#I never would have believed this could actually happen

[moonstruckme]

Hello icon ✨Could we have a poly!wolfstar x reader where she thinks that they are mad at her for something (or they could actually be a bit miffed) and it just a bit of hurt comfort with cuddles and kisses at the end😔🙏🏻

Thank you for requesting <3

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader ♡ 1.3k words

You’re being weird. 

The three of you are doing a puzzle, which usually captivates your attention but never Sirius’, which is how he’s so very aware of how little attention you’re actually paying to the puzzle. You keep glancing at Sirius, at Remus, like you’re nervous about something. You’ve been like this all day. It’s in and out, sometimes waning like you’ve forgotten to be anything but normal, but Sirius has a keen gauge for tension. He can sense it every time it ticks back up.

You’re pretending to look for sky pieces, though Sirius suspects you forgot what color the sky in your puzzle was a while ago. He feels like you’re building to something, and it makes his skin itch. Remus is too absorbed in his tree bark pieces to notice—the nerd—so it’s up to Sirius to get it out of you. Luckily, James has always said that Sirius is a master of tact. 

“What’s wrong with you?” 

You were halfway to sneaking another glance at him, and you react as though you’ve been struck, jumping a little where you sit on the rug by the coffee table. “What? Nothing.” 

“Well, that was very believable.” Sirius smiles to take some of the bite out of it. “Come on, you have me on the edge of my seat. What’s got you all worked up?” 

“I am not worked up,” you insist, though your expression says otherwise. 

Remus appears confused, but he notices your guilty eyes as well. “What’s happening?” he asks.

“Nothing,” you say again. 

“Clearly something,” Sirius counters. 

Your lips press together, corners downturnt. You’re not looking at either of them.

“Hey.” Sirius softens his voice. “What is it? You’re freaking me out, babe.”  

This only seems to distress you further. “I wanted you not to freak out,” you say.

“Sweetheart, about what?” Now Remus sounds worried too, though the look he gives you is more patient than anything Sirius could ever manage. He ducks his head to catch your gaze. 

After a moment of looking at him, your shoulders droop. “Okay.” Your voice has quieted. “Just a second.” 

Sirius’ anxiety ratchets as you stand, going down the hall towards your room. 

“Why does it feel like she’s going to bring us back a school report?” he murmurs to Remus. 

Remus shakes his head, gnawing on the inside of his cheek. “No idea.” 

When you return, it is with papers, though Sirius doesn’t at first know what they are. 

“This came this morning,” you say in that same resigned voice, laying them down on the coffee table as you sit back down next to Sirius.

With Sirius and Remus on opposite sides they can’t both read the text at once, and Remus picks them up first. Sirius spots you bringing your hand to your mouth and reaches for it silently, drawing it away before you can start chewing your fingernails. Your nervousness is making him nervous. He pushes his thumb up the lines of your palm. 

“Oh,” Remus hums. 

“Remus,” Sirius says, in a tone that clearly communicates if somebody doesn’t start talking I’m going to throw a wobbly. 

“It’s the gas bill,” says Remus. He’s making his old man face, where he leans away slightly and squints like he needs glasses. Ordinarily Sirius would tease him for it, but he’s not in the mood. “Bit high.” 

“I’m sorry,” you say in a small voice. 

Sirius looks at you. Frowning, your hand still trapped in his. “Why are you sorry?” 

“Is this…” One glance at Remus, and it’s clear Sirius is now the one lagging in understanding. “Is this because you left the oven on?” 

Your expression says enough. 

Oh, well. In fairness, Sirius had thrown a bit of a wobbly over that. 

It was weeks ago. You made cookies just before bed. They were warm, gooey, the perfect precursor to sleep and an excellent excuse, in Sirius’ opinion, to trade chocolate-flavored kisses until all three of you were snoozing on your pillows. It hadn’t been until he and Remus were making breakfast the next morning that Remus smelled the gas. You’d come out of the bedroom, confused, to find them throwing open windows and calling the fire department for advice. Your gas oven had been left on all night. 

You felt awful. Your boyfriends gave you an appropriate amount of shit for it, but it was only thoughtless, not malicious. Your apartment hadn’t blown up. The smell drifted away within a few minutes, and in all honesty Sirius was left feeling a bit bad that what began as you trying to make them all happy had resulted in you being so thoroughly chastised. But it had been let go. 

Until now, evidently. 

“I can pay it,” you offer meekly. “The difference, or all of it.” 

Remus sighs, rubbing his brow. “Dove…” 

“Let me see that.” Sirius reaches with the hand not holding yours. Remus gives it to him. He finds the total quickly. “This isn’t even that high.” 

Okay, it’s a bit high. But genuinely, Sirius was expecting worse. 

“It’s my fault,” you mumble. 

“Baby, is this what you’re all wound up about?” Sirius sets the papers down to gawk at you. “Really? I thought something happened.” 

You’re shrinking, your hand tense in his. “Something did happen.” 

“Yeah, a whole month ago!” 

“Sirius,” Remus murmurs, in a tone Sirius knows to mean you’re not helping. He asks you, “Did you think we would be angry with you?” 

Spiderweb cracks spread through your expression. Your mouth wobbles. 

“Oh, you absolute moron.” Sirius grabs for you with both hands, hauling you into his lap. 

“Pads.”

“You ridiculous, sweet idiot.” He kisses your head. Once, twice, three times. “Why’d you have to go and get all worked up? You got me worked up, silly thing.” 

“I’m sorry,” you say weakly. 

“Alright, that’s enough apologizing,” Remus says gently. Underneath the coffee table, a socked foot bumps into Sirius’ leg before presumably finding yours. Sirius grins. Remus is tactile in the oddest ways sometimes. Like a cat. 

He loves you both so very much. God, you really had him going. He feels liable to squeeze the life out of you. 

He satiates the urge by kissing you all over your face until you look significantly less upset. You look at Sirius with tentative relief, the beginnings of a smile curled up in the corner of your mouth. 

He’s about to ask you again how you could be so stupid, but Remus speaks first. Probably for the best. 

“It really won’t be so much more for each of us once we split it,” he says, looking again at the bill. 

That guilty look is back on your face. Sirius gives you a squeeze in hopes of banishing it. “I can get it,” you say. “It wouldn’t be there if I hadn’t been so…if I hadn’t left the oven on.” 

“You don’t need to punish yourself,” Remus tells you. “It’s all right.” 

You fidget. “I feel like you should probably be angrier with me.” 

“We already have been angry with you,” Sirius points out. “We got over it. Time to move on, babe.” 

“It was a mistake.” Remus’ gaze is steady. Knowing. “It was scary, but it happens. You shouldn’t be angry at yourself for us, lovely.” 

You look to be gnawing the inside of your lip. “Are you sure?” you ask. 

Sirius scoffs. “I can be angry without anyone’s help, thank you.” Then, at your wary look, “But I’m not angry about this.” 

Slowly, the tension Sirius has been sensing seeps out of you. You relax in a way you haven’t all day long. 

Remus notices, too. “Sweetheart,” he sighs, in a soft, fond voice. “Talk to us next time, okay?” 

“I know, sorry.” You give him a sheepish look. “I was going to. I just really thought you’d be upset.” 

“Yeah, well.” Sirius kisses your head, sharing an eye roll with Remus. “Shows what you know.”

[jack-of-heartstrings]

Oohhhhhhhh my God, you are absolutely right on every account but now I am... also picturing how that would actually go...

Can you IMAGINE Adrien being sat down to that news, with not only Ladybug, but Nathalie, Kagami, Felix... I'm still not sure if Placide ever actually knew about it but imagine if he did or if they told him first to ask for extra support in the group thing here.

Imagine if this happens AFTER their own reveal. Imagine if it's coming from MARINETTE, who he by then knows is also Ladybug, or if she admits her identity ALONG with this, for some reason...

I think the BEST CASE SCENARIO would be to tell Adrien AND ALYA and maybe a few other trusted folks at the same time. I think if Alya was ALSO there, and hearing it for the as-far-as-she-remembers-first time alongside him, seeing at least one other person shocked and horrified alongside him would make a world of difference. I think Alya's utter outrage on his behalf would be comforting in a way he wouldn't realize he needed otherwise, but that she would be just reasonable and far enough from the problem enough to help keep him grounded, too. To call everyone out on how messed up this was but to begrudgingly understand why they all struggled and respect that they are making the effort now, and help emphasize that to Adrien as someone who was not in on it herself. As someone he can safely believe would have told him immediately.

Because WITHOUT THAT, can you imagine being sat down by nearly every important person in your life to tell you something this big, and that you were— at least as far as it feels in the moment— the only one who didn't know. That ALL of them let you believe such a huge lie, like you're some fragile little doll they're afraid of breaking, after how the man whose honor they lied to protect treated you all your life.

You thought you were finally free to live for yourself and make your own choices, and it hurt like hell that it took something like this to reach this point, but you thought understood. You thought he really had been doing it to protect you, that he was being coerced by some outside force. You thought there was reason to believe he hated how much he was forced to put you through. One of the last things you ever heard him say, when he didn't know he was talking to you, was that he believed you were very happy. Under the lie, you'd wanted to believe that, that he was doing the best he could under the circumstances.

But no. Everyone is STILL making choices for you. Also you basically WERE made to be a perfect little doll, and a lot of those choices you took as you just being really averse to disobeying, or even you "just" being irrationally terrified, were never choices at all. You were his puppet, and Nathalie's, who was his sidekick by the way. And now you have to question your whole life before, too. Even your beloved angelic saint of a mother, she wore that ring; were you ever her puppet, too?

You might be inclined to think they're all the same, that none of them ever really saw you as a person once they knew what you were, but Felix and Kagami are right here and they didn't respect you any more than the others. Even they both got to know and thought you shouldn't.

Like...

Guys I am TERRIFIED that Adrien can now destroy memories. I am TERRIFIED that they chose to reference Chat Blanc in new ways in THIS episode of all things. I am terrified of the episode opening with them emphasizing everyone being able to use their powers over and over, and following that with Adrien wishing he could have a normal life where nobody knows him. And I hope to God we can have Alya and maybe like Luka and Su-Han or something finding out alongside him but I'm not sure even that would necessarily help.

Our biggest saving grace is that Adrien gets sad so much easier than he gets mad, but when he DOES get mad, or even panicked, well..... His feelings do tend to get destructive... 🫠

it's wild that Alya would actually hate Marinette if she learned the secrets she'd been keeping from her. I--I actually don't know what to say, I'm so shocked by the fact that she stayed mad the whole time she remembered the secret.

[etherealrin]

꩜ .ᐟ blue.

summer 2006.

you know, you and satoru both do, that you're not supposed to be enjoying it this much. this whole beach trip in okinawa, all of this sightseeing—none of it was really for your pleasure nor enjoyment.

riko amanai looks at you thoughtfully. "something up?"

"nope! let's keep going!" you fake a smile, dragging her back towards the shoreline where the ocean was ravaging the sand.

"eek! it's cold!" the black haired girl cries, cringing at the sensation. you'd have to agree, squeezing her hand in reassurance.

out of the blue, you're both rudely splashed by a truckload of the frigid water.

"SATORU!" you exclaim, turning to stare at the white haired male, currently sniggering with glee. suguru stands next to him, an obvious accomplice by the sight of the huge dragon which had caused the wave.

"you'll never get us, losers!" the two boys had run too far along the seashore for you and riko to have any hope of catching—and even if you did, satoru would surely turn on his infinity.

not that he'd turned it off since leaving riko's school. you can sense it in his eyes, how they're just a little bit duller. he must be dead exhausted underneath that facade, you know it.

his gaze catches yours, and as if by fate's intention, suguru and riko are called away by kuroi, leaving the two of you alone. you walk to him, sand shuffling under bare toes. satoru is oddly quiet, eyes never leaving you for even a second.

"you gonna stop staring? it's a bit awkward for me, y'know?" you lightly punch his arm when you finally reach him, sighing.

"it's weird, isn't it? to feel this normal. gives me a bad premonition, actually." his fingers are fidgeting at nothing in the air, now looking up at the blueness of the sky.

you're standing shoulder to shoulder but it feels like there's an impossible distance between you two. he seems distant, lost in the world of his own thoughts somewhere far away.

"what are you thinking about?" you question softly. "i know you might believe you have to handle everything by yourself, because you're the strongest or whatever, but that's just your superiority complex talking." that gets a chuckle out of him. but he still doesn't feel like the satoru you know.

"what i'm thinking about, huh?" he falters, pale hair ruffled by the salty breeze of air. you swear you can hear both his and your heartbeats, drumming in sync. "i'm thinking—well, imagining, that we fell in love on a day just like this, by the ocean."

when the words leave his lips, you suddenly see it. everything he imagines, you want to believe so badly.

"is that what you wish for? that we were regular humans?"

"sometimes." it's a confession from the strongest. "but mostly no. i'd hate to be weak," he feigns disgust in an attempt to joke.

you can't stop the smile from spreading across your face, reaching both hands out to capture one of his. satoru stiffens immediately, impossibly blue eyes widening.

so he did turn off his infinity for you.

"it's alright. like you said, you're the strongest, right?"

the glimmer of the ocean's waves reflect across his face, painting him aquamarine. the moment is so blue, in both emotion and color.

if you could have said it then, you would have told him instead that he could leave his heart with you. you'd keep it safe for him, and your love wouldn't ever falter. that the universe would always bring you two back together.

but you don't. you can't, knowing that if something ever happened to the either of you it would only hurt even more.

instead, you allow him to rest his head against you, quietly praying to a higher that everything would be okay, listening to the soft splashes of the water.

a/n: this is the beach scene in hidden inventory yes! gojo art is by @ shachi0515 on yt!

ılılılılılılı now playing: blue by yung kai, blue by keshi (do we sense a theme here?)

masterlist. can be read as a continuation of this fic!

[hotchnerwrites]

Can I perhaps request Hotch with a BAU reader that is always kind and strong as in the team have never seen them act any different even when bad things happen to reader. One day, an UnSub breaks into their house, and reader ends up very injured and goes to the hospital. After that situation reader co.es right back to work acting as if it never happened and the team gets very concerned about reader but reader keeps telling them everything is fine until one day Hotch and reader are the only ones left at the office late at night and something happens that triggers reader making the think the UnSub that broke into their house is back to get them. Hotch comes out and sees reader having a major panick attack/flashback, but the moment the reader spots him, they try to act like they are not bothered. Hotch ses right through it and hugs reader and reader just breaks down in his arms

What Remains

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x BAU!reader

Word Count: 0.9k

Warnings: SFW, panic attack, home invasion, depiction of violence, flashbacks

A/N: Hi lovely, thanks for your request!! Just changed the beginning a tiny bit, I hope that's ok!!! I hope I described the panic attack with decent accuracy lol, idk if my own experience is similar to that of others. I really loved this idea. If you'd be ok with it, I would honestly love to make this request a full story, a lot longer with more development. Anyway, enjoy the read, and I really hope you like it!! Mwah mwah mwah <3

My requests are open. Send me stuff! :)

It happened fast. Much too fast.

One moment, you were arriving home after a late night, and the next, glass shattered, and your front door was thrown open before you could react. You had put up a struggle— shadows shifted in the dim light, your heartbeat pounded in your ears, and terror clouded your judgement. The training had kicked in eventually. You remembered to protect your abdomen and go for soft tissue.

But you weren’t invincible.

This one had the element of surprise on you. A sharp pain bloomed across your ribs as he threw you against the wall, air leaving your lungs in a strangled gasp. You didn’t back down— you clawed and scratched and screamed at everything around you. But nothing could stop the world from going black when he pistol-whipped you across the temple.

——

They were all there when you came to. Every member of the team. 

Morgan was draped across a chair, eyes filled with worry. JJ sat on your bed, fingers lightly grasped onto yours, with Emily right behind her. Garcia was next to Rossi, fidgeting with her glasses as if she’d rushed there in a panic. Even Reid was there, book in hand, though he wasn’t reading it. 

And, of course— Hotch. Removed and distant, watching from the door. But his eyes remained sharp as if tracking every micro-expression on your face, cataloguing every tiny shift in your posture and breathing.

You forced a smile, ignoring the pain lashing up your sides. “I’m fine,” you had said, voice scratchy from disuse.

The team exchanged glances. No one believed you.

“You went through a home invasion,” Rossi rumbled, “That’s not something you just brush off.”

You shrugged— wincing slightly— forcing out a chuckle. “I’m alive, aren't I?”

Hotch’s jaw tightened. “That’s not the point.”

“I’m really all right,” you repeated with some finality, shutting the conversation down. But you could feel Hotch’s gaze boring into you, even though the others reluctantly let it drop.

——

You returned to work too soon. The team knew it. You knew it.

But you had to. Because if you stayed at home, it meant thinking about what happened. It meant hearing the mirror fracturing, the door slamming, and the rasp of your voice as you screamed for your life. You couldn’t let the fear win. How many times had you said that exact thing to the family of a victim?

So you forced normalcy. Maybe if you said you were fine enough times, you’d actually start believing it. You smiled at Garcia’s ramblings, entertained Derek’s teasing and exchanged theories with Reid.

Eventually, the team forgot. They trusted you were better. You were starting to believe that, too.

But Hotch wasn’t fooled.

He watched you like a hawk, day in and day out. He noted how you avoided talking about the attack, the way you tensed when you heard the word ‘home’. He watched you as you acted the role of someone who had moved on.

He wasn’t buying it.

——

The panic attack hit when you least expected it.

Some stupid sound triggered it; you had no idea what. It could’ve been anything— a door creaking or a chair shifting. Whatever it was, you suddenly weren’t in the BAU anymore.

You were there again. 

The office disappeared. The air was thick, suffocating you as it forced itself down your throat. The walls of your apartment were closing in around you, and you could feel everything and nothing at all. 

Your breath hitched. Your vision tunnelled. Your fingers trembled violently as you gripped your chair to ground yourself. But your body betrayed you, kicking itself into high drive. Your ribs hurt again, the phantom pain searing across your skin like he’d thrown you into the wall all over again.

Then— “Hey.”

A voice. Familiar, dulcet and steady.

Aaron.

You flinched as he neared you, brain oscillating between past and present, fear and reality. But he stopped a few feet away, palms exposed towards you, body language careful and measured.

You suck in a breath, “I’m— I’m fine.”

His brows stitched together. “No, you are not.”

“Please, Hotch. I just— I just need a minute.”

He didn’t move. He just watched. Waiting, letting you decide.

The minute wasn’t nearly enough. In an effort to normalise your breathing, you’d begun hyperventilating. Your head was spinning. This wasn’t working. You weren’t okay, and Hotch knew it. Before you could wave him off, he closed the distance between you, carefully placing his palms on your shoulders. 

The warmth was grounding. Aaron was real. Aaron was solid. The phantom touches crawling across your skin were not.

“Look at me,” he murmured, voice soft but authority evident.

You did what he said. You had no energy to protest. And one look into his coffee-coloured eyes was all it took. The dam broke.

You gulped cool air in, breath catching on a sob you hadn’t meant to let out. But you persevered, taking one breath after another. Aaron didn’t say a word. He didn’t tell you to relax, to calm down, or force you to speak. He just held you, anchoring your consciousness to the present.

Minutes passed, maybe even hours.

When your heartbeat finally settled, Aaron spoke again. 

“You don’t have to keep pretending.”

Your fingers curled around the fabric of his shirt, crumpling it. “I can’t stop,” you whispered.

Aaron’s grip on you tightened, ever so slightly. “Then let me help you.”

For once you didn’t argue.

Thank you for reading!I appreciate any likes/comments/reblogs/follows. Constructive criticism is welcome. Do not plagiarise my content and/or post it anywhere without crediting me.

Dividers by @/cafekitsune

[cinnabar-circus]

2023 | 99

[workingonasongbird]

I'm in mixed minds about this because on the one hand, SOTR does give what we know about Annie's Games the potential to be another rebellion attempt, but on the other hand, some of the information doesn't really add up.

The key things we supposedly know about Annie's Games are that the dam broke after an earthquake, flooding the arena and allowing Annie to survive as the strongest swimmer, and that Annie had some kind of complete mental breakdown after watching her district partner be beheaded.

If Annie's Games had happened a longer time ago so that Katniss and Peeta would have had to rely on the edited recap tapes to know what happened, I would be more inclined to believe that the 70th Hunger Games might have been more than what the trilogy suggest them to be. But as the 70th Hunger Games were quite recent and clearly not very popular as Annie kind of faded into the background, the information we do have on them is more likely to be what Katniss and Peeta remember from watching the Games streamed live.

Peeta is the one to give us all the information on Annie's Games in Catching Fire. At the time, Katniss was preoccupied with trying to feed her family after the death of her father. But Peeta was likely paying quite a bit of attention that year because the 70th Hunger Games was the year Katniss and Peeta turned 12 and became eligible for the reaping for the first time themselves. Even if Peeta wasn't in the Games that year himself, we know from his note taking in Catching Fire, his interviews, and the way he acted in the 74th Games that Peeta really pays attention. He knows how to play the Games and how to play them well, so I wouldn't be surprised if he spent a lot of time studying them from a young age.

(This turned out to be a longer post than I expected. A lot more under the cut. SOTR spoilers included.)

But let's say for argument's sake that Peeta didn't remember the details of the 70th Hunger Games. Finnick definitely would, and do you not think that if the love of Finnick's life had previously been involved in a rebel plot he might have mentioned it at some point? It makes sense he would keep quiet in Catching Fire, but in Mockingjay when the Capitol aren't watching and all he can think about is Annie, Annie, Annie, I find it hard to believe that he wouldn't mention it.

Then there's what we are actually told about Annie herself in terms of the rebellion:

“Oh. Good. Because I worry about that with Annie. That she’ll say something that could be construed as traitorous without knowing it,” says Finnick.

“Well, they didn’t arrest her because they thought she’d be a wealth of rebel information,” he says. “They know I’d never have risked telling her anything like that. For her own protection.”

These quotes don't exactly scream that Annie herself was ever an active rebel before widespread uprisings broke out in Panem. If she was, Finnick would know about it, especially because she relies on him to help her differentiate between falsehoods and reality. If she was involved in a rebel plot in her arena and Finnick didn't know about it... that's a massive and potentially dangerous thing that she could easily get very confused about.

It's possible that if there was a rebel plot in the 70th Hunger Games, Annie wasn't the chosen tribute to carry it out, but I do think that is unlikely. Mags - a known rebel - was probably her mentor, so Annie would be an easier tribute to communicate plans with, and getting a tribute from another district to blow up a dam and cause a flood is going to take a lot of persuading because tributes from the other districts generally can't swim. Blowing up that dam on purpose for anyone not from 4 is effectively suicide, and I don't think every tribute is willing to be as self sacrificing as Haymitch and his allies in SOTR.

Which brings me on to the flaws in the dam being part of a rebel plot itself. Blowing something up in attempt to cause a flood is a tried, tested, and failed rebel idea that the Capitol are aware of. Even if the greater public aren't aware of what Haymitch did, Snow and the Gamemakers definitely are, and a lot more precautions would have been put in place over the years to make the arenas impossible to tamper with from the inside. Another flood seems like something the Capitol might catch on to pretty quickly, and if Annie started to act like she even had the idea to tamper with the arena, I think the Gamemakers might have taken her out pretty quickly.

The idea that the dam breaking has to because of some kind of rebel plot or outsider influence (like the theory that Finnick slept with a Gamemaker to convince them to break the dam to try to bring Annie home) is an interesting one, but it doesn't have to be the case. Gamemakers do make mistakes. We're told about whole arenas that were either flat out boring or great in theory and then poorly executed (like Wiress's Games). The earthquake breaking the dam could have been a miscalculation on the Gamemaker's part. Or it could have been intentional as a way to wrap up a Games that might have been going on too long.

As for Annie's mental illness: she witnessed a beheading. That's a super traumatic thing to go through, to which experiencing a psychotic break and long lasting severe mental illness as a result is a very realistic response. Not everything needs to be super significant to the rebellion effort for it to affect someone severely. Sometimes people are mentally ill because they are mentally ill rather than because the plot demands it, and that's okay.

"Oh, but Haymitch saw Wellie's decapitated body and he wasn't super traumatised by it!" shush. Haymitch is hardly a paragon of mental stability, and different traumas affect everyone differently.

I've seen some arguments that the recap of Annie's Games might have been edited to make her look like she was hiding for most of her Games to cover up that she was actually defying the Capitol (especially because that does make for a pretty dull recap, and the Capitol usually avoid dull Games at all costs). And while that is definitely possible, victors have won just by hiding before. (Exhibit A: Wiress).

But despite the slightly lengthy argument I've just made, Annie potentially being a rebel IS an interesting idea, and one that I will continue to think over until the day I die.

we know Lenore Dove didn't die of appendicitis, and Mags didn't have a stroke. Gale isn't Katniss's cousin, and Haymitch's house fire wasn't an accident.

so.

did Annie Cresta ACTUALLY "go crazy after she saw her district partner beheaded"? or was there something more? Suzanne get ur pen back out NOW

[gothamhappiness]

The nightclub (Jason Todd x f!reader)

Hi everyone! I had a little cute idea about a girl wanting to open a nightclub on Red Hood's territory, and the man is quite interested in doing business with her.

Hope you'll enjoy these headcanons <3

Warnings: no proof reading, mentions of violence, of injuries, of assholes trying to steal your nightclubs, mentions of drinking alcohol, one or two strong words.

When you opened your nightclub, you did it on Red Hood’s territory.

You were a girl, you weren’t a villain surrounded by goons and you knew that Gotham would eat you up if you didn’t go somewhere safe. And for you, Red Hood’s territory was the safest place.

You didn’t care what the media, Batman and cops could say about him. You knew Red Hood was a good guy. Yes, he killed people and was a crime lord, it didn’t change the fact, you believed in him.

You were a smart girl so you asked to meet him for some business affair. You had to beg his goons to give him the message you needed to talk with him. You couldn’t start your business without being certain that Red Hood would keep your nightclub safe. 

For a couple of nights, you felt eyes on you, but you weren’t afraid. It didn’t feel malevolent.

Then some of Red Hood’s goons found you and brought you to his “public” base. You sat down on a sofa that had seen better days. But you barely noticed it because the infamous Red Hood was sitting right in front of you, his mask peering into your soul. You didn’t dare to speak for a little while, as you were looking at each other.

“So, you wanted to meet me” Red Hood finally spoke and you heard the slight annoyance in his voice “I’m a busy man, so if it could be quick, it'd be nice” he told you and you found yourself nodding

“Thank you so much for having accepted meeting me. I know you you do have a lot of work… Actually I’m here because I want to do things the right way... with you.” you explained

“What do you mean?” he asked, getting curious now

“I want to open a nightclub, but because of the concurrence and because of people like the Penguin, I need to do it somewhere they can’t reach me and my future clients… And this place is on your territory” you told him

You saw that Red Hood was getting interested because he leaned closer to you.

“Go on” he instructed you

“I’ve got the name for it, I even got enough savings for buying the abandoned nightclub of your territory, but I need your approval. I need your protection. Of course, I understand how things work and I can give you some percentage of the business, every month” you told him

“I don’t need your money. But I’d be happy to have somewhere fancy for my own business meetings. And to not have to pay for my drinks” he told you and you brightly smiled at him

“Of course! You agree with the plan, then?” you asked, just to make sure and Red Hood nodded

“Yeah. You can start working. Let me know when you’ll open, so I’ll be there too” he promised you

You did as you were told.

You worked hard for several months because there was a lot to do to make the place suitable. It had been abandoned for so long. 

You got worried about money at some point, you were even about to ask for a delay for paying the firms working on your club. But someone paid them for you. 

One day, some men came and tried to scare you off, as the restoration work was almost done. They wanted to force you to give them the nightclub. They even took a gun out. You told them the place was under Red Hood’s protection and they exchanged a look before laughing.

They told you they wanted all the paperwork done when they would come back in the evening. You nodded, to not get shot.

But you didn't prepare the paperwork, you simply found one of Red Hood goons and told him about what happened.

And the men never came back.

The night of the opening, you had invited Red Hood like he asked you to. You were excited because there had been a lot of ads for your nightclub and you heard people were eager to come. You were also excited because you got Red Hood an office and a booth all for him.

You hoped he would like it.

The first night was a success beyond anything you could imagine. Even more when Red Hood showed up.

You quickly walked to him to greet him. You started to show him around, especially what you had done for him. After a little while, you both sat at his booth with drinks.

“You did good” he praised you and you brightly smiled at him.

After that, your nightclub was also known as Red Hood’s hot spot because the man came almost every night, for a drink, for talking business with other people, for working in peace in the office you got him or for flirting with you.

You didn’t mind the attention and you were quite happy to have him around. You never dared push your luck with him. But you still got a phone number you could call him at and you had a few beepers under some counters and into your office so you could ask for his goons to come and check on you.

Sometimes, you looked after him too. When he was too injured or dizzy to go anywhere else, your nightclub was the easiest place to find. You would settle him in your flat that was just above your nightclub - Red Hood bought you the whole building after a year, as a “reward” for doing so well.

He trusted you.

At some point, he even let you discover his real identity. It was then things started to evolve between the two of you. You two weren’t anything official, but Jason wasn’t particularly interested in anyone else and you either. You were happy with things that way.

You were the only person he trusted, and he was the only person you would call if you were in trouble.

Everyone knew better than to fuck with you or with your nightclub. You were off limits. The few assholes who tried anything against you, got a very pissed off Red Hood after them.

You realised how everyone was aware Red Hood was spending a lot of time in your nightclub - with you - when Nightwing and Red Robin showed up one night.

Your bartender quickly called you from your office. You greeted the two men with a polite smile. You weren’t afraid of them. It was probably because you were accustomed to Red Hood’s presence, so no one could impress you anymore.

The two vigilantes were looking for your protector and you weren’t too keen on helping them, until they started to talk about the Joker. You didn’t want Jason to take any risks, but you knew he would be mad at you for not having called him.

You excused yourself and called Red Hood to let him know what the vigilantes just told you. Nightwing and Red Robin swore they never reached for Red Hood that easily and quickly before.

After that, whenever the Batfamily needed to find Red Hood or to talk to him, they knew it was easier to go through you.

The first time Batman showed up at your nightclub, you really wondered what your life had become.

And you were quite proud and happy with yourself.

No need to say that with the official protection of Red Hood and the unofficial one of the rest of the Batfamily, your nightclub and yourself were the safest place and person in Gotham.

--

Masterlist

--

Taglist for all my work <3

@blublock404

@wind-canoe

@silverklaus

@couldeatthatgirlforlunch

@tatsuri-zomushiki

@navs-bhat

@randomnamedmira

@winterhi09

@murkyponds

@qardasngan

[endless-ineffabilities]

take a shot. 🥃

bucky barnes x reader (x steve rogers)

You, Buck, Steve. The three best friends that anyone could have. But when one ran late to a hangout, the other decided to take his fuckin' shot.

masterlist

You did not think super soldiers could get drunk.

In theory, they should not.

Even a gallon of tequila would burn fast and quick with their inhuman metabolism, the effects of the alcohol rendered moot.

And so, as you sat cross-legged on the beloved carpet in your barely furnished living room, you found yourself wondering if Bucky was only putting it on, or if he was well and properly shitfaced.

Hell, how many shots had he downed? Twenty? Thirty? Were you even still on the fourth bottle?

If he was drunk, then you might as well have been near-comatose. But you held yourself up pretty well. Much to your surprise. Granted, you've only had a mere 4 shots to Buck's potential 44 but... hell. Credit has to be given where it's due.

"So, yeah, yeah..." you slurred. "That's how that went. Story of my fucking life, eh, Buck?"

"What did you say again? Wha... Good luck on—"

"The date! I told Steve, 'Good luck on your date.' You know, because I'm such a good friend. The best."

"And then he...?"

"Then... then he smiled, you know, that soft and unassuming Steve smile?" Your voice became wistful and full of wanting, and Bucky could only hum in response. He had seen that smile hundreds of times, and never in a million years did he ever think his heart would sink at the thought of it.

But it did. Because he was jealous. Why couldn't you speak of his smile in the same way?

Probably because his was much rarer, something that springs unexpectedly. Bucky was not known for being a ray of sunshine, not at all. But he smiled around you, and not the polite lip-quirk kind — full smiles, all stretched, blue eyes crinkling.

Maybe you just didn't notice. Or, who was he kidding? Maybe you did, and just didn't like him enough to admire him the way you do Steve.

Bucky had to remind himself to tune in as you rambled on, your melodic voice breaking through his pathetic introspection.

"Then he said that he actually got dressed up all nice for me... I couldn't believe it, Buck, me! We went on our first official date that night, and the rest is history."

You beamed at him, awaiting something, anything. He should be happy for his two best friends. He should playfully clap you on the shoulder, prompting that adorable nose scrunch that you do.

Instead he said, "You know something, darling? Sometimes I wish it was me you wanted."

Bucky blanched. He must have died, bombs going off and eviscerating the state of New York, because there can't have been any chance of those words flying out his mouth in this lifetime.

His pounding heart proved him wrong. Along with the warmth surging in his system as you gazed at him wide-eyed, your lips softly parted in surprise.

"Darling, I —"

"Bucky, I — "

Super soldiers can get drunk, in some sense of the word, only if they allow it. The amount that would have a normal human punching well above a 0.40% BAC, might just be enough to make someone like Bucky slightly tipsy.

If he let it. And so he did.

He moved quickly, before he could even contemplate the stupidity of his actions.

Then Bucky felt you, your somewhat chapped lips soft against his. Motionless at first, until he pushed his tongue past your teeth, and melded it with your own.

He knew what was coming, who was coming.

Steve had been held up, racing across the city. Bucky could already hear his sure stomps climbing up the old stairwell of your apartment building.

Yet Bucky didn't stop. How could he?

"Wait, Bucky, we can't — "

"Uh-uh," he chided you, smirking. "Just kiss me. Please. It's all I ask."

His blood rushed down, down, awakening a part of Bucky that may just be too much for polite society. That graceless, careless casanova who would gladly rip the skirt off of his best friend's girlfriend. That very dame who he also happened to be in love with.

When Bucky kissed you again, his ears picked up Steve's steady heartbeat down the hallway. The keys to his motorbike jingling in his pocket. The sweet smell emanating from a bouquet of peonies he brought you.

All those heightened senses, and not a single one saved Bucky from falling for you.

Or from what came next.

"What. The. Shit."

[takenbypeter]

Pastry Shop Stop

Matt Murdock x reader

Words: 609

Part 2 of suspicious activities of a blind man, it’s just a lil blurb nothing too fancy but figured I’d add a little more to the story. Maybe there will be a 3rd part who knows 👀

Here’s part 1 for those of you who haven’t read it: Part 1

After that initial interaction at the bar it didn’t take long for you to see Matt again. 

Actually it only took two days before he actually was in the shop that you worked at. 

It was silly but you felt a bit of excitement when you saw him standing at the end of your line, it was like that feeling you felt when a special guest that you really liked appeared on your favorite television show. 

Although you tried your best to calm yourself you did feel a bit anxious as he made his way to your counter.

Pulling yourself together you said the normal greeting. “Welcome to our little shop, what can we get for you today?”

You heard him let out a single chuckle, “well I’m not too sure I can’t exactly see the menu.”

“Ah, right.” Trying to move past your own blunder you began to list out some of the delicacies. From danishes, to eclairs, you listed each item. 

“That’s an overwhelming amount of options,” he said after you’d finished. 

“I know.”

“What’s your favorite?”

The questions surprised you a bit, a good surprise. You hesitated giving it a good thought before ultimately coming up with an answer, “I like the cinnamon buns. They’re warm and delicious and they’re pretty filling.”

“I’ll take three cinnamon buns, one for each member of my team.”

“Alright, that’ll be twenty ninety-five, and I’ll put those in right now.”

After giving him his change and putting the order in, you turned to him again. He was now the only customer in the store. 

After a moment of staring at the man while you both waited for your coworker to finish his pastries, you tried to fill the silence that no doubt only you felt was awkward, “is it bad that I’m still not completely sold on the whole blind thing?”

His lips tugged, revealing his teeth as he laughed, almost like he was glad you wanted to banter with him. “What am I going to have to do to prove it to you?”

You looked up contemplating what it would take before blurting out the first thing you could think of, “I don’t know, fight me.” And for a moment you feel you went a bit too forward as he grew quiet before he laughed again. 

“You’re funny.”

“Thanks I try.”

You shared a look before your eyes widened, “Wait, does not believing you make me ableist?”

Matt tilted his head, “I think it actually does.”

“Oh no, does that make me a Karen? I don't want to be a Karen.”

“I happen to know a pretty great Karen.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it, Matt Murdock.”

Matt’s lips never dropped from their curve. He liked the way his name sounded coming from your lips, but that didn’t stop his eyebrow from lifting. 

Sensing what he was about to question you pulled out the card that you had in your pocket. “This card fell from your friend’s pocket, I did some research and found you guys online.”

Matt couldn’t help but feel a bit of pride that you were curious enough to search him up.

He opened his mouth to say something else but your attention was grabbed by the motion behind you. 

“And here are your cinnamon buns. Let me know how they taste.”

“Will do.” Reaching up with one hand he takes them and smiles offering you a wave. 

“Bye, Matt Murdock.” You shout behind him before the front door shuts. 

Eyes fixed on him, you watch as he crosses the road. 

Still there was something strange about him and you didn’t know what. 

[twstfanblog]

Oki Doki, I know that this may sound a bit charged, and you can tots ignore this if you want to, but I wanted to just throw this in there

The overblot boys with an anarchist reader/Yuu. They simply don't like nor understand the reason for a hierarchy and don't believe that one person should be in charge of a whole kingdom, be it a hereditary "god given right" or not. They got mad at their society that failed them back on their world, and are very hesitant to trust the boys due to their status, since they don't know if TWST's ruling class is different from the ones back at home.

That's all, take care, hydrate

Overblot Boys React to Anarchist Reader

Overblot Boys & Reader

Riddle

Why would you start this fight with him?

This boys entire spine and personality is built on the concept of rules and hierarchy, the concept of anarchy is madness to him. And not the good kind. He firmly believes that a governing body is simply a byproduct of forming a society. You can't have one without the other.

Debates. He will be there every time you start talking about your societal ideals and how you believe things should be. It's entertaining for others to watch because even with Riddle's character growth, he believes in there being a governing body that works for the betterment of the people. Period.

Though with your debates, he starts to learn more about anarchy and the actual ideals of it. He does find the idea of a direct democracy to be appealing, but he also runs a dorm full of people whose first choice is chaos. He needs to be the voice of absolute authority.

Leona

Why would you do this to yourself?

Leona goes against the grain himself, so he'd understand the appeal of anarchy. Plus if you talked about your world's messed up ruling class with him, he'd completely understand your stance. Leona, self-serving as he is does believe that the ruling class should look out for everyone under them. And if they aren't, change needs to happen.

That means nothing, he will still debate you on it. Leona is a good leader, wild as his dorm may be. But he doesn't believe a completely ungoverned society is something that could be achieved on a larger scale. Small communities can operate as anarcal societies easily. But the more people you add, the higher the number of variables grow. He finds people too easy to manipulate.

He agrees with the concept of anarchy, but he will debate you on whether the practice of it would actually be plausible for a real society. Savanaclaw can self-govern itself, but it's also prime for internal conflict all the time.

Azul

He's from the sea, thats the closest thing to a functioning anarchist system he knows. They still have a royal family that filters through their requests and works to keep the kingdom happy. But, whatever happens in the water, stays in the water. People kind of do as they please with the only threat being someone bigger and badder coming along.

But even with that system, they still have a ruling class of royalty and nobility. He can't really wrap his head around the concept of actual anarchy. Voluntary services are still a service; that's still a group of people commanding some type of respect for their actions.

There are no real laws in the sea, and people maim and murder each other pretty freely down there. Land society is much more...safe compared to what he and the twins grew up with.

He thinks it's kind of cute that you want anarchy. As if more than half the students in the school wouldn't instantly choose murder and deceit to get through life if they didn't have someone to answer to. Octavinelle is a dorm of cunning and shady people, trusting in the goodness of his fellow men isn't something he knows.

Jamil

He'd lowkey look at you like you're dumb. He'd never say you are, but he's looking.

Even bottom of the pyrimand he is, Jamil believes in there always being someone above someone else. He's not as power-hungry as he was before his overblot, but he very much still dreams of being 'above' others.

While Jamil deeply understands your stance, he thinks instead of throwing the whole system out, you should first try to fix the system you have first. If its truely beyond saving, then yes, start over. But true anarchy isn't something he finds possible.

He feels even if you get rid of the old system, you'd simply form a new one. It's human nature. Certain people are better than others, offer skills no one else can. That gives them a sense of power and they then gain authority on how they choose to share those talents. Government systems come in many forms for a reason. It's human nature to form heirarcy. Scarabia is a political battle field, people follow Kalim because his family is rich and influential with all they've done to help their community through trade.

Vil

What are you talking about???

Are you're gonna look this benevolent queen bee in his perfectly winged eyes and say that you don't believe hierarchy and governing bodies are needed for a peaceful society? It's 11am, what are you smoking?

Of course, someone has to be in charge. That's just how things get done. Tiebreakers are a thing for a reason. Yes, he understands that your world's system has failed you. It was a shitty system. But, the idea of simply having no one in charge isn't possible. People who govern are charismatic and persuasive. They lead with words and logic, something that people follow.

He believes, even in an archarchy, someone will rise up as a 'Voice of the People'. People can be easily influenced. It'd be easy for someone pretty or silver-tongued to rise above and place themselves as a ruler of smaller communities. It's basically what Pomefiore is, Vil proved himself to be the best at what everyone in the dorm strives for so he is their leader.

Idia

Sounds cool, what do you do what the crazy people?

Insensitive, but he's kind of serious. Like-minded people group together, that includes people with less-than-savory ideals than others. If everyone is on an equal playing field protection and decision-wise, with the only thing they have to fight back is numbers, that can get dangerous real quick.

It's basic MMO rules. Newer players latch together to protect themselves from older players who make a habit of picking off newbies as soon as possible to maintain a sort of control over areas.

He trusts the idea of the system, he just doesn't trust the people in it. People are too easily cruel to someone they deem weaker because he's guilty of it himself.

Malleus

He lowkey can't even really understand how it'd even work.

Briar Valley is a small-scale society land-wise, but Malleus rules over an entire species. The very idea of there...not being a hierarchy is laughable to him.

Hierarchy in the Fae is purely power-based since it's in their nature to do as they please anyway. The only way to get them to listen is to simply be stronger than them. As such, the strongest of whatever fae speaks for all of them. Their whims are normally the same anyway, doing whatever they please.

His family has ruled as an absolute monarchy for literally millenia. To not have a ruling class seems odd to him. Who makes the choices? Who sorts the concerns of the citizens? Who decides what and which issue is more important? Who will mediate conflicts between opposing parties?

[crowwolf]

This is Kitalia - She's a bit creepy, pretty - SHORT 4'11", and tiny at about 90 lbs - and made of pure chaos. She's 1/2 mixed up fey ancestry, 1/4 wood/Sylvan elf, and 1/4 unknown... She's a shadow sorcerer/bard

1. How would they define love if asked

They wouldn't really know. Kitalia was brought up in an extremely harsh way, rescued eventually, then raised in a way that they thought would make her wily and independent. No physical show of real love, no words of love, just survival of the fittest and I'll check in to make sure you're alive.

2. When someone says "this is [character name] coded," what comes to your mind

A mix of Kit Deluca from pretty woman, Harley Quinn a la Suicide Squad, and a manic pixie

3. if somebody told the character that they admire them what would they feel and how would they react to it

Kitalia would laugh her ass off - literal tears, grabbing her belly, full on can't even talk laugh. She doesn't believe anyone would ever feel like that towards her.

4. How much weight do they give to others' opinions of them

Acts like she gives zero fucks. Internalizes it ALL. Full of inner voices screaming at her.

5. When bad things happen, do they usually think it happened to them or because of them.

All because of her. Always because of her. All her fault.

6. How well do they cope with the reality of their mortality

Welllll...this is a tricky one. I don't want to give too many spoilers, but suffice it to say she doesn't. She's old. Way older than she looks. Younger than folks like Raphael, but older than Halsin old.

7. How easily and frequently do they ask for help

She doesn't. Ever. Asking for help would show she can't survive on her own, her caregiver would consider that weakness. Once she is finally settled in a loving life and is finally comfortable enough she will ask occasionally - but this is centuries of not doing that, so it will take time.

8. What is their perspective on religion and the concept of God

LOL that's a loaded question. She's BG3 universe - Gods and Goddesses are real. She's ambivalent about them, hates some, has a deep love for a certain one - but not a worshipful love.

9. When in pain do they take it out on others or do they keep it inside She will internalize it until it's bursting out and end up taking it out on others - usually someone she picks as an enemy, but often anyone nearby.

10. Their most defining moment vs your favorite one of them

Meeting her bff. In the modern Au that's Ryldinn, @vera-king-hrfl 's OC. They are obviously not related, but fuck if they don't act like twins that were never separated. They have their own hand language and everything. These two bonded hard. In regular BG3, I'm HC that my girl gets with @vera-king-hrfl's other OC Max, the half-orc - bffs turned lovers. Which is hilarious. Giant half-orc, tiny crazy fey lady.

11. One word they'd use to describe themselves, one you'd use to describe them and lastly a word that their closest/loved one would use to describe them

Chaos. Kit would probably say free. Loved ones - um, would be two words - ferociously loyal/loving (once she's bonded to them)

12. How committed are they to their principles, and what might get them to abandon them

LOL um, well, she'd never hurt a kitten so I guess that's something. The only thing she is committed to are the ones who have somehow managed to gain her trust and love - she would never abandon or compromise on that, even on pain of death

13. Is there a moral line they would never cross

See above - if it doesn't involve loved ones, she has zero fucks

14. What could be considered as their worst moment

Absolute worse moment for her would have to be being rejected by the one who has her heart after all this time or her *perceived* rejection - they may be trying to propose awkwardly but she's no compass in regards to interpersonal shit and would think they were leaving her...she'd break. She'd run off before they could actually make their point and they'd have to try to find her. Which would require help because she's been raised to basically be a chameleon when it comes to hiding. She's epic hide and seek material.

15. Do they have a stomach for violence and harm and if so do they only do it out of necessity or at any whim

LOL She's chaos - you hurt someone she cares for - verbally or physically, doesn't matter - she will FUCK you up. Short fuse for anyone not in her inner circle.

16. Do they idolize anyone, if so why is that

Her grandfather - he was her caregiver, the one who checked to make sure she was alive, but left her to fend for herself - finding her own food and shelter. Occasionally he would stay for extended periods to teach her new killing methods, new fighting skills, new languages, new anything sneaky and assassin like (she's not an assassin). Getting her to show him her latest magic or songs. He will praise her but is very biting in any criticism - his vision for her is make her tough, fast, invisible. That's it.

17. How open are they to change their viewpoints on matters

Depends on the situation. Most times - she goes with the flow...unless it's something she's fierce about, then not at all

18. Are they vengeful or do they easily forgive and forget or do they not forgive but don't go as far as acting on that

She absolutely holds a grudge and has a long LONG memory

19. What's their strongest emotion, the one which mostly rules them and compells them to action

Devotion. Once she has her found fam - her devotion to them will make her take the dumbest of risk. She won't care about living or dying, as long as her loved ones are safe.

20. Are they more inclined to take or give

Give. She wants nothing (she thinks).

21. How much do they prioritize their own survival, and what lengths would they go to for self-preservation

Girl was raised to hide and watch the shadows - she'd sit for days without food or water before moving if there was a threat big enough. BUT once with her found family - she prioritizes them...oh wait, basically the same.

22. What is their relationship with their body like She doesn't really think about it. It's her survival engine. I mean, she knows she's objectively attractive, but was extremely abused as a young child and has a disconnect between what her body means.

23. How connected do they feel to their community and society

Not at all - except her found fam

24. Do they self harm and if so in which way

Unintentionally - see survival instincts above. She was starved as a child and her growth stunted, she doesn't always know when she's hungry, but when she has access to food - watch out. She has the metabolism of a hummingbird and can out eat most people twice her size - but has to do it over a period of time. She's tiny = small stomach. If she eats too fast, she'll vomit and be in pain, so she learned to eat small portions a little at a time. This can be extremely difficult when always trying to stay hidden away and quiet. Once with her found fam - she's constantly got food in her hand or pockets - they'll even start carrying snacks for her in case she gets hungry and has nothing. It's the only way to keep her healthy.

25. What's the worst physical or mental pain they've ever endured

When she was very young, her father's best friend slit his throat in front of her and stole her away for nefarious purposes - physical, mental, sexual. She's a long lived person - maturing is slow. She was FAR too young for any of it. Eventually, the abuser let their guard down and the spell they used to shield her from her living family faded enough for her grandfather to rescue her. Grandfather of course slaughtered the abuser, and did at least take her somewhere relatively safe-ish to heal physically. She doesn't remember her father, though if she did she'd know he loved her deeply and was amazing. She never healed mentally - not properly, not ever - the abuser had her for decades. It's absolutely a large reason she's chaos - if you asked me her alignment - I just say chaos, there is nothing else. She does what she does to live, to protect herself, her loved ones and that's that.

26. How do their family and their relationship with them influence their perspective and the way they navigate life

She never had real love in her life - not the true I want what's best for you and won't ever force you do to shit type of love. It's crazy to her - and once she has it, she guards it as the most precious of treasures. Physical items are meaningless to her - she was always homeless - having things, meant carrying them wherever she went and that was pointless. So having a home, a family - mind blowing. She'll sometimes have panic attacks when she thinks on it too much.

27. Are they content with their sexuality and gender expression? would a difference in their sexuality and gender affect their role in the story and if so how

My lady is pan and is who she is. She'll fuck whoever she wants but doesn't really understand people being emotional over it. Until she has her family and learns love - that makes her see it...

28. How much importance do they place on their appearance, and on others' appearance

LOL none - she gives zero fucks. Astarion insists on dressing her because she would happily wear rags. BUT she'll sit with him and Shadowheart to judge what the patriars are wearing.

29. What criteria do they use to assess others' character

Will they hurt and/or kill me? If no - yay! If yes - kill them first.

30. Do they take themselves too seriously

Never.

31. How easily do they forgive themselves after making a mistake and how easily do they forgive others

Kitalia doesn't forgive herself, she makes herself correct any mistakes if she can, and if she can't - she carries on. Others - that's a loaded one. If it's her fam - it depends on what they did. If it's someone outside her inner circle, well - they FAFOed.

32. Are they more concerned with the bigger picture or are they hung up on the details

Neither really. Maybe the smaller details - best place to find food, best place to hide, best place to protect.

33. Do they prioritise other people's needs over their own or the other way around

Found family first, then her, then others if there's time

34. What do they believe their hands were made for

Magic and music

35. Do they consider themselves lucky or privileged

nope

36. What is their level of emotional intelligence and social adeptness

LOL the depth is an inverted pool...poor woman, she has zero clue socially and emotionally so stunted she makes tweens look mature. She understands herself more than people think, but social cues and reading emotions - nada.

37. Presented with three different ponds offering eternal health, strength, or wealth, which one would they choose to drink from, they can only drink from one

Health

38. In the event of an apocalypse with only one limited safe haven available, whom or what would they prioritize bringing along

Her loved ones - which are very very few...

39. If they could end one thing—be it a person, ideology or misfortune—what would they choose to eradicate

Poverty - no one should have to dig through trash for food.

40. Would breaking their heart be a quick task or would it require significant effort

It would be quick and brutal

41. Are they comfortable expressing their emotions and thoughts

Not at all.

42. If given the chance to bring back someone from the dead, who would they choose and why

Her father. She's been told he loved her deeply just because she was his daughter. She doesn't even remember his face.

43. With whom or when do they feel most authentic and true to themselves

Alone with her significant other(s) - absolutely no one else around.

44. Do they believe they are more in control or being controlled (by others, their circumstances or their life in general) and are they correct in their assumption

Neither really. She knows she's not really in control, but she's so much chaos that no one can ever truly control her.

45. What is their fatal flaw

Her extreme loyalty to her found family - she would kill herself to save them. Also - her complete lack of care for herself.

46. To what extent does shame or guilt influence their psyche.

Her psyche is damaged from decades of abuse...not really sure she understands either emotion - but once with her found family they help her to recognize and cope (as much as she can) with them. Her youth was stolen from her so she feels no shame or guilt for those decades - but when she does, she buries it deep until it comes out in nightmares.

47. If they were an object, Which material(s) would they be made of Spider silk - incredibly strong, but fragile

48. What gets them out of the bed each morning and how obvious is that motivation to those around them

Survival - once she's with her found fam - they do. She's not totally dependent on them for that, but they give her more of a purpose in life that she lacked

49. Do they believe there's a cause, person, or a goal worth sacrificing their life for

Her family

50. If faced with a magical mirror revealing their deepest fear and greatest desire instead of their reflection, what would they see and would they be surprised by it

Greatest fear would be being alone forever. Greatest desire - just *being* with her loved one(s)

51. What does responsibility mean to them and do they embrace it or take it on reluctantly

Responsi-what? Yeah - it's reluctant - she's utterly clueless to *normal* life shit.

52. Does their race significantly shape their personality or is it more of a background aspect

It absolutely shapes everything about her - her lineage is insane (in variation of fey creatures and other), it's a smorgasbord of characteristics and eccentricities that make her who she is. IF she had been raised by her father, she may (big MAY) have been more stable - understanding more of those around her. But her upbringing, and DNA have made her just a hurricane in a body

53. How entitled do they feel to others' emotions, time or labor

Not at all. Never even want to be perceived as needing anything from anyone.

54. Are they more likely to do a good deed if they know it will be noticed or do they not care about acknowledgment

Nope - zero fucks given. If they do something good it's because she wanted to.

55. Do they live in the past, the present or the future

The present - she has to.

56. How do they go about making decisions: do they consult a particular individual, rely on a trusted group, consider input from anyone willing to share or solely trust their own judgment

On the fly in the most chaotic nonsensical way possible. Once in a place of trust - her bff or s/o

57. How likely are they to intervene if they witness something illegal or immoral, If they choose to get involved what method do they typically use, Does their eagerness to correct the situation and their approach vary depending on the perpetrator's status, closeness or strength

I suppose it depends on the act - if it's against a child - she will intervene. Children and animals. If it's anything else she doesn't even bat an eye. If it's after she's in a secure place - well, it would depend on the situation.

58. When it comes to hope do they view it as: impractical or necessary and why is that

She doesn't understand hope until she's with her people - her found fam. Once she's in that place hope becomes an absolutely necessity.

59. Do they tend to overwork themselves

Nope

60. What type of smart are they

Kitalia knows most languages of Faerun - and some from Feywilds, and others - she is very intelligent BUT she was never taught to read and has ZERO interest in learning. She's very old - so, yes, some things she can read just via exposure to them - city signs, street signs - shit like that. She can read a map in that she understand the design of it and has a superior sense of direction. But let's just say Gale of Waterdeep is flabbergasted by her complete lack of book knowledge. However, she can chat the ear off near any race. She has a musical ear as well, which is probably part of why languages are so simple for her - she can pick anything up by ear. In modern parlance, she would probably have been called a prodigy - but she doesn't care - it's just another skill she learned to survive.

61. If they could make people do whatever they wanted without any consequences, would they use that power and if so how

um, leave her and her loved ones alone and feed her all at once. She's really not complicated

62. Which of the following do they have the hardest time accepting: affection, money or help

That's a hard one - she doesn't really get money. She's lived on the outskirts of civilized society and usually takes/steals what she needs sometimes making money by busking (bard) but is easily fleeced because she can't read and doesn't understand money well at all. BUT she will not ask for help either - which means it's just a continuing vicious cycle until a certain group swoop in and bring her into their fold.

Characters/OCs asks

1. How would they define love if asked

2. When someone says "this is [character name] coded," what comes to your mind

3. if somebody told the character that they admire them what would they feel and how would they react to it

4. How much weight do they give to others' opinions of them

5. When bad things happen, do they usually think it happened to them or because of them

6. How well do they cope with the reality of their mortality

7. How easily and frequently do they ask for help

8. What is their perspective on religion and the concept of God

9. When in pain do they take it out on others or do they keep it inside

10. Their most defining moment vs your favorite one of them

11. One word they'd use to describe themselves, one you'd use to describe them and lastly a word that their closest/loved one would use to describe them

12. How committed are they to their principles, and what might get them to abandon them

13. Is there a moral line they would never cross

14. What could be considered as their worst moment

15. Do they have a stomach for violence and harm and if so do they only do it out of necessity or at any whim

16. Do they idolize anyone, if so why is that

17. How open are they to change their viewpoints on matters

18. Are they vengeful or do they easily forgive and forget or do they not forgive but don't go as far as acting on that

19. What's their strongest emotion, the one which mostly rules them and compells them to action

20. Are they more inclined to take or give

21. How much do they prioritize their own survival, and what lengths would they go to for self-preservation

22. What is their relationship with their body like

23. How connected do they feel to their community and society

24. Do they self harm and if so in which way

25. What's the worst physical or mental pain they've ever endured

26. How do their family and their relationship with them influence their perspective and the way they navigate life

27. Are they content with their sexuality and gender expression? would a difference in their sexuality and gender affect their role in the story and if so how

28. How much importance do they place on their appearance, and on others' appearance

29. What criteria do they use to assess others' character

30. Do they take themselves too seriously

31. How easily do they forgive themselves after making a mistake and how easily do they forgive others

32. Are they more concerned with the bigger picture or are they hung up on the details

33. Do they prioritise other people's needs over their own or the other way around

34. What do they believe their hands were made for

35. Do they consider themselves lucky or privileged

36. What is their level of emotional intelligence and social adeptness

37. Presented with three different ponds offering eternal health, strength, or wealth, which one would they choose to drink from, they can only drink from one

38. In the event of an apocalypse with only one limited safe haven available, whom or what would they prioritize bringing along

39. If they could end one thing—be it a person, ideology or misfortune—what would they choose to eradicate

40. Would breaking their heart be a quick task or would it require significant effort

41. Are they comfortable expressing their emotions and thoughts

42. If given the chance to bring back someone from the dead, who would they choose and why

43. With whom or when do they feel most authentic and true to themselves

44. Do they believe they are more in control or being controlled (by others, their circumstances or their life in general) and are they correct in their assumption

45. What is their fatal flaw

46. To what extent does shame or guilt influence their psyche

47. If they were an object, Which material(s) would they be made of

48. What gets them out of the bed each morning and how obvious is that motivation to those around them

49. Do they believe there's a cause, person, or a goal worth sacrificing their life for

50. If faced with a magical mirror revealing their deepest fear and greatest desire instead of their reflection, what would they see and would they be surprised by it

51. What does responsibility mean to them and do they embrace it or take it on reluctantly

52. Does their race significantly shape their personality or is it more of a background aspect

53. How entitled do they feel to others' emotions, time or labor

54. Are they more likely to do a good deed if they know it will be noticed or do they not care about acknowledgment

55. Do they live in the past, the present or the future

56. How do they go about making decisions: do they consult a particular individual, rely on a trusted group, consider input from anyone willing to share or solely trust their own judgment

57. How likely are they to intervene if they witness something illegal or immoral, If they choose to get involved what method do they typically use, Does their eagerness to correct the situation and their approach vary depending on the perpetrator's status, closeness or strength

58. When it comes to hope do they view it as: impractical or necessary and why is that

59. Do they tend to overwork themselves

60. What type of smart are they

61. If they could make people do whatever they wanted without any consequences, would they use that power and if so how

62. Which of the following do they have the hardest time accepting: affection, money or help

[writingwithciara]

across the hall; part 10 -quinn hughes-

summary: y/n moves in across the hall from quinn and in an emergency, she leaves her five-year old daughter in his care

word count: 1.3k

pairing: quinn hughes x reader

notes: only one more part after this one. thank you guys for coming along on this ride with me 🥰

the conversation never came.

neither of them really cared, however. with christmas happening, they were both suddenly super busy.

and shortly after christmas, was abby's 6th birthday so whenever y/n had free time, it was going into making sure her daughter had the best birthday ever.

by mid-january, everything between them was back to normal with an occasional flutter of feelings from both sides. but they swept it under the rug.

at least, that's what y/n thought.

exactly one week before abby's party, y/n was asked to work a double shift. normally she would hate them but she needed the money if she wanted to give abby the party of her dreams.

by the time she got home, it was well past midnight so she wasn't surprised that the apartment was so quiet. however, she was surprised to see a light on in abby's room. so she ventured down the hallway and stopped in the doorway to take in the sight before her.

quinn and abby were curled up in abby's little bed together. quinn was holding a fairy tale book in his hand while a crown sat atop his head and a feather boa was gently wrapped around his neck. his feet were hanging way off the end of the bed.

y/n pulled out her phone to take a picture. it was something she truly wanted to cherish. she also needed something as proof of the very moment she decided to stop fighting her feelings for him.

~~~~~~~~~~

the day before the birthday party, y/n tried to send money to everyone involved with the process. but each money transfer was declined. everyone claimed they were happy to help out, but y/n had a suspicion something else was going on.

so she called jack. he answered after the 2nd ring.

"hey. what's up?"

"hey. do you know anything about why the caterer, decorator and everyone else involved with abby's party keeps declining any payment from me?"

"i might. what's in it for me if i tell you?"

"the title of abby's absolute favorite uncle?"

"already have it. next."

"actually, i believe she handed that title over to brock before christmas."

"what? i'm gonna have to talk to this evil dictator at her party tomorrow."

"relax, jack. she's 6. she's far from a dictator."

"well, then i'll have to have a little chat with the princess tomorrow."

"yeah you will." y/n smiled. "now, what can you tell me about the payment declines?"

"quinn paid everyone like 2 months ago. i thought you knew."

"what? why would he do that?"

"he didn't want you to stress about it. he wanted to do something nice for you guys."

"he's already doing something nice for us. he's letting us live here with a severely reduced rent for a vancouver apartment."

"well i guess he just really wants you to be happy then. i'm not sure." jack chuckled. "oh. he told me that he got abby that toy she's been talking about for the last few months."

"how did he manage that? it's been sold out basically since it went on the shelves."

"i've said too much. sworn to secrecy." y/n could hear the smirk through the phone, followed by luke's voice. "hey. i gotta go but i will see you and abby in the morning. bye."

"bye jack." y/n hung up and glanced down the hallway towards quinn's bedroom door.

yup. she was definitely in love with him.

~~~~~~~~~~

the next morning, quinn was awake before anyone else so he decided to make breakfast. he asked abby last night what her favorite breakfast food was and she replied bacon. lots of bacon.

so quinn quickly fried up several strips and threw some eggs in the pan. he was in the middle of grating some cheese when he heard a door open. he glanced up just as y/n walked into the kitchen.

"good morning."

"morning." y/n rubbed her eyes and walked over to the counter to grab a mug but quinn stopped her and handed her a warm mug.

"i already made you a mug. hope you like it."

"thank you." she sipped it slowly. "what's the occasion?"

"well it is your daughter's birthday."

"what does that have to do with why you're making me coffee?" she raised an eyebrow and continued to drink the delicious beverage.

"because i'm a nice person." he shrugged and went back to making breakfast. y/n slid onto a stool at the island and glanced at the tv. of course hockey highlights were playing.

"i know you paid for everyone that'll be working the party."

"what do you mean?"

"don't play dumb with me. jack let it spill last night when i asked him. also, i kinda had a feeling when everyone declined the payment."

"i'm sorry. please don't be mad. i just wanted you to not have to stress about it."

"i'm not mad, quinn. i'm just surprised." she looked at him. "i'm paying you back for it, just so you know."

"the hell you are." quinn pointed his spatula at her and chuckled as she slipped a piece of bacon into her mouth. "you will do no such thing."

"quinn, you're too generous. please let me pay it back."

"i can't do that." he shook his head.

"why not? you're already making it easy with the rent. i feel like i'm taking advantage of your kindness."

"you're not. not even close."

"i'm gonna pay you back, whether you like it or not."

"if you want to pay me back, then just keep smiling. that will do just fine."

"quinn." she began to protest but abby walked into the kitchen. "happy birthday, sweetheart."

"happy birthday, princess."

"thank you." abby walked over to the plate of bacon. "is this why you asked me my favorite breakfast food last night?"

"yeah. wanted to make sure you had a great start to your day."

"thank you. i love you!" she squealed and hugged quinn. he picked her up and continued cooking.

"love you too." he smiled and kissed the top of her head. y/n watched the scene in front of her and felt her heart skip a beat.

she was certainly in deep with her roommate.

a few hours later, abby was sitting with jack and luke as they looked around the party. earlier in the week, they had devised a plan to get y/n and quinn together & their plan was about to be put into action.

"be right back." luke nodded towards quinn and walked over to his oldest brother. jack looked over at y/n.

"ready for this, princess?"

"born ready." abby grabbed his hand and walked over to her mom. "mom?"

"hey sweetie. are you enjoying the party?"

"i am. it's the best day of my life. thank you for setting this all up for me."

"i'd love to accept the credit. but it was all quinn. you should thank him."

"will you come with me?"

"sure, honey." y/n set her cup down on the window sill and grabbed abby's hand. she didn't miss the look abby gave jack as they walked over to quinn.

"hey. are you enjoying the party?"

"i love it. thank you, quinn." she hugged his leg then ran back over to jack.

"yeah. thanks again for all of this. i really appreciate it." y/n looked at him. "i truly do. and i don't know how i'm going to repay you for it all. but i'll find a way you'll aceept."

"i already told you all you have to do is keep that beautiful smile and it'll be perfect payment."

y/n surveyed him for a second before she placed a kiss on his cheek. "you are truly an amazing man, quinn hughes."

"i would do anything for you." he looked into her eyes for a brief moment before he decided the needed to tell her how he felt. "and i love you. like, a lot. more than any roommate should."

"well i guess that means it's my turn."

"what do you mean?"

"i have a confession to make." she glanced up at him. "i love you too. definitely way more than a roommate should."

"wait, for real? you're not messing with me?"

"nope. i'm being 100% honest with you." y/n smiled. "and who wouldn't fall in love with you? you've done so much for me and abby and i know i keep saying that i'm gonna pay you back, but we both know you would never accept any payment. so i'm gonna have to think of other ways to do it."

quinn didn't hesitate & he hoped he wasn't reading her signals wrong when he crashed his lips to hers. she kissed him back almost immediately as she wrapped her arms around his neck. everyone surrounding them began cheering and abby ran up to them.

"are you guys finally together?" she asked and looked up at them.

"well, it's up to your mom. i don't want to assume anything."

"don't you think there's something you should ask me first?" y/n smirked, raising an eyebrow in the teasing way she does, causing quinn to chuckle.

"right." he smiled. "do you want to be my girlfriend?"

"i'll have to think about it." y/n smiled.

"but mom!"

"i'm kidding, abby." y/n looked up at quinn. "of course i'd love to be your girlfriend." and they sealed it with a kiss.

"about damn time!" abby threw her hands up and hugged them both.

"jack, did you teach her that phrase?!" quinn glanced at his brother, who just threw up his own hands in surrender. y/n smiled and rested her head on quinn's shoulder.

"moving across the hall from you was the best thing i've ever done."

----------

tags: @alwaysclassyeagle @justagingerliving @marroonwitch @hwalllllllelujah @lovelyhischier

[thegurlwhoisntthere]

Currently thinking about The Batfam and what Hogwarts houses people usually put them in vs what house I think they’re actually in, Let’s go:

Starting off with Dick Grayson, he’s the oldest and most of the fandom knows him as “the golden boy”! The original Robin and the mother hen mediator of his siblings… he works so very hard to keep this reputation, inside he is a feral feral child. Defo got some anger issues that he shoves down because he blames himself for Jason’s death of reasons. Most people put him in either Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. As an adult, I agree he does fit these houses… however. The children of Hogwarts do not get sorted as fleshed out adults, they get sorted as feral 11 year olds. And 11 year old dick was as feral as they come. I think what house he’s in really depends on what age you think he was when his parents were murdered. The most accepted ages are 8-12, which means that there’s some wiggle room here. Pre-orphan hood I feel like he could swing that Gryffinpuff nature that many people believe him to be. However, if this is after the accident, I believe that it would be a toss up between Gryffindor and Slytherin depending on how long ago it happened. If it’s 8-9 I believe it’d be closer to Gryffindor because he’d have more time to settle into his role as Robin and maybe he’s starting to lean more toward Reckless and fun than “I will murder those that have wronged me” that early orphan-hood brought him. If he was 10-11 and still feeling that rage, then Slytherin.

Next we have Jason Todd-Wayne! Second Oldest… kinda, I think he and Cass are tied. Second Robin and first adopted, Jason grew up on the streets of Crime Alley and his tough skin showcased that. But! Don’t let his past fuel you, this boy is famous for his “Robin makes me Magic” quote (I’m so sorry if that’s not the actual quote, but I’m not doing research this is vibes and past knowledge only) and made Batman wait until he was finished with his homework to go on Patrol. Though Famous for his death, Resurrection and anger issues and murder, once again he did not die until 15/16, so we will be sorting him based on his 11 year old self. Now, honestly I don’t know where most people sort him beyond Ravenclaw because the Ravenclaw people are correct. This man has valued education since the day he was born. Pre-adoption or not, the moment he hears that Ravenclaw has a built in Library he was never going anywhere else.

Down the line we have Timothy “Tim” Drake-Wayne! Third Robin, ace photographer and Detective, he figured out who Batman was when he was 9. I don’t feel like Tim needs much explaination for me to say Slytherin, but I’ll give a bit anyway. It’s commonly believed that as an adult, Tim would be in Slytherin. It’s also commonly believed that the only reason he doesn’t kill is because Bruce doesn’t allow it. At 11 years old, not adopted by Bruce or in regular contact with him at all and criminally neglected, Tim has no super vision, resources, a brilliant mind, and too much time on his hands. When I say he would do anything to get what he wants, or what he thinks needs to happen, he fucking will.

Alright! Next up we have Stephanie Brown! Now I will be so honest, a lot of these next characters I don’t know a lot about them or their backgrounds, so I will be trying my best. This girl has ✨daddy issues✨, her dad is the knock off Riddler: Cluemaster. She grew up in Gotham proper, though I don’t know the specific neighborhood. She donned a mask costume to take him down herself, running into the third Robin, befriending him and eventually takes over for him a bit when his dad’s being a Debby downer. Valiantly refuses to be adopted by Batman. Very tough, very classy, I dub her a Gryffindor through and through… Although she can get into the Ravenclaw common room with ease.

Following her, we’ve got the legend herself Cassandra Cain-Wayne. Raised to be a living weapon by her father and escaped him after her first kill, she was never taught how to speak, only read body language. Found by Barbara Gordon at… 16? I think, she was eventually either taught how to sign and speak or had her brain magically rewired to understand speech and learned it alongside sign then. Again, don’t really understand her personality, but from what I’ve read she has a vicious sense of right and wrong and a mischievous streak just as long and wide and her brother’s, though the adults never suspect her. At 11 years old, I feel like she would find a home in Hufflepuff. She doesn’t quite know who she is, but she’s hard working and vicious like a badger if you fuck with her.

Finishing off the Batgirls, we have the original: Barbara Gordon! Originally Batgirl, now Oracle, I have no idea where people normally put her. I can see her going into any house: she’s hard working and kind like Hufflepuffs, Reckless and Brave like Gryffindor, Cunning and Resourceful like Slytherin, and Smart and Creative like Ravenclaw. I’m leaning toward Slytherin for her as an adult, but I don’t know a lot about her younger self to say anything too definitively. Maybe Gryffindor when she’s young and reckless, but grows into Slytherin more and more? Or maybe just Slytherin through and through.

And now, rounding off the Robins, we have Damian Al Ghul Wayne! Son of Talia Al Ghul and Bruce Wayne, Damian was raised to be the perfect assassin with the disposition and arrogance of a prince. His entrance to the family was rocky, but he’s grown more and more into his place as time passed. If he’s very new to the family at 11, Slytherin without any doubts. Two and a half years and on, I think he’s a Hufflepuff who’s got a lot of Slytherin habits. He was raised to beat down his kindness and natural loyalty, but being with Bruce, Dick and the rest of his family brings it out more and more with each year. So, the longer he’s with them, the more chance I think he has of being in Hufflepuff, though I do believe it’s really just down to him deciding, similar to Harry in the books.

And Last, but most certainly not least, we have the newest member of the family: Duke Thomas! Not yet adopted by Bruce (and maybe never, we don’t know) Duke is the only Metahuman member of the Batfamily. His parents were rendered insane by the Joker when he was young and he was pushed into the system… I think. For probably the fourth time in this post, I’m not as familiar with his character. I know at some point he either started a child gang or was one of the leaders of a child gang called “we are Robin”, so while he never had a Batman as Robin, he did don the symbol at some point. Now I know Duke like Poetry, was kind of a loner before he joined the Robin gang, and that a lot of people debate whether or not he’s chill or just as insane as his other siblings. In my opinion, he’s just as insane, but when he first got to the manor he was kinda nervous and accidentally conned everyone into thinking that he was normal, when in fact, he’s there for a reason. At 11, I believe that his parents had already been Jokered, so similar boat to baby Dick, but I feel like the toss up is between Slytherin and Ravenclaw, rather than Gryffindor (though that was briefly considered). Idk I think anyone who’s part of a child gang is gonna be cunning and Ambitious, but also I’ve read a lot of things where he’s quite creative, good at thinking outside the box, good at writing Poems, and good with Brain teasers, so I think he wouldn’t be out of place in Ravenclaw.

And those are my opinions on the batfamily and their Hogwarts houses. I forgot while writing the post that I could’ve included Bruce and Alfred, so: Bruce is Gryffindor, Alfred is Slytherin and I won’t be explaining that further. Good day and good night 🫡

Tell me ur opinions please please please please ple-

[writingdevil]

hiii! if you're still doing writing requests then may i ask for paracold? i loved the fic you did of them before and how you write the voices in general <3

(YES!! PARACOLD!! I love them, if you couldn't tell. I got straight up possessed the last time I wrote them and I'm actually really proud of how that one came out, so I hope this one will be just as good. Enjoy!)

Paranoid had hoped that once they had been allowed freedom and physical forms, that maybe his fears and anxiety would lessen. But of course, why would that ever be the case?

He thought that things would actually be better for him if he only had himself to worry about, but it became very clear very fast that his mind was a prison.

No matter how peaceful and safe their lives now were, Paranoid's mind just couldn't stop coming up with worst case scenarios, turning every little fear into a wriggling mass of terror within him.

Some instances, he could manage to get under control with a few minutes to himself-remind himself that he was safe, and if that terrible thing was true, then the best course of action was to distrust it, and keep himself and his flock safe.

A lot of his fears came from danger, and the fear of experiencing the trauma he had in the past again, but funnily enough, those were the fears that Paranoid had an easier time with controlling, because he's experienced that type of stress plenty of times now, so he knows how to deal with it.

But then Paranoid was surprised to find that there were other, more emotional fears, that he was now a victim of, ever since getting his own body.

He always cared and worried about his flock, but now he found himself thinking and reflecting on how the others saw him-quite a lot now.

Does Skeptic truly see him as crazy? Is he sometimes too harsh on Broken when he doesn't need to be? Is Hero sick of calming him down after all this time?

While these thoughts plagued him frequently, there was one that continued to torment him every second of the day.

Will Cold lose interest in him?

There was nobody more surprised than Paranoid when he found himself slowly being pulled into Cold's orbit, until the two of them formed an attraction that was both exhilarating and relaxing at the same time.

Cold offered him relief when things got too intense. He didn't immediately see his fears as crazy, instead calmly talking sense to him, helping him see his fears as less daunting than what Paranoid believed them to be.

Cold made Paranoid feel safe and stable when his mind tried to trick him otherwise-along with a million other things he could say about Cold.

But despite how his heart beat wildly for the other bird, the one thing that his mind kept getting fixated with, was the thought of Cold getting bored of him.

Everyone knows what Cold's deal was at this point, how he wanted to seek out the unknown and intriguing, and numb the mundane. Surprisingly, his search led him to Paranoid.

Cold insisted that everything about Paranoid interested him, from how he would conceptualise his fears, to their differing beliefs, and how Paranoid refused to leave Cold in his state of nothingness.

But would that interest fade away with time? What would happen when Cold discovered all he needed to about Paranoid?

Would he leave Paranoid?

That was the current fear that was always eating away at him in the back of his mind, that Cold would get rid of him one day, and all their time together would have been nothing more than measly fun for him.

Every time that they embraced, every kiss that they shared-Paranoid was constantly fearing that it would be the last one, and he would never get a chance to experience those soft moments again.

Paranoid knew it wasn't healthy. He definitely knew it wasn't fair to Cold, to be assuming these things about him, but once the thought entered his head, he couldn't get it out, to the point that it was beginning to taint the happy times he still got to share with Cold.

It got to the point that Paranoid had trouble sleeping-well, he always had trouble with that-but more so with Cold-like tonight, for example.

Currently, it was the middle of the night, and Paranoid's mind was tormenting him once again, and he just stared at a random spot on the wall, waiting pointlessly for sleep as his tired eyes burned.

He could feel Cold behind him, the soft rise and fall of his chest against Paranoid's back, one arm draped over his waist, and his cool breath hitting the back of his neck, sending pleasant shivers down his spine.

Usually being held like this made Paranoid feel safe, but then he started to try and memorise the way Cold's body felt against his own, and then that led to another spiral of painful anxiety.

Paranoid's body felt restless, with a need to toss and turn to try and escape these emotions. But every time he so much as nudged away or even twitched, Cold would just sigh deeply and pull Paranoid even closer against him.

Paranoid sighed in defeat, attempting to shove his face further into his pillow to try and escape his messy thoughts, when he suddenly felt Cold mumble into the back of his neck, "Why aren't you asleep?"

Paranoid froze, trying to ignore what the low, raspy tone of Cold's voice was doing to him, and attempted to act asleep, hoping Cold would believe him, but then he felt Cold shuffle behind him, moving his head to whisper into his ear, "I know you're awake. Your body is as stiff as a rock."

Paranoid sighed, shifting awkwardly in Cold's grip. "Sorry," he muttered, "can't sleep."

"Why? What's wrong now?"

Paranoid tried to hide his flinch at the question, gripping the sheets tight as he said, "Nothing's wrong. I just can't sleep."

Cold chuckled behind him, and Paranoid could feel Cold's gaze wandering all over him, as he replied in amusement, "You're a terrible liar."

Paranoid sighed again, more harshly this time, and twisted his body around so that he was staring up at the ceiling. He refused to look at Cold as he said, "It's the truth. I'm just struggling to fall asleep, but I'll be fine. You don't have to stay awake for me."

Even if he wasn't looking at Cold, he could definitely feel the eye roll of the other, and then Cold's arm squeezed him once as he said, "Hard to fall asleep when I can feel the panic coming from you."

Paranoid turned his head away, but then a wave of icy air hit him as Cold sighed-and then Cold suddenly twisted around and moved to sit up above him and lean over him, grabbing Paranoid by the jaw with one hand and the other holding onto his hip.

Cold gently turned his head to face him, and Paranoid gulped at the sight of Cold's piercing eyes in the dark.

Cold stared down at him in silence for a few seconds, before his eyes narrowed and he asked, "What's wrong?"

"I told you, nothing's wrong."

"It's never nothing with you. There's always a reason why you can't fall asleep, so tell me."

Paranoid gritted his teeth in frustration, but one tap of Cold's finger against his jaw made his muscles relax against his will. Paranoid hated how easy it was to relax around Cold.

They sat there in silence, and Paranoid hoped that he could just wait it out, that if he was stubborn long enough, Cold would lose interest and leave Paranoid to his insomnia-but he didn't.

Paranoid sighed in defeat, and he caught the subtle quirk of Cold's lips, but he ignored it, in favour of looking down at Cold's chest, and quietly said, "There's just something on my mind that I can't stop worrying about."

"I gathered that," Cold said, and Paranoid shot him an annoyed glare. "What's got you worked up this time?"

Paranoid fisted the sheets underneath him, and despite the weight on his chest, he knew that there was no way to avoid this.

He looked at anything that wasn't Cold's face as he hesitantly said, "I've been worrying about something-important, and it involves you, but I don't want you to take it the wrong way."

"I doubt I will." Cold's hold on his jaw loosened up, until he was just caressing it, and Paranoid's eyes fluttered shut at the touch, but before he could fully enjoy it-those thoughts came back.

Thoughts telling him that Cold was only doing this to get him to go asleep, that Paranoid was wasting Cold's time by acting like this, that tonight was when Cold realised that he was too much work to be considered interesting anymore, and end things.

"Hey."

Suddenly, Paranoid was thrown back into reality, and blinked up at Cold, who had leaned further down to him, and was also starting to run his hand up and down his side, comforting him.

"Get out of your head-it's a mess in there. Focus on me."

Paranoid did. He focused on the feel of Cold's soft touches, grounding him to this moment, and Cold even blew a puff of cold air to soothe him-and then Paranoid knew.

Paranoid knew he couldn't keep these thoughts in his head any longer.

"I've been thinking about you, about us, and our future."

Cold was patiently silent.

"I-I-guess I've just been worrying about what will happen in the future."

"What kind of things?" Cold asked, and Paranoid lowered his head in shame. "It's-It's really stupid and dumb-and I know that. But I can't stop thinking about it."

"What is it?"

"What if-" Paranoid paused, taking a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for disappointment, annoyance, or even hurt, from Cold. "What if you get bored of me?"

There. It was out.

The silence was unbearable, and Paranoid forced himself to look Cold in the eye, to try and figure out how he was feeling.

But Cold's face was just blank as he looked down at him, and Paranoid was beginning to think that this was the end-when Cold hummed thoughtfully, and said, "You're right. That is a very dumb thought."

Instead of getting annoyed, Paranoid jumped right to defending himself. "I'm sorry-I know it's wrong to think-I just-"

"You're worried about becoming boring around me?" Cold asked, and Paranoid tensed up at the question, but still nodded. He looked away as he said, "It's just-what if I become predictable and dull to you?" His nerves crept back up in that moment. "You wouldn't want to be with someone that doesn't make you feel anything, and the last thing I'd want to feel like you forcing yourself to do things with me-"

"I wouldn't see a point in pretending to like something with you," Cold calmly argued, and Paranoid still couldn't tell if he was offended or not. "We'd just be wasting each other's time."

A small bit of tension left Paranoid's body at Cold's words. He was right. Cold would never play along for the sake of another's feelings. He did what he believed needed to be done, sparing no one, not even Paranoid.

He found a comfort in that, that Cold would never let them play along in a relationship that was long past dead.

Cold stroked a thumb along Paranoid's jawline, and Paranoid tried not to lose focus in that moment. "So," Cold continued, "I think it's safe to say that I'm not forcing myself to be around you."

"But what if that still happens?" Paranoid nervously asked, trying to move his head away from Cold's grip, but to no avail. "Not the pretending, but the fact that one day you might seek something that I can't give you anymore."

Paranoid suddenly felt tears welling up in his eyes, and he tried to sharply turn his head away, but Cold quickly cupped Paranoid's cheek to keep them facing each other.

Paranoid unsuccessfully tried to bat Cold's hand away, and in a fit of frustration he snapped, "Stop that! You're not helping!"

Cold's eyes froze Paranoid to the spot as he countered with in a low voice, "Endlessly worrying about how our relationship could end also doesn't strike me as helpful."

They locked eyes for what felt like forever.

But Paranoid broke first.

All the fight left his body, and he slumped in Cold's hold, leaning further into his hand.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling utterly disgusted with himself. "I'm sorry for thinking those things about you. I'm awful."

"You're not awful," Cold softly argued, him being the one to avoid eye contact this time. "You're just scared, and you can't help that."

"Would it be so bad," Cold began tentatively, his hand on Paranoid's hip delicately brushing the feathers, "If I lost interest in you? Why does that scare you so much? If anything, I'll just be one less thing to worry about."

Paranoid's hand reached up to grab at the hand cupping his cheek, wrapping his fingers around Cold's chilly wrist. His gaze softened as he took in Cold's-mostly-blank face, but Paranoid could see the darkness clouding in his eyes, and he gave his wrist a small squeeze to get his attention.

Cold looked back at him, and Paranoid felt his face burn as he admitted, "It scares me because then that would mean everything we did didn't mean as much to you. It would make me feel-like you had taken a piece of me and thrown it away, and I wouldn't be able to get it back."

He didn't want that. He didn't want to go through that pain. He's seen the way Broken and Smitten can get, and he's scared of breaking like that.

Cold could have all of Paranoid's pieces, so long as he wishes to cherish them.

Cold's eyes widened slightly at that, and Paranoid wanted to keep apologising, for thinking the worst of Cold, for questioning his loyalty to Paranoid-but before he could, Cold hummed again, getting his attention.

"I mean that much to you?" he asked, and Paranoid couldn't tell if he was asking for clarification, or was genuinely surprised. Either way, Paranoid's heart began to race, and he found that words weren't coming to his head fast enough, so he just nodded.

Then Cold surprised Paranoid by laughing-letting soft, amused chuckles spill out of him, and Paranoid just stared, wide eyed up at his partner, having no idea if this reaction was good or bad.

Cold's eyes flashed with amusement, and he leaned down, close enough that Paranoid could trace the feathers on the other's face, sticking out and ruffled from his slumber, and Paranoid wanted nothing more than to just gently run his fingers through them and preen them back into place.

The intensity in Cold's lidded eyes made Paranoid's breath hitch, as Cold whispered into the darkness, "Well, unfortunately, I find myself captivated by you."

Paranoid's response was nothing more than a hushed breath, "Why?"

Cold trailed the hand that had been at his side, up to his chest, right where his pounding heart was. He shrugged and said, "I always feel like you have the most interesting and useful outlook. My mind keeps going back to you, because I know you'll give me what I want. You feel so much, so much so that you're even in charge of the automatic nervous system. Who wouldn't want to peer inside your mind?"

"But that's just curiosity," Paranoid argued, and he wasn't sure why he was arguing against Cold on their relationship. "Your curiosity will fade, and you'll know everything you need to know. There's only so much of me that can keep your attention."

Paranoid was just terrified of being abandoned, as if he was nothing more than a tool for someone to use, as if he didn't have his own feelings on the matter. Cold wasn't evil, Paranoid knew this, but Cold also never let himself get weighed down by things that he deemed useless.

Paranoid just didn't want to be one of those useless things.

Cold studied him for a few seconds, and then he asked him, "Can you remind me who asked who out?"

The question surprised Paranoid, but the answer still immediately came to his head. "You did."

Cold nodded, rubbing his thumb over his cheek softly. "That's right. I wouldn't get involved with something or someone if I didn't think I could commit to it."

Paranoid looked away, ashamed-but Cold wouldn't let him. He always made sure Paranoid's eyes were on him.

"I'm not mad at you for thinking like that. You've spiralled over less important things. Honestly, I'm surprised it took you this long to have worries about us."

That actually got a chuckle out of Paranoid, and the heaviness in his heart lessened, especially when he saw the upward quirk of Cold's mouth.

Cold continued to gently rub his cheek as he said, "Even if I learn every tick and tell of yours, every path you could go down, I'll always find myself gravitating towards you."

"You don't think you'll get bored and sick of me?" Paranoid asked, and Cold shook his head, moving his hand down from his cheek and back to his jaw.

"What if it's not boredom in the end but-satisfaction? Contentment?" Cold suggested and-oh, oh Paranoid hadn't thought of that.

Cold smirked as the realisation showed on Paranoid's face, and he leaned back a bit, with a satisfied glint in his eyes.

"I can see myself sticking with you until the end," Cold said, and Paranoid's body was beginning to relax again, and all the tension and anxiety that had gripped his mind was starting to leave him, and his arms found themselves wrapping around Cold's middle.

Paranoid gave the other a small smile and teased, "Till death do us part? How romantic of you."

But then Cold went, "Oh, no," chuckling in a sinister tone as he leaned up straight to fully loom over Paranoid, his grip on his jaw tightening like at the start of this confrontation.

His eyes were shining with a dark promise as he whispered, "Death won't keep you from me."

Paranoid's breath hitched-and then suddenly his feathers were fluffing up without his consent, and he realised in a moment of mortification that he was swooning over Cold's words.

Cold realised this too, as Paranoid heard his breath also hitch-and then the next thing Paranoid knew, Cold was swiftly leaning down to press their lips together.

Paranoid sighed into the kiss, finally feeling as if he had been released from a dark prison of his own making, and now he was free to love his partner again without any fear.

The kiss was soft and firm, filling Paranoid with a warmth that spread all across his body. It was a reassuring kiss-one that let him know that Cold was here and he wants to be.

Paranoid's eyes began to droop, and his movements started to slow, until Cold broke the kiss with a content sigh, leaning down to half lay on Paranoid, one arm wrapped across his chest firmly, and Cold tucked his face into the crook of Paranoid's neck, and he pressed a final kiss there, making Paranoid sigh in relief.

"Now," Cold mumbled, "go to sleep. It's far too late to be thinking about anything this deeply."

Paranoid chuckled, nuzzling his face against Cold's, feeling himself slip deeper and deeper into slumber.

"Okay," he mumbled, "sorry again."

"It's fine. Goodnight."

"G'night Cold," Paranoid whispered, struggling to stay awake at this point, and he was about to let sleep take over him when he whispered, "I love you."

Paranoid fell asleep, not aware of how Cold stiffened at his words, staring at Paranoid for a long, long time.

He was also still asleep when Cold decided to lean into his ear, and whisper three certain words back to him.

[rebellionbeach]

Reblogging my 3 year old analysis because I am narcissistic and want to yap about the Usami bros again...

I agree with most of what I put down but with the new chapters I think there is somethings that have been cleared up regarding their dynamic.

I think it's important to note that the idea of Haruhiko "stealing things away from Akihiko" is like the first thing introduced about his character around act 9~ or beginning or season 2. I'm not saying Akihiko is delulu but there aren't really any good concrete examples he's laid out obviously disregarding Misaki. But with Misaki I truly believe that regardless of his association with Akihiko, Haruhiko would have made a move cause he was going to be sending this man flowers anyway. This isn't to say however that the association didn't add a bit of interest on Haruhiko's part (he does put himself against his brother when he was harassing Misaki lol).

Okay, so maybe he wanted Misaki initially because Akihiko had him (he owns him bitch), but aside from that what else? I've come to believe that the main thing that Akihiko might be referring to is this head position of the Usami family. It all really makes sense when you think about it, the whole arc surrounding the family is regards to this succession and the one flashback we get to demonstrate Akihiko's trauma is regarding that whole point.

That brings me to a side tangent, Natsuko's character. I have a lot of bias when it comes to the idea of redeeming parental figures who did their children wrong (which I really think Nakamura is aiming for with Natsuko and even Fuyuhiko blegh), and Natsuko did Akihiko a lot of wrong. This whole character trait of her words coming out like 1000X worse then the message she actually wants to convey is honestly a little relatable, but in what way ma'am is saying I should not have had that man's child in front of that man's child anyway to convey to them that you want them to pursue their own path in life??? That's what this whole arc is shaping up to be which is a bit disappointing. Even Kaoruko notes that even though she "may have not meant any harm" she could never forgive her for hurting Akihiko like that. I won't even get into the mess that is Fuyuhiko's character because honest to god how are you going to redeem that. I just feel that if Nakamura is trying to shine a good light on Natsuko and Fuyuhiko's characters, there's going to have to be a lot of apologies in order, to like almost everyone, they fucked up all the kids.

Anyway, back to Haruhiko and Akihiko, they were basically manipulated by almost all adult figures around them into believing that becoming the heir of the Usami group was their merit or right. Really, it seems that Akihiko moreso and Haruhiko mostly by Fuyuhiko, since everyone didn't want a "bastard" to lead them. It's honestly a classic succession set-up, but really fucked up when you think about the fact that Haruhiko was raised as the perfect heir only for Fuyuhiko wanting to give that position to Akihiko now.

Obviously, Akihiko has no intention of doing this, the whole conflict in this arc, but I don't think its unreasonable to think that there weren't lingering feelings before. He became a successful author and swayed from that route, but the constant influence of people in his life telling him he should have that spot probably affected him in some type of way. That's why I think it's really nice closure on the chapter like 4 emeralds ago where Akihiko not only fully states he doesn't want to succeed, but he thinks Haruhiko will succeed based on the merit of his accomplishments and that anyone around him would feel the same. It's almost a full circle moment where Haruhiko finally gets some sort of validation from the brother he was 'competing' against this whole time. This was a great chapter and a really sweet interaction between the two which is actually the first time that's really happened.

Now, if I had a say in this, Haruhiko and Akihiko would then go to Fuyuhiko and assault him with bats....but I don't think that's where this is going so the remaining conflict lies primarily between Natsuko and Fuyuhiko. So, I think we're pretty much at the closing stretch of this quite long-drawn arc and the next chapter we'll probably see a Natsuko-Fuyuhiko conversation which will be very interesting. Their dynamic hasn't been properly depicted and, while I don't sympathize, I do find both of their characters pretty interesting and am very curious as to how Nakamura wants to wrap this all up. Will Fuyuhiko cry and beg for Natsuko's forgiveness? Will they finally get that divorce? Will Misaki-Kaoruko-Akihiko-Haruhiko beat that old man up with hammers? Yeah...idk

The Usami brothers and whole family as a whole are really interesting characters.  Due mostly by the fact of how different Haruhiko and Akihiko are yet similar in many ways as well.  Let’s start with rabbit boy.

Not only is this man extremely sexy but he’s also one of the most popular novelists in Japan believe it or not (not in real life guys)  Akihiko is the presumably biological son of Natsuko and Fuyuhiko and younger brother of Haruhiko Usami.  Growing up, he had always yearned for the attention of his parents, wanting to impress them and make them happy.  Haruhiko had actually been introduced to the Usami household at the age of 12 so Akihiko was 10 at the time and significant development seemed to grow from this change.  As shown from volume 21, everyone had been cheering Akihiko on as the legitimate heir of the Usami family meaning to take over the family business however he had never gotten this support from his parents before.  As a young child he had believed that if he just tried harder and became good at everything, then his parents would finally recognize him.  However, this wasn’t the case unfortunately as shown in the same volume once a young Akihiko came home from school gaining full marks on a test, eager to show his father when he caught him telling Haruhiko that he truly intended to make him the heir of the family business.  This impact was further felt once his mother, who had also witnessed this, declared that she should have never bore Fuyuhiko’s child which in the eyes of a young child must have been completely shattering.  An important seed was planted however and I believe that it was at this moment that Akihiko had started to evolve into the person he is today.  He poured all his emotion, pain, loss, suffering into his notebooks, his stories, proclaiming it to be his entire world.  Overtime we see that Akihiko grows to be very adept at the talent, being one of the top-selling authors from debut which occurred while still in high school and becoming a full-fledged novelist.  Doing this, he completely rejected his family and any connections he might have had to take over the business.  

Looking as Akihiko today it is very clear the type of individual he is, independent and self-serving, he’s his own boss and does only the things he wants to do.  From the first episode of season 2 we see this as there is a key event that takes place between the two Usami brothers in which a confrontation between two escalates into a full-out argument over Akihiko coming back to, as I assume, take over the lead of the Usami company and or serve there.  I will note later on Haruhiko’s tone and content of his language but it’s Akihiko’s response which truly stuck out to me as he stated that he had no inclination of going back to that house and if that Haruhiko truly didn’t like being there then why doesn’t he just leave as well.

This point may seem entirely irrelevant but I actually believe it highlights an essential part of Akihiko’s character that not only serves as his strength but also a blind spot in that of his independence.  Akihiko is the type of person who is able to do the things he’d like to do and encourages the people he cares about, basically Misaki, to do the same such as in episode 2 of season 3 where he is actually the one who encourages Misaki to enter into Marukawa after Misaki dismisses those thoughts as just a fantasy.  This is a thing for his relationship with Misaki as he allows the man a different perspective and in a way allows him, or at least encourages him, to be more selfish.  However this can also be seen as a flaw of his character as it can be interpreted that the only reason he has this lax and independent personality in the first place is because of his more well-off family and the fact that he’d had connections from the start.  In all honestly though, this part of Usagi-san’s personality is one of the main reasons why I actually enjoy his character, along with his thoughtful nature, as I believe that it’s a pretty unique and well-suited trait.

Let’s get into Harry Potter or the eldest brother of the Usami residence, Haruhiko.  Haruhiko isn’t Akihiko’s direct brother as stated before but rather a product of an affair that Fuyuhiko had with his mother.  For the first 12 years of his life, Haruhiko had actually been raised by his single-mother whom he loved very much.  During these times he had been seen to be much more happy despite living in poorer circumstances.  This is a large aspect that is pretty big onto why he is the way he is today.  After his mother tragically passing on, Fuyuhiko took him into to live in the Usami residence.  Now this in itself is absolutely devastating, living with a father-figure that had never truly been there for you with a new mother-in-law that despises your every existence because you’re the proof of the infidelities of her marriage and a new younger brother who seemed lifeless from the rest of this.  Top it all off with the devastation from losing the only person you truly loved and was there for you and damn I’m surprised that Haruhiko didn’t full out lose it.  

Now going back to the scene originally discussed with Akihiko’s backstory, let us switch perspective onto Haruhiko during this situation.  Your new dad just stated that the person he had truly loved in his lifetime was your dead mother and that he intended to make you, a 12 year old child, the heir of their family company that you had just learned about.  Not only this but everyone around you is your enemy as shown through all the people cheering on Akihiko to become the true heir and saying that Haruhiko stole his position.  There is basically no one there to support you, similar to Akihiko, and unlike Akihiko he actually was not used to this new circumstance making the situation even worse. 

I’d like to discuss the scene stated before during episode 1 of season 2.  Here, Haruhiko is visibly angry as Akihiko’s lack of care for his role in the Usami residence.  This is something we’ve never actually gotten to see ever since with Haruhiko barely showing any emotion at all.  However, if you take in the full context of his upbringing and circumstance to that point, you can see a fuller picture of what the man has gone through to become the stoic chosen one we know today.  Akihiko, after being hoisted by Isaka to finally start publishing his works, his entire being, finally achieved success independent from the Usami residence, marking himself finally as an individual allowing him to finally see that he only needs himself.  I think this is what caused Akihiko to cut most connection from his family, despite the occasional visits, and totally puts himself away from the idea of succeeding and become the heir of his family’s company.  This leaves Haruhiko with the burden of shouldering the entire Usami company’s future, something he never truly wanted to today with architecture being his main priority.  What he see’s in Akihiko is this lazy, selfish person who only thinks of himself, abandoning all his familial duties to a brother whom he barely batted an eye to during childhood.  This is what he hates in Akihiko, but also envies.  A very interesting point that season 2 makes with the connection between the Usami brothers is the inherent jealously Haruhiko feels toward Akihiko, with him trying to steal things from him during their upbringing together according to Akihiko.  Even Misaki finally has this revelation during episode 8 I believe when he was distracting him from Kaoruko.  I think his jealously mainly stems from the fact that Akihiko got his independence while Haruhiko is still confined to the Usami gates.  With all of Akihiko’s absent-minded behavior and to quote Haruhiko, “having the eyes of a dead fish”, Akihiko in the end still achieved that sense of independence that Haruhiko could only dream about having.  Add onto the fact that everyone around you hates that you got this position, lobbying for your younger half-brother who barely gives in the effort to succeed you, then baby that’s a recipe for childhood resentment if I’ve ever seen one.  

So what does this all mean, well nothing since this is an over-analysis on a yaoi manga but in a reality I think it comes to show the clear dynamic Haruhiko and Akihiko have on one another.  In recent chapters it is shown that Haruhiko is more and more aspiring in his own pursuits in architecture, even accepting his position as lead of the Usami household and accepting the fact that he’ll never get Misaki, wanting to stay as his ally instead (which is a lot more than I can say for a CERTAIN manga author).

I love Haruhiko AND Akihiko, they both are really great characters and I’d think it would be nice if in the future they could perhaps reconcile their relationship and kind of start to get along.  The Usami household fucked up a lot of kids but they are still going strong and who knows, maybe Haruhiko might get a lover in the future (AKA Todo)

Thank you and now I implore you to go listen to Nelson’s After the Rain album, 10/10 made me cry.

[lsunstreakerl]

1.4k of scrapbook max- this is closer to the end of the scrapbook, near graduation. (they grow up so fast)

if you haven't read the esteban ficlet, check it out here. provides some background to them :)

Esteban slides the drawer shut, crossing out a line on his checklist. It wraps up stocking supplies for exam room three, which just leaves him four through eight to finish today.

There's a slight sharpness in the air, a weirdly flat sensation that always makes him shiver. He sighs, setting his notepad back on the counter as he leans back against the drawers, watching the door.

Sure enough, it swings open a few moments later, and Max is already grinning at him, a lazy tug at his mouth.

"Doctor."

It's a low purr, nothing professional about it at all, and Esteban frowns, glaring at him.

"You know I am not actually a doctor."

Max shrugs, suit plating clinking softly. He doesn't look injured, and he's come a long way from needing Esteban's critical care experience.

He tries not to look too hard at Max's shoulders, even if he can't remember when they got so broad.

The younger students have puppy crushes the size of the moon, and Esteban knows because they like to talk about it constantly. Sometimes he considers pulling out his phone and finding old photos of Max from years ago, lanky and bitchy.

He doesn't. It's important for the younger students to view them as larger than life- it helps keep them sane.

"Maybe I've hurt my hands."

Esteban raises an eyebrow. Max can't even say it with a straight face, smirking at him. His hands are fine, and Esteban knows it because the suit is designed to send the medical team a ping when the sensors get overloaded. He hasn't gotten any kind of ping, and the white metal plating is as spotless as it was when Max was pulling it on this morning, tucking the duvet back around his shoulders as he left, a soft press to his forehead.

Perks of sleeping with a human lightning rod- Esteban's phone is always charged. Downside? Max has to be up before the sun rises to supervise the younger students, since he's a dorm lead.

Esteban is also a dorm lead, but the medical student building isn't near as volatile as Max's, which seems to have some kind of structural issue every week.

"So badly you had to come straight to me? And I didn't get a ping?"

This is so stupid- Esteban can't believe he plays this game every time. If his juniors could see him right now he'd never hear the end of it.

Still, Max makes a sheepish face, wiggling his hands at Esteban, even though Esteban can see the thick black fabric underneath the plating is perfectly fine.

"I am being cautious, Doctor Ocon. I'd hate for something to happen to my fingers, I know how fond you are of them."

Esteban feels his face heat as he steps forward, skin buzzing when he gets closer to Max.

"You are so stupid, shut up."

Max is grinning, eyes bright as Esteban tugs at his glove. His hands are more scar than skin at this point in their lives, midway into their twenties as they're getting ready to graduate.

The gloves slide off easily enough, metal clinking as Esteban sets them on the counter, fingers running across the top of Max's hands.

He knows the path of Max's muscles and nerves better than his own, effortlessly finds the usual spots for damage, visualizing the sensation he's getting in his mind.

It used to be much harder, when Max would bring him a mangled mess, unable to move his hands, nerves dead up to his elbows, skin charred. Esteban has spent countless nights painstakingly repairing pathways, weaving together muscle and sinew, just for Max to turn around and destroy it all again.

He knows better now- Esteban finds only the barest hint of overexertion, practically nothing at all. He repairs it anyways, because Max has an embarrassing point about what his fingers are good for.

Max is quiet while Esteban works, a solid presence. He can feel the heat of him along his side- Max runs hot. It's nice in the winters, but not so much in the summers, when Esteban kicks him out back to his own dorm at three in the morning, sweating buckets.

He runs his fingers absentmindedly along the inside of Max's palms. He's not even looking for anything anymore, touching just to touch. Max presses closer, and Esteban leans against him. He's used to the buzz of his skin, the smell of ozone. It's just Max to him.

There's been a few occasions where he's had to leave the medical wing, going outside of campus to help with emergencies, and it's always jarring to feel it at such an extreme, hair standing up on his arms, teeth aching.

Esteban prefers his Max, the calm after a storm, gentle with the juniors and reliable no matter what. He doesn't often see the other Max, the one the juniors talk about in hushed tones- bright eyed maniacal intensity, impossible to keep down, unrelenting.

Well- he knew that Max before. It's why he laughs whenever he overhears the juniors calling Max unstable- they've never really seen it.

Esteban has; in what was one of the most terrifying moments of his life, twitching from shock and pinned against a wall.

Max maintains that he's never been headbutted that hard before in his life. Esteban is privately proud of that fact.

He sighs as Max wraps his arms around his waist, gently walking them back towards the bench.

"Max, I have work to finish."

Max hums, and Esteban knows he's not listening at all.

"Max."

The back of his knees hit the bench, and Max squeezes gently at his hip.

"I can be quick- I've heard I'm quite famous for my speed."

It's a terrible idea. Esteban has an entire rules list printed in the medical dorms, and one of the top rules, highlighted and underlined, is to not fuck in the exam rooms. He has an example to set, even if he really doesn't want to.

He puts a hand against Max's chest, metal warm under his palm. Max is pouting at him already.

"Not in the exam rooms, you are as bad as a dog."

"Somewhere else then?"

Esteban narrows his eyes, lifting his hand to flick Max's jaw.

"My room, later. When we are both not busy- I know you have not had enough time to drop off the post-class evaluation."

Max is frowning, because he knows Esteban is weak for the pout.

"I made Charles do it, so I could come see you."

Esteban bites on his lip not to laugh. Max has an infamous hatred of paperwork- but so does Charles. Putting both of them as team leads was a horrible call from Vettel, but they work distressingly well together out in the field.

When they get over their personal grudges, anyways. They're best in a crisis situation, when they can't think too hard about who exactly they're fighting side by side with.

"So I will get a mean message later, I'm sure, telling me how I am a distraction?"

Max's eyes narrow, even though they both know he's joking, bringing a hand to brush across his cheek with his thumb.

"You are never a distraction to me, Esteban."

It's honestly embarrassing, how it still makes his cheeks heat when Max is genuine with him- a peek behind the persona he's had to cultivate within the academy.

Esteban twists his head to briefly kiss Max's bare palm before slipping underneath his arm and grabbing his clipboard.

"I would say the same, but you have come in to distract me on purpose, so I will not fall for it."

Max is still grinning fondly at him, eyes gentle.

"Yes, I am working on my criminal mastermind plans, starting of course with this exam room."

Esteban fights his own grin, lifting his chin.

"Exactly, and I'm not going to let you."

Max dramatically grabs a hand to his chest, making a wounded expression.

"Argh, smiles, my greatest weakness- how did you know?"

Esteban drags a hand down his face, helplessly trying to fight the giggles.

"You are ridiculous- get out of here, go help Charles with lesson planning."

Max's eyes are sparkling.

"But you haven't fixed me, doctor."

Esteban points a finger at him, shaking it playfully.

"I told you, we are not making that a thing."

"But how will I get better without a kiss? I'll die without it, really."

Ugh, he never should've done it in the first place- he knows better. Max gets an inch and takes a mile, and he knows Esteban is weak for it.

"You are terrible."

He's stepping forward anyways, kissing Max gently as he feels a hand settle on his hip, a pleasant buzz shooting through him before he pulls back.

"There, you're all better now."

Max pouts. Esteban isn't falling for it again.

"Paperwork, Verstappen."