#the whiplash i feel rn
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nsfw on main i absolutely just got off thinking about christian being my daddy and it was wonderful and it was AMAZING it was CINEMA
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO MY BOY
?!?!?@?$??!?!?!?!?
#IM NOT HATING IM JUST CONFUSRD AND INTRIGUED AND MAYBE A LITTLE JUDGEMENTAL BUT IM LOOKING WITH MY EYEBALLS#i watched rhe secret level thing. still confused. still dont know how i feel. horror pax man?????? yarg#ALSO I THINK ITS GONNA BE A METROIDVANIA????????#pac man#shadow labyrinth#secret level#i love pac man an unhealthy amount im going thru so much whiplash rn
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several sentence sunday
hello! from this post i saw on here yesterday and also the ridiculous would u peel an orange for me tweets
He imagines his heart as a citrus fruit, bright and bursting. This feels like digging a nail into the rind, working your thumb in, peeling it; quick, because this is already a familiar act—so much of loving Buck feels like memory, even the new. Half of what’s inside, the softest, stickiest, most tender parts of Eddie, given to Buck. The way Buck holds and handles with wonder each wedge of it like it’s—maybe not the first he’s ever had, not some Garden of Eden shit with its contorted belief of sin behind wanting and sharing, but like he’s going to savour it for the rest of time, plant the seeds inside that full-of-life place in his own chest. Keep Eddie there, look after this thing they’re giving each other so they can grow: upwards and intertwined and old together. Jesus, has Eddie always been this gross? This kind of giddy-in-love feeling that has every cell in his body vibrating with want and excitement and—joy, isn’t it? Untouchable, unshakeable joy, every time Buck so much as looks at him, never mind the touching and the telling and the loving on. That’s normal at the start of a relationship, Frank had told him. Yes, even an adult one, not a teenage hormone in sight. It’s just—his relationship with Ana hadn’t really had that, even at the start. And his second go-around with Shannon had been fraught with way too much hurt still held onto by them both. Attraction, passion, desire—check, check, and check. But this simple exhilaration, this fucking thrill that runs through him every time he remembers he gets to take Buck’s hand whenever the urge strikes? Every time Buck takes his hand, casual and easy? It’s a rush like no other. But that fades, right? You date for a few months, you live together, you learn, or relearn, every one of the annoying fucking habits the other person has, intimately, and you love them, so much, but the giddiness fades, right? But they’re coming onto a year, and there’s a ring stuffed into the bottom of the pair of Eddie’s socks he’s sure doesn’t have holes in them, and still, still, he thinks of Buck and he wants, giddy. He looks at Buck and the excitement is a full-body thrum. He reaches for Buck and the joy inside him is bursting, demanding, cannot be contained; it spills over and stains them, sticky like his split-open heart. And maybe that’s okay, he thinks, that he gets to feel like this without a deadline. Because if he gets to give it to Buck, press it into his hands and his mouth and the wispy curls at his hairline? It feels like joy is the point, and Buck’s the glowing foundation of it, and Eddie’s ready, actually, to spend a very long time getting accustomed to just how much happiness is his to keep.
idk where this fits yet, might belong to a wip or may write something more around it :)
tagging @onward--upward @eddiebabygirldiaz @housewifebuck @chronicowboy @colonoscopys @rewritetheending @jeeyuns @zahlibeth @anakinfallen @buckactuallys @bucksbignaturals @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @eowon @clusterbuck @try-set-me-on-fire @butchdiaz @transboybuckley @devirnis <3
#feeling not good in many things rn but feeling very Full Of Love abt my friends! would peel oranges for all of ya#wip#also. been a bit wildly up and down lately and my brain feels like a stretched-out saggy rubberband from the whiplash#which is to say. i’m so sorry if im taking ages to reply i don’t mean to be ignoring you i’m just a little all over the place#but i love u and will get it together soon
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talk about the epic highs and lows of 911 abc 😅
#feeling crazy rn and i literally didnt see a single second of the episode#but man talk about whiplash the energies on the dash tonight were hectic 😅#CANNOT wait to catch up this weekend#911 abc
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if you're wondering how i'm taking mizu5
the answer is "badly"
#i feel really sick#idk i already explained my thoughts as best as i could on twt and i'm really upset and it all just kind of hurts rn idk if i can reiterate#four years of build-up right into a devastating cliffhanger that quite literally removes mizuki from the game's real world#and changes her menu sprites and voicelines#and of course the most pressing concerns were not really addressed#and it's just oging to be like this for at least a month#and after all this they're going to segue into akito5 vbs beach episode or whatever like ??????#FUCK YOUR STANDARD EVENT SCHEDULING. FINISH THIS MESS RN HOLY SHIT#i say mess i don't know if it's a Mess (BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKING CLIFFHANGER) it might still turn out well#but sitting with this is making me feeel fucking horrible i can't do it#i don't think i've ever experienced a media going from a source of comfort to a source of discomfort in the span of like 3 minutes#whiplash#i genuinely. hhhhhhhh I FEEL SICK AND THIS ISN'T A FUNNY HAHA JOKE#if i knew how to let myself cry i'd be crying a lot rn#sega pay me for emotional damages
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does this mean Vessel’s ascension is imminent
God I love how cryptic this is
#They truly know how to control their fan’s emotion#Feeling like whiplash going from being worried because of what’s going on#to whatever this means#Please tell me this means ascension is imminent#I love Ascensionism sm#It’s my favorite song off the album rn#sleep token#sleep token vessel#sleep token band#sleep token iii#sleep token worship#sleep token ii#sleep token iv
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my mom stop making comments about her dieting around her child with an ed challenge
#impossible edition! apparently!#to be fair. I haven’t told her it bothers me. but it bothers me#like I don’t have diet trauma or anything like that bc I’ve never been on a diet or felt pressured to lose weight (thankfully)#but she’s on this diet rn that she likes but just feels so evil to me bc it’s literally a ‘points’ system#like certain things are more points than others bc they’re ‘unhealthy’ so she’s constantly counting how many points are in everything :/#like girl I know you have genuine concerns about your health but. god. how do you live this way#how does this make you happy.#idk it just gives me such whiplash when she’s being all encouraging ab me gaining weight and eating whatever I want#but then being SO critical of her own body and so open about how she shouldn’t eat too much bc it’s unhealthy 🥰#like girlllll you are perpetuating the system girl pleaseee#tw ed mention#gem don’t look#sorry for ranting about this it’s just frustrating
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not me coming out of my wee depression hole to celebrate new stills for a game that's been in development for a long time rip...I see big bad wolf husband I get excited...but now I must go back still not quite 100%
#ri rambles#ever feel like#when shit happens in rl#you gotta get your rl situated first#THEN whats going on online#felt like i had whiplash and was scared to wake up and find something else happen#but im okay#just really fucking tired rn
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CRUNCHY.
#this & aespa’s whiplash are my coping beats rn#also hope by the chainsmokers!! which i am legally required to obsess over once a year#sometimes all a guy needs is texture#the texture the texture#i think these songs make me feel the way people who want to bite shiny rocks feel about biting shiny rocks#if you know you know#i guess ??#six copes#yves loona#Spotify
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HE'S BAAAAAAACK!!!!!!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
🤍🖤🤍
#Im vibrating at the speed of light rn#I cant believe my eyes#Ive been losing my shit for a solid hour im literally clawing the walls#Have to stop myself from screaming out loud cuz its 3 am#Gravity is the only thing stopping me from breakdancing on the ceiling#Yes im going full hysterical cuz he's BACK#OG ANTI-VENOM!EDDIE IS FUCKING BACK#Im going to explode#I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH AND HES BACK#AND DRAWN BY COELLO???!!?!?!!!! IM EATING#HES SO GODDAMN GORGEOUS I CANT#AND FLASH IS THERE!!?!? AS HIMSELF AGAIN!!?! NAKED??!??!!#THEYRE TOGHETHER?!!??!!? SMILING AT EACH OTHER???!?!?!!!#This is. Perfect. Its perfect. Hes perfect. Theyre perfect#I never would have believed this could actually happen#I had no hopes of him coming back#What is this#And whats this fucking timing#The world is falling apart and thats when my ultimate blorbo dreams come true?? The fuck is happening??#Ive spent the past few days in a state of emotional shutdown. Completely dissociating. Only just started to actually feel stuff again#And then THIS hits me outta no where??!!?#Cranking my joy from 0 to 100 in .5 seconds#The emotional whiplash has me actually reeling#Nothing feels real rn#And while joy feels almost...inappropriate at a time like this#Fuck it#Im not gonna deny myself happiness rn#Tag rant
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I'm still thinking about the Winter Palace and I love that you can just dance with the Dread Wolf in your bloodstained armor after Celene gets brutally assassinated because frankly, same.
#every time i reread TME i feel so validated killing her and puppeting gaspard#i dont care what it does to orlais i care that she dies#my mood is whiplash rn between winter palace shenanigans and the evanuris kidnapping nanna and orana
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I don’t get them too often anymore but I got one of those “hope this gets updated soon” comments in my inbox which like/ I get it. I want my fav fics too update too. But it was especially annoying and depressing bc I’m already frustrated with myself for not writing much/not updating any of my fic this weekend after I Finally got back into a better writing habit. And it was just. Not a pleasant weekend all around for mental health or personal accomplishments. So like. Yeah. Idk
#I probably sounded like a dick in the reply but uuuugh I tried to be polite#and thank them too#bc comments are nice#but it was a whiplash of ‘OH COMMENT!! SEROTONIN!!!’ and then immediate feelings of failure#which I know is my own issue and I gotta deal with it#but uughh#also I wanted to do something really important life-wise this morning and I didn’t do it bc I was scared and nervous and also fucking tired#so#Mianmian is just having a Shit Time outside of work rn#work is going great which is good I guess#*big sigh#sorry to be depressing on the dash tonight guys#cross talks#personal#I may delete this#I don’t really like posting stuff like this but I need it off my chest
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buck and eddie could kiss this season.........................................................
#it's feeling so plausible to me rn which feels like whiplash because i had literally zero faith a year ago#what do i even do. if this happens#actually i literally cannot think about this seriously too much lest i lose my mind#shut up hanna
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🎨 🖼️ 🌈 🩹 🧍🏽💡 🔮⚡️☄️
How Can I Be Sure by The Young Rascals
previous ⏪ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist
Special Features
Will Won't Believe Mike Has Feelings For Him, Until Mike Unpacks EVERYTHING!
#byler#stranger things#bizarre love triangle playlist#will byers#will's pov#will in doubt still pining his heart out#i would expect nothing less#'how can i be sure. in a world that's constantly changing. how can i be sure. where i stand with you'#this entire song centers on this question which i think fits really well with what will's feelings about mike the night el left#bc mike has been giving so many mixed signals over the last 24 hrs#one minute he's ignoring will then he's suddenly upset bc will's ignoring him then he's lashing out at everyone then he's closed off#there's also this other layer of anxiety for will obviously that mike knows about his feelings#and i say this bc this is how the average fan interprets these scenes: ie 'will is gay and mike is awkward bc he knows how will feels'#and that's bc this could arguably be will's pov we're getting or at least his worst fears in these moments of confrontation#so will now having to grapple with the concept of mike also being hurt about will not reaching out... will: *scratches head*#if anything will thinks it's obvious mike knows how much he cares for him (as he has fears mike knows they go beyond care)#the whiplash this gay kid is experiencing rn i can't imagine#even despite maybe having hope in the past i do think will is under the assumption mike is straight as an arrow#and yet they're still best friends (or at least will hopes they are)#so where do they stand?#'whether or not we're together. together we'll see it much better. i love you. i love you forever. you know where i can be found.'#'how can i be sure? i'll be sure with you'#despite all this uncertainty. in the end will still wants to be there for mike and be a team#and how convenient will feels this way when mike feels the exact same? (in more ways than one....)#4x03#gif
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these tags are from forever ago but like i am so court romance au brained rn.
#Shitpost#like.#flynn and ahazuya becoming the only two allies who feel they understand anything#because the Chevaliers sure as fuck dont seem like it anymore. Because they sure do seem to probably be why Akira died maybe!!!#Ahazuya suspecting his own bio parents and Flynn suspecting these people he so trusted#and like the whiplash of two factions splintering into three#the prentices on one side largely unknowing. Flynn and Zuya. And the Chevaliers#or the CDF shall i say ;)#yeah im sorry im making posts that no one has the context to understand#except yarra#im sorry im very court romance brained rn#court romance
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