#the whole being alive shtick

[necroticmoth]

So... are we just going to ignore that Home can write...? Was no one going to mention it?? I know Home is living but,, why [and how] can they write

[thewertsearch]

TT: I thought you didn't want me to analyze your dreams anymore. TG: no but this one is too good not to put under the microscope with your whole precocious psychotherapy shtick its almost laughably symbolic of all my mental problems assuming i actually have those

TG: i just want your professional take on how many things in my dream symbolize dicks TT: We've already established that all of your dreams are packed with enough homoerotic symbolism to lift Freudian theory from the ashes of discreditation.

These two are just consistently hysterical. The Rose-Dave dynamic is seriously underrated, and even though we've seen plenty of their friendship in action, I still think we could do with more.

TG: yeah thats a given but i didnt even dream about puppets this time […] TG: it was so much more relaxing and enjoyable TG: it was about me dying repeatedly

Compared to a Cal nightmare, that's basically a holiday.

TG: i was in this dark place surrounded by this big flock of crows […] TG: there kept being these traps like i would go one way and get my head chopped off TG: or go another way and get stabbed or whatever TG: and every time i died the dream reset itself and i was standing there alive and ready to try to escape again

Subconscious anxiety about your future role as a Time Player, got it.

We’ve talked a lot about this already. Homestuck’s version of time travel is ruthless, doling out death for every misstep. It’s particularly unfair to place the timeline in Dave’s hands, since his life was already being plagued by a ruthless antagonistic force that couldn't be reasoned with.

At least this one won't hit him in the face with a puppet.

[hells-wasabii]

Character: Alastor

Type: Headcanons(X g/n reader; general)

A/N: Hi, wasabi here happy to bring my take on how a relationship with Alastor would play out.

Alastor had never been too keen on the idea of a relationship. Honestly, he never quite saw the appeal. The radio demon was even weary of his friends, not that they knew that of course. But that all changed when he met you.

At first, it was the same as all of the other demons he had met since his untimely demise. A possible means to progress in whatever plans he may hold. But you were different, weren't you? He couldn't quite place it, but you were something special. Maybe you would be of more use to him alive and free from a contract until he could figure out just what exactly it was that made you special. And that definitely made you interesting.

Speaking of interesting: When the Hazbin Hotel came to be, it was only naturally that you went along, whether you believed in the whole redemption shtick or not.

Of course, the hotelier is nothing but a gentleman, whether it be a compliment out of nowhere here, opening the door for you there, if there was an opportunity he'd take it

Though you can't hang around the radio demon without him being kinda creepy and cryptic on occasion. If you are weirded out by it, he'd try to keep it on the down low, around you at least.

Another thing to note is he would for sure be the jealous type. He wouldn't particularly like it when someone else has stolen your attention away, he does enjoy it quite a bit after all. Now, if you were to be jealous with him? Oh, he would BASK in it, outright loves it. Sometimes he might even try to make you jealous on purpose, though he doesn't usually do so maliciously, more in a comical, obvious way.

Don't expect to be surrounded by new tech either, this man has a love for the classics that's only rivaled by his care for you. He'll make a face if you try to chat him up about newer tech. Not that he doesn't care for your interests, it's more that he himself has a distaste for it, as well as the demons that are majorly behind it.

Honestly, with our lovely radio demon, he probably doesn't even realize he's grown so attached to you until someone points it out to him. Husk and Nifty definitely had a bet or something going on that Angel Dust probably got in on too.

He might even try to distance himself from you, not wanting to open himself up to weakness but by this point it is already too late. The thought of not having you around anymore left him pretty distressed, to the point that he just resigned to keep you by his side for as long as you would have him.

[raikirikiri]

big fan of obito spending so much time stalking kakashi that he saves his life a few times in the process. kakashi is key to obito’s plans, without kakashi, obito’s whole shtick explodes and suddenly he’s left with no one to punish. so kakashi can’t die. and obito knows he’s a very capable shinobi, oh boy does he fucking know it. but kakashi is also still mortal and mistakes happen and … oops! obito might’ve used kamui to push the hand about to plunge a kunai into kakashi’s back a little to the left!

or oops! kakashi is an idiot and passes out from chakra exhaustion and obito kamuis him closer to a water source/small village! it’s okay, kakashi won’t remember how he got there anyway.

obito has saved kakashi’s life on more than a few occasions and it’s only because kakashi’s suffering has to mean something. he can’t die because then obito really will be alone and everything will feel so much more dull and bleak than it already does. kakashi might be an enemy, might not understand obito if he knew he was alive, but kakashi is the only thing keeping him tethered. so he’ll look after kakashi when he can, spitefully saving his life and watching him grow and change into someone almost unrecognizable. and obito wont be able to take credit for it, at least not all of it because kakashi attributes so much of his life and his nindo to obito already but no one will know that it’s obito that’s kept him alive from the shadow of kamui.

and kakashi will sometimes feel like he’s being watched, sometimes feel like there’s a cruel god out there hellbent on keeping him alive so he can suffer and atone. he’ll look and look but he’ll never see the shell of the boy he once knew still looking after him. it makes him more than a little twitchy if he thinks about it for too long but the feel comes and goes and he learns to live with it because it doesn’t feel hostile and he can differentiate between the omnipotence and the corporeal. sometimes he manages to trick himself into thinking that it’s his old team watching him and cheering him on and it makes him be a little better. work a little harder. want to live a little more. until he remembers that living means going on without them and suddenly, he’s throwing himself into danger and yet the danger never comes and he’s still alive and he’s still being watched. he never tells anyone he’s being watched. it’ll either be taken as a threat or as him needing another psych evaluation that’ll be ignored. so he keeps it to himself and doesn’t let it drive him crazy.

it’s not until the war, until he’s facing the masked man, that the feeling goes away. and suddenly, basically in a blink of his eye, kakashi is hokage. he has two eyes of his own and life is still passing him by. the feeling is gone and it doesn’t come back, not even a little bit. not ever.

oh tragic lovers obito and kakashi, how you make my lament

[electricbathsalt]

I would like to clarify something:

My point was never that Chisaki didn’t do anything wrong, that he was innocent, or justified in any of the things he did. He’s horrible. He’s a horrible man who did horrible things.

My point was that he’s not actually any worse than the League of Villains, and that a lot of the fandom doesn’t bother properly understanding his character. So many people will say that he’s pure evil and that he was just born that way, when that’s… blatantly untrue? He clearly is a product of the environments he grew up in. You cannot convince me he would have turned out the same person had he had a different, better upbringing.

I’ve seen many people say that Chisaki is the exact same as AFO and Endeavor, while loving Shigaraki and saying he deserved better. Which is interesting, considering Chisaki is also canonically a victim of AFO, and as for with Endeavor, I’d say there’s quite a few pretty fundamental differences between the two:

One: Chisaki’s goals were not entirely for himself and his own prosperity and wants.

Two: Chisaki didn’t enter into an arranged marriage where he forced his wife to have multiple kids for the sake of his goal. It was not premeditated. Eri was dropped in his lap, and he made a plan based off of that.

Three: Chisaki was raised in the yakuza. Before Chisaki was in the yakuza, he was in one of AFO/Garaki’s orphanages, where it’s implied he was experimented on. His outlook on life, the world at large, and violence is going to naturally be extremely different from Endeavor’s due to how he was raised. Endeavor seems to have been born in a relatively regular civilian or hero family.

Four: Chisaki is half the age of Endeavor.

And I hope I don’t have to explain why Chisaki is not the same as AFO.

It’s shown that Chisaki is capable of love and care. The problem is that he never learned how to properly show those things. He never learned about the inherent value of human lives—he believes that being alive is something you must prove yourself worthy of.

Nemoto used his truth quirk on Chisaki, and Chisaki’s true feelings were that he likes Nemoto and finds his presence reassuring. Yet he doesn’t spare a second thought before killing him and fusing with him. He doesn’t exactly hesitate to put Pops into a coma, the person who he treasures most. It seems that Chisaki doesn’t equate caring about someone with not hurting them.

He doesn’t hold grudges. He doesn’t blame anyone but himself for the destruction of the Shie Hassaikai. He doesn’t care to go after Midoriya or the LOV for revenge. He seems to think violence is something expected, that it’s a given. That someone hurting you isn’t something to be mad about. People like to wave around Chisaki’s whole shtick of dehumanizing people and thinking of them as pawns, but they don’t realize that he doesn’t exclude himself from that. Yes, he likely believes himself to be the queen, but still ultimately a chess piece.

Chisaki isn’t a sadist. He’s never a jackass for the sake of being a jackass. We only “see” him smile once and firstly, we don’t even get to actually see it because it’s covered by his mask, and secondly, it’s a fake smile to try to throw Midoriya and Mirio off his trail. Yet I see people make him smile and revel in other people’s pain all the time, make him an asshole who likes tormenting people for the sake of it. That’s not Chisaki.

Chisaki is not worse than Dabi or Shigaraki. Chisaki is not “completely different” from them and ten times more evil. He is the same; he thinks how he does because of how he was brought up. He would’ve been different if his childhood was different. He is not less deserving of rehabilitation than the LOV.

Anyway. This is getting longer than I intended, so I’m just gonna cut it off there.

[swingingthehatchetnow]

You know what I find really interesting about Nerdy Prudes versus the other Hatchetfield shows?

In TGWDLM and BF, the events were set in motion by the lords in black. Wiggly and Uncle Wiley unleashed the doll unto the world, causing chaos and calamity. Pokey sent the meteor (? Is that what happened? bc that was Pokey's whole shtick) that caused the Apotheosis.

But in Nerdy Prudes, the events of the story were set in motion by Steph cheating on the quiz. Or by Pete agreeing to help Steph cheat. This could very much have been a timeline/universe where everything went right. Sure, 'right' means nerds still getting picked on, and Pete and Steph probably wouldn't've ended up together, but Max, Ruth, Richie and everyone else would still be alive. The LiB wouldn't have had to be summoned, and Grace would've never gotten her hands on the book.

What caused me to think about this is the scene with Paul and Emma. That scene happens on what would've been the day of the Apotheosis, evidenced by Pete being there, waiting for his hot choccy and Paul and Emma finally taking steps towards a relationship. Pete is now wearing a sweater instead of the suspenders he wears in TGWDLM because of his conversation with Steph. Paul is joining the neighborhood watch because of the increase in killings.

This means that Pete and Steph doomed their universe. And I think its interesting that this musical shows that, because its not just the LiB that have sway over if everything falls to shit

Pete and Steph: Disaster Couple Extraordinaire

[jaxon-exe]

Back at it again with the dp x dc prompt

(If u want to do something with it, feel free)

So this is set a looooooong time after the show. Sam and Tucker r now ghost (they do look like teenagers but wether that’s bc that’s how they want to look or if they died young is up to u) and while Danny is still a halfa he spends more time dead than alive these days since everyone he cares about is long dead.

Anyway, after several centuries they finally manage to get through the mountain of back logged paper work from pariah’s time as king (and yes, technically Danny, as the king, was the only one who had to do that but he guilt tripped the others into helping) and they decided they deserved a vacation!

More than that they deserve to have fun!

So they come up with a bet,

All three of them would each choose a villain to be the sidekick of. Which villain they choose is up to them but it has to be in the same city. The goal? Get ur boss arrested without blowing ur cover!!

The rules:

The villain can not suspect ur working against them

The Heroes can not suspect ur helping them

Avoid civilian casualties as much as possible (their morals r a bit skewed after being dead for centuries but they would like to avoid a pissed off ghost is they can)

Ur time start as soon as they split to find their new bosses and ends so soon as the villain is caught.

U r allowed to escape from jail/police custody/the heroes if ur boss isn’t caught yet

Once the villain is caught u have to hand urself in and wait for everyone else to be done

The first person to get their boss caught get bragging rights

The last person to get their boss caught has to explain any time line fuck ups they might have caused by doing this to clockwork

With the rules set they just have to find the right city and hey would u look at that, there’s a mass brake out in Arkham right now. Gotham is really the best place for the game bc not only does it have a lot of villains it also has a lot of heroes so it’s more even since they will all have at least one hero gunning for their boss at all times.

Starting the clock the three set off. Sam, immediately, chooses Poison Ivy, for obvious reasons. Tucker chooses Riddler, he knows tech to well it would be easy for him to sabotage any death traps without it looking like sabotage. Danny on the other hand is torn. He was originally thinking to go with Dr Freeze bc ice core but he kinda sympathises with the guy. He just trying to save his wife and as a protector spirit, he can respect that and would feel awful to sabotage him. He than thinks maybe two face because he is also a guy with two faces but comes across a similar problem of sympathising with the guy (again, morals have been skewed after being dead for so long)

But there is one villain he has no sympathy for. One villain that isn’t just no matter ur morals and to boot, his whole shtick is something Danny hates with a burning passion.

That’s right, Danny picks Joker.

With bosses picked and sidekick roles achieved. The game is on!!!

Later that night sees shenanigans a penalty, a couple jail brakes on Danny’s parts (Joker stops thinking it’s funny after seeing his incompetant new sidekick cheerily runs up to him after the third jail brake) and the bats slowly loading their fucking minds wondering who the hell these kids r, where they came from and how tf does the Joker kid keep escaping????

[bronze-and-silver-keys]

I just realized the fifth trial of v3 could have gone COMPLETELY different in my ghost au oh no

// SPOILERS for Danganronpa V3

I rewatched the trial recently and just got to the end when Kaito exits the Exisal to stop everyone from reaching the wrong vote, and it got me thinking.

We aren't completely sure whether Kokichi was killed by the hydraulic press or by the poison. It could've been totally possible for him to succumb to the poison while he was laying on the press waiting for it to lower.

We have no idea how long it actually takes for the Strike-9 poison to circulate through the body, and after Kaito and Kokichi switched places, he could've succumbed to the poison while Kaito was getting back up to the controls and setting back up to lower the press.

It's totally possible for him to have died of the poison and for Maki to be the actual Blackened, but as the player we had no way of confirming his cause of death. Not even Monokuma knew because the cameras were disabled! That was the whole shtick of the case! Monokuma relied completely on Shuichis deduction for this, and he concluded that Kokichi was killed with the press.

BUT in ghost au, we WOULD get confirmation of the killer and victim but not until that moment that Kaito exited the Exisal.

Kokichis ghost could've been hanging out in there through the whole trial until that point and exited with Kaito to see everyone's expressions up close. No one would really have made the conclusion that killers see their victims ghost until they became a Blackened themselves, but Kaito didn't know that so he wouldn't have been off put by not seeing Kokichis ghost. Dude was scared of ghosts after all so it would've sent him into a panic attack anyway.

But imagine when Kaito exits the Exisal and Kokichi's bloodied ghost follows, only visible to Maki. Imagine her shock when she sees both of them still supposedly alive in front of her. Imagine the rage that would boil her blood and send her bolting over to Kokichi to try to strangle or stab him, reaching out for his spindly neck to take him down-

Only for her to phase right through him.

She falls to the floor, to her hands and knees and is hit with an entirely new shock at the realization. Oh. Oh no. Shuichi and Kaito are moving to help her up and pay no attention to the bloodied Kokichi standing beside them, asking her if she's okay after tripping like that.

That's why Gonta was acting so weird in the previous trial, saying that Miu was still with them and even more confused about why there was a trial being held. They dismissed it as her being with them in spirit, but the others had no clue how literal that was.

Kaede didn't kill Rantaro, but if she had, it would've been a dead giveaway if she was freaking out about a ghost.

Kirumis spiral at the end of her trial was probably driven by Ryoma teasing her with the occasional quip until she lost it.

Korekiyo has probably seen enough ghosts to last a lifetime, so two more would've been nothing.

Only when Gonta had killed Miu did things click.

Maki would look at Kokichi in abject horror, and he would stare back with the exact same expression because this would completely ruin his plan. She would absolutely take the chance to give up her own life to save Kaito. She had done it so many times throughout the trial already, but that was just denial. Denial that Kaito could've been dead and that she could've been the one that killed him.

The trial would drag on for longer, and Shuichi would reach the same conclusion that killers saw their victims ghost. Kaito's skin would go cold because, if that's true, then why couldn't he see Kokichi? He was supposed to be the Blackened. Not Maki. Not Maki.

Maki and Kaito would argue for both stances, desperate to save the other, until Monokuma confirms that, yes, the Blackeneds can see the ghost of their respective victim, because hey, Tsumugi has been able to see Rantaro this entire time. On the cameras, the other culprits have been talking to themselves after killing their victims, but not in a mental spiral. More of a conversation with the dead body before them, except the victim was responding.

Maki would be executed because of this, and Kaito's moral would tank because he a) just lost the love of his life, b) survived when he wasn't supposed to and c) all of that work, all of that planning Kokichi had put into this trial to end the killing game once and for all was completely wasted. He would go numb. He was ready to give up his own life for this, but Maki didn't deserve this. Maki was supposed to live, not him. This wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. The only thing trusting Kokichi got him was the love of his life dying before his very eyes when it was supposed to be him.

Oh God now i wanna write a fic where this happens

[llamaisllama777]

TSAMS THEORY: THEY'RE ALL THE SAME//TIMELOOP THEORY!

Okay, you read the title. This is probably the CRAZIEST theory I've come up with up, but please let me explain.

Okay, so in this episode of The Sun and Moon show

Dark Sun visits Foxy and is trying to help him solve his F.c. problem. This was when F.C. got that red box in his chest that absorbs negative star power, and Foxy had no idea what to do, and "Sun" shows up to offer him some support and help... ya, that's not Sun, as you can probably imagine it's Dark Sun. Dark Sun, if I remember correctly, is basically telling Foxy to get rid of the kid cause he's too dangerous, and off course, Foxy tells him no. Dark Sun make some interesting comments that got me thinking. Dark Sun kept asking hypothetical questions like: If you could go back in time and redo everything the exact same way... would you?

Kept asking time related hypotheticals, and even after 7 months, my mind does wander back to this episode and what Dark Sun said.

Someone in the comments of this video asked "Wait is Dark Sun implying they're all stuck in a timeloop and only he knows?" And that BLEW MY MIND!

It does explain a lot of things about Dark Sun

How he seems to know how everything is gonna play out

How confident he is

How smart he is

It's cause he's been through ALL this before.

He's seen it all before

He's experienced it all before

And he's learned from it all.

There is a VERY popular fan theory that Dark Sun is actually OUR Sun just from the future!

I do think that theory is true... but allow me to add to it.

DARK SUN IS SUN FROM A PREVIOUS TIMELINE

The theory is that every time THIS world ends, it gets reset (Kinda like Undertale), and everything happens all over again, maybe with one or two small differences, so it's not an exact copy but a close enough one. Dark Sun was a Sun who we know snapped and fought back against his Moon, killed him, and stole his intelligence... is what I would say if that was true. It was later revealed that Dark Sun lied about killing his Moon. We see his Moon barely alive in a cell where Ruin then puts him out of his misery. Ruin calls Dark Sun out on his lies, and Dark Sun just kinda brushes it off. He lied! He lied about killing his Moon! So, if he didn't get his intelligence, then where'd he get it? Dark Sun didn't steal it he gained it through experience. Dark Sun somehow found out he and his WHOLE WORLD IS TRAPPED IN A TIMELOOP! He probably freaked out about that for a while till he began to wonder if he could change the future, change his fate. So, he does. He becomes Dark Sun after many attempts and many timeloops and finally breaks free from the loop, but he realizes he's free, but the loop isn't over. It's still going. Just now, he's a watcher. He's on the outside looking in. He watches the loops play out over and over and over again, and it just keeps getting WORSE! Moon is still being an abusive butt to Sun, Sun still barely has anyone to support him, and they are still constantly messed with by people like Eclipse, BloodMoon, The Creator, The Astrals. It NEVER ends! Oh, sure, sometimes the loop is merciful. Maybe it gives Sun a new sibling to care for him or a new friend or heck, maybe even a kid... but it's still the same shtick! Sun even dies in some terrible ways in some of these loops! Or the siblings turn rouge and become evil. Dark Sun decided enough was enough and decided to try and break the loop once and for all, but in order to do so, he needs to intervene. He needs to start making things go his way. Pushing Nexus further to the dark side, putting things into place so Sun will lose his support system, and make it so the next few loops will have the Suns coming up on top. Basically, altering the timeloops so Sun doesn't die in 95% percent of them and instead Moon dies. (What's been happening in the show currently) Dark Sun is trying to make our Sun like him cause he believes he can't break the loop, so if you can't break it... change it. He's trying to turn Sun into another him because Dark Sun thinks becoming like him is the only way to break the loop. He's trying to make all Suns like him cause he believes he can help them.

So, that's Dark Sun's part of this.... how does Emperor Lunar and President Earth come into play?

Well, if the timeloop theory is correct, then you see what I'm saying, right? President Earth and Emperor Lunar ARE our Lunar and Earth! Just from different timelines. They're like Dark Sun sort of. They know about the loops but aren't really doing anything to intervene. Maybe they are, and we just aren't seeing it? Who knows?

Now, you might be saying Llama, Emperor Lunar, President Earth, and Dark Sun are from another dimension... not timeline... well... do we know that for sure? I mean, they say it's other universes.... but... dimensional travel is a tricky thing. Who's to say Moon when he built the portal didn't accidentally poke a hole through? Plus, other dimensions and alternate timelines are a term that's pretty interchangeable. So, what we think is an alternate dimension is actually a alternate timeline, part of a the loop.

Basically, what I'm saying is that Moon's portal is actually going in a giant circle poking through the past timelines and wrapping back around to ours and poking through ours to future ones.

Tl;DR The whole show is stuck in a timeloop, and Dark Sun, Evil Earth, and Evil Lunar are OUR Sun, Lunar, and Earth just from a previous loop and Dark Sun is trying to save all other Suns by messing with the timelines so they'll become like him and break free from the loop.

Does this theory have a lot of holes... yes. But gosh dang! Wouldn't that be something! Plus, I can see something like this happening in the show.

But hey that's just a theory...

A TSAMS THEORY!

Thanks for reading!

[reblogandlikes]

Unknown mother and sister.

I know people have spoken about authors using female anguish or pain placed upon them to develop the male characters before, but it honestly bugs me so much when it comes to Rhysand. His whole shtick for the Great Retcon of Tamlin is helped through the past actions of Tamlin’s so-called betrayal that led to the murder of his mother and sister (we still don't know the whole story. Heck, Rhysand himself still doesn't know the whole story, yet acts as he does - go into his mind and find out), but what do we even know about these women other than to serve as Rhysand's ever lasting resentment?

We have no names. We have no solid personalities than the vague stereotypically female qualities of "kind hearted" and "caring." The mother randomly made dresses in a revealing design that doesn't match the Illyrian's prudish aesthetic at all when it comes to female’s and how did she even get her ring in the weavers hands and how would retrieving it display anyones worth of her precious son? That in itself could have been a whole back story along with her and any extended family. Then there's the sister who we also know nothing about. And even in CC3 (hofas) Azriel mentioned that Helena, during that holographic scene in the Prison, looked similar to Rhysand’s sister. In that moment, a name could have been given, SJM! That was a perfect opportunity, but nah, I guess.

The point being, these women were Rhysand’s heart. Azriel's heart. Cassian’s heart, and yet we know practically nothing about them beyond the surface. They were tracked and murdered for...reasons. Beheaded and wings removed to debase them further, but what attachment are readers meant to have other than to say, "Aww, poor Rhysand, how horrible"? Tamlin lost his mother too, but his story isn't as wrapped up in the loss as Rhysand’s is, so his mother being dead isn't meant to hold that much weight nor granted much sympathy despite neither women having names nor much back story. Women killed due to other men's (the fathers) anger and vengeance. Women's deaths meant to set the tone and nothing else. Senseless. Pointless.

We know more about Mama Archeron than any of them, yet even that information is scarce, and she's the dead parent of the FMC. We know more about Alis than them. We know more about Amarantha and her sister, Clythia, than them. We know more about Myriam than them.

So someone tell me why I'm meant to take Rhysand seriously and his devastated, broken heart for his losses when they're used as nothing but tools to excuse he behaviour and justify his feelings despite us never getting to know the true memory of them?

I wish we learnt more. She was the first Illyrian Lady ever! That's interesting! What did she do to help her own people? Did she care? Why did she allow Rhysand to go to those camps? Did she have a choice? What did the sister do in her years alive? Did she have dreams? I still think a little romance between the sister and either Cassian or Azriel would have been an interesting twist.

So many books, and we're given crumbs. So many books and so many characters don't even have names, let alone surnames. I know the genre is romantasy, but c'mon. And I'm just tired of random female trauma being used to further a males tragic backstory and nothing else.

[callofdudes]

Call it your own what if bestie ☺️☺️

An alternate reality where Tommy, Beth and Joseph are still alive. Simon invites y/n back to Manchester to visit them and a huge amount of chaos unfolds between the two

I really really enjoy making this au with you @itsscromp and it's given me a bazillion and one ideas for it. It's kind of funny how in the reboot I imagine Simon and Tommy's complexions switcheroo-d. You've sucked me in, I was listening to Billie while I wrote this periodically.

Summary: When Joseph's birthday comes up, Simon takes leave to head home and spend time with them. With him, comes y/n with nothing better to do, looking to meet the family.

Riley family functions.

Simon didn’t speak about his family much. It was a private matter close to his heart, and after so many rough years he wasn’t ready to share that with the world. He'd been putting things back together with his brother, and for once in his life, things seemed to be working out in his favor.  

Meeting you had changed something in him. When he was changed to 141 his barrier started to deplete just enough that you could wiggle your way into a friendship with the brute. And Simon wasn’t bad. Everyone feared him but the bravado he showed the world wasn’t what those closest to him saw. 

You’d been his friend for a while, and Simon had never mentioned his family. Hell, you didn’t know if he even had a family. Given his whole identity and government shtick you almost assumed not. 

Simon was in his little world, however. His nephew’s birthday was coming up and he’d promised Tommy he’d be there. So, he took his 30 days and before long started to pack. And that’s when you saw him. 

“Where are you going, Lt?” 

He grunted half-heartedly. “Not your business.” He zipped up his suitcase and pondered over what he might get Joseph. The little guy already had toys, and he wasn’t that old. A couple of years? It had been a while admittedly. Maybe he was 6 by now?? 

“Oh, come on. Don’t want to tell your buddy where you’re going??” You walked over and looked over what he was packing. Clothes, snacks? Paperwork?  

“Ghost, where are you going?” 

“Already answered you.” He grunted. You gave him a look as he left his room after packing up. You crossed your arms, and in his mind, Simon heard Beth chiding him for not being open with his friend. He could imagine her saying, “Invite your friend, I’m sure they’d love to hang out with you, and Joseph can get some more social time.” 

“You’re not going to stop bugging me, are you?” 

You considered and then shook your head. “Nuh uh.” 

He rolled his eyes and sighed. “Going back to my family for the month. Nephew’s birthday is coming up. They want me there.” 

“Aw, you have a nephew??” You smiled, already walking faster to keep up with him. “How old is he?” 

Simon shrugged. “Five, maybe six? But that’s givin’ the kid credit.”  

You chuckled softly as you followed along. “So, you like your nephew??” You smirked upon seeing the little glint of warmth in his otherwise unresponsive irises. 

“Yeah, I guess so.” He stopped and turned to you, catching you off guard with your stride. “Let me guess…” 

“I’d love to meet your family; I could use a break.” You smiled. “If that isn’t too forward.” 

He considered this, shifting back and forth from foot to foot. And eventually, he relented. “If your shit isn’t packed by tomorrow don’t bother coming.” 

You smiled wide. “Right away lieutenant.” You winked and headed off. 

A couple days later, Ghost found himself squished on a plane with you. His legs tucked in; his arms folded awkwardly as his elbows pressed into the hard armrest. 

You were curled up similarly, Simon never spent enough money on these dumb flights to get him comfortably from base to Manchester.  

“So, what are they like??” You asked to try and pass the time, turning to him. 

Simon grumbled and shifted again. “They’re fine. Nephew’s a little ball of energy. Can never get that kid to relax. Beth, my brother’s wife is… Strong-willed. If you could put it that way.” 

“Oh?? Strong, is she?” 

He raised his eyebrows. “That’s an understatement. Not mean, but not afraid to call bullshit in her house.” 

You nodded. An awkward moment passed between you, and then you frowned. “What... what about your brother??” 

Simon was quiet throughout the flight. “He’s not bad. Can be an asshole, like every older brother.” 

“Oh, so he’s older?” 

Simon huffed. Seemingly annoyed he got stuck with the role of the younger sibling. Forced to live life vicariously through his brother. 

“Yes…” 

“Well, they sound very nice, it’ll be nice to meet them.” You reassured him. Simon didn’t talk about his family for the rest of the flight until the plane landed. You grabbed your bags from the terminal at the airport and headed to your cab. 

 Manchester was dark and gloomy by this point in the evening. Rain started to flick down on the windows and drip down from the rooftops. 

You looked around, taking in some of the features of gloomy Manchester. The drive was quiet, the sound of the rain and the tires was the only noise between you both.  

Finally, Simon lifted his head upon reaching a pale blue house, light pouring out from the window, soft white curtains fogging up any inside activities. The railing looked somewhat old, wrapped in Christmas lights that hadn’t been taken down yet. 

“Is this it? It looks nice.” You spoke. 

“Yeah, it is.” Simon paid the driver and got out into the rain. The pour got harder as you two flipped the trunk and got your bags.  

“Lovely weather!” You said over the rain, seeing the wet cat look on Simon’s face. “Bloody hell.” He remembered times when Tommy would lock the house after he got home from school so Simon would have to sit out in the pouring rain until their father came home. 

He walked up the wet steps, seeing the lilacs were growing nice. He stood at the door and knocked heavily after a moment of hesitation.  

“Coming!” There was a call from inside, someone rushing to the door. A woman opened the door, looking around the same age as Simon. She smiled upon seeing the younger man, “Simon! Oh, my goodness, come in out of the rain.” Her chest-length hair tied back into a messy bun, a few strands falling into her face. 

“Oh, and your friend, I assume?” 

“Y/n. Yes. A friend.” Simon came in out of the rain, and you followed. Beth led the two of you into the house and instructed Simon where to put his bags for the time.  

“Come in, get comfy. Tea? Coffee?” She turned back to you two with a polite, yet warm smile. 

“Coffee please.” You spoke up, “Thank you.” 

“Of course. Simon, I’m making you a London fog.”  

Simon opened his mouth to speak before waving his hand with a curt dismissal. “Sure, fine. Do whatever the hell you want.” 

You chuckled and sat on the couch. “This is nice.” You looked around once comfortable. The carpet was nice, and they had some decorations up. The house smelled of cinnamon and scented candles were set up in the kitchen. The soft beige color of the walls feels simple but not out of place, making it a warm atmosphere. Toys were scattered around the room where the Christmas tree was in the corner. 

“Why is that bloody thing still up?” Simon grumbled.  

“Maybe they haven’t had time to take it down?” You whispered to him, gently hitting his side. “Ease up.” 

Simon huffed softly and crossed his arms. Beth hummed gently as she made drinks. “Thomas! Simon is here!” She called.  

Simon’s thumb dug into his bicep; arms firmly crossed over his chest. He tried to ease the twist and pound inside his chest.  

“Comin!” A voice called back. 

Tommy wandered down the stairs, a little one clinging onto his pant leg. Tommy looked over at Simon and smiled a little. “Hey, you made it ok?” 

“Hello, we did.” 

Tommy looked toward you. “Oh?”  

“Oh, y/n” You smiled, quickly rushing to introduce yourself. “Thomas. I see you’ve met my less handsome half.” 

“Fuck off.” 

“Don’t use that language around Joseph.” The two tossed words back like a mental game of ping pong. Passing off ideas to see how comfortable they could get invading each other’s space. But that was brothers, already poking each other's buttons as much as they could. 

While they did, you smiled at the small boy clinging onto his dad. He peered over, looking at you. 

You waved softly, but that only prompted him to hide more. 

Beth returned with tea, giving Simon his London Fog, and your coffee. The mugs were warm and decorated with sayings like ‘best mom’ and ‘I wear this expression to work’.  

“Here you are.” 

“Thank you.” You brought your lips to the cup, hovering over the warm drink, blowing over the cup gently. 

Tommy sat in the seat across from you and Simon. “How’s work been?” 

“How do you think?” Simon replied. 

Tommy shrugged. “I dunno. A pain?” He opened his arms when Joseph beckoned to be in his arms, allowing the little guy to climb onto his lap. Tommy gently patted Joseph’s back, “Well, I’m sure Joseph is happy you’re here.” 

You saw Simon’s snippy attitude soften. Joseph looked over at him, nodding in agreement with his dad.  

Simon took a sip of his tea. “Remind me, how old are you Joseph? One?” 

Joseph went shy and shook his head against Tommy’s shoulder. 

“Oh you’re not?? Hm, what about two?” 

“No…” Joseph whispered with a soft smile. 

Simon leaned back, propping up his leg so his ankle rested against his knee. “Ok, tell me if I’m warm?”  

Joseph didn’t say anything, but Simon took it as a yes. “Ten??” 

Joseph giggled a little, shaking his head. 

“What about… Six?” 

Joseph considered this, and Tommy leaned in to whisper, yes, he was turning six. Joseph nodded, looking over at Uncle Simon with a small smile now. Through his small smile, his gap-toothed expression was evident. It warmed your heart at how adorable the little guy was.  

“You’re getting pretty old. Dad’ll start charging you rent soon.” 

“Oh shush.” Beth gently scolded him. 

“Gotta prepare him for when he’ll be pitching in for rent. That’s what we did when we were little-“ 

“What’s the rule about no trauma dumping on the first day?” 

“No trauma dumping on the first day…” He muttered and sipped his tea. 

“Sharp mind.” She teasingly patted his shoulder. She was like the firm older sister Simon didn’t have the dreaded experience with. He suffered enough with a brother, he couldn’t begin to imagine that with a sister. 

He was glad Tommy didn’t find a pushover pill pusher, but she was like a ruler. Bend it too far and it snaps right back to hit you in your face. But she was a lovely woman regardless. She’d been the main middleman for the brother's continued talks, working toward tranquil redemption. 

“Did you two get dinner??” She perked up, looking over at you.  

“Oh, no we didn’t. It’s no problem though-“  

She raised her hand and stood. “I’ve got leftovers from last night I can toss in the oven quick for ya.” 

“Yes ma’am.” Simon didn’t argue this time. 

While she did that you three talked together. Tommy asked you about how you enjoyed and dealt with working with Simon. The playful banter between the brothers made you chuckle in between serious conversations. Cheap quips and snide teasing. 

Beth brought you two trays of cabbage rolls, and oh my goodness they were heavenly. The best cabbage rolls you’d had in your entire life.  

“Oh, Beth,” You hummed, eagerly digging into more. Beth smiled proudly. 

“Told her once, she should go on Master Chef.” Tommy said to Simon. 

“You kiddin’? She’d make Ramsey cry.” 

The two snickered, you and Simon finishing the last of the leftovers. The pace of the evening continued on. 

Soon it was Joseph’s bedtime, and Beth went to tuck him in. Not before rushing for a quick hug from Uncle Simon, who squeezed him gently. “Go on, get some sleep, bubs.” 

“Ok…”  

He rushed to Mom, who picked him up and carried him to bed. You were the next to go, yawning and slumping into the comfy couch. “I think he’s onto something.”  

“Tired too, huh?” Tommy nodded. “Well, you two had a long flight here. Best let you get some rest. The spare room is open, we’ve got an air mattress we can set up? Unless one of you wants the pull-out couch.” 

“I can take the couch.” Simon muttered. 

You wanted to fight it, but if Simon wasn’t comfortable sharing a space with you, you wouldn’t push.  

Tommy nodded and got up. “Come on then, I’ll show you the spare room.” 

You followed Tommy closely and made it to the bedroom. A queen bed with comfy blankets and a nightlight on the side desk.  

“Thank you, for the hospitality.” 

Tommy nodded. “Look, he may be an asshole. But any friend of Simon’s is a friend of ours… For the most part.” 

You chuckled softly. “Goodnight Simon!” You called back, hearing him grunt in indignation.  

Simon slept on the pull-out couch. Slept is a very loose term. It was sleep, and then periodically waking up when the house settled or just to do a once over of the shadowy, dark living room.  

He survived the night in the house, around 6 he heard shuffling upstairs. 

Beth opened one eye slowly, barely aware Tommy was leaving bed. “Thomas…” She reached out and grabbed his hand gently.  

Tommy looked down at her, gently squeezing her hand. “I’m going to shower, not leaving yet.” 

“I’ll make you breakfast…” 

He gently shook his head, leaned down, and kissed her tenderly. “I’ll pick something up.” She hummed, resigning and shifting back asleep. Tommy grabbed his work clothes and went to have his shower. After which he cuddled her some more before heading downstairs.  

Simon skulked over the counter, a cup of tea in hand. Tommy brushed his hair back, jumping slightly when he saw Simon. “Fuckin’ hell… Ugly mug in the mornin'" He muttered. 

“You’re one to talk.”  

“Skeleton lookin’ ass.”  

“Suck up.” 

“At least I have a wife.” Tommy grumbled.  

“You can keep her.” 

“I planned on it.” 

The two nodded firmly. Tommy grabbed his work jacket and started to put on his boots. He grabbed his keys and went for the door, then sighed softly.  

“Simon?” 

Simon looked up from his cup. “Wot?” 

“I’m… Glad you came to stay.” 

Simon looked down again. He didn’t say anything, leaving Tommy in an awkward silence. “Alright…” Tommy inhaled deeply and stepped out the door. 

When the door closed again, Simon’s shoulders dropped, and he continued to sip his tea.  

He felt heavy at the table, letting the warm drink wash over his muscles, soothing each overactive muscle. 

You were the next person up. After dressing you wandered out to the living room, spotting Simon clanking around as quietly as possible in the kitchen. 

“Looking for food?” 

“Forgot where Beth keeps her instant meals…” 

You raised an eyebrow as he continued to roam around the cupboards and cabinets. You looked at the fridge and wandered over, inside were five or more stacked meal preps she’d done. “Had you checked in here?”  

He perked up and looked at the fridge. A pause. “I was going there next.” 

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m sure.” You pulled out the one labeled Tuna Salad and popped open the lid.  

Simon took his meds in the meantime, and you served each a bowl. “She’ll be ok with this?” 

Simon shrugged. “She usually doesn’t give a shit what I eat.”  

You both sat at the table and ate in peaceful silence until Beth joined you. “Oh, Tuna Salad? That does sound good.” She went to the container, seeing there was still enough for her, Joseph, and Tommy when he got home. 

She joined you at the table.  

“Where’s Tommy?” 

“He’s at work. But, he’ll be off early for Joseph’s birthday tomorrow.” 

“That’s nice.” 

Not long after, the little guy scuttled down the stairs and rushed over to Mum. “Mama…” He gently tugged her shirt.  

“Hey baby.” And smiled at him. 

“Where’s dad…?” 

“Work baby, he’ll be home later. You hungry?” 

He nodded, so she got up and served him a bowl of Tuna Salad. He poked at it, sticking his finger in the tuna and eating from his palm. 

You chuckled softly, and Joseph’s gaze was on you. You looked down at your food, letting Joseph eat. 

Beth gave him a soft look. “Did you tell Uncle Simon we got your electric train working?” 

Joseph momentarily stopped mashing the food and looked up.  

Simon took a sip of his tea. “You get it working?” 

“Dad,” He made motions with his tuna and lettuce-covered hands. “Fixed it.” 

“You gotta show me then. It looked pretty cool in the video.” That made Joseph smile. His toothy little smile, those two front teeth missing, giving him an adorable smile. 

He rushed from the table, making Beth chuckle. He wiped his hands on his pajama pants, that she wasn’t too happy to see. He went to the living room and scrambled to get the electric train from under the tree.  

Simon moved from the kitchen to the living room, squatting down while his nephew set up the tracks. They are all connected and could be rearranged to make different paths. The bottom of the connecting train’s rail piece was a small button.  

Joseph pressed it, and the train started up. His smile remained bright, proud of his cool train. 

Simon whistled softly, “Well look at that.”  

Joseph pushed the button again and the train sped up a knot. Simon watched the train go in its circle, pistons trekking quickly over each wheel to keep it moving. 

“What if we made it go underneath?” 

“What?” 

Simon looked around for visual representation and spotted a stack of Beth’s books. “Sorry.” He said half-heartedly and stacked them, putting one of the tracks across the staircase leveled books. “You think we could build it to go up?” 

Joseph’s eyes lit up like saucers, nodding wildly. He scooted closer and Simon helped him build an extravagant track for his train.  

You smiled, watching the inner child of such a harsh man shine through. “Is he always like this here?” 

Beth hummed softly. "Eventually. Sometimes it takes him a bit. But that's Uncle Simon." 

It was warm and lively. You joined them halfway through to see their progress. "Ooh, looks good."  

"Thanks for the approval, Egg." 

A heartbeat or two later you both heard explosive giggles. Simon smiled softly and looked at Joseph who laughed.  

"What's so funny?" Your smile softened too. 

Joseph's cheeks went red, hiccing and giggling. "Egg!" 

The two of you chuckled too. "Yes, that's Egg." 

"Cracks people up." You grinned. Simon said, "Oh, that was good." 

"Right? I'm so quick with it." 

Joseph was laughing in tears but managed to recover.

"I coined it for them."  

"Thanks for that." Said sarcastically. “But the call signs aren’t technically supposed to be cool, and I don’t think I have the worst call sign on base.” 

"You're welcome." Simon replied, taking all credit. 

Your visit with the Riley family was fun. For Simon’s family, you didn’t expect them to be as lively as they were. Beth was Tommy a pair of incredible parents. 

“Dada.” Joseph pointed out the window to a truck driving along the neighborhood, beckoning his father over. Tommy came over, kneeled beside Joseph, and watched the garbage truck go by. "Look at that, hey?" He smiled a little, admiring his son's happy expression. And they sat there watching the garbage men go down the street.

-

He'd sit with Mama Beth at the table as she cut his toasties for him. Pecking a soft kiss on his hair and helping him with anything he needed.

-

Joseph would sit on his dad's lap, cuddling with him and his stuffie as they watched Tommy's favorite cowboy movies or YouTube videos on cool machinery. Joseph loved it, and would usually fall asleep if it was late. His dad went upstairs and tucked him into bed.

-

Uncle Simon would continue to play with him and take Joseph out for adventures. Telling him his awful jokes and the PG version of his missions. Joseph saw him as the ultimate hero, aside from his parents.

-

Tommy was always there to have the occasional casual conversation, hated talking about his work. Beth would let you invade her kitchen and would not hesitate to put you in place if you got rowdy.

Whenever Simon and Tommy started to act like brothers do. The classic pranks like pink hair dye in the shampoo, laxatives in tea, and tearing off the moustache with duct tape, she's the one to end it. And they never fight Beth.

You were there to witness Simon and Tommy coming in after a game of football covered in mud. And the horror in her face when she was told they might have gotten tangled up in the plants... You've never seen Simon submit so easily. His sister-in-law is scary ok!?

But she was chill with you. You're her new favorite.

And then came Joseph's birthday. The brothers were rowdy. Of course they let the little guy sleep in, his birthday being on a Sunday.

Beth and Tommy got up to make Sunday breakfast and the rest of you periodically got up.

"Ew, Beth, what is that?" *Simon scrunched his nose.

She looked over at him before frowning. "My husband you dumbfuck."

Simon raised his eyebrows briefly. "Shoulda seen that coming..."

Tommy snickered, leaning over to give Beth a kiss while washing the strawberries. "That's my love." Beth smiled a little, nudging him back and stealing another kiss.

"Ok, ok we get it, you're in love." Simon said, his tone in a sarcastic drawl. "Ugh... Get a room."

"Yeah, you wish we would." Tommy gave Beth a light snack on the butt.

"Oi! Behave- both of you." Beth went slightly pink, shaking her head and reprimanding the two back into their place. The brothers continuing to mime mocking words at each other. Simon stuck out his tongue, Tommy flipped the middle finger.

Geez, it was like watching two middle school kids argue over the sandbox.

"Well, everyone seems lively today." You looked at Simon, nudging him to stop sticking out his tongue at his brother.

"Huh?" One Simon who had been very caught up in his young sibling antics. "Yes, yes very."

You chuckled and shook your head softly. Oh boy, you know he didn't hear a word you said.

And then the little guy came waddling in. "Mama...??" *He rubbed his tired eyes, going over to her and grabbing onto her side, hugging it.

"Good morning, baby. You sleep ok?" *She reached out, gently ruffling his soft hair.

"Mhm..."

"You ready for your birthday breakfast?" She asked, combing through his hair. "Mhm." *He replied.

Tommy and Beth got the table set and brought food over, serving Joseph up a plate of pancakes and whipped cream on top. Joseph muttered out a quick thank you before eagerly digging in. Consuming it like a black hole.

Simon smirked as Joseph inhaled his pancakes.

"Wow." You whispered.

"He inherited my appetite. It skips a generation." Simon replied with a smirk.

"Oh, does it now? Are Joseph's grandchildren going to get it?"

"Very likely. It's horrible."

"I feel so bad for them." You chuckled, smiling softly and grabbing a serving.

It was odd seeing Simon like this, but it was rather endearing as well. Simon was always this big strong man, and he still was, absolutely. But something about getting to see him domestic hot differently. Seeing how he got up with his brother, how gentle he was with his nephew, and the snarky little shit with his sister-in-law. You smiled as you watched them, saw how they interacted.

Joseph seemed equally as happy to have his family all in one place. And then Tommy brought a couple boxes to the table. "Ok bud, all yours."

Joseph looked at the boxes, eyeing them with stars in his pupils. He bounced in his chair and picked the top one up, early tearing into it to see what it was. He shrieked, his smile going wide. "Batman!?"

"Yep." Simon smiled proudly, watching Joseph pick up the Batman costume he'd ordered online. He was lucky it had reached their house in time.

"That's from uncle Simon." Beth said.

"Thank you!" He squirmed from his seat, eagerly to wrap his arms around his uncle. Simon gave Joseph a little assuring squeeze. "Any time, bubs."

Tommy pushed a present closer, and Joseph smiled at his parents. This was from them. He could feel it. So he broke it open, and looked inside, smiling warmly. A remote control car.

"You've done well with the train, so we figure it can't hurt to let you go 4-wheel drive."

Joseph smiled, waddled to hug both mum and dad. And they hugged him, of course.

And you felt like you couldn't come to their house without getting their son a gift.

So you slid it across the table, smiling at Joseph, who perked up and looked at it. Ooo.

He picked up the gift shyly. "Thank you..."

He looked it over before opening it up. He smiled, looking down at the bag of gummy worms.

"it's... Not much, but your uncle likes them, and I trusted his word that you did too."

Joseph took the bag, and looked at you, giving you a big, happy smile. "Thank you!"

It warmed your heart in a way you couldn't describe. There was nothing better than spending all the time with family. And Simon's family seemed wonderful.

(I wanted to explore with the family more, not sure if I did them heaps of justice but this project took a bit to come to me and I couldn't cram all my thoughts on the Riley's coherently into this without frying. But I want more for these three, I promise.)

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Aaaa I'm glad you liked my rambling couple of headcanons!! The image of reader and cora just in the background while law is doing his scary surgeon of death thing cheering him on and offering potential new crewmates is so funny actually. And I agree there is nothing funnier to me than the idea of getting forced to join a pirate crew like doflamingo's just because you have a vague amount of childcare experience and were nice to a couple kids. I'm obsessed with baby dellinger (I know you haven't met him but he slays) and I like the idea of reader thinking his sharp teethies and horns are adorable and just kind of rolling with their new job and baby talking a bloodied toddler dellinger lmao. Maybe reader is a bit more deranged than everyone thought!

Yeah thank you for sending it in, it's a very fun AU to play with! I thought about it way too much at work today, so I'm dumping all of those random thoughts into this.

I've seen pictures of Dellinger, so I know who you're talking about.

Angel has a tendency to baby all of the kids, so of course that's going to apply to the actual baby. She's always cooing over how cute his little horns and teeth are. Even when he's being a terror, she's excusing everything with: he's literally a baby. You got bit? Well why were you putting your hand so close to his mouth? He isn't even walking yet. If you're getting injured by him, that's just a skill issue on your part. Angel doting on him so much turns him into a major mama's boy.

Anyways onto my random ideas

Angel and Corazon's first interaction is a trainwreck because it happened after Angel saw him chuck Law out a window. Her first order of business is to go get Law and treat him, but the second she's done, she's out for blood. By the time she tracks down Corazon, she's so mad that she grabs the back of his coat and yanks on it so hard that she actually manages to make him fall flat on his ass. The instant he's down, she's grabbing him by the collar and laying into him like, "You are a grown ass man! In what fucking universe do you think it's okay for you to throw one of my kids out of a window?! Law is already sick, and now you're trying to kill him too?! If you so much as look at him again, I'll skin you alive and turn you into a coat!" She shoves him as she leaves, and Corazon just sits there in stunned silence because that was actually terrifying. He thought she was just a nanny, he didn't know she was capable of that. Doflamingo saw the whole thing and it just makes him like Angel more. Maybe she isn't so different from the rest of them after all.

Doflamingo gets all of the kids (excluding Law's stubborn ass) to call Angel 'mom'. Partially because he's so hung up on his whole family shtick, but mostly as a manipulation tactic to guilt trip her into not wanting to leave.

When it's time for Corazon and Law to leave, Angel promises to meet up with them when it's time to go. She says she has some last minute packing to do and will be right back. The "packing" is just smuggling the kids out in a crate (except for Dellinger who just gets stuffed in a purse because he's so tiny) because there isn't a chance in hell that she's leaving her kids to get raised by Doflamingo. Now Law has two embarrassing parents and also three siblings to annoy the hell out of him. He suffers even in the good AUs.

Doflamingo is irate when he realizes what happened and where like half of his damn family went. The betrayal is the worst part, but he's also pissed because he was starting to have a thing for Angel and he's mad that she's with his brother and not him.

[deconstructthesoup]

Some thoughts for a Dead Boy Detective D&D AU:

Edwin: He would absolutely be a School of Necromancy wizard. Everything about him screams wizard, and I think him being a necromancer who uses his abilities for good would be pretty in-character for him. In fact, we could even go one step further and say that he's a Reborn (who are essentially the D&D version of Frankenstein's Monster, and they are insanely cool and fun from a roleplay stance alone). Maybe he got brought back to life after some time in Hell, maybe he was able to bring himself back... there's a lot of possibilities there.

Charles: Oath of the Watchers paladin, hands-down. I know, most people tend to peg him as a fighter, but hear me out---first off, he canonically fights with a magical weapon, and you know it would be cool as hell for him to cast Smite with his cricket bat. Second off, his whole deal as a Dead Boy Detective feels very Oath-of-the-Watchers coded, since they're all about guarding the material world from extraplanar forces. And third... he's a punk. Paladins are punks. Also, he's gotta be an elf. Probably a wood elf instead of a high elf, but elf is non-negotiable when you're putting Charles I-Have-Cute-Pointed-Ears Rowland in a fantasy setting.

Crystal: Aberrant Mind sorcerer, kalshatar. Because, well... *gestures to her everything* yeah. Also, Crystal deserves to go full-on eldritch entity.

Niko: I personally think that she'd be an amazing College of Creation bard---and this might just be because that's my favorite subclass for my favorite class, and she's my favorite character, but she feels very bard to me, and College of Creation is all about seeing the beauty in the world, appreciating life, and making the most out of any situation, which fits our girl well. Also, I think that Niko would probably be the group's token human, which fits nicely with her being the only non-magical member of the Dead Boy Detectives in canon.

Monty: Circle of Stars druid, kenku. Theoretically, a kenku who could actually converse with people instead of just repeating what he hears, but... astrology crow. What do you want me to say.

Jenny: She was tricky, but I eventually decided that she'd be your classic tiefling rogue---specifically, a Soulknife rogue, with maybe a level or two of fighter thrown in there for good measure. Jenny gives off the vibes of a slightly older adventurer who's kind of grown cynical about the whole thing, but she's still tagging along with a younger, more starry-eyed crew because somebody needs to keep them alive.

Esther: Now, while the temptation to make her a Green Hag is very, very strong, I think that might be doing her a little bit too dirty. So, instead, she's a Circle of Spores druid and a Great Old One warlock, and while she is a regular human, she's done a lot of messed-up stuff to keep herself alive and young. I figured that Circle of Spores fits with her necromancy shtick (and also, y'know, Teeth Face), and GOOlock fits with her deal with Lilith.

The Cat King: Trickster Domain cleric, tabaxi. No-brainer, really.

The Night Nurse: Her whole deal strikes me as very Protector aasimar-coded, if not straight-up Celestial-coded. Also, she fits the criteria for a Grave Domain cleric to a T.

[magewolf-the-artist]

The girlie!

While alive she was peppy, naive, outgoing and super friendly, and very, very optimistic. This completely flips when she's dead, as she's now quiet, lethargic, extremely depressed, withdrawn, and very neurotic

She never got that body removed so girlie is in CONSTANT agony. Imagine being skinned alive, slathered in shards of glass and lemon juice, and being constantly pierced by metal bars in the limbs, and you'll get the idea

Because of this, she HATES, and I mean HATES, being touched

At some point Rosemary cleans up some of the bloodstains on the Billy mask and cut off the ruffle. She does get another ruffle though because it helps cover up her neck and she's super insecure about that

She tends to isolate herself a lot from the rest of the gang, partly because she feels extremely out of place and unsure of herself. Also it hurts a lot to move

She has eidetic memory and can remember things in nearly full clarity and detail. One thing she does to keep herself occupied is relive certain memories to feel better.

She also does math problems in her head to keep herself occupied. Fucking. Psycho.

She taped off her cassette player soon after possessing Billy after hearing everyone else's horror stories of Bon fucking with them and became paranoid he would try to play the hitlist tape to fuck with her. Granted, he is literally unable to do this because he destroyed it after he got done killing her, but it makes her feel safer so ehhh

She likes pinball

A big ol geology nerd

She, Kevin, and Hilary were childhood friends, and she and Hilary really helped Kevin through his grief when Susan went missing

As for relationships with our cast:

She's honestly really scared of Susan's temper, so she usually avoids her. She does feel a tad bit awkward about it turning out that Kevin was THIS close to reuniting with his aunt but couldn't because of Bon

Charles tries his best to encourage her to not be a depressive fuck and be alone all the time, to varying degrees of success. He really mean well, but his constant negging makes her really uncomfortable

Rosemary adopted her. At first Rosemary would just keep Ashley company by tracking her down and silently sitting with her, usually while drawing. Eventually Ashley started to open up about her emotions and Rose listened very patiently. As mentioned Rosemary cleans off Billy's mask at some point, but what I didn't mention is that Ashley has a whole ass breakdown after and, rather unusually, HUGS her, and says "I wish you were my mom". Long story short, Rosemary has a new child now

She has a big sister/cool older cousin kind of relationship with Rocket. At first it started with Rocket tracking their mother down and doing their whole show and tell shtick, which Ashley also listening because what else is she gonna do? But I imagine at some point they bring Rose a shiny rock and Ashley points out that it's made out of pure onyx, which is extremely rare for the area. Rocket is blown away by this and now bring her all kinds of cool rocks for her to identify

[prclns]

Mrs Kwon/Limo's Wife Headcanons per requested....

!! TOBOT SPOILERS AHEAD AND MENTIONS OF DEATH AND MISCARRIGE !!

-I think they both attended the same robotics school where they met but i feel like they both majored in different subjects..i feel that mrs kwon did something related more to actual coding compared to Limo who did both

-Both were kinda akward with each others at first, and kinda loathed each other lol

-Mrs Kwon was definetly a good friend of Angela. Girlbesties, She got them to know each other a bit better. Also arranged some dates for them with Doun

-Waaaay more serious and down to earth than Limo. I feel like Limo gained a bit more seriousness and caution after she died..

-Limos definetly the one that proposed first. Obviously..did it in a garage out of all places but thats Limo for you.

-Was into fashion, Also she and Angela helped him get into it aswell. They both share the favourite color of Purple, the whole lepoard thing was thanks to Angela though.

-Something is stuck with me that she probably was pregnant with a child during her death, and obviously as we saw her condition that child unforunatley died with her, which caused Limo to envy Doun more since his children were alive, and they were two of them.

-The whole "Boorang Motors" shtick was probably an Idea they both had after they married and moved in together, probably a silly idea to earn money, Limo however took it seriously after her death (we all know how that turned out)

-When Zero/Babot was being finalized, she definetly picked the colors and almost treated him as if he were her own son, probably as practice before their actual son, despite looking an acting emotionless, sometimes Zero was way more protective of her than Limo.

-After her death Limo became more of a loner, despite his friends trying to help him and mourn with him, to a point he couldnt bare to see hear or talk with others that had some sort of association with her. This is more of a Limo hc but im adding it here anyways

-If she hadnt died, shed Probably be a strict parent to Semo/Dylan, but deep down very caring, i can really see her coming from a stern and high class background but secrelty wants to be a chill gal...

-I can also see Semo being a more of a rebellious son if she were alive, being more hesitant to give her son a Tobot if she were to survive the accident.

-Would definetly be dressing up Semo in silly frills and ribbon when he was younger. Limo would definetly support her [Semo would despise it, especially when he grows older and sees old embarassing photos of the 3 in family photos]

(This stuff is probably far off from canon and not accurate to Limo and Zero's backstory but the tobot zero comic is lost media so i dont care)

requested by @supergluefumes!!! thank u

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

Heeeey… something kinda funny with the cannibal bot what if the cons were watching threw their own cells and seeing the crashing, and fear induced panic going on around the ship, seeing this bot in full predator mode? Obviously some would be amused but some of the more squimish might turn away if they actually see this freak get a hold of some poor bot.

-Megatron doesn't look away, doesn't flinch. While he's not really a fan of gore he can't appear squeamish, and so he observes it all with an air of indifference. More than the death and bloodshed, Megatron takes delight in the panic of the autobots. Seeing them run around with obvious fear on their face-plates makes him smile and even chuckle at times. Later on, he will commend the bot for their effective use of fear tactics against the enemy.

-Look, Starscream ain't afraid of some bloodshed or even exposed guts but even he shudders at the sight and sound of some bot being eaten alive. To mask his fear he chides the bot, telling them to eat in silence and to at least rip out the voicebox of their victim before they eat. Looks away when it happens.

-Depending on the personality, Blitzwing has slightly different reactions. Icy is indifferent and looks away simply because he finds it distasteful. Hothead is also mostly indifferent though he's a tiny bit disgusted and will voice that opinion. Meanwhile, Random is begging to be let out and allowed to participate in the fun. That looks yummy!

-Lugnut, while not really into their whole shtick, encourages the bot the whole time. Tells them to give the autobots hell and cheers when they take someone down. His opinion of this bot has gone from moderate to incredibly high.

-Like Lugnut, Shockwave is not really into the whole 'eating bots'-thing they have going on but he does appreciate how efficient they are. From pulling the power to slowly prowling the ship to instill fear and panic into the autobots, it's a good plan. Doesn't cringe when they attack and eat someone.

-Blackarachnia doesn't like it. She tries to appear indifferent and unaffected but every time she hears a scream of terror as the bot catches some unfortunate autobot, she flinches. She's no longer an autobot herself but the act of cannibalism, especially this sadistic example, sickens her. Looks away the entire time.