#the weirdly australian man

[ruthlesslistener]

Imma be fr I really don't get it when gamers get mega pissy when an in-game character just hates them for whatever reason. Like...why? It's so much more immersive and fun when there's at least some characters who just absolutely hate your fucking guts, esp. if it's something that you did for one reason or the other, or for just no reason in particular. The racist british people in Bloodborne, for example, or the grouchy fucks like Vamos in Dark Souls. It makes everything feel way more immersive and makes the PC feel more human, the friendly faces you meet even more sweet. Solaire and Quirrel, for example, are such beloved characters because they present as genuinely friendly faces in a harsh, unforgiving world, while they'd just be a dime a dozen anywhere else.

Idk I tend to feel really queasy and grossed out when I'm playing as the hero of a story who can do nothing wrong bc the only thing I get out of it is either 'I am going to horribly dissapoint these people' or 'they're using me somehow and this is propaganda in some way'. Characters who Just Hate You, on the other hand? Especially for something you've done, or in a funny way? Perfect. Chef kiss. Please continue being a snarky little asshole it is extremely funny and I adore it

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

south africa but i've never been there also i'm drinking

HELLO MAGGOTS this is the good omens mascot here hello hello. my psychiatrist just spent today telling me how I won't be able to be out in college when it starts in May and I'll be misgendered etc etc it's all a good time. So my solution:

My darling cousin @imchronicallyonlinesowhat (the one who thought Sir Terry Pratchett looked like Sudha Murthy, was a kindly old woman and was married to Neil Gaiman because their book cover fonts were similar, OG maggots know the PAIN) who lives in South Africa asked me to make a South Africa post. FYI, she's moving to Australia for college, so you can be assured I shared my Australia posts with her she is SO prepared she won't say marmite instead of vegemite and she knows the Wibbles are inherently sexual. SOUTH AFRICA (I've only had a teeny weeny bit of cheap ass wine so far):

There a lot of white people there it's ineffable. There are enough of them there that my cousin regularly talks about not ever marrying someone who doesn't have some masala.

Afrikaans is a gorgeous language. I thought my cousin was showing me her Afrikaans notes once. She wasn't. It was her English notes, she just has the most illegible yet neat handwriting in the world.

They don't say yo but they say YOH and it sounds very much like a bass drum.

People at my cousin's school pump their hands in the air while saying jesus-jesus.

There's a trio of white boys that rule the school kind of like a genderswapped mean girls. They all look the same haircut-wise, they're Catholic and they're called the Triumvirate.

I'm realising here that my knowledge of South Africa is limited to cuzzy's school. But the wine is shit and I promised my blood-relative so I am continuing.

The books are fucking expensive and so everyone has to pirate shit. This sounds like the US.

Everyone is TALL. Like VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY TALL. The standard of height is insanely different from India. TALL.

If you don't have a last name you're going to get into legal trouble.

The no hat no play rule applies here as well as Australia apparently.

The wine cost like 2.5 dollars in USD if my conversion rates are correct, it smells like battery acid and tastes of rotted grapes. Nothing to do with South Africa, it's just that I cannot remember a single other thing about South Africa other than it's a country in Africa that's presumably in the South.

My braincells are already frying. For my cousin's sake, I'm going to compile all my Australia posts here so that she knows what to expect! Australian maggots your continent is about to be graced with the Good Omens Mascot bloodline. Notably the one with the Sudha Murthy fuck up so that's doubly fun. @howmanyholesinswisscheese, @im-a-sentient-magic-carpet, @madfangirlontheloose @obsessed-sketches @drconstellation and any other Aussie maggots be prepared and welcome her.

Toot Toot Chugga Chugga by the Wiggles is an Ineffable Husbands Song

Deaths in Australia in 2015, an ask

VEGEMITE IS NOT MARMITE, another passionate ask

Pt I Australia but I've never been there

Pt II Australia but I've never been there

Oh I hate cheap wine. @imchronicallyonlinesowhat I hope you appreciate this, blood of mine. I'm such a great cousin.

[chloroformedhorse]

i had a surreal experience a few weeks ago.

I was at the shopping centre doing my groceries and being an adult (as you do) and the centre was PACKED. like shoulder to shoulder forcing my way through the aldi packed. but i got through it and i escaped the aldi, and started making my way back to where my bike was parked, laden with bags and honestly exhausted.

And i looked up and saw an old man. No big deal, right? Shopping centres are full of old men.

The thing about this old man, though, wasn't the fact that his face was mostly whisker, nor that his sideburns could have come straight from the industrial revolution, nor the red flannel that (as any aussie knows) showed the hallmark of a blue-collar and likely-conservative working bogan.

no.

it was the fact that he was wearing a bright yellow safety vest over this flannel-

-with the words DAVID MCBRIDE NOT GUILTY written on the front in dying sharpie.

10/10 most experience of all time

[charamuscadmango]

I am invested in your HMS DST Au I would love to know more about it!

AAHH TYSM!

Well I already have this post where I mention what I think their stats/characteristics would be and their own craftable items

Now if you want to know about an actual story, I have an idea about how HMS got into the constant and maybe I'll make a longer (and actually well redacted) post about it but basically:

Harmonia/Whole was growing tired of the same story repeating over and over again.

One day as he was playing a song he heard a strange man's voice coming from a radio and speaking to him (Maxwell) , the man promised he could help him become "whole" once again.

Being desperate he accepted his "help", that of course ended up being a lie and he got dragged into the constant, but somehow when that happened he physically split into three, which is why Heart, Mind and Soul ended up in the constant instead of Harmonia himself.

Also side note: their names in the constant are Wrath (for Heart), Wisdom (for Mind) and Within (for Soul). Y'know so they fit the naming scheme of the game.

TYSM to @triplicatedrhymes for coming up with the names for the Jashlings!!

[batterycityraces]

Working in a wealthy area is like working in a zoo for me. I am studying out in the field. I cannot connect to these people (customers) at all.

[sunrizef1]

What happens in Vegas pt 1.5

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Authors Note: had to write this twice because tumblr deleted it lol. Not sure how to tag this so I’m just tagging my general tags. Proofread but not well.

Warnings: Blood, cursing

Summary: When the drivers found Max cheating

Masterlist

—————————————————

“Dannyyyyyy” your voice rings out through the noise of the crowded club, your words catching the attention of the Australian in question.

The Aussie turns his head, a grin on his face as he holds up a bottle of champagne he seemed to have convinced the bartender to hand over. You laugh at his state, drunkenness clear in the way he sways as he staggers over to you. You wrap an arm around his tall shoulder, leaning on him in order to sort out your own less-than-sober state.

Lights flash brightly around the two of you, fellow drivers and F1 employees spread throughout the club, not including anyone from Red Bull for some reason.

You couldn’t find it in yourself to care, vodka practically running through your veins as you celebrated your win. You had won your home race and you were surrounded by your friends. The absence of some people you didn’t really like didn’t bother you all too much.

“Have you seen Logan?” You look up toward the Aussie again, eyes darting quickly around the club for your friend. You had been with the blond practically the whole night but as soon as you had gone looking for Danny, he had disappeared from your side.

Luckily, you didn’t have to search for long as another arm comes and wraps around your shoulder suddenly. You turn your head to find Logan, a dopey smile on his face and, weirdly, sunglasses.

He had been drinking just as much as the rest of you had, even downing about half a bottle of vodka in under twenty minutes. Better than you would’ve done considering you thought vodka tasted like shit. Good for shots though.

You reach up and fix the glasses that had gone sideways on his face. His hand follows yours, still clutching a drink as he follows your lead in fixing the random glasses.

“Why’d you have glasses on?” You have to yell slightly as you say it, prompting Danny to glance over from where he’d been watching Lando convince the current DJ to let him have a go. You’d have to give it to him, the man’s pretty convincing when he’s drunk.

“Someone gave them to me, not sure when, don’t really care. They’re sick though, right?” Logan leans back slightly to give you both a full look at him and you laugh as he sways a bit. His blond hair is ruffled and he’s acquired someone’s paddock pass throughout the night, along with the glasses and he’s looking like he came straight from the race itself.

“Yeah! You look great, mate!” Danny’s laughing behind you and Logan grins while he leans back into the little huddle you’ve created, patting Danny on the back as he does.

“Where are we heading then, gang?” Logan slurs, downing the rest of his drink and slamming it down on a nearby table and then turning his entire form toward the two of you.

You walk forward a bit, dragging the two drivers with you, both of their arms falling off your shoulders, “I was gonna go back to my room but I can't find max.”

You had already been dealing with Max’s absence since, well, yesterday at that point and it definitely contributed to about 5 of the shots you had taken. By now it was about 1 am, you had been in the club for hours, you were hungry and drunk and just really wanted to go to bed. But you couldn't do that because you couldn't find max and something in your drunken mind said you had to find him before you could go to bed. Something about not going to bed angry after a fight.

A fight that, truly, you didn't really have a part in. It wasn't your fault that Max had lost. I mean, it technically was but you shouldn't have been expected to let him win. Red Bull had practically been asking you to lose to him all season and you win once and suddenly Max is yelling about how inconsiderate you are.

“Come on,” Danny starts to walk toward the exit, leading you and Logan behind him as he does. The three of you stagger through the crowd, many people stopping you go congratulate you and chat as you do. By the time you've reached the strip, you've completely forgotten about Max and instead, you're only thinking about the hunger in your stomach.

“Im starving,” you mumble as you lay your head on Logan who smiles down at you, once again wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

You pay no mind to the cameras flashing as the three of you walk out or the stares that come your way. You’re more concerned about where the nearest restaurant is.

Logan moves away from you to dig through his pocket and you take the opportunity to adjust your dress, the fabric suddenly too tight on your heated body. You also wish you could take off the shoes that were causing your feet to ache. Danny takes a swig from the bottle that he, surprisingly, had been allowed to take from the club. Hair sticks to your foreheads and clothes sit rumbled and wrong. The spitting image of three elite athletes.

Logan moves back toward you to hand you the phone he had just pulled from his pocket. You had honestly forgotten you had given it to him to hold considering your dress didn’t have pockets.

“Thank you,” you nod gratefully, unlocking it to an influx of messages from friends and family congratulating you on your win or sending pictures from the club.

You clutch the device tightly as you cross your arms in an attempt to shield yourself from the cold Vegas air.

When a particularly cold chill runs through your body, you’re suddenly moving down the sidewalk, heels clicking as you try not to sway. The boys behind you follow in suit, seemingly trusting the, for the purposes of this race, Vegas native.

“Where we going, then?” Logan asks, a yawn escaping him as he readjusts the sunglasses perched on his nose.

“There’s a shake shack at New York New York,” you follow suit in yawning, pointing slightly ahead at the Empire State shaped hotel in front of you.

Daniel hums, “I want a burger.”

You laugh slightly, leading both of them toward the restaurant.

You three get there pretty quickly, ordering random greasy food that your trainers would probably disapprove of. When you sit down, you pull out your phone and send a quick series of text to Max to ask where he was. He hadn’t been there the whole night and you had finally started to miss him. He reads the messages but doesn’t reply, leaving you with a sick feeling in your stomach.

You bite into a fry to try and cover the nausea, opening your text chain with Charles and texting him instead. He actually replies this time and soon enough, Charles is on his way to you three from wherever he had gone to sober up earlier in the night.

“Charles is on his way,” you say through another yawn, eating a fry.

Daniel scarfs down a few bites of his burger, swallowing a full gulps of his drink right after, “For what?”

“Gonna help me find Max probably. We’re all too drunk to do anything by ourselves anyway.”

“Not too drunk to order food by ourselves,” Logan says, probably louder than he needs to, leaning back in his chair, glasses still on and a drink in his mouth, “Let’s fucking goooooooo.”

He follows Daniel’s lead and starts to munch on his food quickly, food you’d paid for by the way, when you turned out to be the only one who could get their Apple Pay to work.

You take a couple more bites of your food while the boys scavenge their food as if they hadn’t eaten in years.

“Hey guys!” You look up to see a particularly sober Charles Leclerc strolling through the shake shack door. You perk up when you see him, a small smiling making it through the exhaustion you were feeling.

“Hey Cha,” you say, standing up to give him a small hug, staggering a bit on your heels as you do. He leans back as you release him and steadies you, holding something up to you as he does.

Your eyes widen as he holds up a pair of converse in your eyesight and you gasp happily, quickly sitting back down in your chair and starting to fumble with the clasps on your heels.

Your fingers shake with exhaustion and alcohol and the clasp escapes your hands more than a couple times.

“Here, let me do it,” Charles offers as he sets the shoes down on the ground next to you before kneeling in front of your chair and grasping your ankle lightly.

You don’t look across the table to see Daniel and Logan making kissy faces at each other as they both stuff their faces with greasy food and soda. But you can hear their mocking kiss noises and you roll your eyes as you finally look their way, glaring as you do. They both shut up and go back to the phones in their hands.

Charles makes quick work of the clasps on both shoes, sliding the heels off your feet and untying the converse before handing them to you. You slide the shoes on and stand up, wrapping up your excess shake shack as you do.

Logan makes a noise of protest as you move to throw the food away and you sigh before sliding it across the table back to him. He makes quick work of the food, with help from Daniel reaching over his shoulder to grab food in between Logan’s bites.

You and Charles wait quietly for the two of them to finish. You eventually open your mouth to ask him a question but he seems to beat you there.

“Do you know where Max is?” He says quietly, eyes staring kindly at your tired state.

“No, he hasn’t answered my texts,” you mumble sadly, head falling to rest against your hand on the table. Charles moves slightly closer to let you rest your head on his shoulder and your eyes start to flutter closed. You were just nodding off when a loud band comes from across you and your eyes open to see Logan slamming his empty drink on the table just before Daniel does as well.

They both move from the table quickly and you and Charles rush to follow them as they bound out of the restaurant in their drunken stupor.

“Let’s go find max!” Daniel yells out swinging an arm around the blond man’s shoulders.

“To finding max!” Logan responds swinging his own arm around Daniel.

You and Charles share a look at the two of them. You had been just as drunk as them but you seemed to be sobering up quicker than both of them.

You glance down to see your heels clutched in Charles hand and pull out your phone to take a picture while he’s busy looking over your shoulder at the two drunk formula one driver some yards away.

“Come back here, losers!” Charles called out to the two of them and they both turn back to you and stumble over, seemingly dancing to music that wasn’t playing.

“We’re going to Omnia,” Charles says to the three of you and that’s all the boys need to turn around and wander toward a building they don’t know the location of.

You roll your eyes at them but follow quickly after, trying to make sure they don't wander too far away. Charles is quick to walk beside you.

The walk isn't too far, your drunkenness slowly decreasing throughout the stroll. Luckily for you and Charles, by the time you all get to the club, Daniel and Logan have sobered enough to at least walk in a straight line.

Omnia is nestled inside of Caesars Palace so it wasn't hard to find but Daniel and Logan do both try and walk past the hotel. You and Charles have to call them back and drag them into the lobby of the hotel.

The four of you wander over to the club, glancing around but when your efforts seem fruitless, you decide to wander around the area instead of just looking at the club.

The four of you wander around aimlessly, looking for any signs of your boyfriend. You glance up to see Charles with his eyes set forward, still clutching your heels in his hands. Logan and Danny fall in line next to the two of you, seemingly sobered enough to be helpful now.

Eventually you round a corner and come face to face with a surprisingly empty area, not a soul in sight. The silence almost echoes off the vaulted ceiling, making the sound of your four sets of shoes seem almost loud in comparison.

You don’t see anything in the room and go to turn around when Logan catches your elbow, “Is that him?”

You turn back around to follow Logan’s point, eyes locking on a brunette man. Of course, Logan has just been extremely inebriated so his judgement probably wasn’t the best but you decide to listen to him anyway.

You move to take a step toward the man when he stumbles backward, letting you see that it is, in fact, your boyfriend. But what causes your eyebrows to furrow is the familiar girl hanging off of him, lips practically attacking his own.

You can’t move. Your eyes are locked on the couple and your feet are solidly rooted to the marble floor. You think you might be crying, you wouldn’t be able to tell. The only thing that pulls you out of it is the feeling of a pair of heels being shoved into your arms. You glance up just in time to see Charles reeling his fist back.

You don’t think you’ll ever forget the sound of a nose breaking under a fist. Of course, it’s quiet so that probably helped a lot.

They’re screaming at each other and your brain, once again, tunes it out. You stare blankly ahead, trying to make sense of whatever the fuck you just saw. You’re pretty sure Charles’ girlfriend flees. Probably for the best. Logan swings a tanned hand in front of your eyes and suddenly the volume in the room is back once again, the screaming slowly filtering into your head.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Charles yells, blood dripping down his arm as he shoves Max in the middle of his chest.

“What’s my problem!? What’s your problem!? You’re already fucking my girlfriend, I was just evening the score,” Max spits, blood splattering against Charles’ white shirt as he shoves the man’s wrist away.

“What are you talking about? I didn’t do shit, man!”

“You proved it by showing up with her,” Logan inches forward as Max’s eyes land on you for the first time that night, seemingly ready to defend your honor. Or whatever.

“Taking her to help her find her boyfriend who turned out to be cheating on her with my girlfriend. Yeah seems really romantic mate,” Charles rolls his eyes. You can tell from his stance he’s ready to throw another punch in a heartbeat.

“Fuck you, Charles.”

“Fuck you, Max.”

There it is, the second punch flies and the two start to brawl. Rich idiot brawling, of course, no real form or anything. You reckon Max could throw a pretty good punch if he was in a better state. In the moment you’re just glad he isn’t. For Charles’ sake.

You suddenly realize that the area might not have been as secluded as you had thought. When you glance up you’re met by the literal strip, bright lights streaming in from the outside. Even at the ripe hour of 3 am. People start to gather at the commotion. Usually you’d care a lot about this kind of stuff but your brain is unfortunately too preoccupied to care.

One of these people that takes it upon themselves to insert themselves in the fight is none other than Checo Perez. The man on the grid who you could stand the least. Or at least he used to have that title, that might belong to Max now.

Upon the sound of more yelling, you tune him out. Daniel’s the one who moves in his path, causing the man to turn the argument onto Daniel. 5 foot 10 Daniel who’s been itching to throw a punch since this fight started. Daniel who was, until quite recently, black out drunk. Daniel who you knew, deep down, didn’t want to punch Max so this was a perfect solution.

You don’t end up remembering how it happens, your brain fogged with alcohol and emotions but one second, Checo and Danny are arguing and the next second, Logan’s landed a punch.

Honestly, he has a killer right hook. Especially for a drunk man. This spurs another fight and you can’t do anything but stand still in the middle of it all, tear stains running down your cheeks and high-heels clutched tightly in your arms.

It feels like an eternity later, but what probably only 5 minutes, when a figure comes up behind you and wraps an arms around your shoulders. You glance up to see a wild Oscar, pulling you away from the scene. He drops your shoulder to move back and pull Logan out of the fight, now with a bloody nose and bruised knuckles. You’re not sure how much fighting he did and how much of it was just him hitting random surfaces. Again, drunk.

You turn toward Charles and see a now unoccupied Checo walking with an arm around Max’s shoulder and a now quite sober Lando pulling Charles the other way. Danny’s made his own way out of the area, quickly pulling you away with him. You don’t argue as he does, grateful for the escape. Sound comes back to you as you re-enter the casino floor, slot machines and black-jack spread out around you.

You realize how crazy you all probably look, all six of you covered in blood in some way. Whether it be your own or a friends. You all stagger out of the hotel quickly and at some point, you lose Charles and now it’s just you, Daniel and Logan, just like how you had started the night.

Once the air hits your face you realize the reality of everything that’s just happened. Your three year relationship was now over. Your teammate and boyfriend just cheated on you. This had to be some sort of HR violation.

For the first time since you entered the quiet area, you feel yourself cry. Tears run down your cheeks as sobs rack your body. Logan is quick to get you somewhere to sit down and he lays an arm around your shoulder comfortingly, not even thinking about the fact he’s now smearing even more blood on your clothes. You get distracted form your crying when you glance up and see the blood streaming from his nose. If you could help it, you’d get his name the farthest away from this. He didn’t need this right now.

For a moment you’re too worried about Logan’s future to cry but then you glance back down at the blood on your own hands and the waterworks start again. You, of course, hadn’t punched anyone but the blood was a reminder that somebody had because of you.

You eventually get the sobs to go away, standing up with a slight wobble, leaning on Daniel as he catches you.

You have no idea where the rest of your friend had gone or even where you were gonna sleep tonight. So you text the one person you had complete faith in during this situation.

“Can I stay with you?”

————————————————

[4doras]

MY CHRISTMAS MIRACLE ౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆

everyone knows wishing for a boyfriend doesn’t work, but why does the perfect man keep finding his way to you? ⊹♡

jungwon x f!reader

genre. fluff (lowercase intended)

wc. 0.9k

a/n. first enhypen fic~ i wrote this a while ago so it MIGHT be bad, but i still hope you guys like it… 😅

“i wish for a boyfriend. a boy who’s like a little ginger cat, cute, smart, clingy. just perfect for me. please, santa. i’ve been single for too long.” that’s what you wrote. you were in desperate need of a boyfriend.

your blaring alarm woke you up. the warm smell of cinnamon lingered in the air — the product of your candle burning for over four hours. your phone was full of messages and missed calls, all asking if you want to go ice skating. you quickly responded to them, agreeing to the outing.

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

“let‘s go get our skates!” sunoo cheered, practically jumping up and down with how impatient he was. once everyone got their skates, sunghoon helped you all tighten your laces, making sure none of you would have loose skates. once he was done checking, you all got on the ice, slowly skating to get used to the slippery surface of the ice.

by the next minute, you were gliding around the rink. that was until you bumped into a person coming your way. you prepared yourself to bang against the ground, instead, you were caught in the embrace of a boy.

more under the cut!

“are you okay?” the stranger asked you.

“yeah, are you? im so sorry.” you apologized.

“of course, i was the one that banged into you.” he fixed a small misplaced piece of hair before smiling at you, and skating away.

“what was that?” sunghoon asked you as you returned to your group. “or should i say, who was that? i couldn’t see their face.”

“i don’t know, but he was really cute, hoon.”

“god, you’re so desperate for a boyfriend, aren’t you…” he sighed.

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

jake had found a local cafe that was near the rink, deciding that you all should meet up there to rest. you all were free, therefore came to the function.

you met up at the cafe, everyone holding a cup of coffee or tea. you knew everyone there except for one boy. little did you know, that boy would be the only thing you could think about. he was adorned with big eyes like a cats, little dimples formed on his cheeks whenever he smiled.

he was the boy from the skating rink.

“y/n!” jake called you over to sit next to him. “this is jungwon, yang jungwon. jungwon, this is y/n.” jake smiled, his australian accent prolonged on jungwons name. you reached your hand out to shake jungwons, though, it was covered by the long sleeve of your shirt. before shaking your hand, he rolled your sleeve up, and shook it, not putting his hand back before re-covering your hand. weirdly, the small gesture make your heart beat faster than usual.

“sorry for bumping into you at the rink, y/n.” he gave you a sheepish look.

you giggled, “its okay, jungwon.”

you all chatted for a while, ending up in you and jungwon sharing numbers. you and jungwon seemed to have more in common than you would’ve initially thought, it really felt like you two were soulmates. the longer you hung around jungwon, the more you found out about him.

he was a sweet boy. he had the same humor as you, was really caring, and cute. he would follow you around like a little cat, trailing beside you or scurrying to hold your hand so he wouldn’t be left behind.

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

“do you have any plans for christmas?” sunoo asked you, his tone sounded like there was a correct answer.

“nah, im free the whole holiday.” you responded, hoping “no” was right.

“perfect! do you wanna go out with the guys? jungwon will be there.” he teased.

“where are you guys going?” in all honesty, you didn't care, as long as you could hang out with jungwon.

“maybe just hanging out at my place, we don't have that much planned.” he suggested.

“sure, i'll join you guys.”

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

it was christmas day, the streets were bustling and busy. you dressed up and quickly went out so you could buy small gifts for all of your friends, getting one that’s slightly more significant for jungwon, a bear plushie holding a heart. you got back home, completing your look with a spray of perfume and you were once again, out the door.

you greeted everyone, hugging jungwon tightly as you saw him.

“i got you a gift, y/n.” jungwon said, his dimples forming.

“me too.” you reached into your bag, bringing out the plushie.

you and jungwon must be fate, because you both got each other the same gift, but you got jungwon one with a red heart, and jungwon got you one with a pink heart. while you both laughed at the twinning gifts, everyone was curious about what was so funny, but easily caught on by the bears being your hands.

“its a sign, you guys are made for eachother.” jake joked.

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

you were all sitting on the sofa together, playing truth or dare.

“jungwon, truth or dare?” jay riddled.

“um… truth.” he hesitated.

“do you like y/n?” jay asked without thinking, it was like he had been waiting for this day.

“yeah.” jungwon tried to avoid eye contact with you.

“won, actually?” you turned your whole body to face him, attempting to look at him while he swung his face away from you.

“im serious, y/n. i really like you,” he confessed.

before jungwon could say any more, you cut him off with a kiss. you held his face in your hands, kissing him softly.

jungwon pulled back. “can i be your boyfriend?”

“please.” you giggled.

maybe wishing for a boyfriend does work.

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

Been spending my time lately thinking of a House MD au where, through a series of accidents and lies and a bet he didn't rly intend to win, House ends up as a registered foster parent (he's still addicted to Vicodin and his normal dickish workaholic self but for some reason he cleared the requirements and trust me he's as stunned and mildly concerned as everyone else is).

Through further Shenanigans™, he ends up accidentally getting handed fostership of not one, not two, but three hellish but brilliant kids:

1. This total smartass 16 year old named Robert Chase who yeah he's a bitchy teenaged boy and a former rich kid and Australian with enough mommy and daddy issues to reawaken Freud after his dad dipped and absconded all parental rights and his mom drank herself to death, but he's also got a nice car left over from his rich kid days and an eye for detail and weirdly enough his best friend/mortal enemy (some other teen named Eric Foreman) and his on again off again girlfriend (Allison Cameron, totally won't last if u ask House) both work at the hospital as a candy striper and after school in the cafeteria respectively so House can get all the inside gossip from Chase. Plus Chase has no problems breaking and entering into patient's homes which helps bc since he's not employed by the hospital Cuddy can't complain as far as House is concerned.

2. A 14 year old girl who only answers to Thirteen (House knows he could look her name up in her file but honestly it drives Chase nuts that she won't tell him her real name and that's good enough for him) and who's dad was declared unfit after the death of his wife to Huntington's devastated him. She's a total nightmare, snarky and quick witted and freakishly smart even tho she puts most of those smarts towards things like shaving Chase's entire head (eyebrows included) bc he's trying to grow a sucky teenage mustache, and trying to take House's wallet bc she keeps calling him Old Man and he informed her he's actually only 25 but the stress of fostering has aged him prematurely and she's like 95% sure that's a lie but she wants to check his license and make sure bc everyone lies. She loves tormenting Chase by telling him his best friend and/or his girlfriend is hot and asking if they're single.

And 3. This 6 year old boy named Lawrence Kutner who's weirdly cheerful considering his parents got killed in front of him. He's way too chatty and excellent at puzzles and the only morning person in the entire house and therefore frequently tries to make breakfast (he likes to be helpful and he hasn't burned the place down yet so House doesn't feel the need to stop him). Once he told House he was gonna build a Death Star in the living room and House said lol sure go ahead whatever, only to return home from work to discover Kutner called himself out from school and has a huge wooden frame made of broken furniture in the living room. House rly can't argue since he did say go ahead. Benefits of fostering a 6 year old are 1. The babes love it, 2. Free excuse to leave work early/come in late/not show up at all, and 3. Justification for buying juice boxes and Ritz crackers. The neighbor kid Taub is his go to babysitter bc his mom volunteered him forcibly and Taub is lowkey praying that babysitting Kutner could lead to an in at Princeton Plainsboro once he graduates high-school and finishes medical school (it won't, House doesn't believe in nepotism unless it benefits him).

The adventures of House and his Foster Ducklings mostly revolve around being a Found Family, but do involve frequent plots such as:

House fired his brand new fellows again (he tosses em every three or so months, he hasn't found The Right Team yet) and will sometimes bring his foster kids in, hand em doctors coats, and tell patients that they're just a bunch of medical savants here to consult yes even the 6 year old he's actually Harvard's youngest graduate ever.

House sends the kids to break into a patient's home. They refuse. House tells them the first one to find black mold or lead paint or a dead animal or whatever gets $20. They agree. Chase drops Thirteen and Kutner off at a bus stop across town and drives over himself so he can get an hour and a half head start (ultimate fuck them kids moment, however Thirteen did steal his wallet so guess who's paying for lunch and their taxi ride to the patient's house? Net loss.)

Cuddy demands House does his clinic hours. House sends his foster kids to do his clinic hours for him. Tfw you go to the free walk in clinic for a sore throat and a cough and your doctor is a 6 year old boy who keeps asking for help with spelling whilst filling out your chart.

Wilson babysits them one (1) time since House doesn't trust Chase not to throw a party or sell his foster siblings on eBay if left as the one in charge. He wakes up with a big strip of hair poorly bleached right down the middle. Chase crushed up stolen sleeping pills and mixed them into a juice box, which Kutner 'innocently' offered to Wilson. Thirteen was going to bleach and dye his whole head blue (for practice, she wants to dye her hair but she's certainly not gonna fuck up her own hair until she has the method down) but Wilson woke up pretty quickly due to years of House drugging him. Wilson has not offered to babysit again.

Anyways this is my House Foster Ducklings au which I'm thinking about actually writing. Thank u 🫡

[rubyreadd]

i know u have girl!mark au somewhere and it occured to me the 05 williams line up wld b recieved so weirdly one of them is constantly compared to a girl and its def not mark neither one smiles like ever que the circus

God yeah.

One of the core tenets of my girl!Mark au is that everything Mark is lauded for as a man he would be drawn and quartered for as a woman. An all Australian bloke who tells Christian Horner to get fucked and goes unapologetically toe to toe with his Wunderkind teammate - and that's not even considering how she would be mocked for her height, squared off jaw, thin lips, wiry build; too female to be taken seriously and yet not female enough to be fuckable.

Nico is the woman Mark will never be. Effortlessly beautiful and graciously charming. She says Britney's put it in the wall because for once in her life Mark wants to not be the only woman in the room. Jenson picks up it's cause. She feels even shittier. It's a joke, she knows it's a joke, but she's also known Jenson for more than a decade. Does he think of her like this too?

When it matters however Nico gets to step out of womanhood. When he's world champion Nico is a king of his own merit. Yet when Mark retires womanhood is draped across her career like a funeral shroud. Another example of why women, even when Mark gave all that up in pursuit of a dream, will never cut it here.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

YOU WHO ARE SO KNOWLEDGEABLE IN THE WAYS OF AUSTRALIA, WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF DROP BEAR ATTACKS?

I HAVE HEARD OF THEM INDEED, I'M ASSUMING THE BEARS LIKE DROPPED OUT OF TREES AND ATTACKED HUMANS BY LANDING ON THEM AND SLASHING THEM TO DEATH?

(I CAN'T SAY SLASH WITHOUT THINKING OF FANFICTION HELP)

I DON'T THINK IT WAS AN EMU WAR KIND OF SITUATION SO I'M ASSUMING THIS ATTACK WAS A RUTHLESS ELIMINATION OF SEVERAL AUSTRALIANS THROUGH BEARILLA WARFARE

AUSTRALIAN MAGGOTS? AM I RIGHT? @howmanyholesinswisscheese @obsessed-sketches

[mediumtires]

i can’t get over the intimacy of sharing a 17 hour flight.

have you ever been on a long haul flight? you get comfortable. and i mean. real comfortable. these men live in hotel rooms and cars and airplanes for the better part of the year. they know how to travel comfortably.

it’s sweatpants and slippers and audiobooks. christian and toto probably slept in close proximity of each other. do you know how vulnerable that makes a person? sworn enemy two rows in front to the left and christian nodding off with airpods in and a neck pillow? are you joking?

toto with an eyemask on and christian makes fun of him for it and toto scrambles to explain “i got my eyes lasered last week OK”. christian keeps chuckling for two hours straight as an excuse to keep looking over at his archenemy with the dark tousled hair. literally watches him sleep.

and fred. just literally in the middle of the aisle doing squats and engaging absolutely anyone in conversation because he’s bored. poor stewards have to squeeze past him every time christian calls them over.

meals. they’ll be eating together, at the same time. it’s such a weirdly intimate thing to eat on a flight, you can’t tell me it’s not. toto with a napkin tucked into his collar, christian rolling his eyes at him. fred already stuffing his face because standing up has him starving also he’s bored.

and. according to my main man carlos, the one way to fight australian jet lag is to stay awake the whole flight. we’ve all heard it, we’ve all seen it, he kept us updated. i can’t see these three old men staying awake for the whole thing but there will certainly be awake time. there will be work getting done (everyone but fred let’s be real), there will be books and music, maybe toto watches a movie and christian annoys him until he turns on the subtitles so he can watch along from behind. then he makes fun of toto’s choice of movie (i’m thinking top gun) for the rest of the flight. maybe toto meditates and christian can’t believe his eyes. in between toto will get up to get the blood flowing and he’ll do his squats right next to christian’s seat. i am convinced he has a night time routine and he WILL be doing it on the plane. he’ll offer christian his snacks.

and this is all fun and games ok but ABOVE ALL. they must have been talking.

and this is what has me insane because christian is SUCH a pr guy. like he is such a sucker for having cameras around and playing it up as this big respected team boss when in reality he’s just a big ass softie whenever there’s no one around to judge him. and he had to built this image of himself. he was the youngest tp, no f1 experience when he started and also - may i remind everyone - he’s short. tiny. he had to puff out his chest and bark at everything and everyone but he had to be charming about it too and this is literally how he learned to play the media so well. he is the king of pr. he knows how important image and perception are. BUT. i so very strongly believe he drops the act when he’s sure no cameras are around and that’s why he’s so well liked in the paddock. considering the portrayal of him in the media, i would keep a twenty feet distance to that man at all times but people aren’t are they? he’s well liked.

cameras off, he’s a nice guy. funny. probably very knowledgable about the sport, likes to give advice and help smaller teams. not necessarily merc. but basically everyone else. he can hold a conversation without making stupid comments all the time. and that’s what he and toto do too! the media and everything 2021 has made them into something aggressive and founded in hate and disrespect but actually, they were friendly with each other long before 2021 and they managed to be adults about the whole thing (so surprising tbh). THEY ARE STILL FRIENDS. and so they are okay with things like sharing long haul flights and sleeping in each others proximity etc etc etc even when christian makes a throwaway comment about it after like “oh toto was there too, got his eyes lasered or sumin idk i didn’t really ask”

BRO YOU HAD 17 HOURS ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME YOU DIDNT SPEAK TO TOTO ONCE THE ENTIRE TIME. try again. he asked about his eyes and then went on to complain about his tummy ache and THEN he probably filled toto in on geri’s race horses and they shared stories about having to build lego cars on christmas day with their sons who are literally the same age, all of it over some shitty airplane lasagne.

you can’t fool me christian horner you can’t

[fullliquorbar]

I LOVE YOUR POSTS SO MUCH THEYRE SO MWAH.

what are fl mans relationships with the rest of the cast :3

sorry this one also took a sec to get to lol i had like a shitload of school stuff pile up on me all at once n my friend said she'd be pissed if i didn't prioritize it sooo :'3 n e wayz MOVING ON......

AUSTRALIAN MAN - they r husbands Obviously :3 ELLIS DEE - theyre Divorced but theyre also on good terms n theyre besties :3 BETH AMPHETAMINE - also besties : ) i feel like he would've had the tiniest crush on her for half a sec but it would've immediately died off the moment he found out she was a whole ass Lesbian BAB ROSS - friendsies :3 dont really have much else to say for this one SPLEENS AND TONSILS - they r his kids Obviously CLAIRDANES LOVESPUDDING - also exes (on neutral terms i Guess) DEE MINUS - i feel like theyd be really really close bc i honestly stand behind with the whole "dee minus is fl man's + ellis dee's daughter" theory/headcannon so yeah :3 i feel like he'd be a Kindof Shitty father at Times but it'd never be on purpose n he'd never dare be abusive towards her :(( she means the fucking World to him

TIM HORTON - close acquaintances Probably

TOMMY WENIS - also close acquaintances. i feel like they wouldn't really hang out that much due to like. not having much in common i guess (but they still would on Occasion because i feel like tommy would be pretty close w australian man)

COLONO SCOPY - ALSO EXES lmao this motherfucker Gets Around (on good terms)

WHITLEY ARRIAGAGAGAG - they went on a few dates n had some on n off shit for a while but it never ended up Going Anywhere (on good terms ^_^ they r also close friends!!)

IFORGOT MYPANTS - Also close acquaintances

KYLE THORNE - they would fuckign HATE EACHOTHER

KAREN STARBUCKS (who i'm only mentioning Now because she's honestly so irrelevant to me i honestly forgot she existed until this ask made me remember the weirdly in-depth headcannons i kindof have for her) - also divorced AND DEFINITELY NOT ON GOOD TERMS WHATSOEVER she was an abusive Bitch and their relationship did not End Well. some "karen took the kids 😫" type shit.

[ferallester]

okay so I didn’t have the motivation to do Appreciation Week at first, but seeing @yonpote do it all in one day has inspired me so let’s do it! (but with screenshots and stuff bc Yeah LMAO)

for @dpgdaily’s Dan and Phil Appreciation Week!

post is under a break so that it doesn’t just break tumblr

Day 1 - Favourite Dan and/or Phil quote:

the entire opening from the pinof 7 bloopers is hilarious but by far one of my favourite quotes (one that has continually haunted me since 2016, when I watched it for the first time) is:

D: Stand still!

P: Stencil!

D: … I’m gonna hit you. [laughs] Shut up!

I quote this weirdly often in my fics. In fact, I’m pretty sure two of my recent published fics use it as a reference. I didn’t realise until now that I was partially misquoting it XD

I also can’t not mention, from Basically I’m Gay (the entire part from when Dan starts talking about Phil is linked, quote starts about twenty seconds later):

D: We are real best friends, companions through life, like actual soulmates […]

maybe he was trying to be ironic, but there’s something intensely poetic about his body language when he describes them as actual soulmates

I’m obsessed with it, but in like the way people don’t shut up about Pride and Prejudice, maybe, idk I’m just bisexual and hoping that I get half as lucky as the boys have

there are many more moments tbh I could say LMAO

Day 2 - Favourite Dan and Phil Series:

OUGHHHHH THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY REALLY DIFFICULT—

what is now called Season 1 of the Sims 4 and the Undertale playthrough are VERY close contenders, but I think my favourite series is actually the DITLs! (there’s no playlist for this one rip)

you can easily split them into two or three sections (depending on if you count any of The Making Of videos for TABINOF, the calendars, or the prep for II as DITLs), and each section has something wonderful to enjoy!

the ‘local’ DITLs (Manchester and London) are incredibly domestic, with the boys just going about a semi-typical day, and the Festive DITL honestly just turns that up to a hundred, I love the domestic ones so much

the ‘holiday’ ones too (Japan and Australia) are also super fun, because we get to see the boys doing silly touristy things like holding koalas or hanging around one of the busiest intersections in Tokyo (I also keep hearing conspiracies about the Australian one LMAO)

the ‘making of’ videos are their own unique source of slice-of-life entertainment, because They’re Getting Important Stuff Done but they’re making it entertaining for us too

my favourites are the original DITL and Festive DITL <3

Day 3 - Favourite Dan and/or Phil Outfit:

used @phanoutfitsblog’s screenshots for most of these, with the exception of Dan’s initial look in the baking video (also I’d be lying if I said that Sister Daniel wasn’t high up on this list hhhh)

can Phil stop being pretty for FIVE MINUTES JEEZ— it’s actually incredibly difficult to pin down favourite outfits for him bc he just. Keeps. On. WINNING.

his red shirt in the red carpet roasting video is probably the most iconic so far but it could really have been literally any other outfit he’s worn in the last several years

and Dan’s no slouch, either! this man is gorgeous and he ROCKS it! he wore this particular shirt (?) to an interview (or at least it was framed like one) and he looks INCREDIBLE in it but I can’t remember where I found the other screenshot so I won’t post it lmao

his initial appearance in the Halloween baking video before he changes into Sister Daniel is also equally pretty bc of the makeup and honestly? gimme your gender Howell

other honourable mentions include a recent magazine shoot that I’ve forgotten the name of (some phan I am LMAO, shame on me for only remembering the pink), and his dystopia motorcycle twink shirt from the red carpet video

Day 4 - Favourite Joint Content

oooh, difficult question, that’s like choosing a favourite child! still, the answer to this one is a lot simpler than Day 5 below, because it’s the original PINOF, as well as the photobooth challenge!

while PINOF wasn’t my initial introduction to the boys (that goes to the Sims 4), it’s one of the earliest things I watched of them, and almost certainly what got me to stick with them! (along with the Sims 4… LMAO)

Dan says he was being ironic when he said ‘this is the most fun I’ve ever had, and maybe it’s the tism kicking in, but he doesn’t sound sarcastic or ironic when he says that

it’s pretty clear from the get go that they’re two boys (boys in love, even) making a silly video, having absolutely zero idea that it’s going to change the world <3

the pb challenge, meanwhile, is just incredibly funny, I remember almost hurting myself from laughing so hard the first time I watched it XD it hasn’t aged perfectly, but that’s most things from ten years ago

the honourable mentions list is VERY long so I won’t put all of them here LMAO, but the Get Down video is one of them XD

Day 5- Favourite DanAndPhilGames video

oooh, another difficult question, here, because more often than not, the answer is yes! I could say the Halloween baking video one day, and the Katamari video the next, and one of the Sims 4 building videos because I’m a sucker for renovations (also, the GAY WEDDING and the RETURN in general!), and honestly there’s so many videos I’ve forgotten over the years (LOVE NIKKI!) but I think I’m gonna say the finale of Undertale!

it makes me cry every time I rewatch the series, and it’s such a beautiful story, and yeah I’m a mess just thinking about it, because the fact that they chose to be pacifists from the get go is one of the genuinely sweetest things I can think of

Day 6 - Favourite Solo Video(s)

oh no I don’t actually know how to fully answer for Dan, but at a guess… yeah who am I kidding, it’s BIG and We’re All Doomed! :D (yes I know WAD! isn’t a video (yet, hopefully) but it overrides literally everything else bc I loved that night so much)

BIG, as a queer person, is just honestly so incredibly important to me, because being able to listen to other queer people — very successful ones, too — and how they’ve struggled in ways I’ve been fortunate to have never suffered, and how they overcame it all, and are still dealing with it to this day? yeah I’m still so proud of Dan for it all, he deserves the life he’s made for himself <3

WAD is in a similar vein to this, but with the addition of me being able to actually MEET Dan and then watch him on STAGE as he did his comedy show! I made him laugh with a joke about Australian summer being hell, and that’s probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me <3

honourable mention goes to his Keep On Movin’ video, bc that’s just damn impressive

Phil, meanwhile… I have so many videos to choose from, and while Coming Out To You carries the same importance as BIG, if not more since I watch it more (I love them equally, but COTY is only eight minutes long okay), I am actually struggling to choose a favourite outside of it!

mostly because all my favourite Phil videos… are joint content videos!

that being said, his fourth ACNH video is incredibly sweet, and I think I might go rewatch the series!

also his house review videos (the apartment one and the expensive house one) are pretty iconic

AND the sleepless night series— can you see why I’m struggling? :’D

Day 7 - What do Dan and Phil mean to you?

(oh god I am so sorry for this monster)

I don’t remember 2016 being a particularly rough year for me, despite the many star-studded losses (rip Anton Yelchin especially), and maybe it would’ve been that way even if I hadn’t found Dan and Phil, but finding them at what could be considered their initial peak of fame was probably one of the best things that could have happened to me, because I was just a year into my experiences with internet fandom, and what better way to do that than get yeeted into the chaotic world of two British dorks on the net that everyone and their cat shipped?

I may have missed out on the radio shows, sure, and I missed out on pretty much every YouNow and Rize show and whatnot because I’m a goose, but I came into the fandom just in time to see TATINOF live, even though I couldn’t get a meet and greet ;w; one day I’ll catch Phil

I distinctly remember being at the Gold Coast Eisteddfod, which was an hour south of Brisbane, on the same night as TATINOF, and absolutely booking it back with my mum to Brisbane, stressing the entire way even as we got McDonalds and I got changed out of what was either my school uniform or my performance uniform (I can’t remember) into something more normal for a night at QPAC

and yet, once I was there, I had probably one of the best nights of my life, because TATINOF, in my opinion, is the best thing the boys have ever done on stages (II and WAD! are very close tho don’t get me wrong)

someone helped me draw cat whiskers on my face, I remember chatting happily to other phannies around me (what about, I have long forgotten), and I remember how loud it was, and how much I didn’t mind that, for the first time in my life

I bought more merch at II and WAD!, because I was either given more money or I actually had money to spend since I got my job by WAD!, but, even when disappointed by the fact that I couldn’t afford much, I have cherished my TATINOF lanyard since that fateful night in August 2015, because it symbolises just how much I love the two gay dorks who are now two of my biggest queer role models

the fact that they chose us over fame and fortune in the entertainment industry? I’m so grateful for that, because it means, even though we gave them utter hell (I wasn’t quite one of them, but I probably did a few minor demon things as a teen LMAO), they cared, and still care, about us, the audience

this is getting SO long and waffly, oh my GOD, this is why my current fic is eleven k long already, uhhhh tl;dr they’re weird and queer (affectionate), I’m weird and queer, and I am so glad I found them, because having them in my life is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, down to graduating from high school and university and having their videos to watch <3

okay that’s enough sappiness this took me like three or four hours love y’all <3

thanks @dpgdaily for hosting!!!!

[cru5h-cascades]

I decided to translate the profile of sus middle school teacher from the Emio website 'cause I'm convinced he might be the Smiling Man. I decided to use both Open L Translate and Google Translate for this just to see if anything is off in either one of these translations.

Here's the untranslated profile...

The Open L Translate translation...

Tsubasa Fukuyama

A rookie teacher at Nan Daisan Middle School. The distance during conversations is strangely close. He has a refreshing presence and gives the impression of being liked by the students, but when a certain topic comes up, he seems to suddenly act strangely.

And finally the Google Translate translation

What can we get out of these translations? Well, for starters we got a name: Tsubasa Fukuyama. Other than that it seems that he's pretty cool with the kids and seems to want to keep his students happy. However, he does get triggered by a currently unknown topic. When presented with said topic, Fukuyama starts acting weird, or hell even suspicious (at least according to google translate). Also it seems that both translations say something along the lines of "he eavesdrops on students conversations" or "when speaking to students he seems weirdly close physically/emotionally", but that's just how I'm interpreting those lines. Again, these translations are computer generated and obviously aren't the greatest but that's what I have to work with right now.

I find it strange how the profile brings up the "close during conversations" bit and the whole "starts acting weird when presented a certain topic" thing, ergo my suspicion that this MF is the man behind the bag mask (just wait and see the website is gonna add another character's profile and I'm gonna be immediately suspicious of that character too lmfao). Also, the profile never brings up what that topic might be. The loss of a child? Depression? Domestic abuse (if the bit from the Australian version of the teaser is anything to go off of)? Whatever it is, clearly the topic has such a strong effect on this teacher guy to make him act all weird all of a sudden.

Also we know who the Smiling Man primarily goes after: sad young girls. Not sad grown women. And the junior high school that without a doubt might have some distressed kids inside of it. What if this is how the Smiling Man seeks out victims? There's no way bro's just walking in the streets all willy milly hoping he stumbles upon some sad girl if he hasn't been caught in 18 years. He has to have a plan for this kind of thing. He'd have to figure out when and where kids go to sulk around the city and when is the best time to strike in order to carry out these murders without witnesses.

So yeah that's my lil game theory for you guys. I hope the translations help. Lemme know if you guys want more stuff translated :D

[cbsxreader]

Ok I want to write a story but I don't know what to write so here are the general ideas for each story below the poll and vote for the one you want to see as a story!

Sniper x reader

You're a simple gas station cashier in the middle of nowhere.

People come in, buy something and then you never see them again, since you're just by the highway and those people have places to go.

But one lanky australian who usually only comes in for a pack of cigs or gas has caught your eye.

Once he does get the news of your feelings towards him, everything seems to be going well, only for you to get tangled in his job and speciality.

Ms. Pauling x OC

Since Scout distracts her while she's prepping her purple moped, she just so happens to run out gas in the middle of Teufort.

The fact that it's already night and everyone is asleep doesn't help.

So, she heads to the mechanic's workshop in hopes of breaking in and finding some gas, only to see a small light from within.

She's welcomed in by a young, tall, skinny woman who looks weirdly awake for being up at that hour.

The woman helps her and Pauling believes that's the end of that, but as she crosses paths with the woman more and more, the chemistry between them is as clear as day.

CBS x (Freak) OC

(This story will have many NSFW elements)

Evelyn is nothing special, in the eyes of a man at least. Just a chubby, sarcastic, boring club bartender.

But when her shift ends, every once in a while, she lures a man in to an alleyway, confidently touching them and feeling their muscles.

The man thinks he's about to get lucky, only for Evelyn to pull out her fake teeth, revealing razor sharp teeth before quickly sinking them into the flesh of her victim.

This goes on and on until she crosses paths with Christian Brutal Sniper himself and gets into all sorts of trouble along with him.

Pyro x reader

(This story will have both fluff and some serious themes here and there)

You are studying human psychology, by going ahead and learning straight from experience. People visit you and you visit them, so you can become patient enough for more serious cases.

An oppurtunity appears for you when you are called upon to study a rather interesting case.

A woman named Ms. Pauling brings quite an unusual fellow for you to study, a person in a fire-proof suit and gas mask.

She tells you about them sometimes having tantrums and nearly hurting others and that she depends on you to try and see how to fix it.

Along the way, you learn a lot about 'Pyro', as they are called, even develloping a little soft spot for them, but, as you soon find out, the little firebug likes you too.

[lornrocks]

Listen every horror fan has that one villain they’re weirdly obsessed with. Mine just happens to me a middle aged man with huge tiddies and the penchant to sometimes slip into an Australian accent when he’s really upset.