#the whole story is such a (fantastically entertaining) mess

[littleragondin]

Ooookay so I need to know if there is a Tian Song protection squad, and if so how can I join and do we get a cool badge. He's such a sweetheart?? No one should be allowed to make him cry????

[rappaccini]

okay. i've already autopsied tua but a final overview may be in order. i'll do it one more time.

season one was the only good season of umbrella academy. it had issues, but those issues didn't yet compromise the story or the themes. season one had a stylized production, great cast who at that point were still playing their characters instead of themselves, strong story that mostly carried (though there was some filler), and fantastically coherent themes. the cracks in the foundation were always there. but they could have been fixed.

season two was bad, but entertaining enough to hide its flaws. it had a bigger budget, glossier production value, more action, a cool new setting, more Fun Moments, enough momentum from the source material to mostly fill up the season, and the character assassination didn't have time to reach its consequences yet so everyone acting like the fandomified version of themselves worked for the people who were just here for the fun. it also dropped in the summer of 2020, when people were desperate for escapist entertainment, and there was little superhero fare to compete with (and when the protests happening that summer had people wanting to Say Something about civil rights without actually wanting to change anything). the bar was lower, and season 2 cleared it. but season 2's story broke. look back at the actual story, and you'll see it.

season three was bad, and not entertaining enough to hide its flaws. it had some interesting ideas and good moments, but the whole thing was a slog. the pacing was terrible, the character assassination couldn't be denied anymore, and the momentum from the comics ran out and left the writers to their own devices, which revealed they had no plan, no substantive creative backbone, and no understanding of what they were making. season three could have saved the show with a hail mary of tight writing to pick up the slack, but quadrupled down on the problems and guaranteed it was past the point of no return.

season four was terrible. somehow with a reduced episode count it still dragged, every single character has no growth, the basic logic of the story is missing and the continuity is a mess. and ending the story about abuse victims trying to heal on them concluding that they should all just kill themselves makes the story both pointless and rotten. at this point it was a given. you can't recover from two bad seasons back to back. season two shot the show in the gut, season three let it bleed out instead of healing it, and season four kicked its corpse a few times for a couple klaus jokes, then confirmed that its very existence was a mistake. very meta.

so. what were the cracks in the foundation.

the lack of respect for the source material. as soon as they tried a plot that had no connection to the original comics, they were fucked. but even before season four, they were all over the place. in fact they still haven't adapted most of the comics. john perseus, calhoun, deever, dr terminal, the academy at war with each other in the 1960s, the actual purpose of hotel oblivion, the chimpanzees everywhere, the 1980s period setting, clarissa and oscar, the coming of the squid monster, carla the sparrow, grace having her own secret agenda, the actual character of jennifer? just not here. even the raygun gothic aesthetic is watered down and eventually barely even present.

the spinelessness of the creative team. as early as season 2, they were throwing character arcs and themes in the trash to beg the fans to love them. they had no plan and just wanted cheap thrills.

the lack of internal rules. the time travel mechanics don't make sense. viktor's powers just do whatever. lila's powers eventually just do whatever. the central reveal that vanya's medication had been repressing her powers, set up by klaus using drugs to do the same, is undone by season 2's climax revolving around vanya somehow using her powers despite being drugged. the 'marigold' reveal about their powers makes no sense (why does luther get his body back? we don't know.). there are no stakes with no clear world limitations.

the good victim bad victiming. as early as season 1, the show was arguing that harold jenkins is irredeemable for killing his abusive dad. that should've been your first warning that they were going to try to redeem reginald and have the academy basically kill themselves in the end.

the lack of continuity. as early as season 1, the writers forgot number five had a time travel briefcase sitting in the library, or that helen cho's body was in harold's house when he, allison and diego search it. then they forget when luther got disfigured in season 2. then they forgot how the powers work. then they forget literally everything about the story.

the racism. all the characters of color get the worst plotlines in season 1. allison loses her narrative in season 2 and gets it replaced with a civil rights plotline that concludes that 'hey, there's a black president someday!' diego and lila prance through the jim crow south without dealing with segregation as allison is hatecrimed every episode.

the sexism. look back at how all the female characters are treated. look back at how allison's mistreatment of patrick and claire is glossed over, and lila fully gets away with manipulating diego. look at how vanya's 'redemption' is all about finding maternal instincts she never had until season 2. look at how allison's assault of luther is dismissed the way it never would have been if the genders were swapped. look at how sloane is juxtaposed against allison.

the homophobia. the queer characters were either stereotyped or used as glaad award bait. the queerbait of ben and klaus's entire dynamic.

the ableism. in the comics, luther has mobility aids and his disfigurement is treated like a debilitating condition, not a punchline. his eating disorder isn't mocked. vanya's in a wheelchair after she's shot and goes through months of physical therapy and is still never the same. allison is an amputee. diego has one eye and severe ptsd. everyone's mental illness is taken seriously, including and especially klaus's addiction. in the show these elements are downplayed, absent or fuel for quirky moments.

the show is full of filler. the murder mystery plot, the meritech plot, allison following leonard around, the day that was/wasn’t…. even in season 1, there wasn't enough material to make ten episodes. there was never enough for a ten episode run for any season. and yet somehow the one season with the right runtime still drags.

the spectacle. in season 2 they fully lean into it over substance. case in point: the dance sequence.

actually i'll go into that in detail because the dance sequence sums up the whole show and its downfall.

in season one, the pilot's iconic i-think-we're-alone-now dance sequence was an emotional moment that symbolized how all the characters feel isolated and disconnected from each other, but are secretly interconnected and far more in sync than they realize. the song was catchy, but "i think we're alone now" is literally a commentary on the story it's playing over: now that the academy's abuser is dead, they can finally unwind and love each other, and they can fix their problems by literally "running as fast as they can, holding onto one another's hands." -- and how does the season end? by them doing just that.

in season two, allison, klaus and vanya's salon dance is meaningless because vanya has no clue who these people are, klaus has never given a shit about vanya before (watch season one. he doesn't care.), and allison should hate her at this point in the story. it's just there for fun... but if you swapped vanya with ben it would work as a joyful reunion between these three people. the concept of the dance is fine, but the decision to make it a fanservice moment throws it off.

in season three, the dance sequence comes out of nowhere as a ~wacky random fun moment~ to call back to the first season. the footloose song has nothing to do with the story, it's just fun and catchy. there is no substance to the spectacle anymore. it's just dumb fun.

and season four ends in 'i think we're alone now' for no reason other than to ask the viewer to remember when the show was good. no fun, just dumb.

... let's look back at the themes season one sets up.

the road to recovery takes a very long time, and you will fall off it and have to climb back on.

corporations don’t have your back. they’re soulless and they want to suck the life out of you.

abuse does not make nice people. abuse does not make happy people. there are no good victims or bad victims. (except leonard, i guess.)

it’s difficult to tell where programming stops and free will starts; toxic behavior begets toxic behavior, and we have to own up to it, stop it, and resolve to be better.

redemption is possible. the bad things you did in the past don’t define your future.

you're better together than apart. 

time. changes. everything. it isn’t too late to have the life and the love you wanted. it isn’t too late to realize your talents, or become a better person, or free yourself from a bad situation. it isn’t too late to get together, or to make up or to change your mind. there are no lost causes. the world is worth saving. your enemies are worth showing mercy to. your relationships and friendships and broken families can be salvaged and reshaped into something new and better.

things are fucked, but if we give it everything we have, we can save it, and it’s worth taking up that fight, because nothing is set in stone.

fuck it, be happy. 

remember those?

i'm gonna get into it character by character:

luther.

his entire plotline was meant to be about realizing he was abused, disavowing his abuser and finding his confidence to become the leader he never got to be and go after the love he lost with allison and make a family with her and claire. that was his starting point.

and the fandom hated him rabidly. they said he was just as bad as his father, insisted that he had no redeemable qualities, made fun of his body and his traumas, took the situation with vanya and removed all the moral grays to call him evil over it, and insisted that he was Somehow Abusing Allison.

in season 2, luther has conveniently disowned and confronted reginald offscreen before the plot starts.

he immediately apologizes to vanya, who is an amnesiac and can't actually hold him accountable for hurting her, and the situation is never mentioned again.

his body dysmorphia is played for laughs.

his intelligence and leadership qualities are gone and he's just a bumbling idiot. remember when luther was an astronaut who effectively kept up a faulty space station for four years on his own? could you believe this dumbass was that guy?

he's a punching bag for the fans who hated him.

and season 3 seals the deal. he's still an idiot, he's still hideous.

his romance with allison is destroyed as offensively as possible to reassure the fans who hated alluther.

his romance with sloane is a clumsy attempt to keep the payoff he and allison should have had into the story as they're placating the fans who hate them.

and in season 4, he's... a stripper. he never finds a way to love his body, he just conveniently doesn't have it anymore, and he's still treated like a joke for it.

he never meaningfully takes command of the academy, he just stops trying to.

the wife season 3 insists he loves so much is gone and he doesn't give a shit.

he never even confronts allison for assaulting him, or reconciles with her and has a significant relationship with claire.

he decides to just die.

his entire character trajectory was aborted after only one season. he spent 75% of the runtime with nothing to do, because the fandom hated him and the writers were too cowardly to follow through with his character.

diego.

his entire plotline was meant to be about letting go of his aggression issues by finding his place in the family, reforming his rivalry with luther into a deep friendship based on mutual support and unpacking his 30 year history with vanya in order to finally be happy and in love with her after facilitating her redemption.

and his character's arc is dependent on others....

so in season 2 when luther's arc was canned, so was diego's journey towards letting go of his ego and finding a way to support luther after spending his whole life being pitting against him.

in season 2, when allison's arc was canned, diego ended up with the commission / jfk assassination plot that was never meant to be his. his entire dynamic with number five was hers.

in season 2, because klaus took his vietnam plot in season 1, diego doesn't have one anymore, so there's no way to meaningfully unpack how he feels like his only purpose is violence. instead, his anger issues are totally ignored.

and in season 2, when vanya was split into elliot-page-playing-himself and lila, the romance went out the window too. yes, diego falls in love with lila, but he barely knows her, and all she's done is manipulate, drug, kidnap and hurt him and the academy... yet all that bad behavior is totally ignored in the Show About Abuse And Trauma, because they have chemistry. there's no deep, complex history between them that could have anchored the relationship. the redemption arc itself is rushed and undeserved.

oh, also, he doesn't feel upset about eudora anymore. never mentions how he got her killed, or that he loved her.

then in season 3, diego has nowhere to go but deeper into his romance arc. he has no tension with luther to resolve (and with the show assassinating alluther, there's no 'we both love our girlfriends and want to make it home to tell them that, so let's get over our bullshit and help each other get there' revelation like in the comics). his relationship with lila gets even weirder, with her... deciding to babytrap him, getting a kid killed in the process, and it being framed as quirky and hot. and no eudora again.

and in season 4, diego is a family man who doesn't give a shit when his kids are wiped from existence, whose marriage is about to implode. who decides to just die.

there's just... nothing. he's just himbo #2.

allison.

her entire plotline was meant to be about realizing how culpable she is in the abuse of her family, unlearning those manipulative tendencies and figuring out how to exist authentically, making amends with the people she hurt-- especially vanya and her ex-husband and daughter-- and restarting her life with someone she can love: luther.

allison isn't formally character assassinated until season 3, but she was wrong from the start.

because in season 1, they had her be already past all those things in the pilot episode because they're too sexist to let women be messy. allison is conveniently totally in control of her behavior and has already decided not to use her rumor anymore. she already accepts responsibility for hurting her ex and daughter.

and the writers refused to let her and vanya be angry at each other because ~we don't believe in girl hate~. leading to allison forgiving her for slitting her throat and leaving her to die.

in season 2, the writers wouldn't give her the commission plotline from the comics. allison was the protagonist of the dallas arc, who had a complex story about being willing to alienate her loved ones in order to save them, being ruthless enough to belong at the commission, making deals with the devil to get her powers back and save her the academy.... and unknowingly creating a paradox where she is responsible for the traumatizing incident of watching someone be killed when she was a girl.

instead, allison is saddled with a c-plot about how you have to be nice when you protest, and how fighting back violently against the racist who tried to literally hatecrime you yesterday makes you just as bad as him. rewatch that scene. look at how it’s framed. that’s the takeaway.

and throughout allison's time in dallas, none of the academy check in with her on how she's doing. no one cares. even when she was attacked at a protest they all know she was at, no one asks her if she's okay.

instead of showcasing allison's ruthlessness and dedication to her family, we meet her having conveniently moved on after her daughter was killed, happily settled into dallas with a new relationship, and having given up on ever finding a way home.

instead of showing allison learn to adapt to life without her rumor, we meet her having already figured out how to get a job, make friends, and have a relationship without it. she doesn’t even have to find the courage to join the activists because she did already.

instead of allison learning how to live without a physical voice, she can just talk again. her power's just... back.

instead of allison being rightfully furious at vanya for disabling her, depowering her, stranding her alone in the jim crow south for years, and killing her child... she instantly forgives her. dance party! no girl hate here!

her romance with luther is intact, but the writers know you hate it, so they're trying to please you by giving her a romance with a man who she doesn't trust with any information about her, who doesn't trust her, and who allison doesn't hesitate to abandon five days after luther shows up. but hey they have chemistry, so they were Truly In Love, apparently. no seriously, the raymond romance is bad.

season 3 tries to do the heavy lifting with the messier aspects of allison, but this happens too late, and it mostly functions as a way to assassinate her character to turn her into an angry black woman stereotype so they can kill her romance with luther as meanly as possible, and set sloane up to take her place.

she suddenly cares that her daughter is dead and that viktor technically killed her after an entire season of not caring. and her decision to alienate the academy to save her rings false because she spent two years not caring. why now.

her romance with luther implodes when the writers decide to just do what the fandom wants and make it Toxic All Along, after two seasons of framing it in the most positive light possible. and allison sits front row at his wedding to a woman he barely knows, smiling through it like that wasn't supposed to be her, or like she didn't just assault him.

because viktor and allison have had such an artificially nice relationship, there's no payoff to them learning to love each other again, like viktor encouraging the group to sympathize with allison afterher betrayal.

the effect of this is that at the end of season 3, allison has regressed into the person she was before season 1, but do you even want to see her get better or get along with the academy after she tried to assault luther, killed viktor's stepson, and sold everyone down the river to live in a fantasy world?

good news! all that doesn't matter in season 4! luther and viktor never confront allison for doing that to them. the whole family's over her betraying them. raymond? oh, he's just gone. yeah, he left between seasons. we won't even unpack the implications, or that allison's right back to being a divorcee whose husband abandoned her after learning what she did with her rumor, trying to live without that power. oh and don't worry, she isn't dependent on her power anymore. yeah, we just solved that offscreen again.

claire's here, but is there even a point.

allison and klaus's relationship is intact, but because the show won't seriously examine klaus's addiction, we can't discuss how they enable each other, or how allison's manipulative tendencies or klaus's flightiness and addiction might be affecting claire. no more intergenerational trauma discussion here.

allison has nothing to do because slowly learning how to admit how much harm she inflicted on her loved ones, live without her power, and earn vanya/viktor's trust back was her arc and it's... all over the fucking place.

then, she decides to just die.

klaus.

his entire plotline was meant to be about realizing how much damage his addiction has done to himself and his family, getting clean and conquering the crippling fear of his power that made him an addict in the first place.

then in season 2, he's clean offscreen. no exploration of klaus trying to stay on the wagon for the first time in decades. we're just three years into him being totally fine sober. no complications.

and his relapse is played for laughs instead of treated like a devastating moment.

in season 2, his grief over dave is glossed over. yes, we see dave for five minutes, which is more than the three minutes he got in season 1, but klaus is Moved On Already. no discussion of what this relationship meant to him (... or how ben was affected, being the third wheel). no rumination. just a quick 'here's dave to shut the fans up' and on we go.

in season 2, klaus's excitement about exploring his powers' potential is gone already. yeah, he figured them out offscreen.

his cult plotline replaces his comics story of being a clubkeeper in vietnam and becoming a father (yes, klaus has a baby in vietnam), and the entire plotline is a mean-spirited metanarrative about how dumb the writers think his fangirls are. like. fucking look at the narrative. they're making fun of you.

and yet there are no serious consequences to the implications of klaus immediately turning into his dad the second he gets a little power. he isolated a bunch of people from the outside world, derailed their lives, tattooed them, got them hooked on the idea that The End Is Nigh and Only He Can Save Them, got them to have sex with him, and only stopped manipulating them because he was bored. not even because he realized it was wrong.

his relationship with ben is queerbaited to hell, and has no resolution.

he spends the entire season deliberately keeping ben isolated from the rest of the academy, and this is never meaningfully examined. klaus is an absolute bastard in season 2, and the writers don't acknowledge it.

by season 3, he's just a joke machine and a flamboyant stereotype. he never has a substantive interaction with sparrow ben, or struggles with his sobriety or his addiction in a way that takes it seriously. even his meeting with his mother feels empty.

and in season 4, the mothers of agony plotline from the comics is so disjointed that it's meaningless. in the comics, this is his lowest low, that ben helps him come back from.

any depth to the implications of his immortality is gone. it's just funny that he's a germophobe.

(... immortality? how'd he get killed in the first season apocalypse timeline then. no answer? okay.)

any potential in his relationship with allison and claire is gone.

like luther, his crucial development is skipped over and he spends half the season wandering in circles making jokes.

and he decides to just die.

five.

his entire plotline was meant to be about learning to trust the academy and work within them as a team member rather than running off and doing his own thing. and about slowly learning to be a person instead of a vehicle for the mission.

in season 2, he inexplicably lets the commission go and trusts they're Good Now thanks to new management, after making it clear in season 1 that he can't ever trust them.

in season 2, his antipathy with vanya is transferred to lila. he never accepts responsibility for his role in leading to her isolation.

in season 2, instead of trying to get the family together, he's still working on his own.

in season 3, instead of riding hard for viktor and sympathizing with him, he calmly tells him he'll put him down if he ever steps out of line again and ignores him the rest of the time.

for three straight seasons, he's the plot driver. but three seasons in with no other characters having a coherent arc, the plot driver became all he was. he couldn't slow down or have an emotional moment because he's the only thing moving things forward and all the people who can bring out those emotions are so ooc that it won't work.

then in season 4... oh boy.

he's not the plot driver anymore because there's no plot.

five slowly trying to embrace domesticity could have been interesting... but boy does it fall flat.

five created the commission! no, we won't discuss the nature of him being responsible for his own abuse, or perpetuating the cycle that led to the apocalypse and the academy's misery.

five falls in love... with his brother's wife, who he hates, who hates him because he hog-tied and tortured her parents to death in front of her when she was a little girl. okay.

then he decides to just die.

ben

his entire presence in the story was building to a reveal that he's only staying with klaus because he's in love with him.

in season 2 they queerbait that connection for ten episodes by framing him as a literally possessive boyfriend, give him a 'love interest' in jill that makes no sense, kill him off in a scene that makes no sense because that's not how their powers work, and have the vaguest 'by the way he was in love with you' reveal via vanya that feels like an afterthought.

klaus keeps ben from talking to anyone in the academy for the whole season for no reason. he never mentions why, ben never gets mad at him. there are no emotional consequences. ben spent an entire season able to talk to the academy and inform the world and nothing ever comes of this.

in season 3, ben's a totally different character. none of the umbrella academy have emotional reactions to seeing him alive.

not even klaus.

and he feels nothing for them.

he also feels nothing for the sparrows, who drop like flies around him without him giving a shit.

in season 4 he's a completely different character again.

no interest in reuniting with his sparrow academy mates, or the umbrella academy.

he's a crypto bro for some reason.

the south korea subway ending stinger? idk where that went.

the show does use the comics' likely endgame of ben being the portal through which the final antagonist arrives. but they do it in such a strange, meaningless way.

the romance with jennifer comes out of nowhere and makes no sense. it's unclear why he'd want to become a blob with her. there's no emotion anchoring this plot.

also, jennifer was a large, dark-skinned black woman in the comics and... isn't here. (it's also unclear if jennifer was romantically involved with ben in the comics, or if she might have been one of the kid's mothers. so uh. we'll see how that ends up.)

his tentacles come out of his back sometimes. huh?

the reveal that he was killed by their father and they were all brainwashed makes no sense. especially given that allison has brainwashing powers that are never used to cover this up.

there's never a meaningful payoff for ben as a character.

and vanya/viktor…

to start, seasons 1-2 will call her vanya because that's how the character was written, performed and received. seasons 3-4 will refer to him as viktor. that's why the name/pronouns switch back and forth in this post. those are two different characters.

alright i'm gonna say it: the show basically killed off vanya at the start of s2 and split her into two characters: lila, who's the white violin from the comics-- and has vanya's style, punk musicianship, romance with diego, mutual hate with five, alliance with the commission, status as the most powerful character, and role as the antagonist who needs a redemption arc that rejoins her with the family-- …. and the character that would become viktor, who's just elliot page playing a flattened version of himself for token queer points.

the show literally got rid of its main character one season in, sped past all the conflict with the academy to the part where they're all besties again, and gave all the interesting shit to an oc. and they did it because they cared more about profiting off of elliot page's queerness than trusting him to do his job as a professional actor, and supporting that performance in the face of a fandom that only saw him for his sexuality/gender identity.

season 2 skips over vanya learning to use her power and lose her fear of it. she's just good at it now. also, the character will never use the violin to channel her powers again, and will never again acknowledge her love of music, because elliot page didn't like playing the violin. like, sir. what are you doing playing a character called 'the white violin' then.

season 2 skips over her rage and hatred of the academy. instead of being afraid of them, avoiding them, and being hostile whenever they interact, she's instantly cool with them, dismisses their years of mistreatment and dismissal, and is part of the family with no friction despite trying to kill them, blowing up the world, and killing their niece.

season 2 totally resets her personality. amnesia! she's nice again! we know you hated her when she was angry, so don't worry about that!

season 2 gives her a romance with someone who she has chemistry with, but who fundamentally doesn't understand her. the entire relationship is just fanservice. remember the lesbian vanya truthers who thought elliot page could only play characters who were lesbians because he identified as a lesbian at the time? remember their "give vanya a girlfriend" whining? this entire plotline was for them.

season 2 hands the moment where the academy understands vanya and empathizes with her in a moment of superpower meltdown.... to harlan.

in season 3, diet elliot page just becomes overt. it's great that page's transition was incorporated into the show at his request, and at this point the damage to the character's so massive that at least they're being honest about the character just being a different entity from vanya entirely. like, fuck it. you already gave all of vanya's character to the oc. might as well.

though it's great that the transition is quickly incorporated into the story, it happens so quickly that a very easy plotline for viktor in s3 is just rushed past. he has so little to do, the transition is such an obvious fix, and they just... don't do it.

because viktor magically has full control of his powers, there's no more growth from him. and at this point his powers just do whatever. who even knows what his abilities are. the show sure doesn't.

viktor is a beloved member of the academy with no friction whatsoever, even though they're trapped in an alternate dimension because of him

allison's anger at him is demonized instead of deconstructed.

the harlan plotline certainly exists. very funny that the show casually reveals that vissy ruined sissy's life and never goes into the emotional consequences of this.

in season 4... yeah this character has nothing to do. he never expresses anger at allison over killing his stepson. his powers are even more vague. he's in canada for some reason, just to complete the transformation into elliot page.

then he decides to just die.

the main character of the story was essentially killed off one season in. the whole thing became adrift because without vanya, there's no main character anymore. no central antagonist with history with the academy, no emotional weight to their connection, no payoff to a slow redemption arc that unfolds over multiple seasons. just shenanigans.

lila

took over the vanya storyline in season 2.

lila is vanya from the comics.

vanya's hatred of the umbrella academy and antagonism towards them? it's now lila's.

vanya's alliance with the commission to destroy the world? nope. lila's the commission's ally now.

vanya's status as the most powerful character? now it's lila.

vanya and five's mutual hate? now belongs to lila and five. even the fiveya vibe rubberbanded into That in season 4.

vanya's slow redemption from a hateful villain of the academy into one of its most crucial members is handed to lila. who barely knows these people, has only ever hurt them, and yet is treated with more empathy with them after three days than vanya received in thirty years.

vanya being set up as the character who'll save the umbrellas from the sparrows? nope, that's lila now.

vanya's romance with diego? that's lila's now. no, it doesn't make sense but they have chemistry.

then in season 3... oh god. instead of unpacking lila's severe mommy issues from being abused by the handler, she's just over them now.

the academy immediately trust and embrace her even though all she's ever done is hurt them.

and for some reason, this character who's shown no maternal instincts randomly decides she wants to be a mom because her one night stand with diego, who she knew for a few days, got her pregnant.

and she tries to convince him a little white boy is their kid to test if he'll be a good father and doesn't give a shit when that child turns to dust. what are we doing here.

then in season 4, their romance doesn't even mean anything. neither does their family. they're already on the verge of a divorce. which... yeah, follows, given what their romance actually consisted of.

then she hooks up with number five, who killed her family in front of her when she was a girl. what.

.... and then we die.

the whole thing came apart in season 2. you just didn't notice yet.

and here's where i get cunty and set aside my belief that writers have an inherent responsibility to never kowtow to their fans no matter what, because the fandom is a big part of how things went wrong, and someone has to talk about it.

the umbrella academy begun as a complex metaphor for recovering from abuse, using superheroes in a gothic-adjacent setting. every single character's power is allegorical of an attribute one may take on from living in an abusive home. (and part of the missed potential in lila is the failure to fit her into that metaphor too). and the metaphor is literally in the name: the umbrella academy.

it's an academy. not a family. the characters are only adoptive siblings because reginald needed a legal way to bind them to him. they grew up in a twisted boarding school, which they explain again and again, and call each other siblings out of habit, which they also explain. and they are choosing as adults to overcome the trauma that pitted them against each other to become a found family.

... i'm gonna say it. the pseudoincest is a vital part of the story, the same way it is in the comics. that was how they were going to love each other. their ability to love each other was the sign that the brainwashing failed, and the found family was, like actual found families, going to involve some of those people pairing off romantically. allison and luther. ben and klaus. vanya and diego-or-five. that was the story.

the umbrella academy is both a giant metaphor for healing from a dysfunctional family, and for finding a queer found family (... it's the umbrella academy. that's the part of the allegory that's still unfulfilled. everyone in this story is queercoded, not just klaus and vanya/viktor. the show massively dropped the ball in not exploring this deeper.) and the fandom screamed, whined and harassed their way into having it scribbled out of the story, and the writers were cowardly enough to do it for you. if you're wondering why they kept trying to sneak alluther in through the back in season 2, still had a harcest couple get married in season 3, and pivoted to shipping lila so hard, that's why. it's the most important thing about the story, and you hated it. is it any shock that the story ends with all their relationships stunted, and no love between them.

remember all those themes from season 1? remember how you guys hated them? remember how you concluded that luther is an irredeemable monster, and klaus is an innocent little baby, and vanya is somehow both and neither? remember how you were completely uninterested in watching everyone redeem themselves, and wanted to skip to the Fun Sibling Moments? remember how you immediately dismissed half the characters as lost causes, and directly demanded that the writers not let the characters love each other? congrats, the writers were listening!

the umbrella academy comic is meant for adults. the show was made for a wider audience and the writers were totally unprepared for the fandom of antifan teens they got. and they overhauled the show to make it what that fandom wanted. more fun, less substance. making luther a bumbling idiot and sidestepping his entire arc. making diego a himbo. skipping allison's complexities until it's time to demonize her for them. making klaus into the cartoon version of himself. making vanya into diet elliot page and handing all her storylines to a new character. dismantling the show's core tone to make it a fanservice carnival. creating vissy, allmond and dielila in the first place, and coining the ship names before the fandom even chose them. making alluther toxic all along, and swapping her out with a white-passing replacement. it was all for you.

then when they ended the show, they flipped off the fandom on the way out. of course it was going to end like that. you spent five years playing oppression olympics, making bigotry self-righteous, and declaring you didn't want a transformative ending for these characters. the writers gave the fandom the hopeless, nihilistic, meandering, substanceless, nonsensical ending it was demanding all along.

so. where do we go from here.

first of all, to ao3, for those of you who haven't moved on.

next, to the comics. assuming way ever wants to finish them, now that he's received an overwhelming message that the audience for his story hates it and prefers the bastardized versions of his characters. i get the sense he'll probably leave it unfinished. i don't blame him.

then... the umbrella academy was a massive success. it's going to get a reboot someday. in 10-15 years, we're gonna get it back. my hope is that

whoever has that responsibility has a clear vision and the talent to pull it off, the backbone to stick with it, and more loyalty to the source material. no subverting expectations for the hell of it. no kowtowing to antifandom. make a plan and stick to it and have confidence in it. hopefully, the next showrunner won't be a terrible person.

the next version of tua will be mature. so the adults who will watch will hopefully be old enough to understand what they're seeing. this truly isn't a show for kids. the fandom has proven that. let's not do it again.

that it'll be animated. the incredible visual aesthetic of the show and its edgier elements could never have been captured in live-action. and now that adult animation's starting to arrive, including on netflix, maybe in a decade or two we'll finally get the umbrella academy fully realized.

anyway. that's my piece.

[fetishfairytales2]

Besties 5 (Story)

This was originally written as a continuation of a story by @wittlesissyb4by called Besties. Check out all their fantastic stories on Tumblr and SubscribeStar.

————— Besties 5: Nursery Naughtiness

God, Brandon was being such a little bitch, dragging his sissy self into his former bedroom with tears in his eyes. Honestly, this just proves how clueless men are. He knows we're going to do whatever we wanted to him and he'd still try to resist. What a dumb ass. But my irritation melted away as Heather strutted out of the closet, looking hot as hell. She was wearing nothing but a smile and some red heels!

"So, what do ya think?" Heather asked, flashing a wicked smile. Damn, she was killing it! Heather was practically glowing. Her tits were on point, and her waist? Like, whoa, so tiny and smokin'. She did a little spin to show off her tight little ass and playfully stuck her tongue out. "Mhmm, check you out!" I playfully joked.

Even Brandon couldn't resist taking a peek Heather, and that's saying something considering his itty bitty caged clitty! His face was a mix of humiliation and pain, and I couldn't hold back my laughter at his torture. Heather and I exchanged a knowing smirk, loving her complete control over him. "Oh, it looks like daddy's in for an goid night," I taunted, playfully messing up Brandon's hair. "Does someone else like what they see too, Sissy?"

Oh my god, Connor is going to be drooling when he sees you, Heather!" I playfully nudged her and let out a squeal. She was staring at her suffering sissy and I could see the pure joy in Heather's eyes as she started to mess with him again. "Don't worry, babe," she said with a smirk, strutting towards him. She took his face in her hands and stared into his eyes. "I'm sure Ms. Lyndsey will keep you entertained while I'm gone..." She taunted with a slow, seductive grin, before finally releasing him.

"Aww, is the little sissy baby blushing? How pathetic!" I couldn't help but laugh at Brandi’s embarrassment. "And don't think I'm gonna show off my goodies to just anyone," Heather added, disappearing in her closet. She sashayed out a few seconds later, wearing a tiny black trench coat that barely covered her butt. "So don’t be jealous sweetie!” She giggled, blowing Brandon a kiss. “Only Connor whenever he wants and you when I let you"

While Heather pranced off to fix her makeup, she suddenly perked up. "OMG!" she squealed. "Cruciex!" Just like that, Brandon became stiff as a board and started walking towards us. "What's that one do?" I asked, watching the little sissy make his way across the room. "Oh, it's like, totally genius. It puts him into corner time! He has to stand in the nearest corner with his nose against the wall and keep his mouth shut, no matter what's happening.” All I could do was just stare in amazement at him, all tucked away in the corner like a good little sissy. “This is SO awesome!”

Sorry, I don't have time to give you all our little loser's sissy trigger words and show you around the house," Heather sighed with a disappointed look at her phone's clock. "But don't worry, Brandi will be excited to show you her playroom! If she isn't, we can make her excited about it'" she chuckled, "Oh, and I'll text you the whole list of words to use. And let me tell you, there are so many toys in his nursery. Daddy Connor helped build both the nursery and the playroom, by the way, for our lucky sissy!"

I couldn't help but laugh, while Heather slapped her forehead in that overdramatic way she does. "Duh!" she exclaimed. She started to unclasp the key to Brandi's chastity cage from her neck and handed it to me. "Here, you take this. I have more than enough dick to handle tonight!" Heather couldn't contain her laughter as she adjusted the key, making sure it was nestled between my boobs. "I love wearing it like this, it's a constant reminder to her of what she can see but not touch!"

"Come on," Heather gestured towards the door. "She won't get into any trouble, Brandi's practically a doll at this point!" We walked down the hallway to what I remembered as the guest bedroom door, but now it was painted a soft pink with white accents. I had to smile when I saw the foam letters on the door that spelled out "Sissy's Nursery." Heather just shrugged. "The only people who come over are either people I want to hook up with, people who are here to help me humiliate Princess Pampers, or both!" Always one for dramatic flair, Heather paused for suspense. "Ready?", she swung open the door. "Ta-da!"

My jaw dropped. "Oh my gosh, girl! This is insane!" The nursery walls were painted a soft pink with white accents, and a plush white rug covered the floor. In the corner sat a big toy chest, painted to match the rest of the room, with "Sissy's Toy Box" written on the front. Heather grinned and patted it. "Connor custom-made this for our little sissy 'daughter'," she said, winking at me. "It only took a blowjob from Brandi!" The toy box was packed with all sorts of sissy playthings, including butt plugs, vibrators, rope, and handcuffs! "Oh my gosh, Brandi is so lucky! I didn't get my first vibrator until I was 16! He must have, like, five different dildos!" I cackled, nodding towards the toy chest.

Heather shrugged with a smile, "She have a total of 10, and none of them are under 6 inches for my little slut." As she searched through the toy box, I couldn't help but stare at her backside peeking out from under her coat. Conner was definitely a lucky man. "She's even given each of them a name," she called out, still rummaging. "There's Pinkie, Mr. Biggs, and Mr. Peter, who you've already met..." Then, she popped back up with three massive dildos in her hands. Two were different skin tones and easily over 9 inches in size. "And these two," she stifled a giggle, "are Mr. John and Mr. Jason!"

With a flourish, she presented the third - a black dildo covered with plastic studs. "This is Mr. Charles," she announced, unable to contain her laughter. It was clear that she had just a little too much wine. I caught on quickly and joined in her laughter. "Wait a minute... aren't John and Jason your exes?" Heather confirmed my suspicions with a nod, barely able to keep it together now. "Yes, girl! Every time I get my bitch boy a new toy," she gestured towards the box of sex toys, "I make him name it after one of my past lovers! He has to look at their dick pics, rate their cocks, and tell me which of my ex-boyfriends he would want to fuck him! Then he had to moan their name every time he fucks himself with ‘their cock’!"

This was seriously the best day of my life. I couldn't stop laughing. Finally, this douche of a human was getting what was coming to him and my bestie had embraced her inner mean girl to dish out some much-needed punishment. "But who's Charles?" I inquired, nodding towards the black toy. "Ah, yes!" Heather giggled. "He's Brandi's hot boss. I've been threatening her that I'll sleep with him…again."

Heather flipped a switch on the dildo's base, causing it to vibrate and rotate. "See, that's why I chose this one. Studded and vibrating - messes with the sissy’s head and poor butthole!" I laughed as I watched the toy shake in Heather's hand. "I even make her practice deepthroating it while she moans Charles' name. Just for added fun, sometimes I'll send her off to work with it up her butt," she turned off the toy and proudly held it out for me to examine. "It's hilarious to think that the man whose name she was just moaning is bossing her around all day at the office!"

Heather put away the toys and strolled over to the center of the room where a massive crib sat. Brandon's crib was all pink and white, matching the rest of the room. But it was made out of sturdy wood and had a heavy metal gate on top that looked like it could be locked! "Connor made this one too," Heather said, pointing to the crib. "It's gotta lock to make sure we're not interrupted by a whiny sissy during our playtime!" She winked at me and demonstrated how to latch the metal lid over the top. "Connor insisted on it after Brandi barged into our room one night during 'adult time'. Let's just say he got a good spanking from an annoyed daddy and couldn't sit for a week. After that, Connor built this to keep her temper tantrums under control."

Wow, there was even a pink padlock to sissy in her crib! "Wow, boo, this is so wicked!" I lifted the hinged lid and took a peek. "Holy crap!" Inside were two pink and white pillows in the shape of cocks, stitched with the words 'Sissy Cuck' in sparkly gold! "Gift from my sister to constantly remind Brandi of her place" Heather explained. Next to them was a matching blanket, also embroidered; 'Sissy Cum Slut' in glittery letters. "Also a gift from my sis when I told her about Brandi's new lifestyle," Heather laughed as I picked it up. "Aaanddd...", Heather said with a grin, "just to mess with her a little more, Conner made the bed a tad too small. Brandi can never fully relax in her cute little bed."

I couldn't help but notice how tight and uncomfortable it was in there, and it would only get worse when it's completely shut. "Poor Princess must suffer so much when I lock her up in here with his dirty diapers, and Connor and I get too caught up to let him out. And it's usually for hours at a time! Oops, our bad!" 

I was totally obsessed with the crib and didn't even notice when I accidentally knocked the baby monitor off the nightstand. "Whoops, my bad..." I said, glancing down at the monitor. "Wait, isn't this supposed to be on the other end?" I asked, showing it to Heather. "Oh, you wait, girl," she laughed, taking the monitor from me to check to turn it on before handing it back. "Just give me a minute..."

Heather skipped out of the room and I could hear her voice coming through the baby monitor. "Anti-Cruciex... Princess, you gonna tell Mommy why there's a baby monitor in your room. It's not there for Mommy to hear from her sissy, right?" A long pause followed, probably while Brandon's face turned bright red with embarrassment. "N...no..." he stammered. "Then why's it there, silly Brandi? What exactly is Mommy monitoring?" Heather asked, pretending to be clueless. "M...mommy and daddy..." Brandon whined. "Mommy and Daddy, what, Princess?" Heather pressed, knowing the answer already. "What have you been hearing from your room about what Mommy and Daddy are doing? Use your big girl words," she commanded with a smile in her voice. 

Brandon barely managed to mumble the word "f...fucking." before Heather cut him off. "Good girl, Cruciex," she ordered. "Back in the corner, Princess Piss Panties. Chop chop." Oh this was fucking perfect. I couldn't think of anyone more deserving of this humiliation than Brandon. Moments later, Heather returned to the room, winking at me. "Do you get it now?" she asked, giggling. "You make him listen to you having sex?" I sputtered, still shocked. "That's brutal, girl!"

Heather and I kept exploring the nursery. I couldn't help but notice the huge changing table with straps on all four corners. "Brandi can be a bit squirmish when it's time for a diaper change," Heather mentioned, casually gliding her fingers along the pink leather straps. "And when Connor's feeling extra playful, he likes to turn the changing table towards the crib, strap Brandi down, and make him watch us hook up over the side of the crib!" There was a second diaper pail conveniently attached to the changing table, labeled "extra soiled diapers." Gross.

Heather seemed to know exactly what I was thinking and let out a wicked laugh, saying, "That'e a special kind of punishment for when Brandi is a naughty sissy!" My eyes widened as she explained - she really was all into this. "You know, there are other places besides sissy behinds that a dirty diaper can be taped onto, y'know? Sometimes Brandi needs to 'face' her new life in diapers!" Heather chuckled. “Do you just…” I started to ask, he really did piss her off big time, huh?

“No,” Heather shook her head. “It definitely gets better…or worse I guess if you ask Brandi. Sometimes, when she's been really naughty, I like to take things up a notch. Instead of just making her wear the dirty diaper, I like to feed her the mess." Heather smiled, clearly enjoying explaining herself, proud of how far she’s pushed her loser ex. "Sometimes in life, I guess Brandi just has to eat shit and like it, y’know?” I was doubled over laughing now. I wasn’t sure I would make it through tonight. This was incredible!

As we walked through the tour, something caught my eye that I hadn't noticed before. Oh boy, was I taken aback! I expected all the art to be cutesy, babyish, and sweet. But what I saw in the pictures was anything but. My jaw dropped as I realized that each one was a different kind of kinky. In the biggest frame, poor Brandon was spending what looked like some "quality time with Daddy," if you know what I mean. Heather stood in the background, of the photo, smiling evily as she kept Brandon in place, preventing him from moving. Brandon was completely naked, his hands tied behind his back and a gag in his mouth. Behind him was Connor, holding onto his hips. Brandon's body was tense, and his face showed a mix of terror and humiliation. I could only imagine what Connor was doing to him. "Oh, that one is the night Brandi's sissy cherry got popped," Heather shared following my gaze to the picture.

"I have a whole baby album of Brandi bursting with pictures," Heather continued explaining. "Especially ones featuring her and Daddy, but this one is definitely my top pick! Over there," she gestured to a larger photo above the crib, perfectly placed for everyone in the room to see. In the photo, Heather was on top of Connor, riding him cowgirl-style. Her boobs were out for Brandon to stare at helplessly from his crib. Her body was glistening with sweat and her face was full of pleasure. She had a very obvious smile as she stared into the camera. "That was the first time I fucked Connor," Heather recalled with a gleam in her eye. "The night that little Brandi lost her sweet and submissive girlfriend forever. I want that image to be the first thing she lays eyes on in the morning and the last thing she sees before bedtime!" I couldn't help but notice other photos scattered around the room as I looked around too.

Above the changing table, hung a very candid photograph in a pale pink frame, decorated with images of teddy bears and baby blocks. The glittery letters at the top spelled out "Daddy's Girl." This picture was definitely my favorite so far. In it, Connor had Brandon pinned down over his knee, delivering a stern spanking as Brandon's pink princess pull-ups bunched around his ankles. His bottom was covered in angry red handprints, and drool dripped down his chin. If Brandon's face wasn't buried balls-deep on Connor's dick, I'm sure we would see the face of a very sorry sissy baby. 

Heather exclaimed, pointing at the photo. "That's Connor's favorite method of spanking Brandi! He'll keep going until she can make him cum down her throat! It's hilarious when Connor makes her count each spank while his dick is buried deep in poor Brandi's mouth." She even mimicked the gagged blowjob, making sounds like "Unnn... Toww... Phreeeww..." She giggled, as if she had a mouthful herself! 

[spadesolace]

the idea of yoo - 1.4. what even is love? (written)

previous | next

“you sure about joining me for this service?” you looked at rei who was also putting her shoes on. nodding in confirmation that she does want to do this.

“i wouldn’t worry much about you being bored. father lee would keep you entertained.”

“why?”

“he says some… out of pocket things.”

rei looks at you confused as you fix her top. the sad smile is still evident in your features but not quite like the weeks before. an entire month, you were busy to say the least; working on backlogs and gaining extra for you and rei - mostly for rei.

the mass was quite the usual, you did have a responsibility for being the pianist to which you have to start looking for a new one.

your gaze travels around the people sitting below, rei is right next to you, looking around the amount of instruments just for you.

there’s jimin… i really messed up.

jimin lost her spark, the same gleam you saw when first meeting had been gone - like a star after a supernova, becoming a black hole. hoping that wasn’t the case for the shining star that is yoo jimin.

yeonjun was late, sitting next to his dad, who had quite the expression for whatever they were talking about. he still looked the same from the day he found out - disappointed, sad, and confused.

deacon yoo became white noise to you, you’ve heard the same message time and time again but you weren’t expecting jeno to stand in front. if rei was bored, this got her attention.

“thank you. love! what is love? love is patient, it is kind. it does not envy nor boast, it is not proud… which is why i love this little lady.”

if the heartbreak from the past month didn’t hurt, what jeno would say next will.

“and why - she’d make me a fantastic wife. Jimin, will you-“

“NO!” 

everyone turns around, yeonjun and jimin finally looks at you after a month. you were hoping not in this way, not letting your emotions get the best of you.

“i- uh- i just wanted to add that…” you maintained eye contact with jimin, within the friendship you had developed with yeonjun within the past months you learned one phrase. fuck it, we ball.

“love is-”

“love isn’t pretending.” yeonjun cut you off, taking a deep breath and a quick glance at deacon yoo then to jimin, looking at him so intently. “i know because i’ve been pretending. only for a few months, but it sucks.”

“yeon…” he’s being careful with his wording - not to cause mayhem in the small chapel. one that would make everyone question life and the little town that is kwangya.

“what sucks more is having to pretend to be - not you - your whole life.” that was directed at you, only yeonjun and rei know about it. 

“my whole life, i thought there was only one way to love, but there’s more. so many more - and i don’t wanna be the guy that stops someone loving… the way they want to love.” the yeonjun you first met months ago wasn’t like this. you knew him as the tall guy with pink hair and dances every now and then. he’s matured, understood where you were coming from, and he accepted it.

deacon yoo cuts him off, assuming this whole fiasco is done and getting ready to bring the attention back to jeno, the star of the show, the golden boy of the town, the one who everyone believed jimin is destined for. within years of observing, you learned one thing from yeonjun and jeno; fuck it, we ball.

“i also have been pretending…” gasps throughout the chapel, deacon yoo has given up at this point.

“i know where this is going, naoi y/n. i’m flattered, really, but you and i wo-”

“jeno, for once in your life - can it. i’ve been writing your assignments for the entirety of high school so stop acting like the hero in this story.” he shuts up, backs away and sits down next to father lee. taking a deep breath, you look back at jimin who has been looking at you for a while now.

“if you’ll forgive me, i will just rewrite you one last time.” you look at yeonjun who finally looks up at you, a sad smile, teary eyes, and flushed cheeks - nodding to let you continue on.

“love isn’t patient, kind, humble… love is messy, deceiving, selfish, and… bold.” jimin is confused as you walk down the stairs from the balcony. rei recording everything that is happening and you just let it.

“it’s not finding your perfect half. it’s about trying and reaching, and failing - despite the effort you put in with no promise of success. love is being willing to try something new.” a quick glance at yeonjun, he smiles at you, urging you to continue on.

“love is admiring your favorite art, despite it being overrated - but despite everyone looking your way and admitting that you are no different from the rest. yet, you are. the good thing about being different is that no one expects you to be like them.” everything finally clicks to jimin, from the letters, your actions, how different yeonjun is compared to the letters and conversations she had with him.

“love is accepting them for who they are despite the deception - making them fall for the idea of you.”

“you.”

“... yeah.”

you hold your breath, jimin makes her way. assuming she’d go after you - slap you, scream even, but no. she walks towards yeonjun, somewhat apologetic eyes and a loud smack was all you heard as she leaves. everything goes into mayhem. you started this.

“AMEN!” father lee shouted as everyone started screaming, fighting, having some bits and pieces of realization. yeonjun and his father talking, you couldn’t hear it but all you could is them hugging each other then the sudden scream from mr. choi.

“ARE YOU INSANE?!” yeonjun turn his head away from his father smacking him in the head, a smile towards you and a thumbs up. mouthing we good? you nod as you sign him to cover his head for another smack from his father.

“come on, let’s get going. that’s enough of this chaotic mess.” rei pulls you out of the chapel, letting the noise die down as you walk out and head on home.

taglist [CLOSED]:

@1luvkarina @beawolfbealionbeyou @pandafuriosa60 @txtbrainrot @rinapomu @limbforalimb @yoontoonwhs @noascats @thefckghost @petruchiosstuff

[aihoshiino]

Chp 160 was so??????? that I am straight up unable to form an opinion on it.

Like I can see the story going one of two ways. 'Kamiki is the evil mastermind actually he faked his reaction to the dvd' or 'Kamiki is playing the villian but is actually not the culprit'

And like both directions have massive problems.

The former would mean that the movie (which we spent nearly 40 chapters on) amounted to fucking nothing. Other characters ominous talking about Aqua trying to kill his father with it? Ruby's so called revenge arc? Nah, that meant nothing, the movie didn't do a damn thing.

And while I prefer the latter interpretation as it's the tonally and thematically consistent way, it would also mean that Akasaka has been circle-jerking us with the 'Kamiki is an evil serial killer.' -> 'No wait actually he isn't.' -> 'SIKE, HE IS EVIL.' -> 'Nvm he isn't.' for some inconceivable reason.

It's a mess no matter how you slice it, honestly I am so tired of oshi no ko and I just want it to be over already.

YEAH. THAT'S BASICALLY WHERE I'M AT.

In general, I just don't know why we're having a second confrontation with Kamiki. Narratively and emotionally, it's redundant - having him come back into the story and get his final resolution would be fine but playing out Yet Another Big Dramatic Showdown between him and Aqua just falls so flat for a number of reasons. We've already had the huge release of tension that was Aqua and Kamiki facing off like nearly an entire volume ago and everything that was emotionally riding on that confrontation was emotionally resolved. I know some people are still mad that Aqua didn't hit Kamiki with an orbital laser or something, but the absolute fucking gutpunch that was 153-154 was so incredibly effective and also just more interesting than this much more generic standoff. Not only is it kind of mid on its own merits but I feel like it retroactively makes that first confrontation weaker because like... it ends up not really mattering and we get a take 2 where Kamiki is acting like an entirely different character.

@yuseirra made an excellent point in their discussion of ch159 which is that (thematically speaking) the movie has to be the method by which Aqua achieves his revenge because Ai's tragedy was the result of the public's perception of her. If it isn't able to do that then not only was that arc just kind of a waste of everyone's time, reader and character alike, but it means the movie itself as an object in the narrative loses what little shaky thematic ground it has.

An issue the Movie Arc always had that it never really engaged with to my satisfaction is the underlying discomfort of watching Ai's life being turned into a movie. I said this over and over as the arc was ongoing, but there's something almost repulsive about taking this character whose life was warped and eventually ended up the exploitation of the entertainment industry and the voyeristic gaze of the public and indulging in that voyerism by creating fiction out of her life, chopping it up and outright making shit up to invent a version of her that the public can devour. It claims to be a movie about 'Ai Hoshino' but literally and explicitly fictionalizes the most pivotal events and relationships in her life - the 'Ai' of 15 Year Lie is just as fake as 'Ai of B-Komachi', just sold with an even more insidious lie to make her go down a little sweeter.

If the manga actually engaged with this idea or was even the slightest bit aware of this underlying discomfort, the Movie Arc as a whole would've been much better off for it and so would all the resolutions in the arcs following that rely on it as foundation. But as it stands, the movie is thematically dead on arrival and the fantastic emotional resolutions we got out of it, in spite of everything, have been seemingly retconned into irrelevance.

[sol-consort]

Aliens discovering our movies, art, books and video games and realizing why they’re all so precious to us

Like, a turian who comes from a high ranking family but just doesn’t have the abilities or skill the rest of their family has and it’s kinda outlasted for it puts on this old human vid called Encanto out of curiosity and by the end of it they’re a sobbing mess (whatever the turian equivalent of sobbing is) because “Mirabel just like me, fr fr.”

An Asari who just lost her first bondmate to old age and finding one of our sad songs about loss feels so touched by it and listens to it over and over again until she’s processed her own grief.

A Quarian who feel moved by a beautiful sculpture made of scrap metal and spare parts because it reminds them of the flotilla; a fleet of ships all held together with ductape, thread, and a prayer and yet still something beautiful.

The vibes I get from the other species is that they make their vids, games, books, and songs just to entertain, just background noise to fill the silence. Maybe they carry a deeper meaning sometimes but nothing compared to humans who pour their souls into their projects. Humans make fantastical stories out of the little parts of our lives that others can relate to and feel seen.

The handprint paintings on cavewalls come to mind. How instinctive drumming your fingers is how natural humming feels, how your brain spins stories before bedtime unprompted.

As much as war and disease have been parts of human history since the dawn of time, since the first spear was filled down, likewise music and art went with it hand in hand ever since the first flute was carved out, made from hollow birdbones and mammoth ivory, dating back to the time of ancients.

It's therapeutic. No one can deny the benefits of art on your mind and soul. It is what makes life worth living for many, the whimsy, the joy, the passion, the elation, the misery, the envy. The good and bad mirrors and reflections of our inner most desires, shameful feelings, and most creative ideas.

While the other species definitely don't lack in their culture and art—turians face tattoos borrowing from the batonical designs of nature—there is something to be said about the elcor deciding to adapt hamlet out of everything

There is a reason it's human music you hear playing at any self-respecting galactic club, ranging from the Citadel to Omega's own bars, the lights, the atmosphere, the valvety seats and soundtrack has a clear human touch. The human fashion which took over the asari modern wear like a swarm, inspiring many new designs combining the best of both worlds.

Humans aren't the only creative species, nor the one who care most about art. Rather, art comes naturally to us, all of us picked up colouring and drawing as kids, the urge to sing along to the radio, the desire to decorate your room, to spend hours moulding and sculpting characters in videogames even if they're end up wearing a helmet for the reminder of the story.

Art to us isn't necessarily a refined and polished thing like it is to the asari, neither is it an intricate impossibly complex dance with thousands of layers like the elcor. Our art is primal and integral. It's messy and often flawed. It's as mundane and common as the hair on our bodies, and it's everywhere. We breathe it into the world. Otherwise, it might sufficate it inside. It's so embedded within our whole existence that we are often blind to the more mundane forms of art, glossing over the way looking at sunsets gets our hearts slowing down.

Beauty was never the purpose of art for humans, but relief, communication, and self expression.

We look for art in everything, for a story under every unturned stone, for a poetic meaning behind the alignment of the stars, drawing shapes from their formation and assigning it meanings.

The other species could see that. it's what helped our reputation recover faster after the whole First Contact incident. What made the other species forgo their "bullies" perspective of humanity once they sampled our food, tasted our drinks, and were gifted bouquets of our flowers with cursive apologises worded so thoughtfully.

Art is the one thing you can't take from a human, we resort to it even during the most grim times of our life, especially during that, seek comfort in someone's creations, even quietly make our own versions inside the privacy of our heads. Just because art happens behind closed doors—or brains—doesn't mean it didn't happen. It's not a tree, it never required an audience to exist, its purpose is its mere just existence.

It's even infectious, wasn't the humans who got a krogan to agree and film a romantic comedy about falling in love with a human?

Do you think the hanar aren't absolutely fascinated by our tales of the sea, the ruthless spiteful ocean we seem to fear as much as we revere. The sirens, the krakens, the sailor shanties, the beautiful ships, and intricate wood carvings meant to bring luck.

Maybe the Turians can't get enough of human "coming of age" cheesy romcoms because our depictions of teenage rebellion and daring to be "selfish" and come into your own personhood is such a taboo amidst their military culture.

Or maybe they loathe it.

Instead, they prefer the stories about humans coming together to solve problems, realising the strength of cooperation, of beehive-like efficiency and utter trust in one another. Be it war films about soldiers coping with the cruel world while finding warmth in their comrades, or depictions of larger revolts where a whole population works together to put an end to their tyrannical leaders.

Maybe they're secretly Marvel fans, who knows.

Art doesn't have to be deep. It can be fun just for the sake of fun. Simple self-indulgence at its purest form. For every great classical piece of literature has been surpassed in sales by an erotica romance novelette with a shirtless cowboy on the cover.

I think the salarians would watch love paradise and other romantic reality shows about humans competing for one human's affection, hand in marriage, sometimes roses are involved—but salarians watch it with the same intensity of football fans watching a match, it is their own game of thrones, they don't care much for the sex but by the stars the "picking a mate" drama and gossip is equivalent to catnip for salarians

[hrodvitnon]

Just got out of my first viewing (spoilers so tag accordingly)

Yeah that was the most ridiculous shit ive ever seen and i had a blast lmfao.

--

To get the few negatives out of the way: Syclla and Tiamat got COOKED. That's crazy. Especially Tiamat. I had no idea she was in the movie and like choked on popcorn when they said her name. First onscreen appearance and she dies in like 3 seconds... sucks to be her. But honestly... this is probably one of those moments where Fan Content messes with the perception of a canon thing, at least for me. It hurts a lot more because of the emotional attachment from stuff like Ozymandias's story, Shamhat, and other adjacent stuff. If I had never seen those and watched her die I'd probably think "oh she had a cool design, but whatever". But yeah, my only serious complaint is her being shafted and I don't even really think I can call it objective because there was definitely an attachment there.

Ok besides that this might be my new personal favorite Monsterverse. Could be recency bias but I don't think so. Every human is at the very least entertaining. Everything Trapper did in this movie made me crack up, hearing Bernie say the words 'Discord chat' and 'Ghidorahstan64' (i stg this was a callout of some kind) onscreen gave me terminal whiplash, and although Jia and Andrew's story was sorta surface level, it was still endearing. I'd rather have a good human storyline, sure, but if we can't have that I'll settle for entertaining.

Here I thought Suko was gonna be an annoying marketing ploy to sell toys... I physically snorted in the theatre when Kong slammed him into that one ape. MVP of the film lmao. Mothra was... also there. Yeah, it really shows that she was a last minute addition. But DAMN she sent Godzilla ROLLING with a single attack. Speaking of, I don't think the Tia-Zilla form was as underutilized as I've heard people say it was. Especially that new Atomic Breath effect. Holy eargasm.

Oh man though, Shimo and Skar are fantastic. Skar hits the same beat as like a Celestial Dragon or Vladimir Harkonnen with way more grace than I would've expected from a big monkey. They go shockingly dark with his treatment of the ape-slaves and Shimo... especially with that female ape insinuation.

Holy shit poor Shimo, man. I honestly thought the Skar controlling her aspect would be kinda downplayed and just regular mind control, not genuine torture of some kind. I love that they let her have characterization by resisting him at every chance she gets, and that the pain control isn't always active (i'm assuming that's the insinuation of keeping her all chained and behind magma, it depowers and restrains her when Skar's not actively using her), further insinuating she gets merciful breaks from hellish enslavement only to be yanked back into it whenever Skar needs something turned into a popsicle. I think my favorite moment in the film is right after Suko shatters the crystal and the light blue luminescence fades to reveal her actual eyes for the first time. Eyes are used throughout the film to show subtle humanizing features, like Godzilla falling asleep in Rome, Kong's wide eyes when he sees his kin, and shock when Shimo realizes she's free. Having her eyes glowing the whole film makes her seem way more monstrous and inhuman, so when that suddenly goes away she starts getting framed as just an animal. Also her eyes are pretty. Also, I lied, that wasn't my favorite part of the film. My favorite part was Kong giving her chin scratches and that cute half-hug. This needs to be normalized. He needs to hug Godzilla next film. I will pay someone a king's ransom for this to happen. Final little detail, I like that Kong doesn't do his final roar from on her back but standing next to her, on the same level as all the other apes. He doesn't look to elevate himself over her or everyone else like Skar did, which is a great touch.

Also also also: Think it's time for a Doug solo film where he tries to steal all the Titans' food. Make it happen Legendary.

Much agreement here! I'd love for a solo Mothra MonsterVerse film to really capitalize on her lore and give her stuff to do (without dying at the end preferably); maybe establish some connection between the Chen family and Jia. Also, I need a little shot of Mothra going to visit Godzilla while he's sleeping in the Colosseum and just cuddle up to the big lug.

Andrews and Jia were a welcome breath of fresh air after GvK reversed Mark's characterization and Madison became... that. There was still some slight tension between Jia not feeling like she belongs and Andrews wanting to do right by her, even if it means possibly giving her up, only for Jia to go "you're my mom, you're my home, stop being dramatic". You love to see it.

Adding to the Doug solo film idea... Shimo adopts him because he's cute and she thinks his shenanigans are hilarious. Let us have fun wholesome times!

[speedierthanasubmarine]

I decided to watch helluva boss and imma do 2 separate posts for seasons 1 and two (why did I write it like that…?)

Season one

God I love this show. The writing is way more my speed than Hazbin hotel on Amazon, I enjoyed the writing in the pilot, but once Amazon took over the humor just didn’t really land for me, and tbh the plot took over and I started focusing more on that, and in general I’m more partial to the rapid fire YouTube dry comedy and this sentence is a friggin mess- I found HB SO FREAKIN FUNNY

Dude when he goes “FUCK, a new hole” I lost it

“Just try and sue us”

“We’re rich and we’re hot”

“I can just buy all the things!”

“You should commit die”

“Hehe, Trumpet!”

These are just my kinda lines, I don’t know how to explain it, I was wheezing all throughout the season

The music OH LORD when I say I’ve listened to stolas’s lullabye, lulu land, cotton candy, and house of ozmodius like 100000 times I’m… exaggerating but like you get the point the music here is friggin fantastic I also really like how a lot of the music is diegetic, I think that’s a fun touch. I don’t remember whether this is the case in Hazbin, but in this one it was like… I don’t know, it made sense that they were singing when they were singing… am I articulating myself well? I don’t care, iykyk if not, no prob

The animation is great, Viv loves them spinny shots and I am here for it. The amount of genuinely amazing action scenes is super impressive, and even the chill scenes have a ton of personality

The voice acting might be what steals the show for me, idrk anyone’s names cept Alex Brightman but BLITZS VA NEEDS AN AWARD, also slight tangent but I don’t know what it is with stolas’s va but he sounds a lot like a bird in the same sense that Gary Oldman sounded a lot like a bird in Kung Fu Panda 2, what is it that casting directors recognize in actors that screams bird?! Because both of these men are just SO BIRD DOES ANYONE GET WHAT I MEAN moving on, Ozzie’s voice was also effing PERFECT it slid silkily over me like… silk butter or smtg it was the perfect lust voice, I loved it. Everyone else was also great, but they were extra great.

It was also just so fun? Like in hazbin there’s very little just… shenanigans to enjoy, nothing wrong with that because it’s not that type of show, whereas this season is jam packed with them. Like I’ve heard that everyone hated episode 4, but like I don’t know I loved it😆 I just found it to be good old fashioned chicanery, and I liked the chaos and stupidity of it, made for some entertaining TV. This story engine is just mad entertaining for me.

I also enjoyed the writing of most of the characters (Millie, Moxxie, Loona, and Octavia still leave a bit to be desired imo, but whatever, they can’t all be winners and there’s nothing wrong with them) Blitz kinda reminds me of a Barney Stinson type character, which I really enjoy, and I also really like how his boss persona kinda infects everything he does while simultaneously being what’s screwing him over, his nature is kinda like a snake swallowing its own tail, which is tragic and beautiful, and Stolas compliments him well by being, not an enabler, but… I don’t know a clever way to say this… Stolas is a wreck in the best way and he just works. He’s short sighted, like extremely so, like how he thinks sleeping with Blitz will fill his emotional void so he does it but it just drives them further apart so it’s like he’s in a hole and in order to get out he’s gonna dig to pile up dirt so he can climb out but he’s an idiot and that’s a stupid idea and I loved his whole arc. Very enjoyable stuff drama.

Kinda random but whoever Viv’s foli artist is also deserves an award, the sound effects in this show are pristine and it’s incredible (yes I’ve seen the scene where the gun sounds go off a few seconds too late, and yeah, mistakes happen, but every bone crunch sounds and other stuff like that being so enunciated in an indie show is extremely impressive)

Anyhoo, very fun, very emotional, nice to look at, very funny, yada yada- altogether great season 1.

[brandwhorestarscream]

Courtesan au

Yesss Skywarp being not only getting closer to Thundercracker and Starscream but helping them getting closer to each other!!! It's almost like he's their missing piece. But of course they're not going to trine him. Yes that's what the royal trine want but Starscream and Thundercracker haven't known him for that long, and it would be unfair to Skywarp who didn't even want to be there in the first place. No, Thundercracker and Starcream haven't even considered trining Skywarp

The three of them get along swimmingly, and really are a wonderful little trio. The first time Starscream's garden produces real, proper buds, he gifts one to each of them. A blue crystal rose for Thundercracker, and a violet crystal pansy for Skywarp. TC is over the moon, and he's a total mess: his face is so hot and he starts stammering, tripping over his words. It's the first present his fiance has ever given him, and crystal roses have such a tender, sweet meaning in the extinct flower language. He goes home at the end of the day cradling it gently in his servos, gazing at it with the softest optics and warmest smile. Skywarp is significantly more collected: he's gotten a wide array of gifts over the course of his time as a courtesan, fancy jewels and the finest energon and expensive off world fabrics, but never something quite as unique as a crystal blossom.

It's honestly an incredibly romantic gesture 🤭

But you're right, none of them have trining in mind. Not at first. Skywarp is just there as their bodyguard to ward off the other noble houses. Starscream brought him in to buy himself and Thundercracker some breathing room. Nothing more.

I think, when feelings start to inevitably rise, there's a bunch of guilt. Skywarp made it clear he wants no part of any nobility's trine bond, at all, for any reason. He doesn't want them. He makes their days brighter and has such fantastic ideas, he listens so well and it's so easy to feel comfortable with him... but he's just doing his job. That's what courtesans do: they entertain, they make connections, they talk and dance and perform. And he's performing his duties perfectly, how can Starscream or Thundercracker foist more onto him? And reversely, Skywarp has watched and observed them for months and months now, he's seen the way all of high society's eligible bachelors and bachelorettes throw themselves at the two of them. In their prissy, classy way, of course, but it's impossible to miss the way Star and TC recoil every time. They're not in the market for a third right now, that's the whole reason Skywarp is here. To keep others from being too forward and pushy. The crown prince and his fiance don't want him, because they don't want anybody.

It's probably Thundercracker that breaks first. Life has been a whirlwind since Skywarp came to them, and before he knew it his spark had melted and he'd found true joy in their companionship. He went from numbly tolerating his time at the palace to eagerly looking forward to it, had evolved from courteous, picture-perfect bowing when greeting Starscream to actually touching his fiance's arm, then grabbing it, then hugging him. His spark had never beat for anything other than his stories before, but now it lifts and feels so light in his chassis when he sees the prince's face. He loves to hear Starscream talk, loves to tell his fiance about the latest storyline plot he's working on. Whenever Starscream gives him flowers he feels like he might burst from the sheer excitement. He's come to adore every day he spends in the palace at his side, and it can only be love, right? He's never been in love before, and it feels so good.

And he also feels that warm, gooey feeling about Skywarp. Is it any wonder? He's the one who helped him discover his love for creative writing, he's the one who gave him a sliver of light that blossomed into a full sunny sky in a previously dark, unfeeling world. He has such a bright smile and kind, mischievous spark. He reads each of Thundercracker's projects and gives his honest opinions, and always regards him with friendly enthusiasm. He protects them from the touchy nobility, and on more than one occasion has announced their unplanned departure from social events that Thundercracker couldn't bear a moment longer. He's like their savior, a guardian angel if such a concept were to exist on Cybertron, and TC can't help but love him with all his spark just as he does Starscream.

But... Skywarp doesn't want any part of that. He doesn't want Thundercracker to love him, and does not under any circumstances want to be tied into a royal bonding. And that... it hurts. He's read many books about unrequited love but he never anticipated it would hurt so badly. The night he comes to the startling realization that he loves them, both of them, he spirals into a panicked despair. He can have Starscream and that's a wish that is all but guaranteed to come true, but Skywarp... no. He can't have Skywarp, they can't have Skywarp, they will never have Skywarp. Starscream had promised him that they would entertain no thoughts of marriage, and Thundercracker has ever intention to uphold that promise. Forcing him into a contract would earn them no love, only resentment and detestation. He resolves to lock his feelings away and never let them see the light of day, but it makes interactions with Skywarp so much harder. He fears that, if the courtesan were to find out, he'd get the wrong idea and flee from Vos forever. After all, if the prince's fiance fancies him, then surely a marriage contract would soon be stuffed dkwn his throat. He can't stand the thought of Skywarp leaving them, so instead preemptively pulls away.

After the realization, Thundercracker almost seems to regress. When he is next delivered to the palace, his face is gloomy and dark once more. His wings are low, his optics are dim. He greets them cordially, and doesn't look at Skywarp when greeting him. They're both concerned, and more than a week passes with the unshakeable cloud still looming over his helm. He tries to hold the purple seeker at arm's length, to beat back those warm feelings and internally commanding himself to stop. 'Don't torment yourself with this, it's impossible so stay away from him. Spare yourself the sparkache.'

TBC

[lfghughes]

could you do hits different w trevor but he’s the one throwing up on the street

a/n: i did this song with jack hughes last week so i tried to make it a little different. hope you like it!

warnings: alcohol, vomiting

Trevors P.O.V

This was not how you were expecting to feel. It had been your fault that you two had broken up or well ended things because you weren’t her boyfriend that was the reason you had gotten into a fight. You had made a big thing about how you didn’t want a relationship, weren’t ready for one and the commitment that came with it. It was dumb. She clearly knew that it was just excuses and she made it clear she wasn’t here just to be entertainment.

It hadn’t really hit until a few weeks later that you did miss her a little. You tried sending texts asking to hang out but they were all ignored. You haven’t tried the whole apologizing thing but you still weren’t sure what you wanted. Instead you went out to a bar, took shots with strangers and had a good time. Or tried to.

Once the bar started playing the song you two had chosen as your song, you needed to go to the bathroom. Splashing some cold water on your face, you took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. You had way too much to drink and the only thing on your mind was her. You decided to check your phone and look at her instagram. There was a story posted from hours earlier and in it was some random guy who you didn’t know.

Stumbling out of the bathroom, you found your way outside. The fresh air was essential but your stomach rolled over with all the alcohol and next thing you knew you were throwing up on the street. Great, your night was fantastic. You needed to fix this. You called a cab and found your way to her place, knocking on the door as you waited for a response.

Readers P.O.V

“Trevor, what the hell. Do you know what time it is?” You asked the boy in front of you who looked disheveled and smelled like a bar. Meanwhile you were in your pajamas. “I messed up, I messed up so bad.” He started and you tried your best to not comfort him. You’re the one who should be upset right now. “You know how they say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone? That’s me right now. I already can’t stop thinking about you but then I saw you with that dude and I just…I was wrong.”

You shut the door behind you, stepping out into the cool air fully. “What dude? Wait, my friend on my story?” Not that it was really any of his business but you were very much not romantically involved with the guy from your story. “Trevor, I told you I don’t want to just be here for entertainment. I want something serious.”

“And that’s what I want. I didn’t realize it at the time but everything about us is different. Everything about you hits different and I didn’t realize that until I didn’t have you. Please I’m begging you to give me another chance.” You thought over his words and you watched him carefully as he pleaded with you. “How about we talk it over in the morning once you’re sober? Make sure this is what you want.” You were hesitant on trusting him but you did want to give him another shot. “It’s what I want but we can do that.”

[gunsatthaphan]

🏆 𝒯𝑜𝓅 𝟣𝟢 𝑜𝒻 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟤 💫

a few anons have requested this and also I was in the mood so here are my Top 10 BLs of 2022 (only including the ones that finished this year). Also I have posted more lengthy reviews for each of these shows already so I’m gonna try and keep it short lol. 

not much to say here, if you know me and my blog then you know how much this show and firstkhao have taken over my life this year lmao. I loved the story so much and everything about it felt so genuine all the way through. FK did an incredible job at actually becoming their characters and I was so in awe of their portrayal. They made something incredible out of a little budget and that’s why I cherished it so much. The plot wasn’t perfect, there were holes and weaknesses but firstkhao, paired with the watching experience, made it perfect for me. 13/10. 

this one gets the award for most underrated show of the year lmao. I loved it so much. like.... what an actual masterpiece?? the cinematography was stunning and the whole concept was so captivating. jimmysea delivered big time and while there were some draggy parts in the middle, the script ultimately proved itself to be absolutely outstanding. Sadly it didn’t get the attention it deserved. 

OOF. I mean. How can I not include this mess of a project lmao (affectionate). was the script oscar-worthy? no. did it make a lot of sense? nah. but did I have the time of my life watching it? hell ya. The craze that surrounded this show was insane and it made the whole thing 10x better lmao. It was hilarious, the characters were likable and the chemistries were fire from every couple involved. It was the watching experience that made me put this as my no.3 because I had a blast.

This was such a nice surprise for me because I wasn’t in the mood for another KBL after the disaster that was To My Star 2 lmao but this was absolutely amazing. The script was genius and so was the entire production quality. This was the first show I saw with the 2 leads as I didn’t watch Kissable Lips but I was very pleasantly surprised by their chemistry. I would love to see them in more stuff in the future!  

GOD. This show has my whole heart lmao. I would consider it a guilty pleasure though because it’s definitely not for everyone. But it hit the nail right on the head for me. It was SO adorable and SO hilarious and I have a huge weak spot for kaownah and turbo because they are just so lovely together. Lots of crack but the best kind lmao. Perfect. 

🥺🥺 what an absolute gem of a show this was. A+ comedy and also the perfect proof that you can actually make something out of what seems like the most basic bl plot ever lol. But what they made of it was amazing. MekKim were super entertaining, also Lee and Park had no business being the most adorable couple I’ve ever seen??? sickening. I love them so much. The setup was super nice and it plays with several bl clichés in a very cunning way. Loved it!!!! 

YES I LOVED THIS!!!!!! This show polarized a lot when it aired, mostly because of the body swap plot and also the disney antics lol and tbh I was expecting to agree with the critical opinions as I don’t like body swap tropes but I was surprised by how much I loved it. How they handled the plot was funny and adorable, plus the whole roadtrip theme and all the sceneries were so nice! And needless to say you can never go wrong with EarthMix. they always deliver and especially Mix’s acting left a big impression with me.

This show never got a lot of attention and most reviews were not good but guess what I disagree kfjdghfd. I loved it so much. The dynamic between the mains was fantastic and with so much cuteness it made me sick dfkjghf. The power of this show lies in its minimalism for me, there were so many small endearing things and everything felt 100% natural. Also they were one of the few pairings in a KBL that actually felt like a realistic couple lol. Han Gi Chan was outstanding and considering this was Holland’s acting debut, he did a very decent job as well. Also the cinematography? stunning. I went in with zero expectations and came out with teary heart eyes lol. 

I was fairly excited for this one as it was Joong’s GMMTV debut and I was not disappointed. It doesn’t hold up with some of gmm’s other highlights this year but I liked it!!! It relied a lot on JoongDunk’s chemistry which I’m not mad about though. They’re really good together. The rest of the cast was also top-notch with an A+ friend group lol. The plot wasn’t super elaborate but once again, the watching experience did it for me lol. 

I liked this one a lot!!! It was the first KBL that I thoroughly enjoyed since Light On Me and it was so much fun to watch!! The chemistry between the leads was top-notch and even though it doesn’t quite hold up with some other KBLs for me, I still wanted to put it on my list because that’s what it deserves lol. 

thank you 2022 for giving us good gay food lmao. here’s to an even better 2023!! ✨

[sailorstarr-chan4]

40 Day Anime Challenge 2023 Edition - Day 40: Anime that changed you the most

Inuyasha

Okay this is like..... suuuuuuper late, but I have a Lot of Thoughts jsdbfkdsfbsd

Most of my followers on here know that for a hot minute, Inuyasha was my #1 fandom. On ff.net, it still has the highest number of fic faves on my account, and the majority of the fics I've written are for, you guessed it, Inu-freaking-yasha.

The more anime and manga I consume, the more apparent Inuyasha's flaws become, but I still look back on it fondly. The characters are memorable, the music is top-notch, and the story, though a mess, is still entertaining and a fantastic premise. There are so many gems in the series, both the manga and anime.

There are a LOT of anime and manga series that stuck with me over the years, and though Vampire Knight is probably the better fit because it introduced me to the world of anime/manga as a whole (while ALSO remaining my #1 favorite manga series), I ultimately chose Inuyasha this time around solely for one reason: THE FANDOM.

I credit two major fandoms for getting me into fanfiction: Frozen and Inuyasha. Honorable Mention is Harry Potter, but that one barely counts because it took me YEARS to accept HP fanfic as a whole, whereas I fell down the Frozen and Inuyasha rabbit holes fairly easily.

Frozen got the ball rolling, but Inuyasha became the avalanche.

The longest fics I ever read are for Inuyasha, the longest being over a MILLION WORDS. The first fics I wrote were for Inuyasha. Nearly HALF of all my 1,134 favorited fics on ff.net are for Inuyasha.

When I officially started writing more fics in 2017 and "joined" the fandom, I learned how to "be in a fandom" for the first time. I learned about balancing my ship opinions versus others, I learned about my own internalized Purity Culture tendencies, I wrote soooo much InuKag smut and was inspired to write/read more, but I also learned, eventually, to have boundaries and to curate my own experience, regardless of what "the masses" wanted.

I made friends, and even though we don't talk as much anymore, I still fondly remember the madness of the early Discord days lol XD @keichanz, @eternalnight8806-3, @thunderpot, @clearwillow, @dawnrider, @meggz0rz, @britonell, @mamabearcat, @cammysansstuff, @morikothehalfangel, @amostsovereignlady, etc (plus many others that I cannot find their blogs anymore) just know this: I remember our chaotic chats fondly and hope y'all are doing well ❤

This series was one of my earliest and more intense "SQUEEEEE"ing over my ship, my frustrating yet fulfilling journey of loving and hating the anime simultaneously lmao, and my biggest and most influential foray into online fandom. I would have not have returned to it if it wasn't so dearly important to me, flaws and all. ❤

I FINALLY FINISHED THIS DAMN CHALLENGE, @risingfire17-the-weeb-trash!!!! I'M FREEEEEEEE!!!

[angelofrainfrogs]

Going Back: Ch. 1

~Coauthored by @zeitghest~

Fandom(s): Five Nights At Freddy’s: Security Breach

Description: Things are looking up for Gregory. After putting the soul of a formerly-immortal killer to rest, he and his new family can finally begin their lives anew. Sure, Gregory might have been cursed with mysterious Remnant in exchange for being involved in this mess—not to mention his caretakers consist of sentient robots and ghosts… But there’s no doubt that the bond they share is unbreakable. They love him, and he in turn. 

All in all, life is finally starting to go right for once. 

…Unfortunately, true peace is a hard-won battle. There are other things to contend with besides William’s decrepit soul, and Gregory will learn that his role in the lives of the Aftons and Emilys is far greater than anyone could’ve imagined. 

Rating: T

Read on Ao3

Hello and welcome! :) This is Part 2 of The Wires that Bind Us Series; although you don’t have to read the first part to enjoy this fic, it’s highly recommended to help contextualize the plot of this story and others moving forward. Here’s a quick summary of prior events:

While hiding out in the Pizzaplex, Gregory is discovered by Glamrock Freddy and an old animatronic known as The Puppet. Turns out the robots aren’t all they seem—possessed by children of Fazbear Entertainment’s original founders, Gregory winds up involved in a quest with Charlie Emily and Michael Afton to take down the digitized but still murderous soul of William. Along with some help from other spirits that linger in the burned-up diner down below, they managed to extract William from the Glamrock Bonnie suit he was using as a new body and trap him in a video game, which they subsequently destroyed.

The journey wasn’t easy, though. Along the way Gregory was injected with Remnant, the full ramifications of which are still unknown. What he is sure of however is that through the trauma he’s gained a new family that cares for him better than anyone—including a dad in the form of Glamrock Freddy. You see, human souls are a powerful thing; when bonded to an animatronic they can leave a lasting impression. Thanks to Henry Emily’s fantastic engineering, Charlie, Michael, and Freddy were able to possess lifelike androids to start their lives over anew.

Where we left off in Part 1, the quartet had just left the Pizzaplex to head for a nearby hotel and get some rest after their adventure.

***

It's going back, back, back, back They've been through this before It's going back, back, back, back The final page of the lore The sound of cheer The need for fear The souls of the kids are free Rewind the tears

~Going Back by Kyle Allen Music~

It was a fairly large hotel. It made Charlie wonder how many people visited this town nowadays, what with the Mecca of Fazbear Entertainment standing tall and proud as its most notable landmark. Last she checked, this town had a population of a little over 10,000. Not a whole lot, but not a small number by any means. Sammy's draw of tourists had done wonders for the family businesses.

“We should order room service as soon as we check in. Gregory's going to need to build his strength back with something that isn't a pizza-flavored slushee,” Charlie pointed out, waiting before crossing the street. While she was sure Freddy knew not to linger in the road, Charlie grasped onto his free hand regardless to make sure he and Gregory were still trailing along.

The parking lot looked pretty full, and they approached with only Michael's shopping bag of clothes as their luggage. At the front desk, popping gum in his mouth sat a concierge manager typing things into the computer, digits nimbly pounding away at the keys.

“Be with you in a moment!” the overworked college student called, finishing his email. Getting up from the desk and walking towards the quartet, he put on his best customer service smile. “What can I do for you folks?”

Despite him never having interacted with another human outside the comparatively small bubble of the Pizzaplex, Freddy took it upon himself to respond. Beaming down at the young boy, he announced: “Hello! My family and I require a room to stay in—preferably one with 'room service,' as we are quite hungry.”

Michael bit back a groan. God, he could see it now—he thought catching Charlie up to speed with things would take a while, but it seemed like Freddy was going be the biggest problem. Quickly stepping in, Mike moved in front of the redhead to catch the concierge's attention.

“Sorry, ignore my—uncle. He’s... not from around here,” Michael said, reaching into his pocket to retrieve Sam’s wallet. Offering the boy an apologetic smile, he clarified: “We need a room for four people, at least 5 nights with the possibility of an extended stay. It doesn't have to the biggest; we don't mind sharing beds. Just preferably no smaller than queen-sized—two kings would be great, if you have it.”

“Do you guys have ping-pong or air hockey here?” Charlie asked, officially overloading the poor kid with too many questions.

His eyes flicked between the three of them, blinking. “Uh... Y-Yes! Yep, there's actually one available family vacation suite! That's a bathroom, two king beds with a kitchen and full amenities, too.”

The concierge leaned over and grabbed a pamphlet, handing it over to Charlie who presented it to the rest of the group.

“With room service, plus full spa, gym, and arcade access, that's about $250 a night,” he added, doing his best to answer all of their questions.

Charlie tried to hide her shock at how expensive things were. Sammy did say they could use his credit card on anything after all... And the room looked nice. Gregory deserved a good spot to be in and relax. 

“We'll take it,” Michael said quickly, not in the mood to haggle. He was just happy they'd found something so spacious—he thought with all the cars in the parking lot, they'd have to settle for a simple room with just two beds, and a bathroom, maybe a couch if they were lucky. Though Sammy would probably appreciate a cheaper price, Mike knew he'd understand them wanting to indulge after so long being cooped up and handed over the credit card. “You can put the tab on here.”

Freddy, who'd only been exposed to the exorbitantly hyped-up prices in the Pizzaplex, had no frame of reference for what was considered expensive. He appreciated Michael taking charge, hanging back next to Charlie's side as Mike and the concierge moved to the front desk to get all their information and secure the room. 

“Need anyone to take your luggage, Mr...?” the young man began to ask. Taking the credit card from the brunette, he couldn’t help but notice the distinctive name emblazoned on the metal rectangle.

Samuel Emily.

Anyone who lived in that area of Hurricane knew the Emilys. The boy then felt sort of stupid for not recognizing Mr. Emily's family—even if he couldn't quite recall ever seeing this group before.

“Nope! We don't have much,” Charlie responded, reassuring him with a grin. With that succinct answer,  after charging the card the manager would put their names in as Emily for the time being.

“Uh—okay then, you’re all set! Here are your room keys, guys, and your recreational passes,” he explained, pointing to the number on the keycard. “Room service will call after 20 minutes; give you some time to get settled. Have a nice day, and enjoy your stay!”

“You have a wonderful day as well!” Freddy called over his shoulder as Michael firmly took his free hand and urged him towards the elevators.

Mike couldn't help but roll his eyes, a smile lifting his mouth at Freddy's endearing friendliness. At least that hadn't changed.

Before long they'd ridden the elevator up to the 7th floor and found themselves in front of room 717. The door opened with nothing more than a delicate press of the keycard against its sensor lock, and Michael led the way into the suite.

“Oh, hell yeah!” he exclaimed, staring around the room in wonder. True to the concierge's word, there was a little kitchen and sitting area at the end of the short entrance hallway they stood in.

Michael wasted no time kicking his shoes off, dropping the bag of clothes, and walking into the space, taking note of the two doors coming off of the sitting area that led to the bedroom and bathroom. The bathroom itself was shaped like an L and also had two doors so it could be accessed from either the bedroom or the main area, per whatever suited the guests' fancy. Michael spun in a slow circle, his arms spread out wide. “I can definitely get used to this place.”

Charlie had noticed on their way through the halls that things looked notably different from the last hotel she remembered staying in nearly fifty years ago. The style of interior design had changed from those homey patterns to something more minimalistic over the decades. Gone were the days of strange patterns and bright colored dishes, replaced by a more neutral palate. If asked, Charlie would argue and say that it seemed a lot more boring to look at.

But how could she really complain when their room had a flat television?

She was awestruck, and looked around Michael and Freddy at their temporary living space. It wasn't long before she found the bedroom and flung herself onto the nearest mattress. She sunk in almost immediately and stretched her arms out to the ceiling.

“It's like laying on a pile of angel hugs...,” Charlie groaned, feeling the stress she didn't know was in her back melt away the longer she reposed on the top of her bed's comforter. “Come on, Freddy! Put Gregory to bed and take a load off!”

While Michael went to explore the kitchenette and bathroom, Freddy followed after Charlie. At first Gregory didn't want to move, frowning as his father's warmth was suddenly taken away when Freddy detached the limp grip around his neck... Although this stopped as soon as Gregory felt the plush mattress underneath him. If they'd thought he was in deep sleep before, it was nothing compared to what the exhausted kid was about to experience as he instantly passed out again.

Freddy had set Gregory on the second bed, so in order not to disturb him he went over to where Charlie lay. He made sure to take his shoes off as he'd seen Michael do at the door, choosing not to comment on the fact that Charlie hadn't done so herself. She was clearly overwhelmed, and Freddy had to admit he was a bit stunned himself—not at the technology or the way anything looked, but simply for the fact that it was such a foreign environment to anything he was used to.

No longer would he have to enter “sleep mode” in a charging pod. Severely underestimating the cushiness of the comforter underneath him, Freddy promptly fell back onto the mattress with a surprised gasp, landing with his head on the pillow right next to Charlie's.

“Oh... this is very comfortable!” he commented with a laugh, turning his face towards her as he rested his hands on his stomach. 

Charlie opened an eye, glancing over to Freddy as his weight shifted where she laid on the bed and rolled into her friend slightly. There, she would proceed to ask Freddy a question. “Have you ever actually slept before?”

Surely, sleep mode was similar, Charlie thought. But could Freddy dream? That was the important question.

Gregory certainly dreamt. Looking over at the tiny kid curled in the middle of the mattress would tell you that instantly. He twitched every now and then, having an active dream—maybe one where he was running...

“It's really easy. You just close your eyes and stop thinking of anything,” Charlie guided. Though she always slept better with music, Charlie wouldn't be needing it tonight. The excitement and terror of one action-packed weekend was enough for Charlie's mind to cringe at the thought of staying awake any longer. While Charlie was a side sleeper, choosing to roll and face Freddy as she shut her eyes, Gregory was in a tightly wound ball, laying on his right side and holding himself as he dreamed.

“I have never truly slept as you have,” Freddy replied, then listened to Charlie's instructions. He soon shut his eyes as well, staring at nothing but blackness.

And then he waited.

And waited.

He tried to think of nothing, but in doing so he was thinking about not thinking, which put Freddy in a catch-22. Still keeping his eyes closed, his brow furrowed slightly as he asked: “How do you... think of nothing?”

“You just don't,” Michael piped up unhelpfully, appearing in the doorway. Their one bag of clothes was slung over his shoulder again as he leaned casually against the frame, observing his family either passed out or on the verge of doing so. He too needed a rest, but first he really wanted to take a nice, hot shower and wash off all the gunk and grime from the past few days.

“Here, I found the room service menu on the coffee table,” he said, throwing the laminated booklet towards the bed where it landed next to Charlie's back. “I'm going to take a shower—you guys can handle it if they call, right?”

It was a simple task, answering the phone and giving them an order Gregory might like to eat, but Freddy and Charlie's unfamiliarity with everything made Michael a bit nervous—especially since the only one besides him who could help looked like she’d already drifted off. 

To Mike’s surprise, Charlie opened her eyes to look at him standing across the room. With a grin, she reclined her arms behind her head. With the sheer technological advances of these androids’ existence, she was sure her father designed them to be waterproof. Even so, she was glad Michael seemed more than ready to test it out first.

“Sure,” Charlie replied with a shrug. “Don't worry so much; we'll be fine. We'll order Gregory something simple and a few other things for the room. By the way, if you happen to figure out if these android bodies need to use the bathroom, could you give me a heads-up?”

Charlie was half-joking. She hadn't exactly had the urge to go, but she couldn't help thinking about all that food she ate. It must go somewhere, right? Or maybe it just gets burned to make fuel inside her?

Charlie felt like the only thing these robotic forms were missing was an instruction manual...

“Will do,” Michael replied with a roll of his eyes. He fished around in the bag for a new set of dark wash jeans and tank top, this one black with a simple neon logo for The Fazbear Band emblazoned on the front. New outfit obtained, Mike dropped the bag on the floor and headed to the bathroom.

Like Charlie, he had a suspicion that their bodies were converting things they ate into fuel. How, he had no idea—that was another question for Henry the next time they met up.

After locking the bathroom doors, Michael was quick to throw off his dirty clothes, cringing at the messy pile on the floor they made. The group would definitely need to do a shop outside the Pizzaplex to invest in other items besides shirts and pants…

Michael wanted to take the hottest shower he could physically stand, letting the burning water eat away at his years of tightly-wound anxiety. However, he also didn’t want to damage any internal systems in this robotic body, so he opted for a temperature best described as “pleasantly warm.” As he scrubbed the dried blood out of his hair, he could feel his stress going down the drain right along with the crimson water.

While Michael commandeered the bathroom, Freddy and Charlie perused the room service menu.

“What do you think Gregory will like?” Freddy asked, curious of her opinion. “I would prefer it to be somewhat healthy, if possible…”

“Healthy... Hm...” Charlie looked over the kids menu. It was recommended for children 12 and under, so that seemed appropriate for him. It couldn't hurt to get Gregory more than one thing, considering how fast that kid ate. She wondered if a growth spurt was right around the corner. “Okay, hear me out. We get him this peanut butter and jelly smoothie, plus the broccoli mac and cheese. And a pulled pork sandwich?”

Charlie was initially going to get him the chicken nuggets, but she was afraid it wouldn't be enough to hold him over until dinner. She figured it was also about time to get him back on a healthy eating schedule. Just then the phone rang, prompting Charlie to jump up and answer it before the incessant noise woke up Gregory.

“Think about something you want to eat, okay, Freddy?” she said, answering the phone in a sing-song tone before reciting their order so far. She was glad to see Gregory was still asleep, out like a light and dead to the world in the middle of his bed.

“Me?” Freddy blinked down at the menu. Right; in this body he should be able to consume food as well. He roamed over all the options, not afraid to admit with a small laugh: “It is a bit overwhelming, if I am honest!”

Still, Charlie was expecting an answer. Freddy would like to just try a bit of Gregory’s food—and he was sure the boy wouldn’t mind sharing with him—but he knew Gregory needed all of it to make up for the nutrition deficit he’d been suffering for far too long. He really was a tiny kid for 12 years old…

“I suppose I will try a cheeseburger?” Freddy said it as more of a question. Burgers were quite popular at the Pizzaplex and Freddy had always wondered what the fuss was about. 

Charlie nodded, holding her hand over the receiver as she listened to Freddy's request. “One cheeseburger with all the fixin’s, please—uh, medium rare!”

She figured that was a safe bet. That’d been her dad’s usual order if she remembered correctly, so perhaps Freddy would like it, too.

“Could I also get a 24 piece basket of the hot wings, bone-in?” Charlie curled the phone cord around her fingers, walking back towards the living space as to not disturb Gregory. She thought for a moment of ordering champagne, then decided against it. It would be nice to celebrate, but knowing Gregory, he'd try to get into the bottle and drink some for himself. “20 minutes? Solid, thank you... Yep, you have a good day, too.”

Oh man, she was adjusting to talking to people again. After hanging up the receiver, Charlie quickly jumped back onto her side of the bed before reaching over and hugging Freddy.

“Dude—you're gonna love burgers,” she assured him, almost excited to watch Freddy take a bite from his first meal.

“I am eager to try one!” Freddy replied with a grin, maneuvering his arm from underneath Charlie to wrap it around her back. He held her loosely as she hugged onto his torso, thinking back on how far they’d come from their initial, confused meeting in the ball pit.

Despite the strange circumstances, even back then they’d gotten along perfectly, becoming fast friends in a matter of hours. Perhaps, subconsciously, they knew they were destined to stick together for a long time.

About five minutes after Charlie ended the phone call, Mike emerged from the bathroom. He looked fresh and clean, hair a wet, slightly wavy mess as he’d decided to give it a brief towel dry and let the air do the rest. He was quick to jump on the bed next to Charlie, smushing her into a sandwich between himself and Freddy.

“So, what are we talking about?” he asked cheerfully, completely inserting himself into whatever bonding time the others were having.

Freddy could only chuckle at this, understanding Michael’s want to be close to them even if he had an interesting way of showing it. After all he’d been through, it was refreshing—and relieving—for Freddy to see the man's true personality peek through without constant anxiety pushing it down.

“Oh, you know,” Charlie began, playfully nudging her old friend as he scooted in closer. “Just talking about how much you smell. Yikes, dude; you sure you actually stood under the water in there?”

She shot a grimace at Freddy, which lasted around half a second before Charlie burst into twinkling laughter. Ignoring Michael’s offended scoff, she told him: “I ordered both of us hot wings, by the way; hope you don't mind.” 

It was a strange dynamic they all shared. From Charlie's almost reserved demeanor when they first met to her now openly involving Freddy when she clowned on her friend, the three of them had certainly come far. The days of hiding in backrooms and away from the light were over.

“Oh my god… hot wings?!” Michael draped himself over her shoulders with a dramatic gasp. “Charlie Emily, you know me so well.”

“I take it you are a fan of that dish?” Freddy laughed, watching as Charlie tried in vain to push away Michael’s dead weight as he practically rag-dolled on her, grinning all the while.

“That and a good old-fashioned burger; those were some of my favorites,” Michael replied, and Freddy’s eyes widened in pleasant surprise.

“Well, what a coincidence! Charlie ordered me a burger as well—you are more than welcome to have a bite.”

“I’m taking you up on that for sure.” Mike gave Freddy a rather lackluster thumbs, attention now focused on bothering Charlie. He had a lot of years to make up for, after all.

Charlie effectively had her arms pinned as Michael rolled over her, essentially using her as a pillow. He totally ignored her as she attempted to wiggle from beneath him while he had his conversation with Freddy, but without the use of her arms there was no throwing him off easily.

“Are you comfy yet?” she asked sarcastically. Squished lightly between her two friends, she managed to screw one arm out from under Mike and poke his ribs with a bony finger.

Gregory was beginning to stir at the sound of fun. It was the oddest thing, he felt as though he'd gotten a full night’s sleep—though he was sure it still couldn’t be that late in the day. He almost felt jealous as he watched his family interact without him, but there wasn’t anything to stay mad at. Gregory would get up slowly, hoping to get a drop on them and ambush his family where they all hung out casually on the bed.

“I was, until my pillow stabbed me in the ribs…,” Michael grumbled, finally rolling off Charlie to lay on his back. He scrunched one leg up, hooking the other over his knee as he locked his hands behind his head. He could definitely still use a legit rest, but the shower seemed to give him a small burst of energy—enough to have trouble sitting still for a little while longer, at least.

Michael may not have noticed Gregory sneaking towards them, but Freddy had a second sense when it came to his son. As Charlie and Mike playfully bickered, Freddy’s ears perked up at the muted padding of little shoes against carpet. For a moment he ignored this, acting like he was completely unaware of Gregory’s approach as he laughed softly along with the others. However, just as Gregory reached Freddy’s bedside in preparation to strike the redhead acted fast.

Whipping around, Freddy was quick to snatch him under the arms and hoist him into his lap, hugging him close. “Hello, superstar! I am glad you could join us! How are you feeling?” 

Gregory squawked as he was lifted, unable to mask the smile on his lips. Other than his pale eyes, there didn’t appear to be anything different about him—no major change in health from before the nap. Thank goodness.

“Better! I feel great, actually,” he laughed out, content despite his plan not exactly working. He leaned in, hugging Freddy around the chest as he took in his surroundings. “This hotel room’s pretty sweet!”

When he’d left that horrendous foster home a while ago, Gregory knew one of the things he’d miss most was sleeping in a real bed. Though he’d had some respite in Freddy’s room this past weekend, the itchy carpets of the Pizzaplex and hard flooring could only be comfortable for all of three minutes.

“I got you a big lunch to get your strength back, kiddo,” Charlie said, turned on her side again now that Michael quit using her like a backrest.

“We are staying in a family vacation suite,” Freddy added, gesturing towards the doorway leading to the main area. “As well as these extremely comfortable beds, we have our own kitchen and sitting area, and full spa, gym, and arcade access.”

He was quoting the concierge now, understanding the concept of an arcade perfectly but curious as to what the gym and spa entailed. He could make educated guesses of course, which weren’t too far off—he knew gyms were meant for humans to work out in and spas were meant to relax.

“Arcade?!” Gregory asked, surprised to know there was something he’d enjoy at this hotel. Well—besides from the free meals and beds.

“After you eat,” Charlie reminded him gently. Someone had to disappoint him a little, and she knew Freddy didn't enjoy telling his son no. Though as his big sister, Charlie could burst his bubble all she liked to a certain degree.

“We’re going to max out your poor brother’s credit card at the end of this, Charlie,” Michael mused, turning on his side to face the others and resting his head on his palm. He grinned up at Gregory, happy to see that he did in fact look chipper than earlier. “But yeah, we’ve got a bunch of food on the way—apparently your dad’s going to try a burger.”

Gregory's eyes widened at that, and he eagerly patted Freddy’s shoulders. “Oh man—you're gonna love it!”

All this talk of food made Gregory's stomach growl loudly. The lack of a proper diet was beginning to take its toll. If only he still had that blue ice cream cake, he thought. He could fill up on that right away. 

As if on cue, there was a hard knock at the door as an unseen staff member called out: “Room service!”

“I’ve got it,” Michael assured, launching himself off the bed and heading for the front door. Opening it revealed a huge tray piled high with food, which he immediately brought inside with a careful balancing act. Charlie really had gone all out with Gregory’s lunch…

The others made their way over as Michael set the food on the kitchen counter. When Gregory tried to peer up and see their spread, Mike told him: “Looks like you’ve got a sandwich, some Mac and cheese, and… a smoothie?” Eyebrows furrowed curiously, he picked up the drink and read the label on the side. “PB&J flavored… huh. Mind if I take a sip? Thanks.”

Without waiting for an answer Mike took a loud slurp of the drink, his face shifting through an array of emotions as he processed the weirdness of it.

“Michael…,” Freddy chided gently, though he couldn’t fault him for being intrigued. Admittedly, now that he could eat Freddy wanted to try everything on the counter too.

Gregory laughed at his reaction. The smoothie was a mix of grapes, strawberry yogurt, and peanut butter. It tasted too sweet to be good for you. Yet it must have some nutritional value if it had fruit, right?

“Oh man, is it like the pizza slushee?” Gregory leaned over, snatching his smoothie out of his big brother's grasp. Immediately, Gregory went through similar stages of grief to Michael after taking a sip. It had an odd texture with the various seeds—he was almost positive this yogurt was just mixed with strawberry preserves to make it even sweeter. After processing what’d just assaulted his taste buds, he held the smoothie up to Freddy.

“Try this—” Gregory suggested without giving his verbal opinion. He didn't want to influence his dad’s decision to drink the odd smoothie more than his face already had.

Freddy took the smoothie, visually analyzing it before hesitantly putting the straw to his lips. He took the smallest of sips, more so trying to get used to the sensation of drinking before he could focus on the flavor itself. He swirled the smoothie in his mouth, giving the flavors and textures a moment to process before swallowing it down. The corners of his lips quirked up and down of their own accord, his expressive face unable to settle on how he felt. Meeting Gregory’s inquisitive gaze, all he could say was: “It is… odd.”

Meanwhile, Charlie popped open the large container of hot wings, its spicy aroma wafting over the table. Luckily they’d been given an array of dipping sauces along with a few vegetables. Charlie figured she’d end up sharing those veggies with Gregory, as her and Michael were likely just going to pig out on the platter of chicken wings. “I could cry, these look so good...”

Michael joined Charlie at the table, enticed by the mouthwatering scent of chicken. They each picked up a wing, clinking them together as if they were glasses before taking a bite.

“Oh my fu—reaking god…,” Michael groaned, curbing his swear at the last second when Freddy’s eyes snapped to him. It seemed like the former bear’s patience for cursing was at its end, now that he had time to worry about that sort of thing. Mike immediately scarfed down the rest of the chicken wing and deposited the bone on the empty side of the container. “I missed food so much…”

“Right?!” Charlie said, discarding a wayward bone. This hotel’s kitchen didn’t mess around with the wings. Satisfied for the moment, Charlie wiped her fingers off—now more attentive towards getting Gregory his sandwich and side dish. After she set Gregory’s plate at the table, Charlie retrieved and set Freddy’s burger down as well.

“I can’t believe I was fine with not eating for like forty years—never doing that again, that’s for sure,” Charlie scoffed, going in for a second spicy morsel.

Gregory wasted no time. Like a feral beast, he dug into his bowl of gooey homemade macaroni and cheese. The dish had been baked over with spiced bread crumbs, its broccoli snapping with roasted flavor as he munched on his pasta. It felt good to eat a dish with some vegetables in it. While Gregory's deathly pallor hadn't changed from the meal, he seemed more lively and aware with each bite. 

Satisfied that Gregory was enjoying his food, Freddy picked up his burger. Again, he conducted a visual examination before digging in, taking note of “all the fixin’s” that Charlie ordered. Then he took a tentative bite, placing the rest of the burger back in its container while he chewed experimentally. His bright eyes widened as the satisfyingly greasy flavor washed over his tongue, and instead of giving a verbal opinion he simply picked the food right back up and took another bite.

“Good news: Freddy likes burgers, everyone!” Michael announced, though his words were muffled as he spoke through a mouthful of chicken wings.

Freddy nodded in agreement, swallowing down another few bites before offering Mike a bite. “I am sorry… Did you want some, Michael?”

“No—you’re good, big guy!” Mike laughed, shaking his head and grabbing another wing. “Enjoy your first official meal!” 

Charlie snorted, covering her mouth as she dug out a napkin from their meals and tossed it Michael's way. The sauce on his face was making her mouth burn just by looking at it. If she remembered correctly, Michael had been far better with spices than her. She was always dipping her wings into the blue cheese sauce provided and powered through despite the pain it took to clean the spicy meat from the bones.

“Yeah! It's your first time eating, so take a wing—” Charlie offered, pushing hers and Michael's platters towards Freddy a little.

While Gregory wanted to part with some food to share with Freddy, he found himself on autopilot when eating. He wasn't paying attention at all, and had quickly finished off his pasta before starting on the pulled pork sandwich Charlie so graciously chose for him. It felt nice to eat real food.

When he heard his name being called, he finally looked up. The corners of his mouth were stuck with cheese and barbecue sauce as he listened.

“Gregory—is your food really good, little man?” Charlie asked, subtly pointing out how he hadn't spoken since they began their meal.

“Mhm—” was all Gregory could answer. Both cheeks were full and he foresaw himself spitting anywhere should he actually try to talk.

Freddy quickly realized that he wasn’t a fan of messy food. The burger was bad enough, falling apart towards the end and dripping a trail of grease down his hand that he quickly stopped before it reached his sweater. Learning quickly, he pushed his sleeves up before attempting to eat a wing, although the texture of the sauce coating his fingers made him grimace slightly. It reminded Freddy of children slapping their sticky hands onto every part of his suit they could reach, covering him with unknown substances and prompting a thorough wash at the end of each day. Still, he managed a surprisingly demure bite of the chicken wing that left little residue on his mouth and had to consent it was also delicious.

Having wiped off his own face, Michael grabbed a handful of clean napkins and threw them to Gregory. Honestly, now that he’d been fed the kid probably needed a shower more than anything—it would certainly make him feel even better to put a clean outfit on over a body not already caked in grime

Gregory read Michael's mind. He was a little surprised no one had commented on the sheer unhygienic state he was in. All of his bandages, once fun and brightly saturated colors, were coated in a generous layer of filth. He was sure were he to peel back the protective plastic, the healing skin beneath would be clean and lily white.

There would be a paradox with cleaning himself off. People would see how pale he'd become, and may worry and nag his dad about the matter if they were super nosy... Then again, people were going to complain if he smelled bad, too.

With his sandwich finished, Gregory pushed his emptied containers away, asking Freddy: “Can I be excused? I need to shower or I'll catch the plague or something...”

“Of course,” Freddy replied with a nod, already starting to gather the empty containers together.

“The bag of new clothes is in the bedroom,” Michael reminded as Gregory rushed off. 

After Michael and Charlie scarfed down the rest of their wings, they helped Freddy collect the trash. Upon Freddy’s confused question of where to put things, Mike laughed and informed him that they could just return the tray to the hallway and staff would pick it up. It was interesting to figure out the little things Freddy didn’t know—Michael had to remind himself that what was common knowledge to him wasn’t necessarily as obvious to the former animatronic.

When Freddy bent to place the tray on the hallway floor, he felt Sammy’s business card crinkle in his pocket. Locking the door and returning to the living room area, he told the others: “We should call Sammy and let him know we successfully acquired a room.”

“Do you want to do the honors, Charlie?” Michael asked, watching Freddy pull the little card out of his pocket.

Charlie leaned back, the sensation of being full unusual and new all over again. While eating had given her a sort of tired demeanor, she could always talk to her brother. “Sure! Sam's probably already worried we haven't called already.”

Charlie didn't want to tell the others, but Sam had begged Charlie to stay. While she wanted to catch up with her twin, it was very clear that he wouldn't get anything done with her around to distract him. She'd return tomorrow, and the three friends could catch up—maybe reintroduce Sammy with Liz and Evan, if he was up for it.

And Sam still had to meet with his dad…

After taking the card from Freddy, Charlie wandered into the living area and dialed up his number. He voice grew dimmer as she walked, with Sammy picking up immediately.

“Hey! It's Charlie—” she started, unaware that he knew the hotel was calling him from the caller ID. Their conversation consisted of what room they were staying in, and how nice it was to be out and about again after so long.

Inside the bathroom, after Gregory dressed himself he took a good look in the mirror. Wiping away the fog from the reflective glass, he sighed deeply.

He was happy to be out of the Pizzaplex—even happier to be alive and with people who cared about him. Still, this ghastly appearance he had now just made him feel strange. It’s like he was looking at another person's face in every reflection he saw of himself. The shower didn't help with that; it couldn't wash away the effects of the Remnant on his body.

Feeling his mind grow foggy, Gregory decided to lean against the sink and stare dejectedly until his face looked normal again.

Of course, it didn’t take Freddy long to sense something amiss. After the water had been cut off for some time and the boy still hadn’t emerged from the bathroom, Freddy glanced towards the closed door with a pinched expression.

“Hey, we’re supposed to be relaxing, remember?” Michael commented, placing a hand on Freddy’s back. Despite his playful words, Mike also felt a nagging tug in the back of his mind as he remembered the last time he’d left Gregory alone in a bathroom… although he was quick to remind himself that William and his tricks were gone. Plus, Michael was in there last and hadn’t seen anything that might inject an unsuspecting child with immortality juice.

“…I should check on him,” Freddy murmured, and Mike knew not to fight him on the matter. He gave Freddy’s back a pat, then went to lounge on the couch and check out the TV, curious to see what sort of trashy shows were on nowadays. Knocking on the bathroom door, Freddy called out softly: “Gregory? It is Freddy; are you alright?” 

Gregory was stirred from this odd depersonalizing episode. Blinking out of it and looking to the door, he called beyond the sturdy wooden barrier between them.

“Combing my hair!” he lied, quickly brushing his fingers through his bangs. Gregory held it out before dropping the still wet locks of hair, in desperate need of a cut soon. “Be out in a second!”

The last thing he wanted was to worry Freddy of all people. After making himself a little more presentable, halfway tucking his tank top and not caring if it was uneven, Gregory strode from the bathroom. Charlie had since taken her call out on the balcony, the cord to the hotel phone pinched between sliding glass doors. Between Michael's flicking through endless channels, you could hear the light chime of her laughter.

Gregory smiled up at Freddy. “What's up?”

There wasn't anything wrong. He was fine.

…Well. Fine enough.

Surely the strange apprehension he felt when entering bathrooms now would go away eventually. One day he'd forget the whole fiasco with that plushie even happened, Gregory told himself.

“I was just checking in on you,” Freddy said, returning the smile. Clearly the boy had been stressing about something—Freddy could see it in his pale face and shining silver eyes. “Follow me a moment, would you?”

He led Gregory into the bedroom and closed the door, just in case he didn’t want his siblings to overhear their conversation. Freddy hoped he'd open up and tell him what was bothering him, but if not he at least wanted to assure Gregory he was always there if he wanted to talk. The poor boy had been through so many traumatic events over the past weekend, it was honestly a wonder he could still be in such high spirits. Freddy half-expected some residual shock to hit at any moment—possibly even for Michael and Charlie, too, though they had years to deal with the situation compared to Gregory’s three days.

“Sit next to me,” Freddy instructed gently as he perched on one of the beds, patting the empty spot at his side. When Gregory clambered up and got settled, Freddy ran a hand through his wet hair, pushing it out of his face. “I just wanted to let you know that you can always talk to me about anything. You have been through a lot this weekend—more so than anyone should ever have to, let alone someone so young. If there is ever something bothering you, I will listen and do my best to help in whatever way I can.”

Freddy’s words and kind expression were backed with nothing but the utmost sincerity. Of course he could talk to Freddy about anything; Gregory knew this.

But what good was talking about how he felt going to do?

Maybe this mindset—this way of approaching things—wasn't good. But Gregory felt as though it was merely his self-esteem being affected. Or... perhaps it was a side effect of the Remnant.

There was a while where Gregory thought on this. That is until he realized his father was looking at him with increasing worry. He had to say something—whether it was a cover up or the truth it didn’t matter.

“It's my face... I just don't look like me anymore. I'm still getting used to it,” Gregory admitted, unsure how important it was that his mind left his body while staring at his own reflection. He would omit this little detail for now.

“Ah.” Freddy’s expression shifted to one of understanding. “Well, I can certainly empathize to a degree—it seems like it may take us both a while to get used to our appearances.”

At this point, Freddy still hadn’t gotten a chance to really look at this new android form of him—not while he inhabited it, that is. So distracted with the rest of the world, he’d been content to catch the occasional faint glimpse of himself in a passing glass window. However, he knew Gregory’s concern came from an entirely different and darker place.

“If it is any consolation,” Freddy continued with that eye-crinkling smile of his, gently cupping one of Gregory’s cheeks in his hand. “I still think you look just like my superstar, regardless of what you might see in the mirror.”

At least they weren't going through this alone. Gregory never thought he'd ever get to feel the familial closeness and pride of being loved unconditionally. But Freddy remained his papa bear; now he just happened to look less ursine than ever.

“That helps...” Gregory replied, leaning into his touch. “I'll get over it eventually. Like you said... I just have to get used to it.” He sighed in a resigned fashion.

And hey—maybe it would help him hide better from... them.

“It's probably for the best I don't look like myself, anyway.” Gregory reached up and grasped Freddy's hand where it rested on his face, glancing away momentarily. “Then my foster parents can't find me...”

Almost imperceptibly, Freddy’s fingertips tightened against Gregory’s cheek. This was a topic he hadn’t wanted to think of just yet, but knew this was a real threat on the horizon. For all intents and purposes, Freddy had kidnapped a child. Despite the well-meaning behind his actions, he knew there was a whole slew of issues regarding that he hadn’t the first idea how to go about dealing with.

“No matter what happens, I am staying with you,” Freddy reassured, wholly confident of at least that fact. He finally moved his hand, only to pull Gregory into a tight hug. “Now, how about we get the others and check out that arcade? I am curious to see how it compares to the Pizzaplex!”

Gregory had never seen such a collection of attractions than those at the Pizzaplex. He doubted the little hotel arcade could hold a candle to the might of the gaming library Freddy’s had. Still, it was totally worth it to go and see the looks on Michael’s face when Gregory beat him at fighting games again. It was a fun distraction.

And that’s what he really needed right now. Anything to get his mind off the silver eyes in his head, and those terrifying faces of people who only loved him for the paycheck he brought with him.

***

There were a few reruns of popular shows playing on some TV channels. The 90’s hit The Immortal and the Restless was having an anniversary marathon—all twelve seasons aired two times and followed by the dramatic movie conclusion. When Charlie was done with her phone call, she couldn’t help but notice the familiar theme song playing on the high definition television.

“Oh no, what season is this?” she asked, hurrying to hang up the phone so she could scamper back towards the couch. She didn’t want to miss anymore of the show than she already had.

“Season five,” Michael replied, shifting to make room. His eyes never left the TV, even as he felt Charlie sink in next to him. “You’ve missed so much… meanwhile I’ve seen this entire show way too many times.”

Mike couldn’t even begin to count the amount of hours he’d laid motionless in front of the TV, watching crappy soap operas with reckless abandon. It’d become somewhat of a guilty pleasure over the years, especially as time went on and it became more difficult for him to actually leave his apartment. What better way to get away from the troubles of his own life than to become invested in those of fictional characters?

As Charlie settled next to Michael, Freddy and Gregory emerged from the bedroom. Noticing the pair on the couch, Freddy walked over to their side and announced: “Gregory and I are going to visit the arcade and would love for you to join us!”

“Huh?” Mike was fully invested in the vampire drama, and it took a monumental effort—and well-timed commercial break—to tear his gaze away and look up at Freddy. Once he processed what the man said though, he was quick to brighten up with an eager nod. “Oh, sure! We can definitely explore the hotel a bit.”

Good thing they were playing the marathon twice, Charlie thought, grinning as she lifted herself energetically from the couch. That way they could start at the beginning tomorrow.

“I almost forgot about the arcade!” Charlie was going to enjoy being able to play a video game without the oppressive atmosphere of the Pizzaplex ruining all their fun. Remembering the bag stashed away inside her jacket pocket, she mused: “I wonder if this prize counter will accept three rolls of game tickets from Freddy's…”

“Great question,” Gregory said, already trying to get out of the door. He reached for the knob and opened up the hallway and holding it. “We'll find out when we get there!”

***

PREVIOUS INSTALLMENT: Spend the Night ~~ Next Chapter

Looking for more? Check out the Chapter Masterlist on Tumblr!

Or check out the entire Wires that Bind Us Series on ao3!

[wordsandrobots]

What if 'Gundam SEED' was told from Flay's point of view? How would they approach it? Would it have been better?

For a long time, watching Gundam SEED, I would have said Flay was the most interesting character so I understand the appeal. 'X manipulates Y to exact revenge for Z while simultaneously being what Y needs in the moment and using this to avoid dealing with their own grief, fear and bigotry' is definitely a meaty premise.

However, this is also very clearly not the story SEED was interested in telling.

SEED is fundamentally about Kira and Athrun, and when I say 'fundamentally', I mean the show commits to the day being saved by two blokes in magic space robots who successfully blow up various bits of evil technology and/or bad guys because they're just that special. And to my mind, it's with this notion of 'special' that SEED's underlying flaw lies.

See, the Coordinators are definitively special. Textually, they can do things other humans cannot. We are told (and shown) that people are scared of them as a result. Yet this and Kira's struggles to be defined beyond his genes are obviously poor analogies for any real-world prejudice. It's 'being bullied for being smarter than everyone' logic, rather than how oppression or ethnic conflict actually work.

Basically, it's the X-Men. Hated and feared for being the brilliant ones, why oh why can't we just be treated as people.

Now, I like the X-Men. Always have. It's just, once you commit to inherent genetic 'specialness' of any kind, you back into a corner from which it is extremely hard to extricate yourself. Despite its token protests about Coordinators still needing to train, SEED presents a world where some people are just better. It embraces the idea of functional eugenics. There's nothing here of the nuance allowed by 'new-types' being analogous to new ways of thinking that emerge naturally from a changing world and are subverted or maximised by people who want to control the future. Nor does SEED turn around, as Gundam X did, and saying, nah, you're all random quirks of nature and/or incredibly lucky.

Eugenics is the explanation for why Kira is special. Someone literally bred a super-protagonist. That is a thing that is possible in this world.

So is Flay therefore right to fear the Coordinators?

Even as it presents her hatred and anger towards them as a flaw, SEED allows the possibility that the answer is 'yes'. Because it is reasonable to be wary of those who hold power over you, and the Coordinators come with power built in. Which is an exact inversion of the ways prejudice ascribes particular malevolence to groups who are, in fact, more vulnerable than people holding the prejudice.

I think a story centred on Flay over Kira would automatically be more interesting. If that's the criteria for 'better' then I must answer your question in the affirmative, straight up. The thing is, given all of the above, I can't in good conscience say it would address the stuff I don't like about what SEED is saying. As much as there are stories I love whose politics and worldview are quite at odds with my personal beliefs (currently delighted by Dracula, adore The Man Who Was Thursday, etc), I draw the line at centering lazy misconceptions about bigotry and oppression. And you would need to centre those things if you spent more time with Flay because, within the confines of what is presented in SEED as it stands, they form a significant part of her character.

If you were to take out the whole concept of the Coordinators and simply make Kira a talented member of some group responsible for killing Flay's dad, then tell the story of how she uses him as her instrument of vengeance before growing as a person and confronting the fact Kira is a person too? Sounds like a fantastic set-up with which you could do some very entertaining, very messed-up stuff.

That, however, essentially brings us back to my one big idea for improving SEED which is this: rip it up and start again.

[enixamyram]

Finished season 1 of Lone Star and honestly, it really doesn't hold a candle to the original.

I'll be honest, I'm really not too crazy about Captain Strand, otherwise known clearly as Main Character dude; aka, the guy who always has to be the hero even if it doesn't make sense and happens for no reason other than to make him look good. And I'm also not really impressed with Captain Blake either (though for her it's just something about the actress' portrayal kind of gets on my nerves).

Otherwise, I actually really do like the rest of the cast. They're all interesting and fun and I really hope we step back from Strand a bit to give them the screen time they deserve. I remember the original was amazing for every character getting big chances to shine on their own and this one... It's not really doing that quite as well.

Even the stories themselves are really weak compared to the original. Like when Buck got struck by lightning, it was heartbreaking to watch play out. Now, am I supposed to believe they didn't want us to laugh at just how stupid it was when that guy's golf club caught the lightning strike? I mean, the whole enemy fire fighter wants to bring down the team was just kind of soap opera dumb anyway. And on top of that, the fact that Strand is still able to do his job without any problems (at least not any on screen ones that aren't plot convenient) while in the middle of taking serious cancer treatment... It all just feels like a fantastical and unrealistic mess. And while it is still entertaining enough to keep watching, it's just not on the same level as the original.

Still, we'll see how season 2 goes and if it improves or just gets worse.

[collindelade]

THE FLASH REVIEW

It's been a long journey with the development of this "Flash" movie. Originally announced in 2014, DC has had plenty of hurdles to overcome to get to this moment of release. The creators' biggest problem was the controversial behavior of star Ezra Miller. There were talks of reshooting with another actor, rearranging the movie to lessen Miller's role, and even scrapping the movie as they did with "Batgirl". Miller's personal behavior aside, how is the movie controversy aside.

Ezra Miller stars as Barry Allen, the speedster superhero trying to balance his everyday life with his hero responsibilities. After stumbling across a new ability to travel back in time, Barry sets out to reshape past events to save his mother and father. By doing so, Barry messes up crucial elements that give the formally defeated General Zod (Michael Shannon) the upper hand in finishing what he set out to do in "Man of Steel". Barry must group together an alternate universe Bruce Wayne (Michael Keaton), an imprisoned Supergirl (Sasha Calle), and his younger self to fix what he started.

In an alternate timeline without the controversies with Miller and DC not in the middle of a franchise restart, "The Flash" would be the best DC Cinematic Universe movie yet! Miller truly shines in both Barry's immature new hero action and in the more emotional moments. Barry is a very likable and fun character to follow both in and out of the suit. The same way Tom Holland nails being Spider-Man, Ezra Miller is great as Flash.

Director Andy Muschietti truly is the MVP here in delivering a wildly energetic and genuinely funny film. Michael Keaton is great returning to the role that defined him and his charm shines onscreen. Sasha Calle as Supergirl is a welcomed interpretation, even when giving the least development.

Where the movie starts to crumble is with its third action and rushing crucial character turns that deserve a movie on its own. While the first two-thirds felt developed and had a good pace, the last third speeds (pun intended) along, dropping characters and the escalation of the story to get to its wrap-up ending. Here is where the controversies with Ezra Miller and the DC restart initiative cannot be ignored. The finale feels rewritten, rushed, and abandoning any sequel threads that, right or wrong, are caused by these two real-world events.

Judging solely on its entertainment values, "The Flash" delivers and is a thrill ride full of great action and crowd-cheering cameo appearances. "The Flash" is worthy to have come out, the story of Barry Allen deserves to be center stage, and Ezra Miller did a fantastic job in the role (as for returning for the role, that's a heated debate). The majority of the movie remains strongly made and well-performed. That last third does bring the whole movie down, no matter how many surprises are thrown onscreen. In an alternate universe, there is a fantastic Flash movie, but we're going to have to settle for just a good, yet flawed one in this timeline.

7.5/10