And what do you think of kids? I think two of them running around would be amazing right about now.” You can’t help the poison dripping from your voice. This all painfully reminds you of the nights you spent listening to your own parents scream at each other. Reminds you of how you swore you’d never be like them. Despite that, here you are. You’re just glad there’s no one around to witness it. Regardless, you continue.

“But it’s not like I could even think of bringing any of these up! Your side of the venue would probably be completely empty at the wedding!” You are screaming at this point but you couldn’t care less. In Gojo’s penthouse, there are no neighbours anywhere near so it’s not like they would call the cops on you.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about! Why would you even bring this up?” He isn’t screaming thankfully, but he is getting louder as well.

“Are you fucking delusional? Why do you think I bring it up? Everyone has kids and weddings or a ring on their finger at the very least! We are not getting younger Gojo and I don’t want to go to parent-teacher conferences and playgrounds in my fifties just because you couldn’t get your life in order in time. If you even want kids that is. I have no idea about that either because I can’t talk to you about anything related to our future.” You are an emotional mess as you collapse on his couch, defeated. You feel lightheaded as the situation hits you. You don’t know how this argument will end but you are sure of one thing: this will leave a scar.

“Talking? Is this what you call talking? You are screaming and breaking down again.” He doesn’t address anything about the actual problem, he can’t say anything to that. Somewhere in the rational part of his brain, a small voice tells him that you are right. A bigger part, however, refuses to admit blame.

“Do you think I’m enjoying this? Do you think I like that I have to have a complete breakdown for you to acknowledge me? I don’t trust you enough to bring any of my concerns up anymore. At this point, I don’t know which is worse, the fact that I’m afraid to bring anything up to you or that you are a fucking stranger in my bed.” You curl up on his couch as he starts to pace. Your words cut deep, but he can’t face that he is hurting you this bad.

“Why can’t you just trust me? Talk to me? I’m your soulmate.” He doesn’t stop for a second, he goes round and round, which doesn’t help you calm down. His restlessness is just unnerving you even more.

“Just because we are soulmates, it doesn’t mean everything will magically work out. This relationship is just like any other. And even if it wasn’t, we aren’t the only soulmates, somehow everyone else can work it out!” You stand up because you can’t just sit around. You go to his kitchen, which is only separated from the living room by a counter, to get a glass of water. You try to make an effort to calm down.

“There it is again! Why are you so fucking obsessed with other people? Why can’t we just do what’s good for us?” He goes to lean on the counter in front of you as you take out a glass from the cabinet. It would be nice knowing that you are this at home in his house but right now you could barely see from the anger.

“What’s good for us? Relationships work because of compromises. There are no compromises here, I’m doing everything I possibly can to make this work and you are acting like a butthurt kid just because I asked you to treat me like your lover not like a secret. In all reality, this isn’t a relationship. This is an affair, a distraction. You aren’t committed to me at all.” This hurts to say. It hurts so much because it’s true. You wouldn’t be at all surprised if it turned out that he is actually married already.

“What do you mean I’m not committed? I haven’t even looked at anyone else since I met you.” Satoru sounds a 100% convinced that he is right with this point. You can barely fathom how he thinks this makes him looks committed.

“That just mean that we are exclusive, not that you are committed. You just show up whenever you want to have some fun and leave. This is all we are.” You take a deep breath, yet your fury doesn’t subside so you continue even though you won’t be able to take these words back. “But prove me wrong. Look into my eyes and tell me that you would be here if I wasn’t your soulmate. I know I wouldn’t.”

Gojo Satoru is speechless for maybe the first time in his life. He silently watches you, dumbfounded, as you take a sip of your water, tears running down your face. You consciously make an effort to calm down, which is not easy with the heavy silence looming over you. But after a while you feel strong enough to go through with this.

“Satoru, we are clearly dysfunctional. We tried it, it didn’t work out. We can’t do the same thing over and over again and expect things to change. You made a point to show, time and time again, that you don’t want to step out of your comfort zone to meet me halfway. You don’t have to, it’s not an obligation, you are right about that.” ‘Deep breaths, Y/n, you can do this. Breathe in, breathe out, baby.’

“I… just can’t work with the little to nothing you are giving me now. Let’s just split while we can do it in peace. Neither of us is happy right now, so we’ll just keep jumping at each other’s throats.” You somehow manage to power through the break-up, you finish your water while trying to stop your silent sobs. Gojo is sitting on a bar stool, he holds his head up with one hand while he just stares at the counter before him.

Once you place your glass in the sink you go to change back to your normal clothes and gather everything you need. The whole house is eerily quiet, and the glass, metal, and marble interior just seems so much colder than it was a few hours ago. When you get back down Satoru is still where you left him, he doesn’t say anything, not even when you bid goodbye. You can’t even guess what it is that made him speechless.

Satoru is stuck. He can’t do anything but repeat your words in his head. He relived your breakup dozens of times in his head trying to make sense of it. It’s like he’s twisting the knife again and again. He can feel the pain but he still can’t rationalize you leaving. You are just… gone? He can feel everything he usually keeps under control overwhelm him. It’s paralysing. He feels like he’s drowning.

1 year 7 months 0 weeks 4 days 16 hours 17 minutes 56 seconds

You are in complete darkness. You can’t see anything. You can’t hear anything. When you start to panic due to the lack of information you finally hear a familiar sound; Satoru’s voice. You spin around so fast you almost feel light-headed, but when you see Satoru you actually feel like fainting. He is locked in a box, and no matter what you do you can’t get him to notice you or get him out of the box. You scream at the top of your lungs, you bang on the box until you can’t lift your arm anymore, it’s no use. You feel so helpless, it breaks your heart…

You miss him a lot. Well, that’s an understatement. You miss him every minute of every day, he just won’t leave your mind, not awake, not asleep. Your heart aches and that doesn't stop. It probably never will as long as you are away from Satoru. These past two weeks you can barely do anything, worst of all; you can barely sleep. Sometimes you even refuse to. You don’t care how bad it gets, you’ll do anything to stop the nightmares. Especially this recurring one about Gojo being locked away. It feels so chilling despite it being the least hurtful in theory.

You don’t have to think a lot about what the dream could mean. You shut out Gojo and it feels like your heart is trying to get revenge on you for the hurt you’re causing it. You know you love Satoru, and you are so afraid that there’s nothing in this world that could change that. Not time, not space, not his behaviour. Even now, you lie awake after waking up from that damned nightmare again. You barely got an hour of sleep and you aren’t sure if you can go back to sleep again.

You try so hard to remember all shit he did, all the times he brushed you off, all the times you cried alone in your apartment because he couldn’t make it when you needed him the most. Your heart and mind is trying its hardest to bury every one of Satoru’s wrongdoings under the happy memories, but you don’t want to forget. You can’t just erase everything, your love for him isn’t supposed to be unconditional. He needs to do better so you can forgive him.

Probably this is why you could go through with leaving because you think that he will come back to you. You think that whatever you have is strong enough to pull him right back to you, it has to be. You are soulmates for a reason, you have to be. Saying that you met at the wrong time is a lot easier than trying to come to terms with Satoru being the wrong person for you. Whatever this whole soulmate thing is, it can't make a mistake that big, can it?

There has to be something else, you just can’t accept that. It already is hard enough to do something else other than drowning in your self-pity you don’t need to open that can of worms. During the daytime you have to suck it up and work, you are an adult and nobody will else take care of you. But at night you can give in just a little, just let the emotions take over...

Why can’t you be like every other soulmate, why can’t you just work? Why can’t Satoru just trust you? You were going on and on about you trusting him, but wasn’t he the one who didn’t trust you? He couldn’t share absolutely anything important about himself. He didn’t feel the need to let you in his life, so how could you let him into yours?

1 year 8 months 1 week 5 days 14 hours 35 minutes 16 seconds

Work parties suck, you can’t let loose because you are working with these people and if you do, you are the topic of the office gossip for a while. That being said, everyone has those days, and sometimes you severely overestimate how much alcohol you can handle. Only this time it isn’t the case; you are just fine. Well, you aren’t fine but you aren’t drunk. Just heartbroken. Having to deal with everyone bringing up Gojo during the small talk was draining you.

You know they don’t mean to hurt you but lying that you and he are doing well over and over again broke you little by little. You couldn’t admit it, you are still very much in denial and want to avoid this whole thing. Unfortunately, you can’t, so you just say what ends that conversation the fastest, this way you don’t have to deal with the pity either. So yes, the few drinks you’ve had might have something to do with you weeping in the bathroom of the party venue, but they aren’t the sole cause.

You haven’t looked at pictures of you together in weeks. It was painful, but of course today everyone and their mother asked to see your boyfriend. In any other situation, you would bless the skies for giving you a man that knows how to take a picture of himself. Not today though. Seeing how his eyes sparkle while he’s looking down at you sleeping on his chest or how he playfully pouts as you take a photo of him while waiting for your food. They brought back so many memories. It’s hard knowing he’s not with you.

The one photo you keep showing everyone, it was your background too before it got too painful to look at. Gojo took the picture in an elevator mirror, his arms are around you and he tilts his head so his temple rests on the top of your head. You on the other hand barely peek out from his bear hug. The sheer happiness is evident though. Your eyes are a thin line, and even with lower half of your face buried in your red scarf, it’s clear that it’s from the wide smile on your face.

You miss these days. The good days, the days full of laughter. Right now you don’t even care why you broke up in the first place, you just want him back. You try to suppress your sobs, because in this state you can’t even talk. You hardly make out anything through the glossy wall of tears, but you somehow make it to his contact or at least you think you do. Your thumb is hovering over the call button. The only thing in your mind is missing him. You miss him so much, your chest never stops aching no matter what you do. You’re psyching yourself up to press the button when a familiar voice calls out.

“Y/n, is everything alright?” When the sound of your name registers you look up. It’s one of your colleagues, they stand across the room from you, looking concerned and confused. The adrenaline rush is instant from feeling like you just got caught committing some kind of crime.

“S-sure,” you try to answer confidently, but your sobs don’t let you say anything without stuttering. “Just, you know, lovers quarrel.” You quickly add because you realise you need to explain it somehow. People don’t just randomly break down. You know they wouldn’t tell people about you breaking down even if you were visibly intoxicated. You, however, aren’t the type of person to rely on chance, not when you can do something about it. This is why you purposefully give them a personal answer that they would feel bad about spreading.

“Do you want to talk about it?” they ask carefully, even though you two aren’t close you know they want to help you. As much as you appreciate it, you really don’t. You just want to go home and find something Gojo left in your house so you can cuddle it to sleep. This way you can pretend he is just away on a business trip. You take a deep breath and go to the sink and you lean on it.

“Well, not everything is sunshine and rainbows, but we’ll get through it,” you reassure them as you gather yourself enough to start covering up the fact that you cried. You need to leave this damn toilet sooner or later.

1 year 8 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours 03 minutes 39 seconds

You’ve just got out of the taxi and finished paying the driver when you feel the buzz in your pocket. At first, you think that it’s probably one of your colleagues sending you way too many messages at once. There were quite a few who got carried away with the drinks, giving you big hugs and promising to check on you when they got home. As if you were the one who needed to be checked up on.

After a second or two it was obvious that your phone won’t stop vibrating, instead insisting on getting your attention. You sigh, getting it out of your pocket. You don’t want to deal with anyone at this time of the day - night? - it’s late and you just want to get to bed. Alas, you gather your remaining energy for one more social interaction. With another deep breath, you glance at the caller ID.

���Gojo Satoru’

You do a double-take. Your chest suddenly feels tight, the all familiar feeling of anxiety taking over you. Your hands start to shake as you rush to take the call. You are so afraid he will hang up before you get the chance to talk to him.

“Hello…?” you trail off, unsure what to say when you pick up. You daydreamed of this for weeks, but you didn’t think it would be in these circumstances. You imagined that he would show up at your house unannounced with a bouquet of beautiful flowers; asking for forgiveness. Or maybe he would keep ringing your doorbell at 3 am, too drunk to stay away from you. You didn’t expect a call. At night. Especially not from a sober Satoru.

“Oh, hey. I… I didn’t think you would pick up. I should’ve thought of something to say before calling you, haven’t I?” He sounds tired. During all these weeks you never thought about Gojo doing as badly as you do. It never crossed your mind that he might be tossing and turning all night as well. That he might have the same nightmares as you do. You assumed it’s hard on him too, but he was always fine. Seemingly sailing through life without a care in the world. He never sought you out for comfort, or at least he didn’t show it if he did.

“Satoru… Is everything alright?” Your voice is as shaky as your hands are while you try to slip your key into the lock of the gate.

“Yes. No… Shit… I guess I just wanted to hear your voice… God, I miss you so much. It’s unbearable.” he mutters, the pain clear in his voice. You feel your eyes already tearing up. You miss him too, more than you could express.

“Toru-” you start, you aren’t sure how you want to finish the sentence. But you don’t need to as he cuts you off before you could get out anything else.

“No, this was a terrible idea. I shouldn’t have called you, especially this late. Just forget about this. Okay? It’s not right… I’m sorry. I love you.” He doesn’t even wait for you to react. He hangs up.

As you get into your apartment, completely on autopilot at this point, you don’t even bother to wipe away the tears. Looks like he wasn’t happy with only breaking his promises, he needed to break you too. All over again; trampling on the pieces crushing them to even smaller shards.

Masterlist

[electrasev5nwrites]

can you describe your creative writing process as someone with aphantasia? I'm interested in writing and lack art skills to visually flesh out characters (thus I rely on words)

the greatest challenges I possess that I ask how you get over:

Appropriate levels of description? Ie: what would someone who could probably use this info want.

How do I figure out these appearances? Personalities arnt hard to do but finding out appearance is hard..

Writing has became a much more difficult thing to do after learning I have aphantasia (or see the world differently) honestly my life isn't harder because of aphantasia its just different. It's like in more sad on things I may be missing out (even though most may not have crazy levels of visualization, it varies right?). It's very late for me and I may be delerious so if I'm a bit confusing or you want to add on whatever go ahead, even if I didn't ask it. Share your hearts desire.

I'd love to share.

I don't actually think that much about what a reader wants in terms of description. Appropriate levels of description, to me, is what you need to immerse into the scene. I tend to put myself into the character's place and think of what I would notice- the color of my sleeve when I pour a cup of coffee, the way that my fingertips flatten on the edge of the porcelain when I'm staring at it to avoid eye contact, using the steam to obscure the impatient face of whoever is waiting for my answer, my own reflection in the liquid, etc. I think that writing details as the character would notice them works well to blend them in organically without dumping description and also works well as a way to do some characterization! (what does this person notice? Are they pretty oblivious? Do they notice a lot of details? Do they get distracted when they do that and miss what someone says? Do they know the color of every car but the make of none? Are they unobservant because they're tired? Does someone else's body language or words hint that the POV character has missed something?) One of the main things I make sure to write in is body language and a little bit of action. Especially if a scene is dialogue-heavy, I make sure to give people something to do physically.

I think that most of the body language I write also comes from putting myself into a character's headspace. After I write their dialogue, I tend to find myself physically moving through the body language I'd use, and I do this deliberately as well if I look back and realize I need more detail. If someone is feeling defensive, I might find myself crossing my arms, leaning one way or another, fidgeting, or putting my chin up and smiling, if they're hiding that defensive feeling. This is also great for laying out characterization. Are they aware of how much they're telegraphing? Are they deliberately hiding their discomfort or whatever by using different body language? And how do they interact with the objects around them? Things like that.

I tend to be very sparse with character details, just because I'm not interested in it and can hardly remember what I picked. I dole them out nearly randomly and then just try to make sure I'm referencing the right set of adjectives when I bring that character back (who had the pointy face? Who had big eyes? Which was the guy with really long eyelashes?) I'd recommend keeping a cheatsheet like that whenever you introduce a character to refer back to later. Readers are going to wind up with different interpretations of those descriptions, but I think that's fine. The only thing that sucks if if I mix them up and that leaves the readers confused. I hope some of this is interesting and useful to you!